#fr when I was first watching the show I expected it to be ass based on what people kept saying and then??

[euaphoric]

𝟎𝟏. 🥛 ✶𓏲ּ “ i want to sew all my love into you ” — [ 정국이 ]

he was comfort, security, and need, all in one. it had a name; home <3

pairing ◞⁺⊹ husband!jk x wife!reader genre ◞⁺⊹ married/domestic au, pwp, slight age difference (jk is older by 5 years)

warnings ◞⁺⊹ insane tooth-rotting fluff bc i’m in need of high dopamine levels, cute n soft smut, you’re a clingy wifey, minor mentions of anxious/sad thoughts, o/c is kinda whiny and hella attention/touch-starved, o/c just misses her bby fr, daddy kink, major impreg kink, foreplay, they get all sentimental n mushy gushy at the end agghhh, aftercare bc koo is the literal definition of the perfect husband ^_^ wc ◞⁺⊹ 4.6k

音楽 — eyes locked, hands locked by rv

i’m vv excited to be back and writing again, i missed it sm ;(( i did this poll i few days ago and this idea won but i’ve decided to write them all so this is the first of three !! (〃ﾉωﾉ)ﾟ+°

summer days grew humid, each was hotter than the last. though it isn’t your least favorite season, you prefer to spend most of your time indoors as the heat often makes you feel faint and the air can be suffocating. usually these lazy, torrid afternoons were shared with your lovely husband, either you two would be laid up on the sofa or in bed watching your favorite shows/movies but today went a little off schedule.

you were all alone in your bedroom, feeling a bit sulky as your husband wasn’t around to tend to your needs or give you any affection. it’s not jungkook’s fault though; he’s been toiled away since this morning, offering to help your parents move and rearrange some of the new furniture that arrived today. you decided to stay at your family beach house this summer for a change of scenery, you hadn’t been here since you were seventeen, let alone seen your parents in person since last year. spending some quality time together has been long overdue and you couldn’t be any happier about it.

both your parents absolutely adore jungkook, they thought he was the sweetest, kindest, most generous person they’ve ever met— which says a lot considering they’ve never been a fan of anyone you dated previously. when you introduced him to them a few years ago, they had slightly pre-judged him based off his outward appearance, assuming that he wouldn’t be the type to take relationships seriously or even want to settle down and get married someday. but not even hours later their perceptions of him changed drastically, your parents could tell that he was a genuine soul who loved you unconditionally and would do absolutely anything for you.

that very same day, your mom spoke with you privately to express her virtuous first impressions, saying how much she loves him already and this is who you should’ve been dating from the start. your parents had extremely high standards for your future partner, especially your mom— but jungkook exceeded every single one of their expectations, checking all the boxes off their list. “i can tell just by the glint in his eyes whenever he looks at you… he’s more than in love, he’s infatuated. the way he talks about you as if you’re the most wonderful thing to have ever came into his life— he’s definitely going to be the one you’ll marry.” your mom gets all teary eyed as she spoke those last few words, picturing her one and only daughter all grown up, in a beautiful wedding dress, finally getting to see you live your happily ever after.

not even a couple months after graduating from uni you got engaged to the love of your life, proudly getting your degree you worked your ass off for and becoming a soon to be wife. you had to move across the country for a job offer of a lifetime but it was worth it, jungkook was beyond supportive in any decision you made and was there with you every step of the way, holding your hand through it all.

shortly after moving, you two got married and the rest was history, it was stressful dealing with so many life changing events all within a span of such a short time but you somehow managed. had it not been for jungkook’s constant encouragement and willingness to work/talk things out, you would’ve been a complete trainwreck. he was the balance you needed to keep yourself afloat, you felt so lucky, more than blessed to have a caring, understanding man like him.

the more you daydream about him, the more you wished he was holding you right now. you’re feeling lonely, so empty, and a little sad, his absence fills your mind with restless thoughts, hoping that he’ll come to your rescue soon enough. before jungkook, you were highly independent, never needed anyone to take care of you because you did everything for yourself; he never gave up on gaining your trust and has shown time and time again how dependable he is. you’ll forever admire how much effort he’s put into getting to know you over the years, that no one’s ever came close to making you feel the way he does— so high as if you’re soaring through the sky, living in heaven on earth.

he was the main provider of the household, you didn’t have to worry about anything nor lift a finger, all you did was focus on your career. you had a worry free lifestyle, the perfect job, perfect husband, what was there to possibly complain about? most aren’t so fortunate to be in your position so you never took any of it for granted. you love him more than anything in this world, you couldn’t stand to be away from him for another minute, you miss your hubby so much :( you craved his presence near you, needing him around you physically, wanting his soothing touch to ease your mind.

you wanna feel his sunkissed skin against yours, his warmth, the way his scent clouds your senses as he trails kisses down the curve of your neck, tangling your fingers in his dark, wispy hair. you want to lay your head on his broadened chest while snuggling up into him, hearing the gentle sounds of his heartbeat, intertwining your small hands with his large ones. you desire for him to kiss you everywhere, leaving no surface of you going untouched, pinning your body down between him and the mattress, like a flower pressed into the pages of a book and all that’s written is his name over and over. so many different scenarios play in your head as a means to pass the time, but they can only keep you sane for so long.

you’ve grown desperate for him at this point, finally coming out of your room to see what he might be up to now, searching the entirety of the house. you ended up finding him downstairs in the living room with your mom right beside as verbal assistance, not only did he lift and move most of the furniture but now he’s helping to mount up the new TV without even breaking a sweat in the process. was there anything he couldn’t do? probably not, he was a man of endless talents. your dad was sent out to go grocery shopping so your husband was pretty much doing everything on his own while your mom simply watches in amusement.

she was yet again impressed by your husband’s handy work, “wow jungkook, you’re really strong!” he was indeed. now you’re getting flashbacks to when he’d manhandle you and lift your body with ease in one swift motion to switch positions. his hands needed to be all over you right this second or else you’ll simply die of attention starvation. “mom, are you gonna keep him busy all day? ‘m getting really boreddd.” you childishly whine as if you weren’t a fully grown, married adult. to be fair though, it’s been hours since you’ve seen him and as much as you wanted to give him some space to help out around the house, you still had your needs to. the need in question being him in your bed, immediately.

“why don’t you go sit by the pool or something? you’ve been cooped up in that room since this morning, get some fresh air!” your mom suggests an alternative to wait but you shook your head in an instant, “nuh uh, too hot, i’ll melt like an ice cream cone!” you’d rather stay locked inside your air conditioned room than having to deal with the searing hot sun baking you well done at 450 degrees. “i’m almost done sweetheart, promise.” jungkook quickly reassures before hammering one of the nails into the wall, the way his veins would protrude through his arms as he repeats the action made you mindlessly clench your thighs together. he could make anything look insanely hot, it was almost unfair.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

after another twenty minutes or so he was finally done and now free to go, thrilled to have him all to yourself once again. you practically yanked his arm off as you led him up the staircase but your mom had one more thing to say, “will you be helping us tonight with dinner? i’m making your favorite!” he turns for a second to answer, “uh- yes of course !” that enthusiastic, bunny-like smile of his that you’ve grown to love for so long never fails to make you melt, just so effortlessly pretty without even trying.

but now you realize that you only have a limited amount of time with him, great… you’ll have to wait even longer to have him exactly as you’ve imagined. there’s only so much pent up sexual frustration you can take, you’ve been patient for almost eight hours. that’s probably the longest you two might’ve gone without having sex— okay maybe that’s an exaggeration but you do have a very active sex life with your husband, you try to do it at least twice a day and if you’re both feeling a little friskier it can sometimes go up to 4-5 times~.

your sex drive used to be quite low, never really seeing it as a huge necessity for you— until you met jungkook, of course. there was an immediate sexual attraction that you felt towards him, you’ve never felt so drawn to anyone before, he was irresistible. you’ve had some internal issues with your performance in the bedroom, it took a lot for you to reach your peak but could never get yourself to finish (unless you did it yourself) but with jungkook? that’s a whole different ballgame. you could simply cream in your panties just from kissing those luscious lips of his, he ignites a fire in you that’ll never wither into ashes.

once the door to your room was closed, both his hands found purchase around your waist, caging you into him and pulling you in for a deep kiss, melting right into his hold. your bodies flowing with pure lust and greed for him, not even thinking twice as your hand travels down lower to palm him through his sweats. he let out a breathy chuckle from your sudden actions once he pulled away, “someone’s feelin’ kinda slutty tonight.” he teased, which you took no offense since that’s just your collective humor.

“mhmm, ‘m only the biggest slut for you. now stop neglecting your wifey and gimme all your love.” since he hasn’t been giving you much attention all day you were acting a bit whiny about it, jungkook didn’t like that word though, neglect? that just wasn’t something in his vocabulary when it came to you. “huh? don’t ever say that again, you know i’d never purposefully neglect you, ever.” he made sure to emphasize that, he knows you weren’t being serious but it does hurt a little to know you may secretly feel this way. he loves you and you can feel it without him even needing to say it, that’s how intense it is.

“it was just a joke koo… didn’t mean it like that.” you jut your lip into a tiny pout, leaning in to kiss him again but he turns away, denying you the void of what you wanted most. “a joke is supposed to be funny last time i checked.” he retorts before sneaking off to make a beeline towards the bed, confused when you don’t follow suit after him. “what’re you standing there for? get your little butt over here.” he impatiently demands, patting his lap for you to sit on top. you listen and make your way over to him, straddling his lap with both legs on either side of him as he brings you in closer. he wraps his arms around your waist again, tightly holding you in his grasp, your frame sinks right into his chest.

he locks his lips with yours, kissing you slowly, taking his sweet, sweet time; what’s the rush? you had the rest of the night at your disposal. needy hips languidly rock back and forth against his semi hard-on, the fabric of the pajamas shorts you wore were so thin you could feel his cock throbbing underneath. you audibly gasped when he brushes up against your weak spot, it feels amazing, your panties turned into a sticky puddle from the pleasure; moaning into the kiss as he inhales your sighs. you were more than hungry for him, you were ravenous— only the taste of him could quench your avid thirst. you’re already as close as you can be but you wish to be even closer, if it was impossible you’d crawl into his skin and fuse your bones together to become one, you’re so in love it sickens you.

“need you to touch me,” you whimper for more when his lips drew from yours momentarily, “please.”

jungkook loves seeing you like this, his pretty wife acting all hot and bothered just for him, but he’d lying if he said it wasn’t the same way for you too. “where baby ?” his warm breath against you leaves a shiver to your spine, his voice low and raspy. “everywhere.” you beg in desperation, “just wanna to feel you, need you so bad…” you continued to grind your core onto his clothed erection, becoming even whinier as time passes.

he smirks at that answer, knowing that he’s the only one that can have you in this way. “need you too baby,” his tone is nothing short of a whisper, lazily rutting his hips up to match the pace of your movement, “been thinkin’ about you all day, can’t wait to fuck this little pussy.” his middle and index finds your clit to rub through your pajamas, making you bite your lip so hard it’ll leave a bruise. you’re both so horny and desperate for each other like some hormonal teens, you’re about to explode from how sensitive you are, your whole body feels tingly.

“jungkook!” a familiar voice shouts from a distance, it was muffled but you know that was definitely your mom who just called for him. “come back downstairs, i think something’s wrong with the remote, it’s not working— help !” she sounded a bit overdramatic which is how she usually is most of the time. you groan in annoyance, getting even more frustrated that you had to stop, all you want is some private alone time with your husband but no, the universe said not today! you really wanna curse your mom for being a total cock block right now .. -_-

๑ ๑ ๑

“i’m gonna put a baby in you someday.” your husband casually says while rubbing your stomach, his inked skin splayed across your bare form. “in this cute little tummy right here.” he points near your belly button, planting a small kiss to it. you two were finally alone once again and this time it was for good. after jungkook helped your mom figure out what was wrong with the remote (it wasn’t broken, she just forgot to put a new set of batteries in) and ate dinner with you and your parents, the night was bound to end like this.

this isn’t the first time he’s said something like this and it surely won’t be the last, but you burst into a giggle, “quit kidding around kook.” he’s always playing around but you can count on one hand how many times he’s actually finished inside you, since you’re not on birth control for health reasons you have to be extra careful to not end up getting pregnant. there’s been a handful of times where he’s had to run to the store and get you a morning after pill which you’d just hope for the best and leave it up to the universe. you have noticed that jungkook has been more vocal about wanting children lately, so maybe he’s hinting at finally taking the next step.

