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lowkeychenle · 1 month

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masterlist + all about me (and nct dream)

hi everyone! name change/rebrand alert ;)

prev @/lowkeyjaemle, now @/lowkeychenle :D

i'm juls (as some of you already know) and my ult group is NCT Dream! i'm chenle biased (this will never change lol) and the majority of my blog is also chenle biased lol.

i do not have a bias wrecker. chenle is safe (although jisung is my #2, which just makes sense bc chenji is a package deal okay).

i'm 22 (almost 23!) years old, and my pronouns are she/her. now that all this intro/boring stuff is out of the way, please keep reading for my updated masterlist ;)

p.s. if u are also a chenle stan, there are so many chenle fics here just for u

AY YO! MDNI >:(

text!au masterlist | smau masterlist

So, this'll be a little different. These fics will be in order of my personal faves, so if you want a rec on where to start, try right at the top ;)

And Then It Was (M)

After your marriage with Chenle was arranged by your parents for a company merger, things with him aren't quite like you expect. In your life full of obligations, he's determined to finally give you the ability to make your own choices. (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k

Cruel Summer (M)

He wants you. Everything to do with you--your heart, your body, all while keeping your friendship. What's a man to do during a 30-day hook up to get you to stay? (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k

See My Sea (M)

You never expected your lab partner to be the captain of the basketball team...or a decent human being, but you get proved wrong twice. Despite a rocky past of your own, you find yourself falling for him faster than you thought. Maybe, with his help, you can finally find your way home and see your sea. (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k

Like We Just Met (M)

Everything else about the day is completely normal when Chenle realizes he wants to marry you. It hits him like a tidal wave, and he's itching to tell you just how much he wants to love you forever. (smut/fluff) *WC>10k

SOS (M)

Road trips with Chenle are your favorite thing. Late at night, the two of you stop at a hotel, but it's not everything it seems to be. You barely have time to settle before you get a call to evacuate immediately. Beneath red neon flashing lights, you and Chenle have to try and escape the group of people hunting you down. (suspense/thriller/smut)

this is me trying (M)

Meeting Chenle was a fluke--a good one, at that, but you never expected things to escalate the way they did. But despite the whirlwind romance, you'd go back to December if you had the chance... (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k

Is It Over Now? (M) (Feat. Jisung)

Your relationship with Chenle is nothing but fight after fight. Amidst the toxicity, infidelity comes into play--except you're determined to one up him...but is it ever truly over? (angst/smut) *WC>10k

Within the Piano Keys (M)

For as long as you could remember, Chenle has been your neighbor and childhood best friend. That is, until one day he disappears without a word…or so you thought, since your mother hid all the letters he sent you. (smut/fluff/angst) *WC>10k

Paris (M)

Pure smut on a hotel room balcony in Paris! Woo. (smut)

Sunshine (M)

You're not usually able to wake up with Chenle due to his schedules, but on the days that you can, it's certainly worth it. (smut/fluff)

Quiet Down (M)

You and Chenle visit your parents, but he just can't help himself... (smut)

You're Not Sorry

You and Chenle broke up two weeks ago. The first time he calls you at 3am, you ignore it. Then he calls again. You answer, and you go to him knowing there's nothing he could do to fix what he's broken. (angst)

The Last Straw (M)

Chenle has been your best friend for as long as you can remember. Being in love with him isn't easy, until you find out he reciprocates those feelings (thanks to Cockblocker!Jaemin). (smut/fluff/angst)

Chilled Nights, Fogged Windows (M)

After being gone for weeks, the first thing Chenle wants to do is get ice cream with you. One thing leads to another, and suddenly, you're in the backseat (oooops). (smut)

In Your Dreams (M)

What started as innocent phone sex hotline stuff (if that can ever really be innocent?), you get an offer you just can't refuse...you just have to be a little sleep deprived ;) (Chenle as Freddy Kruger Halloween thing lol)

Irrevocably (M) Series Masterlist

You were friends with benefits with Chenle until he got a girlfriend...fast forward months later, and now they've broken up--leaving Chenle to come back to you, very much in need of a distraction. (angst/smut/fluff)

Opposites Attract [Poly!Jaemle AU] Series Masterlist

Your relationship with Jaemin started out simple--friends with benefits with zero complications...until there was one. That complication's name is Zhong Chenle, and after Jaemin agrees to expand your exclusivity deal to involve him, there's only one logical thing left to do... (smut)

모래성 (ONE) (TWO) (THREE)

You and Mark have had a friends with benefits relationship for almost a year now. He's in love with you, addicted to you, but you don't feel the same. You're his poison. (smut/angst)

Late Nights (M)

Mark's busy schedule only gives him time to come over late at night, but it's safe to say neither of you are complaining by the time you fall asleep. (fluff/smut)

Empire State of Mind (M) (Feat. Jisung)

Life with Jisung is almost perfect. He loves you, and you love him. But when you run into your ex, Mark Lee, you realize the one thing you've been missing all along is him. (smut/angst)

Lost & Wayward Mini-Masterlist

After the worst couple weeks of your life, you finally break down in the middle of an alleyway. Jaemin hears you and comes to comfort you, and little do you know, he's about to change your life--in more ways than one. (fluff/smut/angst)

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hoseoksssangels · 7 months

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⛓Obsessive placements in Synastry⛓

[DISCLAIMER: everything I’ve written comes from personal experience and observation. It may not resonate with you and it’s totally fine! tysm and stay safe!]🧨

Synastry 🧬

-Pluto/Lilith conjunct Asc/Moon/Ic

Usually since Pluto is the planet of obsession, the Pluto person will be the one who’s more obsessed, but I’ve noticed that the person receiving that energy, that in this case would be Asc/Moon/Ic somehow form some sort of emotional attachment to Pluto’s obsession. I know this might sound weird but if the receiving person is quite plutonic themselves then it’s more likely the attachment will be there. If Venus is somehow aspecting this, the Pluto person might make the other person feel loved the way they always wanted , which would lead to attachment, because in human psychology all humans get attached to that one person that makes us feel loved. Good sex and physical attraction, there might be some bdsm or even masochistic actions in the bedroom.

Moon in the 4th/8th house

Moon in the 4th house can be more of a loving/comfortable obsession, where you somehow get obsessed with the house person, but in a gentle way, since the 4th house is ruled by the moon. Strong emotional bond. In a romantic relationship this might be that one ex you will always love or feel love for. Love with no hard feelings. Also the moon person might see the house person as marriage material with this overlay.

Moon in the 8th house it’s a whole another story…💀 Personally I enjoy these sort of aspects since I’m very plutonic myself but I know some people who have had this aspect in synastry and they somehow get scared just talking about the relationship they had. The house person might get very obsessed with the way the moon person makes them feel and how they can get under their skin. The 8th house is our dark side, the type of shit we wouldn’t show just to anybody. It’s like forming a bond with the other person’s dark side. Get ready to act like psychopaths lmao. Also the house person might want to create the moon person or vice versa. The moon person might see themselves in the house person, since our moon tells us about our deepest core and how our soul truly is.

North node conjunct Sun, Moon, Asc, Karma

So the north node is our compass, it shows us where we are heading in life. When someone’s Sun, Moon or Asc is conjunct it,it feels like this person is the person we’re supposed to be with for the rest of our lives or the person we’re supposed to be like. If the person leaves, it might feel like we’re heading in the wrong direction or doing something wrong. But what this aspect truly is about, is that the planet person shows us a way, sets an example for us of what we should do. They’re not who we should be or our person, they’re just completing their karma, which would be showing and guiding us, till we reach our task and they do what they were sent for. But this can create a strong sense of “fate” and obsession since the Karmic nodes are low-key tricksters and illusionists.

Pluto/Lilith conjunct/square Venus.

A classic. At least every person that is into Astrology knows about this. Obsessive love. Nothing more and nothing less. There might be a need to control and tell our partner how they should, love, dress, express their emotions and who they should be dating. (Especially from Pluto) watch out for love bombing and emotional abuse/manipulation. It happens so so often with these aspects.

Pluto in the 12th house/Saturn in the 12th house.

Yikes. Not my favourite. Yep Saturn too bc Saturn can burden and makes us feel obligated/bonded/forced towards something. The planet person will feel very obsessed and almost as if it is an obligation for them to get to the dormant and most hidden part of the personality of the 12th house person. Big invasion of privacy and it feels almost as if the planet person might not respect ur boundaries. Stalking happens very often. The planet person sometimes might disturb the house person so much it could create some sort of trauma in the subconscious of the house person.

So guys I hope you enjoyed this! I’ve been rewatching Strangers from hell (2019) lately and I got inspired to make this post. Since they remind me of these aspects in synastry. I’ll be making a composite version of this too!

