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ghostietea · 3 years

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On Tohru and Akito: a long overdue analysis

As some may know, Tohru Honda and Akito Sohma from the manga Fruits Basket are pretty much my all time favorite protagonist/antagonist pair. They just work incredibly well as thematic pieces and driving forces of the story in relation to eachother. And beyond even the surface level they have a rich and layered goldmine of parallels that make them fascinating to think about. While it may make many a newbie raise an eyebrow, I think this is a fact that is to some level pretty widely acknowledged in the fandom proper. However, there is another level of their relationship that is often mostly left out of analytical conversations about them and their parallels: their eventual friendship. Something which, partly due to screentime, is often somewhat simplified down and misinterpreted. Which I think is a shame because, when you look at it, their eleventh hour friendship is deeply interwoven with their parallels and the very thematics and ending of the story. So then, what’s really going on with the girls that stand as part of the thematic core of Furuba? Beyond (most of, true analytical objectivity is impossible in interpretation) my personal sentimental feelings, let’s talk Akito and Tohru: their parallels, relationship, and role in the story overal. Read more present, this is going to be a long one but I hope you stick around 😊

One facet of Akito and Tohru’s role in relationship to eachother that I think is both interesting and imperative to understanding their purpose is their nature as eachother’s foils, especially their parallels. See, the two girls are both opposite and the same. Takaya sets them up as foils before we even properly meet Akito, as you can see in these panels:

However, their foil relationship becomes a lot more intriguing once their similarities become more apparent later in the story. Just think about it: two girls with boy’s names whose fathers died when they were young, leaving them alone with their mothers, who both developed behavior that, according to the environment that they grew up in, would keep them from being abandoned. Akito, coming from the cultish Sohma clan where she was treated as a God to the point that she thinks she can do no wrong and has tied all of her self worth to the role, plays the part of a male ruler who must uphold tradition and keep the zodiac with her by any means. Akito is terrified of being abandoned, especially since she has no idea how to have relationships outside of the context of the bond, only exacerbated by the fact that Ren, one of the only people that openly questions her role, has constantly told her that she’s useless and will be abandoned. This is something that informs all of her (many, terrible) decisions and leads her to try desperately to keep the curse together, something which puts her in direct conflict with Tohru, who actually wants the curse broken in part so that she won’t be abandoned. Tohru may not be as obvious with her abandonment issues as miss screeches-at-people-not-to-leave-her, but they still inform a good deal of her character. Like Akito, she develops behavior around the time of her father’s passing to try to keep herself from being abandoned, mirroring her father’s proper speech because she was worried that she was losing Kyoko. But, as she grew older in her much warmer environment, Tohru turned to kindness instead of fear to capture others, maintaining a facade of extreme positivity, politeness, and determination so as to not bother anyone. And, while she hides it, Tohru just gets worse after losing her mother. She becomes dedicated to preserving her feelings about her mother as is, refusing to move on much as Akito also refuses to move on from the curse and what her father wanted. Then comes the beach house reveal, where Tohru learns that Akito plans to take away her new family, even locking up the one most precious to her. Tohru tells herself that she’s going to break the curse for the freedom of the zodiac and cat, but she is also, in a way, doing it to keep herself from being abandoned. Later this feeling changes to become more focused on preventing the loss of Kyo himself, something which Tohru doesn’t want to admit. Tohru is a truly good and kind person and does want to help, yes, but also some part of her is doing this to keep the ones she loves by her side, understandably as she is a teen that recently lost the person she revolved her whole life around. But it comes to a point that you have to realize: Akito and Tohru are both motivated by the same thing, they just present it in wildly different ways. I don’t think that I have to explain how exactly their behavior foils eachother, the more worldly and modern Tohru acting on radical kindness and acceptance and thinking she deserves nothing while the sheltered, traditional Akito uses manipulation and fear to get what she thinks she is entitled to. It’s very apparent, but just gets even spicier in the context of how similar they are. Another parallel is in Tohru’s mom picture vs Akito’s father box, both relics of their dead and favorite parent that they are extremely protective of and treat almost like it is their deceased parent. Early in the series Tohru is seen carrying around a photo of her mom which she talks to, something which seems pretty harmless, until we consider how terrified she is every time she thinks she’s lost it, even going as far as to refer to it as if it were her mother. Notably, it barely shows up in the second half of the series, as she reluctantly drifts away from her mom and towards Kyo. In this later part of the series, we are introduced to Akito’s box, which she (semi, it’s complicated) thinks contains her father’s soul. Akito’s box is shown in a much darker light, from how the reveal of what it us to her is framed to how cruelly she reacts when it’s being stolen. Akito’s box is to Tohru’s photo what their owners narratively are to eachother: a dark mirror.

Ok, and now for the reason that I think it was important to bring all these parallels up first: because as you cannot understand Tohru and Akito as enemies without understanding their differences, you cannot understand them as friends without knowing their similarities. While it is easy to write off Tohru reaching out to Akito as just another case of Tohru being Tohru, that does a disservice to the full picture. I’ve seen around in the fandom that a good deal of people seem to think Tohru trying to befriend her is just Tohru being overly kind and forgiving, and this is something I think ties back a bit to some early fandom misconceptions about Tohru. Bear with me for a second, this is going to be a bit of a tangent but it ties back. It’s died down some now, but in the early Furuba fandom it was very common to just think of Tohru as a pretty flat nice girl doormat character, which besides misogyny is probably partially the fault of the 01 anime, which cuts off before we get to see more of Tohru’s insecurities and tones down what we do see (also, in the case of the relationship I’m talking about, 01 ads in that God awful end confrontation that I despise for being everything that I’m about to argue the ACTUAL confrontation that I like is not). Manga Tohru is a very subtle character, she hides a lot of her feelings behind a perpetually happy front which doesn’t start to let slip until later. And, since it’s later on in the manga which went unadapted for years and is mixed in with a bunch of crazy stuff, I think Tohru’s quiet development is often somewhat overlooked. For example, early series Tohru is very well known for the speeches she gives to the zodiac when she first meets them, speeches that, importantly, always tie back to things that her mom said. Tohru’s worldview back then revolved completely around Kyoko, so it’s probably a bit of a thing that in the later story, when Tohru draws ever nearer to the realization that she must move on, she does not give her mom speeches anymore? As opposed to the early story, when it was pretty much back to back character intros, in the late story Tohru notably only gets to befriend two new Sohmas: Isuzu and Akito. Notably, she doesn’t quote her mom either time, these are both people that she can relate to on some of her more hidden issues, and she shows a more personal side of her emotions in her turning point confrontations with them than she did earlier. It is especially important to realize that, in her confrontation on the cliff, Tohru is deciding that she is willing to go against her mom. Early series Tohru was a front anyways, and is a different Tohru from the one that finally gets through to Akito. I was using it as an example, but the evolution of Tohru’s befriending confrontations will be important later. Furthermore, there is the perception of Tohru as a doormat. Listen, Tohru may be very kind and polite, but one of her defining characteristics is being very determined and strong willed when need be. This is something that is especially relevant to her interactions with Akito. From the first meeting outside the school, Tohru knows to be wary of Akito and even breaks politeness and shoves her when she senses that Akito is making Yuki uncomfortable. This sets up immediately that Tohru can and will stand up to Akito. This is driven in even farther at the beach house, when Tohru, after again physically getting between Akito and a zodiac, decides that she will directly go against all of the Sohma family’s centuries of tradition and Akito herself to break the curse. There’s even a cute moment when, upon remembering Akito telling her not to, Tohru just decides to meddle even harder. Tohru, while polite about it, does not like Akito and puts herself in direct opposition to her. Tohru does not originally want to be Akito’s friend, or to have anything to do with her. The cliff scene is not just Tohru befriending someone because she just is over forgiving and loves everyone (an argument can be made that she still goes to easy on Akito, but it’s in line with how the narrative treats her too so that’s another conversation), there was a specific reason both that she chose to try to get through to Akito and that it actually worked. Up until their big confrontation, Tohru still thinks of Akito as a threat, and while she has gotten more information that shakes up her view of Akito, she still doesn’t understand her well enough to see her as much more than an obstacle. Then Akito barges into her yard when she’s just been rejected, crying and confessing how terrified she is of being abandoned, of things changing, and Tohru just goes still, eyes wide in shock. And she realizes: her and Akito have been afraid of the same thing the whole time. This is when Tohru decides to try to reach out to her. Because Tohru, on a deep level, sees Akito because of their similarities. She calls Akito out on her insecurities, and Akito reacts badly, accusing Tohru of being “dirty” and trying to condescend. Tohru partially rebukes this, not trying to hold herself above Akito as pure and righteous, but instead confessing her own fears of abandonment and change in an attempt to empathize with Akito.

At this part of the story, Tohru is fully coming into the realization that, in order to live her life, she needs to stop clinging to this idea of an “unchanging” relationship with her mom, something that scares her quite a bit. She realizes that, while she saw the flaws in Akito’s “eternity” and tried to destroy it, she had not been as perceptive with herself, clinging to that same notion. Tohru is an incredibly repressed character, especially in regards to emotions she thinks of as “dirty,” and she is showing a remarkable amount of vulnerability in this scene. Another thing to note about Tohru is that she, in her immense repression, will often process her own issues through other people. We see this throughout the story, from her showing grief over her mom by crying for Momiji and his mom to her projecting her fear of losing Kyo onto Kureno and Arisa. So then, it’s quite something to consider that the last Sohma she befriends is the one most emblematic of the issues she keeps locked up tightest? That as she’s speaking to her she’s deciding to move forward from her own fears? In a way, could accepting Akito be a symbol of Tohru accepting what she thinks are the darker parts of herself? Akito is also coming to a realization about moving on, acknowledging that the zodiac curse is coming to an end and that everything she believes is a lie, and she is absolutely distraught about it. But Tohru, in a way that nobody else does, understands Akito, and wants Akito to be her friend. Not out of pity or reverence, but a desire for solidarity. And this is the very reason why Tohru was actually able to get through to Akito. As we see with Kureno before he gets stabbed and Momiji at the beach house and when his curse breaks, it’s not like people haven’t kindly tried to get through to her before.

Of course, the reason it worked for Tohru can also be partially chalked up to the fact that Akito herself has come a long ways in personal realizations to the point that there’s just some things she can’t deny anymore, but that’s not all. Akito tends to react very negatively to what she sees as condescension, she thinks people want to try to pick her apart and see how she ticks just so they can look down on her, so they can see her as lesser. She thinks Tohru is trying to condescend too at first, especially since she perceives Tohru as this holier than thou saint wannabe. Fascinatingly, Akito’s view of Tohru is incredibly similar to that early fandom idea of Tohru as an angelic mary sue, and she hates her for it. She thinks that Tohru is trying to be like this and is seen as such, and that she (Akito) is the only who can see that Tohru is wrong somehow.

But Tohru rejects this notion of a pure her that both the fandom and her early self tried to project, presenting herself as flawed and human and purposefully trying to not put herself on a pedestal above Akito. She makes it very clear that she’s not trying to condescend, she is the same way (well, sorta) and she gets it. Notably, after this point Akito doesn’t accuse her of looking down on her, instead freaking out temporarily because of how much Tohru called her out before venting about her fears to her. And, while, partially due to outside circumstances, it does take Akito a bit longer to accept her offer of friendship, she legitimately manages to get through to her very soon after this point. If Tohru had tried one of her early series mom speeches on Akito, or just tried to blindly accept her without understanding, it would not have worked. Akito would have just written it off or reacted badly and left it there. But because Tohru tried to befriend Akito out of understanding as an equal it actually worked. You can’t separate Akito and Tohru’s parallels and their eventual friendship because one aspect is integral to the other.

A connected aspect of their relationship that I see talked of very little but is actually a pretty strong undercurrent is that of equality and power. To explain this, we have to look at Akito for a bit. Throughout her life, pretty much everyone around Akito has either put her on a pedestal or looked down on her. This is something that not only greatly damaged the way she thinks of herself and others, but has given her an intensely hierarchical view of relationships. We even see this notion clearly take form for her in the black paint scene, where she decides that Yuki, who she’d previously seen as the same as her, has to be lesser or else she will become useless. From the moment Akito was born she was “God,” an existence above everyone else. Even her own father only seems to give her affection for being God, and when he dies and she takes his place as the head of the family she is just elevated even farther at an extremely young age. The only people (she thinks) she’s close to are the zodiac, and the curse itself puts an inherent power dynamic into that relationship that can only be overcome with its undoing. Akito clings to her power, to her rank in the hierarchy, all the while the very thing she desperately upholds has made her the real outsider. Akito, who does everything in the name of belonging, was always alone from the start. As Tohru points out, as long as she is above the group she cannot be a part of it.

Simultaneously, and almost contradictory to the pedestalization and power dynamic aspect, Akito is extensively coddled and pitied. A lot of the older adults around her treat her almost like a crotchety, spoiled child. A child who is coddled to the point of never being given any reprimand or instruction on just how to behave like a functional human being until things have gone far too far. Then you have cases like Kureno, who seems to still see Akito like a kid, pretty much just coddles her as a job, and only stays because he pities her. This leads to a strange dual sided dynamic in multiple cases, where Akito is seen as someone’s better and has more power but is also being looked down upon in a way too. Akito has never in her life been seen and treated as an equal, so it’s pretty important when it is made clear that Tohru tries to befriend her as an equal. After all this time, Tohru, an outsider that is not under Akito’s control, who can hold her ground in a challenge against her, is finally the one to meet her on the same level. There’s this page that I adore that symbolizes this idea really nicely. It opens on a panel of Akito sitting a distance away from the zodiac who are all having fun together, a motif we’ve already seen a few times, but this time Tohru sits down right next to her.

This page comes at a critical moment, when Tohru is offering her hand in friendship to Tohru, it’s Akito realization of what Tohru is trying to do. Later on, we get Akito narrating what this page was showing, which I think I just need to put in:

We also see a bit of their conversation after they reunite in the hospital later, where Tohru again denies that she is better than Akito. Now, I think both the Tokyopop and Yen Press translations of this scene are a bit weird, the Tokyopop version uses the word “pretty” (confusing) while the Yen Press uses “kind” (don’t think that’s the best word). However one time I saw like a Malaysian english release in the half price books that used “pretty on the inside” and I like that best so I’ll just pretend that’s it.

I think this scene is interesting because it could seem like they’re just talking about morality but that’s not it. This is, once again, Tohru pretty explicitly trying to stop the creation of any sort of hierarchy between her and Akito. It’s not about right or wrong, Tohru know very well that Akito’s done things wrong and actively worked to stop her, it’s about not wanting them to be put on some sort of different rank based on morality and Tohru understanding Akito enough to empathize with the fact that (wrong or no) Akito was really hurt by Tohru and they won’t get anywhere if they don’t acknowledge that. Furthermore, I’ve already talked a bit about it already, but I think the way that Tohru asserts that she gets what Akito’s feeling and thinks she herself is “dirty” during their confrontation is relevant here too. She is, again, presenting herself as someone on the same level who understands Akito and is not being nice out of pity. This then leads to the page I talked about before which is again, Akito realizing this! This is a huge moment for her, someone who has had all of her relationships messed up by inequality and has no idea how to have a normal relationship, who is having a breakdown because she thinks that because of this it’s too late for anyone to love her, to have someone who understands her and wants to meet her on the same level. Even if she tries to deny it and shift blame, at this point Akito has realized that the zodiac bond is not what she thought and that she has been acting horribly. The groundwork is already there for Akito to have a change of heart, especially considering that a lot of her horribleness stems from legitimate extreme ignorance and her obsession with the bond so once she’s snapped out of that… The main thing that’s holding her back past that is that she’s panicking and cannot see a way forward. So then when there’s someone who actually gets where she’s coming from instead of just tolerating her and is offering her the sort of friendship that she’s never gotten to have of course she’d go for it! Tohru Honda has proven Akito wrong in ever way and, in the end, she even proves her wrong on her greatest fear: that she can only be wanted because she’s God. Because of Akito’s specific issues, nothing could have been more powerful for her than someone coming to her as an equal. Again, the piece about why Tohru could get through to her. It just wouldn’t be the same if Tohru didn’t have a reason to want Akito around or if she somehow saw Akito as below her, the very core of their relationship is the destruction of hierarchies. From the beginning Tohru has been trying to destroy the hierarchy of the zodiac, and when it comes down to it she does not take Akito’s spot at the top, but decides to stand beside her and the zodiac instead. Early in the series we see Akito trying to have some power over Tohru through fear, but when the time comes and Akito is pretty much defeated Tohru does not take power as the victor, hoping that Akito joins her instead of being somehow defeated. And at the end of it all this works, and Akito dissolves the zodiac and with it most of her power and her godhood of her own accord.