“and if i told you i wasn’t?” he shifts slightly, eyes flickering up to stare into your gaze. “would you let me paint your walls ? give you a baby so i can see my stunning wife bear our children?” the thought of you carrying his child pops into his head a lot, probably on an hourly basis— he’s more than ready to start a family, but he’s still not sure where you stand 100% on the idea. there was no pressure on his side, but it’s important to make sure you’re both on the same page.

your hands snake up to his chin, cupping it firmly, ready to make the final say once and for all. “yes koo, i’ll let you do anything to me. i trust you, i trust us.” that’s all you need to withstand through any obstacle(s), trust and trust alone. if that doesn’t exist, the foundation will be sure to crumble— disintegrating into nothing. you’ve never trusted someone as much as you do jungkook, he’s the reason you even get out of bed at times, makes you want to push yourself to become a better person. real love is the refusal to never give up on one another, even through the toughest, most ugliest moments.

what you’ve come to realize is that you have all of him and everything he’s promised to provide is all yours; his heart, his last name, his vow to stay by your side forever— through sickness and health. he’s given every single aspect of himself he has to offer, the only thing left that’s missing is a tiny addition that carries both you and jungkook’s DNA. you’re more than curious to see what the outcome will be, harboring no regrets inside. jungkook’s smile grew wider, feeling faint tears rim his eyes at the thought of you putting all your trust in him. you have no idea just how much that means to him.

his head lowers back to your torso, imprinting a trail of kisses, slowly making his way down further and further. your skin feels as if it’s on fire, boiling hot like the scorching summer heat. he took an ample amount of time to worship your body, leaving wet kisses to your inner thighs, “i’ve wanted this for so long…” he hums against your flesh, insides buzzing with raw passion and desire. “want to finally do this together.” he gently nibbles, a faint bite mark appears to which he repeats on the other side. “your tits are gonna get even bigger, more plump and so full of milk,” he continues, elated with so much enthusiasm, “that pregnancy glow will make you even more gorgeous.” he wasn’t saying all of this for nothing, he truly cannot wait to experience it all, how your belly will grow each month, all the random/weird food cravings you’ll get, and gracefully handle any sudden mood swings.

you were aching for him, you couldn’t even answer back, your heads reeling with too many thoughts— the thought of him stuffing you to the brim with his cock. you were topless but wanted him to take off the rest, wanted him to fuck you until your body physically shakes and you can’t think of anything but him being buried balls deep into your sousing cunt. you had to savour every last bit of this though, etch every little detail in your brain to replay as a supercut one day; remembering the time you two made love to conceive your first child.

jungkook’s slender digits move skillfully to hook around the waistband of your shorts, tugging them down along with your drenched panties. “it’s crazy to me how this is all mine,” he pauses to admire your glistening arousal, scooping it up with his one of his fingers to have a quick taste. saccharine. “i have the prettiest, sexiest, hottest wife in the whole fucking world.” he’ll never not compliment you, even when you’re old and gray he will always remain the same. “stopp~” you toy with your bottom lip, cheeks turning rosy at his constant sweet talk. then you become a pile of mush, simply too absorbed with pleasure as he sunk one of his digits into you, thrusting in and out slowly. “fuck.. feels s’good- please don’t stop.” you beg for this to never end, bidding all concept of time to vanish in hopes of it lasting infinitely.

“we’re going to create the most beautiful family,” he coos, licking a stripe to your clit, swiping up and down as he continued pumping his fingers in your wetness, “just you and me.” he only came up for air to say those last few lines, diving right back in to drink up your deliciousness. his tongue adds light pressure to your overly sensitive bud, making you twitch and subconsciously jolt up— his free hand forcibly brings your hips back down, locking you in place so you have nowhere to go— forced to take all that he gives you. paradise. that’s what this is. you’re already close to the edge, the broken moans that escaped your lips are like a soft ballad to his ears, cursing under your breath, panting, crying out his name repeatedly.

“ah! s’close… don’t stop, don’t stop..” you plea so pathetically, voice getting shakier as you reach your climax, his face was soaked, fucking drenched. he’ll willingly drown, submerge himself into the flood of you, no other place he’d rather be than between these perfect, plush thighs. he drives you into further insanity when his pace drew more rapid, finding the ultimate sweet spot. the lethal combination of his fingers and his tongue working to give you a mind blowing orgasm, all you could do was utter feeble, plaintive cries, latching onto his fluffy hair as you ride out your sudden high that’s stampeding into you full force. your body goes inert, limbs pliant beneath his embrace. “you did so good for me angel, m’so proud of you.” jungkook briefly pecks both your thighs, giving it a little smack once he comes back up to face you again.

he quickly discards the rest of his clothes, but everything’s moving in slow motion. his movements are frantic yet it still wasn’t quick enough, he needs to feel you so badly. his manhood throbs against your folds, sliding his shaft between the puffy, saturated lips, making such delightful sounds. “quit teasin’,” you whine, not in the mood for prolonging this anymore. he doesn’t say anything, just twisting a smile in response, but he’ll give you exactly what you want. who is he to deny his wife’s orders? so he finally enters you, filling you up little by little, inch by inch; and when he’s fully settled in, your walls clench around his length immediately. “never fails to amaze me how i fuck this little pussy on the daily but you’re still so fuckin’ tight… always squeezin’ me babe.” his breath hitched towards the end, already sounding so pussydrunk from the way you suck in the entirety of him.

your legs hook around each side of his waist, keening at the way his cock drives into you, slow but sensual, moving your hips to match his rhythm. “be good for daddy and wait for me. wanna cum together.” he husks, to which you obediently nod at his request. your jaw slacks open wide from his cock hitting your walls beautifully, each stroke he gave sent you to a further state of delirium. he picks up his speed a little more, his brain empty with no thoughts but this warm, dewy pussy swallowing him up, groaning as you leave scratches along his back. jungkook’s sweet compliments never stop, they only intensify. ‘you’re all mine, and i’m all yours baby’ ‘your face looks so pretty when it’s all fucked out’ ‘love fucking this perfect little cunt’ and ‘i love you so much, my angel baby.’ it brings you to the verge, strings of shattered moans evade your senses.

your hands greedily come up the sides of his face, pulling him in for a frenzied, yet passionate kiss caging him in just in case he has second thoughts, trapping him with no choice but to cum inside. “shit— keep going like that and you’re def getting pregnant tonight.” he groans against your lips, this only made you clench around him tighter, “please daddy- wan’ your cum, put your babies in me..” you want him to paint your walls white, milk him for all he’s worth and some. his strokes get sloppier as his high approaches, squeezing your thighs as he plunges deeper. it doesn’t take much longer for him to shoot a hefty in load inside, planting every bit of his seed as the waves of your second orgasm ripples through you. you’re both heavily panting and gasping for air, when he pulls out you’re left empty again, but at least you were stuffed with his hot cum. he looks down at the mess he’s made, sodden and creamy, picking up some that’s spilled out of your cunt to push back in. “we can’t let any go to waste, right ?” “mm… yea.” you bit your lip, still shaking, electricity flowing through your veins.

he topples over in exhaustion, way too tired to move. well, at least for now— he’ll be able to go again in another hour or so. “you’re going to be such an amazing mom,” he says while snuggling up in the crook of your neck, “remember the day i asked you out? i thought you were gonna say no.” that was random… but also jungkook is known for saying the most unexpected shit at the oddest times. “what ?” you were so confused, firstly this came out of nowhere but also why would he ever think that? it was basically love at first sight with each other. “wasn’t nearly as confident back then, i used to practice in the mirror how i’d do it.” he chuckles at those old memories, in hindsight none of it was necessary because he didn’t say any of the lines he rehearsed. defeated the whole purpose.

“since the day we first met i knew you were the girl i’d spend the rest of eternity with.” his fingers trace down your spine as he spoke, you’re so overfilled with joy that you could cry. you regret absolutely nothing, the only thing you do is all the other men who came before jungkook, all those losers who were wastes of time, but that journey has led you here and this is where you’ll stay for the rest of your life. it still feels like the honeymoon stage with him, a never ending blissful rollercoaster. “i want to sew all my love into you,” his hands danced around your skin, inhaling your natural scent, you feel so soft and smooth. “thread by thread, seam by seam, i’ll tether our intricate souls together.” you hummed to his words, he’s a romantic at heart just like you, he still writes occasional love letters to you and is always doing something to bring a smile to your face— whether it be coming home with your favorite candy, buying you flowers, or taking you out on cute, fun dates. every day is like a new surprise, never knowing what you’re gonna get when it comes to your husband’s spontaneity.

you’re both a little sticky, sweaty, and smell of nothing but pure sex. jungkook ends up carrying you all the way to the bathroom, deciding to run a nice, relaxing bath for the two of you. he adds your favorite lavender bubble bath, making the water extra bubbly and soapy for you which he knows you love. when you're both in the bathtub, your backs facing him as he uses a pink loofah to clean you up, embedding gentle kisses to the nape of your neck and shoulders as he does it. he held you for what seemed like forever, just admiring each other’s company while under the water, almost falling asleep right in his arms.

✦•┈๑⋅⋯ ⋯⋅๑┈•✦

let’s make the circle

that’s inside of us.

every day it rotates like that,

color me ☆ 彡

am trying to write longer stufff, i enjoyed writing this story a lot, lmk what you think . ! ! !

to see more chaos click here (⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ ♡♡♡ (｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡

#jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook imagines #jeon jungkook x reader #bts smut #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #jjk smut #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fic

[binniedeactivated]

txt ideal types™️ || 👾

a/n; just want to say that this is not factual! this is based on my own opinion! if you have questions on why i think this don’t be afraid to send them through ask! hope you enjoy!! 

soobin;  --- since soobin said he is the type to let his s/o lead the relationship while he sits back, LMAO i honestly think soobin’s ideal type is a girl who is confident. I say confident because someone who is shy isn’t going to be comfortable telling a guy what to do. since he’s laid back and chill most of the time i feel like he wouldn’t mind someone whose the same way. someone who he can have deep conversations with and also act crazy with when they’re both feeling a little hyperactive. I really think someone whose very bubbly and hyper would make him a little flustered because he doesn’t want to bore her by doing the things he likes, and he wouldn’t know how to keep up with her energy. soobin likes to read books, watch tv shows and eat. he likes to eat bread and ice cream all day. he doesn’t like moving. so someone whose moving and doing a whole lot of shit constantly is going to tire him out LMAO. I also think since soobin is a little messy he needs a motherly type of girl that can help him with his habits. with soobin you’ll basically be a mom, leading the relationship and cleaning after him occasionally. I also think soobin would love someone who is romantic and is sensitive when it comes to him. he loves feeling loved and cared about and knowing that there’s someone who got his back through anything and everything. he’s very affectionate and light hearted so he needs someone who isn’t mean lmao!! he doesn’t like a whole lot of roast sessions and things like that and even if he does don’t go overboard with him because he’ll get sensitive asf. 

--- as far as body type goes i feel like soobin doesn’t care. honestly. he’s really big so no matter what you’ll always be smaller than him even if you’re a little thick lmao. if you guys would like to know whether or not soob is an ass or boobs type of guy though i think he’s both. some boobs with a little ass would fluster him. all the way. he doesn’t expect much but if you’re well endowed in either, he’s going to be really touchy (with permission of course) and he’ll always make you feel comfortable in your own body. 

yeonjun; -- oh god, this boy. nah jk. i honestly think yeonjun needs someone who creative and can introduce him to new things. since he really loves music and stuff I think he would love someone who can introduce him to different types of music. he’d love stuff like his s/o making playlists for him and sending him new songs randomly. i also think since yeonjun is a big foodie he would loooveee a girl with an appetite lmao! he would love her even more if she can cook the food he likes, or cook good food in general. he would really love someone who can introduce him to new kinds of of food and feed him when he’s hungry. whether it’s spoon fed or just dropping by some food to the studio for him when it’s lunch time. despite his stage presence i think he’d love someone who is sweet and easy going. outgoing as well! since he’s very shy and timid around new people he would LOVE if his s/o approaches him first. although he’s more of the lead in the relationship, i think he would love if his s/o knows how to lead as well especially when he’s feeling needy and needs affection. he doesn’t want a girl that let’s him lead ALL the time and let’s him put in 80% while they put in 20%. he wants it to be 50/50 at least.  since he’s the oldest in the group it’s likely that he’s always taking care of the members so he needs someone who is willing to take care of him. he would also LOVE a funny girl omg. if you can make him laugh you automatically have his heart. he would love having a girl that’s also his best friend, one whom he can make inside jokes with. he would also love a stylish girl! i think if you dress well it would be easier for him to notice you since he’s very fashionable himself. he’d also never take his eyes off of you and remind you about how good you look everyday.  with that being said he would love a girl he can go shopping with! that can buy him cute shirts and clothes that matches his style. he would love it even more if you introduce him to a new kind of style. he would love dressing up and going on random dates and taking lots of pics! 