The last time i saw the series was back in 2019😭 I forgot how good it was. Anyways love y’all ❤️ thank you for the support it truly means a lot to me❤️

#astrology observations #observations #astro observation #astrologer #astro community #astrologue #venus #mars #pisces #astro #astrology #2pm #anime #art #bts #celebrities #pluto

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atopvisenyashill · 30 days

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there’s a few potential sansa romantic endgames that i think have some textual basis and i think all of them come with a lot of issues wrt sansa being able to publically claim these relationships which is why i think sansa will say her children are “fathered by a wolf” because regardless of Who she’s with or even the legality of it, she’s going to be actively concealing their identity AND YET she needs to have children.

i think especially that even though arya’s love life is guaranteed to be less complicated, sansa will feel obligated to take this “burden” of ensuring their line onto herself; she wants arya to have the freedom to go where she pleases, be with who she pleases, and follow her passions and that is not easy to do if everyone is expecting you to come home and start popping out kids. I consider them a sort of reflection of ned and lyanna in this way in that sansa, second born and not meant to rule, uses her newfound power to let the wild, youngest girl (but not youngest child) in the family follow her passions wherever they may take her.

this is all kind of weird with the nixed time jump but considering that george has talked about writing stories from arya’s pov about her adventures, I think it’s going to be fairly important in story regardless of their ages that arya will attempt to offer to stay home and marry and have children as a way of helping to protect sansa’s very shaky claim on winterfell but that sansa encourages arya to do whatever she wants. to travel, to help shepherd the boatloads of refugees from the various wars to wherever they want to call home, to settle displaced northerners in other parts of westeros as well, to get involved in the lives of the people arya is helping and agree to help them liberate their own homes by using her skills (crucial here that arya is A leader but not the SOLE leader), or to go out into the woods and be a secret not-quite-an-outlaw (bc sansa isn’t outlawing anything that could hurt arya’s lil crusades, probably is helping bankroll arya) to bring justice to the smallfolk, like whatever it is arya wants to do with her life, the point is that she offers to give it up and sansa refuses to take the offer.

and then we have the idea that her kids are fathered by a wolf. not elizabeth-ing herself here exactly because she’s having children but never publicly acknowledging a father or a husband or even a lover.

i think the candidates most likely are jon snow and theon, with both brienne and podrick as like “i’m not saying he’s gonna do it but i am saying they make a lot of sense narratively” and aegon vi as a huge long shot but still undeniable contender. if briensa does go canon everyone owes me five bucks each tho. i think the options other people float are not just wildly unserious they also clearly don’t think sansa will be The Ruling Lady Of Winterfell, but some much more minor or less emotionally resonant title and i just do not vibe with that shit at all. harry the heir, sandor, sweetrobin, tyrion, littlefucker, like never mind sansa never once showing any real interest in these guys and NONE of these dudes being satisfied by the idea of being her secret husband, if sansa says to arya “yeah i’m marrying tyrion” arya is going “blink twice if you’re being held hostage and you need me to kill him” but it’s too late because jon snow is already unsheathing longclaw and bran is attacking with every raven in winterfell. it’s not fucking happening and imo it’s unserious to pretend like it could happen in canon. (and if it DOES happen in canon you will find me rocking up to george’s house in jersey and demanding to know why he’s so weird about teenage girls). i think margaery is a huge long shot here (and not just bc it would make them both canonically on screen gay) because i don’t think she’s gonna live to the ending, and jeyne poole is too traumatized at this point in time for me to feel confident in putting her in the same category as brienne and pod.

(theon’s trauma is WHY i think he’s still a contender - post reek theon is going to struggle a lot with figuring out where he’s supposed to be, who he’s supposed to be, and who he can trust as he puts himself back together, and that lends itself nicely to the idea of a secret husband/lover imo. once again, we are talking extreme trauma bonding here - that’s just the only way i see sansa’s romances going).

if you’re asking “who do you think arya is winding up with” it’s gendry. i don’t doubt that there were some plans for edric dayne, arya, and gendry but i think gendry was always going to be her great love here, that she’s always going to turn down the idea of marriage to him but gendry doesn’t care so long as they are still together. there’s a neon blinking sign over gendry’s head that says “endgame material” and i think it’s unserious to pretend it’s not there too!!

#again my conspiracy here is that he can’t do all the rhaegar/lyanna/robert/ned/ashara/cat paralleling he would like and it’s thrown him off #that’s my rant of the day aksjdj #getting on my soap box #theonsa #jonsa #briensa #jeynsa #what’s the pod sansa name i always forget #the sun and moon in endless chase

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welcometogrouchland · 11 months

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I feel like for the first few years of guardianship Darius and Hunter really struggle to figure out how to refer to each other.

Like it's easier for Hunter, he pretty quickly settles on "guardian" for explaining their relationship to other people and just referring to Darius by name when talking to the man himself. Overtime the phrasing gradually warms, becoming "foster parent" and eventually, once Hunter's already an adult old enough to move out, "Dad".

(Sidenote: he doesn't move out til he's in his mid to late twenties, bc he's under no obligation too, Darius low-key doesn't want him too, and the two of them want to make up for lost time in a sense, since Hunter only had 2 years of legal dependency on Darius before aging out of the system. Darius adopts Hunter retroactively as an adult)

Darius on the other hand has a real conundrum on his hands for those first few years. He has a lot of options! But "ward" is too formal and makes it sound like Darius picked him up off the street like after his parents were murdered, "apprentice/student" isn't really accurate considering the focus of Darius and Hunter's relationship has less to do with Hunter learning magic and more to do with Hunter being housed and fed. "Kid" and "foster son" are there...but...

Look, Darius isn't going to refer to Hunter more familiarly than Hunter refers to him! He's not gonna make it WEIRD. He's not a dad, because Hunter doesn't want/need him to be (and also parenthood is scary <3). Darius doesn't know the first thing about being a dad, despite how his friend group teases him.

Eda and Eberwolf are the two who are worst about it. They torture him with how 'fatherly' he's allegedly being (allegations Darius will DENY til his GRAVE!!!) And Eda specifically compares his journey to hers, saying it always starts off with you referring to them as your apprentice (again, Darius doesn't plan on doing that), as your roommate (...kinda weird in Darius' opinion? But okay Eda), or even your pet (????HELLO???). But eventually, they always become your dumb kid when you least expect it.

She's had a couple cups of appleblood by this point, but Darius knows on some level she's right and he's steadfastly ignoring that fact, even as Eber continues to refer to Hunter as his "cub" (kinda cute but Darius doesn't know how Hunter would feel being compared to an animal). The only people who are even remotely reasonable about all this (besides Lilith who's a bit disinterested in kid talk) is Raine and Alador, who both sort of neutrally, a bit awkwardly refer to Hunter as Darius' Boy.

Darius referring to Hunter as "my boy" is funnily enough what sticks the longest before it evolves to son boy. Hunter's crushing it at a derby match? Darius is whooping and cheering, yelling "THAT'S MY BOY!!!" At the other parents in the stands. Hunter is doing something dangerous or inadvisable where others can see him? "Darius, your boy-" "AHH! MY BOY". Hunter, a year into his stay with Darius finally comes clean about everything to do with him being a grimwalker, and is afraid that he's going to go back to seeing him as just an inferior replacement for Darius' beloved mentor? Darius (who has just had to process some of the most bonkers, emotionally heavy information in his life) gently, hesitantly puts a hand on his shoulder (the 'good' one Hunter doesn't mind people touching), and says that Hunter's much more than that. He's Darius' Boy and he's not going to kick him out or get angry or love him any less for things out of his control. It's good. They're good.

Like I said, it evolves over time and 'boy' becomes somewhat obsolete as the two get caught up in the joy of finally feeling able to explicitly refer to each other as family. But unlike "guardian" or "ward" the word never gets fully retired. Even when Hunter is 30 and is arguing that he's more of a man than a boy now, he is still getting referred to by Darius as "his boy", the way some parents never really stop calling their adult kids baby or kiddo (Camila and Eda respectively btw).

Hunter makes one of those corny matching shirt sets at some point for a father's Day gift when he's 17/18, where the two shirts say "if lost, return Boy to me" (Darius) and "I'm Boy" (Hunter). Hunter mostly did it so he could own a funny shirt that says "I'm boy". Darius openly weeps upon seeing them. Like Oh my Titan he's boy. He's my boy. Oh wow

#ramblings of a lunatic #the owl house #toh #hunter toh #darius deamonne #dadrius #made this instead of finishing my dadrius week day 1 comic. it's okay i have time #i think this post dips it's toes into being one of those 'part writing drabble/part textpost analysis' posts #which I'm okay w/ tbh i love those #i just hope it reads well #the important thing about dadrius + eberwolf to me is that it's just as unlikely a trio as King Eda and Luz are #just as weird and has just as gradual and retrospectively funny a journey as them #i also specified foster parent instead of adoptive parent just bc i read it in a fic once where Hunter was placed in isles foster care-#-post canon and he had a social worker who was a gargoyle named Chantelle. it was delightful #this is my homage to that. the fic was 'the titan laughs in flowers' i think (thank you user yardsards for the rec)#alador still gets the instinct to refer to Hunter as the golden guard and amity gets on his case about it #so referring to Hunter as darius' boy grew out of that and spread to raine who finds it kind of adorable #darius refers to hunter as his foster son for the first time when his (darius' i mean) family comes to visit #not as like a statement of anything they don't deny Hunter as a deamonne. they love him like they love a scraggly cat #but just like. it felt right for Darius in the moment and Hunter got emotional about it #anyway happy early dadrius week I'm rotating them in my mind I'm biting down on them like a chew toy etc etc

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coramatus · 1 year

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Please inflict this idea upon us, I am extremely curious about why it’s a bad idea

Welp. Y’all are verrrrry curious!