Despite their relative lack of page time, Tohru and Akito’s relationship has always been something that I come back to. Sure, a lot of that is just sentiment as they meant a lot to me when I was younger, but I think there’s something there. They work amazingly as protagonist and antagonist, contrasting nicely and working as symbols of both sides of the thematic conflict. There’s a palpable tension to their early interactions that makes you both scared and interested to see what happens when these two inevitably have to go head to head. But then, as the story goes on, it seems more and more like they are a tragedy, so similar yet on different sides of the story, fated to have one of them stuck with an unhappy ending brought on by the other.

But, even as dark as it gets, that wouldn’t really be Fruits Basket, would it? In the end, Tohru and Akito’s similarities win out, not their differences. I think it would have been so easy to just make this a story where the sweet heroine “saves” the villain just because, but that is so blatantly not what’s going on. Tohru simply sees herself in Akito, she’s not trying to somehow fix her and nor should she have to, she just wants to be her friend. And then the two manage to overcome their driving fear of moving on, forging new bonds and inspired by their interaction with the other. It’s not like Tohru somehow fixes Akito’s problems, Akito has to do things herself and in fact independence is a big theme of her endgame arc. Tohru simply offered her friendship, and that was enough. There’s a distinction to be made between how Tohru inspires Akito and Tohru somehow “saving” her, because Akito very much has to learn to save herself in the end after a lifetime of pushing her issues onto others. And, as a side note, all this is sort of why it bugs me when people act like Tohru would be like a mom to Akito. First off, Tohru shouldn’t have to be the mom to everyone. And, kind as she is, Tohru is also not a Kureno, she sees and interacts with Akito in a completely different way and their relationships with Akito are one of the big points were Tohru and Kureno differ. Second off, Akito has spent her life coddled and clinging onto anything that she can hold onto as a resemblance of parental affection to a toxic degree. Part of her arc is that she needs to grow out of this, become more independent, and have more balanced relationships. Akito at this point does not want or need to make a mommy figure out of one of her peers, and doing so may in fact be regressive. Sure, she will definitely need a level of guidance going forward, but it would be more beneficial for her to learn from example and under more of a friendly, balanced context coming from multiple people, not one person holding her hand. For all the reasons I’ve gone over in this entire post, I think it is much more meaningful for Akito to have Tohru as what she was canonically presented as in text: someone who sees her as an equal. The whole point of their relationship is, again, the defiance of hierarchies, something which I think is often sorely overlooked even though it is very openly there in text. And that, in part, is why I think their relationship is so powerful to me. Beyond hero and villain, right or wrong, or any story roles, it’s about two girls finding solidarity and friendship on a very personal, human level. This is Akito for the first time being seen not as this distant, untouchable male deity or some pitiful being, but as a flawed, hurt human girl who is nonetheless capable of change and being loved. This is Tohru coming out of hiding, presenting her flawed, terrified human self to someone she saw as an enemy. Fruits basket is, in part, a story about friendship and defeating systems of power and abuse. Even in a messy third act that muddles its themes at times by weighing character endings too heavily on het romantic love, especially in regards to the women (Hello Rin, Machi, Uo, ect.), Tohru and Akito stand out as a friendship that is given a huge amount of narrative weight. It just feels nice that, in a story that often focused on the power of relationships between women only to ditch all that and focus primarily on their relationships with men, these two girls are one of the driving forces of the endgame. The curse didn’t get broken by romantic love, but by the friendships everyone made along the way, including Tohru and Akito. Tohru has gotten it to this point, and now Akito just needs to bring it to a close and finally end things. At the very beggining, before this all started, all the cat wanted was for the God was to move forward and live as a person among the humans, and, finally, a long time later that wish was granted. The tale of the zodiac gets its happy ending not by a villain being defeated, but by the power of friendship and solidarity between women.

#fruits basket #akito sohma #tohru honda #fruits basket spoilers #meta

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shinidamachu · 3 years

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So I'm gonna play devil's advocate for a minute: The anime emphasizes the love triangle, but could you defend it to a certain point with the anime? E.g. although Inuyasha was sealed to the tree for 50 years, to him it felt like yesterday so when he awoke, emotions are still high and raw. I also think that seeing his past lover come back to life would possibly reignite those feelings? Does this make sense (or am I just talking out of my ass)? 🤣 What are your thoughts? Is this a plausible take?

Hey! I assume you're talking about this post?

I honestly can’t defend it. Not in the manga, much less in the anime. But I don’t mind the people who enjoyed it at all. Like, it’s really subjective? And I respect everyone’s opinions because in the end of the day it’s all a matter of personal taste, so your take does make sense and it’s totally plausible.

You see, I’m actually very protective of Inuyasha’s feelings. I think it made perfect sense for him to act the way he did, considering his character and the impossible situation he was in. I’m not saying he did everything right. Quite the contrary: he made many mistakes, but I do believe he was trying his best to deal with it.

The problem is that the fandom doesn’t give him enough credit for it, because they refuse to acknowledge his feelings past the disservice that was the “can’t I have both?” line. And this is a very superficial take on his feelings, which were incredibly complex and deep. Especially because Inuyasha was playing a losing game. Someone would end up hurt, no matter what he did. And whenever he tried to prevent that from happening, it just blew up on his face.

I agree that Inuyasha waking up to his still high and raw emotions, plus seeing his past lover coming back to life, definitely reignited those feelings. Feelings he never actually had the chance to truly process because things just kept happening one after the other as the main plot started.

I’d argue, though, that those emotions still being addressed and the lack of a love triangle are not mutual exclusive. Both things could have been done. His feelings would be high and raw after he woke up, regardless of ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ’s ressurrection. And at first, Kagome’s mere existence would be enough to reignite those feelings, since she is ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ’s reincarnation and they look so alike. At least until he learned to see Kagome as Kagome.

Plus, ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ wasn’t entirely back. Her body, made out of clay and graveyard soil, was fulled by stolen souls. Don’t get me wrong, Inuyasha was pretty much impacted by her presence, still. But we, the audience, knew that she couldn’t keep living like that and therefore her days were numbered. We knew that ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ dragging Inuyasha to hell or staying with him even though she wasn’t truly alive anymore was highly unlikely.

This, combined with the fact that ɪɴᴜᴋɪᴋ never truly made any romantic progress after ᴋɪᴋʏᴏ came back unless Kagome was convenently there to see it, causing dramatic conflict between her and Inuyasha that was then used to flesh out and develop their relationship, made everything get real old real fast because we knew he would go back to Kagome every time and nothing would really change. I can’t get mad at Inuyasha because I understand his reasons, but I can get mad at the writers because they milked the love triangle to the point of frustration without really developping ɪɴᴜᴋɪᴋ in the process, so it just felt like a huge waste of time. When you get mad at the characters, that’ a good sign. When you get mad at the writers, though, that’s a problem.

That being said, I guess my main issue with it is that... the feelings we agreed were reignited on Inuyasha? I think they’re profound. I think they’re complicated. I do not think they’re love, though. The narrative was constantly trying to sell it as such, I’ll give them that. But to me, personally, it failed spectacularly. I think it’s great for the people who managed to see it. I, however, could never buy it.

And this is fine. Like I said, it's all very subjective. Not everyone will interpret the story the same way. Which, again, is fine.

#Inuyasha #Kagome #Kagome Higurashi #Inukag #Sidmailing #Thank you for passing by

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theonceoverthinker · 3 years

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I wish I could be happy, but I’m not

(I made a thread of this on Twitter this morning, but I’m going to elaborate on it here because as you’ll see in a different sense on this post, character limits are BS)

So I'm not gonna lie, I think the line about Clover that many in my neck of the fandom are getting excited over isn't the loving acknowledgment of how Qrow felt about Clover that many seem to think it is.

Follow me on this one:

Is it good that Clover was finally explicitly brought up? Yes.

Did they do it in a terrible way? YUP, and I'll explain how in just a moment.

Am I surprised? Less than I ever wanted to be.

Actually, before I begin, because I KNOW people are gonna come after me for this post one way or another, I just want to ask those people if they think I LIKE being this negative? Do they think I LIKE being so cynical towards a show that I used to have so much fun with, a show that I was starting to trust? Don’t you think I want to be excited about Volume 8 with everyone else, and that prior to Volume 7, I wasn’t having the time of my life thinking about and enthusiastically waiting for the new episodes.

No, believe me, I’d be thrilled to enjoy this new volume with everyone else, but after the waking nightmare that was 7X12 (An episode that keeps getting worse and worse the more you look at it, as if an evil version of a Where’s Waldo artbook), CRWBY made it pretty apparent to not trust them as far as I can throw them, to guard my heart, and to temper any positive expectations I have for this show because they can and will likely let me down.

Full disclosure: I’m not watching the volume itself in the traditional sense: I’m having the context of the scenes explained to me by a wonderful friend, and seeing and reading the dialogue and facial expressions of the scenes through gifs, pictures, and the like on various Twitter and Tumblr blogs. That having been said, I take confidence that I am getting an accurate and complete understanding of the Qrow scenes.

Okay, let’s go...under the cut because this got LONG!

The line that starts with "The thing that really stings..." is the line in question, just in case there was any doubt since Qrow speaks a fair bit in this episode (Yes, I’ve read through the full line, but this post is already gonna be long enough without transcribing the whole thing, here it is if you haven’t checked it out yet). It comes up right after Qrow talks about Clover's death.

“The thing that really stings” is a crucial opening line. It implies that on a list of important matters pertaining to the given topic being touched upon, what he’s about to state is the most important of them.

And what does he go on to talk about after that opener?

Semblances. Just semblances, or rather, just his semblance.

Qrow talks about how he was finally entertaining the notion that there was somebody he could be around without having to worry about his semblance complicating things, but that he now believes that possibility was nothing but a childish dream.

This line (which I HOPE is just accidentally clunky because I DO want the Staff Theory to be true so we can start to recover from all this BS in a way that lets me keep enjoying this series) is a lot more harmful to the Fair Game relationship than anyone in the Clover and Fair Game fandom seems to think it is. I genuinely don't want to rain on anyone's parade because I know a large part of my fandom is pretty excited about it, but I can't leave this alone.

I'll be frank: This line implies that Clover's death on it's own (The act of the character of Clover dying, his entire being, personality and all) isn't as important to Qrow as what that death symbolizes. All it does is just talk about how Clover meant he could be around someone and not have his semblance mess things up.

It doesn't discuss the bond they formed over their time in Atlas together. It doesn't discuss how Clover was someone who was addressing his self-loathing and absence of a team or how they cared about each other. These things would imply that Clover meant something to him as a person outside of his semblance.

Now did the paragraph need to go into detail about or even discuss Clover and Qrow’s bond? Not necessarily, but with a line starting with "what really stings" that only on to talk about Clover as he relates to his semblance undercuts what made Clover's character so beloved in the first place.

Clover fans didn't fall in love with Clover because of his semblance. It was an interesting aspect of his character, sure, but it wasn’t the only one by a long shot.

We fell in love with Clover's unique personality, how he was cocky without the pompousness or bullying that tends to come with that cockiness, as well as his emotional softness and how it contrasted with our expectations at every turn, even extending to his support-suiting weapon.

We fell in love with how Clover, even dealing with people he was technically sort of opposed to like Robyn Hill, he made every effort to be diplomatic, careful towards her election, and sincere.

We fell in love with how Clover, unlike the rest of his team, was the notable exception to the rule of the Ace Ops not being friends with their teammates.

We fell in love with the many, many interesting visual aspects of his character design, both individually as well as how closely they mirrored Qrow’s.

We fell in love with the concern he had for Qrow, someone who Qrow was finally on an equal playing field with and could grow to trust as well as willingly and happily team up with.

We fell in love with Clover’s persistence in getting close to him and having Qrow come to a place where he could acknowledge his own worth.

So understand that this line says that the thing about Clover that left the biggest impression on Qrow (And by extension in terms of the show’s meta narrative, the audience) was not that character that we cared for because of who he was, but instead that Qrow cares more about how Clover benefitted him personally on a strictly utilitarian level than the actual connection he and Clover shared as people.

That sentiment does an incredible disservice to Clover's character. Despite what those who defend 7X12 felt, Clover was a character with dimension (And by no means was an Adam, just to stop that garbage comparison in its tracks before it comes up again). What that line does is callously strips away that dimension to make Clover almost something closer to a one-note manic pixie dream boy, and only for the purposes of his semblance, at that.

That’s not good writing, and it shouldn’t be as revered as it presently is (I know the episode’s only a few hours old at the time of writing this, but this seems to be the line’s perception by the Clover and Fair Game fandoms).

More than anything -- more than the possibility of Jailbirds becoming canon, or the lack of connecting Clover and the staff this volume -- this sentiment that Clover’s only worth came from his semblance said by Qrow himself (The character who spent a lot of time bonding with him) makes me worried about whether or not we will actually get a Clover revival.

Again, I don't want to ruin anyone's fun (Though I know I risk it just by making this and will probably be subject to all manner of online torment as a result because that’s just the way things go around here), but I think we Clover fans need to acknowledge the dangerous wording of this line and temper our expectations accordingly.

Today's Clovember theme is 'wish.' I'm not gonna stop wishing for Clover's return. I'm not gonna stop hoping for Clover's return, either.

However, I don't want another 7X12 to happen to myself or the various others in the fandom that I’ve grown to care about this past year again. I can’t ignore a bad sign when it’s staring me in the face, leaving such a foul taste in my mouth in the way that this is. Fair Game Buddies and Clover fans alike, please just be careful. I love you all.

#clover ebi #rwby spoilers #clover deserved better #fair game #qrow branwen

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digitalhovel · 3 years

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Late to the Party: Wolf 359 and personhood

I wrote the first draft of this piece in July 2020, but I never got around to editing it before my Fall classes started and my life became a hectic world of crunch. So, finally edited: here are my incredibly, remarkably am-I-too-late-to-comment thoughts on Wolf 359. New posts coming soon!

Wolf 359 was an audio drama created by Gabriel Urbina that ran from 2014 to 2017, featuring an incredible group of voice actors, excellent writing, and a story that is, at various turns, humorous, adventurous, haunting, tragic, and compelling. It was a forerunner for the podcast explosion that has swept through pop culture in the last decade and continues growing. Perhaps it just feels that way because of how much I’ve seen it lauded on the internet, but I believe it’s true.

If I were pitching this podcast to someone, I would sell it on the story. A small crew of people orbits a faraway star, listening to the frequencies of space for any signal that may be unusual. Though it begins as a relatively campy, workplace comedy about toothpaste rationing and plant monsters, the story takes steep turns into hard science fiction and rich, character-focused drama that captures the listener and drives them through to the story’ completion. Through the close quarters of the increasingly unreliable Hephaestus space station, the writers never give the characters enough space to avoid their problems and slow the plot down. This closeness also creates a sense of kindred and family that pervades the show’s themes and makes the audience feel that the characters really have something worth fighting for. Those characters begin relatively archetypically: Renée Minkowski is an uptight commanding officer, Doug Eiffel is a slacker and all-around generic man, Alexander Hilbert is a “mad scientist,” and Hera is a governing, feminine A.I. presence. However, by the end of the show, each is given the agency and opportunity to be the main character of an arc, and each grows beyond the limits of their original shells. The craft in the writing and design of this show is remarkable on its own, but the messages it delivers in the story set it apart as more than speculative fiction.

Okay, so I’m about to go hard into spoiler with this one. If you haven’t listened to the show, I would highly recommend doing so if you’re interested. If you already have, or if you don’t care, on we go.

Wolf 359 has many themes. It questions the values of discipline and rebellion, it contemplates what sacrifices are worthwhile to achieve a greater good, and, most existentially, it asks what it means to be a sentient, living person. The podcast confronts this issue time and again, examining it through the lenses of clones and artificial intelligence. The fundamental conclusion the series suggests is: if you appear to be a person, and if you have all the memories of that person, and you continue striving to be that person, then you functionally are that person.

But what happens if you suffer complete and total amnesia?

In the final episode of the series, Doug Eiffel, bad idea extraordinaire, sacrifices his memories in order to also wipe the mind of Dr. Helena Price, one of the show’s primary antagonists. Because of this, Eiffel ends the show reflecting on a life he can’t remember, comforted by his friends, whom he is now 100% more respectful towards. So, if this new man is Doug Eiffel, what does that mean for him and his arc as a character?

Doug Eiffel is a jerk. He disobeys instructions, he calls people by insensitive or offensive nicknames, and he acts as if his needs are the only ones that matter. He is the archetypal ideal of a straight, white man. His casual attitude provides a great deal of humor throughout the series, especially during its less plot-centric beginnings before space things start happening. It isn’t until the final season of the show that he learns how his actions have hurt and alienated the people around him, the only friends he knows. After this, he makes an effort to correct some of his behaviors, but he doesn’t have much time, because he is soon sucked into a star and put through a series of plot developments that prevent him from experiencing evident growth in how he treats and respects other people. This makes his sudden mind-wipe reversal seem like a shortcut. The new Doug Eiffel recognizes his previous self was an asshole and can now start again, but the emotional journey necessary to reach this point naturally is cut short. He gets a free pass on moral development, and it denies the audience a truly satisfying end to that part of is arc.

