#don’t you get bored with bum shots?

[msstonetriestobehave]

Zag Zig Zebra

#don’t you get bored with bum shots? #happy hump day #msstonetriestobehave #itsmsstone

[enkas-illusion]

The Worst Kept Secret

Fandom / Pairing: Jujutsu Kaisen / Toji Fushiguro x f!reader

Rating: NSFW/Explicit - MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

Genre/Theme: Co-workers to lovers; non-sorcery au

Content warning: fluff but not too much, smut, oral (f & m receiving), piv sex, dom!Toji, sub!reader, overstimulation, unprotected sex, explicit sexual content, language, Toji has a filthy mouth.

Summary: Your colleague Toji only has eyes for you, despite having a reputation of sorts. Porn with a plot… or more like a build up.

Author's Note: Co-worker Toji is instantly attractive cause a) he’s not a bum and b) he’s Toji-fucking-Fushiguro – that’s all in my defence, your honour! This shit is nasty… no, I won’t explain myself (I'm pretty sure i was possessed while writing this). 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one shot, please write to me and let me know your thoughts. I love reading whenever people have elaborate things to say T.T Thank you for reading! 

-Eren’s Birdie

Song Dedication: Talk by Hozier

“Rat!” you exclaim as you hold your phone up to display the word written boldly on the screen.

“Ummm…. It’s not a rat, it's not a patootie, it’s a ratatouille!” your coworker, Lisa, blurts out excitedly.

You both look at each other, trying your best to control before you burst out laughing. This goes on for about a minute till your bellies hurt and you’re wheezing. You quiet down as you wipe the tears forming in the corner of your eyes. 

“Why don’t I know that one?” your other coworker, Ema, mutters with furrowed eyebrows, confused at what could possibly be so funny about the sentence.

You’re too drunk to realise that sober you would not find it as funny as you do right now. But that’s what happens when you party a little too hard with your coworkers on a work trip and then hang around the hotel bar because nobody wants to go to bed even at 3am.

You look around at the handful of your coworkers, randomly occupying different spots at the bar, all too dazed and into their own conversations to pay attention to the stupid game that the three of you were currently playing – A word game your genius minds had developed, using a random word generator app and use it in a meme-able sentence.

“Oh god… next word. Feminism!” Lisa squeals, snatching your phone from you to generate the word for your turn.

“Fuck… I suddenly can’t think of anything,” you admit and giggle, trying hard to work your brain.

“Seriously…” 

“Wait, Wait… I need a few seconds,” you laugh, trying to save yourself. You look around and your eyes land on your office crush, Toji Fushiguro, sitting at the bar with your boss, Kento Nanami. 

You look back to your group with a determined look in your eyes, ready with your sentence. “I want him to do things to me that feminism wouldn’t agree with,” you giggle like a teenager, “hah! I’m a genius.”

However, your friends have fixated on something else entirely, ignoring your perfect answer, since their eyes follow your line of vision to the bar. “So, what’s the scene?” Ema looks back at you.

“It's your turn, next word–”

“Nah, we’re bored… this is far more interesting,” her eyebrows wiggle, as she scoots closer to you on the sofa. By the looks of it, Lisa has also forgotten about the game in a second. You realise you’ve dug this hole for yourself, yet you don’t mind sharing a drunk confession with your friends.

“Let’s head out for a smoke,” you get up from the sofa. Lisa is quick to grab her purse as both your friends spring up, hurrying to happily follow you out onto the secluded porch outside, ready for gossip.

As you light up your cigarette, Ema looks at you expectantly. Looking at her face makes you snort and you cough out the smoke before speaking, “Have some patience! Besides, there's nothing too juicy about this gossip.”

“Pleaseeee, literally everyone saw the way Toji was glaring at the man who asked you for a dance tonight… not gonna lie, he looked kinda hot when he got mad,” Lisa catches your lie as she fawns over Toji, something that has become a regular thing among the female coworkers at the company. 

“I know right? And I said no to the guy! What was he so pissed about anyway?” you protest.

“It's all because you agreed when the dude was like ‘at least let me buy you a drink sweetie’!” Ema imitates the stranger from the bar from hours ago.

“Hey! Who says no to free drinks?” you defend yourself.

“Okay, fair,” Lisa nods her head before realising, “aye, focus on the matter at hand! Why did you say no to the guy? He was cute.”

“Was he really though?” you retort.

“Yeah, like you’d notice anyone else when Toji's around… Please fuck him, I need some office drama!” Lisa snaps back before taking a long drag from her cigarette. 

“Yea right… I’m serious though,” you ponder between slow drags, “I doubt anything is going to happen between Toji and I.”

“Why not?!” Ema whines and you laugh at how it seems like they’re more desperate about this whole thing than you are.

“Need I remind you I literally just got out of a relationship? This is no time to be having stupid crushes. I need some alone time… besides you know how his reputation is. Sure, he flirts with me and I enjoy it a lot but I don't know,” you explain as if it’s an automated response stored in you.

“So what? Then just fuck him and get it over with. They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone!” Lisa giggles, “Besidesss, I've heard he’s really good in bed… heard it from a mutual– uhhh, I don't really remember her name.”

“Oh wait, shit I remember that!” Ema squeals, almost dropping the cigarette from her hand in excitement, “But didn’t she also say that he basically ghosted her after? He just fucks around, I guess.”

“Hence the reputation… Men like Toji are the most charming kind. They know exactly what to say to get you to sleep with them but disappear when it comes to commitment,” Lisa ponders, staring into the distance.

“Exactly, everyone says that Toji doesn’t do relationships. And as horny and curious as I might be, I don’t just want us to fuck and leave it at that. It’d be way too awkward to have such a dynamic at the workplace,” you reason and they simply nod. There’s a beat of silence as all three of you smoke quietly.

“Still though… would it be so bad to just give it a shot? Simply see it as a one night stand and get it over with? If he’s that indifferent about it, I doubt it’d be awkward at work,” Lisa presses.

“I know right! I dont get why you’re thinking so much about it. At least the sex would be killer even if nothing else is assured,” Ema advises.

You take another big drag before dropping the bud to the ground and crushing it with your heel, “Hmmm… that’s true, I’ll think about it.”

“Think soon and try to seduce him in the three days we have here!” Lisa squeezes your shoulder encouragingly. 

“Yes! If you don’t want to, please allow me to! He looked so delicious yesterday,” Ema sighs and by the look on her face, you can tell she’s probably recalling memories of a shirtless Toji playing volleyball at the beach from yesterday. 

“Be my guest… but do it tomorrow, you’ve had a lot to drink tonight,” you snort.

“Please, drunk or sober, if there is one hook up I wouldn’t regret, it’d be him… after our boss of course,” Ema confesses.

“Yeah right. Either of us could still have a shot with Kento. Toji only flirts back with you,” Lisa looks at you with narrowed eyes.

You laugh before a sudden chill runs down your spine, and you cuss at the feeling, “Motherfucker– Should’ve gotten a coat. It's getting cold.”

Your coworkers eye each other mischievously before Lisa snickers, “Why don’t you ask loverboy to help you with it instead? That way you’d be warm inside out.”

“Oh yeah, great idea! Let me go back inside to find him–” you cut off when you see a figure walking outside towards your group.

You signal Ema, who has her back turned to the encroaching new presence, to shut up but it's too late as she fake moans, “Exactly… I’m sure he’d love to indulge you, he’d basically been eye-banging you all night, harder Toji, fuck yea–” 

“HEY TOJI! What’s up!” you’re basically shouting at the guy when he’s a few feet away, hoping to cover up and save yourself.

Maybe he senses your embarrassment, or maybe he didn’t hear her (hopefully) but he doesn’t say anything about it. Instead he greets the group and there’s an awfully awkward feeling in the air.

“Ladies,” he speaks coolly as he stands next to you, “Glad I found you here since boss man was looking for you two.” 

“Kento?!” Ema’s ears shoot up at his sentence as she exchanges a grin with Lisa. They rush ahead inside and as you are about to follow them, you feel a hand on your wrist holding you back. You turn to look at him with a confused frown.

“Where do you think you’re going? I was just getting rid of the two of them,” he smirks, making you look at his pillowy lips. 

When he catches you staring, you look down quickly, tugging a strand of your hair behind your ear nervously, “Oh… So, Kento wasn’t really looking for them?”

“Nope.”

“Oh… that’s– they’re gonna be disappointed,” you chuckle lightly as you fidget with your phone’s cover.

“Well, sucks for them, I guess,” he holds two fingers under your chin to make you look up at him, “You look pretty… you usually do, but even more so in that tiny dress.”

Your eyes grow wide at his confession as you feel the heat rush to your cheeks and you mutter a quiet ‘thank you’. You move to the front of the porch as you stare out at the vast night sky, partly to avoid feeling so mushy and partly because you feel the alcohol toying with your nerves. 

Another chill rushes down your spine and you’re pretty sure it makes you shiver visibly. As you mutter a quiet ‘fuck’, you feel him wrap his denim jacket around your shoulders. Your eyes widen at him in surprise.

“What? I’m a gentleman,” he teases, standing closer next to you. You laugh at this, turning to face him as you shake your head.

“Sure… a gentleman with a reputation,” you roll your eyes as you wrap your arms around your torso in an attempt to keep yourself warm. What you don’t realise is that this action further pushes your boobs together, causing Toji’s eyes to wander down briefly before he looks back into your eyes again.

“Aren’t you ever curious to know if I live up to that reputation?” he raises an eyebrow as he leans down closer to your face.

“Hmm, sure… if you were a stranger at a club and not someone who I had to see at work 9 hours a day, 5 days a week,” you roll your eyes at him as you bring up one hand to slowly run a finger down his shoulder to the outline of his bicep.

“Well, we see each other everyday anyway, so why not turn it into something we actively look forward to,” his fingers graze your jawline softly while his eyes shamelessly fixate on the dip of your cleavage, giving him a better view from the way he’s towering over you.

“As tempting as that is… I don’t do one night stands Toji–”

“Who said anything about just one night?” he interrupts and you tilt your head to the side in confusion, “I’m not stupid to approach someone I work with if I was simply looking for a quick fuck.”

“Oh… then please tell me what exactly you’re looking for?” you speak softly but it comes out more arrogantly than you’d like.

“You. I intend to fuck you more than once.” he’s direct yet his calm demeanour never wavers. 

You let out a nervous chuckle, “Look Toji… you’re hot, charming and oddly easy to get along with but I just got out of a relationship, it’s barely been two months–”

“I know… his loss for letting such a sweet thing go. Didn’t he initiate the break up? What a loser,” Toji laughs as his hand cups your face. 

You simply stare at him in bewilderment, you had no idea the news of your breakup had travelled even to the non-gossipers.

“Why me?” you ask, your curiosity getting the best of you.

“For starters, you’re hot. Two, I like it when we hang out outside of work, you put me at ease with your conversations. Three, I haven’t been able to hook up with anyone else for about a month since I found out about your ex… such a pretty girl should be cherished the way she deserves to be,” his fingers slide down to your collarbone, threatening to dip down even lower.

“Hmm… that’s a good enough pitch, so you want us to be fuck buddies? Exclusively?” you play with the collar of his shirt, entertaining the idea.

“Yeah, I’m not one to share,” his other hand comes up to brush his thumb against your bottom lip.

“Nothing serious?” you pout at him with fake disappointment.

“Not until the both of us feel like it,” he dips his thumb inside your mouth while his other hand snaked around your waist. You suck on his thumb as you stare into his eyes and he feels his blood rush straight to his cock.

“I can work with that,” you give him an innocent smile, “But let’s not be too obvious about it, I’d hate for our little arrangement to mess with our work life.”

“Perfect,” he smiles as he cups your jaw, staring at your lips while sliding his tongue over his lips to wet them instinctively.

Just as he’s about to lean down to kiss you, you pull back when you hear distant footsteps approaching. You see your two friends walking back towards you, talking among themselves.

“Hey, we couldn’t find Kento at the bar,” Ema mumbles.

“Really? He must’ve gone back to his room. Maybe ask him about it tomorrow,” Toji speaks innocently and you press your lips together to keep yourself from laughing.

You see Ema eyeing the jacket you’re wearing suspiciously and you suddenly take it off to hand it to Toji.

“Keep it. You’ll get cold again… return it tomorrow morning.” Toji speaks before you have a chance to give it back to him. You nod as you hold it closer to your chest.

“Alright then. Good night ladies,” he smiles politely before walking back inside. When your eyes shift from his diminishing silhouette to your two friends, they’re both staring at you with hopeful eyes.

“Nothing happened!” you exclaim and their faces drop.

“Fine, that’s it! I’m calling dibs, I’m gonna flirt with him,” Ema retorts. You simply chuckle and shrug, diverting your attention to your phone when it vibrates in your hand. You look at the notification and it’s a text from Toji.

Toji (Work):

Room no. 9010

Don’t leave me hanging, pretty

You lock your phone quickly as you look up again to force yourself to focus on the conversation.

