#don't know if this is a popular show but I'll post it tomorrow

[wlntrsldler]

poisoned mercury | close as strangers (post chb)

a/n: okayyyy so i didn't give them an angst ending but i had to give into the angst monster at least once for this series so here's a bonus chapter for poisoned mercury. miscommunication galore. long distance is hard! two dumbasses in love!

song: close as strangers by 5sos

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"i'll talk to you tomorrow, yeah?" luke whispered, trying not to wake his bandmates up. the tour bus was large enough to house them while they were on the road, but it didn't really give the privacy he hoped for. chris was just across the narrow walkway from him and luke could hear his soft snores through the thin curtain that separated them. 

luke felt his heart hammering in his chest when you didn't reply to him. he could still hear your breaths through the phone and you were just talking to him a second ago, so he knew you were still awake. you both had equally busy lives which meant that your phone calls were getting shorter and shorter each day. luke knew it was because you were booked with school and tournaments for field hockey and he was always exhausted after each meeting now that the band was working on their second album. luke knew all of this, but it didn't stop him from missing you. he was lucky to get a ten-minute call with you nowadays. 

"baby?" he tried again, chewing on his bottom lip. he turned to face the ceiling of his bunk, the light from his phone casting a shadow on his face as he waited for you to say something. anything. "can i call you tomorrow?" 

you sighed, "i don't know, luke. i have a busy day. it's a travel game tomorrow so i don't know if i'll be up late." 

"oh," he cleared his throat, trying to hide his disappointment. he felt a little stupid that there were tears pooling in his eyes. so you can't talk tomorrow, it shouldn't be a big deal, right? except that luke felt like you were pulling away from him. little by little. and he didn't know how to stop it. it wasn't like he could drop everything to show up at your doorstep and fix things with you. if it was up to him, he would do it in a heartbeat, but you'd probably get mad at him for it, for abandoning his responsibilities as the lead singer of the most popular band in the world. not to mention the boys would be livid and mr. d and his mom would be equally furious. 

"sorry, maybe next week?" 

"yeah, sure," he replied, thankful that you weren't on facetime tonight. he didn't want you to see his face. "alright, i'll let you get some rest. go kill it tomorrow. g'night, five star." 

"goodnight," you said, ending the call as soon as the last syllable left your lips. 

luke groaned quietly, tossing his phone on the foot of his bed. he knew long distance was going to be difficult. it's been months since he last saw you, months since he was at camp half blood, sleeping in your bed and waking up to the feeling of your lips peppering kisses on his face. maybe he shouldn't have gotten so attached so fast, but it wasn't like he had a choice in the matter. 

he got out from his bunk, tucking his feet into his slippers and made his way to the living room area of the bus. he sat on the couch, peering out the window to watch the empty roads ahead. they were on their way to nashville to meet with a producer that mr. d recommended. the second album was almost done, but it was missing something and none of them wanted to put out a record that didn't meet their expectations. 

mr. d was already in tennessee waiting for them. he'd flown in from houston a few days ago with luke's mom and the rest of the poisoned mercury team while the boys were in atlanta for a movie premiere. they decided that a road trip was needed to de-stress after the glitz and buzz of the red carpet. it was nice to have some alone time with the boys. in their tour bus, luke felt like they were back in connecticut, just four friends fucking around, writing music, and eating junk food until their stomachs hurt. 

he turned on the tv, switching to some random channel that he wasn't paying attention to. he just needed some noise to drown out his thoughts, but that didn't seem to work. all he could think of was you, his five star, and how much he missed you. luke wondered if you were having second thoughts about this whole thing. maybe he'd been too optimistic about things; maybe you weren't on the same page as he was; maybe you realized that it was too difficult to be with him. 

a shiver ran down his spine as he spiraled into his thoughts. admitting to himself that something was wrong between the two of you left a bitter taste in his mouth because he didn't want to believe it. he saw you as his endgame, like nobody else in the world could compare to you, and to think that you may not feel the same about him... well, it was a difficult pill to swallow.

he wondered if he came on too strong, showed his cards too early, and seemed too clingy and lovestruck before it was deemed appropriate. you'd only been together, officially at least, for four months, most of which were long distance, but luke knew he was a goner for you way before that. 

he silently cursed as the chill of the december air hit his skin. he should've worn a hoodie. he grabbed the small throw blanket draped over the armchair and placed it around his shoulders. he wished he got to see you over thanksgiving break because maybe you two wouldn't be in this rocky situation right now, but your coach ordered you and clarisse to stay on campus over break to sharpen your skills since you missed summer training. luke and chris were less than pleased with the idea, but they knew it was out of their control. 

luke fell asleep on the couch that night after succumbing to the tiredness in his body. the sun was beginning to rise by the time his eyelids fluttered shut. he hoped that he'd wake up to a text from you, but when he woke up to the sound of the bus screeching to a halt in nashville, he realized it was the hope that kills. 

-

“are you guys going to the fall concert?” silena asked, poking her head out of the bathroom. she was part of the planning committee for the unc fall semester concert and she’d been stressing over the logistics of it for weeks. 

“lena, if we even tried to miss it, you’d kill us,” clarisse chuckled, putting on a coat of mascara. “you’ve been talking about this since we got back.” 

the three of you were getting ready in your dorm. you and clarisse were roommates this year, thank gods for athlete privileges, and silena lived in the building next door in a single since she was an ra. how she had the time to be an ra, be a member of the music festival planning committee, and be a full-time student was truly beyond your comprehension. 

“lena, calm down. it’ll be good,” you squeezed her shoulders as you passed by behind her, grabbing your lipgloss from the counter. “and even if it sucks, half the people in the crowd are either drunk or high or both and will probably not remember it.” 

“true,” she snorted, curling the final piece of her hair. she unplugged her hair curler and gave herself one last look in the mirror, “i’ll see you guys there? i gotta go make sure shit didn’t hit the fan.” 

you and clarisse nodded as silena said her goodbyes. you dabbed on some lipgloss, glancing down at your phone every few seconds. clarisse side-eyed you, unable to hide her smile, “you waitin’ for a text?” 

“shut up,” you rolled your eyes at her teasing tone. she didn't really know that your relationship was a little muddy at the moment. you weren’t the best at talking about your feelings and it felt wrong to talk about your relationship drama when clarisse and chris seemed to be going strong. “they’re supposed to land in los angeles ten minutes ago.” 

“their flight probably got delayed, y/n,” she replied, “happens all the time.” 

“no, i know, but just wanna make sure they’re safe, y’know?” 

clarisse crossed her arms over her chest, “they’re safe or he’s safe?” 

you ignored her question, opting to busy yourself with the weather app on your phone to avoid any follow-up questions, “how are you not checking your phone for a text from chris right now?” 

she shrugged, “he always knocks out on long flights so i don’t expect a text until he gets to their hotel.” 

“how are you and chris, by the way? i know we live together and shit, but i feel like we haven’t gotten to talk about it in detail since we’re always so tired from school and practice.” 

“we’re good,” clarisse hummed, “just miss him loads, though. i haven’t seen him since we left camp– what? four, almost five, months ago?” 

you were in the same boat, kind of. you and luke hadn’t seen each other in months and you were getting antsy. they’d been on the road for the past few months, meeting with producers and fulfilling their contractual obligations. they hadn’t been in a set location long enough for you to be able to fly out to see luke, even just for a weekend. 

at first, there were movie dates where you’d order each other food and eat and watch the movie on facetime together. there were weekly phone calls and daily texts, but nothing compares to the real thing. being with luke in person was something that you were craving. camp half blood spoiled you with having him all for yourself and now that you were back in school and he’s out in the world, it was beginning to weigh on you. 

you missed him. a lot. 

you missed kissing him and feeling his lips break out into a smile when you’d mumble something stupid. you missed feeling his arms around you, hugging you from behind while you got ready for the day. you even missed waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of him scribbling random lyrics on pieces of scrap paper he found in your room when he slept over. 

long distance is hard and sure, luke wouldn’t be the type to cheat or do anything to jeopardize your relationship, but it still didn’t stop a knot from forming in your stomach every time a picture of him or the band popped up on your social media with a gorgeous singer, actor, or model that they ran into on the red carpet. what if he realizes one day that he wants someone who lives the same life as him? wild and adventurous, not tied down by school or sports? 

a part of you felt silly for being so insecure about things. it was too early in the relationship to have this conversation, isn’t it? you knew that your avoidance of the topic was starting to affect your relationship with luke, as much as you wished it didn’t, but what if the minute you voice your concerns, he’ll realize that being with you was more than he bargained for? after all, you weren’t the same five star with all the time in her hands, care-free, and relaxed that he met at camp. there was a chance that luke would call it quits on this if you said anything and it felt like too big of a risk to take. 

your phone buzzed on the counter, indicating a text.

from: luke <3 

‘landed and jetlagged. gonna sleep for a few. enjoy the concert babe!’ 

you hearted the message and slipped your phone into your back pocket after sending him a quick goodnight text. the three dots popped up for a second, then in a blink, they disappeared. read at 8:43 pm. 

“you ready?” 

you snapped out of your thoughts at the sound of clarisse’s voice. you nodded and grabbed your small purse before heading out the door. you ran into a group of your teammates who were heading to the amphitheater across campus for the concert. the walk seemed to fly by as they cracked jokes and shared stories about random things. you stayed silent for the most part, only laughing along when it seemed like the right time, but your mind was somewhere else. your mind was in los angeles. 

by the time you got to the venue, you and clarisse separated from the group to enter the vip tent, courtesy of silena. a small crowd was beginning to form in front of the stage, taking up the grassy field. charlie was already at the tent, sipping on an ipa when he saw the two of you. his face broke out into a wide smile, giving you and clarisse a quick hug before leading you to the seats he saved. 

“season’s looking promising for you guys, charlie,” you commented, accepting the high noon he offered. “the team’s looking good out there.” 

“thanks,” he beamed, “don’t think we’re on the level of national champs just yet like you guys, but we’re trying!” 

“you guys are doing great,” clarisse chimed in, “the energy in the stadium is electric this year. makes me love college.” 

“are you telling me the papers and tests aren’t what makes you love college, la rue?” charlie teased. 

she snorted, “oh yeah, because i just love staying up until 1 am writing a paper on greek mythology for classics 101.”

the three of you fell into a comfortable conversation about the class you were all taking. it was a prerequisite class that most athletes choose to take because the professor was flexible with deadlines when it came to athletes. it was helpful especially when a team has to play beyond their season for tournaments or championships. about ten minutes before the opening act got on stage, silena rushed into the tent.

“guys, please you need to come with me. i need your help,” she said frantically. she was nervously tugging on her ‘staff’ badge around her neck, already halfway out of the tent as she waited for the three of you to follow her. “please, it’s an emergency.” 

“woah, lena, what’s going on?” you asked, getting up to comfort her. you followed her through the crowd, grabbing clarisse’s hand to keep her close. 

silena shook her head, continuing her march through the sea of people, “just come with me, i’ll explain when we get backstage.” 

you and clarisse looked at each other, feeling bad for silena. she put in her blood, sweat, and tears into this concert and you knew that she would beat herself up over it if something went wrong. silena always put her all into the projects she’s passionate about, but sometimes things outside of her control happen and unfortunately, she blames herself for it. 

in the whirlwind of ‘excuse me’s’ and ‘sorry’s’, the four of you managed to make your way backstage. it was chaotic. people were running around everywhere making sure everything was set for the opening act. the girl who was opening the concert was waiting by the wings, her guitar strapped across her chest as she took some deep breaths. the crowd wasn’t full yet, but you knew that if you were in that position, you’d still be sweating buckets. going out there on stage to perform for strangers was nerve-racking. you didn’t know how luke did it. you admired that about him. 

