#but for the past few years i've been dancing a lot on my own

[bandzboy]

idk if it's bc it's midnight but i've been thinking about seriously getting into dance again but like professionally ...

#before i started to sing #dancing was my passion #but i sort of drop it to focus on singing #that was literally years ago #but for the past few years i've been dancing a lot on my own #and truly i would like to do it again? #but idk dude i wanna do music production too so JHDJGHD IDK MAN #it's complicated #i wanna be a full on artist in case you guys didn't realize lmao </3 #but idk i still have to see my options #but what i'll do next really is music production #i just don't know what i'll do next after that #i just wanna keep improving on things #tris.txt

[angelltheninth]

Back in the Dating Game

Pairing: Lucifer Morningstar x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, new relationship, first date, phone calls, being flustered, gifts, kissing, poly Lucilith, Lucifer Morningstar is a gentleman and silly

Word count: 1.2k

Summary: After a while of dancing around it you and Lucifer are finally going on a date. He's been freaking out about it and goes to ask the only person he can for advice, his daughter, Charlie.

A/N: This came to me at like 2 in the morning and I thought it was hilarious.

Over a month has passed since Charlie and her friends battle with Adam and Hell is slowly going back to... it's usual brand of chaos. Lucifer however has his own worries past Hell's current affairs. His upcoming date.

"It's a date. A date. You've been on dates before. You're the King of Hell!" He yelled at his own reflection, ferocious at first and then sunk back down into his chair. "Like ten thousand years ago. Ugh. Why is it still so hard. I gotta find someone who... wait... that's it!"

He rushed out the door of his bedroom, greeting one Hotel staff member after the other, even Alastor, although he swore that the Radio Demon tried to trip him. It was still early morning so he choose to leave him be. For now.

"Charlie can I- oh- oh my golly-!" Lucifer was has never looked away faster in his life, his long, long life.

"Dad! What the FUCK is wrong with you?!" Charlie kicked her legs so fast one of her hooves smacked Vaggie in the face. "Shit! Vaggie I'm so sorry! Are you bleeding! Oh my god you are!"

Vaggie put her hand up and instead of bothering to stop the bleeding searched for her nightgown. There were few things worse then getting caught between her girlfriend's legs.

"Are uh... you two dressed now?" Lucifer coughed awkwardly as he listened to the commotion behind him. "I'm so sorry I didn't know you two were- I mean it's fine you're girlfriends and sex is a very natural-"

"Dad, please don't. You can turn around just... knock next time." Lucifer turned around, one hand still on his face, "You can look, we're dressed."

The King of Hell cleared his throat, standing there for a few more moments before walking over to a chair and sitting down. "Soooo... wings huh? Hey, me too! Aha-haaa!" He grinned way to much, trying to break the awkward atmosphere. "Charlie... you like girls right?"

"Yes? Didn't you just... dad, what's going on?"

He gulped, tapping his fingers on his cane, "There's this woman I've kind of, maybe, soft of been seeing and... well your old man's been out of the dating game for the past ten thousand years. It's... I'm nervous about the date tonight." He was out of breath by the time he finished talking, almost shaking.

Charlie and Vaggie looked at each other, and a moment later Charlie exploded with excitement.

"Who is she? When did you meet? Did you kiss yet? Is she as pretty as mom? Does she like singing? Have you kissed yet or not?! Wait I already asked that!"

"Charlie, Charlie calm down! This is gonna be our first official date. Your mom gave a thumbs up? We didn't talk much though. I really think this-" A phone rang in his pocket, "Oh! Oh god! It's her! What do I do?!"

"Pick up the phone?" Vaggie suggested.

"Good idea Gabby! That's why I like you!" That wasn't even close to her name but okay, he was under a lot of stress. "What do I say?"

"Just... be yourself?" Not helpful.

"Myself. Okay. I'm Lucifer. The King of Hell!" He took a deep breath and pressed answer, "Hey bitch!"

Both Charlie and Vaggie faceplalmed, Vaggie cringing more because of her busted nose and lip.

"Uhm, hey Lucifer. Are we still on for tonight?" You asked with no small amount of stress of your own. You were getting a date with the King of Hell, it was scary and exciting at the same time.

"Of course we're on! We are gonna get it on! Not like that, no! I uh... want to..." He looked to the side where both Charlie and Vaggie made X gestures with their arms, "Make you an X?"

You laughed at how nervous he sounded too, "Already dumping me? You haven't even kissed me yet. I'm not that bad at it, I promise."

"No, no I don't mean... I look forward to seeing you tonight. It will be the best, most romantic, the most magical shit you've ever seen... baby?" Lucifer tried to chuckle but it sounded very forced.

"Well okay then. Sweep me off my feet, my good sir." Look at you, already using petnames for each other.

"S-Sir...?" His mind was already going places that were very much not appropriate in front of his daughter and her girlfriend, "See you tonight!" He ended the call, "That went well. Wish me luck Charlie! Oh and use protection! Your old man ain't ready to be a grandpa yet."

"Daaad!" Charlie blushed a deep red as Lucifer stepped through a portal and back into his room.

The knock at your door was quick and hard, and a few minutes early. But you knew who it was, the hat and the wings were a dead giveaway. You checked your outfit and make-up in the mirror one last time before opening the door and beholding the King of Hell himself holding out flowers for you with a shy smile on his face.

"Hope these aren't too much for a first date." He handed them off to you. "They're alive! They're gonna be great houseguards when they grow fully." Good, then you wouldn't have to feed them. The demons breaking into your home will do that.

"Thank you, I'm sure they'll be lovely." You put them aside and took his hand as he tapped his cane on the floor and opened a portal to a restaurant you haven't been to before. It looked much too fancy, but not for the King. "Wow."

Lucifer pulled out a chair for you but tripped over his own. "I'm okay!"

He was such a goof ball.

"I uh... look, I need to be honest with you. I haven't been on a date in a while. I don't know how to do... this. I walked in on my daughter with her girlfriend today because I couldn't figure out how to talk to you!" He leaned against his chair and ran his hand across his face, his red cheeks reddening even more.

"Lucifer, it's fine." You reached for his hand, "You're the King of Hell. I was scared to go out with you, I didn't know what to expect. Your reputation is pretty intimidating. But I'm glad you're not that guy."

"And what kind of guy am I?" He leaned in, so interested in what you had to say. He'd been judged for so long, for all the wrong things, he had to know what you think.

"Really funny, someone who cares about his family, charming, and dare I say devilishly handsome." You pushed yourself over the desk and kissed him on the cheek, in front of everyone. "And so cute when you blush." You whispered and looked at him with hooded eyes. Lucifer didn't reply but you did see his tail moving behind him. "Puppy energy. Interesting."

"Oh no, I'm not into pet play. But I'm sure we can find other things we're both into." His eyebrows wiggled as he let his long tongue curl at you. You clenched your legs, excited for more dates with him if this is the energy he's gonna bring every time.

#hazbin hotel x reader #lucifer morningstar x reader #lucifer x reader #hazbin hotel imagine #lucifer morningstar imagine #lucifer imagine #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel fanfiction #lucifer morningstar headcanon #lucifer morningstar fanfiction #lucifer headcanons #lucifer fanfiction #hazbin hotel fluff #lucifer morningstar fluff #lucifer fluff #hazbin hotel #lucifer morningstar #lucifer #x female reader

[himezoro]

love wins all (a roronoa zoro story, part 2) (smut)

tysm for your support on part 1 !! this story means a lot to me, i've had a lot of vision to write it etc. it's not proofread, and it's written by a tired lawyer who's been up for the past 15 hours because of a few cases. anyway, thanks for your support, and thank you for making my days so much more bearable. ilysm !! ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

inspired by this song!!

@sanjisprincesswifey i know you liked the first part, so i'm dedicated it to you (i hope it doesn't suck lmao)

warning!! : nsfw (minor DNI), gender (female), mention of (Y/N), slight angst ? angry sex/cheating involved.

.・゜゜・ 1 hour before ・゜゜・．

Zoro’s years of superhuman training were a benefit here. His body was moving on its own, as fast as he could, barely paying attention to the people he was bumping into with his broad shoulders. Just like a race horse, he had blinkers preventing him from seeing the rejoice faces of the villagers preparing for the reception, dancing to the musicians’ plays on the streets and basically creating a path to the palace where the festivities were to take place.

These poor people don’t know what they’re talking about.

While he made his way closer to the palace, his mind was too busy thinking about the last words you two shared rather than thinking of an infiltration strategy. From the way your plumped lips traced thousands of “I love you” to the harsh “I hate you” they uttered when he took off, from the laughters they shared to the silent cry they failed to conceal. From the lewd sounds they let escape when his cock thrusted into your wet cunt, to the sensual moans they purred onto his lips.

For a second he felt his heart sink, and a weird feeling to his stomach. Was it anxiety because he was about to enter a restricted area? Mad, that you forgot about him so easily? Jealous, that another man, and a ridiculous one he thought, got to spend the rest of his life by your side? Sick, that a man that is not him, was to touch you in ways only he could?

He couldn’t pinpoint the right word for what he was feeling, and he frankly did not care. His goal was set, and it was to enter that palace and get to you. How would he achieve that was apparently not an important matter to him, because he just barged in, breaking through the guards with undiscovered strength, not giving a damn about the consequences.

I’m sorry guys, we’ll have some mess to clean up before tasting the banquet.

His ears almost failed to hear the guards crying for help and threatening to call the Marines, as he climbed all the stairs he found at once, his heart knowing that at the top, they led to you.

And it did.

.・゜゜・3 minutes left・゜゜・．

Zoro was facing a long corridor with a large room down the hall. The doors were slightly opened, as if he was awaited all along. Even though he knew he probably was not the person you wished to see, he still felt like the small light peering through the doors was a way to your heart. Like there was hope.

His pace slowed as he approached your doors, and his hand lingered on the door before slowly pushing it open, his good eye widening at the sight he was bestowed with.

There you were, in all your glory, your back facing the door as you looked at yourself in the huge mirror standing in front of you, gently trying out earrings that would complement your hairstyle of the day. The white dress you were wearing hugged your curves perfectly. The corset on top carved the shape of your waist, only for it to enhance the curves of your ass. The silk material left little to the imagination, and he could stay watching forever. He swore he could smell your perfume from here, already enamoring him much more. He could see the glistening of your skin as the so-short sleeves of your dress lovingly fell off your shoulders.

You were a mythology goddess. A legend, only for him to see.

And he had a chance to conquer.

・゜゜・00・゜゜・．

« So I guess my invitation got lost in the mail? » you heard the hoarse voice speaking through the opened door of your quarters. You kept on looking at yourself in the magnificent mirror standing in front of you, looking at how the white dress hugged your form, pretending not to have heard the said voice, ignoring the immediate chills it sent down your spine. You knew who these words belonged to, and so did your racing heartbeat.

You slowly reached down to the table by your side to pick another pair of earing to try out, letting Zoro enter as you calmly and sternly responded.

“The only thing that appears to have lost itself here, is you.”

Zoro scoffed as he fully entered your quarters, closing the door behind him as he stands, looking at you intently. Gosh, you were even more beautiful than in his memories. The way your hair fell so beautifully around your face. He missed your comebacks, your confidence, the way your brain seemed to understand his better than anyone else, better than he knew his own.

He slowly walked behind you, so close that you could feel his hot breath tickling the nape of your neck. He only looked at you through the mirror in front of you, feeling like, at some point, this would help him keep his façade. He bore his poker and stern face while taking in your presence.

Gosh, how he wanted to pin you to that mirror and kiss you until your lips turn bloody red from how much he would bite them.

“Looking great here. Nice big ring too.” he said, the hot breath of his lips tickling your ear.

It was hard for you to ignore how fast your heart was beating, and the tension between the two of you. It was electric, deep, high. You hated the effect he had on you, how he would always manage to have you wrapped around his finger. How he could make you kneel in front of him, happily opening your mouth to welcome his hot length. How he could make you melt from the simplest of words.

How he could break your facade, break your heart and confidence under a minute.

Your eyes met through the mirror, and that’s when you noticed his new scar. It hurt, knowing that you did not have the opportunity to mend his wounds and see his progress.

“I can’t say the same for you.” You lied, breaking the eye contact by focusing on removing the earrings you had just put on.

Zoro laughed, never looking away. He agreed: beside you, he looked like a picturesque character. You were the epitome of beauty, an ethereal image. If he were Sanji, he would have probably died on the spot.

Your eyes met again.

“You could have told me you were getting married. I had the right to-“

“How dare you?” you cut him mid-sentence, turning around to face him. His new built caught you off guard, but you didn’t let that stop you from finally, cutting the air.

“Zoro you better not finish that sentence. You have no right whatsoever to know a thing about my life. Not after what you did.” You explained, clear annoyance and a hint of hurt in your voice.

“Oh, is that how it is? How it’s going to be, (Y/N)? Of course you should have told me ! How dare you not tell me?” Zoro responded, mad, stubborn, scratched. “You can’t just get married, with this creep, and believe that I don’t have MY say in this? Or are you stupid?!” he continued, not noticing he started yelling.

You slightly pushed him away to get behind him, clearly needing the space. And he was surprised he let you push him, following your movements, wondering what your dress would feel like under his touch. He stared at your dress, your bosom and the way the corset enhanced the roundness of your boobs.

He wanted to eat them out right now and tear this corset apart.

“Oh you’re the stupid one here! Zoro you cannot expect me to tell you a thing about my love life, or anything about my life for that matter, when you walked away, in the middle of the night, saying your dream was more important, right after making love to me, and leaving to the sea without as much as a note?!” you stated, yelling the last words.

“It was not the right time for us and you know it! Come on, don’t act like I forced my decision on you. You know it was the best choice.”

“I beg your pardon?” you asked, walking closer to him, closing the distance between the two of you to state your thoughts loud and clear. You shook your head, gathering your thoughts after Zoro’s unreasonable rambling.

“Let me ask you. What do you call someone leaving in the middle of the night, saying how his dream is more important than the night he just spent with who he called to be the love of his life, while the later cried her heart out? Do you call that a consensual decision? A mature talk? Enlighten me, Roronoa Zoro. Please, enlighten me.”

Zoro just dived into your eyes at your words. Enlighten me. The words echoed in his ears, and for a couple of seconds his brain just stopped working. Noticing his lack of response, you sighed, trying to walk past him to finally put your veil on.

But this time, he did not let you past him.

Zoro grabbed your hips and looked into your eyes before diving in and kiss you. The taste of his lips surprised you, they seemed more mature, but still as soft as they were that night. With Zoro invading your space, it was hard to think, hard to breathe, hard to resist breaking the tension lingering after all these years. Before he could slide his tongue pass your lips, you pulled back, looking at him with half-lidded eyes, whispering, afraid the universe might hear you;

“What are you doing?”

“Enlightening you.” he whispered with a smirk, his breath tickling your lips.

And these words were enough to send all senses of hurt, bitterness and ache to hell. You let him kiss you, putting your hands on his arms as he kept a firm grip on your hips. He kissed you hard, feral. His tongue parted your lips, twirling around yours as he let out a deep groan. He has been waiting for this for years, and feeling your lips respond to his sent him to heaven. He could not help but let his hands glide to your ass and give it a light squeeze, making you yelp. Your reaction made him laugh, a small, intimate laugh only you could hear.

