#but what jumped to me more was how much of a toxic environment was it for betty in ecomoda

[justbeenthinking]

Ep 3 - After handing Betty the dismissal letter for having disregarded her orders after the Karina Larson incident, Marcela:

Stop insisting, don’t make me call security.

Ep 112 - After the junta directiva, Betty tries to leave with the garbage bag of gifts and cards, Marcela:

I want to see what’s inside that bag or else I’m calling security.

#when i found these similarities #i wanted to diss Marcela on her narcissistic misogynistic princess syndrome #but what jumped to me more was how much of a toxic environment was it for betty in ecomoda #She is constantly belittled harassed bullied and threatened #Something that never changed since she was in kindergarten #and yet she says she loves Ecomoda and knows it perfectly well and strived to make Ecomoda better than it was in all sense #Also #Marcela was wearing the same blue business suit in both scenes #ysblf #yo soy betty la fea

[sunsetsturniolos]

Oneshot: Matt confronting you after you start getting quiet. You’ve been getting insecure and you feel like you’re holding him back. This hot ass man is sweet as fuck tho!!!

talk to me - matt sturniolo x fem reader

a/n: took my own little twist on this :) sorry is there are any mistakes!

warnings: mentions of toxic childhood, not eating, hate comments, insecurities. if you are going through any of this please talk to someone! my inbox is always open if you need some to rant to 💞

as always my inbox is open for requests, but other than that, enjoy!

lots of love,

m💌💌💌

it had been about 2 weeks since you and the triplets have done anything together. every time they asked you to do something that involved getting ready nicely you shut them down. this wasn’t like you, normally you were a very bubbly and happy person who was always jumping at opportunities to do something fun, so you knew they were starting to get suspicious but you just brushed it off and moved on.

lately you’ve been feeling very insecure with yourself. you grew up in a toxic environment, which lead to you always having the thought in the back of your head that you weren’t good enough. recently, you’d been in some of the triplets videos, and the hate had been adding to this. you’d stopped eating as much, cutting down to a few snacks a day, maybe a whole meal if you were lucky. it’d been like this for a while, and while you hated doing this to yourself, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

a few days had passed and matt was starting to get worried. he knew you were struggling at the moment but he didn’t realise it was this bad. the triplets ordered canes for dinner last night, and while matt thought you ate your meal and didn’t finish because your stomach was hurting, he was wrong. he found your entire meal in the bin the next morning and suddenly everything made sense. he’s been trying to muster up the words and courage of what to say to you. he knew he had to do something, he couldn’t bare to see his beautiful girl going through this. he waited a while before finally going to your guys’ shared bedroom, already finding you sat on the bed, phone in hand. you had bags under your eyes. you’d lost a lot of weight, you weren’t yourself anymore.

“hey baby, can we talk?” matt stuttered,

“uh, yeah of course,” you hesitantly replied, these kind of conversations always made you nervous. “uhm i don’t really know how to start this, but i saw all of your food from last night in the trash, i thought you ate some of it?” matt asked.

shit. you thought.

“oh eh i just wasn’t that hungry thats all.” you quickly replied, hoping to end the conversation.

matt knew that was all bullshit.

“love, you and i both know that isn’t true,” he spoke.

oh you were screwed.

“talk to me baby, whats going on?” he carried on, adding a comforting hand to your thigh, you tensed under his touch.

tears started to well up in your eyes, you knew you couldn’t keep it in anymore, you had to tell him. “i’ve just been feeling a bit insecure recently, i mean you’ve seen the comments right? everyone thinks i’m fat!” you’d broken down by now. matt’s face was drained with guilt. “baby those comments don’t mean anything! your the most gorgeous girl i know! they’re just jealous, mean 12 year olds! please don’t let them affect you. everyone loves you so much, nick loves you, chris loves you, and i love you more than anything! this isn’t healthy, you need to eat.” matt was right. “i know, i just didn’t know what to do.” it was a lame excuse and you knew it, but you had nothing else to say. “please talk to me next time, you know i’m always here for you,” he reassured, you lazily nodded.

“i love you matt.” “i love you more baby, why don’t we go get ice cream from down the street, your favourite?” matt smiled. “that sounds great honey, thank you.” you blushed.

matt quickly kissed you forehead and grabbed his keys from the dresser. he held his hand out for you as you got up and interlocked fingers, making your way to the car.

what would you do without this boy.

tags: @sturnioloslurps @lacysturniolo @lewisroscoelove @55sturn @freshloveforthefit @lanai3mother

#matt sturniolo #matthew sturniolo #sturniolo x reader #sturniolo triplets

[ghostlygraphist]

ai generated mushroom guides could get people killed

'i'm not going to link any of them here, for a variety of reasons, but please be aware of what is probably the deadliest AI scam i've ever heard of: plant and fungi foraging guide books. the authors are invented, their credentials are invented, and their species IDs will kill you"

"update: i keep getting annoyed that the QTs are like "if this is true, it's horrifying" ..but you're right, you don't know me from a hole in the ground and you SHOULD worry about the veracity of anything you find online."

thread source

so i went looking

the full description:

How to quickly become a confident mushroom forager without fear of misidentifying poisonous lookalikes!

Have you dreamt about becoming more self-sufficient and sourcing your own fresh, local ingredients?

Do you want to start sustainably foraging so you can become healthier and happier?

Have you thought about harvesting wild mushrooms but afraid you won’t be able to tell the edible and poisonous species apart?

Then this book is for you!

Save money and enjoy the delicacies that nature has to offer. Mushroom hunting is easier than you think, and less dangerous than everyone assumes.

Wild plant foraging is increasing in popularity with celebrity chefs and small cafes jumping on the bandwagon and using locally foraged produce in their food.

There are so many benefits of foraging to your health (physical and mental) and even the environment!

In Fearless Foraging in the Rocky Mountains, you’ll discover:

Over 40 species of mushroom you can harvest all year round

Complimentary access to the mobile-friendly Digital Field Guide that includes high-resolution photos and descriptions of all edible mushrooms and any toxic lookalikes so you don’t have to worry about misidentifying species

How to correctly create (and use) spore prints to help you figure out what’s what

An annual mushroom calendar so you can keep track of the mushrooms by season and make the most of each foraging season

Detailed descriptions of the anatomical properties of fungi - gain the essential knowledge you need to correctly identify species

Tips on sustainable foraging - and ways to increase the natural mushroom count for next time you visit!

And much more!

Foraging is a tradition upheld for centuries by indigenous people who used ancient, respectful principles to live off the land. Connect with that history by embracing the artful skills and knowledge to confidently collect food for your meals.

Even if you're still worried about toxic mushrooms, let this guide reassure you. Included are incredibly high-level descriptions and details to use so you don’t get it wrong. NOTE: To keep it economically prices, our paperback version is printed in black and white. Premium color is available in our hardcover version. Both will provide the quality necessary to identify wild mushrooms and plants and both come with access to the full color, high-resolution Digital Field Guide.

If you want to learn the skillful art of foraging mushrooms and enjoy nature's nutritious bounties then scroll up and click the “Add to Cart” button now.

end description

wild harvest publications... no named author? i n t e r e s t i n g

"To keep it economically prices" hmm *the design is very human meme*

this book that promises highly detailed descriptions doesn't even have color images unless you pay a premium

"Mushroom hunting is easier than you think, and less dangerous than everyone assumes." hmm. hmmmmm. yeah the government definitely put out those 'if you don't know what it is don't put it in your mouth' PSAs for no reason

tldr don't buy foraging guides off amazon if you can't locate a human author and verify their credentials yourself

#mushrooms #fungi #fungus #ai #amazon #foraging #we live in the worst timeline #incorrect foraging guides is like something a hostile government would distribute to kill dissidents about to go into hiding in the woods #but no its idiots who want to make money #mushroom identification #mushrooming

[f1fnatic]

SCRUTINY ⤿ f1 grid

→ ( in which. . . ) you are a woman on the f1 grid. you face criticism and digs almost every day from toxic fans, specifically the men. but, you shut them up after a rewarding race.

→ ( fanfic genre. . . ) written

→ ( pairing. . . ) 2023 f1 grid x female!reader

→ ( content warnings/disclaimers. . . ) cyberbullying, misogyny, sexism/sexist comments, overall a shitty environment. not based on this year's monaco grand prix or the season so far just has the drivers of this year's grid at this moment except alonso he is a reserve for aston martin, jumps around a little, not a completely solid plot, other pilots make subtle mentions, but mainly reader focused.