“lena, are you gonna tell us what’s going on?” clarisse questioned, picking up the pace of her steps to match silena. 

silena stopped in front of a door, slowly turning to face you and clarisse. suddenly, her stressed facade faded as she twisted the doorknob, “why don’t you see for yourself?” 

if you weren’t so confused about what was going on, you would’ve seen charlie lift his can up to his lips to hide his smile at how proud he was of his girlfriend for her acting skills. when the door opened, your heart stopped. 

luke was here. 

he stood in the middle of the room beside chris with a nervous smile on his face. he was wearing a black leather jacket on top of a white tank top and black pants. his poisoned mercury chain hung from his neck, shining under the overhead lights. his hands were stuffed in his front pockets, shy and timid, as he waited for your reaction. 

clarisse screamed when it hit her that chris was actually here. she ran to him and nearly tackled him to the floor. chris wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and laughed as she giggled into his neck. the two of them shared a heartfelt reunion before rushing out of the room to get some privacy. the sound of the door shutting behind you made you blink.

luke cleared his throat, right hand scratching the back of his neck, “hey, five star.” 

the nickname brought you back to your senses. you ran to him, engulfing him in a tight hug with an ‘umph.’ at first, luke was tense under your touch, unsure if you’d be happy with his surprise, but quickly, he melted into you. he buried his face in the crook of your neck, sighing in content as your familiar scent surrounded him. he felt sparks coursing through his veins as you hugged him tighter and all he could think about was how good it felt to have you in his arms again. his mind was still reeling at your reaction. he didn’t expect you to run to him like this, especially not when it felt like you’d been avoiding his calls over the last few weeks. 

“what are you doing here?” you asked him, pulling away to hold his face in your hands. your eyes twinkled as you raked over his face, still in disbelief that he was actually in front of you. “you’re supposed to be in la.”

luke couldn’t stop the lopsided smile on his face, “well, i lied? we were in nashville recording with your dad and he mentioned that he didn’t schedule a session for us this weekend in case me and chris wanted to take a trip to north carolina, so here we are.” 

you ran your thumbs over his cheekbones, whispering, “here you are.” 

“god, i missed you so much,” he said, voice breaking. “you have no idea how hard it’s been.” 

you gulped, your hold on his face faltering a bit. if luke wasn’t on edge, he wouldn’t have noticed the falter in your step, but he felt the slight hesitation in your actions. your warm touch slowly peeled away from his face and he instantly regretted saying those words. here he goes being clingy again. he removed his hands from your waist, clearing his throat. he sat on the couch, motioning for you to sit beside him. he tried to keep his hands to himself when you left a space between the two of you. 

“i still can’t believe you’re really here,” you said, staring at him. you wanted to lean over and hold him in your arms again, but there was a weird tension in the air that made you feel queasy. “i feel like i’m dreaming right now.” 

“i hope you’re not mad that i’m here,” luke looked down at his lap, flexing his hands. he had to keep his hands busy or else he’d surely reach for yours and he didn’t want to come on too strong. he had to keep his distance. he didn’t want to scare you off any more than he already did. “there was just an opening in the schedule and i-i wanted to see you.” 

“i’m not mad at all.” 

“good, good,” he replied. silence. he forced himself to look up from his lap, twisting his body to face you. he bit his bottom lip, trying to build up the courage to ask his next question. “are we okay?” 

“we’re okay.” 

“okay because i feel like things have been different between us lately,” he pursed his lips, looking at you with sad eyes. his tongue poked out the corner of his lips, eyes darting between you and the wall behind you. “i don’t know. i feel like we haven’t talked in ages, y’know? and i know you’re busy and you have a great life here that i’m not really a part of, but uh, i wanna be, y’know? i don’t know much about school or field hockey, but it’s important to you and you’re important to me so i wanna hear about it.” 

he was met with more silence. luke continued, “maybe i’m asking for too much when i ask you to let me be a part of this life, but uh, i miss you? and i just feel like i’m losing you and that’s the last thing i want. so you gotta give me something, five star. tell me what i can do to be better.” 

“if you need me to back off, i’ll do it, you know? you call the shots. you tell me what you need from me, and i’ll do it, okay? i just– i can’t lose this. i don’t wanna lose you,” luke mumbled. “maybe this is all in my head too. i don’t know anymore.” 

you shuddered, lip quivering, “i feel like i’m holding you back.” 

“what?” 

“come on, luke,” you flicked away the tear that trickled down your cheek, “you’re out there in the world doing what you love. meeting new people. living your life and i don’t want to hold you back from that. we met each other when i didn’t have all these responsibilities and who i was at camp is not who i am here and i know you love those impromptu adventures and trips and spontaneity. a-and i can’t give that to you.” 

“you deserve someone who can live this life with you and i’m stuck here for two more years, luke. i can’t do that,” it was getting hard to breathe. your throat felt like it was closing up, cutting off your airflow. you’d been putting off this conversation for weeks. it didn’t feel right to talk about this over the phone, and you thought that you had a few more weeks to figure out what to say to him when you saw him for winter break, but he was here now. “you deserve more than facetime calls and text messages, and that’s all i can offer.” 

“is this–” he paused, licking his lips. “is this not what you want anymore?” 

“what?” 

“this, us? is this just not what you want anymore?” 

an involuntary laugh escaped you as you wiped under your eye, “castellan, i don’t think i could stop wanting you even if i wanted to. and you know when we first met, i really wanted to.” 

luke moved closer to you, just an inch or two, trying to gauge your reaction. you didn’t move away, which he took as a good sign, “i’m confused. why do you sound like you want to end this then?” 

“i don’t want you to settle for this,” you sighed, “i know what you deserve and it isn’t this.” 

“bullshit.” 

you furrowed your eyebrows, looking at him in disbelief, “what?” 

“i’m sorry, five star, but that’s bullshit,” a small smile was tugging on his lips. he reached over to place a hand over yours. his fingers traced your knuckles, running the pads of his fingers across the familiar ridges of your skin. “i don’t understand how after all this time you still don’t realize that all i want is you. it’s ridiculous, really.” 

“it’s ridiculous?” 

“it’s ridiculous,” he chuckled wetly. his other hand rubbed at his eyes, clearing his foggy vision. “our situation isn’t ideal, i know that, but i’d take long distance with you over anything else with anyone else. don’t you get it, five star? you’re it for me. if this isn’t what you want anymore, i’ll accept that. but if you’re only doing this because you don’t think i want this… five star, i want it all with you. long distance. phone calls. text messages. weekend trips when we can get them. distance has nothing on how i feel about you.” 

leave it to luke castellan to make you blush. you shyly looked at him, eyes twinkling with something more than either of you bargained for when you first met in that secret spot you call yours, “how do you feel about me?” 

“i’m not gonna say it right now because i don’t want to have the first time be while we’re in a fight,” luke laughed. the air was starting to clear. “but i have a feeling you know.” 

“i know,” you squeezed his hand three times, “i do too.” 

“will you put me out of my misery and kiss me please?” 

“always so fucking dramatic,” you scoffed, playfully rolling your eyes, but you leaned over and pressed your lips to his.

#frances writes #poisoned mercury #luke castellan x reader #luke castellan imagine #luke castellan pjo #luke pjo #luke castellan #luke castellan fanfic #luke castellan x you #luke castellan x yn #luke castellan x y/n

[thoughtfulchaos773]

Syd x Carmy- Music

This has been mentioned a few times but I wanted a compilation of songs and the importance of it in the show.

Senior, the producer concurred. “...But for us, music is part of the world of the show, and it almost would feel disingenuous to be dropping songs that we couldn’t relate to or that didn’t feel like they lived in this world, and only because they were popular for a different reason.”

I find the songs placed in the Carmy-Claire-Syd interesting which is why I put it in the post:

_______________________________________________________

1x05-Impossible Germany by Wilco

This is what love is for

To be out of place

Gorgeous and alone

Face to face

1x06- last train home by John Mayer

read @currymanganese post here.

2x05- can't hardly wait by the replacements

Fak: My first favorite album is Meet Me, which has the greatest high school song ever. "Can't Hardly wait"

I'll write you a letter tomorrow

Tonight, I can't hold a pen

Someone's got a stamp that I can borrow

I promise not to blow the address again

2x08- Throw Your Arms Around Me by Pearl Jam (cover)

and though I disappear from out of view

you know I would never say goodbye

and though I try to forget it

you will make me call your name

as I shout it to the blue summer sky

2x09- Strange Currencies by R.E.M.

These words, you will be mine

These words, you will be mine, all the time

Now fool might be my middle name

But I'd be foolish not to say

Honorable lyrics:

And I don't know what you mean to me

But I want to turn you on

Turn you up, figure you out

I want to take you on

2x09- Come Back by Pearl Jam

If I keep holding out, will the light shine through?

Under this broken roof, it's only rain that I feel

I've been wishing out the days

Oh-oh-oh, come back

I have been planning out all that I'd say to you

Since you slipped away, know that I still remain true

I've been wishing out the days

#the bear fx #the bear #the bear soundtrack #it's interesting if we make this carmy's playlist #it's songs that came out while he was a kid #but he probably heard iR.E.M through mikey #strange currencies def reminded him of claire but now it's syd #sydney and carmy #sydney adamu #carmy x sydney #carmen berzatto #chefs kiss #sydcarmy #carmy berzatto #sydney x carmy #the bear spoilers #the bear 1x05 sheridan #the bear 1x06 ceres #the bear 2x05 pop #the bear 2x09 omlette #thoughtful chaos gifs #thoughtful chaos posts

[pianostarinwonderland]

TWST Valentines Cards 2023

Hell yeah, it's that time of the year again.

Going to make another post keeping record of this year's set of letters. Some cards haven't been found yet, so this post will be updated as I find more cards. If there is an asterisk beside a character's name, that means I only got the text itself but there may be errors and needs to be verified with the picture of the card itself. If any of you have pictures of letters that are either not there or need verification and don't mind showing to anyone, please send to me through DMs!

Since the cards freshly came out and some are still waiting for their own letters, all letters will be posted under the cut!

Riddle Rosehearts

My dear friend— Thank you for the lovely sweets. I'll have them on my study breaks. If they're good, perhaps I'll set them out at a tea party. You'll certainly be invited if I do. After all, there's no rule that states you can't join.

Trey Clover

Hello, friend— Thanks so much for the gift. It was exactly my taste, with just the right amount of sweetness. I can tell you thought a lot about what to get. I'll come up with a recipe based on these sweets sometime. I hope you'll taste test it for me.

Cater Diamond

Eyyy, friendo! Sweets aren't normally my jam, but the ones you picked out were PERF—and they looked great too! You must've put in some WORK picking them out. So, thanks! I'll make sure to do the same for you!

Ace Trappola

Heya, pal— I kinda freaked when I saw you left a present at my door—in a good way! You actually sent me sweets! You could've just given them to me in person, you know. I haven't had any yet, but I'm sure they'll be great! We should share them at lunch tomorrow.

Deuce Spade

My good friend— Thanks for the amazing gift! You got me those mega-popular sweets we just talked about, right? They were so good! It's kind of a shame I ate them all. Have you had any? I guess it'd be weird if I gifted you the same thing, but come shopping with me sometime and we can pick out some sweets for you.

Leona Kingscholar

Hey— You give me SWEETS? I swear, sometimes I don't know what goes through that noggin of yours. I'll be nice and say I appreciate the sentiment...this time. But don't expect any glowing food reviews.

Ruggie Bucchi

Hey, 'sup. I got the sweets you sent! It's always a good day when someone gifts me food. These are supposed to be real popular right now, yeah? They must've been hard to snag. Shyeheehee, that makes them doubly good! Thanks a ton!

Jack Howl

Hi, I was surprised when I smelled something sweet at my door. Consider your present received. I still can't believe you gave me such cutesy-looking sweets. Not that I'm unhappy about it, of course. I actually like candy and stuff. Thanks.

Azul Ashengrotto

My boon companion— Thank you for the heartfelt gift. I suppose I owe it to you to partake of these sweets. Don't worry. Once I've analyzed the flavor, I'll gift you something equally delicious. After all, fair's fair.

Jade Leech

My good friend— You've outdone yourself. Sweets that pair well with black tea? My deepest thanks. I'm flattered that you thought of me so when selecting them. You've inspired me. I'm going to spend my mountain hikes pondering just the right tea blend to suit your palate. I do hope you'll enjoy it.

Floyd Leech

Dear little shrimpy— I saw your present. You got me candy? That rules! I was JUST in the mood for something sweet. I might not be tomorrow though, so I think I'll polish them off today. Thanks.

Kalim Al-Asim

To my dear friend— Thanks for the present! What colorful and sparkly sweets. They look delicious! I just had an idea! How about we eat them together after school? Gifts like this taste better when shared, after all. I'll pick out a good tea to go with them. Can't wait to see you later!

