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prideofcelestia · 1 year

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❝the bros crash your wedding with solomon❞

« characters - solomon, demon brothers »

« gender neutral reader »

« scenario »

Solomon was excited. How could he not be when it was his wedding day with you? He could barely contain himself when he imagined how breathtaking you would look. The memory would be etched in his mind for all of eternity ― a dear friend to carry in his heart.

The moment drew nearer and he walked to the venue to take his place, waiting anxiously for you. His heart was pounding fervently, and he kept his eyes shut, focusing all his energy on listening to the sound of your footsteps. What he heard instead made him falter and choke on air.

"Satan, keep it down, will ya?!"

Trouble seemed to follow him everywhere. But he wasn't going to let the demons he wanted to make a pact with, and the speaker, ruin his day.

You were just outside the door, trying to soothe your frayed nerves when Mammon's familiar voice made your heart drop. If there were any more surprises, you were going to puke. Was it a lot to want to get married to the man of your dreams without your closest friends trying to crash it?! It felt more thrilling to just get married and let them know later. Well thrilling and less stressful.

Okay, so you really needed to throw up now. Blerp!

When you thought of the brothers' reactions on seeing you in wedding attire, you felt a shiver run down your spine. How could you explain why you hadn't invited your foster family-slash-friends to your wedding?

All heads turned towards the speaker ― a panting young man with a shock of white hair who looked like his life was in danger. You tried to recede into the shadows even though you were hardly visible to the guests inside.

"S-Satan?" one of the people nearby uttered incredulously. "Did he call someone Satan?!"

"We are being crashed by the devil! Yippppeeeee," chirped a little girl who seemed to enjoy the commotion.

"MAMMOOOOON?!"Lucifer thundered from behind.

"Yikes! Lu-Lucifer, calm down, man. We have more important matters at hand!" Mammom tried to shield himself from his elder brother.

"Seriously, Lucifer. As ardently as I hate to agree with Mammon, don't get your priorities mixed," said Satan disapprovingly with an over-the-top roll of his eyes. He got distracted quite easily himself. "Oh, how adorable that cat looks with a bow tie! Making cats a part of the ceremony is a brilliant idea. There's no suspicion that this is indeed Solomon's wedding. But why did it have to be [Name] he's marrying?"

Lucifer looked at him in disgust, "Levi, we need to talk about the shows you watch."

"LOL noobs," Levi chimed in without taking his eyes off of his Nintendo switch. "I bet all of you didn't know that Lucifer and Satan are kinda taboo words in the human world ROFLMAO. I am well informed though because of 'I was isekai'd as a woman even though I didn't really want it and then I learned that I was married to Lucifer who suspected me to be an imposter so I had to spend the next year trying to prove that I was indeed worthy of being alive which is bizarre but he is hot on top of crazy so I forgave him and now we can continue our happily married life together'."

"LOLOLOL call it anime or I won't listen."

"LEVIATHANNNNNNN!"

"G'aaaaah. S-S-Sorry Lucifer."

"Weren't we supposed to not bring a lot of attention to ourselves?" said a sleeping Belphie who felt disturbed by the numerous eyes on them. He snuggled closer to Beel who was carrying him and whispered, "Beel, do you see [Name]? If you do, wake me up, okay? Zzzzzz"

"Mmm k Belph. Nom nom munch munch chomp chomp *sound of a chair being annihilated*. *sound of the spirits of wood and plastic crying because they weren't created to be eaten* . Mmm this chair doesn't taste very good. I must ask [Name] to use better quality chairs next time," said Beel while rubbing his belly.

"The next time is going to incude me in the ceremony!" said Asmo indignantly, taking a break from recording the scandal. "How dare they think that they can just get married secretly without Asmo-chan! I deserved to know about it even if you guys didn't. Don't you worry, Beel. You will get cuter decorations and better food next time!"

Solomon slapped his forehead before summoning you to where he was. Despite enjoying a good show, he prioritised getting the knot tied. Who knew how difficult it was going to be.

"Whoa whoa!" you gave out a yell of surprise at the sudden change of location.

"[Name]," the brothers cried.

Everyone looked at you. Two members in the audience actually clapped at your arrival, because they couldn't process the new turn of events. They stopped just as abruptly as they had started, realising that there was nothing normal about the wedding, so they should just wait their turn before doing anything.

"Hehe, yeaaaah, that's my name. You guys remembered? Awwww."

You touched your heart. It was malfunctioning just like your brain, to say the least.

Solomon sighed and grabbed your hand. "[Name], let's get out of here?"

