#but goddang i want to start soon

[amaiguri]

"Belle, you have too many GODDANG Senators! Who the heck are they all?"

You're right. I have a problem where I have side characters who start out as props, essentially -- the Captain of the Guard acknowledges something bad happened and "takes over from here." ...Except now she's a cafe owner with a veteran girlfriend and her hobby is making fireworks and she's extremely bubbly as a defense mechanism for her trauma -- because she doesn't want anyone to feel unwanted, like she does... *cough cough* ANYWAY, so let's help you get to know my Senators, at least, by putting them all in one place!

Diacaius Praefori

"You wish to know me? I see no need for self introduction. You will see what I can accomplish soon enough..."

Diacaius was born and raised in Telethens, fought in the war to conquer the farthest West of the South, before going into Engineering and AI.

On the basis of his engineering as well as his charismatic smile, he was elected into the Senate before proposing and making the Philosopher King. It has been a decade-long process but she is finally in a place where she exhibits true sapience, computer-fast reflexes, and the ability to point and destroy any city. With his robot daughter's success, Diacaius was put in charge of conquering the uncivilized North.

But what no one knows is that he's had the help of an eldritch abomination -- the Goddess of the Abyss, Eris. How much longer will she keep favoring him? How much longer can he stay in control?

Sipestro

"The Blood Tsars saw my brother and I as leashed cats who did magical tricks, moreso than human children to raise and educate. Just as some people are born Witches and others must butcher their eyes, some people are simply born capable of seeing other people as people — and others only respect you when you could butcher them."

Kalliopeia describes Sipestro as, "...a measured, Svanihk man with coiled dark hair, flecked gray from his age — though his brown face was relatively unwrinkled save for the furrowed crease in his brow. He, much like Diacaius, featured in many of my earliest memories where he watched and tested the wear on the materials of my body." He's a materials engineer and a natural-born Witch.

But while Diacaius was hailed as "The Father of Modern AI" and widely celebrated as the head of the team that made Kalliopeia. Sipestro is a much lesser-known name from a more tumultuous and "barbaric" region. Sipestro tries not to let the snap judgments of the commonfolk to get to him and carry on doing his own work. He tries to focus on only his team's needs -- as even Diacaius immensely respect him. He tries to be proud of himself with only his own validation.

Tries.

Imedea

I believe in [God] and I believe They work through us. WE have to make the world better — we can’t just wait for miracles.

Imedea is known for her fairness, principles, and adherence to the spirit of the law. She's a Zavlakihk Senator who revolutionized the way bodies of stars are tracked, which has wildly improved maritime navigation of the Aftokratoria.

Imedea's only ""imperfection"" is that she is "just roommates" with the sweet Senator Pythas -- and she shouldn't be in a relationship with a coworker. It isn't even that it's illegal, but she worries it clouds her judgment about voting for things.

She hasn't kicked her out of the apartment yet.

(P.s. I've definitely redone her visual design several times lol)

(Below: Imedea is on the right, Pythas is on the left)

Pythas

Pythas is a shy, brilliant girl who agnostically codified Geometry -- which had formerly been a complicated mess of pseudo-religious jargon and folk-knowledge that made it extremely difficult to pass down. They call her anthology of work "The Pythian Theorem".

She was tutored by a disgruntled Tsar in Zavlakya, and the Tsar's child stole her work until Senator Imedea stepped in to put her rightful name on it. This, of course, made her lose her sponsorship from the Tsar and she ended up having to fall back on government food and housing -- which simply didn't have the same educational resources.

Pythas became a Philosopher at this point -- working streetcorners to teach people about her work and using all her donations to put towards codex printing. Eventually, her work reached shipbuilders, Portmasters, and the famous local Stonemason's Guild -- and wildly adopted the city-over. Through navigating her rising fame and sudden income, Pythas found the confidence to advocate for ideas and, with Imedea's encouragement, ran as the Second Senator of Zavlakya -- which is easily run against the Tsar's candidate.

Pythas is still at her happiest analyzing and optimizing tax codes, building regulations, and railroad lines, but with all that's been happening around Telethens these days, she's having to run a whole new equation now: What's the best way to keep the Aftokratoria safe from Demons?

Eumenides

Eumenides is a lawyer-turned-Senator who still mostly focuses on judicial issues in Telethens. She is a great admirer of her Telethenian co-Senator, Diacaius, and wants to live up the lasting legacy he has built in the city -- but having lived a more sheltered life, she fears the beliefs she holds so strongly and all the ideals she holds for a better future are fake. She works tirelessly for them anyway.

Ex-Senator Tarchus

And last and least, Senator Tarchus was one of the few Senators opposed to the reign of Kalliopeia, the Philosopher King, on the grounds that she is a robot and not a human. Senator Diacaius promptly got him un-elected and he definitely didn't threaten anyone's children to do it. Tarchus is just a priest now and he isn't deeply resentful at all.

And that's all the named Senators! Please stay tuned for when I inevitably make 20 bajillion more!

#greco roman #original character #character design #character introduction #character concept #character art #fantasy art #fantasy worldbuilding #character creation #writers on tumblr #fantasy writer #fantasy writing #character writing #writing characters #Yssaia #Amaiguri

[ivanshogun]

Sibling's Unconditional Love Part (1/3)

My family have always been broken, Dad and Mom would usually fight because Mom always comes home late even though she doesn't work. Dad's been working hard, he's the man I want to be when I grow up. But this kind of relationship between them have always been affecting me. I'm the only child yet it feels hard. I'm happy my Friend would often comfort me. Well suddenly mom never came home, dad's been crying for days now.

“I want a divorce!”Mom said right after she arrives. I peak at my room's door as they start an argument. “But, How's our son, do you really want this? Do really hate me that much? I still love you, Don't leave us” my dad begged. “I won't change my mind, it's over, I've found someone, someone better than you” She left with her stuff, never returning again. Dad cried but he recovers, life doesn't stop just because of a girl that left you. Although still sad about my mom, I'm quite happy that Dad won't be hurt again. We lived together until he introduce someone, a girl, a co-worker, oh his boss who's also a single parent. “████, Sorry about saying this so sudden, things happened fast and now we're getting married” he said. I was shocked but I don't really mind it. Ah finally he found happiness once again. We soon moved out to her house. After a long trip, we arrived at her home, it's big and neat. There a girl sitting on the sofa, just chilling. She's beautiful. “Ah welcome home mom” oh she's gonna be my sis. “Oh who's this cute boy, come here” she approaches me and pinched my cheeks. “Uh, uhmm, hello...” I said, embarrassed since her face is too close. “Don't be shy, Come on, I'll show you around.” she grabbed my hand and soon began to climb the stairs. “Seems like they're already getting along”I heard my step-mom say, smiling as she looks at us. We got on the third floor, it looks like a whole new house, with its own kitchen, bathroom a living room and a bedroom.“This is my place!” she smiled. “Woah....” still quite shy. “We gonna stay here together” she smiled and hugged me. “Oh I haven't introduced my self yet, I'm gonna be your Stepsis, Call me Reina Nee-chan” she said as she pats my head. “Uhm err, I'm ████....” I stutter. She said she's 6 years older than me, I'm not really used to talking to a girl even though she's gonna be my new Nee-chan. “Uh, you said that we gonna stay here together, is there another room for me to sleep?” I asked. “Nope, we will sleep together In one room.” she opens the door of her room and dragged me in. She pulled me on the bed and ahh it smells so good. “Comfortable right?” she said. “Y-yeah” oh she's too close.  She hugged me tighter, eventually my head is between her moderately big chest. “You already ate dinner right? Let's sleep” she said, still hugging me. “Sure” I said. Our first night here is quite weird.

“Good morning, ████” she smiled. With my morning wood poking between her thighs, I blushed knowing that if she finds out I'd be in trouble. “Uhm, can we get up now?” I said. Looking down at my member that's still hard, it's not poking her thighs at all it's her goddang pussi....“Nope let's stay like this for while, I've been always lonely so have someone to hug comforts me” she moved her hips a little bit. “O-okay...” I said, trying hide my heavy breathings. She slowly moved her hips, making my hardened dick to to rub on her pussy. It's going faster and faster, her breath slowly goes hard and started to let out some lewd voice. Still engulfed between her breasts, I can feel her heart beating fast. Oh shit at this rate, Im gonna cum, I'm gonna cum on my underwear while my Nee-chan rubs her pussy on my dick! Shit, I can't hold back at all. As I blow my load early in the morning, she let out a loud gasp. “Hah.... Nee-chan, c-can we get up now?” I said, trying to act innocent. “Y-yeah..”she breathes heavily as she finally let go of me. “Im just gonna use the bathroom real quick..” I said as I get up. I get up and looking at my back, I can see her sitting, smiling while she gently holds on her bottom area. She got off something from her shortt, Something sticky, she started to lick it. I just realized it was my cum, she's licking it, oh shit what just happened. Seeing that, I hurried to get out and into the bathroom. I jacked off with her underwear that I saw in the clothes basket. Oh fuck, what I'm doing isn't right. While I do, I cannot help but feel someone's watching me but I just disregarded it. Eventually I came all over her underwear, oh God this is just the first day here and I've already done too much sin. Ah I even used the same thing as tissue for my cum, fuck. I decided to take a bath after doing that horrible thing. “████? You done?” she asked. I got out of the bathroom and there are now dishes on the table, oh seems like we're just gonna go and stay here on the third floor. We ate and it's actually good. “Ah thanks for the food Nee-chan” I said. She smiled at me while she cleaned up the table. “Imma go and take a bath too” she said. Oh shit where did I put that clothing soaked with my cum, oh fuck. I decide to wash the dishes and even though I hardly can distinguish what's happening inside, seems like she's moaning. Ah this is weird. “Nee-chan, I'm gonna wash the dishes” I said. “Ah ahhh ahh... S-sure”her voice is clearly trembling while she speaks. “Nee-chan? You alright? you're breathing heavily” I asked. “Yeah, might just be an Asthma attack. Just pass me my breather over the table.” she said, even though I know that it's definitely not because of an Asthma attack I still have to give it to her. I entered the bathroom and passed her the thing, I can see what's her doing inside the shower area but vaguely. Ah she's definitely onto something. I just ignored and got out to continue washing the dishes. 

