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#Kaz Brekker fics
aerequets · 5 months
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trying to erase the trace of...
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exyzedd · 5 months
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cannot stop making textposts😔👍🏼
(pics used aren't mine)
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happyhauntt · 27 days
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— march fic recs, brought to you by happyhauntt.
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a wee fic rec post for a few of the fics i read in march that altered my brain chemistry!! i've put a lil comment next to each rec because honestly writers don't get praised enough for their work these days and i wanted to show my appreciation for these talented souls!!
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grishaverse.
➡ kaz brekker.
what do you want from me by @rubysunnday. notes: literally perfect wtf.
dark days by rubysunnday. notes: i reread this literally constantly, it is so perfect, kaz's characterisation is perfect, i adore it.
bloody hands by rubysunnday. notes: i devoured this whole thing like a starving person it was sO good.
when am i gonna lose you? by @crowsmybeloveds. notes: this is so beautiful honestly i have no words.
the lost princess by @ellewritesalright. notes: look it's only part one but elle is a fucking wizard and i'm a sucker for an anastasia au.
you and me (a whole lot of history) by @heliads. notes: this was so cute and such a clever concept i fell in love!!!
schat by @amourology. notes: fully choked this is so adorable.
soulmate by @magpiencrow. notes: KAZ BREKKER SOULMATE AU didn't know i needed this but now i need 100 more!!!!
➡ nikolai lantsov.
nine long years series by @ellewritesalright. notes: i am actively fucking screaming over this fic. i will never stop. this might genuinely be the best thing i've read in a LONG while. everything about it has me sobbing i actively CANNOT COPE. and it's not even finished yet.
one of us by @songofpatrochilless. notes: literally had me sobbing you don't understand the domesticity of it all!!!!!.
come on back to me by @atlabeth. notes: there is a very strong chance that i'll literally never stop screaming about this fic.
dreams of you by @wh0refornikolailantsov. notes: every cell in my body is SCREAMING.
this love by @lantsovsupremacist. notes: did not, in fact, give you permission to hurt me like this do it again.
salt in the wound by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: brain goes brrrr this has everything i need to survive tbh.
wanting was enough by @rubysunnday. notes: beautiful stunning magnificent i want to eat it.
an exhausted smile by @writing-havoc. notes: think i had an aneurysm reading this it was that amazing.
run away with me by @sumsebien. notes: i am still sobbing over this.
in emerald hearts, emerald minds by @undiscovered-horizon. notes: love love love love love. there aren't enough words in any language to describe how much i love this.
➡ alina starkov.
alina starkov x reader by @heliads. notes: alina does not get nearly enough love and this was so fucking sad and cute and brilliant.
➡ nina zenik.
the ten steps to 'i love you' by @sophierequests. notes: this was SO HEARTWARMING AND SWEET i adored it!!!
➡ zoya nazyalensky.
forget-me-nots by @syllvane. notes: not enough zoya fics on this hellsite. but also this ripped my heart out and made me sob so RUDE. i feel devastated.
➡ inej ghafa.
inej ghafa x reader by @heliads. notes: INEJ MY SWEET BABY, this fic is everything to me. everything. and it's so beautifully written!!!
➡ the darkling.
the dark side of the moon series by @myhairpintrigger. notes: this fic is ASTOUNDING. i haven’t cried this much reading something in a long time. i was FULL-BODY SOBBING. i don’t even like the darkling. i am Not a darkling girlie. but i was intrigued by concept of this fic and i can safely say it has ruined my life. this is Emotional Damage Incarnate. i will never recover. author, i salute you.
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911.
through the smoke by @borntobewondering. notes: spent twenty whole minutes sobbing after reading this. i felt undone i felt hollow i felt so utterly fucked. author is a genius and that's all there is to say.
not so one night stand by @shmaptainwrites. notes: this was so fuckin adorable i'm in love.
d.c. to l.a. by shmaptainwrites. notes: bobby my guy just doesn't get enough fucking credit and this is so fucking adorable.
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criminal minds.
➡ spencer reid.
trouble almost all my life by @januaryembrs. notes: this series is. it's literally. everything. i love bugsy like she's my own child. sister relationships are everything to me. i spent an hour sobbing in my bed over parts 2 and 3. i want this tattooed on my forehead.
➡ aaron hotchner.
found by @benedictscanvas. notes: DADDY i mean what. all jokes aside this was so sweet and beautiful and i'm in love the writing!!!
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doctor who.
rage rage (against the dying of the light) by @morganas-pendragons. notes: felt feral after reading this. kayla just gets me in my feels every time.
heartbeat by morganas-pendragons. notes: this was the most emotional devastating thing i've ever read and i fully needed 3-5 business days to recover. rude. i want 100 more.
untitled by morganas-pendragons. notes: PAIN i love this so much.
ache by morganas-pendragons. notes: just scoop my heart out of my fucking chest i don't want it anymore after reading this.
a mind full of blissful terrors by @magiccath. notes: simply fucking amazing.
light in the dark by @i-imagine-my-doctor. notes: screaming please i adore this so much.
baby talk by @kisstherainwriting. notes: THE ABSOLUTE CUTIEST EVER. there's not enough clara fics and this had me squealing and feeling all warm and fuzzy!!!
holding my hand by kisstherainwriting. notes: angst galore this was STUNNING.
in another's eyes by @cas-kingdom. notes: PERFECTION.
where do we go now series by @theetherealbloom. notes: literally so fucking amazing i don't have enough words.
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marauders.
the winner takes it all by @ellecdc. notes: brb faye is having a STROKE--
come back, be here series by ellecdc. notes: i think i had a full on stroke while reading this series. the attention to detail is insane. the characterisation is perfect.
i don't know you anymore (maybe i never really did) by @thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels. notes: SCREECHING i'm in love you don't understand.
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bridgerton.
➡ anthony bridgerton.
distractions by @peterpparkrr. notes: simply immaculate.
right person, all the wrong times by @wwinterwitch. notes: did you mean one of my favourite tropes bc this is it.
right in front of me by @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69 & @thirteenisles. notes: i felt feral after reading this tbh.
➡ sibling!reader.
reluctant caretaker by @rubysunnday. notes: this fic hit my heart in all the right places okay sibling stuff means everything to me.
did she have a cookie by rubysunnday. notes: a joyous read from start to finish i CACKLED the whole way through.
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moon knight.
come back to me by @mgparker. notes: still sobbing. immaculate.
the other sarcophagus by @starryevermore. notes: i literally reread this constantly i adore it so much!!
marc spector x reader by @softlyspector. notes: i had an aneurysm reading this and i haven't been the same since.
more marc spector x reader by softlyspector. notes: i am having an intense emotion hold on. anytime i see autistic stuff in canon content for any fandom i SQUEAK. and this is so well done honestly.
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star wars.
heartless by @youvebeenlivingfictional. notes: i reread this constantly, it's so amazing and heartwrenching and beautiful and i want to eat it.
little talks by @light-yaers. notes: you simply do not understand how much i adore everything beff writes. i adore this fic more than i need oxygen to breathe.
right where you left me series by light-yaers. notes: personality-defining series. i LIVE for this fic. every update adds five years to my lifespan. if you're not reading this you are MISSING OUT.
a light, a song, a bluebird by @millllenniawrites. notes: made me SOB 10/10 would recommend if you like emotional trauma.
invisible string by @campingwiththecharmings. notes: pining!!! loneliness!!! i adore!!!
hard landings by @softlyspector. notes: no. no you don't understand. this fic doesn't just own my soul it is my soul. i want it tattooed on my face.