The other significant part of Eiffel’s arc and motivation is the revelation that he has a daughter, whom he was prevented from seeing after he kidnapped her while drunk and proceeded to get into a car crash that injured his daughter and the passengers of the other vehicle. This information came to light in episode 35, during season three. The possibility of seeing his daughter again became the primary motivation for Eiffel, when before it was simply escaping space so he could get back to the luxuries of Earth such as porn and television. Honestly, this revelation works well. It provides conflict between Eiffel and Minkowski, who now has to decide whether Eiffel is a good person or not. It also provides depth and a severe flaw to Eiffel’s character that makes it difficult to accept him as the plucky “everyman” he acted as for the majority of the show. His memory loss comes at the immense cost of forgetting everyone he cares about, but he barely addresses this in the finale after waking up with amnesia. Perhaps this is the most sensible conclusion. With no memory, his daughter is just another person he has forgotten, and his logged memories will tell him more about the crew of the Hephaestus than his own family. But again, this removes the emotional weight from his character.

This could mean any number of things. The plot could have required this, and Doug, needing that moment of selflessness to develop as an individual, was the most fitting crew member to lose their memories. It could be that Doug’s memories were wiped because the writers realized he was beyond redemption, and only a new slate would provide him the opportunity to change. It could be that this complication was intended from the beginning, and ending Doug’s arc without complete growth was both a human choice and a message about people who don’t change before its too late. No matter what, Doug’s arc ends abruptly, and it feels dissatisfying to have a magical reset button for him when the other characters have to keep their own memories of trauma (some caused by him, even).

This calls into question what Wolf 359 says about personhood. Personhood is defined by memory and experience in the series. This includes, most importantly, trauma. Betrayal, responsibility, and insecurity induced by trauma severely shape the arcs of every crew member of the Hephaestus. Eiffel escapes all this. It comes at a high cost, but if the show’s message about personhood is that it comes from memories, then Eiffel’s character arc ends in a single selfless act that acquits him of the consequences of his previous mistakes and wrongdoings. The Eiffel who wakes up with no memories is a different character, and pretending he isn’t does a disservice to his story in the previous 60 episodes.

Wolf 359 has a wildly humanist message, and though the conclusion of Eiffel’s arc undercuts some of them, the series still gives many of the characters the endings they deserve. It is at turns hilarious, terrifying, and awe-inspiring. The story delivers on its evolution from hijinks into philosophical contemplation, and for that it deserves recognition, respect, and another binge listen once I’ve made it through my back catalogue.

#thedigitalhovel #Digital Hovel #HovelReviews #podcast review #wolf 359 #review #w359 spoilers

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dotthings · 5 years

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While usually I’d post my ep-watching notes, I’m skipping that this time because 15.03 is such a deep dive emotionally on multiple character points. Also I’d normally rewatch before going into more depth on any one point but the Dean and Cas part in particular is a raw wound I need to get my thoughts out before I lose what’s left of my mind because of this show. That was a LOT.

Disclaimer because fandom is how it is: I will block anybody who brings character hate onto this post. You will, especially, not reblog me just to screech I have no right to consider Dean’s pov seriously and treat him as a human being and that Dean has no right to feelings how dare u. Disagreement is fine, if you see the characters and story from a slightly different angle, so long as the discussion’s in good faith, we’re good.

I’ve talked here a few times about why Dean feels the way he does about recent events, why he has a right to anger, hurt, pain, and this is a little similar, as I’m definitely not going to stop treating Dean like the layered, sympathetic, complicated character that he is any time soon, and he has every right to the anger and the hurt and the pain, but in this specific scene, his words are in the wrong. It’s in the same zip code as “you’re dead to me” and Dean delivering ultimatums to Cas, both of which are things I’ve criticized. This doesn’t mean Dean doesn’t have a right to his feelings or I’m going to ignore why he might act the way he does instead of knee jerk simplifying, which does the character, the story, his relationship with Cas, and the entire show a disservice. He has a right to that anger, fear, pain, hurt. However there’s a distinction between things Cas actually did where I can see why Dean might still be upset with him—shutting Dean out, not trusting Dean enough, not trusting in THEM enough--and then there’s Dean saying things are are untrue and unfair.

In the final scene of 15.03 Dean pins every screw up onto Cas, he uses the word “always” and it is a shockingly unfair statement, and you could make a history reel of Team Free Will demonstrating how off-canon that statement is. Let’s not repeat that cyclical thing, because it’s a trap like a hamster wheel and maybe some infernal device of Chuck’s to get fandom to fight, but anyone with an ounce of sense, who pays attention to canon, can see that Sam, Dean, and Cas have set things in motion that make big messes, repeatedly.

What Dean says plays into all of Cas’s deepest insecurities and fears, and the intention of the episode is very very clear that even Dean doesn’t believe what he’s saying. He says it anyway, which is a whole mess right there and I’ll get into that, but the things Dean says to Cas aren’t Dean’s truth. Jensen’s incredible, beautiful acting makes it obvious immediately not only that Dean doesn’t truly believe what he’s saying, but that Dean deeply regrets it the second they come out of his mouth. Most people have at one time or another said stupid things in anger they don’t really believe, or give into the impulse to lash out. Dean’s tendency to do this isn’t constructive or positive behavior, it’s a character flaw, but he is also a sympathetically portrayed character, not an asshole or an abuser, and we are always shown the sources of the hurt and the pain that brings him to that point. That doesn’t mean he can do that to Cas and it’s perfectly okay. But it’s a deeply ugly, bad hot take to treat Dean as monstrous or abusive.

Understanding where the pain comes from that gets Dean to the point he’d lash out like this doesn’t mean that what comes out of his mouth on the other end is right.

There is no part of Dean that really thinks Cas ruined everything and is always what makes things go wrong. It’s actually laughable to suggest this—I will for reals laugh at anyone who tries to earnestly argue that as a reliable take on canon. That’s pretty much someone who has divorced the canon and isn’t paying attention to years and years of material. This line isn’t in fact actually about Cas ruining Team Free Will save the world plans. It’s something much deeper, about Dean’s fears and Cas’s. Which I’ll get to a sec.

Dean also is incredibly unfair in blaming Cas for Rowena’s death, and if Cas had just let Bel devour all those souls and become a Lucifer-level problem, TFW would again be completely screwed. And he is also uncharacteristically cold to Cas about sending him on the mission to Hell with Bel. These are all red flags and build-up to the final scene.

Fandom loves to yell about OOCness. This isn’t OOC, these things, this hurt, they are a part of Dean, but they aren’t how he really feels about things, they are purposefully crafted as red flags to show the audience something is wrong. Not that Dean isn’t himself, or possessed. It’s like a figurative, emotional possession. His deep sense of despair is eating him alive and his relationship with Cas is taking a hit from it.

It’s also interesting Dean voices what AU Michael said, which was AU Michael using Dean’s greatest fears about how Cas might perceive how Dean feels about him. This isn’t proof that AU Michael was speaking the truth about how Dean feels after all. It’s that Dean remembers witnessing AU Michael saying that to Cas, taunting Cas with it, and it’s still among Dean’s big fears—that Cas thinks he ruined Dean’s life, that Dean doesn’t love him back and blames him for all the troubles. Then there’s Dean’s fears that Cas doesn’t love him back, that Dean ruined an angel, Cas’s falling was his fault and so every bad thing that happens to Cas, deep down, Dean self-loathes himself for.

Dean has done a lot of growing but the vestiges of the Dean in S9 who said “I’m poison” are still there. That kind of thing doesn’t just magically go away never to return.

And here’s this huge chasm that has opened under Dean’s feet. Dean is doubting the meaning of his entire life right now, because of the revelation about Chuck. Because of Dean wondering if anything he’s gone through is “real” — if any of his actions and feelings and pain and struggling and losses and wins had any real meaning at all or was it all puppeted. It was good in this ep seeing Dean not giving up, determined to fend off or seal away the ghosts, and up yours, Chuck, but he isn’t over his sense of despair.

One of Dean’s fears here is that what’s between him and Cas isn’t real, that the things Cas did, for him, their closeness, none of that was authentic. Remember that their relationship started as *movie announcer voice* it was only supposed to be a mission...it became something more. Cas’s introduction into Dean’s life was Cas as a chess piece, sent as part of Heaven’s bigger clockwork plan.

Dean’s entire world is caving in, and he’s not ready to see that everything Cas feels for him, Cas's deep and genuine love for him, is in fact very, scarily, in your face real.

He’s shutting himself off, he’s shutting Cas out. The feelings he has for Cas aren’t gone, but Dean’s a mess.

Interesting how this ep shows a demon ripping Ketch’s heart out of his chest, because Dean figuratively rips his own heart out of his chest in the last scene with him and Cas. He hurts someone he really REALLY doesn’t want to hurt, who he loves so so much--you can insert here a sizzle reel of 11 seasons of Dean listening to Cas, defending Cas, offering Cas shelter and protection, saving Cas’s life, caring about Cas, being there for Cas, grieving for Cas, feeling insecure about Cas, showing fondness for Cas, in one way or the other. There is so much. That doesn’t mean the relationship doesn’t have problems or their own issues and poor coping mechanisms and circumstance and familial dynamics haven’t made things difficult at times. Dean hurts Cas on the most raw, biggest fear Cas has and interestingly, the biggest fear or criticism Cas fans have about the show.

And there’s Bel—demon of marital strife—playing on Cas’s fears all throughout the ep, taking little digs about how expendable Cas is, how unimportant he is to his friends. He’s like the angel in S11 who tells Cas he’s expendable and Sam and Dean “are the real heroes.” Maybe it was part of Bel’s plan all along to have Dean and Cas divided, along with his bigger take over Hell agenda.

I’ve been saying this and saying this--while it’s valid that Dean is still hurt over what happened with Cas, Jack, and Mary, and is still, remember, rawly grieving Mary’s death which was mere DAYS AGO—it’s also not actually what it’s about, and it’s not even entirely about Dean’s Chuck-induced despair, although that ground falling away is what’s pushing things to this point. What it’s actually about underneath is Dean and Cas and their relationship. Years of unresolved Dean and Cas issues. I sure called that one. Dean’s fears. Cas’s fears. Dean’s abandonment issues, Cas’s leaving, Dean’s fears of losing Cas, Cas’s fears of not being loved, Dean’s fears of Cas not loving him the way he loves Cas.

One thing that is so so tragic about Dean’s despair is that just last season, Dean reached a point of self-like. Liking who he is, who he’s becoming, the family he’s chosen. Being good with his life.

And then boo the crushing reveal that Chuck was manipulating their circumstances all this time. Which doesn’t mean Chuck was controlling them or their decisions or feelings. But Dean doesn’t feel that way.

Which, emotional horror that this is, also just serves to show just how much Cas actually means to him, how important Cas is. This big Destiel drama and hurt and pain rises from Dean and Cas loving each other and being in love and being complete and utter dumbasses. It hurts. It’s supposed to hurt. Their friendship has been mostly functional. Their love story is a car wreck. If Cas wasn’t so important, all this emotional horror wouldn’t be taking place. Dean and Cas’s relationship right now is a lightning rod for the fallout on pretty much everything.

And it’s really strong, and it’s going to endure this, but not without taking some hits to the bow.

On Cas’s part, Cas isn’t in a great headspace but he’s in a less self-destructive and harmful and despairing headspace than Dean. He has grown a lot and I think a few seasons ago, Cas would have endured, looked grim and said nothing, and stayed. He would stay doubting himself, or stay thinking Dean is really unfair, but he’d stoically take it. But not this time, and Cas did the only thing he could now. He had to leave. There’s only so much hurt he can take and Dean is shutting him out and not listening to him.

Here’s the twist about Cas. He both does and doesn’t believe Dean is speaking his truth. Cas’s gutted, shocked face at what Dean says brings Dean up short, it’s so raw. Dean’s realization of OH F*CK WHAT DID I JUST DO comes instantly, both from his own words ringing in his ears and from Cas’s reaction. The thing about Cas’s reaction, is that it has a bit of “oh you did not JUST” to it, where I think maybe Cas knows this is total BS and Dean is full of it but Cas also believes it. Cas feels like a failure. He feels like he has failed everyone. And now here’s Dean, his favorite person in the actual literal universe, telling him he is. Blaming him, when Cas knows intellectually that it isn’t actually all Cas’s fault, but nobody blames Cas for things more than Cas himself does.

This jacks right back into all of Cas’s deepest fears about not belonging. About being lonely. About being expendable and the afterthought in Team Free Will. One thing I’ve pointed out over and over is part of Cas’s drive to protect Jack is needing to be needed. Dean and Cas is not a parallel relationship to Sam and Dean, it wasn’t formed the same way, it doesn’t function the same way. They are very very close, but there also is no Sam to Cas’s Dean, until Jack. This is not about seeking or needing a codependent relationship. Putting it more baldly, while there’s a brothers-in-arms aspect to Dean and Cas, they are not sibling bonds/like-sibling bonds/parent-child like bonds, Dean and Cas are lovers, spouses, chosen not-actually-platonic life-mates, they are coded as a couple or as spousal over and over. Strip that layer out and trying to meta this becomes a lot of “but why??”

The answers are simple. Don’t strip out the subtext, and the by now textually-level implied nature of Dean and Cas’s relationship. Which doesn’t mean I am saying it’s been consummated, but it also is what it is.

I’ve also pointed out how Cas’s immortality offers him the emotional horror of being the survivor, of Sam and Dean dying and Cas losing them and living forever onward without them. Ironically, becoming so attached to Sam and Dean fed his loneliness, because now he has that fear of losing them and living on forever without them.

Cas too has done a lot of growing, and like Dean, just last season showed how far he’d come. In Cas’s case, when he voiced that he knew Sam and Dean were there for him, and that Cas realized that he was enough. But as with Dean, those deepest shadows and insecurities don’t just magically go away and Cas still fears that he doesn’t mean to Sam and Dean what they mean to him and Cas, right now, feels like a failure to everyone he loves. Shoulder tap from another Dean and Cas parallel—“you fight and you fight for this family, but they don’t need you, not like you need them” which the YED used to taunt Dean way back when.

No matter how much Cas might understand about what Dean really feels, or about his own actual culpability, I don’t see how Cas could do anything now but walk out. Cas has never left Dean because he needed to leave Dean, because staying with Dean hurt too much. Cas has had to leave Dean, or left Dean, at various points for various reasons and it was never because he personally needed to leave because of his Dean feelings. Cas has had to leave because of world-saving stakes angel business missions, or because he was captured, or brainwashed, or murdered, or because his own headstrong decisions resulted in events that separated them, or he was protecting their son Jack. It wasn’t because Cas wanted to leave. Cas doesn’t want to leave now but he also needs to, personally.

The fact that Cas so candidly stated those fears here startled me. I was hopeful for more emotional candidness, but this is even farther than I’d hoped. This is going to the root. And yes it is incredibly exciting. As emotionally horrifying as this storyline is, the purpose is to move things forward to an even better place. This arc isn’t here for destruction. Things are being shaken out big time and it’s only going to make the bonds stronger once things are worked out. There’s already been a string of big moments in the show’s history showing just how deeply Cas is loved, and how much Dean loves him. If you were waiting for even more verification, just wait for it.

What’s also leaving me SHOOK is how very very very SPECIFIC this is. There’s a reason my Dean individual meta and my Cas individual meta is all mashed together here in a post that veers into talk about how Destiel is real. It’s things like this that show me recent SPN is serious as a heart attack about Destiel. Even if they can’t make it overt. I think a distinction needs to be made between overt/not-overt vs canon/not-canon. Destiel being non-overt doesn’t make its intention and its presence in the story not-canon. But my main point, this final scene isn’t about Team Free Will or a collective “how Cas feels about humanity.” This is unambiguously about Dean, and about Cas, and about Dean & Cas and their long relationship, and SPN is really f*cking serious about how important this is to both of them and how important it is to the show’s story.

#Dean Winchester #Castiel #meta #destiel #spn #supernatural #supernatural spoilers

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thinkingbookthoughts · 3 years

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Exile From Eden pt. 3/3

Women. [Spoilers]

I don't think his depictions of women are bad. I think they're complicated and often disappointing.

Our understanding of every woman in both books is filtered through a teenage boy who is trying to figure them out without… ever asking them. I don’t necessarily fault the characters for that, I know I wasn’t the most thoughtful, empathetic person on the planet when I was 16, but still, the result is that we only ever know our protagonists. This normally wouldn’t bother me, a more or less first-person book is bound to run into that limitation, but UGh the women and girls of both of these stories could have been so much more than they were.