That was when you realised his comforting presence beside you. His shoulder brushed against you, and you blinked at him.

When your eyes locked, he tightened his hold on your hand, "You look absolutely ravishing, darling. I will never forget the way you looked into my eyes at this very moment. I promise that even if the world burns down all around us, I will keep you afloat and out of danger. I will make you a whole new world if that's what it takes to keep you happy."

"Oh Solomon," you smiled and cupped his cheeks tenderly before whispering. "You know I love you, right? But now is not the right time for this, sweetie."

"HELL IT AIN'T!" yelled Mammon while his wings flapped in anger.

The little girl clapped her hands, "Oooh, Mr Devils know magic tricks. MR DEVILS KNOW MAGIC TRICKS! They changed clothes!!"

The brothers had all changed into their demon forms.

You felt the beginning of a headache. Looking down at your garb, you raised an eyebrow at Solomon. "I'm dressed to take your breath away. You are dressed to take me away from the madness so do something!"

A whistle resounded from his lips, calling a magic carpet. He helped you get on.

He brought your palm to his lips and kissed it. "Your word is my law, love."

"Oh, what a time to be charming, Solomon!"

"Quickly Solomon, they are coming! Move that ancient ass!"

Lucifer just missed a corner of the magic carpet as it flew away into safety. You could hear the brothers bickering among themselves. A smile appeared on your lips as you leaned into Solomon's chest. Some things truly never changed, and you were grateful for those. They shared a beautiful bond, but you couldn't let it interfere with your own connections.

Wrapping an arm around you, Solomon said boisterously, "Look around. Isn't it beautiful? I told you that eloping would be the best choice. Haha, I can't deny that I love the madness of it!"

You laughed and wrapped your arms around your man too. "Then let's fly away from our demons and see how far we get."

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rabiesram · 1 year

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Imagine Lamb introduces Narinder as his boyfriend to the Knucklebones crew and they're all staring at Narinder with that protective dad look

this dude is literally hated by everyone

#before you ask yes #they know who he is #and they all have a grudge against narinder and its hilarious #my art #asks

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dreadfxl-lust · 1 year

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I have the house to myself so I’m walking around naked. AMA

#before you ask yes #I have moaned like a bitch in heat #while getting off in places I shouldn’t #this is so fucking freeing #dreadlust #wlw ns/fw #wlw nsft #lesbian ns/fw #lesbian nsft

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samgiddings · 5 months

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@staff @support @engineering @music @books

Have you ever considered this is a really stupid layout to have when there’s no way to easily get your account back if you accidentally hit the wrong button???

#med mumbles #im mad actually what kind of UI is this #top post #I guess 😭😭💀💀💀#edit: @ing staff doesn’t actually do that much so try filling out a quick feedback form on their site #also #it doesn’t *ALWAYS* ask you for your password #yes it does in some cases but there are situations where if you link it to your email it doesn’t ask!!!#look through the tags and see how many people have accidentally deleted their blogs before you decide to be a smartass

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inkskinned · 9 months

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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail''#ah tumblr...#writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" .....#no.... not really.....#idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing...#this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey.#idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me.#i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

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rocxyoulikeahurricane · 1 month

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piccrew here

#handsome devil; visage #before you ask yes #the fedora was necessary.#taken from Hellcab

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ninjasmudge · 2 months

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thats a red flag narinder, get that crown back while you still can

+ top panel without text below the cut

#cult of the lamb #cotl #rspect my privacy at this time by not asking what came over me to make a fully colored comic #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #cotl aym #my art #actully im like really proud of this not sure why it happened but it did #anyway i have at least another 4 cotl jokes to get out right now #if you look real close you can see my hcs for lambs design before and after they got the red crown #and also i need everyone to notice aym and lambs eldrich shadow #and yes i know you can both name the cult anything AND you can have a cult in someones name with it being their cult but consider. funny #narinder

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aimseytv · 6 months

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my girlfriend likes these ones so i posted them, enjoy

#before you ask #yes #there is something off about this photo #i have to do what i have to do

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sumikatt · 4 months

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your ability to make art came free with your humanity! if you can’t draw then you can’t draw. art isn’t and shouldn’t be accessible to everyone. art is a privilege.

i could’ve made this shitty blank painting, why is it in a museum? i could’ve taken this photo better. be cringe and be free, draw your rainbow fursonas. just commission someone if you want art but can’t make it. modern art is so pretentious and meaningless. only hyper rich disillusioned people like abstract art. only dumbass gamers who don’t appreciate real art like hyper-realistic video game graphics. only silicon valley tech bros like this kind of ‘art’.