I’ll just dump most of the brainstorming text here.

(It’s a bad idea bc it came from me 8’3)

Tl;dr: Ingo makes a deal with Reshiram and is reborn as a baby black Reshiram

Basically, Ingo gets royally screwed over and left stranded in Hisui, destined to die there without ever getting the chance to return to his proper place. Ingo isn’t happy about this but what can he do?

On a whim, he makes a heartfelt plea to whoever from his homeland can hear him to help him go home. He just wants to go home…

And something is compelled to respond.

Ingo is met with a bright flash of light and a strangely familiar roar. When the light clears, he is faced with a great white feathered dragon staring down at him. He is quick to bow in reverence, but the dragon tells him it won’t be necessary. It introduces itself as Reshiram, the Twin Dragon of Truth.

Because he is a child of Unova, Ingo is under its influence and it has a way to help him get back to his proper home. But seeing as how Ingo’s home is in the future, that method won’t be straightforward. Reshiram has no power over time itself; their only way forward is to go the long way. Of course, Ingo’s human body can’t be sustained for such a long time. Ingo will have to be changed, given a form that can last until the right time when said memories will be returned. A form that will be under Reshiram’s direct protection.

Ingo is unsure about this whole thing and asks for some time to decide. Reshiram obliges.

Initially, Ingo goes around Hisui asking for advice but he quickly realizes that if this is his only way back then he has to take it. His travels turn into him saying his goodbyes to everyone. Most are sad to see him go, but they know how much he’s wanted to leave.

In the end, Ingo returns to Reshiram and agrees. He asks what he’s supposed to do and Reshiram simply tells him to hold still. It leans in and bumps Ingo’s chest with its nose. Warmth washes over Ingo’s body and he starts to feel faint. Reshiram tells him to sleep, he will reawaken when it’s time. Until then, he should enjoy his new life.

Ingo tries to hold on but darkness overtakes him. Suddenly, he’s in a tight dark space. He tries to move but finds he doesn't have a body to move anymore. Any panic and fear quickly fizzle away as his mind fades to nothing.

Where Ingo once stood, his empty clothes fall into a pile over a large egg. Reshiram nuzzles the egg, promising to take care of him before sweeping the clothing and egg bundle into its grasp. With everything secured, it soars back to Unova, building a nest in a distant cave where it can brood over the egg.

Inside the egg, something that was once Ingo starts to stir. Any knowledge of what he once was sinks away into a locked and buried space. New ideas bubble up into his mind. The thought of soaring in sunny blue skies brings a sense of wonder and joy. The image of hot burning flames warms his heart. The knowledge that he is of dragons takes root.

For Reshiram, several years pass as its ward incubates. They are patient though, staying on the egg for months at a time, turning it over, and doting on it.

At long last, the egg finally starts to move, wriggling as its occupant starts to break free. Faint peeping can be heard as he calls out plaintively.

Reshiram gives the egg a rumbling nudge of encouragement and it starts to crack in response.

After several hours of struggling, enough eggshell is broken away to allow the hatchling to come tumbling out with a weak peep. He is a black, baby Reshiram, his feathers still not fully developed, his body weakly gasping and shivering.

‘Hello, little Ingo,’ Reshiram warmly welcomes him. It nuzzles the tiny black hatchling and the reborn Ingo flops against it in loving relief. A warm tongue bathes him as his downy black feathers dry and fluff up, allowing him to warm quickly. He soon falls asleep against his parent’s feathery fluff, exhausted but happy.

The first hundred years are busy, Reshiram teaching its child how to be a dragon. Ingo eagerly takes to his lessons even if he is a clumsy, peeping hatchling at first. He slowly grows into his body, his flight feathers developing, his wings strengthening. He learns to use his fire, burning a silvery-blue shade. He calls Reshiram both mama and papa and later on just ‘parent’. As he grows more confident in his body, Reshiram teaches him more of his inherent powers, showing him how to live among both humans and Pokémon by disguising himself. His human form is unsurprisingly identical to his past self’s appearance. He also learns how to attune himself to Truths and sensing lies. Lies don’t mortally offend him like his parent but he doesn’t like them either.

His first century is a blissful one.

Ingo reaches maturity at a hundred years. Though he’s ecstatic at being able to venture out on his own, it’s not entirely by choice. His parent tells him that they need to leave, they have a greater role to fulfill. But he should be ready for whatever the world throws at him. All he has to do is remember that when the time comes: he is Ingo, he has always been Ingo and that will never change.

Ingo doesn’t know what that means. Reshiram nuzzles him one last time and simply tells him it will fulfill a promise they made to him a long time ago.

With that, Reshiram flies away, leaving Ingo to forge his own path ahead.

Ingo spends the next hundred or so years simply living his life and having a great time. He observes Unovan society, easily taking on human guise and walking amongst humanity. He watches the development of trains and adores them (gets a job as a fireman at one point and his trains weirdly tend to run faster). He watches the rise of modern Pokémon battling and loves that too. Meanwhile, he builds up a bit of a reputation of being a big ol’ cryptid ‘The Black Reshiram’ and he thinks that’s hilarious.

As his proper time comes closer, he doesn’t really notice anything off. He never sees his past self or Emmet due to not being around Nimbasa much and not being able to access the Battle Subway (legendaries are banned after all lol) (took one look at the banned sign, went ‘aww man…’ and left)

He does see his past self’s missing posters and that is really concerning because uh… how is he missing and which human even knows he exists???

Several years after Subway Boss Ingo vanishes, the day comes. (Reshiram didn’t have an exact date so it gave itself a few extra years as a buffer.)

This could go several ways, but I’m a whore for angst so that’s where I went

Dragon Ingo is sent into an existential crisis.

Ingo is having a nice flight over the sparse desert when his old human memories slam into him like a Thunderbolt. Confused and terrified, he involuntarily shifts to human form, sending him crashing back down to earth. But he doesn’t care. He’s too busy trying to figure out who he is as he screams in horror, his mind melting down from the conflicting histories.

When he comes back to himself, Ingo feels like he’s been torn in half. He remembers and it’s the worst pain he’s ever felt.

And yet he has no choice but to move forwards.

Past Ingo didn’t remember his past life, leaving current Ingo to start picking up the pieces. He learns who Subway Boss Ingo was, his life and legacy before disappearing.

And he learns who Emmet is.

Ingo is terrified, but is inevitably drawn to Nimbasa and watches Emmet, feeling a strange longing pulling him to the man. But Ingo still doesn’t know who he really is anymore. He’s spent so long as a dragon, his past human life feels less consequential. And yet it’s part of him; it will always be part of him.

It’s in one of those moments of hesitation that Emmet spots him.

Their reunion doesn’t go well. Though Ingo tries to hide from Emmet, Emmet still zeros in on him and tries to hug him. But Ingo is still suffering from his identity crisis and freaks out, shoving Emmet off, begging him to leave him alone before fleeing. The sight of Ingo’s retreating back almost breaks Emmet. He’s so hurt and confused but he won’t let that stop him.

So he gives chase.

Their chase lasts for a while before Emmet ultimately tackles Ingo, demanding to know why he’s running, where he’s been, what is going on, etc.. Ingo can’t handle it anymore and throws Emmet off as he starts shifting back into his dragon form. Emmet is left to watch in terror as Ingo begs him to stay away, his fingers turning to claws, black feathers growing from his body, his teeth shifting to fangs. Where his brother once stood is a terrified black Reshiram, cowering from him, weeping. Emmet is at a loss for words and can only stare as the dragon takes to the air and flies away. For a long time, Emmet sits there in shock, unable to move as he struggles to understand what he just saw when a large black feather is blown to him. Emmet picks it up, examining the sleek feather. Something in him breaks and he crumples, cradling the feather as he cries. He apologizes to Ingo, begging him to come back. He misses him. He just wants his brother home again. A teardrop lands on the feather…

Ingo’s heart clenches in his chest. He can hear Emmet’s Truth. But he can’t respond. He’s too scared. He doesn’t know who he is anymore. He flies out to the desert, roaring mournfully as he collapses back into human form. He curls up in the dirt and cries.

