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belle-keys · 3 years

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I Love Matthew Fairchild aka Incoherent Thoughts about Chain of Iron (2021) by Cassandra Clare

I made one of these rant-rave reviews for SJM's book so check it out if you want, no pressure tho lmao.

Aight so I finished Chain of Iron last night and OMG I HAVE TO YELL like I loved it sooo much like yooo, I have a lot to say. I know the book is new so... beware for spoilers plebs.

Also context: I been reading the Shadowhunter books since I was 12 and I'm 19 now *insert dead emoji face* so yeah, I'm just so happy rn with where the Chronicles have come and the fact that they’re still ongoing *insert uwu face*. I remember when in like 2014-2015 or something when Cassandra Clare teased that Will and Tessa's kids' generation was gonna get a trilogy set in Edwardian London, loosely based on Great Expectations, and holy hell? I think that was perhaps one of the best days of my life considering how much I adore The Infernal Devices (that trilogy really changed the way I see YA literature... don't ask cus I won't shut up about it) (also yes I read TMI and loved it too but there's a “generation gap” between TMI and the other Shadowhunter books stylistically so don't ask me about that either cus I also won't shut up).

Anyway, shoo from here if you want a critical essay on Chain of Iron. I'm not providing that, this is just me raving here for the fun.

Listen... I want the bulk of this to just be two main things: The Matthew Situation, and then all the literary and judeo-christian meta aspects of it.

BUT I ALSO NEED TO TALK ABOUT EVERYTHING ELSE SO FRICK LET'S JUST START WITH THE OBVIOUS SHIT LIKE THE PLOT AND WHATEVER

Okay, the plot and writing and shit, let's get that out of the way:

The WHOLE Jack-the-Ripper-esque ambiance was just sooooo good man wow like I did not expect the book to take this cold turn but it worked so well. There was such a contrast between Jamie and Cordelia's warm little house and then the cold winter and the stabbings and shit and it felt like a nice little callback to the actual Ripper phenomenon that preceded them and a nod to the Whitechapel Fiend story from Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy.

Bitch OFC that whole thing with Wayland was a set-up like nawww that was too easy to spot and I get why Cordelia feels like shit about it.

Dawg Lucie was just the Among Us imposter here in that my girl was just venting and sneaking around with dead people and I was like nooooo girl run, don't deal with Fade this is a set-up THINK ABOUT JULES LUCIE THAT'S LIKE YO GREAT-GRANDSON *sobs* but yeah anyway my girl has death powers she gonna kill some bitches next book.

You see that confrontation between Lilith and Belial? MASTERPIECE DIALOGUE like this was the point within which I was just like "yo is this the book of Genesis or a YA Fantasy novel" like when Lilith said "I may have been cast out but I did not fall" like??????????????????? I YELLED she did not have to END Belial like that. What a bad bitch.

More on Lilith and Belial... "You, who brought nations into darkness? Shall I finally be able to tell the infernal realms you have gone mad, lost even the image of the Creator." HAHAHHAHAHA SHE SAID "YO BELIAL GO GET SOME THERAPY AND GET OFF MY ASS" LIKE??????

Ughhhh yasss Clare has improved writing diverse characters in this book compared to in The Dark Artifices in my opinion... I'm not gonna expand on it cus ain't nobody got time for that but like, I enjoyed how she wove Persian poetry and tales into the story and the way in which she writes Cordelia and Alistair. They're not caricatures of Persian people but rather multi-faceted beings who also happen to be Persian and I appreciate that. Also, Alistair and Thomas and Anna and Ariadne were just so fun and interesting to read as coupbles but also as individuals. She really higlighted diversity in a very natural manner. All I need is a hijabi character and I’ll die a happy woman lmao.

The level of META man like the references to Classics and art (I swear, she might have compared Matthew to angels out of Caravaggio AND Rosetti AND Boticelli paintings and I Am Living For It) and just all the quotes from holy books and shit omg I love it here like you really feel catapulted into the time period, she draws reference to external art and philosophy so well and I feel like she upped the notch on it in this book (didn’t know that was possible but it was the prose is BEAUTIFUL, archaic, but not pretentiously so). No, like the characters live in their OWN worlds of literature and art and history in the way we are living in THEIRS. They quote Wilde and Milton while we'll quote Clare. It's awesome.

This is an unusually structuralist take even from me but: I like the way the milieu social of the book, i.e., the high society Edwardian circles and their values, have a direct influence on the plot. James and Cordelia got married because society’s values essentially forced them to, not a demon. Cordelia abandons Jamie at the end of Iron because her shame as a woman in society and fear for her reputation made her, not a demon. Thomas and Alistair can't be together solely because of how Alistair tarnished the reputation of the Fairchilds and Lightwoods by using the horror of infidelity against them. Issues relating to marriage, gender roles, etc, stemming DIRECTLY from the time period rule the sequence of events to the same degree as the epic fantasy aspects (demons, Princes of Hell, the lore itself) do and I LOVE that dear God above.

OKAY THE GOOD SHIT LET US TALK ABOUT CHARACTERS AND SHIPS (N.B. but imma discuss Matthew and the Fairstairs situation separately below this portion):

Alistair's redemption arc: No, cus Alistair's redemption arc is honestly amazing. He really did change and it's not like his betterment as a person was linked to any one heroic deed but rather he simply decided he wanted to be better especially for his family and he decided to become a proper protective son, a caring brother, and an amiable friend. He fully owned up to his Malfoy tendencies and apologized without expecting forgiveness. He shows how he cares in the little ways and omg it's so sweet and tender. I really do want him to love himself now and be embraced by Matthew especially and the rest of the Thieves.

Dawg Lucie and Jesse are so funny to me like it's so hilarious how this girl fell in love with a whole ass ghost that no one else knows about like HHAHA. Are Lucie and Jesse my ult ship ever? Nah, but it's nothing to do with Clare, it's just that their relationship happened pretty quick and feels quite like something epicly romantic that Lucie herself would write. I just like slow burn and friends-to-lovers the most from Clare. To be honest part of me just wanted Lucie to not have a romantic arc all together but like, it's all good, I'm not complaining.

Okay Grace- like yooooooooooo I never hated her yunno. She has been abused and isolated all her life. It's not that she is a bad person, but rather that she does not know what being a person even entails. Can't even say she's a “doll” of a person cus she's never even been pampered like one by her family. I really started understanding her motivations since when they gave us her half-childhood with Jesse. I want better for her but cmon can she REALLY be saved???

GRACE X CHRISTOPHER *pretends to be shocked*... Okay, sometime in the middle of the Dark Artifices series some big brain put together a very thorough family tree of the families and like, it clearly showed that Grace and Christopher got married so like, lmfaooooo, I knew this was coming one way or another, but the journey to this ship is more important than the destination. Like in a way Christopher is such a cute baby lamb that it makes sense he'd end up being immune to her Grace-ness when he's just a cute little Einstein boiii. Like this is just so funny to me cus he's so oblivious to social conventions while she makes the milieu social her entire life so OFC it's gonna work. Like, this is such a worlds-colliding trope like just Give It To Me.

James and Grace - aw mannn Jamie just had me fricking wanting to hit a wall every two seconds cus like yooooooo every single time I think he and Cordelia are gonna stop being emotionally-constipated spouses, Jamie says some kinda shit like "omg me and Daisy are just friends uwu" like DO I NEED TO HIT YOU?????????? See I can't blame him for not slamming the door on Grace's face even tho he totes should- Jamie is so cerebral and kind that even if Grace wasn't using the enchantment on him, I think he would always be soft for her even if it isn't in a romantic way. There's just so much miscommunication cus like he said "Thank God" when she broke off the engagement with Charles and lowkey embraced her but it also wasn't his fault cus it wasn't even romantic BUT OFC IT LOOKED HORRIBLE TO CORDELIA like James literally never told the woman at least once that he loved her so OFC she thought she was back to square one with him dear God above what a mess. Not his fault, but she DID set down one rule for him: don’t cheat with Grace. And yeah even tho he hasn’t properly cheated, it must FEEL horrible to her cus she’s just been enduring the pain of their unrequeted love for so long :((

See imma just say it but if Cordelia thought that James didn't love Grace then she def would have confessed to him about her feelings right but like James, on the other hand, was delaying his own romantic confession cus he was BEING EMOTIONALLY CONSTIPATED and I can't even say the bracelet was solely to blame cus like my boi was just being so difficult omg I believe he should be lightly spanked by his three parents aka Will, Tessa and Jem *cries*.

Cordelia is such a MOM like she's so mature and stable and her self-preservation instinct? OFF THE CHARTS I love this woman like James definitely treated her well as a hubby but like I JUST WANTED HER TO HAVE CLOSURE ABOUT SOMETHING and boy oh boy she did get that closure she got it good but not from the person she expected in the LEAST *hehe* *pelican screeching*... like Lucie was being sus with the whole ghost business and James was being just, quite a case, dealing with Grace and Belial right and I don't blame them at all for their secrecy and shit but her FATHER DIED and her friends were hiding a lot from her so in a way she turned to Alistair for help but he could only do so much cus of his own pain (she couldn't even talk to her mom cus she's pregnant and she doesn't wanna stress her right) and then there was this emotional block between her and Jamie, Lucie was often absent and conspiring with the dead... the last person remaining was HIM (imma discuss this soon), but yeah my heart just went OUT to her cus she's tryna save herself and her family and she just doesn't know what to do. That's why I love the way her mom told her to stop holding herself back for others and live her own life. Like Cordelia grew on me so much cus in Gold she undoubtedly was a strange Elizabeth Bennet-wallflower hybrid and I... do not usually get attached to wallflowers but in Iron I feel like I finally understood that she was just tryna be unproblematic and self-preserving all along and nottt put her family and friends in a tough situation.... she reminds me of my mom personality-wise so yeah I’m totally rooting for her now that her *situation* in the past seems clearer.

Anna, Thomas and Matthew are such a SQUAD lmfaooooo like united in their gayness they'd be so unstoppable.

Will and Tessa are the most in-love of all the in-loves in this story and I respect that so much.

I lost a year to my life every time the romance between James and Cordelia got cockblocked. Like they were MARRIED and I thought they were gonna at least sleep next to each other at least once BUT NO James couldn't take a hint omg I'm actually gonna eat my fist and sob (but in retrospect, I think this serves a bigger purpose in terms of the narrative structure i.e. the interruption of all the spicy James and Cordelia action serves a bigger purpose which I think brings me to my next section, *exhale*)

Welcome to the Matthew Fairchild Enthusiast Club (this section is me talking out loud; it makes no sense):

bitch.

LISTEN TO ME LISTEN WELL I LOVE THIS BOY SO MUCH IMMA SCREAM I REALLY AM GONNA SCREAM MY FIST IS LITERALLY IN MY MOUTH *BACKFLIPS OFF THE ROOF WITH LANA DEL REY PLAYING*

Okay like where to BEGIN I think the Shadowhunter boy who I'm most attracted to is Julian while the one I love the most is Will but I think I see myself in Matthew the most. Like ever since that first story where the Thieves all met at the Academy then got expelled, I think that I just KNEW Matthew was destined to be epic. Plus the whole Wilde obsession? I’m no libertine myself but I just love his chaos and passion for life.

NO CUS HE'S SO WITTY AND SWEET AND EPIC AND YET SO SECRETIVE AND DEAR GOD ABOVE AHHHHH WILL HE SURPASS JULIAN FOR ME??? Ion even know but this is just sodjsgdwsdygyegydgef

Hear me out but I said after finishing Gold last March that I wanted this book to be Matthew's healing arc right so halfway into the book when I realized that we weren't getting all that good healing arcing I was confused just cus I thought it seemed natural to address all of his alcohol issues and sadness by now. LITTLE DID I KNOW CASSIE WAS SETTING UP A WHOLE OTHER ARC WITH HIM THAT I WOULD HAVE NEVER GUESSED WTH.

At first I thought Matthew didn't have feelings for anyone at all, and if he DID develop feelings unexpectedly, I fricking thought that maybe he's catching feelings for James, if anyone??? I mean, I did have some suspicions about Matthew from the get-go: like he's so secretive and as readers we think we know everything there is to know about him since we were all privy to the truth potion incident in his short story right BUT NO I GOT PLAYED AND I DESERVE IT SO BADDDDDD.

Listen I hadn't shipped him and Cordelia simply because I never thought it in the realm of possibility but it MAKES SENSE as a ship... think about it: he never says what he feels, he flirts with her like he does with EVERYONE, he is kind to her in the way he is with EVERYONE. Really, Matthew is shippable with everyone, doesn’t matter if they’re taken cus that’s just what his Matthewnes allows for ya feel. There is such a beautiful irony that CORDELIA herself did not see this coming. Even the little teasers and hints in Gold have only NOW started making sense to me likejhss. I just felt like the hints in book 1 did not indicate to me that Matthew really harbored real romantic feelings for Daisy. I thought he was upset that James and Cordelia were being fakes, not a developing CRUSH on the woman fgs.

Not to mention that you usually sense a ship building when the emotional connection or sexual tension between the characters is made clearer but to me their FRIENDSHIP grew right but it didn’t feel like Cordelia was thought that she liked him or he liked her so that means me and Cordelia are clowns *together* 😤

Okay I was lowkey having SUSPICIONS but I immediately shut them down right... like firstly when he took her to the White Horse in his car and she went OFF and OFF and off about how she felt free for the first time? I thought Cassie was just tryna develop Cordelia's self-liberation arc through Matthew there. Heck, I didn't even think ANYTHING of it when Matthew confession to Cordelia about the "truth potion" incident at all cus I was like they're FRIENDS??? BUT now it's adding up now...

See when they were at the inn place and he was telling her that she doesn't in the least seem like a 100 year-old married woman? I was like hmmmm he's so sweet but why did Cassie phrase it like that like??? When Cordelia later reiterated that she thought Matthew's flirting was “meaningless”?? I was like hmmm kinda SUS tho. And then when he and James had their fight over the way Jamie kissed Grace like again I thought he was just like? ion know? mad at James for it but I didn't think he was in LOVE with Cordelia??? So I immediately put aside my slight suspicions. The probability that he had a crush on James at that point seemed more likely to me.

BUT THEN it started hitting me that every time Matthew drank, even before he explained his issue with the truth potion, that Cordelia would note it, she would worry about him, she would think of her father which seemed so poetic to me, history repeating itself and all that but this time you can FIX it??? Yeah, but again I didn't think the L WORD would be involved man???

Now imma sound like a delulu shipper here but it just makes sense they would develop feelings logically- reason being that it definitely is possible based on the way Cassie set up the story, like there's a combination of little “friend things” that can turn this into a proper ship: Matthew rescues Cordelia in the ballroom when Grace captures James' attention in Gold. Cordelia sees her father in Matthew all the time but knows now she has a chance to be there for him in the way she couldn't have been there for Elias (classic “history repeats itself” trope, she doesn't want Matthew drinking in Paris like dhshghdfhdhch). Cordelia tastes freedom for the first time when driving with Matthew. Matthew caught James and Cordelia making out in the room and was pissed but not even HE properly knew why then??? Umm, when she thinks James is forreal cheating with Grace on her she subconsciously goes to Matthew??? I also found it funny just how every intimate marital moment between her and James got interrupted somehow. Like, it's as if the narrative is just a living force REFUSING to let James and Cordelia as a ship be consecrated. Heck, every time Matthew is scantily clothed Cordelia notes it. LITTLE CRUMBS I TELL YOU LITTLE CRUMBS.

I tell you when Cordelia showed up to Matthew's flat I thought they were gonna f*ck as friends but I got SOMETHING EVEN BETTER SOMEHOW

THEY ARE GOING TO PARIS LA BELLE EPOQUE PARIS THE PARIS OF DREAMS AND ART LIKE??? FRICKKKKK I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AT ALLLL MAN? I deadass thought the story would be restrained to the UK but like it MAKES SENSE the trope subversion MAKES SENSE.

