#but I don't think staying entirely silent is good either so

[wordsandrobots]

At the risk of writing in the anger and despair (because gods know, ‘British Government to re-legalise slavery by default’ is the kind of thing I have very little coherent response to beyond ‘it tracks’) and knowing this is a point that probably doesn’t need making for most --

It doesn’t matter if it’s meant as a distraction.

Obviously it *is*. It’s coming from a government caught between its own ideological incapability of fixing the problems making people’s lives miserable and the very real consequences of said problems, desperately looking for an easy win. Obviously they expect further cruelty towards asylum seekers to be cheered by their political base, and would rather this gets the focus than LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE right now.

But treating this as a ploy, saying the racist rhetoric and xenophobic invasion narrative is all for the sake of clinging to power, overlooks the fact using a minority like this as a scapegoat is an act of racism. Never mind that the distinction between cynicism and heartfelt hatred matters not one jot to the people who’ll suffer from the results, the fact there are so many people willing to pin society’s woes on whichever tiny, marginalised group they think they can best get away with is an incredibly clear illustration of systemic prejudice.

Whether it’s refugees, travellers, or trans people -- designating acceptable targets, reducing them to ‘a problem’, that is the absolute core of the issue. Those behind this new bill and all the rest of Tory policy might be raving bigots, or they might just be rich chancers trying to get as wealthy as possible as fast as they can, or both. It doesn’t matter.

They are willing to treat human lives as disposable based on how they categorise them.

That is the letter of what they have promised. Didn’t come here by the routes deemed proper (that have been systematically destroying as viable options)? Tough shit. The protections of the law do not apply to you. Doesn’t matter if you get exploited or otherwise abused, you don’t count. To hell with international law. To hell with human rights. It’s OK if you suffer.

This right here? This is why we draw the line based on actions and results, not intention or target. Because it *isn’t OK* and it’s the first part -- “willing to treat human lives as disposable” -- that’s the issue. That’s the starting point of everyone involved in drafting this bill, whether they think of it that way or not. It’s the line the opposition buys into when their grand response to this act of barbarity is ‘yes, but it won’t solve the problem and we’d do it better’ (useless bunch of mendacious chocolate teapots).

As long as it is acceptable, nay encouraged, to stand up in the highest office in the land and say, “it’s OK to hurt these people because they do not count”, we are all fucked. That is the real issue. Do not get distracted from that.

#uk politics #politics #I have tried not to make a habit of posting my own feelings on these things #I'm not sure I have anything constructive to offer #but I don't think staying entirely silent is good either so #Tories out

[actual-changeling]

this one is thanks to a post by @thegroovyfool because she is very much correct - we do not talk about aziraphale's "i need you" enough.

so once again, with a deep breath and a sigh, welcome back to alex's unhinged meta corner, where i tear apart the confession scene frame by frame. i'm gonna say, watching this particular clip over and over and focusing on aziraphale's face almost took me out.

let's get into it.

first, how about a little look at our starting point. (any blurry screencaps are due to a LOT of movement on michael's part rip)

crowley is very pointedly facing away from him, he turned after aziraphale said "we can be together - angels!", presumably because being offered exactly what he wants in the one way he cannot have it fried his brain, cause besties it surely fried mine.

aziraphale on the other hand looks openly desperate, which is why he says "i need you." more on that later. let's have a look at how he says it, because michael "microexpressions" sheen is putting in the work.

to me, he seems close to tears, his eyes are glistening in that specific "i'm about to cry my eyes out" way i know from looking in the mirror while crying

he is trying to get crowley to listen to him and to turn around. he wants crowley to face him, which is something most people tend to want during an argument. talking to someone who is not looking at you tends to make someone frustrated and like they're not hearing you/do not care about what you have to say.

aziraphale looks close to despair, his i need you is a plea to crowley to come with him. he is opening himself up not just emotionally but physically, too.

he slightly leans forward, his arms are raised and seem to both slightly grasp for crowley and point towards his chest/heart for emphasis. the pure pain visible on his face knocks the air out of me every single time i look at it.

aziraphale is admitting to needing him, something he has never done before, hell, he has told him the exact opposite on numerous occasions. i don't need you. and while they both knew it was a) a lie and b) a way for him to deal with his conflicting emotional standpoints and cognitive dissonance, it still hurt crowley every. single time.

crowley was there for him no matter what, he knows aziraphale needs him but he came back and remained at his side even when he was pushed away and more or less openly insulted. he endured it all.

aziraphale saying i need you now is pretty much a slap in the face but also what crowley needs to hear. as with everything that happens during the entire conversation, the timing is fucked up and they're talking past each other.

in my opinion, that is why crowley does not react.

only when aziraphale turns spiteful and starts questioning his understanding (aka calling him stupid without outright saying it) does he re-enter the conversation.

aziraphale, however, is upset. now, i will put on my tinhat for just a second and turn up the insanity because there are two more things i want to talk about.

first, the little stutter at the beginning.

"i ngk - i need you."

my question is - why? why does he stumble over these words in particular when it does not happen with any other sentence? the only other time is right after crowley walks away with his "good luck", he stumbles over crowley's name.

so, in short, it happens when he is either caught off-guard or saying something incredible emotional.

and this, everyone, is where i go unhinged in my interpretation.

what if he initially did not want to say "i need you?" what if he was so caught up in getting crowley to stay/come with him that he did not think and almost confessed another three word sentence?

what if he was about to say "i love you" but stopped himself because no, that's too direct, they don't do that, they can't do that. it goes against EVERYTHING they have silently build over the last six thousand years. so he chokes on it. he chokes on it and instead he says "i need you" because it means the same thing.

i need you. don't leave me. come with me. be an us. go off together.

i forgive you. i love you.

they say it over and over again because that's the only way they can say it.

that is why aziraphale is so angry and upset after saying it. he told crowley he loves him, he needs him, and all he got in return was silence.

the funny part is that this code may have worked before, but it no longer does. crowley is too hurt to listen to what aziraphale is trying to tell him, and aziraphale is equally as hurt and also not listening anymore.

the funny part is that it stopped being about love and started being about sides again. my side, your side, our side. choose a side, choose our side, choose me.

the funny part is that beelzebub and gabriel told them what they need to do, i found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides.

#alex talks good omens #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #go2 #aziracrow #crowley x aziraphale #good omens meta #ineffable divorce #this was spontaneous i saw the post and my brain went i need to do this right now #so i did #anyway if u disagree with my conclusions thats fine i disagree with my own theories often enough #otherwise fandom wouldnt be any fun

[11cupid-tarot11]

How would your future spouse treat you on your moon cycle? <3

I was having such bad cramps when this question suddenly hit me and I figured we'd all love to know, right? Even though I get very cranky and like to be alone during my time of the month hehe.

1 -> 2

3 -> 4

Pile 1- Wheel of fortune, queen of wands, queen of swords.

So this person will literally try to pamper you, whatever that may look like for you. I'm hearing they'll respect all of your boundaries and will grant all of your wishes, they're very supportive. I'm hearing they don't like seeing you in pain and they understand how uncomfortable this time frame is for you.

I think this person is naturally caring and easily can read human emotions and they're giving therapists vibes tbh like they could work in that field or maybe for some I'm picking up on massage therapists, this person just seems like they know humans enough like maybe they studied it or it could just means they've studied you so well they know what you need (I said 'want' at first but was directed to switch it to 'need'. Someone's fs here likes being in charge lol) . Either way, I think they'd love to be your massage therapist around this time. I'm hearing anything to make you feel good.

THEY WILL LITERALLY TREAT YOU LIKE A QUEEN, pamper you, spoil you.

I'm hearing for some, around your moon cycle you get mood swings maybe? Your entire energy changes enough for this person to catch on and they'll know before/when you're on your period because of this. Maybe you're usually very chill and calm and around this time you're just more cranky than usual like me lol and your person will try very hard to just make sure your okay and not taking their head off? Lol, the way your person talks is very funny, they're very funny and so so sweet!

I think this person will treat you so well simply because they love you, you're their baby and they respect you so much. You're literally their queen. They love you so so much 😍 they want me to leave this rose emoji for you 🌹 (I think they're very giving, it's just in their nature 😭)

Other messages- my sweet girl, lots of chocolate and warm towels, hugs and I'm picking up on those who would rather be left alone for moments at a time they understand, they'll check up on you occasionally and will still be very affectionate (u can't refuse their hugs I'm hearing no escape lol 🤣😭 they're very cute. I think they like compliments? They might blush and smile a lot?) The type to randomly kiss ur forehead or cheek when ur literally just ✨chillin✨ just because.

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 2- Ace of swords, temperance, the fool and the hermit.

So I think this person actually doesn't know much about a women's cycle, I think for a specific few they're the only child or maybe they just didn't grow up around a lot of feminine energy so this just isn't their field but I'm hearing they'd try damn hard to make sure everything's okay!

They'd follow your lead on this, like they prefer to maybe watch you from afar during this time? Like sometimes they don't know if they should bother or if they could help at all so they'll probably just straight up ask if there's anything they can do. This person isn't immature about it, but they do feel a bit awkward during those days? (I'm actually dying at ur person, they hardly know how to describe anything?)

Okay, for example, say you're having very bad stomach cramps and you've been in bed all day complaining, they would probably let you stay in bed as long as you'd like and would peek their head in the doorway to silently check up on you because they don't know if they should disturb you or not.

I think they'd love it if you just told them or ask for anything you need, I think they'd rather you rest and use them as a servant 😜 (ur person wanted me to add that, they felt very serious until now? I'm dying) until you feel better, they'll try different approaches tho, I don't think it'll always be this awkward. I think when you two have been together for awhile they'll pick up. I think then they'd mix up their own home remedies, and their own strategies by now, they're not very specific on what this could be or what it could look like because I think this person doesn't really want you to know?

They really want you to feel cared for and like they're there for you as much as possible so they're constantly thinking of new ideas for you!

This is not an 18+ reading and take it how it resonates but I think a very selective few wouldn't mind having intercourse on their moon cycle? 👀

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 3- Death, Ace of coins, The tower, Page of wands

This pile feels different, I was getting the energy of your person being shy and excited to have their turn for the reading 🤣 maybe this person isn't someone who you see romantically at first, could be a roommate a friend but you do know this person or they will come into your life at some point and you guys will have some kind of friendship from the start. It's giving secret admirer tho.

With the death card I'm thinking y'all could've just made it official, it feels like this is something new to them. Maybe it makes them feel a step closer to you? They think it's very cool you're trusting them enough at a time like this. They really value it.

I think they'll be the type to really go all in, ask you probably 20x a day "What do you need?" I saw that scene from Aladdin, when the genie is explaining how tired he is of being in the lamp and he's like "What do you need?Poof! What do you need? Poof!"

This person is trying to charm you and maybe show you they really care for you by doing this, I'm hearing 365 days a year they'll be like this tho, not only when you're on your moon cycle. I think they want you to be vulnerable with them or can't wait to see more vulnerable sides of you.

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

Pile 4- The moon, Kight of coins, Temperance, Kight of swords.

My pile 4's energy is different, I think this person could be older than you? This person overall isn't someone who's very cuddly or could even be very hard to read so moments like these really show that side of them in their own way?

For example, say you ran out of pads but your stomach hurts too bad to go get them yourself, your person wouldn't be thrilled to shop in the women's section but for YOU they will, they'll go get your pads and make sure they're the right size and everything (I'm hearing he'll literally call you and ask what size he should get).

They're very serious when it comes to you, they have dedication and it shows in the oddest ways possible.

So for your time of the month they'd be very chill about, the other piles felt all jittery and nervous like they were scared to mess up but your person is smart, he'll break down those walls for you, if you just want to cuddle in bed they'll hold you as long as you like. I'm hearing they're actually kind of "softer" at the right times (I'm sorry I can't think of a better word right now)

You'll love how this person will treat you and your needs and I'm hearing symptoms as well, they're very comfortable and reliable. He's like your big giant teddy bear! 🧸

Let me know how it resonates in the comments below! Leave a suggestion for the next pick a pile!

#18+ tarot #pac tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #tarot #pac love reading #pick a card #tarotcommunity #tarotblr #spirituality #pick a pile #tarot commissions #tarot requests

[karajaynetoday]

hey now, you're an all-star | jack hughes

it took one month of watching hockey for me to write fic. lmao. classic. good vibes.

thank you @littledrummeraussie for proofreading, love you angie 💖

READ PART TWO HERE

READ PART THREE HERE

word count: 2.8k

Warnings:  i don't think it needs any? just forgive my limited knowledge of hockey and canada i suppose? mentions of anxiety related to university? it's a bit angsty bc let's be real, do i ever know how to write anything else?

(This is a fem reader insert)

More writing here (soz that the masterlist is not up to date lol) | send thoughts/feedback/suggestions here

You’d known Jack Hughes for as long as you could remember. He stood up for you in the playground at kindergarten, when a bigger kid pushed you off the swings; you returned the favour by saving him from a spider on his backpack. Ever since, you’d always had each other’s backs. 

And for as long as you’d known Jack, you’d been able to tell when he was upset about something. His lips did this thing, not quite a pout, but nowhere near the easy smile you were used to seeing. He’d pull his sleeves down over his hands, and his breathing would be… deeper, somehow. He could never meet your gaze, either. 

You were scrolling through Instagram on your couch at home, where you were supposed to be studying, when you saw a video of Jack from the Devils fundraiser event, answering media questions about his injury and when he’d be back on the ice. He laughed and smiled for the cameras, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. They asked about the all-star game, and you could feel his hesitation in answering. Jack tried to be positive and assure everyone that he had a chance of playing, but you both knew that wasn’t very likely. 

You sent the video to Jack with a comment bagging out his hairstyle, hoping to lift his mood a little, before dropping your phone onto the couch and drawing your attention back to the economics case study you were supposed to be analysing. 

You’d stayed in Toronto for university, while Jack headed off to New Jersey after his draft year. Long distance friendship took a lot of getting used to, but at least you were still in the same timezone, and the NHL schedule meant that Jack was contractually obliged to visit you a few times each year. Quinn too, despite how much he complained about the intensity of hockey mania in Toronto. In fact, the entire Hughes family sometimes made the trek, which you knew your parents not-so-secretly loved. It reminded you of the warmth you felt growing up in each other’s homes, filled with laughter and joy.

The little focus you had for your economics homework was broken when your phone began to vibrate beside you, Jack’s name flashing on the screen. You rolled your eyes with a smile, before leaning over to answer the video call. 

“Good morning, sunshine!” You greeted your best friend, who was already scowling at you. 

“Is it a good morning, though? When all I do is get criticism from my supposed best friend?” 

“It’s not criticism, more… encouragement, I’d say.” You teased back, Jack rolling his eyes at you.

“Encouraging what, exactly?”

“Encouraging you to make better personal style choices, especially related to hair. You are a millionaire, after all. Least you can do is get a decent haircut.” 

“Oh, my apologies. Didn’t realise I was getting encouragement from the queen of high fashion. Is that a coffee stain on that shirt?” Jack’s eyes glanced down at what little he could see of your outfit in the video call, before poking his tongue out at you.

“Hey, I’m a university student. This is high fashion, I’ll have you know. Anyway, why aren’t you at training?” You asked, cocking your head to the side in curiosity. 

Jack’s lips pressed together, and he looked away from his phone and you; you silently cursed yourself for asking the question. Even though Jack had been injured, he’d been pretty dedicated to his rehab and recovery, so it was a little odd for him to be calling you in the morning rather than be at a physio session. 

“More scans this afternoon so no session this morning. Trying to decide if I can play next weekend or if I just have to show up and look pretty.” Jack tried to joke, but you could tell that it wasn’t something he found humour in. 

“Good thing that looking pretty comes naturally to you, J.” 

“Oh, so now I’m pretty? I thought I had shit hair?!”

“You can both be a pretty face and have shit hair, buddy. They’re not mutually exclusive.”

“Mutually exclusive? Is that a fancy term you learnt at school?” 

You laughed at that, earning a Jack smile in return. You continued chatting back and forth for another 30 minutes or so, before Jack had to go to his scans. 

You managed to get through the rest of your economics homework, but your mind kept wandering back to Jack and his frustration at being injured. He’d been an All-Star before, so it wasn’t that specifically he was frustrated about missing, you were certain. The difference this year was Quinn’s selection in the All-Star weekend, and the building anticipation around so-called “Team Hughes” that would see Jack and Quinn on the same team for the first time in their NHL careers. That’s probably what Jack was upset about, because as much as they chirp each other and are fiercely competitive, there’s nothing Jack Hughes loves more than his brothers. You knew that he’d be in his head overthinking everything and convincing himself that he was letting Quinn down, somehow, despite it being beyond his control. 

The only further communication you got from Jack that day was a thumbs-down text message, which told you all you needed to know. You were sporadically in touch a few times throughout the week, and before you knew it, it was the day everyone was flying in for All-Star weekend.

You’d managed to persuade your parents that a full-blown neighbourhood party was not necessary, and instead convinced them to accept Quinn’s invitation to a lowkey but nice dinner downtown near the hotel where he and Jack were staying. The dinner was something you were looking forward to all week, but you hadn’t anticipated two things: accidentally deleting half your economics essay the night before it was due and having to stay up until 3am to finish it; and the butterflies that you were feeling when you were getting ready for dinner. Why on earth were you so nervous? Seeing Jack and Quinn after a while was usually something that excited you, not stressed you out. 

You had just pulled on your dress and finished wrangling your hair when your phone pinged with a message from Jack. 

Have you looked at the menu for this place? We need to order a side of the loaded mac n cheese pls and thx 

I thought you were a high performance athlete? But of course, mac n cheese is a MUST

Correct, my body is a temple. A temple of mac n cheese. Mac is a carb, cheese is calcium for my bones. Winners all around. See ya soon x

Xo

It was freezing outside, so you took an Uber from your university apartment to the restaurant. You were running behind, thanks to traffic, and then you almost toppled over on the pavement outside due to the wet weather. Between that and your sleep deprivation, you honestly wanted nothing more than to go home, put your pyjamas on and cry; but you plastered a smile on your face and headed inside the restaurant. 

The hostess greeted you warmly, and offered to take your coat once you established that your parents had already arrived and were seated on a table towards the back of the restaurant, and you could see the backs of Jack and Quinn as you approached them. Everyone stood up to greet you with hugs and kisses, and the butterflies sparked again when Jack pulled out the chair next to his for you to sit down. Jack and Quinn both had nice sweaters on with collared shirts, and you were quietly glad you’d decided to wear a dress rather than the jeans you’d initially picked out. 

“How did your essay go, sweetheart? I know economics isn’t your favourite…” Your mother enquired, obviously unaware of your crisis the night before. 

You gave her a tight-lipped smile and took a sip of the diet coke in front of you (that Jack must’ve ordered for you, no doubt) before mumbling something about getting it sorted and hoping for the best. Your dad swiftly changed the subject to the weekend’s festivities, excitedly asking Quinn about his plans for the All-Star draft, but you could feel Jack’s eyes on you. You met his gaze and subtly shook your head, silently asking for him to save his questions for later. Jack frowned at you, but complied. 

The dinner felt like it went quickly, but also went for hours. Your stomach hurt from laughing (and probably too much mac and cheese), as Jack and Quinn regaled your parents with stories of their seasons and their plans for the next summer off in Michigan, where your two families would join each other for a month or so of adventures. You found yourself smiling as your dad and the Hughes brothers comically argued over who would pay the bill, before Jack excused himself to the bathroom and sneakily paid the bill on his way there. 

Jack and Quinn’s hotel was walking distance from the restaurant, and they excitedly invited you and your parents to come and see the fancy suite they’d been gifted for the weekend. Your mother made some excuse about traffic on the drive home and promised to come and see it some other time, but nudged you in your side as she told you to go and check it out. You were so tired and ready for bed, but reluctantly agreed; your window of opportunity to spend time with Jack was closing, so you figured you may as well make the most of it.

The butterflies in your stomach flitted around as Jack helped you into your coat before you headed outside the restaurant and bid your parents farewell. You fell into step in between the brothers as they traipsed back toward the hotel, conversation flowing easily as Quinn asked about your college classes and you asked him about the latest book he was reading. Jack was silent as you walked the few blocks before arriving at the hotel, and he gently placed his hand onto your back as you were guided through the hotel front door and into the elevator. 

Your jaw dropped when Quinn swiped his key card and you all entered the hotel suite. They weren’t joking about it being fancy, holy shit. 

