#but in sports it is probably not fair for them to compete because they are male in reproductive sex and in phenotype.

[spiderfreedom]

not gonna effortpost about this today because I gotta get work done but real short

I notice this argument being used all the time: "you can't make a definition of 'woman' that does not exclude some people that we call women. therefore, the only good definition for 'women' that includes all people we call woman is 'people who identify as woman.'"

and the thing is, philosophically, "you can't make a definition of {thing} that does not exclude some examples we also call {thing}" is something that applies to almost every category! it's literally a whole philosophical problem of "what is the definition of a chair?" didn't we have a whole meme about how nobody can even agree on what a sandwich is?

it's not something unique to women, tables, horses, sandwiches, salads, or anything else. it is a problem of language itself.

you can apply the exact same argument to other categories: "how do you define 'blackness' without excluding some people we call 'black'?" if you're american, maybe you will use the one-drop rule, in which case halsey is black and anyone who had a single black ancestor four generations ago. but is that actually how we use the word black? does that capture something meaningful about being black in america? how about being black in the world?

let's go further: "how do you define 'transgender' without excluding some people we call 'transgender'?" within the transgender community, there is no real agreement on what it means to be transgender! beyond a vague sense of "identifying as the gender society assigned to you", but even that can be challenged. if a cis (female) woman takes testosterone, starts hanging around trans women, calling herself a trans woman, is confused for a trans woman by the people that she talks to, experiences oppression on the basis of being perceived as a trans woman... can she be considered a trans woman, despite being female?

ultimately "how do you define things" is a philosophy of language question more than anything else. perfect definitions that encapsulate sets neatly do not exist, because the terms we use are socially contingent. when people came up with the word 'table', they didn't also create a logically rigorous definition for it. they just said 'well, this thing here is a table.' and then people argue about the edge cases. because also, nobody actually agrees on the members of sets of every single word!! just like how we all have different ideas of what is and isn't a sandwich!

that's the other thing, people already disagree about what words refer to. someone who has the 5ARD intersex condition has testes but may be raised and socialized as girl because their parents think their genitals kinda look like a vulva. is this person a 'girl/woman'? people are not sure... which makes sense... because it is an edge case. is a stool a chair? is a hotdog a sandwich? is an open sandwich a sandwich? the further you get from the 'prototype', the more people are going to be disagree.

so the entire question 'what is a woman' is just an exercise in confusing philosophy of language framed as saying something very meaningful about the social category of woman. it is not! it is a problem of language that we cannot define 'woman' or 'chair' or 'salad' or 'horse' or 'gamer' in a rigorous way. it is nothing inherent to women, chairs, salads, horses, or gamers.

(but what about science?) good question, what about science? science tries to operate differently from the way laypeople talk about things. scientists take common words, like 'energy', and give them different, more rigorous definitions in order to try to figure something out about the world. for laypeople, 'energy' is something vague and diffuse. for physicists, 'energy' is the force that causes things to move, and its behavior is described by certain mathematical models.

similarly, laypeople may take 'woman' to mean 'a person with breasts and vulva/vagina', but a biologist may have a more rigorous definition of 'female': 'producing large gametes.' this is useful because it helps us see commonalities between creatures that may look really different, like flowers, bedbugs, asparaguses, cats, and humans - all very different creatures where sex looks different, but still have a distinction between 'producing large gametes' and 'producing small gametes' - there's no intermediate gamete. biologists have a different word for what people/animals look like, and that is 'phenotype.' when a parent looks at a child with 5ARD condition, they see the child has no visible penis and thus 'looks 'looks female.' a biologist would say that the child's sex is male (because they have the reproductive equipment to produce sperm, and none of the reproductive equipment to produce ova) but that their phenotype is ambiguous. sex is a binary variable, but human development is a long process where are a lot can happen, and so sexual phenotypes are not variable.

so already we're pretty far from the lay definition, because laypeople don't have the same idea of what sex is as scientists do, and don't distinguish between someone's sex and their appearance - for them, the sex is the appearance. who is right? it depends on what you want to do. scientists want to discover meaningful things about nature, and their definitions are far more useful than the layperson's for that purpose. which definitions are useful is also socially determined - we may feel sympathy for the child with 5ARD, told they were a girl their whole life, but who learns that they have testes. should we continue to treat this child as a girl/woman, or should we encourage them to view themselves as a boy/man? that is a social, cultural, legal argument, not a scientific one. the biological truth is the same regardless of the social, cultural, legal arguments, but there may be a compelling case to act differently. that's on us as humans to decide!

so yeah I'm just tired of hearing the same damn arguments over and over again. "what is a woman? is someone with CAIS a woman? is someone with 5ARD? what if we take a young non-intersex male and give them female hormones?" like this will never take us to where we want to go because it's a philosophy of language question disguised as a scientific one. the real question is, what are we talking about and which definitions will help us in that? if you believe that female people are exploited on the basis of their female bodily functions, then obviously you want to bring attention to that by using the word 'female'! if you want to focus on feminine socialization, then it may be useful to bring up cases of people who may not technically be female but were still raised as them, like Erika/Erik Schinegger, a male (possibly with 5ARD) who was raised as a girl and believed he was a girl for most of his youth.

trying to make a single catchy response to a question of what is 'x' is never going to satisfy everyone, because it cannot, because language is imperfect and real life is messy. scientists try to cut nature at the joints, but their cuts may not look like laypeople's! (and don't get me started on scientists disagreeing on what is a joint and what is not, metaphorically.)

and at its worst, when chasing an ironclad definition, you get bizarre answers that seem detached from reality, like saying 'people with CAIS condition are genotypically male and have underdeveloped testes, so we should treat them as males'. they may be reproductive males, but they have a female phenotype, and are raised as girls, and are literally unreceptive to testosterone - to treat them as 'men' on the basis of developmental or reproductive sex certainly seems to be missing something very important from the picture! see below: a person with Complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome (CAIS):

does it really make sense to say this person is a man due to her having testes, which technically makes her reproductively male? is that capturing reality? or are you trying to force reality to fit into your definition because you're afraid that if you cannot create a perfect definition of 'woman', that we will never be able to talk about biology and female oppression?

tl;dr: questions like 'what is a woman' are designed to be time-wasters because they are not actually answerable because language sucks. argue for your operative definition, your context, and move on. and don't be afraid to change definitions based on the context... sometimes reproductive sex is relevant, sometimes phenotype is more important, sometimes socialization is more relevant. this is not weakness, it's recognizing that reality is not so rigid and sometimes you must use a different model to get the understanding you want.

#feminism #radical feminism #mypost #stop wasting your time... being dogmatic to any definition always results in weird outcomes #i don't think this weakens the radical feminist case at all #sometimes looking like a woman (have a female phenotype) is more relevant than one's reproductive sex #sometimes one's reproductive sex is quite important #5ARD people go through a normal male puberty for example and if they get a surgery they can also reproduce using their sperm #many 5ARD ppl identify as women bc of their socialization. and in some spaces that makes a lot of sense! #but in sports it is probably not fair for them to compete because they are male in reproductive sex and in phenotype. #recognizing complexity will not hurt us; it will make our case stronger and fuller and richer #justice for all requires dealing with the edge cases and not just defining them away #if you care about intersex women then you need to get used to thinking about this sorta thing #because it is very common for intersex kids to be raised as female despite being reproductively male #it's a space requiring nuance. care. compassion. and thoughtfulness. #philosophy of language

[trumpkinhotboy]

i think it’s an unofficial wolfpack tradition to gather for a Wii tournament on rainy days (and this is how I imagine it would go)

I feel like Paul and Jared would compete like craaaaaaaaazy, to a point where it would be really bad. Except that you’re also very competitive, and RIDICULOUSLY GOOD at Wii games. It is your greatest pleasure to kick their asses.

Quil would probably be a little clueless about some of the games, but he'd turn out to be pretty good at them. Which infuriates Paul and Jared lol. Plus, he's fun to play with since he's not a sore loser. A little muffin thrown in by Emily, and he'd be back to his carefree self.

Embry wouldn’t be all that interested in playing. Instead, he loves betting on everyone. He would create this elaborate system, organizing every tournament, keeping scores, all the good stuff. At first, you thought he was forcing himself because he wasn't enjoying himself. Once you realized he genuinely was, you let him have his fun in peace.

Seth would be the goofball, always joking and lifting everyone's mood. He would also have a secret talent for Mario Kart and bowling on the Wii. No one. I mean no one, can beat him. Which again, infuriates the two competitive ghouls and, let's admit it, even yourself. Whenever he got tired of Jared and Paul's attitude, you would let him lay on your lap while you played with his hair until he dozed off.

Sam would probably be in the kitchen trying to help Emily, even though he's not talented in the culinary arts. What can I say, he loves to be around her. A few times, you’d all scream for Sam and Emily to come play. They would both be pretty bad, but they were good sports about it. As the official parents of the group, they loved to hear everyone laugh at their silly mistakes.

Jacob also loves to play, but he is the BIGGEST, SORREST loser on EARTH. Paul and Jared get intense, but they can appreciate when someone wins fair and square and show their domination (sigh, of course). When Jake realizes he’s about to lose, he gets angrier by the second. You would nudge him on the shoulder when that happened, give him a big hug and feed him some sweets until he stopped sulking. The guys told you he only keeps acting that way so you continue taking care of him. You usually laugh it off and accuse them of being jealous little babies, but you never notice the smirk Jake addresses them after.

Leah adores making fun of him for it, both that he lost and that he's faking being upset because of you. They usually have at least one fight every time. After awhile you realized it was a waste of time to try and stop it. Better let them fight so everyone else could have a turn while they were at it. Leah is also the incontestable winner. She is the BEST at EVERY game (except bowling and mario kart, damned Seth). On your first tournament, you realized that for some reason, she had never played, but aced every game. Finishing either first or second in every round. She is respected by every player.

Game day tournaments usually end up with big pizzas shared between everyone and a movie where you all cuddle up on the couch in one big pile of human (ish) bodies.

And those usually are the best days.

#ilya writes #ilya thinks #ilya’s opinion #twilight wolfpack #twilight imagines #twilight fic #twilight au #twilight #jacob black #seth clearwater #leah clearwater #sam uley #paul lahote #quil ateara #jared twilight #embry call

[throwaway-yandere]

Blind Obedience (Yandere!Ayato/Reader)

unreliable synopsis: ayato tries to ask reader out but fails lol.

afab reader

cw: yandere themes: possessive behavior. drugging & power imbalance. non-consensual touching.

a/n: as always i dont fricking condone this crap it's for entertainment purposes. please seek help if you are in a similar situation in real life

Continuation

--------------------------------------

Your job as one of the Yashiro Commissioner, Kamisato Ayato's, "official" retainers is unnecessarily glamorized by your family. In all honesty, it is far less honorable than what they make it out to be. Then again, that's probably because you haven't come home in a while so there's nothing for them to brag about.

Fetching umbrellas, handing paperwork, managing schedules, delivering lunches– your work is duller than what the ninjas go through. Your job is essentially to be the bodyguard on display beside Lord Kamisato. Occasionally you fight alongside him but that is few and far in between when the man is plenty competent. There were nights when you felt your sword was wasted in serving Ayato. Your blade dulls whenever you open an umbrella for your Lord, but you seem to forget about it the second you see him smile.

Free time is not a finite resource either. You and Thoma joke that you might as well be Ayato's second housekeeper with all the extra domestic work you volunteer. Oftentimes Thoma insinuates that you act less of a retainer and more of the commissioner's spouse, but you just found the notion demeaning and crossed the line. Your relationship is strictly business, and Thoma knows that.

