#dont have no one to tell so here i go blabbing it to the world lmao 😆

[silencesscreams]

i can see you

james potter x best friends sister!reader (smut)

summary: james develops a strange feeling for sirius’ sister (reader) when she comes to london once her job required her to move. he first off thought she was a shitty person, an awful one with an awfully pretty face. so when sirius offers for her to stay in their loft until she finds an apartment, he decides he’s going to make her want to get out of there as fast as possible, until he wants her to stay more than anything in this whole world.

a/n: omg im so sorry this took so long, i tried my best w this one. also, english isn’t my first language so sorry for any mistakes. inspired by i can see you - taylor swift

warnings: mdni. smut with plot, afab!reader, use of she/her pronouns in reference to reader, use of y/n (I AM SORRY), afab!reader, being shorter than james, muggle & modern day!au, chef!peter, ships included (dorlene, marylily, wolfstar), swearing, cuddling, mentions of alcohol and drinking, a lot of physical touch, kind of public??, kissing, praise, v soft dom!james, fingering, oral (m receiving), light choking, size kink??, penetration, unprotected (don’t do this please), overstimulation

for the past two years, you started to have weekly calls with your brother, to update him on your life and know what’s happening on his.

you got transferred to london because of your job, you couldn’t find any apartments online and you were supposed to move the other week, being really desperate you told him about it, hoping he knew a real estate agent or something like that, but you were incredibly caught by surprise with his answer.

“thats such nonsense, you should just stay in my empty room until you find another place.” sirius said, his phone on speaker as he made a sandwich in the kitchen. james eyed him with a confused look on his face, but sirius decided to ignore it.

“really?” you ask, hopeful, you really could take a break from looking for apartments.

“of course. i mean, remus has practically moved into my room, so we just need to take some stuff of his out, but yeah, its no big deal.” james couldn’t help but look at him like he was crazy, remus’ room was right next to his, hell, remus’ room had a bathroom adjoined to his. james was starting to feel faint.

as soon as sirius got off the phone with you, he started blabbing.

“what the fuck, sirius?!” james said loudly, sirius sighed, putting his sandwich harshly on the plate.

“what now? i’m really just trying to eat here”

“your sister? really?” he looked like he was about to faint.

“she’ll pitch in on the rent, don’t worry about that” your brother tried to get him calm.

“oh please, i dont care about that! you know how i feel about sharing spaces” he was getting stressed, he couldn’t help it. “and you know how i feel about your family, i have been telling you to be more careful these past years but you don’t listen at all!”

it really had to be remus’s room? couldn’t peter just switch rooms and lend her his instead?

“she’s not like my parents, and neither is regulus, they didn’t do anything” sirius paused, “do your best friend a favor, will you?” and he knew he was going to.

“she’s not messy or nosy or anything like that, right?” james asked, giving into it fully.

“please, shes a cleaning freak, she’s worse than my mother” he paused. “that’s an exaggeration but she’s not messy at all, i swear. you wont even notice she’s around.” james doubted that, but he knew how much sirius missed his siblings, and he knew how fond sirius was of you.

james swore to himself he was going to get you to leave either way, he didn’t want you there and he didn’t care if he had to pay more rent because of it. he didn’t like you, he never did. even in school, before the whole sirius moving out thing, he felt weird around you. and he remembered that feeling very well, even if it was many years before, he didn’t feel like he could forget.

-

your moving truck arrived at the building a few hours before you, but when you got there, sirius had already arranged your furniture, which did make you a bit emotional. he had even bought a toothbrush, carefully arranging it in the right side of the cabinet, the side that pointed towards the door of the bathroom that led to your room.

the boys came to pick you up at the train station, you recognized them from sirius’ social media. they were everywhere.

you were extremely confused on why all of them had come and pick you up, you were hoping to see your brother standing awkwardly, instead he was there with all of his roommates. you felt like you were a teenage girl again, trying to talk to your brother during lunch, but his friends were always around.

you recognized remus from the photos he sent you, and peter was always on the background of your calls with him baking something.

and then there was james.

james potter. you didn’t know how to feel about him anymore. when your brother first introduced you, you found him attractive, but then you hated him.

when your brother ran away to his home you couldn’t help but hate him.

sure, your house wasn’t the best place in the world, but he took away your older brother, how were you supposed to feel?

as time passed you started to tolerate his presence. now you really don’t care about him, but he sure looked better than he usually did many years before.

-

you felt like you could kill him.

after living with james for a month you found him obnoxious, rude, annoying and a few other things you were too lazy to mention.

but the thing you hated the most was how invasive he could be.

you barged into his room, he was laying there, crumbs all over his red shirt.

"you should learn how to knock" he rolled his eyes when he said it, your brows furrowed.

"you ate my brownies." you had baked a few because it was bring your kid to work day and you were in charge of the snacks.

“they were really good, i thought peter made them” james paused. “he runs a restaurant downtown, you know, he’s always baking and-“

“i’m gonna have to make a whole new batch. you ate like ten of them.” you were about to get a really bad headache depending on his answer.

“i told you, they were really good.”

if you were in a cartoon you would’ve turn red and there would be smoke coming out of your nostrils and your ears. you had no comment.

you hated when he did that, just compliment you so you couldn’t really hate him that much anymore.

he used your shampoo, but it smelled really nice.

he ate your leftovers, but you really know how to order chinese food.

he even wore one of your biggest shirts you bought when you were in college because you were too lazy to buy pijamas and suddenly that shirt was really nice, because, sure, james potter actually listened to avril lavigne.

he even shrunk one of your favorite sundresses, you almost cried that day and he never even apologized.

the list went on and on, and somehow, every compliment of his sounded like he was taunting you, making fun of you right in front of your face and all you could ever do was thank him.

maybe that’s just how you were, polite no matter what. but you sure didn’t want to be polite to james that day.

“no, you don’t get to do that” you felt like you were being crazy.

“what do you mean?” he chuckled. he so did not chuckle.

“you don’t get to compliment me! that doesn’t bring my brownies back!” the word brownie sure sounded stupid in that moment.

“i’ll bake more for you, but they’ll suck, you know that” he actually sat on the bed to argue, how kind of him.

“the kids will probably die if they eat your brownies.”

“you’re feeding children? where do you even work?” he looked so confused and you kept getting angrier.

“do i really look like the kind of person who would eat a hundred billion thousand brownies? god, james, why can’t you just not touch my shit?”

“that’s not even a real number and there were a lot of them! i thought it wouldn’t make a difference!”

“it wouldn’t, if you had eaten one or two, but you ate half of them!”

“oh please, lets put it to a maximum of 25%, alright?” you felt like you were going absolutely insane. he was probably going to get you in a mental hospital and you’d be walking around, looking half dead, murmuring ‘brownies brownies brownies, i want my brownies back’.

you decided to just give up, slamming the door the hardest you could while heading out.

-

as halloween came around, the bickering with james stopped, you didn’t quite know if it was because of the season or you just got used to each other, but you didn’t mind it much. he could be very exhausting when upset, and you were sure you could too.

you loved fall, maybe it was that you were in a great mood. pumpkin flavored stuff, candles and everything else included.

on the day before halloween, you woke up early, you had to go apartment hunting and once you got back you would try and help peter make deserts. even though your ghost shaped cookies look like very sick jellyfish, you wanted to help. it was the most you could do, you weren’t paying rent, sirius wouldn’t let you. and they were going to throw a party on the next day so you wanted to help them get everything settled.

when you got home you were so incredibly tired, you had spent all day out and it was already 9pm. you had to walk so much you felt like you were your feet would fall off because they were used more on that day than they were your entire life. you were more upset you didn’t get to help with the food though, the pain didn’t really matter that much compared to that.

you just wanted to lay on your bed, put your feet up and-

giggles.

there were giggles coming from your room.

and then you remembered it, the neighbors, a few girls that went to the same school as you and were very good friends with your brother were staying over. a big slumber party of some sort, you and james were sleeping in the living room, because, of course, the four girls formed two couples and they would sleep together separately. no actual bed for you tonight! you really liked them though, so you couldn’t complain.

you knocked on the door to your own room and marlene opened it, cheeks flushed, and you could see dorcas on your bed, doing something on her phone.

“hi, lene” you decided to call her that because sirius called her that, it was cute. “sorry for bothering you both, i just wanted to get my pillow, my blanket and change real quick”

“oh sure, come in” she opened the door and you went straight for the drawer under the bed, grabbing a light green heavy one, you usually used that on winter but it was a cold night and you didn’t really want to bother them by taking your usual one from off the bed.

you never changed clothes so fast, tossing them in the laundry bin along with a shit ton of james’ shirts that were on his side of the sink.

“thank you, have a nice night”

you sighed while going to the living room, to find james sitting on the armchair, shirtless and wearing sweatpants, drinking a beer and watching that 70s show (again). you decided to ignore how good he looked and just get some rest because you really didn’t want go think about james in that moment, or ever as a matter of fact.

you lay down on the couch and throw the blanket over your head.

“you know what bums me out about this show?” james says abruptly, like you would really like to know. you grunt, waiting for his answer. “they really didn’t know when to stop it, its only good until what? season-“

“james, im really tired, i just wanna get some rest, please” you get out from under the covers to say that, so he ignores it fully.

“how did apartment hunting go?” he asks, pausing the episode and asking alexa to turn on some playlist with songs a sad dad would listen to.

“shitty, theres not one good place up for rent in this city, its actually sick”

“yeah, thats tough” he pauses for a brief moment “come here” he said, patting his knee. was he asking you to sit on his lap? was he going fucking crazy?

“i’m sorry, what?” you were so confused, since when was he like that to you?

“get up, sit here with me a little.” were you dreaming? was this one of those weird wet dreams you had in high school?

“james, i’m really tired, my back hurts and i really want to lay-“

“i’ll give you a massage, it’s whatever” he answered, a sad puppy look on his face.

you gave in. you walked over to him and sat on the arm of the chair, but he pulled you onto his lap.

“i need to be close to you, if i’m not it’s really awkward and uncomfortable.” some song you didn’t know was playing.

it was slow and sounded old, you didn’t recognize it.

“james come on, im really tired.” you say, smiling though, you didn’t know why he was doing this. he must’ve had an awfully good day.

“just for a bit.” why were his hands on your waist? why were you nervous. you nodded, you felt that if you opened your mouth to speak, nothing would come out.

you could feel his breathing on your neck, his hands roaming your waist as he lead them up to your shoulders.

his hands were on the low of your back, under your shirt. that was certainly new, and that was really not a massage, but you weren’t complaining.

you looked back at him, wide eyed, what was he doing?

once you turned your face to look at him, you couldn’t look away anymore.

maybe it was how nice he looked in the paused lighting of the tv, maybe it was how warm he felt, when the weather was so chilly recently, whatever it was, it hooked you.

he was looking straight into your eyes and you felt so open to him, it was weird to see him like this.

you felt like you were back in school being head over heels for your brother's best friend.

you heard keys jingling outside, so you stepped away, leaving him sat by himself wondering what he did wrong. sirius opened the door abruptly, scaring james, who looked at him confused.

“sorry, mate, the door was … hey! is that my instrumental playlist?” james turned a bit pink.

“yeah, I was just...” he looked at you. “forget it.” he turned it off. you were pretending to be unbothered, looking at something your phone.

you couldn’t quite wrap your mind around what had just happened.

you unfolded the sofa into a bed, getting comfortable on the right side, but then you felt his eyes back on you as sirius went into his own room.

“oh, sorry. do you want the couch? i can sleep on the chair, i don’t really-“

“we can share. don’t worry about it.” you nod at his comment. what had gotten into him? he turned off the lights, leaving the tv on. you were trying to calm down, sleeping in the same place as him, being nervous about it was so silly, but, still, you could feel your heartbeat.

“you wanna pick something?” he interrupted your thoughts, you didn’t want to watch anything. you wanted it to be over as soon as possible.

“no, you can just go back to your thing, i don’t mind it.” you answered. he laid down by your side.

fuck.

you were going to share the damn blanket.

he unpaused the tv, putting the remote on the right arm of the couch, that was your side. his arm went over you, he wrapped his arm around your waist once he went back to his side, though half of it was empty.

was he trying to spoon you? you could feel yourself getting nervous, your body starting to feel hot.

you (stupidly) decided to test his actual intentions with that, turning to your side to see if he’d pull you in, he quickly did.

you could have died right there.

he had never even hugged you before, was he really horny or something? and so you felt it.

‘oh my god.’ you thought to yourself repeatedly.

you felt his hand on your waist, pulling you closer to him, which was basically impossible with your ass already glued to his crotch.

you ended up sleeping like that, waking up in the morning to the ‘are you still watching?’ screen.

the day was fine, and you found out you and James had a lot in common, you ended up talking the entire evening, he spent the whole party next to you.

you slept in separate rooms at night, but you still spent a while with him in his room talking about all sorts of things. you never imagined how you and james could be alike. you never imagined how could be so sweet, funny and nice.

after the fall holidays you and james became closer and closer, when labor day came up you realized how much you liked him and when thanksgiving came around, you realized how you might actually be falling for him.

he didn’t help with that at all. he was always touching you, you even ended up cuddling when you would watch some awful movie in his room.

you never really got if he liked you as a friend or he wanted something more, until christmas.

you carefully placed your gifts under the tree on christmas eve, so in the morning when you saw a little box with your name on it, you were incredibly excited.

everyone was sat on the living room floor, opening gifts. in the little box was an envelope and it was from all of the guys. there was something written in the paper inside but you didn’t want read it in the moment.

“thanks” you smiled, but you didn’t quite know what it meant.

“we all talked and we want you to put your name on the lease.” sirius said quickly, looking at you anxiously.

“like, actually?” you ask, starting to feel extremely happy because you loved living with them.

“yeah” remus answered, smiling.

“thanks, i really appreciate it.” you couldn’t stop smiling, it felt great to know they wanted you there. james, who was sat next to you, gave you a one arm hug and a kiss on the forehead.

“so you’re gonna let me pay rent now?” you ask to your brother, smiling.

