#can you imagine the panic

[nonranghaes]

warnings: spider mentions bc writer is terrified and needs to write comfort. this is idol au, btw. (also readers in a polyamorous relationship with both chris and felix, just a heads up)

chris jolts awake when he feels you tugging at his sleeve, barely opening his eyes by the time you speak up.

“christheresahugespidercanyoupleasegogetridofit--”

it’s... a lot. it’s clear that you’re terrified (although his brain hasn’t deciphered what you said yet), and he sits up, reaching out to pull you in. on the other side of the bed, he can feel felix stir from his own slumber--and he hears him stifle a yawn. chris just focuses on you, though, “honey--”

you sniffle, fingers dinging into his arm as you hold him by the forearms, “please go get it before it moves--”

he doesn’t even have to decipher what you said anymore. he knows only one thing gets you this scared, and he gently pulls you in further until you’re actually sitting on the bed. “it’s okay,” he says, “i’ll go catch it. don’t worry,” he presses a kiss onto the crown of your head, getting out of bed. “i won’t come back until it’s gone, okay?”

you nod frantically, and chris mumbles felix’s name to rouse him further. felix turns over, gaze meeting chris’s--although he quickly nods toward you, redirecting the attention--and he understands. he kicks off the blankets, crawling over to you as chris takes his leave as designated-spider-getter.

“it’s okay,” he murmurs softly, drawing you in for a hug. “chris will get it.”

your breath hitches, and felix can feel as you start to cry. it’s a frustrating fear to have--felix knows, as does chris, because you’ve cried to them before about how you wish you could just be normal about those eight-legged little things--and you know that they’re far more afraid of you than you are of them. or, well, that’s what everyone tells you. you haven’t seen a spider have a breakdown because of you, but what do you know?

he holds you, gently tracing hearts on your back as he lets you cry your fears out. felix’s lips press against your softly, just for a second, before he pulls you in again. he draws your face into his shoulder, gently talking you through it. when he finally draws back, once your cries have stifled, he begins searching around.

“where’s bbokari...?” he mumbles. when he and chris are away, the plushies they gave you take their place (... alongside the others, sometimes, but you don’t tell them about that since you’ll never live it down). he moves, patting around until he hears chris come back. “hey,” he calls out, voice raspy with sleep, “do you see bbokari?”

chris stops for a moment with a “hm?” but looks over to your dresser where the group was last assembled. he reaches for the little chick, tossing him over to felix. he returns to bed soon enough after felix moves out of the way, gently guiding you back to the middle of the bed by the arm. he’s pushed bbokari into your arms, and already snuggled in next to you as chris pulls the blankets back over you all.

“it’s okay,” chris presses a kiss against your shoulder. “it’s gone. i took it outside. we’ll protect you, baby.” there’s a teasing lift to his voice, but you know he genuinely means it. 

“mmhm,” felix sounds, planting a soft kiss against your lips. “we’ve got you,” he promises. “alright?”

you snuggle in, both of your boyfriends cuddling in to keep you as safe as they can. it takes you a while to get back to sleep... but it helps to have your silly saviors nearby, always happy to catch and release the spiders and soothe you with as many kisses as it takes.

#nonranghaes.skz #nonranghaes.thoughts #stray kids x reader #skz x reader #stray kids imagine #skz imagine #stray kids x you #skz x you #bang chan x you #bang chan x reader #felix x reader #felix x you #lee felix x reader #lee felix x you #chris bang x reader #chris bang x you #there was a fucking huge one in the bathroom and u can imagine my fear :))) #i almost cried :))) #i fucking wish i could just be Normal scared abt big things like that but my brain is like nope!! nope!!! panic!!! cry!!!! #tbh i nearly had a lil poly minsung fic. i might still idk #nonranghaes.poly

[venomgaia]

Detonation imminent

Based off something that happened in my first playthrough of act 3. a heads up would have been nice, Larian!!

ft. the winner of this encounter

#baldurs gate 3 #bg3 #tav #astarion #lord enver gortash #rhylolin/lobo (oc) #you can imagine my panic when everyone got up from a long rest #and suddenly theres ghouls dying #loud explosions. and notificstiond thst LORD ENVER GORTASH is doing damage to astarion and my tav #GENUINELY CONCERNED ME UNTIL I REALIZED WHAT HAD HAPPENED LMFAO #YOUVE WON THIS BATTLE POST MORTEM GORTASH BUT I STILL WON THE WAR #bg3 spoilers #driftoodles

