#for reference here is the full joke without mistakes:

[milksuu]

Sorry, Mom. I'm The New Cleaning Lady For Heartsteel

Pairings: various!Heartsteel x f!reader

Status: on-going (Cross posted on AO3)

Content/Warnings: 18+ content, explicit themes, suggestive language

Summary: Identity theft was a crime—that was obvious. But when it meant paying off the bills for basically existing and your mother’s hospital expenses, committing a felony didn’t seem like a bad thing. It was like that one quote, from that one band, with that one hit song: “Two sides to a story but they never tell me side.”

Or…something like that. Wait, what was their name again? Heartsteel? Sounds like a dating sim game.

[Reader takes the identity of her mother, who had been hired to be the new cleaning lady for an up and coming boy band named ‘Heartsteel’. Obviously, there’s no way they would ever find out. But that was a joke. Because they’re definitely finding out: one by one.]

“You…brought your own cleaning supplies?”

“You always need to be prepared, young man,” you replied, adjusting your duck-yellow cleaning gloves. They squeeked and flopped comically around your hand and fingers. 

“Ma’am, you do understand today is solely the house tour.” The man folded his arms neatly against his chest, white brow raised. “In order to rely on you fully, you’ll need to be familiar with the estate first. I thought we discussed this beforehand. That and…we have cleaning supplies to provide you with here.”

You paused at the grand modern entrance. You lifted your bucket full of sponges, brushes, and cleaning spray from the dollar store. 'Buy-one-get-one' on all cleaning supplies was the grand deal of the day. How could you pass a penny-pinching bargain? Swallowing your shame, you settled the cheap items on the pristine granite floors. 

“Oh, is that so? Must’ve slipped my mind. Age will do that to you.” You forced a chuckle, adjusting your sterile mask across your youthful face. “That and, I have such a passion for cleaning. I can't help myself. I see the inside of a house, and I just have to clean it. I’m sure you could understand that.”

“I don’t believe I could,” your employer said dryly. “Anyway, if you will, follow me.”

You nodded and shuffled along accordingly. As you stared into the back of his immaculately pressed business attire, a new-found horror struck through you: you had no clue what your employer’s name was. Frantically, you scavenged your pockets. From it, you pulled out a business card, holding it so close to your face you smelled the tinge of clean cologne.

YONE

RIOT RECORDS

DJ / PRODUCER

 EMAIL: [email protected]

TELEPHONE:  XXX-XXX-XXXX

“The bottom floor consists of all of the amenities; gym, entertainment area, recording studio and so on.” Yone stated as he stepped into the open-kitchen plan. When he regarded you again, you awkwardly plunged the card back into your pants pocket. “The boys have their own scheduled chores every week. They’re expected to do it without you having to help them. I’m trying to keep them humble, but easier said than done. Refer to the chore calendar on the fridge. And try not to interfere with it too much.”

“Okay—who switched my protein powder with flour?” Behind an opened cabinet, a heavy-muscled stacked man growled. “Guys. Seriously. This stuff’s expensive. Where’d it go?” When he poured the contents out into the trash can, he plucked out a note from the bottom of the canister. The small print read:

‘Protein powder tastes like dog food.’’

The weight of realization punched him square between the eyes. He threw open the pantry, where dog kibble was stored in a tub at the bottom marked ‘Ernest’. Sett pulled open the container, and sure enough, found his  protein powder and scooper. There was no mistaking his favorite smell of cinnamon crunch isolate, now mixed with the scent of dry-bacon kibble. Another note pasted the inside lid:

‘Woof–Woof ฅ՞•ﻌ•՞ฅ’

“A–phe–li–os,” the name gritted between his canines. His ears flattened against his untamed hair, and crumpled the note to dust in his palm. “Oh–Ho. Mess with me all you want; but never mess with my gains. I’m gonna’ prank him back so hard tonight, he’s gonna’ be begging me to stop.” 

“Sett,” Yone coughed, grabbing the Vistayan's attention. “We have a guest today. Our new cleaning lady.”

“Oh, sorry about that.” Sett wiped his powdered hand against his sleeveless shirt. He reached and took your rubber glove with a squelch. “Hey, how’s it goin’, Ma’am. The name’s Sett.” 

You swallowed hard, hoping your glove would remain securely covering your hand. You feared if he pulled back, he would reveal a hand that wasn't so wrinkled for someone supposedly in their late-fifties. And that was according to your mother’s age printed on her driver’s license. Thankfully, you could tell he restrained himself to a delicate shake.

“Would talk more but gotta hit the gym. Nice meetin’ yah though,'' Sett started away, and called back over his shoulder. “Mom, can you take care of Phel for me? I dunno' where he hid the dog food for Ernest.”

Yone exhaled a silent sigh, and part of you felt pity for your employer. He seemed like a parent with a tag-team of overbearing children running around the house. Being a single parent was difficult; you knew this first hand from your own up-bringing. It made you grateful for your mother’s patience and attention. It was the reason you were here in the first place. 

“Let’s continue with the tour upstairs,” Yone said, motioning you to a loft-style staircase. “The second floor consists of all the bedrooms and laundry room. At the end of the hall is my room. As it stands, it’s completely off limits to everyone, including yourself.” He turned a sharp chin in your direction, “Am I understood?”

You gulped and pressed your shoulders straight. “Of course.”

“Mommy, help me!” A bed of green hair bounced to Yone’s side, tugging at his tailored suit. “Kayn’s bullying me again. But I didn’t do anything wrong, I swear.”

“You’re such a crappy liar.” The presumed assailant, Kayn, stomped out of the hallway bathroom. Magenta hair stuck to his furrowing brows. With just a towel wrapped around his steaming waist, his abdominal muscles tensed, pointing aggressively at his target. “I was trying to shower in peace, until bubblegum pop princess over here came barging in trying to take selfies of himself. Did you know people usually shower naked? I’d like my junk not to be posted on social media, unless I’m the one doing it. For cash.” 

“It’s not my fault you’re always going over your shower limit. News flash: we each only get fifteen-minutes. But you’re always breaking the rules! You know I take my selfies at the same time, at the same place, every single day. So how about you do us all a favor, and get some better time management?”

Kayn raised a vein popping fist into the air. “How about I get you a better face instead?"

Ezreal cried fake sparkling tears, cowering further behind their producer.

“Enough. The both of you,” Yone tightened around his words like a leash, restraining the quarreling pair. “For once, I’d like for you two to at least pretend you get along in front of others.” 

The two whined and grumbled under their breaths till they fell to a silent agreement. But the peace treaty wasn’t upheld for long. You saw a zap of yellow from the corner of your eye. The image was so fast, you thought you must’ve imagined it—Nope. You definitely saw something. Kayn’s towel knot popped loose. And it wasn’t caused by an event of divine intervention.

The towel billowed towards the ground. And the world felt as if it was turning in slow motion, like one of those car chase movies with excessive explosions. Except, the only explosion here would be your very own heart.

Sure, you took an anatomy class here and there. In high school, you remembered the penis joke’s and games, and they never flustered you. Heck, not even when your friends set your desktop screen to a .gif of dicks spinning in circles—you found that hilarious. And when anatomy classes began in college, they were all very clinical, rudimentary, and otherwise a snooze fest. 

But seeing one in real life when you’ve never had a boyfriend or a one night stand, was truly groundbreaking. Earth shattering, even.

Penis (en)counter: 1

While you were stuck in your prison of naïve embarrassment, Ezreal laughed and pulled out his cell phone, camera light shuttering a mile a minute. 

“You little shi—!” Time sped forward again. With fast reflexes of his own, Kayn whipped the towel and knot back in place. “That’s it. You’re dead.” 

“Uh–Oh. Time to run again,” Ezreal quipped, zooming off down the stairs.

With all bark and full bite, Kayn vanished like a cloud of smoke in pursuit. You coughed against the smog, while Yone merely swatted his hand back and forth, dissipating the gray wisps.

“You’ll have to excuse them,” he commented. “They share the same room, but have vastly different personalities. I arranged most of them together, thinking it’d help them understand each other on a deeper level. And ultimately, help them perform better together in the studio and on stage. My efforts are…yet to be determined.”

“That’s alright. Can’t be easy for young men their age to share anything. Especially with them being full of energy, testosterone, and other things. O-Oh, to be young once more…ah-ha…” you laughed nervously. Oh, God. What the heck were you saying? Honestly, you had to give pardon to yourself. You were still trying to recover from seeing your first penis up close and personal.

The image would be forever burned in your mind.

You were pulled from your self-conscious thoughts. Down the hall, a pair of shadowed eyes peeked through a sliver of door and frame. When your gaze locked together, the other pair of eyes shifted shyly from side to side. As if a poltergeist existed within the room, the visage faded back into the uncanny crack of darkness. The door creaked closed, with an audible click and lock.

Yone pursued straight to the door, and you stood a few paces back. If there was any chance that a ghost was inside living rent-free, you wouldn't be the first it possessed. You weren't a certified Ghostbuster.

But you also weren't a certified Dustbuster, either. No one will know, know one will know, you chanted the comforting hymn. 

“Aphelios. Open the door. I know you’re in there. I can see the computer light flashing,” Yone stated, rattling the door knob. “Where’s the kibble for the dog? Sett told me you have it somewhere.”

There was a beat in the air. From behind the door, you heard feet pacing back and forth, and the sounds of finger taps against a phone screen. Yone’s phone pinged with an alert. He pulled it out, and opened his text messages.

‘I can’t open the door all the way. I set the bucket of dog food to fall on Sett’s head when he comes in. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ’

“For the love of…no more pranks today." Yone pinched the bridge of his nose with a groan. "But I doubt you could even manage that. Whatever trap you’ve ensembled, take it down—now. And put the dog’s food back in the pantry. Unless you want to donate a cut of your earnings every month to Ernest’s pet store bill.”

Another pause, followed by begrudging phone taps. 

‘Fine, m O T h E r…(¬_¬")’

“That might take him a few. Depending how intricate the set up was. I would be surprised if the only thing involved in this scheme was just the dog food.” Yone motioned you back down the stairs. “Last thing to see is the outdoor space.”

Continuing with the tour, you passed through the lower floor, stepping down a hallway decorated with awards and magazine clippings. From commercial modeling gigs to sold out venues, your eyes glistened at the polished look the group was slowly cultivating. Which you had to admit, completely contradicted their personal lives.

When you reached a sliding glass door that stretched from floor to ceiling, you stepped out onto a landscaped deck. Lush modern garden trims, a shaded outdoor lounge, and smooth sandstone pavement decorated the space. At the backend, an infinity pool rested in pristine stillness. 

At the head of the pool, a person of sculpted bronze physique posed in swimwear on a lounge chair. When you approached along with your chaperone, he picked up his tropical drink, and tilted it in a cheering gesture.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t Mama gracing me with his presence. And look's like someone else is with him, too.” The man basking in the sun's rays and oil slicked, shucked his sunglasses onto his dread locks. “Let me guess. This must be the new cleaning lady you hired to pick up after our mess.”

“To a certain degree,” Yone replied. “But not all of the mess, K’Sante. Out of everyone, you should know better.”

“I only joke, Mama.” He grinned smoothly, taking a sip of his frozen alcoholic refresher. “Say, have you seen Sett? I told him to come join me for a tan by the pool. If he wants his muscles to truly pop, he needs to use some oil and not be allergic to the sun. The man is whiter than the sky is bright today.”

As he laughed to himself, Ernest left his chew toy at the far side of the pool, and came to sniff your shoes. With a smile, you slipped a very small piece of your long sleeve up, allowing him to sniff at your skin. The dog lapped his tongue around his slobbering chops, barking delightedly and pawing for you to pet him. You were more than happy to oblige.

These gloves came in handy after all, you thought pleasantly as globs of saliva fell in heaps over your fingers.

“What’s this? Ernest taking a liking to the cleaning lady already,” K’Sante mused at the sight. “Barely warmed up to us when we first met. We won’t mention the illegal trespassing but, call me impressed.” 

With a wink, he flicked his sunglasses back down to the bridge of his nose. “That or he has a ‘ting for older women. Can’t say I blame ‘em. An experienced woman has a certain power that’ll make any grown man cry. And from my own experience, it is never for mercy.”

Oh, boy. You couldn’t imagine your mother being interested in the cougar life-style. Not that you would approve of it. And you were certain your father would descend from the heavens and deliver the backhand of God to any young man who dared otherwise.

Before Yone could address the unsavory statement, Ezreal burst through the backyard sliding doors. Still possessed with laughter, he hopped and skipped over pool chairs and tables. The merriment stopped short when Kayn caught up to the cheeky idol, snatching his wrist which held the phone. From the staggering halt, the phone slipped from Ezreal’s hold, somersaulting towards the pool. 

“M-My phone!” Ezreal paled at the thought of losing thousands of stored photos of himself—Oh, and the blackmail photos he was going to use against Kayn, too. 

Yanking his wrist free, Ezreal pursued the device. But Ernest’s rubber hotdog toy squealed beneath him, forcing him off balance. Kayn latched an arm around Ezreal's slim waist, and pressed him safely against his bare chest.

He huffed against Ezreal's ear. “You can’t swim, you idiot. Remember? Just let it go.” 

Ernest barked at the surmounting commotion. Being the valiant guard dog with the perfect pedigree, he bounded on his thick paws to catch Kayn by the towel, with all the intent to keep them both from falling in. What a good boy! Unfortunately for Kayn, Ernest bit a bit more than he could chew.

Kayn’s voice bass boosted ten-octaves lower. “MY DAMN ASS!”

W-Whose voice was that? Was that even the same person? The thought rattled through you.

A chunk of Kayn's soft meat condensed in the jaws of a furry devil. A shock travelled up the nerves of his spine, into the the muscle fibers of his arm, shoving Ezreal forward. Ezreal flailed his hands in the air, desperate to find some semblance of balance—with no luck, at all. Fumbling on his tip-toes, Ezreal plummeted into the pool with a splash. Kayn stumbled from the after-shock of his spirit being bitten straight through his buttcheeks. His feet met the cursed rubber squeaker, sending him following suit into the pool. Except, the towel had its own plans. It decided to stay behind and not get involved.

Penis (en)counter: 2

“I heard some commotion, fellas. What’s goin’ on?” Sett stepped out from the sliding doors. He caught witness of Ezreal’s face treading water, gasping for bouts of air. Sett’s muscles popped at the sight, barreling towards the scene. “Don’t worry, Ez. I’m coming for yah, buddy!”

Sett launched himself into the air, preparing the most athletic Olympic dive ever conceived.

Kayn inhaled sharply as he broke through the water's surface tension. Recuperating his breaths, he slicked his wet hair back from his face. Looking down at the waters crystal reflection, an odd shadow grew in size around him. And according to the forecast earlier; there was no chance in Hell of clouds or rain. Lifting his nose to the darkening sky, he blanched in sheer horror. A body, massive enough to eclipse the sun, hurled down like a meteor descending to Earth.

What day was it today, Doomsday? He must've forgot; Kayn never bothered to look at calendar's, anyway.  

Back to the painful mistress that was his life; a weak, painful moan escaped him. “You can’t be serious. This isn’t the cool death I deserve—”

Those were Kayn’s final words. A wave rivaling a tsunami consumed him, a random pizza chair float, and the immediate surrounding pool area. Standing in the designated splash zone, pool water soaked your soles, leached into your socks, and dampened your pants to the knees. From K’Sante’s spot, a shot of chlorine or two spiked his drink. He snatched his sunglasses off and shouted the words; “This was the last bit of banana daiquiri mix, you aboas! Now I have to go down to the liquor store and hope they sell it frozen already.”

Yone, with all the grace anyone could hope to be blessed with, merely side-stepped away. A single speck landed on his polished shoes. He narrowed his steely eyes, flicking away the insignificant drop.

You caught something flashing on the second floor of the estate. Looking up, you shielded your eyes from the glaring sun. From one of the windows, you spotted someone holding up a sign. You assumed it was Aphelios. The poster read:

‘4/10 Ezreal. 6/10 Kayn. 10/10 Sett.’

With a dramatic burst through the water, Sett hurled Ezreal over his massive shoulder, and walked out of the pool. Placing Ezreal onto his soaking back, he coughed and gagged against the awful taste of treated water.

