#but now anyone can be a philosopher for free and share their ideas with the world

[batking-lich]

"i'm not like those Other People, i only consume Unproblematic Media™ with Good Representation™ and i don't like Irredeemable Media™"

"i'm not like those Other People, i don't like this Sanitized Media™, i only like Real Art™ with Bad Messy Representation™"

you are literally the same people wearing different hats the only things you disagree about are what counts as bad media and what counts as good representation

#bats makes a post #oh this ''bad'' representation you love was made by an actual queer person? depicting their lived experiences? #and/or you like it because it in some way reflects your own actual lived experience? so you think it's good rep then. #and this other queer media doesn't reflect your lived experiences at all? #and it feels too clean like it was made for straight people and not actual queer people? you might even go as far as to say it's... bad rep #''i don't like Show A because there's not enough good rep'' ''i don't like Show B because there's too much good rep'' #You Are Both Grown Adults Arguing About Shows For Children. You Are The Thing You Claim To Hate. #everyone needs to chill the fuck out and get some nuance and recognize this a giant community where everyone has different needs #and that we all have better shit to do than argue over ultimately nothing #and to be clear i'm not different from any of these people either! none of us are! we all like it when things are good #and don't like it when things are bad #and it's completely within human nature to argue over pointless shit so i don't necessarily blame anyone #back in the day you had to get books published and shit to be a philosopher #but now anyone can be a philosopher for free and share their ideas with the world #and that's wonderful! but god is annoying to read sometimes #(and to be absolutely clear i'm not coming specifically for people who love ''bad'' rep #those are just the takes i see more often due to content curation #and therefore the side of the debate that annoys me more because i actually see it regularly #and generally is the side i agree with more often in the broad strokes which Makes It Worse when they're annoying about it)

[normanbased]

TELL US ABOUT THE AU /nf

OKAY!! So as some base line context — It’s set a few months after Psycho II. Emma Spool doesn’t exist, Lila killed all the people who died in Psycho II (except Dr Raymond who lived). Norman and Mary essentially defended each other from Lila in the final fight and Lila is gunned down by the police.

If anyone wants to send any asks about my AU pls feel free to!! I’d be happy to answer them :]]

Mary and Norman are both injured and end up in the hospital for a little while with minor to moderate injuries. They both make full recoveries and over their stay in the hospital they really start to bond more — You know, bring each other snacks, talk in the middle of the night about deep philosophical life stuff, share fun drama about the hospital staff. Somehow, only after a few weeks, they’re able to laugh about things again.

Once they’re both discharged, Mary doesn’t really have anywhere left to go, so of course she sticks around with Norman. The two of them develop a sort of parent/sibling relationship and while Norman does his best to keep the motel afloat, Mary supports them both with different day jobs.

It’s clearly not working out, though. If the motel had low attendance before, it was even worse now after another stint in the local paper as the ‘Murder Motel’. Money is the lowest it’s ever been and if they can’t come up with a solution soon, Norman might have to foreclose on the business.

Mary is doing her best, but she suddenly has a lot of pressure on her to provide. They consider each other family now, though, so she’s determined to stick it out.

Then one afternoon, a certain Duane Duke’s car breaks down on the side of the highway. Like in Psycho III, he needs some place to stay for a while and takes up a job at the motel. Obviously he notices that the place is struggling, and starts formulating some plans to help out. It’s mostly just so he can get out of there faster, but he also has to admit that he feels a little sorry for the two of them, (not to mention he has a huge crush on Mary).

Duke uses his knowledge of the music industry to help Norman develop the Motel in a sort of event hub for Fairvale — There’s a pretty expansive portion of the grounds that makes a decent field. It’s flat, spacious, and easy to access. There’s enough open land to put on small festivals, music gigs, sporting events, fairs, and outdoor competitions. It’s slow at first, but it starts to make them a LOT of money. Norman isn’t so keen about all the traffic, but it’s better than nothing.

(It does mean that something different is on every other week, so there are lots of events I wanna write about them setting up :]])

There are a few conflicts that run through the general idea of the AU —

Mary doesn’t reciprocate Duke’s crush at first and that causes problems. His immaturity is a big issue for her that takes a while to be resolved. Eventually when she does start to have feelings for him, she feels inadequate. She also worries a lot about Norman, about his isolation, his mental health, and how Duke takes advantage of him at first (which is also resolved later). She is just as protective of Norman as he is of her, and won’t tolerate him being manipulated. She’s also grieving the loss of her own mother and it takes its toll on her.

Norman is very protective of Mary since he essentially sees her as a daughter/sister and he doesn’t want somebody like Duke to hurt her. He’s really on edge about Duke’s behaviour around her, so much so that he hardly even recognises when he’s taking advantage of Norman instead. Norman is also really conflicted about all the different business prospects the Motel is having because the whole process of commercialising the area frightens him. Deep down, he liked the peace and quiet.

Duke generally struggles with his ego, with accepting rejection, but also with accepting help and affection from friends, and expressing his emotions in a healthy, non-destructive way. He wants Mary, and, at first, can’t stand Norman. Eventually though, he and Norman sort of work things out and end up in a more amicable relationship than before. Usually all three of them are around when the Motel becomes successful, but Mary still juggles other work from time to time, which leaves Norman and Duke to hash things out and tentatively improve their friendship.

One image I have in my mind is like, Norman and Duke bonding during a power outage, trying to fix the generator, and eventually giving up and visiting Mary at the diner for some food and some company. They act super nonchalantly about it, but it’s a really big sorta “we actually really care about each other and enjoy each others presence” moment for the three of them.

The biggest conflict is probably when Duke announces he’s made enough money to pursue his rockstar dreams and plans to leave, which just depresses the fuck out of Mary and Norman. Mary has to fight with the decision to stay with Norman and essentially be left behind, or go with Duke and abandon Norman. It’s a lot for her. I still haven’t decided how I want that to all go down. I don’t want Duke to have to give up his dreams, but I want everyone to be happy 😭 hopefully I won’t have to end it on a “they’ll never truly be happy together like this” ending and make them all split up — but also… maybe a natural sort of “time is transient and people move on and memories remain” sort of ending might work well….

OH!! I also want Mary to be aspiring to go to college/university and Norman is VERY supportive because he never even got to go to high school, let alone college. He wants to see his girl succeed!! (I just want him and Duke to be her two guests for her graduation cheering like crazy and making a fool of themselves and embarrassing her while she’s on stage by being so loud but she loves them so much and can’t help but laugh 💖💖💖)

#if you saw typos or mistakes no you didn’t #psycho #psycho ii #psycho iii #au #crossover I guess!! #ask

[fernsandsunflowers]

Naming your Neurodiversity

I don't know if this will help anyone, but I want to tell you about Agatha.

A friend told me about their new trick to managing their depression that's been helping them a lot. They named their depression. I immediately loved the idea, and I had barely formed the thought "what would I name my ADHD" that the name Agatha fell in perfect place in my mind and there she was. Wild, feral and romantic.

I know techniques aren't universal but I never anticipated then how much naming her would help me, so I wanted to share it here in case it would help someone else.

Getting know Agatha, who she is, what she likes, what motivates her, has helped me be so much kinder to myself and just love myself. I used to curse and yell and scream at myself for my inability to function, but how can I treat Agatha that way? She wants to be wild and free, and run around and paint and make random things and rearrange the kitchen cupboard and eat funny tasting food. She loves stories and philosophizing and she wants to find out how things work and how words became words and what that specific plant she saw a week ago is called ("just describe what it looks like on google and if you don't do it right now I will absolutely die" - she's dramatic like that). She wants to go days researching a random thought she had while I was trying write my paper because "wouldn't that be so cool? and it's totally relevant to this paper, I'm sure of it". She wants to storm and rage at the world and revels in plotting petty revenges just for the fun of it. and she's constantly singing though she always forgets the words.

How can I be cruel to her? She's amazing and honestly such a great fucking time. So we hangout a lot now. We paint and philosophize and we start writing stories never to be completed, and order desserts and buy random shit online together. Everyday in my mind, I'm figuring out her personality -- I was talking to another friend a few days ago and we were talking about anxiety and depression and figuring out if these states are the symptoms of adhd or separate to it, at any given moment. And I realized my anxiety was not related to Agatha... anxious is not her.

I'm just doing so much better. I'm not tired and angry and sad all the time. When I spend a whole day getting nothing that needed to get done done, I'm not screaming at myself I just say, 'it's ok, Agatha, we'll try again tomorrow." When I'm completely paralyzed and I want to punch a wall again and again and again, I see Agatha in my mind curled up and crying because she's just having a bad day and she's overwhelmed and her whole body feels like it's being pulled by a hundred horses in hundred different directions - so I just sit down next to her and keep her company until it passes. In the long run, I don't really know if this will help me be more productive or be more functional. I'm working on how we can find a good balance. Agatha just has a different idea of productive and functional, I guess, and that's OK - maybe in the future we can come to a compromise, or maybe we can finally and finally find something where compromise isn't necessary at all. Especially now that I know her, maybe together we can figure out what that latter something is.

All I know is or what I've come to realize through all this is that I don't actually want to tie her up and lock her away - I don't want to compromise her. The world isn't her fault. We just gotta find a way to be that let's her be free.

This is all probably related to the defusion technique I was told about years ago in therapy, and 'would you say those things to a friend' and inner child healing and all the stuff that Inside Out was based on - I don't really know and I don't necessarily want to know the science behind the Magic. I want to let Agatha become whoever she wants to without adding technique to it you know? Which is honestly very in-character for her. Agatha, hates being told what to do and how to do things.

As always didn't intend for this to be this long, but no longer apologizing! I wish for you all to find your Agatha, and when you do, if you want to, tell me about them.

#adhd #neurodivergent #neurodiversity #mental health #self care

[chaoticgeminate]

Kelly—not a cafe ask but a request:

I would love some game recs. I’m a bit tapped/maxed out on Stardew (I’ve pretty much done everything in it, even with the big updates) but I loved that game, would be really interested in finding more like it (or just seeing what other people who liked that game have also liked)

If you wouldn’t mind sharing, of course 💜

I hope you’re having a lovely day!

Jess! I'm having an amazing day, we have a nice breeze (finally) and the sun is shining (which is a shocker here in England sometimes)!

I am delighted to share some of my favorite game recs with you, though I admit I have no idea what system you use primarily so I'll list some of my top 10 current favorite games (in no particular order) and why as well as what systems they can be played on as well as if they're on PC Gamepass 💙 I'll throw some honorable mentions on there too.

My Time at Portia [PC/Console/Mobile]: This game is a lifestyle simulation in the same vein as Stardew Valley except instead of farming you build new inventions and tech. Its set in a post-apocalyptic time where people are suspicious of a LOT of technology and like Stardew has one of the biggest varieties of romanceable NPCs if that's your thing. There are some light themes of religion vs science, but not to the point that it makes the game too philosophical. It plays okay on console but the company that Pathea hired to do the porting wasn't exactly the greatest so it can get really buggy, if you have a PC you'll get the best experience. (It IS available on Xbox game pass currently)

Catlateral Damage [PC/PS4]: So this game is literally just for fun. It's a game where you run around as a cat and your goal is to just destroy EVERYTHING. You knock things off counter tops, tables, bookshelves... it's one of those games you can turn on and play mindlessly to either kill time or work out your frustrations on imaginary dishes.

No Place Like Home [PC]: So this game is also a lifestyle simulation and like Stardew Valley it has farming as a core mechanic, but like Portia it's set in a sort of post-human scenario. In this one humans left the earth so trash ridden that they fled to Mars, your character comes back to find her grandfather and you recycle trash and actually clean up his farm and the local town (that's as far as I've gotten right now). It's a unique spin on a farming simulation.

House Flipper [PC/Console/Mobile]: As someone who can get lost for weeks if I boot up the Sims this is a very healthy alternative for me. So as you can guess the point of this game is to buy and flip houses, you can renovate them basically any way you want though paint colors and wallpapers are kind of limited. It can be very relaxing or very frustrating but I have fun playing around with designs and layouts with it and I tend to use it if I'm designing houses for fics. (Available on game pass)

Power Washing Simulator [PC/Xbox/PS4&5]: So this is one I jut picked up and only after I'd seen let's play videos on it, it's just an aesthetically pleasing game for me and I love the methodical work of powerwashing fictional things. It's another mindless game of turn it on and get the satisfaction of seeing clean lines carved through fake grunge.

Final Fantasy XIV Online [PC/Play Station]: While I have tried out numerous MMORPG games it is this one that speaks to me the best. The JRPG art style isn't exactly everyone's cup of tea and I get that, and it is a monthly service subscription if you aren't a free account so I won't try and shove it down anyone's throats, but the story for this game is absolutely phenomenal. You can play free up to level 60 and through the Heavensward Expansion, which is the base game and first expansion and still have an AMAZING experience.

Maneater [PC/Console]: Okay so I thought I was going to HATE this one. I have mild thalassophobia so underwater and ocean based games are usually a HARD pass for me. But I think since you are the predator in this game it was a bit easier for me to handle. This one is another mindless destruction game, you play as a shark and eat fish (and eventually people) to grow and level up with a crazy mutation side story and a shark hunter out to kill you. It's where my insane gamer!Pero emote/meme picture was born (I have a pink gaming chair and plan to get the Razer Kraken Kitty headset) (Also game pass available)

Subnautica/Subnautica Below Zero [PC/Console]: Right so these play more like a horror game to me (thanks phobias) but the landscape and the world of both of these games are stunning. I'm playing them very slowly and have watched let's play videos already, as well as tuned into friends streaming it, but the environment of these games are really truly just beautiful. Alien oceans and creatures, base building, resource gathering, and a really deep story in both of them. Below Zero is the sequel so naturally some of the functions are more fleshed out but they're both worth a play even if they scare the pants off me. (game pass available)

Stray [PC/Xbox/PS4&5]: I can't do this list without Stray, it is absolutely a newer game but I'm in love with it. There are some levels that squick me out but don't make it fear inducing, it's very puzzle platformer and one of the coolest dystopian worlds I've seen created. The robots are all unique, the cat is cute, and there's a dedicated meow button!