[imrllytootiredforthis]

sub yuta okkotsu agenda 😔

no bc i got THOUGHTS, i got so many thoughts about my babygirl named yuuta okkotsu, you don't even UNDERSTAND how badly i want him

him in the movie-*aggressive eye twitch*, his big sweet innocent puppy eyes-fuck it just *short circuits*

AND THEN afterwards when he's his anxious, tired, emo self (me too fr), like he's still just my cutie patootie and it's a literal CRIME how little sub fics of him there are bc take one look at that baby AND TELL ME that he is a daddy dom in bed-you'd be lying to yourself and me-and we do not tolerate lying in this house

no but fr, he is not domming for his life. a service top-perhaps, he would still cry a lot though and if you were making HIM fuck YOU he would beg for you to just take over, his arms shaking on either side of your head as he tries to make you feel good. because it's not the same like this-he wants you to fuck him, he wants to ride you as your hands grope over his body, he wants to pinned against a wall and fucked hard and rough within an inch of his life.

babyboy just wants to be loved and taken care of by his so

#inbox💌 #he's probably my second favourite character in jjk #after geto (my literal wife) #but like i'm not even done talking abt him but i gotta shut up before i talk too much and can't stop😭 #don't even get me started on HIM AND MAKI #god i want her so bad too #they are the bi panic #imagine tagteaming him with maki #and he just dumbly takes it all like a good boy😫 #“i can take it~” #“m' a good boy-right?” #YES YOU"RE A FUCKING GOOD BOY #I WANNA EAT HIM UPPPP #sub yuuta #hard thoughts #dom reader #yuuta x reader #yuuta okkotsu smut #yuta smut #yuuta okkotsu x reader #jjk smut #sub jjk #sub jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Late Night Talking

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #MDZS #wei wuxian #lan wangji #This scene had massive 'we are the only two people still up at the sleepover' energy #thought let me set the record straight; wwx doesn't open up in the scene. He fully deflects #Nor does LWJ play with ants B*( #I wanted to merge the two scenes a bit that's all #My OG script was a bit funnier but it broke continuity so rip (i.e: wwx outright stated 'remember when YOU...' in reference to the ants) #also rip to lwj saying 'hey U up?' like he's texting his crush. I hope the spirit is still there #We all know lwj sticks to his 9pm bedtime no matter what #and wouldn't be traditionally texting on a cellphone #He wakes up at 4:30 am to go for a run #gets home at 5:30 to use the lan household computer to go on his shared google doc with wwx and comments 'are you still awake?' #cause lets me real. wwx might also keep a steady sleep schedule but at least he *can* pull an all-nighter #Can you imagine lwj at a sleepover? I admit to being the kid who went to bed and woke up 3-4 hours before the others #you either get fed up and wake someone else up for enrichment - or plan ahead to bring a book - or Walk Home #I fully missed out on all that deep heart to heart stuff. I usually was the one to go 'guysssss we are gonna get in troubleeee go to sleep' #wait this is too much sleepover talk I need to talk about wwx in the last panel. It's a mix of panic and pride. #He's just at the beginning of realizing this guy has changed a lot in 13 years #gonna be a while before more comic pages get posted but they're ready to go in the queue! #(I'm still posting other stuff daily though!)

[crystalflygeo]

Safeword. ft Zhongli + fem!reader

cw/tags: a bit of anxiety/panic attack, bit of dirty talk but it's all praise, bit of nipple play and fingering, safeword use, bondage (tied arms, blindfold) hurt/comfort, aftercare, just reader in general dealing with negative feelings but being comforted PLEASE BE WARNED IF THIS MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE. READ THE TAGS.

notes: I literally just woke up and wrote this in a rush in my phone lmao what. Listen my mood jumps between depressed and horny and I've always loved safeword use and aftercare done right, it is very important and intimate. Also who doesn't want Zhongli softly soothing and kissing them? I almost made this gender neutral reader but I ended up being self indulgent so sorry.

Everything felt hot, too hot, but not in a good way. It was... sticky, ah, uncomfortable.

You squirm a little, shifting on your legs until you feel Zhongli's hands slowly caress your skin, making you shiver. His breath fans your neck "Good girl.” He mumbles at your shoulder, and kisses there.