He smiled at his new-found savior. “Thanks, Sett. I’m fine, but what about Kayn…”

The group shifted their attention over the silent, lapping water. After a bubble or two, the sight of Kayn’s bare bottom surfaced to the top. Floating like a wet and rounded land-mass, with the additional landmark of a pink dog-bite. 

“Kayn! Hang in there, pal!” Sett launched himself once more into the water, creating another wave of soaking magnitude.

Although the drink had already been spoiled, K’Sante reflexively covered the top of his daiquiri glass. “For God’s sake, Sett. Take your time. It’s not like you’re saving the life of an innocent man.”

As chaos continued to ensue around the gang, Yone placed himself at your side. With a shake of his head, he crossed his arms, and sent a ghost of a smile your way.

“Welcome to Heartsteel,” he said. “Your first day starts tomorrow.” 

Looks like your identity was safe…for now, at least.

an: thanks for reading! the rest of the this story will most likely just be on my AO3. You can find me @ milksuu. comments and suggestions always welcomed. <3

#heartsteel #league of legends #Heartsteel x reader #kayn x reader #ezreal x reader #aphelios x reader #Sett x reader #K'Sante x reader #Yone x reader #reader insert #league of legends fanfiction #cross posted on ao3 #divider by @benkeibear

[cevansbrat0007]

There is a trend on some social media where the wife/Gf gives her man a full plate and only her self a little saying that is all that was left. How would Andy and Ari act in that situation?

What's Eating You, Mr. Levinson?

Summary: You decide to test your man's patience with a prank you saw on TikTok. CLICK HERE to read Andrew Barber's reaction to the same prompt.

Warnings: Mature Themes, References to Smut, Ari Being A Menace, Brat!Reader, TikTok Hijinks, Brief Mention of Calorie Counting, Bickering, Manhandling, Threats of Spanking/Punishment, Discussion of a Sex Tape, Cursing, Minors DNI

A/N: Prompt brought to you courtesy of a Reader Request. This fic features Ari Levinson from my Sweet Renegade Series. Semi-proofread, not beta'd. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. Thanks for reading!

You weren’t quite sure what possessed you to do this. If anybody asked, you would claim temporary insanity. But right now you were about to get up to some mischief. 

“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” You mutter under your breath as you adjust the position of the camera you hid tucked away behind a plant. Pleased with the angle, you make a mental note to revisit the world of Harry Potter sooner rather than later. 

It was officially time for a reread. 

Tonight you were gonna play a little joke on your bounty hunter boyfriend. One that you’d come across the other day after accidentally straying from the wonderful world of BookTok. You just hoped he would find it as amusing as you did. In fact, you were certain that he would.

Eventually.   

Hands on your hips, you do an about-face and traipse back into the kitchen to get started on dinner. On tonight’s menu was a Tuscan pork roast, complete with red wine mushrooms and Haricots Verts – also known as French Green Beans. And for dessert, you’d decided to whip up your man’s favorite: key lime pie 

So, even if he got pissed at you later, you were confident you had something that would soothe his ruffled feathers. 

Fingers crossed.

Later that Evening…

The heady thrum of excitement hits you the moment you hear the open and shut of your front door. Having anticipated his arrival, you’d even thrown on a new dress and cued up a little music. While it wasn’t your usual style, you knew without a doubt that Ari would appreciate your efforts. 

“Bird?” 

The sound of your nickname has a smile forming on your lips before you even realize it. Smoothing your hands over your skirt, you make your way towards your mudroom, eager to greet your handsome bounty hunter. 

His eyes light up the moment he sees you. He stands there for a moment, drinking in the sight you clad in your new black dress and wedge heels. 

“Well, get a look at you.” He breathes, allowing his bag to drop at his feet next to his forgotten boots.

“You like?” Biting your lip, you give into temptation and do a little spin. 

Confidence blooms when you hear his appreciative whistle. But that’s nowhere near enough for your man. Because now that you’d gone and given him a show, he wanted more. 

“Oh baby, I love.” 

Pulling you into his arms, his mouth quickly descends upon your own. His tongue wastes no time finding yours, exploring every inch, every corner of your mouth. He lets you know without words that he’s so unbelievably happy to be home holding you like this. 

You cling to him, your hands roving beneath the soft fabric of his t-shirt to run along the sculpted plane of his back. When he finally lets you up for air it’s so he can nuzzle his nose in the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet, unique scent.    

“You’re beautiful.” He rasps, pecking your lips once more, his large hands come up to frame your face. “So beautiful. Can’t wait to take this dress off you later, see what you might be hiding underneath.”

“All in good time, Beast.” Your lashes flutter closed as you lean into his touch. “All in good time.”

“What if I don’t wanna wait?” His husky growl rumbles from somewhere deep in his chest as he fiddles the material of your skirt. 

“Well, you’re gonna.” Comes your cheeky response. “So go on and wash up for supper. We’re having something yummy.” You bat as his hands, intending to shoo him up the stairs.

The look that flashes across your man’s face makes it clear that he’d much rather have you for dinner instead. He boxes you in, slowly crowding you with his much larger frame as he backs you against a nearby wall. 

However, you refuse to let yourself be swayed.

“I mean it, mister.” You repeat, poking him in the chest. “Now, be a good boy and go wash up.” Ari’s eyes darken at your words. His head dips without warning as he bites your finger, sucking the digit into his mouth, making you gasp. 

“Alright, Duchess. Have it your way.” He growls once he finally deigns to release you. “You’d best be ready for me when I get back.” With that, he gives you his back as he strides off in the direction of the stairs.

“I ain’t scared of you.” You tell his retreating form, waiting until you hear his heavy footfalls sounding on the floor above you. Only then do you move, intending to finish setting up for dinner. 

‘Alright, sugar.’ You think, taking a second to fluff your curls. ‘Time to earn yourself an Oscar.’ 

Fifteen Minutes Later…

You’ve just finished hiding away what’s left of your meal when you hear Ari make his way into your tiny dining room.

“Have a seat, Beast!” You call out, hoping that the act you were about to put on was at least mildly convincing. “I–I’ll be right in.”

Blowing out a breath you snag your bounty hunter’s plate, along with a glass of wine, and head into the next room. Although he admittedly wasn’t much of a wine drinker before he met you, he tended to enjoy whatever selection you paired with your meal. 

Tonight you’d picked a lovely pinot noir.       

This time when you see him, you’re treated to the sight of a freshly showered Ari lazily sprawled in one of your slightly too small chairs. His still damp hair is pushed back off his face as he waits for you, patiently biding his time while he plans his next move.

Or so you assumed, anyway.

“Here you are.” You sing as you approach. “Tonight I bring you an expertly roasted Tuscan pork loin, complete with a garlic and mushroom risotto and french-style green beans.”

“Smells good, baby.” He absentmindedly scratches at his jaw while he surveys the mountain of food on his plate. 

“Hopefully it tastes good too.” You lean down to press a quick kiss against his temple. “I’ll, uh, be right back with mine.” The handsome brute smacks your ass when you turn to depart, making you yip.      

“Hurry back.” He grunts, letting out a chuckle when he sees you trying to rub the sting out of your butt.

Seconds later you return with your food before quietly taking a seat at the table, all the while refusing to make eye contact. Picking up your napkin, you make a show of draping it across your knee, and then…

You wait. 

It doesn’t take long for Ari to notice the differences between your respective plates, and it takes even less time for him to speak on it – much to your internal satisfaction.

“What the–?” Ari pushes his plate aside so that he can get a better look at your virtually empty one. “Where the hell’s the rest of your food, baby?” His deep voice comes out deceptively soft.  

“Huh?” You cast him a sheepish glance, feigning embarrassment. “Oh this? It’s fine.”

“That’s not what I asked, Bird.” The quiet steel in his voice is impossible to miss.

“I know it wasn’t. But this was all that was left, so…” You trail off, averting your gaze in favor of using your fork to push food around your plate. “It’s fine.”

“There’s that damn word again.” You hear him grumble under his breath, his nostrils flaring in frustration. “I got news for you, Bird. It ain’t fine.” He grouses, reaching for you even as you shift away.

“But it is.” You sing, daintily fanning yourself with a napkin. 

“No it isn’t.” He sings right back, clearly not understanding your game. Which was a good thing. It meant that you two could play a little longer.  

“Look, if this is about you feeling like you need to start counting calories again…” Ari goes to rest his elbows on the table, his own meal all but forgotten. “Then please believe me when I tell you that you look phenomenal. And not just tonight, baby. I mean every night.”

You feel your cheeks heat as your body responds to his praise. That familiar warmth soon spreads, pooling in your belly while you mentally preen at his words.  

“Thank you, Ari.” 

“Oh don’t thank me, sweet girl.” His already husky voice dips another octave. “I just want you to eat.” You stifle a small shiver when the roughened pads of his fingertips lightly graze over your hand. “Now, do me a kindness and take your pretty little self back into that kitchen and fix yourself a proper plate.” 

And there it was. He thought you were lying about there not being any leftovers. He was right, of course. Just not the way he thought he was. 

“I would if I could, sugar.” You stretch out your legs beneath the table as you prepare to really sell the narrative. “Honest. But there really isn’t anything left. I…accidentally only bought one pork loin instead of two. And then I misjudged the recipe for the risotto, but that was most likely on account of the fact that I was in my feelings about the state of Herb & Twine’s green beans selection. It wasn’t very good.”

Ari doesn’t tell you this, but he’s actually impressed by your ability to speak that fast without so much as taking a breath. Instead all you receive is a gruff “uh huh” for your trouble.  

“So,” You forge on, now fully committed to the bit. “I salvaged what I could out of the meal I planned and then gave most of it to you.”

“Why?” 

Boy, he did not look happy. Which was great news for you

“Because…” You draw out the word, wincing when you belatedly notice the sudden tick in his jaw. “I just…felt like you shouldn’t have to suffer for my mistakes.”

“Oh.” He hums, pursing his lips as he mulls over your story. “Well, I reckon we’ll just have to fix that.”

Unsure of what he means, you open your mouth to keep talking, only to let out a shriek when Ari suddenly reaches over to grip the back of your chair to drag you, and it, over closer to him.  

“Christ, Beast!” Your hand flies to your still-heaving chest as you will your heartbeat to calm down. 

But your man’s not done yet. 

You scarcely have time to catch your breath before you’re hauled into his lap. Immediately your arms go to weave themselves around his neck to keep you from falling. Not that Ari would’ve ever allowed that to happen.

Seemingly unbothered by your rather dramatic response, Ari seeks to balance you on top of his muscled thighs as he leans over again to retrieve your plate. You watch in confusion as he unceremoniously dumps the contents onto his own dish before setting yours aside once more. 

“Hate to break it to you, Duchess.” He seamlessly adjusts your positions so that he can grasp his knife and fork. “But I don’t need all this food. So it looks like we’ll just have to share.” 

Momentarily stunned by this turn of events you can only nod as he feeds you a tender bite of pork. It takes a moment for you to find your voice, but when you finally do, it’s to utter two simple words. 

“Ari, wait.” 

“‘Fraid I’m not really in the mood to wait.” Your impatient bounty hunter warns. But he does pause his efforts, his fork hovering mere centimeters from your mouth. “You’re nuts if you think I’m the kinda man who would even consider stuffing himself while his lady sits by and starves.”

“I know.” You assure him before rearranging your body so that you’re facing him, your thighs  now straddling his hips. “And I think that’s awfully sweet.”

“Great. So how about you –”

“But since this is a prank…” The grin you’re sporting threatens to split your face in two. “It looks like you get to keep your food.”

Ari blinks back at you, his mouth briefly opening and closing in a way that very much reminds you of a fish. You feel positively giddy as you press your hands on either side of his bearded face so you can plant a kiss on his full lips while he tries, and fails, to make sense of what you just said. 

“Run that by me one more time.” His quiet snarl is enough to have you soaking your panties.

“I saw this thing on TikTok, where these women all decided to prank their boyfriends by serving them this big ol’ plate of food, while pretending to give themselves only a little bit and claiming that was all that was leftover. They filmed their reactions and posted ‘em for everyone else to see.”

“What the hell is a fuckin’ TikTok?” 

“It’s this app where you…” You pause as you try to find the right words. “Where people can, um–”

“Post dumb shit?” He quirks a tawny brow as he tries to remain serious, even though you’re also pretty sure that you just saw his lips twitch. “Come up with new and inventive ways to torture the men that love them?”

“I mean, that’s not all it is.” You take a moment to whisper kisses along his chiseled jaw. “But I guess that’s a pretty accurate description.”

“Hmph.” Your grumpy bounty hunter continues to glower at you, even as his large, warm hands move to settle on your hips. “And am I right to assume you’re recording this?”

“Maybe…” You giggle, not bothering to hide just how funny you found this all to be. “Oh – but I was never gonna post it. Promise.” 

You hold up your pinky, trying your hardest to look solemn. But the look Ari gives you lets you know that he’s done falling for your act. 

“I’m warning you, Duchess.” He grunts, lightly bouncing you on his lap. “I swear to God, if I catch myself on that fuckin’ tock clock…thing…you have my word that I’m gonna redden that ass.”

“I already told you I wasn’t gonna.” You reassure him once more, resting your forehead against his. “By the way, thanks for bein’ such a good sport about the whole thing.”

“No problem.” He flashes you a feral grin, revealing his pearly white teeth. It shoots straight to your core. “But the way I see it, you kinda owe me one. Don’t you?” He leans in close as his hands begin gently kneading your curves. 

“Um…I don’t think–” You let out a soft whimper when he drags his nose along the delicate column of your throat.

“Oh, but I do.” He nips at your jaw. 

“I suppose that’s fair.” 

“Trust me, it is.” His sensual growl has you practically shivering with need. “Which is why you’re gonna show me where you hid that camera.” His lust-filled gaze drops to your cleavage as he openly begins undressing you with his eyes.

“Now hold on a minute, Beast –” You stammer once realization dawns. 

“Aw, don’t fret.” Ari’s rueful chuckle lets you know that you will never win this battle. “You’ll have your turn to direct our little movie.” Ari suddenly stands without warning so that he can gently deposit you back in your own chair. “Especially now that I know how much you love performing for the camera.

Oh, the man had you there. Sometimes your Beast was a bit too cunning for your liking. 

“I don’t think–” You try again, now feeling shy. “What we do in the dark has no business being on film!”

“Hm, guess we’ll just have to keep the lights on. But for now, let’s get you fed.” He drops a kiss on your head before picking up your empty dish and sauntering off towards the kitchen. “We’ll talk lighting and camera angles once you’re finished.” 

Good Lord on high. What had you just gotten yourself into?

“Here we are.” Ari continues upon his return a few minutes later. He sets your down in front of you before taking your napkin and redraping it across your lap. “But I’d eat fast if I were you.”

“Um…why?” You ask, eyeing him warily. 

“Because.” He winks at you before taking a seat and enthusiastically spearing a piece of meat onto his fork. “Tonight’s dress rehearsal starts in thirty minutes.”

END

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[fluentmoviequoter]

My Shy Valentine

Requested Here!

My Shy Valentine Series Masterlist

Pairing: Tim Bradford x shy!fem!reader

Summary: As Valentine's Day approaches, Tim's coworkers don't believe he has a girlfriend. She's too shy to be introduced conventionally, but when they catch him hugging someone at the station, the truth comes out.

Warnings: fluff! a repeated mouth-to-mouth joke, this has build-up to Valentine's Day.

Word Count: 2.2k+ words

Masterlist | Tim Bradford Masterlist | Request Info/Fandom List

Picture from Pinterest

“Can you take this to the K-9 captain?” Angela asks, extending a paper toward Tim.

“Do I look like your secretary?” he replies.

“No, you look like an errand boy.”

Tim rolls his eyes at Angela’s smile. He should be used to it by now, but she never fails to surprise and push him to the brink of snapping. She’s also one of his closest friends, so he powers through her nosiness and sarcastic comments.

“Fine, but only because I was going that way before you asked,” he answers, taking the paper.

“Sure. Thanks, Timothy.”

As Tim walks into the K-9-unit training area, he looks around for the captain but finds something more interesting to focus on. Across the turf obstacle course, you are talking to a K-9 officer, Hughie, as everyone in the station refers to him. Tim finds himself drawn to you for some unexplained reason.

“Bradford,” the captain calls. “Finally realize we’re the best?”

“No, sir, I’m happy in Metro,” Tim answers. “Dropping this off for Detective Lopez.”