→ ( author's note. . . ) i enjoyed writing this one a lot. with being a woman myself and seeing how we are perceived in sports, especially a male-dominated field like motorsport, it was not very difficult to keep writing. anyways, i hope you enjoy! see end for more.

→ ( masterlist )

sunday, pre-race interview ↴

scrutiny. a word that you are familiar with. a word that has so much meaning but so little at the same time. you had recently joined your dream team, aston martin. after a challenging run in f3 and f2, you finally got recognized for your talent. you knew the comments would only get worse as you moved up the ranks, but you didn't expect them to be this bad.

it was the monaco grand prix. your least favorite track to race. the tight corners haunted you. without fail, you always almost crashed and cost your team everything. but it mainly cost you your dignity.

you were sat along a crisp white sofa that sat your teammate lance stroll, along with charles leclerc, lewis hamilton, lando norris, daniel ricciardo, and lastly max verstappen. you had all become acquainted when you first got to f1. lance and you got along swell and were close to inseparable. the rest were like brothers to you. these types of conferences were your personal least favorite. you enjoyed being with your friends, but the questions that were asked were downright embarrassing.

"y/n, coming over to you." the interviewer voiced, all attention was shifted onto you. "monaco in the past years has not treated you well, do you think you will have another devastating grand prix? and do you think your difference has to do with your performance?" you felt the scoff bubble in your throat. was he serious? you knew what he was playing at. your difference being your gender.

"well, first of all, i do not think my quote en quote 'difference' has anything to do with my performance." you start, putting finger quotes to emphasize the word difference. "if anything, it would be a difference in the car. in past monaco grand prix's the aston martin car has struggled. there are no real straights for the car to get its usual speed from. the differences in the care have nothing to do with me as a driver." this was unbelievable. were they really questioning whether you could hold your own as a woman in motorsport?

"you are starting p7 in today's race. do you think you performed well enough in qualifying? what could you have done differently?" finally. a normal question. you were excited to answer.

"uh, yeah. i think considering the conditions in qualifying and the nature of the track i did well. i am happy with how i performed but there is always room for improvement. and i am open to that." you answered, smiling. you looked over to lewis and saw him smiling at you. he knew how the media worked. he himself was getting pushed under the bus with racist remarks and 'concern' around his piercings. he was always supportive of you, and you were supportive of him. there were often times when you would text or call him ranting about how unfair it was that you were being treated the way you were. he would join in with his own stories and you would listen.

"y/n, i am sure you have seen the scrutiny online about being a woman competing in the pinnacle of motorsport. do you believe you should be here competing with men?" another reporter asks.

you are stunned. you couldn't believe what you were hearing.

"are you serious?" lance scoffs beside you. "what is with these questions?"

"why do we get questions about normal things like our literal jobs and y/n's questions are always about her gender?" daniel adds. the couch breaks out in murmurs. the reporters visibly get uncomfortable with what has happened and end the interview.

standing up you walk out of the office and to your drivers room, ignorning the voices calling after you. these interviews were always bullshit. daniel was right, why were you always getting questioned about your gender and how that effects your performance? what does gender have to do with racing?

this was only the beginning.

sunday, day of monaco grand prix ↴

you were exhausted. exhausted by the comments, the bullshit interviews, and the stupid prick men that felt the need to voice their opinion about a woman in f1.

you could this year's grand prix was going to be a tough one. mentally and physically. you wanted to be done. done with the bullying, the sexism, the misogyny, everything. you knew you worked hard to get where you are, and you will continue to. you dreaded the after-race interviews. no matter your result, you would always get at least 4 sexist remarks.

you didn't know what else you needed to do to be able to prove yourself worthy of your seat. you shouldn't have to prove yourself anymore than you have. you are in f1, and all of these assholes are not.

your pr manager, bless his soul, had to listen to your rants after interviews. lewis always got brunt end of it as well. he had experience with degradating comments. he always knew what to say and when to say it. fernando has been a huge help as well. he was like a father to you, always there when you needed someone. he would defend you when you needed defending. he always knew what to say and when to say it.

race start, p7 ↴

p7 was not a bad place to start, at all. but the internet and crowd thought differently. you were sat in your car, ready for the formation lap when someone yelled at you, "c'mon pretty lady! get back to cleaning! this is a man's sport!" you resisted the urge to quip back at him, instead you raised your left hand and flipped him off. your pr manager would have your head later but you couldn't care less. you needed to do something to voice your annoyance.

concentration is what you needed, but you couldn't seem to gain it with more comments being shouted your way. "hot momma!" followed by a cat call whistle, "sweetheart take off that suit! let's see what's underneath!", "YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS JOB!" were only some of the handfuls thrown at you. they also seemed to be the ones that bothered you the most. your grip on your steering wheel tightened, anger bubbling in your gut. these people knew nothing. they don't know how hard you work. they don't know how much blood, sweat, and tears you poured into achieving your dream. and they never would.

before you knew it, the formation lap started. it went quickly. you got back into your respective starting positions and stared down the lights. you took a deep breath to attempt to ground yourself. it is just a race, you have done this before y/n.

the lights lit up red, until they didn't. you flew forward in your aston martin, pushing it for a decent start. you ended up gaining two positions, going from p7 to p5. the rest of the race was uneventful, until it wasn't.

"y/n, caution on the chicane. hamilton, perez, and leclerc crashed. yellow flag, safety car." your race engineer voiced over the radio. "that moves you into a fortunate p2."

"okay, copy." you were ecstatic. this was your chance to prove yourself to everyone. to those men who scrutinized you before the formation lap, to the trolls online, and to those misogynistic pricks known as reporters. this was your moment.

"gap to verstappen 1.6 seconds, push." you did as you were told. you pushed, and you pushed hard. this was for all of the girls that wanted to be you. "oh my days y/n! p1! p1! you just won the monaco grand prix!"

"yes! oh my god! fuck me! we did it!" you had done it.

you did your victory lap and parked behind the p1 tower. when you got out of your seat tears stung at your eyes. you ran over to where the aston martin team was and hugged them over the barrier. team members were banging on your helmet. lance had managed p2 and came up behind you and hugged you, along with the team.

the podium was a blur. you could not describe the emotions you were feeling. pride, excitement, and most of all, happiness were swirling within you. you stood tall as aston martin's anthem played and even taller when yours sounded shortly after. the champagne spray was the best part. carelessly spraying lance as giggles sounded on the podium. you also sprayed your team below, this would not have been possible without them. you would never forget this moment. it is forever engraved into your mind.

this was it, this was what you needed to prove them all wrong.

not feeling super happy w this one. i like the beginning but i feel it gets away from me in the middle and end. feedback and requests are welcome! make sure to leave a comment and kudos as well, only if u want to tho! lmk if you like it :)

#+*. 🗃️f1fnatic's archives - +*. #f1 x reader #formula one x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 x you #formula 1 fanfic #f1 fics #f1 imagine #f1 one shot #f1 x female reader #formula 1 #charles leclerc #lewis hamilton #fernando alonso #lance stroll #f1 blurb #max verstappen #lando norris #daniel ricciardo #f1 2023 #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 fandom #f1

[wonbons]

genre: probably angst!

summary: wonbin likes you, but anton is bored so he takes the wrong turn and decides to compete with wonbin for fun.

pairings: wonbin x reader, anton x reader

warnings: reader being played, miscommunication

posted on ao3!

note: villain!anton because why not??? btw might make a part 2 for anton's pov but idk! MY FIRST FIC sorry if i made any grammar mistake or typo. enjoyyyy!

—

Wonbin is such an ideal guy. Well, people have preferences, but at least you think he’s one hell of a deal.

I mean, who could blame you? Magnetism looks, cool demeanor, reserved. That's his usual suit, he's different with you. He’s all warm and soft, maybe if you tell him to jump off a cliff, he would do it without any question.

It’s like he has no flaw at all!

Well, maybe one…

People are so obsessed with him. You realized how the girls went crazy over him. One thing that you fail to realize is he’s actually in a very toxic environment. Wonbin couldn’t tell you about it, he doesn’t want to worry you.

He always dislikes Anton, but nobody will believe him if he says Anton is actually evil.