- as far as body type goes i think yeonjun would be attracted to curvier girls. he just gives me that vibe. of course he’d be attracted to any type of body type,  but i think curvy is more his thing. if you’re wondering whether he is an ass or boob type of guy i think yeonjun is an ass and thigh type. so if you’re thicker around that area expect yeonjun to be all over you. LMAO (with permission of course). 

beomgyu;  -- gyuuuuu! okay so in my opinion gyu doesn’t really have an ideal type. he’s the type of guy where it’s like, if he likes you he likes you and if he doesn’t he doesn’t. as long as you know how to treat him and like having fun with him he’d love you! in all honesty i think beomgyu is a free spirit. he likes all types of girls in every size, shape or color. he doesn’t have a preference.  just be yourself and don’t try to act too show-offy in front of him. i lowkey think beomgyu would like a motherly type of girl though and someone who is just as hyper as he is. since beomgyu is a mama’s boy he needs a girl that treats him like he’s her son LMAO but also let him be an adult too. like don’t baby him all the way but take care of him and check up on him often. he’d also love a clingy s/o. one who texts him and calls just to tell him how much they miss him. affection is key with gyu! if he can lay on your chest or cuddle with you all the time he will fall in love with you. i repeat HE WILL FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. hold his hand, kiss his cheeks and play wrestle with him. also, build a relationship with his mother! i think gyu would love someone whose close to his mom. of course don’t be a creep but make sure you aren’t a stranger to her. since gyu is family oriented when it comes to his parents i think he would really appreciate if you took the extra mile and got to know his family. he’d love taking you to daegu to spend the holidays with his family and have fun eating and making jokes with them. 

-- as far as body type goes beomgyu really doesn’t gaf. like fr. just as long as you’re confident in your body he would love you. and even if you aren’t he’d remind you about how much he likes it. if you’re wondering if beomgyu is an ass or boob type of guy though, gyu definitely loves boobs.

taehyun;  -- (my MANNNN- i mean ahem) okay so, tyun is tricky af but I pay special attention to him because of this reason. in all honesty i think tyun LOVES the game of hard to get. he likes feeling like he got it in the bag with you, but he doesn’t at the same time. he would love a girl who is very confident, smart,  and can adhere to his mind games.  reverse psychology would have him SHOOK lmao! initially i think if tyun saw a girl he likes he would make it known he likes her just by doing little stuff like being nice to her or smiling at her and stuff. he would like it if she does it back too, but not becoming too engaged. i think his whole relationship would be him and his s/o playing hard to get. the both of them know they love one another and are very affectionate but they’re also a little mean to each other as well. cracking jokes every now and again and play wrestling. don’t take it too far though! he wouldn’t like if you gave him so much cold shoulder to the point where he thinks you no longer like him. tease him a bit though, he likes feeling like he’s still trying to win your heart.  he would love a girl who is funny too and who is intelligent enough to have educational conversations if it ever came up. he’d love if his s/o does crazy shit just to make him laugh. i think he would also like someone with a slick mouth! lmaoooooo. i’m sorry but he does. tyun has a smart mouth himself so someone who can match his energy would definitely win him over. take care of him though! even though tyun claims he doesn’t love affection but he loves if his s/o kisses him all the time and cuddles him. tyun is lowkey very clingy so he’d hate to be by himself when on tours and things like that. he would love feeling like he’s needed and cared about! he would also like someone whose very thoughtful, like buying him things that reminds you of him.  

--- as far as body type goes i think tyun doesn’t care but he’s like yeonjun in way. a fashionable curvier girl would catch his eye faster. 

heuning kai; --- kaiiiii<33 in my opinion i don’t think kai has a type either. he goes with the flow really, but if you happen to joke and play with him alot he’d fall in love with you. i think kai is very quick so it doesn’t take much for him to fall in love with someone. he is the type to be a little hesitant about his feelings though. i think kai would love a girl who is just like him. who is hyper at times but knows when to be chill. I think heuning is actually very chill off camera to be honest so he’d love a girl who is the same way. honestly i think kai would like a girl whose on the sexier side. feel me? like not a cutesy type of person but someone who acts and dresses sexy, but has some cutesy traits about them. someone like that would take his heart. he would also love someone with a whole lot of humor but very sweet at the same time. someone he can laugh at anything and everything with because lord knows this boy finds everything funny asf. he would love someone that baby’s him but not too much. let him do things on his own but if he needs help that’s where you come in. he would love someone he can cuddle and kiss all the time. so if you aren’t that affectionate you wouldn’t match well with kai. he would also love a girl with an aesthetic type of fashion style! kai’s style is the epitome of a 90s sitcom teen boy crush with his baggy sweaters, baggy pants and old fashioned sneakers. i think someone who has that old-timey style as well would be really cute for him and he would love for you to dress in his clothes all the time. i think kai also likes play fighting a lot but he wouldn’t be too rough with you. be ready for that lmao! kai would also appreciate if you took time to get to know his sisters since he’s close to them. he’s kind of like beomgyu when it comes to family, he would love inviting you around them all the time so it would be amazing if you built a relationship with them. 

--- as far as body type goes kai really wouldn’t care. he’s really big so he’d love anyone smaller than him no matter their size or shape. i think a fashionable girl with a cute smile would catch his eye first though. 

#tomorrow by together #choi yeonjun #yeonjun #choi soobin #soobin #choi beomgyu #beomgyu #kang taehyun #taehyun #heuning kai #txt imagines #txt

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Definitive Ranking of Every ML Episode as of 4/22/21

Are you guys ready for this? I did the thing. You’re all welcome. Don’t ever ask me for anything again. You can watch me get progressively more unhinged in real time. 

Now, just to preface this, I did not give this too much thought. Most of these are just my gut feelings. I went through every episode and just made some snap judgments based off the lasting impressions I’ve been left with. These are my opinions. If you don’t like them, tough. And also I don’t care. Go spend 4 hours making your own damn ranking. And shut the hell up. Anyway, this is probably the longest post I’ve ever made, so I’m gonna put it all under a read more. Click on it if you have an hour to read it. Okay, here we go!

1.     Origins II- Good starting point for our heroes. Good establishment of canon ships and character dynamics. Umbrella scene literally stole my wallet. Cannot emphasis enough that I am whipped for the umbrella scene. I wrote a whole ass AU just to say how whipped I am for the umbrella scene. In the Rain will play at my wedding. Jk. Weddings are for suckers. But dammit if I don’t want these kids to get married. 10/10

2.     Origins I- Good introduction to lore. Good introduction to characters. Good establishment of status quoyo. Just good. 10/10

3.     Simon Says- Listen, I am nothing if not a shipper at heart. This episode just sparks joy. And the whole series almost ended when Gabriel almost jumped off the roof. I was really rooting for this one. This was the episode where I saw Ladrien and went yes, ma’am, I’ll have one of those. 10/10

4.     Evillustrator- Are you all surprised? Cat, the MC-skeptic ranked the pivotal MC episode so highly? Well, let me tell you all a thing, I started this fandom out a MC shipper because of this episode. Their first interaction is gold. I don’t deny that. I enjoy it. This is the MC dynamic I fell in love with. Yall toxic shippers ruined MC for me when you opened your mouths and spat in the face of Ladrien and baselessly declared MC the sin-ship. We all know it’s Ladrien. Stop kidding yourselves. Boy in leather catsuit? Please. Basic ass vanilla bitches. I’m getting off-topic. Solid episode 10/10. We love to see it.

5.     Stormy Weather- Baby’s first Miraculous episode. It holds a special place in my heart. It’s a solid episode. Good establishment of what the show is. Fun villain. Good times. Fond memories. 10/10

6.     Riposte- Listen, I know I’m an Adrinette stan, but hear me out: Ladrien. It’s just so good. And Kagami was compelling in this episode. It was just really solid. It’s my favorite s2 episode. If you ask me if I want to rewatch Riposte, the answer is always yes. 10/10. We stan.

7.     Gorizilla- Okay, so this episode has some solid Adrinette in it, but the real reason it ranks so high is that fucking Ladrien trust fall. I stare at that scene for hours, you guys. HOURS. It is absolutely just *chefs kiss*. Sometimes when I need a pick-me-up, I just go watch gifs of that catch on loop. 10/10. Beautiful. Radiant. Carefree.

8.     Gang of Secrets- I have been keeping most of my opinions to myself about s4 (mostly because I’ve backed way the hell out of this fandom), but GoS was pretty solid. Gotta say, it’s the first episode in a long time with this show that made me actually excited to see what happens next. Most other episodes I was like, okay, that was cute. The show is still meh overall. But GoS really got me like oh shit, is ML good again? 10/10 for making me feel things again.

9.     Oblivio- Told you guys this one was probably rated higher than I thought. Oblivio is just really fun. There is good Adrinette. That “No wonder I fell in love with you” paired with the softest of Adrien smiles just sends me. And the kisses. The unquestionable trust. These two kids literally woke up together alone in an elevator with no memories and said welp, you’re my boyfriend/girlfriend obviously, I don’t make the rules. Honestly, how anyone could argue that these two dorks aren’t made for each other after that episode is beyond me. 9/10

10.  Backwarder- Okay, I know I am weird and alone for this one, but I really liked this episode. It got a lot of shit for the constipation capsule thing at the end, but like who cares? We finally got some more backstory on Fu. He got a love-interest who is dope as hell. This episode is my favorite lucky charm use ever. Like that queen DID that. I like Backwarder, guys! Fuck off. 9/10.

11.  Kwamibuster- We all know I am a Marinette-stan by this point, but our girl was SHINING this episode. This bitch said gimme all them and let me go whoop this bitch’s ass, and she DID. Hawkmoth could never. Multimouse is a gift, and Marinette is a boss ass queen.  9/10

12.  Chat Blanc- Listen, this episode was very good. I enjoy the idea of my children being happy in another timeline somewhere very much. We got all 4 sides of the square in an episode. It’s just really solid. I know this is the fandom’s favorite, and everyone is gonna shit their pants because it didn’t make my top 10, but this is my list. So, I put it at number 12. It’s good. I like it. It just didn’t steal my wallet like other episodes did. Put the pitchforks down. It’s gonna be okay, you can still love it more than me. 8/10

13.  New York Special- I know everyone felt some type of way about this special, but I wasn’t mad at it. My perception of it might be clouded because I watched it in Disney World where I was chilling and having a great time, but like this special really did somethings for me. The Adrinette was top tier. Tippy top tier. Even though they hurt us in the end, I am okay with it because it just means the children will grow and come out stronger. I don’t care if it’s not technically canon. Ask me if I give a fuck. I don’t. I had fun here. 8/10. Solid.

14.  The Collector- This one might shock a lot of you, but let me paint you a scene. It’s the first episode of s2. We have just come off a 2 year hiatus. The fandom is thriving. We’re hungry for canon content. We have hopes and dreams and expectations. Everyone is going wild with theories. This episode confirmed something that was long since obvious (in my opinion) and ended the stupid arguments people had been having. It made Gabriel actually seem semi-competent. We got our first taste of how Chat/Adrien will react to his dad being Hawkmoth. We got a peek at their life. Adrien’s isolation and sadness. They were so close to figuring it out. The battle was epic. Like Collector really had them on the ropes there for a second. It’s a solid episode, yall. I’m not wrong. Hate me all you want, but this episode brought it. 8/10

15.  Despair Bear- Is this episode up this high because of the Adrinette slow dance scene? YOU BET YOUR ASS IT IS. Okay, but fr though, shipping aside, this episode gave us hope that Chloe was actually gonna redeem herself. I mean, she didn’t but, we didn’t know that at the time. Seeing her run around trying to be nice was fun. And then she actually did something good, and we had a moment of okay, she’s capable. We’ll get there. We didn’t. But what a ride this episode was for making us think she would. 8/10

16.  Startrain- Cat, you’re just ranking all the Adrinette episodes highest. And? What of it? Are you surprised? You clicked a blog that has simping for Adrinette in the description, and you’re surprised all my favorite episodes have Adrinette? I’m not wrong, you’re just an idiot. The Adrinette nap cuddles aside though, this was a pretty good episode. If you don’t think too hard about the whole space thing, we got a look at Max’s life, his mom is a driven, smart lady doing her best. Adrien rebels against papa for once. Alya stops a Lila scheme. Chloe gets to play the hero. Alya and Nino actually investigate like the heroes they are. Gabriel gets to realize what a dumbass bitch he is. I mean. Guys. Startrain is solid. 7.5/10

17.  Sapotis- This one shot up in rank for me after GoS, but tbh it’s always been a solid episode. Alyanette sleepover? Check. Alya becoming a superhero? Check. It’s a fun episode. And looking back, it’s nicely called back to later in GoS. We love it. 7.5/10

