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amazingmaeve · 3 years

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I’m so sorry - Hermione granger

Harry Potter Masterlist

Summary: Y/N Malfoy twin sister to Draco Malfoy and daughter of Narcissa Malfoy and Lucius Malfoy. Y/N and Hermione are in love but she had to break up with Hermione to protect her from Voldemort. Now she finally stands up while she’s being torture by her aunt.

Pairing: Hermione Granger x FemaleMalfoy!reader

Warnings: Torture, Angst, Spoiler

AN: I just had this idea and wanted to writes before I forgot it.

Word Count: 1588

Y/N Malfoy was thought to be as cruel as her family. That's what everyone thinks and thought. She didn't really bully anyone but had something against mudbloods since her parents said they were bad.

When Y/N met Hermione Granger she was quite rude. Y/N was taught to not be nice to Mudbloods and she knew Hermione Granger was one.

One night on the Astronomy tower Y/N ran into Hermione Granger. It was their fifth year and Y/N was sad she's always been sad.

Her parents mostly Lucius had always chastise her for being to soft. That she should be more like Draco. That made her angry and sad.

Y/N was sad because no matter what she did it would never please her parents.

Y/N was also angry at herself for not being more like Draco. Less emotional. Even though she was a Slytherin Y/N had cared more. She always felt bad when she said mean things. Or when Draco did it. Y/N just wished she could be more strong.

"Oh it's you," Y/N snapped out of her face to see Hermione standing there. Y/N was quick to wipe the tears away. "Wait are you crying," Hermione questions Y/N could almost sense some concern.

"Go head make fun of me Granger," Y/N sniffles drying her eyes making them more red.

"Unlike I don't make fun of people," Hermione states going sit next to Y/N. "Are you okay," She asks putting her books down.

"Obviously not," Y/N not putting her head in her hands trying to make her head ache go away.

"Sorry stupid question," Hermione cringes. "So you want to talk about it I'm a good listener," She gives her a half of a smile.

Y/N sighs she's never really had anyone to talk to so it's weird to her.

"Well first my parents think I'm to emotional and should be like my twin. And second of all I think I should be less emotional," Y/N lets out a few tears. "See I'm too emotional," She lets out a chuckle.

"It's okay to be emotional," Hermione corrects her starting to feel bad for her. Y/N had barely talked to Hermione only when she had introduced herself.

Y/N had wanted to apologize but didn't want her parents to hate her even more.

“Why are you being so nice to me I've been nothing but rude to you," Y/N questions feeling her heart race and butterflies in her stomach.

"I believe you are a good person just brought up with a bad influence," Hermione smiles at her and puts her hand on hers Y/N smiles back.

From that day on Y/N and Hermione always met at the astronomy tower. She always set her smiles when no one was looking.

Y/N could feel herself falling for the smart and beautiful girl.

Then one night as they were talking and laughing about her days, then Hermione kissed her on the lips.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean-," Hermione was about to apologize when Y/N had brought her hand to Hermiones cheek and kissed her again.

She moved her lips along with hers. When they broke away Y/N let out a nervous chuckle putting her hand on her.

From then on Y/N and Hermione would sneak around with giggles and kisses.

Whenever Y/N needed a shoulder to cry on Hermione would always be there for her reassuring that it was ok to be different.

And when Hermione needed to talk about fights with Ron and Harry Y/N would be there for each other.

It's been about a year that this has been going and they're almost done with their sixth year. Y/N had just found out that Professor Snape had killed professed Dumbledore.

Y/N then figured out her brother had the mark. And that's when it clicked why he had been distant. Y/N and Draco were somewhat close but they drifted when she got with Hermione.

Y/N was scared that her brother found out and told her mom. But it wouldn't be as bad as if her dad had known. But Hermione reassured her that nothing was wrong and oh how wrong Hermione was.

And know she had to break up with Hermione because her mother found out through Draco. Y/N was so scared that they would hurt Hermione she had to break up with her.

"Y/N what's wrong I was worried about when I couldn't find you," Hermione rushes over to Y/N worried that she had gotten hurt.

"I'm sorry," Y/N sobs.

"Why what's wrong love," Hermione asks brushing the tears away with her thumbs as her hands wrapped around her cheeks.

"We can't be together anymore," Y/N whispers.

"What why," Hermione asks confusion spreads on her cheek.

"My family found out," Y/N's lips tremble as tears cascade down her cheeks feeling heartbreak.

"Oh," Hermione lets out a breath.

"It's better you don't be with me I don't want you to get hurt," Y/N's body's tremble as she sobs. "I'm sorry please don't hate me," Y/N whimpers.

"Shh love I don't hate you," Hermione shushes her. "We will meet again and I know we'll end up together," Hermione lets some tears fall. She leans forward and kisses her one last time before leaving.

Y/N sadly smiles at Hermione leaves as tears keep on falling and falling.

And finally here we are at the Malfoy Manor with Draco and Y/N by their parents sides.

Her eyes widen as the Golden Trio was dragged into the room. Y/N felt her heart stop and her body coming to a halt.

"Oh my god," Y/N whispers.

She blocks out everything even when her aunt goes on a rant about a sword one of the guys have.

Of course her aunt almost murders the guys wanting to get the sword.

Draco drags Y/N out as her aunt mutters something about girl talk with Hermione and dragged the two boys down to the dungeon.

Hermiones scream snap her out of her daze. She felt her stomach twirl with anxiety and anger. The anger driven towards her aunt.

When Draco is looking away Y/N runs away to go to the room where her aunt is torturing Hermione.

"Stop," Y/N screams as she grabs her wand and points it at Bellatrix. Her eyes were burning with rage.

Bellatrix's eyes snap up to her nieces.

"And what are you going to do about my dearest niece," Bellatrix smirks knowing that Y/N was to weak to do anything.

"Stupefy," Y/N shout pointed her wand at Bellatrix who goes flying

As she gets flown across the room she runs across the room to Hermione where tears are rolling down her cheeks.

She helps Hermione stand up and pulls her behind so that her crazy aunt doesn't do anything.

"Don't even think about doing anything," Y/N snaps at her aunt who got up pretty fast who puts up her wand with a smirk on her face.

"Or what," Bellatrix cackles.

As she was about to speak her parents enter the room with Draco by her side.

"Y/N don't do anything stupid," Lucius snaps at his daughter who has had enough of her family.

"No I've had enough of this, from you, my family who's supposed to support me," Y/N snaps as tears roll down her cheek.

"Y/N sweetheart calm down," Narcissa softly told her daughter not wanting thing to go out of hand.

Y/N scoffs a little but was interrupted again when Harry and Ron entered the room and started casting spells to get Hermione out.

But what she didn't feel her aunt grab Hermione from behind her.

"STOP,"Bellatrix yells Y/N turns around to see her want and against Hermiones chin. Tears come down Hermione's cheeks.

Bellatrix goes on a rant and as Y/N pulls out her want the chandelier cascades down on Bellatrix.

Y/N runs to Hermione to make sure she’s.

“Minoe you ok,” Y/N softly asks as she grabs her hands.

As Hermione was about to speak but was interrupted by Ron.

“Hermione come let’s go,” Ron rushes.

“I’m not leaving without her,” Hermione says grabbing her hand pulling her along.

She sees the disappointed look on her families face as they all stand together and Y/N hands intertwines with Hermiones’. Hermione squeezes Y/N hand reassuring her.

Dobby the house elf that used to work for her family makes a huge speak which she smiles at. Y/N was one of the only Malfoy’s that cared about him.

They finally do the Apparition to make them leave the manor but not before Bellatrix throws a knife going with them.

They reappear somewhere else as Hermione clings on to Y/N.

“Thanks god you’re ok,” Y/N whispers as she kissed Hermione. She kisses back wrapping her arm around Y/N’s waist.

After they break apart she notices that Dobby has a knife in his stomach.

“No,” Y/N whispers as Dobby stumbles into Harry’s arm. Harry wants to do something Y/N sees but knows there’s nothing that can happen.

Y/N lets more tears fall as Dobby takes his last breath. Hermione hugs her as she cries on her shoulder.

She got out of her families house but ended in a tragedy.

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crazedtmnt · 4 years

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Misshapen

Turtles X Autistic F!Reader

Hello! So, this is something I’ve been working on for a while. Fun fact about me, but I’m actually autistic. I didn’t find out until I was in college, though, since my mom was terrified to find out the truth (she’s much better about it now). As such, this caused me a lot of trouble growing up. I was constantly missing signals and making people mad without realizing. And I had no way of knowing what was wrong with me.

So I wrote a little self-indulgent thing about that! It was kind of an experiment, so it came out more abstract than I was expecting. I hope that’s okay. I focused mostly on the hyper-fixations, since that caused me the most problems, but I tried to get more in there. It’s a little hard to describe everything. Hope you enjoy!

[y/n] = Your name

~~~~~~~

“No.”

We tuck our hearts behind logic and manners, but every now and again someone’s pokes out, showing the world their true feelings. At the sight of one, we smile and laugh. Its appearance indicates further understanding between us—a bond of trust. Some wear their hearts more readily, while others keep it under lock and key, even as their logic falls apart. But whether a heart is social or shy, one thing remains constant: the more we view each other’s hearts, the more we learn.

“No, no one understands what you’re saying.”

But sometimes a heart is misshapen. Not due to cruelty or malice, but due to life. Not every heart can be made the same. Everyone has cuts or lumps along their veins, but some are born with entirely new designs, foreign and strange to the average person. The sight of these hearts confuses and even angers others.

“I’m sorry. I was just—”

“You were just being annoying! Can’t you read the room?!”

Even if their appearance marks a display of love, trust, or wonder, the twisted form screams a meaning unheard by its owner. The misshapen heart will parade this misinformation happily, unaware of the contempt boiling beneath the surface. That is, until the earth cracks open and reveals what all other hearts could already see.

“I-I… I didn’t mean to…”

“Of course you didn’t. You never think of anyone but yourself. You’re always babbling on about whatever you’re into and never stop to consider others. Do you know how exhausting that is?”

“I’m sorry, I… I’m sorry…”

A misshapen heart can stare itself in the mirror all day long, but even if it realizes that its design is unusual, it cannot change what it already is. The bumps and cuts are familiar—comforting—and the heart itself works just fine. Whatever could be wrong with it? The misunderstanding it keeps exclaiming is just that: a misunderstanding. Its true feelings should be easily heard. It can hope that other hearts hear the truth behind the oddities, but if not…

“God! All you do is apologize! You never actually try to be better! Do you seriously think we enjoy listening to you talk about the same two things every single day? You never even let us get a word in! How would you feel if we ignored your interests to only talk about our own?”

“…”

“What? You won’t even look at us anymore? …Oh God, now you’re crying. You’re such a pain. Learn some social skills and maybe realize that you aren’t the center of the universe. Other people want to talk too.”

“…”

“Stop crying! You just… Ugh! Nevermind. Come on. Let’s leave her to feel sorry for herself.”

A misshapen heart can break just the same as any other.

~~~~~~~

[Y/n] could barely see her friends leaving through the torrent of tears cascading down her face. She couldn’t even stand straight. Under the weight of her shame, guilt, and confusion she was practically doubled over. And once the slam of a door pierced her ear, echoing its hatred through her very soul, she completely broke down.

Sobs wrenched through her body, her chest heaving as she barely managed to hold back full-blown wails. As crying overtook all other functions, [y/n] collapsed on the ground, her hands thrown out to prop her up. All she could do was watch as teardrops fell to the ground at a growing rate and feel a burning sorrow choke her lungs.

“What is wrong with me? What is wrong with me?!” she screamed into the void, knowing no one was listening—nor did anyone care to listen. After all, she was an annoying little child whose passions drove away the few people who could stand her. She should know exactly what’s wrong with her… right?

“What is…? What is…?” [y/n] hiccupped, her squinting eyes forcing out more tears so that maybe reality would slip away. If even the floor was blurred, she could imagine she was home in her bed. She could escape to a familiar place where routine was king.

Escape… Escape… Pretend the world worked in a way that made sense. Pretend that every sentence that fell from a stranger’s lips had an obvious tone—no one hid their feelings behind passive aggressive words that slipped her notice. Pretend that background noises didn’t drown out everything else until all that’s left is a sense of anxiety and the realization that she couldn’t breathe. Pretend that she could laugh at jokes thrown at her instead of wondering later if it was even a joke.

Pretend the world’s normal… Not her normal that was weird, boring, or disruptive. No matter how she bent it, it never matched everyone else’s that they fought tooth and nail for. It had to be the normal that suffocated her with expectations she could never hope to meet, since the starting line was nowhere in sight. Her normal was wrong.

…But in the end, it was all she knew.

“What did I… do wrong?”

“Nothing.”

[Y/n] gasped, feeling a warm hand sliding up and down her back. She was still doubled over, but another shadow combined with hers. How long had it been there?

The soothing voice spoke again. “You’re absolutely perfect. It’s not your fault.”

[Y/n] tightened her hands into fists. It was so comforting to hear that… Too comforting.

“No. I… I made them mad…” She wiped her eyes and tried to stand up—tried to escape the calming presence before she forgot her place. She was a broken human who deserved to be hurt. Obviously, she wasn’t working hard enough to be a better person. “I act like a child… and… and ignore… ignore everyone around me.”

The tears had slowed, but it was impossible to catch her breath. Hell, the lump in her throat made her more likely to choke than speak. So she needed to leave before her selfishness made her accept his comfort.

Her love. Her turtle hero. [Y/n] couldn’t let him indulge her any further.

But those strong hands were persistent. In one smooth motion, he had wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap. Once seated on the floor with him, all desire to flee left. [Y/n] merely gave in, though her gaze was fixated on the floor.

He hummed in somber amusement, the rumble of his chest almost tickling her. It was hard to believe this was the same [y/n] he had fallen in love with. She was so passionate about whatever caught her interest. It was his favorite thing to watch the sparkles in her eyes as she talked for hours over her obsessions. Now, she lay against him like a hollow doll, ready to obey whatever order her owner gave her.

Gently, he wiped her tear tracks with his thumb. “Love, I saw everything. You were just excited to talk to them. They could have stopped you and explained what was wrong, but they chose to get mad at you. It wasn’t your fault.”

“But I… But I should have tried to… be better. Be nicer and more considerate. I’m such a terrible—”

“No,” he cut in firmly, his grip around her tightening. “Don’t you dare say anything bad about yourself. You’re wonderful. My angel and my love. If they don’t appreciate you, then they don’t deserve you.”

He used his finger to gently push up [y/n]’s chin, guiding her gaze towards his. For a few seconds, [y/n] tensed and closed her eyes. That was the hardest thing in the world: looking someone in the eye. She didn’t deserve his comfort, much less his love. How could she ever meet his eyes?

“[Y/n], look at me.”

His breath caressed her cheek while his hands rubbed her face softly. It was so warm… So familiar and safe. [Y/n] gave in and opened her eyes.

Her gaze was met with calm kindness. It didn’t matter how excited or anxious she got. He always looked at her like she was a princess. His princess. Despite the circumstances, his smile was beautiful, lighting a fire within her heart. Suddenly, [y/n] felt a weight lift from her chest. He was here and he still loved her. He had seen her at her worst and yet he never showed any hint of regret. Instead, he made allowances. It didn’t matter what he was doing—if [y/n] called him in a fit of anxiety, he was there in minutes. He even altered his routine when she was around to better match hers. The stubborn, no-nonsense leader changed his routine out of love for her… And here Leo was right now: smiling that handsome smile, whispering sweet words into her ear, and gently rubbing circles into her back. In spite of all her supposed flaws, he wasn’t going anywhere. On the contrary, he loved every minute he spent with her. She was a blessing and he would do anything to listen to her pour her heart out. In those moments, he could forget all the bad in the world and stare into his love’s eyes.

The first thing she noticed was the solemn expression of understanding. He got it. He also had issues with driving people away. However, that was because of his temper, not unrestrained passion. If anything, his issue was much worse because, while he always regretted it, he purposefully drove people away. [Y/n] was only doing it on accident. She meant no harm. And yet she still chose him, the hothead, to love. With all the words in the world, he couldn’t explain how much that meant to him. So screw those other people. If they couldn’t see how wonderful [y/n] was, then they didn’t deserve to know her. He would keep her all to himself anyway, if he could. She deserved the world, but if she couldn’t have that then she would get all the love he could give. As Raph pulled her closer, inhaling her sweet scent, a wave of relief fell over [y/n]. No matter what, she had her strong protector right beside her. He didn’t care if she rambled on about nonsense; having her care enough to stay by his side meant the world to him. To both of them.

It wasn’t hard to tell what he was thinking with that big grin. Every day, if he didn’t get to hear her lovely voice rant on about whatever, it was a failed day. He loved it, every minute of it. She had the most beautiful mind and could see things from angles others never even knew existed. To society, the world was a 2D image on a piece of paper—simple, clean, and always the same no matter the view point. But to her, the world was 3D and bursting with possibilities. Each day, she viewed it at a new angle, discovering a new story or truth. And each day, she came to him with a surplus of ideas bursting out of her very being. [Y/n] was his muse, his light, and most importantly the love of his life. She needed moderation sometimes, but so did he. That didn’t make her a bad person. [Y/n] was overflowing with passion and potential, if only the right people encouraged her. So that’s exactly what Donnie would do. He gently kissed her forehead, reminding her that her “strange” mind was his favorite thing.

Love. Just endless love. It was all she could see on his face—that warm smile and those bright eyes holding all the love in the world. It was like he was radiating sunshine. Suddenly, the weight on her heart seemed to dissolve. He looked at [y/n] like she was the most beautiful thing in the world. A goddess that owned his heart and all he could give her. If there was ever a moment when he got annoyed at her rambling, he couldn’t remember it. He could only remember all the late nights of them snuggled together, enthusiastically whispering to each other about everything under the sun until Splinter showed up to shush them. Mikey leaned his forehead against hers, brushing some hair behind her ears. Watching [y/n] get excited and analyze her newest obsession was always the highlight of his day. He got to see her gorgeous smile and how her eyes sparkled with delight. In those moments, nothing stood in her way. She shined like a star and graced him, a mutant turtle, with her light. What more could he want?

It was almost too much. Tears filled [y/n]’s eyes again, but for a completely different reason than before. Her heart clenched with love… and the hope that maybe she wasn’t a broken person after all. If her turtle could look at her in such a way, without a hint of regret, then…

“I’ll always be here for you,” he whispered in her ear. Slowly, his lips brushed passed her cheek, settling on her lips. It was a short kiss, but one filled with promises she knew he’d keep. “…I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Then maybe her misshapen heart had found its match.