Raft [PC]: This is another game I thought I'd hate, even if it is a survival/building simulation like Minecraft, because... water. But honestly I actually really love it. You can get absolutely insane with your raft building, you can have animals and bee hives, it's honestly (to me) super fun to just go creative mode and see what sort of zany designs I can come up with to work out into survival mode.

Honorable Mentions: Undertale, Ori and the Blind Forest, Ori and the Will of the Wisps, Strange Horticulture, Among Us, Pokemon Sword and Shield, Pokemon Legends Arceus, Animal Crossing New Horizons, Chrono Cross Remaster, Atelier Ryza, Crash Bandicoot and Spyro Series' remasters

#ask answer #jazzysaurus rex #game recs

[rinatthemin]

Happy World-building Wednesday!

Been checking out your blog and stories on Medium and you have some really cool ideas. Would love to hear more about how you put together the history and religion for your world.

Did you already have the Saints and eras in mind, or did it come together as you worked on the individual stories and characters?

(Also, feel free to share any niche details you want!)

Ohhhh, thank you so much! These are some great questions, lots to chew on here.

The theology and religious history of the world is a big complicated can o' worms, and I've been trying to handle it in small approachable chunks as much as possible, for the sake of not overwhelming myself or anyone else. 😂 I'll give as much of an overview as I can!

The Aethereal Demesne is the dominant religion in terms of how it's treated as "default" by its prevalence throughout the world, largely as the result of conquest. It set the calendar and the year-naming system that the world is expected to adhere to.

For a bit of background, the world is the moon of a gas giant called Celes, and Celes is composed primarily of aether, an element regarded as the essence of the soul. The planet is believed to be the throne of the Aethereal Sire, who implanted his aether into the barren earth and became the originator of all life.

The Aethereal Demesne began in the Cennevos (an ancient empire in what is now present-day Veillagne) but only started down the path of becoming a global religion in Æ 1.00, when the process of expanding into other regions and displacing other gods began.

There are too many other gods and different regional faiths for me to concisely discuss here, but I can touch on the most important group of them which is the Tectonic Gods, or simply the Tectons. These were colossal entities of living earth and the "first" known gods of this world, having risen from its molten beginnings and sculpted the shape of the land as it exists today. They carried grand cities on their backs that served as the homes of Celestials, Sidereals, Abstractions, and other such deities whose descendants would become the spirits of nature and the demigods of humanity. The Aethereal global conquest (known as the Sireage) began in Æ 1.00 with the slaughtering of the Tectons and the ransacking of their holy cities, which were promptly abandoned by their citizens.

First Saint Satthoraius is the only one I've worked out in any particular detail, since it was his slaying of the Tecton Hadrythene (an event mentioned in the stories Coda and Nightfallen, and I'm also working on a deep dive into some related Cennevosian history) that began the Sireage and put the Aethereal Demesne on the map.

A Saint, once named, lives exactly 100 years from that day onward and he ceremoniously names the next one as his final word.

I really do need to cut this short but I would be remiss not to also briefly mention the two other "world" religions: the Dialectic of Krozurast, and the Yezamidic Khoryad.

The Krozeic faith conceptualizes all gods of the universal pantheon to be projections of a single consciousness, the All and the One. To be Krozeic is to engage with all known and recorded scriptures in rigorous argument, to resolve the differences among their discrete parts and find the answers in their synthesis.  

The Yezamids, finding the more philosophical theologies too slippery and most of the known pantheon too fickle and irrational to worship, base their faith instead on the mathematical records of the moving heavens, believing that to be the true language of divinity. They refer to this unknown entity as Khor, a being that exists in the negative space between all others, residing somewhere in the black depths of night between the stars.

(Of this triad of religions, the Aethereal Demesne is the youngest, but swiftly overtook its older siblings by way of its dramatic power grab. The Aethereal emblem depicts the religions and their respective domains as three pillars, with itself standing tallest in the center representing the Aether, Krozurast on its one side representing the Earth, and the Khoryad on its other side representing the Abyss.)

#ens and naught #worldbuilding

[kaznaths-thoughts]

Playing Old Worlds

The great thing about the day we all live in now is that there is so much good content out there that you can adapt to the games you like to play. I have a few recommendations of worlds from Dungeons & Dragons which have fascinating mechanical additions, class work, and can be found free online that I felt like should be shared for anyone looking to play with friends or in Hermit mode like I usually do. So, here they are:

Dark Sun: A post-apocalyptic world of mad-max esque adventure with dungeon technologies; Dark Sun is a survivalist campaign space in which the world is desert, water is precious, and everyone you meet could kill you. It includes features like accumulating followers as you adventure [leading to a chaotic sort of Domain play that is more like gang leadership], fun extra classes like Gladiator or Defiler, as well as interesting philosophic commentary to puzzle through in roleplay like the silence of the gods, science and its relationship to environmental destruction, and social darwinism. 

Ghostwalk: In a city at the end of the world, in one sense, adventurers travel to get in contact with the undead spirits who live there. The city there, Manifest, sits on the fault between the afterlife and the present reality, where ghosts linger until they are called to the other side. You can play as a ghost or as a human, with special mechanics for when you die - continuing to play thereafter as a disembodied spirit. Ghostwalk is fascinating as an expansion on the afterlife home of the Elves from Tolkien, encompassing all fantasy races and exploring concepts like desire, mourning, and obsession, as they relate to morality; as well as the moral ambiguity of lingering specters. 

Planescape: In the City of Doors, the city that unites the whole of the multiverse, planers are in a search for meaning in a multiverse full of adventure and death. Planescpae was the first to connect the D&D multiverse and TECHNICALLY still functions as the default location for every D&D campaign since it is the glew holding them all together. Planescape doesn’t have much new to offer in the form of mechanics, but has fun new races to play and a faction system that is gushing with role-playability. Philosophically it also has the most meat of D&D worlds - what does life look like when you can talk to God whenever you want? How does that make you think about evil? Or yourself? Or the universe? What does progress look like in life at the center of all worlds? How do you morally come to terms with primal plains where few living things can survive? Why would they exist? How do you come to terms with heavens and the hells, when you can visit? And so on.

These are great worlds for playing with friends and family as their worlds are interesting but also intellectually invasive. It prods hard decisions, good questions, and lots of stellar roleplaying scenarios - as well as pretty crazy combat. And they are great for Hermit mode as well - forcing you to think through complex ideas and how your character would rationalize the worlds they happen to live within.

#Dark Sun #Ghosts #Spooky season #dungeons & dragons #5e #sword & backpack #solo rpgs #worldbuilding #d&d 5e

[mvsicinthedvrk]

Was that [JU JINGYI]? Oh no no, that was just [LU JUNYI], a [CANON CHARACTER] from [THE WATER OUTLAWS]. They are [TWENTY SIX] years old, use [SHE/HER], and [ARE NOT] aware that they are not actually from Washington DC. Too bad they can’t stray from this city for long. {ooc: ollie!}

so, a basic summary of lu junyi is that she's a bubbly, wealthy socialite on the surface, but insightful scholar underneath. she actually uses her money for good, but also, she has an unfortunate weakness when it comes to not wanting to step on the wrong toes or make enemies of the wrong people, so she's somewhat easily influenced to give in to pressure. more details below!

how long has your character been here

you can assume she's been here for a number of years!

what is your character’s job

i am also still working the specifics here lmao but i'm also considering her very much just being independently wealthy, trust fund sort of deal. sickeningly wealthy in fact

but although she doesn't get paid for it, in her free time, she distributes political and philosophical material that she collects/writes/prints, in all sorts of pamphlets and zines she designs.

she also lowkey runs a series of bail funds in the city, to get people out of jail who are wrongly imprisoned, or who are actually criminals but who can't afford bail for whatever reason. this is one of her many philanthropic projects.

where has your character been pulled from in their fandom

pre-novel, so, the events of the book haven't happened yet. if she was aware, she would still be establishing her status and reputation!

has any magic affected your character

she's lost her memories, but other than that, no!

and any other information you might find useful for us and the other members to know:

she often goes by lady lu! she's unaware, so-- i'll be looking for lots of connections for her hopefully, including:

a fake family! any kind of family, so if you have chinese characters and need either immediate family, or distant relatives (cousins, aunts, etc?) let me know!!

other wealthy society friends who would keep her company at the many charity dinners and business dinners she'd be invited to!

friends of any sort to join her in what are probably a million activities (she's definitely the sort who'd try a little of everything, painting class, self-defense class, knitting night at the library, karaoke on a friday night, all types of events)

junyi's very idealistic, so she could use friends or neighbors who she can try to be a good influence on, or perhaps try to get them to be a little more optimistic :)

other 'intellectuals' who would come to her social gatherings and share ideas! she'd love to meet scientists, engineers, artists-- anyone who's an expert in their field. she herself has a super intense interest in scientific advancements, but she never studied it properly, just read a lot of theory

please someone give her a girlfriend! in the book she's from, she pledges to remain unmarried to a man and instead openly lives with a permanent 'house companion' as her girlfriend. she would be a good partner, though her one weakness would be that she's always busy so all of her bustling around sometimes gets in the way of her personal relationships

people who would have needed bailing out of jail and couldn't afford it, or who would have needed to track down some sort of bribe money in order to get themselves out of trouble, because she's great at offering large sums of money under the table without asking for repayment later. this could also include anyone who's searching for funding for charities, independent projects, etc who she could be a financial patron for.

and that's about it for now, i'll add more if something comes to me later!

#;; ljy ;; #hw: intro #;; lu junyi: intro ;;

[allthingsfook]

hi! could i get a ship!

my name is holly. i am 4’11, and plus size! my hair is very curly.

now about me! i would like to think that i am hilarious, i love to make people laugh. cracking jokes is one of my strong suits. to add, i really like helping people. i am the friend that people will seek out to get advice about anything and everything, and i will give it to them without judgement. i am a big home body, but i like hanging out with friends too! my favorite place to hangout is the bowling alley or the movies! (i love movies! my favorite movie is ghostbusters 1984) my love language is academic validation. i love school, and i love to learn. i’m in college studying forensics and chemistry and i adore it! i wish i could go to school forever. i think with my love of learning comes my “toxic trait” though, as i put far too much pressure on myself when it comes to school. i strive to be the best, and often times i become my own worst enemy (especially with over studying and all that jazz). my proper love language would be words of affirmation. i think academic validation and words of affirmation go hand in hand honestly. when i’m not reading science books, or studying in some way i’m probably drawing! i really like to draw, and as much as i love studying science, i really miss having the free time to draw more. and finally, my star sign is sagittarius, and for the most part i think my traits are pretty on the money as far as the stereotypical sagittarius traits.

thank you so much for doing these!! :)))

Hello Sweet Holly!!! I ship you with….

Daniel Robert Wagner 💜

I toggled back and forth between Sammy and Danny, but good thing is if you were with Danny, Sam would also be near. No doubt you all would get along!

To preface, I don’t usually like to mention anyone’s physical features because I believe none of the guys have a ‘type’ or judge those on their looks. ALTHOUGH imagine you and Danny pampering each other on Sunday nights, doing each others curl routines! Oooof! The way he’d massage product into your scalp and whisper in your ear 😉

You and Danny share that comforting personality that others gravitate toward when they need a rant sesh and/or advice. Not only are you both the calm, you can be the storm too! Not in a bad way of course 😆 More like life of the party. Movies… bowling…. You got it! I can imagine Danny, you, and the rest of the guys frolicking about the city looking for a good time. Ending up at the bowling alley, drinking the bar dry. You can imagine how that night ends 🍻

I think Danny is most likely to be down for a movie marathon. All those nostalgic 80’s movies 🍿 Danny would set up a little homemade theatre experience. A blanket fort on the living room floor. An assortment of your favorite snacks. Twinkle lights strung around the room. He lives for seeing your face light up at his surprise date ideas.

Danny would be incredibly proud of your academic accomplishments and love for learning. I think that would be one of the things that he boasts about the most when he talks about you to others. How smart and inquisitive you are 💕 When Danny decides to bring you home to his parents for the first time, he makes extra special attention to tell Dan and Lori about your education. They would find that impressive.

Aside from your academic career, your creative outlets would spark Danny’s interest as well. He’d come up behind you while your drawing and hug you warmly, admiring your work. If you were critical of a piece, he’d frame it and hang it in plain sight so you learn to love it just as much as him 🎨

Lastly, the mighty Sagittarius (I’m bias, because imma Sag too) No doubt there is a sexual connection between Sags and Capricorns, but I think your characteristics mesh well. You are likely honest/direct, humorous/adventurous, intellectual/philosophical… Danny, as a Capricorn, is honest/direct, loyal, ambitious, sensitive… it’s all about balance, baby!

I hope you enjoyed Holly!

#greta van fleet #peaceful army #gvf #danny gvf #danny wagner #daniel robert wagner #gvf ships #gvf imagine

[blzzrdstryr]

Chrysalis

Yandere!Albedo x gn!reader

Wordcount:2115

CW:Yandere themes

Working for Albedo isn’t that bad - the payment is good, the knowledge he provides is even better - a chance to delve into exclusive alchemical research with a widely acknowledged genius is a far more valuable award than any amount of mora or jewels could ever be. Said prodigy isn’t an awful person to work with either - he’s polite and well mannered, careful not to offend anyone even if his words can be cold and cutting sometimes. Most of the time Albedo is a pleasant company to be around, if one would turn a blind eye to his quirks.

For instance, he has a weird and frankly unnerving habit of staring at you - his teal eyes track your littlest movements as you set up an alchemical apparatus and prepare needed solutions. At first you thought he was overseeing you, checking if you had made any mistake as a fledgling alchemist, yet this hypothesis was quickly disproved when you caught him gazing off working hours. You never voiced your complaints - you wanted to keep your job and study, and maybe he is too socially blind to see how his behavior could be received by others.

Today would also be a great example of an alchemist's lack of tact - he requested you accompany him everywhere for the last few weeks, taking you from the cold heights of Dragonspine to sunny and bustling streets of Mondstadt. You two are sitting in the corner of his laboratory designed for rest and food and share a meal: two portions of his favorite fish, despite being nothing more than the employer and employee or teacher and student.