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misc.
hopper x reader by @luveline. notes: you don't understand this might be the cutest shit i've ever read and jade is a fellow welsh person which automatically makes them brilliant in my book.
muña by @in-my-feels-probably. notes: alicent means fucking everything to me and this had me sobbing.
mistletoe magic by @writingsbychlo. notes: literally the cutest fucking thing ever, had me kicking my legs and squealing!!
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a-asterias · 1 year
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— micaela's february recs
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ty to all these amazing writers who have left me with butterflies in my stomach and/or tears rolling down my face, much appreciated <3
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GRISHAVERSE
— nikolai lantsov.
young royals by @clairecrive
currents by @lantsovsupremacist
↳ you are in love
the art of pretension by @fleurspun
↳ sick and stubborn
↳ healer's duties
love language by @fishley
speak up by @prince-septimus
sugar cube by @magpiencrow
a dare for a truth by @sumsebien
— kaz brekker.
when am i gonna lose you? by @crowsmybeloveds
confrontations in a lonely club by @curseofaphrodite
what do you want from me? by @romeomontaague
silent birthdays by @amourology
↳ schat
you are done for by @sumsebien
this is what happens by @fishley
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MARVEL
— peter parker.
you more than anything by @nghtwngs
↳ you love me, i love you
on that rooftop by @nezuscribe
skateboards, the force, and a lack of pants by @damnedparker
secrets and skateparks by @earthgirl616
aurora by @mgparker
scenes from a modern romance by @dameronology
— marc spector.
just let me dream a little more by @the-archxr
— matt murdock.
green is the color by @courtforshort15
the defence rests by @dameronology
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OUTER BANKS
— jj maybank.
hot for a pogue by @butgilinsky
meet me at our spot by @amourology
— rafe cameron.
midsummers by @butgilinsky
so gorgeous it actually hurts by @folkloreslovechild
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HARRY POTTER
— fred weasley.
after all this time by @httpbakugou
MARAUDERS
— james potter.
five times james wanted to kiss you and the one time he did by @moonlitmeeks
— sirius black.
all your fault by @heloisedaphnebrightmore
↳ absurd ideas
'cause i don't want you like a best friend by @evermoreal
grand scheme by @fishley
— remus lupin.
it's time to go by @godlessandwrecked
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BRIDGERTON
— benedict bridgerton.
en garde by @delphispoeticals
show me love by @romeomontaague
— anthony bridgerton.
should've never let go by @writeroutoftime
illicit affairs by @marwritesgood
— colin bridgerton.
alone together by @romeomontaague
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TOP GUN
— bradley bradshaw.
delirium by @kyber-crystal
↳ head in the clouds
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ENOLA HOLMES
— sherlock holmes.
invisible string by @marwritesgood
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AVATAR
— lo'ak.
in full bloom by @loaksky
— neteyam.
warm hands by @loaksky
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HOUSE OF THE DRAGON
— aemond targaryen.
corridor kisses by @flowerpotmage
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olskuvallanpoe · 2 months
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a soc fic that’s just inej’s parents realizing their future son-in-law is a literal murderer and gang boss
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rubysunnday · 1 year
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love language
summary: the few ways in which Kaz shows his love for Y/N
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Opening night of the new Crow Club meant Y/N hadn't stopped all day. She'd been running around serving drinks and keeping an eye on the Makker's table all whilst making sure Jesper didn't gamble away everything Kaz had given him as a thank you for the Pekka Rollins job.
She hadn't stopped and now, four hours in to the night, she was tired. Her face hurt from smiling and she was almost certain that there were a few blisters on her feet.
As she set the drinks tray full of empty glasses down onto rhe bar, one of the newer members of the Dreg's appeared at her side, silently waiting for her to notice him.
"Yes?" Y/N asked tiredly. She couldn't remember his name.
"The boss wants you?"
"Who? Kaz."
"Yeah. He's in the corner."
Y/N followed the boy's vague waft of a hand and spotted Kaz sitting in a dark, seclude corner, his cane in his hands. She sighed but stepped away from the bar, weaving through the mass of people until she was in front of his table.
"What?"
"Nice to see you too," Kaz replied. "How's it going?"
Y/N's eyes narrowed, slightly suspicious. "Fine."
Kaz waved a hand and suddenly one of the barmaids appeared and set a drink down on the table in front of Y/N.
"For you," Kaz said. "As a thank you."
Y/N picked up the glass, ice jingling inside it. "So, Jesper gets money -"
"This is a thank you for what you've done tonight," Kaz replied. "The other thank you is currently clearing at the bank."
Y/N took a cautious sip. It was her favourite drink. Granted, it was the only thing she tended to order, but she was amazed that Kaz had actually remembered what it was.
"It's not poisoned."
"Even if it was, I'd still drink it, i'm desperate," Y/N replied, taking another, bigger sip.
Kaz nodded. "Don't overwork yourself. There are others who can do it for you."
Y/N smiled slightly. "I know."
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Wylan had blown out all the candles in his lab and put his experiments to bed. Their sleeping situation wasn't ideal - at least Wylan's floor was clean and he'd had extra pillows.
Kaz had yet to go to sleep. He doubted that he would at all that night. His leg ached and his mind was racing with plan after plan.
Everyone else had, eventually, fallen asleep. Jesper had been first and was now snoring away, his face buried under the duvet. Nina hadn't been long after him, curled up in a ball, a heavy blanket on top of her, hiding most of her face. Wylan had quietly fallen asleep after Nina, propped up on a pillow, a piece of paper and a pen on his lap.
Inej had been trying not to fall asleep but had failed, her head slumped to the side, her hand on one of her knives.
Which left Y/N. Y/N had been sat up against a wall, numerous pillows underneath her, acting as a mattress. And, as Kaz looked over, she had slid down the wall and was now fast asleep, her chin resting on top of her chest.
Kaz grunted as he stood up. He limped down a step and picked up a folded blanket from the pile Wylan had produced. With a gentle shake, he unfolded it and walked over to Y/N's sleeping body. As carefully as he could, he laid it over the top of her, gently tucking the edges in around her.
Y/N shifted slightly but didn't wake. Kaz stepped back and watched her for a moment before walking back to the steps and sitting back down.
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They'd all ran into the chapel without a second thought, slamming the door shut behind them in a weak attempt to keep the volcra at bay.
Y/N fell back against the door, putting her entire weight against it as thevolcra tried to break in. Tolya and Tamar came either side of her, squishing her between them, as they also put their weight against the door.
"Jesper, hon," Y/N said. "Wanna do your magic trick?"
"Oh, yeah, right," Jesper said, handing his revolvers to Wylan. He shooed at the three of them. "Move."
"Please," Y/N muttered, pushing herself off the wall and away from the door.
She walked forward, coming to a stop beside Kaz, her arm brushing the sleeve of his jacket. Wylan, who was stood in front of her, abruptly took a step back into Y/N. Y/N grabbed his arm and was about to ask what was wrong when she saw it.
Slowly forming in front of the stained glass window of Sankt Alina was one of Kirigan's nichevo'ya.
"Um, guys," Y/N called. "There's a shadow thing in here."
Then chaos unfolded. The nichevo'ya launched at them and they all scattered, falling into the pews and onto the floor to try and avoided the reach of the shadows. Wylan threw a small bomb at the advancing shadow and it dispersed into nothing, a few bright blue sparks the only sign it'd ever been there.