You slowly pulled away to catch your breath, and he took the opportunity to tell you what he really meant to say before rambling the selfish nonsense he let out.

“Don’t marry him. Come with me.” He whispered, his lips meeting the side of your neck, using his tongue to tickle the soft spots he never forgot: your submaxillary triangle, your trapezius.

“What are you talking about?” you responded, still a little out of breath, and mostly, distracted by his shenanigans.

“You got me baby, loud and clear.”

The dress started to bother him, and he took the opportunity to tear the bottom to the side, creating a slit on your left leg, taking advantage of it to massage your thighs and groping your ass once more, with more force and determination. He tapped your ass, a small gesture to wrap your legs around his waist as he pinned you to the mirror.

And when your legs tightened around his waist, he knew your answer.

And so he did not waste any time anymore. He massaged your breasts through the corset of your white dress, admiring how your boobs threatened to escape only for him to lick at your buds, cupping them in between his large hands. Your hands fell into his mossy green hair, slightly pulling on the ends as his tongue danced around your clavicles.

Being the skillful swordsman he is, and having experience with his mouth and hands, his left hand went under your dress, thanks to the slit he made, so he could play with your clothed cunt, feeling its wetness forming. There are so much things he wished to say at that moment, but the way his erection irritated his pants kept him from uttering the slightest of word. And knowing him like the back of your hand, you let out a small laugh.

“Are your pants too small to contain your little friend here?”

“If you call it little then I really should jog your memory.”

With that, he pushed you against the cold mirror surface a little harder so he could unzip his pants, letting his length sprung free against the white silk.

“Be careful, you might tarnish it you idiot!”

“Like you and I care.” he proudly stated, sliding his hand under your dress and pushing his index into your cunt, while rubbing circle on your clit. He never took his eyes off you, appreciating every little of your reactions, bearing your face into his memory.

“Gosh, I missed the feeling of your pussy around my fingers, you know that right?” he desperately uttered, feeling his already hard cock getting harder. “Gosh (Y/N), I missed everything about you.” he added, pumping harder, adding another finger into your pussy, your moans getting louder and lewder.

“And I missed the feeling of your cock, Zo’..” you whimpered, a dark light sparkling in his eye as he heard your plea.

“Well you won’t miss it anymore sweatheart.” he said, removing his fingers out of your cunt and pushing up your dress some more, so he could set your white lace panty aside and slide into you.

“Hmmpf!” you whimpered in extasy, the simple feeling of his cock stretching your tight cunt already answering your needs. He waited for you to adjust and looked at you, his eyes pleading for consent. Once you nodded and gave him a soft, intimate smile, Zoro started pounding into you at a feral pace. His nails dug into your thighs and ass as he held you tight, pumping his thick cock into your warmth. You threw your head back on the cold mirror surface as you tried to keep some sense into you, tears forming in your eyes from how passionate your partner was.

“G-Gosh (Y/N), you’re still taking me so well… completely m-made for me..” Zoro managed to say, as he could feel your pussy tightening around his shaft. This felt so real, so much better than in his memories.

“Please k-keep going!” you plead, only for him to hold you tighter, spanking your ass in the process.

“I’ll k-keep only if you answer my question.” He said, slowing his thrusts, going excruciatingly slow, torturing the both of you.

But he needed to know.

“Are you coming with me to the sea?”

He stared into your eyes for as long as he could, trying to determine what went on in your head.

“Zoro..”

He thrusted hard into you, looking at you again.

“Answer me.”

He thrusted harder, his eye never leaving your beautiful face.

“I..”

He thrusted harder, so hard you swore you could feel it in your guts.

“(Y/N). You love me. I love you. Come with me.”

“Y-Yes for God’s sake I’ll c-come with you!” you cried, only for him to smile in pride and thrust into you without anything as a break. He felt ecstatic and tried his best hiding his smile into your neck, giving it sloppy kisses before giving you one more passionate kiss as you both came together, your dress a total mess, both your bodies a sweaty mess, but a loving one at best.

He looked at you and saw the smile he waited to see for so long. He gently put your legs to the ground as he looked through his pocket.

“Don’t tell me you’re looking for a condom now that we’re just done” you muttered, earning an eye-roll from the swordman.

“I’m looking for the ring I got you, dumbass.” he bluntly stated, pulling the ring out of his pocket before putting it in your hands.

“Let me take off this ugly ass ring so I can give you mine.” He said and you let him have his way, gently laughing at his usual stubbornness. He slid his ring on your finger with a prideful and loving look, trying to conceal his blush by looking away.

“So, what’s the plan now Zo?” you asked, gazing into his good eye with more love than you thought ever existed.

“There’s none. We’ve got all the time in the world.” he responded, kissing your left hand before he heard a familiar ruckus down the hall, curtesy of his captain.

“I promise you’ll get used to it.” he shyly said as he held your hand tight, definitely not letting go, love wins all, after all.

#one piece x reader #op x reader #one piece imagine #one piece headcanon #opla x reader #one piece smut #roronoa zoro #roronoa zoro smut #zoro roronoa x reader #zoro roronoa x y/n #zoro roronoa x you

[cuntess-carmilla]

The way "alt" is done nowdays is so exasperating. People (rightfully) talk about how dark academia and cottagecore and those trends that imo aren't "alt" but are distinctive aesthetics are more in the business of looking like they're someone who reads a lot or someone who bakes and lives in the countryside respectively instead of putting any emphasis on actually reading a lot of learning substainability or homekeeping.

And the same happens with the way alt anything is being done lately and that's why so many people get so disproportionately angry and defensive when someone who's actually into a subCULTURE corrects them, especially if that person doesn't even "look" the part as much as their fake asses do.

No interest in actual countercultural politics, ideology, sentiment, praxis or even artistic expression or practice.

They want to look like they're someone who's into unfathomably obscure non-palatable music and ideas, without having to actually put any effort into cultivating their musical knowledge or identity. They want the whole VISUAL package immediately, but nothing else (hint: that's why you get called posers).

Reminds me a lot of this:

[Image description: TikTok stitch in which the first video shows user @/dormence with text printed in front of them that reads "Did you know that there's no "correct" way to dress for a goth club. The truth is that fashion is about dressing according to what's fashionable. Style is more about being yourself. Tip: Allow yourself to be ok with experimenting and blending your favorite styles until you refine into your own symbol 🖤"

The rest of the video is of user @/awfullysinister speaking to the camera.]

Transcript:

Here's a fun story for everybody. I've been involved in my local goth scene for about 10 years now, I've been going to clubs and shows and events for about 10 years, I've been a DJ in the scene for about 6 years.

A few years ago I got booked for a DJ gig for one of my friends' club nights. I was late, unfortunately. It happens. I got to the venue about 30 minutes after the night started and I looked pretty bad… Worse than usual. I didn't have my hair up, I wasn't dressed nice, I had gym shorts on and a hoodie… I just had all my stuff with me in a bag and was planning on changing in the bathroom.

And there's this guy there that was all dressed up. He's got leather pants with straps, Demonias, he's wearing a black buttoned down tshirt with a fishnet shirt underneath it, his face is full of makeup… He looked like a Chris Motionless wannabe, basically.

And as I'm walking in to walk toward the stage to put my stuff up there, then go to the bathroom to change, the Chris Motionless wannabe stops me. Like, he puts his hand out, like this, like, on my chest, and he looks at me and he goes "Oh, I'm sorry, are you lost?"

And I look at him like a deer in headlights, like… What…? He repeats the question, and I just stare at him and say "I'm DJing tonight…" and he returns the look.

Anyway, I just brush past him and I go do my thing. It was a great night, I had a great crowd to my set, everybody was dressed in all sorts of ways; some people were really dressed up, some people were just wearing a tshirt and jeans, nothing special, but they were all dancing, they were all having fun.

The Chris Motionless wannabe didn't dance ONCE, and for what I saw, it didn't look like he was having fun, it looked like he was just standing around trying to look cool. In fact, at the end of the night, one of my friends told me that a guy that kinda looked like Chris Motionless remarked about how he hated the music and wished it was heavier. I don't know exactly what that means, I'm going to assume that he wanted to hear Metal.

That was about 3 years ago, and I have not seen that guy since. Not at any clubs, not at any shows… It's like he just disappeared, and I expect that I'll probably never see him again.

Anyway, the point is; sometimes the people that keep your local goth scene going, who are dancing the most at your local clubs, and who keep goth DJs like me feeling inspired to continue doing this, and to continue to seek out new music… Sometimes those people are just wearing a tshirt and jeans and aren't all that dressed up.

And, sometimes, the people who're dressed to the nines, who look the part and have a closet full of expensive brand clothing, just stay home all day, on TikTok, pretending to be better than everybody else, with cringey usernames like "goth daddy" and "goth king" and "goth goddess". Sometimes - not always, but sometimes - those are the people I wish I never had to run into in my local scene.

Link to the TikTok

[roger-that-cap]

seven summers

bradley bradshaw x fem! reader

this my first fic in what feels like a century for a completely different fandom. i have been gathering up the courage to do this again, and i've been sitting on this for about two months now. take it easy on me y'all i feel like a sixty year old veteran re-enlisting right now and i have NO idea how to reload my weapon

warnings: absolutely none! well theyre a little sad for a minute but nothing that tumblr can't handle

word count: 5.9k

Loud spaces weren’t really in your list of favorite places. You could tolerate bars more than you could do clubs, though, and your best friend took that into consideration when she planned the night out for you two. The music was loud and the people were starting to get rowdy, but at least no one was grinding on you or begging for a dance. That was always when you would wrap it up for the night, shaking your head at even thinking that it was a good idea. 

“Thank you,” you told the bartender, an exceptionally gorgeous older woman who always seemed to have a meddling look on her face. Her hair was lightly waved around her face as she looked you up and down for a second. You thought she was going to say something, but she just nodded at you once with a small smile before you turned away again, facing the crowd of people you were about to delve back into. You were just leaving the bar top with a soda (you were the DD, as always) when you tripped over someone else’s huge shoe. 

“Oh, shit,” a manly voice said as you tripped, and hands caught your arm before you fell over all the way. You looked up and saw a blond man in an achingly familiar navy uniform looking down at you, and your eyes narrowed as his eyes grew wide. “I’m sorry.” 

His uniform nearly brought you to a scene of painful flashbacks. You knew you were bound to run into attractive men in uniforms so close to a base, but there was an air about this man that made you feel like you were almost running right through the mist, right through the shadow of a man that you once knew, and a man that wore that very same uniform as he walked away. 

You loved Alexandra, your friend you met through other friends. The only downside was that she was in the Navy, and that meant that you were almost always surrounded with memories of your ex boyfriend when you were with her. Him and that stupid uniform that stole him away. 

“No worries,” you said after a few seconds, smiling at him. “It’s crowded here.” 

“Oh, nice tattoo,” he said, and your hand immediately went to your collarbone, where the one tattoo you had rested. It was a nicely done tattoo of a honeybee, a mark of your past. Something you probably should have gotten removed, but every time you tried to convince yourself, you gave another reason to not get it removed. Deep down, you knew why you couldn’t go through with it.

“Thank you, I got it a while ago.” That was all you could say as memories flashed in your mind, but you managed to smile. 

“You look really familiar,” he said, and you noticed that he also had an air of confidence to him as well as familiarity. He was an attractive man, almost too perfect. And he had a smile that you knew lured girls in far too often to be completely innocent. 

“I’m kinda new to the area,” you said, shrugging your shoulders. “Maybe we’ve run into each other at the grocery store or something? Or if you’re a frequent flier at the hospital.” That happened a lot. People you had never had as your own patients would sometimes recognize you, especially if they were often there. 

“Yeah, maybe.” He looked you up and down one more time, almost like he was genuinely trying to figure out what his own mind was trying to remind him, before he nodded his head at you with a small smirk and a toothpick between his lips and left just as quickly as he came. And then your friend was taking his place, jabbering on about something as you tried to clear your own head. 

You never wanted to be one of those people that lived in the past, and for the most part, you weren’t. You lived in the moment. You loved to make new memories, find new things to do, and meet new people. You loved meeting new people. However, the problem with meeting new people, especially men, was that there was that one guy from that one specific relationship that you had gotten yourself in that made it feel like everything was all for nothing. 

Bradley Bradshaw. 

You didn’t even know exactly what it was. You had been in plenty of summer flings that were passionate and fun, but you got over them easily enough. You had met so many people, loved and lost, and they all stuck with you in different ways that all felt sweet in one way or another. But Bradley? There was something about him that stayed with you in a different way. The thought of him kept a lingering taste of something distinct on your tongue. 

In a way, he was the biggest waste of time you had ever spent your life on. There were two years that you shared being officially together, but it felt like forever. You should have known he was trouble the second you saw that military-grade mustache, and the confident walk he always had. You should’ve known he would cause you some pain the second his eyes and his smile proved to be a deadly combo. You poured so much love into that man in a short time in the grand scheme of things, and looking back, it was as much of a waste as it was a privilege. 

For a while, you prayed for his return. He had broken your heart right before he left for his deployment, but that didn’t mean that you wanted anything to happen to him. You prayed for a while for him to come back safely and then come right back to you, and then that progressed into you praying to never see him again. You wished for his safety, you always would, but you never wanted to hear anything about him ever again unless it was saying that he landed safely back on US soil. After that, you wanted his name to be gone with the wind and buried with the dust of time. 

Either way, he was in your thoughts forever and always, regardless of how many summers passed or how many people there were after him, how many you had met to pass the time. And as you stood in the middle of the bar with Alexandra, you were frozen in shock as you realized that you probably manifested the very fighter pilot in front of you.  

He had seen you first. He was surrounded by attractive people in uniforms that you knew had to be his friends, and when you caught the eyes of the very blond man that you fell over before pointing at you with the angle of his head, your jaw dropped a bit. The man from earlier looked at you and slapped Bradley on his back, giving a blinding smirk before saying something to him that you couldn’t hear. 

You were sure you looked silly standing there, freezing up the second you recognized him with a pool stick in your hand. You felt all the tension in your body work together to keep you as straight as a board. You blinked when your friend nudged you, completely oblivious to the mini panic attack you were about to have, and you swallowed and looked away like it didn’t nearly hurt you to stop looking at him. 

You felt like you were drowning. 

“You’re not tapping out or anything, right?” Alexandra asked, narrowing her eyes at you. “We’ve barely been here an hour, and you already have that uncomfortable look on your face.” 

“What look?” You managed to murmur, completely aware that he was still looking at you. His gaze felt as familiar as it had back then.

“The one where you’re looking for escape routes,” she teased, even though she was starting to look concerned. “You do it all the time. Hey, are you okay?” 

“Yeah!” You said, way too loud to be normal. “I’m good.”

You prayed he didn’t approach you. He had plenty of distractions on his side of the room, lots of friends to talk to even though it was obvious they were trying to get him to go over to you. You were hoping that he would never come up to you or look your way again, but you were sick to your stomach when you realized that him walking away would mean he didn’t care nearly as much as you did. 

You closed your eyes for a moment as you tried to understand that none of what you were seeing was a dream. 

“Hi!” A woman’s voice from behind you said, and you turned around. You saw a woman in uniform smiling politely at both you and Alex, and you assumed that she knew her, but then her attention was on you. “I’m sorry, I just had to come over and say I love your dress.” 

