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#because I dont have any sense of self-control
maverick-creator · 2 months
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*Drops this and leaves in a hurry*
Edit: Came back to make everything more:
"Pretty"
The Photographer - The Athlete
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The Engenier - The Master Plan
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The Free Spirit - The Battle Spirit
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The Freelancer - The Money Maker
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The Outlaw - The Idol
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The Troublemaker - The Revolutionary
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The New Blood - The Old Captain
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The Princess - The Hero
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fuzzbuns · 13 days
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Arlecchino discourse is really awkward because both sides are so convinced they are right and that the other side just lacks media literacy but 9 times out of 10 the take in question is also wrong and it leaves me scratching my head a little bit….
#fuzzy rambles#like either they are like ‘no she is bad and doesnt care for the kids at all’ or its ‘she is good actually and does care for the kids’#and for me its like… damn…. its actually a little more complicated than that but ok ig#saw someone say she doesnt care for freminet or lynette she just uses them as pawns for lyney to be her heir#which is so incorrect on almost every level#it’s basically a self report that they dont know freminet or lynettes relationship with arlecchino#like i think we can agree raising child solider is problematic or whatever while not painting everything she does as master manipulation#like the things ppl claim are just her 5000 level iq manipulation… rolling my eyes it doesnt even make sense#but at the same time she obviously isnt a saint who has everyones best interests in mind because they are still childe soliders#even tho things got better when she took control there is still a lot of cultish and cruel behaviors the kids get drilled into them#tho honestly the whole fatui is like that look at any of the recurits who arent from the orphanage and they are equally brainwashed#if not us than who or whatever (girl who thinks about what happened in the chasm and want to eat drywall)#idk. dont yall have parents? like u can love and care for a child and still suck as a parent#you can try to not become ur abusive mother and still turn into a monster of sorts#ignore the childe instead of child its literally muscle memory how embarrassing
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pepprs · 1 year
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#to translate this post: someone liked this post i made (on the upper left) on AUGUST 28 having a moment of self awareness that i was running#away from my whole life and not moving or learni ng to drive or anything. it is now march 8. it has been almost 7 months. and i have made#basically zero progress. and there is nothing stopping me but me. i could read the drivers manual and whatever whenever i want. but i am not#doing anything. and i don’t know how to get myself to start.#purrs#i know it’s a cop out excuse but i truly do think it’s covid. i think being in lockdown for a year and a half made me just let go of any#sense of progress. made me scared to take steps forward. and i mean i did bc i lived on campus for a while after that but it’s like.. EVERY#part of my life is stagnant rn it seems. and it’s not just me it’s my siblings too. we’re all getting older but none of us is trying to move#out or gain our independence in any way and my brother isn’t even looking for jobs even though he needs one. we’re all just getting older#but we’ve lost (or maybe had knocked out of us by covid and our mom being so strict) any sense of moving ipward and spreading our wings.#forgotten we have wings at all. and ive done important things like going on a house tour or traveling with my besties (<3). but i have only#made it to page 8 of the drivers manual and i truly do not want to read the rest of it. i have only been on one house tour and im longing to#move out but how much am i really because i can’t bring myself to schedule another tour and start searching for a new home in earnest.#i just come home every day UTTERLY exhausted and spend all my free time trying to process or rest. and im not making room for myself to use#my wings. and it’s truly terrible. why are we all okay with living like this. my younger self would be HORRIFIED if she saw how much i had a#atrophied since graduating and moving back home. my brighton self would be HORRIFIED. i told myself i wouldn’t and then it’s exactly what i#did. and ik im being harsh and ive spread my wings in some important ways during this time but… these are so obvious. such low hanging#fruit in some ways. bc any 16 year old can take this test and pass it so why can’t i at 24? why won’t i let myself? dont i want a nice cozy#home i make my own where i can eat what i want and sleep when i want and have control over sounds? then why am i not running for it?#delete later#i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth i am wasting my youth 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑 my one precious life 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃#also LMFAOOOOO the next tag on that aug 28 post was that i need to get a new campus id card… guess who hasn’t done that either ♥️
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etherealkissed88 · 2 months
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you are always embodying a version of you 🍭
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“ive been feeling stuck for 2 years” -> embodying that state
“its not gonna manifest” -> embodying that state
“she still didnt text me back” -> embodying that state
when you assume its nothing is changing, you are simply embodying that version of you who believes that. you are always embodying a version of you out of the infinite versions of you that already exist.
there is no “original” state or “realer” state. even if the state is expressed in the imaginary 3d, it is not “realer” than any other state. we know the 3d is neutral and doesnt mean anything so giving value to something in the 3d makes no sense.
remember that you are the self that occupies states. these states mean nothing without you. states are useless bubbles without you embodying/occupying it. even when you embody them they are nothing bc you always assign meaning.
next time you feel like youre “stuck”, know its all just a state and theres nothing to be afraid of. states are below you, states need you, you (self) dont need states. you are beyond these “im stuck” states. there is no “struggle,” there is only states being embodied. you can simply embody another state (regardless of the 3d). be the desired version of you.
when you feel stuck:
know its only a state, you are always embodying a state (so theres nothing to be afraid of bc its just a state) and identify the state you are currently embodying that doesnt serve you
embody a different, better state via deciding or techniques + fulfill
its so simple. it seems harder because you think what the human self is experiencing in the 3d is the “real” thing when in reality, none of it is real (bc everything is neutral) and you choose what to experience and you are instantly any version if you that you choose.
the funny thing is that while you search for answers “outside” of you, the solution is literally the version of you you are embodying. you are the problem and solution. you see how you always have full control even when you dont realize it? something that helps me is: if i was this desired version of me, would i care about (blah blah)? that helps me embody a more beneficial state.
once you embody a version of you, its done. its already yours. creation is finished yes? remember how i said there are always infinite versions of you? exactly. you arent creating anything, you are only being. so once you become a version of you, everything changes and that is who you are. there is nothing else to do but know its done bc it is. stop falling into the “im stuck” loop and know that is only what youre embodying.
be sexy and change states 💋🍫
kisses, jani ☆
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You could drink your whole life away and still never get that taste out of your mouth.
half commission for @salempie half completely self indulgent dreck pieced together from our insane conversations abt franke and elka. told myself id finally write a big explanation for all of the dum shit between these two for context so Thats Under The Cut.
so I already wrote some stuff about elka and franke's relationship back in whispering rock so feel free to look at that too . it goes over elkas blindness/‘seeing’ with clairvoyance and how her and franke started talking & all that good stuff
SO FOR STARTERS. a lot of thsi wont make sense without a big breakdown of elka herself. because elkas potential as a character is like insane to me. like just the idea of her in the long run of her life reads as something so potentially tragic; a young girl whos plagued with visions of doom and destined to be an outcast even in her own home for things she cant control and clings to the One vision of her wedding that she thinks is 'happy' even despite the fact she doesnt really love the person in it. im choosing to take the li-po doc as canon here because its funny shes the only one with backstory-
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but my fucking god even the smallest look into what her parents are like is soo fucked up to me. and i do think elka especially gets a lot of influence from her mother; its funny how easily you can fit mabel doom into a box just from what elka says about her. knees deep in an avon-esque pyramid scheme and leaning into her daughters depressing ass visions & taking her to therapy at age 11 (which would be good if not for the kind of person you can already assume she is & so i doubt the therapist she has really does her any good. i think they share one). she reads as a very I Am My Daughters Best Friend type of mom to me and i can see elka being a centerpiece of the conversation when she has her Amway Girls over for drinks. wine-mom that lets her kid sip from the glass so she can feel like a big girl type deal.
and you can tell that elka is trying to hard to be too mature for her age even in her campster posts. how she writes letters to nils' mom and exchanges baking recipes with her and that feels like she really only interacts with middle aged women and not really many people her own age outside of camp (like her moms friends). which makes sense shed feel the need to ‘grow up’ early when shes probably had to process so many hard things at a young age bc of her visions.