The first day is definitely something weird but I don't mind staying here since it's cozy and where else can I go. Despite us having some perverted things secretly done to each other, we still act normally. I mean she's kind, clingy since she said she's always been lonely and most of all caring. Sometimes if she gets an asthma attack, I'd take care of her until she can finally breathe normally, I also felt like I've become a big brother when It comes onto those times. One thing's been always her routine Every morning, she'd take advantage of me sleeping while I have a morning wood. She always take off my shorts and start to put my dick between her thighs, she'd squeeze it or just remove her shorts but still with her undies. She'd get on top of me and start to rub herself on me. Often kissing me or hugging me while she's at it. She'd go until I cum all over her undies. She'd often hold my face after doing it, smiling and seems like she's telling Something to herself. Well Of course I'd go and pretend to be asleep, I don't want to go and actually wake up and make her explain. I don't mind her doing it as long as she don't do anything further than that. Which she probably won't.

One morning  I was in the bathroom, minding my own business while I jack off. I woke up earlier than nee-chan. I heard a knock. “████, can we take a bath together?” she said. “Wait, dont come in yet!!” I screamed out loud. The door opened, she eventually found me, sitting on the toilet while her underwear wraps my dicc. Cum oozes out and her pantsu is soaked with my semen. I can see the disgust on her face as she gets her undy. She held it up and to her face. She started to lick all the cum while I'm still frozen, shocked on what she's doing. “So......uh, let me give you a hand” she approached me and dragged me on the bathroom floor. She held my dick with her smooth soft hand. She began to jerk it off, gently moving her hand while she teases my tongue while she kisses me. “Nee-chan, what're you doing?? Stop this already..” I said after she finally let go of my lips. “I won't stop, just lay there and shoot all everything out of your balls” she said. She got a small chair and she washed her feet. She sat and stepped on my crotch.“Nee-chan, it hurts, stop” I said. She continues to stroke her feet and finally stopped. She held my dick and putted it inside her mouth, she sucked while she looks at me, her eyes pleases me to cum deep within her. I came, I came inside her mouth, oh this is definitely going to far. “Doesn't it feel great?” she said while she smiles. Looking at her at that state, seems like I've began to like her, not because she's my sister but because, well I dunno.......

Ever since that day, our relationship changed, she'd often arouse me by sucking me dry, using her thighs to sandwich my dick and make me cum. I couldn't stop her since I don't want to make her feel that I hate her and since it also does feels good for me. Well, both of us were homeschooled so we always have free time for each other, good for her I guess. We're really getting close, I just hope that she won't go too far. Being able to please her is all I can do while she takes care of me, and of course, cook for me. Mom and Dad rarely goes home because of their work but it's alright since nee-chan's been always by my side, well it would be a bad thing if they always go home and would catch us on the act. Despite of all the things that me and Reina nee-san have done, she's still the big sis material. Well except that she seduces her own brother.

It was my 18th birthday at that time, dad and mom came home for the occasion. ” “Happy birthday, ████. You've grown up, look you're even taller than me now” Reina said while she put her arm around me.“Yeahhh” I said awkwardly. “Geez it's too hot this summer, let's go out to the pool” she said, dragging me outside to the backyard. She took of her clothes, revealing  her slender body with her swimsuit on. “Come on, hurry birthday boy” she said as she take a dip. I took off my clothes too and got in. “Ahh this feels nice” I said. She got beside me, patting my head. “You've grew up, I remember when you first got here you were just like 10 years old. Now you're 18. Geez you're even taller than me now. Dang Time past so fast.” she said as she continues to pat my head.“Reina, don't pat my head, I'm not a kid anymore” I put her hand away. “Ahhh..... Reina? Call me nee-san, I'm still older than you, you know?” she said. “Well, yeah you're older than me but is there another reason?” I said,trying to tease her. “Well.... I just like how you call me nee-san” she said, blushing while she shivers. “Alright nee-san” I smiled as I pat her head. She looked at with her eyes trying to seduce me. “Well since you're 18 now, why won't we go and do something special later?” she gently caress my abdominal muscles and slowly made its way in my underwear. Stroking my Dick while I hold on her. “What do you mean? also stop, the guests are still here, we might get caught” i said. “Nevermind it and shhh, they won't catch us if you won't make a sound” she holds my lips and kissed me to make me shut up. I heard footsteps nearing in while I softly moan while I releases my cum on her hand. “What are you doing? Reina and ████” someone behind us spoke. Nee-san quickly got away from me. “Nothing dad, she's just saying something to me” I said. “Alright, we're going now, don't do anything stupid while we're away, you both take care” he said. “Yeah.....” I said. They left and Reina immediately got out of the pool and dragged me in. “████, sorry that was close” she said, blushing while her legs shivers. “Its alright, here take this towel, go take a bath upstairs you'll get a cold. I'll take care of the mess here” i said, putting a towel on her head. She went up while I clean a lil bit of mess that were left behind by the guests. My phone rang while I seat on the couch, resting for a bit while.

“████, bring  the ice creams up here If you go upstairs”

“Oh also my breather”   the messages says.

“Alright” I replied immediately

“Thank you, I'll give you a kiss....and something else 👀” She said.

“Geez, you don't need to bribe me, I'm already on my way up”.

As I enter the room, I can see her just seating neatly on the chair. She's wearing a small skirt so I can clearly see her pantsu. “Fix up your skirt, not because we're home doesn't mean you'd just show it to me like that.... I'd get a boner y'know? Just kidding” I said. She laughed and even spread her legs even wider. I put the ice cream on the fridge again so we can eat it later if she says so. “Good boy, come here” she said. Well I just can't turn down her request. She's now on the floor, laying her back at the wall. “Wait whoa” I suddenly slipped for some random reason. Now on top of her, oh God too close. “Ey, ████, you really wanted that kiss that much huh?” she said. “No, I.... I just slipped” I said. She kisses me by a bit while she continuesly blushes. “Nee-san, let go of me now” her legs wrapped around me, locking me to her. My dick slowly hardened. We both grinded to each other, my hardened dick continuesly rubbed on the thin fabric of her underwear, the soft and wet sensation didn't help on making me go limp. “You... You wanna do it?” she blushes and looks on the other way and looked at me again. “Do the real thing? I've been waiting for this day,████” she hugged me tight. She removed her pantsu and seeing her like that, made me even harder. Now she's gently guiding my dick to the entrance of her hole. “Are you sure you wanna do this? I mean.... We're siblings” I said as I hesitate to push my hips forward. “I don't mind, we aren't even blood related. And afterall, I love you,████” her face went beet red. “Well.. I lo--” my words stopped. “Geez, you're making me all embarrassed, Just do it” she locked me with her legs again, making me push my dick forward. It's in, we're finally connected. “You alright? Ugh there's blood” I said as I look down. ��Yeah I'm alright, just keep going” she said, hugging me tight while she lets out her moan. I put the whole thing in, she hugged me while she cries, gasping for air as I thrust all my might. “You alright? Can you breathe” I asked. “Yeah, it's just too sudden for me” I slowed down a bit on a calming phase. “████, kiss me” she look into my eyes. I kissed her gently, her soft lips touched mine while we both swirl our tongue. My mind's going blank as I just thrust instinctively. I look at her, she look intoxicated by the pleasure that I've gave in, she's still alright but I broke off our kiss to let her breathe. “Nee-san.... I'm gonna cum, please let me pull out.” saying that, she locked me with her legs, while hugging me to stop me from pulling out. “No don't pull out, I'm about to cum too, just pour it in, I don't mind bearing my brother's child”her insides twitch as I unwillingly pour my cum deep inside her. She finally let go of me, ah I never knew doing the real thing could be tiring. “Lets go for another round” she leaned on the wall, facing her ass to me. Being dragged in to the temptation, I thrusted hard just like how she wanted. Doing it from behind feels like I'm forcing her to do it. She moaned loudly while she breathes heavily. I touched her breast, fondling it with care, pinching her nipples and she came just by that. Later on I came inside her again. “Thank you████”my cum leaks out of her hole while her legs trembles, she fell as if she's about to pass out. I catched her immediately before she could touch the floor. I lay her down on the bed to let her rest. I guess I'd be the one cooking tonight.

#stories

[lifeofroos]

Part 57. It’s reflection time. 

In short: Nico gets therapy from Dionysus. In this chapter, they evaluate Nico’s growth from the last year. The story is on AO3 and FanFiction.net! And also in Tumblr tags like Dionysus, Nico di Angelo, therapy etc.

This Might Be Crazy: Chapter 57: Persephone’s Deadly Tasty Orange Juice

It was eight P.M. when we walked into Denny’s. Mary looked up. ‘I’m sorry, but I’ll be leaving soon.’

‘Yes,’ I said, ‘Because you should go hug Ernest. And study. How is he doing? And how is it going?’

