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cannibalovers · 3 months

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Hannibal song of the day : song no. 5

a bit about the song:

"Breezeblocks"(released in 2012) is song by alt-J, written by Thom Sonny Green, Gwilym Sainsbury, Gus Unger-Hamilton & Joe Newman(the whole group), most likely their most popular song. It starts off mellow and quiet guitar, interchanging between build ups and drops with synthesisers and a lot of deep bass, drums and other percussion instruments till the end of the song, which ends with an arrangement of overlapping vocals, like a choir. It fits genres like indie rock, indie pop, art rock and folktronica. The song itself tells a story of two lovers, where one of them wants to leave the relationship, feeling unsafe and unfulfilled but the other is obsessive and deranged and so in love that they don't let the other leave, the desire and love being so strong that they dare to hurt their lover and themselves just to make them stay. There can be another meaning to the song when taking the music video into the account(that the group themselves said is kind of different but managed to fit the vibe), which is filmed in reverse, presenting a narrative where a man kills a woman(maybe an ex or smth) who was most likely keeping his wife hostage. Since the chain of events is presented in reverse, it looks as if the man is the abusive lover trying to kill his wife, although by the end we find out he was actually defending his wife and killed the woman that kidnapped his wife, sending a message to not judge a book by its cover - don't assume and judge until you know the full story. It also references a book "Where the Wild Things Are" by Maurice Sendak, talking about a young boy who misbehaved badly at home and got scolded for it. His hostile and intense emotions sent him to an imaginary jungle with creatures called "The Wild Things". In this world, he feels appreciated and powerful as the wild things make him a king, but as soon as he realises the responsibilities a king has are hard, he wants to leave and go back home, to his loving mother who took care of him and coudl depend on, but the creatures don't want him to leave, threatening cannibalism (woah i wonder why I am writing this), saying "Oh, please don’t go! We’ll eat you whole! We love you so!". The band thought of it as a very powerful image and referenced these words in the song. In the end, the boy does manage to get away, unlike the lover of this song.

yeah sorry for the long intro to the song um. i've loved this song for years I swear I could listen to it forever so.

overall the song creates such a chilling mix between aggression and affection it's just so fucking insane and well. very hannigram. I think that was expected. Tbh i feel like it's prob known to fannibals, i made a post once asking ppl for song recommendations for hannibal and this song has shown up a few times and honestly? it fits them SO. WELL. especially when you think about the whole mizumono episode. The music video reminded me of mizumono a lot... so I'll be basing this on that episode a lot...

Pardon me for the pain i'm gonna provide today<3

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Verse 1

"She may contain the urge to run away But hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks"

The girl doesn't want to be in the relationship with the man anymore, maybe recognizing that he is not in a good state of mind or she just believes they're not fit for each other anymore, whichever it is, she is contemplating getting out of the relationship, which she feels trapped in, or the man feels like he's scaring her away, hence her "running away"; He doesn't like this, being way too attached for her, he can't just let her run away after the comfort she brought him and the strong emotions he developed towards her, so he decided to weigh her down (literally) by drowning her with breezeblocks. Metaphorically, Breezeblocks are blocks used for building houses and are supposed to represent foundation here, so perhaps he has been making her stay by guilt tripping her about everything that they have built together and the fact that she can't just "leave behind" the trust, support, stability and safety that they have gained from each other - the foundation of their relationship. After she wasn't giving her idea of leaving up, he decided to actually weight her down with their foundation in forms of breezeblocks. In my eyes, the soggy clothes could also have a little bit of meaning, soggy clothes being quite uncomfortable and probably clinging to her(just like he does) - perhaps they're soggy from the times he was guilt tripping her, perhaps tears were shed and her clothes getting soggy just represent the manipulation and fakeness of them, or the severity of the situation and how long it has been going on and how this has affected her (made her feel heavy at heart and uncomfortable)

I think these lyrics summarise THE monologue in Mizumono and hannigram's plans quite perfectly. Will wanting to run away (from hannibal unfortunately...) and as Hannibal realised his plan of betrayal, reacted very aggressively by literally gutting him (sogging his clothes with blood ig) and breaking down the foundation they have built, more or so with words, but also the knife he uses. At this point I have no idea if its a linoleum knife (knife used for building, houses, rugs and FOUNDATIONS OF A BUILDING.) or a kerambit or smth else but I'll stick to the linoleum here(also check out this post about his choice for the knife, it drives me fucking insane) and say that this is how Hannibal tears down the foundation they have built together. Not only does he gut him, he talks to Will about how betrayed he feels that he was planning to leave him, after letting Will see him, after building this foundation of trust and support for each other. Hannibal was there, understanding Will and offering support and stability and he saw that Will could provide it for him back, which he chose to do only to get closer to him to betray him and take away his happiness (Will...) and stable, carefully crafted life he had. Will was something very important to Hannibal, a person that changed him and made him feel love for once, and then he lied about accepting him. He can't handle losing Will so he would make him stay and tear him down, hurt him, if that's what it would take.

"Cetirizine, your fever’s gripped me again Never kisses, all you ever send are fullstops (La la la la)"

Citrizine is a medicine used for fevers, suggesting the man is so obsessed with her that she makes him ill and stressed (overheated and overwhelmed and overthinking, hence the fever) and he needs medicine. She is constantly rejecting him, rejecting his affections and never giving any to him but instead stopping him, although it can also allude to texts, her not ending them with "xx" (kisses) but with full stops, being quite cold and distant with him.

well first, for the show it can allude to how Hannibal literally gave Will a fever and the amount of aspirin Will took cuz of that if we take this literally, but that mean the roles would have to switch so, instead in my eyes I think of how bothered and overwhelmed Will probably made Hannibal feel the more interested and obsessive he got over Will. I can't imagine how many times this man probably thought of him everyday and overthought stuff (jesus seriously hes obsessed) and how ill and diseased (although alive) Hannibal probably felt (maybe diseased and ill after he knew Will's plan...); the affections the girl is rejecting from her lover could represent how distant Will was with Hannibal at first.

"Do you know where the wild things go? They go along to take your honey (La la la la)"

This is a reference from the book "Where the Wild Things Are". The band suggested that the lyrics are about jealousy, the protagonist being jealous of other people who are catching his lovers attention instead of him, maybe this is a conversation between them about this concern, telling his lover that those people are bad and will use her and leave her(take away her honey); Maybe he's trying to convince her that he would never do that - although he technically is, eating away at whatever support and love(the honey) she has to offer for him.

I feel like this presents why Hannibal decided to isolate Will in the first place, taking away everything from him (or at least how he wants Will to see it, as we know that he was just trying to make his plan come true and return some of the things Will cared about so much). He saw everything that Will had interest in (Alana, Abigail, although he kept her for Will, Margot's child etc) as a threat to his plan of having Will all to himself and so he took them away - because he believed that they were both bad for Will but also because they were not in Hannibal's best interest. Also doesn't he like kill Will's wife in season 3 idk yet dont tell me

"Break down, now weep, build up breakfast Now let’s eat, my love, my love, love, love (La la la la)"

This probably references the many fights the couple had and protagonist's method of trying to make it up to her by trying to get back into a loving, normal routine, forgetting the fights, doing things such as letting her sleep it off and making a breakfast, starting the day over - The breakfast being his love for her. This is most likely to say that acts of service for her would be his love language and he would feel loved if she accepted his services, as well as offerings(his love) he makes for her.

for Hannibal:

do i like. have to explain this one

first of all lets be real cooking and making ppl commit accidental cannibalism is his love language (even better when they are aware of it and accept it knowingly so u dont have to make them commit accidental cannibalism to feel like u're normal for enjoying it and ure not a monster and God didn't punish u by making u eat ur own sister and enjoy it and that they accept and understand u for this and are def not doing it as a manipulation tactic to get u closer to them... that's not smth Will would do to Hannibal wdym)

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Chorus

"Muscle to muscle and toe to toe The fear has gripped me, but here I go My heart sinks as I jump up Your hand grips hand as my eyes shut And I, ah-ah-ah-ah"

The chorus seems to depict the the physical fight going between the two lovers. The protagonist doesn't seem to be in his right mind as he says that even though the fear tried to stop him, he has lost control and is now hurting his loved one (or himself) - His fear of rejection making him not handle this situation well and taking the last leap of faith to "save" the relationship by physically forcing her into it. The harm can either be to himself or her, maybe threatenening suicide and her gripping his hand to stop him, or him hitting her and her trying to deflect his hand with her own.

For Hannibal, it's literally,,gutting Will. Or any physical fight or holding each other at gun point or any murder attempt they had. In mizumono, Hannibal is visibly heartbroken by Will's decisions, maybe regretting the choices hes about to take. Maybe for once he felt some fear hurting another person, the person being Will, but he pushes through it, knowing it had to be done, to show Will how he made him feel. The physical contact in this chorus could represent the hug that they shared (the most heartbreaking hug in tv history). His feelings seem to contrast with the violence in that scene so much it makes me so fucking depressed

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Verse 2

"[...}She bruises, coughs, she splutters pistol shots Hold her down with soggy clothes and breezeblocks"

The words have a violent imagery to them, maybe to show the lover fighting back and still not agreeing to stay, maybe even trying to hurt him, her words feeling like pistol shots to him, or it could represent her drowning, trying to catch a breath. If that's what is happening, then he tries to remind himself of his point and to not help her, because she will run away - it's better to hold her down and make her stay.

Will's most common weapons is a gun or his hands and words, so i guess it fits his image quite well(not to mention the amounts of time he held Hannibal at gun point lol). These clearly never seemed to have affected Hannibal (until the last supper) and he continues through with his plan of taking everything away from Will, showing what he has lost by not staying by Hannibal's side.

"She’s morphine, queen of my vaccine My love, my love, love, love (La la la la)"

The protagonist compares her to morphine, a drug used to help with pain - clearly he is very dependent on her and uses her for emotional stability and support, losing that would make him insecure and breakdown, he can't lose her after the vulnerability he shared with her. This also fits with the expression "Love is a drug", which to him, her love is clearly like a drug, he has become obsessed, needing her love all the time, addicted to her, suggesting the intensity of emotions she makes him feel and just how obsessed he is - that's why he can't let her go.

The contrast between the dark, violent and destructive comparisons he makes of her, ignoring those destructive feelings and calling her his "love" really deepens the juxtaposition between aggression and affection the song potrays and shows just how blind the protagonist is.

I feel like this fits Hannibal's feelings about Will quite well, considering how obsessed he is with him, to the point of destruction and isolating him to have him all to himself (and also the fact that my man was CRYING after putting Will in prison, missing their therapy sessions. LIKE BITCH). He really puts Will high up on a pedestal, suggesting just how important and addictive Will is to him and how dependent he has become on Will after opening up to him, maybe even feeling like Will numbs his pain and loneliness of never being accepted for who he actually was.

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Verse 3

"[...]Germolene, disinfect the scene, my love, my love, love, love But please don't go, I love you so, my lovely"

This is the aftermath of the protagonist killing his lover. He realises that he killed her, getting an anticeptic(clearly unprepared for this and panicking, using some at-home antiseptic instead of something proper) to disinfect the scene off of his DNA. The realisation quickly hits him of what he has done, making him spiral into a breakdown as he realises that his actions didn't make her stay, they made her dead forever.

Hannibal clearly doesn't disinfect the scene in mizumono, he doesn't even wear his plastic suit or use the cloth that he always uses to not leave finger prints, there was no point in hiding anything anymore, Will helped FBI see through him, although we do see him "cleansing" himself off of the events by walking in the rain and trying to "comfort" Will, telling him to "wade into the quiet of the stream". I don't think these specific lyric apply to the situation much disinfection-wise, although it can represent Hannibal's state of mind, especially after realising everything he has done and the regret that came with it(does he feel guilty tho? i have no idea but the begging and love confessions in this line def represent his obsession and love for Will which left him very heartbroken after everything that was done)

also could represent Will........ him wanting to turn back, if he could only reverse time, undo the events so Abigail lives and everyone else lives..............ouch

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Refrain

"Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please break my heart (Hey!) Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please don't go, please don't go I love you so, I love you so Please break my heart[...]"

the most beautiful part of the song in my opinion tbh. The layers, the build up, the overlapping vocals, it's all just so overwhelming and emotional and vulnerable.

the protagonist spirals, realising what he has done but not wanting it to be true, he's not ready yet to let go of his lover, slowly, he's losing self control and giving into his violent desires, he threatens cannibalism if she goes away(she can't really do anything my dude...) as he frantically confessse to her that he loves her. He just loves her so much and needs her so much, the desire is so strong that he will consume her if it means that she stays right beside him(or inside him), craving that impossible closeness, it's a way to forever remain with a loved one. This whole refrain is just so incredibly contradicting and depressing and desparate its insane

now, it's no secret that Hannibal doesn't want to let Will go and even consume him. He wants him to live but at the same time he wants to taste him, devour him. To love is to consume, but to consume is to devour and transform in reusable energy. He wants him as close as possible and for Will to accept his desires and give himself up, let him be his - but clearly that's not what Will wanted (yet).

...This one is so straightfoward especially considering Hannibal that I don't even know what to say really. The song itself just says it all perfectly.

in conclusion they are fucking insane for this and breezeblocks is the ultimate hannigram (specifically mizumono) song. 11/10

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additional notes:

was so excited for this one but i actually wrote less than i thought wow but maybe thats also cuz most of the song repeats. or im tired

idk if its cuz i literally dont know how to explain cannibalism as a metaphor of love or why but. at the same time the song just describes pretty well on its own

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my playlist

hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading<3

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harlowsbby · 1 year

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Best thing I never had

“Come on let’s talk out all of our feelings I mean you’ve both been together for about five years now and you’ve been engaged for a few months, I don’t think this is worth getting a divorce.” You scoffed and rolled your eyes was Urban being serious right now.

You just found out the man of your so called dreams has been sleeping with your best friend behind your back, even after you gave her a home to stay in after leaving her abusive and toxic ex, you didn’t think they’d ever do something like this but I guess you were wrong.

“There isn’t anything to talk about Urban I’m done with him and I’m most certainly done with her, the two of them can kick rocks for all I care.” Jack looked up at you in sorrow and defeat he knew he had just lost the best thing he ever had.

A few weeks earlier

“Remind me why Miya is coming to stay with us again?” Your friend Miya was coming over for a few days well more like a few months but Jack didn’t need to know that.

You finished up making up her bed before turning your attention back on Jack.

“She’s going through a hard time Jack she can’t afford to live on her own financially especially since her breakup with Jessie and she needs a place to stay besides her sisters.” Jack rolled his eyes and went downstairs with you after him.

“If you don’t want her to stay Jack I can tell her that Jack is acting like a big grumpy baby and honestly wants you on the street.” You stated dramatically making him smack his lips.

“Now you know I’d never say anything like that I just wanna make sure we’ll still have our time together.” You coo’d and made your way over to him and stood in between his legs, resting your arms on his shoulders.

“As long as you promise we get some we time then I don’t care if she spends a few days or months here.” You squealed and jumped up and down. “Thank you Jack she’s gonna be so happy to be here I know she can’t wait to get a break.”

You gave Jack a quick kiss before heading upstairs to call Miya.

“What did I miss?” Came Urban’s voice from the living room. “When did you get here?” Jack asked him with his eyebrows furrowed together.

“I’ve been here remember you let me crash last night, what was Y/N going on about.” Jack sighed and hopped off the counter. “Her friend Miya broke up with her boyfriend so I guess she’ll be living her for a few months. Till she gets back up on her feet at least.”

“Wait Miya? As in her best friend Miya.” “Yeah what about her?” Urban smacked his lips and rubbed his bearded chin. “Miya is a baddie that’s what and you get to see that fine piece of ass walking around your house for free. I’m very jealous of you.”

Jack wasn’t understanding what Urban was talking about or what he was getting at.

“What are you on about Urban?” “You got the best of both worlds Jack take advantage of that shit if I was you I’d be messing around with Miya on the lowww.” Urban song sang.

“So you expect for me to cheat on my wife to be with her best friend since birth?” Jack raised his eyebrows at Urban who was already chin deep in some leftover chili.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying.” Jack knew thinking about the possibility of cheating on you was wrong but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t glance at Miya’s chest or ass whenever she was around and now that he was thinking about it Miya did give him flirty eyes a few times.

“You’re thinking about it aren’t you?!” Urban laughed and got up and tossed his dish in the sink Jack rolled his eyes at him before hopping down the counter.

“Whatever Urban I don’t need you putting any ideas in my head, I’ll see you later at the party alright?” It was Clay’s birthday and since he never really celebrated his birthday Jack wanted to throw him a surprise birthday party.

“Yeah, I’ll see you later Jack but remember what I said! Two is better then one.” Urban snickered before leaving the house leaving a wondering Jack all alone in his thoughts.

Later that evening

“Come on you guys have been in there for like hours it feels like.” Jack huffed and puffed in frustration as Miya and You giggled from behind the locked door.

You were both getting ready for Clay’s birthday and Jack knew how long it took you to get ready but now having Miya with you as well he knew he’d never get a chance to use the bathroom.

“I have to pee really really bad!!” Jack yelled through the door. “So use the guest bathroom or use Miya’s bathroom, you can’t incapable.” You sassily told him.

“So go use the guest bathroom blah blah blah.” Jack mumbled under his breath. “What did you just say?” He froze when you heard him behind him he turned around and gave you a weak smile and blushed when he noticed Miya laughing from behind you.

“I said I’ll go use the guest bathroom and take your time the party doesn’t start for another hour or two.” You glared at him and nodded your head in approval “That’s what I thought you said.” Jack looked back at Miya who sent him a flirty wink making his face red.

“Why is your face red?” Jack completely forgot you were still in front of him. “Uh it’s just really hot in here that’s all baby I’m gonna go get some water and get ready.”

You had a feeling he wasn’t telling you the truth because Jack’s face never just got red out of the blue and it wasn’t even hot in here it was freezing.

“I’m gonna go downstairs and get some water, do you want anything?” Miya asked you “Oh no I’m good but thank you.” You gave her a small smile before going back to doing your hair.

Miya bit her lip nervously as she made her way downstairs she looked back up the stairs before quickly dashing to the bathroom Jack was in and shutting the door from behind her.

“What-.” Jack looked up form brushing his teeth and his eyes widened seeing Miya behind him. “Hey Jack.” She slurred her words and ran her fingers across his shoulder blades.

“Oh hey Mia or I mean Miya yeah hey Miya.” He spoke nervously making her chuckle. “I just wanna thank you again for letting me stay here I still feel bad. I feel as if I’m intruding on Y/N and you.”

“Absolutely not you can stay as long as you want I don’t mind honestly.” Jack watched her nervously as she looked around the bathroom. He loved how her pink and well manicured nails gripped around the water bottle, oh how he wished those hands were wrapped around something else.

“Jack!! Hello.” He quickly snapped out of his daze and began to blush when he realized what he was day dreaming about. Miya smirked as if she knew what he was dreaming about.

“You know I’m not stupid Jack, I know you want me just as bad as I want you.” She whispered in his ear and ran her tongue across his earlobe.

“I never said I wanted you Miya I’m engaged and about to be happily married I’m not sure who told you that.” She rolled her eyes. “You did Jack, your body language did I see the way you practically undress me with your eyes whenever I’m around. I’m no fool Jack.”

Jack gulped and leaned back on his bathroom sink he didn’t think it was that obvious. “So what are we about to do or what does this mean.” Miya licked her lips and slowly made her way to her knees before unbuttoning Jack’s jeans and shaking them till they fell to the floor.

“How about I show you where things can go for us.” Jack inhaled and watch Miya go to work he bit his lip and tried his best to hold in his moans and groans but it felt so good.

“Fuck Miya.” He groaned and gripped the counter behind him, his veins poking through his muscled arms and before he knew it he was coming undone under her touch.

“Better clean yourself up I don’t want Y/N suspect anything.” She smiled innocently before placing a kiss on his lips and leaving the bathroom as if nothing just happened.

“What did I just get myself into it.” He told himself and groaned.

At the party

The entire car ride over to the party you felt as if something was off something in the air didn’t seem right. You sat in the back on the way to the party with Miya but the entire car ride there you noticed Jack would glance in the back a few times through the review mirror.

You sat with Urban and Neelam and watched Jack talk with a few of his friends.

“A penny for your thoughts?” You looked up seeing it was Miya.

“Oh it’s nothing Miya just be overthinking like always.” You gave her a weak smile and went back to stirring your drink.

“Come on you know you can’t hide anything from me we’ve been best friends since birth.” You sighed maybe it was best to tell somebody.

“Something is off with Jack he just seems like he’s hiding something.” “How do you know he’s hiding something?”

You’ve been with Jack for a minute and you could always tell whenever something was bothering him. “His body language he looks so stiff as if he’s got something to say.” Miya mentally cursed she hated the way you were so good at reading everyone’s body language.

“I’m sure he’s okay Y/N if something was wrong I’m sure he’d tell you now come on let’s go get a drink.”

“Yeah you’re right he’d tell me if something was wrong. Now let’s go get a drink and get fucked up tonight.” She smirked and raised her shot before drowning it. “That’s my girl now let’s go.”

Later on in the night it started to die down a bit which you were thankful for. Looking around you noticed Jack and Miya weren’t around which you found odd. You got up and went into the kitchen where Ace and Urban sat, drowning down a bag of Cheeto puffs.

“Have you guys seen Jack or Miya?” You asked them. “Uh last time I saw Miya she was with Neelam but as for Jack I’m not sure.” Ace said with a face filled with Cheeto dust. You giggled and got a napkin and cleaned his face up. “Thank you Y/N.”

You sighed and left the kitchen wondering where Jack was because all you wanted to do was go home and cuddle in bed with him while some baking show played in the background.

You decided to step outside for some air the smell of beer and weed recked all over the house. Once outside you finally let out the biggest gasp for air.

You leaned against the garage door and took out your phone just flipped through some tik toks to try and pass the time before deciding to text Jack.

Jack 💕

- where are you, you wanna go home?

You waited for the message to go through before putting it back in your pocket but as you did you heard a ding go off. You scrunched your eyebrows up in confusion seeing the window in your car rolled down a bit.

“Jack? Is that you in there.” Your stomach began to turn and flip when you heard the familiar groans and moans of Jack.