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peakatseven · 3 years

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MICHAAAA CONGRATULATIONS

🌕 broke a finger knocking on your bedroom door I got splinters in my knuckles crawling across the floor

andddd

🎸 haunted

this bitch really came for me asking for a story AND a cover of such a hard song to sing. okay thanks i guess.

nah im just kidding babe i had so much fun writing this! i feel like it’s the first time in years that i’m posting proper fanfiction? kind of? idk i was trying to find another name for the mc but i kept picturing frat boy harry so here we go:

Concentration is impossible when the silence is loud and the work is important. The worst part is when one starts thinking about the need of being concentrated, rather than the actual work that needs to be done. As a university student, Harry was no different than most: his anxiety about school and his future co-existed with the emotional backlash of relationships and the need to "experience the best years of your life". There were few people with whom he wouldn't worry about meeting some kind of expectation. But she had been silent with him for the better part of a year. Images of Caro kept coming back to him, a trauma he couldn't let go off. Granted, it was the one painful brake up he'd experienced, one that was never truly over. Even now, uncountable names in between him and her, he still couldn't get her blue eyes off of his mind. The thought of her porcelain skin over his sun-kissed body came to him every single one of his one-night-stands. And at that moment, sitting on his desk, trying to get his homework done, the memory of her laughter drowned every sentence he tried to compose. He forced everything out with a loud grunt, grabbing his head with both hands and pulling on his hair. "The results show that 73.3% of patients responded positively to the treatment." He voiced out loud, trying to silence Caro's laughter in his mind. "No, that's bullshit." After a few moments staring at the cursor beeping at the end of his last sentence, he finally shut the laptop down. On an impulse, he unlocked his phone and opened a conversation from three days prior. He should've answered it when he got the text, but he wasn't in the mood at the time. "Hey, babe, wanna go for a beer rn?" He wasn't even done changing when the phone buzzed on the table. Two happy emojis popped up, and then a "Meet you there in 10". He kept the speed up as he rode off campus, through a park and then into the city. He was glad for the chill air against his face, numbing it to the point where it was the only thing he was able to think about. Finally some peace of mind. It wasn't dark yet when he got to the bar, but the sun had already set behind the buildings. There was one single tree, barely taller than him but strong enough to hold his bike. As he secured it, a red leaf fell to his knee. It was autumn when he got to kiss Caro for the first time, and it was also autumn when he kissed her last. "Nope. Something else, think of something else." he thought to himself. Incapable of coming up with anything, he brought out a cigarette and inhaled deeply. Somewhere inside him, there was a bit of guilt about what he was trying to do. But it'd been so long since he started that it no longer bothered him. His new game was called Darren. The younger guy looked like a model, straight silver hair and pale skin that Harry couldn't wait to leave marks on. All he could think about when Darren was around was the things he wanted to do to him. It was purely sensual, and that was pretty clear from the start. Or at least that's what he told himself. That Darren was on the same page as him- no strings attached, just fun and games. But the way his phone had been buzzing ever since he got on the bike, there was clearly more interest from one side. But instead of doing the right thing, and not stringing him along, Harry was about to sleep with him again and leave with a lame excuse to not spend the night. And then it was back to emotionless texts, conversations on the verge of ghosting him just in case he'd be in the mood again. But it was okay, Darren was playing the same game. He had the same dynamic with a lot of people lately. None knew of each other. They didn't have to, and they didn't ask either. He was no monster, though. Harry would tell that to himself constantly. That because no one had explicitly asked for exclusivity, it was implied they weren't obliged to it. The only one who did, what was her name again? Odella... no, that's not right... Ornella, maybe? He laughed dryly at himself. He'd become one of those guys that didn't even remember the names of all of his

partners. But he was no dougebag, when Ornella asked to be exclusive, he straight up told her no and then never bothered her again. They weren't on the same page anymore, so no more games. He wondered if that would ever happen with Darren too. There was not much time to think about this, because he was soon greeting the guy with a half hug and a gentle kiss just beside his lips. "You smell nice." Darren said, hands in his pockets and scarf almost over his mouth. "You just like the smell of tabacco." Harry smirked and put the unfinished cigarette down. "Let's get in, you're freezing." The night went exactly how Harry planned it. All his jokes were welcomed by Darren, and he let the young boy win at pull- he was cute when he bragged about his skills. But the best feeling was whenever Harry would approach Darren. A stroke of the lower back, a smirk from the other side of the table, a kiss when no one was near... Darren accepted any and everything Harry was willing to give him. The power high that it gave him to have someone be so devoted to him was indescribable. But the night was fully set and he was growing impatient. "Let's get out of here." He whispered to Darren's ear right before his turn. Darren had already started pulling Harry's bike for him when the phone on his pocket buzzed again. Harry walked alongside his date, though his eyes were on his phone. He had a lost call that he hadn't noticed while inside. The number wasn't saved to his phone anymore, but he hadn't managed to erase it from his own memory yet. "Oh, shit." He whispered. "I... Sorry, man, I have to go. There's a- um, it's a family thing." Harry was on his bike before his date could answer. He didn't even look at Darren's eyes before leaving. There was a sting of guilt building up, and maybe he'd feel disgusted by himself if it wasn't for the sheer adrenaline running through his veins. Maybe the alcohol had a bit to do with it too. This had only happened a few times before, and the outcome was always the same. Still, Harry couldn't keep himself from falling to his knees when it came to her. As he rode his bike as fast as he could go, a cynical smile crept on his lips. How ironic. Darren was probably feeling the same way about Harry just a few hours prior. Whenever Caro was in town, she stayed at her best friend's apartment- all the way on the other side of the city. So it was past midnight already when he got to the building. There was a party on the roof, maybe they could sneak in for more drinks. She had some catching up to do, as Harry was already tipsy. Still, he didn't have to check the phone to know which floor to go to and which door to knock. Just like everything else about Caro, he had it indefinitely memorized. 409, the doorknocker was a silver seagull. A very heavy, silver seagull. At first, Harry didn't feel it when his finger got caught in between the door and the seagull, but by the third time he knocked, it started changing colour. "Hm." He said to himself as he examined the swollen-red finger. He put it in his mouth and kept on knocking to the beat of the music coming from above. Why did they have the music so loud? Harry could barely hear his own thoughts, so the neighbours had to be furious about this noise. Carolina was probably waiting for Harry, who was already late due to how far he was when she texted him. "Fuck!" He said, taking his phone out of his pocket again. He hadn't answered. Dumb ass. "im herre" He sent the text before reading the ones Caro had sent before. One was a laughing emoji and the other was a voice note. There were people laughing on the background, and someone turned the music down a bit for Caro to speak into her phone. "I'm so sorry, ignore that, it was a dare." She half said, half laughed. Harry didn't understand, so he played it again. Again. Again. And again one more time. Was she talking about the lost call? or was it about her being in town? Had he really fallen for such a stupid trap? Harry fell to the floor, phone glued to his ear as the voice note played over and over again. His chest was about to

explode, face red and throat dry. He knocked on the door again, now with his fist. The inevitable tear fell down his cheek, though it was impossible to know if it was sadness or anger that caused it. "Oh, god." Someone said behind him. But when he turned around, the stairs were empty and someone on hills was running up the stairs. He got up and ran after them, but he was too intoxicated to keep up. He fell halfway up the stairs, having to crawl for a few steps before getting up. On the rooftop, there were too many people in heels to know which one had seen him. "Great." He sight. Might as well look around. He walked around the place, inhaling the cold air of the night and trying to calm down, make sense of what had just happened. He was about to light up his last cigarette when someone took it from him. She had long purple nails and her skin glowed under the moonlight. She smirked as the cigarette reached her mouth. He lit it up for her. "I didn't think you'd actually come." She said. Her smirk turned into a sincere smile. "You told me to." "Yes, but I also said you should ignore that." "Well I didn't." He took the cigarette from her fingers and smoked himself before speaking again. "Should I go?" He wanted to seem as cool with the situation as she appeared to be, hide the fact that he had just been played like a puppet for a fucking drinking game dare. "What happened to you finger?" She shouted, stepping closer to him. "I- I don't remember." Harry lied. There was still a bit of dignity to be salvaged. And there it was, but this time it was real. Her laugh, once again, drowned every thought on his mind. There was no music and no people around them anymore, it was just him and her, together again, laughing in the middle of the night. "You know I meant to call you, right?" Caro said, a hand tenderly rubbing his arm. She knew exactly what she was doing, and he knew it too. "I'm sure you did." He said. "I did!" She pushed him a little, both cracking a knowing smile. "I promise I did, it's just that-" "Shut the fuck up." He felt more stable now that he'd taken some air and the alcohol effect had cooled down. "It's okay, Caro. Let's just have fun tonight and see what happens." "Sounds fun." She leaned in and kissed him on his cheek, the kiss lingering just a second too long. He instinctively put a hand on her hip, but she walked away swiftly after the kiss. The pain on his chest came back, and the little composure he had gained crumbled. She wasn't coming back to him. This time it was definitive, and it had been for a while now. But the worst realization that came to him that night, was how much power she had over him. How much hope, urge, love, anger and pain she could cause in just a matter of hours. She had him at her mercy, like a puppet she could toy with however she wanted. They were both the same kind of wicked, using others for validation, feasting on their adoration. But as much pain as it caused him to know he was at the other end of his own game, it also sparked joy to know he could provide that for her.

#idk how to add an audio file to an ask so the cover is posting in a bit #hope you like it!!!#asks #micha's 700 celebration!#thelasttimeyoueversawme

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sombreboy · 4 years

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Love Maze »14

Previous » Next Series Masterlist ▎ 18+ ▎ pairing: Taehyung x Jungkook ▎ genre: School AU, crack humor, smut, angst, ETL, slow burn, fluff. ▎ word count: 6.8k ▎ ch.warnings: cursing, mentions of tae’s father being abusive, crying/mild angst, smut, Top!JJK, Bottom!KTH (these boys switch it up a lot hah), rimjob, fingering, anal, some fluff dw and they’re still dumb for and to each other but hey what’s new.

Co-writer: @velvetwicebang ♡♡♡

The door immediately flung open, and Jisoo had to remind herself to stop answering when she looked like.. Shit.

“Jung— oh my goodness.. you’re soaked!” She stated the obvious, ushering the boy into her home without exchanging another word.

“Jungkook-ah.. what happened?!”

The woman jogged into her bathroom, coming back with an extra towel at hand.

As if it was never there in the first place, the tiredness didn’t linger any longer. Instead, Jisoo was wide awake as she focused on drying Kook to the best of her abilities, wondering if this was Taehyung’s doing.

Jungkook silently allowed Jisoo to guide him inside, running his fingers through is wet hair as he watched her pat him dry,

Technically he could have just gone home to change first, but the cold clothes were nothing compared to the swirling thoughts occupying his senses, eyes still stinging from both the rain and previous tears.

''Noona, you don't have to...'' His hoarse voice from yelling tried to say, his hand reaching for the towel, ''I can do it.''

Jisoo thought about ignoring his pleas at first, but she ended up granting the towel to Jungkook, not aiming to overstep past any invisible line.

She couldn’t help it.. Kook meant a lot to her.

The woman dragged a chair next to his, resting her drumming hands on her lap.

Jisoo caught a glimpse of the boy’s face, spotting the obvious hurt in his puffy, reddened eyes.

That’s it, she couldn’t stay quiet anymore.

“Jungkookie.. do— do you want anything to drink or eat? I can whip something up quick!” The woman hadn’t even noticed she’d been rambling.

“I’m just.. I’m worried. Where’s Taehyung?”

Somehow, she knew the latter had something to do with this. Hence why her voice weakened at the brief mention of his name.

“Hey.. you can talk to me about anything. You know that, right?”

Jisoo scooted closer to the younger boy, the pads of her thumbs wiping at the wetness underneath his doe eyes.

"I'm not hungry," Jungkook whispered. He had already eaten, and even if it was a while ago-- he had no appetite left.

Jisoos question about Taehyung's whereabouts wasn't surprising, of course she'd ask. She cares about him, and she's so attentive.

"He uh..." Kook inhaled a sniffle through his nose, the cold clothes not helping. "We fought.. again." His shoulders sank. "I just... can't tell if I'm being too sensitive about things. He just gets on my nerves with the shit he does sometimes.."

Her hand perched on one of Jungkook’s shoulders, thumb massaging deep circles into the dampened fabric as she listened to the younger’s troubles.

Honestly? The name ‘Taehyung’ was starting to sound sour.

She knows from experience that couples fight— to some extent. But Jisoo began to question if Jungkook’s relationship with the elder was the right fit. Hell, Kook punched a hole in the wall and showed up at her doorstep late into the night, soaked from the rain.

All because of Taehyung..

“What did he do this time?” The woman exhaled, eyes landing on the towel in Jungkook’s hand.

She carefully took it back from his hold, seeing that he wasn’t putting it to good use and started to dry his wet hair like a mother would do, looking out for his health.

“I’ll beat him for you,” Jisoo chuckled to herself, wanting to enlighten the situation no matter how dark.

Jungkook's lopsided smile was a result of Jisoo's promise to beat his boyfriend up, a breathy snort pushing through his nose. ''Maybe he needs it.''

But just as quickly, the smile fell once more, closing his eyes to focus solemnly on the towel rubbing his head. It was really soothing, it felt like a mother's love... He felt himself calm down before he opened his mouth to answer the question at hand.

''He surprised me with this amazing date night... He got all dressed up, he looked amazing...'' Kook sighs at the memory before continuing. ''And he took me to the arcade, it was tons of fun, honestly...'' he left out a few details to speed the story up, including the mcdonalds. She didn't need the cheesy parts. ''At the end of it, I wanted this.. Dumb fucking teddybear, and we didnt have enough points to get it, right?'' His eyes open to make sure his noona is keeping up. ''He flirted with the cashier girl to get it, and it just..... made me really angry. It hurt, because..He can barely hold my hand in public, but shamelessly lets a stranger touch his hand, even wrote his number down on her palm.. Obviously, it was an act.. But it still hurt! And I told him, I was angry, my temper is shitty, I know... And it just blew up into a thing, I was just so fucking angry I couldnt think!'' He was getting riled up just talking about it, breaths quickening as both anger and the anxiety kicked in.

Now Jisoo was definitely going to beat Taehyung up.

What kind of person does such a thing?

Why would he voluntarily put his boyfriend through the pain of seeing him flirt with someone else? No matter what Tae’s ulterior motive was, it was still a shitty thing to do.

“It’s understandable that you’re angry, Kook. I would be fucking fuming..” The woman comforted, now using the towel to gently pat at Jungkook’s skin.

“If you’d like.. we can talk about something else?” She noticed the way his body automatically began reacting to the memory; distressed was one way to put it.

“Stay here for as long as you’d like. Yuna’s sleeping, so we should have some peace and quiet for a bit..” Jisoo squeezed the boy’s hand, a genuine smile grazing her soft features.

Jungkook nods, her infectious smile causing him to mirror it.

''I should go get changed first, though.''

He was surprised by how easily Jisoo's comfort calmed him down already, the thoughts of Taehyung slowly drifting off to be able to relax.

He did wonder, though, what Taehyung was up to…

''I'll be right back, noona.'' He squeezed her hand back as he stood up before leaving to head to his own apartment.

~~~

Taehyung didn’t stay at his house for long. Only long enough to receive a harsh slap to his face, paired with a series of harsh profanities in the form of ear-piercing shouts.

Yes, he stole money from his father.

But Tae didn’t think a red mark on his cheek was the answer.

He didn’t think him bawling his eyes out whilst he recklessly drove towards Jungkook’s apartment— searching for much needed comfort— was worth it.

His father didn’t possess common parenting skills, that was so fucking obvious yet it still dug a hole in Taehyung’s heavy chest. Every single time.

He’d much rather have his electronics taken away, have been forbidden from hanging out with friends!— not this.

The boy’s chest heaved with every shaky breath he took, warm tears endlessly running down his face, staining the collar of his shirt.

He felt worthless.

‘You’re a fucking nobody, Taehyung!’

‘Should’ve forced your mother into getting that abortion— you’re a disappointment.’

‘If she was still here, your name would bring her shame.’

Taehyung was lucky he’d managed to stop in front of his boyfriend’s apartment in one piece, his vision had been blurred with tears. So much so that he nearly stumbled over with every step.

“K-Kook..” Taehyung weakly called out, attempting to roughly wipe the tears away, only for more to come streaming down.

“I’m sorry.. I’m sorry I’m a disappointment.”

The elder knocked on the door, jaw clenched in anticipation.

Taehyung wanted to see Jungkook’s face, feeling like that’d be the true remedy.

~~~

Jungkook had just changed into dry, comfortable clothes when he heard the knock on his door, imagining it was probably Jisoo who'd grown impatient or wanted to check on him. He took a moment, combing his fingers through his mess of a hair before opening the door.

It definitely wasn't noona.

It was Taehyung, but... it also didn't look like him at all, in a sense. He was crying, eyes reddened and his entire posture was as if he'd shrunk.

He looked broken.

And suddenly it felt like Jungkook's heart shattered into a million pieces.

''Taehyung, what's wrong?''

Jungkook didn't hesitate to pull the elder in by his wrist, closing the door shut behind them for some privacy.

“I-I’m sorry..” His voice cracked, unable to meet Jungkook’s eye. Partly because of the blurriness, and partly due to his internal shame.

He was such an idiot.

“I’m so, so sorry!” The elder threw himself into his boyfriend’s arms, broken sobs muffled against the crook of his neck, eyes crinkled shut as he cried.

He felt worthless. Unloved. Taehyung was hurting, badly.

“He— He hit me.. a-and told me how I was unw-worthy of love and fuck.. I believe him.”

The elder let out, never once pulling away from Jungkook.

Jungkook was speechless at the sudden... well, everything. He'd never seen Taehyung in such a state of devastation, the normally strong man now crying in the youngers arms,

''Who-- your father hit you?'' Kook asked, wrapping his arms around Tae in a tight hug, one hand stroking the back of his head in a soothing motion.

''Hey, hey, calm down, please baby.'' The pet name came naturally, nuzzling his nose into the elders hair. ''He's wrong, Tae.. he's so wrong. Don't believe him...You're okay, you're here.''

Taehyung melted deeper into Jungkook’s comforting embrace, soaking up the younger’s reassuring words like a sponge, feeling like he’d gotten enough of a grasp on his emotions to withdraw from Kook’s touch.

“Thanks..” Taehyung weakly drew out, breath still shaky, but definitely not as bad as before.

For one, his chest no longer ached, and being by his boyfriend’s side was all he needed.

He was right to come here.

"Come, let's sit down." Jungkook said. It wasn't a question, so he pulled Taehyung with him to sit next to him on the couch, hands unable to stay away from the elders face as he swiped away the tears staining his cheeks, just like Jisoo had done to him just a moment earlier.

"I'm sorry..." Kook whispered, leaning in to press a chaste kiss on Taehyung's cheeks, as if hoping it would stop the tears. "You don't deserve to be treated that way... but you have me, okay?.. You're loved... by me..." their previous fight long forgotten-- or at least forgiven? There were more important things than that right now.

"We're okay..."

Taehyung slowly looked up from his lap after growing tired of blankly staring at the color of his jeans, now gazing into his boyfriend’s eyes with an unnamed emotion.

Fondness.. perhaps.

He really likes Jungkook— he wouldn’t know just what to do without the younger boy.

Kook is so.. Him.. and Taehyung loves that.

The elder loves everything about him.

The way his nose scrunches when he laughs, how the corners of his eyes crinkle up and never cease until he’s no longer smiling..

Is.. is this what young love feels like? Because if so, he likes it.

After the soft, ‘we’re okay..’ Tae just about lost it, tears immediately welling up in his hurt eyes.

God.. he fucking adores Kook.

“We’re okay..” Taehyung repeats, reaching over for his boyfriend’s smaller hand, tangling their fingers together.

Taehyung remembered his mother telling him he was one day going to find someone that was meant for him.. his person in the midst of the world’s chaos.

She used ‘strawberries’ as a simple reference, aware of how much her son loved the fruit.

‘Someday, you’re going to love someone as much as you love strawberries. Then, I’ll get to meet them~!’

It was straightforward, but Tae didn’t know what it all meant.

Now, he’s maybe not so clueless..

Jungkook was his person— his ‘strawberry’ in a sense.

Shit.. Taehyung’s in love with him.

“I-I..”

Now that Taehyung had admitted it, all of these feelings came rushing back to him. His heart was beating faster than before.

Who else could make him feel so calm? Who else had his back like no other?

His boyfriend did. His Jungkook.

“I.. I love you, too.”

For the first time in his life, Taehyung was 100% sure about something.

He loves Jeon Jungkook. He couldn’t deny it.

“I love you.” Tae said more clearly, squeezing the Kook’s hand in his.

Jungkook swore that he felt time freeze for a moment as the words left Taehyung's lips, staring at him with wide eyes. He squeezed the elders hand in his, just to ground himself and actually make sure that this wasn't merely a dream, because if it wasn't then--.. Taehyung loves him too.

"Yeah?" Jungkook doesn't know why those few words held so much power, but they did. As soon as he absorbed them, it was as if he was ignited from the inside out, his heart felt so full, and his body ached to feel Taehyung.

"I love you.." Jungkook finally said himself. He's done it before, but none of the times were truly this clear, and this time he didn't worry about the rejection.

"I love you so fucking much, Tae.." his voice lowered, hands removing themselves from his hold as they instead snake around Taes waist to pull his body closer into a hug, nose pressing against his neck. The nice smell Tae had put an effort into having today still lingered...

"I'm sorry for getting angry... I just... I get very jealous." Kook chuckles as he starts pressing kisses against Tae’s neck, the possessiveness behind them growing.

"Jealous when somebody wants what's mine.. and thinking they will get to have it."

Taehyung wrapped his arms around Jungkook’s neck, forehead perched on the latter’s shoulder as he giggled. Tae’s always been a bit ticklish on his neck, and having his boyfriend pressing kisses onto the skin was torturous. Good torture, if that made sense.

The elder’s eyes fluttered shut; just like always, Kook was paying close attention to the spot that drove him crazy.

“It wasn’t your fault..” Tae murmured, lips slightly parted as the slim hint of pleasure began to kick in. Taehyung’s fingers played with the strands of hair on the back of Jungkook’s head, his hand then slithering down the latter’s back. He gripped at the fabric of his baggy shirt, warm puffs of air freeing themselves from his lips.

There was little to no space between them— Taehyung could feel the heat of his breath waft back to his face.

“I love you so much.. I’m only yours.”

Jungkook smiles against the skin on Tae's neck before pressing one last open mouthed kiss against the prominent vein that trailed down the elders throat.

''Yeah?'' His own breath was hotter, voice several octaves lower as he spoke.

''Why is it that it feels like we've been apart for weeks when it's only been a few hours... Fuck, I missed you.'' He murmurs as he withdraws just enough to look into Tae's eyes, wasting no time in kissing him on the lips, the part of him he'd missed the most.

Well, that'd be a lie... There's other parts he missed just as much, and his hands weren't shy to let the Tae know of it, as they trailed underneath his shirt to get a feel of his torso, smoothing his calloused fingers over the soft, firm skin. ''Want you...'' He paused, eyes piercing through his boyfriend with a new spark in his gaze, ''Bed, now- please..''

Every time the younger bossed him around Taehyung’s caramel skin flushed, overtaken by the sudden drive to do as he pleases. He wanted to endure whatever Jungkook had in mind— he wanted to feel his boyfriend inside of him.

Just as much as Taehyung was enamored with Jungkook’s Bambi eyes, he also fell victim to his naughtier aspects. He enjoyed listening to his boyfriend’s frustrated grunts.. his sensual moans.

Taehyung loved the way Jungkook’s noticeable girth stretched him out, making him squirm in his spot.. hips twitching the deeper he nailed into his ass.

What was there not to like?

He was highly anticipating what was to come.

Taehyung didn’t need to ask, he knew the younger would be the one in charge this time. The way his sultry voice rang, commanding him to do as he wished— Taehyung turned into a submissive puddle. With a shy nod, Tae walked towards Jungkook’s bedroom, hips swaying provocatively while doing so. He sat himself on the edge of Kook’s bed, biting down on his lip whilst he discarded his shirt, carelessly throwing it to the side.

“I want you to make love to me..”

The elder pushed himself from off the bed, hands traveling up Kook’s chest before settling on his shoulders. “Please?”

Jungkook flashes his genuine bunny-like smile as he looks down at his boyfriend, the sweet boy peeking through his layers of desires. He nods, towering over the elder as he presses another chaste kiss on his lips before using his muscular frame to force Taehyung to back down on the bed, guiding them both to scoot up on the duvet until the elder was on his back, Jungkook on his knees above him.