The floor to ceiling windows had incredible views of the city skyline, with a very comfortable looking couch in the living area facing the view. Two doors at either side of the living room lead to bedrooms with luxurious linens, and the marble bathrooms were impeccably finished. 

Jack was grinning as he watched you take it all in, leaning up against the door frame to his bedroom as you stood near the window and gaped at the views. Quinn had flopped down on the couch and was texting on his phone. 

“Can they gift this to you year-round? I’d like to live here…” You mused, shaking your head at how insane this hockey lifestyle could be. 

“We could probably just buy it for you.” Jack said nonchalantly, as he wandered over to stand beside you at the window. 

“Yeah, if you want. They’d probably charge us more because I’m a Canuck, though.” Quinn deadpanned, earning a laugh from you and an eye-roll from Jack.

“Speaking of, the guys are all catching up in Petey’s room, so I think I’ll head down there. See you tomorrow after the draft, sugar plum.” Quinn pulled you into a hug, and your heart burst at him using your childhood nickname (which came from one ill-fated ballet performance and you insisted you hated, but secretly loved being called). 

You could’ve sworn you saw Quinn wink at Jack before he left the hotel room, but then again, the sleep deprivation could also be sending you loopy. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Jack asked, moving to stand behind you and loop his arms around your waist as you still faced the window. Your heart rate shot through the roof as he pulled you closer, and nestled his head in between your neck and shoulder. You cringed as you realised he could probably feel your pulse beating fast. 

“Sure, but no blaming me if I fall asleep on you, sorryyyyy.” You awkwardly maneuvered yourself out of Jack’s embrace and walked over to the couch, sitting down on it and removing your shoes. 

“The first time we’ve seen each other in MONTHS and you’re going to fall asleep? Am I that boring? Sheesh.” Jack drawled, watching you from where he stood.

“Yes.” You stuck your tongue out at him, but lost it to a yawn which made you both laugh. 

“You know I love you, J. I would happily pull an all-nighter with you, but I don’t think two in a row is probably good for me.”

“Two in a row? What, where you out partying hard last night?” Jack’s voice trailed off as he wandered off into the bedroom, leaving the door open behind him. You heard a drawer open and a light thud onto the floor, and your throat tightened when you realised Jack was changing his clothes. God, you’d gotten changed in front of each other a million times. Why was your brain making everything so weird tonight?

“Not quite. Had a disaster that involved accidentally deleting my entire essay, sobbing for an hour, then staying up until 3am to write the whole thing. Living the dream, as per usual.” You rattled off, trying to sound nonchalant about, even though just thinking about last night made you nauseous with anxiety. Your nonchalance was clearly unconvincing, as Jack came back out of the bedroom clad in a hoodie and sweats and bee-lined for you, his face covered in concern. 

“Don’t look at me like that. It’s fine, I promise. All part of the college experience.” You weren’t sure if you were trying to convince yourself or Jack more. He couldn’t either, but instead of pushing the issue, he threw a hoodie at your head and laughed when you looked offended. 

“I’m definitely falling asleep if I put this on, by the way. You know I love being cozy. Cozy is my natural state of being.” You pulled your hair up into a loose bun using the hair tie on your wrist, before pulling the black Devils hoodie over your head. 

Jack slotted himself beside you on the couch and reached his arm over your shoulders, finding the remote with his other hand and navigating the ridiculously large TV onto Netflix. 

“Fine by be, sugarplum. I’d rather know you’re getting sleep here than send you home to stress yourself out more.”  Jack mused, his fingers absentmindedly stroking your arm while he found the latest season of a TV show you both loved to watch and pressed play.

“I’m not stres - it was just one essay - I promise I’m fine.” You sputtered, tripping over your words when Jack locked eyes with you, his gaze empathetic but all-knowing. 

“Besides, I’m not the only one in the room worth worrying about.” You said softly, nudging Jack’s side gently. Jack rolled his lips between his teeth, and sighed; he put down the remote and pulled his hoodie sleeves over his hands. 

“But we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. You’re not letting anyone down, though. Quinn doesn’t think that.” You continued, softly, not wanting to cause tension. 

Jack sighed deeply again and pulled his arm away from you, leaning forward and rubbing his face with both hands. 

“You don’t know what Quinny’s thinking, sugar. And it’s not just Quinn, it’s the fucking journalists, and Bratter’s vacation being ruined, and goddamn Michael Bublé being disappointed in me, and - just - fucking all of it.” Jack exhaled deeply, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. 

You didn’t know what to say, because you could tell that Jack wasn’t in a mood that you could talk him down out of. But you could tell he needed comfort, needed reassurance, needed to know that you still had his back. Ever since kindergarten. 

You grabbed the back of Jack’s hoodie and gently tugged it, and he leaned back against the couch. You tapped Jack’s legs next, and he moved them up onto the other side of the L-shaped couch, so he was properly reclining. You paused, trying to figure out how to position yourself without being literally on top of Jack, but while your brain was running a million miles a minute, Jack’s hand found yours and yanked you towards him gently. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, before adjusting yourself between Jack’s body and the side of the couch. Jack’s arm found a home over your hips and settled gently on your stomach, pulling your back against his chest. You felt his breath on your neck as you both wriggled around, trying to get comfortable.

 

“Is this okay, sugar?” Jack’s voice was barely a whisper, directly into your ear. You didn’t trust your voice not to squeak a response so you simply nodded, trying desperately to calm your fast beating heart.

You rested your hand on top of Jack’s and gently squeezed, feeling yourself starting to lull to sleep. Despite the butterflies and your heart jumping out of your chest, you somehow had never felt more at peace, right in this moment.

This was safe, this was calm. This was home. 

#jack hughes #jack hughes imagine #quinn hughes imagine #jack hughes one shot #nhl imagine #jack hughes fanfic #nhl #my writing #quinn hughes #new jersey devils #vancouver canucks #all star weekend #jack hughes x reader

[lovingmattysposts]

Friends with Benefits Part 4

welcome to the illicit affairs chapter, you have been warned enjoy..

P1 P2 P3 P5 P6

paring: y/n and matt sturniolo

Summary:You and Matt are best friends, who occationaly have sex on the low. No string attached, just sex. Well, just sex for him. Little did he know you were falling in love and falling fucking fast.

warnings: smuttt (lowkey nothing major), mentions of not eating, depression, anxiety, drugs, effects of being high, drinking, cursing

first of all i just want to thank you guys so deeply for the love and the never ending requests for the next part of this series. The fact that i wrote this before i had tumblr and was never planning on releasing for others to love, blows my mind. this one is a long one and a rollercoaster, love y'all.

xoxo, Autumn.

Y/n pov

I never thought my body or mind could handle the amount of pain it's endured over these past few days. Never thought the amount of tears that have come out of me was possible either. But here we are. I haven't let my bed in days. I've just been watching reruns of the vampire diares and the notebook feeling sorry for myself. Yeah, I'll admit it. I have nothing else to do but feel what i'm feeling and I think that's the worst kind of punishment you can have.

I heard the door of my room creek open. I glanced over seeing Lucy peek in my room. She smiled. I just looked at her. "Good, you're up" She smiled walking in with a plate of food. I sighed leaning back as she walked up to my bed.

"I made eggs, hash brown casserole, I know how much you love that so I made extra" She smiled up at me. I smiled softly at her. "Bacon and some fruit" She pointed to the plate. "Well-I didn't make the fruit, but I cut it" She said laughing to herself. I just looked at the plate of food.

"You don't have to eat it, but I thought If you did get hungry you could have something good" She said setting the plate down on my side table. "Thanks Luce" I said softly. She nodded but didn't leave.

"I know this is the last thing you wanna hear right now, but how are you doing?" She asked cautiously. I just looked down at my lap. Just hearing the sentence tore my heart in two. I breathed, leaning back.

"Better" I lied. She smiled and nodded. She looked down at my shirt-Matt's shirt. I hadn't taken it off since Lucy gave it back to me that night. It's the only part of him I have left. The only smell of him left in this house. The only thing that I can keep of him. I looked down at the shirt and looked away from her.

"If you need anything-anything at all-" She said looking up at me. "I know Lucy" I breathed, she nodded and started to walk away, but I sat up. "Lucy?" I asked making her turn around. She raised her eyebrows looking at me. "Has-" I bit my lip. "Has he texted you at all?" I whispered. She sighed looking down, before shaking her head slightly. I sighed before nodding.

"Okay I just thought-" I stopped myself. "Okay" I nodded pulling the covers back over me. I let out a breath, before I heard Lucy close the door to my room. I felt tears come on again. He hasn't even tried to reach out. It must really be over. I don't think I can maintain a reality without Matt. I let out a shaky breath as I felt a tear drop onto my nose. I wiped it quickly, imagining it was Matt, telling me everything was going to be okay. But it wasn't and it was never going to be.

I closed my eyes as a silent sob came out as I gripped the T-shirt inhaling his scent. The scent I loved so much. The scent I craved. The scent that was like a drug, because it was his.

-

They said that grief comes in waves. That there are different 'stages' as people say. They say you can go back and forth between stages but they usually most of the time stay in order. It's been almost an entire week since that dreadful night and I've allowed myself to cry and cry and cry. Cry on the shower floor, cry in bed, cry in front of the mirror and I was done with it.

I was still hurt, I felt it in my chest like an elephant laying on my chest, but tonight I wanted to move past what I was feeling. To mask it. To forget about it, even if it was just for a few hours. If I could trick my brain into thinking about anything other than Matt Sturniolo for just a few hours, I didn't care If that meant it would take me twice as long to get over him.

I felt my phone buzz beside me. I stood frozen for a second, before hesitantly picking up my phone. I opened my phone to messages and sighed when I saw a text from Tommy.

from:Tommy Boy

Ayo Y/n/n, party tonight at Zao's place. It'd be cool if you came be there or be 🟥

I shook my head and smiled at the text. Tommy. An old friend of mine, we have been friends since high school. I've known him for like forever. We've always been close but ever since I started seeing Matt, we stopped hanging out so much. That and the fact that he's a hard-score stoner. Not really my vibe, but he was always a good friend and fun to be around nonetheless.

That was until Matt was around him and that whole thing went down about 2 months into our friends with benefits thing.

"Shut the fuck up" I died laughing pushing Tommy's chest. Tommy laughed looking down. Matt stood beside me on my left while Tommy spoke in front of us with a joint in between his finger.

"I swear you did. You looked the guy in the eyes and said that If his pull out game was a strong as his attitude maybe he wouldn't have knocked Sarah up" Tommy said reminiscing on an old story from high school. I wiped tears from my eyes as I laughed. I shook my head.

"I was drunk" I stated. "Still a badass move" He said taking a rip from the joint. I looked up at Matt, who's eyes were fixated on Tommy. "Why don't you ever come around anymore Y/n/n? The guys miss you. Even Blake, who you shitted on so hard." Tommy laughed. I rolled my eyes smiling.

"You're the only girl cool enough to smoke with, everyone else is so uptight nowadays" He sighed. I glanced up at Matt who's eyes were still on Tommy. I sighed looking down. "You know life lately is crazy. I've just been caught up in shit" I said looking at him. He nodded looking down and then at Matt.

"Or caught up in your little boyfriend"  He motioned to Matt. I glanced at Matt who's jaw was hard. "Oh we're not-" I started to say. "We're not together" Matt said over me. I looked at him, but he didn't look down at me. I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked back at Tommy.

"Yeah" I said quietly. Why did that kind of sting?  Tommy looked between us. "Dude, you're an idiot. If she'd give me the chance, I'd hop on that a long time ago" Tommy said taking another hit. Matt bit the inside of his cheek, his chest raising. I looked over at Tommy.

"Tommy" I felt my face go red. He rolled his eyes. "Oh come on y/n/n, I was kidding. You rejected me out-the-bat freshman year. I got the memo. I'm just saying you're a hot chick either way." He chuckled. I looked over at Matt who grabbed my arm slightly and pulled me away. I waved a slight wave at Tommy who smiled shaking his head.

I turned to Matt who's face was hard. "Matt" I said through gritted teeth as he dragged me back inside. He let me go and stopped in front of me. "What the fuck?" I whispered up at him.

"You can't hang out with him anymore" He said looking down at me. I scoffed. "Excuse me?" I asked raising my eyebrows. He looked to the side before back down at me. "He's a dickhead and did you see the way he was looking at your tits?" He asked briefly looking down at my chest. I glared at Matt.

"You mean the way you've been staring at my tits all night?" I asked raising my eyebrows. He rolled his eyes. "He wants to fuck you Y/n, I can see it in the way he looks at you" He said shaking his head, as if it was my fault. I shook my head. "Tommy's been my friend forever Matt" I breathed.

"I don't like the way he looks at you" he sighed looking down at me. I smiled looking up at him, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Matt are you jealous?" I smiled. He rolled his eyes. "No I'm just telling you that he looks at you the way I do" He said softly. "Hm" I hummed pulling him against me.

"Does that make you mad?" I whispered. He just looked at me. "Because you seemed a little mad back there" I said smiling. "I just want to be the only name you're screaming for the time being" He breathed. I rolled my eyes and released my arms and started to walk past him.

"You're ridiculous" I shook my head. He grabbed my waist and pulled me back in front of him effortlessly. "If you want to go around fucking random guys, go do it. I'm not telling you not to." He said pressing against me. "I'm just saying you and I both know they don't know how to please you the way I do. They don't know where to hit the spot that makes you see stars. They don't know that you like it when you can't walk the next day. You and I both know the only eyes you want staring at your tits are mine." He said into my ear. I swallowed as he leaned in front of my face.

"Tell me you won't hang out with him anymore and I can make all those things happen right now princess" He whispered. I blinked at him as he tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. I nodded slowly as I looked into his dark eyes.

He reached up sqeezing my jaw, opening my mouth. "Didn't hear you" He said. "I won't see him anymore" I said breathlessly. He smiled. "Good" He breathed before connecting our lips.

I blinked, attempting to forget the memory. This was what I was talking about. A break from the thoughts. Old friends. It would be nice. I texted Tommy back.

To: Tommy Boy

Weirdo, guess i'll see you there 🥱

I stood up, throwing my sheets off me and ripping the shirt from my body discarding it on my bed. I looked up walking over to my mirror. Looking at myself. I leaned in, looking at my face. My eyelashes were still wet and my cheeks slightly a pink color from the tears. I put on the most convincing smile. Pretty. I leaned back looking at my body, investigating it. Pretty.

I smiled letting out a breath before walking over and turning on my speaker. I shuffled through my playlist landing on love is embarrassing by Olivia Rodrigo. I played it loudly through the speaker before looking through my closet, not thinking about anything other than the sounds screaming through my speaker.

"I told my friends you were the one after I'd know you like a month"

"and I stayed in bed for like a week, when you said space was what you need. Waited by my phone like a-"

"GOD DAMN FOOL!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and shook my head as I danced around my room. I smiled as the song played, this felt good. I held up tops in the mirror before landing on a new one I had just got last week. I jumped up and down as the song played, swinging my head around, singing along. I pulled the top over my head as I moved over to pick out some jeans.

"love's embarrassing as hell" I sang to myself. 

I suddenly heard my door crack open. Lucy walked in with her eyes wide as she watched me slide the jeans on smiling.

"Get dressed!" I said over the music with a smile. She looked at me concerned. "Y/n, you're scaring me" She said withe straight face. I rolled my eyes and smiled walking over to her. "Come on, do you want me to be sad forever in here or do you want to go out and be normal?" I asked looking down at her. She just looked up at me, like she wasn't sure if i was serious.

She glanced to my speaker

"and I'd give up, I'd give up everything-" I smiled and jumped to the music, walking over to her. "And i'm planning out my wedding, for some guy i'm NEVER MARRYING!" I yelled moving around her. She just stared at me like I was a freak, and maybe I was, who cares. I sighed looking at her as the song ended.

"No tears, No sadness, No M-" I stopped myself, swallowing. She raised her eyebrows at me. "I'll let you wear my Chanel top" I said suddenly. Her mouth fell open. "Wow, you're serious" she said looking at me. I nodded. She smiled. "Deal" She breathed running to my dresser.

-

Matt pov

I heard my door crack open, but I didn't move. Normally If I just didn't move they would think I was asleep and they would leave.

"Nick went to drop Nate and Justin off at the airport" I heard Chris's voice say. I didn't say anything and I heard him sigh. "Matt" He stated. I rolled over and looked at him. He looked sadly down at me.

"You can't stay in here forever" He said walking fully into my room, making me groan. He stopped and crossed his arms. "You've been in here all week long, in the dark, alone" He said looking down at me. I just looked up at him. "It's getting sad" He breathed. I looked away from him.

"Are you done now?" I asked pulling the blankets back over to me. I heard him walk over and sit on my bed. I looked over at him. "Did you text Lucy?" He asked quietly. I looked down before pulling up my phone and pulling up the texts

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)       Aug. 1  11:48pm

Lucy, is she okay? Please I just need to know if she's okay.

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)      Aug. 1 11:52pm

I need to talk to her. She didn't give me a chance. I have to make sure she's okay.

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)   Aug. 2    1:03am

I know she likes to go home to her parents when she's stressed. Is she there? Is she at the apartment? Is she doing okay? Does she want to see me?

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)   Aug. 3  11:58am

Lucy. Im dying here just tell me that she's okay. I don't want to overwhelm her, does she want to see me?

to: Lucy (Y/n/n roomie)    Aug. 4    3:07pm

I can't live without her please.

Chris looked up from the phone after scanning the messages. "Not a single response?" He asked, I shook my head. He sighed. "Maybe you should just text Y/n" He said looking at me. I looked up at the ceiling, feeling my heart clench even at her name. I let out a breath.

"I can't say what I need to say over the phone to her. She won't listen unless I make her" I said softly. Chris looked at me and sighed. "Then make her listen" He said standing up. "You said you wanted to fix this. You're saying you don't want to lose her, but you're letting her walk away" He said shaking his head. I bit my lip, he was right.

"What do I do?" I asked looking at him. He bit his lip, thinking. "Do you remember what happened when her dog died last year?" He asked looking down at me. I furrowed my eyebrows. "Chris I'm serious-" I said sitting up. He shook his head. "Think. How did she react?" He said looking at me. I squinted and looked down at my lap.

"She loved that damn dog like a child, she was devestated" I explained, remembering. He nodded. "She cried for a week straight and then she-" I paused sitting up. He raised his eyebrows at me smiling. "She snapped out of it for a couple hours and made us all go downtown to some party, she said it was how she processed things like it was like clockwork" I breathed looking at him. He nodded as he looked down at his phone.

"There a party on sunset, her old friends are there. If I had to guess that's where she'd be" Chris said standing up. I stood up quickly running to get my keys.

-

Y/n pov

"Drink" I said handing Lucy a bottle. She shoved it away from herself. "I'm driving remember" She shook her head. I sighed. "How am I suppose to have fun without you drinking withe me?" I whined. She rolled her eyes. "I'm here to make sure you don't do anything stupid" She smiled. I rolled my eyes before looking around.

"Like what?" I asked turning back to her. "Like hooking up with a random guy, or puking everywhere" She said narrowing her eyes at me. I sighed before pointing to guy. "Why? He's cute" I frowned looking at the boy. She lowered my hand. "He looks like Matt, and I'm not listening to you cry tomorrow morning after you regret it" She said looking at me. I rolled my eyes before bringing the bottle back up to my lips. She lowered the bottle.

"Slow down" She said softly. "Drink every time you say the M-word. I've made it my little game" I smiled sarcastically. She rolled her eyes. "I appreciate you wanting to move on Y/n/n, but you're deflecting. You realize you have to process these emotions at some point right?" She asked, making me walk away from her.

"I can't hear you! To busy deflecting!" I yelled as I walked away. I rolled my eyes as I set down the bottle and walked towards the bathroom. I knocked on the door and sighed as I waited. I saw a guy start to walk up to me. I just looked at him.

"Hey" He breathed. "Hey" I said looking down. "Where are you from?" He smiled looking down at me. I looked to the side and then back up at him. "Were in California aren't we?" I asked looking at him. He furrowed his eyebrows and smiled. "So?" He asked. "Use context clues" I smiled sarcastically. He laughed and looked down.