“In Paris, with you, I will not need to forget.” SHITTRGEGGGDG

BUT CORDELIA LOVES JAMES TOO LIKE I CAN'T DENY THAT... where are we GOING with this like Matthew wouldn't lie about his feelings and yet Cassie wouldn't give us Matthew and Cordelia crumbs to only end it in the next book immediately for her to just ditch him for James. I mean she was clearly holding back on fleshing out James and Cordelia as a ship for this but to WHAT END??? Daisy feels wild and free with Matthew and she feels warm at home warm with James. I can’t advocate for the sinking of ANY ship here.

Imma say what we're all thinking: Is she gonna give us a Will x Jem x Tessa type situation where Cordelia gets both of them cus I'm not strong enough for this but I also think it'd be really funny if James gets a surprise bi awakening in the next books and then we get POLY even tho this would never happen, it’s actually impossible, because of the whole parabatai thing.

Listen I ship Cordelia and Matthew much more than Cordelia and James, not that I dislike James in any way tho. It's just: Matthew is so unrestrained and she's so composed. They seem like an unlikely pair so it makes sense that they hit harder for me. James and Cordelia have such similar personalities but I ALSO don't ship James with Grace at all so like?? Poly would be... ideal... but it can’t happen especially cus they are fricking parabatai... a Will-Jem-Tessa situation seems more likely but mannnn ion know what to expect. I just want FAIRSTAIRS to have their moment in Paris. I mean James and Matthew clearly don't abhor each other for this.

Take everything I say with several grains of salt, take everything I say with the whole Dead Sea actually, cus I damn well know that Matthew is so flirty and whatnot that I’d have shipped him with anyone in their little circle but now that she set him up with Cordelia it all feels so right?? I have wanted this man in a good relationship since he walked onto the page in Nothing But Shadows so-

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I can't believe Cassia duped me like this omg, Matthew is gonna have his healing arc in Paris with Cordelia by his side like- THIS IS ALL I HAVE WANTED AND SO MUCH MORE. Question to yall btw: are you all as surpised at Fairstairs as me or did yall see it coming all along like smart people? Am I a lone clown? 🥺

BRUH okay criticisms of CC?:

Lmfao a part of me feels like I GOTTA say something bad about CC or the book but honestly I have no objective complaints about it as of now. Am I saying that it’s the PEAK of Young Adult literature and Urban Fantasy? I mean, I make no such claims tbh. I’m not here to be critical when I read as a hobby and when CC’s writing makes me happy regardless of how flawed some people see it.

Okay what next?

So like I’m excited for the adult high fantasy she’s releasing in the fall and whatever other works she might be releasing outside of Chain of Gold within the Chronicles.

As for TLH itself? Man I’m just VIBING like I suspect I will reread Chain of Iron soon and maybe one of the anthologies just because I am happy that this series actually happened after me waiting like 6 years for it when it was just a concept: a Dickensian retelling filled with poetry and culture and history and the conventions I so loved in TID at age 12. This is all I been wanting tbh. I’m just enjoying watching this series come to fruition for it to inspire and transform me in some way. I feel like in a way my coming-of-age aligns with that of these specific characters yet I ALSO feel like I raised Jamie since infancy. Wack.

MATTHEW AND CORDELIA IN FRANCE LA BELLE EPOQUE TO BE EXACT IMMA CRY I DID NOT SEE THIS COMING AND AHHHHHH. ALSO WILL AND JAMIE GOING TO CORNWALL TO GET LUCIE AND MAYBE BOND I LOVE WILL. HE WAS ONE OF MY DILF AWAKENINGS AT AGE 12 AND NOW HE’S HERE AGAIN IMMA CRY. I WANNA SEE MATTHEW GET HAPPY. AHHH.

Ending with a fun quote: “In the wise words of someone or other, there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy, Maurice.” 😉

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well-shit-im-a-morosexual-now · 3 years

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I don't have much to say about the rest of the S3 lessons, but I do have things to say about S4 of Obey Me.

Personally, I think that S4 should focus primarily on the angels (Simeon, Luke, Michael, Raphael, etc.), feature the side characters (Solomon, Barbatos, Diavolo), possibly introduce Solomon's first apprentice and maybe in Hard Mode you can check up on the brothers (you should know who the HOL brothers are).

I have a few reasons for this (in no real order :):

Reading the lesson summaries that you (and others) have provided, it seems like Mike and Raph- along with the Celestial Realm- will be important this season. So, wouldn't be a waste not to show them off?

The side characters need development. This is a perfect opportunity for some.

Simeon and Luke were standing for a longer period than the brothers, so it would make sense for them to show up again.

Simeon was talking to some angel (probably Raphael) at the end of S3. The game should obviously expand on that.

*Diavolo runs a hotel chain in the Human World, so it would make sense to see him again. And because Barbatos follows right behind him...

Solomon's first apprentice needs to be explored. What happened between them?

*The brothers should take a back seat in this season, since they're always there. No offense to them, but I need a break.

New character interactions is would be fun. To me, the best character interaction would be between Dia & Mike. Would they hate each other because of Lucifer? Would they get along? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

It could show off/expand upon the Celestial Realm, a chance for more lore and theories.

It could finally give insight into Simeon's past- which is always a good thing. (Same for everyone else.)

Now that the list is out of the way, here are some miscellaneous things that I couldn't fit on the list (also an clarification for 5 & 7. They explanations will also have an asterix at the beginning of them:):

*I don't expect Diavolo and Barbatos to show up that often, but I think that they should appear in at least 1-2 chapters.

*I also don't mind the brothers showing up, but I am worried that if they appear prominently, they might over take the season.

I kinda want the Lillith plotline/point to come back. I definitely wish it was executed better, but I do want to see the reaction from the angels (Mike and Raph basically).

I hope Solomon's apprentice was a girl. There's just too many guys here, we need a little diversity.

I would hate it if they didn't give us character designs for Michael and Raphael, though I would find it funny.

Well, I think I'm done for now. Do you agree, disagree? Do you like the color coding, should I keep doing it? Basically, I just want your thoughts on this.

Goodbye for now,

Lesson 42 Anon

Hii!!! I basically agree with everything you just said but I'll go into more detail on it with your points:

- I do 100% believe S4 should be a new character/angel focused season. I think I said so in the lesson 60 summary too that it'd make sense and be interesting to meet the angels and get their side of the story without the brothers' interference (the angels give me HEAVY morally grey characters who think they're wholly in the right vibes and I love it) + there's still a lot of Simeon and Solomon backstory to explore!

- The way S3 ended and how much of it was anyway about the angels I definitely think S4 will expand on it and introduce them

- And I think it'll possibly start right after S3 ends? I mean Raphael's here now and Solomon wants to start properly training MC so why not. And there's no other reason to leave Simeon and Luke behind than to start it up with them in the centre

- ALSO!!! ANDISJSHSKS "RAPH" given what they've showed of him he seems like the type of person to take HEAVY offense to that

- S3 did end with Raphael. Simeon called him by name.

- As much as I do want to see more Diavolo and find out more about his and more importantly Barbatos' backstories I don't think they'll turn up much? Or at least not until the last few lessons cause he left saying he had important personal issues to take care of back in the devildom

- I genuinely thought they would be shown in S3 after Solomon mentioned them and yeah damn I wanna know more about them. Also I just saw the Solomon UR+ animation card from months ago today - I definitely want to know whose grave he was leaving flowers at

- As much as I want an angel focused season the amount of withdrawal I'd go through without the brothers is insane. I'm heavily invested in them but at least for now their arcs are at a place that can be paused - they all got together to help Beel, a lot of Satan & Lucifer's + Belphie & Diavolo's issues have been resolved. I do want to know more about Lucifer's fear though and how he met the rest of the brothers (since they already told us Beel's story)

- With what they've said I kinda see Michael & Raphael being parallels to Diavolo & Lucifer, respectively. The somewhat childish boss and the long suffering right hand. I can see Diavolo wanting to like Michael purely because he wants to make proper peace with the Celestial Realm but also being somewhat internally pissed with him given how protective Diavolo is of the brothers and I can see Michael being sweet and friendly in return despite the fact that given everything Michael has said about demons, even in current times, he would probably be looking down on Diavolo for being 'wicked' and 'evil'. Basically I imagine them having the same kinda passive-aggressively polite relationship that Diavolo and Simeon had in S2 but somehow even less friendly

- Yes!!! Like I said the Celestial Realm gives heavy morally grey vibes and I want that to be explored more. I also need Luke's realisation that the Celestial Realm isn't always right to continue

- I have SO many Lilith HCs and I desperately need them to talk about her more. Like I understand why she's a sore topic and that Lucifer never even told them about her room in the HoL depite the fact that they've probably lived there for thousands of years and she does get brought up a bit in Belphie's fear but I need more. I also want them to explore why Belphie was so insistent with blaming the humans for Lilith's death when it was the angels that killed her, I gave my theories behind it in one of the summaries but I really need more solid answers

- I've always wanted more girls (or any girls really) and the way I was disappointed that we never got to see Lilith (I mean I understand that some players would HC her to look like their MC even though she died thousands of years before MC and they probably wouldn't share a resemblance but still) but I never considered Solomon's apprentice was a girl and I dunno why.. OKAY BUT CONSIDER GIRLS AS NEW LIS!!!!!

- I definitely think they would, it would make no sense if they didn't after how much they were hyped up and I might actually scream if they don't get designs. That being said I have very clear ideas of them in my head and I'm gonna hate having to part with them

DO NOT GET RID OF THE COLOUR CODING! IT'S PART OF YOUR IDENTITY NOW! OWN IT!

#obey me #q #obey me shall we date #obey me!#shall we date? obey me!#swd obey me #obey me spoilers #asks #answers

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elleberquist6 · 5 years

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Title: Waking Dreams Author: elleberquist6 Artist: niennaerso Beta: phandomhaven Word Count: 8,012 Rating: explicit Warnings: mild smut, consensual somnophilia Summary: To the casual observer, Dan Howell is a normal human man, but he has a secret. He shared this fact -- that he is an incubus -- years ago with his boyfriend Phil. But due to Dan's shyness about his identity and Phil's over-eagerness to seem accepting they didn't discuss it in detail at the time. All of that changes on a day when Dan notices that Phil is reading a book about the mythological sex demons in an effort to better under Dan. It's time for Dan to talk and finally share something about himself. Maybe he will find something out about Phil at the same time. Author Notes: Written for Phandom Big Bang 2019! My thanks to them for the deadline I needed to pressure myself to start writing again. Also, big thanks to Phandom Haven (@phandomhaven on tumblr) for beta-ing this fic :) And thank you so much to Mari (@niennaerso on tumblr) for putting together and performing the wonderful song to accompany this fic. Listen here: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mVkrzT9hOqUAmaOiWIN6-Oc2Pd4lcMoG/view?usp=sharing

Imagine you suddenly awake at night. You feel a sense of panic when you realize that you cannot move. The fear increases when you sense another presence in the room with you. You gasp for breath, but feel the being getting closer and closer. As your chest tightens you struggle to move and try desperately to cry out for help. But there is nothing you can do, the terrifying creature begins to crush you…

Known by many names around the world and over time, diverse cultures have spoken of vampire-like demons that feed off of human energy and attack their victims at night. Two of the popular names in English for such entities are Incubus and Succubus (plural Incubi and Succubi) – demons which attack their victims by pressing down on them… Incubus is said to be the male form of the demon. The name of this demon comes from late Latin “Incubo” meaning “nightmare” which has its origins in the Latin word ‘incubare’, to “lie on”. [https://www.ancient-origins.net/myths-legends/incubi-and-succubi-crushing-nightmares-and-sex-craving-demons-part-i-006157]

Something was wrong with this picture. It took Dan a while to realize this, since he had spent most of the day lost in his own thoughts while scrolling aimlessly on his laptop, but he could sense the wrongness like an itch in the back of his mind. He glanced around the room, but nothing looked out of place. The afternoon light was glazing the living room, streaming through the wall of windows beside him. Everything looked as it should. In case he had forgotten something he was supposed to do, Dan checked his email on his laptop, but there were no important messages he had neglected to respond to, and no forgotten appointments on his calendar. The wrong thing wasn’t there. Dan looked up at the room again, and this time his gaze lingered on the person on the sofa beside him – Phil. And there was the wrong thing, resting in Phil’s lap. His eyes had passed over it during hours that they had been sitting here, and it must have registered as out of place. Now, he couldn’t see anything else.

After about a minute, Phil noticed Dan staring and blinked owlishly at him from behind his black-framed glasses. In a mock-salesperson voice, he asked, “Can I help you, good sir?”

Dan snorted in response, and asked, “What’s with the book?”

“Oh?” Phil glanced at his lap, like he was seeing the thick tome for the first time, despite the fact that he had been reading it for the past few hours. “Oh, that. It’s just something I picked up at the library.”

“What were you doing at the library?” Dan bit his lip, hoping he hadn’t sounded too harsh, but it was the truth. He hadn’t seen Phil pick up a book like that since college – perhaps getting Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees had scared him off reading. However, Dan had always suspected there was another reason.

When it came of entertainment, Phil was a film connoisseur who watched and enjoyed movies with a practiced eye. He didn’t read the books that movies were based on, so he could avoid spoilers when watching them later. And after seeing the movie, he didn’t care to read the book because he would always enjoy the movie more. It’s just how he was, and that didn’t mean that he wasn’t brilliant. His brilliance was just specialized to a different kind of media.

And knowing all this, Dan couldn’t fathom why there was a book on Phil’s lap. He was much more used to seeing a MacBook there instead. Phil smirked, seeming to understand the expression on Dan’s face, and lightly punched his arm. “Hey! I can read, especially when I’m curious to know something.”

Dan peered dubiously at the book in Phil’s lap, though he couldn’t make out the details of the fine print at this distance. “Curious? What could you be curious about that you couldn’t find on the internet?” “Surprisingly, a lot. When I Google ‘incubus’, a whole bunch of stuff about a rock band comes up. I very much doubt that when you told me you were an incubus, you meant that you had a secret life as a rockstar. Although you always were suspiciously good at playing Rockband…” Dan just gaped at him for a second before saying, “What the fuck?”

“Am I saying that right?” Phil gaze dropped to the book in his lap. “Incubus… In-cu-bus! Yeah, I had it right the first time.”

That made Dan snort. “Come on Phil, we both know you said that word just fine. And I all wanted to know was why you said it. We both know what I am. We discussed this years ago. So, why bring it up again now?”

Sighing, Phil closed the book before looking at Dan with a frown. “Yeah, we had this talk a long time ago, but it didn’t help me to understand. At the time, you were so nervous, like you thought I’d reject you for it.”

“No shit, I was nervous,” Dan muttered under his breath.

Ignoring that, Phil continued, “And I could see that, which made me eager to just reassure you that it didn’t make a difference. You are just Dan to me, and it doesn’t matter if you’re human or not.” He held Dan’s gaze for a moment, seeming to read his mood. “Dan, you’re still you to me, but after all this time, I can’t help feeling that my original approach to this thing was naïve.”

Dan swallowed heavily. “So, um, you’re rethinking your earlier stance on this? On if it matters that I’m an incubus?”

“Of course it matters,” Phil said with a reassuring smile. “You’ll always be my Dan to me, but that doesn’t mean what you are doesn’t matter. This is a part of you, and I want to know about it and understand all the parts of you.”

“You do?” During this whole conversation, Dan’s heart felt like it was being squeezed tight in his chest, but at Phil’s last words, the tightness eased and his heart fluttered free.

“Of course I do. I love you.” Phil glanced down shyly at the book in his lap and stroked the cover. “So, that’s why I’ve been reading about incubuses. I don’t want to pick and choose the parts of you that I accept and love. I want to love all of you, including this.”

“Can I see it for a minute?” Dan asked, extending a hand. When Phil gave him the book, he flipped through it for a few minutes. As he skimmed quickly, he nodded at the parts that were accurate, and frowned at the parts that were wrong about incubi. He had to admit that he was nodding more often than he was frowning, but still… this wasn’t how he wanted Phil to learn about him. Finding his resolve, Dan put the book on the coffee table and turned to Phil. “Hey, I’d like to tell you all about it. I want to share this side of me with you.”

Phil nodded encouragingly, his bright blue eyes on Dan’s face.

Dan chuckled nervously. “Um, I’m not sure where to start. It’s a big subject, and I don’t know what you’ve already learned… Oh! There was one thing. You said ‘incubuses.’ That makes us sound like a bunch of mass transit vehicles. The correct term for multiple incubus is incubi.”