Today is a rare occasion where you perform your duties in public. You stood beside Ayato with a blade at your hip. This time, Thoma was walking behind Ayaka instead of chatting the day away with you.

In all honesty, the scene looked like the Kamisato siblings were just taking their dogs out for a walk.

"Greetings Lord and Lady Kamisato. What brings you to this humble abode? Please accept my apologies. If I heard that you would be my guests this evening I would've been more hospitable. After all, I'm sure you've heard, but I am not bound to a land of my own."

The man tilted his hat up to meet your gaze.

Kaedehara Kazuha: one of the last living remnants of his fallen clan. You've had a chance to meet thrice before, and you found his company quite comforting. Each encounter was memorable. You both ended up talking for hours regarding haikus and other artistic endeavors without a care for the clock. He was like your key to connecting with nature with the way he plays his tunes, and you loved every second of it.

Kazuha doesn't appear to have been moved by time. The only things that changed were his height and the Sandogasa his head had been sporting– a motif that showed his feet had never stayed in one place too long.

It's comforting to know that he stands before you when everything around him and his family vanished into the wind.

His sandals imprinted the sand as he walked toward your group. He closed his eyes, feeling the air.

"Lord Kamisato, you still smell like morning dew. Yet, is this the scent of red ginseng I sense?"

Red ginseng? The anti-oxidant?

Ayato cleared his throat, a faint blush dusting his cheeks. He doesn't appear pleased by that comment.

"There is no need to be modest, Lord Kaedehara." Ayato smiled. "We are here to see how you are fairing after all. I am compelled to feel as though it is my duty to support you whenever we can."

"Hmm, I see," Kazuha smiled, slightly fanning a stray leaf to his face. "But I highly doubt that is the end of it. The wind whispers to me... and I have reasons to believe that you are not here only to seek out answers regarding my well-being, is that right?"

Ayato nodded.

"My apologies. I'm not well-versed in the art of small talk. Shall I head straight to the point?"

"I'd appreciate it, so long as you stop referring to me as a Lord." Kazuha sighed. "I never became one and I don't have plans to."

"Mister Kaedehara, my brother has a few requests he would like to make," Ayaka raised her hand. "It has everything to do with your ancestor's blacksmithing techniques."

"Oh," Kazuha opened his mouth, surprised. "So you're here for Haran? I see."

The wind blew against the yumemiru trees.

"In that case," Kazuha looked at you and smiled. "May I have a word with Lady Kamisato and Miss (Y/n) in exchange?"

Ayato's eyes narrowed.

"Why (Y/n)?"

You stared at Ayato.

"I figured I can gauge how worthy you are through the Shirasagi Himegimi's retainer," Kazuha said. Ayato barely held back a scoff.

"She's mine."

You wish you saw the expression on your lord's face. His voice did not betray any emotion besides conviction.

No one spoke for a while. You saw Thoma from the corner of your eye opening his mouth before shutting it.

"Well, that speaks volumes," Kazuha laughed softly.

"A shame. She would be a better fit to serve Lady Kamisato."

You, Ayaka, and Thoma nearly reacted inappropriately at his boldness. Such a frank stance was not a common attribute of Kazuha's flowery speech. Things are not going favorably. He may be a bit eccentric, but the Kamisato Clan cannot afford to miss this opportunity.

You spoke up. "I would be fine with the arrangement as long as Lord and Lady Kamisato is alright with it."

Ayato raised an eyebrow. "It is not about whether or not you will be fine with it–"

"My brother and I agree with this arrangement as well," Ayaka said. Ayato no longer objected after her intervention. She smiled softly.

"It's a pleasant day for a walk, wouldn't you agree, Mister Kaedehara? There's a pleasant breeze and glorious sunshine. So, where shall we head off?"

------

Ayaka was right when she mentioned that the wind will be pleasant at this time of day. Opting to avoid any of her brother's ears, she chose an area with no walls to eavesdrop from. The beach in Ritou offers crashing waves and distant sounds of unruly children, perfect for background noises.

"Did you truly ask for (Y/n) to know more about my brother?" Ayaka pulled out a fan and covered her lips. Even so, it did not hide a mischievous glint in her eyes. She seems to know more than you, considering how Kazuha flushed red.

"Why does my presence matter so much?" You joked.

Kazuha laughed. "Is it hard to believe?"

"Well, after you told us I'd be better off serving Lady Ayaka," You shrugged. "Sort of."

"It's the truth, though," he said. "I think you'd be better off as Lady Kamisato's retainer, especially with your talents."

Ayaka nodded. Your eyes widened. Lady Kamisato thought you're competent enough to work for her?

"I… Didn't know you felt that way My Lady"

"Work with Lord Kamisato may be as constant as flowing water, but drinking from that stream will be akin to sleep to the freezing, especially in your case, (L/n)," Kazuha added. There is subtle stress in his tone. One you didn't quite understand at the time.

"... I didn't understand a word you just said but it sounded like a lèse-majesté just now."

Kazuha didn't understand that Fontaine term. "Let's just say I have some reservations."

"Towards the Kamisato Clan?" Ayaka asked.

"No," Kazuha said. "I have no qualms with you and your connections, Shirasagi Himegimi."

"Are you seeking redemption for your Clan?"

"Oh, you'd be wrong to assume that," Kazuha smiled softly "I doubt I'd need what my Clan had in store for me even if I did revive it. We were but a subordinate clan to the Kamisatos, after all. Plus, I relish the freedom I have today."

"Then why hesitate?" You asked.

Kazuha answered without missing a beat.

"Because Loyalty does not equate to Blind Obedience."

--------

After that rough start, the conversation went by smoothly when Ayaka boasted about her brother's repertoire. Although both Ayaka and Kazuha did most of the talking, you were more than satisfied. You did your actual job. Not one of a housekeeper. A sense of pride coursed through your body each time passing children looked at your sword in awe. It's childish, but you missed those silly boosts of confidence. Truly makes you feel like you earned your rice and salary.

As it happens, Kazuha didn't ask for your company just to learn more about Ayato alone either. You can't help but smile when recalling your chat with him after Ayaka left.

But it's not the time nor place to be giddy. Quite frankly, it's a bit embarrassing to grin about your private life when your boss walks beside you.

"Escorting my Lady and Mister Kaedehara went by without a hitch," you reported. "It's all just things you've heard before, My Lord. How you are skilled with multiple weapons in your arsenal and the like."

"Then why the smile?"

…

"Pardon me, My Lord?"

"You were smiling non-stop when you came back." He said nonchalantly. "What else were you three talking about?"

"O-Oh. My apologies, Lord Kamisato. In truth, the conversation also got lively and we took turns talking about our experiences with poetry writing."

You cleared your throat, cheeks flushed over the two's previous remarks earlier. "Though, i-it's nothing important."

You're an awful liar.

"Hmm. You seem to have enjoyed being in their company a lot. Do you forget where your loyalties lie?" Ayato teased, but his eyes do not match the playfulness of his tone.

"Of course not my lord. I DID enjoy their company, but my loyalties lie forever with the Kamisato Clan."

"For someone who claims equal loyalty, you seemed as if you favor Ayaka's presence the most."

"Well," you coughed awkwardly. "She is a very cooperative and an easy person to get along with, My Lord."

In other words, Ayato is the troublesome sibling in your eyes.

Ayato paused. As usual, his expression was unreadable.

In truth, Ayato was seething the moment he saw you return to the area with hands playing with your hair, talking so unreservedly with the Kaedehara vagabond.

He closed his eyes while wearing a plagiarized smile. You had worked for him three months earlier than Thoma, yet your loyalties waver more than his. What had caused it to do so? The dilemma is sending the Kamisato Clan Head's mind into a manic frenzy.

Kazuha's comment stuck with him. Ayato admits, with your resume you are far more useful to his sister than himself. His sister is surely aware of that. Your eye for aesthetics and crafts could serve to help Ayaka's workload.

But he needs you more than Ayaka needs you. It's selfish, but if his sister were to come to his room tonight to negotiate, he would drown her voice out with the paperwork. Ayato adores his sister, and she's likely the only person who can convince him to stop.

Was he not enough? What happened and why is your smile more downright mesmerizing than before? It makes him want to pull his hair right out of his scalp. What did Ayaka and Kaedehara Kazuha discuss with you to get you to blush as red as a maple leaf?

You hadn't uttered a single word– why are you staring at him with visible confusion?

His chest ached. Had he been a lesser man, he knew that his hands would've been on her shoulders, screaming to rile up an answer from you.

Ayato sighed exasperatedly. He can't do that. No matter how high he rises into power, the oath he shared with his father weighs more than these unsavory emotions. Besides, he believed he is far more tasteful than the feral beast he imagined himself to be. Be that as it may, just because he is an elegant man does not mean he is free from these feral fantasies. He does admit that the thought of intimidating you into submitting to him, and him alone, was incredibly tempting. Especially when he is painfully aware that you are both alone with not one of his ninjas and or servants, save for yourself, in the vicinity.

------

"What do you live for, (L/n)?"

A sword slithered under your jaw, still and calculated as it slowly poked upwards and drew blood. However, you did not falter. You remind yourself that your Lord gets a kick out of seeing people squirm. You gazed up to your lord's eyes and gave a small untroubled smile.

"I live to serve, my Lord." 

"And who is it that you serve?"

"The Kamisato Clan," you said. "And the Kamisato Clan alone."

"Good," he sheathed his sword back and ruffled your hair. Ayato looked relieved. "Good girl."

You didn't say a word. You continued to kneel. It wasn't until the next morning when you finally stood up under Lady Kamisato's orders.

You're a dog, yes. But you are the Kamisato Clan's dog.

-------

Now that he recalled who (L/n) (Y/n) truly belongs, the box weighed like jade steel in his pocket.

"Must I truly share you with my sister?" He muttered. "With the rest of the clan?"

You did not hear the words he mumbled behind his sleeves. Even if you had, you doubt you would've understood the connotations behind his pained musings.

"I'm sorry My Lord, may I ask for you to repeat that?"

"Think nothing of it," Ayato said. "It's just a throwaway comment. (Y/n), let us move. We have far more pressing matters to attend to."

You flipped the next page of his schedule. Ayato couldn't help but smile when he saw your face scrunched over reading it. "The pressing matters of your... Tea time with (Y/n), My Lord?– Wait hol'up, I thought I had the evening off?"

Ayato cracked up a smile. He always found it endearing whenever you break out of your retainer persona.

"Yes, well, now that you have your evening off," Ayato reached his hand out. "Would you like to have tea with me, (Y/n)? Of course, I'm inviting you as Ayato, and not the commissioner so take it easy. I bought only the finest and most creative snacks."

He did not miss how your positive expression was deterred by the word "creative". This was Kamisato Ayato, after all. It is part of his perverse desires to awe at the sight of his opponents and most beloved ones squirm at his little schemes.

"A-Actually, My Lord." You coughed behind your fist, "My sincerest apologies, but I must decline. I have an... event to attend to."

"Oh."

Something inside his head cracked.

Another alarming sign. Just a few hours after mentioning that you prefer his sister's company over his, you added more salt to his wound by prioritizing someone else over him? After he planned for this date weeks prior with his packed schedule? Of course– you wouldn't be aware that this was a date all along, he can't be bothered to scare you of what this event officially was in his head, but it burned as much as hearing you reject his (unspoken) confession.

And here he thought the only thing left getting in the way was his sister. Laughable.

"If I may ask, what could you be possibly doing at these late hours, my beloved?"

You scoffed.

Was it that hard to believe that you have plans for the evening?

Well, yes, it was.

"My beloved?" You copied incredulously.

Ayato opened his mouth to digress, but you seemed to shrug it off easily. Too easily.