There is definite improvement in Exile, but in Grasshopper the women and girls of the story are more or less set dressing… Acting more than once as little more than wombs to produce more male characters for Austin to empathize with and talk about. The way he talks about his grandmothers… I just… was it strictly necessary to describe your grandmother’s breasts as being like frosted cupcakes… at least 2 separate times…? I’d like to know what that contributed. Please. Tell me. The girl who gets the worst of it in the first book is absolutely Shann. I really LIKE Shann. She is cool and funny and interesting (from what little we have of her) and yet her only role in the story is to act as one of the ingredients to Austin’s internal struggle. And then to… give birth to a second male protagonist for you to empathize with and read about… I was really hoping for her to get more in the second book, and she kind of just doesn’t. She’s so shafted by this story. And I’m not just talking about the things that happen to her, you’re allowed to have a female character not have a happy ending. I’m talking about the way the story (if a story could be said to have a will of its own, or maybe cough cough I’m talking about the writer) just does not care about her. She’s not a sexy lamp, but oh dear god does she come very close.

By the second book, we have Mel, Connie, Wendy, and Shann. Who are all living breathing women(and girl) who actually exist in the story and even have dialogue! Incredible. And we get to spend time with them, not a ton, but it’s massive compared to Grasshopper. The issue I have with the women in Exile is that while they have far more going on than the women of Grasshopper, it’s always from a distance and met with confusion. Yes, these women are complex and dare I say, realistic, but everything they go through is happening somewhere Arek can’t see. A limitation of the narration……… except it’s not. We get all kinds of information we probably shouldn’t, to the point where Austin just straight-up has to say “look, I’m not going to tell you where all this came from, just trust me.” And you do. Arek’s narration works more or less the same way. We could have had a better understanding of why these women are the complicated, messy ways they are. We just don’t. And that’s not necessarily bad, that’s life, babe. But because it’s specifically women, over and over again, whose hurt and trauma remains unexplored, with our only glimpse into them being Arek saying something along the lines of “I just don’t get it.” While most of the male characters, by comparison, seem super well adjusted (all things considered) and cool and are treated with understanding and respect? COME. ON. If I were being unkind, I’d say it has a very “broads, eh?” vibe to it.

And with Mel… I don’t dislike Mel, but who is she? We spend WAY more time with her than we ever did with Shann, and yet… I feel like I know way less about her. All I can really remember of her is that… Arek thinks she’s brave and blissfully uncomplicated and way way smarter than he’d ever be. Again, we get the suggestion that there’s more going on behind what is plainly visible to Arek, but no… actual… page time… spent on it… If it weren’t for the fact that I’m supposed to believe she’s like, a human, with feelings and stuff, and a teenager at that, I’d really think there was just nothing going on in her head all the time. A huge disservice to Mel, and frankly, the teenagers reading the book. Stop letting boys believe that girls are these smart, perfect, mature superhumans who are just better, and more equipped to deal with things, or else ditzy and useless. Fuck that. Come ON, ANDREW. I KNOW YOU’VE MET A GIRL.

Whether positive or not, it is still relegation to the other. It feels to me like he others women constantly, without really trying to understand them. Painting them as brave and strong and complex, yes, but unfathomably so. Their pain, their strength is different, unknowable. And I just don't think that's fair.

And dear god, do not get me STARTED on the whole “boys will always want to go away :(“ thing. Every time that line came up I nearly rolled my eyes out of my got damn skull. I believe you, Andrew, I do. But did you ever stop to consider that girls want to go away too? That a sense of adventure and longing are not actually gendered? Look at me… I’ve got started, haven’t I… Well, I’ll say this and I’ll leave it at that: I hate this because girls do want to go away. They want to run and never come back. They want to let go of stifling home lives and societal expectations and find something cool and crazy that no one has ever seen but them! MAYBE EVEN MORE THAN YOU DO. But at the very least, as much as you do. There are a lot of reasons they might not, but it sure as hell isn’t because they don’t want to. And every time I read “boys just want to go away,” followed by some implication that women could just never understand that drive… It fucking hurt, man. It’s straight-up dehumanizing. And it makes me think of all the women and girls who dream of going away. And all the men and boys who think they don’t have the same feelings as them.

There are things that come with womanhood that would be difficult for someone who hasn't lived it to understand, but I genuinely don't believe it's impossible. Or at least we can get a lot closer to it than Smith seems to be willing to in these books.

It’s a shame, really. I don’t know the guy, and probably never will, but from these books, I feel like he is an empathetic person who tries to understand the ways that people work. The ways that their lived experiences, and even the entire history of the world, come together to create a person. And fuck does it suck that the same level of attention and care is just not extended to the women in these two books to anywhere near the same degree. I’ve not read his other work yet, so I hope that I will continue to see improvement there.

#Exile From Eden #books #booksbooksbooks #bookblr #booklr #book thoughts #spoiling the whole concept of women #srry lads

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megalodont · 3 years

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Salty asks - 2, 4, 20, 23? :D

2. Are there any popular fantom OTPs you only BroTP?

for sure: chengqing! those two as best friends, being judgemental together? just..the salt, the incredible amount of salt. i live for it. like can you imagine the way they’d talk to each other, people who didn’t know them would assume they were mortal enemies bc they would NOT hold back. and god forbid you’re ever the object of both their scorn at the same time. you though it was bad when one tore into you while the other looked on in amusement, occasionally insulting their insults? honey, you’ve got a big storm coming.

4. Do you have a NoTP in your fandom? Are thy a popular OTP?

hmm, i might have to think about that one for a sec. xiancheng is the first one i thought of, i think a lot of westerners feel similarly on that one though so i wouldn’t say it’s popular in english-speaking fandom. i understand it isn’t the most accurate interpretation of the chinese to say it feels incesty? but i still prefer them as brothers, it makes me happiest.

anything with wen ruohan is going to rub me the wrong way as well, but thankfully that’s super not a popular ship.

oh, i know a popular one: i also don’t like nielan much? i don’t know if it still counts as a notp if i’m just neutral to the point of boredom, but that’s how i feel. it doesn’t bother me but i’ve never read any either. strangely enough i do enjoy a bit of 3zun though--i think that’s mostly carried by the xiyao and nieyao parts. i am sure there are nielan fics out there i’d enjoy, but i have no real motivation to seek them out. sorry nielan fans! intellectually i do get it!

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

hmmmmmmmmmmm zhuiyi? maybe? those two are just....they just have a fun, soft energy.

i would say anything with wen ning, but i think you’re doing him a disservice if you don’t address his issues with resentment, not to mention all the tragedy he’s suffered, so i think any romance narrative would end up at least a little sad and/or complicated, even if just implicitly.

i once saw qin sun/yanli and boy that’s a pretty pure ship! but then again, i think they probably fuck, so does that disqualify them? it’s all loving fucking! and tbh the juniors almost certainly mess around, but it’s a bit weird for me to think of it ^^;;

23. Unpopular character you love?

HMMMM. that’s a tough one. like you i have to put yu ziyuan on this list, bc even though i can’t argue she isn’t emotionally abusive....i like her. she’s pretty and badass and wonderfully snooty and she has a whip...i find her amazing and attractive what can i say i’m bisexual. i just like imagining her whipping jin guangshan into paste and carrying his wife off into the sunset in her arms! i make no apologies for this!

oh here’s a good one; wen zhuliu. i mean i don’t know if people really hate him in this fandom, but he’s certainly firmly A Bad Guy. but like, he’s interesting though! he basically has wwx’s backstory (on the streets until a sect leader took him in, earning his undying loyalty) only a bit sadder, thanks to the active hatred and ostracism of his local community. but like, with lwj’s disposition. he’s so loyal and so composed all the time, but he does these terrible terrible things....and like, you can’t help but see the parallels, right? wwx, out of love and loyalty for his rescuers, did something extreme (gave up his core) and developed a skill which horrified his peers and caused him to be ostracized. not to mention....he has likely killed more people than wen zhuliu, even not counting wens. i’m not saying i love him, but i am saying he’s interesting, and i’d love to see more fic about him.

also, not to make you all go feral, but i find su she interesting too. i just like the idea of exploring the friendship between jgy and su she, who in the show you can see really cared about each other. su she was was also SO loyal and just, he was shitty and cowardly and whatever, but he actually was a pretty powerful cultivator in the end, and not everything he said about the cultivation world was invalid. mostly i like the idea of two people who were bitter about being overlooked giving each other that positive regard they craved so dearly and becoming friends about it.

#good choices! i really had to think about these haha!#i don't think i got very salty but tbh that's probably on brand #mdzs #ask meme #captain-apostrophe

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Do you shipp bats and superman? Or bruce and selina or you don't ship bruce with anyone?

Tbh, I don’t have strong preferences on the matter of Bruce’s ships. Its not a matter of disliking them usually, so much as just not being super hardcore one way or another lol.

I would say probably my go-to is Bruce/Selina, just because I love Selina and there’s that opposites attract element to them that can be hard to make work, but when it works, ugh, it just WORKS, y’know?

I do ship Bruce and Clark for similar reasons, though this is actually more of a recent thing, honestly.....back before I first left DC fandom the first time around, probably around 2012-2013, I definitely would not have called myself a Superbat shipper at all, but that didn’t really have anything to do with not seeing their potential or not liking the characters together. It was more just a byproduct of like.....back then, I didn’t really like how Bruce and Clark tended to be written together?

Like, a lot of that was probably due to the tendency there sometimes is with slash ships to not really write just two male characters from some show or comic and put them in a relationship together, but rather to just kinda take two characters and write them in such a way that they feel like this kinda generic cookie cutter relationship that has more to do with going down a checklist of characteristics/specific moments/themes/etc than it does with who those characters are and what they’re like normally.

But for whatever reason, since I started getting back into DC fandom stuff last year, I’ve found a lot more Superbat fics that are a lot more to my liking, or that just FEEL more like Bruce and Clark in a relationship rather than coming across as two characters who have little in common with them and just happen to share the same names. I honestly have no idea what’s changed in the time since I was last in fandom til rejoining it, at least in regards to this specific ship and how its written, or just as equally likely, something changed about my perspective between then and now that made me read it differently or be more open to it than I was in the past. *Shrugs* Who knows. So again, its like Bruce/Selina, I’m not opposed to it at all, have enjoyed several, but I just don’t tend to ship Bruce the same way or to the degree I have ships I’m more invested in, for most of his kids.

My one big caveat with Bruce and Clark is that like, its GOT to be respectful of Lois, she still should have a presence in Clark’s life and not have been just...erased or overlooked or killed off or just sacrificed on the altar of Superbat to make room for them to get together, y’know? Like I don’t have a particular preference here, like, they could have previously discovered they just prefer being platonic soulmates and just have a super strong friendship that’s not threatened or replaced or lessened by what Clark comes to have with Bruce later, they could have previously been married and are amicably divorced now for whatever reason and still successfully co-parent Jon now, who splits his time between living with his Dad and Bruce and step-siblings at Wayne Manor, and then the rest of his time with his mom and her new girlfriend or wife Diana, perhaps...whatever. Not picky on the particulars, I just need Lois to still be important to Clark rather than treated as though an obstacle in the way of Superbat’s true love.

As far as other ships go......I never got on board with Bruce/Diana even though they do at times have great chemistry.....I’ve just never seen that really successfully resulting in an actual relationship....unless Clark is involved as kinda a...not buffer, exactly, so much as a third complemetary piece needed to complete the picture. Same thing with Clark and Diana too, though, their brief New 52 relationship not working for me for the same reasons. The full Trinity together in every sense of the word? I can dig it. Just two of them though....Clark and Bruce is the only pairing out of the three of them that actually fits on its own, IMO, because something about Clark and Diana has always just felt a little too....forced, or artificial to me for some reason, like.....people always try too hard to emphasize how good a pairing they make on paper, that it just never FEELS natural or organic in execution, and I’ve never really felt any interest in trying to execute a version of it myself to have any idea how my own attempt would fare. *Shrugs*

And then Bruce and Diana on their own, like.....I think Diana respects the hell out of Bruce and will always have a soft spot for him, but her bullshit tolerance does come with a ceiling, and I think for Diana, Bruce is one of those people where she does better with him in small doses, lol. Too much exposure to Bruce, too constantly, and for too longterm.....I think she would end up being like “this relationship is starting to feel too much like a Greek tragedy, and not even one of the good ones, I gotta go, bye” lololol okay so it wouldn’t really be like that. I just mean.....Bruce thrives off of structure and rigid discipline in a way that Diana would find stifling, I believe?

Don’t get me wrong, Diana is incredibly disciplined herself and capable of holding herself firm and steady in anything with a kind of discipline few others could ever dream of, but its not her PREFERENCE, I don’t think. She’d rather default to a freer approach to and through life, whereas Bruce can do that at times to accommodate loved ones needing or wanting that from him too, but at the end of the day, I think he’s always going to rather scheduling in some time set aside for the both of them, as something to look forward to....rather than just letting it come when it comes and then when it does, obsessing over whether he’s neglecting something else as a result.

So again...Bruce and Clark I think work, but Bruce and Diana or Clark and Diana - require all three working in harmony to be what all three of them actually need and want from that triad.

And then Bruce and Talia I’ve talked about a couple times before in depth, and I have hugely complicated thoughts on them due to the sheer bullshit writers have subjected Talia to over the years. I try to ignore Morrison’s take on Damian’s conception as much as possible, like, I never go with that angle or that particular taint on their relationship unless for whatever reason its absolutely relevant to the plot - and I’ve never come up with a plot where it is, nor do I think I’m likely to. And this is for a couple of reasons - the first is that while I’m always saying that any writer could make a case for any character doing anything, conceivably, Damian’s conception as written by Morrison just...destroys so much of the amazingly complex and multi-faceted character Talia often was before he wrote that, and recasts every aspect of her and Bruce’s previous love story as just...a painful, not funny joke. Its not remotely something I ever want to read into those two, even if I’ve never shipped them as endgame myself.

But at the same time, because it did so unequivocally happen in canon, I can never really blame others for accepting it as the reality of their relationship by this point, for whatever reason.....I mean, there’s the simple fact that something like that is so hugely personal to read about and see yourself in as a survivor, for instance, for any survivors who read Morrison’s story and afterward had trouble separating that view of Talia from previous stories of her....like to me, no matter how much I think Morrison is bullshit for writing that story, especially since its hardly like he had any interest in writing or acknowledging Bruce as a survivor in its aftermath.....I fully believe Morrison was like “how can I make Bruce a biological father who owes nothing to the mother and has no obligation to share the child with her or fight over custody or anything like that.”

Which is a shitty reason to do that particular kind of story. And why I don’t blame anyone for disregarding it, as I try to whenever possible, but neither do I blame anyone for finding their relationship kinda ruined in the wake of it, just because sometimes its physically/emotionally just hard to see PAST that kind of thing, even when you know the reasons for it existing at all are threadbare in the first place.

(Its like how I do write and focus on Bruce’s abusive behavior with some of his kids in the past, not because I necessarily LIKE to, so much as it just being such a personal topic to me that from the second it was written into his character and dynamics, whether written WELL or PLAUSIBLY or not, it just became impossible for me to pretend it just never happened or I never read any of those stories, so I have to find some way to tackle it in my stories and takes. But because I do think that the reasons for writing Bruce act that way in the first place were always poorly thought through, and it is a disservice to a lot of the reasons others love the character, I don’t blame them for disliking it and disregarding it themselves, so long as they don’t shit on me or my reasons for not doing the same).

So yeah, I don’t tend to write that particular element into Bruce and Talia’s story ever, for all those above reasons and also one other specific one: it doesn’t just make Talia a rapist and Bruce a survivor, it makes Damian the child of rape. And he’s just had so much shit to deal with in his life with everything else alone, I never am comfortable heaping that onto him as well, because sooner or later it WOULD eventually become something he had to deal with, and no easy thing to deal with, so I’m just like....what if he didn’t have that particular issue to deal with ever.

NOW, all that said....Bruce and Talia still even without that have never really been an endgame ship for me, but rather something that’s kinda always been doomed to be a tragic romance, like they’re each other’s one that forever got away. And that’s because for me, unlike Bruce and Selina being opposite in just the right ways, Bruce and Talia are alike in the wrong ways. Its part of WHY they have the connection they do, and such a deep one....they GET each other, in ways I don’t think anyone else has ever truly understood them. They might not subscribe to the same beliefs, even have the same morals, they might not be willing to use the same methods, their ultimate goals aren’t necessarily the same....but their PASSION for their goals, their beliefs, their commitment to doing whatever each believes they have to do in order to see their goals fulfilled, to see that they never stray from what they believe is their duty, their reasons for existing....THAT is something I think they’ve both always understood about each other, that they have in common. Both believe too strongly in what THEY believe and value as most important, to be truly willing to give that up and follow the other to their goal or along their path instead.....and they get that, so they never truly ask that of each other, or at least aren’t surprised nor hold it against the other when they turn them down. I think they do love each other, and on some level always will.....and it might not even be that they don’t WANT to give everything else up to be with them.....its just, I don’t think either truly knows how to do that and still be them, like they know that even were they to make that choice, it would cost them too much of what makes them THEM, to ever truly do it.