‘It is still almost like we are blessed,’ she answered, with a sarcastic look to Dionysus, ‘and my studies are going well. If it goes on like this, I can stop working in this place in May or early june.’

‘Yay! Or, well, yay…’

‘I get what you mean. It is pretty yay.’ She winked and put a  parcel on the counter, with a golden bow around it. ‘I heard it is your birthday tomorrow?’

‘I mean… yes!’

‘My sources told me.’

I looked over my shoulder. Dionysus shrugged and I snickered. ‘Ah, yes. Sources. Do you also know how these sources found out?’

‘General divinity.’ She tapped the gift. ‘Are you going to open it?’

Careful not to tear the paper, I opened it, even though it was pretty clear it was a book. At least, I thought so until I saw it was actually a box of chocolates shaped like a book.

‘How ingenious.’

‘Absolutely, right? And the chocolates have the shape of skulls.’

‘It’s a gift that keeps on giving.’ I looked up at Mary and smiled. ‘Thanks, Mary. Thanks a lot.’

She smiled. ‘Do you want orange juice? I was going to make some.’

Of course I wanted orange Juice, even when I saw that it was made from Persephone’s sacred oranges. I decided not to ask how Mary got her hands on a full box of them. 

Dionysus and I sat down in our regular spot. ‘What is it?’ I asked. ‘Why did I have to come?’

‘Tomorrow is your birthday. That means it has almost been a year that you first started therapy.’

What. ‘Really?’  

‘Yes.’ He smiled. ‘I thought we should evaluate what was discussed.’

‘A lot.’ A god, goddang lot. 

‘A whole lot.’ 

‘You don’t say.’ 

‘I did.’

I sighed, while Mary placed two glasses of orange juice on our table. ‘Bon appetit.’ She smiled and walked back to the counter, presumably to continue packing her stuff so she could go home after we left. 

Dionysus turned back to me, while I took a sip of my orange juice. ‘Anyway. Do you think therapy has helped you?’

I nodded, without hesitation. ‘Yes. It has helped me. I feel more…’ my voice trailed off. ‘I really do, it really has, but if I say it, I might jinx it.’ 

Dionysus slowly nodded. ‘I can promise that that will not happen, but it is okay. You don’t have to say it. That is something a lot of people feel.’

I nodded, before taking a deep breath. ‘I feel better,’ I said then, which made Dionysus smile. ‘All the really big issues that were blocking my mind have been talked about. They are not completely gone, but my brain feels lighter. I learned how to give everything a place in my life.’ I took a pause to take a sip of orange juice. ‘Yet, now I do have more room to overthink other things, mostly other people. Like with May.’ I shrugged.

Dionysus slowly nodded. ‘That sounds plausible.’

‘Yes. It does cause a lot of stress when I am constantly thinking of random people.’ I took a sip, until I realised what he probably wanted me to say. ‘I think that might need to be the next step. Manage the stress and the impulsive thoughts now that the big trauma is out of the way.’

‘Indeed, but you must be cautious. It is very possible that some old fears come back.’

‘Yes. Although, a lot of the fear disappeared after I faced the Elder Gods.’ 

‘That doesn’t mean it can’t come back. Keep looking out for yourself, okay? The really nasty voices won’t come back, but the nightmares might.’

I nodded. ‘Okay.’

‘To come back to what you said before: you mean that you have a lot more room in your head to overthink, mostly about other people.’

I took a sip of my orange juice. ‘Yes. I hope that issue doesn’t become bigger, because as said before, it causes stress.’

‘Not if we treat you properly and not as long as the peaceful Elder Gods protect your mind. However, be cautious. We need to focus on finding a way to help you deal with the new thoughts you described. Both so that you don’t impulsively decide to take a trip and so that you aren’t constantly pestered by fear.’

I thought back to what happened with May. It reminded me of the trogs, who I also impulsively followed. ‘I agree.’

‘Than that can be our starting point for next sessions. You worked through the raw fears, now we need to work on the rough edges so that you can go on with your life without having as much therapy as you do now.’

I nodded. This all sounded very smart, or something. ‘Yes. Do we have a plan, then?’

He nodded. ‘I think we do. And, Nico, I really am proud of you for the progress you made this last year. You talked about a lot, dealt with a lot, found ways to give something a place. You are currently in a way healthier mindset than when you started.’

‘Thanks.’

‘Now you just need to learn how to live your life.’

‘Live my life. That’s a good one.’

He nodded. ‘Yet, right now there is only one proper plan.’

‘Is it, by any chance, sleep?’

‘It is. Drink up that juice, then we’ll get you home.’

-------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning, I was suddenly sixteen. Will, who was still asleep, had his arms wrapped around me. 

I turned my head to look at the clock on my nightstand and noticed that there were some tiny objects laying next to it. Softly, I pushed Will away from me a little, so that I could see what it was. There were a few coins, a card, a shiny packet and a note. Happy birthday, to another year of not losing your head, -D, was all the note read. Clearly Dionysus. 

The shiny pack was a Mythomagic booster pack, from a Dionysian expansion set. Very funny. There were ten regular drachmas and two black ones, to be used in the Underworld. I narrowed my eyes, wondering if this man was implying something by giving me two underworld coins. Oh, what the heck, probably not. 

The card was difficult to read without lamplight, until I had deciphered my own name on top of the card. ‘Nico di Angelo, Ghost king.’ I gasped. This was a card, an official card even, of myself. I sat up and snapped the light on to take a better look.

‘Urgh... Nico?’ Will asked sleepily. ‘What are you…’

‘Will, look…’ I pointed at the card. He wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my shoulder. 

‘Hm? Oh… is that a mythomagic card with you on it?’

‘It is an official mythomagic card with me on it,’ I corrected him. ‘Not that I play that anymore…’

‘You don’t have to lie to me.’ He kissed my neck. I put the card down. 

‘No, I don’t,’ I said, while I kissed him back. On the mouth this time. 

A/N: I legit once found a box of chocolates in the shape of a book. 

Okay boys, if you write a world where magic is real, there should be a  mechanic that protects you against mental illness.  I think the Elder Gods will be able to do that. 

Final exams have started which means I am officially dead now. 

Next chapter will be Nico celebrating his birthday with the Jacksons.

#dionysus #nico di angelo #will solace #solangelo #fanfic #fanfiction #percy jackson #pjo #percy jackson fanfic #percy jackson fanfiction #pjo fanfiction #pjo fanfic #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson and the olympians fanfic #percy jackson and the olympians fanfiction #hoo #heroes of olympus #heroes of olympus fanfiction #heroes of olympus fanfic #writing #writeblr #writer #trials of apollo #toa #tower of nero #hurt/comfort #therapy #evaluation #birthday #mental illnes

[clonesandmoans]

o i got it to work jus had to go on desktop lmao buTTTT jj, sweet bluejay, any vanilla hardcase headcanons bc the man's got a soft side??! ilu

you know me so well dove, hehehehehe i love him so much. my first clone love, my precious pyromaniac, he’s just so wonderful & deserves far better than he got and i will proudly die on that hill (also thanks for saving my ass by sending this in after i misunderstood an ask, ilysm rini) -jj

vanilla hardcase doesn’t happen often bc imo this man is W I L D in the bedroom on a normal day

but after saleucami where he watched rex, his ori’vod, get shot? he didn’t have the same happy-go-lucky energy to do the kinky stuff he normally enjoys when he comes home after a campaign

normally he’s boiling over with energy and enthusiasm, eager to have you again after spending so long gone

but tonight? he’s melancholic

you notice this as soon as he’s shut your front door. there’s a weight on his shoulders and it hurts to see it there, and you take it upon yourself to help bear some of its weight

gentle kisses to his lips, jaw, neck help center him in your living room, on your couch, in your arms

you ask him what he wants you to do, how he needs you to help him

his response is to bring your lips to his gently but with passion, a sincerity present in that kiss that he usually kept disguised with witty remarks

he needs you to bring him back to reality, to remind him that rex is okay and that he’s okay and he has the love of his life right here and nothing can hurt him when in the safety of your apartment

once the kiss breaks, he stands and helps you off the couch, guiding you to the bedroom. you let him move your body how he wants, this is about helping him heal from the horrors of the last mission. you’re surprised when he softly lays you on your back, callused hands so damn gentle as they remove your clothes so you’re bare to him

he lets you slide his blacks off with ease, him relishing in the way your touch is already centering him

the surprises don’t stop there; instead of getting to work on spreading you open as soon as you’re both naked, he just holds you, skin to skin. he buries his face into your neck as he breathes in your scent, it’s home to him and he needs that sense of home more than anything right then

you softly stroke the back of his head as you give him time to process everything. his adhd has him going a mile a minute 97% of the time and so when he needs moments of silence and still, by god he’s gonna get it if you’ve got any say in the matter

after a few minutes of holding you and reminding himself of where he is, the sparkle in his eyes come back and your hardcase is slowly starting to come back from the warzone

another deep, loving kiss has him kicking off more of that glumness, his tongue reacquainting itself with the shape and taste of your mouth

soon he’s sliding a hand between your hands, alternating between rubbing your clit and stretching you out for him

it’s tantalizingly slow and methodical, his long digits working you over

he’s taking his time to read your body and let it be the center of his focus, and when he’s satisfied with his work then he’ll lean over you, pressing his forehead to yours gently as he slowly pushes into you, eyes screwing shut once he’s seated all the way inside you

you lean up to press a soft kiss to the corner of his lips as he groans at the sensation, doing what you can to bring him back to you as soon as possible

he gives you a gentle smile as he slowly starts to rock his hips, one hand resting on your hip gently while the opposite forearm is holding most of his weight off you

his thrusts are slow and purposeful, almost every single one hitting that spot that has you seeing stars

you whisper words of love & devotion to him as you run your hands along his chest and back, feeling the way his muscles tense and relax as he fucks makes love to you

when his pace picks up it’s only marginally but it still has you whimpering his name. it spurs him on and has you both climaxing, him buried as deep inside you as he can be

“thank you for bringin’ me back, sweetheart”

“i’ll always bring you back, my love”

goddang it’s simping hours

#jj #vodka aunt #hardcase #sinful saturday #sin saturday #early soft sunday

[extraterezi]

Do you make progress videos for your art? Like speedpaints or tutorials? (If you don't, you could totally start doing it on Patreon or something, I know if pay for that)

O///O no but I’ve been wanting to do it for ages! I only have one screen rn so I cant do that OBS trick where you only record your navigator, but I’m getting a second one soon-ish! I zoom in and out a lot and I want a static speedpaint, so if anyone has any tips for doing that without a second screen then hmu :o

also tysm for showing interest its makes me so goddang happy when people like my art im rhrhrhrh

#talking shenanigans

[inevitable-for-us]

Our Second Chance - Chapter 1

Paul wakes up to another ordinary day in Hatchetfield, much to his surprise. 

Slice of life/mystery fic focusing mainly on Paul and Emma but including the entirety of Hatchetfield in its scope as the duo try to unravel how an alien apocalypse can be undone. Special thanks to my wonderful beta readers Sophia, Alyssa and Meg! 

Singing. Dancing. Sitting up in bed, heart pounding. Paul looks around with still bleary eyes and is almost surprised to see his bedroom. Blinking a couple of times, he shakes himself. Where else would he be? But the dream - it must have been a dream - he was having hangs in the back of his mind, pulling him into almost-memories of music and gunshots and staring down a meteor while fumbling with a grenade, of guts spilling out of sweaters and the dead eyes of his best friend. He grabs his phone from the nightstand and checks the time. It’s about fifteen minutes before his alarm goes off on the day the world ends. 

No. No. The world isn’t going to end. It was just a dream. Still, he finds himself rushing through his morning routine because he has to get outside as soon as possible. He has to know. He steps out of the house and takes a look around to see people rushing to their destinations, heads down, avoiding any direction but forwards except to escape the much worse fate of direct contact with another human being. Perfect. 

As he makes his way to work, he keeps scanning the crowd for a leap or a pirouette or any kind of rhythmic movement, leading his eyes to meet with those of the lady from greenpeace. He quickly averts his gaze and makes to move past her but something stops him. He takes a breath and turns to her. 

“Hey.”

“Oh. Hi.” She looks at him and raises one eyebrow, “I don’t suppose you’ve changed your mind about donating?”

Speaking. Like a normal person. The relief almost moves Paul to cheer but is quickly replaced with awkwardness as he realises he needs a reason for approaching her. 

“Um. Well, uh actually I was just thinking. About the planet… last night and a thought occurred to me! You know, I uh, I like the planet! And I feel like I don’t really appreciate how nice it is to, um. To live on it and I think it would really be a bummer if that stopped being the case so I guess that… uh… I - I wanna sign up. To Greenpeace. Donate, I mean. Yeah.”

“Really?” She blinks for a couple of moments then looks down, “Wow. Last night you seemed pretty adamant that you didn’t want to - what was it? ‘Line the pockets of some corporate executives’? Something like that.” 

There’s an awkward pause before she lifts her head again, “Sorry, that was… I’m just not used to people actually changing their mind about something.” A smile spreads across her face as she continues, “It’s nice to see that some people still do. Here, take this clipboard and this pen, if you just put your phone number here, then…”

Paul’s attention drifts to the form as he takes it from her, simply basking in the sound of the words as she explains what he’ll have to fill out. Paperwork has always soothed him, and the normalcy of the moment doubles the effect for him after such a strange start to the day. Once he’s filled out all the fields in the neat lettering he prides himself on, he passes the pen and form back. Glancing up, he catches her expression. She’s beaming, a mixture of surprise and genuine joy shining so brightly Paul can’t help but smile back, unsure of what to do or say. Just as he’d managed to banish it from his mind, an errant memory from his dream comes back to him:

I’ve never been happy… 

“I should get going.” He barely hears the woman’s thank you as he resumes his walk to work, his focus on himself this time. It’s true that he’s always felt a disconnect between himself and his own feelings. How do people know when they’re happy? He knows he felt something yesterday when he learned Emma’s name… hadn’t he? Had he felt happy then? He thinks about Emma, picturing her smile as she gave him a thumbs up, remembers her ranting about her coworkers, the way she casually flipped the towel over her shoulder, and a warm feeling spreads through his chest, making his heart actually flutter. He always thought that was just a cliche. Hey, maybe the nasty blue shit from his dreams actually made him more receptive to his emotions? If his made up musical zombies actually showed up, he’d have to remember to thank them. 

He steps into the office with high spirits, spotting Charlotte as she stirs sugar into the coffee pot. She’s wearing the same cat sweater he remembers from… He almost says something, but is interrupted by the door, turning to see Bill walking in. Seeing him alive somehow makes Paul want to cry, and hug him and grin and apologise for everything all at the same time. He settles for shooting him a friendly smile.

“Hey Bill! How was Mamma Mia? I bet Alice loved it.”

Bill stares back, shaking his head slightly.

“I don’t know how it was, Paul. Would you believe it, we got there and the whole theatre was destroyed by a goddang METEOR!”

Paul feels himself go numb.

Bill reaches out, puts a hand on his shoulder, asks if he’s okay. The warmth from his hand does nothing to melt the ice in his veins, however.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

“Paul?”

“Okay! Yeah, I’m… I’m okay. I’m fine. I-” he cuts himself off with a chuckle, trying to feign normalcy. Judging from Bill’s face, he’s failing. He quickly turns away instead and sees Charlotte, occupied with pouring herself a cup of coffee.

“Charlotte! How’s your morning been? Seen anything, I don’t know, weird?”

“Huh? Oh! Um… no, I haven’t noticed anything…” She trails off, looking away to think, before turning back to Paul and shaking her head slightly, “Not that I can think of.”

“I’ve noticed something weird!”

Paul hadn’t even seen Ted come in. He’s clearly enjoying the attention of his dramatic entrance as he takes a large swig from his coffee cup, swilling it around his mouth a couple of times before finally swallowing, smacking his lips and sighing in an exaggeratedly satisfied manner. 

Paul waits for him to elaborate. Ted turns to look at him with one eyebrow cocked and an insufferable smirk. 

“What? What have you noticed?” Paul barely bothers to hide the desperation in his tone but Ted still waits a couple of seconds, scrunching his mouth up to one side and looking away, before thrusting his cup of coffee towards Paul’s chest and turning his head back to face him, expression suddenly serious.

“You. Since when do you care this much about how everyone’s day has been?”

It takes a moment for Paul to process his answer. Once it clicks, he chuckles nervously and looks around for support, only to find Bill and Charlotte both watching him expectantly. Yikes.

“Well, you see… the thing is, I’ve just been having a really weird day, and,” he starts backing up towards the door, “Say! I know what I need! A nice cup of black coffee from Beanies! Do you guys want anything? Bill, how about a nice caramel frappe? Nothing better!”

He bumps into the door and quickly turns to push it open, not waiting for an answer. He hurries down the road, trying to decide whether to worry about the meteor to distract him from his awkwardness or dwell on his awkwardness to distract him from the possibly impending apocalypse. Fortunately, he arrives at Beanies before he actually settles on one. When he sees Emma, he manages an almost genuine smile, which she returns to his delight.

“Hey! I remember you. Paul, right? What’ll it be?”

Paul orders a simple black coffee as he slips a fiver onto the counter and watches her prepare the pot with a softness in her eyes and the slightest upturn of her lips.

She spots the money on the counter and that smile widens, pulling her bottom lip behind her teeth as she looks up at him cheekily. 

“I was looking forward to you showing up!”

Looking away to pour his cup, her expression turns pensive. As she hands him his coffee, she almost seems to scoff and shakes her head a little, the smile creeping back onto her face.

“You know, this might sound weird, but I actually had a dream about you last night.”

“Really?” Paul’s eyebrows shoot up and he wonders whether he should mention his own dream after hearing hers. “What was it about?”

“Okay, this is definitely going to sound weird, but, um…” she trails off for a moment, wiping the counter, before looking back up at him wryly. “It was about singing alien zomb-”

She’s cut off by Paul dropping his cup.

#tgwdlm #the guy who didn't like musicals #my fic #our second chance #feedback is appreciated but please be nice #i hope you enjoy! #<3

[secretpianer]

How about Kenny giving Butters or Stan a piercing ? 👀 for the writing prompts

Butters has lost his mind.

Surely that’s it; or maybe it’s the heat, enough to broil the surface of his skin to a nice lobster pink; or the summer boredom, hours of brain-juicing numbness on his couch playing the same game while topless, his skin meshing with the leather exterior; or it’s his parents, being exposed to so much more of their eccentricity and strictness that it’s popped the top of his cool patience clean off and fried all of the contents in his head along with it. He eagerly anticipates their departure every morning and then dreads the hours following their return home.

Whatever the reason, he’s getting his goddang bellybutton pierced and everyone else can shove it you-know-where.