The next day, Ingo is awoken by human hands shaking him. He opens his eyes to find unfamiliar people fussing over him, thinking him a lost hiker of some sort. They offer him food and water which he sluggishly accepts, still lost in his existential crisis. Then one of them recognizes him as the missing Subway Boss. Ingo tries to push them away to say that he’s not, he doesn’t know who he is, he wants to be left alone. But his rescuers are so kind and gentle with him that he can’t bring himself to do anything against them. So he reluctantly allows himself to be ushered into a vehicle and taken back to Nimbasa.

For Emmet, he’s ready to spend the whole week sleeping. He doesn’t understand what he witnessed yesterday, what he has undeniable proof of. He saw Ingo and Ingo saw him. But Ingo was afraid… and then turned into a dragon and flew away.

What is he even supposed to do with that?

His phone rings and he ignores it. It rings again and he still ignores it. And then it won’t stop ringing. Emmet gets fed up and answers, aggravated. The voice in the other line immediately tells him they found Ingo! Out in the middle of the desert, just laying there. Emmet realizes that is where Ingo went. But if he could turn into a dragon why didn’t he do that with these strangers and just fly away again? He doesn’t say this but tells them he’ll be in the hospital soon. He makes sure to take Ingo’s feather with him.

In the hospital, Ingo sits on an unused bed, allowing himself to be checked over by doctors. They’ve diagnosed him with amnesia, which isn’t wrong, but otherwise he has a clean bill of health. He still wants to be left alone, which is thankfully largely being respected. Until he’s told his brother is coming. Ingo realizes he can’t avoid Emmet forever and reluctantly acquiesces to Emmet’s visit.

When Emmet walks into the room, he’s disappointed but not surprised to see Ingo flinch from his entry. With a much quieter approach, he sits in a chair further away from Ingo and waits for him to speak first, not making eye contact. This approach seems to work better as Ingo slowly feels compelled to talk.

“E-Emmet…” Ingo whispers.

“Hi… Ingo…” Emmet responds softly.

Ingo isn’t sure how to respond. This is a completely different reaction from yesterday.

With clear movements, Emmet pulls out the feather.

“You… ah… left this. Yesterday,” Emmet says uncertainly. He holds it out, “Do you want it back?”

Ingo stares at it and shakes his head.

“May I keep it?”

Ingo considers this and nods quietly.

“Thank you,” Emmet smiles in gratitude, tucking the feather into his shirt pocket.

Silence continues.

“…why did you run away?” Emmet asks softly.

“It’s a long— I-I’m— I’m not… I’m… sorry…” Ingo stumbles, at a complete loss of how to explain anything. So he tells Emmet what he’s sure of: “…i don’t know who i am.”

“But your name—”

“Is Ingo… I know… but… I haven’t been Ingo the human in t-two hundred years…” he says, his voice fading to a quiet whimper, “That Ingo… he gave up his life… I’m just what’s left…”

“Is that why… the dragon thing?”

Ingo nods, starting to cry, “Your brother was sent to the past. He wasn’t allowed to come back. So he begged for help… My parent… I don’t know why they listened… They promised a way for him to survive the passage of time…”

Emmet starts to understand, “…and you were it.”

“He became me. And he… his memories were locked away. Until… until a few days ago…” Ingo curls up, his voice pained, “I’m sorry, Emmet… I don’t think I’m your brother anymore… I am so sorry…”

Ingo is openly sobbing, grief overwhelming him. Grief for the old Ingo, grief for Emmet, grief for the bond they once shared.

He doesn’t move when he feels the bed dip by his side. He doesn’t move when Emmet lays a gentle hand on his shoulder. He doesn’t move when Emmet gives him a soft side hug.

“Do you… want to be that Ingo again?” Emmet asks carefully.

“I don’t know…” Ingo whispers, shaking, “I-I want to… but I… I’m scared…”

Looking at Ingo, Emmet knows what he has to do. It will break his heart, but it’s the right thing. He rests a hand on Ingo’s back.

“You don’t… have to be that Ingo… if you don’t really want to,” Emmet says, tears welling up in his eyes. He’s letting go of his brother; he’s finally letting himself grieve. “I miss my brother. But I would never force you to be him. He wouldn’t want that either.”

Ingo says nothing, only crying in shame.

“And if you’re not ready… then I won’t force that either.” Emmet leans in and kisses Ingo on his forehead, hugging him once more. “I love you, Ingo. Whenever you’re ready… the door home is always open for you.”

Ingo sobs harder as Emmet stands up and leaves.

He doesn’t know what to do.

Emmet is heartbroken to leave Ingo behind, but his brother… or whatever he is… doesn’t want him. Not now anyways. All he can do is respect that and mourn Ingo properly.

A few days pass. Emmet finds some peace in the knowledge that his brother is dead. He’s starting to work on a memorial service when there is a knock on the door.

Emmet finds a despondent Ingo on his doorstep.

Ingo doesn’t seem to know what to say. So Emmet lets him in, tells him to sit anywhere. Ingo does so, looking distinctly uncomfortable as Emmet prepares some coffee for the both of them.

And the two talk…

(And this is about as far as I got so far. There’s probably more but we’ll see.)

#pokemon #pokemon legends arceus #pokemon black and white #pokemon black 2 and white 2 #submas #subway boss ingo #warden ingo #subway boss emmet #reshiram #coramatus’s writing #tldr: turned ingo into a creachur again #basically the thought of melanistic reshiram spiraled out of control #black reshiram au #i guess

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thegeminisage · 1 month

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okay WHEW it's star trek update time. last night* we watched tng's "interface" and ds9's "the siege." *i'm typing this at fuck o clock and scheduling it to go up tomorrow when i'm not here <3

interface (tng):

i don't want to talk about it

actually wait no yes i do but mostly i just want to complain. i wish there was perhaps some sort of skip/watch list with the dead parent episodes labeled. for star trek. i mean i know i'm making one but not that one i can't use that until it's too late. i can't crowdsource EVERY dead parent episode of star trek through my tumblr followers. though i will say whoever warned me about 4.02 of ds9 (i forgot which person it was, i'm so sorry 🙏) has my deepest gratitude. ok. complaint lodged.

what else...um, geordi and data. emptiness. Yeah

yeah. that's all. sorry. my spidey senses started tingling about halfway through the episode and i googled whether or not his mom really was dead and upon receiving my answer we stopped the episode to go directly to ds9.

the siege (ds9)

LOVED this one. where do i even begin

well i will begin at the obvious: women! kira and dax in the shuttle. mwah

what i loved most about kira and dax in the shuttle wasn't even the homoeroticism, though i did - of course - deeply enjoy the homoeroticism. what i loved MOST was that they seemed to have invented a personality for dax at last! i have no idea what was going on in this episode or who this dax was or where she was during s1 but i REALLY liked her. it's shocking bc i almost gave her LAST PLACE in the character rankings, but she was so fun here?? and also kind of like...airheaded and weird. "i might keep the nose." seems like they really DIDN'T know what to do with her in s1, but better late than never. i will continue to try and forgive her really terrible hair even though it makes her head look soooo weird and offputting

big spider bad. actually it was too stupid looking to be scary but i still didn't like it

quark and odo's gay little goodbye <3

julian FUCKING bashir pretending he was hot shit when he held those guys up. KING.

actually all of the action sequences in this episode were great. all three of season 2's episodes have been really funny even as they're also very serious at the same time, i fucking love it

love also the little nod to o'brien's service record on the cardassian front in the way of wartime rations. not only is it funny but it is, again, a great reminder of his cardassian trauma, and why he might feel obligated to stay behind

SPEAKING OF. everyone in ops, down to the last person, agreeing to stay at ds9, even though some of them have families like o'brien does. i'm SO glad they didn't forget his family, that they actually showed him and keiko arguing about it, but he STILL felt morally that he had to stay - that it was more important than his own life, and the risk of his family having to continue on without him.

PLUS the fact that not a single person wanted to leave, even after sisko assured them that they SHOULD think of their families...girl he is literally the best captain or commander or whatever. that's stone cold loyalty. they all trust him or love him or both.

i was a little ambivalent on li nalas as a concept but he actually was used finally...i think "off the hook" was a great way to take care of that arc neatly, because making him live the lie would have felt cruel, but him just ghosting would have made him look like an asshole, no matter how justified. i hope there's a bajoran afterlife he can chill out in

did we get set up for season-long villains with winn and jaro? that would be fun. the concept of "storylines" feels so foreign in a star trek show but there it is........

TONIGHT: tng's "gambit part i" and ds9's "invasive procedures," which with any luck will hopefully be about subjects besides dead parents 🤞

#personal #star trek blogging #tng lb #ds9 lb #i did go back and finish the episode later on like 2x speed during the nonimportant bits. only second or third tng ep ever to make me cry #that riker and geordi scene................