Yes, this was fine. This is what you wanted, to just let go and release that pent up energy.

Right?

"Hmm... you've been so stressed lately, darling, haven't you?" His strong hands start massaging and kneading at your shoulders and you groan, it feels pretty good.

Until one of his palms lowers to your chest and starts playing with one of your nipples and you hiss. It hardens under his attention, sure, but feels... odd, it kind of hurts.

You shift again awkwardly, and the rope holding your wrists together digs into your skin.

You don't know what's wrong but something is. You don't feel the same lightheadedness as usual, in fact you're hyperaware, parted lips panting but the pressure is not on your lower belly, it’s at your chest instead. It feels cold, empty, oppressive.

Your hands clench into fists and you whimper.

Zhongli kisses around your chest down to your navel and that feels good too, tender, loving. His voice soothes you, even though you feel oddly disconnected.

"You look so beautiful my dear, laid out like this."

Did you really? The anxiety starts gnawing at you, body tense. Your mind is far away, going over some dumb mistake you made some days ago, some stupid thing you said last week...

You've been so frustrated lately, feeling sad, and angry, and disappointed and-

Zhongli's thumb circles over your clit and you gasp and keen, hips jerking on reflex.

Oh. That felt good, but-

But then why did you feel so wrong?

"Z-Zhongli." You hiccup. Voice wobbly, you feel your eyes start to water. What is wrong with you? You're suffocating. Choked up. Sweaty and awkward and-

His fingers dip inside you and you clench on them, crying out.

"Fuck... Y/N you're so tight." He rasps.

It's too much, you can't, you can't-

"Hng r-red. Red!"

In an instant you feel the mattress dip and shift with his weight as Zhongli quickly takes off your blindfold, and just like that the damn breaks. You start crying and hyperventilating as he curses and immediately frees your hands.

"Y/N, my love, are you alright? I'm so sorry." He starts, and though his voice is leveled as ever you can feel the slight stutter of panic. "It's alright, everything is okay, I'm sorry."

You shake your head, crying into your hands, you want to tell him it's not him. It's never him. But words fail you, you breath stutters.

You know he won't touch you without explicit permission, so you lean into him, your smaller frame trembling as you press closer to his chest. You need this. You need him.

"May I embrace you darling?" You nod frantically and feel his arms curl around you just so slightly, as to not make you feel trapped. One of his hands sweeps your hair over your shoulder and starts rubbing circles on your back, soft. "Is this alright?" He asks.

You nod and try to find your voice again "S-sorry. Sorry... don't k-know... wh-what's wrong."

Zhongli shushes you gently. "Please my love breathe, focus on calming down, slowly. It's ok. Just breathe. I'm so glad you used your safeword. You did well."

You placed a hand at your chest feeling your fast paced heartbeat and trying to calm down a little, regulating your breathing, leaning onto his comfortable touch and words.

You made Zhongli worry, you panicked out of nowhere and still don't know why, you feel dumb, needy, annoying. "S-sorry I'm-" You sob. "Don't know what's wrong...” You repeat unable to find words to express that creeping cold numb feeling that took hold you. “Please d-don't be upset." You add quietly.

You hear him sigh, his hand never stopping tracing soft shapes on your skin. "May I kiss you?" He asked instead and you gave a weak nod. Zhongli planted a soft kiss on your hair, on your forehead. "My dear, I would never be upset. I love you. I'd never wish to make you uncomfortable, I'm sorry I didn't notice in time." Zhongli sighs again, heavy. "But right now, I need you to calm down, you don't have to explain or apologize at all, what matters is that you're safe, and I'm here for you for anything you need."

Your eyes flutter close and minutes pass by while he holds you, whispering sweet nothings, your breathing calming down to a steady rhythm. You place a small fleeting kiss against his shoulder and he replied by nuzzling at the top of your head. After a while, you shift and look up at him, red puffy eyes staring at his beautiful cor lapis ones.

"Better?" He asks, swiping his thumb over your cheek tenderly. You nod. "Would you like to eat something? Or I can prepare a bath for you?"

Oh he's so doting, your heart flutters. "Zhongli I'm- I'm sorry I didn't want to make you worry." You can see he's holding back from objecting again but lets you continue. "It's just... I've been so stressed lately and I thought, if we... played... I could let out all that. I-It did feel good! But then it was just... too much. I don't know." You avert your gaze. “It wasn’t you I promise, I just got overwhelmed and everything felt… wrong.”