And aside from that, even in an AU setting where Talia didn’t raise Damian in the League, where he wasn’t forced to grow up fighting the way he did, and say she spirited him away and into hiding at birth to hide him from Ra’s, but still never sought Bruce out til Damian was ten or so, even if only because Bruce is too easy for Ra’s to find or keep an eye on....basically, I just mean even in an AU where Talia was a great mom to Damian from Day One til the day Bruce met Damian, and she only kept him from Bruce for ten years or whatever for Damian’s safety....I think that would still destroy any chance of Bruce and Talia ever being together after that, just because in that kind of scenario, Bruce might absolutely understand why she did what she did, even agree with it....and still not be able to get PAST it, not to the degree of....trusting her with his heart again, even if they were perfectly able to coexist well for Damian’s sake. Bruce missed out on the first parts of all his other childrens’ lives because they were someone else’s first. The fact that Damian is the one and only kid of his that theoretically, there was nothing keeping Bruce from being a part of that from day one....like this is the one and only way I will ever accept Bruce having a distinct view of Damian as being different from his other kids in his eyes....its not about him being Bruce’s biological son, its about him being Bruce’s son that he never had to be second to come into his life, that there was nothing stopping him from being there from the start....the fact that Talia, for any reason, did keep him from that, even were it with the best intentions, IMO....that would be something that might not even be Bruce’s to ‘forgive’ per se, like that’s not even the right word to describe certain scenarios that might result in that.....but it would still just irrevocably change something between them I don’t think they could ever get back.

So except for AUs where Talia brought Damian to Bruce right after he was born and stayed with him to raise Damian together, I don’t see them ever working out longterm.....and I don’t really see Talia ever giving up her own beliefs as to how to live her life, shape the world, wield her influence....just to live in Bristol with Bruce and raise Damian with him, even as there is nothing really in that case keeping Bruce from still at the same time continuing to be Batman and do all of that the way HE prioritizes. But again, by the same token.....I also don’t see the inverse ever happening, where Talia finds a way to go where she needs to and do what she believes needs doing, with Damian in tow....and Bruce willing to give up being Batman to just come along for the ride and to help raise Damian. So yeah, ultimately, for me those two are the ultimate tragic romance of Bruce’s core ships, where love has nothing to do with whether or not they work out....just rather who and what they are getting in the way of what they are too each other.

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kokichi-and-co-imagine-blog · 4 years

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To everyone: what would your Pokemon teams be and why?

Oh good god.

Well… this is going to get complicated. At least from me.

Let’s start with assuming no legendary Pokemon. Makes life a bit easier. Of course only a bit.

So… first off a lot of this depends on generation and limit. If you’re asking for a full team that I would have with rotations and stuff, we’re looking at… probably close to 10 full teams of 6, maybe even more.

In my defense, I’m a major Pokemon fan and I really really like a lot of them.

Of course, if we’re going to cut down the team to a more manageable six which can be from any region/gen, but only one from each region/gen to keep things interesting and varied… well, it would depend on a lot of things, including mood and such, so if one were to ask me this question again it would likely change. But, here would be, as I feel right now, the team I would use if I was limited to only six, one per region/gen.

1: Lucario. I’ve been a fan of this guy for so so long, ever since it was first introduced. I loved Lucario and the mystery of Mew as a kid (still kinda do). The whole concept behind aura is amazing. One’s spiritual energy/life force/ soul being utilized in combat? Being able to sense others and see without seeing? So awesome. Lucario is just SO. FREAKING. COOL. It’s design is wonderful as well. Jackel/Anubis? Yes please. Plus, I’ve been maining Lucario in Smash Bros. ever since Brawl. You better believe it’s making my team.

2: Tyranitar. Is it probably the weakest pseudo legendary when it comes to typing? Yes. Do I care? No. Tyranitar is BA. First, it’s one of the only two pseudo’s to not be a dragon. Yes, 8 regions, 9 pseudo’s, and only 2 are not dragons. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some dragons. But… variety would be nice, you know? But yeah, not a dragon, still awesome. It’s Godzilla for crying out loud! Plus, its design is just so good. It’s simple but perfect. It’s a giant Lizard creature that could fell mountains. It doesn’t need to be complicated, and is perfectly awe-inspiring and terrifying without being complicated. I also used a Tyranitar in my Ultra Sun playthrough, a male one named Typhon, Man was he fun to use.

3: Golisopod. Listen, if a Pokemon is good enough for YOUR BOI GUZMA to use it on his team, you know it’s a good pokemon. It’s the Alola take on Gyarados and Milotic (weak pathetic first stage with few moves and while those two do have a slightly higher BST, that ain’t enough to keep my boy Golisopod down. Golisopod’s design is just so good. An Isopod mixed with a Samurai? Sign me right up thank you. It mixes the creepy crawly aesthetic of the bug type with the strong proud samurai perfectly and I love it. And yeah, sure Emergency Exit can be kind of annoying, but it allows you a second usage of First Impression. That is worth it. Also, it’s shiny is dope.

4: Toxtricity. Part of building a team means keeping in mind type composition. I love Grimmsnarl dearly and equally, if not more so, but I already have one Dark-type on the team, so Toxtricity manages to bag this spot. At least, for now considering my current mood. Ask me again tomorrow, or even in an hour, my answer may very well change. Anyway, Toxtricity itself. When I fist saw the design, I wasn’t entirely sure how I felt. It was… interesting to say the least, but I couldn’t figure out what I was looking at, or what it was supposed to be. But after some more time with it, learning more about it and using one I can say that Toxtricity is easily one of my new favorites. Quite possibly my absolute fave from Gen 8. A punk lizard that plays music? Rock/Metal? HECK. YES. The form change is also pretty nice. The stats don’t change between the two, but I honestly like it that way. Just the idea that more energetic natures would have an ‘Amped Up’ form based on an electric guitar while the more mellow natures would have a ‘Lowkey’ one based on a bass is ingenious. Same with the movepool changes. It makes sense that the different forms with their different music preference would have different moves. (My personal fave is the Amped Up, especially with its shiny colors.) Plus, an electric posion type? SO. COOL. Who cares about 4x weak to earthquake, this thing is boss! And Punk Rock is an amazing ability.

5: Flygon. Man oh man was Flygon treated poorly. Added in Gen 3 as a solid pokemon, but with a better attack stat than a special attack one. True, not bad in it of itself but before the Special/Physical split, ALL Dragon-type moves were special. Meaning Dragon Claw, a solid dragon type move back in Gen 3, wasn’t yet a physical move. And Outrage wasn’t even something Flygon could learn yet (it wouldn’t be until Gen 7 that it became a TM). Then came gen 4. Now, I love gen 4. I truly do. It is by far my favorite Gen. And it did do something very good for Flygon. It gave the special/physical split, allowing some Dragon type moves to now be physical as well. But you know what else came along? Garchomp. Honestly, I like Garchomp, I do. But suddenly here we are with a new Dragon/Ground type that is a pseudo-legendary? My poor poor Flygon. And it didn’t get any better. I mean seriously, give Mewtwo and Charizard two megas but none to Flygon? WHILE GIVING ONE TO GARCHOMP WHO DIDN’T NEED IT AND WAS ITS BIGGEST COMPETITION?! Why Game Freak? Why?Anyway, mini-rant aside, I love Flygon. The design is incredible. The line is based on an antlion and is so cool. That sweet green design and the little lenses over the eyes? Perfect, just perfect. Plus, it has some sweet lore. Appearing in sandstorms with haunting music coming from its wings? Yes please. Beautiful pokemon that was done such disservices. It’s a shame really. With Megas gone, Flygon will likely never get that final boost it needs. Though considering it is in Galar while Garchomp isn’t… maybe Flygon will have a chance to shine again. (A shame though that it will never get to have a type change to Bug Dragon. Would be sick.) Regardless of the future though, Flygon will always have a place in my heart, and in my team.

6: Zoroark. Yeah, I know what I said about team composition above with Toxtricity and Grimmsnarl. But I also pointed out mood has a lot to do with it. Anyway, for Zoroark itself. Like Lucario, I’veb een a fan for so long, ever since it was first introduced. It’s kinda funny in a way. Zoroark acts as the perfect yin to Lucario’s yang. Lucario uses aura to sense things and to see, Zoroark is the maser of illusions. In it of itself, this illusion business is awesome, but add in how it counters Lucario and it works just so well. Typing as well, Lucario is a fighting steel, the type you’d think of for a chivalrous paladin of justice and truth, while Zoroark is dark (evil type in Japan), perfect for a sly illusion master. Of course, it’s not just dualism with Lucario. The line is just so amazing itself. Clearly drawing from Kitsune, Zoroark is a sly fox that is able to not just use illusions, but masters them to the point of being able to create solid constructs out of them (see the anime). It is just so cool, how can I not love it? Also, like Tyranitar before it, I used a female one named Vixen in my Ultra Sun playthrough and it was a delight.

Anyway, that would be my team. You know, assuming all the limitations I put on myself and my mood at this moment. But if you guys enjoyed this and want to know more about my favorite pokemon, please let me know. I’m always happy and excited to talk about Pokemon.

Anyway, going to hand this over to the other mods. I’ve been monopolizing this ask for too long.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ooo!! This’ll be fun to answer! Cause, well, I love Pokémon!!!

But, forgive me for this; I haven’t played any of the games.

So im just saying my favorite characters!!!

1: Glacieon, I really, really like glacieons and have always loved ice type Pokémon. Mainly because I really like the cold. Like; really, really, like the cold. I also really like her attacks, their cool!!! (Pun intended)

2: Furret. Absolutely furret, I never knew why I liked furret, but. I’m just gonna blame it on me really liking Ferrets and cause I honestly have really liked normal types for some reason.

3: Vulpix (either one), I really like any fire type Pokémon mainly because I’ve always just had a very weird interest in fire and because vulpix can be either a fire or ice Pokémon I love that about them. And they remind me of a bunch of irl animals that I love!!

4: Smom , I LOVE THOSE LIL ICE BABEYS SO MUCH!?!? They are so cute-!? I JUST LOVE THEM SO MUCH???! They are all my children and I want to adopt them all, and I will. No one can stop me………except maybe the other mods-

5: Sylveon, absolutely. I always have such an attachment even with digital animals, so I absolutely would give my eevee enough attention and love for them to evolve into sylveon. Honestly, it’d end up be accidental, but, I still really love Sylveon, and wouldn’t care if I got more than one of them-

6: Flareon, listen- I just love eevees okay-? I love them all so so much, and would lay down my life for each and every one of them. Just 💞💞💕💖💓💖💝💞💖💕💝💓💕💞💖💞💖💝💘💖💕💕💞

——————————————————————————

Ah, I bet you missed hearing from me! No worries, I’ll tell you my pokemon team, even if it’s not particularly exciting.

First off, a Pachirisu is a must for my team. I’ve always loved how hyper it can be and the mishaps it would cause. Plus, c’mon- who doesn’t like its color scheme?

I’d also incorporate Chimchar to my team. I’ve always had a soft spot for Chimchar, since it was my first ever starter and I leveled mine all the way up to 100 in my Pokemon Platinum playthrough.

Yamper definitely had my heart the moment I saw it! I have a really strong love for dogs, and its addition to the game got me so excited!! Kirigiri can vouch for me on that one.

Growlithe is also integral to me. When my dog was a puppy, I used to jokingly call her a growlithe. I don’t think I still have pictures, but I even got her a floof for halloween once so she could be in a costume with me. Also... Arcanine is seriously badass.

Wooloo is super cute too! I love that it rolls away from its problems, and I, too, wish to do that. Plus the braids immediately reminded me of Peko, so I was super soft for it the moment it was revealed.

Finally, I’ll add my favorite Eeveelution to the team: Glaceon! Something about its sleek design always made me happy, and the way its fur sharpens as defense is super interesting!

(If legendaries were allowed on the team, I would’ve added either Giratina or Shaymin. They’re my favorites.

#Mod Makoto #Mod Ibuki #Mod Kokichi #Mod ask #Pokemon #Pokemon Preferences #Pokemon team #UwU #Thanks for the ask!#Ask

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notesofarichlycolorednight · 5 years

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OBC Hadestown Recording Review by a Non-Professional that you didn’t ask for

Alt. click-bait title: THEMES! THEMES! THEMES!

so i just listened to the Hadestown OBCR

so as practice, i’m going to do this review (i have a lot to say if you hadn’t noticed) like a sandwich--positives, mixed, neutral, negatives, more positives

and yes, I compare it to the NY version. it would be Impossible for me not to, considering that’s all I had for years. but I did listen to it with an open mind and wide-eyed excitement

YAS QUEEN

Amber Grey and Patrick Page, lovely as always

I’m glad they introduced Hades in “Road To Hell” also that Hermes is like...is there another god? oh yeah, ME!

Eva Noblezada was AMAZING and I love her Eurydice

Reeve Carney sounds like an wide-eyed, naive, optimistic musician and it’s Wonderful

the overall themes and a more cohesive story--like there were of course themes threaded thru the NY recording, but the themes were much stronger in this version

Hermes being Orpheus’s mentor, rather than just the narrator and occasionally interacting with Orpheus bc he can? the exchange between them reads less like “I’m kind of picking on your bc you’re an artist” and more like “yikes, bro, you messed up. and bc I’m your mentor, and the god of Travelers, I’mma help you out a little”

oh yes, LOVE LOVE LOVE “Wedding Song” and oh, I LOVED that he sang his song in this version (hope to see what happens on stage some day ;_;)

the OBC version of “Livin’ it Up on Top” is still fun as always and I love they included the joke “to hell and back”

Orpheus’s lyrics in “All I’ve Ever Known” are So. Soft. our soft, poor boy Orpheus

Reeve and Eva’s voices fit together really well and I’m cry

“A Gathering Storm” is just Gorgeous storytelling right there, mmhmm. And oh shit, the “It’s not supposed to be like this” damn. And Eurydice’s “bring the world back into tune” Love it.

oh dude, the doubt in “Epic II” mirroring Orpheus’s later doubt poetictheater.jpeg

the lead in from “Epic II” to “Chant” always Great. And oh man, loved more of the storytelling and Eurydice’s lyrics in “Chant” okay but the juxtaposition of Hermes telling Orpheus telling him to look up while the Chorus chants to keep your head low oh jeez. And Eva sounds Great in “Chant” like DAMN

shaken, not stirred

Andre De Shields, sorry bro.

intellectual: I think his performance was great and the way he portrays Hermes fits really well with the style and aesthetic of Hadestown.

emotional: unfortunately, I don’t like his voice. and yes, I’m definitely biased for NY Hermes, but this is like a personal preference type thing. his voice is like the opposite of a stim for me... :\ which is unfortunate, because I did enjoy his performance

“Road To Hell” is before “Any Way The Wind Blows”

intellectual: it definitely fits this version, and I really liked hearing more about Eurydice and understanding her struggles and why falling in love with Orpheus is such a big thing for her

emotional: but I kinda liked the order in the NY version. it kinda felt like a preface to the story itself, and like even tho Hermes is the narrator, beginning with a song the Fates sing, it shows who’s truly in charge (they DO in fact control the speed at which lobsters die)

tho if I’m being honest, “Livin’ it Up on Top” doesn’t quite have that kick the NY version has. idk if instruments or missing or there isn’t enough ppl singing, but there’s just something missing, which takes a little of the fun out of it

It again feels like something is missing from “Way Down Hadestown” :\

intellectual: I guess I understand why they gave Orpheus’s lyrics to the Fates and Hermes (bc like how would he know what it’s like down there, truly?)

emotional: but I also didn’t like it bc as I’ll talk abt a lot in a min, it really takes away from Reeve’s performance

I’m actually super disappointed that Reeve/Orephus wasn’t featured as much as in the NY recording. his voice is almost completely drowned out almost entirely through “Wait For Me.”

intellectual: I quite enjoyed that the rest of the cast acted as the stones echoing back his song, and that it fit with and strengthened the overall themes and plot of the musical. I’m glad that this version has a more cohesive story and stronger themes

emotional: but it was no longer about Orpheus and his journey, and I think they could’ve kept the themes while also featuring Reeve’s voice. esp in such an Iconic song for Orpheus like “Wait For Me”

“If It’s True” I was tempted to put this in the negatives section bc I feel like it really takes away from Orpheus’s story (get ready to here a lot of repetition sorry not sorry fam). but there are some things I liked abt it.

intellectual: I liked that in the OBC version, that it was more abt the theme they’d introduced abt the workers’/chorus’s struggle and Hades’s struggle to keep them nameless, so to speak. I also did like that they show Orpheus’s worldview change. and fucking finally gave Reeve a chance to shine (kinda, with interjections from Hermes and the Chorus)

emotional: but I do think they went abt it the wrong way, bc I liked that it addressed just Orpheus and his feelings of what’s gone on (specifically Eurydice belonging to Hades) in the NY version, and I didn’t like that in the OBC version that it Was more abt the themes. I also felt like it got a little preachy. Like that’s not what I thought the original “If It’s True” was abt yo. I get it fits with the overall theme and message they want to get across, but I don’t think their execution was that Great :\ I also really liked that in the NY version, him just being sad is what moved both Persephone and the Chorus

“Wait For Me (Reprise)” is the same as with “Wait For Me”

intellectual: I’m not saying that the new, stronger themes are bad or anything--like I’ve said, I Loved that they strengthened the themes and made the musical more cohesive overall.

emotional:

(+): Okay but also I really Love Eurydice singing what Orpheus sang in “Wait For me”

(-): Reeve’s voice is often drowned out and it’s no longer about his and Eurydice’s story as much (it’s in the very first song! “brother, thus, begins the tale of ORPHEUS AND EURYDICE”). I really do think they could have gone about it in a way that highlights Reeve as Orpheus AND keeps with the theme and the message they wanted to get across by including the Chorus. I mean look! Look! Reeve stands off to the side or isn’t singing for like ALMOST THE WHOLE SONG DUDE. he gets 36 measly seconds singing in this song, I timed it. it’s a 3 mins and 12 second song. and most of those seconds are spent singing the song with the chorus (I do not, however, really count the times Hermes is speaking bc those lines are Great and when Eurydice is singing at the end, but Still!). like I said, I’m so glad they have Eurydice singing his song back to him, but I Really Do Think they could have composed it so it was still Orpheus’s song (with Hermes, and Eurydice at the end, keep that of course!), but held those stronger themes.