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llycaons · 10 days

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hello!! as someone who loves cql wwx, i really love how you defend wwx’s canon characterizarion vs his fanon one. it’s all so good to read like that’s our boy!! so i wanted to ask as someone who wants to write fic from wwx’s pov, do you have any tips or advice? thank you! 💕

hello, anon! thank you! I'm not a writer, but I'm certainly happy to list some things that bother me in fics from a characterization standpoint (1/2)

sense of self-worth: in canon, flashback arc wwx thinks he's hot shit. he is slightly less obnoxious about it postres, but still has a lot of confidence and knows he's an incredibly skilled (and handsome) cultivator. I see a lot of fics where wwx has a super low sense of self-worth - he verbally talks about how he doesn't deserve another chance, how lwj is better than him, how he deserves punishment, etc. and it ends up with lwj needing to constantly reassure him that he's 'good enough' when in reality that's not their dynamic. wwx doesn't want platitudes, he wants tangible emotional and mental support from someone who believes him and has his back and will commit to him even though his reputation is in tatters. he does make enormous sacrifices, but it's less that he doesn't think he's worth anything and more that he considers his moral or familial obligations to be of higher importance. and he does have regrets but postres he truly doesn't want to suffer any more (dying was punishment enough!), and he certainly doesn't think he deserves more. he doesn't like to dwell on the past since it's so painful and he's rather move on but in theory this should wreak havoc on his mental health since he never actually deals with it? this is something canon doesn't explore as much as I'd want it to but I love reading about him coping with the trauma of his entire life after decades of ignoring it.

...and general emotional state wrt lwj: postres his behavior and dynamic with lwj is a little confusing, so honestly I kind of go with whatever the author's interpretation is. personally I see him in the flashback having a big crush, picking up a similar vibe from lwj after a few mishaps and being excited about it, then BAM the war happens, innocence is lost, and he realizes 1. he can't hope to live as a cultivator alongside lwj, ever and 2. lwj will probably reject him for using DC (which...he does), so he takes control and decides to be the one who cuts off that relationship before lwj can, bc having control over the terrible things that happen in his life is that important to him. but ofc they still stay close and I think by BM it's more like "we know how we feel but neither of us can do anything besides what we're doing' and then wwx loses it a bit and can't focus on anything besides the wens and his sister etc. and THEN postres his reluctance to involve himself with lwj is more due to being unsure about how lwj 16 yrs in the future would treat him, his habitual self-reliance and slight mistrust, and a desire to keep lwj safe and his reputation intact. wwx knows that lwj didn't do everything he could have back then, so he's still a little wary until lwj proves himself, AND he's worried lwj will be ruined bc of being associated with the yllz, famously hated mass murderer/heretic

dynamic with jc: hoo boy. I have seen so many authors screw this one up because they're biased towards jc never having done anything wrong, or the yunmeng sibling bond being sacred and unbreakable and or something. people love to write jc being verbally aggressive and even physically abusive to wwx, and wwx being happy because 'it means he cares' or some shit. drives me up a wall. jc is deeply insecure, chronically contemptuous, violently lashes out when angry, and has steeped in bitterness to cope with grief for decades. he has THE most rancid vibes and nobody likes him and wwx is very rightfully sick of his shit, especially postres. and their story is such a crucial example of how the people we're close to can badly hurt us, and the fact that they love us doesn't mean they're not hurting us or that it's okay. the drama softened jc a bit, but canonically to the novel AND the drama, jc and wwx have always had a rocky relationship. recall jc choking him nearly to unconsciousness after the LP attack, for one. the cracks started showing during the wen indoctrination camp, in which wwx wanted to help lwj, his personal friend and another high-ranking sect heir, during the hunt, potentially saving his life, and jc told him repeatedly to leave him behind since he's not family. and jc hunkers down and tries to protect his people alone, while wwx is fundamentally incapable of abandoning people who he could help. this ideological split between them continued through his (mutually agreed-upon) defection from the jiang sect, and came to a head during nightless city. you may recall that jc told wwx to go to hell while wwx was actively in the middle of committing suicide. based on this, the fact that jc then raised jin ling to hate DCers and wwx specifically, the fact that jc tried to immediately kill wwx when he came back, and the fact that he then tortured wwx psychologically using insider knowledge of his fear of dogs, indicates pretty clearly to me that this man is um. not really a safe person for wwx to be around mentally, emotionally, or physically. and wwx himself knows this! he stands up for himself when being tortured, he accuses jc of never changing, he compares jin ling unfavorably to jc, and he complains about jc's juvenile and cruel behavior frequently there are so many jc defenders in this fandom that interpret his behavior and actions as love or trust or simple ignorance, but the fact is that there is a long-established and extremely serious pattern of jc hurting wwx to vent his own anger, frustration, or pain, whether wwx had anything to do with it or not. and ppl talk about him like he's a defenseless victim even when he's a nearly forty-year old sect leader 🤡. not that he hasn't had his own tragedies or his own reasons for acting as he did, and I do see him as a very tragic figure, but the facts are that he's terrible to wwx and wwx knows that, and responds to it. wwx doesn't hate jc but he doesn't want to be hurt by him anymore and after the age of like 15 he would never respond positively to jc treating him like shit. if he was wary around lwj, you can imagine how nervous he is around jc. please, PLEASE if you're writing wwx, don't let this all be forgotten. I do think there's a way for jc and wwx to become close again, and I do think wwx has forgiven jc if not forgotten the hurt he's caused him, but a HUGE part of wwx's journey is finding and staying with someone he loves who's safe, who cares about him and will prioritize him and won't hurt him.

part two coming up!

#asks #Anonymous

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doomed-era · 3 months

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hm. thoughts on mipha? maybe how she thought about the calamity + how she’d think of the other champions (if. you havent answered this already!)

ohoho well :) if you insist

haha as far as the calamity goes she has got. the Dread and she has got it bad. even though some of the other champions' outlook on defeating calamity ganon is optimistic (even gaffen thinks everything is going to be fine), mipha is really...not super confident in the whole thing. she keeps this to herself most of the time, and really thinks she's overthinking it most of the time, but she still has a looming sense of dread about the whole thing. she talks with vah ruta about it occasionally. daruk has told her that the best thing to do about it is to make plans for the future, so she has done a bit of that! they've talked about meeting up on death mountain once everything is over. she tries to keep herself busy with projects. she really likes weaving and crafting in general god I just imagined her weaving a little turtle somewhere on the zora armor throws up. her favorite animal is turtles.

she's afraid of dying and afraid of living and afraid of giving up but can't see herself winning. you know. the general looming horror of existence. embracing your death because you're lonely and the walls you've built around yourself are too terrible to bring down. idk.

she is terrified by the prospect of having to potentially lose her life fighting the calamity, well. she's always lived for other people and doesn't really take her own health or safety in mind much. really funny because she'll absolutely get on other people's cases for doing the same thing she does. if gaffen and her were closer they'd constantly piss each other off bc of this and i think its hilarious

ultimately the only thing that really stays in her mind as a reason to look forward to things is living for people she thinks can be genuine. she loves her little brother because she thinks he can show his feelings where she just. can't. because that would mean not being a fuckin doormat and she thinks she's morally obligated to be one for her people's sake lmao. this is part of the reason shes so obsessed with gaffen because she thought he was a genuine person when he was little and now he's not so she's like. maybe we could learn how to be real people together. or maybe just with ourselves. its more of a subconscious thing she doesnt actively think this but shes such an i can fix him girl. stop

sorry for going on a tangent about mipha I dont even generally like quiet passive characters whose canon personality boils down to love interest I just decided she was a people pleaser and everyone around turned her into a saint when she wasnt and she was never truly known um throws myself into a pit of flames. heaven forbid i read too much into implications. i love women!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now where was I. oh yeah the champions.

i've already partially explained her relationship with revali long story short she doesn't like him. example of a guy who needs to shut up Immediately. which isnt to say she wouldnt like to get along with him he seems like a person who has good qualities she just wishes he would shut up, so she gets passive aggressive around him

daruk!! ok they actually do really like each other because how could you not like daruk cmon. he's seen through her polite facade a few times and seen how scared she is so he's tried to help her out a bit and she appreciates it a lot :] (yea I know gaffen and mipha both like him its that magnetic extrovert guy charm and I really like introvert-extrovert dynamics)

daruk and urbosa are actually good friends lmao so daruk has passed some of what he knows onto her. so yea mipha also likes her. appreciates her advice quite a bit they train together sometimes!! shes really interested in gerudo jewelry as well she has a few pieces urbosa has given her as a gift and she's given urbosa some zora pieces

so yeah

#botw #mipha #asks #glider rambles

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theangrypomeranian · 4 months

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I was gonna go on anon to ask this bc fear lol but do what scares you until it doesn't scare you ufeelme lmao ANYWAY

Do you have any guidance or advice to someone that has /never/ read fanfic but wants to start? I'm not really a shipper (outside of canon, anyway, like I love boblin but avoid the kids ships even if canon bc of the internet drama I've read. Obviously no judgment on my end, I just don't wanna be involved in it - that anxiety/ chronic stress life babey)

But I've been feeling like having scenes or stories to draw will be the next step in improving my art. I can draw the characters reasonably legible now so wanna draw them interacting with each other more! To encapsulate their dynamics and relationships with one another, any fanfic seems ideal for that! Otherwise I'd just be redrawing scenes and that's fine as is, but it's not necessarily enough? If that makes sense?