“i guess so.” he replied. you knew he was happy too. “gonna get you an actual gift though”

they were planning a big christmas party, they invited some people from work, the girls and some other people you didn’t really know, so you were expecting to spend the night with james. you went all out, put on your favorite red dress which was short but still fancy for the event.

once you were ready, half of the party was already there, including all of james’ coworkers and friends. you sat next to him on the couch, they were all there all talking about something from his work you didn’t really understand.

they were all dressed up too, but what shocked you the most was that james was wearing a suit, sure, his necktie was already loose and the buttons on his shirt too, but he looked amazing.

“can i stay with you fot the rest of the night? i don’t really know anyone here.” you whispered into his ear, nervous about the answer.

“sure” he nodded. “hey, henry” he called for his coworker that was sitting on the couches arm.

“yeah?” the guy answered.

“this is y/n, the friend i was telling you about the other day.” james gestures to you. you can’t help but smile awkwardly and wonder what he said about you.

“oh, hi! pleasure to meet you.” he got up from his chair and shook your hand, smiling at james and nodding. what did that mean?

“pleasure to meet you too.” you smile at him.

“i’m just gonna get some drinks, i’ll ill be right back. do you want something?” james asked you.

“just a soda.” he gets up and heads to the kitchen.

“so, tell me, how are your brownies?” henry jokes, you look at him confused.

“good, i guess, but thats a biased opinion.” you answer, curious on how he knew about your brownies.

“you know, james talks about you all the time.” he comments, you were sure he already had a few drinks.

“really? what does he say?”

“when you first moved in he hated you, you know? he always said it was fun to make you mad and all. but since october he’s been so nice when he talks about you, i personally think he fancies you, but i wouldn’t know. i don’t think he’d tell me if he did, specially because you’re his friends sister and all.” he was rambling but you really enjoyed the part he said about james seeing you as more than a friend, you enjoyed it so much you didn’t even pay attention to what he said after that.

“i doubt it, we just turned into good friends, that’s all.”

“nah, i think he wants to make you into something else.” henry might’ve just made your entire night with that phrase. you couldn’t hide your smile anymore.

“here’s your soda, a beer for you, henry” james handed the drinks and took a sip of his coke. you sat next to him, holding your soda in both of your hands, looking down at it nervously. “did something happen?” he asked you.

“no, just thinking ‘bout something” you answer, looking into his eyes now. he smiles, wrapping his arm around your waist. that makes you so flustered, you feel your entire body getting warmer and that’s just the start of it.

for the rest of the night, he stayed by your side. his hand resting on your waist, thigh, around your shoulders, wherever he wanted them. you could feel your heart beating in your chest for most of the time. he had never done that before, not in public and surely not like that, not in a sexual manner, at least that’s how you identified it, because one thing was a friendly touch, the other was what he was doing.

he made you feel needy, aching for more - he was making you want him.

did he notice? did he ever even perceive how he made you feel? how could he not?

goosebumps covered you once he grazed your thigh for the first time out of five, the fifth was when he finally let his hand stay put there.

it made you feel crazy, it really did.

you didn’t know if he meant it as you took it, but you really hoped he did.

the party was still going around 1am, james had disappeared and you were left sitting on the couch, waiting for him to come back.

you couldn’t stop thinking about him and it made you feel kind of silly. you were a bit disappointed that nothing happened but you sort of expected it. you knew nothing would actually occur, but still, it made you a bit sad. maybe the touch lead you on, but it-

you looked at your phone once it vibrated and you felt the absolute need to scream because of how excited the text made you, but you didn’t.

‘James: come to my room once you read this, please.’

you didn’t think much of it, though you would’ve come if he just asked you to like he normally did.

you finished your drink and knocked on his door. he opened it but didn’t look at you, his eyes were focused on your knees, he looked nervous.he was still wearing his pants and the dress shirt, except it was unbuttoned. shit.

“y/n?” he was looking at you now.

fuck.

“yeah?”

“you look really good tonight.”

“i clean up nice sometimes.” you smile.

“oh please, you always look good” he turned a bit pink once he said it. “and thats a really nice dress” his voice was low when he said it, was he actually hitting on you?

“thank you” you whispered, you couldn’t help but feel anxious as his body got closer to yours.

“you know, i’ve been thinking about something for a while now” he says. you could feel your stomach start to twist and turn because you were so anxious on what he was doing next. you hummed, making sure he would continue what he was saying, but he didn’t.

he just kissed you like it was the easiest thing in the world. he pulled you into his room and closed the door, locking it quickly.

the feeling of his lips on yours was something you craved for a while now, you needed it so much you started to wonder if it was normal for you to need something this much.

you couldn’t stop once it started. his hands were on your hips and you tugged onto his hair desperately.

kissing him is redefining the whole concept of kissing to you, and probably ruining every other sexual experience you could have for the rest of your life.

he pushed you into the door, his hands now on your ass.

“shit” he let out quickly as he stopped kissing you so roughly and started giving you quick pecks. “you have no idea for how long i wanted to do this.” you hummed. “you’re so fucking hot, it makes me crazy.” the praise was making your stomach twist again, a wet spot being formed between your legs.

he carried you with your legs around his body and took you to his bed. the same bed you have used to lay down to watch movies, to just gossip or discuss things, to do whatever.

he sat down and kept you on his lap, straddling him, but you needed more. as he kissed you roughly and messily you would casually rock your hips, causing friction. after you did that a few times he laid you down on the bed, telling you to stop being such a tease, he got on top of you, supporting himself with his knees, one of them between your legs, causing friction and making you more aroused.

when he started playing with the strings that held the dress together, you knew you were done for, so you let him undo the bow, kissing your neck. he was messy, sometimes he would bite and it would send bolts of electricity down your spine.

“james…” you let out as he bit you again.

“tell me” he said, trailing his kisses down to your clavicle. “can i take this off too?” he asked, playing with your bra. you nodded but he didn’t move an inch.

“i need to hear you say it. can i take this off?” he was such a fucking tease, it made you go crazy. he loved to hear your voice, he knew you wanted him to take it off, he just liked to hear you say it.

“yes, please” you struggled to hold in a moan once he started sucking on your neck.

“thank you” he answered, looking back to the hickey he gave you. “hmm, that’s gonna leave a mark, sorry baby” baby? he had never called you that, you hummed as he took off his collared shirt and then proceeded to take off your bra . he groaned at the sight of you, which drove you mad. his growing bulge was exposed.

he was big.

you immediately regretted every single time you had made a small dick joke (sure, there were only 2 times but they did happen).

he was on his knees, towering over you.

“you’re so pretty”, he leaned down to kiss you again, this time more eager than ever. his right hand cupped your jaw as his left one roamed your body, making you ache for more and more. “i really wanna touch you” he whispered and went back to kissing you, his left hand now between your thighs, waiting for permission to move.

“please” you whisper, stopping the kiss briefly. he kept on kissing you as he stimulated you through the fabric of your underwear, but that didn't happen for long, specially because of how wet it was, he needed to touch you, he couldn't help himself. the dress was so hiked up it looked like a shirt, but instead of helping you take it off, he pulled it down a bit, so he had access to your chest. he immediately started kissing around your left tit, making you go absolutely insane. and that combined with the sudden touch to your clit? yeah, you were getting fucked up that night.

he was better than anyone had ever been to you. sucking in your nipple and fingering you slowly, he was making you go crazy, needing him more.

he stopped sucking on your nipple and went back to your neck, his hand not stopping at all. the right one went to cover your mouth as you moaned.

“be quiet, hm? want everyone to listen? don’t wanna stuff that pretty mouth of yours too” his non dominant hand went to your neck, choking you lightly as his other one fucked into you. you were so close to cumming, with his thumb stimulating your clit as his other fingers went in and out of you, he knew that you were close, specially with the way your pussy was tightening around him. “so fucking tight, aren’t you? can’t imagine how you’re gonna feel around my cock” he stopped and took his fingers out, making you whine, missing the feeling of him.

“jameees” you moan, finding the courage in you to pull him in, giving him a kiss.

“take it off”

“what?” you’re confused.

“the dress, i really wanna fuck you in it but i don’t wanna ruin it.” he lets out. “take it off” he sounded like he was ordering you, and you loved it so much, you wanted to give something back to him.

“i will, but can i suck you off first?” you ask, looking at him doe eyed, and how could he say no?

“you really want to?” he asks, furrowed brows, you nod, quickly getting on your knees as he unbuckles his belt, throwing it on the carpet. he got up and pulled his pants down, staying just in his boxers, he climbed back into bed with you, kissing you sweetly.

you were on your knees in front of him, pulling his cock out of his underwear, stroking it lightly then kissing the tip. you take him in your mouth, using your hands to stroke what couldn’t fit, which, frankly, was about a bigger portion of it. he was the biggest you ever had.

“fuck” he groaned at the movements you were making, using his left hand to get strands of hair out of your face, as his right one supported him on the bed. he was trying not to thrust into your mouth but you were making it so hard. “your mouth was made for me, baby” he whispered, looking into your eyes. his free hand went to your neck, choking you just a bit, as your head bobbed up and down, taking as much as possible.

“so good, your mouth feels so goddamn good honey” he groaned as he finished the sentence and you used your non dominant hand to cup his balls. he was moaning a bit and it was the hottest thing you’ve ever seen or heard, though you were sure you would see hotter things that same night. he started thrusting lightly, he couldn’t help himself, specially with how good your mouth made him feel.

“stop” he ordered you, and so you did, a pop sound being made as you stopped sucking and looked up at him.

“did i do something wrong?” you ask, brows furrowed. his hand hasn’t left your neck, and so he pulls you in by it. his tongue went straight in your mouth, he needed to taste him on your lips.

“i wanna fuck you” he said, looking into your eyes, waiting for any kind of response.

“yes. please do” you quickly say, kissing him quickly.

“the dress” he remembers and you quickly take it off, not stopping the staring for a second.

“want you down on all fours” he says, getting on his knees. you do as he commands, getting in an arch position as he’s on his knees behind you. he can see that you still haven’t taken off your underwear, he bites on your ass cheek and then pulls it down with his teeth.

“you don’t mind if i keep this, don’t you?” he asks, helping you take it off fully. “it’s already ruined”

“it’s yours” you look back at him, he’s smirking like the devil. he throws your underwear into his bedside drawer.

“gotta keep it safe” he whispers. you can feel his bulge through his boxers as he leans in to kiss your neck, you whine, needing him more.

“patience, i’m gonna give it to you, sweetheart” his right hand gave your ass a smack. “up” he said, signaling for you to arch your back even more. as you do so, he groans, pressing his covered member against your wet cunt.

“you’re so pretty like this, all for me?” he asked, using his hand to play with your clit.

“y-yes, all yours” you said, trying not to whine mid sentence.

“good girl. mine” he gave your shoulder a quick peck. “gonna put it in now, okay? tell me if you wanna stop” he took his dick from out of his boxers and pumped it a few times. you could’ve fainted once you felt his tip lined up to your entrance.

he went in slowly, he was way to big for you. every time you thought he was done, there would still be more of him left.

“jaaames” you would whine

“just a bit left; don’t worry, princess” once he was fully inside of you, you felt amazing, like you were in heaven. “you’re so fucking tight, ‘feels so good” he said, trying to to groan, his voice was raspy.

if took a few thrusts for you to get used to his size, but as soon as he picked up a pace, you were a mess. you couldn’t hold in your sounds, the way he was stimulating your clit was absolutely killing you.

“be fucking quiet” he demanded with a groan, “you want everyone to know who you belong to, huh?” he didn’t stop, he just went quicker as a matter of fact.

“fuck!” you squealed as he pinched your clit, his thrusts began to be more rough, you couldn’t even focus. you’re eyes kept rolling back, your mind was fully blank and the only thing that was coming out of your mouth in that moment was a mixture of james, fuck, shit and a few other curse words.

you were in ecstasy.

“you like this, don’t you?” he was grunting lowly in between every few thrusts. you were so close, you felt your high coming to you, the way he was fucking you was not helping with you trying to hold it.

“james ohmygod james, im gonna cum” you say, trying not to stumble over your words.

“ask nicely and i’ll let you” he said, stopping the stimulation on your clit and thrusting harder. he was close too, the way your tight pussy would clench around him was making him go insane.

“please let me cum, james. need it so bad” you blurted out in between whining and moaning. he grins and goes back to stimulating you.

“good girl, do it” he went faster and didn’t stop playing with your clit. your eyes rolled back and you let it go.

your walls clench tight around him, he didn’t stop as you made a mess all over his dick.

as you finished, his thrusts only got harder, you were feeling so overstimulated and you felt like he was close too.

“fuck, sweetheart. gonna cum inside you, that’s alright?” you moaned in answer.

his hips stuttered and you felt his cock twitch spilled inside of you, his juices mixing with yours.

he made sure he got rid of every single drop.

your legs were shaking as he pulled out and tucked himself back into his underwear, you collapsed on the bed and he laid down next to you.

“wanna go back to the party?” he jokes, looking into your eyes.

“shut up” you reply, looking at the ceiling of his room.

“gonna clean you up, okay?” james assured you as he threw you a shirt of his that was under the bed. you put it on but pulled him closer to you.

“okay, but just stay with me for a while if that’s alright.” you asked.

“always” he pressed a kiss onto your forehead and you knew that this was not going to be a one time thing.

