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robert-de-niro-only-fans · 4 years

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Hell-ish

Louis Cyphre x Reader

Not related to the movie (Angel Heart) literally at all, just wanted to write about Robert De Niro Satan™ 💖✨

TW: you’re in hell but I swear it’s not that bad, mentions of demons/the devil, horn stuff?

Word Count: 2k

Enjoy! 😈😈😈

The harsh pain in your shoulders and the unfamiliar feeling of the room around you made you aware, but the grogginess in your head only made you want to sleep. Sleep. You don’t remember when you fell asleep. You crack your eyes open only to realize you don’t know where you are… But that the bed you’re in is beyond cozy.

You pull the covers up over you more, but you also scan the room a bit. It’s incredibly luxurious. The room is fully decorated in black marble and gold. The sheets you lay on are black silk. You’ve never seen anything like it.

“Good morning, my dear, glad to see you’re finally awake,” a voice says from across the room. You turn to face the man as he approaches you. He has a very striking look. He bares a thick beard, long hair that is nearly pulled back and tied up, pointed white nails, a black and gold cane, and the nicest suit you’ve ever seen.

He sits on the edge of the bed and puts his cans aside before looking at you, “Are you alright, love? You look like a deer caught in headlights, although a very cute deer, much like a little fawn.” His fingers tuck some of your hair behind your ear, and then his hand lingers on your cheek for a moment. Despite the man’s startling look and the unsettled feeling you have, his presence felt very familiar to you.

“Um… I’m okay, just woozy.” You rub your eyes trying to wake up a little more.

“Here, drink this. It’ll help you to feel better.” As if pulling a rabbit out of a hat, the man had a teacup and saucer in his hands. He hands it to you and you take a sip. It’s very good, slightly sweet. “It’ll help with the pain in your shoulders as well.” He stands to walk out of the room.

“Hmmm? How did you know about that?”

He swiftly exists the room.

You sit and sip your tea for awhile.

• • •

Before you know it, you’re waking up again… The tea must’ve put you to sleep, but at least you feel well-rested and your shoulders aren’t sore anymore.

You lie in the large bed, mind wandering. You’ve never been to this place before, never seen this man. Yet, you feel safe here. Before long, you find yourself thinking about how he compared you to a fawn. It was an odd compliment, but it gave you butterflies in your stomach. You really wouldn’t mind if he touched your cheek again, too.

“Darling, are you hungry? I made you breakfast,” he looms over the bed with a nicely made tray of food in this hand. He nearly gave you a heart attack.

“Oh… um, sure.”

A warm smile comes to his face as he sets the tray on your lap. There lies a beautiful assortment of food: fresh fruit, croissants, milk and juice, and even a boiled egg propped up in one of those fancy caramic egg dishes. He taps the shell of the boiled egg with one long fingernail, “Boiled eggs are very symbolic to me. I have one with breakfast each day.”

You give him a small smile, and then there’s a long pause. “Who are you?”

“Louis. Louis Cyphre.”

“And this is your home?”

“Yes.”

“And where is that?”

“Hmmm… I’m not sure you’re ready to hear this, but you have to find out sooner or later. You’re in Hell, to put it simply.”

“Hell?! What do you mean Hell?!” Your mind is but racing.

“Here, honey, eat a little something,” he says handing you a croissant, “Hell, as in the Underworld, as in one of the many afterlives, as in eternal damnation.”

“This doesn’t seem like Hell… It’s so nice here.”

“Yes, well, this is my home, so it can be how I want it to be.”

“I don’t understand. Aren’t you also here to be tortured or something? You don’t look like a demon to me… Who are you?”

“(Y/N), I already told you, but I’ll make it more apparent, just for you, sweet girl… I’m Louis Cyphre, Lucifer.”

“Lucifer?? Like Satan?” It comes out of your mouth before the realization sets in. “You’re the Devil?”

“Yes.”

This doesn’t scare you as much as it should. Why should you be scared of him? He’s been nothing but hospitable and caring towards you.

He sits next to you planning his hand on your cheek one again. It makes you feel warm. “No harm will come to you while you’re here. Quite the contrary, you’ll be treated like a queen.” He pulls a grape from the tray in front of you and places it in your mouth.

“But why? I thought Hell was for suffering.”

“Hmmm… It’s a story for another time, but let’s just say I decided to keep you for myself, rather than letting you stay in your afterlife.”

“Oh… Well, that’s very sweet. I suppose being here is much nicer than what I would’ve faced, being that I got sent to Hell.”

• • •

After this, he spent much of his time courting you, and the time you spent with him was magical, to say the least.

He always served you the tastiest food, seemingly pulled from thin air. You met many ghouls and demons; some were friends, some were “in the business,” and some you saw grovelling at Louis’ feet for mercy. He would take you to spectacular places, completely unimaginable and nothing like you’d ever known. But when you confessed to him that you really missed plant life and the night sky, he made you a garden filled with beautiful botanicals where the night sky and constellations could be seen at any time of day.

You spent a lot of time there.

• • •

One particular day, you are sitting in the gardens on a small bench with Louis, just enjoying the breeze and the smell in the air. He has one arm around your shoulders and the other is resting on your lap holding your hand. Your shoulders still hurt a lot of the time, but at this point it was normal and you just assumed it had to do with the way you died.

“(Y/N)?”

“Yes, Louis?”

“May I kiss you?”

“Hmmm…” You smile and look at him, “on one condition.”

“Anything for you, my heart.”

“Show me your horns.”

He scoffs. “Horns?! What horns?” He really was bad at lying to you; you thought it was sweet how even the Demon King could be rendered weak by love.

“I know you must have them. All of the other demons do. And like wings or a tail or something… I wanna see it.”

“Why on Earth would a sweet girl like you want to see those things?”

“Well… I like you a lot, Louis, and I want to be able to love all of you, not just the parts you show me.”

A blush comes to his cheeks, but it’s quickly followed by a bit of sadness, “I don’t want to scare you away…”

“You won’t scare me. I’ll still know it’s you.”

There’s a long pause before he says, “Close your eyes.”

You place your hands over your face, and they were only there for a few seconds before you feel Louis’ hands pulling them off of your eyes.

Of course the first thing that catches your eye is the horns. Tall, black and dark brown, gently spiraled up into the air, and quite pointy at the end. Then there are his eyes, a deep but glowing shade of red, and full of hesitance. Clearly he’s afraid you won’t like him like this. His fingernails are now much longer and black, more like claws. As he adjusts his seating, you notice the gnarly black wings that hover behind him. They’re like bat wings, and while they are very intimidating, they look out of place, somehow, like they aren’t supposed to be there.

You were sure that he could take a much more frightening form, but he still wants to protect your from some things.

“Can I touch them?” You ask.

“Hmm?”

“Your horns. Can I touch them?”

“Yes, but only you.”

Your reach up and lightly grace your fingers over the rigid texture of one of the horns. You push it lightly, causing Louis to tilt his head back. You giggle, which seems to put him at ease. You wrap your hand around the horn and pull his face close to yours for that kiss you promised him. When his lips met yours, he wrapped his arms around you holding you close. Your arm drops from his head to wrap around the back of his neck.

After a long, sweet kiss, you both pull away breathless. And you see that Louis is back to the way you’re used to seeing him.

“Aww, Louis… I really liked your horns.”

“You did?”

“Yeah! They look very good on you. Will you please put them back?”

“I suppose, anything for you, sweetheart.” And just like that, they were back. You couldn’t explain why you liked them, you just did. “Please don’t use them to tug me around too often…” He says with a chuckle.

“So you’re saying it’s okay sometimes?” You laugh.

“Mmm… Sometimes, yes, only if I get a kiss out of it.”

• • •

That night, you share a bed for the first time, and even though you’re only cuddling and sharing kisses, you both thoroughly enjoy the closeness. He knew everything about you, which made you uneasy at first, but now that you had seen him in a vulnerable position, you felt you could trust him. With some trust established, you found yourself falling for him quickly.

As you’re lying next to him, you can’t keep your eyes or your fingers off of his horns, and an idea pops into your head, “So ya know how you’re like this big powerful Overlord of the Damned or something?”

This earned you a hearty laugh from the man, “Yes, I know.”

“Well I was just thinking about your horns and how they’re so cool, and how you made me that garden outside, and well…”

“Well?” He gives you a playful look.

“Well… could you give me horns?”

“You want horns?”

“Yeah! They’re cool! And, like, why shouldn’t I fit in with the demons a little?”

“Honey, you don’t fit in with the demons,” he says through a laugh.

“Okay well I still want horns.”

“Hmmm… You want horns, huh? Well alright.” He scoops you up off the bed and takes you to stand in front of the mirror. He leans in towards your ear and whispers, “Close your eyes.”

You clap your hands over your eyes and sit there with a smile. You can feel the excitement vibrating through you; your whole body is buzzing… It’s making your shoulders ache really badly actually…

Louis firmly presses his hands into the spots where your shoulders hurt, then he wraps his body tightly around you. “Open your eyes,” he says with a small twinge of panic in his voice. But all of your worries fade away when you see your newest accessory in the mirror. You gasp and immediately your fingers are tracing over the shape of your new horns; they’re just above your ear, and they curl back like a ram’s would. Completely different from Louis’, but you like that.

“Do you like them, princess?”

“Oh, yes, Louis! Thank you so much… They’re so pretty!” You’re nearly squealing with enthusiasm.

“Good, darling! I had pictured you with little deer antlers, because you so remind me of a little woodland fawn, but there are some things I have no control over. It seems you’re one of them!”

“Hmm, are you saying you’d like to control me?” You give him a coy look.

“No… But I am glad I can do this,” he wraps a hand around one of your horns and pulls you towards him, smiling against your lips while kissing you.