“Could you not get the bottle from the cute bartender? We could’ve taken it to the room,” Ema sighs.

“No but I gave him my room number soooo…” Lisa giggles.

“Guys, I’m feeling a bit too drunk and tired to continue so I’m just gonna go to my room and sleep, okay?” you make up an excuse, hoping it seems believable. However, the girls are too drunk to analyse your lies and they simply pout and bid you ‘goodnight’ in a singsong voice, giving you a group hug.

You quickly make your way to the elevator and press the button to the ninth floor. And although you’re wearing his jacket again, you still feel your body shiver. You take a deep breath when you hear a ding, signalling your arrival. You walk out into the long passage quietly, skimming over the numbers till you spot his room, your heart feeling like it's about to fall out of your chest due to the thrill.

You knock on the door twice and fix your hair nervously. When no one answers, you unlock your phone to call him. You almost let out a scream when you hear the door unlock and he pulls you inside, catching you by surprise and making you stumble.

Before you have a chance to speak, Toji slams the door shut behind you, pushing your body against it before kissing you hungrily. You place your hands on his chest, creasing the fabric as you pull at it, humming into the kiss when his tongue shoves into your mouth. You close your eyes, the fluttering in your stomach making its way down to your core as his tongue plays with yours, making wet smooching sounds in the otherwise quiet room.

“I think you’ve misunderstood this. I’m simply here to return your jacket,” you tease, huffing as you catch your breath when your lips part. He smirks as he slides the jacket off your body till it pools near your feet before caging you against his body with his arms locking around your waist.

“Of course, this is me simply thanking you for returning it,” he moves one hand lower till it’s massaging the flesh of your thigh just below where the fabric of your dress ends.

“Oh, you’re welcome,” you give him another innocent smile as you wrap your arms around his neck and pull his head down for another kiss. 

His hands lift up your dress to your stomach before going back down to squeeze your ass. He deepens the kiss as he towers over you, making you arch your back, causing you to hook your arms around him to keep your balance.

When you break the kiss for another shallow breath, he moves to your jaw, biting and pulling your skin with his teeth as he makes his way down to your neck. You tilt your head to give him more access, letting out soft sighs as he leaves sloppy kisses all over the expanse of your neck.

While his left hand hooks around your waist to keep you steady, he brings his right hand over to your mound, pressing the sticky lace of your thong into your folds. When he feels how wet you are, he groans against your skin, biting it again.

He rubs over the fabric again and you moan out of frustration, he's so close yet there's a tiny barrier between. You try to grind against his hand, whining when he pulls away.

He gets down on his knees before you can complain and lifts your right leg over his shoulder, securing it in place. You lean your whole weight against the door, feeling like you'd fall if you didn’t have something solid to hold onto, so your hands make their way down to tug at his hair.

Toji hooks two fingers into the lace, pulling the fabric to the side to expose your puffy folds to him. He slowly slides two fingers over to separate them, your wetness coating the tips of his fingers immediately. 

“Knew you had a pretty cunt,” he murmurs as his eyes remain fixed on the way his fingers are working you. You let out a breathy moan, tightening your grip on his hair.

He brings his face closer to your core, peppering the entire area with soft kisses. You thrust forward into his face but it only makes him slap the inside of your right thigh harshly.

“Toji… please, stop teasin– ngh,” you plead but your words get caught in your throat when he licks a stripe up your cunt like it's a melting ice cream. He darts his tongue out to wiggle it over your clit and your legs feel as if they're about to snap and go limp.

“Toji– wait… I n-need to take off my heels,” you huff.

“No. They stay on,” is all he says before sliding two fingers into your hole with ease, and at the same time getting back to making out with your clit.

“Fuck– Toji please– ah,” your straight knee buckles forward as you yank at his hair some more to steady yourself. You let out an involuntary yelp when he lifts your other leg over his shoulder as well, burying his face into your pussy, hooking both his arms around your thighs. While this angle hits better, you feel a different kind of thrill about completely having given up control and trusting him not to drop you to the floor.

As you lean your head against the door, your hips rut further into his face and Toji doesn’t relent even for a second. As you hook your feet behind his neck, he brings his right hand down to your hole again, pushing three fingers in this time, meeting with a bit of resistance. The squelching sound of his fingers fucking your hole mixes with the sound of his lips sucking your clit.

“Feel s-so good,” you pant as your thighs twitch around his face. You shaky hands run through his hair weakly as you try to steady your ragged breathing. Each time Toji hits the right spot inside your walls, you moan out praises and encouragement for him to keep going.

He curls his fingers as he picks up the pace and it's brutal. You hold his hair so tight that you hear him hiss momentary before getting back to fucking you with his tongue.

You close your eyes shut as your hip involuntary thrusts forward, twitching uncontrollably as you come all over his fingers. You bite your tongue to control your moans, turning them into muffled whimpers instead. He pulls his hand out to hook it back around your thigh as his tongue starts lapping at your juices to lick you clean.

“Ngh– Toji, too much!” You squeal as you try to move your hips away from his touch but it causes him to poke his tongue out further over your sensitive skin.

“God– please, baby I can’t take it anymore,” you cry as your body jerks violently again. You hear him chuckle before kissing your clit one last time and pulling your legs off his shoulders and standing up again.

When you land on your feet, you're glad he’s holding your waist to keep you from crashing to the ground. He kisses you on your lips and you taste yourself on his tongue. It's enough to take your already intoxicated mind to a new level of high.

He slowly lets you go before stepping back to create distance as he hurriedly takes off his clothes and your eyes widen when you see the way his erect dick hangs low and heavy.

He grabs a condom from his wallet, tearing off the cover before sliding the rubber over his hung cock smoothly. The smug smile on his face grows wider when your eyes peel away from his dick to meet his gaze. You stare at him with a look of astonishment mixed with nervousness. 

“Toji… you're–” you whisper silently. Toji is blessed to say the least.

“It's okay, don't be scared, pretty. I'll make it fit perfectly,” he cooes as he closes the distance between your bodies.

You gulp when he pressed his hands on either side of you, caging you against the door. As he's kissing your shoulder, his hands move to your back to undo your zip. He struggles a bit, fiddling with the zip of your dress and you’re pretty sure you hear a rip when he grows impatient, tugging at the fabric harshly.

“Did you jus–”

“Shh… later,” he blurts out, not giving you a chance to complain as he pulls the dress down your body, unhooking your bra to yank it down. He quickly takes off your thong as well, leaving you exposed as you stand in front of him in only your heels.

“So much better than what I had imagined,” he stares at your naked figure hungrily and you pull him closer to kiss him once again, already missing the way his lips feel.

You wrap your hands around his torso to feel his muscular back with your fingers, growing wetter at how huge his body feels compared to yours. He pulls away to lean down, latching his mouth onto one of your nipples. 

You let out a satisfied hum and he repeats the action on your other nipple. Your eyebrows furrow as your back arches at the sensation and you weakly claw at his pecs.

“Fuck– I can't wait any longer… Just let me know if it hurts too much,” he groans as he scoots you up off the floor completely, hooking your knees over his elbows, opening you up wider as he readjusts his pelvis under you.

You bring a hand down to guide his tip to your entrance, sucking in a deep breath as you look down, anticipating his movement as he begins pushing his dick inside you. 

With your legs spread apart firmly, he presses his hips up, almost losing his shit at how tight you feel. You bring both of your hands up to hug them around his neck. You steady yourself, resting your cheek onto his shoulder briefly when you feel his movement come to a halt. You feel so full, there's a delicious ache in your lower belly.

“Shit– I'm gonna move now, okay?” he grunts. You simply nod your head as he grabs you by your sides to push your lower body away till only his tip is inside before pulling you in closer to fill you up again.

Your eyes roll to the back of your head while your mouth hangs open when Toji begins to slam you onto his hard length, repeating the motion over and over again as you let out broken cries of his name. When he picks up speed, your pussy flutters at the abnormal feeling, causing him to pounce into you harder.

“Oh god– nghh– Toji!” You cry into the crook of his neck.

“Mmh– look at me, let me see that pretty face,” he orders breathily. You pull away from his neck reluctantly, eyebrows still knitted as your lips stay fixed in a silent O shape.

“Look at how well you take my cock… ‘ts a perfect fit,” he hisses when your pussy squeezes him again at his words. You'd always thought that Toji would be the silent type, just like he was at the office, but seeing him spew such vile praises just adds more to the intensity of it all.

“Fuck– Toj–” you whimper as you rest your forehead against his.

‘Hmm? Yes, pretty? Cock got your tongue?” He laughs but it's strained. You tilt your head to kiss him on the lips and he shoves his tongue into your mouth to kiss you back hungrily. You moan into the kiss when he thrusts harder. In a swift motion he pulls away from the kiss, dropping your legs to the ground as he pulls out of you to turn you around.

He pulls your hips back to meet his, while pushing your face flush against the door to arch your back for him. He slides back into your hole in an instant, rutting into you from behind. Your hands press against the surface of the door while he grips onto your hips tighter to keep them from jerking forward due to the force.

You bring your left hand down to rub your clit, the pressure building up further as you get closer to your release. Toji leans forward to press his chest against your back, hooking his hand down to swat yours away. Instead, he replaces it with his fingers to toy with your clit and it feels so much better than your own dainty ones.

When your legs start to shiver as the pressure in your stomach builds up, Toji brings his other hand to intertwine his fingers with yours, pushing your chest further into the door.

With the way you're screaming his name, you're pretty sure anyone passing by outside can hear you. You wonder if that's the reason he's doing it, to show people just how good he's fucking you.

“Toji fuck– I'm coming– fuck!” You cry as your legs shake as you cum hard, threatening to give out, not being able to hold your weight. Despite wanting to finish himself, obsessed over how your pussy is sucking him in, he knows it'll be a bit too much for you to handle at the moment. So, he slows down as he secures one hand around your waist before pulling out completely. 

He turns you around till you're facing him, taking deep breaths to calm your breathing. He bends down to swing your body over his shoulder with ease as if you weigh nothing at all. He walks over to the bed before slamming you back down onto the soft mattress. 

He gives you another cocky smile, proud of how deliciously fucked you look. You recognize this look and just as he's about to lean forward to make his way to you on the mattress, you place one foot onto his chest as the heel digs into his skin.

“Time out… you’re too much,” you sigh and he lets out a snort.

“Better get used to it,” he smiles as he brings his hands up to take off your stiletto, tossing it on the floor before bringing your other leg up to take off the other pair. 

He holds both your feet firmly, pushing them into your torso till you're practically folded in half as he brings one hand down to rub your swollen clit.

“No,” you turn to the side to get out of the position before sitting up straight, looking at his still erect cock in front of you. You lean closer to him as your hand wraps around the length, “Let me make you feel good.”

You roll the condom down before discarding it to the side, leaning forward to kiss his tip, swirling your tongue around the angry swollen head before licking a strip up his shaft. When you open your mouth wide, he grabs his length to tap it on your tongue a few times before you wrap your lips around the thick head. You make eye contact with him as you take in more of him, letting your mouth adjust to his size slowly. He mutters a quiet ‘fuck’ while grabbing the back of your head to push it closer. You gag before you can even take his entire length in your mouth, tears slipping out the corners of your eyes.

“Yes, right there… such a pretty mouth. Come on, I know you can take some– ugh— more,” he grunts and you relax your mouth to deep-throat him.

As Toji lets out breathy cusses, you move a hand down to massage his balls. Your other hand moves between your legs to part your folds and rub soft circles. This doesn’t go unnoticed by the man and you see a mischievous smile creep up on his face.

“Let go, babe,” he smiles while firmly pulling at your hair. You move your head back and you can already feel your throat aching as it readjusts to the emptiness. You’re still stimulating his tip with kitten licks, lapping at the precum, all the while touching yourself desperately.

Toji grabs both of your wrists as he pushes you back up on the bed, climbing up before lying on his back. As you await his instructions, you’re confused when he signals you to sit on his face. You hesitantly straddle his chest but it all makes sense when he tells you to turn around. You giggle as the heat rushes to your cheeks as you lie face-down on top of him to sixty-nine him.

“Now, stop being so greedy and focus on sucking my dick,” he speaks as he pulls at your asscheeks to part them, parting your folds with his tongue. Your toes curl in as you lean down to take him in your mouth once again.

As you bob your head up and down, sucking his entire length, his groans vibrate against your pussy as he eats you out just as fervently.

You steady your hands on his thighs as the muscles flex and relax every time his tip kisses the back of your throat. You close your eyes to focus on your movement as it gets harder and harder with Toji slurping at your pussy ruthlessly.

When you bring your hands over to play with his balls, it has him unravelling quickly. After edging himself unintentionally the whole night, he can’t help but feel like this is the tipping point.

“Do you– mmh– mind swallowing?” His voice is strained. You shake your head no, not parting from his cock even for a second. His nails dig into the flesh of your ass as thoughts of you flood his mind.

He can’t help but feel his pride swell that he's the one who gets to ravage his seemingly innocent co-worker like this. As if it weren’t already hard enough, imagining the things he’d do to you when he saw you at the office – now he had actual memories in flesh to make it harder.