18.  Sandboy- Idk why I enjoy this episode as much as I do, but I do. Sandboy is a cute bean. I love his aesthetic. We also get hilarious looks at everyone’s nightmares. “Plagg, who turned you into a sock?” cracks me up cause like Adrien, bby, no XD And Chat Noir’s nightmare. I think it would have been interesting though if since Sandboy dusted the Agreste mansion, if we got a peek at Hawkmoth’s nightmares. It would have been a nice hint of plot to go along with Master Fu’s nightmare. Also Plagg giving the akuma the slip like the clever boy we know he is deep down? 7.5/10

19.  Furious Fu- If you guys haven’t realized by now that I love Fu, idk what you’re doing. Pay attention. I know that some people don’t like him, but I’m just gonna say it, you’re wrong. Fu took care of the Miracle Box for over 100 years, and this episode kind of gives some insight to what the Order was like. Very strict. Lots of rules. And ya know what, Fu said fuck the police, I’m gonna befriend these little magical demigods, and fuck off! Like what an absolute legend. I was really happy to see him living his best life, and that he and Marianne got married because it’s what he deserves. We love to see it. 7.5/10

20.  Gamer- People like to shit on Marinette in this episode, but like honestly, if I were in her shoes, I’d have probably done the same thing if I had the skill. Ain’t nothing wrong with a girl trying to spend time with the boy she likes. And Tom and Sabine being absolute shipping trash. I love them. And the awkward Adrinette. The introduction of the lucky charm that Adrien STILL carries. Wholesome. This was a good episode for their friendship, and we love to see it. 7.5/10

21.  Christmaster- Okay, I know a lot of people hated this episode when it aired, but I thought it was really funny? Everyone skidding around in the ice rink was hilarious. If you don’t take this episode seriously, it’s really fun. Chris is pretty cute, and damn right Ladybug is the best kid in the world. Idk. This episode is fun. I’m not mad at it. Sue me. 7.5/10

22.  Weredad- What? Another MC-heavy episode in Cat’s top 30? Listen, I don’t hate canon MC. The fans just annoy me. This episode was funny. The secondhand embarrassment and cringe was real. Plagg taunting Adrien because he knows the secret was great. Marinette being a self-saving queen was great. It’s a good episode. I like MC, you guys. I do. I swear! 7.5/10

23.  Miraculer- This episode was interesting to me, and I think it’s still a good development episode. For one, Sabrina finally got her own akuma episode named after her. Secondly, because it’s a big step for Chloe, just not in the way we expected. It totally makes sense that Chloe can’t have her Miraculous back because literally everyone knows her identity. Can’t argue that logic. And she is the first person to ever refuse to become akumatized, so like mad respect. I know a lot of people had high hopes for redeemed Chloe (myself included), but I think watching a character fall from revering someone to hating them is also an interesting path. The friends to enemies arc as it were. Idk. I liked this episode. It was an opportunity for Chloe to grow, even if she didn’t in the end, but we’ll talk about that later. 7.5/10

24.  Lady Wifi- I like Alya. I feel like I don’t say that much, and people make some assumptions because of MDCSP, but MDCSP is just a concept I wanted to explore. It doesn’t really reflect how I feel about any one character. Except maybe Lila. And Gabe. But every other spite fic I’ve written branching from Chameleon, the class has been fine. Alya has been fine. So, let it be known that I like Alya. Lady Wifi was a fun episode. Putting aside the fact that she thought Chloe was Ladybug for no reason, I like her akuma. I like the interactions we get with LadyNoir in this episode. After GoS, this episode gets a bit funnier. It’s solid. 7/10

25.  Dark Cupid- I don’t have much to say about this one. LadyNoir. That’s it. That’s the tweet. Send it. 7/10

26.  Volpina- So many things about this episode. It introduced a new antagonist who we didn’t exactly 100% know was going to be an antagonist at the time. This episode sparked a lot of fun fan theories for a while. Who was Lila? How was she going to shake things up? Not to mention this episode gave us a taste of plot and lore, and set up Marinette meeting Master Fu officially. Lots of intrigue sparked from this episode. And that LadyNoir door scene? OOOOOO 7/10

27.  Hearthunter- One word: Adrigaminette. This episode was so cute for them! I loved seeing them all goofing and running around together. Adrien and Kagami being absolutely in love with Marinette when her hair is down. They both love her, I don’t make the rules. Not to mention, Marinette takes a big step by letting her friends be happy without her. Kagami not wanting to hurt Marinette. The drama!! Gabriel being a messy ass bitch to his friends. It loses points for the abomination of an akuma, but overall, I wasn’t too mad at it. Yet. 7/10

28.  Glaciator- More MC in Cat’s top 30? It’s more likely than you think. Listen. Listen… Listen. MC is fine. This episode was the closest thing to fanfiction that we got. The balcony scene was really sweet. I was drinking the irony. We got introduced to Andre the icecream fraud. Andre the please just give me the flavor I asked for man. I could have done without Chat pouting, but the LadyNoir in the end was pretty good. I wish they’d done more with Ladybug’s feelings for Chat. Had her question herself a bit more after this one, but overall, it’s cute. 7/10

29.  Zombizou- A lot of people started hating Mlle. Bustier after this episode, and like I can kind of see it, if I squint, but I did not draw that same conclusion from this episode. Mlle. Bustier just wants good things for all of her students. They’re 14 ffs, she just wants to be a good influence on all of her students and wants them all to be successful. But go off, I guess? Plus, this episode was basically just a spoof on zombie apocalypse movies. We got so many things. Julerose, Myvan, DJWifi. Chloe actually showing some depth and emotion. LadyNoir. We won this episode, babes. Sorry you didn’t get the memo. 7/10

30.  Timetagger- Okay. This is the last episode in the ones that I’d venture to call “good.” Number 30. I enjoyed Timetagger. I know people have feelings about timey-wimey bullshit, and like I’m not gonna lie and say I’m thrilled with it either (I mean, I changed the rabbit’s power in MDCSP) but that being said, Timetagger was so sassy. Bunnix was cool as hell. We get to see that LB and CN are still doing the thing in the future. So many questions sparked from this episode. It was fun. Idk. I liked it. That’s all I got. 7/10

31.  Malediktator- Okay, from this point on, less comments because this is the section that are more or less just meh to me. Like they’re fine. This episode was fine. Chloe was fine. Chat playing with the laser was cute. 6.5/10

32.  Mayura- Adrien’s speech at the end. Nuff said 6.5/10

33.  Ikari Gozen- Ryuko/Ryuuko. Gals being pals. 6.5/10

34.  Reflekdoll- I talked about this earlier, but I don’t hate this episode. It’s not as bad as people make it out to be. Sue me. 6.5/10

35.  Anansi- Nino is the goodest boy. Also I need more of the gang taking Adrien on adventures via Facetime. Stat. 6.5/10

36.  Shanghai- This one is new, and tbh I still haven’t watched it with subs, but I had a good time. Fei was cute. The boy squad was cute. Adrien bonding with Great Uncle Cheng was cute. Hawkmoth getting literally dunked on was *chefs kiss* 6.5/10

37.  Gigantitan- I love overly supportive, ride-or-die girl squad. 6.5/10

38.  Party Crasher- Idk why this episode was funny to me. Kim is the purest bean. We don’t deserve him. 6.5/10

39.  Desperada- This episode was an emotional roller coaster, and even though we all collectively hate Aspik’s stupid egghead, we love the Ladrien this episode provided us. 6/10

40.  Oni-chan- Listen, I loved seeing Lila get a tiny bit of karma even if she made it up in the end. I loved Chat going off on her. I loved seeing her get outsmarted in the end. 6/10

41.  Frightningale- My good lesbian Clara Nightingale. We stan. 6/10

42.  Style Queen- I like Audrey in a “she’s the worst person I’ve ever met, I want to travel the world with her” kind of way. She’s funny to me. Idk. I love her firing everyone. She’s the one I love to hate. She’s the worst, but we love her for it. Plus this episode gave us Plagg’s adorable little Cataclysm that destroyed half the city. 6/10

43.  Gamer 2.0- Chat confidently strutting in heels made this episode worth it. And we get to see the beginning of Marinette being overwhelmed. Plus it was the return of gamer!nette. 6/10

44.  Troublemaker- I don’t hate this episode as much as the next person either. It was fine. Jagged is a manchild, but we love him for it. He’s a Marinette stan which like mood. The Adrinette at the end was cute. I wasn’t mad at it. Idk. It’s fine. 6/10

45.  Reflekta- Where are all my Juleka stans at? I loved the LadyNoir banter in this ep. V. cute. 6/10

46.  Dark Owl- This episode was fun. And it really shows their level of trust. Plus Plagg and Tikki interacted. 6/10

47.  Timebreaker- Have I ever mentioned that I like Alix? I like Alix. 6/10

48.  Silencer- I don’t hate this episode as much as you’d expect me to, and that is 100% because of the LadyNoir. 5.5/10

49.  Prime Queen- Chat purrs. 5.5/10

50.  Syren- I think the fish power-up is adorable. Ondine is a gem. Kim is a pure bean, but we been knew. 5.5/10

51.  Befana- I like Gina, but this episode fell flat for me. Almost as flat as the animation. 5.5/10

52.  Reverser- Another episode that everyone hates that I am actually fine with. This episode made me like Nathaniel more. Probably because I was previously indifferent toward him. Marc is cute too. 5.5/10

53.  Mr. Pigeon- Marinette is one clever girl. And the Adrinette hand-touch. 5.5/10

54.  Felix- Felix is a gremlin of chaos. A true chaotic neutral. He gives his uncle the finger, and I think that’s beautiful. 5.5/10

55.  Truth- Bet you expected this episode to be higher. While I did enjoy watching toxic people’s world crumble, this episode still gets a meh from me dog. 5/10

56.  Lies- The Adrigami was cute, and I respect Kagami as a character. The akuma could have been better tho. 5/10

57.  Princess Fragrance- Not much to say here. 5/10

58.  Copycat- 5/10

59.  Bubbler- 5/10

60.  Mime- 5/10

61.  Animan- 5/10

62.  Robostus- 5/10

63.  Ladybug- This episode ranks this low purely because I don’t care about GabeNath, and I hate that Lila won something in the end. But Adrien saying I won’t hesitate, bitch! At the end was nice to see. 5/10

64.  Catalyst- I know I ranked Mayura way higher, but Catalyst fell flat for me. Like it was fine. Wasn’t as into it though. 4.5/10

65.  Puppeteer- One of my favorite lucky charm uses. 4.5/10

66.  Pixelator- My favorite Cataclysm. 4.5/10

67.  Horrificator- That almost-Adrinette kiss tho 4.5/10

68.  Pharaoh- 4.5/10

69.  Kung Food- 4.5/10

70.  Rogercop- 4/10

71.  Guitar Villain- 4/10

72.  Dark Blade- 4/10

73.  Bakerix- 4/10

74.  Antibug- And now onto the bottom 10. To start us off, I will just say: UGH, this episode annoyed me. First of all, Sabrina didn’t even get her own episode. Chloe was a piece of shit. Idk why they made Ladybug the one in the wrong when Chloe was being obnoxious. Ugh. 3/10

75.  Captain Hardrock- I’m gonna be honest. My apathy for this episode has grown into loathing. Toxic stans are 100% to blame. Birthday ruining, bitches. This is the reason I threw a breakup bash after Truth. Yall deserved it. 3/10

76.  Christmas Special- I didn’t hate this episode as much as everyone, but it still wasn’t great. 2.5/10

77.  Stormy Weather 2.0- This episode was really dumb. It didn’t need to exist. 2.0/10

78.  Queen Wasp- Why did we give Chloe a Miraculous after this episode? 2/10

79.  Animaestro- Did we really need a self-insert? Did we really? 2/10

80.  Puppeteer 2.0- Listen, this episode would have made more sense in s1 or at the very latest early s2. Adrien gave a whole ass speech on how great Marinette is, then he turns around and is like idk if she likes me… Clean it up. 2/10

81.  Miracle Queen- I could talk at length about how much I hate the ending of this episode and what they did with Chloe and Master Fu, but we’re just going to remain calm and give it a solid 1.5/10

82.  Frozer- This episode made no goddamn sense. I call bullshit on so many things. Just ugh. 1/10

83.  Chameleon- Surprisingly, even though this episode sparked many, many spite fics out of me, it’s not my least favorite because at least Ladybug semi-redeemed this episode. Still really dumb and ooc tho. 1/10

84.  Feast- Okay, okay, okay, here we are. Bottom of the barrel. Cat’s most hated episode, and you wanna know why? You want to know why this episode fills me with the rage? Because we spent two fucking seasons building up all this mystery and lore and intrigue surrounding Fu’s big mistake, and they dropped the fucking ball! They did my mans so dirty! They could have really deepened his character, deepened the Order, deepened anything other than whatever fucking affair Gabriel and Nathalie have going on, but NO. They made it some stupid, bland-ass thing that got resolved magically in the end, then just ignored it for the rest of the season. I will never not be salty about how they did my boy Fu in this show. I’m happy he found his peace, but fuck if I’m not livid about how they did it. Whatever. Chat being done with Ladybug’s shit when they’re about to get eaten was funny I guess. .5/10

#cat speaks #cat spoils #episode ranking #long post #i'm tired now #i go to bed

[corellianbrandy]

Caught up on episodes 2-16 of The Bad Batch this weekend and these are my thoughts as I watched

1. Love how tarkin has aged like 40 years since we last saw him approximately four-to-six months ago in the clone wars. Like I’m not kidding I genuinely love it

2. Whenever little omega gets out of the ship and sees sunlight for the first time and is so excited about dirt 🥺

3. The scary scary nexu 🥺🥺🥺🥺 so cool

4. The empire just immediately making everyone’s lives miserable ie giving everybody a chain code and shit. You’re right Dave Filoni we SHOULDN’T have social security numbers.