If he found it difficult to believe you were busy, you found it just as difficult to think he was ever genuine with his affections towards you.

"I don't know what's gotten into you today, Ayato." You said. "But if you MUST know, someone asked me out. On a real date."

He can tell. Kamisato Ayato is not an idiot. He just chose to ignore the signs. But it hurts to hear you say it so unashamedly proud.

"With who?"

"Well, aren't you unusually nosy today?" You laughed.

"It is not worthy of your concern, My Lord– Come to think of it... I heard Madarame isn't busy right now, and last time we talked, he said he hadn't tasted Tomoki's creative cooking before!" You beamed. "Of course, he made me promise not to tell our Lord Kamisato Ayato that, and won't you look at that, I'm talking to myself again! Oh dear, I should stop before SOMEONE hears me. I don't want to break a promise, after all!~"

Had it been any other day, he would've gladly taken this innocent bait.

His gaze softened.

"Hmm. Yes. Very noble of you, (Y/n). I sure hope nobody important heard a word of what you just said." He answered playfully.

"Hmm hmm!" You nodded along. "It would be a real shame if something unfortunate happened to our dear Representative after all!"

"Yes– Since we do not wish for anything bad to happen to our dear Madarame," Ayato placed a hand on your shoulder. His touch was light, but it weighed heavy on your shoulder.

You know him so well. He smirked.

But not enough.

"Tell me, (Y/n), will you not 'take one for the team' and accompany your eccentric Lord Kamisato Ayato this evening instead?"

"A-Ayato..." You gritted your teeth while smiling widely. He too had a fake smile on his face as he awaited your response. "It would be rude to keep my date waiting."

"I'll send Hisashi to tell whoever your obviously-non-existent date is that you can't afford to come then," Ayato said. You stiffened. "Do not lie to me. We both know you use my workload as an excuse to avoid family gatherings."

"Well. Damn." You laughed humourlessly. "Is that why Hisashi isn't with us? Did you send him off to track my date down?"

As it happens, that mind of yours is a double-edged sword.

You looked over his shoulder. Normally, Hisashi would make his presence known to you by waving slightly. Your smile fell. Thankfully he is not on duty that evening, which leads you to assume something disappointing. It was a bluff, but you didn't know that. Instead, you thought Ayato sent him to stalk your date moments prior. This is funny for someone who accused you of dating a fictional person.

"So, I was right," You muttered. "My Lord– Do you not trust me?"

Ayato's fingers slowly wrapped themselves around your shoulders.

"More precisely, I don't trust whoever this date of yours is," he said. "After all, we are not free from the Fatui's watchful eyes."

"It's just Kazuha."

He paused.

"Just... Kazuha?"

Since when were you two on a first-name basis?

Not knowing how to register his tone, you nodded with a "comforting" smile. "Yes. He asked me to accompany him to Inazuma City today. Is there a problem with that, My Lord?"

Ayato bit his cheek. It appears that an unwanted guest has been sniffing around his possessions. To have the audacity to proclaim he smelled like ginseng and to steal (Y/n) twice this evening, he's surely trying to challenge the commissioner.

"Cancel it."

"Excuse me?"

"Cancel your plans."

"My Lord I–"

"I cleared my entire schedule for your birthday and when you were ill to personally tend to your fever last month, did I not?"

Ayato deadpanned, causing you to shiver. There was a clear-cut venom laced in his voice that you were rarely subjected to. The way he said it made it seem like you owe him your affections, and partly that would be correct. Despite his offer of spending the evening with you as Ayato, your friend, the way he speaks now is reminiscent of Kamisato Ayato, the head of the Shuumatsuban Operations. This is his way of keeping you on your toes by calling you a spoiled brat without explicit mention.

Who are you to question your master's wishes?

"This is the least you could do for me in return."

You didn't dare look at his eyes.

"... Of course, My Lord."

------------

As expected, your Lord's fingertips whisked you away to Komore Teahouse.

Beforehand, Ayato walked alongside you as you sheepishly informed Kazuha of your cancelation. He didn't look disappointed nor angry. Instead, the wandering samurai's expression resembled more of fear and pity.

Kazuha wanted to say more, but Ayato was quick to steer you away. He ordered you to wait at the teahouse with specific orders of not peeking inside the hot pots until he came back. Ayato mentioned something about Kazuha's friend in Tenshukaku but you didn't get the rest of the details before Ayato shooed you away. You begrudgingly agreed and left.

"Ah, welcome back Lord K– Ayato."

He didn't reply.

Ayato immediately sat down. Not in front of you, but beside you. He opened the pots and placed the lids elsewhere. The commissioner started pouring two cups of red liquid by your side, being uncannily quiet as he does so.

"... Ayato?"

"Why did you accept?"

"Accept what?"

"Kaehara's offer." Ayato refused to face you. He slipped the first cup closer to you and you reluctantly grabbed it.

"He's a good honest man." You blatantly told him.

"And I'm not?!"

You both went silent after that outburst. You couldn't quite tell if he was joking since it was so out of character. It was very unusual that you nearly chuckled, but refrained once you saw his look of defeat.

That was real.

"Why... What?–..." Ayato laughed cheaply. Of course, he's far from an honest man. He had been branded the dirty name of a politician a long time ago.

You didn't know what to make of his behavior. Lord Kamisato is a bit strange– his oftentimes possessive actions came from a place of healthy skepticism. His work is deprived of loyalty and attachment, so you provided nothing else but that.

The Kamisato Clan still holds the leash to your collar.

"(Y/n)."

"Yes, Ayato?"

"Would you–..." He sighed. "Do you prefer working with my sister over me?"

"No."

It's a shame that you're an awful liar.

You grabbed the cup he prepared for you before his hand ghosted above it.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course my Lord."

He lets go.

You took a sip. The drink was surprisingly a bit mellow. Bitter, yes, but there must've been loads of sugar to compensate. Still, it was strange. Is this ginseng?

You waited for Ayato for quite a long time. You were sure this drink will be lukewarm at best.

Why does it feel so warm?

"If you want to prove your loyalties," Ayato circled his cup. The red drink swirled as he stared directly at its vortex.

"Why aren't you obeying me?"

"M-my... L-lord..."

Drops of water fell down your thighs. Did you push off your cup? You can't tell. Something's flowing from your mouth.

It's your saliva.

Have you ever drooled this much before? Why are you drooling?

Heavy. Your head is heavy.

Ayato sits before you like a blob or hydro slime– you barely make out what words he spoke. Everything is warm. Something pressed your cheek and neck. Like a warm blanket covering your form.

Ayato stood up and slowly walked past you. You tried grabbing his ghostly sleeves but your dwindling strength failed you. Whatever you drank stripped most of your voice away, no matter how loud you cried, no coherent sentence came out.

You thought he had left you to wallow in your own self-pity until you felt ice on your chest.

"There..." Ayato whispered above your ear. His voice made you tremble between his arms as he dipped his head down the crook of your neck.

"You look even more breathtaking, my beloved. Do you like the necklace?"

You only figured out what he chained you with by the time you woke up used and filthy. It was a thin rosegold necklace with a hydro vision pendant inspired by his own. And you can't take it off, lest you want your fingers littered with water slices.

"Hel... Aya..."

"Hmm?"

Now that he's this close, you realized just how long his eyelashes are. His voice brushed against your neck. You cringed. Was there a box on top of the table before?

"Ah, I fear I may have overdone just how much ginseng I should add. Not to worry, it wouldn't impair your speech too long. You can tell me how much you appreciate it later."

"Aya..." Your willpower is latching on to the small chance that you'll be able to scream.

"Aya...ka..."

His fingers dug a few centimeters deeper down your throat. You coughed up. Ayato froze.

"Oh, my sincerest apologies." From the tone of his voice, it was far from that. Yet something tells you that he did not mean to squeeze your throat either.

His gloved thumb gently wiped your lips. "I slipped up. Do you want more to drink?"

"Ngh..."

Warm. So warm.

This sickness-- it was all too familiar.

You're almost certain you had this strange fever a month ago.

Ayato's grin did not change, but the revelation darkened your perspective. That was not a loving smile. Something more sinister lurks underneath, and you do not wish to unravel more than what was revealed.

This was not his first attempt to make you his.

You sobbed.

Ayato, you asshole.

"Right," he chuckled. His gloved hands started to slither around your collar and buttons. "You must be feeling too warm, here–"

"Part your lips for me, my beloved. Won't you obey– submit– to your husband this time around, (Y/n)?"

#yandere fanfiction #yandere genshin x reader #yandere ayato #yandere kamisato ayato #kamisato ayato x reader #ayato x reader #yandere genshin #yandere x reader #yandere oneshot #yandere genshin impact #yandere #tag: blind obedience - ayato #ansy-writes

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

NRC having their school open to the public for the fall/winter sports festival against RSA and Crewel daughter came to see the event, but runs to hide some RSA students because they try to asked her out/ask for marriage and she just down right scared

Let's say Malleus, Sebek, Jade, Floyd and Jack desperate asking to hide behind them and when the RSA student passed they just explain that they are creepy and really wanted to stay far away from the student

Malleus Draconia

“Tsuno-dear don’t say a word about me being here.”

“?”

He was sitting away from the crowds 

after all he hadn’t been invited to stroll through the crowds

But he was invited to ‘an outing’ with you 

So he of course waited dutifully in the courtyard of the Great Seven

That is before seeing a dazzling blur of black whiter and red pass by before he made eye contact with you hidden under the nearby foliage

“Hello, horned-sir, by any chance have you seen a maiden pass through here?”

“Yes-yes with big sunglasses and a shawl hanging off their beautifully exposed shoulders.” 

A fanged smirk curled on the fae’s face 

The students start to feel incredibly outmatched 

“One that's unclaimed? Can’t say I have.”

“R-right, t-thank you then!” 

They scurry off and you step out 

Elegantly shaking off the stray leaves that cling to you

“By the way, I’m not claimed by anyone. I’m my own woman.”

“Of course you are dear, now shall we head to the festivities?”

He holds his arm out and you take it 

Strutting throughout the Magift festivities you two pull attention from everyone

Effectively scaring off anyone outside your typical circle

Now later on Malleus won’t dwell on those students 

knowing full well they come nowhere close to even competing with him

…but Sebek had been a little too eager to receive their descriptions

and maybe he was a bit eager to give them

“They weren’t an issue, really. Just a nuisance.”

“A NUISANCE TO MALLEUS-SAMA IS A THREAT THAT MUST BE DESTROYED.” 

Jack Howl

“Jack can you-”

“Yes.”

“...I didn’t even finish…”

“I can sense your distress. Is it one of the students? Where?”

You point to the students that seemed to linger at a 5 meter radius keeping an eye on Jack

“If you’ll excuse me.”

“Ugh fine. But don’t be long. I want to see how Savanna fairs this year with their embarrassing blunder.”

Talk about Big dog privilege

Jack is muscular guy and he has a stern gaze that makes him intimidating even to your friends

Just being around him makes people hesitate before crossing you

Even better he’s debilitatingly subservient to you

You just ask him and he delivers

“Does this work for you, (Y/n)? Should I punish them further?”

“Jack, didn’t I tell you I wanted to go. This will have to be done or else I’m leaving.”

“Of course. Sorry for the hold up.”

“It's fine. I’ll forgive you if you carry the shopping bags.”

“I was going to do that anyway but gladly.”

Floyd Leech

“Ne~Ne, are these guys getting on your nerves…I’m the only one allowed to do that.”