Jamil Viper

Hello— I was surprised to see you gifted me sweets. At first I wondered if you were hinting for me to make you something similar... But when I pulled the gift out of the bag, I saw all the details you put into it, right down to the ribbon. It's clear this was a heartfelt gesture. I'll treasure these treats as I eat them. Thank you.

Vil Schoenheit

Dearest friend— Thank you for the gift. The sweets were dazzling and most attractive. Did you try to imagine what I'd like when picking them out? If so, you made an apt choice. I'll have something for you later in return.

Rook Hunt

Bonjour, and merci beaucoup! What a lovely batch of confections! They’re so darling that I’m tempted to stow them away in a brilliant bejeweled box. Ah, but I jest. I’ll enjoy every morsel of this gift you’ve so thoughtfully bestowed upon me.

Epel Felmier

Dear friend— Thanks for the gift! Sweets from the city have a real fancy vibe, don't they? I'll savor every bite. I know this isn't exactly a gift, but I just scored some coupons for the cafeteria. Wanna join me for lunch tomorrow? Just wait for me, and I'll find you!

Idia Shroud

@YOU huh? What the wha? im low-key scared here why would u give me sweets??? ig that sometimes i run low on sugar when ive been gaming too long and my aim becomes trash... ok sure, if this is ur way of looking out for me, ill take it

Ortho Shroud

Hello, Prefect― Thanks for the present! The sweets were very charming and cute, not to mention colorful. What neat designs! I'll make sure to save this as a special memory. I've run the data on their base ingredients, and hope to gift you some fitting sweets in return soon.

Malleus Draconia

To my dear friend— Thank you. Never did I envision someone presenting me with the gift of sweet treats. It would be a shame for me to eat them all by myself. I think I'll share them with you. Would you be willing to provide the tea to go with them?

Lilia Vanrouge

Greetings! Your present was delightful. The treats had a subtle sweetness that was perfect for a slightly mature fae like myself. I'll be making you a lovely treat in return, using a very special recipe of mine. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Silver

Salutations— Thanks for the gift. I read once that sugar can boost your concentration. Did you give me these to snack on when I'm about to nod off during my studies? That was very considerate of you. I think I'll try them out today.

Sebek Zigvolt

Human— I've received your gift. It was agreeably sweet. In fact, it might've been sweet enough to make black coffee bearable... But I digress. Regardless, I was somewhat impressed with your choice. You have my thanks.

Grim

Dear hench-human— Mraaah! Is this ALL for me?! I've never seen such sparkly, yummy-lookin' candy before! I feel like a king! But I'd feel bad leavin' you out of this sugar extravaganza, so I GUESS you can have a small piece. I'm lookin' forward to more gifts, partner!

Dire Crowley

Dear esteemed student— Thank you for the delicious gift. And don’t bother telling me I was supposed to share it—I’ve already finished the whole package! If you wish for the staff to also partake, I suggest you acquire more treats. But don’t worry, I won’t say a word if you give the same gift twice. I’m kindhearted like that!

Divus Crewel

Dear pup— Is this a gift for the staff? Excellent. Now that I have some treats to sweeten my breaks, I'll be able to grade your exams with a much more critical eye. I can see the grimace on your face now. Relax, it was a joke. It's usually frowned upon for dogs to be the ones buying gifts, but since you're such a loyal pup, I'll let you off. I'm a generous trainer, after all.

Mozus Trein

Dear juvenile— I must wonder why you decided to get me a present. Is this your way of thanking me for my lecture the other day? If so, gifts are hardly necessary. It's a teacher's job to educate students with a thirst for knowledge. I can't accept any offerings from students, but the sentiment is much appreciated. I expect nothing but excellence from you moving forward.

Ashton Vargas

Dear student— Thanks for the present! Excessive sugar is a no-go when building a beautiful bod, but it'd be bad form to let your thoughtful gesture go to waste. Such is the price of popularity. I'll just have to accept that and work off everything I eat. Keep up those reps!

Sam

Yo, little imp! What is UP? Thanks so much for the gift! You've got a real eye for quality. I'll make sure to stock up on goods that'll pique your interest, so swing by the shop soon!

#twisted wonderland #twst #heartslabyul #savanaclaw #octavinelle #scarabia #pomefiore #ignihyde #diasomnia

[cornyonmains]

There's a very real possibility that KinnPorsche could have just obliterated audience interest in BL at its current standard. From what I've been reading, things like metadata and analytics are showing plummeting interest in BL at its current standard, with almost no eyes coming across posts that don't have a KP hashtag on it. And it seems sponsors are seeing pretty big returns as well. That Royal Farmhouse bread from episode 8 sold out lmao.

What I'm saying is BOC walked in the door with almost no experience and made a BL that slapped so hard, it's looking like it's going to reset the entire industry. KP is making audiences laugh at other BL's. And you know what? Good.

I'm tired of bad acting, I'm tired of waiting an entire season to watch two tragically heterosexual actors have a dead fish kiss, I'm tired of the industry's refusal to hire queer talent, when it could be a real boon in a country like Thailand, where men are flat out too homophobic to portray these roles convincingly, I'm tired of college campuses, of the same story told a thousand times with new characters, and studios hiring actors so bad they have to change the cast in the second season. I'm tired of this industry turning queer people into a joke. It's why I only rolled my eyes at Build's stupid-ass Tweets. Because I know why I think he didn't delete them, and I think there's a lot of savvy audience members who have reason to know as well. That's all I'll say on that.

I think it's important that audiences show their financial support in any way they can, even if it's just the act of enabling ads on BOC's Youtube channel. The thing about me is that I don't like BL. I've maybe sat through six in their entirety, despite the vast catalog of these things that exist, because as a queer viewer, I just can't stomach the straight girl bullshit they're on with these yaoi tropes, if I can be blunt. I don't mind sexy in these shows. The queer community is infinitely more sexual than the straight one, because we don't have all those heteronormative hang-ups regarding sex. If straight girls wanna sex that shit up, I say let your freak flags fly. We stan sex positivity in this house.

That being said, I'm pushing 40. I grew up during the time when LGBTQ+ content wasn't simply getting made. Xena gave lesbians a few drops of Sapphic subtext 20 years ago and they're still driving Subarus. That's how thirsty people were for queer content in my day. That's my primary motivation. I just want good art merged with queer content and BL is the first genre I've ever encountered where there's a chance I can have that in meaningful amounts. We don't even have that here in America. Just look at the CW, an ostensibly queer friendly network, and what it did with Destiel. Malex, the most popular ship on the train wreck that is Roswell, New Mexico, got a literally 3 second sex scene, while straight girls got to ride their men like rodeo bulls. I want BL to do better.

I'm damn near willing to empty my bank account tomorrow and just give it all to BOC for what they've done. No matter how you feel about this show, it's going to change the face of BL, and I can't fucking wait.

#kinnporsche #vegaspete #kimchay #thai bl #kinnporsche the series #bible sumettikul #build jakapan #mile phakphum #apo nattawin #jeff satur #barcode tinnasit #I took second place in the city wide spelling bee as a kid and still can't remember how to spell these damn names #Thailand has my respect for this

[bontenten]

good girl

Pairing: Itoshi Sae x f!reader WC: 2k Tags/Warning: eating disorders, throw-up, yandere, manipulation, body-shaming, degradation, humiliation, drugs, pregnancy mention, eating disorders

a/n: read the tags, not my problem otherwise. :looksaway: anyways, fun fact, football/soccer is so insanely popular on instagram. ronaldo is the most followed account with 579M (the only individual to pass 500M, the other is the ig account), closely followed by messi with 457M. 2 football clubs and 2 other football athletes-ish are also on the top 50 list. i was genuinely amazed?

Happiness is sharing that meal with the man you love the most, global football star, Itoshi Sae. After so many years of hard work, Sae is finally the star mid-fielder for FC Barcha. He has so many commercial gigs, sponsorships, and invitations to special events and dinners. With Sae, you have tasted things beyond your wildest dreams. You cannot imagine a better version of your life than the one right now, next to him. 

It's glamor and perfection for a little while. One day, the news headline flashes "Itoshi Rin: Star Striker of Bastard München". That day, you see a new, unfamiliar expression on Sae's face. You don't have a word for it, but you can describe it as a peculiar mix of pride and disgust. But he's the only one you'll ever look at. The best in the world, to you forever. You think it's enough. 

Rin's debut in the global football scene is hailed as the birth of a genius and superstar. The same talk shows, magazines, and brands suddenly flock over to the younger Itoshi. And for the first time, since Sae has joined FC Barcha, the team walks away from the World Cup, defeated. The journalists sensationalized the entire match. The most circulated photo is none other than Rin mid-air about to send the final point into the goal. 

A week later, Itoshi Sae is no longer the most followed individual on Instagram. He's overtaken by Itoshi Rin, with over 600 million followers in a feat that has only been achieved by the platform's own page. Sae never seemed to care about details like that, since he rarely ever posts to his page. It's usually managed by a special team instead. But you find Sae looking at Rin's page, focused on a photo of Rin and a gorgeous woman pressed tightly to him,  a popular gravure idol now better known as Rin's girlfriend. You will never forget the scrutinizing look he gives you that evening.

The comments about your body and eating habits started crawling in. You don't realize it at first, thinking that of course, Sae would know more about gastronomy than you. He's been to so many more places than you and seen so many things. He's always careful with his food too, as an athlete. 

--

You kiss him back, eagerly guiding his hand toward the waistline of your panties. Sae rests his hands on your hip and stops.

"You've put on weight," he comments bluntly.

You're a bit confused and still a bit excited.

"M-Maybe. I'm getting my period soon, so I might be a bit bloated," you stammered. Seeing Sae's uninterested expression, you cross your arms to hide your body. "I'll run sometime this week, all good."

Sae ignores your suggestion and leans back against the headboard. "Did you take the tablets I got for you?"

You think back to the large capsules in the jar that you're supposed to take twice a day. "Oh, I forgot. I'll just take it tomorrow," you tell him, not wanting to travel all the way downstairs so late at night.

Sae groans and gets up. A moment later he returns with a glass of water. "Here, I went to get it for you. You have to take it on time every day."

He offers you three pills in his palm and you take one, except he gestures for you to take more. 

You look at him cautiously. "I think...I'm only supposed to take one."

A loud sigh escapes him. "But you keep forgetting, so just in case. It's fine. You won't overdose. They're like vitamins." 

"Okay." You swallow pill after pill after pill.

Sae smiles and presses a kiss on your forehead. "Good girl, let's go to bed now."

--  

A month after taking those pills, you notice your tastebuds drastically changing. Everything you eat tastes like ashes. For most meals, you try to swallow a few bites, but they go down like sandpaper. And then everything is heaved out not too long afterward.

Sae is with you each time, giving you encouragement and comforting you. He gives you water to rinse out your mouth. He tells you that you feel better now that extra waste is cleared. It's funny that the first time you threw up, you thought you were pregnant. And had the same thought the second time your period was late. 

Your period isn't late. It's just gone.

Your wardrobe also transforms. Sae brings back so many gifts often, filling your closet with designer outfits. You recognize a couple of the brands. You've seen the photoshoots of Rin and his girlfriend. He asks you if you want to try them on. You should have realized that Sae doesn't spend his time playing dress-up with you. 

"Do they have another size, Sae?" you ask nervously, trying to suck in your core as tight as possible.

You see him wrap his arms around you in the mirror, face resting in the crook of your neck. He shakes his head. "I can't take back something I bought already. Do you still like the styles?"

You give him a weak smile and concede. "Yea, they're pretty."

"Good. You look good in them," Sae whispers low in your ears. "Just have to lose a bit more. One day you'll fit them just perfectly."

Sae tells you how important it is to have a goal in mind and always focus on the big picture. And that he'll help you. Always.

--

More weeks pass by. You can't sleep at night anymore. Your feet are just always so cold, nothing you wear or do can warm it up at all. And you're so hungry, your sense of smell is so heightened that the air is palpable. The faintest trace of something has your mouth watering. After checking that the man next to you is sleeping soundly, you carefully tip-toe down the hall, avoiding the floorboard spots that will creak. It's a laborious feat when you also have a  sprained ankle.

In the darkness of 3 A.M., you find heaven and bliss. You grab at the frozen foods but pause at the thought of turning on the stove or oven. Sae will wake up. You spot a single ice cream popsicle left in the box. It's from the last time Rin visited. Expired, but it'll do. Sae won't pay attention to it. It won't hurt. You rip off the packaging savoringly the sweetness and cold tingles that seem to bring life back into your body. For the first time, something doesn't taste like chalk. Stay quiet, Sae will wake up. 