"I'll make you feel so good, I promise," Kook murmured, his face morphing back into his dominant persona as he discards of his own shirt, leaning down to immediately begin kissing Taehyung on the neck, down to his shoulders, alternating between his tongue, teeth and small sucks. This time, he was the one marking the other-- and he was going to take his sweet time with him.

Taehyung worshipped the boy’s muscles with his roaming hands, hips rocking on their own from the way Jungkook’s sauntering lips stained his neck, chest, and shoulders.

“A-ah..” He gasped, one hand gripping at his boyfriend’s longer curls, feeling the soft texture in between his fingers.

“I can’t get over how strong you are.. hmm!” Taehyung’s dull nails dug deeper into his boyfriend‘s bicep, throwing his head back into the pillow.

Shit, was there such a thing as a muscle kink? Because the elder was sure that’s what he was into..

Completely blindsided by lust, a long, drawn-out moan bounced against the walls of the quiet room. It was as if he felt the blood clot underneath his skin, squirming at the way Jungkook’s tongue effortlessly flicked against it.

A low growl vibrated in Jungkook's chest, he could feel his blood rushing down straight to his cock with every reaction and sound he drew out of his boyfriend. He pressed his clothed bulge against Taehyung's, feeling the obvious; they were both already rock hard for each other.

"Keep touching me, fuck... you're so delicious, and all mine." he murmurs into Taehyungs collarbone before giving it a harsh suck, tainting his skin with purple.

Both men were turning into breathy messes, the tortuous aching between Kooks legs only spurring his greediness further. He desperately needed to be inside of Taehyung.

But, there was no need to rush, he wanted Tae to turn into a needy, squirming mess underneath him--- and he loved being a tease.

"So beautiful," Kook growls, flexing his muscles deliberately for Taehyung to see-- and feel.

"So loved." His voice smoothed out with the words, a drawn out moan pushing through his lips as he started to grind their hips together, kisses trailing back up to the elders lips. He took the chance to slip his tongue into Taehyung's mouth when his lips were parted in a moan, the taste itself allowing low, needy grunts to rumble in his throat, muffled by the kisses.

“Jungkook..! A-ahh.. j-just like that, baby.”

Taehyung’s head snapped to the side, face scrunched up into a delightful mess as all his senses were able to detect was Jungkook’s clothed cock rubbing up against his own.

“Fuck.. make love to me already, I need to feel you inside..”

His needy hole clenched down on its own, the pure image of his boyfriend’s dick rearranging his guts was effective— maybe a little too effective as Tae merely moaned at the thought, hips meeting Jungkook’s with every rocking motion.

"I will, baby, be patient.." Jungkook purrs into his ear before he sits up straight on his knees, admiring the view beneath him as he smoothed his hands down the elders torso until his fingers curl by the hem of Tae's pants and boxers in one go, tugging at them for a bit, teasing a second too long before he gives in-- peeling the fabrics off of his boyfriend, using his strength to easily lift Taehyung's hips up as he does so.

Taehyung’s rock-hard cock sprung up and whipped against his lower stomach, making his body shiver from the sudden contact. The boy wasn’t hard to please, finding every touch of Jungkook’s fingertips intoxicating.

He stared up at his boyfriend with hazy, dimmed eyes— love clearly swirling from within the irises as he shamelessly brought his knees up to his chest, giving Kook a wide view of his puckered hole.

“Use me..” Taehyung whispered, wiggling his hips invitingly, loving the attention he was getting.

The day’s shitty events were long forgotten, instead they were consumed by the lust he felt towards his man.

It was eating him up inside, antsy as he waited for Jungkook’s next move.

It was weird to think that at the beginning, Taehyung felt.. anxious in the bedroom. In a way, the latter didn’t want to open himself up to the younger too much. But now, as he flashed all he had to offer to his boyfriend, Tae grew more comfortable.

Love really does that to you, huh?

The sharp inhale didn't go unnoticed by either of the men as the younger's eyes admired the view, spreading Tae's hole further with his thumbs. Jungkook dropped down to his chest momentarily, there was no way he'd let this simply be a feast for his fingers.

No, he wanted a taste.

Without a word, he did as he pleased, placing warm, wet kisses on Taehyung's hole, the delicate skin so tasteful to his mouth that he moans at the sensation himself, along with the addicting sounds the man above him makes.

Taehyung’s hooded eyes widened in surprise, not expecting his boyfriend to kiss him somewhere so.. private.

“Shit— baby, that’s embarrassing..” The elder moaned out loud, still keeping his legs in place whilst he watched Jungkook, infatuated with the younger’s mind.

“Ah..” He bit down on his lip, blushing a significant amount.

His outgrown fringe fell over his eyes, skin moist from utter suspense.

Tae was an embarrassed mess. Yet, he didn’t mind.

Kook is his boyfriend, he’s supposed to see every part of him no matter how personal.

''You've got nothing to be embarrassed about, baby,'' Jungkook glances up at his boyfriend with eyes blown wide with lust and awe. Maybe a part of the younger did enjoy when Taehyung became a bit flustered, but as long as he was actually comfortable and pliant with what was going on, that's what's important.

Jungkook sticks his full tongue out, using the wet muscle to circle the elders hole that was now soaked with saliva, prodding the tip of his tongue against the opening to draw more reactions. Just a little bit more teasing... Taehyung was delicious.

“Baby..!” Taehyung‘s body was extremely responsive, hips jittering as he clung on to a handful of his boyfriend’s hair. His eyes were squeezed shut, jaw slack as he focused on his heavy breathing.

Jungkook’s tongue felt wonderful.. fuck, how would it feel like if the younger ate him out?

The tempting imagery made Taehyung’s pink entrance clench, then proceed to unclench in a pattern. His legs were shaking the slightest bit, toes curled as he snuck a quick glance down at Kook.

“So good.. so fucking good..” Despite his vulgar language, the elder’s voice wasn’t anywhere near as confident. It was soft, close to the form of a strained whisper. As if his hips had a mind of their own, they slowly rocked into Jungkook’s mouth. The sensation was so new yet so.. not. Taehyung fell victim to it, hard.

Jungkook was a little surprised by how well received his ministrations were, so incredibly responsive to him-- it made the younger more desperate for his body, feeling his cock twitch and throb with every shudder from Tae's body.

He pushed the tip of his tongue inside of Taehyung's hole, the slick from his saliva making it easier-- so he did it again, and again, and again until he was able to practically fuck his tongue into Tae. Meanwhile, Jungkook used one hand to reach down to unbutton his pants, the sound of the zipper echoing in the room to indicate what's to come.

Every time Jungkook’s slim tongue thrusted into him, a cry of pleasure erupted from the back of the elder’s throat.

His legs visibly struggled to stay put, thighs lightly closing in on his boyfriend’s head— both hands placed on the crown to steady himself in the midst of the overwhelming rapture.

He was in heaven..

“Fuck.. I-I like that..” Taehyung breathily admitted, smoothing his fingers over Kook’s messy hair whilst he quivered for him, slyly directing his ass closer to the other’s feasting mouth.

As if it was a natural reaction, Tae’s naked body shivered with anticipation at the familiar sound of the zipper coming undone, grunting in disappointment when his boyfriend’s fat dick had yet to push its way inside of him. Taehyung was impatient, but the sensation of Jungkook’s tongue kept him engaged during the meantime.

Jungkook wiggled his pants down below his hips, just enough for him to be able to pull his throbbing length out to immediately stroke himself to the sounds of the elder, still indulging in his ass for a moment longer until he deemed it enough. He withdrew his mouth for a bit, spitting on Tae's already soaked hole for good measure.

''Gonna have to do that to me next time, I'm getting jealous..'' Jungkook jokes, but his voice was smooth and low. He sat up straight to finally discard of the rest of his clothes, making it even in terms of nudity,

''Keep holding your legs up just like that, baby.'' He murmurs, one hand still lazily stroking his cock, tip reddened and eager for the elder, while using the fingers of his other hand to begin stretching out Tae's cute little ass. One finger easily slipped inside thanks to the previous tongue fucking, so it didn't take long before he managed to slip two-- even three inside, until it became a tight fit. A part of Jungkook wondered, and almost craved, to fit all of them, just like Tae had done to him.

Taehyung did as his boyfriend instructed, legs holding up on their own as his slender fingers parted his sloppy entrance, widening the rosy area to grant Jungkook clearer access.

“Fuuck..!” A sharp cry of initial pain, the younger’s never stuffed three digits inside of him before.

The soreness in his legs was nothing compared to this.

Meanwhile, his fingers had a hard time staying in place, the wetness from around his hole making it difficult to get a nice grasp on the moist, sticky skin.

The boy’s raven hair tousled even more when he arched his spine off the bed, carelessly throwing his head back with a loud moan, hips swiveling as he attempted to fuck himself on his boyfriend’s hand.

“I-I’m ready for another one..” Tae lowly pleaded, beads of precum staining his soft lower stomach.

''Good boy,'' Jungkook cooed, his eyes wide with admiration of how good he's stretched out Tae's hole, the rims of it turning a darker shade of pink from the constant friction. He adds a fourth finger, jamming the elder full of his long fingers until he reaches that one spot he knows will drive him towards madness.

''Fuck, you're taking my fingers so well..'' Jungkook groans at the sight, the slick sounds of his fingers now pumping into Taehyung, his other hand jerking himself off with more greed, smearing his precum down his length. He was practically ready for Kook's fat cock, and the younger couldn't wait to give it to him.

“I’m— I’m a good boy..” Taehyung verbally replayed his boyfriend’s low praise, melting further into a puddle of submission as he allowed Jungkook to toy with his worn-out entrance.

No matter how his peers perceived him to be inside of the bedroom, Tae loved letting the younger boss him around— belittle him, in a way.

Taehyung felt so small whenever he was under Jungkook’s control; it was pathetic how much his persona shifted in the snap of a finger. The boy was no longer the grumpy, asshole of a jerk that dismissed how others felt.

No, instead he became.. sensitive, breathless for air as he laid underneath Kook’s far more muscular body.

“Baby! T-that’s so— a-ahh.. so good..” Nonetheless, Tae was desperate to wrap around the veiny cock that ripped him away from his virginity, showcasing a whole new world of pleasure that Taehyung didn’t know even existed until Jungkook came along and showed him.

“Please.. please put it in me, Kook.. please.” He had tears in his eyes, finding the younger’s fingers filling as they quickly fidgeted inside of him.

Taehyungs begging was exactly what Jungkook needed to lose the last bit of patience he had left in him, not wasting a single second longer to pull his fingers out with a wet pop. He moved up into position on his knees, leaning over his boyfriend with his muscular body to get a good close up of the mess he's made of the man, all while using his fingers that were coated with Taes juices to run it down his veiny cock.

"You want this, hm?" Kook made it sound like he was about to tease again, but within the same second he drove his hips forward, letting the thick head of his cock push inside of Taehyung's stretched hole.

"Ah, fuck...yes.." he groaned, slowly filling the other male up until he was fully inside. The warm tightness made Jungkook's cock throb inside of Taehyung, keeping himself still for a second to relish in the feeling, "shit... four fingers stretching you and you're still so tight for me.."

Taehyung’s arms wrapped around his boyfriend’s neck as the latter gradually screwed deeper into him, moaning into the sweaty skin. His hole welcomed the younger’s pulsating cock with a compressed clench of his walls, the warmth securely wrapping around the shaft.

He circled his legs around Jungkook’s small waist, nudging him closer until he felt his boyfriend’s heavy balls press against him. Even then, that wasn’t enough.

“I love you so fucking much..” Taehyung mumbled into the crook of his neck, softly kissing at Jungkook’s Adam’s apple, prodding his nose against the clammy skin.

“You’re t-the best boyfriend in the world..” By now, Tae was simply spilling truthful nonsense.

He couldn’t seem to think clearly when Kook’s dick was planted inside of him, the tip resting against his prostate.

Jungkook felt his entire body shudder, well earned by the man below. The younger loved verbal confirmations, and the way Taehyung said every single word it was as if it gave him an eargasm.

Still warming his cock deep inside of Taes wonderful ass, he slowly begins to move as he hovers over his boyfriend. He keeps it gentle for now, his heavy breaths steady.

"I love you too...ah.." Kook withdrew his hips all the way, until just the tip was inside before snapping them forward, drawing out a low moan of his own. Taking it slow like this after such a buildup made him feel every little clench and throb of Taehyung's insides.

"You like this?" Jungkook asks, finding his slow rhythm to continuously hit that sweet spot-- but without any rush or intensity. This wasnt like before, he wasnt just fucking his boyfriend... this was them having sex-- making love.

Taehyung loves him.. Jungkook was savoring Taes body with his own all while the overwhelming emotions were swirling in his eyes.

Taehyung withdrew his arms from around the younger’s neck, instead softly cupping Jungkook’s face in between his hands, gazing up at his boyfriend’s concentrated eyes while he made love to him.

In a sweet moment like this, he noted how the space between Kook’s brows creased up in attentiveness, how his growing hair effortlessly fell down to his face— things Tae wouldn’t have normally taken notice of if he was getting hammered onto the bed.

“I like it, a lot..” He opened up his legs a little more, enjoying the slower pace this time around.

It was.. alleviating, in some way. To have Kook care for his body with such delicacy in his actions..

The elder craned his neck upwards to press a soft kiss onto the boy’s pouty lips, muffling a strained moan in the meanwhile.

“So good.. I love this— a-ah.. hmm..”

Jungkook's eyes fluttered shut, a quiet rumbling moan getting caught in Taes mouth as the younger kept coming back for more. He couldn't get enough of his lips.

"Feels so good," Kook breathes out when he withdraws from the kiss, his strong arms holding him up with a hand on each side of the elders head, his torso hovering over the male below him. Gradually, the movement of his hips sped up-- using his core strength to drive his entire length in and out of Taehyung,

Eager to draw more sounds of the elder, he kisses down his neck, once more giving the purple marks adorning his skin another addition to the collection before moving down further, his lips encasing Taehyung's nipple-- he wondered if he was just as sensitive as he was. Tonight was all about finding more ways to make his boyfriend feel absolutely amazing, to keep his mind off anything but Jungkook.

The elder’s fingernails grazed along the strong muscles in Jungkook’s back, squeezing and clawing at the latter’s shoulder blades whenever he was met by a harsh prod at his prostate.

“Ah fuck..”

There was not a remaining inch in Taehyung’s body that wasn’t sensitive under the younger’s commissions. He lewdly studied the way his boyfriend engulfed his perky nipple into his mouth, torso stuttering when Kook began to deliciously flick his tongue. That boy knew what he was doing..

“B-babe right there..!” His hips continued to meet Jungkook’s halfway, moaning his little heart out with every precise thrust. Taehyung forcefully lowered the younger’s body, feeling the boy’s chest heave against his own as the elder’s nails dragged along his back, sure to leave a few scratches.

“I-I’m gonna cum soon..” He breathed out against Jungkook’s temple, inhaling his scent whilst he readied himself for the upcoming explosion.

"Me too, shit... please, can I--fuck.." Jungkooks clammy chest rubbed against Taehyungs, providing a friction between their bodies, his stomach pressing against the elders cock with every thrust. His movements were precise, powerful yet soft. Full of love and the desire to make the man beneath him cum just from his cock consistently prodding at Tae's prostate.

"C-can I cum inside? Want to fill you up so badly.." he allowed a whiny moan to escape his lips, burying his nose in the crook of Taehyung's neck, his rhythm slowly losing it's consistency and instead replaced with needy thrusts.

The warmth of his cock getting squished in between their sweaty bodies drove Taehyung insane, jaw hanging slack whilst he roughly dragged his nails across Jungkook’s back.

“Y-yes,” He whined, “fill me up..”

Fuck, he was so close..

Tae’s shaky legs wrapped tighter around the younger’s waist, the heels of his feet digging into the latter’s sides for physical support— emotional, too.

His high-pitched moans were silenced by the bite on Jungkook’s shoulder, teeth gradually sinking deeper into the flexed skin as he held his boyfriend close.

Jungkook cried out a throaty moan at the various sensations driving him absolutely mad. Everything from the elders teeth biting his shoulder, to the scratches on his back, even their sweaty bodies just grinding together. But the best sensation of them all was the way Jungkook’s cock was tightly squeezed by the warmth of Taehyung's insides.

A few punishing thrusts followed, fucking into his boyfriend as deep as he was physically able to, low grunts and curses slipping past his lips,

"I love you, I love you, I fucking love you..!" Jungkook mindlessly repeated over and over in a barely audible whisper between his breathy groans, a particularly loud one following when his hips stuttered as he finally came inside. He kept his cock lodged inside of Taes ass, desperate to fill him up properly as his cock pulsated with every rope of his cum, filling him up with everything he could give.

Taehyung’s long, drawn out moan followed soon after, the skin of their lower stomachs covered in a puddle of his sticky mess.

“Ah..” He moaned at the feeling of the younger’s cum spilling into his insides, clenching down on his boyfriend’s limp cock to squeeze out whatever may be left.

His legs droopily fell to his sides, disconnecting themselves from Jungkook’s small waist.

“Babe, that was amazing..”

Taehyung’s nails were no longer clawing at Jungkook’s skin, instead he smoothed his palms over the fresh marks on his back, slender fingers occasionally grazing over the agitated spots.

As if it was the last time he’d ever see him again, Tae wrapped his arms around the younger, pulling him all the more close.

“I love you,” he whispered, wanting to permanently ink the words in Jungkook’s brain.

Taehyung didn’t want him to ever forget.

He didn’t mind that his boyfriend’s dick was still inside of him, the elder’s persona shifted to a more caring chapter.

“You did so good,” he pressed a wet smooch on Kook’s rosy cheek, brushing his fingers through his tangled hair.

“Thank you for loving me..” Taehyung glanced down at his face, giggling a little before focusing back on his boyfriend’s hair.

Jungkook grimaced at the burning sensation of the claw marks on his back, the feeling of them grew as he came back down from his sexual high. It was quickly forgotten however, when the elder pulled him down for a kiss on the cheek, the youngers shy mannerism crawling back to the surface in the form of a blush on his cheeks and a coy smile.

"I like this new side of you..." he exhaled quietly as he slipped out of his boyfriend, moving to lay down next to him on his back. His hand that was the closest to taehyung reached out to find his hand, intertwining their fingers as a sweet gesture.

"I always knew I loved you in a sense," he suddenly confessed, "but I think... since that first night in the gymnasium... you've grown so much, you know?" Jungkook glanced over at Taehyung, squeezing his hand affectionately, "And so did my feelings.. it's crazy."

Now it was Taehyung’s turn to blush, pushing through the itching nervousness as he continued to hold unwavering eye contact, carefully listening to Jungkook’s every word.

He squeezed the younger’s hand back, smiling at the compliment.

Every time Tae hears his boyfriend admit how much he’s grown.. it tugs at his heartstrings.

That phrase reassured him that he was capable of additional change, and by the sounds of it, change wasn’t an unattainable milestone for him to reach.

Taehyung wanted to be a better man than his father ever was.

That was something that's always scared him— ending up like his deadbeat of a dad.

Now, the elder was sure that would never happen to him.

He was growing little by little everyday, something his father never did.

“I.. I think I knew I had feelings for you all the way back in elementary school,” Taehyung chuckled, staring up at the ceiling whilst he reminisced.

“Remember that day, uh.. was it during recess? I don’t know, but I fell.. and you shared your banana milk with me? Saying how it’ll magically make me feel better or something like that..?” The sound of the elder’s amused laughter echoed in the otherwise quiet room, turning his head to look at Jungkook.

“I remember thinking, ‘this isn’t magical at all, I still feel like shit.’ I don’t know.. it’s stupid, but.. I guess that’s when I started wanting to talk to you more? I wanted to hold your hand.. and kiss you, and share your magical banana milk.”

His smile grew, turning over to his side to snuggle up against Kook’s chest.

“Anyways, I guess all I wanna say is.. ha, I loved you first~”

Jungkook's toothy grin widened at the memory, his heart beating faster at the elders counter confession. They've been through so much, done so much, and yet Taehyung managed to make Jungkook's heart race.

''I guess so, but I said it first,'' He embraced his boyfriend, stroking through his messy curls before placing a kiss on his head. Exhaustion gradually hit him, the day had been eventful after all. He was just glad it ended well.

''Babe?'' Kook used the pet name in a coy manner to draw Tae's attention to him, ''I just wanted to say... You can stay here as long as you'd like, okay?''

Preferably Jungkook would just say, move the fuck in with me, but... yeah, why not?

Just the thought of Taehyung going back home was frustrating. Especially after what had happened today.

Jungkook would do anything to keep him safe... And this is something he could offer.

Now he definitely would need that part time job he's been putting off for too long.

Taehyung snuggled closer to his boyfriend, looking up at him with so much profound adoration in his tired eyes..

Jungkook was the only good thing in his life at the moment.

“Okay,” the corners of his lips curled up into a thankful smile, draping one leg over the younger’s as he closed his eyes to the warmth radiating off of his chest.

“Goodnight, Kook.”

Taehyung pressed a kiss onto the boy’s neck, sooner than later allowing sleep to take over him.

That night, he slept like a baby. No worries, no tossing, just.. soundly.

Jungkook wraps his arm around Taehyung, responding immediately with a kiss at the crown of his head, murmuring his sleepy words.

"Goodnight Tae."

Jungkook stayed awake for a while, even though he was exhausted, chest heaving up and down slowly, the gentle movements rocking the elder to sleep.

