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femmefatalevibe · 9 months

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Femme Fatale Guide: How To Decenter Men In Your Life

Consider the values, goals, and desired lifestyle that feel most authentic to you if social scripts/stigmas didn't apply to you

Take time to become radically honest with your desires as an individual – outside of the perception of men, your family, boss, teachers, peers, etc.

Cultivate a sense of personhood and identity established in your interests, hobbies, skillsets, learning capabilities, creativity, and desire for growth in all aspects of life

Act in your own best interests. Speak up for your needs, and advocate for yourself. Be more "selfish." Don't apologize for what you want and go after it. Act in your own best interests

Become confident in negotiating, assertive communication, and standing on your own two feet. Establish relationships in all aspects that are based on mutual benefit and equitable exchange

Unlearn your self-sacrificing & people-pleasing. Stop shrinking yourself or suppressing your needs to make others feel better or more comfortable

Validate yourself: your needs, desires, goals, dreams, preferences, and opinions. You need to choose yourself every day. Your appeal to others means nothing if you don't like the person you are or are becoming to satisfy the needs or desires of others

Consider the ways you're consciously and subconsciously confining your self-expression and belief system to fit the mold/appease the patriarchy. Actively work to deconstruct this mentality and way of being

Be honest with yourself about how men enrich your life. Not the other way around. Do they fulfill you romantically, sexually, both, or neither? There's no right or wrong answer, except the one that requires you to put on a performance rather than live in alignment with your true self

More resources including book recommendations/creators to follow HERE.

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heterorealism · 5 months

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#decentering men #feminism #why women quit dating #dating meme #feminist dating #dating culture #gender #heterorealism

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dworkinsdaughter · 2 months

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#decentering men #womens liberation #radfem #radfem safe #radfems do touch #radical feminism #radical feminists please interact #feminism #feminist #feminist art

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uter-us · 7 months

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there are way too many comments like this:

why must the burden of domestic labor always be w the woman

#weaponized incompetence #radfem #radical feminist safe #sex based oppression #male socialization #male entitlement #female separatism #decentering men #centering women #radical feminism

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raisedbythetv89 · 14 days

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Sometimes I just sit and imagine what btvs could have been like if the women characters and their perspectives were TRULY centered and what all could have been.

How much wasn’t explored

How angel gets his own show but is completely reliant on the presence of Cordelia and the most interesting story lines revolve around her, darla, and drusilla. And how they needed Spike, the most female gaze male character, to even have a 5th season

How Riley gets to live and be a hero with a hot badass wife but Tara, Anya, and Kendra all are dead

How much xander’s abusive, toxic monologues passing judgment on everyone but himself often serve as the “facts or true reality” of the narrative rather than the rantings of a jealous, bitter, repressed, weak and pathetic boy

So much of the show is about a woman but still with men and men’s opinions, needs, desires at the center. We can see jane and marti’s efforts to center women’s narratives more especially in season 6 and 7 but much like I mourn what the first 32 years of my life could have been without patriarchy, what could have been for this show with so many incredible women that left so much potential unrealized.

Fan fiction is a reclamation of this lost potential. It’s a powerful and radical thing to do. Correcting the narrative to center who should have been centered all along heals the parts of us society wants us to neglect within ourselves for the sake of men (or straight people or white people or cis people) and their own narratives. It’s a way to decenter men not only in our real life spaces but our fictional ones too

#female gaze #decentering men #btvs #cordelia #tara mclay #kendra young #kendra btvs #drusilla btvs #darla btvs #anti riley finn #anti xander harris #anti angel #buffy summers

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vivaciousofficiall · 5 months

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#decentering men #selflove #divine feminine #high value woman #black girl luxury #goddess #femininity

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letters-of-libertas · 4 months

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I'm bi and yeah your note on women not having solidarity seems sadly true. Apart from not dating men would there be anything you would suggest to improve ones life apart from stating away from those women if possible?

I love this question because this is how to start thinking: being practical.

What it takes to "improve ones life" is subjective so with that said firstly define what a better life(style) for yourself away from moids would look like. Temporarily mentally remove xy terrorist existence. What would your habits/routine be? What would you work towards & pour your energy into? What would you want to be? What would you center your life around? Take your time with these questions or anymore that come up. Have a general idea then be more specific and start breaking your life down into sectors/sections/areas, then look at where you want to be in those areas and work towards it.

For example; I divide my life into 6-7 aspects:

Physical Strength - Not just about muscle but knowing how to fight, where to hit and when to fight. Being stronger makes it easier to defend yourself in altercations (especially with other women). Some mfs will try you & you cant always rely on others coming to your rescue. Also work on building stamina to help endurance, and keeping as healthy as possible.