Zhongli caresses your cheek with his knuckles softly "As I said, you have nothing to apologize for dear, and I'm glad you spoke up. I'd be happy to offer you whatever support you want and take care of you. You're beautiful, hardworking, strong, kind, and I love you."

You feel your cheeks heat slightly and let out a small smile. You're truly literally blessed to have him. "C-Can I... take you up on that bath offer?"

He chuckles, and it's so refreshing. "Of course." He kisses you again and you nuzzle into his touch this time.

"I love you too, Zhongli. Thank you."

#genshin smut #zhongli smut #zhongli x reader #zhongli x you #genshin x reader #genshin x you #genshin impact smut #genshin impact imagines #genshin imagines #crys writes #fem reader #please I don't know if I can/should tag this as anxiety or panic or what those terms are lost to me #I've had those feelings and symptoms I just don't know what to call them and don't want to be wrong #man how I wish I had someone to shush and care for me during those times//hit #like you just crave some affection and intimacy you know? #also Zhongli would be the absolute best at caring for his partner's boundaries fight me #man is the god of *contracts* #and he's so kind and tender and aaaaaaaaaaa

[introspectivememories]

cannot stop thinking about how jealous tye hearts and strawhats must be of each other because like imagine you're a strawhat. your captain is in the middle of a war and sees his brother die in front of him. you and your crewmates are scattered across the globe with no way to reach him. you don't even know if he's still alive until months later when he reappears on the front page of the newspaper with message for you guys. later when you're all reunited with a new alliance on the way, you find out that this weird ass pirate and his crew was there post war. weird ass pirate and his crew patched your captain up. weird ass pirate and his crew was there in your captain's darkest hour and you weren't. it should've been you by his side and it wasn't. and on the hearts side of things, your captain leaves you behind to fight his abuser. he does not let you come with him. you live on a submarine. you've all seen each other at your worst moments. you've seen how much doflamingo scares your captain. you've been working on this plan for fucking years and instead of letting you stand by the man you have chosen to follow he sends you away and instead takes strawhat's crew as backup. you dont even know if he's alive until the news comes out. strawhat luffy and his crew were there as your capatain faced his abuser and you weren't. it should've been you by his side and it wasn't.

#i think the hearts and the strawhats are great friends!!! but i do think they resent each other occasionally #like chopper sanji zoro nami. those people met ace!!! they knew him!!! imagine seeing him die in luffy's arms and know that you cnat #go to your captain!!! you cant hold him and let him break down in your arms. you cant take care of him!!!! #and shachi peng and bepo most especially!!! they've been with law since the beginning!!!!! #imagine knowing that your capt/brother/friend is going to face is abuser and you cant be by his side!!! #and it's not even that you cant be by his side it's that he wont let you!!!! he sends you away and you just have to hope that the #strawhats are taking care of him. #on that note i think the heart pirates have seen each other at their worst. they live on a sub. how many places can you realistically hide? #i feel like everyone has caught law in a panic attack atp. it's a right of passage atp. talk capt out of a panic attack. he'd do it for the #anyway tagging time #trafalgar d water law #monkey d luffy #heart pirates #straw hat pirates #op #trafalgar law

[saturncodedstarlette]

I want to read fem!Gojo Satoru gf fics so bad 😭 she’s so gorgeous. it’s a crime there’s not fics abt this gorgeous woman

I keep daydreaming abt her being a sugar mommy to her beloved 😔😍🥰

I lov toll wamen 😔😩

Ok but what about a threesome with fem Gojo n regular gojo 🤔

Original Artist : @Cheese_430 On Twitter

Original Artist : khouxy on Instagram

#Gojo Satoru #Jjk #jjk gojo satoru #Female Gojo #👏I NEED FEM GOJO HCS OR FICS👏 #BI PANIC‼️‼️ #I WANT TO KISS N HOLD HER WHILE HER PRETTY MANICURE FINGERS RUNS THRU MY HAIR 😩😩 #SHE WILL ALWAYS BE TOLL NO MATTER GENDER #CAN U IMAGINE HER GLITTERY PINK GLOSSED LIPS WHEN SHE SMILES OR SMIRKS #I WANT BOTH FEM N MALE GOJO TO KISS ME ON EACH CHEEK #girls girls girls #LET ME KISS MY WIFE 😭😭💖🧿 #Being bi in this world is hard 😔 but also rewarding #Gojo Satoru x reader #Gojo Satoru x you #if there’s fanarts of her there should be fics as well 👏👏 #My 2023 works #🧋| my blorbos