"What do you think you're doing?"

Your eyes flick toward the direction of the voice where a dark figure is leaning against the wall. Sae is up. Each step adds to the lump in your throat. The ghostly fridge light illuminates part of him gradually until the displeasure that's written across his face is revealed. Tears began to prickle in your eyes and stream down.

"S-Sae, I'm—I'm so hungry," you sobbed, curling into a ball. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"Shhh," Sae coos, using his thumb to swipe your tear away. You're still apologizing between each breath when he wipes the edges of your mouth that are smeared with ice cream. "I know, baby, I know. I know it's hard."

Sae never raises his voice at you. He's always so gentle and extra affectionate in moments of your vulnerability. He reaches for the ice cream pop you're gripping in your hand and takes it from your grasp. He licks the melting trail and finishes the treat in a couple of bites. You don't dare to look at the wooden stick that is the reminder of your late-night exploit. You wish you ate a bit faster.

Sae crouches to your level and waves the little stick in front of your face. "You're not a child. Snooping around late at night for things you know you're not supposed to eat? It's bad for you. Sweets have to be earned."

"Yes, I know," you whisper, ashamed, eyes fixated on the square tiled floors.You hear fabric rustling and soon bright light shines in your eyes. You see the latest picture of Rin and his girlfriend at the beach.

"It's tough love, but take a good look at her." Sae scrolls through a couple of their latest photos. "Look how skinny and sexy she is. See that collarbone? You can drink out of that. Now look at you."

His comments shatter you and you begin to sob. He stands up and continues, "If I wanted just any slutty bitch, I would have ten in my arms right now."

You know he is right. Women fawn over him whenever the two of you go out. At events or just on the streets. Even without his reputation as a football icon, Sae is a gorgeous man. 

You don't have anything left after meeting Sae. Your family and friends are left behind. Your schooling and your job are all set aside. If he doesn't want you anymore, what are you even worth? You panic. "I know Sae. I'm sorry, I'll do better. I swear." 

You really mean it, truly. You feel terrible. 

Sae’s voice softens. "You know why I still choose you out of all of the girls?"

You shake your head.

"Look at me."

You don't move.

"Look at me, baby."

He lifts your chin and your eyes fix on him. His teal eyes seem to glow.

"Because you're a good girl," he says firmly. So assured like it's the most obvious truth in the world. "You're a good girl, yes?"

You nod shakily. 

"You have to look good, so I also look good, understand? Say something." 

You nod again, biting back the tears that are trying to spill. But you manage to choke out a quiet 'yes'.

"When I'm good, we're," he gestures at the space between the two of you, "good. So, don't ruin this for us."

He hands you the popsicle stick. "If you make a mistake, you have to fix it. Then you have to learn from it. It's the same thing as football. I know it's hard, but I also know you can do it. Prove me right."

You crawl up to your feet and prepare to make your way to the bathroom. Except Sae stops you. "Do it here. You made your mistake here."

You take a deep breath and open your mouth. You take two fingers and try to reach the back of your throat. It's the first time you try to induce your gag reflex by yourself. Usually, you just throw up on time or Sae helps. You look towards Sae. He motions at the popsicle stick. So, you try again. This time, the birchwood presses on your tongue.

"That's it," he encourages, "keep going."

You feel the lurch. It comes in dry, just a wave of nausea. You stick the stick a bit deeper in your throat. This time the reaction is a bit more visceral. A few violent gurgles later, acidic cream spills out and splatters onto the floor. You hurl a few more times, just pure bile and some unidentifiable remnants of something. Tears blur your vision and the inside of your nostrils burn. 

"Now clean it up and think about what you did wrong."

You scramble up and limp over to kitchen towels to wipe up your mess.

"I...shouldn't have snuck out at night to...eat ice cream," you confess out loud. "I shouldn't have...eaten..."

"Good job," Sae compliments you, taking the soiled towels from you to throw away and handing you a glass of water and a capsule. "Now you'll never forget. Lessons are only useful if you'll get something out of them. I can see the change in you already."

This is the warm Sae that you love. His smile brings so much joy to you, especially when he is smiling because of you. You sip on the water, expertly swallowing the pill, and nod eagerly. "I'll lose more, Sae. I'll look pretty for you."

Sae smiles and pokes your cheeks. "That's my girl. It's for your own good too, you'll look very pretty when you can fit in the dresses I buy for you."

You bury the thoughts about the sharp pain in your chest and dull ache in your ankles. All that matter is Sae and his love for you. You can lose everything and anything but that.

#yandere blue lock #yandere sae #yandere blue lock x reader #yandere sae x reader #tw drugs #tw eating disorders #emi.freshtea #🍵.sae #tw yandere

[front-facing-pokemon]

I just found this blog so I'm jumping aboard the plushie bandwagon.

First we got Absol. (i feel like maybe i should've taken a closer-up picture but it's the face sooo)

Then a Wooloo

And, saving best for last, this Leafeon plush I own... of which I swear on my life is official merch.

I also have some more eeveelutions (plus an eevee and a few more) but: 1. I didn't want to send too many. 2. Eeveelutions are more popular so I wanted to give some other people the chance to submit their own. 3. I don't know where my Pikachu and Snivy plushies are cuz I own too many stuffed animals.

Only reason I submitted Leafeon was so I could show off this ~masterpiece~ of a plushie I own. And it's face isn't the only thing wrong with it too lol. Also I just noticed I accidentally had one of the ears hanging back but I'm too lazy to go take another photo but i hope this amuses you nonetheless.

ALRIGHT THERE'S BEEN A LOT OF YOU AS I'VE BEEN OUT WITH MY FAMILY FOR CHRISTMAS HUH

let's start with these guys. beautiful. wonderful. i do not believe that that leafeon is official merch. this statement is baffling to me. welcome to the front-facing pokémon family. i love the eyes on that absol and wooloo is one of my faves. i was rather obsessed with it when it first came out and have a whole wooloo tag on my main blog because of it. though i guess i cleared that whole thing out recently so i don't anymore

let's get the nose ratings out of the way:

↑ this is a lie. 10/10 chespin

it's very wide and also 10/10 you're being too harsh. merry day to you too

circular face indeed. did i already post this one? if i did you can have it again

clodsire be upon ye. clodsire fans this is your treat until gen 9

this is a trend now. i think tumblr just crunched this image to hell for some reason so here's what the text says:

"Felt like joining the others for front facing pokeplushies [images] I have more pokemon but its early morning and these are the plushies that are easy to access"

i have not but i imagine "a moment" has long passed by now. my apologies but apparently today was an important day or something? idk

YEAH it's super unbelievably fucked up. i think i kinda remember the circumstance being a bit dire so everyone else was more worried about either 1. protagonist getting stomped on brutally or 2. saving the world from kyurem / the bittercold. i was totally under the impression that he was dead in that moment but i guess the characters may have known that he would just come back? i seem to vaguely remember partner being surprised that he came back and being like "but we watched you die :OOO" but maybe i'm misremembering that. i do create a lot of pmd lore on my own time so i have a hard time telling the difference between canon and fanon sometimes

two a day makes the world go round! this blog started when i started college, paused for 80% of my college career and now has started back up and i just graduated college a week ago. i would say "how time flies" but it has been a very, very long year

i've said it before and i'll say it again: gen 6 is my favorite gen, so you'll be seeing lots of favor for this gen from me in the tags i'm sure. maybe gen 6 is my excuse to start doing other things here. like that stream i keep talking about

if they put meloetta as a little obscure puzzle thang in sv, i'm sure they'll do something for genesect. i hope. at least for keldeo probably. genesect i'm not sure is very popular, unfortunately, outside of the tumblr crowd. if the general public's opinion on genesect is favorable, then maybe

okay and then i tried to scroll down further in my screenshots for more asks and saw the wobbly will smith in a hospital bed Gimme a Hug, Man that i copied from the "i get a little bit genghis kanghis" post so that's it. to everyone who christmases: merry it. it is today. although it's basically over by now so! merry boxing day for tomorrow if i don't say anything tomorrow. but i probably will. now i'm gonna go queue up today's 'mons because i haven't done it yet today. see you all in a few weeks when those post

#gti spoilers #under the cut. don't look if you haven't played it it's an amazing game #not pkmn #nose ratings #about to queue up gogoat and pancham so be ready for those in a while

[allora1233]

𝕁𝕖𝕒𝕝𝕠𝕦𝕤𝕪: ℕ𝕒𝕞𝕛𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕩 ℝ𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣

𝔽𝕝𝕦𝕗𝕗

ℕ𝕒𝕞𝕛𝕠𝕠𝕟 𝕚𝕟𝕧𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕤 𝕐/ℕ 𝕥𝕠 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕘 𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕘𝕦𝕪𝕤 𝕨𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕖 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕚𝕣 𝕣𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟𝕤𝕙𝕚𝕡 𝕒 𝕤𝕖𝕔𝕣𝕖𝕥.

Word Count: 2.4k

"Come oooon Y/n, it'll be fun! Just a small hang out sesh. No cameras, none of that. All the guys will be there. I promise you're gonna love it!" 

You sighed softly, pinching the bridge of your nose as you listened to probably the 5th plea today from your boyfriend, Kim Namjoon. The two of you have been dating for about 5 months now, but since he was in such a popular music group, you two decided to keep your relationship a secret. You never told anyone, even the friends he was in the band with, and you were honestly okay with keeping it that way for a little while longer. However, Namjoon couldn't be more of the opposite.

Namjoon cherishes his friends almost as much as he cherishes you. He is very proud of what they've become since they first got together. They are basically his second family. It would be an absolute dream for him to see his best friends and the love of his life meet each other and get along. Not to mention that he takes great pride in you and would show you off to the entire world if he could. You know this almost as much as he does.

Truthfully, the problem for you wasn't that you wouldn't like them or a fear of getting found out. Namjoon has already told you plenty of stories about them, and the videos they post online of their daily life pretty much confirm that you'd love to hang out with them. You were more afraid of the possibility that the others wouldn't like you. You've heard all about the infamous "V Test" and you had a strong feeling you wouldn't pass that, or the other guys' judgment tests for that matter.

"Joon, please. I'm really not sure if I want the others to know I'm your significant other yet. I know how much they mean to you, and I don't want to intrude... especially if they don't approve of me. Besides, what if someone outside of them sees us? As much as I love your fans, you know how some of them can get. I don't want to put either of us, or the guys, in that kind of situation..."

Your boyfriend was quick to silence your concerns with his reassurance. "I understand baby, I really do, but no one will know. I promise I'll do everything in my power to make sure no one recognizes either of us before we get there. I know plenty of tricks to get us there safely. Furthermore, I'm not asking you to tell the guys who you are to me. We can just say we're friends. But I really just want you to meet them at least. They're really cool and they'll love you, trust me."

Namjoon gently takes your hand in his, lifting it up to press soft kisses to your knuckles. You couldn't help but melt a little at his tender touch. He looks back up at you and smiles. "At least think about it, okay? If you still don't want to when I leave tomorrow then I'll drop it." Even though you knew it would mean the world to him if you tagged along, you were still very grateful that he was also willing to wait until you were ready. You nod, returning the smile. "I will. Thank you."

And indeed you did. It kept you up a little later than you usually would stay up, outweighing the pros and cons of finally going out and introducing yourself to Namjoon's friends. After a long night, you turn over and cuddle close to the already asleep popstar, finally finding yourself drifting off to sleep content with your decision.

- - -

"I'll go."

The way Namjoon's face lights up at your words makes you feel even more sure of your decision. You'd have to meet his friends eventually, right? So just go for it. Besides, as long as you were with him, you knew everything would be okay.

Your boyfriend wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in a tight hug from behind as you finish making your breakfast. "Thank you baby. I promise you won't regret this. But if you do ever want to go home, just tell me and I'll take you back, okay?" You nod as he pecks a few chaste kisses against your cheek, which elicits a giggle out of you. After the two of you finished your breakfast and got dressed for the day, you both head out to a studio where you were meeting today. Apparently it belonged to one of his friends, Yoongi if you remember right.

You were a little nervous, and even though Namjoon texted the guys ahead of time and told them he'd bring a guest with him, you couldn't help but gently squeeze his hand anxiously. He looks down at you and offers you a gentle smile, one that helps you ground yourself before you spiral down a path of anxiety. It doesn't take much longer before the two of you are standing in the building of the studio.