"I'm Thomas" He held out his hand. I looked down at his hand. "And I'm not interested" I smiled. He dropped his hand. "Boyfriend?" He asked. I sighed looking down. "Complicated" I explained. He nodded. I suddenly felt a wave of guilt come over me.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to be rude, I've just had a hard week" I sighed. He shook his head. "You're okay, I get it. This city will get to you" He laughed. I nodded smiling. He reached in his pocket. "I got something to take you're mind off it if you're interested" He said holding two pills. I looked down at them, suddenly feeling nervous. I don't take pills like that.

"Oh, No thanks I don't do that kind of stuff" I said shaking it off. He shrugged. "You should" He said popping one in his mouth. I just stared at him. "You're kind of beautiful to be in something that's complicated" He said smiling down at me. I smiled, when all of the sudden I felt eyes on me.

I furrowed my eyebrows and looked around me, feeling like I was being watched. I scanned the room before my eyes stopped. Brown hair, blue eyes, black t shirt, staring at me. Matt. My heart dropped to my toes. We stared at each other. He just looked at me from across the room. My body lit on fire. I couldn't do this. No. I can't. He can't-

My body filled with panic. I had to get out of here. I looked back up at the boy standing in front of me. "Nice to meet you, I have to leave" I said turning without waiting for a response, I didn't look back at Matt as I sped in the opposite direction and walked down a hallway, walking out onto the back porch. The cold air hit me as I attempted to breath. Air. Where was the air?

"Y/n/n?"

I turned quickly and I saw Tommy sitting in a chair, along with Blake, Tyler, and a few other people I knew. I turned around and didn't see anyone following me, so I looked back at him a soft smile.

"Hey" I breathed. He stood up off the chair and walked over to me wrapping me in a hug. "Thanks for coming, It's good to see you" He smiled letting me go. I nodded smiling. "Come sit" He said motioning to the open chair. I nodded looking back towards the door, still nothing. I walked over seeing a bunch of weed, rolling papers, and trays laid out on the table in front of everyone.

I raised my eyebrows and looked at him. "Should have known I'd find you out here" I laughed lightly. He smiled and nodded as he sat down next to me and picked up the joint he was previously rolling.

"Where's that little white boy you're always with?" He asked looking up at me briefly before going back to the blunt focusing on it. I looked down at his hands and then towards the door. "Uh" I breathed. I leaned back in the chair. "I don't know" I lied shrugging. He raised his eyebrows. "I didn't scare him off too badly did I?" He chuckled, making me smile. I shook my head.

"No, he just uh-we don't-" I stopped biting my lip. He nodded looking at me. "Ah, I see. No more white boy" He said. I sighed looking at the table. "No more white boy" I said back. He smiled. "Good. Now you can hang with me again" He smiled. I laughed and shook my head at him.

He finished the blunt and held it over to me. I shook my head scrunching my nose. "You know I don't smoke" I said pushing his hands away. "Yeah you're pussy ass lungs can't handle it" He chuckled. I rolled my eyes. "Whatever Tommy" I smiled. He leaned up reaching in his bag. "If you want to get high though, me and my buddy made these this morning" He said throwing a plastic bag of brownies on the table in front of us.

I looked at the bag and then to Tommy. Ediables. He looked at me as he lit the joint in his hands, inhaling it. I shrugged. "I don't know Tommy" I breathed. He rolled his eyes. "Sounds like you just went through a shitty breakup no?" He asked raising his eyebrows. I pursed my lips, looking down.

"And you're here to get over that because you wouldn't be here right now if white boy had a say. Am I right?" He asked leaning his hands on his knees. I sighed looking up at him. He shrugged leaning back. "I know you, you're deflecting" He pointed at me smiling. I pushed his shoulder shaking my head.

"Did you drink?" He asked. "A bit" A said quietly. "Then if you take an ediable it just intensifise the drunk part, you'll be good" He nodded. I sighed looking at it. "Just eat the damn brownie y/n/n" Tyler said from the other side of me, clearly high out of his mind. I groaned picking up the bag and staring at it.

Did I really want to do this? What would Matt say? Why wasn't he coming and looking for me? I bit my lip. Does he not care? Why is he here?

I closed my eyes. Get out of your head Y/n. This was the whole purpose of tonight. Forget about it for a little while. Just eat that damn brownie.

I blinked my eyes opened. "Girl, you're freaking me out" Blake laughed. I glared at him. "Shut up, don't you have a baby at home?" I said his face dropped as Tommy and Tyler laughed.

I opened the bag and took the brownie out. I looked at it before taking a bite and chewing it. Tommy just looked at me as I swallowed it. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"Damn girl that was a big ass bite" Tyler laughed. "Ew, it tastes like grass" I laughed. Tommy nodded. "That's what it is dumbass" he said making me laugh. I sighed and leaned back. This would be good for me. Wouldn't it?

-

Matt pov

I practically ran out of my car and up to the front of the house, my heart beating out of my chest. Was she safe? Was she okay? Was she talking to another guy? My breathing was unsteady as I walked through the front door. My anxiety was at an all time high. I didn't even know if she was here. Something in my chest told me she was. I took in a breath as the crowd of people around me appeared.

I glanced around, looking for her. Face after face, nothing. I didn't recognize anyone. I swallowed as I moved through the crowd. How did I let it get to this point? I waited too long. My heart pounded against my chest, I could hear it in my ears. Please be here. Please be here. I moved by some people, one girl attempting to talk to me but I completely ignored her.

Y/n.Y/n.Y/n. Was the only thing I could hear in my mind. The music blaring so loud but I couldn't even hear it as I looked at girl after girl. None of them her. I walked into the kitchen, letting out a breath.

"Where are you?" I whispered glancing around the room. I walked past a group of people moving into the living room. My eyes scanned the room. My heart dropped when I saw her. She was leaned up against the wall, looking down. She looked so beautiful. Her jeans hugging all the right curves and her eyelashes batting slightly down, her hair tied up to show her face. I let a smile come to my face. Mine.

"Thank you God" I whispered. I let out a breath, before stepping forward but stopping when I saw a guy approach her. I stood frozen. My feet practically cemented to the ground as anger rose on my face.

I saw his mouth move, she glanced up at him responding and then looking back down. I just watched them from across the room. He spoke again, her face screaming 'i'm not interested' as she glanced away from him as she spoke.

Her sarcastic smile, made me smile. She wasn't interested. I let out a breath. He held out his hand but she just looked down at it and then back up at him with a straight face. This boy has no idea what he's doing clearly. She kept speaking to him and I saw him reach into his pocket saying something and holding two pills out in his hands. My heart dropped along with my smile.

Y/n don't. My mind screamed, but my feet wouldn't move. She looked down at his hands and shook her head. He shrugged before taking one.Y/n walk away. I wanted to scream. He said something making her smile. My face tightened, then her eyebrows furrowed as she glanced around the room, before her eyes landed on me.

The power of her gaze, of her acknowledgement almost making me sick. I swallowed as I saw the expression her face change, her face turned white as she stared back at me. We just looked at each other as I saw a million thoughts race through her head. She quickly turned back to the guy in front of her and said something before bolting in the opposite direction.

My heart dropped. No, please. I stepped forward, but felt someone grab my arm, pulling me backwards. I turned around glaring when I saw it was Lucy.

"What the hell are you doing here?" She snapped. I let out a breath, looking down at her. "Remove your arm from me now Lucy" I stated calmly. She roughly let go of my arm. "You're lucky i'm not ripping it clean-off dickhead" She spat at me. I pinched the bridge of my nose. There's no way I'm dealing with this right now.

"Seriously. What are you doing here? You need to leave" She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm not leaving" I said shaking my head looking at her. Her face hardened. "She doesn't need this. Not tonight. Not right now. She's trying to move on. Why won't you let her?" She said shaking her head looking up at me. I swallowed. "She's deflecting. She's not moving on. You don't call this moving on" I said motioning to the party around me.

"You don't think I know that Matt? She's my best friend" She sighed looking at me. I turned looking towards the direction she walked. "Don't" Lucy warned making me look back at her. I glared harshly. "Do you know what you've done to that poor girl? She hasn't left her room in a week. She's not talking to me- She's not eating. God, she's not even herself!" She yelled at me. My heart clenched. I looked down at my feet, swallowing imagining what Y/n's been going through completely alone.

"Why didn't you respond to my texts?" I asked looking at her. She sighed looking to the side and then back to me. "Because you don't get to know how she's doing Matt. You don't get to know if she's talked about you or if she wants to see you or any of that shit Matt, because you're not apart of her life anymore. You don't get the priveledge of knowing what's happening with her at all" She shook her head. I bit my lip. She was right. I didn't deserve to know anything.

"Did you tell her I've been texting you?" I asked raising my eyebrows. She just looked at me with pursed lips. "Lucy, come on." I groaned. She shook her head holding her hands up. "I'm not apologizing for it either. It's better for her if she thinks you haven't reached out" She said looking at me. I shook my head letting out a shaky breath.

"You don't understand Lucy. You don't understand anything about us. We're-" I stopped. Why was I sitting here explaining this to her and not searching for Y/n. "I'm not doing this. I'm going to find her" I said turning and walking away. She grabbed my arm again stopping me.

"Not if I can help it, leave Matt. She doesn't want you here" She said glaring at me. I ripped my arm away. "Lucy" I said closing my eyes letting out an angry breath. "No, you can't keep playing this game with her! You're selfish! You're-" She yelled at me.

"I love her goddammit!" I yelled back, her face dropped. I just looked down at her shaking my head. "I'm so fucking in love with her, I can't even think straight" I breathed. She closed her eyes sighing. "You're an idiot Matthew" She breathed calmly. I bit my lip. "Don't you think I know that? I'm trying to fix this" I said feeling tears brim at my eyes. She tapped her foot, looking at me contemplating believing me.

"I c-can't live without her please" I whispered looking at her. She rolled her eyes before looking at me sadly. She licked her lips. "You check upstairs, I'll ask around if anyone saw where she went" She said looking at me with a straight expression. I sighed a breath of relief and smiled.

"Thank you" I breathed. She nodded looking annoyed. "Go" she waved me on. I nodded before turning and running towards the steps. I could barley see, my mind was racing as I ran up the steps of the house. I looked from side to side, seeing people crowding the hallways. I sighed, worry filling my chest. I walked to the bathroom and banged on the door.

"Someone's in here" I heard a girl say. I banged on the door harder. I few seconds later two girls I didn't recognize opened the door with a annoyed expression. "Geez how bad do you have to pee?" One blonde said angrily. I looked behind them, she wasn't in there.

"Fuck" I whispered before turning down the hall, opening a door walking in seeing a group of people sitting and talking. None of them were her. I swallowed walking out without saying anything. Opening door after door, people making out, people doing drugs, people passed out. Not one were her.

I swung one door open to see two people full on having sex. I closed my eyes and slammed the door, trying to delete the imagine from my brain. I shook with disgust. God, I hope that's not what we look like.

I opened the door beside it and saw two people pressed against each other against the wall. My heart dropped, brown hair, jeans. Please, no. Please, no. I froze looking at them. Y/n No please no, don't be you. God please don't let it be her. Not her. Not mine. Someone else's not mine.

The two people pulled apart glaring over at me. Blue eyes, big nose, not her. I sighed of relief, leaning back. "Sorry" I breathed walking out of the room, closing the door. I closed my eyes and sighed.

Y/n, where were you?

-

Y/n pov

"If you think about it science fiction is not really science fiction because the fiction part of it might actually be true, we just don't know it yet" Tyler said looking up. We all looked at him with a blank stare.

"Dude" Tommy laughed leaning back. Blake started dying laughing and I chuckled to myself, shaking my head as smoke circled around me. "I hate this conversation" I laughed. "Then let's talk about you" Tommy said motioning to me. I shook my head leaning back. "Let's not" I smiled. He rolled his eyes.

"You feeling anything yet?" He asked, I shrugged. "Not really" I replied. "Then eat the rest" He motioned to the half finished brownie. I furrowed my eyebrows looking down at it. "Dude" Tyler said looking over at Tommy. "What? She must have a high tolerence" He shrugged. I just glanced between them. I was feeling it a little bit, I was a tad foggy but not high.

"Should I?" I asked looking at him. He glanced over at me. "Are you still thinking about white boy?" He asked taking another hit of his joint. I sighed looking down. His face, eyes, smile, and voice came over my mind like a storm. I bit my lip.

"Eat the brownie" He said clearly knowing my answer. I sighed picking up the brownie eating the rest slowly. Tommy smiled as he went on to talk with the rest of the people around us. We'd been sitting out here for almost 30 minutes now. I engaged in the conversation here and there, but mostly just listened. I was really trying to feel the effects of the entire weed brownie I just ingested.

Now, I feel kind of stupid. Turning to drugs just to forget. I placed my hand against my forehead. God, i'm an idiot. I looked towards the door. I wondered If Matt left. I wondered if he came to see me or happened to be here and saw me and the left. I wondered if he missed me, or at least the sex. God. I leaned back looking up at the sky.

I was calm. I smiled to myself, wait this was cool.

"Y/n/n?"

I looked up and everyone was looking at me. I smiled loosley at them. Tommy chuckled. "You feeling it sweetheart?" He asked. I nodded, feeling myself start to laugh. Tommy shook his head smiling.

I missed Tommy. I wondered if he did want to fuck me though, I wondered if Matt was right. I scrunched my nose. Ew. Thinking about having sex with anyone other than Matt made me physically Ill. I wondered If Matt thought the same thing. Ah, Matt. He's so cute. His eyes were so blue. I loved him so much. Why was I mad at him again?

I blinked slowly, trying to regain my thoughts. Wow, my head hurt. I swallowed leaning up and sitting forward, but my vision came afterwards. I closed my eyes grasping my hands on the sides of the chair, trying to regain my sense of movement. I blinked my eyes open. Fuck. My vision was going in and out of focus and the people around me were here and then they weren't. The voices around me I no longer could hear. The chirping of the crickets around us were no longer chirpping.

I closed my eyes. Focus. You're just freaking yourself out, it's just weed. Just a drug, control yourself. You're stronger than it. I suddenly felt a jolt, as if someone touched me. My eyes shot open as I flinched, I gripped the sides of my chair.

I looked around and everyone looked at me like I was crazy. I looked around, horrified. Tommy leaned into me. "You....Okay?" His voice was slow. I squinted my eyes at him. Why was he talking so slow? I just looked at him trying to understand him. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. Oh no. Oh god no. I was too aware of my heart beating and I was too aware of my breathing as I attempted to breathe in.

I saw the door open that led out to where we were. I glanced slowly and I saw what looked like Matt, the boy I loved so much. But he wasn't here. Was he? I narrowed my eyes and saw Matt sighed and a worried expression spread across my face. I squinted my face as I gripped the sides of the chair harder, screaming in my head. Fuck.

Matt, help. Matt help me please. Baby. Please. Help, I'm so high. Help, I think I'm dying. I'm freaking out. I can't breathe.

eekkkk live laugh love life uhh see yall tomorrow? (im sorry)

tag list: @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @miastromboli @secret-sturniolo @strunsclutter @sturniolodreamz @ejswift @mmm1234 @dandeluvr @paper-crab @mwah0mwah

#nick sturniolo #nicolas sturniolo #sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo triplets #christopher sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #Spotify

[steddieas-shegoes]

"Stevie, I am begging you, please don't tell Wayne."

Eddie was bleeding.

He was on the floor and he was bleeding.

Steve was standing in the doorway, shocked into silence, watching Eddie try to put pressure on a wound that should have mostly scarred over by now.

His last checkup had been good, they'd even said the stitches could come out on his next visit, and he could officially start physical therapy.

So why was he fucking bleeding?

"Dammit. Can you grab a wrap from my room?" Eddie asked him, tone entirely too calm.

"Shouldn't I take you to the hospital?" Steve managed to ask.

Eddie's head turned to him, eyes widening as he seemed to realized what was happening.

"No, I- this is kinda normal? It's happened a couple times," he tried to smile, shrug it off.

"A couple of times?! Eds, this isn't normal. They gotta stitch you up better or something, c'mon I can take you," Steve leaned in and tugged on the arm he was using to hold himself up, ready to take his weight and help him out the door.

"No!" Eddie sighed. "We can't."

"I can call Wayne, then, and he can come get you-"

"Stevie, I am begging you, please don't tell Wayne."

Steve froze.

How long had Eddie been hiding how bad this was?

"You haven't even told Wayne? Eds, you should be mostly healed. You were mostly healed at your last visit! What's happening?" Steve was doing his best to stay calm, but calm went out the window when he thought about Eddie being taken from them long after the threat was gone.

"I ripped a stitch a few days ago, so I've just tried to be careful, but sometimes I move wrong. It'll stop bleeding in a minute. It looks worse than it is," his eyes were pleading for Steve to just drop it, let him handle it on his own.

But Steve was not about to let something go wrong, not when it came to Eddie.

"I'm taking you to the hospital. I'm calling Wayne. You can hate me if you want, but I'd rather that than have to tell Dustin that you bled out on your fuckin' bathroom floor." Steve put his hand over Eddie's on his side, applying more pressure. "Can't believe you ripped your stitches and didn't tell anyone."

"I was handling it!"

"Poorly. Handling it poorly."

Eddie huffed, but surprisingly didn't argue further.

He actually stayed quiet for most of the ride to the ER, even kept his gaze lowered when Wayne walked into the room he was being stitched back up in.

He remained silent on the ride home, preferring to ride with Steve while Wayne followed behind in his truck.

He didn't wait for either of them before making his way to his bedroom.

"Thanks for callin'," Wayne said to Steve as he watched Eddie close the front door behind him. "You can head out, I'll stay with him until the kids come by tomorrow."

"If it's alright, I think I'd like to stay," Steve hesitantly replied. "I'll take the couch. Just don't wanna be too far."

Wayne looked him up and down, much like he'd done the first night Steve refused to leave Eddie's side in the hospital.

Whatever he found, he seemed to accept, smiling at Steve.

"Might as well stay in his bed. Gotta keep a close eye on that one," Wayne winked and walked inside without an answer from Steve.

A close eye was really all Steve had intended, but of course, when they woke up tangled together the next morning, his intentions started to shift.

They shifted more when Eddie, half-asleep and on some minor pain meds, pressed a soft kiss to Steve's chest before falling back asleep.

——————————————————————

I could have done anything with this line and I chose dramatics. Happy Tuesday.

ATTENTION: I reached 5! This is 1/5 and the rest will probably be posted throughout today.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #drabble #wayne munson

[wileys-russo]

I just got done reading your fic ‘passenger princess’ and I would a another small fic of Y/n actually buying a car or she’s makes Alessia think bought one.

Instead she rented it out for the week and Alessia hates the fact that she doesn’t have her passenger princess. And instead she becomes one for the week and girl tease her about to.

(Please only write if you want!)

passenger princess ficlet II a.russo x reader

little follow up ficlet to the original fic here passenger princess ficlet II a.russo x reader

"-and you think this is a good idea given the fact you two spent an entire day at one anothers throats already. about this exact argument which shouldn't have even been an argument in the first place?" leah sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as you nodded enthusastically.

"yes." you confirmed, the blonde sighing deeply. "i don't know how she puts up with you honestly, the poor girl deserves an award." your national captain shook her head, grabbing her empty lunch tray and standing as your jaw dropped. "leah!" you scoffed after her in offence, crossing your arms over your chest with a huff at her lack of support.

"you told her your plan?" lia chuckled, returning from the bathroom and watching the interaction as you nodded. "i thought she would be supportive but she basically told me i'm a terrible girlfriend and alessia deserves an award for putting up with me." you pouted at the older girl as you stood to join her.

"leah!" the swiss woman shoved the blonde who returned, swiftly glaring at the two of you. "what? she's a numpty and i personally am tired of having to pretend that she isn't an enormous pain in my side." leah shrugged as you again scoffed, launching at her and jumping on her back.

you clung on tightly as the three of you walked out of the lunch room and toward the gym for your final session of the day. "get off!" leah demanded trying to shake you but having no luck as you latched onto her.

"less help!" leah whined as your girlfriend entered the gym, laughing at something victoria said. "having to get someone else to fight your battles for you? some captain." you tutted, arm locked around leah's neck as the woman mumbled under her breath about how she wished she could drown you in the recovery pool.

"you either get off me right now or next camp i'll make you do hill sprints and burpees till you throw up." leah warned seriously as you rolled your eyes but dropped off her none the less, hurrying away toward your girlfriend before the older blonde could retaliate.