Two months ago, he wouldn’t have imagined you'd be going dumb over his dick this way. Your interactions had always been respectful, despite him flirting with you occasionally. It was only about a month ago that you took him by surprise when you give a witty reply,  flirting back with him.

Toji knew a thing or two about breakups, so when he subtly inquired and eavesdropped in conversations around the office, he heard your loudmouth friend talk about how sad it was that your ex had the audacity to dump you when you clearly were out of his league.

Sad indeed, Toji thought, wanting nothing more than to finally get to fuck his pretty colleague. But when you both were assigned on a project together about three weeks ago, the flirting had gotten out of hand and your talks were no longer just a few words exchanged out of courtesy. Toji knew he wasn't made for relationships but a part of him wanted to make you his and greedily keep you to him.

As he enjoys the way you’re sucking his dick with your pretty pussy fluttering under his touch, his desire to have you has only grown stronger.

He leans his head back when he feels himself shoot his load into your mouth, his dick twitching as he feels you lick and struggle to swallow him.

“Fucking hell–” he sighs, kneading the flesh of your ass lazily. When he feels the weight of your body lift up, he grabs your waist to pull your ass back to hover it over his face.

“Where do you think you're going?” He huffs and before you can answer, he's eating you out at a faster pace than before. You already feel overstimulated as is but when Toji pushes two fingers inside, it turns you into a blabbering mess.

You arch your back as you lean forward with your fingers denting the skin over his abdomen. You grind your hips to feel his tongue on your cunt. Your head hangs limply when you cum once again on his tongue and Toji continues to slurp at your juices.

You body twitches violently and you beg him to slow down. He chuckles as he licks you clean before placing a quick kiss over your folds, relaxing his grip to let you get off.

You roll over to the side till you're lying on your back, your chest heaving as you take deep breaths. You look down when you feel a hand on your shin. He smiles lazily at you as he caresses your skin. You smile back before closing your eyes to relax, but open them back again when you feel the mattress dip as the figure beside you shifts.

You find Toji caging you with his arms on either side of your head as he leans down to kiss your lips. You close your eyes, humming into the kiss. He dips his head down to give you another mark on your neck, bringing one hand down to play with your nipples.

“Let me rest!” you push his chest but it doesn't faze him at all.

“Okay fine,” he laughs, “I'm only going easy on you cause it's our first time.”

“Easy? You really live up to your reputation,” you stare at him in disbelief. This makes him laugh and it’s the first time you hear his real laughter and not the smug, cocky chuckles of usual. You grin when you feel a warm fuzzy feeling in your heart, maybe Toji Fushiguro has more to him than he lets on.

He creates some space between you when he gets off and before you can ask him what he's doing, he lifts you up in his arms to carry you to the bathroom. 

When he sits you down on the sink counter to run the hot water tap to fill up the tub, you giggle.

“What?” He walks back to you.

“Nothing… just… Now, I get why women apparently call you unforgettable,” you mumble, trying hard not to blush.

“I don't do this for them,” he shrugs. You roll your eyes at him, not believing his words.

He chuckles, “I'm serious! I don’t fuck around… much. It's not a communal dick.”

“Oh really? What have I done to deserve such special treatment?” You tease.

“If I want to keep seeing you, I have to make you want to see me again too,” he smiles, leaning closer till he’s standing between your parted legs, brushing a finger over your lips.

“I think you guaranteed that right after you made me come the first time,” you laugh.

“That easy? Why's that?”

You shake your head no and he raises an eyebrow, urging you to speak.

“Well… if you must know, I rarely came with my ex. He said he got tired quickly so often I'd finish myself off in the shower later,” you confess, feeling a bit embarrassed at admitting this to him.

“Damn. What a fucking loser,” Toji chuckles dryly as he lazily rubs soft circles on your inner thighs, “Well, I'm glad he sucked. It really was time for an upgrade.”

You laugh as you play with the hair on his nape. You wonder out loud, “Have you ever thought about anyone else from the office?”

“Like who? You’re the only one there who I’d get blue balls for,” he laughs.

“Seriously? Not even Ema or Lisa? They’re pretty hot,” you push.

“Not my type.”

“Hmm”

“Why do you ask?”

“Nothing… just…”

“They’re painfully obvious about their crush if that’s what you’re asking,” he lets out another dry chuckle as he brushes your loose strands to the side, “Well they won't bother from tomorrow.”

“Why's that?” your eyebrows furrow.

“Unless you have a top that covers your entire neck, they’re going to figure shit out instantly,” he smirks as he traces the light red/purple bruises on your neck. You twist to the side to look at your reflection in the mirror.

Your eyes widen as you gasp, “Toji! How am I going to cover these?”

“Maybe don't... it doesn’t matter if they find out– maybe that way the gossip will reach your loser ex and he’ll know just how well I take care of you,” he teases, nuzzling his nose into your neck.

“God, you’re obsessed,” you giggle as you slap his chest lightly.

“Hmm, maybe. Told you I'm not one to share… especially not when your pussy tastes so good,” he kisses down your body till his face is in front of your core again. 

“I never said yes to our little arrangement… I can always back out,” you tease but your breath hitches when he presses his tongue to your core once again.

“Hmm, maybe I need to try my best to convince you then,” he nibbles and you instinctively tangle your fingers into his hair, closing your eyes as you enjoy the way Toji fucks you with his tongue once again.

“Toji… the bathtub,” you sigh when you hear the water overflow. Toji pulls away, holding his hand out and pulling you to the bathtub. Once in, he closes the tap and turns you around till your back is flush against his chest. He kisses your shoulder from behind when you're nestled against his broad torso.

As you straddle his lap, you feel his boner poke your skin.

“Leave some for tomorrow,” you let out an exhausted chuckle.

“Ignore it…,” he speaks softly and you lean back, dropping your weight onto his chest. You close your eyes as you feel him rub and massage your skin with a soothing pressure all over.

You don’t realise you begin drifting into light sleep but blink a few times when your head jerks up, feeling his body shift underneath you. You lean forward to allow him some space and he gets out of the tub. You eye the way the water drips down his body, trickling over his toned back muscles before he grabs the towel to pat himself dry. His damp hair falls over his temple and you smile to yourself – you could definitely get used to this.

He holds his hand out to you and you take it as you get out of the tub. You undo the towel around his waist to dry your own body, feeling your skin prick due to the cold air after having spent a good few minutes in the hot tub.

Just as you’re about to wrap the towel around your torso, Toji tugs it out of your hand to drop it to the floor and instead lifts you up again to carry you out into the bedroom.

“Toji, I’m cold,” you hug your arms around his neck.

“I know… don’t worry, I’ll keep you warm,” he says as he lays you down on the bed, readjusting his position till he’s on top.

“I really think we should get some sleep,” you giggle when he kisses you cheek.

“This is how we build up your endurance… with more practice,” he leaves open mouthed kisses down your throat.

You laugh as you yank his hair to pull his face away from your skin. “Let me sleep! Good night.”

“You can sleep… I don’t mind,” he mumbles as his tongue teases one of your nipples, biting the hardened bud lightly.

“Toji! Behave!” you scold him in a not-so-convincing tone.

“If I had behaved, we wouldn’t be here,” he rolls his eyes as he gets back up to give you a long, lazy smooch till you’re both out of breath. When your lips part, he rolls to the side, collapsing on the bed next to you. 

He covers the thick blanket over your bodies before pulling you to his chest and kissing your shoulder with a soft ‘good night’. The act is surprising as you hadn’t really taken him for the cuddling type. You feel his boner stick out against your back once again and you laugh.

“Shh, this is all very new. Give me some time,” he teases, snaking his arm around your waist. You wrap your hand over his, letting yourself melt into his arms when he rubs soft circles over your belly. You involuntarily rub your ass against his hard on and he presses your stomach to still your movement.