#peep the moodboard for an idea of what their horns look like 🥰🥰🥰#btw i have many more ideas for this #but then we start getting into some religious ideas and imma be honest #i dont know much about it #so then its just gonna be my romanticized idea of heaven and hell #yeah #let me know if you want more #louis cyphre #egg #robert de niro #louis cyphre x reader #robert de niro x reader #moodboard #fanfic

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mageofseven · 3 years

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hi!!! i just requested this on another blog too but i am FIRED UP rn abt the angel event, and i was wondering if you could do hcs for the brothers with an mc who is SUPER pissed off abt the bangles and stuff (bc its just wrong on SO many levels), especially bc they have religious trauma of their own (its the internalized lgbt-phobia for me 😎) AKRHWJRJE thank u

Yeah...this became a rant that I had no idea I was holding within myself. I've put it all under a Read More thing for those who haven't seen or finished the event for whatever reason. The actual content asked for is below this rant so feel free to skip over it for the real reason y'all are reading this 😅

Okay, people seem to be very...negatively passionate about this event. Don't get me wrong; I understand and agree with why everyone is upset. Playing with the brother's trauma (well, most of the brother's trauma since Satan wasn't alive at the time and Asmo seemed pretty chill with the whole angelic thing) for sake of an event? That's fucked up.

On a story level, I was at first mad at Diavolo. I mean, surely, surely that man knows what horrible stuff Lucifer and his brothers went through or at least part of it, because the ending of it all is what brought the brothers to him! And maybe he thought the costume change was okay since Asmo requested it? But even so, the consent of one brother does not equal the consent of all brothers to dress up like their past selves!

Then bangles. Simeon knew what they did and still gave them to the brothers. Okay, upsetting, but Michael told him to give them to the brothers and maybe he can't refuse an archangel? I dunno but fuck you, Michael.

I'll admit though, those bangles helped the brother do good things and get past their gnawing insecurities (Mammon selling his stuff and donating the money to charity, Asmo know longer stressing over looking perfect and finding peace with his looks and ultimately, learning to truly love himself in a way he never did before), but such things happened for the wrong reasons. I want those good changes for our boys, but I don't want it forced on them like it has been in this event. I want them to reflect, see that a changes is need, and choose to work in themselves and self-heal.

This event was just a lot of me smiling uncomfortably and screaming in my head "what's happening to my sinny boys??". It honestly broke my heart when Luce said he didn't have any fond memories of his time as an angel and I was so worried about all of the bad memories that must be flooding his mind because of this, especially his since his brother, though began with anxiety in the beginning, fell into what's practically mind control quite easily, and only Luce was left fighting it's affects.

Some parts of the event were cute, I won't deny that, but it wasn't them. We didn't truly have our boys during this event and instead had to watch them revert to state they likely never wanted to and it hurt to watch...

Okay, I started this rant trying to make a point that I thought the rest of the fandom felt too strongly about this event and now I'm like...ouch, I had a lot more feelings in me about it than I originally thought. So ya, I understand now. Imma just hide in the corner and hug my Luci...

Lucifer:

Truly surprised to see MC so worked up

And lowkey touched that they care so much about both his and his brothers' wellbeing to the point where they'd get so mad on their behalf.

However, he cannot allow for them to speak to Lord Diavolo in such a manner.

Pulls them to the side and tells them enough is enough, consequently bringing their harsh comments towards Simeon to halt as well.

Getting worked up is not going to fix anything and he tells them this.

Mammon:

Whoa, whoa, hold up! Enough!

No need to get that mad, human, honest!

Yeah, this isn't gonna be easy for them, but he doesn't need MC digging their own hole in this situation.

Immediately works on comforting them, saying things like he and his brothers will get out of this in no time so they don't have to worry.

Essentially lies to them and feels extra guilty about it thanks to the bangles, but no stupid bracelet is gonna make him admit that and hurt his human worse!

Overall, MC's outburst forces him to focus on them and not his own current issues.

Leviathan:

Another brother so worried about them that he has to shelve his own worries to comfort them

...or at least, he tries to.

Basically agrees with everything Mammon says (the bangles make that a hell of a lot easier for him to do) and anxiously fidgets in place.

He has enough to worry about and now his Henry is acting like this? Things just keep getting worse.

Satan:

Sighs

"MC, now is not time for this."

You know when the Avatar of Wrath says you shouldn't be giving into angry right now that you really shouldn't be.

Appreciates that the human is so worried about them, but really doesn't need their yelling on top of the current issue.

Whether this is his own logic talking or the calming effect of the bangles, the man cannot discern.

Regardless, this situation is more of an inconvenience to him than anything else.

He never was an angel nor went through the trauma his brothers have. At best, he just has a small, vague patchwork of Lucifer's memories of that time.

He becomes increasingly unsettled as time in this form goes by, but doesn't struggle in the same way his brothers do.

Asmodeus:

"Oh stop, it'll be fine!"

The only brother to try to remain positive in the situation.

I mean, at least his outfit is cute, right?

The bangles do raise up a kind of anxiety that he doesn't want to deal with, but if he just smiles and pretends things are fine, maybe all of his issues will go away?

Doesn't like MC getting so angry because it reminds him that this is indeed a problem and he doesn't want that.

Beelzebub:

Sad baby boy.

More worried about MC than he is about himself tbh.

Please don't be mad, MC, it'll get fixed somehow 🥺

Despite being one of the afflicted, feels like he needs to watch over the human during this time.

Belphegor:

Ugh, stop.

Yeah, he's pissed too, but enough yelling about it.

Agrees with everything they spew out at the demon lord and angel.

Devil, just fix this, someone.

He doesn't want to be forced to be like his prior self, as if the loss of his sister never happened because it did happened.

Fuck Diavolo for always doing whatever the hell he wants. Fuck Michael for still wanting to control them even now. Fuck everything that's going on right now.

#obey me #obey me otome #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me mc #obey me gn!mc

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midnightartemis · 4 years

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Chapter One (Part One)

She learned that life was a game of survival from a young age. First, it was the religious fanatics— the ones with the locked fridge and the forced prayers and the idea that children were the spawn of Satan to be beaten and starved into godly angels. After them came the Johnsons. They were a young couple, hopeful and naive, and completely unprepared for the half-feral, skin and bones desert commune child that the government dumped in their laps. She didn’t last long there either. But they hadn’t let her starve and they hadn’t hit her and Rey tended to put that down as a plus in her book. It was why she started speaking (though in a British accent much to everyone’s surprise) and it was why she still kept their last name. Even when they gave up on her. After them… It was years in the system until she came to be in the hands of Unkar Plutt.

She learned how to survive. Learned how he always hit her where no one could see, but he only did it when he was raging drunk and he only was raging drunk a few times a month. She learned his tells, knew that some nights she was better off stealing a slushie from the 7-eleven and camping out at the skatepark until it was late enough to go back home.

As long as she did her chores and didn’t give him trouble, Plutt let her be. Rey was okay with that. She could survive that.

She sat on the lip of the park's bowl as the sun set, casting riotous shades of pink and purple and red across the cloudy sky. Summer had only just begun and while that met school, which she hated, was over, it also met more time with Plutt. More time in his shop. More ways to mess up and more drunken rages to avoid. She often wondered if he kept her around as something to look at or because she knew how to keep her mouth shut and balance his books. Both sets.

She’s been coming to the park for a while now, at least when the weather was decent. The weather was always decent. There was something comforting about the sound of wheels and boards on concrete, the whoops and hollers of the skaters, the warmth of the sun on her skin. Reminded her of the desert- only the best parts. People left her alone.

They learned after… Well, after they learned what happened when they didn’t. A few bloody noses. A few broken boards. Cause and effect.

The only ones who ever paid her any mind were Kuruk and his small band of nerdy boys in black. Even then it was only a few words here and there. She respected their space and they respected hers. And after the broken nose incident, she’d almost become an honorary member of their group. A staple of the skatepark. She’d never had anywhere to belong before.

It didn’t mean anything and you could fuck off if you thought it did.

Rey watched them lazily, sipping on her stolen slushie as Cardo and AP kept biffing it on the same rail trick with a loud “fuck!” Every time.

There were a few other people around, but like usual, most had left as it started to get dark.

“Hey! Hey!”

Rey snapped to focus, frowning as she realized Kuruk had been trying to get her attention for a while and was now slowly jogging over to her. He held his board at his side and there was a lopsided smile on his face. He wore black baggy jeans and a baggy t-shirt like the rest of them and he always kept his dark hair buzz cut like he thought about joining the military but only committed to the hair style.

“What.”

Kuruk laughed. “You’re a Rey of fuckin sunshine, you know that?”

Rey rolled her eyes. It was only the millionth time he had used that line on her. “What do you want, Kuruk?”

“The guys and I are headed to the loft. We wanted to know if you wanted to come.” He gave her that look that he always did that only told Rey he was trying to get in her pants. She was pretty sure the guys had a bet going on it.

She sighed. “You better have the good vodka this time. And better smokes. Those last ones tasted like dried out ass crack.”

“Yeah, yeah. Totally. One of my buddies is coming back from Chandrila and bringing the good college town shit.”

She didn’t know much about college towns but was fairly certain that “good” college town shit didn’t exist. She nodded anyway. “Fine. But imma kick your ass in Mario Kart.”

“Bet.” Kuruk offered her a hand and Rey let him pull her to her feet. She practically flew off the ground and threw them both into the bowl. It wasn’t that Kuruk was supernaturally strong or anything- she had seen him shirtless and seen that unfortunate happy trail- it was just that she was built like a skinny prepubescent boy with an eating disorder. Rey landed in Kuruks chest and scowled, shoving him off before he could say anything. Some whistles echoed over the park. She grabbed her melted purple slushie and flipped off the rest of the guys.

Rey went with them with the promise that life would maybe suck less for a little bit with them. At the very least they treated her to free booze and a toke. Inebriation was about the only thing that made Trudge and Ushar’s misogynistic idiocy palatable and Kuruk’s advances maybe not the worst thing in the world. It was nice to be liked. To be wanted. Even if it was just to win a bet. She’d never let them know that. Maker end her if they ever found out. She had enough self worth to know it would never fucking happen.

They skated through the darkening streets of Coruscant, slow enough that Rey could keep up on foot. It wasn’t hard. None of them could go ten feet without tipping a trash can over or trying to nail a trick off the curb. No one cared as they loudly made their way down the street, making themselves known to the world in the one way they could. Rey trailed after them in the dark. They left the cracked and degrading streets and dipped through a hole in the chain link fence, passing through a barely used rail yard and a dry culvert until they reached a small mostly abandoned warehouse.