"partner up with me?" your girlfriend requested, pulling you into a warm hug as you nodded, flipping leah off over her shoulder as the blondes lips tugged into a smile and she turned away trying to hide it.

the older girl had been looking out for you for years and loved you like the younger sister she never had, so you knew she couldn't ever really stay mad at you.

"how was lunch?" you asked, laughing quietly feeling your girlfriend start to sway the two of you, refusing to let go of the tight hug you were sharing. "good, missed you though." she confessed, placing a discreet kiss to your neck and releasing you from her hold.

the two of you had made a pact to try and not spend every waking minute with one another at trainings, given the fact you lived together and were practically together almost every minute of each day you didn't want it to put any strain on anything now you were playing together as well.

"so i've been meaning to talk to you about something." you started, standing above the blonde spotting her as you all focused on upper body for the last twenty minutes of the session. "and now is a good time?" your girlfriend heaved as she racked the bar up and caught her breath for a moment, sweat beading at her forehead.

"it's nothing bad baby i promise." you chuckled as she reached back up for the bar again and nodded for you to add extra weight on. "are you sure?" you questioned, holding your hands up in a silent apology at the firm look she sent you, adding an extra 5kg onto each end at her request.

"go on then." alessia encouraged, reaching up for the bar as you helped her to lift it, watching carefully as she did her reps. "mm?" you hummed, distracted by the way her arms rippled and flexed as she pressed.

"what did you want to speak to me about love?" alessia smiled, knowing exactly what had you so distracted, the exact reason she'd added on weight being to impress you anyway, not that after years of dating she even had to try.

"i bought a car." you announced casually but suddenly, eyes widening as alessia's arms suddenly dropped, the bar landing on her neck with a loud thump as you hurried to help her lift it back up onto the rack.

"lessi are you alright?" you squatted down, hands on her leg and eyes shining with concern as the blonde struggled to catch her breath, waving away a few of the trainers who wandered closer to check on her.

"you did what?" alessia managed to spit out, eyes locked with yours as you bit your bottom lip. "i bought a car?" you smiled innocently, helping your girlfriend to her feet as the timers sounded for everyone to switch. "and exactly why have you gone and done that?" alessia demanded, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring down at you as you took a seat on the bench.

"because i can?" you shrugged, laying down and gesturing for her to remove some of the weight, everyone instructed to start light and add on with more reps completed. "you don't need a car though." alessia continued, doing as you'd asked as you lay down and waited.

"everyone with a license can find a need for a car less." you laughed, knowing you were already getting under her skin and you'd barely put your plan into action. "not girls who have girlfriends who drive them everywhere." alessia reminded as you grabbed onto the bar, lowering it and beginning your first set.

"i cannot believe you'd just go ahead and do this without running it past me." alessia shook her head, scowl set deep into her features. "what like you consulted me before dropping almost four grand on a bag?" you challenged, eyes flickering up toward her as you racked the bar again.

"okay firstly, that bag was for you. secondly thats different to buying a car! where did you get it? what did you get? when does it come?" the striker fired question after question at you, adding on more weight as you commenced your second set.

"i'm a financially independent woman alessia i can spend my money on whatever i want. and technically i told you last week i was going to buy a car!" you reminded with a smile, racking the bar and catching your breath for a moment, arms burning.

"i thought that was a joke! and i told you that you weren't allowed anyway." alessia huffed, bright blue eyes staring down at you filled with irratation as you simply smiled up at her.

"and when have i ever done what you've told me to?"

~

"you're seriously not going to tell me anything about it?" alessia scoffed, hands tightening their grip on the steering wheel of her own car as she drove the two of you home. "nope." you popped the p with a grin, changing songs.

"hey i liked that one!" alessia complained with a frown, you rolling your eyes and skipping back to it as she smiled. "soak it in though." you added on, tucking your knees up to your chest as the taller girl gave you a confused look.

"soon enough my love you'll be here and i'll be there." you teased, gesturing to her seat and yours causing the blonde to let out a loud sarcastic bark of laughter. "oh baby you must have gotten too much sun today, you're so cute." alessia pouted mockingly as she turned the corner into your street.

"am i?" you smirked as she pulled into your driveway, slamming on the brakes seeing an unfamiliar car already parked in it. "you bought that?" alessia spat out, edging forwards to pull in next to the unfamiliar vehicle as you hummed, unbuckling yourself.

"oh no no no no. no fucking way you're getting behind the wheel in that!" alessia scoffed as the two of you slid out of her car, the blonde popping her trunk and grabbing out your kit bags.

"i already have, had to test drive it first!" you winked, sauntering toward the front door as alessia hovered behind, eyes roaming the sleek black porsche panamera parked in the driveway.

"how did it even get here?" alessia questioned, following you inside and dropping your bags by the door as you sat down to take your trainers off. "well baby when a mummy car and a daddy car love each other very much they-" you started to explain, cut off as alessia threw her own shoe at your head.

"james picked it up for me and dropped it off while we were at training, he works at the dealership so they gave me a sizeable discount too." you grinned, standing and heading toward the kitchen to start dinner hearing alessia follow after you.

for the next half hour she fired question after question your way, and you'd done your research so you were able to answer everything without a moments hesitation, only angering the blonde further.

"i actually cannot believe you. i'm going for a shower!" alessia scoffed, pushing herself up and storming off toward your bedroom, the door slamming after her.

with an amused smile you grabbed your phone and clicked call, settling in in between your shoulder and your ear as you continued to prep dinner, your older brother eventually answering after a few rings.

"it's perfect." you grinned right away, hearing his chuckle on the other end of the line. "i know. but i was serious if there is even the essence of any sort of scratch or mark or dent on it i swear to god you're dead." he warned seriously as you rolled your eyes, moving to toss the peppers into a pan.

"yes i know james i will take extra good care of your baby, i promised didn't i? why does everyone think i'm such a bad driver? the only reason i don't drive is because less actually won't let me!" you huffed, glancing over your shoulder to confirm your bedroom door was still closed, shower running in distance.

"you're an evil evil little woman sometimes." your brother sighed though you could hear his smile through the phone, the two of you always being incredibly close despite your six year age gap.

"she needs to learn her lesson one way or another! she's lucky i didn't actually buy a car." you grinned, switching your phone to the other ear as you began to cook off the vegetables in front of you.

"remind me again why you didn't?" he sighed, having loaned you his car for the next two days after much much begging on your behalf. "i don't really need one. i quite like having her drive me round everywhere, not that i'd ever tell her that." you admitted with a shrug.

"then pray tell why all this drama and winding her up for?" "well because i'd still like to drive the mercedes every now and then, and she won't let me!" "and you think this will make her more inclined to let that happen?" "yes, yes i do." "i hope its nice in this land of grand delusion you live in, i'll come visit at christmas." "ha, ha, ha. hilarious!"

the two of you spent a little more time catching up, organizing that james would collect his car from you on sunday after the match, himself and his fiance coming to watch you play.

you glanced up as you heard the bedroom door open, bidding your brother a quick goodbye and another quiet assurance you would be careful before ending the call.

"dinner's nearly done baby." you called out, your girlfriend ignoring you as she retreated to the living room and you heard the tv click on, shaking your head at her immaturity as you left her be and finished up cooking.

"kiss for the chef?" you held out her plate a few minutes later, the blonde sending you a glare and taking her plate, settling it on her lap and tugging her hood over her head as you smiled and took a seat beside her, the two of you eating in silence bar the sound of the tv in front of you.

having washed everything up and showered yourself you decided you were done with receiving the silent treatment, standing right in front of your stubborn blonde lover with a smile. "move." alessia grumbled, kicking at you half heartedly as you blocked her view of the screen.

"you're not seriously going to be moody all night over this are you?" you laughed, raising an eyebrow as the blonde shuffled across, craning her head to watch the tv past you as you sighed. "get off." alessia ordered as you flopped on top of her, moving to straddle her lap, arms locked around her neck tugging her hood down as she tried to move you off of her.

"lessi baby come on, you're being immature." you warned, playing with the baby hairs on the back of her neck with a coy smile. you could tell she wanted to argue that but chose to remain silent, folding her arms over her chest and leaning back into the lounge trying to put some space in between you.

"you know you can't stay mad at me, you're not even really that mad." you whispered in her ear, knowing exactly how to get her attention back on you as you pressed your face into her neck, tugging on her earlobe teasingly with your teeth.

you heard a quiet huff and a mumble for you to stop but you shook your head, shifting on top of her and softly kissing her neck a few times. "come on baby, talk to me." you whispered, grabbing her hands and forcing them to uncross, settling them on your hips as you pressed your forehead to hers.

"i'm simply just too gorgeous to ignore." you grinned, watching as the striker bit down on her bottom lip, clearly trying to stifle her smile as she tried to remain stoney faced.

"you're really gonna let a pretty girl sit on your lap, kiss your neck and not even smile at her? that's just bad manners baby." you tutted with a smirk, hands grabbing her face and forcing her to look up at you.

"i'm not sorry i bought it but i'm sorry i didn't tell you." you spoke, pecking her lips repeatedly until eventually her hands squeezed your hips, pushing you away slightly. "come on, you know i'm gonna look good driving it." you grinned, wiggling your eyebrows as the blonde finally cracked.

"you are truly truly insufferable to be in love with sometimes you know that?" alessia sighed, her hands sliding up the inside of your top and pulling you in closer again as your head dipped and you latched your lips to the sweet spot of her neck just below her jaw.

the blondes breath hitched and her fingers dug in tighter to your hips as your teeth sank into the warm skin, tongue running over the fast forming hickey to soothe the sting as alessia's right hand flew to the back of your head, pressing your face into her neck with a quiet demand you keep going.

"maybe, but you're still in love with me anyway."

~

you glanced up from your phone hearing your girlfriend yell your name from the front door, hearing her footsteps thump toward you as you zipped up your kit bag. "where are my keys?" alessia demanded, bright blue eyes menacingly staring you down.

"your keys? baby would i know where your keys are?" you played dumb, knowing exactly where they were given you'd hidden them before going to bed last night.

"i am only going to warn you once. go and get them, and give them to me. now!" alessia warned, scarily calm. "my love i would but i don't know where they are. and if we don't leave now we're going to be late, and i don't really fancy running laps for that today, do you?" you smiled, stealing a kiss as she scoffed and you made a beeline for the door.

"and just exactly how are we getting to training then genius?" alessia questioned, grabbing her bag from the dining room table, sighing heavily as you turned to her, smug smile on your lips as you twirled your own keys around on your finger.

"i'm driving, passenger princess."

~

"i can't deal with this much longer. i'm driving home!" alessia growled as she flopped down in the chair beside you, ready for video debriefing for their upcoming match against Everton in a couple days time.

"no you are not. i'm not allowed to drive your mercedes? you're not allowed to drive my porsche." you smiled as she sent you daggers, wanting nothing more than to smack the smug look right off your face.

"hey russo do you need your missus to straighten your chair for ya too?" katie teased, harshly kicking the back of the girls chair causing it to swivel round as she settled in behind you both, alessia having been teased all day by your team mates about the fact she'd been demoted to passenger princess, most of them already keyed into our plan.

"fuck off macca." your girlfriend grumbled spinning around again as you sent katie a beaming grin, the irishwoman winking at you and ruffling alessia's hair, yanking her hand back as the girl lunged at her.

"so less, tell us a bit about your first experience being cuffed by your woman? how does it feel to lose your lady balls?" jen turned around from in front of you and asked holding out a fake micrphone in the blondes direction, and if looks could kill the scot would be ten feet under.

"alright alright lay off her would ya!" beth stuck up for her national team mate who sent her an appreciative smile.

"besides girls the world needs passenger princesses, there's no shame in switching sides." the older girl added on with a wicked grin as alessia groaned and buried her face in her hands, jonas and the training staff clapping for everyones attention.

the onslaught of teasing continued throughout the rest of the session, alessia resorting to throwing her headphones on over her ears as she stormed out of the change room.

"you need to put that poor girl out of her misery, this is enough!" lia warned, pinching your leg as you whined and leaned into leah on your other side who wrapped an arm round you.

"yeah you made your point mate, time to give her a break." the older blonde agreed with her work wife, kissing the side of your head affectionately before pushing you away and standing.

"give her a break? need i remind you its normally me being relentlessly teased by everyone? if its not for the passenger princess status its for something else she's dropped me in!" you huffed, tugging your spray jacket on.

"ah to be young and in love." leah sang out, patting your head and again telling you to come clean as lia agreed, causing you to sigh deeply as you followed them out of the change rooms and toward the parking lot.

hugging both older women goodbye you wandered to where your girlfriend stood beside your brothers car, sour look on her face and headphones slung around her neck as her eyes searched for you, finally spotting you walk toward her.

you didn't unlock it at first, making a point to gently nudge her out of the way, allowing you to open her door for her with a charming smile. "only the best passenger princess treatment for you baby." you gestured for her to get in as she sighed but remained silent as she slid into the car and you closed the door after her.

"oh god lessi please no!" you groaned as you pulled out of the lot, country music filling the car as alessia connected to the blue tooth. "passenger princess chooses the music baby girl." alessia smirked, making a point to turn it up louder and start singing along as you rolled your eyes.

after an insufferably western drive home you sighed in relief as you parked up in the driveway besides your girlfriends white merc, smacking her on the leg with a frown as she called out that she missed it today, blowing the car a kiss.

the moment both your feet crossed the thresh hold of your shared home, the door closed and you squealed as alessia roughly pushed you against it. "so where are my keys then?" the taller girl quirked an eyebrow, smile playing on her lips as her body trapped you against the door.

"what if i could tell you something even better than that?" you challenged, tilting your head to the side making her sigh lightly. "or, you just tell me where they are, now." your girlfriend requested again, hands slipping up your top, her palm pushing against your abs holding you even tighter against the wood behind you.

"okay. firstly, they're in the wardobe under the shoe rack." you started as alessia sighed, raising an eyebrow as you continued. "secondly; i didn't buy a car." you grinned, your girlfriend stepping away from you with a frown, following after you as you moved around her.

"what do you mean you didn't buy a car?" alessia questioned, eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "i didn't buy a car." you shrugged and grabbed two protein smoothies out of the fridge, handing one to the blonde and pulling yourself up to sit on the counter.

"baby i'm going to need you to explain more than just those five words please." alessia sighed, moving to stand in between your legs. "that's not my car, it's james. he let me borrow it for a few days to teach you a lesson!" you smiled, taking a sip as alessia's jaw dropped.

"sorry, you what?"

"admit it, you didn't hate being a passenger princess and i look hot behind the wheel." you grinned, swinging your legs to and fro as your girlfriend looked on dumbfounded. "so let me check i'm following. that car, not yours?" alessia questioned as you hummed with a nod.

"alessia!" you laughed as she buried her face in your chest with a loud groan, the vibrating sensation somewhat ticklish. "thank god." the girl sighed, hugging you tightly as she remained bent over, her face pressed into your chest as you fondly carded your hands through her hair.

"you're not mad?" you smiled as she tilted her head up, chin resting on your sternum as she looked up at you. "oh i am furious, but also quite impressed? and a little bit dumbfounded that you managed that so easily." she sighed with a shake of her head, your hands still playing with her hair.

"never underestimate a woman scorned." you teased, your lips meeting hers in a tender kiss as alessia straightened up, arms wrapping around you, hands pressing into the small of your back and pulling your body as close into hers as she could get.

"but do you admit its not terrible to be a passenger princess sometimes?" you pulled away and raised an eyebrow questioningly. "its not terrible." alessia agreed as you grinned happily. "maybe i will give you some driving lessons in my mercedes, maybe." the taller girl agreed as your grin widenened.

"buzzin!" you mocked her thick accent causing her to pout. "i do not say that all the time!" she whined, head falling to your shoulder as your hand gently caressed the back of her neck.

"oh but my love, you really do." "if you only have the car till sunday i guess you can drive us to get breakfast tomorrow."

"buzzin!"

#alessia russo x reader #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso x reader #alessia russo #woso blurbs #engwnt #woso

[perpetual-fandom-brainrot]

Some CoD Hybrid Reader Drabbles

Hybrid reader stuff, if it's not your taste I recommend clicking off and finding something better to read (*cough cough* Temporary Relocation *cough cough*)

TW: Descriptions of violence and gore

Other than that mostly just fluff

I've gone down a rabbit hole (two kinds) and I can't help but think about some concepts I want to see interacting with this trope like...

If reader was a bunny hybrid, separated from their fluffle so just aimlessly wandering around. Used to having other bunny hybrids around to help with grooming/cleaning so you don't entirely know how to do that, either, at least not effectively. I imagine you wouldn't be found by the 141 while they're on duty, but rather one of them (or their family members) would find you while on leave. They'd take you in and take care of you, and start noticing just how good of a fight or flight system you have. Maybe with some good training, you'd make a good soldier...

If reader was a dog/wolf hybrid, kidnapped owned by some of the not necessarily best people in the world since only being a pup. In fact, these people end up being wrapped up in activities that the 141 ends up sticking their noses- and barrels- into. As they're stalking around the building where you're kept, making sure all of the targets are taken care of, they train their guns on you for a moment. It's when you back up quietly, whimpering with a raw and dehydrated throat, that they realize you aren't a threat. They unlock your prison kennel and tell you to move it before you're definitely a liability (whoever dictates this choice gets mega whooping from their higher-ups later). When they run into you again on the way out, finishing ripping out the esophagus of another target who would've otherwise interfered with exfil, that you're offered a position as a soldier. And you accept.

If reader was a cat hybrid who spent their time wandering streets, taking bites of abandoned food and finishing drinks long forgotten in order to survive, only for that very town to be the one Ghost and Soap arrive in while fleeing from Graves. You're crouched behind a dumpster when Graves is rounding up the cops, and even though you're bringing claws to a gunfight you can't stand to see him acting as judge, jury, and executioner. You find a Shadow nearby, not expecting anyone in their previous path to still be alive, and silently get their weapons off of them. You wait for your moment, using your intricate knowledge of the alleyways and buildings and rooftops to stay undetected, taking out the Shadows around Graves. You take an angle at Graves himself, jumping from a rooftop and landing on his shoulders, pulling his hair until he's stumbling backwards and you both fall into the fountain. You grab a beer bottle off of it and bash it directly over his head, making sure it shatters and knocks him unconscious. You scurry off, disappearing into the night before Soap has a chance to get down and speak to you, or even process what he just watched.

#141 #call of duty #cod #ghost #john soap mactavish #johnny mactavish #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod mwf2 #cod mw ghost #cod modern warfare #call of duty modern warfare 2 #mwii #call of duty modern warfare #task force 141 #tf 141 x reader #tf 141 #hybrid reader #bunny hybrid reader #dog hybrid reader #cat hybrid reader #soap x reader #ghost x reader #price x reader #gaz x reader #task force 141 x reader #cod x reader #drabbles #fluff

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

Take Care of You [9]

Sugar Daddy!Joel Miller x Female!Reader

Overall Warnings: slow burn, angst/comfort, power imbalance, age gap, possessive tendencies, eventual smut, #daddyissues, independent reader learns to let go and relax, emotionally constipated Joel Miller learns to be vulnerable; (more specific warnings to be added to individual chapters if necessary)

Chapter Word Count: 9,950

Mood board and borders by @saradika

Summary: You spent your entire adult life supporting yourself and barely getting by. It’s why a life of ease offered to you by a mysterious stranger sounded so foreign and unbelievable. Joel Miller, dressed in flannels that had seen better days, didn’t look like the kind who could promise you the world on a plate, but he seemed desperate to help out. All he asks is that you let him take care of you. That wouldn’t be so hard. Would it?

[a/n: we back, baby. and we also barely edited so if you catch a typo don't hate me. also this was supposed to end in a different spot but then i got carried away in the middle so i had to split it 🥴]

Chapter Specific Warnings: angst, heartbreak, binge drinking to ease emotional turmoil, mild violence, mentions of blood and injury

09: LET ME TAKE CARE OF YOU

"i still haven't figured out how to sit across from you, and not be madly in love with everything you do." ⏤ william c. hannon

Three years ago, Nima tried to convince you to go skydiving with her. She begged and she pleaded, but you told her ‘no’ on account of thinking she was a crazy person for wanting to jump out of a perfectly good plane. Which was hilarious now considering you were sitting beside Joel wanting to pull open the door and dive out. The irony was not lost on you.

The only reason you hadn’t gone scrambling for the door was because Joel was forced to take a work call a few minutes into the flight. He hadn’t moved away. Joel stayed right next to you with his arm behind you as he spoke, and every few moments he’d glance at you with a silent apology and shake his head. You’d reply with a tight lipped smile and go back to mindlessly scrolling through instagram. 

