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kamiversee · 2 months

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➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 40 || The Ringtone

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, fluff, & sexual tension.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 4.2k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——THESE WERE YOUR LAST thoughts before you dozed off. Unfortunately for you, your moment of sleeping lasted maybe twenty minutes before the sound of your phone ringing hit your ears.

You stirred awake, still lying on top of Choso who was dead to the world within his slumber. With careful movements, you were able to slip out of his arms and wobble over to your phone that was inside the pocket of the long disregarded jacket on the floor.

When you crouched down to get the device, it stopped ringing as if whoever was calling didn’t mean to and you let out a huff. Not only were your legs sore in some places but getting up to come get your phone only annoyed you since the call stopped before you could even see who it was.

As you look at your notifications, you still don’t see who it is that called you so you had to go to your recent call log to find out. As you do so, the first name is in red, indicating that you missed a call from the contact under the name Asshole-- also known as, Gojo Satoru.

You wanted to know why he called, even though he ended it before you could answer, so you went to call back. Only for your finger to click on the call prior to that… which happens to be Choso. You think you jump out of your skin when music begins to play from a nearby device.

‘We can go wherever you like.’

What the hell? Is that NewJeans?

‘Baby say the words and I’m down.’

Where was it coming from?

‘All I need is you by my side.’

Why is it so loud?

‘We can go wherever you like.’ ‘Now, where are you?’

Fuck, Choso’s going to wake up any second now.

‘What’s your ETA? What’s your ETA?’

Turn it off. Turn it off.

‘What’s your ETA, What’s your ETA-’

You had finally clicked the phone off, shutting your eyes and letting silence fill the air again.

Choso’s phone was sitting on a table nearby and that was the source of the sound. You kinda panicked when you heard it so instead of just ending the call from your phone which was literally in your hands, you rushed over to his and struggled to get it off.

It was a silly mistake of yours and now you feel so embarrassed that you accidentally just called Choso, who’s literally in the same room as you. Even so, you start smiling as you realize what his ringtone is for you.

Turning your head around to the man in question, you watch as he makes eye contact with you for less than a second before turning so that his back is to you. His face was red as a tomato and you’re pretty sure he never intended for you to know about that.

“Choso…” You murmur, watching his body move a bit as he sighs heavily.

“Shut up,” Choso grumbles.

Your smile widens and you make your way over to him, leaning over his resting frame and forcing your face into his peripheral vision. “Is that really your ringtone for me?” You whisper to the male.

His face is so red that even with the dim lighting you can see it. “...Y-Yeah.” Choso’s voice is so small and you don’t think you’ve ever seen him this embarrassed.

“That’s so cute,” You chuckle, “I-”

He mumbles your name, “I don’t wanna talk about it…”

“But Cho, that’s adorable.” You gush anyway, “I don’t have ringtones for anyone and I’ve never known anyone to have one for me so…”

He just barely looks at you from the corner of his eyes, “It’s only like that cause’ it… it just lets me know it’s you calling…”

“Yeah, but you could’ve chosen any song,” You tease. Choso says something but it’s so low and mumbled that you genuinely couldn’t hear him. Leaning closer and pressing your chest to his back, you smile and talk softly, “Hm? What was that?”

His face is so hot and red with embarrassment. He can’t do this with you so he looks away from you and tries to ignore your body pressing against his.

“C’mon Cho, what’d you say?” You question gently.

“I…” He clears his throat, “I said… I uhm…” His face is so damn red, “I c-chose a song that makes me think of you, I dunno…” Choso explains with a sheepish shrug.

You’re trying not to tease him but he’s just so cute like this, “Awww, Chosoooo,” You coo to the man.

He grits his teeth and looks away from you again, “Please shut up…”

“Nooo, that’s so sweet.” You continue regardless.

He pouts, “I don’t like you right now…”

That makes you laugh, “Why? I just think you having a ringtone for me is cute. Do you have one for everyone?”

Choso is quiet for a second as he thinks. Then, he sighs, “No…”

Your eyes light up, “Wait so just me?”

“No.” He hums.

Of course, now you’re curious, “Who else?”

“Can we go back to sleep please?” Choso pleads, his face yet to cool down as embarrassment courses through him.

“Nope.” You utter, a large smile plastered across your face, “Who else do you have a ringtone for?”

He sighs, “I’m tired, baby. Can we please go back to sleep?”

“Nooo, tell me who else you have a ringtone for or I’ll go searching.” You say, moving a hand to caress his arm.

His eyes narrow even though he’s not looking at you, “You don’t even know my password…”

“It’s Yuji’s birthday.” You say simply.

He pauses, “How… How do you know that?”

“You told me.”

Choso’s brows pinch together, “When did I tell you my password?”

“I think it was one time when I asked to use your phone for something.” You recall with a slight shrug, “You just kinda’ gave it to me, how do you not remember?”

“I dunno but, to answer your question, I have a ringtone for my brothers too.” Choso finally tells you.

And again, you’re too wrapped up in your teasing to stop, “Awww really? What song-”

“Baby, please.” Choso whines, “I’m embarrassed enough as it is…”

You bite your lower lip, “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

He takes a second to think but his words are falling out of his mouth before he processes them, “Will I still be cute when I flip you over and fuck you back to sleep?”

“Choso!” You huff, your eyes widening at the man.

His face scrunches up in a sassy manner, as if he didn't say anything wrong, “What?”

You pout, “...Why’re you so grumpy all of a sudden?”

“Told’ you I’m embarrassed.” Choso huffs.

You snicker, “Aww, you get angry when you’re embarrassed? Wait that’s so cute-”

“You have ten seconds to stop teasing me.” He warns.

“Or what?”

Choso moves a bit, his body shifting so that he’s lying on his back. You end up somewhat against his chest, your eyes on his as he meets your gaze, “I’m gonna’ put you in your place.”

You burst out laughing, “Put me in my place? Who, you?”

He scoffs, “You think I’m joking…”

Technically, you know he can but most times, Choso is too much of a switch to be one hundred percent dominant with you during sex. One minute he’s telling you to take it and then next he’s begging you to cum for him.

So, you chuckle, brushing off his threat entirely, “Choso you’re too loving to do something like that-”

And in a matter of seconds, you were underneath Choso with your hands pinned above your head. His face was still flushed from embarrassment but his grip on your wrists was as tight as ever.

How did he pull the entirety of your body onto the couch so fast? How did he flip over so quickly? How did he get your wrists crossed over and above your head like this? You genuinely have no idea. He moved so quickly that his touches were there and then gone in a matter of seconds.

You and Choso are both still bare, having never had the energy to put clothes back on ever since you both laid down so, the situation you were in could turn sexual in a matter of seconds if either of you wanted it to.

You swallow, “Choso-”

“Shut up,” He voices, his tone low and commanding for once. Earlier when he said that to you, it was in a joking and light way but right now he looks so serious and it’s… well it’s kinda hot.

So, your mouth shuts and you stare up at him with wide eyes.

Choso gazes down at you for a minute before saying something. “Was earlier not enough?” He questions, his voice so deep and husk all of a sudden.

“Earlier?” You hum innocently, still deciding to poke at him as you tilt your head.

He glares at you but his eyes are still loving, “Don’t act fuckin’ stupid.” Choso says. He sounds mean but it’s coming from a place of teasing and love so, although to someone else he may have seemed genuinely upset, right now he was just acting. “Did I not fuck you hard enough?” He asks.

You shrug a little, “I mean-”

“Actually, don’t answer that,” Choso interrupts. He then leans down to you and your breath hitches in your throat as his lips near yours, “If you can still walk then clearly I didn’t do my job properly.” He comments.

Your eyes widened but before you could say anything, his lips were pressing into yours. His tongue was warm as it slithered into your mouth, quickly licking up your taste and savoring it as he began making out with you. It was a sensual and slow kiss and Choso’s lips slotted so perfectly against your mouth.

For a brief moment, like a really brief moment, hell, barely even a second, his way of kissing you reminded you of Gojo. And you hated to compare them more than anything because there are different and separate things you like about each man.

Choso pulls away carefully and exhales, his breath hitting your lips as both of your eyes pry open. He hums your name and his tone gives you butterflies for some reason.

“Do you wanna go again?” Choso asks gently.

You stare, “My legs are already kinda’ sore…”

“They’ve been worse,” He comments.

“Cho…” You frown.

“Okay well…” Choso starts smiling a little before he even gets the words out. “Can I at least eat you out?”

You give the man a blank stare. Never has there been a time where Choso gave you head and you weren’t left with numb legs, a face wet from tears, and your voice gone after losing it to your moaning.

“Choso that’s basically the same as you putting your dick inside me.” You huff out.

That goes to his ego a bit, “Is it really?”

“And once you go down it’s hard to get you back up…” You point out, sighing.

“I know I know but…” He drops to your neck and kisses you there, “I haven’t tasted you in so long…” Choso whispers, his hands releasing your pinned ones as he moves his lips to your collarbone, “Just one lick, baby…”

You give him a firm look, “That’s the same as saying just the tip and we both know it’s never just the tip.”

“Five minutes, princess…” He pleads, his tastebuds eager for you at the thought alone, “Jus’ let me eat you out for five minutes.”

“No, Choso.” You decline.

He pouts.

You chuckle, “And see? I told you that you were too loving to put me in my place-”

“Alright, bet.” Choso scoffs.

You smirk and look at him, that slight smile of yours fading when he starts bending your legs up. “C-Choso, wait seriously, I’m already sore.” You say with a chuckle.

His touch softens but he doesn’t stop, planting quick kisses down your stomach. “I’ll be gentle then.”

“Baby, c’mon,” You comment, the nickname making his cock twitch.

“You’re making this harder for me…” Choso whispers with a shake of his head, “Literally.”

“Choso, I’m tired.” Your words are half true. Technically, you’re never one to decline Choso of giving you head, he is the best at it after all.

“So tell me to stop.” He says, pausing in his movements to properly give you an out, “Say it.” He urges.

You hesitated for a second, obviously loving it when he gives you head but, you had just told yourself you needed a break, and allowing Choso to do this wouldn’t help. “Stop,” You whisper.

Of course, he doesn’t hesitate to obey. “Oh, you’re serious?” Choso comments as he starts moving. The man shifts your legs around and he goes to sit on his heels.

You watch as in a blink of an eye, Choso starts running his hands up and down your legs, moving to massage them. “Choso, you don’t have to-”

“No no, I was being pushy just now so, lemme’ do this to make up for it,” He tells you.

“I…” You don’t even know what to say to that because it’s clear he feels bad. In his mind, he should’ve stopped as soon as you told him no but he kept trying to convince you and that makes him upset with himself.

A sigh is let out from your mouth as you just lay there and watch Choso massage your legs, his eyes calm as he does so.

“Oh, I actually meant to ask,” Choso starts up, looking over to you, “Why’d you call my phone anyways?”

Your skin tenses within his palms but you think he believes that’s from his massaging, “Uh, I pressed the wrong thing.” That reminds you that you needed to figure out what Gojo called you for-

Wait no, maybe you don’t need to figure that out. Maybe what you need is to just relax under Choso’s touch until you fall asleep again and then in the morning you head your separate ways as you take some time to collect yourself.

“Pressed the wrong thing? Who were you trying to call, then?” Choso asks curiously. He’s far too quick to put two and two together. You’re hesitant on telling him and he picks up on that, “...You were gonna call him, weren’t you?” He assumes.

“N-Not for the reasons you might be assuming,” You rush out, worried about where this conversation is going to go.

Unlike you, Choso’s not worried at all. Especially since he knows how to keep himself together and think in a rational way, “Tell me the reason then.” He requests, quickly adding on a, “...So that I don’t assume,” So that he doesn’t sound upset.

“He called me,” You murmur, “And I went to call back.”

You didn’t know it but your honesty alone was enough for Choso’s heart to expand in ways he couldn’t express. If you had made up some excuse or tried to change the subject he probably would’ve been hurt but the way you just tell him everything is so heartwarming to him.