“You okay there?” Kenny asks, glancing up from the tools he’s set up on his table.

“Huh? Yeah, of course!”

“Hm. You’re frowning pretty heavily, my dude.”

Butters reaches up to pat his cheeks. Kenny is right– his muscles are super tense. He folds his hands back over his bare stomach, staring at the ceiling and feeling strangely like he’s on a therapist’s couch. But he’s only lying on his own blue striped duvet, done up for Kenny’s visit because he was never able to shake the habit of tidying up for guests. Everything in his room is clean and sterile. At least Kenny hasn’t commented on it, but Butters is sure as heck that he’s thinking about it.

“Is there a reason why you decided to do this so suddenly?” Kenny asks, swabbing a very long, very pointy looking needle with a cotton ball soaked in alcohol. Butters gulps.

“Uh, no special reason,” he says, tapping his thumbs together.

“Really.” Kenny narrows his eyes ever so slightly at the needle, but Butters knows he’s unconvinced. “Because I’ve never heard you talk once about having a piercing.

“I-I’ve always wanted one!” Butters says, rising off the bed a little, but then immediately lying back down. “You’ve just. Never heard me talk about it.”

“Mhm, sure.”

It is partially true; he’s always wanted a piercing or tattoo. But he never thought it’d be so soon. Truthfully, Butters had wanted his ear pierced, only the right one, loving the fashionable twinkle of the goth kid’s piercings when they caught certain angles of the light, but that would never go over sweetly with his dad. So it was between his tongue or his bellybutton. He felt a tongue one would be more difficult to hide.

The AC kicks on then and a cold breeze blows over Butters’ bare chest, making goosebumps rise on his skin. He shivers and covers his chest, feeling exposed.

“Can we hurry up a little? I wanna finish this before they get here,” he says, rubbing his arms for warmth.

“You cold?”

“A little.” 

Kenny stands next to the bed. He slots the sparkling crystal stud that Butters had chosen through the tip of the needle. When he’s done, he hovers over Butters with it and a cloth soaked in alcohol. He pats Butters’ stomach, making him yelp.

“This’ll be over quickly,” he says, cleaning the skin all around Butters’ bellybutton, where he slapped him.

He asks the question he’s been dreading to ask since the start. “Will...will it hurt?”

Kenny smiles sincerely at him. “You’re tough. You can handle it.”

Hearing him say that is a more reassuring gesture than a definitive ‘yes’ or ‘no.’ Butters appreciates it, smiling back. “Thanks, Kenny. You’re a real pal.”

Kenny’s smile returns to the needle, which he swabs again for the fifth time. “No problem, dude.”

It happens in a second, and Kenny talks him calmly through it, almost like a doctor. The needle sinks through his skin and Butters makes the smallest “oof” noise, and then it’s over. There’s a little blood, and Kenny dabs at it gingerly with cotton and tissue soaked in disinfectant. Butters glances down and sees the sparkly bead nestled comfortably inside his bellybutton and feels a swell of pride rise in his chest. 

“Wow! It’s um, pretty,” he says. Looking at it, he can feel the adrenaline drain from his blood, and the pounding in his head from his heart. Wanting to touch it, he stops, realizing that his hand has been clutching Kenny’s sleeve the whole time. He lets go of it, flushing hotly over his cheeks. “Sorry,” he says quietly.

"Butters, you’re fine.”

Kenny reaches down to pat Butters’ hand. Feeling better, Butters breathes out a sigh he’s been holding the entire time.

“Oh, I hope I won’t regret this,” Butters moans, staring back at the ceiling as Kenny goes to grab another cotton ball. He soaks it in alcohol and then dabs the tiny bead of blood leaking from Butters’ bellybutton.

“Maybe, but in the meantime, you’ll look hot as hell.” He moves away to clean the needle. “Besides, I don’t regret mine.”

“You have piercings?” Butters asks, wide-eyed.

“Yeah. I don’t wear most of them to school, but I have one–“

“Most of them?”

“Haha, yeah. But I leave a couple on all the time. Like...”

Kenny sets his tools down and faces the bed and Butters looks over. Slowly, he lifts up his shirt, and Butters can’t believe it; a small silver rod pierces through his right nipple. It looks so cozy there, the perfect, tug-able size...

It’s too late to stop his hand before he realizes what it’s doing. Butters has reached up, slid his hand over Kenny’s pec to brush his finger over the piercing. It’s warm. The tiny bulbs that stick out reflect the shine of his lamp, what is becoming the last bit of light in the room as the sun is fading from the window. Butters fleetingly thinks ‘I want one too’ before Kenny’s lips part and he lets out a small gasp. He snatches his hand back like it’s been burnt.

“Sorry, sorry–“

“It’s fine.”

“I didn’t mean–”

“Butters.”

Kenny gently takes his hand. Butters’ breath freezes in his chest, as Kenny carefully draws his hand back to his chest. They stare at each other in mutual shock as their skin connects, and Butters takes control back of his hand, running his hand over Kenny’s muscles, delaying the inevitable drag of his fingers back over his pierced, erect nipple–

“Butters! We’re home!” comes his dad from downstairs. “We have chinese!”

The warmth in his body fizzes out like a dead firework. Butters’ hands fall, and their eyes break contact. A sick pit forms in Butters’ stomach.

“Y-You have to go. I don’t know how–”

“The window.” Kenny snatches up his stuff in a rush, throwing it all carelessly into his backpack. “They won’t see me.”

“If they do, they’ll–”

“I know.” He’s already at the window, throwing it open to the fast approaching night sky. Kenny looks back over his shoulder at Butters and grins.

“What?” Butters asks, sitting up slightly and feeling the tug of his skin around his bellybutton.

Kenny’s ears are red. Butters is sure of it as he steps over the ledge with his backpack slung on one shoulder and his eyes twinkling playfully.

“Let me know if you want another piercing anywhere else. Or if you need help maintaining that one.”

With that, he flees into the night. A moment later, his parents yell for him to come down. He can’t, not right away. He thinks about having to face his parents after what just happened and can’t process it. Baby steps. Get up, put on a shirt, fix a smile to his lips.

 But first, he has to peel his hands off from his burning, apple-colored face. 

#sp bunny #south park #kenny mccormick #butters stotch #thank u for the ask!! #also id idn't do any research on piercings so #apologies for that #also i didnt edit it #my poops #Anonymous

[project-cadeau]

       ▁ ▂ ▄ ▅ ▆ ▇ █ 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔤𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰 𝔲𝔭𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔢! █ ▇ ▆ ▅ ▄ ▂ ▁

(warning: long post!)

Time for another one of these bad-boys.  <(￣︶￣)>

I’ve focused on aesthetic aspects of the game as I’ve started to finalize the demo-- (more on that later). These aesthetic aspects include:

NAËL REDESIGNED!:

I redesigned Naël! This will be his final change as I am hopelessly in love with this new design. Naël’s previous design was rushed and lazy, as I was putting him off for a long time and I just wanted to get him done. Thus, his colors were extremely clash-y and I ended up with a product I didn’t love. Many other problems, yada yada yada, let's keep going!

NEW MAPS!:

And quite a few more that I think I’ll keep secret for now.

I’ve discovered a new method of parallax mapping which allows me to create them 5x easier and allows me to set moods and atmosphere 185873x easier.

There’s new menu too! Those slots will fill and deplete as you gain/loose members of your party. (In other words, as people follow you and leave you).

SPRITES SPRITES SPRITES!

BAM! I hate making sprites but here they are. I managed. I lived. Barely.  

∠(ﾟ⊿ﾟ 」∠)＿

THE PAINTER IS KINDA DIFFERENT NOW?

You may remember the painter from a few posts on this blog. (Specifically the pride month post and the special update video). They weren’t fully designed and well planned, as Cadeau was just a little baby back then! Now it’s a big kid and knows what the HECK it’s doing.

Their called the botanist now, and while they aren’t fully fleshed out in terms of... well, much of anything-- here’s what I have so far.

They tend to the flowers, and there is a lot of them. They have selective mutism and I love them with all of my GODDANG SOUL. DO YOU HEAR ME?? THIS IS MY BABY.

Obviously, their bust and sprite are not complete, but I’m quite confident with this design. It needs a bit of thinking, however. So that I won’t have to go back and re-do anything.

Now, on to what we’ve all been waiting for...

DEMO FINALIZING!

You heard me right folks, the demo is coming veeery soon. Here are our demo progress bars

IGNORE all of the old progress bits I put out. I didn’t know what in the world I was doing or how to go about calculating the percentage, and was just bs-ing my estimates! Now that I’m far more organized and actually have this damn game planned out, I can actually say what the percentage is.

You might be thinking “Wtf mac this isn’t close at all” but trust me, it is. The percentages that we’re missing are small or easy things that I can complete very quickly. The big boys are out of the way-- and I estimate the demo will be released sometime in February!

I DONT KNOW IF YOU’RE EXCITED BUT IM REALLY FRICKEN EXCITED GUYS.

ALSO I’m sorry for being so un-organized up to now  (；´∀｀) I promise that this is an accurate percentage and that Cadeau is coming soon!

Thank you for following the development of Cadeau! YOU’RE SUPER AWESOME DUDE! ★>d(,,･ε´-,,)⌒☆

- MACC

I haven’t forgotten about that surprise by the way  :Oc

#rpg maker #rpg #game development #horror #anime #update #progress report #project-cadeau #Log

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Real feel: mother fucking wear your gloves!!

