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funnywormz · 1 year

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Well OK what kind of a person would I be if I didn't say 002 rimster for that ask game

LET'S FUCKING GOOOOO THANK U ANON

002 | Send me a ship and I will tell you...

when i started shipping them:

honestly very very recently lol. i can't remember exactly but i think abt 2-3 months ago? ik their dynamic was definitely entertaining to me from the start and there were moments that made me go like "👀" sometimes (bc im a gayass hopeless romantic so im always kinda subconsciously on the lookout for fun characters to ship ig lol), but i started getting genuinely rlly invested in the ship roughly when i watched dimension jump for the first time. something abt seeing rimmer get so jealous and catty abt lister and ace i suppose.......... hehe

my thoughts

i mean obviously i think they're great lol. i am nuts abt them. they're both such fun characters and their dynamic together is just wonderful and iconic and hilarious. even platonically they're just like...... a duo to me. ik all of the dwarfers are a set (Do Not Separate Them) but lister and rimmer especially just go together. it doesn't feel right to talk abt one without mentioning the other. they're just lister and rimmer yknow......... regardless of whether they're friends or lovers i just love them together and love it when they interact

what makes me happy about them

SO MANY THINGS....... the ship does bring a lot of comfort to me bc despite their arguments and the insults that get thrown around they do really care abt each other and it becomes pretty obvious in later seasons. the opposites attract/sun and moon thing they have going on is so endearing to me as well.......... i get so much serotonin from the little moments of honest affection they have for each other in the show.

i think they can be a source of comfort for each other as well, not always in an obvious way but they just keep each other grounded, they're each a reassuring constant in the other's life yknow? also they're both very relatable to me in their own different ways so i would be lying if i said there wasn't an aspect of projection in it as well lol

what makes me sad about them:

the answer to this one is also Many Things......... sometimes they are genuinely just Mean to each other and it makes me a bit sad. and just. lister's childhood and his loneliness and depression and likewise rimmer's childhood and self hatred...... idk they're just both very saddening guys at times, im not even gonna lie. i wish that they'd both allow themselves to be more vulnerable with each other and more open abt their feelings sometimes but ik there are plenty of reasons why that's hard for them. ig it's more their characters separately that make me sad mostly rather than their relationship with each other though, if that makes sense

things done in fanfic that annoy me:

this is a rlly specific personal pet peeve but i kinda dislike it when ppl rlly exaggerate lister's accent in fic. like when they write his speech out as "rimmah" instead of "rimmer" and that sort of thing lol. it's fine in small amounts or if it's a purely comedic fic but if im reading a more emotionally poignant (or sexy) fic and the author has changed the spelling of every second word lister says i just have to exit outta there sorry. for me i feel like since we all know what he sounds like then trying to write out his pronunciation that way just seems awkward and silly. this is by no means an objective thing just personal preference.

it's also a pet peeve of mine when lister gets kinda sidelined or his characterisation gets messed around with in favour of the author basically using him as a self insert bc they're horny for rimmer. it doesn't come up often but when it does it annoys me......... ik rimmer is everyone's special little boy but i love lister too and i don't like to see him get ignored or undervalued like that

things i look for in fanfic:

honestly just an interesting premise really! basically the stuff i look for in any literature, like strong characterisation, a fun plot etc...........

my wishlist:

idk exactly what this one entails? if it means stuff i wish i could see in the show, ig i'd just like to see more sweet genuine moments between them (like the moonlight scene). idk if i would actually want there to be a canon romantic relationship between them, like yeah i ship them so much but ig i just wouldn't want it to be forced or executed weirdly. basically i just want to see more of them exactly as they are now, except maybe they should be nicer to each other sometimes. OH ALSO i need to see deb and arlene again so fucking bad

who i'd be comfortable with them ending up with, if not each other:

this one is tough bc there honestly aren't many romantic prospects for either of them lol. i def wouldn't be comfortable with a romantic relationship between either of them and any of the other dwarfers, just personal taste. i personally view rimmer as a closeted confused gay man so i wouldn't be that comfy seeing him with a female character either so that rules out pretty much everyone for him haha.........

for lister, although i love kochanski and his friendship with her, i don't like the idea of them being "endgame" bc it would feel forced at this point and just...... uncomfortable. honestly i can't imagine feeling comfortable with any other relationships for rimmer/lister being canon lol. i just prefer the idea of them both being single in canon i suppose, sorry lads. it's funny bc in most fandoms im a chronic multishipper but with red dwarf im kinda like rimster or die basically lmao 🤷‍♂️

my happily ever after for them:

basically just the same as they are now but married and in love LOL.

also they need to finally get a proper bed to sleep in together and get out of those goddamn bunks, 1) because i want them to cuddle and 2) lister is in his 50s now and those bunks can't be very comfortable or ergonomic, i am worried abt the state of his back lol. it's not much, ig in the end i just want them to stay together and be happy together. since there seems to be technology that exists to sustain multiple holograms that they've found on other ships, maybe once lister finally dies they could be holograms together and travel the stars together forever....... or maybe the opposite would happen and rimmer would shut himself off so they can just be at peace together. ough sorry this got sad im getting emotional

anyways tldr i just want them to stay exactly the same but openly in gay love and also sharing a proper actual bed. that's it

#TYSM FOR THIS ASK IT WAS SO FUN TO DO THIS HEHEHEHE #ask game #rimster

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tsui-no-sora · 2 years

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yes i can and will call you out out, im stealing the revive book i am singlehandedly reviving cringe culture /j

i mean. cdream is a caffeine addict, it's basically canon if you ask me, i am now having a very vivid image of cdream sat in a heap of books and note papers drinking coffee straight from the pot as punz anxiously hovers at the edge of said pile, clutching a bag of steadily cooling McPuffNuggets.

yeah the odds for a full 100% happy ending for cfiances are Slim, especially since they're all at uh. very different lore wrap up stages. the lnv finale is very likely going to be the end of quackity's character. the odds for cdream dying or /p dreamnap somehow reconciling in that stream are even lower than the fiances wedding so it's definitely not gonna be the narrative end for sapnap. and im not even touching ckarl with a ten feet pole. i saw the ghost post btw, i am very much hoping that ccq isn't just gonna kill his character off entirely. atleast he's gonna wrap his story up, which is something which i've only heard a few ccs talk about. rip cranboo i guess. literally.

honestly, if we're looking at the scene from a doylist perspective the most likely interpretation is proabably just that ccsapnap wasn't prepared to rp a mental flip on his fiance And his murderhobo bestie. in character he probably he just filed it away for later when he wasn't actively preparing to fight dream.

don't worry finn, we all have our c!diskduo demons hidden away in the tumblr drafts. mine probably are the polar opposite of yours but the point still stands.

i mean you don't have to agree obviously, but i think inconsolable established firmly that wilbur had no fucking clue that dream had gotten out of prison. even if you consider the possibility of him lying to tommy, the fantasy sequence made it pretty clear that he still expected dream to be locked inside the prison. so it's either train talk or prison visit. i still haven't gotten around to rewatching that scene, i'll let you know what i think once i do.

csam has to make the ultimate decision between stopping the collapse of las nevadas and bringing cdream a bacon and cheese sandwich as quackity watches in despair. take a guess what he chooses. i wonder if csam has any plans to end his character.

i mean especially cdteam is also a complicated, tangled and angry mess, but yeah q and sam had care but also this very business like and scary.y vibe to them. i would genuinely kill to see a confrontation between them during that stream now that both underwent very drastic changes in mentality (for the worse or for the bettter.

im genuinely trying to keep my expectations low and simple, even though i fear that the first is probably a disservice to ccquackity's work and i literally cant help the second.

I'm not depressed" TikTok audio which I mean pretty fitting for them

I really wonder if that's actually going to be the ending of the character I have the feeling like the most lore based ccs are trying to wrap up their lore already which I don't know if it's in preparation for the second season because Foolish did say he was getting near his last streams for the first season but he called it that directly implying that whatever the world altering event is will lead to the second season and well Wilbur had said that while the lore will be done with his character he would still be around so maybe Quackity will still be around just with less serious lore which a ghost character could work pretty well for that

C!Ranboo is so dead he's just so dead but I really wanted to know what his deal with c!Dream was c'mon at least tell me that man

I really am so confused on what direction the dsmp is going to go

Yeah that's probably pretty true but now I don't know when to really chuck things up to eh it's just the streamers improving because not everything is that serious because after seeing how specific their scripts got at points during the tribute video I think I may have severly underestimated that point in the past

The latest one I had was like a 5 page essay on c!Dream c!Tommy and obsession that I was so close to posting but that I held back on because maybe society just isn't ready for it just yet and the other one was c!Dream c!Ranboo c!Tommy and The Plan that was pretty much just me crying because c!Tommy c!Ranboo friendship matters to me but so does c!Endersmile

So yeah I bet they are complete opposites on almost every regard to ironically I feel like we agree the most on c!Tommy himself

I guess I didn't see it as what he was expecting the most just as what he was one more used to and what made more sense because well in a real setting if c!Dream wanted to kill c!Wilbur it wouldn't really be a difficult task for him to do so therefore what made more sense in my brain is yeah his fantasy takes place here because it's the only possible place it could occur in c!Wilbur killing c!Dream like that and c!Quackity and c!Sam torturing him like that are things that could only happen there makes it all the more imperative that he stays there

But on that case train talk it's what makes more sense because c!Sam didn't really let other people visit c!Dream c!Sapnap did say that getting past him for any visit at all was incredibly difficult so I don't think he would have left c!Wilbur in

Honestly if that did happen in lore I would just be cheering on for c!Dream getting his cool moment of revenge I think he's earned it by now and I don't think he does whenever he brings up c!Sam or any of his other dsmp oriented proyects it's only to talk about what more things he wants to do to my knowledge he hasn't really spoken ever about putting an end to the server or to any of his characters and I don't really think he wants to he seems to have a lot of fun in it and he's part of the members who have been on it the longest after all

C!Dteam are everything to me and also have so many issues that I just don't know how their happy ending could go but I'm still holding onto for hope okay

C!Sam and c!Quackity confrontation just really calls to me because look at all the awful things they did together they both know the other is capable on some pretty inhumane things a business relationship like that is dangerous and seeing how different they are now than when they first met it would just be cool to hear them talk about it

#ghost tag #the comeback of the essayssss #this just made me miss lore so bad just now #beloved's asks

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twdmusicboxmystery · 2 years

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This is pretty tragic, but do you think Find Me is like the 'alt-version' of Alone? As in this is how they would have ended up if they had stayed at the funeral home - either glaring at each other across the table, or (worse) D. would have died & left Beth alone? Just like M, in 9.13 where she joins the Saviors. So that's why we see D. shooting them the same way.?

Naw. I don't think it's quite as dark as that. They have titles like What We Become because it's trying to show, symbolically, what might happen to the characters if they make different, darker choices.

While Leah most definitely has ties to both Carol and Beth, she also symbolizes the feral side of Daryl. If he went totally feral and left civilization altogether, which he's done for a few stretches here and there, he would probably end up murderous, just like Leah.

So, there are many levels to the Leah storyline. Many things they tried to accomplish with it. But the biggest thing, imho, was Daryl symbolically "killing" the feral side of himself forever. He's accepted his place, his family, etc., and he won't go back to being that person again.

I also think it has to do with his state of mind. It's almost like a dark play on that saying that if you want to find something, stop looking for it. That's why Rachael (of FRIENDS) stopped looking for Russell Crowe. Daryl almost had to stop endlessly searching for Rick and Beth before they were going to come back to him.

And actually, this is something TD said a lot in the first few seasons after Grady. In S6-S8, when Daryl was being largely silent and depressed, we always thought he needed to mourn and return to a place of positivity before he was "worthy," if you will, for Beth to return.

Now, this return to positivity began when Carol came and asked him to go watch over Henry at Hilltop. Daryl returned to civilization and his family, and for the first time in a long time was in a better state of mind. At that point, Leah had already happened, but the audience didn't know it yet. They didn't tell us until later in flashback.

But it still had to really come full circle and end with him killing her and putting that part of his life to rest for good.

And actually, we see this in the soulmate couples template. It wasn't just a matter of Rick breaking up with Jessie so he could be with Michonne. Jessie had to die. Tobin also died before Carol fully committed to her relationship with Zeke. And even Ron died before Carl and Enid kissed.

So yeah. Just part of the template. I don't think it says anything at all about Beth and Daryl's relationship, unless it's that the opposite will be true of it than was true of Daryl and Leah.

Didn't mean to go on so long. Hope that helps. Xoxo! ☀️🔥❣️

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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kinetic-elaboration · 9 months

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August 16: AHS 5x02 Chutes and Ladders

Went grocery shopping today and then watched AHS. These episodes are so long. They are too long. I mean, I know that AHS tends long in general and that's, like, fine, it's part of it, but this ep was 71 MINUTES without commercials. 71!! That's a very short movie.

And it's not just long, it's self-indulgently long. Like, I know we all sometimes feel when watching certain shows that it's really a shame they probably had to cut so much and hurry it along and blah those TV studios or whatever right? But honestly more often that not, now that I've seen a sufficient number of Netflix and streaming shows that don't have set episode lengths, I've come to the conclusion that at least 80% of the time the creators benefit from the enforced time limits. Sometimes having variable episode lengths, including longer ones, is nice and it allows for some creative episodes or some extra content but usually to me it just feels like... bloated and indulgent. Like the creators weren't asked to cut and so they didn't and so they never made any choices about anything and it's just all out there, a mess.

Anyway, this is both OT and sounds much harsher than my feelings. And is hypocritical because I never cut jack but like I also don't write ~ professionally ~. I write in the Self Indulgence genre.

But the point is that this episode of AHS was so.... unnecessarily and self-importantly long. It did not have to be that long. It was not 71 minutes of information long. It was just that every scene needed to show off the scenery, the costumes, and the dialogue had to be slow and measured and etc. etc. etc.

This season is obviously very stylish, as I mentioned before, and I admire that. Lots of fancy gowns for Lady Gaga. Lots of Art Deco rooms. A whole weird white room that reminds me of an episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark? I like the look of it but I don't need so many scenes devoted to letting me look at the scenery.

And the content is like... fine. There are some characters I like (Liz! Liz! Liz!) and some story lines. Some of it just isn't for me, isn't for my taste. I don't think the Detective character is interesting. I don't think he's interesting after the twist. I don't really care about his kids either. I think the Countess and her vampires are okay but to me they're mostly style. I also don't really like vampires generally, as I also mentioned before--obviously they can be done well but they're not my favorite creatures.

I liked the model a lot, at least as a model just fucking around on the runway (what would Tyra say?) though he got less interesting after he turned and we entered Vampire Lore time. It was fun watching him and Original Vampire Lover interact especially since I'm also watching Freak Show and of course, the same actors playing very different roles opposite each other also appear in that. It's definitely enjoyable watching the repertory style cast over the seasons.

I really dislike serial killers and that this season makes me put up with TWO is just... infuriating. I just am not amused or impressed by sadism. I'm not! I'm not and I don't care. The whole Style of the Evan Peters Character backstory is very nice, stylish, of course, but then what's the big scary reveal? He's a bored rich baby who likes to kill people. Ah, yes, how unique and unexpected of him. Torture porn torture porn torture porn. I started zoning out when it was literally just depressing to me. And it's frustrating because, like, the concept of the hotel as a built-evil place with hidden rooms for evil purposes IS interesting. There IS something there. I just wasn't impressed with how it is actually played out or developed.

I did like Chloe Sevigny ranting about anti-vaxxers. She's right and she should say it! In every episode!

But yeah, overall, just... too long. I'm sure it's supposed to be lush and beautiful and disturbing and just the sort of thing you sink into and enjoy like a bubble bath but with blood and sex but like... I'm just not sufficiently into it and I'm a little annoyed that I'm being asked to put so much time into something that could be so much more efficient and compact.

#the year 2023 #2023: fandom thoughts #2023: ahs

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stellocchia · 3 years

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This is part 6 of the Comprehensive Analysis of c!Tommy and c!Dream’s relationship during the Exile Arc

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5

Here we go again. So, just to clarify: I honestly think that for the Mexican Dream stream almost only the parts where Dream is Dream and not Mamacita are canon, but I will check those other ones out as well for anything interesting. Drista’s stream however is like as vaguely canon as possible, so I will mostly give a general outline of it more so then analizing it bit by bit.

That said, a reminder that from here on out I will be only talking about the characters unless stated otherwise and that we will be talking about sensitive topics, so keep that in mind.

First stream we will be looking at is the infamous Mexican Dream stream: Tommy Speaks to Mexican Dream in Exile

Once again Tommy wakes up drowning, again just slightly further away from the coast in the opposite direction from L’Manburg. He also immediately takes off his armour.

“Wait, no, we don’t have enough friends to afford being angry at people” (by now even Tommy himself doesn’t value much his own feelings)

“So at the end of our last Dream smp stream, uh, we died [non canonically], but it’s okay because I got some of our things-” *Dream joins the game* *distressed noises* (I’m never not gonna point out Tommy’s reactions at Dream appearing)

Dream appears and immediately digs the hole for the armour. Tommy immediately gives it up actually apologizing for not doing it even before. Also right after this Dream investigates on wether or not someone visited Tommy while he was gone and he finds out about Ranboo.

“I’ve just been trying to keep you company” “Yeah, yeah, no, it’s been pretty nice” “We’ve became better friends” “Yeah, yeah, we have” (Dream and his ‘friendship’ agenda)

This is when they meet Mexican Dream who was just outside Tommy’s Nether portal. An interesting thing I want to point out is Dream immediately moving directly in front of Tommy when he notices him (probably got used by now to assuming a defensive position).

“We’ll make this place like home man...” (MD already making everything better)

“What did you [Dream] do to him man?” “No but he is my friend now, apparently- I think. You are my-?” (immediately starts questioning things with MD presence there challenging Dream’s)

“I’m your new friend man” “Oh, do you need me to put my items in a pit for you?” (...) “This is what Dream always makes me do, is this right?” (looking once again at Dream for approval in the last bit)

“Hey, wait, so now that you’re here do I even need to follow this man?” (talking about Dream here)

“Okay, wait, how do I know that this isn’t a Dream? Because I keep having Dream’s and shit. I’m like a hallucinator” (so we can add recurrent hallucinations to his ever increasing list of symptoms)

"Even though he may be naked and homeless- are you homeless? Do you need a home?” “I’m homeless man” (And this is why MD was a problem to Dream, he was more then willing to stay with Tommy)

“Oh no that guy [a squid] has committed suicide just at the sound of it! Oh that’s... I envy him” (he is now openly suicidal)

“I don’t like Mexican Dream, Mexican Dream is weird” (sure it’s not just because he admitted to wanting to move to Logstedshire permanently there Dream?)