Albedo doesn’t seem to get or mind what kind of rumours he causes with this seemingly blatant favouritism before you, no he looks as calm as usual as he plunges into the dish with fork and knife.

“[First]”, he says, after the first bite: “Have the aches stopped bothering you?”, a hint of concern and something else. Two or three weeks ago you developed a strange soreness in the different parts of your body - wrists, neck, heart, legs - it would appear suddenly, burning and throbbing and making you gasp, leaving you tired and nauseous afterwards. No one could find the source of the problem, not even Albedo, yet after some time these far from pleasant sensations got subdued, easier to bear and endure.

His hand reaches for your left wrist, thumb caressing the skin, and he pulls it closer to his face, eyes examining the sore spot. You don’t protest, stunned by his sudden action.

“Hm, that’s”, he mumbles, more to himself than you: “that’s good”, he concludes, letting go of your limb.

“What’s good? Did something change?” you inquire, instantly forgetting to take offense at his grabbing.

“You could say that”, Albedo ambiguously says and returns to his fish. You ask the alchemist what he meant, but all you get are even vaguer answers and long silence in the end, as he finishes his meal and nudges you to start your own sunshine sprat.

In the end your questions remain unacknowledged, as Albedo leaves displaying you to accompany him. Surprisingly he heads for the gardens instead of the library, his step light and fast. “Master Albedo” you start, seeing that alchemist is in his creative mood again: “shouldn’t you bring an easel or sketchbook with you?”

“No, [First], I don’t intend to draw, not now. This walk is for me to get some inspiration”, Albedo quickly replies, still walking ahead: “In this time of year the environment changes so rapidly, it provides a mind with a lot of good ideas. You should come with me too, alchemy is a science of change, creation and destruction and nature is better at these three aspects than any of us”. He adds, seemingly sensing the next question you would ask.

He walks near the bushes, teal eyes focused on the blooming fragrant flowers, before he squats, pushing some of the wigs back.

“[First]”, he turns his head in your direction: “you should come and see”. You comply, curious what has caught Albedo’s attention, squatting near him and looking at one of the inner branches usually hidden by others.

It’s an ordinary dark cocoon. You almost turn your head again, before the slightest of movements catches your attention - it’s an insect trying to break out. Chrysalis cracks and deforms as a fledgling butterfly makes way past it’s confines. One second and it stretches its wings, revealing a vibrant blue coloration, the next it leaves it’s former cell entirely, elegantly soaring into the air, it’s azure wings lazily flapping, as it makes its way to the other bush.

“Fascinating”, Albedo breathes out, eyes still on the disappearing figure of the insect: “It transformed to such a great extent”.

You hear a hint of excitement in his voice - he wants to share his thoughts or knowledge then - and nod, prompting him to continue.

“Did you know that a larva needs to literally dissolve itself to reach the next stage of its life? After caterpillar finishes its cocoon, it produces enzymes that turn most of its tissue into a liquid matter and only after that does it rebuilds into an entirely new form”, he turns his gaze back to you, usually cold and thoughtful eyes now warm and dreamy: “Sometimes, I think humans are meant to metamorphose too”.

“How so?” you ask, tilting the head.

“Humans, despite all complexity and intelligence, are still fragile creatures. They’re prone to sickness and ailments and in the end old age ends those who managed to evade death before. Wouldn't it be better if one could go through metamorphosis, be reborn free from pain and hunger and constant threat of passing away? Those humans could live on forever and dedicate themselves to the higher cause without having to worry about dying and suffering".

You raise eyebrows, surprised by the sudden “outburst” - Albedo, despite his partially philosophical nature, has never shared his inner thoughts so freely, not to you at least. He, either out of embarrassment or deep contemplation, shifts his eyes somewhere behind you, and you turn back, following his eyes. He looks at the statue of Barbatos.

Tall and proud, it looks magnificent in the day’s sunlight, golden rays making it glow and shine with the fairness of the marble. Looking at this epitome of unchanging vision, you suddenly get an answer to Albedo’s thoughts and you voice it out the same second:

“Wouldn’t it negate the meaning of life then? Nature breeds diversity - the reason why we have so many flowers is because some kinds aren't adapted to particular conditions and so they change, producing entirely new types of plants. Eternal and undying beings, unconcerned with the earthly matters would have no need to reproduce and pass on its features to the next generation, depriving the world of thousand possible combinations. No new life would be created if the old one could be perfectly sustained".

"That's how you see it", Albedo replies, placing a now empty husk of the cocoon inside your palm - the testament of the nature’s miracle, the testament of one's ability to change: “I’ve witnessed many wonderful sights for today”, he adds, still looking at you, surrounded by flowers and flying butterflies, light breeze playing with your hair and sun illuminating your whole figure with a gentle golden glow.

You part with Albedo shortly after - he closes himself in the lab, before checking up on your sore spots again, quietly mumbling something to himself the whole time. You head for your house and open the alchemical textbook, studying it until late night. That place on the wrist slightly throbs at every movement.

Only when your eyelids fill up with lead and thoughts slow down from the general fatigue you allow yourself to head for the bed, falling asleep the second your head touches the pillow. You see phantasmagorical dreams - of you being a bulging and large larva, spending days simply eating green leaves, until a strange urge overcomes your entire being and you start to build something - a cocoon. Now, surrounded by pitch black darkness you feel a burning sensation - enzymes, enzymes that will dissolve your tissue. Pain quickly escalates and you want to scream and cry, but you can’t - you’re an insect you don’t have vocal glands or tear ducts to do so. Who could have known that butterflies suffer so much?

You writhe and squirm, caged by your liquifying body and hard chrysalis around you and you are in so much agony you want to die.

And then you wake up. All sweaty and distressed you grab at your wrist - it hurts so much, your entire body is on fire, it seems that you have another episode of that strange soreness. You quickly rise to your feet, snatching the painkillers from the nightstand and downing them with a gulp of water. As medicine begins it’s work you lay in the bed again, ready to fall asleep and forget the midnight pains, as you see something that makes your breath hitch and heartbeat fasten from fear.

A strange greyish white discoloration on your wrist in the same place that used to throb this evening. You touch it and it leaves a dry white imprint on your fingers, it also doesn’t have any strange smell.

You rise and quickly dress up, barely suppressed panic and anxiety dispelling the last remains of sleep. The walk towards the Favonius HQ’s is short, especially when you break into a sprint on the way. He is here, he is working into the night today. Quickly passing sleepy knights you climb on the second floor and almost run to one particular door, loudly knocking at it.

Just as you expected, there’s a sound of footsteps and soon a familiar voice asks: “Who is here?”.

“It’s me, master Albedo”, you say, feeling how the pain returns despite the painkillers taken: “you said to report if something changes, with my aches. It changed”.

The words you say and desperation accompanying them prompts alchemist to open the door, as he gestures you to come in, and shut the door as you do so:

“Strip”, he says, mind back to the analytical mode, you comply, feeling ashamed with every second Albedo continues to observe you: “Wait, there’s something on your neck”.

A cool touch to your skin, a short yelp, another burst of pain. You fall on your knees, blinded and deafened by sheer agony. Alchemist produces a distressed noise, walking up to your collapsed figure and carrying you to the nearby table.

He pushes alchemical apparatus away, turning the table into a makeshift bed, and gently lowers you down. “[First]”, his hand card through your hair, while the other nudges a mug with some brew to your lips: “There’s nothing to worry about, your metamorphosis progresses as it should be”.

“Metamorphosis.. What are you talking about?”, you ask, panic creeping into the question. Alchemist looks you straight into the eyes, an eerie smile blooming on his face as he hears it: "Isn’t it obvious? You're going to change and I will help you with that".

“Change?! Change into what?”

“Into a better version of human of course. Do you think I would let you get old or sick and die? You’re too dear to me to do that, you should live and experience a life free from human limitations”, for the first time in your life you’re terrified of him. Albedo always seemed so knowledgeable and calm to you, like a wise wizard from the childhood fairytales, yet now he looks mad and devoid of any humanity:“You shouldn’t worry about these stains, they will disappear once your transformation is complete. Those are just chalk you see, a side effect of your tissues changing over the weeks”.

“When did.. When did you start it?”, you croak out, sensing the agony returning and growing again. It hurts so much I can barely think.

“Dragonspine. You were eating with me”.

You want to insult and accuse him, yet another wave of pain renders you speechless, short huffs and whimpers escaping you as tears start to stream down your face.

“I understand it can be very stressful to you, given how change of this scale is always carrying a great risk”, his voice adopts the same philosophical tone: “The purpose of cocoon is protection of the soon-to-be butterfly from the external harm and influence that could lead to other complications and we don’t want any of that”.

He cards his hand through your hair again, a mockery of a concern dyeing his next words: “You shouldn’t worry, I will be a good chrysalis to your metamorphosis”.

You black out from pain.

#yandere albedo x reader #Yandere Albedo #yandere genshin impact #yandere genshin x reader #Yandere genshin #Yandere genshin impact x reader #Male yandere #Yandere x reader #Yandere #male yandere #my writing

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E123 (Feb. 2, 2021)

After last week’s thoroughly relaxing and brief episode, tonight’s guests are Sam Riegel and Liam O’Brien!

Brian, to Sam: “You look like Tim Curry moved to Nantucket to become a sommelier.”

How did Caleb and Veth approach the ally-ship with the Tombtakers? Sam: “I mean, we got some information, and I think we got a little closer to Lucien and knowing whether he has any of Mollymauk inside of him, which is I think the most important knowledge that we’re seeking right now. Is there someone to be saved inside there? We got glimpses, and we got a little hint that Mollymauk is maybe still in there? Maybe? And we got a little more insight into their plans, so that was useful.” Liam: “We know why we were having that fucking dream.” Sam: “But other than that, it was just a road trip with assholes.” Liam: “All our plans have been ripped in a new direction, and it’s just been improvisation.” Sam notes that it feels like we’re always about to rip into Caleb’s backstory, but haven’t yet followed that thread all the way through. Liam: “It’s partially frustrating, to be sure, but also I like the idea that-- his whole shit has been selfish, it’s been dealing with the trauma that he’s been through and not the greater world, and that’s been shifting somewhat.”

Does Caleb think the book was worth it, and is he still interested in reading more? Sam: “How do you ask Caleb not to read a book?” Liam: “Caleb has spent enough time with the Nein to know you shouldn’t put a hand on a hot stove. After what happened with the book, he knows it’s a terrible idea. But maybe. But it’s a really bad idea. But reserve judgment, but it’s a really terrible idea. I think that Caleb is very aware that mages and people like him very easily fall prey to their curiosity and it can lead to bad places. But there is still that amount of scientific endeavor where you think there is value in knowing and learning, and maybe we can ride that line. He was True Neutral at the start of the campaign, and maybe he’s Chaotic Good now, but part of him is hubris, even if it’s a little bit, still.”

What about Otis has drawn Veth’s focus? Sam: “I mean, he’s a little shit. She was curious about Otis because he’s a small like she is, and in talking to him, he seemed to be real creepy, but he was just creepy and distant and didn’t value his past or family or anything like that. She sees someone who’s like her, but so not like her, and maybe that scares her a little bit more.”

How does Caleb feel about Beau being on this ride with him? Liam: “The dream is another example of how Caleb had very narrow vision of the things he wanted to do. It used to seem so massive to him, but now... To have Beauregard involved feels right. If anyone in the group is going to stop him from grabbing something he shouldn’t, it is probably Beauregard. She’ll punch him in the fucking face to stop him, which I think he needs, to a certain extent. They’re two different kinds of nerds, and I kind of like that, that this group of nine philosophers, they’ve reached out and somehow grabbed the two nerds in the party.”

How do Caleb and Veth see the Somnovum? Sam: “I mean, they seem real bad. Anything that’s a quorum of powerful entities heading towards your planet to unleash an energy of any kind, typically bad? I assume they’re bad, or at least the Tombtakers wish them to do ill.” Liam: “I think they want the kind of peace that comes from snapping your fingers and turning people to dust. Caleb sees them as a cautionary tale; they’re the worst-case scenario for arcane inquisitiveness.” He sees Allura Vysoren as the antidote to that.

Why the staunch refusal to use Halfling Luck? Sam: “I don’t like Luck! I just don’t like Luck. I think it’s cheap, I think it’s a cheat, I think it’s stupid. It just feels like a do-over.” Liam: “I am your antithesis! If I ever voice a halfling, I am going to hammer that feature!” Sam: “What I love about D&D is that you don’t know what’s going to happen. If you roll bad, okay, that’s it. If you roll well, it makes the success more enjoyable to know that it’s a pure success and don’t one where you’re like well actually... it’s so stupid. If someone was about to die, I would probably use the fuckin’ Luck feature. Well. It depends who. If it was Travis, yeah, no, he’s fucked, sorry.”

Liam drops that he’s picked Sam’s character class and race again for a hypothetical campaign three. Sam: “It’s not what I was thinking for future characters, but I’m excited to explore.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Mollymauk by KatofValkyrie!

What was it like to bring the Tombtakers into the tower? Liam: “It is complicated, because he does not like him. Lucien’s just a fucking dick. But Caleb also knows that Molly’s in there somewhere. That tower’s only for the M9, and Lucien’s not in the M9. Their situation with these people is shitty, it’s terrible. Caleb doesn’t feel like they have the upper hand. He doesn’t like that they’re even going on this journey per se, because life is bigger than his bullshit. He feels like they’ve been losing over and over again, so it was a gamble to try to get on equal footing.

What spurred Veth into making sure she and Yasha have some one-on-one time? Sam: “Yasha hasn’t been getting a lot of moments to shine. Now that she’s back, I just got the impression that Yasha feels out of place sometimes, or timid, or unsure of herself. When Veth was Nott, Nott certainly had her share of those moments. I think she sees a kindred spirit and wants to make sure that she’s been giving all the opportunity she can to flourish and thrive. Dani, you’re just laughing at my mustache, aren’t you?” Dani: “Yes, that’s the only thing I’m laughing at through this whole bullshit.” Sam denies all knowledge of trolling, but eventually admits, on the topic of Yasha and Beau getting together: “They’ve made me wait this long... I’m going to make them wait a little bit longer!”