You were a simple creature, and one of your fatal flaws was that you were exceptionally friendly. That easily, the tension left your body as you spoke to the woman. You smiled kindly at her. “Thank you! I got it at a thrift store, but you can check the back to see where it’s from if you want!” She grinned at you, and then you saw her eyes wander to your hand. 

“Oh, your ring is pretty, too!” The woman said. “When’s the wedding?” She joked, and you laughed. You wanted a big wedding, back then. Back when you could see the groom in your head, imagine the words he would say, and even imagine your first name combined with his last: Bradshaw. But that was nothing now. 

“Thank you! You’re so sweet. It’s from my mom though, she gave it to me a few years ago.” She gave it to you, her big, shiny ring that her first husband had bought her just as a gift. Instead of pawning it, you begged her to have it. It had no sentimental value to you at all. It kind of looked like an engagement ring, but you couldn’t bring yourself to take it off. It warded off men for the most part, and it was a piece of her. 

“Aw, that’s so sweet. I’m Nat! Most people around here call me Phoenix.” 

You grinned at her and shook her hand before telling her your name, and you knew right then that you liked her. She was extroverted, but very polite. Just your type of person. 

“It’s nice to meet you.” 

“You too!” She smiled at you before she continued her walk to the bar, and you didn’t think anything else of the nice girl in uniform.

The next few minutes went without any issues at all, and you felt like you could ignore the situation at hand and have a good rest of the night with Alex before it was time for you guys to head home. 

“Hey.” 

You weren’t hearing his voice. You just weren’t. You made your next shot in the game and ignored him. 

You could feel him get closer to you, so close you could smell his cologne. Your eyes watered when you realized it was the very scent you picked out for him all those years ago. He still wore it. 

You heard a very manly throat clear from beside you, and you realized that he wasn’t going to give it up. “Hi,” he tried again, and you breathed through your nose and finally turned around, looking face to chest at him before you looked up. 

He was smiling down at you. He was smiling down at you as if nothing had happened, and no time had passed. You smiled back at first like muscle memory, but then your face dropped to a frown almost immediately. His smile fell, too. He nodded at your friend in acknowledgement, but she was too busy eyeing him up and trying to decide if he was a threat to you or the night to know that he was being friendly. 

“Bradshaw,” you said, and his frown got deeper when he realized you called him by his last name. He hated that. You weren’t in the Navy and you had been together, you and he always insisted you reserved the rights to using his real name. Not his call sign, not his last name, but the one his parents had given him. “It’s been a while.” 

“Bradley,” he corrected gently, almost like he thought you genuinely forgot, or like you threw out his first name from your personal dictionary. As if you could ever forget a detail about him. That was the blessing and the curse that he left you with. “You look-” he stopped talking for a moment, and you could have sworn that you saw an ocean of fondness in his pretty eyes that shouldn’t have still been there. “You’re still so beautiful.” 

Your words felt caught in your throat. You wanted to tell him that his tan made him look beautiful. You wanted to say that he had filled out so nicely, and that his scars still fit his face perfectly. You remembered kissing them while laying in the summer sun and you remembered kissing them under the tiny Christmas tree you guys had bought together and plugged in. You were both so broke it only had about ten ornaments on it, but that never mattered. Never to the two of you. “You… still have that mustache.” 

“You always liked it,” he said, a small smile coming back into his expression, but you didn’t give one back. 

“So you’ve kept it growing in hopes to run into me?” 

“Maybe I have,” he answered, and you blinked at him. He had always had a flirty personality. 

You just blinked. “Uh, yeah. That’s nice.” Was it? It was opening every old wound you had ever had. Every wound that was partially healed by another person’s fleeting kisses was being torn right back open by one sighting of Bradley Bradshaw. 

“It’s- it’s amazing to see you, how have you been?” 

You were becoming more and more confused. How in the hell was he being so chipper? Maybe chipper wasn’t the word, he was being polite. Or, maybe it was that he wasn’t falling apart like you were. How? How was he managing politeness when you were hardly breathing? The thought that he would walk away from the conversation like it never happened made you irritable and defensive at the same time. “Why do you care?” 

His brows furrowed, and he was looking at you as if you were saying all the wrong things. “Because I care how you’ve been.” 

“Why?”

He took a look at your friend, who was still staring him down. “Uh, can we talk for a second?” He asked, and you pursed your lips together. 

“No, she’s good right here,” Alexandra said, and you gave her a small smile. 

“No, it’s okay, he’s fine. He’s big, but he’s harmless.” You saw his chest puff up in just the slightest at the mention of his physique, and you rolled your eyes. “We can step outside, but I’m not going home with you.” 

“Okay!” He said, a little too loud for the setting, and you fought back a smile at how excited he was just to talk. You squashed the fondness down. “Okay, uh, come with me.” 

The second your foot hit the gravel outside, his fingers were touching yours. The touch was innocent, but you still yanked your hand away. He backed away understandingly. “Force of habit, sorry.” 

And it was. You remembered his little quirks. You were always pretty independent, and he had always been touchy and protective, so the compromise back then was that he would lay off while you were inside of a building, but he would hold your hand and guide you all he wanted to the second you walked outside. 

“I- uh, I wanted to talk about us.” 

“The past?” You said, crossing your arms. 

“We’ve known each other for a long time,” he said slowly, like he was just then realizing he was treading on very thin ice. 

“We knew each other,” you corrected, fully aware of your friend piecing the situation together by the expression on her face, and you gave her a look that held promises of filling her in. 

“Don’t be like that,” he said, coming a little closer, and you felt your eyes burn when you smelled his familiar scent even more. Your tradition of buying men cologne that matched their personalities had died after Bradley. It was something you didn’t really understand why you did it yourself, but it was fun, and Bradley loved it. He was the fourth guy you had done it with, and he was the last. It just didn’t feel right with anyone else, and it was simply something else you kissed goodbye when you and Bradley went your separate ways. 

“I’m not being any certain way.” 

“I would definitely say that we know each other,” he said, a short chuckle dying on his lips, and you could hear the hurt in his voice.  “We were together nearly every day for two years. We’d sit on the river and on the beach and talk about everything for hours. We road-tripped cross-country. I remember everything you ever told me back home, and I remember the last summer we had together like it was yesterday.” 

You looked back up at him with eyes that you knew had to be full of sadness. “That was four summers ago.” 

You saw it set in with him how much time really had gone by. You watched his eyes widen and his lips poke outwards as he breathed out. “Wow.” 

Had time really not passed for him as slowly as it did to you? 

All you could do was swallow and turn your head away from the breeze. “Yeah.” 

“Do you have a boyfriend now?” 

Part of you was so thrown by his question and his lack of tact, especially because he had been such a good flirt back then. Maybe time had changed him. “I’m married.” 

Immediately, he shook his head with a small smile. “You’re not.” 

You narrowed your eyes at him, even though you were enjoying the back and forth. It felt so familiar. “How would you know that?” 

“That was the first thing I checked before I came over,” he admitted, and you cocked your head at him. “I looked at your finger and saw the ring before you even noticed me. And then I asked Phoenix to go over to you and make sure it was what I thought it was, and I was right.” 

You gasped. You should have known that that stupid nickname was a damn callsign, the glaring beacon of a person that meant that they were a pilot. And pilots were… they were hard to love. 

“I knew that if I came over to you, there would be no way I could hold my tongue from trying to win you back, so I had to make sure you weren’t married first, at least. But I’m not even sure that would’ve stopped me,” he muttered under his breath, and you rolled your eyes. 

You were still a little bitter over him sending one of his friends to talk to you, and how well he knew you. He knew you never would have responded to a random man the same way you did Phoenix. “How do you know I don’t have a boyfriend?”

“I’m praying.” And then he sighed. “I don’t have anyone either.” 

You would have laughed in his face if you weren’t so gutted. “I find that hard to believe.”

“What do you mean?”

“Considering you broke it off so you could run around and meet other girls, I would be very shocked if you didn’t have one with a ring on her finger by now.” 

His eyes widened to a size that was almost comical. “What?” 

You rolled your eyes at him. “Before you deployed. You know, when you broke up with me so that you could go talk freely with other women.” 

His facial expression was so shocked that you almost bought it. He looked genuinely thrown in a loop by your words. “I didn’t break up with you to meet other people, Bee.” 

You nearly caught whiplash at hearing your old nickname pouring like straight up honey from his mouth. No one called you that in a long time, mostly because ‘Bee’ was reserved for Bradley after a day he met you in freshman year of college, and you did an entire presentation on conservation of bees with passion that none of the other students had in their slideshows. It was what had drawn him to you in the first place.

 “That’s what it felt like.” It still felt like that, four years later. 

“No, no,” he said, shaking his head slowly. You hated how handsome he looked even when he was confused.  But he had no right to look confused. “That’s not what happened at all.” 

Your tone said it all for you as you crossed your arms. “Um, that’s what I remember, Bradshaw.” 

He ignored what you called him, but you saw it in his eyes that it still bothered him. “I cut it off because I felt awful that you were going to be forced to wait for me,” he said, taking a step closer, and you saw his sad brown eyes begging you to listen. “We were still so young, you were even younger than me. It wasn’t fair for me to ask you to keep waiting for me, especially because I kept going on dangerous deployments.” 

His words were bouncing around in your head. You calculated what he was saying, narrowing your eyes and trying to make sense of how it was changing your entire perspective of what happened, second by second. 

“Are you fucking stupid?” You blurted, but he wasn’t surprised. In fact, he looked relieved. You never really made a habit of swearing, not even while arguing, but when you rarely let a word slip, it meant that you cared a lot. 

Bradley wasn’t quite sure which way you cared and if it was in a good way or a bad way, but he was determined to change the passion to a way that would benefit the both of you. 

“If you want me to be,” he rasped, and you narrowed your eyes at him. 

“Did you just say you didn’t want me to wait for you?” 

He blinked. “Yeah. You were what, twenty three? Your whole life was ahead of you. It wasn’t fair for you to have to wait for me to come home when you… you’re full of so much life. You had just gotten your dream job at the hospital, and you were so happy. If you were to stick it out with me gone, you would just have to decide between your job and me anyway when I got home. I ended up getting stationed somewhere else not too long after I came back home, just like I knew I would.” 

“Bradley, I told you I wanted to travel, anyway. That job was not my forever job.” 

“But-”

“I was prepared to wait for- for forever.” It was his turn to look shocked. “I really would have, Bradley. You just never even gave me the chance to. You pulled the rug out underneath me. You didn’t even ask me.” 

He ran a hand over his face as the weight of the decision he made for the both of you settled heavy on his chest. “Oh, god.” 

“I assumed you were deploying and you wanted to meet new people. I mean, I know that a lot of… you guys are cheaters. The stereotypes are true a lot of the time. I just figured you were sparing me from the cheating and cutting it off before it could get to that point.” 

“Oh, god, no.” He shook his head. “You- thought I was cheating on you?” 

“Well- what else was I supposed to think?” 

“I would never,” he said, using his hands to make a broad “no” gesture. “You’ve always been it for me, ever since we met. There couldn’t have been anyone else, and there hasn’t been this whole time.” 

You tried to mask the way you were falling into a puddle at his feet. “You’re so dumb.” 

“Is it dumb of me to think you’ll hear me out a little more?” 

You rolled your eyes at him, but your skin felt like it was on fire being so close to him again. “You’re plenty dumb, Rooster.” 

“You never called me Rooster.” 

“Well, I don’t know Bradley anymore.” 

“I- why are you saying that?” He asked, and his face grew even more distraught. “You do know me. Nothing’s changed. Nothing is different at all besides the time. I still- there’s nothing that has changed about the way I feel for you.” 

“What do you want me to say?” You couldn’t confess your love to him again. You loved him, a part of you always would, but you couldn’t handle him coming out of the blue and telling you everything you had secretly been wishing he would say to you for years. He was coming in like a dream. It was far too good to be true. “We got lost in translation four years ago and there's nothing we can do about it. Unless you and your pilot friends have been smart enough to build a time machine.” 

“I would build a thousand time machines if it meant that I could change what I did, I was stupid. I was so stupid.” He stepped closer. “But I never stopped loving you. Not even once.” 

A tear ran down your face, and that’s when you knew it was time to go find Alexandra again. “I-I gotta go, Bradley.” Before you could even turn around all the way, he took you by your hips and turned you back around, both pairs of your eyes wide mirrors of the other. 

“I have been haunted by the thought of you for four years now,” he said, voice as soft and gentle as the breeze, but the grip he had on your hips was so desperate it almost made you sob. “I haven’t even- I’ve tried, but there hasn’t been anyone else. Not emotionally. Not even close, Bee.” 

You couldn’t say the exact same. You tried and succeeded for a time, but they were never complete fixes. Just when you thought you were happy with someone else and free of the clutches of Bradley Bradshaw, he snuck right back. He ripped that rug out from under you every time without fail without even being present. That was your problem with each “relationship”, you were looking for a remedy and closure for a relationship that the next person had no idea about and no obligation to make better. 

But you had definitely been haunted by the lack of Bradley Bradshaw. He was there all the time with you in your mind, whether you wanted him or not. 

“This,” you said, shaking your head, and judging by the look on his face, he knew he was losing you. “This is a lot.” 

“Wait, don’t walk away. I just got you back.” 

“I’m not back, Bradley.” 

“You’re back in front of me,” he said, and you stopped turning away from him. “That’s all I could ask for. Even if you want nothing else to do with me ever again, I just want to stand here and look at you for one more minute. Please.” 

You put your hands over your face the second you felt your eyes start to burn and overflow with tears. You could feel his energy before you even felt his true touch, and the second you felt his arms around you, you broke down. 

“I thought- I thought you were so nervous a few days before you left because you were going to propose to me.” 

You couldn’t believe the words that were leaving your mouth. You had been so humiliated about jumping to conclusions that you hadn’t even told Alexandra about that part. You never planned on telling anyone that was the reason why you were so hurt, especially not the man who caused you all that pain. It had been sitting heavy on your chest, the humiliation and the sadness alike, for all four summers. You never planned on letting it loose. 

But you had already said it. 

“You boys get married so fast, and honestly, I was ready. I thought you were nervous because you were going to ask me to marry you, not because you were breaking up with me.”

 “Oh.” 

“It gutted me so bad when you broke it off. I thought it was going to be the opposite- I thought we were going to start our lives together and then you just…” you looked down at the ground as you tried to swallow back down the memory, even though everything was coming back so strong. “It was gone, that fast. And I realized I loved you a lot more than you ever loved me, obviously.” 

“That's not even close to being true,” he said, shaking his head rapidly. “You can ask any of the guys I shipped out with. I was fucking miserable the whole time. And I know you don’t know the new guys I’m with, but this new squad even knows that there’s nobody else. You’re the one that got away.” 

“You let me go,” you corrected, and he smiled sadly. 

“Because I loved you.” 

“That’s so fucking dumb,” you said, but you couldn’t stop yourself from getting closer to him. “That’s for fairytales, stupid.”

You felt yourself leaning into him, and he was letting you. His body language was inviting you in. You could see it in his eyes and you could feel his hands trembling as he moved them from your waist to hover over your back, like he was ready to pull you into him the second you gave in. You knew it was only a matter of time before you did give in, and the longer you felt his hands hover over you like you were stained glass, the more you craved his familiar, burning touch. You felt the pull to him like you were magnets. Like he was the sun and you were Icarus. You were the moth to his enticing flame, but he had always seen you as a butterfly. You were terrified to get burned for the second time, and fall from grace all over again. 