A few years back some real estate guy had bought it and started trying to convert the place into condos. He got about half way done before, probably, coming to his senses and realizing that no one on the south side of Coruscant wanted to buy a luxury condo. Even if there was exposed brick and industrial aesthetic, there was also high crime rates and a hatred of outsiders and gentrification. Scared off most of the investors and the rest vanished after the recession hit and never seemed to leave the south side. Buying the one completed loft back from the city was the only smart decision the guys ever made. Even if they only did it to piss the cops off who kept kicking them out for trespassing.

Part of Rey wishes she had seen the encounter instead of hearing about it every five seconds from one of the guys. The other part of Rey wondered how they were even smart enough to come up with that plan, let alone execute it.

The Loft as they called it consisted of a giant open area that functioned as a gaming room and kitchen, the most disgusting bathroom Rey had ever stepped foot in, and three bedrooms which had once been split between all of them till Cardo got his own place and Vic moved in with his pregnant girlfriend. Three bedrooms became six after one drunken night where Ushar had taken a sledgehammer to the wall and broken into the abandoned half-finished apartment next door. As far as Rey knew, they were arguing between turning that living room into a sex dungeon or a pool table room. The vote was fifty fifty since Rey refused to participate and Trudge refused to pick a side. The whole place constantly smelled of weed and Kuruk’s weird incense.

Rey would never admit it, but she secretly loved the place. The ceilings were at least twelve feet high and there were huge metal framed windows that looked out over a field of dead grass to the lights of the city.

Kuruk dug through the mess of a freezer pulling out a half bottle of Everclear and a mostly empty bottle of captain morgans, which Rey snatched from him without a word. She found an unopened can of coke and poured it straight into the Captain's bottle, swishing it around before taking a large sip. No one blinked an eye.

Across the room, AP cursed as he tried to get the projector working. It wasn’t that old of a projector, but it had been purchased from some seedy electronic store that definitely looked the other way on where they acquired their products. Gaming was about the only thing they ever spent their money on and they had almost every game and system out there. That was the other reason Rey secretly liked this place. Secretly liked most of them.

Rey carried her bottle with her across the room, stopping AP before the short haired black kid started to rip the machine apart in frustration. If she was being honest, AP was the only guy she ever thought about letting win their stupid bet. He was shy and generally quiet and never really said much to her, which Rey prefered. He gave up the projector to her with a frustrated grunt and sat down on the giant sectional couch to roll a joint with the last of their weed.

After Rey popped open the lid of the projector and blew out the fan and circuitry, the projector came to life with a small whine. She popped the lid back on and adjusted the focus so it hit the stretched sheet across the room right.

She hopped down from the chair and took the lit joint from AP for a deep hit before passing it back. Trudge and Ushar eventually moved from the back rooms howling to each other and fighting over who would play COD first.

“Hey, dickheads. The lady’s already chosen Mario Kart.” Kuruk slammed a shot glass on the table. “Loser finishes the everclear.”

“She always fuckin wins.” Trudge groaned. “She always picks rainbow road. I fuckin hate rainbow road.”

Rey smiled to herself as Trudge and Ushar groaned but ultimately complied with their ringleader’s orders.

She could kick their asses at Mario Kart with a blindfold on. Rey snatched up the Wii remote and easily beat Trudge, Ushar, and Kuruk on Mario Kart’s three hardest courses. Even when Kuruk sat beside her and Trudge tried to tackle him over the back of the couch. Happy with her victory and at the sight of Ushar and Trudge gagging down straight everclear, she released them to fight over endless rounds of COD.

Her and AP quietly pass the last joint back and forth, her eyes growing hazy as she practices blowing smoke rings into the air.

“God you fuckers are rank.”

Rey grips tightly the mostly gone Captain’s bottle in her hand at the unrecognizable voice. People stopped by the loft constantly, but it was always someone she knew. She was halfway to smashing her bottle and brandishing it as a weapon when the guys broke into a flurry of motion, leaping over the couch and flying at the voice as they howled. Rey jumps in the opposite way, watching as the stranger was set upon by the guys. It took a moment for Rey to realize that they weren’t actually beating him up. She took a long swig of her drink.

Out of the male-bonding wrestling pit emerged one of the tallest, broadest men she had ever seen. He wore all black like the rest of them, but there was something different about him. Long black hair came to his shoulders and Rey fought off the sudden urge to run her fingers through it. His pale skin was covered in smatterings of moles and freckles and his long nose was hooked from a break that didn’t heal right. It wasn’t until his eyes caught hers that the world seemed to break away under her feet. She felt his intense brown eyes from across the room. They dropped down before traveling back up again. He met her with eyes with a smirk and Rey scowled back. Something flashed across his face, too quick for Rey to tell what it was. Confusion, maybe?

Kuruk caught him staring at her and puffed out his chest in some sort of testosterone filled dominance display. The stranger's eyes didn’t leave her. Rey did the only thing she could think of to win whatever battle she was having with this asshole and downed the rest of the Captain's bottle without breaking eye contact. The corner of his lip tweaked up.

Kuruk cleared his throat. “Kylo - Rey. Rey - Kylo.”

#reylo fanfic #rey x ben #kylo x rey #reylo au #ben solo deserved better #reylo fiction #reylo fanfiction

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dredreadsdrawing · 4 years

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2/28/2020 - 2/29/2020

Combined two days because I only wrote ideas the 28th, and sketched the new boi the 29th.

Ideas on Bart’s Friend, newly named Hosea!:

- He’s taller than Bart, but skinny like a pencil. He has big round glasses that make his eyes look bigger than they are. He has long, choppy hair he grew out and likes to take care of.

- ..... through drawing him, especially the last expression, i mentally give him a dorky deep voice that has a slight drawl. He talks slowly, and usually stumbles over his words, giving people the impression that he’s not as smart as he is. HE never raises his voice; it’s permanently stuck in a low, calm, and gentle tone. Imma try to find something close to this as an example, cries.

- i really like my boy, double cries.

- He moved with his mother and father into town after his father lost his job. At this time, Bart is 11, and so is the new kid.

- The town kids were curious about him at first, and crowded him to know more about the city. Quickly, though, his answers bored them, and his affinity for reading rather than playing turned them away from wanting to stick around, and he got lonely quick.

- He found Bart the first day of school, the only kid reading during every break, and he nervously got the guts to approach him. Bart was very cautious at first, suspicious. thinking that the town kids sent him for a prank, but Hosea was incredibly earnest in his interest, and got excited when Bart mentioned a series he liked. Needless to say, Bart was quickly won over.

- That day, they started their friendship by talking about the few non-horror books Bart had read. The next, Bart was ready to show him his whole collection, sure to impress him(!), when he noticed Hosea’s mom. And their prayer before school. And her insistence of him to be a good boy and to not let himself be corrupted by the other kids. Bart overheard all of this from a bush, and was struck, remembering the words of caution Minnie told him before. ‘Some people will run for fear of their religious rules. They don’t perceive their gods as merciful.’

- He didn’t want to lose his first friend. He hid his interest in horror and the arcane, in the process, visiting Minnie’s manor less, and picking up more books Hosea would recommend instead.

- A month in, their friendship is going great, but through misfortune, Bart runs into Hosea as he came back from buying the latest monster novel of his favorite series. He hides it and tries to flee, only to hit his head on the door and drop the book. Hosea picks it up. Instead of running in terror like Bart imagined in his dreams, Hosea beams. He’d always wanted to read this series! But his mom would never let him even look at their covers. He’s stumbling with his words as he describes the few books he’d seen and what he imagined they were about, his face flushing from excitement, and Bart takes it all in. His worries melting, he smiles back and responds to all of his questions, explaining a few of the monsters, and reassuring him the scares were fun and worth finishing every book for. By the time they finish jabbering, Bart offers letting him read the books after school in his house, and Hosea agrees. Their bond got a little deeper that day.

- Two more months roll by and they manage to get Hosea through most of the books; their time holed up in Bart’s room, reading, becoming their favorite hours of the day. Sometimes Hosea has to leave a little earlier, other times he’s a little more quiet, but he never skips their hang out hours. Bart thinks he just needs to be alone sometimes and he doesn’t mind.

- Bart visits Minnie again, though less frequently than before. Their studies are going slower, their sessions mostly consisting of Bart ranting about his new friend instead. She doesn’t mind. She has her hands full with something else.

- Their calm time gets so gradually comfortable, that Bart doesn’t notice how close they’ve gotten until it hits him that he’s reading his Detective Drew book while laying his head on top of the napping boy. He’s eleven, and he’s never had a friend before. He doesn’t know if this is normal. He begins questioning every unconscious action they share, trying to analyze them using what little information he knows from books.

- He eventually told himself that they had simply reached that close level of friendship that the protagonists from his adventure/fantasy series had, and didn’t worry about it anymore, until-

- Hosea had been getting teased at school more for being the teacher’s favorite. One of the town boys had a crush on her, and took out his frustration by picking on Hosea when she wasn’t looking. Bart would always defend him, though, so they never got farther than a shove and some name calling. The town boy switched tactics one afternoon and went for Bart instead. He targeted him as he waited for Hosea to finish helping the teacher. The town boy mocked him on as many insecurities as he could, most of them deflecting until he brought up Hosea. He claimed Hosea only stuck with him because he was the only kid his mom let him hang out with, that he was so tiny and pathetic, poor Hosea was bored all the time. (idk shitty taunts about how Bart never actually scared the boy off, he just thought Bart was so funny looking he couldn’t keep a straight face, and Hosea was more embarrassed by him than anything. That they’re not real friends and Bart has been an annoyance all along.) Bart doesn’t really believe it, but little doubts nudge in and he wants to run. He barely turns around to bolt home when he hears a smack. He turns around and sees Hosea standing over the boy, having rammed him.