“Got it. If there were two of you, I’d call you incubi.”

Dan rubbed his temple. “Yeah, I guess that bit of info isn’t that helpful, since you’ve only got one incubus in your life to worry about…”

Phil shook his head and smiled.

“What?” Dan demanded, feeling his shoulders tense.

“There’s only one incubus who I want to worry about,” Phil said, and a thoughtful little crease appeared between his eyebrows. Then he slapped his thigh in a business-like gesture. “Right, so, let’s start over. I think I should tell you what I understand about what you are so far, you can correct me on anything wrong, and then fill in the gaps. Sound good?” Dan’s shoulders relaxed, and that shouldn’t have surprised him. Phil always had a way of calming him down when he was tense. In that moment when he needed calm more than anything, he felt a rush of gratitude for Phil. He could get through this. Dan took a deep breath and said, “Okay, sounds good. Sounds really good, I think that’s a great plan. Um, so, tell me what you know. I’m sure the book described what I am as some kind of sex-crazed demon…”

“Not exactly,” Phil was quick to insist. “The book I read was quick to point out that while sex is a part of it, to simply call incubus and succubus ‘sex demons’ is a big over-generalization. There’s so much more lore and detail behind the myths of these demons that is overlooked when the focus is just on the sex.”

Dan smiled since he could tell Phil was tense – probably nervous of offending him – and Dan hoped that he could return the favor and make Phil a little calmer, too. He said, “It’s okay, you don’t have to sugar coat the definition for me. I won’t get offended by the truth. I know the general view is that incubi are seductive demons who come to people while they’re sleeping to give them nightmares, suffocate them, or drain them dry of life energy through sex. If we’re going to talk about this, you can say that. It won’t hurt me to hear.”

“I wasn’t worried about hurting you by saying that.” Phil glared at the book on the table. “Yes, all that is in the book, but I didn’t say it because it makes me angry. I’ve lived with you for a long time. I know you, and you aren’t like that. You’ve never done any of that stuff. It’s… it’s like slander! It feels so wrong to read these lies about you.” Dan chuckled and shook his head. “It’s okay, I came to terms with that a long time ago. It’s just another misunderstanding in the media. Seeing a slutty succubus in a video game seducing someone feels no more offensive to me than a tv show portraying Brits who eat scones and say ‘pip pip, cheerio’. It doesn’t matter to me if the media misunderstands what I am. It would only hurt me if someone I’m close to did.”

“Okay then.” Phil smiled. “Then let’s make sure I’m clear on what you are. You are a sex demon. I know that doesn’t rule who you are, but I imagine it must come with some urges… Am I right? Are there impulses that come with this condition?”

Dan leaned back against the sofa pondering the question. He hadn’t been expecting Phil to ask that… In a moment of insecurity, he pasted a cocky grin on his face and winked, saying, “Well, it’s not as if I don’t have a well-fed sex drive.”

“Well, yeah.” Phil laughed, shook his head, and said, “But besides that though, I was wondering if it’s alright. Like, is it enough?”

Dan blinked. “Are you serious? Phil, it’s perfect.”

“It is for me, too.” Phil said with a smile. “But yes, I am serious. And I want you to be honest. Since I know now how important sex is to your kind, I want you to tell me if there’s anything you need. You can be open about this with me, I hope you know.”

Dan looked down at where his hand was lying on the sofa cushion between them. His fingers twitched slightly, flexing involuntarily closer to Phil. He whispered, “I know.”

“Hey, talk to me?” Phil’s voice sounded a little closer.

When Dan looked up, he saw that Phil had leaned nearer to him, and his eyebrows were creased with concern. Dan cleared his throat and asked, “Um, what is it you want me to say?”

“Come on.” Phil nudged Dan’s shoulder gently. “Tell me? I can see that something is on your mind.”

“The, um, bedroom subject…” Dan’s cheeks flushed and he swallowed heavily. “There is something. But it’s nothing I ever want to ask of you! So, please don’t worry about it.”

“What if I want to worry about it? Because I know it’s something that matters to you and I love you.” Phil glanced at the book on the coffee table for a long moment. “And what if this thing isn’t as unthinkable as you imagine it is? Although that’s assuming that my guess is correct.”

Dan exhaled sharply, which drew Phil’s eyes back to his face. He asked, “You have a guess about what I want?”

He nodded and held Dan with a steady gaze. “When I was reading, I couldn’t help noticing that there are a lot of the stories about incubi coming across sleeping humans, and umm…”

Dan raised his eyebrows and parroted, “Um?” “Well,” Phil started talking very quickly, and he looked down at his legs and started picking at a stray thread on his black jeans. “In some of the stories, the incubus or succubus who comes across a sleeping human will sit on the human’s chest and suffocate them. I had hoped you wouldn’t want to do that to me. I hoped it was the other thing.” Dan’s mouth felt very dry. He didn’t try to say anything, just waited.

Phil finally looked up from the thread, which he had failed to pull loose. He asked, “Do you like to have sex with people while they’re asleep? Consensually of course.”

Once more, Dan was surprised. He had been prepared for the question of if he wanted to have sex with unconscious people, a thought that disgusted him. But this? He asked, “I’ve never done anything with someone asleep. And what do you mean consensually? Is that a thing?”

“It is. A lot of people love it. If they have a partner who they trust enough, they give their partner permission to touch their bodies while they’re asleep.” Phil held Dan’s gaze. “Dan, I trust you enough.”

Dan’s cheeks flushed and he shook his head. “No.”

A crease appeared between Phil’s eyebrows. “No?”

“Just no! I mean it, Phil.” His voice came out a bit louder than he’d intended, and Phil flinched a little. Dan sighed and felt the need to explain, “I mean, thank you for the offer. That’s sweet and I’m sure I would love it, but that’s not the point. I don’t want you participating in this just for me. That isn’t how it should be. This is the sort of thing that both people involved should be excited to do, not just one.”

“Oh.” Phil’s cheeks got pink. Then he smiled. “Thanks, Dan. For that being your first instinct. That’s exactly why I trust you with this. I know that my wellbeing will always be the first thing you think of.” Dan took a deep breath to steady himself. It didn’t help much. He closed his eyes and admitted, “Thank you for trusting me. It honestly means the world that you trust me. But I don’t trust me. I feel like there’s a monster sleeping inside me, and what if it wakes up while I’m… and what if I hurt you? You are far too important for me to take that risk.”

Phil leaned in and his lips brushed softly against Dan’s. He smiled as Dan’s eyes opened wide, and he said in a warm voice, “Dan, I know you. I’ve known you for a long time, and I’ve seen who you really are. You have a good, kind soul, and it’s beautiful. There is no monster sleeping inside you. I’m sure of that.” “You are?” Dan whispered. When Phil nodded in response, Dan leaned forward to rest his forehead against Phil’s. “Thank you.”

As they sat together like that for a moment, Phil moved his hand in soothing circles across Dan’s back. After a moment, Dan’s rigid frame relaxed under Phil’s touch. Phil broke the silence, asking, “So, are you feeling any differently about this topic, now that we’ve established this trust?”

Dan shook his head and leaned back so that he could see Phil’s face. “The trust is nice, but the other issue still stands. I’m not going to ask you to do something like this for me in bed, if you aren’t also into it.”

“Oh,” Phil’s cheeks got very pink and he seemed to be having trouble meeting Dan’s gaze. “And how did you know that I, um, am not…?” “Phil,” Dan tipped his head, trying to catch his partner’s averted gaze. “Are you saying this is something you like?” Phil’s face got impossibly redder and he just nodded.

Feeling like this was something that needed to be spoken out loud, Dan insisted, “Can you tell me? Please? What were you trying to say?”

Phil seemed to take a moment to organize his thoughts, and he finally looked up to say, “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I didn’t just admit this. It would have made everything so much simpler.”

He reached out to take Phil’s hands and gave them a comforting squeeze, and whispered, “Don’t worry about that. You don’t have to admit anything until you’re comfortable saying it.”

As the stiffness in his shoulders eased, Phil continued, “I feel comfortable. I can say this. Dan, I have always really liked the idea of being asleep while someone I trust is in bed with me, using my body. And when I was reading about incubi and what they do, I couldn’t help picturing myself in bed with you like that.” Dan was so tempted to lean forward and kiss Phil, and as he licked his own lips in anticipation, the skin tingled. Still, he held himself back. He needed to be sure. He asked, “Phil, is this really something you honestly want, or are you just saying this to please me? Because you think I want it?”

“It’s really something I honestly want,” Phil said, but then he hesitated. A moment passed during which Dan held his breath, waiting to hear what Phil would add. Finally, he continued, “I want this, Dan. But I need to put some ground rules down. I hope that doesn’t bother you or make you think I’m scared of you. Because I’m not. That doesn’t change what I said earlier about trust.”

“Of course not.” Dan reached out to grasp Phil’s hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. “Ground rules sound perfectly reasonable and smart. I’d like to have some in place, too. Do you have any in mind?”

“Yeah, let me just…” Phil grabbed the book from the coffee table, rustled through the pages, and withdrew a sheet of notebook paper. He also snatched a pen from the table, which he tapped on the page. Phil said, “I already jotted down a couple, when I was thinking earlier. Um, so how would I stay asleep during this? You know I don’t really like sleeping pills that much. So, I’m wondering if that is my only option.”

“Oh!” Dan exclaimed, a little horrified. “No, I wouldn’t put you in that position. This is actually a perk of being an incubus – I can help you fall asleep and stay asleep, kind of like a form of hypnotism. It’s harmless. And you won’t need to take any medication.”

Phil smiled and crossed off the first item on his list. “Good, that eases my mind. I wasn’t looking forward to that part.”

Dan smiled, too. This feeling… this is what this moment should feel like. Two people, coming together to face a challenge, and reassuring each other. It had always felt like Phil had his back, and that it was just him and Phil against the world. This moment was no different, and suddenly he knew that he could do this as long as Phil was at his side. Knowing that he had calmed Phil gave him some inspiration, and he said, “Hey, Phil?” He must have said it in an odd voice, because Phil looked up from his list, and his eyebrows were creased in concern. Phil asked, “What is it?” “I was hoping I could add some things to that list,” Dan said, and he was surprised by how quickly these crucial details came to mind, now that he was allowing himself to entertain the possibility of doing this with Phil. When Phil nodded his encouragement, Dan continued, “I think we need to decide what I will do to you, after you are asleep. I don’t want to do anything to your body that you don’t want.”

Phil scribbled something on his notepad and bit his bottom lip as he thought. Then he nodded. “I think that’s a good idea. I don’t think I want anything penetrative. I don’t think that would be a good idea, not when I’m asleep and can’t tell you if I feel comfortable.” Dan nodded emphatically. “That sounds good to me. I wasn’t planning to do that anyway.”

Phil grinned, looking up from the page. “You have some big plans for me, Daniel?”

Dan flushed and looked down, and he tried to recover by sounding coy. “Well, now if I told you all that, it would spoil the surprise.” Then because he didn’t actually have any plans, Dan sobered and said more honestly, “I’m not going to do anything kinky or invasive. I just want to make you feel good.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Dan saw Phil shiver.

Dan frowned and met Phil’s eyes, searching his face for signs of discomfort. He asked, “Why were you shivering? Are you cold… or… or am I scaring you?”

“No.” A much smaller tremor racked Phil’s body as he continued to hold Dan’s gaze. “It’s not a bad shiver. It’s…” Abruptly, Phil tossed his notepad on the coffee table. “Forget the list. I want you. I trust you, and I want you now. Can we go to our bedroom?”

Dan felt a rush of pleasure at just the sound of the words, making him shiver a little like Phil had a moment before. “Fuck yes, please,” he whispered, which perhaps wasn’t the most romantic sentiment, but it was hard to find different words right now. Hoping to show what he was having trouble saying, Dan leaned in to kiss Phil softly.

Phil responded and the kiss quickly heated up. Somehow without communicating, they maneuvered to their feet without breaking the kiss. Phil wove his fingers into Dan’s curls, and between kisses he mumbled against Dan’s lips, “To the bed?” “Mmm hmm,” Dan hummed, enjoying the sensation of his lips vibrating with the sound against Phil’s lips. Their lips barely broke contact as they started shuffling down the hall. Dan’s head was swimming with the sensation, and in this haze of hormones he was only aware of a few things: the way Phil’s fingers fisted his hair tighter, the brush of the hallway wall against his back, and the pounding of his heart in his chest, so loud that he was sure Phil could hear it too. It took them a moment to realize that they had reached their bedroom door. They pulled apart reluctantly, and Dan pushed open the door. When he turned back to Phil, he saw that Phil had discarded his shirt on the floor. Dan grinned before removing his own shirt also and tossing it to the ground. “Where do you want me?” Phil asked as he stepped into their bedroom.

“Lie down, please,” Dan requested. He felt himself sober once more, shouldering the responsibility of what he was about to do. He needed to be levelheaded and strong for both of them now.

Phil walked over to the bed and settled down as best he could, but he was squirming restlessly as he looked at Dan and bit his bottom lip. He asked in a small voice, “How am I going to do this?”

Dan rushed over and sat on the edge of the bed. He took Phil’s hand and asked, “What’s wrong, sweetheart? You don’t have to do anything that scares you.”

“It’s not that I’m scared. How am I supposed to fall asleep?” Phil whined. “When you’re sitting here, looking like that, and my heart is racing?”

Dan chuckled and gave Phil’s hand a reassuring squeeze. “I told you, I have that part covered. Just listen to the sound of my voice.”

* * *

“Tune everything out but my voice,” Dan said slowly. “And breathe.”

Phil closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and started to exhale slowly. But as he did, a thought occurred to him, so his eyes snapped open and he started to sit up. “I should take off my pants first, shouldn’t I? That will help me to fall asleep.”

“Relax, silly.” Dan said with a giggle, and he pressed Phil against the pillows gently with a palm to his chest.

Feeling the warmth of Dan’s hand against his bare skin, Phil settled down again without protest. “Sorry,” he said. “I just worry this isn’t going to work. I ate a whole bag of chocolate-covered espresso beans earlier. Maybe we should do this another time.”

Dan seemed to have trouble meeting Phil’s gaze, so he stared into an empty corner of the room. “Do you… not want to? Because I would understand if that was the case.”

“No! I want to. Of course, I do. But I’m just worried I can’t do my part and fall asleep. My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest.” Phil reached for Dan’s hand and shifted it to rest over his racing heart. “Do you feel it?”

“Wow, that is fast.” Dan said, and he ran his fingers in soft circles over Phil’s chest. He seemed to finally work up the courage to look unblinkingly into Phil’s eyes. “Phil, do you trust me?”

“Yes, with my life,” Phil answered without hesitation.

Dan grinned. “You don’t need to trust me quite that much. I meant, do you trust me to do this? To help you fall asleep? To keep you safe once you are unconscious?”

“I do,” Phil said, feeling the tension leave his muscles. “Completely.”

“Okay then, let’s try this again.” Dan said with a smile. “Breathe. And tune everything out but the sound of my voice.” Phil had been aware of the room around them – the familiar comforting surroundings of this place, the feel of the grey silk sheets against his skin, the scent of the sandalwood candle on the nightstand, the consternation of the traffic on the street outside, and the heat of Dan radiating from his palm on Phil’s chest – and he took a deep breath, letting these things fade away. He just focused on the sound of Dan’s breathing, waiting for the words that would come.

“Listen carefully, Phil. I’m going to count backwards from ten. And by the time I reach one, you will be asleep. Take a deep breath.”

Phil obeyed, feeling his lungs expand with the air.

“Good, and now exhale,” Dan instructed. “Ten. You can feel your limbs resting on the bed. Feel them relax and get heavy with sleep.”

It was true. His hands seemed to be as heavy as stones now, and just as immobile. Phil started to feel the sensation that his hands were sinking into the mattress and in panic he tried to twitch his fingers, but they wouldn’t move. “Dan?” he whimpered.

“You’re fine, trust me. Take a breath,” Dan said.

He did trust him. So, Phil took a slow breath and stopped worrying about his hands. He just focused on Dan’s face and the way his curls glowed in the yellow light of the bedside lamp. Phil couldn’t be scared as long as Dan was looking at him with such adoration.