The captain nods as he takes the paper, noticing Tim’s gaze drift back to you.

“Who’s that?” Tim asks.

“Hughie,” the captain answers before quickly realizing his mistake, exclaiming, “Oh!” before telling Tim your name. He adds that you are Hughie’s best friend, and you come to visit often. 

You raise your head, meeting Tim’s eyes for a second before you look away quickly. Tim thinks he could get used to being looked at by you, and the idea startles him.

✯✯✯✯✯

Looking away from the attractive officer quickly, you focus on your best friend, Hughie. He seems to notice something has brought out your shyness, glancing across the obstacle course before chuckling.

“That’s Bradford, he’s Metro. And, between you and me, grumpy and overbearing.”

You nod, knowing that it’s supposed to be a warning, yet you find yourself more intrigued by the knowledge that there’s more than meets the eye.

“Excuse me,” Bradford says, walking up behind you. “Hughie, I wanted to let you know that Kojo is still addicted to those treats you introduced him too.”

Hughie laughs and you watch Bradford smile as he turns to you. Hughie introduces you, supplying you with Tim Bradford’s full name. You extend your hand, hoping it’s not sweaty, clammy, or any other word ending with -y as you shake his hand.

“Nice to meet you,” he murmurs, brushing his thumb over your knuckles as you pull your hand away.

Remembering Hughie’s warning, you think Tim is everything but grumpy and overpowering as he introduces himself. Tim, however, immediately catches onto how shy you are, and his smile grows when you clench the hand he just shook into a fist while you look at Hughie’s dog.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim waits outside the K-9 unit, hoping that he doesn’t come across as creepy or find out that he misread your reactions as he waits for you.

“Hey,” he calls when you walk out.

You jump, startled at the sudden attention.

“Sorry,” he apologizes, with a smile that doesn’t seem sorry to you. “I didn’t mean to bombard you, but I wanted to ask you something without Hughie standing right beside you.”

Furrowing your brows, you wonder what he could want to know that couldn’t be discussed in front of your best friend.

“I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me? We can do whatever you want,” Tim offers.

After a moment of silence, Tim’s smile falls, and you whisper, “Why me?”

“That’s usually my line,” he jokes, easing your nerves slightly.

You nod, agreeing to a date and hoping you can survive a night with a gorgeous man like Tim.

✯✯✯✯✯

Survival is not an option, it turns out. From the moment Tim picks you up with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, he seems determined to embarrass you and make you hide from him.

“Have I mentioned how gorgeous you are?” Tim asks.

You raise your napkin to your face, ducking behind it and hoping you can stay hidden until Tim is ready to leave, but he pulls it away from your face with a lie about being sorry.

Though he makes you so shy you can’t speak to him, you and Tim both fall quickly and within a few weeks of meeting him, you’re completely under his spell.

✯✯✯✯✯

Visiting Hughie, he asks what you see in Bradford, and you can only raise one shoulder to your cheek. There isn’t enough time to list everything you love about Tim, but you also think Hughie wouldn’t get it.

“As long as he treats you well, it’s your decision,” Hughie decides.

You smile, wrapping your arms around his waist as he chuckles. His dog barks as he returns your hug.

“Do you want to go see Tim?” Hughie asks.

“No,” you answer quickly. “Not while he’s working and there’s so many people.”

“You visit me in front of other people while I’m working,” Hughie argues.

“I don’t have a massive crush on you,” you mumble.

“No, you’re just a terrible friend who made the ‘Hughie’ nickname stick.”

“Sorry,” you say with a pout, spreading your arms for another hug.

“I suppose you’re forgiven; not much I can do about it now.”

✯✯✯✯✯

“Who are you watching the Super Bowl with?” Nolan asks. “Bailey and I are having a little get together if you want to stop by.”

“I’m having a few buddies over, and my girlfriend is coming, but thanks for the offer,” Tim answers distractedly.

Angela, Grey, and Nyla stand nearby and rush to stop him. “Girlfriend?” they repeat.

Wondering what is wrong with them and why they’re reacting so strangely, Tim nods with his brows pinched. They all start talking over one another, and Tim only catches pieces of what they’re saying.

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” Wade says.

“There’s no way… did you drug her?” Nyla accuses.

“Who would…” Nolan begins, trailing off as Tim raises a hand to stop them.

“Really?” he asks. “It’s that hard to believe?”

They nod, and Angela speaks for everyone in the station when she says, “You just don’t really act like the girlfriend type these days.”

Tim rolls his eyes, glancing toward the K-9 unit and considering calling you or Hughie to tell them you’re real, but it’s not worth the trouble. They’ll find another reason not to believe him.

“I’m with Wade,” Nyla agrees. “Until I see her, I’m calling bull.”

“Hate to say I agree, but…” Nolan shrugs.

“You are terrible people,” Tim concludes as he walks away.

✯✯✯✯✯

Tim waits outside your job, already smiling as he plans to make you shy away from him. When you step out, grinning while you approach him, he begins his assault of compliments, holding your wrists away from your face so he can see your eyes.

“You make it so easy,” he teases, kissing your nose.

“You’re just mean. You know I can’t take it,” you argue.

“That’s what makes it so fun.”

You huff, and Tim laughs as he moves his hand to your back to help you into the passenger seat of his truck.

“I do love you, though, I just like to show it-“

“In unexpected ways,” you finish, nodding sarcastically. “You’re going to kill me one of these days. I won’t be able to take it, and I’ll just keel over in your arms.”

“Like I’d let you,” Tim argues. “Mouth-to-mouth exists for a reason, baby.”

You turn away, the idea pulling your fight out of you as Tim chuckles.

“You’re not like this with anyone else,” you say quietly.

“Because you’re the only one of you.”

Once Tim lets you into his house, he notices you’re staring at his waist. He’s seen you hug Hughie and had the joy of initiating hugs himself, so he knows that is what you want. You always go for the waist when hugging but never seem willing to initiate contact with him.

Tim spreads his arms, and you rush forward to grip his waist tightly, relaxing against him as his arms circle your shoulders, rubbing comforting circles on your back.

“You can just hug me, you know that, right?” he asks kindly.

“What if you don’t want one right then?” you reply, your voice muffled against his chest.

“I always want one from you.”

Your grip tightens as you press your face further into his chest; with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, Tim takes his opportunity to get sappy and push you. He pulls back slowly, cupping your face between his hands.

“You’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen,” he begins, punctuating his compliment with a kiss. “And the best hugger.” Another kiss. “Even when you get shy and try to run away from me.”

You duck your chin, and Tim brushes his fingers over your cheek to raise your head back toward him. Each compliment and touch from him makes you putty in his hands, and Tim chuckles as he drops his head, kissing you as you cling to him.

✯✯✯✯✯

On Valentine’s Day, you wake up with a smile, excited to share your love with the people closest to you as you anticipate Tim’s surprise. He’s been talking about it for weeks, and every time you ask for a hint, he distracts you with a compliment or by staring at your face, causing you to squirm before looking away from him.

Your first stop is the police station, a small gift for Hughie and his wife tucked in your bag as you carry an oversized cardboard heart filled with treats.

“What on earth is that?” Hughie asks.

“This is for my best friend,” you answer, setting it down on the floor and removing the lid to reveal an assortment of gourmet dog treats.

 “You get a boyfriend and everything changes,” Hughie sighs, smiling as he pulls you into a side hug.

“And this is for you and Mrs. Hughie,” you add, passing him the gift bag covered in hearts.

“She’ll love that nickname,” Hughie jokes. “But thank you for thinking of us.”

“Any big plans?”

“We’re going out this weekend; too busy for us married folks to go out on Valentine’s Day. But what about the new lovebirds?”

“Tim has a surprise, but he won’t tell me anything.”

“Well… you could always go surprise him right now,” Hughie suggests, smiling.

“I don’t know,” you say slowly, glancing toward the door.

“Live a little,” Hughie adds.

You nod, telling him you’ll come to see him again before you leave. Taking a deep breath, you enter the station and set out to find Tim.

He sees you first, and when you look up, he winks at you. Raising your shoulder toward your cheek to hide your embarrassment, you walk toward him when he gestures you over. 

“What are you doing here?” he asks, smiling at you.

You shrug. “Came to see Hughie.”

“Not me?”

When you shrug again, Tim takes pity on you and whispers, “Sorry. Whenever you want.”

You take his offer, stepping forward and wrapping your arms around his waist and his move over your shoulders. He tells you that you look beautiful, and you tighten your arms around him.

“Can’t breathe,” he pants dramatically.

Believing him, or something close to it, you begin to pull away, but Tim catches your waist and adds, “No better way to go, though.”

“Stop,” you beg.

Tim smiles, and you know that asking him to stop usually spurs him on to continue.

Nolan, Angela, Nyla, and Wade stand nearby, their eyes wide and jaws dropped as Tim openly shows you affection, smiling as you hide against his chest.

“Who’s that? Another sister?” Aaron asks as he walks in.

“Girlfriend,” Angela and Wade say together.

“Girlfriend?!” Aaron exclaims, his expression matching theirs.

You and Tim look over, and when you see how much attention is on you, you turn back around and hide against Tim again.

“They want to meet you,” Tim tells you.

Shaking your head, you decline.

“They’re nice.”

You shake your head again, but Tim spreads his hand over your back and leads you toward them. Waving shyly as Tim makes introductions, you stay as close to his side as possible. 

Nolan opens his mouth to speak, but Tim sends him a warning look, and he closes his mouth to reconsider. “Any Valentine’s Day plans?” he asks.

You stiffen beside Tim, and he answers, “That’s enough,” before steering you away.

“Way to go, Nolan!” Nyla says. “We had them.”

“It was just a question!” he defends.

“She’s shy, can’t you see that?” Angela adds.

“Next time, leave Nolan in the car,” Wade says, shaking his head as he returns to his office.

✯✯✯✯✯

In the safety of Tim’s office, you pull a gift box from your bag and pass it to Tim.

“It’s not much,” you begin.

“It’s perfect,” Tim says, setting it on his desk before cupping your cheeks. “Much like you.”

You turn into one of his hands, but he pulls you into a kiss before you can hide completely.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” he says against your lips.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” you repeat.

When he pulls back, smiling as your eyes linger on his lips before dropping to his waist, you feel emboldened by his words and actions.

“I love you,” you say quietly.

You don’t have time to get embarrassed at your first confession before you’re back in Tim’s arms: the only place you get shy but don’t mind.

✯✯✯✯✯

"I thought you had a surprise for Valentine's Day."

Tim's brows raise as he asks, "Have a little faith in me, would you?"

You smile, taking his hand as he leads you onto his porch. When he opens the door, you see the floor is covered in rose petals and battery-powered candles cover the living room and kitchen.

"Tim," you breathe out.

He repeats your name in a matching tone.

"This is too much."

"It's not enough for you."

"I-I think I'm ready to meet your friends whenever you are."

Tim nods, pulling you close and tapping his nose against your temple when you find your spot, with your arms around his waist.

"It's up to you, but I'll be there the whole time."

"I love you, Tim. Thank you for being patient with me, even though you drive me crazy sometimes."

Tim laughs, leaning his head back. "I drive you crazy? Imagine what you do to me."

You lean against him, looking at the large bouquet and red gift bag on the table.

"I love you," he replies.

"You really did do too much."

"You would keep me from celebrating the woman I love?" Tim asks dramatically. "Maybe I will be the one who needs mouth-to-mouth."

You step back, moving toward the table, and Tim grabs your hips, following you with more whispered compliments.

"I'm glad I came to the station that day," you tell him, leaning against his chest.

"Don't tell Angela which day it was when you meet her, she'll take the credit for us getting together."

"Which I still don't understand."

"Usually my line," Tim repeats.

You turn in his hold, cupping his jaw as you rise and kiss him.

"Happy Valentine's Day."

"Happy Valentine's Day, my shy little valentine."

Your groan is met with kisses and far too many gifts, but Tim takes your shyness in stride and treats it like one of your assets rather than a problem. He loves you, and you love him, even when he makes you feel like you need mouth-to-mouth.

#tim bradford x reader #my shy valentine #tim bradford x you #tim bradford imagine #tim bradford fluff #tim bradford the rookie #tim bradford #the rookie #requests #shy!reader #team shy!

[silencesscreams]

thin ice

hockey!james potte. x ice skater!reader

summary: you and james go to the same training rink and always see each other. you eventually start talking and flirting, but what you didn’t know, was that you’d see him at your best friend’s birthday party and get absolutely hooked.

warnings: fluffly fluff, petnames, f!reader, use of y/n a few times, she/her pronouns referring to r, drinking

pls tell me about any grammar mistakes, english isn’t my first language!!

he sure had a nerve.

first he bumps into you in the hallway and doesn’t even apologize,

and then he asks you to get him some water? what does he think you’re doing there?

“sorry, i don’t work here.” you said, looking at him with your brows furrowed.

“oh, i just thought that you worked here because of the matching uniforms, you know?” you were about to laugh at him but then you noticed the red on his cheeks. was this man blushing?

“i’m sorry, how many times did you ask girls from the skating team for water?” you giggled, and suddenly his face is even redder.

“lets just say i gotta apologize to a lot of girls. i’m james by the way. james potter.” he dropped his gloves as he went to shake your hand. as he bent down to pick them up, you read the name on his jersey. ‘prongs’. you didn’t know what it meant, but it was kind of cute.

“prongs? what does that mean?” you ask, curious about him.

“its my hockey name”

“hockey name? like an artist name?”

“sort of, its nicer to call for prongs than to call for james.” he explained.

“really? cause i like james better.” you said, grabbing your bag from the bench you were sat on. “well, gotta go. but i’ll see you later, prongs.”

“i didn’t quite catch your name!” he shouted as you walked away.

“guess you’ll just have to find out!” you said, smirking at him from afar.

james potter sure was interesting.

as time passed, he eventually figured out your name, but he didn’t really use it. you found out he loved petnames, and you eventually started liking them too.

sure, you weren’t close, but you really liked the ‘hey ,hun, how are you?’s until you got something better than that.

“hey, love, how are you?” james asked as he filled his water bottle.

“hi, james, i’m good” you smiled

“so, i was thinking” your stomach started twisting itself into a knot. “could i maybe get your number?”

“yeah, of course.” your cheeks were getting hotter by the second.

“great, just type in” he smirked, giving you his phone. “i’ll text you later?”

“for sure.” you smiled.

once you got to practice, it was obvious something happened, specially because of the smile you couldn’t get rid of.

“what’s up, y/n?” pandora asked, as you sat down next to her.

“james. he asked me for my number.” you kept on smiling.

“you mean prongs? okay, score” marlene joked.

“please! we’re friends.” you insisted.

“like you don’t have the biggest crush on him.” pandora laughed and you shoved your face in your hands, blushing.

once james got to practice, it was obvious something had happened to him too. specially because he couldn’t stop smiling.

“spill it, prongs.” sirius said, without even looking at him for two full seconds.

“what?!” james got defensive and sirius glared at him. “i asked y/n for her number.”

“what’d she say?” peter asked, remus was clearly paying attention too.

“she just gave it to me, can you believe that?” he smiled.

“i actually can’t.” sirius joked.

“shut up!” james scoffed.

“we’re going to lily’s birthday thing, i’m sure she’ll be there too. if you wanna shoot your shot.” remus smirked at him.

“really?” james asked, a glimmer in his eyes.

james had never felt so excited about any girl before, he couldn’t actually describe it. there was just something about you.

you spent the whole week talking to james, texting, getting coffee after practice,

he took about two hours to get ready for lily’s birthday, he was so nervous when he got there he felt like he could faint. it also didn’t help sirius was laughing at him for a very long time, but when you got there? that was probably it for him.

he could’ve just fainted because of the dress you were wearing, red was definitely your color. and with that he couldnt stop picturing you in his team’s uniform.

as you said hi to your friends, mary pointed him out and you could’ve actually passed out. your stomach went into swirls and you waved at him from afar, when he smiled at you, that was probably the nail onto your coffin, because james potter was going to be the only thing on your mind for a long time.

he came over to you after about 15 minutes of overthinking all the things he said to you through text.

“hey, hun” he said, giving you a quick hug.

“hi, james, fancy seeing you here!” you joke, taking a sip from your coke and rum.

“well, what can i say? im a pretty unpredictable guy.” he joked, sitting next to you and playing with the straw on your cup.