Y/N pulled herself up using a pew and exhaled a sigh of relief. She looked up and saw Jesper's face drop from a smile to absolute horror. Y/N turned around and saw another nichevo'ya looming behind her. It's tendrils shot out at Y/N.
Someone tackled Y/N to the side, into Nikolai, sending them both to the floor. The nichevo'ya's tendrils slammed into the pillar beside them before Nadia and Adrik dispersed it with a blast of air.
Y/N rolled over, almost lying on top of Nikolai, and saw Kaz sprawled on the ground beside her. He stood his cane up and pushed himself to his feet, quickly moving out the way as Tolya ran over to check on Nikolai.
"Where does it keep coming from?" Y/N asked. Tolya extended a hand and pulled her to her feet. Y/N groaned, wobbling slightly. Nikolai put a hand on her shoulder as he also stood. She nodded, reaching up and giving his hand a reassuring squeeze.
As the others began talking tactics and plans, Y/N looked over at Kaz, who was stood apart from everyone else.
"Thank you," she mouthed, putting a hand over her heart for a moment.
Kaz gave her a single nod.
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"I've got a delivery here for a Y/N Orlova?"
Y/N poked her head out from under a table and then glanced over at Nina. "What've you been using my name for now?"
Nina held her hands up. "Not me."
Y/N stood up, dusting her hands down on her trousers. "What is it?" She asked the delivery man.
He shrugged. "Don't know, I just delivery it, my dude."
"Helpful," Y/N muttered, taking the parcel from the man.
She set it down on a table as Nina moved over to join her.
"It could be a bomb," she said.
Y/N gave her an unconvinced look. "It's from Johannes' Bakery. Besides, I doubt a bomb maker would go to the trouble of," she unfolded the flaps of the box, "wrapping a box in purple ribbon and writing my name on an envelope."
Nina reached in and took the envelope, pulling the flap open and then taking the card out. "Happy birthday Y/N." Nina paused and looked at her friend. "It's your birthday?"
Y/N nodded. "Ahuh."
"You didn't say anything."
"Never do."
"But we could've -"
"Nina, stop complaining and help me."
Nina put the card down and grabbed the bottom of the box, pulling it down and away from the cake box within. Y/N carefully set the cake box down on the table.
"Who's sent you a cake?" Nina asked, sliding into a chair.
Y/N undid the ribbon, pulling the bow out. "I couldn't tell you. I don't tend to advertise my birthday anymore."
Nina leant forward. "Hurry up and open it then."
With the ribbon undone, the cake box lid came off easily. Inside was a heart shaped cake covered in purple icing with pink and white sugar flowers around the edge. Happy Birthday Y/N was written on the top in white icing.
"Oh, my saints," Nina said. "It's beautiful."
Y/N carefully slid the cake out of the box and onto the table. "What did the note say?"
"Uh... happy birthday, thank you for everything, Mr R," Nina read out. She frowned. "Who's Mr R?"
"Why do you expect me to know?" Y/N muttered. "I've not a clue."
The front door to the Crow Club opened and Jesper and Wylan walked in, hand in hand.
"Who's cake is that?" Wylan asked, dropping Jesper's hand and heading over to the table.
"Y/N's," Nina replied.
Wylan looked at her. "It's your birthday?"
"Yup." Y/N nodded. "I don't tell people."
Jesper joined them and pressed a kiss to Y/N's cheek. "Happy birthday, love. The cake isn't from me."
"I suspected as much," Y/N muttered. "It's too nice."
Jesper laughed sarcastically. "Thanks."
From the doorway leading up to Kaz's office, a shadow slinked away and up the stairs. They pushed open the office door and hovered behind Kaz as he scribbled away.
"Well?" He prompted.
Inej walked forward and perched herself on the edge of his desk. "She loves it." She paused. "I think that's the sweetest -"
"That's all, Inej." Kaz picked up an envelope and handed it to her. "Take that to Johannes' Bakery. It's payment for Y/N's cake."
Inej nodded. She stood up and paused. "I still can't believe you bought -"
"Pay the bakery man, Inej, stop commenting on my private matters," Kaz drawled.
Inej rolled her eyes. "Fine."
She stepped out onto the landing and climbed down the stairs, not bothering to be silet.
"Inej!" Y/N yelled, hearing her friend come down the stairs. "You must try this cake, it is divine!"
Inej smiled to herself and tucked the envelope into her pocket. "You've got a cake?" She said, walking into the main floor and acting surprised. "Who sent you a cake?"
"Not a clue," Y/N replied. "But whoever it was, I love them." She took another bite and hummed happily. "Best cake ever."
Upstairs, Kaz leant over the balcony, evesdropping on his crows below. He smiled to himself and stepped back, retreating back to his office.
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criesinliess · 2 months
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━FEBRUARY 2024; susan's recs
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PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS
━━LUKE CASTELLAN
look at me @indecisivemuch
apples @↑
love me anyway @okaytapes
a rose and her thorns @atlabeth
always an angel, never a god @cobrakaisb
when you get me alone, it’s so simple @emiliehornby
what’s a girl gonna do when she’s in love with you? @↑
kiss of life; part2 @sunsburns
you free 2night? @ilycosy
the killerverse @tangledinlove — still ongoing but one of my favorite things rn, luke and killer my beloved
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STRANGER THINGS
━━STEVE HARRINGTON
dark honey; part2 @caxde
closeness @↑
picking drunk reader up @weird-is-life
go for it @nervoushottee 
pretty girl @stevie-petey
oh, you didn’t know? @↑
(it’s not like) he’s my boyfriend @luveline
small hands, big heart @sexybabystevie
adventures in babysitting @worth-the-chaos — also still ongoing but you absolutely have to read it!! masterpiece
season two of „come home” @stevie-petey — i recommend season one last month and if u didn’t read it yet you should go and change that! i am living just so i can read new chapters
you and i (back at it again) @lighteyed
━━EDDIE MUNSON
candygram @hellfirenacht
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ONE PIECE
━━ZORO
lips on every cross @revasserium
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LOCKWOOD & CO
━━ANTHONY LOCKWOOD
buy me presents! @lewkwoodnco
i got options, babe @↑
unacceptable @atlabeth
far too young to die @↑
happiness @tangledinlove
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OUTER BANKS
━━JJ MAYBANK
opposites attract @maybankswhore
━━RAFE CAMERON
be my once in a lifetime @erwinsvow
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DIVERGENT
━━PETER HAYES
bad liars @heliads
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THE BEAR
━━CARMY BERZATTO
february fluff @cloveroctobers
confectionary clash @newtkive
practice @↑
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GRISHAVERSE
━━KAZ BREKKER
cause it’s you @bubbles-for-all-of-us
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MARVEL
━━MIGUEL O’HARA
the grump & the drunk @t-lostinworlds
━━BUCKY BARNES
5 times there was only one bed (and the one time there were two beds) @mrs-illyrian-baby
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CHRONICLES OF NARNIA
━━EDMUND PEVENSIE
ye of little faith @pariahsparadise
PROM PACT
━━BEN PLUNKETT
third times a charm @manheimsmuse
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jccatstudios · 1 month
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late night doodle: "Dirk" and Jesper from the fic "A World Alone" by @19burstraat
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a-reverii · 4 months
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▸ REVERII'S DECEMBER FIC RECS
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━━ ✰ THE WIZARDING WORLD.
sirius black
aren't promises meant to be broken? ⇢ @perpetuallydaydreaming
style. ⇢ @bealovesmarauders
his favorite neighbour. ⇢ @kquil
attention. ⇢ @/kquil
right where i want to be. ⇢ @appocalipse
the dark night. ⇢ @bruisedboys
oblivious. ⇢ @bitesizedgremlin
regulus black
hidden messages in foreign languages. ⇢ @applebutter-and-cinnamon
vivre d'amour et d'eau fraîche. ⇢ @/deactivated
his last letter. ⇢ @hamlets-ak
tricks and charms. ⇢ @curseofaphrodite
across the sea. ⇢ @/curseofaphrodite
the night we met. ⇢ @/curseofaphrodite
frosted practices. ⇢ @henqtic
remus lupin
by tired hands. ⇢ @luveline
skirts. @flwrbo
not so secret admirer. @/kquil
you're losing me. @astonishment
never his. @weasleykisses
wherever you stray i follow. @mediocre-daydreams
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━━ ( navigation ) ( masterlist ) ( request )
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writers in the shower: yess and that would happen mmm such a plot twist YES THIS MAY BE THE BEST THING I WILL EVER WRITE
writers when they’re about to write on the blank paper: tf was i gonna do again
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spideytingley · 4 months
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my fic recs!