“Alright, Thomas, come over here, come over here” *Dream starts following as well* “NO! NO! You stay the fuck away!” (this is why we love MD)

“You know actually, he is sort of actually borderline my owner” (I hate that there was a time were both Tommy and Dream thought this)

After this Dream swaps for Mamacita, so I’m really not sure how canon things are here... there is a scene where MD comforts Tommy while he’s looking at pictures of Tubbo and then Mamacita destroys all but one of them.

“I really miss my family man” “Oh I miss my- I miss my family too” (would his family be Tubbo for Tommy?)

Dream does swap back to being Dream for the last 25 minutes. And he proceeds to immediately takes one of MD’s lives. It’s technically his second life because the first one was from a creeper exploding.

“No no shoot me not them, [the pictures of MD’s friends(?)] actually shoot them. I definitely don’t have my confidence back” (Dream immediately setting him back on his progress)

Right after the kill Tommy asks if he can bodyguard Dream in hopes of keeping him and MD from fighting so that MD would be safe. It doesn’t work. Also pretty sure that Dream canonically decapitated somebody.

“Mexican Dream, I-I’ve had enough of you” (Dream immediately ging back to be terrifying right there)

Dream then takes MD’s third canon life. Of course, in true Dream style, he immediately ignores all the distress Tommy is in and moves on like nothing happened.

“You just killed my last friend” (I hate that he’s not even angry)

“So Dream, do I not have any friends left?” “What do you mean ‘you don’t have any friends left’? You have me!” (Dream is the only friend that Dream is willing to allow Tommy to have)

Also I want to point out how Dream keeps ignoring any and all accusations of having killed MD, despite having done so right in front of Tommy. And then he proceeds to try and convince Tommy that he died of a drug overdose (which is just yet another example of gaslighting there from Dream). He then proceeds to make Tommy burn his remains, despite Tommy opposing this quite a bit.

“I know I haven’t really delved into my health with you ever, because I know you don’t really care, but I don’t think I have really long left” (at least he is somewhat aware about Dream not caring)

“I thought maybe we could have someone move in with us today, no. No He doesn’t allow that. Which is fine! Which is fine because, you know, it’s his- his uh- his rules now”

Once again I want to point out that this truly is just a glorified kidnapping. Tommy not only is confined to a very small area and not allowed to keep many items, he also doesn’t get to have anyone move in his area. Dream doesn’t want him to have any company that isn’t him, going as far as to literally kill someone to insure it (not too different from what he was planning to do in the season 2 finale). Either way the stream ends on a very pessimistic note about Tommy not having the will to go on for much longer at this point.

Now let’s move on to the Drista stream: TommyInnit Speaks To Dream's Sister AGAIN

As I said I’ll just give a general outline for this one since it’s honestly barely canon as is, so here we go:

Tommy doesn’t start off drowning this time. Drista arrives and starts immediately being chaotic as usual. They mess around for a while in the Nether, start building a tower (Dream at one point tries to convince Drista that it was Tommy to have killed MD), get bored and mess around some more. Also Drista gives Tommy a bedrock block and writes “Drista” out of bedrock near Logstedshire. Then Drista convinces Dream to let them go back to the main Smp for a while (though we do see Punz trying to kill him for breaking the rules before finding out Dream had given his permission). Once in Dream Smp they meet up with Quackity for a little bit.

Also, Tommy, king of always being in character, constantly asks very uncertainly: “Are you sure that I’m allowed here? This feels wrong...”

They then spawn in a bunch of dogs and wonder around in the smp. After a while Techno gets added to the call and Tubbo starts kinda following them around (though Tommy thinks he has a hallucination). I honestly don’t think any of this is canon. Anyway after a while Techno gets a bedrock block as well and he almost manages to give a stolen Pigstep to Tommy, but it gets intercepted. After a while their time is up and he has to go back by Dream’s order.

“If you don’t see me again in this, you know, in this shape, I’m sorry. (...) Yeah, in this alive form on this server... you might see me you knoa a bit- a bit- I don’t know... maybe a bit ghostly” (foreshadowing to his death that never actually happened during the Exile Arc thankfully)

The stream ends with a promise from Dream that he’ll be there the day after.

Moving on to the last one for today, we have Quackity’s visit: Quackity Visits TommyInnit in Exile

So, Quackity decides to go visit Tommy to try (and miserably failing) to lift his mood by giving him gifts supposedly from everyone in L’Manburg (which are pictures).

“I’ve got no reason to live” (and we start off immediately in the most depressing way possible)

Also, while we’re talking about this stream I have to point out that Tommy has a lot of self-harming behaviours, mostly drowning himself and shooting himself with arrows. Which is rather worrying to say the least.

“Big Q I have very little will to live right now” (again he's very open about his suicidal thoughts by now)

“Forget about Tubbo! Listen, listen Tommy, there are so many things you can turn to when you’re depressed, alright?” “I’m not depressed... I’ve got Dream, I’ve got Dream, I’ve got Dream” “Dream?! (...) Who escorted you out of L’Manburg? Who escorted you out of L’Manburg? Who gave you 30 minutes to go to L’manburg? [In the Drista visit]” “I want Dream”

This is Quackity trying albeit clumsily, to break Tommy out of Dream’s conditioning, though by this point it was far too ingrained for anything to be effective. Also we can see Tommy asking for Dream when he is distressed, which is something that keeps happening during the Bedrock Boys Arc as well.

After a little bit they decide to build a church and a “gambling place”. Techno also joins them after a while. (Also, according to Quackity, c!Dream is canonically racist for killing MD, do with that what you will). Also why does Quackity have a flight or flirt instinct with Techno?

Tommy, sarcastically: “I’m fine, I’m okay, it’s not like I have canonical depression”. That is a fair objection in any and all conversations.

The stream end a while later with nothing else of note. It is very funny though, so do give it a watch if you feel like it.

#tommyinnit #dreamwastaken #quackity #dream smp #exile arc #tw abuse #tw self harm #tw suicidal thoughts #long post #my post #relationship analysis #character analysis #this is basically the lightest post in the exile arc series #mostly because they all have questionable canonicity #though we do know now that md was entirely canon #so there's that #anyway next one will be the last one and then I'm free #also md says 'man' as frequently as dream says 'tommy'#I don't know what to do with that information

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skyblue-ringpops · 3 years

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A Deep Dive Into Blaine Anderson

I wrote a six page essay analyzing Blaine Anderson.

Click to read it, I would really appreciate if you did. Keep in mind - it’s long.

I hope you enjoy, and feel free to share your thoughts!

Warning: There will be discussion of neglect, abuse, homophobia, suicide, self harm, eating disorders, and sexual assault.

When we were first introduced to Blaine Anderson, he was made out to seem like Kurt’s mentor, very confident and open to being himself. It wasn’t long before he changed, and many would say that change was for the worse. As many people say, he became whiny, clingy, and, according to many of his critics, annoying. However, it isn’t hard to see that Blaine was struggling mentally, and these issues were never explored further. This essay will not only determine what he was going through, but explain possible causes and effects.

We first meet Blaine at Dalton Academy, confident, accepting of himself, someone for Kurt to look up to and be guided by. But why does he suddenly change after season two? He isn’t being himself at Dalton, he’s being the way he’s expected to be. The Warblers all seem to have a similar presence that captures the spirit of the academy - formal, wise, confident. That fits the personality of season two Blaine. Why is he acting this way, though? There’s a few possibilities. One, he’s trying to fit in. Everyone else in the academy acts that way, and Blaine doesn’t want to stand out, he wants to fit in, something he wasn’t able to do at his old school. Two, he could have a mentor at the academy that he’s trying to act more like. Blaine is the head Warbler, but he isn’t the authority in the group. That role would likely belong to Wes or David, one of the members of the council. It’s possible that Blaine admired them or was inspired in some way, and tried replicating their behavior. Three, he could have been ashamed of his actual personality or feared nobody would like his true self, and tried hiding it either to fit in, as I said before, or to make Kurt like him. I personally don’t think this is the case since he took off his mask once arriving at McKinley. I think he was likely trying to fit the image of the academy, hoping it would prevent the bullying he faced at his old school. Although Dalton had a zero tolerance policy, he likely faced some trauma, and a simple policy wouldn’t be enough for him.

So, what happened at his old school? Blaine said that he and his openly gay friend were jumped at a Sadie Hawkins dance at their school, leading Blaine to transfer to Dalton. This affected him quite a bit, and it was shown multiple times. While at the prom with Kurt, Blaine seems protective of him at times and isn’t too sure they’ll be safe. The chance of this being his first dance since the Sadie Hawkins is very high, it’s no surprise that he’d be afraid, especially knowing that Kurt had been bullied in the past. After Tina very awkwardly asks Blaine to the Sadie Hawkins dance and gets rejected, she apologizes, thinking he said no because of his past experience. We know he said no because of his crush on Sam, however, I don’t believe that’s the only reason. He knew Sam wouldn’t feel the same way, and he knew Tina would have been willing to go as friends. Even if it wasn’t the main reason for him rejecting her, his trauma likely played a role in it.

alton Academy was a place of refuge for Blaine. He went there after the bullying, he made friends, he met Kurt, the Warblers were probably the closest thing he had to a family, he almost went back after his very hard breakup in season four. It wouldn’t be hard to believe that Dalton saved his life, which I’ll get more into later. When the academy burns down in season six, it’s clear that he was very affected by it. He’s brought into the auditorium clearly upset, crying, quiet. When explaining what happened, he seems distant, sort of zoned out. Chances are, he watched the academy burn - many agree it is a boarding school so even if it wasn’t during the school day, it’s very likely he was there. But the fire probably happened during the day, it makes sense since there would be something that could have caused it. Even if he didn’t witness the academy burn, he would have seen the results of the fire, even if it was just in pictures. The academy was clearly important to every student, they did what they could to respect it. Blaine has an extra reason to hold it so close, That would almost definitely add to his trauma, especially since it was a place that meant so much to him.

The Warblers were the closest thing Blaine had to a family. What about his parents, what about Cooper? We met Cooper and Pam, and his father was mentioned. However, in a deleted scene, it is confirmed that Blaine’s parents weren’t present in his life, they were too busy with work. Cooper and Blaine didn’t have much of a relationship, due to their age difference. Blaine’s father and Cooper aren’t even at the wedding, although it wasn’t originally his. There was a deleted explanation for Cooper’s absence, he had a callback for an audition. The only explanation for his father’s absence was also deleted - an implication that his parents got a divorce. It’s hard to say the effect this would have on Blaine, it was deleted so we never saw his reaction, and we don’t know if it even affected him much due to their absence. Also, it’s more than likely that Blaine raises himself. In flashbacks, it’s shown that he didn’t have the best childhood. We see Cooper teasing him and not letting him play, and we see him play Operation by himself. Chances are, he raised himself. He probably had nobody to raise him, no role models. We know Blaine didn’t have the best relationship with Cooper, we saw in the episode Big Brother that, although they seemed to make up at the end, Cooper never really supported Blaine and constantly criticized him, and Blaine seemed jealous of the attention Cooper received. These problems have probably always existed, and could even be traced back to their parents, if Cooper got more attention or praise. Their parents were absent for most of Blaine’s childhood, but due to the age difference, we can’t definitively say the same for Cooper. As for their father, he isn’t talked about much, but Blaine does tell Burt that his father used to fix cars with him in an effort to turn him straight. Now, this is only based on what Blaine says, it’s possible that he just assumed this and his father’s intention was simply spending time with his son. However, even if that is the case, there has to be some reason for Blaine to assume this. Whether his father made homophobic comments in the past, reacted badly to Blaine coming out, or explicitly said he had an issue with Blaine’s sexuality and/or wanted to “fix him”, or if his father never actually did anything, and he assumed the worst because of something done by someone else, there has to be some reason for him to think this. His mother does seem to be the better parent, at least she shows up once and he doesn’t have anything bad to say about her. But that doesn’t mean she was all good, and just observing her behaviors at the wedding shows this. First of all, she’s shown dancing with Puck, which must be weird for Blaine. Imagine seeing your recently divorced (although I’m not sure if we can consider the divorce canon since it was deleted, making this situation even worse) dancing with one of your classmates, who’s only a year older than you. This next point isn’t canon, it’s more of a possible scenario. His mother seems to be acting drunk at the wedding, and is one of the only ones to appear that way. Again, not confirmed. But if that is the case, imagine this scenario - Blaine’s mother hardly being present, and drinking when she is. First of all, this would make it much harder for the two to bond, since she probably wouldn’t be focused as much on him. Second, there isn’t much she would be able to do for him, so he wouldn’t have a responsible adult around if he needed one. And third - again, this is entirely speculation - it could potentially have a negative influence on him. While it definitely doesn’t seem Blaine has a dependence on alcohol (it actually seems to be more of the opposite, since he’s apparently drunk after one beer in The First Time), it could have a negative influence on his coping mechanisms, shown when he and Dave Karofsky are explaining their relationship to Kurt, saying they met at Scandals. This may not seem like an issue, but remember, during season six, Blaine was too depressed to do much of anything, to the point of getting kicked out of NYADA, but still chose to hang out in a bar.

Speaking of his relationship with Karofsky, almost everyone agrees that he shouldn’t have dated his ex’s former tormentor, and many criticize him for that. But what was his reason for choosing to date him? There are a few possibilities. First, he could have actually had feelings for him, which I doubt. It isn’t impossible, but he clearly wasn’t over Kurt, and he knew how Karofsky used to treat him, although he changed. It is possible that Blaine was just taking whatever he could get, like after the season four breakup when he was finally able to move on due to a crush on Sam, likely developed out of loneliness. Also, his feelings for Dave quickly disappear when he realizes he has a chance to get Kurt back. Another possibility is that he chose to date Dave to upset Kurt, out of spite possibly, but Blaine doesn’t seem like the type to intentionally hurt someone he loves. He usually tries to take on the role of a protector, so why would he try to hurt Kurt, even if he was upset with him, especially knowing what Dave did in the past? The third reason, which seems the most probable to me, is that Blaine dated Dave because he was seeking pain or abuse. There’s a few reasons why he could have done this. One, it isn’t uncommon for survivors of abuse, which with his father, Blaine might be, to seek out more pain after their abuser has stopped. It’s possible that, if his father was abusive, he did stop sometime around season 6, since Blaine likely doesn’t live at home anymore and if his parents did divorce around this time, he may not see his father anymore. Two, it could have been a form of punishment. If he blamed himself for the breakup, he may think he deserves pain for hurting Kurt. He also could have been seeking pain in order to feel something. He was extremely depressed after the breakup and likely felt numb, and in his mind, pain would be better than that. Finally, he could have been with Dave thinking he couldn’t do any better or didn’t deserve any better. This could be a result of the breakup or his previous insecurities shown in season 5.

Now, let’s take a closer look at his insecurities. Insecurity is something that has been covered quite a bit on the show, but is typically done poorly. In Blaine’s case, his insecurity makes him jealous and many criticize him for that. When Kurt begins a more healthy lifestyle and gets in better shape, rather than being happy for him, Blaine becomes jealous, tries to reverse his progress, and turns to the internet because he doesn’t feel comfortable around Kurt. There are some suggestions that Blaine may be going through something many characters in the show face - the eating disorder that only lasts one episode. There are many implications that he may be binge eating at the beginning of the episode, and even after deciding he wants to get into shape, continues consuming a large amount of calories, seemingly using it as a coping mechanism. However, this issue was completely overlooked, just like many others throughout the show. He also says to Kurt, “One day, you’re gonna wake up and realize that ‘I don’t love him anymore.’” He has the belief throughout the episode that Kurt is better than him, and could do better. However, this isn’t the first time he has a mindset like this. When Kurt texts Chandler, Blaine accuses him of cheating despite doing something similar with Sebastian and seeing no issue with it. When Kurt graduates, Blaine worries that the long-distance relationship won’t work for them, he worries that Kurt will leave him. When Blaine meets Elliot, he confronts him for trying to steal Kurt from him, despite both of them assuring him they are just friends. Kurt hasn’t done anything to make Blaine believe he isn’t loyal or wants to leave him. It seems that Blaine has abandonment issues, which could be traced back to his parents’ absence. This would also explain his clinginess and dependence on Kurt. Even when Kurt isn’t around, he always seems to have one person he latches onto. For example, in seasons four and five, he’s hardly seen without Sam, and even in season six, when he seems to go everywhere with Dave and moves in with him very quickly, and the only times he is without them are usually when he is with Kurt.

Blaine’s anxiety is shown in more ways than just his abandonment issues and clinginess. For example, when Blaine is reconsidering his choice to audition for NYADA and instead claims he wants to be a doctor despite having no prior interest, he is avoiding a cause of worry, a common symptom of anxiety. He also shows signs of an anxiety attack during the shooting. He’s shown sitting quietly, crying, and hugging his knees. He’s okay at first, but later panics after being shushed. He most likely thinks everyone is mad at him for making noise, and fears that if anything happens to them, he will be blamed. When Ryder calls “Katie” and the phone rings, everyone tells him to turn it off except for Blaine, who can be seen mouthing “Turn it off please” but doesn’t make a sound, likely because he’s too scared to speak. He doesn’t move and is the only one to not touch anyone during the lockdown. Even when Sam is trying to leave, Blaine doesn’t help, just covers his ears and tries to block it out. This could be signs of PTSD. Throughout the experience, he seems almost childlike, for example, curling up, audibly sobbing, clinging to Sam, and being the only person to call his parents and greeting his mother with “hey mommy”.

Along with his anxiety, Blaine is shown to have severe depression, which is especially notable during seasons four and six, but likely existed even before his transfer to Dalton. He talks about being unable to sleep and eat after he and Kurt broke up in season six, and was even kicked out of NYADA due to his lack of motivation. He nearly transfers back to Dalton after the season four breakup, a place of refuge for him, because everything at McKinley reminds him of Kurt and he can’t handle it. He even shows signs of being suicidal in seasons three and four. Season four has less to discuss, he says a few things that suggest he either is or is becoming suicidal, showing signs of severe depression and acting as if he has nothing left. In season three, though, there is more to look into, and if you aren’t paying close attention, it’s easy to miss. Both examples are from the episode On My Way. The theme for regionals is inspirational, and Blaine chooses to sing the song Cough Syrup. The song is viewed as a cry for help from the band when they were first starting out and unsure what to do. However, the song is not about suicide. It’s about the difficult decision to stray from the norm and do your own thing, or do what is expected of you. In fact, upon viewing the episode, the band said they never thought of the song in that way. However, many listeners do think of the song as being about suicide, and we don’t know what Blaine’s interpretation was. Later in the episode, the club discusses suicide. Everyone makes eye contact, and when they say what they are looking forward to, everyone laughs and smiles. However, Blaine doesn’t. Rather than looking at everyone else, he looks down, rubbing his wrists, suggesting possible self harm or suicidal ideation. He looks sad throughout the discussion, and his only smile, towards the end of the discussion, looks very forced and his eyes still look sad. Due to his past, it wouldn’t be hard to believe he had thoughts of suicide at some point, whether before Dalton, or during seasons three, four, and/or six.