Anton, with his friendly and soft voice, who would actually believe it if Wonbin told them about Anton being a copycat and never leaving Wonbin alone?

You actually would believe him.

Only if he tells you.

Now, he is very bothered.

Anton is acting friendly towards you, it’s making Wonbin activate his alert mode. This is weird. There must be a plan behind that friendliness.

“Wonbin! You’re here!” You smile brightly when you see your soon-to-be boyfriend.

“Hey, sorry I took so long.”

“It’s okay! You didn’t tell me Anton is your friend!” You chuckled.

Wonbin faked a smile, you could tell… but you chose to brush it away.

At least for now.

“Yes, our parents are best friends.” Wonbin puts his arm around you. “Let’s go.”

“Goodbye, Anton!” You waved at Anton.

“See you guys tomorrow.” Anton smiles warmly toward you.

Wonbin waves at Anton and then walks you to his car. He turns his head one more time to check if Anton is still there.

Well, he is.

With a sly smirk that makes Wonbin want to commit murder.

What is wrong with that guy?

Wonbin is definitely panicking inside.

“Hey, are you alright?” You asked him. “What’s wrong?”

“No, nothing…” His smile reassured you that he’s fine. “Let’s go.”

Well, those were a few months ago.

Now, Wonbin is sitting on the floor. Back leaning against his bed. His eyes are still swollen due to the crying sessions he had today. He kept looking at your picture. He really misses your smile. How he wished he could go back in time and tell you exactly why he hates Anton to his bone.

Wonbin decided to send you a few voice notes. He added a note to open it when you’re all alone.

He throws his phone to the coffee table across from him. Luckily, it doesn’t break. He sips his nth glass of whiskey today. Lord knows he hates to touch alcoholic drinks, but the pain is just too much to bear in sober mode.

Wonbin wished the star so you could come back to him, that this is not too late and Anton screw something up.

—

“Anton, I’m gonna take a shower.” You said while tying your hair into a bun.

“Okay, just call my name if you need anything.”

“Yessir!” You happily walk into the bathroom. A relaxing shower is our favorite thing after an amazing date, right?

You turn on the shower. The warm water is a stress relief for sure! You rethink your day. Today is incredibly great. You spent a full day with Anton at the amusement park. Closing it with a kiss on the Ferris wheel while watching the sunset too… feels like a movie!

You’re so happy! The relationship felt a bit rushed though… or maybe it’s just an effect from Wonbin. Since he left you hanging for so long. It’s alright now! You have Anton.

You palm your forehead when you realize you forgot to bring your favorite soap with you. Well, the happiness makes you kind of forgetful. It happens.

You don’t turn off the shower, because you put your body care pouch near the bathroom door, if you remember well…

You open the door slowly and then close it again. You search your body care pouch and grab your favorite body wash. When you stand up, you realize that Anton is nowhere to be seen.

You heard a voice coming from the balcony. The door is open, Anton must be there. At first, you’re not really curious about what is he doing there.

But, then… you heard him mentioning your name. You thought he was calling for you, so you walk toward the balcony.

However, you immediately pause when you heard his next sentence.

“Well, yes, I only care about her because I want to beat Wonbin. What else?”

You froze.

He’s on his phone with lord knows who.

“I mean, it’s not my fault if she chose me. That’s on her AND Wonbin.” He laughed.

“Well, I am winning. I’m always winning.”

You hold your tears. You couldn’t believe this.

Is it all fake? His affection? His efforts? His smiles?

The kiss? It’s all just… a game?

You go back to the bathroom to finish your shower. After you’re done with your quick shower, you get ready and pack your things. You hurriedly put on your shoes with tears streaming down your face.

“Y/N? You’re done—wait, where are you going?” Anton asked with a warm smile. A smile that you no longer trust anymore.

“Anywhere but here.” You give him a cold shoulder.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong? I’m wrong. It is a wrong choice to choose you over Wonbin.” You snapped. “Gosh, why am I so stupid?” You laughed at yourself.

“No, Y/N you must hear the full call. Here, I always record my calls—”

“No, Anton. We’re done.” You rush to the door. “Thank you for the lies.”

“Y/N, no! I can explain, please!” You slammed your door behind you while wiping your tears away. You take a taxi and get into the cab just in time before Anton can chase you.

“Where to, Miss?” The driver asked.

“I don’t know, just drive first.”

“Alright, I have a tissue right there if you need it.” The driver is so understanding. You are so thankful for that.

You open your phone and see some notifications from Wonbin. You deleted his number, but you remember it.

You open the chat and see some voice notes. With a note at the end, ‘listen to this when you’re alone please’.

Well, your intuition tells you to play all the voice notes now.

“Y/N… I’m sorry I didn’t make a fast move… sorry I took too much time…”

“Y/N, there’s one thing that I haven’t told you about Anton. Well… he is a hater of mine… he’s not actually my friend… I really wanted to tell you that he never leaves me alone, he always copies the stuff I did and all… I’m actually so irritated by him, but no one would believe me… I don’t know what he’s telling you. He’s really good at brainwashing, he ruined a few of my friendships too…”

“I have a feeling that he’s only chasing you so he could beat me… he loves to win at this non-existent competition… I really hope his feelings toward you are genuine, Y/N…”

“You know where to come back if he does you wrong, though…”

“I love you, Y/N… I’m sorry.”

You hold your sob now. All that you can feel is regret. Pain. Guilty. You did him wrong. Why are you so stupid? Why would you choose Anton over Wonbin?

“Emerald Tower, please.” You try your best to contain yourself.

“Well, we’re here then.” The driver pulls over to the right.

“Thank you.” You give him 50 bucks and get out of the car when one of the employees opens the door for you.

“Miss, this is too much.”

“That’s for your kindness. Thank you.” You try to form a smile and hurriedly rush to the elevator.

“Miss!” You could hear the driver call you when you entered the lobby.

“What floor, Miss?”

“28.” You smiled and wiped your tears away.

You wait in silence. Waiting for the elevator door to open. When it reaches the 28th floor, you smile at the employee and walk out to the left.

You are now in front of Wonbin’s apartment door. You call him and to your surprise, he immediately answers.

“Hello?”

“I’m outside.” You said softly.

Wonbin immediately hangs up. After a few seconds, you heard a thumping sound walking closer to the door.

Wonbin opened the door and let you in without any hesitation.

You drop your bag and hug him after he closes the door behind him.

You finally let out your sobs in his embrace. “I’m sorry-I’m sorry-I’m sorry, Wonbin. I’m sorry.”

He hugs you tightly and sobs with you.

“Wonbin, I’m so stupid. I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s not your fault.”

“Wonbin, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.” Wonbin breaks the hug to stare at your face. It hurts seeing you crying like this, he cups your face and wipes your tears with his thumb. “I’m sorry I was indecisive.”

“Wonbin, I’m so—” He pulls you in for a kiss before you could say any apologies again.

“Please be mine, I know I’m so late. I’m so dumb for wasting your time. But, please be mine. Give me a chance to fix it.”

“Wonbin…” You collect yourself together. “You’re all that I need.”

Wonbin smiles at you warmly. He gives your forehead a long peck. His favorite form of showing affection to you.

“I love you, Y/N.” Wonbin caress your cheek. “I will always do.”

—

© wonbons, 231022

#riize angst #anton angst #wonbin angst #riize imagines #riize #riize anton #riize wonbin #riize x reader #riize fics

[furiousgoldfish]

Starting to see that it's actually very normal for the abused kids to get themselves in sort of, bad situations in real life, and then just slowly progress to less-bad, and less-bad, until it gets to a place where we feel comfortable, or at least we're able to hold on without having a crisis.

This doesn't happen because as an abused kid, you're now doomed or attract toxic people, those are just myths. It is true that we will easily tie several bad things that have happened to us together, and decide that it's a proof that things will always be bad for us, and that isn't true either, bad things actually do happen to everyone. With us, it just hits worse, feels worse, triggers us and forces us to re-live everything else bad that has happened, and creates more ominous symbolism. We're also unlikely to receive comfort, so we're always in our bad situations alone and feel abandoned. That is enough to make anyone despair.

But there is a timeline with a fairly slow progression from 'abuse' to 'less abuse' to 'healthier environment'. I don't think I know any cases where a person went from abuse to 'safe and loved for eternity', and it has to do with how we view the world, and how everything we learn is relative to each other.