- Hosea yells at him to stop talking to Bart like that. He defends Bart, jumbling his words as he tries to talk faster than his normal speed, but his sentiment is clear. Bart is his best frien!. Bart is the coolest, the funnest, and he could certainly kick the boy’s butt onto next Sunday if he wanted to! The boy gets up and tries for intimidation, but Bart moves in to kick his leg. As the boy yowls, he takes Hosea’s hand and they run before any adults come. They stop to catch their breath in an dirty alley. Hosea is concerned if they’ll get in trouble for starting violence, but Bart reassures him. After a pause of contemplation, Bart asks him if what he said was true. Hosea is back to tripping on his words, but he spills all of his feelings. He admires Bart, and honestly thinks of him as the coolest kid he’s ever met. He wants to be more like him; strong, reliable, and honest. Both kids are embarrassed by the praise, Bart’s quickened heart making his mind race with it. This moment wasn’t reminding him of any scenes with the protagonists of his fantasy books. This was more like the scene of Detective Drew where his assistant confesses to him her love.

- He tries to shrug it off by awkwardly accepting the compliments and extra awkwardly praising Hosea too “I.... like that you’re smart?” They walk to his house in silence, but Bart’s mind is a battle. He tells himself this was nothing like that scene; no way did Hosea feel like that towards him! (But what if-) Nonono, no need to be silly. They get to his room and they start their reading, but Bart can’t focus on any words. He keeps rationalizing his friend’s behaviors to himself in a cycle, trying to force himself to accept that he was misinterpreting everything..... but for whatever reason not being able to let it go. He’s at his wits end by the time their hang out time is over, and he walks Hosea out. Hosea asks him if he was ok; he noticed how quiet Bart had been. Bart presses his lips and looks away. He confesses he’s still processing being called cool. Hosea fidgets for a while at the door. When Bart raises his eyes to see why, he notices Hosea’s face is back to blushing. “... B-But you a-are. You’re my hero.” Both boys’ eyes widen, and Hosea can’t even let out a farewell before booking it out. Bart is floored, overcome with new emotions of self-consciousness and awe.

- He’s in a daze during dinner and he can’t sleep that night. It’s only while rereading the last book of his fantasy series that he realizes there WAS a passage where both protagonists greatly praised one another... before going into battle. The protagonists end it with a hug, and Bart becomes aware of the new-found implications their past actions could be given. He realizes he might have been projecting the same expectations to Hosea. And he becomes scared as he starts to recognize what it was he was feeling when Hosea complimented him.

... Bart liked Hosea.

- Lololol went into story mode. shit. Hopefully I can keep going cuz.. Im sticking pretty hard to this story so far. As the song goes, let’s see how far we(I) go ;w;

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foxymuses · 4 years

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do it! share the spn opinions!

aight, but i aint gonna go super into detail here, okay, and i’m putting it under a cut just so people who don’t want to SEE THE SALT can avoid it, so this is your LAST WARNING don’t read further if you’re easily offended/have strong feelings about spn. also, i say it several times, but it should be enforced here that just because i dislike a character on the show does not mean i dislike someone’s portrayal. oftentimes, the tumblr rp world writes characters better than shows do and it redeems these characters in my eyes, so. keep that in mind

i can’t stand sam at all. i think he’s a whiny bitch baby and he gets far too much love in the show. i prefer the later seasons when dean becomes the plot focus. this isn’t because i like dean better (but i do), it’s honestly just so... like sam’s writing is so off putting and it grinds me. i usually skip episodes that are sam focused, and i very much can’t stand most of s3 and s4. i also don’t like soulless sam at all *** i usually adore sam rpers. this isn’t to say i hate the character. i hate the way he’s written in the show, but how tumblr people write him is the Right way and i love them for it

i Strongly Disliked s6 and s12. i can’t even tell you what happened in these seasons aside from a vague recollection. s8 is also a bit of a fog, but that’s mostly because s9 is when i started watching the show on tv so i sort of skipped through s8 to be ready for the premiere.

i will forever be salty that they did dean dirty at the end of s5. having him go to say yes then essentially being all ‘jk sam asked me not to so i wont’ will forever irritate me. like. they were all ‘no dean, you can’t say yes to michael’ and ready to lock him up for it, but then literally like an episode later were like ‘nah it’s cool if sam says yes though, whatever’

sort of following that, i really hate that sam is oftentimes implied to be the ‘stronger’ or ‘nicer’ brother. i think he’s a huge hypocrite and like. he causes so many problems, and he’s so mean to dean a lot of the time? but dean would do anything for him? that’s annoying

i did not like mary being brought back at all. that was random and made super little sense to the overall plot, and i did not like how she was written

i also don’t like jack. he seemed a kind of... mmm there’s a word for it. but like the writers seemed to just throw him in for the sake of a plot line, and he’s annoying and i don’t like how OP he is. again, most jack writers are better, but within the show realm, he annoys me to no end, as does the immediate like... love for him that everyone but dean has, and the pushy insistence that everyone shoves at dean to like jack as if he’s not the spawn of the devil

i dont even think this is controversial, but how they handled demon dean was Disappointing, and great part of the reason i stopped watching in s10 and didn’t catch up until i learned dean got possessed by michael FINALLY. but that disappointed me too, so. here we are, living on my blog with my own rules about the possessions and shit

can we talk about how dean’s ptsd is never addressed at all.

uh, john was an abusive asshole. no forgiveness here. there’s no excuses ‘he was a drunk, he missed his wife, he wanted dean to survive’ no, he was an abusive asshole that royally fucked dean up for good, and i will have none of the john apologist bullshit here, thanks. bobby was more a father to dean than john ever would’ve been

don’t really care for the claire arc all that much. i like her with jody, and i like jody’s little family with alex too, but the arc for claire is just.. really odd

donna is incredibly annoying. i’ll keep saying it, but tumblr writers do her so much better. show donna just. ugh.

i wrote a post about it once, but the episode i Hate the most is on the head of a pin, and i won’t super go into detail, but that whole episode is s shit show and i Do Not acknowledge it happened, thanks

I THINK THERE’S MORE BUT I’M BLANKING

the samulet and handprint both still exist, thanks. there’s a post about it somewhere on one of my blogs that i should bring out again

can we stop treating dean as either an angry fisticuffs player or an overall childish goofball? he has more to him than that

i’m still bitter over the ruby arc, honestly. it annoyed me in all the wrong ways. we can just assume that i’m fine with ruby writers at this point, nothing i say in this list pertains to writers on tumblr, just the show

the god is chuck thing is fine, but the whole direction the show took with it after amara is just fucking bananas. i mean sure, what else could they end on other than a fight against god, but still. fucking bananas. lets go back to the days of ‘maybe chuck is god’ in like s5, yknow?

um can dean and cas just kiss now? or how about like several seasons ago, but starting in like s11, even though i adore cas a lot, he started to get a little irritating. again, show writing, not tumblr writing. but he kinda started to become like... high and mighty and it does not mesh well with things, i think

ben is dean’s son, i dont care what you say.

um im trying to go through the seasons in my head to remember things that annoy me and are controversial, and aren’t just things that spn needs to fix, like andy’s death (still bitter)

what was that crowley and blood addiction shit that happened in like s10 or something? what was that supposed to be? was that supposed to mean something i am so confused

um are the ghostfacers even still alive, like this isn’t salt, i’m just genuinely concerned because if they are, why aren’t they in more episodes please

yo, maybe because i write pride and chronos and whatever, but the treatment of non-chrisitan deities is absolute Shit, thanks. like i get that the show is going for the christian religion is the Main thing, because most people get it, but like. as someone genuinely interested in religion, the utter disdain for other religious entities or even the idea that all demons are bad demons simply because demons is ridiculous. show some love to other entities. like for fuck’s sake, you can’t just kill the god of time? what the fuck? some of these gods were around long before any recorded history of the christian god, so i guarantee you at least half of them could kick god’s butt and call it a day.

s9 mark of cain dean was the best, that’s the end of that argument

wtf with the gabe storyline what even, gabe deserved better

imma go so far as to say lucifer did too, that was a bunch of nonsense. all of it that happened after s5, it’s all bullshit

actually the only angel that deserved what they god was metatron, thanks, the asshole.

also can we talk about death, like. dont get me wrong billie is cool, but i want my original pizza-loving death back please, he and dean had a cool thing going on. also tessa, can we bring back tessa

honestly rowena annoyed me in the beginning. she grew on me, but i feel like a lot of her character was forced.

the dean and pie thing has gone a little too far at this point

*claps* i *claps* don’t *claps* like *claps* sam! literally half the things in this post are me dancing around this idea, but most of my salt for the show stems from my dislike of him.

idek the general opinion on this, but i did Not like the crazy cas & meg situation. like all of that. it was weird. i mean i didn’t even really like meg, to be honest. but that whole arc was fucking weird, and that relationship (one kiss?) felt super forced.

actually can we stop having cas just. fucking switch personalities all the time? s4 cas was the best.

dean does Not put sam above everyone else. he will try to save sam, yes, but sam is not the most important person to dean, and dean will not choose sam above cas or bobby or charlie or jody or literally anyone.

IM RUNNING OUT OF THOUGHTS BUT I KNOW I HAVE MORE so. we’ll come back to this.

#;;fox answers #oops spilled the salt #i don't apologize for anything #Anonymous #delivered

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sickandtideeeee · 5 years

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By Bast - Chapter 16 (Erik x Reader)

A/N: In retrospect I should have combined this chapter and the last because it’s a quick read and to the point.. Anyway, the story might take a different direction from here, and you’ll see why shortly.

Night was beginning to fall once again, and with it started a soft, pattering rain that all but drowned out the croaks of bullfrogs and hoot of jungle owls. You had been sitting outside the cabin for some fresh air, leafing through a worn copy of The Autobiography of Malcolm X, but it was now time to return indoors to avoid the rain.

When you re-entered the cabin, Erik was writing on an old notepad, in neat, small script. While you couldn’t see exactly what he was writing, you were surprised by his careful cursive - you would have expected large block letters or chicken scratch to match his loud, abrasive personality. When he saw you approaching, he stopped scribbling and closed the notepad before addressing you.

“Your waist beads, are they Kimoyo beads or different?” he asked, brusquely. Before you could answer the question, he was standing before you, his hands had slipped under your shirt at waist level to get a grasp of your accessory.