“Fuck just like that Jack.” “Yeah? You like that Miya I bet you do.” “Oh I do Jack fuck you’re so good.”

You watched with blurry eyes as Jack and Miya messed around in the back of your car.

“So after seven years together it means nothing? I’m just that easy to cheat on.” You spoke and watched how Jack pulled away from Miya and how she quickly tried to cover herself up.

“It isn’t what it looks like baby.” “It’s exactly what it looks like Jack and Miya I should’ve known you weren’t a loyal friend.” You whimpered and began to walk backwards.

“Baby please just hear me out please.” You watched as Jack stumbled out of the car and tried his best to throw on his shirt.

“No Jack what we have or had is over I’m done with you I’m done with the both of you.”

“Y/N don’t be so dramatic Jack always wanted me and you can’t be angry over that.” Miya laughed from the backseat as Jack tried to hush her up.

“Let’s just go back home baby and talk about this Yeah?” He went to grab your arm but you quickly yanked it back. “No I’m done you stay here and have fun with your sloppy seconds. We’re done Jack and this, us, we’ll never be anything ever again.”

Flashback over

“And that’s what happened and that’s why this entire engagement is over. Why would I marry someone who’s been unfaithful.” You looked down to Jack who looked down in shame.

Urban knew he had a part in this and the right thing to do was to come clean and tell you that he made Jack do it but he figured you’d be hurt enough.

“So were really done?” Jack whispered with tear-filled eyes.

“There was a time that I thought you did everything right, no wrongs, I must’ve been out of my mind.” You chuckled you use to put Jack on a pedestal in your eyes he could do no wrong.

“We’re done Jack. I’m done with you. Forget me and forget my number and act like I never been existed, because I’ll be doing the same thing.” With that you got up and walked away leaving the man you once loved.

You were the best thing he ever had but you were also going to be the best thing he never had.

( was iffy about this one since it’s my first real fic in a minute but lmk what y’all think 😭 )

( Sorrows will be up tomorrow )

taglist

@heavyhitterheaux @nattinatalia

@a-moment-captured @moody4world

@pianoisland @hoodharlow @softtcurse

@lcandothisallday @jackmans-poison

@jackharloww @awhore4moree

@exoticr0ses

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you

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ravennaortiz · 4 months

Text

Chapter 3 of the Juice and OC Stormie Rayne story.

Warnings: As always this is an 18+ story. General themes of the show such as violence, drugs, swearing, smut etc. Mention of child abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault/harassment are in some chapters.

Clay nodded as Juice finished telling him what he had found on Half-Sacks sister. "I don't have any concerns that make me feel she poses a risk for the club. Does anyone have objections?" asked Clay looking around the table at the men seated. After hearing none he adjourned the meeting.

As the men filtered out, Gemma made her was in. "Stormies a sweet girl and so is Isabella. Makes me wish I had a daughter" stated Gemma wishfully as she sat down in one of the many chairs. "Hassling her already" chuckled Clay as he shook his head. "No" replied Gemma with some annoyance. "Just checking to see what she is made of.....and there is a spice that I can't wait to see come out" replied Gemma with a laugh. "I came in her though to ask a favor" stated Gemma changing the subject. Clay laughed, "of course you had an ulterior motive." Gemma ignored him before continuing on. "I was telling her about Luanne and Kira-Kira. Told her I could get her a job their but she declined doesn't want to do that line of work anymore. I can't blame her after what she has been through. So I was thinking maybe she could be the club's bar tender." explained Gemma pausing to gauge Clay's response.

"Does she know how?" asked Clay after a moment. "Yes, she made all kinds of drinks out here while we were waiting" replied Gemma with a smile. "Sounds fine to me. She can start when she's ready" replied Clay. "Thank you" replied Gemma before getting up and leaving.

***

"I hope my mom wasn't too much darling" stated Jax as he sat at the bar where Piney was sitting coloring with Isabella while Stormie cleaned up what she had been using to make drinks. "Gemma? She was fine" replied Stormie as she glanced up at the blonde haired, blue eyed guy. "I assume your Jax? She gave me a whole history" inquired Stormie as she caught the VP patch on his kutte. Jax frowned slightly. "What exactly did my mom say about me" he asked curious. "Lets see. Two kids, inability to keep it in his pants, married to a woman she doesn't approve off, ex wife is an addict to which she said you have poor choices in women. Piney did I forget anything?" relayed Stormie with a smile as she looked towards the older man. He had put her at ease right away when the clubhouse filled up hours ago especially after Isabella announced that "her mommy was scared of men" making Stormie cringe and flush with embrassement.

"I think that was everything" laughed Piney as he looked at Jax who shook his head with a small smile. "All true. At least my mom is honest when she talks shit" laughed Jax as he took the beer Stormie offered him. "Don't feel to bad. She gave me all the dirt on everyone" replied Stormie as she caught sight of Gemma waving her to her. "I'll watch her" stated Piney as he saw Stormies gaze as he nodded to Isabella. "Thank you" replied Stormie before walking off to talk to Gemma. "Don't go sniffing around her Jackson. She's had a hard enough life and doesn't need you making it more complicated" warned Piney as he looked over at Jax. "Why do people keep telling me that" muttered Jax as he sipped his beer and thought of how Half-Sack, Chibs and Tig had already given him separate lectures.

Return to Chapter List

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masterthespianduchovny · 2 years

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Even without saying it, people love to think that they’re freethinkers and aren’t susceptible to propaganda.

A few months ago, there was this viral conversation where people swear they wouldn’t be indoctrinated into a cult.

This Johnny Depp situation proved without a doubt that 1. Many aren’t “freethinkers” 2. They are incredibly susceptible to propaganda 3. They would most likely be wrapped up in a cult given the right circumstances.

Especially when it’s concerning how much society hates women. Many Depp defenders mock people who talk about misogyny, but think about this:

Amber’s both accused of being a good actress, it’s implied and being a shitty actress. It’s asked why she doesn’t have evidence and people are suspicious when she does have evidence. People ask why she didn’t leave, yet don’t ask why Johnny didn’t leave. They that claim whatever Johnny did was to protect himself/in self defense/because Amber deserved it, but whatever Amber did was because she’s abusive. People claim that Amber has been contradictory and caught lying, yet conveniently overlooks the times Johnny has been caught lying and was contradictory. When Amber’s ex defends her it’s “some abuse victims still protect their abusers”, yet any ex who defends Johnny doesn’t have that same logic leveled at them.

Every line of thought leans towards proving Johnny’s innocence and shedding a light on Amber’s guilt.

It’s both telling and troubling that Amber is repeatedly called a cunt, bitch, devious, gold digging, crazy, and other loaded terms, esp when directed towards women. This seems to be okayed because she allegedly abused Johnny, which is ironic because John y didn’t get nearly a tenth of loaded language when these same people believed he was an abuser. They were silent and didn’t comment. They didn’t vocalize their disappointment even though they believed Amber. It just wasn’t worth speaking out about, yet their vocal against Amber, have harassed her, and actively trying to destroy her career. It must be noted, they didn’t do this with Johnny. Although the Sun called him a wife beater and there was some outcry, it wasn’t nearly the same as what’s going on now.

I’ll be completely honest: when Amber first got with/married Johnny, I had some internalized misogyny. I thought she was using him. I had some goodwill towards Johnny because I enjoyed his movies and brands.

However, in the back of my mind, I did remember the unsavory things I’d heard about him over the years. The red flags and suspect behavior that I’d been aware of. Because after she cited domestic abuse during their divorce filings, I believed her. So, no, I’ve never been a stan of Amber. I was actually biased against her when they got together. Despite believing her, I didn’t become a fan or deliberately consume her work. I didn’t keep up with her before the allegations, so why would I now bc she’s a victim of DV. But I did support her.

Here’s the thing that Depp supporters ignore: Johnny had HER sign TWO NDAs to proceed forth with the divorce. One of them prevented her from talking about his finances and the other prevented her from talking about his behavior during their marriage.

If Johnny was so innocent and did nothing wrong, why would he make Amber sign a NDA preventing her from talking about HIS behavior. His behavior comes off more controlling and abusive as a result. Why would an abuse victim hold up divorce proceedings to force someone to sign not one, but two NDAs. It’s possible that abuse victims have done this to protect themselves, however, Johnny appears to be operating from a position of power NOT Amber.

And Johnny was the one who broke the NDAs that he forced her to sign via his GQ article, which triggered her op-ed. I’m not going to get caught up in her not naming him in the piece because she flat out said that the reason she was writing this was due to harassment because she came out about her abuse. Even before people thought Johnny was being abused, they harassed Amber. They claimed that she said he abused her to get back at him even though SHE filed for divorce and, according to the narrative, he didn’t leave her due to his background as a child who grew up in an abusive home. So what exactly is she getting back at him for?

I don’t know how old or young some of y’all are or if y’all keep up with celebrity news. Not necessarily gossip, but it can lean that way. I’m 30 and I’ve casually consumed celebrity news.

Despite this recent campaign about Johnny being this sweet cinnamon roll who’d never hurt a fly, he has never been known for this throughout tenure in Hollywood. Johnny was known as quirky and private, but his career has been littered with problematic behavior that even includes violence. This isn’t new info. This isn’t Amber’s team putting this out there, this has always existed.

Before Johnny sued the Sun, I believe The Hollywood Reporter detailed Johnny turbulent history, esp as a working professional in Hollywood and how he derailed his own career. If you think rape, abuse, and hell, even pedophilia gets you blackballed in Hollywood, then you aren’t paying attention. Bill Cosby was a well known rapist—for decades. Sean Penn kept working in Hollywood despite being a well known abuser. There was a writer, executive producer, and creator who was a known pedophile or believed to be one that worker a Nickelodeon.

So the idea that Johnny lost roles due to Amber is ridiculous. The more famous you are, the more you’re protected from the consequences of your behavior. Hell, Kevin Spacey was probably on taken down because he’s a gay man. Not saying he didn’t deserve it, but how many straight musicians were and are known to have gotten involved with underaged girls??? And are still loved and praised to this day.

We can cite #MeToo all day, but Johnny’s career didn’t suffer due to that. Again, read the Hollywood reporter article. Once you burn bridges with people who get you roles and paid and start suing everyone, that’s when you start losing roles. Compound this with Johnny largely being in box office bombs outside of pirates of the Caribbean. Even then he was a massive liability on set due to being drunk, high, hours later, abusive behavior, etc.

What about fantastic beasts???

The WB told Johnny and Amber to keep a low profile. Amber kept her head low. You largely didn’t hear about her outside other Aquaman and incels trying to get her fired. Johnny, on the other hand, sued the Sun for libel and fucking lost, which is notoriously hard to do in his position. It is incredibly difficult for a newspaper to take that to trial and fucking WIN.

Johnny’s public case and LOSING is why he was asked to step down NOT him being accused of DV. Keep in mind, he initiated this case. People will claim it’s due to clearing his name, but besides occasional rumblings, no one was really talking about him being an abuser. You have the Sun and a Twitter boycott, then you have Rowling DEFENDING keeping Johnny employed. Johnny showing his ass is why the WB went over her head and mutually parted with Johnny.

One of the reasons I know this case is about how much people hate women is because, for most of his defenders, if y’all read any of those texts he wrote about Amber, how he spoke to her, and how he treated her, y’all was yelling fucking RUN. Y’all would beg for her to leave him. His text messages are one of those red flags featured in the murder podcasts. If y’all think that is how men talk to one another, why do y’all find it okay? He said he would burn her fucking corpse, and then rape it to make sure she is dead. This was BEFORE they got married. He also later said he’d drown her. Or that he’d buy her a beaver and save it so that a degrading headline would run about her and this was all for shits and giggles.

This is how a sweet cinnamon roll behaviors???

This is the behavior of an abuse victim?

This is not to say that some victim don’t wish harm on their abusers because many do, however, when looking at that language, does it come off as a victim or as an abuser?

Remember I mentioned that contradiction? Johnny is on record as calling his ex partner Vanessa a cunt and I believe he positioned it as if she tried to poison them against him. This is the second and not even the last woman on record that he’s spoken about derogatively and with misogynistic language. For someone so innocent, pure, and kind he sure how a problematic way of discussing women, which isn’t seen as troubling at all.

Then Johnny said that his kids LOVED Amber. Now I’m sincerely saying this, but didn’t he say that his kids never liked Amber???

Like, what’s the truth here.

Because that is a contradictory statement.

It wasn’t “their feelings towards her changed” or “the relationship broke down.” It’s “they didn’t like her so they didn’t come to my wedding for her.”

Let’s discuss the texts where he said he wanted to “globally” humiliate Amber and punish her. Not get justice, truth, or clearing his name, he wanted to humiliate her. Does that sound like a victim or an abuser. As a reminder, he was the one who, once again, initiated this suit. Amber largely hasn’t talked about him outside of the op-Ed and has kept her head down. Outside of the divorce proceedings, she’s largely been reacting to him. Hell, he doesn’t even talk or imply that he’s a victim or her being an abuser.

Remember how I opened this?

Does none of his supporters find it suspicious that Johnny’s lawyer is tied to the Russians. Like, seriously, look into that. Why would Johnny employ it connect to employ such a person? And that he employs a person and/or company that runs bot farms.

Is that not suspicious at all???

Many people have mentioned despite never keeping up with Johnny(including Amber) or the case, they can’t avoid this case. Usually when this happens it’s due to the algorithm being tampered with aka bots and paid advertisements. You know the same thing that happened during the 2016 election?

Y’all don’t see the similarities or that blatant connections with people on Johnny’s payroll? The conspiracy that the judge was in her pocket somehow in the UK. Hell, y’all even believe the therapist who is not licensed to diagnose mental disorders, despite her having dinner with Johnny at his home before she testified on his behalf. I even believe her process in diagnosing Amber is/was problematic.

People are obsessing over ambers behavior and micro analyzing her every move to prove she’s not a victim bc “victims don’t do x y z”, yet they cast a blind eye to Johnny.

This doesn’t even touch on the BLATANT misinformation and lies told on amber to “prove” she’s lying, is acting, and is not a victim. And that bullshit about her doing coke on the stand. Are y’all fucking serious?

Many of y’all don’t even understand how trials work either. Y’all think the most basic shit that every fucking lawyer does when going to trial was created to trick and trap Johnny and is someone conspiracy.

Let me let y’all in on an open secret: Johnny is most likely going to lose this case. Why? Because the evidence does stack up against him. And, guess what, he doesn’t care. Because this was never about winning the case and only about humiliating Amber. If you’re thinking, “good”, you’ve gone too far done the rabbit hole and need to ask yourself why you’re okay with a rich white man using the legal system and wasting everyone’s time to humiliate one person. There are resources being used for their case that could be used for someone who actually needs it. And I don’t want to hear about “white women’s tears.” While they definitely exist, a rich white woman doesn’t have more power than a rich white man, full stop.

Case in point, Trump, Brent Kavannaugh, Brock Turner aka Stanford rapist. And I’ve already established that Hollywood doesn’t care about abuse and problematic behaviors.

You think this rich where man who’s gotten away with shit all of his life is being brought down by a rich white woman with not even a fraction of his influence, power, and money?

Seriously???

Are y’all snorting that coke y’all claim Amber was snorting?

There are several credible pieces of evidence as well as witnesses. Johnny’s ex, Winona Ryder, initially was going to testify on Johnny’s behave, but after the findings of the UK case came out, she blocked her testimony from being used. Even her public statement simply says, “he’s never abused me, but I can’t say he didn’t abuse her.” And, what’s telling about her statement is that she clearly believes that you’re only abused when you’re hit. When you look into their relationship, he never hit her, but used to throw and slam shit, which she remarked on years before he got with Amber.

Male abuse is an important discussion to have, however, it’s troubling that so many are dying on this particular hill for a man with a history of violence. Furthermore, as for his finger being sliced, Jerry bruckheimer, someone who has worked with Johnny for 20 years or so, has repeatedly statement absent of the ongoing saga between Johnny and Amber, that Johnny injured his own finger. As far as her shitting in the bed goes, if y’all actually read the case and transcript, Johnny wasn’t staying at their place and it happened in Amber’s bed by the dog that was known to have intestinal issues. Furthermore, Johnny has expressed to others the desire to shit on the floor or bed as a “joke.” Even going as far as to blaming the dog—there are text messages that support this. In this case, it actually did happen, the dog shitting. But Amber didn’t shit in the bed and blame the dog.

Many of y’all have been sucked in by viral memes, tampered with evidence, misinformation, and love of an actor yall only hear about through breaking news stories.

#amber heard #Johnny Depp

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papirouge · 1 year

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I really really hate now this idea of marriage being a battle between husband and wife. That men only see divorce as the outcome of it because their low emotional intelligence leads their wives to be frustrated. It’s really hard to read how vicious men are too when they read “victories over women” when a woman is left with nothing, especially if they have children. Like the kids don’t matter. It’s all about “punishing the woman” for daring to leave an awful relationship. I guess I’m tired of reading about men complaining about divorce and how marriage is awful then in the same breath, complain that nobody will date them or love them. I usually hear this as a “western woman issue” as these same western scrotes will praise poor countries with struggling women to exploit so they can do the same back to these women - exploit these women then leave them with nothing

It's crazy you talk about "battle" in marriage bc YouTube has been pushing a video from a Christian man I've been following called "Husband & Wife: the Fight for control", and your ask just convinced me to eventually watch it, so I just did 👀

In this video he's basically explaining the reason Christian marriage struggle with power imbalance

Christian marriage fail in that men have no submission to the Holy spirit, no control of finances, no spiritual power, are too passive, rely on external help, and rather delegue the decisions to their wife

Consequentially, their wife have to take charge, and sometimes become more aggressive (because they can't respect a passive husband), and abuse their power

The man in the video said that at the beginning of his marriage, was relying big time to his family & Baptist community (he had his cell phone bills paid by his father in law 💀) When he decided to take his independence, all hell broke lose and the Baptist community turned on him ... and his father in law asked him for a refund of the bills he paid for all this time...💀💀

Conclusion ? God created men to take charge. But this responsability comes with duties (they have to be spiritually independent). Everytime a man expects submission from a woman, he should be as much financially independent.

⚠️ Beware of stingy traditional men, expecting you to stay at home and not working...... while never providing you the money you need/deserve⚠️

Only bums rave about marriage. Divorce is a failure. No emotionally balanced person should look up divorce. And it kills me to see the same men elevating traditional gender roles clap in support of meb divorcing their wife. Lately there's been a fake news featuring the Morocco football player Hakimi, who's accused of rape, stating he hid his fortune from his wife who filed for divorce so she couldn't get the half of it. Mind you: all the scrotes were cheering, calling him the goat, his move a "masterclass", etc. It really shows how fake the traditional posture of those scrote is (especially Muslim ones, having no problem with stoning women having sex outside marriage, but cheering -alleged- rapists💀). Raping women/cheating on your wife and then cutting her from the money she's owed (after she filed for divorce for being cheated on/potentially married with a rapist) is peak dusty degenerate move, and NOTHING traditional. And now that this "cut his ex wife from getting his money" news has been debunked , these idiots have been laying low 💀

You're absolutely right, it's all about "punishing the woman". They didn't care about her being cheated on, or even fearing for her life for being married with a potential rapist... They just happy to see a woman humiliated. Demonic.

And yeah, dunking on "Western women" is a well known incel/passport bro dog whistle. These idiots be truly complaining about Western women having the choice of not being sexually available to them for survival - like these good traditional women overseas 🤡 Incel are capitalizing off the fact there are places where the bar is lower. They would rather spent thousands to travel oversea and bag a bangmaid who wants the papers.....than save all this money and fix their attitude ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

#answered

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ebanatsu · 2 years

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question from curiouscat : Ok but like, realistically speaking, Would Kyrie and Rosa make each other better or worse? - Anonymous

ohhhh, kyrosa ask!! I actually love the concept of them so much. They have that VN only scene in EP1, I think? (it might be EP2. The one where Kyrie's like, "We should go out for coffee some time together, just the two of us." BRUH.) Lol, ok, but realistically speaking, I could see it going either way actually. Like, they could definitely make each other way worse, but they could also kind of cancel the bad parts out of each other? [ vague EP7 Spoilers //// ] Despite what we learn about how Kyrie feels in Rokkenjima Prime, she is still good at ACTING the part of a good mother, and she could potentially really help Rosa with her fucked up treatment of Maria, I feel. Rosa's abuse towards Maria isn't justified at all, but it's completely understandable when you find out and fill in the lines of how she was treated pretty much exactly the same (probably even worse, and by more people) when she was growing up. The EP8 manga especially shows even more of this with her own stuffed animal and how her siblings tore it apart (Which, tbh the way these approximately 20 something year olds were treating their youngest sibling by far (Rosa's so much younger than them) like that is really ://///).

A bit off topic, but I've always kind of theorized that the reason Rosa is so much younger, is because she wasn't really planned, and it might have been a way for Kinzo's wife to maybe try and keep Kinzo close when she was suspecting him of having a mistress (which he did.)

Anyway, back on topic; So, Rosa's pretty mentally fucked up. I have such complicated feelings towards her because she is SUCH a problematic person, but she is so well written, I can't help but appreciate how realistically she is handled. (and to be fair, no one in this family is really "OK." lol. That cycle of abuse messing all of them up.)

Kyrie's very level headed and perceptive, and she gets what she wants. She's definitely the mom who gets the least development out of the four, but there's still a lot there to delve into and think about, especially when we learn about her history with Asumu and Rudolf. She's a very jealous woman, and also, honestly, very possessive. But again, she's smart. And this leads into me bringing up how Rosa's actually very smart too. Eva's only able to solve the riddle in EP3 thanks to Rosa's hint, and we see Rosa solved it herself very soon after.

Rosa has so much pent up resentment and rage, and unleashes it in very unhealthy ways, and Kyrie kind of does too (specifically towards Asumu), but is much better at keeping it hidden and under control. She's good at reading people and crafty in steering situations in certain directions in her favor (ex: remember the conversation where she talks about her and Rosa having coffee some time. While the scene itself is nice and considerate on the surface, in the same moment, she and Rosa talked about how parents don't get to choose their children and vice versa, and soon after, Kyrie makes a comment about how the rain is about to start or something, and that's when Rosa runs out to find Maria and then Kyrie is to the rest of the adults "Don't worry about it, let's continue the discussion" (AFTER Rosa had said something about how she didn't want to leave the room because then they all might try to not give her any say in the whole thing going on about money and whatnot)

Sorry if that was rambly and hard to understand if you don't remember exactly what scene I'm talking about, it's been a while since I've read it

I like that scene a lot and use it often for my kyrosa agenda because it is nice and shows how they do overall get along quite well compared to a lot of the rest of the adults, but it also has an underlying implication and vibe of slight manipulation on Kyrie's part.

I'm gonna go ahead and wrap this up for the time being, now, though, before I keep rambling on and on, lol.

They have such a potentially interesting dynamic that I really wish we got to see more of. (I also just remembered an old post I made about them in the EP3 manga a few years ago, remind me to link that later, send me another ask!) When it comes right down to it, Rosa just really wants someone to love her and not leave and help with raising a child, and Kyrie can provide that. Again, with the VN only scene, we never really see Kyrie talk to any of the other adults like that about wanting to spend time together off the island, so it's just fun to think about. They're both actually very smart and willing to do what it takes to get what they want. I've joked before about how Kyrie's not playable in the Ougon fighting game because then she and Rosa would be too powerful together lol. (And I stand by that).

TL;DR: I think they could be very good for each other and balance each other out with their flaws and kind of meet an equilibrium (Kyrie helps ease a lot of Rosa's concerns and help her anger issues, Rosa gives all her attention to Kyrie without any threat of cheating on her or flirting with other people at the same time) (in other words, they could POTENTIALLY be kind of healthy together and communicate properly), but I could also see them making each other much worse, idk.

This got really rambly and long, sorry if it's everywhere and not super organized,,, cries

But yeah, I love the idea of them so much actually, thank you for the ask dfubvfdk

#umineko #umineko spoilers #kyrie #rosa #kyrosa #ask

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ambrrdumpling · 2 years

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What have I become?

A lier. A dirty lier.

A selfish person.

A person with no trust.

A person who expects greatness and adoration even while holding so many lies (Sure I did give dumpling gifts, food, drove her places, and planned travel vacations but none of this matters if you are not truthful)

For some reason it never came to mind that if I am not truthful 100% with her that she will think that I will hook up with someone, or cheat on her, or deceive her and at the end LEAVE HER and just use her. Thinking back, I believe this is what destroyed my relationship with dumpling. I’m sure she had thoughts about me being unfaithful and just using her for pleasure and nothing else but that. I have to say it was not the case. I lied bc I really loved her but in a selfish way. I believed she would never be with me when still married with Amy and so I lied about every single thing after that so it would never come back to me. At first I said I was divorced which was still bad in my mind but somehow she was okay with that. Then I was afraid she would find out I was still married bc I thought she would not accept me. I was so wrong about that. BUT even though I was married I was in the process of getting divorced it just took so much work to do that. I wish divorces were fast but they really are complicated and hard work. HOWEVER main reason why I did not want to get divorced quite yet is because I was fighting to get money out of Amy from betraying me this way bc I helped her all throughout school and supported her with all of my ability by giving up on things I cherished and wanted to accomplish. She cheated on me and I was spiteful and I wanted revenge. (more on the revenge later bc I was with my ex wife pretending to be with her after she cheated on me for a while) (It was easy to do this bc we did not see each other everyday).

Anyways, Dumpling had a long session with me and made me realize I needed to end this quickly so I started to talk about just ending the marriage without anything. That’s when Amy for some reason decided to give me some money for my troubles.

But honestly was this revenge even worth it? I think no. It just caused dumpling pain that I had to postpone this divorce more and more bc my exwife was pushing back the divorce for many reasons. She was being lazy, missed me at times especially drunk called me, and always called me after a fight with her new boyfriend (the guy she cheated on me with). Plus this was such a horrible thing to do for my mental health having her call me every time and crap. Oof.

The reason my marriage failed was Amy was abusive towards me. She used to yell at me daily and wish I was taller or smarter or useful (I am not a good cook). I tried cooking dishes but she would yell at me when I failed. She really wanted a perfect bf and I could not give her that at that time. I felt bad and I was trying my best to do what she wanted but I realized trying my best was work rather than me trying to make her feel happy. It was more of a chore than anything else. She was always wanting to have more fun and enjoy the high life. She had a friend who was a sugarbaby and she was like ooo lets create a page of me and see how many people hit on me and ask me for stuff maybe I can go on “dates” with them and see if they pay for me. I was not in agreement with this and I told her to delete it. This was around 2017. Later on right after marriage I come to find out that this page of her was still active as I saw her email (at this time she became strangely defensive of me using her phone which I found odd). She keeps most of her logins about the same so I knew most of her pws (idk why she used the common ones) Anyways, I saw her there which makes sense BUT the problem was that she had NEW PICTURES of her that I recently took (just weeks old). It was horrible to think about but I never confronted her of this even though I knew it was my way out. Idk why I did not break up with her. Idk why I didn’t just confront her. I think I just wanted to keep talking to her......so I just went to the strip club and had a dance with a lady. I basically cheated on her but ofc its just touching no kissing or sex. But still. I created a divide between us. I became more and more aloof as the days went by. I used to text her many times a day. Then it became once a day, then every other day, then once a week.

The next time I saw her she already had more signs of cheating. I saw tinder messages, I saw a weird ass lingerie (which she said she bought for me but didn’t like it so she was throwing away) (I smelled it and it smelled like a man) This was after I came back to her in July. I was not surprised as I already became more distant with her but still showing her affection on the outside. She didn’t know I read her Tinder msgs on her watch bc they were not in her phone for some reason. This time I went crazy. I didn’t give any fcks. I just went out and drank a lot, talked to many people, and I did not do any safe things. I did have a fling with someone for about a month August-Sept. Something I did not tell mamas is that I went to visit Amy basically almost every month. Around September is when I saw she was dating this other dude bc this time I had photo proof that she took and when I finally talked to her about it on March she denied it at first and then said how do you know that? and then finally I did not cheat on you, and then to kicking me out. The reasons why I stayed with her after mamas was just pure revenge. To see how far she would take it which was dumb as I caused unnecessary pain to mamas. My mind was always set on divorcing her but I never brought it up due to revenge. Once I met mamas, I was thinking of actually telling her but Amy beat me to it (I was being evil and trying to make her pay for all of the restaurants we were going to eat). and then tell her at the end of my travels to break up BUT NO she actually did it I think the second day and said “I can’t do this any longer you need to go”. That’s when I was like ooooo but why? what’s going on? anything I can do to fix it? (you know playing dumb for a bit to see if she would confess) [She would never] that’s when I brought up the pictures and confronted her finally. Which at the end she was like we are just friends then switched it to I want you to leave first thing tomorrow then proceeded to go to her friend’s house and sleep there. OOO noo she actually said this the first day I went there. I actually did not sleep with her in the same bed at all. I just remembered that lol my poor memory jeeez.

Was I hoping to get back with her? hell no

Was I doing it to make her hurt by making her say things first before I tell them to her? hell yeah

Anyways, I flew to my mom’s place...ooo wow I finally remember that too. I also hanged out with my best friends and told them the whole ordeal. They were shocked this whole shabam was going on.

I had another travel vacation I had with Amy and her friends to LA but I didn’t want to go bc there was no point.

Amy later called me before that travel and said maybe she was making a mistake but she does not love me right now so she would like to do therapy. I straight up told her no. I told her about the pictures and she still refused to believe it was cheating. oof.

She told me maybe we can talk things out more in LA. But I was hesitant. I didn’t want to go but at the same time I wanted revenge. I lied to mamas......I told her there was a trip to LA that I could go to but I don’t have to. I didn’t give her the details of the truth but rather lied to her and said they were long time friends (referring to Amy) that I don’t care about or care to reconnect (which is true).

So when I went there, I sent a message to everyone on Bumble guys and girls to give me a ride and lets explore LA (to make Amy jealous and bitter) and so I succeeded I made 2 friends who are awesome and still have in LA and I made them meet Amy. For the first part of the trip I stayed at a raunchy place bc I did not want to stay at the same place as Amy. I only hanged out with her one day but I made sure that one day would be with the new friends I made.

The day I met Amy and me and my friends and her friends went to a kbbq place to eat. They bought lots of alcohol. I drank a lot. A LOT.

Then at night they dropped me off at the place where I live. I wanted to go clubbing bc I like dancing and wanted to chill but I stupidly hit on bumble girls too. Why? Bc I didn’t know how mamas would process the whole truth. I always thought younger people did not want to be with someone who was married or actually STILL married. I mean who would want that. And for her to wait for me? Not a chance! Now did I like mamas? oh yeah! Did I love her? I think back then I tried not to get too close to her bc it might just end in ruins.... (bc I saw her tinder and I was afraid just like Amy she would do the same to me somehow, or somehow just use me for other stuff) (that’s the real reason why I did stupid things on bumble in LA. Just to stroke my ego.) but then right after LA trip I decided to give it my all and give up being dumb with texting other girls. I noticed I was being a dumbass and I did not deserve mamas at all (after she found out and how much pain it caused her) (which its stupid bc I should have been like that ever since we decided to be serious....) so that’s why I decided to give my all to mamas and give her a good time but at the same time try to not spend too much money lol but yes make her enjoy the time with me such as going out to many restaurants and give her boba when she’s feeling down.

Even though I did those bad things especially in the beginning.....I did love her each and every day it became more and more. I really loved our talks. I wanted to get to know her more. I loved that our lives were sort of matching (we were both immigrants who came about the same age here), she could speak Spanish, she is very generous, very accommodating, very gentle, quite good looking. I saw traits in her that were quite fitting for a super role model of a mother. Even though she was young she taught me many things about life. How to take care of myself, how to work hard, how to sleep, how to have fun, how to treat people, how to always wear a smile even on those bad days. I generally enjoyed her presence and I was afraid of what would happen bc there were still lies overshadowing my every steps and I didn’t know how to proceed to tell her everything. I honestly did not think of her feelings which makes me sad. I was just thinking about me. And I think I did that not bc I didn’t love her but bc I was too afraid the story would repeat itself. Even though, I had a fear it might end up badly I still gave it my all. My whole heart, my whole time, my whole essence.

I’m glad mamas decided to move away from me bc she deserves something better than this horrible monstrosity I created.....If we ever cross paths many years from now that would be awesome but I won’t plan on dreaming about it.

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Moving forward I will be very open with whoever I am with bc I learned without honesty there is no trust. There is no relationship. How can you have a relationship with someone if you never get to learn who a person really is? I do not want to be remembered a liar EVER. I am not fake. I did and do love dumpling. It was just my fear that drove me to our end. I will not have fear any longer bc I have learned that through thinking these past weeks that if the girl loves me for me she will accept all of my past errors I have made as I will grow and I’m growing away from this bad energy I created. I will never again lie to someone even if it hurts bc true relationships are built on honesty and trust and I yearn to find someone I can fully love and be fully loved in return by knowing each others outmost selves and know that we will never leave each other. That’s what I am seeking in this world and I hope everyone else in this world can find that for themselves too :)

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cocobeanncteez · 3 years

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ATEEZ Jongho Imagine: When he's still in contact with his ex-mistress. (Mafia au)

Anonymous said: hii idk if u take reqs but i really enjoy ur storyies n wanted to req smth angsty......mafia jongho who still is in touch w his exmistress n his wife does not like it.... ending can be anyth thx

A/N: Thank you for requesting! My requests are actually closed right now, but I loved this idea so I decided to write it! I hope you like it!

Genre: Angst, mafia au.

Pairing: Mafia!Jongho / Husband!Jongho x reader (fem)

Warnings: profanities, mentions of abuse, alcohol, cheating, and guns.

Tears streamed down your face while your back was pressed against the wall, watching your husband, Jongho, get changed to go who knows where.

The two of you had gotten into the worst argument you've ever had. Jongho's toxic ex-mistress was trying to fuck up your relationship yet again, but your husband just couldn't see that. She was his mistress for five years and older than him by seven years; she was the reason why Jongho got into the mafia world. He did love her a lot, but she used him only for her pleasure and abused him on countless occasions. One day, she decided to leave him and he was completely shattered. You entered his life a few months later, and it took you nearly a year to pick up every piece and put him back together. When she suddenly came back into his life, Jongho didn't tell you about it. They chose to speak once in a while... until she found out about you and decided to cause a lot of drama. You were beyond uncomfortable with that fact that your husband kept in touch with her; even after you expressed how you felt about it, your words went into his ears and left just as fast. You wondered how much longer you could tolerate this, cause honestly, you were so close to your limit.

The sound of a gun cocking brought you out of your thoughts. You glanced at Jongho who was thoroughly checking his handgun before he placed it inside his leather jacket.

"Where are you going?" you asked in concern, hoping it wasn't a mission, although he could handle it if it was one. The worst part about being in the mafia was never knowing whether your loved ones would come back alive once they walk out the door.

"That's none of your business," he replied, making your heart ache.

"I'm your wife, Jongho, it is my business," you said in a soft tone. "Are you going on a mission or—" He left before you could finish talking, slamming the door harshly behind him.

You slid down against the wall, putting your head in your hands while you started crying again. Why couldn't he see how much he was hurting you?

"Y/N! Y/N, wake up!" you felt someone shaking your body. You accidentally fell asleep on the floor while crying last night.

"How the fuck is she sleeping in that position? Her neck is gonna hurt badly."

You slowly opened your eyes, immediately meeting San's dark brown ones. Mingi was next to him, looking at you like as if you were an alien.

"No offense, but you look like shit," Mingi commented, making you snort.

You got up from the floor, groaning in pain due to the pain you felt all over your body, especially in your neck.

"Told you she's gonna be in pain," San murmured to Mingi.

The two of them left you to shower while they made some breakfast. You checked your reflection in the mirror, not surprised to see the puffy bags under your swollen eyes.

You were sure Jongho didn't come back last night, and you really wanted to know where he was.

After taking a shower and having breakfast with San and Mingi, you decided to ask them about Jongho's whereabouts.

"Guys, do you know where Jongho is?"

"Nope," Mingi said. On the other hand, San noticeably tensed up.

"You were with him, weren't you?" you questioned San.

"Not really, but we were at the same club," he said, avoiding eye contact. San has been your bestfriend ever since you were kids, so you could easily tell that there was something else he wasn't telling you about.

"Sannie, I know you're hiding something from me," you crossed your arms over your chest. "You're my bestfriend, not Jongho's, so you better tell me now."

He took a deep breath. "You're not going to be happy about it."

Your eyes widened, immediately realizing what he meant. "He was with that stupid bitch?!"

You lit a scented candle and stripped your clothes off before sitting in the whirlpool tub in your bathroom. You felt like shit the entire day and you really just needed to relax.

After a few minutes, you heard your bathroom door open and Jongho walked in, eyes immediately settling on you. You were surprised he came home so fast after being with his ex-mistress.

"I'm sorry," your husband said, sitting at the edge of the tub. You ignored him, closing your eyes, trying to focus on the warm water instead. "So you're just going to ignore me now?" You didn't say anything while you got out of the tub, wrapping your wet body with a towel.

"Y/N, talk to me," Jongho mumbled, following you to the closet. You wore your panties and a white tank top before moisturizing your legs. "Fuck, Y/N. Talk to me!" Jongho's voice raised a little. "Say something for fucks sake!"

You turned to look at him. "Why don't you go talk to your ex-mistress instead?"

"She means nothing to me!"

You took a deep breath. "Did you sleep with her?" you questioned your husband, staring right into his eyes.

Jongho's jaw dropped a little in shock. "I would never ever be unfaithful to you. How could you even think that I—"

"You were drunk and you spent the night at your ex-mistress' place, Jongho!" you yelled, cutting him off. "You spent the night at that fucking bitch's place after all the shit she did to you! What do you expect me to think?!"

"I wouldn't have been there if I wasn't drunk," he stated, taking your hands in his. "But believe me, nothing happened between us last night. I passed out on her couch."

You chucked bitterly. "You expect me to believe that? You really think I'd believe that after what happened a few months ago?" you asked, referring to the time when he kissed her while being extremely drunk.

"I told you I would never look at another woman as long as I wear this," he held his hand up, pointing to his wedding ring.

"Wow, that makes this situation a whole lot better!" you said sarcastically. Jongho's lips pulled into a thin line. He really didn't know what to do; all he knew was he fucked up big time.

Jongho sighed deeply. "Okay, I know I fucked up and I'm sorry," he said after a few seconds of silence.

You scoffed, tears brimming your eyes. "I've been telling you for months now that I-I," you choked out a sob while the tears began to roll down your face. "That I'm uncomfortable with you having any sort of contact with her, but you don't give a fuck. I wouldn't have any issues with you talking to her if she wasn't constantly trying to screw things up between us. Why can't you see that she's messing things up between us? Why do you always fucking defend her when everyone else can see what she's doing?"

Jongho kept quiet, listening to every word you said, thinking about all the fights you two had because of her. "I can't tolerate this anymore. I'm literally done, Jongho," you continued. "I really can't handle it anymore. I tried my best to tolerate everything, but I'm fucking exhausted now. What's the point of being married to someone who clearly prefers the company of his ex-mistress?" Jongho's eyes widened at your words, wondering if what he was thinking was right or wrong.

His thoughts were confirmed once you were about to take your wedding ring off; he immediately put his hand over yours, stopping you from doing so.

"Don't," he whispered, pain and fear clear in his beautiful eyes. "Please don't. I love you, Y/N." He leaned his forehead against yours. "I swear she means nothing to me. I'll stop talking to her. I'm so sorry for hurting you. Please don't leave me." You felt a wet drop fall onto your cheek, making you look up at your husband. This was the first time you saw Jongho crying and the sight of it broke your heart. You cupped his cheeks, wiping his tears away.

"Don't leave," he murmured, more tears rolling down his perfect face.

"I won't," you sighed. You could never leave him; you loved him way too much. "But you have to promise me that you'll cut her out of your life completely, Jongho. It's damaging our relationship."

"I promise I will," he vowed, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist, scared that you might disappear. You slightly smiled, giving him a soft kiss that instantly made him feel relaxed. You could only hope he would listen to you this time.

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dreamersdreamloud · 3 years

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Coming Home To You (Part 2)

AN: Kara is not Supergirl. She’s human and a reporter :)

Many of you have requested a part two so here you go! This is part of a book that I’m working on so enjoy this sneak peek

“This was a mistake.” Lena paces around inside her penthouse.

Kara stands awkwardly in the middle of Lena’s living room. She watches her lover in distress, her mind running into a million thoughts. What would Alex say when she finds out? What would Eliza think of her when she finds out?

She betrayed her oldest sister. It looks bad but most importantly she feels terrible. Kara let her temptations get the best of her. She shouldn’t have gotten so close to Lena when (Y/N) was away. She shouldn’t have comforted her most of the time when they heard the news that (Y/N) went missing during a mission.

They shouldn’t have assumed that the person they care and love for was dead without any hard evidence.

“Did you know?! Did you know that she was alive this whole time?!” Lena yells at the blonde Danvers.

Kara was taken by surprise that Lena is yelling at her. She never yells at her. She never experienced her anger toward her.

“What? No! Of course not!” Kara quickly replies.

“How could you not know?! You literally write about international news, war stories, political topics, Kara!”

“I’m just a reporter, Lena! I’m not a damn government spy! When I heard about my sister going missing. . . I tried to find leads, Lena! I TRIED! Nothing came out. No trace. No witnesses. No clues of what happened to my sister and her team!”

Lena shakes her head in silence. Her tears were starting to form again. The young CEO thinks about the decisions she has made that have come to this very moment. She shouldn’t have accepted the youngest Danvers’ help and comfort when (Y/N) wasn’t around. She was a fool for falling for Kara’s touch and caring words.

She tragically replaced (Y/N)’s kisses with Kara’s.

“I need to find her. . . I need to find (Y/N).” Lena frantically says. “I just need to explain to her that this was a mistake. None of this was serious.”

Kara looks into the floor and shakes her head in disapproval.

“Lena . . .”

“I’m sure she’ll understand. She has always been reasonable, right? God where could she be. A local bar! I just need to look up the local bars. She can’t be far. I-”

“LENA!” Kara interrupted.

The raven haired stops rambling and looks at Kara with frustration.

“WHAT KARA?! I need to find your sister! I need to fix my relationship with her!”

“What about us?” Kara questions her actions, her reasoning.

Lena huffs out a laugh, “Us? There’s no us, Kara! This was a mistake. I MADE A MISTAKE. I love your sister, Kara. You know that!”

It pains Kara to hear those words coming out of Lena’s mouth. Kara fell in love with Lena. In all truth, she fell in love with her while you were dating Lena. She kept it to herself. The youngest Danvers didn’t want to ruin the relationship you have with Lena. She thought that you being “dead” was an opportunity for her to have a chance being with the young CEO.

Lena sobs, her knees falling to the ground. The stress and frustrations are getting to her. Kara didn’t hesitate to be by her side, comforting her the best she could without making the situation worse. Lena cries against Kara’s shoulder.

“It’s not ideal to go out and find my sister, Lena. We should probably wait until tomorrow. Let her cool off. I’ll find her first thing in the morning and make this right.”

“Okay.” Lena mumbles.

****

It’s been three whole days that you haven’t stepped out of your hotel room. You have cried endlessly. Scream multiple times. You even broke a couple of items in the room. You drank until you blackout and woke up repeating the same thing you did yesterday.

You have decided that you need to put your hurt feelings aside. You need to reunite with your family and friends. You mentally think about how you’re going to pretend that you didn’t see Kara and Lena a few days ago. You will keep your distance. You will maintain your cover.

Your captain has already arranged your new deployment. You will be leaving at the end of the month and have a new assignment to take over. Your plan is to just get away from here.

You've been in the bathroom for a while. Looking at yourself in the mirror. It’s obvious that it looks like you have gotten no sleep. You can just pass it off and just say that your military position doesn't give you enough sleep

You fix the imperfections of your new set of uniform before heading out. You take a deep breath and hope that no one catches you acting differently.

***

Location: Lena’s Office

“I can’t find her, Lena.” Kara desperately says.

Lena looks out to the window, standing straight as possible. She was keeping her distance from the youngest Danvers. She can’t trust herself being near the reporter.

“HOPE can’t find her too. The face recognition hasn’t picked up her face anywhere. . .”

Kara’s phone rings out loud. The reporter sighs because it’s her sister, Alex. She hasn’t talked to her since you confronted your youngest sister. Kara hopes that Alex hasn’t found out, she can’t bear to handle Alex’s lecture and disappointment.

Kara answers the call and puts it on speaker for Lena to hear as well.

Kara: “Hello?”

Alex: “Kara! Where are you?!” She said cheerfully.

Kara: “I’m following a lead for my article. Why what’s up?”

Alex: “(Y/N) is back! She’s alive, Kara! She’s alive!”

Kara fumbles her words, not knowing how to react or say. She didn’t want to ruin her sister’s excitement.

Alex: “Get over here at the DEO. J’onn have already picked up Eliza. They’re on their way back here. Bring Lena!”

The call ended without Kara saying another word. Alex was too happy and excited to see you again. She’s happy that she gets to see you “first.”

***

*A few hours earlier*

You didn’t head straight to the DEO to surprise your sister, Alex. You made a quick stop despite the situation you were in. The Uber car pulls up to the two story house that you were looking for. There’s physical changes to the house last time you came here. The grass was looking more green and the roses were more full. By looking at the driveway, the two people you wanted to see are still home.

You rang the doorbell once and you can tell that someone is on their way to answer the door. You mentally ready yourself before they open the door.

A woman gasped as they answered the door and saw you standing firmly in the middle.

“(Y/N)?” Eve can’t believe her eyes.

“Eve, who’s at the door?” Lex calls out in the background.

Eve was speechless that she couldn’t answer her husband. Lex was a tad worried that Eve wasn’t answering him right away. The man makes her way to the door and gives the same shocking reaction as his wife.

“(Y/N)! You bastard! You’re alive!” He shouts with joy.

You smiled at both of them. You step in to give Eve a hug and then give Lex the same affection. Immediately, Lex can tell that there’s something wrong. He just knows. The man has always been like a brother to you and he feels the same way too.

The married couple lead you to the living room to have a more comfortable environment to catch up. They didn’t have to worry about being late to their work since they’re technically the bosses of their own department at L-Corp. Eve comes in with some tea and mini sandwiches for everyone. The three made small talk, giving them the truth about what really happened in the months you were missing.

Lex and Eve felt sorry for you how much pain and recovery you have to go through alone after that accident happened. You assure them that it wasn’t a big deal and that you’re very happy to live another day.

After the good catch up, Lex thought it was time to find out what was bothering you.

“(Y/N). . Why exactly are you here? Aren’t you supposed to see your sisters first? Or perhaps Lena?”

You looked to the side, took a deep breath and sighed loudly. Your mind goes back to Lena.

“Did you know?” You vaguely ask your ex-girlfriend’s brother.

“Know what?” Lex replies, Eve looks equally confused. This confirms that no one knows, especially your mother and Alex.

“About Kara and Lena. . .” Lex thinks for a moment before he replies.

“All I know is that they’re close. When you were away, Kara had been keeping Lena company.”

You nodded. He’s telling the truth. Small anger was inside you but you’re mad at Lex. You start to get mad at yourself for not being around much.

“I caught them. . . I found your sister with my sister. It was clear that the love bites and the flushed redden cheeks on Lena were from Kara. . .”

Lex suddenly feels stupid for not seeing this. He thinks about how he didn’t see the little hints that his sister was having a lover, becoming a cheater. Eve looks at you with sad eyes, she gets up and wraps you in a hug.

“(Y/N) I don’t know what to say . . . I just - I really didn’t know. If only I have seen it sooner I would have prevented Lena from making those-”

“Lex no.” You interrupted him. “Your sister is her own person. She can decide what she wants to do. You couldn’t have prevented her feelings for someone else. I’m not mad at you Lex. You’re always like a brother to me. You have helped me so much and I will continue to do the same. Despite the situation. This is between Lena and I.”

Lex sucks in his lips and nods, “Did the two of you officially break up or talk about it?”

“No. I left right when I found out. My heart is really fragile at the moment but I promise you like I promised to Lillian years ago that I will not harm Lena in any way. I have never physically abused her and I will not let this dictate my actions.”

“You’re a good person, (Y/N). I’m sorry that it had to come out like this. I was desperately waiting for the two of you to get married someday. Getting the chance to call you my sister-in-law.”

You sadly laugh. You almost forgot about the ring that was attached to your military dog tags. You reveal your necklace to Lex and Eve. Eve was the first to react fast.

“(Y/N)! That ring looks so beautiful!” Eve focused on the diamond on the ring. It wasn’t too small nor too big. It was the perfect size.

“Damnit Lena.” Lex says under his breath while his wife talks to (Y/N) about the ring. “You better realize that you threw out the best Danvers sister. This one was going to marry you.”

#lena luthor #lena luthor imagine #lena luthor x reader #lena x reader #kara x lena #fanfic

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trekkie-in-space · 3 years

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Straight Fact about Marsella/Marseille from La Casa de Papel and some following Headcanon/Theories ✨✨

- Fact -

- Very discreet, he observes a lot and talk a little, called at a least at two reprises a mute (by Bogotà and Denver)

- Close to animals, especially dogs, love them, respect them, trust them more than human. He is against animal suffering.

- Ex-Soldier, has been called an assassin (by Bogotà) and Hitman (by Denver), killed human, killing a human is not a problem (straight up threatened Denver to cut him in half)

- Lost all his friends during war

- Had a dog during war, the dog was very loyal to him, stayed when human left (That dog was probably not Pamuk)

- Had a dog, Pamuk, very loyal/close to him too, got killed by children playing war

- Know many languages : Spanish, French, Italian, German, English, Croatian, Serbian

- React very quickly to Denver grabbing his arm/to physical provocation was trained to react that way + probably has a sharp instinct, not shy to threaten physically and orally someone

- Answer quickly to the professor order, see him as the chief/boss and obey him. One word from him is enough, do not discuss order.

- Extremely lucky - dude crash a car and get out pretty much without a scratch - I BEG YOUR PARDON ? - the car rolled and all, what if it had deformed to the point he couldn't get out ? What if he had broken a bone in the shock and couldn't dash out ? Because you can protect yourself all you want, getting in a crash, even one you plan, is very dangerous. Dude was like 'I have things to do and nothing will prevent me from doing them' and just walked out like nothing happened. Wtf man ?

- Has a lot of respect for the professor and to his plan. Will defend the plan when the professor wants to take risk but still follow change in plans if the risk is less than the gain (When they fight after Lisbon 'death' and then go into the crowd disguised.).

- Try to provide emotional support to the professor, he is clumsy about it but do his best and tries a lot of things

- Caring toward the professor, with (and I'm sorry but I don't know how to say it differently, but..) A certain tenderness. Like anybody in the group (or most) they are not just colleagues. But there is just a softness with him.

- React to Palermo 'Boum Boum Ciao' the same way the professor does. Seem annoyed, middly ashamed but also taken by the energy around (to crack a smile like the professor).

- Can be very intimidating if choose to, but in relaxed situation seem very kind/soft and not unbearing or obnoxious/showing.

- Extrapolations on Canon, Theories and Headcanons -

- The last hit he gave the professor when they were fighting is not because he misread the situation but because the professor just said Lisbon could betray them (which is technically true) and his hit was his way to say, 'have some faith/respect in your wife'

- During that fight he intentionally took hit from the professor to allow him to unload stress/give him a win. Why ? Because he is a trained ex-soldier who clearly shows good physical abilities, he knows how to fight and could probably take on Sergio even if he know how to fight too. Prior to this we see two scenes. One in a relaxed sitting (the soccer match) where Helsinki give him a slap and he doesn't react badly, he takes the hit and laugh, they were in front of each other he could have potentially avoid the hit, but did not hold grudges for that hit, basically taking a hit or two is not much for him and won’t be enough for him to get angry/escalate a situation. BUT during the pig scene to remove a micro, he reacts badly to physical provocation by Denver after he had to defend his position not to touch the animal with the rest of the team. Even if just a few said something, the whole team was baffled by his decision/principle, it was a moment where he was 'alone against all' and he defended himself in a quick and efficient manner.

They are in a middle of a heist, they are allies and he clearly does not want to fight, he fights because Sergio wants to fight and he probably doesn't give his all but just enough not to get bullied and give Sergio a mean to keep unleashing on him. (Man I swear you're doing too much)

- Definitely have some trauma and problem concerning human and trust. In two separate points, he has lost a lot or enough, and he had been deeply hurt by that (his friends all dead, his animals), probably have some unhealed emotional scars or one that heal badly and one way to cope is to keep a bit of distance + he seems to have a certain discipline/restrain in general.

Second, he mistrust humans, he is careful around them. Probably (definitely) has seen a large panel of the worst humanity has to offer. Probably don't trust easily but love when someone proves him they are worth trusting - which I think is what happened with the professor. Otherwise probably work alone or keep some distance.

- Jumping on that. He completely agreed to the professor as the boss, and his boss. Coming from a military background, he is used to having someone above him giving order and he answer promptly to the professor order or demand without questioning it/arguing (except when it touch to something the professor explicitly stated they should not do like improvisation, then he will argue). Overall he trusts him, might even admire him or have a deep respect for him and his plan/what de does/his personality.

-> I also believe his personality is one of a 'shadow' by that I mean he is his best as close support to someone/something acting behind for the good of the plan (which he does in the series), but I think he thrives in that role. He is a real doer. Dude will do anything that need to be done. like, he is perfect for a second, with someone above him to direct the action.

- Always had a good relationship to animals, now it had become a coping mechanism and a way to have companionship without the burden of 'human' nature. Not that he doesn't miss more close relationship to humans. Nor is it not painful when he loses someone or an animal close to him. it's just he find solace in animals compagny.

- Very soft, kind, caring inside. He let that out for the people he care about/trust. We see him mostly with the professor and above it being his role to care for the professor and all the 'beside' matter and needs. There are a lot of moments where he is very attentive to the professor or caring in ways that go above a professional setting (I'm sorry but when in the latest season when he put the cover back on Sergio as he sleep.. Such tenderness I swear ! or the way he tries to offer him emotional comfort/help)

-> Also the way he care for Sofia..

- Give off asexual vibe, sorry not sorry but it's true. That man is ace.

- Why is he on the heist ? I think outside of money and personal material gain he might be in for revenge against the system. He was a soldier, an executor in the government hands, he may want to fuck the system, give shit to a system that has used him, that took a lot from him. Maybe he was betrayed by that government and the people in it, root for his mistrust of human or just added enough to a preexisting base.

- The way he reacts physically and violently to Denver grabbing him when he turn away is very telling. He has a strong instinct and sharp reflex. But also definitely found himself in a situation where this would have been a life of death situation or overall high danger. This is absolutely pure speculation but outside of his work as a soldier and now hitman this reaction could be rooted deeper in child abuse and trauma, which could also reflect to his discreet and unshowing personality, he keeps to himself.

Anyway this looked like reflexes from training and from past traumatic experience. -> In a way his reaction seemed a bit too much (definitely) for the situation they were in, but also somewhat 'slow' (I'm interpreting too much the acting but whatever) as if he thought about reacting the way he did, nearly didn't but still did because he was pissed off from earlier and had been triggered. So he just decided to go with the outburst, and set his position straight.

-> Being grabbed from behind/prevented from leaving might also be from a fear/trigger to be trapped (the way he place himself behind in the class, close to the door (which could be nothing lol x) )). Which could also be tied to his time in military where his agency had been stripped from him completely/where he was lacking freedom and had to do things he didn't want to do.

- A big BIG softy, but also those hands have killed and will kill again. (in a way him and Helsinki are a bit alike)

- Keeps most of his emotions inside, tend to stay mostly neutral and what he show is just the tip of the iceberg, but don't be fooled, that man have a lot of emotions.

- Probably need a lot of time to open up, but do info dump at time when he think it might be relevant (ex: during the pig scene, or in the car with Sergio after Lisbon 'death') and you're like 'what ?' very likely need to be asked question if you want to know things about him.

- He likes honesty, but probably won't be himself, tend to be secretive, probably a good liar. He will be honest on a few important things otherwise...

- That man way of love his act of service x)

#LA CASA DE PAPEL #MONEY HEIST #MARSEILLE #MARSELLA #LCDP #EL PROFESSOR #SERGIO MARQUINA

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babymetaldoll · 3 years

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Family probation period (Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader)

Requested: Yes

Summary: Matthew Gray Gubler meets his girlfriend’s family on Christmas eve. Just one detail: none of them knew she was dating.

Warnings: Cursing, mentions of abusive relationships

Category: Fluff

Pairing: Matthew Gray Gubler/ Reader

Wordcount: 3,5K

A/N: A late Christmas story, but I think we are still in the holiday season... right? also: requests are officially open

Masterlist

- "Are you sure about this?"- (Y/N) looked at Matthew and he nodded with a huge grin on his face. They were parked outside her parent’s house. They had driven from Los Angeles to San Francisco to spend Christmas Eve with them.

- "Why not? I bet they are gonna love me"- he answered with his “Matthew Gray Gubler’s certified to make you drop your panties smile.”

- "I don’t know, I’m nervous"

- "Well missy, it was your idea to drop by your parents and surprise them with the news of your adorable boyfriend, so?"- (Y/N) smiled and nodded.

- "And you thought it was a great idea, by the way, that's why you are here"

- "Yeah"- Gubler sighed and looked outside- "Why do you still trust my good judgment?"

- "Well…"- (Y/N) looked at me and bit her lips- "You are very convincing"- he smiled and kissed her lips softly.

- "It's gonna be ok, they love you, I love you, which means we are gonna get along"- she nodded and smiled.

- "Alright, I'll pretend that makes sense"- Gubler chuckled and kissed her again

- "Let's do this, Bunny".

Matthew and (Y/N) had been dating for over ten months. At first, they decided to take things slow, get to know each other better, try to make things work with their crazy schedules. But soon, they realized they had fallen in love, and “taking things slow” was not their thing.

(Y/N) had decided to wait for the right moment to tell her parents she had found someone. Her last relationship had been a nightmare, and she knew her family (especially her brother) was going to be apprehensive about her new boyfriend. However, she was eager to tell them how happy she was with Matthew and how great he was with her.

He was, hands down, the best boyfriend she had ever had. He was sweet and thoughtful. Sure, he wasn’t perfect. He would forget many things 'cos his head was in hundredth places at once (she was almost sure he had ADHD). And sometimes it felt she had a boyfriend and a son all wrapped in the same 6 ft adorable manchild she was dating. But still, he was the best boyfriend.

She was hoping her parents and family would see he made her happy.

- “Ok, here we go”- Matthew rang the bell and turned to (Y/N), excited. She laughed and opened the door.

- “I still got my key.”

- “Right.”

- “Hello? Mom? Dad?”- she took a step inside and looked around. Her father stood up from the couch quickly and nearly ran to the door.

- “Peanut! You are home!”

Matthew smiled and held their bags staring at the scene. In all the time they had been together, he had heard a lot about (Y/N)’s parents. She loved them deeply, and he knew she wanted to share their relationship with them.

Her last boyfriend was an abuser, he hit her, and she kept it from everybody for months before breaking up. That’s why he could understand why her family would be apprehensive. And he was ready to show them how much he loved her.

- “My baby is home!”- (Y/N)’s mom appeared from the kitchen and hugged her daughter, who was still wrapped in her father’s embrace.

- “Guys! I can’t breathe!”- she pretended to be suffocating and giggled.

- “Too bad! You are never home! So bear with it!”- her father chuckled and kissed the top of her head

- “By the way, (Y/N), who’s the man standing by the door?”- her mother asked and frowned, looking at Gubler. He smiled and waved, making his best to look as nice as possible.

- “Guys, I want you to meet Matthew Gray Gubler… my boyfriend.”

And the silence in the room was as thick and uncomfortable as possible.

- “Hello”- Gubler smiled and shook their hands- “It’s a pleasure to meet you, (Y/N) talks so much about you”- but neither of them knew what to say.

- “Guys, it’s ok, he is a good guy”- (Y/N) wrapped an arm around Matthew, and he immediately kissed the top of her head.

- “Did I hear my sister has a new boyfriend?”- footsteps coming down the stairs surprised the couple, and (Y/N) wide opened her eyes immediately.

- “Adam!! You are home!!”- she hugged her brother so tight, he couldn’t help but laugh.

- “I’ve got the feeling you missed me.”

- “So fucking much!! When did you get home?”

- “Last night, mom said you’d be coming for Christmas, so I thought I could surprise you.”

- “And where are my nephews? I wanna spoil my babies!”

- “With Emma getting the last few things mom needed from the grocery’s, but they should be here any minute. I missed you, kitty.”

Adam kissed her forehead and looked at her sweetly. It was clear he loved and cared about his little sister. But as soon as his eyes reached Matthew, his whole face changed.

- “And who is this?”

- “This is my boyfriend, Matthew”- (Y/N) walked back to Gubler and held his hand- “He is awesome, so be nice, ok?”

- “Nice to meet you, Adam. (Y/N) talks so much about you. I was looking forward to meeting you”- Matthew shook his hand and smiled.

- “Funny, she never mentioned you.”

- “Yeah,”- (Y/N) explained- “I wanted to give you guys a surprise, and I knew if I told you over the phone, you were going to stress out, so I thought it would be better if you just met him”

Her family nodded but didn’t look pretty convinced.

- “I know you are all real apprehensive about (Y/N) having a new boyfriend, but I promise you, I’m nothing like her ex, and I wanna show you how much I care for her if you let me.”

Gubler was sincere and upfront. (Y/N)’s parents nodded, but her brother just crossed his arms and frowned.

- “Adam, be nice”- she warned and grabbed her bag- “Let’s leave these in my room, Gub.”

- “You are not sharing rooms with a boy!”- her brother instantly replied, but she ignored him and walked upstairs. Matthew took the bags from her hands and followed her.

- “Sorry”- (Y/N) whispered and closed her eyes, embarrassed. Gubler left the bags on the floor of her room and walked towards her to hold her hands.

- “Hey, it’s ok, they are just shocked,”- he whispered and smiled at her, trying his best to make her feel better.

- “I would be shocked too if our daughter walks into our house and tells us she has been dating nearly a year with some guy I’ve never heard about.”

(Y/N) chuckled and sighed. The words “Our daughter” had been enough to make her forget everything that troubled her. The idea of a future with him was too sweet to worry about anything else.

- “Now, back to what really matters here”- Gubler took a look around and pointed at the walls- “Did you have some kind of obsession with My Chemical Romance growing up, or is it just me?”

- “Eh… nope”- she simply answered and laughed. There were many posters of the band on every wall in that room.

- “I don’t know, I’m getting the vibe you had a thing on that guy… he kinda looks like a vampire.”

- “Gerard? he was…”- (Y/N) made a pause and looked at the walls- “I had a little crush on him”

- “Little?”- Gubler raised an eyebrow

- “Yeah, just a little, nothing to worry about… I just wanted to marry him, that’s all.”- he chuckled and leaned in to kiss her.

- “I guess you never know someone until you walk into their teenage room.”

Matthew was nervous, but he was never going to face it. He wanted to make a good impression, and he wanted (Y/N)’s parents to like him. He was in that relationship for the long run, and it was important for him to have her parent’s approval. And clearly, now her brother’s too.

- “So, Matthew, what do you do?”- Adam asked him as everybody gathered in the kitchen, drinking eggnog and setting the last few things for the Christmas dinner.

- “I majored in film directing in New York University’s Tisch School of the Arts"- (Y/N) bit her lips and smiled. She was torn between feeling embarrassed and enjoying the moment.

- “Film directing”- Adam looked at him and raised an eyebrow.

- “Yeah, I always loved making movies and telling stories”- Gubler sipped his cup of coffee and smiled.

- “But, do you have a regular job?”- Adam asked and raised an eyebrow- “Making movies doesn’t sound like a real job to me.”

- “Adam!”- (Y/N) looked at her brother with daggers in her eyes

- “What? I’m getting to know your boyfriend, isn’t that what you wanted?”

- “Yes, but you don’t have to be a dickhead”- the young woman walked a few steps closer to her brother and raised an eyebrow- I haven’t seen you in six months. Can you just be nice?”

Adam meant no harm, but he was worried. He had been the one his sister called after her ex-boyfriend hit her. He had been the one who took her out from that apartment, picked up her things, and took care of her. Of course, he was scared she might get hurt again.

- “And where are you from?”- (Y/N)’s mom asked him as they all walked to the living room and sat down.

- “Las Vegas,”- Matthew answered and smiled- “My family still lives there, and we visit as often as we can.”

- “So, you’ve met his family”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) looked at her daughter and raised an eyebrow, surprised.

- “Yeah, they are the best! We spent Halloween with them this year. We took Matthew’s nephews trick and treating. It was really fun!”

Mrs. (Y/L/N) nodded and stared at the scene. Gubler was sitting next to her daughter, holding her hand and looking at her in honest and deep adoration. It was strange and shocking, but at the same time, she could feel he was a nice guy who loved her very much. And that was all she needed to know.

Meanwhile, Mr. (Y/L/N) started asking Gubler questions about his family, school, and what he did for a living.

- “Right now, I have an acting job.”

- “Really?”- (Y/N)’s brother raised an eyebrow, surprised- “TV?”

- “Yeah.”

Adam was about to keep asking about it when his wife, Emma, walked in with their five-year-old twins.

- “Aunt (Y/N)!!

- “Munchkins!”- the young woman opened her arms and hugged them at the same time as the kids held her legs tight, almost making her fall.

- “You are so big! why aren’t you two babies anymore?”

- “(Y/N)! hey”- Emma walked over and looked at her, but suddenly she just gasped.

- “What?”- Adam asked, confused- “What is it?”

- “Oh shit!”- she nearly dropped the bag and wide opened her eyes, suddenly- “Why is Spencer Reid in our living room?”

Matthew looked at (Y/N), and neither of them knew what to do or say. So he just stood up and walked over to shake her hand.

- “Hi, I’m Matthew, (Y/N)’s boyfriend.”

- “No freaking way!”- Emma whispered and held his hand, repeating a little slowlier- “No freaking way”.

Adam looked at his wife and didn’t understand a word she was saying. His parents didn’t get what was going on, and (Y/N) just bit her lips, trying not to laugh. She never thought that could happen.

- “I’m gonna put an eye on dinner…”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) said and stood up- “(Y/N), can you give me a hand?”

- “Sure mom”- she said and smiled at Gubler. He winked and watched her walking to the kitchen with her mom. Things were a little weirder than he thought.

- “Ok, what was that?”

- “What was what, mom?

- “Emma nearly died when she saw Matthew. Why?”

- “‘Cos he is in a tv show and she recognized him, I think”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) looked at her and sighed.

- “Is he good with you?”

- “The best”

- “‘Cos he looks like he is a nice guy”

- “I swear, mom, he is the sweetest. He wanted to come and meet you to show you he is nothing like Bret”- (Y/N) held a bowl with roasted potatoes and smiled at her mother- “I love him”

- “You can tell… and he loves you too, especially if he is willing to put up with your brother”

- “Can you tell Adam to stop being an ass?”

- “I can tell him, but that won’t stop him”.

When (Y/N) walked to the dining room, she looked at her boyfriend, who was now sitting on the floor, doing magic tricks for her nephews. She felt her heart was about to burst, staring at the scene. The twins were laughing, and Gubler kept making pennies disappear in front of them.

She couldn’t stop hearing his voice saying “our daughter” over and over again. It was a dream, and it was too soon to even think about it, but it felt so right. It made so much sense.

- “I like him”- her father’s voice took her from her thoughts and forced her to turn around

- “Really?”

- “Yeah… he’s good with kids, and it’s clear he loves you, that’s all I need to know”- he kissed the top of his daughter’s head and sighed.

- “Your brother hates him though”

- “I kind of figured”

- “The fact Emma is drooling over him is not making things better”- (Y/N) looked at her father and just laughed.

- “Are you kidding me?”

- “No, he took her upstairs to cool her off”

- “Shit… well, it could be worst”

- “How?”- she looked at her father in silence

- “Well… Adam hasn’t tried to kick him out”

- “Yet”- Mr. (Y/L/N) chuckled at his own joke and shook his head- “Don’t worry peanuts, Matt is safe”.

- “Actually, can you not call him Matt, please? bad memories.”

- “Sure, Matthew it is?”- she nodded and smiled.

- “Thanks dad”

- “Dinner is ready”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) announced after half an hour. She walked to the living room where Adam, Matthew, and her husband were talking.

Gubler was having a good time talking with Mr. (Y/L/N). He was fun and kept telling her funny stories about (Y/N). Adam was still a dick, but at least his father wasn’t paying him much attention, so neither did Gubler.

- “This smells amazing”- Gubler said as he sat down next to (Y/N)- “I’m guessing this is Mrs. (Y/L/N) ’s signature turkey recipe. (Y/N) talked about it the whole way over.”

- “She has the recipe, by the way, if you like it, she can cook it for you”- Mrs. (Y/L/N) smiled proudly.

- “Yeah, just make sure she won’t burn down the house”- Adam joked and felt his sister’s angry eyes on him- “What? I’m making an aimless conversation. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

- “Shut up”

- “She is a great baker”- Matthew continued talking- “She is actually making me gain weight in the latest months”

- “Sure, like you could get fat”- (Y/N) snorted and looked at her boyfriend

- “Hey, you are making me eat cinnamon rolls, cake, and cookies like three times a week”- Gubler chuckled and looked at her- “My pants almost don’t close”

- “So, Matthew”- Emma said suddenly- “How did you two meet?”

- “He actually said I smelled like cinnamon rolls the first time he met me”- (Y/N) smiled and looked at her sister in law.

- “We met at a party, her friend Ana is dating my friend Charlie. And when I saw her, I knew I had to talk to her ‘cos she has the most gorgeous smile I’ve ever seen”- Emma was nearly sighing at those words.

- “And did you recognize him?”- Adam was embarrassed by his wife’s questions, but he couldn’t stop her.

- “No, I had never seen the show…”

- “And do you know the rest of the cast now? Do you hang out?”- Adam looked at Emma and frowned- “What? I’m just asking”

(Y/N) blushed and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath and felt her boyfriend’s hand on hers, knowing what she was about to say.

- “So, we are here today because I wanted you to know Matthew. He is the best guy on earth, and he makes me happy every day”- she made a pause and looked at him.

- “You make me happy too, Bunny”- he whispered and smiled.

- “Ok, so you are in love, is that what you wanted to tell us?”- Adam said with an annoyed voice.

- “No, we wanted to tell you we are moving in together.”

(Y/N) bit her lips after delivering the news. Her parents looked at each other but didn’t seem mad, just surprised. Adam, on the other hand, frowned immediately.

- “Before you start freaking out and yell at me,”- Matthew said with a soft voice- “I need you to know and understand how much I love your sister, and I would never hurt her in any way. Never.”

Her family looked at him in silence. Her father nodded and smiled.

- “It’s clear you are a good guy, Matthew,”- he said, and (Y/N) sighed, feeling relieved to hear those words- “And I know you understand we will always be a little scared something bad might happen to our baby again.”

- “I completely understand. I just want you to know I will never hurt her. I love her, I wanna live with her. I’m here for the long run, and I wish you could all give me a chance”.

(Y/N) felt like crying when she heard those words. Matthew was telling her family how much he loved her. He was showing them he wanted to be with her. Nothing could be better than that.

- “And have you thought about where you’ll live?”- her mother asked, smiling.

- “I recently bought a house,”- Matthew explained- “We are planning to move in after the holidays. Meanwhile, we’ve been busy getting a few things we needed”- he looked so happy, no one could doubt he was excited with the plans.

- “Listen”- no one but Adam, apparently- “If anything happens to my sister, I’m gonna hunt you, I will find you, and I will make you pay.”

- “Adam…”- she tried to argue, but Gubler smiled at her and nodded

- “I know there is nothing I can say that will make you believe me, so I will just ask you to give me the chance to show you how much I love her.”- but Adam didn’t say a word.

- “I know what happened to her was awful, and I know you don’t want anyone hurting her, but that’s not what I wanna do. I just wanna make her happy. If she wants me to.”

Adam looked at his sister, who had tears in her eyes. He couldn’t bear to see her cry, though those weren’t sad tears. She looked at Matthew, and he smiled at her, wiping the tears from her cheeks and kissing her lips sweetly for a second. He whispered, “I love you,” and she giggled.

- “Oh come on!”- Mr. (Y/L/N)- “Even I can see he loves your sister! stop being a dick and be happy for them!”- Adam sighed at his father’s words and stood up.

- “If you fuck it up, you are dead”- he said and reached out his hand to Gubler- “But I trust you won’t”- and Matthew quickly stood up and shook it.

- “I know you just want to take care of her, and I completely understand that”

- “You are in family probation period.”

(Y/N) smiled at her brother, and he winked at her. Finally, she sighed, relieved.

- “I can’t believe you are gonna move in with Dr. Reid!!”- Emma almost shrieked

- “Please don’t”- Adam frowned and looked at his wife- “Don’t make this harder”

- “You are gonna have to watch the show with me, you are gonna love it. I swear you won’t be able to hate him once you know Reid”

(Y/N) looked at Matthew and whispered in his ear.

- “Your family wasn’t embarrassing. Mine was. I’m sorry”- he nearly laughed at those words and shook his head.

- “My friends are embarrassing if it counts”

- “Your friends are my friends, Gubler”

- “Fine, we have embarrassing friends, we are gonna have to live with it”

Gubler moved a little closer, and was ready to kiss her when Adam’s voice stopped him.

- “Just don’t make out with my sister in front of me while you are on probation, dude!”

- “Sorry!”- Gubler nearly jumped on his chair, and (Y/N) chuckled- “Sorry!”.

#Matthew Gray Gubler #matthew gray gubler fanfiction #matthew gray gubler x reader #spencer reid #criminal minds fanfic #mgg fics #mgg fluff #mgg x reader #criminal minds #fluff #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #babymetaldoll writes

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onlinevampire1898 · 2 years

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EUPHORIA: SZN 2 • EP 4

first of all: I’ve waited until the middle of the week to give my two sense on this episode, but I’ve got a lot to say so ladies, gentlemen, theys/thems strap in.

• I have a huge fear of vomit so the HOT TUB SCENE…… immediately ripped my AirPods out, and turned away from the screen.

• rue baby, you need help honey, like girl come on this is gonna kill you.

• ELLIOT AND JULES, WTF ARE YALL DOING, me and my coworker both watch the show and I told her, at the beginning of the season I liked Elliot’s character because I thought he might be the one to really push rue to get help, or that she’d see how bad addiction can get and that she’s now lying to jules and her family and that would push her….. but noooooo!!!! They made me hate him which hurts because I love Dominic and I really wanted to like his character.

• I also don’t like how the first openly gay couple on the show had to have a guy in the middle of it, I’m so sick of mainstream media not giving the lgbtq+ community representation. It’s always either an opposite sex person comes into the mix, or the person isn’t really queer they’re just experimenting, or when they do give representation it’s a-lot of the time a toxic relationship.

• To the people saying jules shouldn’t have to stay with rue if she’s unhappy, and that she shouldn’t have to take care of rue and her drug problem, your absolutely right but cheating on your girlfriend with a her guy friend, you accused her of having a crush on and crying over it…. 👀 now come on cause if your so unhappy you can just break up with her, “but she feels like she can’t because rues sobriety is dependent on her.” And you think when/if she finds out she’s been cheated on isn’t gonna make her go harder on the drugs?

• her being so upset about rue faking an orgasm, I get that but instead of talking to your girlfriend about that you choose the guy, who told you he wants to fuck you both? I think personally I’m not sure if it is truly cannon, that rue is asexual because it would explain how she isn’t very sexual, it would explain how in season one how she said in order to lose her virginity, she had to do drugs and drink beer to get through it. If it was me, no matter how embarrassed or upset I was, I would talk to my partner to figure out the issue, like “hey, how can I pleasure you? What’s going on? You can tell me if you don’t like something I’m doing.” Sex or hooking you of any kind is all about communication and consent. (This is all I’m gonna say on that whole situation for now.)

• So Cassie girl……. Wtf?!?! Why are you letting Nate Jacobs OF ALL MEN, make you ruin your friendship with Maddy and make you this psychotic, like I’m sorry for me personally 1) I would never go after my friends ex or current boyfriend, it’s disgusting, disrespectful, and just cruel. It makes you out like you don’t care about your friendship at all, not to mention Cassie girl you know that he abused Maddy, do you really think that he won’t do the same to you? I’m really upset with how they’re portraying her character this season, especially after her ab*ration last season. Leave the poor girl alone for god sake.

•loving Maddys character development this season, wish she would just fully leave Nate alone but I do know that, women or men in abusive relationships are more likely to go back to their abusers, before fully leaving for the last time. I’m kinda scared for her since it’s very obvious, Nate is only with her to look for that tape she has of his dad.

• on the topic of the Jacobs family, I hate to say it especially since he’s gross, but I’m kinda proud of cal and for how he confronted his family, also his backstory bitch made me sob, and after watching that episode back a second time, it seems like his wife knew something was sus with him and Derek, and I personally think she intentionally trapped him.

(Anyway, that’s the my rant for the day everybody, I want you all to know these are just my opinions, I don’t wanna argue with anyone, I’ll have discussions but I don’t want to be fighting with people if they don’t agree with me, we’ll just agree to disagree. After all this is just a show.)

#euphoria elliot #euphoria #euphoria jules #euphoria rue #rue bennett #cassie howard #cal jacobs #jules vaughn #elliot

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lucky-catttt · 3 years

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Maxwell Lord’s Aphrodite - Pt 1

Summary: When Maxwell Lord’s world comes crashing down, you, his personal assistant bring him back from the pits of despair.

Pairings: Maxwell Lord x Reader (female), Maxwell Lord x You

Rating: Mature 18+ ONLY - I’ve also put a smut alert ahead in bold if you want to skip straight to the good bits ;)

Word Count: 7,381

Warnings: Sexual intercourse, foreplay, mentions of domestic abuse, trauma, drug/alcohol abuse.

A/N: This is my first fan-fic, so the writing might not be fantastic, but if you have any pointers/advice please tell me! I always read stories about Maxwell being a domineering guy and never stories about how he can be romantic and soft. When I watched WW84 especially at the end I saw how emotional and vulnerable he was with Alistair and wanted to write a story that portrayed him as a big cuddly teddy bear under all that masculine exterior. Enjoy!

You’ve worked for black and gold corporation for the better part of 7 years. You were hired as an intern assistant at just 21, soon after the company jettisoned from its humble beginnings inside a matchbox office suite on the corner of a strip mall, to a stock market listed company leasing the top floor in the tallest high rise office building in Los Angeles. Soon after moving in, the top floor office was packed with young, vibrant men and women who helped profits soar. But even at its busiest, Maxwell always made time for his staff. No matter what he was going through, he would give his staff his undivided attention and empathy. If they were having personal or professional problems, he would do everything he could to help. It aligned with his company motto, “life is good, but it can be better”.

He believed it was important to be as personable and helpful to others as possible, he felt that it was imperative to his own success. Only you knew this really stemmed from his less than favourable upbringing, being abused by his father, bullied by his peers and having to work hard for his achievements. He could be having the worst day, but he would never make it known to his team, all except you of course, being his personal assistant. As you spent a large amount of time together, Maxwell confided in and involved you in many personal areas of his life. 6 months after you started working for Max, he invited you and your then boyfriend to his wedding, stealing a waltz from you at the Reception. A year later, when his son, Alistair was born, he would show you picture after picture of baby photos, gushing about how proud he was to be a father. 3 years later when the company had its first day on the US stock exchange, you and Max stayed up all night at the office running through press releases, interviews and planning the next 6 months of his now very hectic schedule. When Alistair would come to the office to visit, you would babysit and play with him, change him, feed him, read him stories and sing him to sleep.

As he started to grow up, you soon rivaled Max in Alistair’s favourite person to spend time with at the office. Two years ago when you ended up in a very bad car accident and broke your arm, Max showed up personally to the hospital looking frantically worried about you. He even brought along Alistair who was helping carry a giant bouquet of flowers, a teddy bear and balloons. He stayed overnight after your surgery, sleeping in the most awkward positions on the single armchair next to your hospital bed. While you were in surgery, he made sure your work health insurance covered every cent and even provided company paid physiotherapy so you could get better properly. You knew you were in love with him since that dance at his wedding, but you had too much respect and adoration for him to be a homewrecker. Plus, you just assumed as he was so involved with all of his staff, that it didn’t mean he would be into you romantically.

As you were required to attend many of the shareholder and CCO/CEO/CFO meetings to take minutes, you became intrigued with the world of business and economics. So you enrolled in a Bachelor’s degree part time through a local University. At the time, women in business was largely unheard of, and to avoid sexist comments and discrimination, you told no one. When the Global Financial Crisis hit, it slammed into Maxwell’s dreams like a meteoroid. Overtime was required at the office and you spent most of your time in Max’s office doing paperwork for staff that had been laid off due to the budget cuts. Each day he would be on the phone, yelling at other business men on the other side of the world. You watched his positive energetic demeanor slowly chip away, as his drinks cart full of spirits and liqueurs dwindled alongside. Not long after, Black and Gold’s Chief Financial Officer and advisors within the company were arrested for Insider Trading and other shady business dealings.

Throughout all of this, you had given Max as much support, personally and professionally as you could, while still being respectful and platonic as he was a married man. With most of the staff gone and the company’s finances in disarray from the GFC and mismanagement, the universe dealt Max the final blow, his divorce. His wife, who was clearly only interested in him for his money and how it could provide her a cushy lifestyle, filed for divorce as the company was failing. She tried to take him to the cleaners financially, but Max was smart enough to have a prenuptial agreement and keep what was left of his dwindling fortune. So she used their son, Alistair, as a pawn in her game. The courts granted Max shared custody, but only one visit per fortnight. This devastated him as his son was his whole world.

He didn’t want to become destitute by giving up his fortune to his wife, but he didn’t want to lose his son, either. It started to tear him apart, leading to drunken nights in his office, alone. Except, he wasn’t totally alone. Every night, after everyone had gone home, you would stay back late each night to check on him and make sure he hadn’t done anything stupid. You would sit in one of the barren office cubicles with a vantage point to his office, but invisible to see from his desk. With tears sitting at the edges of your eyes, you silently watch him drink enough alcohol to chill out a bull, take some pills, flip through photo books of Alistair and start to sob. This went on for months. Overdue bills and foreclosure notices started to pile up on his desk. Egregiously inflated child support payment requests from his ex-wife littered the coffee table in his office.

Today was an exceptionally hard day, Max had received a resignation letter from his second last employee, leaving just you and him in the office. He slept on the futon in his office the night before, waking up looking disheveled, his tie pulled loose, shirt half tucked, suit jacket on the floor and his shoes god knows where. He looked awful.

Night falls, shrouding the office in darkness. Apart from a few desk lights, the floor is cold & dark. As you start packing boxes with office paperwork and belongings, you glance over to see the outline of Max at his desk, with his back turned, silently smoking a cigarette and drinking a glass of whiskey on ice. He reaches back for a brief moment, to press the answering machine, illuminated by his desk lamp. *beep* Message received, Wednesday, 4:33 pm “Hello Maxwell this is Brittany from AMP investments, your lease agreement with us has been defaulted for 6 months now with $150,000 in rent arrears. If it is not paid by the 30th of this month, building management will deactivate access to the floor and repossess any remaining belongings on the property. *beep* End Message. Message received Thursday, 5:43 pm “Max it’s Barb, I’m cancelling Alistair’s visit this weekend, seeing as you don’t want to pay me any extra child support.” *beep* End Message. Message received today, 7:02 pm “Hey Daddy, it’s Alistair, Mommy said I can’t come over because you’re working too much to see me. I wish you weren’t working all the time so we could play together and go to the movies and-“ you hear Barb, Max’s ex wife cut him off with “Alistair? What are you doing on the phone?! Who are you talking to?” Alistair whines, “I wanted to talk to Daddy” suddenly the sound of the receiver slams into the phone. *beep* End Message. You have no new messages.

The office is dead silent, but you can audibly hear the sound of Max’s heart shattering into a thousand pieces. He begins to cry, slowly shrinking in his chair, slumping down with his forearms on his knees and his head bowed. The cries slowly become more intense, with Max gasping for air between the long loud shrieks as his whole body shakes. “Alistair! My Alistair! My boy! I’ve failed you! Your Daddy failed you!” He wails, tears freely flooding down his face and snot dripping out of his nose, both like endless waterfalls. He drops to his knees and collapses onto the carpet, like he’s been shot right through the chest. He continues to sob & wail, forgetting that he isn’t alone in the office. You walk to the doorway of his office, frozen with indecision. Your heart was pounding and eyes on the verge of tears from what you just heard. On one hand you feel like you’re intruding on something extremely personal and maybe somewhat embarrassing for Maxwell, but you’ve never seen him like this and he looked like he was physically dying.

“Mr Lord, is everything okay?” Your soft voice quietly called out from the doorway of his office. Your medicated voice jolts Max out of his catatonic state and into a sitting upright position, as he quickly wipes his face and fixes his hair. “Oh, Ug-I’m so sorry for you to see me like this, it’s quite unbecoming of me” Maxwell apologises, trying to play it off with a light hearted chuckle between quiet heaved sobs. You catch a frozen stare, peering straight into his soul past the bloodshot, weepy but warm, brown irises.

Your heart is thumping hard, as if to try and break out of your ribcage and fly over to him. Max had been there for all of his staff, especially you. You couldn’t walk away after everyone else in his life had abandoned or given up on him. “You don’t need to apologise, Mr Lord.” You slowly reply, stepping over the booze bottles littering his office floor as you walk over to him. He’s frantically adjusting his outfit and hair, to look as put together as possible before you sit down beside him on the floor. You both sit there in silence, with the odd sniffle coming from Max’s nose. You finally pucker up the courage and say “I didn’t want to intrude but I heard the voice messages, I’m so sorry all of this has happened to you, Max”.

He had never heard you say his name before, it was always “Mr Lord”. It felt like honey soothing his dry strained throat as it rolled off your tongue. You continued, “You’ve always been there for me”, you paused to redirect attention, “for all of us. What can I do to help?”. You reach out and place your hand on his. Your warm, soft touch sends a shock wave of emotion through his body. No one has cared about him like this before, let alone touched him in such a gentle way. Max stares at your now teary eyes, realising he can be vulnerable and trust his longest and closest friend.

He collapses by your side, crying into your shoulder “I’m a failure” he sobs “My business, my marriage and most importantly I’ve failed my son. I just hope one day that he can forgive me and love me and be proud of me. He is my whole life, I just want him back”. You start to choke up but you have to remain composed. You look up and away, silently biting your knuckle and blinking tears back into your eyes before responding. “Max, you are not a failure, you are an exceptional human being. You built this company from nothing and you changed peoples lives. And don’t even get me started with Alistair, you’re the best father a kid could ask for, it’s not your fault your ex wife is being abusive”. He continues to sob, so you wrap your arm around his side and let him cry for a few minutes. The smell of his chemically lightened & straightened dark blonde hair filled your nostrils as his forehead pressed against your chin.

His large fingers and palms grip your free hand. They’re surprisingly soft & very warm. You freeze as his touch sends zaps of electricity up your arm and down your body. As Maxwell leans against you, your perfume overloads his senses, bringing him back to a conscious state. What was he doing? He thought to himself. I’m a failure, and everything I get close to fails or leaves. He looks down at your hands. I can’t hurt such an amazing person. I have to rip off the metaphorical bandaid and be cruel to be kind. “Thank you” he sighs, catching his breath after minutes of sobbing “You can go home now. In fact, I want you to take a redundancy payout so you can find another job. There’s nothing left for you here. I’m a failure and I don’t want you drowning with the ship” he says, in a clinically professional voice. Max hands you a company envelope with your name on it. He sits up to take a sip on the remaining whiskey left in his glass.

Your ears begin to burn and your cheeks redden with anger. Tears prick at the edges of your eyes, begging for them to flow. “Alfred will take you home in the company car, or wherever you want to go”. He continues, now smoking a cigarette.

“But what If I don’t want to go?” You whisper, trying to hide the sobs that are trying to break through your voice. “Please, I just want you to be happy” Max replies. You take great offence at his ignorant statements, as if he knows what makes you truly happy. “How do you know what makes me happy, Max?” You huff, standing up abruptly and folding your arms. “Well, I don’t know, but I can’t exactly see how you would be happy staying here while my company fails” he answers, shrugging. You feel your heart begin to break, realising that even being single and having such a close professional relationship with you, Max seemed to hold no deeper feelings for you and was almost starting to turn on you. You stand there wanting to run for the door but trying to think logically. Men are dim, maybe he doesn’t realise your true feelings? Maybe he’s preoccupied with his own and too overwhelmed to face them?

Max’s embarrassment from being caught in such a vulnerable state compounded with offending you takes its toll and he starts to get frustrated and impatient. “I think I just want to be alone now”. He sighs, looking away. The words cut deep, slicing you apart like ribbons. You begin to feel yourself fall apart, your emotions and thoughts spilling out with force. “I can’t leave” you sob, hanging your head in shame. Hearing you start to cry, he starts to hate himself more as he's clearly made you upset. With emotions bubbling over, he stands up, looking at you with tears in his eyes. “Why? Why can’t you leave!?” He shouts, a pained look of frustration and confusion on his face as he puts his hands on your arms, gently shaking you to get you to speak.

The last of the ribbons tying up your words from coming out fall down around you. You look deep into his crazed brown eyes, longing for an answer. “Because I love you!” You blurt out, sobbing. The tension in the room is now thick enough to cut with a knife. “I’ve loved you since the night we danced at your wedding. I fell in love with one of the most empathic, intelligent, hard working and compassionate men I know. You changed my life and every day I wish I could’ve shown you the love & kindness you deserve. That you need”. You step back from his grip, straightening your pantsuit as you compose yourself. “But I guess if I’m not needed anymore, I’ll leave you alone, Mr Lord”. The duality of your emotive declaration of love against the rigid clinical final words lurched his heart forward like a freight train and then slammed against his rib cage with the force of 100Gs.

You start to stride towards the door, but Maxwell follows behind you quickly, grabbing your hand, where you turn around on your heels. He grabs both of your hands and brings them up between you, squeezing them gently. “Pl-please don’t, don’t leave me” he begs, “you-you’re all I have left”. His dark brown eyes shimmer with tears as he shoots you a pleading gaze. He drops to his knees, wrapping his arms around your legs and squeezing tight like he's hanging on for dear life. You stand frozen on the spot, feeling Max’s warm breath on your legs as he heaves a few more cries. As you start to run your hands through his dark blonde locks, the sensation calms your mind and you reach your hands down to cup Max’s face, tilting it up to look at you. “I won't, Max” you say with a concerned gaze. “As long as you don’t push me away”. Max nods silently as he reaches into his jacket pocket to pull out his pocket square. He stands up and starts to gently wipe your tears away. “I’m so sorry” he apologises “I lashed out because I felt like a failure and I didnt want to let you down anymore and disappoint you.” he continues while making sure he’s wiped all of the tears from your cheeks and cleaned up some of your smudged makeup. “You’re not a failure, Max” you reply, “You’re an incredible man and you should be proud of everything you have achieved”.

Max gives you a small smile, blushing slightly as he gently embraces you with his big arms, pulling you close against his chest. His strong cologne masked the slight tinge of body odour from not showering mixed into a masculine and attractive scent. You quietly inhale as much as your lungs will allow, savouring every smell. As he starts to brush through your curls with his large fingers, he plants a small kiss on your head, making you feel like you could melt out of his arms and into a puddle on the floor. “I’m sorry, too.” you whisper. “Sorry for what?” he quizzes, looking down at you, puzzled. “For telling you that I love you. It’s true, but I feel like it was not the most appropriate time to tell you with everything that’s going on with Alistar, the company, your-” Max interrupts your sentence “Come with me”. Max strides you across his office floor with his arm around your waist. You both walk over to an unassuming door, which you always thought led to a supply closet. Upon its opening, you step into the room to reveal a whole bedroom, complete with a dining table, sofa, TV and ensuite. You had been Max’s personal assistant for 7 years and had no idea such a room even existed. “Wow” you manage to blurt out in complete shock. “I had this room made so that when I was working long hours my ex-wife and Alistair could stay here” Max explained, adjusting bits and bobs around the room “Although my ex-wife never stayed. She always accused me of sleeping with other women in this bed when in fact I was actually working. I kind of live here now, having sold my estate to pay to keep the company running”

He gestures to you to sit on the timber art deco dining chair, as he picks up the phone on the coffee table. “Alfred. Can you please take a drive and bring back any decent takeout food you find. Make sure to get some for yourself, too”. Max hangs up the phone before turning on the radio and then grabs two wine glasses from the small bar by the lounge and a bottle of red wine. He places both glasses on the table and fills both half way. You pick up your glass and walk over to the floor to ceiling window, overlooking downtown LA. As Max is fussing over tidying and making the room perfect, he glances over to see you standing alone, looking out the window. Lost in your own little world, you feel Max’s large soft hand intertwine with your free hand. “I started black and gold in a shoebox office inside a strip mall, over there, in South LA” he points just in front of the hills. He pauses. “I expect that after I get evicted I won’t even be able to lease that same office”. You give his hand a small squeeze. “Maybe I could help you”. Max looks at you dubiously. “How do you mean?” He inquired.

Just as you were planning to answer, Alfred arrives with some food. Max walks over to your dining chair and pulls it out, gesturing for you to sit. You take your seat and he flaps a linen napkin into your lap, before sitting down adjacent to you. Alfred had bought some delicious Mexican food, the intoxicating smell of meats, cheeses and spices filling the room. “Thank you, Alfred. I’ll call you again if we need anything” Max smiles, patting Alfred on the back as he leaves. You both sit at the table for hours, eating, drinking and talking about the company. Max finally learns the secret that you’ve been hiding about studying at University. “I haven’t officially graduated yet, but learning what I have, I could probably help Black and Gold get out of its current predicament. I also might know some investors that I befriended in the same units as me from the University”. Max shoots you a soft smile. “You really are the best assistant and friend anyone could ask for” he beams, placing his hand on yours. Embarrassed by his compliment and burning with desire to want to kiss him, you stand up and head over to the couch to distract yourself from your intense feelings. Max realises the use of the word friend was probably a poor choice. He must be honest with you and tell you how he feels. Max joins you on the couch where your arms are crossed and you’re staring ahead. You’re trying to avoid eye contact else you’ll burst into flames.

********SMUT ALERT********

“I hope you don’t think I’m rude or ignoring the impassioned declaration you made earlier” Max smiles “I just wanted to give you a semi-decent first date”. You feel your cheeks begin to blush and you unfold your arms. “The truth is” Max continues, resting his hand on yours. “I feel the same way about you. Even before my ex-wife divorced me, I started to fall in love with you. The way you are with Alistair, how committed you are to helping me. I just didn’t think you’d wanna be with an older man like me and even more so when everything started to go downhill”.

You place your hand on top of Max’s, both now staring at each other softly yet intensely. “Max” you turn to face him, edging closer. Max nervously places his hands on your cheeks. “I’ve waited for 7 years, please kiss me”.

Max finally kisses your lips, setting your whole body alight. Dizzy from the sensation, you lay back on the couch as Max follows down on top of you. He begins peppering slow, thoughtfully placed kisses down your jaw and neck. You let out a whimper as your hands twirl through his hair. Every movement he makes is slow, as if he is trying to slow down time and make this moment last forever. Max comes back up and passionately kisses your mouth, your tongue begging his for entrance. As your tongues intertwine, he holds your head and neck with one hand, while stroking your hair with the other. Max holds you gently yet strongly in his arms, like he’s holding onto a fragile Fabergé egg. With the position you’re in on the couch and the impracticality of your work attire in non-work sitting positions, he senses that you’re uncomfortable.

“May I?” He asks, holding the zipper to your dress as he places his arms behind your back. You nod and he slowly unzips it, gently slipping it off you and carefully folding it over the armrest of the lounge. Overcome with passion and desire from Max’s romantic gestures, you blurt out “I want you to take me, Max”. Without a word, he scoops you up in his arms and walks you over to the bed, placing you down gently in the middle. Max sits at the foot of the bed, marvelling at your stunning body. You’re wearing stockings and a purple lingerie set, coincidentally Max’s favourite colour.

Max leans down and kisses the top of your foot, peppering kisses up your legs before reaching the clips of your garter belt. He unclasps them before rolling down the stockings, kissing back down your legs. Burning with desire, you unclasp your bra and garter belt, throwing them to the side of the bed. Max looks up from kissing your legs to see your breasts exposed in the moonlight, your nipples hard from his gaze.

“Y-you look absolutely beautiful” he chokes before climbing up on top of you to reach your face. You blush, feeling Max’s extremely hard cock straining in his suit trousers against your thigh. “Kiss me, Max” you moan, brushing your lips against his and moving your hand down towards his crotch. Max slowly and passionately begins to kiss you, your tongues swirling in each other’s mouths, the taste of wine and chilli making for a sensual combination. As your hand reaches Max’s crotch, you begin to grope and rub his sizeable length, causing him to let out a loud moan. You shoot him a cheeky sexual gaze, but he grabs your hand and brings it up for you to cup the side of his face. “Not just yet my little dove” he whispers. You pout but decide to put your hands to better use and unbutton his shirt, revealing his strong chiseled chest. Max starts to breathe deeper from arousal as you unbuckle his belt and throw it to the floor. “I want to take my time with you” Max whispers “You’ve waited so long and I want this moment to be everything you deserve. I want to worship and pleasure you completely”.

Your pussy is now completely soaked, the faint squelches from your juices against your panties sounds in the background of Max kissing your neck. Maxwell is more preoccupied with taking his time in a combination of making up for lost time with you, giving you the best first time with him and making this moment last as long as possible. “Guide me” Max sighs between kisses, giving you his free hand. Holding it with both hands, you guide him down your neck and to your breasts. Max traces your breasts, flicking your nipples as he watches you whine with pleasure. Slowly he leans down and begins to suck on them, gently swirling his tongue and flicking. He kisses from one breast to the other, squeezing them in his hand. “Your body is perfect. Your skin is so soft.” he moans. By this time you’re rubbing your thighs together in an effort to stimulate your clit without your hands as they’re gripping Max’s dark blonde hair.

“Max, take off your pants” you pant, becoming overstimulated from all this teasing foreplay. He stands up off the bed and unzips his trousers, pulling them down to reveal his rock hard cock. “Oh Max” you moan, reaching down under your panties to touch yourself as his cock twitches. Max hurriedly crawls onto the bed and back up to your face, pulling your hand out of your panties. He brings your fingers close to his mouth and rubs them on his lips before bringing his tongue out to swirl around them, sucking your juices off them. “Touch me Max” you immediately whimper “I need your touch”. Max moans before kissing you passionately. As you both enjoy your tender kiss, Max traces his hand down your body, over your breasts, along your stomach and reaches the edge of your panties. Max reaches into your panties and gently places a finger at the top of your pussy, gently but firmly pressing down as he traces over your clit and down to your opening. Your wetness has coated every inch of your pussy. “You’re so wet” he pants, the sensation starts to send some beads of precum out the tip of his cock. “For you” you moan, writhing in pleasure at his calculated & lingering touch.

Looking deep into your eyes, Max rubs your folds slowly before he inserts two fingers gently but deep inside you. He begins to switch between a circling and a come hither motion on your g-spot, sending sparks shooting up through your body. You arch your back and let out a moan, while Max kisses your neck. “Oh Max baby that feels so good” you moan, gripping the sheets. “You feel amazing” Max sighs, brushing your hair out of your face so he can study your facial expressions as he pleasures you. Just when you thought it couldn’t feel any more amazing, Max places his thumb onto your clitoris, bringing you closer to climax in a matter of milliseconds. “Oh my god Max, Max I’m gonna cum” you moan into his neck, biting him. Max continues fingering you, intently watching your face waiting for you to reach orgasm.

Between Max’s fingering, his kisses and eye contact it doesn’t take long for it all to send you over the edge, riding into a full body orgasm, squirting all over Max’s hand. “You’re so beautiful baby” Max coos, holding your body close with his fingers still inside you as your back arches and your body trembles while you let out a long loud moan. Despite this exquisite display and sensation happening between your legs, Max keeps eye contact with you, peering deep into your soul, completely enamoured. As you start to come down from your orgasm, Max slowly removes his fingers and sucks them clean. “You taste incredible, so sweet baby” he moans, licking the squirt off his hand. As you begin to catch your breath, Max kisses down your body and reaches your pussy, where he begins to lap up the rest of your juices. Very gently, Max parts the puffy pussy lips covering your clit. He starts to lick in between the folds, avoiding your clit as it recovers from the intense orgasm. He travels down to your entrance where he sticks his tongue inside, tasting your juices inside you.

The hum from his moan as he eats you out relaxes you like a lullaby. Max then comes back up to your face, kissing your forehead. “That was incredible Max” you pant, staring up at the ceiling. He rests his lips against your neck, cupping your breast and gently squeezing it and thumbing your nipple. “Let me pleasure you Max, please” you beg, giving him a pleading gaze. Max obliges as you change positions with him now lying on his back. You cup his face with one hand, giving him a loving smile as his hand grabs yours. He starts to kiss you as your hands both guide down his chest, stomach and reach his groin. You begin to tease him, tracing your fingertips around the base of his cock, then up the shaft. Your light touches cause his cock to twitch. “Your touch is magical'' Max groans as your hand grips his shaft and travels up to his tip. His precum has soaked the head, giving you enough lubricant to slowly jerk your hand up and down, gripping tightly.

The sensation for Max is heavenly, panting and moaning between kissing your cheeks and forehead as you concentrate your gaze on his pulsing cock. Your jerking movements become more intense as you look up to see Max with his eyes closed, like he’s dreaming and if he opens them you’ll cease to exist. You continue to jerk him as you kiss his neck, feeling his cock harden even more and begin to pulse rapidly, like he’s getting close. “W-wait” Max whimpers. “I want this night to be about pleasuring you. Your mere presence pleasures me enough.” He kisses your hand & cups your cheek, looking deeply into your eyes. “What can I do to please you? Would you like t-to make love?”. Your heart bursts with emotion as this man is so set on pleasuring you so much. “Yes Max, I would love that very much” you sigh.

You lay back down on the bed, Max lying by your side. He begins to embrace you, running his hands over your body before kissing down your neck and chest as he rubs your clit. Max stops for a moment, studying your beautiful naked body. He then moves down and pushes your legs up, exposing your pussy. As you squeeze your breasts and look at his chiseled jaw, Max nervously lines up his cock before rubbing it on your clit, soaking the tip in your wetness. Impatient with how he’s teasing you, you whisper “Fuck me Maxwell”. Slowly, he pushes his cock down your clitoris and through your folds before the tip pushes inside. Without even being all the way inside, he moans “this must be what Heaven feels like”. With one gentle thrust, he’s completely inside, shuddering as your warm, tight, wet walls squeeze his cock shaft and tip. “Oh my god Max. You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment” you moan, as he starts to slowly thrust. “M-me too beautiful” he grunts, feeling pure ecstasy wash over him as your pussy tenses, massaging his twitching length. A few minutes go by of you both silently staring intensely into each other’s eyes, kissing passionately. With every thrust you begin to connect deeper to Max, your bodies intertwining on a physical, emotion and spiritual level. Max’s cock twitches inside you as he watches you moan and bite your lip, squeezing your breasts.

“I can’t believe you love a man, a man like me” Max says still in disbelief, watching your body motion up and down as he slowly strokes in and out of you. He studies your body intensely, watching the moonlight and shadows play across your curves as your breasts bounce with every thrust. “You’re so beautiful Hermosa”, his mother tongue now coming through “como una diosa, like, A-Aphrodité.” he sighs, cupping your face with both hands. You cover his hands with yours, interlocking your fingers, turning your face each way slightly to kiss his palms and stare back at him lovingly and seductively, feeling like you could float away. “Your Aphrodite” you sigh, arching back slightly in pleasure, gripping his hands to guide them down to your breasts for him to lovingly caress and fondle. In slight shock at your romantic response, he immediately leans down whilst thrusting and peppers kisses all over your lips, letting out a sniffle.

With his eyes closed, focusing on lasting to bring you pleasure and to hide his emotions, a few tears drop onto your cheeks as he continues to thrust, now grunting each time into your neck to cover up the small sobs. You kiss his cheek, to take his tears away, the saltiness turning into sweet nectar on your tongue. “It’s okay baby, you can be vulnerable with me, I will protect you. I love you”. You choke, now crying also. Both sharing a connection transcending physically, in that exact moment, without an increase in volume, the lyrics of the Bob Dylan song playing on the radio seem to stand out and ring true in this very moment;

Storm clouds are raging all around my door, I think to myself I might not take it any more. Take a woman like your kind, To find the man in me. But, oh, what a wonderful feeling, Just to know that you are near. Sets my a heart a-reeling, From my toes up to my ears...

Your foreheads now together, staring deeply into each other’s eyes, Max whimpers “I love you so much” as his whole body begins to tense, signalling he’s on the precipice of an orgasm. Feeling his cock become even harder as it thrusts into the deepest part of your pussy, slamming the extra nerves to unlock your powerful orgasm. “Oh my god Max I’m gonna cum” you moan, slamming your eyes shut as you begin to try and slow down so this moment can last forever. “Cum mi reina” Max pants, keeping the tempo of his thrusting steady as the waves of your orgasm reach its peak before crashing down & flooding your entire body. Your body arches and trembles as you scream “Oh Max!” while your pussy clamping down & releasing in pulses on Max’s cock. The sight of you orgasming tied with the sensation around his cock sends Max over the edge. “Cielo” Max groans, shuddering all over as his cock spurts thick ropes of cum against your sensitive cervix. You both share a passionate kiss as Max’s cock softens inside you. “That was amazing Max” you pant, your body weak from the two mind blowing orgasms Max gave you.

Max collapses on the bed beside you, kissing your neck and running his fingers through your hair. “I can’t wait for us to do that again” Max chuckles against your neck. You kiss Max’s forehead, sighing as your body still slightly shakes from the two powerful orgasms Max just gave you. “I think a shower is in order” He embraces you momentarily before scooping you up in his arms and carries you off the bed, walking towards the ensuite. “Are you ever gonna let me walk again?” You giggle, nestling into his neck. “I like feeling you be as close to me as possible” Max laughs, before your feet land back on the tiles inside the bathroom. Max turns on the water and you both step into the shower, the steam now filling the room. Max has an assortment of body washes and shampoos, ranging from musky to citrusy and floral scents. You step closer to Max as he takes some lavender body wash and begins to rub it down your back, his hands dancing over the rest of your body as he starts to wash you. “I know I keep saying this, but you are so beautiful” Max sighs, running his hands over your ass, grabbing a cheek in each hand. “You’re not too bad yourself, handsome” you giggle against Max’s neck.

You both spend at least an hour in the shower, washing each other, chatting and sharing a few more intimate moments. Soon, the wine from dinner, the warm shower water, the scent of lavender and your fatigue from your orgasms starts to take its toll and you feel your eyelids drooping. Max finishes washing you and grabs a towel to help you dry off with. As your eyelids close completely Max has already scooped you up and walked back to the bed, placing you in the middle before wrapping you up in blankets and placing a small kiss on your forehead. “Goodnight my love” he whispers. “Mmmm” you moan, already in a dream state. Max soon gets under the covers with you, embracing you tightly as he watches you sleep, twirling his fingers through your hair. The smell of lavender on your skin soon lulls Maxwell to sleep.

The next morning you wake up, dazed and a little hungover, but well rested. As you look around the room, you survey the many pieces of clothes, miscellaneous items and wine bottles strewn across the floor in a tornado of passion from the night before. As your eyes adjust to the sun, you see Max in an under-shirt and pyjama pants over by the dining table. Max, in his own little world, frantically setting the dining table with some breakfast Alfred had brought up while you were sound asleep. He’s making sure everything is laid out perfectly, straightening the cutlery and pouring Orange Juice and Champagne into a glass from the bar. He hears the cotton sheets move behind him, immediately turning around to see if you’re awake. “Good morning beautiful” Max hums, rushing over to the bed to pepper your cheeks and lips with hundreds of little kisses. “Morning handsome” you giggle, running your hands through Max’s hair, in an attempt to match your bed hair. “Are you hungry, mi amor?” he asks between kisses. “I’m famished” you reply, stretching to help you wake up more. As you writhe around in the sheets you notice you’re wearing a chiffon baby doll.

“I hope you don’t mind I uh, had it in the wardrobe & wasn’t sure if you liked to sleep naked so I put it on you just after you fell asleep.” Max laughs, scratching the back of his head. You blush, feeling embarrassed that you got that drunk, but Max’s reassuring smile makes you feel at ease. “I do usually sleep naked, but I like it, it makes me feel beautiful”. Max sighs “so beautiful”, wrapping you up in a tight embrace and planting a single kiss on your forehead. Max scoops you up and carries you out of bed before you lightly plant your feet onto the carpeted floor. As you glance over to the dining table, Max comes up behind you and helps you slip on a long beautiful chiffon robe, accented with feathers on the hem.

“Another little something for my beautiful mariposa” Max coos, kissing your cheek before pulling out your chair at the dining table. You feel like you’re walking on clouds as you step over to your chair and sit down, Max flapping a napkin onto your lap. “Oh my goodness Max you’re such a gentleman” you blush. “My mother taught me to show women the highest level of respect and care. She made me the man who I am today.” Max replies, looking out the window momentarily. You outstretch your arm across the table to squeeze Max’s hand “And she would be so proud of the man that you’ve become” you beam with a sweet smile. Max soon draws your attention to the diverse spread of pastries on the table, pointing out the different fillings of each and asks if you would like coffee. You nod before noticing a large bouquet of red roses in the middle of the table. As Max places a few pastries on your plate, you feel a sense of intense attraction wash over you like a wave.

Your internal monologue starts to read back to itself, reflecting on how loving, generous and respectful Max is towards you. How much he takes care of you and oh god, how handsome he looks…you start to feel aroused by this somewhat submissive gentleman, sensing a rising heat from your core. Max submitted to your every want and desire last night, raising you up and worshipping you like a goddess, now you wanted to submit to him. Knowing now that you can be vulnerable and honest around Max, you lean back in your chair, biting down on a blueberry pastry.

To be continued..... ;) muahahahaha

a special thanks to the users below for the inspiration and encouragment!

@pintsizemama @anaaaispunk @maxlordsgf @rav3n-pascal22, @pedrostories, @absurdthirst @pedrosbrat

#maxwelllord #maxlord #max lord x reader #max lord x you #max lord smut #maxwelllord smut #max lord x f!reader #maxwell lord x f!reader

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dippydots · 2 years

Text

Hensa Divorce Story ™️ (Mental) Breakdown

TW for rape mention, sexual assault mention, physical abuse mention, and implications of emotional abuse.

This is most likely the angriest you will ever see me and I hope that none of you ever get weird/awful fanfiction written about any of your characters like how mine were.

Sigh.

Let's start at the beginning. I got my ex-best friend, who we'll call Shannon, into the Jekyll and Hyde musical by recommending that she should listen to the Anthony Warlow concept album. My main reason was so she could understand some of my characters more, since this was when I had started getting into Gothic Gang lore more rather than just random doodles. She told me that she loved it, and that the ending was tragic and that Henry and Lisa deserved to be happy. So that made me all giddy, and I told her that in my story they do, so she became intrigued. She then said she wanted to write a story for me. That was the "Hyde is Back" one, aka Ed being a bad guy even though she knew that my version of the character is not, he's supposed to be just some guy. I kinda shrugged it off, mentioned that that's not how his character is in GG, but she got a bit mad with me, and started criticizing his character. Obviously, there's nothing wrong with criticism, I like getting it so I know what to fix, but something felt off about her criticisms. Shannon said that he's supposed to be evil and diabolical, (I almost laughed) and not some excitable florist who cares about Jekyll. I decided to ignore it, not wanting her to yell at me more about it. Instead, I encouraged her writing, vainly hoping that it would improve. I would request fluff, and she would say "ok" and then she'd write something with poor characterization, despite me basically infodumping about them and mentioning specific characteristics.

Around eleven non-fluffy fanfics later, Shannon sends me a new fanfic she wrote, one I wasn't aware of that she was writing, and not one that I had requested either. It was called "Someday Maybe" which unlike the others, had a title. This story is more commonly known as Hensa Divorce Story™️. I remember reading it the very first time, being confused at why Henry wasn't living in the same home as Lisa, or why he was calling his sons by 'Number 1' and 'Number 2' (as if he didn't name them himself), why he mentions hitting Edward as a kid with a belt, and why Lisa was telling Henry that she still loved him after all these years. Then it dawned on me: divorce. I was concerned and confused, especially considering that Henry and Lisa's romance involves them not wanting to leave each other after being separated for twenty years. All that build up and for nothing??? So I asked Shannon about it. "Why is this happening?" I asked, "What did Henry do, or Lisa, what happened between them?!" She wouldn't tell me. I didn't know if she was going to make a part two to this, so I tried making a logical conclusion (the best logical conclusion a high schooler can make anyway) and followed logic from the musical since that was the only media for J&H that she had partaken in. I thought to myself, "Henry in this horrid AU could be a workaholic, cause of the song in the musical! That would be interesting!" I wished that I was right, instead of the messy, messy story I got.

I shared my idea with Shannon, who said that that wasn't the case, and that she was writing this as a full story. Even though it wasn't a story that I wanted, I decided to deal with it because she never really did or wrote stuff for me, so I thought it'd be better just to accept what was given to me. Then she dropped the bombshell that Henry had cheated on Lisa. I remember being shocked, because that betrays a part of his character: guy who absolutely adores and loves his wife and would do anything for her. I asked her why, and she didn't give me a response. Just the next part of the story. This part is when Henry decides to tell Lisa that he had cheated on her. He describes the woman in a rather uncomfortable way that is not ace friendly, which betrays his character again: To Henry, looks do not come first. He loves Lisa for her personality, but he also thinks she's beautiful. But this version of Henry seems to be more concerned about this other woman's waist size. GG Lisa isn't skinny, she's chubby. Wouldn't that hurt her feelings or make her self-conscious about her body if her husband was describing a different girl in that manner? I know for a fact she would. But Shannon didn't seem to care about how this collides with GG canon. The only brightside of this part was that Lisa slaps Henry after he tries to brush off what he just revealed to her. Shannon then reveals to me that Lisa had cheated on Henry before, which he was aware of. I asked why they got a divorce over Henry's infidelity, wouldn't that be kinda hypocritical? She said that Henry had a love child and that's why the divorce was happening. I wanted the story to be over.

The next part was the Edith slander.

This is the part where Henry yells at Edith and the blatant self-insertship is here. Edith storms in with DNA documents, and asks why Henry why he's lying to Lisa. Here's the tid-bit.

Very melodramatic -_-. At this point, I was beginning to get tired and frustrated since she wasn't creating a coherent story, and because the characters weren't acting like themselves. I attempted talking to Shannon about it, but she ignored me, or just said to be quiet and patient. Then one day, she finally told me some answers, and I further regretted letting this story continue. (Major heads up warning for murder, sexual assault and rape mentions)

Shannon told me that Henry was blackmailed by that woman to have sex with her, otherwise she would kill Lisa. So in other words, Henry was raped. Shannon didn't call it that, and acted like it was nothing. This made me pissed, but I know that I don't need to explain why. She then went on to say that there was no love child, Henry lied about that in order to protect Lisa and the kids. It also turned out that Lisa's new boyfriend/husband (it never specified which) was sexually abusing her. And she was saying this all nonchalantly, not warning me about anything she was gonna say, acting as if she was just talking about a random dog she saw. That was the part where I finally spoke up and told her to stop talking about that. She said fine. She then wrote two endings to the story. Once again, there was no build-up to any of these. The first one ended with Henry getting shot and killed, and the other was Henry proposing to Lisa and her saying yes. Then it was over. Nothing seemed to be resolved, things just happened. It made me feel sad, not the story, but the portrayal of my characters in all of the stuff she wrote in general. Henry was a scumbag, Lisa hardly talked and seemed only to be in love with Henry, Edward was antagonistic at times, other times calm, and (unfortunately) other times horny, and then Lucy was often sexualized. The rest of the gang was practically erased. Everything sucked, and everyone was pretty rude to each other. Her fanfics made me afraid that my writing was like that, and that I wasn't doing very good at portraying my characters. But then I realized that she didn't actually care about my characters, and that she was also just not the greatest writer in reality. Like I said at the top, I hope that none of you guys get weird fanfics written about your characters. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#dippy loses it #ask to tag #im sorry for ranting i just need to get my frustrations out.

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danganronpasurvivoraskblog · 2 years

Text

The young boy next door.

So...this is the place, huh? ...It’s not much...

Yeah, but I like the simplicity. It was a nice place to crash when I was away.

What do you even have this apartment for?

We bought it for when Kyoko and I wanted to go away for the weekend. The rent’s actually pretty cheap so long as I come by and clean the place.

Seems like a waste of money to me...

Well, are we not putting it to good use now?

Hmm...

Fair point!

Hehe.

*Makoto leads Hina inside...

So what floor do you live on?

The third. Just follow me.

*A few minutes later, Hina arrives in the apartment when Makoto lets the two of them in.

Hey. I didn’t say it before but...

Thanks Hina.

What for?

For agreeing to come out this far for me. At least I know I won’t get lonely.

...Yeah. It’s fine.

(To be honest...and sorry Makoto...but it wasn’t really you I came out here for. I needed a break just as much as you.)

(But...I’m definitely going to keep you good company...)

...

(Wait a second! I-I just realized...!)

(I haven’t been alone with another boy for a whole weekend besides my brother! Wh-What the hell was I thinking!?)

(No! Nope! Get your head out of the clouds Hina! Not only is he your friend but he’s your bestie’s husband! You’d totally be a jerk and then some if something like that were to happen!)

(Still...this can’t be more than a one bedroom apartment...If this is a place for him and Kyoko, then...)

I think you might’ve realized by now that I only have one bed, huh?

Eh!? H-How’d you know?

You look a little flustered. Don’t worry, I can take the sofa. I just need to make the bed.

Nah, you can take the bed. You’ve had enough rough nights as is, and I’ve slept on the sofa a lot before.

Ok, we’ll bring this up later then. Feel free to get yourself settled. There’s something I need to do quickly.

H-Huh? Mmm...ok?

*Hina takes a seat on the sofa and Makoto gets her a drink. Makoto then leaves the apartment and steps outside the front door.

What’s he up to...?

*Curiosity getting the better of her, Hina also gets up and follows him out. She pokes her head around the door and sees Makoto standing outside the next door neighbors door.

*Bzzzt*

*He buzzes the intercom and after he does, a rather unpleasant looking woman comes to the door.

Unpleasant woman: I don’t have your damn rent mon-Oh...Who are you?

Um...hi. I’m Naegi, the guy who lives next door.

Unpleasant woman: What do you want?

Nothing just...is Kazuki here?

Unpleasant woman: ...

Miss?

Unpleasant woman: No. He isn’t. Now please go away.

Ah!

*The woman shuts the door on him. Makoto buzzes the intercom a few more times, but after realizing that the woman isn’t going to answer any more, and that continuing to ring would only get him in trouble, he stops and goes back to his own apartment, meeting Hina at the door.

Sorry...I didn’t mean to be nosy.

It’s alright. Come on, let’s go inside.

Sure...but, what was that about?

I guess I owe you an explanation. Kyoko and I have a pretty good relationship with our next door neighbor, a guy named Blaise Watanabe. The woman who answered the door is his wife...Well...EX wife I should say. She’s a very pretty woman but she’s also...kinda hard headed.

The last time I saw him was a few weeks ago when I left the Future Foundation and stayed here. He told me that they had been divorced and that he was moving back to his old home town.

Then...who’s Kazuki?

Kazuki is their son. Blaise had to leave him behind, and when he said goodbye, he asked me to check up on him every time I come round here. Today it seems I missed my chance...

Why? Couldn’t he have taken Kazuki with him? Why did he leave him behind with that rude woman?

If he had a choice in the matter, he definitely would’ve fought for custody. The problem is with modern law is that in divorce cases, father’s don’t get parental rights unless in very extreme cases.

That’s not fair though!

It’s not. But also if statistics are to be believed, abusive households are usually spearheaded by the men or father’s of that house, which is why the law is there by default.

I feel really bad for them, especially Kazuki. He loves his dad very much, I could tell from just watching them, but...it had to end up like this because his parents couldn’t get along.

Anyway...don’t worry about it. She won’t cause any trouble for us. I’ll try to see Kazuki at another time.

...

What?

Makoto...I can see now why Kyoko fell for you.

Huh? Wh-Where’d that come from?

By any chance...did Celeste insult your relationship with Kyoko? Did she say something about how she couldn’t understand why you two were together?

How did you know?

So she did huh? Well, that was a lucky guess.

Listen. Don’t listen to a word that she says. It’s all bullcrap and she means none of it.

Well...ok, she might, but she’s wrong. You have a good heart. The BEST. You could never hurt anyone. So please...

Stop trying to hurt yourself.

Hina...

Thank you...I’m sorry you had to see that side of me before...

It’s alright. Water under the bridge as far as I’m concerned.

Howeveer~ Having donuts for desert tonight would DEFINITELY clear everything up!

Ok, you’re the guest.

#danganronpa survivor #danganronpa #danganronpa 1 #dr1 #makoto naegi #aoi asahina #ask #naehina #platonic #fall of the future foundation arc

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albertasunrise · 3 years

Text

Realised Too Late - Part 1

Summary: You’ve been best friends with Frankie since high school and you’ve harboured a secret that whole time that has eaten you alive. You’re in love with him. You know he only sees you as Arce (Maple), the nickname he gave you on your first day. You're just his Canadian friend, never anything more. When his life takes a series of different turns, however, you're there to support him through it but how long can you do that before it just hurts too much?

Warnings: Drug abuse, alcohol, depression, overdose, language, Angst, Smut 18+

Pairings: Frankie Morales x Reader - Ben Miller x Reader

Notes: There are some tough subjects in this one so if you're easily triggered by warnings above, don't read. This will be in three parts.

He was a shell of the man you’d known as kids, the army having stripped him of his soul and leaving him limp and boneless. You hadn’t been surprised when he’d turned to drugs for relief, he was an addict. As kids, he was addicted to exercise, constantly dragging you on hikes or to swimming events that left him buzzing after. During his time in the army, he was addicted to danger, unable to just sit on the sidelines when his brothers were out there risking their lives. When he’d retired he’d struggled. He was evicted from his flat after his last job, the neighbours complaining about the noise, the screaming as he was plagued by nightmares of the things he’d seen and done, they didn’t care he was ex-military. Or that his girlfriend had left him. So you had taken him in, held him at night as he sobbed and did everything you could to help him get better.

At first, you’d not realised that the change in him was because of the coke. He’d been happy, positive, bubbly. He’d returned to the Frankie you once knew. You’d been over the moon at his progress, happy that you’d pushed him to attend counselling and he’d sold it to you so well, made you believe he was going but he wasn’t. No, he was driving to a bar where he had a beer, sniffed some coke in the bathroom and left, returning to you with a new story to sell his lie.

You’d found the bag of powder whilst doing the washing. You’d known instantly what it was and you’d broken down immediately, unable to believe that he’d do that stuff after what he knew. What it had done to your family. He’d found you sobbing on the floor, clutching your stomach and he’d dropped to your side in an instant, pulling you into his arms.

‘Arce, what’s wrong?’ He’d pleaded and your tears had stopped almost immediately, sorrow replaced with pure burning anger that you’d never felt before.

‘You lied to me.’ You’d growled, pushing away ‘You haven’t been going to counselling have you?’

‘I have.’

‘If you continue to lie to me I swear I will kick the shit out of you.’ You'd spat, getting to your feet with that bag clutched tightly in your hand ‘This is the real reason you’ve been -happier- isn’t it Francisco?’ You continued, holding out your hand and revealing the bag that sat on your palm ‘How could you?’ You’d sobbed ‘After what I’ve been through… How could you resort to this as a fix?’

Frankie had knelt there gobsmacked, unsure of what to do or say to you. He'd not even thought about you when he’d been offered the substance the first time, he’d just focused on the fact he’d been told it would help… and it had.

‘Arce I’m so sorry.’ He’d sobbed ‘I just needed the pain to stop. He’d told me it would stop and it did.’

‘But Frankie. This shit ruins lives.’ You said, your tone changing to one with more sympathy ‘Look what it did to my family.’

Your brother had gotten hooked on the stuff after his relationship had fallen apart. His wife had left him, taking the baby with her and he’d lost it. Turning to drink and drugs to dull the pain. He’d managed to hide it well, no one ever suspecting him. One fateful day however the truth had been revealed most tragically. It had been your birthday and Frankie had organised a surprise party for you at his. Your brother had been tasked to pick up and bring your parents over but he’d taken just a little too much before getting behind the wheel. They had never stood a chance. His car was t-boned by a truck when he’d jumped a red light, everyone dying on impact. When you’d arrived at Frankie’s you’d been over the moon to see his place decorated with balloons and streamers, your friends all stood there waiting for you but his face had ripped that happiness away. He’d walked up to you, everyone else remaining where they were and he placed a hand on each arm, bracing you for what was to come and as the words left his mouth you'd passed out, falling limply into his arms.

He’d supported you through it all. The funeral. Sorting through your parent's stuff. You’d considered selling their house but he’d convinced you not to.

‘Don’t you want your kids to grow up here?’ He’d said ‘You have a story about every inch of this house. Don’t sell those stories to someone else.’

So you’d kept it. Moved in and worked on modernising it without ripping out its soul, keeping the memory of your family alive within its walls.

‘You need to stop this Frankie.’ You’d stated, snatching the powder out of sight ‘I will help you but you have to promise me no more lies.’ You’d continued, noting the relief that had flooded his expression ‘You lie to me Frankie and that’s it. You’re out.’

‘Of course.’ He’d replied, nodding hastily as his tears tracked down his cheeks ‘No more lies… I promise.’

He’d kept his promise. He actually attended counselling, his shrink calling each time to confirm he’d visited. He wasn’t aware that they did it, you’d asked them to keep it between the two of you but you’d needed some sort of confirmation that he really was trying to help himself. The nightmares had returned but after a while, they became less frequent along with the panic attacks at loud sounds. He was doing so much better and you were so proud of him. He’d then started to attend AA meetings, finding them useful. You’d gone along to the first few with him on his request but as his confidence had grown he started attending alone and that’s how he’d met her.

Lucy.

She was nice enough. She’d been hooked on coke too after leaving the army so they’d connected in a way that a lot of the other members never could. Their romance had been fast-paced and it killed you. You were happy he had someone, of course, you were… You were just devastated that it wasn’t you.

‘So Lucy’s having a few friends over on Friday. She wondered if you wanted to join?’ He asked as he sipped at his coffee ‘She’s desperate to get to know you.’

‘You talk about me with her?’ You asked, raising your brows as little in surprise.

‘Of course, I do.’ He replied, giving your a bemused expression ‘You’re my best friend. Why wouldn’t I?’

You shrugged, sipping at your coffee as you looked at anything but him, desperate to hide your heartbreak from him. He didn’t notice, just continued to speak as he supped at his black coffee, oblivious to your pain.

‘So will you come?’ He asked with hopeful eyes.

‘Sure.’ You reply, praying something comes up that means you can’t go.

Nothing does.

‘So you’re the famous Arce?’ She asked, shaking your hand when Frankie brought you over.

‘That I am.’ You replied, smiling sheepishly at her.

‘Frankie’s told me all about you.’ She stated, giving you a warm smile ‘You’ve been quite a friend to him.’ She stated ‘Especially with his coke addiction. Most people who have been through what you have would have run a mile. He’s lucky to have you.’

You give her a small nod but inside you’re screaming. She thanks you for coming and apologises for having to go, food needs to be checked. As soon as she leaves you turn and walk to the door, tears streaming down your cheeks.

‘Hey whoah! Where are you going? What’s the matter?’ Asked Frankie as he grabbed your shoulders and stopped you in your tracks ‘Why are you crying?’

‘Fuck you, Frankie.’ Was your reply before you shrugged out of his grip and left, ignoring him as he called after you.

You ignored his calls and texts as you laid there curled up on your couch, praying that he'd choose to stay with her that night but you didn’t get such luck. He walked through the door a little after 1 in the morning, toeing off his shoes and hanging his coat and cap up before stepping quietly into the house. He heard your silent cries and found you curled up on the couch, an empty bottle of wine laying on the floor in front of you.

‘Lucy was really upset that you left.’ He stated, his tone angry ‘That was really rude.’

‘Get out.’ Was your reply, barely above a whisper.

‘What the fuck is your problem?’ he growled, his patience spent ‘She was nothing but nice to you and then you just fucking leave.’

‘She isn't the reason I left.’ You spat, venom dripping from every word as you sat up and glared at him ‘You’re the reason I left.’

‘Me?’ He questioned, pointing at his chest ‘The fuck did I do?’

‘You had no right to tell her.’ You growled ‘You had no right…’ You trailed off, feeling more tears threatening to spill.

‘Tell her what?’

‘You know what Frankie.’ You yelled, scrapping a hand over your tear-stained face ‘There are a handful of people that know the truth about how they died. I choose who I tell, not you.’

‘Arce-.’

‘I’m going to bed.’ You interrupted, getting up from the couch and heading upstairs, leaving a guilty Frankie in your wake.

He didn’t come home for a few days after that evening. You assumed he was trying to give you some space but you didn’t care, you were just too hurt. When he did come back you saw something different in him, something had changed and not for the better. He was withdrawn, quiet. Spending more time in his room or under the hood of his truck than anywhere else and you found yourself worrying about him despite the anger you still felt towards him.

‘Frank, what’s going on with you?’

‘Surprised you care.’ He snarled, pushing his food around his plate with his fork.

‘Fuck you, Francisco. Of course, I care.’ You spat, slapping the table with your hand and making him jump.

You weren’t expecting him to cry.

‘She’s pregnant.’ He said, taking you by surprise.

‘And you’re not happy? You’ve always wanted kids… what changed?’ You asked, your confusion evident.

‘I do want kids.’ He replied, lip trembling ‘She doesn’t.’ He continued ‘She’s booked herself in for a termination next week.’

‘What?’ Your heart shatters ‘Did she even consult you?’

He simply shook his head and you felt your anger bubbling beneath the surface again.

‘I was over the moon when she told me.’ He affirmed, pushing his place away and leaning back in his chair ‘I practically sobbed with joy but then she told me that she was terminating it. Said she’d never wanted kids and that it was the best thing. No kid deserves two junkie parents.’

‘But you’re clean… Aren’t you?’

‘Yes.’ He replied, slightly exasperated ‘And I would do everything in my power to remain clean for that kid.’ He paused, sniffing as he wiped away his tears ‘I begged her to reconsider but she refused. Said that if I couldn’t support her decision then she didn’t want to be with me.’

‘Frank-.’

‘I thought this was it.’ He stated ‘I thought I’d finally found someone I could be myself with, raise kids with.’ His works sting more than he’ll ever know ‘I didn’t think after… After them that I’d ever get a chance to be a dad. I guess I never will.’

You have to push your pain to one side and comfort him. He and his ex had been expecting, he’d been so excited but after Santi had dragged him on a job in South America that had resulted in the death of his commanding officer and them all leaving empty-handed, he’d returned to learn that she’d lost it and left him. You were sure that had contributed towards his downward spiral into drugs, little did you know, he’d had a problem before that. He’d hidden it so well for so long.

‘Frankie I know you’re destined to be a dad.’ You said softly, taking your hands in his ‘You’ll find the right woman one day.’

‘I haven't left her.’ He said suddenly ‘I love Lucy. I just need some time to grieve the baby.’

‘Frank-.’

‘I love her Arce.’ He stated ‘We can work past this.’

You leave at that.

You cried yourself to sleep when he’d moved in with her. You’d helped him pack, drove boxes over to her in your car but you’d hadn’t stayed when they invited you in, unable to bear being around him a moment longer. After that, you ignored his attempts to contact you. Didn’t answer the door when he came knocking. You just let yourself fall into a dark depression, one you didn't think you’d ever recover from and you didn’t expect Benny to be the one that pulled you out of it.

‘What’s going on sweetheart?’ He asked, holding you as you sob into his chest.

‘I’m just so alone.’ You sobbed ‘I’m the plain friend that everyone relies on but no one loves. God, I’ve not been asked on a date in years. My life is a mess and now Frank’s gone and I’m all on my own.’

‘You’re gorgeous babe.’ He said, placing a soft kiss on the crown of your head ‘Anyone would be lucky to have you on their arm.’

‘You don’t need to be nice to me Benny.’ You chuckle, pulling away from his now tear-stained chest to look at him ‘I know I’m not desirable. I never have been.’

Ben looked at you with a troubled expression, unable to believe that someone so beautiful could be so neglected and feel so unappreciated. He’d had a thing for you since Frankie had first introduced you to them all but he’d never acted on it. You were Frank’s best friend after all. You were off-limits.

‘You’re one of the most beautiful women I know.’ He stated, tucking some of your stray hair behind your ear ‘You deserve the world.’

You stared at each other for a moment, your eyes dropped to his lips and his gaze followed suit. The air shifted as he cupped your cheek with his large hand, thumb stroking the apple of your cheek as your eyes locked with each others' again. Then he leaned in and he kissed you, smiling when you gasped in surprise.

It was soft at first, chaste but as you shifted closer to him, legs straddling his lap, he deepened it and you moaned as your tongues dance. It was then a blur of touches, moans and the removal of clothes but the next moment you were truly aware of was him sheathing himself inside of you, kissing you sweetly as you gasped at the stretch.

‘You okay?’ He asked softly, blue eyes searching for anything that told him you didn’t want this but you simply nodded and pulled him into a hungry kiss.

‘Move please.’ You begged ‘Fuck me, Benny…. Please.’

That's all the permission he needed and he started to cant his hips, pushing himself as deep as he could go before withdrawing and slamming back. His pace was slow at first, unhurried, but as your moans grew filthier and filthier he sped up his thrusts, hitting that sweet spot with every movement.

‘Fuck I’m gonna cum.’ You whined, nails digging into the muscles on his back and it spurred him on ‘Fuck…’

‘Let go.’ He growled against the shell of your ear and you did.

You screamed as he made you cum hard, dragging him right along with you and after a few more thrusts to prolong your high’s he collapsed on the couch beside you, kissing you languidly as he stroked your cheek.

‘Let me take you out.’ He said, bumping your nose with his.

‘Okay.’ You replied, grinning at him as you kissed him again and wrapped your hand around his length, pumping him lazily ‘But first, we’re doing that again.’

‘You’re bringing your girlfriend to guys night?’ Questioned Will as he sipped from his beer.

‘I’m crazy about her boys.’ He replied, smiling like a loon as he thought about you.

You’d fucked twice more that night before you’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms, the sex that following morning being the best of all. That evening he took you to dinner and then again the day after that and you quickly fell into a relationship that had you feeling happier than you'd ever been. You’d both decided to keep it a secret at first, just take each day as it came but after being together for 4 months you decided that it was time to reveal to the boys but you were scared of how Frankie would react. The two of you hadn’t spoken much after he’d moved out.

‘Fine but if you’re bringing your squeeze then Fish should bring Lucy. Not fair for the poor girl to sit with three guys all night.’

‘Fish? Think Lu would come?’ Asked Benny, eyes wide and eager.

‘Don’t see why not.’ He replied with a shrug ‘She’s wanted to come out with us for ages so…’

‘Great then that's settled.’ Replied Ben, beaming as he sipped his beer.

He just hoped Lu’s presence would take away from the fact his girlfriend was you.

You sat in the booth, clinging to Ben’s hand for dear life. Your heart was pulsing in your throat, hands shaking as you watched the door for the others to arrive. Will had texted to say he’d be about an hour late but Frankie had confirmed he was running on time. You'd both decided to arrive a little early to get a round in, a little liquid courage you'd supposed. When Frankie walked in, Lucy behind him you felt your stomach twist in knots.

‘Sorry, we’re a little late.’ He said, not looking up as he shoved his keys in his pocket ‘Traffic was crazy…' He trailed off as he looked up, seeing you at Ben’s side ‘What are you doing here? Where's your girlfriend Ben?’

Ben simply put his arm around your shoulders, smiling at Frankie nervously and giving your hand under the table a squeeze.

‘You two?’ He question, motioning between you both with his pointer finger ‘You two are together?’

‘Yes.’ You replied simply, unable to hide the wobble in your voice.

‘Are you fucking serious?’

‘Fish-.’

‘My best friend Ben… Really?’

‘I’m crazy about her man.’ He stated ‘We kept it quiet because we were scared to tell you but we’ve been dating for coming up to five months so we felt it was time you knew.’

‘I managed to get away early. Boss was… wha-‘ Will’s mouth dropped open when he saw his brother’s arm around your shoulders ‘You two?’

‘Yes us two.’ Growled Ben ‘We’ve been dating for almost five months, things are amazing and we thought it was time to make it public.’ He finished, rolling his eyes.

Frankie was glued to the spot, hands shaking as he stared at Ben’s arm around you and h.e felt something he’d not experienced before with you. Jealousy... and he wanted nothing more than to rip Ben off of you and pull you into his arms.

‘Babe?’ Piped up Lucy as she tugged on his sleeve ‘You want a beer?’

‘Uh - Yeah…’ He replied, shaking his head before slipping down onto the bench beside him ‘Thanks, baby.’

She gave him a sweet peck on the cheek and made her way to the bar, leaving him to return to staring at you and Ben.

‘Well, I for one am over the moon for you both.’ Said Will, grinning ‘You look really good together.’

‘Going to make beautiful babies.’ Ben joked and Frankie felt his stomach drop, noting the glint in your eyes as you beamed at the younger Miller.

‘Bit soon isn’t it?’ Boomed Will, letting out a breath chuckle.

‘Nothing wrong with thinking about the future.’ You stated, sticking your tongue out at Will before turning your head towards Ben and kissing him sweetly.

Frankie wanted to leave. He didn't want to stay here and watch you kiss his friend but he knew he had no right to be jealous. He was with Lucy. He'd picked her.

‘Of all the people you could date, why her?’ Yelled Frank, feeling his anger overflowing ‘Why her Ben?’

‘Why does it matter?’ He shouted back.

‘She’s my best friend!’

‘Who you’ve barely seen since you moved out!’ Spat Ben ‘She was so fucking depressed man. You’d left and she felt so alone. Did you ever show her that you appreciated what she did for you when you lived with her? Tell her she was beautiful? Tell her what she meant to you? Because she thinks she is the plain friend, doomed to be alone.’ Ben paused, scrubbing his hand over his face as he glanced at the restroom door ‘I have been into her for years. I held off because I knew she was your best friend but I couldn’t hold back any longer. She’s amazing and I’m falling hopelessly in love with her Fish. She deserves the world and I intend to give that to her.’

Frankie stood there with his mouth agape. He’d realised at that moment how selfish he’d been. He’d never made you feel appreciated, loved. He’d ignored your pain and now he knew that fact his mind was replayed the moments it had slipped out. He’d been so blind to it but now it was too late. He was too late.

Frankie Morales was in love with you… and he’d lost you to Ben.

When they'd returned to the table, Frankie had remained fairly silent as he desperately tried to quieten the anguish in his heart. He wished he'd never realised what he felt, he wished he'd remained ignorant of it but he knew he didn't really love Lucy. He never had.

Your heart raced with a mixture of nerve and excitement as Ben fucked you against the wall of the locker room. You could have been caught at any moment but you'd found yourself begging him for it before he’d lifted you by the back of your thighs and wrapped your legs around his waist, pushing your underwear to the side and slipping his throbbing length into your heat, silencing your moans with his mouth.

‘You gotta be quiet for me baby.’ He whispered, lust blown eyes locked with yours ‘Fuck you’re so beautiful.’ He panted as he rocked his hips, hitting that spot perfectly with each thrust of his strong hips.

‘F-fuck.’ You moaned, biting your bottom lip to stifle the filth that wanted to slip from your lips.

You could feel yourself fast approaching your orgasm and you latched onto his shoulders as your forehead fell against his, eyes remaining fixed on him

‘I love you.’ You whispered, smiling at the grin that swept across his face.

‘Fuck… I love you too baby.’ He replied, increasing his pace as he desperately tried to make you cum before him.

…

Frankie stepped into the locker room but stopped in his tracks when he heard it. Laboured breathing, stifled moans and he peeked around one of the lockers to see Ben fucking you against the wall. Your forehead was resting against his, mouth hanging open, knuckles white as you gripped onto his shoulders.

Then he heard it.

‘I love you.’

‘Fuck… I love you too baby.’

He managed to drag himself away after that, ears just catching your moans as you climaxed and he felt his heart break. Seeing you with him like that being the final nail in the coffin for him.

…

You couldn’t hold back the pleasured sob that escaped your lips as he made you cum, his release following straight behind yours and you kissed his deeply as you clutched onto him tightly, willing your heart to slow.

‘Fuck that was hot,’ Chuckled Ben as he lowered you to your feet ‘Good thing the boys didn’t arrive early.’

‘Would you have stopped?’ You question as you gave him a devilish grin.

‘Not sure I’d be capable of stopping.’ He replied ‘You feel too good.’

‘Mmm good answer.’ You replied as you pulled up your panties and kissed him sweetly ‘Love you.’ You said against his lips ‘Feels good to tell you that.’

‘Feels good to hear it.’ He replied, kissing the tip of your nose.

‘Look who I found making a run for it.’ Stated Will as he emerged from behind the lockers, arm slung around Frankie’s shoulders.

‘Where were you going?’ Asked Ben as he sat on one of the benches in the centre of the room and started to wrap his hands ready for the fight.

‘I uh…’ His eyes locked with yours and you saw something in them that makes your stomach twist Did he see us?

‘I don’t feel well.’ He stated, lifting his cap to adjust his hair underneath.

‘Nothing a beer can't fix.’ Will stated, pulling Frankie towards him and started to head to the ring ‘Meet you guys in there.’

You nod, watching as he led Fish away and then you turned to Ben with a mortified expression.

‘What?’ He asked upon seeing it.

‘I think he saw us.’ You replied plainly, hands shaking as you studied Ben’s reaction.

‘Fuck.’

You were dragged away from Ben’s lips by a knock at the door, the younger Miller groaning as you got off of his lap and padded across the room to your front door, taken aback by who you found standing there.

‘Lucy?’

‘Is Frankie here?’ She asked, her tone a little panicked.

You took her in. She looked unwell, a familiar gloss coating her eyes and you knew she was high.

‘No.’ You replied plainly, unable to hide your distaste at the state she was in ‘Why?’

‘We broke up a few weeks ago.’ She started, taking both you and Ben by surprise as he came up behind you ‘We’ve been texting the past few days. He was sad about something, has been sad for a few months now. He was supposed to come by today to grab the last of his things but he never showed. I tried calling but he isn’t answering. I’m worried about him. Thought maybe he’d come here.’

‘Where has he been living since he moved out?’ Ben asked, snaking his arm around your waist and giving you a friendly squeeze.

‘He found a flat.’

‘What's the address?’ He asked, grabbing the sticky notes and pen from your side table and noting it down as Lucy said it ‘Right. We’ll let you know if we hear from him. Go home and wait. He may still turn up. We’ll go check his apartment.’

Lucy nodded, her whole body trembling from a mixture of worry and need for her next fix. You recognised it, seen Frankie go through it and you felt a flicker of sympathy for her. She did really care about him. Ben called her a cab and saw her off before you both jumped into his truck and headed to the address she had given you, leg bouncing nervously as a terrible feeling washed over you. Your stomach dropped when you arrived, his door wide open and you'd both sprinted inside to find him seizing on the floor as someone, you assumed a neighbour, was on the phone to the emergency services beside him.

‘Frankie.’ You screamed as you fell to his side, cradling his face as his body was rocked with convulsions but Ben was glued to the spot in total shock. You felt sick as you watched his face, eyes rolling back as his seizure seemed to intensify and then it seemed to stop as abruptly as it had started and you sobbed as you rested your forehead against his.

‘Hold on please.’ You begged ‘Help’s coming. Just hold on.’ His breathing becoming more and more laboured.

You were pulled away by Ben as Frankie was then swarmed by medics, the neighbour who’d been there when you'd arrived coming to stand at your side.

‘I heard a scream, like none other I’d heard before, and then a crash.’ She started ‘He’s a nice boy. Gave me a spare key after he managed to lock himself out one night shortly after moving in. I let myself in and he was just laying there…. Then he started to fit and I-.’

‘You did really well... Miss?’

‘Roberts.’ She replied.

‘Well, Miss Roberts. We can’t thank you enough.’ Said Benny as he gave her a friendly smile.

‘Please keep me updated.’ She begged ‘Here’s my number.’ She said as she handed him a card ‘I won’t rest easy until I know he’s okay.’

‘We will.’ He replied, noting you following the gurney out the door ‘I promise.’ He shouted over his shoulder as he followed, leaping into the ambulance and sitting at your side.

The next few hours were a blur. Will arrived at the hospital around half an hour after you and Ben had and now the three of your sat waiting patiently for news. Ben held you tightly, stroking your hair as you clutched to him for dear life. Lips moving in silent prayer.

‘What happened?’ Asked Will, looking at his brother.

‘Lucy turned up asking if we’d seen Fish.’ He started, placing a soft kiss on the crown of your head ‘They broke up like a month ago apparently. He’s been living in town. She gave us his address and when we turned up his neighbour was kneeling beside him as he was having a fucking seizure.’

‘Do you think?’

Ben just widened his eyes, not wanting you to know what he thought. He didn’t think it was right for you to hear it from him if his suspicions were right.

‘Who’s here for Mr Morales?’

‘We are.’ Replied Will as the three of you stood.

‘Is he?’

‘He’s alive.’ He started and you all breathed a sigh of relief ‘But he's lucky to be.’

You all looked up at him with concern and waited for him to elaborate.

‘He overdosed on Morphine.’ He stated and your hand flew up to your mouth ‘It looks to be deliberate. He took enough to cause death. He knew what he was doing.’

‘No Frankie wouldn’t do that.’ You sobbed ‘He wouldn’t try and kill himself.’

'Shhhh.' Hushed Ben as he pulled you into him, stroking your hair in an attempt to soothe you.

‘He went into respiratory distress shortly after arriving but we managed to bring him back. He’s resting now and I’m confident that he’s going to recover. However we recommend that he be sectioned, his files show that he suffers from PTSD and that he’s a recovering cocaine addict. We fear he’s a danger to himself.’

‘No.’ Growled Ben ‘We’ll take care of him.’

‘Ben…’ Will scorned.

‘We’re not having him sectioned.’ He spat ‘We’ll take care of him won’t we baby?’

You nodded without hesitation.

You were allowed to see him a little while later and he’d been awake when you'd arrived but the pain in his eyes had made your stomach twist in knots. The way he’d looked at you made you feel sick to the stomach and you’d almost left, unable to bear seeing him like this.

‘Why Frankie?’ You managed to ask after a short period of silence, taking a seat beside his bed and taking his hand in yours.

‘I couldn’t do it anymore.’ He replied, choking on a sob that fell from his lips.

‘Do what?’

‘I realised too late.’

‘Frankie, what are you talking about?’ You pushed, brows furrowed in confusion.

‘I realised too late and now you love him.’

Your stomach dropped and you withdrew your hand.

‘I’m in love with you Arce.’ He declared ‘It hurts knowing you’re with him. That you love him.'

‘What are you saying Francisco?’ You grumbled ‘Are you telling me you tried to kill yourself because I’m with Ben?’

He didn’t say a word but you could read it in the look he was giving you.

‘Arce-.’

‘No, fuck you, Frankie.’ You spat, clutching your stomach as your sobs overthrew you ‘I’ve been in love with you since high school. I've borne the pain of loving someone that didn’t love me back for over a decade. It fucking hurt but never did I tried to take my own life because I couldn’t have you.’ You paused and his mouth dropped ‘Not even when you told me that when you met Lucy you'd found someone you could "be yourself around"... Those words cut me to the bone but I pushed past it and supported you. Ben is wonderful to me. He loves me. Makes me feel like a goddess. So the fact you "realised" you were in love with me after Ben and I got together… Well, that’s just shit Frankie because I love Ben. I’m finally happy after so long. This...’ You point at him and the hospital room around him ‘What you did was fucking selfish. I don’t- I can’t-.’

‘Arca.’

‘I need to leave.’ You sobbed as you got to your feet and sprinted from the room, not even stopping when Ben called your name.

You couldn’t stay here a moment longer. Not after he'd told you, you were the reason he tried to take his own life. He'd gone too far now.

Frankie moved in with the Miller brother for a little while after leaving the hospital. You’d avoided him, but you hadn’t told Ben what he’d said in the hospital. He’d tried to call, send several texts but you hadn’t been able to bring yourself to speak to him. He'd destroyed whatever had been left of your friendship the moment he'd swallowed those pills.

‘Fish’s really worried about you baby.’ He said softly, brushing his nose against yours ‘Baby he’s a mess. He's desperate to speak to you.’

‘I can’t.’ You replied.

‘Why the fuck not?’ Growled Ben, head shooting back ‘You two have been friends forever. He almost died baby. He needs his friends.’

‘Ask him why he did it.’ You growled, eyes darkening ‘Ask him why and then you’ll understand why I can’t speak to him.’

So that’s exactly what Ben did and Fish had been honest in answering him, leaving Ben in an impossible position.

‘The fuck you mean you’re in love with her?’ He yelled, instantly regretting raising his voice when Fish flinched ‘Is this why you freaked when you found out?’

‘No… Yes…. Sort of.’ He grumbled as he scraped a hand over his face ‘I didn’t realise until I saw your arm around her that I was… and always had been in love with her.’

Ben collapsed onto the couch, his stomach dropping.

‘She said she’d loved me since high school. I’d been blind to it until she had told me and then it had become so painfully obvious.’ He paused, eyes locking with Bens ‘But I’ve lost her to you now. She loves you.’ He hiccups ‘She deserves to be with a guy like you.’

‘Fish…’

‘Ben please.’ He begged, raising his hand to silence him ‘I know what I did was selfish but I was in a hole so deep I saw no way out. Now I’ve lost her completely.’ He threw his head into his hands and sobbed ‘I’ve fucked everything up so badly.’

From that day Ben made it his mission to repair your broken friendship. He had eventually managed to sit the two of you down, making you the both of you talk and after the two of you finally got the truth out there you were able to start to repair the tattered remains of your relationship the two of you had once treasured so much. You’d offered to let him move in again, something that Ben had actually suggested one evening over dinner. Things had been a little awkward at first, especially on the nights when Ben stayed over but as the days faded into weeks. Weeks into months. You found that you were able to fall back into the routine you'd had before, with Ben being an added extra. You'd blinked and a year had passed, your relationship with the younger Miller getting stronger and stronger. He'd moved in with you soon after the anniversary, something that Frankie appeared to take well but little did you know it was eating him alive under the surface. The selfish part of him had hoped that by the two of you living together again, that he'd have a chance to woo you but you were too in love with Ben. He'd never stood a chance. So as the months went on, Ben became more permanent and as time went on you both talked of the future, of what you both so desperately wanted.

‘I’m going to miss you.’ Ben panted against your lips as he thrust himself deep into your heat, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from you as you arched your back to urge him deeper ‘Fuck I’m going to miss you so much.’

‘I’ll miss you too.’ You whined ‘Fuck… Ben.’ You pleaded as your hands grasped at his toned ass ‘Harder… please.’

He did as you asked, increasing his pace and you moaned loudly before throwing your head back in a silent scream. It didn’t take long for him to make you cum for the third time since you'd started, growling against the shell of your ear as you bit down on his shoulder to muffle your scream.

‘Fuck baby.’ He grunted, thrusting half a dozen more times before filling you with his cum. ‘Pillow.’ He said and you grabbed one for him, raising your hips so he could slide it under.

‘You think it’ll take?’ You asked, smiling at him warmly.

‘God I hope so.’ He said as he placed a kiss on your stomach ‘Can’t wait to see you round with my baby in your belly.’

‘You’re cute.’ You giggled, pulling him into a kiss ‘Do you have to go?’

‘You know I do baby.’ He said softly, kissing you softly ‘But I promise I will be back here as soon as I can. Fish’ll take good care of you whilst I’m gone.’

‘Three weeks is such a long time.’

‘I know but think about it this way… When I come back, we can do a test and hopefully.’ He pauses to kiss you sweetly ‘It will tell us we’re going to have a family.’

‘Well, when you put it that way.’ You grinned ‘Perhaps we should do it at least once more… Just to be sure.‘

‘God yes.’ He growled as he kissed you deeply again, feeling himself growing hard again.

‘I read that doggy is an excellent position for conceiving.’ You stated, looking at him seductively 'Allows for deeper penetration.'

‘God I love you.’ He growled as he flipped you onto your front, kissing up your spine as you got onto your hands and knees.

‘Put a baby in me, Benny.’ You begged, wiggling your ass a little as you grinned at him over your shoulder.

‘Would be my pleasure.’ He purred as he pushed himself into your heat again, groaning in unison with you.

The pace he set this time was mind-numbing, the sound of his hips slapping against you only making you more aroused. His hands gripped your hips tightly as he pounded into you and you felt the coil inside you start to tighten, threatening to snap at any moment.

‘Touch yourself.’ He ordered and you shivered at the pleasure his command brought you and slipped your hand down your body and began to rub the bundle of nerves between your thighs, crying out as he started to hit your sweet spot over and over.

‘Fuck baby I’m close.’ He whined, gripping you tighter as he sped up again.

‘So am I.’ you replied breathlessly.

‘Good.’ He growled, pounding into you mercilessly and then you cum together before collapsing on the bed with him still very much inside of you.

Pulling out of you he arranged the pillow underneath your belly so your hips were raised, hoping gravity would help the process along.

‘God I can’t wait to have a baby with you.’ He panted as he laid down beside you, stroking your cheek affectionately.

You beamed at him, taking his hand in yours as you came down from your high. You prayed his seed would take, that he would return to the best news in the world. You’d both decided to keep it a secret, for now, wanting to surprise them all but little did you know that Frankie now knew. He’d walked past your door just as you’d asked Ben to put a baby in you and his heart had shattered.

He’d never get you now.

Part 2

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