[songofdefiance]

there's never going to be a game made about apollo's work in khura'in but if there WAS

nahyuta: hey so we're not facing off in court anymore

apollo: huh, why not?

nahyuta: turns out like 70% of the prosecutors were corrupt so we're kind of short-staffed, and i have other duties too

apollo: i mean yeah, makes sense. you work too hard as it is. who am i facing instead though

nahyuta, pointedly ignoring apollo's remark: a prosecutor i met during my travels, who graciously agreed to serve in khura'in during this transition. i was impressed by her work ethic and her investigative skills.

apollo, getting a bad feeling: okay...

next day, court's in session, apollo looks at who's behind the prosecutor's bench.

it's franziska von karma.

#ace attorney #apollo justice #nahyuta sahdmadhi #franziska von karma #amaya talks #look i just think this would be really funny #apollo calls phoenix during recess in a panic #phoenix briefly reverts back to beanix behavior and just laughs at him #also can you imagine #her and rayfa

[tangledinink]

SO I HAD A THOUGHT ABOUT THE TWO MOST RECENT SWANATELLO UPDATES.

What if part of the reason Swannie reacts so violently every time Draxum comes is because Draxum reminds Odette of Rothbert?

That is absolutely what's going on.

#its a combination of pinging something in 'odette' #and also the lake itself #but yeah like. as far as theyre concerned (with their limited abilities to perceive the world around them) draxum p much IS rothbart #and therefore a massive threat #and needs to be dealt with immediately #so you can imagine the panic swanatello was feeling when he showed up at his lake during this arc :D #swanatello #asks #anon

[jakkenpoy]

ref

#one piece #water 7 #can you imagine if iceburg has to regularly search the bed for tyranno if he cant find the little guy. in panic #with a bed that huge...i mean!! #on the other hand i also think he has enough faith in tyranno that he trusts the mouse will show up later when it wants to #my art #opfanart #op tyrannosaurus #iceburg #mayor iceburg

[idk-bruh-20]

Irondad fic ideas #132

Peter loses so many backpacks, Tony starts numbering them like his suits: "backpack mark 5," "backpack mark 13," "here you go kid, backpack mark 49."

#irondad fic ideas #irondad and spiderson #trackers have been a thing as early as mark 3 #some backpacks they do manage to retrieve #others.. let's just say not all dumpster-stink fabrics are salvageable #if panic buttons have been included in every single version since mark 1 what of it #peter parker #tony stark #iron dad and spider son #irondad fic idea #also imagine all the problem-solving tony would try to do lmao #backpack mark 20 can fly itself home #(tragically KO'ed by a bird 😔 RIP) #mark 38 borrows scott's shrinking stuff so peter can just take it on patrol with him #(fell somewhere while swinging- never to be seen again) #tony: what if I made a secret bunker for you? you could just put your backpack in the same secure place each time? #peter: dumpsters are a spider-man tradition mr. stark 😇 #tony (tearing his hair out): WHAT ABOUT A BUNKER DISGUISED AS A DUMPSTER? would you use it?? demon child???? #queueueueue

[fisheito]

wait. puss in boots rei? unfulfilled dream? as.. as in. kinda like. a last wish.? like. the last puss in boots movie.? perrito garu?????

#OK BUT ANYONE WHO HAS SEEN THE LAST PUSSBOOTS MOVIE. YOU CAN SEE IT RIGHT?? #THE REI WHO HAS LOST ALMOST ALL 9 OF HIS LIVES AND A GOOD BOY GARU TO KEEP HIM GROUNDED?? #garu who has been thru the horrors but still maintains his loving upbeat demeanour #who would throw him away. 😢 no. we take the gkaru and we cherish them #seriously my folktale knowledge is so lacking. there has to be an actual story rei is based on yes? #mumbles while reading the wiki article... helps his commoner master marry a princess? awhua??? #does that sound like something rei would want? hm. curious #i'll sit in my delusional world where rei puss in boots is the one with perrito and scawwy cool death wolf #my mind briefly entertained the idea of eiden as kitty softpaws but i couldn't imagine him fighting alongside rei at equal swordsmanship #....does REI have good swordsmanship? is he even a fighter? or is he more the type to throw flaming potions from afar #anyway yes eiden can be a street-smart smart alecky cat but can he fence? no? then no kitty softpaws for now #garu helping rei come down from a panic attack 🥺 #rei has no feather on his cap. it is JUST Father. he looks like a feather until he unfurls his true form and becomes the orb atop the cap #nu carnival garu #nu carnival rei

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Fantasy Wally but he talks to everyone like this one tumblr post I can’t find where the warlock calls the party “chat” and the god/demon patron “mod(s)”

“Hey mod this guy’s being mean. Kick em.”