“Don’t do that if you want to sleep,” he warns and you giggle as you close your eyes, the tiredness of the whole day taking over your senses as you fall asleep in his arms.

~~~

You wake up when you hear your phone ring from a distant corner. You try to move Toji’s heavy arm to free yourself but he pulls you in even closer.

“My phone’s ringing,” you whisper as you turn your head to look at him. His eyes are still closed as he grumbles in a low voice, “Let it.”

You still manage to wiggle yourself out of his grasp and quietly walk towards where your phone was lying on the floor near the door. Toji stirs and sits up, his eyes following your naked form as you pick up the call.

“Did you die in there or something?”, you wince when you hear Ema’s voice on the other end.

“Open the door, we’ve been out here for, like, 5 minutes now,” Lisa’s voice is more distant.

When your brain registers what they’re talking about, you slap a hand over your mouth as you stare at Toji.

“Give me 5 minutes,” you mutter before hanging up, not giving them a chance to protest. Toji gets off the bed and walks towards you.

“Ema and Lisa… they’re outside my room… and I'm here,” you sigh as you pick up your garments off the floor.

“Told you there’s no point in hiding,” he says, tucking a loose strand behind your ear, “I’ll walk you to your room.”

You simply narrow your eyes at him with a ‘yeah, right’. He takes the dress from your hand.

“I’m not joking…” he holds the dress up in front of you and shrugs, “Besides, you’re gonna have to wear my clothes anyway.”

You see that the zip is broken with the fabric looking frayed where the zip ends – you had heard it right, he did rip your dress last night.

“I really liked that dress,” you pout but it’s far from a complaint. You know you cannot complain after a night like that.

“I liked it too… it gave me a really hard time the entire night,” he gives you a quick peck, far from apologetic, “I’ll get you one just like it.”

You simply blush at his words before pressing your hands on his chest, “Fineee, get me something to wear.”

He squeezes your ass once before walking away to his suitcase. You put on your thong and bra back on just as he returns with a t-shirt and sweatpants. You snatch them out of his hands and put them on quickly. 

He laughs at how baggy his sweats are, the compression t-shirt is still okay in comparison, “Guess it’s too big for you?”

You crinkle your nose, cringing at his joke as you secure the drawstring tightly to keep the pants from sliding down, “No, it’s not that big.”

“Is that so?”, he wraps his arms around your waist, caging you in, “Do I need to refresh your memory?”

“Toji! My friends are waiting!” you slap his chest and he laughs, leaning down to kiss you.

“Let them,” he moves his lips down to your jaw.

“No, let’s leave,” you wiggle your way out of his arms, shoving your phone in the pocket of his sweats before picking up your heels to carry them in one hand. He quickly puts on a different pair of sweatpants with an oversized t-shirt and sliders before grabbing his keycard. 

“Oh wait… I think my keycard is in your jacket from yesterday,” you turn around when you’re at the door to find him already rummaging through the pockets to retrieve it. You grin at him and he simply shrugs, “Told you, I’m a gentleman.”

You roll your eyes again as he opens the door and you quickly make your way to the elevator. Toji’s hand is resting on your lower back when the elevator dings and the doors open. 

You know there’s no point in hiding, yet you walk ahead of him as you notice your two friends standing outside your room. Before you have a chance to greet them, you hear Toji’s booming voice from behind, “Morning, ladies!”

You brace yourself for their reaction and it’s just as animated as you’d expected. They don't try to be subtle about it as they smirk at you while greeting the man in unison and you realise it's a lost cause trying to keep it a secret.

And it surely doesn’t help that Toji makes it a point to grab your jaw and kiss you goodbye in front of the two for no damn reason, as if it weren’t already obvious about what had transpired between you two. 

As he leaves, you smile at him, watching him walk away. The heat rushes to your cheek when you hear Ema fake a cough and you turn around to look at your friends. 

“Open the door ASAP! I wanna know everything,” Lisa squeals and you know your friends would not leave you alone until you went into heavy detail about the whole night.

~fin~

#erensbirdie #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jujutsukaisen x reader #jjk #toji x reader #toji fushiguro #toji smut #jjk toji #toji x you #fushiguro #jujutsu kaisen

[jarviscockerssecrethusband]

Depending on your point of view, coming across Billie Hargrove’s Instagram account was either the best or the worst thing to ever happen in Stevie’s life.

Stevie didn’t even know that butches could have long hair but this one did. Granted in a douchey eighties mullet type of way. She also had a very pronounced six pack which she was not attempting to hide in any of her photos. Crystal blue eyes. A winning smile. Shit.

Billy, they/she, basketball stan and cringe Judith Butler supporter- 60% girl, 40% something else-meanest lesbian ever

Over the course of about three weeks, Stevie had looked over that profile at least six times a day. They were mesmeric and Stevie found herself wanting to be consumed. She’d never felt this way about a boy before. Not even Tommy Hagan who she’d dated for over a year before they split. And Billy was in fucking L.A. Nothing was ever going to happen between them.

Still, she found herself sliding into their DMs just before going to get her hair done. Nothing too I’ll-stab-you-and-keep-your-body-in-the-basement but like casual. Maybe a little flirty. They didn’t seem like they had a girlfriend.

What she ended up messaging was “hi Billie! You don’t know me but I love your jeans where did you get them from ☺️”

Smooth Stevie. Very smooth.

She couldn’t even talk to her hairdresser during her hair appointment because she was so embarrassed by what she’d done. A small part of her genuinely considered setting her phone on fire until she checked it again after her highlights were in.

Incredibly surprisingly to Stevie, Billie responded and not even that, responded very positively indeed.

It was all Hey pretty girl and smirking emojis and I got my jeans from this underground thrift store or whatever and Stevie didn’t exactly take any of the information in because she was so incredibly flustered.

If she flattered herself, Stevie knew she was pretty. She knew she had big eyes and glossy hair and full lips which usually led to a line of guys queuing up for a shot. Billie wasn’t like any of those frat guys she was used to or the pretentious hipsters she’d dated later on in college. If there was chasing that was going to be done, Stevie was going to have to do it herself.

A gratifying squirm started in her gut the next day, when she realised that Billy had followed her back. Stevie may have been far too chickenshit to actually message her back but still. Progress was progress.

They danced around talking for a bit. Billie always liked her stories but there was never actually any flirting. Just a palpable tension. Something waiting to begin.

Stevie was not a patient woman. So she decided to push it forward a little.

Posting a thirst trap wasn’t something Stevie had done since she was bored during lockdown but how hard could it be? It had to be like riding a bike or some shit. So she just uploaded a couple of pictures, no overthinking it.

After deleting about thirty different messages from guys, all of whom were being creeps in different ways, Stevie finally got to the message she hoped she’d get from Billie. For all the anxiety leading up to it, the actual content was remarkably short.

Cute 💖😙

Robin picked up after the third ring. Judging by the time of her voice, Stevie had definitely woken her up from a nap. Whoops.

“What the fuck is it dingus?” Ouch.

Stevie tried to answer without sounding like an absolute moron.

“Robin how do you know if a lesbian is flirting with you?”

The long silence indicated to Stevie that she’d absolutely sounded like a moron.

“What did she say dingus?”

Stevie told her then she hung up. Which seemed harsh.

Billie messaged again the following day. Again it was brief.

Sorry if I misread. I’ll leave you alone now.

Stevie had never scrambled to reply to a message as fast in her life. Begging Billie not to leave, she wasn’t very good at this type of flirting but she wanted to try.

Billie seemed a lot less bummed after that. And much flirtier. They’d explained about their ocd, the constant fear of being creepy or a bad person stopping her from messaging Stevie more. But now that they were talking they could try. If Stevie wanted.

Stevie did want. She wanted very much.

And when finally visited Billy one person about five months later and they were doing dumb first date stuff, being in love, she thought that was a pretty good story to tell their grandkids about how they’d met.

Embarrassing. But good.

@shieldofiron @dragonflylady77 @oopsiedaisiesbaby @thatgirlwithasquid @robthegoodfellow

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #harringrove ficlet #sapphic harringrove

[saintmagx]

I Knew you were Trouble ❤️‍🔥

In which y/n joins the WWE as a female competitor and is thrown into the crazy world of the Usos. Friendship, love , betrayal and mutual pining awaits.

AN: Literally making this for myself, might publish more of it, might not - enjoy I guess? 😳😂

in this reality, Trinity is still with WWE

Pairing: Jimmy uso x reader, Jey uso x reader (platonic)

w/c: 766

⚠️ Warnings: 18+ , swearing, violence (this is the WWE after all) slight smut, infidelity, jealous Jimmy, bad writing, cringe story telling, the Usos (because they are a warning in themselves) ⚠️

I was in your sights, you got me alone, you found me❤️‍🔥

“And the challenger, being accompanied by the Usos, from y/h/t, y/r/n”

I was on top of the world. My life couldn’t be much better. I had my boys walking me down to the ring to face off against Charlotte for the Woman’s championship. I had been busting my ass for the past 8 months and finally earned my shot at the title. Nothing could ruin this moment for me - right?

“What the - ”

THUD

Then there was darkness.

Ok, so we may be getting a little bit ahead of ourselves, let’s take it back to 8 months ago, when it was your first day on Smackdown.

8 months ago

I was finally getting my opportunity after years of busting my ass in the independent circuit. I guess you could say I had made a name for myself and the WWE just had to have me.

Tonight I was making my debut on Smackdown, I was teaming up with Naomi to face off against Carmella and Mandy Rose. Carmella and Mandy where the current Woman’s tag team champions and Naomi had been teaming with Natalya - however she had been injured and I was asked to step in. This match could make or break me - I HAD to impress.

Standing backstage doing my pre-match stretched I’m broken from my trance

“Hey girl, I’m honestly so excited to be partnering with you tonight”

“Trinity hey, honestly same - though I’m a little disappointed we have to lose the match.”

“Yeah it bummed me out abit too at first, but all we have to do is put on one hell of a show”

“Good luck tonight baby” my eyes switch from Trinity to the handsome as hell man who approached her. His smile was infections, enough to make me weak at the knees. Wait…..baby?

“Y/n, this is my husband Jon, Jon this is y/n”

As if time stopped, his attention was on me, I could feel his eyes bore into me, slowly dragging up my body, my cheeks HAD to be red, oh god please don’t let anyone notice. Jon smirked at me - safe to say he noticed.

“Pleasure to meet you y/n”

Before I could reply, another equally as handsome man joined his side.

“Josh, this is y/n, y/n this is Josh, Jon's brother” Trinity said as she was stretching out for our match.

“I’m the handsome brother” Josh says, with a wink

“You do remember we are twins right?” Jon retorts

“Obviously uce, but I’m still the better looking brother”

Josh stood there with a shit eating grin plastered on his face. He had ruffled his brothers feathers once more and he was proud of himself.

These boy are going to be trouble.

• ❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃•❃°•°❀°•°❃•

Our match was set up for us to lose, but we put on one hell of a show - main event material. Back at the gorilla Hunter were there to chat with me after my debut.

“Think of the bigger picture y/n” Hunter says

“You can’t always win. Remember when you go through that curtain you are telling a story, selling it with you matches and promos. Anyway, this sets it up perfectly for you guys to go for the titles”

“What?” I look up at him in disbelief

“The titles?”

“Y/n your hard work and determination shows off. The tag titles is a fantastic opportunity to kick start your time here.”

Not really sure what came over me but next thing I knew I had my arms wrapped around hunter squeezing him tight.

“You have no idea how much this means to me, thank you, thank you, thank you - I won’t let you down”

“You deserve it kid, now go show everyone what you are made of”

Leaving the gorilla my eyes glance to Trinity and the boys walking towards catering.

“TRIN DID YOU HEAR” I scream, jumping her from behind.

“HUNTER IS GIVING US THE TAG TITLES”

“What?”

A twinge of jealousy spreads across me as I watch Jon dip his head down and place a kiss on Trinity's forehead - wait, I shouldn’t even be feeling like this - I give myself a shake and turn my attention to Josh.

“We have to celebrate”

“Josh, we haven’t actually won the titles yet, let’s save the celebrations till then huh?” I laugh

“Wait that’s a great idea, let’s do drinks, come on y/n let’s go get ready” Trin says as she drags me off.

Guess we are celebrating tonight.

If I’d have know how the night would turn out, I’d have headed straight back to the hotel.

#jimmy uso x reader #jimmy uso fanfiction #jimmy uso smut #wwe fanfiction #wwe #wwe x reader

[mintymelty]

YHS: A Serialization [] 1. A Funny First Day

════ ⋆💙⋆ ════

Hi.

Today’s September 1st. A Tuesday, and the first actual day of school.

You may be asking why I look so emo.

To make a long story short, I slayed too hard at my first highschool, was bummed out too much at the second, and now I’m currently attending Yamada High on what accounts to academic probation. I even have my own cop in my dorm! Well she says her name is ‘Kim’ and that she’s my cousin but she’s basically a probation cop. And a snooty one at that.

💛: “Oh, you have to go to the REGULAR literature class? Well, good luck with the PLEBEIANS, I’ll be on my way to ADVANCED PLACEMENT-“ Go away, I don’t like you.

But whatever, there’s this “cool” guy chatting up a storm with some other student, and said student looks bored AF. For the last few minutes he’s been making the rounds across Mr. Draco’s classroom (which I have no idea how; with the way he acts, I thought Mr. Draco hated any form of conversation) to try and… IDK sell them a used car?

◁◁ ▐ ▌ ▷▷

🌻: “So, you new here?” ‘Cool Guy’ whipped his head around to face me.

💙: “Yeah.” Duh?? Not to be rude, but no-one’s ever seen me here.

🌻: “Cool! Cool.. I like your jacket, you do sports?”

💙: “No, not yet. Never really had the chance to get into extra-curricular stuff.”

🌻: “Oh, really?”

💙: “Yeah… I mean I guess I have plenty of free time right now, huh?”

🌻: “If that’s the case, are you free this Friday?”

💙: “WOW, I don’t even know your name-“

🌻: “Wha?- I mean I’m in a band and we’re having a garage concert this Friday. My bad.”

💙: “Oh! What music are you playing?”

🌻“How do you feel about… indie rock? You seem like the kind of girl to be into that.”

💙: “I do? What about me gives of that vibe?”

🌻“I dunno, just your outfit? Like you’re kinda just all around chill.”