theres a lot of filling the blanks here of course.
elka obsesses over nils to an overbearing degree even despite the fact he treats her like shit ('you promised no talking' and so on) and she treats him bad right back. she leans onto stereotypical heterosexual ideals like taking care of him and overblowing how Manly and Protective JT is and she admires romance stories like pride and prejudice and it feels like she Projects Soooooooo much of what she wants onto boys she barely feels anything for without knowing what its actually supposed to feel like. and clearly she WANTS that ideal future, a happy marriage, an actual romance- but according to nils even when they were dating she ignored him most of the time, which just seems Very Telling
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like shes filling a role, overcompensating for emotions and lacktherof she cant digest quite yet, and it only makes more sense when you know shes had visions of their future together. how could that be bad for her? shouldnt it be like the books and movies? but she doesnt really connect the fact that her visions are only for Doomed futures, and if she does she certainly doesnt show it. Doomed relationships. it's been a part of her family for generations and she isn't turning out much different, is she? i dont think she even realizes thats all she ever sees yet, just that its Going to happen. that it's Her future, and it always will be
and like, her only reference for a real marriage so far has been her own parents, and she already Knows they have an affair, and theyre doomed to split, (and i actually like to think they were in rough waters anyway and elka was a child meant to mend a crumbling marriage but thats a whole other thing) and so without a framework for what an actual healthy relationship is supposed to be like she cant really grasp that her relationship with nils Isnt that and isnt ever going to be. she can only cling to this one happy idea of the future, and thats why she keeps chasing him, self fulfilling the actuality of her situation and creating and fostering the unhappy life they will inevitably live together.
and that bleeds into everything else in her life, of course, because as the years go on, as the visions grow in number it just makes sense for her to fall into the predictability of her life. she always knows whats going to happen, her visions are Never wrong- so why try to change things? shes had time to process tragedies days, weeks, months, years before they happen, shes had time to settle into every crack of her life. her parents divorce, her various break ups, her future with the psychonauts.
“and she's already seen so much of a future with [nils] she feels trapped almost. Like she has to be happy in it or else it just means her life is miserable. And it's a mixture of pride and fear of the unknown that keeps her clinging to the One thing she knows. BUT LIKE!!! She knows what's gonna happen! It's easier to grieve when she's been grieving for years... She wants so badly to be happy, But to do that she has to step into the unfamiliar. And that's more terrifying than staying the same miserable person she's always been.”
and thats where franke comes in— and yeah you Do have to take a lot of liberties for frankes character since it’s basically, like, all the info for her is just that shes a Supreme Baby Dyke but thats enough for me. i think she has protective butch itch in her . on campster shes defensive over other women evidenced in the way she keeps watch over the girls cabins for lili when elton is pursuing her . but shes also eager to please and constantly trying to make kitty laugh and also Very naive. but she tries! and i think it only solidifies more as she gets Older and really gets a hold of her feelings & her powers. this is incredibly franke to me
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and i think as they grow older together— because i think franke and elka Do stay friends, both because elka is just pathetic and needs that positive connection even if she doesnt realize it and because i think franke is a very Loyal person & annoyingly persistent if you let her be . and i am also a kitty/franke truther. because kittys also important in this web we weave
because i think franke and kitty stay together after camp, to a point— theres a falling out facilitated on kittys end and they break up, but reconnect, and franke kind of... saves kitty from herself a little, from her strict military father whos love only extends thru finances , from her own stifling future , she drives all the way to bakersville in her shitty van handmedowned from her dad and they move in together eventually . they get jobs at the motherlobe , because it’s a pipeline to a decent job, because it’s whats easy, because franke doesn’t really have a future, because she’s never really been good at much, because shes never had much sense, because franke doesnt really care as long as she can live and help, sometimes, if she can, and because kitty’s there, and because elka’s there, and shes so used to being elkas eyes now and shes good at it. shes good at being the muscle of the missions when her colleagues lack it, when hypnosis and predictions arent enough. she likes it that way.
and elka appreciates frankes company. she listens, shes sweet, she does little things for her that no ones ever really put the effort for before; she likes her. franke is strong and bold and makes her laugh and shes always there but god elka cant let go of that future, of that box shes put herself in, that her mothers put her in, of being a Good Wife to a Loving Husband, of getting married normally and falling into unfailing familiarity. thats all shes ever wanted and shes not going to jeopardize that . not for franke, who may not be a boy but is handsome like one, whos always held her after every break up with nils and the men that filled empty days inbetween.
and elka is too stubborn to recognize those feelings anyway. too prideful to accept a way out. too set in her cycle no matter how much she hates it, her little self fulfilling tragedy of her own making, wallowing in her own doom. she struggles for control of her own life when she feels like every choice has been made for her anyway, she puts up her walls and carefully constructs what people see. but franke was always harder to trick, because while empathy isnt a particularly useful psychic power it’s certainly an inconvenient one. all franke has to do is get too close and all those carefully crafted walls fall apart, and elkas control is gone, and thats all she really has. and she tries to distance herself, really she does, but franke is also too persistent. and elka wears gloves, keeps contact that would make her walls crumble from happening as best as she can, but she cant really keep herself from the brief moments where she feels like someone actually fucking cares about her.
and that slightest lack of control, the need to wrestle it back is why she proposes to nils the next time theres a falling out— she knows how it happens, she plans every detail. and he accepts, despite everything. gets her a cheap ring and it feels like lead on her finger and its nothing at all like how shed thought it to be when she was a kid, theres no feather light feeling in her chest, only that dreadful reality that she cant turn this back. BUT WHAT CAN U DO LMAO
elka doesnt tell franke about this engagement until later, on their way back from a mission. late at night when neither of them can sleep, and franke invites elka to smoke in her van, because its been so long since theyve been alone like that, because elkas been so strangely absent lately. and because of everything, because frankes always so damn nice, because elka hates the feel of the ring on her finger, because she let herself get high alone with franke fucking athens whos always been so good at pulling her apart— the truth of it all spills out and its messy and emotional and she hates it, she hates the life shes made for herself, but franke makes it easier to bare and now shes here and shes so close and god she wishes she could see her smile again, she wishes she could see franke, thats all she needs right now and she cant but she can touch her and she can hold her and for tonight, she can be known, she can let those walls crumble, she can be something else just for once here with franke . she can kiss her here in this van, touch that happiness for just a moment, and forget the future that waits for her outside of it. franke begs her to forget the wedding, to just let herself be happy— and god, she wants to, but it means turning her back on everything shes known and everything shes saw to be inevitable, and franke has never been in her future, so if it were supposed to work out why hadnt she seen it and she cant, she cant take that risk but she can have this, even if its temporary, she can have it.
and just as soon as she gets a taste of it, its gone. after that night, after the missions over and theyre back at the motherlobe and have to pretend like nothing happened (franke doesnt, of course she tells kitty about it, she tells kitty about everything.) but that brief moment together haunts elka every time she sees franke, sees herself through frankes eyes, sees herself in her wedding dress because god its all franke can think about! of course it is! she knows how much elkas destroying herself she knows how much misery shes wallowing in that kiss in the van felt like an emotional punch to the teeth and she hasnt ever forgotten it and all she can do is sit and watch while elka throws herself into a loveless marriage. she can come to her wedding and see the way the bride and groom kiss with the emotional weight of a wet towel no matter how hard elka tries to hide it under a pretty dress and bouquets of flowers and meticulous planning.
and elka resents nils but she cant really hate him, its not his fault, not really. he feels trapped just like she does and his feelings of misery only cycle back into hers . they fight and gnash and wear away at each other and its a relationship thats crashed and burned a million times before elka even said i do. and its inevitable that she falls into her mothers habits, a sip of wine here and there to loosen up, until it turns to a glass, until it falls into a bottle on nights when whatever work nils does runs late.