#lila writes #james potter x reader #james potter fic #james potter smut #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter oneshot #james potter fanfiction #james potter imagine #marauders x reader #silencesscreams

[gravytrainnaturebornn]

the power of self-talk in the fight against self-sabotage (for binge-eaters and ppl who have never been skinny🫶)

disclaimer: this is not proana. this is for people who struggle with binge eating as a form of self-sabotage, emotional comfort, self harm, etc. overeating can cause just as much harm physically and mentally as undereating. please be safe. now, on with the show!

weight loss, but specifically extreme weight loss, equals change. change equals discomfort, so people tend to subconsciously avoid change. this is why starting to see progress on the scale or your body can trigger the urge to self-sabotage that progress and binge eat.

for people who have been big their whole lives, that fear is heightened by the fact that being thin is completely uncharted territory. by following through, youre entering a new world that youve never navigated before. your brain might get scared, say its much too big a mountain to climb, and tell you to give up. its easier to say fuck it because for most people, unhappiness is a comfort zone. if youre used to hating your body and wanting it to change, then actually *changing* it poses a very serious threat to your comfort and the lifestyle youre used to.

questions like: "what if i reach my goal and im still unhappy/unattractive?" "what if i dont look like myself?" "what if i reach my goal, cant sustain it, and then i gain it all back and humiliate myself?" can all make someone feel anxious about succeeding in their weight loss journey. and for people with overeating issues, this is a big trigger for binge episodes.

so how do you combat this instinct to self sabotage? well, im not a psychologist so take this with a grain of salt, but for me it helps to soothe these subconscious fears and train the brain to fight these urges. self-talk and thought-correction play a HUGE role in rewiring the pathways in your brain that lead you to bingeing. truly, practice and consistency are the only things that are going to cause a big change, so stick with it !

correcting problematic thoughts *immediately* when they form is key to preventing problematic behavior in the future, and that starts with being able to identify those thoughts. the moment you catch yourself thinking about food, cut yourself off with a correction. maybe even think about food on purpose a few times to practice recognizing and correcting it.

for example, if you just ate an hour ago, chances are youre not actually hungry yet. tell yourself that as soon as you realize youre thinking about food. i like to tell myself "i dont need to eat, and im not gonna sabotage myself by eating that." by acknowledging it and calling it what it is--literally an attack, by my brain, on my own progress--i immediately attach a sense of accountability to the actions that follow. there's no deniability. its no longer a passive choice. theres no mindless eating or "i wasnt thinking about it." if i eat after acknowledging the act of eating as self-sabotage, then that is me *actively* choosing self-sabotage over self-control. accountability alone can change a lot if you let it.

what i tell myself changes depending on the situation, but i find that repeating some of these phrases throughout the day helps to fight urges in general, and certain ones help for specific cravings and situations.

below are some examples of things i tell myself that have helped me fight the urge to self sabotage. they dont all have to be true when you first say them, the point is training your brain to think a certain way. it may feel unnatural at first, but the more you say them the more natural it becomes, until eventually it becomes apart of the way you actually think and you dont have to work so hard at it. remember: consistency. is. key.

okay ill stop blabbing! here:

•i allow myself to be thin.

•i accept the change that comes with losing weight.

•i am ready to see myself differently and cope with any complicated feelings that may come with it.

•i am prepared for my body to change.

•i will deal with my wardrobe when the time comes, and im not afraid of dressing differently for my new body.

•i will adjust to my new dietary needs and appetite when i reach my goal weight. i will not always be hungry; eating less will be my new normal, and i will be okay.

•i am not afraid of being hungry.

•food does not comfort me, nor does it solve my problems or make me feel better.

•i am ready to navigate a life that looks different to the one im living now.

•i am not afraid of reaching my goal. if i do feel afraid, i am confident in my ability to work through difficult feelings and continue towards my goal.

•im not going to sabotage myself by eating that.

•i accept that people will perceive me differently, and i am ready to navigate that change.

•i am prepared to receive comments about my weight loss.

•i am not afraid of getting what i want.

•i believe i deserve what i want, and im dedicated to working towards getting it.

•i am capable of adapting to new routines and habits.

•fear is not a reason to give up, and i will continue to work even if the possibility of change makes me uneasy.

•i am prepared to face the future, even though i do not know what it looks like.

•i allow myself to make mistakes, and i will not use them as an excuse to quit.

•my long-term satisfaction is more important than what i want in this moment.

•i am in control of my actions and i am capable of resisting the urge to binge.

•i allow myself to have the body i desire.

•i allow myself to change.

•i allow my life to look different and i am not afraid to see a new person in the mirror.

•i am excited to reach my goal, and prepared to navigate any changes that come with it.

•i am ready to meet and introduce others to the new me.

#disordered eating thoughts #ed mention #ed no sheeran #tw disordered eating #tw disordered thoughts #bed #bingedisorder #binge eating #weight loss #ednos #pro for me not for thee #tw restriction #ana rant #skinni #thinspi #⭐ve better #i want to ⭐️ve #⭐️ving #not pro just tags #ed thoughts #tw

[olivegreenfedora]

hi guys: help me

, hi gusy, im going to rant a bit. 

RUN AWAY IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO SEE ME RANT!!!

anyway, so basically...i’ve been dealing with a personal dilemma for lets sayyy...the past 7 months. now, if you scroll down my page, you will come across a post that essentially talks about one of my teachers, and my extreme infatuation towards them. NOW IM GOING TO TELL YOU WHAT MY DILEMMA IS.

I'm still extremely infatuated with him...

AND THAT’S THE PROBLEM.

i cannot seem to stop thinking about the man. i genuinely fear for myself.

as soon as i wake up, i immediately think about him. when im on my way to school...i think about him. WHEN IM TRYING TO FALL ASLEEP, I CONGURE UP A SCENARIO THAT IS REVOLVED AROUND HIM. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO THINK CLEARLY FOR THE PAST 1.5 YEARS AND I HIGHLY DOUBT I EVER WILL.

its not that i have (what the millennials call) a “crush”. i don’t. it is quite obvious that i don’t. ( i don’t think i ever have had one on anyone but that’s for another day).

its more that i really look up to this man. not in the sense that i want to be him in the future, but in the sense that i never want to leave his side. he is always equipped with some cool piece of information, some fun fact, that he throws around and I LOVE IT! it makes me so happy to hear him talking about trains, or quantum mechanics xoxo. but alas, i can no longer listen to him blab about Einstein's theory on wave particle duality anymore, or how corrupt NESA is for i no longer have him as my teacher.

EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE THIS MAN IN THE HALLWAYS, OR WALK PAST MY CLASSROOM, OR EVEN HEAR HIS NAME - I SHRIEK. I AM PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF KEEPING MYSELF TOGETHER AROUND THIS MAN. MY HEART MELTS EVERY SINGLE TIME I EVEN THINK ABOUT HIM. I DONT KNOW HOW LONG I CARRY ON IN THIS STATE OF MINE. YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORST PART IS? THE FACT THAT HE IS NOT A TEACHER FOR ANY OF THE SUBJECTS I AM TAKING...AND HE NEVER WILL BE! 

tough life of an English kid xoxo :’(

ALSO, I LITERALLY SOB EVERY SINGLE DAY. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I SOB OVER THIS MAN. THIS MAN WHO PROBABLY FORGETS ABOUT ME AFTER I LEAVE. THIS MAN WHO HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN TALK TO A TEENAGER ABOUT THE POLITICAL AND ECONOMIC STATE OF THE WORLD. THIS MAN, WHO CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF HIM, EXPRESS A SINGLE EMOTION.

anyway, i had an appointment with my psychologist today but she bailed on me bcs she’s pregnant or whatever, and she had to go on maternity leave or whatever. SO, RUDE! UGH!

if you’re still here, tanks 4 reading da whole ting. much appreciated xoxo <3

if you see this and you know me...you no longer do. 

#i want to commit arson #i want to steal his cat #his tabby cat #his black and white cat #postman pat #i want to give this man a huge hug #i am going to write him an email again #please help me

[713-4th-ward-g]

.

#yoooo #i just read 3 volumes of vagabond im hooked #i bought 2 more volumes #and pun pun just came in today #so while im waiting on the 2 more volumes i got pun pun to read #and blood on the tracks is on the way #i don't think im ready for that one #especially at night its going to freak me out #pun pun is very interesting so far just read 10 pages but my night light just died #so i have to either turn the lights on or recharge the light and wait #oh well its still lit though #I'm so excited for the new volumes come in #dont have no one to tell so here i go blabbing it to the world lmao 😆

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Prompt: Skizz discovers Impulse is a traitor early?

well hello there :D hope this is as good as whatever you had in mind! cuz i dont think i got exactly that lol

...

You whisper to impulseSV: We need to talk. ASAP.

Skizz paces back and forth in his room, anxiously waiting for a response. He hasn’t told anyone what he saw yet; even though he knows he probably should, he just doesn’t want to face it. Something inside him is telling him it’s not true, that there has to be a reasonable explanation. He can’t spread this information before he finds out whether or not it’s true.

impulseSV whispers to you: okay, meet me at my villager hole

Skizz jumps into action and rushes out of the building. He doesn’t tell anyone where he’s going, which might be a big mistake.

He runs all the way to Impulse’s villager hole and bursts in through the non-trapped door. But Impulse is nowhere in sight.

Frowning, Skizz spots a trapdoor with a ladder visible under it that wasn’t there before. He carefully climbs down the ladder and finds himself in an almost pitch black underground room, about the same size as the interior of Dogwarts.

Skizz walks out into the middle of the room, looking around in awe.

“Skizz,” comes Impulse’s voice.

“Gah!” Skizz nearly jumps out of his skin. “Don’t do that! Where are you?”

Impulse materialises out of the darkness. “Hey. Did you come alone?”

“Yeah, I did. I gotta talk to you.”

“So talk.”

Skizz takes a deep breath. “I, uh… I saw you earlier today, meeting with the crastle people. I didn’t hear much of what you said, just something about “gaining their trust”. That… Impulse, you’re on our side, right? You’re just pretending to be friends with them?”

“Yeah, ‘course,” replies Impulse easily. Too easily.

Skizz frowns. “Impulse, please tell me it’s not true. Tell me you’re not betraying us for THEM.”

“I’m not betraying anyone,” says Impulse defensively. “You know me; I’m not capable of that. You… do know that, right?”

“I…” Skizz stares at his best friend. “A few hours ago, I’d have said no. But now… I think you’re capable of anything. Tell me the truth, Impulse. Whose side are you on?”

“Yours, of course.”

“You’re doing it again! Switching on the ol’ Impulse charm and saying exactly what the other person wants to hear. You know that doesn’t work on me, buddy. I’ve known you far too long.” Skizz narrows his eyes. “You’re a mole. You pretended to join us but you’re on their side and you’re gonna betray us for them. Am I wrong?”

After a moment, Impulse wordlessly turns away, all but confirming Skizz’s suspicions.

Skizz’s stomach drops. “Oh, god… I trusted you! You- You traitor!”

Impulse sighs. “This is just like you, Skizz: running over here to confront me alone cuz you couldn’t POSSIBLY fathom that you might’ve been wrong about me. Did it ever occur to you that maybe this world changes people? That you can’t truly trust anyone but yourself?”

“No!” Skizz snaps. “I trust Ren and I trust Martyn and Etho and I DID trust YOU!”

“And that’s gonna be your downfall.”

He suddenly shoves Skizz to the ground. Before his friend can react, Impulse brings his foot down hard on Skizz’s ankle.

Skizz screams as they both hear it crack. The pain is immense; it’s definitely fractured, if not broken completely.

“See the thing is, I can’t have you running around blabbing about this to anyone,” Impulse says casually. “But at the same time, I can’t just kill you because that would show up in chat. So I think it’s time I test out my brand new trap and see how deadly it is.”

Tears of pain and anger fall from Skizz’s eyes as he stares into the cold, harsh eyes of the man he used to call his brother. “Wh-Why, Impulse…? Why would you d-do this to me…?”

Impulse just shrugs. “I’m just playing the game, Skizz. Sorry.”

With that, he turns and walks away into the darkness.

“Impulse!” cries Skizz, his vision completely obscured by tears. “IMPULSE! DON’T LEAVE ME! PLEASE!”

He hears the click of a lever being pulled in the darkness, followed immediately by pistons moving. His breathing quickening, he rolls onto his side and pushes himself up, but as soon as he puts weight on his left ankle, he knows he’s not going to be able to use it.

A familiar growl pierces the air, causing him to freeze.

A zombie.

More growls.

A LOT of zombies.

The first one that appears through the darkness nearly gives him a heart attack. He manages to slice it down with his sword, but by then, three more have ganged up on him. Trying to back away, he finds himself completely surrounded by a horde of at least two dozen zombies.

“NO!” he screams. “HELP ME! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!”

The zombies’ claws dig into his skin, and at least two of them manage to bite his arms. Players are able to resist being turned into a zombie through a bite but that doesn’t make it hurt any less.

Accidentally putting weight on his injured ankle again, Skizz collapses to the ground and curls up in a ball, trying to protect his head and neck. Impulse was clever; he hurt Skizz’s ankle on purpose so he could neither run nor fight for long.

This is it for him. They’re going to kill him.

All of a sudden, a battle yell echoes in the darkness, followed immediately by the sound of zombies taking damage. Multiple zombies taking damage at once. Someone’s come to save him.

The zombies attacking Skizz move away to target this new threat, but they’re no match for whoever it is. Within a minute, all the zombies in the room have been eliminated.

“Skizz!” comes Etho’s voice. “Are you okay?!”

Severely weakened and on the verge of passing out from the pain, Skizz looks up at his friend, unable to muster the words to reply. His vision is swimming, but he can just about see two figures kneeling beside him.

Etho and Martyn. They came to save him.

That’s the last thought in his mind before he passes out.

…

“-is definitely broken. But not like he fell from somewhere and landed on it. More like someone stomped on it until it broke.”

“What?! Who would do something like that?!” “I don’t know. Hopefully Skizz can shed some light on this when he wakes up. Oh my goodness, Ren, you should have seen how many zombies there were. I don’t think it was a coincidence.”

“So… you’re saying someone tried to murder Skizzle? Broke his ankle so he couldn’t get away from the zombies?”

“Yeah, I think so. And we think it was Impulse, too. Etho and I didn’t see anyone else around except him, and the hole was under his villager place as well, so we- Oh, look! I think he’s awake!”

Skizz lets out a quiet groan, his eyes slowly opening. As his vision adjusts to the light, he registers Martyn and Ren by his side, and the interior of his bedroom back at Dogwarts behind them.

“Hey, Skizzles,” says Ren gently. “How are you feeling?”

Blinking slowly, Skizz looks down at his arms and finds them covered in bandages. Beyond them, he can see his ankle elevated in a cast. Nothing hurts anymore, to his relief.

“Alive,” he rasps. “For good or for bad.”

“What happened?” Martyn asks. “Do you remember?”

“Oh, I remember.” Skizz tries to suppress a sniffle at the traumatic memory. “It was Impulse. He’s a backstabbing traitor and he tried to kill me to stop me from telling you.”