💙: “Okay then, what bands are you covering, or will the music be, y’know original?”

🌻“They’re kinda obscure.. have you heard of Nirvana?”

💙: “…Yeah.” BOI. MY DUDE. WHO HASN’T HEARD OF NIRVANA?“Well then sure, I don’t have anything else to do. Where’s the spot?”

🌻“Hm… 2033 Miller Avenue, City of Industry… I dunno somewhere in Traum County.”

💙: “Traum County..” I’ve heard of that place before.. oh yeah! I have- well, HAD an uncle there. I think he got shot.. “Ok, I’ll go. What time?”

🌻“About 7 P.M.”

💙: “So the Redstone link should get me there 30 minutes early-“

🌻”Redstone link?? Uhh if I were you I’d just ask someone for a ride.”

💙: “Wait- why?”

🌻“Traum’s metro’s are kinda shady.. but it’s like not that big of a deal, just don’t go near the Sky station.”

💙: “..Okay. I’ll see you there.”

◁◁ ► ▷▷

Huh. That was actually kinda nice, even though I didn’t get his name.. oh well. It’s too awkward to just ask him right now, considering the teacher finally got up from his desk.

✒️: “Now class, I HOPE you all have your outlines for your introductory essay done??”

Uh. About that…

👥: “Yes, Mr. Draco.”

✒️: “Good. Class dismissed. Go to period 2.”

Okay, so I’m alone on this. At my last school, practically nobody would’ve answered him like that, and some “class-clown” would instead cuss him out. But whatever, it’s a good thing people are nice here.

…Right?

════ ⋆💙⋆ ════

#digital art #itsfunneh yandere high school #itsfunneh yhs #itsfunneh fanart #yhs funneh #yhs evan #i’m sorry if the formatting or emojis are cringe pls let me know if anything is off #itsfunneh yhs: a serialization #yhs

[buckysdolls]

She’s a Freak Part 3 *Eddie Munson*

Warnings: mentions of swearing, mature content, drugs, violence etc...

A/N: Thank you for all the hearts on my work, Eddie is like my perfect man so to write for him is lovely! Joe Quinn too is a little sweetie <3

Part 3

After dropping Dustin off home you decided to take a walk over to the Family Video store, you knew Robin was working a late shift. Though a year older, Robin was a good friend, she'd been your friend for as long as you could remember and she was someone you could rely on if you were ever in trouble. The doorbell rang as you entered the store. Robin was hunched over the counter, her head in her hands looking miserable and bored. Steve was behind her, pressing buttons, presumably rewinding tapes. Robin leaped up when you jumped on the counter in front of her and huffed.

“Big sigh. What's wrong?” She stood behind you and slung her arms over your shoulders to embrace you, her head resting in your neck.

“I think Seth and I broke up”

“Good riddance” Robin was brutally honest.

“Robin!” you lightly tapped her hands that were loosely clasped around your neck.

“What? He’s a turd” Robin roared and pulled away to stand in front of you.

“I came here for sympathy not to feel stupid”

“Okay as your best friend, he was a bum. But also as your best friend, I’m sorry that happened. Are you okay?”

“Get out whilst you can” Steve muttered in the background. 

“What do you mean?” Your attention drifted to Steve. Steve had become part of the package deal of being friends with Robin, it helped that he was friendly too.

“Being popular isn’t everything. Look at me, once king of Hawkins… now friends with the nerds of Hawkins”

“Shhhh” Robin hushed, shooting him an evil glare.

“It’s not about being popular, that doesn't bother me. I just don’t want the drama”

“Comes with the territory of being popular I’m afraid” Steve replied shrugging his shoulders.

“Well… I don’t want it” You whined like a child who was throwing a hissy fit. 

As time passed you stayed till close, helping Robin and Steve finish up their load of work and close shop. Robin and Steve did their utmost to help you forget about your encounter with Seth and it worked for a while. You were back to laughing and smiling like usual. Until you were left alone again. You laid in your bed and aggressively turned over, it was hard for you to try and sleep that night. Leaning over and pulling on the string that switched on your side lamp you grabbed your watch to check the time… 10pm. You dramatically groaned and fell back into the bed spreading out like a starfish. For some reason Eddie popped into your head, you had replayed your argument with Seth in your head over and over again and you remembered more each time. You remembered how Eddie had clasped your hand amongst the chaos and you recalled in that split second feeling safe and calm beside him, like you had done the previous day in his van. Eddie’s jacket was clung to your desk chair and caught your eye. The sudden thoughts of Eddie made your heart feel like it was beating rapidly and fluttering like butterflies. You felt all the egg shells that you were used to walking on had disappeared around Eddie. It felt like you were walking in the clouds, those fluffy marshmallow-like clouds that could melt in between your toes. You could laugh. You could finally breathe fresh air and in a moment of madness you shot out of bed hurried to your drawer, shoving on a pair of bright patterned sweatpants, a white crop top and threw on Eddie’s jacket. You figured you could use returning his jacket as an excuse to see him. You creeped downstairs to avoid disturbing your mum or Dustin, took your keys off the hook and headed to your car. 

Pulling up to Eddie’s trailer, you were careful to drive slowly to avoid the potholes and bumps in the road. You stepped out of your car and coyly walked up to the trailer door, your hand in a fist ready to knock until the sound of a truck screeching and headlights illuminating you, causing you to squint your eyes and shield them with your hand. You watched as Eddie hopped out of his truck and the usually cheerful cheerleader Chrissy who was looking apprehensive appeared next to him. Your breath hitched as you felt like your thumping heart had risen into your throat, you didn’t know Eddie was seeing someone, let alone Chirssy who was known to be in a committed relationship with Jason. It was at this moment you were aware of your own feelings for Eddie, this whole time you were with Seth it should have been Eddie, the true person who made you smile, the person who you looked forward to seeing in the corridors just so you could make him smile by waving at him. The jealousy of seeing Chrissy next to him bruised you .You looked down at your feet to hide your embarrassment of standing at Eddie’s door. Eddie looked towards his trailer, his grin towards Chrissy dying as he saw you standing alone and humiliated, totally unaware of what you could only describe as the epiphany you’d just had.. 

“Sorry I wouldn’t have come if I knew about this” You hurtled down his steps gesturing to him and Chrissy. 

“Hey wait!” Eddie grabbed your arm as you rushed passed.You let him hold you back looking at his grip then up at him, he brought you into him both hands now resting on your arms, he was concerned for you and needed to make sure you were okay. 

“One second” Eddie turned to Chirssy gesturing with his finger. Eddie’s focus was back on you as his touch roamed up to your cheeks cupping them, looking at you as if he was checking you over. The whole encounter had you shaking, like explosive fireworks were being set off, it made you feel hot. He tenderly moved a curl that was draped over your face, he took that moment to take in how stunning you were, the freckles that were planted across your nose he wanted to individually count if that meant he could stare at you forever. 

“I just wanted to give this back” You began to take off his jacket as you stepped away from him, his arms dropping to his sides.

“If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have come over unannounced.” You placed the jacket into Eddie’s chest letting him clutch it before turning away and heading to your car.

“Y/N”

You turned back to face them, a fake smile which you had given often enough to make it genuine curved your lips. Your bruised heart felt like it was being pressed on knowing Eddie was finding intimacy and company elsewhere. Your heart didn’t hurt when you fought with Seth but it hurt like hell right now and you couldn’t hate him or berate him, you were only just friends after all. 

“Don’t worry I won't mention anything about this” You said sincerely. Eddie watched as you drove away from him. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” Eddie silently cursed, whipping his jacket to the floor causing dirt particles to flounce upwards from the ground.

“I can come back another time” Chrissy said sweetly feeling bad the Y/N had thought her and Eddie were engaging in some sort of romantic exchange. Eddie shook his head and invited Chirssy into his home to give her the drugs she wanted.

#eddie munson #eddie munson stranger things #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie musnon x you #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson x henderson!reader #eddie munson fluff #eddiemunsonfanction #eddiemunson #eddiemunsonfanfic #joe quinn #joseph quinn #eddie munson joseph quinn #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things x you #stranger thinds eddie munson

[dozenssporks]

*the video opens with a distant shot of Vash laying in the shade of a sand dune making a ‘snow’ angel*

Wolfwood, speaking from behind the camera: there he is, ladies and gents, the most feared outlaw in the tri-state area

Vash: only that infamous? my ratings have dropped.

Wolfwood slowly zooms in until it’s a close up of Vash’s face as he stares at the sky: you’ve been laying there for, like, an hour. Don’tcha have anything to do, you lazy bum?

Vash: I am contemplating. The life. The Universe. The everything. That cloud looks like a jelly doughnut. Now shush.

the shot slowly zooms out again and wolfwood whispers: I am bored out of my mind so I am going to do something drastic. Ready? Okay. *raising his voice* Hey, needle-noggin! What’s your opinion of America’s public transport system?

Vash, sitting bolt upright in a shower of sand: it’s The Worst! It’s patchy, incomplete, inconsistent! There are hundreds and hundreds of desolate miles where the only option is a car because nobody bothered to put a train there. Do you know what that means when you can’t drive? It means you walk! My boots have racked up more miles than a soccer mom’s SUV--

Wolfwood, whispering again: and off he goes . . .

^Vash gets up and begins to march around, waving his arms dramatically to emphasize his points or express his frustration. The camera calmly follows him back and forth. There are several cuts so Vash’s ranting jumps from point to point and country to country, a timer in the corner of the screen records how long he’s been talking, more than twenty minutes. The smooth dune becomes a a churning sea of footprints*

Vash, pointing sharply: --and that’s why England’s railway--!

Wolfwood, suppressing giggles: what about, dunno, Italy?

Vash: Italy, well, I got pick-pocketed on public transport there actually

Wolfwood: for real? someone picked the humanoid typhoon’s pocket?

Vash: yeah--oh! That reminds me, hang on!

*Vash dives forward, sliding to a stop at his destination on his knees. He pulls open his bag and rifles through the contents. Odds and ends spill out and a couple odd shirt-sleeves are trailing in the sand before he pulls out a wallet*

Vash: so um *pulls an id card out of the wallet and glances at it* Drusilla Zuccaro if you are watching this I’m sorry I took your wallet and forgot to give it back and forgot I still had it until just now. It was going to be a great bit where you thought you’d got my wallet but I’d got yours and I’d give it back and we’d laugh and you’d turn over a new leaf and never pick-pocket again. I, uh, kinda had to hoof it due to various misunderstandings and it slipped my mind. I’d offer to send it back to you but it’s been, uuhhh, five months? You’ve probably got a new id and stuff by now . . .

Wolfwood, voice shaking with suppressed laughter: there wasn’t any cash?

Vash, looking sideways: . . . it was only maybe fourteen euros and a guy on the run has gotta eat, you know

Wolfwood: vash the stampede committing petty theft? you disgust me

Vash, on his knees, hands pressed together: Scusami tanto, ti chiedo scusa dal profondo del cuore. Sono mortificato, chiedo scusa.

Wolfwood: yeah, yeah, so what are you gonna do about it?

Vash, sadly and a little sulky: Ti rimborserei ma non ho soldi

Wolfwood: Imma take a wild guess and say you’re saying you’re broke

Vash, muttering and drawing circles in the sand:  sì

Wolfwood: you’re a total deadbeat you know that, spiky?

Vash, throwing himself down into the sand, tears streaming down his face: leave me and my deadbeat feelings to die

Wolfwood: want some absolution?

Vash: keep your stupid little confession box away from me! Didn’t you hear me? I have no money! I’m already in debt!

*Vash continues to weep noisily as the camera pans over the dunes and setting sun*

Wolfwood: that was fun. next time I’m gonna ask him about, um, types of socks maybe. This is where I’d ask you to like and subscribe but y’all know we don’t work like that. Otherwise we’d be scamming you for donations and ol’ needle-noggin here would have money for bus fare. Buh-bye.

*video ends*

#trigun #trigun on the run au #trigun modern au #a dozen sporks speaks #ww: how can you tell the cloud is specifically a jjelly doughnut #vash: well it doesn't look like a custard filled one. Obviously. #this nonsense makes me smirk to myself at work and that's all that matters #trigun snippets

[bisexual-thoughtss]

Heyyyyyyyy! Can I request howince and reader up to some shenanigans in the call of the yeti episode (any part of it I just love it as an episode) and Vince and the reader have some kind of *non Platonic* connection. Thank youuuuu

I tried my best to sort of write the reader into the episode, I hope you like it!!

Vince Noir x Reader

“A roaring fire, a cup of tea, what more do you need, eh?” Howard asks as you stare down at your cup of tea that you could’ve been drinking at Euro Disney instead of this funky little cabin. Vince and Howard argue back and forth as you sip from your mug, hiding your laugh behind it at Vince’s comments.

“You’ve gone wrong,” you groan as Howard passes out his itineraries for his lecture.

As soon as the papers hit the table Naboo and Bollo bog off to the shaman shop, leaving you and Vince to endure Howard’s lecture by yourselves. You gape as Howard gives you a notepad to “take notes” and Vince slumps into his chair in defeat. You both know how happy it’ll make Howard, despite how bored you’ll be. You scoot your uncomfortable little chair as close as you can to lean against Vince, his arm resting around your shoulders and tucking you into his side. You take turns doodling and writing notes and giggling to each other, exchanging kisses whenever you think Howard isn’t looking. Several times Howard tells you off for “disrupting his lecture” as he puts it. Feels just like being in school again until an ominous clap of thunder booms and a huge mountain man is barging into the cabin.

Vince jumps behind Howard and you follow suit, slotting yourself behind the both of them. Once Howard realizes it’s the man he rented the cabin from, he proceeds to immediately put his foot in it, as per usual. They start arguing about who knows more about the wilderness and who has better scars, which has you rolling your eyes behind Vince until he ends the argument with his own scar. Jack, he said his name was, apologizes and you watch on in horror as he licks Vince’s hand before finally leaving. Just as you start to sigh in relief, Jack crashes back into the door to ask Howard outside.

Once they’re finally gone, Vince starts to unpack, setting his straightener on the counter to heat up.

“Oh god, wash your hands,” you shudder, unable to forget Kodiak Jack. Vince cringes as he dives for the sink, quick to listen to you.

“Reminded me though, we need to put your medicine on that,” you tell him, gesturing to his middle.