He was probably aiming to track you down before you got to hide

He’s more than willing to play bodyguard if you let him stick around

But if that's too much he’ll run off to squeeze those two only to come back so you give him good-job-headpats or kisses

He likes to bother you in the same way he does Riddle but in your own Crewel-way you always surprise him

Or I can see you spontaneously calling out to him for whatever you please

To you he’s like a cat that goes seeking for trouble

So the best way to keep him occupied 

Is to entertain him before the fact

So squishing his cheek, patting his head, letting him lay on you as you did what you had to do

And it works for him

Enough to pummel anyone and anything with the gall to make you uncomfortable

“Did I do good, (Y/n)?”

“Yes…Did you floss today?”

“....”

“Fine, sit still.”

Jade Leech

“It's awfully rude of you to be disrupting the festivities…Perhaps I need to teach you a lesson.”

The place you’ve hidden in is a guarantee that you could deal with these two alone 

But thankfully Jade is there to be of assistance

More than willing to put aside the mountain lovers club to…deal with these interlopers

He doesn’t neeed you to tell him to drag these fools aaway

And when he’s done he makes sure they don’t even think of trying to tell

Speed walking away wiith a limp 

You can be sure they won’t bother you for the rest of the day or ever again if they don’t want Jade to follow through with his threats

“They won’t be bothering us any longer.”

“I appreciate the help.”

“But of course.”

Sebek Zigvolt

“HOW DARE YOU MAKE (Y/N), UNCOMFORTABLE!!?! IT'S ABSURD THAT HUMAN FILTH SHOULD EVEN TRY THIS.”

He’s on it like Donkey Kong

You’ll run into him while he’s either trying to find Malleus or you 

You can try and explain that their not physically hurting you but that doesn’t matter

He’s treating this like these guys are assassins trying to kill you

Unlike with Malleus who when he gives order Sebek fully listens to 

For you he listens but he also doesn’t

So even after he’s scared them away

He invites himself to stand guard for the rest of your day

Loudly berating anyone who gets to close for his liking 

Which is an arm-length

“STEP AWAY (Y/N) CREWEL DEMANDS HER SPACE.”

“...Sebek, use this; it resembles a sword doesn’t it?”

“GLORIOUS IDEA, MISTRESS CREWEL!”

You handed him a baguette…he’s threateningly pointing a baguette at confused people

#yandere twisted wonderland x reader #yandere x reader #yandere x you #yanderexrea #lovelyyandereaddictionpoint #yandere twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twsited wonderland #disney twisted wonderland #creweldaughterreader #yanderes #yandere harem #yandere malleus x reader #malleus x reader #twisted wonderland malleus #malleus x yuu #malleus headcanons #yandere malleus draconia #yandere leech twins #yandere floyd leech #yandere floyd x reader #floyd leech #jade leech #twst floyd #twst jade #tweels #yandere tweels #yandere jade leech #yandere jade x reader

[shigure]

if i walked up to a news anchor and said "no matter what people say about you, i believe you. you're not delusional, god does love you, and you are a news anchor" they would probably just laugh at me in confusion. because those statements aren't really a question. they're taken for granted. on the other hand, if i were to walk up to a news anchor and say "i know you're not a liar. i know that you're working hard every day to find the truth and present the most valuable stories to the people who watch you," that would mean something to them. because even in an empty subway car with just myself and the news anchor, there is an unspoken current around them of public perception. the fact that i'm reassuring them that i do not think they're a liar also affirms the unspoken - that there are many people who believe the contrary.

in the fifteen years since i've come out, things have changed a lot for how trans people are spoken of and seen. the biggest change is how much more we're spoken of at all. when i was a kid, i had never even heard the word transgender before, and spent a fair amount of time identifying with terms i learned from anime that kind of described how i felt. nowadays, a ten year old child not only knows what a transgender person is, they are probably also politically opinionated. and what are those opinions formed by? the same thing that comprises the current surrounding me, that of public opinion.

when someone comes up to me and says god loves you, you're not delusional, you aren't sick, there's nothing wrong with you, you are loved, you are wanted, you belong... of course that means a lot. but it hurts, because even with just myself and this stranger in an empty subway car, there's the unspoken affirmation that millions of people strongly and loudly feel otherwise. about all of those things. i don't feel confused by those statements like my hypothetical news anchor did. because those statements are points of debate that i cannot escape in my day to day life.

i think of all the thousands (millions?) of news articles that have been pushed out about people like me over the years. everything from attack helicopters to pronoun police to woke agenda to competing in sports to bathroom bills. imagine even half of those articles being positive or merciful - imagine them having even half as many good things to say as cruel ones. so many words being repeated about me to people who will never meet or know or love me, burrowing into their brains and forcing them to either agree or disagree that i have a right to live. of course i want everyone to agree. but more than that, i want them to not consider that question in the first place. i want the idea of my right to live (as a point of debate) to be as silly and unusual to them as the thought of whether people that eat cilantro should be put to death.

we are not normalized. we are sensationalized. we do not live in a world where the average person can glance past us without thinking twice. we are not even afforded the courtesy of being taken for granted. how, then, are we to have hope that one day we could be loved?

#POST

[lannisterdaddyissues]

I want to enable your BillRita screaming so for those ship asks...

How do they sleep?

What's their most and least favorite thing about each other?

How are they with PDA?

What's their favorite thing to tease each other about?

What little things remind them of each other?

I would apologize for how many of these things I sent but we both know I'm not sorry...

OHHHHHHH HEATHER YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH YOU’VE ENABLED ME WITH THIS I’M FROTHING AT THE FUCKING MOUTHHHHHHH GRGSHGRHFJGHASRJGHASJFHSAGRJSFSGAS YOU KNOW I LOVE THEM!!! YOU KNOW I DO!!!!

IM SORRY THIS TOOK 84 YEARS BTW AND THERES A LOT OF TONAL DISSONANCE IN THIS BECAUSE I WAS BEING SILLY AT FIRST BUT THEN I GOT SO FUCKING SERIOUS ABOUT THIS YOU KNOW HOW I AM AHRESGAKJHJSGKHALSJGKHFASG ANYWAY-

im putting this under a cut because it is. so fucking long. im so sorry for my mental illness

3. What's their favorite thing to tease each other about? AHHHHHH i think we all know rita will bully bill over anything and everything because she's just. so mean to him 😭 but i think her favorite thing to make fun of him for is his accent, or really just his being american in general because i think he’d be the most stereotypical american guy lol. he has a silly, dumb american accent and he likes silly, dumb american sports and silly, dumb american food! rita pretends to find his Americanisms™ exasperating but privately she thinks they're funny lmao

as for bill, his favorite thing to tease rita about is how messy she is. i’ve already said it, but rita being a messy bitch and bill being a neat freak is one of my favorite headcanons about them sjdfhskjgffjs… you’d think being in the army would’ve taught rita how to put things away but no, bill finds her bras and stuff lying around all the time and it was awkward at first but he’s gotten used to it now, so he lets her have her little rebellion against army regulations and politely pretends that isn’t her. uh. underwear. wedged between the couch cushions next to him when he sits down to do Important Media Relations Major Stuff™ on his computer 😳

5. How do they sleep? they sleep back to back because it's a show of trust and vulnerability for both of them... blubbubbublbddlwwbwudfbfbldludubldublub;;,.,$$.,$,&.,., goodbye... i'm crying now...

of course, by the time the morning rolls around bill is normally lying half on top of rita and drooling a bit on her shirt, which isn’t super sexy but bill will be bill 🤷‍♀️

7. What's their most and least favorite thing about each other? AHHHHHH oh my god. i have to think long and hard about this and it sounds like a cop-out but i truly don't think bill really has a favorite thing about rita. if you ask him what it is, he will actually spontaneously combust from thinking too hard.

but the short answer is her smile!!! he works so fucking hard to make her smile—cracking jokes, doing nice things for her, earning her praise by proving his competence—and he swears it lights up the entire room whenever he can get her to do it!!! 😭 and if he can get her to laugh? he won’t be able to think about anything else but that sound for DAYS

on the other hand, his least favorite thing about her is…well, probably her optimism. she's not very good at it. in fact, most of the time it just makes him feel worse whenever she tells him he’ll just have to try harder next time! like gee, thanks rita! he was already doing that but he’ll take it into consideration… just like he did the last time… and the time before that… and before that…

when it comes to rita though, she would never, even on pain of death, say anything sappy like her “favorite thing” about bill where someone else can hear her, but i think her favorite thing about him is—surprisingly, since it’s his least favorite thing about her—his optimism.

for her, it’s just been so long since she was able to enjoy things without feeling guilt or some kind of loss, but bill somehow never lost that. which certainly isn’t to say he didn’t acquire his fair share of trauma or grief or loss along the way, but he remains steadily resilient in the face of adversity even in the very last iteration—“we’ve had worse :)”—and that strikes a chord with her, i think. then, slowly, being around someone so stubbornly happy despite carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders starts to not only impress her, but it heals her. with his help, she learns to enjoy things again: the delight of a good meal after years of carrying a bad aftertaste in her mouth, the comfort of a spacious hotel room and a soft bed after sleeping on the ground for god knows how long, the satisfaction of a healthy jog just around the block after spending years running at a sprint with no breaks. the all-consuming joy of someone knowing her the way she never dreamed anyone would ever know her again after before. the relief of not having to think about 'before' anymore because now she has an 'after' to look forward to instead.

ahem. sorry. i got carried away for a second.

that being said, her least favorite thing about bill is easy to pin down and that is his complete and utter lack of dignity LOL... rita can say for absolute certain she has never met a man with as little pride as bill cage, and although he is rather funny and makes for surprisingly good company on a quiet day, he is often ridiculously embarrassing to be around and can be very difficult when he doesn’t want to do something because he’s being a chicken about it🙄

14. What little things remind them of each other? ohhhhhhh 🥺🥺🥺 i apologize because u will get a LOT of sappiness for this but-

on bill's side, he is reminded of rita in everything, but mainly in their experiences together. he sees her in a young woman's loosely braided hair as she passes him on the street. he sees her in his coffee cup when the waitress taking his order asks if he wants sugar or cream. he sees her in the sun at 6:45pm exactly, when he and rita sat together on the fence outside the farmhouse and watched it disappear over the horizon. in his lifetime, he's experienced everything with her, and he probably has as many things to remember her by as there are stars in the cosmos.

of course, he's reminded of her in other ways as well. things she taught him. he thinks of her when he looks to the sun to check the time rather than turning over his wrist, just like she taught him. he thinks of her when he does his stretches at the gym, just like she taught him. he thinks of her when he checks all his exits every time he enters a room and someone closes the door, just like she taught him. everything he knows he learned from her and for her.

it's harder for rita though, because she doesn't have anything to remember him by, so she remembers the little things instead: his preferences and whatnot. she pretends not to care when he tells her where he's from or what his favorite color is, but she thinks of him when his favorite baseball team is shown on television, or when she goes for a walk in the park and it starts to rain even though it's sunny out because sunshowers make him smile the brightest :')

26. How are they with PDA? UGHRGRHREHGHUDRHGJSHRKHASG DONT MAKE ME THINK ABOUT ESTABLISHED BILLRITA AND PDA ILL EXPLODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

no but bill has ALWAYS been a pda guy that much is so obvious!! i think he was always chasing something real with his old girlfriends, and even if it never felt like much with them, it was better than nothing... and then he fell head over ass into the mimic war and the closest thing to PDA he got was a kick in the gut or the barrel a gun trained on his temple, so surely no one can fault him for craving comfort, reassurance, intimacy—anything to take him away from the reality he was living in for even 5 seconds.