With all this in mind, I'm overwhelmed with the prospect of diving in without any knowledge on the fanfic/writing world whatsoever. As I only follow a small handful of writes, and you seem to be one of the most consistent/frequent, I would absolutely love and appreciate your help!

I understand this may either be an unnecessary amount of info, or just a lot/ an intense amount in general lmao, so you don't have to answer this! But I had to try somewhere 👉😎👉 I hope you understand! I'm sure you'll understand 😆🤭

Hello! Sorry for responding so late, work has been taking all of my spoons this weekend and I wanted to be sure I could answer this with the gusto you deserve. (Also I HELLA feel the "do what scares you until it doesn't", I need to start living by that more. Good on you, mate!) For what to read, my number one rule is if I don't think I'll enjoy the story I stay away. AO3's tagging systems is a freaking lifesaver for that imo as you can filter away a lot of stuff you don't want to see, like certain ships or genre tropes or even physical acts of affection/intimacy. Sometimes the summary of a story can also help you decide if it's something you would be interested in. And if there are certain things you DO want to see or certain characters or ships, you can exclusively look for stories that have them (like how I hang out almost exclusively in the Zeke x Tina tag on AO3 lol). Knowing what you do and don't like is crucial for this, though. If nothing else, you can just go onto the Bob's Burgers AO3 tag and scroll through the fics until you see something you want to try reading. And always remember that fanfic is supposed to be FUN, so if you start something and start to not like it there is no shame in clicking out. You are not obligated to keep reading something you don't like, not even if it's posted by someone you DO like. This is supposed to be a fun hobby, after all. I hope this helps you a little bit! And thank you so much for asking me about this, I feel honored. <3 Happy reading!

#pom answers #unclefathersantateddy #fanfic #i really hope this helps #and again so sorry for taking so long to answer orz #i'm such a turtle when it comes to answering asks i need to get better about it lol

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stormtwaa-blog · 1 year

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just wrote a lil zelink bc of brainrot

conviction

I don’t know how to explain things in ways that make sense. In abstract equivalencies and callously worded metaphors, I can dance around the meaning forever. I guess…

It’s just hard being you.

Finding the courage to remain stalwart and committed to convictions I’ve long since forgotten. To bear the weight of expectation, and to brandish it with no hesitancy. To see in your piercing eyes, a calmness; a sense of understanding. At first I hated it. You would always stand by my side, so silently, the breeze would hide away even the sounds of your breaths. Shocks of blonde hair would slowly fade into the bleeding sunlight from the horizon, and I would find myself surprised each time the warmth in your hands would reach mine, always to help, always to protect.

But instead, I hid away from your reach. For each time you reached out, you would kneel, and each time I tried understanding your fierce silence, unspoken yet profoundly expressive, your eyes would turn away, and your golden hair seemed to mock me as you stared at the ground in deferent respect.

I was just the princess and you were my knight. You were Link to me, but…. What was I to you?

Your duty had always taken priority, you had dedicated your every breath to mastering the glinting blade by your back after all. Is that why then?

Is that why these ugly beasts reared their heads within me? This boiling anger which seemed to rage within me like a storm at sea. Your calm eyes seemed to mock me, calm waters in contrast to my own and my words grew coarser and more callous by the day, worsened no doubt, by the lack of confidence I had in not just my abilities but…. Honestly, in the worth of my character.

You still stayed however. By obligation, or by choice, I could not ascertain, as I hadn’t yet heard your voice nor seen past your perfect defence.

However, I realised that day, when you stood silently before me, the blood curdling cries of the Yiga soldiers ringing in my ears, that regardless of the motivation behind your commitment, it was driven by real principles; a real person. And your dedication to keeping me safe was genuine. Though I had yet to understand its purpose, I started to see colours between the shades of grey I had acquainted with your each action; quirks in each small expression.

The way you would soothe your steed with a small self-satisfied smirk, the way your eyes would turn to faraway places when polishing your blade, reminiscing about people I’d loved to have known. You would listen to me talk, finally having learnt to hold my tongue from spouting spiteful jealousy, and in feigning understanding, or in trying very sincerely to emulate it, would try and bring me things you’d deemed relevant to my research.

Really you were just so sincere.

And I think that’s what changed things for me, anyway. To know one’s legacy isn’t burdensome should you find a way to carve it out in your own way. To find something to fight for that would place principle above passion.

I guess that day, in the rain-stricken nightmare that befell Hyrule, seeing that bright blue tunic sullied with mud, mixed in with a shade of crimson that made the breath leave my lungs….

I raised my hand in one desperate attempt to prevent your feeble grip from holding your sword one last time.

And I would do it again and again if I needed to. 100 years now and 100 years again.

For you always reminded me that courage need not be remembered as it is never forgotten.

And I had to make sure that that legacy remained.

Tysm for reading!!! I really wanted to mention that the beautiful line about courage was actually from an absolutely amazing zelink video here:

youtube

#zelink #zelda botw #botw link #botw #fanfic #Youtube #loz totk #totk fanfic

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golbrocklovely · 8 months

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I wish to know what’s going with Colby to hug him tight and tell that’s everything will be okay and that’s he’s not alone in this battle! , to Stay Strong! To just take it one day at a time , it’s does take time to heal but he will get there and everyone is there for you! ♥️…

i know. i want to give him the biggest hug ever and let him know he is so loved.

i think the issue is he's been thru so much this year. and he never gave himself time to really process what was happening to him. and what that means in the long term for the rest of his life. snc have a tendency to just jump back into things immediately after "taking a break" and my fear is that colby saw himself going thru chemo as a break just bc he wasn't working as much as he used to. and now that he's okay and he doesn't have to worry about that, i feel like he thought he could jump back into everything full throttle like normal. and reality is, you can't do that.

colby, of all ppl, deserves a break. like a deep, do nothing and lay in bed and just become a hermit, break. same with sam. i mean, before we found out about his cancer diagnosis, i had said earlier this year that i thought colby wanted a break. that he needed one. and i think that still rains true. just even more so now then before.

cancer and chemo are not just things you "get" over. you can't just bury yourself in work and think that things will sort themselves out in the end bc that's what you're used to. i love colby, but that method barely worked back when he was not going thru extremely stressful times. and now that the stress is at an all time high, he needs time off to figure things out.

colby, if you see this, i say this with all the respect in the world: please go to therapy. or counselling. or even find a group of cancer survivors in vegas/la to talk to. anything is better than keeping everything inside and thinking with time you'll just get over it. that's not gonna help.

and please take a break. i get you probably feel like you have an obligation to post or make content just bc you were gone for so long or bc hell week is coming up or whatever reason you can come up with. but you need to realize that fans will wait for you. we got all the time in the world. secondly, you have no obligation towards us. even with xplrclub. just turn off that subscription shit for a while, or have sam run it for a bit if he really can't fathom taking a break as well. like i get you love us, but FUCK us. we are not important. your health is 10000% more important than us.

this is not me pitying you or trying to make you feel bad for yourself. it's just the reality of the situation. needing a break doesn't mean you're weak or that you lose all sense of purpose if you aren't working. you are more than your accomplishments and what you are capable of doing work-wise.

(and that goes for everyone reading this too)

#ask #personal #colby brock

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sapphire-weapon · 10 months

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I used to draw for other small/rare ships (apparently I'm drawn to those kind of ships lol), only one of them got huge enough after they were given some time alone in the manga which got the ship more talented and known creators and amazing fan art.

Unfortunately it also got more hate on since it was a ship that "got in the way" of other huge popular ships and going through the tag got annoying bc the haters tagged every post shitting on the previously rare pairing, plus if you reblogged or made content for it they would harass you. I just blocked everyone sending me hate lmao.

Lots of people now hate Leon/Ashley but I think this increased hatred also shows how the haters can see that it is a thing now unlike before. They see it as a real threat. You can see the insecurity in some of those antis, it's too obvious and also just sad imo. I don't get why antis take shipping too seriously like they're not even having fun anymore and that's supposed to be the point, no?

Truth is I've seen so many Leon/Ashley fans online and even irl, Reddit for example loves it and Remake Ashley is a fan favorite now. A lot of them are more casual fans that maybe don't engage that deeply with fanon (which tbh is the smart thing to do).