“S’alright,” he tells you, but you’re shaking your head immediately.

“You don’t wanna get infected do you? You’ll go all septic and die on me, and I’ll be left with these idiots. You can’t leave me alone to deal with them,” you whine and Vince laughs, shuffling through his things to find the ointment from the doctor. He lets you pull him onto the bed, laying still for you as you push his shirt up and out of the way. Gently, you smooth the medicine over his newly forming scar and he shivers at the soft contact and cold medicine. You press a soft kiss right under his belly button, giggling when he gasps. His eyes had been closed, but they’d shot open at the contact from your lips. You rest your cheek against his warm skin, careful to avoid the medicine as you gaze up at him.

“What?” You ask as he glares playfully.

“You’re a cheeky little tart,” he laughs, pulling you up to kiss you. The kiss gets a little heated before you pull away from him.

“They’re right outside!” You scold playfully. “Sorry, got carried away,” He doesn’t look the littlest bit sorry as he smirks, giving your bum a squeeze.

“Now you really need to fix your hair,” you laugh, the strands extra mussed from your fingers running through it. He gasps dramatically to make you giggle before getting up to look at it in the mirror.

“Aw what’ve you done?” He laughs at the birds nest, picking up a comb and his precious Nicky Clarke. You watch him fiddle with his hair, enjoying getting to see it return to perfect in real time. Eventually you get bored of just looking and hop off the bed to go touch.

“Think we’ll get any real alone time this weekend?” You hum, slipping your arms around his waist to look at him through the mirror’s reflection. He sets the straightener down, tangling his fingers with yours.

“With how Howard’s acting, I dunno if-” he starts, getting cut off by the door slamming open. You both startle at the loud noise, your hearts racing as you jump around to face the door. Vince nudges you back behind him when he realizes it’s Kodiak Jack again. Vince is asking him questions that you can’t hear over the adrenaline pumping the blood in your ears. You’re trying to think of some way out of this when Jack mentions owl beaks and you blanch. Vince has been slowly pressing both of you away from Jack and towards the wall until your back hits the little sink in the corner. You know what owl beaks mean and his next words make you feel sick.

“Pretty little things like you and a big old mountain man like me..” he leers. As you jostle for room to stand in the corner, your elbow hits Vince’s straightener and you flinch away from the heat.

“You’re weird, get off!” Vince shouts and you’re pressing the handle of the straightener into his hand without thinking. Vince glances down at it before raising it suddenly, his other hand holding you firmly behind him. The next few moments are a blur and you can’t see anything behind Vince’s hair. Jack is screaming and you hear sizzling before you hear Naboo and Bollo burst into the cabin.

“There you go, Nicky Clarke, hottest you can get!” Vince yells after the mountain man as he runs out and you feel all the fight leave you as you slump into Vince.

“What’s going on?” Naboo asks apprehensively.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on! I’ve just narrowly avoided a bumming from Grizzly Adams!” Vince shouts, still seething.

“Where’s Howard?” Naboo asks and Vince rolls his eyes.

“Went for a walk or something out on Piney Ridge,” he tells them, and they stare in horror.

“What? Have I got shit on my face?” Vince asks.

“We’re gonna have to go rescue Howard,” you groan into his back.

#vince noir x reader #vince noir #the mighty boosh #mighty boosh #call of the yeti

[beantothemax]

“This place reminds me of back home in Cropdale. It’s so quaint!” 

Temenos squinted, feeling rather assaulted by the sands. According to the map, the trio was now in a town called Ryu, a few miles due south of Crackridge’s anchorage, and directly west of Canalbrine. Temenos knew he was growing jumpy and jittery the longer they remained away from the port town, but he truly could not help it. His nerves had been shot ever since Agnea’s debut at the Festival of Grace. 

There was shouting from near a merchant’s stall, and the trio looked over to find a man donned in scarlet clothing holding back a trio of ruffians with a sharp-looking blade. 

“Step aside, you rugrat,” one of the brigands snarled, drawing a curved blade from a sheath at his waist. 

“This isn’t your fight. Get outta the way so we can punish this fella proper,” said another, pulling an axe from a loop on his back. 

The third remained silent, yet drew a sword from a holster on his belt. 

Temenos felt sick at the sight, scowling. “Oh, dear... Do you suppose we ought to help?” He asked the others, who both nodded immediately. 

“I can’t stand folks who throw their weight around like that!” Agnea said, and no doubt she was thinking of La’Mani, the theatre manager from New Delsta. He had since changed after being thoroughly walloped by Agnea and her heels, but the memory of his trashing of Montraine’s Tavern never truly dissolved. 

Partitio cracked his knuckles. “You already know how I feel about lousy bums like that,” he said, adjusting the bracers on his arms. 

“Then let us grant that poor fellow aid. Come,” Temenos said, and they all rushed to the man’s sides. 

“...Thank you, kind strangers,” he murmured, adjusting his grip on his blade. 

“Let’s show these lousy bandits what for!” Partitio whooped, and Agnea drew her dagger, adjusting her stance. Temenos had grown to recognise that, understand it as her readying herself to land a solid kick to a brigand’s stomach. 

The ensuing fight was pathetically easy, Temenos found, and the man they fought alongside sighed in relief as he helped the poor villagers behind him to their feet. 

“I thank you again for your help. My name is Hikari. I’m about to embark on a journey. It seems you three are also on travels?” 

Agnea nodded, but she seemed a touch wary. “We are, though...” 

“It’s rather dangerous, our journey. We hail from the eastern continent. We’re on our way to invesigate a murder from our hometown.” 

Hikari raised his eyebrows, sheathing his blade. “Well, my journey is to reunite old allies of mine so I may recover the crown of Ku, so... Surely, not much more dangerous than investigating a murder case.” 

“Well, I suppose I ought to give credit where credit is due. Your journey seems far more perilous than ours- however we would be honoured to take you along with us, if you won’t be bored out of your skin,” Temenos said, and Hikari smiled softly. 

“I am the one who is honoured. You all seem to be reliable allies- I look forward to travelling together.” 

“Welcome to the team, Hikari! We’ll do great together, I’m sure of it!” Agnea said cheerfully, and Hikari gave a moment of pause before nodding. 

“Indeed. As I said, I look forward to it.” 

Partitio glanced out at the road above Ryu, and winced. “Folks? I don’t think we’ll be hittin’ that dusty trail for a while. Looks like a storm’s a-brewin’.” 

Hikari followed his gaze, and cursed quietly. “Indeed. It’s a sandstorm. They can last for several days, even a full week. Come, let us rest at the inn. Come nightfall, we may gather at the fire.” 

“Fire?” Partitio tilted his head. 

“Yes. Every night, the townsfolk light a fire to keep warm during cold desert nights. It’s almost like a festival celebration,” Hikari said as the group filed into the quaint little inn. 

Somehow, they found a room with 4 beds. Two on each side of the room, with a single nighttable between them. A desk with an oil lamp sat in one corner, which Temenos immediately made use of, placing his tomes and notes down and sitting in the oaken chair. 

Hikari removed his sword belt and shoes, placing his belt on his bed (he claimed the one closest to the door), his shoes at the foot. The others did similarly, taking their shoes and acessories off. 

Temenos hurriedly scrawled a letter, addressed to Mindt back in Flamechurch. 

Dearest Mindt, 

How have you been? Almost three moons have passed since my journey of healing has began, yet I find myself no closer to recovery than I was when I started. My shattered heart has not yet mended, though I have met companions to light my dreary days on the road. I journey now to Borderfall, with prayers on my tongue that the guild there may have the answers I seek. In the meanwhile, I have been dubbed a thief by those now accompanying me on my journey. So quick to accuse... (and before you ask, no. It was not a fruit pastry. Yes, I did steal it.) 

He was about to sign his letter when he heard a familiar song once again drifting in the air. 

“I must be on my way, but goodbye I shall not say...” 

Agnea spun around, dancing now more energetically than she had all those weeks ago in Merry Hills. How long had it been, Temenos wondered, since Agnea had earned her reputation as a superstar, famous among the ranks of Dolcinaea and Roque Brilliante? 

“For you and I will meet again someday. No matter how far away, my song will always be with you... So think of me whenever you feel blue...” 

It occured to Temenos then that he had heard this song performed many a year ago, by a woman who looked strikingly like Agnea. Even the dresses were the same, as far as his memory would allow. 

He recalled sitting in the smaller church in the village, watching the dancer spin about and sing. He recalled how certain he had been that this woman had been graced by Sealticge herself, and that night he begged Roi to sing it to him before bed. 

“I await the day we are reunited in glee.... Let’s sing together now, you and me...”  

Agnea, once again, fell silent after the humming, though she didn’t look as tired as she had before in Merry Hills. 

“That was my Mama’s song. She’d sing it all the time when she danced... It was the last song she sang to my sister and me before she died. It’s very dear to me.” 

Hikari nodded. “It’s a lovely song. A friend from Ku taught me an old folk song, once upon a moon.” 

He closed his eyes, and began to sing. His voice was quiet and soft, hardly more than a whisper. 

“As night heralds the end of day... The mirror beckons for your gaze.” 

Agnea slowly began to dance to the song, spinning and humming a tune to match. 

“A path revealed by a heart true, to world’s end it beckons you...” 

Temenos felt an odd pang in his gut, the same feeling that ailed him whenever something was amiss. However, he quickly dismissed it as Partitio gave a small chuckle. 

“...Reminds me of the ol’ stories my Ma used to tell me when I was a lil’ chickadee. She’d tell me all about the eight gods n’ their fight with Vide. She taught me the value of a sacrifice for the greater good.” 

Temenos sighed, thoroughly exhausted. 

“Goodness... I fear these lullabies have made me quite tired. I am going to retire for the evening. Enjoy the fire outside, if you so decide to go. Goodnight, you three.” 

He received a trio of goodnights, and drifted off to sleep. 

That night, he dreamt of fighting a dark, shapeless god, seven other people around him. He was stronger, somehow, yet his heart ached with grief he had not yet recovered from. Grief over whom was the question. Roi, perhaps? Or the pontiff? Nay, oddly neither of those answers seemed to fit. 

Suddenly, there was a dreadful cold feeling washing over him, and he was being consumed by the dark god’s gaping maw. 

He awoke to the sounds of festivities outside a blackened room. 

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hibkari…. hiki… kari…….. my beloved,,, he is here….!!!!!!!!

what if they made three goofballs who were so good at bludgeoning and stabbing. what then

ALSO?????? TEMY SEEING CUANI WHEN HE AND ROI WERE IN THE CHURCH??? WAUGH??

mindt mention. exploding her with my mind. temy should be executed for his crimes I think

also has temy experienced the Stormhail Horrors yet? dream sequence at the end is making me think he hasn’t.

terrors aside it’s the gang!!!!!!!!!!!!! here!!!!!!!!! the path!!!!

#love these sillies… #asks #adventures-of-turnabout #inbox fic

[theoddcatlady]

Blind Date

Fuck blind dates. Last night was the actual worst.

Let’s back up. The main reason I agreed to this was because I owed my sister a favor. Two days ago she cornered me in my bedroom and told me about her friend Martha. She is a year younger than me, was feeling super bummed because her last boyfriend just flat out ghosted her, and she is super nice.  

It was either I go on this date with a girl I didn’t know or pay my sister two hundred bucks. Out of the two, I’m picking the date.  

Martha and I chose to meet at a local pub. The moment I got there and saw here I knew this was going to freaking suck.

I’m a little superficial, but we all are when we date. We all have types. Martha… was really not my type. Calf length khaki skirt, itchy olive green sweater, cat eye glasses, hair done in two braids, she looked like a librarian. A very boring librarian. My type is a bit more flashy, a bit more fun.

I of course still sat across from her, introduced myself. Maybe the boring librarian aesthetic hid someone who secretly went caving on the weekends and loved sky diving.  

Hahaha. No.  

This book you absolutely could judge by its cover, and this book was a fucking Webster’s Dictionary. Every sentence that came out of Martha’s mouth was in a monotone, and she had practically no life. She went to school, she came home, she studied, she played with her cats (she has four- Aileen, Jane, Amelia, and Nannie), and she read nonfiction novels. She didn’t even have a TV. You’d expect a geeky looking girl like this to at least marathon The Witcher or The Mandalorian over a few weekends.

I was starting to sympathize with the ghosting boyfriend when I decided to give myself a break by offering to go up to the bar and get us something to drink. She asked for a soda. I was going to get something a little harder for myself.

As I stood at the bar, I heard someone clear her throat next to me.

“Rough date?”  

I glanced up and saw another woman, dark haired with the most dazzling amber eyes I’d seen on a human being, the color of a glass of whiskey. She laughed and offered me her hand. “I’ve seen that face a lot. Made it too. I’m Tanya.”

“David.” I shook her hand. “It’s a blind date.”  

Tanya grimaced and nodded. “Oooh. Say no more, I feel your pain,” She said, giving me a pat on the shoulder.  

“It’s not that she isn’t nice, she’s just not my type.” I took a deep breath. “I’m probably going to split as soon as dinner’s done, tell her it’s not working out.”

Tanya laughed. “That’s fair, but my advice? Better make clear pretty quick this will not lead to something more. Don’t wanna hurt her feelings, you know?” She said.

I nodded before scooping up our drinks. “If you’re still here after she leaves, buy you a drink?” I offered.  

Tanya winked. “We’ll see,” She sing songed.

I weaved my way back to the table. I just barely sat down when Martha blurted out, “You like her, don’t you?” It was the first time all night she actually had emotion in her voice, and it was not good.

Shit. I glanced over at Tanya, who was chatting with a few of her girl friends now. “We just chatted for a second,” I said.

Martha took a deep breath, taking off her glasses to clean them off on her sweater. “That’s not a no,” She mumbled.

Now I was feeling like an asshole. And yeah, I probably deserved to. I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and decided to just be honest. “Listen, you’re great-”

“But I’m not your type,” Martha interrupted, a bitter sounding laugh leaving her a second after. “I know. I fucking know, David. I’m going to the bathroom. Leave me alone.”  

She shot up and stormed to the bathroom, a tear trickling down the side of her face. I shrunk down in my chair, definitely feeling like an asshole. Here was this perfectly nice girl, maybe a bit socially awkward, but nice. And here I was, hitting on other girls while I was on a date with her. Wow. Crown me king of the assholes, because that was a low move.  