...and this did not answer the question at all which is to say bill is SO fucking annoying (affectionate) about pda 😭 rita please hold his hand please kiss him on the forehead please cuddle him he wants to hold you he wants you to hold him PLEASE!!! he will actually die if you don't and then you'll be sad (he hopes) :'(

meanwhile rita is a fan of pda in the way cats are a fan of anything. she either wants all the fucking pda or none of it. if she's not the one initiating, bill is Not the one getting it 😔

#OKAY THATS IT THATS THE POST. I FINALLY FUCKING ANSWERED THIS AFTER 84 YEARS GOD BLESS #ask #reply #thethistlegirl #mutual #edge of tomorrow #bill cage #rita vrataski #billrita #headcanons

[rocksinmuffin]

just realized you write for twst!! may i request some more ace and deuce being jealous bc their best friend / crush is being courted by a literal fae prince and smh they just can’t compete with that

God thank you so much you are the first (and so far, only) person to request Twisted Wonderland and this is exactly my shit 😤

~*~

Ace would never admit it to anyone, but he considers Deuce a rival.

Not when it comes to studies. Deuce is dumb as a sack of bricks. And, sure, most of the time Ace’s grades aren’t much better, but that’s just because he’d rather not waste any time studying. If he ever put any effort into his classes, he would be fine. Deuce actually tries and he’s still in the bottom of their class.

He doesn’t consider him a rival when it comes to sports, either. Deuce is probably more athletic than Ace is, but they just don’t share the same interests. Because Ace likes cool sports like basketball while Deuce is content to focus on track. It’s hard to be upstaged by a guy just running in big circles.

But when it comes to love? Well…

There’s nothing more pathetic than the way Deuce stares you down like a lovesick puppy whenever you aren’t looking. He’s so obvious about it! The way his expression gets so soft and how his fingers twitch like he wants to reach out and hold your hand but is way too much of a coward to actually do anything. It’s irritating. Especially when you speak to Deuce in a softer tone than you ever do with him. Your gentle encouragements are nothing like the playful barbs you exchange with Ace. Not that Ace would ever trade your back-and-forth for anything but would it kill you to be that sweet with him every once in a while?

And maybe some of Ace’s irritation is colored by the fact that he also has feelings for you but Ace thinks that even if he didn’t have a crush on you it would still be annoying.

Still, rivalry aside, Ace knows that Deuce has his back when it really matters. And right now, there’s a bigger threat vying for your affection than the two of them combined.

Ace has no idea how you even met Malleus Draconia. As far as Ace is aware, the guy usually has himself holed up within Diasomnia’s dorms most of the time and, when he isn’t, he’s got a whole entourage of bodyguards glaring at anyone who so much as sneezes in the Prince of Briar Valley’s general direction. Well, to be fair, Sebek is the only one ever glaring, but the point still stands. How you managed to get close to the guy is a mystery.

And there’s no denying you are close. The two of you might just be talking—and no matter how hard Ace strains his ears and stares at your mouth as if he’ll suddenly learn how to read lips, he still can’t manage to make out what the two of you are saying—but everything about Malleus’ body language broadcasts his interest.

It’s the way his shoulders loosen up, much more relaxed than the stiff and rigid way he carries himself in public. It’s the way the corner of his lips tilt upward whenever you speak when the only other smiles Ace has ever seen from the guy were thinly-concealed threats. It’s the way his eyes soften around the edges as he looks at you like you’re his whole world.

Ace knows that look. He’s caught Deuce giving you that look enough times to recognize it for what it is. He’s given you that same look so many times there’s no way he could misinterpret the love and desire and affection of that gaze.

Ace’s only saving grace is that you’re as oblivious to Malleus’ feelings as you are to everyone else’s. If you ever did find out, it would be game over. Because how is anyone supposed to compete with a literal prince? It’s not fair.

Lucky for Ace, he’s never been one to play fair in the first place.

Ace steeples his hands under his chin as he schemes, eyes on you. You’re so dense you’d never figure out Malleus likes you unless he confesses. And he can’t confess if you’re too distracted to give him the time of day.

Ace glances over to Deuce. Deuce is chewing on his bottom lip, eyes hardened and fingers digging into his lap. He looks like he wants to start a fight with Malleus but—for once in his life—he’s smart enough to know that’s a fight he can’t win.

Deuce only looks away from you when Ace nudges him in the arm. Deuce glares. Ace shrugs his head in your direction. Deuce raises an eyebrow then nods his head in understanding. No words are exchanged. None are needed.

Ace rears back and aims a punch for Deuce’s jaw at the same time that Deuce’s fist makes impact with Ace’s right eye.

They aren’t scuffling for long before Ace can hear your voice screaming in his ears, hands yanking at the back of his jacket to physically pull him and Deuce away from each other.

You’re lecturing them. Telling them how stupid and immature they are and how you’re always having to keep them in line. Your hands are on your hips and your brows are furrowed in that cute way they always do when you’re mad. Deuce looks genuinely cowed by your words, clearly upset to have disappointed you, but Ace has to bite back the smirk eating at his lips when he notices Malleus is long gone.

His eye has swollen shut but, five minutes later, when you’re fussing over him and pressing ice to his bruise, Ace can’t help but feel like he’s won.

#ask #anon #sinning #reader insert #twisted wonderland #otome hell #ace trappola #deuce spade #malleus draconia #long post #real talk tho these 3 are the main boys I ship with the mc #and anything I wrote for this fandom is with the understanding that these 3 are in love with the mc whether stated or not

[eviltothecore13]

OK so...Wesker is a weird person in a lot of ways (and I love him for it), we all know that, but...I do find it strange when people write him as if he’s literally from another planet and arrived on earth yesterday?

Like, I see portrayals of Wesker where he acts like a robot or a Vulcan and is immediately offputting/weirds people out even when he’s trying to act normal and blend in, and where everyone at STARS sees him as suspicious, cold, unfriendly, unlikeable...even though canonically he was well-liked, trusted and respected by the whole team, and according to Kenichi Iwao he was admired and seen as cool. And what we see of his interactions with the team while he’s still pretending to be on their side are...not overly formal or unnatural or in any way abnormal for a boss talking to subordinates in an organisation such as STARS?

Sometimes in fic he’s depicted as completely unfamiliar with all slang, even slang that existed when he was a teenager, or even phrases that aren’t really slang but are just slightly casual. And no, he wasn’t kept locked up in a lab for his entire childhood/teenage years...he got a PhD at 17, which means he was at university pretty much from age 11 onwards. (Even before that, the files don’t actually suggest he was literally raised in a lab, just raised and supervised/monitored by Umbrella employees...he shows far more skills in interacting with people than someone who was isolated throughout their childhood would be, and considering that leadership and skill in manipulating people were both valued by the project, and that they wanted to raise ambitious kids who could be successful in whatever field they chose, and apparently succeeded in this goal, it’s likely that the kids got a lot of practice at interacting with people from an early age.)

University involves interacting with people--working with them, living with them, and spending time around them for any extracurriculars (you can’t tell me this dramatic bitch wasn’t a theatre kid) or sports (which I believe some background info or writer comments somewhere say he excelled in? I can’t see him playing team sports, but even non-team-based sports involve interacting with other people, especially at university and especially if you’re good enough to compete...).

Wesker talks *fairly* formally most of the time himself (and he seemingly can’t say “fuck”), and I’m sure there are plenty of phrases he would be unfamiliar with (especially ones that didn’t exist when he was a teenager, or more regional stuff), but the idea he wouldn’t understand a single colloquial phrase and needs everything worded like a lab report at all times is just too far. (And is contradicted by how we see him talking to people in the games...the guy makes a “cops are pigs” joke in RE1, come on, he won’t be totally lost every time someone uses a phrase that’s not really formal.)

...Talking of jokes, he has a sense of humour. Both in terms of sarcasm, and truly terrible puns like “your future HINGES upon this fight!”. He’s not 100% grim and humourless and serious all the time, he’s not going to get angry with people at STARS for displaying the slightest hint of a sense of humour (remember, he was a “moderate and fair” leader).

(So, yes, Wesker probably would say “apartment complex? I find it quite simple”, but because he has a terrible and painful sense of humour--not because he’s never heard of an apartment complex.)

He’s also not totally clueless about pop culture--far from it, given that he’s one of only two Capcom characters (the other being Viewtiful Joe whose entire personality is based around being a fanboy) to recognise the Marvel characters in MVC3 (this was pre-MCU, too, so this ACTUALLY makes him a nerd and not just someone who doesn’t live under a rock)--and you can’t tell me him stealing moves from Street Fighter and The King Of Fighters, or starting to dress like a Matrix character after getting Matrix powers, is a coincidence. Netflix show canon adding Star Trek to that list is honestly quite fitting. (This is of course in addition to him being very familiar with non-pop-culture, referencing things like mythology and having a lot of books in his office at STARS, playing piano offscreen in Lost In Nightmares, etc.)

Occasionally I’ve even seen him depicted as totally unaware of anything that goes on the world (e.g. politics, even though he shows quite a bit of awareness of that at least as it relates to his job and I feel like it’s more in-character for him to want to keep up with the news and be aware of stuff, he’s not someone who narrowly focuses on just his research, he’s someone who likes to be knowledgeable in a wide variety of areas) and unable to function outside of a lab. Like...no, that’s Will if it’s anyone...Arklay was only accessible by helicopter for a few years, true, though it later became more accessible e.g. by train from Raccoon City (by the time of the mansion incident, files like the keeper’s diary mention Arklay employees visiting partners/family/etc on days off, so it doesn’t seem to have stayed totally isolated for long), but...they still have phones, they have computers, and Wesker as chief researcher likely travelled to Umbrella conferences etc, not to mention spending 6 years in the army, and anywhere else he might have travelled to on missions as an intelligence agent...he’s also definitely not living at Arklay while he’s at STARS, he’s only there occasionally, he almost certainly just lives in Raccoon City at this point. (Comics!Wesker also has a wakizashi on his desk, making it quite likely he’s been to Japan...obviously that’s not canon, but it was present in concept art for the games, I like to think the only reason it’s not there in RE2 is that he took it with him.) There really isn’t much evidence for him being extremely isolated/never having left Arklay.

And there’s a lot of evidence for him being very skilled at interacting with people, as a leader (officer in the Army; trusted and well-liked at STARS; managed to get a bunch of older/more experienced scientists to listen to and obey him as chief researcher when he was just 18) and in terms of manipulating people, rising up through the ranks at various organisations, etc...he’s pretty much an expert at getting people on his side, getting them to like him, gaining their trust, it doesn’t make sense for him to act like an alien who just landed on earth/someone who lives under a rock/etc in social situations.

(Some of these fics also make him extremely awkward or repressed when it comes to sex and uh...we’re talking about someone who dresses in tight leather outfits with a COLLAR, has lines like “I’ll play with you” and “Submit” in MVC3 along with some almost as Interesting lines in the games, generally said with the kind of smirk that suggests he knows EXACTLY what he’s saying. I’m not a fan of the versions of him that are having sex with every other character in the series either, I think he considers most people to not be worth his time/attention/interest on that front, but I don’t think he’s repressed.)

#resident evil #wesker #albert wesker #yes he's a weird person #he's a nerd and he makes terrible puns and he twirls around and t-poses #but he's not a robot #wow this post ended up long #also Tumblr tried to tag this post 'purple' for some reason????

[adrenaline-void]

Things to Script For an Ice Skating DR

From a competitive figure skater of ten years

I keep seeing scripting ideas for a figure skating DR and oh boy it’s obvious people have no idea about competitive skating. you skate backwards easily, you look pretty in every photo, you win every competition, you can do a double loop while competing at a senior level blah blah blah. Love y’all, but please do a bit of research before just jumping into a DR to date a hockey player. Competitive things; i.e. competition breakdowns, levels, points, and more potentially to come.