For instance, after running away from abusive parents, I spent a long time being just extremely grateful that I'm not in physical danger anymore, and that nobody is yelling at me. There were several injustices happening to me, I was financially exploited despite being in severe poverty, I accidentally associated myself with people who exploited my labour and did some extremely sick things to me, but how would I notice? I was busy feeling grateful for not being assaulted. You can't tell someone who just got out of hell 'hey, this is bad too, actually', because what they're seeing is 'this is so much better than hell, this is the best situation I've ever been in, I'm so grateful this isn't worse, this level of injustice is nothing.'

But, to a person who hasn't experienced severe abuse or injustice, it wouldn't be 'nothing', it would be stuff worth calling the police over.

We just can't see it because, relatively to our life, this is the best we ever experienced, and whatever bad things are happening, are usually detected as 'minor' and ignorable'. This is likely to get us into several bad situations, but it's also inevitable, we can't quickly jump from abuse to healthy. It takes some layers of bad for us to notice that we could actually, do better. Sometimes the bad situations turn into worse, and then we realize it's actually bad and triggering, and we get out. Sometimes, bad people go away all on their own, and we realize then, that we're happier.

The good news is, that after getting away from the worst of the abuse, we often will feel like 'this is the most freedom I ever had, this is the best I was ever treated, this is the most love I've ever gotten, I'm so grateful this is better than before', and that is a good thing to experience. Bad thing about it is that often sometimes later, we will go 'oh. that actually was bad and I couldn't tell.' but the point is, you're smarter now, and you'll realize it next time, and slowly you'll always keep going toward better and better life situations.

I'm writing this to let you know it happens to everyone else too. We all go thru some level of additional messes and we don't see them as messes, we only realize it in retrospect. So don't blame yourself if you don't know how exactly to put yourself in a good situation after you've experienced so few of them! It might be a rocky road, but it won't feel like one, not until you look back. You're always moving forward, and every single thing you didn't realize at the time, that it was bad, is generally how we all move forward and learn about these things. You can't know it all at once.

#escaping abuse #abuse aftermath #child abuse #abusive parents #trauma recovery #abuse recovery #recovering from abuse #going from worst to bad to better to good

[marvelfilth]

Listen, I agree with you that I want Neve Campbell to stand in solidarity with Melissa Barrera, but here's the thing. Melissa and the rest of the new cast mates still appeared in Scream 6, while still supporting Neve for the pay dispute. So, I don't see why Neve returning for Scream 7 and still supporting Melissa would be any different. Yes, I know the circumstances are different. Obviously, they haven't moved on from her character, if they wanted her back for the sixth film and now want her back for a potential sequel.

I've been a fan of the Scream franchise since the first movie came out in the 90s, my love and support for the franchise or any of the cast members and characters isn't gonna change just because a shitty production company took it upon themselves to create this toxic environment and decided to fire Melissa over something that she shouldn't have been fired for. At the end of the day, Spyglass is the one who should be held accountable and getting called out. Not anyone else.

I love both Neve and Melissa and their characters and consider them both to be final girls. They both deserve better than how the production company has treated them both. And I'm not a bad person for saying that. I'm not with this whole "cancel everyone, because they don't agree with me" or "oh, I'm gonna suddenly stop loving something that I've loved for years, because of something I didn't agree with." Cancel culture has become way too toxic.

And whether or not you agree with Neve's decision to come back, it doesn't justify the amount of people on Twitter that have been harassing her relentlessly and even going so far as to send her death threats. That's not how you create solidarity or try to get someone to do the right thing. And it's sad this is what the media has come down to as well.

I'm not a fan of that woman and never cared about her at all, but here's the thing - she never stood by Melissa.

Don't you see the difference?

Melissa publicly supported Neve, and Neve stayed silent and jumped back at first opportunity when she could've just stayed quiet.

The circumstances are different, yes. Very much so. Toxic environment? That's the least of it. The company literally supports genocide, and Neve willingly chose to associate with it. She was out, she had nothing to do with it and yet she decided to jump right back in cause they lost their new lead.

Spyglass didn't come out and say "hey, we want Neve back." No. It was Neve. She said "hey Spyglass, give me more money and I'll come back."

Spyglass is held accountable, by me at least. But it doesn't mean you should just close your eyes when it concerns your favourite actress. She chose this.

I don't care about cancel culture and that is not what I was trying to do. You can't try make me feel guilty for calling her out on her behaviour. And I for sure am not creating solidarity with Neve for choosing to work with zionists.

"Try to get someone to do the right thing"??? Are you serious rn? Neve is fifty. She's not some kid who doesn't know better. It's not anyone's job to hold her hand and tell her she did a bad thing.

She is a hypocrite. She choose to associate with zionists. She chose money over morals.

#stand with melissa #melissa barrera #sam carpenter #neve campbell #scream

[ygsunflower]

I was listening to Post Show Recaps podcast reviewing Special Ops: Lioness Ep 1 & 2. and the two hosts brought up something that inspired me to dive a little bit deeper into Cruz’s character: They pointed out that the Marine officer was kind of using Cruz’s trauma/experience to recruit her. They then mentioned in the US how going to the military sometime is a mean for people to be able to afford college education. The fact that they are just high school graduates, barely 18 years old, and they are signing up for something that might be so much bigger than what they could comprehend at such a young age is crazy. Their conversation got me thinking, this also fits Cruz’s narrative with the military. I mean, I always low key view this show as a military/CIA propaganda recruiting program, but these two hosts made me view Cruz’s journey through a new lens (though not sure this is what the show intended for us to see)- Cruz almost serves as the opposite example of why the young teens/adults, especially troubled individuals, should join the military without hesitations for the second chance it might provide them.

Cruz had a tough upbringing, and even into her early adulthood, her life was full of chaos, abuses, instabilities, and she was unloved. Her first military encounter was so positive that she jumped right on it as her means to get out of her toxic relationship/environment. The Marine officer literally saved her from her abusive boyfriend. You can’t get that “hero/savior” image more straightforward than this. So just like those teens/young adults, she joins the military for a simple reason- it allows her to achieve whatever she wants to in the future. This opportunity gives her a future. Of course, she wasn’t really thinking the deeper meaning of being a marine and being in the military. She probably just thought- oh so apparently I performed well on the written test, and I just aced my physical exam. And on paper, military saves life, so why not? Things will only go up and life will get easier and simpler from now on. Little did she know, and even little did she prepared for the harsh implication of joining the military.

She would probably be fine if she just stayed as a Marine or a typical soldier, because neither depends much on her to perform solo. She got to excel, but she also had the protection of an unit. It’s only when she was thrown into a solo espionage mission where she only had herself making all the on the spot decisions which could lead to the life or death of not just the mission, but also her own life, her team’s lives, and possibly the government’s interests, she started to really consider the weight of being in this line of work. She started to question what she singed herself up for all those years back. I imagine her internal turmoil kept growing as she met Aaliyah and started to develop true feelings for her. With each passing day, Cruz’s realization that this life is not what she wanted only grew. She’s not made for this type of work, at least not as fit for the work as her boss, Joe. In the last episode, Cruz completely lost it, and screamed this in Joes’s face- Joe subscribes to the ideology of the CIA work, and she truly believes in it. As much as this job demands of her, she’s making the conscious decision to pursue it because that’s what she considers necessary for the just/noble cause (in her view). Cruz wasn’t like that at all. This new perspective also helped explain in my head why Cruz sometimes seem a little un-spy-like because this is literally the point. The longer she stays in this mission, the more uncomfortable and unfit she becomes for the job. She joined so she could have safety, stability, and a possibility of the freer future. In my head, she didn’t mind/care much about the military’s ideology until it went against her feeling loved for the first time in her life. And from that moment on, the cruel reality of being in the military became insufferable. What she thought could be a mean to her ideal life turns out to be the force that prevents and even destroys her chance of ever living her ideal life with her loved one... So in the end of S1, Cruz was alone, lost, and broken because her dream was once again shattered by reality.

Laysla really nailed Cruz’s internal turmoil in my opinion. The rigid posture, the hesitation, the pained and dulled eyes… You see how Cruz broke down little by little throughout the season. You see just how much all these burdens and conflicting feelings were eating her up alive especially when she’s with Aaliyah.

