Tumgik
#awful i felt and how ive tried to move on from this and now im back in it and i just want to fucking dieeee???
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This is fucking me up. I feel disgusting
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rdiowx · 7 months
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Kinktober day three
Edging with Frank Iero
This chapter is all about frank so readers gender really isn’t mentioned
Warnings!: none besides edging i think, frank being an anal virgin 💔 sorta short also its not proofread ive been at work all day
Sat on your knees between franks thighs is where you had spent the last 20 minutes, teasing him, you hadn’t even touched his cock yet. You wanted to see him desperate, broken even. His legs were shaking but this was his fault in the first Place, he made the bet and he was paying the price. The bet was that he could last an hour and a half without cumming while you teased him, he’s barley holding up after 20 minutes and he’s come close to cumming twice. Right now your hands were resting on his thighs and you were teasing him, telling him how pathetic he looked from your view and trying to keep his trembling under control with your hands. It wasn’t working.
“C’mon Frank seriously, you’re the one who raised the time thirty minutes because an hour was ‘too easy’.” You teased him, drawing air quotes with your fingers despite the whine that came from frank as your hands left him. “Okay- fuck you i can do this.” He spat, his teeth clenched and his head fell back as you palmed him through his pants. “You haven’t even let me take your pants off.” You reminded, tugging at one of the belt loops. “Sh- just shut up.” He scrambled to take his jeans off, you were surprised they didnt have a wet spot on them by now, his boxers sure did though.
When they got to his thighs you helped him, taking them off completely and throwing thwm behind you as you go to work. You could see the outline of his cock through the now soaked boxers, it made you laugh to yourself a little as you drug your finger up the side of it. He whined as you did so, trying to keep his hips still. “You know what happens if you fail this right?” You queried, moving your hands to his knees to rest as you looked up at him. “You are not- fucking me!” He half yelled half whined as you squeezed his cock. “This relationship is supposed to be equal Frank, you should let me do the fucking sometime. I think i know, i think You’re afraid You’re gonna cum too soon.” You teased as you released your grip on his cock and tried to reach your hand into his boxers but you couldn’t before frank grabbed your hand and called you out for cheating.
“No- im not gonna cum too soon that’s ridiculous.” He shot back, putting the hand you tried to get into his boxers with on his knee. “Then…maybe you’re just a coward!” You replied, a little teasing edge on your voice as you looked up to him seeing him glare at you. “Oh my god, are you a virgin?” You asked in awe, moving your hands back to his thighs once again. “What- no? we’ve had sex multiple times.” He replied fidgety, you didnt know if it was Because of the lack of attention or because he just got caught red handed. you cut him off again. “Oh my god! You are! Wow that makes so much sense, now im really gonna win this bet.” You smirked at the end of your sentence moving your hands back to his cock.
“By the way, hours up its time to take your boxers off honey.” You chuckled as you watched him begrudgingly take his boxers off, it took everything you had to not jump him as soon as they were down enough to show his cock. Instead you waited patiently before doing your part and throwing them behind you. You got to work quickly, you were set on winning now. Frank watched nervously as you leaned closer to his cock, slowly wrapping your lips around the tip before sucking it softly, just trying to get a whine out of him. You hummed around him, knowing he loved the way the vibration felt against his cock, that got a moan out of him quickly.
“That has to be cheating!” He yelled as his voice cracked at the end to which you just shot him a look telling him to shut up while you worked. He listened but you could tell he wasnt very happy about it, it didnt last long before he got distracted as you took him into your mouth a bit more. You brought one of your hands up to squeeze his base as you worked on the rest. He was trying his hardest not to crack and he knew you could tell, you smirked to yourself mentally praising yourself as you felt him squirm his noises growing in volume.
You loved his noises, you could make a album out of them and listen to them on loop. All it took was you running your tounge under the tip of his cock for him to release into your mouth with a strangled groan before falling back onto the bed, obviously aware he lost the bet. You swallowed before getting up from your knees and crawling over frank to press a kiss to his jaw. “You’re gonna be really mad when i tell you, you only has five minutes left.” You laughed as he pushed you away, you fell to the side of him before kissing his face again. “Thats not fair.” He groaned, looking in your direction. “All’s fair in love and war.”
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ru1-png · 2 years
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It's okay, I got you. I won't let you go. (comfort fic)
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. . . Content Desc ! (ノ・ω・)ノ
i am finally back once again after a month. . . ⤿ ;; Mayoi Ayase x Reader ୧ .˚ₓ this is a . . . sad fluff // (technically angst but.. good relationship) -> TW : overall bad mental state, mentions of su!cidal thoughts. i've had this idea for a fic like this for some time technically to help me out at one point. but, now ive finally decided to actually work on it so this hopefully helps you just as it helped me. ILY <3 you're so pretty/handsome and keep on slaying !!! ^^ word count : 2099 [[ another long one.. sorry ! ]]
, , i kinda felt like changing up my formatting a bit for stuff so. . . hope it looks nice ! `` for once im not going to really write a setting up the scene, i just wanna get into things, seeing as theres not much setup i can really think of . . . ENJOY (ꈍᴗꈍ)
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Staring at the ceiling for hours has become a norm for you as of late. Eyes heavy and tired, bloodshot red from having given into your feelings and bursting into tears once again. Your head can only simply register one thing, a single thought, "Why am I so tired?" But you know why you're tired, you know why you're here. But that's the last thing you want to think about. Maybe if you were to isolate your thoughts so much, it wouldn't seep out onto others, you wouldn't infect them with your incredible burnout and awful mental state. Maybe, if... you just weren't here anymore, you wouldn't have to let anybody down?
It's felt as if almost everything around you is slowly crashing down, the fact that it's all happened so slowly only makes it even worse. Like a "fuck you" that never goes away. Almost as if your new constant stresses and worries don't take up all the time in your day. Eating and sleeping have never felt like such a task, even as little as you've partaken in such tasks over these 2 weeks. "If I'm always hurting someone else or making their day worse, then why shouldn't mine be worse?" Nothing but self destructive thoughts, clawing and chipping away at the usual outspoken vivacious person that is yourself. Counting the hours that pass or occasionally opening your phone just to stare at your lock screen being the only thing keeping you from floating away in that awful fucked up brain of yours.
You feel truly utterly useless, everything you have done or tried to do has lost all its worth. The frowns of other people begin to feel like knives penetrating through you, twisting and mixing your insides, almost making you feel sick. You feel so embarrassed that your only thoughts can be "Why am I here?" or "What's stopping me." Why can't you just be normal? Why can't you just feel happy? You don't like isolating yourself, but you can't bother to leave your room even though it has been days.
As you continue laying there, every blink you make feeling tenfold of what it truly is, you are jolted back to your senses as you hear a soft knock coming from your door. Unable to really ignore it, seeing as you can't really lie about not being home, your car is outside. You return the knock, trying to hide how tired you are, "What happened?" The door then opens a small bit, only being the slightest bit ajar, just barely enough for a head to stick out from it. And that is just what happened, suddenly you see at first small bits of messy plum-purple hair stick in through the small crevice made. Then, you begin to see it, the face of the oh so lovely yet oh so timid Mayoi. At that very moment, it then suddenly hit you... "You've probably had your boyfriend worried sick this whole time." Mayoi had always been the type to show the highest bit of concern for you, no matter what was going on. But, he would never want to invade your privacy, if he think you needed your own space, he'd give just that. Even so, he'd always be right there by your side no matter what, through thick and thin Mayoi was there even if you two haven't decided to move in with each other yet. He would often have his moments where his overwhelming stresses and anxieties get the better of him and he can't help but break into a panic, being able to comfort him and help him through that would send your heart to the moon.
Mayoi's whole head suddenly peeks through the door, you hear a slight rustle coming from what seems to be something in his hand which is obstructed by the doors view. His striking cyan eyes always catch you off guard. It's always as if they are staring into the deepest part of your body, just studying you. With a concerned frown on his face, he can't help but see how tired you look, and seeing your face slightly red from the previous crying you had done only makes him more worried. Finally, Mayoi musters up the courage to say something.
"Y/n.. I'm really worried about you. Y-you haven't come out of your room in a few days, I'm so sorry for being a bother but, d-do you need me to stay for a few days?" Mayoi sounds like he might even shed a tear himself, you are simply shooken to your core seeing his face, the true worry, sadness, confusion. You don't want to leave Mayoi like that, but no matter what it just feels like you can't get your shit together. Feeling such guilt and doing nothing more than blaming yourself for Mayoi's concern, you ask him to come into your room.
He becomes a bit flustered at the request, "Are you sure I should come in? I don't want to invade your space."
"How could such a considerate person deserve me.." you'd think to yourself and you fight the urge to frown even more noticeably. "It's just fine Mayoi, you're welcome into my room at any time, please don't feel worried to step in." You give him the most comforting smile your face can possibly contort into. The plum haired boy begins moving around the scattered clothes and small bits of garbage flooding the ground, trying his very best not to step on anything. Along with the more steps into your room he took, the rustling noise from before had been revealed to you to have been indeed a bag that was hanging from his wrist.
Every second he inches closer to your bed, you can feel your body tensing up, your heart rate only raising. "He shouldn't have to go through all this trouble for me, why do I cause him all this trouble? I should be a normal, loving, happy partner, yet here I am. Doing nothing but causing him trouble. Why do I keep on making mistakes, I'm only hurting him, why would he even stay with me if I'm that much of a bother, why am I even here anymore?!" You can't help but panic, why must you torment yourself like this any time someone dares to care about you, any time someone would even try to open their heart to a vile awful person like you.
Suddenly, as Mayoi reaches your bed, you have lost all track of your thoughts, how far you have sent yourself in terms of blind panic. Because, low and behold, you are already in tears, sitting there right in front of Mayoi. You are only made aware of this once you feel one of the crystal drops run down your cheek, almost tickling it. Mayoi jumps a bit, not expecting this sudden reaction.
"Y-Y/n?! D-did I do something wrong, are you alright?! Please don't cry.... I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!" A billion thoughts rush into Mayoi's head slightly sending him into a panic aswell. You can't help but blame yourself as always for this situation. But, you do the only thing that you think you can do right now, you just... hug him, you latch your arms around Mayoi and you don't let go. Almost having him in a death grip, you can do nothing more than try to let yourself feel the warm embrace and try to calm your boyfriend down. You let out sudden sporadic sobs, not being able to contain all these bottled up feelings, Mayoi suddenly shakes each time you let one of the sobs out.
After choking on your words more than enough, you are finally able to get a few words out. "Mayoi... I'm-" you take a deep breath trying to stop another sob from coming out, "I'm so sorry.." but you couldn't stop it, more tears came out. "I do nothing but hurt you, I do nothing but cause you pain, I keep on bringing you down with my problems. I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you, I don't want to be constantly worrying you, but somehow I can always fuck up and do just that. I keep on fucking up for everyone, no matter how hard I try. I'm just... so tired, I'm tired and I can't do this anymore. It's all so hard, I'm just a waste of space that's been nothing but a useless burden to everyone." You take one last shaky breath, more tears coming, "I'm sorry....". You can no longer comprehend any basic words to use to express how you feel, absolutely out of any energy to say anything more. You just dig your head into Mayoi's shoulder, and once again hug him.
It takes a while for anything else to happen, but that's fine with you, just being in Mayoi's arms gives you a sense of comfort, but an unimaginable sense of pain. His hand begins to reach for your hair, as he shakily strokes it, just like a parent would with their child trying to lull them to sleep.
"Y/n... you haven't done a single thing wrong. I'm so sorry these feelings have been bothering you so much. Please tell me... y/n" He hesitates, slowing down the gentle strokes in your h/c hair, "Are y-you okay y/n? I'm really sorry for asking but, I can't see you so sad like this. I'm in no place to assume how you feel, so please, if you have anything going on, you can tell me."
Knowing Mayoi would be willing to give that kind of space to open up about how you feel, you decide to finally let it out. Though the embarrassment won't go away, though all the bad thoughts feel so loud, you can't keep this from him anymore. It's not worth keeping it all in anymore, not when Mayoi is so concerned about you. You suddenly begin to let everything out, talking about your struggles, your constant concerns, and well.. the thoughts you've had. Being as brutally honest as you can is all you can do, but you make sure to remind Mayoi that none of this is his fault and in no ways are you upset at him. The last thing you would want is to have him panicking which would only make things worse. The fact that he is even here listening to you, and so intently as he is already enough of a shocker.
"That's... about all, I'm so sorry about the mess aswell, I'm just.. a mess right now." You sigh as you look downward with a look of shame and embarrassment that you'd let things get this low. It takes Mayoi a bit of time to find the right words to say, a process which normally would take him a fair amount of time. Once finding out what he wants to say and how to say it, he gently holds your hand, looking into your e/c eyes with the same look you always get as you stare into his eyes.
"Y/n, you've never been anything of a bother, I should have checked on you more. Never would I believe you deserve any of this..." He pauses. Getting lost in your gaze, which shakes him up a bit, he regains his grounds, "I-i want to help you in any ways that I can... I love you, and I will be here for you. Though I am nowhere close to anything above average, I want to love and care for you in whatever ways I can. Everything is going to be okay y/n, I got you. I won't let you go."
The last sentence he let out shook you to your core, and you could feel yourself tearing up again. You then fall right into him, but not suddenly enough to catch him off guard, and you just lay there. Never has an embrace felt so... comforting, so loving, so reassuring. But, Mayoi has proved a hug like that can exist and that yes... everything might end up really being okay. After some time, you sit back up. Mayoi looks to his left where he had placed the bag he had in hand down during the breakdown, and he passes you the bag.