5. CID FUCKING RULES LMFAO. Cathy Bates lizard ass mob boss bitch. Echo knows her as ‘a contact of the Jedi’ which coming from him probably means less ‘the Jedi’ in general and more just ‘Obi-Wan and Anakin’. Cid clearly liked the Jedi, but Anakin I can’t imagine having that much patience to deal with her and he probably just interacted with her out of necessity but Obi-Wan. Imagine her and Obi-Wan interacting.** The flirting. The mind games. They were probably in love.

6. I always know that I personally am going to have a great time whenever the Zygerians show up because they always bring the Peak Weird Scifi Ralph Mcquarrie 70s vibes with them and they did NOT disappoint. The flying lizard vs. rancor fight gave me the strength I needed to go on another day

7. Speaking of the rancor like I knew it was going to be a rancor as soon as we saw the cage but I wasn’t expecting it to be THEE rancor.

8. Furthermore. Lost it at thee rancor making puppy dog heart-eyes at omega as it’s being led away to be chained up under Jabba’s palace to eat Jabba’s enemies for the rest of it’s life until Luke finally kills it in 4ABY.

9. Everybody climbing through the ion engine core was COOL SO COOL. My little nerd brain really loved that. “This is actually a marvel of engineering. This steel coating is capable of withstanding -“ “NO ONE CARES!” 💯💯💯💯 Exactly how I would’ve written it A+++++++

10. The fucking rattlesnake wild west music that aggressively plays every time Cad Bane is on screen. What’s better than this.

11. Cad Bane’s entire new gunslinger cowboy outfit. Everything to me.

12. I love all these deep seeded reasons we’re getting for why the storm troopers SUCK. 1. Being the entire idea to use them in the first place was based off a misunderstanding made after one(1) experimental mission where it’s interpreted that they’re better than the clones when the clones were the reason for the mission’s success in the first place and 2. How a lot of the first-wave storm troopers were trained by the clones who either didn’t want to train them and didnt do a great job on purpose or did it but personally left out a lot of info and skills. Pretty fascinating explanation for protagonist armor while also making a statement about the inefficiency and insincerity of institutional evil/bureaucracy (I guess).

13. Holy shit did NOT LIKE THE CLAUSTROPHOBIC ENDING AAAAAHHH. Like the facility on kamino floating to the bottom of the sea. Kill meeeeeeee. Very cool visuals though.

14. One thing I didn’t like was all of the stuff with Crosshair. It was all just so contrived and weird and didnt make any sense and really just brought the show down in the end, writing-wise. Honestly, most of the stuff regarding the clones’ story arch after their interaction with the guy on Ryloth who still had his armor painted, where we’re supposed to just assume his inhibitor chip . . . didn’t work or something? But instead of anyone bothering to tell him what’s going on after such a big deal was made out of the chips the episode right before this, it’s treated like some kind of moral choice the guy is making kinda took me out of the story severely. And even more so when the same guy manages to talk a bunch of other clones out of working for the empire too. Like can they do that? We’ve had this idea that these chips essentially mind control you repeated to us over and over so wtf. There was no coherent explanation for any of it. Maybe it’ll be explained later somewhere else, but still. Weird to do it this way. They needed to be more consistent with what a horrible scary thing those chips were instead of doing whatever that was. But up until then it was a lot of fun sci-fi.

14. Every minute cody doesn’t show up in one of these post war 66 shows i get more and more excited for him to show up dramatically in kenobi

**Like fr picture it it’s year 2 of the clone wars. Anakin and Ahsoka are sitting at the space mahjong table in Cid’s parlor bored as fuck and ready to leave but Obi-wan is still in cid’s office. it’s hour four and they’re only halfway through orchestrating the most unnecessarily elaborate and convoluted deal for a piece of information like “where is cad bane the last time I saw him he stole my wallet and car keys and he refuses to return them yes my car got blown up but that’s not the point It’s The Principle Of The Thing.” Literally everyone around them grew bored of all of this 3 hours ago but not obi-wan and cid. This is what they do for fun and they are both having the time of their lives. Anakin this war is stressful some of us are trying to relax

#star wars #the bad batch #the clone wars

[vennilavee]

the soul of a flame - ch 1

the spark

pairing: levi x reader of color

summary: levi follows his squad to a new bar called the silver sapphire and finds you, a pretty girl with a knack for making drinks.

warnings: alcohol, cursing

word count: 2022

a/n: reader is a reader of color because that's how it's going to be. if i feel like i cant relate with some of the fics posted here/ao3 bc of obvious physical attributes assigned to reader, then im sure many others feel the same as well. ENJOY

***

Levi suspects that his squad is getting shitfaced. Again. It’s only the end of a grueling few weeks after they’ve been appointed to his squad and had to go through a stricter, more regimented version of Cadet training.

It was Levi’s version of training.

He had them training from early hours into the heat of the mid afternoon until the sun began to dip into the sky. They never outwardly complained, not to him at least. They knew better.

Levi had granted them an early evening, to which all four of them had been surprised by-

“What? You four earned it,” Levi says with his arms crossed, “Don’t look so surprised. I’m not a tyrant.”

“Of course not, Captain Levi,” Petra chirps, an always sweet smile on her face.

Oluo elbows her, telling her to stop being such a kiss ass and Petra gapes at him.

“Me? Look at your hair! You can’t even pull off bangs the way Captain Levi can,” She scoffs, arms crossed over her chest.

Levi rolls his eyes, not bothering to conceal the fondness he has for his team.

“Get outta here,” He says not unkindly.

He didn’t think they would end up finding their way to a bar for two nights in a row. They’re getting ready for their third night at the same bar and Levi has to know.

What the hell has gotten into his team?

“Which one of you four idiots is gonna tell me where you’ve been sneaking off to?” Levi asks, appearing suddenly in front of Oluo and Gunther.

“We told you Captain! There’s a bar not too far from here,” Eld says enthusiastically, “There’s a rumor that they make their own alcohol with gold there.”

“Right,” Levi scoffs, “That has to be the only reason why you four come back shitfaced every night. Because of gold.”

“Not me, sir!” Petra protests, earning herself a glare from Oluo.

“Who are you lying to, Petra?” Oluo says, “And it’s not gold, Eld. I hear it’s diamonds and rubies. Sapphires, too.”

“How the fuck do you make alcohol out of diamonds, rubies and sapphires? Do you hear yourselves?” Levi says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“That’s what it tastes like, Levi. That’s what her alcohol tastes like,” Gunther says dreamily. 

“So which is it? You like the alcohol or you like her?” Levi says, a faint, uncharacteristic teasing in his tone.

“Doesn’t help that she’s very pretty, sir,” Petra says thoughtfully, tapping her chin.

“I’m sure it doesn’t,” Levi rolls his eyes, turning his back on his team, “Enjoy. You’re expected to be ready for training at dawn.”

“Yes, sir,” They all chorus while saluting. 

“Levi,” Gunther says, “You should come later, if you want. Hange and Mike will be coming later.”

“Tch,” Levi waves him off without another word and Gunther shrugs.

He has better things to do than drink shitty alcohol from a shitty bar with his friends and fellow soldiers. 

***

It turns out that Levi in fact, does not have better things to do than drink shitty alcohol from a shitty bar with his friends and fellow soldiers. Hange had convinced him to join them. And her version of convincing had been blackmailing him into holding his most favorite tea leaves hostage and loudly telling him that he needed to get out more often otherwise he’d turn shrivel up and turn into a grump-

“If we hurry and go, we can reverse the process before it’s too late.”

Which is how he found himself walking to the bar that Hange coerced him into going to. It’s called the Silver Sapphire, and honestly, he can’t think of a shittier name for a bar. Sapphires aren’t even silver.

Levi hates any amount of attention on him, and the way the bar goes silent for a moment when all eyes land on him makes his skin crawl. He sits at his own table, away from the ruckus of the other squad leaders and his own team as the noise around him resumes. He fully expects his team to see him and surround him soon.

At least none of the shitty kids were here.

“Captain Levi! You caaaame,” Oluo says, as Petra sits across from him. 

“Came to see what all the fuss was about,” Levi shrugs, “And Shitty Glasses decided to hold my tea leaves hostage if I didn’t show up.”

“Orrrr Captain Levi wants to see the pretty bartender,” Petra says in a singsong voice, eyeing him curiously.

Levi lets her have her fun. It puts a smile on her face, so he lets her have it. 

“Try some of my earthwater, Captain,” Oluo says, pushing his glass towards Levi.

“I’d rather die by the hands of my own blades than drink anything you’ve put your shitty tongue in, Oluo,” Levi says tonelessly, “Earthwater? What the hell is that?”

“The stuff made of diamonds,” Hange appears from around the corner and sits next to Petra, “You were right, Oluo.”

“Hange,” Levi says curtly, crossing his arms over his chest. Hange lets out a peal of delighted laughter at his irritation. 

“Shorty’s upset with me because I told him to get out of his office for the first time all week,” Hange whispers to Petra.

Levi rolls his eyes so far back he’s certain he sees his own skull.

Suddenly, Petra elbows Hange, discreetly looking at the bar and whispering to her with a tipsy giggle. Levi hears Gunther and Oluo sigh like lovestruck fools, even Petra and before he can ask them whether they are soldiers of the Survey Corps or whether they’re idiots in high school-

He sees you making your way to them from behind the bar and can kind of understand why they have hearts in their eyes, and why they’re behaving the way that they are. His own throat is a little dry but he clears it subtly, eyes not leaving you.

“Third night, huh? To what do I owe this pleasure?” You murmur, all smiles and warm, dark eyes. You have a notebook and a pen in your hand to take their orders.

Levi is aware of the intensity of his gaze over you. Your dark green silk shirt is neatly tucked into your black pants that hug your hips and your legs. It’s loose and yet sits on your torso like it was made for you. The dark green is a shade or two darker than the Survey Corps capes, but you wear the color much better than anyone in the Corps ever could. Levi catches a glint of gold at the base of your throat attached to a thread of gold wrapping around the column of your neck. The top two buttons of your shirt unbuttoned carelessly, allowing him a peek of your deep skin glowing with the lights of the bar.

He swallows.

“These four idiots have been raving about your drink, what is it dirtwater?” Levi says tonelessly, “Must be pretty shitty if it’s called dirtwater.”

“It’s called earthwater, actually,” You reply easily but Levi catches the bite in your tone, “You should have one. On the house. It’s my own recipe and maybe it’ll loosen the stick up Captain Levi’s ass a little bit.”

His teammates, all traitors apparently, snicker at your comment.

“Fine,” Levi scoffs, “I’ll have your shitty drink. And what happens when I decide that I don’t like it?”

“That won’t happen,” You wave him away with a smirk across your painted lips, “After all. I made it.”

And with that, you saunter away with the rest of their orders and Levi sinks into his seat imperceptibly.

You look over your shoulder and toss him a reckless wink and a rogue smile. It takes a second for Levi to realize that you’re looking in his direction. He turns his gaze away from you, ignoring the heat creeping up in his neck.

***

The minute you see Levi of the Survey Corps walk into your bar, you know you had to see him up close. You’ve only heard stories about him, rumors mostly. That he’s a well oiled Titan killing machine. That he’d climbed the ranks of the Corps quickly, too quickly. You’ve heard that he’s an Underground kid, and that has your interest piqued.

The entire bar goes silent when he pushes the doors open. Clearly, Captain Levi doesn’t just walk into bars very often. Your eyes immediately shift to the rest of the Corps, in a separate corner of the bar.

He looks disinterested as he observes the bar around him. You have an eye on him, as you do with all your new and high profile customers. You notice how he relaxes in his seat, but he has a watchful eye on his surroundings, too.

Maybe it comes from being from the Underground. Always trying to be five steps ahead of any perceived threats. Maybe it comes from his Corps training. Maybe both.

You can’t help your eyes from wandering as you watch him subtly from the bar. He’s handsome, somehow both rough and effortless at the same time. The planes of his face are lined with cues of life and loss and you wonder how close you can get to him to see more.