Unfortunately the mindlessly scrolling was not so mindless. Since leaving Vegas, you had a high pitch ringing in the back of your mind like an endless, echoing siren. Married. A married man. Joel was⏤ Your teeth were clenched together so hard you wondered if Joel could hear them grinding against one another. Yesterday had been filled with so much anxiety, and you had managed to work through it by the end of the night. Mostly. But this was worse. This was so much worse. 

Married?

Your throat suddenly felt tight, eyes stinging with unshed tears, and you hastily undid your seatbelt and stood. Joel glanced your way and you pointed to the back of the plane and mouthed the word ‘bathroom’ to him. He nodded with a soft smile, and you spun on your heel and practically sprinted to the tiny plane bathroom. You struggled to get the folding door shut and the stewardess who sat not far away stared at you in confusion. You gave her an awkward wave and finally got it latched. 

“Fuck.” You shoved your face in your hands, leaning against the wall, and held back your tears. You were confused and frustrated, and you couldn’t even find relief in a good cry because Joel would spot it in a heartbeat no matter how much you tried to put yourself back together. The thought of confronting him about this right now was your worst nightmare. You hadn’t had the time to process any of the wild thoughts pinging around your head yet.

Your mind was at war with itself. On one hand, maybe you were being stupid and naive. For the last month and a half you’ve spent nearly every day with Joel and on the days you weren’t actively seeing him the two of you would talk either over a call or through text. You knew Yo-yo for 24 hours. Sure, she seemed nice and sincere, but what if Rosalind sent her to screw with you? For all you knew, Yo-yo had cruel intentions and was trying to drive a wedge between you and Joel. By taking her word you’d be playing right into that trap. What she said about the other sugar baby and about Joel being married? Maybe it was all fake and you’ve been stressing for no reason.

On the other hand, Joel didn’t kiss you. He didn’t kiss you because he wanted to ‘do right by you’. Joel asked for time. Was it because he needed to get a divorce? Worse. Was he married with absolutely no plans to get divorced and just buying time for something else? 

God, if you kept up this line of thought you were gonna vomit. Quickly, you turned to the sink to splash a little cold water on your face in hopes it would help you get your shit together for the next thirty minutes. Half an hour and you’d be on the ground. But then what? It would be a miracle if you kept it together for thirty minutes let alone any longer. 

You took in a long, slow breath and tried to clear your mind. When you felt steady enough, you stepped out of the bathroom. As tempting as it was to hide in there for the rest of the flight, it would probably be a red flag for Joel that something was wrong. You wandered back over to Joel and at your approach, and at the sight of you, he covered the bottom of his phone and whispered, “You alright?”

“Mhmm.” You nodded quickly and sat back down.

“I’m sorry. Jus’ another minute.” 

You waved your hands at him as nonchalantly as you could and he went back to his call. You leaned back in the seat, phone in hand, and Joel readjusted his arm on the back of the seat so he could settle his hand on your shoulder. As he always did, his thumb was tracing circles on your shoulder. An action you always loved, but now an intrusive thought slammed into you⏤ does he do this with his wife? The question was so startling, so sickening, that you couldn’t bite back the nausea that rolled through your body. You jumped up so fast you nearly stumbled over your feet, and you scrambled for the bathroom. 

Vaguely, you heard your name behind you, but you didn’t stop until you reached the toilet. You fell to your knees and threw up. The taste of acid in your mouth made you wince, but getting it all up did bring some relief. That relief was short lived though as you felt a large, warm hand settle on your back.

“Jesus, sugar.” He said in a soothing voice as he rubbed your back. “What’s goin’ on? Have you felt sick all mornin’?”

You spat into the toilet bowl, trying to get the taste of bile out of your mouth, before reaching out and flushing the toilet. You tried to stand, and Joel hooked his arm around you to help you up. He called out of the bathroom and a second later the stewardess brought in a cup of water and a ginger ale. Joel handed you the water and kept his hand rubbing up and down on your back.

“I’m⏤ I’m fine.” You shook your head and took a sip of water to swish and spit into the sink. “Really.”

“Obviously not.” Joel replied. “C’mon, let’s sit you down.”

“Joel…” You tried to argue, but he wasn’t hearing it. He kept an arm around you as he carefully led you back to the seat. He brought the bottle of ginger ale with you and the moment you finished the water he took the cup out of your hand to replace it with the soda. “I feel better now. It’s fine.”

“You’ve been off this mornin'. I was worried.” Joel lifted a hand to feel your forehead. It made sense that Joel picked up on your distress. He had always been so good at reading you. “You seemed fine when we first woke up. When exactly did you start feelin' sick?”

You took a sip of the ginger ale, “I…I don’t know. After breakfast maybe.” You lied. The sincerity in his eyes, the concern in his voice, it was both bringing you comfort and making you sick again all at once. You felt so stupid. Either you were freaking out over a lie a woman you barely knew told you or you were being tricked into feelings by a married man. Either way, you felt pathetic. “Your, um, your work call, Joel.”

Joel shook his head in response and didn’t even bother addressing the work call he stopped. He set a hand on the back of your neck and his thumb was lightly ghosting over your skin. You closed your eyes and took a slow breath in and out through your nose. “Tell me what I can do, sugar.”

“I⏤” You swallowed the lump in your throat. You forced your eyes open, finding Joel’s furrowed brow and worried gaze already on you, and it made you want to cry. You shook your head, “I, um, I think I just wanna lay down for a while. If that’s okay.”

“Course it’s okay.” He replied. 

The seat the two of you were sharing wasn’t long enough for you to lay down without laying your head on Joel’s lap. You planned on moving to the other couch seats to lay down, but Joel’s hand was still on the back of your neck and he lightly began to guide you down. Too tired to even try and move, you settled your head on his thigh and curled your body up onto the rest of the seat. 

In any other situation, this would be one of the most comfortable spots on Earth. Your head rested on his thick, firm thigh, and Joel’s hand traced where he could reach. Up and down your jawline and neck⏤ his thumb and forefinger would occasionally massage your earlobe. You tried to calm your racing thoughts. The truth was, you didn’t know the truth yet. It was a fact you kept repeating in your head in hopes it would numb the sharp pain of your worst fears, but those intrusive thoughts continued to pummel you.

“I’m so sorry, baby girl.” Joel murmured while his fingers dragged across your skin. “What a shitty way to end this weekend.” You hummed in agreement. This really was a shitty way to close out what started as one of the best weekends of your life.

Avoiding Joel made you realize how involved in your life he was. After landing in LA, Joel tried to drag you to a doctor and only conceded when you told him it was probably a 24 hour bug and you just wanted to sleep. He called you later that night to check in on you, and you managed to talk to him for a few minutes before lying about wanting to go to bed early. Come Monday morning, you went to work despite Joel texting you that you should stay home. Trying to focus at work was physically painful. Enough so that after the nightmare Monday had been, you left midway through the day today claiming to Henry that you didn’t feel well. It wasn’t even a full blown lie. You felt like shit.

Nima threw the folder of papers onto her desk and set her hands on her hips, “I’m gonna hit him with my car.”

“Please don’t.” You mumbled with your chin resting in your palm as you leaned on the other side of her desk. After leaving work, you came directly to Nima’s office. Going home and sitting on your couch, alone with your thoughts, would only make you ten times more miserable.

“No, actually, my car isn’t big enough. I’m gonna commandeer a bus and hit him with that.”

“I haven’t confirmed anything yet. For all I know, I’m being this pathetic over nothing.”

Nima snapped her hand up and pointed at you with a glare, “No. I will not have you shit talking yourself when the only person we should be shit talking is Joel Miller and his wife.”

You groaned and let your head fall to the desk. The words ‘Joel Miller and his wife’ made you viscerally ill. The time you spent not talking to Joel Monday night you spent stalking people on social media. You reached dead ends very quickly though since Joel didn’t have any social media whatsoever. The easiest solution was to just look Joel in the eyes and ask him for the truth, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You wanted to know the truth, but you were scared to actually seek it out. 

If you asked Joel for the truth, if you confronted him, then he’d give it to you.

What if the truth was something you didn’t want to hear?

“Alrighty, babe, real talk.” Nima said and you lifted your head, keeping your chin resting on the wood, and saw she had dropped down into her office chair. To meet your eye line, she held her chin on the desk across from you to mirror your position. “I can threaten and plot his demise all I want, but I know I’m not allowed to kill him until this is confirmed or denied.” She twisted her lips. “You deserve the truth.”

You pouted, “How am I supposed to ask him about this, Nima??”

Her eyebrows furrowed in concern, “If you did ask… How sure are you that he’d answer truthfully?”

You pushed up and leaned back in the chair. That was a good question, and with anyone else it would probably be a real concern. However, you weren’t worried about that. You truly, deep down, believed that if you confronted Joel about this he would give you the truth. 

“I really think he would.” You answered. “Is that naive of me?”

“You know him better than I do.”

This entire situation made you question that. Did you know him? You knew he grew up in Austin. He had a younger brother, Tommy, and it was just them and his mom for most of his childhood. You knew he attended one year in college when his mom passed away⏤ cancer. Joel dropped out of college to take care of his brother and picked up a job in construction. That’s where he got his start. His first boss saw he had a knack for more than just the manual labor and trusted him with more and more until Joel was running sites for the man. At 27, Joel’s girlfriend of three months got pregnant. They planned to make it work, but she left when Sarah was two weeks old. You knew he adopted Ellie three years later. That he earned his bachelor’s degree in business at home through online classes while raising two young girls and working a full time job. That he started Miller Construction shortly after earning that degree, and it blew up from there.

You knew despite being a tough guy, he didn’t like horror movies.

You knew his favorite whiskey was Lagavulin⏤ neat.

The one thing you didn’t know was if he was married or not.

“I am going to suggest something,” Nima began, “And I want you to listen before you call me crazy.” You shot her confused look and she continued on. “I have this cousin.” You groaned and Nima chastised you to listen. It seemed like she had a cousin available for every situation that arose, and half the people she called cousin weren’t even technically related to her by blood. Anytime you asked her about it all she’d say was ‘Korean moms’ love to talk’, as if that clarified anything for you. “Seriously. He’s dating a private eye. With one text, we can get some answers.”

You shook your head, “Nima, that’s insane.”

“Is it?”

“Yes, hiring a private investigator is insane.” 

“Look, it’ll get us reliable answers.” Nima argued. “The truth.”

You rolled the idea around in your head. It was literally the epitome of paranoid absurdity, but you were wondering if that’s the point you were at. Would it be better to find out this way? That way when you finally did confront Joel you wouldn’t be blind sided by the answer. Hell, if the answer turned out to be ‘no, he isn’t married’ then you can chalk up the last few days as time wasted and move on with your life. That being said, it did seem like an invasion of Joel’s privacy. 

“That feels…” You paused, “Illegal?”

“It’s not illegal to hire a PI.” Nima countered then tilted her head. “I think. I’m not a lawyer, but people do it on TV all the time, right?”

“Well, that logic is foolproof.” 

“I’m not gonna do it if you tell me you don’t want to do it.” Nima said firmly. She crossed her arms and gave a small little shrug. “But you have to do something. Either this or just call him right now and tell him the two of you need to talk.” There was a protective sincerity in her eyes that felt like a security blanket being settled on your shoulders. “I don’t want to see you get more attached to this guy just to be hurt. I don’t want him to lie to you.”

You knew Nima only had your best interests in mind. Technically, Joel had given you no reason not to trust him. Half the time you thought on this topic you convinced yourself you were overreacting and being a pathetic, paranoid mess. Yo-yo, as nice and fun as she had been, was a virtual stranger to you. Her word shouldn’t trump Joel’s. You knew all of that, and you wanted to trust him. However, it felt like some broken part of you was looking for something to be wrong. Joel Miller was too good to be true. Why would someone like him be interested in someone like you? There had to be something else going on. According to your ex, you hadn’t even been worthy of him and Joel Miller was ten times the man he was. 

“Okay, do it.” You blurted and hated yourself for doing so.

Nima held your gaze for a second, but you pushed to stand and crossed her office to her private bathroom. You took one of the paper towels, dampening it, and set it on the back of your neck in a poor attempt to ground yourself. For a while longer, you just stood there in front of the sink. Not staring at yourself, but staring forward at a singular spot as your thoughts raced. You needed a positive thought. Just one would do, and you were prepared to drag it out of your thick skull kicking and screaming if necessary. 

“Everything is going to be okay.” You mumbled to yourself softly. 

The whispered words did nothing for your anxiety. However, the memory of him did. You found comfort looking back at the soft moments spent with Joel and let yourself fall down that rabbit hole. The temporary peace was nice, but it didn't last. Finding strength you didn’t know you had today, you splashed your face one more time and then left the bathroom.

Your eyes immediately landed on Nima who stared back with wide eyes. Nima spoke first, “What?”

“What?” You repeated. “I didn’t say anything.”

“Oh, I thought you said something.” Nima flipped her phone over and settled her hand on top of it. You glanced from her face to her phone and back again. A look of misery flickered across her features. You tilted your head in question. “Are you hungry? I’m hungry.”

“Nima.” You crossed the room quickly. “Did they already text back??”

“No. Yes. Maybe?” Nima shook her head. “Not exactly.”

“Nima.”

She twisted her lips and drummed her nails against the plastic case of her phone. You shot her another look and she blew out a sigh. “He sent me a response, but it’s like half an answer. Half a report. We should wait until he can⏤”

“What did he say?”

“Apparently, he’s working on a case for someone else right now and had a database right in front of him so all he had to do was type in⏤”

“Nima, please.” You blurted. It felt like your heart was caught in your throat. You couldn’t breathe and you didn't feel coherent enough to string together a thought. Her hesitance was an answer in and of itself. You rubbed your throat, your other arm wrapping around your torso in a poor attempt to hold yourself together, and gasped. “Just say it.”

“He’s married, babe.” Nima mumbled. You knew the words had been coming, but they still overwhelmed you. The air left your lungs as if someone had gut punched you and you fell back into the seat in front of her desk. “He said he’d send me the certificate when he could, but he has to finish this job first. I’m so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I⏤”

Nima stopped herself from speaking as she came around her desk and wrapped an arm around your shoulders. You sat in her embrace for as long as your shattering mind could endure and then shook your head, “I need a drink. Drinks. Plural.”

“It’s three in the afternoon, babe.” Nima mumbled in concern. You shot her a dry look and she offered you a tight lipped smile. “Drinks it is! Let’s go. We can go back to my place and⏤”

“No.” You pushed to stand. “I wanna go out.”

“Oh… kay. Where?”

“Anywhere.” You turned and began to leave.

Nima was scrambling to gather her belongings into her strawberry shaped purse before rushing out after you. “Just one drink though. I hate being the voice of reason, but we should limit ourselves to one drink.”

One drink turned into two which turned into three which turned into twelve.

By 6 PM, you were borderline wasted. It was by no means the best decision you’ve ever made, but you couldn’t classify it as your worst considering that, for the first time since leaving Vegas, you didn’t feel sad or defeated. No, those blue emotions had turned into a burning shade of red. You had finally found your anger and all it took was copious amounts of alcohol. 

“I mean, married?” You scoffed as you stood at the bar with Nima at your side. “That’s⏤ That’s illegal.” Nima nodded in agreement as she blindly tried to find the straw in her drink with her tongue. You reached out and pushed it toward her lips. “And worse than illegal! It’s fucking rude.”

“So rude.” Nima slurped at the last of her drink and all you could hear was the rattling of ice in her glass. She pulled away to slam the cup down and pointed at you⏤ her pink hair had been let down from the braid to messily rest around her shoulders. “You should get a new sugar daddy!” You stuck your tongue out in disgust and shook your head. “No! This is such a good idea.” Nima began to look around the bar. “Let’s find you a super hot, super not married sugar daddy.”

“I don’t want a new sugar daddy. I want another drink.” You leaned on the bar and waited for the bartender to look your way. Nima and you had bounced to a few bars. The two of you, back when you were sober, decided to start drinking in an area that had multiple bars all within walking distance. The one you were in now wasn’t familiar to you⏤ it wasn’t a place you and Nima had been to before. It was a bit too upscale for your liking. Sober you would not have been a fan. Drunk you? Loving it.

Nima was tapping on your shoulder rapidly and when you looked her way she was pointing across the bar to God knows who. “He looks like he wouldn’t marry someone without your permission.”

“That’s,” You shook your head, “not my situation.”

“Isn’t it?”

“I don’t know.” You shook your head and looked back toward the bartender who was busy with a group of women further down the bar. The sound of vibrating vaguely filled the air and you leaned closer to Nima who immediately wrapped her arms around you in a hug. “You’re vibrating.”

“You’re vibrating.”

You found her purse and opened it so you could rifle through it. It dawned on you then that somewhere around bar two and drink five you had shoved your phone in her purse for safe keeping. When you finally managed to pull it out, Joel’s face was flashing on the screen and you yelped in surprise. You tossed the phone onto the bar and held your face between your hands.

“Oh, no. Oh, no, no.” You shook your head and the vibration stopped. Joel’s picture disappeared and was replaced with a notification of a missed call that joined the notification telling you that you had unread messages. Your eyes snapped to Nima who was trying to drink out of her empty cup again. “Joel.”

“Bastard man.” Nima edited.

“Dinner.” You grimaced. “At 7. I’m supposed to get dinner with Joel at 7. It’s 6:35.”

Nima shook her head and crunched the ice she had shoveled into her mouth, “Bastard man can go to dinner with his wife tonight.”

 You grimaced, “I hate all the words you just used.”

The bartender began to wander over and Nima turned to order more drinks. You picked up your phone and leaned against the bartop with your elbow. With a frown and furrowed brow, you opened your text messages. Every unread text was from Joel unsurprisingly. The first came in at 4:29 and it was a simple, ‘Hey sugar, I’m excited to see you tonight’. The next was almost exactly an hour later and it said, ‘Hope your day’s been alright. We still on for tonight?’. Finally, the most recent at 6:15, was just your name with a question mark.

You set the phone back down before the temptation to reply could overcome you. It only sat on the bartop for a second before it began to vibrate violently as another call came in. Joel’s face filled the screen and you felt a wave of sadness drag you under. The fact that you were mourning the lack of his presence to this degree was probably a sign you were doing this ‘sugar baby’ thing very wrong.

“Maybe I should answer it.” You voiced the thought aloud.

Nima caught it and gasped before slapping her hand on top of the still buzzing phone, “No, ma’am! You will not be doing that.” The bartender set two new drinks between the two of you. Nima pushed one in front of you and moved the straw to point directly at you. “Drink.”

You took a sip then spoke, “I don’t even know the whole story⏤” Nima pushed your face back to the straw so you took another long sip. “Maybe it’s a misunderstanding…” This time your lips found their way to the straw on their own accord and you took a sip that could be argued as dangerously long. “I need to talk to him. Confront him. Demand answers.”

“Yes. To all of that. Eventually.” Nima replied with a nod. She reached forward and bopped you on the nose with her finger. “But not tonight.”

“Why not?”

“Because I know one thing in life,” Nima held up the one finger she used to bop your nose, “You do not have serious conversations while drunk.”

You shook your head with a pout, “I thought you said you don’t like being the voice of reason.”

“If it means helping you, I’ll always lean toward reason, babe.” 

The two of you went back to drinking. Your vibrating phone stopped and a few seconds passed before a notification for a voicemail popped up. You turned to Nima, “Can I listen to it? That’s not talking. That’s listening.”

Nima chewed on her straw slowly before bobbing her head in an affirmative nod, “I shall allow it.”

You picked up the phone to listen to the message he left you.

‘Hey, sugar.’ Joel’s voice rumbled over the line and you felt your chest physically ache at the sound. You closed your eyes in annoyance with yourself. If you hadn’t fallen so hard, so fast for this man you wouldn’t be in this scenario to begin with. ‘Gotta say I’m a little worried. Haven’t heard from ya all day. Gimme a call when ya get this.’

You groaned and set your head down on the bar. Guilt gnawed at you. It felt childish of you to be ghosting him like this, and that wasn’t your typical go to move. You had enough respect for the people in your life to address them when needed rather than hide behind voicemail. With the guilt was a swirling vortex of anger. You were angry at Joel for not being up front with you. You were angry at Yo-Yo for being the one to plant the initial doubt that started all this. You were angry at yourself most of all. Angry that you felt guilt at all, angry that you had foolishly placed so much trust in a man you barely knew, angry that despite everything there was still a part of you that craved his presence. You missed his touch and his voice. You missed those burning brown eyes and the way his very glance could melt you into a puddle.