Hope we get a S2 where we get to see them exploring more of Cruz Manuelos, and the Aaliyah x Cruz relationship after the bloodshed. I’d love to see how this incident affects Cruz and Aaliyah.

#character study? #I clearly have a lot of feelings about the show and the character #😂 #cruz manuelos #laysla de oliveira #aaliyah x cruz #special ops: lioness

[kirasgirl]

GOD COMPLEX| Jujutsu Kaisen x FEM!reader

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

SHE LOOKED BACK.

Making sure there was no one. His hands subtly lifting the dress as he climbed the stairs, preventing him from stepping on the haute couture fabric.

His jumps stepping subtly on the marble floor coated in gold for the combination of the large hall that looked more like a palace.

The long corridor with a red carpet, greeting numerous paintings of great authorship for the decoration of the environment that seemed bigger and bigger.

His fingers went against the golden-coated handle of the huge door, which gave entrance to a luxurious suite of the huge place. The bathroom right off the bat having a huge mirror that reflected its reflection.

A healthy look in his eyes as he approached the huge countertop, the sink that seemed to be lined in gold.

The young woman put her expensive bag on the countertop, looking for what she was looking for so much.

The small package that kept your addiction.

She gave a slight smile, gently putting the white powder in a row before picking up her card and aligning it perfectly.

Maybe it was wrong, yes.

But what’s the problem?

Everyone has an addiction, and that was hers. As much as it did harm and could bring a lot of damage, the actress continued to be satisfied with this small pinch of joy.

She needed that.

Then when that substance entered your nostrils, an adrenaline in your blood activated. The feeling so invigorating seeming to have freed her from whatever she was trapped.

His lungs were opening to the toxic air that was entering it. The girl licked her lips, her head getting up to breathe a little again before returning to the very rewarding task she did.

The sound of such a big door closing behind it or being heard. So focused on the drug that he inhaled.

“From a view, nothing has changed.”

Your breathing has stopped.

The fright strongly affecting her lungs as they burned, the cough coming against which she took her hand to her throat in search of the air she had lost.

Her heart was so out of control when she raised her face, through the mirror seeing the figure behind her with confidence.

His glamorous posture, his hands in his pocket, as always. Her eyes pulled her watching her so sadly, as if he were about to kill her right there.

His hair stuck, some loose strands giving a charm to his unique style. A malicious smile on her lips while observing how the girl had briefly been frightened by the presence.

Knowing perfectly well how he made the young woman feel, so confident of the power that was over her.

He let out a little laugh, almost looking sarcastic. And in fact it was.

And it was exactly this laugh that made the girl’s stomach wrap up with an unknown feeling, which only he made her feel.

“Did I scare you while I was doing your job?” He asked ironically, approaching behind the girl.

Observing as carefully how tense the girl’s muscles became when he stopped behind her.

Horribly too close.

Where he could feel the sweet and warm fragrance of the young girl. Almost being a satisfying action by inhaling the sweet smell that would remind you of spiny roses.

Which reminded me of the girl.

She was a prickly rose.

So beautiful but so dangerous.

A simple touch could make you get hurt so deeply in your thorns. But that deep down, it was nothing more than a small fragile flower that, if you had the legible care, could have it for yourself completely.

And he certainly took that care.

“What the fuck do you want here?” She uttered, every word coming out of her lips with a tone of disgust at which the man just laughed again, knowing how much he irritated her with a few words and actions.

“Oh well, I’m Nanami’s friend too-“

“What are you doing here?” She interrupted him, knowing that he had perfectly understood what screen had said, just trying to make fun of it.

And again he laughed.

“I came to say hi to you,” he said softly, so close that she could feel the warm breath near her ear, while the feeling of her nearby body made the girl shrink gently. “I can’t help but greet the star of the night.”

He continued, one of his hands boldly tracing his fingers across the girl’s arm, stopping on his soft shoulders. His eyes going into the mirror, to which the girl stared at his reflection.

How she hated this man.

“Do you think you can just show up like this after all?” She increased her voice, a challenging look being thrown at him.

“Yes.” He replied, smiling as malicious as before.

The girl’s blood boiled heavily, incredulous in how the boy still had the audacity to act in a certain way. Surprised that even after everything they went through and everything they did, he would still act so boldly.

She almost laughed.

Pushing the boy back before turning completely to him, a hand in his temples knowing that there would be a headache after this argument that she would like to never be able to have in her life. And never want to see this man’s face again.

“You’re an idiot, Geto.” She said, putting the little mess she had left on the counter in her small bag.

Geto raised an eyebrow.

“Geto? I thought you liked to call me Suguru.”

She sighed, reflected silently for a few seconds before turning to him, a deadly look being casting at the boy.

“What’s your problem, man...” She spat, hatred in her voice so sweet. “Do you think you can come and act like we’re friends?! You know we’re NOTHING, so just stop being a shitty sucker!” She screamed, hatred so evident on her attractive face.

“Don’t stress, darling, I’m just being polite.” He replied rudely.

“Don’t call me darling.” The girl took her little bag. “If you’re the one who broke up with me, then you have to forget me.”

Geto licked her lips, eyes deviating quickly before looking at her again. A serious look this time.

“I broke up because of you.” It started, getting closer. “If you weren’t a selfish little girl and had valued what we had, maybe we would be having sex right here and not arguing.”

He just said without any expression other than his serious face while the girl slightly separated His soft lips in surprise with the man’s speech.

How dare he.

His mouth opened, ready to utter so many offenses to man, but being quickly prevented by him.

“I know what you’re going to tell me,” he smiled. “Are you going to tell me that you hate me for the simple fact that I don’t accept that you treat me like shit? You hate me because I left you first as an abandoned puppy. It’s a shame, dear. Things don’t always work your way.”

His chest burned, not knowing if it was out of anger or disappointment.

So... affected by the words of the man in front of you. His hands on her chin, making her look at him directly into her eyes.

Eyes that she had loved so much before.

But now, she barely knew how she felt about them.

She was speechless for the first time. In fact, with Geto she was always speechless.

Maybe it’s because he had such great control over her.

Maybe it’s the fact that he was the only one to whom she really gave herself.

Maybe it’s the fact that he was your first love.

“Now, don’t take too long.” He ran his hand through the girl’s cheek, quickly cleaning the small trail of white powder that had been there because of the drug that the girl injected. “Kento is looking for you.”

And then Geto walked away.

The feeling of his hands on his face disappearing like a ghost.

He walked to the huge door and without looking back he said his last words that night.

“Oh, and to your chagrin, our meetings from now on will be more frequent.” And then the man left.

The girl in terror.

Knowing that your hell was just beginning

#jujutsu kaisen toji #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu geto #jujutsu kaisen #yandere geto #getou suguru x reader #yandere gojo #gojou satoru x reader #toji fushiguro #jjk smut #jjk x reader #jujutsu megumi #megumi x reader #itadori x reader #sukuna x reader #jjk

[yermes]

PAC: 🍁

School started for me and starbies just came out with their seasonal fall flavors so even though I am a victim of broke college student fevar I went to starbs bc whats $15 when yr already in a fuck ton of debt. So I went to starbs with my roomie to get some PSLs. But while we were there one of the baristas was just losing their absolute fucking mind at another barista who was just trying to help these young highschoolers not be late. Like???? Screaming at her not to touch anything and she can’t fucking jump the line my heart literally broke. If I had any money like fucking dollar bills I would have given them to her. Like so fucking awful. But honestly so many people are under appreciated. I literally spend my life taking care of people who claim that. “They only think of others, and they never put themselves first, or I am JUST SUCH A CARE TAKER.” But when push comes to shove they’re no where to be found. A READING FOR MY UNDER APPRECIATED MOTHER FUCKERS SO YOU KNOW HOW LOVED AND VALUED YOU AREEEE.

(I know most of you are mystics who wish to be the most esoteric babe in the mystic forest, who has to work a 9-5 so this is for youu)

Pick a meme

The cards

Nine of Wands (Reversed) 🧸

Yesod, Lord of Great Strength, Moon in Sagittarius, 10°–20°. Angels Yirthiel and Sahiah

You are putting something off in so you can help others. Something is being delayed. You are intentionally abstaining from something which in turn is causing you to spiral. Maybe your ass is working the rush shift everyday and your coworkers are assholes and you cannot bare to leave that anxious toxic ass mess. However, you owe it to yourself to find a better environment. People don’t leave because the security of which is offered but are you actually secure or are you comfortable in your mistreatment?

find people who will do better and will work with you and match your energy.