What was it like to show his friends the upper floors? Liam: “I kinda expected somebody to sneak up there before that. That being part of the tower is not even a conscious choice of his, it just is. The reason Caduceus has creeped Caleb out for a long time is because he talks about how-- Caduceus is a really kind person and wants Caleb to let go of the past. And in a really simplistic way, turn that frown upside-down. And that’s just not who Caleb is, and it’s not who everybody is. There is something to be said for trying to stay open and positivity, but thinking you can shut out the past, especially a traumatic one, is just not true. When things happen to us, we carry them. But to candy-coat it and say, ah, I’m free, or everything is good, or I’ve turned the corner... life is way messier than that. It’s not flipping a switch, it’s not bad-to-good, it is such a work in progress. Even when you make strides and start to get to a better place, you can backslide a lot. So the tower is who he is, and the tower is 7/9ths love for his friends, and 1/9th hope, but there’s still a percentage of him that carries everything from the past, and knows that he should, and knows that he should not go back to where he was. And the way to do that is not to say everything is rainbows, but to remember it. The tower is just like an extension of who he is. He’s never going to forget the past, and he’s never going to be like, I’m good, or I’ve turned a corner. He should remember the past, and he should do better, always.”

Does Veth still believe it’s possible to get Molly back? Sam: “Well, she was a person trapped in another body for many years, so has some experience there, and definitely believes that the spirit and soul of Molly is in there and just needs to be unlocked somehow.”

Fan Art of the Week: an amazing group shot by HarpySN!

How are Caleb and Veth dealing with their guilt and fear about being in the middle of this? Sam: “It definitely was a deep conversation that might have repercussions going forward. The problem with all of what we’re doing now is that we don’t have time to deal with our petty problems anymore. It’s all high tension all the time!” Liam: “It’s true; they’re not in control of their situation at all anymore.” Sam: “It’s good to have these check-ins, but it’s not like we can do anything about them. We’re reactive right now.” Liam: “He’s not happy with where they are, but they wouldn’t even be this far if the goblin hadn’t pulled him out of the mud. So part of it is, you saved me from where I was and got me on my feet again, and now it’s disconcerting to see it all just get knocked sideways by something he never could’ve predicted. I think Caleb felt nostalgic for when things were simpler, in a way, for them, when we’re both troubled drifters.”

What was it like to see Gelidon’s return? Liam: “I am the least superstitious person at the table. Ashley’s dice suck.” Sam: “It was fun fighting a dragon!” Liam: “Two massive battles in one episode, neither of which came away with a victory. I guess surviving is a victory.” Sam: “I’d forgotten about the dragon, honestly.” Liam: “I loved it. I was so upset at the idea that we were going to stealth and not get into it.”Sam: “Mercer doesn’t keep a live dragon around and not do something with it. That dragon’s coming back.”

How do Caleb and Veth feel about going to see Essek? Sam: “He can be very helpful, I believe, but as Sam Riegel, a player of D&D, I’m super suspicious. What the fuck is Essek doing up there, so close, now? I don’t trust him as far as I can throw him. And I can throw him pretty far because he floats.” Liam: “I 100% agree with you. I do not understand what Essek could bring to what we are going through. I know the audience loves him, I love him too. He’s a really cool character. But he’s fucking toxic. He out of curiosity caused a war between two nations. And Caleb has been changed for the good by the M9 from months of travel with them. Essek has had none of that. Caleb has changed for the good, but not because of people like Essek. Essek is where Caleb came from. We kept the lid on the pot during the whole treaty at sea and it almost all went fucking sideways, and only because we pressed him into a corner. I hope that guy finds some sort of balance and peace for himself, but I do not see how his input here would be helpful. There’s other heavy hitters that I would try to pull in.”

Liam notes that the Cloven Crystal is in the Bag of Holding. Sam: “Do I have Fluffernutter, or is Fluffernutter gone?” Liam: “Nope. 300 pounds of fireworks? Gone. A dead mage, a threshold crest, and fireworks.” Dani: “Your basic essentials.”

#critical role #critical role spoilers #talks machina #talks machina spoilers #long text post

[smallblip]

Hi ♥ I'm so sorry for asking this but my mind has been a mess since I read the last chapter. But if you have the time and idea will you share your most fluffiest headcanon/fanon of the aot characters. It could be all levihan or anyone really. Of course, if you want to that is cause I know I may be asking for way too much. But I just can't conjure anything right now. You could also link me with anything if you can't (I'm actually saving your latest fic for this very reason. So so excited to read that one) Sorry to bother you. Wishing your day is better than mine ♥

Oh bb! There there! 💖 It’s okay! And no need to apologise! I love thinking up HCs! God the last chapter sounds like a real trip... here are some headcanons for you (this is a complete mess because I’m a messy bitch), but I hope they make you smile! Some might be really ooc, haven’t read the manga!

If anyone’s upset about the chapter and want more HCs hit me up (spoiler free, as always💖)! I have more!

Hanji sneezes like a dad. Like full on HAXCHAAAABWAAAAAA. It makes everyone jump. It also earns a few shrieks (Hanji you can’t do that they’re all traumatised kids). Everyone except Levi who just deadpans. “At least cover your mouth dipshit...”

Erwin does not know how to respond to anyone’s jokes but his own (save for a few notable mentions). If you tell him a joke he likes, he’ll go on about it for days. He’ll bring it up to everyone (occasionally unknowingly appropriating it as his own). Nobody finds his jokes particularly funny. He also doesn’t know how to respond to Levi or Hanji’s banter. With Hanji, he often responds by chuckling affectionately. Like how you would a puppy. With Levi, Erwin can never really tell if he’s being serious, so he just responds with a “uh... yeah... Alright...”

Erwin and Mike have matching tattoos. They got it during a really messy night out after an expedition. The tattoo is really bad, really cheesy, Hanji probably egged them on. Nanaba sighs every time she sees it.

Moblit is a lightweight. Clingy when drunk. Also gossips a lot. Erwin takes advantage of this and Nifa/Nanaba has to step in.

Nanaba receives the most valentines! She gets many from the cadets as well. (I think this is Canon somewhere?) Also Hans and Nans link arms all the time you can’t tell me otherwise.

Reiner is that friend who asks for advice in a roundabout manner. “So I have a friend... And he recently developed a crush on this girl right... But back home, he had a boy who wouldn’t stop tormenting him you know? Like an actual bully. But he just... thinks about his bully sometimes and wonders how he’s doing... What does that mean?” And Jean is always right on his bullshit- “means you’re a raging bisexual, Reiner...”

Jean has ONE pickup line he always uses on Mikasa when he’s drunk (with no recollection of ever using it). “Remember me? Oh, that's right, I've only met you in my dreams.” And Mikasa is so used to it by now she finishes the line for him when he’s midway through (“in your dreams right?) and she’s always amused when he just gapes in shock.

Levi discovers Armin’s pet rat one day during a routine check. He’s mortified. He fuckin hates rats. And the rules are clear- no pets. But Armin is sniffling and he can’t deal so he gets Hanji to deal with “the infestation”. Hanji sighs and goes through the rules with him- no pets, Armin. And Hanji thinks goddamn, this has certainly come full circle. She remembers the many pets she’s smuggled into the bunks during her cadet days and she softens, whispers to Armin and tells him tips and tricks to keep them a secret. Ratticus lived to a ripe old age of 5.

Levi has a standard way of comforting the kids. He’ll make them tea when they’re visibly upset. He’ll set it down in front of them wordlessly with a biscuit (special ration) on the side. If it still doesn’t work, he’ll ask them if he needs to get Hanji.

Sasha and Mikasa have a thing where they’ll talk to one another like noble ladies. “Could you pass the sugar, Lady Blouse?” “Have you heard about Connie’s foot rot Lady Ackerman? Absolutely ghastly business...” they gossip like that too. Sometimes they put on their best dresses at night and just sit around their room, talking and doing one another’s hair.

Levi and Hanji have their own thing where Hanji would play different roles and Levi just... goes with it? “A long day at work bringing home the bacon and I come home to this mess?! Where’s my back rub woman!” And Levi responds seamlessly with a “if you spend half the time you spend at the pub at home you’ll know how hard it is to keep a house”.

Connie has moments of sheer genius that leaves everyone stunned. It comes and it goes. One moment he waxes philosophical, or comes up with some complex strategy, and the next he’s everyone favourite idiot again. “And... He’s back...” the rest would say.

When they had been kids, people used to mix up Jean and Eren all the time. And they used to respond with a very disgusted “I’m Eren/Jean you idiot!” But now they’re older and they look radically different so people get it right but it’s a running joke for Jean to say “I’m Eren you idiot!” And for Eren to say “I’m Jean you idiot!”

#levihan #jeankasa #levihan hc #jeankasa hc #104 #vets hc #Reiner Braun #Mikasa Ackerman #Jean Kirstein #hange zoe #Levi Ackerman #Mike zacharius #Nanaba #Erwin smith #Eren Jaeger #Sasha Blouse #Armin Arlert #moblit berner #Connie Springer #sakurasmoon #mine #inbox #shingeki no kyojin

[starseed-twenty]

Houses determining an 'age stage' 🔮

Okay, so this is a random long post, but.... do you ever think that perhaps the houses in our charts represent the stages in our life? From birth to death? Cause I do.

So basically... the first house (the ascendant) is our energy as soon as we leave the womb. But through life and its dynamic changes, our energy can change into the traits of the sign in the following house because circumstances drive us into having that sign's traits/vibe.

Personally, I'm starting to believe that each of the houses in a person's birth chart holds a stage or period of time in your life where your energy is more focused in that area/house. That's why you'll hear for example "if your 4H is in Sag, you most likely grew up in a carefree home"... cause at the time you were growing up, your energy was focusing on the 3rd and 4th house. And so you transcend into Sagittarius energy because it is in your 4th house.

For example, a person with a Capricorn Ascendant. At birth, they're calm, reserved little babies, who tend to get upset pretty easily. Until they get a little older (around 3 years old) and start developing these Aquarius traits/energy because of their 2nd house [unless Capricorn is in both 1st and 2nd house]. But once they get to an age where they're making sense of the world and developing a sense of being and being aware of the things they have, this is their 2nd house age stage activated.

Okay, so let me put it like this:

1st house age stage [birth to around 3 years]: Since the 1st house is the house of 'self' and revelation (or showing yourself) to the world, this is how it correlates to birth and being a newborn. 1H rules beginnings, the body, and approach to life. The sign you have in 1H is the sign you act as in your approach to life from the beginning to the end. [Side-note: This is because every house you enter that stage in is carried on with you until you're old and die. So you don't necessarily let go of the house because you're in a new age stage, but it merely becomes dim. It's there, but it's not ruling like the age stage you're currently in].

2nd house [around 3 to 6 years old]: This is the age or stage when you're making sense of the world and develop a sense of being and becoming aware of the things you have, as I mentioned. So you're basically becoming conscious about yourself, whilst adapting to the values, possessions, and skills you have. So the sign you have in 2nd house is how you handle that. For example, if you have Capricorn, you're more stern, careful, and calculative about all the possessions and skills you hold. You normally put those things at a high standard, and it can take a while for you to attain certain things because Saturn (Capricorn's ruler) encourages you to earn all that you have.

3rd house [7 to 10 years old]: At this point, you know who you are, what you have, and how you normally approach life. In trying to develop yourself a bit more, you look around you at who the people around you are. 3rd house is Gemini's house, and Geminis are very conscious beings; of people, things to learn, and their word (a bit too conscious, and that's where the 'two-faced' cliche comes in). So this age stage then comes with using the mind a lot. Learning stuff and getting ideas, speaking about them, knowing what friends are and being close with siblings, if any, and sharing stuff. The sign you have there is how you acted through all of this.

4th house [10 to 13 years old/puberty]: This is when you start grounding yourself and knowing where you come from, who your real family is, the foundations of your soul's intentions (life path), and where you feel secure.

This, I would say, is the basis or core of a person and who they eventually become at their peak or in the public eye. So if they grow up in a home that isn't too stable, they grow to oppose that to become more stable in order to bring balance [because 10th house is the 'aftermath' that's opposing of the 4th house]. So the sign you have in this stage is the sign you live out as [e.g, Sagittarius 4th house had a more free-spirited way of living in their pre-teen age].

5th house - [14 to 18 years old]: Now this is where a lot of us begin our adolescence age, and this is because the 5th house comes with this 'being a teenager' energy. 5th house is about creativity, hobbies, exploring, romance and love affairs, self-expression, and drama. A whole lot of drama. We dramatize the things we go through, our bodies and its changes, things that happen at school and at home, and sometimes the 'situationships' we're in. Everything's just such a story. And that is 5th house energy in act. The sign you have in 5th house is how you'd find yourself going about all of these things.

6th house - [19 to 24 years old]: At this stage, you've seen the world from your perspective and played around with your interests & hobbies, so you come to a point of either wanting to capitalize/profit from those hobbies or talents, or settle on simply trying to make money to become stable because now 'you're an adult'. So with that, you're more focused on working, routines, productivity, and self-improvement. For some, body changes also occur here because the 6th house is also about health and body.

Now the sign you have in your 6th house is most likely how you'll make that money or what your career will be like. For example, a person with Gemini in 6th could pass off as a Youtuber, Instagram Influencer, perhaps a Tiktok star, or anything in a field of communicating to people and spreading ideas or trends in a cool way.

7th house - [24 to 27 years old]: After developing yourself, your career, and your financial health, you then find yourself wanting to settle down romantically and start creating a home. So here come relationships becoming more serious, sharing stuff (your ideas & values going forth, your assets, and your whole life) with someone, and basically getting the real feel of marriage or long-term pairing. But the 7th house doesn't only rule love, it also rules partnerships, contracts, and alliances. So how you are one-on-one with people and merging with them is your 7th house influence at play. The sign in your 7th house is how you present yourself through all of this.