I spent the next several minutes planning my apology, imagining poor Martha sobbing her eyes out in the bathroom. I did her wrong and I had to make it right.

About fifteen minutes passed before I decided to go after her. I was getting worried, maybe she was really upset and needed to be driven home.  

Just a bit of context, the doors to the bathroom at this pub were known for being a little loosey-goosey on their hinges. Meaning I just reached up to knock and I accidentally pushed the door open.  

It was like time stopped when I looked inside.  

Martha was standing at the sinks. She wasn’t crying anymore, she looked… calm. Disturbingly calm, for someone whose hand had apparently melted over another woman’s face. This other woman had dropped to her knees in front of Martha, her whole body limp and only held up by the melted skin grip that Martha had on her. The woman’s skin was turning black down to her neck and I swear I saw it inch down in that second the door was open.

It took until the door closed until I realized I recognized that woman’s dress. Tanya. That was Tanya.

I did something potentially dumb, in that I just headed back to my table and sat down, texting my sister to pick me up, because I assumed I’d been drugged. There was no way I saw what I just did, right? That’s not even possible.

Another minute ticked by as I stared at my phone, waiting for my sister to fucking answer me, which ended me nearly jumping out of my skin when Martha plopped down in the chair across from me.  

“Hi, sorry I took so long,” Martha smiled, “I think we need to start from scratch.”

I glanced over at the bathroom. “Something happen in there?” I asked.

“Maybe,” Martha laughed, the first time I’d heard her laugh all night and it gave me fucking chills. The only thing I could pick out as different so far was that she’d taken her hair out of her braids, the wavy length coming down past her shoulders.  

I swallowed before glancing out the door. “Listen, I’m actually not feeling well- and no, I’m not trying to ditch you, I swear to god- I think someone slipped something in my drink or I’m getting sick, so I’m trying to get ahold my sister to take me home,” I said.

“Oh, you poor thing!” Martha reached across the table and rested her cool fingers on my forehead. “I think you are feeling a bit warm. Tell your sister not to bother, I’ll just drive you.”  

What was I supposed to say? ‘No thanks, I’ll just wait for someone who doesn’t have melty hands?’ Yeah, I had to let her drive me home. I’d make plans to pick up my car in the morning, when I didn’t feel like I’d been slipped LSD. 

Martha handed me a sealed water bottle once I was settled in the passenger seat. “Drink this, nice and slow. What’s your address again?”

After taking a sip I told her and then glanced at the dashboard, where a book was resting. I picked it up and read the title aloud. “Invisible Darkness?”  

“Yeah, a friend gave it to me,” Martha said as we drove out of the parking lot, “You remember when I said I liked nonfiction? Don’t assume I’m crazy or anything, but I actually really like true crime novels.”  

“I wouldn’t think you’re crazy for that,” I went back to thinking about Tanya kneeling on the floor in the bathroom, “Lots of people like those. What got you into them?”  

Martha bit her bottom lip before glancing over at me. “Well, I picked it up along the way from someone I knew. Sorry for the nothing answer, I mean, isn’t that how that always works? Most people are just pieces and parts of everyone they know, if you think about it.”  

It was then it hit me what was suddenly very different about Martha. You remember the glasses I talked about, right? They were gone. And instead of cornflower blue eyes that I did find kinda pretty… her eyes were amber. The color of a glass of whiskey.  

Just like Tanya’s.

By the time I was dropped off, Martha looked even less like herself and looked more like Tanya. Ever time I’d glance over, she was just a little different. Her cheekbones a little sharper, her lips a little fuller, her figure a little more hour glass shaped. I couldn’t get into my apartment fast enough.  

I don’t know what I saw last night and I’m not sure if I want to know. But Martha’s texted me, saying that we should try again this weekend. She says this time she’ll pick me up since she knows where I live now.  

I’m so fucking afraid of what she’ll take from me if I turn her down.  

#my stories

[my-head-is-an-animal]

Problems With The Heart

Greg House x Dr Anna Harding (OFC)

Story Masterlist

Chapter 11 - 40 Candidates

House was enjoying the way Anna was playing her games with him, he managed to get his guitar back and made her laugh with his idea to interview forty people all at the same time, whittling them down to three to see who he could stand working with.

‘Cuddy will never let you get away with that.’ She laughed while they sat at the bar, doing shots.

‘What’s she going to do to stop me?’

‘Look, just make it quick, most of my staff can’t stand you as it is, we don’t need a horde of doctors following you around, getting in the way when you come and see me.’

‘Who says I’m going to go up two floors to see you?’ He frowned with a grin. ‘I’ve got a bum leg you know.’

‘Doesn’t stop you doing things for fun.’ Her eyes flashed at him as her gaze dropped to his mouth.

‘Have sex with me.’ He said.

‘Give me a reason to.’

House liked the game. ‘I’ve never needed a reason before.’

‘So, everyone gets to play games with everyone, but I don’t get to play games with you?’

‘What are the rules?’ He was getting curious about what she was doing.

‘The only ones you should concern yourself with are these: you give me a good reason to have sex with you and you don’t ask for help. I’ll know if you do.’

‘How?’

‘I know how your mouth works.’

‘So do a lot of women, but you don’t see them bragging.’ They threw back another shot. ‘Okay, fine, but if I win, I want the good stuff.’

‘Fine.’ She agreed and they drank to it.

House spent days coming up with a good reason, something that she wouldn’t be able to resist, he suspected she wouldn’t take just any reason, but the specificity might not have been her aim either.

The first day of interviews were exactly what he expected, boring, until the astronaut came in to liven things up. It eliminated most of the candidates and made his job easier.

While he was giving his speech and after Cuddy had told him he couldn’t interview people this way, the door at the back of the lecture hall opened.

‘Woah!’ House whistled, looking her up and down. Anna had told him she had some board members in looking at her department that morning so she needed to dress the part, black heels with a slimming black pant suit that just brushed her ankles, a light pink top that in the right light showed she was wearing a white lace bra, her make up was minimal, but her bright blue eyes were beautiful and her thick brown hair curled around her shoulders. It was one of the only times he’d seen her coat sleeves rolled down. ‘I didn’t order a supermodel.’

‘I know, you just went ahead and hired forty doctors for three positions.’ She raised her eyebrow as she descended the steps and House could feel his heart racing a little faster.

‘Hot British cardiologists anyone else’s thing?’ House addressed the whole hall, mostly to keep himself from stripping her naked and having her in the steps of the lecture hall.

‘Cuddy asked me to come and see if I could find any sense in what you’re doing.’ She ignored his comment, stepping closer to him so he could smell light perfume on her.

‘I’m interviewing potential candidates.’

Anna grinned a little. ‘Okay. How’s that going? You guys enjoying Dr House’s approach?’

The room was silent. House was at risk of losing himself to her. ‘Well, someone answer the woman, unless you’re a hallucination? Everyone else can see an outrageously hot doctor right?’

One of the candidates he was definitely firing, cleared his throat. ‘He’s not very agreeable.’

‘No, he’s not.’ Anna agree without looking at the candidate. ‘You’ll get used to that.’

‘I thought you found me very agreeable, Dr Harding.’

‘I find you tolerable on hospital grounds.’

‘And not on hospital grounds?’ House liked where this was going.

Anna closed her mouth, but her smile was evident. She turned around to head back out the hall. ‘I’m not covering for you,’ she said reaching the top. ‘Make a decision and do it quickly.’

‘Yes, ma’am.’ House sighed, hating that she was leaving.

Once she was gone the whole room looked at him.

‘Is she your girlfriend?’ The same candidate asked.

‘Yeah, she has a thing for cripples.’ House said, sarcastically. ‘You’re fired.’

House moved onto other things.

I went to House’s office for a consult. I found the two groups of candidates in his office and the second I walked in they all looked at me as if they had questions.

‘No.’ I said the second I walked in. ‘I am not helping you with anything.’

‘We just want to know what House wants from us.’ One of them said. ‘How do we win the game?’

I sighed heading over to his desk to check his notes on a previous case that might have helped mine. ‘Just cure the patient. House will make his decision based on his rules and you’ll never find out what they are no matter what you do.’

‘So this is all just random?’ Another one asked.

‘It’s never random.’ I said quietly, my snapping up. ‘I never said that. Just cure the patient.’

I quickly got what I needed and left his office, running into House immediately.

‘Sneaking around to steal my stuff?’ He asked, sarcastically. ‘Or are you on look out duty for Wilson again?’

‘Neither. I needed a consult.’ I said as we went back into his office. The candidates all began speaking at once. ‘Woah woah woah, if I haven’t slept with you, I don’t want to hear you speaking.’

I stayed silent, I wasn’t playing his game either. House just looked at me and breathed heavily.

‘Okay, only outrageously hot British chicks get to speak.’ He gave in. ‘Gimmie the file.’

I handed it over and after a two minute consult I had my answer. I went to take the file but he stopped me.

‘Hey, come over tonight.’ He said, his eyes flickering over my body.

‘Give me a reason.’ I flirted back. House smiled and let the file go. ‘Thank you for the consult.’

I waited for him in the lobby and he just had to make a show of flirting all the way out. I knew the candidates were watching and I just couldn’t seem to care when I saw the look he was giving me.

It was a long night and my body ached amazingly in the morning.

Somehow it still wasn’t enough to stop himself shoving a knife into a wall socket. One of his team had come up to tell me.

‘Is he stable?’ I asked, checking a patient’s heart rate.

‘Erm, yeah, he’s just unconscious.’ She said, I think her name was Amber. ‘He paged me before he did it.’

‘Okay, heart rate is a little high, but everything else looks good, I’ll be back to check on you in a little while.’ I told the patient who nodded.

‘Don’t you care that he tried to kill himself?’ She asked as I guided her out of the room.

I sighed. ‘He didn’t try to kill himself. I don’t know what the hell he was doing, but it wasn’t that.’

‘He stuck a knife into a wall socket.’

‘He paged you. He did it in the middle of a hospital.’ I shot back. ‘That means he wasn’t trying to kill himself.’ I told her. ‘I will visit when I don’t have patients to see. Do not get the wrong impression about the nature of my relationship with Dr House, people have made that mistake before and it didn’t end well.’

‘So, you don’t care?’

‘Of course I care, but he’s insane, he’s going to do insane things every once in a while.’ I took a file that was being handed to me. ‘If you’ll excuse me, I have patients.’

I wandered off to take care of another patient and allowed myself a few moments to absorb what House had done in the privacy of my office. Wilson had been texting me updates anyway.

If you liked this, please consider supporting me ☕ thanks for reading!

#Greg House #greg house x reader #greg house x original female character #greg house fic #house md

[adamwatchesmovies]

After We Collided (2020)

After We Collided is a gloriously ridiculous drama, a film that makes the Twilight franchise seem subtle and realistic. It’s professional-looking, free of bad special effects and devoid of cringe-worthy performances but the plot is so loopy it’ll have bad movie fans howling. You'll laugh twice as hard if you catch this sequel right after its predecessor, 2019’s After.

Though it appeared that Tessa (Josephine Langford) had forgiven Hardin (Hero Fiennes Tiffin) after she discovered he only began dating her on a dare, they've broken up. One month later, Hardin is a mess and Tessa is beginning a prestigious internship at Vance Publishing, working alongside the handsome Trevor Matthews (Dylan Sprouse). Desperate to win her back, Hardin approaches Tessa. Despite her best efforts, she finds herself drawn to him once more.

You know this movie is in trouble when it begins Alien 3 style and retcons away the finale of the previous story. Hardin’s got a heartbreak so severe he’s hanging out with bums. He’s stumbling to his favourite tattoo artist to immortalize the pain he’s feeling. Meanwhile, Tessa has won the professional lottery. On her first day at Vance Publishing (wasn’t that where Anastasia Steele worked too?), she’s given a simple assignment: read 5 manuscripts by the end of the week and let her boss (Kimberly, played by Candice King) know if any are good. What does she do? Read all 5 in one night, at the office. The owner of Vance Publishing (Christian, played by Charlie Weber) finds her sleeping at her desk the next day. He’s so impressed, he brings Tessa with him to a club in Seattle so she can sweet-talk a potential investor. She gets to stay in a company-paid hotel, gets a new wardrobe and is practically on her way to owning the business. It's even more impressive once you realize she only completed one year of university.

A big shocker with this film is the grown-up content. After was PG. It’s only been a year but obviously, the audience for this movie has "matured" and so has the rating. This sequel is rated R, complete with more sex scenes than the entire Twilight franchise and a shot of Hero Fiennes Tiffin’s butt. Tessa just pulled down his shorts and she’s looking hungry. I bet the teenage girls who are watching are about to burst too.

I want to direct your attention to the film’s writers. I don’t recognize Mario Celaya (at the time of this review, this is his only writing credit on IMDB) but I recognize the other name: Anna Todd. The book’s writer is now the screenwriter, and it shows. It’s like NOTHING from the book has been cut unless it was absolutely necessary. We meet a whole bunch of characters whose dialogue and interactions with Tessa tell you we’re supposed to care about every detail of their life, but we don’t. The film is so crammed it jumps from wild development to Tessa and Hardin breaking up, to sex scene, to new development, to breakup - with no pauses in between.

There’s so much to ridicule it's hard to pick the funniest aspect of After We Collided but if you ask me, I’d choose Trevor. He’s supposed to be this series’ Jacob but from frame 1, you can tell there’s no way he and Tessa are getting together. The movie tries so desperately to make him the desirable good guy it’s kind of pathetic. The man’s got no personality except being kind and helpful. He’s a robot’s idea of what a boyfriend would be like - and if you weren’t convinced, the post-credit scene will.

After We Collided is not a good movie. In fact, it’s probably among 2020’s worst but one thing’s for sure: it’s never boring. Delightfully ridiculous, melodramatic and tonally inconsistent, it’s got plenty to offer to bad movie enthusiasts who know what they’re getting into. There are two sequels in the works and I can’t wait. (March 19, 2021)