“Nine. Your breathing is getting easier,” Dan instructed, as he continued to stare unblinkingly at Phil. “Match the pace of my words. Slow and steady. Breathe in and breathe out. In… and then out. In… and out. Good. Just like that.”

It was working. Phil could feel how he might soon drift off to sleep if Dan kept this up. The heaviness in his hands had spread all the way up his arms to his shoulders, which were firmly pressed against his pillows.

“Eight. You can feel your eyelids getting heavier. Each time you blink, they get harder and harder to open. You can keep them closed, Phil. Rest your tired eyes.”

“Don’t leave me,” Phil muttered, unsure when his tongue had gotten so sluggishly uncoordinated in his mouth. He wanted to reopen his eyes to reassure himself that Dan hadn’t vanished when he could no longer see him, but his lids refused to cooperate.

“I’m here,” Dan said.

Phil felt soft fingertips brush his cheek and he smiled. Even though he couldn’t see it, he knew that Dan was still looking at him that way, so there was nothing to worry about. “Seven. Let go of all the little things you are worrying about. You are safe here with me and I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

Phil already knew that. He drifted off. He never heard Dan count to six.

* * *

“Phil?” Dan asked in a whisper. He touched Phil’s forehead lightly and then combed his fingers through his black hair. He half expected to see the blue eyes flutter open in response, but they didn’t.

Phil’s soft snore a moment later confirmed that he was asleep – it was a sound well known and loved by Dan after years of sharing a bed with him. It sounded like home.

And it meant that everything was going according to plan. Dan let out a shaky breath. He knew in theory that he should be able to talk someone to sleep, sort of like hypnotism, but since he had never done it before he hadn’t been sure. He had probably sounded more confident when discussing this earlier with Phil, but that was just because if worst came to worst, they could try this again later with a different plan in place.

Now though, it was time. Dan took another unsteady breath, and since speaking out loud felt more comforting he said, “Okay, Phil. We can do this. It will be alright.”

Phil made no response besides a snore, but that was all Dan needed to hear. He was here because he trusted Dan and he wanted them to do this together.

“Okay,” Dan said one more time, steadying himself. He re-positioned himself on the bed so that he was straddling Phil’s hips and gazed down at him. The gray sheets looked lovely beside his milky white skin, and Dan couldn’t resist reaching down to trail his fingers across Phil’s chest, circling a nipple. He wanted this.

Dan reached for the bottle of warming massage oil on the nightstand.

* * *

The hallway before him was long, but Phil kept walking. He was searching for something, but he wasn’t sure what; he supposed he would know it when he found it. He followed the pattern of the carpet – gold square, red square, gold square, red square – and step by step he made his way down the hallway. The shifting stripes of the wallpaper and the doors he passed marked his progress and proved he was moving down the hall, but the end never seemed any closer.

Undeterred, Phil kept going. He knew that whatever was here would be worth it once he found it. He looked around at the bland watercolor prints decorating the walls, but there was nothing of interest in them. Tilting his head, he listened near the closed doors as he walked past them, hoping for the murmur of a familiar voice inside, calling him to come closer. But there was nothing, just the sound of his footfalls and breathing echoing off the walls of the endless hall. He began to worry that the thing he was searching for was lost. His breathing got a bit heavier.

A bird trilled. There was another moment where the only sound was Phil’s footsteps on the carpet. Then the bird called again. It sounded so lost and alone, like it was searching for someone, so Phil looked around for the poor thing.

That is when he saw that the door that he was walking by was open – it was the first door that he had seen so far that was open. As he stood in the doorway, he felt the sun warming him and the breeze on his face. The air was filled with the sweet scent of wildflowers, and ahead of him was a wide endless field of flowers. Phil lifted his tennis shoe from the carpet of the hall, and put his bare foot down in the field, feeling the grass tickle his toes.

The sun was warmer than he thought it would be. He could feel it through his t-shirt, and the skin below seemed to glow with the heat. Phil kept moving and continued to look around, still intent on his unknown quest. He knew that he was looking for something, so his searching gaze roved the field. Red, pink, and white carnations. Blue bachelor’s buttons and pure white daisies. Sunny yellow coreopsis and bright bluish-purple blooms of aster. Purple lavender and blue forget-me-nots. Scattered throughout the field, more beautiful than the rest, were small wild roses in white, pink, and bright crimson.

Walking through this field gave Phil the odd sense that he was surrounded by someone’s feelings, like he was walking through a living love letter. My heart aches. I admire you. I’ll never forget you. This is a symbol of my love. I am devoted to you. I remember our true love. I am worthy of you. I love you.

Overcome with emotion, he knelt to stroke the shiny leaves of a fern. It was so perfect and magical – he wanted to protect it. When Phil looked up from the fern, he saw that there was now a bed in the field of flowers.

The gray sheets were familiar – it was his bed from the moon room. It looked soft and inviting, so he rose to his feet and approached the bed. The sheets were just as silky as he knew they would be, as he stroked them with his fingertips. The sun had warmed them, so they felt like they had just been taken from the dryer, and Phil couldn’t resist climbing into bed. He sprawled atop the sheets on his back and relaxed as he stared at the blue sky. A bird occasionally flitted across the sky, and he worried about that bird that sung in the hallway; he hoped that it had found this field and the one that it had been calling for.

“Phil?”

At the sound of his name, he looked up. He had been expecting it to be Dan, yet he was still startled because Dan didn’t look the way he had been expecting. His ears came to long tapered points. As he walked, a long, thick, hairless tail switched back and forth behind him in time with his stride. Two black wings were folded behind him, and just the points were visible above his shoulders and the tips trailing behind him.

The small stirring of fear Phil felt vanished when Dan smiled, and Phil returned it. He didn’t sit up, just watched as Dan approached. Without another word, Dan climbed into bed with him and clambered atop him. Something south of Phil’s naval stirred at the familiar weight of Dan straddling his hips, and he sucked in a deep breath. Or he tried to.

Dan was resting most of his weight on Phil’s chest, which made it difficult to breathe. Where they were pressed together, Phil’s skin felt hot and tingly, almost uncomfortably so. He was just about to jokingly comment that Dan was taking his breath away, but then Dan’s mouth was on his before he had a chance to speak. The sweet taste of Dan and the familiar way he moved his lips made Phil’s head spin. This moment felt so perfect.

Except for the fact that as Dan kissed him, his breathing sped up and it got even harder to take in air. Phil squirmed beneath Dan, trying to find some space to breathe, but he failed. His heart raced in his chest. Phil mumbled against Dan’s lips, “Dan, please. Dan, I need…”

* * *

“Dan,” Phil muttered in his sleep. His chest, glistening with massage oil, rose fast beneath Dan’s palms. Dan could feel his heart racing and knew that Phil was dreaming. “Shhh, shhh, shhh.” Dan rubbed his sternum with one hand and stroked his cheek with the other. His brows creased with concern as he watched Phil’s face – he had wanted to make this body feel good, but the nightmare was spoiling that. He said, “Phil, you are safe here with me and I won’t let anything happen to you. I promised, remember?”

Phil’s lips twitched at the corners, though he didn’t give any other signs of hearing. After a moment, his breathing became easier and the rhythm of his heart regulated. The bad dream seemed to have passed. If it hadn’t, Dan would have stopped there and tried to wake him. But Phil was peaceful in his sleep once more.

Relieved, Dan leaned in to place a kiss on Phil’s forehead, willing his mind to entertain him with much nicer dreams. He kissed his cheek next, wanting to taste more of his soft skin. He trailed the kisses across Phil’s jawbone, feeling the stubble that was just starting to come in, and then he settled on Phil’s neck.

As he supported his weight on his elbows, Dan lingered on Phil’s neck for a bit longer, sucking on the skin just hard enough to leave a mark that Phil could see when he woke up. He knew that Phil would like that – to see evidence of the fact that something had happened when he was asleep.

After finishing with Phil’s neck, he moved lower, sliding down the oil-slicked body until he reached the waistband of Phil’s sweatpants. Dan’s pants got tighter at the sight of the black hairs trailing down Phil’s belly, disappearing under the hem of the fabric, but Dan ignored his own needs – tonight was about Phil. He shifted himself so that he was kneeling between Phil’s legs, and then he glanced up at his lovely face. Reminding himself with that look that Phil had asked him to do this, he started to tug down Phil’s pants.

* * *

The sky was blue. Impossibly blue. So deep and vibrant that it gave him a spinning vertigo feeling so that he was unsure if he was staring up into the cosmos or if he was about to sink into the sea. The feeling of spinning was made worse by the fact that he was no longer aware of the sensation of the bed he had been lying on – all of his senses had been invaded by Dan. He could taste him on his tingling lips, his head was swimming with the scent of Dan’s Lynx deodorant, and he heard nothing but the panting of their breaths and the racing of his heart.

His skin burned wherever Dan touched him, and it happened to be burning everywhere because it felt like Dan was touching every part of him at the same time – hands caressing his shoulders, his thighs, his hips, and sides. Every part of him felt loved and embraced by Dan.

Eventually, Phil became a bit more aware of more of his surroundings than just the sky. He saw the wings unfurled behind Dan, beating at the wind. They were flying together.

* * *

Dan took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, watching with fascination as the simple sensation of his breath ghosting across Phil’s belly made gooseflesh rise there and the fine hairs on Phil’s skin stand on end. Smiling fondly, he kissed Phil’s belly before going lower. Slowly, he eased Phil’s soft cock into his mouth. It responded almost immediately, growing thicker and harder as Dan sucked gently. It was very different from doing this with Phil when he was awake. He was used to Phil’s sweet voice telling him how nice it felt, his fingers running through Dan’s hair, and the shifting of his hips as he squirmed under the attention.

The incubus in Dan was soaring in elation at this scenario it had longed for with its willing lover, but the human side of Dan couldn’t help being uncertain. Was Phil enjoying this? Was he doing it right? He longed for Phil’s steady presence and reassurance. Dan glanced up, searching Phil’s face for a reaction. Phil’s mouth had opened slightly and his breath whistled softly past his teeth in a sound that Dan was very familiar with after sleeping beside him for almost a decade. There was no obvious change in his sleeping expression after the added stimulation, but… his breath seemed to be coming a bit faster. That was a good sign. Dan sucked harder.

* * *

For one second, Phil thought he was flying with Dan and kissing him. In the next second, Phil knew he was lying down and that Dan’s mouth was wrapped around his cock. It felt much realer and there than his lips did a moment ago, in a way that Phil couldn’t explain but thoroughly enjoyed. He stopped trying to make sense of it and just rode the sensation, feeling the bliss wash over his body in waves.

Dan was a god at this, a truly skilled artist when it came to blow jobs, and Phil wanted to tell him so. They usually talked during this, but Phil couldn’t find his lips. It was funny. He usually knew where his lips were, and he was sure that they were on his face a moment ago when Dan had been kissing him, but he couldn’t find them now to move them and form the words on the tip of his tongue. And speaking of tongues, Dan’s tongue was… it was…

Language failed Phil. It seemed like his brain was short circuiting. He was helpless and could do nothing but ride the waves of sensation that ravaged his body. The tide. Drifting. The Sea of Tranquility in the sparkling cosmos. The moon hanging on the wall above their bed. Another heavenly wave washed over him.

* * *

Dan swirled his tongue along the base of Phil’s cock and felt it twitch in his mouth. There was the swish of hair across a pillowcase and he looked up, seeing Phil’s head thrashing back and forth. He was still asleep but was writhing in his sleep, definitely getting close.

Dan redoubled his efforts, bobbing up and down, and even letting the head brush lightly against the back of his throat. He was going to try swallowing around it, but suddenly Phil’s hips started to twitch, and Dan decided not to risk it while Phil was out of it. Besides, Phil didn’t seem to need anything else. He was already on the edge. Dan was sure of it. He knew this body so well.

Dan watched Phil’s face curiously, wondering if his serene expression would shift abruptly when he came. Maybe he would even wake suddenly. Phil’s brow was glazed with sweat and his eyes danced behind his closed lids – he seemed to be dreaming intensely about something. Hopefully they were good dreams. While Dan was focused on Phil’s face, he missed the early signs of Phil’s impending orgasm: the way his stomach muscles tightened, the twitch in his thighs, and the quiver of his cock. Unexpectedly, Phil’s orgasm released in his mouth and Dan had to hurry to seal his lips tightly to avoid a mess on the sheets. He stroked Phil’s side tenderly through it, comforting him if he was awake enough to feel it, and loving him even if he couldn’t.

When Phil became flaccid and his body relaxed once more into a deeper slumber, Dan pulled off of him. He had held Phil’s release on his tongue, and he reached now for the empty glass on the nightstand to spit it out. He then returned his attention to Phil, making sure that he was still resting peacefully and didn’t need any cleanup. Luckily, Dan had carefully contained all the mess, so he didn’t need to get up for a washcloth. Phil’s pants were still tugged down around his thighs, and Dan pulled them up to cover his body so that Phil wouldn’t feel cold or uncomfortably exposed when he woke. Then he grabbed a blanket, which he pulled up to Phil’s chin and tucked around him.

Dan curled up against Phil’s side, shutting his eyes and listening to the soothing sound of Phil’s steady breathing. His ignored erection was starting to soften in his pants, but he felt no desire to tend to it now. What he had done with Phil a moment ago had left him feeling completely sated, and he felt like the incubus in him was contentedly purring with pleasure. All Dan wanted to do now was to sleep beside his boyfriend. And after a few moments, he did.

* * *

When Phil opened his eyes, the darkness in the room disoriented him at first. Being a nocturnal person, he wasn’t used to waking up in the middle of the night. His eyes quickly adjusted to the dark and he was able to recognize details of the room that were glazed in the moonlight streaming in the window, like the familiar freckled arm wrapped around his side. He shifted slightly so that he could see Dan’s face with dark lashes feathered across his cheeks, and curls mussed by sleep.

Unfortunately, the movement woke Dan and his eyes fluttered open. He blinked at Phil a few times until his eyes finally focused on his face. They widened slightly when he saw Phil was awake.

“Sorry I woke you,” Phil whispered. For some reason, the darkness around them made him hush his voice, as if afraid of waking something.

“S’ okay,” Dan mumbled. He cleared his throat before asking in a whisper, “How did you sleep?”

That question meant so much more than the obvious of course, and it brought it all rushing back in an instant. Phil’s cheeks flushed deeply in the darkness, and he was glad that Dan wouldn’t be able to see it. He cleared his throat too, stalling for a moment, before answering, “I did. I had some interesting dreams.”

Dan stared at him for a minute, biting his bottom lip before asking, “Good dreams?” Phil returned the stare. There was so much to say. He needed to tell him that he was glad that Dan was an incubus and he wouldn’t have it any other way. This was something he was happy to explore again sometime with Dan because it was so much fun. He wanted to ask Dan if it had been fun for him, too. He hoped that Dan knew how much he loved him because he felt so loved.

Yet in this moment, none of that needed to be said. The conversation would keep until morning. Right now, they were in their bed – the place of silent tactile communication, where ‘I love you’ could be said as easily with a gesture as it could be with words.

Phil reached behind Dan, running his fingertips along Dan’s shoulder blades. In response, Dan’s back arched, like a cat stretching happily upon waking. He pressed his body against Phil’s and seemed to be responding to the unspoken tactile communication in kind.

Phil smiled as he rubbed Dan’s back, remembering the wings that Dan had had when they flew together over the field of flowers. Phil answered him, “The best dreams.”

#dan x phil #phandom #phanfiction #incubus #phandom big bang

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writingwithcolor · 6 years

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Hey! This blog has been really valuable for a story that I'm planning to write, but i have a few more questions. So basically my story is about a Jewish girl who takes revenge on a Nazi after her death. I've done some research on what the Torah says about both revenge and the idea of the soul remaining on Earth after death, but it's ambiguous on both counts? The Torah generally condemns revenge but I think it can be justified here? But can Jewish people become ghosts after death?

Can a dybbuk kill a Nazi?