"I'm s-sorry if you aren't hungry, but just in case you are, I got you your favorite." He slightly blushes as you open the bag to find a large assortment of foods and snacks you like; you can't help but smile and look at him.
"Thank you Mayoi... thank you, I love you"
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plounce · 1 year
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as someone whos played ffxiv for almost 8 years now i gotta say its SO exciting to see youve started playing. i really enjoy seeing you talking about trc and kurofai (unfortunately i know absolutely nothing about xmen so it goes right over my head) and so im excited to see any thoughts you have about the ffxiv story and characters!
HEEHEEHEE. most of my ffxivposting has been in a thread on my twt priv, but after the recent botslaughter im gonna try and move it over here.
im at the beginning of stormblood. here are my thoughts:
as i said previously, in ARR i was very meh on alphinaud. i have a grudge against his ARR va (due to critical role), i was like "WHY are we starting a PARAMILITARY ORG", and i was kind of like hey. im playing a 6ft tall elf lady with a huge axe. you fancy little twerp dont boss me around. the end of ARR was soooo crazy and good though, really kicked the plot into gear for me, and those cutscenes were like WHOA!! OMG THE GUY FROM THE BEGINNING CUTSCENE... and in heavensward he became my little boy. because he basically reversed all the things i didnt really like about him. new VA. constant regret and shame about the crystal braves. and everyone was like awww hahaha youre a nice little boy. and he is. he is a boy. and he's polite. and he got a new outfit that covered his midriff, which i appreciated.
minfillia... im sorry. her VA was so insanely bad. and i never really DID anything with her that made me feel attached to her. she felt very bland and generic. i was like okay cool 👍 see ya. i also think her outfit was so blaaaahhhh like it gave me girl next door final fantasy character, NOT leader of an NGO, which would have been more appealing to me.
y'shtola: one of my mutuals is constantly posting her very cute WoL/yshtola fanart and i thought i would like a bit more than i presently do... i like her! i just feel like she hasnt gotten to do very much that isnt going "hmm.. aether." i think it's delightful that she shares a VA with sera from dragon age. bitches with bangs 4 lesbians
urianger: when i first saw urianger i was aghast. i was like. PEOPLE ARE HORNY FOR THAT THING? but now that ive seen more of his shb/edw outfit im like aha i see. you have gender. you're either like "do not perceiveth me" or "dripping with gold in a lightweight backless gown". i really enjoyed his undercover outfit with the WoD. i don't think he did anything wrong. he was like "yeah i did lie to everyone and help manipulate events to send minfilia to a different data center. i feel absolutely awful about it, i wish my trolley problem principles had not made me deceiveth thou all, i am a horrible villain, pray do not feel compelled to forgive me" and i was like nah youre good 👍 like she isnt DEAD. plus he always tried to help me a little bit when he could. i like his funny voice. i like how in ARR he was voiced by fenris dragonage. take those goggles and hood off again mx tism
tataru: if lalafells didn't look like that. i would be shipping my WoL with her. i think she is so cute and fun and a delight. she is a joy. my girl JUGGLES!!!!! she makes OUTFITS!!!!!!!!! she has A KETTLE WITH A FANCY NAME!!!!!!!!!! and she works so hard. im so glad she got to come with us to ishgard. she is my joy. my light...
thancred: i have heard tell that he really leaves behind his initial lothario characterization, and i really have not seen it in forever, which made ARR thancred perfectly fine to me. i was prepared for him to be much more egregious. i wish i knew him a bit better before he got possessed. i was like oh okay! yeah i guess i havent seen him in a while. which made me sad because i love possession storylines i think they are so juicy. his ponytail and rattee (like a ratstache but a goatee) are funny to me. thancred nakey images were funny. there was a moment towards the end of hvw when he came back and i talked to him in ishgard between convos with nobles and he said stuff that was very commiserating and i was like okay i have decided you and my WoL are complaining friends. sipping the haterade together. i think he's like 5'7". like with alphinaud, the character development in this game has really surprised me with how effective it feels. i look forward to seeing him grimly yet compassionately fail forward even more. and to be a single dad. aforementioned mutual (who i know through klapollo) is into thancred/urianger so im also looking forward to confining them into the yaoi compartment
cid: HE IS MY FRIEND :) i love how he's a short king. i like how he was simply like "fascism and imperialism are bad. i am going to go fight against it by building big airships :)" no qualms no struggle just knew what was right and went and did it. he's like a gay older coworker who you go out for drinks with sometimes and invites you to barbeques. i enjoy him and nero's turbodivorce saga.
alisaie: i completely forgot to do all the bahamut raids in ARR so when she showed up post-hvw i was like oh it's time for the girltwin! and she was like "oh we've worked together already :)" and i was like oh god. we only had one conversation. oops. so far i think she's a delight. i have heard that she's a bit of a lesbo. good for her. love that she gets a sword and she gets to be the mean one of the two twins. i cant wait for her little red jacket. looking forward to more >:)
krile: have not seen much of her so far but i LOVE how she has a cloak with cat ears, so cute. LOVE how she teases alphinaud. im like yes... shared character history... quite fun...
ysayle: I LOVE YOU DRAGON ELSAGARD I LOVE YOUUUUUU BIIIIIIIIITCH... I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. i love her style. i love her political convictions. i love her gap moe with the moogles. i think my WoL had a crush on her. i think it's messed up that during the scene where the WoL and alphinaud are prying the eyes off of estinien, she touches alphinaud's hand. she should be touching MY HAND!!!!!!!!!!!! all love to haurchefaunt but I BONDED WITH HER.
estinien: i know many people like estinien. every time he spoke a word at ysayle i felt like a barking like her guard dog. DONT YOU SPEAK TO MY GIRL IN THAT TONE YOU BROODYBOY SMELLMAN. SHUT UP. i assume he softens up now that he is retired from All That. i thought his relationship with alphinaud was very sweet - i liked when he taught alphinaud how to gather firewood. i think my WoL only tolerates estinien because alphinaud is so attached.
haurchefant: i was still barely reading dialogue in ARR when he was introduced. so he showed up and was like OMG HI AGAIN BESTIE!!!!!! and i was like oh! that man! one of my friends is gaymarried to him so he's like my gay brother-in-law. i am a lesbian and my WoL is also a lesbian so we were hagging/tyking (dyke tyke) out with each other. the facial animation on the WoL when he croaks was astoundingly good. i call him horsey
aymeric: well he certainly is competent, principled, and nice. one of the more handsome elezen men in the game. i know he's implied playersexual so i really need him to stop inviting me to dinner because i have had conversations with dude friends like that before and it is so painfully awkward. i think it is great that he committed fratricide AND popecide. wahoo!
lyse: i really enjoyed yda. yknow. i thought she was such a fun cockney karate bimbo. i didn't know she was lyse. i've heard about lyse. and how she is conspicuously the only blonde blue-eyed ala mhigan. and how she is a source of some of the collar-tugging politics in stormblood. sigh. so. i am now burdened with her.
raubahn: I LOVE RAUBAHNNNNNNNNNN I LOVE HIMMMM i love how he has a small adult son. i love how he is trying so hard. i love how he is so righteous and hardworking. the misery lolorito and ilberd put him through during hvw made me so mad on his behalf. when lolorito was like "oh, how we laughed at how upset you were!" i was like RAUBAHN. HE IS THE PERFECT HEIGHT FOR YOU TO JUST PUNT ACROSS THE TOWN SQUARE. PUNT HIM RAUBAHN. YOU DESERVE IT. and i love a one-armed king. kurogane swag
lucia: i think she is cool and fun. hahaha dont potentially be in love with aymeric queen youre so hot and cool and butch
matoya: SHE'S SO COOL. I LOVE HER DESIGN. HER VOICE ACTING. AND HER RUDENESS. AND OF COURSE THE FROGS
moenbryda: i thought she was so fun and cool. i was like cool!! new character!! big funny woman i love it!! and then near bluefog she dished about her childhood a little and i was like... is that a deathflag. and it was :(
okay thats all the npcs i can think to have anything to say about.
i was pleasantly surprised by the way that lalafells are not the lolibait/shotabait i had grimly prepared for them to be. they are just short funny guys for the most part. moving past that, i then got slammed into by the giant brick that says "BEAST TRIBES". i heard that the new writer has made their writing a lot better (apparently the alliance leaders acknowledge that they have been basically been doing genocide on these sentient beings, which is helping me push forward through stuff)! i do their quests really regularly because i like helping them out. i would really love to see someone with more expertise on the subject write about the presentation of indigenous peoples in ffxiv, because i think that there is a lot going on that is vital to critically inspect.
i have to go eat dinner now. but i will try to post more thoughts on here as i have them >:)
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vampryn · 10 months
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i learned some insane shit about my ex best friend that made me absolutely sick. im so glad i disconnected from her when i did. this girl was legitimately personally invested in being the arbiter of my downfall. the lengths the went to try to ruin my reputation is insane, especially because it just ruined hers in the long run, and cost her a career. after i disengaged i went to therapy to heal the trauma these people had put me through, and she was sitting around circle jerking with my old friends about how awful i was. i was almost murdered, i had drugs pushed on me, i was the butt of every joke, slut-shamed for things i didnt even do, and all i wanted was friends. it's just so fucked up the lengths some people will go to try to ruin your life just because they're jealous and insecure. it literally came down to seething jealousy, but i never saw it that way because my self-esteem was so shattered. i didn't think it was possible for somebody to be jealous of me.. this girl tried to sabotage every single relationship i had while we were friends. every. single. one. and we became friends at 12 years old. she has slept with the majority of my exes. at some point i thought it was a coincidence, but the more ive heard the more disgusted i am that somebody i trusted and cared for would go out of their way to do so much damage in my life. i barely talked about her after i cut ties. we still have mutual friends (the ones who stuck around have no idea what she did to me because i didn't bother telling them-- it's futile to talk about people, i didnt want to give her my attention.) im just so happy i left that "friend" group when i did, because if one of them didn't kill me i would have done it myself. she tried to contact me a few years ago, but i ignored her message. at a point, ive forgiven her for so many horrific things she'd put me through and said to me. some of these things were so unforgivable, i seriously just can't risk being the target of all of this again. i was the child in my family that people liked to put down, and i also had to put up with it at school. for how much shit i was put through i was honestly such a positive kid. i did do and say some things i really regret when i was a teenager, for the amount of pain i was carrying around with me, i did really well for myself.
after revisiting that part of my life with new eyes, im so grateful for my friends i have right now. all id ever wanted in my whole life was friends who just wanted to spend time with me, and i finally have it at nearly 28 years old. i moved to the city ive dreamt of since i was a kid, and i met a bunch of people who genuinely care about my well-being, and will actually do things like bring soup when im sick, remember me on my birthday, defend me when im not around, and they honestly are just decent, lovely people who want to see me do well. and i want that for them too! it's an empty part of my life that ive felt missing for so long, its hard to properly explain to these people how much they've changed me and my outlook (in SUCH a positive way). my situation isn't ideal right now-- but it is temporary, and despite the things ive seen and been through, and that im just out of a fresh break-up, im in a really happy part of my life. and i appreciate that beyond words.
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tfyouthinkiam505 · 1 year
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long vent//
.
okay but like
ive always been STUPID self conscious ever since i was really young
i was HYPER AWARE at a VERY YOUNG AGE that other people can perceive me
and ive been self conscious every since
even if it was basic human shit that EVERYBODY DOES, id be super self conscious and refuse to do it
things like wear a winter jacket
wear a T shirt
wear boots
i was spose to wear an eyepatch as a kid to correct my vision. like i was 4
THATS TOO YOUNG FOR ME TO CARE WHAT OTHERS THINK OF ME
BUT I DID
AND I REFUSED TO WEAR THE EYEPATCH
i regret it more and more every year tho cause my vision is absolutely fucked lmao
idk how im legally allowed to drive a vehicle lmao
i refused to wear my glasses in elementary school. i didnt start wearing my glasses until my sophomore or junior year of hs i think??? and it was very rarely. i wore them more as if they were an accessory than anything else and i also wore them when i drove like 4/10 times
but yeah, idk, i was just super self conscious about anything and everything and i still am
i lowkey dont know WHY i was so self conscious as a child since i was too young to really remember any sort of trauma that would play into it
ik now, im still stupid self conscious and the shit that have happened to me throughout my life hasnt made that any better in the slightest
but it kinda sucks remembering that ive ALWAYS been this way
i came out of my shell a little bit in middle school and my freshman year of hs.
but went right back inside during my sophomore and junior years.