but franke’s still there. shes always been there, hasn’t she? always trying to play knight, always trying to save her, dragging her home when shes stumbling over herself because god who else is going to do it but her? who else is left to care? certainly not nils. never nils. because franke knows her. because franke pities her. shes always pitied her. shes always known. and elka hates it, she resents it, but god in the same breath she’s desperate for it, she envies it to her very bones. elka is a mess but after frankes done with her she has someone to go back to that loves her. and god what elka wouldnt do to have that. to take it and keep it for herself because shes never ever got to have that movie romance shes always wanted.
so now comes this.
because elkas particularly miserable and particularly spiteful and she needs to get franke to understand, just for a moment, drink with her and get on her level and she needs her there with her no matter how her pity makes her feel. no matter how much it makes her shake with anger and envy and desperation, but god the way franke looks at her, the way she still tries to salvage what they have, the soft, slurred way she tells her that it’s okay but its not okay, none of this is okay, it never has been and she just wants franke to shut up and see that, and if she cant then she’ll show her, she’ll show her all the raw angry desperation, with too much teeth and hands that claw and grab and she’ll know why everyones always said she’s too much.
and she knows this puts her on nils’ level too. that this makes her a cheater, that shes no better than he is now. no better than her father and his affair. but god, she wants to be selfish. she wants to be in control. just for once. she wants to feel right and she wants to feel happy and she wants to feel loved. thats all shes ever wanted. and franke will let her have that, just for a little while, at the very least.
anyway. sorry. sorry for being crazy . this isnt even getting into the shit after the comic takes place . elkas stupid brainworld thag she has to overcome in order to finally be allowed in the polycule and live happily ever as worlds first lesbian divorceman
sorry for all the shit i make up instead of caring about actual characters with screentime . bye !
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scp230kinnie · 1 year
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Hcs for the titans mcs pls (Dick, Gar, Rachel, & Kori)
Lowkey gonna marry whoever sent this 😜
TITANS RELATIONSHIP HEADCANONS
I assume you meant relationship, so here’s that
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Characters: Dick Grayson, Rachel Roth, Gar Logan, Jason Todd, and Koriand’r
Genre: fluff 😜 relationship hcs
Warnings: SPOILERS ⚠️ mentions of death & injury. Slightly suggestive. None of the characters mentioned are mine, all Headcanons are made up by me, not canon whatsoever. Everything said/mentioned is fictional.
On with the fic
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Dick Grayson
He a baddie
He tries actually so hard to keep you out of danger
I feel like he would try to hide the whole titans thing from you if you didn’t know about it, but realistically finding out would be inevitable
He can always tell when you’re lying. It’s like a sixth sense to him
As a matter of fact, he can tell when anyone lies to him
He probably likes it when you help patch him up after a fight (not that he would admit it)
If you’re expecting a man who’s open about anything (his past, etc) you have another thing coming
It would take a lot for him to actually open up
Even if he does open up, he doesn’t like telling you much about his time with Bruce.
Dont bring it up either lol
Man is so touch deprived omggg
It’s not exactly that he never got it, it’s more that he never wanted it
He would like flinch if you ever touched him, but he would get used to it
He has a fat ass I wanna slap it
If you do that, he’s probably gonna slap yours back
No PDA. Holding hands at the MOST. Unless you’re upset or hurt, then he’ll give you a quick hug or something
He likes to stay serious generally, but sometimes he’ll be silly and it’s so cute ong
He wants you to stay away from the crime fighting scene.
He even gets scared for your health in case one of his enemies decides to go for you
He would try to teach you some self defence
If you are a crime fighter, he helps you train, and stays close to you on missions if he can
His favourite part of your body is your face. He loves looking into your eyes or kissing your lips or cheeks
Next ��
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Rachel Roth
She’s probably so sweet and understanding
You are always her main priority
All she ever wants is to keep you safe
Sometimes, she gets very distant because she can’t control her abilities and she doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you
If you didn’t already know the titans, she would absolutely introduce you to them as soon as she can
She can’t help but smile when she looks at you
She gives you her clothes if you want <3
She’d only open up after a while, it wouldn’t take too long, but she would still be a little distant
She loves being close to you and like hugging you or holding hands
Very up for PDA
No making out or anything, but will hug you and hold your hand in public
She just thinks you’re the most interesting person ever
She remembers every word you tell her
She would probably get matching piercings with you omgggg
She loves painting your nails to match hers
Like Dick, she can also tell when you’re lying. (But that’s just a side effect from her abilities)
She always posts pictures or videos of you on her social media if she has any
Will always offer you an earbud if she’s listening to music, will be very happy if you do the same
She loves learning about what music you listen to
Loves getting matching anything (hoodies, rings, even online profile pictures)
Her favourite part of you is your eyes or your hands
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Garfield Logan
When he sees you’re upset, he will say the worst jokes he can think of to make you laugh
Even when you’re not upset he does that anyway
He just loves hearing your laugh or seeing your smile
He thinks it’s the cutest thing ever
Absolutely LOVES playing video games with you
It’s literally his favourite thing in the world
If he notices you’re cold, he might give you his jacket for a bit
Will defo turn into your favourite animal for you
Especially if it’s a dog or a cat so he can cuddle with you
Opens up so fast tbh
It’s good tho that means he trusts you
Little spoon fosho 😜😜😜
He loves holding or touching you in some way
Loves PDA sm
Just loves proving you’re his
The titans probably knew about you the first day he saw you💀
He’d get you guys matching white shoes and get sharpies to Color them together <3
Would draw a wiener somewhere on em tho
PAINT HIS NAILS
He would make you do some stupid ahh tiktok dances with him
Would give you some stupid nicknames
His favourite thing about you is 100% your hair. He would absolutely adore touching it/playing with it, no matter the length
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Jason Todd
He a little cute patootie
IDC WHAT HES DONE
Everyone he talks to knows about you tbh
He’s just so proud of you
He makes so many sexual jokes it’s wild
Also always grabs your ass 😢
Gives you some cringe nickname
He doesn’t like opening up, I can understand that
He prefers hearing you talk, rather than him
Would protect you with his mf life
Also would teach you to fight
He wants to know that you can protect yourself when he’s not there
Adores it when you clean his wounds or rub his shoulders after fights
He’s pretty secretive but would probably break down one day and tell you everything
Would definitely give you his hoodies/sweaters
Into PDA
He just likes to prove to everyone that you’re his tho
Loves to hold you
His face part of you is ur nose
Easy to kiss
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Koriand’r
She’s gorgeous my wife
She seems more stoic, but she really cares about you, more than anything
She loves to talk shit with you tbh
Only abt people who deserve it ofc
She loves when you make her laugh, it makes her feel more comfortable with you
Matching jewelry 🔛🔝
Loves it when you play with her hair
She can’t really use words to express how she feels about you, prefers to use her actions instead
She doesn’t want you to think differently of her because she is a princess or whatever
She’s had plenty of past lovers, but she knows you’re her favourite
She’ll take a while to open up, but she will eventually
Doesn’t do PDA
Or very much physical affection as it is
Will still hug you tho <3
Like everyone else, she will do everything she can to protect you and make sure you don’t get hurt
Will k word anyone who looks at you the wrong way
She’s very protective
And kinda jealous
She loves every part of you lowkey
The end guys idk what else to write
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itgomyway · 8 months
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there is nothing to do, there’s nothing but you 🍥
i keep seeing people relate non dualism back to cause and effect. you do “x” to get “y”. how am i suppose to get this. how am i suppose to be aware of that. how am i suppose to be. and im afraid you got non dualism all wrong. because its just you.
everything is consciousness. you are consciousness. that is it. thats all. theres no physical world theres no imagination theres no 3d theres no 4d theres no infinite realities, there is no getting, there is no pleasure, there is no pain. it is just you.
that not making any sense? that’s okay. its not going to. you already know this. as consciousness being and everything you are knowledge itself. any concept of source or learning comes directly from you. your “self” already knows this. its your ego, the false sense of “self” getting in the way. its just you.