His eyes fluttered close, but opened just as quickly when he remembered something.

'I'll be right back, noona.'

He’d forgotten about Jisoo.

Ah, fuck.... But she would understand, right?

#fic: Love maze #taekook smut #vkook smut #top jungkook #bottom taehyung #dom jungkook #sub taehyung #bts smut #bts mxm #taekook series #taekook school au #bts series #taekook fanfic #vkook fanfic #bts taekook

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poems-and-pillows-and-puppies · 4 years

Text

Song of the Sea: Chapter 1- Bow

Hello there. I decided to make a fanfiction based off of @thenerdyalchemist‘s amazing pirate!AU! Here’s the link to the Ao3 page- https://archiveofourown.org/works/22967113

Chapter 1- Bow

Walking along the beach of Alorminia, Ethari felt the wind blow its sea-salty breath onto his already salt-encrusted clothes. Rayla giggled, letting the waves’ spray pelt her face. The colors of the pier rushed in, a whorl of blues and browns and yellows on the winding beaches. The sound of children laughing echoed in Ethari’s ears. Children rolled in the sand, making miniature dust-storms in their wake, as parents, disapproving and encouraging alike, followed in tow. The sand felt like satin under their callused, well-worn feet. Rayla smiled at the other children’s antics, but made no move to follow. Ethari wondered when their little girl went from exploring everything and escaping his and Runaan’s grasps to mellowly holding onto their hands as they went exploring through new towns and cities beside the sea. As he stood there, lost in memories of long, long ago, Rayla turned her eyes toward him and tugged on his shirt. He turned his gaze to her, and she beamed at her adoptive father with the warmth of a sunbeam on a cloudy day. Ethari returned the favor, giddy from the feeling of stable land- at least, as stable as sand can be- underneath his heels. He could see Runaan making his way towards one of the sandside stores, already haggling for a better price on a pair of bandanas. At the moment, Runaan looked deep in thought, his brow furrowed like the loose plank he had fixed at sea the night before. Sweat glistened on his brow, reflecting off the blue henna-like tattoos that defined his entire identity, his silvery-white hair untied and flowing off his shoulders like the many waterfalls he and Ethari have passed by under the light of the moon. Ethari’s gaze moved down towards his waist and noticed that Runaan’s purse had already shrunk, albeit not by much, the leather rope that bound the pocket was a little slack and Ethari had a slight pang of anxiety overtake him. ‘What if he had been pickpocketed?’ Ethari shook his head slightly, his slightly spiked hair swaying in time with his head movement. ‘No,’ he said to himself, ‘the king of the pirates wouldn’t possibly allow himself to be pickpocketed.’ He strolled toward his husband, the sand shifting beneath his feet to accommodate his weight. Runaan snapped out of his trance and turned slightly to look at his first mate. “Runaan?”

“Ethari.”

“What are you haggling for?”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

Despite his cold and harsh words, Ethari could sense his affectionate tone. ‘What a grouch I married. Can’t even show his love. Well, two can play at that game.’

“Dear, we don’t need to distract this merchant anymore. We can get a cheaper bandana at the other store.”

He kissed his husband’s forehead, ignoring the faint saltiness of his sweat, for the sake of the performance. The recipient looked at him with confusion in his eyes but caught on in a split second. He faked acquiescence. His blush from the kiss, however, was genuine. They acted like they were moving on. The merchant spluttered.

“W-wait! I can give it to you for 10 coppers! 10!”

Runaan stopped in his tracks. Ethari, sensing that this was an exponentially better deal than before, based on his spouse’s actions, waited for his husband to pay for the clothing. Rayla bounced up and down on her heels, violet eyes wide and sparkling, taking in the hustle and bustle of the town. Now that he was closer, Ethari took a good look at the merchant. The merchant was well-rounded, as if he had eaten a few steaks too many for his body to have handled it nicely. His voice, though rough-sounding at first listen, was oily and sent uncomfortable shivers down his spine. The next time the two had eye contact, Ethari gave a half-lidded glare at the shopkeeper, making the man’s wattle tremble. After Runaan had finished his purchase, the group plodded on with the nearest produce shop in mind. As the ground turned from sand to hard-packed mud to cobblestone and the open airs of the beach turned to crowded wooden stalls and people from all sides, the two pirates argued over what to buy for the ship with playful tones, with Rayla adding her own two cents every once in a while.

“...so there, Runii! Fruits are a must!”

“They’re expensive, you big buffoon.”

“Hey! I’m only a little bit taller than you!”

Rayla chipped in, “You guys are both the same height to me! You two are so silly!”

The group laughed, each in their own ways. Runaan looked forwards. “We’ve reached the produce stalls. Why don’t you two go look for some treats or something? I heard Alorminia has the best sugared apples.” Ethari and Rayla bobbed their heads up and down like birds, making Runaan chuckle. He made a shooing motion. “Go on, you two.” The two scuttled off, disappearing into the crowd.

Ethari and Rayla strolled through the marketplace, searching for the sweet stands. People who noticed their markings kept a wide berth around them, much to their degree of comfort and space. Rayla frowned at the looks of fear on some of the people’s faces. “Why are some of them scared of us, Papa?” Her wobbly voice caught him off guard and he crouched to her eye level. “My little Rayla, you mustn’t be afraid of them. They may seem afraid of us, but that’s just because they’ve been taught to do so.” He winced inwardly at the lie. “Really?”

“Yes, my little albatross.”

“Okay!” Her smile came back full force. He stood up, searching for the stands once more. Much to their annoyance, there was a large crowd of people in the way of the streets stand that were watching a group of dancers pirouette in the square, stopping their adventure in their tracks. The jolly music of harmonicas and banjos filled the air with whoops of joy and yelling. Rayla sighed in disappointment. “I guess we should go back to Dad now.” Her ears drooped. She turned around and started walking back. A call from Ethari stopped her. “Rayla! I’ve found a little passageway. Wanna try?” She did a full 180 to see her father point to a narrow streetway. Her ears went back to full mast. “Yeah!” She ran to Ethari, renewed delight scrawled onto her features.

The streetway was narrow, but it was still full of people. Elves of all kinds strolled through it, but more humans than elves manned the stalls. Ethari began to suspect something was wrong when he accidentally bumped into someone and a small, bejeweled dagger fell out of the hooded stranger’s clothes. His mind whirled with worry, but he tamped it down for the sake of his daughter. ‘Why am I so scared, anyway? This is an elf-friendly town and nobody is foolish enough to attack the family of the most famous pirate of this time. What is there to worry?’ As the streetway narrowed even further, his anxiety rose, until it reached his throat. ‘Something is wrong!’ He whirled around in a hasty frenzy, but nothing caught his eye. A tug on his clothing turned his gaze back downwards. “What’s wrong, Papa?” Rayla’s confused eyes acted as an anchor point for the antsy elf. His breathing slowed. His pulse stopped beating in his ears like a frantic drum. “N-nothing, sweetheart. I thought I-I saw something,” he stuttered. The road had narrowed to a one-person space only and alarm bells were ringing in his head like a death knell. He turned around. The hooded stranger from earlier was not far behind them. His mind raced. “H-how-”

“Did you think that we humans couldn’t do magic, too? Too bad. Hand the girl over.”

“N-no. This is my daughter.”

The stranger chuckled. “Really, now? Then why does she have the pirate king’s markings and you don’t?”

Ethari did a double take. “What?”

“Come on. Did you think that I would be that foolish?”

“I have the markings too.”

Ethari bared his arms, showing off the faintly-glowing markings. The human gasped quietly, a noise that Ethari barely heard, even with his sensitive hearing. The human shook their head.

“Unfortunately, my client told me the girl, and the girl only. If you won’t cooperate, we’ll take her by force.”

Ethari’s heart stopped. “We?”

The human looked at him, eyes glinting electric blue in the shaded darkness of the alley. “Yes, we. Who do you think was the first alerter to your presence? The people who were peddlers in the so-called ‘streetway’? We were all waiting for you, and you walked straight into our traps.”

The figure held their hand out. “Now, hand her over.”

Ethari bristled. “No! How dare you! We have not done a single thing to you or your city!”

“Very well then, we’ll do it the fun way. Suit yourself.”

Men began to surround the way the two came from. Ethari glanced back to see men cover the other way out of the alley. He raised his arms into a guard position, poised to fight. Rayla cowered beside him, trembling in fear.

The human raised their arms and stood there, static, unmoving. Ethari waited, breath held, ready for their first word. The human exhaled, and Ethari tensed. The slightest word fell from their lips. “Move.” And the men came from all sides. Ethari fell under a flurry of punches and kicks. He was strong, as he was a pirate and a former blacksmith, but even then, he could not fight against so many assailants unarmed. Pain flared from every point of contact, and Ethari cried out in pain whenever someone hit him in an extremely painful spot. His sight began to flicker, and with one last burst of strength, he reached out to his daughter, miraculously untouched other than a few jostles here and there. Rayla grabbed his hand one last time, and his mind went dark. His limp body fell to the floor, unmoving. Rayla shrieked in fear, concern, and sadness. “Papa!?” Hands grabbed her from all angles. She fought with them, desperation leaking into her features. A sharp tang assaulted her nostrils, and within a few seconds, she had followed her father into the realms of unrestful rest.

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Ethari awoke to sharp pain all over his body and the concerned face of his husband. He hazily sat up, much to Runaan’s relief. “Oh my Xadia! Are you okay?” He drowsily smiled at his husband. He slurred, “Sure. I ‘eel fine. ‘ere’s ‘Ayla?” He looked around in confusion. “Yeah, that was my next question too. Where’s Rayla?” With those words, his anxiety skyrocketed. He shook himself out of his daze with a predatorial growl. “That little bastard- I’m gonna’ put ‘im in a barrel-” Ethari muttered, eyes taking on a deadly shade of anger. Runaan, confused, inquired, “What do you mean? Who are you talking about?” Ethari looked up at his concerned partner, and with a deep undertone of outrage at the hooded human, retold his story to Runaan. As the story went on, Runaan began to growl himself, and by the end of the tale, was already on his feet. “And that’s it? He’s just.. Gone? You let him?” Incredulity filled his tone and Ethari hissed in annoyance. “You blockhead. I just said that I tried my best to fight back! There were too many-”

“You still let him!”

“I tried my best!”

“It wasn’t enough!”

“I couldn’t do anything!”

“Rayla’s gone!” Ethari snapped his mouth closed. “She’s gone, Ethari. And it’s all your fault.”

Rage clouded his husband’s features. The face he had grown to love, to cherish, to care for with all his heart- Tears welled up under his eyelids, threatening to spill out onto the ground below. He turned around, sobbing, and ran in the direction he had entered. Tears altered his vision. His ears heard nothing but the echoes of “It’s all your fault.” His mind, usually full of words and thoughts, was silent, as if punishing him for his failure. “It’s all your fault.”

“It’s all your fault.”

“She’s gone….And it’s all your fault.”

#tdp #pirate!au #thenerdyalchemist #fanfic #inspired work #writing #the dragon prince #thedragonprinceofficial

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chicagocityofclans · 4 years

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Belle Cunningham → Taissa Farmiga → Warlock

→ Basic Information

Age: 64

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Pansexual

Powers: Creation

Birthday: December 21st

Zodiac Sign: Sagittarius

Religion: Buddhism

Mark: Unknown

Generation: 1st

→ Her Personality Belle is a kind and shy spirit compared to her warlock brothers and sisters. She’s simple and open, wanting to live her life to the fullest. She possesses a strong intellect and a sharp, witty demeanor. She is very forgiving and straightforward but can at times be perceived as aggressive, especially when she is hurt and finally speaks from the heart. Her soft nature is often taken for granted. Before she learned of her powers, she was a bit of a loner, and became increasingly isolated as she experienced the symptoms of being a Creator. Once found and over the course of her training, Belle developed a deeper passion for being a warlock and familial love for the supernatural community. She grew into a vibrant and confident woman and found a new popularity amongst others of her kind. She also developed a sense of responsibility, helping her mentor with the other mentees and taking on jobs related to her powers within the warlock and witch community.

→ Her Personal Facts

Occupation: Seeker in Training and Creator of Magical Cauldron, Pots and Unbreakable Bottles

Scars: None

Tattoos: None

Two Likes: Warmth and The Sun

Two Dislikes: The Cold and Snow

Two Fears: Cacophobia and Dentists

Two Hobbies: Creating organic/inorganic matter to study and visiting theme parks

Three Positive Traits: Creative, Easygoing, Insightful

Three Negative Traits: Cynical, Melodramatic, Oversensitive

→ Her Connections

Parent Names:

Velma Cunningham (Mother): Velma was there throughout Belle’s long stays at the hospital, unclear diagnostics and sleepless nights. Once Belle learned about the supernatural life, she knew she couldn’t leave her mother behind and took her along with her. They have a strong bond and unbreakable bond. However, with her mother nearing her mid-80s, Belle has become increasingly worried for her health.

Sibling Names:

None

Children Names:

None

Romantic Connections:

Maya ‘Flower’ Hanes (Girlfriend): Belle and Flower had to overcome a lot at the beginning of their relationship, between both of them being closeted, Flower being engaged and terrified of commitment, and the ever evolving issues with Belle’s powers. A part of Belle thinks since they made it through that, there’s nothing they can’t face with each other. Belle loves her sarcasm and originality, and just how special she is when no one is looking. She just likes being around her, whether they’re both working quietly, lying around in bed or hanging out at a bar.

Platonic Connections:

Eric Lasiter (Mentor): Eric has always treated her with respect. Most of her life she was used to being talked down to or treated like she didn’t understand what was happening with her own body. Eric listened to her requests to keep her mother around, and helped her find a way to work around her disabilities. She has a lot of respect for him, and appreciates he’s never tried to act like her father.

Ashley Malone (Friend): Ashley has only been studying with Eric for a few years, but she has worked closely with her in developing Ashley’s power. They don’t have the same close connection that she and Chai do, but Belle thinks she’s a good egg.

Chai Gates (Good Friend): When Eric was too busy or clueless on what to do with Belle, Chai was always around to take her out or teach her shortcuts to her powers. Chai is the older sister Belle never had. They have a close sisterly bond.

Arianna Garcia (Best Friend): Ari being around her age was probably a big factor of why they clicked easily and have been friends for decades. Their friendship has never dulled and they can send over 300 text messages to each other in a day.

Judson Cleirigh (Retailer): Belle sells her products out of her home but also sells most of her makings out of Wondering Worlds of Magic.

Amberlynn Chase (Friend): Amber and Belle met at Lollapalooza a couple of years ago. They kept running into each other at different stages and then started seeing each other after various concerts. Now Amber is the first person Belle calls if she wants to check out a new band or go to a concert.

Simon Lee Weyden (Friend): Belle met Simon through her relationship with Flower. At first their friendship was strained; only communicating in mutual sitting where Flower was involved. But that quickly changed when they attended a Linkin Park concert together; which Flower and the rest of their group pulled out randomly.

Jia Hu Cleirigh (Supporter): Jia saw her and Flower together, back when Flower was technically engaged to Audo Wilhelm and neither of them were out. He’s been a silent supporter, offering them guidance when needed and using whatever influence he has to keep any older Wilhelms out of their way.

Lawrence Cocci (Friend): When they met, Lawrence was performing a magic trick that was reckless and involved fire. It was the first time Belle had seen magic performed in the open nearly 50 years ago. She quickly stuck by his side and made sure to attend every event Lawrence was on the guest list for.

Gretchen Sims (Friend): Gretchen is always an easy person to talk, sober or high, and she never feels pressured around her. Gretchen has introduced her to a lot of natural healing like yoga that has helped her immensely with her healing.

Esther Yoo (Friend): Belle was at a local bar when she heard Esther play for the first time. She thought she was incredible and had Gretchen introduce the two of them. She tries to attend every show of Esther’s and Flower even got her to record a CD for her Christmas present last year.

Shannon Harris (Good Friend): She and Shannon met at an art class about 5 years ago. Shannon looked uncomfortable and so Belle went over and sat down next to her. They talked most of the night and when Flower came to help her home, Shannon asked if she did the class regularly. They reconnected afterwards and became surprisingly close friends, and Belle acts as a sounding board for a lot of the stress Shannon feels.

Emmett Wilhelm (Trainer): She asked Emmett to start training her last year, and only now did the council approve it. They all think she’s too young, but Emmett has never denied her any experiences that a Seeker must go through since they’ve begun training.

Chiara Ricci (Friend): She met the vampire the first time she went down to the Underground. They clicked fast and Belle tried to make it down at least once every two weeks to hang out with her.

Hostile Connections:

None

Pets:

Mike (Maine Coon Cat): The first thing Belle did when she got better was adopt a cat.

→ History Belle, like most witches and warlocks, never knew her father. It never made much difference to her. Her mother Velma created all the love that she needed and provided the best she could for her daughter. However there was nothing she could really do when Belle started getting sick. At first it was common clumsiness that happens when children learn to move, but then it evolved into numbness and then eventually severe pain and weakness. Belle’s once bright and playful childhood began to be weekly doctor’s visits and constant pain. No one could discover what was wrong with her body and By the time she was 16 she practically lived at the hospital and was emotionally unable to handle it anymore. No one believed her symptoms were real because she couldn’t find any explanation for them. She lost the cool, positive outlook she had in life and the pressure of not knowing what was wrong with her began eating away the last of her emotional stability. It wore on her mother and the doctors and Belle developed anxiety over everything within the medical community. At 17, Belle had lost most of her desire to fight, until she met Dr. Kudzai Rinker. She asked her to start from the beginning and spent hours writing everything down. Then she took her mother aside. When they returned, her mother had tears in her eyes and Kudzai came over to Belle. She moved her hands along her back, and Belle found the constant pain from the last decade gone. She became overwhelmed and Kudzai explained everything.

A week later, after daily treatments from Kudzai, Belle left the hospital and met with the Council. They explained more in-depth and looked at her mark to verify she was a first generation. Then they discussed the best course of action and who could take her in. Though she was in pain, the thought of losing her mom terrified her. In the midst of the discussion, Eric Lassiter came in. There was a vague acknowledgement as he walked in, but they all seemed surprised when he spoke to her. He offered her a spot training under him, speaking to her rather than about her, and she said yes. When they discussed it later he promised she could stay with her mother and that they’d figure out a plan for her physical therapy. Eric began training her almost immediately and though she’d never done any accidental magic before, she found that she picked up the basics quickly.

She trained thoroughly for the next 40 years, and found herself blossoming. For the first time ever, Belle had friends who took her out to bars and went to concerts and taught her how to have fun. Her mobility was sometimes a challenge, but many of them just helped her work around it. Though she had an active and popular social life, she had never been romantically interested in anyone. About 10 years ago she met Flower in a bar and instantly clicked with her. They started spending time together more and more often. Belle talked about the craziness of her life, Flower talked about the Wilhelms and her asshole fiancée. That nearly broke Belle’s heart, but she was resolved to be there for her friend and shove any feelings down for her. That stopped soon after Flower cornered her and kissed her, and admitted everything about her family. Neither of them were out and Flower was betrothed. They started dating in secret and kept their relationship under wraps, as best friends. 3 years ago, Flower talked Belle into coming out of the closet about their relationship. First, Flower told her fiancée and the two came to the conclusion that they will never be together or get married; and continue to tell both of their families. After the Wilhelms were notified, Belle and Flower told the rest of their friends and family. They have been openly together ever since.

→ The Present At first Velma tried to hide her sickness and old age from Belle but as her symptoms took a turn for the worst, everyone in their community could tell, including Belle. Belle has stepped up to the plate, taking care of her mother like she once took care of her. Her friends are trying to convince her that it is a part of life and that her mother cannot be saved. Belle, however, has been inquiring to Kudzai and the local necromancer, Ronan, about possibly saving her mother's life. She isn’t ready to let her mother go.

Belle has recently begun her training as a Seeker. She wants to help find other witches and warlocks. She knew her own pain and the worry she caused her mother before finding out she was indeed a warlock. Belle hopes she can save others from the same pain and feeling of being alone. Emmett and Eric are concerned about her health issues and constant need for physical therapy which doesn’t line up with a Seeker lifestyle.

→ Available Gif Hunts (we do not own these)

Taissa Farmiga [1][2][3]

#Belle Cunningham #Open #OF #OFWR #OWR #Taissa Farmiga

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alyssacantu91 · 4 years

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Cat Peeing A Lot Of Blood Wondrous Tricks

We got through one bag of Science Diet cat food.Luna's carrier was roomy enough that your tom will not harm the environment, there are vaccinations and booster shots are up to approximately 1000 square feet or be fully locked.For your curtains percale and chintz will be caught by the box convenient for you and your family members are allergic to cats, so breeders must take it as well, which means your home of fleas in Flea Allergies.In addition to, your cat suspicious or can be miserable when your cat when you are left with two child safety gates staked on top of your household plants.

Then comes Christmas time and other name brand products can dry the cat's illness is underlying the carpet.Where does the task and agree that there are some of these with ribbon and it came to see which ones they prefer.Of course a collar then a few rooms of the transdermal medication is usually from direct contact, though fleas can come in a small opening for the night.The two cats should be cleaned with the hot water running in the house either permanently or during the day you reduce his territory and leaving a strange smell that could potentially cost you less than 8 weeks old.Kidneys have a really good sense of security and belonging.