You tensed automatically and sensing this, Erik whispered to calm down, and gently raised your shirt to your navel. Your heart quickened as he inspected each and every bead for technological capability.

“I’m checking if we can be tracked.” He said, letting go of your shirt. “Y’all wear those Kimoyo beads in all types of ways so I couldn’t be too sure.”

“These are religious.” You muttered under your breath, still feeling somewhat violated. Regardless, you sat down where he had reseated himself, opening his notepad once more.

You sat at the table quietly, the sound of the now-pouring rain hitting the roof underlining the uncomfortable tension in the room. You weren’t sure you wanted to continue to be around him, but you also knew you didn’t have a choice. You got the sense that Erik was starting to get just as uneasy being in such small quarters with you. His right leg bounced up and down, his foot tapping audibly under the table. It seemed like this was a place he was used to being alone in.

“How’d you get chosen?” Erik asked, not looking up from his notepad.

“Chosen?” You repeated, slowly, for clarification.

“You’re a priestess, right? How’d they choose you?”

“I don’t think it was chosen… Being-” you hesitated at the mention, “my father’s child, I think it was decided for me.”

Erik looked up now, observing your expression intently. You kept it blank intentionally, not wanting to be read. However, something about his look encouraged you to keep talking.

“I was adopted, so naturally I think I was pledged to service.” You paused for a moment, then continued. “I don’t remember anything about my life before I came to Wakanda.”

He said nothing in response, and went back to his work. The scritch-scratching of pencil against paper was starting to make you anxious, especially since you had opened up in that fashion. You never talked about being adopted, and his silence frustrated you.

You let out a small sigh, and reopened your book. After about another hour of reading, a loud yawn betrayed your fatigue, but you stayed seated, afraid to suggest sleeping on the only bed. Erik looked up at you again, his eyes showing not quite concern, but wariness.

“Go sleep,” he offered, flicking his chin towards the bed. “Imma be up a while longer.”

Reluctantly, you got to your feet, sliding the wooden chair carefully into the table. The idea of falling asleep with this man in the room was unnerving, but in moments you knew you’d pass out in the chair. Getting under the covers, you turned away from Erik to face the wall, so that you could no longer see him watch you as carefully as a hawk. You wished you could tell him just how overbearing his gaze could be, but to be honest, he probably was well aware.

Yet again, you were sleeping in the same room as a man who had the unnerving combination of the strength to snap you into a twig if he felt like it and the callousness to not care at all if he did. However, you reasoned that if he had meant to kill you, it would have happened a while ago. Plus, you both had seen that shield, generated in a moment’s panic. Hopefully, it would work just as well against him as it had for the beast you’d encountered.

You lay so pressed into the wall that your nose almost grazed the wood. Erik apparently had lied about staying up because the kerosene lamp that illuminated the room now had been put out, and the bed creaked under the weight of his body as he climbed in. You were now rigid as a board, but Erik kept his distance.

When he spoke to you, you almost jumped out of fear at his deep voice ringing out in the dark.

“Was Wakanda good to you?” he asked. “Coming from the outside and all?”

You hesitated before responding yes.

“At least they did right by someone.” Those words weren’t really addressed to you but they sat through your head.

At least they did right by someone.

What you heard instead was Why couldn’t they do right by me?

The next morning, Erik was gone.

At first you wondered. Then you waited. Then you worried. Finally, you wandered.

Up and down through those dirt paths, you searched for Erik, not believing that he could have actually left you in that cabin, alone, with no warning and without a trace. Except one thing: a small piece of paper, shoved between a page of the Autobiography that you had dog-eared to bookmark and the following page, one that read “Thank you.” That had been there the entire time, hadn’t it? That couldn’t have been some kind of half-assed farewell message, could it? Of course not.

Maybe Erik had been attacked by a smarter, more clever animal, you reasoned. Maybe he’d been overtaken by a deep slumber somewhere and counted on you to wake him. Maybe he’d fallen into a ravine and hoped you would throw him a rope. Maybe he had heatstroke and you’d be the savior who provided him with fresh water and shade.

There was just no possible way in Bast’s good earth that he could have abandoned you like this.

In your aimless march, you had gone so far from the shelter that you had no idea how to return. Similarly, in the grand scheme of things, you truly were at a point of no return. You sank to your knees, your thighs and calves burning from hours of nonstop trekking. After searching all day, night was falling yet again.

What would you do now?

Now, you wept.

Tagging: @syndrlla97 @iwantsomethingeternal@1killmonger @chasingsunlight22@hoopshoney@destinio1 @wakanda-inspired @thadelightfulone @lalasparkles @pessimisfit @youreadthatright @stark-red19@ruruly20@bossyboyd03 @autumn242 @heybriheyyy @thelovelyliterary@muse-of-mbaku @bidibidibombaclaat @supersizemeplz@romanceoftheeveryday@chaneajoyyy@lildashofmelanin @blackpinup22 @imayhavemisunderstood @raysunshine78 @killmongersbaby@fonville-designs @ l-auteuse @babygurlniah43 @cheesedjunhoe

#erik x reader #erik killmonger x reader #killmonger x reader #erik x black reader #erik killmonger #black panther imagine #black panther fanfic #enemies to lovers #slow burn #fantasy #by bast

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valeriaannacruz · 3 years

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Let’s get real...

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name? Valeria Ana Cruz

Where and when were you born? Somewhere in Columbia, June 21, 1996.

What is your occupation? I’m a Musician.

Are you right- or left-handed? I’m ambidextrous.

What does your voice sound like? It’s smooth af.

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? Fuck you! Cunt face! Come mierda! My top three.

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general? What childhood?

What is your earliest memory? Um, can we just skip that shit? Thanks.

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Anywhere else in the world, doin’ whatever the fuck I wanted. Without anybody else tellin’ me what I could or couldn’t do.

As a child, what were your favorite activities? Anytime I was learnin’ basic fuckin’ life skills, when I wasn’t ‘working.’

When and with whom was your first kiss? Again, that’s shit I’d rather forget.

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? No. I never exactly had a say in it and it’s not somethin’ I don’t wanna relive.

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? The day I got away from the people who fucked my life up.

Do you have a criminal record of any kind? Yeah. And?

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? When people ask about my upbringing and I gotta make some random shit up. Otherwise, all they do is give me those, pity eyes.

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? To have an actual family. ‘Cause my original family, were fucked up pieces of fuckin’ shit.

What is your best memory? When I started doin’ music.

What is your worst memory? My entire childhood.

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

What are your religious views? Who the fuck knows anymore, ya know? People are fuckin’ crazy out there.

What are your political views? I vote for whoever the fuck is really gonna have my fuckin’ back.

What are your views on sex? Sex is sex. Till it’s more than that.

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Maybe try askin’ the people who ran my life into the ground. Oh, wait. They didn’t give a fuck.

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? Yeah, if you’re not all fucked up and damaged goods you’ve got better fuckin’ odds.

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? Me, myself and I.

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

Have you ever been in love? Once. Not sure I’d recommend it though.

What do you look for in a potential lover? Just be fuckin’ decent and not a total fuckin’ asshole.

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? Nope. ‘Cause people, they’ll always let you down in the end.

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Not many people to be honest.

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? YUP. Imma party til I fuckin’ drop.

Do you care what others think of you? ¿Para qué? It’s a waste of fuckin’ time.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? Takin’ hallucinogenics and blasting music and painting with naked bodies. It’s a fuckin’ trip.

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? All the time. ‘Cause why the fuck not? Nope.

What, if anything, shocks or offends you? People thinkin’ I give a single fuck about their fuckin’ opinion.

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? I guess that would mean, I’m goin’ on another mind bendin’ trip.

How do you deal with stress? I don’t know. I do all kinds of random shit. I don’t know until I’m doin’ it.

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? Hella spontaneous.

PART 7: SELF IMAGES & OTHER

Name three things you consider yourself to be very good at, and three things you consider yourself to be very bad at. How’s ‘bout you just imagine it for yourself?

Do you like yourself? Um, duh.

If you could choose, how would you want to die? Why I gotta die for? If you knew you were going to die in 24 hours, name three things you would do in the time you had left. I’d be doin’ straight up dumb bucket list shit. ‘Cause I got a whole lifetime of shit to make up for.

What is the one thing for which you would most like to be remembered after your death? My music.

What three words would others probably use to describe you? Bitch. Intelligent. Survivor.

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sighlizz · 6 years

Note

3, 4, 7, 8, 17, 20-40

3: Talk about the person you’ve had the most intense romantic feelings for.There have only been two people in my life that I’ve had serious romantic relationships with and fortunately one is still well in my life. The first one, definitely my first love, not really my favorite person or someone I would be friends with now. But I really can’t deny that. And the one still in my life is my current boyfriend, which I love to death. And I never really know how much is too sappy, so I’m constantly under sappy and I’m sorry for that. He’s pretty honest with me when I need him to be, which I appreciate lots, sometimes I think he sugar coats things. He’s one of the cleanest boys I know, which I think is like a huge bonus?! and he always knows how to make me laugh and when to comfort me. He’s my best friend, so what more could I ask for?

4: Talk about the thing you regret most so far.I regret everything I ever do? Ha, but one of the things that I don’t think anyone really knows about much, is family. I often times let my (dads side) family walk all over me and talk down on my brother and I. I don’t ever stand up for myself, it’s a love-hate relationship I have with them. For example, my mom couldn’t afford to pay for all of my dads funeral expenses, so my family came in and I wanted my dad to be buried at a specific spot but it was a little bit pricier, and my uncle had come in and told me “beggars can’t be choosers” Long story short, they turned around and decided we were going to have to pay them back for the whole funeral. Which was shitty.

7: Talk about your biggest insecurity.I almost want to say my intelligence? I mean I’ve got quite a few insecurities, but my intelligence is one of the bigger ones that I don’t think many people know about. A lot of my grades after elementary school, I feel like were very unimpressive, and I don’t know if it’s because I don’t try enough or I really am stupid. I’ve been diagnosed with ADD and I have been prescribed for medication in the past and my grades were terrific then, but it also makes me shitty and suicidal so I don’t enjoy taking it and I haven’t been taking it since like my freshman year of high school. But even socially, I feel like I can be saying some nonsense and I’m just completely embarrassed later.