Ren gasps, but Martyn just shakes his head, an anguished expression on his face. “I should’ve known. There were so many little clues but he explained them away so well, I just…”

“He had us all fooled,” Ren murmurs. “I’m just glad we managed to get to you before he got away with murdering you. If he had, we’d never have known, and we would’ve continued to trust him.”

“How- How did you find me?” Skizz asks. “I didn’t tell you where I was going.”

“Etho and I went looking for you cuz we hadn’t seen you in a while,” replies Martyn. “We just happened to be at Impulse’s villager pen when we heard you screaming. Luckily, Impulse had just left and I don’t think he heard you, or he might have tried to kill us too.”

His upper lip curls in an expression of disgust. “We bumped into him right there and it was like nothing was wrong. It makes me sick to think that he was up there chit-chatting to us about his villagers like everything was fine, knowing full well he’d literally just abandoned you to be murdered by a horde of zombies. That goes beyond 3rd Life; that’s… that’s just pure evil.”

Skizz nods slowly. “Yeah, something’s not right with him anymore. Whoever that was… it’s not my Impulse. Something’s changed him.”

“Well, either way, at least you’re alive and his treachery has been exposed,” Ren says. “And we will take our revenge on him for trying to kill you. As soon as he’s red, we take him down.”

“Why wait?” asks Martyn, frowning. “Why not kill him now, while he’s on yellow?”

“Because if we do, he’ll harbour a grudge and try to take revenge on US for killing him once he’s red. And if yellow life Impulse is THAT dangerous, imagine what he can do on red. It’s better to wait and come up with a plan so when he becomes red, we can take him out immediately and prevent further carnage.”

A shiver runs down Skizz’s spine. It feels horrible to be discussing killing his best friend when they had been so close only hours before. Despite everything Impulse has done, he doesn’t actually want him to die. He still loves his brother, no matter what.

Even though he’d love nothing more than to punch him in his stupid face right now.

“Skizz?” says Martyn softly. “You okay?”

Skizz clears his throat. “Y-Yeah. I think I will be.”

Eventually.

#3rd life smp #3rdlifesmp #skizzleman #inthelittlewood #impulsesv #rendog #etho #vaunna’s requests

[fallingfor-fics]

Teachers Pet-chapter 13: the test

All chapters

chapter 12

I was just leaving the Great Hall and was walking to DADA with Harry and Ron, discussing what we were thinking we would do in class today, since neither of us wanted to attend. We walked into the classroom and I noticed Lockhart wasn't there yet, thank Merlin, maybe he would be absent today. We sat down and got our supplies out patiently waiting. I heard Ron whispering to Harry and nudging his arm.

 Lockhart entered and gave a brief overview of what we would be doing in class today. I heard more whispers from the pair and turned to look at them, "What are you two whispering about?" I said in a hushed tone. "Nothing" they both said and I just rolled my eyes. I then felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Harry smiling at me. "Um Y/n I wanted to ask you something." he said clearly scared and looking back at Ron. "Well what is it?" I said wishing he would just ask already. "Potter! L/n! Shhh Im speaking!" Lockhart interrupted. He continued blabbing about the lesson and I turned back to Harry. "What was it?" I whispered. "Oh, um well I was wondering If you wanted to go to the Yule Ball with me?" he spat out quietly. I was taken aback clearly, shocked since I had no Idea Harry liked me. I felt kinda bad because I didn't feel the same and I didnt want to hurt his feelings. He could tell it was taking me a minute to think it over. Harry was just so sweet, too sweet, I didn't really like cheesy sweet boys, they are a little soft for my personality, which is why it was gonna be so hard to say no. "Look Harry, you're one of the nicest guys I have had in my life, but I just dont think its a good idea, im sorry, I'm positive you can find someone better to take, like Ginny maybe?" I said with a compassionate smile.

   I could see his face soften and he frowned a bit, "Oh that's alright I totally understand, I just figured y'know neither of us had dates yet, but no worries." he said as he turned and focused back on Lockhart. I felt so guilty for doing that, he was such a good friend, but I just couldn't see us having a good time at the ball. I did the same and focused on Lockhart and we spent the rest of class in silence.

   Once class ended I muttered small goodbyes to Harry and Ron and quickly sped out of the room not wanting to deal with the aftermath of that whole situation. "Hey Y/n" Draco said walking up to me like he did everyday, "Hey Draco, ready for the potions test?" I said as we walked to the dungeons. "Mm yeah I guess I mean I've been ready haha." he said with a cocky smile. I rolled my eyes, "How was DADA? Hope you didn't hex Lockhart again." He said laughing. "It was fine, and fuck off," I said playfully pushing him"Something strange did happen though," I said looking down at my books, "Harry asked me to the Yule Ball.." I said looking at him. "What?! Potter? What a joke!" he said scoffing "I hope you didn't say yes!" he added. "No I didn't, he's too sweet and I just don't feel that way about him, but I feel really bad about it. He looked upset." I said looking back down. "Oh I'm sure he'll be just fine, plus you need a man to take you to the ball, certainly not Potter." he snarled, I elbowed him and gave him a look, "Hey be nice! He's still one of my friends you know." "Yeah yeah." he said mockingly,  as we entered the potions classroom and took our seats in the front. Snape wasnt here yet so we all waited patiently. I got my supplies out and opened my book looking over the material one last time. The door flew open and Snape came walking in, his robes billowing behind him like usual. I felt a small smile creep to my face at the act, he always looked so stunning when he did that, so...powerful. I realized what I was doing and quickly looked back at my book and dropped the smile.

   "Ok class, put your textbooks away and clear off your tables, I will now be handing out your tests, you'll have all of class to complete them, no more and no less. You will get your grades back tomorrow, come drop them on my desk when you are finished and return to your seat quietly." He spewed, the same speech he gave before every test, he began walking around the class handing out the tests and came to my table last, he handed one to Draco and then to me, I looked up at him as he handed it over and smiled saying thank you, he just nodded and looked to have given and very small smirk, as if to say "Good luck" I took a deep breath and began on the test. It was 100 questions which was no surprise since we have a 2 hour class period for potions. 40 minutes had gone by and I was on question 36, which wasn't very good, as Draco was on 49. I needed to pick up the pace if I wanted to finish in time. An hour and a half had now passed and several kids had already finished, I was feeling pretty good so far and was on question 70 something, feeling like I was losing my mind at all the words on the page. Before I knew it Draco was getting up and turning his in. I was almost done, only 5 questions left and 15 minutes left. When I finished there were only three kids still working on theirs, I looked up at Snape who was going over essays and he looked up at me. We made eye contact and I quickly looked back at my test, checking over all my answers. I let out a breath and cracked my knuckles as I stood and slowly walked up to Snape, "All done" I said nervously handing it to him, he looked up and took it from me, and his fingertips brushed mine very softly and quickly as he took it from me, and as soon as he did, out of fear and embarrassment, I snatched my hand away and smiled awkwardly, walking back to my table and putting my head down. I dozed off for the last 10 minutes of class, awakening to Draco shoving me telling me it was time to leave, I sat up and saw most of the class had left.

   I grabbed my stuff and we went for the door, "Actually, Ms. L/n may I speak to you." I froze scared it was about the hand thing, or maybe the Dumbledore thing this morning. I shooed off Draco saying I'd catch up and walked over to stand next to Snape's desk. He stood up and I followed him with my eyes, keeping eye contact to get any sense of what this was about. "I went ahead and decided to grade your test as soon as you turned it in." He said in his usual tone, not giving me any clue as to what I got. Making the suspense and tension build more. "Oh gosh. It's bad isn't it? I failed, didn't i? Oh merlin Professor im so sor-" I began to ramble when he didn't speak but he cut me off, "Y/n calm down." He said and I could feel a slight blush at the use of my first name. He handed me my test and I kept my eyes on his not looking down at it yet. "Wooo ok I can do this" I said giggling a bit, I looked down and my eyes went wide. Written in red ink and circled at the top was a 92. A fucking. 92. I looked back up at him and my jaw dropped. "OH MY GOSH I DID IT!" I practically screamed, jumping up and hugging the paper. "I can't believe I passed and with a 92 this is the happiest moment of my life!" I said smiling up at him.

In fit of adrenaline and serotonin overdose I threw my arms around him and hugged him. He went stiff and I realized what I was doing and quickly threw myself off. "Oh my I'm so sorry Sir, that was so inappropriate, I was just so happy" I said blushing hard and feeling a very strong nervous tingle, which it was I decided to call them, and looked up at him. "It's quite alright Y/n, I'm very proud of you, you worked hard and it paid off, good job." He said with a very small, but visible smile. I smiled big back at him and gestured to him, "I got you to smile too! This is amazing!" I said giggling. "Alright alright enjoy it while it lasted because that's the first and last time you'll see it." he said back in his normal tone and sat back down in his chair. We went silent for a moment as I just stared at my test. "I'm gonna frame this" I joked to which he just looked up at me and smirked a bit. "I cant thank you enough Professor, If you hadn't helped me and stayed up all night tutoring me, I would have been seeing another 50" I said with a calmer and genuine tone. "Of course, Ms-...Y/n, Im proud." he said and I put my head down to hide the blush, I felt rush to my cheeks at the sound of him saying my name, this was getting out of hand. "Ok well, I will see you in tutoring tomorrow. Goodbye Severus." I said with a sarcastic grin and walking out of the class before he could scold me for the use of his first name.

   I walked out of the school to the yard and sat in front of the tree that overlooked the lake. I closed my eyes and took in the fresh air listening to the quiet sound of the lake's water. I looked down at my test paper and smiled, he told me good job and I felt so proud to have pleased him, thinking of the potions professor and how he was such a different man to me now than he was when we first met, he was still his normal self 90% of the time, but he would let the kindness shine through every now and again when I would talk with him. I can't believe I hugged him, I thought. He felt warm for such a cold man, and he smelt nice, like parchment and firewhiskey. That smell would forever be burned in my head. And he smiled and it lit up my dark world for that fraction of a second. Looking in his dark eyes as he was truly proud of me, made my heart beat faster, he was so...beautiful to me, despite what others thought of him, he was an amazing man. I felt the nervous tingle again, only this one lingered on. I leaned my head back on the tree and felt a single tear slid down my face. I let out a breath and opened my eyes wiping it away quickly, and grew scared for a moment. I wasn't sure if it was a tear of joy, or a tear or worry, for I had just begun to realize, the nervous tingle I felt around him was butterflies, the ones Hermione had told me about, and the feelings I had, were for my Potions Professor.

#snape x reader #snape imagine #severusnape #professor snape #snape #severus snape #severusimagine #severus x reader #severus snape x reader #hogwarts #slytherin #Snape slowburn

[bisexualsforprompto]

For Garmari what if they had a secret relationship that only the heroes knew about(knows shes ladybug) and her parents (dont know shes ladybug). They met while the teen titans or yj were on a mission. She didn't tell anyone cause 1)Alya might post it 2) her class and her aren't really friends and 3) some people might be extremely rude especially about his green skin.(lila and/or chole). Class fi3nds out comments spew and she ends friend ship with everyone. Jealous adrien trying to break them up

A/N not sure how happy I am with this, but oh well...

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was used to secrets.

She wasn’t fond of them but she was used to them.

Being Ladybug, hiding Lila’s threats, hiding Chat Noir’s blatant sexual harassment.

She would’ve broken if not for Tikki, but sometimes even they weren’t enough.

Sometimes she thought she might break down because of all the different parts of her she was forced to hide.

Until she met Garfield Logan.

As weird and almost silly as it sounded when Ladybug had contacted the Justice League and started out with her first mission with the Teen Titans she instantly clicked with Beast Boy, Garfield.

He broke down all of her walls, he had so many as well with everything that had happened in his past, and suddenly there weren’t any secrets between them.

It was refreshing to have a friendship with someone with no secret identity, comes with the territory when you’re green Marinette supposed, it felt like Gar didn’t have to hide from the world and she didn’t have to hide from him.

It wasn’t soon after (or surprising) when their friendship blossomed into a relationship. But ironically it created a new secret.

She told her parents (of course leaving out the small detail that’d she’d met Beast Boy as Ladybug, though they didn’t push, Tom and Sabine were just proud that their little girl had a boyfriend, even if he was a green superhero), but nobody else. She was afraid Alya would post it to the Ladyblog and she didn’t want that kind of attention. She knew Lila or Chloé would try to belittle Gar, say that Marinette of course could only date a beast. And although Garfield had a lot more self esteem than Marinette she refused to subject him to that kind of abuse.

The rest of the class wouldn’t be any better, they’d all sided with Lila. Adrien and coincidentally, Chat Noir were becoming problems too. They would constantly bother her and try to ask her out and she knew if the word about her and Garfield got out they would try to break them up.

The other Titans knew and she had a sneaking suspicion that some of the others in the hero community knew as well, but she trusted those people, she couldn’t trust Paris.

She could trust Gar, he was always there for her, but at the moment she was almost ready to slap him in his beautiful, beautiful face.

“Um I do have a special someone,” Garfield said over the television as Marinette facepalmed watching it with her parents in the bakery, “It’s kind of a secret who she is but she lives in Paris and I love her very, very much.”

If Marinette didn’t love Gar she would’ve marched herself over to Titans Tower and kicked his ass all the way to Paris for being so stupid.

She understood that he didn’t want to keep their relationship a secret, she didn’t want it to be either, there were enough secrets, but if anyone found out they were dating...well Marinette knew her life would be unbearable.

Marinette stomped up to her room ignoring her parents calling out to her and dialed her boyfriend’s number.

“Garfield Logan I’m going to kill you!”

“So I take it you’ve been watching the news.” Gar chuckled nervously over the line.

“What the hell Gar?!”

“Ok first I need to tell you I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, I was being a moron and wasn’t thinking.”

Marinette rolled her eyes but felt slightly more calm, “Yeah you shouldn’t have.”

“I don’t want to try to justify what I did because there’s honestly no justification for what I’ve done. I really never want to hurt you Mari.” He said softly. Marinette felt her breathing feel steadier.

“I get it Gar. I don’t want to hide our relationship either, really I don’t. One day I promise I’ll be ready for everyone to know, but it’s just- Lila and Chat Noir-“

“I know babe.” Garfield sighed, “I honestly wish you didn’t have to deal with them. Sometimes I want to skin that idiotic cat for what he does to you.” Marinette choked out a laugh. “I’m gonna come over, is that okay?”