The ghosts in our mythology are called dybbuks, which fall into the paranormal category of "ghosts who possess a living person like a demon." I, personally, like the idea of a dybbuk punching a Nazi, but given that we are a varied and diverse culture with a tradition of lively disagreement, the notes are, of course, welcome to such (from within the community.) Anyway, I'm no expert on dybbuk lore but now that you have that word you can use it in your further research. You may want to read some folktales specifically about dybbuks. They're usually regarded as a story's villain, which obviously she wouldn't be, but just as Western-style dragons are the good guys more often these days than in the past when they were usually villains -- and sometimes even vampires, too -- I think other creatures of Halloween can be redeemed if handled properly.

Whose body is she possessing, by the way? Also, I don't know if dybbuks can possess an object instead of a person, but 1. that would be a way of solving the need for involving an additional character and dealing with the subsequent issue of consent, and 2. you can always work around that by having someone point out "gosh, I didn't know a dybbuk could even do that, possessing a steak knife/baseball bat/copy of the entire Lord of the Rings instead of a person. Who knew!"

I am also not an expert on how our theology handles revenge, buuuuut you could always spin it as she's killing him to protect others, either in the moment or the future people he's going to hurt once he finishes his coffee.

--Shira,who once wrote a romance between a vampire and a dybbuk who don't want to be a vampire and a dybbuk

#hcmemade-dynamite #supernatural beings #demons #vampires #dybbuk #nazi #nazi tw #Jewish #ghosts

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fyrapartnersearch · 5 years

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Flower's Search for New Partners

Hey, I'm a 30 year old writer in search of new partners.

About Me

Posting Schedule: I do my best to respond to my stories once every two to three weeks. There are times when I respond more frequently on weekdays but other times when I post primarily on weekends. It all depends on how busy life becomes. Fair warning, sometimes my writing partners may have to wait longer than a three week period. Being made to feel guilty about not posting is a massive turn-off for me. Spare us both the headache and please search for another partner if you are the type to become anxious while waiting for posts.

On Smut: Smut tends to take me longer since I am very critical of my writing in those types of scenes. Intimate scenes take me twice as long to write for male characters in comparison with females. Again, just being upfront and honest with you. I enjoy smut as an added condiment rather than main dish.

OOC Communication: We do not need to become best friends but I need to feel comfortable with my partners. I need to feel like we can have our characters have a dispute or dislike one another without it leading to misunderstandings between us as writers.

Types of Writing Partners Desired: Anyone is welcomed here. I want your brain. Your real life gender is irrelevant to me. I prefer partners who write in past tense and third person. First person is perfectly fine in character thoughts. I want to craft a story with another person. Give me your ideas and I will give you mine. We can beat it together into something we both are eager to write. Must be 18+ in regards to your actual age.

Characters I Play: I am perfectly capable of writing either a male or female character. Usually, my female characters tend to be either bi-sexual or heterosexual. Other labels (bi-curious, lesbian, pansexual, etc.) will sometimes make appearances as well. My male characters are more times than not heterosexual but they are capable of being bi-sexual.

Post Length: I can post a lot or I can post a little. It depends on where we are in the story. While I do value quality over quantity, I despise one-liners.

Malleable Ideas: I thoroughly enjoy collaboration. Typically, none of my ideas are set in stone because I prefer to build a story with my partner rather than dictate all of the terms.

Stories I like:

Diversity: The world is filled with a lot of similarities but there are differences too. I enjoy writing people of color (PoC) within my stories. I look through through those face claims first when searching for character inspiration. I don't mind writing other races either! In fact, I am happy too. However, if you would have an issue with me using a PoC, either as an NPC or main character, I would rather not write with you

Drama: I really, really love drama in my roleplays. A lot of my characters have tragic pasts. My partner would need roll with the punches and maybe even return them because it's boring for me to play submissive characters with no backbone. It's also boring for me to write the perfect couple. I need hellfire dammit! Now, this does not need to happen all of the time. As with all things, too much of something lessens its appeal

Humor: Make me laugh. It is one of the greatest gifts you can give a person and I will like you ten times more for it.

Low (Modern) Fantasy: A good example of this genre, for me, would be the television show, Supernatural. I write these types of stories most because they are so much fun!

Superheroes: I like playing superheroes! I haven't done it in a while but my interest has not waned. I should warn that I don't like playing canons like Storm, Thor, or any of those awesome creations. I don't feel like I can do them justice so I rather just make my original character.

Mythology: Admittedly, I have a bit of a weakness for mythology. While I am most familiar with Greek myths, I am more than happy to explore others. Stories that entice me are mortals falling in love with gods. Recreating a romance between gods such as Hades or Persephone. Or defining the reason why a god might be perceived as something such as why Zeus is seen as a cheater or what not.

Lycanthropy: There’s a special place in my heart for werewolves. Not only do I enjoy reading and watching movies about them but I really love writing them.

Vampires: Same as above. I’ve been reading about vampires forever and I do enjoy a good movie, like the Underworld series. I’m pretty flexible on the lore we borrow from to craft our own versions.

Angels: Love them! They can be sent from heaven on a mission, stolen by some bold demon, or banished for a misdeed.

Demons: Love them!

Westerns: Westerns are a tricky category. As such, it really depends if I’d enjoy writing them or not. I like the idea of rural setting in modern times. I’m not sure if that’s what someone might consider a western. I also really love Westworld. The grittiness of the characters and such. It really just depends with this one.

System Roleplays: I’ve been wanting to try a system game for the longest. It just hasn’t happened yet. If you are looking to write one with me, whether if in a 1v1 or group game, you will need to be patient. I have no experience with it other than a few brief games and watching Critical Role every week.

Historical Settings: Again, like with Westerns, it really depends with this category. Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely adore period pieces. I’m constantly searching for one to watch on Netflix. They’re just so hard and my confidence in writing them is pretty shaky.

Apocalyptic Settings: I don't mind these types of games. I will usually take a peek at group games with this setting but I have never ventured to do a story in a one on one setting. Doesn't mean I am not opened to it though.

Fandoms I Like (Original Characters and sometimes Canon Characters):

Westworld, Sense8, Charmed, Blade Runner 2049, Altered Carbon, The Magicians, Potterverse, Merlin, Penny Dreadful, Critical Role, Game of Thrones, Lord of the Rings, Downton Abbey, The Dragon Prince, My Hero Academia, Mirai Nikki, Akama Ga Kill, Sword Art Online, Elfen Lied and loads more!

Here are some examples of story ideas I've come up with in the past. These are all modern mythology retellings.

Eye of The Storm

Story : Your character has always been troubled, the type who skipped school on the daily basis and stole lipstick from stores, even though there was not a need. People, who have the misfortune of knowing her, view her as being another ungrateful brat, destined to end up in some expensive rehab center or overdosed in a darken corner of the club. They were correct. She turned out to be a blemish upon the face of the world and her parents’ constant shame. No one understands it as there is no visible explanation for it. Either way, somehow, she ends up at the chaotic shores in the middle of the storm, garbed in her vomit stained clothes and deadly intent. She walks out into the water, seeking to end her life, and finds herself rescued by the most unlikely of sources. Setting : A college town a few hours out from the city. The only qualifier I have in regards to setting is that it must take place near the seas. Keywords : Romance, Substance Abuse, Suicide, Modern Fantasy, Mythology(Poseidon) Seeking : Your character, of course, is our troubled young woman, who desperately needs to be guided away from what has been destroying her from within for years. I have a loose idea that something escaped the mysterious and dangerous depths of the ocean and has taken up residence within her body for years, potentially poisoning her beyond redemption. Maybe she discovered a necklace as a kid or something? We can discuss this together. Kinks : Due to lack of a better word or descriptor, this might be considered a Dominant/submissive type of roleplay with Poseidon (Ishmael) assuming the dominant role. The God has possessed a lifelong obsession with water so there would obviously be a few scenes within that type of environment. Water is open to change though so he would be willing to permit whomever he’s with to lead every once in a while.

Waste Not, Want Not

Story : Apollo has often been regarded as being a fairly lighthearted god, one who brings constant sunshine and inspires brilliance into whomever surrounds him, much like the sun which is essential for the creation of life. However, with the disappearance of his wild but truly believed twin sister, his gentle countenance has become resigned and withdrawn from the world. Unfortunately, his grief is not one to be experienced alone. Without the presence of its sun prince, the world becomes dark in consequence, not just in temperature but also in creativity .Where people experimented to create a new, they have become content with their ignorance and current circumstances. Apollo finds inspiration though in the most unlikely of places; however, what price is he willing to play to regain his muse? Setting : This can take place in a modern (rural or urban) or historical setting. Keywords : Romance, Modern or Historical, Mythology (Apollo), Betrayal, Punishment, Teasing, Exploration Seeking : This is a fairly loose idea. I am basically seeking someone who is capable to break a God’s muse block.

To Kiss A Spy

Story : Marriage is not to be broken. Zeus has sworn himself anew to his wife, Hera, determined to take his vows seriously and be loyal to her until the end of their days. Faithfully, he ignores the temptations of the flesh, no matter how succulent, from both human and goddess alike. His temper suffers as a result but those around him have learned to adjust to their new leader’s temperament. In other words, he is given a wide berth. All that matters is that his Hera is content, basking in being the sole owner of his affections. At least, he believes she is. In truth, the Queen of the Gods does not believe her husband is capable of the barest hint of monogamy. She is certain that he is still cheating on her even though her evidence suggests he speaks truthfully about his change of heart. Determined to prove herself right, she acquires some temptation, one which her husband would not be able to resist. Setting : This can take place in a modern (rural or urban) or historical setting. Keywords : Romance, Historical or Modern, Mythology (Zeus), Betrayal, Punishment, Teasing, Cheating Seeking : Whomever Hera has bribed, hired, or threatened to do this piece of dirty work for her.

Contact: Please contact me at [email protected] if you're interested in writing with me.

#multiple paragraph #long term #marvel rp #harry potter rp #submission

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balioc · 6 years

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Talkin’ About Outsiders

Riffing on my recent post:

If you wanted to keep something like the traditional D&D Great Wheel cosmology, and you wanted all the planes on the Wheel and all the various alignment-oriented races of outsiders to be cool and thematic and not-shoehorned-in, what would it look like? Let’s give it a shot. Maybe this will be useful someday, if I ever run a planar-savvy D&D campaign. Or if you do.

Guiding Principles:

* All groups of outsiders should feel narratively resonant. Players should have an intuitive sense of what they’re about, what role they would play in heroic fantasy stories, etc. We want to avoid “oh yeah, those guys over in that corner, because of course there have to be some guys over in that corner.”

* Outsiders should feel otherworldly and mystical, like the spirits they are, not like Another Race of Monsters that’s been jammed into a planar role by fiat.

* Outsiders should strongly reflect their associated alignment, but, like, in a cool way.

I’m also going to be working with my own personal gut-level sense of how the alignment grid “should” work on a cosmic scale, which suggests that the “corner planes” -- LG, CG, LE, and CE -- are going to be the strongest, most magical, most populated, etc. In a metaphysical sense, a strong good/evil commitment and a strong law/chaos commitment reinforce each other rather than diluting each other. In a demographic sense, while in fact the plurality of mortals are TN due to vacillation or apathy, most noteworthy mortals with plane-defining levels of soul power have corner alignments. In a pragmatic storycrafting sense, three of those four corners are way cooler and better-developed than anything else on the Wheel, so we should probably run with that. The upshot is that the NG, NE, LN, and CN outsiders can and should be constructed such that they just have less impact on the universe overall. The in-betweeny planes...well, they’re afterthoughts, we’ll get to them (briefly) but can ignore them for now.

OK. Diving in:

Chaotic evil demons from the Abyss and lawful evil devils from Hell are being kept, more or less intact. They’ve gotten more attention than any other planar races, by like an order of magnitude; they’ve got lots of existing lore and monster-design that people know and love; it would be a crime to throw that stuff away. Fluff should probably try to present them with a somewhat more-philosophical, less-Flanderizing spin than they usually get. The conceptual heart of demon-ness isn’t “graaaargh kill smash consume defile” (even if that is a popular instantiation), it’s something like “literally nothing matters except my desire and my vision.” Similarly, devils would benefit from a little less “we’re all legalistic treacherous assholes” (even if many of them are) and a little more “the order of the universe is legitimate, the infernal hierarchy is legitimate, we follow the rules but we play to win.” But fundamentally these are the creatures you know and love, don’t fix what ain’t broke.

Neutral evil yugoloths can stay, too, more or less. They’ve gotten a fair amount of good monster design too, and they’re popular, although I confess that I have no idea why. A race of fiendish mercenaries who manipulate and prolong the Blood War? Sure, why not? I do want to give them a bit more character, though, and not the inexplicable apocalypse-obsessed death-spirit thing from Pathfinder. Rather: as I understand it, neutral evil as an alignment is mostly about pure selfishness. It’s not hard to capture the idea of “selfishness” in spiritual cosmic form -- that’s the gaki, the hungry ghost. Yugoloths should be driven by intense insatiable cravings, presumably with each kind having a different general category of craving. This will do a lot to define their politics internal and external, the means of treating with them, etc. (Also, to be clear, “daemon” as an importantly-separate thing from “demon” is very silly and I have no truck with it.)

The collective term for demons, devils, and yugoloths is of course “fiends.”

The lawful neutral outsider race has already been covered in my previous post: that’s the fae. Inhumanly perfect spirits obsessed with rules, oaths, codes-of-honor, etc. Dangerous, and certainly not benevolent, but also not inimical to the flourishing of mortals in the way that fiends are. Hard to understand, as all outsiders must on some level be, but probably easier to deal with than any other spirits if you know the right codes and protocols. Probably we play down the “capricious nature spirit” thing and play up the bit where they have courts, monarchs, diplomatic ties to Heaven and Hell, etc.

The chaotic neutral race should be...well, something better than the slaadi, that’s for sure. “They’re infinitely variable and unpredictable, except that they’re all magic frogs who speak in word salad.” Gee. Useful for storytelling, that. I don’t have any super-brilliant ideas here (and am open to suggestions), but I have what I believe to be a good-enough idea: genies. Proud, wild, tempestuous spirits who treasure their own freedom and dignity above all else. Binding them can be a road to great power, since they’ll do pretty much anything to escape, but it’s also unbelievably risky. You can make up some cute lore about their anarchic ad-hoc anything-goes society.

I’d like to use “angels” as the collective term for good-aligned outsiders, the equivalent of “fiends.” We could go with “celestials,” I guess, but it’s awkward that the LG plane specifically is (sometimes) called Celestia, and really “angels” has a connotative punch like nothing else.

Lawful good gets archons. Yay archons. Tiered choirs, divine armies, holy holy holy, the whole shebang. The fluff for these guys could stand to be fleshed out some -- as far as I know it hasn’t been touched since the 3.5e Book of Exalted Deeds, and that version was kinda lame -- but there’s like infinite amounts of Christian angelology lore on which to draw, so I’m not worried.

Neutral good needs something better than guardinals, since “benevolent animal dudes” really had no spiritual resonance at all. Fortunately we can do some conceptual repurposing here. I think we can just grab the beings that D&D currently calls “angels,” start calling them all “devas” -- even the planetars and solars, which I guess become “planetary devas” and “solar devas” -- and stick them all in NG. No one really uses them as all-purpose divine servants anyway, as far as I can tell. They are beings of pure benevolence, protectors and guardians and healers, etc. etc. Possibly we call the NG plane “Celestia,” to fit with the celestial-objects theme of the devas, and just go with “Heaven” for the LG plane.

And then we come to chaotic good, which is definitely the hardest row to hoe. CG has a very important spot on the Great Wheel, the CG outsiders need to have something akin to the narrative power of the demons and devils and archons, and...I just don’t think there’s any pre-existing thing that fits the bill. “Chaotic good” is not the kind of idea that has been traditionally associated with mighty spiritual mysteries, which is probably why all the existing CG outsider races suck so much. (Seriously, as far as I can tell, it’s always either “we’re elf knights who fight for freedom! but, like, planar!” or “uh, we’re spirits of art and beauty, I guess, sorta?”) We’re going to have to develop these guys from scratch.