After going up a level of stairs and down a hallway, you find yourself in front of a door. "Min Yoongi" was on a plaque that hung on the door. You turn to Namjoon, who looks around the hallway to make sure the coast is clear before giving you a quick, reassuring kiss. It definitely helps. After taking one deep breath, you open the door and walk in.

- - -

Out of everyone you met, the one person you definitely hit it off with was Jin. The two of you had been talking since the moment you walked in. Admittedly, it was partially due to the fact that during your viewings of the Run BTS episodes, you knew for a fact that you wanted to talk to Jin. The way he tries to keep respect because he's the oldest while also being one of the most childish people in the group was absolutely adorable and hilarious. Which, in its own way, is funny considering how much of a parental figure he really is to the rest of them, especially the three youngest. And it really seemed like he enjoyed your company too. Not like everyone else didn't, in fact, they were all really sweet and funny guys.

It has been a couple hours now since you arrived. You and Jin were practically attached at the hip, joking about anything with the others, making fun of the guys when they do something stupid, and just generally having a good time. It was such a relief that they made you feel comfortable. It didn’t feel like you had hijacked their group and added yourself in; you are a part of the group now. And Jin was especially accommodating.

After a while of hanging, you were getting a little hungry. Jin notices you staring at the empty candy bowl on the table for just a little bit too long. “You alright? Do you need anything to eat?” You look up at him and smile. “Oh, yeah. That would be nice. Thank you.” Jin smiles and gets up to grab you some snacks. In that moment by yourself, you decide to check up on your boyfriend. You didn't mean to go this long without saying something to him, but things just turned out that way. As you looked over to him, you noticed that he looked a little off. Namjoon was slightly slouched in his chair, arms folded over his chest as he listened in on Yoongi and Jimin's conversation, the corners of his pretty lips turned down into a frown.

Before you could catch his attention and ask him if he was alright, Jin came back from the kitchen with a nice assortment of snacks, sitting back down next to you. “Thanks, Jin.” You reach out to the table and grab one of the snack bars. Jin nods as he leans back on the couch. "So, how long have you and Joon known each other? We usually know most of the other guy's outside friends and we've never heard from you before."

"Yeah, well we only met a couple months ago. I guess that it just never came up. But he invited me to come out here today, and I'm very thankful that you guys have seemed to accept me into your group." Jin smiles and runs a hand through his hair, fixing the stray strands. "You're a really amazing person Y/n, of course we'd let you hang out! I'm glad he brought you. It's no wonder you and Namjoon became friends. Hopefully we can all get to know you as well as he does." You couldn't help but laugh a little under your breath, knowing no one was gonna know you as well as Namjoon does. "I'm glad you feel that way. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with you guys more, if that's okay." 

"Of course that's okay! I love having you around, and I'm sure the others do too. You make a very nice addition to our little group. Your personality really lights up the room and you're nice to talk to, not to mention you're easy on the eyes." He winks. You laugh, pushing Jin's shoulder who simply laughs along with you.

"Dork! Flattery will get you nowhere. Not that I don't appreciate it." Jin shrugs, a knowing smirk on his lips. A loud groan grabs the attention of both of you, looking up at a clearly amused Jimin. "Get a room! Some of us want to talk in peace." He jokes as he shoves Jin to you, causing him to lose his balance and land with his head on your lap. More laughter erupts from the two of you as you roll your eyes and turn your head away from the others.

It was only at that moment that you actually got to steal a glance at Namjoon again. It didn't take a genius to realize that he wasn’t happy, except, you have never seen that kind of expression on his face before. You could see him biting the inside of his cheek and the line forming between his furrowed brows. He looks... bitter? No, no it's not that. More like he’s spiteful about something. Like he's trying to bite his tongue and keep himself composed, but the way he keeps clenching and relaxing his fists clearly shows otherwise.

He sees you looking at him, obviously confused by his demeanor, and simply rolls his eyes. He stands up and calmly walks out of the room. Honestly, that hurt you a little bit. He's never acted like this before, especially not towards you. You look around at the others, but no one seems to have noticed Namjoon’s exit nor how upset he seems to be. Without thinking, you gently lift Jin's head from your lap and get up off the couch to follow Namjoon outside the room, granting you some eyebrow raise from the others, especially Jin.

You walk out into the hallway, looking around before noticing your boyfriend leaning against the wall around the corner, back facing towards you. Cautiously, you walk up to him, keeping your voice quiet so as to not startle him. "Joon..? Hey, what's wrong? Why'd you leave-" Before you could finish your sentence, Namjoon turns around and quickly pulls you into a deep kiss. You squeak, not quite expecting the sudden affection. Before you could do anything in response, he pulled away, resting his forehead against your shoulder.

"Sorry, I just really needed that right now." You wrap your arms around him, gently playing with his hair. "Hey, it's okay honey. I’m just worried about you... Can you tell me what you're so upset about?" Your boyfriend looks up at you dumbfounded. "You really don't know...? You didn't see it?" You shake your head, brows furrowed in confusion. Namjoon shakes his head and lets out a breathy laugh, almost like he was relieved. "Jin's been flirting with you all day." It takes you a second to process what he said before you feel your face heat up in realization.

"What..? No, no he was just being nice. I just thought he was like that with everyone... Are you sure?" Namjoon laughs again before gently kissing your forehead. "Yes baby, I'm positive. Everyone saw it." You bury your face in your boyfriend's chest, hiding your shame. The fact that all of it went over your head made you feel like an idiot. "Oh my God, I'm so fucking stupid..."

"No, no you're not. And actually, I'm glad you didn't notice. It makes me feel a bit better." Now it was your turn to look up at him bewildered. "Why would that make you feel better?" 

"Uh... I may or may not have gotten a little jealous of you two." As soon as he says that, all the little dots slowly start connecting in your mind. "Really?" Namjoon sighs softly and rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, and I really started to get frustrated at everything and myself. I didn't know I could feel that way, but I guess I'm just a protective person. Especially when it comes to you, baby. I'll do absolutely anything for you and to make you happy and keep you close to me." You couldn't help but smile at that last part. "And I was also mad at myself because I knew it wasn't yours or Jin's fault. It's not like we told anyone about us so I can't blame him for hitting on you, I'd do the same if we weren't already together. And I know you’d never do something like that to me. I just didn't like feeling angry at one of my best friends... I'm sorry. I was the one who said everything would be okay and now I'm messing things up."

You smile, gently wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down for another soft kiss to let him know that everything was okay now. "So, that's why you were upset when you left, hmm?" Namjoon looks up at you and nods. "And is that why you kissed me like that when I followed you out here?" You tease, finding the whole situation quite amusing. He nods again, this time a little more sheepishly.

You coo at your boyfriend's embarrassment, leaning up and kissing his cheek. "You’re too cute. If you wanted a moment all to ourselves, you could have just asked honey.~" You wink, very satisfied with the flustered reaction you got. It wasn't hard to see the rose color that bloomed up on his cheeks, and his sudden speechlessness always made you giggle. You gently grab his hand and squeeze it, bringing him back down to Earth. "Come on, let's go back. We can't keep everyone waiting forever."

Tag list: @starstruckfangirls @parkdatjimin @twendou

Lemme know if you want to be added

#bts #bts hyung line #bts rm #rm #rap monster #bts rap monster #namjoon #bts namjoon #kim namjoon #imagine #bts imagines #bts x reader #bts x y/n #namjoon x reader #namjoon x y/n #rm x reader #rm x y/n #namjoon x you #rm x you #bts fic #namjoon fic #jealousy #kim namjoon fic #kim namjoon x reader #kim namjoon x you #kim namjoon x y/n #allora✿works

[plutoswritingplanet]

And I'll Be Like Sugar (Silco x Female!Reader)

a/n: slowly but surely i'm migrating all my works from ao3 on here. this one's a bit old, back when Arcane was super popular and there wasn't as much Silco content out there. Cross-posted on AO3

Warnings: tender Silco (but not like, too tender), mentions of blood and violence, imbalance of power but not really, Silco's touch starved, s-m-u-t

Summary: After a job-gone-kinda-wrong, you get a visit from the Devil himself.

Your heavy boots are splashing the drain water with every step, as you fly through the Alleys, the shadow of pursuit hanging over you like a dark cloud. There is a small scroll in your hand, paper crumbled by your deathly grip. Inside is the key to a new Shimmer shipment, all the places, all the dates, straight up treasure. If you play your cards right, you could help your gang lift up higher from the ground, maybe enough to feel the sun on their fingertips. 

The entrance to your lair is right in front of you, but instead you turn right, into a small back alley. You jump through a stinking cloud of pollution, remembering to hold your breath, as you immediately duck under some boards. 

You crawl right to an entrance to the drain, kicking it up, before jumping towards a ladder. You can never be too careful, especially since the person you stole from was quite literally the most powerful man in the whole Underside, hell even on the top he was quite revered.

So powerful, in fact, that he couldn't comprehend the fact, that anyone would be so dumb, as to try and steal from him. And yet here you were, the biggest idiot on the face of the earth, currently jumping from roof to roof. The air is much thinner up here, easier to breathe. The familiar roof of your lair is getting closer, an open window upstairs awaits your arrival. For good measure, you throw a quick look behind, seeing nothing but empty rooftops. That finally soothes your worry, and you dive inside, feet first, landing on a dusty mat that has been moved under the window. 

The place is warm inside, heat enveloping you almost instantly. Downstairs, you can hear your people chatting amongst the muted sounds of music. Shrugging off your coat and a scarf, you make the short treck to your office. Swinging the door open, you go straight to your desk, hiding the scroll in one of the drawers. 

- Silco knows - a heavy voice of your right hand, Solomon, startles you.

He's standing there, leaning on the door frame, a deep frown settled on his features. Before you took over the organization, his scrutinizing gaze used to make your palms sweat with stress. Now, after years of working together, you've developed a mutual sense of respect. 

- Knows what? - you ask incredulously, throwing a tired look over your arm.

This job has taken all your strength, rolled it up neatly and then chucked it down the drain. There was a throbbing pain beginning to bloom deep inside your skull, and you felt a familiar burn in your legs from pushing your body to its limits. You are going to be barely alive tomorrow, and quite possibly, you won't be able to move in the morning. Your bed is right there, behind a heavy curtain, and you feel a sudden need to plop down onto it.

- This isn't a joke, Y/N - Solomon sounds concerned, which in turn makes you concerned. 

He's the most stern out of the entire gang, rarely showing any emotion, which is why, you turn to face him fully.

- He's probably already on his way here - Solomon takes a few steps inside the office, his heavy boots making the floorboards creak. - I don't know, what kind of agreement you two have, and frankly, I don't want to know. But this? - he motions to the drawer with an offended gesture - This is too much.

God, you should've locked the door behind you, that way you could at least pretend you're not here to answer all of that. Instead, you take a deep breath, pressing your pointer and middle finger to the bridge of your nose. 

- It's just some shipment plans, he won't even notice the loss - your voice is calm and monotonous, like you're explaining the most mundane of things - I doubt he would treat it so personally, at most, he'll send one of his goons, and those I can deal with. No problemo.

Solomon doesn't look too convinced. He opens his lips to speak, but is promptly interrupted, as a scrawny looking kid barges into the office. He's barely standing on two legs, breathing heavily. When he looks up at you, you almost fall back at the panicked expression on his young face.

- Silco is coming here - he finally wheezes out, the words filling the room, soaking into the walls, the floor - I saw his men two streets away.

Fuck.

- Hide everything he doesn't know about, tell men to scram and not to engage - your decision is almost instant, leader skills coming to the forefront. - Bring him straight to my office, I'll deal with him myself... And don't look nervous, we did nothing wrong. 

That's a fat fucking lie, you did several things wrong, starting with stealing from the damned man.

The boy nods and bolts out of the room, his high-pitched voice carrying through the corridors. Downstairs, you can hear your men run around, sounds of crates dragging on the floor make you wince. Solomon looks at you with a typical "I told you so" expression.

- It's all your fault, by the way - you stand in front of your desk with your hands crossed in front of your chest.

- My fault? How exactly is this my fault?

- Yeah, you spoke of the Devil.