My final point will be discussing this article. The article points out some inconsistencies about Blaine and sex, from his open discussion with Burt, casually bringing up masturbation, his sometimes sexual song choices, the car scene after he and Kurt go to Scandals, and his talk about sexy faces, to his argument with Sam when he says he’s “not for sale”. He shows no discomfort most of the time, until one suggestion makes him become angry and defensive. His character did go through quite a bit of changes, which could be an explanation for his inconsistencies, mixed with Glee’s notoriously bad writing, but there is another way to look at it: some kind of sexual trauma during his childhood. The ability to have a mature discussion about it can be explained by his exposure to it at a young age if this is the case, since, depending on his age, he would probably need an explanation and a discussion with adults, possibly strangers, if he came forward about his experience. He could, depending on the trauma, view sex as a way to gain approval. And if his dad actually is homophobic, this could be directly linked with Blaine’s experience, with his father possibly believing his sexuality is a result of the trauma. The presentation of his trauma could differentiate every day, being perfectly fine with talking about it one day and not wanting to the next. This could also provide a bit more of an explanation for the car scene during The First Time, if Blaine’s experience happened at a young age and that was his first exposure to and therefore the foundation of his understanding of sex, Blaine may not realize when he goes too far. We know that, whether this theory is true or not, Blaine experienced sexual assault when Tina “vaporaped” him. He doesn’t seem too bothered by her, and she even becomes one of his best friends after it happened. However, the response to trauma I discussed earlier seems to be present. Sam brings up the event later on, meaning he knows about it, and since the chances of Tina or Kurt (the only other ones who know) telling him aren’t high (Tina because she wouldn’t want to admit to it, unless she slipped up like she did with Kurt, and Kurt because he wouldn’t want to reveal Blaine’s trauma), and the fact that Sam brought it up in front of Blaine, shows that he was likely okay with talking about it. He wouldn’t tell Sam if he wasn’t okay discussing it, and if they never talked about it, Sam probably wouldn’t casually joke about it in front of him. If Sam thought the comment he made was okay, he probably didn’t think it affected Blaine too much. However, when Sam brings it up, Blaine clearly looks upset. It did have a negative effect on him, and it was more than likely traumatic. And there’s a possibility that it may not have been his first experience with sexual trauma.

There is no question that Blaine had a rough past, and many of those struggles continue to affect him. However, the show, for the most part, ignores them. I hope that through this essay, you were able to learn a bit more about Blaine, understand his inconsistencies and behaviors that seem out of character, to look past the surface level. Blaine is one of the strongest characters, but his issues are hardly ever brought to light. Keep in mind, a lot of this is speculation, headcanons, or analysis of background information that may not have been scripted. Respectful discussion is encouraged, and feel free to share any additional observations, theories, or headcanons, or suggest another character for me to look into.

#glee #blaine anderson #deep dive #blaine anderson headcanon #blaine anderson hc #blaine anderson angst #character analysis #glee blaine #klaine #blam

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ask-jokeboi · 4 years

Photo

The Party

Hope everyone's having a great holiday season so far! This time of year isn't always easy but thankfully friends and a good distraction can make things easier.

I drew these pic’s to pair with a moderately long fic I wrote to follow up the aforementioned party from earlier, it’s below the the cut! Read it if you want! Either way, Happy Holidays! 💜💚💛

Words: 4,142 Relationships: Harlivy /Harley & Joker friendship / Batjokes (mentioned) Universe: Mine / Lego Batman

A/N: sorry for any typos or weird grammatical stuff, I'm good at art, not writing

Summary: Joker’s felt a little down since Batman’s been out of town, will his best friend Harley be able to cheer him up?

Warnings: Alcohol use, implied depression

_____________________

"C'mon Jay it'll be be fun!" Cheered Harley, mustering all the enthusiasm she could in an attempt to persuade Gotham's former clown prince of crime to pull himself together

"I don't care!…. Go bother your girlfriend or something. Leave me alone…" He was currently piled under several layers of blankets, sunk deep into the ball pit he called a bed

"Nuh uh, I'm not haulin' my butt outta this room 'till you haul yours. You can stay in that pit and cry all ya like, but it won't fix nothin', you gott-"

"I don't GOTTA do anything!" Jay snapped. Throwing his blanket aside and revealing his less than kempt appearance, his face twisted into a frustrated glare

Harley, already familiar with Jay's usual harmless outbursts only sighed as she looked her long time friend up and down, taking in his surroundings with a curious eye

It'd been a month or two since Batman left the scene and his absence was definitely beginning to take a toll on the poor clown.

She could tell it'd been a while since he'd done anything to care for himself…. His hair, which was usually swept back into a flawless green pomp, lazily draped his face. The dull forest black of his roots beginning to seep back into the rest of it. Same could be said for the state his room which, due to his erratic nature, was always a bit untidy but had recently fallen into a state of near disrepair. Bags of half eaten junk food and empty bottles of all sorts of things lay strewn across the floor, particularly around his half deflated bed.

Despite the mess, he still seemed a little...thin… more so than usual to be honest… his ribs visible beneath the loose shirt he wore, arms comparable to sticks despite the muscle.

most of all though, he just seemed... tired. Jay always looked tired out of makeup. It was one of the first things she'd managed to take note of when he'd first entered her office years ago…. But right now the purple rings beneath his eyes that never seemed to go away were deepened to a point that made it clear he wasn't getting much sleep or doing much for himself in general...

Seeing her best friend in a state like this was hard to witness… and although her partner, Ivy, didn't have much but mild disdain for Jay, Harley couldn't find it in herself to leave him like this… which is why she thought a party might lift his spirits a little

"C'mooon! You love parties!! It'll just be a small one anyway!" It was actually much bigger than she was implying but Jay liked big and she didn't wanna scare him off too soon…

"Yeah, like that'll make things any better… who did you even invite?? A good half of the rogues don't even like me…"

"Sure they do!"

Jay only looked at her, bereft and unimpressed.

"I mean ok you and Riddler don't always get along and it took a lot a beggin' ta get ya un-banned from the iceberg lounge but still!!"

"Uhg whatever! It doesn't matter! I don't need those bozos seein' me like this anyway..."

"Like what?"

"I don't know! I'm just…... I'm not in the right… mood for something like that right now.... You know how this works… they'd see right through me. "

Back when Jay was still her patient they'd end up talking a lot about masks…Batman's would come up more often than not but every now and then he'd end up discussing his own…. Or more specifically, the metaphorical one he'd put on every time he picked up a brush and painted himself a new face…..

"Jay, sweetie… you don't have to pretend to be okay… they won't think you're weak or nothin', you know that right?..."

Jay gave her an incredibly tired look before turning away.

"What happened to the Jay that wasn't afraid to let people know how he's feelin' huh? The one that turned every emotion into a show….?"

He kept his head down, shoulders stiff, before speaking...

"....Cause I'm not just sad this time…. " As he looked up slowly an emotion that was rarely seen on the mans face showed itself, flooding his eyes.

"W- when I'd talked to Robin and Batgirl that last time and asked about Batman they gave each other this look and…. Something's wrong… he's in trouble or something I… I can feel it….. W-what if he doesn't come back and he leaves me here all alone an-"

Harley put a polished nail up to Jay's lips and smiled warmly.

"Shhhh…. You're worryin' too much puds… ur big dumb brain is just an overdramatic liar… don't listen to it okay?"

Jay sniffled, giving her an understanding nod.

"You still got me an' your crew an' Bud and all the other little silly things that make ya days good doncha?"

He smiles halfheartedly. "Y-yeah…. But still… he was..."

"I know… he's special….but do you seriously think anything out there could actually kill Batman? THE Batman? C'mon now…. He's luckier than any bastard out there and you know it…"

"Yeah…. Yeah I guess ur right"

"Of COURSE I'm right!… now come on…" she offers her hand and helps her friend stand up. "Let's get that hair done and those nails shined up so you're brain can take a break from making all those nasty thoughts"

Jay smiled a little wider this time, forever grateful he had a friend as great as Harley around… he really didn't know what he'd do without her sometimes...

"Right…. Also… uh…. Harley?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for….uh…. Bein'... around… I guess…" Jay practically mumbled...

Harley smiled knowingly, amused with his poor attempt of gratitude

"No problem, Pud's….." she gave him a peck on the forehead leaving a black smudge behind

"now enough mush...Let's clean this mess and get ya fabbed up"

________________

A few hours later, Jay stood outside the titular iceberg lounge in his best winter fit, a long boa around his shoulders and a pair of unnecessary sunglasses obscuring the mascara he'd only half ruined on the way there….

He truly, honestly, did not feel like socializing with anyone at the moment, but who was he to refuse a doctor's orders?....

Taking a deep breath of the cold winter air, Jay stiffened up, smoothed the wrinkles from his vintage memphis style sweater and entered the lounge, heels high and head high as he could manage

____________

When the doors swung open with a swirl of winter snow, Jay was greeted by a surprisingly full and stunningly silent room. Christmas music cut through the tension like a knife as everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Joker's fashionably late arrival.

He didn't know if it was because of his natural ability to demand attention or the fact that he hadn't been seen in nearly 3 weeks, but for some reason the room seemed slightly on edge. worried he'd come with another Joker brand surprise perhaps. Thankfully, Harley, who'd left his place a little earlier to get everything ready, noticed who'd finally arrived.

"JJ!! YOU MADE IT!!" she leaped off her stool and came running to grab him, The rest of the room taking it as a cue to un-tense and to go back to their festivities, the lounge lighting up with warm greetings and laughter.

" Hey…" said Jay as Harley put an arm around his shoulder and escorted him to the booth she was sitting at….

"So… is all of this for me or…?"

"No, did she tell you that?" Ivy who was sitting at the booth with his other less than fond acquaintance, Catwoman and someone else he didn't seem to recognize, gave a snide smile, Jay suddenly felt he should probably sit someplace else

"IVY!! SHHH" Harley shushed

"What? He was gonna find out out eventually…. It was supposed to be Penguin's annual winter ball"

"Uh,It still is tho…?" said Kat, mouth full of shrimp

"Well, yah…. Difference is we had to 'finesse' Penguin into letting HIM in" Ivy explained, disdain in her voice

"And you... helped with that?..." asked Jay, surprised. Ivy sighed

"for Harley's sake, yes. not yours"

Jay smiled, amused. "well how charitable of you, here's to hoping you won't regret it"

Ivy rolled her eyes. "As if I don't already" she said, taking a short sip from her drink, Harley sitting down next to her give her thank u peck on the cheek.

"Hey, why'd you get banned from this dump anyway?" Asked Kat, eyes squinting curiously

"I have no idea…." Jay shrugged

"He put a coke and mento bomb in the fountain!" Harley interrupted

"Oh yeah…." He'd totally forgot

"Ha! Awesome…"

"Right uh, anyway, who the hell are you?" Jays attention suddenly turned to the woman sitting opposite of kat. She had light blue skin, bright white eyes and hair that made her look like a human lighting rod.

"Name's Livewire." She said, voice sharp as her appearance

"She's from Metropolis" explained Ivy. Jay rose a brow.

"Metropolis huh?? How'dya like dealin' with boy scout full time over there?" He quizzed

"Sweet!…" she exclaimed enthusiastically "Big blue aint got a thing on me! 'sides, dweeb's been outta town for months now! metropolis might as well be my personal playground"

The mentioning of Superman's absence made something in Jay's chest twist. He'd known their neighbor hero had been MIA for even longer than Batman, Supergirl taking over the workload just like Batgirl had in Gotham. but still… the reminder was enough to worry him. I mean… if superman was taking so much time up there, what chance did Batman have against whatever it was they were so busy with??

Trying his best to shake off the uneasiness building in his stomach Jay took a breath and snapped back to reality, offering Livewire his hand

"Well, uh... Livewire, i'm this city's head honcho while the bat's gone so welcome to Gotham and try not to wear it out"

Harley and Ivy exchanged looks as Jay smiled slyly and took Livewires hand…

...Only for his usual gesture of hospitality to be met with an equally shocking grip that sent blue sparks flying in every direction.

"DAMN, what the- !! " Jay yanked his hand back and held it in pain, hot needles running up his arm.The new addition to Harley's crew laughed crudely and smiled

"why do you think they call me 'LIVEWIRE' genius?"

Jay stayed silent with defeat as the table went up in hysterics "Yeah fine, okay, I shoulda saw that one coming" he sighed and smoothed out his hair which had sprung up to stand on end, his face ever so slightly red "anyway, you ladies have a nice time… i'll set up shop somewhere else and let you guys… idk… flirt with each other or whatever..." without much fanfare he slunk off to sit someplace else.

After the table had settled down completely though, Harley noticed Jay making his way to the bar looking somewhat dejected.

"Aw Jay…."

The rest curiously turned their attention to the direction of Harley's gaze.

"You're not going after him are you?" Asked Ivy after a beat.

"Well… yeah…?" Harley shrugged.

"Uhm, why?" Asked kat, dipping more shrimp into her cocktail "like if he's not in the mood for a joke that's kinda his problem…?"

"Yeah, but still…. I've never seen 'im like this for so long…. He's usually so funny and animated, it's like somethin' drained all the life out of 'im…." The concern on Harley's face was very apparent. Ivy brushed back a few strands of her hair and tried her best to reassure her.

"Look i'm sure he'll get his second wind when Batman comes back at some point… but ‘til then it's not your job to take care of him…"

Harley sighed silently. "I know but… he's still my best friend… and if I hadn't met him, I wouldn'ta met you!" She squished close to her spouse with a smile, Ivy suddenly unable to hold back a small one herself.

"He helped me outta my slump all those years ago, least I can do is help 'im outta his..."

Ivy gave her a soft look before reluctantly caving "Kindness has always been your best and worst trait, silly bee…" she said with a smirk "fine, go ahead and do your thing, I've got plenty of company over here in the meantime…"

Harley smiled happily and gave her one last kiss before running off to join Jay at the bar.

____________

Jay sat alone at the bar in silence until he was suddenly startled by Harley's arrival.

"What's shakin' grumpy gills?" She asked pulling up a stool.

Jay didn't answer as the bartender slid over a funfetti martini topped with the works, Jay lazily catching it and drinking deeply.

"Those guys didn't get ta ya did they? I know they seem mean bu- "

"Ah… I don't care about them…" said Jay dismissively "we're all villains here right? I'm sure they got their reasons… sides, Livewire's pretty fun even if she did fry my Joy buzzer" He said regretfully…

"So what's up then…?" Asked Harley, head tilted

Jay looked down at the table with a frown, fingers anxiously scraping the side of the glass in his hand….

"What she'd said about metropolis…. And… superman…."

"Oh…" Harley nodded "well…. I'm sure they're together wherever they are…. Right? Him and Batman? And I mean, with Superman around, he's bound to be okay….."

Jay had a hard time matching her enthusiasm but that logic did comfort him some. "Yeah… yeah I guess so"

"C'mon Jay, you gotta get that stuff off your mind for a minute! Go mingle! Go dance!… look at everyone who came this time! Turn-out's never been so big!"

As Jay's looked around the room, Harley did have a point, usually these get-togethers only managed to scrounge up about half the gang, but it looked like almost all the rogues in town had come this time. Even D-listers like Polkadot man, Killer Moth, Crazy Quilt ect. Had managed to show up, plus people he didn't seem to recognize…

For example at the bar sat Scarecrow and a… Oddly scruffy looking man he looked to be sharing a drink with. He'd heard from Riddler over the phone some time ago that crow had found himself a friend and that the two were "in cahoots". whatever that was supposed to mean. He supposed that must've been the "friend" in question…

A few tables down sat another unfamiliar in a polkadot shirt and a pair of cracked thick lensed glasses. He had a peculiar looking puppet sitting on his lap which made J raise a brow, but he didn't judge. Looking at his woefully nervous face he guessed it must it must've been a security thing anyway…

Despite the big crowd though, Jay did notice one person missing of whom he hadn't seen in quite a while...

"Yeah I guess everyone is here... except uh, Lex I guess…?" Jay considered himself friends with metropolises king of corruption, even if the feeling wasn't always mutual. Seeing so many crooks he knew in one place made him realize how rare it was to see the mal hearted mogul at these things.

Unfortunately, Harley could only shrug with defeat. "Ah I tried to get Lex but you know how he is… nobody's seen that shut in for ages".

Jay's eyes narrowed at that "How long is ages…. ?" He pressed

"I dunno… a few months guess??? Livewire said he's been quiet lately, probably off in one of his labs making some over convoluted instrument of destruction I guess"

The growing list of missing big shots was beginning to piece something together in Jay's head… what on earth was Lex up to? Where was superman?? Why did the league need Batman's help? How did it all connect?? After a moment Harley noticed Jay slipping into his thoughts again and shook his shoulder lightly to pull him out of it.

"Hey, don't worry about that egghead. he'd only kill the mood if he were here anyway"

Jay couldn't disagree, the billionaire was kind of notorious for being a giant stick in the mud.

"If you're really worried about what's goin' on with those guys, you can come up with a plan Tomorrow…. right now we got a' open dance floor, unlimited drinks and a Karaoke competition that's about ta kick off in ten"

The word 'Karaoke' was enough to snap Jay back to reality. "Did you say Karaoke?"

"Yes, I did."

"Do they hav-"

"Yes, they have Queen"

Jay nearly looked as if someone had told him the best news of his life. "Oh thank god" maybe Harley was right. Worrying would have to wait.

_____________

The rest of the night went on with few hang ups. Drinks poured, music played and poorly screeched lyrics kept the mood upbeat.

The Karaoke stage hosted performance after performance, some more enthusiastic than others. Some painful, others surprisingly pleasant. Jay's teetered off the edge of both categories, but when "somebody to love" burst through those speakers, he'd sung it with his whole chest. The best performance by a long shot though had to be Ivy's who's affinity for 50's ballads lent to her beautifully rich voice and her's was closely followed by the Dent's who'd decided to attempt a duet with no chorus which everyone found somewhat impressive.

Emotions did flare up once or twice though, as they tend to do when it comes to villain gatherings. Ed and Jay got into a fight about something stupid and unimportant, both obviously enjoying themselves, Bane and Croc engaged in an arm wrestle that woefully ended in a tie, and Jay inevitably got worked up about Batman again, this time with a crowd of eager listeners somewhat entertained by his rambling, giving questionable advice here and there.

At the get-together's height, the dance floor had filled to the point where Penguin was just about ready to call the whole event off until Riddler dragged him on to the floor himself.

After another hour or so the party wound down some more and the night devolved into quiet discussions between friends, everyone either ready to leave or half asleep. Eventually Jay and Two-face of all people were left alone. Once Ed, Crow, Hatter and the rest had gone home.