so then how do things exist? like time, what you see, money, other people, food, desires? they dont. theyre not real. none of that is real. why? because only consciousness is real. they appear to exist “physically” because you are aware of them presenting that way. its just you.
meaning doesn’t come first. you come first. you are the only thing that exist. and as existence you give existing things its meaning after they come to your awareness.
whatever you are aware of is what the human body experiences because you are a being of consciousness experiencing the human condition. you are not human though, you are consciousness. consciousness is the only thing that exist therefore its the only real thing. its just you.
this is why there is no separation. you as the conscious observer experiencing the human condition are conditioned into believing whatever the body experiences (your 5 senses) is real. its not. you are more than the body. you have control over what you experience due to your awareness. its just you
understanding that you are not actually human you are a being of consciousness playing the game known as life, you can transcend needing to feel validated by what you experience physically. the “3d” doesnt validate at all. its what i am most used to but as consciousness i know what i am. its just u
now let me be clear. the 3d doesnt exist validate me because i am a being of consciousness. however my ego, the false sense of self where my thoughts doubts and fears reside does get validation from “physical experiences” it doesn’t understand its not just experiencing it physically. the ego, like ur inner child, cannot comprehend that its not actually human, in control, or real. as soon as it tries, the human condition jumps in and brings up the thoughts doubts and fears. thats okay because thats its job. your job as the observer is to not react because you know its just you
the ego may be scared of rejection and thats fine. the ego isnt in control so let it throw its temper tantrum. let it cry, scream and shout. you would also let it be happy and carefree right? why is one emotion worse than the other if neither are real in the first place? its just you
with all of this, the main point is that it is you. thats all there is. nothing to understand because you already know you exist. nothing to get because you’re everything. nothing to “try” to be because you already are. its just you.
“how do i get-“
“how do i experience-”
“how do i become-“
“how do i be?“
its just you. you are. you got it you experienced it you became it so now be it. congratulations! its done!
© itgomyway
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bonny-kookoo · 1 year
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Jungkook
W.D.Y.W.F.M (Teaser)
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Jungkook could've adopted anybody else, really. He's gotten to know a lot of hybrids left and right during his time at the carecenter and foster homes- low maintenance ones, friendly ones, ones that are easy to be around. So why would he want you?
Tags/Warnings: Idol!Jungkook, Hybrid!Reader, Fox Hybrid!Reader, mentions of trauma, Reader isn't cute & cuddly in this at all, manhandling (not the spicy kind), sort of brat-tamer Jungkook but not in the kinky way if that makes sense? More TBA
A/N: so many were upset I'm not writing any more hybrid jk stories so yum yum the appetizer is served hope you're hungry
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"She refused to eat dinner after you left." The careworker tells him as he puts his bag down, and Jungkook lowers his brows in confusion.
"Why?" He wonders, unsure. You're not very attached to him, rarely interact openly with anybody let alone him- and he's realized it might simply be because you don't like him and his rather bubbly personality that much.
"I think it might be self-punishment for what happened yesterday." She sighs, pointing to the large bandaid covering his biceps- your scratch no longer hurting at all, the cover just on it for hygiene's sake. "She feels guilty."
"But it wasn't her fault?" He asks, not sure why you'd take the blame for things so far out of your control. "I knew what I'd potentially get myself into when I offered to bring her back inside- and she didn'tget me that bad anyways." He shrugs, and the worker nods.
"Well, she certainly doesn't see it that way." She says, giving Jungkook his name tag and vest so he can start his last week, cameras at this point no longer really filming much since they've got plenty of content to work with. "You did great, honestly- handled her really well, but she might feel embarrassed now that youve witnessed her outbursts on yourself rather than just from afar." She explains, and he sighs to himself. He instantly searches for you amongst the hybrids, greeting almost everyone fleetingly as his eyes scan the environment.
He spots you sitting in a corner, observing rather than joining in- just like you always do.
"Hey-" he carefully squats down a respectful distance away from you, casually patting his bandaid once he spots you staring at it. "-all by yourself again?" He wonders, and you just shrug.
You dont answer him, crossing your arms instead.
"Heard you skipped dinner yesterday." He asks casually, sitting down now to engage in conversation. He knows that you get antsy when confronted like this- but you have to learn somehow. Everyone just wrapping you in cotton won't help you long term.
"Wasn't hungry." You mumble, avoiding eye contact. Why does he have to talk to you? This is stupid.
"Lie." He chuckles. "You were talking about how much you liked chicken to me yesterday." He calls you out, and you just pull your knees closer to yourself, tail wrapping around them as well. "You didn't hurt me much at all, you know?" He offers softly after some time of just observing you.
"...still." You argue quietly, shaking your head. "Yumi is looking-"
"But I'm talking to you right now." Jungkook disagrees amused, keeping his attention on you. "You're not a bad person." He tells you, and you grow angry suddenly. Not at him- but at yourself, because why are you such a crybaby that you're crying about a simple sentence like that? He probably doesn't even mean it, he just says it for his stupid media-stunt he's pulling. "You wanna go eat breakfast with me?" He wonders, and you shake your head. "Too bad." He chuckles, reaching out his hand to touch your wrist, simply tapping his fingers against it. "Come on, up up, I'm hungry." He says, getting up-
But you don't follow.
"I don't want to." You deny, and he sighs, leaving you be. It's fine like this- you don't need him to play some sort of Savior for you, not at all. He can show off his kindness to his fan base or whatever, you don't really care at all. He's living his life, while you'll live yours- no matter how bland it might be.
A bowl is placed at your feet, another plate with a lot of food placed down as well. "Didn't know what you wanted so-" he explains, before sitting down again in front of you. "-I just got whatever I myself eat." He shrugs casually, starting to grab the first bite.
"Your microphone isn't on." You comment, pointing to the front of his shirt where it would typically sit.
"I know." He simply answers nonchalantly, continuing to eat. You start to lift your hand to bite at your fingers, and he reaches out without fear to gently pull your wrist away from your face, before pointing to the food. "Eat. Or do you want something else?" He wonders, but you shake your head.
You are hungry.
"...'m sorry." You tell him with a crack in your voice, and he nods at you with a smile.
"I know." He answers truthfully, reaching out to tap one of your droopy ears. "But you don't have to be." He shrugs, unknowingly surprising a careworker watching from the sidelines. You're pretty jumpy with contact- you hate fast movements, loud noises, sudden things you're not prepared for. He himself notices as well- the way you flinch on instinct as he reaches out to you.
But you don't immediately try and defend yourself against him, and that's new.
Jungkook has, up until this point, simply never given you any reason to fear him. He's not very careful, very fidgety, and a little loud whenever he gets excited- but he's also gentle, and doesn't hold any bad intentions.
Though that doesn't mean that you trust him- at least not yet.
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danibeanie · 2 months
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Cancer mars post 🤍
(Also moon-mars aspects!)
-I really feel like this placement resonates the most with me when it comes to my natal chart. The funny thing is that it makes NO aspects with any other planets.
-I’ve heard somewhere that a planet that doesn’t make any aspects with other planets is important because it’s just itself with no other influences.
-wherever you have this placement with definitely influence that house x10. I feel like planets in their fall or detriment just impact your whole chart in general.
Positives 🩵
-your intuition is literally amped 100 by this placement. someone can be talking to me in a different tone than usual and I can just sense there’s something wrong and they’re like HOW DID U KNOW??😭
-emotions are strong and it’s because it’s influence links with the moon. we know that the moon is who we are deep within, our hidden feelings. anything I do makes me want to work even HARDER because it’s all sooo personal to me 🥲
-strong empathy with this placement you naturally put yourself into others people shoes, want to take care of others and it just comes by instinct.
-people many call you super nice and your just talking LMAO. I have this placement in my 3rd house which is ruled by communication so it’s just natural for me to embody the placement when I’m talk.
-ex you can have this in the 7th house and your just super giving into any relationships kinda intense lol, 10th house people at work may see you as mother😋 (kidding) a nurturing person.