and i tried really hard to come back out again during my senior year but then covid hit so i never got to finish the year and didnt get to do much of anything id planned to do
it sucked
it felt like it was my last chance to be someone and it got fucked over. and really everything else just goes downhill from there as well
over and over again lmao
crashing my car, losing my job, going into that 6 month long depression, losing another job after they fucked me over, losing ANOTHER job cause of my bf(now ex) who also worked there, went into another depression. bf broke up with me and moved out. almost became homeless cause i was terrified of leaving my house to try and get anither job especially since id been turned down by at least 10 at this time and i had $0 in my bank account and over due bills that needed to be paid
thought shit was looking up when i got my job at walmart. but ofc that didnt last cause they fucked me over so much while i was working there and then fired me. also totaled my car shortly before they fired me
and so much other awful shit
i could go on and on about all the shit i been through with little to no upsides to any of them
everything is just down down down down, a little pinch of up, DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN
it sucks
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thisisanude · 12 days
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i feel crazy i feel absolutely insane the timing is just so weird too like i don’t understand what’s happening ive never felt this weird and unsure of what to do in my relationship WELL i have in other ways but never this one this one is the weirdest TBH. like on one hand i love him and every time i see him i feel genuine love and happiness and like i want to build a future with him and i love hanging out with him and he makes me feel better. but on the other hand. we have had issues before he would get petty over things i really didn’t appreciate and part of me is like it’s my fault too cuz i can be bitchy like sometimes i talk before i think. but idk i feel like that’s the worst of me like he would get so upset at moments when he really shouldn’t have been or when a partner should be supportive. and the petty things. like the first time like 2 years ago when i said to him at a bar i look so good everyone here wants to fuck me and he was very upset and took that real not well but didn’t tell me about it till months later and that’s why he would get so petty. and this was the same instance when i found out that he was being petty to me bc also months ago i made a joke to his friend about his bong being dirty. and i don’t even remember how they fight went bc honestly it was awful i tried to push it away so bad sooooo bad and that fight was like a year and a half ago. i remember being truly hurt for the first time, like instead of trying to solve something he was being petty. it was so upsetting and i feel like that made me see him differently bc i will never feel like i got full closure. like i was saying sorry for doing those things too much and he wasn’t saying sorry for being petty enough. i do get angry tho and i don’t give in when im really mad. and then ! that was like the worst our relationship was bc i had already not been happy with him prob bc of his pettiness and distance from me in the before months so that fight was like damn i could see myself without you. but then things started to improve he was cleaning his act up and in a few more months i felt really happy in our relationship again. it’s like wow i can’t believe i ever felt upset or wanted to leave i want to be with you forever so bad this is my person this is my soulmate. and then next july which was almost a year later we had a big fight THE DAY I WASS MOVING OJT….. which if you know me my room and apartment is a very very very lot of work to move out from. and the last year he wasn’t in town so he didn’t help me but this year he was helping me. and last year i helped him move out after he left town and did a lot of work also but that don’t matter cuz it’s not like transactional but just saying im not only expecting help from him i help him as well. but i don’t even fucking remember what that was about either! crazy how bad my memory holds fights and bad memories like that altho i’m sure i was prob smoking a lot around this time which doesn’t help. i just remember being extremely angry with him and for the first time in a while thinking oh i don’t think i should be with him forever. and i honestly didn’t feel like i was fully recovered i feel like i was just like let’s fix this asap bc i needed to keep MOVING OUT and i didn’t want to be immensely stressed and upset. but i don’t even remember what the fuck he was upset about but i do remember him telling me i shouldn’t have told my BEST FRIEND about him potentially moving back home the next year and us maybe being long distance. and i was like wtf is wrong with you for being mad at going to my best friend like that’s an emotional upset thing for me and i also don’t wanna make you feel guilty for leaving by talking about it in a sad way. and he was like now she told her boyfriend (who is his dealer) and now everyone knows my business when i don’t want anyone to. like bitch what the fuck why do you care so much shut the fuck up holy shit and he was like why is it a big deal it’s not a big deal and i was like how can you say that. he’s like that’s like the same thing as you going to ur home country for
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hm ok i know it was ages ago but i still wonder which way my ex is spinning the story tbh. i mean i know some of it?? he is portraying me as abusive and predatory. why? cus i lost my shit with him a bare handful of times? cus i didn't continue to treat him like i worshipped the ground he walked on, after he abandoned me and got married to someone else?
abandonment.
i built my life around him, accommodating him, caring for him. that's on me, yeah. ive learned since to not do that so much. but i was in my early 20s, still very young, when i met him, i didn't have a solid grasp of myself, much less my boundaries; which i could not set or enforce. in fact, a lot of my ex's behaviour was aimed to erode my boundaries. he needed to be included in everything. he needed to have my attention, constantly. if i wasn't giving him attention in the ways he wanted me to, it was always my fault.
so then he took off for a month and during that time left me adrift.
and I've been afraid of changing
cus I've built my life around you,
and then when i tried to be in contact during that month, he shot me down and accused me of guilt tripping him... for doing exactly what he wanted me to do literally the entire rest of the time.
when he got back, it was the perfect storm. he was married, had had a taste of the life he wanted to live. a life that didn't include me, at all, he had made that very clear in his behaviour towards me during that time.
he said he didn't owe me anything.
that was the moment i decided that well, in that case, I didn't owe him anything either.
and the months following that were awful, as he found ways to punish me for this. interspersed with joy the likes of which I'd never felt before - as I decided to come out of my cocoon and move on a little bit myself. as i fell in love with my now feyonce, i, too had a taste of the life i wanted.
and with my ex blaming me, bitching about me loudly where i could (& had to) hear, whining about how he just wasn't a priority to me anymore, somehow i felt disinclined to invite him into my new life, my newfound joy.
it turns out that if you tell someone that you won't be taking their needs into consideration anymore, that you don't owe them anything, they might end up not wanting to make you the number one top priority in their life anymore. huh. fancy that.
he punished me for it relentlessly for about 9 months before finally leaving.
in his side of the story, i had abused him.
had deliberately kept the relationship unequal (even when i actively empowered him to get his own income. even when i encouraged him to have his own life, pursue his now wife, pursue other friendships and relationships).
i had enabled his drug addiction (which he already had when he met me; it was medicine for him you see. if id pushed him to give it up that would have been held against me just as much)
had been violent (once grabbed his arm during an argument. and then when he was married and i found out that his WIFE thought we weren't sharing a bed/room anymore, i told him to get out of my room. i threw his clothes in the hallway once. SO VIOLENT)
I'd insulted his wife by calling her ugly (he called her ugly first and i routinely got punished for disagreeing with him)
i was a nonce (we were both adults when we started dating)
I was disrespectful of his boundaries (his boundaries were "i don't wanna hear about 🐻" and then "you violated my boundaries by not telling me you were going out to see them", his boundaries were "you gotta look after me and help me out even if im being an absolute shithead to you in the process" and "you can't talk to my friend, our mutual housemate" and "you can't rant about this situation on twitter" and "you can't go to see your partner for a park date". yeah)
possibly he's also saying i stole his cat or even cut him off from seeing pictures of him (he left malibu in my care willingly, acknowledging and admitting i was gonna be a better cat parent for him. i never said he couldn't approach me for pics and even now wouldn't shut him out if he asked)
anyway
yeah this post about boundaries got me thinking about him again for some reason. my life is so much brighter without him in it and i regret nothing??? if he wants to see pics of the cat he's more than welcome to ask for them. i would be happy to share. Malibu is so happy these days. a confident, loving, playful little boy. he's in excellent health and loves to chase string and he loves his sister so much. he loves 🐻 so much. he's so happy.
that's my takeaway from this. my cats are happy. they love my partners and they love me. that's all i need. t b h.
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okkkkkanddddd · 2 years
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5/10/2022
Ive moved back home and tried to resist temptation from moving back in with Sam  . my job feels hopeless and the upside to moving home is that i dont need that much money and if i need it i will ask my mum . i like having a break from work . it really did drain my soul to have been at that job . i kept telling myself it was because i was meant for better things and that eveyrtime i fucked up or someone said something about me it didnt matter because anyone could do this job and the only reason they needed me to be better was for their selfish capitalistic gain . 
im friends with oliver again . he is trying his hardest in this relationship . i think he feels awful for how things ended in highschool . i like my relationshiop with him but sometime i cant help but think he is doing all of this because he likes me . but not likes me where he geniunley wants to be with me but because im pretty and i do spontaneous things out of my stupidy  that appears cool to someone on the outside. I have a habit of always jumping the gun on things and having control over situations. i think i just need to learn to trust again and know that our relationship is pure. 
I feel conflicted more now than ever because i dont feel like i am moving . like i am cursed . like whatever my dad said is manifesting in my brain and becoming true. Im glad i dont have stockhollm sydrome like my sister. i dont want to protect anyone who has executed bad things onto me knowingly and used me as some kind of trophy to hold up against other people in the indian community. Everytime i talk about my dad i feel like i have control over what has happened to me . like i can recognised ive been a victim from evil family members . i do know alot of him still lives within me but its one day at a time. i talked about him yesterday to sam .
I want to break up with Sam . ive been feeling like breaking up with him for some time now. but in between that time ive felt an urge to fight for this relationship with my life. i dont know why , maybe because i dont want this to be just another guy i go through that people will remind me of . or maybe tis because i question ABSOLITLY EVERYTHING so when i question a relationshiip i dont even believe myself if i dont like the person . 
Sam touches me and is hardy considerate of what happens to me . he grabs my thighs with keys in his hands , he constatnly pushes me off the bed or off couches , he throws things at me  and when i say it hurts he doesnt care or he will say sorry and just do it again. i have made him aware that i get very upset about this . He doesnt care about what i have to say half the time and talks over me with a stupid noise or joke. i feel like im dating a primary school kid. He is way too invested in the lives of our other friends ( female friends) when i was ranting and crying about my trauma with my dad i mentioned a scenario to compare with my other friend and he seemed to be very interested in that scenario about her than what was going on with me. he kept persisting even though he knew i was getting irritated . i dont feel like he deserves me opening up to him. sometimes i wish i never dated him and we were just friends. i also dont feel like he is the right guy for me because . he doesnt understand my family and constantly makes me feel like im using my trauma as an excuse.
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9tzuyu · 3 years
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four months.
note: hiiiii! just trying to get into the groove again. i dont know what this is. the original prompt is below, however it did not turn out that way?¿ its kind of a mess, but fluffy i suppose. i hope you enjoy :>.
using my own experience so don’t think i hate poor people because i am those people </3
(also chapter 4 of children of tragedy will be out soon, i promise. ive just had awful writers block.)
+ thank you moli for proofreading so i dont have to. i love you.
warnings: none?
prompt: * reader used to be poor and stuff and w/n is like “you know you don’t have to get the cheapest things” and R covers it up and says “oh this is the brand i like, but w/n discovers hidden receipts and asks why they have a bunch of useless receipt and R is like “i was just tracking how much we spend....”
🏷 @natasha-danvers @midnight-lestrange @whatiziz @kermy48 @mycosmicparadise @peggycarter-steverogers @blackxwidowsxwife (lmk if you want off the tag list because ik i dont post as regularly as other writers, so im just going with people who have told me they want to be on my tag list in the past)
and lastly, for my baby @nermalina. its not really your genre per se [ i have a smut fic that i’ll dt you on ;)] however, accept this as a form of love.
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it wasn’t so much that you were homeless and out on the streets, but you weren’t necessarily well off either. working as a waitress only got you far enough to pay your monthly rent and gas. somehow you managed to squeeze in a list of groceries.
every penny counted, you didn’t have room for mishaps or sick days. thats why you kept your budget small and a stash full of receipts on the kitchen bar.
natasha didn’t know about any of this though. you were sure she’d have you by the neck if she found out how long you’d been keeping your secret.
the redhead was generous, and no matter how many times you offered to pay for something she would never even dream of letting you. natasha insisted on it, and you were powerless to stop her.
it wasn’t until you tagged along with her on a trip to the grocery store when things began to unravel. she only needed a few things, nothing important.
but nat was quick to pick up on the fact that you continuously flipped every little thing you picked up to look at the price tag.
“here, it’s the cheapest one i could find.” you said, smiling as you handed her a cardboard box of pasta. natasha hummed, “you know you don’t have to get me the cheapest thing on the shelf.”
you bit your lip, eyes suddenly looking back at the shelf of different pasta boxes. “i know... it’s just- it’s my favorite brand.” natasha automatically knew you were lying by the way you began chewing on the inside of your lip.
she narrowed her eyes. “no it’s not.”
“huh?”
“you got this brand because it was the cheapest. you know i can afford more, which leads me to believe you do this out of habit.”
you shuffled uncomfortably under her gaze. “no, i just really like that brand.”
the sudden realization that she had never been to your place struck her.
“y/n?”
“yeah?”
“why don’t we go back to your apartment after this? we can just relax, watch a movie, do whatever you want.”
a mix of guilt and shame flooded your body. but damned if you didn’t still give it a try.
“my apartment’s a mess right now, you don’t want to see that.” you tried, offering a small, dry laugh in hopes of getting her off your back.
“you’re a terrible liar.”
“i’m not-”
“i picked you up from the park today, just like every other day. i’ve not once picked you up from your own apartment, so what are you hiding?”
when you didn’t give an answer, she tossed the cheapest box of pasta in her cart and walked away. you groaned as you watched natasha leave before catching up to her.
“okay, okay, we can go back to my apartment. just don’t judge me, alright?”
she smiled softly, “it wouldn’t even cross my mind.”
soon enough you began helping your girlfriend load her car with bags full of miscellaneous items. nothing needed to be refrigerated, so if natasha wanted to, she could stay at your apartment all day.
your leg bounced in the car as you gave her directions. but soon enough, after what felt like the longest fifteen minutes of your life, natasha pulled into a parking space right outside your door.
you silently cursed yourself for not renting a spot upstairs. at least then it would’ve prolonged the situation just a little bit longer.
natasha watched as you fumbled with your keys, your hands visibly shaking.
“fuck.” you mumbled after hearing the clank of metal hit the ground. you bent down to pick them up but natasha beat you to it.
“which key?” her voice was soft.
“the yellow one.”
the door swung open and you motioned for natasha to go before you.
it wasn’t bad, really. apart from the chipped brown walls, the lingering smell of cigarette smoke (you hated your neighbors for that), the broken windows, lack of space and furniture that was as good as the floor.
natasha noticed the windows first, a sense of protectiveness overpowering her. she didn’t like that you weren’t safe.
you went to offer her a water bottle, but she wasn’t paying attention. instead, she noticed the lack of food in your fridge, frowning when you tried to cover it up.
another few minutes of her silence went by and you couldn’t take it anymore.
