#even though it’s a constant problem in their building apparently

[easy-there-leftovers]

I See You, Darling (2)

[Astarion x reader] Due to surprisingly overwhelming demand, the previous fic, along with this one and many more to follow, will now be part of a series!! It was honestly very difficult trying to come up with what happens next, but here we are. The idea came to me during a fever!! |Word count: 2.5k.| Based off of this post I made.

Part 1 here!!

Next part here!!

The reader believes they are in a dream. It wouldn’t be the first time their fantasies conjured up such an obscure, yet somehow realistic scene. And so they’ve elected to treat the experience with as much realism as one would observe in a dream; little to none.

Alternatively;An ex-art-student-now-traveler accustoms themselves to the party.

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“Shadowheart. Shadow…heart. Hm.” His gaze bounced between you and her. 

“I’m sure her parents meant well, but the name is rather ominous, isn’t it?” He leaned over to your side, not bothering to hide his blatant distrust. Lowering his voice dramatically, if anything.

“Unless she chose it herself. Which is even more worrying, honestly.” He chuckled out.

It had been no more than two bells after mornbright when you met Astarion. Since then, you’ve come to realize how…different your presence has changed the course of the story. Though more subtle than you expected.

It would seem as if you had met the elven vampire before the party was formed, which was strange as your last save point was far later than that and the forest had been quite a long way from the beach.

When you finally stumbled upon Shadowheart, he was quick to share his inner thoughts that you haven’t heard from the game before. 

As they continued with their quest to find a cure for the Illithid problem, expanding their party as they did so, you had tried to make yourself useful by doing the dirty work for them. Looting and opening crates filled with camp supplies, armor, and potentially useful weapons and artifacts could always come in handy for trade or for “artifact consumption,” as per Gale’s need. Sorting them for your group’s convenience.

And while you did not have more direct and immediate practical use for your course of study in the modern world, the research you’ve created and reviewed for character creation and world building was doing wonders for your survival.

Or as much as it can for a magicless, not so athletic human. 

The “runes” of the medieval ages that have been carved into stone, along with the basic history and background of the common races and deities of the fantastical world that tabletop RPG has offered puts you at quite an advantage.

Not to mention your experience with the areas of the game giving you the same effect.

But this library of information had also aroused something akin to suspicion and concern. It would be understandable if you were a simple traveler just like them, or perhaps even an artisan from the guild, but you were not as astute as either background.

So how could you have access to this much knowledge yet be unaware of more practical matters? It’s as if you had simply read about it from somewhere. 

Astarion had been quick to give an explanation before you could form one of your own that could poorly convince your companions. Although, perhaps his suggestion was more outlandish than anything you could have come up with.

“They came with me. Property and all the formality that comes with it. A family pet, if you will.” A perfect excuse to justify your constant proximity to him, and a likely explanation to being well read, but not well experienced.

You thought nothing of the title, your apathy to the non-hazardous labels of this world apparent.

The same couldn’t have been said about your associates who had a few comments about this disclosure.

“I am unfamiliar with the–well, I shall not say ‘culture.’ ‘Customs’, perhaps. I did not think your kind to house such breed of cattle. Perhaps they could be useful.” Was Lae’zel’s. 

“I assure you, they typically don’t. Humans aren’t naturally subservient to Elves, at least in this manner. This setup sounds more akin to slavery. Blink twice if you need help.” Was Gale’s response. 

“It seems like Astarion's from the upper city, given the embroidery on his armor. I wouldn’t put it past them to have servants that follow them around.” Shadowheart’s nose crinkled at the thought. 

The party already had such an interesting rapport. Not entirely comfortable with one another to divulge everything, but loose enough to have semi-pleasant conversation with.

You thought this as you sorted out the fruits of your collective labor into neat pouches and bags, keeping items similar to one another factioned into their respective holding space. The chest being closer to Withers more than you’d like, but it was nice to hear the ramblings of an…undead person? Hearing someone continuously talking allows you to be more productive.

You’ll admit, handling enchanted armor and crystals does make you a tad nervous but you’re comforted by the thought that it will not be you who wields it in battle.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see Gale approaching your direction. Possibly to ask for his share of the camp supplies just a little earlier to sate himself as you had an abundance of it for now. You regard him with your back turned and he stops for a bit.

“I will say that I don’t have the lightest of feet, but I figured myself better at sneaking around.” It’s not his fault that he got caught, but the bright purple robe and the smell of the oils you’ve been crafting for them are particularly noticeable.

“You are, but I’ll assume you're not exactly in the best shape after dealing with a few goblins.” You hold up a bottle of a healing potion, swinging it a bit with your fingers to indicate that the smell had warned you of his arrival.

“You’ve got a keen nose on you. Must be from all of Astarion’s training but, speaking of which,” He nears himself to your crouched form, going in to lean against a very old and empty crate.

“Gale, wait–” Right as your warning leaves you, they seem to evade him as falls right through the wood. A comical layer of dust and lichen pluming out from the force. He tries to quickly recover from both the physical and emotional damage as he brushes himself off to make himself presentable once more. 

“Ahem, as I was saying,” He again makes his way over to you, settling for just standing close as his attempts to look unbothered temporarily cost him his ego.

“I was serious about what I said before. While I don’t know what to make of our pallid friend just yet, as enigmatic as he is, what he said before is quite confusing. Best make haste away from here if you want your freedom while we’re distracted with this worm problem.” His tone suggests a genuine concern which confuses you.

You’d be lying to yourself if the label of the set up didn’t sound odd, but you’ve never expressed discomfort as there was nothing all too worrying about it on your end. It was mostly for show, and you had as much independence as Tav would have in your game.

You endeavor to quickly dispel his worries.

“You don’t have to worry, I’m very satisfied with my servitude under Astarion. He’s very lenient and reliable, and I’m better off with him than on my own." You return to your task of sifting through your materials but pause and look back up at him to continue.

"I do thank you for turning my way though. Your concern is much appreciated but unnecessary.” You lowered your head a bit to show your thanks.

“Well if someone as generous as yourself says to trust you on this, then I have no choice but to concede! I’ll keep a watchful eye and offer guidance, should you need it. Also, do we happen to have something for—” As he asks you for some sort of salve, just a few ways off, your eccentric “handler,” of sorts, watches the two of you interact.

Don’t get him wrong, such matters don’t really catch his attention, but being an elf does curse him with the ability to have extensive hearing. Something that he thinks Gale knew, and something you forgot. That would explain the lack of distance between you two.

He thinks it’s amusing how the wizard is trying to make conversation with you as if you were some foreign creature. His usual eloquence nowhere to be seen, and you seemed as unbothered as ever. Like how he usually saw you when you conversed with someone through a crystal.

It was a phone, not that he knew that though.

“They’re a real nice one, aren’t they?” Karlach says from her side of the camp which was nearer towards his tent and yours.

“Hm, yes. While that may be an admirable trait, it’s hardly going to get them anywhere if they keep this up.” Astarion huffed out, not very keen on your altruistic playstyle so far.

He doesn’t know much about what you do and don’t know, all he knows is that you do know of the events to unfold and could be the key to defeating his master.

 All he needs is to keep you at his side. So he’ll allow you this much freedom.

“Oh come on, you. You can’t seriously think that after everything. Our camp’s pretty well maintained because of ‘em, not to mention the connections we’ve been able to get!” She fortifies her statement by knocking on her chest, the engine humming within feels lighter and newer since you’ve informed her of the tiefling blacksmith at the grove. 

He hums in response, returning to reading his book as he thinks about his growing hunger. He’ll have to hunt soon enough. While your positive reputation occasionally reflects on him by proxy, it can also reflect negatively due to the alleged nature of your relationship. If he wants the journey to a way of understanding the tadpoles to be a more comfortable one, he has to at least prevent their trust in him from diminishing.

~

Night falls later than he’d have liked, having waited for everyone to be asleep so that he may prowl the forest for sustenance.

The rest were sound asleep in their bedroll as the skirmish from earlier on in the day had proven to be sufficiently tiring. The crackling fire surely brings a lulling warmth that he supposes he’ll have to miss out on for a while.

As he begins to slink off into the darkness, he looks back to gauge his surroundings and catches your form from across the settlement. It seems you were tallying away the items in the shared chest and double-checking to see that everything is checked and balanced with your records. 

Your shoulders jump at his suddenly standing form, but try to understand his intentions. You mouth, “where?” with a very confused face, to which he responds with a simple shushing motion and waits for your acknowledgement.

You nod slowly, and he holds your gaze before sneaking off once again.

‘He’s coming back, right?’ You wondered. The progression of your experience now in comparison to the game was vastly different, and you didn’t know if all scenes, or only some, would present themselves in this world. You assume he planned to hunt, and while you trust his abilities, you want to make sure he’s attended to properly should he be harmed in any way.

So after retrieving a few potions, a journal, and a pencil, you stashed them in a satchel and positioned yourself at the base of the tree in the direction he left in. You weren’t particularly sleepy tonight, and planned to pass the time in wait of your companion. 

There wasn’t much to do in this century to keep yourself entertained. The only things you’ve found so far were a few instruments and all manners of journals and inks.

The inkpot that you picked up appeared to be red this time. The game of, “which ink dye will I get this time?” will have to be the most of your entertainment for now. Not all too different from home, you suppose. And while writing keeps your mind at bay, illustrating all manners of wildlife have proven to be quite the fun exercise. 

You’ve made a few notes on creatures that you and your company have encountered. The visual elements of a drawing allowed you and the others to keep track of materials that could be salvaged from them, and their resistances to certain attacks. 

Though as much as you liked depicting such lifeforms in paper, you’ve come to be very interested in portraying your vampire friend.

Evidence of your interest present in the pages filled with his likeness as you search for an unmarked page. You’ve made a few of the others, yes, but anyone who would gain access to your journal would surely see which member of the group you favor more.

You continued to draw, and occasionally write, on the parchment as you waited for Astarion to come back. All sense of time evading you as you focus on the task at hand.

A perfect opportunity for a tired rogue to surprise an unsuspecting human.

“And what are you still doing up, little one?” He appears from behind the very tree you rested against, causing you to spill a bit of ink on your thumb.

You clicked your tongue, not at all annoyed by the character but by your absentmindedness and now stained appendage.

“Sorry, I was just waiting for you.” You sealed the inkpot, and gathered your materials. Effectively, but unknowingly, hiding your work from peering eyes that were the same deep red as your finger.

“I’m very flattered, darling. But couldn’t you wait until morning? I'm sure this couldn’t have been all too important, yes?” He gestures to your satchel, referring to your journal, but you misinterpreted it as him asking for your medical supplies.

“Oh, that depends. Are you hurt, by any chance? I stayed awake in case you might've needed help tending to yourself.” You opened the pouch to reveal its contents to him, your stained thumb in full view.

The sight makes him sigh out, but is thankful for your offered service.

“I’m alright, nothing of interest happened while I was away.” He considers telling you about the nature of his little…'escapade.' He's unaware if you are of his condition, and he doesn’t wish to out himself if not necessary to avoid possible conflict. So he settles for advising you to rest.

“We need you well rested, my dear. You sleep. I’ll keep watch.” The dialogue is familiar, and you can’t stop yourself from letting a small laugh out as you responded with an equally familiar line

“Thank you. I’ll sleep better for that.” You lower your head as you usually do in gratitude.

“The pleasure is all mine.” He mirrors your gesture, albeit in a way that is most appropriate for someone of his character. “Sweet dreams.”

You walked back to the chest. Returning the potions and ink you’ve plucked from the supply, but keeping the rest of the pouch’s materials with you as you turn in for the night. Awaiting the promise of further study that a new day typically makes.

As Astarion is left with his own thoughts, a sour taste still in his mouth from his earlier meal, he thinks about the man in the journal you kept. He did not see much, only a vague outline of the figure. He thinks about who, or what, it could have been but dismisses the thought rather quickly.

He has no time for a mysterious person with hair less perfect than his own, touching his untainted locks as he does.

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Thank you everyone for your interest in the series!! As per the request of some, I'll now be adding a taglist!

Thank you to @rey26, @shyminnie07, @lynnloveshobi, @iggee-rose, @automnepoet, and @tiannamortis for asking to be tagged!!

#astarion ancunin #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion ancunin x reader #astarion x mc #baldur's gate 3 x reader #bg3 x reader isekai(?) #aware!astarion #though I guess not so aware-- #lol

[allieebobo]

Merry Crisis—Cast of characters

Romance-focused x Slice-of-life x Queer x Non-Euro-centric x Character-based

Demo | Features | Dev log | Back to Main Post | COG forum | Dedicated tumblr | Ko-fi

Credit: The wonderful amazing INSANELY talented @dumplingcatho made these STUNNING character portraits!! I am still reeling from how dang good she is. I swear she probably made a deal with the devil for this talent but I shall not question it.

Nat [M/F]

The soulmate/ex/best friend.

Your ex. Your parents never approved of them, but you suppose it doesn’t matter anymore. Despite the breakup, you’re still friends, and worse still - you still live with them in a tiny shoebox apartment. New York rent, man—it's hard to say no even though you know you should be moving on, and moving out.

Height: 6′2 (M) | 5′11 (F)

Nationality & race: African-American

Occupation: Post-doc fellow, working towards becoming a tenure-track professor.

Description:

Warm, twinkling eyes, and big, infectious laugh. Can swing from nerdy charm to extreme goofyness at the drop of a pin.

Loving, thoughtful, and kind to a fault. Relaxed, gentle demeanour

The kind of friend—and partner—you can trust with your life.

An incurable optimist.

Loves people, art/movies (especially talking about them with friends), food/cooking, their two dogs. 

Nat's dogs

Kiho [M]

Breed: Cairn Terrier

Age: 8

Description: Proud, small, intelligent, standoffish, with a stern grandpa energy. Apparently, a reader/player told me long ago that Kiho means "big boss" in Finnish colloquial slang and that was so perfect that it stuck. If Kiho were human he'd wear an old patagonia vest and spend his weekends fishing (not very adeptly).

Liz [F]

Breed: Border collie

Age: 3 (adopted when MC and Nat were already together.)

Description: Not exactly literal golden retriever energy but... close enough. A ray of sunshine, playful, easygoing, happy-go-lucky and a voracious eater (she eats everything), loves playing in puddles and has a special love for chewed up tennis balls.

Qiu [M/F]

The estranged first love / soulmates.

Your first-love (or platonic soulmate), from junior college. You’d not kept in touch, and now, they’re ridiculously successful. But, according to your intel, still…single.

Height: 5′8 (M) | 5′4 (F)

Nationality & race: Chinese Singaporean

Occupation: Public prosecutor

Description:

Extremely intelligent, with a sharp, cutting wit.

Ambitious, determined, and a bit cynical / jaded.

Dark, piercing gaze, with a completely unreadable expression.

Formal, a little bit stiff, and always impeccably dressed.

Aloof, almost intimidating presence despite their relatively average height/slim build.

Loves a job well done, being useful, stimulating conversation, and solving problems. Peace and quiet.

Shay [M/F]

The charismatic stranger.

Your neighbour (Auntie Pearl)'s new tenant. Sexy, confident, and unabashedly unconventional. Your mother definitely does not approve, but you might not be able to resist their roguish charms.

Height: 5′10 (M) | 5′6 (F)

Nationality & race: Chinese (Peranakan) Singaporean

Occupation: Lead singer & guitarist in a rock band

Description:

Thick, sweeping eyebrows, expressive eyes that twinkle at the edges, and a permanent roguish half-grin.

Tan, athletic, with an undeniable swagger to their walk. Has a penchant for sleeveless muscle tees. Good with their hands (and... possibly other parts of their body).

Adventurous, resilient, unflinchingly honest, and uncompromisingly true to themselves / the people they love.

Loves the outdoors (and constant motion), music (especially rock, reggae and soul), dancing, soccer, nature/plants (including gardening).

Other asks

#if #interactive fiction #merry crisis #nat #shay #qiu #cast of characters #characters #images #main post #don't mind me just making neater posts

[furiousgoldfish]

Being betrayed by your first ever bond in your childhood (be it parents, caretakers, friends, peers or relationship) puts you in a horrible psychological position, because after experiencing that, your instincts, and your learned experience will constantly clash with each other.

As humans, our instincts and desires are to bond with each other in order to be safe, connected, feel valuable, worthy, loved, taken care of. We generally feel better in a group of people we trust to do us no harm, who keep us company, fulfill our social needs, and will readily aid us in the times of trouble. This, historically, was the safest and the best way for our species to survive, we rely on each other to keep resources available, and to take care of our needs.

However, if your first experience with close bonds came with trauma, exploitation, abuse, betrayal, pain, danger, or something as extreme as being pushed into a suicidal state or close to death, your learned experience is now that bonding with others is highly dangerous, painful, terrifying and extremely risky activity. After this, your brain will keep reminding you during any kind of bonding, that you’re taking a huge risk, and will keep triggering you to the past events and how badly they damaged you, in order to keep you well aware of what could happen if you make yourself vulnerable like this again.

And so you end up in a constant conflict with your own needs and learned experience. You will still long for closeness, maybe even more than a regular person because your social needs have never been fulfilled even slightly, you’re drowning in yearning for something as simple as conversation and approval, being seen as worthy and valuable, the very basics of human connection. But you’re stopped, at your every step, by your learned experience of how risky, terrifying, and potentially deadly would it be, to actually be close to another human being.

And abuse then just builds up more burden on top of that foundation. It’s not enough you have to constantly struggle with avoiding people and wanting to be close, no, you’re also feeling guilty and ashamed, for being betrayed and abused, for how society sees you after that, for feeling the desire for intimacy, for longing to be close even though it hurt you. Abuse will also teach you that it’s your fault you got abused in the first place, so now you feel like external circumstances are internal, and it was something you did in a context of a close relationship that caused you this pain. So instead of avoiding close relationships, you reach for them and them over-focus on your own faults within, trying to locate what in your behaviour is causing others to hurt you so badly. You automatically take responsibility for everything that happens within a close bond, so you take responsibility for the abuser’s actions too, and become unable to view them critically, to condemn them, to put the blame on them for it.

Society will almost always point at you as the problem - diagnose you with ‘trust issues’, or ‘victim mentality’, and will tell you to forgive and open yourself up to love again, (or even worse, claim that you already are loved, but apparently you don’t feel it in any way), causing you to again, keep finding the faults within yourself, and never look for them externally.

Having your instincts tell you that something is dangerous and risky, after you’ve been betrayed horribly and put in an awful state by it in the past, is not ‘having trust issues’. Your ‘mentality’ cannot make anyone abuse you. Love is not something that does absolutely nothing for you and fails to protect you from pain at any point in your life. If you had to fight for yourself alone, unprotected, vulnerable and devastated, and nobody ever stood up for you or helped you, then you can correctly conclude that you were not loved. Love would stand up for you.

None of these are claims you should be forced to defend yourself from, yet this is where the conversation goes, to over-focusing on whatever the victim could have done wrong, and never placing any blame to external circumstances (such as, abusers having access to children). There’s a reason why we, as a society, know not do to fucked up things to children. There’s a reason why it’s different when it’s a child, to when it’s an adult. An adult who has managed to secure enough close bonds with others, will not be crushed by just one betrayal. A child, who is dependent on keeping a bond to survive, who has not yet learned the safe way to develop closeness with others, who is open to any bond they could possibly form, in hope of safer survival, will psychologically be turned against their own instincts, and grow to fight with themselves, and struggle to develop safe bonds, for most or all of their life.

#child abuse #safe bonding #abusive parents #psychological abuse #how betrayal in childhood affects development #abusive relationships #toxic relationships #child abuse setting up children to enter and stay in toxic relationships #toxic #toxic guilt #i feel like i managed to peel off all of the layers of shame guilt and self blamee #and now i'm left just with instincts vs learned experience #instincts want to bond and experience says it's going to kill me if i do

[miscellaneoussmp]

*bounces back* hi hello so! mystery dungeon au. You're my notes document apparently. This is just like. So much angsty hours for the Brazilian mystery dungeon pokemon guys. There was supposed to be fluff in here somewhere but nah. The redeeming feature is that this is multiple years before actual plot happens (well bar the glowy Pac thing, that's still the case), and literally everyone involved is in much better places in their lives now.

Firstly. Shinx glow when stressed? Pac is just constantly glowing. People who don't understand shinx think when he stops glowing he's sick, but then they comment and he gets stressed again. No, no the glowing isn't a normal state of things, it's constant muscle tension from anxiety and trauma he's pretending he doesn't have making excess electricity. If on the occassional times he manages to get peaceful enough sleep to stop glowing (or otherwise gets a break) and you wake him up, Mike will just scratch you to death. He gets less glowy (more lower intensity than less often but hey still progress) when hanging out with Fit, so its allowed. (Mike does not know just how bright - to the point he can't hide it even in the sunshine - Pac gets when he's missing, as he's not there to see it).

The following is um kinda angsty even by above but I've been infodumping it a friend but he's busy now so you get it too! Backstory!!! Fit's the MC but brain not there rn also he doesn't have as much backstory what with amnesia and all.

Bagi is incharge of bounties for collecting criminals (she did used to be a cop in canon), but there's a much lower focus on prison and higher focus on rehabilitation and like. Actually helping. Most people still move into the city where her bosses are and better resources, but sometimes people who were arrested stick around. This is kinda how the Brazilian exploration team happened? After they were arrested and had healed Bagi arranged for Pac, Mike, and Cellbit to join the exploration guild, where they ended up teaming up with Felps. Shared language and also history between them.

Prior to getting arrested! Pac was abandoned as a kid in a dungeon, Mike hatched there without parents, Cellbit was kidnapped as a kid and put in an illegal pokemon fighting ring (please remember the characters are all pokemon, but humans do exist and are talked about) which he escaped. The three were part of the same gang causing minor level trouble in a dungeon, living outside of society (well, societies - most settlements are autonomous and have all their own rules and all). However one really harsh winter the rest of the gang ditched them. Mostly they had stuck to their territory so people just avoided them, but when things got hard and they needed to steal food and resources often violently that's when bounties were put on their heads.

Mike was fine. As a sableye he could eat the rocks. Pac the shinx and Cellbit the cubone though? Not so fine.

Things happen, Pac passes out, probably combo of injury and getting sick and hunger. And Cellbit... Cellbit is really *really* hungry. You don't get just quite how hungry - they were already doing survival theft before this and barely not starving, now they're 2 months into a snowstorm.

And well... You know how canon goes. This is so, so much more desperation and starvation than canon was. But Mike comes back from in on Pac getting a bit chewed on. As the only one who has eaten properly in the last 2 months he manages to get Cellbit off him, and just. Leaves Cellbit dazes on the floor as he decides getting arrested is better than Pac dying (while Bagi and her organisation are on the lets actually try help people build lives side of policing, a lot of towns its really, really not like that at all. And being random teens from a gang? Horror stories of bad places kept them in line). He can stop the blood, but its bad injury. Plus, yk, all the other problems rn.

So he ends up dragging Pac and trying to find a town to hand themselves in.

Meanwhile, Felps is a young adventurer, who has taken out the bounty on Pac, Mike, and Cellbit mostly because Guildmaster Foolish is looking at him like a tasty snack for having not done any jobs recently. Foolish gets to be lazy, the others don't. It's rated as a pretty simple job because, like, the rest of the gang were caught and taken to one of the cities, and three teenagers who have been starving for months. Honestly Bagi posted the bounty herself and with her money because she worked out her brother was involved, but that's besides the point.

Felps ends up finding Pac and Mike at the midpoint of the dungeon, and kinda. That's someone covered in blood. So abandons looking for all three to just teleport them out and to whomever does healing here. Not worked that out yet. Mike is... extremely confused to be just. Left with the healer while Felps teleports off again to get Bagi, and even moreso when Bagi is far more worried about her brother left behind and *eating people* than the two criminals right there. She is also very appreciative that Felps took them to the clinic then came to get her. She doesn't want dead suspects, she wants people to actually get fairly judged and get the help they need as opposed to just throwing them in a cell.

Mostly because she knows some of the crimes her brother has done and wants to believe her brother can still have a life but you know. If she believes there's hope for him, she can believe if about a lot of people.

Unfortunately, Cellbit eating people means she does have to increase the pay and danger level of the bounty, meaning Felps is no longer qualified to finish it. Another team take it, Felps gets to take some time off but does visit those two as curious. And like they stole stuff. They stole a lot of stuff. But also. They're kinda interesting. And they're curious about what he does too. Especially the the guild just gives him a room and pays for all his food yes even with weird diets like Mike has to eat gemstones.

Double unfortunately, the people who pick up Cellbit's bounty... Look. He's horrified at probably killing Pac and Mike (he's killed before, but these two kinda liked him, but he ate Pac and drove Mike out into the snow with what was probably a corpse and was absolutely a corpse in his memory), he's also sick, and starving, and sure he's kinda feral and absolutely resorts to violence first, but if you scruffed him you could probably drag him to town like a naughty puppy.

The team... Do not do that.

They don't even ask for him to surrender before beating him to within an inch of his already tenuous life. And then drag him back to town. And dump him on Bagi's office floor. Rather than, yk, taking the now seriously injured, starving, teenage cubone to the clinic (Bagi is also young, but... it's a small town, she trained apprenticeship style most of her teens, and as the explorer's guild is there if there are problems help is right at hand). Bagi is *not* impressed. Their pay gets docked, and she takes her brother to get help. And wrangles a lot of paperwork to be able to keep him in the village rather than sending him to her superiors in the city who... Have much better resources to help.

But.

Bagi wants her brother, and she's not giving him up.

Recovery from those sorts of injuries is a lot, and also gives all three time to come around to the idea of maybe trying something other than crime. And therapy. Therapy takes some convincing. Honestly having stability in their lives is a lot of a start, though takes a lot of getting used to.

Given time and help getting lives together and all that, the three of them end up at the Guild, because, well, they were interested, and Foolish was willing. And all guild members get bed and board whenever needed (though more senior crews tend to get their own houses with time).

As of Fit showing up they've been with the guild for a few years, and mostly settled in now, and people around town have mostly forgotten the somewhat harrowing nature of them arriving. The scars physically and mentally are still there, but newcomers tend to assume its because exploration work is dangerous, not... yk. Horrific backstory.

They also teamed up with Felps, because he kidna did need a team, and language shared, and Mike liked him and Mike and Cellbit at the time they were teaming were on unstable enough footing Cellbit had to say yes. These days its Cellbit and Felps are besties, though, once Cellbit warmed up to the idea of having friends.

The four of them mostly work in item finding. Pac and Mike were like what do you *mean* we can get paid to legally steal shit from dungeons for people? They get a roof, and food, and no problems with cops, and get to steal shit?! This is like. A dream. And all dungeon explorations involve some fighting, just because of how dungeons go, so Cellbit has somewhere to work out stabby tendencies. They do also do rescue missions (people trapped in dungeons) when needed, but do *not* do bounties on criminals. Its a bit... traumatic for 3/4 of them. Honestly likely 4/4 of them as Felps took one and ended up with some guy a year or two younger than him nearly bleeding to death during the teleport to safety. Just. Different trauma flavours.

Also!!! After searching egg groups, Bagi is a Nidorana (Nidoran both genders matches to Cubone, even if Nidorana can't egg group breed)! It's... Okay yes Cubones do evolve at a higher level than Nidoran, but it is notable she is evolved while Cellbit isn't, despite both being a fair bit into adulthood now. Same with Pac being a Shinx (Felps is mostly just still an Abra as he doesn't see any pressing need to evolve and is just vibing. Some people naturally just chill as their pokemon and this is fine. Someday he'll get around to it, but he doesn't *want* to be bigger and stronger and more able to protect himself and his like Cellbit and Pac). Cellbit did not get the same opportunities as Bagi in life, and so it is taking him longer to get there. Also. Bagi did everything she could to force herself to grow early, to prove her maturity so people would give her what she needed to find her twin.

~Factorial

Factorial, you're really out here writing a novel in my inbox /pos!!

God, they hurt my heart physically in every universe!!!!! There's so much wrong with them. They all need a nap and a hug, I think.

#asks #qsmp #qsmp pac #qsmp mike #qsmp cellbit #qsmp bagi #sorry for not responding to anything in particular factorial </3 #i just- they make my heart so much #factorial's mystery dungeon au

[waterlilyrose]

Kanthony #22? 🙏🏼

22. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”

He was hard to ignore. Very hard.

Going back to university as a mature student was very strange but something that Kate had always dreamed of. She had originally meant to go to university in Mumbai after achieving excellent grades but the tragedy of her father's rapid decline and death had stopped any talk of that. Mary had been distraught and Edwina, who was just ten at the time, kept waking up in the night crying and needing a cuddle to go back to sleep. Kate had got a job as quickly as she could to help support them both before they eventually decided to move to the UK for a fresh start.

Eventually Mary seemed to realise that Kate had abandoned her life for their sakes and had encouraged Kate to apply for university at last. So at the age of 26 she got accepted into Cambridge University.

Kate loved being a student again - she loved learning and working towards her goals. The buildings were old and interesting and the teachers were generally nice. Most of the other students were a bit younger than her but they were all on the same path.

There was just one little problem with this beautiful picture:

Anthony Bridgerton.

At 29, he was the only other mature student in her class. Originally she had been eager to meet someone closer to her age than the other students and when she saw him that first day in the class she'd felt a quiver of excitement. There was no denying he was really quite gorgeous to look upon - he was fit but not overly so, he had close cut hair that curled a little at the front and big brown eyes that Kate found both adorable and deeply sexy. And he had smiled at her cockily when he had first seen her even though he had been on one side of the room and she had been on the other.

Then he opened his mouth and ruined it. Granted Kate shouldn't have eavesdropped when she saw him at a bar with some friends but what she heard didn't endear him to her. He seemed to find the idea of a girlfriend laughable and his disdain for his fellow students (meaning, by definition, her) was apparent. So when they bumped into each other in the hallway as they both headed towards their latest class his attempts at flirting with her fell flat. Soon it became apparent that if they couldn't be friendly then they could be enemies.

Everything became a competition between them. Kate listened eagerly to the teacher and tried to answer as many questions as possible; Bridgerton would always voice a discerning argument to her answers. Kate got her own back by challenging him during his moments of introspection. Kate worked overtime on her essays to get a higher score than him and she didn't celebrate passing a paper until she had heard she had done better than him - she sometimes did but he was maddeningly quite good at his essays too.

But something that Kate found even harder than beating him was to not look at him. She tried to keep her eyes pinned to the front of the class but sometimes she peaked in his direction.

She looked at his hands which tended to always be nervous and playing with a pen or the signet ring on his little finger. Nice hands. Cleanly cut nails and large.

She looked at him running his hands through his hair as he examined a text that seemed to confuse him. It made him look like he'd just woken up… or been doing something else in bed…

She looked at his profile. Strong nose, sharp jawline, plush lips…

Kate always left the lessons feeling flushed and a bit breathless.

Then a nightmare happened - they needed to pair up on a project. And everyone else had already teamed up with who they wanted to work with - Kate also guessed that her and Bridgerton's constant battle of wills meant their classmates weren't overly keen to get caught in the crossfire. So Kate had to sit next to him and try not to hiss with rage.

The project was relatively simple - the true challenge was trying to agree what to write down without killing him in the process. They met up in the library to peruse books (plus they couldn't argue when they weren't allow to talk). Working with Bridgerton alerted Kate to the fact he wasn't unintelligent - he had taken a degree at 18 that bored him to tears but he felt he had to do in order to get the degree to take over the family business after his dad's death. It was only now he felt he could do a subject he was interested in - she got the impression it was the first thing he'd done for himself in years. She learnt he was afraid of bees, he loved his family deeply whilst believing at the same time they weren't too keen on him and he was single.

On the day of the final presentation for their project, Edwina had asked Kate to meet her for a night out. Kate didn't have many things that were considered party outfits but she did have a nice skirt that was a tiny bit shorter than usual. Nothing scandalous but it would be seen as posh enough to get into the bars Edwina wanted to visit. She turned up to class, ready to go out straight after the class. Bridgerton seemed ready to say his usual mocking quip as a means of a morning greeting. But seeing her he abruptly shut his mouth and went a bit pink in the cheeks. Kate frowned at his weird reaction before sitting down next to him and waiting their turn.

The project went well and Kate was confident of a good grade. They were the last to pack up their stuff in the class and therefore the last two in the class.

"Well… it looks like we've passed." Kate mused.

"Yeah." Bridgerton replied blandly.

"We can go back to hating each other now." Kate mused, feeling rather awful at the very prospect.

"Yeah, great." Kate looked at him weirdly and then picked up her bag. She went to walk away accepting that he was probably happy to be rid of her when he spoke: "You've got a date I take it."

Kate looked back at him confused. "Sorry?"

"Well, I doubt that skirt was for the lecturer's benefit. At least I hope not."

Kate looked down at herself. "What's wrong with it?"

"Nothing." Bridgerton snapped though he was looking a bit more flustered. "But… you can see a lot of your legs."

"Oh!" Kate felt rather deflated and embarrassed. "I'm sorry…I've always been told I have nice legs."

"You do!" Bridgerton seemed almost panicked at her direction of thinking. "They're amazing. I mean, I knew they were long but I never pictured them so…" he trailed off quickly and looking angry at himself.

"You pictured my legs?" Kate felt bemused. "Why are you-"

"Well you look at me too!" Bridgerton said defensively. “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice."

Kate blushed. "Fine! I won't look at you ever again."

"I like you looking. And you are free to look. It's only fair - I look at you enough." Bridgerton looked at her and his brown eyes looked hungry. "Do you want me to stop?"

"...No."

It was fifteen minutes before Anthony and Kate broke apart to breathe in some air and that's because they thought they heard a teacher pass by the classroom. They were meant to be the mature students - it wasn't very mature to be caught making out over a desk like a pair of horny teenagers. Shame really.

"I… I have to meet my sister. I promised." Kate gasps as Anthony was sucking on her neck.

"Not a date then." He mused into her ear.

"God no. But I do need to go." Kate picked up her bag. "Can we continue this at another time?"

"Of course. Are you going to wear that skirt?" He asked eagerly.

"Text me where to meet you and I might." Kate said coyly before dashing out of the classroom.

She needn't have worried about wearing that exact skirt when she went to Anthony's apartment - she wasn't wearing it for very long.

#bridgerton #waterlilyrose #kanthony #kathony #fanfic #fanfiction #anthony bridgerton #kate sharma #anthony x kate #kate and anthony #modern au kanthony

[sxcret-garden-archive]

✧ NCT Doyoung x reader ✧ words: ~1.1k ✧ genre: fluff, some angst ✧ prompt: unrequited love that is now requited, feelings revealed with a kiss to prove it (from this list)

It hasn’t been long since you and Doyoung started dating. In fact, it’s been barely two weeks since he finally asked you out. But somehow it didn’t feel as special as you would’ve liked it to.

You’ve been secretly in love with him for ages. It was last year around the same time that you first noticed him, and your friends were quick to point out how you’re looking at him with sparkles in your eyes and how you suddenly seem very distracted all the time. You realized that you had feelings for him, but it’s not like you two were close at that time, so you had no idea how to convey that to him. You spent the following months trying to build up your courage to talk to him more, and despite how supportive your friends were of you, he ended up rejecting you when you finally told him that you liked him.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” your boyfriend asks as he finds you spacing out while sitting at the table in front of the food you’ve ordered a while ago.

“Sorry…” You pick up your chopsticks and continue eating, and though Doyoung attempts to do the same, he eventually returns to gazing at you with apparent worry in his eyes and a frown on his face.

“Is the food not good?” he guesses, though you have a hunch he already knows that’s not the problem.

“No, it’s fine… I’m just not very hungry,” you explain without looking him in the eyes. Though you’re technically not lying, you still feel bad for not being able to tell him the full truth. “I’ll go to the bathroom real quick.” You excuse yourself. 

You’re not sure why you agreed to having dinner at his place in the first place. When you’re out on a date you’re usually distracted enough not to let your past catch up with you, but now that it’s just you two here the doubts are circling in your head with no end in sight. Unsure if you’re about to cry, you pick up the pace and once you have closed the bathroom door behind you, you let out a huge sigh. Your eyes meet your reflection in the mirror above the sink, but you quickly avert your gaze. You feel ashamed for doubting his feelings, but at the same time you can’t shake the suspicion that he only asked you out out of pity because you couldn’t get over him even after he rejected you. And the more time passes that you spend in here agonizing, the more you feel like you’re ruining a perfectly fine date just because of your constant overthinking. You feel helpless, not knowing how to deal with all those overwhelming feelings, and eventually you can’t keep a few tears from slowly trickling down your cheek.

That’s when you hear a knock on the door and you quickly wipe them away with the back of your hands.

“Y/N, are you not feeling well?” you hear Doyoung’s voice from outside, and you realize how long you must’ve been gone. “Can I come in?” he eventually asks, and you don’t have it in you to tell him no, so you simply step away from the door and mutter an answer that wasn’t really meant to sound like a yes nor a no. He must’ve heard the former, and so he steps in carefully, immediately raising his eyebrows in worry as he sees the state you’re in.

“Have you been crying?” he asks, holding out his arms to offer you a hug, but not embracing you after all, since you’re not signaling him that you’re okay with it. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No, no… it’s not you,” you force yourself to answer. “It’s just… I don’t know how to say this without hurting you…” 

Doyoung freezes up, eyes open wide. He stands there in silence for a moment, but soon he cannot take the suspense anymore and he blurts out,

“Are you breaking up with me?” You dare to look at him and you find a complicated expression on his face. He seems upset and sad, but also quite shocked at his own guess, and you quickly shake your head.

“No! I would never break up with you! I mean…” you hesitate. 

“Then what? Please tell me.”

“I just…” You feel tears welling up in your eyes again at what you’re about to confess, and though you still feel bad about it, you take a deep breath and force yourself to say it. “I’m still scared that you don’t really love me… since… you rejected me before, so… it makes no sense to me that you like me now all of a sudden… and-”

“Y/N,” Doyoung cuts you off, and he meets you with a firm gaze. “It’s true that I wasn’t interested in you at first.” You let your head hang, the rejection you felt back then catching up with you all over again. “However,” he says, reaching for your hands and intertwining his fingers with yours, “my feelings changed, and I came to like you a lot.”

“Prove it,” you say, but you immediately feel like your words were too harsh, so you stutter, “I-I mean… it’s… hard for me to believe so… I’m sorry for being like this…” You’re about to drown in your self-pity, but he calls out your name again.

“Can I kiss you?” You’re caught off-guard by his request, and when you don’t answer, he adds, “I will prove to you that my feelings are sincere.” You eventually nod, as you still stare at him in disbelief. However, when he leans in, your eyelids flutter shut immediately, and as soon as his lips meet yours in a feathery light kiss, you finally feel all your doubt wash away. Once Doyoung feels you starting to move your lips in tune with him, he deepens the kiss, carefully putting one hand behind your neck to keep you close.

You part eventually, your chest filled with warmth and joy, and another tear is flowing down your face. Doyoung’s expression grows worried again as soon as he sees it.

“Why are you crying again? Did I… do something wrong again?”

“No, no,” you deny it immediately and smile at him, before throwing your arms around his upper body and hugging him tight. “I’m just so happy, that’s all.”

taglist: [click here to be added]

#nct drabbles #nct scenarios #nct 127 drabbles #nct fluff #nct angst #doyoung scenarios #doyoung imagines #nct 127 imagines #fluff #angst #req #doyoung x reader

[sswissy]

𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒚𝒐𝒖 | 𝗌𝗐𝗂𝗌𝗌 𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗎𝗅

𝒔𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒚𝒏 | ��𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 𝒆𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕𝒆𝒆𝒏

Bellamira was less than pleased having to return back to her duties after spending a few days in the Ghoul's den with Swiss. Apparently Cardi had slipped up even though Rain had made up an excellent cover story with Aether. However Sister Imperator could see right through anything so Cardi wasn't at too much fault here. Bellamira had definitely been slacking off but it was hard to focus on cleaning or assisting new sisters when Swiss was at the peak of his heat. 

Plus Swiss didn't make things easier on her by any means throughout the week. His constant need for attention or to fuck was physically exhausting but Bellamira wasn't going to complain. Being able to spend a few days with her mate was exhilarating. However what Mira wasn't too thrilled about was the constant badgering from the new sister who couldn't quite catch the hint that Swiss wasn't interested. 

It was like the women had a sixth sense when it came to finding where she was in the abbey. Even if Mira wasn't doing something on her usual schedule, she was able to sniff her out somehow. It was honestly completely infuriating to deal with especially when she was trying to rush back to the Ghoul den without being seen by her. Sister Evelyn was making Bellamira reach a breaking point which was extremely difficult but the women knew how to push all the wrong buttons. 

"If Sister Imperator doesn't switch my schedule then there might be another small fire set in the abbey." Bellamira grumbled. She had sought out Cardi for some kind of advice but the man was kicking it into high gear trying to make it to rehearsals. Their work load of paperwork had been quite intense that afternoon with upcoming ritual deadlines and countless other small things to approve for the abbey. 

"Sorella for all that is unholy, please don't set the abbey on fire-" Cardi pleaded, his eyes showing pure alarm in them. Dew would be willing to set anywhere ablaze and if Mira got a hold of him for the suggestion, they would be absolutely screwed. 

"I didn't say I'd set the entire abbey on fire, Cardi." Mira laughed it off. As much as she couldn't stand Sister Evelyn, there was no reason for violence especially if it put the abbey at risk. Just hopefully the woman's curiosities would die out so Mira could get some peace and quiet for once. 

"We're setting the abbey on fire now?" Rain had been rushing like Hell to get to rehearsals until seeing the leisurely stroll from Mira with a panicked Papa. Sister Imperator would cause absolute chaos if things ran late due to the Ghouls but less so if Papa was the reason behind it. 

"Nobody is setting anything on fire-" Cardi groaned. Sometimes having to deal with Mira and Rain's antics were too much when the stress was building up. However Bellamira would argue on that considering she never started too many problems except for teasing the hell out of Cardi as a joke. 

"Sister Bellamira! Wait up-" Mira huffed while crossing her arms. How the hell did she find her at this hour? Usually most of the clergy was eating in the hall, indulging in sin or getting ready to sleep. Rain glanced back seeing Sister Evelyn rushing down the hall to reach the three of them, swerving around a few sister's who were raising an eyebrow in question. 

"Now is the perfect time to kill me-" Bellamira groaned internally before spinning around with a fake smile. As much as it killed her to be kind to this one, she had a reputation to uphold in the clergy. Not that it was a fake persona because Mira really did love the entire abbey but ones like this really just got under her skin. 

"How can I help you, Sister Evelyn?" Mira asked. She had reached her short of breath and fanning herself to cool down. An eyebrow was raised in question from all of them wondering how far this women had gone to hunt down Mira. 

"I was wondering if I could watch rehearsals tonight?" Sister Evelyn asked. The suggestion had most definitely been a long shot considering the clergy was only able to see performances during rituals and or mass. However that didn't seem to stop Sister Evelyn from trying. 

"Unfortunately Sister Imperator likes to keep those private, right Papa?" Bellamira was practically pleading with Cardi to agree except once turning to him, he had completely vanished. Rain was still standing next to her blankly staring at the sister questioning why her interests hadn't died down yet. 

"I was wondering if I could talk to Swiss but if I can't go in, do you mind passing him a message?" Sister Evelyn pouted. Rain grimaced at the sight not fully understanding what this women had thought up in her head. Did she not understand that Bellamira was clearly Swiss' mate? He had seemed to make it pretty obvious at the last mass but yet this girl just didn't give up. 

"And that would be?" Bellamira could feel her anger growing. This hadn't been the first time Evelyn had brought him up. It was smaller things at first like curious little questions about the ghouls but maintaining focus on him. No matter how many times Mira dodge them somehow it made her even more interested. Almost as if her mate had this mysterious aura around him-

"I know a lot of the other sisters have sinned with the others ghouls and I was wondering if he would with me?" Sister Evelyn asked. Rain couldn't help but laugh at the boldness that this women just displayed in front of Swiss' own mate. He turned to look at Bellamira who looked utterly shocked but also growing in irritation. 

"You do realize you're talking about my mate, Sister Evelyn? You really think he's going to fuck you when he has me?" Bellamira hissed. It didn't take long for the other women to grow bright red with embarrassment but the determination in her eyes didn't seem to die down by any means. Which further angered Mira, how can one women be stupid when it came to plain signals? 

"Maybe he'll get bored with you-" Sister Evelyn shrugged. Rain couldn't stop laughing at this point as Bellamira took a step forward and slapped the women across the face. Frankly, Mira was surprised with herself but it could've had to do with the fact Swiss had just mated with her or being in a fog due to his heat. Nobody had ever pissed her off as much as this women did and it had finally reached a breaking point. 

Passing clergy members had hands covering their mouths in pure shock and had already begun gossiping to each other. Rain had finally stopped laughing but was hunched over trying to catch his breath. Bellamira was staring the women down who was clutching onto her cheek in shock. The satisfaction of it all was enough for Mira to feel slightly better after the buildup of stress from when Evelyn would be popping up around every corner badgering her. 

"Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take care of my mate." Mira turned on her heel as Rain followed closely behind. Sister Evelyn huffed with tears threatening to spill down her cheeks before running off back to the dorms. Both of them glanced at each other chuckling at the situation. Granted it would earn a very stern talking to from Sister Imperator but the whole ordeal was too priceless. It didn't matter if it meant double the chores or even the worse of them because hopefully this meant Sister Evelyn learned a lesson. 

taglist:

@mellie-teh-goblin-queen

@chiggennuggie

@simply-alone-and-sublime

@synestheticbisexual

@sucharide

@babydonkeyfromshrek

@sodomiserswife

@beelze-bob

@yourbeautynevereverscaredme

@bitchimightbe

@bongwaterghoul

@gabrielasilent

@nightshade333

@gaymistakeboi

@lluxbrumalis

@sodbos

@honeylla

note:

I haven't written in forever I know but my life has been quite something lately and the last thing on my mind was writing. But I'm in a very good place right now and I hope to continue writing for y'all.

#ghost ghouls #ghost bc #ghost band #nameless ghouls #the band ghost #nameless ghouls x reader #swiss ghoul #longing for you fic #swiss x reader

[stargazing15]

Can you save me - Prologue

Pairing: eventually Bradley Bradshaw x you

Summary: A hero arrived at North island to support Maverick on the Uranium plant mission preparation, underneath the though facade was a girl in desperate need of love, but can she love?

Warnings: injuries, war, mentions of ptsd

A/N: this is pure fictional, I have no knowledge of the military and I know this is all not possible in real life, it’s all for the sake of the story; this is the background story, bare with me

Enjoy!

Series masterlist - Next part

Here you were, at 32, achieved the unachievable missions, your nickname became a name with a ring to it, but you didn’t know who you were anymore, everything had changed. 

You ended up in the Special Operations Regiment after enlisting as a medic and graduating top of your class in your commando training. Soon after graduating you were sent on tours to Africa, Afghanistan and some undisclosed locations. After supporting a special forces team during a mission you got the chance to join them during training back home as one of the operators noticed your skills, both tactical and with weapons and mentioned the special forces are always in need of some good operators with a medical background. As aspected from your commando training, there were guys hating the fact that you were a woman and some accepting or not caring about it - as long as you can do the job. You became thick skinned at the hard competition and almost constant sexual remarks what apparently helped you becoming more focused on achieving your goals.

Even though you successfully finished special forces training, you got stuck as a para commando medic as higher ups still had problems with female operators. During one mission you couldn’t stay at the sidelines and got your team to safety. This didn’t go unnoticed by a CIA operative Nathan Burke. He got your file in his hands and was able to get you on a hostage rescue mission with an American RECON team. After the mission went smoothly, Burke kept you as one of his assets in this team, with the agreement of your CO. With them you earned your nickname ‘Ricochet’ as some of your targets got hit due to a calculated ricochet. The nickname, and the short version ‘Ric’, did help you with blending in with local support as it didn’t give away your identity and gender as it became known it was a pleasure working with you. Eventually you became a black ops operator for the CIA as your country didn’t mind lending you out. All the missions you had done went smoothly until the last one. 

You were sent to an undisclosed location to retrieve information about a terrorist attack and capture or kill the present subjects. Burke was as always somewhere around the compound in contact with you and your supporting team, mostly special operations. This time it was a new team with only greenhorns, the Yankee-team, you had made your concerns about them clear, but you hit a wall asking for an other team. As you send Yankee 4 and 5 to check the wide perimeter of the building, a hangar, they didn’t notice the place was wired. When you just to retrieved the data you needed, everything went horribly wrong. The team got discovered and a gunfight began, instead of backing you up and keeping the retrieved data safe, they ran off like little bitches saving only their own asses. 

During the gunfight you got hit multiple times in your right leg, but despite your injuries you were able to take out all the assailants. Before killing the the last one, he was able to activate the detonator and blew up the hangar. The moment it happened fear, anger and a sort of relieve rushed through your body. Fear and anger because you didn’t wanted to go down this way, being left behind and a part of you did not want to die yet, you didn’t know what life still had planned for you. And relieved because you had missed your parents so much ever since they died when you were 15, maybe you could be able to see them again.

Before losing consciousness you notified Burke that you had retrieved the needed data, so if you didn’t survive your body had to be removed for the data.

After getting discharged from the hospital, you got home to rehabilitate further, this was when the nightmares began. The images of the team leaving you and the building collapsing kept on playing over and over again in your head. You were thankful for Nate as he came over to stay with you for a week to help you adjust and start therapy for your ptsd. 

“Hey, did you call mr. booty call? Maybe you should let off some steam” Nate practically became your best friend, spending a lot of time together planning and executing missions. He probably knew you better than anyone else, even better than you knew yourself.

“Nope, he’s got a girlfriend before I left.” “Oh” “Yeah” 

And to make matters worse you got a call you needed to go to base, where notified you would be put on medical leave and not needed back anymore. The polite version of ‘thank you for your service and fuck off’. This completely devastated you and left you wondering ‘who am I now?’ Your country didn’t need you anymore, you did not have many friends, actually none, outside of the military, and you were still single. You had agreed with Axel, or mr. Booty call as Nate described him, that as long as the two of you were single you would sleep with each other, letting off steam, what you needed to do a lot ever since you joined the military. And your sister, you could not bother her with your problems as she had a family of her own.

This makes you wonder, how the hell did you end up, enlisted, in San Diego? 

Apparently someone dropped the word that you were available, healing but available. And an admiral liked it, he kept track of your career after you saved the life of his son during one of your missions.

Please let me know what you think

Little did you know the life you knew would make a 180 degree turn here.

Tagging: @cycbaby

#can you save me #bradley bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster #rooster x you #bradley bradshaw x you #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster imagine #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw fanfic #top gun maverick #top gun fanfic

[turboacek-blog]

The Love-Hate thing with XY

Something I’ve had thoughts on ever since I’ve seen more of the Anipoke community and it’s an interesting situation

XY seems to be a fan favorite series of all the Pokémon series

With XY generally being seen as one of the best from a more ranking critic review viewpoint (look at IMDb scores for example)

So why is there such a divide among fans?

1) It gets so much loved it’s hated

It’s a weird yet normal reaction

There are definitely some fans out there that praise it so much that it can get annoying

Some actually use it to put down other series which is definitely not good

And some it’s the only thing they mention which over-saturates it in the grand scheme of Pokémon discussion which can also be annoying when out of 15 posts 12 are XY stuff you can get sick of it

2) XY is the only or one of the few watched by some

I’m constantly surprised by the number of fans that have only watched XY or started with XY

Clearly, some of it is an age thing, when they were in that general age range XY was on TV so it was naturally their first series

But also for one reason or another the way XY was presented got a lot more people wanting to check it out, I don’t know for sure but apparently XY brought in a lot of viewers and it can’t be just the regular wave of kids watching Pokémon for the first time

I mention this as people are then using XY as their basis whether it’s the constant comparison to SM specifically the art style or that they never watched Original series to DP/BW so it has that affect that when you’re watching something older some things don’t look as good since it is older especially for younger viewers

3) Social Media

Social Media been around for awhile before XY in 2013

But around that time was also a pretty big boom as stuff like YouTube were getting to the point that people were YouTubers, Vine was alive, twitter and Facebook were still the general share thoughts platforms and etc

So when clips from this time are shared they were more widespread then before and since it’s more modern its less likely to be gone

For example it’s hard to get stuff from OS-DP as it was just the byproduct of being older

Not everything was digitized, and some of the stuff that was is now gone whether a website taken down, or copyright on YouTube video etc as not everything was just on Serebii and Bulbapedia

Where XY was at a time that was fortunate enough that stuff is hard to lose and copyright was better understood and etc so it was able to build up views and likes and etc

Like I saw a vid where someone who never watched Pokemon was reacting to Ash-Greninja like there's something there

4) Miscellaneous stuff

General stuff that some like but I don’t want to say is a main reason or is big enough to give its own point

Visuals: people loved how XY looked, the art style plus the animation and 3D camera

Approach: generally the most shonen of the Pokémon series and when stuff like shonen is a big hit amongst a similar demographic it gets love for it like Ash being more “mature”, him being more of a leader, etc

Romantic side plot: Serena's crush on Ash at least from what I noticed has its own community with shipping, and I can see it bringing in a lot of girl viewers as romance is a common drawing point for young girls plus it’s a general thing people can like

Preferences: some might just generally like characters like Alain over a character like Paul, which I think is just a preference thing than an objective thing, and this applies to everything naturally

5) Least amount of Problems

I have my personal thoughts on XY, some positive some negative

But I can say from a more objective/critics point of view XY has the least problems of any series

XY consistently looked great, had what feels like the least amount of “filler” episodes, had at least solid arcs for Ash Clemont Serena and Bonnie, decent rivals, a supporting cast, etc

As even though I don’t think Sun and Moon had problems it definitely got backlash from the art style change alone let alone the formula change

BW was a soft reboot so it had a negative response from existing fans

JN had production issues that had them have recaps and such plus the co-lead with Goh stuff

So when you can point to negatives for other series that don’t really apply to XY it’s easy to hold it higher

It’s like saying they all have 5 positives but XY has like 1 negative while the others have 3+ negatives. It doesn’t matter about the positives as the negatives weigh them down more

Like even though it has its weaker points if I have to grade it XY doesn’t go below a 5/10 in anything (plot, character, pacing, etc) where you can say some series do fall below that line

Like I personally don’t care for the Team Flare Arc after the league but I wouldn’t say it was bad in the slightest

So my conclusion?

XY was definitely the right place-right time series

The social media boom, plus the general improvements XY made from BW gave it a lot of fans

So now whether they think it genuinely or they just have nostalgia for it, have XY rated higher and like to talk about it regardless of how much it’s already been discussed

It’s similar to how I remember Original Series

Doesn’t matter what May, Dawn, Paul, etc would do people would still bring up Misty Gary Charizard and etc

And it’s the same with XY, doesn’t matter what the Alola Gang, Iris, Cilan, Goh, or Chloe, they get compared to Clemont Bonnie, Serena, etc, and even Ash gets compared to his XY version

But since XY is more recent and for the most part OS fans aren’t online like that they get the status of being the most vocal and etc

As someone who was older when XY came out and wasn’t around for all the YouTube and etc

They do hype up XY a little too much

But at the same time, I do get the dislike or neutralism for SM and JN, and BW

As people can not like certain aspects of XY but none really got or deserve the backlash the others did so they look better as a result of not having that issue

As if hypothetically all Pokémon series in a vacuum are 7/10’s

Things like BW’s soft reboot make it a 5/10 to those fans for example and this can be applied to all series even XY but if others have more visible issues then they get bogged down more which results in making XY look better

To XY’s credit is a feat in itself but having the least number of issues doesn’t mean any issues which are where a lot of anti’s and people that just get tired of it come from as some do genuinely think XY is perfect

Overall XY is a solid series it came out at the right time when everything surrounding it was more controversial and it was able to explode in popularity thanks to the internet

Both sides are justified as XY has its good points but the fact that it’s seemingly the most discussed and regarded series does seem a bit excessive and I sympathize with those that don’t like it for that or just don’t like that series in general

#pokemon xy #pokemon xyz #pokemon #anipoke #pokemon anime #ash ketchum #pokeani #pokémon bonnie #clemont pokemon #serena pokemon #pokemon thoughts #pokemon discussion

[firstdivisiongirl]

Hello! I have liked your latest posts a lot and would like to get a TR matchup if you can, please.

About me:

I'm a cis woman, INTP, demisexual. I am the kind of person that tends to appear as kind of a wall flower at first. In social settings I try to keep to myself and don't really interact unless I'm directly addressed. With strangers I might seem chatty and outgoing, but in reality I just wouldn't know what to do if things got quiet. I have an almost pathological impulse to be helpful and useful, and go the extra mile to not be annoying or depend on others. I always try to not voice an opinion unless I have checked the facts or am certain it's a completelysubjective matter and I'm not in the wrong. I'm the kind of person who gets scolded for saying sorry too much and would say "sorry, I won't do it again". I'm generally anxious in unfamiliar situations because I can't read a room to save my life and don't really get subtext 🤷🏻‍♀️

When I'm comfortable with someone I relax and become my real self instead of that carefully built façade. I get more quiet, self assured and aware of my needs. I get comfortable with silence and I'm less afraid to seem ignorant or confused. I am a kinda stereotypical nerd of great book smarts, awful street smarts.

I have a history of mental health issues and though I am well and more in touch with my emotions than ever, I still get my periods of seasonal depression. I have been accused of being a perfectionist and inflexible, both with others and myself. I am generally pessimistic and have always had a vwry low self esteem, as well as body image issues. Though it hasn't always been the case, now I am overweight. I also suffered bullying for a very long time and it has made me kind of distrusting but also wanting a connection, therefore trusting too quickly and letting people take advantage of me. Often. For this reason (and, as stated above, because I can't really tell genuine interest from general niceness or mockery, people are really confusing and frustrating) I have never had a romantic partner.

My interests are generally geeky or nerdy. I spend most of my free time playing videogames, painting or drawing, and with various arts and crafts, mainly cosplay (I prefer the making part, sewing but especially prop building. I own lots of power tools and higly toxic adhesives and resins lol)

I also like going to a cafe to read, paint or study almost every other day. My favourite genres are sci fi and horror.

My interests are varied buy I tend to hyperfixate on whichever is my current obsession, and delve deep into anything it has to offer, making my own theories which I love to share with anyone who will listen.

The love language I prefere recieving is quality time, and I tend to do gift giving or acts or service.

I usually dress in all black, jeans, boots and a graphic tee almpst every day. I have died hair and an "extreme" haircut (like Draken, but my sides are not totally shaved, just really short). I also wear little to no makeup but several earrings in the shape of claws, chains, several rings, etc. My style has been described as "badass", "scary" or "weird", depending on who you ask.

What I like:

I tend to get overjoyed that anyone would like me so I wil give a chance to almost anyone. I'm not very picky but I gravitate towards men who have a more "clean" look (yk, the kind of people that make you think "this person has to smell good"). Since I like trying out many new things I also prefer someone who will lead me out of my comfort zone but not push me out of it, as well as do the same for me and try things I love.

I am quite independent and low maintenance so I do better with people who don't need to be in constant touch with me, or have no problem with not being in touch for a day even if there is no apparent reason.

Sorry for the loooong ask, I hope you will find the time and inspiration to find me a match!

TYSM for your time 🥰

Hi there. Your ask isn’t too long at all. I think you sound pretty awesome, so love yourself. Whatever people say about you, is just them being feeling like they have to bring others down to feel great. Don’t listen to them. I think I found a great matchup for you. I hope you like your perfect match!

You Got…

Shinichiro Sano!!!

He’d like how low maintenance you are. Sometimes he gets busy with the shop or gang or siblings and having you be okay puts his mind at ease.

Would like your style, especially the little to no makeup. He seems like the guy who hates “fake girl”.

Would tell you every day how much he loves you and thinks you are perfect in every way.

Both of you have almost no experience so you two can learn and grow together!

He’s up for anything!

He’d clean up for you!

I believe that he’d ask to use some of your drawings to use as decals on his bikes.

Would listen to you talk for hours about anything you like!

Would do the talking and let you be you.

Motorcycle ride dates at night and then taking you to watch the sunset and maybe sketch it too.

#first division girl #tokyo revengers #tokyo rev #tokyo revengers matchup #tokyo revengers matchups #tokyo rev matchup #tr matchups #tr matchup #character matchup

[obsidiancreates]

Heart of Gold (Pushed Too Far)

Raph hates when Leo goes solo. It's constant, it's always stressful, it deprives the whole team of a valuable member. Sure, Raph's been known to try the solo thing himself as well, but never in the way Leo does.

When Donnie tries it, though, that's always an interesting time. Because Donnie is always almost hyper-competent on his own... until he isn't.

He goes to save April's dad all on his own, and almost succeeds except for an unexpected space assassin. He takes up finding a cure for mutagen mutations all by himself, and actually manages it despite all the setbacks. He helps April and Casey take down the mutagen worms from Dimension X, which may not be entirely solo but is still him being the only of his brothers on the scene.

Now he's a quiet, vengeful shadow, having somehow made it up to the roof of Don Vizioso's place without even his own team realizing he'd slipped away and taking out the guards with one move.

It's pretty impressive, honestly.

Leo looks worried. He pulls out his T-Phone and, despite his earlier insistences of stealth, shouts into it. "Donatello, what are you doing?"

Donnie's voice comes out of the T-Phone speaker sharp and tense. "I'm getting that heart and putting an end to Vizioso, for good!"

Donnie almost sounds like Raph, in a way. As much as Raph admires Donnie's guts right now... it's a little concerning.

"Whatever is between you and the Don doesn't matter!" Oh, that's a mistake. If it was Raph, that'd just make him more determined to do the thing he's set out to do. "You're jeopardizing the mission!"

Again, the voice that comes through the speaker is sharp and angry. "Oh come on, look at all the anti-mutant weapons he's built! We need to put a stop to this, and we need to do it now! Donnie out!"

He's got a good point, Raph thinks. Fighting other mutants and aliens and and ninjas demons, that's one thing. Fighting humans with weapons made specifically to kill not just who they are, but what they are? That's different. That's sicker. There's no personal vendetta, no perceived slights, no old rivalry to put a target on their backs.

It's just their general existence.

"DONNIE!" Great stealth there, Leo. Raph's pretty sure they heard him all the way in Maine.

"Uh, guys? Stealth isn't gonna matter!" That ship has long sailed, but before Raph can tell April that he sees what she means.

BeeBop and Rocksteady, again. So it turns into a shoot out. And then that Demon shows up, and it gets even worse.

"I'll back up Donnie!" Leo shouts. "Whatever you do, get that s-"

"Hey, no way!" Raph pulls out his sai and scowls at Leo. "You're not using this to pull the solo act again! I'll go back up Donnie, you figure out that seal thing!"

"What?! Raph, I'm the leader and-"

"And you're the one Splinter spent the most time doing spiritual training with! If anyone can figure out that seal, it's you!"

Leo opens his mouth to argue, but he knows he can't. Donnie may be the smart one, but Raph's always been the practical one. ... When his head is clear. And right now, it is.

Biggest problem is the demon. Leaders face the biggest problems.

"Fine. Just- keep him from doing anything stupid!" Leo looks down at the fight below. "I-I don't like the headspace he's in, the way he's talking. Keep him grounded."

Raph rolls his eyes. So Donnie wants a little revenge. He's smart, and thinking clearly enough as far as Raph can tell. It's not that big a deal.

Donnie knows not to take it too far.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Okay, maybe Donnie's not as clear-headed as Raph had thought. But almost falling off a building and cracking your shell if not for a tackle-save by your brother will do that to you. Just like BeeBop calling you "turt" will. Boy, did that make Raph want to pin BeeBop's togue to the wall with a shuriken.

Made Donnie feel the same, apparently, because he hit BeeBop harder than Raph's seen him hit anyone before, except in literal life-or-death situations.

He's focused. Sometimes you forget to pull your punches when you're focused. It happens.

Now, as they take out the two guards in the hallway, Raph's starting to get a little worried too. Because he's pretty sure Donnie didn't need to squeeze that guy's neck that hard to knock him out.

"So what're we thinking for getting the heart?" Raph whispers roughly, elbowing a guard who opens the door behind him without even looking. "Give Vizioso a little lesson first, or after?"

"In the spirit of multitasking, I think we can do both at once," Donnie whispers back. He jolts a little when Raph throws the unconscious guy's gun at the guard sneaking up behind him, temporarily wiping the scowl off his face.

"Sounds good to me," Raph whispers back with a grin.

Donnie doesn't smile. "At least you get it."

"Eh, Leo's a spoilsport sometimes. A little butt-kicking revenge never hurt anyone. ... Well, never hurt anyone metaphorically."

"Yeah. Sure." Raph goes first down the hallway, and Donnie follows him.

Raph hopes things are going as smoothly outside as they are for him and Donnie.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So smoothly is an exaggeration once they're actually inside the room, but it could be worse. Vizioso seems content letting his thugs do the work for him, so at least it's a two-on-two fight.

And they're not just even in number, but ferocity. While Raph manages to stab his sai into the twin he's fighting knee, Donnie hits the other one in the chest with his bo so hard Raph hears the distinct crack of a broken rib, and another when the blow makes the man slam against the wall.

And then Donnie grabs Vizioso, and Raph smirks. See, Leo? A little revenge to clear out the system. This guy tried to dissect Donnie, so a little beatdown isn't exactly unearned.

Until Donnie releases the blade from the tip of the bo.

"This is the end for you, Vizioso!"

It doesn't seem like he's doing it just to intimidate.

"Donnie, a little help here!" Raph is trying to shove the remaining twin into the wall. Donnie doesn't seem to hear him. He just slams Vizioso against the wall and puts the bade right to Vizioso's face.

Oh, sewer apples. Now Raph gets why Leo was worried.

"Donnie, quit screwing around and help me!" Raph flips the twin over his shoulder. Donnie remains laser-focused, the way he was in the lab when making retromutagen, the way he is when upgrading the Shellraizer, the way he does when April is in danger.

"This is the end," he growls. It doesn't even sound like him.

Donnie must hear it too, because suddenly he gasps. He gasps and jerks away from his own reflection like it hurt to look at.

"Because-" Raph sees it, just for a second. Something he's so very familiar with. An inner struggle, trying to control the anger before it controls you.

He suddenly wishes he'd taught his brothers some of the techniques Splinter taught him.

That second feels eternal, with Donnie hesitating and looking away from Vizioso with his eyes shut tight.

And then Donnie looks back up. "Because we're taking the heart, and you're going to jail!" He slams Vizioso to the ground, still harder than he needs to, but it's not a blade through the face so Raph hopes Vizioso is grateful.

"Nice job, Donnie." Raph slings an arm around his brother, grinning at him. "And you didn't even have anger management with m-"

The next thing Raph knows is the floor.

His head spins and his side burns. He groans, his vision swimming. He sees one of Vizioso's twin lackey's holding something, something big and glowing at one end, and sees Vizioso going to grab the heart Raph dropped-

And then he sees Red.

Everywhere.

He feels himself be lifted up, two arms working to support him. He hears a shaking, strained voice calling his name.

He tries to turn to look, because- because there's a metallic smell and that means-

"Please don't look." The voice trembles so much the words are almost nonsense. "Please don't look at it."

"D-Donnie?" Raph looks up.

There's dark blotches on Donnie's mask. Face. Everywhere.

His eyes are wide. Terrified. Horrified.

They start making their way back to the hallway. "Donnie, stop. Did- did you-"

"Don't tell the others," Donnie croaks. "Please. You went down and-"

Raph realizes that his brother's hand is pressed to his burning side, with a pressure level Raph's very familiar with. Trying to stop the bleeding.

"You'll be okay," Donnie breathes. "He can't hurt us anymore."

The steadiness of Donnie's arms should be comforting Raph right now.

He thinks back to the red.

"You... need to get cleaned up," Raph grunts. "If you... don't want them to know." He pushes away from Donnie, putting his own hand over his wound. "And the... the body."

Donnie's eyes somehow widen even more. "Raph-"

"Hey." Raph puts his free hand on Donnie's shoulder. "I know. The others might not get it. But- hhhn-" He sucks in a breath, which unfortunately only hurts more. "But I do," he breathes out. "You gave him a chance."

"... I..."

"We'll hide it," Raph pulls one of the masks off of the still unconscious guards in the hallway and readjusts his belt, tightening it to press the mask to the wound with as much pressure as possible. He breathes out slowly. "They don't have to know."

Donnie stares dumbfounded at Raph. Raph grabs another mask, and uses it to wipe some blood off of Donnie's face. "Come on. The others won't be fighting that demon forever. Leo's bound to figure out how to use that seal any minute now."

"O-okay." Donnie takes the mask out of Raph's hands. Now, the unsettling steadiness of his arms is fading, and Donnie begins to shake. "Do... do you think this is how Leo felt? After Shredder?"

Raph sucks in a breath. That's what Leo meant.

He saw it. He recognized it. From himself.

And thanks to Raph, he wasn't here to prevent Donnie from doing the same thing.

"I don't know, Donnie."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They have the heart. It's being kept in a junk drawer in the garage.

No-one wanted it to be where they could see it, and no-one wanted to give it the honor of a special containment.

Leo had figured out the seal. He sent that demon back to wherever it was truly from, we ith an extra command for it to stay there forever.

None of them had found Donnie when it was all over. Raph just stumbled out of the building, a bleeding wound in his side and the heart in his hands.

He said Donnie took off to get better medical supplies, and Vizioso got away.

When Donnie showed up with the Shellraizer, he didn't have his bo with him, and he was wearing his backup mask. He said his usual one got torn in the fight.

Later that night, when everyone else was asleep, Raph helped Donnie wash his mask and his staff, steady hands working with trembling ones to clear all the red out of the fabric and wood.

#tmnt 2k12 #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtles 2012 #tmnt donnie #tmnt donatello #tmnt raph 2012 #tmnt raphael #tmnt donnie 2012 #angst #blood tw #stabbing tw #shooting tw #tmnt fanfiction #tmnt fic

[tired-gay-wreck9]

Jane Crocker: she is literally the best character best-written character just listen to me

Jane Crocker is more than just a happy-go-lucky 'mom-friend'. In an internet telephone game, we've distorted her character into something that vaguely resembles her actual self. But I, the well-endowed (in more ways than one) am fully prepared to deconstruct her. i am so smat

CW: I talk about sexual assault and misogyny

summers back, ill likely be posting more too :D

Let's start out with the basics, the universal constants of Jane in every interpretation of her, the shit spoon-feed to us: in other words, the first dimension of a character. I'm talking about her appearance and traits.

She's cheery but has a short temper, loves pranks and baking, and was raised in arguably the most constructive setting. Her feet are stuck in the hardened concrete of her morals, beliefs, and view of the world.

She meets every claim with distrust until hard evidence is apparent unless the claim was something she was raised in. Ideas of time travel, the world ending and conspiracies are shot down while she embraces her role as the future Betty-Crocker heiress. Even her hobbies, baking and sleuthing, come from her dad.

She plays the support role, listening to her friends' problems and trying her best to empathize even when it hurts her.

Now that we have that base, we can build on it. Hussie chose to expand on her character in two ways: Trickster Mode and Crockertier.

Trickster Mode is ultimately self-serving; the objective is to have fun and let go. The Alpha Kids (sans Dirk) bounced off the walls in euphoria, minds reduced to love, sex, and fun. Jane tries to resist the lollipop at first but gives in. Previously, she tried to shove down her feelings for Jake but gave in once she reached Trickster Mode. Even though she's ecstatic, this is her breaking point. It's also where everything she wants comes to light. Her empathy and desire to please others are moot.

She ignores Jake's fear, uneasiness, and desire to not fuck nasty and make babies and tricksters him. All after she kicks him in the balls so hard his eyes fall off and he falls off a cliff. Her empathy, one of her most defining characteristics is gone. Don't get me wrong, tricksterization isn't an empathy-remover. It's a dopamine rush that removes any obstacles one might have in front of short-term happiness.

Jane's empathy was holding her back. One of her most positive traits is also her greatest foil. We also see some of her other character traits. Trickster mode doesn't implant desires. Trickster mode doesn't make people want things they wouldn't normally want. Roxy puts it better than I do.

"TG: sure you were trippin balls on a cherub pop TG: but that really just enabled you to do what you really wanted to do deep down "

She pushed her friends to do something they didn't want in a self-centered fuckfest. Specifically, sexual things.

One could make the argument that it was only her lack of empathy during trickster mode that caused her to do be so pushy, that it was nothing but a self-centered blunder in the same way that Jane's infamous comment on Roxy's alcoholism. One could not make this argument with Crockertier in mind.

If you need a refresher, while mind controlled by The Condesce (AKA Crockertier'd), Jane kidnapped Jake for the purpose of having babies with him (sexy sex), regardless of the fact that he's shitting himself at the idea. This wasn't her just being a cold, emotionless robot. Crockertier Jane was fully capable of feeling empathy. Her death was caused because she let her guard down while grieving Roxy. This was also a desire that cropped up multiple times. She was also Crockertier'd, AKA controlled by the Condece, an alien who lived in a culture where people hate-fucked all the time. Jane was pissed at a friend she wanted to bang. Shit happens.

Please keep in mind that while her empathy was still present in her Crockertier state, it was considerably dimmed. She had nothing against fighting her friends and killing innocents. Please also keep in mind that she still wants to do this. She has forced Jake into a sexual situation he did not want multiple times.

To sum it up, Jane's empathy is the only thing keeping her from doing shit to Jake. Her empathy is a powerful and prominent characteristic, but she still wants to "have babies" with Jake. She doesn't care that he's shitting himself at the idea. If there was an AU where Jane was not empathetic and more confident in her herself, then her other morals would not get in the way of her sexually assaulting Jake, or being an asshole. But that is not Jane. Normal-Jane cares deeply for other people and would never do what she did in Trickster Mode (FYI i have not read the epilogues and do not plan to). She would never do something like that normally but is still a dim desire.

(Also also note that you can interpret her character in whatever way you want. Throw my interpretation in that poor Chinese dude's soup or print it out and hang it on your wall. If you read this and decide that Jane is a shitty person, go the fuck ahead. If you read this and think that she's cool, do that too.)

Boom. Full understanding of her conflicting traits. Second dimension unlocked. Cowa-fucking-bunga, dudes.

But why is Jane? Why does she like baking and hot fish ladies? Why does she care so much about others' emotions? The answer is actually kinda boring.

If we compare her childhood to the other characters, it was a lot safer and kinder. She had a good relationship with her dad and never had to face any hint of insecurity about her skills or where she'd end up. She was a future CEO, for cock's sake. Even John, our patron spoiled kid, had a distant father figure who he hated.

Jane was affected by how she was raised just as much as every other character was. She likes baking and sleuthing. Her dad was a private investigator and she was the heir to a pastry company. She's hesitant to accept things that challenge her environment because her personality revolves around it.

One thing that separates her from most of the cast is that she was raised in a standard American Earth home. And she reflected the values of Earth. America says that if you're a woman you must be a mother. Jane practically mothers her friends (as best she can, not well because she is not a mother and is in fact sixteen). In trickster mode, she never said she wanted to sex her male friends up. She said that she wanted to have babies with them.

I still think her desire to get fucking and sucking significantly drove her actions and she censored them because that's not how women in America are supposed to act. Babies were, again, also a factor because of misogyny.

She's heir to a capitalist company that plans to destroy the environment for personal gain. She abstains from swearing like a conservative. She speaks like she's in the 1950s, a time when the American Dream was first introduced and was booming.

Her values work around it. Subconsciously, of course. She's not a crazy alt-right loser. She believes in the patriarchy and that women need to make babies. She puts herself down to help Jake because she believes that is her role as a woman. When Dirk is suggested to be "a homosexual" she acts defensive, like it's an insult - almost as if somewhere deep in her psyche she isn't too fond of gay people. I don't think she's even aware that she's not a good ally. Firstly, she never says that she thinks gay people are gross as if that's a core way she views the world, and a lot of biases are subconscious.

Now I think we can define the second and third dimensions of her character.

Her second dimension is being raised in a conservative environment that was still supportive (if you ignore the Betty Crocker mind control tiara). She's naive because of it. She has republican values and southern hospitality (despite being in fucking Washington) because of it.

Her second dimension is also how she grows past these traits. She grows past her naïveté and skepticism towards things that contrast with her upbringing after being thrust into SBURB, because that world isn't there anymore. She learns to put herself first, or at least somewhere up from last after she realizes that people will treat her like shit if she doesn't stop them.

Dimension three is her morals.

I've already said them, but I can also arrange them nicely.

Jane would never say things like gayness and other things like that are lesser. She would disagree shit like conversion therapy. Still, she still views being gay as something below everyone else. Not by much, but enough to be noticeable. She's probably slightly more uncomfortable with gay relationships than straight ones.

She's a capitalist. I don't need to back this one up. She would see it as immoral to be lazy.

Jane has the subconscious bias that women have to be subservient to men and have babies. She would view it as immoral for her to act towards Dirk and Jake as they act towards her, and to not have kids. Her conversations with Roxy, especially in the beginning of the comic, are much less polite. She's not rude, but she doesn't skirt around saying things that aren't positive (or she might? I've definitely forgotten some of those pesterlogs) around roxy.

She's very altruistic. She views putting others before herself as the moral thing to do. This changes over time, and is her main character development thing.

Haha and please dont use this as actual definitions of one two and three dimensional characters, im not sure what I used is the correct terminology. and please please please if you disagree abt Jane please let me know, I really want to further this discussion!!

#homestuck #jane crocker #jane homestuck #alpha kids #homestuck analysis #trickster mode #crockertier #literary analysis #oooh fancy words

[skaruresonic]

Metal definitely suffers from OVA nostalgia when Heroes came out, though there are some things

-Chaotix manual (Japan) notes that Eggman transfers Metal's AI to new builds. Incidentally, the term "Hyper Metal Sonic" didn't originate from OVA: it came from Chaotix

Though fans mistakenly interpreted too literally (Kai means upgrade or rev. here) for the demonic transformation

This would, if assumed to repeat, mean Metal has to deal with constant failure, and being aware of such, as well as potentially "death"

-In Adventure Metal noticeably is in a tube in the same room Gamma is activated

While it doesn't do anything in stasis, the development of the E Series in the franchise is actually a huge deal; these are newly mass produced robots with utility already eclipsing Metal's, alongside the upper sentience. For once, competition for Metal, and it languishing to nothing if it accepted that. We already see Gamma come to terms with Eggman's narcissism and simple acceptance of scrapping "defective" models for newer builds, despite false praise earlier

-Heroes this is similarly mirrored for Omega. Omega was well aware it was abandoned as guard, and was aware of later E-2000 robots in Egg Fleet. The idea of Eggman just dumping/rejecting earlier bots for newer ones would be daunting to sentient bots. For Omega, this led to anger at its creator, though thanks to Rouge, used incidentally for the heroes

Feelings of inferiority wouldn't even be just to Sonic for Metal at this point...it'd be to Eggman as well

I didn't know that. That's really interesting to think about.

This would, if assumed to repeat, mean Metal has to deal with constant failure, and being aware of such, as well as potentially "death."

I mean... maybe yes, maybe no. This is where I feel the waters start to get muddy and we wander more into conjecture-ish territory.

It would mostly depend on how much sentience we can assign Metal at any given time; Eggman recovers the CPU, but does he wipe it before he upgrades it? Like is it the robot form of recovering the black box following a plane crash? Stuff like that.

In some games, he shows hints of sentience but not much more, which would explain the differences between him and the E-series. In Heroes he's a full-blown person with emoshuns, while in Rivals 2, he's a silent machine with the barest hints of sentience sprinkled here and there. And in TSR he's just. A walking toaster. So.

Again, the key word is "assumption." Metal has that weird line in the Overlord fight about how he's "no longer afraid of anything," so we have to assume he once felt fear; the most important questions become when, what, and how?

Did he learn to fear death after his defeat in CD? So then, why would he fear it if he knows Eggman can revive him at any time? That would imply he fears Eggman as well, which may be an interesting idea, true. But again, because none of the games hint at anything of the sort, it's pure conjecture on my part.

Also, now that I'm thinking about it: does this imply Chaotix takes place after Sonic 4: Episode Metal? It has to, since the Chaotix manual implies Eggman recovered Metal's CPUs after "a" previous confrontation with Sonic (doesn't have to be the Stardust Speedway race), and... Well. Eggman revived the Metal he abandoned on Little Planet with a huge electric shock.

---

For once, competition for Metal, and it languishing to nothing if it accepted that. We already see Gamma come to terms with Eggman's narcissism and simple acceptance of scrapping "defective" models for newer builds, despite false praise earlier

As much as I hate to cite the Encyclospeedia as a source, if his character entry in the Encyclospeedia is anything to go by, apparently Metal runs "fuzzy logic operations," which allegedly means he runs protocols roughly using the same problem-solving processes as a human being.

However, I have my doubts about that since he seems to operate pretty binarily in the games. His transformation into Neo Metal in Heroes seemed to have begun as an act of pragmatism, then morphed into some form of megalomania along the way. Metal's line of thinking may have been something along the lines of, "I cannot defeat Sonic in base form; therefore I will change it by copying data which will allow me to transform myself." Sounds simple enough.

Heroes is weird, however, because while it almost sort-of implies an existential crisis, that part is mostly obfuscated by megalomania, with all of his talk of becoming the "ultimate overlord" of a "robot kingdom." Absolute power corrupts absolutely and all that. While he transformed himself for the express purpose of defeating Sonic, we don't really know when or how he made the leap from "defeat Sonic" to "take over the world."

It's not that the existential crisis stuff isn't there, per se; just that it's not Metal's main focus.

I have to agree with @beevean here and say probably the one (1) cool idea IDW put forth wrt Metal's character was that he copied Eggman's genius in his search to find his creator. I felt like that idea really had the potential to go somewhere, explore the paradox of Metal's existence as an Eggman robot created to outclass Sonic. Or at the very least, present a solid threat: can you imagine a version of Metal that matches Sonic's speed and Eggman's genius?

---

-Heroes this is similarly mirrored for Omega. Omega was well aware it was abandoned as guard, and was aware of later E-2000 robots in Egg Fleet. The idea of Eggman just dumping/rejecting earlier bots for newer ones would be daunting to sentient bots.

I feel like Metal's reaction to seeing Omega for the first time runs more along the lines of bemusement than jealousy tbh:

He exclaims "You must be Omega!" in a surprised tone before remembering to stay in-character. I'm guessing it's because he wasn't counting on Omega ever being released.

#asks

[artist-issues]

Happy New Year, hi, it's me again! I have a pretty long ask for you and there is no pressure; I've just been thinking about the Build a Problem musical again.

I think I realized that perhaps I was confusing the idea of having Build a Problem's Emma recognize her own worth with her finding her answer in self-love. She does not, in fact, do that; she learns that because she has worth outside of others (which isn't to say that it comes from her), she can put her relationships in the proper place and even become willing to surrender them for the good of the other. I suppose now the question is how to make that delineation clearer? I'm not entirely sure how much I did wrong, but I suppose Elaine's dialogue has problematic elements.

"But anyway, you’re going to have to learn how to be by yourself. It’s not that we won’t support you–we will–it’s that you’re the constant in your life and we can’t be. And yes, it’s hard, but then you’ll remember you matter in and of yourself, even without someone else to remind you."

"You're the constant"?! HAHA NO. WE MOST DECIDEDLY ARE NOT. "You matter in and of yourself"?! DANGEROUSLY close to "your worth is not assigned and is for yourself." I'll have to figure out how best to fix that. Putting that aside, I think Emma's lesson is most apparent during her apology, which demonstrates a mentality of "if you love something, set it free; if it doesn't come back, it was never yours to begin with."

Also, I've seen you comment on the rise of "nothing is evil, just misunderstood" and how dangerous that can be. I do worry a bit regarding Celeste's storyline as to how I'm portraying that and where my responsibilities lie. (Even though I'm a moral absolutist, I do have a strong belief in understanding the nuance of where people come from so as to guide them to what is right. That might make me a bad absolutist, or it might...I'm not sure.) She's rather aggressive; on one instance, she pins a panicked Emma to a wall and screams at her for trying too hard to save her. I like the idea of her being too reactive and I don't really wish to tone her down! I do, however, fear that this might be irresponsible of me because I also want her and Emma to reconcile. I am not trying to encourage my audience to continue relationships with people who are outright harmful--far from it. Her ability to resume her friendship with Emma is specifically out of her own repentance and out of Emma's willingness to provide this second chance. (This contrasts Celeste's relationship with Thomas, which has to end because neither of those elements are present.) And we do see Celeste feel regret: it leads her to try and provoke Emma into leaving (this is obviously not a healthy response, but it at least serves to establish her regret), and then they sing a duet about it. It's a very fine line to walk; is there anything I should be examining to make sure I'm not going along the lines of "nothing is evil, just misunderstood"? Do I need to tone Celeste down to facilitate this?

(While we're at it, her relationship with Theo is something that warrants examination like this. He unwittingly drinks alcohol that's been disguised from authorities in an innocent-seeming bottle and winds up kissing her on impulse. They're both seen feeling guilty afterwards, though time constraints prevent a detailed examination and she states in the resulting song that she "felt more than [she] care[s] to admit." I'm not sympathetic to this and it is most certainly wrong. When we next hear directly from Theo, though, he blames himself for the more distant consequence of Thomas hurting her for it, and that's not exactly reasonable. So this is yet another fine line because while that was his greatest error and a rather weighty one at that, it was his only major one. He's otherwise characterized as very gentle, but I want his actions treated with the weight they deserve. How can I best do that? Does he need to be somehow less gentle for it to come through?)

TL;DR: Emma might have learned about her own worth as opposed to finding her answer in self-love, and this understanding of her worth enables her to let go and do the loving thing rather than act out of fear. Celeste might be too volatile and I'm confident that her actions get the weight they deserve, but I'm afraid of being irresponsible by bringing her back to Emma, even though I try to make clear that this is only possible because of sincere repentance and an offered second chance. Theo's actions might not be given the full weight they deserve because we don't see enough of him after the fact and by the time we see him again, he's swung so far in the opposite direction of loathing himself that I feel like audiences are likely to let that reaction overrule the problems with his original action. And as always, thank you for your amazing work with everything! You are wonderful and your blog is wonderful and I pray that God will bless you throughout the coming year and always!

I think I might need to read the whole musical before I could give a super-accurate rundown of the questions you’re talking about 😅 but I’ll try anyway because you were thoughtful enough to take the time to write this much out and ask me!

I think you have your head on straight with all these questions, which is really good.

For example, I think you’re totally correct about what sounds like Celeste and Emma’s reconciliation. That’s the thing; the Bible teaches that while there can be forgiveness without repentance between humans, there can’t be restored relationship or reconciliation unless both parties are willing to repent of wrongs committed and forgive the other person.

So then the question “is Celeste’s wrongdoing being treated irresponsibly if she gets back to being friends with Emma?” has a good foundation. But it seems like you’re assuming that if someone who does something wrong reconciles with the person they hurt, then the wrongdoing doesn’t seem so wrong. But that’s not true at all—you just have to show the horrible consequences of her actions convincingly during the conviction part (the moment where Celeste realizes her wrongdoing), then fix the relationship with her repentance.

I mean, take Anna and Elsa (a sister-hurting-sister scenario seems like the best one to use as a template here?) Elsa hits Anna in the heart with her ice (literally, but during a scene where she’s figuratively pushing Anna away, which has been the main source of hurt in their whole relationship.) That was Elsa’s wrongdoing. Elsa realizes how bad that was, how wrong she was, when Anna freezes in front of her. That scene is great because it shows Elsa completely devastated by what she’s done. She’s sobbing and clinging to Anna—which is important, because for the entire movie Elsa has been doing the opposite of clinging. She’s been pushing away. So right there, you see the beginnings of ‘repentance.” She caused a hurt, she sees that the hurt is bad, and she’s taking an action that is the opposite of the hurt she caused.

But remember, Anna is also, in that moment, showing Elsa unconditional, self-sacrificial love. Elsa pushed Anna away with devastating, life-threatening consequences. Because of Elsa, Anna had her heart not only frozen, but broken. And Elsa never once did anything that would make Anna believe she would change, or stop pushing her away. Yet. Anna still chose to save her, knowing it would mean dying. Elsa did nothing to deserve it. Elsa did not indicate to Anna that Anna’s act of good will would change her. Anna simply did it with no thought of gain, with no hope of a better relationship afterward, because she loves Elsa regardless of the hurt caused.

It is important that Elsa sees that. Because seeing unconditional love is often what forces humans to realize the weight of their wrongdoing. Because unconditional love is so the opposite of whatever they did wrong. So it often unlocks the wrongdoer’s ability to repent.

Basically, what I’m saying is, as long as you show not only the audience, but Celeste herself, the horrible consequences of her wrongdoing and the hurt that it caused, and show it convincingly, (which often takes the wrongdoer realizing the unconditional love or innocence of the person they hurt,) then you won’t need to worry about whether or not that wrongdoing was considered “absolutely evil.”

Of course Elsa pushing Anna away and freezing her heart was the wrong thing to do. Anna’s frozen now. Elsa can’t do anything to undo what she’s done. It’s too late for her to be clinging to Anna.

and THEN

like a beautiful sunrise bursting through clouds

You show how love is stronger than evil. You show how self-sacrifice is love. You show how, when both people are repentant and willing to forgive because of that self-sacrificial love, the wrongdoing isn’t stronger than the love.

After all, that’s the whole point of showing evil—to defeat it. Sometimes you defeat it by punishing the unrepentant wrongdoer. Sometimes you defeat it’s effect by making the wrongdoer repentant. But either way, the evil isn’t stronger than the good.

Moving on

I don’t think it sounds like Theo needs to be less gentle for the weight of his actions to come through. I think his gentleness actually could highlight how wrong his actions were. Because if he’s got feelings under the surface of gentleness, which alcohol caused him to act on, then that puts the gentle surface in a less-moral light. Kissing her on an alcohol-influenced basis wasn’t the first thing he did wrong. The first thing he did wrong was let those feelings he had for Emma stay alive deep down inside him, even if they were buried—he shouldn’t have buried them, because then something like alcohol could dig them up. He should’ve killed them. The second thing he did wrong was be unwise and lack selfless introspection: the idea is that he knew somewhere that he had those feelings, and hadn’t killed them yet, and THEN let himself be in a situation alone with Emma, makes his “gentleness” seem even more like a facade. You can make clear, in some way, that the alcohol isn’t what created the wrong. It just brought it to the surface.

People who have feelings for someone who does not belong to them, but is already on some level promised to someone else, should not let those feelings linger or stick around. That is wrong. Unrequited “love” stops being loving and starts being a wrong thing to feel when you learn that it is unrequited. Entertaining a romantic feeling for someone, in any way, after you know that you can’t serve that person with those romantic feelings, is wrong. Theo should’ve killed those feelings or, if that was too hard, removed temptation by setting up boundaries. Not being alone in a room with Emma; not getting into deep personal discussions where one heart can speak to the other heart with Emma; not letting Emma talk about Thomas (her boyfriend?) in a negative way around him, etc.

But…maybe I’m misunderstanding him? I’d have to know more about the character.

I mean, it’s fine if the character is so non-introspective that he never realized he wanted to kiss Emma before alcohol brought it up. But. It was still wrong. Because introspection is not just the right thing to do for yourself, but the right thing to do when your goal is to have selfless relationships with friends, family, and lovers alike. Anyway.

The point is, no, I don’t think you need to make Theo any less gentle. I think you should make it subtly clear that Theo has a problem with carelessness. (I actually have a friend who/s biggest character flaw is this.) It’s all well and good to be a dude who is happy, sweet, would never intentionally harm anybody or get between his friends…but if you never intentionally prevent yourself from harming anybody, by doing the work to look at how you could actively care for someone (think about doing what’s best for them, which would’ve led him to avoid being alone with Emma) then you’re careless. You’re sweet, and you’re kind, and you’re not meaning to hurt, but…that’s your problem, because you’re also not meaning to do much of anything. You’re coasting along through your relationships with no careful thought, just assuming vaguely good intentions and an even vaguer “sweetness” vibe will be enough to keep you and your friends out of trouble.

You could do that by characterizing him carefully even before the kiss scene. Have him make jokes in large group of friends, and everybody laughs, and clearly he’s not meaning to hurt anybody, but the girl he slings his arm around when he says it is clearly offended by the joke…and Theo doesn’t notice. Have him walk into a serious conversation between two or three of his friends, and then try to “lighten the mood,” when clearly what his friends probably needed more was for him to take what they’re talking about seriously, and join in. If there’s ever a scene where everybody’s at a dance party, have him dance really spazzy to try and make one awkward person laugh—but he’s not being careful of his surroundings and accidentally elbows somebody in the face. You know. Little characterization traits that show the audience, “this is Theo, he’s a sweet guy, but he’s a little careless, needs to learn to be introspective and intentional.” Then when he kisses Emma, you’ve subtly built this up: Theo would never try to cause trouble between Emma and Thomas, but he also isn’t careful enough to not try to cause trouble between Emma and Thomas.

I don’t know if that’s helpful, I don’t know the characters well enough.

As for the big main question, with what allows Emma to stop acting out of fear—I still think making her own “worth” the thing is going to be a little too tricky for you without establishing where she gets that idea of “worth” from. It can’t come from others, so where’s it coming from? I would avoid that idea altogether, but that’s just me. Maybe you can figure a way around it.

I would simply replace the motive of fear with a new understanding of what unconditional love for others looks like. She’s not willing to sacrifice because she knows her WORTH—in fact, she’s not thinking about her worth, or her safety, or her security, at all—because she’s entirely stopped thinking of herself. She’s just thinking of them.

But again…it’s hard to explain why or how she goes from thinking about herself to thinking more of others. You do need a catalyst in there that causes her to make the switch. Don’t know if this helps!

#Build a problem musical #build a problem #asked #answered #storytelling #advice #thanks for asking

[charlottesbookclub]

Clean (General Armitage Hux)

Summary: Armitage has a particularly rough day and takes a depression shower about it

Warnings/Tags: Hux-centric (no pairing), angst, stress, memories of child abuse, Hux works too much, did I mention angst?, body image issues, insecurities, maybe just very slight SH implications?, ANGST (let me know if I missed anything!)

Words: 1,162

Author’s Note: apparently I'm on a roll with producing Hux content recently! This is just a short little fic building off a headcanon I wrote about in this post. It's an idea I've had for a while and just finally wrote it down. Hope you all enjoy even tho it's super frickin angsty and kinda sad!

(oh and the lines from Br*ndol are from the Hux comic and I think Empire's End?)

            The faint beep his door emitted as it recognized his credentials and zipped open for him sounded almost heavenly to Armitage. He barely made it into his chambers before he collapsed back against the now-closed door, sliding down until he was seated on the floor. He rested his arms on his bent-up knees, folding himself down as small as was possible given his height. There was a strange tightness in his throat, and not the kind caused by the unseeable grip of the damned Force. The passing thought of that frivolous magic snapped him back to himself, and he pushed up off of the floor in one fluid movement, knowing that if he slowed or hesitated at all, his exhausted body would decide that he would be sleeping unceremoniously slumped against his door.

            It had been a long cycle. Or was it two cycles? How long had it been since he had last rested? He shook his head minutely, trying to clear the fog of weariness that had finally allowed itself to settle in his mind. His chambers were dark except for the pale light of the stars creeping in through the large windows. He didn’t bother turning a light on. Instead, he made his way slowly to the refresher, discarding items of clothing one by one, each seeming to represent a problem that he wished he could cast off as easily as his uniform.

            First, the gloves – Ren destroying another expensive control panel. Greatcoat next – an unfortunate meeting with Snoke that left his project on a much tighter timeline than he had originally planned. One boot kicked to the side, then the other – the knowing glances cast between former Imperial officers on the bridge, sharing some joke he wasn’t privy to. His uniform top – the endless forms needing his approval and signature. The light undershirt next – the constant pinging of his comlink and datapad with requests for his time. Then his trousers – useless meetings with more insufferable Imperial veterans who just wanted to feel as though they were still valuable by giving outdated advice. Finally, his undergarments and socks – the biting headache that has been festering behind his eyes for the past… well… however many cycles it had been.

            Hux reached the refresher and didn’t bother to turn that light on either. Instead, he stepped directly into the dark-tiled shower and turned the hot water to its full capacity. Normally, he limited himself to cold showers. He felt they were more effective at waking him up – or, more often than not, freshening him up since actual sleep was something of a rarity for the general. Either way, despite the fact that his rank gave him unlimited access to hot water, he rarely indulged in the luxury. Right now though, it was what he needed more than anything.

            Steam filled the refresher, indicating that the water had reached a suitable temperature, and Armitage stepped under the current, nearly gasping at the shocking heat. For a moment, he could think of nothing else but the nearly unbearable warmth of the water as it coursed over his skin. When he had gotten somewhat habituated to the temperature on his body, he dipped his head into the stream and hissed as the water cut almost-scalding rivulets through his hair. After a few moments of exposure, his body became desensitized to the intense heat. He was left with a welcome warmth seeping into every fiber of his being. He began releasing tension he wasn’t even conscious of as the hot water unspooled it from his coiled muscles. His pristinely coiffed hair was soaked into damp strands, the gel dissolving and relinquishing its hold on his orange locks. For a few glorious moments, his mind was blissfully blank. He thought of nothing, simply absorbing the sensation of the hot water against his skin in the dark shower.

            They always crept back in though – the voices, the thoughts. What a waste of resources. How frivolous. How useless. Hux gritted his teeth then, hearing his father’s despised voice ring in his ears: “I’ve yet to find anything that Armitage isn’t utterly useless at.” He was glad he couldn’t make out much of his body in the steam-filled darkness of the refresher. He knew his pale skin was turning a humiliating shade of pink – both from the heat and from the unwanted memories. And he was thin. Scrawny. “Thin as a slip of paper and just as useless.” Armitage pressed his fist against the cool wall of the shower, putting enough force behind it that his knuckles began to hurt. Anything to drive his father’s words from his mind. As the insults and memories faded, Hux heaved a sigh. He exchanged his fist against the tile for his forehead, the press of the cold black stone bringing him back to reality. Despite his face no longer being under the current of water, he nevertheless felt warm liquid slipping down his cheeks. He scrubbed at his face with his hand, assuring himself it was nothing but beads of condensation, and situated himself back under the stream.

            He allowed himself just a few more fleeting moments under the warm water, trying to let it sap the last of the stress from his body, even though he wasn’t sure that was even possible at this point. Tension had settled deep into his bones and made itself at home there, untouchable even by the calming hands of heat that spilled over his body. Before he lost his nerve and stayed in the shower for the rest of eternity, he snapped the water off and was left suddenly shivering as the cool air of the refresher began to prick his skin. Stepping out of the shower, he wrapped himself in a robe. He caught a quick glance in the mirror, but any glimpse of his body was mercifully obscured by both the darkness and the steam collected on the reflective surface. He didn’t want to be reminded of his weak constitution now, not when he had only just banished his father’s unwelcome words.

            He stepped back out into the main room of his quarters, letting the pale starlight guide him as he inched his way carefully along the trail of discarded clothing items, collecting them as he went. On his way to his bed, he placed each in their assigned places: uniform and undergarments in the chute that connected directly to the ship’s central laundry facility, greatcoat carefully arranged on a hanger in his sparse closet, boots lined up neatly next to the door. That done, Armitage allowed himself to sink into bed, pulling the covers over his chilled body. He was almost ready to give into his aching head and sore body, to just allow himself to fall into the oblivion of sleep. Then a shrill ping interrupted that futile dream. He rolled over, pulling his datapad into bed with him to check the notification. He could always rest after responding to this message.

#charlotte writes #armitage hux #armitage hux fanfiction #armitage hux headcanon #hux #general hux #general hux fanfic #general hux headcanon #hux headcanon #tw mention of child abuse #tw body image #tw slight self harm

[myimaginarywonderland]

I think the main think that we should address about the Alpha Tauri debacle is that nothing good will come out of it and this whole thing was set up to fail from the start.

Let me explain.

No one apparently at RedBull seemed fully confident in Nyck. Most convincing seemingly came from Max putting a good word in for a friend.

Alpha Tauri was bound to be a disaster with the one constant they have leaving at the end of this year, Franz Tost, which wil be the final nail in the coffin. This team has been so consistent for many years because Franz is arguably the best team principal as he builds drivers up. Not only does he managed to get them back into a place where they are believing in themselves again but by doing this he automatically makes them better drivers because they learn while not having any pressure. He works with encouragement a lot of the time and he is one of the main reason why so many drivers got to the place where we are calling them good again. Him leaving was doubt to cause this team to recline especially because of the way they are run as a secondary RB team.

Alpha Tauri has always worked as a step ladder where they are only temporary before a driver either leaves for RedBull or leaves RedBull behind to go to the midfield.

But they at least managed to always have a driver that they could use as a secondary RedBull driver which let's be honest here is what anyone in that academy will be until Max leaves F1.

They abandoned that policy though simply because Alex and Pierre left. I think there was always some believe that Alex or Pierre will be kept there for a bit to train the younger one who will ultimately step up to Max, be there for a year or two before potentially becoming the main driver once Max leaves. But then Pierre and Alex left and they didn't have a driver to be that mentor anymore. No other driver from the current grid is a.) experienced enough for that and b.) willing to leave the team. The only three close enough would be Val (who will probably like Kimi retire at Alfa), Kevin (who is chained to Haas until the devil rips that contract up) or Nico (who at that time already probably had the talks with Haas.)

I am not discrediting Yuki or seeing he can't do it but the problem was Yuki isn't fixed. They wanted to kick him out but then saw him perform better and let him stick around which is where the problem begins.

The whole purpose is to have drivers from AT that can be pushed to RB alongside Max. Yuki has been slandered so much and threatened so often to be dropped that it would just seem weird to put him there. Add to that no guaranteed contract and especially now he would jump to any other team the second he gets because it is the smartest move.

Anyway, here's the dilemma. Yuki and Nyck are not your typical young rookie/older mentor relationship and Nyck also again was never a fixed thing in RB. The move to even sign him, knowing they will lose Yuki in a year or 2 is stupid. Rightfully they should have put a rookie who could learn under Yuki and then grow to step up once not only Franz but Yuki leave which they didn't because well.

Undoubtedly Vips was supposed to be that before shit went down.

Now there's Liam who also is in this weird limbo off many just drivers where they sort of just push F1 out of their mind. He's been doing so much other stuff that he is decent in so really, the possibility to go back to F1 was slim especially with an already signed contract.

The whole F2 drivers are all either too inexperienced or truly just don't stick out and after Yuki would they really go for some that had an average junior career again?

And anyone else is not an option with the inexperience glaring.

Now we come to the big problem.

RedBull have always had the golden boy thing. It was clear since his Monza win that Seb would be at that team. It was clear they would only win with him. Then after Seb, I truly believe Daniel was brought in as Webber replacement and place holder until they would finally shift to Verstappen who they planned to pushed probably since 2014. No driver really stood a chance between the Seb/Max transition because they weren't meant to, simple as that. Now, the interesting thing is Max bringing up retirement and no doubt running away with the next 2 or 3 titles probably. What people also tend to forget that in 2025 Max has been in the sport for 10 years. Not to mention he was as a literal teen. He was forced to grow up and be that star. Would it be really surprising if after establishing himself among the greats he would want to be somewhere else where he could win? No.

This now begs the question of who will be there next golden boy and well really this is what it ultimately boils down to.

While I do think Liam is a great driver you can't help but wonder that the reason they didn't choose him is simply because they don't think he will carry that greatness over to F1 and the lack of trust makes it obvious he isn't the next golden boy.

Apparently Enzo is a RB junior driver? Didn't know that but yeah it ain't going to be him either. Would be happy if he even got a chance at Haas for a season they will teams refuse to give rookies a chance.

Jak Crawford has a pretty unspectacular carting/racing record so there's that.

Isack Hadjar is still young but compared to most of the RB former talent pool again pretty uneventful.

Dennis Haugher looks okay but still compared to the achievements required to be golden boy probably not?

Ayumu Iwasa is apparently the most hyped? He has a good record from what I could find I guess? Stands out that he mostly switched between series so maybe that's more damaging to me.

For the little good, Formula experience he has and the regional titles he won I am surprised more people aren't considering him? To me he sticks out most from the F2 drivers but then again looking at talent pool we have had none of them truly feel like they are what RedBull saw in Max and Seb.

There also the F3 drivers of course so let's look at them. On a second thought let's not because really nothing stand out and you can barely find stuff.

For the F4 drivers you can truly not find any statistics so yeah.

Why did I make this long detour?

To show you that really RedBull doesn't have junior drivers they seem confident in or that have the promise their main stars, Seb and Max had. But even drivers like Pierre, Alex, Daniel showed overall more impressive or at least interesting records than most of the RB juniors.

In that regard getting Nyck makes sense. It doesn't make sense though considering that the possibility that Max leaves in the next 5-8 years is inevitable and there's no one they have who will stay long to carry teams leader. Perez will leave, Nyck was never supposed to be longer than maybe 2 or 3 years, Yuki probably will move to a midfield team and Alex likely will become a driver at another top team. They should have promoted a junior or even Liam up to see how they do. Give them 2-3 years at AT to see development while also getting a second junior after a year or 2 in that team so they can learn to develope as driver and team leader if they show potential.

Yet they went for Nyck, knowing the incredible shit AT is in and the unstable environment it would be + they already had no faith in him.

And before I see anyone suggesting Daniel: no. Yuki was bound to step up as team leader and supposed to try out the mentor role. That is what they wanted him to be. With Daniel that would have never worked out. + He made it very clear he wanted nothing below Alpine so of course they didn't consider him. He didn't make himself an option.

Anyway the long story short:

This entire line up was bound to fail and is undoubtedly the first of many steps that will lead to 90% of RedBull juniors being tossed aside without a chance. This is the first of many reactions to the fact that the RedBull will not promote their juniors, they will instead discard the problem and presumably get Norris once Max makes it clear that he isn't going to be racing much longer. There's no doubt in my mind none of the current RedBull juniors will never be considered an option and that the next RB golden boy will be someone of the current grid and not of the RB family.

#f1