8th house - [27 to 30 years old]: The 8th house is a pretty complicated house, but nonetheless it's very good for growth [through changes]. At this age, many experience events that bring depth or deeply felt peak experiences. It's as if it's this rebirth of some kind where you rediscover yourself. From another standpoint, this is where there's more depth in a relationship/marriage, joint ventures or goals coming together, inheriting some money or assets, and also perhaps feeling really sexually liberated or just simply getting to the point of procreation (and this why most people have or picture having kids at this age). From any of these standpoints, the sign you have in the 8th house is what comes out the most as your energy.

9th house - [31 to 35 years old]: This is the age of you finding the true meaning of life and what your beliefs and values are contrary to what you've been taught, but really establishing your own and sharing them with your significant other or/and children.

This is when you're most philosophical, and have a bit of time for journeys, travel, expanding your knowledge, your taste/style, your beliefs, etc. This is why when you look at a lot of people at this age, they're a bit more settled down on who they've become and there's more of a visibility of what their life is about. The sign you have here manifests as the vibe you give out. For example, a Cancer 9th house more or less has nurturing and maternal energy at this age. They have this motherly or homey vibe towards their expanded mental state in a way where they feel like they have a lot to teach and it comes from a compassionate perspective.

10th house - [35 to 42 years old]: Once you're at this age stage, you're pretty much at the peak of your life because this is when all that you are, where you come from (your roots and home), who you've established yourself as and everything you've worked for reaches its final stage and becomes the real end phase of who you are. Anyone who starts knowing you at this stage can navigate the type of person you are (from your past) and not have a reason to think you'll still change into new characters. There's nothing much to come up with after this as you're practically done creating yourself. All you do now is mainly enjoy the fruits of your labour whilst simultaneously working on the career you been building, and also maintain the public image you've established. Your authority, your power, and your achievements are at their peak here. So the sign you have here is how you show all of this.

11th house - [42 to 50 years old]: This is when you're growing old and out of your peak. You're still a valuable part of the world and play a good role in people's lives, but you're basically leaving that zone of only focusing on yourself and you instead focus more on helping the community or leaving a legacy. The 11th house is about humanitarianism, social/global awareness, the community, social groups, end goals, and the future as a whole. So as you're more focused on these things because you're at the age where there's nothing much else to do but help out and be a great member of society for your final years. The sign you have here though can determine how you act out in all these instances. Cause if you have a Sagittarius 11th house for example, then you could be quite youthful and lowkey a rebel against societal norms. So in you helping out the community, you let people to see this vision that's a different version of norms. Like normalizing stretch marks or bringing a new genre or idea of music or wearing clothes that are weird at first but end up being quirky and cool.

12th house - [50 years old to death]: And at this final age stage of life, you're about to transcend out of your body and purely to your soul, so your soul innately/naturally starts feeling connected to its end stage where it's about to retreat from the world. This could be through last acts of service to humanity, deep connections with spirituality, healing, contentment, confinement, self-reflection, understanding karma, and dreaming. These all occur the most once you get to this age. Depending on the sign you have in this sign, you could experience a deep or light transcendence when you get to this age stage.

BUT - huge disclaimer:

The ages vary according to the maturity of a person's life. So for example, for one person, Cancer is in their 6H but they only start developing into their Cancer age stage at 21. At 19 or 20 they still present their Gemini age stage, because everyone differs, including the maturity of their age stages. So they feel more Cancer at an older age.

So... it depends on your life.

But this is most of the route or path of life many people go through.

Also, I'm starting to believe and see that wherever Cancer is in your house is where you feel pretty maternal/paternal, or you're just really loving and caring towards the people around you.

And wherever Leo is in your houses is most likely your shining point or prime of your life; things work out for the best for you at that Age Stage.

For example, Beyonce has her 10th house in Cancer and right now she's pretty much experiencing her 10th house age stage cause we can see how she's pretty maternal and motherly. Cancer is also pretty emotional so we've seen that after the whole cheating saga, she released all her emotions through an entire album. And Angelina Jolie has Cancer in her 1st house, and like I said 'the sign you have in 1H is the sign you act as in your approach to life from the beginning to the end', we can see how she's always felt pretty maternal, so that's why she's grown to have a lot of children (by even adopting some).

Another example, Rihanna having Leo in her 5th house, that's when she was practically discovered (16). And Kim K, she has Leo in her 9th house and that was when she was at the peak of her fame, from 2013 onwards, when she was beginning her 30's. And Ariana Grande has Leo in her 8th house, which I'd say is the age stage she's in currently, considering how she's the female pop singer that's topping charts the most lately.

So, conclusively, this is why I'd really think Age Stage in the houses is a thing.

And if you are trying to understand why your life is going hella sad and boring for the past 4 or 5 years, try and look at the sign in which your Age Stage is at in the houses. Cause it could be Pisces, Scorpio, or Capricorn. [Their rulers] Saturn, Pluto and Neptune can bring tense and deep energy that can make life pretty hectic. But, there are also profection years, so you can look at those too.

#Age Stage #Houses #1st house #Ascendant #1H #2nd house #2H #3rd house #3H #4th house #4H #5th house #5H #6th house #6H #7th house #7H #8th house #8H #9th house #9H #10th house #10H #11th house #11H #12th house #12H #aries #taurus #gemini

[multifandomwhore-003]

Untitled

Pairing: Anyone x female! reader

Synopsis: Me ranting about my crush, aka me overthinking about them SO LOOK AWAY

Genre(s): smut, angst, fluff

Warnings: mentions of family violence and abuse, slightly mentions of masturbation and sex, mentions of drugs and drinking, mentions of death and grief, mentions of s*icide

𝙼𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚗

REQUESTS CLOSED

THIS IS NOT FREE USE, YOU CANNOT USE MY WORK

Reblog if you like

-They're gentle, so very gentle, mostly when no one sees them, because you know they've been in pain before and now they don't know where else to be like that

-Since they lost their best friend, same as you, you bonded with that, and that glimpse of vulnerability was everything you needed to finally realize who they truly were, not just that but the sympathy and sprinkle of compassion you shared confirmed they wouldn't judge you, let alone push you away because of how fucked up your house environment is

-An old best friend of theirs committed suicide and now... now you can understand the attitude, and the jokes, and the laughs

-It's not that they don't like to take things seriously, but they rather not, to never get hurt again

-They're kind, they may look like an absolute idiot, but they're very kind, messy, childish and spaced out? Yeah, sure, but they're heart's made of gold, you just know

-They like to hang out around you, you confirmed it by the way they were kinda persistent to include you in his circle of friends, in their games, jokes, conversations

-Their relationship with their current best friend is probably the most platonic yet lovable thing you've ever seen, I mean, there's a reason you call them 'Thing 1' and 'Thing 2', they're attached to the hip

-But the surprise she had on her face when they told you about their grief confirmed they're not close emotionally, in fact they both like to avoid their problems, probably not a good influence to one another

-First day, first day you met them and you already wanted to fuck them, to be fair, you sex drive was really high that week

-It's now day four and you've masturbated to the idea of them lord knows how many times

-In your defense, they makes sexual jokes all the time confirming they're a switch just like you and oh my god isn't that the hottest thing ever?

-Speaking of similarities, YOU BOTH SHARE THE SAME SUN SIGN, GOD YOU'RE SO ALIKE BUT ALSO... SO DIFFERENT

-You've always wanted someone to get you out of your comfort zone and they're literally made for that, ok maybe you don't have to follow their not-so-great habits like drinking, smoking weed and tobacco, but they're actually somewhat free

-Like, their best friend told you that she lives on the other side of the city from them and they hang out all the time, which is great because your mom is always persistent about you not getting too far away from home when you're out, main reason why she never lets you out

-Not to mention they're also THE perfect combination of your favorite fictional characters

-They deep down have the nerdiness of Peter Parker, on the surface the stupidity/cluelessness and looks of Adrian Chase, they have an unexpected philosophical drive of Druig, most of his personality resembles JJ Maybank's it's actually kinda scared how similar they seem to you, and the power to make you breathless of Annie Edison by sometimes just being them

-Your friend who did you a Tarot reading described them a little too specifically, but remember they also said that both of you have to learn and grow before you finally get together, which will be worth the wait because it showed you a very healthy and long-lasting relationship, so be patient

-You're both after the same career, COINCIDENCE? I THINK THE FUCK NOT

-You want the same things for so very different reasons, you're the same person in so very different fonts

-Could they be something special? maybe?

-Like- everything aligns to perfect not to, right?

#crush #Lia's ✨down BAD✨ —🥀 #smut headcanons #fluff headcanons #angst headcanons

[mindmeltonabun-blog]

Doom At Your Service: Analysis & Theories for EPs 9-10

Anyone mentally exhausted from watching DAYS? Well, you’ve come to the right place where I do the thinking for you, so you don’t have to! As always, if you have any questions, feel free to click on the ask question button! Happy Readings !

The Contract Revisited

While reviewing the contract, I realized there was something major that I had completely missed! Anyways let’s go over the contract again to clear up some confusion.

The Contract is as follows:

1) Dong Kyung must ask for Myul Mang to destroy the world before she dies (It could be rephrased as Dong Kyung must ask for Myul Mang to destroy the world before her tentative expiration date)

2) During Dong Kyung’s last 100 days, Myul Mang will prevent her from feeling any pain

3) Myul Mang has to grant her one real wish

4) If Dong Kyung breaks the contract (does not wish for the world to be destroyed) then the person she loves the most will die

If Dong Kyung does not violate the contract as in she wishes for the world to be destroyed, the person she loves dies anyways because you know.... the world is non existent. If Dong Kyung does violate the contract, meaning she does not wish for the world to be destroyed, the person she loves dies too because her doom is transferred to them. Some have also wondered whether she can has to ask for the world to be destroyed in order to get her one real wish to be granted. In my opinion, I don't think so. I think she can still get her one real wish to be granted regardless of whether she wishes for doom upon the world or not. Other things to note is that nothing will happen to Myul Mang if he does not stick to the terms of the contract (i.e keeps Dong Kyung pain free and granting her one real wish) because as Dong Kyung said "If I violate" not "If either you or I violate".

Now something to pay close attention to is #4. In Ep 2, Myul Mang had said he would take Dong Kyung’s doom (brain cancer) and transfer it to someone she loves. This is the part I missed! I’d thought that all Myul Mang was doing was transferring the death that was meant for her, not that he was actually removing her source of death which was her brain cancer. Therefore, if Dong Kyung breaks the contract, she will live because her brain cancer is removed and is subsequently transferred into the person she loves, causing them to die instead. I feel incredibly stupid for missing this important piece of info. In light of this new info, I will therefore retract my previous theory that Dong Kyung’s one wish will be to cure her brain cancer.

For those who were confused by that scene of Dong Kyung going to the beach and staying away from everyone, here are my thoughts on that. Dong Kyung was trying to find a loophole. The loophole was that she was planning on violating the contract while protecting the people she loves. This means that Dong Kyung was planning on ending herself at the beach (you can't wish for doom upon the world if you're already dead) and accepting her doom (her doom can't be transferred to anyone else because she accepts it in herself).

Who’s Going to Get Dong Kyung’s Brain Cancer and Die?

I recently had a eureka moment a few days ago before Eps 9-10 aired that led me to formulating a new theory -- it's actually Dora who will inherit Dong Kyung’s brain cancer and die. Let’s think through some things first, “the person you love the most will die”. The most obvious choice is Myul Mang. However, if you think about that statement in a more abstract way, you can see that if Dong Kyung loves her life, then the person who will die is Dora. Remember that Dora is basically the personification of life.

To further add evidence that supports this theory, I present to you Exhibit A, Dora’s massive nosebleed. We know Dong Kyung has a rare type of brain cancer and it’s located in her frontal lobe. As days pass, the brain tumor is growing or metastasizing. In theory, the tumor could grow into nearby areas such as her nasal cavity and cause Dong Kyung to have nose bleeds (FYI: In real life, I’m a scientist with experience in the field of oncology and most of the time brain tumors don’t grow outside of the brain. It can happen, but it is very rare!). Now, think about the events that occurred before Dora's nose bleed. For example, Dong Kyung was out and about enjoying her time with Myul Mang and her family and friends. Essentially, Dong Kyung was beginning to love her life. This causes Dora to suffer because she is taking in Dong Kyung's illness into herself. Subsequently, this leads to Dora experiencing some of the symptoms of Dong Kyung's brain cancer (e.g nose bleed). Thus, as Dong Kyung is beginning to live, Dora is beginning to die.

Exhibit B: Adventures of Pinocchio. At the end of the story, the Fairy (Dora) heals an ailing Geppetto (Dong Kyung) as a reward for Pinocchio (Myul Mang) becoming a good boy. Following this, we don’t hear much about what happens to the Fairy except that she’s in laying in a hospital on the verge of death. It is implied that in order to heal Geppetto, the Fairy had to take his illness into herself. Afterall, nothing is without consequences, someone must pay so that others can be happy. Much like the story of Pinocchio, Dora is doing the same thing as the Fairy. Dora is taking in Dong Kyung’s illness so that Dong Kyung can freely love her son, Myul Mang, without consequences (e.g Myul Mang dying).

Exhibit C: Dong Kyung walking around like she didn’t have brain cancer while in seclusion. You would think that since she didn’t see Myul Mang to recharge, she would be experiencing some severe symptoms, but nope she was walking around as if she was cured! I wonder where her cancer went.......DORA!

Exhibit D: Dora telling Dong Kyung to be madly in love and live. Basically Dora saying, "Love my son and live, don't worry about your brain cancer or him dying because I'm taking care of it."

Why Dora Didn't Want Myul Mang To See Her

For those wondering why Dora didn’t want Myul Mang to see her, here are my two cents. One explanation is that Dora probably didn’t want him to figure out that she was inheriting Dong Kyung’s brain cancer. It would’ve made him feel guilty to see that his mother was willing to take on even more pain just so he could be happy. Another explanation is that Myul Mang still has a lot of growing up to do (to become human). Dora didn’t want him to get the idea that he’s out of the clear just yet. Meaning if Myul Mang had found out that Dora was doing this for him then he would’ve thought life was a breeze now and have no further motivations to want to grow, thus ruining Dora’s plan for him (to grow up to become a good human). There’s no better motivation to make someone grow than the thought of their love ones dying.