Jay always liked Harv, for someone known for his temper he seemed to have a lot of patience and Jay found both of his selves uniquely interesting in their own ways. Harvey the "handsome" one was always very nice, easily flustered, and had a sadness in his eyes that was hard to ignore. "Dent", the one famous for all those 2 themed crimes, was a bold individual and one of the most brutally honest people he knew. That night though, even he seemed a little sad. He admitted later that it was because it'd been a while since he'd gotten to talk to his old pal Bruce, someone Jay was mildly familiar with of course, and they spent the rest of the night discussing Batman and wayne and how they seemed so similar until it really was time to head home.

sometime after midnight, long after everyone had either left or found someplace to pass out, Harley broke up with her girl gang again to come get Jay who'd fallen asleep in an empty booth.

"Wake up clown" she said loudly, nudging him a bit. Jay giggled quietly in response, turning over after a moment and opening his eyes.

"Oohh what's up??"

"Time to go."

"Aw…" Jay huffed disappointedly, then did his best to sit up straight, his head slowly spinning as he did so "ah jeeze…"

"Don't worry I called one of your guys, he's waiting outside." She explained "I dragged you here, might as well drag you home"

"You did that for me?" Jay smiled "That's so nice…."

"Mhm" carefully, she took his hand got him to his feet, doing her best to keep him up straight. As they headed out they met up with Ivy at the door

"Taking pennywise home?" She asked

"It'll only take a minute" Harley assured

"Alright… don't take too long…" she turned to leave but before she could, Jay suddenly spoke up.

"H-hey, Wait!"

Ivy turned around, brow raised "You have something to say to me?"

"Uh… yeah? I mean… sort of? I just, uh… wanted to say i'm sorry for… messing up your garden all those times…."

Ivy blinked "Why are you telling me this now?"

"I just thought you shud kno…. And that um…. Maybe you'd hate me…. A little less... if I said sorry for once..." the frown on Jays face was absolutely pitiful, Ivy could only roll her eyes.

"I don't hate you… Joker"

"Oh?"

"I just think you're annoying…."

"Oh…." Jay couldn't really tell if that was any better but at the moment he was too drunk to care. "Okay…"

With that ivy turned around to join Kat and Livewire

"Thanks for the apology though I suppose…Take care of yourself…. And, Harley don't take too long… it's only 1:00am we still have plans."

"Don't worry Ive's i'll catch up."

after one last look, Ivy went back on her way and Harley continued walking J to his car.

As they went Jay hummed to himself, swaying slightly, until a certain thought made him go quiet again.

"....Harley….?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah, J?"

"Am I a bad friend?" The question just as out of the blue as his apology to Ivy….

Harley looked at him, concerned "Why do ya ask?"

"I just…. Please?" He pleaded. Harley hesitated for a long moment but decided being honest was probably best.

" not exactly but… maybe sometimes"

"Hm…" Jay decided he'd have to work on that

"But I also know ya don't really wanna hurt anybody…. That you try your best everyday ta make people happy and that you've been through just as much any of us…. A few mean comments an' dumb pranks ain't gonna make anybody think you're the devil or somethin'….not me or any of the other guys... "

Jay had to smile at that, Harley always had something smart or nice to say no matter what. still, her answer only made him feel worse about how he'd been earlier when she was just trying to help… he really, honestly, didn't deserve her…. But the least he could do was let her know he was glad to have her...

"Harley…?"

"Yeah, J…"

"Thanks for being really, really great all the time… and… y'know… around… " Harley smiled as she secured his arm around her shoulders.

"Thanks J..."

"also sorry for sucking sometimes..."

She sighed. "It's fine Jay…."

carefully, she hauled his ragdolling body a few more feet and shoved him into the back seat of his car. J grunting as his head hit the leather seat.

"Now go home an' try not to get lost on your way to the door" She said sternly. Jay gave her a lazy wink and a pair of wobbly finger guns.

"Gotcha."

with that,Harley slammed the door shut and the J-Mobile's engine roared to life. One his lackeys sitting in the driver's seat.

"Where to boss? HQ?"

"Yup… ah, sorry t' call ya out so late…"

"S'alright boss…. Don't worry about it"

As the car lurched forward, street lights shining in through the windows as snow fell ever so lightly over Gotham like a dusting of fresh powdered sugar, Jay did inevitably start thinking about Batman again, wondering when he'd come back, desperately wishing he knew anything about where he was right now….

The thoughts were hard to ignore and when he got home he knew he'd be surrounded by the same walls he'd spent the last month trapped with them in…. even so, the world felt a little less washed out than it had before he left, and it wasn't just because of the alcohol swirling in his blood.

He may not have had Batman... But today reminded him he wasn't alone.

He had friends… real friends… In a way he'd always considered them such… but deep down there was always doubt. I mean sure he got along better with some than others, but after knowing people so long he shouldn't have been so dumb to think they hated him as much as he thought they did.

When you're a villain in Gotham sometimes all you have are other weirdos in the same boat as you to help keep you and everyone else afloat. People need people in more ways than one… and as Jay drifted off to sleep in the back of his gaudy getaway vehicle, laying in a position that was just barely comfortable, he pushed his worries aside and made sure that was something he'd never let himself forget.

~ End ~

#batman #dc comics #the joker #harley Quinn #lego batman #christmas #blogged

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psychedellic-phase · 4 years

Text

Fifteen (part 6)

A/N: this part contains season 7 spoilers!!

tw: cursing, regular criminal minds stuff

wordcount: 3.3k

masterlist:

He squatted down to look inside of the box, deciding not to worry about the surprise being ruined. He knows the ending, it’s already spoiled, so why not see what he has in store?

He took a mental note of each item, cataloging them in the extensive library that is his brain. For some of the items he immediately knew what they meant, for others he would have to read. He realized the bottom of the box was dirty, dusty even. When he picked up the debris, he realized they were pieces of dried flower petals that had been crushed to smithereens when he knocked the box over. He held the delicate pieces in his hands, barely even breathing, so he wouldn’t destroy them more than he already had. He sighed and tried to put the petals back together like a puzzle, but it was missing far too many pieces. Pieces that he was responsible for losing. Tears welled up in his eyes and he put the pieces on his bedside table.

He was angry now. In all his grieving since the breakup, he hadn’t been angry yet. He did the rest of the five stages, just in the wrong order. He started out with denial, telling himself it was all a dream. If he could just wake up then you would be right there, arms open, ready to accept him, comfort him, love him. Then came the bargaining, countless nights on your doorstep banging on the door begging you to let him in and just talk. You never answered. Then the depression, which lasted longer than he expected. He was still a shell of a person on most days, just moving through the motions, not feeling much of anything at all. In the few weeks prior he had grown to accept defeat, accept that this was over and done. Acceptance is always the hardest bit, especially for him. Spencer Reid doesn’t lose. But he always seemed to forget that love isn’t a game to be played; you were not a prize to be won. Love is hard work and sweat and tears and yelling and kissing and laughing and comfort. Love isn’t a game.

But then your stupid box came, causing him lose all the progress he had made.

Now, he was finally angry. He was angry at himself more than you, but he was still so angry with you. He knew he had mentally checked out of your relationship before the end, but that was because he just needed a break. Everything had changed so much so fast that he just needed to go sort himself out before jumping back into you. But you wouldn’t give him the time. You didn’t need space, you needed him; and he wouldn’t give himself to you. Neither of you would give the other what they desperately needed, so you ended it. He may have blamed himself for your relationship’s demise but he blamed you for leaving. He hated that you could just walk away from him, just like everyone else did. He hated that you could walk away from your family like that. How could you leave Derek behind? Rossi? Hotch? JJ? Garcia? How could you be so selfish?

“How could you!?” He wailed, as if you were there to hear him. Hot, angry tears ran down his face.

Spencer was seething, pacing wildly up and down in his room, pulling at his hair in a desperate attempt to feel any release. Eventually he talked himself down, but immediately following anger is depression. That damn Kubler-Ross Change curve. That familiar hollow feeling filled up his chest. He was numb again, and immediately regretted all the thoughts he had about you.

He was just hurt, in so many different ways at once and he had no idea what to do with it. Handling his emotions isn’t exactly his strong suit.

More than anything he missed you. The letters only brought back up all the feelings he had worked so hard to repress. He needed you, more than he ever did, so he turned to the one place he could find you.

“Congratulations Spence! You have made it ⅓ of the way through the letters. ⅓ of the way through our relationship. So it only makes sense that this is about our one year anniversary.

We take a time jump on this one. So direct your attention to the green velvet jewelry box and the dried flower. I kept a few flowers from every bouquet you ever got me and dried them, so I could have them forever. Remember how I had so many flowers tied up with string hanging in our bedroom? They were all from you. Throwing flowers away always made me sad, especially when you bought them because you always took such care in choosing them. Every bouquet had a meaning. I never knew about flower symbolism until I met you. This magnolia is from my favorite bouquet you ever got me, the ones for our first anniversary,”

His heart sank. The flower was your favorite, and there it was in shreds on his nightstand. He destroyed it, not on purpose, but he still destroyed it. He ran his hands through his brown hair, cursing himself for ruining yet another thing. Lately, he always seemed to be doing that.

“So let’s start with some context. Everything was going perfectly. The universe was finally on our side. Emily came back from the dead, which was a shocking but very welcome surprise. I needed her, needed my best friend. And she came at just the right time. She was different, but still our Em. JJ was back as a profiler now, which made us all very happy, you in particular. The gang was finally back together and we felt unstoppable, invincible. Hell, we even got questioned by a Senate Committee and still kept our jobs. Things got back to normal, or whatever can be considered ‘normal’ for us. It’s a very loose definition of the word. We had officially been together a year and it was without a doubt the happiest year of my life. We never fought, all our days were filled with work and loving each other. We spent all our time together, which in hindsight probably wasn’t the best thing. We got a little codependent. But it worked. We worked.

I’m still sorry for how that day went. You planned it to be perfect, and I messed it up.

The flowers and necklace were the gifts that you planned to give me at your place after we got dinner at that fancy Italian restaurant downtown that I had been dying to eat at. You told me it took a lot to get the reservations, but you managed to snag a table for us, because you called three months in advance. It was the sweetest gesture. I mean that. No guy ever put that much effort into something for me. I was so excited; I went out and bought a dress for the occasion and everything. It was going to be the best night. We were going to hit the first milestone of many. There were only 3. I thought there would be infinite anniversaries for us, Spence, but we only had 3. And I’m sorry I ruined the first one.

Work happened. More specifically, Hotch sent me and Rossi to interview a prisoner at North Branch in Maryland. I originally refused, telling them all about our date. Hotch and Rossi both assured me we would be back in time for the reservations.

“Why me? Why can’t you bring Emily? Or Derek? This is the ONE night I need!” I had complained.

“Your skills are what we need for this one. It’ll be quick Y/N, I promise,” Hotch said. I rolled my eyes, not to be disrespectful but so he knew I wasn’t happy.

“Fine, but if you make me stand up Spencer Reid on our anniversary you’ll be a very sorry man.”

They both just laughed and I was whisked away on the jet to Maryland. The whole way there I was nervous and fidgeting. I barely spoke to Rossi on the flight, and I’m have the biggest mouth of anyone! I just didn’t want to ruin that night. You were so excited. I hate disappointing you. You were so nice about my having to work though. When I told you I had to go, you texted me and told me it was okay, a flight from DC to Baltimore is 34 minutes. We’d barely hit altitude before we had to come down, and that you were so excited to see me. I promised you that I’d make it, I’d even be early.

I think that’s the only promise to you I ever broke.

The guy we interviewed was a real weirdo, like a little weirder than the usual unsubs. He was on Death Row, scheduled to be executed in a week. His thing was killing women and then scalping them to make wigs.

Real nasty.

We got there earlier than expected, around noon. We interviewed him for a while, taking a lot of breaks to breathe. He even gave Rossi the heebie-jeebies and Rossi invented interviewing serial killers. Just as we were about done, around four, something happened. A riot in the courtyard. Of course. They locked down the prison. Thankfully we were not stuck in the room with the psycho, like you were with Hotch that time. They still wouldn’t let us leave. It’s not like we didn’t ask. We did. We did the whole “we’re FBI agents. Don’t make me call the director” thing. The warden just said sorry, no can do, tough shit. So Rossi and I were trapped in a hyper-max that was rioting, and the clock was ticking and ticking and my chances of making this date were fading away.

To say I was pissed was an understatement. Rossi knew I was furious. He was there when Hotch said ‘It’ll be quick Y/N, promise,” and he knows how I bite heads off when I’m mad. He’s a smart man, so he did the smart thing and didn’t talk. I tried to call you, text you, everything, but my stupid phone had no reception in that stupid concrete box.

They let us out at 5, combine the 34 minute flight with commuting to and from the air strips and taking into account 5 pm rush hour traffic? I know you can tell me exactly how long it would’ve taken me to get to the restaurant. But even I knew it was too damn long.

And the traffic really outdid itself that day! I didn’t think a ten minute drive could ever be a half hour long, but it was. As we sat I got more and more antsy and tried calling you. Straight to voicemail. I did that probably 15 times, but nothing. Your phone died. Most people would assume that you charge your phone all the time, but it’s the opposite. The thing rarely is above 30% and I used to remind you to charge it all the time. It was always sort of endearing, just another thing to love about your quirky self. That night it was just infuriating.

When we landed it was already past 6:30. I changed in the bathroom at Quantico and drove as fast as I could to the restaurant. I definitely broke some laws that day.

When I got there I didn’t see you, so I asked the hostess about the reservation. She gave me a sad look and told me you waited forty-five minutes for me. You even ordered my favorite wine for the table. And I missed it.”

Spencer recalled sitting there at the table, fidgeting with his thumbs and barely sitting still. Every time the door swung open and it wasn’t you he lost more and more hope. His phone had died because he was bad at charging it. You were the one to always remind him to plug it in before bed. He couldn’t even call you to see if you were okay, or call Rossi, or Hotch. He couldn’t do anything except sit there and eat the free bread and oil that were on the table. He knew there would be a good reason why you missed the date, but that didn’t make it hurt any less. At 6:45 he gave up and paid for the wine he barely even drank and left, everyone sending him sympathetic looks as he walked out. It was no longer perfect, and that’s all he wanted. One perfect night with you, and you couldn’t even give him that.

“So I drove to your place and knocked on the door. I was so nervous, feeling equal amounts of excitement and dread. I knocked on the door and you opened it. I smiled and went in for the hug and you blocked it. Cue our first fight.

“I’m so sorry love, at the prison they locked us in and we couldn’t leave and then there was traffic and I’m so so sorry,” I said. You just wouldn’t look at me. You just stared at the gift bag on your couch.

“Spencer? Hello? I’m so sorry. I know how much effort you put into today and I–“

“Do you know how embarrassing that is?” You said. You looked upset, brows furrowed and hands waving wildly.

“I sat there for almost an hour alone, the waitress even offered me dessert on the house because I got stood up. I kept telling them you’d be there, but I had to give up. You stood me up on our anniversary Y/N.”

I felt like a kid getting scolded by their favorite teacher.

“I tried to call you,” I mumbled, “There was no service in the prison so when we were on our way back to the jet I tried, but it went straight to voicemail.”

You just groaned and ran your hands through your hair. You had taken off your suit jacket and tie and they were thrown on the couch.

“You shouldn’t have gone! You knew what today meant to me and still went!”

“I tried! I asked Hotch if someone else could do it and he said no! And YOU said it was okay!”

Our voices were loud now, I half expected your neighbor to bang on the door and tell us off.

“Of course I did! I couldn’t tell you not to do your job. The job always comes first! I just wish you told me so I didn’t look like an idiot!”

“‘Job always comes first’” I mocked, you looked at me in a way you never looked at me. It was the look you only used on unsubs. Jaw clenched, eyes fiery, more pissed than I had ever seen you. “I TRIED to tell you! Maybe if you ever charged your damn phone you would’ve gotten my texts! My fourteen phone calls! Maybe you would’ve gotten the texts and calls I had Rossi send because I thought it was my phone that was broken!”

You moved to sit on the couch, me standing in front of you. Tears were stinging my eyes, I’ve always been an angry crier. I softened before talking next.

“Spence, Love, look at me.”

And you did. Your brown eyes looked sad, all the rage and fire behind them was gone.

“I’m sorry, what can I do?”

I sat next to you and put my head on your shoulder. You leaned your head on top of mine. Such a small gesture, but so romantic at the same time.

“I just wanted today to be special,” you croaked.

“I know. I’m sorry. I should’ve called the restaurant or something. I could’ve found a better plan.”

“No, it’s not your fault. I’m sorry too, Y/N.”

You wrapped me up in a much needed hug and kissed my cheek. We sat like that for a while.

“Well this isn’t how I wanted tonight to go but,” You said and reached behind you.

I sighed, “I didn’t get you anything, we said no gifts.”

You smirked and handed me a bouquet of flowers and a bag, “They’re magnolias.”

“They’re beautiful,” I said, and I shoved my face in them to smell.

“Magnolias are considered one of the first flowering plants. Fossil remains show they have been around for 100 million years. They symbolize longevity and perseverance. Men historically gifted women magnolias as an appreciation of their beauty, essentially saying ‘you are worthy of a beautiful magnolia.’ But more recently the idea of a steel magnolia, a strong southern wom—“

I cut you off with a kiss, “I love them. Stop rambling.”

You blushed and motioned for me to open the bag. It held a small, green velvet jewelry box. Inside was a vintage locket, gold with little blue stones and beautiful etching. I gasped when I saw it. I opened it up and it was empty.

“I wanted you to pick what goes in it, Y/N.”

I held it delicately in my hands; the chain was so thin, “It’s perfect.”

You grinned practically ear to ear, those dimples coming out full force. I asked you to clasp it for me and it hung just below the base of my neck.

I wore the locket daily. The gold started to tarnish and chip, but I still wore it. I only took it off to shower and sleep. On one side of the oval I put a picture of you, the one from the fourth of July when I painted the kids’ faces at Rossi’s party. I painted a flag on your cheek. You laughed as the brush tickled your skin. You smiled wide in that picture. I love that picture. It’s still in there. It hurts to look at.

I can’t wear it anymore. I thought long and hard about keeping it. It was a part of me for two years. It kept you close to my heart always, no matter where we were. I thought maybe I could change the picture out, or just leave it in a box to collect dust. Both options feel wrong, so instead I’m giving it back to you, along with the magnolia that has long since dried up. Much like our feelings for each other.

I don’t care what you do with any of these things. I don’t even know what to do with them, with any of this. I don’t know what to do with all these feelings, Spence. I don’t know what comes next. I don’t know how to do this without you. You always know. So do with these what you see fit. I trust you.”