You prepare five mugs of earthwater, adding a little extra mint to their drinks to spruce it up. You strive to impress, and Captain Levi is no exception. Carrying all five drinks on a tray with one hand, you head back over to their table, ignoring the hollering of your patrons around you. You turn your head towards them while you’re still walking, and flash them a gratuitous wink to quell them. They sigh happily and you roll your eyes fondly.

They’re just drunk and happy.

“I’m back,” You announce, “One earthwater for each of you.”

You hand a mug to each of them, careful not to slosh the liquid over the rim. Levi eyes the mugs impassively- they’re made of shiny brass and have a thin handle on the side. And they’re clean, he realizes as he inspects the mug.

“I’m curious to hear your thoughts, Captain,” You say with a smile, your right hand on the table and your left hand on your hip. You lean on your right hand and Levi tries to ignore the way the collar of your shirt slips to the side, the hollow between your neck and shoulder exposed. He catches the glint of something shiny on your left hand before taking a sip in front of six pairs of waiting eyes.

They all lean in close to hear the verdict.

“It’s not shitty,” Levi says, pleasantly surprised. Not that you’d be able to tell. It’s a little sweet but not overwhelmingly so. He can taste richness in the aftertaste of the drink and the combination of it with mint is unlike anything he’s ever tasted. What exactly is in this drink? No wonder Oluo says it’s filled with diamonds and sapphires.

“Ha! I’ll take it,” You say triumphantly, “Well, enjoy. You know where to find me.”

Your dark eyes linger on Levi for a second longer, searching for the hidden roughness that only an Underground kid can have. But he’s no kid, and he hides it well.

So do you.

Levi is no stranger to pretty women, and he knows beauty when he sees it. At first glance, you look like you’ve been born and raised inside of Wall Rose. Your brown skin glows despite the absence of sun, you smile so boldly that your cheeks must hurt, your eyes are mischievous.

And yet. It only takes one sweeping glance at you, at your confidence and the twinkle in his eyes for Levi to see how much of yourself you’ve given to be here. To have something called your own. Your hands were rough when you had handed him his mug and he saw faint, old scars on your forehead and your neck when you had leaned in.

He can admire from afar, can’t he? No harm, no foul. It’s not like he’ll be coming back here anyway, right? He’ll probably be dead before he can.

#levi x reader #levi ackerman x reader #levi x you #levi ackerman x you #aot imagines #snk imagines

[dramapic]

MASTERLIST

I update this list everytime I watch and review a show. 

Disclaimer: These reviews are subjective and only reflect my opinions. There are no drama on that list that I’ve turned off and all are worthy of a watch. 

Recs welcome!

#1 Crash landing on you 

(사랑의 불시착)

Grade: A++

Genre: Modern, Star-Crossed lovers

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Son Ye-jin (who plays Yoon Se-ri) and Hyun Bin (Ri Jeong-hyeok) have amazing chemistry and every episode plays out like the chapters of an excellent fanfiction. Classic romantic tropes, humour, angst, action, CLOY has it all. Moreover, if you’ve never watched a Kdrama in your life, CLOY is a great starting point—not only will it introduce you to Korean culture but also to popular tropes and codes of the genre.

#2 Rookie historian Goo Hae-ryung 

(신입사관 구해령)

Grade: A++

Genre: Historical, Age gap

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Delightful from end to end, with lots of humour and an engaging story. The romance between Goo Hae-ryung and himbo-prince Dowon will make your heart go soft, especially if you’re into reverse gender dynamics (she’s older and kisses him first *le gasp*)

#3 Memories of the Alhambra 

(알함브라 궁전의 추억)

Grade: B+

Genre: Modern; Sci-fi; Fantasy

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: No

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Intriguing premise, great cast and tons of special effects but the romance between Jin-woo (Hyun Bin) and Hee-joo (Park Shin-hye) won't go down in history. On top of that, the ending is a bit wishy-washy in that annoying “maybe there’s more to come” kind of way. Give us a clear cut ending, damnit!

#4 Good doctor 

(굿 닥터)

Grade: B- 

Genre: Modern, Medical drama

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Good heart but the writing is really clumsy at times and the hospital politics don’t make an awful lot of sense. On the bright side, Joo Won is great in the role of Park Si-on.

Note: I haven’t watched the American remake so can’t compare. 

#5 My love from the star/ You from the stars

(별에서 온 그대)

Grade: A

Genre: Modern, Sci-fi, fantasy, Star-Crossed lovers

Episodes: 21

Happy Ending: Yes-ish

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Jun Ji-hyun is absolutely stellar in the role of Cheon Seong-yi, a ditzy Hallyu* star whose career is going south while Kim Soo-hyun plays the emotionally closed-off alien to perfection. Lots of pinning, a dose of angst mixed with a pinch of wacky humor. 

*Hallyu means “Korean wave” in Chinese and refers to the popularity and spreading of Korean pop-culture outside of Korea. 

#6 Hwarang The Poet Warrior Youth 

(화랑)

Grade: B

Genre: Historical, Coming of age, fake siblings who catch feels

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Cute boys and interesting lore rooted in true facts (the bone rank system and the real Hwarang, the “Flowering Knights” of the Silla kingdom) but the story drags. I guess I expected more bromance and frolicking and less angst. Lastly, the main girl starts off quirky and fun but they quickly transform her into a sobbing mess which becomes real annoying real fast. 

#7 Love in the Moonlight / Moonlight Drawn by Clouds (구르미 그린 달빛)

Grade: A 

Genre: Historical, Romance, Coming of age, Posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 18

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

A classic tale of a girl raised as a boy who ends up in a situation where she needs to do her best to not blow her cover while catching feels (As someone raised on Versailles no bara and Ribbon no Kishi, it remains one of my favourite tropes)

Sweet romance and good characters. The fact that Crown prince Lee Yeong doesn't turn emo when he starts developing feelings for Eunuch Ra-on before discovering she's a girl is the cherry on top of the cake. 

#8 Something in the rain

(밥 잘 사주는 예쁜 누나)

Grade: C 

Genre: Modern

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes, but it still doesn't make you happy

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Wasted potential! 

Great start but the characterization falls apart quickly and you end up wondering why the main characters keep sabotaging their lives. By the end, despite their reunion, you're left with the impression they've learned nothing and that their relationship is doomed to fall apart. 

On top of it all, watching Jin-ah fight sexism in the workplace and gaining nothing is depressing af (I don’t need realism in my escapism, thank you very much).

Too bad because Son Ye-jin and Jung Hae-in look really good together and the acting is top-notch. My advice is to watch the first 8 episodes then make up your own ending in your head.

#9 Moon embracing the sun 

(해를 품��� 달)

Grade: B+

Genre: Historical,Star-Crossed lovers

Episodes: 22

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

A traditional historical drama with all the tropes that go with the genre + a hint of esoterism.

If you love ill-fated relationships, tragic love triangle, evil queens, and amnesia, this is the show for you. Beware, the interrogation/torture scenes are rather brutal. 

#10 My sassy girl 

(엽기적인 그녀)

Grade: B- 

Genre: Historical, Rom-Com

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Cute and lighthearted but easily forgettable. Still worth a watch thanks to Joo Won & Oh Yeon-seo's chemistry. 

#11 Coffee Prince 

(커피프린스 1호점)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern, Posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Solid story, great cast but be ready for a lot of bickering. 

Yoon Eun-hye is a precious bean who manages to sell the story of Eun-chan, a struggling androgynous working-class girl who mistakenly gets hired by a rich guy to play his boyfriend, then becomes his employee, then falls for him while not correcting his assumptions about her gender. Opposite her, Gong Yoo (from Train to Busan fame) is 🥰🥰🥰

Sidenote: Despite Han-kyul's struggle to accept his feelings for Eun-chan, homosexuality isn't treated as a joke or a shameful thing. The one time he goes seek “medical help”, the doctor is depicted as an old, clueless idiot. And honestly, the story would work too if Eun-chan was a guy. 

#12 My girlfriend is a Gumiho/My girlfriend is a Nine-tailed fox 

(내 여자친구는 구미호)

Grade: B+

Genre: Modern; Fantasy

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki - Available on Netflix (FR) too

Campy and goofy. It does look a bit dated (it’s from 2010) and the story is a little predictable but Lee Seung-gi as Cha Dae-woong, an aspiring action film actor and Shin Min-ah as “Gu Mi-ho” the nine-tailed fox looking for a mate are super cute. The show is also a good introduction to Korean folklore.

#13 Goblin / Guardian: The Lonely and Great God / The Lonely and Great God – Goblin 

(쓸쓸하고 찬란하神 – 도깨비)

Grade: A+ 

Genre:  Modern, Historical, Fantasy, bromance

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes-ish

Watched on: Viki 

Unpopular opinion but since I’m not into older guys, I wasn’t invested in the romance between Bride and Goblin until late in the series. I loved everything else though. The show has such a unique tone and atmosphere. It goes from super serious to goofy in no time. The cinematography is gorgeous (especially the historical sets) and you'll cry your eyes out.

#14 Healer 

(힐러)

Grade: A 

Genre:  Modern

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

If you're into toll broody guys and fearless smoll girls, you’ll love Healer. The story is great, the characters are great and the way Jung-hu (played by Ji Chang-wook) and Ji-an (Park Min-young) are horny for each other is peak drama! *chef kiss*

#15 Kangchi the beginning/Gu family book 

(구가의 서)

Grade: B- 

Genre: Historical, Fantasy

Episodes:

Happy Ending: No

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Engaging coming of age story of a half-human half-gumiho looking for his place in this world. If it wasn't for the wishy-washy ending it could have been the perfect mix of action fantasy and romance. 

Special mention for Dam Yeo-wool (played by Suzie Bae) who is a female character who's allowed to be a bit of everything at the same time (strong, kick-ass, funny, cute, romantic) 

#16 Queen for seven days 

(7일의 왕비)

Grade: A 

Genre:  Historical, Romance, Villainous crush

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: No

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

With that title don’t expect a HEA but there are plenty of sweet moments along the way to make you appreciate the journey. 

Chae-kyung loves the Prince and the Prince loves Chae-kyung but the King wants to kill the Prince and Chae-kyung is loyal to the King but the King is a tyrant and everyone wants the Prince to take his throne. On top of that the King wants Chae-kyung. Big mess. Lots of feels.

The story is (very) loosely based on real-life Queen Dangyeong, which makes it even more poignant. I cried my eyes out at the end because I’m a big softy.   

#17 Korean Odyssey

(화유기)

Grade: A-

Genre: Modern, Fantasy

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Kinda

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

The show (very loosely based on Journey to the West) has its faults including the wishy-washy ending and the fact that Jin Seon-mi/Sam-jang starts off as a doormat but I ended up liking the relationship developing between the assholish Monkey god and the naive human girl more than I expected.

The side characters are compelling, and the banter and bickering between the deities work really well. If you grew up with Dragon ball, you’ll have a blast trying to match-up the Japanese and Korean names of everyone without looking up Wikipedia.

Lastly, not something I imagined saying after seeing him in Gumiho and Gu family book but Lee Seung-gi as Son Oh-gong = BDE *fans herself* 🥵

#18 Strong Girl Bong-soon 

(힘쎈여자 도봉순)

Grade: A- 

Genre:  Modern, Super-Heroine

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Trigger warning: Graphic depiction of violence against women

A++ super-heroine story, bad side characters 

First, every girl should aspire to find a Min-hyuk in their life. Someone who'll love them because of their strength, and support them unconditionally. Someone who won't ask them to change or pretend to be somebody else.

Second, western media should learn that a super-heroine can HAVE IT ALL—the superpowers AND the love AND the family. 

My only complaint with the show (and that's why I gave A- instead of A++) is the inclusion of many cringy side characters/situations that spoiled my overall enjoyment (see the caricatural flamboyant gay co-worker, Bong-soon’s mom hitting her dad, the mobsters...)

#19 The K2 

(더 케이투)

Grade: B- 

Genre: Modern, Political

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

The romance is bad and the political story far-fetched but Ji Chang-wook is 🔥🔥PEAK HOTTIE🔥🔥

That being said, I didn’t completely dislike the political intrigue and it was interesting to see the good guy working for the villains (sort of). 

#20 Weightlifting fairy Kim Bok-joo 

(역도요정 김복주)

Grade: A+ 

Genre:  Modern, Coming of age

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Uplifting coming of age story and super sweet romance. Bok-joo (Lee Sung-kyung) & Joon-hyung (Nam Joo-hyuk) are precious children on top of being cutie-patooties. Bok-joo’s insecurities hit hard, especially if you’ve ever been outside the norm of beauty standards.

I liked how the show normalizes therapy and taking care of your mental health.

In one word…

SWAG! 