Futility 🪒

Moon 3. In Aquarius, Netzach in Air, seven of swords

The seventh suit. A notably unlucky suit. You have been backed into a corner and you need to get your way out. Now this isn’t a gun fight its a fight of wits. You need to use your cleverness to escape. Honestly, maybe a toxic friend or person you know led you down a dark path? Maybe you got love bombed so hard and led with the promise of love and compromise you fell so hard and breaking every bone on the way down. Be safe. Get out of there

Back rooms level RUN!

Fortitude (Reversed) 🫁

Daughter of the Flaming Sword, Teth, Serpent

Damn bitch you gave so much of yourself you became ill and have been weakened SEVERELY. You are also getting resentful which is hard. Like you said you were this strong ass bitch who could do anything. So you did everything and now you have egg on your face. Some athletes get trained so hard and so extreme they die. You’ve been giving so much mentally and emotionally you weakened yourself. You wouldn’t workout till death why would you give so much till failure?

Make room for yourself and forgive yourself.

The Star 💫

Jupiter in Aquarius, Chokmah to Tiphareth, Air

Its the hope that guides us all. You have such a deep well of love in that little heart of yours. The way its telling you to go is the right one. However, an off putting aspect is there may be part of the code thats got a bug, which makes your hopeful manifestations plagued by illusions. Live in the moment. Be confident of nature and your gut. Somethings may not be clear now but day by day and little by little you will find out more and more.

Take care of yourself and protect your peace

Extras:

Story/vent: once again athlete student life os difficult and I am shoving this reading in so that I can feel productive. Plus I love yo do it!

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#suitlifeofgerm #askgerm #pick a card #daily card #pick a picture #magic #shadow work #pac #tarotoftheday #germ reads #tarot #daily tarot #divination #cartomancy #beginner witch #witch #baby witch #tarotblr #tarot community #tarot commissions

[maythearo]

Ahem ahem, If I may rant a bit about Little Nightmares 3 with my thoughts on the trailer announcement + my predictions on how the game will go... cause I'm still freaking out and I'm so excited for this

Kind of a deserted, post apocalyptic theme, possibly associated with dangers of radiation or toxic waste of some sorts? I assumed because of Alone's gas mask design especially + Low's design is very post apocalyptic-like, and also from some of the enemies in the trailer. (Specifically about the obviously unnaturally big doll monster, and the bunch of human hands that crawled out of the sewer kinda resembling a humanoid spider creature for all we can see, maybe some of the enemies have been affected by whatever bigger danger this story may try to convey. I mean, characters from previous games were also unnatural looking, but for what I remember their designs and stories were fit of that very dark supernatural theme, as for this one in contrast seems to be going on a different kind of territory IN the means of supernatural, mixing a bit of more ""realistic"" tones to it)

The official podcast "the sounds of nightmares" seem to be going on a scientific/psychological evaluation and or experiments route, which I think grounds the story a little more, but at the same time I have NO idea how its narrative is going to relate to the game's itself lol something about dreams... hmmm

There is mirror travelling ig, that's super cool, but so far, I got no idea what it means 👍

I thought it would be a risky decision to leave the primary claustrophobic environment of the previous games and chose to go for a brighter, more "open world"(?) look for the main characters to adventure on, but at the same time, this setting can still be well explored on a horror perspective, despite me not seeing much of this theme being executed at all in any media I've consumed so far lol. I imagine it could be a great opportunity to contrast jumps between the game's levels, as in one stage you're out on the open desert and the other you fall into a darker area to explore through

Although I have my criticisms on some of Supermassive games' stuff, I'm still very fond of their work and takes on horror videogames in general, so I trust little nightmares 3 is in very good hands 👍

The ost is going to be awesome, the song in the trailer gave me goosebumps ngl

I believe we're not going to/are barely going to see Mono or Six in this story. Their arc was pretty well constructed beggining to end, but the lack of appearances of the two, at least for me, is not a negative thing at all! I think Low and Alone's story is going to focus on the world building through different lenses rather than exploring further what we already knew before. Mono and Six may be vaguely mentioned but not crucial to the sequel ig

Just a side note I'm a terrible game theorist, so if I said stuff that clearly contradicts something in the trailer or franchise, I am very sorry, I can't help I'm very inattentive most of the time, this is embarrassingenfjenfjebrk😫

I watched a full gameplay of the first and second game like, years ago- and only now I got the opportunity to play LN by myself. I finished the first game, went half of the dlc (I'm taking a break from it bcs it's so difficult for me and the switch version takes almost a full minute to reload after I die..) and I'm currently mid way through the second, although I still remember most of the stuff that will happen in its story. I'm following the episodes of the recent podcast, and I'm going to seach for the webcomic for me to read, yahooooo!!!

NOBODY asked for this post but I DO NOT CARE, little nightmares fascinates me from story, to gameplay, to visuals. It's one of a kind on its storytelling and art. Just my thing and I care about it very much. But that's it thanks for listening to my insanity arc

#shut up may #my brain is running laps atm. how do I make it stop

[whenthechickencry]

Umineko Ch1. Replay 4

The fact she calls out to her mom when she is the one person who isn't gonna figure out a calm way to deal with this hurts, ouch. Even amongst all the hatred she has for her mom she still trusts her.

This line always stuck with me because of how insane it reads on the outside. She's 9! A whole 9! She's an infant what do you mean old! I guess it shows her toxic environment meant she was never allowed to act like a child and is bitter about it.

Hurts to read this. Clearly, they want to stop Rosa's abuse but don't know how. It's easy to judge them as cowards but realistically what can they do? Yell at Rosa who will then take it out on Maria more?

Honestly living on that island seems like abuser heaven so at least Jessica's parents aren't the worst, comparatively speaking. She has very limited contact with the outside world and every exit is very tightly controlled.

Setting up the "who gave Maria the umbrella" mystery I see Kanon!

It's really hard to not read Maria as autistic me, with her taking orders very literally, her word repetition, and her hyper fixation on magic stuff. Just makes the way Rosa blames her for getting bullied and not having friends even more horrific.

Kumasawa laughing at the prank she helped pull, lol

idk battler It could be the worst day of my life but if I'm getting a 5-star meal I'm mowing that down happily

It's a bit sad how clearly Battler holds Kyrie in high regard and obviously does kind of consider her family even if he denies it considering that Kyrie fucking hates him

I am using the Umineko Project version of Umineko, and you know, the console sprites for Umineko are a lot more varied than the 07th mod would led you to believe (not that I am criticizing them, I am sure there were technical reasons as to why they had to be removed) there are some with Eva holding her unfolded fan that I didn't screen earlier too)

Nanjo going along with the script and getting jumped on by everyone lol

Wow, way to talk about your child Rosa

Oh here is the portrait I was talking about earlier, also everyone's tune immediately flip flops about the letter when they realized its beneficial to getting money lmfao

It's kinda cute how much Jessica tries to prove she really is the one who hates her parents the most when she probably has the best relationship with her parents out of the cousins

Yeah yaeh you are so mature and understanding than your cousins George, not like you are the one most willing to cut off your parents when their money or status obsession gets in the way of your goals or anything

Doesn't work as well for a game where the opponent isn't really trying to win and doesn't always do the most logical moves, does it?

Kyrie's correct though, if they had simply asked her on her terms who Beatrice is from the start (Something along the lines of who was Beatrice possessing) she probably would have answered!

Well, it's more like she realized you were the best one to get the information she wanted, but you do love her too much to consider that.

He's so fucking scared of Kyrie and he should be, to be honest! Though it's partly your fault she's like this.

This is also probably R07's way of telling you to look at the heart and not just the murder mystery!

Obviously, Natsuhi doesn't believe this because she knows Kinzo is dead, though I wonder if she thinks this was s will he left to the servants or something?

i wanna punt this man

I think Natsuhi and Jessica is probably the only parent/child relationship in the game that probably would heal itself with time... they both understand what is going wrong but aren't sure how to fix it, and I think with Jessica going out of her parent's house soon she probably would have been able to understand her mother more and makeup once they saw each other again... it makes me a bit sad to think about how the tragedy made it impossible for that to happen.