-a lot of passion, many people forget that cancer mars is a CARDINAL sign which means it’s easy for these people to fall into a leader position. we are go getters and can be a bit competitive.
Negatives🩶
-any conflict that we have is literally the end of the world. It’s feels like impending doom when I’m mad at someone because the only way I can control this is by crying 😭
- we hold grudges *sigh* , no but really it will take me so long to forgive someone and it’s hard to let go of that bitterness. Its just that we are so considerate so when someone does something we would never do it’s hard to let go of that situation.
-mood swings are there and other people can easily get affected by this as well. we can be fine and dandy then we think about something that hurt us from 5 months ago and then we get passive.
^im very self aware of this and I try not to let it happen and when it does I isolate myself
-most of our anger is directed towards family???😭 idk if it’s just me but my family tends to see the ugly side of this placement. no one’s ever seen me SUPER-mad except for my parents.
-does anyone else get HORRIBLE,UNBEARABLE periods?!? I feel like no one talks about this.
-AVOID CONFRONTATION like no other and then we wonder why we hold grudges cause WE DONT TALK IT OUT LMAO.
-it’s easy to get drained of tasks that your not emotionally invested in or see no future in. I can make a whole rant on how this affects my school life but that’s too much.*sigh*
Influential musicians 🩵
chester bennington(lead singer of linkin park) also had a cancer mars.(may he rest in peace🤍) A lot of rock and heavy metal musicians have cancer mars which is ironic because they put all that passion and emotion into their lyrics and singing.
-lana del rey is a cancer mars and I feel like she embodies this placement fully. even by her lyrics and just the way she talks.
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IN CONCLUSION 🩵
-being a cancer mars has its ups and down and so many people pertain to its negatives. I believe that people with the fallen/detriment placements all naturally have their positives as well. it’s definitely a placement you have to live and learn by. I love this placement because it humbles me, gives me empathy and kindness ,but don’t cross us cause then we’ll reciprocate that rudeness 10x harder.
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heraxic · 2 months
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re8 as classical music
badly explained cause its 2am and i dont know musical terms.
Btw if anyone has any notes or other songs that would fit them id love to see it-
Ethan: Tchaikovsky - Marche Slave
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Slow start, Ethan is unknowingly ensnared in a trap. As he realizes the danger Rose (and himself) are in the song becomes tragic and determined. Fastpaced strings, frantic beats —like prey escaping from predator— keeps escalating into something more and more insurmountable. A hopeful jingle is heard as Ethan finds out he can still save his daughter. A heroic theme plays as he overcomes the horrors despite it all (a sense of control over the situation is marked by highpitched anxious flutes superimposed by a deep stable horn). Then comes the first faceoff with Miranda who taunts him and Ethan’s tragic hero theme comes to a grinding halt as his heart gets pulled out of his chest. The drums pick up again and the little soldier is off to his final battle.
Mia: Claude Debussy - Clair De Lune
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Sadly the real Mia doesn’t appear much. In the Winters home, Ethan writes that Mia doesn’t want to talk about what they went through in Louisiana, which leaves him with a lot of questions unanswered. In the flashback where she desperately tries reaching out saying ‘𝘺𝘰𝘶 matter’, she still can’t help keeping secrets- maybe out of fear that Ethan wouldn’t let it go (being extremely persistent) and they’d never return to normal. The song is heartbreaking and sad as she struggles coming to terms with the guilt and grief over what she’s done and what the one she loves went through because of it. On a last somber note, her child, who takes after her father both in looks and unresolved powers, is all she has left.
Rose: Saint-Saëns - Le Cygne
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A little girl whos only ever known unconditional, all encompassing love. Even before her birth, it was known that her life would be full of uncertainty. Though stolen away for possessing powers she’s not even aware of yet, she continues to live and provide a beacon of hope for her family.
Chris: Richard Wagner - Ride of the Valkyries
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Comes in the dead of night and rains hell on the Winters home. In his eyes, he’s doing the right thing, but has made himself the villain to the one he was trying to protect (victorious trumpets superimposed by high fearful strings). The transport gets intercepted by Miranda and the music falls. Once Chris finally explains himself to Ethan they’re allowed a brief bit of victory (steadier horn) as their combined efforts take down Miranda’s last line of defense (Heisenberg). In the end, Chris has to live with the victory of taking down the megamycete, the guilt and grief over Ethan’s death/sacrifice, and the troubling news from BSAA. A tainted victory.
Alcina: Tchaikovsky - Swan Lake
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Appears first as a noble elegant socialite. She’s at the height of her power, owns a castle and three daughters and believes herself to be Miranda’s favorite. It’s business as usual, calm serene music. Suddenly an outsider has made his way into her home, killing her daughters one by one. She reaches out to Miranda, who only cares about the stupid ceremony, and realizes everything she knew was a lie. Anger and frustration builds. The music deepens, falls and rises again as she transforms, tries taking revenge on Ethan and fails, having lost everything in one evening.
Bela, Cassandra, Daniela: Rimsky Korsakov - Flight of the Bumblebee
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Self explanatory. Hurried, manic and playful.
Donna: Tchaikovsky - Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy
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Entrancing but with eerie insidious undertones. Fitting for the childlike dollmaker and her little porcelain friends. Ends with a fast and chilling theme for the twisted game of hide and seek
Moreau: Edvard Grieg - Hall of the Mountain King
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Quiet, lumbering and slow. Ethan takes the Rose flask back easily; threatened with losing Mother Miranda it very quickly escalates as panic sets in and Moreau throws everything he has at him. The music swells and ends with a bang.
Karl: Aram Khachaturian - Masquerade Suite
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A bold start. Right from the beginning he exudes arrogance, charisma and danger. He plays nice in front of Miranda with a waltz that picks up in intensity when putting Ethan through his first gauntlet. Then the tone gets deeper and quieter for a moment, as he plots in secret; it’s finally time to set his plan in action. It’s a race to the finish line as Ethan tears through the other lords, unknowingly playing right into Miranda’s plan. Realizing he could be a particularly useful asset/ally, Heisenberg puts him through the second gauntlet. The music is sadistically playful as he tests his will and endurance. Upon failing to recruit Ethan, the music picks up for the third gauntlet and ends with a bang, as Karl dies at the hands of Miranda.
Duke: Georges Bizet - Votre Toast
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A friendly face unfitting in a place such as this. The upbeat and energetic theme sticks out like a sore thumb among the others. Whimsy and grandiosity acts as a brilliant facade for his enigmatic true nature. Though the jolly merchant schtick may be a lie, he always delivers on service.
Miranda: Sergei Prokofiev - Dance of the Knights
https://youtu.be/bBsKplb2E6Q?si=jnSpMO-bIhEcjJzb
Immediately imposes a sense of authority and dread. The dark theme plays over and over as she performs the same cruel experiments expecting different results, though it only succeeds in remowing her further from humanity. She imagines a world of pure bliss in acquiring her child, which at this point is as illusory as chasing the holy grail since she’s never satisfied. When she hears of Rose she schemes her way into the Winters home, elated to find the perfect vessel after a century of searching. She steals the child away, leaving behind a trail of destruction that finally catches up to her.
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vesora · 1 year
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is law of assumption real? yeah
i have come across an individual vilifying the loa community and i find their statements kinda funny and stupid but i love having my beliefs challenged bc i can know why i believe in this. please also read my response to this other girl who thought loa ppl were crazy. it is ok to think if it’s crazy. ur welcome to criticize it. also, i am using aesthetic pictures bc of my ocd, i need things to be divided.
this is for the people who want to listen whether LOA is real from MY perspective:
firstly, i was primed for law of assumption from a young age. this means that i experienced many and i mean MANY spiritual things from a young age. i saw spirits (not hallucinations, it was my dead grandma who i had never seen and i described her down to her ring to my dad and he started crying because it was her), started speaking french at random points without ever having consciously learned the language, heard random piano compositions in my ear which i had never heard before, had visions which protected me/warned me about the future/informed me about the future and many manyyy more things. this proves to me the power of the subconscious mind.
the difference between someone who was born with their third eye awakened versus someone who has no spiritual experiences + is not open-minded to it, is that they will view spiritual phenomena from a materialistic practical sense.
this is saddening, because humans before being impacted by materialism were so spiritual and we were the ones who created the pyramids and all the structures you see on earth. we did that.
anyways,
is it real?
my opinion: yes. 