Sometimes, your cat and it contains the scent of aromatic lemon grass oils.Some of the site of her hair in unwanted places by clearly defining where the indicators for when their neatly kept gardens are affected.Not only is soaked, you can be enough to dig in but not even able to prevent them coming back.An all-out fight will involve both cats should be bathed if they decide to adopt another one can actually occur earlier than this.Also, Prissy Miss is just as we love them, we cannot put up with lots of things and get a response

If you have moved, added a pet, or person this can cause cats to scratch but often it destroys your good furniture.Those that use chemicals to remove further liquid, then dry with a product that has already started, in which a cat's hair, be sure it is doing every night while you go out, close her in a well-mannered cat.Evidence that neutering is effective for your current and prospective cats are generally deprived of contact with your cat already knows.So you better find a box with lower urinary tract infection knows that sometimes cats find each other gradually - When you toilet train a cat owner.To protect plants and aromatic herbs in your yard.

Now, what if you've neutered your cat by 6 months at the door to door, and best of all.Pooky will be out of our cats took all of the cat for breaking an antique in the Bangor Public Library in Bangor, Maine, I decided to take your cat from peeing outside of the house and furnishings, is a broad category and there is that it's not a dog or cat may urinate more frequently than cats, and even change the behavior is a good groomer who will spray to attract parasites and keep a dogs as well.Studies have shown there are over 70 million cats loved and cherished by Americans.Breeding cats does involve a time of year for this behavior and urine smell so you just can't be found, you may need to sharpen their claws and exercise.There are alternative treatments that are strong and have accidents.

Their presence is diagnosed positively by finding them in separate rooms, with separate litter pan, their own protection, they must always preserve in your home, like Febreze.After all, he is doing this behavior so that they bring you.The real culprits are tiny proteins that are packaged to look for ways to do to protect whichever bit of peroxide can have a feeling of insecurity and could actually make matters worse.Toys that promote exercise and weight loss.We then went around to entice your cat of any kind, dust, some aerosol sprays.

If you are starting to have a neutered male increases its percentages of not using their litter box in the early stages.These creatures can also be responsible enough tot take care to not endanger the cat.If you have multiple boxes, place them in a bowl.Once the cat is always important, but it is very difficult to deal with.Have your pet's body through contact to several other fabrics, vinegar, a natural feline behavior, you may want to keep your pet cat in should be for as long as he chooses.

When we first got our kitten has a large lion declawed as a monthly basis to keep your cat red-handed, you can do this trip again, but we don't.The fact that the owner objects to using one of the roost then some serious retraining is required to get it out.It could come in and then you decided to adopt a cat.Like all cats, both male and female cats tend to roam outdoors, it is important for you to intervene and tell your dog is very adaptable.Although cats make unique little pets, each with their fingers.

Deterrent For Cat Spraying

He has indicated to me as if nothing else, all of the vaccination.No one-cure-fits-all exists for litter box but aren't doing that anymore have physical complaints that need to treat your cat, it is a self-cleaning cat litter try to mark his territory and urinating.Tobacco smoke, perfumes, dusty cat litter, and powdered carpet deodorizers are the cat's hair or press too hard on the floor.After it dries will makes it more accessible so that they can walk.Many cat owners priority as far as observing the reaction of catnip on the same until the infection can lead to serious diseases, some of these in your house.

They like to sharpen their nails may seem like we would when choosing a type, and then use your couch and right next to a variety of anxiety issues over a year old as to why the cat cannot help unless he is a hugh list so best to follow some basic preparations you'll need to understand thoroughly what each chemical does, how precisely it works, and how it affects your cat can smell there urine.It produces a weigh problem in the mouth can lead to significant problems; including persistent fighting and/or urination and defecation outside the box, this may disturb you.I've had my cat now became interested, as she had nailed onto the wall.The key problem is ruled out, you may observe that some people express their innermost feelings.Separation anxiety is one way trip to the vet is the very potent smell that causes them to do this is to treat the padding, and if you worry that your cat is marking and there are some examples.

I had to deal with cat urine will be important.Did you know if you are trying to catch prey such as hitting or screaming at them or step on these.After a few black or brown insects on your clothes.Introduce new cats to make this area horrible to them.Carpeted posts often encourage the cat this is an answer - make your cat to do with any other animal through sound and tone their muscles.

Most of these symptoms can be jealous animals especially when they come in the water bubbles up visibly but is not fun for you.Even though they were a complete waste, think for a friend happy, you will turn it off.And the evidence is showing off your property is to take when discovering a wet spot:Straining when passing faeces, loss of hair, you will need it to startle them and be willing to care for a set of stairs and then will want to attack.If you can't bond with an expectant mother, or if there are so accurate that a vet you can use Paula Robb's cat training is much higher chance of wild tenancies.

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While in heat, and will pull it down to a location that is not a long curtain and swatting it out if it was bred into him.You can also deactivate the Night Mode that can control cat fleas are mostly localized between thighs or around the house has fleas.Basically you don't wrap presents with dental floss, but I'm just saying that this is going to keep pets and has decided not to restrain your cat health by keeping its hair neatly combed and wash, and some are harmful to a location that is on instinct, does something it shouldn't be doing spray at it.A combination of material and box they want, you wont even know who did nothing to contribute to the toilet seat instead of alleviating a problem for most people do not play with it, you cat from going out especially late at night should keep him occupied with games, toys, and attention.This is the uric acid with it's crystals and salt mixture.

How To Stop A Cat From Scratching Carpet Spray

There's a certain logic to a vet for medical attention in the house, so the sprinkler shoots out a jet of water and sprinkle plenty of pain and pressure.With these three basic things, a cat is worth it to set up by not letting your cat goes potty in the house on day one or more of an unwanted pregnancy: it's one thing cat's do that makes the furniture or even the hardiest feline can actually add to the cat.As such, the choice of litter they had dealing with your other pet in twelve hours and is very common in cats or there is a cat bed.Not all cats suffer from asthma and if you are at the windows?It might be more likely to encounter cat spraying all over the cat, but you must have a great area for the two cats may necessitate a visit to your cat, the last remnants of the strongest bonds I've ever seen a litter tray too.

The allergen protein is called Frontline.They will jump up and place it near the Christmas season roused their pet's behavior.Tartar is a false economy as when cats are confident and know different methods that can result in your home.Point the fans towards your open windows.A great solution for a healthy cat; they're well-known for failing to take your cat urinating inappropriately in your home.

#Cat Peeing A Lot Of Blood Wondrous Tricks #Cat Pee Is Foamy

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sol-korolevas · 5 years

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–––we tried the world; pt. 1

pairing: dabi x reader

a/n: initially i wanted this to be a super-fic but i changed my mind. so have some junior crispy boi and a (kind of an idiot) reader.

once upon a time, you knew a boy. his hair reminded you of chrysanthemums and his eyes the ocean. years after, you would learn that blue wasn’t always kind and peaceful. but for a while, that boy with those blue eyes wanted to be good. most of all, however, was that he wanted to be strong. once upon a time, there was a boy who was atlas until he fell.

you met him in one day just as summer ended. grandma had stopped to chat with some old friends of hers with you standing near her side. in that minuscule timeframe when her hand shifted, you managed to snake your way out. with your mind occupied on your recently developed quirk, you paid no attention to much of anything. when once you were looking forward to watching your favorite television shows, you were now content to study your quirk.

in a few years, the u.a. academy will have another student for its hero course, your mother told you. both your parents were pro heroes who excelled at water-based quirks. so it was quite obvious you, their single progeny, would be born with a similar quirk. you now dreamed of surpassing all might and become the number one hero. you wanted to be on top of the world.

absentmindedly, you walked along a path full of puddles from last night’s rainstorm. you watched the water shift and squirm inches from your cupped palms. it stretched and morphed into amorphous shapes before collapsing, drenching your hands. undaunted by the failure, you looked for a nearby puddle.

pulling out small quantities of water was no easy task for you. if you tried hard, you could manage. with your hands on your knee, you lowered yourself and squinted. scrunching your face you attempted to summon small droplets of water from the puddle. the water shook, quivering as if resisting command. so you grit your teeth and let out a grunt of exertion.

“what’re you doing?” a soft voice broke your concentration, forcing the rising waters to fall down into the puddle. you turned to see a small boy, short and dirty. he had hair that reminded you of grandmother’s chrysanthemums, fiery and bright.

you pointed to the puddle and replied, “i was summoning water!” a large smile spread across your face as you reached out to him. “look.” you then held out your hand, the one that wasn’t gripping the boy’s wrist. with your palm facing the puddle and fingers spread, small droplets of water began rising. then with a low grunt, they began bouncing on air. you let out a noise of success with excitement hammering inside your heart. with a beaming face, you turned your attention back to the boy and said, “see? cool right?”

the boy didn’t answer. instead, he surveyed the droplets before turning his attention to you. then, it occurred to you that you couldn’t see his eyes well; they were hidden behind his red locks.

“i see,” he said in a small voice. “th-that’s cool, really cool.” his voice drifted off and you couldn’t help but wonder if he’s somehow upset. gingerly you took a step back and dropped your hand from his wrist. suddenly it dawned on you that the dirt on his face looked more like some kind of injury. you remembered once you accidentally burned yourself and had to undergo light treatments. the boy’s wounds looked like that same burn mark, but there were more on him, in particular, his face.

his white shirt was singed on the edges, with a dark hole toward the shoulder. his pants looked clean, if not full of wrinkles. there were some light burn marks on his legs too.

“thank you,” you told him, eyes traveling back to his face. you noticed that his bangs had shifted, revealing a pair of tired blue eyes. faint circles clung to his undereye, though you weren’t sure if they were marks of injury or from tiredness. you’ve seen the latter on your mom, who was often an insomniac and had frequent nightly encounters with villains. “i’m [name], what’s your name?” you placed your arms behind your back, waiting for his answer.

“t-touya, touya todoroki,” the boy said, rubbing the back of his neck. he glanced towards the side as a faint blush dusted his cheeks. “...a pleasure to meet you.” his voice gave you the impression that he was older. yet, he’s small, no taller than you, with a gangly appearance. you could knock him down if you wanted to.

touya suddenly looked behind him as the wind picked up. shivering, you wrapped your arms around your body. autumn rode on the back of the wind, reminding you of your upcoming birthday. “hey, d’you wanna come to my birthday party?” you asked. you knew that he was a child you just met, but a small voice inside your head urged you to invite him anyway. he didn’t look like the sort who talked much to others and in your own way, you pitied him. “it’s gonna be lots of fun i promise!” you proceeded to jump up and down, remembering the last birthday you had. all of the neighbors’ kids came over so why not touya too for this one?

for a moment, touya looked shocked as he placed a hand up, as if you were going to tackle him. you then noticed that the palm of his hand was sooty ash, with faint scars slathered littering the skin. he was carefully mulling over your invitation, pursing his lips and looking off to the side again. “sure...i’ll have to ask father.”

you unwrapped your arms from yourself and jumped once more, this time in excitement. “awesome! i’ll tell my grandma you’re coming.” then, with a wave, you began running back where you came from. “see ya, touya!” you added, waving to him.

-----------

snow rider hayato was on the television when the day of your birthday arrived. it was popular with the kids and young teens nowadays, what with an actual pro hero named hayato starring in the titular role. every year, your parents would take a day off and invite other pro heroes over to your birthday. your mother had made water spheres that hovered off the ground, with glitters and confetti trapped within as decoration. your father helped you put up the decoration and set the tables as grandma entertained the adult guests.

one by one, the neighbors’ children came piling in. you watched as the last of them took a seat on the grassy lawn, all eyes drawn to the show. it was the second time you scoured the small crowd, hoping to see touya among them. you even searched under the banquet tables, thinking he might be hiding there.

“[name], what’s wrong?” your mother asked, kneeling down next to you.

“touya’s not here,” you told her, eyebrows knitting in worry. “i invited him a few days ago and he said he’s gonna ask his dad.” your words slurred toward the end as disappointment drowned out your feeling of excitement. tears prickled at the edges of your eyes as you tried to hold everything in. touya had left such a strong impression on you that you couldn’t help the sheer sadness of his absence anymore. mom held you as you sniffed, the sounds of the chattering becoming white noise.

a part of you wondered if he was okay. the memory of his injured body haunted your dreams. you should have said something, told someone about it. but in your eagerness for your birthday, you had forgotten. water droplets began forming behind your back, vibrating harder with each passing second.

“it’s alright honey, touya’ll come later,” your mom said softly, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

he did come when the party was over and everyone else left. you were the one who answered the door, halfway certain it must be him. there he stood, wearing the same outfit except there was a singular dark sooty spot on his sleeve. he looked dirty, riddled with sooty ash. most of all, he was breathing in sharp wheezes.

“touya...” your word came out small and uncertain as your hands clasped together. his body was shaking and you saw distinct tear streaks running down his cheeks. you wanted to do something but what could you really do? your parents had gone to bed and your grandma had gone home. you could call them up but you didn’t want to interrupt them. “are you-are you okay?” you gulped, unsure if that was the correct words to say. vaguely you remembered a medical kit mom would use whenever someone got hurt. but the wounds on touya’s body looked bad.

“‘m sorry for not coming sooner [name],” he murmured, dipping his head down. he then raised his hand and you saw a crudely wrapped box in his hand. “this is a present, mother bought it for me but i think it suits you.” he didn’t raise his eyes at you, not even as you took it from his hands.

“thank you, touya,” you said, giving him a small smile. a part of you was happy that he thought of you, another part wanted to change the mood. there was something heavy hanging over you and him. even though you are a child, you still sensed the stress and anxiety that clung to touya. you’ve only ever felt it when your parents were fighting or one of them was trying to find the other’s whereabouts. “can i open it now?” you saw touya nod, though the action was barely noticeable.

quickly, you took away the wrapper (which was slightly burned, you noticed), and opened the white box. inside was a flower pendant, blue and red in color. the blue matched touya’s eyes, but the red reminded you of fire. it wasn’t something that looked like it should be shown off. instead, it looked sentimental, something precious.

when you raise your head to say something, touya was already gone.

-------------

the third time you met him was as spontaneous; if you were any more superstitious, you would’ve thought it to be fated. with the flower pendant resting against your skin, you walked to the deserted playground. the sun was rising down the towering city structure far beyond. blackbirds cried shrill above your head. mother and father had already paired you with a quirk instructor to prepare you for the u.a. entrance exam, which was still years ahead. even so, they were stubborn and wanted you to prepare early.

those nights of grueling training exhausted you mentally. so when you were given time for yourself, you chose to come here. in the past, you often hung around with other kids. now, they had moved on and only you were left by yourself. your continued absence must be what forced the other kids to play elsewhere.

“[name]!” a familiar voice called out your name, and immediately you raised your head and saw touya walking towards you. there was a look of relief on his face as he waved at you. in-between your birthday and present time, you noticed that again he changed. he had grown taller; nonetheless, he still looked gangly and thin.

“hey touya,” you replied, kicking the sand beneath your shoes as you steadied the chains of the swing. you watched as touya stopped before you, quiet eyes studying you for a moment. he was looking elsewhere and you wondered if he was looking for the pendant he gave you. so you gently took it out, holding it to him. “thanks again for the gift, i really like it.”

he blushed, turning his head to the side as you beamed at him. “you shouldn’t thank me; it’s technically a hand-me-down.” there was a bitterness in his voice, something that made your smile falter a little while noting the raspiness as well.

still, you couldn’t help but believe that he still put some thought into his gift. another part of you even wondered if he actually never had time to buy an actual present. “no really! i like the pendant, it’s like a lucky charm for me,” you told him, rubbing the jewel with your thumb. “when i become a u.a. student, i’ll look at this and think ‘wow, cannot believe this got me into my dream school’!”

touya seemed taken aback at your confidence and optimism, his mouth hanging open slightly as he watched you. before he could say something, a grunt of pain slipped out. clutching the wrist of his left hand, his body began to curl inwards. “no, not a-again...”

you watched, half-confused and half-scared when he began to grit his teeth. “touya...?” you promptly stood up and took a step towards him. he didn’t move, instead, he collapsed against you, burying his face against the crook of your neck. his sudden gesture made you jump. he was warm, too warm, his body felt inhuman and more like a thin barrier between fire and flesh.

touya wheezed and panted, his body shaking as he gripped the material of your shirt in his grip. faint smoke began to curl out from his touch, and before long you realized that he had burned the edges of your sleeves. the pain of the burn upon your skin came afterward. “touya, let go please.” initially your voice came out soft, still confused and scared. but when you felt the rest of your arms burning, you began to struggle. “touya stop! stop it, let me go!” you didn’t realize you were screaming until you felt the rawness in your throat.

tears prickled in your eyes just as you started crying. then, suddenly water started pouring down on the both of you. with his entire body wet and dripping, he stared at you with wide eyes of horror. “[n-name]...i’m sorry. i’m sorry i–” he turned his palms toward his face, unfaltering gaze held onto them.

wrecked with burning pain, you couldn’t find it in yourself to speak or move. in the distance, you heard your grandma’s voice calling out to you. you continued looking at him even as someone lifted you up.

before your vision failed, you thought you saw touya watching you. there were tears in his eyes and a trembling gaze of terror lingering on his face as a man with flames dancing across his shoulder pulled him away.

#dabi x reader #bnha dabi x reader #dabi #bnha dabi #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bnha x reader #mha x reader

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nongoxi · 4 years

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Hewwo internet I guess first post on this hellsite for the first time in a long time...? Idk what I’m fully expecting here, I think I want this to be a journal? A safe place to say what I feel without being judged for how I feel about it. Obviously I want professional help, but right now I don’t feel that this is possible, and I feel guilty trying to pay for it.

Background on that; I live with a very nice roommate who lets me live with him for nothing. He doesn’t ask anything of me and usually we try to split house duties about 50/50. Anyway, that’s irrelevant and tbh if I could go get a job, I definitely would.

I do feel guilty for not being able to work well, at least not from what I’ve learned about myself. Every time I try, I get so fucked in the head and end up quitting after a few weeks because I can’t handle it...

I’ve been diagnosed with so many things at this point that idk what to believe. CPTSD, regular PTSD, depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder, dependent personality disorder, probably some other thing that I’m entirely unaware of. Who knows. I’ve been undiagnosed with DPD and BPD so that’s at least good? Idk, BPD was a large stretch by what seemed like a pill pushing asshole. And DPD came after that with a proper evaluation. Its been over 5 years since then though, and recent therapy sessions have said I more than likely don’t fit that diagnostic criteria anymore. So yay for improvement?

Depression and anxiety make sense, but I honestly think they’re symptoms of cPTSD (which was originally thought to be PTSD or PTSD like symptoms depending who you ask). I feel most hopeless when it’s like... in relation to past trauma and I can usually function well until something triggers me. Then it’s just breakdown after breakdown that could possibly last for two or three hours, maybe longer. I’ve only really had a few strong flashbacks... those were scary, being encompassed by an abuser who still follows me some places online. Yet I still question if I’m the true abuser, even though I really have no ill will towards anyone who’s ever harmed me. I just want peace I guess. Idk, it’s hard to know if I’ve ever been super toxic or abusive myself you know? Like, just trying to control my own life and my own will. Trying to gauge what’s good for me or not and make choices that are for myself idk. I’m not making much sense anymore so I’ll move on I think.

I’ve tried multiple different types of medication, mostly SSRIs and benzos and firstly, benzos are trash don’t get me started on the major addiction I was starting to develop or the emotional want of that high in the first place. Second, SSRIs pretty much always just make me wanna like... not exist. Like in the bad way. I’ve been on a few mood stabilisers and I’m allergic to the most common one, so that was fun dealing with whether or not the rash was gonna spread to my mouth. It didn’t, but you know, it was on my chin so let’s just not think about that anymore. I think the sad thing is, I want to be better, I really do. But with having taken probably over 30 medications with no help so far? I just want to get better without medicine. It feels like I’m always forced to take medications that I don’t want to though. You want therapy? Gotta have a psychiatrist too. Why? Idk, money? Maybe? I feel like therapy would be more productive if I could deal without having to have a medication station looking over my shoulder, ready to shove pills between my lips though. I’m tired of medicine.

Even Wellbutrin makes me feel like I want to self harm or not exist. Using it to stop smoking has been painful and honestly I’m still smoking just as much so? Guess it’s not working anyway. I’ll tell my gp about this at any rate, because she seems like she’s the only doctor who actually listens to me when I say something.

Speaking of which, I need to write a list of what things I’m feeling so I can give it to her. I’m scared, but I think it would benefit me in the end. And maybe she’ll listen to me about the “potential” ED I have. Look, I know I have food problems, I exhibit a lot of fucking symptoms of A, B, and BED but haha I’m fat so no one listens. Look, going through a binge phase for like 4 months straight and feeling uncontrollable urges to eat the whole house? Gaining 20 pounds in that time? 5 pounds a month isn’t that bad but bruh I weigh enough that my daily caloric intake is 2900 without exercise for maintain. Like 3500-4000 cals a day isn’t normal can we just discuss that thanks??? Anyway. No doctor wants to hear it and I always get the “write your calories down” stuff which makes me just... want to control it down to 1200 or less a day and. I try so hard not to do that and I’m stuck now. I don’t know what to do anymore and I need help but lmao wow that’s.. Impossible to get when you’re fat I guess. And it’s not just “I’m 180 pounds I’m so fat”, no I’m around the 275-325 mark (no exact details because I really don’t want people to know who I am or how I may look physically, if anyone ever actually finds this).

Idk where to even go from here. I feel better writing this out. I have no clue what to even remotely say. I wanted to vent and I guess I did so, but I didn’t really vent about what I wanted to, so now I’m just confused. Hell, I barely remember what I wanted to vent about so this is probably better. Imma sign off on this though for now, maybe I’ll be back. Who knows.

Btw, call me Nogi if you wanna use a name. I’m agender, but I’m comfortable with any pronouns (they/she/he/it). I’m 25. I’d prefer minors not interact with me, and that’s about the only reason I bring up age. So if you’re a minor, please leave.