“Doubt Comes In” ...like at this point, are you even surprised?

intellectual: strong themes. great. okay.

emotional:

(+): I Loved Eurydice’s part in this, encouraging Orpheus even tho he can’t hear her. I also did love that they added in Orpheus’s thoughts--pique drama, I LOVED it

(-): third verse, same as the first (and second): Reeve just wasn’t featured as much as I would have liked him to be! the Fates get the lines Orpheus used to sing! when Orpheus sang, “where are you? where are you now?” the first time more steady and sing-song-y, the second time more desperate (but still beautiful holy shit Damon Daunno was Amazing) as he starts to go out of his mind,,, i felt that and i’m incredibly disappointed (and angry lbr) that they took those lines away from Orpheus.

not really a point, but this needs its own bullet point: it just does Reeve a huge disservice, bc he’s a Great Orpheus. I Loved his Orpheus, but the fact that he’s taken out of so much of the story he’s the protagonist in detracts severely from his performance, and it’s a damn shame

I did really liked that they made the “la la la” more complicated in “Epic III” and when Persephone and Hades danced, and how it was softer, but I also liked how powerful the “la la la” crescendo as Hermes, Persephone (I believe) and the Chorus joined in along with the instruments was in the NY version so,,, ¯\_( : \ )_/¯

I don’t think they changed any of the lyrics for “Road To Hell (Reprise)” (they added stuff, sure) but it sounded and felt different, and I’m upset that it wasn’t the same as the NY. it’s in this section tho, bc it was still good (think I like the NY version just slightly better, but I do like the OBC version too, but for different reasons)

neutral(ish)

the change of characters who says/sings lines isn’t my fave, but it’s not bad either and, based on the theme and more cohesive storyline, it makes sense

I’m trying to decide if Patrick Page’s descent from a higher vocal range into a lower one is a stylistic choice, but I don’t feel one particular way about it or another (except for the fact that it didn’t sound like him I questioned if it was at first)...tho the bass drops for “Hey Little Songbird” so maybe it was a stylistic choice and if so, Brilliant! (but it will stay in this spot since I can’t tell if that was intentional)

I’m a little surprised they didn’t give Eurydice her spot light in “Why We Build the Wall” but it’s not like it changes the story much. I think I just liked that she stood out, and with those lyrics, bc it’s dramatic irony--we know her mistake but she doesn’t yet realize that it is a mistake she’s made

“Word to the Wise” it was good. not great. I liked NY version better, but I think I mildly like NY Fates better bc they sang in a very harsh and solid way. like in some parts the OBC Fates do too, but not in the songs where it matters (to me)

the changes made to the Epics. I liked the more story-telling aspect of them, but I also didn’t quite love the changes. but the songs themselves were still p great, so (it’s here, rather in the mixed section) bc I don’t particularly feel as strong one way or another abt the NY Epics compared to the OBC Epics

Once again, I feel like smth is missing from “Word to the Wise” :\ like some kind of instrument to really push it into extraordinary, to hold it up. But the Fates were a little better at being brutal so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i guess

hard no, babe

that being said, regarding first point in the neutral section, I didn’t like that they took away (even) more of Orpheus’s lines because it then removes (even) more of his voice, when he’s HALF THE FEATURE OF THE STORY. I know it’s really about two love stories (and like I said before, it does strengthen the themes and overall storyline), but the main focus was Orpheus and Eurydice !!!

the sound of the train whistle. mmm, I’ll pass. it’s so dinky. bring back the NY train!

The way Reeve says/sings some of his lines (not all of ‘em tho) could use some work? doesn’t sound great. didn’t love it. idk if it was a stylistic choice on the director’s part or Reeve’s own choices in how he wanted to play Orpheus, but I didn’t agree with them. I think he uses his falsetto a little too much for some lines. And let me tell you, was very afraid they were going to do that three-voice thing (like in the concept album) when Orpheus meets Eurydice. glad they didn’t, but I also didn’t really think they needed it at all

I’m actually uber disappointed they took out the old radio sound for Hermes in “Wait For Me.” I just really liked it man.

ngl, I. was. Heartbroken. when they’d changed the lyrics to Epic III (which is why it’s in this section :\). Esp like I CANNOT BELIEVE THEY CHANGED “where is the man, WITH HIS HAT IN HIS HANDS, who stands in the garden, with nothing to lose” (emphasis mine). like, again, i understand the changes were made to keep with the themes introduced, BUT can you Imagine. holding the whole world in your arms (when Hades gets the girl) compared to holding something so small and insignificant (BEFORE Hades gets the girl). COME ON! it’s like the perfect juxtaposition AND I thought it made Hades much more human AND it still keeps with the themes. (tho I am glad they kept that part at all bc when I realized how much of “Epic III” they changed, I was worried they’d taken that part out too. it’s in this section tho bc the changes are unforgivable overall)

Come Home With Me I and II (Reprise) !!! I’m extremely sad they changed the lyrics so much. Admittedly, I do like the first “Come Home With Me” introducing his song that will bring spring back. But the changes are too unforgivable for me to put it in the mixed section. I really liked Orpheus’s proposal in “Come Home With Me II” in the NY version and that repetition of “say I do, I came all the way just to ask you to” and then the Fates step in and are like, “Mmm, sorry boo, she belongs to Hades now” and the song ending with Eurydice saying “I do” but with a totally different meaning. like okay, the OBC version fits more with the theme, and I’m glad they still kinda included it in “Papers” (I do actually like the way it’s composed in “Papers” if I’m being honest, the “I did. I do.” just,,, hits me) but it’s too unforgivable to put in the mixed section. OH GOD and. esp,,, okay Listen. HOW could they take out “are you always this confident?” // “when I look at you I am” and then later hearing Hades sing, “Orpheus the undersigned SHALL NOT LOOK BEHIND // SHE’S OUT OF SIGHT and he’s out of his mind” LIKE COME ON MAN that was Perfect AND YOU TOOK IT OUT ???

the Fates in their “Way Down Hadestown (Reprise)” I Loved the NY bc they Tore into Eurydice (I love my girl, but that song is a Bop and they are Ruthless). the way they sang, it was harsh and cutting. in the OBCR...not so much. It’s too sing-songy and embellished (is the best way I can explain it), and I was disappointed bc it was one of my fave songs in the NY version. not to mention, I Did Not Like Eurydice’s lyric changes. and I know that it strengthens the themes, and I did actually like that they showed Eurydice losing herself as she worked (esp bc it adds more to “Flowers” and again strengthens the thread linking the songs), but I disliked it as a whole enough that it can’t be saved to be moved into the mixed section

OH NO I. CANNOT. BELIEVE. THEY CHANGED “YOU’RE EARLY” // “I MISSED YOU” TO “IT’S YOU” // “IT’S ME” // “ORPHEUS” // “EURYDICE” FUCK YOUR THEMES but for real, I think keeping “you’re early” // “I missed you” would’ve have kept with the theme way more than what they changed it to bc 1) they’re referencing smth the two litchrally just said to each other. and 2) THAT’S WHAT PERSEPHONE AND HADES SAID TO EACH OTHER WHEN HE CAME TO GET HER FROM HADESTOWN AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SHOW. it’s a theme that’s introduced in the beginning of the musical--“it’s a tale from long ago”--bc Persephone and Hades’s relationship was SUPPOSED to mirror Orpheus and Eurydice right? there’s the fact that Orpheus’s song is what Hades heard long ago like ??? a HUGE Point of Orpheus and Eurydice’s love story was to remind Persephone and Hades about the love they shared when they first met (“wait for me?” // “I will”). and gosh darn it, it still would’ve fit the themes if they had stuck with “you’re early” // “I missed you” bc of that!

SPEAKING OF I CAN’T BELIEVE THEY TOOK OUT PERSEPHONE’S LYRICS IN “CHANT (REPRISE)” LIKE WHAT like it worked so well !!! (esp bc I’ve read reviews of the show, with Hades and Persephone circling Orpheus and Eurydice as they’re dueling and switching the direction they walk when the chorus makes that “kch” noise like poetictheater.jpeg) it was such a good juxtaposition between what Hades thinks Persephone wants and what Persephone actually wants (I do like that “Chant (Reprise)” is more complicated composition-wise, but not enough to move it into the mixed section). ALSO “He said we’d build ‘em up // And then the walls would set us free” // “Is it true, what he said?” // “He said we’d soldier on // And then the war would bring us peace.” I thought that got across the message quite well in the NY version, esp since they were echoing Orpheus’s “if it’s true.” they’re also just Great lines and I Cannot Believe they took them out

YAS QUEEN

I’m a HOE for singing in the round, and the beauty of Orpheus’s “la la la la” joined in by the chorus in “Wait For Me” got me like. OKAY AND THE LYRIC ADDITIONS I LITERALLY CANNOT IT’S SO BEAUTIFUL AND POETIC AND GOOD WHEN ORPHEUS SANG “I HEAR THE ROCKS AND STONE, ECHOING MY SONG, I’M COMING”

I mean,,, how can you Not like “Our Lady of the Underground.” I also really enjoyed the more jazzy feel. Like it was already jazzy, but it’s even more jazzy in this version, to me

if you couldn’t tell, I loved Reeve and his Orpheus

“Papers” is Great and idk why but I Love “everything and everyone in Hadestown, I own.”

oh shit dude, Orpheus’s song being something from long ago that he like picked up on bc Greek mythology be like that and then HADES RECOGNIZING THE SONG. THAT. WAS. BRILLIANT.

“Flowers” felt like it fit much better in this version, with the themes being stronger and all that. also could actually hear it clearly, so that could be why bc I’m pretty sure they didn’t change a single lyric lol. still Loved it

the lyric additions to “Wait For Me” I’M SCREAM SO GOOD (even tho I’ve mentioned this before lmao)

“How Long” was. so. good. I just really enjoyed the exchange between Persephone and Hades in this song

DUDE I JUST REALIZED “NOW I SING A DIFFERENT SONG” FROM THE ONE ORPHEUS REMINDS HADES OF BRILLIANT

“Oh, it’s about me?” that made me laugh out loud. Oh god Also the repetition of lyrics in “All I’ve Ever Known” in “Epic III” to show that Orpheus and Eurydice’s love mirrors Persephone and Hades’s? poetictheater.jpeg

“Promises” omg. I actually liked this one better than NY “Promises” sorry not sorry. don’t get me wrong, Eurydice has every right to tell Orpheus off since he made all those promises he couldn’t keep in the NY “Promises” but in OBC “Promises” it feels more mutual. it feels softer. rather than Eurydice going, “you done messed up A-A-Ron” it’s more like Orpheus going, “I done fucked up and I’m sorry.” Orpheus is more self-aware and I liked that.

dudes, I’m extremely happy they added Eurydice back in for “We Raise Our Cups” it really rounds everything out. And it’s just a really good epilogue song. (I’m curious to see if Reeve is out on stage for this or if he stays backstage)

Final thoughts: the stronger themes were Great. don’t get me wrong. okay. I liked that about this version. but I feel like by trying to be too In With The Times(TM) they lost some of the heart of the story, which ultimately detracted from Reeve’s performance as Orpheus.

sometimes I really think a story can be just a story about two people (or two love stories), and the themes and messages will find their way in naturally. it doesn’t need to be this big thing about everyone all of a sudden. at the very least, bc it’s obvious the themes and messages are stronger in the OBC version, it does take some work and planning, but I felt like they were trying just a tad too hard and ended up being too heavy-handed.

I thought the themes and message they were originally trying to get across got across just find in the NY composition (specifically for “Wait For Me (Reprise)” bc the themes are definitely stronger throughout the overall musical in the OBCR composition)

now, I’m not saying don’t include messages in your art, that’s what art is for! But I think they could have either kept it about how it was in the NY version, because there were still messages (just a little more lucid and not as strong) OR they could have composed it some way that kept the stronger themes and messages AND kept the importance and presence of Orpheus’s role, and Orpheus and Eurydice’s story.

for me, Orpheus, esp OBC and Reeve’s Orpheus, doesn’t strike me as the guy to start a revolution and lead the Chorus thru hell. Like when the Fates say, “who are you to think that you can hold your head up higher than your fellow man?” I honestly get confused bc,,, he... doesn’t think that though? He just loves Eurydice and wants to save her from Hadestown. and maybe that’s actually the point? that Orpheus wasn’t ready for the pressure suddenly put on him to not just lead Eurydice out but also all of Hades’s workers, so doubt came in. but then what was with “If It’s True?” which, as I said, did start to sound pretty preachy? not to mention, the one time their themes and messages aren’t clear

anyway, long story long, the way I see Orpheus is his voice just does That. it doesn’t have to have some secret, overarching message for his songs to influence and move people. in the original “If It’s True” he sang about his loss and it was emotional enough to move Hades’s workers. to me Orpheus’s gift, his music, his voice is about emotion. and I think of Coco in that respect: “de la Cruz was a nobody, but when he sang, people listened” paired with, “I didn’t write it for the world, I wrote it for Coco” yet “Remember Me” (and all his songs) still resonated and moved people

so anyway, here’s my Hadestown hot take: Reeve wasn’t nominated for a Tony because the new composition underutilized him as Orpheus

no i don’t take criticism

#hadestown #obc hadestown #obcr hadestown #nytw hadestown #long post #i had so much to say #cheep cheep cheep #washingdad reviews

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mvndrvke-archive · 5 years

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ON NICO’S CANON DIVERGENCE....

so while writing up nico’s bio and about page, i realized how much i changed around in his life and personality from the books, etc. when it comes to little things that at least in my interpretation significantly shape nico as a person. SO this is basically a list of things that i’ve changed or brought more attention to. feel free to read it if you’d like, i’m going to link this on his about page for reference, but it’s also terrifyingly long so by no means feel obligated to read it. it’s split into five sections-- nico’s timeline, nico’s motivations, nico’s fears, nico’s powers, and the rules of mythomagic. see tags for triggers.

i’ve also put it under a read more because it’s so freakin long. oops.