“Yeah Gar, how long should it take?”

“Well I’m kinda already here,” Garfield laughed nervously, “The minute I realized how bad I screwed up I asked if I could take Robin’s- well I guess Batman’s plane, and come to Paris.”

“You being so sweet is making it hard to be mad at you.”

“I’m gonna make it a little harder babe, come onto your balcony.”

Marinette placed her phone in her pocket and made her way onto the balcony. She felt the cool air caress her bare shoulders since she was in nothing but pajamas.

Garfield was standing there holding flowers and giving her a loving and apologetic look. Marinette chuckled slightly.

“I don’t deserve you.” She whispered.

“It’s the opposite Mar-bear, I screwed up today, you shouldn’t give me a second chance.” Gar said rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

“I love you, you dumb dork.” Marinette said closing the gap between them and kissing him.

Gar dropped the flowers and leaned into the kiss as he wrapped his arms around Marinette.

It was surreal, like a scene out of a movie. It was only them in that moment, no secrets to worry about.

But then their shared moment came to a grinding stop when they heard someone squeal, “What a scoop! My bestie is the one dating Garfield Logan AKA Beast Boy!”

Marinette pulled away from the kiss and mirrored Garfield’s panicked look as they slowly turned around and saw Alya filming them from below.

“Alya no!” Marinette cried, “Please don’t post that.”

“What? Why? Well, doesn’t matter because it was sort of kinda a live stream…” Alya said sheepishly.

Marinette felt a sting of horror, this could only end badly.

“Leave.” Garfield told Alya.

“What?”

“I said leave, I need to deal with this. I’m assuming you saw the news where I said we wanted the relationship to be a secret, you had no right to do that.” Garfield said with more bite than Marinette had ever heard from him.

“But I-“

“Don’t make me ask you again,” Gar growled almost releasing the part of him Marinette knew he had trouble containing. It scared poor bewildered Alya enough and she ran in the other direction.

“What’s going to happen tomorrow?” Marinette choked, the reality of what had happened catching up to her.

“I- I honestly don’t know, but please call me if anything happens. I don’t know what Adrien, Chat Noir, Lila, or your idiot classmates will try to pull...Maybe you can ask your parents to not go to school tomorrow?”

“What’s the point in that?” Marinette started to sob, “I have to go back eventually.” She started to come undone into his arms.

“I’m so sorry.” Garfield said rubbing her back in soothing circles knowing it was all his fault.

Marinette walked into DuPont hiding herself under the gazes of her fellow students, she didn’t have to be a mind reader to know they all saw the video. She kept her head down and tried to walk into Miss Bustier’s class before Adrien pulled her aside.

“Is it true?” He said with masked anger. Marinette gulped and nodded. Adrien inadvertently dug his fingers into her skin, “How could you do this to me?”

“Please Adrien, I don’t want to do th-“

“Marinette what’s it like dating a superhero?!” Asked Rose oblivious as to what Adrien was doing.

“Well-“

Mylené, Alix and Juleka followed her over. “Ooh yeah, tell us! I had no idea you were dating the Beast Boy!”

A larger crowd started to gather and Adrien still hadn’t changed positions. Marinette felt the walls closing in on her.

“How come you didn’t tell me girl? I’m your best friend!”

“Yeah Marinette, why didn’t you tell your friends?!”

“Come on, Mari you should’ve told us!”

“Ooh! Can you get me an interview for my blog?”

“I’m a big fan of Beast Boy, can you get an autograph?!”

“I’m asking as a friend so can you-“

“None of you are my friends!!!” Marinette finally blurted as she broke from Adrien’s grasp and pushed through the crowd. She subconsciously pulled out her phone and dialed Gar. She made it out of the school, felling the fresh air until she realized Adrien had followed her.

“Marinette come back we need to talk about t-“

All Marinette saw was black, the last thing she remembered were her hands shaking and then feeling off balance, so off balance.

The first thing she heard when she came to were muffled shouts and a loud ringing in her ears. Marinette opened her eyes slowly to see her Robin and Starfire getting in a fist fight with Adrien. Her eyes closed again, Garfield must’ve called them. She felt herself being carried by familiar arms and she opened her eyes once more.

“I’m taking you to the tower.” Garfield said in a low whisper. “I’m getting you out of here I promise babe.” She closed her eyes in weakness again.

Marinette woke up to see Gar sitting next to her. He engulfed her in a hug the moment she opened her eyes, “I was so worried, I’m so sorry.”

The memories came running back.

“It’s not your fault Gar.”

“It kind of is.” Garfield laughed humorlessly.

“You can’t control the people at DuPont or Adrien. It’s not like you knew Alya would take that video.” Marinette sat up in the Titan’s hospital bed.

“This wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t blabbed to a reporter, I feel like all I do is screw up.”

“Gar, I love you. No matter what you do, I'll never stop. You need to stop blaming yourself for everything.” Marinette looked into his eyes, his green ones refused to meet hers.

“If I actually took things seriously maybe-“

“I’m going to stop you right there.” Marinette huffed, “You’ve been through hell and back. The Doom Patrol… You take your job seriously, I know you do, it’s just sometimes taking things lightly is important. Most people who would’ve suffered a tragedy like you would be broody or villains...but you’re an amazing and positive hero, you inspire hope. At the end of the day you take things seriously, you’re not Chat Noir.”

“How are you so amazing?” Garfield chuckled.

“I try,” Marinette winked.

“What are you gonna do about DuPont?”

“Well...They know we’re not friends now.” Marinette laughed, “You know...I think I’m done with secrets. I’ll tell my parents the truth, Ladybug, everything. Then maybe I can be a Titan...permanently? That is if you think the team would have me…”

“Are you kidding?!” Gar beamed, “They love you almost as much as me, they’ll be all for it.”