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marvel
peter parker
identity crisis by @heliads
bucky barnes
time after time (on-going series) by @intrepidacious
heal me, baby by @intrepidacious
first date, last night by @intrepidacious
little lion man by @wkemeup
these ties that bind by sweetascanbee on ao3
steve rogers
no other shade of blue by @barnesafterglow
love bites (series) by starfleetstgmgr on ao3
invisible string (series) by gracehateseggnog on ao3
pietro maximoff
hole in the wall by @sebsbarnes
realign by @astxrwar soulmate au
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percy jackson and the olympians
luke castellan
a place with you by @supercutszns
fighting chance by @supercutszns
rotten to the touch by @supercutszns
bleedin’ me dry by @atlabeth
i beg you (and you don’t understand) by @emiliehornby
daylight, part 2, part 3 by @tangledinlove
percy jackson
anti-curse by @kamaluhkhan
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dc
dick grayson
the moon will sing (on-going series) by minnieears on ao3
jason todd
window pains by @sanguineterrain
reflections of you by dizarys on ao3
romantics by @yourlocalcringydaydreamer
suds and buds (yeah, sure) (series) by sbambs on ao3
baby steps (on-going series) by @lightwing-s
she hates me (series) by minnieears on ao3
damian wayne
flowers (series) by stargazer_lily_1996 on ao3. soulmate au
tim drake
late night park walks by @lightwing-s
sleepless nights by starkk on ao3. soulmate au
who we are (on-going series) by minnieears on ao3
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the hunger games
finnick odair
our song and dance (on-going series) by @mrs-kmikaelson
one for the road by @libertyybellls
lover/fighter (on-going series) by aurabella on ao3 @bluemidnightmelody
cato
supernova (on-going series) by glossyybabie on ao3
it might kill me (on-going series) by frick6101719 on ao3
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grishaverse
kaz brekker
bejeweled by @reve-writes
dense by @reve-writes
nikolai lantsov
come on back to me by @atlabeth
bad luck by @atlabeth
nine long years (on-going series) by @ellewritesalright
enchanted by @in-my-feels-probably
a familiar melody by thehistoriangirl on ao3
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bridgerton
benedict bridgerton
drunk sketches by @delehosies
a lady’s guide to surviving the ton by @atlabeth
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ACOTAR
azriel
the green emotion by @utterlyazriel
love will unravel me (so please keep your hands held tight) by @utterlyazriel
daughter of autumn by @writingcroissant
nightlight (on-going series) by @azsazz
cassian
flames and embers by @hellodarling1357
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star wars
anakin skywalker
shifting gears by awritesthings1 on ao3
the handmaiden (on-going series) by rufflesandbows on ao3
my very soul (on-going series) by skywalkerog on ao3 @anakinskywalkerog
obi-wan kenobi
fleeting moments (series) by fitzfiles on ao3
555 notes · View notes
capinejghafa · 1 year
Text
I know this is a little dumb but I just love reading fics that have Kaz bypassing all of the Van Eck’s mansion security measures post-canon. For whatever reason it makes me smile. Like Kaz use the front door, Wylan and Jesper might let you in, and he never does. Good for him.
2K notes · View notes
exyzedd · 6 months
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;)
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moonstruck-poet · 11 months
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His Love Language
Pairing - Kaz Brekker x reader!
Summary - This fic depicts Kaz and the subtle ways in which he shows his love.
Warnings - curse words, injury, wounds, blood, fight.
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Kaz Brekker noticed everything. Whether it be someone cheating in a game of cards, enemies tailing him during his walk, or even his crows being unlike their usual selves.
Because he always paid more attention to what a person is doing than what they're saying. Talk may thrill, but action reveals.
He had an eye for taking in the details. It was both terrifying and beautiful.
Terrifying for his rivals of course. He knew exactly what to pull off and how to pull it off for them to go insane.
And beautiful for his love, his one and only. Him having such a knack for remembering the littlest of things helped him immensely in his relationship with you.
Not many people noticed it before, not even you yourself. But as time passed, you learned that his love language were actions. Not physical touches, words of affirmations, gifts and presents. No.
But it was all about those small acts showcased by him that made you fall deeper for the bastard of the barrel. Your heart now always took notice whenever he did the most mundane things for you. It immediately took up its pace and reminded you of the exact reason why it still kept on beating.
Your fellow crows took a hell of time to gather just how deep the love of Kaz Brekker was. But once they did, saints were they both shocked and ecstatic.
All of them had their own doubts when they came to know of your relationship. Nobody was a stranger to the fact that both of you were extremely closed off people. Not opening more than what was necessary, and in the case of Kaz, not opening up at all.
But one look at the way you two understood each other without even having to express, made them believe that you two would make each other happy.
===============================
Dirtyhands had struck another deal with a man named Arken Viking. The plan seemed quite simple, understandable even when it was explained.
And naturally everybody was feeling good knowing that they had a hundred percent chance of survival as it wasn't a difficult mission by any means. It just had a lot of steps that needed to be followed and so all seven of them were heavily involved.
Jesper, Wylan, Kaz and Matthias were waiting for the other girls to arrive. It was the final task of the day and they would then carry on again tomorrow.
Jesper was the one to pace around, unable to sit still in one place. He hated waiting more than anything else. Ask him to put up some money for a gamble? It would be done without wasting a second. Task him with shooting something impossibly far away? He'd have it completed before you could say shoot. But staying put in one place, he couldn't do it.
It was only for Wylan engaging with him that he even sat for ten minutes.
"Where did they go?" He grumbled and finally got up, stretching his legs and walking to stand near the two men who stared ahead, their expressions tight.
"They're late," Matthias muttered, trying his best to hide the worry he felt for a specific one but it was useless, all of them knew about his feelings but him.
"It'll be fine, they'll be here soon," Wylan said, standing next to Jesper and blushing very slightly when the tall boy leaned his shoulder against his and let out a sigh.
"You're sure that there's no danger right, Kaz?" Jesper asked and looked at his boss who didn't look away. His eyes firmly set on the road in front of them.
"Yes," he spoke, sure of himself. But there was this slight, very tiny nagging in the back of his mind that something had gone terribly wrong and he clenched his jaw.
But all of their worries dissipated at seeing the silhouette of three women walking towards them.
Matthias let out a sigh of relief once he saw Nina's bright face, him sending a quick prayer to Djel for looking over the three.