I'm already crying fuck. They are both extending their hand to the other. They are making steps towards repairing their relationship! And it's all getting destroyed!

I wonder how many times conversations like this happened in reality. Genji trying to convince Yasu to allow themselves to live their life normally but Yasu thinking that they aren't worthy of that, and feeling deeply guilty when they did interact with others...

I wonder if George has ever really tried to engage with Shannon's own interests, knowledge, and likes, instead of just assuming because she is a servant that everything he tells her is new and exciting to her

#umineko #umiepisode1

[scuopsie]

rant time!

kpop reaction content isn't exactly new (at least as far as I know) but it does seem to have kind of boomed in the last... two-three years I think. I remember there being only a handful of relevant kpop reaction content creators on youtube, some more popular that the others, but still there weren't a ton of them around. and I guess it makes sense because kpop itself has gotten much more popular and widely known outside of just [REDACTED] and among a wider age range I'd say.

but nowadays if you look up “X group - Y title track reaction” you will find tens, if not hundreds of reaction videos (especially if its a well known group) ranging from channels with hundreds of thousand subs to small account with a couple of hundred views on their reaction videos. and I just find that so weird.

like... especially for channels that do reactions as their main (and only) content, I find it extremely difficult to believe that after a certain point there is any authenticity behind these reactions. these big reaction channels are out there reacting to damn near every relevant kpop group's comebacks (and there are a LOT of them) and every single reaction is generally positive and often very enthusiastic.

aside from the fact that logically and statistically it's impossible for someone to like every title track being released, even if they're all objectively good (which they're not), because no one likes every genre and every style of music, there is basically no creativity involved in creating this type of content which makes it very dull both for the creator and the consumer after a while.

on top of that, this type of content has created a really toxic environment around expressing opinions and criticism toward kpop groups and kpop music. I just came across a video from one of these bigger (while also being newer) creators talking about how she's not happy with the content she's been making for the past year. she said that it's extremely overwhelming trying to keep up with every comeback when everyone expects you to react to their fave's CB and after a while sitting and reacting to music videos becomes repetitive especially when you're not even allowed to truly be yourself and express your opinions. she said she can't even talk about having a bias in a group because she would get tons of hate comments and dms about ppl bashing her for not having a different bias. I can't imagine how people would react to a reaction video creator saying she doesn't like a comeback or even a certain element in the song/mv.

I used to love kpop reaction videos back when I had just discovered them and they were not as big. like I genuinely get the appeal. seeing someone who's not a teenage girl (which is what stereotypically the general public thinks kpop stans are) is pretty validating. and back then there were like 'vocal coach reacts' or 'producer reacts' etc. seeing the reaction of "experts" analyzing different parts of a song/mv was really interesting for someone like me with zero knowledge of any of the technical stuff. and I also understand that they do contribute to promoting groups and comebacks to a certain degree. but it has just gone too far, in my opinion.

idk maybe I’ve just gotten old and lost the will to enjoy the small things that used to bring me joy but I genuinely don't enjoy reaction videos anymore. most of those older 'exerpts' (except for two I think) aren't active anymore (I'm guessing at least to some degree bc stans didn't want to hear that their fave was not that legendary of a vocalist or their fave song wasn't as layered and complex as they thought it was) and instead there are just random people reacting to kpop and some of them you can just tell that all their reactions are completely faked out. Youtubers are jumping on this trend bc it’s easy (in terms of not having any kind of real substance) and gets u good views if you’re a little charming and funny.

TL;DR : everything is fake and authenticity is dead. kdjfdjf I'm mostly joking but in the end, as per usual with my rants of this kind, I don't have a specific point or a solution. I'm just starting a conversation. so if any of you have something to add or just want to chat about this send me an ask!! (plz don't reply in the comments because I want this to be on my dash so everyone else can read too.)

#I believe the only technical reactors that arent new are PD and reacttorhek #iirc Dre used to be the biggest reacting channel but idk if hes not active anymore or just not relevant #there are a few ‘dancer reacts’ that are new and i didnt find any of their reactions that fun to watch. they didnt anything to the convo. #idk how new ben (birb) is but i used to like his reactions back when he would pause a lot and make longer comments. new hes making very- #short reactions and barely rewinds/pauses for comments. #i dont watch reacttorhek anymore at first bc they werent doing reactions to my faves anymore so there wasn’t anything for me to watch #but then I discovered that they have a doc where they’ve made a list of groups/songs they wouldn’t be reacting to #i think the explanation was that the producer has to choose songs that are complex enough and are worth their artists reacting to #which made sense but seeing the songs/groups they are reacting to (granted i dont stan any of them) it seems like they’re actually mostly- #-reacting to the most popular groups and not necessarily the groups/cbs that deserves the attention #like it makes sense for them to be picky bc they’re a huge team and cant be mass producing tons of videos like some of these solo reactors #but it seems like instead of picking actually musically complex and interesting songs from lesser known/underrated groups theyre just- #-picking groups that will bring the most views. #i just scrolled thru their channel and nearly all the videos were reactions of popular 4th gen gps #essentially the only reactor i still enjoy watching to some degree is PD #But i still cant get over the fact that none of these reactors ever have anything other than praise to say abt evey song they react to #even I dont like EVERY song my bias group releases #so even when i watch a reaction of a song/mv i DO LIKE i dont know if the person is being genuine abt liking it #okay i think I’m done 🤔 #niki screaming into the void #long post

[thepalmofyourfreezinghand]

hello. Idk why I'm sending you this message and I just found out about your blog yesterday when I finally decided to check how things were over here. I guess you seem like a level headed person that would appreciate a bit of a different perspective. I know what I'm going to say might sound rough, but just know I don't think all of you are like this.

For a bit of context, I have listened to Taylor's music since Fearless. I'm pretty much an OG swiftie (except I'm not. More on that in a bit). But I never was involved in the fandom in any way. I enjoyed her music alone, know quite a few more personal things and interviews and that was it. Overall a pretty healthy chill experience. I think I consider myself something between a casual listener and a fan.

Shortly before 1989 was released, I kinda moved away from her new music. Pop music was never a favorite of mine and I did not enjoy what I heard from the first singles. So just decided to change interests for a while, but kept listening to her old music. So I missed a lot of drama in between thank goodness cause I hate it tbh.

I actually only came back around 2021 with the re-recordings because of Twitter. I learned a whole bunch about it, stuff that had happened in between and decided to listen to the albuns I missed in the process. In the meanwhile ofc I learned she seemed to finally be in a stable relationship and people seemed to like them. I was never that into her relationships so not much of a different to me. If anything I was glad she was in a healthier place, cause I remember seeing people commenting about the whole CH breakup and suddenly jumping to another TH and thinking girllll you are all about trying to be fine but you are not fine at all mental health wise. I guess you spot these things easier when you study psychology.

So...moving on to the actual reason I'm writing and to the present, I want to say that while I do like Taylor I like her music more. That and the fact that for a few reasons I don't consider myself a swiftie nor I interact with the fandom still today, I think gives me a more unbiased view. I also don't have much to say about Joe cause I know very little about me. This said, I was on Twitter and have been reading all the reactions since the news came out and...it has absolutely been a highly toxic environment to be in.

One of the reasons why I don't interact with the fandom is because I think in general is very toxic. When other fandoms say that, they are right. It's toxic and the way a lot of people see Taylor is unhealthy. The scariest part for me is that some people are aware of this, but feel proud of it.

I think one of the biggest problems for me is how you choose to have selective empathy, selective respect, selective principles. In your head Taylor does no wrong (and if she does, we'll figure a way out to defend right), and you preach for respect for her either because of body-shaming, offensive jokes or whatever it is. Yet that goes all out of the window when it's not about Taylor but someone else, other singer, one of her exes...whatever.

Selective empathy at its finest: Taylor's feelings matter but none else's.

And sometimes even her own fans disrespect her and are misogynists. The same thing they don't admit coming for someone else.

It completely baffles me the way this fandom harasses other people and is proud of it.

If there's one thing I pride myself of is being empathetic towards others, I think sometimes I am even too sensitive. Like I said I did not know much about their relationship, was not attached at all and yet I'm human. I shed quite a few tears, simply because of seeing other people sad and the feelings she out in her songs. Because I know all too well how our mental health takes a toll on us, how hard it is not to constantly overthink things when you've been hurt before, how easy it is to just assume always the worst and how absolutely devastating it is to see your fears coming true.