Unbeknownst to you, Choso has enough liars in his life to deal with so he truly appreciates it when someone’s honest with him, “Are you still going to?” He questions.

“Uh, I dunno, maybe I’ll just text him and ask instead.” You shrug.

Choso’s eyes soften for a moment and he finds himself speaking from the genuine kindness in his heart instead of a place of insecurity and jealousy like he had earlier on, “You should call him.”

You scoff slightly, “Why?”

He shrugs and looks away from you, “Cause’ like… if I were him, I think I… I’d want you to call back.”

“Choso…” You smile a little at how mature he’s being about this, “I thought you didn’t care about him or how he feels?”

“I don’t but…” He swallows, “I care about you and… you care about him so, I just think instead of stressing yourself more, you should just call him back and find out what he wanted. You texting him is only done in courtesy of me, which I don’t want.”

“Oh…” You hum.

“So, yeah…” Choso sighs and returns his gaze to you, “Call him.”

You bat your eyelashes at him, “R-Right now?”

“Whenever you’re ready angel,” He laughs, “I’m not rushing you, I’m just trying to give advice I guess…”

“Thank you.”

“Mhm…” He nods and then redirects his focus to soothing your legs whilst changing the subject, “Anyways, uh… What are your plans for the break?”

Self-isolation and peace of mind for once. But you’re not going to say it that bluntly.

“Uhm,” You pull your lower lip into your mouth in thought. “I think I want some time to uh… focus on myself.”

Choso nods, “Yeah, you need that.”

“That doesn’t bother you?” You blurt out, having felt like telling Choso you want time for yourself might hurt him since in his mind he might feel like he gave you two months to do so already.

“Why would it?” Choso asks, almost as if he’s offended you thought it would, “You have to pick between two guys and your heart is all over the place, if you didn’t say you were gonna’ take a break I was going to suggest one.”

That eases you in more ways than one, “Really?”

“Well, I would’ve liked it if we spent time together during this break but, I think you need the mental rest more than time spent with me.” He says, his voice filled with care.

Your lips curl into a thankful smile, “Aw, Choso…”

“You don’t have to gush about it, I’m just being honest.” He chuckles, shrugging it off like it’s no big deal, “And hey, whenever you do want to see me or talk to me or whatever, you can call me.”

“I can…?” You blink, wondering if he forgot how he told you not to do so.

Choso grins, “Of course, baby.”

“No, I mean like,” You raise a brow, “Are you gonna pick up this time?”

“Yes.” He replies, “I’ll never ignore a call or text from you again.”

“M’kay… I think I… I think I’ll do that when I’m ready.”

“Okay, good.” Choso smiles, “Take as long as you need.”

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

And taking as long as you need is precisely what you did.

Calling Choso or texting him once during the remainder of your winter break might’ve been nice but honestly, as soon as you stopped thinking about him, Gojo, and the list, you were already in a mindset of peace.

What exactly did you do for yourself in that time?

You went shopping, naturally. You bought Shoko some things because it simply felt nice to see the smile on her face whenever you gifted something to her spontaneously.

She never even questioned where you disappeared to on Christmas day and you assume Gojo must’ve told her. Even if he didn’t, you still adored the peace of mind you had not having to explain yourself for once.

On New Year’s Eve and day, you and Shoko had a little pizza night-- just the two of you, and it was perfect. You couldn’t have asked for something better. According to her, she was just as tired of the guys as you were so it all worked out perfectly.

Then, into the new year, you were sure to inform Gojo that you wanted some time for yourself before you focused on Nanami. Similar to Choso, the man didn’t argue with it and actually insisted you take your time.

Well… just not too much time. There’s no time limit on the list but, there was a clock still ticking, he just hadn’t told you about it. Instead, he hints at it when he tells you to take a few weeks to relax but try to at least seduce Nanami before the school year ends.

You thought this was just him being sarcastic and playful like always so you didn’t think much but, Gojo was actually serious when he said that.

Even so, it’s about time you stopped thinking about him or the list in general. You’ll figure that all out later.

As of right now, you are in the middle of calmly searching for a job again. It’s been months since you looked thoroughly, especially since the money Gojo pays you has been keeping you pretty well occupied. But, with only one person left on the list, Gojo can’t pay you forever.

So, you need to start planning ahead and this is how you do that.

You started by thinking back to what you told Sukuna about being a therapist and wondered if you could actually land a job in a clinic or agency. It’d be fun for you to work with people and their mental health, that’s what brings you joy in terms of your career.

With that, you took hours and days to do your research and you were pleasantly surprised to learn the fact that your current university was offering a pad internship for counseling. And holy hell was that perfect, this is an internship you’d seen earlier on that year but at the time, they had no available programs.

And now, you see the option to apply for it. Of course, you didn’t hesitate to get out a premade application that was constructed for this purpose exactly. But just as you went to go submit said application, you wondered if you should wait.

If you start now, it could interfere with the time you need to seduce Nanami and although you don’t want to think about anything regarding the list, you’re forced to when it’s somewhat time-sensitive.

A sigh leaves you as you think about it and you eventually come to the decision that you’ll just wait. Hopefully, the position stays open and if not, you think you visit an old professor or two and ask for guidance on where to get employment.

They’ve offered it in the past but you just never felt like accepting their advice or assistance to now.

Even so, as you now sit with a plan made out, you think you’re relaxing into your position in life. When you’re not wasting your time thinking about silly men who complicate everything for you, life feels a whole lot simpler.

You have your worries and doubts about things of course but, even with that, worrying about a job is a lot better than trying to figure out if you want Gojo or Choso. The matters of the heart are not for you, hence why you’re a psychology major-- the brain is just so much simpler sometimes.

And emphasis on the sometimes because you can not figure out how the hell Gojo Satoru’s brain works for the life of you but, that’s beside the point. His brain only operates in certain ways because of the swaying his emotions and heart have on him, a lot of which you won’t understand because he’s keeping stuff from you.

You shake all your thoughts of Gojo away. It’s annoying how quickly you find yourself thinking about him or Choso.

And it happened quite often during this little metal break of yours. You find your thoughts drifting to them and your memories with them often. You could be performing the simplest of tasks and all of a sudden you’re remembering how much of an idiot Gojo is when he’s dancing with you or teasing you.

Then your mind alternates right back to Choso any time you do something like watch a movie. Suddenly, you’d be recalling times when he’s asleep on your chest and how relaxed his handsome face is. Or you’d think about the way his eyes light up whenever you say something intelligent and how keen he is on paying attention to what you say.

Damn. Is this what it’s like to fall in love? Is that what this is? Is that why you can’t get them out of your head no matter how hard you try?

Hell, you definitely think of Gojo’s confession to you at least twice a day. You wouldn’t say you prefer his over Choso’s but it was definitely more heartfelt. Even though, you’re pretty sure that was because of the tears.

Or… maybe it wasn’t. Perhaps Gojo’s confession was more heartwrenching because there’s so much more to it. Not to mention, Gojo had a longer time to keep his feelings for you hidden, there was more time for him to marinate and sit inside him until he expressed them.

Whereas Choso only met you a few months ago and by the time he realized he was in love with you, he was already hearing you tell him that you couldn’t be in a relationship with him. That’s why he waits. He wholeheartedly hopes and prays that one day you’ll wake up and reciprocate his feelings.

There are a lot of differences between the two but if there’s one thing that remains the same throughout… it’s the fact that no matter what you say or do, and no matter how hard you try not to, you are steadily falling in love.

The question would then remain; to whom are you falling for? And are they going to catch you when you do?

GOJO SATORU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

GETO SUGURU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢

KAMO CHOSO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢 / 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

ZEN'IN NAOYA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

ITADORI SUKUNA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮???

NANAMI KENTO ☐ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙙

mlist || previous chapt || next chpt

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shadowlali · 8 months

Note

Hii, I love the way you write and was wondering if you could do Philip Graves enemies to lovers to yk what 🤪

the investigator

COD - Phillip Graves x fem!reader

[18+] wc: ~ 3.1k summary: Commander Graves gets help from an investigator. masterlist

warnings: NSFW, implied age gap, Graves being then nice, oral (f! receiving), unprotected sex, some proofreading, no use of Y/N nor too many details on reader’s appearance a/n: thank you for this request anon! i really tried my best on this, writing enemies to lovers was definitely a nice challenge. hopefully f!reader is okay! also, if anyone sends in a request, my writing tends to be around ~2k+ but i can try (keyword: try) to make them shorter :)

You’re a nuisance to him. Intelligent, resourceful, rude, beautiful. You manage to captivate everyone’s attention whenever you step foot onto the Shadow Company base. You’re kind, too. Always smiling and talking with the other soldiers, showing genuine interest in their conversations.

Until you eventually have to face him. Your demeanor changes, the smile drops from your face and forced formalities leave your lips. Everytime you say “Commander” or “Sir”, Phillip can swear on his life that you’re being sarcastic, a tiny smirk always present on your lips. Phillip hates the effect you had on him. It would be so much easier to write off your existence from his mind, but the way you look and the pull of your hypnotic voice reels him in.

Only in moments like these, when outside help for the Shadow Company is absolutely necessary do you receive the call. You’re an entrepreneur of sorts. Your main talents being investigative and tech work. Shadow Company is one of your least favorite clients, especially since Commander Phillip Graves is always present in the meetings. You aren’t used to speaking to CEOs or Commanders, usually the mission leaders will reach out and take point from there.

Phillip Graves is handsome with a voice like warm honey, able to dazzle and woo anyone who speaks to him. His soldiers are loyal to their leader, Phillip, having earned their respect. Despite this, he irritates you. The way he speaks to you is as if he’s speaking to a child, ignoring the countless accomplishments in your work. You also don’t like the feelings he stirs up.

You were a little dazed the first time you met Commander Phillip Graves, his tactical pants and shirt stretched over his body emphasizing every ripple of hard muscle. It was the look he gave, the one you’d seen many times before as someone young in this industry. Doubt.

“How old are you?” Was the first thing out of his mouth after introductions.

“I’m–”

Phillip interrupted you,“ You haven’t been doing this for long, have you?”

“No, I haven’t. But I’ve had much success in my work. I’m confident enough that I can find whatever you need.”

Phillip hummed, turning to look at his second in command.

Your smile dropped, annoyed at this point at having woken up early and gone against your code of getting into cars with unknown men. Blackout, thick glasses had been placed over your eyes as you approached the base to prevent you from knowing exactly where they were located. They sought after you for your services, not the other way around. Therefore, you were a little offended at the comments and insinuations made by Commander Graves.

“If you don’t believe me, that’s okay. You can find someone else to do it. Who can take me back to my apartment?” You asked, slowly stepping towards the black SUV that had picked you up.

Phillip’s head whipped towards you, stunned at your tone of voice. Never in his years as Commander and CEO had anyone disrespected him, much less in the presence of his top men. He opened his mouth, ready to let you know exactly who was in charge and who gave orders around here before his second-in-command cut him off.

“What he means by that is we are just a little surprised that someone so young can do this job. We’re a little on edge but we’d like for you to provide us some intel.”

You decided to stay, they agreed to your going rate and you didn’t need to speak to Graves for the rest of your time there. He’d pass by the conference room temporarily given to you and give a short glance before looking away. It only took you four days to find everything they needed, the intel legit and his men left impressed by your work. Graves congratulated your work, his body stiff as if he still couldn’t believe it.

You felt smug at being able to prove him wrong, the newly deposited six-figures in your bank account making you especially happy. They didn’t provide you with company secrets, but you knew how desperate the situation was for them to have reached out. Shadow Company reached out a few more times after the first, always willing to pay whatever price for your skills.

Currently, you sit across from Commander Phillip Graves in his office, having been rushed in here the moment you exited the SUV. He’d been sitting at his desk, eyebrows scrunched in concentration when you walked in. Graves looks up, his eyes doing a quick sweep over your body. You choose to ignore the warm feeling it gives you and sit down at one of the empty chairs in front of him. Phillip tries to even out his breathing, having enough on his plate already to be distracted by your pretty face.