Spencer put the paper down and held the box in his hands and opened it. He remembered picking it out and thinking how wonderfully the blue and gold would contrast your skin tone. He remembered clasping it around your neck a thousand times because your fingers just couldn’t seem to do it. He remembered how you used to play with it when you got nervous. He remembered the rows of flowers you would hang on the wall. It just inspired him to keep buying you more and more. He loved those little things about you.

As you promised the picture of him was still inside. He stared at himself with a huge grin and a red, white, and blue cheek. He was so happy. He looked nothing like the man in that picture anymore. His hair was longer and shaggier now and he couldn’t remember the last time he smiled like that. Smiles like that were reserved for you.

He held the locket in his hands and stared out the window, admiring how the snow blanketed the street.

Then he heard something, a knock at his door.

He jumped up, part of him thought it would be you. Could it be? Has rainy Seattle already been too much for you?

A familiar voice from behind the door spoke, “Hey, it’s me.”

Part 7!

taglist: @l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings

@ajwantsapancake @andiebeaword @boiled-onionrings @frnks-stuff @icantevenanymore1

#spencer reid #spencer x you #spencer reid fic #spencer reid smut #spencer #reid #criminal minds #cm #criminal minds fic #mgg #matthew gray gubler #reid x you

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steppedoffaflight · 3 years

Text

Summer’s a Knife - Chapter 15

Catch up on Chapter 14 here

You’re kicking yourself for taking these last months for granted, for thinking that that was what it meant to miss a busy Van. Pining and pouting over a Van that you basically saw once a week? That wasn’t so exhausted from back-to-back shows that he made time to call, or at least respond to your texts? Who spent enough time in one place that you could actually go visit him on tour?

You’re missing your best friend like crazy.

Word count: ~3.3k

A/N: I can’t believe there’s only two chapters left after this! Thank you from the bottom of my heart to everyone who’s taken the time to read this, and endless thank you’s to everyone who has reached out with feedback ❤️

Chapter Fifteen September 2019

Fall in California doesn’t look the same as it does in Michigan, but you wish it did. Although you’re glad winters here only involve mild weeks in the fifties and sixties, you do miss the atmosphere of gray, rainy September days, leaves shriveling up and falling off of the trees, and changing out your wardrobe into something cozier. Sure, the pumpkin spice trend is still active, but pumpkin spice lattes don’t taste the same with eighty degree temperatures and the shining sun.

Maybe you’re homesick because you’re desperate for your surroundings to match your insides.

Van wasn’t kidding about the band’s workload this month. You’re kicking yourself for taking these last months for granted, for thinking that that was what it meant to miss a busy Van. Pining and pouting over a Van that you basically saw once a week? That wasn’t so exhausted from back-to-back shows that he made time to call, or at least respond to your texts? Who spent enough time in one place that you could actually go visit him on tour?

You had been so naive. So, so, fucking naive. And September was absolute torture to prove it. And it would feel much, much better to slog through this month on rainy sidewalks crusted with damp leaves, a crisp breeze trying to sneak through the seams of your coat.

But instead the world just spins on, leaving you behind. September is a new beginning for many people, who gladly chatter about it everywhere they go. UCLA students are starting to return to the area, bouncing around in their backpacks with iced coffees, and at work your co-workers are returning from their eventful summers refreshed and ready to end the year with a bang. There are back-to-school sales on everything, from spin classes to puppies in a petstore window, and the happier everyone is about the new season the more alone you feel.

Because that’s a great way to sum up how you feel, really: alone. It was the fucking worst. You’d never been someone who had a problem being alone! You’d purposely decided to live alone; you had practically skipped for joy down the sidewalks when you’d broken up with your last boyfriend. You had a nice friend group with the other girls at work, and of course you had Mary, so what else could an independent woman like you need? Certainly not a boyfriend or a girlfriend to make you feel fulfilled. Things wouldn’t even be different if Van was your boyfriend, you try to convince yourself. He’d still be busy. You’d still be rooted in L.A.. You’d still be just as depressed as you are right now.

You don’t believe that one bit.

Got that reservation, Van texts you one night after a rare phone call. You’d asked him to try and get Mary and Theo a table for their anniversary, and apparently he’d pulled through. You beam to yourself as he sends another text with the reservation information, and then decide to give Mary a call.

“Where the fuck have you been?” Is Mary’s greeting. “Has Van kidnapped you?”

You don’t have the heart to tell her it’s the opposite, actually. You’re so trapped in your lonely self-pity you don’t really have the energy or desire to socialize with others right now. In your heart right now, it’s Van or bust.

“Maybe,” You joke, although you feel like you don’t sound very convincing. “Speaking of Van, he might happen to have a reservation next week that he can’t make…” You grin as your voice trails off, “And maybe he accidentally made the reservation under your name?”

Mary audibly gasps down the line. “He got us a table?” She squeals, but you can hear she’s trying to hold back her excitement until she knows for sure.

“I might have called in a favor from him,” You laugh as you listen to Mary’s excitement at your confirmation.

“He is an absolute angel,” She gushes. “You need to marry him, like, now.”

You’re sure that this time your laugh definitely sounds hollow. You’ve never admitted your love for Van, even though Mary questions you about it regularly and never seems convinced with your denials. While you usually tell her everything, your feelings for Van have always felt like a giant bruise, something best not exposed. You don’t think you could stand the teasing, or Mary’s typical meddling. And right now, considering your heart is one oozing wound, you’re thankful for your own secret-keeping.

“I just wanted to let you know,” You start to wind down the conversation. Your phone has pinged with another text from Van, and you don’t want to waste this opportunity to catch up with him. “I’ll screenshot the reservation stuff and text you.”

“Tell Van I said thank you! We said thank you. Like, seriously. He’s amazing.”

You two say goodbye and you relay the message to Van over text, before responding to the message he’d just sent. Sam Fender’s album was out tomorrow, and there would be a huge bash at his Hollywood house the following weekend, which the band wouldn’t be in the States to attend. Van was clearly bummed about the whole thing, and you were too. You wonder if Sam and his friends remembered you from the party, or if you’ve faded from everyone’s memory. You wish there was a way for you to reach out to him and congratulate him.

Get your cheque yet? Van asks when the conversation about Sam has run its course.

Right. The insurance check. Yup, you respond, frowning to yourself in dismay. A whole $5,000. Yippee.

You couldn’t believe that’s all you’d received from the insurance debacle. You’d purchased the car for $12,000 from a dealer, worked your ass to pay it off over the years, and now the insurance company had awarded you less than half of the cost of the car to somehow give you the means to buy a new one. And it’d be almost impossible to find something in good shape for that price that was also an automatic, because you grew up in Michigan, where people were not obsessed with driving stick shifts.

Least you’ve got the rover.

Right. The Range Rover. The one scrap of Van you could cling to during this awful time.

The next time you have to pass that stupid petshop with their stupidly cute puppies in the window on your walk back to the office after lunch, you decide to send a pic to Van: Yes or no to me getting a puppy.

Which one?

Holy fuck, he responded in less than twelve hours. It’s your lucky day.

I’m thinking that little fuzzy gray one.

I’d be supremely jealous. He’s cute and I love dogs.

Van is a terrible influence. You’re ashamed to admit you stall in front of the window for longer than necessary, looking at the little gray puppy with the pointed ears bounce around in the playpen before forcing yourself to move along. A puppy would probably be good for you, honestly, but that’s not a decision you should make on impulse.

Miss you, says another text from Van. Then another: Might be in town on Tuesday? Fingers crossed the flights work out.

Unfortunately, they do not.

The flights do, however, work out for Thursday. That’s a fact you only discover after coming home from work and heading into your bedroom to change, only to trip over two rolling suitcases and realize there’s a Van-sized lump sleeping in your bed.

“What’re you doing?” Van mumbles, peeking his head out from under the blankets as you swear up a storm.

“What are you doing?” You shout, your toes throbbing. You’d accidentally kicked one of his rolling suitcases across the bedroom hardwood, and your toes were aching from the impact. On its way across the bedroom that suitcase had bumped the other, causing it to fall like a domino. “Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

A slow grin spreads over Van’s face. “I wanted to surprise you!”

“By making my room an obstacle course?” You huff, lifting the fallen suitcase upright and rolling both of them out of the way into a corner.

Van’s sleepy state inhibits him from arguing, and he tucks his head back under the comforter.

“God, you scared the shit out of me,” You continue, your adrenaline still pumping from the fright and the pain. “I regret making you a key. I want it back.”

“Shut up,” Comes Van’s muffled voice.

“You shut up,” You bite back, but as the throbbing in your toes die down your irritation is replaced with the realization that this is reality, that Van is actually in your fucking bed at this moment. “I missed you,” You announce suddenly, your voice a lot softer.

Van peeks his head out again. His hair is a ruffled, oily mess as he beams at you. “I missed you more.”

“Bet you didn’t. Bet you forgot about me while you were doing cool band stuff.”

“Oh, did I? Wonder who I was texting Sam about, then.”

At this your jaw drops. “You did what?”

“I told him I was sorry I was leaving town tomorrow, and you said congratulations. And he asked how you were. Bond and him wanna do a celebratory pub night down in Newcastle.”

“No fair!” You pout, stomping your foot like a child. “You’re gonna celebrate without me?”

“Get your passport!” Van cries, throwing one of his arms up in exasperation before flopping back down on the bed. “Come with us!”

Getting your passport is a pain you’re reluctant to go through. You sigh. Maybe you’d try during the holidays back in Michigan, where the lines at the post office weren’t practically out the door everyday. Even if things with Van are over by then, Mary’s been trying to talk you into an overseas vacation for a while.

“You’re leaving tomorrow?” You decide to narrow in on that fact, pushing passport thoughts aside.

“Tomorrow night,” Van confirms. “Drop me off after work?”

“Of course.” If you only had him for these twenty-four hours, you were gonna milk every second you had.

Van is completely wiped from touring, and spends his entire time at your place in the same sweats. He gets out of bed the next morning to shower and have a cup of coffee with you, but other than that he’s glued to the mattress, getting some much-needed rest.

But even when he’s tired, Van is fun to be around. When you’re exhausted from work it means that your job has sapped every last bit of joy from you, leaving you without any desire to be creative, go out with friends, or try to be in a good mood. With Van, it’s like he would keep going if his body allowed him. He talks about tour fondly, still expresses excitement about starting on the new album, and still manages to pluck at your guitar from his nesting spot in bed. He’s the same Van; the only difference is the constant yawning and the way the lines around his eyes are more defined. Oh, and the lack of energy for any fooling around.

That last part doesn’t even cross your mind until you’re on your way home from the airport. You were so content just to have him around that you totally forgot how much you’d been using your vibrator lately.

But even with how content you were for that blissful twenty-four hours, as soon as you’ve stepped in the door to your empty house the aching in your heart returns. In your time apart all the little details about Van had gone fuzzy in your mind; his scent on your pillow, how it takes a cup of coffee in the morning for his voice to stop cracking. But remembering them makes everything sting with a vengeance, and you’re left feeling shittier than you have all month.

There’s been a nagging feeling creeping around the edges of your brain like a fog, and as much as you’ve been trying to deny it, it’s hard tonight. It’s just that everything with Van has started to hurt, and you’re not sure it’s ever going to go away. His schedule over the summer was flexible, but even after this intense bout of touring he’d be busy with recording. And then the band would be vigorously promoting and touring that album, and so on, forever, because Van would never stop making music, you were sure of that.

The tears well up in your eyes even thinking about not having him around. Despite your crushing adoration for him, he really is your best friend, and the idea of losing his friendship makes your heart clench in agony, the tears spilling over. But it’s not really a fair friendship when only one of you is crying about it, is it? Van doesn’t have to hurt like this, because his heart isn’t invested in you like yours is in him.

You allow yourself an indulgent self-pity cry as you make your bed, rumpled from Van’s napping, and climb in. You figure if you’re going to have a pity party for yourself you might as well do it right, and switch your pillow out for his so you can smell the smoke he leaves everywhere he goes. You know that as happy as you are when he’s around, there’s no way you can keep crying over someone when leaving is as much of their job as sending emails is to yours.

That’s why when Van pops in for another impromptu visit the following Tuesday, you’re not as happy to see him as you usually would be. It’s the same way that the idea of next morning’s hangover can ruin a night out, except with Van there’s no magical way to handicap your brain from thinking about the future.

The sex comes close, though. As soon as you two get to your place after picking him up he tosses his backpack aside before cornering you against the front door.

“I fucking missed you,” He practically growls in your ear, and holy fuck it’s been so long. You two rush for the bedroom, peeling off clothes as you go. Van is too impatient to worry about unbuttoning his shirt and simply peels it over his head, while you unclasp your own bra to avoid the delay. Before you know it you’re on your back, the blankets falling away from Van’s shoulders as he thrusts into you with all he’s got, your headboard banging against the wall so loudly you almost worry about damaging it. When you come it’s intensely satisfying, and you pull Van’s hair ridiculously hard to prove it. In retaliation he bites down on your shoulder as he comes, the same as he did the first time you ever slept with him.

The whole world feels right for that magical half hour, and then as you both lay on your backs trying to process what’s happened it all starts to shift again.

“When are you leaving, again?” You ask the ceiling, your voice stiff.

“Thursday morning,” He croaks. “Gotta get to Salt Lake City.”

You start to roll yourself up, heading for the bathroom. “Right.”

You feel Van’s body tense under the sheets next to you. “You alright?”

“Yup,” You tell him, emerging from the bed. You’re not convincing in the slightest, and Van can clearly tell. You don’t give him time to question you before leaving the bedroom.

“What’d I do?” You startle when you hear Van’s footsteps following behind you to the bathroom.

“Nothing.” You almost laugh at how ridiculous you sound.

Van hasn’t even bothered to throw boxers on, leaning in the bathroom doorway with his softening dick on display. He sighs. “Wanna step out for a smoke?”

You’re actually craving the fuck out of a cigarette, but you’d rather just go to bed and have this night be over with. Maybe tomorrow you’d be more able to enjoy Van’s presence, rather than pouting over how it’s rapidly coming to an end as soon as it began. “I’m fine,” You tell him. Your voice sounds less sharp and more resigned. It wasn’t his fault, after all.

Van shakes his head. He uses the toilet when you’re done, tosses on the sweatpants he had rolled in his backpack, and heads out onto the porch alone.

In his absence you scold yourself for acting like this. What the fuck were you doing? Ruining the two nights you had him, because of something that wasn’t anybody’s fault? You remake the bed, mentally giving yourself a stern talking to.

“You wanna talk about what’s wrong now?” Van’s voice makes you jump out of your skin.

“Nothing’s wrong,” You insist again, but your voice betrays you.

“Something is,” Van argues. “I’ve been watching you fluff that pillow for ages.”

At his words you realize your hands are still gripping the corner of your pillowcase, and you unclench your fists.

Van steps into the room, and to your mortification you feel your eyes heat up with warm tears.

“It’s been a long day,” You lie. It’s been a long fucking summer. “And I’m PMSing.”

Van frowns in sympathy, starting to climb back into bed. “Need a cuddle?”

A cuddle sounds like the equivalent of doing an entire round of shots by yourself when you’re already dreading the hangover.

“Yeah,” You sniff. “I do.”

On Thursday morning Van gets you up even earlier than your alarm clock, one of his hands nudging your thighs apart. You expect him to get on top of you once you’re more fully awake, yawning and wiggling around to get more comfortable, but instead you feel his calloused fingertip press against your entrance.

“Oh,” You sigh in surprise as he slips into you, searching out your good spots by touch alone. When he slips a second finger in, angling himself right, you clench down on instinct. “Yeah,” You breathe, blinking up at him sleepily. He’s watching your face intently, and if you were even slightly more awake you’d be horrifically self conscious. “You got it right.”

You can’t remember the last time you were fingered as the entree of the sex, rather than the appetizer. It’s appallingly intimate to have Van’s face so close to yours, breathing in any noises you make and watching every slight expression change in the darkness of your room. You’re also appalled at how you’ve been completely robbed of his talents; he can sense exactly where you’re throbbing for him, your clit twitching against the pad of his thumb when he applies pressure right where your body has been screaming for it. It barely takes any time with his thumb working in tiny circles and his fingers pressing into you hard before you’re gasping for air, drowning under the waves of your orgasm that feels like it’s radiating from both areas, whimpering Van’s name helplessly.

As soon as you’re flinching from his touch he pulls his hand away, his fingers slipping into his mouth so he can clean them off.

“Holy shit.” Your lungs are still desperate for air, but you haul him in for a sloppy kiss, paying no attention to the taste of yourself on his tongue. “I’m gonna miss you.”

Van lets out a deep, throaty laugh at that, but you’re already pushing him backwards so that he’s laying flat. You’re way too sensitive for sex, but you jerk him off and let him come on the soft skin on the inside of your thighs, as a treat.

After you drop him off at the airport, both of you looking slightly disheveled due to having to rush to get ready, you sigh to yourself in the empty car. You hated how weak you were when it came to him. One minute you’re convincing yourself you need to stop hanging around him, and the next you’re telling yourself there is absolutely no way you can give up the best sex you’ve ever had.

It was quite the conundrum.

#summer's a knife #catfish and the bottlemen fanfiction #van mccann #catb #catb fic #vanfic #van mccann fic #van mccann fanfiction #Catfish and the Bottlemen

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hellomynameisbisexual · 4 years

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There are at least as many bi and pansexual people in the world as lesbians and gay men combined, at least according to surveys of western countries. But bisexuality is poorly understood - leaving bi and pansexual people feeling that their sexuality is invisible or invalid.

In Episode 1 of the new season of BANG!, people who are "attracted to more than one gender" share their experiences, and Dr Nikki Hayfield highlights some particularly damaging, often "biphobic", stereotypes.

To the outside world, Rose and Sam* look like any other straight couple. They're in their mid 20s, affectionate and obviously really into each other. The thing is, they're not straight.

Sam identifies as pansexual and Rose is bisexual. People define each of these sexualities in different ways, but for Sam pansexuality means that he's attracted to people irrespective of gender (as in, it's not important) and for Rose bisexuality means she's attracted to people "across the spectrum of genders".

For those shouting "but bi means two!", some people still use bisexuality to mean they're into just men and women, but others have broadened the definition as a response to the increase in trans identities and in resisting binary understandings of gender.

Both Sam and Rose came out in their early 20s, both had same-sex experiences and attractions in their teens and, initially, both put them down to teenaged "confusion" or "acting out".

As Sam tells me in this episode of BANG!, "Heterosexuality was expected of me and that's why it took quite a while to realise I wasn't that. It's why my parents still don't know [I'm pan]… I wouldn't be disowned or anything, but it would confirm that I'm the sort of black sheep, and that I'm less of a man in some way, and that doesn't feel good."

Rose grew up with an openly lesbian aunt; her family environment was welcoming of queerness. But she thought bisexuality meant 50 per cent attracted to men and 50 per cent attracted to women, and that the label didn't fit her because she's attracted to men more of the time.