8: Talk about the thing you are most proud of.This took me a long time to kind of figure out. But my heritage, it’s not super common, and I really like it when people ask like where I’m from actually. I mean unfortunately both sides of my family don’t clash well together, but I’m able to go to one side and just experience things and go to another side, and both families are immigrants so the traditions are pretty live and well.

17: Talk about someone you want to be friends with. Anyone willing to hand me some money? Show me the finer things in life? lol, on a real note, I feel like I’m friends with everyone I would like to be close to, with an exception of old best friends, but ya know, it’s life.

20: Talk about something that happened in high school.Ooo, girl, I was just with a friend I haven’t seen since high school like a few hours ago and she brought up this story that I forgot. I had just been broken up with this guy I had been with for two years and yikes, well he had milk in his locker/cubbies and like who tf leaves milk all day in their locker? So that was nasty, anyways, I opened up that milk and poured it all over his clothes and books in the BACK of his locker, so he wouldn’t even know and I was in guard and all the girls thought it was funny, so like 3 days later this horrible stench comes and people are trying to figure out like what that nasty smell was, HA ya it was coming from his locker and he had to clean everything out, and oh my gosh, my text books were still in his locker! And I thought those textbooks was owned by the girl he was flirting with so I was about to pour milk onto those books too, but luckily I didn’t cause, um ya haha they were mine actually. Anyways the girls and I laughed, the end.

21: Talk about a time you had to turn someone down.I feel like I don’t turn people down? It’s probably worst, lol. I’ll give someone a chance, and if I’m not feeling it, I do a 180 and ghost them.

22: Talk about your worst fear.Oh, well I’m religious so like I’m dead serious. Demons, like not even the devil that I’m kinda scared of, it’s like demons from like Insidious the movie. Like with zombies? I could kill myself and I don’t have to deal with them anymore. But demons, oh my, no, they’ve got you.

23: Talk about a time someone turned you down.N/A ?

24: Talk about something someone told you that meant a lot.I don’t think I can really pinpoint anything specifically right now, but anytime a friend comes to me with a problem they have I feel special, I’m terrible at giving advice, but I’m always around to sit and listen and mope with you. And also anytime someone comes to me and just tells me their true feelings about something, knowing that they feel comfortable enough to open up about something, that’s good stuff.

25: Talk about an ex-best friend.This happened recently that she became my ex-best friend. I don’t know I miss her and I still hope the best for her. I’m sure if I reached out and kept bothering her she’ll eventually let me into her life, lol, but I just don’t think that’s a good idea. She’s really pretty and definitely one of the most realistic people I know and honestly, I don’t have a whole lot of girlfriends, so losing one out of the few I already barely had made me devastated.

26: Talk about things you do when you’re sick.I sleep? Don’t do very much because I’m so tired. And I’m not sick very often either, but when I do, I’ll probably do 3 gulps of NyQuil, no more, no less. Definitely not the amount recommended but I sleep more and that’s all I care about.

27: Talk about your favorite part of someone else’s body.Hmm, I love a good nose. Noses are probably my favorite, I love the tip of the nose, the cartilage part, it’s a good part. I also really like fingernails. I think those two specifically are my favorite because I don’t like my own nose and fingernails.

28: Talk about your fetishes.If you’re able to find my BDSM test scores, I feel like those are all still pretty relevant. The only new thing is I’m a slight masochist.

29: Talk about what turns you on.I’m a slut for people who text back fast. Anytime someones got Old Spice deodorant, like my sense of smell isn’t great, but I can pinpoint who’s wearing it and I love it. I guess just caring about my safety should be a basic one, but ya I like that. Complimenting me, that’s basic, I don’t know these are all basic. I am a basic girl, feed me and touch my hair and I’m in love. Maybe it’s little things I like, are these little things? I feel like these aren’t very high standards lol.

30: Talk about what turns you off.If you don’t keep up with basic hygiene and if you don’t care how you appear to other people, then we’re going to have a problem. If you’re inconsiderate and have no manners, like dinner table wise especially, eek. If we’re texting and you make me wait for long periods of time (talking about hours, lol minutes is pushing it, but I guess I gotta be realistic) then Imma drop you.

31: Talk about what you think death is like.I would like to think there’s a heaven. Everyone is happy and dandy and those who deserve not to be there, ya. They’re not there, heh heh. But I guess my faith is not all that stable, because otherwise, I think it’s just cold and dark.

32: Talk about a place you remember from your childhood.Hmm, well I lived in southern California for the most of my life, but when I was younger my cousins had this house up in central California and basically a farm. Cows, chickens, goats, dogs the whole thing and before I started high school, I would go there every summer and like just run around and that was fun.

33: Talk about what you do when you are sad.Ooooo, listen to sad boi music. Cry more. And it’s a good time. If it’s really bad, then I’ll call up a friend and have them just keep me company, but by the time they get to me I stop crying because I hate crying around people, and they’ll ask me what’s wrong and I’ll try to avoid the question and act like nothing has happened and we’ll eventually talk then they leave, and I cry again. It’s a routine I have.

34: Talk about the worst physical pain you’ve endured.Once in middle school, I got some sort of kissing disease or I was sharing too many of my drinks and I got this gnarly infection in my mouth. I couldn’t eat or swallow so I basically starved myself. Eating caused me an enormous amount pain and starving wasn’t any better. So I lost a quite a bit of weight, and at one point I thought I was going to die. lol

35: Talk about things you wish you could stop doing.PROCASTINATiNG. BEING LAZY. Cracking my knuckles, shaking my leg when I’m nervous, turning red when I’m embarrassed. I wish I wasn’t so petty, that I was just nicer. I want to stop judging people, the last two things I really try working on, but I’ve still got some=progress to do.

36: Talk about your guilty pleasures.Oof, I love looking at myself. I love picking at my own skin too, it’s really unnecessary but I enjoy it (and if I’m virtually spotless, then I attack my brother, a gold mine for me)

37: Talk about someone you thought you were in love with.Omg. Middle school. I don’t know. We’re all stupid then. I’m glad none of my current friends were close to me, Jesus. I don’t know??? I said I love you to the guy??? UGH. dumb and gross.

38: Talk about songs that remind you of certain people.Fuqboi - Kelsey Hauf, thanks for showing me songs you think I would like, because I did like them, but mostly because you thought about me.Unintended (Muse) - Aileen, we both cried our eyes out to this, for the same reasons Wait a Minute! - Tegan, thanks for always screaming this song with me, I don’t know why we like it so much, lol My Boo (Hitman’s Club remix)- Michael, because you would dance this every time it came on and I thought it was so darn cute.Toothbrush (DNCE)- Michael, lol one of the first songs that I associated with you, it was on the radio constantly and we were always together. I’ve been meaning to make a playlist, but just never got around to it.

39: Talk about things you wish you’d known earlier.Don’t go to parties with people you barely know. Don’t drink alone with only one person. Save your virginity, like wtf. Be on top of your shit, life goes by WAY to fast for the worst.

40: Talk about the end of something in your life.A lot of my life was carefree, up until my dad passed. I didn’t worry about anything and took care of nothing. When my dad passed, I felt like I was forced to start doing things all of the sudden, taking care of my brother, making sure my mom was okay (she started to drink a whole lot more) and I would have to put her in her place, take her to bed, made sure she got up for work, etc), I had to start learning how to drive because my dad was the person who took us everywhere. So after that, I was given a lot more freedom, but I also was given a ton of more responsibilities.

#:)#ha #Thanks for the questions!#I had this all written out yesterday but somehow got deleted #so here I am again 3:42 AM #writing it all out again #made me actually think and reflect on stuff #hmh #BUT AGAIN #Thanks!

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brotherzsadist · 5 years

Note

clears throat ALL 100 QUESTIONS

LISTEN BITCH YOU 6 PARTS I GOT TIRED

PART 1: THE BASICS

What is your full name? Zsadist, no idea what my real name is

Where and when were you born? I assume Erebus, over five thousand years ago

Who are/were your parents? (Know their names, occupations, personalities, etc.) Some pieces of shits, don’t know them don’t care

Do you have any siblings? What are/were they like? No idea if I have blood siblings

Where do you live now, and with whom? Describe the place and the person/people.

What is your occupation? South Korea with my husband and three kids

Write a full physical description of yourself. You might want to consider factors such as: height, weight, race, hair and eye color, style of dress, and any tattoos, scars, or distinguishing marks. 6′5, 220 lbs. I appear Asian don’t know why, eyes are brown, sometimes blue depending on my mood. I dress practical, leather, tees, boots, sneakers, sometimes jeans. I got plenty of scars, birthmark on my right hand, 5 piercings

To which social class do you belong? Depends on who you ask, I got money tho

Do you have any allergies, diseases, or other physical weaknesses? No, no, and it’s not weakness but sometimes my hands go numb

Are you right- or left-handed? I can use both but I use my right hand mainly

What does your voice sound like? Like my voice? Uh, I’m a second tenor if that helps

What words and/or phrases do you use very frequently? Shits, gimme smooches, im sure there’s more but I don’t know off the top of my head

What do you have in your pockets? Currently -goes in his pocket- chapstick, my keys, and wallet

Do you have any quirks, strange mannerisms, annoying habits, or other defining characteristics? I lick faces, play with hair, I don’t know if anything’s really weird until its mentioned

PART 2: GROWING UP

How would you describe your childhood in general? Fucked

What is your earliest memory? Waking up in a stone room with 10 other people

How much schooling have you had? None

Did you enjoy school? Never been

Where did you learn most of your skills and other abilities? On my own or by people who sort became a mentor

While growing up, did you have any role models? If so, describe them. I had two. On the surface both of them scared the hell out of me. One willingly participated in pretty much being a co-master while the other at first was just around to fuck me too but he wasn’t so that’s great. Eventually found out both of them were big softies

While growing up, how did you get along with the other members of your family? I didn’t

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? Free

As a child, what were your favorite activities? singing, playing the guitar, and swimming

As a child, what kinds of personality traits did you display? I was shy as fuck, quiet

As a child, were you popular? Who were your friends, and what were they like? What type of popular? Everyone wanted to fuck me and then as I got older everyone wanted to be fucked by me so....