So 36 cars all sweept in most with red Xs

19 cars altogether got pulled over

2 cars got arrested I saw one being towed away. Almost 3 did but he self soothed himself and calmed down.

My dad (uncle) came and every car left in the parking lot took off in flight.

Denise the clone also came. She can't jump stsrt a car so she expected me to wait for her then wait for a tow truck and my dad knew we were gonna get in a fight cause ita too dam cold for that and she's on her rape cycle and I refuse to get in a car with her. Because it's annoying and I don't want her feeling satisfied she can breathe the same air as me.

It's 5 minutes, 10 at most to jump. 45 minutes to wait for a man and its like 20 minutes to the store.

And i learned how to jump start without lighting the cables on fire, now. Lucas says "oh please! That's the best way!" But not really. It doesn't actually work...

I have no circulation... So I was ice cold in like 10 minutes. So it would had warmed me, tho.

But yeah dad pulls in and suddenly everyone acts like they're escaping jail.

.... I know i should just went in and stared at that super hottt clone hottie that was super super hot and stocking water... But that IS kinda creepy even if he is Just a clone... I was all driving by in my Wal-Mart wheelchair cart and I was all whoa... Is he..? Wait i gotta see l.. Because he squatted down with his hot warm balls beneath him and so I was all lets stop right here in the middle of life and discuss what's on our shopping list until he comes up from behind the pallet...

"Oh my God. Now i see why I was so in love with you William" while my heart literally leaps from my chest bounces back and goes out of rhythem while pounding through 2 shirts.

So then we laughed at my reaction for half hour

Dam he was rugged and hot...

One time I picked up William early for work and I seen him and he ducked behind some concrete shelving used to block off the street from traffic...

And oh my God...

I was walking and I seen him and I was all "oh does he loo--" and he looked at me, i swear and ducked and so i was all "well I'm gonna go see. I don't think William will mind.. Its not like i totally think hes sexy but he might be... I'll just go see... Is it William..?"

Because he was waaaay sexier at work than home... Like there it's all comfy and fun and sexy but this was outside and he looked all sparkly and God like like yum

Now he claims he saw me and saw "a woman on the prowl way too sexy to be at the job site for any work related reason" so to be safe from a kidnapping situation he decided to hide

And hide he did

I leaned over to peek and he kept hiding and hiding and asked some guys at the truck "is she gone?"

"No"

One asked "why are you hiding from your wife?"

"Man! I got one at home! Well i am engaged. Man is she crazy? Does she look it?! Fuck man! Im gonna be so busted! I need to get home! I can't get kidnapped! Fuck this!"

And my eyes got real wide and the guy at the truck just shrugged cause i was all what do i do?!?!

So i kinda jumped and leaned over real far over the cement shelving. "Well HI!!"

I was gonna ask him if he thought i was a psycho bitch then to my face but i slid on the plastic and unfortunately I was wearing a shorter dress than usual.

So he stood up "ma'am I'm just checking the paperwork ill be right back" and ducked again.

"Baby! Uh hi! Baby I don't want to yell but I think i just showed everyone my thong!!"

"What?! Okay i have to finish the uhh paperwork. Man my wife ain't even here shes at home finishing up supper or something"

"Uhm baby! There's a lot of men here which one do you want me to go home with?!"

"Uh any!! Just not me!!"

Mind you everyone is looking at me and him and listening. This is outta control and m6 husband does not say that shit to me, i tried being solid now it was fight time. So i leaned over the other end of the cement wall he loved more than me and lowered my voice "hey psst yeah. Psst William man that crazy bitch is gone now. Jump in the truck and we will take you home!!"

"Really?!?!" He lowered the clipboard he hid behind. "Oh... No.., see.., no i got a ride already!"

"Yeah with me you dumb goon"

"No in here see!" And he jumped in the back of the truck. "I finished the paperwork. Alright let's go!"

So i started to walk over and he jumped way far back in the truck

"Can you please help me? Are you the one i called?" I asked the guy laughing painfully through the whole ordeal.

He looked me up and down real hard "you sure you dont want me to take yoh home?!"

"Am i even at the right construction site?!?!"

"Yes you are. Here hand him this piece of paper." Then he yelled over "HEY WILL she called a little before lunch and left a note and asked if it was alright if she came up and surprised you and i said yeah.. I didn't know you would go a little crazy..."

"She ain't my wife!! Shes too sexy!"

"WHAT??? IM GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!!! IM FUCKING COMING UP THERE YOU BETTER GET DOWN!"

"No fuck you bi-atch!!! Wait... Honey? Is that you? I recognize your fingernail because you smashed it the other day"

"Oh it's alright. Just come down" i pleaded.

"With the hammer..." He began walking towards me "let me see it" he looked at it. "Miiiiike if you ever do that again I'm beating the shit out of you." And he sat at the end of the tail gate "well i already got a ride home, with him."

"Okay fine"

"Wait let me see what you have in your hand. These are our keys!! These are mine you're not having them and not allowed in my house Like that... Dressed like a... A... Skank!!"

"Well what do you want me to do? Stay here and get gang raped?!"

"Jesus Christ okay babe prove to me you're my wife"

"Okay fine but don't tell me your sorry" i went around the truck and took off my panties wadded them up and stuffed them in his hand "they're your favorite"

"Yeah but everyone knows that!"

"Who do you tell? Who the fuck do you tell about your favorite panties?!" Like im beyond mad. And I am yelling.

"Yeah well where did you get that dress?! Whose money did you use to buy it??! Hmm?"

"Ive had enough of me" i tried to get MY csr keys back and he wouldn't let me take them "being mother fucking nice to you" he was stronger than me So i tried to armpit trick

"Fuck you being mean to me! Come here!"

"You'll tear my dress! No! My shoe!"

"I think she's really upset at me. I think I've upset her" I bent to fix my shoe and my dress didn't cover ... Anything... Back there. "Hey quit it will you?!"

"Just give me back the key to my car and keep every thing else. Fuck it. Im tired of you anyway. I cook i clean and i come to surprise you and this is what i get and I REFUSE TO CRY HERE IN FRONT OF EVERYONE SO GIVE ME BACK MY SHIT!!!" and i threw the paperwork in his face and busted his nose.

"I,understand you're my baby but did you need to hit me in the face and make my nose bleed?" He said calmly snd slowly

"Youre not bleeding, oh yeah you are. Use the panties"

So this bastard stands up in the back of the truck with my panties to his face and says "Hey Everyone, I'd Like You To Meet My Wife!"

"We've seen a whole lot of her already"

I turn around and there's not 5 or 6 guys anymore. There's 30.

"Oh shit" and I pull my dress down. "Can we just leave?! Please?!?"

"Yeah!! Lets go!!"

So he picked me up and rushes to the car with me and a bunch of dudes come around the corner and i tell him to put me down cause I can feel his hand on my bare ass.

So hes all "goddang it why did you dress so sultry?!"

"For my husband!!! who is apparently a God dang Ass Hole!!!!!!! when hes at work!!"

"Oh honey i didn't mean anything by---"

"Come on let's go!!!" As we rush around the corner there's like 50 construction workers staring hard. "I am never doing this again!!"

"Why?!"

"Hurry and please open the door!!" He reached across and unlocked it

I covered my face with my hands "oh my god oh no you're insane!"

"What? What are you saying to me?!"

"Don't you know you have PTSD? Male trauma? Because I Didnt!!"

"Well yeah I was kidnapped when i was like five!!"

"But you didn't even know me!?!"

"You never wear makeup and not dresses that short!"

"I do all the time!! I walk around partially naked all the time!!!" I looked at traffic "its just the lipstick here let me wipe it off"

"Thats better you could did that at the construction site!"

"Well i just put it back on in the car and I didn't know that's why you were freaking out and going insane on me!!"

"Put it back on?! Why the Hell?!

"I ate a biscuit"

"Why did you put it on in the first place?"

"Have you seen in my caboodle? I have a ton of it! When you get home, look!!"

"Okay alright i will"

"Where are we going? I thought we would go to Tulsa"

"Not now! I gotta go home to make sure you are --- you!!! Now come on!!

"You're the one driving"

"Its my car!!"

"No! Its mine and my dad's see the registration?!?!"

"That's it I'm gonna pull over. Let me see the mole that's on your thigh"

"Its not a mole! Its a freckle!"

"Fine let me see it And you drive!!"

"Okay Okay fine I'll let you see it"

He looks "ok you're you then!"

"Who else would i be?!?"

"A clone!"

"From the freezer?!? Come on! Not me! Let me drice then!"

"You're losing your cool and you never do!"

"Omg Jesus Christ are you kidding me?!?"

"Uhm no"

"I need to start smoking pot. We need to get our own place and we do then this happens."

"Smoking pot?! Uhm no! I do not think so! Here you drive then!! You're a nervous wreck. You need control"

"No i need sex but my husband is INSANE!! I try a nice surprise to be unspoiled and then this happens!"

"Who calls you spoiled?!"

"YOU DO!!"

"Jesus Christ! Do you want a hotel?!"

"What?! No we got dishes at home. They will get me unstressed"

"HON-EY!"

"I'm getting in the back seat PULL OVER!!"

"Now I'm talking! You think i want you to come all this way to go home?"

"BACKSEAT!!!"

As soon as the back Windows fogged a truck of his co-workers drove by honking.

When we finished he said

"We are going home because you NEVER do that to Me!!"

"It was a surprise!! And no im not driving! Im staying in the back seat!"

"You NEVER do that to Me either!!!"

"Well it's a surprise!!!"