“you want some?” you suggested because by the way he was looking at your cup, it seemed like he was craving it.

“nah, i’m driving tonight.” he said, a sad puppy look on his face.

“hey, y/n, weren’t you needing that drive home?” pandora asked, kicking your feet.

“oh, if you want to, i can take you home.” the dark haired boy suggested, smiling at you, again, and how could you say no?

“i’d actually love that, thanks” you couldn’t help but smile back.

“you can just drop me off here” you said as he stopped in front of the driveway. “thanks for the ride, jamie”

as you looked over to him, he was already looking at you. his eyes were focused on your mouth, and he knew that if he didn’t ask you now he probably wouldn’t.

“hey, i was thinking, my team’s playing next Saturday and i’d reallt like it if you’d come by and watch… if you’re free and want to, of course.” he was staring at the steering wheel. “it’s this casual thing, don’t worry, i actually think some of your friends are going and-“

“i’ll be there.” you assure him, james’ head quickly turns, hes facing you again.

now you both are just staring at each other, lingering. his hand went over to you and put back a strand of your hair, and so you heart was pounding in your chest very rapidly and you didn’t quite know what he’d do next.

“i really wanna kiss you now.” he whispered like it was the biggest secret he ever told anyone.

“okay.” you answered, quickly nodding, very nervous to say anything else.

“but i cant though, not yet, ‘cause i know you had a lot to drink.” you felt like he was mostly saying that to himself.

“good night, james, thanks again for the ride.” you felt kind of let down, but still gave him a kiss on the cheek before you opened the car door.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU COULDNT KISS HER? WHAT THE HELL JAMES??” sirius shouted out at the locker room.

“SHE HAD A LOT TO DRINK!” he was trying so hard to defend himself, peter shook his head in disbelief.

“shes out there, i think. i’ll kiss her as soon as we finish this, i swear.” james promised, putting on his gloves.

“its not us you gotta swear to, mate.” remus said, and james knew that.

“wait so he didnt kiss you because you had some drinks?” lily asked, confused. “THAT WAS A FOUL, COME ON REF!” she shouted out before you answered.

“i actually think its kind of sweet.” pandora commented.

“i feel the same, but i really wanted a kiss, and i didn’t even drink that much! did i?” you ask, nervously.

“i dont think so.” lily was up and clapping now, she was the most excited about the game of all people there, mary was just giggling at her girlfriend enthusiasm.

you waved at james during the intermission, he blushed and waved back and you were incredibly happy. you were cheering when he scores, and eventually started shouting the same things as lily (because you knew nothing about the rules).

when they won the game, you cheered like a proud mother, it felt good to be there for him. as he stepped out of the rink, he was calling you over, as you ran to him, he was taking his helmet off and turned around to get the mouthguard and you thought that was the cutest thing.

“hi” you smiled at him.

“hi” he answered, pulling you in and immediately kissing you, his lips were soft and he smelled like strawberry two in one shampoo.

“is this okay?” he asked once he pulled back, you couldn’t bare to answer, so you nodded, and just pulled him in again.

“hm, could you maybe get me some water?” he joked, pulling back again

“you’re an idiot, james potter.”

later that same evening, as you watched him dip french fries in a milkshake, you realized that you were walking on thin ice, specially because you might be falling in love.

#lila writes #james potter x reader #james potter #james potter fic #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter fluff #james potter imagine #james potter oneshot #james potter fanfiction #james potter is my bf #i love him so much #MY BF HOCKEY PLAYER!!! #hockey!au #silencesscreams #hockey!james potter

[emeraldkniight]

Part 2 of older pls 🙏

YOUNG !

damian wayne x fem!reader

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. . . drabble smut. porn without plot. dirty talk and fingering.

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁. . . no copying of my work is allowed. Free translation is allowed as long as I am credited.

𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲. . . as I said in my other posts, English is not my first language. I have tried to make corrections with the translator, but as you all know, it is prone to making mistakes, so I apologize in advance for any mistakes or if anything sounds weird.

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲. . . I'm so happy to give you all a part two of the first one shot I posted on this blog. Hope you like it. <3

Damian was the youngest of the family. He had grown up, but everyone still made jokes or references to being the youngest. You had the idea to join in the joke and he didn't like it. Now you were a victim of the consequences of teasing him.

He sharpened his katana from the comfortable chair in the room. He looked dangerous, not so much because he had a sharp weapon in his hands, but because of that look he always had, capable of destroying anyone.

— Are you here to continue telling jokes? — he asked.

You wondered how he could sense your presence in the vast room when your back was turned and you had not made any sound that would reveal your presence.

— I came to apologize.

He turned to look at you. Deep down, you had the idea that he knew you were only apologizing to get something from him and not so much because you were interested in keeping your relationship peaceful.

— I listen.

You walked a few steps further into the room. It was almost dark, and the sun was barely shining through the curtains, so your whole room looked almost dark.

You looked at him with an expression of redemption. Damian thought it was that victim look he always saw you with. Like a helpless little animal longing for warmth.

— I was wrong to make that joke about you, and I'm really sorry, but Damian... I need you. — You said, but were interrupted when you noticed that he had pulled you onto his hips and placed you on his lap.

He made you turn your neck until you could meet his intense green eyes. His breath collided with your face and his hands ran down your thighs until he carefully lifted your skirt, revealing your underwear.

— It was the only thing I wanted to hear, beloved.

His hands ripped off your panties in one fell swoop, leaving you with nothing to protect yourself. Even though your skirt was still on, you could feel your pussy rubbing against the scratchy fabric of his jeans.

He moved closer to you, so close that your lips could almost brush against his. He had never kissed you before, so you couldn't help but think that this was something special.

His finger slid through every crease of your already wet pussy. He sank into your wetness, sliding in as he tried to stroke you. Without thinking, he squeezed your clit, causing you to jump up and down on his lap from the shock.

— Do you like it? — he asked quietly. — Do you know how easy it was? I can make you feel so good. It's easy for me to reward those who behave.

You began to moan in his ear. It was the most beautiful sound Damian had ever heard. No matter that you were someone who liked to participate in his brothers' pranks, having you like this made him feel full.

He kissed your lips. You would never have thought that Damian's way of kissing would be so passionate and romantic, as if he was protecting you from all the evils of the world with a simple kiss. Suddenly, everything intensified and he began to take your lips with such force that it seemed he loved and hated you at the same time.

His fingers caressed your hole with barely perceptible delicacy. Going to the most pleasurable place inside you, stroking that spot inside you that could make you delirious with pleasure.

— Your apology is worthless. — He said. — You don't want to apologize to me, you just want this from me. But I have been too mean to you lately, don't you think, my beloved?

#dc comics #dc universe #damian wayne #damian wayne x female reader #damian wayne smut #smut #batboys

[timetorace]

𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭

Hi, this is a enemies to lovers one shot. Hope you enjoy it. Y/S/N= ship name with Carlos. niña bonita = pretty girl.

requested by: @alexiabuono​ 

ship: carlos sainz jr. x fem!reader.

summary:  you two can’t stand each other, especially after he apparently broke your best friend’s heart but somehow, everyone ships you.  (You can read the full request here). 

warnings: choking, fingering, oral (f & m receiving), hair pulling, unprotected sex. 

word count: 5.9K.

You had known Carlos almost all your life. You started karting together when he was a kid and you had quickly taken a liking to him. The boy kept a low profile despite being the son of a great rally driver, simply going to work and meeting expectations without bragging. Before Fernando Alonso arrived in Formula One, there weren’t that many Spanish drivers who had made it that high up the grid, so it had been a surprise when two more spanish drivers joined the top category. First Carlos had done it and a couple of years later you had followed him too.

Your opinion of him quickly changed when he started dating your best friend Irene and things didn’t end so well between them. Now, Carlos had never talked about it, but Irene had told you how she had broken his heart and that was enough for you to hate him intensely. Although you had known Carlos for a long time. Irene had been your friend since you were both little girls and had been together for the last 20 years, almost as long as you had known Carlos.

Their relationship ended as soon as it began. Six months worked for everything to blow up and the chaos to begin. The problem with Carlos and Irene’s breakup was that sent the fans down the spiral of speculation. You almost felt like a member of a boy band seeing the way the racing fan base had grown. At first, it was mere curiosity about the reasons apparently you and Carlos had known each other since they were children but did not speak to each other, obviously his breakup with your best friend had something to do with it, and then the fact that you had made no effort to hide your dislike for him at press conferences where if you were asked about him you would go off on tangents or not answer at all. It’s not that you didn’t like him, but Carlos had broken your best friend’s heart and Irene was crying on the TV show where she works, throwing hints at Carlos and posting posts on Instagram that implied a lot of things. This, of course, was the fuel for all the fans who were putting together a soap opera between you and Carlos after his thing with Irene.

The first time you realized something was happening was when you were in Australia signing a couple of autographs when you saw a huge sign that said ‘I ship (Y/S/N)’. You did not understand very well what was happening. It seemed part of your name but it was not spelled correctly? So when you finished signing autographs, you leaned in next to Pierre.

“What does that mean?” you asked Pierre under your breath as the three of you walked back to the garages.

“That’s your ship name” He answered, and you frowned.

“Ship name?”

“For Carlos and you”

“What?” You asked in a small cry without being able to avoid it “When have said more than two words with Carlos in public that justifies having a ship name with him?”

“It’s because the fans found out that you guys were friends when you were kids-“

“We weren’t friends” You interrupted him

Pierre rolled his eyes “Then it seems you stopped talking to each other and then people are speculating about what happened”

“How do you even know all this?” You must have been on the other side of social networks because, in your beginning, not even the smallest sign of all had appeared to you.

“It’s all over the internet” He replied before letting out a laugh “I know because ‘liked Pierre Gasly’ too” he added referring to the joke. At least he had taken economic advantage of that. You didn’t see yourself making some t-shirts with your ship name.

After Australia, you made a mistake. You went to Tumblr and investigate further on Twitter. That was your first mistake because Pierre had not been wrong. Literally, you and Carlos were all over the fan accounts and the ships of the other drivers. You had always teased Max that Lestappen had some sexual tension simply because you loved messing with him. How did you become friends with Max? Well once when you were both still racing go-karts you had an accident and he thought it would be a good idea to yell at you about it, you yelled back three times louder and you had been friends ever since. Mainly because that day you had earned his respect even though you thought he was an idiot. Also, you had always known that you had a ship with Max, but you definitely didn’t know that the fans thought that what you and Carlos had was a childhood love. The very idea was ridiculous; how could you be in love with him after what he had done to your best friend? He had treated her like a piece of trash by leaving her and letting himself be photographed with another girl just a week later. You wouldn’t do what Irene would, but if he had cheated on her as she told you, then he deserved to be roasted by Irene in the press. Carlos had already let you know what he thought about you answering the journalists like that.

“Why do you answer them like that? You know all you do is fuel the fire, right?” He told you after a press conference.

“They are the ones who believe that you and I have a secret intense romance” You shrugged. You couldn’t even be bothered to hide how much you didn’t like him.

“Let me see, so you feed the rumor by showing them how much you hate me?” He asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Well, you cheated on my best friend so you’re pretty high on my hate scale,” you replied, and Carlos just rolled his eyes. You growled at her. How could she treat your friend with such discouragement?

At the next race, things with the fans got more intense. When you arrived at the hotel, when you arrived at the paddock when you were strolling with the golf cart from one place to another, some fan always had something clever to shout at you, which of course made Max crack up with you.

“(Y/N)! Marry Carlos already!” someone yelled at you in the crowd as you and Max signed a couple of T-shirts.

“Yeah sure, the day hell freezes over,” you muttered in response, and Max next to you burst out laughing.

A few minutes later another person shouted again “(Y/N)! If you don’t want Carlos, give it to me!”

“I’ll give it to you with a bow and everything whenever you want,” you responded with a shout, making most of the crowd giggle.

“Hey (Y/N)! How big is Carlos?” You let out a growl. You knew she wasn't talking about his height. Why the fuck did they think you knew that stuff? Max let out a laugh that could probably be heard all the way across town.

“What the hell?” You mumbled signing a cap “I don’t know, ask him, dude” you added to yourself as you and Max finished signing and headed to the paddock entrance.

“I’m going to bother you for this forever,” Max told you, making you glare at him.

“I don’t understand why, of all the people, the fans decided I have a thing for the one person on the entire grid I don’t talk to.” You complained, swiping the card to get into the paddock.

“Hey” you saw Carlos approach you and Max with a jog.

“Oh great, get lost” You weren’t in the mood for any picture someone could take off them for fans to speculate on.

“Are you OK?” He asked, placing his hands in his pockets.

“Do I look ok? They just asked me what I think of your cock” You grunted and Max next to you let out another laugh “I’ll never be able to erase that image from my head” You shuddered before Carlos took your arm to that you would stop walking and Max was chatting with one of his engineers.

“Are you OK?” He asked again, and you looked at the grip he had on your arm, which made Carlos instantly let it go.

“We are not friends, so why are you worried about all this?” You asked, crossing your arms over your chest.

“I’m sorry my affair with Irene got you into this situation.” He apologized, running his hand through his hair.

“Then you wouldn’t have messed with my best friend in the first place”

“Believe me, I’m sorry about that “

You stared at him with raised eyebrows. The audacity that he had to admit that in front of you “Wow, you are a thing”

“Ok that sounded bad”

“So you think?”

“Things are not what you think,” Carlos said, and you rolled your eyes. That was the oldest excuse in the whole world, pretending that the other person was hiding something when Irene had told you every detail of what had happened.

“Things are exactly how I think,” you replied, “And she’s my best friend so I’m standing by her” you finished before turning around to enter the hospitality.

Two days after the race and while you were at home, you entered Twitter and saw how it was flooded with the same photo of Carlos and you. It was a grainy photo, clearly taken by someone on his phone, however, it showed the two of you talking very close together and it had just been taken when he grabbed your arm, so it seemed like you were doing something else. Great, now you couldn’t even enter your social networks without receiving comments about Carlos and you.

“Omg, those fans were so rude. Is he comforting her?”

“Yes Carlos, get your girl”

“Enemies to Lovers is a thing, (Y/N). Fuck him already.”

“Isn’t she Irene’s best friend?”

“I live for them, the best couple of the grid”

“Up (Y/N)! Down Irene!”

It was crazy how everyone seemed to be involved in a romance that wasn’t real and was based on speculation. While you were watching a movie, someone knocked on the door of your apartment. When you opened it, Irene came in like a storm.

“Those photos of you and Carlos are liquid gold,” she shrieked, turning to look at you “We have to think about what we are going to say next”

“We? I won't say anything about it, Irene,” you replied frowning “Mainly because nothing happened in the first place”

“Oh honey, it doesn’t matter what happened but what they think happened,” Irene answered “Like the marriage proposal”

“What are you talking about? He asked you to marry him”

“Oh no, he didn’t, honey, I told him we should get married,” Irene told you as she typed something on her cell phone “Why look at me? Who wouldn’t want to marry me?”

“Apparently he” You muttered so low that Irene didn’t even hear you.

“But he didn’t want to marry me, so he had to learn the lesson”

“So everything you said about him cheating on you when you were engaged is a lie?”

“Oh no, that’s true, but it was only a matter of time before I convinced him, but a month later he was already with a whore”

“A month? I thought you said one week later,” Something didn’t add up in that story.

“Well yes, we weren’t officially over yet when he was already with that whore before even thinking about marrying me,” she said with a small pout.

It sounded like Carlos had literally run in the opposite direction from Irene as fast as he could. “You made everyone believe Carlos was a cheater just so you could get free publicity?”

“Didn’t you hear me? He didn’t want to marry me!” Irene squealed with a snort hitting her heel on the ground as a sign of impatience “Then he broke up with me and a month later he was dating a whore,” She definitely hadn’t understood that Carlos wasn’t interested “He wanted to make me look like an idiot”

“A month is not the same as a week,” you pointed out.

“The details don’t matter, only what they think” Irene crooned “Look at me, less than a year later and I have more work than ever” The portals, magazines, and brands had known Irene after all the scandal with Carlos, basically she was going used as a catapult to success.

“Did you use me so you could still have speaking material on your show?” You asked, suddenly worried because your friend, the person who knew you since you were six years old, would have put you in the middle of all that trouble.