That's until she turned 21 and stumbled across a Tumblr post.

"It said, 'you can be 70 per cent attracted to men, 30 per cent attracted to women' and I was like 'Oh! I think I could be not-straight then!'"

Soon after, Rose came out to her mum.

"When I told her… she was like 'Oh, I think I'm bi too!', I was like, 'What?! Why didn't you tell me! That would've really helped my coming out journey if you'd told me'," she laughs.

Rose's mum explained she had tried to come out as bi to some lesbian friends in the 1980s, but they told her she needed to "pick a side". This kind of discrimination from within queer circles makes bisexuals particularly vulnerable to social isolation, with many reporting that they feel "not straight enough" for straight circles and "not gay enough" for LGBTQ+ communities.

Rose and Sam are part of an open and supportive friend group, but even so - people close to them make incorrect assumptions about their sexualities because they are in a male/female relationship.

"We have had a friend who we know and love so much come up to us really drunk… and be like, 'You're just so straight! Look at you two!'... and I was like, 'No we're not!' It was sort of a funny situation but also… I don't think it's a funny joke to be like 'you're straight, haha!' Because you just don't know," she says.

Dr Nikki Hayfield is a senior lecturer at UWE Bristol, whose research explores bisexualities, pansexualities, asexualities, and LGBTQ+ sexualities generally. She's also bisexual herself.

"People do tend to take our relationships status as a signifier of our identity, and so it's much more difficult for bisexual people to be out about their sexuality, because their partner… doesn't indicate their sexuality in the way that it does for heterosexual people or for lesbians and gay men," she says.

"Bisexual people find that even if they've been explicitly out about their bisexuality, to say their friends and their family and their work colleagues, when they're in a relationship all of a sudden it's as if they didn't make that declaration of their bisexuality, and they find that people around them assume that they're 'gay now' or they're "straight now'."

Author and columnist Emily Writes was happily married to her husband when she came to terms with her attractions towards women. While her husband was incredibly supportive, coming out to some of her friends and family was trickier.

"A lot of people saw it as 'Are you getting a divorce then? Which I thought was really odd because that never crossed out minds… We have a really happy marriage and I don't see how that changes anything," says Emily.

As someone with a public profile, Emily copped the same social media flack as bisexual celebrities like Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus: That they are claiming queer sexualities as a marketing stunt. Another common biphobic trope.

"When I see somebody being like 'Oh now she's gay coz it's cool.' I just have this thing in my head where I'm like 'I've been gay! I've been gay! The whole time I was gay!' She says. "It's this thing around bisexuality or queerness, that people want you to perform it for them and if you don't then are you allowed to say that you're queer or bi?"

Here's why this stuff is so important:

- The Youth '12 survey, of 8,500 New Zealand secondary school students found young people who experience "both and same sex attraction" (gay, lesbian, bi and pansexual students were lumped together in this survey) are more likely to be bullied.

The majority of them had deliberately self-harmed. 18.3% had attempted suicide in the past year.

- Also - the proportion of them experiencing significant depressive symptoms has increased from 27 per cent in 2001 to 41.3 per cent in 2012. Opposite-sex attracted students had no significant change.

- Several overseas studies also suggest that bisexual people are at a higher risk for poor mental health outcomes than both straight and lesbian and gay people.

What can we do to help?

Sai, Charlie and Emma are students at Wellington High School who identify as pan and bisexual.

"Just normalise it. As much as you can," says Emma. "A lot of TV shows are having a lot of casual background queer characters and not making their queerness who they are… Let's hope it continues."

"I do think the term "it's just a phase' is so strange," Charlie says. "Because, if it is a phase why can't that person, like, live in that phase and be comfortable with that?"

"People are a lot more quick to shut it down the younger you are because they're like 'oh you don't know any better'," says Emma.

"It's just people with ideas about what things should be, having a go at people who don't fit their expectations, just like it happens with just your regular old homophobes," says Sai.

"I guess I just wish I had bi parents, then I'd know it was a thing. Or just bi people that are open and in my life,"

Rose, the bi woman in a relationship with pansexual Sam, has some good advice, too.

"Until I meet this new person coming into my friend's life, I'm not gonna presume what gender they're going to be, that's just putting my friend in a box... I kinda just assume everyone's bi unless they tell me otherwise."

* Rose and Sam are not their real names

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douchebagbrainwaves · 3 years

Text

WHY I'M SMARTER THAN UNDERGRADUATES

One of the cases he decided was brought by the owner of a food shop. Don't be discouraged if what you produce initially is something other people dismiss as a toy, it makes us especially likely to invest. Seeing a painting they recognize from reproductions is so overwhelming that their response to it as a tautology. There's nothing more valuable than an unmet need that is just becoming fixable. You have to show you're impressed with what you've made. Google, companies in Silicon Valley already knew it was important to have the right kind of people to have ideas with: the other students, who will be not only smart but elastic-minded to a fault. Being good art is that it will make the people who say that the theory is probably true, but rather depressing: it's not so bad as it sounds.

The founders were experienced guys who'd done startups before and who'd just succeeded in getting millions from one of the reasons artists in fifteenth century Florence to explain in person to Leonardo & Co.1 If Microsoft was the Empire, they were the Rebel Alliance. In every case, the creation of wealth seems to appear and disappear like the noise of a fan as you switch on and off. One often hears a policy criticized on the grounds that it would increase the income gap between rich and poor? Perhaps this tends to attract people who are bad at understanding. It would work on a moon base where we had to buy air by the liter. It seemed obvious that beauty, for example, as property in the way we do. It could be the reason they don't have to wait to be an adult.

The answer, I realized, is that my m. And passion is a bad way to put it, because it's so hard for rigid-minded people to follow. That's to be expected. An eloquent speaker or writer can give the impression of vanquishing an opponent merely by using forceful words. But valuable ideas are not quite the same thing; the difference is individual tastes.2 Don't talk about secondary matters at length. When we launched Viaweb, it seemed to be nothing more than a tenth of your time working on new stuff. Now a lot of people in the Valley is watching them. In either case you let yourself be defined by what they tell you to do.3

Of course, space aliens probably wouldn't find human faces engaging. Rebellion is almost as stupid as obedience. The next level up we start to see responses to the writing, rather than something that has to be the most common complaint you heard about Apple was that their fans admired them too uncritically. Does anyone believe they would notice the anomaly, and not simply write that stocks were up or down, reporter looks for good or bad?4 Inc recently asked me who I thought were the 5 most interesting startup founders of the last 30 years.5 Simplicity takes effort—genius, even. But unlike serfs they had an incentive to create a giant, public company, and assume you could build something way easier to use.

Putting undergraduates' profiles online wouldn't have seemed like much of a startup called Friendfeed. That would definitely happen if programmers started to use handhelds as development machines—if handhelds displaced laptops the way laptops displaced desktops. Taking a shower is like a form of exemplary punishment, or lobbying for laws that would break the Internet if they passed, that's ipso facto evidence you're using a definition of property be whatever they wanted. Back in the 90s. Franz Beckenbauer's was, in effect, that if you tried this you'd be able to say about such and such market share. The average person looks at it and thinks: how amazingly skillful.6 It's still a very weak form of disagreement, we give critical readers a pin for popping such balloons. If one blows up in your face, start another. Ten weeks is not much time. Everyone at Rehearsal Day. Merely being aware of them usually prevents them from working. If I could tell startups only ten sentences, this would be one of them.

What counts as property depends on what you mean by worth. It would have been. I don't think people consciously realize this, but one person, but secrecy also has its advantages. Honestly, Sam is, along with Steve Jobs, the founder I refer to most when I'm advising startups. It's also true that there are quite a few marketplaces out there that serve this same market. Obviously the world sucked, so why wouldn't they? There was not much point. There are always great ideas sitting right under our noses. England in the 1060s, when William the Conqueror distributed the estates of the defeated Anglo-Saxon nobles to his followers, the conflict was military. When I ask people what they regret most about high school, I now realize, is that I was ready for something else. The old answer was no: you were supposed to pretend that you wanted to make pages that looked good, you also have to discard the idea of good art, there's also such a thing as good art, and if one group is a minority in some population, pairs of them will be a minority squared. You have to show you're impressed with what you've made.

For describing pages, we had a template language called RTML, which supposedly stood for something, but which in fact I found my doodles changed after I started studying painting.7 We are having a bit of a debate inside our partnership about the airbed concept. It was thus subjective rather than objective. Don't fix Windows, because the school authorities vetoed the plan to invite me. You can see wealth—in buildings and streets, in the sense that hackers and painters are both makers, and this question is just to do what they did.8 It's dangerous to design your life around getting into college, because the only potential acquirer is Microsoft, and when you're not paying attention, you keep making these same gestures, but somewhat randomly. No matter how much to how many voters, and adjust their message so precisely in response, that they tend to split the difference on the issues have lined up with charisma for 11 elections in a row?

So is it meaningless to talk about it publicly till long afterward.9 The way Apple runs the App Store is full of half-baked applications. If I were talking to a roomful of people than you would in conversation.10 The problem is, it's hard to get the gold out of it. Where does wealth come from?11 You can demonstrate your respect for one another in more subtle ways.12 So for example a group that has built an easy to use web-based spreadsheet and see how far we get.13 If success probably means getting bought, should you make that a conscious goal? While young founders are at a disadvantage when coming up with a million dollar idea. I'd like to reply with another question: why do people think it's hard?

Notes

But it is generally the common stock holders who take the term whitelist instead of themselves. There's comparatively little from it. I couldn't convince Fred Wilson to fund them. I've come to you about it.

Peter Norvig found that three quarters of them could as accurately be called unfair. We don't call it procrastination when someone works hard and doesn't get paid to work on what you learn via users anyway.

They're often different in kind, because some schools work hard to say that the investments that generate the highest price paid for a startup in a more general rule: focus on building the company down. Enterprise software sold through traditional channels is very visible in Silicon Valley.

In many ways the New Deal was a kid that you'd want to get jobs. Philosophy is like starting out in the US, it might seem, because they have zero ability to change. If the rich paid high taxes? The two guys were Dan Bricklin and Bob Frankston.

Don't be evil. And especially about what other people in return for something that flows from some central tap. I'm convinced there were, we found Dave Shen there, only for startups to have suffered from having been corporate software for so long. I think investors currently err too far on the dollar.

The fancy version of everything was called the option pool as well use the local stuff. Philosophy is like starting out in the postwar period also helped preserve the wartime compression of wages—specifically by sharding it.

This is everyday life in general. So, can I make it easy. Believe it or not, under current US law, writing and visual design.

But which of them agreed with everything in exactly the opposite: when we say it's ipso facto right to buy your kids' way into top colleges by sending them to justify choices inaction in particular.

An influx of inexpensive but mediocre investors. Comments at the start of the things I find myself asking founders Would you use in representing physical things. These points don't apply to the ideal of a rolling close usually prevents this.

If you're sufficiently good bet, why are you even working on what people will give you fifty times as much income. When a lot of money around is never something people treat casually. No one writing a dictionary from scratch, rather than giving grants.

For similar reasons, avoid the topic. It's not only the leaves who suffer. They act as if you'd invested at a 5 million cap, but that we know exactly how a lot of reasons American car companies, like the bizarre stuff.

Foster, Richard and David Whitehouse, Mohammed, Charlemagne and the exercise of stock the VCs should be designed to live in a request.

Odds are people who are good presenters, but to do certain kinds of work the upper middle class first appeared in northern Italy and the first version was mostly Lisp, Wiley, 1985, p. So during the 2002-03 season was 2. Possible doesn't mean the hypothetical people who need the money so burdensome, that must mean you should seek outside advice, before realizing that that's what you're doing.

Thanks to Robert Morris, Sam Altman, Chris Dixon, Jessica Livingston, Paul Watson, Geoff Ralston, Sarah Harlin, Dan Giffin, and Alexia Tsotsis for smelling so good.

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nothinggold13 · 4 years

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Peter As Spring

An Explanation/Defense.

I’ve noticed that most people, when comparing the Pevensie children to the seasons, think of Lucy as Spring & Peter as Summer. And, with their reasoning, I can easily see how Lucy could be spring. She definitely embodies the youthfulness & hope & light & growth we associate with the season. But I cannot, for the life of me, see how Peter is summer; especially not when that means he is somehow more summery than Lucy is.

I mean, summer is HEAT. It’s sunlight and everything is deeply alive. It’s openness and freedom. And while Peter is kind, and warm, and wise, the qualities that make summer what it is are much more suited to Lucy. In fact, in the books, it is Lucy who - at the name of Aslan - “got the feeling you have when [...] it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer.” Lucy is already associated with summer.

But what makes Peter spring, specifically? [There is a TL;DR at the bottom if you don’t care for my rambling about my points.]

Often the focus is put on the latter half of spring; the part when everything begins blooming & it becomes warm. But where I’m from, spring is a fickle season. Spring is about the melting snow, long before it is about anything growing... and just because everything has become green does not mean it won’t snow again. So in my eyes, spring is not about warmth & blooming so much as it is about becoming warm, and new growth. It’s about the first shoots of hope pushing through the earth, not about a hope that is steady and strong. It is about the fear of cold, but coming up anyways; courage in spite of everything. It’s about letting go of your inhibitions or fear or complacency and letting yourself begin to bloom. Spring means something is beginning.

This is Peter.

He’s not hot-headed; he doesn’t lose his temper easily. He’s a warm person, sure, but summer isn’t just warmth; it’s heat. While Lucy is ready to fly off the handle often, especially in PC, Peter acts as a peacemaker. A mediator. Someone in between.

Peter does not believe in Narnia at first, but before he sees it, he becomes open to the idea, due to his conversation with Professor Kirke. While he may not yet believe, he is willing to let some light in.

Peter is known for showing courage even when he is afraid, and making himself do what is needed, even when he doesn’t want to: “[He] did not feel very brave; [...] but that made no difference to what he had to do.”

And yet, for all his growth in LWW, he still doubts & hesitates in PC. He doesn’t see Aslan when Lucy says he is there, though he still “stares his eyes sore” & hopes she is right. But it’s a fickle hope. He doesn’t hang his decision upon it.

I want to discuss a headcanon, now, which is that Peter struggles with mild depression, as well as how this further makes me associate Peter with spring. I will share a few quotes from various fanfictions I have written and explain their context here:

“Then when the cold made Peter feel frozen with fear and regret, he'd spend his time at home next to a roaring fire, which promised him that they would have spring again. After all, Peter always felt more like a king during the spring.” This is from the very first Narnia fanfiction I wrote, “Always Winter.” This moment cemented the symbolism in my head. Peter feels more like a king in spring, because that’s when he was crowned. Spring makes him feel light & young again. Spring allows him to breathe.

“It was one of the first flowers of the spring: the spring that conquered always-winter: the spring that conquered death. And in his mind, the primrose was a reminder of Aslan: of his strength, of his impossibility, and yet of his steadfastness. It was He, after all, who conquered winter. It was He who brought spring again.” In this fic, “Poppies & Primroses,” I once again considered Peter & his relationship with spring.

“In the daylight, with his friends and family close, he was happy. In the evening, surrounded by friendly conversation and high spirits, he was happy. In the spring, under beautiful skies and atop fresh grass, he was happy. Peter loved Narnia. He loved his people, and his country, and Aslan, and being a king. He had to be happy. How could he not be happy?” This fic, titled “Happier,” was written entirely about Peter’s depression. Like I said, I believe it’s a mild depression, and it comes and goes. Canonically, Edmund is “graver and quieter” than Peter, so we know Peter is not melancholy 24/7. But there is still a weight under that happiness, which will be read next.

“He blamed a lot of things, like his age, and his worries, and his memories, and battles, and wounds; and in a way he was right. But he didn't know that years of battles and bloodshed left scars he couldn't see. The insignificance came and went, as he gathered with family and friends, and as he prayed, to the point he sometimes wondered if he even felt it at all. But sometimes he still felt like nothing. Sometimes he felt like stone.” This, also from “Happier,” is where I introduced the depression specifically. Sometimes Peter felt heavy, for reasons he didn’t understand. (We don’t know enough about Peter during the Golden Age to say this cannot be true. So while it is definitely a headcanon, and thus not necessarily true to the books, I do believe it makes good sense for his character.)

“When Peter hit the floor of the spare room, he felt the change instantly: a weight gone, a cloud lifted. He assumed it came with his youth that he loved to move again, and that he never seemed to get tired the way he used to. He never felt nothingness again. The battle scars he'd received, and the facial hair he'd grown, had faded away on his journey out the wardrobe, and for quite a while he didn't realize that the illness in his mind had been erased, too.” THIS is where my headcanon differs from many others: yes, Peter struggled with mental illness, but it changed with the rest of him when he came back out of the wardrobe at the end of the Golden Age. (The reasoning for this is worth another post, probably. In essence, I believe Peter was meant to be in England more than Narnia - Magnificent King though he was. Obviously they all were, but Peter especially. Narnia helped him begin to grow, but he needed England more in the long run.) Although, I should mention that with a couple other headcanons I have running through my head now, I do believe it’s possible the depression returned when Peter was in his 20′s or so.

“For a moment, just a moment, Peter did not believe in ending worlds. He believed only that there would be spring again.” From “A Reflection of Closed Doors,” a fic which is very fundamental to my vision of Peter Pevensie. Once again I attribute the quote “we shall have spring again” to Peter. The fic also compares Peter to closed doors; the idea that he is always in between, and never fully where he wants to be. This fits with the idea that spring is the beginning (and yet also the ending), rather than being fully self-sufficient. It’s always either looking ahead or looking back.

“He didn't know whether she pretended, or whether her hope was genuine, but he wanted - needed - to believe it was the latter. [...] Wherever Peter's faith rested, hope had been built shakily on top of it, shifting with the wind, and sometimes blowing away completely.” This comes from “Lessons Never Learned,” which is largely from Peter’s perspective, but is centered around both he and Lucy. I suppose this isn’t necessarily evidence I’ve written of his depression, but it is about his heaviness & fickle hope.

“When Peter held Rhindon he was reminded of easier days. The sword was lighter than he remembered, but it was perfect for his hands. His childhood came back to him. For the first time in a long time, to be a king was to be a kid again. The magic began anew; a game and an adventure all at once; a renewed belief in heroes.” Also from “Lessons Never Learned,” this goes along with the quote from “Happier” about him finding his light again after leaving Narnia at the end of LWW. Even when he goes back in PC, he is lighter than he used to be, and that’s important. He is able to grow again, now that, so to speak, the snow has melted.

“But kings rarely begin and end with a single conquest; battle follows battle when the world is new and the winter still looms overhead. Over time Peter lost that faith that he would make it home, in fact, he began to expect the opposite. And worse than that, it wasn’t long until he didn’t fear it.” This is from an unpublished fic, which I kind of like, but also worry is too morbid. That being said, it definitely drives home the idea that Peter is depressed. I do not believe he wants to die, by any means. But, at his lowest, he also feels passive about it. Peter fully expects to die in battle, and this thought doesn’t bother him... at least, not much.