“Then I guess I know I’m doing...No more secrets.” Marinette smiled, “At least not to the ones who matter.”

~~~~~~~~

Maribat Taglist:

@northernbluetongue

@queen-of-the-trash-planet-tm

@luciferge

@legendaryneckjudgestudent

@interobanginyourmom

@beaversuenightly

@worlds-tiniest-spook-pastry

@mochinek0

@shamefullove

@emjrabbitwolf

@actual-disaster-human

@littleredrobinhoodlum

@elijahcoser

@daminett4life

#maribat #garmari

[sardonic-courtney]

Crowley x Reader. We Met Before. P3/7

Summary: You end up living with Bobby after your parents die. You go to church and meet Priest Crowley and you end up getting along (if you know what i mean). A few years later when Bobby passes you move the the bunker with Sam and Dean and end up meeting Crowley again.

Part 1  Part 2  Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

Warnings: Mention of loss, Spelling mistakes, you go to church?

Around 2500 words.

Let’s Get Coffee.

“Yay thank you” You yelled heading up the stairs to get changed…

Training went well, although you didn’t really do much. Bobby who was still reluctant helped you to shoot inanimate objects and some basic hand to hand combat with no weapons, because in his words “you won’t always have a weapon on you so that’s the best place to start.” You are pretty sure it’s just because he is buying time before the brothers come into town so they can deal with the more athletic training. Not because Bobby wasn’t good, he was but he was quite impatient and not the best Teacher.

Time Skip to the Next Saturday Night brought to you by Juliet.

The last week consisted of a few training lessons here and there, you were starting to get really good with a gun, and to Bobby’s ‘luck’ he did some blade training and you actually weren’t half bad. Right now, you were eating takeaway, 8pm, on the sofa with Bobby watching some old tv show.

“So kid, Winchesters are coming round tomorrow. Want me to pick you up from church to save you walking so you can see the two idjits sooner, I know you miss them”. He said emphasising miss in a teasing manor.

“Oh yeah soo much” You replied rolling your eyes. “But no, I’m good, I’m actually going out after for some coffee”.

“So, you and Lena finally meeting outside of church?”

“Nope”

“Wait so who are you meeting with then? A new boyfriend of yours? If so, I want to meet him first.”

“What? No, I’m not completely sure, just a group of us meeting up after church.”

“What do you mean you don’t know. Who asked you? That old woman that lives next to the church because if so, I wouldn’t go she will just talk everyone’s ear of about her cats”

“No, the Priest actually just to share ideas about the bible after.”

“Right well err have a good time?” He replied unsure

“Thanks Bobby I’m gonna head up now and sort everything out and go to bed”

“Don’t use up all my water, I’ll see you after your coffee, call me if you want a lift.”

“will do, night”

“Night kid.”

*Beep Beep* Your alarm read 8:30 Sunday. You go up and got showered and dressed. You opted for an outfit which made you look good but it was still simple and casual, whether you were trying a bit harder because you were seeing Crowley or because the boys were coming you wouldn’t say. You grabbed an easy snack and decided to take the scenic route as you had 30 minutes to get there and you didn’t want to wait around. You arrived exactly at 9:32 and waited a few minutes before walking in, no sign of Lena anywhere, strange. Your seats however remained empty, so you sat once again on the seconded row back. Just as you received a message.

Lena- Sorry my mums not feeling well so I’ve had to take my brother to football. Hope service is good.

(Y/N)- No problem, have fun at football.

You replied before muting your phone and sliding it away just as Crowley came out.

“Good Morning…………………………………Thank you all for coming. Bless you all and I shall see you next week.”

Looking up at the clock reading 10:30, everyone stood up and headed out the door, you however being unsure of where you were going for coffee waited at the end of the pew, letting other passed. You didn’t really focus on the topic at hand but hoped you could blag your way through the teachings of rich man and Lazarus. As everyone left Crowley once again was behind you smiling.

“(Y/N) how are you?”

“Hi, I’m good thank you, how are you doing?” you reply, once again you feel strangely flustered.  

“Better now that’s over and we can go get coffee.”

“Oh yeah about that where are we meeting?”

“I was thinking the little café down 3 blocks over. Small and easy to find a table.”

“Mrs Wolowitz’s?”

“Yes, That’s it”

“I think I know the way; well you better go, and I’ll meet you guys there” You say about to head off.

“I’m sorry love, you must be mistaken I meant just the two of us. If that’s alright”

“Yeah no sorry that more the fine, I just assumed.” You stuttered out. You hadn’t meant to jump to a conclusion but that seemed more likely then just you two going out for coffee. Alone in a small café. Damn it (Y/N) stop thinking again.

“Do you want to follow me in my car? In case you get lost?”

“Oh um.” You awkwardly laughed. “I actually walk here so I’ll get it up on my phone”

“No, no don’t be stupid you’re going in my car.”

“I wouldn’t want to intrude”

“No come on let’s go.”

The car ride was short and pretty much silent but not awkward. You were nervous but also happy you weren’t going to be stuck with a bunch of old Christians arguing about meanings. Before you got out the car, he took his clerical collar of leaving him in a normal black shirt. You got out, got a table and ordered your drinks, and reluctantly allowed Crowley to pay.

“So, Y/N how did you find todays service?” Crowley asked looking straight at you for an answer.

“Oh um, it was good” you replied suddenly feeling nervous and unsure of how to answer. You were sat in a café, with an attractive Pastor whose stare seemed to go straight through you.

“Anything to add? Any views on the passage?” Crowley said seeming slightly distracted.

“Not really no. Sorry maybe you start an idea and I’ll add?”

“I don’t really have any either, well to be honest with you I would rather get to know you then your views on the bible.”

“Me?” you smiled, this just got better now it’s apparent you probably aren’t going to be sat discussing the bible over the next half hour or so.

“Yes you” he replied a small smile resting on his lips.

“Well what do you want to know?” you didn’t really know what sort of thing to tell him so thought it best to just ask.

“Well how about we play a game?”

“A game?”

“Yes, a game, you know an activity one engages in for fun?” his smile turning slightly into a smirk.

“Oh, thanks I didn’t know what a game was, what sort of game?”

“I ask a question and you ask one back?” he paused “if you would like, if you wanted to sit around and talk about bibles, we could ask biblical ones”

“No normal questions are fine; you can start since I don’t know what games are” you say sarcastically.

Just then the waiter came and delivered your drinks, nodding his head slightly at your companion before he left. You took a sip of your drink as Crowley moved on; this wasn’t what you though this evening would be but it’s definitely an improvement.

“If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?”

“(Y/A) {your answer}”

“Why?”

“It just seems perfect. I could see myself walking around and just admiring everything there you know?”

“Well hopefully one day you’ll go.” Crowley took a sip of his steaming drink and returned to looking at you. Really looking at you, it was weird, like he was genuinely interested in what you were saying. “I’ve been a few times and I must say the {landmark} is beautiful to visit.”

“One day I will see it, anyway you seem like you’ve been to loads of places where have you been?”

“Pretty much everywhere, I do enjoy travelling.”

“wow, I wish” you sigh out.

“Do you travel?”

“Not really, when I was younger me and my parents would move around America but that stopped a while ago.”

“Oh, how come?”

“They died so I moved in with my godfather and haven’t left town since, I know if he could we would go but he needs to stay here for work and everything and now I’m blabbing on again sorry.” You said it more as a fact mentally ready for the normal oh I’m sorry and what happened and are you okay to come.

“No don’t apologise I’m interested and I’m sorry to hear about them but your godfather sounds like a good man, and maybe one day you can travel again, maybe even the world, what do you plan on being in the future?”

“Definitely the plan, and I’m not sure yet. What about you have you always dreamed of being a pastor?”

“No, definitely not. I’m only a substitute pastor anyway if there’s such a thing.”

“what do you do then when you’re not?”

“I guess you could say I’m a businessman, I mainly make deals and such.”

“oh, is that why you always travel?” You say looking down at your drink and sipping.

“Exactly why my job requires a lot of popping to places. Now if you will humour me, I’m curious, you go to church but don’t seem completely religious, is that so?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t mean to offend you, but I notice you zoning out during teaching and you just seem… I don’t know how to put it.”

“Well if I’m honest I’m not sure about it really. The whole believing in God thing. I mean I’m sure he’s there, but I don’t think there’s much he can do.”

“So why go?”

“Well my mum used to always take me and well it makes me feel closer to her, I’m sorry if that offends you.”

“Not at all, not at all” he said a slight smirk on his face again.

This was weird, not in a bad way but weird. As the time passed, he started to become even less like a pastor and more like a friend. You continued sharing random stories finding out how he grew up in Scotland and all about his random like and dislikes. He was a nice guy and you no longer felt nervous. Time went by and you both ordered another drink. Now your cups were sitting empty and you were discussing what the best era would be to live through, when your phone beeps.

12:51

Bobby: Hey, hows the discussions going, what time do you think your going to leave I dont know if I can deal with them alone any longer and theyve only been here 3 hours as it is.

You: oh, sorry I didn’t realise the time, um ill finish my drink and leave soon. Tell them I say hi.

You slid your phone into you pocket and looked back up at Crowley. Wow you had been sat talking for over two hours.

“Everything okay?” he asked

“Yeah everything is fine just didn’t realise the time. Sorry I’m going to have to go in a minuet I have guests over and completely forgot.”

“No problem, would you like a lift back?”

“I can walk it’s fine.”

“Please at least let me drop you of at the church, I need to pick up some things there anyway.”

“Okay.”

With that the two of you got back into his car and arrived back at the church both getting out and standing in the completely deserted parking lot.

“Thank you for the lift, and the drinks.” You smiled checking you had everything and looking up at him.

“No problem I had a good time, and maybe if you would like I could get your number and we could do it again sometime, get to know each other a bit more, maybe over some food.”

If you didn’t know any better it would sound like a date offer, in fact part of you wishes it had been but pastors don’t date, do they?

“Yeah sounds good today was fun.” You grab your phone pulling up your number.

“I’m sorry that may not have been clear enough” he said looking at your phone and entering your number into his. “I was referring to going out on a date.”

“But you’re a priest?” you blurt out before thinking. Mentally slapping your head.

“A substitute priest love, and like you I don’t hold religion too close to my heart” he said chuckling and putting his phone away.

“Well in that case that sounds great. I better start heading back but text me.”

“I will, safe walk home, if you’re sure you don’t want a lift.”

“I’m sure, goodbye Crowley”

“Goodbye Y/N”

And with that you left. What just happened?

*Times Skip Home*

You walk through the door into the lounge greeted with the boys and bobby drinking beers and talking, coming to a halt when you walked in.

“Y/N, hey how have you been” Sam asks looking up at you smiling. Before you could answer Dean butted it.

“Y/N Bobby here tells us you’ve been out talking about the bible, please tell me you haven’t it’s like half one.”

“Nice to see you to Dean, and no I haven’t I met with a friend. I’m great thank you Sam, how are you?” you reply going to sit down before realising a pair of legs in the way. “Deans move your legs”

Reluctantly he swung them over the coffee table allowing you to sit down.

“Good thank you” you’re not sure if Sam would have continued but bobby spoke up.

“A friend? You said you were meeting with a group of you, lying, now are we?”

“what? No, I just got a bit confused we were going to talk about the service but we got distracted. But what’s more important is what you two have been up to.” You reply casually leaving out the fact you had spent the last two hours with a male and had half planned a date.

“No, what’s more important is you are 18. And we have something for you.” Sam said poking his head around Dean.

“Sammy’s right Dean said pulling something out his duffle bag. It was neatly wrapped and slightly battered around the edges. Sam definitely wrapped it.

“Guys you shouldn’t have.” You said unwrapping it. At first you saw a leather-bound book. It was bound with a rope wrapped around and decorated with a light house on the front.

“Open it up (Y/N/N)” Sam said.

Unwinding the rope, you opened it up to find postcards and pictures from the boys, all in Sam’s writing.

“We, well I thought you could have a journal to note down anything you want its always good to have one. The postcards and stuff are from each of the places me and Dean have been. We knew you wanted to go, and you always want to here stories so I thought it would be a good way to make it seem like you were there.”

“Sam it perfect thank you so much.” You stood up and hugged him before taking a seat back down noticing Dean had a scruffier package in his hand.

Accepting it and opening it Dean began.

“I’m not as thoughtful as Sam but I saw this, and thought would like it.”

It was a rope necklace with a stone on the end. Under the stone was a small piece of card with a handwritten message explaining the stones properties of protection and healing. You read it and put it on twiddling the stone in your fingers (You can change stone to your liking).

“It’s beautiful Dean thank you very much” you say leaning over to hug him.

“I’m glad” he says pulling back smiling.

The evening goes on, you order food and joke with each other, Bobby leaving to go to bed and the three of you falling asleep sprawled out on the couch and armchair around 11pm

Wow that was long and mainly build up, but don’t worry romance will be in the next one.  I hope you enjoyed this though, thanks for reading.

#crowley #Crowley Supernatural #crowley x reader #crowley x you #crowley x y/n #y/n #supernatural #supernatural x reader #xreader

[beautifuldarkmind]

tw // s*lf harm, su*cidal ideation (sorry)

Hey, it’s the creepy NHS anon here.

Thank you for responding to my ask! I’m sorry you had such a rough time getting a diagnosis. You shouldn’t have had to go through all of that. Honestly it sucks that the NHS is so reluctant to diagnose anything mental health related.

When I was 14 I thought I had depression and anxiety. I finally convinced my mum to take me to the doctors when I was 16. The doctor was super nice. She tested my thyroid function just to make sure nothing else was causing my feelings, then referred me to CAMHS. That was…an interesting experience. I remember asking my counsellor to diagnose me, but then at the next session she said she couldn’t, that it “wouldn’t be helpful” because I was still growing. Now that I think about it, one of the days I was at school and during a class I was furious for some reason. I even said to a classmate that I was willing to fight anyone who got in my way. Despite my mum disagreeing with me, I cancelled my appointment that day. (My mum was worried they’d stop my sessions all together if I cancelled, but they didn’t.)

Fast toward to recent years and I’ve been on and off attempting to get a diagnosis. Last year (so when I was about 18) I asked to be referred to the autism clinic, and thankfully the GP accepted, but the clinic is still closed and even when it’s open I’ll still have to wait, possibly several years. Then I made another appointment (different GP) to be referred to a psychiatrist. She refused, saying that GPs are trained to deal with mental health issues. I brought up OCD, so she asked where I got my information from. When I told her I researched it online, she just brushed it off and then did the typical depression/anxiety test and she said both were severe, then said “take some drugs” (which is didn’t because I didn’t trust taking drugs prescribed by someone who did a 3 minute yes/no type quiz without actually fully exploring my issues).

I spoke to a different GP just over a month ago to get a fit note for my Universal Credit. It was supposed to just be to make adjustments to what I was supposed to do, but he didn’t ask what the note was for, so he marked unfit for work. Which is great because that’s secretly what I wanted but feared being judged by people around me for thinking I needed that (particularly my parents). I mentioned that I thought I could have OCD and CPTSD, and he didn’t deny it but he simply said CBT helps for both. He then asked if I was currently doing CBT and I said I’d done it before but I quit. (That’s a whole other story but tldr I really don’t think it was for me, or at least the “therapist” wasn’t.) He said he would send a self referral link.

Fast forward to a few days ago and I had another appointment with him to discuss my fit note (because it only lasts for a month and you have to go back to renew it, which sucks). He asked if I had referred myself to CBT and I said I hadn’t yet because I didn’t want to, and he said “please do that for me” in a somewhat stern voice. I then brought up BPD and I think he said he would refer me? Honestly I was a bit overwhelmed because he called 40 mins early and I was in the car with my dad, so I was super weary of him asking questions about what I was saying to the doctor (but he didn’t). He then brought up PD support groups, which I’m considering doing, but you have to call up the place and I literally hate phone calls. Oh, speaking of which, all the appointments from the autism one onwards were all on the phone, so not only was I struggling to process what they were saying to me most of the time, but I was also so anxious that I couldn’t articulate my feelings properly. :)

Anyways, I am 20 now, which I only mention because I feel the same as what you mentioned. My brother is married, my childhood crush is married, my friend who I introduced to my friend group who then proceeded to discard me is getting married. Everyone seems to know exactly what they’re doing. They all have friends. But not me. I haven’t had friends since I was 14, and even then I don’t think that friend group was entirely wholesome. They made me feel like an outcast, like I was weird, that I needed to be more like them and not be like me. Which has probably contributed to me having a very vague sense of identity. And I feel like I’m still 14 and yet everyone is expecting me to behave like an adult. I’m supposed to know what I’m doing with my life even tho I literally cried in the shop when I was pressured to choose between 2 pizzas.