1. YOU PICK UP CHOREOGRAPHY FAST

there’s no fun in having to go over the same choreography a million times because you keep forgetting it

2. YOU DON’T HAVE PROBLEMS WITH OTHER SKATERS

once you start competing at a high enough level, you see the same people at every competition. especially at international levels, there’s only a few people at those levels. script you get along with the other skaters in your level or beyond, it will make your life a lot easier and a lot more fun

3. YOU DON’T FEEL THE EFFECTS OF ALTITUDE

as recently proven at last year’s (2023) FCC, altitude is a common problem and something that effects a performance like nothing else. if you decide to place your training location in lower altitudes, script that high altitudes don’t affect your skating.

4. COACHES AREN’T ABUSIVE

abusive coaches have sadly become the norm in skating and many other sports. people like Eteri Tuberitze have become infamous for their dangerous and problematic training techniques. do yourself a favor and script that coaches aren’t just money/power hungry people exerting force over a group of people that have no real choice but to listen. along the same vein, script that coaches don’t push illegal drugs and steroids to make their skaters better

5. YOU LOOK PRETTY IN MOST COMPETITION PHOTOS

i personally have yet to have a competition where i don’t have a photo that looks like i want to murder the judges. i mean, sometimes i do, but that’s not the point of the pictures. script you look good in most of the photos taken on the ice

6. YOU DON’T HAVE INTERPERSONAL DRAMA ON YOUR TEAM

by your team, i mean your coaches, personal trainers, nutritionists, sports psychologists, physical therapists, or anyone else you interact with regularly. those people literally hold your life, health, and career in their hands, its far easier to just get along with them (unless you like the drama, you do you)

7. IF YOU ARE A PAIRS OR DANCE SKATER, YOU AND YOUR PARTNER GET ALONG

if you’re dating your partner, don’t break up and then still skate together it’s not worth it. if you’re not dating your partner, make sure you get along. most skaters i’ve seen have more of a sibling relationship than anything else. you probably will see your partner more than your siblings to be honest. there’s usually a lot of emotions and stress involved in competing, so hating your partner or getting mad at them easily or not trusting each other is not healthy or beneficial to a career.

8. YOUR COSTUMES DON’T SUCK

looking at you, nathan chen. seriously, sometimes costumes suck. i’ve had my fair share of those, but when you’re paying as much money as olympians are to get your costumes custom fitted, they should look at least decent. also, this is where i would also include the scripting stuff about your costumes always fitting, flattering, and don’t ride up or accidentally fall off at the wrong time

i hope this helps!

#shifting #reality shifting #figure skating dr #ice skating dr #scripting

[lexa-griffins]

Clarke competes in a Halloween costume contest. Her costume is complicated to wear so she needs help to put it on. Cue Lexa who helps Clarke with her costume and that's how she discovers about Clarke's secret in her pants

Its a supergirl costume. Took some time to find a really good one that wasnt just some flimsy stretchy fabric or just a red skirt and a bidy but Clarke finally found one that resembles the full body suit Clarke wanted.

Except it is hell to put on. To be fair, Clarke has a lot more than Kara Danvers does to tuck inside the damn thing.

Its for a contest thought her friends signed her up for and because she cant help but be competitive, she is set on winning. And with a superhero team, she is sure to be set for success with this one.

If she can even put it on the right way first.

"Shit." Clarke curses as she realizes she manages to dress it the wrong way. Her makeup is done and if she keeps trying to squeeze herself into this thing alone she's gonna sweat it all off.

"Hey Lex. Could you help me with this thing?"

In comes her roommate. Hallowen is not her thing so while Clarke struggles to get inside her costume, Lexa leasures around in shorts and an oversized shirt

"You look ridiculous right now."

"Thanks, you're always so delightful. Please help me. Im struggling." Clarke whines as she gets the costume out and turns it correctly.

"Fine." Lexa sighs, seemimgly annoyed and snatching the costume from Clarke hands and staring at it. After its made clear Clarke's legs have to go in first, she motions to the bed, "sit down so its easier."

Clarke does as she's told. She sits on her bed in just her socks, sports bra and compression shorts. The latter felt more appropriate given she doesnt want a bulge to be visible on the costume. She'd rather keep that to herself.

Something that might be difficult now she realizes, as Lexa kneel in from of her on the floor, trying to get Clarke's legs inside the leg holes of the suit.

"This material is not forgiving. Jesus fuck." Lexa comments as she struggles to slide the tough and thigh fabric up Clarke's leg.

Her mouth is dangerously close to Clarke's crotch tho and Clarke has to close her eyes to bed her dick not to act up right now.

Not that she doesnt find Lexa insanely attractive but as it stands she is the best roommate she ever had and there is a small chance she might move out screaming is Clarke has a boner right by her face.

Shit. She thought of a boner.

"Hmm Clarke?" Lexa's voice is not alarmed but she does seem apprehensive.

Clarke whences, knowing damn well her dick is pressing hard agaisnt her compression shorts but refuses to look up, "Im sorry. I should have said something before."

Finally, she looks at Lexa, ready to see her looking at her in disguss. Instead her eyes are hooded and her mouth slightly opened as she stares at the bulge, "thats not gonna fit in the costume." She comments in a slow voice.

Clarke's breathing shakes, "y-yeah, it probably won't."

Its not a dream caused by dripping on her own feet as she tries to get the costume on Clarke is sure. Yet everything that happens afterwards does not seem real.

Lexa's hands on the band of her shorts. The gasp as she pulls them down and Clarke's cock jumps out, stiff against her stomach.

Lexa's hand wrapped around her shaft, soft skin moving up and down her length, causing pre cum to drip from her tip and Clarke groan at the feeling.

"Hold still." Lexa whispers as if Clarke is planning on going anywhere.

Plump lips wrap around her cock with ease, her toungue collecting the pre cum with one swipe. Clarke moves her hand to the back of Lexa's head, holding the ponytail she tied her hair in as she accepted to help Clarke. She lowers herself slowly onto Clarke's dick, taking a second between each inch of dick before she gets half way through her lenght and cannot take anymore. She comes up for hair like she's been underwater and all clarke can do is stare at her in amazement. She looks absolutely gorgeous like this, cheeks red, eyes watery, spit in the corner of her lip.

"Lexa you dont have to-"

"It wont fit in it." Lexa tells her sternly. If she means the costume or her mouth Clarke will never know because Lexa is on her feet again, discarding her shorts and underwear on the floor and climbing on top of Clarke.

They should talk about this. Clarke just needed help with a damn costume. And now she's looking as Lexa aligns her dick with her entrance, feeling as she lowers herself down on to Clarke's dick with ease until Clarke is fully buried inside of her.

"It fits." Lexa chuckles.

It sure does. Thight but like a damn glove.

Lexa rides her with gusto, and Clarke cums faster than she thinks she has ever done in her life.

She's still dripping Clarke's cum when she lowers herself down to clean Clarke with her mouth.

Clarke is barely aware of the costume being fully pulled up and closed before shes staring st herself in the mirror.

Lexa's face pops up in the reflection behind her as she finishes closing the zipper, "a little thight, but like a glove."

#letter opened #wanheda's dagger

[jackdaw-kraai]

So I've been told to post this here, and I hope y'all like it because shit was wild tonight. I had the weirdest fucking dream. Like, you know how sometimes movie get a shitty spin-off with a completely random topic? That happened. It was like being one of the human characters in Space Jam and things got just as wild as that statement implies.

First thing I can remember was wandering through the hallways some semi-industrial, semi-ancient manor building and hearing both loud music and raucous cheering. “What’s that?” I think to myself, because apparently dream-me is a whole lot more curious than I am, so I go to check it out. And fam, it’s the biggest fucking college party you’ve ever seen in your life and things are off the shits.

Somehow I find out that it’s the start-of-year party shared by two rival campuses, and there’s a semi-drunken basketball tournament going between the teams of the two schools. Then, somehow, through the pushing and pulling of the crowd, I end up in the middle of the basketball court. “Fucking wild” I think to myself and somehow don’t melt into the floor when everyone starts staring at me and I realize I stumbled in at the start of a break between the two teams. Instead I stare back, in my full 5’7/170cm glory, because my dreams cannot give my short king ass a break, and the players stare back, each the size of fucking giants as far as I'm concerned.

Now I want you to picture the scene. My dream cut me no slack, so I am exactly as I am irl most of the time, which means I’m dressed in blue-black slacks, floral pattern button up, quilted waistcoat, and just a whole lot of attitude packed into a pretty small body amongst giants dressed in full basketball attire. I Do Not Belong. But somehow, like drunk college students do, someone in the crowd starts yelling “Hey! You! Make a shot!” Which soon gets picked up by all the other drunk students and that’s when the heated debate begins.

Apparently, the team in red with white trimmings, the hawks, is all for it, but the team in white with red trimmings, the marvels, is against it. And tbh? I can’t blame them. I barely knew what the fuck was going on, even in dream, so I Get It. But it ended up escalating until suddenly a bet was made.

If I could make a shot, into a basket that was held up by one of the players, straight across the court, with a balled up tshirt, I would get put on the hawks team who would spend the season training me up in an effort to prove that they could make anyone into a competent basketball player. If I failed, I’d probably just be laughed out of the room along with the team because drunken college kids are stupid and don't think things through. Then both teams and the entire audience silently looked at me, and I don’t know what dream-me was thinking, but I distinctly remember going “hey, I did say I wanted to do more sporting. It’s cheaper than dance classes, I guess” and agreed. So I, a tiny man, promptly got hoisted up onto the shoulders of one of the hawks and taken across the court in order to make sure I didn’t make a run for it and got a fair shot, or something, while a marvels player hoisted up the basket.

I was given a balled up shirt to chuck, and the game began. Now, I don’t know what dream-me was doing, or if it was some sort of tactic, but every time I tried to throw my impov ball it promptly did that thing where it unravels in mid-air and kinda floats. Thankfully, I could catch it every time almost immediately so by drunken-student logic it didn’t count. But the marvels were starting to laugh at my incompetence and kinda heckle me, to which the hawks, and especially the player who’s shoulders I was riding, got kinda upset.

“Hey, man! She’s just trying her best!”

What.

“Oooh! Is the little girl trying her best? Is she trying?”

What.

So yeah. That’s the moment dream-me realized I was being misgendered. In dream. And I got so mad.

When the next time the marvels guy with the basket started doing a silly little mocking dance, I waited until the basket tipped forward, and, in a hulk-rage at being misgendered, I chucked the shirt like a star fucking baseball player.

And made the fucking shot.

Bullseye.

I have never in my life experienced the sheer satisfaction of silencing an entire room of people like that as dream-me did in that moment. And then, I shit thee not, the crowd went wild. Like, “blow the roof off the damn building” wild.

And this is when things get wild.

So the marvels were checking if the shirt now really was in the bin, the hawks were celebrating with me still on their shoulders like they’d just won the championships, and the crowd had fully lost it.

But remember how I said this was a tie-in?

Well.

While everyone was posting the video of me hulk-raging myself into a victory (even in dreams I can't escape the hell that is social media) and trying to add me to the campus group chat (ew) and the hawks trying to figure out how to tell the school what they’d done, I eventually got put back on the ground. So during the celebration, and while I was wandering around the party as now the guest of honor, I stumbled across one of the lady hawk players (my dreams apparently believe in integrated sports. Right on.) and she greeted me, white-girl wasted, with “hey little girl! Nice shot!”

And I, still being peeved about the misgendering, corrected her that she was, in fact, speaking to a gentleman. I remember seeing the gears turning in her drunken little head in dream and then witnessing a literal lightbulb moment as she realized something.