Kaz felt himself lighten instantly, his previously tensed posture relaxed as he saw you looking positively unscathed. His eyes found yours instantly and you sent him a smile, while quickly closing the distance between you two.
"You're late," was all he said, his eyes sweeping over everyone before landing on your figure which was leaning against the wall, right next to him.
"Let us live a little, Brekker," Nina rolled her eyes while Inej shook her head, though she too smirked.
"We were worried," Wylan was the one to speak that was on the tip of everybody's tongue.
"All of you?" She said with a raised eyebrow, looking pointedly at Kaz who merely glared at her sharply.
"Obviously!" Jesper exclaimed. "Now that you're all here, we can finally get some well deserved rest. Kaz let's take a room somewhere, yeah?"
"We can't," he said, turning his eyes away from you, rather unwillingly actually.
"What do you mean we can't?"
"Use your eyes, Jes," Inej said with a teasing smile. "Do you see any shops, hotels or anything nearby?"
"Then where the hell are we sleeping?" Nina said with a incredulous look. "I am not going to lie down in the middle of the street!"
Jesper too looked alarmed at the prospect and whipped his head around to stare at their leader.
"You think I'd let everyone sleep on the roads?"
"Can't put anything past you at this point," she grumbled and you laughed making Kaz give you a disbelieving expression.
"There's a warehouse ten minutes from here, we'll stay there for the night".
All of them groaned loudly at the thought of walking once again but soon started their small journey. And once they had reached the place, Jesper quite literally threw open the doors and scanned the area.
"Clean enough," he shrugged and laid the small blankets they had brought onto the floor. "Good night then," he waved lazily and Wylan followed his lead but not before gazing fondly at him for a few seconds.
"You failed to mention this in you plan, Kaz," Nina shot him a look and dragged her belongings to the corner of the room, accompanied by Inej and Matthias.
"Let's sleep, shall we?" You said softly and he nodded, taking off his coat while you arranged the sheets and removed your shoes, sighing at finally being able to rest.
He laid down himself, his body close to yours so your arms brushed a little. "You're okay, aren't you?"
"I'm all good," you turned your head to face him, taking in his features that you so loved. From his dark brown eyes that softened at your reply to his hands placed in front of him, the pale skin shining under the minimum lighting present.
He gave a curt nod and scanned your face once before closing his eyes, depriving himself of your addictive beauty.
"Night," you whispered and turned on your side, one hand under your head for support and the other lying in front. He didn't reply but instead reach ahead to brush his thumb against your forearm and interlocking your little fingers together.
You smiled, him being the last thought in your mind before sleep overtook you.
The rest of the night passed in peace before it was time for the sunrise. Naturally Kaz, Inej and Matthias were the first ones to wake. The rest were all sleeping soundly and soft breaths echoed in the room.
Kaz was looking over the layout of the building once again, making sure that everything would go on without any problems or worries when suddenly your knee brushed against his.
He stiffened at the contact for a second before turning around to see you pulling your legs up to your chest and curling into a ball. He immediately spotted the goosebumps that littered your arms and an unnoticeable shiver pass through you.
His eyes searched for a spare blanket somewhere but found none as all were used as mattresses for everybody to lay on. A small frown marked his lips as his mind raced and landed on a conclusion.
He took his coat that he had used as a pillow and dusted it before gently putting it over your body. Your curled figure made it easier and he adjusted it, making sure the warm jacket covered you completely.
You involuntarily grabbed the collar, your eyes still shut and cuddled into it.
While he felt himself ease up with satisfaction and he shot you one last look, unable to keep the fondness away from his gaze and returned to check the papers.
Matthias who had been watching the unspoken exchange felt his insides warming up at seeing the cold and distant demeanour of Kaz Brekker melting a little for you.
===============================
Predictably, the heist was successful and no one had expected anything less. In fact, it had gone a little more than satisfactory. They had no troubles waiting for them inside the building and no distractions outside too.
So to conclude, everybody was high on the fact that they had managed to pull it off with such stealth.
They were all given their paychecks when they returned back home.
"Saints," Jesper sighed and lovingly twirled the kruge in his fingers while Wylan unknown to anyone else but you shot tiny daggers at those pieces of money.
You hid your smirk, keeping the check in your pocket and walked over to your friend, "I understand, Wy," you patted his shoulder sympathetically while he became red.
"What do you understand?" He asked hurriedly and avoided eye contact.
"Oh come on," you chuckled. "I know about your not so little feelings. You fancy him, don't you?"
"No I don't," he mumbled and rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe just a little," he added as an afterthought.
You just brought him in a comforting side hug, quite endeared by the boy and ruffled his already wild hair. "I hate to say it, but he's more oblivious than anyone".
"I know," he groaned in exasperation, resting his head on your shoulder as you were considerably taller than him.
"Planning to steal her from Brekker?" Nina's playful words broke their conversation making the others laugh.
"Who's stealing what from me?" The man himself entered, as usual being perfect in his timing of showing up at the most unnecessary of times.
Wylan immediately removed your arm from his shoulder but Kaz being himself obviously glimpsed it. His expression did not betray anything, it was carefully kept stoic and calm. But he couldn't fool you, there was a reason why he'd let you walk fearlessly into his locked up heart.
His eyes seemed sullen for just a fraction of second. He wasn't reacting on the joke, of course not. He was now used to the crows trying to make him jealous. But rather the thing that had made him feel lost, was touch.
His inability to provide you with every bit of himself was killing him inside. For heaven's sake he couldn't even bear to embrace you without feeling as though he were on the edge and one small step would make him fall deeper into the oceans.
He swallowed and averted his gaze making you stare at him even more, trying to figure out what was bothering him.
You got up from your place and went over to sit in a chair beside him, keeping the distance because you weren't sure if he was okay with the proximity or not. But then he himself shifted his chair, and your legs brushed making him pull away quickly.
"Kaz," you said worriedly, moving back a little. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing," he lied and you frowned. He knew very well that you could tell he was being untruthful.
He willed his mind to focus on you rather than his surroundings and took your hand in his, taking a deep breath despite the barrier of his glove.
But it wasn't enough, he felt the strange need to be even closer to you despite his brain screaming in denial. And for the second time in his life, he decided to go with his heart and looked you in the eyes, noticing your evident concern as you approached him cautiously.
He gave his surroundings a quick scan. It was only the seven of them and they were all minding their own business. He made a split decision and started taking the glove off of his right hand.
You didn't say anything, finally understanding that he needed your touch and you were more than happy to provide.
He stopped in his tracks after pulling it off, staring at his pale, vulnerable hand.
"It's okay," you whispered softly, fighting the urge to lean over yourself. "I'm here. It's just you and me. You can do this".
He looked unsure but slowly extended it towards you. It wasn't like he hadn't done it before, he had, but it had been quite a long time ago.
He gently brushed his fingertips over your palm and relaxed when no waters rose. He nudged his little finger with yours and looked up to see you before locking them.
Your face held a small, adoring smile. It was so simple, yet so complex. You squeezed gently once and he returned it instantly making you laugh softly.
He felt strange in a good way, as if he had accomplished everything he wanted when he had only heard the sound of your laughter.
"Okay you two stop your gossiping, it's dinner time," Jesper broke the moment and was rewarded with a threatening glare. He just grinned in return when his eyes fell on a hand, Kaz's hand to be specific and his mouth hung open slightly.
"Never seen a hand before?" Kaz raised an eyebrow and swiftly pulled on the glove.
He looked away, his mind still trying to figure it out as he grabbed the plates.