#21 The scholar who walks the night 

(밤을 걷는 선비)

Grade: B 

Genre:  Historical, Fantasy, Vampire, posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Guilty pleasure. 

Don’t ask me about the details of the main storyline, I’ve already forgotten most of it. Sometimes all you need is a show where a hundred-something years old good vampire with a sad backstory and the main girl who is thirsty for the good vampire are fighting a sexy evil vampire. 

PS: Did I mention the sexy evil vampire?

#22 Romance is a bonus book 

(로맨스는 별책부록)

Grade: A+ 

Genre: Modern, Friends to lovers

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Imagine reading a relaxing book under a cozy blanket while sipping hot cocoa. That’s how that series made me feel. 

Everything is sweet and soft from the characters' fluffy jumpers to the soft palette of color used for the sets. People make books and love books. There’s a mystery but no unnecessary angst. If you need a break from everything, jump in that ship. 

#23 Hotel Del Luna 

(호텔 델루나)

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Sorta

Watched on: Viki - Available on Netflix (FR) too

Interesting world-building and a good cast of side characters but the romance lacks a bit of oomph. 

On the + side, the hotel sets are gorgeous and Man-wol's wardrobe is to kill for.

#24 Suspicious Partner 

(수상한 파트너)

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern, Star-crossed lovers in an office

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Toll serious who hates criminal falls for smoll weirdo falsely accused of murder. A must watch for anyone in search of a quirky romance.

#25 Touch your heart 

(진심이 닿다)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

Tooth rotting sweetness. The series is just a pretext to watch two good looking people (Lee Dong-wook and Yoo In-na) being nice and awkward around each other. What do you need more? 0

Note: If you watched Goblin you can also pretend it's a spin-off series about the reincarnations of Grim Reaper and Sunny. 💡

#26 Because this is my first life 

(이번 생은 처음이라)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern, Fake marriage

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

The Fake Marriage AU you’re looking for, mixed with slices of modern, messy, complicated life. 

The main storyline revolves around Ji-ho an assistant drama screenwriter who struggles to find her place within the patriarchal structure of Korean society, and Se-hee, a socially incompetent computer designer who only cares for his cat and his mortgage. The way they end up in a fake marriage as well as the development of their relationship feels organic and doesn’t rely too heavily on comedy like it’s often the case with that trope.

The show also follows the stories of Ji-ho’s friends, Su-ji and Ho-rang who have different aspirations in life—Su-ji’s goal is to become CEO while Ho-rang only cares about becoming a housewife. I loved that the show makes a point to not pit women against each other and advocate living your life the way YOU want rather than trying to follow societal expectations of what love, work and marriage should look like. 

Also they have the cutest cat.

#27 What's wrong with Secretary Kim? 

(김비서가 왜 그럴까 )

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

I wish Secretary Kim had more agency in certain situations but the romance develops well and the horny moments are caliente 🥵🔥 

#28 Where your eyes linger 

(너의 시선이 머무는 곳에)

Grade: A++ 

Genre: Modern, BL, Coming of age, Friends to lovers

Episodes: 8

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

Bite-size BL gem to devour in one sitting. 

Stellar acting from the two leads and the balance between fluff and angst is just right. There's no graphic violence that sometimes plagues yaoi and BL and the story is believable. I got emo remembering my first love. 

#29 Live up to your name 

(명불허전)

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern, Historical, Time travel, Star-crossed lovers

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Trigger warning for graphic depiction of violence

Big surprise. I was looking for a cheesy comedy but it was actually a thoughtful story about humanism. I even teared up a little. 

Trigger warning for needles. They do some pretty impressive procedures with those acupuncture needles. 

#30 W - Two Worlds Apart 

(더블유)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Imaginary men > Real men, especially when they're played by Lee Jong-suk. Nuf’ said.

Imaginary men > Real men, especially when they're played by Lee Jong-suk.

The silly premise hides a solid story that keeps you on your toes and I was suprised by the rollercoaster of emotions I went through.

“Option 3″

“That’s 4 fingers”

#31 Life 

(라이프)

Grade: C 

Genre: Modern

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Kinda

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Unless you want to learn how fucked up the private health sector is becoming in Korea, there's not much to gain watching this show. 

The story starts off well though. The problem is that by the middle of the series the writers have dropped the main mystery (the circumstances surrounding the death of the director) to deliver an exposé on the political machinations of big corporations, and then shoehorn an explanation at the last minute (“it was all but a misunderstanding”). Very underwhelming.

The relationship between the two brothers played by Lee Dong-wook and Lee Kyu-hyung is the only bright spot.

#32 Pinocchio 

(피노키오)

Grade: A- 

Genre: Modern, Fake family members who catch feels

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

On paper, the story sounds a little crazy but it all comes together nicely.

Lee Jong-suk and Park Shin-hye have great chemistry and deliver a stellar performance as “uncle” and “niece” (not related by blood) who can’t fight the romantic feelings they harbor for one another. The main storyline has enough twists to keep you entertained and surprised. 

My only complaint is that it drags a little. 16 episodes would have been enough. 

#33 My Holo Love 

(나 홀로 그대)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern, Sci-fi

Episodes: 12

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Fake men > Real men 

Imagine a Black Mirror episode about a love triangle between a woman suffering from face blindness, an emotionally supportive AI boyfriend and the disenchanted creator of said AI, minus the nihilism. *chef kiss*

#34 Legend of the blue sea 

(푸른 바다의 전설)

Grade: B++ 

Genre: Modern, Fantasy, Fairy tale, Star-crossed lovers

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

Park Ji-eu (the writer) read the little mermaid and decided to give her a happy ending. Great chemistry between Lee Min-ho and Jun Ji-hyun but the spark is missing for me. 

The antics of modern-day mermaid Shim Cheong are a little predictable and Joon-jae needs to be less of a control freak at times but the story remains enjoyable. I was pleasantly surprised to see Shim Cheong’s character grow, making the power imbalance between the clueless mermaid and the con-artist less pronounced by the end of the series. 

The side characters are interesting but underused, and I wish Tae-oh was more developed. On the other hand, the Joseon area sets and costumes are absolutely gorgeous (Don’t tell anyone but Joseon!Lee Min-ho is hotter than Modern!Lee Min-ho 🥵)

#35 Tale of Arang / Arang and the Magistrate 

(아랑사또전)

Grade: B 

Genre: Historical, Fantasy,

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

One word: Campy.

Interesting lore but the pacing is a little off—there’s a lot of back and forth between the characters and the locations and the love triangle doesn't add much. 

#36 My ID is Gangnam Beauty / Gangnam Beauty  

(내 아이디는 강남미인)

Grade: A+ 

Genre: Modern, Coming of age

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

If you’ve ever been bullied for your looks, you’re gonna bawl your eyes out. 

The show does a great job of calling out the unhealthy beauty standards imposed on Korean women but the topic is universal enough for the story to resonate with everyone. I love that you never see Mi-rae’s old face because it’s not our perception of her lack of beauty that matters but the fact she suffers greatly. Don’t you hate in western shows when they take a beautiful actress, give her a pair of glasses or a fat suit and call her ugly, making sure the audience feels shittier about themselves? Here, the writers concentrate on Mi-rae’s transformation and her coping with the consequences of her decision to do plastic surgery. 

It’s also not a revenge fantasy where the ugly duckling suddenly becomes the most popular girl at school. Being a “Gangnam beauty” leads to a new form of suffering. 

Romance-wise, it’s the slowest burn of slow burns because Mi-rae and Do Kyung-seok are the most socially awkward beans on the planet. I love them, Your Honor. 

#37 Tale of Nokdu 

(조선로코-녹두전)

Grade: A

Genre: Historical, Posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 32 x 30mns

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki - Now available on Netflix (FR)

Fun and lighthearted all the way through.

The story of a guy who puts on a dress to investigate a village of widows could have gone very wrong but it was well handled. It’s refreshing to see the classic trope of posing as the opposite sex reversed and Jang Dong-yoon is never cringy when he’s pretending to be Lady Kim Nok-soon.

#38 Bride of Habaek / Bride of the Water God

(하백의 신부 2017)

Grade: B

Genre: Modern, Fantasy

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Content warning: Crime against fashion

Promising premise and lore (I'm interested in reading the original comics now) but the writing fails to deliver an epic romance and a cathartic ending. Moreover, the sets lack imagination (or money?) and in the end I failed to ever feel immersed in a fantasy world.

The unfortunate consequence of the clumsy writing is that the male characters who are meant to be arrogant/confident Gods (Habaek and By-ryeom) sound like they're negging their love interests more than wooing them, and the relationship between Mu-ra and By-ryeom particularly irked me.

#39 Strangers from Hell / Hell is other people 

(타인은 지옥이다) 

Grade: A+

Genre: Modern, Psychological Thriller

Episodes: 10

Happy Ending: Spoiler

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Content warning: Violence 

What a departure from everything else in that list! Absolutely worth a watch if you enjoy thrillers and shows like Hannibal. If psychological horror isn’t your cup of tea though, you might give it a pass. 

The storyline and the characters are a little cliché (it goes with the genre) but the cinematography and photography are fantastic. You can notice how the pension becomes more and more sinister throughout the series via the use of dark greens and browns and pale yellows, as opposed to the mundanity and coldness of the city (greys, and cold blues).

Last but not least, the acting is top-tiers. Im Siwan does a great job at portraying Jong-woo, an aspiring crime novelist who slowly loses his marbles but the true revelation for me is Lee Dong-wook. After seeing him so many times in roles where he plays awkward yet charming men who can barely express emotions, I was intrigued to see him take on the role of a serial killer, and holy cow, he's the perfect mix of sinister and alluring. Towards the end of the series, his character Moon-jo acts like a black-hole whenever he appears in a scene—a towering, dark presence who sucks the light out of the room (If he carries any of that darkness in the upcoming Tale of Gumiho, it’s gonna be *chef kiss*).

#40 Empress Ki 

(기황후)

Grade: A

Genre: Historical, posing as the opposite sex

Episodes: 51

Happy Ending: From a certain point of view

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Trigger warning for violence against women (not graphic but implied)

51 episodes.

Fifty.One.Episodes.

That's a lot of episodes considering the story starts with the ending. 

Did I enjoy this show? Yes, very much so. Do I think it's for everyone? Nope. 

You'll enjoy Empress Ki if you're into old-school historical sagas or you wished Game of thrones had no gratuitous nudity and violence. If you’re looking for an historically accurate biography of the real empress Ki though, then look away because Empress Ki is basically a lengthy fanfiction trying to justify how the Goryeo native Seung-nyang married the wimpy Emperor of the Yuan dynasty whilst trying to portray her as loyal to her motherland and to her first love, the Crown Prince of Goryeo. 

Personally, I didn’t care for the love triangle formed by Seung-nyang (Ha Ji-won), Wang-yoo (Joo Jin-mo) and Toghon Temür (Ji Chang-wook) but I liked the politics and the backstabbing. Also, contrary to GoT, the bad guys get their comeuppance at the end so it makes watching the side characters die less painful.

#41 Meow, the secret boy / Welcome 

(어서와)

Grade: B-

Genre: Modern, Modern fantasy

Episodes: 24 x 35mns 

Happy Ending: I guess

Watched on: Viki

How do I put it? It's not *terribad* but it's not *good* either. 

I was super on board with the concept—if Lee Seung-gi can bang a nine-tailed fox in My girlfriend is a gumiho, I have zero issues with Sol ah, our heroine, falling in love with Hong-jo the cat-person after being dumped for no reason by Jae-sun her boyfriend—but it didn’t exactly develop that way, and as soon as they explained why Jae-sun had broken up with Sol-ah, the writers lost me because I like when things happen for a reason. 

#42 Clean with a passion for now 

(일단 뜨겁게 청소하라!!)

Grade: A-

Genre: Modern, Rom-Com

Episodes: 16 

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Super zany and tropey but that’s why it works so well. The only reason I’m giving it a minus is because it’s trying to be woke but in the end there’s still a lot of unsolicited grabbing and some iffy remarks/pick-up lines said by every male characters (IRL that’s the kind of story that ends up with a restraining order and a lawsuit for sexual harassment).

#43 Mystic pop-up bar 

(쌍갑포차)

Grade: A

Genre: Modern, Fantasy

Episodes: 12

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Trigger warning: Heavy themes (miscarriage, pregnancy, loss of a child, death of loved ones)

You know how the meme goes... Sometimes a family is a hot-tempered bar owner, a cursed kid and an ex-Afterlife-Police officer with a secret past. 

It took me a few episodes to get into it, but once the characters were established it became really enjoyable. 

The tone of the series leans toward wacky but the core of the story is actually pretty dark if you look into it. Every grudge they solve for their “clients” gives a clue about Wol-joo’s personal story and by the last episode I was crying my eyes out.