“Oh! So like—hic—you’rrre like… transgender?” “Yes, miss.” “Fucking rad. HEY! HEY GUYS!” “WHAT?” “GUESS WHAT?” “Oh no.” “WUNDERKIND LITTLE GIRL IS WUNDERKIND LITTLE GENTLEMAN!”

And I shit thee not, the raucous cheering I got at that announcement nearly knocked me flat. Apparently, it had been an honest mistake, because dream-me, just like real-me, also wasn’t on T yet.

But.

Do you know who wasn’t cheering?

Do you know who really wasn’t???

The fucking spirit of an insane campus-student-turned-serial-killer-turned-executed-vengeful-ghost haunting the buildings bell tower clock.

And now we’re at the wildest part!

Because this spirit, this guy, was the personification of every internet alt-right joker stan troll and ho-lee shit it showed.

So this guy manifests out of his clock, literally in a bout of lightning and colored fire, and starts cackling maniacally. And I remember squinting at him cackling there in the courtyard from the balcony, beckoning over my new basketball buddies, and going “Hey guys, I think we may have a problem.”

And these guys, drunk off their tits, dutifully stumble over, squint at the still-cackling spectral serial killer wreathed in what I presume to be hellfire, and literally have the following conversation.

“I don’t remember inviting him.” “Dude. Dude, I think he may be, like… crazy johnny?” “Ohhhh. Yeah, but like, returned from the grave?” “Yeeeaahh bro.” “Crazy johnny?” “Oh. Right—hic—newbie wouldn’t know.” “Right. So, like. Crazy johnny, right? Weird guy, liked hanging out with the bad people like, waaay too much, bro.” “I see.” “So like. When he came here, he was starting shit bro. Like, really starting shit. And with all the cool people bro.” “Yeah, remember when he called Fernando a faggot when he tried giving him a homemade quesadilla?” “It was bad, bro. You don’t—hic—you don’t turn down free quesa. Esp—espec— damnit.” “Especially.” “Thanks, bro. Yeah, that, when he made it with his boyfriend. That’s like. Mundo rude.” “And then he brought, like, a gun to school once? And started shooting while shouting craaaazy stuff. But like, mans got knocked out by a falling bell when he shot out the supports.” “*snort* Really rung his bell.” *drunk laughing* “And then he got, like, arrested? And the the popo went looking and found out he was, like, real crazy man. He hooked up with guys and then murdered them, man, instead of doing some loving.” “Wild shit, man. He got ex—exe—“ “Executed.” “Yeah, thanks bro. He got that for it.” “Well then. It seems we now have a problem, gentlemen.”

So yeah. This basketball flick suddenly had a spectral homophobic and transphobic serial killer involved who got summoned by me correcting misgendering. And believe it or not, how we got rid of him was even wilder.

So we now had a spectral serial killer called crazy johnny haunting the party, and he was after my ass. Thankfully, I was still angry, my new basketball buddies were still drunk and/or high off their rocker, and johnny was still crazy. So what ended up happening is that I would act as bait while one of the less drunk and high basketball buddies went to fetch the murder weapon. I wormed my way through the crowds of people who’d started gathering to watch this nutjob shout transphobic slurs in the courtyard while trying to find me, and eventually found myself on the ground floor in the courtyard.

“Hey! Asshole!” I shouted, more angry than brave and also high on the feeling of having new friends, “Looking for me!?”

And this guy, he lived up to his name guys, he shrieked like a banshee and tore off after me. Thankfully, dream-me wasn’t updated with a cane yet, and so could still sprint without issue, luring this guy further into an open section of the courtyard, in front of the gate. I stood there, facing down this lunatic, as he came flying at me and—

BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA—

With the battle cry of a car horn pressed continuously, basketball buddy crashed the delivery van used for beer kegs into Crazy Johnny, pancaking the fucker instantly.

“Did I get ‘im?” not-that-drunk basketball buddy yells while rolling down the window. I go check, and lo’ and behold, this fucker is trying to resurrect himself and is already peeling his skull back up off the pavement while grinning wide at me.

“I am the think you cannot escape,” he cackles at me, body undulating oddly, “I am your fears and your nightmares and that which stalks you in the dark.” And I watch as this fucker grows scales and fangs and a cobra hood and yes, he’s turning into a snake. “I am the horror that will haunt you with the fact that you do not deserve to exist—"

“Give it another couple of reverses, Frank!” I yell at Frank-the-not-that-drunk-basketball-buddy.

Frank shoots me an okay sign, throws the truck in reverse, and then rolls back over now-a-snake Crazy Johnny. He does this a few dozen times, crunching resurrecting bones over and over again while Johnny tries to get a word in edgewise.

Eventually Frank’s masterful use of car-fu tires out even an undead-serial killer and he stops resurrecting for a moment but is evidently still alive, even if he is rather... gooey.

“Hit the brakes, Frank!” I yell, hands on my hips as I look at this mess that’s now in our courtyard. “It’s not gonna be enough!”

So there we are. Me, a few basketball players who are starting to sober up a but but still far from it, and a pasted serial killer groaning on the pavement in a mess of his own scales and many, many ribs. “What do we do now?” I muse.

“…We could try dissolving him in acid?” one of the buddies suggests. “Where would we get acid, bozo?” “Well, like, don’t stomachs have acid?” “…You can’t be—“ “Yoooooo! They do, bro!” “Right??? They totally do!” “Guys, this isn’t—“

“YO! WHO WANTS TO TRY GHOST BARBECUE!?” one of the buddies yells at the drunken crowd of college spectators watching this all unfold. And being a crowd of drunken college spectators, they naturally all want to try ghost barbecue.

So that’s how dream-me watches in complete bafflement as a barbecue is wheeled out of the building and someone else produces garnishes, toppings, and other stuff alongside the paper plates and solo cups. Because apparently you couldn’t just eat ghost au natural like some sort of barbarian.

So Mike, another of the basketball buddies, starts grilling up a still living Johnny while Tiger starts dressing up grilled slices of Johnny on slices of artisanal bread with pine nuts, jewel lettuce, and sashimi, because “you can’t just waste this shit, bro.” I remember those sandwiches very well because dream-me stared in baffled horror as people started to eat them despite this clearly being a Bad Idea.

Sure enough, within the next fifteen minutes everyone who had a meal of Johnny has puked him back up again and dream-me is facepalming. But the stomach acid did seem to be effective. So, with an exasperation I didn’t know I could feel in-dream, I asked “guys. Why don’t we get some hydrochloric from the labs?”

“Ohhhhh... Yeah, we could do that too.”

Which is how the entire college party gets even drunker because they needed a few of the kegs to dump both the acid and Johnny in and we watched that fucker dissolve into colored fire that provided the closing entertainment.

Now sipping on my own solo cup of probably-spiked-punch, I grin as the basketball buddies plop down next to me, watching the fireworks.

“Y’know, newbie?” Frank says. “You’re pretty cool.”

“Yeeaaaah…” the other basketball buddies chorus, still drunk off their tits while watching the fire.

“Thanks,” dream-me says, “I think so too.”

And that’s when I woke up to my sister blaring ed sheran in the living room at 9.30 AM with a volume that shook the floor boards. Thank you and good night.

#the basketball dream #jack rambles

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

Seeing a lot of the TERFs cry, “Girls and boys shouldn’t be allowed to play on the same sports teams!” and need to say something.

When I was little, I LOVED football (soccer if you’re American). Like I absolutely LOVED it and joined my primary school’s football club from the age of like five; when I moved up to junior school aged seven, I still loved football and joined the after school football club there until I was nine.

Here’s the thing: the football clubs at both of my primary schools were mixed gender - meaning the boys played with the girls, we had male and female coaches, and bearing in mind that my junior school was a Christian faith school, literally no one gave a shit if girls and boys played sports together. Our PE lessons were mixed gender as well, and we were encouraged to work in groups of both boys and girls. The real kicker here is that the clubs were for ALL ages at the school - so seven year old me and my seven year old friends (boys AND girls) played in the same club as the eleven year old boys and girls about to head off to secondary school. Were the Year 6 kids much bigger than us Year 3s? Yeah, some of them had already started puberty probably, eleven year old boys especially tend to be bigger than seven year old girls - but we played together, and we all had fun.

Anyway, by the time I was nine, I was the only girl left on the team - and I eventually had to quit because my mum got a new job and my neighbour had to pick me up on that day, and it wasn’t fair on her to pick her son up and my sister up at 3 only to have to come all the way back at 4:15 for me… so I had to stop going. Do you know what happened after I left? They made the team boys only - which meant no girls who joined the school in the following years were allowed to join.

“They could have just made a girls team” - there are five days in a week, and football is not the only club that needs to use a school field. The field was literally being used every day after school for one reason or another - and on top of that, there weren’t enough girls interested to warrant hiring another coach and organising a whole other after school club. Some of the parents did ask “can’t they just join the boys team?”, but they weren’t allowed because now it was established as “boys only”, and the boys who were in the club had learnt that they didn’t want “boring silly weak girls” playing with them.

Before this, those same boys didn’t care if I was on their team or not - but then they were taught that girls weren’t good enough to play with them, that girls couldn’t compete with them and were “weaker”. I couldn’t even join in football or basketball games at break or lunch anymore because of that.

So when the gender critical transphobes out there start talking about how girls and boys shouldn’t be allowed to do PE or sports together, because “men are physically stronger/better/more capable etc.”, they are parroting the exact same misogynistic rhetoric that prevented me from playing a sport I and many other girls loved - they are saying that girls aren’t as good as boys at certain sports, that we are weak and would be beaten by someone who is biologically male all because we’re girls and so that means we’re born “weaker”. If the “boys and girls shouldn’t play sports together” logic had been used in my case and I hadn’t been allowed to play with the boys when I was, I would never have been able to play football at all because “girls aren’t the same standard as boys”.

People come in all shapes and sizes; even when I was at secondary school, there was a boy in my class who was half my height and remained the shortest in the year all the way until we left school at 16. I could have easily harmed him if we’d played sports together - but according to TERFs, he had the “biological advantage” simply for being born with a penis. Sometimes women are bigger than men, sometimes we are stronger than some men, it literally depends on the person - you can’t generalise an entire group of people based just on what is between their legs.

TERF rhetoric has always been and literally always will be nothing more than sexism and misogyny dressed up as fake-feminism - and that’s on top of it already being based on racist and sizeist stereotypes too.

#rant #terfs dni #radfems dni #feminism #idk how to tag I’m tired and ill and going to watch some comfort shit before bed

[hoperays-song]

What kind of sports that our moon characters should be into could be anything there could excel at❓

Thanks for the ask! Here's a list of characters I think would be good at sports and the sports they'd be good at. Hope you enjoy!

- <3 Gooseless

-------------------------------

Johnny is clearly really good at skateboarding, so he'd be a good competitive skateboarder or probably boxer (his dad likely taught him a fair bit of it). Though I think he might have run cross country or something in high school because he thought it would impress his dad.

Ash, no explanation here, would be amazing at archery. Like scarily good at archery with no previous experience.

Rosita was a varsity volleyball player in college so volleyball for her. But she also did track and field in high school. She's really competitive too so she tries to do the best at all sports she tries (she typically does too).

Ryan is clearly a talented dancer and would easily excel at competitive dance, though I think he would also be good at cheerleading (a lot of cheerleaders I knew trained in dance as well) or ice skating (a lot of skaters also train in dance so it wouldn't be much more training than he was already doing).

Porsha is a decent snowboarder due to her dad taking her on skiing trips a lot (he strikes me as a very expensive vacation guy). She's had lot of practice over the years at a lot of really good resorts.