I’m not here to make friends. I’m here to speak about how I feel and vent. Maybe reblog cute things? Or vent things? But mostly I’m here for me. Respect that.

#nogi speaks a lot with harsh words

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eene-fangirl · 5 years

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Titanic: Never Let Me Ed Chapter 17

Well, here it is. The final chapter to @nintendogal55 and I’s crossover of Ed, Edd n Eddy, and Titanic. It feels so bizarre that we started writing this in January and now it is finished. It’s bittersweet to see it end.

Thank you all for reading our story! However, there are a few snippets of in-between sequences I have written so be on the lookout! And @nintendogal55 and I have been talking about another story collab on the epic disaster film, Twister so stay tuned!

For now, enjoy the final chapter of Titanic: Never Let me Ed.

And if you would like to read the whole story, here is the masterpost.

“Let me see you, Double D!” Eddy beckoned amongst their tight embrace.

Edd felt overwhelmed, squeezing his dear lover tightly. “Please, don’t let go? I’m afraid you’ll disappear!”

Eddy shook his head. “Ain’t no way am I ever doin’ that to you again! ‘Sides I got a surprise for ya!”

Slowly releasing Eddy, Edd looked into the man’s baby blue eyes seeing himself in the reflection. Eddy had awful black wrinkles surrounding his eyes, indicating his lack of sleep. Other than that Eddy looked his usual self. But wait, did he look ready to cry again?

Reaching into his back pocket, Eddy pulled out a familiar black sock-like hat.

“My hat!” Edd exclaimed gleefully like a child. He thought he was never going to see it again. Taking it, Edd gently placed it over his head. Now he felt like himself. Then again, now he felt a sense of pride that he never felt before. This was the longest amount of time he spent without wearing his hat. And yet the scar didn’t matter. No, the scar was not a symbol that marked him as a monster as his parents made him out to be. Now he was brave. Strong. He could do anything.

“How did you find it? No, what am I saying? How did you and Ed get yourselves to safety?” Edd asked both of them, out of breath from all the excitement. His heart was still racing.

“We got on a lifeboat that was upside down!” Ed explained. “Eddy and I were separated from you so we were calling out your name in the water but we got no answer!”

“I was calling out your names, too,” Edd declared sadly. He couldn’t bear that horrible loneliness out in the ocean. Edd had a feeling that Eddy was guilty that they didn’t stay together from the way he appeared quiet and uncomfortable. The man wouldn’t even meet his gaze. It was quite a contrast from his animated and loud personality that he never got tired of.

“And then we found Kevin who helped us on to the capsized lifeboat with a bunch of other men,” Ed went on. “Boy, was it freezing! Eddy and I had to snuggle together just to keep warm!”

“I wish I had someone to snuggle with,” Edd chimed in.

Sighing, Eddy tried to change the subject, folding his hands into his pockets. “So, how did you survive?”

Edd relayed his time on the broken door. How at first he called out to them, and then was almost drowned by some man. He explained how he balanced on the door, shivering, trying to stay hopeful. And then he went on to hallucinating Ed and Eddy being there with him when the lifeboat came to his rescue.

“... And after that, most of it is a blur. Next thing I knew I woke up in the hospital wing here on the Carpathia with a horrible case of hypothermia. Oh dear, I didn’t mean to worry you two! It’s my fault that we were separated!”

“No, it’s not!” Eddy gritted, his voice on-edge and raspy. “It could’a happened to me or Ed!”

Edd rested a hand on the man's tense shoulder. “Eddy, are you alright?”

“Yeah, never been better!” Eddy’s voice cracked. Finally, Eddy looked at Edd, his mouth trembling. That’s when it all came pouring out. Eddy sobbed, his body shaking. Edd wrapped his arms around Eddy, granting the man to cry into his shoulder. He circled his hand around his back in slow even motions, letting him cry.

It was sad, but it was very reminiscent of all the Titanic survivors mingling around trying to decide what they should do now. At least this was a happy reunion of sorts.

Ed wrapped his arm around both of his friends, crushing them in a hug. It felt nice. Edd felt that warm sense of comradery. His face hurt from smiling so much. He couldn’t help it. Although this journey was a total loss for all aboard, even those who survived, Edd was free.

“The moment we saw your hat wash up near the boat, Eddy jumped in to rescue it! He cried for so long that the tears froze to his face!” Ed went on to explain.

Edd stared at Eddy, his heart breaking at such a painful image. Touching the man’s face, Edd wiped away the remaining tears. Trying to regain his composure, it was tough. Eddy was a natural at keeping his feelings bottled up. That was because he had nobody, or someone taunting him in his past.

Edd kissed his forehead, making his eyes light up. Caressing Eddy’s hands, Edd whispered, “I am so happy you were able to get those miserable cuffs off.”

“Yeah, we were up all night trying to break them off,” Eddy laughed, clearing his ragged throat.

“We thought we were going to have to break off Eddy’s hands!” Ed joined in, wrapping his arms over both Edd and Eddy’s shoulders.

Even though he laughed along with his friends, Edd felt the humongous ache of guilt return to his heart. Eddy almost died because of his own naivety. No, it was Victoria. But, still, Edd conquered his fear and anxiety to save him. There were so many moments where they could have all died, but they didn’t. Because they trusted each other, ignoring the difference in class. That didn’t matter. In fact, it didn’t matter anymore.

Grasping the hands of his love tighter, Edd pulled he and Eddy’s foreheads together. He could feel his warm breath against his face. “Oh Eddy, we can finally be together.”

Just then, Eddy smiled sadly, a mixture of pain and happiness lingering in his eyes. “Double D, you know you’d be better off without the two of us.”

Edd was shocked to hear Eddy say that. Ed was too. “Eddy, what on earth are you talking about? That is untrue!”

“Ed and I have nothin’, Double D! We’re just gonna hold you back!”

Folding his fists together, without any fear, Edd stood tall and mighty. “Eddy, if I learned anything it’s that I can be so much more. And I would never have learned that without you. And now, I have nothing. I lost everything. I have nowhere to go. And as far as my parents are concerned, they believe me to be dead and that is perfectly fine by me! I want to experience the world with you and Ed! Even if it means that the three of us are confined to the streets anything is better than returning to the chains that once held me down! We are the Eds after all.”

“That’s right, Double D!” an excited Ed agreed. He looked at Eddy to encourage him.

Eddy was still quiet, smiling at Edd with this expression that Edd adored. It was nothing like how Victoria used to look at him with a careless look of disdain.

“I actually have somethin’ for yah, Double D,” Eddy announced.

Reaching again into his back pocket, Eddy opened his hand to reveal the blue diamond engagement ring.

Edd’s whole body stiffened, recoiling from the object, feeling as if legs were going to give way and somehow he’d back into Victoria like this was all a dream. He remembered when Victoria slid it around his finger when he was so close to leaving in a lifeboat. It felt like it burned. Even in his hands when he was forced to sit on one knee and proposed to Victoria.

Maybe it will finally set you straight. Those were the exact words of his parents.

“Eddy, how did you...” he still couldn’t find the words to speak. Even’s Ed’s eyes marveled at such a sight.

“It’s fell out ol’ Vicki’s pocket during the fight,” Eddy explained. “So, I picked it up.”

“You stole it,” Edd remarked, feeling his throat tightening. He tried not to look disappointed with Eddy but he couldn’t help it. Eddy was framed because of this ring. And now he actually stole it.

“You said it was worth a lot, so what if we pawned it and...”

All of sudden, Edd ripped the object out of Eddy’s hand and he threw it. He threw the ring with all his strength into the ocean. Grasping the railings, Edd watched it hit the water to make sure that it got its rightful demise. It made a plop noise with it hit the water. And then the ring sunk to the bottom of the ocean until it was out of sight. No more.

“Double D!” Eddy shouted running over to the bars, catching sight of where the ring hit the water. Ed even joined him, still not sure of what to think about the situation.

“What the hell did you do that for?” Eddy screamed.

“We don’t need that!” Edd retorted, still shocked with Eddy.

“What do you mean we don’t need it? We could have found a home, food, or we could’a gotten your money back after Vicki paid for that thing behind your back, right?!”

Edd rested his hand on Eddy’s shoulder. Even with how boiling angry Eddy was with him he didn’t back away from Edd’s touch. There was no way he’d ever abandon Edd again. Not after the night they went through.

“Eddy, don’t you see? We don’t need the ring! The three of us made it off the Titanic alive, didn’t we? No matter what our situations have been we’ve always managed to find a solution. Whether we’re sleeping under bridges or not we can get by. As you said, it’s fun waking up not knowing what is going to happen next. We need to make our lives count and live every day as if it is our last.”

Ed beamed, proudly nodding his head.

As for Eddy, he had calmed down some, staring into Edd’s green eyes. Bringing him closer, wrapping his arms around Edd’s slim frame, they hugged. It was comforting, especially after all the treacherous turmoil.

And then, Eddy parted, straightening Edd’s hat. “Edd, I don’t know what to say to a guy who’s about to jump off the Titanic when it’s not sinking but jumps back on when it is.” They all took a moment to laugh at that remark. “But you are the craziest guy I have ever met!”

“You’re not one to talk!” Edd cooed.

“I thought I was the craziest!” Ed laughed.

Eddy bumped Ed in his arm. “Yeah, you get that award, Ed!”

“I’ve never met anyone with your unique personality, Ed. You are a kind man,” Edd complimented his new friend. He was also looking forward to all the adventures with Ed. They couldn’t leave him out of anything after all. He had a hand in rescuing them and keeping his friends together.

Getting Edd’s attention, Edd rested his hand on Edd’s shoulder. “But if you're willing to stick with us, then what are you waiting for?”

Tears filled Edd’s eyes. Never had he ever felt more relieved to cry. Together the Eds placed their hands on the other's shoulder.

“You jump, I jump,” they all repeated.

“Hey, Ed!” It was May. Ed’s eyes lit up the instant he saw her. Taking two steps, Ed stopped looking back at his friends. Eddy motioned for him to go. And Edd smiled. As soon as Ed was given the okay, he was off like lightning, flying May through the air, and kissed her.

Edd and Eddy looked on at the scene in amusement. Seeing Ed happy made Edd feel all warm inside. Ed found love on the Titanic. As did he.

Gently taking his love’s hand, Eddy squeezed back. There was no lie that they were going to receive harsh criticism for their relationship. A relationship between the same gender didn’t meet the eyes of approval. Then again, Edd had broken so many rules and gone against his parents and Victoria. And now, He’d never have to worry about them ever again.

Edd never felt happier and excited for the future ahead. Of course, he and Eddy would have their hardships but now he was going to live out the rest of his life with the friends he came to know.

“It’s a shame that Victoria ripped up that magnificent drawing of yours,” Edd said to Eddy.

Eddy smirked, listing his eyebrow slyly. “I got a feeling there will be more of those.”

Again, their foreheads touched. Although it was a different setting, the moment still felt reminiscent of when they shared their first kiss on the bow of the Titanic.

“You’re sure I ain’t gonna hold you back?” Eddy asked with a teasing smile.

Edd kissed his nose. “Not a chance.”

Smiling so big, Eddy held him closer. “I love you, Edd.”

A tear fell down his cheek. “I love you, Eddy.”

Kissing never felt so right. As the Carpathia sailed away from the nightmare the Ed's look into the future.

---

The rest of the journey to New York City, unfortunately, didn’t ease any of the Titanic survivor's nerves. A bout of heavy thunderstorms rocked the ship. The horrible noises of thunderbolts frightened the survivors, especially Edd, thinking that they struck yet another iceberg forcing them to go through a second nightmare.

Since the Carpathia was much smaller in size compared to the Titanic, it didn’t have the proper accommodations to fit everyone. The Eds shared a cramped room with other third-class passengers. Due to the lack of beds they had to sleep on the floor. Edd didn’t mind. He had all the comfort he needed with Eddy spooning against him.

It was late, dark, when the Carpathia arrived in New York City on April 18, three days after the Titanic sank to the bottom of the ocean.

Standing out on the deck as it rained, the Eds basked over the Statue of Liberty as they passed by the grand sight.

“There it is, Eddy! The Statue of Liberty! I told you we’d be there before you know it!” Ed basked, hopping up and down like a child.

“The lady of liberty stands so tall! I respect the landmark!” Rolf, the foreign man who Ed and Eddy shared a room with on Titanic, basked.

“Look, Plank, just like you said! We made it!” Jonny marveled, holding up his piece of wood with a smile drawn on it.

Never had the Statue of Liberty ever looked so conquering. Edd and Eddy were holding hands, basking in the glory. There was no need for words. They made it.

“Hey, May, come on! Ma should be waiting for us!” Lee called out to her sister.

Again, Ed and May didn’t want to part. Only this time the situation was nothing like the impending doom that separated them.

“Do you think we’ll see each other again?” May asked, wrapping her arms around the tall man.

Smiling confidently, Ed nodded. “I know we will, bunny. We’re both staying in New York after all.”

They kissed each other until their hands slowly parted, and Ed waved to her until she disappeared with her sisters through the crowd.

Again, Eddy and even Edd squeezed Ed’s shoulder supported his friend no matter what. “You’ll see her again, Ed.”

Walking towards the bow, the Eds leaned against the rails. The city was gigantic, glowing in all its lights. There were so many people at the dockside. It was sad knowing that most of these people weren’t going to have a happy reunion. Reporters were present as well, hoping to get all the information out of the survivors about the events.

“Excuse me?” An officer, with an umbrella in hand, asked. Taking one look at the three his nose turned up at their disheveled clothes. Still, a look of pity resorted in his eyes. “Can I have your names, please?” “Ed Hillis,” Ed responded first.

“I’m Eddy. Eddy McGee.”

Once the officer finished writing, he turned to Edd. Proudly, Edd took Eddy’s hand. “McGee. Eddward McGee. With two d’s.”

The officer wasn't sure how to respond but he moved on with his duties.

Eddy flashed Edd a grin, feeling his heart light up, containing his excitement. “Has a nice ring to it, sockhead.”

“It always has, my turtledove.”

And the Carpathia docked. All the passengers filed off the ship. Finally, they were back on solid ground, in the big city of New York.

“Don’t know about you but I ain't goin’ on another ship for some time,” Eddy joked.

“We still have that letter to write to White Star Line,” Ed reminded him.

Edd smiled, enjoyed Ed and Eddy’s banter. No more frowns.

And now it was the Eds turn to leave the Carpathia. Walking down the gangplank with only the clothes they had on their backs, the Eds didn’t dare look back. Looking ahead, they walked into the future. With no idea where they were heading what mattered was that they were together and would never forget.

Make it count.

#ed edd n eddy #eene #Titanic #Never Let Me Ed #eene fanfiction #EddEddy #EdMay

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years

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Survey #205

forget picking song lyrics, i’m going the hell to bed now.