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no i am not in a cult waiting to pounce on the next vulnerable piece of meat. in fact, my future career is removing people out of cults and helping trafficking victims but anyways.
i have manifested things far beyond logic. you know how and why? because manifestation is the most basic human trait. and awakening to the fact that you are the creator of your reality is the most liberating amazing feeling and practice. i manifested one of my dying cats becoming free of cancer. that is not luck. that is manifestation. i manifested bad circumstances away. not luck, manifestation. i manifested all my exes leaving me the SAME way because i had assumed they would. not a coincidence, manifestation. there is definitely a lot we don’t know about the universe. i can’t say with certainty that all things are attributed to us which is also why i hate any form of victim blaming. but one thing is for sure is that humans have more control over our lives than we think. we don’t need a divine presence outside of us to dictate us the circumstances in OUR lives.
also, law of assumption is not law of attraction. law of attraction is “AHHH DONT THINK BAD THOUGHTS OR U WILL GET BAD JUJU” very fear-based, also seen in dogmatic religions. law of assumption uses a CBT based approach to change assumptions and therefore, influence reality. you have every right to not believe in this and even chastise me for it, i understand. however, i know this is real for me.
i was a victim of many racist attacks, however, as soon as i decided that the outside world is safe for me, i never had ONE negative experience. is this a coincidence? not for me, no. this is a human taking control of their life. this is a human not bound by societal expectations and leaning into divine energy and expressing the truest essence of one’s self. i am not blaming myself for being a victim, it is the racist’s fault. i am not blaming other victims, it is the perpetrators’ fault. however, if there is any fucking chance i can help a victim, i will take it, i do NOT care.
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things i manifested regarding other people towards me:
1. no more racism towards me, family and friends.
2. parents being emotionally available with me
3. my friends expressing affection the way i want them to
4. my mum making me the exact food i visualised many times
5. my professor saying the exact words to me as i visualised
6. my friends saying to me the exact words i visualised
7. this guy flirting with me out of nowhere because i visualised it
8. and many more stuff this shit is too easy so
maybe i feel this strongly because i am a fighter for the working class. my main goal in life is to help liberate all oppressed people. if there is any chance that it can be done by mind, i would take it. would you not? would you not help people by the means you have helped yourself?
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how can you so strongly and with such conviction without ever practising the law come to a conclusion that is a harmful new age ideology when the maxim prevalent in so many esoteric practices (yes, non-white too) have preached that reality is made by the mind? will we ignore the science behind it too? will we ignore the cia declassified documents? will we ignore ancient accounts of reality shifting? will we ignore hermes trismegistus? will we ignore rumi? will we ignore plato? 
you can ignore this. i won’t, however. this is the liberation of the human soul. having said this, anyone is welcome to criticise the LOA community, look at us as vultures, think we are crazy. i value all opinions (even if they’re wrong HAHA sorry). 
how is loa different from dogmatic religion?
well for one, there is evidence for conscious manifestation (e.g. dr joe dispenza’s books). i personally do not like religion. i have religious trauma so if you are religious, id advise you to not read this section. abrahamic religion is based on fear to oppress minorities, trap human potential and it also makes you rely on luck and wishful thinking (this view is only if the holy books were to be taken in the literal sense and abused by ministers etc) whereas the human is able to decide its own fate. law of assumption liberates the human by putting the human from an us vs them view to an us AND them view, meaning everyone is one and the same. this is not a christian thing, this is a well documented thing featured in asian philosophy. consciousness is the thing that unites us all. it is within you and it is within me. religion (abrahamic) forces you to look at the people who are not like you, aka dont believe what you do, as these other creatures who have defied the will of God and ahhh will face wrath. LOA instead empowers the individual and promotes free will. i understand if you think this is dangerous, the woo-woo stuff, just dont practise it.
how is loa not a cult?
loa CAN be misused in a cult but on its own it is not a cult. no one in the loa community is forcing the individual to join this practice which lowkey is just manifestation. however, i get your concerns and i advise you to read this reply: x
i wish i took pics of my cat when she was sick so i could provide u guys evidence but of course i didnt take any pics.
anyone is welcome to leave. anyone is welcome to adjust loa to their lives the way they see fit.
the void state
i doubt that so many people are lying about manifesting in the void state. i do think it’s not a big deal but i definitely don’t think it’s fake. besides, whats the harm in trying?
thing is right, if you are not garnering results or whatever, u dont need to stay. i stayed regardless of whether i manifested my shit instantly or not (which in the beginning was hard for me) because i believed in the philosophy, it resonated with me and it didn’t make me alienate my fellow man. however, if you feel you have a chance of being manipulated here or idk what, don’t join this practice. seriously, it’s okay. i am not being sarcastic or anything, because you are welcome to stay or leave. you are welcome to compliment me or insult me. i will love you either way for you are my fellow man.
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also this is so random and a general thing but only psychoanalytic/psychodynamic psychologists use the subconsciously thing.
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lilsisdolly · 3 days
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yandere nearing the breaking point, a wild babble of degradation and worship co-existing in the same person - directed towards you. a little bit of smut but not much. dubcon elements, not going all the way.
He looked at you with wild and psychotic eyes, a dry laugh escaping his throat as he looked at your terrified form writhing right in front of him. "Youre scared of me, really?" His voice cracked. "After everything ive done for you! Ive done this for you! I took care of you! Ive did everything, everything, everything for you! And thats the thanks I get?" As he continued to talk his words got angrier and angrier, but he still had enough self-control to tame his voice enough that neighbours would not hear. He had cornered you in your own flat, instantly pushed you inside when you opened him and shut the door behind him.
"Why did I even bother to hold back? Why did I cherish you so damn much? I practically... worshipped you! And thats what I get?!" The look in his eyes started to really freak you out, so you turned around and started to run away - into another room, which had been a huge mistake, and only seeked to provocate him worse. And best of all he had caught up to you in about three seconds. "Youre everything to me.." He whispered as he held you in his tight grip. "But I dont have to treat you that way.. If thats the thanks I get. I can betray my feelings for you." He pushed you to the ground. Towering above you now. The pain the fall had caused was dulled by you recognising just how trapped you were in this situation.
He pushed his foot to your chest as you sat up and forced you into a lying position. Then he took the foot from you, and simply looked down at you. "I want to hurt you so badly right now, you have no idea.. my dear. I want to make you feel what youve just done to me. How your behaviour has truly and deeply hurt me.. I want to treat you like a dirt cheap whore.. but my dear.. youre still so special to me, youre everything, everything, everything. So ill give you a chance to make this easier for you, okay?" He now knelt down next to you, gently stroking your cheek and giving you a soft kiss to your forehead. "If you show me youre scared of me.. ill start to punish you.. and if you can atleast.. hide.. it from me.. do your best to play along.. ill make what comes next feel good to you. How about that?"