I have no support system. My own parents seem very dismissive of my problems, equating everything to social anxiety. When I’m stressed out of mind to the point of feeling suicidal, my parents say “that’s just life”, which…well, feeds into the feelings. For years I’ve felt stressed. Then if I’m not stressed I feel absolutely nothing. And if I’m not feeling empty I am angry, sometimes for no reason. And if I’m not angry, I am curled in a ball trying to bottle up the urge to self harm and batting away suicidal thoughts.

It’s like I have a huge chain pulling me down underwater and everyone else is in the beach drinking cocktails or something. Sometimes I thrash and try to get people to notice, but people think I’m just having fun. Other days I just feel like letting the chain pull me down.

Please forgive me for rambling and probably not having a very consistent train of thought in this post. I have a tendency to blab on about my “problems” (if they even are that), I guess as a way to connect? Idk. This post makes no sense.

I hope you’re having a good day. <3

- 🌸✨ (in case I send another ask again, but I’ll try not to because I don’t wanna bother you)

So sorry you're going through something similar. My GP sounded exactly how yours was, the typical anxiety/depression test and then just throwing those at you.. they dont seem to be trained in diagnosing and they dont want to hear anything more either. It's honestly almost impossible getting a diagnosis through them, the system here is really messed up... its just disappointing and seems to be failing so many people including you.

It does sound like you're going through a hard time, it's not nice especially when you feel a loss of self identity, you dont even know who you are and just feel lost in life. I think that was definitely the main point of realising something was up.. I had a VERY distorted view of myself and others around me and that was why I'd often self sabotage everything and then I'd feel so empty and angry at the world and just explode...

If you can go privately then do so, therapists are not able to diagnose and they will usually tell you 'we don't like to label' but even without a diagnosis you can still see if you can access DBT therapy. Amazon also has lots of DBT workbooks that I've used and its helped me to really understand myself!

If you often feel invalidated by your parents then that is known to cause BPD or borderline traits, especially if you've been suffering with mental illness in childhood and they tried to claim that it was nothing....you mentioned anxiety and I was told the approach my parents may have took to my severe anxiety is what brought on many of my symptoms of BPD. You start to feel ashamed of yourself for feeling that way because your caregivers make it seem like the issue isnt important and you feel as if your feelings dont matter also because that is how you have been made to feel.

I'm not saying this is definitely the cause but in my case I was told that the constant feeling of invalidation may be why I have such a warped idea of myself and why I cannot regulate my emotions. I was never told HOW to regulate or shown how to, just told to ignore my emotions and now I dont know how to deal with them😀

but yeah I'd really recommend taking a look at some of those dbt books online or reading more into it so you have a better understanding of yourself. You've already taken the first step and that's identifying that something may be wrong so you are self aware and clearly want to change for the better 💕

I hope everything works out for you, it's not nice feeling this way but you've got this 🥺🙌

#ask #bpd #borderline personality disorder #tw

[hoeiplier]

pls remember to add slashes or % in the names!! i dont want any kiddies finding these fics ;w; also,,,,,lowkey ship this ship super badly owo -- mod ghostie

also sorry unedited as always shdfkgdflgkj

ALSO THIS GOT KINDA FLUFFY???? FORGIVE ME SKJFGHSKD YALL HERE FOR FUCKIN NOT LOVIN

IM ALSO REALLY PROUD OF THIS SO LIKE???? PLS TELL ME WHAT YALL THINK AAAAA 

///

“You dumbass!” Yancy rushed to hide Illinois from the nearby guards, pushing him into his cell, knowing the guards never checked for him in here. Hell, the moment they could leave their cells in the morning, Yancy was gone. You couldn’t keep him in there if his life depended on it.

Well, unless it was for one certain thing.

“Oh, someone’s been feisty since I last saw you,” Illinois smirks. stealing a kiss from Yancy. Passionate, romantic, his hand losing itself in his slicked back locks of hair, groaning at the taste of black coffee on his lips.

“Well yeahs, it’s been months. That’s not the point--” Yancy pants. the kiss nearly taking him out. How did this bastard have such soft lips after spending months in a jungle?!

“The points is youse nearly got caught, I told you if youse gonna sneak in, you oughta go the way I showed youse. Not this adventurer bullsh--”

Illinois walked into Yancy, the two near the back of the cell, pinning him down, the natural scent of the outside world on him, his knee in between Yancy’s legs, nudging against his slowly hardening cock.

The prisoner couldn’t hold back the groan, it’s been too long since he’s seen his boyfriend. Too long since he held him, since he kissed him, since he...

“You know I can’t keep my hands off of you when I visit,” Illinois’s accent drawls through Yancy’s head. Nearly hypnotizing. His hand gripping his chin, making him tilt, looking straight into his eyes. “It’s been months and months without you, babe. I get real lonely without you by my side. Some nights I just couldn’t take it, remembering you, your lips, your body...”

Illinois wastes no time, leaning forward with another passionate kiss. Groaning deeply, Yancy finally giving in, thrusting slowly against Illinois’s knee. Heart pounding as he feels the other open his mouth, deepening their kiss. Open mouthed, tongues dancing against each other. Yancy nearly driven drunk by his need to feel his most favorite person in the world against him again.

“Fuck...”

“Yeah,  we finally will,” Illinois chuckles, low and deep, “C’mon babe, let’s get a move on here before your cellmate makes it back.”

///

Their clothes still stayed on, Yancy holding his shirt up by biting down, exposing his chest and throbbing cock, his striped sweats folded neatly beside them, rolling his hips back against Illinois’s hard cock in between his cheeks. 

Illinois kept his shirt open, his cock the only thing peeking out from his pants. Biting his own lip, his hands roaming over Yancy’s hip, over his thighs trembling above him. His eyes wide, shining with adoration for the man above him. Smiling as he tilts his head to the side.

“Babe, fuck...” Illinois groaned, “no matter how many times I see you above me, it still takes my breath away...”

Yancy leaned forward, smirking back as he lays over the adventurer. His voice low, accent heavy, “no matter how many times I see youse, I still get nervous,” he chuckles, reaching around to hold Illinois’s cock in place, his hips lifting up, his own member drooling pre cum down Illinois’s flat stomach.

The two crashing their lips in a deep kiss, moaning into each other’s mouths, as Yancy finally sunk himself down onto Illinois’s cock. The slick lube making him slide down each inch at an even pace. Nearly knocking the wind from his lungs, finally, finally, being filled again. Feeling Illinois moan, their kiss deepening, his ass finally sat fully on his cock. Breaking the kiss, panting softly.

“You’re beautiful.” Illinois moaned, his hands gripping Yancy’s ass, lifting him up with ease, “so fucking good to me, babe...”

///

Yancy was thankful this cellblock was empty, every other inmate during whatever they do in the late mornings. His thoughts soon replaced with the mere pleasure he felt as Illinois fucked into him, holding him tight, hips thrusting up into the heat of his body, pre cum making a mess of his pants as he fucks his lover nice and hard.

“So good to me, so perfect for me,” Illinois continues to sweet talk, Yancy’s back arched, eyes barely open as his moans loudly. Each thrust of Illinois’s thick cock hitting his most sensitive spot head on. Each thrust up into him nearly driving him mad, pleasure shooting up his spine as he’s fucked.

“Youse feel...hah,” Yancy laughed, biting his lip as Illinois drags Yancy down, biting down his jawline and neck. The smell of sex filling the cell, “feel so good in me, God, youse feel so fucking good...I missed youse so much...”

Illinois slowed this thrusts, fucking into Yancy with harder movements, his cock deeper than before, letting the other roll his hips. His inner walls tight around his thick shaft, rolling his hips slow, his own cock leaking down Yancy’s front.

“I missed you more, babe, all I could think about was you,” Illinois continues to kiss and bite down Yancy’s neck, his heated breath making the prisoner shiver under his hold, continuing to rock down on his cock, “every cold night in my tent, every early morning, every hike, every climb, all I could think of was you, fuck, I missed you so so so much. I missed us so much, I love you--”

Yancy reaches forward, grabbing Illinois’s face, catching his lips, a deep passionate kiss. Just as romantic as the ones they always shared when meeting again.

Until Yancy raises up, and slams back down on Illinois’s cock, riding him fast and hard, Each hit to his sweet spot making him see stars. Illinois arching into the kiss, grabbing Yancy by his hair, groaning as their bodies rock into one another. The all familiar heat building in them both.

“I love you, Love youse so much,” Yancy groans in between kisses, “love youse, love your body, love your voice, love everything about you.”

Illinois grips Yancy’s ass, spreading him wide, groping his cheeks as Yancy continues to fuck himself on his cock. Their bodies hot to the touch, just barely at the edge of their orgasms. The bunk bed above them shaking with their efforts, the two completely focused on one another’s needs.

“Can’t hold back, gonna fucking--”

“Cum with me,” Illinois kisses him once more, bucking his hips up to meet Yancy’s drops on his shaft. His hand moving from his soft ass to his cock. Clumsily jerking off the prisoner in time with his thrusts. So close, each call of his name, each deep kiss, each thrust and drop down on one another...

“Cum with me, Yancy, please babe, cum with me,” Yancy growls, kissing Yancy with all he’s got, “please babe, just please cum with me! Please, I need you, babe, please!”

With a shout, Yancy slams back down on Illinois’s throbbing cock, the two breaking their kiss, Yancy arching up as he shouts out Illinois’s name. Eyes closed tight, his cock spurting cum across Illinois’s exposed stomach and chest. Completely lost in his own pleasure as he still rolls his hips on Illinois’s cock. FIlling him up with his hot white cum.

And yet, Illinois -- in his own longing orgasm, can’t take his eyes off how beautiful his lover looked. Completely satisfied and spent, Illinois couldn’t have found him more beautiful.

///

“...I love you.”

“Youse told me at least 4,000 times.” Yancy laughs, the two snuggled under Yancy’s sheets. The cellblock still empty as can be, the nearest guard nowhere within earshot nor sight.

“And I’ll tell ‘youse’ 4,000 more.” Illinois teased, bringing the arm squeezing him tight to his face, kissing his knuckles soft and sweet.

“...Illi?”

“Yeah?”

“...tell me about it out there, is it still scary?”

Silence follows the two, Illinois turning around to face Yancy, his expression a mix of nervous and sleepy. Of course he was, Yancy was always a blabbing mess before sleep. Even back when they were cellmates, Illinois remembers he’d speak whatever little thought passed his mind.

“Well, I’ll tell ya that the wilderness is probably the best place to be right now. Especially the mountains, I’m gonna be heading north after this. I know you don’t like leaving here...maybe we can try to go next time I visit you? ...Please?”

Another silence follows the two. Yancy sleepily smiles, pulling Illinois into a soft kiss. A kiss that seemed bittersweet, knowing once he wakes up, Illinois will be off in the world exploring once more. 

“...Yeah...I think I’d likes that, Illi...”

#SORRY LFJGJ #this took like 2 and a half hours to write #can u tell i would die for this ship #mod ghostie #ghostie writes #jailbird #assventurer

[skywillsometimeswrite]

pls tell me abt ur ocs

*looks at my giant list of OCs* ...where do i start?

Welp I have an idea that I’ve been wanting to discuss for a while and kind of did during Nonbinary Week and I will gladly use this as an excuse to talk about it so thank you very much anon (genuinely thank you I didn’t actually expect to get any asks about my OC when I reblogged that sjkfhfljh)

I’ll put this under a read more so if people aren’t interested they dont have to hear me blabbing on about my characters

I’m going to be talking about 5 characters but I’m not gonna like… go too deep into them cause that involves delving into some more personal matters that if I were to ever fully share them I would need to give each of them their own posts. And they also have what I call 3 arcs… which again, I would have to discuss in their own posts.

These characters are who I call my “Editors.” They are characters that have never faded, so to speak, like other characters do, and were created as I went through pivotal parts in my life. When I was younger I attributed them to helping write my stories and I’ll talk about that a little bit, but I’ve also formed this narrative around them as they have existed. So right here I’ll discuss their first arcs the most.

(I’d like to point out since it’s important to the overall narrative that their collective stories exist inside my own mind or creative space. As such, since fandom is an important part of my creative upbringing, all of my Editors save for one (kinda) have a tie to one specific fandom but can span across multiple. They aren’t self-inserts, but they are OCs that existed within a canon of one or another fandom piece that also directly connect to their own stories.)

So let’s start with Sarasona Nova. She is the “Original” Editor (she technically isn’t but that isn’t here nor there right now). As she stood in the place of my persona for many, many years she has earned her spot to be one of the heads of storytelling. I contribute mostly plotlines and ideas to her because more often than not, if it makes sense it comes from her. She is the level headed one out of any of the Editors. She starts out pretty sweet, before any of the other Editors come along, but then she has her first true experience with fandom and she becomes very negative and critical towards it. The only reason she offered any story ideas for fanfics back then was because all of my motivation was towards it. This evolves further in the story into full on obsession with controlling stories and characters and everything having to be exact and perfect.

At first this doesn’t cause problems, not even when the second Editor comes into the picture: Dream/Dimension Ruler, or DR as I refer to him (his name has always been fuzzy). When DR first came into existence his purpose was to create settings and scenes for Sara’s stories to play out in, as well as be this caretaker almost for the out-of-use characters. He and Sara work together on a lot of things and are both fairly excitable people when it comes to creating, but Sara is more focused on the current story while DR is looking at the potential in others. He is perfectly fine with his role until he wants to start creating and telling his own stories, which Sara shoots down. She writes the stories, she’s the leader, she tells him what to make. Over time, this really breaks DR down and he slowly becomes less eccentric and enthusiastic in his creations or his personality. He stops looking after characters not being used, and over time they do start to fade into nonexistence. A character that hasn’t been totally neglected notices DR’s vulnerable state and decides to use this to her advantage.

This is Manipulator, or Mani as I call her. Mani is a character that was created for a specific fanfic that actually eventually gave way to a larger original story and left her’s almost abandoned. She didn’t even have a name. At this point characters were supposed to figure themselves out, name and personality wise unless they were able to be fit into a story where things were figured out for them. Since Mani didn’t have a story anymore, she was kind of left on the wayside, no matter how often she bothered Sara for something, anything, to work with or do. Mani decided she wanted to be an Editor, maybe even the lead Editor. DR had been trying to help her and Mani decides to help him in return, by trying to take down Sara and everything she’s ever created. Through her namesake, she manages to become an Editor in direct rivalry to Sara. She became responsible for the conflict in stories, becoming the main antagonist of Sara’s story. 

And her biggest contribution to this was through getting rid of the Editor Glitch. Glitch was this “broken” character that came into existence. Sara was confused by them, asking them their name, and didn’t get anything in return. Sara thought they were a mistake or something, since most characters usually have something to go off of to begin with but Glitch had nothing. After a while, it was revealed that Glitch was the Editor for characters and their creation. They were every character at once in every story while they themself were barely sentient. They both understood emotions and didn’t comprehend them at all, wanted to save the world while also wanting to end it, could kill without hesitation while also not being able to hurt a fly. This caused them to be almost robot-like, where they knew every single possible reaction to a given scenario and would choose the safest option by not reacting or reacting in what they would assume to be the most logical manner. Mani manages to trick them and trap them into a specific fandom that only had one main story that kept changing. They got caught up in this ever changing story and eventually became a character themselves in it, and them fully taking over a character for themselves became a part of the story. 

That eventually leads into the second arc of their current stories. But amidst the third arc the last (current) Editor arrives in the form of Skylar Roch. Sky pretty much came out of nowhere in context of characters, and was practically shoved into the role of Lead Editor, much to Sara’s dismay and Mani’s amusement. Sky does their best to help the other Editors, including Sara, with all their issues but is filled with their own as they try to juggle this responsibility that they were thrust into without any knowledge of how to do it. Sara is resentful towards Sky and tries to point out that she should still be Lead Editor, meanwhile Mani, DR, and Glitch are all pointing out the awful stuff she did to them as Lead Editor.

Eventually, they do get a happy ending. At least… currently. Their stories continue on for as long as I live, so we’ll see, I suppose.

This is a lot longer than I meant for it to be and I have barely scratched the surface of these characters and this story. Maybe one day I’ll write it and post it, alongside the fanfics that go hand in hand with them. But for now, that day is not today.

Still, thank you tons for giving me an excuse to babble on about these guys!

#this is 1.3k words #because i have no chill #sky asks #oc:mani #oc:sarasona #oc:dr #oc:glitch #oc:sky #work:me against myself #Anonymous

[angrylizardjacket]

the motley fool thus morals on the time {Ben Hardy/Reader/Roger Taylor}

Summary: 70s!Roger has met 2018!Roger. He doesn’t talk about it a lot.