“look, i know you’re rich. i know you like to have luxury brands and that you don’t have to worry about whether or not someone will break in and steal what little you have left. but that doesn’t give you any right to judge me. i’m sorry i don’t live up to your expectations.”
natasha licked her lips and leaned her back against the kitchen counter.
“how long have you lived like this?”
her question caught you off guard, but you managed to find an answer.
“i’ve always lived like this, nat.”
she nodded solemnly before abruptly turning around to look at what was inside your cabinets.
“what are you do-”
“you have no food.”
you sighed, “well yeah, i can’t really afford it.”
“and the receipts?”
natasha was met with a shrug. “have to keep track of everything somehow.”
she stared at you a minute longer before finding the exact words she wanted to say.
“i would never judge you, or anyone for that matter, on their living situation. i know people don’t always have a say in what or why things happen.” she paused. “but i don’t like knowing you go to sleep every night with broken windows practically inviting anyone to come in and intrude. i don’t like knowing all you have to eat is bread, canned fruit and grilled cheese sandwiches.”
you listened to her ramble on, still nervous about the fact that this was new to her.
“so come live with me.”
“natasha-”
“come live with me.”
you immediately shook your head. “no, no, no. nat don’t even-”
“i’m serious. you won't win this argument, y/n. let me take care of you. i don't mind picking you up and dragging you out of here myself if that’s what it takes.”
a sigh left your lips as you folded your arms across your chest. “natasha, i can’t have you do that. i’m okay, i promise.”
the redhead raised her eyebrow. “how many times have you gone to bed hungry? or let your car run on fumes for as long as you could? and how many times have you gone to work sick because you can’t afford to miss one single day?”
when natasha was met with no reply she moved closer to you, wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you into her embrace.
“i know it’s only been four months but i don’t think i could ever forgive myself if something happened to you and i didn’t do enough to stop it.”
she kissed the side of your head, “let me take care of you.”
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futurewriter2000 · 3 years
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Rocks and Dust
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A/N: I don't know why Remus gave me such Heath Ledger vibes when I was writing this but he did and I am honestly so fucking proud of it. Now, I really want to make myself some rice and chicken... or just rice. I hope you like it <3
REQUESTED BY @cloudywitchh: Hiiii, Im not sure if your requests are open, but if they are i have one. :)) Before I request, I want you to know that I love your oneshots and series! ive been binge reading. Could you possibly do a Gryffindor reader that has both james and remus that like her. oneshot or series. if you choose to write it, thank you, if not i understand
XX
Souls meet when eyes do and it hasn't been much easy to hold yourself back when such mesmerising hazel eyes had done nothing but watch you seductively.
At first you couldn't feel it but after a while, something in the back of your mind told you to look a certain direction. When you did, your eyes met his and a certain colour started to appear on your cheeks.
You watched him, he watched you. "Yes, Potter?" you asked with a smirk forming on the corner of your lips.
He smiled, tilting his head a bit to the side before speaking. "Had you done something new with your hair?" he asked, glancing up at your hair as you let out a laugh.
"Not really."
"Well, no matter of it." he leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "You look absolutely stunning."
You felt your heart flutter in your chest but you were not about to let him know that. "Thank you. When don't I look absolutely stunning." you joked and he rolled his eyes.
"Hey, mate." Remus came into the common room and tapped James' shoulder as he passed him by, sitting next to him.
James smile faded a bit. He was a tad disappointed in his friend's presence. Everything had seemed to go so well between you and him. If the two of you continued to be alone, he would have had more confidence to ask you out on a date. Knowing that Remus took fancy in you too, it was a bit challenging to do so.
"What's up, Moony?" James looked at him, clearly not in a friendliest tone Remus was used to.
Remus' lips twirled upwards and he felt amused by his friends' frustration. He looked at you and smiled wonderfully. "Hi." he said and you smiled cheerfully, oblivious to the competition in front of you.
"Hi, Remus."
You seemed to be a tad disappointed as well. You loved to flirt with James because it seemed so easy and fun to do yet sometimes you couldn't understand whether he truly likes you or if he's doing it just out of fun. But you live by your mother's words; If a man truly likes you, he will do absolutely everything to let you know and pursue you.
That was why you were always so laid back. You didn't overthink anything when it came to boy. They seemed to think more simply than girls and whatever they did, they did because they wanted to, not because there was a whole scheme behind their actions.
You could see a bit discomfort in James. You couldn't really figure out why but he started to pout, which had made you a bit more uncomfortable around both of them.
Remus, however, loved to talk to you. He was open and honest but sometimes you felt as if he held too many secrets inside of him. To you, he was a bit harder to get to know, no matter how much he could tell you.
"You're going to love this, (y/n)!" he started to sound more excited. "I had found the oldest yet most interesting place a few nights ago-" he hear- both of you heard James scoff to that. "And I know your curious spirit cannot wait to explore it."
"Where?!" you threw all your books away and jumped forward. Old ruins and historic backgrounds always made you overly excited. You must have gotten it from your dad's side of the family. Everybody seemed to be more of history freaks and you were no different.
"I can show you. What do you think James?" Remus turned to James, who only laughed.
"No, thank you." he stood up and stretched his arms over his body. "Rocks and dust? Not my cup of tea. If I wanted to take a girl I fancy-" he looked at you with a grin and a soft chuckle. "I'd take her somewhere more romantic." he walked to you and winked. "A lovely restaurant or a walk among the trees under the moonlight." he was leaning down to you, close and observing the flush in your cheeks.
Your eyes were meeting and it lit a fiery spark between the two of you but as you didn't want to give him the pleasure of it, you rolled your eyes and moved away. "That's a bit of a cliche, isn't it, Potter?" you stood up and stretched your back as well. "I don't do romance." you turned from James to Remus and smiled excitedly. "Shall we go and explore!?"
"Yes we shall."
---
Remus hasn't felt you this excited over some 'rocks and dust' in all the years he had known you but he had felt his heart fill with joy and love when he could see how a person can live for the small things in life. You didn't care about wealth or power, neither if a person was physically beautiful and attractive. You neither cared if person had its flaws, you still loved anybody for who they were; good or evil. You always tried to look the best in people and your gift was, that you always seemed to bring out just that out of everybody and especially out of him.
As the two of you had walked, he had realised that he wants to tell you something important to him. It wasn't a secret to his friends and family but it was a shameful secret to him and to everybody else.
"Can I tell you something?" he asked as the two of you were climbing up the hill.
"Yeah." you stopped, gasping for air and putting your hands on your hips. "I think we need to rest too." you smiled and he laughed.
"It's not that far. We're almost close."
"My heart is almost close to stopping too."
He laughed again and sat on the rock, finding the moon shining on him as if it was leaving its fullness from a few days ago. "I just have the need to tell you this... and I'm serious."
You looked up at him and found the moon perfectly cut out the colour of his green eyes. "Your eyes look so pretty in the moonlight." you said without any filter but sat down next to him.
"Thank you."
You smiled and looked up at the moon before taking a look of his worried expression. "What is it?" you shoved him a little as he smiled. "You can tell me your deepest darkest secret." you joked but it was no joke to him.
"Well... I'm... I'm a werewOlf." he stuttered out, trying to sound casually as he said so but unsuccessful.
You only stared in silence, clearly processing the information as he was impatient to wait for your reaction. Your eyes only narrowed at him and you nodded. "I knew it."
"You knew it?" he asked, furrowing his eyebrows.
"I mean, I didn't know it. I just know there was something to you that I couldn't put my finger on but I kind of knew it. It did cross my mind once but I brushed it off quickly. I didn't believe it but apparently my intuition was on to something." you laughed and stood up, offering him your hand. "Shall we continue?"
"You don't seem a tad phased by it." he took your hand gently and stood up.
"Oh, I am but I really don't mind people being people. You know?" you started to talk fast. "I don't judge people by their flaws, more by their actions and I don't seem why your werewolfness would bother me when there are far worse withces, wizards and Muggles in this world, who are far more worse than any werewolf I had encounter. Which, you're the first but still. You don't seem the one to eat children and howl at the moon."
He let out a loud laugh. "I don't eat children but I do the latter."
---
The two of you walked up the hill hand in hand, him trying to pull you up as his steps were much larger than yours. He was more of muscles than you, faster and careful as for you seemed to trip over a branch or two.
He had opened up as the two of you made your way to the top and started to walk on the flatlands. It stretched far away from the castle but you could see the ruins so clearly from the distance. The light of he moon made the subject far more pleasing to the eye and at that moment when Remus was talking to you and your eyes seemed to wander on the view- everything seemed to be perfect and you imprinted that moment into your memory so that you can look back and re-live it all over again.
As he talked, he seemed more lose and excited. He hadn't held back on anything. He had told you about Animagnus forms of his friends and how he isn't the only one who howls at the moon. Sirius apparently loves to do it just as well in his other form. He had constantly made you laugh by his full moon stories and how he accepted the awful fact of his life-long destiny of sharing his body with a beast.
He was glowing, literally glowing when he was telling you all the things he was hiding from you and for the first time, you were the one to listen and he was the one constantly talking.
"We're here!" he pointed at the ruins of an old castle. It wasn't big or notorious as Camelot or Hogwarts or any other historically known castle. It was small and poor in it's built but it was still a castle, just not the traditional kind.
He let go of your hand and it gave you a sort of an electrical shock as he did. You seemed to be so comfortable and in love of holding hands that you completely forgot what it was like without his fingers intertwined with yours.
It wasn't for long though. He had opened the old wooden door for you and offered you his hand to lead you inside. "After you, m'lady." he bowed as a gentleman should and you hurried up inside, taking him by the hand and leading him behind you.
Your wands needn't to be lit as the moonlight made it's own natural light through the large gaps between the rocks. Nature made it's own charm by growing vines around the walls, flowers and grass among the cracks. It truly did feel more magical than the magic itself.
"Oh, Remus look!" you ran to one of the walls and saw names carved in. "Ibzan." you smiled back at him.
"Old biblical name." Remus followed and saw many other names written around it. "Arthur." he laughed. "Wouldn't be an English castle without an Arthur in it."
"Tatiana." you looked at it. "Like a princess." you looked at him but he seemed to be very close to you, staring forward. His chest was against your back and his head leaning over your shoulder. You didn't have to look back. You could only move your eyes to the side and see him there.
He seemed to be so focused on the rocks in front of you that he hasn't even noticed you marvelling at him. All you could see, for the first time noticing his sharp, nicely structured side profile. His cheek bones were finely defined, his lips sharp and plump and his eyebrows nicely arched.
He truly was a beautiful boy and you hadn't noticed it till now. His palm was placed against the rock as he was supporting himself but when he had noticed you looking at him, he slyly looked back. A corner of his mouth quirked up and he said: "A girl doesn't need to be a princess to have a beautiful name." he spoke low and quietly.
The spark that James lit before was over-flamed by the passion Remus arroused in you. Before you knew it, he was leaning down and kissed you softly. One short kiss and it was enough to tempt you for more. You put your hand around his neck and pulled him down for me, smiling into it as you had felt him smile as well. As heavy as they felt, they seemed light as well because no kisses seemed to be as perfect as his; soft, teasing yet deep and passionate.
When he placed his hand on your cheek you could feel the dust set on your skin. You let out a giggle and he pulled away. "What?" he smiled but then just noticed how dark your cheek was. "Oh, my-" he let out a laugh, then looked back on the wall his palm was pressed on before. "I am terribly sorry."
You laughed as well. "Don't worry." you continued to laugh and wipe it away. "It'll probably wash away."
"Probably." he tilted his head a bit and gave you a peck. "And we should probably head back."
Putting your arms around his neck, you made a big stretch and looked up at the sky. "Ugh..." you looked back into his green eyes, burning your soul into sparks and bitses. "But it's so beautiful here." you let out a small whine and he chuckled.
"Well, (y/n)(y/l/n). I didn't think you did romance." he teased.
"I don't. I let the man do all the romance for me." you stepped on your tiptoes and brushed your nose against his.
"That's a bit unfair."
"I wouldn't worry if I were you, Lupin. I have time to make it fair."
"Glad to hear it."
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inncubus-honey · 2 years
Text
healing kisses
finally a hyunjin fic in this blog! also thank yall again for all the love my bang chan fic <3 i didn't expect it to blow like it did, but im soo glad yall liked it!
Word Count: 695
Hyunjin x gn!reader
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"...and so when you do the jump, you have to keep your feet close-oh hello." hyunjins babbling was cut off as y/n entered his hospital room. an iv came from one of his hands and towards the machines next to the bed.
the poor nurse who had to listen to the hallucinating blonde boy for the past 10 minutes took her opportunity to leave, she shoots y/n a thankful smile as she shuts the door behind the couple.
"who are you? are you my doctor? if so then you're a very pretty doctor." y/n took a chair next to hyunjins bed to which said boy gave his signature gummy smile.
doe's eyes disappeared into his cheeks as they moved with the smile. gently he felt a hand hold his, their thumb rubbing against his knuckles.
"no, lovebug. im here to pick you up. how are you feeling?" hyunjins eyes popped open in awe of y/n at their words. soft giggles echoed off the walls of the resting room, hyunjin fuzzy head overloaded on the lovey words from his partner.
"really? you're here for me; are we dating or something? wait, i must be dead if they sent the prettiest angel to me." y/n hid laughs behind their free hand. a pout formed onto the boys plump lips as he heard the laughs from y/n, no matter how hard they tried to hide them.