I wanna cry he upset me so much so I'm,all screaming from my throat and it sounds all shrill and out of control and hes like trying to calm me down and I don't want to be upset and feeling like life is out of control but he really showed me shit i hadn't seen and I was scared to be at home because what was next? I used a different sauce because I was pregnant and so he throws me out into the street? Barefoot and all because i look different? So i just cried myself to sleep in the back seat of my own car because I didn't know what else to do and it was the only thing i could accomplish that day,

I heard the car door open and close...

He didn't go around the other side to open and get me out... It was dark and cold already.

"There's no one upstairs. Now what do you want to do?" He sat in the car

"I'll just go to my parents. I'll come get my clothes later"

So he yanked open the car door, jumped out, threw the seat forward, yanked me out of the car, threw me over his shoulder, put his hand over my bare ass and carried me up 3 flights of stairs.

Put me in the single comfy chair we had and made dinner.

He sat on a pillow on the floor next to me and fed me.

"What are we going to do if i get pregnant and my body starts to change?"

"Ill just take pictures. I'll use my Polaroid"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I had found out I wss pregnant that morning... Feeling sick like crazy... I took a test in the gas station bathroom. Wrapped it in my purse and went and bought a new dress and shoes and went home, took a bath did my hair and thought I had the whole day still so i should go surprise him at work and go out in Tulsa and make it special... Not days later after the whole town had to come over and seperate us from fighting cause I'm kinda crazy pregnant... And after 2 weeks of couple's therapy and he says "oh baby you're sick a lot i think you may be pregnant. You think?"

"Oh yeah i am. Check my purse."

He did take me out to Tulsa... And I was a bit sad... Because we had been through a lot since that day.. And i wanted telling him to be really special... Turned out he was.

.

.

.

I had taken Polaroid of myself that morning before i got dressed and one from the side and then one after. And wrote "oh!" "Baby!!" "Surprise!" And the date.

Cause I learned how to set the timer and take one of myself

So he went and got them abd said "okay im sorry i shouldn't yelled at you for taking naked Polaroids of your self. Now I see why you would take them. Okay?"

"I guess."

"DID I NOT APOLOGIZE RIGHT?!"

"MAYBE I DIDN'T YELL AT YOU RIGHT WHEN YOU YELLED AT ME!!"

He got up like he was fuming mad and circled me like a vulture i Put my arms up and he circled me 2x more then stopped in front of me and I put my hands on his neck

"Are we going to bed? Ill cook dinner after"

"Mmhmmm I'll help!"

[cosmosogler]

hi guys! did you know, that if you do what a doctor tells you to do, like wear prescribed glasses, then you start to feel better? i learned that today.

i actually had horrible dreams last night. well, the first one was awful. i dreamed that eve’s leg disintegrated... tumors bubbled out from her leg and the fur and skin boiled away and then there were bones and then there was nothing. i startled awake and i must have made some sort of noise. i was laying on my back, which was weird, but also, eve was pretty much on top of my foot. 

then i had dreams about normal weird things. i have no idea how to describe what transpired. it wasn’t... relentlessly grim, i guess, at least? i really can’t... it was at the mountain village. there was, like, a protest going on? or maybe it was a theater act? there was something about it that made it really clear that it was supposed to be an act, but i got the feeling they weren’t really acting.

i was supposed to be an “animal,” but when i looked in the mirror, it was just me, which was really disorienting. i could clearly feel that i had different body parts and only one eye, but my reflection was just normal. it’s not normally normal...

anyway after that i was really parched and didn’t feel like going back to sleep so i just got up the first time my alarm went off at 9. i noticed my brother was still asleep, and i wanted to swim, so i waited for him to wake up so i could invite him. at around 10:15 i got bored of waiting and got up for some breakfast. then i woke him up and he didn’t want to swim. so i just went by myself. i made sure to spray wiley with the hose before i hopped in at least. mother joined me and told me a bunch of really obvious things about eve that she seemed to think i hadn’t thought about or noticed? like that her leg is hurting her. i went inside and showered before i got sunburnt which was nice.

i put on a skirt and a nice shirt because i felt like it. then i hung out on the computer for a while. mom made the last of my soy products into a sandwich for lunch. it was either try the brand i hadn’t previously liked or have mac and cheese yet again. the quorn thing turned out ok though. then i went through my previously-liked music on youtube and either downloaded it or found out where to buy it, and found some custom album art, and updated my ipod again. i also wore my glasses which actually did help with the headache a lot. i think it made me grind my teeth unconsciously a little less too because my jaw doesn’t hurt nearly as bad. 

then i went and picked up asher and we went to see wonder woman. i had a few problems with the movie but mostly it was really solid and i liked it a lot. i really appreciate that there’s finally a super hero movie starring a woman that isn’t a total mess.

i somehow acquired welts along my left arm over the course of the movie. along with the stronger than usual nausea and illness from the theater food, it made me pretty miserable for the second half of the movie. they cleared up pretty fast once we got outdoors though. on the way home dad really stepped over the line with asher. we were talking about, like, historical accuracy and weird anachronisms like wonder woman having shaved legs and armpits. that trend didn’t really start until world war 2 if asher’s history is correct. dad got super weird about it and asher mentioned that he doesn’t shave. and dad was all, “you should.” all aggressive-like. i watched asher but i really didn’t want to get in a fight with dad... 

i feel like a coward. but also, with my parents i really need to pick my battles. but i should have picked that battle. what’s wrong with me? i just sat and watched while one of my friends got, well, harassed. is that the kind of person i am?

i’m so terrified of the consequences of acting on my anger toward my parents that i’ve become very passive. and, normally it’s whatever, because i just want to keep my head down and get through my financial hurdles. but... why did dad think it was necessary to start ragging on my friend about his body hair? shaving isn’t really a hygiene thing. it might make you LOOK cleaner, but it doesn’t actually make you cleaner. unless it’s like super thick beard hair with gunk stuck in it. but leg hair doesn’t... it doesn’t matter. it shouldn’t matter. am i really just going to let him attack my friends like that? am i going to be like that forever?

i need to make better choices. i know they’re not always safe choices... and it would require playing with my cards less close to my chest. right now it seems like safety is more important than doing the right thing. and that bothers me. especially considering the self destruction thing. 

i’m not... afraid of physical pain. i don’t care if he or mom hits me at this point, not really. but i am very afraid of being cut off. not just financially. i could MAYBE make it work at this point by myself. but cut off as in kicked out of the family. having my computer broken. not being allowed to use the car. having lies told about me to my siblings and cousins. i wouldn’t be covered by dad’s insurance and i NEED these medications to not die. 

i can’t tell if that should be more important than supporting my friends or not. how am i supposed to protect other people when i can’t protect myself?

asher and i hung out at the house for a while and played with eve and wiley and talked about art. then we piled into the car for dad to drive asher home. sometime during the drive my eyes started really hurting. like, dry and stuck. they still don’t feel better. dad and i stopped at the grocery store and i picked up some bagels. i need to head over to the grocery store again tomorrow to get some stuff to make for dinner the next few days. and also get my glasses’ endpieces tightened a bit because they keep slipping down my nose. and also drop some more stuff off at the bank. 

i guess i should do some therapy stuff and also look at some physics. my classmates want to start doing voice calls. i am extremely nervous about it. i should eat something, because i didn’t really have much at the movies, but it’s almost midnight and i shouldn’t eat right before bed... i might do it anyway. i don’t want to try to sleep with my stomach totally empty. for the last six hours i just haven’t felt like eating anything. like i’ll be hungry, and then i’ll think about what i should try eating and i will immediately stop being hungry as soon as i try to look at my options.

i keep having dumb ideas. i try to put them out of my mind and they keep coming back. i just... want to share stuff with my dad or brother. my instinct is to try to be emotionally close with them. i want them to see how good steven universe is. i want them to maybe think about the choices they make while playing undertale. dad liked adventure time up until there was an episode with basically no jokes... we haven’t watched a single episode after that and that was toward the end of season 6. we had almost caught up... he never asks to watch it. he never asks to watch jojo either and he seemed to really enjoy it.

they are dumb ideas because i know they wouldn’t like steven universe or undertale or homestuck or soma. dad didn’t even talk about portal 2 after playing it. he didn’t react to the ending. my brother kind of hated the first one. i guess it didn’t have enough guns? he plays tons of first person shooters. like... slender.

i know they wouldn’t like any of these quirky/thoughtful/unique things but my instinct is still to desperately want these people to enjoy them. or... enjoy them with me, i guess. portal 2 is literally my favorite game and i just thought... it would be good to share it. but it was just kind of empty.

heh. one of my classmates in our graduate discord channel asked if my avatar was from homestuck. maybe this new community will be ok. maybe i won’t have to ask people to like things that i already like so i’ll have someone to talk to about it.

i miss my classmates at nau.

there are plenty of other things that i really like that i recognize aren’t... that good. i used to talk about those things with craig a lot. i thought he would understand. but, well, you know.

mass effect was good. it really was. i loved it. but i can’t play it any more. it was the only thing he wanted to talk about.

but the good things i love to share with people. i want them to see things they like, and find new things to like. and maybe also find new things to like that i already like so we can discuss it. and i can’t do that. i can’t share. it won’t work.

i had a good time with asher today. i’m glad he was willing to sit through a movie he’d already seen so i could see it with him. i’m so glad he wanted to talk about it afterward without shutting down the conversation with “you’re too picky” or “you’re too negative” or “why can’t you just enjoy the movie?”. or the dreaded “you’re too much.” 