NICO’S NEGLECTED TIMELINE.

i. CHILDHOOD IN ITALY and AMERICA : nico is italian. he grew up in italy. his first language is italian. until he was about nine years old, he lived in italy with his mother and bianca, and hades was actually a semi-present person in his life in his very young years at least. he gets his memories wiped in the river lethe, though some things seem to have remained. the fact that hades has nico and bianca’s memories wiped really, REALLY upsets nico when he finds out what’s happened, and threatens his relationship to hades severely. especially when he finds out what happened to maria ( aka zeus killed her when he was trying to kill bianca and nico, and hades was unable to save both maria and his children ), it becomes incredibly important to him to find a way to remember as much as he can about his history, or at least learn about it. hades fills in some of the gaps, and a fair chunk of his memories are restored, and the rest is partially filled in by doing old fashioned research. discovering more about his family and reconnecting himself to his italian roots is incredibly important to nico-- he’s lost his mother and bianca already at this point, so this is the closest he can get to feeling close to them again.

ii. TIME IN THE LABYRINTH : nico learns a lot in the labyrinth from king minos, and that’s kind of the problem. nico is a really, really young kid at this point ( bianca died at i think 12 years old, so nico is probably in the 10-11 years old range at the time. rick’s given some conflicting reports about nico’s specific age, which makes it really hard to figure out exactly how old he is. we just know he’s the same age as will solace in modern time-- in my canon, nico is 12ish. see my post about his timeline here. ) and all of a sudden he finds himself lost in the labyrinth where his only guide is minos. that’s it. no one else. minos teaches him how to shadow travel, and nico’s pretty much locked in the labyrinth with nothing else to do but work on understanding and strengthening his powers. by the time he’s reunited with percy in daedalus’ workshop, his powers are pretty strong. he’s able to create enough of a distraction that they can escape kronos briefly, so he’s pretty powerful even for a kid his age.

the time in the labyrinth is critical to his growth, but also really disturbing. minos encourages nico’s obsession with strengthening his powers, and that mentality really sticks with nico for an uncomfortably long time after he’s left the labyrinth. he then makes the choice to go back into the labyrinth multiple times. the fact that he’s more comfortable wandering around the labyrinth than staying at camp speaks volumes about who nico is as a person, and can’t be emphasized enough in its importance when it comes to the growth of nico’s powers and the increase in his desire for isolation.

iii. TIME IN TARTARUS : long story short, nico’s time in tartarus fucks him up. a constant barrage of psychological, mental, and emotional torment knocks him back to a point where he’s just about lost his mind completely by the time he’s captured and removed from tartarus. in my version of nico, at least, he’s barely got a grasp on who he is by the time gaea’s forces catch him. his time in tartarus drags all of his bad memories and losses right up to the front of his mind, and he really goes above and beyond the extreme to stay alive. the greatly debated timeline of events for the pjo/hoo series says that nico is in tartarus for about twelve days before being put in the jar for three. however, i disagree with this estimate strongly. percy and annabeth are trapped in tartarus for eighteen days according to the timeline, and while yes, them being in tartarus together rather than alone allows them to keep their sanity longer than it would if they were just on their own, it’s stated that as a child of hades, nico is probably more resilient when it comes to the effects of tartarus. we also know from his interaction with akhlys that some of tartarus’ “foes” don’t have as much of an effect on nico as they do on others. akhlys says there’s not much she can do to him when she meets him, because he’s already so miserable, her powers are limited in their usefulness. so my guess is that nico was in there for about a month or so before being removed by gaea’s sons and placed in the bronze jar. but point is that nico’s time in tartarus is wildly disturbing and contributes to a lot of his fears, which are touched on below. nico’s time in tartarus is central to who he is as a character the way i write him, and while he hates talking about it, it’s something he thinks about a lot everyday.

NICO’S MOTIVATIONS.

i. TRAUMA OVER LOSING BIANCA : i haven’t changed much from canon for this but i will say this one thing-- bianca was the last person for years to say that she loved nico. no one told him, no one said anything, no one expressed that they really truly cared about him for a disturbingly long time. i touch on how this impacts nico’s feelings towards percy below but in my interpretation, nico kind of just.... forgets that people can/do love him. at least in my verse of things, probably the first person that’s told him that they love him since before bianca died was will solace, and the realization that since bianca, there hasn’t been a single person alive that loved him really seriously rattles and damages him. it’s bittersweet being told that people love him, because while it’s important to him, it’s also jarring to look back and think that for a long time, no one did at all.

ii. FEELINGS FOR PERCY : yes, a lot of nico’s actions are driven by his complicated feelings for percy. rick definitely touched on that a lot more in the later books after we find out that nico is gay, and we saw a lot of reasoning for nico’s actions come into focus in this new lens when it came to looking at who nico is as a person. there’s the really great ( for showing nico’s feelings, the scene itself is horrific and terrible ) scene in house of hades that i’m gonna quote even though it’s long, but--

Images flashed through [ Jason’s ] mind. He saw Nico and his sister on a snowy cliff in Maine, Percy Jackson protecting them from a manticore. Percy’s sword gleamed in the dark. He’d been the first demigod Nico had ever seen in action. Later, at Camp Half-Blood, Percy took Nico by the arm, promising to keep his sister Bianca safe. Nico believed him. Nico looked into his sea-green eyes and thought, How can he possibly fail? This is a real hero. He was Nico’s favorite game, Mythomagic, brought to life. Jason saw the moment when Percy returned and told Nico that Bianca was dead. Nico had screamed and called him a liar. He’d felt betrayed, but still... when the skeleton warriors attacked, he couldn’t let them harm Percy. Nico had called on the earth to swallow them up, and then he’d run away-- terrified of his own powers, and his own emotions.

- The House of Hades

we can see really clearly nico’s crush on percy forming during even his earliest interactions with percy, and while i strongly disagree that nico understood his feelings when he first ran from camp ( see below section about nico’s sexuality ), he does come to understand them later on, and responds to those feelings by avoiding getting emotionally attached or reliant on anyone, including the rest of campers at chb, the main gang, etc. it’s true that his feelings for percy dictate a lot of his actions, both in service of percy’s causes and in relation to how he acts around percy and those close to him ( like annabeth ). however, i cannot stress enough that NONE OF NICO’S ACTIONS IN MY VERSION OF HIM ARE DRIVEN BY HIS DESIRE TO GET PERCY TO LOVE HIM BACK. canon says these are his motivations outright with the quote :

“An idea came to him-- possibly the stupidest, craziest idea he’d had since he thought, hey, I’ll get Percy to swim in the River Styx! He’ll love me for that!”

- The Blood of Olympus

i think this does nico a huge disservice. while yes, i maintain that nico’s feelings for percy influenced a lot of his behavior and played a major role in his actions, none of the things he did were done with the hopes of getting percy to love him back. nico is mad at percy and blames him for bianca’s death-- he’s not going to be trying to show percy that he’s worth loving. he’s got nothing to make up for or prove. him trying to show off repeatedly by nearly killing himself on multiple occasions overexerting himself while using his powers to help or protect percy-- getting percy to bathe in the river styx, coming to his aid at multiple battles, trying to save him from falling into tartarus-- don’t scream “please love me back” to me.

in fact, i think it’s really fucked up to put that on nico and his relationship to percy. i’ll probably do a whole meta on this at some point too because i’m really mad about this in the books but the way that rick set up nico’s relation to percy with him trying to get percy to love him back is so wildly unhealthy that it’s disturbing. no. it weakens nico as a person and as a character and makes him seem pathetic, just sadly trailing along after percy and doing whatever percy wants / needs because he just wants him to like him back. nope. i ain’t playin this shit, and let me tell you what the better narrative is--

people do crazy things to protect the people that they love, and nico’s reasoning for all of the crazy stuff he did to protect percy was based on his feelings for him and wanting to keep him safe, even if he is with someone else. that doesn’t stop him from being jealous and even a little resentful of percy’s relationship with annabeth, but he’s not running around trying to get rid of annabeth so he can win percy. that’s not who he is, and that’s never been who he is. so again, i’m gonna stress that nico is NOT motivated by his desire to get percy to love him back, but rather by the fact that he loves percy enough to put his life and safety on the line for him.

iii. ANXIETY : my version of nico focuses A LOT on anxiety. nico’s life has, to put it simply, been a nightmare and a half, which ultimately leads to him having a lot of issues with things like self image, his ability to connect with other people, etc. so my version of nico really runs with that, especially in just his day-to-day life.

now, he’s clearly fucking around in this scene, but--

“Nico,” I said at last, “shouldn’t you be sitting at the Hades table?” He shrugged. “Technically, yes. But if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen. Cracks open in the floor. Zombies crawl out and start roaming around. It’s a mood disorder. I can’t control it. That’s what I told Chiron.” “And is it true?” I asked. Nico smiled thinly. “I have a note from my doctor.” Will raised his hand. “I’m his doctor.”

- The Hidden Oracle

now this is a cute giggle scene that i’ll call back to in the next section for other reasons, but nico has up to this point been a hardcore loner. being at camp and around other campers has consistently made him uncomfortable up until blood of olympus, so him making not just a little effort but a whole thing out of it so he doesn’t have to sit alone is what i’m focused on, and why the thought of people disliking him, etc. fuels a lot of his behavior. he’s working on getting over it in the hidden oracle, but he’s still got a long way to go.

in my version of nico, his anxiety is more heavily connected to his phobikinesis, aka his ability to radiate the feelings of fear and death, which is something he inherited from hades. nico frequently uses this in battle as we see, but in just normal life, it shows up a lot more. one of nico’s powers basically lets him kill plant life around him, but when he is especially anxious, angry, or upset, the same happens. a large chunk of people being freaked out by him in the earlier days is because he’s, well, the son of hades, but it’s also his own anxieties getting literally projected onto other people, who then show the same discomfort he’s afraid of them showing. while he’s clearly using this as an excuse to get what he wants in the hidden oracle segment, it is a genuine problem for him, and i don’t think chiron would’ve allowed it if he thought nico was just fucking around. there’s something real behind it that i don’t think we should ignore, so for my version of nico, at least, it’s very real and has seriously changed his life because of how people see him and behave around him.

nico’s anxiety plays into some of his other powers as well. i touch on this later with nico’s “mood disorder”, as he calls it, which he uses to get it so chiron will let him sit at the apollo table during meals, but nico is able to kill things around him with pure anxiety. in house of hades--

Nico braced himself against a column, his legs trembling visibly. “Hey, man...” Jason stepped toward him, but Nico waved him off. At Nico’s feet, the grass turned brown and wilted. The dead patch spread outward, as if poison were seeping from the soles of his shoes.

- The House of Hades

i talk more about this scene later on when it comes to nico’s fears, but nico’s nervousness, shame, sadness, anger, and fear are all connected to how this power manifests itself, and it’s a serious problem for him that he’s never really had to get under control until he starts spending time with more people, i.e. after blood of olympus.

iv. JEALOUSY : i’m not going to expand on this much but nico is a wildly jealous person, which we see multiple times throughout the series. he’s petty and jealous, that’s about it. i don’t think it gets emphasized enough that he feels these emotions, especially as strongly as he does.

NICO’S WORST FEARS.

i. THE DARK : nico spent a disturbingly long amount of time in tartarus. as a child of hades, he claims that darkness never bothered him before--

“I am the son of Hades. I go where I wish. The darkness is my birthright.”

- The Blood of Olympus

--but i disagree when he says this doesn’t bother him at all. not only is nico an incredibly proud individual, he’s kind of an Extra kid that puts on a tough face whenever he feels even vaguely doubted or threatened. he could easily just be bullshitting here so he can do what he wants rather than admitting he’s afraid. my interpretation of nico’s fear of the dark comes initially from the lines--

This did not seem to reassure Nico. “I don’t like being in the dark,” he muttered. An odd complaint for a child of Hades, but I understood...

- The Hidden Oracle

while he’s admittedly not talking specifically about nico’s fear of the dark, the fact that apollo finds it weird for a child of hades to complain about the dark when nico said literally one book ago that the darkness is his “birthright” sparked the idea. especially when it comes to not just nico’s time in tartarus, but the time he was trapped in the jar by gaea’s sons, it’s not an illogical conclusion to say that he has at least an acute phobia of the dark.

ii. CONFINED SPACES : like his fear of the dark, nico’s fear of confined spaces comes from his time in the bronze jar. once he’s captured by gaea’s forces, they drop him in the jar and take him out of tartarus. he’s got limited oxygen in there and needs to go into a death trance just to keep himself alive. at this point, he’s been in the dark for so long, being trapped in pretty much complete darkness in a closed space where he’s slowly running out of oxygen isn’t exactly relaxing, especially after he’s been stumbling around in tartarus and then captured. this basically just means that he gets antsy in closed spaces and big crowds where he doesn’t have his own personal space. he likes hades cabin because he’s usually the only one there, and he can keep it however he wants. i fully believe that after returning to and deciding to officially stay at camp, he gets a little more light in there, changes up his little coffin bed, and keeps lights on at pretty much all times, even if it’s just greek fire or something. complete darkness is something nico only does when it comes to shadow travel.

iii. HIS SEXUALITY / BEING OUTED : cupid pretty much making nico admit that he’s gay in front of jason nearly breaks nico. we see him when he’s trying to still keep his feelings for percy private, he goes so far to try and keep that to himself. we also need to consider how angry/upset nico gets when cupid tries to out him. i mentioned him killing the grass in my section about nico’s anxiety, but nico shows off the full force of his power. i’m gonna quote a few chunks of this part from house of hades, but--

“Nico,” [ Jason ] called, “what does this guy want from you?” ‘Tell him, Nico di Angelo,’ Cupid said. ‘Tell him the real reason you ran from Camp Half-Blood, and why you are always alone.’ Nico let loose a guttural scream. The ground at his feet split open and skeletons crawled forth-- dead Romans with missing hands and caved-in skulls, cracked ribs, and jaws unhinged [ ... ] ‘Will you hide among the dead, as you always do?’ Cupid taunted. Waves of darkness rolled off the son of Hades. When they hit Jason, he almost lost consciousness-- overwhelmed by hatred and fear and shame...

- House of Hades

nico legit summons a mini army of the dead to attack cupid so he can try to avoid admitting he’s in love with percy ( or was, he claims that he’s over it later in the chapter, but personally i don’t think it is ), and if that ain’t an overreaction to someone trying to get you to admit you’ve got a crush, i don’t know what is. then, when we get to the part where nico ACTUALLY admits it, he’s overwhelmed with a wide variety of negative emotions. one more time--

'Stop hiding,’ Cupid said [ ... ] ‘You do not have the strength.’ “Nico,” Jason managed to say, “it’s okay. I get it.” Nico glanced over, pain and misery washing across his face. “No, you don’t,” he said. “There’s no way you can understand.” ‘And so you run away again,’ Cupid chihded. ‘From your friends, from yourself.’ “I don’t have friends!” Nico yelled. “I left Camp Half-Blood because I didn’t belong! I’ll never belong!”

[ ... ] Nico’s voice was like broken glass. “I--I wasn’t in love with Annabeth.” “You were jealous of her,” Jason said. “That’s why you didn’t want to be around her. Especially why you didn’t want to be around... him. It makes total sense.” All the fight and denial seemed to go out of Nico at once. The darkness subsided. The Roman dead collapsed into bones and crumbled to dust. “I hated myself,” Nico said. “I hated Percy Jackson.”

[ ... ]

“I had a crush on Percy,” Nico spat. “That’s the truth. That’s the big secret.” He glared at Cupid. “Happy now?”

- The House of Hades

he’s embarrassed, and ashamed, and when jason tells him it’s fine, he snaps at him--

"Just who I am... Easy for you to say. [ ... ] The only person who ever accepted me was Bianca, and she died! I didn't choose any of this. My father, my feelings..."

i fully believe that part of nico’s fear of coming out is based on the era he was raised in as a child. it’s not clear ( though it’s at least somewhat implied in the above lines ) that he ever got a chance to come out to bianca, but i don’t think he did. while nico’s friends are all cool with it when he does come out to them, the 1930s-1940s were a tense time with the rise of italian fascism and the lead up to world war ii, but all in all, it didn’t create a super safe environment for nico to even consider his sexuality in. especially once italy allied itself with nazi germany, nico’s sexuality would’ve been not only something he considered shameful, but something that he could’ve gotten killed for under the mussolini regime in italy. though he and his family left italy in the 1940s and came to america, at that point, the mentality had sunk in. not everyone struggling with understanding their sexuality knows from a very young age that they’re not straight, and i think that nico would be discouraged from even beginning to understand that side of himself until after bianca died. having missed that opportunity to come out to his family ( with the exception of hades, who’s just kinda “i’m fine with it as long as you stop talking to me about percy jackson and how cool he is” about it ) made him reluctant to share his secret with anyone else, especially when he’s been raised in an environment where that was shameful. one more quote from house of hades, but--

Nico [ ... ] regarded Jason, as if waiting for an attack. “If the others found out--” “If the others found out,” Jason said, “you’d have that many more people to back you up [ ... ].” Nico scowled. Jason still felt the resentment and anger rippling off of him. [ ... ] “I don’t feel that way anymore,” Nico muttered. “I mean, I gave up on Percy. I was young and impressionable, and I-- I don’t...” His voice cracked, and Jason could tell the guy was about to get teary-eyed. Whether Nico had really given up on Percy or not, Jason couldn’t imagine what it had been like for Nico all those years, keeping a secret that would’ve been unthinkable to share in the 1940s, denying who he was, feeling completely alone-- even more isolated than other demigods.