Yet I'm also a human who understands there's a lot of sides to the same story so I choose not to attack, but to understand. And when that's not possible or my understanding leaves a sour taste in my mouth, I try my best to let go because the reality is I don't know these people, I can't help them and I can really only imagine what they are feeling.

Maybe we should all sometimes have more self awareness to figure out when it's not healthy anymore and we're fighting other people's battles instead of our own.

Thank you so much for your perspective anon, and for typing this all out. I especially agree with the second to last paragraph.

I recently discovered quite a few people in my life are Taylor’s fans, and I simply never knew because they don’t talk about her, they don’t use their socials to defend her from sunrise to sunset, they don’t post frantically about whatever she’s up to, they don’t fight with others over her, they don’t engage in immature content, and they don’t obsess over her. And thus, they don’t create a toxic environment.

On my part, I’ve always followed her: from 2008 to 2012 I followed her from a distance or posted on very old websites for teens hahah, then I had a twitter account where I mostly talked about her in 2012-2016, then during rep era I kept the same level of love for her and her music, but I consumed content passively instead of engaging with it and with other fans actively. I was on Reddit for Lover/folkmore/the re-recordings, and now I’m here writing on Tumblr (I’ve read stuff on here since 2014 but I never engaged with anyone).

And let me tell you, my happiest moments as a Taylor fans are the ones where she’s not in the top 10 of my interests. I still listen to her music, I still read her interviews and watch the videos and save the pictures and think about her and care for her, but being in the trenches as a Taylor fan means being tired, angry and frustrated 24/7, and taking part in a toxic environment. So I think you’re doing the right thing!

[featheredcritter]

TALK TO ME ABOUT NICK MY DEARLY BELOVED MUTUAL

O_O oh hiii!! i shall put this under a read more because uh. it got long

Honestly one of the things I like to think\explore the most about Nick (but this goes for his whole species I suppose) is how different the world appears to him. He's a little guy, a prey animal, so the way he sees\interacts with the world is just so fundamentally different to a human. He might seem silly or unnecessary jumpy but for him even little things have a different impact on him, like the way a person moves, or how he can never be comfortable in a fully open room with no hides, or how he might "suddenly" or “for no reason” freak out, but instead something that might seem meaningless or insignificant to a human had startled him. Like everything can be so incredibly overwhelming in his pov!!!.

Even when perfectly safe and indoors he can’t help but look around and upwards constantly because his subconscious is always seeing invisible owls circling him, or how even in said safe and comfortable environment, he will still place himself in a way he can easily hide or escape if necessary. I even think his natural fear of humans still plays tricks on him sometimes, at which point it gets frustrating for Nick, because when he learns that humans are not bloodthirsty monsters he doesn't want to jump and be startled by their presence, plus the fact they have such different body language....yeah. Like you can't just look him in the eyes for too long or approach him confidently and directly or give him a toothy grin, especially when humans are so big to him, it freaks him out!!! but this feels like an easier thing to get around with just some clarifications and accommodations.

He does not have self esteem issues (if anything he's very proud of himself and his kind) but he is not confident, in the way he will hesitate to approach something he doesn't know or try new things even as a naturally curious person, because anything can mean danger to him, and he doesn't have the luxury of confidence that a human can have, like how some people will just pick up animals and shit and explore, He Can't Do That, in fact he thinks humans are out of their minds for their seemingly absence of self preservation instinct (untrue, especially considering the setting, but for Nick it still seems like that). Humans are confident!! They are tall and at the top, they don't have anything to fear, but Nick is at the bottom, he is jumpy and held back and cautious. (this also changes with the fact that humans in hl have very much LOTS to worry about between the combine and so on, they absolutely do not have all the freedom and laid back lives that Nick always thought they had, but the difference in…niche? is that a fair word to use? still makes this somewhat true).

I don't want to attribute all of this to Instinct, Nick is a pretty anxious man, but when you're in that position in nature you have to be full of natural phobias to keep yourself alive.Like I feel like I'm just rambling and struggling to convey what I mean but yeah T_T.

Or also i reaaally like to think about how he lives through the hl world. Like observing, studying and surviving alien wildlife, or scavenging an old, abandoned and infested building, or watching combine soldiers sweep the forest or being forced to listen to some rebels talk late at night because the place he wanted to take supplies from is still occupied. Like be them mundane or big things, just how he copes with the world he is in. And how he’s kinda ignorant of it too, he knows something happened, he knows the environment is not as healthy as it used to be, he watched species disappear before his eyes and lakes of toxic waste pool up around, he knows the humans are in a  vicious war, but other than that? no clue, he doesn’t know just how massive and critical the situation is, how global. His life is far from easy and safe, but at the same time it all seems so small to the magnitude of what’s going on on earth, he really is just a simple survivor having to face immense cosmic horrors that, at least before being explained everything, were far beyond his comprehension.

#ocs #Nick #asks #hi hi sorry for making you wait i wasn't quite sure what to talk about because i have MANY thoughts about him all so different #so i picked these #i have infinite words about him

[eclipsedshadowk]

What is it that you like about Salieri? When I was still in school it was mandatory to watch amadeus in music class and he was not really depicted in a favourable light imo, but I may have also forgotten some crucial parts. So what is it that you enjoy about him? (This is by no means shade)

First off, same with the mandatory watching of Amadeus. I honestly slept through it when I was 13-14 years old because I was depressed bean stuck in a toxic environment. I hate to admit that I wasn't a fan of the 1984 movie, though I don't mind watching it.

Second, it was Mozart L'opèra Rock that made me love Salieri so fucking much. I don't remember what made me love and hyperfixate on the guy. Salieri in Mozart L'opèra Rock has a kind of poetry to his character, even though it has some basis on Amadeus. His vibe somehow captured me and maybe the fact that his songs were easy to play on guitar kinda helped with that. He was enigmatic when he first appeared, @antoniosalieri's analysis on the guy made me open to the symbolisms of his songs and the guy was such a distinguished bi disaster, even though they made him quote on quote "sexually ambiguous".

But it was my curiosity on what's up with him and Mozart made me want to learn more about him and his life.

I learned that he was a crucial part of the entire history of classical music, being the teacher of such people who became famous like Beethoven, Schubert and Liszt, he taught people who aren't royalty for free, he handed out golden buttons to children who were impoverished as a roundabout way of helping. I learned that despite the rumors of him "poisoning" Mozart and their professional rivalry, they were still friends and Salieri still taught Franz Xaver, who was Mozart's youngest son. I learned that he became a father figure to his students and he was a loving father to his son and daughters (the death of Alois Engelbert in September of 1805 affected him so much that he became paralyzed and mute with grief). I learned he was taught of music by Gluck, Gassmann and his brother, Francesco, how as a child he seemed to have had a love for music and how likely it was that he had a prodigal talent of his own. I learned of how he is often tossed around like a hot potato before landing to Vienna when he became orphaned at 13-14 years old. I learned of other things too, like how he had a sweet tooth (to the point there were instances of Mozart calling him 'Signor Bonbonière'), how he sneaked out to see his brother perform in festivals which lead to him getting locked up by his father, how he jumped onto an old spinet because the owner was too frugal to replace the broken thing, how he often joked about having terrible German despite having lived there for most of his life ever since he was fifteen, small moments like him treating Schubert out and buying him ice cream.

I like some of the other interpretations of Salieri as well. Fate/Grand Order has an almost similar characterization to Mozart L'opèra Rock's, except more edgy and I love how Lostbelt 1 handled him. Classi9 clearly has an inspiration to Amadeus' but I somehow want to see more of this Salieri. I would like to know of Crash Fever's Salieri, but I like how Alice Fiction's Salieri is a break from the edgy anti-villain that was inspired by Amadeus, which in turn was inspired by Pushkin's. Alice Fiction's Salieri may look like a generic anime girl, but she's adorable and soft to me. Rhythmstar's Salieri may have kept the poisoning rumor, but I love how they kept him as a teacher and I can't wait to see the spin-off game where he is the main character, I kinda want to see ANB elaborate on him.

There's even a fucking musical on Salieri, but it's in Korean, with no subtitles and there's only clips of it available, so it's kinda sad, even though I want to see its story.

I don't quite remember what made me so hyperfixated on him, but damn do I love Antonio Salieri so fucking much