The next ten minutes are filled with silent tension. You sit down behind your desk, hand subconsciously close to the treasure drawer, the other one supporting your chin. You look harmless enough, with tired eyes and disheveled hair. Hunched figure hanging over a bunch of papers. Old shipments you've dug out of some boxes. 

Flour, eggs, clean water. Innocent enough.

Your heart starts jumping in rythmn as the sound of boots clicking on the floorboards fills the office. At this point you're able to recognize him by his footsteps alone. A confident walk of a man secure in his power. Before he enters, you manage to take one, calming breath, exhaling it in time with the creaking of the door to your office. 

It's silent for a moment too long, and slowly, you drag your eyes up from the papers.

He's angry. You can tell by the evil glint in his dark eye, a terrifying image, but one you've seen quite often back in the day. You can deal with angry. Like always.

- Silco - your voice carries a steady, calm tune - What brings you here?

He's looking at you from above, somehow seeming even taller than you remember. Can men his age even grow? Probably not, must be the light. Or your nerves, which are currently wracking you from the inside. 

- Don't play coy with me - he seethes through his slightly crooked teeth, something that makes him look even more intimidating, if it's possible.

You open your mouth to shoot something clever his way, but the thoughts dies down as quickly as it arrives.

- I said don't - there is a bark to his voice you didn't expect.

One of his eyebrows twitches slightly, and finally it downs on you.

He's not just angry, he's beyond furious.

You've dealt with furious significantly less than angry. 

- Silco - you try with a gentler voice - It's nothing, you know it's nothing.

Wrong move. His evil eye gleams in the darkened room, a snarl settling on his lips as he takes two long steps towards your desk, nearly colliding with it. The pace at which he came at you makes you instantly recline back in your chair. 

- It's not fucking nothing - his slim figure leans over the desk, sharp fingers dragging over the mahogany wood - We've lost a whole shipment yesterday, three weeks of work went to shit.

His voice is quiet, barely above a whisper and it makes the hair at the back of your neck stand right up. He's close, you can feel anger coming off of him in waves, invading your space in an intimidating aura. For such a lean person, he can be surprisingly nightmarish. 

- I will not loose my product again, not one barrel.

- You won't exactly loose it - against all reason, the words leave your mouth, stunning him into silence - To loose something, you must be oblivious as to where it is. And you'll know where your one barrel...

The word "barrel" doesn't even fully leave your lips, before Silco collides his fist with the desk. You yelp, jumping in your chair. Your hands come up on instinct to shield yourself from... Well, from whatever is going to happen. 

He has turned around, a frustrated groan leaving him, as he pushes stray strands of hair from his forehead. You can see the muscles of his back move.

- I should kill you for it - he sighs finally, after a tense moment of silence.

- You won't - your voice sounds confident, but your right hand comes down to the dagger at your thigh, fingers skimming the handle, just in case. 

Finally he turns to face you, and you recognize his expression immediately. He's tired. Exhausted in the same way you are. Suddey all of his threats, and all of your jokes fall short, because ultimately, this is who you both are. Just a couple of really tired people.

- Give me the documents, so I don't have to kill anyone this evening - his voice sounds almost pleading, almost like he truly doesn't want to hurt people.

You know better though. There is no compassion here, he's just tired, and corpses tend to create problems. 

- It's just one barrel Silco - slowly, you push yourself from the chair, standing on slightly wobbly legs - One for two months, three if we're careful. It's good business.

He hums low in his throat, the good eye trailing over your face, neck, your hands. He looks less like a creature from your darkest nightmares, and more like a human man. A small victory on your part.

- Good business, that costs me - he counters, watches closely, as you slide to the front of your desk.

- I beg to differ - there is a cautious smirk playing at the corners of your lips.

Not enough to irk him, but enough to make his eyebrows raise.

- If anything, I'm creating more customers for you. They buy my goods, and get addicted to yours. And round, and round it goes...

To that, he tenses, a careful expression tugging at his features. You know he's thinking over what you've said, by the way his eyebrows scrunch together, amd his scarred lips form a single, tight line. 

- One barrel, three moths, half the price - he says after a moment, a note of finality entering his tone. 

Years have taught you, when to stop pushing, and so, you nod. Then, with all the grace you can muster from your exhausted body, you go back behind the desk, and take out the scroll.

Instead of taking it to him, you place it delicately on the desk, sliding it slowly towards the edge. He gives you an annoyed look and with a single step towards you, grabs the paper. 

- Expect a cdelivery, should be here by the end of the month. Have the money ready by then - he concludes, voice quiet and reserved, just like everything about him. 

With that he turns to leave, securing the scroll in the pocket on the inside of his jacket.

- I've had many pains in my ass, but you, Y/N, are something completely different. - he mutters, as his steps carry him towards the door.

You look over the papers on your desk, eyes focusing on anything other than his back. 

- That's why you love me.

Silence falls over the room like a thick blanket. Your heart stops in your chest and nearly jumps to your throat, as you realize, he isn't leaving, you can't hear any footsteps. It takes all of your strength not to look up from the papers. You have a feeling, that if you did, you'd be dead in a second.

Too much, you always say too much, and then you're fucked.

All you can hear is the deafening sound of your heart thrumming inside your chest. You can feel it, beating against your ribs. The whole situation is making you dizzy. Still, you refuse to look up, cursing yourself for speaking, cursing him for saying nothing.

- Come back to the Last Drop with me.

It takes your breath right out of your lungs. The way his silent voice carries through the room, slicing the tension. When was the last time you've heard him say something so delicate, so pleading? Then again, maybe it was just a dream, a small hallucination, caused by the ever present toxic fumes. You have to know, if you've heard him correctly, so you look up.

He's back is turned to you, slightly hunched. There is tension in his muscles and you can see his right hand clutch at the scroll he's just recovered.

- What? - you ask cautiously, there is no point in denying his effect on you, not anymore.

- I said - his evil eye finds you in the darkened room, shivers running up your back as it stares at you unblinking - Come back to the Last Drop with me.

His lips do in fact move in rythmn with the words, so he must've really said that. Your gut churns, twisting inside. Because you want to, despite the threats and the violence, and all the sins this man has committed, you want to take him up on his offer. 

But, you're people need you here, they need to see how strong their leader truly is. If they saw you leave with Silco, it would shatter any semblance of respect they've gathered for you. And so, you shake your head, look down at the papers to escape his burning gaze. He can see your internal conflict clear as day, in the way your brows crease, in your clenched jaw.

- You know I can't - of course he does, that doesn't stop him however from crossing the room right back to your desk.

- Or I can just take you - he muses, one lanky finger tapping at the wooden surface, so close to your hand, you can almost feel the heat.

It's so much harder to control your breathing, when he's nearing you. And despite the desk being right here, he doesn't stop, sliding next to the edge. 

- Make them think this is your punishment - the offending finger slowly starts to drag from your wrist up your arm, your stance waivers - To run errands for the awful, terrible, merciless Silco.

His hand squeezes your biceps gently, before sliding further up. You follow his silhouette, until he escapes your peripheral vision, settling behind you. The other hand comes to rest against your hip, tugging gently at the fabric of your pants. 

- Silco... - you don't exactly know what to say, and you instinctively try to turn around, to face him.

He doesn't let you, however, thin arms encircling you whole, as he presses against you, lithe body resting entirely on your back. His chin finds purchase at the juncture of your neck, where you feel his nose trace up, towards your ear.

Silco inhales a long breath, his hold tightening even more.

- I want you there, at the Last Drop, with me - the words are breathed into your neck like a prayer, the tingling sensation is making you sway in your place.

- No you don't - you manage to choke out, when you feel his thin lips press against your pulse.

- Oh? - one hand leaves your hips and goes straight to your hair, grabbing a fistful, and craining your neck back.

Finally, you're able to move, arm coming up, to touch his scarred side of the face, fingers skimming over the abused flesh. His evil eye stares at you, fire swirling inside, but the good one, the beautiful green one, flutters closed for just a moment.

- When did you become an expert on what I want? - he asks through gritted teeth, voice sharp, in contrast with his serene expression.

You try to turn again, and this time, he lets you. 

- You need me here - your voice is quiet, yet reasonable, the way you know will work on him - Someone needs to control these people, and God knows, they don't trust you, not after everything that's happened. 

His lips curl into a snarl, not a threatening one, you'd recognize that one everywhere. This one is different, like something is hurting him from deep inside, and for a second you can't help but wonder. Does he regret his decisions, all that's happened with Vander years ago.

- I want you near me - it's childish, you both know it, an impossible plea.

- You have me.

That's all he needs, this single admition, and his hand comes up to your face, palm sliding over your cheek and finding purchase in your hair. The other, grabs at your hip, kneeding the flesh, dragging you closer. And finally, finally he kisses you.

There is no gentleness, all tongue and teeth, devouring you like a man starved, and in a way, he is. The desk is digging into your thighs, as he presses closer, and closer still, like he wants you to envelop him whole. Which, given his slim figure, is not something out of the realm of possibility. 

- Please - you gasp, when you both finally part for air.

You don't know for what you're asking, but you're asking for it all the same, fingers tugging at the stiff fabric of his waistcoat. 

Silco looks over your disheveled state, taking in the mess of hair, the swollen lips and the glossy eyes. His teeth worry his bottom lip, and it's as close as you'll ever get to a flustered reaction.

- My girl - he whispers under his breath, and that little phrase goes straight to your core.

All you can do is nod, too stunned to speak. He, in turn, dives back in, aiming for your neck. The hand on your hip dips lower, under your thigh, a silent command, which you obey without question. You're shuffling backwards onto the desk, free hand throwing the documents off the surface. They spill around you, shipments from months ago, a ruse you've already forgotten. Because now, he's biting down on the place your neck meets your shoulder, the mixture of pain and pleasure makes you whimper. 

Hands tug against your shirt, the dirty cotton giving way. You can hear the fabric tearing around your neckline, and immediately you throw your hands up. God knows, you can't afford a new one. Silco doesn't waste time, immediately ducking down to suck a hickey right in the middle of your collar bones. He was never one to give jewelery, and this ornament looks better than any necklace, in his humble opinion. You can feel him, hard and ready on the inside of your thigh, the fabric of his pants scratching your skin. 

- And who's the pain in the ass now? - your smile is sharp, when he looks up at you, abandoning the abused flesh.

You can see his eyebrows scrunching, and a deep panic settles into your bones. It wouldn't be the first time, when he leaves you hot and wanting, simply because you've said something that irked him. He was not a man to triffle with, yet, you simply couldn't stop. That being said, it's been a long time, for the both of you, so when you first see the dreaded crease between his eyebrows, you act immediately. Both hands shoot out, towards his belt, and before he has a chance to withdraw, you hook your fingers into the loops of his trousers, dragging him back to you, closer than ever. 

- Your girl - you remind him in a breathy voice, and by the way his evil eye glints, you know, you have his complete attention. 

A new spark fills him, and with strength not expected from a man of his stature, he makes quick work of your pants, pushing your hands away when you try to help him. Your hips fall on the desk, as he tugs your clothing from your legs, the furniture shifts slightly across the floor from the force of his actions. You knew it was a long time, but your had no idea it was that long. Or maybe he just really missed you. Wishfull thinking.

Your breath catches in your throat, as a familiar sound of a belt buckle getting undone fills the room. Silco doesn't like to be seen naked, a habit you've grown well accustomed to. Which is why you nearly jump from your place at the desk, when he quikly unbuttons his waistcoat. First three buttons of his shirt come flying open as well, exposing portruding collarbones and a lean chest. Shit, he's pretty, despite the scars, and bruises, and time. 

It's honestly, quite embarrasing, how easily he sinks into you. One push is all he needs to be completely seethed, one push to arch your back righ off the desk. He doesn't comment on it, a small blessing. But then again, he doesn't really say much during the act, he's not a vocal man. 

Or so you thought.

Because as soon, as he starts moving, a harsh, snapping motions that make you jump on the desk, you swear you can hear something amongst the creaking of furniture. It's a small sound, like a grunt of pain, but you know better. And as soon, as it happens, his grip on you tightens to an impossible degree, bony fingers digging into the flesh of your hips, as if trying to rip it apart. There will be bruises in the morning, but this is a problem for the future you. The current you is slowly starting to loose yourself in the rythmn, the cruel pace that leaves you breatheless at his mercy. Silco drags you closer, when you start to shift away on the desk, the wooden surface scratching your back. 