Final Theory on Dong Kyung’s Wish

In my previous post, I had discussed that without knowing the limits of what one could or could not wish for, it was difficult for me to accurately predict what Dong Kyung’s wish would be. However, in this week’s episode, I was finally given the limits: the wish must be a wish that is doom in nature. I thought to myself, what could be a good thing to end? Oh, that’s right, Myul Mang’s immorality. Dong Kyung must say “I wish for your immortal life to end” or something along those lines. The combination of Dong Kyung’s wish + Myul Mang’s willingness to sacrifice himself for her + Dora’s plant = the rebirth of Myul Mang into a real boy....oops I mean real hu-man.

The Ending of DAYS

So, what kind of ending will DAYS have? Prepare yourselves. I think it’s going to be a bittersweet ending because it goes with the one of the main themes DAYS which is dualism. I think Myul Mang will be reborn as a human, but still have his doom responsibilities (so more like a fake human). He will probably end up becoming like Dora in the sense that he gets to experience the cycle of life and death over an infinite amount of time. Dong Kyung won’t be reborn in his next life cycle (remember Myul Mang tells that crazy lady there’s no afterlife; humans only have this one life). I guess the notion that the love he and Dong Kyung share will always be with him and forever serve as a shining beacon even in his loneliest days is sweet, but still I want a happy ending!!!

Now excuse my language, but to hell with dualism and what is logical! I want a happy ending where Myul Mang becomes human, lives with Dong Kyung, and when he dies that’s it. No coming back to doing his doom job in a different life. Dora can create another herald of doom. Dora did it once before and she could do it again lol. Or if Myul Mang must come back in a different life, at least allow Dong Kyung to be reborn at the same time. I mean you can grow the same plant again…. EVER HEARD OF PROPROGATION DORA?!! Metaphorically speaking, if Dong Kyung is a sunflower, then wait until she dies, harvest her seeds and grow her again…. it’s that simple Dora!!!

Some Thoughts on the Writer of DAYS

The writer (Im Meari) of DAYS is at best, pretentious and at worst, derivative. She’s more or less just rehashing the works of other great philosophers (Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, Deleuze, etc). She presents DAYS as a collection of major philosophical concepts with the intention to differentiate herself from that of other kdramas writers. She goes onto placing great stress on the idea that in order to innovate or bring about a new beginning, one must deviate from the norm, yet she herself does not diverge from the ideas of other philosophers. She does not present any philosophy of her own. In this aspect, she is a hypocrite to the very ideas she tries to preach. Oh well, to each their own. Who knows, maybe my opinion of Im Meari will change by the end of the series. Anyways, I’m still here for the romance between the actors and actresses and solving mysteries!

Ep 11 Preview Predictions

Here are my predictions for Ep 11 based off of the preview, they may or may not be correct !

Dong Kyung takes back the bracelet from Myul Mang after their conversation on the beach. Honestly, I’m growing tired of this whole giving/taking the bracelet type situation lol.

Dong Kyung enjoys a nice vacation with Myul Mang on Jeju island.

Dong Kyung returns from the vacation because she finds out that her aunt is sick (probably from worrying about Dong Kyung). Dong Kyung beats herself up about it.

Dong Kyung is sick again (probably from hating life...remember that I had theorized that the more Dong Kyung loves her life, the sicker Dora will be become) and Myul Mang in his desperation pleads with Dora to help him, but Dora’s version of helping him is to …. surprise surprise… teach him another lesson. The lesson is that the grass isn’t always greener on the other side and that Myul Mang and Dong Kyung complete each other for the better. Dora shows Myul Mang what their lives would've been like if they had never existed in each other’s lives.

Dong Kyung having never experience any kind of suffering would live a healthy life but become the most unappreciative and spoiled person ever. She may go on to finding that life was pretty meaningless and would want to put an end to it all. And Myul Mang having never met Dong Kyung wouldn't have any motivation or desire to grow as a person and so he would remain stagnant. And who knows… maybe at some point, that Myul would’ve became so angry with humans that he would personally go around killing every last one of them.

#doom at your service #doomatyourservice #myulmang #Myul mang #dong kyung #dongkyung #kimsaram #Kim saram #DAYS #parkboyoung #park bo young #seo in guk #seoinguk #kdrama #kdramas #theories #analysis #long post

[tsunderedoctor]

Love Languages: Quality Dwellers Pt 2

Last part guys! If I missed anyone you would like me to add please feel free to send an ask! This was a fun series! 

Bartolomeo

This guy loves doing everything with you! Just loves the idea that you accept him and want him around! He shows his love the best by just hanging around and wanting to experience and see everything you see!

Will be pretty stalkerish (think Juvia Lockser-) at first until you approach him and let him know he can be more open and follow you around without hiding about-

He will lose his mind when you go out of your way to spend time with him! And will go even more crazy if you plan a whole day together! Once you mention one word of being down or upset the man has like your whole schedule shut down and you two will do so many fun things together!

Marco

Due to his chill nature he enjoys the simple things in life and doesn’t really care much about materialistic behaviors or extreme shows of emotions. Just help him clean up the medical office on the ship or go shopping for supplies with him and the man will be drawn to you.

He likes to talk to you as you guys do things together and loves to learn new things about you and your opinions on philosophical aspects of life. Also loves to have fun debates with you and play some minor jokes!

I can also see him wanting to play games or group activities with you; he just likes the bonding experience and seeing your reactions to winning/losing!

Bartholomew Kuma

Such a good baby ugh-!

He’s a quiet guy who enjoys just being in your presence. He doesn’t like to use his words unless he must and he really doesn’t give me the action/doer role either; he just really likes being near you and seeing you, well being you!

He’s an observer so he loves to watch you do your own thing and see what you might create in your own little word. Whether it be painting, singing, writing or whatever hobbies you do he just finds it fascinating to watch your face concentrate and look determined. 

Will suggest you guys go out for a walk into nature or spend time together when you are feeling down; if being with you helps lighten his day than maybe the same works for you too? If not, he will try to find other ways to let you know how much he cares for you!

Nico Robin

Our archeologist loves to relax together after a crazy day of being with the Strawhats! Whether you two are reading or just talking about your guy’s day she finds the downtime you two share the best moments of your relationship! 

She wants to know more about you and uses this time to learn about the things you like and dislike. She knows that at times she is not the best girlfriend/s/o, but she tries and wants to use this time to show you just how much you matter to her!

It might seem like she is just harassing you for questions; but again she just wants to make sure she remembers every detail you mention so when the timing is right she can bring those details to life for you!

Vinsmoke Reiju

Another quiet babe who tries her best to be a good girlfriend! She didn’t have the best example of what a couple should be like growing up so she sometimes struggles with other forms of communicating her love; but she does know she likes to be with you; and maybe that alone can show you just how much you mean to her!

She finds it rather cute when you request her attention and she can’t deny she doesn’t want to give it to you; she should be the one requesting it! 

Will do whatever you ask or want to do! She doesn’t care how silly or lame others might think it is, if you want to do it, she’s going to do it too!

Just loves seeing the smile on your face and seeing your eyes light up and wants to see every moment she can!

Koala 

Due to her past as being a slave it takes a lot for Koala to trust her s/o and show her love for them as well. I can see her as both this and acts of service (on the giving end rather than receiving). Koala doesn’t do well with her words nor her actions when it comes to expressing her love, she also views gift giving to be superficial again due to her slave background.

Time is something that isn’t tangible as well as something that isn’t forced upon someone. It’s something Koala can be in control of and have that control to give or take. It’s reassuring for her that she can enter or leave the situation as she sees fit.

She does enjoy your time together however, but she can’t help but find herself using old coping skills in order to manage these strong emotions; she loves you, she just needs your help in order to show that love!

Viola 

Believe it or not I see Viola as a quality time girl rather than a physical affection girl. My reasoning comes from her relationship with Dolfamingo. We know Oda said they were “very close” and he didn’t want to go into detail, but I feel this closeness was for survival rather than by choice if that makes sense-?

I think that her relationships now will be much different because the physical love that was forced on her in that relationship has led her to have some trauma towards physical affection. I just want to say to this is just my opinion and I have no idea what anyone’s love languages are I am just basing them on how I see them-

Anyway- she sees quality time as something more harmless? Similar to Koala it’s something that she can control; this gives her that comfort she needs that both parties are in a equal field of power, no one can overpower her. Another girl you are going to have to work for, as in to help her bring her guard down due to trauma!

#tsunderedoctor #my thoughts #not ask #one piece #one piece headcanons #bartolomeo #marco #bartholomew kuma #nico robin #vinsmoke reiju #koala one piece #viola one piece #sorry this took so long #it's been a week

[ddaengtae]

in the in-between || bbh

pairing: byun baekhyun x reader

genre: friends to lovers, new year’s eve!au, slight angst, fluff

word count: 7.4k

summary: you had never been a fan of new year’s eve.  something about the illusion that once the clock struck midnight, the past would be behind you and everything would change for the better never sat right with you because it never turned out to be true.  yet every year, the holiday provided a sense of false hope that maybe this year, things would be different.  maybe this year things would change between you and baekhyun for once and for all.

a/n: well i finally pushed myself to write something after nearly 5 months and the result turned out to be none of my initial ideas and very mild compared to what i’ve written before.  not totally content w it but it is progress and it is complete!!  it’s been a bit so my writing is a little rusty, but happy new year everyone and i hope you enjoy. :)

There had always been something rather paradoxical about the concept of celebrating the brink of a New Year to you.  The night of New Year’s Eve itself was at conflict with itself; the idea was to cheers to leaving the past behind, but doing so often led to much indulging in nostalgic memories of the exact year that everyone was aching to leave behind.  The premise had always been to throw one last grand celebration to celebrate the accomplishments of the past 365 days and drown out all of the past sorrows with some deafening music and a bit too much to drink.  After one last hurrah surrounded by the ones you love most and an alcohol coma bound to keep you knocked out until the next afternoon, the blanket assumption was that all would start anew and everyone would at last conquer their greatest fears and commence accomplishing all of the things that they had been putting on hold for far too long.  

Yet every year it felt like a sham to you.  Too many January 1sts had you woken up with a mind-numbing hangover and the overall sense that despite all you had pledged to change the night before, everything still felt precisely as it had in the previous year.  Sure, you and everyone around you would follow their lackluster resolutions of going to the gym more or eating healthier for a month or so, but once the pressure and urgency died down, so did the effort.  In the end, there was no substantial change.  It was almost like being stuck in a gridlock; despite wanting out and craving for something more, you could never bring yourself out of the stalemate.  Maybe your typical resolutions were too safe.  Maybe you were just too secure remaining in the cozy comfort zone you had resided in for most of your life.  Regardless of reasoning, New Year’s Eve had always felt like a sort of in-between dimension; a place where both the past and future existed both at peace and in conflict of each other for just one night, and a space where they both could be deemed as of the utmost importance or a pointless memory of the past.

“If your New Year’s resolution is to be the life of the party, you’re going to be off to a bad start,” a sarcastic chide and a bubbly laugh broke you out of your lonesome philosophical pondering.  It was only once a shoulder was playfully nudged against your own bare arm that you snapped out of your trance and realized that you had been standing in the abandoned kitchen for long enough to be noticeable, cradling a half-downed glass of champagne in one hand and your cracked cell phone in the other.  It was only then that you noticed Baekhyun popping your personal bubble and bringing you back to reality.

Baekhyun.  How ironic for it to be him of all people to interrupt your contradictory New Year’s Eve stupor when your relationship with him was perhaps the best analogy of all for your perspective on the holiday.  The pair of you had felt an immediate connection upon being placed in the same orientation group your freshman year of college years prior; the effortless way your personalities molded together and the jokes bounced back and forth nearly diminished all of your anxiety of fitting in and making friends in a new environment.  From that day forward, the two of you, as well as the extended group of friends you accumulated with time, stuck together through failed tests, heartbreaks, job offers, and all of the other highs and lows of life as confused university students.  Miraculously, you had made it to graduation in one piece and both managed to land jobs and apartments in the same university city along with many of your other friends.  Miraculously, the two of you were still friends.  Just friends.

The dynamic of your relationship with Baekhyun, like New Year’s Eve, always existed as a sort of in-between.  What it was in between, that you were not completely sure of.  One thing was for certain: you were friends and always had been.  Friends who could tell each other just about anything.  Friends who helped each other pick out their outfits for the night, and then assisted one another in getting out of them if one of you happened to have a bit too much to drink that night.  Friends who stared at each other, perhaps longingly, for just too long when they thought the other wasn’t looking.  Friends who joked around and touched each other constantly in a way that could only be described as flirting.  Friends who had “accidentally” kissed-- nay, made out-- more than once when under the influence.  Friends, but also not just friends.  Not just friends, but not anything more than friends.  It was yet another frustrating in-between that had never been resolved over the years, and one that you believed at this point never would be.

Downing the rest of your glass of room temperature champagne, you placed the empty cup down on the kitchen counter of Baekhyun’s apartment and raised an eyebrow at the bleach-blonde-haired boy beside you.  “Well, if it’s your resolution to be more obnoxious and invasive of my space, then congrats.  It’s not even midnight yet and you’re already off to a great start.”

Letting out a scoff, Baekhyun turned to face the counter and slowly re-filled your empty champagne glass with one of the many opened bottles remaining on the counter.  It was evident from his shaky hands and the way the liquid splashed over the rim of the glass that he too had already had quite a bit to drink.  “I haven’t been able to talk to you all night and now that I am, you choose violence?  In my own home?  Disrespectful.”

Offering him a half smirk, you reached to ruffle his hair with your free hand.  “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.”

“Oh, the heat?”  Baekhyun’s lips twitched upward and his smirk was soon matching your own.  “Is it because you’re hot?  Because I can get behind that.”

Rolling your eyes, you tried to ignore the heat rising to your cheeks as you shoved his shoulder with the heel of your hand.  It was the alcohol causing your flush, you told yourself.  There was no need to feel flustered by his meaningless flirtation after all of this time.  “You’re unbearable.”