You stood up from your seat much to Kaz's displeasure who shot a heartbroken look your way that you missed. But Jesper caught on as he was sitting right opposite.
He'd never thought that he would live to see the day when Dirtyhands would look sad like a lovesick puppy. He was debating with himself whether he even saw it happening because the look was gone in less than a second, replaced by his usual dark gaze.
But he was cut off from his thoughts when you smiled at him, keeping a plate of food on the table. "Enjoy".
"Yeah, 'course love".
All of them were now sitting at the table for the first time in months. They just never seemed to have a time fixed that would match everyone's schedule. And for most part, they were all lazy as well.
You were sitting at the corner of the table with Nina at the opposite side, her having every bit of your attention at the moment as she chatted away happily much to the disappointment of the man sitting to your right.
"The cake is great, Nina," Inej complimented her and she gave her a wink in return.
"It is nice," Matthias agreed making the said chef blush despite her smirk.
"Yeah I love it," Wylan smiled brightly.
"Oh damn," you winced as the spoon fell down with a loud clatter, breaking the conversation for a bit before it resumed again.
Inej watched you with amusement, laughing at your resigned expression when you bent down to retrieve it with a sigh. But then her eyes widened in surprise.
Kaz Brekker, the most ruthless man she'd ever met was maybe not that uncaring. She merely watched as his hand went to cover the sharp corner of the table as if it was an everyday occurence.
And you got up, putting the spoon away to take a new one when you stopped mid-action to see a gloved hand had been placed inches above your head that would have definitely rubbed against the edge.
At the moment all that existed for you was the person sitting right next to you. You stared at him blankly, planting holes on the side of his face.
He, sensing it turned to look at you, raising his eyebrows as though to ask, 'What?'
But you just shook your head and offered him a small smile and you swore you saw his lip twitch slightly.
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"Ready Inej?" You asked, as softly as you could muster though you were shaking inside, knowing that you two only had one shot at this.
"All ready," she whisperer back and crouched down slightly, preparing to jump.
A gunshot was heard and the guard was successfully distracted by the sound giving Inej some time to slip in between the shadows and enter the room.
You had no choice than to shoot a bullet and now they were all alarmed which would make escaping very difficult.
Your eyes squinted in the darkness as you surveyed the room, hoping no one caught a glimpse of you and praying to whichever Saint there was for Inej to finish her job.
"Come on," you muttered to yourself, your legs shaking with anticipation as it had easily been ten minutes since she had disappeared. "Where the hell are you?"
Just then you spotted some movement going on further to your left and loaded your gun while also keeping one hand on the scabbard tied around your waist. Your footsteps were barely heard as they travelled softly on the wooden floor.
Someone had definitely seen you and were on a hunt, all you could do was make sure to stay hidden perfectly. The darkness was surely an ally but an enemy too.
A loud thud was the only warning you had before someone knocked the air out of your lungs making you skid backwards. You gasped, hands pressed to your chest while taking in deep breaths and moving away from the man, buying yourself time. It didn't feel like your ribs had broken but it hurt nonetheless.
You wracked your brain for a sign of another presence but it was only him. "Viking," you growled in anger after he stepped into the light. "I should've known".
He simply chuckled darkly, "You didn't though. Even Brekker failed. So I think I did my work to perfection, yeah?"
"Who else have you got?"
"No one!" He said, sounding strangely happy and you believed him to be a psychopath. "But the same can't be said for you, am I right?"
But you just shrugged, knowing if you spoke he'd be able to distinguish because of your voice. You should think about asking Kaz to teach you how he managed to always control his tone perfectly. But that would only be possible if you got out of here alive.
Not saying another word you charged, knowing using a gun would prove to be dangerous for you if he snatched it from you. Unfortunately, one of your downfalls was thag you didn't have much of a strong grip. And so you took two knifes and attacked him from both sides.
He took on a few cuts, some going deep and you were scarred too. A small one painted your cheekbone, one on the side of your neck and some on your arms.
You fought for quite a time, both being bloody with sweat dripping off your bodies. It was only when you pretended to hit him from your left and he fell for the basic trick, blocking your attack and in turn giving you easy access to wedge your knife straight into his abdomen. You shot him too for safety measures and double checking.
"Motherfucker," you heaved a sigh, wincing after feeling the burn of the cuts littering you and the stickiness of blood. "Fucking finally!" You exclaimed when your friend came into view, panting slightly and you knew she had gotten into a fight as well.
"Atleast we're matching," she said with a smile and pointed at the similar scars on your forearms.
"Yeah sure," you laughed and quickly moved out, not wanting to personally invite trouble.
The journey back the the Slat was a peaceful one, as it always was with Inej. You talked about Arken's betrayal, the documents she'd found and copied and some amounts of kruge that was just lying on the desk.
"Well despite everything, atleast we got it done," you grimaced slightly and opened the door, immediately walking over to the bar to get yourself a shot atleast. You needed the liquor desperately.
"Oh you're h- Saints!" Wylan sputtered, taking in the bloody sight when you turned. "You're drinking whiskey?!"
"Wy," you said, trying to explain before you faced his wrath. "I needed it".
"Like hell you did," he shook his head and called Nina so urgently that anyone would think you were dying.
"Don't- Wylan-" you cut yourself off after seeing his glare.
"Calm your potions, she's not dying" Nina Zenik said after one glance at your figure lounging in the chair.
"But she's injured!"
"Injury and death don't mean the same thing! And she looks alright to me except for a few cuts. Oh you and Inej have matching tattoos now," she said with a laugh.
"Jesper!" You summoned your gunslinger and he appeared right before you. "Take your man away or I'm going to actually die".
The boy got out of his haze of sering you all bruised and bloodied up before smirking a little and throwing a wink. He took hold of Wylan's arm and dragged his away.
"Matthias get me some bandages would you?" Nina asked as she healed the cuts and Matthias who had finished dressing Inej's arm walked over to you.
"Ouch woman!" You groaned and threw your head back, squeezing your eyes shut.
"It's the size of a paper cut! You don't shout this much when you have a literal bullet in your shoulder".
"They hurt more".
She rolled her eyes though a smile was present on her face as she cleaned the blood from your neck and healed the long cut there.
"Where's Kaz?" You asked, not wanting to admit that you had missed him and wanted to be in his presence.
"He's out somewhere, probably finding another deal," Matthias sighed and bandaged your palm.
After some time you were all healed though the scars were as clear as day. You didn't mind them at all because you were convinced they made you look even more terrifying and beautiful.
"You all okay?" You questioned Inej who was sharpening her collection of knives.
"I always am," she smiled and took your knife to sharpen making you give her a grateful look.
It was now almost past eleven at night and you were sitting on the bed in Kaz's room waiting for him. You wanted to see him, had longed for him after being away for almost an entire day.
And the Saints did answer your plea albeit a while later. You heard the familiar tap of his cane and heavy footsteps as he climbed the staircase and opened the door. His eyes sharp but relaxing upon seeing you.
"Mission went well?" He asked and took off his coat and hat while walking towards you and slumping down on the bed.
"Yes, though Arken's betrayal was a great bit of surprise," you said and sat up, unconsciously putting weight on your elbows and arms in doing so and hissing hissing angrily, clutching your sore muscles.
"What's wrong?" He asked immediately but when you didn't answer, he got up to turn on the lights and saw your scrunched up face.
And one by one he took notice of the bruises that were turning black and blue, bandages being wrapped around your palm and bicep and a thin but prominent scar on your neck. He swallowed the unfamiliar restlessness, fighting the urge to wrap you in his arms and kill the man who had injured you so badly.