Finally I have to say your blog and the amazing fic writers have inspired me to go back to drawing fan art and just creating content for Ashley/Leon or EagleOne. :)

Since this is my new otp and the only thing I love shipping rn I'm also just creating a new blog for that purpose. I'm not an amazing artist I'm just an amateur but I'll try to do something soon when I'm less busy. I'll absolutely tag it as EagleOne. Hopefully I can motivate others to do the same.

anon what the fuCK i got all emotional reading this wyd 😭

i know that the antis are coming from a place of insecurity, which is why their arguments are so disingenuous (i finally found the "the devs went out of their way to make sure that leon and ashley weren't seen as romantic" tweet and hoo boy the desperation is stinky) -- and that's also why i don't engage with them. as easy and perhaps fun as it would be to just QRT it and be like "oh it makes sense now, you're all using text to speech because you don't actually know how to read" there's no point in doing that.

i said it a while ago, but i want to say it again for good measure -- i don't want us to become them. my humble goal for eagleone fandom is to be a haven for ppl. we've been the black sheep of this fandom for so long, and aeons are still accusing us of being predators or someshit (idk i'm only semi-fluent in delusional) that i feel like we all have an obligation to stay humble now that capcom's given us a fairy tale version of RE4 where our ship is the front-and-center romance and people are finally actually being drawn to the ship. no one knows how bad this fandom can get better than eagleone folk, so it's on us to not do unto others what has been done unto us.

idk maybe that's just my whole jewish "because you were slaves in egypt..." mindset coming out but

i want us to be a place where people can just come and hang out and make friends over our shared love for resident evil. i know that i have serennedy and cleon and chreon and metaltango people all following me, and i love all of them dearly and i'm happy that we've all found each other. i feel like that's what fandom should be.

that's why i don't fight with aeons out in the open. i don't want to become them. i'll swing back if they ever come here (though i hope valuable lessons were learned the last time someone tried to come in here swinging and i took them out in exactly two responses LMAO), but i don't want to go out picking fights and i don't want any of y'all to do it either.

so it makes me feel really warm and fuzzy and happy to hear that i've inspired you in some way. i know that our little corner of the fandom over here on tumblr is small, and i know that i don't exactly have the kind of welcoming personality that will give me any sort of real platform in this fandom (at least, not like the one i had back in the day when i was a fake ass bitch LMAO), but to know that i've made at least a little difference is everything for me.

#if this ship is to be my legacy #then i would have this ship be the best version of us as RE fans that it can be

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wodnes--coyotl · 3 months

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the unfortunate news was given that my dad's chemo probably isn't working so he "might" have to do 30 day "isolation chemo" (?) which sounds horrible and scary. I want to visit him then if so... I don't want him to be alone for 30 days. I'm terrified he will be abusive to me.

when my mother died, she couldn't hurt me, even though I was terrified to see her. seeing her helpless body waste away from cancer was traumatizing but also released any fear I ever had of her, even though the memory of her abuse will always live in me.

my dad was not abusive like she was but sometimes i think he is worse for ever enabling her to be around me, ever choosing to "raise" a kid with her, comparatively, she had much less choice in her actions than he did.

i dont know what it means or if it will help. i didnt think these chemo rounds would help... i never thought my dad would get better... but hearing the advancing news doesn't help.

especially after watching someone's long term dying lead to hospice and then death and how irreverently it was handled, in this household (my partner's grandmother).

my dad will lose whatever hair he has left and im sure will look unrecognizable in a way.

whatever anger or apathy i have to combat my sense of obligation that shouldnt even really exist... i feel for him. im scared for him. i dont want him to suffer, and i dont know if it's worth going through.

i dont want to sway his decision, im positive he will die from this either way. i dont want to lose time with him, but ive already lost time. he's had 30 years to fix this and he hasnt...

i dont know if i can physically handle the grief of seeing him this way.

he always sounds livelier over the phone than he is, but... he didn't watch his parents die this way.

i will lose both of my parents to horrible forms of cancer (i mean, they're all horrible). at least Gene froze to death and it shocked everyone and he didn't suffer.

we've been iced in for a week here in p0rtland, and i got money back that i "owed" to unemployment when gene died. it felt like, after 3 years, he was helping me,... of all times to get the money back now... itll help me move out of my in laws... but a horrible thought happened... what if it's because my dad is going to go sooner than we thought?

i cant decide, anyways, and ocd is a bitch.

my back is killing me from days of making music and trying to learn mixing and mastering and animation and editing just for the fuck of it to stay sane, entirely diy.

today i cant focus, anymore... im listening to david bowie and crying alone and listening to my stupid in laws talking in the kitchen. i cant mourn here because this is a house of narcissism and enabling. hell, someone DIED in THEIR family and THEY wont/cant even mourn.

if my dad doesnt take the chemo, he will continue to failingly rely on his weekly (or more) blood transfusions. and eventually, he will die. maybe he will choose that to spare himself, and in a way, i almost wish he would, but i cant say i really wish that, ... i wish he was a better father, i wish he didnt have cancer even if he is 73, i dont wish him a sudden death bc itd be jarring but a long way is almost worse. i dont know what i want. i wish he couldve ever cared for me so that i could care for him. but what happened is he didnt care for me, and i care, but i cant care FOR him. i cant fix this. i cant love or unlove or hurt or unhurt it away.

when he dies i will not have any family left.

and then some part of me will be released from this burden of grieving a family that was always "dead" to me, but now, permanently, which will just feel fucked up.

ive spent 3 years grieving mom and gene. then i will grieve him too. when will it fucking end

in spite of this i have to work hard to perservere bc its what gene would want. its what my dad would want even tho fuck what he wants. its what *i* would want if i was diagnosed with cancer tomorrow myself or in 40 years. im terrified.

im tired.

im so goddamn tired

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stillresolved · 30 days

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💕 For all my blogs, uroborosymphony, geaesaekki, usuhan, yaoogui, devangelis

Dammit I sent without finishing my line : for all my blogs even though we already have many pairings and ships already<3 (2/2)

@uroborosymphony / send 💕 and I will tell you some muses...

HELLO LYNNIE nyahahaha, i'm here to enable you some more my dear friend bc we can never have too many plots/dynamics JFKSLDJFL :'D i'll talk about characters i have on my other blogs and to obligate myself to write out the new muses profiles, i will also include the muses i planning on add in the (hopefully) near future <3 i'll go in order here :3

@/uroborosymphony:

okay so i know that CALISTA is on hiatus, HOWEVER would she like a friend aka can YOOJIN be frends with her bc they are both immortals who lowkey wanna die (yoojin's just better at hiding it :'( )...but they cope with their immortality in opposite ways. whereas calista hides away from society in one place, yoojin is a nomad, can't stay in one place for too long. i could see something in calista resonating with yoojin when it comes to tru feelings....also just thinking yoojin randomly visiting her like once a century bc 'hi i know we haven't talked since like the 1900s so how have you been'. also more opposite vibes in that calista loves reading and you would have to pay yoojin to hold a book :'D

we did talk about this briefly but...ILANA?? being the lu*cy-gr*ey figure for my interpretation of SNOW 🤩🤩🤩 aka being the one person who haunts him for life bc she was the one person who escaped him....and who he could never control. i see them being like toxic lovers ( although the toxicity is probably coming from his side more :'D )...this is also to say though if we're doing something similar to the books, i would love...if ELISE, the mockingjay figure in our THG verse, could perhaps be a descendant of ilana since she had to have heard one of ilana's songs (the hanging tree) from somewhere....i don't think elise would have to be a grandchild of ilana, but you know ilana haunting snow would be a dream come tru of mine <3

still building on that though, PERHAPS?? in the crime verse, since i plan on SNOW being like the mastermind of ANACHRON, maybe he and ILANA could also have been lovers for a brief time too?? before she scams him and maybe it was a while back , but snow also suck at letting things which is probably why he ended up opening base in seoul aka subconsciously looking for her, but also wanting to hm, how should i say this, show her how much better off he is without her anyways if that makes any sense?? basically he's a boy having a temper tantrum about a situationship that didn't work out fjskldfjskl

also obviously GREY and ARA, still gotta work out most personality and backstory stuff for him, but grey would follow ara to the ends of the earth <3

@/geaesaekki:

we talked about this briefly in the dms, but STILL, GAYA in the THG verse being SNOW's wife by arranged marriage, but lowkey those two could be a power couple (panem needs more than just a despotic president uphold the system :'D) BUT ALSO in the crime verse perhaps, after her fall from grace (unless you have other plans for her of course), he offers a means of redeeming herself in the public's eyes aka ANACHRON's front is a charity organization so if you want her to pick the evil side again :3 they can casually date too if you're interested <3

i feel like GAYA and GA-RAM could probably have a connection of some sort too since most likely gaya would have heard of ga-ram's father AND probably about yo-han as well...maybe they were acquaintances since they're technically in the same field.

also i remember!! seeing a plot you once posted with the other muse killing someone and MARA being there to help them through it....what if that muse was ANNIE :3 ( although she might end up going to ARA instead though 🤔🤔🤔 ). this could also be NELL since she wouldn't want to tell myungdae or alfred about this :/ nell could also help mara with mask girl things since that does take place...over the net too!!

on a lighter note though, perhaps MARA could be acquaintances with SUKI since suki does drop by the gangnam police station often to visit her friend there...i think they could get along and also suki is....a fan of vigilantes so she would probably following the activities of mask girl bc she can 🤩🤩🤩

also if MARA is looking for more...illegal information, perhaps ALFRED could be a source of information. i have a thought about him opening up shop in seoul with a coffeehouse as cover for dealing with the exchange of information (it also acts as a community center in the neighborhood tho <3)

more MARA apparently :'D i think you also mentioned looking for undercover threads so perhaps since FELICITY is also undercover as an executive assistant for guess who, SNOW, she and mara could be allies of sort on the field? more on that later!!