Baekhyun flashed you a toothy grin, his eyes remaining on yours just long enough to make you feel even more jittery.  There seemed to be a sense of warmth, or even admiration, in his eyes as he stared at you, his once beaming expression slowly morphing into a more pensive one.  “Mmm, maybe I am.”  Reaching forward, he nonchalantly-- too nonchalantly-- tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear.  “No, but I’m actually curious.  Do you have any resolutions this year?”

All you wanted to do was melt into the warm touch of his hand as it brushed against your cheek, but it was gone before you could indulge too deep into that fantasy.  Pursing your lips, you crossed your arms over your chest and shrugged.  “Nothing out of the ordinary.  Probably just the usual… Make more time for the gym, be more organized… Stuff like that.”

Clearly not impressed with the cookie-cutter answer you provided him with, Baekhyun shook his head as he retrieved one of the nearly-full bottles of champagne off of the countertop and took a swig directly from the source.  “I don’t mean that sort of resolution.  I mean the type that you tell yourself deep down, the important type, that you usually don’t tell anyone.”

Of course that’s what he meant.  And of course you had thought of one, but it struck a little too close to home to feel completely comfortable sharing.  It struck a little too close to him.

Wanting to stall for more time and also needing to make your nerves less obvious to the boy standing in front of you, you tilted your head to the side.  “What do you mean?  Can you give me an example?”

Placing the glass bottle back on the counter, Baekhyun stared down at his feet for a few moments before nodding his head.  By the way his teeth dug into his lower lip you almost would have sworn he looked nervous, but the expression was gone before you could dwell upon it and overthink as you always did.  It was only once he urged you closer and leaned towards your ear that you realized just how loud the music and other voices were booming in the adjacent room and just how close the pair of you were despite the kitchen being quite spacious.  He leaned in as if though he feared that others would hear him, but you were aware that such a thing would be impossible with the volume in the other room.  Instead, his warm body barely grazing against yours and his breath against your ear created a feeling of intimacy that had your stomach in knots.  Clearly his throat, he slowly spoke, “Yeah, I have one.  It’s kind of a lot… But it’s to be more open and honest with the people around me.”  He paused for a moment, his fingers mindlessly playing with the hem of your shirt as his hand rested just above your hip.  “I’ve started to come to terms with the fact that I tend to use humor to cover up my real emotions a lot, and I think it’s fucked up the potential of a lot of great things for me.”

Well that was a lot more than you expected.  Despite your mind telling you to stop and that it wouldn’t be healthy, you found yourself instantly trying to pick apart the possible deeper implications behind his words.  What potentially great things was he referring to?  He tended to joke around with you a lot, even in serious situations, so could this possibly have anything to do with you?  Baekhyun had always been the straightforward type when it came to most of his relationships, so although it was highly unlikely, you found yourself fixated on the possibility of his resolution existing because of you.  A girl-- especially one with champagne flowing through her veins-- could dream for a moment.

Realizing that you had remained silent for perhaps a bit too long, you at last nodded your head and smiled slightly.  “I think it’s great that you recognize that about yourself and want to work on it.  I love your humor, but you shouldn’t let it get in the way of anything important.”  Pausing for a moment, you realized that it was now your turn to share.  After Baekhyun’s deep and honest confession, it was only fair that you told him yours.  Another hefty sip of champagne reassured you that the tipsy boy standing in front of you would never read too deep into your resolution and realize that it applied to him.  “Well, my main one is probably to be a bit bolder and to stop letting my fears hold me back.  It’s kind of like yours but instead of humor, it’s just me constantly getting in my head and talking me out of pursuing what could be some incredible things that I’m missing out on.  I would hate to live my life and find out later that some of the peop-- things-- I want in life could have been easily attainable if I had just been brave for like… A few seconds.”

If your eyes hadn’t been so busy tracing the tiles on the kitchen floor, maybe you would have noticed the look of absolute adoration in Baekhyun’s eyes as he stared at your face as you spoke.  It was only once his arms engulfed you in a warm hug and his chin pressed against the top of your head that you were snapped back into the present moment.  “Thank you for trusting me with that,” he mumbled into your hair, his proximity never being something you could grow accustomed to.  “Just know that I’ll always be here for you to push you through your fears.”  After a brief pause, he pulled back to examine your face, a warm smile stretched across his lips as his hands remained clenched around your arms.  “I mean, you’re not afraid of me, right?”

He could not have picked a more ironic question to ask if he had tried.  It took every ounce of control remaining in your drunken system to force down the laugh that threatened to push through your glossed lips.  Were you afraid of him?  Of course not.  Were you afraid of exposing your feelings to him and having it ruin everything you two had created over the years?  Absolutely terrified.  Maybe you would tell him eventually.  Maybe you would follow through with the true intent behind your resolution in the new year, but for now, you were for once enjoying the in-betweenness of the holiday because it simply meant that you would not have to address your fears just yet.  Instead, for now, you allowed yourself to respond, “Of course not, Baek.  You’re like a… Marshmallow.”

Baekhyun feigned offense and gently pushed you away from him.  “A marshmallow?  Of all things...  Are you trying to tell me that I should add working out more to my resolutions?”

The anxiety finally washed away for a moment as you giggled at his baffled expression, shaking your head.  “No, no.  It’s just the first least-threatening thing that came to mind.”

“Oh, I can be threatening.”  Puffing out his chest, he made a valiant effort to flex his muscle through his rather thick sweater.  When he earned another giggle from you, his eyes shifted over to the other much-more-lively room.  “Well, now that we’ve shared our deepest, darkest secrets for the night, will you please accompany me back into the real party?  It’s painful without you in there.”

Glancing over your shoulder, you grimaced as you caught sight of Chanyeol attempting to shotgun a beer like he was still in college, and groaning as much of the liquid splattered over his white t-shirt.  Shaking your head, you turned back to Baekhyun.  “I’ll meet you in there in a few minutes… It’s only 10:30 anyway.”

Instead of simply nodding and leaving you to your own devices, Baekhyun remained still, except for his eyes that studied your expression.  After leaving you to awkwardly sway from foot to foot and swallow the nervous lump in your throat, he at last verbalized his thoughts.  “You never liked New Year’s Eve, huh?”

Blinking in surprise, it was your turn to become completely frozen in place.  Sure, he was right, but you had never vocalized your distaste for the holiday.  Additionally, you always believed you did a stand-up job at making all of your friends believe that you were having the time of your life each year.  Sure, you would sneak out to the kitchen to catch a breather a few times, but you always ensured you were smiling and keeping up with the crowd when it came to socializing and drinking.  It unnerved you that despite your best efforts, Baekhyun still managed to see through the facade.  What else did he know about you that you thought you had kept secret?

Sucking in a sharp breath, you decided to be honest.  “I mean, you’re not wrong… I’m just surprised you noticed.”

Pressing his tongue into the inside of his cheek, he nodded slowly.  “You do this thing where you smile wider when you’re sad, but it doesn’t reach your eyes.  I’ve noticed it happens a lot on this day.”

The sincerity of his words had the lump you had just swallowed returning back to its righteous spot in your throat.  The fact that he had noticed such a subtle habit of yours and thought about it enough to connect it to how you were feeling had you feeling oddly emotional, but you refused to let it show.  Instead, you decided to use Baekhyun’s own coping mechanism against him to carry on, even if it would internally resurrect some of your past feelings of jealousy and sadness.  “I have no idea how you would even notice that… You’re usually shoving your tongue down someone’s throat at midnight or passed out in a drunken slumber on the floor before the ball even drops.”  To your relief, you were able to force a quiet laugh through your lips.

“Stoppp.  I’m not usually like that.”  Baekhyun visibly cringed at your words, lifting a hand to cover half of his face in shame.  When you raised an eyebrow at him, he dropped his hand and gently grabbed one of your own.  “But I’m serious.  You’re my top priority and I want my top priority to be happy.”

“I am happy,” you replied a bit too quickly, giving his hand a squeeze before dropping it in fear that he would feel the perspiration on your palm.  Keeping his recent words in mind, you twisted your lips into a smile and squinted your eyes a bit in hopes he would mistake your expression as genuine.  “And I want you to be happy too, so let’s go enjoy the party.”

“Lead the way.”

Somewhere around 11:40, you lost Baekhyun.  After a rather enjoyable hour of catching up with old friends and consuming your body weight in food and alcohol, the blonde-haired boy slipped away through the dozens of people until he was out of your sight.  It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal; the two of you had separated numerous times within the hour to indulge in conversations with other people or to grab refreshments.

It wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, but the closer the clock ticked to midnight, the more you found yourself preoccupied with Baekhyun’s absence.  With each minute that passed, you became more and more frustrated with yourself for being so fixated on the lack of his presence despite being in the middle of a lively party surrounded by so many of your other loved ones.  Sure, Chanyeol and a couple of your other girlfriends had also gone missing, but all you could focus on was where Baekhyun had gone.  This wasn’t the first New Year’s Eve he had disappeared shortly before the new year rolled around.  In fact, as you sat alone on the couch as everyone around you counted down from ten, you were overwhelmed with a sense of sickening deja-vu.

As loud cheers and embraces of arms and lips around you signalled that it was at last midnight, it was then that you decided that this moment was why you despised the holiday so much.  It was the in-betweenness of New Year’s Eve that allowed you to hold onto an imagination of false hope that perhaps, things would be different this year.  Maybe at last the drive for a new beginning would thrust you out of the in-between stalemate that you had existed in for so long and propel you to confront all of the things your fears had been preventing you from doing for so long.  However, as the ball dropped and the television screen filled with fireworks and confetti, you were reminded of your solitary state and that the holiday was simply a superficial deception of change.  The state of in-between was no longer and you were pushed back to square one.

“You alright?” a quiet voice broke you out of your trance.  Sat beside you on the couch was a concerned-looking Kyungsoo with an empty glass of wine resting on his thigh.

Clearing your throat, you nodded your head and curled your lips into a half-smile for your friend.  “Yeah, just sleepy.  I think I’m going to head out soon.”

Scanning you up and down more than once as if to assess the truthfulness behind your statement, he at last nodded and rose to his feet, extending a hand out to you.  “Me too.  I’ll walk back with you.”

Hesitating for just a moment, you eventually reached for his hand and allowed him to pull you into a standing position.  While you would have preferred to endeavor on the short walk back to your apartment building alone, you knew your friends would kill you if they found out you were all alone so late and that it would be much safer to do so accompanied by someone else.  Besides, Kyungsoo lived in the same building and he was also the least likely to probe you with too many questions or unnecessary conversation.

The two of you fell into a common rhythm of saying your goodbyes to your friends and grabbing your belongings before meeting at the door.  After one last glance over your shoulder to see if Baekhyun had reemerged to no avail, you nodded your head at Kyungsoo to signal that you were ready to go.  With one last wave, you shut the door behind you and the loud music and voices were at last a muffled thing of the past.

After escaping the apartment building, you and Kyungsoo fell into a comfortable cadence, the speed of your strides matched in urgency due to the crisp winter air biting at the parts of your skin that were exposed after being enveloped in a warm space for so long.  A relaxed yet curious silence settled over you two; while you were friendly enough with Kyungsoo to know that he resented unnecessary small talk, you couldn’t help but notice the way he kept glancing at you out of the corner of your eye as if though to check that you were alright.

The collective quiet lingered all the way until you paced inside your shared apartment complex, brushing the dusting of snow off of your arms as you followed Kyungsoo into the elevator.  Once it began to ascend, Kyungsoo asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Pretending to be occupied with unzipping your winter coat, you avoided his concerned stare.  Although you were well aware that the attentive boy would see right through you, you still feigned ignorance and responded, “Talk about what?”

A stifled laugh slipped through Kyungsoo’s lips as he shook his head at you.  “You know what I’m talking about, Y/N…”  Reaching over, he brushed a speck of remaining snow off of your shoulder.  “I’m not saying that you have to talk about it with me, but it hasn’t seemed to do you too much good keeping it in for all this time.”

Finally allowing yourself to meet his eyes, you let out a breath you hadn’t even noticed you were holding in.  Kyungsoo knew about your feelings for Baekhyun.  You had drunkenly confessed your deepest secrets to him at one of your wine and movie nights last year, to which the pensive boy merely smiled and told you that it was ‘obvious.’ He had done an honorable job at keeping your secret thus far, only urging you every once in a while to set your fears aside and go for it (obviously without much success).  Shaking your head, you crossed your arms over your chest as the elevator came to a halt at your floor.  “If it was going to happen at this point, it would’ve already happened a long time ago.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” he objected, extending his arm to hold open the elevator door for you.  “You can’t expect things to happen if you’re not straightforward.”  Ah, the ever so logical Kyungsoo was back at it again.

“That’s easy enough for you to say,” you huffed, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your coat as you stepped out of the elevator.  “Don’t worry about me… I’ll be fine.”

“I mean, you especially have to be direct when you’re dealing with someone who is as big of a dumbass as Baekhyun is.”  Kyungsoo smirked to himself, obviously amused by his own jab at his long-time friend.  His hand remained on the opening of the elevator as he watched you exit from inside.  “But seriously, are you alright?”

Stepping into the dim light of the hallway, you playfully rolled your eyes at him and nodded your head.  “Yes, I’m alright.  Goodnight, Kyungsoo.”

“Okay, okay.  Goodnight, Y/N.”  With one last smile and wave, Kyungsoo allowed the elevator to close and left you alone with your incessant thoughts.

As you walked down the foyer toward your apartment at the end of the hallway, you couldn’t help but scoff at the tacky ‘new year, new me’ sign surrounded by confetti obnoxiously plastered onto one of your neighbor’s doors, vibrations of loud music emitting from under their door.

There was nothing new at all about this year.  While the passing of the eve also swept away the hope that comes along with the in-betweenness of the day, it dawned upon you that maybe some things just weren’t meant to be and that perhaps moving on would be the only way to officially break out of the stalemate you had been stuck in for far too long.

It wasn’t clear how long you had been asleep for.  One moment you were in the blissful world of your dreams atop your plush cloud of the bed, and the next you were suddenly jolted awake by a ceaseless banging noise seemingly coming from outside of your apartment.  When you were finally brought back to your senses, the light splashing through the blinds suggested that you had in fact been asleep for much longer than you originally believed.  The moment your eyes landed on the clock on your nightstand and saw the numbers ‘11:44am’ etched into the clock, you shot to your feet and were confronted with your unruly appearance in the mirror.  Sure, you had managed to take a shower and change before you climbed into bed the night prior, but the disheveled state of your hair proposed that it had been a rocky night of sleep.

The banging at the door, which you were finally able to identify was coming from outside of your door, continued and shook you further out of your tired fog.  Who the fuck needed to see you so urgently right now?  Sure it was nearly noon, but in your defense, you hadn’t remembered making plans with anyone and New Year’s Day was an internationally recognized hangover-recovery day.

Letting out a huff, you slipped the pair of sweatpants hanging off the side of your bed over your underwear-clad legs and threw your mess of a hair into a bun on the top of your head before stomping out of your room and towards the entrance of your apartment.  Without bothering to look through the peephole, you swung the door open with a frustrated pull.

There before you stood a flustered-looking Baekhyun, a tray holding two coffees held in one palm and a box of what you deemed to be doughnuts balanced on that same arm.  His other hand was still raised in a fist as if he was about to pound on the door once more.  When he finally registered that you had opened the door and acknowledged his presence, his lips twisted upward into a small small.  A smile that almost looked embarrassed… Or nervous.  “Hi, Y/N.”

Raising an eyebrow, you rubbed your eyes and scanned him up and down once more.  What the fuck was he doing here?  There was no way that you two had made plans and you had already forgotten.  You knew you weren’t that drunk when you were in his presence last night.  God, if it was your plan to get over him this year, you certainly were not off to a good start.  “Uh, come in…” you finally said, opening the door a bit wider and beckoning him with a nod of your head to follow you.  Once he followed you into the kitchen and set his belongings down on the counter, you crossed your arms over your chest and turned to him.  “Not to be rude… But also kind of to be rude… What are you doing here?”

“Well, I texted you and tried to call you like ten times to let you know that I would be stopping by, but somebody didn’t answer.”  Shrugging his jacket off of his shoulders, he occupied himself with hanging it on the back of one of the chairs.  “I brought coffee and doughnuts… I bumped into Kyungsoo in the lobby and he stole one of them, but I made sure he didn’t take any of the chocolate ones because I know those are your favorite.”

Keeping your eyes on him as you slowly opened the box and picked out one of the chocolate glazed doughnuts, you tried to study the unreadable expression on his face.  Something was off.  He usually exuded an almost childlike glow and enthusiasm that radiated through his body language and words, but it was absent at the moment.  Instead, the way his eyes refused to meet yours and the way he was rocking back and forth on his heels made you think that something was wrong.  After taking a bite of the doughnut, you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand.  “Okay, thank you.  Now tell me why you’re really here.”  You glanced back down at the opened box of doughnuts.  “This feels like some sort of weird sympathy gift before you give someone before you tell them that their dog died or something.”

Baekhyun hesitantly took a seat at the table, his eyes meeting your curious ones for a quick second before they flitted back down to his hands.  “I don’t know… I kind of felt bad for losing you last night.  Jongdae pulled me away because he knew I was the only one who would take care of Chanyeol puking his brains out, and before I knew it, I had missed the ball dropping and when I finally got Yeol into bed and came back out you were already gone.”

That was it?  Furrowing your brow, you offered him a small smile.  “Baek, it’s no big deal.  We’ve rarely ever been together when it hits midnight in the past anyway.”

“But I wanted to be with you.”

You would be lying if you said his simple statement didn’t send a swarm of butterflies to your stomach that ignited a sort of fire in your insides.  You knew you shouldn’t have allowed yourself to interpret his words in such a way, but you couldn’t help it.  It was definitely going to take more than one day of the new year to push your feelings aside.  Instead of showing any emotion, you solely asked him, “Why?”

Baekhyun’s eyes remained fixated on the clock on the microwave behind your head as you took a seat in the chair beside him.  His demeanor was so unlike his usual self; you were so used to him being direct.  “I thought a lot about what you said.”

Another cryptic answer could only yield another vague question.  “What did I say?”

“Just about your resolution and how you’ve never liked New Year’s Eve.  I was thinking about that a lot.”

Now it was your turn to feel uneasy.  Picking a small piece off of your doughnut, you rolled the object between your thumb and index finger to avoid meeting his gaze that was finally set on you.  “Why were you thinking about that?”

Taking a drawn out sip from his iced coffee, Baekhyun shrugged his shoulders.  Despite the gesture anticipating to come off as nonchalant, the boy’s disposition was still rather timid.  “I want to know why you don’t like it.”  His eyes lost yours again, moving back to the clock behind your head.  What the fuck was so interesting about the clock?  “And I want you to be honest.”

The tension in the air between the pair of you had you wanting to rise out of your chair and lock yourself in your bedroom.  You knew you couldn’t do that, and you knew he would see right through you if you provided him with some conventional answer of why you didn’t like the holiday.  Instead of opting to do either of those things, you chose to be honest.  Honest, but in a way that didn’t include him in the narrative.  “I don’t know… I guess I’ve just always seen it as some sort of facade of an in-between dimension.  The whole point of the day is to leave all of the troubles of the past year behind and it gives off this sort of false hope that things are going to be drastically better and different when the clock strikes midnight, but it’s all an illusion.  So I guess it’s kind of just like any other day except it exists as sort of neither the past or the future, but it’s the false hope that comes along with it that usually makes me sad.”

“An in-between,” Baekhyun repeated, nodding his head.  He bobbed his head in a manner that suggested not only that he agreed with your words, but that he may have even anticipated you saying them.  Without missing another beat, he murmured, “So kind of like us.”

Sucking in a sharp breath, the remnants of the doughnut remaining in your mouth shot down your throat, sending you into a coughing fit.  “W-What?”

Baekhyun hesitated for a moment, mindlessly twirling the straw around his plastic iced coffee cup.  “You heard me.”

Taking a long sip of your beverage to clear your throat of any stray doughnut crumbs, you blinked a few times in disbelief as you stared at the boy sitting next to you.  How the fuck had he read your mind?  And why was he bringing this up right now?  There was absolutely no way he understood the weight of his words, and there was no safe way for you to respond to what you thought he might be implying.  Instead, you played it safe, asking, “What do you mean by that?”

“I think you know what I mean… Or at least I hope you do.”  Baekhyun’s nervous brown eyes met yours for a moment.  The only sound filling the room was that of your heartbeat pounding in your chest, and the anxious tapping of his foot on the wooden floor.  “I think you should put that resolution of yours to use though and tell me what you think I mean.”

Your resolution.  The one where you had told him you needed to stop letting your fears hold you back from the things you wanted, and that sometimes just a few seconds of bravery could possibly lead to drastic changes in your life.  That was certainly the one he was referring to, it was just a matter of you putting your words into action less than twelve hours into the new year.  You knew there was a chance you were reading his body language wrong and that this could go horribly wrong.  However, in the moment, the want for something more to push you out of the in-between and Kyungsoo’s advice that nothing would change unless you were more direct proved to be stronger.

“You’re saying we’re also like an in-between because while we’re definitely friends by label, a lot of the things we do makes it feel like we’re more than that… But because we’ve never talked about it, we’re stuck in a sort of in-between state of friends and something more than friends…”  After pausing for a moment, you lost total control over the words escaping your lips.  “So if what you’re saying is that New Year’s Eve makes me sad because it reminds me of us, you’re right.”

You weren’t sure precisely how you were expecting Baekhyun to respond to your unexpected confession, but it certainly wasn’t him putting his face in his hands and letting out a loud groan.  “God, I hate it when Kyungsoo is right.  Even Jongin was right.  Jongin.  I’m such a fucking dumbass.”

Clearing your throat awkwardly, you stared down at your lap and sucked in a deep breath in an effort to decrease the accelerated speed of your heart.  You wished he would say something more.  In fact, you needed him to elaborate or else you wished the floor would swallow you up right then and there.  “Oh…?”

“Y/N…” The sound of the legs of his chair grinding against the floor interrupted his unusually quiet voice for just a moment.  Within a moment, his knees knocked against yours and a shaky hand found shelter beneath your chin, urging your head upward.  “I’ve been so caught up in my own fears of you rejecting me that I usually spend every New Year’s Eve drinking until I black out before midnight the years you’ve been with another guy so I don’t need to see you kiss somebody else at midnight, or making out with another random girl in an attempt to make myself feel better and forget about you.  It never worked.  It never will work because I’m a dumbass and I have been so disgustingly and blindly in love with you that I’ve been too scared or too stupid to consider that just maybe you felt the same way.”

It was in that exact moment that you felt as if though you finally understood what people meant when they said their hearts are full.  With each word that Baekhyun spoke and each absentminded stroke of his thumb across your cheek, you were sure that yours was about to burst; burst from knowing that all of the pain and longing had been without a purpose, and burst yet again for how much love you had to offer the boy sitting before you.  If you hadn’t been so well-rested and used to being cautious for so long, you probably would’ve thrown your arms around him and burst into tears.

It was also in that moment that you felt a drastic shift in the energy between the two of you.  No longer were you trapped in the longing and sadness of the in-between.  No longer did you have to wonder ‘what if’ or if your deepest feelings were reciprocated.  The vulnerability plastered across his face washed away all of the doubts you had been carrying around and beating you down for too long.  He wanted you and you wanted him.  The curse, that torturous trap, had been broken.  The in-between was no longer.

“You’re right,” you at last vocalized, unable to bite back the exuberant smile toying at the corners of your lips.  Reaching up, you gently rested your palm on top of the outside of his hand on your cheek.  “You are a dumbass.”

Baekhyun blinked a few times, almost as if he didn’t believe the words that left your mouth.  His body froze for a moment, but when he noticed the genuine joy spread across your face, he instantly relaxed and his smile grew to match your own.  “I just poured out my heart to you and that’s all you have to say to me?” he whined, lowering his arms to wrap around your waist and tugging you onto his lap.  “I already had to hear that from Kyungsoo on my way up here.  I told him that I was probably going to chicken out and then he asked me for a doughnut.  I thought he just wanted something to eat, but instead he threw it at my head and told me I’d be a total dumbass if I waited any longer.”  Glancing up for a moment, he ruffled his messy blonde hair.  “There’s probably still some frosting in my hair.”

“He called you a dumbass to me just last night, so at least he’s consistent.”  Wrapping your arms around his neck, you giggled to yourself as you eased a small clump of strawberry frosting out of his hair.  Once you were able to settle comfortably on his thighs, you allowed your eyes to meet his alluring stare.  “Baekhyun, I love you more than you could ever know and I am just as much of a dumbass for not telling you sooner and believing that my feelings would just disappear.”

If you hadn’t believed him before, the look of sheer infatuation in his eyes as he smiled at you wiped your slate clean of any remaining worries or doubts you had.  The love overtaking his features almost had you feeling embarrassed for ever thinking that he didn’t love you in the way that you loved him.  It had always been crystal clear.  No wonder why all of your friends were constantly urging you to confess to each other and that the chances of rejection were nonexistent.  No wonder why your friends had even told you that it would be impossible for you to love someone as deeply as you loved Baekhyun.

Playing with the hair on the back of his head, you leaned forward to comfortably rest your forehead against his.  “So can I kiss you now?  For real this time?  Or if I do, are you going to say ‘nice work, team’ and give me a bro fist bump like you did last time?” you teased, bringing up an unfortunate memory of the past, earning a groan and a visible cringe from Baekhyun.

“I panicked and I choked in the worst way possible.  You should know that I still wake up in a cold sweat some nights because that absolutely haunts me.”  He let out a breathy chuckle, nudging the tip of his nose against yours.  “And you can.  We just have to wait a minute.”

Furrowing your brow in confusion, you tilted your head to the side.  “Wait a minute?  For what?  We’ve been waiting years.”

“You’re going to laugh.”  Baekhyun chewed on his lower lip, a bashful blush smearing itself across the apples of his cheeks.

“Tell meeee.”

Puffing out his flushed cheeks, his hands slipped under the hem of your shirt to rest on the warmth of your lower back.  “While I was tossing and turning last night, I came up with this grand plan that if everything worked out, I was going to kiss you at exactly 12 o’clock noon as a sort of recreation of what I wasn’t able to do last night and all the midnights before.  Now that I’m saying it out loud, it’s even cringier than I originally thought and I’m emb--”

“Well, did everything work out?” you cut him off with your question, peering over your shoulder to take note of the time on the microwave clock that Baekhyun had been so preoccupied with just shortly before.

“Well, yes…”

“Then count down from ten.”

A knowing smile consumed Baekhyun’s lips as he began to murmur the countdown in unison with you.  With each number, your voices became just an ounce quieter.  With each murmur, your faces moved closer in proximity.  All of the tension and anticipation that had built up over the years existed as a bubble bound to be popped in the minimal space remaining between your lips.

“And 1…”

Baekhyun decided to take initiative once the last number was uttered, a firm hand gripping the back of your head and nudging your face forward until your lips crashed against his.  After the initial urgency of clamouring lips and teeth wore off, your lips and bodies molded together and fell into a mutual rhythm that burst the bubble of fears and replaced it with intense fervor.  While your kiss may not have been accompanied with the same boisterous fireworks and confetti that those who kissed at midnight experienced, it didn’t matter; the awakening of all of your senses from your head to toe ignited a fire inside of you that was brighter and louder than any holiday celebration could ever be.  

Neither of you had to ask what all of this meant for the two of you when you at last pulled away; there was simply a sense of mutual understanding that the stalemate had been broken.

At last, you were no longer trapped in the in-between.  

At last, you were home.

#baekhyun x reader #baekhyun imagine #exo imagine #baekhyun fic #baekhyun writing #baekhyun fluff #baekhyun angst #exo fic #exo scenario #baekhyun x you #exo #baekhyun #ddaengtae