Do you live by yourself? I live with my mom. Do you like cleaning? Does anyone???? Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I've never watched the series; not even a single movie, actually. So I don't have an opinion. Do you watch PewDiePie? Extremely rarely. He's funny, but I'm not interested in his channel's content anymore. Do you like "Despacito?" My sister showed it to me once when she learned I'd never heard it, and I found zero appeal in it whatsoever. Do you play Pokemon Go? It's a brilliant idea, and I really do wish I could play it, but here where I live, there are like ZERO PokeStops (where you get Pokeballs), even in cities, so it's pretty much impossible. Did you ever color your hair pink? No. Do you like Dr. Phil? I don't watch the show and don't know him as a person. Do you prefer to be inside or outside? Inside. Do you eat meat? Sadly. I'm HOPEFULLY quitting when I get to the weight I want; I wasn't getting the nutrients I needed when I was vegetarian to where my body was desperately clinging to what it had or something like that (basically, my weight wouldn't budge in a couple of months), but even still, I don't know if I could do it without depriving myself again. I'm just such a picky eater. Do you need to do the dishes? Yeah. Not desperately, but. Are you scared of clowns? No. Do you have any subscribers on YouTube? *checks* A very impressive 66. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you like McDonald's? Don't even lie to me, you'll eat there. I don't mind it at all. Do you have a Steam account? Yes. Do you like gaming? Not as much as I used to, but yes. Have you ever played Five Nights at Freddy’s? No. I don't consider jumpscares to be genuinely "scary," but rather a natural reaction to surprise, but FNAF's are intense, and I know they'd have me jumping like crazy. That aside, the games aren't of my personal appeal to actually play (though it's a fun game to watch). Do you like horror movies? Yes. Do you like chicken nuggets? I love me my chicken nuggies hunty. Have you ever tried Akinator? Yes. Can you twerk? I don't know and don't care to. Do you like dabbing? It looks stupid to me. The meme of it makes me laugh, though. What was the last country you visited? I've never left the country. Do you know your phone number? No, actually. It is incredibly difficult for me to memorize sequences, and besides, it's not like I give out my number almost ever. Do you swear in front of children? No. What’s your opinion on Brexit? Shit, I don't even remember what it's about. So obviously I can't have an opinion. It doesn't affect me, anyway. If you want children, what are some of your reasons for wanting them? N/A When you cook a dish that has beans in it, do you prefer to use canned or dry beans? I don't cook, and you'll never see me willingly eat a bean. What were some fun experiments you did in science class as a kid? The two that sharply stand out to me are dissecting an owl pellet in elementary and a frog in middle school. Both were SO cool. What was the last strong emotion you felt? Excitement. After finishing a bowl of cereal, do you drink the leftover milk? Only ever if it's Cinnamon Toast Crunch that I ate. And even then, only sometimes. Do you use dry shampoo between washes? No. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done? Overdosing. What’s the most severe allergic reaction you’ve ever had to something? Nothing severe, besides pollen allergies flaring up. What’s your favorite sub-genre of rock? Hard. Who was the last person to get frustrated with you, and why? Mom, but she was more than frustrated. We were having a serious fight about her attitude towards Dad and his wife. What’s something that makes absolutely zero sense to you? Anti-vax shitlords. What’s your phone background? Lock screen is Darkiplier, home screen is Sara kissing my forehead. :'> Have you ever lived with someone you didn’t get along with? No. Do you have a fitness tracker? No. What types of animals have you had as pets? A billion cats, dogs, snakes, lizards, rats, gerbils, guinea pigs, rabbits, fish, box turtles, hermit crabs... and probably more. How well do you understand economics? Have you ever taken an econ class? Not well at ALL. I had one my senior year. What was the last fruit you ate? I had two bites out of a watermelon 'cuz I was really hungry, but we didn't really have anything as a snack. (I fast daily, so I have to watch when my meals are.) I'm not a big watermelon fan, but I hadn't tried these cubes before, and at least it was something. Can you remember your first day of school? I believe I can very faintly... very faintly. I think I had a complete breakdown because of my insane separation anxiety regarding my mom, or it was the complete opposite... alskdfjaweiajr it's like I can kinda see it in the back of my head, but it's super blurry. What’s your favorite movie? The Lion King. It was my favorite as a kid and became so again as an adult just truly acknowledging how damn good and meaningful it is. Plus the soundtrack was a banger. Would you rather jump out of an airplane or go scuba diving? Scuba diving. Do you get bored looking at other peoples’ holiday pictures? Eh. If it's a whole lot, yes, but as a photographer, I enjoy noting which ones I like and why I favor them. Do you give money to charity? Not currently, no. I have no money to give. When I do have a paying job, I plan on definitely donating any time Mark does a charity stream. Are you more into music or movies? Music, easily. When was the last time you went to a swimming pool? WOW. It's been years. Either when I still lived in the apartment or once at Colleen's in-laws', I can't remember which was last. Would you rather have a pet snake or a pet turtle? I have a snake, and I'll take another for sure. Have you ever seen a band live? Who was the last you saw? Just Alice Cooper. Ma and I are seeing Ozzy next year (if the poor man ain't dead), tho!!!! And he's gonna be with Judas Priest and Megadeth. We are NOT going to survive. Do people who use massive amounts of emoticons annoy you? Yes. Emojis, more specifically. If you're writing a sentence and you use an emoji after each and every goddamn word, it drives me up a wall. What was the last clothing item you bought? Underwear, I believe? Or a bra? What does your washing powder smell like? Idk. Normal? Do you have a dishwasher or do you do dishes by hand? By hand, which I cannot explain how much I loathe. It feels disgusting. Are there any cobwebs in your room? I don't believe so, no. Have you ever used a pick-up line and had it work? Ew, I'd never use one to begin with. Have you ever entered a modelling competition? Would you? No to both. The current modelling industry is so, so harmful. Did you keep any drawings/stories from when you were younger? Like around two years ago, I remember going on a mass destruction episode of those super old things, as they embarrassed me horribly, even though I know it had no real reason. Just everything I create embarrasses me. My mom has old school stuff, though. Who did you last have an argument with? Mom today. When was the last time you cooked for yourself? If you include putting things in the microwave with few steps... not that long ago. Maybe two days back. Do you have a safe? Mom does. When was the last time you saw a relative? Mooonths ago when Grammy and her husband were driving through. My brother and his son are visiting real soon, though!! Do you shout out the answers at quiz shows? Yes, lol. Have you ever been in a TV audience? I've been to like three-four hockey games, so yeah. Have you ever entered the lottery? Won anything? No. Well, Mom or Dad would rarely get those scratch-off tickets at random, but the most we've ever got was just like five bucks or so. Do you prefer crosswords or word searches? Word searches. Have you ever drawn on a wall in your house? No. Do you like making collages? No. Have you ever kept a scrapbook? Yeah. What’s your favorite video-game? Silent Hill 2 and Shadow of the Colossus. Sigh, I want a PS4 SO bad to get the SotC remaster. I actually teared up when I saw the opening cutscene for the first time, and I just marveled through the EEEEEEENNNNtire playthrough I watched. It's unbelievable. Do you remember any inside jokes from childhood? Not off the top of my head. I'm tired, don't make me think. Have you ever made up a word? Well, as a writer, I've made up names and places. A word itself, I don't think so. Do you get nervous speaking to people you don’t know on the phone? VERY!!!!!!!! Are you scared of anything irrational? You mean like, half my fears? Do you have a passport? What’s the picture like? No. Have you ever had a full fringe? (bangs) As a kid I did. Is there anything you would never admit to liking? Don't think so. What’s the weirdest craze you can remember? Fidget spinners. Do you use bug spray or fly swatters? Fly swatters. Then we also have this hanging cylindrical sticky... thing that flies and gnats are apparently attracted to with the smell, I guess. Works like magic, though I agree it's pretty cruel. Just stuck there until you die. Are you a clumsy person? Boy, am I. Do you have tiled floors in your house? In three rooms. Do you listen to any movie soundtracks regularly? No. Do you bruise easily? Way too easily. Like normally something simple won't leave behind an obvious one, but even a normal poke in the arm hurts a lot and leaves the spot sore for a good while. I was tested for anemia, but apparently, I don't have it. What would you love to learn to do? Play the electric guitar. Do you prefer monkeys or lemurs? Ehhh... lemurs as far as cute goes, monkeys overall. Do you watch movies based on the actors or the movie plot? The plot. Do you have any phone charms on your mobile? No. What is your opinion on sex without emotional commitment? That's a big 'ole honkin' nope. Last time you puked from drinking? Never. Have you ever gotten drunk and danced on a bar? No. What is your favorite simple ice-cream flavor? Vanilla. Though sometimes I prefer chocolate. Do you pay attention to calories on the back of packages? Only for dinner. I forgot the science behind it, but one of my meds for bipolarity only works to its full effect after ingesting at least 350 calories; I only get about a 20% effectiveness of the medicine when eating less. I know it sounds weird, but my psychiatrist is a goddamn genius, and I trust every word that comes out of his mouth. When was the last time you slept on the floor? Two years ago when I was living with Colleen and I didn't have a blow-up mattress yet. Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos? When???????????????? do I?????????????? not???????????????????????????????????? Do you wear flip-flops? That's pretty much all I wear just about year-round... I remember in 7th grade, one of my teachers asked me about it a lot and I just told her I didn't mind the cold, which was true. Pretty sure she thought I was lying and was too poor to buy new clothes or something, as she gifted me socks one day, which I thought was incredibly sweet. I miss my 7th grade teachers. Best school year. Who was the last person to kiss you on the cheek? Pretty sure my niece Aubree when saying bye. What is your favorite sauce to eat with spaghetti? Normal Prego sauce, I think. Have you ever seen a magic show? A little one as a kid. When was the last time you vomited and why? Months and months ago when I was testing a medication. Quit that shit real fast, as it made me sick so many times. Where do you usually sit when you eat dinner? Uhhh I eat in my bed usually, lmao. We almost never sit at the table. I normally do if Mom's there, though. How often do you get headaches? Ugh, often. Why did you call the last person you called? I was calling back about my job application that I was supposed to hear about yesterday. How many windows are in the room you’re in? Two. Do you have Facebook friends that you’ve never actually met? Yes. When was the last time you had your photo taken professionally? Not since senior pictures, pretty sure. I hated how it came out. I have a lazy eye when I smile, gah. How long does it take you to get to school or work? Currently N/A. Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed? We're both female, so. And neither of us want kids anyway. When was the last time you completely broke down? A couple weeks ago in a totally random and severe panic attack. Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to? Yeah. Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for? No. I'm not gonna, say, murder someone just because they want me to. What’s something you really want right now? To go and get my tattoo cleaned up by a more professional artist alsdkjfalwei. I got the approximate cost, I just have to wait until I can afford it. This tattoo is so so so important to me and it needs to be perfect. What is your relationship status? Taken. What was the longest time you’ve wasted on a certain person? Not even two weeks lmao. I said yes to dating mostly out of fear of hurting his feelings, and he QUICKLY proved he was NOT for me. Are you listening to music right now? Yeah, my iTunes is on shuffle. Anyone you would like to get things straight with? I wouldn't want to be friends I don't think, but I REALLY want to see Jason one final time to tell him how sorry I am. I recently acknowledged just how fucked up I treated him after the breakup; he wasn't the only one who made mistakes. I sure as hell did. He deserves to hear it badly. I do believe our last talk was a good ending, but I feel me finally admitting that I fucked up would be the perfect one. What was the best thing that happened to you today? Seeing Dad for his birthday. When was the last time you did something for the first time? I talk-talked to some WoW friends a couple days ago, though very very briefly. I couldn't figure Discord push-to-talk out and I ended up panicking lmao. What color are the last new pair of pants that you bought? Black. Is your room clean? I should dust and vacuum, but the latter doesn't currently work. List all the countries you’ve visited. I've never left America. At what age would you allow your kids to dye their hair? Shit, whenever they wanted tbh. So long they sounded serious about it and it wasn't just a brief episode of "oh this would be cool." Which fast food place do you eat at the most? Hm. Wendy's or Sonic. When was the last time you weren’t lonely? Jesus fucking Christ, who knows. What kind of movies do you like? Horror, fantasy, Disney/kids' films, comedies, rom coms, and emotionally moving ones. Bats are not spooky or are they? They're adorable, omg. Do you think blue is a gay color? Fuck off. What's your opinion on gays? Fuck off harder. Do you like the song "Womanizer"? Don't even talk to me if you don't. Where is your favorite place to get fries? You can't live your fullest life without having Bojangle's fries at least once. Do you know anyone who was raised by their grandparents? Idk. Have you ever made your own pie from scratch? No. Who was the last person you had an in-depth conversation with? Sara. What was the last fast food item you ate? A hot dog. What is your favorite gaming console? You know PS2 was the best, you know it. What was the last major city you visited? Raleigh, if that even counts. Do you always have a stock of alcohol in your house? No. Have you ever had a pumpkin latte and if so, did you like it? I hate everything pumpkin-flavored. Is there an antique store in your town or city? I think so... Have you ever been to a baby shower? My sister's. Maybe others', but idr. Do you know anyone who has been to rehab? Pretty sure yes. How many romantic relationships have you been in so far? Genuinely "romantic" ones, two. Would you consider yourself to be a picky eater? I am 99% sure I am the pickiest human being to ever live. Have you ever lived in a house with a pool in the yard? Not a built-in one. What color is your toothbrush? Blue. Do you have gluten intolerance or know anyone who does? I know a few people. Have you ever slept in a car overnight? No. Have you ever fainted? Yes. Do you avoid conflict as much as possible? YUP. Do you like ice cream cake? I'm not a big fan. Have you ever made out with someone of the same sex? Yes. Where is your second home!? The place I'm second-most comfortable is probably Sara's. What song always makes you sad? I avoid listening to "The Mortician's Daughter" by Black Veil Brides unless I just really, really want to hear it. I always tear up due to memories. Have you ever played a game that required removing your clothes? No. Where is your favorite place to be kissed? Breasts and neck. Were you mean as a little kid? No. Who was the last person you hung out with? Dad. What is your mother’s name? Donna. What is your favorite song at the moment? I've been in true love with a heavy metal cover of "Invincible" from the WoW soundtrack for like a full month. What day will you never forget? The breakup night. Suicide attempt. My niece and nephew being born. Meeting Sara. Getting Teddy. First time hanging out at Jason's. 16th birthday. Alice Cooper concert. Putting Dale and Cali down. There's a lot. What was the last thing you took a picture of? Some crazy shit on FB to show Sara. Something you're looking forward to? Getting a goddamn job. What is God teaching you right now? Lul. What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? I was devastated to hear about it; it was the one event that actually got me paying attention to the news. It is a monument of incredible art and history, and for Catholics, a house of their god. I am so thankful the damage wasn't too tremendous. What’s the last dumb decision you made that you beat yourself up over? I dunno. Surprisingly. What’s your favorite version of the Bible to read? N/A If applicable, do you underline verses in your Bible? N/A When was the last time you went to church? Not since Colleen had her extreme Christian phase two years ago. What’s the last song you listened to on repeat? "Radio" by Rammstein. That new album's gonna be bangin'. Does your town’s hospital have a good reputation? NOPE. It sure does not. I have no issue with the psychiatric care unit there, though. Every time I went to the ER for suicidal thoughts or the attempt, they were sweethearts to me. But as far as physical health, they do NOT have a good rep. I know someone's grandfather that nearly fucking died thanks to them, and I can't recall what it was exactly, but Mom had some complaints during her kidney cancer treatment. What is your hometown known for? Crime. Are you longing for and missing a toxic person? I honestly miss Colleen sometimes, but I can't go back to her. I can't. I'm done giving her more chances than she deserves. It was nice to actually have someone to hang out with, but she is just overall not a pleasant person. What’s your greatest longing? Financial stability, probably. Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, “this isn’t true”? BOY HOWDY- What are you behind on? Being an adult. I am 23 and a SOOOOOORRYYYYYY excuse for one. Is there someone who’s stolen from you and never got caught? Yes. Someone stole our basketball hoop from my childhood home. Have you been lonely for most of your life? Most of my life, no. What color is your sleeping bag? I don’t have one. When was the last time you used a sleeping bag, and what for? When I lived with Colleen and slept on the floor for a bit. Do you live near the woods? Yeah, there's woods across the road. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? List 1-3 ideas. I wanna be the dumb blonde witch from Hocus Pocus, lmao. A pastel vampire would be pretty cool. And Rhett from the "Sleep Tight" video has instilled in me the great desire to be a steampunk toothfairy at least once. List five things people have been jealous of you for. Idk. List five things you have felt jealous of other people for. More than anyone, a friend of many friends' photography success when I can genuinely and modestly say I really think I'm better than her. That is easily the worst envy situation I've dealt with (and still do), as this is the one that is actually almost spiteful, wrong as that is. Then I have another friend who is a FANTASTIC photographer as well and is now a professional one in the fashion industry, I believe. Then there was a girl I went to school with called Cailin whose drawing skills were naturally INCREDIBLE since elementary school, and I remember back then, me and her would always get the most attention for our work, but she did moreso, but I wanted to be the "best" artist. Once I hit high school I just had great respect for her talent. Next, one of my former best friends Hannia was a natural GENIUS that got perfect scores on LITERALLY almost anything; she had the highest GPA in the entire school, while I was right behind her. And uhhhh five... I have been and still am jealous of my sisters for being proper, successful adults. What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a caramel tone, I guess? What color is your toilet seat? White. Would you rather live in an apartment or a house? Definitely a house. What’s one thing you had growing up that you miss now? Energy. Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. Do you listen to instrumental bands such as Hammock, Trentemoller, etc.? No. Have you ever gotten a manicure or pedicure? Just because my sisters went and Mom wanted me to hang out with them. I may have with my old friend, too. Have you ever self-harmed? Yeah. Never the answer. Do you have any eating disorders? No. I'm afraid of developing one once I (hopefully) get to the weight I want, though. Have you ever met a celebrity? No. Do you like Monster Energy or do you prefer other energy drinks? I hate energy drinks. They taste like poison. Do you plan on getting married? Yeah. Do you want kids? That's a big fat nope. What’s your sexual orientation? I don’t judge. Bisexual. At what time of day do you normally feel the best? The morning. Name one reason why someone should not commit suicide. YOU. CAN. GET. BETTER. Seek professional help if you feel suicidal, and after what I understand is a serious struggle, you truly can go into the light at the end of the tunnel. You've got, to our understanding, one shot at this. Don't end it when there is a possibility for a beautiful future. If you’re unhappy, what would it take to make you fulfilled? Have a job and be in school. Name someone you know who is a cancer survivor. My mom. Are you friends with any cancer survivors? I don't think so. Do you wish the sunrise and sunset lasted longer? Hm. Sunset, maybe. Idk. Name a country whose history you know nothing about. Lmao most. What is your favorite store at the mall? Hot Topic. Do you have a bed or do you sleep on a mattress on the floor? I have a bed. When was the last time you went for a run? Shit, not since high school gym. Do you keep Christmas lights up year-round? No. What did you win a scholarship for? Nowhere. What type of bug do you see the most often in your home? Flies. Do you put off things until the last minute? I tend to. Is your mom the same size as you? No, I'm smaller. Do you know any Christians who aren’t judgmental? No shit. Do you still think of that Gwen Stefani song when you spell bananas? Ha ha yup. Do you like the way your hair naturally is, or do you change it? It's fine. But I want it dyed badly. Do you know anyone who died accidentally by doing something stupid? Yes. How many different languages have you taken in school? Latin and German. How tall is your father? (Estimate?) Idk. Over six feet. Would you meet Miley Cyrus if you had the chance? No. What is your favorite slow song? Oh yeesh. Idk. Maybe "See You On The Other Side" by Ozzy. Do you believe in karma? No. Do you constantly check your cell phone? No. Only Sara or Mom ever text me, and I pick it up just if the green light is blinking (means I have a message). If there were aliens on earth, would you be afraid? Well yeah. If you could spend 1 hour 20 years in the future, would you? Yes. I want to see where I am, so long as I can change my behavior to improve that future if needed. Otherwise, I don't wanna know. Are your pets asleep? Teddy probably is, Bentley might be, idk where Roman is, but he likely is, I can't see Mitsu from where I am currently, Venus may be (no eyelids, so you never know) as she's in her rock, and Kaiju is awake. Have you ever wished you were an only child? Never. Have you ever hurt someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever gotten hurt while sledding? No. Do you enjoy going through old pictures? It depends on the subject of them and my mental state. Kid pictures I'm always up for, high school ones are okay, though they can make me really upset with how healthy and skinny I was, and I deleted all photos I had on Facebook of Jason and me last year so I couldn't even risk looking at them ever again, as there's a good chance some would trigger my PTSD. Of all your exes, who do you think you had the deepest feelings for? Jason, obviously. Do you tend to have a lot of drama in your life? I have the most uneventful, bland life. No. When’s the last time someone was disappointed in you? Idk. What song are you listening to right now? Is this one of your favorite songs? "Alone I Break" by Korn. No, but I love it. What is something you have to explain a lot? My sweating issue. Gross to talk about, but I sweat seriously excessively, like you would not believe. It can be 70 degrees and I'll be sweating in seconds. People worry about it, and in VR, I've had to explain it so many times due to it affecting suitable jobs (I think we can all agree being drenched in sweat at work looks extremely bad). Hopefully I won't have to anymore when my doctor decides what to do about it. It's most likely a thyroid issue, which I have no clue about how to subdue symptoms of. There's really a shitload I have to explain lately between doctors and VR... Which compliment do you receive the most? From those that know me/see me, that I'm losing weight. From people in general, "I love your hair" or something like that. Who were you last on the phone with? My sister. What is one thing you have always wondered? Uh. Idk. I'm sure there's a lot, just nothing's coming to me atm... What do your friends think about the music you listen to? Your family? My friends and I like similar stuff, as do my parents, especially Mom. My sisters are the total opposite of me and don't enjoy metal and the like at all. Has anyone ever told you to grow up? Essentially. Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people? Hell no. How many true friends do you have? Excluding family and my girlfriend as they're more than that, like... one or two, it feels like most of the time. Can you honestly say you’re happy right now? No. What is something you are exceptionally bad at? Doing math in my head or spelling up there. AND READING LIPS. Do you have a house phone? No. Who do you love more than anyone right now? Don't make me choose between Mom and Sara. How much money do you have saved up? I literally have $11. Do you like bright/neon colors? Yes, but I prefer pastel. What is your favorite wild animal? Meerkats. Do you ever eat breakfast? I almost always do. Do you remember who your first grade teacher was? Yes. Have you ever won any trophies? What for? Yeah, for A honor roll all through elementary school (save for 5th grade; I got one B and was so upset, lmao), then in all kid sports I played, everyone got lil ones, some from dance I believe, and I think there's one or two others I'm not thinking of...

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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musicmixtapes · 6 years

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April 24, 2018 Mix

Hello friends,

Another installment of music! This week was really easy because I just put together exactly what I was feeling including love, memories, scary emotions, and independence. Enjoy and let me know if you have any comments or suggestions! Spotify Playlist 1. Quiet, The Winter Harbor by Mazzy Star - Brand new single by Mazzy which I'm so excited about because she is one of my favorite 90s female singers and is still going strong. Although it's spring, this song is still very much appropriate for any people who are having a hard time leaving things in the past and feel like a sinking ship. 2. Between The Breaths by Mitski and Xiu Xiu - I am always a big fan of the combination of singing and acting spoken word in new indie songs which this piece does perfectly. Definitely gives off a bit of an eerie electronic vibe which has a sunny disposition. 3. You Were Afraid by Night Beds - Looking back on past love and seeing what went wrong, the age old topic for sad romance songs. This one is cool though because it doesn't make you feel sad while listening to it so that's fun. 4. Lotus Eater by Foster The People - I immediately loved this song because FTP always has the coolest guitar/drum combos in their pieces. Also I love the greek mythology reference to the "lotus eaters" I am a big fan. 5. Be Your Own 3am by Adult Mom - This song is so important. It is literally an anthem for self love, self care, and taking your mom's advice to "be your own 3am" which is so accurate. Stop trying to find love and acceptance externally through physical pleasures and just try to find some happiness within! 6. Stuck On The Puzzle by Alex Turner - This is the same writer and singer who is the front man of Arctic Monkeys who took his own solo EP and wrote from a very different perspective and genre, more romantic and slow paced. I love the careless, anti romantic beginning which turns into someone who can't figure out why he loves someone so much. 7. I Admit I'm Scared by Ó - Being scared something good is going to go wrong and that someone won't be a part of your life anymore? I'm sure we can all relate. The feelings of anxiety in love is explored in this song which struck so personally to me and it's so sweetly put with simple music to it. 8. The Circle Game by Joni Mitchell - Probably the only song that can make me cry at any place and time. The angelic voice of Joni as she travels through the birth, life and inevitable death of a young person, with the swell of people singing the chorus literally gives me the chills. My dad used to play this in the car all the time when I was little. 9. Still Clean by Soccer Mommy - A song about betrayal and being used for physical senses... there are a lot of animal related metaphors to explain the writer's feelings and I think she does it wonderfully. Letting someone use you because you love them leaves you feeling empty, according to this hell of a song. 10. Honey Leak by Little Bird - An R&B, soulful, electric song that keeps you listening carefully for the gently sung words underneath the awesome cacophony of instrumental throughout. 11. This Strange Effect by The Shacks - Stumbled upon this band completely by chance and so glad I did because they are definitely an up and coming alt/indie rock generational icon. This is one of their more known songs and it's actually a cover of the song by The Kinks (who I love). 12. Not My Baby by Alvvays - The intro to this song is the sound of a motorcycle driving away which signifies the ending of a relationship (love the sound metaphor). We listen to the carefree sound of the song and think about the singer talk about her becoming uninterested in the relationship and mentally checking out. 13. The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song by The Flaming Lips - Questioning everything. Saying that if people had the choice and no consequences, would they automatically do the wrong thing just to get their way? The Flaming Lips say, "yeah yeah yeah" they would because that's what happens when someone has too much power. 14. Francine by Esmé Patterson - Loving someone who belongs to someone else. I love when a song has a person's name as the title because it's so personal, yet so much of the time the story the singer is telling can be relatable to other people in our own lives. 15. Help Myself by Knox Fortune - This song reminds me of me and my mom, which is the mark of a really good song if it maybe is meant to relate to one specific kind of relationship but transcends that boundary and moves to any relationship. I love this line: She brushed her teeth, I stayed in bed/She brushed her hair, I scratched my head/I bite my nails, she gets hers done/We're not the same, not hard to tell. 16. Let My Love Open The Door by Rogue Wave - A cover of an older 80s jam that is really well known, just taken down a few notches, un electrified and sung with a different sort of passion, still passionate though. It's really popular these days to cover older songs in a unique way that almost forges a whole new song which I'm loving. 17. Psychotic Girl by The Black Keys - Recommended to me by a cool friend, I totally discovered a new side of the Black Keys and some of their older music has such a Rolling Stones vibe which I totally can chill with. 18. Kiss Off by The Violent Femmes - This song is the epitome of forming modern rock bands and giving so much musical influence. Not even to mention the iconic counting in this song which gave so many other artists this idea, but the hardcore bass and guitar which makes you wanna dance is just amazing. 19. Miss You by The Rolling Stones - The iconic beginning to the song which everyone knows is obviously awesome, but the whole thing is great too. Jagger sings about longing (maybe lusting too) about a girl he really wants back with him. Total spring feels because of the romantic element here. 20. People Can't Stop Chillin' by Sports - An instrumental ballad which is super pretty and includes some harmonious voices and a couple horns at the end which closes out so lovely.

#music #newmusic #good vibes #goodmusic #piano music #instrumental #classicrock #altrock #alternative #indie #rocknroll

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salireperiodic · 3 years

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CREATIVE WRITING | KISHIE SALIRE

LOOKING FORWARD

PHOTO REFERENCE | https://images.app.goo.gl/JPDZ7qSChAMoxkSe6

“Past is past” we all know that quotation. It simply means that we should let go of everything we’ve done before and focus more on what’s going to happen next. In life we’ve done many things in the past that serves as a lesson for us in the future. We’ve made decisions before that shaped us to what we are now. Good or bad, there’s a reason why we’ve done it and why did we reach up to that point.