why don’t we appreciate traditional art anymore. isn’t the computer doing most of the work if you draw digitally? pirate photoshop! you’re cheating and stealing if you use that. here are some easy artist hacks! here’s how to trace correctly. nfts are so stupid, just right click and save lol. why is netflix not allowing screenshots, what am i gonna do, pirate the show a frame at a time?

i’m so glad those tech bros are getting sued for copyright violations. JSTOR has blood on its hands. just learn how to draw with your feet or mouth. typing words into a machine isn’t art. i wish it was a trend to go to the library. there’s no humanity or authenticity in AI. put your name into this generator and see what weird abstract thing you get! i hope CGI artists unionize, they are so clearly crunched and way underpaid.

this took months to make, isn’t that admirable? this only took a few seconds to make, there’s no soul in it. this was captured in fractions of a second, aren’t moments of humanity so beautiful yet fleeting? not everyone can make art. art is a luxury commodity and not everyone can afford it. creative hobbies are so valuable for your wellbeing, humans are meant to express themselves.

#.s #ai art #before you ask: yes this is inspired by the ‘girl dinner’ video

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daeyumi · 6 months

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Broken oaths and forgotten dreams 💧

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egophiliac · 8 months

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so on the subject of the "Crowley is secretly Revaan/Laverne/Levin/please Twst give us his name" theory, I think my feelings are best summed up as "I don't really buy it, but it's funny". like, in all seriousness, I'm not opposed to it; I have enjoyed the writing in Twst so far and I'm willing to trust that whatever happens will, you know, make sense and not be terrible. but I'm just not really convinced by the current evidence! maybe that'll change once we learn more, we'll see!

with that said, may I propose a few alternate theories about the possible Crowley/Revaan connection:

#art #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland spoilers #twisted wonderland episode 7 spoilers #twisted wonderland book 7 spoilers #on this installment of things nobody asked but i'm going to talk about anyway #disclaimer that this is mostly a joke please don't get mad at me #(legit no shade to anyone) (speculation is one of the fun things about an ongoing fandom and you never know what'll turn out to be true!)#more seriously i do think there may be some connection that just isn't clear yet #but the more little breadcrumbs we get about what revaan was like the more i think crowley just doesn't act like him #i adore crowley don't get me wrong #(yes he's a dipshit. this is a feature not a bug.)#but like.#not to harp on the scene about lilia's nrc invitation (i am absolutely going to harp on it)#i do not believe that crowley would go through the trash to fish out the pieces and put them back together and save them #just because it was lilia's. just because lilia might want it again someday.#crowley can ✨yasashii✨ all he wants but we know what he's like #and i REALLY do not believe that lilia wouldn't recognize him. i didn't believe it before and i extra don't believe it now.#then again i do tend to be incredibly off about speculation so! who knows! i will trust the writing for now!#i do 100% believe that meleanor would fall in love with the world's biggest dumbass and then double down super hard. that part tracks.#that said i have decided that ambrose being revaan is actually the funnier option just because it would make crowley SO mad #it wouldn't make sense for him to be mad about it and that would just make him madder

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goldeneclipsee · 9 days

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since my first post about this (regretfully) got 150 notes I'm making another (also regretfully)

yeah gaytale sans is just the gay flag. sorry for putting this on your dash

#gaytale #< I was using it soley for reachability but at this point we're too deep in it #digital art #before you ask yes that is a binder

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a03heralding · 6 months

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Bg3 blunt rotation headcanons:

Karlach: does not stop fucking laughing. She’s def wheezing at a joke she overheard in a lesbian bar three and a half years ago while in the middle of a sentence. The type who starts a story and ends up laughing so hard she can’t finish it.

Halsin: mellow as hell, is always encouraging the group to go for a nice walk somewhere while stoned to shit. Will he pass out or will he be caressing the flowers in his backyard? No one knows.

Shadowheart: Sis is asleep after a joint or a few hits from the bong. Is likely sleeping on Lae’zel’s shoulder with a blanket around her. We love her for that tho bc she looks so cute.

Jaheira: she is forreal trying to tell you that we’re all living in someone’s sims save or how aliens made the pyramids. Also always pulls up to the session at the most random times.

Lae’zel: when she does smoke she usually ends up tripping the fuck out and is staring at the wall like a dog that’s accidentally eaten an edible. Doesn’t partake anymore but will come and chill and act as Shart’s personal resting post.