tomorrow... i need to sit and take a serious look at some basic physics. i need to take stock of what i remember and don’t remember. and i need to get to a point where i am slightly less severely uncomfortable with the idea of talking to someone else about it. 

i guess, there’s more to it than just being socially anxious. intellectually anxious. it’s like... i’m a girl. i have physical “girl” characteristics. i know there’s more than one girl in our class but there’s not many. i’m automatically an ambassador for all women just by virtue of being uncommon. and if i’m not better than the guys, i will not be respected, and it will be a sign that they shouldn’t respect any woman’s intelligence. that’s how it works with male dominated spaces. if you’re a woman in science you can’t just be as good as the men. you have to be better. having the same credentials as a man, exactly the same, when applying for a job will give the man an automatic advantage. 

and... i can’t be better. i’m just an average student. i’m not the academic dreadnought i was in goddang third grade. actually my grades really suffered in christian school. and i struggled to catch up in middle school when we moved to a new place. i understand the material but test environments get me so rattled that i really can’t show anyone how much i actually understand, and failing my tests means i have no reference for how much i understand and how well. i’m even withdrawing during standardized tests, and multiple choice questions are what i am literally best at.

at least in a school environment i have more weaknesses than strengths. but you need to be academically solid to get that first job. and also to graduate. 

i choke whenever i show anyone anything. commissions were so stressful and i know my drawings then weren’t my best work. asking dad to watch the end of a game with me while i beat the last level (ten years ago), when i had beaten it multiple times, was a gauntlet of nervous mistakes. i could shoot arrows at targets just fine when the instructor wasn’t looking. but the moment he started giving us points based on performance i wavered.

and that performance issue is tangled up in a whole heap of dumb self esteem issues and subconscious locks and fears about not being able to win even when i do my best. i was... hoping i could work on that a little in therapy. i might not get to now. before i work on the test/performance anxiety i need to address the major self esteem issues. it’s not gonna help long term to treat a few symptoms and not the glaring error. just gonna burn out again.

i get a lot of mixed signals about my abilities. mom was pretty insistent on tying up my self worth with my ability to do math. to the exclusion of everything else (”you’re emotionally retarded” etc). she would say things like “you’re going to save the world” and talk to her friends/my doctors/literally everyone about what a math prodigy i was. it was never really about how hard i worked or any other skills i may have wanted to develop. and then when school got harder i didn’t get better at it to compensate. my grades are average at best. toward the end of high school my grades were not average. i barely pulled through my ib exams. at villanova my grades were not even below average. i could not understand calculus at all. i couldn’t figure out why i didn’t understand it or what kind of teaching style might suit me better. i started feeling really stupid.

and people still tell me how smart i am! but i’m not smart! the data is there!!! i am not always a fast learner, or even usually a fast learner. and now i’m too anxious to pick up much of anything...

i dunno. it’s 12:30, which is past my bedtime. i should be tired but i’m just kind of electrified. even though my eyes still hurt. i don’t really have anything else to say right now, but i don’t want nightmares...

[animedump]

KonoSuba

I found the anime really dissapointing.

I am mostly dissapointed in the characters, almost all of them actually. They were given 10 episodes to better themselves, but in the end, theyre all the same, just like Aqua's f☆cking stats for god's sake. I hope they get better in season 2 because im praying to Kami-sama right now that this show doesnt end up trash.

Kazuma is a great leader when it comes to strategizing, but he doesnt really try to improve his teammates from the start. Each of them have their flaws to fix, and he doesnt give a sh☆t about it. Well, he did try to help Megumin practice her Explosion Spell, but all he did was to describe the explosion, carry Megumin, then walk away. He doesnt even say anything that would help Megumin from falling. He just says "This explosion was better than the last" and not "Try to not use too much magic that'd make you weak" or some sh☆t like that.

Just like what Kazuma said, Aqua is a useless goddess. Well, sometimes. She does uses her magic to fight. What's really annoying about her is that she complains most of the time before or after a dangerous situation. She literally said that she wanted to go home when they were facing the Destroyer, that would soon wipe out the whole town. What the heck? Both Aqua and Kazuma become less and less serious to prepare for the Devil King as the series progresses.

I was waiting for character development in Megumin. When I saw that she could only use one spell, I was looking forward to her character as a magician that could use other spells aswell. Despite her love for Explosion, I thought that Megumin would come to realize that she cannot become the most powerful magician if she only knew one spell, but in the end..no other spell was learned and she has still not mastered her Explosion Spell. Megumin has to step up her game because her character development is just sad.

As for Darkness, her masochist character is meh. Its annoying but sometimes funny. Like the others, Darkness has her flaws. She cant aim her sword properly and has trouble hitting her enemies. Honestly, I dont give a damn about her using her own body as a shield at this point, but she needs to learn how to use a goddang sword because this b☆tch cant swing sh☆t. She's a messed up character overall (I read spoilers that she tried to rape Kazuma? Which is messed up man)

As for the side characters (who barely get any screentime), theyre all plain and get disposed after they have made use for the episode. Most of them dont fight alongside the main characters outside the gates of Axel, but when they do, they die instantly. All magicians, all adventurers, all arch priests, they just rely on those 4 low leveled children and praise them when they defeat the enemy.

The designs of the monsters look uncreative and uninteresting. They look so boring and plain. But the character designs are cool. So yay.

This is just season 1 lmao. Like I said, season 2 better be good man. The opening is alright. Animation is eughrgh..meh. uhh thats it.

#useless comments

[gnatnip]

i goddang love my students so much i say it all the time but it’s true

y-kun never shuts up but i’m here for it.. if he weren’t so endearing he’d be annoying probably but i love him. today he was singing jingle bells lmao and then later 5 little monkeys... but what makes it cute is that he can’t enunciate very well so he’s just kind of making passable sounds to the melody of each song... and he’s always coming up to me and saying “miss natalie!!” (except it sounds more like “mid nadadi!!”) and then a bunch more stuff that i can only half understand... so i just nod and go “that’s so interesting” or “you’re right, buddy” he’s the best lmao

y-chan!! omg she’s the best i love her... she’s a complete know it all and always copies the teachers so she is forever bossing other kids around lmaooo “line up please” “sit down please” “no thank you!!!” it’s so cute and funny. there’s also the fact that she loves to play big sister so whenever we have joint supervision with the younger class she loves playing with them and taking care of them and it’s adorable

ay-chan.... the light of my life.... so backstory she used to not talk at school. it started sometime last year and continued for the first 2.5 months of this school year. but gradually she came out of her shell and at first she was only talking in japanese at school but now she talks lots and lots in english and in japanese and i never doubted that she liked school or liked me or was enjoying her time but i’m just so happy that she’s reached a level of comfort where she can express herself to the fullest and like ugh i love her so much!!! 

sk-chan is a complete spazz and such a sweetheart and i love her.... she cannot focus on anything at all but anyway she has a heart of gold and she loves to talk and she picks up english phrases and has a lot of gusto... she is such a wonderful girl and always says “see you soon!” when someone leaves the classroom and “welcome back!” when someone returns and she is such a precious gift i love her

d-chan joined in may and is korean... she is so cute and weird and i love her... she barely knew any english before coming to our school but she tries her goddang best and is a really positive girl and talks to the other kids all the time like... often they talk to her in japanese and she responds in korean lol... but anyway she tries her best in everything and is quick to learn english and japanese and she’s just a weird lil girl i love her

l-kun.... is one of our problem children.... well he’s a normal boy but his parents are weird and so he acts weird a lot of the time.... but when he’s not being a lil shit he’s sweet and good. i know he can do anything because maybe 30% he does and he does it well, but usually he makes the choice to just not. but anyway, he behaves badly but i do love him lol. today he threw multiple tantrums but he also sat nicely every time i asked him to and when his parents picked him up he ran over to me three separate times to say bye and get a high five. he’s a handful but how can you not love him??

t-kun, our other problem child.... i love this boy from the bottom of my heart, truly, but he is always getting in trouble. he has no impulse control. and his impulses include biting, kicking, running down the hall, closing himself into the empty conference room, and sitting inside urinals. he’s a lot!!! but he is really cute and affectionate and playful. i’m determined to see t-kun grow up lots this year, and i want nothing more than to be proud of him and praise him! he does make it hard though lol! but i love him and i’ll never give up

rm-kun..... THE LOVE OF MY LIFE oh my goodness this boy is so funny and weird... i love him so much he’s really expressive and cute and kind... we have so many pictures of the kids where rm-kun specifically is making a crazy face or laughing out loud or grinning at his friends... god he’s a treasure he’s the best... i love the way he says “oh no” and “what are you doing????” my heart is so full when i think about him lmao

today i had a weird headache all day and was grumpy so when i took some ibuprofen and felt better in the afternoon, i felt like a million freaking bucks and was like, walking on sunshine when it came time to wake kids up from nap lol. i just felt like they could do no wrong lmao so the day ended on a much better note than it started. also i played with a few of my former students whom i love dearly which always cheers me up... i can’t wait for summer school when i-chan and m-chan are coming back!!! m-chan my weird punk problematic fave!! ahhhh

#personal #txt

[raccooncityaliens]

Ughighug it's soon 4am and I've been in bed for almost an hour, done every evening ritual I always do (+ better skincare) except that I stayed up and out of bed longer than usual Took my meds when I decided to start getting ready for sleep and everything And I'm not sleepy at all I mean yeah tired but like Strangely little tired Goddang I don't want to have an insomnia night nooooo

#should I take a pill or two #nghgeehh then I might sleep til late afternoon not good #personal #meds cw