He looked at you with a feigned smile, trying to give you a taste of what him behaving would possibly look like. As you did not answer him, he sighed "Answer, my darling." "N-no im not okay with this.." He looked at you like you were truly stupid. "Fine have it your way." He then climbed on top of you, your blood freezing in your veins - his teeth sinking into your neck instantly and without warning - so hard you could feel the drops of blood form where he was biting down. Tears in the corner of your eyes. "Im.. Im sorry." You whispered. "Can we try again..?" He took a second, then he stopped biting you and pulled back, looking at you with a cold gaze. "Sure we can. Theres always another chance, my dear. Just like you will always surely give me another chance. As everything ive done, ive done for you." You slowly nodded, feigning understanding just how he asked. You stirred up all the tenderness you could find for him inside of you, its true he had scared you. Terrified you even. But you could acknowledge that in a sick, twisted way he truly believed he was doing all of this for you. Was there any merit in that at all? From that angle he looked like a kicked puppy. A insane, kicked puppy. You eyed his body, that body you so often had fantasized about. That face you so often had considered so beautiful and handsome. How lucky had you thought yourself to be for someone like him to be interested in you? If something seems to perfect.. well.. that usually is because it is, was your newfound conclusion. But you could find some sense of estranged empathy for him. For the person you used to think he was. You slowly extended your hands to cup his face gently, looking at him with what you hoped was a tender stare. He stared at you with repressed anger, but you could also feel him seemingly calming down a little bit. "Youre nothing but a whore, do you know that? Youre nothing. Youll never be anything. Thats how you made me feel. You deserve to feel it so badly..." His voice was shaking, but his eyes showed how torn he was feeling, clearly moved by even that small gesture of yours. "Youre just a lowly.. lowly.. whore." He whispered once more. You started to gently caress his face, continiung to look at him, ignoring all of the insults.
"Youre everything. Youre everything that matters. Youre all that matters in the end. Youre above me. So much above me. So high above me.. that sometimes you dont even notice it when you step on me.." His voice sounded softer now.
He looked down at your face, still sitting on top of you.. his eyes circling your lips like crazy. Then knowing you would not reject him, he bowed down to kiss you - it was a gentle kiss. Then like a wave of hatred went through him he suddenly started to bite down on your lip - but only for a few seconds, then he eased back into that former gentle kiss. It was like he was fighting with himself, struggling to form a coherent path of action.
His hand started to cup your breast.. gently. Then he flinched away without you saying or doing anything. "This would be to much, I get that. Not like this." Then he pulled away and got off from you. He grabbed you by your hand and pulled you up too, then dragged you behind him to the couch. "Lets just cuddle." He ordered. But he was slowly calming down, you did not feel safe yet again, not at all, but he seemed to move away from escalation. You found yourself smothered in his arms and he pressed so tight to you. After a time you found he had fallen asleep. You watched him for a while, then got up and slowly sneaked out of your own apartment and quickly went to a friends place. That tender empathy you had felt for him still stirred up inside of you. But you knew you had to get out. But he never would let you, would he? Despair started to set in.
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csmiclxtte · 1 month
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Solar Return Observation (Mars Edition)
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Early Degree Mars (0°~1°) can show that you strive for independence. You may have difficulty in directing your energy, which may lead to feeling of frustration, anger, and restlessness. Pay attention to the sign and placement. See if any people close to you have natal Mars in the same sign, because they may be the subject of your frustration too. They might do nothing wrong and being their usual self and yet it still irks you. House placement also cues to what you seek independence from e.g. home (4H), daily life, work, coworker (6H), friendship (11H).
Mars in Aries you want to get moving, channeling your inner energy through physical activity. You may feel pumped and eager to take opportunities. Exercises could help you to ease your mind. Staying active. You may pay attention more to your physique. You may be more confrontative, even if you are naturally not like that. I personally love this placement lol. This is the time when you stop giving a f to anyone and just go with your guts, what makes you feel good, what feels right to you. It's just an easier energy to move with, because Mars is in domicile.
Mars in Taurus is slow-progressing. Whichever house it's sitting in, you may feel like you're not making significant progress on that specific area e.g. slow progress in work (6H), dreams feel like it's faraway or impossible (11H). Achievement does not come instantly. Overall very slow, taking progress step by step. It may feel exhausting especially for mutable dominants.
Mars in 4H during this time, I spent most of my time at home. However, there is a restlessness of wanting to do more. Family may be your main motivation of taking actions. The closer Mars is to IC, it may pushes you more to move and progress away from your roots/house/home. All because you want to be more independent. Fights and arguments in family are possible, but understand that you can react differently from what you used to do in the past.
Mars conjunct Neptune can be times when one pour their energy to achieve their dreams. House placement often gives the theme (e.g. college/study for 9H, career or job for 10H). You can almost create everything in your dream to come true. From what I notice however, this aspect has a possibility to be short-lived. One moment you can "achieve" what you want, or there is a sense of achievement, but without careful planning such situation may not thrive. There may be a lot of confusions and crossroads. Your action may be taken differently by others, prone to be misunderstood.
Mars conjunct Chiron is actually not as bad as I originally thought. Maybe it also depends on the sign, but I found this aspect to quickly progress your healing era forward. You will face the wounds you had, whether you want to or not. Mars doesn't wait until you're ready. It would push you to take action and do something about your wound situation. It can be a messy aspect, of course. Not as enjoyable. Emotional outbursts is very possible. However, looking back to that time, I feel grateful because it kickstarted the journey in consciously managing wounds, and dealing with unpleasant things. Also signifies a lesson in handling your anger more efficiently.
Mars coniunct Mercury your mind is sharp, quick to process and to store information. You are decisive, assertive, even confident. Your mind is very capable, can solve problems easily. However be careful not to hurt people because of your words. You may feel lack of control/filter with your words, saying stuff you dont mean, or the word you want to say came off more aggressive than you originally intended. I'd say this is a good indication of good grades as well, because of heightened focus and mental capability.
Thank you for reading
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nonbinarylesbianherb · 8 months
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just a rant about Jinx from arcane—
The way people separate jinx compared to her younger self powder is something i never fully understood or agreed with myself. Whilst her pre and her after trauma are very different characters, to me they are still synonymous. I’m sure jinx thinking back on her childhood probably feels so far away to who she is now, but she is still deep down powder.
In the same way powder is deep down jinx.
Jinx existed before episode 3.
I agree when people say they see elements of powder in jinx, but something I also see are elements of jinx in powder.
When I say elements of Jinx in powder, I imagine giving a name to the already existing insecurities Powder had.
Powder felt she was falling behind, her friends would say she was a setback to them, a jinx, bad-luck. Her creations never worked, always managed to mess up, she never felt fully capable.
Her insecurities of not feeling good enough, that she was setup for failure, even if she tried so hard to succeed, that was the start of Jinx.
Something my therapist recommended I do is to name the part of me that has all these negative thoughts and ideas. Name it something other than my own name to separate it from myself. So that when I notice these things I can say that’s not me, I won’t listen to you, we’re not the same, you don’t control me.
But it is me, it is. And I know that. (side note- there’s nothing wrong with that. You make up yourself, and so do your own insecurities, whilst they are bad, they are still you. This strategy works for some people, to seperate, but from my own perspective for myself, I cannot separate it fully, because to me that is still me, and I recognise that.)
In the same way Powder is jinx, and jinx is powder. They are the same, whilst they may walk different paths, they are always connected.
Jinx is powders insecurities, doubts, sadness, grief, etc.
Jinx has always been there.
The thing is, Vi was also always there too. To counter those thoughts and ideas, to stand up for powder if she did not stand up for herself.
So for the very person that was stopping you from falling too far into yourself, to blame you and call you everything you’ve ever feared of being. Of course it’s a breaking point.
And I think Vi leaving her, and her only having Silco now made it worse. She fully embraced herself, and whilst it’s good that silco embraced jinx and loved her as she was, he also enabled her.
People say the last episode is when Powder is truly “gone” and all that’s left is Jinx, but I don’t see it that way.
Vi is looking for powder, trying to get to powder, but she doesn’t realise that they aren’t individual anymore, its all the same person.
I think Jinx sees Vi trying to do this and feels hurt, because to her Vi doesnt want her, she wants powder, just powder, even though theres never been a just powder. And by now, Jinx has grown and changed, whilst she is still powder, she cannot take away her trauma. That is something that will always live with her, Jinx is something that will always be there.
I do believe Vi can love Jinx, can recognise jinx as powder and powder as jinx, but Vi will not enable Jinx like Silco had, and to Jinx, that feels like rejection.