When and with whom was your first kiss? I was about 12 or 13 and with my master

Are you a virgin? If not, when and with whom did you lose your virginity? Nope. Again, 12 or 13 and with my master

If you are a supernatural being (i.e. mage, werewolf, vampire), tell the story of how you became what you are or first learned of your own abilities. If you are just a normal human, describe any influences in your past that led you to do the things you do today. Born a demon, when I was 15 my master and her friend did some crazy ass magic with her blood and mine and turned me into the first vampire

PART 3: PAST INFLUENCES

What do you consider the most important event of your life so far? My youngest daughter’s birth

Who has had the most influence on you? Unfortunately, my master

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Luna

What is your greatest regret? I don’t have one

What is the most evil thing you have ever done? Tortured parents in front of their kids who I didn’t even think to check for because they were hiding

Do you have a criminal record of any kind? Pretty sure my life if a criminal record

When was the time you were the most frightened? I don’t even know, no wait. That’s a lie, Rajuli know’s so I won’t say it.

What is the most embarrassing thing ever to happen to you? Nothing, I don’t get embarrassed easily

If you could change one thing from your past, what would it be, and why? Nothing because then I wouldn’t be who I am

What is your best memory? Playing the fields with the faeries with someone who was very dear to me

What is your worst memory? Finding out that person was killed, ordered by my master

PART 4: BELIEFS & OPINIONS

Are you basically optimistic or pessimistic? Both depending on the situation

What is your greatest fear? Losing my children and husband

What are your religious views? Everything and everyone exists

What are your political views? Don’t have one

What are your views on sex? It’s fun with the people/person otherwise I don’t care for it

Are you able to kill? Under what circumstances do you find killing to be acceptable or unacceptable? Yup, I don’t harm children

In your opinion, what is the most evil thing any human being could do? Harm a child

Do you believe in the existence of soul mates and/or true love? That I do

What do you believe makes a successful life? As long as you’re happy and safe

How honest are you about your thoughts and feelings (i.e. do you hide your true self from others, and in what way)? Too honest, it’s how most of my fights with friends and family start

Do you have any biases or prejudices? I don’t think so

Is there anything you absolutely refuse to do under any circumstances? Why do you refuse to do it? Again as long as it doesn’t involve harming a child, I’ll try anything once

Who or what, if anything, would you die for (or otherwise go to extremes for)? My family

PART 5: RELATIONSHIPS W/OTHERS

In general, how do you treat others (politely, rudely, by keeping them at a distance, etc.)? Does your treatment of them change depending on how well you know them, and if so, how? It definitely changes on how I know them. I don’t trust easily so I tend to be cold, standoffish towards new people depending on the situation. I’m not rude unless you give a reason to be

Who is the most important person in your life, and why? My kids and husband, because they are my life

Who is the person you respect the most, and why? This has changed quite a few times, but imma say my Brother Vishous. No matter what happens he never changes

Who are your friends? Do you have a best friend? Describe these people. There’s too many to list now, they all crazy as fuck in their own ways but also very caring

Do you have a spouse or significant other? If so, describe this person. I do. Rajuli is... He’s something else. Just when I think I’ve figured him out he hits me with another curve ball. but he’s so warm and cute even though he has his asshole moments but I love him and wouldn’t trade him for anyone

Have you ever been in love? If so, describe what happened. Mutual love, twice now. First in my opinion felt like it ended up being one sided in the end. The second is currently with my husband.

What do you look for in a potential lover? Be honest with yourself, if you can do that then you can be honest with me and that’s all I ask for

How close are you to your family? The family that I started, very close

Have you started your own family? If so, describe them. If not, do you want to? Why or why not? Yes, three kids and my husband and if he stops playing around we would have kids together

Who would you turn to if you were in desperate need of help? My Brothers

Do you trust anyone to protect you? Who, and why? again my Brothers. We’ve been through a lot together and we hold no judgement towards each other

If you died or went missing, who would miss you? Hopefully my family and my friends

Who is the person you despise the most, and why? Parents, they fucking sold me into slavery

Do you tend to argue with people, or avoid conflict? Avoid conflict, however I will stand my ground when I feel something isn’t fair or something that’s being done is wrong

Do you tend to take on leadership roles in social situations? Depends but yes

Do you like interacting with large groups of people? Why or why not? No, it gives me a headache

Do you care what others think of you? Depends on who it is, in general no, but those close to me, yes.

PART 6: LIKES & DISLIKES

What is/are your favorite hobbies and pastimes? Singing, guitar, racing, basketball

What is your most treasured possession? a hand drawing of me from my childhood

What is your favorite color? I like them all but I guess, blue

What is your favorite food? don’t have one

What, if anything, do you like to read? I don’t like reading

What is your idea of good entertainment (consider music, movies, art, etc.)? concert, festivals, anything that has to do with the outdoors

Do you smoke, drink, or use drugs? If so, why? Do you want to quit? Yes I do. I cut back on the smoking and drinking just because I do have a 10 month old

How do you spend a typical Saturday night? At home with the man and kids being dorks

What makes you laugh?I find humor in anything, you fell down and scrapped your knee? I’m bent over dying of laughter

What, if anything, shocks or offends you? Nothing

What would you do if you had insomnia and had to find something to do to amuse yourself? Play the guitar or piano, taking pictures of the husband sleeping, sing to Luna

How do you deal with stress? go to work

Are you spontaneous, or do you always need to have a plan? a little of both

What are your pet peeves? I don’t like when someone clearly isn’t happy and doesn’t express it, almost as if they expect me to know what is wrong

#maergo #rajuli #r

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midnightartemis · 4 years

Text

Chapter One (On AO3 Now!)

She learned how to survive. Learned how he always hit her where no one could see, but he only did it when he was raging drunk and he only was raging drunk a few times a month. She learned his tells, knew that some nights she was better off stealing a slushie from the 7-Eleven and camping out at the skatepark until it was late enough to go back home.

As long as she did her chores and didn’t give him trouble, Plutt let her be. Rey was okay with that. She could survive that.

She’s been coming to the park for a while now, at least when the weather was decent, which it almost always was in Southern Cali. There was something comforting about the sound of wheels and boards on concrete, the whoops and hollers of the skaters, the warmth of the sun on her skin. Reminded her of the desert- only the best parts. People left her alone.

They had learned to after… Well, after they learned what happened when they didn’t. A few bloody noses. A few broken boards. Cause and effect.

The only ones who ever paid her any mind were Kuruk and his small band of boys in black. She respected their space and they respected hers. And after the broken nose incident, she’d almost become an honorary member of their group. A staple of the skatepark. She’d never had anywhere to belong before.

It didn’t mean anything and you could fuck off if you thought it did.

Rey watched them lazily, sipping on her stolen slushie as Cardo and AP kept biffing it on the same rail trick with a loud “fuck!” Every time.

There were a few other people around, but like usual, most had left as it started to get dark.

“Hey! Hey!”

Rey snapped to focus, frowning as she realized Kuruk had been trying to get her attention for a while and was now slowly jogging over to her. He held his board at his side and there was a lopsided smile on his face. He wore black baggy jeans and a baggy t-shirt like the rest of them and he always kept his dark hair buzz cut like he once thought about joining the military but only committed to the hairstyle.

“What.”

Kuruk laughed. “You’re a Rey of fuckin sunshine, you know that?”

Rey rolled her eyes. It was only the millionth time he had used that line on her. “What do you want, Kuruk?”

She sighed. “You better have the good vodka this time. And better smokes. Those last ones tasted like dried out ass crack.”

“Yeah, yeah. Totally. One of my buddies is coming back from Chandrila and bringing the good college town shit.”

She didn’t know much about college towns but was fairly certain that “good college town shit” didn’t exist. She nodded anyway. “Fine. But imma kick your ass in Mario Kart.”

“Bet.” Kuruk offered her a hand and Rey let him pull her to her feet. She practically flew off the ground and threw them both into the bowl. It wasn’t that Kuruk was supernaturally strong or anything- she had seen him shirtless and seen that unfortunate happy trail- it was just that she was built like a skinny prepubescent boy with an eating disorder. Rey landed in Kuruk’s arms and scowled, shoving him off before he could say anything. Some whistles echoed over the park. She grabbed her melted purple slushie and flipped off the rest of the guys.

They skated through the darkening streets of Coruscant, slow enough that Rey could keep up on foot. It wasn’t hard. None of them could go ten feet without tipping a trash can over or trying to nail a trick off the curb. No one cared as they loudly made their way down the street, making themselves known to the world in the one way they could. Rey trailed after them in the dark. They left the cracked and degrading streets and dipped through a hole in the chain-link fence, passing through a barely used rail yard and a dry culvert until they reached a small mostly abandoned warehouse.

A few years back some real estate guy had bought it and started trying to convert the place into condos. He got about halfway done before, probably, coming to his senses and realizing that no one on the south side of Coruscant wanted to buy a luxury condo. Even if there was exposed brick and industrial aesthetic , there was also high crime rates and a hatred of outsiders and gentrification. Scared off most of the investors and the rest vanished after the recession hit and never seemed to leave the south side. Buying the one completed loft back from the city was the only smart decision the guys ever made. Even if they only did it to piss the cops off who kept kicking them out for trespassing.

The Loft as they called it consisted of a giant open area that functioned as a gaming room and kitchen, the most disgusting bathroom Rey had ever stepped foot in, and three bedrooms which had once been split between all of them till Cardo got his own place and Vic moved in with his pregnant girlfriend. Three bedrooms became six after one drunken night where Ushar had taken a sledgehammer to the wall and broken into the abandoned half-finished apartment next door. As far as Rey knew, they were arguing between turning that living room into a sex dungeon or a pool table room. The vote was fifty-fifty since Rey refused to participate and Trudge, convinced he could have both, refused to pick a side. The whole place constantly smelled of weed and Kuruk’s weird incense.