- Shit, Silco... fuck - the words you spit out are nonsensical, punctuated by sharp thrusts.

One hand detatches itself from your abused hips, finding your clit in a matter of seconds, and immediately starting to circle it with a force that borders on painful. Borders, being the key word, and as soon as the ministrations start, you throw your head back. All you can do it scrunch up your face and bite down on your bottom lip, to stiffle the broken moans threatening to spill. Soon, you're coming, hard and messily, legs shaking on both sides of his unrelenting hips. Tears prick your eyes, the sensation quickly becoming too much to bear. 

As if on que, his rythmn staggers, first low moan spills from his lips, and you try to rise on your elbows, to catch it in your lips, like smoke. He helps you, one arm coming behind your back and dragging you up, until you hang on his lithe frame. He's breathing hard against your neck, fingers finding purchase wherever they can. Finally, when you think you can't take anymore, he stops, burried deep inside you. You can feel him shuddering against you, and he comes with a strangled moan, one that's too broken, too intimate. 

Both of you stay motionless for a long while, catching your breath against eachother. Your fingers comb absentmindedly through his short hair, slicking it back to place, scratching his skull. He answers with gentle pressure at the back of your neck, the tension in your shoulders coming undone under his palm. You don't want him to leave, nearly reach out for him, when he finally detangles himself from you. But yet again, old habits die hard, and you fall back down onto the desk with a thud, letting the pain in your bones consume you. 

You half expect to hear the door open, after you note absentmindedly, that he has fixed his clothes. What you don't expect, is gentle touches cleaning you up, helping you straighten your legs. You don't expect him to wrap an arm around you and help you get off the desk. And most certainly you don't expect the kisses. On your forehead, nose, cheeks. On the crown of your head. Alas, he does all that and more, as he places you on a sofa, in the corner of the room.

- The Last Drop - he whispers against your temple, crouching next to you - Think about it.

And then he's gone. His knees crack, when he stands up, bony hand leaving your grasp. You allow yourself to close your eyes for just a moment, before springing to action.

There are people here, your people. And you have to look presentable, before one of them, inevitably barges in, so terrified for your safety. 

#silco x reader #arcane x reader #league of legends x reader #silco smut #my writing

[jennyandvastraflint]

I love Ncuti and how bold and bubbly he is and his take on the show is, but can we also please talk about how if Jodie talked about the character and show how he has (the slutty outfit comments etc) she'd be fcking eviscerated? Similarly, I love Chris and how he had firm ideas for his role but doesn't care for the show in general its just a job, but I always think about how he's treated as a fandom king despite that and defended for it whereas Jodie has continually been shat on for not being obsessed with the show (when she demonstrably has more knowledge of it than he does). Or how every other actor is allowed to both have an original take on the character and reference other Dr's in their portrayal but Jodie is simultaneously lambasted as "just copying" others and "not acting like the Dr". LIKE. The double standards are awful and there is no way she can win. If she rocked up tomorrow knowing in depth about, say, the 3rd Dr people would say she's pretending to look legit or too little too late or sth (like how she likes 10, and people mock her for having a normie fave like he isn't the most popular nu Who Dr).

Literally this, anon. I think it boils down to the double standard women are met with in fandom spaces of SciFi for instance that are generally seen as male-dominated. This of course doesn't just affect women but also queer people (mostly non-men) and non-white people. There truly is no winning; either you're seen as someone who knows nothing and is a fake fan, or as a try hard and know it all. Genuinely people for instance ADORE Matt Smith despite him (to my knowledge) also not having known that much about it. And let's not forget Peter is also a super fan and he was in the beginning received badly too, simply for not being the young(ish) white cishet man most dominantly seen as a show's protagonist. And Jodie is a GIRL DOCTOR! HOW DARE!??? What I particularly enjoy is the way she went out of her way to always clearly state in her outfit, acting, and at conventions and in interviews, that her Doctor isn't "the female one" but just "the Doctor" and that her Doctor is for anyone. And then RTD is all "WE CAN'T PUT DAVID TENNANT INTO GIIIIRL CLOTHES!!!" when Jodie's outfit is literally androgynous af, and DT has literally worn women's clothes for multiple other things. For instance Good Omens. Much Ado About Nothing. Etc.

Yeah anyway... The way this fandom will hound you as soon as you uh. Exist as a person they perceive as female, is... certainly something, and the reason I stay well clear of fandom at large.

I think having smaller corners of fandom you interact with is the best way to engage with media anyway. I feel quite at home screaming into a room of like 7 other people about the Paternoster Gang, and I have a wonderful friend group around 13s era.

Perhaps I'll pick up the show again at some undefined point when RTD leaves or something. But he first and foremost is the reason I just CANNOT. Plus obviously his "RTD can do no wrong" cult following who apparently had so little to do that they commented how terrible 13 is on every single* post during her era...

*hyperbolic

Quite frankly, the Extended Universe offers more than enough, and hey, unlike RTD, they don't treat sapphic characters as practically non-existent :)

#anti rtd #misogyny in fandom #doctor who criticism #doctor who

[coffeebanana]

20 questions for Fic Writers

Omg it took me ages to get to this but better late than never! Thanks for the tags @rosie-b, @monpetitchattriste, @lesbitorte, @kasienda and @celestialtitania!!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

Um. 107*... It's possible that I have a problem 😂

(*one is on anon. more on that later adfdsd)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

801,972!!! (fun fact i was just below 800k the first time i got tagged in this game so i was like "oh well i'm posting a new chapter tomorrow...i'll do this game after that so i can pass that milestone!" and then i posted the chapter but it took me close to a week to do this ahaha)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

mostly just ml. i have a few spop fics too but i don't really write for that fandom anymore. or at least not right now.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Gah. okay. I'm going to answer this honestly but to do that I first need to explain that my most kudoed fic is on anon because I'm annoyed it's my most kudoed fic aksjfbksdb. Like. It's only so popular because there's a bit of lila salt? and really the fic isn't about that but i don't really write that kind of thing anymore and i don't want ppl coming to my profile and sorting by kudos and seeing that first. There are other things i'd do a lot differently in that fic now too ahaha.

Break a Leg

Cards Against Ladybug's Identity

Ladybug And The Tramp Stamp

Imaginary Friends

The Sun Will Rise Again

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do!! I reply to pretty much every comment--unless it's particularly rude/rubs me the wrong way. I know commenting takes time and I appreciate the effort ppl put into it so I like to give my thanks back!

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Probably Every Teardrop is a Waterfall. Although I think Girl Is A Gun is a strong contender too?

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Uh...well, most of my fics have happy or at least hopeful endings. I don't think I can narrow this down to just a few haha.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I don't think I've ever gotten hate? Definitely some comments that aren't super nice but nothing too bad. (now i've probably gone and jinxed it 😂)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

um. a little tiny bit but not enough to have a particular kind LOL. i've only posted it once so far. but i also have Entangled, which will have smut in the next chapter--and that's angsty smut. which i suppose would be my brand of smut if i ever write any more

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

i haven't! i entertained the idea of an ml/spop crossover a couple years ago but i don't have any interest in it anymore. oh and i ALSO had an idea for a marigami spyxfamily crossover. but i don't know if i'll ever get around to that

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of! (*knocks on forehead since no wood is nearby*)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no, but that would be super cool!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i have not! a few times i've planned to write things with other ppl but nothing that ever really made it to the writing stage ahaha. although the littlebug vday zine is a collab in the form of a series--not exactly co-written but similar vibes

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

to write for, definitely the love square. and then catradora is so special to me because it got me back into writing and also i started IDing as a lesbian in part because i binged spop.

aside from that i can't really decide because like. there are so many shows i've seen and books i've read and ships i've loved for so many different reasons asdfbk. and then i have OC ships that only live in my head but that i love to play with sometimes before i fall asleep at night. so please don't make me choose!!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

uh. i would say none of them? because it's only when i completely lose interest in a fic that i lose the belief i'll finish it. and that's only happened with maybe two of my wips i can think of?

16. What are your writing strengths?

Depicting emotions! And using the setting to do that by establishing the mood/tone/etc...

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i guess like...self-doubt? not that i'm awful with it. in general i think i'm pretty good that way. but it's my biggest barrier to writing when i have periods where i get in my head about my writing, and it can make me overthink and not know if i LIKE my writing. and i think my writing is at its best when i'm having fun with it (which is probably true of most ppl), so...

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i think it makes sense when the characters are actually speaking that language for a short time but aren't speaking it for most of the fic? like i have one ml AU set in new york so they're speaking english for most of it and i used french for the first couple lines that were french (and weaved the translations into the narrative). so that's the only time i do that personally--aside for maybe one word lines like bonjour--but as a reader it doesn't usually bother me when i see it used other ways

19. First fandom you wrote for?

ahaha the Vampire Academy book series. and NO you won't find those fics anywhere, even though they are still out there somewhere

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

currently Say Something. and i very much wish i could finish writing it, but it'll happen when it happens!

I think most people I would have tagged have probably been tagged by this point...likely more than once 😂. So whoever else wants to play should do so!!

#tag game #long post

[conalnghing]

Word of the day (Day 5)

Hii!!! Today is day 5 and i'm here with a mostly worldbuilding post. (mostly wordbuilding thursday???)

remember this low quality sickle from yesterday?

this is it now:

As you can see, it looks exactly the same as the "water" root character i showed you yesterday:

(ignore the hook thing: i explained more in the same post from yesterday)

Indeed, the shape of the "water" root word comes from this knife.

As the speakers of my language (or the Windpeople, as i now call them) live in a desert, water is obviously very important to them. Luckily, they have a large, humid marshland and a river delta near where they live, caused by some mysterious supernatural event. (more on that when i flesh it out a bit more)

The plants that grow in the marsh are tall and woody, like bamboo but much wetter. One such type, the One-Wind, grows a waxy, red fruit at the top, to attract birds and insects more easily. Due to the high humidity and large amount of mosquitos, these fruits are rarely harvested, and are considered a delicacy reserved for the royal family and the top few houses of the aristocracy.

The fruits don't even taste that good. By the time they've arrived from the marsh, it's gotten all mushy and gross from the hot weather, and the royals only eat it to show off to their friends and to keep the tradition alive.

Anyways, back to the knife:

(putting the picture here again so you don't have to scroll alll the way back up)

To harvest the fruit, people trained for this job first use the knife to chop down the tall bamboo-like stalks of the One-Wind, which they then tie three or more together with a few reeds for stability. Grooves are cut into the stalk, and the harvesters then climb the stalk with the knife in hand, using it as a grappling hook whenever they feel wobbly and unstable.

At the top of the makeshift ladder, the harvester secures their feet into small grooves cut into the stalk. Then, they hold the knife with their dominant hand, cutting the fruit off and catching it with their other hand. This is the hardest part of the process, as it's dangerous and near impossible. If the fruit drops and smashes into the ground below, the harvester has to repeat the process until they get at least one.

Due to this, the harvesters slowly started to pray to different deities to bless their knife, both for the safety of themselves and the fruits.

This is one of the most popular carvings: (romanization below the characters)

Foitel hòp itel aitel náp

/foitɛl˧ hop˩ itɛl˧ aitɛl˧ nap˥/

N-moon-ADJZ air-N moon-ADJZ VBZ-moon-ADJZ blade-N (sorry if the gloss is wrong its so confusing)

Wind Deity blesses (this) blade

lots of glyphs here, so heres a short explanation for all of them:

foitel: Deity

hòp: Air

itel: Holy

aitel: bless

náp: blade

(Note: "Holy air" is a poetic way to refer to wind.)

The second inscription is this:

Náp o shop lòmpal

/nap˥ o˧ ʃop˧ lompal˩/

blade-N PHRASE INDICATOR water-N foot-N-ADJZ

powerful marsh plant cutter

(Note: "náp shop" means "water blade", but adding the phrase indicator "o" , it turns into "marsh plant cutter".)

This is basically a label for the knife, kinda like a shop label doubling as an advertisement, to let people know what the item is and how powerful it is.

Hope this new type of post isnt too long!! I'll be back with some more characters tomorrow though!!

#conscript #neography #constructed language #constructed script #conlang #fokò butla #worldbuilding #language #pictography #pictographic #iconographic #singular post

[theghostpinesmusic]

Alright, so I am going to stop posting for the day here in just a minute, but I wanted to get this one off my plate (out of my Drafts folder) while I still have a million fluid ounces of coffee in my veins.