“No honey, of course not, I would support you anyway,” Something told you that was a lie. Irene had always been selfish, if she had something she rarely shared it and was very jealous, besides, she didn’t like the races but the boys she could find there “But a girl has to use all her resources, doesn’t she?”

“You lied about him, you made him look like a womanizer and a cheater,” you murmured, suddenly feeling bad for Carlos. The gossip press had roasted him for months after Irene’s breakup and still did, mainly because of her, but in part, you had also collaborated with all that media circus. Suddenly, you felt dizzy from so much information.

“Oh honey, you don’t know him there, he’s one” Irene answered while typing on her phone “I have to go, I’ll call you later,” She said and when she closed the door behind her, you never felt so relieved to be alone. Irene’s presence was always overwhelming, but now you felt sick after her visit. She had used you. You had been a means to achieve what she wanted. Now you understood why she kept insisting and accompanying you to the races, even though she was sad. Carlos. You had been a bitch about something that had never happened. The feeling of guilt that invaded you then made you pick up your phone intending to send him a message, but finally, you didn’t send him anything.

However, you decided that the new information you had learned didn’t matter. You and Carlos would still not speak to each other anyway and everyone would still believe that you were secretly together. It was the same as nothing, so why should you care how he felt? At the next press conference in Monaco, you just made a joke about you guys and the rumors which got the entire room laughing and earned you a weird look from him, probably surprised you weren’t grunting in public when you heard his name. For the rest of the conference, you could feel his eyes boring into the back of your neck.

“What was that in there?” He asked, reaching out to you as you walked through the paddock after the conference “Why are you being nice to me suddenly?”

“Nice to you? Are you high?” You asked him with a frown. Of course, you refused to admit that you were cutting him some slack.

“Last time I checked, no.”

“And you need to check that?” you asked, raising your eyebrows

“Don’t change the subject”

“I’m not being nice to you” You signaled to roll your eyes

“But you’re not being a brat either, so it’s technically the same thing?” Carlos shrugged.

You turned to look at him with raised eyebrows “Did you just call me a brat?”

“You are, your scenes at press conferences speak for themselves”

“Scenes? It was my way of deflecting questions,” You complained, “Sorry if I’m not a PR expert”

“And you put the spotlight on us you got the exact opposite” He pointed and you hated with all your being that he was even slightly right in what he was saying.

“There is no us, Carlos” Because that was true. No matter how many rumors there were, you two couldn’t be further away from that.

“If you wanted me all to yourself, you just had to say so.” He called you before you entered the garage.

You turned to look at him and rolled your eyes “In case you hadn’t noticed, I wouldn’t lay hands on you for all the money in the world, Sainz”

Two days later, it was Sunday and therefore, the day of the race. By then, no one on the internet could stop talking about a photo they had taken the other day at the press conference. It was a photo of you and Max laughing and you could clearly see Carlos looking at them out of the corner of his eye. You were laughing at how ridiculous Max seemed to fall asleep in the middle of the conference and how it didn’t even seem to bother him that everyone noticed. The problem was that the look that Carlos was giving you in that photo had been interpreted in multiple ways, but the most popular was that you, Carlos, and Max were in the middle of a love triangle. Speculation had gotten wild and was already bordering on the ridiculous. While you were waiting to get into the corresponding car for the parade, you leaned against the wall and closed your eyes, enjoying the rays of the sun hitting your face. It didn’t last long, because a few minutes later someone stood in front of you, covering you from the sun. You opened one eye to see who it was and found Carlos staring at you.

“You, my friend, you need to get a hobby that doesn’t include chasing me or teasing me,” you muttered

“Do you think I’m chasing you?” He asked, leaning against the wall next to you.

“How do you explain you are always where I am, then?” You asked, raising your eyebrows.

“Why do we work together?” It was a good point, but the paddock, the garages, and the whole damn place were huge for you guys to always end up talking about.

“Why can’t you leave me alone?” You asked with a growl of annoyance, “How can you stay on your side of the paddock and I’ll stay on mine?”

“Wow, your two personalities are like fuck you and fuck me”

You saw that the parade was about to start so you stood up in your place “Unfortunately for you, you only get to see one of them”

“I really hope is the one that involves the bed,” He replied and you raised your eyebrows. Now he was smarty?

“Are you deaf? I already told you yesterday, that I wouldn’t lay hands on you for all the money in the world,” you mocked, walking towards the car that belonged to you.

“See you at the finish line” That sounded like a promise. Bold of him to think that he was going to even touch you a hair.

“You’ll have to get to me first” You challenged him “Good luck with that though” You finished before letting out a laugh.

That day had been your day. Not even Max had caught up with you and he ended up not finishing the race because of an engine problem. You win. You fought tooth and nail against Charles and Lewis, they hadn’t given up but were there. Your first win in Formula One. That felt exciting on another level. You felt powerful and obviously, you went out to celebrate like a champion.

“Oh c’mon, don’t be grumpy,” You said to Max sitting next to him in the VIP section of the nightclub. Your feet were already hurting from dancing so much and alcohol was already coursing through your veins.

“If it wasn’t for the fucking engine,” he complained

“I know” You patted his thigh

“I don’t know what the fuck is happening to us this season.” It was the third DNF for Red Bull that season and they weren’t even halfway through it yet.

“They’ll figure it out I guess,” You shrugged “I mean; I hope you don’t, so I can continue my streak,” you joked.

“Shut up,” Max groaned before taking a sip of his drink “I’m glad you won”

“No, you’re not” You replied. He didn’t enjoy losing.

“Well, I’m happy for you,” he clarified.

“Yeah, that’s more like it,” you agreed before you both burst out laughing.

Then you saw him. Carlos was staring at you from across the club. Was he licking his lower lip and looking at you? You adjusted the straps of your dress, feeling a little uncomfortable at his scrutinizing gaze. It didn’t matter if you were talking to someone else, you knew that if you turned to look, he would still be there watching you. It was awkward and, to be honest; he was getting on your nerves. Every time you leaned in to speak to Max or when he placed his arm on the back of the couch behind you, you looked up at Carlos, and, almost as if in response; he ran his thumb across his lower lip. The gesture was hot. You had to admit that. When you saw him heading towards the bathroom, you simply went after him and leaned against the wall next to the bathroom door. When he came out, you took him by the arm and threw him in the darkest part of the corridor.

“I don’t like your games” You snapped at him pointing a finger at him “Whatever you’re trying to do, stop”

“What games?” Carlos asked and you groaned. Now he wanted to feign innocence? He knew exactly what he was doing.

“Those looks”

“What? Now I can’t look at you?”

“You know what I mean,” You snorted “You look like a stalker”

“Nothing, I’m just surprised to see you so close with Max” There it was. He was jealous. You didn’t understand why, but you couldn’t miss the opportunity to make fun of him.

“I’m sorry, anyone who heard you would think you’re jealous of Max, Sainz”

“Oh, I’m” He admitted, which made you raise your eyebrows.

“It’s not that he’s in your business but Max is my best friend. I wouldn’t cross the line with him” Not that you had or owed him any explanation, but somehow you were giving it to him.

“didn’t look like that”

“He has a girlfriend”

“And?”

“I know you have trouble understanding it, but not everyone likes to cheat on their girlfriends,” you responded by being smart. You knew perfectly well that it was more than likely that things had not happened, as Irene had told you.

Your words made Carlos take a step towards you and corner you against the wall “Watch your mouth,” He murmured, leaning over you.

Who did he think he was to tell you what to do? “Or what?” you replied.

“Or I’ll have to do something about it” Carlos captured your lips between his in a wild and hungry kiss with no kind of warning. You definitely didn’t see that coming. It was intense, and it was a mere question of domination where he and you fought to see who had control. He passed his hand around your waist and you pulled him towards you by the nape of his neck. He took you by his thigh and gently lifted your leg to hug his hip. You felt the brush of his cock against the fabric of your panties. Despite the TV between you, you could tell that he was hard and that your panties were wet. You hated to say it, but no one had ever kissed you that way, so wild and so visceral. He ran his finger down your slit over your panties, but you still knew he had felt how wet you were cause he bit your lower lip between the kiss. You moved your hips against his finger. How the hell did you end up like this? You were both struggling to catch your breath, but you eventually broke up. You both stared at each other for a moment, trying to catch your breath.

“I’m pretty sure you are wet enough to wait” Carlos’s voice sounded hoarser than usual but you liked the way it sounded. When did you start to like something about him? Before you could think of anything to say, he was already walking away, back into the crowd.

After what had happened, you couldn’t stop looking at Carlos’ hands, who was now sitting next to Max, having a casual conversation with him. Had he sat there to control more closely what was going on? And you decided you were too sober for that shit. So you started drinking at a fast pace and it couldn’t end well because after a while Max dared to take the glass away from you so you would stop drinking. You kept thinking about Carlos’s words and you were more than aware of the moisture between your legs. You couldn’t deny that it was because of him.

It probably wasn’t the best idea, but you couldn’t walk to the hotel in that state if you didn’t want someone to post a picture tomorrow of you walking drunk through the streets of Monte Carlo. It made sense for you to go back to Carlos because you were both staying at the same hotel. Max lived on the other side of Monaco and, according to him, you couldn’t go back to the hotel alone without proper supervision. Moron.

“Ok, you need to fuck me or stop looking at me like that,” you told him as if you were talking on something random as you both walked into the hotel. You were too drunk to process what that whole situation meant when he kept looking at you.

“I see that alcohol makes you have an attitude” He pointed, and you stuck your tongue out at him

“Words, words, words, and no action,” you crooned, calling the elevator button

“I swear to god you’re a brat.” He rolled his eyes.

“You gonna complain about my attitude or fuck it out of me?” You asked him, entering the elevator and turning to see him. Tomorrow when you were hungover and sober you were going to hate yourself for sure for even opening your mouth and then you were going to kick Max’s ass for letting you go with Carlos. “I’m pretty sure I deserve a good spanking too” You winked at him.

“Yes, you do,” He answered, entering behind you and pressing you against the wall of the elevator while you giggled. How silly your laugh sounded. You sounded like a little girl.

“How drunk are you?” He asked, taking you by the waist.

“Not enough” You cocked your head slightly to look at him. Was he asking you why he didn’t want to fuck you if you were drunk? After what he had said before at the club? “You better not be thinking about backing out”

“Is that a threat?”

“I don’t need you to be a gentleman right now” You appreciated that he was trying not to go overboard with you but you really didn’t want to keep talking because the more you did, the more you thought back about what the hell was going on.

“I wasn’t planning on being one,” he murmured back before the elevator doors opened. You knew that was a lie because of the way he was, but you would have to prove your theory. You walked the path of the corridor that led to your room in silence when you both reached your door and you took the card from your bag to open it.

You turned to look at him “Kiss me” You had run out of clever phrases to say to him. It was a simple request and Carlos seemed to comply because, after a few seconds, his mouth was on yours once again. He closed the door behind you with his foot before pushing you against it. With your back against the door, you wrapped your legs around his waist. His mouth moved down to your neck and then to your shoulder as he alternated kisses with soft bites with his teeth. He gently slid the straps of your dress off your shoulders, exposing your boobs. You unbuttoned his pants to take them off, but that was as far as you got. As his lips moved over your tits, so did his hands and his fingers moved to the sides of your hips to slide your panties down your legs to remove them. He took as much as he could into his mouth and he sucked hard before withdrawing, leaving your nipple between his teeth. You felt how his finger slid through the lips of your pussy, testing your moisture. You moved your hip against his finger. His hands slid up your legs to your knees, and he knelt beside you, placing your legs on his shoulders. You knew what was coming next, and you shuddered in anticipation.

Your lower back lifted from the door as you felt his mouth all over you and he started licking you up and down. His fingers slipped inside you and his mouth gently sucked on your clit, teasing you with careful touches just where you really needed him to touch you. You heard a gasp coming from somewhere in the room and realized it could only be yours. The way he looked at you as he licked your pussy, even when you looked away from him because you couldn’t help but throw your head back. When you looked back down, he was staring at you. With your thighs parted by his firm hands gripping you hard enough to leave marks, Carlos devoured you. You almost wanted to cry with pleasure, each regret, each blow, each nervous touch brought you a little closer to orgasm. When you felt you were on the verge of orgasm, you took him by the hair, nuzzling him closer to you, earning you a growl from him. With the heat that had been building in your belly and the wetness between your legs, you warmed when his tongue catapulted you to orgasm.

You were barely recovering with your head still wrapped in the fog of orgasm when Carlos grabbed you around the waist and carried you to the bed. You weren’t sure you could use your legs anyway, they were made of jelly. He yanked off his pants and underwear before you nuzzled his chest so that he lay on his back on the bed. Between his legs, you knelt. You would never admit it out loud, but Irene had told you what sex with him was like, and you hated to even think about it. But the bastard’s cock was bigger than usual. You took his cock in your hand before wrapping it between your lips. The moan he let out suddenly seemed like the hottest thing you had ever heard. You worked the rest of his cock with your hand, including his balls, which caused him to pick up his hair with your hand, tugging gently. After hearing him moan, you wouldn't see him the same way. You took his cock deep in your throat, causing you to gag slightly, but you repeated the movement, anyway. You knew he was on the verge of cumming, but instead of him, he pushed you back onto the bed without letting you finish the blowjob.

“Condom? I don’t have any” He asked looking over at your nightstand. You weren’t planning on having sex in Monte Carlo with a stranger to need protection, so you had brought none.

You shook your head “Pill” simply gasped, still trying to catch your breath. You were on the pill since you were a teenager.

The smile he gave you made you flinch slightly. “Better,” he murmured back. Perhaps...? Was he admitting that he wanted to fuck you without a condom? You had never done it because you had not had a stable partner that lasted more than a couple of months and you were suspicious enough not to want to risk it. However, you trusted Carlos enough to not have a problem with that. Besides that, the very idea of ​​having unprotected sex with him was incredibly arousing.

His eyes lit up as he guided your cock into your cunt, resting just the tip between your folds before moving it to force your clit drenched in moisture from the previous orgasm. You let out a small moan before giving him a look to cut the fucking games off and get down to business. Of course, he didn’t and stuck the tip of your cock inside you one more time, only for you to throw your head back in exasperation.

“Use your words,” He murmured, repeating the movement.

“It’s just-I-” You moaned in exasperation “I don’t have any”

“Did the cat eat your tongue?” He scoffed “I think you should start finding them quick”

Damn bastard, he sure loved hearing you beg, but at that moment, you wanted to cum much more than you cared about your pride. You needed his cock more than you wanted to hit him for playing with you like that.

After a few seconds, you let out a gasp “Please?”

“Yes, that’s better, niña bonita”

He slid his cock inside you to his  balls in a single thrust that took you to heaven. You let out a little cry of surprise mixed with a moan of pleasure because you didn’t expect that movement. You had to close your eyes for a moment to revel in the way his cock worked its way inside you and how your walls tightened around it. After a moment, he moved inside you, and with one hand; he lifted your leg to place it on his shoulder while with the other; he rubbed your clitoris. The angle your leg was at just made you feel like his thrusts were reaching deeper inside you.

Carlos stopped caressing your clitoris to surround your neck with one of his hands. He was deep inside you and you were sure that your moans had already turned into little screams a while ago. Your back arched with pleasure. Carlos caressed the skin of your neck gently before you took that forearm and squeezed it. He must have taken that as a sign because he applied a bit of pressure. You tried to moan, but all that came out was an almost gasping sound as you felt his pace pick up. His thumb caressed your lips as he continued to apply pressure and you let out a little yelp or at least tried to because it came out a bit strangled. The walls of your pussy involuntarily tightened around his cock when you were already on almost there. Carlos let out a throaty growl, and the sound sent you into orgasm. A few seconds later, he came after you while your pussy continued to cringe around his cock. He removed your hand from around his neck before rolling next to you. Your lungs were begging for air, your brain was a complete mess, and your vision blurred until you could catch your breath. You felt Carlos’s semen rolling down your thighs.

“That was...” You gasped after a moment.

“Incredible? Impressive? A piece of heaven?” He suggested and you let out a laugh.

“I was going to say overwhelming, but all that too” You agreed tilting your head slightly to look at him. The way Irene had described sex with him? It wasn’t even close to what you had just experienced, and you were damn sure you were going to repeat it.