“You okay, babe?” Nima’s voice asked softly. You shook your head without lifting it. “I’m sorry. I can break his knee caps if you want?”

“What?” You lifted your gaze.

“What?” She replied innocently. 

The phone began to vibrate again startling you. He had just called so you didn’t expect him to call again, but then again you were supposed to be in your apartment waiting for him to pick you up for dinner. You pictured him standing at your door dressed up and holding a bouquet of flowers. Nausea rolled over you in waves, and you grabbed your mixed drink thinking it could cure your troubles.

A few minutes passed before another voicemail was left. You snatched your phone up and shoved it back into Nima’s purse so it would be out of your line of sight⏤ not even bothering to listen to the second voicemail. Tomorrow, you decided. Tomorrow you would confront Joel and have this difficult conversation. You both finished the drinks in front of you as the lively bar continued to thrive around you.

“Why is he married?” You asked suddenly. Nima must have known it wasn’t a question you expected an actual answer to as she stayed silent. You rested your face in your hands and sighed. With your eyes closed against your hands like this you began to feel dizzy. A sure sign that you should stop drinking. Nima rubbed your back soothingly and you dropped your hands to shoot her an appreciative glance. “You’re the best best friend a girl could ask for.”

“I know, babe. And you know what else I know?” Nima squished your cheeks together with a wide grin, “You deserve the universe in a gold hand basket, and any man who can’t see that or who would play games with your big, loving heart doesn’t deserve you.”

You laughed and Nima chuckled herself before letting go of your face to pick up her empty glass. Her tongue struggled to find the straw but once it did she tried to take a big gulp only to get drops and air. Nima pulled away from her straw and furrowed her brow, “Who finished my drink?”

With another laugh, you raised your hand to order two more drinks. At this point you’ve already had so much to drink, what would one more hurt? You knew the hangover tomorrow was going to be a bad one, but a part of you was looking forward to it. There would be no mourning Joel tomorrow if your head hurt too much to even think his name. 

Nima successfully managed to distract you again as she drunkenly delved into a story you weren’t quite following, but you enjoyed the way she told it. A low whistle interrupted the moment of peace the two of you had found. You glanced past Nima to see two men in business suits wandering over. Nothing about them stood out to you. One was brunet and the other blond, but they both looked like they never grew out of the frat lifestyle on a college campus.

“We saw you two pretty ladies from over there and wanted to come and offer you our company.” The blond greeted smugly.

Nima turned in her seat to face him and waved her hand at him while taking a long sip of her drink until the ice rattled in the glass. Then she pulled the straw out of her mouth to finally speak with a shake of her head, “Sorry, we don’t speak english.”

“You just said that in English.” The blond chuckled.

“Sorry, sorry.” Nima waved her hand once more. “I don’t understand your accent.”

You snickered under your breath while chewing on your straw. The brunet stepped forward to stand side by side with the other and shook his head, “No need to be a bitch. We just wanted to talk.”

“Oh, you haven’t even begun to see bitchy yet.” Nima pointed her glass in their direction⏤ a bit of ice sloshing out with the exaggerated movement. “I can show you bitchy.” She reached back to swat at your arm. “Tell them, babe.”

“She can.” You nodded in agreement.

The blond set a hand on his friend’s shoulder and tugged him back, “Let’s just go, man.”

The brunet reluctantly let himself get dragged away, but he continued to stare at you and Nima the entire time. Nima spun in her seat and scoffed, “Where was I before I was interrupted by douchebag one and douchebag two?”

“I’m not gonna lie,” You shrugged, “I have no idea.”

“I’ll pick a place then.” Nima said and jumped into the middle of her story. “So, there I was covered head to toe in honey.”

Same as before, you really couldn’t keep track of her tale but it amused you all the same. The two of you chatted for another minute or two before a new face came across the two of you again. Nima had bounced in her seat, excited, and it knocked her strawberry shaped purse to the floor. Your phone clattered out. Before you could climb off the bar stool to grab it, a man passing knelt down and scooped it up. In one tanned hand he grabbed the purse and in the other your phone. The phone’s screen lit up and you swallowed at the sight of the multiple missed messages all from the same person. 

“Oh.” The man cleared his throat and straightened his stance. He was handsome with a kind face. Dark hair, a bit on the longer side, was messily pushed back and it matched the scruff on his upper lip and chin. The man wore a pink button up shirt, all the buttons undone, over a white t-shirt. “I suppose this is yours, miss?”

You begun to reach out, “Thanks⏤”

“Hold it!” Nima pointed at the man making his dark, brown eyes widen. “State your intentions, sir!”

“To…return your purse?” He lifted up the strawberry bag.

Nima narrowed her eyes at him and snatched it away, “Likely story.”

“Thank you.” You reached out and he handed the phone over to you. A glance down revealed four missed calls, two unheard voicemails, and five texts. You winced at the sight and set your phone face down on the bar. You were surprised to see the man still standing by your stools. “You…” You narrowed your eyes at him. “You look familiar. Have we met before?”

He chuckled and shook his head, “Afraid not, ma’am.”

It was sitting on the tip of your tongue, but your foggy brain just couldn’t quite grasp it. Nima snapped her fingers and pointed at him. “I got it. He’s that guy.” You lifted an eyebrow at her words and she nodded frantically. “Yeah, he’s that actor! You play in that one show with, like, the zombies or whatever, right?”

“Not at all.” He laughed with a shake of his head. “I ain’t no actor.”

“Well then, I’m out of guesses.” Nima grumbled. She tilted her head, looking him up and down once more, “You seem nice enough. Got a pretty face. You rich? You wanna be a sugar daddy? She’s in the market.”

You rolled your eyes, “Nima.”

“You’re in the market for a sugar daddy?” The man asked in shock. You could hardly blame the man for his confusion and disbelief. This was hardly a normal bar conversation. “Really?”

“No. She’s just drunk.”

“Irrelevant.” Nima argued.

You chuckled then introduced yourself and Nima. The man paused for a beat before nodding and offering you his hand. “Nice to meet you both. My name is Tommy.” It took a second to click, but once the name finally wormed its way through your mind your eyes widened. Tommy chuckled and answered your unspoken question, “Yeah. I am.”

Nima glanced between you two with a frown, “Hold on, I’m not following. You are what? You’ll be her new sugar daddy?”

“No way in hell.” Tommy grinned. “If I even thought 'bout it, my brother’d skin me alive.”

The look on Nima’s face stayed confused until you swallowed the lump in your throat and finally spoke, “It’s… Nima, this is Joel’s brother.”

Her face remained frozen before morphing into one of shock. She gasped, almost comically, and pointed at him. “Oh, fuck.” Her eyebrows furrowed into a glare. “You son of a bitch, your brother is a son of a bitch!”

Tommy didn’t pay her outburst any mind, but his eyes darted back to you. “I asked my brother to come out drinkin' with me tonight, but he said ‘no’ cause he had a date with you.” Tommy stuck his hands into his pockets. “Funny I’m findin' you here without him.”

“That’s because your brother is too busy with his wife to be with my girl!”

Tommy’s eyebrows furrowed in surprise and he glanced back to you, “He already told you about her?”

It was quite possibly the worst string of words you could have heard all day. Only in competition with Nima’s ‘He’s married, babe’. You felt nauseous and dizzy⏤ the breath stolen from you again. Nima was arguing with Tommy, you could hear her voice, but you couldn’t concretely understand a single word that was said. When you finally managed to get a handle on reality, you looked back to see things had fallen apart and more time than you realized had passed in your mental breakdown. 

The blond and brunet from earlier, in the suits, had come back and were somehow arguing with Tommy and Nima now. You suddenly began to regret the last two drinks you had. Maybe if you had gone with a couple glasses of water instead you’d be able to puzzle out exactly what was going on right now.

“Get the hell outta here. They ain’t interested.” Tommy snapped.

“Just curious as to why we weren’t good enough for these bitches and you were.” The brunet slurred his words. Tommy stood a step in front of Nima who had slid off her bar stool to stand in front of you with her hands on her hips. “What’s so special about you, bub?”

“Ugh. How about the two of you run off to the bathroom and jack each other off, huh? Then leave us the fuck alone.” Nima sneered.

“Shut your damn mouth!” 

The blond tried to push past Tommy toward Nima, but Tommy shoved him back immediately. He grabbed the guy by the collar. “You gonna charge at a woman like that? Fuckin' coward.” Tommy’s voice came out in a gravelly growl that reminded you so much of Joel that it was staggering. “You got a problem, you take it up with me.”

The next moment happened fast. The blond tried to swing out at Tommy so Tommy blocked it with his elbow before tackling the man to the ground. The brunet grabbed Nima and wrapped his arms around her. She howled in anger and squirmed in his arms trying to find purchase to hit him. The brunet spun so his back was to you and you slid off the stool. Without pause, without thought, you picked up your empty glass and smashed it to the back of the man’s head. He released Nima, crumpling to the ground with a groan, and any shred of a fight stopped⏤as did the entire bar.

Tommy was kneeling on the ground pinning the blond while Nima stood off to the side.

“Oh my God.” Nima squealed, amused.

“Oh my God.” Tommy blurted, impressed.

“Oh my God.” You gasped, shocked at your own action.

You were panting, damn near hyperventilating, as the brunet began to rise on shaky limbs. Other patrons nearby converged on the scene to help out and before you knew it you were being ushered off to the side where a few couches and seats sat in a lounge area. 

“You’re such a badass.” Nima gushed from beside you. "How’s your hand??”

“Hurts.” You mumbled and stared down at the white cloth wrapped around your hand. Bright red was beginning to seep through. The consequences of smashing glass against the back of someone’s skull. Police had shown up and you knew Tommy was across the room talking to them. But still, your eyes stayed glued on your hand. The cuts weren’t terrible but they stung something awful.

“Babe?” You finally looked up and met Nima’s concerned eyes. She nodded, “You alright?”

You shot her a small smile, “Yeah. Are you okay? I can’t believe he grabbed you.”

“I’m fine.” Nima peeked at your hand then stood. “I’m gonna see if this bar has a real first aid kit we can use. Be right back.”

She jumped up and jogged over to the bar. You sunk in your seat with a sigh and leaned your head against the back of the couch. There had been something very sobering about smashing the glass against that guy’s head. The adrenaline and pain cleared any lingering fog from your previous drinks right out of your head. It left room for you to think about Joel. Meeting his brother certainly didn’t help. Tommy clapped one of the officer’s on the shoulder with a smile and they went separate ways. You lifted your head when you heard his footsteps draw near.

“Well, I spoke to the police.” Tommy stuck his hands into his pockets. “You’re not gonna get in trouble for the, you know, the glass. Won’t have to go downtown with ‘em.” You breathed a sigh of relief. Tommy held your gaze for a few more seconds before scrunching his nose and bobbing his head toward you. “And Joel is, uh, on his way.”

You covered your face with your good hand and groaned, “Can I please just be arrested instead?”

“Sorry, no can do.” Tommy sat down beside you. “You know, I didn’t say it earlier, but it’s nice to finally meet you. Joel never shuts up about you.”

“Please. Don’t.” You blurted. “I can’t… I can’t talk about him right now.”

Tommy nodded, “Right. I, uh, when I called him we didn’t talk much.” He laced his fingers together and rested his arms on his knees. “I mentioned you were hurt and things kind of spiraled from there. That’s probably for the best though. I don’t wanna get in between a lover’s quarrel⏤”

“I’m not his lover.” You snapped, and you hated the way your voice cracked. You shook your head, “Not if he’s married. Not…” The adrenaline was beginning to wear off and you were exhausted to your very bones. “This is so fucked up. I never should've agreed to…

Tommy didn’t immediately reply. He sighed, “I don’t know you, and I don’t got the exact details of what’s going on right now, but… I’m glad you agreed.” He turned and met your gaze with a tight smile. “Joel’s been… He’s been better. Joel was in a rut for a long time. So long that I kind of forgot he was in one. For a while, that was just Joel.” Tommy’s smile grew as he chuckled. “But ever since the two of you met, it’s like this weight has been lifted from his shoulders. We’ve all noticed it, and we’re all thankful.”

  “He’s married.” You whispered. “And he didn’t tell me.”

Tommy rubbed the back of his neck, “I know, but it’s⏤ it’s not that simple.” He nervously chewed on his lower lip. “Can you just give him a chance to explain?” You flexed your hand and sucked in a sharp breath as pain lanced up your arm. “Consider it a favor for me.”

“A favor for you?” You snorted.

“Yeah. I kept you out of prison, remember?” Tommy joked.

You cracked a smile and Tommy’s smile widened in victory. Nima skipped back over and dropped into the seat on your other side. She pulled your hand into her lap and carefully unpeeled the cloth away. As Nima rewrapped your hand while Tommy criticized her technique and the two bickered over you. You couldn’t help but flex your hand when she finished.

“Come on, pinkie.” Tommy stood. “I’ll take you home.”

“Uh, I am not leaving my girl here alone.”

“Joel will be here soon.”

“Then I’m definitely not leaving her alone!”

You reached out to squeeze her wrist and gave her a reassuring nod, “I’ll be okay. Gotta talk to him eventually, right?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t have to be right now.” Nima argued. You pulled her into a hug to reassure her once again. Maybe this was a bad idea, but you had just smashed a glass against a guy’s head so the degree of your bad ideas couldn't possibly get worse. Nima sighed and stood up too. “Okay. You’re sure you’re fine?”

Tommy clapped his hands. “Joel’s a few minutes away. But we can stay until he gets here if you want.”

“No.” You shook your head. The thought of being alone for a minute was kind of nice. “You guys go.” Your eyes locked onto Nima. “If you’re okay with him driving you.” You glanced at Tommy. “No offense.”

He held his hands up in surrender and shrugged nonchalantly. Nima nodded, “We survived a bar brawl together. We’re bonded.” She grinned and pulled her strawberry purse around her shoulders. “Plus, worse comes to worse, I can stab him.”

“You can what now?” Tommy questioned.

“You’ve already offered me a ride. It’s too late to back out now.”

“Fine, pinkie.” Tommy waved her to follow. 

You watched them go and sunk in your seat. The sounds of the bar was decent background noise, but it wasn’t enough to drown out the noise in your head. You picked at the edges of the gauze wrapped around your hand. Your eyes felt heavy and if you weren’t careful you were going to pass out on this bar couch surrounded by strangers. It was the sound of a crash that startled you back into the moment, and when you looked up from your hand you realized the door had been thrown open hard enough to hit the wall. Joel stood in the doorway panicked and wild eyed. He wore a suit without the tie and his shirt was unbuttoned at the top.

You stayed silent, sinking further into your seat, and watched as Joel’s wide eyes scanned the room. His gaze finally landed on you, doing a double take, and when he realized where you were you saw his shoulders slump in relief. Joel jogged across the room until he was able to kneel down in front of you. Joel’s warm hands found your face, cupping it softly, as he sighed, “Sugar, what the hell is goin' on? Are you okay?” Joel’s eyes studied your face then glanced down at your hand. “Jesus, your hand. Tommy called me. Sugar, I⏤”

“I’m okay.” You whispered, throat growing tight, “I just wanna go home, Joel.”

Joel tensed and he nodded, “Yeah. Alright. Let’s get you home.”

The ride in the truck beside Joel may have been the most awkward and tense ride of your entire life. It was silent. The only sound coming from the road outside. Joel’s hands were white knuckled around the steering wheel. You assumed his tension had something to do with you ghosting him this evening. His truck pulled up outside your apartment complex and your alcohol soaked brain realized not only did you not have your keys but you also no longer had your phone. Both were sitting in Nima’s purse right now.

You opened the door fully prepared to sleep outside your apartment on the welcome mat like a lost dog, but Joel grasped you by the arm cautiously to hold you in place. “You got your key?” You twisted your lips knowing he wasn’t going to fall for a lie. “Where is your key?”

“With Nima.” You mumbled. “She has my phone too.”

Joel sighed and let go of you to instead grab the truck door and shut it. He buckled you back into the seat and began to drive once more. You wanted to ask where he was taking you, but none of the words would come out. You drowned in your indecision while picking at the bandage on your hand. Joel suddenly reached over and lightly pushed your hand away from the injury.

“Stop pickin' at it, sugar.”

“Where are we going?” You blurted.

Joel shifted in his seat, “My place.”

“I don’t wanna go to your place.” You mumbled.

“Don’t care.” Joel replied gruffly and you lifted your head to glare at his side profile. 

The tone of his voice stirred something inside you, and you felt the dormant anger start to reawaken. It had gotten buried under everything that happened, but now it was back full fledged. You sat up, “Take me back. I want to go home.”

“You don’t have your key.”

“I don’t care.” You snapped. “Take me home, Joel!”

“You’re comin' to my place where I know you can safely sleep it off, 'nd then tomorrow we’ll figure out how to get ya back into your apartment. Understood?”

You scoffed, “Don’t talk down to me. I’m not a child, Joel.”

“Oh, you’re not?” Joel scoffed. His tone was angry and frustrated. “Cause you’re sure as hell actin' like one.” He shot a glare in your direction before focusing back on the road. “Are you outta your goddamn mind?! Do you know how worried I was?” You crossed your arms and stared out the passenger window. “I don’ hear from you all day long. You disappear on me with no explanation 'nd then I get a call from my baby brother that you’ve been in a bar fight? And that you’re hurt?!” You stayed silent and Joel scoffed. “And now I get the silent treatment? Very mature.”

“You don’t want to argue with me on what’s mature, Joel.” You said, head whipping back to glare at him.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean??”

“You’re a hypocrite!”

“Excuse me?”

You scoffed, “It’s not very mature for a married man to pay a sugar baby for attention.” Joel hit the brakes and the seat belt caught you as the truck screeched to a stop. You glanced out the window to see his truck had reached a neighborhood and the streets were mostly void of other vehicles. When you turned back to Joel, you found him staring at you in a mix of shock and horror. You shook your head, “What was I, Joel? Some kind of midlife crisis?”

Pain could be seen through the horror, and he reached out to grab your wrist again. “No. No, that’s not…” Joel’s voice was hoarse and broken. He whispered your name. “Please. That’s not what this is.”

You tugged your arm away from his grip. “I don’t wanna talk about this right now, Joel. Either start driving again or I’m gonna get out.”

Joel kept his hands to himself as he slowly went back to driving. As if the awkward silence hadn’t been painful before it was downright agonizing now. You were pressing your thumb into the wounds of your palm just to try and keep from crying. Joel pulled into the driveway a few minutes later, and you couldn’t even get your brain to collect a single feature of the house in front of you. Joel jumped out of the truck and you stayed frozen. The passenger door opened but Joel didn’t move to pull you out. He held the top of the door frame and a foot rested on the running board so he could lean in just marginally.

“Sugar…”

“Don’t, Joel.” You said firmly. “Don’t.”

“Please just let me⏤”

“Are you married?”

Joel’s face crumpled in agony and he hung his head, “It’s… It’s not that simple. Just let me⏤”

“It’s a yes or no question.” You shrugged and tried to ignore the tears welling up in your eyes.

Joel looked like he was on the verge of a panic attack. His eyes were squeezed shut, but he still refused to answer. You whispered his name. Finally, he lifted his gaze back to you and opened his mouth. His jaw hung open silently for a second before he could speak. “...Yes.”

You felt the tears lingering at the waterline drip down your cheeks and hastily began to wipe them away with your hands. Joel gasped and began to reach out but when you flinched he held back. He shook his head, “You’re bleedin'.”

The bandage around your hand was soaked with blood, probably from digging your thumb into the wounds, and when you felt your cheek with your fingertips they came back tinted red. You must have smeared it across your face. 

“Sugar, let me… let me take you inside.” Joel murmured. “Please. I know you’re… upset, 'nd you have every reason to hate me right now, but… just let me get you inside.” His hand reached out for you once more, but he stopped himself. “You can leave in the mornin', but for tonight just⏤ just let me take care of you. Please.”

You gave a small nod. It felt weak of you, but you reassured yourself that you had little to no other option. Your hand hurt, your head ached, you were exhausted to your very being, and deep down you were torn between wanting to yell and scream or curl into a ball and cry. Joel took a few steps back to allow you to climb down yourself, but when you wavered his arms shot out to try and steady you. Joel herded you toward the front door without actually touching you. 