- The House of Hades

nico panics and almost bursts into tears at the thought of jason telling anyone. jason ultimately keeps his secret until nico’s ready to come out ( though it’s my firm belief that nico doesn’t come out to more than a few people; see below ), but nico lives in constant fear of being outed until, at least, he admits to percy that he had a crush on him, which he eventually does in blood of olympus. ( you can read my full analysis of this scene here )

but that’s a huge detour from why i’m talking about this. my main point is that nico’s fear of coming out is centered widely around his own self-consciousness when it comes to the subject and the mindset in which he was raised. it’s not until jason supporting him ( and keeping his secret until he was ready to talk about it to others ) and meeting will solace that he actually becomes more secure with this part of his identity, though he’s still not entirely comfortable with it. i’ve harped on this a lot, and i’ll move on soon, but nico’s discomfort--

Will turned to me. “I apologize for my boyfriend.” Nico rolled his eyes. “Could you not--” “Would you prefer special guy?” Will asked. “Or significant other?” “Significant annoyance, in your case,” Nico grumbled. “Oh, I’ll get you for that.” Meg wiped her dripping nose. “You guys fight a lot.”

- The Hidden Oracle

yes, this is kinda just passed off as a funny little exchange between the two of them, and part of their relationship. nico and will exchange witty banter through a lot of the book, and i’ll point to another little exchange not long after--

“In the meantime, no one else should roam the camp alone. Use the buddy system.” “Understood.” Will looked at Nico. “Will you be my buddy?” “You are a dork,” Nico announced. The two of them strolled off bickering.

- The Hidden Oracle

will and nico are clearly affectionate towards each other throughout the book, and nico is a lot more relaxed around will later on, like when they’re all eating dinner together at apollo’s table ( see the “I have a note from my doctor.” exchange ), but immediately gets cranky when will starts calling him by romantic partner nicknames. it’s not just friendly bickering, it’s discomfort, especially in front of will’s father ( shoutout to apollo ) who could EASILY disapprove of him as will’s partner.

NICO’S POWERS.

there’s a full list of all of nico’s powers and abilities on his about page (here), i’m just going to toss in here that a lot of the specifics fo his abilities i’ve taken some creative liberties with. since he’s got so many and they’re not all touched on that much except for once or twice, i’ve made the executive decision to make my own rules a bit.

feel free to ask questions about this if you’ve got any, he’s got a lot of powers and it gets confusing easily.

MYTHOMAGIC.

this section isn’t anything important it’s more just a disclaimer that i’ve made up all the rules for mythomagic because there are no rules in canon. i’m bullshitting my way through that game and everyone should know it. i’ve based my concept on it on the game stratego, and morphed it into kind of a weird combo of that and d&d. personally i’ve never been part of a d&d campaign, but i’m a champion at stratego, so that’s why i picked that game as the basis for my mythomagic rules.

if you’ve read through to the end honestly congrats i’m impressed. please accept this gif of nico giggling like a moron as your prize

#nda headcanons #( i think i’m running out of time || musings; nico di angelo )#anxiety tw #death tw #ptsd tw #just in case #i know this is long as hell and no one has to read it it's just important to me that i toss it out there #mostly for my own reference but i realized i changed a lot of stuff when it comes to just like. smaller details.#sO #this is a full overview of my precious boy #thanks for your time #please don't reblog #graphic template under the tag #psd made by me #homophobia tw #nazism tw #nazis tw #nda || verse info #mine

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takaraphoenix · 3 years

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spuffy for the ask game since you have a spuffy story coming up on your schedule?

Yes, yes I do! And sure can do! ^-^

I love Spuffy. It has been one of my absolute favorite ships from all fandoms for many years, but ever since I also read the comic continuation, I gotta say, Spuffy is the favorite ship. The most beloved of all ships I've ever sailed.

They are the embodiment of hero/villain enemies turned lovers.

And they have my favorite m/f dynamic; he's full of snark and bastard energy, but oh is he soft for her.

And they also have that thing that makes me love ships the most; it's a ship between my two favorite characters from that franchise. If a ship unites my two faves, it just instantly gains more of my love, because it means I get them both, at the same time, happy, with each other.

I love the way their dynamic slowly changes over the seasons.

I have a soft spot for early bastard secondary villain Spike, he is hilarious and Buffy's annoyance with him is delightful.

And then he has his literal oh moment of realizing he's into Buffy and he doesn't know how to handle it and he handles it in the whackiest, weirdest way possible. I mean, role playing with Harm? Having Warren build a sex bot? The incredibly awkard stalking?

But things get more serious and less of a comic relief "look at that poor bastard" when Spike becomes one of the people Buffy trusts. One of the people she trusts the most, I'd say, considering she leaves her mother and her sister with him, repeatedly.

Season 5 is such a good Spuffy season in that Spike becomes a Scooby by sheer force of will. Somewhere in my mind still lives an alternate spin where the Scoobies do escape Glory in their RV and just... have a merry roadtrip with each other.

And sure, it's easy to dismiss Spike - easy for Buffy and the other characters. Because he's a vampire, and not a fancy one with a soul like Angel. He might lust for Buffy, but it can't be love, right.

But, and that's what makes me love this ship so much, it is love, even without a soul. (It's also what makes me love Spike so much, because he is such a complex character with so much growth who was already so much more than just a vampire even without his soul.)

Him bringing flowers after Joyce died, not to somehow score points with Buffy, but because he genuinely liked Joyce and they had genuinely bonded with each other. Because he mourns, even without a soul.

And, the biggest evidence as to him genuinely loving her - he stays, when Buffy dies.

If it were all misplaces lust that he blows out of proportion, he wouldn't have stayed. Buffy was dead and since Willow, Tara and Xander didn't tell him about wanting to resurrect her, he had no reason to stay, no reason to believe she would ever be back.

But he stayed in Sunnydale. And not just to mourn and get drunked and fucked up, the way he did when Dru dumped him.

He was a Scooby. For months, he worked with them to protect Sunnydale, to fight demons, to help raise Dawn. He took on so much responsibility and for the first time truly became a hero, a good guy. He fought for the good cause, not to impress Buffy and score points with her, not out of any misplaced reasons. Solely because she was gone and he wanted to honor her legacy, he wanted to do what she would do if she were still there, he wanted to protect those she had died to protect.

I have a very complicated relationship to season 6's Spuffy. It's very self-destructive, on both parts. She's only using him, he becomes her bad coping mechanism with being brought back to life. And he knows that, but he can't stay away. Personally, I think all of Seeing Red was a huge mistake and especially after the build-up of what they had Spike do for Buffy so far without a soul, it... it felt like a whole different writer with entirely different ideas just grabbed the script and hijacked it at that point, to be quite frank. I do think that at that point in how Spike's character was established, it was OoC. Even if you try to argue that their relationship had already been a mess of mixed signals, with "I hate you, you disgust me" being followed by mindblowing sex, I still think that this was pushing things too far.

But it brought us Spike going to get his soul, so I digress.

And then comes season 7 and season 7 is just peak Spuffy. Season 7 is my happy place. Gods. The way Buffy cares for him, the way she protects him, from the others, from the First, from himself. The way she stands up for him. How she keeps choosing him.

The way they banter and raise "the children" together once he feels better.

And when everyone in an act of being incredibly, impossibly, forcibly OoC just turns their back on Buffy and also stabs hers, repeatedly, he is still there. He tells them off the way I was yelling at my screen too and then he found her and comforted her and simply held her.

And then he died. Not for her, but because he actually was a hero. And it wrecked me. (The best thing AtS ever did was bring Spike back to live, imo.)

Let's skip season 8 to the end, where he comes in as the knight in shining armor, having done his research on how to stop the apocalypse unfolding once again and how, even though she had just hooked up with Angel, she immediately starts fantasizing about Spike as soon as he's in the room? I swear, season 8 is a freaking mess.

But season 9... really hurts. That she'd come to him, of all the people she knows and loves, she comes to him when she doesn't know how to keep going, when she considers running away and raising a child, being a family. He is the person she thinks about. And he is the person she comes to for back-up when she decides to have an abortion. Whether she goes to a happy place or a dark place, in both scenarios she chose him over everyone else, to have him at her side.

And season 10 finally gives us the canon romantic relationship between them. Finally, they actually get together and it is so good. The way they communicate with each other, the way she reassures him that she chose him and no one's going to come between them, tells him that he is a good man and also finds for herself that she is not just happy in this relationship, she also finds that she loves herself more, she likes the person she is when she is with him (she literally says that).

Buffy has a freaking mind-journey, traveling into Spike's mind and seeing and feeling just how much he loves her, how regardless of what else is going on, he loves her.

They are... They are everything I always dreamed they could be in a real relationship - they have their problems, but they talk them through, they reassure and support each other, they're domestic and cute, they make each other better, not by changing the other but by supporting the other and giving each other the chance to be their best self.

When they actually are in a real relationship, neither of them is jealous. And both have shown in the past to be prone to jealousy. But when Buffy tells Spike that Angel is her past and that he is her present, he accepts that and he doesn't feel the need to be a jackass around Angel. And when Spike tells Buffy about his could-have-been Dylan, Buffy doesn't get jealous over her, no, she decides they should go to Dylan's art-show and she gets along splendidly with her.

Season 11 is an overall rough ride, I mean, they are literally locked inside an internment camp for nearly the whole season. But the Spuffy keeps you going, because they are so strong together, they make this work, together.

The season ends with them kissing, with Buffy saying "I love you" for the very first time and all Scoobies being together and it's... the picture-perfect ending to Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I could have ever imagined.

(There is no season 12 in my mind. That was Fray-centric garbage that did a disservice to Buffy as a character.)

Send me a ship and I will explain why I do or don't ship it

#Spuffy #alfagahgölh this turned out long #I just love them a lot #Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Ship Ask Game #send me asks

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paperclipninja · 6 years

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Younger post-ep ramble 5x07 part 1

Ok, so the feelings about Younger 5x07 are real, my feelings are real (see what I did there 😉) and they are many. I have watched the ep many times because there is SO much happening in it and I’ve discovered new gems each viewing. I’ve decided to split my ramble into 2 posts, this one is going to be the episode overall with a bit of a superficial reference to Charles and Liza perhaps, but I’m going to dedicate a separate post to them and their interactions throughout the episode because this one is going to get out of control otherwise!

Words are below the read more and there’s a good chance it’s going to be many words long with intermittent flailing thrown in for good measure. Proceed at own risk.

I’m always cautiously optimistic going into an episode that has been as hyped as ‘A Christmas Miracle’. Anticipation was high, hopes were high and this ep certainly did deliver, in many many ways. And yes, OBVIOUSLY the Team Charles shipper in me has thought about how the pairing might eventuate and I will most definitely be talking about all things Charles and Liza in post 2/2, but there were also some of the best one liners and moments of the entire series in this ep and it is quite seriously like a Christmas stocking stuffed to the brim with delightful treats!

So first things first, let’s get this whole Maggie/Penelope/Luca thing on the table. WHAT THE WHAT??? I mean, Penelope and Luca most certainly struck me as fishy last ep, but the golden handcuffs and sort-of-flirtatious-but-not-quite-oh-look-now-I-own-you vibe was making me wonder if the movie being referenced in this holiday delight was less Bridget Jones’ Diary and more Silence of the Lambs meets Eyes Wide Shut. So flipping weird. And it actually made me a bit sad for Maggie for two reasons: 1) all of that work Maggie has done is now locked away in storage and that must hurt and 2) while her calling out the weirdness and walking out of the party was A+ excellent, I feel like Maggie would be a very good judge of character and the fact she didn’t pick up on their bizzaro manner and general existence and at least comment on it seemed a little out of character to me. In saying that though, I totally get that as an artist, a big fat pay-cheque is rare and the thought of people buying and displaying all your work would be overwhelmingly flattering. I hope Maggie gets another big exhibition this season with success in the form of slightly less creepy buyers.

I’m going to jump to Kelsey now and her whole situation. Oh Kelsey, you’re in a bit of a pickle now, aren’t you? We all knew that the double dipping was going to end badly and I certainly don’t think we’ve seen it all play out yet, but there was a little part of me that quite enjoyed her torment over how she would manage being at the party with both Zane and Jake. We’ve seen Jake’s true colours in this ep and I gotta say, they ain’t pretty. I was also a bit conflicted about Zane, despite feeling sorry for him and the way he got bumped from the book. Now I said it last week, I’m warming up to Zane more and more and I genuinely felt bad for him, but the comment he made to Kelsey that he should’ve ‘stopped this the second I saw it’ did not sit well with me. Dude, stopped what? The book? Kelsey working on it? Or Kelsey’s free choice about who she sleeps with?

I definitely don’t think it’s wise for Kelsey to be sleeping with an author as she’s trying to get a book finished, but would Zane care what she was doing if he wasn’t also into her? Probs not I’m guessing. I can see that there may be other interpretations of that line, but that’s how I took it and coupled with Jake’s possessive move to get Zane off the book and lock Kelsey in a basement all for himself I feel like these guys, who in one breath hail Kelsey’s intelligence and strength, are also thinking they have some kind of claim over her. I’ll give Zane a chance to redeem himself and put his comment down to the pain of losing the only book he has going at the moment, but Jake is officially bad news IMO. Watch this space, but I sense DRAH-MAH on the horizon.

Two words: Diana Trout. That woman is an icon and some of her lines in this ep were some of the best of the series, hands down. And so were her scenes. The Enzo/Christmas tree situation was heartburstingly adorable. What I love most about this blossoming relationship is that neither Diana or Enzo try to change the other, they really do like the other just as they are (Bridget Jones reference intended). It would have been so easy for the writers to have Diana feel uneasy about Enzo and keep him separated from her public life or for her to feel embarrassed or try to change him, but these two are so absurdly different yet it works and it’s just a joy to watch. I read a couple of comments saying that we’re seeing Diana soften but I actually think that it’s not that, it’s that she’s willing to show her softer side to Enzo. I know that distinction may sound tenuous, but I feel like Diana has always had that side to her but she only reveals it once she feels comfortable with people (which we’ve seen as the series has progressed and her relationship with Liza has developed). I also realised I’ve never seen Diana laugh, heartily laugh, like she did after the champagne cork popped and I have to wonder if that was a break in character that they kept in or if it’s the lighter side of Diana we’re getting insight into?

And of course the gift exchange with Liza, ugh, I actually cried. It was so incredibly moving, the mutual respect and admiration was emanating from my screen. Not to mention the line that should win an award: ‘Neckwear should inspire envy Liza, not seizures’. I’m dead set laughing as I type it. Diana continues to evolve and surprise me as a viewer and I think she is one of the best characters to have ever been on TV. I can’t wait to see where the rest of the season takes her.

Apologies for the jumping from one thing to another but I have just come back to life after this episode rendered me dead, so my thought processes are still a bit all over the place…ah yes, Josh. Now I know that there is a bit of frustration out there about the way Caitlin is fuelling Josh’s hope but funnily enough, it did not bother me overly in this ep. When Josh comes to the apartment with the gifts (one for Maggie and one for Liza) it becomes clear pretty quickly that Caitlin’s last conversation she had with her mother was around the fact that they’d broken up but were no longer on good terms. Which is beside the point tbh. As Liza herself says, her romantic relationships are none of her business. From that one would hope Caitlin might think perhaps that means there have been or are other relationships other than Josh…but nope.

The thing I really liked about the present scene was that Caitlin’s immaturity is showing here so badly, highlighted only by Maggie’s ‘wtf is wrong with you?’ looks. The idea that a relationship can go from romantic to platonic is beyond her (although she is right that Josh is still in the loves with Liza) and the aspect that bothered me about her going to speak to Josh before he left was more that is was a super immature thing to do. It’s immature in its sweetness and desire to see her mum happy, as well as immature in the lack of consideration that there may be complicated factors at play that she’s not privy to. I get that she thinks she’s helping fix a situation but it’s really very disrespectful after Liza was quite clear about where it stands. So Caitlin doesn’t bother me, if anything it shows that there is a really big disconnect between who she thinks her mum is and who her mum really is and I do hope that is rectified in the near future.

And my take on the Josh situation is as it stood last week. I feel like we’re beating a dead horse here. The whole ‘don’t give up on her’ line, I know the writers want to keep a flame flickering but at this point it’s actually just tiresome. I’m trying to be objective and think how I would feel if I was Team Josh and this was my situation but you know, I legitimately watch this show because I love it overall and if the ship I was digging wasn’t sailing I’d still be watchng, I just wouldn’t be so invested that I feel the need to write atrociously self-indulgent posts about my thoughts and feelings after every episode...but if my main reason for watching was the ship and it was Josh/Liza I think I actually would’ve stopped watching. With Liza’s growth and development this past season and a bit, even if she doesn’t end up with Charles, it would be a complete disservice to her character to go back to Josh. I said it last week and I’ll say it again, the character of Josh has stagnated so badly that he is quickly becoming unlikable so I really, genuinely, hope that the writers give this character some kind of rejuvenation and a life. At some point the desire to try and keep ALL fans happy by trying to maintain a limping love triangle is going to backfire and no one will be happy.

This is absurdly long so I will close part 1 of this ramble and continue shortly with post 2, the Charles and Liza chronicles…

#youngertv #tv land #diana trout #maggie amato #kelsey peters #zane anders #ramble #apologies to anyone on a mobile!#liza miller

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