"You're hurt," he stated as though you weren't aware of it and closed the distance, sitting as close to you as possible. "You're hurt," he repeated, his eyes flicking from every part of you back to your eyes.
"I was, I'm okay now".
"Who?" He all but spat out, his insides burning with hatred.
"Arken. But I killed him, don't worry".
He eased a little and removed his gloves, cautiously reaching forward to hold your bandaged palm in both of his hands. His breath hitched at the coldness and you made a move to pull away but his grip tightened and he shook his head firmly.
Slowly but surely he relaxed again, feeling comfortable as he unknowingly cradled your hand with such gentleness that you closed your eyes. His fingers traced the edge of the white material, rubbing slow circles.
He suddenly looked up and your breath got caught in your throat at the sheer proximity between you two. You were so close that you could feel the air he heavily exhaled and a faint blush was quick to rise on your cheeks. His dark brown irises staring intently into yours with a flame of possessiveness.
His eyes dipped down to your lips before moving to the scar on your cheekbone and his eyebrows furrowed just a tiny bit. He raised his hand once again, he had only done it once before and the feeling was a huge rival to drowning.
His jaw tightened when the tip of his index finger touched your jaw as softly as a feather. Despite wanting to stay still, you couldn't help it and leaned into his hand, conveying the message that you needed more.
He understood and gritted his teeth, carefully sliding his palm upwards to cup your cheek. His chest expanded as he released the pent up frustration.
This feeling, it was a rival to heaven.
Now that he had touched your skin, he craved more. His thumb softly caressed the scar like it may disappear under his brush. The finger moved at a leisurely pace, soaking in the beautiful feeling for as long as he could hold on.
You couldn't bring yourself to talk after witnessing the tenderness that oozed from his touches and caresses. It was like nothing you had experienced before. The moment felt so precious and for good reason.
You smiled at him, your eyes displaying the immense love that your heart held only for him and also silently thanked him.
He noticed. Of course he did.
And he offered you a gorgeous smile of his own. His lips stretching though not too wide but it was perfect for you and you fell for him yet again.
You found home in his smile and he saw love in your eyes.
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2K notes · View notes
a-asterias · 1 year
Text
— micaela's april recs
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ty to all these amazing writers who have left me with butterflies in my stomach and/or tears rolling down my face, much appreciated <3
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CRIMINAL MINDS
— spencer reid.
soulmates by @radiant-reid
tear me apart by @literaila
private display of affection by @poguesofthebau
that's my wife by @wheelsup
unlucky in love by @criminalmindzjunkie
sinking by @mggpleasedontlookhere
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PANIC
— dodge mason.
cemetery drive by @riffaist
love story by @biqherosix
↳ steal my girl
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HARRY POTTER
— fred weasley.
john wayne by @shadowsinger11
chosen sister by @potter-imagines
how to steal a book (and a heart) by @theweasleysredhair
late night stroll by @httpbakugou
sheer luck by @heloisedaphnebrightmore
frustrations by @nextdoor-neighbors
— george weasley.
broken people by @wondernimbus
— draco malfoy.
two sworn enemies by @wondernimbus
odd one out by @panda-noosh
— oliver wood.
c'est magnifique by @wondernimbus
— charlie weasley.
a brief glimpse by @helnjk
MARAUDERS
— remus lupin.
singed memories by @lupinlongbottom
just go with it by @fizzyhosh
— sirius black.
just a natural fact by @iliveiloveiwrite
agree to disagree by @lupinlongbottom
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LOCKWOOD AND CO.
— anthony lockwood.
you can hear it in the silence by @tangledinlove
↳ it's never too late (to come back to my side)
↳ just another love song
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STRANGER THINGS
— steve harrington.
got caught up by @hairringtonsteve
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HEROES OF OLYMPUS
— leo valdez.
why me? by @chasingpj
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MARVEL
— bucky barnes.
first date, last night by @intrepidacious
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AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER
— zuko.
best kind of medicine by @panda-noosh
↳ fools gold
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BRIDGERTON
— anthony bridgerton.
sham and pain by @peeterparkr
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GRISHAVERSE
— kaz brekker.
heartless by @magpiencrow
↳ for you
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3K notes · View notes
meadowscarlet · 1 year
Text
inflicted desire ━━━ kaz brekker.
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pairings: kaz brekker x fem!reader.
summary: you were simply a crow and nina's closest friend, but kaz doesn't understand why he feels the need to be near you or protect you when you can protect yourself; he is closed off and unreadable, and he couldn't articulate his feelings properly, until you were hurt on the job.
warnings: the normal six of crows shenanigans.
author’s note: a reposted fic. do not copy, post on another site, translate or claim any of my works as your own or you will be reported! nav.
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Kaz Brekker did not make mistakes. He was a thief, not a fool, the Dregs' leader, and Ketterdam's most notorious man. He had a sharp intellect and was astute; no one ventured to cross him out of fear, or they were rational enough not to.
His plans were meticulous, and if something went wrong (which was unlikely), he had hundreds of backup plans ready to go. And everything went well, but there was a glimmer of realization that Kaz had made the biggest mistake of his life. It was bothering him, and he had a nagging feeling of uneasiness.
If he had merely noted when he met you—charming and intriguing—when he visited the House of the White Rose to inform Nina about a job; he should have simply ignored you when you passed him in the hall without a second glance, but Kaz had been effectively intrigued.
Nina told him that you were her closest friend and the one person in the White Rose who kept her sane. Nina was cautious, with a guarded gleam in her eyes and a reluctance that could get you killed in Ketterdam, when Kaz inquired whether you had any skills.
Nina had given Kaz a sharp gaze and said, “Recruiting her in the Dregs is dangerous.”
“Nina dear,” Kaz drawled. “It's dangerous everywhere in Ketterdam. And I think your friend would appreciate getting out of here every now and then.”
Nina told Kaz about your bewitching qualities with a little more trepidation. You were charismatic, a pretty face and a cunning smile that could tempt wealthy merchants to give you kruge and a wise convincer. Nina also mentioned that you had good combat skills. Kaz Brekker had smirked at the time, his thoughts racing. He was well aware that he needed you on his team.
That was his very first mistake. You were good at your work—you did a brilliant job and Kaz knew you were a terrific addition to the Dregs—but as the days passed, he began to have an underlying feeling inside him that he quickly dismissed whenever you were there. Kaz often wondered if he should have heeded Nina's advice about not recruiting you in the Dregs, but he'd been blinded by his curiosity, and he bitterly regretted it.
He recalled one mission in which they were meant to spy on a handful of Pekka Rollins' men. Kaz remembered how meticulously he had prepared for this; he had gone over blueprints over and again until his eyes were weary, but he would not rest—never. Kaz was scrupulous with his plotting especially since it involved Pekka Rollins.
When there's a lovely girl around and they're inebriated, men are simple to seduce. So, of course, your main task was to play the inquisitive girl, allowing men to reveal their drunken secrets while you sat, looking pretty. Despite the fact that you were skilled in this vicinity, Kaz didn't like the plan, but he needed Inej on the roofs and Nina by the door, so you were left as an option.
As he saw you woo one of Rollins guys, he felt a prickling sensation inside him. You were dressed in a velvety white dress that accentuated your contours; you stood out in the darkness of Ketterdam, and you shone brightly. Kaz may not believe in Saints, but he was convinced you were one by the radiance of your smile and dress.