Your eyebrows furrowed when you studied his front porch. The entire front of his house didn’t look like the typical rich LA style you were accustomed to seeing. In fact, his porch and front door reminded you of a quaint farmhouse. Joel unlocked his front door and held it open for you to walk in. Right inside the house, the foyer had an open style with a set of stairs pressed against the wall just up ahead. It opened straight into a large living room that evolved into a dining room with a matching open kitchen to the side. The entire back wall by the kitchen and dining area was made of glass but the back porch lights were off so you couldn’t see the view. 

Joel tossed his keys into a bowl sitting on an accent table against the wall right by the door. You glanced over to a little bench built into the wall on the other side beneath a set of bay windows. The rest of his furniture from what you could see was modern and plain. You were drunk off alcohol and misery, but your brain was still able to take the time to note that Joel’s furniture didn’t match what you imagined him to have.

“C’mon.” Joel motioned you up the stairs. He followed after you and when you reached the top of the stairs he pointed to the left. You stepped into the master bedroom and Joel slid in past you moving straight toward the master bath. While he rooted around for something, you glanced around his room. There was a king sized bed sitting in the middle of the room covered in dark green sheets. A window sat on either side of the bed. The wall to the right was where the bathroom door and the closet door sat, but on the left was a single loveseat pushed against the wall. All the furniture was dark brown including the large dresser against the wall by the door and the smaller bedside drawers on either side of the bed under the windows. You drifted toward one of the bedside drawers where a photo was propped up. It was of Joel and two young girls. Joel had shown you enough pictures of Sarah and Ellie for you to recognize them, but in this photo all three of them were significantly younger. 

The sound of a throat clearing made you look up to see Joel standing there with a first aid kit in hand. “Sit down for me?” You sat on the side of the bed and Joel sat beside you. He opened the kit then carefully unwrapped your hand. When he saw the three lines haphazardly cut into your palm he let out a soft hiss. “You hurtin' much?”

“It stings some.” You mumbled. He hummed in response and used an alcohol swab to clean up the cuts. Joel did so with soft touches and his eyes flickered to your features every second or so to check in on your status. You locked your jaw to bite back any sounds of pain that tried to slip out. 

“They look bad, but I don’ think they’ll need stitches.” Joel thought out loud. 

“Good.” You said. Joel grabbed some fresh gauze and began to wrap it around your hand. You studied his features as he focused so intently on the task at hand. His warm gaze was burned into your skin as his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. You had the urge to trace your fingers through the scruff along his jawline. When he finished, he lifted his gaze and his eyes locked with yours. The two of you stared at one another in tense silence. Pain and longing filled his brown eyes, and you wondered if it could somehow just be a reflection of your own. It made no sense for you to both be so miserable right now. “Where is she?”

Joel tensed, “What?”

“Where is your wife?” You asked more firmly. 

“Are you sure you wanna get into this tonight?”

“I just want answers, Joel.” You sighed. “I need something. My mind has been a mess since we left Vegas.” Joel’s face crumpled as he closed his eyes with a sigh. “Yo-yo told me I wasn’t your first sugar baby and then she said you were married to your first sugar baby.” The words were falling out like pouring water now. “And then Nima has a cousin who has a cousin who has a friend or something that was able to find your marriage certificate⏤”

Joel murmured your name in reverence and opened his eyes. He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you from the start. That way there’d be no miscommunication or confusion. I meant to. But… I kept puttin' it off 'nd it got to the point where too much time had passed…” Joel hesitantly reached out for you and when you didn’t shy away he settled his hand on your arm. “I did have a sugar baby before you. It’s a… long story, but I am not married to her.” 

Your eyebrows furrowed, “You didn’t marry her?”

“No. Absolutely not. She was… Like I said, it’s a long story.” Joel squeezed your arm. “One that I promise to tell you. In the mornin', when you’re not half drunk 'nd half hungover all at once.”

“Then who the hell are you married to, Joel?”

“I… I am technically still married to Celina.” Joel finally spat the words out. You shook your head in confusion. The name was foreign to you, but Joel heaved another sigh and added, “Sarah’s mom.”

taglist (closed):

@weddingfairy @bfences @jasminedragon @biwitchy @huffle-punk @shelbyteller @anoverwhelmingdin @aheadfullofsteverogers @stagerightlauren @basicoccult @boofy1998 @farintonorth @thepascalofus @amatis-gray @casa-boiardi @northernbluess @jettia @sapphicsoie @spidey-3 @hrtsforpascal @gingersince97 @sentients17 @bigboiseason123 @lunxramour @ktheunready @heyheyheygaypay @keepingupwiththeskywalkers @adoringanakin @come-hell-or-eldren-fire @cherriebat @whitewolfstar01 @alyssa121611 @asreadbyaj @painfullyandprettypoetic @cantobightcafe @str84pedro

[previous][next]

✨J.M. Masterlist✨

#joel miller #sugar daddy!joel miller x reader #sugar daddy!joel miller #tlou fanfiction #the last of us fanfiction #joel miller x you #joel miller x reader #female reader #reader insert #take care of you

[veryberryjelly]

spare key

pairing : tara carpenter x fem!reader

🎃 - reading by an open window

👻 - " did i scare you ? " " ...no?"

𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐦𝐞

tara had definitely been a little bit more jumpy since the ghost face attacks.

you had stopped surprising her with hugs from behind because the last time you did she screamed.

you hadn't used your spare key to her place since either because you didnt want her to think someone was breaking in.

but you were too tired to really acknowledge all of those factors right now.

you had just gotten back from the library after studying all day and all you wanted to do was collapse into bed with tara.

so you fished your key to her apartment from your front pocket, slotting it into the lock and pushing it open.

with sam out and quinn gone for good, the entire flat was silent as you made your way through, setting your bag down on the kitchen counter.

" tara ?" you called out through the living space, sliding your shoes off and putting them by the door as you made your way towards her room. you found her perched on her window seat with her nose in a book and a pair of headphones over her ears.

ever since the last break in, tara was insistent on doing everything with a view of an exit, so this wasnt the first time you had found her like this.

when you pushed her door open further, you saw her jump slightly, her book dropping to her lap as she pulled her headphones off.

" sorry, did i scare you..?" you questioned as she walked into her room, shutting the door behind you.

there was a brief pause before she spoke up.

"...no." she replied, settling her headphones on her neck before pausing her music. " what're you doing here? i didnt know you were coming over.." she questioned, standing from her perch and making her way over to you.

" i've been doing stuff all day, just wanted to see you..." you started, your arms moving to wrap around her waist as hers draped over your shoulders. " can i stay the night?" you questioned, longing to just curl up in her arms and sleep.

" yeah, of course. why don't you shower and i'll make some food and then we can go to bed " she suggested, her hand lifting to brush some stray hairs behind your ear, her hand lingering on your cheek.

" sounds good. " you replied, pressing a short kiss onto her lips before moving down the hall to shower.

it had gotten to the point where you had stayed over so much that you had part of your own shelf in her shower.

her products resided next to yours and it just filled you with a bit of happiness every time you saw it.

#·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ 𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐚 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫 #༊*·˚𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 #·˚ ༘₊· ͟͟͞͞꒰➳ 𝐟𝐢𝐜 #wednesday addams x reader #wednesday addams #wednesday x enid #jenna ortega #jenna ortega x y/n #jenna ortega x you #jenna ortega smut #jenna ortega imagine #jenna ortega x reader #jenna marie ortega #tara carpenter x y/n #tara carpenter smut #tara carpenter x female reader #tara carpenter x you #tara carpenter x reader #tara carpenter #scream v #scream rp #scream movie #scream franchise #scream #scream movies #scream 1996 #scream 2022 #scream 2 #scream vi #scream 5

[yanderestarangel]

⸺ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐎𝐅 𝐃𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐌𝐖2 - 𝐃𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓 | "𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐗 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐍 𝐀𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌?"

A/N: Just one of the posts from my old blog, which I will repost here.

TW: obsessive behavior, degradation, abusive relationship, angst, smut, nsfw writing, sex without a condom, age gap, drunk sex, violent sex, afab reader, no pronouns used other than "you".

𝐀𝐥𝐞𝐣𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐨:

Fights with this man are hell. He would break down your entire house and you would actually get slapped in the face, he doesn't regret it one bit, most of the fights are for reasons that he simply gets out of his sick and obsessed head. You always expect these fights after leaving a restaurant the two of you went to for dinner, the man's face changed when he saw you being complimented by a random man, saying how beautiful you looked and how well you could model for his magazine, giving you a card. Dinner was ruined by this simple fact, your husband sat at the table practically ignoring everything, either you were talking while he was eating in silence, looking down or to the side, or he was just responding with irony to your statements, making you feel extremely bad, he knew that you would cry at any moment about his treatment right then and there, but you wouldn’t stop, he was so angry about everything.

The two of you would get home and the fight would soon start, with Alejandro talking about how much he fought to keep you and everything, saying that he was exhausted from having to put up with your "slutty way of operating" while he tried to be a good husband. He would see you silently crying but he wouldn't care and would tell you to stop victimizing yourself while holding your neck, forcing you to look at him, then tearing your favorite and expensive dress, putting his hands on your naked body in front of him. Sex with him would be you crying with sadness and pleasure, your mind was upset with all of Vargas' words, but you couldn't think as he fucked your pussy with all his might, telling you that you belonged to him and only him, while giving a slapped your ass and watched your tears come down, completely messing you up.

𝐒𝐨𝐚𝐩, 𝐉𝐨𝐡𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐡 :

Soap always tried to control himself, he hated fighting with you but this poor boy didn't know how to control his insecurities and unhealthy thoughts about you. For Mactavish, any sign that you seemed distant was already a reason to question and soon after (regardless of his response) it would generate an ugly fight between you. Sometimes it would be silly things like wearing shorter clothes to go out that would make him extremely nervous, people looking at your curves as you walked by, but even then he would just keep it to himself and speak delicately (but with a slight aggressive air) to you don't wear them on the street, well, you ignored them until the horrible day you decided to put on a shorter dress and take a lunch box to your husband at work, he'll freak out seeing you there and will simply take you home, well, first, he will start crying saying that he was betrayed by you and how much you want attention from men other than him, the two of you will fight for more than an hour, with.

Soap leaving the house and going to breathe a little, staying a few meters away, you in the back area of your house together, you would recover but he wouldn't, he would only enter the house again when you left or went up to the room while pouring as much drink down your throat.

Soon you would arrive seeing Soap crying, you would comfort him by saying sweet words first, but soon you would see your husband dominate you and rip off your dress, tearing it and saying that you were a whore, but a whore that only he could touch, while turning you with your back to the sofa and clumsily thrust it into your pussy while drunk saying the most obscene things about you, he would force him to cum inside you even if you don't want to as "proof" of his love for you, well and after that he would throw all the clothes that he considers short and too revealing outside, with the bonus of: putting a tracker on your cell phone.

𝐆𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭, 𝐒𝐢𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐑𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐲:

Will you really want to date this man? Like, seriously, honey, he's going to make your life a complete living hell ever since you agreed to have some kind of relationship with him. Ghost will start off light, telling you about how your college roommate smiles at you too much or how you're "leaving" him to hang out with your friends and how he wants attention because he loves you.

But it will get drastically worse as soon as Simon sees something that displeases him and makes you feel bad, he will manipulate you with a conversation where he pretends to be the victim and you the villain, like the time he picked you up from college and saw you and your colleague laughing and talking happily, the icing on the cake was ghost seeing you and this friend kissing each other on the cheek and saying goodbye, in his head that was equivalent to betrayal.

He waited for you to get in the car and ignore you the entire trip home, considering you live with him, he's just going to start shouting how much he does for you two and how ungrateful you are for being so offered.

It's true, Ghost paid everything for you and for you, even the college of your dreams, you he didn't care about anything but that was on purpose he wanted to have 100% control of your life, financially or otherwise, he would make sure that if you left him one day you couldn't maintain your basic standard of living because he would cut any and every type of chance in any type of area you wanted, but you couldn't even imagine that.

Simon raised his voice louder and louder, even throwing his cell phone at the wall and watching the device break into a thousand pieces, you just remained silent as you heard each insult, the last time you tried to defend yourself Ghost made you walk around naked for a whole day in addition to applying physical punishment, leaving you either in the unbearable cold without clothes or in extreme heat, and it always worked.

Or the worst sexual punishment.

Ghost just looked at you and left the house for a while with the car and you took the opportunity to cry and try to get some sleep, wondering where your relationship had come to.

When you woke up, you felt a strange sensation inside you, opening your eyes and seeing your boyfriend completely naked with just the skull balaclava that he always refused to take off during sex, the man's dick entered violently hitting your uterus, reaching each repeated movement is painful.

Ghost covered your mouth with one hand as he said that he had brutally beaten his "dear friend", you felt tears in your eyes as you heard every detail and then heard that it was all your fault.

Ghost sped up his thrusts more and more, now whispering how your pussy belonged to him and no one else and that he would kill anyone who tried to get close to you, soon letting out a rough moan and ending up inside you.

As if it were nothing the man threw a box with a new cell phone at you and left, you knew he was a monster, but no one can escape a ghost, he will chase you to the deepest reaches of hell. And that's what Ghost was, whether you like it or not.

#yanderestarangel #afab reader #ghost x reader #call of duty headcanons #cod mw2 #mw2 x reader #mw2 headcanons #soap mactavish #john soap mactavish #alejandro vargas #alejandro vargas x reader #ghost simon riley #ghost x you #simon riley x reader #alejandro vargas x you #soap mw2 #mw2 #mw2 x you #call of duty fandom #call of duty x y/n #cod x reader #call of duty hc #ghost x y/n #simon ghost riley #alejandro x reader #johnny mactavish x reader #yandere call of duty #yandere mw2 #gender neutral reader #dark concept

[snipersfucker]

Hcs for mirage and make it spicy too 😈

yall so down bad for that robot dick smh (me too)

its nsfw (mirage x human!reader) stuff here so mdni even though i know yall read that 18+ shit anyway but imma just put it here. also, i am a grown ass woman and was still blushing while writing this so. warning: its hella fucking long

mirage headcanons

let's start with something that just popped up in my head:

when he's the dom, he praises you a lot but also i feel like he's the type to slightly tease/mock you? hear me out. "aw, you're gonna cum? yeah? you wanna be good for me and cum?" while slamming into you and ridding you of any thoughts

and while subbing, he's so whiny... like, whimpering, begging you to let him finish (in general or inside you cause i have a breeding kink) but also, he's being a big fucking brat, literally provoking you so that you'd go harder, be meaner to him

loves edging, loves doing it to you, loves watching you squirm and turn into mush with that cocky smile on his face, only using his hands on you

he definitely likes being edged, too. definitely. imagine him with his wrists tied behind his back, you not letting him touch you/stop you from torturing him, him complying even though he could easily break free..... he's a good boy and lets you do anything you want. (whimpers)

overstimulation as well, he just loves seeing you in that state, begging, crying in pleasure, moaning, whimpering, whatever. really.

he loses it when you overstimulate him though, definitely overheating and not being able to do anything other than beg you to stop, even though he's so fucking into it

12 inches. at least tbh.

i don't even wanna imagine what his cum must taste like, it's either washer fluid, gasoline or fucking rainwater he collects inside him so that you wouldn't have to swallow the first two things idk

back to pleasant things:

he'd definitely take you on rides where he just tells you to touch yourself for him in the driver's seat so that he could watch and hear everything

if you're a bold person (me) and came up with that idea first? like, he's driving around, talking with you through the radio, the mood is already slightly sexual, teasing and all (you know how he is), and then you decide to win the war and begin slowly undressing and touching yourself.... i feel like he'd either go completely silent for a moment or be like "damn... didn't know you had it in you". and expect him to literally ruin your insides when you get back to the garage. the positions he'd put you in.....

speaking of positions. he's big. i really like to believe your human body would be able to take him (i definitely would) but i am not entirely sure. do i care, though? no.

so his fav one is cowgirl. you straddling his lap while he's sitting, his servos on your waist/hips, them not moving you up and down but only staying there, allowing you to do anything you want (he doesn't wanna hurt you as any normal person)

missionary, too. mating press when he feels like ruining you in the sweetest way possible.

he'd try most things you'd ask him to do. he's a whore tbh. but. choking is a no, slapping and any other thing that could potentially cause you unwanted pain due to his strength and size is a no for him. wrapping his fingers around your throat just so that you'd feel them there? hell yeah. actually applying pressure? you might die

doesn't mind your hands on his neck, though. he knows you can't do shit to him, he'd let you hold a knife to his throat if you wanted to tbh, he couldn't care less (turns him on)

he looks like he fucking enjoys roleplays and the cringe ones, too. like, police officer stopping him for speeding, him acting all innocent and then he has to get punished for breaking the law or some shit. he just has that face that looks like he likes these things

he'd be so bratty as well. "no, ma'am, i am sure i wasn't speeding. well, you could always handcuff me if you think otherwise....." in that fake innocent tone....

size kink, breeding kink (just pretend his cum is normal like, potential gasoline inside me is a turn off for me personally tbh), bondage... he'd tie you up but again, he doesn't wanna hurt you, he'd prefer if you had complete control over your limbs and all. but loves it when you do it to him as i mentioned earlier

he's gotta prep you real good before putting it in, again because of his size. fingers, lube, your spit, anything. he needs to make sure you're stretched out enough to take him

he'd definitely steal your panties to jerk himself off with them (will be writing a whole fic about it someday)

speaking of masturbation, he's a horny fuck, everything about you gets him going and there aren't enough occasions for you to actually have sex, so he just uses his own hand, imagining you in various positions, even the impossible ones just because.

i don't think they have involuntary boners that show and they have to transform a bit to get their dicks out so he just does it to get rid of the unbearable tension inside him, not because anybody would see him with a hard-on

he cums a lot. the fluid literally never stops coming out of his dick when he finishes. breeding kink goes brrrr once again.

once came up with a funny safe word and told you to use it every single time you feel anything else other than pleasure

his digits are so big, he could easily use just one and make you crumble for him with just pushing it in and out of you

his aftercare probably consists of him holding you after sex, although he's aware that the metal body might not be the most comfortable thing ever. he'd definitely offer to take you on a joy ride afterwards. oh, and praise, too. but would also probably playfully make fun of you for saying horny stuff you'd normally never say to him if your mind wasn't clouded with lust

he's so confident in his bedroom abilities, too, as he should tbh.

i want him to manhandle me but also make him my pet.

#mirage rotb #mirage #mirage x my pussy #mirage x you #mirage x reader #mirage smut #mirage fluff #mirage angst #mirage transformers #transformers rotb #transformers #mirage headcanons #rotb

[earthstellar]

Miko and Holding a Grudge: Storytime is Learning Time

I was thinking about how in the final episode of TFP, Miko uses the "I'm going to beat your ass" armour to punch Knockout clean across the face

Miko punches him so quickly and efficiently that I genuinely could not get a screenshot of the impact moment. lmao

And there are a lot of good reasons for her to want to slap this twink into the stratosphere, but I was thinking about any specific grudges Miko might have personally against Knockout to help fuel that punch

Because typically Miko goes in with a sort of "I learned this by watching WWE with Bulkhead and I'm excited to hurt you" tiny human wrecker energy and is naturally hyped, so she tends to go in with a slightly showy approach to delivering a beatdown, which makes sense.

We know she watches stuff like monster truck rallies with Bulkhead, and we know she's watched Bulkhead and Wheeljack pretty closely, and this has had an impact on her developing her personal fighting style: High energy, maybe a couple attempts at some kind of signature moves. she's learned from TV shows and watching actual factional alien warfare play out in the Nevada desert. Shit's wild, and so is she.

But when she punches Knockout, it's a totally silent, quick, efficient hit-- which is pretty different to how Miko usually approaches "the smackdown".

Sure, part of it is because Knockout is sort of ruining a huge moment for the Autobots by quipping at a particularly annoying moment to do so, and she probably just wants him to shut the fuck up as quickly as possible so they can all get back to enjoying watching the revitalisation of Cybertron.

And they're all probably a bit tired from even managing to get to this point.

But then I remembered:

In the episode Flying Mind, Miko and Raf help Fowler off the Nemesis after he's been incapacitated.

But Jack stays behind, and when Knockout snaps out of Trypticon's stasis, he attempts to power drill through Jack's head/upper torso.