"a-are you laughing at m-me? do you think i-im u-ugly or something?" his pout got bigger as tears welled up in boba eyes. y/n matched his pout, moving their hand that occupied his onto his chest.
slowly they rubbed his chest like they did his hand, hyunjin turned from a pouty baby to purring cat as a warm feeling flooded through his chest.
"no, lovebug. its just you're so cute that it makes me happy." leaning over from their spot, y/n pressed many little kisses over hyunjins face.
his giggles echoed off the walls again. his much larger hands cupped y/ns face with such a tender touch as smiles spread from one to another. but sadly as soon as they started, y/n pulled away from the ferrets face and back into their seat. hyunjin let out soft whines as he didnt want the kisses to end.
"yes. we've been dating for two and half years." the way hyunjin watched their eyes meet their cheeks as they smiled and how normal it felt to hold their hand. or how warm his head and chest began as he stared into their eyes.
hyunjin realized that he didn't need morphine to feel high. he could just stare at y/n and it would have the same effect; he wanted forever to admire his y/n and their own level of ethereal beauty.
"so, did they send an angel to heal me? w-was it those k-kisses you gave me i-if so can you give me more, miss angel?" he gave a small pull at y/ns arm, trying his best to sit up in the bed. but the pull of pain at his side forced him back down with a groan.
"you gotta be careful, jinnie. you'll rip the stitches, if not." y/n gently pushed hyunjin back down. carefully moving the blanket, they checked on the incision.
"b-but can i have more k-kisses, please?"
"one more for now." y/n gave a peck on hyunjins plump lips. they had to pull away to go find the doctor for the release papers to take the giggly ferret home.
y/n was thankful that hyunjin would not remember any of this when the medicine wore off. this would be their own special memory of hyunjin that she could think about whenever she was feeling down.
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"well i wasn't lying! you're an angel!" hyunjin shouted from his spot on the bed. y/n was fixing their bookshelf on the other side.
"stop, jinnie! you know how i feel when you get like this.." they turned their back to him so he wouldn't be able to see their flushed cheeks.
"i regret telling you everything, you little ferret!"
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seijohsbabe · 3 years
Text
Reward
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Ship: Oikawa, Hanamaki, Matsukawa, Iwaizumi x Reader
Wordcount: 2,9 k
Tw: smut, pet names, overstimulation, abuse/rape (Reader kinda likes it ??), noncon
a/n: im so dumb ive deleted the old post so I have to repost it sorry guys :( If you have ideas for a next story, my inbox is open!
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Nervously you looked to the ground. The mood was bad. More than logical, because the team you have been with for a long time has just lost to Seijoh.
 But not only that made you look to the ground, there were four glances that made you tremble, and you knew exactly from who they were coming from and why. Your bet with you, which you had not really agreed but refusing with the four was no possibility. After your transfer to Karasuno, you were hoping to finally have some rest from the four. You were Oikawa's girlfriend, but his three friends also had a say. After you gathered your courage and broke up with him, it was far from over. They chased you, humiliated you, reached for you like you were a simple doll to them. Your move to Karasuno was like a glimmer of hope for you.
But only after 5 days they found you again, and drummed into you their bet to destroy Karasuno and take you as a prize. And here you were, on the bench, stunned, staring at the ball that practically meant your death. Shimizu, who was sitting next to you, noticed your trembling and held your hands with downcast eyes. But she didn't know a bit whatyou will expect now. You quickly tried to pack all your things and get back on the bus as quickly as possible. And you almost thought you had made it when you ran down the hall to get to the exit, but a hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you into a room that you actually wanted to walk past. The room turned out to be a locker room. The door slammed behind you and you got pushed right against it.The four pairs of eyes that you actually no longer wanted to see were now right in front of you. 
Oikawa who was still pressing you against the door let you go slowly to take a step back, to your surprise. With an all too familiar grin, he looked down at you, just like the other three who were just a few steps behind Oikawa. Only now do you really realize how big they were again, how much stronger they were. You can just grab yourself so easily without you doing anything. "Lil cutieee." Oikawa said first. His voice made you tremble and crouch. You know exactly why they dragged you in here, but you couldn't have it that real. Iwaizumi, who so far has only been against one without comment Was leaning against the wall, with crossed arms, now pushed off to slowly approach you. "Can you still remember? Our little agreement? We want our price." What can you do It was hopeless, you were trapped in the wolves' den as a little rabbit. But you still had one option. Your gaze slid briefly next to you, where the door handle was. Oikawa hadn't locked it. You quickly grabbed the door handle and tear open the door to get out of this cave. But Iwaizumi must have noticed your gaze and no sooner had you opened the door than he reached for you and slammed the door with his foot. Your back was now pressed against his chest, and your hands were tied tightly to your body, his hands completely encircling you. "I would give myself up." He whispered in your ear. And with that your last hope was gone.
Matsukawa was now in front of you, to put his big hand around your cheek without comment. "Come on, you will surely like it bunny. "
His hand went deeper and deeper until he came to the edge of your t-shirt, which he pulled over your head after Iwaizumi slowly let go of you. They all stood around you like a hunter who had just caught his prey. Somebody loosened your bra from behind, and you were completely free of the upper body. Matsukawa quickly followed, pulling his turquoise white jersey with the number two over his head to show his well-toned upper body. But your hands were still shaking. Suddenly you were pulled along from behind. That someone turned out to be Oikawa, who sat down on a bench and positioned you with your back against his chest.
Hanamaki, who now crouched down in front of you, slowly took off your shoes and training pants, while Oikawa attacked your neck from behind. Unnoticed, you tilted your neck to give it more space. a slight giggle came from his mouth because he knew he had you. Your legs have now been spread apart after your underpants were also taken off. "Oh, already that wet arent you kitten?" Makki grinned with a knowing grin. The other two men had completely undressed in the meantime and were watching this happen while they lazily stroked their cocks up and down.
Makki's finger crossed your lips, which you feel a slight gasp. But Oikawa noticed it and raised his voice. "Oh our lil cutie, so excited for our cocks aren't you?" Your head shook, but the grip on your chest gave you a jerk. Makki lifted your legs to put them on his shoulders. THAT he was with his face right in front of you. You felt his hot breath against your core. And even though you were totally against this one, your hands ran through Makki's strawberry cake colored hair to get him to finally do something. and he knew what you wanted and started to work your cunt. His tongue wandered everywhere. He practically ate you up. But it was a wonderful feeling as Oikawa's hands wandered over your whole body. Little whimpering could no longer be suppressed. Oikawa's hand wandered until he put it around your neck to squeeze lightly, until he then slipped two of his fingers into your mouth and whispered softly in your ear, "Suck" and as obdiently as you were, you did it, which gave you a simple "Good Girl", but those simple words wandered down into your core, where Makki was just still eating until he looked up at some point, chin smeared, and an amused grin on his face. Oikawa's fingers now slid down to play with your cock lips until they sank into you with a jerk. To your despair you had to groan. It was useless, you should enjoy it. And this change probably all noticed, because your grin grew now. Oikawa's pace grew faster and more hectic until you were just a groaning bunch. And just as your walls spasmed uncontrollably around his fingers and your climax was approaching, until his fingers stopped and slipped out of you.
"O-Oi-Oikawa please" you whimpered. But he just giggled. "Its Tooru my lil bunny. But be a good girl and suck my fingers clean." And so you did. Your tongue swirled around his digits, until all was nice and clean. He got up slowly to get you on your feet, but the only shivering. As soon as you were on your feet you threatened to fall over, but Matsukawa caught you directly to lead you two to the ground. He leaned against a wall while positioning you on his thigh with his hands on your hips. The pressure against your cunt was so good that you couldn't stop grind slowly against his thigh. But you couldn't do it for long, because he held you tight with his iron grip. ,,issei! Please"
" I have something much better, kitten "With that he lifted you to slide you on his not exactly small penis in one go. Damn, not only its length was too much, from the middle it got thicker and thicker, and you didn't think you could manage everything, your hands were already pressing against his chest until you finally got to the base of his cocks. A loud sigh escaped you. But before you could even open your eyes again, he lifted you up again to lead you back down in a train.
And with that this knot of pleasure tore and your climax came with a jolt. Your eyes rolled backwards, a scream left your mouth, your body ran out of strength, and your head rested on Matssun's shoulder. But he was just getting started. He took your buttocks and now moved his hips with incredible speed. "I-Issei- I can't take it anymore please" you whined. "Oh come on, one more baby." And suddenly you felt a second figure appear behind you. Your head turned wearily to look at Makki's face. He positioned himself under your second hole. "Please no more no-" "Aw come on, bunny your gonna feel amazing, just relax alright?" And very slowly you felt how he was advancing, slower than Matssun, but the pain was there anyway. To be completely filled was a strange feeling, but it was still exciting in a way. This time at a slow pace they moved the two in and out. You felt the two next to each other, separated from just one wall. The knot grew again. Completely blown away in ecstasy, you did not notice how someone was standing next to you three until your hand, which until then was still on Issei's shoulder, was placed around a cock. It was the brown-haired wing spiker iwaizumi with a small grin around the corner of his mouth. "Don't mind helping me a little my dear?" Your senses were completely gone, but you tried to drive up and down with slow movements. Swear words and moans escaped him again and again. You looked at him, his lust contorted face, until your face was turned with one hand to the other side. Oikawa looked down at you, and you knew exactly what he wanted. In one go you took him up to your throat. But it wasn't enough, it was still a few centimeters You wanted to take your head back again and start a new attempt, but your head was held tight by Oikawa. While Matssun and Makki kept going out and in, and their thrusts became more and more targeted, you had to choke Oikawa's length. He tried to push the last few centimeters in.
"Come on baby, you can do it. Yeah just like that, FUCK!" his head leaned back while his hands were still in your - now - totally confused hair. ,, Youre doing so fine bunny, next time we will destroy Karasuno a second time, a-and fuck, and next time you should come on time. Alright? "The question was hypothetical because your mouth was still around his cock. Another hard nudge from Makki tightened your throat and Oikawa howled loudly.
" Fuck do that again. " And so you did, because you didnt want to make him angry, not in that position that your in right now. Your head was finally let go. The spit ran from your mouth down to your chin to your bust. "You look so beautiful, our lil cumslut." Matssun growled, while he used a harder and faster pace with Makki. They came closer and closer to their climax, because you felt them twitching inside you. And you too came closer and closer The pressure that Matssun now put on your clit almost bursts your knot. Only a small piece was missing. "Plea-Please, I-Issei, Makki, I wanna cum please!" Did you cry now? You will regret it in retrospect, but you didn't care about anything at the moment, because the climax was within reach. Makki came first, and sank his seeds in a hard thrust in you, and waited a while until he was sure that every mililiter was in you. Now Matssun could lift you up slightly to hammer into you. The knot burst, the tears just ran from your eyes. "Too much, too much" you mumbled, due to the overstimulation. After a short time Issei came deep inside you and also made sure not to waste a mililiter. After Issei pulled herself out of you, you felt so empty. It was embarrassing, what would Dachi Kyooko or even suga say? They would cast you out. You are sleeping here with four of their arch enemies. Especially one of them, they probably all hated. You had never told them what you and Oikawa were too embarrassed about you the whole thing. And now see where you have landed. While you were not only crying from the overstimulation on the cold floor of the locker room and the cum of the two men just ran out of you, two strong arms lifted you up. But he just picked you up while he whispered in your ear: "Oh one round baby, you cant let us two all high and dry hmm?" And with that you were put on Oikawa who looked at you with a big grin. " Please, I cant tak it anymore guys.
But the two ignored your protests and penetrated you at the same time.
"Oh you can, and you will." Oikawa said while he slipped into you. Your whimper could be heard outside but there was definitely nobody there, the games are over and everyone is gone.
Your hands pressed against Oikawa's chest as you continued to protest. "Oika-" But you didn't get far because he muted you with a hard thrust.
"Call me right princess."
"Tooru, please."
,, Good girl, your so brave. come on we make it fast hmm? "
And that's where real hell began. The two went in and out alternately. Building the third orgasm was bad. You felt everything. Every vein of its length penetrating your walls. While you were wondering where they got all their power from, Oikawa pulled you down to share a lovely, almost beautiful kiss with you, but you knew what was behind this facade. The devil himself, with three helpers by his side. his tongue rammed into your mouth and quickly got the more dominant one.
When Iwaizumi also marked your neck, you had to groan again. The grip of iwaizumi on your hip got tighter, and you are sure that it would leave its mark tomorrow. After they both broke up, their pace picked up again. However, when Oikawa briefly repositioned himself a little, he hit exactly this point with the next hit, the point that got you around every time, and made you see stars. Of course, Oikawa noticed this immediately and rammed into it with all his strength.
a loud fuck escaped you while you felt the two getting closer and closer. Their lengths twitched in you. Your climax was probably not far away either, but you weren't really excited about it. He will rob your last strength that was left to you. "Fuck your so tight-" Oikawa hissed now, until you felt the final snap and the load he send inside of you.
And right after Iwas fast snap of his hips your knot of lust loosened and pelted down on you twisted, your strength that somehow left you on top went from you and with that you hit oikawa's shoulder. Your arms and legs were shaking, and you only felt Iwa pulling out of you. He must have come too. Your senses are like Blown away, you only felt the cold ground below you after Oikawa got up. You should also walk slowly, you didn't want to be around this monster any more, but your legs were shaking, so you read yourself on the bench fall, cum slowely dripping out of you. ,, Princess get these on, you don't want our gift to be lost. " He threw your underpants at you, but you'd rather wash yourself. He noticed your reluctance and raised his voice. ,,Now" With trembling hands you put on all your clothes, but Oikawa didn't throw you your top but his white turquoise jersey with the number 1.