Nooshy also would be good at competitive dance and ice skating, I cannot imagine her willingly doing cheer though so that's gonna be a no. I do think they did do hockey as a little kid though, no idea why, I can just see it.

Gunter is good at competitive dance and ice skating canonically, but I think he'd also be good at tennis. For no real reason, he just strikes me as someone who'd like tennis.

Marcus is canonically good at boxing so boxing plus MMA. He probably taught Johnny a fair bit of boxing as well and has been boxing since he was a kid.

Stan is the same as Marcus, boxing and MMA. He's also been practicing since he was a kid but much more formally than Marcus was.

Barry however was a cross country runner in secondary school, so he's actually a really good runner. He's decent at boxing but is much better at running.

Buster can surf. His dad taught him since it was one of his favourite things to do when he was little. It is the only sport Buster can actually do without hurting himself.

Clay played a bit of basketball in high school as well as ran a bit of cross country but only for a few years. He's still decent at both though.

Meena can somewhat play table tennis decently, but not to like a professional level. She does enjoy it though.

Mrs. Crawly was an amazing swimmer when she was younger and was one of the best in her school when she competed.

***Yes, both Nooshy and Johnny are at least decent at football (american soccer), due to Johnny playing with his uncles and his neighbors growing up, and Nooshy with their siblings. They don't really claim that however since it was more of a cultural thing for them.***

#sing #sing 2 #sing johnny #sing ash #sing ryan #sing porsha #sing rosita #sing gunter #sing buster #sing meena #sing mrs crawly #sing nooshy #sing marcus #sing stan #sing barry #sing clay calloway #if anyone can guess which of these sports i did you're probably psychic #other than dance that is #are some of these based off their species? yes. is anyone gonna stop me? no #in my human au porsha also mentions that she did horseback riding for years #like the fancy rich person kind #soccer is huge in the uk #and johnny who is british and nooshy who is welsh canadian are gonna know about it #oh and eddie is great at e sports #that's pretty much everybody

[theanticool]

I’m just going to talk about the fights I care about for this Singapore card. Honestly, not a whole lot of technical aspects to cover. Feels like a lot of the fights are going to be one sided. Bear with me.

Max Holloway vs Korean Zombie - This fight is sad. While Chan Sung Jung is still a top 10-15 fighter at featherweight, this match up could easily turn into a 5 rounds of a too tough for his own good KZ getting pieced up by Max Holloway a la Holloway-Kattar. I can’t knock it too much as it was the fight KZ asked for and with him being open about the end being near, give him one last big fight. He deserves it. But I expect sad times.

Giga Chikadze vs Alex Caceres - I strangely like this fight. While Caceres lacks a level of physicality and raw athleticism to hang with the top of the featherweight division, no striker by Cisco Rivera has ever been able to put him away. It’s always been big strong wrestle-grappling types who have been his foil. That said, I expect the technical, athletic, and power edge to carry Chiladze to decisive victory. Unless Giga has spent the last 17 months actively getting worse as a fighter, I think he should take it.

Rinya Nakamura vs. Fernie Garcia - according to Tapology, I have seen Fernie Garcia twice. The fact I can’t remember anything about him and that he lost twice to some guys does not bode well for him. This is a fight meant to get the UFC’s next big hopeful star, U23 wrestling world champ Rinya Nakamura some cage time. But I’m interested in seeing what improvements he’s made since Road to the UFC. He’s been working at ATT alongside Kyoji Horiguchi and them. Guy has a bright future!

Erin Blanchfield vs Taila Santos - the first proper competitive fight I’ll talk about. Erin Blanchfield has only grown more and more confident as a striker in the UFC. While the technical polish isn’t there, the power and aggressiveness are. In contrast, I’d argue the biggest thing that kept Taila Santos from straight up beating Valentina Shevchenko in her last fight was her unwillingness to exchange on the feet. Her reliance on Valentina feeding her takedowns as opposed to being able to use strikes to set them up herself meant when Valentina stopped, so did her opportunities. That said, if Blanchfield comes out guns blazing like she did against Andrade, she could find herself getting tied up and taken down. And while her top game is impressive, we have seen Blanchfield lose a bottom side grappling match to a physically imposing opponent (Tracy Cortez) before. Granted that was 4 years ago but still. I’m excited to see what new things both women have been working on since the last time we’ve seen them!

Kenan Song vs Rolando Bedoya - Song had a more competitive fight with Ian Garry than Neil Magny, which will always be funny to me. That said, i think it’s fair after 25+ fights to say that we’ve probably seen his ceiling. A fun action fighter who can and will be folded by fighters who are either more experienced or athletically gifted. So this fight with Bedoya has me intrigued, because I don’t think he’s either. But what he has shown is that he’s got some Alex Morono in him. Bedoya has a lot of intangibles that fighters who make long careers in fighting without competing for gold have. Good defensive instincts. Fills space with offense well. A guy like Song is the perfect test for him.

JJ Aldrich vs Na Liang - JJ Aldrich is the quintessential example you point to when you tell people this is a sport of athletes. Cause technically, she’s a darn good fighter. Great job. Solid striking. Ok wrestling. But because she is not fast, powerful, or physically imposing, she will occasionally get her doors blown off by a more athletic fighter like Maycee Barber or Erin Blanchfield. Like Aldrich was winning those fights in a lot ways before the other women just decided they were done and went in for the kill. Against Na Liang, I think it makes for an interesting fight.

#ufc #mma #opinions

[menalez]

it's kinda messed up that these women, raised as women, think of themselves as women, do random genetic testing and discover they have genetic condition that raises their testosterone levels and now have to take drugs to suppress their own bodies natural functioning. I don't know their lives but if they didn't know before I doubt they went through male puberty or anything. idk how to feel about this. and yeah it's so weird that you see more African women affected by these bans. I don't think it's specifically racist but as a black woman I do flinch at the idea of investigating successful black women to see if they're secretly "men". like the racists who have a lot to say about Venus and Serena or Michelle Obama.

i also wondered to myself why it is that these women are all african and then i realised, its probably tied less to their race and more to the resources in their countries. most of the disqualified athletes come from poorer countries in east & southern africa. in the case of athletes such as caster semenya, her lack of ovaries and internal testes would have set off alarms in most developed nations as it would’ve been obvious that she did not get periods when she should have & thus around puberty would’ve probably been when individuals with similar intersex conditions would find out their intersex condition. some people have conspiracy theories that she must’ve known before etc but there’s no basis for that besides them assuming her being masculine in her teen years must’ve meant she was raised a boy 🙄 either way, point is, i assume that the reason a lot of the intersex women that were disqualified are african is bc women from other countries typically realise theyre intersex before getting to that point anyways. while reading on it, there was an indian athlete who was disqualified around the same time for hyperandrogenism at first as well (she was able to appeal it bc i think shes genetically female?) but she was disqualified by the indian sports federation, not world athletics like the rest. so it probably is also to do with their region/country’s sports association too. its definitely sad especially as it seems some wanted their intersex condition to remain private upon discovering it but world athletics publicised it anyways, its also sad bc i remember one of the disqualified athletes has a video in her village which looks impoverished & not developed whatsoever. for her, being able to compete at a competitive level was probably a dream come true and something that meant more to her than we could imagine.

as for whether they went through “male puberty”, the thing is with genetically male intersex women, they have a female phenotype because their body does not process testosterone the way average male bodies do. this means that while they dont have the same puberty development as non-intersex women, they likely did not undergo a traditional “male puberty”. that said, we dont know exactly how much of an advantage the higher testosterone gives them BECAUSE their intersex conditions cause their bodies to process testosterone differently from males. this is why i believe it should be determined by a case-by-case basis in the case of intersex women, instead of a general categorical ban on the basis of their diagnosed intersex condition. caster semenya’s intersex condition for example sometimes results in those with it to develop male genitalia around puberty…. meanwhile caster semenya has female genitalia. so how can we generalise two different developments within that condition? i think there should be more research on this & fairness should be upheld and that also means making these exclusions as fair as possible.

#anonymous

[mysterycharacterbracket]

Tiebreaker Poll #2

The following characters received 34 votes each. Because of the way the math works out, the top 4 characters in this poll will receive first round byes, while the other 5 will have to compete in the first round.

Character 1: Was smart, ruthless and a capable ruler, is often misrepresented by fans of other characters

Character 7: They're a squid. They're one-fifth of a monkey. They're a Demon King. They're an angel. They're a Reader. They're a character and they know it. They're a god. They're the most helpless being in the universe. They gave their entire found family trauma, that could technically classify as generational trauma. They manage to have mutually insane homoerotic relationships with two different people. They have three parents and three kids (in both cases, one is biological and two are adopted)

Character 77: He's a hopeless romantic. He draws his crushes during class. He gets turned into a supervillain and all he wants is to take his crush on a date. He ends up flirting with a guy later who likes his art, and his friends try to wingman them together. Misunderstandings happen, but he helps the heroes save the day by tying up one of them to a kite and putting a blindfold on them. Yes, it was wild. It's pretty much his awakening to liking boys. After the dust settles, he ends up working on an original project with the guy who likes him. They're almost always seen by each other's side after that. His partner drags him to gym class despite him hating sports and working with groups. He makes up a lame excuse and uses puppy dog eyes, and they somehow work. He's a mess but his partner finds it endearing.

Character 120: blue and likes hotdogs

Character 136: the most autistic serial killer i’ve ever seen. has daddy issues like you wouldn’t believe. may or may not be a shadow demon. sends strongly worded letters over tiny inconveniences. would probably say “🥺👉👈” out loud to someone he is actively trying to murder

Character 142: A crow, is tasked with killing some 'immortals' after some other crow stole his kill. Meets death themselves.

Character 230: A little guy! A socialist that was forced to join the capitalist system, but girlbossed so hard that he could retire early and uses his money to bring entertainment to everyone! So much transmasc swag! Loves videogames! Is very pro-piracy of digital media! An aroace icon! Orng.... fren....

Character 257: He's a petty criminal with a strong distaste for most forms of authority (with good reason; there's someone powerful out to get him and his family) and who is fully prepared to use drastic means if necessary to achieve his goals. His main goals, though, are just to love and keep safe the handful of people he really deeply cares for, and often enough those that they care for as well. In his mid-teens he left home to chase down a missing family member, with hardly anything in the way of leads, and ended up spending some time wasting other people's money on the purchase of information that ultimately did him little good. He's a momma's boy. For a brief time he was a clown. He's a constant provider of nicknames to people disinclined to appreciate it--then again, annoyance is what he's going for. He's a people person and loves attention, but can be afraid of it too, especially when it comes from a crowd; in the long term being in the public eye is not for him. He's brash and tends to mess up in the things he says; he's a handful and has admitted as much out loud. He's publicly insulted the love of his life (it was mutual). He's a fool for love and isn't put off by the death threats. He's participated in a scam engagement to help his crush inflate their fame. He doesn't know deeply, or necessarily even like, everyone in his friend group, but to those he does care for, he's the furthest thing from a fair-weather friend, and pushes back against their self-doubt and self-destructive tendencies. He's multilingual, from two different cities, and a child of immigrants. He tries to keep much of his identity out of the light, and he has supernatural power that is thematically tied to that. He has a particular hat he's quite fond of; he has big brownish eyes and he gets mocked for his height.

Character 270: Last of his kind, he makes his adoptive mother take in another boy. Now he finally has a friend and the boys have fun every day. Days turn into years and they are now teenagers, and he accidentally kills one of the boys who has bullied him his entire life, and runs away from home to find a country where he's free to be himself without fear, but he's caught by another tribe, these ones are after something else...

#mystery character bracket #round 1.5 #polls