The point of those examples is that I believe Peter is constantly moving in and out of the symbolic “cold” or “winter.” Peter does not always feel warm and alive and joyful and free. He often feels heavy. He also NEEDS hope more than the others do, in his way. He often feels hopeless, but he seeks it desperately.

TL;DR -- Spring represents fickleness, both retreating cold & growing warmth, new bursts of life and hope, becoming rather than being, and beautiful new beginnings. Peter has hope but doubts it, often feels “cold” but moves towards the light, acts with courage even when he does not feel brave, and is always growing in life, hope, faith, joy, bravery, and wisdom. Peter is always finding new beginnings. Peter is spring.

#narnia #the chronicles of narnia #narnia headcanon #peter pevensie #someone on ig asked for my reasoning #guess what #I've got a heck ton of reasoning

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medea10 · 4 years

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My Review of Fruits Basket: 2nd Season

It’s really happening! It’s fucking happening! The never-before animated story to one of the best shoujo series in the 21st century is finally happening!

HISTORY: Just read my long-ass review for that.

Okay, okay!

Tohru Honda stumbles upon the family secret of her classmate, Yuki Sohma when she moves in the Sohma household. Whenever a member of the Sohma family is hugged by a member of the opposite sex, they turn into an animal from the Chinese Zodiac. Because of this, the Sohma family is very secretive about this issue and only let close people in on the family secret. And even then, it rarely happens! But after a lifetime of worry and hell these members have been put through, they learned that Tohru cares about each and every one of them. She was able to bring out the sun for many of these characters who have suffered a lifetime of ridicule, pain, and isolation.

SEASON TWO: It’s the start of summer and many things around Tohru, Yuki, and Kyo are changing. For Yuki, it means taking over the student council full-time, as his seniors will be graduating in the spring. And for one Sohma family member, she’s made it her mission to lift the curse that has plagued the Sohma’s for generations. This season is filled with the cute and fluffy moments it’s known for where characters are having fun. But then you remember this is Fruits Basket and the cute and fluffy moments are shrouded in pain and misery.

And when you have an unstable character like Akito, people are going to be hurt. With the addition of several characters, we do detour from time-to-time for stories about them instead of following Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru. But many of these characters have some sort of connection to the main cast. With the introduction of Rin, we see the desperation in finding a way to rid the Sohmas of the zodiac curse. The student council members introduced this season helped Yuki come out of his shell even further. And the introduction of the final zodiac Kureno gave us possible hope for Tohru and a possible love interest with someone you probably didn’t see coming.

LICENSING: Thank you FUNimation. Thank you for once again taking the helm by licensing it and putting in the delicate care the mangaka went in to creating it! And also thank you for not being greedy dickholes and letting Crunchyroll and Hulu air it too. Anyways, the cast from the previous season have returned to do their respectable roles in both the English and Japanese cast. It’s just that due to the Coronavirus outbreak, the dub wasn’t as frequent as it was last year so I spent a good chunk just sticking to the original Japanese audio.

NEW CHARACTERS: In the final episode of season one, we were quickly introduced to several new characters who are going to make a big splash this time around. Just a reminder, there are only two zodiac members that were never introduced until this very moment. But there are several characters, who may not be part of the Sohma clan, but are a big part of the story and to several main characters.

First, I would like to introduce Kakeru Manabe and Machi Kuragi. They will now serve under Yuki as Student Council Vice President and Treasurer. They’re also half-siblings (same father, different mothers). Now by no means are these two ever going to be let-in on the Sohma family secret like Tohru, but they definitely make a big impact on Yuki’s life as Yuki seems comfortable enough to have one-on-ones with Kakeru and share common themes with Machi.

Isuzu (or Rin) is a Sohma with long, black hair. She is the horse of the zodiac curse. She doesn’t let a lot of people in her corner and usually only confides in either Hiro or her boyfriend, Hatsuharu. A lifetime of family issues and Akito being a cunt has something to do with it. Rin’s mission is to find a way to break the curse set on her and the rest of the Sohmas. But after an altercation with Akito, Rin has taken it upon herself to become a lone wo-, um horse in this mission.

Kureno is the final zodiac member to be introduced. And if you haven’t guessed, he is the rooster! Kureno is usually never seen by anyone in the Sohma family due to the fact that Akito keeps him on a short leash. But once Kureno was able to step away from Akito’s side, he finds comfort in one of Tohru’s friends.

I’m familiar with many of these voice actors they’ve added to these new characters. The only one I was surprised at came from Aki Toyosaki playing Rin. I think it’s just leftover questioning after hearing her voice these cutesy, moe characters (blame K-ON for that one). But Rin’s voice isn’t bad.

As for the dub, thank you FUNimation for bringing Aaron Dismuke back to the Fruits Basket family. If you’ve been following Fruits Basket from the very beginning, you might recall him being the original voice of Hiro Sohma. But since he was quite a young child when voicing Hiro, that voice he carried at the time wasn’t going to stay forever. Puberty happens! Aside all that needless info, I really liked his Kakeru! I’m digging Ian Sinclair as Kureno. I spent a full-on decade imagining who would voice him. And back in the day, I always thought Micah Solusod or Vic Mignogna would do him justice. But once 2019 happened…

*crosses off a name on a list*

…Yeah, Micah Solusod would do his voice justice, just him, no one else! But Ian Sinclair is awesome in nearly every thing he’s in and this is fine by me. Brina Palencia as Rin…eh, I mean she always plays characters who are monotone or serious. I’m not bashing it, but it was a predictable role for her. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Kakeru is played by Takuya Eguchi (known for Cheren on Pokemon BW, Takeo on My Love Story, Ryouma on Love Stage, Kujo on Gosick, Watanuki on Inu x Boku SS, and Fumiya on Domestic Girlfriend)

*Machi is played by Ai Kakuma (known for Misaka Worst on Index III, Rossweisse on High School DxD, Lala on Monster Musume, and Hato on Genshike Nidaime)

*Rin is played by Aki Toyosaki (known for Uiharu on Railgun/Index, Yui on K-ON, Suu on Shugo Chara, Satsuki on Maid-sama, Momo on To Love Ru, Chitose on Yuru Yuri, and Aoi on Beelzebub)

*Kureno is played by Yuichiro Umehara (known for Gorou on Darling in the Franxx, Mars on Black Clover, and Goblin Slayer)

ENGLISH CAST: *Kakeru is played by Aaron Dismuke (known for Al on FMA, Hiro on Fruits Basket, Young Hohenheim on FMA: Brotherhood, Van on Escaflowne [redub], Marx on Black Clover, and Takami on Deadman Wonderland)

*Machi is played by Caitlin Glass (known for Winry on FMA, Haruhi on Ouran HSHC, Maki on Love Live, Miria on Baccano, Petra on Attack on Titan, Evergreen on Fairy Tail, and Kirigiri on Danganronpa)

*Rin is played by Brina Palencia (known for Nina on FMA, Ciel on Black Butler, Yuno on Mirai Nikki, Saten on Railgun/Index, Juvia on Fairy Tail, Touka on Tokyo Ghoul, Holo on Spice & Wolf, and Chopper on One Piece)

*Kureno is played by Ian Sinclair (known for Whis on DB Super, Bard on Black Butler, Sousuke on Free!, Chuck on Panty & Stocking, Magna on Black Clover, Brook on One Piece, and Space Dandy)

SHIPPING PART II:

I still know who everyone ends up with and I’m doing my darndest to keep my mouth shut and not let out a decade-old spoiler. So let’s get some crap over with!

*Yuki x Motoko: Yeah, remember Motoko? That Yuki-obsessed chick who literally can’t breathe without the boy in her life! Well, first episode of the season, we get an episode featuring her once more. Because Motoko is one year older, she faces the harsh reality of graduating a year before Yuki and is pretty depressed over that. Not only that, but she's still super jealous that Yuki spends so much time with Tohru. But it gets a little deeper when she noticed that Yuki has changed as he’s smiling a lot more (and those smiles are not fake this time). She so wanted to be the woman in his life to make him smile like that. But Motoko’s probably just going to admire him from a distance. Oh and she still finds time to harass and/or threaten any foreign girl that hangs around Yuki’s aura.

*Ayame x Mine: I almost forgot to talk about this one. Probably because we really only got one episode to show the slightest ship hint from them. Mine has got to be the only female on earth who is able to handle Ayame’s wacky behavior 24/7. Then again, Mine has a few quirks herself. But both of them find that they can confide in each other. Here’s the thing with this one, it is unknown if Mine actually knows about the family curse up to this point. And if they are really in a relationship, Akito hasn’t given her “blessing”. I don’t know, maybe everyone in the family thought it would be best to not pry into Ayame’s private life for many valid reasons.

*Hatsuharu x Rin: So these two were actually in a (secret) relationship. Secret for obvious reasons! They knew the consequences after what Akito has done to Hatori and Kisa for being loved. In this season, we see how much these two really care for each other. Rin is so desperate in finding a way to rid Hatsuharu and everyone else of the zodiac curse that she’ll pursue it by any means necessary. And when she dumped Hatsuharu, this devastation built up pretty big until it burst in the destruction of a classroom. Hatsuharu can be very laid-back, but the break-up really devastated him. Later this season, we do get the development of this ship. Hatsuharu is one of the few people in Rin’s inner circle she was able to rely on and this blossomed into both of them confessing their love. And even sleeping with each other! Yep, Fruits Basket gave us a sex scene! However, Akito found out and Rin took the blame for everything.

…And Akito gave her blessing by shoving Rin off the second story.

Akito’s blessings really should come with an advisory.

Advisory: DON’T ASK AKITO FOR HER BLESSINGS!

*Hatori x Mayu: If you’re wondering who Mayu is, that is Tohru’s homeroom teacher. She surprisingly has some history with Shigure, Hatori, and Kana. First of all, Mayu is best friends with Kana. When Kana was dating Hatori, Mayu started to get these feelings and she ended up dating Shigure (seriously, bad choice). But she knew like the rest of us that Shigure is distant, sneaky, and you just can’t trust him. But Mayu was the only one to cry for Hatori’s sake. Mayu does hold out hope for one day going out with Hatori. Five, ten years, however long it takes!

*Kureno x Uo: The one time Kureno was allowed to escape from Akito’s grasp and he enjoys the company of Tohru’s best friend Uotani. When I first read this in the manga, I thought this was absolutely random, but cute nevertheless. And after watching their small time together, I yearned for there to be more time for Kureno and Uo to be together…but you know it’s not possible because you know the real deal. I mean, Kureno has spent the majority of his life as Akito’s personal bitch. After that one episode, Kureno has remained on the Sohma estate and Uo has wanted to see him again. So much so that she quit her part-time job where she first met Kureno because she feels like she’ll never see him again! Thing is Kureno promised to stay by Akito’s side after a really big revelation happened (stay tuned). Kureno is like the only Sohma that is able to cast his shackles aside and be with someone he loves. And Uo is the first person he’s ever truly felt that about!

No…I’m not going to mention that OTHER ship just yet. I get upset just even thinking about it.

*sniffles*

Just let the little bird fly and be free already.

*Kyo x Kagura: I probably should have covered this in the first season. But I was too focused on the sad ship and cute ship. Anyways, it’s well known that Kagura loves Kyo. REALLY LOVES HIM! But after Tohru moved in, Kagura slowly learned that Kyo has changed because of Tohru and knows that Kyo might not like Kagura that way. In the 11th episode, we get a moving storyline where Kagura goes on a date with Kyo and we learn a little more into why Kagura began to like Kyo. Kagura pitied Kyo as a child since he was the unfortunate child cursed under the cat. It made her feel better about her own sad fate of being cursed under the boar. But she still played with him until she accidentally took off Kyo’s rosary beads that revealed the demonic cat curse. By this time in the story, it’s absolutely cemented with Kyo that he’s in love with someone else and is ready to tell Kagura that he will never love her. But that doesn’t stop Kagura from telling Kyo that she loves him.

*Yuki x Machi: Unlike all the other girls in school, Machi doesn’t see Yuki as a prince. She sees clearly through his fake smile that he gives off all the time. At least that was her thought at the beginning of the series! Machi has been pretty quiet and kept to herself whenever at the student council. No one even knows what her favorite foods and colors are! Truth is, Machi doesn’t know either. But it wasn’t until a simple (and I do mean simple) gift from Yuki that Machi changed a little bit! This ship didn’t get much action until near the end of this season where the student council met up for some lunch. This was the first time we saw Machi act all tsundere around Yuki when he noticed she held onto the gift he gave her.

It was a leaf. He gave her a friggin’ leaf. And then she turned it into a bookmark.

*Tohru x Yuki: Sigh. He kissed her on the forehead and cried. Moving on! She’s not even friend-zoned. She’s MOM-zoned! Tohru is the mother that Yuki turns to because Yuki’s mother is an uncaring cunt. I know who Yuki really ends up with in the end, but if you ask me, I prefer Yuki x Kakeru.

Don’t at me, I love seeing these two together! Okay, final shipping for the category.

*Tohru x Kyo: There is no doubt that Kyo and Yuki have changed for the better since meeting Tohru. Both of them felt that there was no hope and only self-isolation in their life. In Kyo’s case, he knew early on that his life was fucked. His mother committed suicide, his father abandons him, the Sohma family shuns him, and once he reaches a certain age, he faces a lifetime of being locked in confinement. So Tohru’s kindness and persistence has definitely done wonders for the boy. Romance, wise? Let’s just say that things were almost said at the beach. And we get a realization from Kyo that Tohru is precious to him. His precious!

Oh, there is ONE certain ship I feel I should mention. However, it’s still too much of a shock for people to take in. So I will wait for the final season to let it rip.

HORRIBLE PARENTS: The original series only scraped the surface of how horrible the Sohma parents truly are. I could have done my worst parents/mothers/fathers list with at least half of these people. But the original series never showed us the ugliness when it came to Yuki’s mother, Kyo’s father, and queen of the bitches, Ren Sohma. Bitch, I will see you in season three! Thankfully, we’ve got at least one or two nice parents like Hiro and Kagura’s mothers.

Before I bring up the worst this series had to offer, can we just talk about how precious this woman is? Hiro’s mother loved rams and was very happy when Hiro was born. Hiro’s mother is just so precious for this series. She loves her son and even loves Kisa. It’s adorable! As for Kagura’s mother, even with Kagura’s aggressive personality, her mother is quite supportive of her daughter and even Rin. So let’s go down this rap-sheet of the worst ones!

Kyo’s father was never able to forgive his own son for “causing the death of his wife”. He even refuses to call Kyo by name, he only refers to Kyo as “It” or “That Creature”. Thank God we have Kazuma to replace this dick. I know Kazuma’s hands aren’t clean either, but he has treated Kyo like the son he never had. More than what I can say about this fucker!

Yuki’s mother did some unpleasant things to her son. For starters, selling Yuki to Akito for her to do whatever she wanted with him. Because the rat in the zodiac was the first to arrive, it is said that the rat is closest to the god. This gave Yuki’s mother the opportunity to have Yuki deal with Akito’s scary tantrums and scar him for years. Ayame doesn’t have anything pleasant to say about his own mother either. Last I recall, she’s quite cold to Ayame as well. She’s a cold, uncaring witch.

Ah shit, here we go again! Momiji’s father! Yes, that very same father who told Momiji that his mother’s memories of him had to be wiped away in order for her to get better. We see him once again taking away more from Momiji because his daughter Momo is catching on. In an episode, Momiji is told that he should give up playing the violin. Why the fuck for? Well, Momo’s getting music lessons from Momiji’s teacher and feels these two should not meet or even cross paths. And of course, his father isn’t too keen about Momiji coming to his office so he can watch the family he sacrificed so his mother could be saved. This boy just can’t catch a break and I still want to hug my little bunny-kins.

Rin gets panic attacks spontaneously due to her parent’s physical abuse and abandonment. Rin’s home life was okay until one question sparked years of abuse. Because Rin caught on to her parent’s fake smiles, they showed who they really were. Rin hid her abuse until she passed out from so much pain that she had to be checked into the hospital. It was there that Kazuma and a young Hatsuharu learned she was being beaten by her parents. And what do the parents do? Abandon her then and there at the hospital!

Kakeru and Machi aren’t a part of the Sohma family, but that doesn’t stop the fact that they have a messed up home life. Kakeru and Machi are half-siblings (same father, different mothers). Kakeru was an illegitimate child, but was the elder sibling (+ male), so is a prime candidate to be his father’s heir. And both of their mothers fought over who would be the heir to their father’s fortune in the future, putting endless stress on Kakeru and Machi. As a kid, Kakeru would have spontaneous panic attacks because of the stress his mother put him under. While Kakeru was able to tell off his mother and she begrudgingly accepted it, Machi’s mother still puts pressure on her to a point where Machi just does what she’s told and has infrequent bouts of panic attacks.

Oh, there’s another parent worth mentioning. But the final season will take care of that one. I know you’re expecting me to say something about Ren Sohma (Akito’s mother). Problem is, she only had one line in this whole season. I could say there was a scene where her name was mentioned at Akito and Akito went a little berserk. But that’s all I can say here.

SADDEST MOMENT OF THIS SEASON: Hands down, anything involving sweet, little Momiji is going to hurt. Granted, this doesn’t hurt as much as the backstory between him and his mother. But when we get the episode of Momiji’s sister Momo spying on Momiji playing the violin, it’s like a knife to the chest. You want these two to see each other, but it’ll trigger some unhappiness with the family. Momiji sacrificed a butt-ton just for his mother to recover. Momo knows that Momiji exists, she just doesn’t know that Momiji is her brother.

So what does Momo do?

Ask Tohru to ask Momiji to be her big brother.

Ouch. Ow, Fruits Basket! I know this scene hurt when I read it, but it nearly killed me in animation. God and Momiji’s crying. I want to hug him so much.

EVERYONE’S FATE: In this season, we hit the asphault when it’s revealed that Kyo made an ultimatum with Akito. If Kyo is able to beat Yuki in a fight before the two of them graduate high school, he will obtain his freedom and avoid a lifetime being caged (like the previous cat). As this clock ticks, Kyo knows he doesn’t have much time left before he spends the rest of his life sealed away.

And it isn’t just Kyo! All the other zodiacs are destined to live on Akito’s estate so that Akito can have her delusional “eternal banquet”. So of course, Akito feels threatened that Tohru has such a hold on almost all of the Sohmas. That’s why Rin wants to free everyone from this curse and a little later once she learns about this, Tohru wants to do the same.

THE HAT: Remember the hat that seems out of place for Tohru to have? An old, dusty hat that doesn’t match anything! It was mentioned briefly in the original series and expaneded a bit in the first season. This season gives us a little surprise in the form of the hat connecting to Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru.