@/usuhan:

okay this is where i'll be talking a lot MORE about the muses to be added because i would like for SNOW in his modern verse?? to be a patron of La Rose because one, his favorite flowers are roses, two, he'd be rich enough to get in anyways, but also three, he's deprieved enough to want to be a member there :/ anyways, if you want, he could be casually hooking up with SERAPHINA while being 'pals' with DANTE ( although that might contradict the fact that in his THG verse, he's technically married to gaya...but then again he is a bastard so i'm not putting him above sleeping with sera before switching over to being lovers with gaya :// )

you know how GA-RAM hates rich people? you know how BELLAMY is a textbook example of 'rich people' so what if ga-ram was part of the fighting ring circle bel watches bc ga-ram needs a way to let off steam (they're already rich thanks to yo-han :'D)...maybe bel can sponsor them??

obviously we have SERAPHINA and AERI to develop, but also what about aeri and DANTE's relationship aka in-laws interactions, although i'm not sure what assumptions to make about dante quite yet...although perhaps mama kang made aeri go see dante for like 'therapy sessions' :'D i could see aeri at least begrudgingly respecting him....maybe dante sees her as amusing to be around if only to psychoanalyze her fjskldjfslk

also if SNOW is in la rose, i have a feeling he'd also drag FELICITY into the club too. maybe SERAPHINA and/or DANTE could be suspicious of her since her only connection is through snow and low key i could see felicity wanting to down la rose as well...also just an aesthetic thought but felicity in a fine dress and also pseudo flirt(ish cause she's technically only an assistant) with dante to try and get more information and felicity will be giving the popular girl vibes :D. no feelings on her end though bc she's already in love with you know who <3

@/yaoogui:

gonna be honest, i don't know if i have as many for the muses here since most of my muses aren't exactly involved with straight up ya*kuza crime life...that being said, i still would love?? for DAI and SUKI to like be friends kinda?? since i MUST continue the trend of suki being friends with the most unexpected of ppl...maybe she doesn't have to know about dai's history, but she could become a regular at the octogon club... dai probably invited her bc he thought she was funny and she was like 'well i like free alcohol, can you get me paper too' ...gonna be honest but i feel like this would be more of a crack dynamic :'D

oh!! but also perhaps DAI and ALFRED have a business partner kind of relationship/old comrades kinda relationship?? i'm thinking of alfred deciding to fly solo when it comes to information dealing and maybe he did a favor for dai and they became drinking buddies back in the day....so if alfred needs a favor, dai's the guy to go to unless it impedes on yamazaki clan business

@/devangelis:

alrighty we're on the last one, so obviously if she knows myungdae, then she would probably know about ALFRED and NELL....but also!! i would love for her to meet SUKI as well since suki is friends with myungdae aka the pigeon man ( obviously ONE DAY....i want deva and alex's hyuk to interact too bc those two are both important ppl to patrick :'D )....perhaps deva would be amused by suki as well

since deva is devoted to proper journalism, maybe she could have been looking into GA-RAM's father's death and the circumstances there and yeah there is ga-ram refusing to help at first but also 'c'mon don't you want to clear your family's name once and for all?'

also if DEVA is a friend of patrick, i could see FELICITY approaching her at least once just to say 'thank you for being there for him when i couldn't be' <3

adding one more to this, it's angsty one, but perhaps during the revolution let's say both PATRICK and deva's beloveds are kidnapped by the capitol so the both of them?? are literally just going stir crazy out of their minds with worry and wow, the only ppl who are going to be able to calm them down is each other :'D....either that or they take turns breaking down bc they are mom and dad someone has to keep it together for the rest of the victors :'D

okie that's all i got for now, but we don't have to do any of these if you are not interested!! THANKS FOR ENABLING ME AGAIN LYNNIE and cheers to the 48293048230 plots we will hopefully develop in the future 🤩🤩🤩

#suicidal ideation cw #uroborosymphony #( answered. )#( ferre answered. )#hahahaha this got SO long :'DDDD #i'd tag all your blogs but uh...i know that'd be more unneccesary notifications #so i'll just tag ur main one <3 #i started on this late and then i JUST COULDN'T?? STOP :'DDD i will regret this in the morning but it's okay <333 #it was worth it :D #lmk what you think of course #AND THANKS AGAIN FOR SENDING THIS IN FJSKLDFJSLKDJF

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laurmaus · 2 months

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My twitter rant thread j didnt even read before posting any of this it’s in my personal priv hold on let me get the context photo i started writing before she even opened her MOUTH to elaborate sorry im very passionaye about this

ALL OF THE ABOVE IS FUCKING FRAZY. WHAT THE HELL DO U MEAN U WANT TO WAIT TO GET TO KNOW HIM MORE DO U REALIZE HOW SRUPID THAT SOUNDS THE GARROTH OPTION US STUPID TOO HOW IS HE ETILL IN THE OICTYTR IN ANY WAY SHAPE OR FORM He has been by your side for AS LONG AS HES KNOWN YOU literally every single waking moment he’s spent dedicated to protecting you and making you laugh and Smile and like yeah that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to like him back but to say you want to get to know him more first is fucking insane you know EVERYTHING possibke anout laurance you’ve known him since before he was a shadow night you’ve stayed with him by his bedside while he was blind you saw him change hair and change eyes and become your friend your guard your right hand man he lived with you when the threat of okasis and scaleswind came to light he was the ONLY ONE you could trust when the amulet was discovered while garroth was too busy being brainwashed you two went out and GOT SHIT DONE He’s given his heart out so many times risked his life loo ked after malachi been a shoulder to lean on im dead seriois when i say NO ONE ELSE in this entire series has done this much for aphmau like even in the stupid non canon short stories you can See how much he cares and values her so much more than just a love interest but a friend he’s always cared and remembered small insignificant things about her when NO ONE else did like that fall was her favorite season or that she really liked mash potatoes when he found out garroth had a crush on her he literally tried to help SO MANY TIMES FULLY KNOWING!!!!!what it would mean if his attempts actually worked like he is not a jealous person thats the whole point of the SPEEL HE GAVE TO GARROTH IN THE IRENE DIMENSION laurwnfe is completely willing to give his own chance of a romantic relationship up in exchange of helping his friend he says in the beginning of season two i think like oh even if you do get with someone else i know you don’t love me just please let me stay by your side CAFENZA SAYS IT TOO he’s always putting aside his own happiness to see aphmau happy and yeah that’s really sad and unhealthy but watching his light hearted character slowly be warped into one whose jealous and impulsive and puts his own judgement in the moment above the safety of others is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of everything he stands for oughhhhthat just makes me mad and c aphmau is a BITCH for acting like shes in the middle of this super crazy unexplainable situation while all of this is happening like WTF R U TALKING ABOUT I want to wait to get to know him more WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO KNOW????????GENIUENLY LIKE AM I MISSING SOMETHING HERE and WHY is garroth still in the roster am i crazy for not getting that either HOW CAN USERUOUSLT BE CONSIDERING THE MAN WHO IS SO INSECURE HE ISOLATED HIMSELF ABANDONED YOU AND YOUR VILLAGE AS HEAD!!!GUARD!!!!! All bc he thought you got with laurance WHICH SHE LITERALLY DID BTW but thays besides the point garroth has ACCEPTED he can’t be with aphmau and to bring the whole catalyst of the s1 finale back a quarter into the next season is weird especially when it wasn’t acknowledged while the situation itself was happening Dragging garroth back as a love interest was weird to me i geniuenly dont get it but maybe tbats bc im really bias?????? Maybe i don’t see something here but idk i think the whole game laurance is waiting to play when garroth is saved is weird and not a situation aphmau should be allowing like girl stand up😭 Why is she agreeing to wait for garroth to see “who she chooses” do u realize how fucking insane that sounds i don’t know if i’m explaining this jna way that makes sense ok im tired of writing this BRING OLD LAURMAU BACK🔥🔥🔥🔥

#IF IM WRONG IM SORRY i typed straight from my heart i am open to changing my mind abt whateve maybe km missing sometning here #oughhhh #aaugghhnooooo Nooooo laurmau😭😭😭😭😭

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