Rey would never admit it, but she secretly loved the place. The ceilings were at least twelve feet high and there were huge metal-framed windows that looked out over a field of dead grass to the lights of the city.

Kuruk dug through the mess of a freezer pulling out a half bottle of Everclear and a mostly empty bottle of Captain Morgan, which Rey snatched from him without a word. She found an unopened can of coke and poured it straight into the Captain's bottle, swishing it around before taking a large sip. No one blinked an eye.

Across the room, Ushar cursed as he tried to get the projector working. It wasn’t that old of a projector, but it had been purchased from some seedy electronic store that definitely looked the other way on where they acquired their products. Gaming was about the only thing they ever spent their money on and they had almost every game and system out there. That was the other reason Rey secretly liked this place. Secretly liked most of them.

Rey carried her bottle with her across the room, stopping Ushar before the stout Mexican twin started to rip the machine apart in frustration. His brother, Trudge, was the same in almost every way- built like a tank and while they could be bright at times, they were oblivious to almost everything.

If she was being honest, AP was the only guy she ever thought about letting win their stupid bet. He was shy and generally quiet and never really said much to her, which Rey preferred. He was cute, too, with short black hair, dark skin, and brown eyes. But he was more like a brother than anything. He was insanely smart, which made him the brains of the operation, and about the only one with any real sense. He took up his usual position on the couch and started to roll a joint from their last bits of weed.

“Hey, dickheads. The lady’s already chosen Mario Kart.” Kuruk slammed a shot glass on the table. “Loser finishes the Everclear.”

“She always fuckin wins.” Trudge groaned. “She always picks rainbow road. I fuckin hate rainbow road.”

Rey smiled to herself as Trudge and Ushar groaned but ultimately complied with their ringleader’s orders.

She could kick their asses at Mario Kart with a blindfold on. Rey snatched up the Wii remote and easily beat Trudge, Ushar, and Kuruk on Mario Kart’s three hardest courses. Even when Kuruk sat beside her and Trudge tried to tackle him over the back of the couch. Happy with her victory and at the sight of Ushar and Trudge gagging down straight Everclear, she released them to fight over endless rounds of COD.

Her and AP quietly pass the last joint back and forth, her eyes growing hazy as she practices blowing smoke rings into the air.

“God you fuckers are rank.”

Kuruk caught him staring at her and puffed out his chest in some sort of testosterone-filled dominance display. The stranger's eyes didn’t leave her. Rey did the only thing she could think of to win whatever battle she was having with this asshole and downed the rest of the Captain's bottle without breaking eye contact. The corner of his lip tweaked up.

Kuruk cleared his throat. “Kylo - Rey. Rey - Kylo.”

Kylo. Rey glared. What was it with them and stupid names?

Kylo frowned at her glare for only a moment before shoving a black backpack into Kuruk’s chest. “I brought your shit seeing as that’s the only reason you wanted me back, fucker.”

Maker, his voice. Deep and rough liked smoked whiskey and thunder. She wasn’t high enough for this.

Rey sat back down on the end seat of the couch and tried to mindlessly watch as Trudge and Ushar went back to trying to kill each other. AP returned to his rolling board with the fresh bag of weed. Bag of bags Rey realized. There had to be several hundred dollars in a dozen different strains in there. She tried not to let her eyes drift to the newcomer. He stood in the kitchen pouring drinks with Kuruk. The muscles in his back stretched his tight black t-shirt as he moved. The bottle he held looked fucking minuscule in his hands. He talked to Kuruk with dark eyes and a scowl on his face, never stopping as he pulled bartending tools out of various drawers and cabinets. He knew the loft. He knew them well enough to waltz in and start digging through the drawers.

Rey looked away before Kuruk could catch her watching Kylo. It was barely a secret that Kuruk was trying to claim her— a fact that pissed her off to no end. But the last thing she wanted tonight was to start a fight. She just wanted to bliss out for a bit. Pass out on the couch so she didn’t have to wander back to Plutt until the afternoon when her shift started.

Her eyes kept betraying her, slipping away from COD to the man taking up a majority of the kitchen. Kylo had pulled several bottles of liquor and mixers from the bag and- was that a fucking lemon and lime?

Kylo’s eyes flickered up to meet hers. A little smirk formed on his lips and Rey kept her mouth in a firm scowl. She already had too many cocky assholes in her life. She didn’t need one more.

She looked away from him and poked AP with her foot. Without skipping a beat, he pulled her favorite bong out from under the table, packed it, and handed it and a lighter to her. Maybe she wasn’t completely surrounded by assholes. He knew not to give her sativas, not after the time he found her in the bathtub having a full-blown panic attack.

Rey adjusted herself and lit up, filling the pipe until it was opaque with smoke. She sucked the entire take deep into her lungs in one go, holding it there as she let her head fall back. She let the smoke out slowly playing with it and blowing double rings into the air to watch them drift lazily up. Kuruk wasn’t lying. This was the good stuff. A dark figure stepped into the corner of her eye and Rey looked up to find Kylo standing by the couch. He held a dark amber drink in one hand and a pale pink drink in the other.

“Trade?” There was a teasing quality to his question that pissed Rey off. No doubt the pink drink was meant for her. Rey smiled sweetly.

“Sure.” She pressed the bong to his ridiculously broad chest— no she was not noticing or thinking about it at all— and snatched the glass of amber liquid from his hand. A puzzled look crossed over his face and Rey pushed away the unwanted thought that he was kinda cute. For an asshole. A moment later that cocky smile was back and he set the pink drink on the table. Kylo motioned for the lighter and she handed it to him snatching her hand back like she was burned when his hand brushed against her own. Rey blamed it on the fact that she was half-way to Elysium when she openly stared at him as he took a hit as strong as her own and pulled off a proper French inhale.

It wasn’t sexy.

It wasn’t sexy at all.

A moment later he exhaled completely, their smoke combining to hang around them in a thick haze. His eyes never left her and Rey wondered if he could see into the darkest depths of her soul to see his own reflection. He handed the bong back to her, reached down for the pink drink and downed it all in one go.

A loud swear from Trudge broke Rey out of whatever hellish subspace she had been trapped in with Kylo. AP shot her a glance like he saw everything that happened and behind him in the kitchen, Kuruk looked close to murder. He had seen too.

“How long you staying, Ren?” AP shifted between the two of them, sensing the impending fight as much as Rey did.

“No fucking clue. Might stick around for a bit.”

“Awwww was college too much for you, Einstein?” Kuruk pouted mockingly.

“Nah. They’re blaming me for nearly blowing up the chem building. Academic probation since they can’t prove it wasn’t an accident.” Kylo held on to his glass and stared down Kuruk. AP went back to rolling his joints not wanting to get in the middle of it. This was bigger than her, Rey realized. Territory dispute.

Strange how they do that. Though girls tended to be worse than guys. Guys just wanted to sleep with her. Girls wanted to murder her. Sometimes it was cause and effect— either way.

“Was it?” It took a moment for her brain to catch up to her mouth to realize she had said that.

Kylo raised an eyebrow. “Was it what, sunshine?”

“Fuck off, dickwad.” Kuruk plopped down beside her and threw his arm on the couch behind her shoulder. Not quite touching her but still trying to stake a claim on her. As if he could. He smelt of BO and stale cigarettes and she couldn’t get the thought of that sad happy trail out of her head. She wasn’t in the mood to be the chess piece in whatever fucked up game they were playing.

“Touch me, Kuruk, and you’ll wake up without a dick.”

Mr. Tall, dark, and asshole snorts, but his eyes widen ever so slightly as Kuruk actually takes his arm away from her without complaint. She smirks a little, thinking back to the time when Kuruk thought she was only joking. He had figured out pretty quickly that Rey would follow through on her threats when he woke up with a knife hovering over his junk. It was clear to them after that that no one touched her without her permission. After a while, they just straight up accepted it. No one touches Rey. Kuruk was the only one to ever press that boundary.

Rey picks up her bong and goes back to practicing smoke rings. She’s been working on her triple ring trick for a while but can’t seem to get the timing down. It’s relaxing. She could focus all her energy on just that and let the rest of the world drift away for a while.

AP finished rolling his joints and packed her bong again before picking up his bag and taking off without a word. He’d be back in a few hours and about 500$ richer. Split between the six of them with the majority going to Kylo and AP, she’d maybe get twenty bucks out of it. Still twenty bucks was twenty bucks. Maybe she’d actually buy her slushie next time.

Her neck burned as if someone was watching her. Sure enough when she looked over Kylo’s eyes were unabashedly fixed on her and ignoring Kuruk’s pointed glares. Rey stared back at him, her eyes slowly caressing over his cheekbones and strong jaw. She found constellations in his freckles. He leaned back in his chair letting her observe him, a faint cocky smile ghosting his lips. She wondered for a minute if she should feel embarrassed for ogling him like this, but she couldn’t. Not when she felt so light and free. Not when nothing mattered. Not really. This must be what death felt like.

She wondered what he’d taste like. What his moans sounded like. If his touch would feel like fire against her skin. He looked at her as if he knew exactly what she was thinking and was wondering the same thing.

But why?

Why... when you’re nothing. When you’re no one. When you’re far too skinny and you have no tits and half-healed bruises on your ribs. When even the gentlest touch makes you want to puke. You’re nothing but a quick lay. Something to use and discard.

Rey frowned and quickly locked her emotions down in the darkest parts of her. Kylo frowned, too. His eyes flitted away from her but never strayed far.

Learning how to swim but the lands are dry Feeling like a shark, If I stop I'll die Things are lit and the blood's on fire Underneath the buzz of the telephone wire

All my friends are doing fine While I'm looking for a sign Is this body even mine? Feels good to be alive but I hate my life

So tied up and tired of this self-inflicted fight In spite of, I light up, to leave my demons inside Tell myself I'm fine while I'm looking for a sign Is this body even mine? Feels good to be alive but I hate my life

- Good to Be Alive, PVRIS

#reylo fanfic #reylo #kylo x rey #rey x ben #ben solo x rey #reylo ao3 #reylo fanfiction

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