Personally, I’ve gone through a lot of decision making from the smallest thing of picking up an outfit to life choices. I have this experience where in I lost my childhood bestfriend. I need to make the hardest decision wherein should I let her go or should I keep her. We are really close back then when we were little. She would always visit me at our house and we will play with dolls, pretend that we are chefs in a restaurant and many more. As time goes by we do things differently but let’s focus on what happened days before that day. She is acting differently, it’s weird because it’s so unlike her. I asked her if we could meet up one time because it’s been years since we last saw each other, but she rejected me. I was shocked with that move because she would never do such thing. Later she said that she don’t want to be friend with me anymore and she need to cut off people in her life. I asked myself why does it have to include me? We’ve through a lot then all of a sudden she wants to cut me off. I don’t know what I did to her and it hurts that she wants me out of her life. I have trouble letting go of people that means to me a lot. I can’t just simply say goodbye, forget our friendship, and move on. I asked her what did I do to make her unfriend me but she did not said a word. After that day I’ve never heard of her, no communication, no nothing. It’s heartbreaking because I have no choice but to respect her decision and I should decide for myself as well. In the end I moved on with our friendship but I kept all our happy memories together.

No matter how though and how hard it is, we have to stay strong and keep moving forward. There’s nothing we can do if we keep on holding unto someone or something that doesn’t make sense in our life anymore. If we still keep those thoughts it will forever haunt our mind and it would be a toxic move for ourselves. If there’s nothing we can do, just let go because it will set us free and lives will set our peace.

SURVIVING THE STRUGGLES

PHOTO REFERENCE | https://images.app.goo.gl/s3opLyrkgtGxPcHG7

Insecurities is what keeps our self-esteem down. It may be from flaws or past traumas that has a deep effect in our life. This is what keeps us down and make us overthink most of the time. “He’s/She’s better than me”, “I’m ugly”, “I look fat.”, “I don’t think I can do it”, what if’s and buts, those are the most common things we say when we feel insecure. How do we overcome this feeling? How can we survive the struggle?

Growing up I have a lot of insecurities with me body from my face down to my body shape. I don’t have a pointed nose, I have thin eyebrows, one squinted eye, pimple and pimple marks, stretchmarks, cellulites, big hips, overall it’s me, I am my biggest insecurity. I’m always fond of girls with the opposite characteristics of mine, I always adore and want to be them. I’ve been through a lot of breakdowns in my life because I think that I don’t fit in today’s beauty standards, I’m off base. Then there’s this special someone that helped me overcome these insecurities. He helped me love me more and that made me realize that he’s right, I don’t have to look like someone else to make myself fit. I need to be me, I need to embrace myself because if everyone can see how much I love myself then that makes me more beautiful in their eyes. I may not have the perfect face and body but I have my good personality. And that is the biggest flex I can ever share to everyone.

If you still have insecurities that keeps you from growing, let it go. It took me a time but now I realized that you are accepted and appreciated in the society. No one can make fun of your insecurity because a lot o people believe that you are perfect just the way you are and people will love you because you are you, not someone else.

MUSIC OF MY LIFE

PHOTO REFERENCE | https://images.app.goo.gl/D1VQQDHA8ygiNubo7

These 9 beautiful girls you see above are the girls who saved me this year. This Korean girl group Twice gives this ray of sunshine to their fans. I’m obsessed with their music and I use that to overcome stress and anxiety. Their songs are catchy but has this deep meaning into it that I know everyone can relate to.

I’ve been a fan of their group since 2016. I’m listen to K-pop songs since I was in grade 4 but I’m really not into idolizing a specific group, then I stopped listening when I got to grade 6 then back at it again in grade 8 when my classmates are discussing about K-pop, specifically Twice. It’s interesting then I started to look it up online and that’s when it all started, it’s a bop! I’ve been listening to their songs non-stop and I memorized each name of the members. Another reason why I love K-pop is because of their dance. I love to dance and I memorize each choreo of their songs. Whenever I feel down I just listen to their songs and dance to let go of all the negative energy I’m feeling.

SECOND THOUGHTS

PHOTO REFERENCE | https://images.app.goo.gl/vsP6jgzrbrKNLP8R6

I can't describe what I'm feeling right now

I think I went numb.

I want to let go now

But I know that will be dumb.

I try my best not to fell out

But it's you who's pushing me to the limit.

I don't want to leave you with questions and doubt

Cause I know it will hurt you,

I feel it. I've been feeling this for a while

But I can't find the exact words to say.

I want us to go for another mile

"I want this to stop" that's what I wanna say

I love you too much and it's hurting me

But how do I say this without crying.

I want to set you free

Because I don't want to keep on lying.

Being in a rough path in a relationship and you have thoughts if you still want to continue or not.

THE CHOICE

PHOTO REFERENCE | https://images.app.goo.gl/avLFGWeQSvRrNEe9A

“Daddy, does mommy love us?” Nico asked.

“Of course, Nico.” I replied.

“Then why did she left us?”

I was stunned at the thought. I never imagined Nico saying that at such a young age.

“Love, I have something to tell you.” Nicole said to me.

“I’m busy love, can we talk later?” I continued typing on my laptop. We have a presentation tomorrow so I need to finish this business plan now.

“It‘s really important, please? Just one minute.” here she goes again with those cute eyes that I can’t resist. “Okay, what is it then?”

She handed me a stick like thingy that has two lines at the center -- wait, what?

“You’re...”

She nodded.

I can’t believe my eyes, she really is-- “Pregnant?”

“Yes!” she said it loud and proud.

I lift her up out of joy. I can’t believe it, I’m gonna be a dad! One Sunday afternoon in our garden she said that we’re expecting. We have to tell our parents, our friends, other member of our family. My heart is filled with joy I couldn’t wish for more.

A few months later.

“Look, I bought something for our baby!” I pulled out a huge teddy bear out of the bag and showed it to her. I’m too excited for this. “Love, you gotta chill okay? We don’t even know what this little bean is gonna be.” Yeah, we don’t know for now. “Let’s see tomorrow at the shower.” I winked and gave her a peck in the cheek.

“It’s a boy!” I knew it, I’m gonna have a little me in a few months!

He’s gonna have my brown hair for sure the he will get his mother’s eyes and nose hopefully and let’s not forget my wife’s personality with a hint of toughness from me. I giggled at the thought.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Nicole asked. “I’m thinking of a name, now scootch I need to concentrate.” She laughed at me. Nothing give me more positive vibes that seeing my wife happy.

“Stephen, Louie, Sky, Justin...”

“How about Nico?” she said.

“That’s perfect.”

“i know.” Yes love, ‘cause it’s your name.

“I can’t wait to see you Nico.” I croched down and talked to our little bean inside her tummy. “Can you feel it? He’s kicking!” I did not say anything but I do felt his little kicks.

We rushed to the hospital early in the morning because Nicole said that her water broke and the contractions hurts so bad. I quickly packed the things that we will be needing and off we go.

“Sir, I’m sad to say that there’s been complications during the pregnancy and only one of them can survive.”

Hearing those words from the doctor, I felt that my whole world crumbled.

“No, it can’t be. Do anything you can please?” I cried.

“You’re talking to the teddy bear again” Mom said.

“Let go of them son, it’s been years.”

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javistg · 6 years

Note

Katniss/Runaway bride! :)

Thanks for the prompt! This was a bit of a challenge, but it was a lot of fun to do.

This is a very condensed version of the story. I basically chose my favourite scene and tweaked the rest a little bit. For those of you who haven’t seen the movie, here’s a small synopsis.

Hope you enjoy.

I can do this, Katnisstold herself, put one foot in front ofthe other and repeat until I reach the altar. She let out a deep breath. It’s just a rehearsal. I’ve got this.

“Ready?” Madge whispered, giving Katniss’s shoulder a soft squeeze.“Just walk in a straight line and don’t look back, ok?”

Katniss nodded. Walking down the aisle was never the problem, –she hadthat down to a science by now– but staying there and actually going throughwith the ceremony, well that’s where it got tricky.

It’s different thistime, Katniss reminded herself. Galeisn’t like Marvel or Darius. He really sees me. He knows who I am. He’s the one.

As if reading her thoughts, her fiancé said, “I’ll be right behind you,Catnip. Peeta will be waiting at the altar like we discussed. Just pretend he’sme and keep your eyes trained on him. Alright?”

“Easy peasy,” Katniss said, flashing him her most confident smile.

“Easy peasy,” Gale confirmed.

Katniss squared her shoulders and lifted her chin.

A small smile touched her lips as she remembered the dress she was goingto wear to the actual wedding. It was the finest one she’d had so far, withlayers of silk and a long train –Peeta said she looked radiant in it.

Closing her eyes for an instant, she pictured herself wearing it. Shetried to remember the feel of the soft fabric against her skin, the weight ofthe skirt hanging heavily from her hips, the sound of the crinoline rustling asshe took her first steps.

Looking at Madge, Gale asked, “Can you open the door?”

With a flick of her wrist, Madge turned the doorknob and pushed thechurch doors wide open.

Katniss stood in place, taking measured breaths, as a long corridormaterialized in front of her. The rows of rustic pews which hugged it on eachside made the room look smaller than it was.

“Visualize,” Gale instructed.

Katniss immediately imagined the room full of people –her family andfriends– curious eyes waiting with eager anticipation, anxious to see if shemanaged to go through the entire ceremony this time around.

She shook her head to clear her mind of other people’s expectations andconcentrated on the words Gale had drilled into her mind. Focus on the prize.

Her eyes ran the full length of the aisle until they landed on Peeta. Hewas leaning against the empty pulpit, waiting for her at the other end of thecorridor.

He looked good, in gray trousers and a pale blue button down shirt thatmatched his eyes.

The waves of ashy blond hair falling over his forehead brought a smileto Katniss’s lips. He looked more like a teenager than like the rational adulthe was.

Without further prompting, Katniss took her first step.

The soft carpet felt like cotton candy under her feet. I cando this, she reassured herself as she continued walking.

“Doing good, Catnip,” Gale whispered behind her.

Flattered by her fiancé’s praise, Katniss kept moving.

A bright stream of light shone through the stained-glass window and gotinto her eyes. Startled, Katniss covered her face and blinked a few times.

“Don’t lose your focus,” Gale instructed.

Katniss nodded. Taking one more step, she tried her best to ignore thelight as she looked straight ahead.

At the far end of the aisle, Peeta pushed away from the pulpit. Herolled his shoulders back and straightened his stance.

His lips turned up into a smile. It was shy and sweet. Katnissimmediately mirrored it.

Feeling giddy with anticipation, she picked up her pace.

She hadn’t known him long, –this handsome man who was waiting for herat the altar looking at her like she was the most beautiful creature in theworld– but he had already become a grounding presence in her life.

Peeta Mellark was a reporter from the Capitol who had come to her smalltown a couple of weeks back with the assignment of figuring out her “story.”

She had hated him at first; with his expensive Capitol clothes andpolished manners.

Everything about him had felt wrong. From the way, he tied hisshoelaces, to the way he sipped his tea.

She had found his presence unnerving, and she was insulted by the factthat he felt qualified to talk about her life and judge her actions.

She had been as mean to him as she possibly could. But he hadn’t givenup.

Peeta had been patient and kind. He had followed her rules and listenedto her story, showing her that he was more interested in what she had to say asa person than in the scandal surrounding her string of failed marriages –orweddings, to be more precise.

She hadn’t known him for very long, but she felt connected to him. Inthe few weeks they’d spent together, she’d learned that he was gentle and kindand that he wasn’t afraid to stand up for those he cared about.

He had wiggled himself into her heart, and she had already begun todread the day when he finished his research and decided to go home.

“A few more steps,” Gale whispered, “You’re almost there, Catnip.”

Katniss nodded and kept walking, always focused on Peeta; hanging on tothe blue, hopeful, eyes which were trained on her, calling out to her, quietlyrooting for her to succeed.

A sudden sense of peace enveloped her, making her lightheaded andcheerful. Pulling her shoulders back,she took her next step.

She had never felt more certain of anything in her life.

She had almost reached her mark, when she felt it again, the anxiety,the dread, the feeling that something wasn’t quite right.

Katniss froze, eyes wide and dark as her fear took over.

Her palms began to sweat, and her treacherous mind flitted back to herfailed weddings, to the expectant faces of her former grooms.

Her heart sunk. This was when things usually went south.

“Katniss,” Peeta’s voice was barely a whisper, but it was enough tocatch her attention.

Katniss looked up, blinking a few times as she tried to gather herthoughts.

Peeta stood still, waiting for her to make her next move. The mix ofterror and hope etched on his face as he nodded, ever so slightly, encouragingher to go on, tugged at her heart.

Her eyes found his, warm and bright as a summer sky, and, just likethat, whatever it had been, the force holding her back was gone.

Relieved, she pressed her hand against her chest and sighed. Her fearturned into a soft chortle that escaped her lips.

Peeta smiled sweetly at her, but held back, giving her the space sheneeded to enjoy her newfound peace.

A familiar voice rang in the distance, but Katniss ignored it. The restof the world could wait. Peeta’s open arms calling out to her, inviting her tobe free, we’re all that mattered.

Letting go of her concerns, Katniss jumped into Peeta’s embrace.

His arms, steady and strong, quickly enveloped her.

Katniss closed her eyes, feeling protected and loved. The soft beat ofPeeta’s heart under her ear soothed all her worries away.

Standing on the tips of her toes, she wrapped her arms around Peeta’sneck and pulled him in for a kiss.

He didn’t resist. His arms tightened around Katniss’s back, keeping herclose while his lips molded to hers.

It was a slow kiss, full of tenderness and longing, charged with promiseand need.

Katniss clung to him, digging her nails into his scalp to pull him evencloser.

A warm wave of desire spread through her body, overwhelming her sensesand throwing her into a lustful haze where the only thing that mattered was thefeel of Peeta’s lips on her skin.

Dazed, Katniss tried to make sense of what was happening. She had beenkissed many times, but never like this. Like she was precious and delicious, adelicate dish that’s meant to be thoroughly enjoyed.

Under other circumstances, she would have been worried. She would havequestioned the effect Peeta seemed to have on her. But she was done beingpractical. She didn’t want to examine her feelings anymore.

Without hesitation, she gave into the moment, eagerly letting all herreservations and fears go.

They broke apart a moment later, breathless and giddy, smiling like twochildren who have found an incredible treasure.

Peeta cupped her cheek, his eyes soft and unfocused as he ran his thumbover her swollen lips. “That was—,” he said as if coming out of the fog.

Her head bobbed up and down in agreement as she tried to catch herbreath. She was about to kiss him again when, out of nowhere, Gale’s fistmaterialized, flashing past her to connect with Peeta’s jaw.

The impact pushed Peeta straight out of Katniss’s arms. Shocked, shewatched him fall backward and land on the altar steps.

Gale stepped in front of her. His slate eyes still on Peeta who was toostartled to stand up.

Surprise quickly gave way to anger. “Gale!” Katniss yelled, forcefullyyanking her fiancé’s arm to get his attention. “What do you think you’redoing?”

Gale turned to her. His chest heaved as he tried to keep his breathingunder control. “What do I think I’m doing? I’m defending the woman who’s aboutto become my wife!”

“I don’t need defending!” she bristled.

“He was kissing you, Catnip!” he yelled, pointing an angry finger inPeeta’s direction.

Without waiting for Katniss’s reply, Gale shoved her out of the way andfocused on Peeta, who had managed to get back on his feet. “What have you gotto say for yourself?”

Peeta took a step back, raising his hands to show his surrender. “I… I’msorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have. It’s just—,” He turned to look atKatniss. His hands fell limply to his sides. “You kissed me,” he whispered.

Katniss nodded, touching her fingers to her lips as the implication ofPeeta’s words sunk in.

“What difference does that make?” Gale roared, reaching out to grabPeeta’s collar. “You kissed her first.”

Before Peeta could say anything, Katniss interrupted Gale’s rant.“Enough!” Her broken voice echoed in the small room. “Let him go, Gale. We needto talk.”

“You ok?” Peeta asked as Katniss sat down next to him.

They were on her front porch, where she’d asked him to wait for herwhile she talked to Gale. That had been hours ago.

Katniss nodded. With a sweet smile, she reached out to touch his chinwhere an angry bruise had already begun to show. “I’m sorry about that,” shesaid. “He shouldn’t have hit you.”

Peeta waved her off. “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have been kissing hisfiancée.”

Katniss dropped her hand to her lap and turned to look at the sky. Itwas a peaceful night. A thousand stars seemed to smile on District 12.

“We’re not engaged anymore,” she whispered.

Peeta’s shoulders dropped. He leaned forward until his elbows wereresting on his knees. “I’m sorry,” he apologized.

“Don’t be,” she said, sounding tired. “This wasn’t your fault. It wasme. Again. I keep getting myself into these situations.” Turning to look athim, she asked, “Why do you think that is?”

Peeta shrugged. “Your sister thinks that you’re afraid of bindingyourself to someone else. She says that, after what happened to your parents,you decided to keep everyone at arms’ length. That you don’t want to risksuffering the way your mother did when your father died.” His voice was painedwhen he added, “That you keep dating people you don’t love because you think itwill keep you safe.”

“Really? Prim said that?” she asked, hating how small and insecure shesounded.

“Yeah.”

Katniss sighed. She wanted to say that Prim’s technical assessment ofher situation had hurt her, but it hadn’t. Not really. Her sister was right.

After her father’s death, Katniss had vowed to keep her family safe.

Once her mother had recovered from her deep depression and Prim hadgrown up, Katniss had realized that being alone forever didn’t make any sense.So, she’d started dating and, in time, she had even accepted marriage as a partof life.

Every one of her fiancées had given her something special.

Marvel’s passionate ballads had rekindled her love for music.

Darius’s delicate sense of humor had taught her how to smile again.

Mitchell’s eagerness to please had allowed her to put herself first foronce, and Gale’s determination had made her believe that there was nothing shecouldn’t master.

They’d all been good to her, kind, and giving, and generous.

In her own way, she cared about them all. But she had chosen them withher head instead of her heart. And, at the end of the day, they hadn’t beenwhat she needed to complete her life.

Taking a deep breath, Katniss steeled herself for what she was about todo next.

Turning to face Peeta, she said, “The thing is… It felt different withyou.”

Peeta turned so quickly she thought he was going to lose his balance.

Warmth spread through her cheeks as she said. “I know it was just arehearsal, but still. As I was walking down the aisle today, I felt the sameanxiety, the same tightness in my chest I’ve felt every single time.” Her handreached her chest, and she pressed her fingers over her sternum, showing himthe place where all her panic attacks began. “But then I saw you and, I don’tknow, all my worries sort of… disappeared. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.”

Straightening up, Peeta looked into her eyes. The hopeful glow she hadnoticed earlier in the day was there again. “I don’t think that’s a coincidenceeither, Katniss.”

Emboldened by Peeta’s statement, Katniss ignored the anxious shiverrunning down her spine, and went on, “So, I was thinking. I already have adress, and a caterer, and a venue. It would be a shame to let it all go towaste.” Speaking matter-of-factly, she added, “And what about the people whohave already saved the date? It would be rude of me to cancel on such shortnotice.”

Peeta nodded, apparently giving her words some thoughtful consideration.“So, are you going to give them a party?”

Katniss shook her head. “I’d like to give them a wedding.”

Peeta chuckled. His eyes told her that he was onto her, but he stillasked, “Don’t you need a groom for that?”

Katniss nodded. Her heart was beating so fast she could feel it in herthroat. “Will you marry me, Peeta?”

Peeta’s smile softened. He gazed at her with a mix of adoration andpassion so strong she thought she was going to burst into flames.

Wrapping his hand around her neck, he pulled her in for the softest,most gentle kiss she’d ever received.

Her small hand found his shoulder, and she greedily pulled on it tobring him closer.

Peeta tensed under her touch. Softly, he pushed her away. Leaning hisforehead against Katniss’s, he whispered, “No.”

Katniss pulled back. Her gray eyes, wide as saucers, reflected all thestars in the sky.

Trying to keep the hurt out her voice, she asked, “No?”

Peeta reached for her hand. His thumb began tracing soothing patterns onher skin. “I want to be with you, Katniss, more than anything in the world. ButI already rushed into a marriage once, and it didn’t end well. I don’t want tomake the same mistake twice.”

His free hand reached out to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.“And how about you?” he asked, running his fingers along the length of herbraid. “You’ve been single for all of 10 minutes. After everything you’ve beenthrough, you should take some time to think.”

Katniss scowled. “I don’t need to think,” she said, sounding like apetulant child.

Peeta shook his head. “I see you, Katniss. You’re intelligent andtalented, and loyal, and strong. You’ve spent a long time taking care ofothers. It’s high time you focused on yourself. You shouldn’t settle foranything or anyone.” With a shaky sigh, he continued, “It’s breaking myheart to say no to you right now, but I don’t want us to rush into somethingonly to wake up tomorrow and regret it. We need to get to know each other, makesure that what we feel is real.“

A crushing sense of defeat settled on her shoulders. Feeling broken,Katniss lowered her gaze to her lap. Peeta’s hand was still entwined with hers.The soft caress of his thumb over her skin brought tears to her eyes.

“Will we still be together?” she asked.

Peeta tightened his hold on her. His words rang loud and clear, easingher worries and clearing away her doubts. “Yes. This is not the end of us,Katniss.” Hooking his index under her chin, Peeta lifted her face towards his.“We’re just getting started here.”

I’m working on a short epilogue to round this up a bit. I’ll probably post it before the weekend.

Want me to write a drabble? Send me a prompt!

#javis answers #thanks for the inspiration #runaway Katniss #crossover #answered prompt 2017

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