Rather than trying to come up with an “archetypically CG outlook” or something, I think it would make sense to start with an image of their world and society. This is a good, lovely, beneficent version of the Abyss. This is a place of tremendous diversity, where outsider lords carve out their own domains according to their own idiosyncratic specifications. Which means you have, like, a million conflicting little paradises each defined by its own vision. (But not, like, at war, the way demon lords always are, we’re all very Good here. Just...different from each other.) It probably adds up to a sort of hipster’s-vision-of-the-big-city vibe. You imagine a race of cosmic Manic Pixie Dream Girls, essentially, always flowing into and out of each other’s circles, descending to the Prime Material Plane in order to experience delights / inspire greatness / find adoring mortal fans who will validate their coolness.

I think it would be a mistake to give these guys a single strong visual theme, the way that the guardinals are “animal people” and the eladrin are “pretty elves.” They’re a menagerie of weird-but-beautiful monsters, the way that demons are a menagerie of weird-but-ugly monsters. The race needs a name, but right now I don’t have a good one.

For true neutral outsiders, I think we can just go with elementals and call it a day. They’re mindless! They do as they’re commanded, unless they don’t, in which case they have incredibly simplistic urges like “burn” or “flow!”

The in-between planes -- y’know, Gehenna, the Beastlands, Acheron, etc. -- are cool, in some vague theoretical sense, and I don’t think we should scrap them entirely. But I also think it’s a mistake to try and give them their own full-fledged native outsider races, to pretend that they’re going to have the same depth of inherent character as the main eight outer planes, etc. Instead, I suspect it’s best to use them as divine domains. Because they don’t have powerful native outsider races, they’ve all been taken over by gods. Exactly which gods live on which ones is a matter of your particular setting’s theology, but it makes a lot of intuitive sense to say “these are the places where you’d expect to find gods by default, a god who lives on one of the main eight planes is doing something kinda weird and probably has a close relationship with the local outsiders.”

#roleplaying #d&d

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dnd4elove · 6 years

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Light elves, dark elves and racism, my thoughts

Disclaimers: I’m basing most of this on 4E lore as that’s what we’re playing. I’m a white girl from Norway, so I’ll try and stay in my lane while talking about this topic.

Alright, so let’s talk about the main 3 elf races we have in 4E, I’ll not go into the more obscure sub-races today. There’s the fancy-pants, the hippies and the evil man hating ones.

The backstory goes something like this:

Long ago there was one united race of elves that lived in the Faywild. It was all good, the elves were chaotic, amazing and masters of magic, nature and interpersonal drama. They were ruled by 3 gods, Sehanine, Corellon and Araushnee. They also had a lot of drama between them, but everyone assumed it was all good natured. That was until Araushnee decided that things weren’t going her way and it would be better if she was the head of the gods and all the elves. She convinced some of the elven people to join her and together they tried to overthrow the remaining elves and gods.

It didn’t end well, they were defeated and Corellon, having the temper of a boiling tea-kettle, cursed the elves that had dared to rebel. It was a three-fold curse that drove them away from the light and they were named Drow after the elven word or trator. Araushnee became their patron, taking on the name of Lolth after messing around with demons and moving to the Abyss. Anyway, the curse, it went something like this:

They will never know peace

Their eyes will hurt in sunlight

Their skin will be dark

WAIT. What was that last one? YIKES 😬 How very Mormon. The goodly elves are light skin and the evil ones are dark. Doesn’t help that the drow originally had dark brown skin, at least they changed it to black/grey quickly enough.

The drow are one of the most popular races in D&D and with good reason, they have a sweet aesthetic and an interesting history and culture that is fun to explore as a drow player or an outsider. And whether you personally like them or not, I don’t think they’re going away any time soon.

Then there’s the Eladrin, it says that they can have human ranges of skin colours, but that they tend to light skin and that they always have straight hair. They are the high society, smart and fancy elves, the masters of intrigue and drama.

Lastly there’s the elves, the group that left the Faywild and settled in the natural world after the war. they became the woodsmen, tribal folk and druids. To the credit of the 4E creators, they did specify that elves tend to have brown skin, or specifically, brown hues. This is progress from previous editions where elves were specifically only light skinned (I blame Tolkien), but I feel it’s a bit um...on the nose...that the light skinned Eladrin are smart and educated ones and the brown skinned elves are the “noble savages”

But even then, more or less all of the official art from WotC shows elves being light skinned or at least not darker then light brown. I even checked the 5E books, since they have been very good about diversity, but they seemed to be suffering from the same issues.

So here’s my re-interpretation or headcanon or homebrew or whatever of the story:

The original race of elves had all kinds of looks and skills and each individual could re-define themselves at-will in both looks, gender and identity (This is eluded to in other editions anyway).

The drow were changed to be colourless, not dark, that way we can still have that white on grey aesthetic we all love, but without the racism.

So here’s a superficial overview of how I imagine the elves in my settings:

Eladrin

The most colourful of the bunch, both in style and complexion. Many will say that they are the most similar to the original race, but that’s only partially true and only when it comes to looks. There is no reason that a race that could be anything, would not churn out members with dark skin or curly hair. Unless of course you think that light skin and straight hair is inherently more beautiful? I think their complexion would be colourful with hair-colours ranging from blonde to dark brown and red, sometimes even going into metallic colours like gold and copper, black hair being unusual, but not unheard of.

Eladrin who’s family is part of a seasonal court or who joins a court, tends to take on colours of that season.

Elves

Sometimes known as wood-elves, travelled to the natural world and settled as the guardians of nature and the spirit world. They took on the colours of the earth and forest, their skin colours ranging from a light tan to the colour of rich dark earth, some even have a bronze tinge to their skin. Their hair range from light brown to black, blonde being very rare and they are the only elves that can be born with natural green hair.

Drow

As mentioned before, the drow are colourless, they have white hair and grey skin ranging from light to ebony black, this also gives some variation to the most homogenous of the elven races. The most common eye colour is red, perhaps a symbol of Lolth’s gift of dark-vision (in truth it’s a hold-over from the old editions where everything with dark-vision had glowing red eyes).

I also imagine that drow are the elves that has the most sexual dimorphism, meaning that it’s easier to tell the difference between men and women because they put a lot emphasis on gender/sex unlike their elven and eladrin counterparts who prefer a more gender-neutral look and style, so that difference is brought on by sexual selection.

And while we’re at it, let’s kill the idea that drow are dressed skimpily and overly sexual. It’s problematic enough that the only major and official matriarchal society in D&D is super evil, let’s not equate female sexuality to evil on top of that, that’s a trope that needs to die in all of media. In fact if you live in a society where people regularly assassinate and poisons each other, you probably want more clothes...

This turned out longer then I was planning, so yeah, these are some of my thoughts on the subject, I hope I have explained myself well enough, I would love some feedback if you have it.

#D&D #D&D 4e #elves #eladrin #drow

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fantasyimmortal · 6 years

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Review of "Satisfy me"

Since I said so, here’s my detailed review of the positive things I picked up from your fanfiction. All of what I am saying is really just my personal opinion and what are my likes on it. But maybe it helps you a little and makes u happy too, I’d be glad, if I could support u with my feedback. But I am not a professional writer nor professional reviewer myself, I just know the basics and stuff from the time I wrote fanfics myself. It’s up to you, if you wanna publish the following or just answer me in private. So let’s get going:

+ The wording:

I wanna start with the obvious: The general writing style. I as a person who rarely reads anything and is hard to get hooked up on something, I have to say that this fanfic has the unique ability to make me keep reading. The way the sentences are phrased, very diversely that it doesn’t get boring. But I guess that’s the experience and practice, since I looked though ur Master List, you seem to be a Writer for a little longer already. But yeah, I personally think the choice of words is interesting, keeps the reader reading and makes hungry for wanting to know more and that’s always what keeps a story going.

+ The Story Idea:

Personally I am a huge fan of demon lore and everything surrounding it. So the first glimpse I got of the basic idea got my interest already. I have to say the lore is worked out so well, basing on real life christian religion – if i am not mistaken – that I can learn a lot more about it throughout the story. It gives the story depth and makes it tangible. I am simply in love with the concept of Saeran and Luciel being the demon princes of hell and the supporting characters surrounding them. I really dig how u adapted the other characters and made your own as well, fitting in and to the story. The dark fantasy concept is just amazing, since it’s already of my liking.

+ The first few Chapters:

I have to admit, I was startled at first by the approach of the first few chapters, but now that I gasped the full story so far, I have to say the first few chapters are the strongest, in my opinion. Not only come they off strong by their wording, but interpreting it makes oneself see, why. It gives the exposition to the character development. It gives actually the first hints of what’s going to happen. It also gives something to compare, which measures character development. I am glad those first few chapters got me hooked up to read further, to get the whole image this far.

+ How the Characters are written:

Saying so already in the previous point, but pointing it out again: The character development, especially for Saeran. I could clearly see his progress in changing over the story so far and it really amazed me. I love comparing character to how they were in the beginning of a story and where they are standing now. It feels impossible that a character would do in the very beginning, what he does later on, and that shows the growth of said character really well. I am exited for how much further he’s going to change throughout the rest of the story. Because the development done so far, was a natural and reasonable transition. It wasn’t forced, just for the sake of development. That’s what makes it so great.

But not only he changed, but MC as well. But for her I think the strong points are, which a lot of people would probably point out: She is not the damsel in distress. She herself is a strong character, knowing how to talk and act on her own. One surprising point of how this MC is written, was also the inclusion of her mother. That took a really dark turn, but it compliments the story so well and gives it just even more depth.

Then, the inclusion of OC’s, they add up greatly with the already established cast. Also an obvious pick, but Ricward, especially in the latest chapter, is written so fitting for the story and gives a great contrast, to how most characters are portrayed (rather hectic and dramatic, while he is more on the calm and thoughtful side). He has his own charms and is a memorable character.

+ The Humor:

Most of the humor bases on sarcasm, tied to cursing, at least that’s the impression I got. And this humor is simply the best humor, in my opinion. It entertains me a lot, since it’s exactly my kind of humor. It’s apparent in scenes where it’s fitting for it to be. It loosens up the otherwise tight plot and scenes and shows off another side of the story. Again I have to say, it gives it a certain sense of “reality”. And a little breath from all the stress which is otherwise omnipresent. It gives the reader a short break to be ready for the next big thing.

+ The approach on the topic of Sexuality in the story:

I wish to be especially honest with this one, I myself am not that interested in the sexual part of the story, sex is simply not not my thing. And that’s why I think I might be over interpreting with this one. I guess the scenes were planned to pleasure the reader, while I myself have a more observing and analyzing look on those scenes. So my observations thus far are, that the story element of how sexuality is portrait, tries to teach something by comparing the very beginning to where we are right now:

At first the rough sex, i’d already call it rape, is presented as a simple and daily thing demons do: Not caring for the other part during it and just using the other person for their own pleasures, not even caring of the person gave their consent. It’s portrait as: How things are in hell. And exactly that motive is still present later on again in the story (the whole arc with Dante so far). But it also shows the development Saeran goes through. He is still a perverted demon to this point, but he started caring for MC while they were having Sex and not only fucks around for fun anymore. It’s a strong point, that you made clear, that he can only fuck her, if she really gives her consent, personally I think that’s one of the most important aspects of it.

Where it really showed, that sex became something more meaningful to him, was the scene, where he showed MC how to masturbate correctly. Present in the same story arc, as the other extreme with Dante and even Saerans thoughts on what Dante was doing to that demon woman. A direct comparing of those two extremes presented in a way that it has a huge impact on the reader. Hands down, that writing deserves a round of applause.

+ The fluff:

Contrasting to the sexual part, I enjoy and love the rather fluffy and lovely parts of the fanfiction. It’s not a silly, corny romance how it’s presented in the media all over, that makes us the viewer feel rather awkward watching. No, this one has spice. That makes it really unique, it keeps the rough features, which are mostly presented in the sex scenes, but tones them down, that it becomes adorable without being cheesy or embarrassing. In my opinion it’s the perfect way to show a romance in that setting. But I in general really dig this kind of stuff, so this one really reflects my own opinion on it.

+ The scenery:

From the castle in hell, to the setting on earth and especially the clothes they wear. It’s simply my aesthetics. I mentioned it already, when I stated my opinion to the story idea, but I am really amazed by the whole setting. The fanfic gives me a clear image in my head on how everything looks. I know this is more on the interpreting side of things, but what’s established in the story as locations and surroundings is stunning and amazed me to no end. One particular thing I kept in mind as stunningly beautiful – which I might gonna draw fanart of: Mc’s midnight blue dress. Which sadly only survived half a chapter, before Saeran decided to stRip it off her.

Now in the very end, I have a few questions left, I’d like to ask.

Starting with a strange one:

How many pages is the fanfic so far?

I want it for my own comparison, since I mentioned in the very beginning, I am not really someone who reads that much.

Then the next question:

How many more chapters did u plan for the future? If you can’t answer that, maybe a rough calculation or a percentage, on how much u wrote so far?

And my last question, which is also personal interest, to review your writing a little bit more for myself:

Did you plan everything till now out from the very beginning? And what are things you added later on? Like a quick idea, inspiration of some sort, you only thought off during writing?

Tied to that: Did you plan on making this such a long fanfiction from the beginning on? Or did the plot and everything around it just developed on and on and on? My guess if that would be the case, it’s because of the good feedback of your readers.

That’s all from me, for now. I can say, I am exited to read more, I look forwards to every update. I am glad I got hooked up with this fanfiction. And if I get to it, I’ll draw some fanart to it. I already made a little sketch inspired by it. But so far, pls keep writing. U are an amazing writer. And thanks a lot for reading all of this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Reply is under the cut ^^ <3

OH Wow!!! I’m in awe at how much you’ve reviewed!!! I’ll be honest, I was a bit nervous about what you would say ^^;;. I know you didn’t write the negative (which I appreciate it!!) but I hope the positive outweighed it!! This review means a lot to me!!! One of the negatives I could maybe guess though, is the “______” I put in my writing since it has come up before. If that’s one of them, the reason I do is because MC or Y/N is cringy to me and I absolutely loathe using it. >_<

I actually only started writing fanfiction January of last year so it hasn’t been too long for me. I’ve tried to write like someone is watching a movie, I watch scenes in my head and try to portray them into words. I’m not expert and I know I need improvement with sentence structure and editing, which I’ve actually thought about going back to school for because I would like some day to get published.

How many pages is the fanfic so far? I didn’t start putting the chapters on the same word document until chapter 31. But chapter 31-50 are 48 pages on Word. There is 70,423 total words currently in the fic.

How many more chapters did u plan for the future? At it stands I think Satisfy only has about 10 chapters left, depending on how I get to the main plot points. But I’ve already been bouncing ideas off my friends for a sequel because of the ending I have planned.

Did you plan on making this such a long fanfiction from the beginning on? I’m going to answer this one first because I NEVER thought that this fic would grow to what it has! I’m still humbled on how many people enjoy and love it. I thought that it would be a WIP that I would abandon because readers would absolutely hate it! When I started to get so much positive feedback and interest I was getting I had the urge to continue.

Did you plan everything till now out from the very beginning? I did not. I had a few things planned at the beginning and sometimes I just let my mind wander and my fingers follow just to see what I would come up with. An example is Ricward. I had planned to have him in one or two chapters, and having his appearance at a minimum. As I was writing him though, I wanted him to show up more and more for the calm balance he brought. I have a backstory for him but haven’t shared it yet because it could be a spoiler on who exactly he really is.

Zophiel is another one. I haven’t decided yet if he will show up again right now but he will be in the sequel and will find out more about him. As I’m writing the final chapters he may very well show up if I feel he needs to make an entrance to help tie the story together. I didn’t want to have the typical everyone in the RFA and wanted to give the story some things extra, which brought out the OCs, it also allowed me to be more creative.

All the ideas I’ve had before writing aren’t set in stone because they could always change once I sit down and actually start writing. Getting from idea A to idea B could end up changing what I want to happen in plot point B (if that makes sense ^^;;)

At the beginning I didn’t plan on having other demons or torture and ended up researching both for hours trying to give some accuracy to my writing. With the scene being in Hell I thought that torture would be a good touch. I also wanted to get practice in writing different scenes for any future fanfictions I may write.