Emotional Strength - If you cant control your emotions they will control you. In a world of chaos being emotionally strong will let you cut through the noise and focus on what truly matters. Building emotional strength is not easy but it's worth it. Being able to rise above immediate reactions and pace yourself will allow you to assess situations more rationally & make more beneficial choices.

Finances - Get your bag up. Having money to gain resources is imperative to quality of life. I dont care what anyone says having a certain amount of money in life WILL make you happier as you're able to meet your needs better. Having more money/resources also makes it easier to support other women should you choose to do so, it also allows you to be more influential and have more control over your life. However, dont become a slave to getting money tho because that's how you get scammed.

Network - The type of people you hang around can make or break who you are as a person. Aim to connect with likeminded women who will encourage & inspire you as you go on this journey. Hang around people that value & will be honest with you while giving you grace. Not all women you engage with have to be single & childfree but beware the moid crazy ones because they will bring danger to you in their quest for maIe validation. Life isn't perfect but you cant go wrong having the right people around you, valuable relationships are hard to find but it goes a long way even if it's just online. However, no company > bad company.

Spirituality/Guide - Having something bigger than yourself to guide you through the chaos in this world can offer guidance/purpose that keeps you grounded & focused. For many people generally this is religion/god. Not everyone needs or ascribes to religion/spirituality though, but at least consider sets of morals/beliefs to follow. However even that isn't for everyone. So if you feel better off without spirituality or a 'higher' guide at least be clear on it & your reasons why (for yourself).

Hobbies & Interests - As turbulent as the world is, find things to enjoy amidst the chaos. Constant work, doom, and gloom will not change anything you will only hurt yourself. Take time to indulge in things that make you happy to recharge & relax. Engage in hobbies that serve you, share your passion with other women & hear theirs out too. It goes a long way in terms of mental health.

Security - It takes privilege to decide to not get married or have children as a woman & live it out. Everyone's situation is different so what I'll generally suggest is to constantly look into how you can protect yourself, have backup methods, and stay in the loop of xy predation. Dont drown in it but moids are predators & being completely blind to them is being blind to danger. Elaborated on point 10 here.

Sounds like a lot? Great, it'll keep you busy because this isn't a vacation or destination but a lifestyle. And to be honest, some of y'all can do with the busyness as it'll let you focus on what actually matters. This not to say to overwhelm yourself in things for the sake of it but to prioritise your energy on effective things for your life. As you focus on building you'll find that you have less energy to care about insignificant stuff or stuff out of your control anyways. For example, Instead of getting wound up about user somerandomadjectivefem stirring discourse calling you an extremist or whining about how impossible it is for her & other women to live without romantic love n' whatnot (or even women irl pulling this crap), you either ignore or quickly shut down the conversation & swiftly move on.

Everything I've mentioned are just examples, you may feel differently do whatever you feel best applies. Also remember to enjoy the process along the way as you are living through it afterall :3

Long story short: Work on building resources & other aspects of your life up for yourself.

#Many tend to shy away from the single childfree lifestyle bc the traditional map/railguards aren't there but thats the fun part of it #for me is figuring it out; figuring myself & the world out; trial-and-error to carve an environment & lifestyle best for me #Few side notes bc I dont want the blog to be too long:#Regarding physical strength: I know that no amount of training will make you as strong as the average moid but it isnt in vain #as other women can also act up & there's a higher chance of taking them on successfully without weapons vs xys.#Regarding section on being busy: Personally I dont care for discourse surrounding this topic because my mind is on other things like making #sure my reps for the day are in; making sure I'm staying up-to-date with knowledge I need to do my job; building sources of income #outside of my job;engrossing myself in my interests; for example. You become productively busy enough & what other women do doesnt bother #you. That's not to say completely ignore or not criticise moid-aligned actions; but dont spend too much time wallowing in doing so.#female separatist #female separatism #blackpill feminism #blackpill feminist #wineauntmovement #wine aunt #decentering men

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pollinateme · 5 months

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"the trouble was, i hated the idea of serving men in any way"

-Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar

#sylvia plath #the bell jar #i hate men #decentering men #book quote #feminism

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michellezagenda · 6 months

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i don’t really care if you’re a woman and you have a better time making friends with males. prioritize making friends with WOMEN, prioritize keeping them around & making your relationship stronger…. some women who prefer males don’t even try with other women and it’s so embarrassing

#radblr #women #decentering men

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diosa-loba · 7 months

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🖤🔥🌹🔥🖤

#decentering men #garden #soul place #sisterhood #wolfpack #divine feminine #dark feminine energy

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femmefatalevibe · 9 months

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What advice/resources would you recommend for someone who is trying to decentralize her life from men (or really anybody other than herself)?

Any books/videos/advice/etc. that you have would be great!

Thanks! Your blog helps me so much xo

Hi love! I'm so glad to hear this <3. Sharing some tips/resources below. Hope this helps xx

How To Decenter Men In Your Life: