#every day i think about how long it took before kaz noticed something was up

[vlasdygoth]

kitten

#mgs #revolver ocelot #more painting practice bc i cant sleep #him and his stupid triangle tanline #idk if i like the freckles as a permanent thing but you know he's not putting on as much sunscreen as he should #much to think about when you're under self hypnosis. for some reason #every day i think about how long it took before kaz noticed something was up #or if he knew he was doing it from the start or what #idk. idk. so much of that doesnt make sense to me but whatever. whatever!! #id in alt text #like i feel like he couldve just kept up the lie he did it for nine ye-- [i am dragged offstage by a cartoonishly large hook] #mgsv spoilers #for the tags. if anyone cares

[bi-bard]

No Saints Ever Watched Over Me - Kaz Brekker Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: No Saints Ever Watched Over Me

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Sun Summoner!Reader

Word Count: 1,798 words

Warning(s): canon-typical violence

Summary: Kaz held onto the belief that no saints had looked out for him and none were in a rush to rescue him. When forced to face the very saint that he refused to believe in, will Kaz accept that he was wrong or continue on his path of denial and avoidance?

Author's Note: Here's how one piece of dialogue made me want to throw all sorts of canon to the wolves just so this idea could happen.

---------------------------

At some point, hiding became as natural as breathing.

My parents taught me to hide before most things.

They were the only ones who knew about my... condition that I hadn't directly told.

They had seen the sunlight that coursed through my veins. The prophecy unfolding in their very home. The future presented to them on a silver platter.

They knew what would happen if I was ever discovered. They never wanted me to hear, but I did. They knew that I would be hunted for the rest of my life. That I would be shoved into harm's way in the name of Ravka. Men would be happy to watch my blood spill for their battles if they were wrapped in the flag of their country.

I was young when a group of men showed up at their door.

My dad took me away. As far away as he could. My mom didn't have a chance.

When he knew that what was happening was inevitable, he told me to run. Run, hide, and never tell anyone about my gift.

I was alone.

I never saw my power as a gift. Especially not after that day. In one swoop, this "gift" had taken everything from me.

And I still had to survive despite that.

I settled in Ketterdam. Alone and terrified. I needed to find work and a place to stay while I was still very young.

Working with Kaz Brekker was an accident more than anything else. It had been a few years since I had seemed to plant my feet on the ground. I had made friends with Jesper, who had offered me a chance to make myself a decent amount of money.

After that, Kaz seemed to come to me for every mission they had. I don't know why. As far as he was able to know, Kaz could have found a hundred people who were just like me.

Granted, I didn't have to keep working with him. I could have taken another job. But I didn't. Working with Kaz just felt right. Working with the Crows felt right.

I was a regular part of the team.

It was nice.

None of them seemed willing to say it out loud but it was like having a family. A real family for the first time in ages.

I kept my... situation private. They didn't truly need to know.

However, I knew that it would be foolish to think that I could hide it from them forever. It did take them longer than

Inej was the first to find out.

Kaz had noticed that something was "off" about me. Something was different. He couldn't figure out what that thing was. And Kaz Brekker hated not knowing everything about a situation.

He sent her to spy on me for the night. Follow me. See who I did business with, who I met for drinks, who I brought home with me (which I never did).

I had been curled at the foot of my bed after a long, exhausting day. I was tired and sad and angry all at the same time. I needed something of comfort. I allowed a ball of sunlight to form in my hand and sit in my palm. The fog and dreariness of Ketterdam didn't allow for one to enjoy a moment in the sunshine, so I had to make my own.

Inej must have caught me just as I was sitting there with it.

Not that she told me.

Instead, she went straight back to Kaz with what she had learned.

I could imagine what his reaction was. The disbelief, the anger at the insistence, and the dismissal of the whole event with some comment about it all being some clever trick on my part.

I hope she asked him what the point of a trick was when I was alone.

I only found out that Inej knew when I was told to go meet Kaz in his office. As I passed the bar, Inej and Jesper watched me go by. I watched Inej's hand move to her forehead and chest. I furrowed my eyebrows for a moment. I hadn't told her anything, so why did she do that?

Kaz was standing behind his desk when I walked in.

"Close the door," he instructed bluntly. I did so.

I walked over to stand across from him, waiting for some indication of what this was all about.

"What are you," he asked.

I paused for a moment. "Excuse me?"

"What are you?" he repeated, putting an emphasis on each word.

"I'm (Y/n), you allow me to work with you because I can fight, and you said that I can be pretty clever-"

"I said what, not who."

"Will you just tell me what this is about," I asked. "I clearly don't know."

"I had Inej follow you last night."

"Kaz!"

"You were hiding something from me," he tried to explain.

"So you sent someone to watch me? That is incredibly invasive!"

"She saw your trick," he continued. "The sunlight in your hand."

I felt frozen. The motion at the bar suddenly made sense to me. Inej was firm in her beliefs. Private, but firm. She saw me and thought that I was the saint that the stories were about.

"How did you do it?"

"I... I just can," I shrugged. "You think it was a trick."

"I know it was a trick," he replied. "The sun summoner wouldn't hide away in Ketterdam."

I took a deep breath. "My parents paid for me to get here. They knew what I was. They knew what would happen if the Grisha got their hands on me. It was meant to protect me. I kept my head down. I stayed quiet. Worked with you for money because it was the safest choice I had at the time."

Kaz didn't speak up. He didn't truly believe me. Not entirely. I wasn't surprised by that. Kaz had trust issues when it came to normal people. Never mind... someone like me.

I took a step away from the desk. I let a ball of sunlight form in my hand.

Kaz slowly walked around the desk. He studied me, stepping in a small circle around me. He was looking for the trick. The effect. Some sign that what Inej had seen was wrong.

He stopped in front of his desk again.

I closed my hand, scuffing out the sunlight.

"You are never to do that unless in the presence of me, Inej, and Jesper. Understood?"

"I know how to hide," I replied. "I've been doing this for a long time now."

He just nodded to me.

I kept to that agreement as best I could. I never showed my gift outside of my room. The only time anyone else saw it was when Inej came by, begging to know if it was all true.

She tried to praise me. Call me a saint.

I didn't let her. I begged her to not see me as a hero because I wasn't one. I had no interest in being one. All I wanted was some semblance of normalcy. She respected that.

My agreement with Kaz didn't crumble until I saw it as absolutely necessary.

He had told me to join him to get through the door of some place.

He had been doing that more and more. Having me work directly by his side. I had no interest in questioning it, but I did notice it.

It had been going well. However, the number of guards had been greatly underestimated.

The only part that I truly remember was one of the guards choking Kaz. His cane had been thrown across the room from him. I didn't have the physical strength to stop the guard. I knew that.

So, as if on instinct, I threw a ball of sunlight at him.

He fell to the ground, allowing Kaz to lean back against the wall and catch his breath.

I ran over to grab his cane. I walked over slowly, holding it out to him. He snatched it from my hand, an angry look taking over his features.

"Are you alright," I asked.

He didn't bother with my question, instead posing one of his own, “What the hell were you thinking?”

“That you were about to die."

“You could have gotten yourself killed, hunted! All that you have claimed to have been terrified of!”

"You would truly rather die by the hand of your own stubbornness than ever thank someone for their help," I rolled my eyes.

"You agreed to never use your powers around others! I don't need you to save me!"

I scoffed at him. “Kaz, I understand that you think you’re invincible, but please believe me when I say that you are nowhere close.”

“And you are?” he stepped closer to me.

“Would you like to compare a list of things that I could survive versus what you could survive? I really don’t think you would because you would end up quite embarrassed!”

Kaz’s jaw clenched as he merely continued glaring. As if he were stunned that I had the nerve to yell at him the way I did. To question his power and control and leadership the way I did.

“I hate to tell you this, but you have people who care for you, Kaz Brekker,” I continued. “There are people that actually don’t want you dead. Let them help you. That’s why you have a crew in the first place.”

"Don't claim to be my savior."

"Don't claim that you never need to be saved!"

The silence after that was tense. He was angry and the boss of the whole gang. I was angry and able to scorch the earth beneath his feet.

"We have work to do," I finally muttered, walking around him.

"What happened to keeping your... affliction a secret," he asked as I did so.

I stopped at the door, turning back to him. "If the choice was letting you die or exposing my secret, then the choice would be you. Every single time."

There was a long pause before Kaz spoke up, "Why?"

There was another, even longer pause. "Is it not obvious?"

His face didn't shift. Not at all.

I had some feeling in my chest that he knew the answer to his question long before he asked it. Maybe he just needed the personal confirmation. Maybe he wanted me to say something entirely different so that it would bring some comfort. Allow him some escape route from his own feelings.

"Can we go now," I asked.

He nodded. "Fine."

Kaz may not have believed in saints. But I would like to believe that some part of him believed in me.

And that was enough for me.

---------------------------

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#kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #imagine #fanfiction #x reader #freddy carter imagine #freddy carter fanfiction #freddy carter x reader

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Don't Go Blindly Into the Dark

Summary:

To hide that he can't read, Jan Van Eck has been forcing his son to pretend he's blind since he was eight years old. Wylan is now attending Ketterdam University, and meeting Jesper Fahey may very well be about to change his life. But is he safe to tell Jesper the truth? And what will Jesper say if he does?

Jesper is struggling to weigh up his life in the Barrel and his life at the University of Ketterdam, and there's a good chance that his growing debt is about to make the decision for him. He hasn't attended class consecutively for months, but maybe that will change when his newest project includes partnering up with Wylan Van Eck. But can he really leave the Barrel behind him? And how long can he keep up the pretence of who he thinks Wylan wants him to be?

Tags: @justalunaticfangirl @lunarthecorvus

If anyone else would like to be tagged let me know :)

Content warnings for this chapter: ptsd, abuse, violence

AO3 link

Chapter 7 - Inej

Inej did not sleep well. When she woke, to dawn streaming into her eyes beneath the base of the blind, Nina was still sleeping soundly with one arm wrapped around her pillow. Inej sat up and stretched the aches of the floor out of her spine. She didn’t like the idea of being away from her knives all night but she also couldn’t really sleep with them all hidden in her night clothes, so she’d brought two - Sankt Petyr and Sankta Alina, from the quickdraws she wore on her arms - and lay one on Nina’s desk, the other beneath the tiny nightstand above Inej’s head so she could grab it at a moment’s notice. 

The sunbeams caressing Inej’s face were warmed by the glass but when she dared to pull the edge of the blind a tiny enough fraction open that she thought should not wake Nina, she saw the world far below them looking cold in the winds that chased each other through trees and battered the bushes. Inej dropped the blind and turned away, freezing in place for a moment when Nina stirred on the bed - but she didn’t wake. And Inej didn’t need to be afraid. She took a slow breath, trying to shake this feeling away, and picked up her knives. When Nina awoke, an hour or so later, Inej was sitting cross-legged on the desk chair with both of their new timetables in her hands. Kaz had told them he just stuffed random classes around the ones they needed to be in; Wylan Van Eck would probably get wise if they showed up from nowhere into every one of his lessons, so he picked and chose a few for each of them. 

“Morning,” said Inej, smiling as she looked up to see Nina slowly emerging from beneath a pile of pillows and duvet.

Nina mumbled something incoherent and flopped back into her cushions for a minute, before rolling over and asking Inej for the time.

“Just past eight bells,”

“Ugh, how disgusting,” Nina muttered, slowly sitting up, “How long have you been up?”

“Not long,”

Nina stretched, sighing softly, then stood up. Inej got to her feet, toes wriggling inside her socks. She didn’t like sleeping barefoot, but she hadn’t gone as far as to carry her boots with her to Nina’s room in the middle of the night. She felt suddenly exposed though, in her ill-fitting pyjamas and her socks, like she was doing something wrong. She wanted her knives. And her boots.

Inej shuffled, ready to move to the door and tell Nina she’d meet her in the hall once they were both dressed.

“You need some new pyjamas,” said Nina, taking Inej by surprise. She was watching the way Inej fidgeted with the droopy neckline of her button down, “Those aren’t yours, are they?”

“They’re the only ones I have,” Inej shrugged, “Jesper found them for me,”

It had only been a day or two after she’d come to the Slat, when he’d happened upon her waking up, fully dressed. He snatched them from somewhere, she supposed. Inej had waited all week for him to take what he wanted in return, a quaking, gnawing sensation growing in her chest whenever she saw him. Kaz had told her nothing was expected of her here but he had also told her he wouldn’t be able to watch out for her; she had to take care of herself. So every time her path crossed with Jesper’s, Inej would slip her fingers into her brass knuckles and keep them hidden in her pocket, waiting. Waiting, and praying she’d be strong enough to fight whatever he might bring her way. But nothing happened. Nothing ever happened. And when Inej finally convinced herself that nothing ever would, she started sleeping in the night clothes he had given her. 

“It didn’t occur to Kaz you’d need real night clothes?” asked Nina, shaking her head.

Inej smiled.

“Demons that don’t sleep forget that other people need to, remember?”

Nina made a sound closer to just exhaling than real laughter. She looked annoyed, but Inej didn’t think she needed to be. Kaz had done a thousand things for her and more. And even the first night they’d walked to the Slat, Inej’s bare feet slowly gathering dust and grime and little nicks on the unpleasant streets of the Barrel, she’s arrived at the Slat to neatly folded collections of clothes sitting on the bed he said was hers; shirts, trousers, socks and real underwear. And it was barely any time later that he appeared again, holding out a pair of boots.

“They won’t work for climbing though, will they?”

She shook her head.

“What will you need?”

“Something with rubber soles. Preferably,”

Kaz had nodded, then he was gone. 

Compared to everything, what was a pair of pyjamas? 

“Can I ask you a question?” asked Nina, pulling a dressing down over her flighty nightdress.  

Inej watched her warily for a moment.

“I guess. I can’t promise that I’ll answer,”

“Do you… do you sleep in your bed at the Slat? Or on the floor,”

Inej swallowed.

“Depends,”

She waited for Nina to prompt her further, genuinely not sure if she would answer her or not, but no further questions came. 

There wasn’t really room to sleep on the floor at the Slat; the room - her room - was barely big enough to fit the bed and the slim chest she kept her clothes in. But some nights she would curl up on the cold boards, her legs partially beneath the bed so there was enough space for her to fit, a thin blanket pulled around her shoulders. Or maybe the duvet, depending on the night. Other times the floor was the worse option, summoning memories of punishments and dark rooms. Inej had once been unable to lift herself off the floor for days, when Tante Heleen had beaten her so badly she couldn’t work for a week. 

“What’s first?” asked Nina, nodding to the timetables Inej had forgotten she was holding.

She looked down at them.

“I’ll see him first,” she said, “for chemistry. I don’t know anything about chemistry,”

“Well with a bit of luck he might,” said Nina, now rooting through her bag, “You can ask him for help, get his attention”

Inej was going to be terrible at this. She knew, theoretically, that Kaz had put her on this job because it would give her better facility for what came next - the part she was actually good at - but she still couldn’t help but continually wonder why on earth he had thought this would be a good idea. 

“Excuse me?” she said, approaching the boy sitting near the end of a row towards the back of the lecture hall, and the empty seat next to him, as soon as she got into the classroom.

It had taken so long to find this building that it was a good job she’d left early. Tonight’s job was definitely to learn the layout of the campus. Inej knew the city’s rooftops intimately, for the most part, but she'd never before had cause to venture through the University District. It sprawled just South of the Geldin District, built neater than the Financial District to its West but still with the same practice of generous spaces between the buildings, roads stretching wider than anything they were used to in the Barrel. The further West you moved through the city the more crowded it became; the buildings got closer to each other, the streets got thinner, even the canals narrowed until they were barely wide enough for the pleasure barges of the Barrel to move through them. 

Wylan Van Eck looked up. If Inej hadn’t already known they were the same age she would’ve thought he was younger than her. His curls were soft, almost glowing in the sun pouring through the window behind them, and Inej noted the silvery line of the little scar above his right cheekbone, just where Nina had said it was. Three thin lines over his eyes, Nina said she’d found, and one down the side of his nose. Inej wondered what had happened. 

“Hi,” she said, “Erm, do you mind if I sit here?”

He looked a little surprised, but nodded all the same.

“Yeah, sure”

“Thanks,” she took the seat next to his and place her notebook on the table, “I’m Inej, I just started here”

“Wylan,” he smiled, a little awkwardly, “Are you a transfer student, then?”

“I’m from Ravka,” she said, trying to calm the twitching of her fingers. It wasn’t like she was lying, “I just moved here,”

Okay, well that that was a lie. But it was close enough.

“Reckon I’m going to have quite a lot to catch up on,”

Wylan hesitated, and then there was a pause so long that Inej thought they were done talking before he said:

“It’s not too difficult a class. If you already studied some chemistry in Ravka I think you’ll be okay,”

Inej had never studied chemistry, but all the same she sighed in what she hoped sounded like relief.

“Thanks. That makes me feel a lot better,”

There was another long bout of silence. The lecture started and Inej made vague, confused notes to keep up appearances, mostly half sentences followed by question marks. The professor had been going on about the same molecule for an entire fifty minutes and Inej was starting to wonder why anyone cared, but Wylan seemed to be paying rapt attention. She watched him closely; she didn’t know how anyone kept all of this nonsense in their heads when they could look back through notes to remind themselves, let alone how Wylan was supposed to manage it. At one point the professor drew the structure of the molecule slowly on the board and Wylan must have been able to count the strokes of the chalk and align them with what they’d been told so far because he traced an almost perfect rendition of it across the desk with his finger, but other than that he didn’t seem to have any way of taking record of the lecture. The class eventually began to filter out.

“How did you find it?” asked Wylan.

“I, erm…” Inej hesitated, “I was a little lost,”

“Which part? I can try to help, if you want - I don’t know any Ravkan though, if it’s because you don’t know it in Kerch,”

Inej looked at her notes. At some point she’d doodled a bunch of flowers in the margin and not much else - maybe she owed Jesper an apology about his butterfly. 

“I’m just not sure chemistry’s my thing,” she admitted, “What does nucleophilic substitution mean?”

“That’s the mechanism,” Wylan explained, “Opposites attract. In this one the carbon is slightly more positive than the bromine it’s bound to, and the hydroxide ion has a negative charge because of the electron pair,”

As he went on and described the movement of the ions, or whatever they were, Inej wasn’t entirely convinced he was still speaking Kerch, but she nodded anyway and tried to sound like she understood. 

“Thank you so much - oh, I should be going, I have another class. I don’t suppose you know where the Gierveld Building is, do you?”

“I’m going that way too,” said Wylan.

Inej already knew that, but she was hoping it was a good sign she was doing her job right that he was happy to volunteer the information.

“What class do you have?”

Inej glanced at her timetable.

“Religious studies,” 

Kaz had seriously signed her up for Religious studies? She couldn’t tell if he was mocking her or not. Probably. Almost definitely.

“Tricks,” he’d told her, when she had once again fruitlessly argued with him about miracles not long ago. She didn’t know why she still bothered, “Frauds, conartists, whatever you want to call them,”

“Saints,”

“Liars,” he pulled a card from thin air, and handed it to her. Queen of Spades. “I don’t see you throwing yourself at the feet of every cheap coin magician you meet, Inej,”

“Those are tricks,” she snapped, “And I don’t throw myself at the feet of anyone,”

Kaz rolled his eyes. He was sitting at his desk in the Crow Club, papers in neat stacks in front of him as he updated the ledgers. Inej knew he only kept books for the sake of Per Haskell, or so he had something to point at for proof when someone skimmed or if the stadwatch claimed he wasn’t paying his taxes; he could track every deal, every exchange, every single coin in his head with barely a second thought. She wondered sometimes what it felt like; was there a neatly organised filing system in his head, like the one she was looking at on his desk and on his shelves? Or did he need those here, because in his mind it was quite the opposite? She imagined all those details, all those memories, clamouring for attention and climbing over each other for the spotlight. Maybe remembering with such accuracy had a kind of price to it, just like everything else in this Saintsforsaken town.

“What about Sankta Alina?” Inej had asked him.

“What about her?”

“She was a living Saint, Kaz, right in front of everyone,”

“Was she? Or was she just a very unlucky girl with the weight of the world shoved on top of her until she wound up crushed to death beneath it? Grisha aren’t Saints,”

“Not all Grisha do what she did,”

“And not all Grisha are martyrs, Inej,” he shook his head, “What are you really worshipping here, if your Saints have to die to be listened to?”

They could chase each other in circles forever and at this rate maybe they would, but that night Inej had left him with parting words muttered in Suli as she swung out into the evening air and seethed at him her entire journey home.

“I have a business class,” said Wylan, standing slowly and running his hand along the desk until he found the slender cane leaning against it, “but we can walk over together,”

Inej smiled.

#hi I haven't proofread this so sorry for any mistakes but I'm tired so I'll fix them tomorrow :) #don't go blindly into the dark #six of crows #grishaverse #crooked kingdom #leigh bardugo #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #jesper fahey #nina zenik #wylan van eck #kanej #wesper #matthias helvar #wylan hendriks #wesper fanfiction #wesper fic #wylan and inej #soc fanfiction #soc fandom #soc fic #inej and nina #six of crows fandom #six of crows fanfic #six of crows fic #grishaverse fanfic #grishaverse fandom

[sophierequests]

hey<33 congrats on 100 followers! i love your writing!

may i please have kaz brekker with 505 by the arctic monkeys? Thank you so so much<33

i crumble completely when you cry

Navigation┃Main Masterlist┃Requests

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x gn!Reader

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much <333 This song is just so ldjhsdljhdalh and having this in connection to Kaz Brekker is making my brain go brrrr. Thank you so much for requesting this, love! And I hope you like it! <333

Summary: After years of not seeing them, Kaz decides to find them again.

Genre: A tiny bit of angst (it's Kaz Brekker, what do you expect?), kinda fluffy, hurt/comfort

Word Count: 2.8K

Warnings: Mention of his touch aversion, but no real explicit mention of his backstory, chronic pain, yearning and self-loathing, piss poor proofreading

He flexed the gloved hand that had previously rested on top of the crow’s head of his cane, letting his gaze wander over the vastness of the True Sea. The tight grip he had on it wasn’t able to take his mind off the absurdity of the situation. Not even the heavy crashing of waves against the front of the ship helped to stop his thoughts from wandering. Wandering back to a time when he still knew what he could expect after disembarking the boat.

Only mere days prior, he would have never imagined taking this same route ever again. It was something that he was absolutely fine with - never seeing you again, that is. At least that was what he told himself. He had left you in his past a long time ago, and that is where you should have stayed. And that is where you would have stayed if he would have just thrown away all those damned letters.

“Kaz? I think these belong to you.” The rhythmic scratching of the fountain pen against paper stopped abruptly after Jesper entered Kaz’s office, holding a neatly bound stack of unopened letters in one hand and the requested blueprints in the other. He immediately regretted asking that question as soon as he saw his friend’s startled expression.

“Why do you have these letters?” No matter how steady his voice sounded, there was a storm brewing up inside him.

“I, uhm, I accidentally knocked over the box they were in while looking for the blueprints in the storage room.” Jesper stammered, not daring to move from his spot in the doorway. “All of them were unopened, so I thought-”

“I don’t care what you thought, Jesper. They were not yours to take. You should’ve left them in the storage.” His lips were pressed into a thin line as he watched the Zemeni boy shift on his feet uncomfortably. He knew that he didn’t do this to spite him, but the memories still stung. With a sigh, he leaned back in his chair, letting his eyes fall shut. “Put them on the table. I’ll deal with it later.”

“Got it, boss.” Jesper breathed, hurrying over to his desk and dropping everything on the table before quickly leaving the room.

At this point, he had completely forgotten about the letters he had stowed away with any other unimportant document all these years ago. He didn’t have the heart to throw them away back then, but he couldn’t bring himself to open them either. It took him a while to forget their presence, but eventually, the thoughts became sparse, their existence only occasionally coming up in his mind.

One of his gloved hands reached out to take the pile of papers, not knowing what exactly to do with them. Even though it hadn’t even been that long since he had received them, the paper of the envelopes had already started to darken, noticeably having been changed by time. Carefully, he removed his gloves, bare hands untying the string that kept the stack together. He let his fingers run over the almost fading ink. Every single one was addressed exactly the same.

Kaz Brekker

Crow Club

Ketterdam

Kerch

Not even the address of the sender changed.

Y/N Y/L/N

Ivets

Ravka

Kaz hadn’t been to Ravka in years. He hadn’t been to the town of Ivets in years. And worst of all, he hadn’t seen your face in years. He didn’t even know if you still lived there. No, he didn’t even know if you were still alive. The thought alone frightened him, however, he had no one else to blame but himself.

If it had been any other day, he would’ve probably ended up putting the letters away again, maybe for good this time. Absent-mindedly, his hand moved to find a paper-knife, carefully slicing open the stack of papers in front of him until he was only faced with a mountain of handwritten texts. Hesitantly, he picked up the oldest one, mentally preparing himself for what he was about to read.

A harsh gust of wind, that almost managed to knock off his hat, shook him from his thoughts. It wouldn’t be long until the ship would arrive at the harbour of Os Alta. From there he would merely have to face a multiple-hour coach ride and then he would be able to stand in front of your door again. That’s what he hoped for at least. Maybe it was already too late. What if you had already moved away? What if you had found somebody else? What if you didn’t want to see him?

It was actually almost laughable to assume that you would even want to see him again. No matter what kind of feelings the two of you once harboured for each other. But, even though he was reluctant to admit it, his feelings were not gone. What you had was the closest thing to love he had ever known and he would do everything in his power to rectify his past mistakes. He just had to convince himself that this was the right decision.

As soon as he stepped off the boat, he felt the sudden urge to abandon his plan. He could simply turn around and make his way back to Ketterdam, forgetting about you all over again. Or at least trying to. How would this sever him, though? What would it prove? That Kaz Brekker - Dirtyhands, the Bastard of the Barrel - was afraid of confrontation? That he didn’t even dare to talk to a person he used to think the world of? That he was foolish enough to let you go, but also couldn’t bring himself to admit it.

Without letting his thoughts overtake him, he sought out the first coach that went in his desired direction, preparing himself for an almost one-day-long coach ride. He watched as the landscapes around him changed from the colourful buildings of a buzzing harbour city to the striking lush fields that lay outside Os Alta. But just as quickly as his gaze had been pulled in by the view outside, his mind was seized by memories of the past - memories of you.

He remembered when he saw you the first time. He remembered offering you a job, a place to stay, and something akin to a family to rely on. And that’s where it should have ended. You should’ve just been another member of the Dregs. Somebody he could stay neutral to - a simple co-worker. You weren’t. Unexpectedly, you had sneaked your way into his heart. Whether that happened through you spending hours on hours in his office, or through you being a valuable addition to the Dregs, as he called you, he didn’t know. The only thing he knew was that he had been a lost cause since the day you stumbled into his life.

However, things went awry back at home and you had no other choice but to leave Ketterdam and travel back to Ivets. It may have been childish, but you had insisted on regularly writing him letters, telling him about your week or recalling past jobs that had stuck with you. Much to your surprise, he replied to every single one of them without a fail. It was an even bigger surprise when he began paying you the occasional visit, whenever business was slow or he just needed to take some time off. All under the cover of keeping track of one of his most valuable investments, of course. You both knew that was absolute bullshit though. There was way more hidden behind the surface of your supposed friendship, no matter how many times you would try to deny it.

This routine wasn’t able to survive the malice of the Barrel. Indulging in attachments may be sustainable for someone like the other Dregs, but he just couldn’t risk it. It would only have been a matter of time until you would’ve been brought into the crossfire of his lifestyle and that was a thing he wouldn’t risk. So eventually his letters got shorter and more sparse, his visits became basically non-existent and the connection you two had got harshly severed by his own fears. Nevertheless, you still continued to write letters. He imagined that you would stop after a while of not getting any answers back. That never happened. The letters still kept coming, albeit not as frequent as they used to. They stayed unopened, locked away in the furthest corner of the storage room he could find. And whenever a new one would arrive, it would join the other ones on that same shelf. He didn’t even want to imagine how you felt.

The day had already vanished, and a storm was currently raging in the sky as the coach came to a halt outside the city walls. His leg ached from being in the cramped space of the carriage for hours on end with no possibility of taking off some pressure. Dismissing the discomfort, Kaz forced himself out of the door, stepping on the unruly, and by now wet, cobblestone of Ivets for the first time in years. The streets were still moderately busy with people trudging into taverns to get out of the rain or making their way back to their respective homes. It wasn’t even close to being as busy as Ketterdam was during the same time of the day, but he didn’t mind. He wasn’t here to strike up a deal, complete a job or take care of business - that would have probably been way easier for him to manage. Human emotions didn’t work like numbers, which you could quantify and asses on a neat spreadsheet. He was going to have to be genuinely vulnerable and honest. No lies, no deception and no alternative plans.

As he moved through the narrow alleyway and steep roads, the rhythmic clicking of his cane was the only thing he tried to concentrate on. Not the sceptical glares he got from the townspeople, not the throbbing in his leg and most definitely the impending conflict that he probably had to face. It was a futile attempt, but it seemed to be the only thing keeping him from going insane. The closer he got to your home, the closer he got to turning around. Somehow, he still kept going, following the internal compass that would always lead him back to you. No matter how many years he had spent with trying to forget you.

The small house that you inherited from your grandparents still stood at the same place where it was when he last visited. It was situated close to the edge of the city, a lush garden now gracing the front of the house. You had to be there, he thought, pushing away his well-nurtured doubts about your safety. Even though most of the unlit windows didn’t give any indication of someone being home, there appeared to be a gloomy light coming from one of the lower rooms, therefore he had no excuse to turn around now. The only thing he had to do now was knock.

He almost jumped when the creaky door opened and a waft of light hit his eyes that seemed to have adjusted to the darkness of the night a little too well. He had already knocked at your door without even realizing it.

“Don’t you know how late it is? What do you…” The person standing at the door wanted to berate whoever had the nerve to disturb them in the middle of the night, but their voice subsided after they recognized the darkly clad man on their porch. In an instant he knew that it was you. Kaz would know that voice everywhere.

And as his eyes adapted to the glow coming from inside the house, this assumption proved to be right. You were half-hidden by the door, a defensive stance that you had very likely adopted from your years spent in the Barrel. He noted that you hadn’t changed one bit. Of course, you looked a bit more mature than the last time he had seen you, but he didn’t miss the way your expression and mannerisms were almost identical to what he remembered.

“Kaz?” The tone of your voice was so faint that he almost didn’t hear you saying his name. You opened up a bit more, angling your upper body to be a bit closer to him, whilst still remaining inside the hallway. It wasn’t too unexpected that you would be hesitant to greet him, especially since it had been quite a while since you had gotten any sign of life from him.

He wanted to answer. To say something. Maybe even to apologize, but the words didn’t dare to leave his mouth. Every intricate dialogue option he had carefully crafted out in his head completely disappeared upon seeing you. He could have guessed that this would hurt, however, the upset look on your face felt like a dagger had been thrust into his back.

“Y/N…”

“What are you doing here?” Your voice almost broke on the last syllable. You really thought that you would never see him again. He could’ve been just another corpse on the Reaper’s Barge for all you knew. But he was here - alive and as far as you could see, unharmed. “Saints, what happened? You completely ignored all of my letters! Do you have any idea how worried I’ve been?”

“I…”

“And now you show up at my door - in the middle of the night, I might add - looking like a wet dog! I really can’t believe you, Kaz.” You didn’t yell. You didn’t even raise your voice. But he knew damn well that it took everything in you to not completely go off on him. And you would be totally justified to do so. He waited for you to close the door and never speak to him again. Instead, you only shook your head in a mixture of disbelief and something akin to…relief? One of your hands let go off the door you had been clinging to, moving forward just enough to grab his coat and pull him inside and out of the rain. He didn’t even have time to protest before he was standing inside your hallway. “Saints, come inside before you catch a cold.”

He watched as you gave him a bit more space, still surprisingly mindful of his touch aversion. A small smile crept on his face as he saw the small knife you had kept hidden in the hand that rested behind the door. It was quickly hoisted into a specifically made bracket next to one of the sidetables next to you. You really hadn’t changed at all.

“Y/N,” He started, thinking that you would shut him down again, but you only stared at him expectantly. “I can try to explain if you want me to. If you’ll have me for that long, that is.”

“You better give me the lengthiest explanation you got, Brekker.” You chuckled, turning on your heels and walking towards your living room. An unspoken invitation for him to follow you.

The warmth emitting from your house made him painfully aware of how soaked his clothes actually were. The layers upon layers of clothing almost seemed to weigh him down, and it also did not manage to improve the pain in his legs. He almost flinched as another burning sting of hurt shot through his body. And he really thought he did his best to hide it, though nothing ever managed to slip past you.

“Sit down. I’ll get you some dry clothes and numbing cream.”

“You don’t have-”

“I have to or I’ll go mad watching you shake like a damn willow tree. Now sit.”

And sit he did.

You got him fresh clothes and numbing cream, as you promised, observing him intently as he applied the cold substance on his bad leg. After everything, he eventually had to begin talking. He had never particularly been good at explaining his feelings. It had never been relevant for him to do so after all. But he knew what was at stake, and he would not let this chance go to waste again.

“I missed you, Kaz.” Your statement caught him completely off guard, stealing any further words from his mind. “Even though you were being a huge asshole and I thought that I would never see you again.”

“I missed you too.” The words left his mouth before he could even consider the implications of what he just said. Coming out of his mouth, they weren’t just meant as an empty pleasantry. “I’d always come back to you.”

#kaz brekker x reader #grishaverse x reader #grishaverse fanfic #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker imagine

[slightlyunconventional]

PLEASE more Sick sneezy k//az b//rekker if you can!

absolutely anon! it would be an honour

keep the s&b/soc requests coming guys i love it

i present:

tired (alternatively, "in which k/az b/rekker and his cold-ridden self pine over i/nej and learn why stifling is in fact bad")

A soft knock at the door. “Can I come in?”

Kaz’s eyes flickered open, clouded by exhaustion. He hadn’t slept in days, and as a result of this seemed to be fighting to stay conscious every waking moment. Running a leather-clad hand across his face and sighing, Kaz replied to the inquiring voice.

“Now’s… not a good time.”

He could almost feel Inej's disapproving frown. Another sigh escaped him. “Give me five minutes.”

Saints, the things I do for these people, he thought, shaking his head at no one in particular. Kaz sat up in his seat, straightened the cuff his face had slowly been sliding down as he strained to stay awake, and fixed a few stray pieces of hair that had slipped from his pristinely groomed head. He took a single sip from the glass of water on his desk, grateful for its coolness against his sore throat. A quick, tentative dab at his nose with a tissue, then he was up opening the door to Inej.

“Do you need something?” he asked, regarding her with an eyebrow raised.

She ignored his question, instead replying, “How long has it been since you slept?”

Kaz was slightly taken aback by this. Here he’d thought his lack of proper self-care was rather surreptitious, but then he supposed nothing escaped the observant eyes of the Wraith.

“And, yes, I’m referring to those circles under your eyes. You look awful.” Inej added. She folded her arms. Despite the girl’s slight stature, Inej easily managed the look of an intimidatingly concerned mother.

“Thanks,” Kaz said humourlessly, “Seems I’m doing that a lot lately.”

“You know what I meant.”

Of course I did, I just wanted to see you smile.

“You still haven’t answered my question. How long has it-”

Kaz stopped listening as a distasteful buzz took up residence in his sinuses. It had intensified tenfold before Inej had even finished speaking.

“-gGNKTt!”

The tightly-pinched stifle left his head spinning. He blinked back stars as Inej whirled around to face him.

“...What was that?” she asked, tone almost demanding.

Kaz huffed. “Nothing.”

“Do you expect me to believe that?”

He couldn’t reply - his nose burned with the same fiery insistence as moments ago.

“-heh’GNKkxt!”

Despite being contained perfectly between gloved thumb and forefinger, the sneeze still possessed a rather wet quality. It prompted a thick sniffle from Kaz.

“That was a sneeze?” Inej asked incredulously. Kaz saw her holding back a smile and fought not to roll his eyes.

“Yes, if you must know,” he replied, voice already dulled with congestion.

Inej cocked her head to one side. “You shouldn’t stifle them like that, you know. It causes damage.”

If Kaz had five kruge for every time he’d heard that from someone. This time he did roll his eyes. As if I’m not damaged enough, he thought.

“I can’t help it.” A lie.

“Oh, of course you can’t,” Inej teased. “So you’d still do it if, say, I pinned your hands behind your back? Would your dignity be able to survive that?”

Kaz ignored the warmth that rose in his cheeks.

He simply said, “Don’t push it.”

Yet again, before Inej could even think about responding, Kaz was crushing a third sneeze expertly between his fingers.

“hhaH’GNKXxt!”

Inej’s brows furrowed in concern. “That’s not normal,” she said, eyes narrow with worry, “Bless you, by the way, if that even warrants a blessing.”

He sniffed wetly in response, nose reddening by the minute. Inej seemed to clock this as she spoke again.

“You’re sick, aren’t you?” she asked. Kaz couldn’t help but notice the glow cast on her bronze skin by the autumn sunshine. He shook the thought from his mind, then shook his head at Inej.

“I’m fine.”

“Again, do you expect me to believe that? I don’t think “fine” people look as exhausted as you do.” She appeared to think for a moment, head tilted ever so slightly skyward. “It was that ridiculous negotiation from last night, wasn’t it? It was bucketing down all evening. Saints, Kaz, when did this start?”

“I… don’t know.” Another lie. He had known exactly when it started - one telling sneeze muffled clumsily into the towel he used to dry his hair of rainwater. Inej didn’t need to know that, though. She probably still does, somehow, Kaz acknowledged.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You really aren’t acting yourself.”

He scowled halfheartedly. “How am I supposed to act?”

Inej simply sighed. “I’ll leave you to it. Do you need anything?”

Scathing words caught on Kaz’s tongue, his mind eager to push away any and all help he was offered. He bit it back, shook his head.

With a soft, sympathetic smile, she turned to leave, evidently still teeming with worry.

“I’ll come and check on you later.”

Kaz waited for Inej’s footsteps to fade before succumbing to the reignited inferno in his sinuses. He snapped forward with a pair of wrenching sneezes.

“hH’GKKTSCHh! Hah..hUH’kKTSCCHHh!”

Saints, this is going to get old, he thought in frustration.

-

A knock, again, softer this time, though. Kaz lifted his head wearily, rubbing absentmindedly the haze of sleep that had misted his vision. He turned the situation over in his mind, waiting for something to click. Then he realised - he’d been asleep, at his desk, where any wretch could have seen him, done anything to him. The thought made a cold feeling settle in his stomach.

“Kaz? Everything okay?”

The cold thawed a little at the familiar voice. Inej.

He rubbed his eyes tiredly again. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

Kaz didn’t really know if he wanted to face anyone at the moment, but his mind was made up for him when the door creaked slowly open, followed by Inej, who held a cup of something steaming in her graceful hands. “Saints, Kaz, you look even worse.”

“Thanks. What time is it?” he asked, rubbing a hand across his face.

“About nine. In the evening,” replied Inej, voice gentle, doting. A bolt of panic cracked through Kaz. He’d been asleep five hours.

Inej set the cup down on Kaz’s desk in front of him. He regarded it warily.

“It’s chamomile with a spoonful of honey. And a mint leaf - that should help to… clear the airways.”

Kaz still looked puzzled.

Inej sighed exasperatedly. “It’s tea.”

“Tea,” he repeated.

“Yes, yes, I know. Dark and mysterious people only drink the blackest coffee! But that won’t do you any good. This will help you-”

“Thank you.” Kaz said quietly.

“-feel better. Oh.” Inej paused, watching the dark-haired man closely for a moment. “You’re welcome.”

Kaz glanced at his hands, no, at his gloves. He wondered if it would be okay to take them off. She won’t mind, he reminded himself, she’s not like anybody else.

He slid his black gloves weakly from his hands, allowing his own pale, slender fingers to curl around the cup of tea. Warmth seemed to spread throughout him, enough to settle the shivers that kept plaguing him, even for just a minute. He lifted the mug, acutely aware of Inej’s eyes locked on him, on his hands. She’d seen him without his gloves before, many times, but Kaz still recognised her gaze fixated on him every single time. A part of him welcomed it. He’d gaze at her often, too.

Inej appeared to note the way he held the cup so tightly.

“Are you cold?” she blurted without thinking. He looked up at her and raised an eyebrow.

“No.” The third bold-faced lie. He could tell this time she really didn’t believe him.

“Then why are you gripping that mug like it’s the only thing keeping you alive?”

He ignored her, instead lifting said mug to his mouth. Steam wafted into his face, taking both him and his nose by surprise. The humid wisps teased out a sneeze that he was far too exhausted to suppress.

“hhH’gGGKTCHHUHh!”

The mug he was still holding jolted upwards, a sharp motion which mirrored his own snap forward. He wasn’t done. The ferocious tickle refused to back down, and he was left with his face slack, lips curled up in almost a snarl, before the burn climaxed and bent him in on himself with a tearing-

“haH’KZZXSCHiew!”

Kaz didn’t even notice the scalding tea pouring down his wrist.

“Saints, Kaz!” Inej rushed forward, taking the mug from his hands and quickly wiped the hot liquid from his skin and shirt. A glance back at his face told Inej that Kaz still was gearing up for another explosion. By now, his nose was pink, close to red around the rims of his nostrils which flared desperately with every hitch of his breath. Two more sneezes volleyed through him, seeming to rock his entire form.

“hAH’GKKSCHHh! huh-HUH-HH’GKKTSCHEW!”

The double left Kaz panting, gasping for breath, eyes brimming with tears. All attempts at stifling had gone straight out of the window. He looked up at Inej, whose face was full of concern. Justified, I suppose, he thought.

“Do you still want to tell me you’re “fine”, Kaz?” Inej asked in disbelief.

“...It’s not as bad as it looks?” he tried.

“Oh, it very much is,” Inej said sternly. Then, her face softened. Kaz was still knuckling his nose with one pale hand. “Don’t fuss at it so much,” she said, “you’ll just keep making yourself sneeze.”

He huffed, not unlike an annoyed infant. Inej handed him a small travel-pack of soft tissues.

“Here, these should help. And you still look cold. You ought to put on an extra layer or two.” Inej didn’t expect the submissive nod she received in response. “I know how much you hate being coddled, so I’ll let you be. But I will be checking on you every hour, okay? Don’t do anything stupid.”

Inej was sure she didn’t imagine the sound of Kaz’s head collapsing into his arms as she left. She couldn’t resist a glance back into the room, and, sure enough, he was already fast asleep. The door clicked quietly behind her as she tiptoed down the stairs.

#YAAAAYYY more k/az fic #who cheered #well enjoy!! #i quite like this one #im a fan of the spellings tbh i like my spellings in this one #well anyway #s/ix of cr/ows #snz #snzblr #snz kink #snz blog #snzario #snzfic #sneeze kink #sneezefic #sneeze fic

[sankta-starkova]

BURN IT DOWN

017; RESCUE MISSION

previous chapter | next chapter | masterlist

summary: the one where harlow kaz realised that the world was going to end but she decided to try and save it with the people that she cared about, no matter what it takes

wordcount: 1.6k

The second that Cassian got back, Harlow was waiting for him at the entry door, like she always had. She stood in her usual spot by the archway, waiting to see him again.

When he got off, his eyes scanned the crowd that had began to grow around the landing slip and the second he noticed her, his face lit up.

They had tried to keep their relationship on the down low but whenever one of them would get back from a mission safely, they had to see each other.

They had been on a mission on some random planet when somebody has bombed the ship they were going to land on.

They hid away for 13 days before somebody rescued them but at that point, they had ended up admitting everything to one another, about how they felt.

And since that moment he hadn't been able to let go. Every mission that they went on, he made sure she was safe over him and it changed the way they fought but also made them better.

Harlow pushed through the crowd of people congratulating the successful mission, her eyes locked on his as she tried to get to him, to check if he's okay.

When she made it there, they just stared at each other for a second, smiles on their faces. They were always glad that they managed to make it another day in the rebellion.

"You okay?" Harlow asked, reaching up to place a hand on his face, thumb brushing over the stubble on his cheek.

"I'm good," he said, placing his hand over hers and pulling it over his lips, pressing a kiss against it.

"You've got to go debrief don't you?" She questioned and he nodded.

"I'll meet you in your office afterwards," Cassian said. His hand moving to go under her chin, pulling her in for a soft kiss, "I won't be long, but this is a big thing,"

When he got back, she was waiting for him in her office as she wrote down something in a file. He stood at the doorway, a smile on his face as he watched her work.

"You would have made a great politician you know," he said and she looked up, shaking her head.

"Nemik would have made a good politician, I made a good wing man," she said, putting her pen down as she leant back in her chair.

He knew that it still made her upset to think about Nemik but his memory was what kept her going, what kept her focused on th mission ahead because otherwise, his death was in vain.

"Do you have your mission report Captain?" She asked and he smirked, holding out the file.

She took it, scanning through the pages to get caught up on the mission. Her eyes went wide when she noticed something in the writing.

"Galen Erso, he has a daughter?" She questioned and he nodded.

Harlow narrowed her eyes at the paper. This could change everything, especially with the revelation of a planet killer that he had helped build.

"What's her name?" Harlow asked and Cassian stood there for a second, thinking.

"Jyn Erso, but she's been missing for years, presumed dead," he explained.

"Missing?" She questioned, eyes wide. Nobody in the galaxy ever really went missing, especially someone as important as her.

They knew that if they wanted to find out what the rebel pilot knew then they were going to have to find him. The only person who may be able to help is Galen Ersos daughter. 

"Okay, I will call Sarithra in the tech department and hope she can find something on this girl," Harlow said, taking a note on a piece of paper and sticking it onto the wall.

Cassian walked over, holding his hand out. She smiled, taking it and allowing him to pull her up from her seat behind the desk.

After years of friendship and falling in love, he was one of the only people she'd allow see her like this. She had left behind the days of no affection and a constant feeling of melancholy for him.

Sure, they were living in the worst time in history with the imperials watching their every move but they had each other and it was enough.

"Did you get checked out at the infirmary?" Harlow asked, a hand coming up to rest against his cheek, her forefinger brushing over a small cut by his eyebrow.

He nodded, hands falling down to rest on her hips, pulling her close. That was his favourite way to hold her, it made him feel like she was safe in his hands.

"I wasn't hurt too bad, you should see the stormtroopers," he said with his signature smirk.

She shook her head with a smile, "What do you think about this planet killer?" She questioned.

Cassian sighed, averting his eyes from hers to think before looking back down at her, "I think this is big, that the empire has created a weapon unlike any other," he explained.

Harlow could see the turmoil and fear in his eyes at the idea of something that would kill entire planets, she probably had the same look in her eyes.

"But I also think that we can't let people get too worried, we have to stay strong for the rebellion," he said.

"And what about you?" Harlow questioned, her hand reaching back to cup the back of his head, "You don't have to be strong for me,"

"I'm always going to be strong for you Low," he said with a sigh, "But of course I'm worried, this could be the end of everything,"

"Even when we're gone, the rebellion will always be here," she said, nodding her head.

He reached down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, "I hope we get to see the end of this war Low," he said with a smile.

He pulled away, taking her hand in his, "Why don't we unpack, go back to our room, rest between missions?" He suggested.

She shook her head, a smirk on her face, "You're just trying to get me into our bedroom," she said.

He chuckled, pulling her hand up and pressing a kiss to her knuckles, "So what if I am?" He questioned, looking up at her through his eyebrows.

She scoffed, "You're an idiot Cassian Andor," she said, still allowing him to pull her into the direction he wanted. He could take her anywhere and he knew it.

Harlow stood in front of the group, gun slung over her shoulders and jacket tied up to keep out from the cold.

They were on Wobani and after finding out that Galen Ersos daughter was alive and she had been arrested a while back, she had brought together a group and went out straight away.

Although Cassian disagreed with bringing this girl into the rebellion, he knew that it may be the only chance that they have to contact Saw Gerrera seeing as he disliked most people in the rebell alliance.

"We have one mission guys, don't mess this up. She will fight but we take her with whatever force necessary," she explains, "But if she dies, I'll have your head on a stick,"

The men all looked over at her. They trusted her as the leader and they all nodded on agreement with her battle plans.

Ever since she had joined the rebellion when it was in its infancy, she had been a strong force to he reckoned with and everybody believed in her.

"Lets go then, come on," She said, the group rushing towards the cart after it had stopped.

She snuck round, slitting the throat of the man in the front seat before heading back, wiping the blade on her trousers.

Melshi held up the bomb and she nodded, watching as he placed it onto the door, holding the detonator in his hand.

He counted to three, holding his fingers up to count before reaching zero and pressing the button on the detonator, the door blowing off of its handles.

Her and Melshi went in first, shooting the three stomtrooprs in the room before looking around at the different prisoners.

"Hallik! Liana Hallik!" Harlow called out, looking around to try and find the girl they needed.

They had figured out that Jyn Erso was going by the pseudonym Liana Hallik since she was in prison and they had heard that she was here.

When the girl looked up at them, they knew that she was the one they were looking for and she nodded at Melshi who walked over, the key in his hand.

"You wanna get out of here?" He asked and the girl nodded. He unlocked the bolt holding her in and the second he did that, she sprung into action.

Jyns legs jumped up, knocking him over  onto the floor as she knocked over one of the other men, punching him in the face as he fell into the wall

Harlow jumped forward, her legs wrapping round Jyns waist and knocking her onto the floor, holding her down.

"Stay still," she said with a struggle, pulling one of the knives from her pocket and holding it on Jyns throat.

She stopped struggling as much and Harlow reached one hand up, K2 coming over and grabbing Jyn from her, holding her in his robotic arm.

"Congratulations, you're being rescued, please do not resist," K2 said, holding her still so she didn't move. 

Jyn looked over at Harlow who stood over her, catching her breath. "Lets get her out of here, move, move, move," she said and Jyn was left wondering ehere she was going

#burn it down; cassian andor #cassian andor fanfiction #cassian andor #cassian andor fic #cassian andor x fem!oc #cassian andor x kaz!oc #cassian andor x oc #cassian andor x reader #diego luna #star wars #cassian andor fanfic #cassian andor fluff #cassian andor angst #star wars series #star wars angst #star wars fic #star wars fanfiction

[lab-trash]

Villain Arcane

This episode is gay as shit (kase)

Chapter List

Chase had been gone for a few days now. Skylar and Kaz have been in the most pieces by far, often trading off who’s worse— with Bree very close behind them. 

Oliver felt guilty admitting that he preferred it when Chase wasn’t around. He didn’t admit it to anyone other than himself, and he’d never said the words out loud, but he knew it. 

If he said that to the team, he’d be shunned. Even by his best friend. 

A big part of him felt extremely bitter towards Chase. Stealing his best friend and the girl he loved. Who the hell did Chase think he was? He didn’t deserve that; Oliver was there first. 

It was just easier without Chase there. 

Or at least it would be if they weren’t so occupied with getting him back.

They’d be trying to eat lunch and all of the sudden someone would start talking about Chase again. He’d only been gone for a few days; why did it matter. 

They were eating their usual take-out dinner when they heard something staticky. 

“Uh, th-this is Chase. Come in Elite Force, come in,” He said. Kaz immediately scrambled for his radio, prepared to respond. “Actually, don’t. Marcus will know if you respond.” He sighed. “He isn’t hurting me. If you’re worried about that.” Kaz let out a sigh of relief. He went again to press the communicator button, but Chase spoke again. “Kaz, I’m telling you, don’t come in. Just listen.”

Kaz let out an airy, broken laugh, even as tears brimmed his eyes. 

“Marcus shut off my GPS, and I’m in bionic-blocking shackles. So… I don’t know where I am. And I can’t even use my bionic eye to check,” He said. “I’ll report as soon as I can.” He huffed out a quick sigh. 

“Let’s see, what other questions will you have… Uh, yes, I’m being fed, and I’m drinking water.” He laughed a bit. “Reminds me of before we left though. Left the lab.”

Bree moved in closer at the mention. 

“Marcus isn’t… he isn’t being terrible. I thought he was just going to kill me, but he hasn’t even hurt me. So, I’m okay for now. You have time to stop this.

“You guys are smart, so I’m sure that you guys are figuring something out. I trust you guys. I trust you. We’re a team. This is Chase Davenport, over and out.”

“No, wait, don’t go…” Kaz spoke before he could stop himself. “How much progress have we made with Marcus?” Kaz asked.

He took a new posture, a new position. It was weird. It was like suddenly he was the leader. And not the same way he was on that first night, not someone just spitting out random, half-assed ideas. Someone who was confident and brave because if he wasn’t, it’d hinder the whole team. 

“We’ve found his programming, but it’s protected; we can’t see his location right now— but we’re getting there,” Bree answered, as she’d been leading the hacking expedition the most. 

“How soon do you think?”

“Uh, four days max?” Bree pitched. Kaz nodded and Oliver could notice the heavy way he was breathing.

Not super quick, not panic attack fast, but hefty breaths. Not very long breaths that sucked in loads of air. 

“Okay, what should we do until then?” 

“We can try to track the radio's location!” Skylar exclaimed. “That should be easier, it’d be done a lot faster. And if it isn’t then, who cares, we’ll have the backup.”

“Yes! Bree, give your radio to them,” Kaz demanded. 

“What? Why me?” Bree asked.

“Because Skylar and I keep ours on hand at all times and Oliver’s is broken,” Kaz huffed. Bree rolled her eyes, but left into the hyperlift anyway. 

“I’m gonna get dinner,” Skylar said. “And you’re eating tonight,” She added, clearly directed toward Kaz. 

“Yeah, yeah,” He said, waving her off. She sighed before running off. 

Kaz did eat that night. Hearing Chase, confirmation that he was alive helped the stress. That didn’t mean that he was able to sleep that night.

Just like the nights before, he was sort of drifting in and out of tense and stressful sleep. 

He’d wake up every hour or so, check the time, and sigh in the knowledge that he’d have to go back to sleep. 

2:36 a.m.

"Hey, uh… I'm pretty sure you're listening…“ Kaz immediately reached for his communicator, wanting to hear every word. He could hear Chase sigh. "Fuck, I hope you're listening. I just wanted you to know I love you. I know you… probably think that I don't— that I love someone else, but I don't. I love you. My life used to feel so pointless, but-but now I have you. It doesn't feel pointless anymore.

“Please… save me. I-I– I want to say it to your face. I want to see your face when I tell you that I love you. Please, let me see your face again…"

“I’ll save you…” Kaz breathed, half happy and half terrified. 

“I wish it didn’t take getting kidnapped to tell you that.”

Kaz laughed lightly.

Kaz seemed happy. Oliver was not. 

Chase was probably talking to Skylar. Who else would he be talking to? And Kaz seemed happy about that, as if Oliver didn’t have feelings for Skylar for years.

Admittedly, Oliver had been losing feelings for Skylar as of late, but it was like… the bro code. Don’t move in on your friend’s girl. 

Not that Oliver and Chase were particularly close, and especially not close enough to be considered ‘bros,’ but teammates felt like mandatory bros. 

Not only that, but Chase was the one who was always preaching about interteam relationships being unsafe. 

Kaz didn’t know Oliver was awake when this radio transmission rang out. Oliver didn’t want him to.

#lab rats elite force #mighty med #lab rats #chase davenport #kase #kaz mm #kaz lref #oliver mm #oliver lref #oliver is real stupid #villain arcane #archive of our own

[wolfofwritingstreet]

Angst angst angst angst angst (for the crows in general)

Next adventure 

Prompt: You take a hit that can’t be healed, and the crows wait with you for the inevitable to come.

Tone: Angst + sad

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of death and light reference to injury

Word count: 1,069

A/N: Requests open, hope you enjoy my first angst post:)

---------------------

CROWS X READER(PLATONIC)(NOT GENDER SPECIFIC)

“They’re dying, Kaz.” Inej whispered, thinking you couldn’t hear from what would now be your death bed. The sheets were stained in your sins, deep crimson red that coloured the hands of every single one of the worried crows in the room.

Jesper was consoling Nina, who wouldn’t look at you anymore. She had the most blood on her, having tried to use her grisha science to stop the on pour of blood. Then she moved to the pain when your order to do that finally got through to Kaz, you knew he was being stubborn about what was going to happen. Everyone could see it; you were dying.

“How you doing, sweet cheeks?” Jesper smiled, his thumb drawing circles on the revolver at his hip. His eyes jumping from your tired eyes to the wound that punctured deep, hitting and violating the important bits that had kept you alive until now.

“Never better, Jes. Never better.” You’d said your prayers to Inej’s saints, ate the cold waffle Nina had handed to you, and accepted your fate when the room went silent. Now everyone stood waiting for you to pass. The act of dying was painfully slow, ironic considering how fast you’d lived your short life. “Where’s Wylan?”

“Pissing.” You smiled, taking Jespers hand with your shaking one to stop his anxious tics.

“I’m alright, Jes.”

“You’re going to die.” Kaz stated bluntly from his spot, ignoring the glares that hit him from each corner of the room. “Nothing about this is alright.”

“I’ve repaid my investments, haven’t I?” He rose a brow, kruge stacks falling into his vision as he tallied up how much you had paid back, before giving a slow reluctant nod.

“You have, and more.”

“Always the overachiever.” You hit Jesper with a weak force, dropping his hand as you fell into a round of coughing. When your hand dropped it was covered in the same fate that coated your bed.

“Let me try and fix something.” Nina offered, stepping forward as she noticed the blood, yet still avoided your eyes.

“Nina, no. It’s ok.” You placed your hand under the duvet, just as Wylan walked in looking visually more pale than when the day had started.

“I can fix this.” She moved closer, raising her hands.

“Nina Zenik. Don’t you dare.”

“But why?” She cried, tugging at her hair. “I can help you.”

“You can’t. None of you can now, it’s my time to go.”

“I’m sorry, y/n” Inej said, and you shrugged trying not to think of the way that the world had now tinged with black. The countdown was almost over, no matter how much any of you had tried to slow it.

“It’s not your fault, Nej. I told you it was clear, we were all doing our-“ You coughed again, this time the blood sprayed in front of you and down your wobbling chin.

“It shouldn’t be like this, not after we lost Matthias. This isn’t fair.” Wylan mumbled, resting his head on Jesper’s arm.

“We don’t live fair lives.” You reminded them after composing yourself. “The barrel is our home, but it isn’t a fair home. We weren’t dealt good cards, but we met each other and I think those cards were pretty fucking good. But, even Kaz can’t slight this hand.” Kaz said nothing, the young boss a boy of few words and this failure would sting his business and ego for a long time.

“Can’t you just hate this for us, stop sounding peaceful.” Nina ordered, her eyes glistening.

“I do hate this, believe me I hate this. I still have teen in my age and I’m on my death bed. I hate this with all my heart. But I’d want nothing more than to die surrounded by my family.”

“Don’t go, I can’t do this without you and Matthias.” She took your hand, and you squeezed the warm soft hand, letting it melt into yours so it felt like both of you were living and safe.

“You aren’t alone, Nina. You still have the crows, wether present or not. I’ll miss you dearly, have some waffles in my honour tonight. My only wish is you don’t eat them with another brawler, at least give it a week, otherwise that would hurt my feelings.”

“I’m going to replace you out of spite.” She retorted, wiping her cheeks with her spare hand.

“Alright, Nins. Move over, so we can say goodbye.” Jesper gently pulled her away, and you dropped her hand for the last time in this life. “This will be the best sleep of your life, sweet cheeks.” He bent down, kissing your sticky forehead gently.

“I’ve waited years to have a good sleep, I think I’ve earned this.”

“No need to brag about it.”

“I’ll miss you, y/n.” Wylan pushed Jesper away, leaning in to hug you with rigid movements so he wouldn’t brush your injury.

“Go blow up some rich assholes for me.”

“Whilst they are asleep?” You smiled at the memory, having being grouped with the two boys during the biggest heist of your lives.

“No, do it when they’re awake so you can see their faces.”

“You’re evil.”

“Through and through.” You finally let a tear slip as Wylan’s face crumpled despite trying hard not to, you didn't need to upset them anymore.

“Ok, Wy. Let the happy couple say goodbye.” Kaz didn’t move as close as the others, he didn’t need to, you had known the boy years to see how he parted with the dead and dying.

“The crows will miss you.” Kaz would never admit he would miss you, he didn’t like goodbyes.

“Don’t let anyone from the barrel touch my stuff, sell it to foreigners. Don’t let their grubby hands get it.” He gave a nod, edging closer to the door but only got as far as to lean against the doorframe before he stopped.

“You were a good friend to me, Kaz. I hope the world gives you unlimited kruge.” Your eyes flickered to Inej, who perched lightly on the end of your bed. “And I hope you find someone who can love you, and all your cruel quirks.” His mouth opened and closed, the words unsaid made you nod in response. It was all you needed him to say.

“May the saints guide you through your next journey.” Inej ran her hands down the duvet, smoothing it out. Your vision was dark now, and you couldn’t find the energy to move your head anymore, instead lay like a vegetable awaiting the inevitable.

“Yes, Captain Ghafa. Take a knife to those fuckers throats, in my name and yours and for all those women and children. Go down fighting, Nej, always go down fighting” Your words slurred together, and another tear slipped down your face. It was time.

“Goodbye, y/n”

“See you in the morning.” The darkness and delirium took over, and your eyes closed against it. The barrel was fed again, and the world continued exactly the same as the crows one by one filed out your room to call for clean-up.

Kaz left first to run the Crow Club.

Inej left second to take to the seas.

Wylan left third to blow up some rich assholes.

Jesper left fourth to aid Wylan in blowing up some rich assholes.

Nina left last to find her next mission.

And you and Matthias waited patiently, for the crows to join you for your next big adventure.

----------------------

Links:

Main master-list --> Here 

Six of Crows master-list --> Here

#six of crows #kaz brekker imagine #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x reader #inej ghafa x reader #inej x reader #jesper x reader #Jesper fahey x reader #Wylan x reader #wylan van eck #six of crows imagine #nina zenik #nina zenik x reader

[triptuckers]

Fix her - Kaz Brekker

Request: nope Pairing:  kaz brekker x reader Summary:  kaz sent you out to gather information, and you always return on time with the intel he needs. well, maybe not always. Warnings: angst, language, mentions of BLOOD, BRUISES, INJURIES, typical soc stuff, slight six of crows and crooked kingdom spoilers Word count:  2.2K A/N: hello my darlings it is I and I have read almost every book leigh bardugo has written in the past month. I am now hopelessly in love with jesper, kaz and nikolai. I'll be updating my character list soon! I still have a few wips but I don’t have any motivation / inspiration for those. so have my first kaz brekker x reader instead! enjoy reading :)

It was a rather easy job, really. Kaz had received word that the Dime Lions had an important meeting coming up. Because he always wanted to know what exactly was going on in the Barrel and with its gangs, he wanted someone to listen in on said meeting.

Normally, he would send Inej. She was the obvious choice when it came to gathering information. But she was still recovering from a rather nasty cut in her side, and so you had offered to go.

Inej insisted she could go. But all it took was you raising your eyebrows when she moved to sit up, only to wince and flop back down onto the bed. Though he didn’t quite like it, Kaz had assigned you to the job. 

No one said it out loud, but everyone knew there was something between you and Kaz. Neither of you had spoken about it. There were just a lot of lingering glances, smiles from you and what you think was almost a smile from Kaz, and you even had stolen his coat once when you had lost your own. He didn’t seem to mind though.

When you had left that evening to listen to the Dime Lions meeting from the shadows, Kaz had sent you a look that you knew all too well. He reserved it only for you. It was him telling you to be safe. You’d respond with a wink that basically meant always am.

The rest of the crows started a card game to pass the time as they waited for you to come back. They didn’t worry, you were always careful and are considered one of the most dangerous criminals in Ketterdam. They knew whatever happened, you could handle yourself.

But after Jesper had lost four rounds of card games, the tension began to rise between them. Most meetings typically didn’t last this long. Still, no one said anything as they started their fifth game. You would show up eventually, probably bringing valuable insight with you.

After two more games, there was still no sign of you. Nina was the first one to speak up.

‘She should have been back by now.’ she says, absently looking out the window into the dark street. 

‘Have a little faith, Zenik.’ says Kaz, though on the inside he was filled with worry. He shook it off and focused on the game again.

More than once he’d scolded himself for allowing you to get this close to him. For putting so much trust in you, especially after what happened the last time he’d really trusted someone. But he couldn’t help it. It was like he was drawn to you like Jespers trigger finger was to his revolvers. He couldn’t help it.

Still, he knew your skills. He knew you were smart, and a fighter. Whatever was going on with you out there, he had no doubt you’d show up at the door in a few moments, cheerfully announcing what good intel you’d gathered and wondering how many card games you’d missed.

But you still didn’t show. And one by one, they all lost their interest in the card game. They fell silent and looked out the window or fiddled with their empty glasses. The tension in the room grew. Until Kaz suddenly stood.

‘Finish the game.’ he says. ‘I’ll go and look for her.’

‘I’ll come with you.’ says Jesper, getting up as well.

‘No.’ says Kaz, earning a frown from Jesper. ‘Just me.’ he says. And with that, he pulled on his coat, grabbed his cane and was out the door.

‘Right.’ says Jesper, sitting back down. ‘Anyone fancy another game? I have a feeling I’m gonna win this one.’

They played three more games. They were tired, and it was well past midnight. Still, none of them went upstairs to their rooms. Too anxious to play any more cards or to even have a normal conversation, they settled for silence and more drinks. 

Jesper was fiddling with his rings and bouncing his leg. Nina had her elbows on the table and her chin in her hands. Matthias was trying to not look at Nina. And Wylan was attempting to build a house out of the cards. 

Finally, they heard the sound of the door opening. All of their heads shot up and turned to look who it was. 

Kaz stumbles awkwardly through the door, carrying you in his arms. Nina gasps softly and Jesper murmurs ‘Saints’ as their eyes land on your body. 

It’s bruised and bloody, and your eyes are shut. Was Kaz too late?

‘Clear the table!’ says Kaz loudly, limping toward it with you in his arms. 

Instantly, Matthias and Jesper seize the glasses and cards off the table as Wylan pulls some of the chairs back to make room. Kaz lays your beaten up body on the table and turns to Nina.

‘Help her.’ says Kaz.

But Nina is looking at you body, bruised and bloodied, nothing like the cheerful girl that buys her waffles and laughs as she teases Matthias. It’s almost impossible to find a spot on your body that doesn’t have a wound on it. There’s slashes from knives everywhere, bruising around your neck and the side of your face, and to top it off, blood is slowly leaking out of a bullet wound in your leg.

An expression of horror is written across Nina’s face, her hands pressed against her mouth. 

‘Nina.’ Kaz presses on. ‘I said help her.’

‘Kaz, I don’t think-’ stammers Nina. ‘Come on, fix her!’ says Kaz loudly, surprised of how much anxiety can be heard in his voice. Fix her, he thinks, because I need her to fix me.

‘I can try but-’ ‘Do it.’ says Kaz and then he turns away, he can’t bear to look at you any longer. Memories of Jordie flood over him, mingled with memories of you. Your laugh, how he fights his own smile every time you wink at him or send a flirty comment his way, the way you smell. How you look at him when he catches your eyes. 

Kaz shuts his eyes, attempting to drown the memories out. Taking deep breaths, he tries to focus on the voices behind him.

‘Jesper get the bullet out of her leg.’ says Nina. 

‘Just pull it out?’ questions Jesper.

‘Saints, you’re Grisha, Jesper, pull the fucking bullet out!’ says Nina in a loud voice laced with fear.

After a while of listening to Nina’s murmuring and instructions to others, Kaz finally turns back around to look at you. A wave of nausea hits him unexpectedly and he swallows hard. 

Nina had treated most of the wounds, with Jesper’s help. But your entire body is still covered in bruises, and now bandages as well. Nina’s cleaned the dried blood off of your face, but your arms and legs are still covered with it. 

They’re all nervously looking at Kaz.

‘I don’t know if she’s going to-’

‘Don’t.’ says Kaz, interrupting her. He needed to think straight. He needed someone to help him focus. Normally, you’d be the one to do so. But you’re in no condition to softly talk to him to reassure him everything is going to be alright. He needed to be his own soothing voice tonight.

‘Matthias.’ he says. ‘Bring her up to my room. Nina, go with him, see if there’s anything else you can do for her. Jesper, get Inej up to speed. Wylan, clean this mess up before someone notices.’

Without waiting for their reactions, Kaz walks up the stairs to his floor. Several moments later, followed by Matthias, who is carrying you, and Nina and Jesper. Jesper disappears into Inej’ room, while Matthias and Nina continue to walk the stairs to get to Kaz’ floor. 

When they arrive, Matthias carefully places you on Kaz’ bed as he was instructed. For a while, the three of them look at you. Until Matthias and Nina go to their rooms as well, leaving Kaz alone with you.

None of them had questioned why he insisted Matthias brought you to his room and not your own. Of course, they were dying to find out exactly what was going on between you and Kaz, but they all knew tonight was not the night to push him.

As he looks at you, Kaz feels the strong urge to touch you. Lay his hand on your cheek, to see if it’s still warm. But he can’t. Instead, he merely pulls out a chair and sits down next to the bed. He lets his eyes travel over your body, wondering how much pain you’re in, and who the hell was responsible for it. 

He needed you to wake up. He needed you to tell him who did this so he could send his biggest most muscular members of the Dregs to them. Kaz wanted them to hurt the way they had hurt you. 

His mind is running at an alarming speed. But eventually, even Kaz can’t fight his tired body anymore, and he falls asleep in an uncomfortable position in his chair.

From that night on, he instructed that you shouldn’t be left alone. He doesn’t want you to wake up and realise you’re on your own. The next day, it’s business as usual. The members of the Dregs are coming and going like they always do. The familiar flow of people helps to take everyone’s mind off things, but as soon as they’re by your side, they remember. 

Nina had tried her best to heal you, but it still took you almost a week to wake up.

When you wake up, your first thought is that your entire body feels way heavier than it’s supposed to. You try to open your eyes but it’s like your eyelids are made of lead. After a couple more tries, you finally open them.

You take in the room, and realise it’s not your own. Kaz. 

Why would you be in Kaz’ room? Why aren’t you in your own room? And why does your body feel so damn heavy?

And then all of the memories flood back. Like a tsunami, they catch your breath in your throat, making it hard to breathe. You try to inhale deeply, but it’s like your throat is sealed shut. You start to panic when you notice you can’t breathe. 

Then a pair of hands land on your shoulders and gently push you back onto the bed. Whoever it is, is talking softly to you. You close your eyes and try to steady your breathing. 

Then the voice yells out, but from much farther away, like they’re standing in the doorway, and not next to the bed.

‘Kaz! Nina! Get up here!’

It’s Jesper. 

You try to ask him what’s going on, but it’s still hard to breath normally. You try to focus on something else. Jesper’s voice trying to calm you down, his eyes looking into yours, but nothing’s helping. 

Then you hear a sound you know all too well. A familiar stumbling, of someone walking up the stairs with a cane. 

Seconds later, Kaz rushes into the room and roughly shoves Jesper away, taking his place next to the bed.

‘Who did this to you?’ he says. 

His voice is that familiar rasp, and normally you love it. But now it just makes your head hurt. You shut your eyes and softly shake your head, trying to drown the sound out. 

‘Y/N, who did this to you?’ says Kaz, more firmly this time.

‘Kaz.’ says Nina’s voice. ‘Let her rest. You can talk later.’ Nina’s voice is softer, more gentle than Kaz’. You try to focus on it as you open your eyes again.

Kaz is close. He looks down at you and you’re surprised by the look in his eyes. Was that a hint of worry you detected? You open your mouth to say something, but Kaz is faster.

‘Y/N, tell me who did this to you.’ says Kaz.

‘Couldn’t see their faces.’ you manage to say in a hoarse voice. Your throat feels dry and you start to cough. Immediately, Nina moves to get you a glass of water and helps you to drink it. 

‘Did you notice the way they moved? How they walked? Were they Dime Lions? Could you see any tattoos? What about scars? Clothing? Voices?’

Kaz keeps on firing questions at you, but you can’t focus on his words. Your head feels heavy and you feel your eyelids slowly closing again. 

‘Kaz.’ you say softly. ‘Tomorrow.’ 

You expect him to press on, to find out who did this to you. But instead, he looks at you and holds your gaze. He doesn’t say anything, he merely nods at you. You know what it means. Despite his harsh voice and the million questions, he’s glad you’re safe. And the ones who did this to you will pay for it. He’ll make sure of it.

You offer a weak smile before closing your eyes, already drifting off. You hear two pairs of footsteps leave the room, and assume Nina stayed behind to check on you.

The chair next to you gets moved back and you hear how someone sits down in it. When you feel something brush against your fingers, you assume it’s Nina checking your pulse.

But then you feel a gloved thumb on the back of your hand. It slowly rubs over your skin. To most people it wouldn’t mean anything. But to you, it meant the world. A tiny smile reaches the corners of your mouth, as you fall asleep. 

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Jo

#whooo first grishaverse fic! #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows #Kaz Brekker x reader #Kaz Brekker x you #Kaz Brekker fanfiction #Kaz Brekker fanfic #Kaz Brekker fanfics #Kaz Brekker fic #Kaz Brekker fics #Kaz Brekker oneshot #Kaz Brekker oneshots #Kaz Brekker imagine #Kaz Brekker imagines #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfics #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fics #shadow and bone oneshot #shadow and bone onshots

[bi-bard]

How Did We Get So Good at Dismantling These Hearts? - Kaz Brekker Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: How Did We Get So Good at Dismantling These Hearts?

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Reader

Based On: Hourglass

Word Count: 1,219 words

Warning(s): mention of murder

Summary: Kaz gets word of a new job for the Crows. On the surface, it appeared to be nothing other than a normal job. However, when he tells the crew, (Y/n) has a reaction that immediately catches his attention. He just needs to find out why.

Author's Note: I changed this story because the original one was alarmingly similar to the May stories.

Part Two of "June" [Release Date: 7/5/2023]

Part Three of "June" [Release Date: 7/7/2023]

YEARBOOK - SLEEPING AT LAST WRITING CHALLENGE MASTERLIST

-------------------

If any of the Crows had noticed me tense, then none of them spoke up about it.

Not at the time.

Kaz had gathered all of us together, telling us about a new job that he apparently couldn't turn away. Nothing felt strange about it. It all seemed normal... our version of normal, anyway.

Some plan for a heist, a good pay... it was exactly what our crew was meant to love.

And I did. I loved working with the Crows. The idea of having a new job made me grin a bit to myself.

And then, I heard my mother's name come out of Kaz's mouth.

My shoulders tensed a bit. I had to physically stop myself from drawing them up. I did my best to take a subtle deep breath, desperate to return to normal. Nothing would stop my heart from racing and my leg from bouncing.

I was watching Kaz as he spoke, but I couldn't hear him. My ears were filled with buzzing as my mind played back every memory that I had buried for all too long.

The first thing I heard was Kaz dismissing us for the day.

I was the first person to stand up and walk out. Maybe I had been a little too fast on my way out. Maybe I had pushed the chair away a little too hard. I don't know.

All that I could think of at the time was going home.

I didn't notice anyone paying any mind to me.

It wasn't until that night that I would even know that anyone had looked at me in some way other than normal.

I was pacing my small room, mind still racing when there was a knock on my door.

I took a breath before walking over. In my state of distractedness, I didn't think much before pulling the door open. I found Kaz standing on the other side of the door.

"All this time with the Crows and you still open your door with no attempt to check who could be on the other side," he said. There was the smallest hint of a grin on his face, letting me know that this wasn't him genuinely scolding me.

"Did you come here to inform me of your new passion for comedy," I asked.

"I'm here to talk about the job."

"Much less exciting," I replied.

Kaz didn't reply, merely raising an eyebrow at me and nodding toward the inside of my place. I took a deep breath and stepped to the side, letting him walk in.

It was strange to see Kaz in my home.

I had trouble associating him with something so... comfortable. There was something about Kaz being in a place meant for merely existing that made me pause. It felt like watching an animal exploring a new habitat. It made me wonder how many nights he had spent avoiding his room. How long had he been avoiding falling asleep in his bed? Or simply falling asleep at all?

I moved around him, putting myself between him and the rest of my home. "What did you need to talk about?"

"You have a personal connection to the job," he said. "I need to know what it is."

I scoffed, going to deny it.

He cut me off before I could, "No use denying it. You're not as subtle as you think you are."

There was a long pause.

"I need to know any potential risks that come with this job. Whatever you're hiding is a risk."

"The woman that you're robbing... she's my mother," I explained. "I... ran away... a long time ago."

"Why?"

"My uncle. He killed my brother... He didn't know that I had seen him until after it was over. I had... I had only seen the very end of it. If he had told me that he had just found him like that, then I would have believed him. And then, he told my mother that I did it."

"You were a child."

"He called it an accident," I shrugged. "He played the part well. That was when I knew that he had done it. My mother hated me. He threatened to kill her if I ever said anything... because killing me would be too easy. I had to run. Now, he is going to inherit everything that my mother has... and nothing is going to stop him."

There was a silence.

I watched as Kaz's eyes scanned me. I couldn't tell if he was trying to see if I was telling the truth or if was merely some kind of assessment of my current state. I blinked away any tears that had built up. I hadn't let myself think about it for years. I forgot how much it hurt.

"I can't have you on the job," Kaz finally said.

"What?"

"It's too dangerous-"

"I can keep my composure on the job, you know that-"

"That's not my concern," he stopped me. "Your uncle knows that you're the only one that knows that truth. Your mother thinks that you killed her son and then ran away. If either one of them sees you, then it will be more than just imprisonment. I am not going to willingly get you killed."

"We have gone on jobs where our lives are in danger," I argued. "Most of them do-"

"Not with such a clear target on our backs."

I took a deep breath. I hated how much I agreed with him. Mainly because I had never once seen him show himself this much care. I had watched him walk into dangerous situations with little to no concern for his own well-being. Part of him had to be aware of that.

"You're off the job."

"Fine," I muttered begrudgingly. "No mourners."

He nodded once. "No funerals."

Kaz turned around to walk back out. He made it to the door before I spoke up.

"Why did you come," I asked. "Why not just sent Inej down here to get information? Or Jesper, even?"

"Your desire for vengeance... it's one that I'm familiar with," he explained. "More than you know... and I will help you get it."

He went to turn away again. His words made me panic.

"Kaz," I stopped him again. "Don't get yourself killed for me."

He didn't respond. He merely looked back at me, waiting for some explanation or request or something.

"I'm not worth it," I said quietly.

He watched me for a few moments longer. I wish I knew what he was looking for. "You don't get to decide that."

He walked out before I could ever question him about that statement.

I furrowed my eyebrows as I stepped forward and locked my door.

I didn't want to make any assumptions or jump to any conclusions, but it was difficult for me to act like I had no desire to do so. Taking me off of the job, the way he spoke, the promise of vengeance in my name... it all gave me pause. Embarrassing pause.

I ran my hands over my face before shaking my head. Jumping to conclusions was foolish. I knew better. His rare empathy was not a sign of anything.

And all I had to do was continue reminding myself of that until I believed it.

-------------------

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#fanfiction #x reader #imagine #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader

[persephones-wren]

hii love, love your fics so I just had to request again! Could request a Kaz andd reader where he says something mean to her without meaning it but shes really sad an stattes crying to jesper and he gets angry and tells Kaz to apologise? Angst with a happy ending,please!! Thanks a ton darling💗💗

Forgiveness (Kaz Brekker x Reader)

thank you for requesting again! school has been kicking my ass, so sorry for how long writing this took, but I hope you like it! :)

Warnings: mentions of catcalling, (small) injury, idk?

Genre: angst to fluff

Word Count: 1910

To say you’ve had a shitty day would’ve been an understatement.

Heading to the White Rose to see Nina, you’d been catcalled multiple times. Maybe you were being dramatic, but the comments felt more scathing than usual, and it had gotten under your skin quicker than you thought it would. You didn’t want to use Kaz’s reputation to scare them off, but it wouldn’t have mattered. You’d still be viewed as a possession, just one that didn’t belong to them.

You had snapped at the last stranger who’d given their perverse ideals of you, and that altercation had left you a lovely slash on your arm from defending yourself. You had temporarily wrapped it up on a scarf, but you knew you would probably have to wrap it with gauze on it when you returned.

When you had asked the clerk where Nina was, he said that he’d seen her leave, but she said nothing to him. Which meant the entire journey here was a waste, and that you’d have to head home without her guaranteed cooperation with the plan your boyfriend was creating.

“Kaz, she’s not there. Clerk said she went out, but he didn’t get where. It was a waste of a trip,” you sigh, throwing down your cloak on a random chair.

Kaz sighs, lowering his head as he writes out another part of the plan. “Really, Y/N? You couldn’t go out and look for her? She told us a couple days ago that she was going to start taking trips to the market at this time. You could’ve found her there.”

“I’m sorry?” you scoff quietly, but try to adjust your tone at the icy stare he gives you. You could’ve said that nicer, sure. “I didn’t think to look for her there because I didn’t know that, Kaz. Are you sure she told us that?”

“Yes, she did. Were you not paying attention?”

“I don’t think I was there,” you refute. “I would’ve remembered if she told me.”

“I don’t have time to talk to people who can’t do their jobs,” he mutters. “Just get out and waste time for now. Let me finish what I’m working on and we’ll find her together later.”

“The hell you mean I can’t do my job?” you protest. “I did what you asked. I went to go look for her, and she wasn’t there. I thought your instructions were not to stray from my path, because you wanted me home quickly and safely.”

“If you had any shred of common sense, then you’d know that I’d only say that because I’m supposed to care about you. I’d take information over your safety.”

You still. What?

He’s supposed to care about you? Does that imply he doesn’t? He would take information over your safety.

Does he want to break up?

Stop being dramatic. Kaz doesn’t play implication games with something like that. He’d tell you outright.

But he wouldn’t care for you if he got what he wanted.

“I-um, oh,” you take a shuddery breath. Your chest feels tight and your eyes are going to water. Kaz hates dealing with over-emotional people. He needs people who can keep their cool, people who can think their way out of things. You need to get out of here before he looks up at you. You’re useless, you’re an idiot, no wonder he said you couldn’t do your job properly.

Too late. He looks up at you, frowning at your silence, but you quickly turn away, still trying to hide your face.

You laugh, and even you can tell that it’s not genuine, just an attempt at trying to hide your wavering voice. “I’m fine, Kaz. Uh- yeah, yeah! We’ll go out later and-” your throat catches as you swallow harshly. “We’ll go out and look for Nina later. See you then.” You quickly brush your tears out of the way, opening the door and stepping out.

Your steps echo down the hall, and you try and find your way to your room through the tears that now stream down your face.

I’d take information over your safety.

You still don’t know if he means it. He’s angry, but- Kaz was usually extremely candid when he was upset.

He might’ve meant every word.

You don’t notice Jes in front of you, and as you pass him, he catches your arm.

You wince, his fingers land right on the slash, and he hastily lets go, looking at you with concern. Everyone was usually about as emotional as a rock in the Barrel. What made you cry like that?

“Y/N, you okay? What happened? Why did you flinch from me? Did I do something wrong?”

His face resembles a kicked puppy, and your heart constricts with slight guilt.

“No, no- it’s not your fault, Jes- your fingers landed right on a slash I got, that’s all.”

He looks at his hands, covered in slight blood. You tug at your soaked-through scarf and look at it, and it looks even worse than when you first got it. Your grimace. So much for getting him to worry less about you. “It looks a lot worse than it actually is.” Your words are frantic and stuttered, but you hope he gets the point.

“How did that happen? I thought with Kaz’s reputation, you would be untouchable. Why isn’t he taking care of you?”

You smile sadly. The mention of Kaz tightens your chest again.  “Guy scrapped with me for a little while after catcalling me. I didn’t want to use Kaz to defend myself- me, with him? He’d be even more of a target. And Kaz is a bit upset with me right now. He doesn’t know what happened.”

“Why the hell would he be upset?”

“I didn’t get the information he wanted,” your voice is small and weak. “And he said he’d rather have the information more than my safety.”

“Which is why you’re crying.” Jes’s face has a look of understanding.

“Yes,” you affirm quietly. “Today’s just been a bad day. I’ll be alright, though, really. I know Kaz doesn’t like dealing with weak people, so I thought I wouldn’t bother-”

“You’re not weak.” His voice gains a complete new edge, and his face is determined. You suddenly get a bad feeling. What’s Jes going to suggest you do? “We’re going to go confront him. Right now.”

“Jes, I look like I’ve been crying. I’d at least like to compose myself a bit.”

“No.” He makes sure he’s grabbing your other arm, before leading you back to Kaz’s office. “He needs to know how much he’s fucked up. He’s smart, but really,” Jesper sighs, “He’s an idiot. And you deserve better than that.”

Your heart warms at his words, but you’re still nervous as he leads you down the hall, and you’re definitely panicking when he opens the door without knocking.

Kaz looks up, and a brief look of surprise is in his eyes as he looks at Jesper. Why didn’t Jesper knock? And why would Jes need him, especially at midday? Wouldn’t he be out gambling?

Kaz prepares himself to hear something stupid. He doesn’t notice you standing behind him, and his attention drifts back down to his plan.

“What do you need?”

“Apologize.”

“For?”

“For being a bloody idiot and hurting your girlfriend.”

Hurting you? He looks back up to him, and this time, you’re standing next to Jesper.

“I didn’t-” Kaz starts, but your appearance makes him go silent.

Your expression is blank, but tear streaks clearly stain your face, and you clearly look like you don’t want to be confronting him. Jesper had put you up to this.

Were you too afraid of him to do it yourself?

What did he do for you to look like that?

“You didn’t do anything?” Jesper’s voice is incredulous. “She went to the White Rose to try and find Nina, and then you come home and treat her like she’s useless because she doesn’t get what you want. She’s your girlfriend, not a goon. Have some respect for her, yeah? She followed exactly what you said, to try and get home quickly and safely, and even then, she still gets hurt. Did you even notice the bleeding gash?”

“Jes,” you whisper, “it’s fine, really-”

He doesn’t listen, and grabs at your wrist to lift your arm, pulling down the scarf and revealing the bloody cut. Kaz blinks, concern and guilt briefly flashing on his face before he smooths back his expression.

How didn’t he notice? How did that happen?

“Y’know how she got that? Men were harassing her, and she fought one of them because she didn’t want to use your name as her shield. She was trying to prevent painting an even bigger target on your back. And then you go as far,” Jes laughs angrily, “as to say that she’s not worth more than information for your fucking plan? And through all of that, she leaves you alone because she doesn’t want to be an inconvenience to you. Your girlfriend thinks her emotions are burdening you. Get your fucking head out of your ass. Either you apologize to her, or she’s breaking up with you.”

You and Kaz are both left standing still, both watching as Jesper stalks back toward the door, opening it and slamming it shut.

The sound echoes through the silent room.

You don’t know what to say. Part of you feels vindicated, Jesper did the hard part for you, but part of you feels guilty- Jesper also made it a lot bigger than it could’ve been.

You let the guilt win out.

“I’m sorry, Jes’s wording was a bit harsh, I’ll take my leave, it’s really not that big-”

“Stay,” Kaz interrupts. “Please.”

You sit down on the chair next to his, and he turns to you, pulling out gauze and alcohol wipes.

“I can do it myself,” you say hurriedly. “I know-”

“You’re not a burden to me.” He avoids your gaze, he doesn’t want to see your reaction, in case he really would lose you after this. “Let me help you.”

“Okay.”

You hiss through your teeth as he cleans the gash, a small “sorry” escaping him as he continues. There’s still a silence hanging between both of you. He wraps it carefully, looking up at you when he’s done.

“Not too tight?”

“No,” you answer quietly. “Thank you, Kaz.”

There’s another silence between you.

“I care about you,” he says suddenly. “I wouldn’t trade your safety for anything.”

You know it’s his way of saying sorry.

“It’s okay,” you give a reassuring smile. “I know. I’ve just had a bad day, that’s all.”

“It’s not,” he argues. “If you ever need to defend yourself, use my name if it’ll get them to stop. I don’t care if it paints whatever sized target on my back.” You open your mouth to interject, but he continues. “I’m already a wanted criminal in Ketterdam. However much you increase the target by doesn’t matter, so long as you come home alright.”

“Okay,” you nod. “I will.”

“I love you, darling.”

Your eyes widen at his words. He doesn’t say it often, he knows that you already know that.

Jesper must’ve really shaken him.

“I love you too,” you reply softly. “Thank you.”

It’s his turn to look surprised. “For?”

“For caring,” you respond. “For being you. For loving me.”

A faint smile etches on his lips. “I always will.”

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #six of crows #six of crows x reader #soc kaz #kaz soc #soc x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #jesper fahey #thank you for the request! #request

[lantsovsupremacist]

nikolai lantsov: currents

warnings: nikolai lantsov being the best man ever wouldn’t you know 🙄☝️

spoilers: set during king of scars but no major spoilers!!!

you looked up from the paperwork strewn about the desk situated in a far corner of the war room. tucked away here, you would never be the first target. some might call it paranoia or chalk it up to the trauma of the civil war, but you simply preferred a spot to observe quietly in the shadows.

toyla and tamar followed the king inside, nodding at zoya, genya, and david surrounding you.

“oh. it’s you. it’s all of you. i...” the man, or more likely boy, who skittered into the room spoke in a squeaky tone, “an absolute honor. a dream, really.”

briefly meeting nikolai’s eyes as he turned around from shutting the door behind him, you transferred your line of sight to the figure now bowing at your feet. zoya scoffed, eyes rolling to the heavens. genya and david shared a cohesive frown.

dropping the pen from your hand, you pushed your hair over your shoulders and straightened. you listened thoughtfully as he gave an introduction to each of your fellow grisha, recounting his apparent conclusions of them. when he treaded the sparkling waters that were genya, your face began to drop into anger.

“the first tailor, who bears the marks of the darkling’s blessing.”

her flinch did not go unnoticed by you. and as the only one whose temper rivaled yours kept hers in check, you failed to. the pressure immediately began to decrease in the room and the air dry of any moisture. nikolai’s head whipped up, perhaps the one most familiar with your temperament (other than zoya in your shared youth—never happy to be on the receiving end of a soaked kefta in class).

his hands flew up, taking a step towards you, bartering with any position he could gain. your fierce protection over genya was not unknown to those close to you, a flaw in the monk’s faulty perception. you let your shoulders fall, calming any potential downpour.

if yuri noticed your show of power, he made no move to address it, “ravka’s most powerful tide maker. oh the stories of how the darkling sanctioned you with the power to drown men on land.”

you froze but not because of a lie. his words were all true. the darkling hand selected you for this special training at age eleven. you allowed the legend to transpire, protecting you much like kaz brekker, dirtyhands of ketterdam. this was not a lore you would repeat with starry eyes and dreams of an otherworldly fantasy. none of the lives you had been forced to take before jumping ship to join sturmhond during the civil war could be washed away.

for all of your hard edges and brutal words, there were chinks in your armor that could not be hidden. tamar and toyla brought a hand to their weapons in startling unison. zoya’s eyes called out for yours.

nikolai’s features immediately darkened, an eclipse shadowing the usual light in his eyes. he rose from his chair slowly, exhibiting all of the power that he had inherited.

the shameless monk managed to hold himself upright but the unchecked tremble of his fingers exposed the fear instilled by the king’s actions.

“if i ever hear of her name—any of their names—leaving your mouth again,” nikolai began, his words sharper than the edge of his sword, “for any purpose in any country,” nikolai paused to watch yuri shrink under his steady gaze, “there will be nothing left for your believers to mourn into martyrdom.”

you held your chin high, your eyes twin daggers poised to launch across the room and eagerly embed themselves in a target. the ire in your chest began to subside upon witnessing yuri’s response to your boyfriend’s threats, only to be readily replaced by a flush of desire as his hazel eyes sharpened.

breaking eye contact with the monk who could not decide where to offer his, you glanced about the room. zoya had steeled herself beside you, radiating enough anger to address each of yuri’s mislead and misspoken opinions. even david’s face appeared from behind the book in his hands, though he kept his page by leaving it open to rest on his lap.

“am i correct in my assumption that you have heard me clearly,” nikolai’s voice carried across the walls, not quite commanding any longer but instead demanding the attention of those stood inside.

“y-yes your highness,” yuri stumbled out weakly as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his wiry nose.

after finishing up matters with your friends, nikolai took off out of the room, glancing back to make sure you intended to follow. you fell in step behind him, remaining quiet until you reached the stairs leading up to his chambers.

“i could have handled him, you know,” you pressed nikolai, hands repeatedly flexing and unflexing as they brushed against the sides of your blue kefta. your tone held no anger, simply indicating a truth.

nikolai drummed his fingers against the railing, pausing before turning back to face you, “of course you could have, love, but where’s the fun in that for me?”

you appreciated his willingness to defend your honor but the playfulness in his tone felt forced. he did not even make an attempt at his trademark smile imbued by charm and confidence. you decided in that moment that you would do to see it’s safe return.

“nik,” you spoke, repeating yourself after the absence of an answer, “nik.” your hand finding its way into his own hanging limply at his side.

“do you really see yourself in that way?” his voice shook, nearly choking on his final words.

any time the topic was brought up, nikolai was reminded of your stance. you had broken down to him the night after the darkling fell at the hands of alina starkov. no matter any of your friend’s persuasion, you stood firm in your position. you deserved to pay for the harm you inflicted on so many innocent. you were a monster, one who had given in to being handcrafted by another.

the untroubled nature with which he typically carried himself had vanished. your own expression faltered. his particular kind of magic, knowing smirks and careful quips that were like incantations for smiles, vanished.

and while it was normal for nikolai to drop the facade of a charming king around you, the pain held in his eyes plummeted your heart into your stomach.

“i think i did once,” you replied airily, not wasting your breath on a lie that nikolai could surely detect before the sound waves settled, “right after the war ended.”

nikolai chewed on the inside of his cheek anxiously, “but you’ve intentionally chosen past tense to describe these feelings.”

“yes,” you nodded, drawing your lover closer to you by the lapels of his jacket, “always so observant. it’s only of the many things i admire about you.”

nikolai sighed, closing his eyes and letting his blonde curls fall upon your forehead. you brought a hand up to stroke his cheekbone, soaking in the warmth of his skin pressed up against own.

“your strength,” nikolai said after a moment, drawing a hand to your waist, “your perseverance.”

“hmm?” you hummed quietly in question, content to reside with him inside this moment only belonging to the two of you.

“qualities i admire in you, my love,” he smiled after a moment, not entirely to be described as filled with confidence but surety nonetheless.

the flush of color in your cheeks always reminded nikolai of the pink dahlias planted in his favorite corner of the garden. maybe it was because it was where he had first kissed you. he decided that was probably his reason, although he never needed one to justify the beauty of either the memory or girl in front of him now.

too caught up in the memory, nikolai’s lips dipped to yours. you could always grasp a lingering taste of saltwater no matter how far away he was from sea, how many weeks removed. it reminded you of home. it was home.

“i love that you protect me, sobachka” you whispered against his lips, down his jaw and neck.

you did not need the exaggerated tales of your terrifying capabilities to destroy to wear as armor anymore, for you had the best man you had ever known to guard you.

as his hand wove into your hair and the other spiraling lower down your back, your breath hitched in your throat when he answered, “i can do so much more than that, my sea.”

nikolai settled on a simple quip, something guaranteed to make you smile. as a boy, he dreamed of a girl who would laugh at all of his jokes. when he grew, he figured many would be forged, a fallacy to fall in good graces with the king. he had yet to detect a lie within the giggles that left your lips.

the golden haired king would do anything to see you smile. he would pour hours into chasing perfection for you. once, he had even allowed toyla to confer with him about romantic poetry. despite the recitation being quite dreadful, you had laughed the most you had in a long time that day. now, just to catch up with the smallest piece of that magic again, he brought a new poem to you each night.

“i thought that i had seen the most gorgeous sights as sturmhond,” he began, unable to help biting his lip at your smallest quirk of a smile, “the volkvolny showed me how to fall in love with the endless waves at sea.”

you sucked in a breath, immersed in the way he spoke so intentionally. he was entrancing. you loved to hear about his travels before you met him, immersed in his storytelling.

“but none of them were every as beautiful as the ones you make,” he finished with a grin.

instead of reaching up to smack him at the cliche, you ignored your first reaction and instead pulled him closer to you. with your hands tucked against the back of his neck, you allowed your thumb to ruffle his lose and unruly curls. here, he was soft and gentle, untouched by his role.

“our ship had four other tidemakers,” you voiced softly, recalling your betrayal of the darkling after sturmhond’s crew imposed a mutiny, “but you chose me to lead the crew. you told me that was because i was the most powerful, but i certainly wasn’t with the waves. my power was not as practiced with currents.”

“but they were the prettiest,” he chuckled with puppy dog eyes honoring his nickname.

you gaped at this confession, “are you telling me you picked me as a leader during a war because the waves i created were pretty?” the initial seriousness in your tone melted away with every breath.

“i remember calling them the prettiest,” he twisted your hips, swaying you with him, “didn’t help me that the girl that could make them was the most gorgeous one i had ever seen. darling, i’m a prince, so i will inform you now that i have met a lot of people.”

your laughter was more delicate now, trailing off as you found direction in his eyes, “i had not been trusted with currents in years,” your voice softened, “he wanted my power elsewhere. i hated all of it. do you know the only memory i have of my parents is my father guiding the currents with me while we fished outside of town as a child? i was so excited to create like that with my power but all i did was destroy,” fighting back any moisture building in your eyes, you continued, “you gave me that back, nikolai.”

nikolai felt his heart stir inside his chest. he caught up to one of his most favorite smiles of yours. a rarity it was, reserved for the quietest and most understated moments that you could hardly share due to the both of your occupations and temperaments.

“i love every part of you,” nikolai dictated, “every drop of saltwater in the sea could not compare.”

you repeated the phrase before stilling, “well, now you’ve gone and ruined this with another one of toyla’s fictions.”

“ah, ah,” he tsked, “i made that one up myself, love.”

#nikolai lantsov fluff #nikolai lantsov x reader #nikolai lantsov imagine #nikolai lantsov #shadow and bone #storm and siege #rule of wolves #sturmhond #zoya nazyanelsky #shadow and bone fic #nikolai x reader

[rcksmith]

Sun — Kaz Brekker

Resume: Feelings are destabilizing things.

A/N: This story is not set in the books of Six Crows, I also changed the age of the characters to twenty-something because the idea of ​​writing something about a child makes me uncomfortable. All my stories, of any characters, are with them being of up age. Just like many fanfics out there in the teen series.

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader.

Warnings: Mention of fight, swearing, mention of post-traumatic stress, angst, mention of kiss, mention of desire, desire, mention of death, but so fucking fluff.

Word count: 3k.

Requests are open. Love you ❤️

— — — —

There were few things in life that he was absolutely sure of. Things that were immutable, solid, unshakable. That even the strongest of winds would not be able to shake the structure. A life built on the basis of an equation of chaos, suffering, death and despair generated a result where it was necessary to be sure of something. And one of those certainties was the ability of himself, of his instincts, of his intelligence, the notion that he himself was a person capable of resolving any type of situation with iron fists. The second was the certainty of the loyalty of his crows, of the two people who, he knew, would never turn their backs on him.

And the third... the third was that when Kaz Brekker first laid eyes on you, he was sure that you would divide his life between a before and an after.

It was a lepid, ferocious feeling that swept the body of The Bastard of the Barrel from the top of his head to the tip of his polished boots. The heat immediately gave way to a cold sweat, a shiver as if receiving a midnight sigh at the back of the neck. There was a quick sensation of burning in the heat of an icy fire, but his composure did not flinch a single millimeter. He had learned to keep it in all situations, trained with steel fists.

Kaz looked at you deeply, from the top of your hair to the tip of your feet, trying to find answers as to why you had triggered such disturbing sensations with a simple and ridiculous exchange of looks. But he found no answers. He found neither after a day, nor after a week, damn it, he did not find nor after a month!

You had joined the infamous trio because they needed a fighting expert, someone who could defeat a good number of men on her own without needing backup, which would make their bigger and more complex robberies much easier. And when they found you, a girl who had been the subject for a experiment to create super soldiers, your ability to fight, physical endurance, and your sense of loyalty, made you perfect for the job.

But none of that explained why, whenever the stormy blue eyes met yours, he felt like he was ricochet by living eels. It was exasperating, frustrating on so many levels that it was difficult to put into words. Kaz could not expose this misfortune to his two closest people, first because his pride in admitting a disturbance in his subtly balanced world was too great, and second that... even if he considered said that, he would not know how to name those feelings for express what he were feeling.

How would Jesper and Inej understand something that even he did not understand?

Kaz Brekker had a firm and calm demeanor, an implacably logical mind and a way of narrowing his eyes that ensured that his orders were carried out with great efficiency, all according to the moment he wished. Then, just as he did to get rid of any disturbance, he buried those sensations so deeply until, like his overwhelming pains and traumas, they stopped tormenting him.

He thought that, like his flawless and cunning plans, it would have the same effect. That his nerves could get back to normal and he wouldn't have to deal with the feeling that feel hiself whit cold and hot at the same time whenever he laid eyes on you.

But, if it was true that the practice makes perfect, this rule has not been applied in this situation.

The deeper he buried those beginnings of thats sensations, more of them began to flourish, roaring harder, as a constant reminder that he was not that rock of stoicity and absence of feelings that he liked to think he was. It seemed that, just as light existed to exorcise the darkness, you existed to show that he still had a beating heart. Hot blood still coursing through the veins.

It has not helped anything in his cause that, over time, Inej and Jesper have become attache to you. Jesper even more. But if Kaz put aside his frustration and irritation for a second, he would know that he couldn't to blame them. In fact, there was no way to blame every person who approached you, delighted.

Jesper once described you as "the soul of the party", and Inej said that you had fire in your soul. Kaz would not have been able to think of better definitions to put into words what you were. There was thing about the way you laughed, the way you talked, the way your tilting your head and your so easy smile. There was a thing about you. That transformed you into the solar system and people orbited in your gravity like planets.

You had a way with people, Kaz really thought it was a gift, a talent. You were always laughing, smiling, playing with people and making them so comfortable in your presence that, once, Kaz saw a trader, who are in a the middle of a refused to close a contract with Kaz, just melt and give up because of the smile you gave to him.

Nothing from you has been forced, malicious, shrewd or cunning. You really smiled, you really laughed, as if you were...happy. Purely happy. And, in a second of insanity, Kaz wondered if that happiness was possible. If it was possible for him to feel something like this.

But, just as Brekker took his soul close from you as much as he could to avoid any emotion, Jesper did the exact opposite. Very quickly, just like Kaz and Inej are, the two of you became a pair of inseparable friends. Were always together.

Perhaps it was because you two were overwhelmingly alike: Always in the eye of danger, addicted to adrenaline, purely outgoing and liked a good fun. Or maybe it was because, like everyone around you, Jesper felt drawn closer to your warm, joyful and comforting aura.

But whatever it was, the timbre of your laughter followed by Jesper's became a sound as natural as the whistling of the wind. And it didn't take long for you two to become partners in thefts and plans.

However, it didn't take long too for the reactions Kaz had about the influence of your presence to become...louder.

If Kaz Brekker closed his eyes and concentrated for a moment, he could still remember and feel that night perfectly as if it were yesterday:

The plan was succinct: They would have to go through guards, high walls and locks to enter a merchant's residence, open the safe, pick up the jewels and leave. Twenty minutes was the time limit to complete that sequence.

Everyone was assigned to one thing: Kaz would turn off a fabricated security system from a Grisha, Inej would sneak into the shadows to the safe and pick up the jewels, and Jesper and you would be responsible for dealing with the various guards. Everyone would have to meet in the corridor that led to the back exit.

Kaz did not think that that so ridiculous and simple plan it could go wrong. Or that someone could make a slip. To him, it seemed as easy as sneaking into a yacht boat. However, there he was, next to Inej who carried the jewelery bag in her hand, both of them standing in that dimly lit corridor, waiting for you and Jesper to appear.

"It's been three minutes!" Inej pointed, as if Kaz didn't already know that.

Her intonation was concerned, apprehensive, with a certain fear. Kaz thought about saying something, but as soon as his mouth opened to say anything, he heard...

Steps. Hurried steps of two people. No, actually, the two people were running.

Suddenly, you and Jesper burst into the corridor, running as if their lives depended on it. Inej and Kaz would have been worried if it weren't for the bastard and peraltas smiles that stretched across faces of you two, stretching their cheeks.

Then Kaz noticed the reason for the delay. You two carried a giant picture under your left arms. Jesper carried the front end and you the back end, like two children who made a mischief and was running from their mother. True accomplices.

Kaz's jaw opened, his eyes widened slightly and roamed the frame with agitated iris, while Inej was totally baffled.

"C'mon, C'mon!" You exclaimed with laughter in your voice, Jesper and you never stopped running.

As soon all left and took shelter in the safety and peace of the Crow Club closed in that night, Jesper and you fell on the couch, laughing and panting.

"What was that?!” But Kaz was exasperated "Do you both know how much risked the plan?!"

"It was only three minutes, Boss." Jesper defended himself.

"It..." That's when Kaz looked at the painting responsible for all the commotion and fuss.

It was a painting, a landscape by Ravka. The fold. In oil on parchment. A DeKappel. That was worth at least ten thousand Kruges.

“You commented that you needed a new painting for your office.” Your voice took Kaz out of the admiration on the painting, and Jesper and Inej looked at you as if they had discovered that now too.

Jesper and Inej thought it was just for the money...

Kaz looked up into your eyes, and the cold, warm shiver spreading across his chest and snaking to his bones. As it always did the moment yours eyes meeting.

He remembered commenting in passing, in a very vague and obtuse way, that he wanted a new painting in the office. Until that moment, Brekker didn't think you paying attention to what he had to say. Not when it wasn't about a job or plan.

But there you were, proving that you had heard. And that you cared.

His breath caught for a second, the icy chill turned to something warmer, like the first sparks of fire in a fireplace. The first flames that precede the fire.

After that, Kaz began to pay more attention, unconsciously, to what you said. And, consequently, he started paying more attention to you. It had been gradual, sneaky as a snake, imperceptible so he wouldn't be able to root it out. As if the universe, destiny or divines, introduced, grain by grain, a small summer in a landscape frozen by winter.

It all started with your comment about liking it sweeter than salty, that dry wine left you with a headache and that you preferred rum. He evolved to notice how your tone of voice got sweeter when you talked to children or animals, and more serious when it came to the safety of the three crows. And suddenly, as if Kaz already knew this as he knew the sky was blue, he knew how to say how your eyes sparkled when you felt the warmth of the sun on your skin.

In that second, looking at you from the other side of the agitated club that turned into a celebration with dance and music, the world became suspended for a moment. The music became just an echoing, blurry noise, the images turned to slow motion and the air seemed to change in pitch. You, who laughed and speen round in Jesper's arms amid so many people who did the same thing, were the only one who starred as the main attraction.

In that minute, when the breath was slow and lyrical, and the air had a beauty tone, Kaz's eyes caught the exact moment when a beam of sunlight hit your face, shining on your skin as if you were one pirate tropical treasure. In a burst, a second of insanity, like a violin string that burst at the apice of the song, he felt that there was nothing else in the world worth seeing that was not you.

It was a scary, terrifying discovery. Something that made him freeze from head to toe, and all the speed in the world came back so fast that Kaz felt dizzy. He pressed his covered hand to the crow's beak of his cane, as if he needed a reminder of reality. Something that would wake him up from those hellish sensations.

- -

The months passed after that fateful afternoon. Kaz avoided staying close to you any longer than necessary and would strongly and vigorously scold every change of tone within himself whenever he saw you.

He didn't know what those sensations meant, but he also didn't want to find out. He liked challenges and responsibilities, but being around you was proving to be more than he could take. Your presence ignited him in a cold and warm fire, promising a future full of unfulfilled infinite wills. From pain, impotence and doomed to failure. Any feeling for you would be more of a punishment than anything else. The only solution was to get it out of your head.

Of course, he had been trying to do just that since he met you.

But again, the universe did not seem to want to give up from he. Not so easily.

Kaz had to take you along to make a deal with a merchant who was more impassable than a rock. Kaz had tried to negotiate with him before (since he couldn't take the strength or rob what he wanted) and all his efforts were in vain. So, he appealed for the last weapon. The person who always had a natural gift whit other people and always had a real smile that made anybody feel like... as if happiness really existed.

You.

"I'm glad it's hot" You commented, while walking next to Kaz "I don’t like the cold."

How did he know that you would say just that? That was so you. Warm, sweet and cozy things were the embodiment of what you were. It was logical that you preferred the heat. So different from him that, instead of you, enjoyed the cold. Liked the rains and storms, relaxed with the moonlight and felt less tense with the midnight winter breeze.

Kaz understood your personality as he understood the very lines of his hands. You were wild, bordering on reckless, you acted before thinking and you always loved anything that aroused adrenaline. You ran like no one else, jumped from one horse's cell to another, decided to catch the largest number of targets just because you wanted the thrill of fighting five against one. Anything calm, serene and peaceful stirred your restless personality. And Kaz knew exactly your level of restlessness from the way your leg was constantly jumping when you had to sit still for more than a few minutes.

You were a free spirit, forged in the heart of the sun and in the heat of summer. While he was limited by his own body and built in the heart of winter and frozen by the cold of the sea. Anything between you was doomed to fail even before you two met. Kaz Brekker knew this very well.

“He is late.” You grunted, your leg was already starting to jumping when you two spent a measly ten minutes waiting for the man.

You looked back and seemed to find it interesting, because Kaz saw your eyes shine.

"Let's go there?" You pointed, and Kaz had to turn around to see that you were referring to a coffee shop.

Crowded with sweets in the window for a change. Why was he not surprised?

“No.” He turned forward again, both hands on the cane.

"So I go over there and come back quickly."

“Y/n" he just said in a warning tone, giving you a scolding look.

You mumbled something he didn't identify, turned around again and did your best to be quiet. Five minutes passed before that merchant arrived, and Kaz can perfectly follow the change in his posture, change in the man eyes when you greeted him with that summer voice and sunny smile.

It was so vibrant, so vivid that, for a second, Kaz found himself slightly swayed by all the brilliance you emanated. Pulled towards your like an animal needing the warmth of the sun.

It didn't take much for the man to sign and agree with everything Kaz said and imposed. In fact, he suspected that if he had asked him to give him his bank password, the man would have been happy to do so.

"Can we go in the coffee shop now?” You commented as soon as the man left, still turning around to look at you as much as possible.

Kaz restrained the glaring urge to roll his eyes, but he had just landed a very lucrative business just and exclusively because you agreed to help. Even though you didn't gain anything from it. So, if he had to go with you to a goddamn coffee shop so he wouldn't feel like a petty profiteer, he would go to the goddamn coffee shop.

Kaz just walked towards the place, and the wide, summery smile you gave may have he missed a few heartbeats.

Stop it!

Once inside the damn store, you scanned the menu that hung on the wall.

“I never took this one.” You commented, pointing to what appeared to be a very sweet mix of drink. Something that involved ice cream and chocolate with something else.

It was not the kind of comment that had an answer, and Kaz was still engaged in the mission to stay away from you. But he thought that statement was just the reason why you wouldn't order that drink. But, just as you always threw any worldview Kaz had in the latrine, you asked for just that. His eyes were bloodshot with astonishment.

“Why are you going to order something you don't know if you like it?” He asked as soon as you got the drink and paid for it.

"How am I supposed to know if something is good if I never try it?” You said casually, both of you going out of the store. “Wanna try out?”

You held out for he the plastic cup that was covered by a lid that had a hole in the middle, where a fat, transparent straw came out. Kaz looked at you as if you had created a second head.

“Come on, you'll never know if you like it if you don't taste it.” The two of you stopped, you still holding the glass gently towards his mouth.

“No.” Kaz shook his head.

“Come ooon.” You insisted, a petulant and amusing smile plastered on your face.

"No."

You shook the glass, holding it out once more. This time, Kaz gave you a slightly annoyed look.

"You're not going to stop insisting until I take this thing, are you?"

You laughed, with a triumphant and friendly smile “I'm glad you know me so well”

Kaz rolled his eyes, snatching the glass from your hand and bringing the hellish straw to his mouth. Hell, he felt so stupid pulling that stupid drink through that straw. As soon as the sweet liquid invaded his tongue, an explosion of flavors flooded his palate, causing him to remain unresponsive for a moment.

"You liked it!" But just as he unveiled all of your lookes, you knew how to unveil all of his.

Kaz handed you the glass. “Absurdly sweet."

"You liked that I know."

You joked and, for a second, you had aroused he a desire to smile. A succinct curve in lips. With your sunny smiles and summer expressions, you looked like you were out of an enchanted forest inhabited by mystical creatures. Sun nymphs. Maybe Kaz would even have let himself go lightly if, when you took the glass back, your lips had not wrapped around the tip of the straw.

Exactly where his mouth was a second ago.

He pulse quickened so fast that it made the blood burn in his veins. It was impossible not to look down at delicate mouth, the subtle but destabilizing curvature in the center of your lower lip. Suddenly, he was out of breath, his body numb and his heart stopped beating for a second before accelerating to an alarming level.

Everything became hot, stuffy. The world spun away, out of focus, out of existence, leading he on a waltz unlike anything Kaz had ever felt before.

Kaz Brekker was the Bastard of the Barrel. Dirty hands and scammer. Someone trapped by his own body and traumas, unable to allow himself to enjoy human contact. But, hell, he was still a man. And in that moment, in that insane moment, he wanted to pretend, even for a few seconds, that what he wanted was within his reach.

Kaz thought he understood the desire: an attraction. He thought he knew what lust was: a wish that people felt. He had seen countless examples on his bar counter, drunk and chattering about what it was like to want a woman, to long for her. He thought he understood.

And he found that he didn't understand anything.

The desire was a hot and feverish whirlwind that shivered he from head to toe, with dizzying speed, and dragged everything towards perdition, below any intellect, any rationality. Rationally, he shouldn't have thought you were even more beautiful. But he did. He shouldn't feel his breath catch, but he did.

He felt as if he were walking on a narrow suspended board. One misstep and it would be the end of it. Hiding his disturbing thoughts, Kaz looked away from you.

He was ruined for the rest of his life.

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #shadow and bone #inejgayfa #jesper fahey #kaz x jesper #kaz x reader #kaz x kruge #freddy carter #freddy carter x reader #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker imagine #shadow and bone imagine #fluff #freddy carter fluffy #kaz brekker fluff #fanfic

[bookishdream]

Kaz the Crow

this is a request for @coffeehousedragoness thank you for a message! enjoy xx

kaz brekker x reader

Your hand was full of cookie crumbs, you had a slight smile glowing up your face. Every evening, when the only job you had to do, was making sure everything in the Crow Club worked, you sat in your window and fed the crows. One crow in particular. The bird was black like a pitch, you had problem with distinguishing its eyes and its feathers. That crow was the only one who looked after you, literally.

Once, when you’d been walking around the Ketterdam, buying stuff for Kaz’s new job, two guys from rival gangs had wanted to ambush you. And you’d been oblivious to what had been happening. But you’d heard your crow squawking rapidly, you’d turned around and you’d seen two guys with hands on their pistols. You had been really lucky that you’d made friends with this one, little, black crow. Since then, it was your friend, you fed the bird and the crow was keeping you safe from its distance.

You weren’t even surprised, when you named it Kaz. The crow even looked like him, all angles and sharp edges making it looked dangerous, but in the inside, the bird was trying to keep you safe.

Leaving your thoughts, you reached out to those few crows who were on your roof, Kaz the Crow was sitting on the edge, you thought about making it a small walking stick and a hat, but your crow would probably get upset with you had you done that. You made a little chip chip sound to make this little bastard come closer in order to feed him.

When your hand got empty, you took the next cookie from the box that was laying beside you on the windowsill. You crumbled the cookie and you looked after your crow. You looked down and you noticed how it was right under your nose, waiting for its food. You reached out and placed your hand carefully under its beak. Kaz the Crow looked at you and after that it started eating the crumbs. You gently put your finger onto its feathers, stroking them. The bird was still eating, when the rest of them flew away from your roof. Crumbs on your palm were gone and after that, the crow walked to the edge of the roof.

“Goodnight, Kaz.” You said, smiling. In return, Kaz the Crow squawked loud and clear and flew away as well. You closed your window and got into your bed, you had work the next day.

When you woke up, on your nightstand was a tray, with a plate full of sandwiches and two cups of hot cocoa. Your sleepy eyes didn’t register Inej, sitting where you were the night before, her long, brown hair braided and her brown skin was glowing in the early sun light. You lifted yourself on your elbows and looked at her, puzzled expression on your face.

“What are you doing here?” you asked, reaching out to the cups of cocoa. You took one for yourself and the other one for the Wraith. “Not that I’m complaining.”

Inej chuckled and took the cup from your hands. “Jesper said that Kaz wanted you in his office as soon as you wake up, thought you’d like to have a nice morning before meeting with him.”

You laughed, taking one of the sandwiches. It had a cucumber and paprika on it. You took a bite and chewed while thinking about what Kaz might’ve wanted from you. You looked at Inej and then at the plate, offering her one but she shook her head no and left, sending you a smile. You sighed, weren’t sure if you were ready to start with the day.

As you thought, Kaz’s jobs weren’t easy. Rob the Emerald Palace here, kill a Black Tip there. No boredom and a lot of fun. Your limbs were tired, you’d prepared yourself only for a few hours of some petty thefts and lying, but when Kaz had said he had one more job for his Crows, you groaned.

“I’m in pain, Kaz,” you commented, placing your knife in your thigh belt. “We’ve been here for a whole day.”

“Stop with this bad mood, y/n,” Jesper fell into step with you, he placed his arm around your shoulders. “We’re alive, we’re together. What would one want more?”

“Peace and silence of my own room,” You said, rubbing your sore arm. It got hit while running from one of the clubs you robbed. You hadn’t registered when you hit it, but it hurt as hell. “Kaz will be furious if I don’t feed it.”

You didn’t know why you said that. Perhaps because of your tiredness and numb feel of pain radiating from every inch of your body. But your tongue wasn’t cooperating with your brain that night. You looked up and saw four faces, gazing at you. You felt your face heat up.

“My crow,” you whispered, embarrassed. “Not Kaz Kaz, Kaz the Crow.”

“You have a pet crow?” Nina asked.

“You named a pet crow after me?” Kaz questioned, with a smirk.

“I will not say anything more.”

You remained silent for the rest of the day, you still felt a little bit embarrassed, but you brushed it off. You were too tired to actually think about being ashamed. When eventually, you came back to your own room, you promptly went to your windowsill and sat there, opening your window as wide as you could. The cold breeze got into your nose. Scent of pollution and screams of drunk men came into your senses. You removed hair from your forehead and took one cookie from the box beside you. You crumbled it and threw it out, so the crows could feed. You didn’t notice your favourite crow.

You heard silent knocking, but before you could answer, the person behind them let themselves in. Kaz had taken of his coat and hat, and had left only his black trousers and white button up. His palms without gloves, and he wasn’t holding his cane. Your eyes got wide.

“What are you doing here?” you asked. “And without your gloves?”

“My hands needed some rest,” he answered, smirking. “I came here to meet the crow that is named after me.”

“Don’t be so cocky, Brekker,” you made some room for him on the windowsill, so he could sit. He walked and sat beside you. Both of you were sitting silent and just looking. “He’s not here.”

“Perhaps he knows I’m here and feels intimidated,” he joked, placing his palm on a window frame. His fingers were slim and his hand was pale. “He doesn’t want to make a fool out of himself, when I’m here.”

“You’re not funny.”

“I’m hilarious.”

When you wanted to say something, you heard loud squawking, and you saw Kaz the Crow. His deep black wings were moving fast and steady. When it landed, it ran straight to you. The bird looked at Kaz, curious. His black, hardly noticeable eyes were looking alert, judging if Brekker was dangerous.

“Do you want to feed it?” you offered, reaching out the cookie to Kaz. He nodded his head and carefully crumbled the biscuit. He was cautiously looking at the bird like it was going to do something to him. “It won’t bite you.”

“Are you sure?” he doubted, reaching out his hand.

“Positive.”

When you saw Kaz the Crow eating from real Kaz’s palm, gloveless, palm you got up from the windowsill and made your way to your closet. When you were changing your pants, you heard a small, surprised yell.

“You said it wouldn’t bite me!”

#kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #inej ghafa #six of crows #crooked kingdom #grishaverse #jesper x milo #jesper fahey #wylan van eck #wylan van sunshine #shadow and bone #nina zenik #wylan #kaz #inej #milo #soc #kaz brekker my beloved #kaz brekker x you #soc kaz #kaz my beloved #kaz brekker imagine #kaz soc

[tomhollandisabae]

I want another part of Lose you to Love me- Kaz Brekker x Reader, please!🙏🙏 It was incredible😍😍

Thank u so much on ur support on the previous part and thank you for your requests on a part 2!!!❤️❤️

Masterlist | Requests (only for Kaz)

Fandom; Six of Crows & Shadow and Bone

Lose you to Love me- Kaz Brekker x Rarder Pt. 2

Part 1

Summary; After a long time of Kaz ignoring you, you decide to free him from his misery... you.

warnings; death, mentions of blood, cursing, angst and fluff(?)

words; 2.3k

A month had went by and Kaz couldn't stop thinking about you. He would beat up himself every single day in the thought of being the cause of your absence.

With you he had managed to overcome his trauma in some kind of way. He started feeling alive again, like his life was gaining a purpose again. But he had lost you and there was nothing that he hadn't attempted to do in order to find you again.

He distanced himself even more from the other Crows and as much as they tried to cheer him up, they were failing every time. Kaz couldn't believe that he let you go. He would be able to have the whole world into his arms, in his bed, in his mind, in his life, making them feel special, as they were, showing them how much he loved them.

Love… Kaz couldn't believe that he was able to love. His heart was speeding up every moment he was looking at you, without you noticing of course, or at the hearing of your voice.

How much had he had missed your sweet voice. How much had he missed the way you were able to stand up for yourself, no matter the occasion.

You thought that he was disappointed in you. But the truth was the exact opposite.

Kaz couldn't be more proud of you, of his girl. His girl… it's weird to put it like that when you were far away from him. Maybe you had already found another man, maybe someone that deserved your love more than him, someone who could keep you away from all the danger that was surrounding you when you were with him.

But what if he had you by his side right now? What if he had never treated you like that? What if he was able to hold your body close to him? What if he was able to show you his affection, his care, his love, to open up his heart to you and let you heal him?

However, now there was no heart of his left. You had took it away with you the day you had left him.

How could he be so foolish?

As his thoughts about you were consuming his mind, he heard a knock on his office door.

“Come in.” He said after clearing his throat and gaining his powerful stance again.

“Kaz we captured a spy, although he says that he's a messenger from Pekka Rollins.” Jesper informed him, while dragging the dirty man behind him.

Pekka Rollins… what could he wanted right now?

Kaz slowly waved for Jesper to bring the man in his office making him stand before him.

“Speak.” He ordered him.

“Sir, first of all I want you to know that i'm just a simple messenger and has nothing to do with anything that Mr Rollins has done.” He trembled.

“Speak.” Kaz demanded once again starting to lose his patience.

“He says that he has found what you've been searching for the last one month and that he keeps it very close to him. He says that he can't assure you of its condition, as it was pretty hard to capture it, but he's been trying to show mercy, even though it's pretty hard and most of the times he can't hold back. He says that he's willing to trade it only if you're willing to go there and take it yourself. He says that he doesn't want leverage or anything he just wants to see you to humiliate yourself in front of your gang and his.” He finished.

Kaz stood for a moment and thought what he could've mean by saying ‘something he had been searching for the last one month’, when it finally hit him.

You.

He was keeping you hostage. You were capture by his worst enemy, Pekka Rollins.

Kaz could feel his blood boiling in his veins as he shot up from his chair and rushed out of the room leaving a confused Jesper behind him.

“Kaz where are you going?” Inej asked him.

“Don’t let anyone follow me and give me one of your daggers.” He commanded.

Inej obeyed and gave him two of her daggers before he left.

***

Once outside of Pekka Rollin's place, he saw two of his men coming up to him. He tried to fight them, but he couldn't waste his energy yet, so after a while he gave up and let them drag him inside after the covered his eyes with a cloth.

A few minutes later he felt the two men stopping and he did the same. He assumed that they had reached their destination. Finally, they took the cloth off his eyes and he took a good look around before his eyes locked with your figure.

They had tied your hands above your head, while you could barely stand. You were covered in blood and looked awful. But that didn't mean he didn't fell relief seeing you alive. He wanted to run up to you and take you away from everything. Take you away from any pain that that evil man had put you through.

“Oh if it isn't the one and only, Kaz Brekker.” Pekka said once he entered the room wearing a sarcastic smile on his face.

In the hearing of his name you shot your head up and finally saw him. Your eyes locked with his. You wanted to cry in relief of seeing him standing in front of you, yet you had to be strong, you couldn't let your guard down, no matter what. But you still were happy to see him, even more in the situation you were in right now.

The moment you had left him, you had already regret it. You wanted to go back and give him a second chance, but you knew that would be pointless, as he didn't care about you.

But if he truly didn't care about you, why was he standing a few feet away from you not being able to tear his gaze from yours?

“Okay that's enough love birds.” Bekka said sarcastically.

“So, Kaz please, sit down.” He smirked.

“I'm good thanks.” Kaz answered him coldly.

“Suit yourself. Even though you need to rest that poor leg of yours for what it is to come.” He told him motioning for something outside the door.

“Mr Brekker please meet Ms Volkov.” He introduced the young woman that had just entered the room.

“Ms Y/l/n knows her very well as we had to use her on her for a good amount of times as she was getting really annoying. Now I see what you liked about that girl all this time. You are the both two scums that belongs to the streets and must be treated as garbage and nothing more. I would prefer being in the presence of a Shu, than that annoying bitch.” He said pointing to you.

“Don’t you dare refer to her like that.” Kaz said through gritted teeth.

“Oh yeah. Should I be afraid now boy? Huh? Should I be afraid of a boy that can't even drag his own foot?” He shouted at him.

You could feel your heart clenching from the way Bekka was speaking to him. You knew that deep down Kaz was still a young boy that had never been healed properly and he needed to be treated with care and love. You knew him quite well, to feel his heart breaking at the moment.

“You can talk to me as you wish, treat me as you want, but you have no right to touch her. She's mine and only mine. No one dares to mess with her and if you do so, you have to through me first.” He challenged him.

He called you his. His. Kaz had called you his. You couldn't believe in your ears. He truly did care about you after all. That was the way of him showing you his affection, by protecting you.

Bekka had once deprived him of his brother, but now he couldn't do the same with you. Kaz couldn't let this man take you away from him.

“Oh don't worry, I was already counting on that.” Bekka said and waved to the girl who was standing behind Kaz.

You wanted to shout at him and let him know of what was to come, yet you couldn't. You could barely keep your eyes open, let alone yell at the man you loved.

Moments later Kaz turned immediately around and saw the woman making different motions with her hands before you saw Kaz crawling on the ground, clenching the fabric over his heart.

She was a heartrender. Her job was not to kill you. No. Far away from it. She was instructed to torture you both.

You started fighting against your restraints, with every power you had left, but it was pointless. You couldn't do anything to save him and that's when the tears finally made their way down your pale cheeks.

“Kaz…” You whispered softly but it was loud enough for him to hear you.

He could hear the pain in your voice. He would kill this man no matter what and he was going to do that tonight.

“Now, what about we change our subjects.” Bekka laughed and the girl let go off Kaz before she turned to you.

Kaz already knew what she was going to do and he couldn't let that happen. With all of his remaining strength, he lifted his good leg and kicked the back of the girl's feet knocking her down. Bekka was in shock. He couldn't believe that the bastard had so much power in him.

But it wasn't his power. It was yours. You were giving him power, hope, strength to keep going. You were his purpose and he was willing to pursue you.

You smiled as you saw him standing up again on his feet.

“You bastard.” Bekka whispered under his breath.

“Is that all you've got?” Kaz said.

“You want more boy? You'll have more then.” He yelled now consumed by anger.

But he couldn't do anything as you all heard noises from the hallway when the door finally bursted open.

All the members of Kaz’s gang were there. They came to rescue you and you couldn't be more happy about it.

“Get them.” Bekka instructed his men.

A fight eventually broke out. A couple of minutes later Kaz’s men were winning, when you felt a cold metal sticking through your stomach. Someone had stabbed you.

At that moment Kaz turned around to face you and saw all the blood licking out of you. He was losing you now, for good. He rushed towards you and without saying anything he took the daggers Inej had given to him earlier and cut off your restraints making you stumble onto his lap.

“Y/n, please stay with me.” He whispered desperately, putting away all the hair that had fell on your face, so he could see you better.

You were putting all your strength to keep your eyes open for him. Only for him. You finally had your chance with him and you couldn't throw it away now. You had to fight for him, as he had fought for you too.

As you lifted your gaze up to meet his you saw Bekka making dangerously his way towards you the two he of you, holding a dagger in his hand.

“Kaz…” You gasped and he immediately knew what was going on.

He turned around, still having you leaning against his torso, while he stretched his arm out and threw his daggers towards the man making him fall on the ground lifeless.

It was over. Your pain was over. You had finally won! You could leave your life happily now with the man in front of you.

“Kaz…” You tried to say but felt nothing than darkness surrounding you.

***

A week had gone by since the day Kaz had found you and yet you wouldn't open your eyes. Nina tried everything she could do to heal you, but she couldn't do anything more.

Kaz wouldn't leave your side. Not even for a single moment. He had brought you in his bedroom. He wanted to have you close to him, he wanted to feel you close to him.

Desperate for your touch, he finally laid down next to you on the bed and took off his gloves before placing his right hand on your cheek softly. He felt a tear rolling down his cheek but didn't do anything to wipe it away.

He was grieving. He had lost you and couldn't stop blaming himself for that. He had lost for good, he had lost the only thing that ever mattered to him. How could he let you down like that?

He saw how beautiful your pale lips looked and he wanted to feel them against his own. Without putting much thought in it he came closer to you and brought his face a few inches away from yours before looking up, facing your close eyelids, before finally placing his soft lips onto yours.

He couldn't let go. You were some kind of drug to him and couldn't even think about having to leave your lips. Suddenly, he felt a small movement against his body and felt you deepening the kiss. He enjoyed the moment while it lasted a few more seconds before he pulled away, looking at you with a frown.

“Y/n…” He whispered.

“I'm here Kaz and I am not leaving you this time, I promise.” You said weakly as you wrapped your arms around him, bringing him in for another kiss.

That kiss was more passionate than the previous one. You could finally express yourselves to one another through physical contact. Never in a million years would you have thought of kissing the boy you loved like that.

Kaz was finally feeling safe with you. You were safe with him. He had found his safe place and he wouldn't let you go ever again.

“I love you Y/n and i'm so sorry for everything that I put you through.” He finally admitted.

“I love you too Kaz, always had and always will.” You confessed before connecting your lips once again.

Tags;

@cityofstaars @thedelusionreaderbitch @losers-club6 @mufnasa @thefictionalgemini @i-padfootblack-things @athxnss @thefandomplace @lina-lovebug @antigoneidk

#kaz #kaz brekker imagines #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker x you #kaz brekker x reader #kaz x reader #kaz brekker #brekker #netflix #requests #part 2 of 2 #fanfic #imagines #shadow and bone #six of crows

[ladydaemon]

SICK DAYS

kaz brekker x female! reader

A/N: Yes, I realize how cliché and very non-Kaz this is. I tried my best guys, but I am in the mood for fluff and only fluff so yeah.

Summary: After a night in the rain, Y/N has a cold and it's up to Kaz to take care of her, a difficult task indeed.

Warnings: swearing, really horrible writing, not proofread writing, just me spitting out Words™ at three in the morning

Dangerous assassins do not need sick days.

It was an extremely hypocritical thought, and Y/N knew it. She thought the thought anyway, because at this point, there seemed to be no aspect in her life that was not fueled entirely by spite.

"Please, for the love of the Saints, go to sleep, Y/N," Inej begged, forcing the woman back onto the bed. "You are sick. You need rest."

"I do not need rest, I need caffeine and waffles," the wheezing woman replied stubbornly, trying to get past Inej, who was blocking the doorway of her room. The Slat, usually thundering with noise and chatter, was silent as the grave - it was one of the rare days in Ketterdam where it was sunny, and everyone was either out enjoying the weather or enjoying pickpocketing someone who was enjoying the weather. "I am a grown-ass woman who also happens to be very good at using the bang-bang machines we call guns so please move aside, I need fresh air."

It was arguably entirely Y/N's fault that she was stuck inside in the first place - first, she had stayed out in the rain too long, despite Kaz's numerous protests. Second, she had, in a grave act of stupidity, gone down for breakfast the next morning. Normally, this would not have been a problem. However, on this particular day, her eyes were red and swollen and itchy and her lungs hurt and it was generally very obvious that she had a cold.

These were the deciding factors which led to her ultimate demise:

House arrest.

Though the fact that she was notorious for her spontaneous, impulsive, reckless, throw-caution-to-the-wind nature (along with the fact that Kaz, from multiple bad experiences he would rather not repeat, knew that she had nearly no self-preservation skills) probably had something to with it.

Also she apparently needed a chaperone. Which was probably a good idea, but Y/N wasn't about to admit that anytime soon.

"You are seventeen and you have a window, darling," the smooth voice of one Kaz Brekker, the devil himself, interrupted Y/N's feeble excuse of an escape.

"But Kaz," Y/N whined, pouting. Inej gave the man an exasperated look as if to say, See what I've been dealing with?

"Darling, you'll only have to stay here longer if you don't try and get better."

"Still."

Kaz, lips twitching in a very non-Kaz way, turned to Inej. "You can go. I suppose I'll play nursemaid."

The Wraith chucked darkly, already stepping out Y/N's window. "Good luck with that."

As soon as she had climbed out the room and was well out of earshot, Kaz turned on his heel and walked out. Y/N, thoroughly confused, took a second to contemplate whether this act was meant that she was officially free, or that she was supposed to follow him. Her question was answered a moment later when he called out, not sparing her a backwards glance, "Are you coming?"

She sighed dejectedly, following him up the stairs to hid room. With a flamboyant and smug bow, he opened the door for her. "Ladies first."

She rolled her eyes at him but entered the room nonetheless. Kaz closed the door behind him and strode heavily to his desk, taking the time to shuffle and order some papers. Y/N stood awkwardly in the middle of the room, unsure as to what in the hell she was supposed to do. Kaz flicked his eyes up to her and jerked his head towards the black-sheeted bed that occupied almost a fourth of the room.

She stared at it for a moment. "You want me to sleep. On your bed. While you watch." It came out more an incredulous statement than a question.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I can't devote all my time to taking care of you, and I also can't leave you alone unsupervised while ill. This is our compromise," Kaz explained somewhat impatiently.

"I am not going to get in that crusty-ass bed, that, in case you have forgotten, belongs to my boss, AKA you. For all I know you sleep nude."

One of Kaz's eyebrows twitched. "The sheets were changed this morning. And for the record, I don't."

"Still not going to do it. That takes the creepy-o-meter to like, a thousand."

"You're a criminal who spies on brothels. This is nothing."

"Still not doing it. This feels fundamentally wrong."

"I'll buy you a nice dagger if you just shut up and get in the damn bed." Saints, he was already exasperated, and he had barely been here five minutes. A new respect for Inej found its way into his being.

Y/N went quiet for a minute, considering. "One of the serrated ones with the fancy gilded handles?"

"Whatever dagger your heart desires."

"Two daggers and a gun."

"One dagger and a gun."

"Deal," Y/N decided, plopping down on the bed. It still felt wrong, but she did need a new dagger - Wylan had blown hers up in a previous job.

She carefully peeled the pristine sheets and blankets away from the mattress, half expecting a dozen poisonous things to pop out. The only thing it released was the strangely comforting smell of wood oil and ink (and a bit of gunpowder, but this was Kaz Brekker we're talking about).

Y/N slipped beneath the covers, her head resting comfortably on the cloud-like pillows.

I bet this bitch sleeps like a baby every night.

"I can still beat your ass, Brekker," she mumbled. Yeah, she was sick, but she also had a reputation to uphold.

"On a regular day, I have no doubt about it. Currently, you are prohibited from doing anything that isn't sleeping, peeing, or contemplating life. Doctor's orders."

"Well, I'm going to go pee then. More freedom." She attempted to stand up from the surprisingly soft bed but the in the second it took for her to try and stand, Kaz, moving surprisingly quickly for a man with a cane, pinned her to the bed by her shoulders with an exasperated sigh.

"Just stay still. Please," he breathed.

"Get me a sweet bun and maybe," she breathed back, but didn't move. Despite her almost child-like demeanor, she was one of the original Dregs, here as a child even before Kaz. He had been the only one her age when he had joined, so naturally, she had befriended him (well, as much as you can befriend Kaz Brekker). She knew about his phobia of touch, and how much it meant that he was touching her, even with his gloves on.

Kaz released her with a sigh and stalked over to his desk where he rummaged around for a bit until he produced a small tin that looked abut as old as he was. He tossed it at her and she grabbed it, opening it to see some biscuits that looked as hard as rocks. "That's all I have, and all you're going get. Don't break a tooth."

Y/N sighed, staring at the biscuits mournfully before taking one out of the tin and gnawing on it. It would have been easier to bite on the barrel of one of Jesper's guns. "You're mean."

"You're acting like a petulant child."

Y/N made a disgruntled noise from the back of her throat, sinking back into the silk pillows and wrapping the blankets tighter around her. She had made no visible mark on the cookie, and had only succeeded in covering it with slobber. She put it back in the tin and noticed Kaz wrinkle his nose at her.

She doubted the biscuits would ever see the light of day again.

She watched Kaz do his paperwork, a surprisingly interesting thing to do. He had taken off his hat and jacket, and rolled up his sleeves. He even took his gloves off, preferring to use a pen without the ridiculous slipperiness of the leather. The papers shuffled in a soothing rhythm, and soon, Y/N began to feel less cooped up and a bit more relaxed.

Ever since she had been taken away from her family and thrown onto the tiny slaving ship, Y/N had always had a touch of claustrophobia (well, it was a bit more than a touch, but she wasn't willing to admit that just yet). The tiny room with a mattress on the flooor was really just a decoration at this point - she slept on the roof most nights and every waking hour was in Ketterdam, simply walking if there were no pockets to be picked.

Drowsily, she watched as Kaz scratched something out on paper, his face creasing ever so slightly. The pen made a nice sound, she found, and paired with the strangely calming scent of his room and the rustling of papers, it made her feel almost like it was rainy day, the kind where you curled up by the fire and read a book or cuddled with someone.

"I doubt staring at my face will help you fall asleep, love," Kaz noted without looking up from his work.

"Your face is the most interesting thing here."

For the barest fraction of a second, Kaz looked like he had short-circuited. The moment was gone as soon as it came, however, and he simply raised an eyebrow at her. "You're very immature sometimes."

"Thanks!" Y/N said cheerfully. "It was the trauma."

"Trauma hardens people, it doesn't make them softer," Kaz dismissed.

"I agree wholeheartedly. However, there's a difference between an excellent mask and incompetence," she replied. "Now come over here and show what's bothering you, I can see it on your face."

Kaz looked up at her, noting the fact that she probably wouldn't shut up unless he did as she asked. He rolled his eyes, hobbling over to the bed. As he sat, she could feel his weight pushing the mattress down.

Before he could say a word, she snatched the paper in his hands and began scanning it. "What's wrong with it?"

"The numbers don't add up."

She stared at the document for another second, then back up at Kaz. "Who are you and what have you done with Kaz Brekker?"

He blinked at her.

"You forgot to carry the one. The numbers don't add up because you... well, added them wrong," she explained softly. She looked up at him, concern crossing her features. "Do you need a nap?"

Kaz huffed out a breath. "I'm fine. You're just distracting me, that's all."

"We're going to ignore the fact that you think I'm distracting and instead focus on the fact that you have not slept in several days."

Kaz's nostrils flared slightly in indignation. Before he could speak, however, Y/N cut him off. "Kaz, I have known you since I was eleven. I'm also not fucking blind. Yes, I know you are essentially running a mafia at age seventeen. Yes, I know you are under pressure. Yes, I know there is at any given moment a bounty on your head. Yes, I know I am sick and it is technically your job to take care of me. But can we please just make a deal or a truce or something in which you get some fucking rest?"

Kaz was quiet for a moment before the corner of his mouth twitched. "Always the mother hen for everyone except yourself."

She was startled into a laugh. "What can I saw, I was a born hypocrite."

Kaz did end up getting a couple hours of sleep, even if it was at Y/N's insistence.

However, he almost regretted it when Jesper barged in and, with a gleeful cackle, found them both sleeping in the same bed with one of his legs pressed up against hers - Kaz's version of flat-out cuddling.

Almost.

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