#carlos sainz one shot #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz drabble #carlos sainz smut #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz jr x reader #carlos sainz jr imagine #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 one shot #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #formula one one shot

[catiuskaa]

new task: valentine’s day [ACTS]

A/N: reposting by acts! [see full version here]. wanted to see if this format works better (and yes i will squeeze everything in this one right here cause its amazing and i 100% worked my ass off on it)

PAIRING! seungmin x reader ; enemies/rivals2lovers!

SUMMARY: boring classes, boring classmates, boring assignments…to seungmin, everyone is boring even if he’s used to pretend otherwise, but you seem to get on his nerves. you, your stupid poem, and his stupid letter.

WC: 0.651k

CW: fluffy comfort, use of spanglish (not relevant to the plot, dw), use of text format, the reader is stupidly short (which i know all about), academic rivals, bad student reader x good student seungmin, mentions of the unability to deal with complicated feelings, mentions of masking feelings, slight hint of bullying, mentions of being followed, (pet)names: little one, shortie, shortcake, smallable, pretty, hyunjin as a walking therapist, and the ending is kind of a reference to a show i'm obsessed with (not gonna say it so i don't spoil it for you guys hehehe)

|PROLOGUE| |ACT 1| |ACT 2| |ACT 3|

[☆★🌷★☆]

{PROLOGUE: THE GROUPCHAT}

At first, you didn’t really know him.

To think for a second that there was a time where you didn’t know who he was made you sigh. Oh, how you wish you had never, ever encountered him.

…Kim Seungmin.

Some may say that ‘rivals’ or ‘enemies’ is a term that could seem too intense regarding a simple statement: that you two didn’t get along.

But no. Because those kind of words were exactly how you’d define your relationship.

And it had all started the first day of your last year before graduating. When you made the class groupchat.

> you created ‘Year 13-A 😼😼’

> you added ‘lucas🤺’ ‘atenea🛐’ ‘noa🫶’ and 16 more.

> you: guys help, am I missing people?

> you: @ atenea🛐 told me to create this group for homework n stuff but idk if I have everyone’s numbers 😵‍💫😵‍💫

< noa🫶: tía you’re missing two people no?

< lara💋: hala, new people?? 👀

< noa🫶: pero- they’re literally from the other group, girl

< abril🌻: you even know them lara

< abril🌻: se te va la pinza JAJSJA

< miguel📚: sí, there should be 22 people (creo)

> you: oh right, Lix told me!

> you: yeah i’ll add them now, brb 🏃‍♀️

Well.

Rookie mistake.

> you added ‘kim seungmin™️’, ‘hyunjin🎨’

> you: omg i even added everyone

< lucas🤺: omg omg

< kim seungmin™️: omg omg so crazyy

You rolled your eyes, smiling slightly as you texted. But that was just because you hadn’t talked to him before.

Now was a different story, of course. You wouldn’t smile, not for Kim Seungmin.

> you: @ kim seungmin™️ what was crazy is how difficult it was finding someone who had your phone number, lol

< han(gry)🐿️🎙️: fr fr omg

< lucas🤺: que es omg

< lucas🤺: ‘oh me gustas’ ? omg?

< lara💋: you’re such an idiot, asshole

< lucas🤺: ohhh you love me so bad 😌😌😌

< isabel🌸: she knows better lol

< lucas🤺: dude, you’re my sister

< lucas🤺: shouldn’t you be backing me?

< isabel🌸: there’s a fee for that, dude.

You giggled at the stupid teasing, used to your mates’ shenanigans that never ceased to make you laugh.

But then, he replied.

< kim seungmin™️: @ you the only difficult thing here is you reaching graduation

…

Your smile faded.

You read that once more. Then again. And another time.

You chuckled dryly.

What was this guy on about?

> you: ah? wdym?

You remember thinking that maybe he was joking. That maybe he was someone who talked to people with a lot of harsh remarks without really meaning them. That maybe he was trying to be funny, or something.

Other texts showed up, but Kim Seungmin —named like so in the contact Felix had shared to you— wasn’t replying.

< minho🐈: guys wtf it’s 00:12

< lucas🤺: oh he uses the other clock

< lucas🤺: so its am-pm for us but not for you

< lucas🤺: think you’re special? wanna fight?

< noa🫶: lucas just shut up and go to bed

< han(gry)🐿️🎙️: damn right 🛌🛌🛌

< miguel📚: guys, stop texting 😓

> you: yeah guys lol

< minho🐈: no u started this

< minho🐈: u shush

You snickered softly, used to Minho’s humour, quickly playing along.

> you: ?! unfair ☝️🤓

< kim seungmin™️: no, minho’s right for once

< kim seungmin™️: you should shush

< kim seungmin™️: you’re less annoying when you’re quiet

You frowned at your phone, your face contorted in angry confussion.

Who did this guys think he was?

With a huff, you typed a rapid “gtg guys!”, ignoring Seungmin’s texts, and quickly settled your phone back on your pocket, getting off the bus and finally arriving home.

You groaned, the text that that Seungmin idiot had sent still rolling in your head even after you laid in bed. You passed your hands through your hair.

“Difficult to reach graduation?” You mumbled, eyes fixated ln the chatroom the sentence feeling like acid in your mouth.

Kim Seungmin wasn’t ready for how difficult his last year was going to be, solely for his stupid text message.

[☆★🌷★☆]

SPECIAL THANKS! To my lovely pookies @lyramundana and @tonks-21 for ideas and support, plus also, most of the classmate’s names are thanks to gorgeous gourgeous @stayconnecteed and her spanishverse series bc i’m so invested! Go check all of their blogs out! 100% recommend. son mis chicas españolitas, hehe&lt;3

#reposting this #stray kids #seungmin fluff #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids imagines #seungmin #skz scenarios #soft hours #kim seungmin x y/n #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin fluff #stray kids seungmin #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x you #kim seungmin fic #kim seungmin headcanons #kim seungmin #stray kids imagine #stray kids fic #prologue

[wouldntyou-liketoknow]

I'd Like to Adopt These Side Characters, Please (And Also Make One Arbitrarily To Appease The Vibes)

So, I've already mentioned my plans to write something for our dear single-minute-of-screentime-boys from the FNAF movie. And, as per usual for me, posting some headcanons will help the ideas flow for that WIP. . .

___

Jack Samar

His passengers always are, in fact, "the weirdos." It just seems to happen without fail. College partygoers crashing down from adrenaline (among other things) highs, random drifters that could all probably be in the same cult if you pay attention to detail, that one guy who's all too happy to take advantage of the open secret that the ducks in the park are free. . .Most of the time, it's nothing too serious. But he's still got some very interesting stories here and there.

He's one of the best drivers in town. And that's not just due to his job as a cabbie; he knows how dangerous driving can be, so he takes pride in making sure his skills are sharp. (Seriously, if you've ever driven a car, then you know it's practically a miracle to see someone else on the road who actually knows what they're doing.)

He has a steel-trap memory; he knows every part of town like the back of his hand. Constantly driving on various routes just has that effect on you.

He's a bit of a rescuer. As in, if he happens to see a stray animal while driving, then he'll park, coax said animal into the car, and then drop it off at at the local shelter. If you have him drive you from Point A to Point B, there's a good chance you'll spot a scruffy-looking cat or dog riding shotgun.

If he isn't too tired at the end of his shifts, he'll drive over to Sparky's for a late-night snack before heading home to rest. Both he and Ness are good listeners, so a decent chunk their banter is dedicated to venting about sucky patrons.

He's certainly aware of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzaria, as well as the rumors surrounding it, but he never really bothered with the place. And he doesn't plan to start bothering with it after seeing Golden Freddy in the back of his taxi.

Although. . .well, that occurrence might have made him start weighing the pros and cons of trying to get more information out of Mason. (He's very much hesitant about it, of course. Yeah, he was the one to help Mason out, but the assumption of Mason's experience with Freddy's is still far from pleasant.)

(Yes, his name is a pun inspired by Cory's samurai joke. What did you expect from me?)

___

Ness Aeoruhndbt-Ultendera

"Ness" is only his nickname, but he doesn't plan on revealing his full name anytime soon. Not even to his friends, for whatever reason. There's also a bit of an inside joke about how his surname is too long to actually fit on his nametag. (Yes, that gibberish my personal idea for his surname. I spent way more time working on it than I probably should have because I was determined to make a weird/funny reference, so leave me alone, okay?!)

He's been in the restaurant business ever since he was a kid; he's worked in several different joints before Sparky's. Coming from a family of foodies, he truly enjoys what he does, no matter how small-scale. Sure, some days are worse than others, but that's just life.

Similarly to Jack, it's not that uncommon for him to serve some strange characters. (Hell, sometimes the strange characters in question will wave down Jack's cab right after they've finished their meal at Sparky's.) Nothing usually comes of it, but he's still more than observant enough to pick up on certain oddities.

He makes a genuine effort to be polite and outgoing with customers. But make no mistake, he absolutely can, has, and will verbally curb-stomp someone if they push him or his coworkers too far. (Aunt Jane was lucky that her jab was minor. Plus, Ness just had other customers to focus on.)

It's no surprise that he LOVES conspiracy theories. Now, he knows which crackpot rabbit-holes to avoid, but he's still the type to listen to true crime podcasts almost religiously. In a way, researching and brainstorming is a comfort to him.

He's actually developed legitimate friendships with a specific few of Sparky's regulars. (Jack and Mason are part of this camp.) In fact, if there aren't many other customers that need tending to, he'll sit down and chat with them while they eat.

While he's perky during the day, he's still a night owl. It helps that his regular-friends almost always stop by in the late hours. (This has also paved the way for him to become a bit of a coffee-addict, but not to the point of concern. Speaking of which: he takes great joy in people's reactions to his argument that coffee is actually a type of soup.)

Oh, and that rubber-chicken-head-pencil-topper? Its name is Fabio, and Ness has been carrying it for several years now. He can't remember where/when/how he came into possession of Fabio, but you can pry it from his cold, dead hands.

___

Mason Kingsley

I wasn't originally planning to make a technical fanego for the FNAF movie. But after I learned that Mark was intended to make a cameo, I was intrigued. Thus, Mason—aka Trauma Boi—was born. His inclusion here (and in that future story I mentioned) is basically just a "What if?" scenario. As in, A. What if Mark had actually played the role of that first nightguard in the movie, and B. what if he'd actually survived his ordeal at Freddy's. . .?

Please read "survived," as "escaped by the skin of his teeth with grievous injuries and is now sort of dead inside."

Fittingly enough, Jack happened to by passing by when Mason fled the restaurant. It's pretty damn easy to stop for a guy who's covered in blood and cradling a broken arm and screaming for help.

After Jack drove Mason to the hospital, the two of them made an effort to stay in touch. Their respective patronage to Sparky's helps out with that.

Time passed, as it tends to do, and Mason eventually recovered. Keep in mind that the recovery was physical; he's still having night-terrors about animatronic monsters. Just the mention of Freddy Fazbear's Pizzaria will make him start shaking and murmuring under his breath, pale and tense.

He absolutely refuses to talk about the incident in detail, but it left some very obvious scars on his neck, chest, and arms. He's constantly trying to keep said scars covered.

Silver lining: shortly after recovering, Mason was able to adopt a therapy pet. Enter Checkers, a golden retriever who's just the best emotionally-tuned girl and is always by his side.

He stops by Sparky's for dinner once or twice per week. He wasn't too receptive to Ness' chitchat at first, but by now they have a solid friendship. (It started when Ness "accidentally" brought out a large side of bacon with Mason's order. Checkers most certainly appreciated that, so it's become a small tradition between them.)

(And just to clarify, because I KNOW someone is gonna read this and take it the wrong way: I'm NOT using this to try and whine about Mark's absence in the movie. It's really not too hard to understand that his own Iron Lung project has kept him INCREDIBLY BUSY. It's an amazing accomplishment for him, so of course it should take priority over a cameo in FNAF.)

___

@sammys-magical-au @that-bat @bee-the-matpat-simp @insane4fandoms

#fnaf movie #fnaf movie spoliers #jack samar #cabbie!cory/jack #coryxkenshin #kenshin egos #cory williams #ness the waiter #waiterpat/ness #matpat #matthew patrick #egopats #mason kingsley/nightguard!mark #mark's abandoned nightguard-cameo-character #markiplier #mark fischbach #fanmade egos #fan egos #(kind of?) #(technically?)

[alessiathepirate]

Life is Strange

WHALES: Nathan Prescott x fem!reader

Summary: Falling asleep next to the person you love the most, while the whales are singing in the background...

Notes: English isn't my first language. I apologize for any mistake I made while I wrote this short story.

Warnings: swearing, hidden references to mental health issues, slight references to sleep disorders

•••

She found the whale sounds a few months before their relationship took a turn and became something more than simple friendship. If she wanted to be honest she thought it was cute - like hella cute. Imagining him falling asleep to those sounds painted a pretty picture in her head. However, right in the next moment she was full of worry. Did he really needed it to find peace in sleeping?

She brushed it off though, after she saw his embarrassment, and acted like it was nothing. Everyone has their weird habits, right? She never talked to him about it again and seemingly Nathan was okay with it. More like... thankful - as much as he can be.

Later their relationship took turns. Honesty was on the surface, kisses were stolen, feelings were confessed and trust was built... This is where they were now. And it was perfect in it's own way. Sure, it wasn't a flawless, easy relationship. Nathan still had his issues and throwing tantrums about the smallest things weren't unusual. Dating him wasn't easy - it demanded a lot of patience and calmness from her, but it also came with such deep feelings, apologies, the feeling of being safe and loved; that every single moment was worth it.

They were laying in Nathan's bed, her arms tightly around his torso as if she'd be afraid of him disappearing. One of his hands were gently caressing her back, drawing small, imagined circles into her skin.

Their first, but for sure not last night together, in the same bed, in complete comforting silence...

How did they get here?

The girl knocked on Nathan's door not so long ago. She was wearing her pajamas - meaning she walked from the girls' dormitory to his room in it - and she had a small bag on her shoulder. He was angry at first, she could tell. The moment he opened the door she could see the anger in his eyes and that he was ready to punch whoever was in front of the door. However, when he noticed who it was, he smiled. He actually fucking smiled! And it made her heartbeat faster.

"Dana's having a fucking house-party in her dorm, the only fucking time I actually want to sleep." she said with a shy smile. "So... Would you mind if-... You know. I'd stay here tonight?"

He didn't mind, at all.

After a strong and for sure honest "fuck her", he let her in and gently kissed her. The girl smiled. Who would've thought that Nathan Prescott can be such a softie? But all jokes aside, she appreciated and absolutely adored this side of him, mostly because it was something what only existed between the two of them. With her, he really, really wanted to be honest, patient and gentle. And he was. And it was perfect in her eyes even when he didn't think like that about it at all.

"I'll have to get up early if I want to sneak back to my dorm. Like really sneak back... without anyone seeing me." she said after they laid down and she did her best to get as close to him as possible without him feeling forced or uncomfortable.

"You don't have to."

"I know." she smiled. "I'm just so tired of everyone being so damn noisy. Last time I was out with you half of Blackwell knew about it by the morning."

"Fuck them." he said again with sleepy eyes as he kissed the top of her head. "They are just noisy assholes who like to talk. Besides, I can always walk you back there without a problem." he gently touched her waist, making her climb even closer to him. "If I'll want to let you go, that is..."

She let out a small laugh - then she playfully, but carefully punched his arm. "Yeah, I forgot that you can never get in trouble."

Nathan just let out a hum and as she put her head on his chest, she could feel it slightly raising.

"Maybe I should just stay here and get in trouble." she said after a few long moments of silence. "Will you get in trouble with me?" she looked up at him with curious eyes, but the childlike playfulness was still shining behind her irises.

"Or maybe we can go out and get breakfast instead of going to class? How does it sound?"

Damn that smirk, she thought as she got lost in his eyes for a second. That smirk he had when he got both coy and flirty. How his lips curled into a smile... And how no matter he was smirking, his eyes were still shining from childish naught. There was just something so god damn irresistible in it, in his whole presence that she wanted to hate it so bad, yet couldn't.

Her lips curled up into a smile as well. "If we can get waffles, I'm yours."

Nathan just smiled back, letting out a chuckle and nothing could get that smile off his face as he felt her arms around his torso. She was laying her head on his chest again, listening to his hearbeat.

"I like your bedhead."

She just grinned when she heard his words. "Look who's talking." and after a few seconds she added: "And I like how damn comfortable you are."