So, Goose played a four-show run at the Capitol Theatre this past week, and it was awesome (over the web; I wasn't there in person). Originally, after switching drummers at the end of last year, they weren't slated to play any shows until June of this year, and while six months off the road might be pretty typical for today's big-name rock and pop acts, it's fairly unusual for a jam band, especially one that's currently shooting up the ladder in terms of popularity.

But then there was the new drummer announcement and the attendant rehearsal jams, which I've written a bit about already. And then there was Ted Tapes 2024, a new album that dropped with essentially no warning in February. Then, a mere three weeks and change before the band planned to hit the stage, they announced a four-show run at the Capitol Theatre in April, as a way of introducing their new drummer and new-ish sound.

As I said above, this run was fantastic. The band sounds great, and is clearly having a ton of fun playing alongside Cotter Ellis, the new drummer. There were moments when I missed Ben's playing, for sure, but the story at the end of the day is New Drummer Good, and also Old Drummer Good. Maybe I'll further process my feelings on that point later, and if so, maybe I'll blog about it. Maybe I'll keep it to myself.

Anyway, the band has only shared two videos from the run so far, one of a huge improvisational sequence at the heart of their night two show, wherein they played their 2016 album Moon Cabin in its entirety to mark the eclipse that had happened earlier in the day (and then proceeded to drop the show recording with this insane cover art). I will write about this later. Maybe tomorrow.

The other video is the one linked at the top of this post, which comes from set two of the final night of the run and features a sit-in by three members of Vampire Weekend (yay!), as Goose covers the new VW song "Gen-X Cops" from their just-released album (woo!) and the classic VW tune "Cape Cod (Kwassa Kwassa)" (whoa!), the latter of which turns into a thirty-plus-minute jam (huh?).

And as it turns out, not everything needs to be a jam. Sometimes, the real thirty-minute jams are the friends we make along the way.

So. As you know, the thing I do on this here blog with regard to jams is to write lots about them in exacting, weird-and-maybe-pointless detail. I am not going to do this for this jam, however. Mostly because -- and I mean this as respectfully as possible -- the Vampire Weekend guys are just not jam band musicians, and while they are having fun up there on stage during the jam (except maybe Ezra, who just looks sort of lost throughout), none of them with the exception of the drummer (whose name I don't know and certainly have no way to look up or learn) really adds anything to this jam or contributes at all to its direction. It's basically most of Vampire Weekend just hanging out on stage as Goose drags them through a long, multipart jam.

There are certainly parts where Rick in particular very obviously intentionally makes room for the VW guys to take over, but they just...don't? And there are parts where the VW bassist tries to engage with Trevor in a dueling-basses sort of thing, and Trevor just...doesn't engage? And for some reason the VW drummer doesn't replace Cotter, the new guy, on his kit, but instead replaces Jeff, which means Jeff is stuck playing a third electric guitar, which can literally never be heard during the entire performance. And all of these things add to something that in a lot of ways is just really, really not interesting as a result. To be clear, there are also parts where the Goose guys just do a big ol' heap of Goose-y jamming, and it's good, but there's, like, these three other guys on stage while it's happening, and it's just sort of weird.

I'm not trying to throw shade at the VW guys here. I love Vampire Weekend (Father Of The Bride is one of my favorite albums by anyone in the last ten years), but as much as they are clearly influenced by jam bands as a genre and likely Goose in particular, they themselves are definitely not a jam band. And that kind of high-energy, long-form improvisation isn't something you can just jump on stage and do one day after never really doing it much previously. So, it's not their fault, per se, but it's also just sort of a mixed bag of music for a half-hour-plus as a result.

In the end, I wanted to share it because it's neat to see these two bands collaborating again, but it's a bit too much of a mess for me to be interested in going through the whole thing with my usual fine-toothed comb.

Next up, though, is the aforementioned Moon Cabin monster jam. For today, though, I'm going to step away from the keyboard and do something else for awhile...

#jams #jam band #goose #vampire weekend #music #videos #live music #tour journal #writing #Youtube

[pranzill]

Thanks @catnipster69!!

I was tagged to Name five songs you're into right now and tag five people...

So...I'd like to derail this post to celebrate the Italian Republic Day (June 2nd) because I don't have 5 songs I'm particularly into right now and I'd like to spam some good classic Italian songs that I'm generally into, that are always shown off during these holidays if in a friends group there is someone with a guitar ❤️

Fabrizio De André - Bocca di Rosa (Rose Mouth)

De Andrè is a wonderful storyteller. This song is about a girl who for work, out of boredom or just for passion gives her love freely to anyone. She ends up sent away by the wives of the last place she lands, but on her way, people knowing about her, search for her to show their love, until even the priest wants her during the procession next to the Virgin Mary. Holy Love and Profane Love.

Franco Battiato - Centro di gravità permanente (Center of permanent gravity)

Most of Battiato's songs like this one, are playful and surreal mixes of irony, literature, philosophy and new age quotes. His cringy little dances are awesome and I was lucky enough to see him sing and dance at one of his last concerts. You can write an essay about this song or take it as a summer hit, you choose.

Lucio Battisti / Mina - all of their songs

Can't choose just one song nor one between them, they're both iconic. Classic love songs like there's no tomorrow guys.

Ivan Graziani - Monna Lisa

One of the best italian guitarists. He basically goes to the Louvre to steal "what once was mine". Yep, Her ❤️.

Gianni Morandi - C'era un ragazzo... (There was a boy...)

The wholesomest singer ever with the biggest hands on earth. The song is about a boy, a traveler from the US, who loved The Beatles and Rolling stones, who loved and singed about freedom but was called back to America to fight in Vietnam.

Joan Beaz made a very popular version of this song too ❤️

Aaaaaand I'll tag @walechu @herefortears @sugaraddictarchangels @collinmieczbz @digitalmeowmix don't know if you're already been tagged and no pressure tags of course!

#game tag #italian songs #italian music #music #republic day #italian republic day #Youtube

[science-lings]

Just wanted to tell you that your art is beautiful,truth is I didn't even know you had a side-blog to show your art but everything there is very beautiful and you can see very clearly how much you love doing it, and I get why you are upset because it isn't getting the recognition it deserves but please never stop doing the things you love, you don't really have to answer to this btw just saw you post on the family chat and I feel I was a little (too) late to answer to you there so I'll just said it to you here, but please never stop doing the things you love and care about, your drawing style is very unique and the way you colour is just great, it complements your art completely <333 please get your deserved rest and I hope you have a better day tomorrow ❣️❣️

Thanks, I guess I thought I wanted to draw something today but when I started really thinking about it, I just wasn't excited about it and I knew I wouldn't get any validation for it so it felt kind of hollow. I do love drawing, even though I really struggle with variation, I just like drawing busts of my versions of Zelda's and Link's I guess lol. Every once in a while it just gets to me how much work I put in and how it sometimes feels like I just get nothing back and while I don't do it for validation (I guess you can tell that by my less-than-popular drawing subjects), it gets disheartening when there's just... no response to it.

Sorry, I didn't mean to rant, at least I tried to be a little productive today and get ahead on the stuff for my ultimate link project lol.

#im also getting inspired to draw one of my og ocs from a few years back before I got super into zelda #and i knew no one would recognize her or find her interesting enough to ask me about her #it just gets so lonely sometimes when you only cater to yourself #thanks though #im really glad that you like my art #i got a little afraid when you were going though art that's years and years old #ask andromeda

[lastoneout]

Sounds like i can't trust your opinion on the Mario movie, since you clearly already made up your mind and decided you hate even though you haven't seen anything of the movie. It could be good and you'll still say it's bad and claim anyone who likes it isn't a real fan.

Point to the part of the post where I said anyone who likes it is a fake fan lmao show me exactly where I said that

Anyway I DID say that I could be wrong and that I hope that I am wrong. If it's good I will 100% acknowledge that! I actually really, really, REALLY want it to be good, it LOOKS hella good. That poster rules, the style looks great! If the trailer drops tomorrow and it's the sickest thing I've ever seen I'll get right back up on my soap box and apologize for ever doubting them!

I just can't get over the fact that they completely fucked over the established Mario VAs for the movie in fave of name recognition with an actor who truly does not fit the role. Based on Chris Pratt's previous work I don't see how he could possibly do a good job as Mario's VA, and on top of that no matter how good or bad the film ends up being I think it's important to keep in mind that changing the voice cast was a bad, shitty idea that shows how little Hollywood values voice actors AND how little they value animation as a medium since they don't think people with show up to A FUCKING MARIO MOVIE, you know one of the most recognized and loved video game franchises in history, if there isn't a popular actor attached to it.

That's insulting. I'm allowed to point out that that's insulting.

Anyway again, it could be good. I want it to be good. I really, really want it to be good. If it's good I will be happy, and I don't believe in calling people fake fans EVER for ANY REASON. No matter how good or bad the film is if that's your introduction to Mario then hell yeah! If that's your favorite Mario thing then hell yeah! If that's the ONLY Mario thing you like then hell fucking yeah you are still a genuine fan of Mario and that's rad, good for you!!

I just personally am gonna be pretty bummed if the movie is amazing aside from the voice acting, bcs again they didn't HAVE to change VAs, and being that close to making a fantastic film and then fumbling at the end bcs I guess hiring the voice actors who have been playing these roles for years and respecting animation and video games as a whole is "too hard" or whatever is really fucking sad.

#it's fine if you like the film #idc #love whst you love #I unapologetically love so much mediocre crap #who tf am I to judge #I just am also allowed to point out that this one aspect sucks ass

[deewithani]

Bit of a long post ahead. It's discourse and fandom discussion, so scroll on by if that's not your thing.

I see drama, but I usually don't comment on it.

I will, however, just say this: If there are things you don't want to see, people who interact with content you don't like or actually creates that content (the absolute nerve of them, I know), or content/blogs that just don't flow with the mood you want for your blog...

Block them. Unfollow them. Blacklist tags. Purity in fandom is impossible. You won't get it. What is acceptable to you is unacceptable to someone else. The best thing you can do is use the tools available to you to chuck those things right over the wall that surrounds your blog. You are responsible for what you let inside your walls, no one else can make those decisions for you.

Regarding DNIs, I think if you have one other people should take that into consideration. It's not perfect, but it's one of the tools you can use. Regarding the most recent drama (it's mostly on Twitter, and a week old at this point), if you have DNI'd something and now you're removing that because some big name artists are blocking certain DNIs, I don't know what to tell you. They've done as was asked of them and this makes it harder for those accounts that you actually don't want to interact with you to stay over in their area and not bother you.

Some time ago I put in my bio that I didn't have a DNI. It wasn't in response to any particular fandom thing or discourse, just what I talked about above. I think most of us are doing our best to curate our blogs, stay in our lanes, and have fun here. I would bet, though, that somewhere in the blog of probably every person that follows me, and every person that I follow, there is a post (or several) that hit a very specific DNI for someone, even if you think you're being as careful and mindful as you can. If your blog has a pink theme I guarantee there is someone out there who has a DNI made specifically for you because they hate the color pink.

I check DNIs before I follow anyone, and I block tags that are specific to the things that I don't want to see. That's it. I know it's probably not the "acceptable" way to be in fandom anymore, but I don't have the time, energy, or desire to interact with things I don't like, particularly to tell other people how they're wrong.

If you've followed my blog long enough, you've probably noticed a lack of certain ships, even though I haven't posted a DNI warning away followers that do post those ships. I don't really even have to mention which ships they are. We all know what ships they are. I blocked the relevant tags. I hardly ever see that one sequel ship, or that popular Mando ship that I absolutely despise, because artists and writers are generally very good at tagging, and fandom is really good at creating ship names that are easy to block.

I try my best to be mindful of the things that I post and reblog. I didn't create this blog to upset anyone, I created it to share my love for Star Wars. I think most of us created our blogs for much the same reason. I have not always done the best in how I wanted to curate my blog, and I'm sure that I'll fall short in the future, too. I'm not perfect, and because of that I don't insist on perfection in others.

Anyway, tomorrow is going to be a good day to be a Star Wars fan. We will love some things, and we will hate some things, but we're all in the same fandom. The only thing I can guarantee anyone is that there will not be 100% consensus with how the fandom feels about either show tomorrow, but there will probably be someone updating their DNI to "DNI if you support Bo-Katan as Mand'alor".

#fandom discourse