Thank you again for this review and putting in the time to write it lovely!! I would also LOVE to see some fanart. I fangirl all the time when I see fanarts!! To inspire anyone to want to draw something is such an amazing feeling!!!

#Satisfy Me #Review #mizumi-kahago #fantasy responds #submission

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theharellan · 6 years

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RP POSITIVITY MEME

DAY 14: FREE DAY!

so this whole week i’ve kept myself from mentioning joly when possible. i promo joly on my dash every day. my very existence is a joly promo. it was mostly a way to make sure that i gave other people attention, and also b/c i saw the last day was a free day and wanted to use it to write about how much i love joly’s characters.

if it weren’t for joly i doubt i’d still be here. that’s not to say that i didn’t love rping solas beyond what i have with joly, but after my hiatus it was the desire to rp with joly again that really brought me back. and i’m so thankful for that b/c it’s allowed me to meet ppl like merc and lisa and kae, ppl who either weren’t around or i didn’t know before. also just when i was having a rough time last year and whenever i’ve had a rough time since then joly’s been there for me. they’re a really special person, who deserves even more kind words written about them than their characters do. but if i keep going i’ll probably make myself cry.

suffice to say if you like my blog, then you have joly to thank. not just for me being here, but how their ocs have shaped my solas. i cannot recommend joly’s blogs enough. they don’t have as much time as they did to write, but it doesn’t make them any less dedicated to their characters as someone who posts a dozen things a day.

before i get to their actual blogs, i want to talk about the npcs or characters that no longer have rp blogs.

first, deshanna. i’ve loved how they made a mother who is flawed and sympathetic, and who i don’t feel 100% good about solas disliking her in modern. it’s my secret desire to be able to rp in a thread where she’s npc’d one day, either in modern or batb. next, layne. what a piece of shit. i don’t know TOO much about layne, and i’m in this position where i want to know more but also i dread it. hoping one day solas and mio can shank him. and then, june. june had a blog (and may again one day??) and he was a fuckin hermit mamma’s boy that was too boring for fen to want to have anything to do with. joly’s recently been toying with some ideas for his character that i think only strengthen what they have, and i’m excited.

@ancientimpudence -

mio is petty. mio is mean. mio is stand-offish. mio is loyal. mio is driven. mio is honest. i love mio.

if you want a character who is flawed and not always nice, you’ll love mio. they’re a really good example of how you can make a character not always be a very pleasant person, but still get plenty of rp mileage off of them and develop meaningful relationships. how two characters’ relationship can somehow be incredibly deep and yet broken. i love what joly and i have built for mio and solas, two ancient friends who aren’t always the best friends.

i could really talk about about their relationship. solas goes through a period where he becomes very empathetic and in-tune with the problems of everyone around him, but mio’s somehow always escape him. i love the gap, and i love how it’s both not his fault b/c mio hides how they feel, but also he needs to do better by them. i love how mio wants what’s best for solas and their cause, while simultaneously suggesting things that actually wouldn’t be best for solas, because mio isn’t omnipotent and is also, to an extent, still trying to keep solas as he was.

i love how mio doesn’t like ian but is still there to help him. i love how mio expresses themself in ways not everyone understands. i love how modern mio has purse dogs and brings vher food b/c they spent all weekend playing the sims.

and vher / mio?? one of those ships that just kinda happened. one of the best things about talking to joly about characters is how often two just kinda cling to one another. vher is aro and can’t return the romantic feelings mio feels for them (and open enough to be accepting when mio finds romantic love elsewhere) but they still care for mio so much. everything about mio that i listed above, even the petty and vain stuff, vher loves. also sometims vher decides they wanna kiss mio and i can only imagine what it does to the poor child.

basically, what i’m getting at here is, joly lets mio be flawed but also shows how those flaws can still lead to positive interactions. joly lets mio be unadmirable at times, but still likeable and lovable. joly introduced some extra diversity in background to the rebellion and i’m eternally thankful tbh.

@betterthanmaps -

harding is one of those characters everyone adores, and so it makes sense that joly, one of the most adorable ppl on the planet, chose to write her. i love seeing characters with stable and normal backstories. harding is just such a steady influence, and i’ve loved seeing her contrasted with the sad backstories most canons and ocs possess. which i wanna be clear isn’t a criticism of sad backstories! i merely mean that it’s also nice seeing variety. not everyone has had a past that has made them cruel or kind, some people were raised by caring parents and lived simple lives until they heard the call to adventure. those people are just as interesting and worthy of telling stories about.

joly’s harding reminds me somewhat of tolkien’s hobbits, i suppose, now that i’m writing this out. and they’re some of my fave characters in literature. only w/ harding we also get fun dragon age dwarfy lore-- someone who is as un-dwarfy as varric but not quite so loud about it and we get actual queer representation.

@spiritualjourneys -

i adore spirits? i do not adore how the fandom treats spirits. things like treating human cole as superior to spirit cole, rather than a person making different choices, both paths making them happy, even if one is for reasons we can’t all understand. pinning everything wrong with anders in da2 on justice. assuming lord woolsey, an innocent spirit-ram who has done nothing but help, has always been a rage demon (even tho the ways in which he has been shown to help the family that adopted him aren’t typical rage-related qualities) but ANYWAY.

the point is, spirits are given something of a raw deal by the fandom and are almost always judged by their ability to conform to human standards. joly’s spirit multi is fuckin fantastic and making spirits different and complex and alien, while also familiar and very much people rather than set pieces in the stories of others. though all of them started out as npcs created by either joly (love, sincerity), myself (joy), or bioware (wisdom) it took joly no time at all to establish their stories. love and joy especially...

what i appreciate about love is the path they took to get where they are. how they weren’t always love, how they focus upon a specific kind of love, how they can’t always see when love is best working past. though i’ve only just started rping peace, i’m in love (get it) with the dynamic the two of them have formed. how they balance one another out and keep one another from straying too far into their own interests, and thereby corrupting themselves. it’s a dynamic that i wasn’t expecting at all when i made peace as an au to my zenyatta blog, but i think that’s the amazing thing about writing with joly. something falls into place and then it grabs you and the idea just won’t let go.

and as for joy, it’s probably the least developed of the spirits, having no form that’s recognisably alive nevermind a person. but it demonstrates well, i think, how “humanity” in elvhenan wasn’t defined by shape. when solas says he dislikes when people see him as just a pair of pointed ears, and that he doesn’t necessarily identify much with modern elves, the idea is expressing multiple things. one of them, i think, is that being an elf sometimes meant being a physical body with pointed ears, but sometimes you could just be bubbles and you’d still be considered a valid member of elvhen society. joy doesn’t exist as we do. joy forgets, joy prefers to never touch the earth, and it exists in a state of cycles to keep itself from becoming something like despair. joly depicts the beauty and the drawbacks of existing in this state and i’m just??? so glad they decided to write joy. b/c they do it more justice than i ever could.

@paragoninexile -

tam’s new blog isn’t fully set up but i wanna talk about her anyway. tam is a good hero and a good person, and in many ways sort of made to be a hero. when i found out about tam i was rly excited simply b/c she was very much like my warden, only with so much more care and thought put into her that now she’s basically replaced my canon warden in my heart.

i think my favourite thing about tam is how much of a front she puts up for everyone. crowning bhelen, even if it meant the death of another father figure. recruiting loghain, even if it meant losing her friend or possibly lover. it shows that even neutral good heroes still have to make decisions that could be considered ruthlessly practical. bhelen is not necessarily the better choice morally, especially not as an aeducan (especially especially not as an aeducan who doesn’t kill trian). i imagine tam knows that crowning him will have dire consequences not just for harrowmont, but the entire harrowmont line. she does it anyway, not because she wants to, but because for orzammar it’s the best choice.

i’ve loved finally having a chance to write one of my fave dragon age ships: gorim/aeducan. i have a weakness for ships who have been together since they were only young, and the progression they take in the au is so good?? being able to find freedom for their love in a life that is literally killing tamar, and the reason they only get 12 or so happy years together rather than 50. but tam is so good that i’m honestly proud to be able to give her those twelve years with gorim. one day i’m gonna make joly hurt w/ thoughts about the kid gorim adopts after tam dies and who he tells them all about. 8)

@cadashsmash -

cadri i think was the first joly character i interacted with, though i believe i remember ian from way way back when i tried rping merrill and couldn’t quite get a foothold like i did with solas and thora.

i’m in love with dwarves u all should know this, so ofc i’m in love with cadri. i love how rough around the edges she is, how she tries to do the right thing, and how doing so can lead to some messed up shit like killing abelas. the work joly’s done with reaver lore is perfect, working with how dirty and raw the specialisation is without making it too hardcore for an inquisitor to ever hope to specialise in it (stop assuming all reavers are cannibals fandom smh). one of my fave threads on thora continues to be the post-battle thread where both are recovering from the drawbacks of their own specialisations and clash because of them. it’s just a really unique idea that is what makes writing with joly so... rounded? like i’m never just writing one thing with joly. they push me as a writer in the best possible way.

overall cadri is just a rly excellent character who, like tam and harding, do credit to dwarves that the series doesn’t always. i’ve loved exploring how differently her and thora react to their position in life, i’ve loved seeing cadri’s anger or indifference towards dwarven society. it’s so valid and realistic and good. i’ve loved exploring the specific ways in which she bucks the presumptions solas has about dwarves, how even in universes where she’s not inquisitor her individuality is still nothing he expects from her kind and how she changes him anyway. i also will always be fond of this being their friendship song.

cadri: hey solas, what d’you call a flower before it opens? solas: a bud. cadri: I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BUD. solas: UGHH.

@dalishfreckles -

it’s really hard to not write a post just about ian, honestly. all of joly’s characters are special to me, but i won’t deny ian is my favourite and has a very important place in my heart. if i were to truthfully answer those top 5 fave characters questions, ian would be on there no question.

as someone who goes through some of the same struggles as ian, he’s inspirational. seeing him struggle to keep surviving, to keep loving, to keep helping even when everything inside him is screaming to stop. i love seeing him make mistakes, honest ones or ones born of anxiety. b/c anxiety is more than just hating yourself or having trouble talking to people, although that is very real. sometimes anxiety can cause you to project some really terrible things onto people, things that aren’t really fair to them.

when i see ian doing things like... projecting his own feelings of worthlessness onto solas, assuming he must think the same rather than giving solas a chance to explain? it’s realistic, and it’s not good. it’s trying to pull people into the same destructive game you do to yourself. it’s also realistic, esp since in the thread i’m referring to solas fucked up and has shit to apologise for. idk, it’s just really comforting to see ian pull the same shit that i do, but knowing he’s still a good person and that i love him is an act of self love.

ian’s an important character for so many reasons, that i could probably write a 20 page thesis on him and his development / how much he means to me. i’m proud of him so much. i’m proud when he finds the strength to tease solas, i’m proud when he stands up for himself, even when he’s standing up against the people he loves. especially when, tbh. how as he grows he can see inara’s faults but doesn’t hate her for them, and tries to help her, when he’s under no obligation to. how he still tries to connect with solas after solas coldly brushes him off the first time ian admonishes him. and i love how joly shows it’s not easy. none of it is. and that ian has to keep choosing to be good, it makes everything he does that much more meaningful.

finally, ian isn’t a hero, necessarily. he’s not the sort of person people tell stories about, which is one reason i love the solas/ian pairing so much. it’s really all about the person for solas, and ian is just so much about what solas loves about people. it’s not always about battles and heroes, sometimes it’s just about a person who has the patience and love in them to make a tree grow in the middle of a desert alienage. sometimes the most wonderful things about people are the little, radical things they do for themselves and those they love rather than how they change the world.

this has gotten to be very long, and probably rambling, but to be fair to me this is like two weeks of joly-positivity i’ve been holding in.

i’ll probably be doing one more free day tomorrow, even if today is the last day, just to do a v general positive post for those i follow. but i wanted to take at least one day to credit the person who has inspired me with their words and characters. like. this was just their characters? i didn’t even get a chance to go into the ways joly’s prose shines, how it’s descriptive and yet never difficult to comprehend. how many different types of plots they’re here for.

but to make a long story short, joly is an incredibly talented writer. i’ve said this before, but i can look back on things i’ve written years ago with joly and still like what i wrote (as well as what they wrote but that should go w/o saying), which is a rare feeling, simply b/c joly lets me access the best writer in me. we often here in the rpc use “muse” as a shorthand for “character we write that inspires us” and i’ve found it a difficult word to rly use-- simply b/c joly and their characters are as much my muses as my own characters. at least in the sense that thinking about them inspires me to write.

tl;dr- pls follow and write with joly. b/c the only thing i love as much as writing with joly is reading what they write with other people.

#[ sure do hate this tumblr glitch ]#( positivity )#dalishfreckles #( ooc )#rpc positivity week

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yeahbrothergaming-blog · 7 years

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OOPS It's Almost February but Here's My GOTY Lists!