Everything became quiet after that. Neither of them talked or tried to talk - not like they needed words to understand the other. She was comfortably laying on top of him under the covers, feeling the heat radiating off of their bodies. The only noises they could hear were pretty quiet. It was coming from other students' dorm room and she had a feeling that Warren is up, watching some even for her too bloody, weird ass movies. As Nathan's chest rose and lowered back as he breathed and as his heartbeat sounded so calming, she could feel her eyelids becoming heavier and heavier - and when she felt his hands drawing different figures into her skin, she almost fell asleep.

If she wanted to be honest, Nathan wasn't the only one who had difficulties with falling asleep. She was up most of the nights studying, reading, watching some movies or listening to some music - so she won't hear the loud sounds coming from the others' rooms. Falling asleep is... difficult. There were times when she fell asleep in class or when she walked to school with teary eyes caused by tiredness.

Not these days though - she was tired, that much is true, but she had Nathan by her side who's presence energized her more than she could've ever imagine.

Laying down with him though... it's a comletely different story. It's so damn peaceful and calming.

But suddenly she opened her eyes and sat up, looking at Nathan who looked back at her with sleepy, but questioning eyes.

"Turn on the whale sounds." she said kindly and lovingly - seemingly her words startled him.

"Why would-"

"No, you don't understand!" she interrupted, making him shut up. "I want you to sleep, like actually, peacfully sleep. So turn on the whale sounds... please. It won't bother me!"

Embarrassment - that was all she was able to read from his facial expressions and she got worried for a few moments there, until it turned into adoration.

"Look, Nate, it's fine... I just really want you to get some sleep."

"It doesn't make it less weird or fucked up though. Just- just get some sleep, I'll be fine-"

But she already stood up and walked towards the small shelf to turn on the speaker and a few short moments later, all they could hear was the sounds of the whales. Her lips curled upwards looking at her boyfriends, whose eyes were slightly red from the tiredness; yet he looked at her so lovingly that she felt her cheeks heat up.

When she sat back down next to him, Nathan greeted her with a kiss - what was full of the thankful feelings he couldn't explain, but definitely was able to show. She just gently touched his neck, then dragged her fingers through his hair, carefully playing with it.

"God, what've I ever done to deserve you?"

The sweet question made her heart skip a beat after the kiss ended, both from being touched by the words and being worried - because even after all this time he didn't understand the simple fact that he deserved all the affection and love he got.

She didn't say any of that out loud though - she couldn't explain it the way it needed to be explained. So she just grinned and said: "I hope you meant it as a compliment!"

Nathan just chuckled.

"I'll sure as hell buy you waffles tomorrow."

They layed down again, this time he hugged her as tightly and lovingly as he possibly could - and she was sure he wanted to show how much he appreciated that she didn't only remember, but also accepted his weird, yet cute habit. The duvet was over them, making the position even more comfortable.

The whales were quietly singing in the background - and when Nathan's breathing slowed down, she carefully moved not wake him up, and observed his expressions. He fell asleep. Peacfully, calmly, next to her. She felt happy, because she knew he'll at least get some well deserved rest.

As she looked at him, she had the urge to just climb out of bed and steal his camera, only to take that perfect shot Mr. Jefferson was always talking about. But she knew better then to move - he's probably a light sleeper. This wasn't the right time for experiments.

That night, after three long days, she finally slept well next to the person who she loved the most.

#life is strange #nathan prescott x reader #nathan prescott #life is strange x reader #fem!reader #nathan prescott x fem!reader

[morallyinept]

A full transcribe of JAVIER PEÑA'S dialogue/lines from the TV show NARCOS.

S1/E4 - THE PALACE IN FLAMES

Includes full dialogue, and dialogue from any deleted/additional scenes available.

I've created this as a point of reference when writing for Pedro's characters, and I hope you find it useful. Even if you just want to read the dialogue. 🖤

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

☝🏻Dialogue has been fully transcribed by myself using reference to original scripts (if available), audio subtitles and using my own two ears. Therefore, mistakes can be made, however I have tried to be as fully accurate as I can. If you spot an obvious mistake, please kindly let me know. Where audio is not clear, I have marked with *inaudible* Scenes are separated for ease of reference.

FULL SCRIPT DIALOGUE:

Murphy, join the party, huh?

What’s wrong?

You gotta let it go, man. There’s good that came out of this. 

No, we didn’t kill him… Escobar did. And now we get to go after that motherfucker. Look on the brightside, huh?

__________________

Our government will provide money, men, weapons-

Let me take care of that.

__________________

All due respect, but Colombian cocaine has killed more Americans than Soviet Troops. 

__________________

Yeah, it’s a fucking joke. 

The CNP has zero chance of capturing him with that bullshit. 

Use what little we got to try and even the odds. 

__________________

(In Spanish) Thank you for seeing me, General. 

(In Spanish) With all due respect, General Jaramillo, I propose Horacio Carrillo. 

(In Spanish) Well, I don’t want him to follow. I want him to lead. Go ahead. 

__________________

I fucked up. 

No, Jaramillo’s sending a message. He’s telling me I got his price wrong. He’s setting Carillo up for failure, and when he does fail, he’ll fire him for incompetence, and me and you, we lose the only cop we can trust. 

Nice to meet you. 

No, actually, I’m CIA. But that’s classified, so don’t tell anybody. I’m here to hunt communists and prevent a Marxist invasion from Cuba. The janitor thing, what, that was you?

No, it’s just a cover. 

Mm-hm.

Perfect. 

__________________

The only way to surprise him is an aerial assault. 

Just remember that you wanted all in. 

__________________

Fuck.

Jaramillo’s running the show. He’s pissed we only gave him a hundred grand. He’s not letting us make any copies of anything. 

None of it can leave the room. 

Ellis McPickle?

Take ‘em.

Just stuff ‘em down your pants. 

Do you want to catch Pablo or not?

Because they’ll suspect me. They won’t suspect you. 

They’re not gonna search a white boy, okay? You’re a guest in their country. 

Just do it. 

Sometimes you gotta do bad things to catch bad people. 

__________________

(In Spanish) These are from the narcos’ accounts in Miami. A cashier’s check payable to Ellis McPickle. 

(In Spanish) Obviously, it’s an alias. No Colombian would go by the name “Ellis McPickle.”

(In Spanish) A gringo?

(In Spanish) What’s his name? 

(In Spanish) Suárez, do you ever worry what will happen to you if Pablo finds out that you work both sides? 

(In Spanish) Yeah? Then prove it. What else can you tell me about McPickle?

__________________

A friend of mine told me about this place, I’ve never been here before. You know I’m serious. 

Oh my God, that’s Freckles. I know her. 

Or should we say McPickle? 

(In Spanish) Hi Vanessa. 

__________________

Have a seat, Barry. 

You seem awful relaxed for someone who’s facing life in the clink. 

Yeah, according to the records, you made stops in Cuba and Nicaragua. 

An ex-CIA man making stops in communist countries with or without cocaine, that would be considered treason by the US Justice Department, wouldn’t it? 

Using Cuba and Nicaragua as refuelling stops for coke shipments, that’s treason and trafficking. 

That’s right.

Yeah? What’s that?

__________________

Holy shit. 

Wati, wait, wait. No. This leaks wide and Barry Seal is a dead man. We gotta be careful. 

I have a code of ethics when it comes to informants. 

You know, I wouldn’t judge Carillo. 

You had a partner killed. He’s had a dozen. 

__________________

Motherfucker! I told you we had to be careful. You got Barry Seal killed. 

You’re responsible for his death, asshole. 

__________________

(In Spanish) There’s no way out, Carlitos. You're going to Disneyland. 

__________________

I am. Well, what have we here? 

__________________

Well, come on in. 

Put the gun away. Put it away. She told me who she is. Put the gun away. 

Murphy… calm down. 

Your wife brought her to me. 

Because she can prove that Pablo was behind the palace siege. 

__________________

Well, she’s M-19. Noonan would have to turn her over to the Colombian military and then she gets disappeared. I’d like to avoid another Barry Seal situation. 

Look, all she did was warn us. She’s not on anybody’s radar. She’s not involved in anything. 

__________________

Was it a coincidence the extradition evidence against him was destroyed? 

We have a confidential informant. 

No, I am not. 

__________________

FULL MASTERLIST OF PEDRO CHARACTERS DIALOGUE

#pedro pascal #javier peña #javier pena #pedro pascal characters #javier pena narcos #javier pena dialogue #pedro pascal character dialogue

[nothorses]

There’s this otherwise-good post going around about not automatically believing the latest dumb yelling about “x trans woman is a pedo/other hurtful lie” but one of the things on there is “claims that they’re a non-binary exclusionist.” And it’s like. Being any sort of binary trans person doesn’t preclude you from being transphobic. This is true of trans men too. Yes you should always verify anything you hear before acting or publicizing/spreading claims but. You don’t get a free pass on calling people theyfabs just because you’re binary trans, and it’s not really on par with calling people pedos or telling lies about how people are secretly bigots. I feel like a certain subset of messages like “this person consistently makes aphobic jokes/ calls people sock or theyfab/ talks about aggro t-bros” that get discarded because the people affected just aren’t considered queer enough to care about.

ngl my first thought with that is that they're probably referring to the Contrapoints/Natalie Wynn stuff.

And like, without getting too into the weeds about it: she has said and done some stuff that very understandably rubs some people the wrong way. She's also made a huge effort to throw her support behind the nonbinary community, created hours of video content discussing and defending nonbinary identity, and has, after these issues with her were brought up, openly apologized for the things she has said that she agrees were poorly-worded/downright hurtful, or even damaging. And she is still framed as a nonbinary exclusionist, imo in no small part because she's a trans woman who made enough of a mistake that a harassment campaign could take hold.

And you're right, binary trans people can be and often are transphobic- and all of the issues you've outlined in this ask are 100% true and correct and important. I don't know the intentions behind the op, I haven't even seen the op, and I don't even know if op knows who Natalie Wynn is.

But like... my point here is just that I think what you're telling me the op said could also be an extremely valid and relevant point, in the right context.

People will use any number of things as an excuse to harass trans women; to use Natalie as an example again, her mentions were full of people accusing her of transmisogyny after she posted a video in which she spent about 10 minutes (of like 90) explaining the unique struggles with transphobia that trans men face.

And trans women can absolutely be transmisogynistic too! But hopefully you see my point here- i.e., that the veracity of an accusation doesn't depend on how often accusations like it are made to hurt marginalized people.

#also to be perfectly honest #as a trans person who has been the subject of a literally years-long harassment campaign w/ associated accusations and horrifying claims #all because I am trans (and wouldn't validate their accusations against another trans person made because he is trans) #I'm a little bit biased in favor of trans people who have been the subject of harassment campaigns.

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2023: #18

18. AUSTRIA Teya & Salena - "Who the hell is Edgar?" 15th place

Decade ranking: 51/116 [Above Ronela, below Jeangu]

OOOOOH MIO PADRE, I'VE GOTTA ROAST ME SOME BARBIES, ooooooooooh no.

It does NOT pay to be funny, sadly. Yeah, I wish I didn't have to go there, but sometimes the stars just don't align. With Loreen and Pasha being reunited and the year generally being mediocre, Liverpool 2023 already had enough parallels with Baku 2012. The "preshow obsession has a disappointing live" part I could have done without.

Like seriously. Was there ever a more slam-dunk end of contest favourite for me than TeyaLena? (well other than You Know Who, but we'll get there). My recent faves were Think About Things, Shum and In Corpore Sano. All uptempo, all enjoyable, all secretly very clever entries, eating and mothering (or in Da­ði's case brothering) as THE act on everyone's lips as the dust settled. Edgar was one of two entries who could have been The One for this year!!! But as Poe Poe Poe became Poo Poo Poo I'm forced to pack up my praise pen and bring out my critical analysis quill :-/

Fortunately, like the ladies, I am such a good writer, so enjoy this lengthy review, which is more like a vivisection:

ON THE FLAWS OF 'WHO THE HELL IS EDGAR?'

The first instinct would be to say that the song was impossible to bring, but I don't buy into that logic. "Edgar" was great, a vision, and absolute fucking BANGER. That's the hill, I'll die on. Despite the flaws of its live, I will always cherish it as a song.

Granted, the song was a lot of things at once. That's what made it both iconic and live liability. You try to explain to a layman casual audience member what Edgar is about. How it satirizes the music industry. How self-deprecating it is. What an API is. What an A&R is. What the 0.003 stands for. Now do that in the THIRTY SECONDS TIME FRAME it takes for the video teaser to play. You can't. You can be the best commentator or the most eloquent eurovision-obsessed guncle. Also, you're making me think with your words. Thinking bad. ME WANT ENJOY SHOW. ME WANT GOOD TIME, NO THINK.

So, there's two approaches you can take here, if you play to win.

The first by embracing the campness and going full ham, which how the televote countries would handle it. Your Moldovas, Ukraines, Finlands, Serbias, Norways. Hand Edgar over to one of them, and TeyaLena would start bent over a laptop or typewriter, harrassed by ravens or men in Edgar Allen Poe costumes, who would so a possessed zombie dance while TeyaLena try to escape the clutches.

Naturally, such an act requires less effort from the performers and could be seen as an easy cop-out by juries (die, juries!) and result in a loss of points and well, Austria don't play that way. Austria don't have a built in televote base and feel they are better off playing for the same juries that would normally reject an Edgar.

So instead they went for option two: embrace the hyperpop and try to build momentum off its hyperactivity. Fair enough, that's less interesting and safe, but a valid choice that can result in a very good time.

On this occasion though, it was a MISTAKE.

The best part about Edgar was the combination of dumb hyperpop memes with clever satire, and the staging ignored the latter completely. It showed Edgar Allan Poe TWICE, and then spliced in the Spotify reference in the background without context. That was all the act did with the satire. They should have named this song "Where the hell is Edgar?". The vague references only work when the entire audience is already in on the joke, otherwise it's a three mins of braincell murder. If a pleb tuned in blind (over 75% of the audience), tough luck on them for trying to make sense of it all. SHOULD HAVE FOLLOWED ESC ON TIKTOK!!!.

Bottom line: THE STAGING WAS PEDANTIC.

Thematic acts can alleviate that problem. Think Konstrakta's spa tableau vivant, Katryna's tron aureole, the presence of Gagnamagnið on the stage alongside Daði Freyr. This year we had Vesna's hexaplet choreography, Käärijä's ballroom dancers, Loreen's panini press, Gustaph's motivational graphics, even Alika's fucking self-playing piano applies to this principle. All of these did well, the competent ones with juries, the camp ones with the tv. Intuitive but thematically fitting visual cues that instinctively get the vibe across without requiring the audience to ponder it too deeply (or become a parody, I SEE YOU, France.) that's what effecive staging is about. Now compare the above good stagings to what Austria came up with: Four dancers in Samanta Tina garb, some more created by the LEDs in the background, and a VERY basic choreography. This is not a just simplification but a dumbing down. Every visual cue comes across as nonsensical, because nothing quite ties it together with the music. If only the song itself had provided us with a clear visual reference point, huh?

Of course, a dumbed down staging concept could still yield a good result despite itself if the live was teeming with energy and bounced off in every direction to match the music. Folks would be voting based on pure performance skill and nothing else. After all, Ewnicorn bluffed its way into third on that very principle. Sadly, neither Teya nor Salena were versed in the art of singing and dancing at the same time.

So ultimately, you're given this awkward performance where Teya acted really well and produced delectable facial expressions - I mean who doesn't love THIS:

-but failed to harmonize with Salena, while Salena hit most of her notes but clearly struggled with the Dietmann's simplistic, toddler-like choreography, like a Leila Jane or Mirud on stilts. Nice that they complimented each others weaknesses by showcasing opposite talents, but if you wanna do well just get yourself a girl who can do both.

And there we have it, Teya and Salena. High Risk, High Reward usually plays out for the better, but this is one such occasion where the high risk was avoided and the just reward was a disappointing score on the middle of the scoreboard. Such is the price of not embracing your queer-coded campness in Eurovision. We have landed in mild-like hell, just like Nina Zilli and Jonsi and all the others that I wish I could love more, but sadly did not live up to their initial hype. That too is life. Onward to better things, and things will surely get good as we move forward, right?