“That one pilot said he recognized me,” you blurted, and you felt his eyes on you even though you couldn’t look at him. “I’ve never met him before, have I?” You might have. You used to know a lot of his old friends. He shook his head. “How did he know me?” 

Without hesitation, his answer came. “I have pictures of you in my cockpit.” 

That was what threw you.  “What?”

“Most pilots keep photos of important people in their cockpit. It reminds them to fly safer. In the worst cases, it’s so that they can see a glimpse of family before they go down.” 

Your heart was soaring so high that it was breaking with the pressure of it. “You have a picture of me in there?” 

He had absolutely no shame about it as he nodded his head firmly. “Yeah, I have pictures of you. In my cockpit and in my locker.” Were you his screensaver, too? You didn’t know. 

But you were in his locker. It made your heart flutter and it sent you right back to highschool. “More than one?” 

“I have so many that my squad recognized you without me even saying anything. Hangman was the one who told me you were here.” 

“Oh.” 

He kicked the rocks underneath his foot, and then he was squinting back down at you. “You thought- you thought I was going to ask you to marry me?” 

Just like that, your soaring, cracking heart plummeted again. “You don’t have to rub it in, Bradley.” 

“No, it’s not that at all. I just- you would’ve said yes?” 

“Of course I would have said yes, stupid.” You ignored how his eyes lit up and turned your body away with crossed arms. He was always so expressive, even when he didn’t want to be. “But that was a long time ago.” 

“Not too long,” he rushed, and you shook your head. 

You fought the urge to roll your eyes, especially because it was mostly to get the tears away. “It was a while ago, Bradley.” 

“There’s no amount of time apart that would make me not want to be with you, Bee.” 

Your head swiveled to him upon hearing your nickname from him again. “It- it doesn’t just work like that, dude.” 

“Why not?” 

“We were stupid back then. We lived off of blind faith and a whole lot of hopes. It doesn’t work that way anymore.”

“We make our own rules, that’s the glory of being adults.” He took your hands and you faced him, and the hope in his expression nearly floored you. “Who said we can’t pick up where we left off?” 

You scoffed, even though you weren’t even close to laughing. “You’re crazy.” 

“Crazy about you, but you’ve always known that,” he said with a smile. “You’ve always known how to work with it, too.” 

For a moment, you felt a glimmer of hope and you felt the whisper of a smile come onto your face. And then you crashed again, and he must have seen it all over your face because his own smile went away and was replaced by concern. Before he could even ask what happened that fast, you threw your face into his chest and wrapped your arms around him. 

He held you back just as quickly, and you knew he had been waiting for you. He smelled like home and he even felt like it, and when you opened your eyes all you could see was that stupid, loud Hawaiian print. 

“I-if we do this again you- I can’t handle it if you leave me again. I couldn’t take it. Please, Bradley.” 

“Don’t you even worry about that,” he said firmly, holding you so close that it felt like the two of you were physically molding together. “If you give me the chance, I want a shot at forever.” 

You pulled your wet face away from his shirt and looked up at him as your heart raced in your chest. “Huh?” 

He stared down at you for a moment, and you could see in his ever-expressive eyes that he was thinking about saying something to you that was about to change everything. “I fully intend to become your husband when we’re ready, if you let me. Just the way you wanted, and the way I’ve always dreamed about. I’m not going anywhere.” 

The logical part of you knew that he was being ridiculous. Bradley was nothing if not overzealous, nothing if not reaching for goals that were just short of being unattainable. He was the version of Icarus that always managed to get back to earth safely by the skin of his teeth. He always put the cart before the horse, but somehow he always managed to get there. 

So, you knew he was being serious. As crazy as he sounded, he was. 

“Do you really mean that?” You didn’t have to ask that question. In fact, the words felt like acid on your tongue, but your heart pressed you to ask it anyway. 

“Nothing could get me to leave you again, especially not my own stupidity.” He was holding you even tighter. “I promise.” 

You were going to hold him to that with the same intensity that he held you with. 

*****

oh boy.

so this one i’ve been sitting on forever and i’m tired of looking at it, but i have nothing but love for this fic that is pulling me out of a writing slump. i wrote it out of pure love for rooster though so i felt like i had to share it!! also- this comes from two main things;

two songs (“7 summers” and “ ‘98 braves” by morgan wallen) and then me being dumb enough to get involved with a military man of my own. he’s been gone for a while so i’m manifesting he comes back soon. anyone who is thinking about getting with a person- especially man- in the military (i can only speak for the united states military bc that’s where i’m from), you better be tough. i know they look good. i know they have this energy to them- trust me i’ve been obsessed since i was like 15. way before top gun maverick. but if you’re gonna be stupid, you better be tough 💀💀💀 and if you need any guidance to being stupid, i’m always here!!!

if you’re new here thanks for stopping by and checking it out! if you’re from an old fandom of mine but read it anyways i love you so much, it means a lot. 💕💕💕

#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #tgm #rooster x reader #my fics #bradley bradshaw x reader #heaven help me why am i writing again #lys’s fics #top gun maverick #top gun fanfiction #bradley bradshaw fluff

[l1vchuu]

resentment. part three

!! warnings: slight mentions of sh, angst, slow burn, strong language.

And Simon stood there, in silence. The slight yellow rays of the rising sun filled the now empty room- well, half empty. The walls- before filled with your favorite music artists and films, your bed- once piled with your fluffy little animals from Ikea and sheets- once warm and packed with your scent. Now everything was empty and dull- just like the way he had treated you the past few months.

His mind went blank- was he hallucinating? Were you there?

He looked around again, his gaze had sharpened. Did you request to have your own room? Where the hell were you? Why didn't you tell him?

Ghost closed the door behind him, making his way to Price's office- maybe he will tell him.

As the elevator closed its' doors behind him, he strode to the Captain's door, knocking three times before entering.

"Good morning, L.T."

"Good morning, Captain."

Price looked at the sight in front of him- a tall, masked, tired man. He knew what he was going to ask him- and he knew damn well how to answer.

Simon stood there, quite hesitant to ask the thing he had been thinking of- actually, he hadn't prepared the question at all- so the silence filled the room again until Price spoke up.

"She took a break- you will have your own room for a while."

A break? Ghost thought to himself.

"How long?"

Price took a sip from his coffee.

"A month. For now."

A month? A week or two- fine- but a month?

"Is there a particular reason-"

"No reason included."

Price turned to face him.

You and Ghost made quite the pair ever since they introduced him to you. You were always his sparring partner, and so was he. He only ate food if you were around, and so did you. You only accepted a mission only if he was there, and so did he.

After years of being friends and colleagues, you two became inseparable- which meant that absolutely everyone on the team knew that something was wrong. And only one person was to blame, right?

The Captain sighed, nodding his head slightly- a habit of his.

"You don't know, do you?"

Simon's head perked up.

"Know what?"

"She fainted yesterday. She was on the bed for a long time- and she basically looked like a corpse."

Price put his mug down.

"Look, Riley. I'm not the one to get into this mess- but I'm sure the others won't tell you, so I will. The nurse wrote that she fainted out of exhaustion- but that won't explain the cuts and bruises on her body, right? Did you even notice her change in behavior?"

Simon gulped.

"No, I didn't."

"You didn't notice anything? Nothing?"

"No."

Price massaged his temples.

"Our job is to make sure that our soldiers are in good shape and health, Riley. And she is one of our best."

Simon sighed. His mind was blank. Truly. Blank.

"I know, Captain. I've been on night shifts a lot and-"

"We all know what the real reason is, Lieutenant. Drop the excuses."

Price interrupted him, his tone was stricter now.

"Again, what I was saying was- You can't keep doing this. We can't let this team break the trust we have built for years. If one person goes down, so do the others. Understand?"

"Yes, Captain."

"I don't know what happened, and it is not my place to do so. I'm saying this as a regular person- try to fix whatever the fuck is going on."

Simon stayed still and silent. His eyes looked tired, but his gaze was strong.

Price sighed again, motioning him to the door.

"This is not a good thing, son. You have a month to figure it out."

As Simon stepped to the door, Price followed behind him.

"And you better pray she won't fucking quit in the meantime."

These were the last words Price had said before Simon left the office.

-

You arrived at the airport, a place you hadn't seen in a long time. You didn't notify anybody of your arrival because you needed to be alone- you wanted to be alone.

You took a ride to your college apartment, glad that it is still for rent. As the taxi passed through the streets, the trees danced to the wind and the sunlight flew through the air. It was about 8 am and the shops were just opening their doors to the public.

The taxi stopped in front of the apartment complex. You paid the driver and got your things to your old apartment without any worries.

You finally had time- time to think everything through and manage your feelings, time to heal.

You looked at yourself in the mirror, it was the first time you paid any attention to your appearance and you barely recognized it. Your eyes were swollen and empty, your skin was pale and dry, your arms were scratched up- a habit you had when you felt nervous, and your thighs had bandaids.

You had forgotten about it- you hoped you never remembered it. A few weeks ago you almost began an argument with Ghost, but it just ended up with you staying alone in the bathroom, your tactical knife in your hands, and a whole lot of tears and physical pain. You never resolved problems this way, never. Self-inflicted wounds are something you hadn't done to yourself ever since high- school. So you thought about it- Why did I react like that?

You cleaned and stitched up your wounds after you had showered- your skin was hot and soft from the boiling water. It was quite frankly the first time you had taken such a long shower- but it helped you calm down.

Laid in your bed, bags scattered all over the place, you looked at the ceiling and thought about the upcoming month. What were you going to do? Well, you had money from your last paycheck- so you didn't need to worry about that, you need to do something to get you out of your mind, just like the old high school times. What did you do in order to forget about everything? Oh yeah, you joined the military.

There were many other things you could do- maybe go to see a therapist. No, not a good idea. Why? What will I say to them, I don't know what I'm feeling. We'll figure that out.

Jokes aside, you genuinely didn't know how you felt. What was it that bothered you? Why did you feel like that? Absolutely. no. fucking idea.

You hated everything around you, about you, including you. You felt like crawling out of your skin and existing without being perceived as a living person. You felt like a piece of flesh, slowly rotting into the ground, hoping for the bugs to come and consume you whole. You wish to be buried deep into the earth's core, maybe the warmth will be enough to comfort you. You prayed that one day people would walk through you as if you never existed. You prayed that one day people would say your name and not have you in their minds. You didn't want to exist.

But on the other hand, you wanted people to think about you and notice you. You wanted to be taken care of, to be perceived as a human with feelings. You wanted to be held and have sweet things whispered into your ear. You wanted people to smile as you passed by, people to remember little details about you. You wanted people to think about you when you weren't around.

Everything was so confusing to you at the moment. You stared at your empty phone, looking at all of the names of people who you used to talk to before. You weren't allowed any contact with your teammates if you were away- no calls, no messages, no emails. The only way they could possibly make any contact with you is through letters. Will someone write to me? you thought to yourself. Yeah, you said to Price that you didn't want him to notify anyone of your leave- but surely someone would've noticed by now, right? Will someone notice my absence?

But you were away. You were away from the base, away from all of the oils and gunpowder, away from the ink and the papers, away from the tablets and computers, away from the stingy coffee and oatmeal, away from the ripstop and the uniforms, away from the steel and guns. Away from everything.

The first thing that you could try to fix was your eating habits. You barely ate a meal a day for a month and your body was begging for it. But it wasn't going to be easy, of course. You still couldn't bring yourself to have any type of appetite. You still felt the salty taste of your tears on your tongue, and you could feel shivers down your spine. Maybe you could go grocery shopping? Maybe that could help.

You lazily stepped out of your bed, put on casual clothes, and headed out the door with nothing in mind- you'll figure it out.

-

It was a normal day at the base. Everyone was doing their daily routines and their assigned work, training, or planning any new missions. It was the quiet season- there wasn't anything crazy going on, which meant that the atmosphere was lighter than usual. It was everybody's favorite time of the year, except Christmas or Halloween.

Simon was sitting in his shared office, his desk being next to Kyle's. It wasn't a normal day for him though, his mind wandered all around you.

Ghost has suffered through most of his life, given the fact that all of his family was murdered because of him, and he has been imprisoned and tortured by a Mexican cartel. In papers, he is often marked as dead and he constantly wears a mask in order to protect his identity and uses it to cope with his traumas. He often has nightmares and hallucinations, which you used to help him with- would it be staying all night talking or maybe distracting yourselves with movies. He has a long history of disorders, which was the reason why you and he got so close. You coped together, you brought comfort to each other. He was the first person on the team that you got comfortable enough with to share your past, and so did he. It wasn't pity that brought you guys together- it was genuine coping and the need to get better, you healed together.

And there he sat, knowing the fact that he had possibly ruined all the progress you had made.

.⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.☆.｡.:

Heya! This part was short, for which I apologize- it's supposed to be more of a 'filler', in order to get the emotions flowing in. But don't worry, part 4 will come shortly after, with more action and sadness! (just kidding, or..?) If you liked this part, make sure to like or reblog <: See you next time, lovelies <33

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #call of duty x reader #cod #cod mw2 #ghost x reader #call of duty fanfic #ghost fanfiction #simon riley #ghost cod #ghost mw2 #simon ghost riley fanfic #cod mw2 fic #modern warfare 2 #modern warfare x reader #cod angst

[piscespetals]

summary: part 2 of a night out with sevika. read part one here.

content: nothing but lesbian yearning and fluff.

enjoy!

"So were you always a vegetarian?" Sevika asks.

"Not always. I lost a bet and had to follow the diet for two weeks. I ended up liking it enough to stick with it."

She fights off a smirk, taking a swig of her beer. "A fucking bet?"

Your body temperature rises from the scrutiny. "It's a bit unorthodox but..." You shrug helplessly. "It's been two years since then. At least that shows that I can keep my word."

She chuckles. "Touché."

You allow the air to envelop with silence as you take a bite of your burger. It really is good. You've quickly grown to realize that Sevika has a bit of an ego. The moment you mentioned how well you liked it, her head practically swelled up to the size of a balloon. But as much as you don't want to admit it, it's quite attractive.

"I can get a bit neurotic about vegetarian food, if I'm being honest. I've always thought about opening my own vegetarian restaurant one day. Veggie recipes are a huge passion of mine. I know it may sound a bit ridiculous to some people. But it's what I enjoy. I don't know..." You try to shove down the shame that accompanies that admission. The atmosphere becomes a bit too truthful for you to meet Sevika's gaze head on. But you do manage to see her shrug out of the corner of your eyes.

"We all get that way about something in our lives," Is her reply. "For me, I have an awful obsession with the Marvel universe. I've cosplayed some characters from there a few times."

You nearly choke on your fries.

You don't know much about Marvel but the idea of Sevika in a superhero costume is enough for you—

"Do you like Marvel?" She questions.

"I haven't watched any of the movies." That's when you deem it safe enough to glance at her. Her expression remains neutral despite your confession. Even though it sounds silly, a part of you wants to see her brilliant smirk again; wants to entertain the possibility of hanging out, like this, with her again. So you add, "But I wouldn't mind learning some things about it, if you were the one to teach me."

It's too late when you realize the weight of what the fuck you've actually said—and how suggestive it can come across.

Her shoulders tense, brows raising as her head snaps to look at you with darker eyes.

"Are you flirting with me?" Her lips slowly spread into a smirk.