Astarion: the one who is chatting the most shit, probably has the joint in a cigarette holder like curella de’vil. The main source of Karlach’s laughter. Is also constantly asking for Nicki Minaj songs to be added to the Spotify queue.

Wyll: straight up vibes, is probably hogging the snacks to himself tho but he’s busting jokes and laughing with Karlach about stupid shit

Gale: the person in charge of the playlist and the only one who can actually roll. He is very particular about the music bc he believes it sets the mood for the high. Is constantly denying Astarion’s request to play Chun li but puts on random shit like khazakstani jazz

Minthara: enabling Astarion’s shit talking and spilling the piping hot tea. The least faded out of all of them (except lae). Has a screenshot folder that she shows astarion so they can be shady.

Aylin: she’s productive when she’s stoned, is likely cooking something or has gone for a jog/ doing a task while wearing her socks/ Birkenstock combo

Isobel: the mom friend who is making sure everyone is drinking water and is getting fresh air while fried.

Withers: the za dealer. You have to go to his house and he only sells a min of 6gs at a time. Usually chilling and trying to hide his weed plants from the cops bc his neighbours are snitches ngl

Minsc and boo (sry I be forgetting): Brings his hamster to the function bc he doesn't want him to be lonely and believes that his best bud deserves a toke as well. Boo is a literal fucking menace and bites those who object to giving him any. There is literally always an argument bc of this but Minsc is ready to fight for his child.

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vigilskeep · 10 days

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one of my absolute favourite tiny details is cousland’s nan insisting the warden start the telling of a childhood story, and instead of, i don’t know, “once upon a time”, cousland’s cultural go-to is before our fathers’ fathers came down from the moutains. cousland has chantry tutors but at their nanny’s knee it was alamarri folk tales, not andraste and the wyvern. i think that’s so interesting and it’s one of the jumping-off points for my take that highever let andrastianism colour its culture and traditions more so than change them, in contrast to a centre of pilgrimage and of royalty like denerim, which is more closely interlinked with, and perceived by, andrastians outside ferelden’s borders. cousland to me is always saying some slightly off brand stuff they don’t realise is weird (read: heresy) while alistair and wynne raise eyebrows at each other

#cousland: let’s pay respects to the spirit inside connor before we try anything #alistair: the demon??#cousland: it’s still one of the maker’s first children isn’t it?#alistair: well i mean yes but—#cousland: you lay a space for the spirits on feast days you don’t ask what kind of spirit takes it #alistair: what are you TALKING about #warden cousland

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shivroy · 13 days

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through the ages

#tomshiv baby #TOMSHIV BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#TOMSHIV #!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you have questions you must direct them towards me but before you ask #no i dont know why tom doesnt die. i simply do not know #succession #succession fanart #tom wambsgans #shiv roy #siobhan roy #hibernian #i dont even know what to say. Thats Hib #answer to question 2: yes hibs did steal toms s4 white shoes in last pic #iNEED TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AND THINK ABOUT SHIV ROY. GOODBYE

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essektheylyss · 1 year

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World Wizard Entertainment Final: FUCKING TROUBLE

(And is Vince McSam in the room with us now?)

Well folks, this is it. The final.

We've lost some good wizards along the way. Also some evil ones. Probably some neutral ones as well, I dunno, this wasn't the alignment quiz. We've campaigned, cat-fought, and cried crocodile tears for who was the most wizard, who was the strongest wizard, and sometimes, who just made the funniest argument.

And in this last round, we've had to say goodbye—for now, but not forever—to our champion, our guiding star, our last hope....

A moment of silence... for Veth's Big Naturals.

But do you know what? It's what she and her huge, wizardly knockers (and, maybe, somehow, also Cerrit's roguely big naturals?) would've wanted. Her boy, Caleb Widogast, in the final round, up against the Calamity's dearest heart of hearts, Laerryn Coramar-Seelie.

Pfffft, alright, enough of that heartfelt fuckery.

There's no crying in wizardry, as they say! If you want to see previous polls, rankings, and methodology, please check the tag here. Otherwise, let's get to the trash talk!

(But for real, again, keep it weird and funny, not just... mean. Contrary to popular belief, people can in fact tell the difference. This is for fun.)

Our final round match-up, wizard to wizard:

So come, one and all, and vote for the last wizard remaining! Laerryn, give it your best shot. And Caleb, AVENGE THOSE TOTS!

#world wizard entertainment #I'm just saying. aabria's silence on veth's big naturals is deafening.#laerryn coramar seelie #caleb widogast #and before you ask yes I did have this written in advance. don't you remember the eldamir obit joke.#a journalist has gotta be PREPARED.

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