Game of the Year: 10. Forza Horizon 3 I typically don't play racing games any more. For me, the genre peaked at Burnout 3: Takedown, and unless we are talking about Mario Kart 64, most racing games don't occupy a big piece of my gaming heart. Then, E3 2015 happened, and I was immediately mesmerized by Forza Horizon 3. I had only played Forza Motorsport 6, and neither of the other Horizon games, but the presentation given for FH3 immediately jumped out at me. I was intrigued by the diverse racing areas in Australia, and then I was hooked when I saw the race against the helicopter. What I saw was some of the insanity I loved about Burnout 3, along with the graphical prowess of more modern racers. Thankfully, FH3 is everything I loved about its E3 presentation: incredible graphics and the diverse landscape of Australian beaches, cities, jungles, and desert lands, driving that is the perfect balance of arcadey-fun and sim-realism, a great sense of speed, and an attitude that doesn't take itself too seriously. It is the first racing game in a long time that I would say is one of my favorite games of the year, and I also believe it is one of the ten best games of the year. Also -- the soundtrack is one of the best soundtracks in any game in a long time, which was another fun surprise about this wonderful game. 9. Doom The original Doom was the first video game I have any memory of in my life. I was hanging out with my dad at the local college activities center, and I remember catching someone play it on a demo-computer that was set up in one of the breezeway areas in the building. I was not yet at the age where I could play video games, but the memory of watching this dude with crazy guns kill crazy monsters has stuck with me. Through the years since, I have kept up with Doom as a series, even though Doom 3 is the only Doom game I have put any significant time into before Doom 2016. From what I can understand, Doom 2016 recaptures the feeling of playing OG Doom back in the day -- over-the-top insane action at a pace that never lets up from the get-go. From the very first seconds of Doom 2016, you are charged with killing everything that gets in your way, often as fast as you can. This is clearly not a new gaming concept, but D16 makes it as much fun as it can be. There are a lot of great shooters out this year, but (of those I played), none come close to matching the intensity and balls-to-the-wall feel of D16. This is your favorite shooter's favorite shooter, and is some of the best Video Game™ fun to be had in 2016 and beyond. 8. Inside Inside is quite a thing. The follow up to Playdead's Limbo (2010), it takes a lot of what made Limbo unique and fun and improves on it. Mechanically, Inside takes the time-tested gameplay of Running To The Right and makes it dangerous and exciting in a way few games do well. You are not quite sure what you are running to (or from?) for most of the game, but the world-building - usually in the background - keeps you interested from start to finish. The puzzles are mostly challenging, but I never got stuck, which helped the game keep a steady momentum throughout. It is a very dark game, both graphically and in subject matter, but Inside uses color in bursts to help punctuate certain moments. I am not super sure what really "happened" in Inside, but the story is ambiguous enough to allow for multiple interpretations, which I like, as well as a hidden ending if you are into that kind of thing. The last section of the game is not one I want to spoil, but is without quarter one of the most insane sections of a game I played all year, and is one of the best watercooler gaming moments in 2016. 7. Overcooked Overcooked is a game I watched a lot of in 2016, and then finally got my hands on in the waning days of the year. I've never had so much fun messing up in a game maybe ever as I do in Overcooked, but I feel equally as satisfied when everything goes off without a hitch. The basic premise of Overcooked is hilarious: the apocalypse happens, and The Beast arrives to destroy everything. The only way to stop the apocalypse from happening is to cook well enough to appease The Beast. Naturally, you fail, and you are sent back in time to work on your skills of "cooking and co-operation" in order to be better when The Beast comes back. The premise alone is worthy of any top-10 list, but the gameplay cements it. There are always two to three too many jobs per player - you'll need to grab ingredients, chop ingredients, use a fryer, cook in a pot or an oven, clean dirty dishes, place clean plates, and turn in completed orders in time, all while avoiding obstacles, moving portions of stages, certain death by lava, or by setting the arena on fire due to literal over-cooking. I say "arena" instead of kitchen, because even though you start in kitchens, the stages progress to pirate ships, moving vehicles, icy platforms, haunted houses, and space stations. You rarely do the same thing twice in Overcooked, and the stages are short enough that each play session is guaranteed to be varied, fast, and furious. The only downside I found is that it does not have online play -- Overcooked is the kind of game where it is certainly best with local play, but I wish I still had the option. That being said, Overcooked is a riot, and some of the best multiplayer of the year. 6. Batman: The Telltale Series Batman: The Animated Series is the first superhero-related property I remember in my life. I would watch this show every day, and I have memories of this classic cartoon before I have memories of most other things in my life. I've been a Batman fan ever since - so any new Batman game is going to certainly have my attention. Telltale's interpretations on The Walking Dead and Fables (via The Wolf Among Us) were interesting and compelling enough that I found myself eagerly awaiting each chapter, and Telltale's Batman is no exception. Traditional elements of the Batman narrative are flipped on their head, making this version of Batman a unique and risky vision of the Batman universe. Character origins are modified, and some characters end up being completely different from other, more standard portrayals, but Telltale pulls off each of these tweaks in a way that I found satisfying. I do wish that Telltale would revamp their engine, as I experienced some pretty wonky graphical glitches, and the frame rate never seems to be too interested in staying smooth, but this was a fun ride through a bold new telling of the Batman story - one that I will be excited to continue in future installments. 5. Stardew Valley Stardew Valley is a game that came out of nowhere earlier this year. Developed by one person, it took the PC gamingsphere by storm. Since I don't play on PC, I had to wait until December to finally play it on PS4 - and I'm glad I did. The game is a farming and relationship sim, mixed with light dungeon crawling and resource gathering. At the start of the game, your character receives a letter from your grandfather with the deed to the family farm. After toiling away at a boring desk job at a big corporation, the character decides to finally move into the family farm and start a new life. The game is split into days, months, and seasons, with a myriad of gameplay options each day. Some days you might spend clearing space in your farm, others you might spend tending to your crops, and others you might spend in the local town, getting to know each townperson. The relationship-development in the game is fairly shallow, but each character has a distinct personality, and it is fun getting to know them. You can go fishing, learn recipes for cooking, or try to reach a new level in the mine. The only combat options in the game are within the mine, but it is never super challenging. This is part of the appeal of Stardew Valley for me -- it is never traditionally "challenging," and is instead quite laid back. I didn't know I needed a game that is built for the player to take it at their own pace. I found myself continually drawn to play through "just one more day," while also feeling super relaxed. Aesthetically, Stardew Valley evokes old 16-bit era games, but with the best lighting I've ever seen in a 2D game. Stardew Valley is the positive game I needed in 2016, and I can't wait to continue my new life as a farmer-fisher-Casanova-dungeon master in the days to come. 4. Dark Souls III Back in 2009, I picked up a little game called Demon's Souls, and it changed my gaming life. I had never been challenged in an action-RPG in quite that fashion, and it had some of the best combat I had ever played in any game. Two Dark Souls games (and a Bloodborne) later, Dark Souls III finally dropped, and it is the Souls game of my dreams. The basic idea of the game is the same - traverse through an extremely dangerous world battling the toughest enemies and the meanest bosses, all the while upgrading your gear and skills to become the strongest warrior in the world. Bloodborne (the Lovecraftian cousin of the Souls series) sped up the game in a major way, and DS3 has injected a bit of that speed into its traditionally slower-paced combat. The co-op mechanic has also simplified from previous games (another lift from Bloodborne), and is how I experienced most of the game. Some of the most satisfying moments in gaming this year for me were battling bosses alongside my friend and having some serious skin-of-our-teeth victories. I am not as on top of the Souls lore as I would like to be, but I did recognize a lot of neat throwbacks to previous games in the series. According to Hidetaka Miyazaki, the director of Dark Souls & DS3, this will be the last game in the series. If this is indeed true, then the series has gone out on a high note with one of the best action-RPGs ever made. 3. Uncharted 4 Some of my favorite movies growing up were the Indiana Jones movies. I always wanted a good video game version of those movies (emphasis on good), and the Uncharted series has been that for me for the last few years. I loved the first Uncharted, and then was blown away by Uncharted 2. Uncharted 3 was still awesome, but it didn't quite live up to the charms of UC2. While I thought the end of 3 was certainly good, I didn't feel like it was as conclusive of an ending as it could have been. I was not surprised when they announced 4, as I felt like they left a little bit of room for more after 3. After announcing that this would indeed be the final Uncharted game, I didn't know how to feel - while there have been hundreds of action-adventure games, this series in particular really hit the beats that the Indiana Jones movies gave me, and I am sad that this series is going away. I'm sure that Naughty Dog felt the pressure to deliver a game worthy of being the final in this spectacular series, and they absolutely nailed it. The Uncharted series has always been on the bleeding edge of graphics technology and art direction, and UC4 is the crown jewel. This is undoubtedly the best looking video game I've ever played, and it's not really all that close. Sprawling island vistas, colorful and crowded towns, and incredibly realistic animations (even for this series) left me consistently in awe of what I was seeing. How good this game looks even this early in the console cycle adds to the impressive visual fidelity, and it deserves any and all awards for graphics this year. Beyond the graphics, the gunplay is the most finely tuned in the series, and the set pieces are the biggest and boldest since Uncharted 2's train sequence. There is a particular sequence involving a jeep, a grappling hook (another mechanic added to this game to great effect), and a motorcycle chase that is equal parts classic Uncharted and modern excellence in game design. The story does a great job of validating the existence of another Uncharted game, as well as including nods to older games in neat ways. The epilogue in particular will stay with me for some time as a long-time fan of the franchise. Nate, Sully, and Elena are all back, and it remains fun to see them in action (or not, as represented by a chapter early in the game). The inclusion of Sam as Nate's brother is something I was initially concerned about, wondering how the game would make me care about a brand new character this late in the overall story, but they did a great job of making him another worthy character in a series filled with fun characters. There is not much I can say negatively about this game -- any other year, UC4 is a shoe-in for my number 1 game of the year. Sitting at number 3 on this list does not mean that this game isn't good - it is truly great, especially for those who have kept up with the series so far. 2. Hitman When I was a kid, my usual answer to "What do you want to be when you grow up" was always "James Bond." As I've grown older I have come to appreciate more and more that I am not James Bond, but I still love it when movies or games make me feel like a super cool secret agent. This year's installment in the Hitman franchise is exactly that - the world's best secret agent simulator! Well...maybe not exactly that but I've not had more fun playing a stealth-action game in years than I have with Hitman. The episodic nature of this game's release meant that each level required some serious heft, and IO Interactive pulled through in a major way in each of the game's sprawling levels. Whether you are in a mansion in Paris during a fashion show, walking around a gorgeous Mediterranean coastal town that hides a cavernous science lab, or a volatile marketplace in Marrakesh, each level is alive with detail, and expertly designed for creative solutions for each mission. Depending on how you want to play, the game can show you exactly where and how to perform some of the sillier ways to accomplish your mission, or you can go through blind, figuring out exactly how you would want to successfully find and take out the targets. Part of the success of Hitman 2016 is that it doesn't take itself too seriously - the AI is good enough to make things difficult if you are sloppy, but not hawkish enough to avoid being exploited. NPC dialogue can be funny as well, and while you certainly can play the game straight and use traditional weapons to carry out the hits, the game offers so many different bonkers ways to take out your targets, it's hard not to play through each mission without cracking a smile at least once. Hitman is also gorgeous - the Sapienza map in particular is stunning, but each map has a distinct aesthetic, each with superb lighting and colors to suit the setting. The music also takes cues from spy movies, giving the situation a curious vibe as you are sneaking around, and escalating if needed to go along with the action on the screen. I wish the load times were faster (playing on an Xbox One), and there are occasional janky glitches (like throwing a battle axe at a target through a wall), but neither of those take away from the immense amount of fun to be had in the gameplay (also, one could argue throwing a battle axe through a wall is actually hilarious and awesome). Where some stealth-action games take themselves too seriously and become save-scumming nightmares, Hitman hits the spot, nailing a goofy sense of fun to a well-worn concept. Bonus points - this game is also so entertaining to watch - I was sold on this game by watching Giant Bomb's video coverage of the game through the year. 1. Overwatch This list was pretty difficult to make this year, and ordering was even more difficult. That being said - there was always a clear number one, and that game is Overwatch. I have joked that this might be my Game of the Every Year, and depending on when you ask me, I may not actually be joking. I was beyond skeptical of this game when it was coming out - I had fallen away from the competitive multiplayer shooter scene somewhere around Halo 3 and Modern Warfare 2. I scoffed at the game not even trying to offer anything for single-player players like me. I knew that I enjoyed the objective-based gameplay of Team Fortress 2 back in the day, but it was never the type of game I was especially drawn towards. But, every game podcast I listened to, every review I read, and just about everyone in games journalism I follow on Twitter could not stop talking about how much fun this game was. So, on a whim, I got the game at GameStop, thinking that I could just trade it in if I didn't like it. I texted one of my friends to let him know I got it, and it turns out he also got it. We played for a couple of hours that first night and right then I knew - I had stumbled backwards into something special. I immediately fell in love with the bright, positive aesthetic, the heroic-sounding music in the main menu, and the enticing possibilities of how different the game could feel depending on which character you use. I was hooked by the pace of each match - not too short and not too long, leaving you perfectly ready for "just one more match." Each character feels great, and I found out quickly that the game was balanced extraordinarily well already out of the gate. That first session lead into more the next day, and the next day, and every day for a week, two weeks, a month...and so on. What started as just my one friend and I playing turned into a steady group of six or seven of us ready to play most days of the week! Part of this is due to the evangelism of my friend and I, bugging our friends to buy the game at an almost daily pace, but an even bigger reason is that Overwatch is accessible while remaining a deep gameplay experience. Multiple characters are perfect for just starting in, whether you have played other multiplayer-FPS games, or whether you are still figuring out how to move with the left stick and turn the camera with the right - there is a character for everybody. The diversity of the cast of characters is also a highlight, as many different races, ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations, and personalities are not something that is typical for video games. Overwatch also does a great job at making the player feel positive reinforcement - there is no K/D list constantly in the face of the player, and post-match screens are always a celebration of what players did well in a match rather than highlighting who did the best and who did the worst. As Blizzard is known to do with their other games, they showed that they are fully capable of supporting Overwatch via regular content updates and gameplay balance patches, which paves the way for the game to continue to be great in the years to come. The promise of free DLC forever is another great way they are sticking it to their competitors, and continued proof that Blizzard cares about the people who play their games. Sure - do I wish that duplicate items in loot boxes gave out more in-game currency? Of course - but that is also literally the only negative thing I can think of to say about this game. I have logged in more hours into this game than any other game I've ever played (except for maybe Mario Kart 64, which I started playing almost twenty years ago), and I continue to add hours every week. This game has made me new friends, and kept me close with old friends, and has been a valuable portion of my week nearly every week since its release. There was never any other option for my number one game of the year this year, and it deserves any and all praise and awards possible from now until the end of time. PS - please please please get on the point. Thanks! Barely Missed the List: -Firewatch - this is a gorgeous game with an understated, sad, and ultimately genuine and human narrative that hooked me from beginning to end. I'm not sure I'll ever revisit it, but it was a compelling look into the consequences of failing to communicate effectively, as well as speaking to how we tend to go to great lengths to avoid tough situations at times. -Gears of War 4 - This is a solid re-entry into the Gears universe, one which I was a huge fan of in Gears 1-3. Gears 4 is definitely more Gears, although it didn't quite have the same magic for me as the first 3. That being said, I'll be ready for Gears 5 - and this one would have made the list in a lot of other years that weren't as jam packed as this year. -Final Fantasy XV - This was tough to omit from the list. I was really enjoying my time with this game until they announced that they were going to add in story scenes to the game at some unspecified time down the road. As someone who wants to experience a game the best way possible the first time through, I have yet to continue the game since they made this announcement. Despite all of that, I'm thrilled that Final Fantasy is back, and I think that the overall presentation and battle system make for a fun game to play. I'll be excited to get back into this game...once they finish it. Haven't Played but Wish I Had: -Hyperlight Drifter -The Last Guardian -Superhot Games I Want to Play More: -Darkest Dungeon - I love the aesthetic of this game, and I can always fall deep into a good rogue-like -FFXV - reasons above -The Witness - this game makes me feel so smart, but can also be so frustrating. -SFV/Guilty Gear - I want to be better at fighting games, and I love how both of these games look. SFV definitely has more players, but GG feels like the better game. Most Disappointing Game -Tom Clancy's The Division - I wanted to love this game. I was so ready for it after the initial E3 presentation. The promise of another game like Destiny where I could group up with friends, take down enemies, and find better loot is something that I can always get behind. But then, I played The Division. The empty open world was boring, the netcode was a struggle, and the constant cheaters in the Dark Zone bounced me off of this game in a way I wasn't ready for. The loot and customization failed to impress me, and the bullet spongy enemies got old real fast. I haven't felt this disappointed in a game in a long time. Runners Up: -Rez: Infinite - this is not a bad game, and I enjoyed my time with it in VR, but based off of what I heard about this game, it should have brought me closer to God. Needless to say I don't believe it was as transcendent as the conversation around the game would lead me to believe, and that's the only reason it is on the Disappointing Games list for me this year. -No Man's Sky - Or, Game that Makes Me Sad of 2016. The promise of this game based off of the (potentially maliciously) misleading marketing of this game is such a huge disservice to what this game actually is. Thankfully, I did hear enough impressions from some who played it at preview events so that I realized a little more that NMS would be closer to a survival game than the end-all-be-all Sci-Fi epic that was advertised, but even that couldn't help me from eventually falling off of this game. I still really love the aesthetic of the game, and it has some great music. The addition of the Foundation update gives me hope that maybe, just maybe, NMS will one day resemble its initial, ambitious vision, but until that day comes, NMS will ultimately remain disappointing. VR Lineup: VR is finally here! So far I have only experienced VR through the PSVR, and I feel hopeful for the potential VR can bring to gaming. Here are my top 5 PSVR experiences of the year: Job Simulator Batman: Arkham VR Here They Lie RIGS Until Dawn: Rush of Blood Best Game for On The Go: Batman: The Telltale Series (iPad) World of Final Fantasy (Vita) Super Mario Run (iPhone) Game of the (Not This) Year -The Witcher 3 - I've continued to progress forward in The Witcher 3, and I still haven't beaten the main game or touched either DLC pack. This game is so full of great content, it is almost overwhelming. Every time I play TW3, I am more and more convinced that this is one of the best games of the generation, and absolutely one of the best open-world games of all time. Runners Up: -Persona 4: Dancing All Night - I haven't been this into a rhythm game since Rock Band 3! It has been fun coming back to the Persona 4 universe, and jamming along to some of the best video game music in years. This is also a great way to continue the excitement for Persona 5, coming out later this year. -Life is Strange - This is a charming adventure game that I picked up on sale for $5, and I haven't regretted the decision. I haven't yet beaten the story, but I appreciate the indie-movie nature of the game's story, cinematography, and music. The time-rewinding mechanic has been used in many other different games, but the usage of this mechanic in Life is Strange takes pressure off of making decisions, allowing me to see more of the story as I go along. Best Looking Game Uncharted 4 Overwatch Ratchet and Clank Best Music Overwatch (shoutout to Numbani theme!) Uncharted 4 Stardew Valley Overcooked Hitman Best Story Batman: The Telltale Series Uncharted 4 Firewatch

#game of the year #forza horizon 3 #doom #inside #overcooked #batman #batman: the telltale series #stardew valley #Dark souls 3 #Uncharted 4 #Hitman #the division #no man's sky #the witcher 3

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