THE RANKING

#Eurovision 2023 #Eurovision Song Contest #ESC #ESC 2023 #Liverpool 2023 #Eurovision #Austria #Teya and Salena #Who the hell is Edgar? #Edgar Allen Poe #Youtube

[gullinbusti]

ABOUT ME PLEASE READ

👇👇👇

: my name is Ponchos with the s, and I tend to sometimes change my name a lot so call me either Boris or ponchos if that ever happens, in the mean time that's me, and I'm a young artist (14 levels) and I'm just here to make jokes and make people enjoy my art and stuff like that and me in general

What I allow/accept/do✅

- Take asks and requests

- repost my art (credit me)

- can use and even copy my art style (just credit me as the original artist for the style)

- use my brushes if I ever show them (no credit)

- use my art as banners, highlights, pfps, edits, etc (credit me)

- you can use my art as reference to your art or other things

- you can draw my ocs don't ask for permission go crazy with them (just credit me as the creator of them)

--------------------

What I won't allow/accept/do❌

- I won't take bs from people who talk crap about me

- personal questions (unless I give you permission)

- stupid questions like "why do you follow this artist" or stuff like that if yk

- Karens

- people who come up with assumptions without knowing the full picture

- ofc claiming my art as yours (if I find out I won't get mad I'll just tell you not to do it again)

- draw nsfw +18 kind

------------------------

This blog:

: my blog is 15-16 plus but not nsfw kind of art

------------------------

This artist

: I'm a nice and kind guy, when people make mistakes both towards me or others I do my best to help them out and I'm a very forgivable person (I forgive people very easily if they say sorry and admit what they did was wrong) I'm a joker, I make a lot of jokes that most people won't take enjoyment in so when I make a joke you find offensive just remember it's a joke there is no need to start up stuff cause everyone does it (but if it really hurt you emotional dm me and I'll stop) I will post randomly, I'm always on the internet but I gotta get interest into drawing something before doing it (I'm sorry but I can't force myself) so I'm active but at the same time not (?) But not the kind I disappear for a whole month or week, just for a day or two but besides that. I'm also a Christian, I learning christian so I'm still in the young stages of that, and I'm bi :|....yeah.

Okay that's it good talk🤫🧏

Note this is my persona

#ponchos.txt #read this its information of me #mini me

[rivilu]

Watched absolution because I saw a certain spoiler and was intrigued, loooonggg post of spoilers and thoughts under the cut

Are we are really surprised the supercop zealot is bioware's canon divine? lmao.

I generally liked the cast of characters quite a lot, Roland Lacklon and Qwydion most of all, Miriam is cool too, just not top spot for me. she's like. Number 4 on my list. Of surviving characters that is.

Rip Fairbanks. Made the rookie Ser Jory mistake of mentioning his loving wife more than once within the intro of the series. You will be missed.

The writers really said make them think we will finally switch up the Mage Is Always The 'Traitor' reveals (that aren't even true for games 1 and 2 but the joke is marketable so who cares for accuracy right) but then just do the same thing again. I have a feeling they think they are playing 4d chess when really it's just predictable.

The action was well executed and I liked the romance with Roland and Lacklon, it was cute :)

The show handled Tevinter better than I expected but my expectations were subterranean so that doesn't mean much.

Still don't care for the way bioware deals with blood magic. With Dorian we finally had a smart opinion on it [that the writers didn't try to stamp out or treat as stupid, sorry Merrill]- that it's simply a tool as long as there's no victims, but here we backpedal again into the narrative going 'anyone that even THINKS of blood magic is and always will be evil full stop'. Yes we're talking about a Magister here i'm not defending Rezaren in specific I'm just weary of how they'll treat it going forward.

Speaking of the guy, he was fine as a villain. pretty decent portrayal of a guy whose position of power deludes him into thinking his goal is noble and righteous no matter what, even to the detriment of the people he's supposedly trying to help, because well. He never saw them as people in the first place. 'Family' maybe, whatever that's supposed to mean to him, but still property. Things he gets to do whatever he wants to do with.

Miriam using his harrowing as an example of a moment he chose not to defend her or her brother though, is kinda meh. Bc girl, he was actively trying and failing not to get possessed, his mother's the one to blame for that specific instance and you KNOW it, I know we had to see that scene for exposition but i'm peeved jdshfjd I bet there were maaany more backstory examples of him being shit to choose from anyhow.

There was an Attempt at moral grayness at least two times in the show, with Tassia and Hira, and they are both... interesting.

Tassia imo does it better, as as the knight commander she can be safely [and firmly] put in the villain box, but the added levels of grey with her caring for her people's safety, opposing the venatori etc make her interesting to watch in a way where I may not be rooting for her but I don't want her to die either, yanno? She's a bit like if Aveline were an anti-villain, and actually decently well written at that. She gets spot 5 of my list.

Now Hira. Is a prisoner of that good ol Mage Betrayal Russian Roulette. I'd seen a small spoiler about her being up to no good before watching, but even without that, when Fairbanks stabbed her I could just SNIFF that red herring. Again, the writers may think they're playing 4d chess but I know not making a mage (or more) the villain, is to them what apples are to doctors. Then her motivation is just. Not convincing to me. Her family was influential tevinters that wanted to improve conditions for the oppressed, then they were killed and/or ran out the country by the venatori for it. so... she jumps right to ethnic cleansing as the solution?

(And I do mean right to it. She did go to the inquisition first but that's what she wanted to get out of it.)

Collateral damage is a funny way of referring to innocent people's lives queen!

Idk something about that feels familiar. Betrayal, a mage that jumps to genocide, yet said mage is somehow granted more lenience by the narrative than that stance should EVER allow? Because here's the thing. no matter HOW fucked a country is, how terrible the politics and power structures are, 'wiping the country out' IS NEVER A MORALLY GREY THING. IT'S AS BLACK AS IT GETS. it is the power structure itself that must be targeted. (you know, the thing Anders tried to do and gets eternally condemned for?) Wanting to massacre an entire population is not an opinion that's up for discussion, it is not worthy of redemption, and it should not be written as if it is. This pattern of character writing is just. Concerning to me. Some of the characters with the most morally bankrupt stances being passed off as grey. And I could get far deeper into it here, nearly did in fact, but It's a tad too late in the night for a 5 page essay on fantasy and real world politics intersection. I'll just leave it at ''bioware's centrism is doing what centrism does best and blinding them to their world's actual political power dynamics and I think it's going to bite them in the ass sooner or later''

But enough of that, let's try to get back to something funny shall we?

The cheese jokes. Bioware please, the horse, stop, stop it's already dead!

(i dont actually mind but that was my original reaction so here you go sdfhjs)

Dragon cool. Like that it stays alive.

ok, sorry that's all I got. We have to tackle the elephant in the room now folks and i'm afraid I am not optimistic.

So. Meredith motherfucking Stannard is still alive and kicking. And while I can completely understand why people are excited, AN ACTUALLY GOOD VILLAIN IS BACK, WOOHOO! -i just can't help but think. When? When will this plot thread be handled? Because as much as I wish the titular character of dreadwolf would drop dead by act one, I highly, highly doubt it hjsdfjf. And if she can't be the main villain, or at least what Howe was to Loghain, then I don't want her to be in da4. Because that game has SO MUCH SHIT to tackle, with Elven Gods and Titans, the egg and also Antiva and the Qunari now for some fucking reason? Frankly I don't think they can even do THIS sum of things justice in a single game, unless things with the gods take a different turn and they aren't what solas said/villains for us to fight (please I hate the slavery thing so fucking much just for once retcon something to the benefit of religious minorities bioware i'm fucking BEGGING) so adding Meredith to the mix is not something I can picture working out. I don't want to get excited for her to be back (She was the spoiler that got me to watch the series) only to have it be a repeat of the templar/mage war in inq where she's lukewarmly taken out by act 1.

Also before I do an all in all, we all got that Hira is getting Played right. Like I dont like her much(at all), as stated previously, but she's still a mage. working for Meredith motherfucking Stannard. Is it too early to call her eventually dying from that dumbass decision orrr..? Because yes girly, she also wants to genocide your home country, but she has VERY different reasons from you and you're almost guaranteed to be first on the chopping block the moment the red lyrium cracks. (i dont find this bullet point bad writing btw this is just razzing the characters for fun jhsdj)

ok so all in all. the show's alright. I highlighted more of the bad than the good here because anything past da2 has that effect on me sadly, but the characters do Carry as per usual. And i'd say it's worth a watch for the action shots alone. Some of my fears of Bioware's direction were confirmed, and i am still not at all enthused about da4, but if a season two comes out I'll probably watch it. unnecessarily long post over, adiós.

#dragon age absolution spoilers #dai critical #da:i critical #bioware critical #cassandra pentaghast critical #solas critical #just to be safe #negative #shut up river #I am still reeling about Memory being tortured into being a demon as well #that was a good starting villain moment but MY GODS YOU FUCKER #an old spirit of wisdom that has witnessed SO MUCH and held SO MUCH HISTORICAL KNOWLEDGE just fucking GONE #screaming into the void #also the fact that hira is a rare case of a character against the inquisition #and her reason for it is that they didn't want to? Pull a scortched earth on tevinter????? #Bruh moment #So many valid things to hate and YET #and. I don't know. I've seen some people interpret the burn everything line more charitably #but I'm simply not willing to trust that someone willing to bargain a different person's life and freedom #someone who trusts and /loves/ her so deeply; just to get what she wants #is good enough a person to warrant that charitable reading #jsjada maybe i'll be proven wrong. But hope is low

[ldobmm]

I really hate to bring things like this to the TL again. But much like before, I am blocked by the account and cannot directly respond on there so, ill do my best without proper ss from the post.

Some of you by now may have seen a “call out” post by the CC creator Tomiochan. Now, while I do not condone death threats of any sort, none were ever sent to him directly, and instead a friend of mine used a joke in poor taste in a server that none of us are in any longer. As far as myself in those ss, I absolutely did call Tomio an “asshat”. Now whether it was my business or not, I felt as if the way he talked to his boyfriend when he made a mistake in the server to be super rude. I felt bad. Thus the reason I called him an asshat 😭 and I stand by that and anything else I said 100% because I can own up to my words.

Now before you go throwing stones at me, I said that in the comfort of a GC with people I felt were safe! Two of them I am no longer friends with which explains the screenshots now being brought to light. Was it wrong? Sure. Words are harsh. People certainly talk bad about me too in their own spaces. Nothing I can do about that. I was still respectful on spaces I shared with Tomio. Yes, I thought he was an asshole. No that doesn’t mean I thought he was a terrible person. I had an opinion based on interactions I saw. It really was that simple. We have our ways. I know I do too and I can certainly be accountable.

As far as some of the stuff he said about pulling the race card? Well ill let the ss from the conversation speak for themselves because I pulled no race cards and was left baffled at the attempts to twist what I was saying 😭 For reference I am vi_ncu in these and DABI (discord handle). No I am not Kiya. Those ss are not of me. I don’t know why he was adamant about that being me.

Im getting extremely tired of non black POC and white people in this community making me out to be this extreme aggressor who manipulates people, but then hitting 0 points when attempting to call me out. All because of someone im friends with who happens to be younger than me. The emphasis on our ages is also extremely odd as well. They are grown, as am I. The anti black undertones I have been subjected to time and time again are becoming exhausting and quite frankly, annoying. I will be accountable and admit when I am wrong. But I promise me having an opinion about someone, with my friends, is not as harmful as this is being made out to be. And I apologized if my words hurt. Thats all I could offer. Anyway, all of you have critical thinking skills so I implore you to use those while reading all of this. Im completely fine with being wrong, but I won’t be slandered without full context and made to be some monster. Heres the full convo of when I was confronted. (Sorry some of these ss are so bad I was on my phone 😭)

Having to attach these ss a bit all over the place because you can only post 10 so im super sorry about that! Check quotes for the rest of the ss.

#the pepe emote was necessary too like im very sorry but all of this was so unserious #and the constant is it because in asian? #like 😐 #im just.. #idk man #i had to insert the ss super weird because tumblr not has a 10 photo limit 💔 #so some are attached in the quote!

[androgynousblackbox]

I looked into the video James Somerton talks about his HP merch in and made some screenshots. He's not full on bawling per say, but it's sure something. (An Over-Emotional Look at Why JK Rowling is Bad)

Screenshots: https://imgur.com/a/UwFPhZ7

He waxes quite long how for some kids HP was essentially a safe space from the real world, the characters were their friends and family and so on. The books are the fans' property now, she might legally own it but the brand is nothing without the fans, Hogwarts is home for an entire generation yadda yadda. You'd have to see the smug head shake when saying "I'm not letting her have the power to take it away from me", wow. Just wow.

Coincidentally, here's a 2 HOUR LONG video by the youtuber Shaun calling out just some of the weird and highly problematic shit in HP books: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1iaJWSwUZs

Jesus fucking christ, what a terrible ass fucking video from a terrible ass person.

slow clap

Truly, how brave of Serial Plagiarist Somerton to decide that he, as a cis binary man, can wear his HP backpack without feeling like he is contributing and supporting TERF ideology. And how absolutely nice of him to not make a single fucking mention during this one hour jerk fest of "I am good, uwuw, believe me, I am good!" of how to actually support trans people.

A big chunk on the video relies on the assumption that Serial Plagiarist is NOT bad, okay? He is not a bigot, okay? He said so. He has trans friends to whom he wouldn't talk about Joanne Karen so OBVIOUSLY he couldn't have any hidden bias or blind spots. Forget the fact about how he denied that Rowling "did anything explicitely racist" at the start. He met his first black person at 16 so that means he is not a bigot. But as soon he tries to convince me of that, he does share the opinion that the phrase "people who menstruate" sounds "off", that it's "deshumanizing" (he ommited explain how me, a person who menstruate, against my will I might add, should care about what a cis man's opinion about a completely accurate description that is relevant to menstrual related health) so OF COURSE he understands why people had a problem with it. It's very fucking understandable. Nevermind the amount of trans people who were already calling that already or the mountains of afab people who defended the terminology as being inclusive and fine. Serial Plagiarist is not a bigot because he said so. That is the only thing you need to remember.

Strike one.

Serial Plagiarist of Queer Authors didn't talked either about the pen name of J. Karen is the name of a conversion therapy supporter, even though in Twitter trans people and actual allies who listen to us always point that out.

Strike two.

At some point he says that the fanfiction communities exploded only after the books were finished. I was on HP fanfiction communities at 14 before the fifth book came out and it was the largest fandom at the time. I am talking about the hispanic fandom so the english one must have been huge too. How does he have the confidence of just saying such blatantly wrong information, I have no clue.

Like, he says "we were loving, kind, accepting people… that is why we had to defend J. Karen" like… he actually is making the argument that he is a good person at heart and he had no agency, no responsability, no autonomy at all and no bias anywhere when he decided to defend J. Karen and ignore criticism until it was too late. It's giving Shane Dawson pushing for his shitty "I am such an empath uwuw" whenever people would call him out on blackface or whatever shitty unfunny joke he made. "I am a good person, therefore, if I did anything wrong it was a mistake and that doesn't reflect my values or who I am", like fuck it does.

That phrase "I won't let her take that power away from me" appears before on the video refering to trans people having HP related tattooes to spite Rowling. So he took this sentiment from trans people and decided to apply it to himself… a white cis binary guy, and he thought he was doing fucking something.

I swear I almost lose my fucking mind when this piece of shit really bring out syrian refugees grabbing HP books with them and being all "is it really fair to ask them to give that up?". The same man who literally groaned and complained about how he can't guy a fucking lego set has no fucking business in hell comparing his need for scapism with these people. He had no fucking business to pretend like he has the same power of reclamation that trans people have. He had no fucking business doing this whole fucking charade of "I am not letting her take that power away from me uwu" when he never, EVER, was the most affected person on any of this and NEVER had any power taken away from him. While he was playing the smallest violin for himself from the inside of his ass, he barely even touched on the real life impact that J. Karen had on making the lives of trans people actively worse. He didn't say anything about how laws are inspired by her or how hateful and violent people she had little tea parties with. It's like he thinks all she did was some offensive tweets, a bad books, a manifesto and done. That no further impact and didn't harm anyone.

He wants to play the victim on all of this so fucking hard and it's embarassing. This is giving me Sarah Z bringing up the fucking Turner Diaries to talk about problematic fanfiction. It's the exact level of otherwordly lack of self awareness. No fucking wonder they are best buddies.

#james somerton sucks