,, uhm, Tooru, you gave me your top. "
He just laughed. ,, Of course honey, everybody should see who you belong to. Since you knew that there would be no point in protesting, you put on the slightly too large jersey.
"Oh you look adoreable!" But you just felt how all the cum flowed out of you. He put an arm around you to leave the lockeroom with you. The others are probably already before. But when you got closer to your team , they looked angrily at the one standing next to you, then at the all-too-familiar top what you were wearing.
,,Sorry people i spilled water on my top and then slipped. Luckily Oi- "you noticed the slight pressure on your hip, a sign." Tooru there. " you looked up at him with your eyes until he spoke.
"Oh yeah, your little manager chan is very clumsy, better take care of her." As he turned to leave, he whispered in your ear without anyone seeing, "Next time, you will come twice as much princess . We will not lose. " And with that he disappeared, leaving you alone with the team, while thousands of thoughts buzzed through your head about how you could escape him.
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hitoshisbabygirl · 3 years
Text
Author's Notes ♡: Hey Hey, it’s me, ya girl and I’m back with another collab! Ive always loved the roommates theme and have a few ideas for some other ones in my head making this. It’s kinda all over the place because it was a professing with their friendship! Yes I made a Zelda reference and I land about it no. I know Rapp is seen as violent and dense but but this is in a collage au so he’s just a bit...aloof I just love the idea of him actually being a big softie ʕ⊙ᴥ⊙ʔ. I hope you enjoy! ~ bunny ❥
Warnings : NSFW!!! (◎_◎;)
Sweet caring sorta himbo(meh?) Rappa, female oral, Big Dick Rappa , sorta size kink if you really sqint,cheater ex mentioned like once , language
Word count : About 5k! Yikes ^^’
Paring(s) : Kendo Rappa x F! Reader
Enjoy ♡
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Having Kendo Rappa as a roommate is an interesting feat in itself. He is big, and loud , very very loud. He wasn't a bad roommate he just..was like a cute large and fluffy puppy that didn't know his size...or power. Their interactions started as the two met during a halloween party one of the frat houses down the street thew. [ ] went as Midna, her best friend Rumi was dressed as Impa while the last two of her friend group , Amaya and Asa, a pair of sisters, were dressed as fairies. “[ ]! Rumi! you two are so cute! Zelda costumes?” Asa asked as her sister ran up to admire their outfits. “Yeah! [ ] wanted to do some characters that matched us y'know?” She said as she nudged her quiet friend , the girl jumped and laughed , scratching her neck as she gave the excited sisters a small smile “If i was coming out tonight I was gonna wear what i wanted to really wear” [ ] said as the group of them laughed and mingled with their other friends and classmates. While heading to get juice , she heard loud screaming , as the sport boys were starting to show up. First was the football team, then the basketball. Baseball and wrestling came next, then the smaller clubs finished them out. Sighing [ ] was content away from everyone as she watched mayhem ensure, chugging of barrels , more music, girls swarming around the players they crushed on as they did minor things, like talk to their teammates or eating from one of the big food trays laying around. Feeling a tap on her shoulder broke her from her people watching, Rumi giving her a bright smile as she took a cup and joined her. “How's my favorite antisocial babe doing now that all of the party has arrived?” She asked as [ ] gave her a pained smile, going to get more if something to drink “Well I don't feel the need to smack anyone is that a good sign?” she chuckled as she got a hug from the more energetic girl “That's my girl! Don't worry, i wanna get out asap but we’re gonna need our favourite pair of sisters before that can happen and it seems like they're fawning over some of the baseball boys as we speak” Rumi said as they watched a familiar tutu of blue go by, followed by a pink one going a similar way. “I don't get it… but at least their taste in men isn't too bad” [ ] joked as Rumi agreed , laughing “Yeah miss tsundere, you can't stand saps, or most of the jocks either” giving the white haired girl a look she rolled her eyes and gave her own laugh back “Yeah I guess i'm either picky or just got high standards” “Ain't nothing wrong with that we all do!” She said as she elbowed the girl beside her.
As the two of them sat there and talked Rumi glanced past her and her eyes widened, causing [ ] to stop talking “What is it-” before she could question her, the white haired girl jumped up, waving at someone “Rap! Over here!” Constantly yelling to someone [ ] started to ask again when a booming voice came from above her “HEY RUMI” a very loud voice called as stomping could be heard before it stopped “I see you took our idea huh?” With that comment [ ] turned around only to be face to face with a dark cover chest, only to then look up to some of the most warm and amber colored eyes looking down at her “Hello there little lady, I like your costume! Erm..Midna aint it?” The giant ganon dressed man questioned as all she could do was shake her head in agreement, causing the giant male to laugh “Awe don't be shy of me kitten i ain't gonna bite!” He chuckled some more as her friend jumped in “I told you she was shy! Be nice Rappa!” Rumi yelled at the flaming red head as he gave her a toothy grin “Oh I was just teasin’ , I bet I ain't hurt her feelin’s did I sweetheart?” Rappa questioned as [ ] face felt hot, hiding her face in her hands as the teasing duo laughed causing the girl to huff “I'm tired of you two already” She said as a giant warm hand touched her shoulders “Awe dont be like that hun, in time ya’l love me” Rappa teased as he gave her a smile,making her stomach flutter “Yeah! This is who wanted you to meet anyway [ ]! This is Kendo Rappa, our top wrestling boy, Rappa this is my adorable best friend [ ]!” Rumi said as the two gave each other a shy smile , a sly one creeping up on Rumis as she thought to herself “Yeah, this'll definitely happen”
Since then the two had become more acquainted , having many classes together and sharing some similar friends [ ] was used to the bruting and sometimes dense man making a random ( and loud) appearance. As [ ] sat in her mostly empty room thanks to her last roommate moving out after constantly breaking sound rules and getting into it with the girl downstairs for being in her bed with her boyfriend (Yikes) she felt a sense of calm. Closing her chemistry book and letting out a relieved sigh [ ] thought about the fact she was going to get a new roommate, the thought was nerve wracking but also it was exciting as well. It was almost too quiet , having the last room by the stairs meant she didn't have to deal with many people besides her friend group. They weren't loud , unless one of her friends decided to get laid and made way too many sounds, or if their neighbors under them threw parties or also had...extra partners coming around. She definitely could feel she was sorta excited she was going to have a roommate again. The sisters had a room to the left of her while Rumi had the one to the right, sharing it with a girl they knew from math. The rooms were not gender defined, some girls having rooms with guys and vise versa so it made it easy to get a room.
These dorms were also quite spacious, the walls not paper thin and a large enough area space that could house two or maybe even three people. So when she heard a knock on her door she expected it to be her new roommate she was advised would come today. Happily opening the door she was shocked and almost terrified to see just a box, well actually a few boxed stacked hiding whoever it was behind them. But if the faed rustic orange hair and wide shoulders meant anything she knew her new roommate already “K-kendo?” [ ] said as the boxes walked by her , landing with a soft thud as bangs covered the male “[ ]? Is that you?” moving his hair out of the way their eyes had the same expression, shocked. “Uh h-hey there sweetheart why isn't this cute, we’re roomies hun?” he laughed as she couldn't help but give him a smile back. “I never expected to see you as my roommate” [ ] teased as Rappa gave her a hardy laugh “Well it looks like me and you are gonna be close friends here darlin’!” With a wide smile he picked her up and gave her a tight hug, taking her breath away ‘ Oh boy i wonder how this will turn out’ she thought as she was eye leve with her giant puppy like friend, his eyes filled of joy
Which leads into now, [ ] trying her hardest to read up on what her next project could be. As she sat there thinking she heard the tale tell sound of her roommate entering with some of his teammates, the boys loud and rambunctious as they entered. Feeling a heavy hand on her shoulder she looked up to the towering boy that was her roommate, his eyes just as bright as usual. “Hey darlin, we're just gonna talk up sum strats a for the upcoming match and play some games in the back , is that alright?” He asked with pleading eyes as one of his more cocky and jock like friends spoke up “Well youre the man here, dont let some women say if we cant or can be here” Rolling her eyes and proceeding to stand up and push past the wide eyed boy who knew what was going to happen. [ ] took in a breath before opening her eyes to look up to the boy “Well it is my room, i pay shit here and the man over there didnt get this place, so i do choose who can and cant come through my place” She said as she pointed a finger to the boys chest. Trying to push his luck he pushed back against her finger “ I bet you just haven’t gotten a good enough dicking for you to just stay out of the way” He laughed. Before [ ] could hit him hard enough her rust haired friend moved in , clearly towering the boy “Yer better watch yer mouth, she has her right around here, im invatin her space so watch it before there's no place for any of us to relax without rules” He said as the boy sucked up any laughing and nodded his head in understanding. Surprised by her usually aloof roommate [ ] stood back and went back to her work, the other boys scrambling behind kendo as the boy who tried to challenge her jumped to follow, never making a move to mock or do anything again.
The boys picked back up and were having fun in the back room of kendo’s , sighs and groans when they lost and victorious laughs and screams if someone won. Once they all left and everything settle to a quiet rumble as the last few funneled out [ ] could here herself think, reading up on chemistry as she felt a presence behind her. “ ‘M sorry, i didn't know my question wouldve cause a roar outta ya..” Kendo started as she smiled gently, turning to face the wounded boy “Its okay….guess it just lit something in me i always did y'know?” She said with a small laugh as she went to type again, but was stopped by the hulking boy. “I gotta make it up to ya alright? I know i aint say anythin that he did but…. It feels like my fault y'know?” He admitted as his large hand covered hers. “You wont live this down will you?” She questioned as his eyes flickered up to hers, sparking. “Nope, not at all. Lemme treat ya right okay?” For such innocent words [ ] couldnt help the shiver that ran down her back at his words. Maybe it was because he was so close, or that the smell of his cologne was too much, either way her head was spinning as she let him still hold her hand as he tugged her away from her computer , his smile widening as she reluctantly shut the bright screen “Great! Now let's get something to eat im starvin” He rasped out as [ ] gave him a giggle that made the boy stop in his tracks. He always thought she had a cute giggle but this one,for some reason , made his heart and chest feel warm and tight. Ignoring the feeling he took the girl with him, the two headed out to get something to eat as they headed down , the sound of her giggling still running though kendos mind.
Getting a random frantic text from Kendo wasn't unusual, in fact it was quite common for him to do such, which now didn't faze [ ] at all but this one was...particularly odd giving what he was asking ‘Hair? And messy? What in the world is he up to’ [. ] thought to herself as she headed to her shared room with the boy, nervous of what scene she could be entering.
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Sighing after his last text she hurried her way to their dorm room and in fact he did leave the door open, making her more nervous as she entered the living room. “Kendo?” [ ] called out as she heard a gruff sound come from her bathroom. Entering was a sight of its own; towels, a bowl of some..substance , bags and bottles of body wash and a one flustered and shirtless Kendo. “[ ]! ‘M so glad yer home here take this” The large man said as he handed her an old toothbrush that was frayed and covered with the same odd substance in the bowl. The lingering smell from the room eventually gave it away ; shampoos. “Uh why do i need this? And why is there shampoo on a toothbrush” She questioned as he groaned, taking the towel off his head as she blinked owlishly at his very faded red orange hair, the color now more of a neon pumpkin. Shaking off extra water caused even more of his hair to fall, landing between his shoulder blades as he gave [ ] a desperate look. “It wont come out, and the more i scub the more...orange i become. I look like a orange peel” He whined as [ ] figured out what he was trying to do
“ You wanna remove the color right? A bowl of shampoo and body wash isnt strong enough” Going into their kitchen she grabbed some baking soda and lemon juice , coming back to the hopeless boy “Let me mix something up ive used before okay? Then we can proceed with your hair” Two and a half hours later the boys hair was now a light peachy orange, just light enough to take up with bleach “Well, if were gonna go for blonde ill go get some bleach and some masks, deep conditioners too, your hair is definitely gonna need it and I don’t want it breaking off because you're impatient to take care of it” she sighed as he was amazed at his hair, running a large hand through the still damp mess atop his head “Wow yer good” He said as she smiled at him, taking her keys “And you have a lot of hair. I'll be back” She said as she hopped up “Wait! Lemme go with you?” He asked but also seemed to demand, pleading eyes looking down at hers as wet hair dropped onto his still bare chest.
Trying not to be hypnotized by where they landed and proceeded to slide down she looked up at her amber eyed friend, who was staring intently as he waited for her answer, soft “Please?” coming from his lips. Sighing dramatically on purpose [ ] laughed at him, giving him a grin “of course you can you big puppy” she said as he picked her up in a hug, a gesture that shows his excitement she's come to learn. Putting her down he went to go to the door before his friend called him out “uhm Kendo? You don’t have on a shirt” she said plainly as he looked at her, raising a brow as he gave his rebuttal “Its hot” He responded. Giving him a side eyed look she turned from him and towards their bedrooms, [ ] sliding into his. Soon she came out with a sleeveless one, throwing it at the hulk of a guy infront of her “You can't come in the store without one” She said as he gave a growl of his own, sliding the shirt over his head as they left their apartment “Well at least ya got me one without sleeves” He huffed as they started back to the door, heading out to finally go to the store to start another process on Kendos hair, the male just excited to finally get rid of his pumpkin hair.