You shrug unintelligently, not sure what to say; not sure if you want to say anything at all.

Sevika chucks. You almost allow yourself to believe that she's stunned. "Well then..."

She takes her time in chugging the rest of her beer down, tilting her head back. Your eyes manage to catch on a stream of beer that trickles from her chin to the base of her neck. A few veins are prominent through the flesh of her throat and they tense with each gulp she takes. After a few moments, she slams the beer bottle back down on the table, tongue jutting out to swipe against her bottom lip.

Holy fuck.

"Just let me know whenever you want to watch some of those movies." She finishes, waving down one of the bartenders with her credit card. "I'd be down anytime, sweetheart."

Twenty minutes later, Sevika is standing outside with you in the parking lot.

"I've kept you out too late. "She announces, rocking back and forth on her heels. "I'm a bit of an insomniac. I forget that people have normal bedtimes." Her eyes dance to a space behind you. She purposely avoids your gaze, but you're able to read between the lines. In some subtle, Sevika-like way, this is her apologizing. A polite acknowledgement that she's indeed kept you past your bedtime.

"You're fine." You preoccupy yourself by staring at her cupid's bow. "I don't think it's too late."

The fog of the biting cold air wafts between you two as Sevika nods shortly. You rest your back against the driver door of your car, reluctant to say goodbye despite just spending numerous hours with the woman in front of you.

There's a drag of tranquility. A small unsettling sadness nestles itself in your gut. This is the part where you both are supposed to say goodbye for the time being. But you don't want your night with Sevika to end so soon. You play with the hem of your shirt, mouth pooling with saliva and heart hammering in your chest. What exactly should you say? Or do? A handshake? A wave?

It feels silly to be so speechless.

"May I embrace you?" Sevika abruptly asks.

Your head shoots up, completely thrown off by the question. You almost lose your bearings from the way she peers down at you. Her stare is forgiving.

"Embrace me?" You repeat, amused by her choice of words. Her eyes narrow at the teasing lilt in your voice.

You've never seen her express the desire to show physical affection to anyone—even your mutual friends.

So Sevika asking you for a hug is unimaginable.

But beyond that, anyone asking you for a hug is something that you've never encountered before. You don't get to experience affection very much in life.

"Well, since you wanna be like that," She grunts. "Nevermind."

"Oh come on, don't be silly." You laugh, sending her a gentle smile. "I was just teasing. You can always hug me, you know."

She has full permission to hold you until the world fucking ends, for all you care.

But of course, you're not brave enough to tell her that.

Instead, you reach out towards her, hands gripping onto the flaps of her leather jacket.

For a split second, you freeze because you notice that her eyes have turned a scorched grey. Her gaze alone sets you on fire, blazes right through you—undeniably ardent—until you're nearly burnt out from her. It's a feeling that you'll never forget; a feeling you'd welcome a thousand times more.

Your breath catches. Then time resumes and your grip on her jacket tightens. Most definitely a bit too eager, you pull her towards you.

You're not sure how long the embrace lasts. You're only able to focus on the feeling of her arms encircling your waist; on how good her cologne smells while you rest your chin on her shoulder. And in that moment, you're reminded that the draw to Sevika is completely like no other.

"Talking with you was nice." She speaks, voice low as her lips tickle the tips of your ear. Then she's pulling back, just far enough so that she can look into your eyes.

"Yeah, it was."

"We should do this again."

You nod, swallowing thickly. You're not sure exactly what this is. You just know that you want more of it. "Literally, stop by Leo's place anytime, since you know, he loves when you come by." Do you sound desperate? "I mean....if you want. I-If you have free time—that is. Then we can hang out again. You can just call me. Or text, if you're not the type to call. And we can plan something. You know, without, like, our usual friends around."

Somehow, her hand comes to rest on your chin, thumb lingering inches below your lip as she tilts your head back to meet her gaze. Your stomach flips.

"But yeah." You add, failing to ignore the way that her teeth nibble on her lips. They look gentle and...Oh, God. "I, uh...yeah, of course. Let's do this again."

She smiles, showing you a gap and pearly whites. "You already said that."

"Oh." You clear your throat and shift your feet. "Right. That's right. You're right."

Fuck.

You are so gone for her.

And it's not helping that she's peering at you with that fucking look in her stunning grey eyes. She has a smile that could kill and a searing touch that you forever want to bathe yourself in.

The air around you crackles and smells of her, a mouthwatering woodsy cologne that shoots straights to your knees and nearly causes them to buckle. Her lips are beautiful; lips that are surely only made for movie stars—and now her. Lips that you want to taste; that you want to know.

Her large hands are spread across the nape of your neck when she inches closer, grinning at the sound of your breath catching. "Are you always this tongue-tied?" Her nose grazes yours. "Or is it just me that affects you this way?"

Your eyes widen. Her breath tickles your cheeks when she laughs. Despite the amusement behind her words, you feel yourself fall deeper into the abyss of her allure. She's been teasing you all night—you hate it, yet love it.

Your throat catches, "Wouldn't you like you know."

Sevilla's head tilts slightly. She observes you with an expression of unadulterated hunger, glancing over every inch of your face. It's primal and visceral. "I would."

Your heart leaps up into your throat, lodging there and beating with all of it's might.

"Is it just me?" She whispers, much more forthright this time.

You don't ignore the way that those words hold more than just one meaning.

Is it just her?

For fucks sake.

Of course it is.

Because why would—

How can she not know?

The goddamn sincerity in her question cuts straight through you.

Your head swims.

"Sev," You mumble. Your fingers find solace in the belt loops of her jeans, hanging onto them as if they're your lifeline. "It's most definitely just you." Then you're shaking your head, letting your forehead fall against one of her shoulders in embarrassment. You groan under your breath, a shiver coursing through you as you realize that she has you completely wrapped around her finger.

"I was hoping so." She chuckles. The sound washes over you, igniting a laugh of your own. Her hands drop from your neck, fingers trailing lightly down your back until they reach your hips.

You shudder in delight.

"And the entire nervous-rambling thing?" Sevika replies. "It's really fucking cute by the way."

Your heart skips a beat from her confession and you allow yourself to fully embrace the feeling.

#fanfic #lesbian #arcane au #au writing #fluff #sevika #sevika x reader #arcane netflix #arcane women #piscespetals writing #sevika pls marry me #bisexual #queer #sevika x you #sevika imagine #arcane sevika #soft!sevika

[tired-teacher-blog]

Last dance

Characters : Dabi/ Fem reader

Genre : Angst/ Fluff/ Drabble

Summary : After revealing his truth to the world, Touya was left with a desperate need for your touch.

Notes : Struggling through my writer's block so I hope this doesn't suck. Just a little brain training before I delve into my requests (hopefully very soon) so to anyone who has sent me anything I'm really sorry for keeping you waiting.

Masterlist|Second Masterlist

You were the first one, the first one to ever hear the name Todoroki Touya moving past the man's own lips after being resurrected as Dabi.

The notorious villain chose to tell you long before broadcasting his truth to the public, and the day he did so, was the one you've become certain of your feelings for him.

You observed with wide eyes and a tense body while he bared it all to you without an ounce of doubt or hesitation in his being, and you were mesmerized as he held your hands and spoke for hours, keeping nothing to himself as he has finally found the one with whom he could share his everything.

It was a lot, for both of you, it even seemed like a twisted joke at first, one you weren't sure how to react to until you looked into his eyes and understood the significance of his words, that no matter how unbelievable it sounded to you, it was actually the truth, plain and simple..

That was months ago, and now that you're watching his carefully plotted plan unfolding before your eyes, you were suddenly reminded of that fateful day.

_ "Touya.. why.." you choked out as your eyes took in his hysterical outburst through your TV screen.

Did you want it to come to this? To see him sink deeper into the abyss? Certainly not.

Did you support his decision nonetheless? Of course you did, because no matter how hard it was for you to witness, it is still the closure he's been craving for years.

However, you knew what was coming afterwards -of course you did- because when everything was said and done, only a shell of that already broken man was what remained, a fragile flimsy shell..

_ "I've been waiting for you." you smiled lovingly as soon as you opened the door to his exhausted slouching frame.

Faint moonlight illuminated the face of the man standing before you, adding a mystical beauty to his desolate expression.

He said nothing, -neither did he have to- taking a few steps closer and pulling you in his arms as he finally allowed a relieved sigh to leave his heavy chest.

He was disheveled.. clothes burnt and stained, hair messy and sticking to his sweaty forehead, a few cuts here and there but fortunately nothing serious.. disheveled, but to you he still looked beautiful, the most beautiful in the world.

You stood there in his arms, right in the entrance of your cosy home as quiet and tranquility engulfed you both, and that was all he needed, you were all he needed.

You caressed his stiff shoulders and kissed his barely covered chest before taking a step back and dragging him inside along with you.

He followed you obediently, still saying no words as he did, until you reached your bed and helped him shed the remnant of the filthy garments sticking to his body before settling under the covers together, and that was when he finally let out a shaky tired laugh that caught you off guard.

_ "I did it, but for some reason I feel even worse now."

Of course he would feel worse, you had absolutely no doubt about it, but that wasn't what's important at the moment, it was him, just him.

_ "I know, but it will get better eventually I promise." you laced your fingers through his soft snow white hair as he pushed his face deeper against your neck and let out a small groan.

He pulled you unbelievably close to him, his arms almost crushing you between them but it didn't matter, you needed it as much as he did.

Your warm hands moved to roam every inch of him they could reach, and a painful pang pierced your heart as you felt his expanding burns.

_ "Things will get more complicated from now on, so please know that I'm here for you, through it all," you gently kissed the top of his head between your whispered words, smiling as you felt him nod against your skin, and it was as if he wanted you to say more, and so you did, "I wish there was anything more I could do, but I promise I'm always on your side, no matter what." you struggled to keep your voice stable for his sake, mind picturing the outcome of your boyfriend's latest bombshell as well as the heroes foreseen retaliation against the villains.

_ "That's all I need y/n, you." he leaned back to focus on your face, the very one he yearned to hold in his hands for days, his rough fingers caressing your soft cheeks, and turquoise irises gazing into your soul.

He smiled at last, a soft loving one before closing the gap between your lips, kissing you so tenderly that no one would believe him to be the same infamous villain they call Dabi, but he is..

He is as deranged and cruel as he is gentle and affectionate, unfazed by the way you bring out that soft side he manages to keep well hidden.

You, the one who's always been his one and only certainty, his unquestionable belief, the one who stood by him despite your contradicted attitudes towards the way of dealing with his issues.. and you will always continue to be there for him, even if he goes mad, even if he burns down the world -and you with it-, you will smile as you perish under his feet..

_ "I'm yours Touya."

#dabi x reader #dabi imagine #dabi fluff #dabi x y/n #dabi headcanons #dabi x you #dabi fic #dabi fanfic #todoroki touya x reader #todoroki touya fluff #todoroki touya #touya todoroki x reader #touya todoroki fluff #touya todoroki x you #todoroki toya x reader #toya todoroki #toya todoroki x reader #toya todoroki fluff #boku no hero fanfic #my hero academia fluff #my hero academia fanfic #bnha fluff #mha fluff #bnha fic #mha fic #bnha fanfiction #mha fanfiction

[magical-regical]

Continuing my L&DS hyperfixation but also because Owl City just released a new single, here are some owl city songs that remind me of each LI and Caleb

Go under the cut if you want some extremely long commentary on why I picked the songs I did. If you don't care what I have to say, please peruse this TLDR;

Xavier: If My Heart Was a House

Zayne: Car Trouble

Rafayel: My Muse, Rainbow Veins

Caleb: Hot Air Balloon, The Bird and The Worm

Ah you're still here. A few disclaimers before you continue:

Whenever I mention MC in this, I will be using she/her pronouns.

I haven't listened to every owl city song in existence and some songs didn't stick with me the way the songs listed here did so if you think my takes are garbage and I'm a big dumb stupid idiot for not considering the song you're thinking of, uh, feel free to make your own post abt it.

I know sweet f a abt music theory so I'm just going based off vibes and lyrics not composition.

I haven't read Xavier's or Zayne's myth stories to completion and haven't read Rafayel's at all.

Anyway, without further ado, enjoy my lukewarm takes.

Xavier

This song makes me so soft and it's way too easy to imagine Xavier and MC dancing to this. The first lines sound like he's reminiscing of the time he had with MC in her past lives,

You're the sky that I fell through, and I remember the view whenever I'm holding you

The sun hung from a string, looking down on the world as it warmed over everything.

Chills run down my spine as our fingers entwine and your sighs harmonize with mine.

Unmistakably, I can still feel your heart beat fast when you dance with me.

He pulls her in closer as the first pre-chorus plays. And the two pre-chorus' in this song sound like a conversation between him and his memory of past!MC.

The first one:

We got older and I should've known,

Do you feel alive?

That I'd feel colder when I walk alone

Oh, but you'll survive

The second one:

I walk slowly when I'm on my own

Do you feel alive?

Yea but frankly, I still feel alone.

Oh, but you'll survive

And then the chorus hits and the vibes are immaculate. It feels like you're floating on air and imagine how Xavier looks at MC when the last few lines play,

Risk it all 'cuz I'll catch you if you fall,

Wherever you go,

If my heart was a house, you'd be home.

Because she is the celestial body that orbits around him, his north, his guiding star, and his heart will always be her home.

Zayne

And you can't convince me this isn't one of the songs that plays at their wedding.

This is the catalyst of this post's creation. As of writing this, it's the newest single and I am obsessed with it. So strap in folks, I have a lot to say.

First of all, the first thirty seconds of this song was released as a preview titled 'Floppy Fish' that came out ten years ago and we didn't hear anything else about it until suddenly we get a tweet about it four days ago (as of writing this part) and then this masterpiece. I think it reflects Zayne and MCs relationship quite well, they were childhood friends, lost contact for a while, and now they're reunited to build another beautiful relationship.

On to the song itself, the overall song is about going back to see the person you love even through all sorts of car troubles. The car theme immediately screamed 'Zayne' to me because out of all the boys we see him drive MC around the most.

It's a very upbeat song which contrasts Zayne's stoic personality but the whole song is something I can imagine actually happening to him.

I see the first verse as Zayne trying his damndest to finish up work instead of having actual car troubles,

I've been driving all afternoon, but I hate to say it, I won't be there soon = him working all afternoon and still having to do overtime

And though I'm late you know I just can't wait to come home to my slice of heaven on toast.

But my GrandPrix broke down without fail, another flat tire and another nail = the 'tire' being the hearts he has to operate on and 'another nail' referring to his surgeon's tools (even though the nail in the song is the thing that broke the tire in the first place not the thing fixing the flat)

I miss your smile but this could take a while 'cause this 'road closed' sign says there's no way around. = he can't just ditch work, obviously.

The second verse and chorus is him actually running out of gas on his way back from Akso and just describes his situation. Walking through the rain, only stopping to buy flowers for her.

Hey, it's kinda crazy what daisies jasmines can do.

And then these lines from the third verse,

I'd hand you a coffee right when you woke up

and

... all I find is all these highways wind and lead back to my slice of heaven on toast.

are so cute. Especially the 'slice of heaven on toast' thing since I imagine a slice of heaven on toast would taste sweet.

But wait, it gets better. Because the chorus that comes after goes,

Oh would your heart kind of glow if I held your hand and I promised to stay home?