Graves runs a hand through his hair before speaking, “I’m… I’m glad you're here. This is urgent.”

He slides a thin folder across the desk before he begins to speak, “This is the profile we have on –”

“I’m sorry, this is it? Four pages? I thought you had more on this guy?”

“I thought you were able to find anyone and anything? Isn’t that your whole business model? With the money I’m paying you, you should be grateful I have more than just his name,” Graves snaps.

“For a company who prides themselves on being the best PMC out there because of how they ‘get shit done’ it's concerning that your staff has only four pages on him after months of research and tracking.”

Phillip stares at you, once again remembering why he finds you so insolent. You quickly scan the pages while completely disregarding him. Shadow Company has been tracking a suspect for months, ready to intercept the moment he tried to sell his merchandise. Using finger quotes to speak to a Commander is unacceptable, and only someone like you would do that. He decides to continue, ignoring your words.

“Like I was saying, this is what we have so far. We believe he might’ve been tipped off about our surveillance. He’s dangerous and we need to find him quickly.”

“I’ll see what I can find, I have some contacts who I can reach out to. I’ll be honest, I need about a week –”

“You have 4 days.”

You give him an annoyed glance before standing up and saying “yes sir.” You’re then led to the same conference room as before and get to work. A few of the employees on the mission check in on you periodically, providing you with any extra information they find.

You reach out to your contacts and have some good leads on where this guy is. Graves comes in on the second day, a few minutes after you arrive from the on-site room they provided. You decide to offer an olive branch.

“Good morning, sir. Did you want a recap of what I’ve found so far?”

He says nothing, pulling out a chair opposite of yours. Your eyes are going to get stuck in the back of your head with the amount of times you’ve rolled them whenever in his presence.

He fixes you with a stare,“ You know I looked into your other contracts, everyone says what a ‘pleasure’ you are to work with.”

You lift an eyebrow with his statement, trying not to laugh at his use of finger quotes which is probably punishment for your actions yesterday. You can’t help yourself, you like pushing his buttons.

“You spent time researching me instead of, oh I don’t know, trying to find the guy your people lost?”

Phillip watches you type away at your laptop, his mind reeling with a million thoughts, none of them focused on the suspect. He tries not to concentrate on how good you smell or how much he likes the mischievous twinkle in your eyes whenever you look at him. Phillip stands up, not liking the direction of his thoughts. You’re here to do a job, and the less time he spends with you, the better.

“Focus on the job, I want my money’s worth.”

It takes you 3 days to find him, and you’re damn proud of it. The suspect had been laying low on a small boat off the coast and the Shadows were able to pose as buyers to intercept him. You stand in Graves’ office as his second-in-command once again thanks you for your efforts before leaving you two alone. Your bags are packed and a car is waiting for you on the ground floor. Phillip stands and rounds the corner from his desk. He has a pensive look on his face when he addresses you.

“You should have received the deposit to your bank account by now.”

“About that –”

“Let me finish.” He pauses before taking a deep breath, “It was a few more than your going rate. It's my way of apologizing for how I’ve treated you.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. You thought the extra money had been a thank you for completing the job early, not for an apology.

“This job, this industry it… It takes a toll on you. That's not an excuse for how often I doubted you. You shouldn’t be spoken to in that way, whether you complete a job or not.”

The look in Graves’ eyes seems sincere. You’re used to working with demanding people, it’s just a fact of life. Yet, it isn’t often when people like him apologize.

“I forget that everyone is just trying to make it in this world and you don’t need some old guy making it harder for you. I’m sorry.”

You laugh, ”You’re not that old. And… I accept your apology.”

Phillip never thought he’d get turned on by the sound of your laugh, but it happens. His pants tighten once he hears the melodic tone of your laugh and the sight of your genuine smile directed towards him. He smiles, stretching out his hand to shake yours. You suck in a shaky breath, his eyes are bright and the fangs at the edge of his smile give you impure thoughts. His hand is warm and firm against your own. You feel tingles shoot up your arm as he gently shakes it.

“I guess I should go now.”

He doesn’t let go of your hand, moving his thumb across your knuckles.

“Yea, you probably should.”

You’re not sure who lunges first. One moment you’re both an appropriate distance apart, the next his hands have pulled you in at the waist while your hands tug at his soft hair, his lips pressed against your own. Graves’ gives hungry kisses, biting or tugging at your lips.

He moans when you give a hard tug on his hair, digging his hands into your lower back. Graves turns you both around while never breaking the kiss, clumsily walking you towards his desk. He unbuttons your jeans and pushes them down along with your soaked panties, pushing your hands away as you try to unbuckle his belt.

“No, not yet,” he says while breaking this kiss.

You kick off your shoes and shimmy the rest of the way out of your bottoms. Graves grabs the end of your shirt and drags it over your head. Your bra follows soon after and you’re left completely naked in his office. He steps back to admire you, a hand dragging from your collarbones down to pinch each nipple, then to your clenched tummy until he drags a finger up and down your wet seam.

“Sit on the desk,” he orders.

“Yes, Commander.”

He groans as you sit on the desk and spread your legs, palming the hard bulge in his pants. Graves steps between your open thighs and pushes lightly at your chest. You get the hint and lie flat on your back.

He kneels down and runs the tip of his tongue from your swollen clit to your slick opening. Graves’ hands are firm on your thighs to keep them open as he starts with strong strokes of his tongue against your seam. You grip the edge of the desk, whines falling from your lips.

“So wet and sweet for your Commander, right baby? Seems like the only way to shut you up is by licking this pretty pussy.”

Graves slips a finger in your opening while latching onto your sensitive button. Phillip can’t believe how velvety and soft you are around his fingers. Your walls pulse with each thrust of his fingers, feeling each squeeze travel to his hard cock.

Phillip wants to be gentle with you, he wants to learn and explore every inch of your body with his tongue, hands, and eyes. He wants to know what makes those pretty whimpers escape your throat, what makes you nice and creamy for him. Your hips can’t stop twisting against his tongue and fingers. Graves laughs against your pussy.

“Needy girl, aren’t you.”

“Yes, yes, yes.”

Phillip makes his tongue rigid and attacks your clit with harsh licks. He loves how quick you are to grip and pull his hair. The noises throughout the office are obscene, his moans mingling with yours along with the wet squelch of his fingers in your pussy. Graves uses his free hand to move your grip from his hair, leaning back to take a look at the gorgeous sight before him.

He stops the thrusts of his fingers to land slaps on your swollen, glistening pussy. You yelp from the sting, each slap landing directly on your clit. He plunges his fingers back in, finding the spongy spot inside of you with a curl of his two fingers.

“Come on baby, give your Commander what he wants.”

You can’t take it anymore. Your back arches on the desk and your mouth falls open in a scream. Your vision goes blurry, the hot pleasure beginning in your core until it spreads throughout your entire body. Your tummy clenches from the orgasm and you squeeze down on his fingers.

Phillip lets out a husky moan while licking your clit as your walls flutter around the thrust of his fingers, the taste of your slick etching into his mind. He slows his movements and finally stops, letting your thighs close from the overstimulation. Phillip stands and brings his fingers up to his mouth to suck off your juices from his fingers.

“So sweet for such a rude girl.”

Phillip drags his pants down, only moving his briefs to rest below his heavy balls. He removed\s his shirt and throws it to the closest chair. Phillip wants to feel your naked skin on his own. He hooks your leg around his waist and slaps your ass to get your attention again. You lie on the desk with your eyes half closed, trying to regain your senses and feeling in your limp body.

Graves drags the tip of his hard cock up and down your wet pussy. He can’t resist thrusting against your wet folds, your pussy opening for him like flower petals. You feel extremely empty at that moment. You want Graves to fill you up and stretch you. Your hips move in small circles, feeling the underside of his cock slide against your heat.

“Please Commander, please, please. I want you inside of me.”

Phillip hums, ”I don’t know. You’ve been so naughty all this time. Do bad girls who disrespect their Commander deserve this?” He takes that moment to plunge only the tip in before dragging it out to spread your folds.

You’re close to tears at this point, your nails digging into his hard back trying to push him into you.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you babble, ”just please fuck me, Commander.”

You have nothing to apologize for, Phillip just wants to tease you and have you begging for his cock. He takes that moment to push in the thick tip and give a deep plunge inside. You’re hot and creamy and soft and all around him, Phillip almost collapsing from the pleasure. You’re left speechless for the first time in your life, your mouth dropping open in a silent scream as you feel stretched to your limit.

Phillip slowly slides out and watches your inner lips grip his cock, your body not wanting him to leave. He slowly pushes in and out to familiarize himself with your tight heat. You begin to drag your nails up and down his lower back as Graves moves a hand to grip your thigh and another to roughly squeeze your tit.

“How’s that baby? You like it?”

“So good, sir. So fucking good.”

You can barely form a thought, but manage to whimper out a response. His thrusts speed up, sweet words falling from his lips with each squeeze and pulse of your pussy. Graves calls you a naughty girl or tells you how exquisite you feel around him. He leans over to place kisses along your forehead, nose, cheeks, and lips. You suck and bite his bottom lip when one particular thrust hits your g-spot perfectly.

Phillip wants more. He speeds up his thrusts and moves your thigh with both hands to plunge in deeper. The new position makes you see stars. He manages to thrust into the hilt and drag his tip against the spongy spot inside of you with each slide. Phillip can feel his orgasm approaching. His thrusts become sloppy and his grip on your thigh becomes tighter.

“Nothing to say to me now, huh?”

You really don’t. Your mind is only focused on how full you are and how you never want it to end. Phillip turns to look down and fixes his gaze on his cock hammering into your swollen pussy. He begins swiping his thumb over your clit, wanting to give you one more orgasm as he quickly nears his own.

Once again you feel an orgasm wash over you and your eyes roll to the back of your head. Phillip gives another thrust and his heavy balls pulse as he shoots thick ropes of cum inside your already stuffed pussy. His breath stutters in his throat and he grips your thighs. Graves collapses on top of you, his hips continuing with short, rough movements.

Both of your bodies are slick with perspiration. You stroke light fingers along his back and through his hair as you both regain control of your breathing. He peppers kisses along your neck and up to your lips.

“Guess I should let the driver know it’ll be a while until you leave, right?”

You let out a soft giggle, ”I think that’ll be a good idea, Commander.”

“Call me Phillip.”

You reach to caress the muscles on his chest as he slowly stands to full height again, moaning as he hardens in you again.

#phillip graves x reader #phillip graves x female reader #phillip graves smut #cod x reader #cod mw2 #phillip graves #cod mw2 smut #graves x reader #graves x you #shadowlali

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your-local-hoemie · 9 months

Note

I've genuinely never put in a request for something before so ur the first T.T

I was wondering, what would happen if you just wandered into scaramouche's room?

Im sorry if this is oddly specific, but I was hoping for a NS!FW M4M, possibly with Balladeer instead of wanderer, and if you do this thank you so much :))

NS!FW. 18+ ONLY!!!

OF COURSE!!!! Thank you for asking!!!!

You’ll have to forgive me if it’s not great. Even though I edge more towards masc im still not 100% sure how dudes work djdhdu

Also good lord, I went kind hard (hah) with this one, my cheeks were gLOWING while writing this. I’m never seeing heaven istg 💀

Edit: I accidentally went a little off script because I got extremely flustered so I’m sorry T-T

Warnings: ns!fw, dom!scaramouche (he needs his own warning), mild degradation, mean words, bratty behaviour, smug little shittery, lots of spicy words, swearing, male!reader, not proof-read.

Characters: scaramouche as: The ✨Balladeer✨

Scaramouche and you had a weird relationship.

No one knew whether you hated each other or if you were actually close.

Including you-

Sometimes you’d be at each other throat with any sharp object you could find and then the next, you’d be defending the other for whatever morally questionable crimes you had committed.

