#divorce is murder

[comradekatara]

some possible career paths for toph to go down that are not fundamentally antithetical to her character and everything she stands for:

sculptor

architect/construction worker (she designs it and then erects it, all within an hour)

earthbending teacher but if u have bad vibes she kicks u out of her school

zuko’s personal lie detector / court politics navigator

sokka’s research assistant

(mean but highly effective) therapist

idle rich public intellectual

anarchist private investigator who gathers a bunch of suspects in a room and gleefully exposes all their secrets (even the irrelevant ones) just to stir up drama. and then leaves

badgermole whisperer

#toph #postwargaang #toph&zuko #sokka&toph #like toph COULD MAYBE be a cop if she was like. a cop in the way poirot is a cop #basically just a professional shit stirrer who uses her uncanny people reading skills to solve murders #but then she’d quit after like a year bc the thought of ppl getting arrested due to her intervention upsets her #so she then mostly just sticks to exposing husbands cheating on their wives #bc she LOVES being responsible. for divorce :)

[lobotomyladylives]

the jodi arias/travis whoever murder was truly the ultimate fuck around and find out situation, like...ok so you're gonna willingly continue to associate with a woman you know is mentally ill and obsessed with you just so that you can have degrading sex with her while also constantly insulting and ridiculing her to your friends behind her back? stringing her along w/the hope of a serious relationship, while you really just think of her as an object for you to fuck & then discard with no consequences? lol. bet. hope you like being stabbed 37 times

#i dont feel even slightly bad for saying this. check the comments under any murdered woman and there will be men blaming her #especially if it was her husband who did it and ESPECIALLY if she was trying to divorce him #so yeah. unlike those women travis had it coming #that mormon moron was a degen #jodi arias #LX3 op

[sentientsky]

he turns the drinks he ordered into wine and then just cries loudly in the McDonald’s parking lot while blasting olivia rodrigo

bonus!

#let’s pretend I know how to draw hair #tumblr rly murdered the quality #click for better resolution #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #good omens 2 #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable lovers #go2 #ineffable wives #good omens season 2 #ineffable divorce #good omens memes #Neil gaiman #david tennant #michael sheen #go2 spoilers #good omens meme #good omens shitpost #gomens #gomens2 #gomens 2 #aziraphale x crowley #crowley x aziraphale #image id in alt text

[mysillyside]

Domestic Lawlight is so funny to me these two would be the most annoying insufferable argumentative difficult couple ever.

Here's how I imagine a "Light asks L to help with basic chores" conversation going (they've been married for years):

Light: Hey L, take out the trash today.

L: I don't want to.

Light: Ok? I fail to see how that's relevant. I didn't want to spend my entire morning cleaning your smelly roach infested room, but I did anyway. Would it kill you to at least not throw your candy wrappers on the floor? You have a bin you know. Two bins.

L: I was planning to pick up the wrappers later today but you beat me to it.

Light: You always say that and then never end up doing it.

L: Just because Light-kun is too impatient to wait, doesn't mean I'm lying. You can't prove I wouldn't have picked up the wrappers had you waited, so this is a baseless accusation.

Light: So I'm the problem. For cleaning your mess.

L: I like how my room looks. Perhaps Light-kun should stop being judgemental of people with different lifestyles.

Light: Do I need to keep stressing that your room had a roach infestation problem.

L: The roaches are my friends.

Light: You are being unbelievably difficult. Is it that hard to take out the trash?

L: I don't want to.

Light: "I DoNT wAnT TO". Why do we have to have this conversation every time I ask you to help me with chores.

L: If Light doesn't like doing the chores I will just get Watari to do them.

Light: L. Watari will not be able to do your chores forever.

L: 20%.

Light: ??? I cannot believe you. I can't believe you are insinuating I would kill my father-in-law because I'm reasonably angry with you for throwing a tantrum every time I ask you to help with basic chores. Will my Kira-relapse percentage rise if I demand you do the dishes today too?

L: 30%.

Light: You are insufferable. Like actually insufferable. You know Watari's gonna die one day, right? He's already really old. I won't be here forever either. Who's gonna take care of you when that happens? Might as well start learning to be an adult now at 30. Better late than never.