Hey, when I blow in that's the first thing I'll do

It might take me forever

It might take me forever

But I love you forever and I can't wait to see you.

I'm dead. I'm deceased. I am a puddle of goo on the ground.

The bridge is the most upbeat part of the song and I imagine that's when he gets a call from MC because she's worried about him. Because honestly the line, 'Am I unavoidably detained or extremely fashionably late?' sounds like the kind of dry humor he'd enjoy.

And the song ends as he hangs up and continues his long journey on public transport to come home to her.

Rafayel

Now, fish boy gets two songs because I associate each one with what I like to call 'light mode' and 'dark mode' Rafayel.

I chose both songs because they had like, a lot of imagery involved in them and lean heavily into his whole artist job. So this isn't going to be as in depth as Zayne's lol.

Anyway,

This is light mode Rafayel. The whole song is him talking to MC. He's all happy-go-lucky and filled with inspiration. With how important color is to his current career the song just felt perfect.

The chorus also adds a few nice tidbits of his character,

Cheer up and dry your damp eyes, and tell me when it rains

And I'll blend up that rainbow above you and shoot it through your veins

'Cause your heart has a lack of color and we should've known

That we'd grow up sooner or later, 'cause we wasted all our free time alone

The first two lines sound like something he'd actually say when he's trying to comfort MC.

The line 'we wasted all our free time alone' sticks out to me because you ever notice this guy doesn't have any friends? Like, Xavier has Jeremiah and the countless old people he's made friends with when they're in their youth and Zayne has his coworkers at the hospital and his old profs. Raffy doesn't really have anyone like that? Sure he has Thomas and his Aunt Talia but judging by how fast they hung up on him after barely wishing him a happy birthday, I can't in good conscience call them his friends.

So yea maybe our boy was so focused on finding MC again he wasted all his free time alone.

Then we have dark mode Rafayel. And no I don't mean dark as in Rafayel when he's in revenge plot mode (whatever that is I don't have enough brain cells to comprehend what his plan could possibly be). I mean dark mode as in it's quite literally night time and he is left with nothing but his own thoughts. MC fell asleep at his place again and he's wistfully staring at her sleeping figure. This is the song in those moments.

Like Xavier, he's reminiscing about the past lives and past MCs. He's remembering the first time he met and the moment he decided she was the one. She was his bride. He's listing all the things he loves about her (which basically boils down to 'everything!'). She is his muse, now and forever.

And then the song ends with:

So I'll say it now before we're at the door that someday we'll walk through,

And if I'm the only one left in the room...

There's nowhere else I'd rather be than home with you.

Do you hear that? That's the sound of my heart cracking in two. He will sing you this last line as he pulls you closer, pressing your forehead against his before giving you a nice, long kiss.

Honorable mention goes to the song 'Sunburn' because it's about meeting someone, falling in love, and having to separate in the end (hence, 'she got a tan and I got a sunburn' and 'as we parted ways, she held my gaze and left an imprint on my mind'). I could go deeper and analyze each line like I did w/ Zayne but I've kept the Caleb girlies waiting long enough so we'll stop Raffy's part here.

Caleb

Caleb also gets two songs I chose two songs that have heavy 'childhood friends to lovers' vibes and fitting imagery and I told myself this one was gonna be short and sweet because we don't have as much depth abt his relationship w/ the MC compared to the current LIs but welp, I lied.

'Hot Air Balloon' is the most childhood friends song ever. Every single lyric is just every adventure these two went on when they were children. Writing their own fairy tales, making a racetrack around the kitchen chairs, going on a picnic to a nearby lake and getting a stomachache because you drank lake water even though Grandma Josephine told you specifically not to do that, the list just goes on and on.

It's them. It's little MC and Caleb with lightning in their veins and stars in their eyes as they explore the world around them, not a care in the world because the possibilities are quite literally endless when they have the other person by their side.

And then if 'Hot Air Balloon' was 'childhood friends—', 'The Bird And The Worm' adds on the '—to lovers' part of the trope.

I mean the entire first verse reads like the two kids playing pretend (because let's face it you've had one or two weirdly morbid play pretend sessions when you were a kid) with little Caleb saying he's the bird because of his evol and then little MC's like "then what does that make me?" And little Caleb's like "you're the worm ofc!"

Esp the part about throwing a party and greeting undersea friends (hi Raffy). I could imagine little MC telling little Caleb how she's going to invite the mermaid she made friends with at the beach to their 'party' and Caleb just not having any of it.

I'll throw a party and greet my undersea friends

(it depends)

As they arrive,

(if they arrive)

Then the chorus reads like a time skip. They're adults reminiscing about their childhood at one of the rare moments their schedules align,

You and I left our troubles far behind,

But I still have just one more question on my mind

For all my pals who live in the oceans and the seas

With friends like these well, who needs enemies?

In that moment they're back to being just MC and Caleb, not a hunter and a fighter pilot. And the last two lines sound like they're trading workplace gossip. Caleb tells her about the shenanigans his colleagues get up to and MC telling him about all the...'quirky' people she's been running into (hi Xav) and then being cheeky and going 'with friends like these, who needs enemies?'

And then you move to the second verse and it's them on a date. It's them on the most damn wholesome date you can imagine, I'm sorry I don't make the rules.

Like first they go apple picking,

If I'm your boy, we'll take a short cut we remember and we'll enjoy—

—picking apples in late September like we've done for years.

We'll take a long walk through the cornfield and I'll kiss you between the ears.

Then they come home and cook together (maybe make a pie with the apples they just picked or some other apple based dish?),

And as we twirl, the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling will shine for us

If you're my girl, swirl me around your room with feeling

As love sweeps over the room cuz' we tend to make, each other blush

(you make me blush)

They're so used to each other's presence even in a kitchen that can be considered a little cramped, they can perfectly navigate around each other.

After the two had eaten a delicious dinner, they are now cuddled on the couch with a blanket over the two of them, some movie playing on the TV. MC starts nodding off so Caleb picks her up and moves her to the bedroom, letting her snuggle against him. He brushes some loose strands of hair away so he can kiss her forehead,

"Love ya pipsqueak, sleep well."

And before drifting off he hears MC mumble a sleepy "I love you too..."

And that's how their perfect day ends.

You're the bird, I'm the worm and it's plain to see,

That we were meant to be.

----------------------------------------------------------

Author's rambling

Haaaa, I finally finished it yay! If you're reading this, thanks for reading this far! (or if you're a Caleb stan and just decided to read his part only, hello!)

I hope you enjoyed my takes. This was fun, I loved breaking down each song and just rambling my heart out over why each song gives me vibes for which character.

#xavier love and deepspace #zayne love and deepspace #rafayel love and deepspace #caleb love and deepspace #shen xinghui #li shen #qi yu #xia yizhou #love and deepspace #l&ds #lnds

[tipsyleaf]

Hatred | '24 Alphabet Challenge

Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader

Summary: Prom night is supposed to be the greatest night of your teenage life... Right?

Words: 1.9k

Content Warning: Stancy mention, Jancy mention, past feelings mention, childhood friends, and unrequited love (Steve)

Prom night, supposedly one of the greatest nights of teenagers' lives. That's a sentiment Steve definitely wouldn't agree with, hanging out outside his own senior prom. He didn't even know why he bothered coming, knowing full well he'd see them together. Hand in hand, arm in arm, dancing to every cheesy slow song the DJ put on. As much as Steve tried to be supportive or ignore it...

He just wasn't over his ex-girlfriend yet.

But that didn't stop him from trying to be the bigger man in the situation. That's what Steve grew into being, the bigger person. No more being a total asshole for the sake of his own feelings. That's something Junior year Steve would do.

"Well, don't you just look so lively tonight." His trance breaks as he's approached by you, coming from the double doors of the Gym hallway not too far away.

"I'm not in the mood tonight."

Steve sounded both fed up and disgusted with your antics already. Even if this was just the first thing you said anything to him all day.

You lean against the cold brick gym wall. Feeling the rough bumps of the hard surface on your back and through your dress.

"Rough night, champ?" Steve sighs, rubbing his eyes, raw from a few minutes of being emotional.

"You don't know the half of it." Glancing over, he sees you for the first time. Admiring the floor length red dress, you always looked good in red. You looked good in everything, at least in his mind.

"Look at you, all dressed up and presentable for once." You smirk at his joke, making him chuckle and smile.

"I always look presentable thank you prick." Smirking to yourself before looking back at him.

"You look good in a tuxedo... Y'know, for you."

"Thanks for the backhanded compliment. Anything good from you is a rarity." You laugh, making him smile even wider. His eyes shift around the parking lot, watching cars pull in, and other kids come to join the party going on inside.

"What're you even doing out here by yourself? I thought you'd be in there with like 9 different girls trying to dance with you at once." He scoffs, fighting the urge to roll his eyes.

"You know, too many options beating down my door. Couldn't disappoint them all."

"Came stag too, huh?" He just nods in response, not saying anything as you both look up into the inky night sky. The only sound to fill the cold April night air was the crickets chirping and distant chatting of other students.

"Are you holding up okay? I saw them dancing inside and... I know the breakup was hard for you, so I just thought I'd check up on you..."

Steve let out a rough sigh, feeling like a complete idiot pining for his ex-girlfriend still. Being broken up for almost 5 months now. He couldn't let her go in his head, they were each other's first loves. At least she was to him.

All of that came crashing to a halt after everything back in November.

"If I'm being honest, no I'm not holding up okay."

"I know I'm not a therapist or anything..." You shrug, glancing back at him as you nervously chew on your thumbnail.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"Not really. I've been talking to Dustin for months about it and no matter how much I try I can't get past it. Like Nancy's cast some kind of spell to stick with me or something." He sighs, looking at the asphalt as he swallows harshly.

"Now we can hardly make eye contact for more than 3 seconds before she turns away... God, she must hate me."

"Steve, she doesn't hate you. She's probably just feeling awkward about everything and trying to respect her new relationship by not hanging around her ex-boyfriend. They're just trying to find their footing as a couple." You reassure him, leaning over to give him a squeeze on his shoulder. Thinking about what he said, you shake your head, grinning at the thought of Dustin.

"And really Steve? Dustin. He's like 14 and barely knows how to handle having a crush yet. He's never even had a girlfriend yet. I know he's smart for his age, but c'mon."

"I know! He's just a great listener. He knows a lot for his age, it's actually kinda scary." You roll your eyes looking at the ground, starting to laugh to yourself.

"What?" His full attention is on you now, a small smile pulling at his lips as he watches you start to laugh harder.

"Nothing I just..." You cover your mouth, snickering again.

"I just never pictured myself giving you of all people a pep talk... You're you for crying out loud. Steven "The Hair" Harrington." You grin, bumping his arm with your elbow.

"King Steve... You're literally the most popular guy in the entire school, and I'm... Me." He shrugs, crossing his arms over his chest.

"That's the fun thing. We're so different, so we can see our point of view while still seeing each other's... Plus, it's nice not having someone around trying to kiss my ass constantly."

"Yeah, I'll just kick your ass instead." You smirk, pressing off the wall, your heels click as you step in front of him.

"Look, I know it hurts now, but it'll pass eventually... And if I can be honest with you... You could do so much better than Nancy frickin' Wheeler."

Steve could feel his eyebrows shooting up in amusement as you got in front of him. For some odd reason, just standing there in your presence felt somewhat calming suddenly.

"Oh yeah? Who'd you have in mind then?"

"I don't know," you think for a second and shrug, "Farrah Fawcett? I think she'd think you were cute. Celebrity or not?"

"Farrah Fawcett? You think Farrah Fawcett, one of the most famous women alive, would want me?"

"Yeah! You're a hot guy, why wouldn't she?!" It's his turn to laugh now, shaking his head as he bites his lip.

"Where the hell would I even meet her?"

"I don't know! I thought we were talking hypothetically." Steve nodded, his face turning serious again.

"It's just... It's hard looking past Nancy, y'know. She was the first girl I ever loved."

"I'm aware, Steve. It's just not always the best thing to dwell on. I'm talking from experience." You bite the inside of your cheek and sigh. Nervous to be this honest, but if it helps get the point across, then so be it.

"Can I be honest with you about something?"

Steve looks at you, seeing how nervous you look to talk. His lips part slightly as he nods.

"Of course."

"I used to have a massive crush on Jonathan ages ago and when he started showing an interest in Nancy it killed me... But he's my friend, so I encouraged him. It killed me but I got over it."

You turn your head, looking up at the sky again, taking in the shining stars above the two of you. Feeling embarrassed about laying everything out there for someone you've barely gotten to know again.

"Took a while but time heals most wounds. So, just know I'm here for you because I know what it feels like... Kind of."

Steve felt your pain as you talked about how you couldn't be with Jonathan, and how that's basically how he felt about Nancy in all honesty.

Silence fell over the two of you as you both looked out to the sky, admiring the stars again. Steve looks over at you, feeling somewhat peaceful. Yet still wanting to ask so many questions.

"How'd you do it? Stay strong like that. I can barely be in a room with her right now."

"I talked to my family. That helped a lot... But I know you aren't the closest to your parents, so that's why I asked if you wanted to talk about it with me." You smile softly, lips turning up as you half shrugged at his question.

"I know we weren't always on the best of terms, but you're my friend and... I care about you."

"We're friends again?" His eyes seemed to light up almost, just like he was a little kid again. Over the past year he's felt like you two were bonding. But never wanted to ask out of fear.

Tension fills the air between you two. It's been this way since you two started becoming friends again. Going through hell together alongside the couple, Steve was trying to avoid like the plague.

"Well you know, when you nearly die fighting inner dimensional monsters together you tend to start caring about their well-being again... So, in a way, I guess we have to thank them for something at least."

Steve smirks before shaking his head.

"Part of me likes to think we'd be friends again someday."

"Who knows." You add, silence falling between you again. It's not long before Steve shifts, pushing himself off the wall and looking at you.

"So let’s say, hypothetically, that I was stuck at this stupid prom without a date and I had no one else to ask but you...”

"Mmm. Mmhm, hypothetically." You nod along, fighting back the urge to smirk.

"Go on."

Steve looked away for a second, collecting his thoughts. He takes a deep breath, turning back to you.

"And, hypothetically, I might need to spend our senior prom dancing, like my life depends on it, because it's possibly the last fun night before the rest of our lives."

"I'm starting to think you don't know what the word hypothetically means."

"Shush," he cuts you off, making you giggle before he continues, "now, hypothetically, would you be interested in dancing with me?"

You nod, looking like you were really thinking about it. As if you didn't know your answer already.

"Well, hypothetically," you play along, making sure to hold eye contact, "I might be inclined to say yes... If it wasn't a hypothetical, of course."

You rub your hand over your mouth, smirking behind it. He holds eye contact, faking a scoff as he stares.

"You're gonna make me ask?" You nod, tongue going to his cheek as he also nods.

"You're impossible, you know that?"

"I wouldn't be saying that to a girl you're about to ask to prom Steve." He chuckles, nodding. You got him there.

His expression shifts to a goofy grin as he sighs with a slight relief.

"You think you can survive the night without making fun of me?" He smirks, holding his hand out for you to grab, you smile back at him taking it gently. Giving him a reassuring squeeze.

"I don't know about the whole night, but I can sure try my best." Rolling his eyes, he pulls you into his side, lacing his arm around your waist.

You look up at him, your gaze meeting again. Taking in his deep brown eyes and soft smile brings... Old feelings from years ago bubble back up.

Your mouth opens to say something, anything at all. But the words won't come out as your heartbeat picks up speed.

That old crush you had on your old friend never really went away over all these years.

Or at least that's what you think at the moment.

#🌿 ivy writes #stranger things x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington x y/n #stranger things #stranger things x you

[stargirlv0id]

Happy Birthday

pairings: Theodore Nott x F!R

synopse: It's your 17th birthday, and you decide to celebrate it with your loved ones.

warnings: kissing; fluff; short

a!n: english isn't my first language, sorry for any mistakes

It is finally my birthday. It's now early afternoon and me and mom are arranging my birthday decorations

I chose to do something simple. A dinner party with my friend group and some of parents friends too.

I'm making my own lime cake with cherries, my favorite flavor. Pansy is also helping me do it and later we will get ourselves ready for the dinner.

I couldn't be happier and more excited. Today I am seeing Theo again, after a few weeks.

Our relationship grew a lot more in the past months. We been exchanging letters since spring break. And we couldn't be more in love.

He has been staying with Blaise for the past months since he s having a hard time at home, and I have been comforting him a lot too.

I miss his touch, and his kisses. I miss his presence.

Now is already night, and my dad is cooking the dinner. Pasta salad, my favorite. The guests are starting to arrive slowly. Sienna parents being them.

They are like family to me.

The rest of the others have arrived too. Mattheo arrived together with Enzo, he have been staying with him too. Malfoy arrived as well, coincidentally with Daphne. I gave them all a tight hug and received their gifts. We sat on the garden and engaged in a conversation.

Soon enough Blaise, his parents and Theo arrived.

I got up and greeted Blaise and his parents with a huge smile and tight hugs. When it got to Theo, I gave him a big smile too and he pulled me into a warm hug, holding my waist. His scent drowned me in the best way possible, making me nostalgic.

I pulled away and he gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Happy Birthday, dolcezza." He smiled softly, and i smiled back. "Thank you, baby." I hugged him again, briefly.

The rest of the night went well. We ate, talked and danced. We sang happy birthday, and ate the cake. Everybody appreciated it, and I was glad, soon enough our last year at Hogwarts would begin, and it is wonderful to have loyal company.

Later, me and Theo went for a walk. Just the two of us. "I have something for you." He stopped on his tracks. And turned to me.

In his hands, a small, velvet box was held, and he gave it to me.

I opened happily. It was a silver necklace with a turquoise pendant. "Thank you, Theo." I said softly tearing up as I hugged him.

"I've missed you." He said pulling back.

I leaned in to kiss him passionately. "So did I."

#fluff #hp #lorenzo zurzolo #slytherin #theodore nott #writers on tumblr #dating #shifting #birthday

[gingerequinoxe]

Cigarette Daydreams

This is the first bit I ever publish ! This is a Larissa Weems/fem!reader story, I hope you like it ! A bit angsty, a bit fluffy.

Warnings : none

You used to be a teacher at Nevermore along with Larissa before she was a principal. You had a brief but intense relationship that you ended to go deal with your own issues. Years later, you come back and have to face Larissa again. Things are rocky at first, up until the Rave’n night where you finally discuss your past, and eventually, your future.

Standing in the darkness of a secluded spot in the gardens, you sighed before you leaned on a pillar. Tonight had been one chaotic night. You had made sure that all the students at the Rave’n went back to their rooms, and most of them were now on their way for a midnight shower. Your heart went to the maintenance janitor who would have to scrub all of that red paint out of the white bathrooms. Shaking your head, you dived into your pocket to grab your pack of cigarettes. You tucked one in between your lips and lit it before taking a long drag.

"You know you're not allowed to smoke on school's grounds, even if you're not a student."

You turned around and noticed Larissa standing behind you. Like you, she had changed into other clothes – none of you really had a choice, anyway. She had traded her fancy party dress for a comfortable wool dress. She wasn't wearing any make-up, but still kept her hair in a strict bun. She somehow managed to look even better than she did in your memories.

"Damn," you said, "I hope no one's gonna tell on me. Do you think I'm gonna get in trouble in the principal's office ?"

She snorted and crossed her arms on her chest, taking a few steps towards you.

"I'm sure my silence can be arranged if you share." she sighed.

You frowned and reached in your pocket for your pack, offering her one.

"I didn't know you smoked."

"I don't." she said as she accepted your flame, "Just one if I've been really stressed. And after tonight..." she trailed off.

"Yes." you nodded, "Tonight was a lot. Especially for you."

"At least it was only paint.", she commented, "Not real blood. Which means it won't smell like copper in the Main Hall. But it's going to take ages before we can get rid of all of the stains."

"No one's badly hurt," you reassured her, "and the boys responsible for that little joke have been handed to the local police. They’ll get what they deserve. Everything will be alright."

"Except it won't." she said as she shook her head, "Nothing is going to happen to them. To Jericho's people, it's nothing but a harmless children's prank, and after what happened to the statue on the fountain... I'm afraid the whole town is going to celebrate this humiliation." she took a long drag of her cigarette, "And the parents... I don't know what to tell them. It's supposed to be a safe haven for their children to grow and experience life in its fullest, and tonight I failed to..."

"Hey," you stopped her, placing your hand on her arm, "Stop it. You did not fail anything. Until this last dance, the party was perfection. Everyone was having so much fun. Someone or something's after this place, and that's also why I'm here. You're not alone in this, and I know you wouldn't let anything happen to these children.", you squeezed her arm gently, "And I won't either."

She did not answer immediately. Instead, her blue eyes bore into yours, and you both stood in silence for a moment. You dropped your hand and stuffed your cigarette's butt in your pocket ashtray. You handed it to her and she did the same as you.

"Thank you." she whispered, "It means a lot to me.”

"It's okay. I really mean it. You..." you swallowed with difficulty before you added, in a low voice, "You mean a lot to me, Larissa. You always did. And I mean that, too."

She stiffened a little and turned her head towards the dark gardens. She let out a deep breath before she shook her head :

"It's in the past. But thank you."

"Is it, though ?" you took a step closer to her, "Is this thing we have a thing of the past ?"

She let out a deep breath through her nose and closed her eyes.

"It has to be. For the simple reason that it cannot be any other way."

She turned on her heels and started heading towards the building, but you grabbed her wrist and held her in place.

"We're not done talking, Issa."

"Don't call me that." she hissed.

"Why can't it be any other way ? Why do you have to be so controlling of everything, why do you resist it ?"

"Controlling ?" she tore her wrist out of your grip, "Not everyone can get away from their responsibilities by running away like you did. I have a ton of responsibilities. I have to be stable, for this school, for these kids, and for myself."

You crossed your arms on your chest and bit the inside of your cheeks. That stung, but there was a part of truth there.

"Would you at least listen to me if I tried to explain myself ?" you asked, despair clear in your voice.

"Explain what ? Why you ran away and let me with no answer, no news, for years ? Or are you going to explain why you treated me like the dirt on your shoes days before your disappearance ?"

Even in the dark of the night, you knew her face was slightly red in anger. Her breath was labored, and before you could mutter a word, you saw her turn her back to you.

"Issa !”

“Stop calling me that !” she replied without looking back at you, “I don’t care for your answers or explanations. I needed them years ago. Now they mean nothing. Good night.”

She took a few quick steps before you shouted :

“Larissa ! Come back now. Come back and listen to me." your tone was uncharacteristically firm, "Hear me out on this, just a moment. Let me say my piece, and then I'll do anything you want me to."

She stopped in her tracks, with her fists clenched and her shoulders tense.

"You had years to say your piece."

"I know. If it really doesn't matter to you, you can walk away and never look back to me. I'll just complete my job here, and I'll be on my way."

"Leaving again," she scoffed as she turned to look at you, "how original."

"You don't want me to stay with you, but you don't want me to leave either." you retorted, "What is it that you want ?"

She considered your words for a moment, and for a few seconds you felt like you had a point. She nodded and stared back at you, inviting you to talk. You exhaled a breath that you apparently had been holding before you spoke :

"I'm not proud of what I did. It was reckless, and stupid, and frankly irresponsible and hurtful. I profoundly regret it – I've spent years regretting it. Not that it changes a thing," you said as you felt she wanted to interrupt, "But I still want you to know that. You deserve an apology, and an explanation, even though I should have done it years ago. Truth is, I missed you every single day since the day I left. I was too young, and too lost to even understand what was going on. You were older than me, and you had ambitions, you had a plan for yourself – I did not. All I had was a profound hate for who I was, for being an outcast, and... And even surrounded by my peers, I felt so isolated."

You swallowed few tears and clenched your jaw. Larissa, on the other hand, seemed less angry and more concerned. You ran your hand through your hair and sighed :

"I've fucked us up, I know. You didn't deserve any of what I did to you, and you did not deserve me leaving. You didn't deserve to think it was your fault. You were never lacking, and I'm sorry that I made you feel like you were.", you shook your head and closed your eyes, a few tears finally escaping your eyelids, "But I miss you, Larissa. And I don't think I'll ever stop missing you."

There. It was done. The words were out, and your feelings were laid bare before her. You wiped your cheeks gently and let out yet another sigh. The silence you now shared with her was heavy and uncomfortable, so different from the one you used to share on peaceful nights, full of knowing looks and warm affection. You buried your hands in your pockets as you made your mind ; it was time to go. You had said your piece, after all.

"My whole life, I felt like I wasn't important."

Her voice stopped you in your tracks as you walked past her. You shifted and watched her, with her eyes on the floor, and her hands fidgeting.

"I've always felt second best, inadequate. I'm not saying that because, like everyone here, I'm an outcast. That must have played a part, but there was so much more. I wasn't pretty like other girls. “The stately sequoia tree”, they used to call me. I wasn't... I wasn't Morticia Frump. I was the girl no one remembered existed except before a test, when they didn’t have any notes, the girl people forgot about at the end of classes, the girl who wasn't invited in town. I know it's probably stupid, because it happened so long ago, but in some ways I feel like I haven't changed that much."

She finally turned to watch you, and you noticed tears in her own eyes as well.

"What I'm trying to say is... I did not feel like this with you. When we met, you managed to make me believe I could be someone's first choice for once. That I wasn't going to be tossed away at the first sign of another opportunity. When you left..."

She swallowed the tears for a moment and fought the sobs, her lips visibly trembling.

"When you left, it destroyed this confidence I've been building. It left a hole in me. My whole world crashed down. I was back at square one, and God, I missed you so much too, it hurt me so badly. But despite this, in a way... I've never stopped missing you either."

She took a deep breath and ran her hand into her coiffed white hair before she talked again, her voice barely above a whisper now :

"What's so confusing in all of this is that you're back, and everything is back with you. I tried to hate you at first, tried so hard not to fall back into those feelings I used to have and... Well, as you see, it seems like I've failed again."

You stood there for a moment, taking in her words, the confession she just made. It might have been chilly outside tonight, but right now you felt like your body was on fire, but also it felt rooted in place.

"You're important, Larissa. To me, you mean everything." you finally said.

You heard a shuddering breath leave her lips. She moved to turn her head away, but you were quicker : you took a step towards her and rose a hand to her face, cupping her face gently. Prompting her to look at you, you noticed two tears slipping from her eyes. Wiping them with the pad of your thumbs, you leaned in, drawing her face closer to yours.

"Is this okay ?" you whispered.

After a second, she nodded and closed the distance between your lips. A whimper escaped your throat, and you immediately deepened the kiss, your arms circling her waist to pull her closer, infinitely closer to your body. You felt her own arms wrapping around your neck. When your tongue caressed her bottom lip, it was her turn to groan. The sound almost suprised her, and she immediately pulled back, much to your surprise.

"We can't," she breathed, "please, we can't. Not here."

"The students have all gone to bed. There's no one out there."

"Please, let's just... Just think, for a moment."

You pulled away with a groan, immediately missing the warmth of her breath against your face, and the softness of her lips against yours. She looked at you and smiled :

"Well, at least I'm grateful for the lack of make-up."

You giggled and looked into her eyes in awe, butterflies swirling in your heart and your belly.

"I wanna do this again." you said, "I want it a lot, actually. If you ever feel like you can forgive me and trust me again, I'll be there."

She did not answer immediately, but a light smile adorned her lips. She pushed a piece of hair out of your face and sighed.

"I... Might need a little more convincing before I can say I fully trust you." she leaned in and kissed your lips chastely, "But I am willing to try and do this with you. Because I want you back, too."

#larissa weems #larissa weems x y/n #larissa weems x reader #larissa weems x fem!reader #wednesday #wednesday tv show #wednesday 2022 #lgbt #lgbtq #lesbian

[rat-typewriter]

Yay!!! Someone's writing for Arven!!! Could you please write something, either Headcanons or a fanfic your choice, about Arven with a librarian s/o who helps him find information on Herba Mystica and the titan pokemon. So lots of study dates in the school library where she works that slowly turn into actual dates 👀

As someone working at a library rn, this one is pretty self indulgent lol but I hope you don't mind! Thanks so much, I hope you have a great day!! (I also lowkey wonder if you remember me since I've left asks here before...)

Omg omg hello fellow librarian!! I used to work in a library! Tysm for your request sunshine, and i hope you enjoy!! This is a little rushed so im sorry about that :,,)

Perfect to me - Arven x Student Librarian!Reader

Warnings: None

Proofread: like,,,, some of it is

Summary: Mabosstiff is doing a lot better - you're the first person Arven wants to tell

You tried to turn up your music for the seventh time - forgetting it was already at full volume. Your phone buzzed angrily, a notification popping up - trying to warn you of the damage you were doing to your ears. 

You were more-or-less all alone in the library; anyone who had come in this late was frantically studying at the desks, so you were free to shelve books and dance awkwardly. 

You skimmed the spines of the books and hummed quietly to yourself. The song reminded you of Arven - it felt like sunshine and long, green grasses with a warm breeze. You smiled at the thought of him; even his name gave you butterflies - you couldn’t quite believe you'd been dating three months. 

You first met when he was always asking for obscure books and journal articles - and without having to do too much detective-work you figured out that he was searching for the titan's herbs. You mentioned it one night - after a few weeks of him coming in almost every day - and he let you meet Mabostiff. You'd never seen such a sick Pokémon, but you found yourself with a certain respect for the somewhat-harsh boy who sat in front of you, stroking its nose gently. After then, you always stayed past the end of your shifts - scouring the shelves for any clues to help Arven and Mabostiff.

You found the section you were looking for and slid a book from your trolley onto the shelf. Straightening up, you were about to reach for the next book - but, through the shelf, you came face-to-face with Arven.

You leapt out of your skin, ripping your headphones out in the process.

Arven grinned and laughed; wide-eyed you scolded him.

"Oh my god, Arven." You said, as you rounded the shelf - moving to face him. "How long have you been there?"

"Not too long." He smiled - his smile was so contagious you found yourself struggling to maintain your annoyed expression.

"Well, don't scare me like that!" You replied, trying to suppress your giggle. Being around Arven made you go stupid (in the best way possible, of course). It was addictive - hell, he was addictive - you never failed to have fun, even when poring over fifty year-old books and digging through the dusty archives.

"Okay, okay - I'm sorry." He replied - not looking even the least bit sorry. 

"You should be." You said, folding your arms with mock disappointment. "Libraries are no places for fun."