He despised seeing you sitting on a drunk Dime Lion man's lap, and Kaz noticed you looked uneasy, so he fought the impulse to smash the man's head with his cane until his skull cracked satisfyingly. He reminded himself that this was a job, and he needed to do his part. Despite your unsettled expression, he could see your ears perk up, and that's when Kaz recognized the man had begun to speak.
Kaz watched you giggling and touching the man's forearm while drinking your drink; you were playing your part wonderfully as usual. And it all happened very quickly; when the drunken man leaned close to you, another man approached him to stop him, and Kaz realized the man knew who you were.
The man had said something to the inebriated man, and the latter had suddenly sobered up, and Kaz realized chaos had occurred. Because of the drink you drank, you appeared tipsy, but Kaz could see how your eyes flared in terror and your gaze immediately darted to him.
Kaz had set out on foot to get you, but Nina had beaten him to it. Nina had grasped your wrist and pulled you away in alarm before the man could grab you. Shots were being fired, and Kaz could see Jesper rousing his revolters to fire back at the men who were shooting at you and now at Jesper.
Kaz was so concentrated on the men and the bullets that he missed you limping in Nina's arms as he pulled his own gun. Nina wore a worried expression on her face and was essentially bearing half your weight. And Kaz could see it: there was blood on your abdomen that was obvious and evident through the white of your dress. As Kaz focused on you, gunshots faded into the background, and he was startled out of his reverie when Jesper told them to leave.
He didn't normally listen to Jesper because he was the one who gave the directions and commands, but now his feet followed Jesper's, his leg jerking in pain as he hobbled, yet his step was swift. He remembered the blood on your adobem, the way Nina's eyes widened, and he was filled with dread. It was terrifying. Since Jordie, he hasn't felt like this in years.
Kaz knew Inej was close behind him, quiet and concealed like the Wraith she is, as his Crows hurried to the Slat. As you limped beside Nina, Kaz could see you being held by her, and he turned to Jesper, a sensation inside him that he didn't want to convey.
“Run after Nina," Kaz rasped coldly. “Help her with Y/N.”
Jesper didn't need to say anything else as he ran to Nina, and when he caught up with both girls, he grabbed your waist and helped half of your weight as Nina and Jesper carried you to the Slat. Kaz despised hearing a hint of fragility in his voice, but Jesper didn't seem to mind.
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It didn't matter to Kaz if Nina could hear his rapid heartbeat. Kaz saw that the others were watching him as his eyes swept you laying on your bed with Nina mending your wound. Even though your face was pale and your breathing was unsteady, you were alive, Kaz was not soothed. Despite her concerns, Nina had been firm, requesting medical equipment from Matthias, who had followed orders.
Kaz isn't concerned about the Rollins information right now; all he wants is for you to be alright. He remembered your eyes widening in panic and searching for his first. He swallowed a lump in his throat and shook his head, focusing on you instead. And there was so much blood, Kaz gripped his cane tightly in his fist.
“Heal her,” he murmured.
Nina gave him a cold stare. “I'm trying, Kaz, but there's just too much blood.”
“I don't care,” Kaz said icily, his gaze matching hers. “Zenik, heal her.”
Inej had left, but not before praying to her Saints for you to be well. Jesper walked away as well, noticing the gloom in Kaz's voice and Nina's gaze. Matthias was retrieving more medical supplies, creating a tense atmosphere with only a feverish Kaz, an anxious but indignant Nina, and an alive yet barely Y/ N.
“You should leave, l'll get to you once l'm done,” Nina remarked as she resumed working in your wounded abdomen.
Kaz stood firm in his position. “I'm not going anywhere.”
With a shake of her head, Nina replied, “Your heartbeat is distracting me.” Kaz noticed her hand quivering. “I can sense your nerves, Brekker, and it doesn't help that l'm worried about her as well.”
He was terrified; he had shown vulnerability, and Nina had noticed. She knew he cared about you, and he had never experienced anything like it with anybody else. When Inej was stabbed, Jesper was shot, or Matthias, Wylan, and Nina were hurt, Kaz's heart didn't rush as rapidly. It was always you who made his heart race with nerves and a need to protect you if you were harmed.
When Kaz glanced at your hand, palm up, he felt compelled to grasp it. Not Jesper, who had brought you to the Slat, or even Nina, who stroked your hair away from your face every now and then, but he should be the one holding you and aiding you. But Kaz knew that idea alone was impossible; he couldn't think about it without shivering with distaste, so he stayed, a safe distance away, with a tremendous desire to hold you.
Nina fixed her gaze on him. “I assume she'll be a little hazy when she wakes up, so don't ask her any questions about the information.”
“I don't give a damn about the information,” Kaz remarked indifferently.
Kaz despised the mischievous glimmer in her eyes as she shot him a shocked glance. “Kaz Brekker not caring about the information that's about Pekka Rollins? Somebody pinch me.”
He gave her a skeptical look as he rolled his eyes. “Keep her alive by doing your work, Nina dear.”
Nina shrugged her shoulders, but her eyes were gloomy. “She's not dead, Kaz,” she said with a shake of her head. “Since the blood loss, she'll be unconscious, but she'll be fine—she usually is.”
Kaz nodded in agreement. What Nina said was right; it was not uncommon for someone in the Crows to be hurt—it happens all the time, especially during heists and jobs—but the jobs were mostly successful, and Kaz had been blunt in assigning you the safest task (charming people) because a selfish part of him wanted you to be in the middle of the job so he could keep an eye on you.
But, despite his composed demeanor, he seemed to crumble everywhere around you. Perhaps you had charmed him, as you had charmed so many others, by bewitching him with your entire being, causing his black heart to seek you out. When you were around, there was always an inflicted desire within Kaz, which he had always disregarded until now.
Kaz wanted to kill the man who had touched you, as well as track down the person who had shot you. He remembered your bright eyes dampening in fear and a brief tremor of despair as you realized you'd been caught, then blood splattering across your white dress and Nina's worried expression as she carried your limping weight.
Nina snarled, “You're doing it again.”
With his dark eyes, Kaz looked at her. “What?”
“I know you love her and all, but I need to focus, and your heartbeat is incredibly distracting right now,” Nina rambled.
Kaz stilled as he heard the word he didn't want to associate himself with. “In Ketterdam, love is neglected; it is reserved for the weak.”
Nina surprised him by laughing. “What are you doing right now? Whenever Y/N is hurt, you appear weak—you're in your vulnerable form.”
Kaz wanted to kill Nina by saying things he knew were true, but he was ignorant and stubborn to accept it. Nina gave him a knowing look as she cleaned, healed, and wrapped a cloth around your wound before kissing you on the forehead and leaving Kaz alone with you.
Kaz strolled over to where you were laying after a few moments of contemplation. He examined your flawless face, which, despite seeming pale and near death, was nonetheless lovely. Kaz paused for a while before raising his gloved palm to your cheek and tucking the errant strand of hair away.
He sat down near your bed, putting his disgust aside. Despite the strong temptation, he did not grasp your inviting hand. Kaz had stayed by your bedside the entire night, never leaving your side. Nina had stopped by every now and then to change your bandage, but she had said nothing about Kaz's overstaying or even asked him to leave.
When Nina was treating your wound, she had said, “You should rest, Kaz.”
Kaz gave her a sidelong glance. “Don't tell me what to do.”
Nina may have been right, but she was also wrong. Kaz did not believe he was capable of love, yet he had a great desire to be with you. To be in your company, to receive your gorgeous smile, and to simply be in your presence. And this time he wasn't going to ignore it.
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