You happened to be one of the unfortunate fatui members that had been assigned to Scaramouche.

You don’t really know how he didn’t decide to murder you for your instinctive comebacks whenever he’d insult you.

He’s never admit it but he enjoyed having someone to banter with that wouldn’t immediately shit themselves the second he glanced at them.

Which is why you were now in his office for…

Well you didn’t really know.

He was busy doing paperwork that he was making extremely obvious that he hated every second of.

You were sitting in a chair across the room from him, equally as bored.

“So what exactly do you need me for… sir”

“To sit there and shut up.”

“…why?”

Letting out a sigh, Scara rolling his eyes, waving your questions off.

“You know, I’m supposed to be doing work. Going out, getting information, torturing, stealing, all the good stuff. Not sit in a room with a pouty brat-”

Clearing your throat, you suddenly realise what you had done.

Oh shit-

With a glare more threatening than a cryo mage in the rain. Scara placed his pen neatly down on the table, carefully organising the papers in front of him with sly grin.

Double shit-

“You know, you do a lot of talking for someone who can’t even handle to be alone in a room with their boss for more than an hour”

“Yeah well you’re not really the most enjoyable to be around…boss.”

The balladeers grin became even more sly as I pushed the chair away from his desk, standing up and taking a few steps forward, positioning himself right in front of you.

“I’ve had a very stressful day and I think I could use a little worshiping. Why don’t you use that mouth for something other than pathetic remarks, hm~?”

“Excuse me-?”

Without a hint of hesitation or shame, the harbinger placed his hand on your head. Most likely relishing the feeling of actually being taller than someone for once.

“Don’t act like our… banter doesn’t get you hard. I’ve seen the way you squirm when I get a little too close~”

Scaramouche pressed your head close to his crotch, speaking with a tone laced in sly smugness.

“I know you’ve imagined what I could do to you. I bet you even stroke yourself to the thought of me. Having the hand of a deity stroke you~”

Obviously he was right. Which just annoyed you even more, causing your pride to outweigh the sheer embarrassment coursing through your veins at his lewd words.

“You know how much shit you’d be in if I told anyone about this, right?

Scaramouche frowned at your remark, swiftly taking your chin in his hand and forcing you to look up at him.

“If a word of this leaves your mouth to anyone other than me, I will make you wish that I killed you. Understand me?”

Feeling your words catch in your throat, you give him a irritated nod, unable to fully deny how hot the whole situation was becoming.

“Good. Now, be a good for your god and worship me the way I deserve.”

Smirking down at you, Scara unbuttoned his shorts, letting his already hard dick bounce out against your face, making him sigh out in satisfaction.

“I always thought you looked so much better on your knee’s~ now suck.”

Blushing violently and not even able to deny how turned on you were, you locked eyes with The Balladeer and took him inside your mouth.

“Good boy~ just like that..”

Petting your hair with a surprising amount of gentleness, Scara pushed your head back and fourth, making you gag as his tip hits the back of your throat.

“Why don’t you touch yourself for me like the desperate, horny slut you are~”

Letting out a small, muffled whimper, you knew you were completely at his mercy as you couldn’t help but move your hand down, touching yourself as he commanded.

Scara thrust his hips more intensely, picking up his speed as moans and grunts escape his lips causing you to match his speed with your hand.

Feeling his hand grip tighter on your head, with one finally thrust and a loud groan of pleasure, scara finally released himself down your throat, pushing you over the edge as you coat your hand and pants in your load.

“Mmh! You’re such a good fuck toy,m. Now make sure to clean up the mess m’kay?”

Pulling out, leaving a messy string of saliva mixed with his load; Scara took a deep breath and returned to his paperwork like nothing happened, leaving you panting and and mess on the floor, still somewhat dazed.

“Y-yes…sir…”

HSIDUDICUIDJDIVUDO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

squeaks 👺👨‍🦽👹🧍

#genshin impact #genshin #genshin imagines #genshin boyfriend scenarios #genshin drabbles #genshin impact smut #genshin smut #genshin scaramouche #genshin impact scaramouche #the balladeer #scaramouche smut #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x male reader #I’m squealing and dying and blushing and rolling around and wiggling my legs #genshin x male reader

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fixing-bad-posts · 2 months

Note

Heya, I really really hope this doesn't come off as particularly rude, but I was wondering, why would bisexual women be considered lesbians sometimes and I think you also brought up transgender men and genderqueer ppl? For bisexual women, I just am kinda confused, they can be in lesbian relationships and lesbian spaces, but just describing them as lesbians seems kinda confusing because lesbian denotes specifically sapphic attraction at least from where I've always heard it, so wouldn't it be kinda confusing. And for the genderqueer folks or trans folks, wouldn't that just bring their genders closer to feminine and at least from what I've heard from some pple I know, they don't like non binary being seen as more womanly (I've heard it being described as woman-lite before annoying) and instead seen as a more inbetween which it sometimes isn't, because of bigotry and other things since nbs can be both fem or masc or androgynous, but wouldn't non woman lesbians kinda push it to be seen as kinda more fem or that person as more fem? I don't know and frankly I'm just kinda confused. I'm really really sorry that this probably comes off as super rude and I hope you forgive me. I frankly just want to learn a little more and have been reading up but wanted to know what you thought. And I just realized how long this was, so so sorry

hello anon! these days, i usually don’t answer asks like these because i’ve already done so several times, but you seem very well-meaning and confused, so i’ll do my best to help. first of all, please check my faq for resources and links about mspec labels and bi lesbians.

second of all—generally—here is my advice for when you encounter a queer label that confuses you:

1) literally just ignore it until you...

2) meet someone in your life who uses that label, at which point you might (respectfully) ask them what using that label means to them specifically, and why it’s important. i’ve done this in real life. the script is something like,

“it’s really cool to get to talk to someone in real life about this stuff—if i may ask, what does identifying as [insert label] mean to you, personally?”

you might also say,

“i’ve never met someone who identifies with [their label] before. would you mind giving me some pointers on the important things to keep in mind in order to respect your identity/make sure you feel respected by me?”

i’ve also never asked anyone to correct me if i mess up and say something rude, but i’m working on the confidence and charisma to be able to say that, because i owe that to others.

all of that said, i wanted to respond to some of your specific questions, and clarify a couple of things below the cut. to clarify:

1. “describing [bisexual women] as lesbians seems kinda confusing because lesbian denotes specifically sapphic attraction”. to be clear i am not the one describing bisexual women as lesbians, in this hypothetical situation. when i post about bi-lesbians, i am posting in support of people who—for whatever reason—chose that label for themselves. what i am not doing: advocating to redefine the classically understood definition of lesbian for the entire populous.

2. “wouldn’t it be kinda confusing”? yes! i understand it can be confusing, and i commend you for expressing your confusion instead of reacting in disgust or anger. there are so many things in the queer community that are confusing, even to me, and you don’t need to feel guilty for asking questions as long as you come from a place of genuine curiosity. being confused isn’t bad, and defining yourself in a way that confuses others is, likewise, no transgression.

3. “for the genderqueer folks or trans folks, wouldn’t [identifying as a lesbian] just bring their genders closer to feminine […] wouldn’t non woman lesbians […] be seen as kinda more fem”? the answer is: sort of. it depends entirely on how and why the person using this label came to these words. you wrote, “i’ve heard from some pple i know, they don’t like non binary being seen as more womanly”, and i have definitely also heard that! so, for people who feel that way, they probably wouldn’t want a label that evokes womanhood and/or aligns them with femininity assigned to them. but every person is different—so for some nonbinary people, they absolutely do not want to be seen as “woman-lite”, whereas for other nonbinary people, they might want to be seen closer to femme than masc, while still nonbinary. this goes back to what i said at the beginning: best practice is to ask the people in your life how they want you to respect them.

closing thoughts: i hope this clarified some things, but i understand that the topic may still be confusing—feel free to message me if you want a non-judgmental queer to talk things through with. i promise i’ll take you in good faith <3

#ask fbp #anon ask

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giac222 · 3 months

Text

I have to be honest, the Reddit TCOAAL community has some of the worst takes on the game I’ve ever seen. 💀 I kind of talked about this already in a previous post I’ve made on here. That’s why I like the Tumblr community sooo much more.

This post will probably be kind of long and messy, so sorry in advance. Anyway, let’s get into it.

Here’s a screenshot of the comment that inspired this post. 😂

This was in response to someone’s post about the vision in the questionable route. After seeing Andrew’s relationship with Julia and how little he cared about her, I don’t know how anyone could think he’d be able to have a normal/healthy romantic relationship with someone. I’ve literally seen people make excuses for him defending Ashley the way he did in the flashback with Julia while she was raising genuine concern. I saw someone say “well Ashley had him by the balls, if he said anything else he would have been screwed.” like be serious, he defended Ashley because he wanted to and has always cared about her more. I mean he literally lied to Julia’s face about Nina’s death, her best friend. 😬

This is what bothers me, when people act like Ashley is solely the problem and that Andrew did nothing wrong at all. Let’s be real, Andrew is the one driving Ashley’s worst behavior. He blames her for “making” him do things. He obviously can’t be guilty, so he needs something from the outside to blame (Ashley). As I’ve said in my previous analysis, they are both flawed individuals, they are the same. They are both toxic but they do really love each other.

Despite what these people say, Ashley is the love of Andrew’s life. He would never just leave her in the dust even if she doesn’t sleep with him. Mind you the two of them have never slept together and you can still see how devoted Andrew is to her, even if Ashley herself doesn’t see it yet.

This is literally how he looked at her when she woke up after he thought he was going to have to take her to the hospital 🥺. I don’t want to hear any nonsense about him ditching Ashley or how he should leave her for good. 💀

In the Decay route vision when Ashley lets him kill her, he says “then I’ll see you in a bit.” Meaning that he’s going to follow her in death. Andrew wouldn’t want to live without her. Anyone who’s played the game knows one can’t live without the other, period. We know that they have a toxic codependent relationship, but it’s not only that way because of Ashley. It’s very annoying to see people act like it is. It’s literally both of them that contribute to it.

Are people just casually forgetting that even back when they were kids the game shows us that Andrew didn’t really care about Nina’s death, he was mostly worried about the consequences they would face if they got caught. Plus him grabbing Ashley and saying “guys and girls don’t go to the same prison, they’re going to take you away from me!!”. Also, before their blood oath Andrew literally contemplates if killing her would be worth it like hello??

In the game after Andrew brings up how their parents had friends, Ashley calls their parents whores and asks why they couldn’t be happy with just each other. He then responds by saying he never implied that they had sex, which causes her to say that it doesn’t matter and that it’s all the same. Ashley doesn’t see a difference between platonic and romantic love, to her it’s all the same. So yes, technically she does want romantic love from Andrew, she just wants his love period. In Decay when they’re on the bridge at the end of ch.2, she says something along the lines of “I’ll start when you love me with half of the heart that I love you with.” To say she only wants his attention and not his love is a damn lie. 💀

Anyway, when it comes to Ashley’s reaction to the vision in the questionable route, I didn’t see her as confused. To me it seems like she wasn’t expecting to see that as a vision, but at the same time she’s not really surprised. I mean she literally tells Andrew she assumed it would happen between them eventually anyway, so she’s definitely thought about it before. Earlier on when he gets her the Toxi Soda she asks him “What do you want in return? My virginity?” 😂 obviously she could just be joking there and nothing more but 👀… girl. LOL

Andrew’s reaction to the vision shows that he also wasn’t expecting it, except he was blushing harddd. He reacted the way he did because his thoughts just got exposed. The demon really said:

👁️ Andrew Graves I know what you are 👁️ lmao.