*bandit dies a thousand deaths in the span of a millisecond*

Something like that 😂

this Immediately made me picture Wally & Home making a (poorly set up & executed) joke where Frank is being A Lot while Home is unfolded and Wally just goes "mod, chat is being too loud. ban them" & Home fully grabs Frank and starts to drag him into the building

#barnaby saw the joke. he's wheezing #sally julie and howdy are also laughing bc they see barn's reaction and go Ohhhh Theyre Fuckin Around #but i imagine everyone else Panics lmfaooo #frank's fully convinced home has had enough and is about to eat his soul #wally - dying inside - has to Apologize #that terrible feeling when you try to make a joke or do a bit but it goes the Opposite way... eugh #wh fantasy au #rambles from the bog #frank: and THATS why we can't take this job! because- #home: *fuckign Gets Him* #frank: *screaming* #im finding i like thinking about how home interacts with everyone. what sort of dynamics might arise... #wally allowing home to posess him so it can try out one of julie's games <3 #home almost immediately taps out <3 #ALSO I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT POST YOU'RE REFERENCING. I LOVE THAT POST. THANK YOU

[mokutone]

your art makes me wanna start testosterone

i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!

i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.

i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)

It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!

It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.

it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.

having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).

i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.

how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)

when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)

it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"

I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.

(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)

(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)

#yamswers #anonymous #dysphoria discussion #q slur — only because i literally use it in the noun form most associated w/ dehumanization #i love that u asked this on a tuesday. thank u for asking this on a tuesday #happy testosterone tuesday to all who celebrate #i also got top surgery a while ago—which is responsible for about 50% of my average suicidal idealizations vanishing #because my chest was my second biggest site of dysphoria after my voice #it was far less painful than i dared imagine. and far more satisfying. i had an excellent and lucky recovery #my results aren't perfect but oh man. the joy of being able to press my hand (flat) to my chest (flat). #the way that a binder mimics the exact squeeze around my lungs that a panic attack stimulates— #not feeling that when i'm out in public? thank you modern medicine. thank you. oh my god. no more false flag panic attacks #i had to fight my insurance for two years and all the health providers i contacted told me the hoops i was being made to jump through #seemed utterly ridiculous. and it was still gobs of money but i got it. so grateful u cannot even imagine #a lot of people describe their feelings post op as “relief—finally i could see myself” #but i experience...more delight than relief. joy. is joy the absence of pain or the presence of happiness? can i tell the difference? #on my worst days i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on my heart. and i can lay a hand on

[jamiesgotchu]

Why is it that in SO MANY horror games, the jumpscares are..... targeted

my fellow phasmophobia gamers know the death animation, and uhhhhh,,

how we feelin tkl community

not to mention moon's jumpscare from security breach:

hoooohoho

#okay IMAGINE if you will #phasmophobia but when you get caught its just tickles instead of death #your teammates can hear your muffled laughter on the second level and they panic #because they know theyre next:3 #JUUUUUST SAYIN #tickle community #jamie'srants #sfw tickles #sfwtickles #sfwtks #sfwtwords #tickling community

[plaguedocboi]

Watching reruns of old reality tv shows when I’m bored really proves how ridiculous and manufactured the whole drag queen bans/trans panic is. There was an episode of project runway in 2008 where they styled for drag queens. Rupaul’s drag race has been on since 2009. There was a dance moms episode in 2018 where drag queens taught the class and did the girl’s makeup. They have literally always been around and always been on tv and no one except the most conservative religious fundies cared at all until 3 months ago.

#like literally no one cared! even the conservative rich moms on dance moms were like ‘oh how fun they brought in drag queens!’ #can you fucking imagine the chaos if a show like that tried that now #it’s so stupid. I’m killing everyone who participates in this dumbass manufactured panic