L: I wouldn't worry. Light-kun is younger than me and I'm the one in actual threat of dying while doing my detective work. Besides, I'm married to Kira-kun. It's a miracle I haven't ended up dead yet. In any case, Light-kun will most certainly outlive me.

Light: ...I'll make you regret this, L.

Light: *angrily storms off with the garbage bag fuming with rage, already starting to craft a detailed extremely elaborate step-by-step plan to fake his own death so he can teach L a lesson about the importance of doing his goddamn household chores*

#if you don't force your blorbos act like an old married straight couple who hate each other but refuse to get divorced do you even love them #light is correct here btw. you know its fucked up when light “murdering is my coping mechanism” yagami somehow has the moral high ground #death note #l lawliet #light yagami #lawlight #💬 katposts #🤪 sillygoofy #✒️ katwrites

[pirategrime]

'Cause you do What you're told But inside your heart it is black and it's hollow and it's cold

#ofmd #ofmd s2 spoilers #spoilers #izzy hands #edward teach #edizzy #** #sorry i've been listening to this ALL DAY #edizzy murder suicide divorce anthem #cw suicide / cw blood / cw guns

[strawberri-draws]

usually it’s fine, but sometimes the way btvs makes a moral lesson is hilarious actually

#my art #fanart #Yes this is a real scene #Immediately following this is a devastating scene where Buffy experiences her magic irl nightmare of her divorced father telling her #That he doesn’t want to see her anymore and the divorce was her fault #Which is then followed by Xander going ‘ooh a chocolate bar’ and eating a whole trail of them to a murderous clown #10/10 no notes #buffy summers #buffy the vampire slayer #btvs #my rewatch is going well lol #Tw blood #tw gun #ig even if they’re poorly scribbled lol

[purrvaire]

the master once they get out the golden tooth, after watching the doctor dancing with another man and then offering the same man to go off with him to dance in the cosmos:

#the neverending trauma of watching david tennant offering a supernatural entity to run away to the stars together #and fail #man got one move #anyway #kudos to the master for not barging out that tooth on a murder spree #first ep back they're taking their slutty spouse to the courtroom for divorce (again) #ngl if fiteen only winks at them and calls them honey it will be the shortest divorce in history but still #fourteenth doctor #fifteenth doctor #thoschei #doctor x master #doctor who 60th anniversary #doctor who spoilers #user purrvaire

[crossedwithblue]

random thought bc I've been listening to Six on repeat: the queens claim that the only reason they're remembered is because of Henry, but would Henry be one of the most iconic and well-known English monarchs if not for them?

#like his defining trait is sorta 'bloke who had six wives who he treated pretty badly all told' plus the whole church of england thing #which arguably would have happened anyway in some sense since protestantism was sweeping europe but is generally credited to him wanting #a divorce whether thats accurate or not #yes he was quite charismatic etc but there were plenty of others who were too or at least interesting #like nobody talks about the guy who was Probably murdered in a framed hunting accident #or the one who was executed by having a red hot poker rammed up his arse #or the one who dies after gorging himself on strawberries and eel pie iirc #ok fine maybe i only remember the memorable daeths but you get the point #the six wives are what made henry viii significant is what i'm saying #via shitposts #six #six the musical #tudors #tudor queens #catherine of aragon #anne boleyn #jane seymour #anne of cleves #katherine howard #catherine parr #henry viii

[plutunu]

what thinking of those tragic gay boys makes me feel like

#good omens #banana fish #hannibal #yes this is about ash and eiji #and aziraphale and crowley #and hannibal and will #hannigram #asheiji #ash x eiji #ash lynx #eiji okumura #will graham #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #ineffable divorce #murder husbands

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

sorry for the dogshit quality but. i'm rewatching and they are driving me even more insane than before. do you guys see this. can you believe they don't fuck for like two more seasons

#guys pleaseeeee they have the most unbelievable chemistry #like. i feel like i have to look away #he just got divorced btw. like earlier that day #and even tho she flirts with everyone she reigns herself in around him bc she knows he's a man of honour #BUT HE JUST GOT DIVORCED #and........ they just *almost* fuck for the next two seasons #i'm being so normal about them aren't i #🧃 #miss fisher's murder mysteries

[jokest3r]

Me after seeing the first cutscene of OG MW3 between makarov and yuri:

#makayuri #vladimir makarov #yuri volkov #yuri cod #cod makarov #makarov is just one person apart of the league of evil bisexuals #“wow he's bisexual i knew that” #very 2000's of him to murder his lover instead of going through with the divorce #your honor he was just being a bit silly and off his anti psychotics #my face was literally just the live slug reaction #new mw3 can kiss my ass and hopefully give me a refund

[ciderjacks]

ik everyone and their mother has said this already but I appreciate how many episodes of puppet history focus on non-white stories and are both respectful and dont just focus on mass suffering at the hands of white people, and when they do have episodes involving that they still make sure to focus on the people fighting back and not just "oh this horrible thing was done, sad!"

Also I appreciate how Shane makes an effort to pronounce shit correctly, and to be respectful of people's cultures and spirituality, and to find lesser known stories from these cultures. It's always cool to go into the comments and see people who usually don't see their history or people acknowledged talking about how happy the episode made them.

#I hope he does an episode on ndn history I feel like it would heal the part of me who had to sit through 30000 white history teachers #all telling the same story #as good as it is to be in a time where colonization and native people get acknowledged beyond the basic “they were there and then we were!” #bs it's also like. ive had several times where ive had to step out in class bc my white teacher was talking about how white people #slaughtered ppl like me. in horrific horrific detail. some stories which still haunt me. #I know much of our history is soaked in tragedy but I would be happy to see a puppet history episode talking about what we did divorced fro #the white man or at least. what we did when we werent being betrayed and raped and murdered. yk. cause i feel like thats literally all #people know about us. its probably a reason why so many white americans think we're not around anymore haha #if I could commission a puppet history episode i'd commission one on ndn history tbh #sorry tags got ranty #puppet history #shane madej

[prudentseer]

I am delusional

Joel: Boat boys? Boat boys are gone guys

Also Joel: Etho's first MCC? YES. I can't wait to absolutely destroy washed up Etho at MCC. Like he's so washed, I'm saying this right now I'm team Gem on this. Etho's washed...he's gonna get-I'm going to kill him everytime I see him, I'm targeting him. I'm just kidding, but he did break my trust in the last life series after we had such a nice time together as Boat Boys and...he just...it wasn't the same.

HE'S STILL NOT OVER IT, HE STILL MISSES ETHO. NO ONE CAN TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME, BOAT BOYS ISN'T GONE TILL I SAY THEY'RE GONE.

(sobbing noises)

#smalletho #boat boys #i love them your honor #they're so divorced #they deserve to kill each other #murder is a love language #because i said so #i miss them so bad #you have no idea #i have become to delusional for them #i am so desperate for any interaction between these two #i don't care if it's 10 seconds #anything please i beg

[one-time-i-dreamt]

I had a cat GF but not in a sexy way, in a Skyrim way. She kept trying to steal all my shit and I had to keep stealing it back. We ended up getting divorced and then my horse killed her. I cried.

#dream #girlfriend #skyrim #theft #divorce #horse #death tw #murder tw #crying

[velichorus-k]

Ships two people but not in a romantic way. Ships two people in a ‘they’re obsessed with each other way’. Not qp btw they're just weird about each other

#is there a word for this #lonelyeyes #megop #desperately need girl versions of this trope #either contains chernobyl levels of toxicity or theyre just kind of pathetic about each other #divorced but never married #I dont ship them I dont want to see them kiss or cuddle #but I DO believe they believe murder is a love language #does any of this make sense? #personal #txt

[the-meme-monarch]

hmmm i think it’d be fun + neat if Toriel’s original last name was something like “Hoapful” or some other spelling that sounds like ‘hopeful’ . bc of Asgore’s being Dreemurr and the recurring motif of hopes and dreams and all that

#bonus if it works as an anagram fro something sinister like dreemurr<—>murderer #i So like the idea that she kept the name dreemurr after divorcing bc Dreemurr Is A Good Cool Last Name #but maybe she’s Toriel Hoapful-Dreemurr but like just shortens it to dreemurr in conversation #or maybe she just like the ring of Toriel Dreemurr over Toriel Hoapful #i wish we could’ve gotten to know characters last names in dr 💔 #like as teachers. alphys and toriel should be referred to by their last names #but they’re both ms alphys and ms toriel #words from the monarch #deltarune #undertale