I think it’s fair to say that sex isn’t a big deal to Ashley, if her and Andrew never slept together I don’t think she’d really care, she also views sex as transactional. We see that in the questionable Burial route she thinks “the demon showed me one way to keep him around.” I’ve seen people on Reddit try to use this as a way to show that Ashley would never sleep with him out of love, and that she’d just do it so he’ll stick beside her, basically implying that she doesn’t actually love him….. 🤦🏻‍♀️ As I’ve mentioned already, sex isn’t a big deal to Ashley and she views it as transactional. However, her views on sex might change after her and Andrew fully cross the line. I hope what I’m saying makes sense. That maybe she’ll start seeing it as something out of love instead of something she has to do in order to keep him in her life, especially once she realizes that he loves her just as much as she loves him, and that he will always stick beside her.

I mean look at the way she’s looking at him in the vision. 😭

That is a look of pure love fr.

I talked about this in my last analysis, but people who act like Ashley is the big bad villain and that Andrew is an angel who’s done no wrong are just in denial, and dare I say misogynistic. 😶 I mean to go as far as implying that she doesn’t actually love Andrew…. be serious right now, you have officially lost the plot 💀 like that boy is literally the center of her world and she’s terrified of losing him. As she said herself, he’s her pride and joy. These people sound like those Breaking Bad fans that act like Skyler White is worse than Walter.

Most of these awful takes about the game stem from Reddit, then again Reddit is a total cesspool on it’s own. If people on the game’s subreddit aren’t sexualizing the shit out of Ashley (the things they say never fail to make me die of cringe), they’re blaming her for everything bad in the game. 🤦🏻‍♀️ ughhh.

I have such a soft spot for Ashley as a character, especially after seeing how she’s always been treated terribly by everyone around her except for Andrew. Also because of her very poor self esteem and how it’s hard for her to believe that she’s lovable, like I’m sick rn. 🥲🥲 So, I hate how people are sooo weird about her, like leave my girl alone please. 😭

I feel like this post was all over the place oops. Thank you for reading. ❤️

Also, thank you to everyone for all the notes on my previous analysis post about TCOAAL. ☺️ I’m glad you guys agree with me!

#tcoaal #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew x ashley #ashley x andrew #leyley x andy #andy x leyley #leyley graves #andy graves #ashley graves #andrew graves #coffincest #gravecest #nemlei #kit9 #kind of a rant post

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bsd-fan · 1 year

Text

Dazai osamu: Evolution

In a lot of ways this is where my Dazai analysis will really start, this is going to be insanely long so be prepared. It also has spoilers of the manga, anime, and most of the light novels.

I’ve talked about how is a mistake to measure Dazai’s character growth in terms of morality, because that has never been the main point of his characterization. Being a “good” or a “Bad” person is not as important as the fandom makes it to be. Dazai is unapologetically a morally grey character and he will always be. However, this doesn’t mean that Dazai hasn’t changed.

He has and it goes far beyond him changing into a boring trench coat and calling himself a detective. He has changed so fundamentally speaking that I’d go and say that right now is the most developed character in this area and the thing that make this even more surprising is that his character growth has not finished yet. He keeps evolving.

To understand this let’s start analyzing him chronologically:

Fifteen year old Dazai is probably the lowest we’ve ever seen Dazai. Starting fifteen, Dazai is showed to us as someone who genuinely wants to die, he is /not/ attempting suicide as a joke, is not a comedic relief. Fifteen year old Dazai wants to die with a desperation that borders on madness. He is so tired of living, so bored of life and the people that surround him, about how predictable they are, about how easy is to manipulate them, there’s not a thing in this world that can surprise him, he is living in this permanent state of numbness. He is completely lonely in a world that will never be able to understand him. And let me make a pause to talk about the fact that it has been /heavily/ implied that Dazai was living in this situation for a long time. People loves to blame Mori for Dazai’s personality but this is simply and canonically speaking not true.

Dazai has already formed most of his worse personality traits by the time Mori found him. Let me remind you that they met when Mori saved Dazai’s life /after/ he attempted suicide at fourteen. Fandom loves to act as Dazai was a perfectly healthy kid that Mori ruined when that’s not true. Mori made it worse, yes. But he wasn’t the cause of it.

“Miscalculation.

You misjudged the situation, he told himself. You failed to pick the optimal solution. You shouldn’t have chosen this child to help you. Dazai is unpredictable. He can be sharp but in a dark, twisted way. He’s observant. He’s cold and calculating with no equivalent even in the mafia, where the most evil reside”- Mori about Dazai, ligh novel fifteen.

I will talk about this more depth in another essay about Soukoku and the mafia but this is important to aknowledge. Dazai was like this even /before/ Mori’s influence, Mori was scared of him even when Dazai was just a child because he saw how deeply disconnected from his humanity he was. How cruel, cold and calculating he could be.

So going back to the main idea, at this point of the story, Dazai is already numb, manipulative, and machiavellian, he doesn’t trust in anyone and his only real connection is with Mori that looks at him like a convenient weapon to wield. But the most important trait of Dazai at this age? Is how deeply apathetic Dazai is to everything. At this stage of life Dazai lives in a pure nihilism, he doesn’t believe in /anything/, he conceives life as completely meaningless, he doesn’t see a point in existing when there’s no a reason for it. It’s so bad that it’s funny. Mori knows about the /raw/ potential in Dazai, about how valuable he can be as a tool but he can’t use him because Dazai is so unmotivated that he simply doesn’t give a damn about anything. He is a genius and he only uses his intellect to try to kill himself. He can’t be bothered with anything else, even breathing is an annoying task and a waste of effort and then…this happens:

I’m not pointing this out as a soukoku shipper because this is not even a soukoku analysis, this is all about Dazai. People will always talk about Fifteen importance for chuuya, but fifteen was also fundamental in Dazai’s arc.

Cold and apathetic Dazai was literally kicked in the face by his biggest narrative foil. Chuuya who is loud, and ridiculously emotional, who can’t for the life of him hide his expressions, who is a terrible liar, impulsive, pathologically loyal to the point of idiocy, and so fucking full of vitality, so hungry for life. And so /unbearable human/. And then Dazai gets annoyed, and surprised, and out of nowhere he is screaming at the top of his lungs, showing /emotion/, he is curious, he is intrigued. He went from saying that breathing is such a hassle to fucking throwing a party and singing happily while he, in person, decorates, he even got a cake for fuck’s sake.

He doesn’t understand chuuya, he is curious about the sheep dynamics and as the story progresses we realize that this is probably the first time that Dazai fucks up, he failed to predict a situation, he didn’t saw it coming.

He wasn’t able to realize that Chuuya was Arahabaki, he didn’t even thought about that possibility. Because since the first moment, he never thought that chuuya could be something else than human. He didn’t saw Rimbaud coming because the idea of a person going that far for someone else? Is ridiculous, it doesn’t make sense, is illogical. It’s not how people are supposed to act.

“-So it’s all for your partner-Dazai said listlessly- Betraying the mafia, spreading rumors about the old boss’s resurrection, this fight we’re in now…it’s kind of hard to believe, to be honest

-Maybe for a slimeball like you it is- Chuuya scoffed. He looked up at Randou- Throwing everything away for your friends is a perfectly respectable reason to risk your life if you ask me”- Dazai and chuuya, fifteen years old. (Pause to scream about how much I love chuuya, help)

So basically every thing that happened in fifteen leads to this:

And this guys, is one of the angular stones in Dazai’s development.

“The boy’s eyes were as clear as the sky on a sunny day; they lacked any shred of trepidation. This was not something earned, for only those determined to live could possess their heavenly blue sparkle”- about Dazai, fifteen.

This is the /only/ moment in the entirety of the series where Dazai not only doesn’t want to die, but that he /actively/ is looking towards life. The only moment in all bsd, Dazai is excited at the perspective of living. Fifteen is so important because this is the first time, Dazai’s view of life is challenged. Dazai was wrong. He made mistakes. People are not as predictable and boring as he thought. Dazai doesn’t suddenly start thinking that life has meaning, but he starts thinking that it /may/ exist, he just hasn’t found it yet.

This scene makes a radical switch in Dazai’s character because his primary goal changed from wanting to die to finding a reason to live.

In fifteen Dazai found hope, and everything that came after is possible because of this.

And it’s logical to an extent. He doesn’t understand life, but maybe if he understands death he can come closer to understand it. People always lie but when they are about to die? People become genuine, pretensions disappear, what do you cling to when you don’t have anything? When you’re dying, why do you keep fighting? If he can understand this, then maybe he can understand the sense in life. Maybe he can connect with his own desires and emotions. Maybe he can find his own reason to exist.

Unfortunately this doesn’t last.

By stormbringer, Dazai falls into despair once again, he goes back to looking for his death.

“Dazai glanced back at him, perhaps amused by this, then he muttered as if he was talking to himself. -I couldn’t find anything in the end’- Dazai osamu, stormbringer

“It seems true that he wants to die. It seems that all the value standards of living reflected in his eyes are just as worthless and ugly as scrap iron”- Oda about Dazai, The day I picked up Dazai osamu side A, translated by poppopretty

For a long time, I thought that was the culmination of Dazai’s development as a character. He went from wanting to die to trying to find a reason to live, he struggles but he is trying.

I was wrong.

Chuuya solves his main conflict in stormbringer, Dazai doesn’t. To understand this, we need to understand that one the main themes in Bungou stray dogs is existentialism.

In simple (extremely simple) words existentialism can be defined as: “ the philosophical belief we are each responsible for creating purpose or meaning in our own lives”. Which means that in a way existentialism also understands that life can be meaningless, that maybe there’s not a big purpose in existence BUT that doesn’t have to mean that it has to stay that way. Existentialism defends that people can find their own purpose and maybe is not something big, it may be not life changing for others, but is something people cling to and that’s enough to give sense to the world. I will be talking more in depth about this in chuuya’s analysis but right now the important thing is to understand that this is not enough for Dazai.

He /needs/ a bigger purpose, a better answer, something objective and logical, something that can’t be debated. Because if it’s not, then Dazai’s genius mind will pick on that and he will once again be drown in desperation. Dazai needs an absolute answer.

Enter oda, the catalyst of Dazai’s next biggest arc as a character. But first let’s understand sixteen year old Dazai’s perspective of live, shall we?

“- you said it is foolish to die, right? So here is my question. If dying is foolish, then why do we have to die?

(…)

-So, you mean life is not something to regret?

-No, it is worse than that. Even though we are all promised death, from the beginning, all human beings were born with a present desire called “I don’t want to die”. This is also one hundred percent true. That is why, that desire will never be fulfilled”- The day I picked up Dazai Osamu, transplanted by poppypretty

So, to summarize Dazai can’t understand what’s the point in living if by the end there’s no real point in it. There’s nothing there, there’s not a reason to suffer so much because that’s what he is doing. He is suffering. He is all alone, feeling like an alien in a world of humans, just using a mask and trying to hide how really inhuman and empty he is behind all of that and for what? The world is senseless. Worse than that, there are not a lot of things he cares about but when he finds something worth preserving, he loses it. Dazai is in a horrible situation because his intelligence alienates him and isolates him from other people but it’s not enough to win against the senseless of life. He lives at edge, trying to predict and control everything to protect himself and the things important to him, he purposefully goes along with the alienation and isolates himself more thus going farther from his humanity, and at the end is worthless. Because it doesn’t matter how intelligent he is, is still not enough, he will never be able to control everything, he will never be able to predict everything with 100% of accuracy because life doesn’t work in that way, is all about chaos. And Dazai can’t deal with that.

Time passes, by eighteen years old, Dazai in a lot of ways gets worse. He is the “Demon prodigy” destructive, cruel, a master in torture and his mental state continues to get worse and worse but funnily enough he is still standing and that’s thanks to two things:

1) the hope he found at fifteen and never let him. Yes, Dazai goes back to wanting to die because life sometimes becomes unbearable but his goal is still to find a reason to live. And that didn’t changed.

2) his friends. Odasaku, Ango and Lupin bar are important things for Dazai. He is still lonely but it’s a little better

Then everything goes to shit.

But I want you to understand this. After Oda decides to die, Dazai tries to stop him and this is what he says:

“-Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something…Hey Odasaku, do you know why I joined the mafia? (…) I joined the mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence-close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…I would be able to find something-a reason to live”- Dazai Osamu, Dark era.

This is frankly tragic, because just as I said in previous analysis. Dazai’s worse trait, the real cause of all his suffering is his complete lack of self awareness. His main problem is not his lack of understanding of life, is the lack of understanding of himself. He thinks that understanding human at their most basic, desperate state will make him understand better humankind and that ultimately will make him closer to his humanity. But that’s not how it works. He can’t just watch from afar and expect that to be enough. Dazai needs to connect with himself, even the worse parts of himself, even the parts he doesn’t want to see instead of covering them up, he needs to let himself bond with other people, he needs to connect with his own emotions and desires. He needs to leave his overly complex ideas behind, to go down from the high horse he is in, to stop with the omniscient being act that aggravate his isolation and alienation, the things that ultimately make him perceive himself as something inhuman. He needs to accept that at the end of the day he is just human, just like the rest of the world and he is just as powerless as them.

Now let’s go to arguably Dazai’s most important scene as a character: Odasaku’s death

People love to make this scene about soukoku and it’s fucking ridiculous.

People will take this scene and put it as evidence for the “Chuuya’s always the second choice” theory that they came up with (even if the whole theory is fucking ) but specifically this? Dazai leaving the mafia? Has nothing to do with chuuya. It’s part of his /individual/ character development and exactly what it should be.

Let’s start analyzing it

Dazai arrives and Oda is dying, he is desperate to save him even when he know is too late and the Odasaku says something. And this, this guys is what ultimately leads to Dazai’s character growth.

“-you told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live (…) you won’t find it-Odasaku said in an almost whisper. Dazai stared at him- You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity”

“ That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined- right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had known him so well. For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted from the bottom oh his heart to know something. He asked the man before him:

-Odasaku, What should I do-“- Odasaku and Dazai osamu, Dark era

This is the most important scene for Dazai. He has always been lonely, he has always lived with the knowledge that it doesn’t matter how much he tries, no one will ever able to understand him but then just minutes before oda’s death he realizes he was wrong. To say that he left the mafia for oda is as inexact as saying that he decided to live for chuuya. It’s simply not true. He was heavily influenced by both of them but at the end of the day it was for himself.

“People live to save themselves”

I’ve say it before but this sentence is the core of bsd. If you want to analyze a character in this series, not matter who, you need to start by this quote. Dazai is not the exception to it.

He joined the mafia trying to find his own salvation, to get closer to his humanity, to find his reason for living, to find answers and he left because he realized it was useless. He always knew in a way, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave because this was his only chance, the mafia was his only hope, was the only thing he was clinging to. Even in his worst moments, Dazai still clung to the idea that he would find what he was looking for. But then, while dying oda talks to him and he realizes that there was someone who understood. Someone who knew about his pain, someone who understood his desperation, someone who looked through the mask and realized how utterly broken he was. And thing is, he failed, he tried the logical option and he found nothing but then maybe oda, oda who knows him best, oda who probably understands him better that he understand himself can tell him what to do. That’s why Dazai is so desperate in this scene, asking what to do. Because this is a new chance, there’s new hope. What Oda said might sound horrible but it was exactly what Dazai needed to hear and is the reason I was wrong.

Dazai doesn’t read as a character who went from wanting to die to wanting to find a reason to live.

Because to begin with, what Dazai was looking for was completely unreachable because it doesn’t exist. He can be looking for a reason to live all his life and he won’t find it because there’s not an absolute answer. There is not a bigger motive. The world really is senseless, that’s how it is. And Dazai needed to understand that. That’s why oda tells him to forget all about that silly hope. Because is useless.

“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful”- Oda Sakunosuke, dark era.

But that doesn’t mean than living is worthless

And this is how we come to Dazai’s real change as character. Dazai goes from nihilism, to a failed attempt of existentialism to absurdism.

Absurdism is the philosophical theory that existence in general is absurd, meaning that the world lacks meaning or a higher purpose. It also refers to the discrepancy between two things such as: the conflict as a colission between a rational man in an irrational world. In simple words, absurdism refers to the struggle of the man to find sense in a senseless world and we can see the mental impact of this struggle in the form of existential crises (yes, just like Dazai) Okay so I swear this made perfect sense in my own language, I’m gonna try as best as I can to explain it in English. Absurdism is different from existentialism because it doesn’t think that you can find a sense in the world, it really defends that not matter what you do, you will never find anything, that it doesn’t matter what you cling to in the great scheme of things it still means nothing, and in a way this need to find a sense in life will lead to more chaos BUT it also defends that you have to keep living despite that, maybe out of pure spite of it. Things doesn’t need to make sense to be worthy.

Absurdism says that there are three options to deal with this problem

Suicide: the pure desperation of trying to reach something that doesn’t exist will lead to the rejection of life. But this is not the correct answer (Cough, young Dazai, cough)

Religion: trying to cope, clinging to the idea that there’s a higher purpose. (Cough, Fyodor, Cough)

Rebellion against the absurd: which is the right answer, the individual needs to learn to accept the absurdity of the world and of his own existence but keep opposing to it. Which means, that the individual keeps living clinging to little things that may not have sense, but that are still worthy and valuable. In even simpler terms, absurdism says “do what you have to do to stop from killing yourself, not matter how stupid that thing is”

Cadmus explained it even better using this example:

You all know about Sisyphus, right? If not is basically this man that was punished by the gods. The punishment consisted of rolling a massive rock up a hill, but it doesn’t matter how hard he tried, at the end of the day, once the rock reached the top it would roll down again. So it was a completely senseless punishment. Not matter how Sisyphus tried he could never win against the absurdity of it. And this also happens with human lives, we do meaningless things all the time, knowing that at the end we will die. Not matter what we do, if we end up as vagabonds or if we find the cure against cancer, the result is still the same, we will all die, so everything we do in life is pointless. BUT Cadmus said that you still can’t give up. Because at the end, sisyphus needs to stop caring about something that he can’t change, the result will always be the same but the important thing is the instant of happiness when he comes close to finishing his job. The moment when the rock reaches the top? seconds before it rolls down, that satisfaction? Is what life is really about. And that’s exactly what Dazai is trying to do right now.

He won’t find sense in life, but being in the ADA is a little more beautiful and that alone is reason enough to be there. Maybe he is not a good person, maybe he doesn’t understand morals but he is with people he has come to appreciate in a better environment doing something that he enjoys more and that’s enough.

There’s this omake in bsd that shows a conversation between Atsushi and Dazai. And Atsushi asks Dazai, why he is in the ADA because someone as intelligent as Dazai can surely find a job with better pay, and Dazai looks at him and tell him that it’s true, but he is fine where he is because he likes to use his brain to help people. That guys, is absurdism right there, Dazai acknowledges that it may not makes sense but he likes what he does and that’s enough.

This change has been gradual and Dazai still struggles with it. He still has problems with the idea of letting things go, he still is a manipulative bastard and that will never change, because at this point is just a part of his personality, he still is trying to control everything but at the same time he also is ready to accept that sometime you just don’t have the answers and that’s part of humanity. This is one of my favorite panels on earth:

Dazai is trying to convince kyouka of living, to choose to do something different from the things she’s good at, if that what makes her happy. This is one of the few scenes Dazai accepts that he is not omniscient, that there are no answers for all the questions, and that we are all a little lost because of it. This is also the first time Dazai is not in desperation while saying it. His growth is not about becoming a good person, he still does horrible things, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t changed. To accept that life is senseless but it still is worthy, to accept that he can’t control everything but the possibilities of it are not necessarily something to be afraid but opportunities? /That’s/ his character growth

This whole arc is a masterpiece because it highlights Dazai’s growth. He is against Fyodor, who in a lot of ways is just like him but at their core they are completely different.

This hands down is my favorite Dazai’s panel because is all about his growth. Because he can see what Fyodor doesn’t. Fyodor see himself as a god, Dazai doesn’t because he knows that it doesn’t matter if they are pulling the strings, they are still isolated and alienated from everything, the people that really is moving the world is the one out there, the people that jumps even when they don’t know if they will be caught. The people that don’t know half of what they know but still are able to move in the middle of the uncertainty. And that’s something that neither Fyodor nor Dazai are able to do. But Dazai is no longer in pain because of that, he now understands the problem and is trying his best to overcome it. Dazai stopped resenting the world for being senseless and illogical and is learning to accept it and just adapt as best as he can to it. To give everything for the people he cares about even when there’s no guarantee that it will end well, but Dazai is trying and that’s what matters.

I really wish I had the time to make a better analysis but I don’t. Even then, I wanted to share my pure love and admiration to this character. Dazai is so beautifully written and by far the most complex character in this whole story, all of his development as a character is simply fascinating and the way Asagiri is writing him right now has me screaming and running in circles.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai bsd #dazai osamu #soukoku #skk #dazai analysis #bsd spoilers #this is annoyingly long

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cerebralinvasion · 1 year

Text

yandere february event day 12

“I don’t mind being a monster as long as I’m your monster.”

the first thing that hit you was the smell. a sharp metallic scent overtaking your senses before you even opened the door to the room. your face scrunched up. your nostrils burned from just how strong the smell was.

the second thing that hit you was the visual, the blood smeared all around the room, limp bodies pervaded with puncture wounds and slashes. it was a mess, and standing in the middle of all of it was akutagawa. the bodies had to have been fresh. probably killed less than thirty seconds before you entered the room. the blood was still wet, and akutagawa was still facing them.

it probably would have been in your best interest to leave quietly. turn around and report it to the police, but your instincts acted before your mind did. you stumbled back from the doorway with a yelp. naturally, akutagawa heard you. he snapped his head in your direction before grimacing. he seemed annoyed. shit.

you didn’t know akutagawa well. not as well as he knew you, at least. you’ve only seen him a couple of times in passing. you don’t know what his reaction or lack of response means. you don’t know how he managed to kill all those people so quickly and without getting blood on himself. all you knew at the moment was that he was dangerous and that he knew you saw him murder those people. you scrambled away as quickly as you could, throwing yourself in the opposite direction, only to fall. something had grabbed your leg. some kind of black tendril attached to his coat, you couldn’t get away. was he going to kill you now? you whimpered, you didn’t want to die.

“you’re so meddlesome, did you know that? if you could just mind your own business this wouldn’t be an issue.” akutagawa’s words probably weren’t all that wrong. if only you hadn’t been so curious, you never would’ve investigated the room in the first place.

“i- i’m sorry, i won’t tell anyone! please don’t hurt me.” you spoke quickly, you had no idea how much time you had before he made the decision to simply end you. but your words only seemed to make him more annoyed.

“if i wanted to kill you, you’d be dead already.”

“ah, i, huh? so you’re gonna let me go?” you let a shaky smile take over your face, a glimmer of hope gracing you.

“absolutely not.” what little hope you held died. “it’s too late for that. if i let you run off now, you’ll only cause me more issues.”

“so, what’re you going to do?” you spoke, genuine confusion lilting your voice. he didn’t intend to kill you but he also wasn’t going to let you leave? what happens next?

“i suppose i’ll have to take you.”

“take me?” before you could get further into your question, the tentacle on your leg suddenly unraveled. you thought you were freed for a quick moment, only for it to reward itself around your torso, lifting you into the air. “ah-!?”

“i cant have you running off, but i’m not too keen on exterminating you right now. so i’ll keep you around.”

“ack!? what no! lemmie go!”

“would you rather end up like this guys?” he motions his head in the direction of the dead bodies. was that a threat? suddenly all the quiet fear you held replaced itself with an angry panic. the begging had done nothing and now your words began to spill before you could think.

“you fucking killed all those people, and now you’re trying to abduct me! let me go, you’re insane. you’re a monste-mmmf!!” your words were cut short by the tendril wrapping over your mouth, muffling you.

“monster? yes, i’ve heard that before. perhaps it’s true, i might be a monster, but you’re mine. and that’s what matters.”

#trying to catch up with the prompts today!!#yandere bsd x reader #bsd x reader #akutagawa x reader #yandere akutagawa #yandere akutagawa x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #yandere bsd #bsd x you

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ryuichirou · 8 months

Note

What do you like about Idia?

I got so excited when I got your ask, Anon. And now it’s your problem because I’m probably going to talk a lot lol Thank you very much for asking and giving me an excuse to shower Idia with compliments.

And sorry for replying so late.

To be honest, Idia feels scarily close to being a perfect character for my liking, he kinda has all the qualities that I usually fall for + somehow manages to (unintentionally) incorporate vibes of so many other characters that I like. A friend that got us into twst knew that I’d instantly get invested, it’s almost embarrassing, to be honest lol

So the easy answer would be that I kinda like everything about Idia, but I am annoying, so here are some categories:

Visual

Idia’s design is so damn cute. I really like the combination of him being a lanky scrawny creature with bad posture and being almost “moe” level of adorable. His creepy smile and silly giggles and dark aura works very well with his pretty face with dark lips and this almost… pathetic regular expression. I think his face is what I like about him the most, both the expressiveness and the way it’s drawn in general.

His hair, obviously, are also a big part of it. It’s so unique. One of the first things I said when I started drawing Idia regularly was “oh I’m going to miss drawing his hair so much when we move on from twst” lol Because there is really no other character like that (well, there’s also Ortho, but you get what I mean). The shape, the physics behind it, the fact that it expresses Idia’s emotional state so nicely not only in colour (which is very pretty btw, both the blue and the pink hues, and the orange ones as well), but also in how it “acts”.

Also, Idia’s overall silhouette is great. It’s just… his clothing choices are so fun. His long moe sleeves in his PE uniform, his striped shirt that he wears under his uniform, and of course the huge bell-shaped hooded jacket that hides his body. For some reason it’s, I don’t know, especially cartoony? In a good way, of course.

And lastly, his body language. I love how awkward he is and how much he tries to take as little space as possible when he is stressed out or scared.

So yeah, as someone who draws, I really enjoy Idia. I always have fun with him, and it’s a huge part of why I’m so into him.

Personality/quirks

He is so annoying 😔 … and I love every second of it lol

I love the fact that Idia isn’t just a lovable hikki otaku guy, and he has a lot of unpleasant qualities: he is an elitist, he is stubborn, he is rude sometimes, he makes assumptions about other people (well, he’s surprisingly perceptive so he’s usually right BUT). He likes to tease and to get on the other person’s nerves, and whenever he feels threatened, it’s not unusual for him to attack with negativity first or just to take a dig at his opponent. He is both self-deprecating and self-loving at the same time. But honestly this is what makes him so great. I usually draw him being freaked out by others, but in fact I really really love it when Idia is insufferable.

Because it a) makes sense considering his background; b) is written in a way that is very fun to read; c) is balanced out very well.

Idia isn’t malicious; he’s just socially inept and genuinely scared of others. He is an asshole, but in reality it is due to the fact that he doesn’t know how to connect with others and doesn’t want to seem desperate, plus gets overwhelmed by others very easily. In fact, I think he is much more empathetic than Azul, for example, but I won’t talk about it this time.

I always think about that line that Idia said when he was roasting Riddle for not knowing how to play videogames. I don’t remember the exact line, but it was something similar to “I’ve never seen anyone who is as much of a noob as you lmao but I’m a fucking loser with no friends so yeah makes sense”. I think it describes Idia’s view on others and himself quite nicely: torn between “everyone is shit” and “I am shit”. “I am a genius and everyone is wrong” and… you know.

I also love that Idia drowns himself in his coping mechanisms, but he is still surprisingly realistic about what’s going on in his life. He did create a robot to resemble and act as his diseased younger brother, but he never allowed himself to forget that it is indeed a robot. He doesn’t want to forgive himself, but he also is tired of feeling pain and doesn’t know how to cope with it. So his solution is extreme escapism, but also hyper-awareness about his own faults and never-ending state of excruciating guilt.

So yeah, he’s such a fun character to dive deeper into psychology-wise.

Love his serious moments, love his silly moments, love his complaints, love his emotional rants, love that he’s passionate about stuff that he likes, love that he critiques society in the pettiest ways possible, love his giggles, everything.

(He also reminds me of Katsu in a lot of ways so I am biased lol)

Story

Oh I’ve talked about how much I loved Ch6 a lot, so I won’t write another essay (physically stopping myself).

I’ll be brief and just say that I honestly would have loved Idia even without learning his backstory, because he is just that entertaining, but knowing it made me appreciate him on a whole other level. I love how much depth his character has, how nuanced it is and how beautifully his chapter ended. Seeing him getting closure was very satisfying, and I love that it didn’t change his character drastically overnight.

His love towards Ortho is a beautiful thing, ship-wise or not.

So yeah I kinda just blacked out at some point, I think lol I can talk about Idia forever. He is just an extremely enjoyable character to both read and write.

#replies #idia shroud #about characters

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b3achysurfer · 4 months

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SBG POST!! (hxh moots please ignore this 😓)

** disclaimer: DO NOT SEND HATE TO ANYONE!!!! whether or not they agree with what I’m going to say, please don’t send hate to them. if anything I say comes off as harsh/rude, just know that’s not my intention.

deadass wasn’t gonna say anything because I genuinely don’t care, but some of my friends/supporters are getting hate and it’s starting to annoy me. also my name got dragged in so it’s free game now 😛 **

posting this on my main for reach, but my side blog for sbg is @b3achysurfur !!

Someone sent me a post that was talking about how the fandom thinks it’s okay to hate Logan for being a nerd but not anyone else for the tropes they’re based on. They also said that people have been “getting defensive about their right to hate a charater”. The person probably has me blocked and won’t see this but idrc bc they were talking about me (to some extent).

no one is getting defensive about their “right to hate a character”. from what I’ve seen (and posted) it was just people pointing out how silly it is to say “oh you can’t hate this character 😡”. that’s literally it lmao. that’s not being “defensive”, it’s just pointing out how stupid you guys sound. also, it applies to you too? you can hate/like whoever you want.

“i'd be stabbed 27 times and set on fire for saying anything remotely bad about aiden but logan gets away scot free bc he's a ‘nerd’ and ppl simply dislike him bc of his trope? the double standards are just odd, that's what i'm addressing.” Scot-free? No I didn’t “get away scot free”. I got sent death threats, sm1 attempted to dox me, my dms were full of hate, and there was post after post of people saying things about me (some of which came from people you associate yourself with op). It just looks like I “got away scot-free” because I’m not a little bitch and can deal with backlash for my opinions.

you guys created this environment where everyone has to like everything! everyone has to feel the same way about everything! and a lot of you have this mob mentality and just follow the crowd instead of having you’re own opinions. There is no “double standard”. You guys hate on anyone and everyone for their personal opinions.

“what's the difference between them and everyone else? i'm "allowed to hate" these characters, but if i posted my opinion on someone like aiden, who is a mostly beloved character by the fandom, i'd get Rattled.” Nothing! There’s no difference! Only problem is none of you have the balls to express your opinions out loud. Not that I blame you tho, from my experience the fandom is very agressive when you disagree with them. And by the way, I was never “allowed to hate” Logan. Can’t even count how many people made posts saying, “dni if you hate Logan/any of the main cast” lol. Which also confuses me op. You can’t really complain about it when you’re apart of the problem, no?

“and anyways i'm talking abt the fact that people are defending beachy for their opinions, the majority of us dislike them but it's still insane the difference” I know people hate me, idrc ab that. but the fact that you complained about not being able to dislike any of the main charaters than added that you (as well as most of sbg tumblr) don’t like me bc of my opinion is so hypocritical. Do you not hear yourself?? Also people defend me because you guys get nasty quick. most of my posts are JOKES. yes I hate Logan, but I’m not being serious when I write things about him. Not to mention most the people who defend me now were at my thoart when we first started interacting.

Having different opinions on characters and vocalizing it is very important to fandom growth. You guys need to understand this. If you force everyone is like a charater then not only does it make the fandom boring to interact with it but it also creates drama. AKA THE WHOLE “LOWAR”. SHI WOULDVE NEVER HAPPENED IF I WAS ALLOWED TO DISLIKE LOGAN LMAO??? Not to mention, it allows you to see different perspectives and versions of the same charater just through someone else’s eyes. That’s why our fanon versions of charaters are just copy and paste of the canon versions. Because you guys never give anyone space to be creative. As soon as you don’t agree with it, you all jump on the person and make it a problem. It’s annoying.

If you don’t want to be attacked for your opinions on a charater then stop attacking others for their opinions. Obviously this problem won’t be fixed immediately but it’s one person at a time yk? Just know if you hate a character, you should expect at least a bit of backlash and debate. Shi I still argue with people and it’s been like 3 months. Just remember to be open minded, respectful, and have fun!!

“Hating” on a charater doesn’t have to be negative/drama. it’s you guys that make it into that. Relax a bit and have a little more fun. Or don’t, it’s ya life 🤷‍♀️

—- btw if you ever have a problem with me, talk to me about it or stfu. Stop attacking my friends/supporters. you can dm me, tag me in a post, send me an ask, comment, reblog, idc. I’ll respond (on my sbg side blog). Or just block and ignore me. Thanks 😛

#sbg #school bus graveyard webtoon #school bus graveyard #schoolbus graveyard #sbg (webtoon)

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empyrangel · 10 months

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It really frustrates me how the found family trope has affected fiction and fandom.

Because of experiences I’ve had, I’m no longer capable of feeling familial love. I have an uneasy relationship with familial affection and family as a concept. These experiences give me a different perspective on familial love then most people. I don’t understand why people insist on forcing it into character dynamics or in place of platonic feelings.

Platonic love and feelings often get erased by fandom’s obsession with romance, but something I’ve never seen anyone else talk about is how it doesn’t stop there. Every group of fictional friends is called a found family. If two people who are close interact with one another and aren’t shipped together then apparently they’re siblings now. If an adult cares for a child/ younger character or gives them advice or is close with them at all then they’re automatically “parental figures.” It’s always “you’re not my best friend, you’re family now.” I’m sick of it. Family isn’t all its cracked up to be. This insistence in both fanon and canon fiction that family is always good and should be held above all and and everyone needs a family whether biological or honorary is almost as annoying as the insistence that everyone needs romance.

Why can’t people be friends? I’d kill for a group of people to just be friends with and feel platonic love for because to me that’s better than any family I could have or find. It’s like people think there’s a hierarchy, that platonic feelings are meant to be temporary. That if people form a close enough bond they become “more” than friends and are either romantically involved or become family.

Platonic relationships and feelings are not lesser than romantic or familial ones. They are not less important, less genuine, less impactful, less personal, or anything else inferior to romance and family.

I’m tired of them being erased. I understand that the desire to push the narrative of characters being family often comes from the de-stigmatization of adoption and fostering, of doing away with the nuclear and “traditional” family structures. It comes from people embracing that family is not something you’re stuck with by chance, but can be something you choose. It comes from queer people pushed from their biological families and finding solace in a community or group of people who finally accept them and become a real family to them. And I’m not demeaning or trivializing any of that, I just think that they can and should co exist with with platonic relationships and the idea that family isn’t the end all be all of relationships.

I’m also aware that the association of close non-romantic relationships with family predates the found family trope and fandom, but I’ve noticed that it’s become more of a problem as the trope grew in popularity.

I used to be a big fan of the found family trope because I thought I could make up for my past experiences and feelings about family by seeing people having positive relationships with family and choosing the people they consider family to them. Turns out what I was looking for had nothing to do with family at all.