#After We Collided #After #movies #films #movie reviews #film reviews #Roger Kumble #Anna Todd #Mario Celaya #Josephine Langford #Hero Fiennes Tiffin #Dylan Sprouse #Shane Paul McGhie #Candice King #Khadijha Red Thunder #Inanna Sarkis #Samuel Larsen #Selma Blair #2020 movies #2020 films

[wow-cool-robot]

Episode 1: The Black Gundam

bummed i don't get the original 80s-ass opening, which rules. i understand there was some kind of rights dispute? but the instrumental piece works fine, even if it's not nearly as good

0079 looked surprisingly good for its age, but i can already tell this one was made with some real expectations for its success

i love all the glimpses of new mobile suits here

amuro, fraw bow, mirai, hayato, kai, and bright all making an appearance here with the orphans, who look early teen-ish?

a bunch of dudes looking for something. they're all veterans with new suits,

dang, not even 2 minutes into the show proper and kamille's already been slapped for skipping school. he rolls with it though

so kamille starts as a powerful enough newtype that this other guy (char?) mistakes him for amuro from a distance

uhh. lalah's dead. has been for a while, i think this takes place like 8 years ofter 0079. were you not there?

love the space-tram. this show just looks really good

so kamille's a fan of bright, huh?

oh, so this is why he didn't want her saying his name. my man going apeshit on these cops(?)

dude, i think you need to chill. like, acab and all, but there's a time and a place for that, you know? and that time and place is definitely not in the middle of the spaceport when you don't have anyone with you

this guy sounds familiar. is this another series that opens with char infiltrating a colony to get at a gundam?

i can't comment on this every time the show looks good, but this is a massive leap in animation quality from 6 years before

why'd you take the mask off? i'd be keeping that on if i was doing something like this, what if someone shoots and busts open the wall?

the yellow stained gundam eyecatch is way more boring than shau! was

he's got the same kind of camera too! and he almost dropped it! put that thing away or you'll lose it

oooh, evil gundam? or does it just look that way? and it's been 8 years and they've only just started the gundam mk. ii?

this might be a better action sequence than anything in the first show, it's real good.

i don't know why kamille doesn't know about it, but please explain the aeug for me

this random cop: the idea that the aeug wants good things is a lie! you've never heard of them, but they're definitely evil and you shouldn't join them!

mr lawyer man here getting kamille out of juvie, calls the cop out for space discrimination and immediately has all his work thrown out when kamille kicks the cop

oh, the gundam 2 crashed through the building

is kamille going to be on the run from the law? he just ran away and stole a car. i think me and him are going to get along just fine

i like this a lot, but what's your plan here? you don't know either, do you?

uhh. i think it's not ideal that the colony just got shot

what a first episode! this is a much stronger start than 0079, and that was already pretty good. i'm on board with this!

#zeta #gundam liveblog

[coolman229]

Having finally watched the new Batman movie I have to say it’s one of the worst Batman movies I’ve ever seen. It’s almost as bad as Snyder sludge and just as arrogantly self indulgent. It’s got a bloated runtime that spends 3 hours telling what is in all honesty a simple story that struggles to tell basic information in a coherent way. It’s incredible how little story is told for how long it is. And that’s not getting into the horrendous directing and crap cinematography. Goodness gracious the movie can look so dark it’s hard to see what’s going on and the way it’s shot comes off as amateurish. The most this movie manages is just Snyder levels of “symbolism” with singular shots that are just okay but nothing special. At points it’s hard to see what’s going on and don’t even get me started on the fight scenes. They were boring at best and painful to watch at worst. The Batsuit being so invincible drains even the slightest bit of tension as he’s just tanking constant gunfire. Batman looks more like a bum fighting over the last bottle of booze than a highly trained fighter. People can claim it’s “more realistic” but I do not watch a series about a billionaire dressed in a bat suit fighting crime for realism.  

It completely bastardizes almost every facet of Batman it attempts to introduce. Bruce in the movie is a moron who doesn’t even bother trying to come up with a persona to hide his true identity and fails to properly investigate much of anything. The dude couldn’t even think to look at a picture for clues before walking up to gangsters and politely asking for them to look at the picture. And the fact that they barely even touch on Bruce’s backstory is insulting. The only way he’s smart in this movie is because he just seems like he’s read the script, which isn’t helped by the fact that they really don’t delve into why Batman is so smart. People can whine all they want about how they hate seeing Bruce’s parents die over and over but the reason why it keeps being in stories is because it’s so important. It’s like Uncle Ben’s death in Spiderman, it’s so important it needs to be shown in every version or you lose something. Bruce’s backstory is relatively simple being that his parents were shot by a random mugger and then Bruce trained all over the world to become Batman. But this movie can’t even manage that. Not only do they barely even touch on his backstory only saying his parents died, but they do what so many bad versions of Batman do and overcomplicate the death of the Waynes by involving the mob. It’s not supposed to be complicated. It doesn’t involve the mob, it doesn’t involve Joker, it doesn’t involve any conspiracies. It was just a guy named Joe Chill who was mugging them. While they may have thought they were being smart by ignoring the backstory all this does is leave Bruce feeling extremely hollow and almost vacant as a character

Selina is an absolute wreck and is portrayed as more weak than Catwoman should. Not to mention she’s almost completely irrelevant to the plot. If she was dropped the movie would improve because we wouldn’t have to distract from the story with her subplot and we’d lose the cringe as hell romance that had zero build up and makes it clear Robert Pattinson and Zoe Kravitz have zero chemistry with each other.

Though perhaps the worst offender was Riddler, who wasn’t even close to being Riddler. He’s really just Anarky mixed with Zsasz that leaves clues. The dude is a crazed serial killer who wants to destabilize society and cause mayhem. We keep running into this problem with these live action Batman movies. You guys want Anarky. You want a smart villain who’s goal is to cause mayhem and anarchy and reform things to his own twisted views? The dude’s name is Anarky and he’s been around since 1989. Edward Nygma isn’t a serial killer. His main goal is to prove his own intelligence, and if someone is going to die he will never just beat them over the head with a club. He’ll set up an elaborate trap and want people (usually Batman) to play the game. His riddles aren’t about leaving clues behind, that’s more Cluemaster though he’s usually seen as a rip off of Riddler. Riddler is all about the game and killing is only incidental to his schemes or specifically around revenge. Riddler’s origin episode in Batman the Animated Series perfectly encapsulates this where he gets revenge on his ex boss while doing it in an elaborate game while giving Batman a chance to figure things out (no matter how insane or difficult the riddles are). This Riddler isn’t even all that smart, it’s more that the plot is written around him to make him look smart, more like Light Yagami in Death Note. Most of the Riddler’s schemes would completely fall apart if every little thing that needed to happen didn’t perfectly match up in the most lucky way possible. And that’s not even getting into the whole cringe angle of him being an evil toxic online troll leading a whole bunch of other evil toxic online trolls who are obviously evil. This dude would have been on 12 FBI watchlists by this point and he could have been taken down by 4chan.

Ultimately the movie was insanely unenjoyable and it makes the Burton and Schumacher movies look good in comparison. How this movie was so insanely praised is beyond me.

[joshhhhhhhhhhhhhhh]

God I’m like, so bummed out about the Made in Abyss game lol. Cause like, a Made in Abyss game sounds hype pretty much inherently? Like I’m absolutely not the first person to express that sentiment - that this world and its mechanics would make for a really fucking exciting video game. And like we’re actually getting that! But it just looks so... depressingly budget. I know that most anime games tend to be budget, it’s not like Made in Abyss has any reason to be an exception to that rule, but. You look at some of the views in the Made in Abyss manga, and in its anime adaptation. And then you look at the cheap graphics and pathetic render distances of this game and it can’t even compare, and that sucks!

That feeling extends to the environments themselves outside of just graphics. Made in Abyss manga is impossibly pretty, and the anime went ahead and added even more locations, stuff to look at, things for Riko and Reg to explore. A video game could take that even further - really give us a massively expansive and “complete” feeling abyss. But trailers and screenshots just show locations from the anime lol. Nothing new, no hidden corners, just stuff we’ve all seen before but now it looks worse.

There’s also how the Curse of the Abyss seems to be being handled? It basically just seems to cause varying levels of debuffs to your stamina and hunger metre, which make it harder to keep your health high without obviously - as well as I guess stopping in place to puke a bit and seeing what barely qualify as hallucinations. Basically just stuff working in service of making dying easier. But then you just respawn at last save or whatever! That’s so boring! The Curse is this utterly terrifying and uncaring phenonemon that makes the abyss truly a place of no return! And in this game it’s just some slight debuffs that at worst are gonna send you back a savepoint and cost a bit of progress! That’s just annoying, not scary! Not even fucking kidding this should be a game where if you die it deletes your save file - that’s it. You weren’t good enough for the Abyss. You couldn’t face it. You don’t get another shot (but like you do it’s just you’ve gotta start from the beginning). I easily get why that might be cringe but bro it’s the fucking abyss it’s this force of nature beyond our comprehension, a place so impossibly intimidating but that we’re drawn to anyway due to its mystery and the sense of adventure burning in our hearts and eyes! The stakes should be as high as losing your fucking save file so we’re not commodifying the fucking thing!

That’s all I think. Rant over. I’m still sorta interested in buying this game but idkkkkkkkkkkkk I really fucking wish it looked better aaaaaaaa

#made in abyss #7.7.22

[twoidiotsonetypewriter]

Hi. I’m dying anyways, so here are my words from the grave. The first time I killed a man. Oh boy was that a long time ago, but I can still remember it like it was yesterday. It was a crisp autumn day and a cool electric charge was in the air. I had a loose .33 in my tacky leather coat - God, I had bad taste. Alls aside, I was walking on Second street and Maine near that pizza place I love. You know “pizza popinen da daa?” And I had a paper bag in my left hand full of stolen money. He was young - a cop - and very nervous. Beads of sweat budded on his clean-shaven face as locks of golden hair rolled down his shoulders. His eyes darted about with anticipation. I turned the Bum corner and…. And he was right there, clear as day. He had to be worried to not notice me walking. All he said was a fragmented word as I pulled out the .33 and shot him in the chest. Time slowed for me and I can remember that second and have remembered it every day since. I saw his blue eyes dull as his soul leapt, from his body pushing him to the asphalt. The murky sky was reflected in those dead eyes. I held his lifeless body and howled.

I ran like hell out of there after that, tears leaping from my face; I jumped from railing to railing.

Ah, I know. Now you know the first, I can tell you about the murder that still lingers in my mind. This was years after the first, and by then I had pretty much flown straight (and not gotten caught - 27 times to be exact). I was a military man now, fightin’ the commies in the desert or whatever. I can’t remember too much, except for one day. It was a hazy, scorching, dry day in the desert. I was loaded with all my gear and my weapon clanked against the chain on my back. As I walked and walked and walked and the shoulder straps bore into my shoulders. It was so sudden, a massive noise and a shriek -- then my friend’s shrieks. Agony was in the air and it was all I could feel. I looked around and my friends were everywhere; scattered chunks and dismembered limbs lay strewn around a crater of shrapnel. Everything went fuzzy for a moment and I thought I was going to pass out. Out of sheer willpower and necessity I rose up and saw the man running at me. He was shorter, obviously weaker, possibly less experienced? Soon enough, he pulled out a dagger forged from an amalgam of scraps. I grabbed his arm and, surprised, he tripped. That’s when I was tackled and my gun misfired. It struck the boy in the forehead and his soul departed, thrusting his body into the barren dirt. A final pink floom of blood spewed out into the wind. I laid there and I felt like I was going into shock. My leg was bleeding a lot. I felt my soul trying to escape.

I stumbled over to the boy and rolled him over. I didn’t care if he had a bomb strapped to him I needed to see his face. I desperately ripped off his mask and helmet. He was a kid, not even in puberty. His dull brown eyes only reflected myself. When they found me, they left him behind.

I went home and I was praised as a hero -- I guess for some heroism is killing kids who don’t even know what they’re fighting for. But I got rewards and benefits but never a shoulder, never a person to talk to. So I went back to life as normal.

Having assumed you’ve not skimmed and now know of my two deepest secrets. I have a tale to unravel. It goes like this: One day a boy named - , was walking happily with his family. A year later only has a father. The next and he’s walking alone. Of course he’s still young and small but he walks with purpose. There is a happiness about him that no one has seen before and they tell him their condolences. He responds with nods and smiles but never thanks. He inherited enough to get through at least a few years - if he was lucky. Working in his free time he begins to gain purpose and power.

He graduates high school and now has to make the decision to go to college or something else. College isn’t a choice so what else then. He was alone and reclusive. White space was all that filled his life. He lost purpose so what did he do?

Through the window slits a street lamp cast shadows throughout the room. Finally looking in the room without rose colored glasses all the gory roots and hidden secrets were revealed. As warm light illuminated his face he realized, “I can finally rest; “

Amusing, truly a fool's pipe dream - instead he got up and robbed a convenience store.

#writing #my writing #fiction #journal #my words #writeblr #writing inspiration #short story #writing community #writer things #writer #writers on tumblr #queer writers #writer stuff #tw death #tw murder #tw guns #tw knife #tw light gore