The hat originally belonged to Kyo. When they were children, Yuki tried to talk to Kyo and it turned into Kyo yelling at Yuki because he’s the rat of the zodiac. And as the story goes, the rat lies to the cat about the banquet and the cat is left out. A lot of the zodiacs were always sour at Yuki growing up. Moving on! Kyo’s hat fell and Yuki never returned it to him. Yuki once wore the hat on his head and ran away from the Sohma estate. It was at that time he came across a lost, little girl (Tohru). Yuki lead Tohru back home and puts the hat on her head as he leaves from her sight. And that’s the tale of that mystery hat you might have seen prior.

Oh, there’s another connection with Kyo…yeah, you guessed it. Third season! Wait for it.

ENDING TO SEASON TWO: So this season seems to be getting 25 episodes as well. That means if the final season only has 13 episodes that would equal up to 63 episodes in total. And that would make Eric Vale’s comments in a video a year ago correct. Eric Vale is bad with spoilers, isn’t he?

Anyways, this season has given us a lot to mull over. We get new characters that have no connection to the Sohma family, but has a big impact with Yuki that he changes for the better. We finally get to see the two zodiacs that have never made their debut until now. And the backstory of Tohru with the out-of-place hat as a child is settled. Inching closer to the second season finale, we get some cute and semi-impactful stories around the school. Tohru and Kyo were in a class production of Cinderella where Kyo finds out Tohru knows what’s going to happen after graduation when she accidentally blurts out the wrong thing on stage. Then we have Yuki opening up more to his student council members (especially Kakeru) and long-time holdout Machi opening up and becoming a blushing girl like many her age.

Well folks, it’s New Years and time for another zodiac banquet. And Yuki was feeling a sense of weight being lifted from his shoulders. He was going to make a change with his life by not blaming others for his problems. So Akito gives her blessing by…

You should know by now that when I say that, it’s not going to end well.

Let’s just say, hearing Yuki say those words, Akito started to recall a time with Kureno that really struck a cord. I’ll get to it in a second. Akito struck Yuki in the face with a blunt instrument and thankfully he did not end up blind like Hatori. Akito had yet another psychotic outburst that resulted in one of the Sohmas being hurt. And you have to wonder why Akito is this evil, twisted soul that hurts her family physically and mentally. Hatori permanently loses the sight in one of his eyes and still forgives Akito. Kureno stays by Akito’s side no matter what she did to him.

In the final episode, we get quite a few revelations exposed (especially for Tohru). The play, Tohru, Hana, Uo, and Kyo were in was videotaped and Momiji gave a copy to Kureno. Let’s just say that Uo sent her own secret message of wanting to see a certain someone again. Kureno was conflicted that he wanted to reach out and talk to Tohru. When Tohru met with Kureno, she came upon some startling discoveries about the man possessed by the rooster zodiac (or bird).

When walking towards birds, they flew away from him. If you recall, many animals are drawn to the zodiacs (i.e. cats to Kyo, rats to Yuki, etc.). But with Kureno, they all just flew away! And finally, Kureno walked right up to Tohru, hugged her, and he didn’t transform.

Kureno has been curse-free for several years. Actually, since he was in high school and dude is in his 20’s currently. It’s unknown why only he was released from the curse and everybody else still transforms. Kureno kept it from everyone in the Sohma household (even though Shigure was suspicious for a while). And when the curse lifted from Kureno, he felt as though he could finally fly free (irony is that he can no longer “fly” being a zodiac bird). Problem is that Akito had a mental breakdown when she saw Kureno was free from the curse and she screamed at him to stay and never leave her side. This was actually the one time Akito didn’t hit or injure someone during one of these fits, so this felt very different.

And because of Kureno’s decision to stay by Akito’s side, he feels he can no longer see Uo. Even though, he really feels a connection towards her despite only seeing her two times. This was his first actual love! And then, Tohru learned another bombshell.

Actually, this bombshell isn’t as huge as it was years ago.

You see, up until this point in the manga it was hard to decipher what gender Akito was. In the original anime ALL of Akito’s voice actors (even in Japanese) were male. Yes, including when Akito was a child. Aaron Dismuke was everywhere 15 years ago. But then a chapter from the manga came out where Kureno clearly tells Tohru (who had no idea at the time) that Akito was female. So, for hardcore fans such as myself, this wasn’t so much of a bombshell. Although I forgot Tohru didn’t know about Akito’s true gender. New fans to the anime, it might’ve caused great impact. Anyways, the second season ends on that note.

Come on Fruits Basket, you announced another season on my birthday last year. Surely you can give me something to go on for my birthday this year.

OH HELL YEAH!

This totally…doesn’t make up for RBG dying over my birthday weekend, but it’s a start!

Aside from ONE episode, this season was totally brand-spanking new, never-before seen in anime form. And it was satisfying to watch many of these moments I thought were going to remain on the printed page forever finally in animation. This season gave us the good and the bad. We’ll have those light and funny moments that Fruits Basket was notorious for. Tohru visiting Ayame’s clothing store, Yuki’s class taking a trip, and the Cinderella storyline. But then you get all the heavy stuff like Akito coming to see Tohru at the beach house, Rin’s backstory, Kureno’s reveal, and Momiji’s sister wanting to know more about him. Every Momiji episode hurts me! Momo is too precious for this world and she just wants to know her secret onii-chan.

Now some people might think the lineup of these episodes and story is a bit sloppy with how it’s listed. Well, that’s how most of it was in the manga, just go with the flow. I mean, yeah, I’d agree with you there and maybe if this series were one continuous anime with no breaks, you’d get no complaints there. But whatever, you can’t please everyone on everything. This season gave us more character development from these characters. Kyo, while still an angry kitty from time to time has really matured a bit. He doesn’t fly off the handle to fight Yuki every day like you’d see in season one. Yuki was able to realize many aspects of his life and grow from there. Hatori was able to move on from Kana. Ayame learned to be a better big brother…though he’s still a yutz.

Shigure is NOT to be trusted!

I know some people have been saying that since season one and I feel it’s well worth repeating. And it’ll get worse next season, believe me! The only character I was disappointed in by not seeing that much of was Ritsu. But as I recall, Ritsu doesn’t get that much action in the second year arc. I’m so happy to hear the original dub (most of them anyways) with this new material that they’ve never done before for these characters. And I’m hoping to ride this train going into 2021. I love this story and I can’t wait for the final season.

Yes, watch this. Watch the first season too! Hell, watch the original series, it’s not out of print yet!

All of the episodes are available to watch on FUNimation, Crunchyroll, and Hulu. The dub is available through FUNimation only. And if you want to watch the original anime (w/o the new story), Hulu still has it available.

#anime review #Fruits Basket #fruits basket 2nd season #Tohru Honda #kyo sohma #Yuki Sohma #hiro sohma #hatori sohma #kagura sohma #kakeru manabe #machi kuragi #rin sohma #akito sohma #ayame sohma #shigure sohma #momiji sohma #kureno sohma #arisa uotani

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katsidhe · 4 years

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either of the classic spn religion themed episodes 'faith' or 'houses of holy' idk they're some of my faves all around

2.13 Final Thoughts

This was GOING to be brief. Well, not anymore.

Sam wants an angel. Oops, careful what you wish for.

The “angel” special effects in this episode look a lot better than the awful “true form” effect we got in s14. It’s just a really, really bright light with a vaguely human silhouette–but it works, both because it contrasts so blindingly with the dark grunge of s2, and because it’s formless enough to let us wonder.

It’s interesting to me that Father Gregory’s ghost was actively targeting TWO victims with each of his strikes: both the killer and the kill-ee. He was clearly powerful enough to force some serious compulsions; there isn’t really a reason he couldn’t have inspired suicides instead of murders.

The people the ghost targets as killers seem to have a similar profile: people hopeless, impoverished, or otherwise downtrodden. He chooses a hooker and a local drunk–people who, from Father Gregory’s perspective, are of questionable value to society, and people who were also seeking some kind of escape or higher meaning. He gives them that higher meaning in an incredibly cruel way, by condemning them to decades in prison or a locked ward.

Of course, Gregory also chooses Sam Winchester. How much of this was because Sam seemed superfluous, a drifter without value? Or was it just because Sam fit the psychological profile: someone desperate to hear a higher call?

Dean has another one of those common early seasons moments where he claims to be the authority on his mother’s psychology. Uh-huh. “Mary used an idiom about angels in front of her four year old” —> “Mary had faith” ok Dean. It’s another in the set of emotions and principles Dean thinks of as soft or high-minded or safe: things he classifies, without examination, as belonging to the unattainable, flawless, secure life lost with Mary’s death. Things Dean generally thinks of as dangerously or selfishly indulgent.

Okay, so the obviously discussion-worthy thing in this episode is the difference between Sam and Dean’s approaches to the question of faith. This is the episode where we learn that Sam prays, and that he wants to believe in some greater good.

Sam’s faith is often cited as evidence of his tendency towards hopefulness/seeing the good in the world but… eh. Especially in this episode, it feels more like evidence of something more depressing. Sam’s reason for desperately hoping there’s a benevolent higher power is categorically not out of a fundamental belief in life’s goodness, but rather the opposite—it’s because most of his life is filled with evil and loneliness and uncertainty, and it’s difficult for small victories or small pleasures to make much of a dent in that temperament.

Let’s talk Dean’s skepticism. Dean is skeptical specifically of things he cannot see and has not experienced. He puts his faith in things that are overpoweringly tangible–the central pillar of his faith is his family and his family’s fight, not any kind of higher principle. The larger world is too far removed to have meaning: what matters is his family and his mission.

Let’s talk Sam’s faith. I can see a young Sam starting the habit of prayer in a combination of quiet rebellion and desperation. When Sam says he wants something more, he means something beyond hunting—he wants some greater paradigm that will let him put this behind him. His demon-y future, yes, but also the claustrophobic obsession he grew up with. (Sam never met their mother–obedience to the cult of her sacrifice requires faith from him too, of a sort much less palatable to him.)

Sam’s faith is also a way to try to externalize his mission and his decisions, due to a deep discomfort with and suspicion of his internal self. In s2, this suspicion is still nebulous, but it’s definitely present; as seasons pass, especially s4, Sam gains all sorts of concrete evidence for distrusting himself.

Setting 2.13 as the baseline, I’d say there are three major faith watersheds in SPN: 1) 4.01 = angels are very much real; 2) 11.20 = God is very much real; 3) 14.20 = God is real but he’s very much more of a douchebag than previously suspected. In general, at these turning points, I’d say that Dean is more ready to update his picture of the universe without changing it much, and without wondering if he’s wrong about other significant things; Sam is more ready to let the new information color his broader view, and more suspicious that he’s not getting the full story.

So, who’s the cynic, who’s the idealist? Who’s the hardbitten skeptic and who’s too naive? I think the answer is more complex. Sam’s faith evinces a deep skepticism in both his family model and the harsh world he’s grown up seeing. Similarly, Dean’s skepticism betrays his inflexibility in accepting any challenge to his deeply held beliefs.

#i speaks #2.13 #final thoughts #sam and faith #dean and faith #dean and mary #Dean isn't as skeptical as he'd like to think #Anonymous

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impalementation · 4 years

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I think your take on Doublemeat Palace is interesting because to me it's emblematic of all the things that make Season 6 (particularly the back half after "Tabula Rasa") not work for me. It's relentlessly grim and unpleasant and I can feel the writers twisting the plot to make sure every character is as miserable as possible. I'm not opposed to seeing protagonists in a low point or even outright failing. Season 3 of Game of Thrones is some of my favorite TV ever. (1/2)

(2/2) But at a certain point the grim and gritty, if it's not well written, and broken up with some moments of lightness (like Buffy was previously known for) the audience gets numb. It also doesn't help that no one has any agency. (Magicrack, the not!wedding, Dawn doing zip) Again, I'm not opposed to dark plotlines. I'm opposed to incompetent writing.I don't think you can call an episode or an arc "objectively" good if it doesn't work for the majority of the audience it's been written for.

you know, i’m going to disagree about the “grim and gritty” thing. doublemeat palace actually stands out to me as being really funny. and for having a lowkey positive ending. true, the episode is about the soul-sucking prospect of having to do the same dreary work every day. it’s about how much it sometimes sucks to work, which is why you have willow dealing with the fact that recovery is a difficult thing that you have to decide to commit to every day, xander and anya facing the fact that marriage is also a lifelong daily commitment, and buffy taking an unpleasant and mechanical job in order to put food on the table (and the episode plays up that the managers have been doing it for five or ten years). but like, names like “manny the manager”? the weirdo robotic people? the exaggerated camera angles? the swirling cow and chicken? buffy’s constant attempts at jokes? “hot delicious human flesh”? a little old lady with penis monster on her head? this stuff is totally absurdist. i think of doublemeat palace as almost the opposite of episodes like once more with feeling and tabula rasa, where things superficially seem fun but are actually quite dark. doublemeat palace seems superficially unpleasant but actually has a wicked sense of humor. and i say that the ending is positive because it involves both willow and buffy committing to doing work. they’re faced with the opportunity to “cheat” at life like the trio, who steal money instead of having jobs, but ultimately decide to do the right thing. willow doesn’t accept amy’s magic and buffy doesn’t blackmail the company.

that goes for a lot of season six, in my opinion. even late season six. people say there was less humor, and i think that’s true to an extent, but honestly i think it’s more that the tone of the humor changed. it got more sardonic and absurd, but was definitely still there. eg people think of seeing red as the episode where the two Very Bad Things happened, but outside of those scenes a lot of the episode is like, fascinatingly (to me) slapstick (the whole jetpack bonanza? “say goodnight bitch” “goodnight, bitch”). and has that really lovely conversation between buffy and xander at the end. in general, i think a lot more season six episodes have positive endings than it gets a reputation for. i already mentioned the ending of doublemeat palace. but the end of gone has buffy saying she doesn’t want to die, the end of older and far away has buffy deciding to stay home with dawn, the end of as you were has buffy deciding to break up with spike, and the end of grave has buffy, willow, and spike all making important changes for the better. as in, season six can be very dark, yes. but i would not call it a hopeless or cynical kind of dark. it’s about the characters clawing their way out of that dark place. not just a statement that “adulthood sucks.” you can argue that the season didn’t pull off its attempts at lightness, but i very much think they’re there.

at any rate, i agree to an extent that if a work of art isn’t working on most people, that’s probably a sign it’s doing something wrong. but i’d offer the counterpoint that you might also say that if a work of art really works on some people, even if not everyone, it’s probably doing something right. as far as the season as a whole goes, i’d actually take issue, on a basic factual level, with the claim that it didn’t work on the majority of people. not to validate IMDB’s ratings for buffy’s episodes, but it does have an n=~2000 sample size and if you average out the ratings by season, season six doesn’t rank starkly lower than any other season. it’s on the less popular side, but it still hovers around an 8.0 average like most of the other seasons. moreover if you go by the big r/buffy polls (n=~120-310), season six ranks in the top three favorite seasons every year they did one (2011: 3 > 6 > 2, 2012: 6 = 3 > 5, 2013: 6 > 3 > 5, 2014: 3 > 6 > 5, 2017: 5 > 3 > 6). you can see the data for yourself if you scroll down to where it says “surveys”. perfectly possible that there’s data that paints a totally different picture. this is just what i had on hand. that ranking also doesn’t mean the majority of people liked the season, but it does act as evidence that there are a lot of people whom it really worked on. basically, i wouldn’t say that season six is disliked so much as it’s divisive. people seem to either love it or hate it. with a smaller percentage that likes it, but for whom it isn’t a favorite. or who appreciate what it was trying to do but don’t think that it succeeded.

as far as doublemeat palace goes i notice a similar phenomenon. people either really hate it or they really relate to it. either they think the style is bizarre and annoying or they think it’s delightfully surreal. so it really seems like it’s up to the individual whether they want to lend more credence to one audience reaction or another in order to assess quality.

which is why i tend to use my own rubric. when i ask myself whether something is good or bad, i pay a lot of attention to (1) is the work trying to do or say something specific? (2) how unusual or challenging or astute is the thing the work is saying? (3) how coherently is it doing that, and on how many different levels? (4) on a formal level—dialogue, cinematography, costuming, acting, pacing—how fluently was it executed, and how well did the formal choices contribute to the ideas in (1)?

for the record, i don’t think that doublemeat palace is the best episode ever. i just think it’s solid, and fits nicely into what i think the season as a whole was doing. but the reason i say that it’s “objectively” solid according to my personal rubric—which granted, you’re more than welcome to not share—is that (1) it has a pretty clear idea that it’s exploring. the drudgery of work stuff that i mentioned in the first paragraph. moreover i think that idea is really relevant to the season-long topic of “what makes it feel like adulthood sucks”. buffy having to take a menial food job fits into the season’s food motif that i talked about once, which in turn fits character-wise with buffy’s ambivalence about being alive. a somewhat grotesque/humiliating job fits with the mood of material existence being unpleasant. (also, xander impulsively chowing down on food speaks to him probably not being ready for commitment) (2) i think this whole subject was just hella daring for the show to do. having been a poor and suicidally depressed 22 year old in a fucked up sexual relationship while working a menial job, season six and episodes like doublemeat palace just ring true to me as something for a show about growing up to depict. sometimes real life really is a grind, and sometimes it really does feel profane, absurd, surreal, etc. (3) i really like the way that buffy, willow, and xander and anya’s stories all fit the theme of episode but in different ways. i wouldn’t say the episode is a super nuanced take on drudgery, but it does have layers thanks to the three different storylines, and it comes off as clearly conscious and oriented around its theme. there are other parallels like amy, spike, and halfrek each being influences, too. (4) there’s some cool formal execution. not all of it. willow’s story, like a lot of her mid-season-six arc, is kind of tediously on-the-nose. but i enjoy pretty much every second of buffy’s part of the episode, because the direction is so in control of it. and i like the absurdist and genre-conscious playfulness. the soylent green riff, etc.

i also disagree on your assessment of agency in the season but this post is long enough as it is. regardless, i certainly don’t begrudge you your opinion. it’s an often clumsy season. it also sounds like we enjoy things in different ways--i genuinely don’t care too much about writers contorting things in the interest of theme. i’m mainly trying to push against the implications (1) that the season was obviously just trying to be dark and grim, and just for it’s own sake or something. instead of for deliberate and interconnected artistic reasons that one could analyze and talk about, and (2) that there is some monolithic opinion on and response to it.

#s6 #sigh i tried to add a tag and the read more got messed up #man tumblr code is fucked #fyi people are welcome to respond to this but i probably don't have more bandwidth to respond back #also if it wasn't clear from like 70% of this blog i adore season six and it means a lot to me #so at a certain point 'why season six is bad' discourse just kind of makes me sad #even if i respect why people think that and agree with various criticisms

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