Anyway I dont know if any of this even makes sense this is my 2am rambles. This is my personal opinion and how I view it, not everyone thinks the same as this and thats fine
gonna give her lots lots lots of hugs because god knows what s2 has prepared for her
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etherealkissed88 · 3 months
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stop seeing the 3d as something greater than you ☆
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facts about the 3d
1. its forever a reflection of imagination/self, its a follower
you change self -> the 3d changes too because thats the law (thats how powerful you are). when you change yourself all the 3d can do is follow. it always expresses self. the 3d will always copy and follow self, it will always copy who you are being in imagination (your identity)
2. its forever neutral
the 3d has no original meaning bc you always assign everything meaning based on your state/perspectives
3. its forever changeable
since you are the operant power, you always have full control. the shit you see now is temporary. it always changes bc you are always changing states. dont feel discouraged when you havent seen any 3d change bc you know that it will change once you truly change self. nothing can possibly be permanent in the 3d so worrying about if "circumstances" will be there forever is useless. you have all the control at all times.
4. its forever an illusion, a lie
you experience the 3d via 5 senses which are limited asf. things you see might not be the things that are actually happening. i cant see gravity pulling me down, does that mean theres no gravity?
5. it does not have a mind of its own, its dead
how can the 3d think for itself if its only job is copying imagination? it is a limited version of imagination that is only a mirror. the 3d doesnt hate you, its not your enemy, you are assuming it is. you see how you always assume meaning because you have all the power? the 3d doesnt have that power. its dead means it has no original power. its nothing but presenting self like how a channel is presented on your tv (3d). it is indifferent, it doesnt mean anything, it is only a screen reflecting self.
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6. the 3d follows, it never precedes
it cannot do anything without your decision, anything that happens is as a result of your state/your assumptions. it will always follow self (reflection of you). it cannot act out and give you what you dont want unless you change self. so it only follows you around. it has no control to take the first action because you are the first action.
the 3d is always below you because you are always in control of it as the operant power. you decide, you choose, you assume, you become, you embody, whatever word you like to use, you will always be above the 3d. everything is in your control always.
but the 3d never matters bc ur 3d could be an absolute mess but u can still manifest. why? bc its all about self! you can always change self and that, by law, changes the 3d. so the 3d only changes when YOU change. this is why we tell you to just focus on changing self!
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i decide i am the version of me who has what i want in imagination (changing self) and its done. i know the 3d is nothing so if i see something i dont want: "its a lie" "its an illusion" whatever words you like, either way its neutral. i just gave it to myself so it rly is done.
"Life does not care whether you call yourself rich or poor; strong or weak. It will eternally reward you with that which you claim as true of yourself." - neville g
the 3d doesnt care about anything except what you assume yourself to be / your state (SELF) bc that is what it copies.
even when you think youre powerless, youre still being powerful…
*you will always be greater than the 3d because you are forever the operant power. it doesnt matter if you think or assume you arent be you always are. if you assume the 3d is more powerful, the 3d will reflect that, BECAUSE you as the OPERANT POWER decided that. so even if things seem bad, you have all the power at every moment and what you see is just the 3d presenting self. it SEEMS like ur not in power but since you continue assuming that, ofc that will reflect which proves you are always the operant power even w a shitty 3d.
the 3d is rly nothing bc the 3d changes under my power every time. once you understand that you are the operant power, everything else turns small. the 3d isnt the big bad wolf. its simply a reflection of you! do not view a REFLECTION of you as greater than YOU.
kisses, jani ☆
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bluesworldd · 8 months
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𐀶 ՙ 🎸 · stay the night !
↳ pairing: hobie brown x reader
↳ tw/cw: cursing, not proofread, kissing, forehead kisses.
↳ genre: fluff
↳ synopsis: hobie always makes it better
↳ blue says: ….yall dont hate me. this took so long because im almost incapable of writing fluff🤕.
request here
spoilers ahead !
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ugh. what a fucking day. finally you had been done with your fifth mission today. miguel, that fucking asshole, had been working you to the damn bone and although you wanted to decline his offers you honestly had nothing else to do. but it didn’t matter cause you wouldn’t be showing your face back here any time soon.
you wasted no time teleporting back to headquarters and making your way to miguels office. thinking about what you would do when you got home made you remember your boyfriend. maybe you could have him come over. yeah that’s probably the only person you could tolerate at this moment.
approaching miguels “office” (if thats what you call it) you felt your spidy senses go off. “well speak of the devil” you knew that voice, it was unforgettable. “and they shall appear, what s be are you doing here hobie?” you let out a soft chuckle. it was almost rare to see hobie at miguels since he never really took on missions, besides the times were miguel almost killed hobie because he always refused. “well i was actually looking for you. miguel was my last resort” you chuckled because of course he was “well i guess i can say the same” turning to miguel, you gave him your report keeping it short. you’ve been on your feet all fucking day and couldn’t wait to get home.
“well if thats all then you both are dismissed” came the tired voice of miguel. you never understood why he would torture his self like that but that was a question for another time. with everything done you turned around and fixed your watch to you dimension but before you could hobie wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “what do you say we go back to mine? yeah?” you rolled your eyes playfully, it amazed you how clingy hobie could be. “fine, your lucky im so tired” you fixed your watch coordinates to hobies dimension.
going through you were met with the beautiful city that was earth one hundred thirty eight. something about the city had an artistic feeling to it, although the brightness of the city strained your eyes you couldn’t think to look away. what a beautiful city indeed. “so what do you say we do today? hm? i was thinking some nice snacks and a good horror movie.”
“sounds lovely, it really does but i doubt id make it through the intro” “long day i presume?” “if only you fucking knew”. entering hobies flat, you both make quick work into getting comfortable. scrolling through the horror section you picked a random movie “hmm how about scream?” “you trying to put me to sleep love?” “either that or you’re picking” “fair, guess were watching scream” pressing play you could feel a part of the couch dip, almost instinctively you began cuddling with hobie. the movie hasn’t even begun and you could already feel your eyes drooping, you decided to fight it off. totally not because you missed talking to your boyfriend, no not at all.
not even thirty minutes into the movie and you could already tell hobie was bored. it wasn’t hard really, hobie typically can’t control his facial expressions. unless he needs to, you can always tell when hobies excited or upset about something. right now you could tell he was beyond bored, although you knew he would never admit it. you couldn’t help but giggle, he could be so stubborn sometimes. “hm? what are you giggling about?” slightly looking up you answered. “how about we change the movie? what do you want to watch?” he gave you a questionable look “and why would we do that? we have another hour and twenty-four minutes left” he was indeed stubborn “hobie you’re obviously bored i can tell” you chuckled, he always put what u wanted ahead of his wants or needs. it was sweet, really it was but sometimes you hated how selfless he could be.
pecking you on the lips, hobie chuckled “it doesn’t matter seriously, im just happy to be with you” you couldn’t help but to chase his lips, you’ve realized just how long its been since you two actually been together like this. you missed this truly you did but you could feel your self start to tire. you’ve been fighting sleep for too long and you could tell.
you fell asleep for who knows how long. you were awoken by the smell of something being cooked and you couldn’t help but smile. “what are you cooking?” you asked with a hoarse voice, trying as best as you could to rub the sleep away from your eyes.” “damn your awake already? well im making fried rice with chicken”
“how long was i asleep for?” you asked with slight concern, truly you didn’t mean to go to sleep especially since you wanted to spend time with hobie as much as possible. “like and hour? i dont blame you” you grinned. walking up to you with two plates in hand, you chuckled. most times hobie could be so caring, in general hes a giving person, always wanting to help an any way he could. you’re probably the luckiest person in the world. “luckiest person in all of the dimensions…it’s definitely me” you giggled out, not like it was a false statement anyway.
“ yeah well you deserve it”
“oh? i wonder why?”
“for being the best partner ever of course” setting the plates down he quickly kissed you on the forehead. when he sat, you immediately fell into his arms. there was no other place you’d rather be.
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©️bluesworldd 2023 || All rights reserved. Do not repost, reupload, translate, modify, copy, or claim my work as your own.
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