As Kendo sat in the shared living room with [ ] , deep conditioning his hair at her yelling request (‘If you dont re nourish it before you want me to bleach it , I won't do it!’ ) he watched his roommate and now his best friend wanderer around and do housley things for their apartment, the girl content as she cleaned and sorted out things in the kitchen, her body turned away from him as he started to think over how beautiful he thought she was. He want the type to brag or gloat about having so many girls comment on his size , height wised and well sometimes other ways , trying to tempt him to them. All while his friends wanted him to explain how he got the attention from the other gender , Kendo hated to admit it but ,he only wanted his roommates' affection. He knew how put together she was, smart and kind. He saw what her previous boyfriend did, a cheater that didnt take care of the beautiful soul he lived with. He couldnt stand seeing her come home and cry herself to sleep broke his heart, and when he fought the cheater, in the act he didnt feel bad once. Of course it ended their relationship, and [ ] yelled at him for fighting , explaining how he couldve ended in jail for fighting her ex, but he argued it would be worth it.
Sitting and mulling over everything he realized Rumi was right, hed do anything for [ ] but not the same for the other females that passed through his life. She actually, was the first person he did that for and that thought made his head dizzy. Moving from his place on the couch he went to stand in the kitchen, waiting for [ ] to come back from her room. Hearing the iconic sound of her feet pittering across the wooden floor he gave her a lopsided smile as she jumped, smacking into the chest of Kendo. Before [ ] could fall from impacting with his chest he caught her, holding her arm to his chest. “K-kendo! You shouldve told me you were in here! Why are you in here anyway?”[ ] scolded as he laughed, moving out of the shorter girl's way as he started his staring again, this time [ ] noticed him “......What?” She asked as he looked down at her, an unreadable look on his face. “Kendo” she called as he hummed, moving closer “Yer gorgeous” Kendo blurted out as [ ] started to stutter, eyes going wide. Taking teo steps forward he essentially trapped his friend between the corner of their kitchen canopy. “Remember when I fought that bastard of an ex you had?” Kendo asked as he saw [ ]’s eyes go soft , shaking her head “What about him...i'm still mad you almost lost everything just to fight him yknow” she huffed as he poked her cheek “Id do it again if it meant you'd be happy again yaknow” Kendo said as he leaned down to push his head against hers, amber and [ ] eyes mingling. Lifting his large hands he traced each side of her cheek, analyzing over her face as he nuzzled against her nose “Stop playin hard to get would ya? Bad enough you got my heart all in your little hands” he whispered as [ ] just started at the giant , her arms gently coming over to cover his that were place on her cheeks “K-ken..i need to start you hair..” She hopelessly try to argue as he groaned, burying his face into her neck. Squealing at his damp hair touching her shoulder [ ] jumped ,pushing the large boy back “Your hair's wet!” She whined as he chuckleed, mo\ving back as it turned into a booming laugh “Oh my ‘m sorry babe , you look surprised” He said as she smacked hsi chest “Go to the sink, i need to rinse the conditioner” She yelled as he hwld his hands up in a mocked surrender, pulling his shirt up and off in one fluid movement. Caught up by him stripping his shirt off [ ] gave him a glance over, the heaviness of him admitting feelings for her in his own unique way still lingering in her mind as the toned and strong back of her friend made her head hazy. Turning around from the lack of notice of his smaller friend Kendo caught the eys of [ ] staring, her eyes quickly flickering to his curious ones as he grinned “See somethin you like darlin?” He teased as she grunted, reaching up to push his head in the sink “Shut up and let me do your hair”
And like clockwork, Kendo rappa was an icy blonde after two days, a break given to his long ,thick and wavy hair, the giant boy looking over his new look as he sighed happily, loving to have his hair finally look normal. “Well damn [ ]! Ya made it even better than what i was thinking. Look! My hair’s all wavy at the ends and it's soft! Whatever you made me do made it feel better!” He raved as the girl looked over her work. And in fact it was highly even, his hair consistent and lavishy soft. Giving him a shy look she giggle “That's what a deep conditioner will do to damage hair and the way i'm always untangling your hair for you, i knew it would need it before you wanted to go white” She said as he just kept running his hands in his hair, turning back to her “I could just kiss you right now!” He blurted out as they both froze at his words, eyes wide from both parties “I-I aint mean it [ ]” He croaked out as she giggled, stepping back from him “O-of course you didnt, why would you i mean aha..”She said as she moved away more , his own words started to hit him as he realized the reverse effect it was having “NO! No, I'd want to kiss you, I really really want to. I just...want it to be on your terms okay?” he said as he grabbed her arm, holding her in front of him as if she'd float away if he didnt.
“Kendo...I..” [ ] started as she came back to his hip, laying between his legs onto his thankfully covered chest “I just dont want to lose you if you decide you wouldnt want me around” She whispered as he pulled her even closer, kissing her forehead as he stared at her “Dont you ever say that again ya hear me? Youll be my princess and ill be your humble er..knight” He hesitated as he tried to think of a sweet way to explain his feelings. [ ] looked up to him as she felt here eyes feel heavy with tears. Before one even fell Kendo pushed his lips as soft as the strong boy could, wrapping a large and beefy arm around her waist as he slipped his tongue in her mouth, letting his hand slide down to pull her up to sit on the tops of his thighs while he leaned against his dresser. Softly [ ] pushed her hand on his chest and pulled away, now eye to eye with Kendo “Sorry , d-did i overstep my place” He asked as she let out a snot, before laughing. Confused, Kendo went to talk before she stopped him “No no, youre good, just that if we keep kissing on this dressed there's gonna be a hole in the wall” She said as she pointed to where the mirror kept tapping a spot, scrapes already aroring it “R-right!” He laughed too, picking her up to set her on his bed “Now then...lemme serve you princess” He said before kissing her again, not letting her rebuttal his own comment. As the two kissed he made sure to be as gentle as he could be , at times clumsily nipping her lip or his hand pulling hard at her clothes.
All in the name of wanting to show how much she meant to him. Soon he pulled away, a small string of saliva strung between them from the hearty kissing. “[ ]...i think i love you” He said as she gave him a soft look , trying to catch her breath from the dramatic kiss they came from “Good, because i love your loud ass too Kendo” She teased as he smirked,leaning down to bite her neck, causing her to moan loudly “We’ll see whos loud after im done wit ya” he gave his own tease back as he moved between her plump thighs, kissing the flesh there as he pulled her shorts to the side, exposing her flushed lower lips. Gasping she reached for his hand that held her legs apart causing the fresh blonde to look up at her, eyes wandering over her face for signs of him to stop “I-Im not used to being this bare sorry..” She whimpered out as it dawned on the other side of her words “Have you ever ate out baby?” he asked as she hid her face from him, shaking ehr head as he groaned, pulling her shorts down as he saw her lacy panties , a smirk placed on his lips as he peeled them off too, a string of arousal keeping them plastered to her lips “fuck, that bastared really didnt take care of you” he growled as she sat up to see his darkening eyes kiss up to her lips whispering out a “but i will” as he sucked one of her lips into his mouth, causing a lound moan from the woman he was inbetween. Slowly he licked up her lips, searching for that small pearl as she whined, a hand coming down to tug his hair. Grunting he soon found it, sucking onto her clit as she gasped, her thighs shutting over his head as he looked up to her, watching as her back arched off of the bed once her pressed his tongue hard against her clit. Softly he let a hand run under her thigh, a single thick finger tracing over her twitching hole as he pushed it in gently, making [ ] squeal. “K-Ken!” She called out as he looked up again, catching her eyes and flushed face on his actions. Making a show of what he was doing he let a second one join the first as he sucked hard on her bud at the same time making [ ]’s eyes roll back as her hand fell from his head, nervous od pulling too hard. Kendo however had other plans. Feeling her walls tighten around his fingers he made sure to find that spongy spot and hitting it, finally pulling his lips from her clit as he smiled “Uuh Uh doll, look at me” He growled as she hesitantly glances at him, regretting that she did. He looked way too good, hair a mess as he was panting, catching his breath from being down on her. With evry pump of his fingers his muscle in his arm twitched, making her own walls spasm as she watched it “Ya like it sweetheart?” He asked as she shook her head, watching him move back to her pussy “Good, cause i aint done” He said as he gave her clit kitten licks beofe slurping on it, throwing a wink at her as he picked up his pace, making [ ]’s voice rise as she felt herself getting close before quickly snapping at a particular hard thrust of his finger to her spot on her walls.
Letting out a light scream she came over his fingers and tongue, the male laughing gleefully as he sucked up her juices. LEtting her come down some he watched her face as bliss spread through her body and a sense of confidence whent though his. Slowly he picked up the pace of his fingers again, going from a shallow push to more stroking as he heard [ ] whine, grabbing at his hand “Uh uh sweetheart, you taste too good fro me to only let you cum on my tongue once” he said as he pushed her down by her stomach, letting her take his spare hand as he went back to suckling on her lower lips. He knew he had a lot in stored for her, and watching the newly admitted love of his life cum from his pleasing was enough for him to realized he needed to do more. Popping off her clit as puling his fingers gently out he looked at her ravished body, using his non wet hand to pull at his sweats. “Youre beautiful like this [ ]” kendo said as she took in heavy breaths, feeling her throat close as he stroked his massive size, rubbing the swollen head as he looked at her , giving her a soft smile “Ya dont have to take me just yet , hes just throbbin too much” He groaned as he twisted his hand hard over his leaking tip, feeling himself throb as he laid back on his bed. “Ride my face?” he asked with one of the most sinful looks [ ] had ever seen ; lustful eyes watching her as his large hand stroked his larger dick, the soft and fleshy muscle jumping at watching her crawl to him, throwing a leg over his neck
“I-i dont wanna suffocate you..” She said as he smirked before saying “Ya cant suffocate me i want it” Soon he grabbed her hip, pushing her onto his awaiting mouth as he picked up his pace, sliding his tongue into her twitching hole as she rocked her hips, keeping a steady pace as she held herself on his shoulder and headboard, ,depreate moand and cries tumbling out as he rocked her too, going from her clit to her dripping entrance, stoking his dick harder and harde as her moans spurred him on. Soon he felt the bud in his mouth twitch and throb harder, the sounds [ ] made increasing as his own hand sped up with his throbbing head, the telltales of them both getting close. A moan erruptred from the girl on his lips as she came again , her essence running down his face as he groaned, ropes of cum shooting onto his hand and stomach as he came himself, still stroking out what he could as the pressure he felt subside. Sliding off softly [ ] saw the mess behind her, taking it upon herself to lick up some of it as she was met with his same aber eyes, watching her move to his still hard member “Let me take care of you too?” she asked shyly. Fuck he was done for as he felt himslef hardend worse at her words, a large hand coming up to smack her ass as he psuhed her up and over his head, letting his tip and her swollen lips run over eachother. Slowly he pushed his tip past her budding lips, entranced by the way it swallowed her whole “Fuck...i love you [ ] and by the time im done with ya...youll know it” he whispered in her ear as she felet him push, more and moreof his large size spreading her lips father than shed ever had. Her eyes rolled up as she felt him bottom out, both moaning as he picked up his pace, making a soothing rhythm as little moans and whines came from [ ], deep grunts coming from Kendo as he kissed her shoulders and back, marking where he could as he felt himself get closer with how she was throbbing over his member.
Digging his fingers as deep as he could in her plush hips he let our a mantra of ‘Cummin’ i and ‘ I love yous’ in her ear as she pushed back against him, feeling herself teetering as he pushed as deep as he could go ,letting himself cum as she came too, the overwhelming feeling of him throbbing against her spongy walls and previous orgasms enough to push her over a third time. “[ ]” Kendo rasped as [ ] hummed , feeling her legs still shake with him in her “Im serious, i'm never leaving you...you're mine and i love you…” kendo said as he kissed the back of her neck, nibbling her ear as he stayed in her “Mhm….i love you too Rappa..”
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dmc-tings · 3 years
Note
How would the 4 lords reaction to finding mono from little nightmare 2 and how would they react to his powers
I love the Little Nightmares Games, and I do hope we get another installment of them. And this was a really fun ask! Enjoy!
Lady Dimitrescu
The Lady had no interest in te little man-thing
And desired it to be dealt with, but the ever loyal woman obeyed Mother Miranda's orders
And kept it around
"Quiet little thing aren't you?" She spoke to it distasteful one day
Mono only gazed at the large woman
Alcina took this as a "yes" and started to leave
The little man-thing could do what it wanted, as long it left her daughters alone
Days past and Mono had free roam of the castle
The girls, found him rummaging through the kitchen for scraps
Curious they plucked up the little man-thing and started to torture him
Well tried, they found themselves warped and stuck in the walls
Hearing their screeches of anger Alcina rushed down
To see Mono crushing her daughters
She paused to take in the scene
Watching in horror, as the walls twisted and her daughters cried out in pain
"STOP THIS, NOW!"
At Alcina's demand, Mono stopped, releasing the girls
She gathered them behind her, glaring at him
Mono only hung his head, he felt bad...
This woman was kind enough to let him stay here
Alcina saw this and turned to the girls,
"He is not to be harmed. Now go. Play elsewhere."
The girls obliged, after giving Mono curious stares
After this incident, Alcina kept a closer eye on the little man-thing
He was definitely special
Angie and Donna Beneviento
Angie found Mono, he was wandering around in the garden
And normally anything unlucky to wander in there would be subject to hallucinations
Not Mono, he had been at the the of the greenhouse, swirling the glass, in a call for help
He was lost and didn't know how he ended up in this world
Now, they stood infront of Donna, Angie holding the boy up like a puppy
"Can we keep him!?"