A/N: 977 words. REAL SHORT. takes place in the ben/reader/roger universe but ben’s not in it, i just wrote a lot about him anyways. so let’s talk about the logistics of time travel. also no this wasn’t requested but it came to me and i had to write it. it’s not necessarily angsty, just existential.

Roger complains a lot about the present, or as he calls it, The Future, which, for the first few months of his arrival was pretty well warranted, and after that, it just become a habit.

“You know, I could get a deck of cigs for less than forty-five p. back in seventy two.” He’s on the balcony of your shared apartment, rolling himself a cigarette as the two of you sat and watched the sunset. Ben’s in the shower, and Roger’s balancing his pouch of tobacco on his knees. “Everything’s so expensive nowadays.” His voice is a grumble as he leans to lick along the edge of the paper, rolling up the cigarette and putting it between his lips.

“They’re trying to stop you smoking; it’ll kill you.” Tucking yourself up beside him, you rest your head on his shoulder, eyes on the golden glow of the horizon, red light bleeding out from the sinking sun and going on to stain the sky violet. 

“I’ve heard rolling your own is better for you.” He lights the cigarette and leans back against the seat, throwing an arm around you. ”It’s not like I know what havoc this time travel shit with wreak on me, I’m just tryna keep myself alive in the downtime.”

“You’re still smoking.” You point out, and he takes a long draft. The air is cool between you, the first of the twilight stars peering out overhead.

“It’s called an addiction, sweetheart,” Roger says, voice tight, before he exhales fully, “‘least it is nowadays.” He’s in a mood, and though he doesn’t get like this often, it’s easy to tell, especially when you call him out on it and he doesn’t immediately dismiss it. “I could smoke whatever I want,” he muses into the silence he’s created, “it’s not like I don’t survive.” 

You don’t have an answer for that because, well, there’s unequivocal proof that he’s right.

“I’ve met him, you know.” He says, tipping his head to rest gently on yours, before taking another draft and flicking his ashes onto the ground where he’d sweep them off the balcony later. 

“Who?” 

“Me.” It’s blunt, and warrants some type of response, but for the life of you, you can’t seem to fathom one. “The me from now, that is; I didn’t just look in a mirror and go mad for a few minutes.” He’s surprisingly blase about the whole ordeal, and you match his tone easily.

“Sounds like you came close.” He gives you a gentle shove at your words, snickering, but his expression soon sobers as he slips back into being contemplative. “How come you never told us? Did it go alright?” You ask, gentle, and Roger chuckles.

“If it went alright you’d think I’d be blabbing about it, or the old bastard would be here with us now,” he tsked loudly, sitting up a little straighter and shaking his head, “I don’t know when he got his balls cut off but the me that I know wouldn’t pass up this,” and he gestures to himself, indignant at the very memory of his future-self rejecting him, “I mean, who would know how to fuck me better than me?” He has a point, but you’re not going to give him the satisfaction of agreeing.

“You tried... to seduce yourself?” You asked, a little incredulous.

“Never got that far.” Roger grumbled, taking another draft. Silence once again stretches between the two of you; there’s more to the story, of this you’re sure, so for now you’re content to sit and wait as the sky grows steadily darker above you. “First thing he said was that ‘this is what those two kids meant’; did you and Ben go talk to him?” He asked, and you hummed thoughtfully.

“After the first time you disappeared,” you admit, and he hums, low and thoughtful, “we were worried, you know? Thought if anyone would know anything it would be, well, you.”

“He doesn’t remember anything, probably never will.” Roger says, and he can feel when you shift to look at him. “It’s not because he’s old or anything, or maybe, ‘s not like I’d know, he was bloody unrecognisable if I’m being honest.” Roger isn’t one to rant like this, not so seriously, not without humour, it was strange. His gaze was fixed on the horizon. “It’s a side effect of all of this, the memory thing that is; when I go back, it’s like I never left, like as soon as I’m brought here, time freezes back in the seventies, but the universe or whatever, it locks away all my memories of this, the future, probably so I don’t screw up the past.” He mused.

“But you remember us when you come back.” It’s difficult to wrap your mind around all of this, but he gives your shoulder a firm squeeze, knowing your trying.

“Only takes me about ten minutes now, to remember where I am, how to find you lot.” He laughs, and it sounds a little fond, enough to ease the tension in your chest that his ranting had caused. You didn’t like to see him like this, you wouldn’t begrudge him for it, but it made you worry. “It’s weird, you know, remembering that I’d forgotten everything, and then trying to see how far forward I’ve jumped this time; I wish time ‘d stand still here too.”

“The world waits for you.” You say softly, and he hums, pressing a kiss to your temple.

“On occasion.” He agrees. “Meeting me from now made me realise something though,” and he sounds a little forlorn when he says it, and he stubs out his cigarette in the ash tray beside the sofa.

“What’s that?” You asked, and there’s was a long moment of silence. He can’t look at you.

“That one day I must just stop coming back.”

#roger taylor #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor x reader #ben hardy x reader x roger taylor #queen #queen imagine #queen imagines #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #bo rhap #borhap imagine #borhap cast #borhap cast imagine #bohemian rhapsody imagine #the angry lizard writes

[el-dibidibidorado1]

Untamed Pt.7

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x plus size MASTERLIST

A/n: sorry for the late update! I hope you guys had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

"Y/N?!"

Noooooo it's my day off! Pulling the blankets over my head and rolled over.

"Y/N?!" Noooooooo.

"Y/N!" Angrily I sit up and bring the blanket down. My eyes open and....... What the fuck? There is a Christmas tree in the middle of my room?! Oh my god there is a real pine tree in the middle of my room!

Slowly, I crawl out of my bed and sit In front of the tree. The smell filled my nose heavenly and the ornaments.......looked familiar. Except for this one, a turtle dove? My fingers softly touch the dove. Who put this here? All of this.

"Y/N" Mom and Ed open my door with scared and angry expressions.

"Someone broke i-" mom looked at the Christmas tree and looked back at me then back at the tree.

"Ta-ta da" I nervously say and extend my arms out.

"I don't know if I should ask how this got here?" Ed pointed at the tree.

"Good. Cause I don't know how either" they both came in and sat next to me looking at the tree. It's beautiful. Whoever placed it here is amazing. Creepy, but amazing.

"It smells amazing" all of us take a deep breath, taking in the wonderful smell. Who knows how long we sat there just looking at the tree.

"Who wants pancakes?" I asked.

"Me" Mom said touching the turtle dove

"This is new" I nod my head and take it down.

"Usually there is two. One for a friend and one to keep, but here we have one."

"Should we freak out about all of this?" Ed questioned. I feel like if I should, but I don't. Why? Why can't I freak out about this?

"Oooh these are nice!" I look at Ed playing with some sunglasses. The sunglasses! I forgot to give them to Bucky! Aw man!

"Take those off! They are a gift to someone!" I get up and take them off his huge head.

"WHO?" He asked childish, putting his hands to the side.

"Someone special" I place them in the desk.

"Well I'm going to make the pancakes, get ready we're going to grandma's" we all got up and went out separate ways. Getting my clothes ready I head to the shower. The marks are gone but now there is a scar left behind, make up will do.

With no care I put my music on and get in the shower. I have gone back to showering once a one or twice times a day and it is fine, still feel dirty, but I can't let it get to me.

I let the music take over me and begin singing while washing my hair.

~send you my love on a wire~

~lift you up every time~

~everyone oooooooooo~

The thought of someone breaking in kinda scared me, and the thought of someone placing it in my room while I was sleeping made it worst. Holy shit! I mean the tree is beautiful, but who could have put it in there it's super heavy, and so quietly too. Rosie and Caroline know that I wanted a really tree for Christmas! Them bitches will give me socks or something they dont want. They are out.

A real Christmas tree is all I wanted! But who did I also mentioned that I wanted one. Then the realization hit me like a bowling ball hitting a pin.

"BUCKY!" I yell and open my eyes making soap get in. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck that stings. I hurry and get the soap off and finish my shower in a speedy.

Quickly I dry my body and comb my hair. I should have known from the beginning that it was him. My stomach began to get butterflies as I thought about Bucky bringing a pine tree into my house quietly. He gave me a real Christmas tree for Christmas!

"Mom! I need to go somewhere can I get the car?!" I yelled running down the stairs.

"Is 12:37 we need to be at grandmas at 2" she was still making pancakes.

"I'll be back super duper fast!" She gave me her serious look. Come on, please.

"Please I need to go" I gave her my best puppy eyes. Fall for them, fall for them! She threw me the keys, happily I gave her a kiss and ran out. As i raced to Bucky's place I began trying to wrap the sunglasses. That's it! Is that all I am going to really give him! NO! I need to buy him something else! Should I just wait? Or give him the sunglasses?

"Nope! I'm waiting!" Getting out of the car I slip on ice but manage to get a hold of the car door. Getting myself together I go and knock on his door.

Knock knock knock!

I wait for 10 minutes but he doesn't answer. Ugh he's not home! I hit my head against the door. After a couple of seconds I get in the car and head straight home. What did I expect? he has family, duh. Getting home I literally flop myself on the couch.

"Where were you?" Ed asked me.

"Hukmmmmmm" my face was squished against the pillow.

"Huh?"

"I know who gave meee the tree!!!!" Shouted into the pillow. He sat next to me and put a hand on my back.

"His name is Bucky Barnes." He just hummed.

"Ed say something?"

"What do I say?"

"I dont know?! Something?!"

"Is he different?" I nod

"Is he like the other guys?" I shake my head

"Have you....you know?" I shake my head again. I lift my head and look at the destroyed artificial tree. A little chuckle escaped me thinking about Bucky just trying to get all the ornaments.

"How did you guys meet?"

"Work" I sit up trying to fix my hair. He didn't ask anything else. We ate and went to grandma's. We did the same thing over and over again, eat dinner, sit In front of the t.v. or look at the stupid fake tree, then open presents and asking where my boyfriend is, then we eat more. Same. Shit. Over. And. Over. Again.

--------------

"Hey Bucko" Tony sat next to me while drinking his spiked eggnog.

"Hey" he gave me one and I gladly drank it. Alcohol didn't affect Steve or I. Super solder serum.

"Ready for presents?" I nod my head and look at the tree. Damn, Tony goes all out! The thing is almost touching the ceiling.

"You know I didn't buy anything for you guys......i thought I wasn't going to come."

"Hey. Your presence is better than anything" he puts his head on my shoulder and finishes his eggnog.

"Tony what are you doing?" Nat asked amused.

"Don't ruin the moment!" Tony yelled and began digging into his pocket.

"Here take a picture. And post it on my Twitter account. Saying something nice" he put his head back on my shoulder and his hand on my chest like a couple.

"Smile honey"

"No" i deadpan.

"Come On sweetheart" I try moving away but he pulls me back down.

"COME ON. LOVE MEEEEE" I manage to get up and Tony falls to the floor getting a hold of my leg.

"3......2......1!" Nat takes the picture. She showed us the picture cracking up.

"Ohh Oh this is perfect" Tony let's me go and grabs his phone and process to upload the picture.

"Come and open presents!" Steve yells. Once we where all in the room Sam had a Santa hat while giving out the presents. Everyone got a bunch of presents! I got one but it didn't matter I felt good. Bunch of clothes and video games where scattered across the room it was amazing! It felt like home, I just missed someone.

"I know......Buck" Steve caught my attention from Peter teaching me how to use my new phone.

"Hm?" Both Steve and Tony give me a heavy box.

"This is from all of us." Tony said with a huge smile on his face. I began ripping the paper. Man, I felt so excited! I don't care if i just got two presents they ment something important. A record player!

"Look inside" clint said.

A bunch of old records that I enjoyed from the past. I got up and hugged Steve for the wonderful memory before war.

"Hey Bucko" I felt overwhelmed by the gift that a lump formed in my throat.

"There is something else Buck" I look at them and they had huge smiles.

"We might have gotten Tony to make you a mp3 player and put new music in there. It's the songs we think you might like. Some of our favorites too" Clint said as I open the small box inside the case.

"Thank you" I mumbled. I feel overwhelmed with comfort and care.

" Mr. Bucky sir are you crYING? " slowly I wipe my cheek. I guess I am. I try to hid the little tears but I guess I failed.

"I guess I am kid" I lightly chuckled and Peter gave me a bone crushing hug.

"DoN' t cRY" I...

"Peter..." can't...

"Peter........" breath..

"PeTER!!"

"Yes Mr.Stark?"

"Let him go. He can't breath!" Soon as he let go I felt myself take a large amount of air.

"Damn kid you got a strong hold" my voice came out raspy. Laughter filled the room.

---------

"Here we are Buck" Steve turned on the truck. He wanted to drive to my studio. 3 hour drive just talking and singing like old times.

"Thanks Steve and Sam"

"Yeah whatever. But next time can we hear music from this era! I wanna hear some Kanye West man!" Sam kept on blabbing and blabbing. Ignoring Sam I got out and walked to my door with my stuff.

"Hey" I whip my head to the side and see Y/n.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" I open the door and let her in first.

"Thanks. Umm I wanted to th-thank you for the tree. It's beautiful" her cheeks turned pink. "Welcome" I mumbled and placed my stuff on the bed.

"I got you something.." she gave me a Christmas bag. "It's not like your gift sadly. I wish I could give you something better" I open the bag and see the sunglasses that i wanted and a DVD movie. Dumbo.

"We can finally see the movie. If you want." She was nervous, I can tell. All I need is her presence, she made this Christmas better.

"Y/n, you watching the film with me will make my Christmas perfect"

Tags: @tnupsweetpie

#bucky barnes #sebastian stan #untamed #bucky barns x reader #winter soldier #bucky x plus size reader

[audiovisualrecall]

Random warrior cats canon divergence aus my brain has come up with. (Maybe spoilers so if you havent read warriors and want to, be aware)

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Au where feathertail doesnt die, she survives (but still saves the tribe). She and crowfeather stay together, despite being from different clans. Leafpool and crow never fall in love or have kits together.

(so... the three could be from squirrelxbramble, brightxcloudtail, whitewing's kits. Or even, albeit improbably, princess's other kits or their progeny)

Au where Ashfur doesnt turn into a jealous asshole??

Au where the three are the three, ie holly has a power along with her brothers.

Au where Jay sticks to his guns and trains as a warrior, and where holly decides to be the med cat apprentice. (Jay is disabled, but that doesnt mean he cant be a warrior, particularly because he was born with his disability and learns from the beginning to compensate and navigate his world. Is he in more danger during battles and from thunderpaths than a cat that isnt blind? Perhaps, yes, but he can definitely hunt, and hearing plays as much part as sight in a battle anyway. Theres lots of times other cats dont see their attacker or opponent but they do hear them! And I always thought holly would make a good med cat actually)

Whether leafpool is their secret birth mom or just their aunt (so au where they are actually squirrel's, not leaf's) either way she loves them so much and is so proud of them. Ye. Proud aunt leafpool training her niece as med cat.

Going back further...

Au where snowkit lives. Obvs. A deaf cat might have a harder time, but he would have learned, and so could the clan.

Au where swiftpaw lives. Necessary.

I like aus which combine the two heh, swiftpaw saves snowkit from the hawk, and then doesnt die from the dog attack, he's just injured like brightheart.

And back to later sub series..... theres probably a bunch of other cats I'd rather had lived.

Oh and - the books tell us that cats arent always close with their siblings/parents/children, for example thornclaw and brightheart, there's a bunch of others im forgetting. But other times, cats are really close to their family? Like storm and feather, leaf and squirrel, fire and sandstorm with those two, and again others im forgetting... I figure it's just a matter of individual cats, and/or when it comes to siblings they may be closer if theres only the two of them? Idk. It's just, Ivy and dove dont need to be either super close or at odds, they can just be friendly. In an au where dove doesnt have powers. Or if she does it's still an au where the three are lionblaze, holly, and Jay, so dove's power isnt part of a prophecy, it's a secret between her and ivy and theres no real jealousy/divide, nor the weird favoritism from the clan... au where they get to be siblings, just normal sibs. Ye.

Oh, here's a fun one! Au from whitewing's POV. (I think I have cloudxbright's daughter's name right? Im still only up to moonlight in my reread, so shes still whitepaw at this pt. Isnt she dove and ivy's mom? And...Who's their dad??)

Au where crow and leaf leave the clans and are happy together with their kits. Maybe later the trio come to the clan out of curiosity/interest. Idk. Cinder lives as med cat until after she trains another apprentice. That apprentice turned med cat latee maybe trains holly or Jay as their apprentice. Idk. I like the leafxcrow ship. I think knowing that yellowfang had brokentail, and firestar himself having been in love w a med cat, firestar at least wouldnt be mad at leaf for loving crow or having kits.

Oooh! Au where so many cats are aware of the secret, it's like it's a secret to the clan at large and to the other clans but fire and sand and gray know, and cinder, and as well as squirrel and bramble is in the know. and the trio are told when they're old enough to not blab/when they start getting curious? Holly looks like a long furred version of crowfeather, for one thing, Jay is a grey tabby version of him, only lion looks like squirrel and hes the last of the three to learn about their parents. Idk how things would go if it was a sort of open secret. Idk. Maybe theres no way for crowxleaf to not be tragic. Meh.

Au where I didnt lose interest in the books after the leafpool secret came out explosively in the power of three arc/ that sub series....

Also...au where the erins didn't add unnecessary drama. :b