Ratchet comes through the ground bridge and punches Knockout, in the same way Miko punches Knockout in the series finale. One hit, and we're done here.

(Sorry for the crunchy quality screenshot, my internet connection is a bit crunchy itself at the moment lmao)

Now, Miko wasn't there to witness this, but we know Miko frequently asks the others to tell her about anything she misses, either because she's been asked to stay home or because things kicked off when she was otherwise not around. She likes to hear battle stories. She's actively jealous of the others when they get to go deal with cool shit and she can't for various reasons.

So we can assume that she asked Jack what happened, or perhaps Ratchet briefed everyone once the other Autobots were revived from temporary stasis, and she would have been present for that in the base.

Miko holds a grudge. There is an entire episode where her and Wheeljack essentially go on an ill-advised revenge mission after Bulkhead is injured. She operates on that mafia level shit, wanting revenge so badly that she essentially withholds information from Wheeljack until he agrees to let her tag along.

And while she learned from that experience, it does hint at the type of mindset she has-- Don't fuck with her friends, or she will very much hold onto that anger until she gets the chance to act on it.

When she punches Knockout, it's a quick, clean punch. Which makes sense contextually for that scene, she's not going to haul completely off on him in that moment.

But it also echoes how Ratchet dealt with him when Knockout was threatening Jack, and that seems like the kind of detail Miko would remember after having it described to her.

She has a bit of a vengeful streak, and even though she does learn not to act on desires for revenge, she's still a kid and god she loves fighting so much, and there is no way she forgot about that one time Knockout tried to kill her friend with a fucking drill-- Even if she didn't get to witness it, it's likely she was told about it in some way, and she's been holding onto that for a while.

So I just really like that her punching Knockout is a mirror of when Ratchet punched Knockout previously, because we know she's very good at paying attention to detail when it comes to fighting, and we know that she learns from observation and from listening to battle stories.

It makes a lot of sense if she just recognised Knockout as being that one bot who nearly killed Jack and remembered how Jack likely described the incident to her later (or may have gotten details from any debriefing Ratchet may have provided at the base), and in that moment recalled that Ratchet took him down in one hit, so she should probably just do the same.

It's quick, it worked before on this exact bot, it'll probably work again.

Miko does learn. She very much holds a grudge. And I like that even though her actions in the finale make sense even without the possible background connection to a prior episode, it does perfectly make sense either way.

You know she begged Jack for all the details later, and you know she committed that shit to memory.

If Ratchet can knock out Knockout, so can she.

And she's not having their victory moment fucked up by some dude who seriously put them in danger on many previous occasions, even if he came around to the "winning team" in the end.

anyway you just know Miko is a mascot for the Wreckers later on, like there's no way Wheeljack and/or Bulkhead doesn't custom paint the side of a ship at some point like a WW2 aircraft lmao but it's just a painting of Miko laughing maniacally while punching a boulder or something

#tfp #transformers prime #tfp ratchet #tfp jack #tfp miko #miko nadakai #jack darby #tfp knockout #long post #just thinkin #maccadam #maccadams #transformers #wreckers

[jazeswhbhaven]

(✧ᴗ✧✿) I'm happy you asked me to do this, because I love reading stuff where there's a quiet MC during smexy time just because they're naturally quiet <3 Let's see our bois react...

Belial: We know for certain that he likes to hear it when his s/o is pleased with what he's doing during. Moans, gasps, stuttered words, it doesn't matter what sound is coming from them. So when his s/o is quiet, he will do just about anything to get some kind of reaction. He's skilled with his tongue, tracing those words into his s/o, pleading for them to make a noise. But their s/o stays strong, silent letting their face tell the story of how close they are to coming. And somehow, this sends Belial over the edge, feverishly pounding into them, he's so turned on he can't focus on anything else. Just his s/o...and their blissful O face. Satan: Of course there won't be much noise coming from his s/o if he has his tongue down their throat the entire time. A silent partner in bed doesn't bother him in the slightest because he thinks it's cute how they know restraint. It also makes him slightly more straightforward/needy than usual. When he's hitting it from the back, he whispers in their ear "Not one peep? Not even for me?" followed by a deep groan as he slides in slow, deliberate to try to get even a gasp. His s/o holds strong, using their hands to grip and scratch him and press their hips deep into the thrust. "Fuck..." he's cursing more than usual, lost in his own ecstasy while accepting that this attempt to get them to make a noise will never work. Mammon: This king talks a lot; very verbal during his love-making session. He first finds it odd that his s/o is silent, maybe he's doing something wrong. He even once felt he should go deeper, choosing a position where it feels like their guts are physically being stirred around. But, he adapts to his s/o, learning they just like to hold back and use other ways to show their pleasure. So he always switches to facing positions where he can see it, as he grips their ass and bites their lip, his cock always slowly pumping to see just how long the both of them can last (he always wins). There may have been a time when he got them to make one small gasp...but that was it. That was the day his s/o wasn't able to walk straight for a couple days. Beelzebub: No moans? Would rather stay quiet? No problem. That makes it much easier for him to sneak in quickies whenever however. While he's at his desk trying to get work done? His s/o is underneath sucking him off. Sitting in his lap at the dinner table with a nice tablecloth? He's getting them off with his hands, watching to see just how stone-faced they can be even if he knows they can be quiet about it. While he's hiding in a random room or closet away from his nobles when they search for him, and he's got them pressed against the door, and his breath is barely above a whisper as his cock pulses and throbs when he pauses inside them, hearing their voices just outside the door..."Be good for me and don't make a sound...but I already know you're good at that-" he says before grabbing their hips, pulling out before he thrusts deeply.

Leviathan: A quiet s/o during sex doesn't bother him too much. In fact, he justifies it. "No one needs to hear you anyway, those sweet sounds belong to me only." He appreciates the look on his s/o's face when it's twisted in pleasure, either from his hands, his tongue, his cock, as he skillfully claims what's his. A favorite way of testing if his s/o can stay silent, is when they're cockwarming him and he has them strangle him. Each time he moans his cock swells and throbs, his hips jerk just slightly to cause the slightest amount of stimulation. He looks at them with his glazed stare, tongue draped over his sweet lips as he rasps "Harder". And if his s/o manages to make a sound, he leans over to silence them with a deep kiss. As he said before, those sweet sounds belong to him. (btw I'm not sure if Luci was meant to be included, just let me know if you want him!!)

#jwhbnsfwasks🔞 #whb kings👑 #whb belial #whb beelzebub #whb satan #whb mammon #whb leviathan #this is pretty hot ngl

[jongseongsnudes]

twenty eight.

warning; 💔 1.2k words. masterlist.

“and we welcome to the stage now, our chairman park sungjoon and our new ceo, park sunghoon.”

everyone’s clapping as the two mentioned men appear on stage, the spotlight entirely on them. it’s definitely a sight to witness, to see the two of them smiling at each other as if they don’t have screaming matches behind the scene.

“good evening everyone, thank you all for joining me and my family tonight on this special occassion...”

mr park’s voice slowly drowns out of your mind as you focus on sunghoon instead. it’s hard not to pay attention to him. you’ve seen him on stage on so many occasions but this time topped them all. there was something about him tonight, his words, his gesture, his smile. his entire presence. all seemed genuine and like he wanted to be there for once.

you’re not sure how he was able to take over his father’s spot, but you’re happy for him either way. from what you’ve heard, everyone loved sunghoon. he was a good boss, someone who worked with and for the people. unlike his father.

it was nice to see sunghoon get acknowledged for his efforts rather than just his face, the man now standing where he truly belonged.

and it’s not with you. it’s up there on that stage, as the ceo of the biggest company in the country.

tonight really was an eye opener, reminding you of just how different you and park sunghoon were... and how impossible it would be to hold both the titles of step sister and lover at the same time.

imagine the judgment he’d get, the hate and disgust thrown towards him if someone found out your true relationship. that ceo park was in a romantic relationship with his own step sister. imagine that as the headline on the front page across the country.

it was something you’ve been thinking about lately, something you definitely don’t want him to face.

you end up zoning out for some time, so long that you don’t even notice sunghoon now sitting beside you, the two of you alone at the table, with everyone else mingling about the grand ballroom.

“what are you doing here?” you almost drop your champagne glass from how startled you are, something the man immediately notices, “don’t you need to... i don’t know, greet people or something?”

“i do. but you’re sitting here looking like you’re at a funeral. should i be concerned?”

“no sorry. i- i’m just tired,” you try to laugh off your awkwardness, a smile appearing on your face at the realisation of how you must've looked the whole time, “well, congratulations on your big promotion mr park.”

the man stays watching you, eyes focused on your lips as he begins to mirror your expression. the sight has your heart picking up the pace, being this close to sunghoon again really affected you in so many ways.

although no one says anything, you feel happy to be with him. it’s a sweet moment, one you’ve waited to have. you’ve missed him.

you and sunghoon didn’t talk much after his promotion was announced, the man being too busy with the company and the press this past week to even sleep, let alone talk to you. the man really had no time for you and you couldn’t even blame him.

“i mi-” his words are interrupted by the call of his name behind you, before a few men appear in hopes of stealing away the ceo himself.

your step brother looks annoyed for a second but as if a natural reflex, his expression is quick to change right back to his professional one.

“eat something or else people will say that i don't treat you well,” his hand reaches towards you to tuck away the few loose strands of hair out of your face, a soft smile dawning his face, “i’ll be right back.”

10 minutes turned into 30, 30 turned into an hour and before you knew it, almost two hours have passed with no sign of sunghoon coming back. by now you were just so ready to leave, so ready to get out of this heavy gown and makeup.

so after telling your mum and mr park, you silently make your way towards the function hall’s exit, hoping to not attract much attention to yourself. from a distance, you see sunghoon conversing with a bunch of people, some you recognise as prominent figures in the industry. of course these are the people sunghoon would be getting acquainted with, people similar to him.

unlike you.

as much as you wanted to talk to the man, you had no intentions of disturbing him. so you head out to the exit, just to surprisingly hear someone call your name only a minute after.

“where are you going?”

so much for slipping out unnoticed.

“o- oh sunghoon,” you turn around to see the man standing a few metres away with a face full of concern, “i- i’m going to head back to the hotel. i was going to tell you but you looked busy.”

“i don’t know why you’re staying at a hotel when you could move back in with me.”

it’s true. after moving out of beomgyu’s apartment a few days ago, you’ve been staying at hotel. it didn’t feel right to move back in with sunghoon, neither did you want to live with your mum and mr park. anything but live with mr park who’s even moodier now that sunghoon had taken over.

“i just want to be alone... for a while. get my head sorted before i decide what to do next.”

he makes a hum of acknowledgment and takes a step closer to you, almost closing the space between your bodies. the space you were praying would keep you sane.

“well um- i'm going to go, you go back inside before people send a search team for the ceo,” you attempt to sound playful but all you’re doing is sounding more nervous than ever unfortunately, “don’t drink too much.”

“are you telling me what to do?”

“yeah, because i care for you sunghoon.”

you’re surprised those words even came out of your own mouth and judging by his reaction, you’re sure he is too.

“anyway, goodnight sunghoon.”

the speed of your feet fastens as you approach the exit, knowing damn well that one word from the man could sway your decisions to leave. it has always been this way, with you completely wrapped around his finger, so eager and ready to do as told.

“wait,” and your feet really do stop to his one word, your body acting twice as fast as your mind could. every footstep he took towards to you only added to your pot of nervousness that’s already on the verge of spilling thanks to him.

“just for tonight... can you come home with me?”

“i-” you pause for a moment, his gentle voice having more of an affect on you than they should’ve. you want to say yes so badly but you knew better not to, that this was the right thing to do right now.

“please.”

fuck it. just tonight.

“okay sunghoon. just tonight.”

end.

-

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#jongseongsnudes #the enha universe #sunghoon; step brother #sunghoon #enha #enhypen #park sunghoon #enhypen x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen angst #enhypen sunghoon #enhypen fanfic #enhypen fic #enhypen scenario #enhypen imagine #enhypen drabbles #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #park sunghoon x reader #park sunghoon smut #park sunghoon fanfic #park sunghoon fic #park sunghoon scenario #park sunghoon drabble #park sunghoon imagine #sunghoon fic #sunghoon fanfic #sunghoon smut #sunghoon angst #sunghoon x reader

[vampykween]

Second Chances (part 2)

summary: little poppy is simon riley’s entire world and you’ve just had yours turned completely upside down. despite everything, it seems like everything falls into place when you’re with each other. cw: mentions of character death a/n: i wanted to dive into Simon and Poppy's backstory with this part so reader isn't really present in this but, i felt like it was important to establish some backstory ☻ this slightly proofread, but forgive me if there are any mistakes wc: 1789 part 1

Although his face doesn't show it, Simon is thrilled listening to Poppy talk his ear off on the walk home from school. He wouldn't dare admit he spent the whole day busying himself with household tasks to keep his mind from wandering to his little girl. As soon as they cross the threshold of their home Poppy is off like a shot, shrugging off her backpack and kicking off her black mary janes. Simon sighs fondly, hangs her backpack up on its hook, and deposits her shoes in their rightful spot on the shoe rack. One day he’ll get her to do it herself, but for now, he’s content with trailing after her and picking up every little thing she drops if it means she’ll always stay this young and innocent. 

When he rounds the corner he’s met with the sight of Poppy scribbling on a large sheet of paper - her brand new box of crayons strewn across the living room table - and the sound of her favorite cartoon; which Simon finds mind-numbing but he grins and watches with her when she asks because he’ll be damned if he doesn't make her feel like the things she likes aren’t important to him. 

“Whatcha working on there, lovie?” Simon asks with genuine curiosity, he hadn't expected her to come home with any work to do already. The young girl gestures to her crafts, “We’re making family trees at school, I’m a little bit stuck though daddy, I don't know who to put on the tree.” She pouts at him from her spot on the floor and Simon is hit with a wave of grief for the life his daughter could’ve had. 

Six years ago 

“Oh my god, Simon, are you even listening to me?!” Amelia snapped in Simon’s face as he zoned out on the couch. His body was firmly planted in their living room, but his mind wasn't. Pregnant. The word bounced around his brain like a pinball machine, he’s suddenly brought back to the present at the sound of his girlfriend's sobbing. 

“God, I'm right in front of you and it’s like we're not even in the same room. I beg you time and time again to just be present with me, and you act like it’s so fucking hard.” Amelia hiccups and frustratedly wipes at her eyes, “if you don't want this tell me now, cause it’s hard enough feeling like you don't even love me, I can't imagine handling you not loving our child either.” 

Simon turns sharply in her direction at her admission, he knows it’s rocky between them he’s no idiot, but to hear her say that he doesn’t love her, or wouldn't love their child fucking tears him up. He takes her hands in his, and tugs gently until she meets his eyes. 

“Em, you have to know that I do love you, and hell I’m scared out of my mind right now, but god please don’t think for a second that I wouldn't love our child.” He pulls her into his arms and strokes her hair gently until her cries subside. 

“I'm so scared Simon, you and I are not okay. What if that never changes?” Amelia asks somberly. She couldn't remember the last time she wasn't griping at Simon for something, or Simon giving her the silent treatment and storming off for hours at a time. She knew a baby wouldn't change that, hell it had been five years already and they still weren’t married. The wishful part of her hoped that Simon would say that he was going to change for good and that they would fix their relationship and become a happy family. 

“We’ll figure it out, I promise yeah?” Simon had a way of looking at her like she was his world and for just a moment Amelia believed that everything would be okay. 

~ 

Unsurprisingly things were not okay, Amelia woke in the middle of the night grasping her large bump in pain. She regrets her decision to make Simon sleep in the guest bedroom because now her options are to attempt to waddle and wake up her boyfriend? Baby daddy? Things were tense and she wasn't sure what they were anymore. The months she’s spent growing their little bundle of joy have been hellish; being pregnant exacerbated Amelia’s growing disdain for Simon and made every transgression seem far worse than ever before. 

“God, Em, just let me do it. I don't need you hurting yourself.” 

“Piss off Simon, I'm not a baby. I can handle building a crib by myself.” 

Simon rolls his eyes but doesn't move from his spot in the doorway. Pretty much any conversation with his girlfriend was an argument waiting to happen. They both swore they would make it work, but it seemed like the longer time went on the more they were at each other’s throats. 

Amelia braves the idea of trying to make it to Simon’s room when a contraction subsides. She trudged down the hallway to his room and pushed on his shoulder roughly to rouse him. 

“Simon. Simon, wake up.” 

“What do ya want,” he questions groggily, still half asleep. 

“The baby’s fucking coming, get up. I'm dying in pain over here.” 

He shoots up at her words, panic settling into his bones as he realizes that this is it. They were about to come home with a baby, they were seriously going to be parents. He smiles brightly at her in the dark room, only slightly lit by the moonlight because Simon still hadn't put up the curtains she asked him to. Amelia wanted to tell him to wipe the stupid grin off his face because she was pissy and in excruciating pain, but a part of her couldn't help but smile too. Maybe they would come home with their little bundle of joy and everything would be different. 

~

The sound of small cries fills the hospital room and Simon is sure he’s never cried so hard in his life. 

“Congratulations, it’s a girl,” the nurse says as she lays the tiny baby on Amelia's chest. She smiles down at their little girl, but it’s wobbly and the color is rapidly draining from her face. Before he could have a second to even bask in, what he’s sure is the best moment of his life, the sound of machines beeping erratically and the flurry of nurses surrounding Amelia has him paralyzed with fear. 

~ 

The sterile smell of the hospital was burning his nostrils with every shaky breath he inhaled. They kept saying something about Amelia losing too much blood and that they needed to act fast and a million other things, but it felt as if his ears were filled with cotton and his head was trapped underwater. Simon’s heart was beating like a hummingbird trapped in a cage; he couldn't handle losing another person he loved. Why was it that everyone around him seemed to be viciously ripped from him? 

Poppy, the name they had decided on just a few short days ago, was on the verge of having no mother and a grief-addled skeleton for a father. His lungs couldn’t hold enough air and suddenly he felt dizzy, he thought for a moment about what it would be like to let this day be his end too. But he then thought of his little girl growing up, traumatized from being abandoned as soon as she entered the world. Simon was not a man made of tears, but he found himself shedding them freely in the cold, hard hospital chairs as he waited to see if his entire world was about to come crashing down. He chides himself for all the arguments they had had recently, he can't even remember the last time he told Em that he loved her. He did love her, even if he wasn't able to love her the way she so desperately wanted him to. 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, a doctor comes out where he’s sat, and he feels his throat constrict at the look on her face. 

“Mr. Riley, we did everything we could…” 

Whatever she says after doesn't even register because he feels like the room is spinning and he can't breathe and he's going to die he’s sure of it. What did he do to deserve the cards he had been dealt? How was he supposed to go home and take care of his daughter and act like he didn't have to plan on how he was going to bury her mother?

 Simon is hit with flashes of the future of all these he knows nothing about like periods, relationships, and all the things a little girl wants her mother for. 

At that very moment, Simon had nothing but Poppy. He wanted to lock himself in his home and never face the light of day again, but he knew that for her, he needed to be her everything. And that meant, trudging through every painful, sinister day so she never feels anything short of loved irrevocably. 

~ 

The shrill sound of Poppy crying has been Simon’s soundtrack for the better part of the day now. As if the small infant knows he’s inadequate, and most definitely not her mother, she wails loudly no matter what he does to soothe her. 

Amelia would know what to do, she was always the type to have her nose buried in parenting books, and if Simon even had a moment's peace maybe he’d pick one up. That unfortunately meant going into her bedroom, not even their bed because they had been fighting and sleeping in separate rooms right before their daughter was born. The door at the end of the hall has been closed since he got home from the hospital a week ago. Every time he thinks he’s ready to brave the room, his stomach twists in knots so tight he has to remind himself he’s okay and that he’s alive. 

Simon rocks his newborn gently in his arms as he sinks into the couch, sighing at the way he can still smell a hint of her mother’s perfume. He’d give anything to have Amelia ripping into him right now, just to hear the sound of her voice. 

He looks down at Poppy, who magically has granted him a reprieve from her sobs, and smiles softly at her. “You look just like your mother, ya know that? You’ve got a bit of my ugly mug in there too, but your eyes? That’s all her.” The baby blinks up at him and Simon leans down and kisses the crown of her head gently. “It’s just gonna be you and I kid, but I promise I'll do my very best with ya.” 

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#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #dad!ghost #dad!simon #oc: poppy #cw: character death #second chances au #mic writes