Donna peered close to Mono, eyeing him curiously
"Ok..." she muttered, leaning back and turning to another one of her dolls
Angie spent the most time with Mono, seeing as they were the same height
Donna would hold him close to her, she was worried the dolls would lose control and attack him
Mono revealed his powers to the pair when Angie complained about having to walk, despite Donna carrying her
She was laying face down in the floor moaning, "I. HATE. WALKING."
He looked at Donna, who was sighing and standing still, looking down at the doll
With a flick of his hand, the door to the outside moved closer to the three
Angie hopped up, excited, "WOW!! YOU CAN DO THAT!? CAN YOU-"
Donna cut her off, "Angie. Enough." She knelt down next to Mono, "This is an amazing gift. But do try not to use it in front of the others. I dont want them to take you. For now, the other Lords and Mother Miranda think you are a normal child."
Mono nodded, taking Donna and Angie's hands, a a silent agreement
Salvatore Moreau
The Fish Man looked at the small human in awe and confusion
The little one was... CONTORTING REALITY
Moving the near by boulders and rocks close to him, then pushing them away
With practiced ease
Making himself known, Moreau slowly walked out and walked over to Mono
"How... how are you doing this?"
Mono didn't answer, but backed away from Moreau
"Do not be afraid. I wont harm you... I do not wish to." The man sat down, showing he ment no harm to Mono
Slowly, the boy relaxed, and sat, still keeping the distance between them
The pair sat in silence for a few moments before Mono brought the cave where he was staying closer
Then stood up and waved Moreau to follow him
The Fish Man obliged, following
Mono showed Moreau his home, the things he's found and the one Vârcolac that he had befriended
Which happened to also be one of Moreau's favorites
"Ah, I see that Stephen has made friends with you."
Mono nodded, then offered his hand to the man
To which Moreau happily took, letting the boy lead him further into the cave, Stephen following
Moreau gasped, as Mono brought the entrance of the Stronghold close to them
"Send this back little one. The beasts in there aren't as kind as Stephen."
Mono gave Moreau a horrified look then quickly thrust the entrance away
The two became alot more friendly, with the trend being Moreau telling Mono about all of the safe places
And to keep away from the Dangerous places of the area
Stephen helped, by being a mount for Mono as they walked, enjoying one another's company
Karl Heisenberg
The Metal Man's eyes gleamed with greedy excitement
He could use this kid to get a one up on the Miranda bitch!
He rubbed his hands together, deviously
Mono had been running around the Factory, able to keep away from the monsters
But the moment Heisenberg saw the boy running around, a "rescue" had been in the works
He sent the Soldats on a rampage, constantly chasing the boy
Soon Mono tired, and started to faint, to which Heisenberg showed himself, dismantling the Soldats
He bent down, looking at the poor kid
He felt bad
"Ah shit..." Karl picked up the boy, who was half unconscious
The next few days he spent trying to get Mono better
Once Mono was able to stay awake, Karl explained himself
"Im sorry kid.. I saw your power, and... well I was gonna use you to kill this bitch and... now, ive changed my mind..."
Mono didn't say anything, but he knew the man was being honest
Mono patted Heisenberg's hand, but that was all, a silent "Its ok"
Heisenberg nodded, "Well I don't know where the hell you came from... but you can stay here. It's the safest part of the Factory."
From there, the pair kept one another company
Mono a silent but comfortable being and Karl keeping him from Miranda's gaze.
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hivequest · 3 years
Text
Taking a Risk » Mallek Adalov/Reader
Wordcount: 2.3k words
Warnings: Swearing, fluff, stressed out reader, chillboy Mallek. TYping quirk only used when texting cause I could not be bothered lmao Originally posted on AO3
A/N: One of my favorite things that I’ve written, ever. I love Mallek and he’s for sure one of my favorite Friendsim characters. When I wrote this I was really feeling those Quarantine Woes
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You didn't know what you were doing here. You felt out of place in the worst possible ways. It was a weird, squidgy feeling like stepping on wet grass. But not like the fun kind where you were running around in a sprinkler on a hot-as-balls summer day. No, this was the bad kind of wet grass that you stepped on without knowing it was wet. Why weren't you wearing shoes?
This analogy is stupid. The point is, you're feeling bummed out.
And what better way to not have to deal with that than hang out with someone you knew wouldn't push you into talking about all the ways crashing on this planet sucked! The point is, you're on your way to see Mallek. Mallek is absolutely the kind of friend who can tell when you just need to sit down and veg out. You had been so caught up in everyone else's bullshit that you weren't looking after your own damn self. So now you were doing that.
All it took was a quick text, asking Mallek if he had any company. He texted back only a moment later with a no, obviously not. You asked him if he wanted any. Not really. You ask him if you can come over anyway. Obviously.
You smiled at the palmhusk in your, well, palm. You could already feel the chill vibes of your hacker friend. Friend? Was that the right word for it? You didn't know anymore. When you first met there were definitely some sparks there. You could still feel them now and it made weird butterflies flutter around in your stomach. When you slapped his phone out of his hand and he sent you ass over applecart into the slimy depths of sewer water and he saved you, tits out and all.
You shook off the weird wistful feeling of maybe possibly crossing the friendship barrier and told him you'd walk to his hive. You'd been moping in some bookhive, not your usual hang-out spot with Tagora or Tyzias. This was some upper caste bookhive with purple bloods and some indigos and definitely not where you were welcome if the looks you were getting were any indication. They ranged from snooty to downright murderous. Yeesh.
Your phone -palmhusk, stupid troll names- beeped again. You got another text from him and those cheery fucking butterflies were back. God, you had it bad.
yeah were not doing that lmao;
im not going to let my robobuddy walk out in the sun
do you even know what time of day it =
just stay put ive already got your location ill pick you up;
And like a good little friendsimp. You park your ass on a chair and wait. You hadn't released your moping had taken up most of the night. But with the quick look around, yeah, no, this place was nearly empty by now. Just some older bluebloods trying to cram before their Ordeals and get shipped off-planet. Again: Yeesh.
You kept your ears open for the telltale sound of Mallek's limo. It was a sound you were getting used to these days. He always seemed ready to drop whatever coding shit he was working on to come to see you. You tried not to think too hard on what that might mean. No need to get your hopes up now. It's probably just your bad mood making you imagine some context where there's nothing. Yeah.
Damn, that shit hurted.
Just as you were about to add that to the reasons you were considering just screaming your lungs out who cares whose listening? you heard the wonderfully familiar sound of an approaching elongated scuttlebuggy. If that wasn't enough of a clue as to who the ride was for the quiet of the bookhive was very abruptly disturbed by a series of rhythmic beeps.
Holy shit was that the Tetris theme?
You shoved your palmhusk into your hoodie pocket and yanked the hood over your head. Even if the sun was only out a little bit you didn't want it anywhere near your freshly healed skin. You had no kind cowgirl to nurse you back to health right now if you got your asscheeks baked by the flaming death orb. You peeked your head out and even with the blinding light of Alternia's suns you could Mallek had opened the door and was waiting for you.
Aw. No, shit. You're in a bad mood don't get all heart eyes at him. Don't make it weird.
You took a few steps back into the bookhive, ready to make a run for it. You turn to a sitting indigoblood, who is just staring at you disdainfully for keeping the door open. You give her a two-fingered salute. Godspeed young cosmonaut. She gives you a one-fingered salute. Close the door you insufferable bulgebiter. Fair.
Taking a running start, you book it out into the heat of the Alternian sun and dive for the open car door. It's then that you realize he's halfway parked on the sidewalk to lessen the amount of time you'd have to spend in the sun. Aw. That also means that you came barreling like a cannonball at something that was like two feet out of the door. FUck.
Your face meets carpet and you can already feel the rugburn starting to set in. You hear a startled wheezy laugh from above you, a sound you know better than anyone else on this planet. You smile. It's not like you had any dignity to begin with.
You say hello to him as you peel yourself off of the floor of his car.
"Hey, there robobuddy. You stuck the landing this time," He smiles down at you as he reaches over you to shut the door, closing the space out from natural light and leaving you both lit by his colorful LEDs. You shrug and tell him you've been getting a lot of practice landing on your face these days. The look he gives you is still smiling but there's some level of disbelief at the dumbassery that is your whole existence.
"I know you can get yourself into it. Nothing too bad this time, though, right? No drones or broken bones?" He sounds concerned which is nice but he doesn't drown you with his concern. He leans back on the bench of his limo, keeping an eye on you as the vehicle begins to move on its own. You've been staying out of big messes but the little messes are starting to mess with you. He makes a sound of understanding the sounds as it comes from deep in his chest. Whoa. "Believe me, I've been there. Glad you're not cracking under it though."
He smiles and you can see his little fang and you can feel your heart melt a little. And also you're getting a bit teary-eyed and now Mallek looks alarmed. Shit. You try to quickly explain that you're fine, just, alien allergies am I right? He must be using some new air freshener to mask the musty smell of his limo. Since doesn't use it enough. Ha ha?
He isn't buying it.
With a rare show of cerulean prowess, he lifts you up off of the shitty car rug and sets you on the seat beside him. He feels uncomfortable and you can tell. Ah, goddammit you made it weird. You didn't mean to. Fuck. Fuck now you're feeling even worse. You thought you were starting to balance out. You're with Mallek now, shouldn't everything start to quiet down like it always does? Fuck. He doesn't say anything at first, just leans back against the seat and stretches his arms across it, letting you lean on him if you choose to.
...You choose to.
Your head finds itself somewhere between his shoulder and his collarbone, and you just. Shove your face there. Then scream.
To his credit, Mallek doesn't even flinch. He doesn't wince or shy away from you as you let out every bit of anger, sadness, and frustration out against his sweater. He just sits quietly, staring straight at the blacked-out windshield. You get the feeling he's needed to do this more than once.
Screw this planet. Screw everything about it that makes all of your friends suffer. Why can't you just get them away from all this bullshit?! Why do you have to deal with everyone's bullshit! You love them, you do but holy fuck they're looking to you like you can undo all the damage this place has done to them when you've got literally no god damn idea what's happening at any point ever!
And then, just like that, it fades into the background. Your throat hurts. Your head hurts and you think you might be crying. But it feels lighter. Better now that you've gotten some of that aggression out. You aren't like the trolls on Alternia. You can't kill people when you experience an Emotion™. But that doesn't mean you don't get pent up with rage.
Mallek realizes that now. He lets out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and his left hand slowly moves down from the back of the seat the rest against your back. His thumb brushes against your back, the claw drawing little patterns against the fabric of your sweater. His sweater. He tries not to think his sign your chest. This isn't the time.
"Feeling any better?" He asks and you don't know how to answer. You kinda don't want to. But you nod anyways, and you feel some tension leave his body. You knew he was worried about you. You apologize for making him witness your meltdown but he just makes another deep-chested hum. "Nothing to apologize for. I got the feeling you weren't feeling great. I could tell from the texts, you didn't use nearly enough ugly emojis."
You scoff and smack a hand against his chest and once again you hear that wonderful laugh from him. Hey! Your purrbeast emojis are adorable, thank you very much! And you'll not hear another word of it or else you'll send him pictures of rocks and rocks exclusively. No more memes.
"Jokes on you I'm into that shit." You laugh and thump your head against his collarbone. You thank him for being with you when were needed it. And picking you up to make sure you didn't deal with it alone. You don't want to make it weird but...yeah.
He doesn't respond this time, just letting you both enjoy the silence and the comforting sound of the engine. You should almost be at Mallek's apartment by now. It's as you're settling in for the last bit of the drive that you notice that the limo isn't moving. And hasn't been for a while. Your head pops up in confusion and the little GPS display on the back of one of the seats says... yep.
You're already at Mallek's.
But then why is the engine still on? That can't be good for the environment. Do these things even run on gas or is it bugs? Bug gas? Gross.
You notice then that the rumbling is coming from behind you. Like. From where Mallek is sitting. He doesn't look away when you turn to him, just kind of tilting his head to the side with a little bit of a cerulean hue to his cheeks. Oh. Oh, the sound is coming from him. He's purring. That's.
That's adorable.
You feel yourself soften even more when he lifts his arms, silently offering a hug if you want it. Is this platonic? Is this more? You've never had too much trouble identifying what people wanted from you. (Debatable.) If was overtly flushed you could shut it down or divert it to something very much friends only. (Like your every exchange with Zebruh.) But did you even want to do that to your hackerman? You could feel yourself screaming, no, absolutely not. But at the same time, you didn't want things to change. You didn't want to make his issues any worse than they already were. He didn't have too much longer on the planet and you knew it would tear him apart.
But then he turned those blue eyes to you. He looked just as unsure as you were but he was willing to take the risk. He shoved himself so far out of his comfort zone for you and was asking you to be selfish. To want something for yourself and do something for yourself. Not put him or anyone else's wants first. Just your own. And so you did.
You crawled up into his lap, pressed yourself as close to him as you could and clung to him. His arms didn't hesitate to wrap around you and you could feel a shuddering breath from above you.
"We don't have to put a label on this... not yet. Or ever. Either way is chill with me. I just... yeah." He gave up with a little shrug of his shoulders but you knew what he meant. Unless you could find a way to fight fate he was going to go off-world. He was going to leave you and you doubted you'd be able to go with him. You'd probably get gored by a drone for even trying.
But even if it was just for now, just for a moment, you were going to take it. You were going to let yourself have something, have someone who would care for you no matter how long or short your time was. You'd take it. You had stomached some of the most horrible things on this planet but Mallek had always been a constant. And you got the feeling he thought the same way about you.
So, you'd take it. Whatever comes next, you'd take it. You listened to the sound of his purring, in no hurry to move to get inside the apartment. Mallek felt the same.
You exhaled.
You would be okay.
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