#constellation of words ✨#fandom criticism #found family #fandom tropes #book tropes #media tropes #family trauma #amatonormativity #platonic attraction #aro spec #aromantic spectrum #aromantic #aromantism

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goldendoodlerlockerlove · 4 months

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I’m a huge Multishipper and find the merits of almost any Ship for Bob’s Burgers. I’ve seen so many good content for so many lovely ships!! Here are some of my favorites (and the blogs that produce the best content for these ships):

Tina/Josh is so underrated, in my opinion. The show did make it so they’ll never be canon (probably), and Josh didn’t get nearly enough screentime, but I think they’re adorable. I loved them so much in Linda-Pendant Woman, with Tina pulling a Prince Charming and trying to find who Josh’s bandaid belonged to. And their Fresh Feed kiss!! Tbh, I kind of ship them the most (please don’t come for me) and they’re super cute. But the show’s most likely not going to do anything else with them. They have a ton of potential, and I wish they spent more time fleshing Josh out as a character. If they had, this ship had the potential of being as good or even better than some of the other ships with Tina. I also definitely headcanon Josh as Bi. That boy is not straight in my opinion.

Tinimmy is such a classic, I adore it and all of the lovely content that @drawthethingdoppelganger and @jimmyjrsmusoems have put out. These two are the absolute Tinimmy Queens, so if you want Tinimmy content, go to their blogs immediately!! It helps that this ship is basically canon, and Jimmy Jr. is such an awkward dork 😭 He doesn’t know how to express his emotions, but he does care so much about Tina despite what some people say 😒 It’s so frustrating when people always put J Ju down because of one episode (V For Valentine-Detta). Yes, it was a jerk move, but he’s a flipping middle schooler!! And it wasn’t even that bad, anyway. And one bad move doesn’t erase all of the lovely things he’s done for Tina. Like finding her Barrecklace and saying it made him think of her?? Wanting to do a Sky Kiss with her?? Agreeing to go on a date to Pie in the Sky even though he’s not really a fan, and inviting her on a completely genuine date to Fro-Yo Mama?? Come on, these two are adorable. And they deserve a coffee date sometime if DT’s recent art is anything to go by. I also headcanon Jimmy Jr. as Bi sometimes and a heavily closeted Gay boy other times. It kind of depends how I’m feeling, pffffft. @br1ghtestlight has headcanoned him as Aro/Ace, and that’s a fun and valid interpretation too, but I usually feel as if he does have some sort of interest in Tina romantically. I’m not sure. I guess it depends??

Zekina is so cute even though I don’t ship it as much as the other two. Zeke wanting to take Tina on a date to the aquarium and then out for tacos is just so adorable!! But it always annoys me so much when people say that Zeke is obviously the better choice for Tina and is always nicer to her and always has her best interests at heart. Like, Zeke is a sweetheart, but he’s had his moments of not being great to Tina. He’s a teenager just like Jimmy Jr. He’s not obviously the better choice for her just because he suggested that date of tacos and touch tanks. Zekina is lovely, and I respect anyone who ships it and makes content for it. I definitely see the appeal. But people really need to stop coming for Jimmy Jr. Yes, I will keep yelling about this forever 😭 Anyway, if you want some of the best Zekina content, you must go to @theangrypomeranian’s blog right now. You should absolutely read Baby Steps!! I started it but haven’t gotten far because of the length, but everyone should go read it and support them!! @br1ghtestlight has also written a Tina and Zeke fic (though they might just be platonic there) that I still haven’t read yet, but everyone should go read that too.

Zeke/Jimmy Jr., aka Zesto (not sure if that’s their actual ship name, but it should be) is great. It has so much potential, and I ship it a ton. I tend to ship Tina/Josh and Zeke/Jimmy Jr. the most, not because of Jimmy Jr., but because those are the ships I just enjoy the most and I think have the best potential/chemistry. But plenty of other ships have lovely potential and chemistry too!! Anyway, these two can be read equally well as platonic besties, but them being together romantically intrigues me. It would be a ton of fun, I think. They would definitely be a chaotic couple, but a cute one. I mean, Jimmy Jr.’s reaction when he thought Zeke would start going to a different school?? He was so stressed!! And Zeke always wanting to wrestle with J Ju as a sign of affection? And agreeing to do things like help J Ju get a chicken nugget in his mouth? I love.

Genecadero is adorable and @dianadeadwing has made such cute artwork for them. Gene doesn’t have many ships, and I probably enjoy this one the most. It’s definitely a rare pair. Gene deserves a cute romance with a sweet partner!! It’s weird to me when people sometimes say that Gene is too young for that when the show already tried giving him a straight relationship with Courtney. Yes, they broke up, but still. The showrunners are clearly open to giving Gene a relationship. I love the idea Diana brought up of Peter not-so-subtly having a crush on Gene and Gene just not getting the hints. But I like to think he becomes super lovestruck and a super doting partner when he’s older.

I’m cheating and putting Gene/Alexis (I came up with a super cute ship name for them now now I can’t remember what it is ☠️ Does anyone want to help me come up with one??) on here, because I was like “Welp, if others don’t want to give Gene many ships, I’ll make one myself!” I’ve grown very attached to Alexis as an OC, and I’ve suddenly realized he has similarities to Alex 😭 I imagined them both as being voiced by Thomas Middleditch, their names are similar, and are both kind of nerds. But I think that’s where the similarities end. I definitely wanted Alexis to stand out as a character, and I think he’s still different enough from Alex. Anyway, I can’t help but talk about these two, they make my heart sing. I will never get tired of making content about them or just rambling about them like here.

Gene/Sasha is such a rare pair, and the enemies to lovers potential?? Amazing, actually 🤌🏼 If this ship wasn’t so rare, I think it would have Louigan potential, tbh. I love the idea of these two talking more and bonding, because let’s be real, Sasha is 1,000% not straight. Just look at him. Their ship also kind of reminds me of Dipcifica from Gravity Falls, with the rich kid potentially opening up and becoming a better person thanks to someone else’s influence. I just love a good Enemies-to-Lovers romance, and the potential they have for banter is immaculate.

Ahhh, Roudise (aka Louwheeze, which is an incredible ship name), is just the cutest thing on earth, I adore it. I love a good Friends-to-Lovers, and I think I just have them on the brain because of Roudise Week. They’re just adorable and basically canon like Tinimmy. I probably ship them the most?? They just make me happy. I love how Rudy brings out Louise’s softer side, and Louise helps bring Rudy out of his shell. Their friendship is precious, their potential romance even more so. I just have a lot of thoughts about these two, they make me happy. Also, Louise slapping Rudy after kissing him in Bob, Actually sends me every time. If you want some of the best Roudise content, go to @ltwharfy and @devilh0rnsinc. Their Roudise content is just so lovely!!

Louigan!! This ship is great too. I don’t understand why people who ship it get blocked. There’s so much potential there!! Again, Enemies-to-Lovers is one of my favorites. And their potential for banter?? Amazing. Incredible. No notes. If you want the best Louigan content, you must go to @babsvibes immediately. I started reading Stacy’s Cardamom, which is basically her Magnum Opus. I haven’t finished it yet, but it’s incredible and everyone should go read it. She’s truly the Louigan Queen and got me interested in this ship in the first place. And she was kind enough to invite me onto the Louigan Discord, which has been an absolute blast (even though I hardly share anything Louigan on there ☠️). I want to change that and make more Louigan content. I have a lot of ideas. Y’all better watch out if Louigan Week happens again next September 👀 Louigan Week was also amazing this year!! Everyone show Babs some love for running that incredible event.

Louissica is cute and has potential. I feel as if it’s quite similar to Roudise as a cute, charming Friends-to-Lovers. But Jessica just needs to appear more and be more developed as a character, because she just hasn’t appeared enough for me to have as many thoughts about this ship as all of the others I’ve listed so far. I loved them hunting for that Wharf Monster together, that was such a fun side plot. And them bonding at Louise’s sleepover when she’d driven everyone else away.

BOBLIN. If there’s a ship from this show I love the most, it’s Boblin, no contest. There’s a reason my very first ask to DT was Boblin-related. But I’ve rambled about them enough, so I’ll try to keep this short, pfffffft. They’re an example of a couple that’s as close to perfect that I’ve ever seen. They’re so sweet you’ll get a cavity, they’re domestic, and they’re ancient as hell muppets. What else could you want?? I love how their love stems not just from huge, loud, romantic gestures. It also stems from more quiet, subtle moments. Like Bob massaging Linda’s feet. Or Linda deciding to give Bob a quiet night in for his birthday, because she realized he’d enjoy that the most. Or Bob making her a heart-shaped pancake on Valentine’s Day. You get the idea. If you want the best Boblin content, then @jimmypesto is your girl. She’s written some of the best BB fics I’ve read, and the way she writes Boblin is unmatched. She’s such a talented writer, it’s insane. She’s also written a ton of Boblin smut, if that’s your thing!!

Frondbrose is wonderful. These two also have such good chemistry and banter, it’s insane. Their Enemies-to-Lovers potential is insane. I wish they were canon so bad. They definitely need to interact more. Mr. Ambrose showing his softer side for Mr. Frond is just so adorable to me!! This man would be the epitome of “I hate everyone, but I don’t hate you 😌” They make me all giggly. I can’t get enough. They’re definitely the type to have Hate Sex once and then deny it ever happened 🤣. But everyone would know the truth.

Tedmort is so cute and has so much potential. I love it. I think Teddy and Mort’s friendship is precious already, but a potential relationship between them?? The wholesomeness meter would be off the charts. They can be an ancient muppet couple like Bob and Linda!! Mort would treat Teddy 1,000% better than Denise, but tbh, anyone else would treat Teddy better than Denise. If you want Tedmort, then @keepyourhornson-spyro is the person for you!! They’ve written some lovely Tedmort fics that everyone should read.

Marshmallow/Nat has such potential, and there should be content about them!! It just seems like such a fun ship, and I think being with Marshmallow would help Nat get over her ex-girlfriend. These two also share a similar vibe of just coming and going as they please, and “being truly free” 😌 I still love that Marshmallow is canonically Trans and Nat is canonically a Lesbian. They’re wonderful.

Hemita is a canonical rarepair, which I didn’t think was possible, but here we are. I think they’re so cute and definitely good for each other. Susmita asking out Henry in Morse Code?? That was adorable. We need more moments of these two being cute. I love them.

Barryl is such a rare pair and has won me over so much. There’s just something that makes sense about these two being together that’s difficult to describe. There’s something so sweet about Becky being able to find love after being unlucky with Jimmy Jr. Darryl would be such a sweet boyfriend to her, and she would be such a sweet girlfriend in return. They would be so cute holding hands and listening to the Frozen soundtrack on repeat. Sure, to ship them, you need to ignore Rosa, but she was only in one episode anyway. I gotta shout out @theangrypomeranian again for basically creating this entire ship herself. Amazing.

Arnlee is such a gigantic rare pair it’s insane, and they’ve definitely won me over too. They’re so cute!! They’re just two socially awkward kids who would work really well together. They deserve to have some sort of side plot where they bond. I would love that. @devilh0rnsinc made the cutest art of these two together for @ltwharfy, and that was what officially won me over. That and @ltwharfy’s adorable fic about them which everyone should go read.

I might cut myself off there, because this post is insanely long. But it just goes to show how many lovely ships there are in this fandom. And they’re all valid. Seriously, can we please just respect each other and who we ship??

Anyway, there’s a little something for everyone in terms of ships, and I just love that so much. Everyone needs to check out all of the blogs I mentioned for some lovely content❣️They’ve also just been so sweet and welcoming towards me, I can’t stress that enough!!

#fandom ships #bobs burgers #we need more content for some of these rare pairs #rare pairs are just so fun to talk about #all of these ships make me so happy in different ways and i’ve had my eyes opened to so many of them because of these talented people #for example i was very normal about tinimmy until dt and kaitlyn came long pfffffft #now i have intense brainrot and you know what?? i’m not complaining #caroline also helped make me even more insane about boblin thanks to her amazing fics. i can’t stress enough how lovely they are #everyone in this fandom is just so amazing and talented i can’t handle it❣️

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