"Of course, it won't happen again Miss L/N." He said - his tone's solemness matching your own.

For a moment you stared at each other seriously - before you both erupted into giggles. 

Yeah, you thought to yourself, I really like him.

Before you'd even caught your breath again, he grabbed your hand and tugged it.

"C'mon, there's something you gotta see." 

Had Arven been any other boy - you probably would have assumed that they were about to take you down some dark corridor and axe-murder you. But when you looked at him and he softly smiled back at you - you trusted him completely.

He led you out of the library and down the stairs - to one of the fire exit doors in a back corridor.

He held it open for you and you stepped outside into the dark car park. The cold March air ruffled your hair and you shivered; you heard Arven close the door and then stand beside you. In the dim light of the flickery fire-exit sign you could only just make out his features. He stood close to you - his arm brushing your own - but he didn’t seem to mind; neither did you. 

He grinned and pulled a Poké ball out of his pocket.

He didn’t mean?

“Arven?” you said, excitement rising in your voice. “He’s better?”

He grabbed your hand and nodded frantically, somehow smiling even wider than before. He tossed the ball, freeing Mabosstiff - who, for the first time whilst you’d known him, stood in front of you. Arven, who was still smiling wildly (and seemed unable to speak) looked between the two of you, his eyes suddenly full of tears

 You laughed, dropping to your knees and putting your hand out for the Pokémon to sniff. Mabostiff nosed your fingers and let out a low ruff.

"Hey, buddy." You said, quietly - finding yourself fighting back tears as well. "Good to see you up and about,"

Mabostiff nuzzled against your leg and you giggled - wiping your eyes. Arven, who was looking just as teary-eyed as you, crouched down, levelling with you and Mabosstiff.

"I can't believe you did it," You whispered, stroking the Pokémon's ears.

"Me neither." Arven said. The closeness of his voice surprised you a little. You turned to face him, finding that his face was only a few centimetres from your own. Fireworks were going off inside your brain as you stared at his dark eyes. 

He's gorgeous, you thought. I've never noticed how pretty he is. 

Your words caught in your throat and you found yourself unable to form a sensible reply. He held your gaze; his mouth slightly agape.

"Hey," You whispered, giggling slightly.

"Hi," He laughed back.

His smile was radiant, even in the darkness. You were so close you could practically feel the heat from his body. He glanced at your lips, so quickly you were almost convinced it didn't happen - but it was there.

He spoke slowly. "Can I, uh, ask you something?" 

You glanced at his lips.

"Sure,"

"Would you mind if - uh - could I-" He stammered, his growing more red by the second.

You laughed quietly and he did too - easing your nerves a bit. 

You met his big, dark eyes and knew you were too far gone. So, with only a moment's hesitation, you leant in.

Your heart felt as though it was going to rattle out of your chest, but the feeling of his lips against your own left you floating. His hand moved to your face and you steadied yourself against his knee.

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god-

After a moment, you pulled apart - bumping noses as both laughed breathily. 

"Wow," You whispered.

"Yeah." He laughed.

You leant back, moving from your crouched position to sit on the concrete instead - your head slightly spinning. Mabosstiff looked between you, letting out a low ruff. Arven grinned, ruffling the fur on its head.

"Were you watching us?" He said, narrowing his eyes at the Pokémon. "Cheeky." 

You laughed and Arven turned to look at you. Your heart skipped a beat and your mind was empty.

He likes me. 

"So," You turned away, looking out into the darkness. "You like me?"

"Well, yeah." 

You turned back to face him, his expression barely visible in the dim light, but you could still see the redness that suddenly appeared.

"Well, uh - I mean, why wouldn't I like you?"

You snorted. "I could name a few reasons."

For a moment he was quiet, staring at you - clearly thinking hard.

"Nope." He said.

"What?"

"I can't name any."

You laughed and he nudged your shoulder.

"You're perfect to me."

You could feel the blood rushing into your face as you leaned into his side - tucking your head beneath his chin. You both sat quietly until Mabosstiff flopped down across both of your laps - Arven letting out an oof as it did so.

"You're heavy, buddy." He said to the dog. "Not a puppy anymore, eh?"

"They grow up so fast." You said, wiping a fake tear.

Arven mock-sniffled. "My baby is all grown up!" 

Suddenly, you blurted out his name. "Arven?"

He turned to you. "Yeah?"

"You're perfect to me too."

#arven #pokemon arven #pokemone violet arven #pokemon scarlet arven #pokemon scarlet and violet #scarlet and violet #scarlet arven x reader #violet arven x reader #arven x reader #pokemon arven x reader #pokemon x reader #pokemon sv #sv arven #scarlet and violet x reader

[dribs-and-drabbles]

15 people, 15 questions

Thanks for tagging me @colourme-feral, @wen-kexing-apologist and @thegalwhorants! I wrote this at night on Christmas Eve but then tumblr ate the post when I moved it from my drafts to my queue, so I had to write the whole thing again...

1. Are you named after anyone?

No. My parents had a difficult time deciding on a name and just eventually landed on the one they gave me.

2. When was the last time you cried?

Well that depends on what kind of crying... I teared up last Wednesday when my furniture and belongings arrived from being in storage for 17 months. Tears rolled down my cheeks and my breath hitched a few times when I watched ep 6 Last Twilight (damn you Aof!) nearly two weeks ago. But the last time I ugly sobbed was whilst watching a musical in June, but I was feeling especially emotional about my temporary living situation at the time.

3. Do you have kids?

No.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

I don't play any now (but I do go to the gym) but when I was a kid I did gymnastics and then dance (although that's not a sport). I played different sports in school but only because I had to and they weren't any I really enjoyed.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Sarcasm? Who, me?! Nooooooo never.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Probably their posture or body language.

7. What's your eye colour?

To be honest I'm not sure. There's grey and bits of blue and green and even brown but I wouldn't be able to call it a colour. I used to say hazel but then I realised hazel was more brown than my eyes are so I don't really know.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Oh happy endings for sure. I mean, I'm on (this) tumblr because of the qls I watch so it should be obvious.

9. Any talents?

I can hold a handstand for 30 secs (I've also managed 1 min in the past but that was a while ago now) but that feels more like a party trick than a talent. I guess I could say dancing. Oh, maybe guessing the time usually quite accurately.

10. Where were you born?

In the UK, specifically England.

11. What are your hobbies?

Apart from going to the gym, handstanding and watching ql series? I'm currently obsessed with the clothes from the shows 😅...but I also like to go for walks, sometimes I play boardgames, and I like to read (I've been mainly reading fan fic recently though). I also think about lego a lot (and now I have my own place I might get some sets - bonsai tree my beloved) and I used to write but it's been a few years since I last wrote anything.

12. Do you have any pets?

No. I've had cats in the past and I'd like another cat at some point but not for a while.

13. How tall are you?

I'm not 🤭

14. What was your favourite subject in school?

I can't remember now but probably geography...but more geology than countries...or creative writing. There was a point where I enjoyed maths...but didn't study it beyond 16.

15. What is your dream job?

I'd actually like to be able to not work, or to only work part time. I've been lucky to have actually had my dream job and I'm very grateful for the opportunity/experience.

So that's it! I guess I should tag 15 people since that's the title of this game, so here goes: @grapejuicegay @telomeke (I know you've been tagged a few times) @respectthepetty (I know you've done it already but I wanted to tag you anyway) @celestial-sapphicss @dimplesandfierceeyes @chickenstrangers @wen-kexing-apologist (I know you've already done it as well but leaving this tag here anyway) @waitmyturtles @lurkingshan @my-rose-tinted-glasses @slayerkitty @ranchthoughts @belladonna-and-the-sweetpeas @btwinlines @starryalpacasstuff No pressure obviously. (bonus tag for @absolutebl because I like it when you answer these kinds of things using only photos /gifs)

#the tag game #writing this on christmas morning instead #having a quiet day by myself #and probably unpacking more boxes #saving it in my queue so I hope it doesn't get eaten by tumblr again... #(edited pre-posting to add some tags/notes)

[lgcbk]

⸻ NEWKIDSNEWDREAMS ( MISSION001 / newkids profile ; © )

Byeongkwan enters the room with a two-finger salute, beaming as he greets each staff member and makes his way to the seat placed before a plain backdrop. He faces the camera with his usual relaxed confidence, a half smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Ready? the PD asks from behind the crew. "Always."

'Between dancing, singing, rapping, producing and lyrics writing, which skill do you want to be recognized for?'

"Rapping." He answers without hesitation. "In a way I think it embodies all of the skills I would want to be recognized for. Lyric writing, stage presence, performance... The way I see it it's a full package in one." He sits back in his chair with a pensive hum. "I also used to dream of being recognized for my KOMCA writing credits - and make no mistake, I still want that - but... I really want to be the kind of rookie people can't forget after first listen, or first watch. I want my lines to be stuck in a loop in everyone's head, that kind of thing, you know? I put a lot of myself into this and... I'm really hoping to hone my craft, make a name for myself, and all that... But as a rapper in this group." He nods, drumming a beat on his knees with his hands.

'Which role would you ideally like to have in the final lineup?'

"Main rapper." Another quick answer, blurted before the PD could even finish asking the question. "I don't mean to sound..." Conceited? Overconfident? Cocky? Maybe all of the above. "It's what I've been striving towards. I think I've had a lot of opportunities in the past year to show off some of my skill, but in the final lineup I'd really like to prove that I'm deserving of the main role."

'On which other youtube show would you like to appear?'

"I'm already on the best one, aren't I?" he fires back with a cheeky grin. "Just kidding - I've been on a few shows through Legacy Studios and it was a great experience. Maybe my own one day...?" he chuckles, bashfully prodding at the back of his neck. "If I had to choose... Maybe MMTG? I'm a big fan of Jaejae-nim and I think it would be fun to appear on her show as a group. Oh, Jaefriends, too. I've been a fan of Jaejoong sunbaenim for the longest too, so - Ah, and GYM JONGKOOK, for sure. I've been training, check it - " He rolls up his sweatshirt sleeve and flexes his arm, giving the camera a wink.

'What's your ideal concept?'

"Two words? Cool and fun," emphasized with a flick of the sunglasses he'd been sporting at his hair line onto his face. "I really want to do a concept that has that high energy, get-up-and-dance, nothing but good vibes kind of feel." He grins, taking off his shades and tucking them onto his collar. "A concept where we're having so much fun up on stage that anyone watching us can't help but jump out of their seat and have fun too, you know? Bonus if we can get some laughs in there."

'Is there a concept that wouldn't suit you?'

"Ah..." he trails off, clicking his tongue as he racks his brain for the best way to say - "Anything too cute. I - " hate aegyo. "I'm not too good with cute concepts... And I think I'd - " look fuckin' ridiculous. "I don't think I would suit that kind of concept very well."

'As an idol, what do you want to achieve?'

"Greatness." He's silent for a beat before letting out a chuckle. "I don't know... There's so much that I want to achieve? I guess first, a successful debut. Rookie of the year is always on my mind, so that's definitely something I want us to gun for. Personally? I want - " For the first time since the interview has begun he finds himself at a loss for words. To make them proud, sounds in his mind. For once. Impossible, it seems. He clears his throat, cracking another smile. "I'd really want to perform a song live that I played a major role in producing... Doing that and having it recognized by an award? I'll feel like I've made it."

'Is there anything you would like your group to be known for?'

"Known for? ...No filter rookies." He shoots the camera a cheeky grin before quickly raising his hands to wave them dismissively at the camera. Before this gets cut - "What I mean is, I want us to be idols that don't hold back and show our true selves. I feel like each member of NKND will have their own charms - quirks - and I want us to be able to express ourselves freely with each other and with our fans... Show the world it's okay to be a little loud, a little different. We still make great music, put on great performances, and can become a group that our fans are proud of while coming as we are each and every time."

#( solo. ) #( nknd. ) #lgc:nknd

[love-songs-for-emma]

Shuffle your favorite playlist and post the first five songs that come up. Then copy/paste this ask to your favorite mutuals. 💌💛

OMG ty adrey!!! i love any excuse to share my music!!!!

songs BE SHUFFLED‼️

1. With A Little Help From My Friends (Remastered 2009) by the Beatles :3

2. death bed (coffee for your head) by Powfu & beabadoobee

3. How To Never Stop Being Sad by dandelion hands

4. Sitting, Waiting, Wishing by Jack Johnson

5. Ocean Man by Ween

HOLY COW. WHAT A GENUINE SHUFFLE ALCBKSCN USUALLY SPOTIFY IS SO BAD AT SHUFFLING WHAT!!!!! I love all of these songs actually omg

This was not apart of the task but im using this as an excuse to talk about these songs below the cut:

1. Beatles songs fill me with such warmth. Hugs. My sister loved them sm and anything my sister loved, I loved. She was ten years older than me. I was raised on the Beatles. Plus they remind me of my beloved emma ( @love-songs-for-maria ) and her family/her mom. My second family being a Beatles household is so nice c: I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends :')

2. There was a time period where i could Not stop listening to this song. I started making art about it back then; this is absolutely reminding me to finish it omg. Also, this song actually /sampled/ beebadoobee's song "coffee," it's not just like a song they made together. So check out "coffee" for a song about healing that makes me CRY and also feel like I'm being HUGGED. Love u beebadoobee

3. Wow. What a classic. How To Never Stop Being Sad was my ULTIMATE cry song when I was like 13. I still think about some of lines (it reads more like spoken word/poetry with backdrop) more as How To *Stop* Being Sad, yknow? Motivational. Like "Become a background character to your own motion picture" -> Be the main character in your life. Take up space. EXIST. ♡

4. The album this comes from, "In Between Dreams," sounds like childhood. Like sitting on the lil fold down square seats in the back of my dad's old lil red pickup truck as we drive to other side of the island to go dirtbike riding with my mom and brother. It's also become something I dont /have/ to associate with that. I got a vinyl record of it when I was about 15/16 and used to play it while dancing around the front room and making breakfast (various friends and partners over the years there or not). It's also mine. My solo drive peaceful music. Sittin, Waitin, Wishin :)

5. This is the sound of the Spongebob Squarepants Movie ending. That's it. That's what it is. First credits song. One of the rare movie endings where the credits actually go SO HARD and I actually prefer letting them play out. I watched this movie a billion times since it came out when I was a kid. The end credits when this plays show waves crashing and it looks like you're surfing and reminds me of Hawai'i, which is where I was still living when it first came out and I'd watch the DVD endlessly!! Perfect song. 0/0 notes. Ocean Man, Take Me By The Hand, Lead Me To The Land That You Understand

Lastly,, I probably would have skipped a song if I didn't like it bc I've been unliking a lot of my Liked Songs on Spotify lately so that my shuffle on Liked Songs is better and bam! There's the payoff! Didn't even skip one for this ask! Wahoo!

If anyone read this to the end, thanks for sharing these memories with me. :) Much love, always. I'll send this out to a few peeps, but if anyone wants it sent to them specifically so they too can be involved and/or ramble on, DM me/let me know! MWAH

#asks #i think i change my ask tag every single time i answer one so i just accept that they'll never be found again once eaten by my blog #t3acupz #THANK U FOR SENDING!!! im sure u didnt expect a maria essay but um. you are Beyond welcome to ignore the cut akfhkscjd #hashtag maria lore #personal #maria is literally just rambling. hi #.txt #music #ask game