Last but not least, Wol-joo’s collection of modernized hanboks is *chef kiss*

#44 My secret Terrius 

(내 뒤에 테리우스)

Grade: A

Genre: Modern, Action, Comedy, Bromance

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

An enjoyable action drama to watch with your family or your significant other.

Koreans prove that you can write a story about a black ops agent on the run who becomes a childminder without reeking of toxic masculinity. Contrary to American comedies where the manly-man-hero working undercover is incompetent and believes that working with children is a woman’s job and a waste of his manly-man talents until he has an epiphany of some sorts, Kim Bon (played by So Ji-sub) never once expresses discomfort to the idea of looking after two kids. In spite of his sober demeanor, he’s a caring and attentive person from the start and watching him gradually becoming a part of this spunky family while investigating a national security threat made my heart go awww.

Opposite him, fearless and resourceful mom Go Ae-rin (played Jung In-sun) brings a lot of energy, and the twins are absolutely adorable.

#45 Moon Lovers: Scarlet Heart Ryeo

(달의 연인 - 보보경심 려)

Grade: A--

Genre: Historical  

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: No

Watched on: Random streaming site

Don’t get attached—Moon Lovers is the missing link between Empress Ki and Boys over flowers, but with a sad ending.

I did binge watch the series but there are some frustrating aspects to it that prevented me from giving a perfect score, notably the fact that Wang So remains possessive and demanding with Hae Soo throughout the years—for instance “You’re my person” is a romantic statement until it evolves into “You can never leave me.”

The other problem of the series is that Lee Ji-eun (UI) does cute and goofy really well, but she doesn’t have the emotional range needed to portray a character who goes through many heartbreaks and betrayals. As a result, Hae Soo appears a little fickle in her infatuations with the princes.  

That being said if you’re a sucker for tragic romance and you believe that power corrupts even the purest of love, you’ll have a blast.

#46 Forest 

(포레스트)

Grade: B++

Genre: Modern, Romance

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

UST in the woods (Dat first kiss 🥵🥵🥵)

The characters and the story are a little cliché but who doesn’t love a story where the protagonists are clearly attracted to each other but can’t act on their desires because their moral values are opposite?

*slams fist*

San Hyeok is your typical heartless businessman who refuses to confront his childhood trauma, and Yeong Jae is a surgeon who suffers from panic attacks and cares too much about other people. They’re both good looking and fate brings them to a remote village in the middle of the forest where they have to share a house. Really, I wonder what’s gonna happen?

#47 100 Days My Prince / Hundred days husband

(백일의 낭군님)

Grade: B+

Genre: Historical

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki 

Trigger warning: Important character death.

Cute and charming but also very annoying at times. Obviously, the story is tropey af (fake marriage doubled with amnesia, you can’t really beat that) but it also includes elements I’ve never seen in any other dramas like the fact that the Crown Princess is pregnant with another man’s child (le gasp!). The things that annoy me the most were the unnecessary flip-flopping of the heroine towards the end of the show for the sake of creating artificial drama (just let them be together FFS!) and the fact that the male characters take a lot of decisions for Yeon Hong-shim.

Romance wise, Do Kyung-soo and Nam Ji-hyun are really cute together but in the end I found myself more interested in the political intrigue and the side characters than the main romance because slow burn has its limit. In essence, it’s the perfect drama to watch with your conservative family because whilst the main couple is living under the same roof and is technically married they don’t get frisky. 

#48 I Am Not A Robot (로봇이 아니야)

Grade: A++

Genre: Modern

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Angsty with a good pay-off.

With a premise like that, things could have gone wrong really quickly but the writers managed to write a story that isn’t a man wanting to fuck a robot because real women are scary so big kudos for them. Seeing Min-kyu celebrating his Roomba’s birthday because he has no other friends will instantly melt your heart and from that point on you’ll cheer for his recovery. The show has the right amount of angst without becoming a mess and they handle the big reveal very well, making sure to show how hurt both Min-kyu and Ji-ah are by the situation, without making you doubt that they can find each other again. The other strong point of the show is that it’s not just about romance, it’s also about friendship and learning to let other people in your life. 

The acting is incredible to the point that by the end I wondered if Yoo Seung-ho and Chae Soo-bin were making out in front of my salad or if I was still watching the characters Min-kyu and Ji-ah being lovey dovey. 

#49 Sungkyunkwan Scandal (성균관 스캔들)

Grade: A

Genre: Historical, Posing as the opposite gender

Episodes: 20

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Viki

Hana zakari no kimi tachi he with gats.

This show checks so many boxes when it comes to my favourite tropes story-wise and character-wise that I instantly fell in love with it. It might feel a little dated for a younger audience and it definitely suffers from the second male lead syndrome (who wants unseasoned boiled chicken when there are not just one but two juicy rotisserie chickens on the table next to you?!) but it’s still very much enjoyable. Also, they don’t shy away from using the word “homosexuality” and having one of the second lead confessing to having romantic feelings for his friend (I’ll take any scrap of bi-representation, okay?)

#50 It’s Okay to not be okay  (사이코지만 괜찮아)

Grade: A 

Genre: Modern

Episodes: 16

Happy Ending: Yes

Watched on: Netflix (FR)

Found family. 

In spite of one ridiculous plot twist (that I was aware of when I started the show) this show has made me feel all the feelz. The three main actors all did a phenomenal job portraying their characters in all their complexity and fragility and I ended up crying so many cathartic tears in the second to last & the last episodes.The relationship between Sang-tae and Gang-tae is one of the best sibling relationships I’ve seen on-screen in a long time while the romance between Moon-yeong and Gang-tae blends perfectly elements of comedy and melodrama. Mental illness isn’t treated as something to be ashamed of, whilst showing that you can grow and recover from trauma and finding your own happiness.

PSA from my boyfriend, who dropped the show before the end: 

The plot twist is so stupid that it takes away from the rest of the series. In my opinion it negated the positive portrayal of mental illness built up until then. They completely lost me.

^ We discussed a lot about it which is why I wanted to share his POV to balance my own review.

#51 coming soon

#k-drama #kdrama

[smokeybrandreviews]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Full Shares

I have one helluva backlog of films to work through but, between those and other distractions, i am having just the dickens of a time getting through them. I’ve started Uncut Gems three different times but the tension, man, it stresses me out way too much. I have to take breaks in between and just forget about where i left off so i need to start over. I have to say, though, the twenty to thirty minutes i have seen is absolutely excellent. In the meantime, while i muster enough nerve to actually finish that film, i wanted to revisit one of my all-time favorites. Way back when i first saw this movie, it gave me the same intense, stressed out, panic i feel watching Gems. Alien changed the way that I interacted with film and, to this day, it’s one of maybe a handful of movies to ever illicit true fear from me. I saw it, for the first time as a young kid of maybe six or seven, in a late night showing on TV and i remember even the broadcast edit spazzing me the f*ck out. Imagine my apprehension seeing the theatrical cut fr the first time a few years later. As i got older and learned to appreciate the moving parts of film individually, i came to love Alien even more. Not only is it actually terrifying. it’s one of the best built movies i have ever seen and carries the template for bad-ass film like a badge of honor. Cats say the sequel, which i’ll get to in a later review, is better than the first, but i wholeheartedly disagree. This movie is easily top three all-time for me and here’s why. I have to tell you from the outset, this movie is perfect in my opinion. There  are no flaw so don’t expect any negative, just me gushing about the excellence within.

The Outstanding

The very best aspect of this movie is easily Sigourney Weaver’s portrayal as Ellen Ripley. My goodness, was this character absolutely amazing. When people think of Ripley, they often remember Cameron’s version of her from Aliens. To most people, Ripley is that chick, strapped down in a power loader, calling the Queen Xenomorph a b*tch to her face. That is, undeniably, iconic. Ellen Ripley solidified the template for strong, female, lead with that scene. But Ripley didn’t start out that way. She had to earn that title and it began with her battle for survival in the original Alien. Ripley began as an undermined, kind of by-the-book, Warrant Office, just trying to get back in time for her daughter’s eleventh birthday. Over the course of two hours, we watched Ripley evolve into the absolute unit that she is known for and the nuanced portrayal of that evolution by Weaver shows us the harrowing journey with an almost visceral vulnerability. Ellen Ripley is not a character, she is a person. You feel for this woman and her struggle. You root for her. You gasp when she fails. You want her to survive. To get attached to a film character so completely is testimony to the excellence of that actor’s performance and Sigourney Weaver turns one in for the ages. Not bad for a twenty-year-old’s second film appearance, first speaking role.

You can’t speak about Alien without the iconic imagery provided by the nightmares of H.R. Giger’s art. The raw, horrifyingly sexual, disgustingly organic, yet wholly bizarre vestiges of the LV-426 hive were incredible. That initial pan of the fossilized Space Jockey fused to his pilot’s seat can’t help but inspire very real awe. I imagine seeing that reveal on an Imax screen and it is absolutely riveting. More so, entering into the hive itself, wit all those corridors woven from steel and flesh, leading into the pitfall trap full of the waiting, legitimately alien eggs illicit a feeling of primal terror. Those things are nothing like anything terrestrial. They are just familiar enough to inspire curiosity from the audience but uncanny enough to trigger apprehension. Absolutely brilliant but the true genius, the source of constant panic, belongs to the adult xenomorph, itself.

Big Chap, as the production team called it, was a miracle of effects work. The suit was custom built to fit the near seven foot frame of Bolaji Badejo but it was his physicality that lent an organic presence to the techno-organic monstrosity. That original Xenomorpgh was wildly terrifying to me. Even at my young age, i weathered Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, and Jason Voorhees, with rather stoic aplomb but the Xenomorph sent me into a panic. I had legitimate nightmares about this thing which had never happened before. Giger had created a creature of such instinctual terror that you has no choice by to fear it and that sh*t is amazing.

I touched on how excellent Ellen Ripley was as a character, giving well deserved credit to Weaver’s portrayal but, like all classic characters in storytelling, Ripley began on the page. The writing for Alien is some of the best i have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Every character, every scene, every aspect, of this story is tight. Dan O’Bannon deserves all credit for this classic script. He wrote a story filled with characters and suspense, never identifying male of female unless absolutely necessary. I miss when films were films and not soapboxes for gender politics. It’s amazing how timeless and iconic characters can become when you’re not trying to push a goddamn agenda.

Now, O’Bannon’s script is excellent but it took a true visionary to bring it to life. Ridley Scott was that creative. Alien was Scott’s second directorial effort and he was able to craft a visual narrative far beyond what his tangible experience would dictate. Scott is a true visionary. The way he saw O’Bannon’s script was incredible. I mean, the vistas of the Derelict Ship, the sanitized halls of the Nostromo, that whole retro-futuristic look, the abject terror and repugnant reversal of sexuality with the Alien; All of that is Scott. O’Bannon gave this man one helluva blueprint but Scott built a goddamn monument of cinema in his own right.

The sound design in this film is absolutely classic. The hisses from the alien, the clacking of the computers, that harrowing voice from MOTHER during the adrenaline packed climax; Every sound, echo, pitch, and clank is perfectly administered to embellish the hellish visuals onscreen. I’ll never forget the first time seeing Brett’s death scene. The subtle sway of chains giving way to the impactful sound of those water droplets hitting his face, lulling you into a false sense of security, only to see the Xenomorph puncture his skull. That mixture of screams and rattling chains was haunting, brilliant use of sound for a horror set piece and testament to it’s voracity.

I spoke at length about Sigourney Weaver’s casting and performance but literally everyone is outstanding in this film. being an original script, not based on any existing media, you had an open template to create these characters. In a sense, casting for this type of project is even more tantamount than building a cinematic adaption of a novel or comic. This film is going to be known for these characters, for this world, going forward and Alien nailed this sh*t. Aside from Weaver’s star-turning performance as Ripley, John Hurt turned in a rather endearing outing as Kane, the first victim of the Xenomorpgh. Tom Skerritt was probably the biggest name in the film so everyone thoight that his character Dallas would be the lone survivor. Nope. Veronica Cartwright’s Lambert was woefully unraveled, specially during the Chestburster scene and Ian Holm’s Ash is easily unnerving his uncanny valley-esque performance. Harry Dean Stanton’s Brett was a man of few words but my second favorite performance in this entire film belongs to Yaphet Kotto. His portrayal as the aggressive, outspoken, incredibly loyal, Parker, endures to this day. These characters are all incredibly written and skillfully performed, bringing characters to life that will endure through time.

This movie came out in 1979, man! It is four decades old an can still give anything created today, even with out advances in effects work and film techniques, a run for it’s money. That is testament to the deft hand and expert precision in the construction of this movie. It’s rare that a film can be so timeless and it’s easily the first i have ever seen to capture that high mark. There are others like that; Jurassic Park, Twelve Angry Men, Jaws, The Godfather, To kill a Mockingbird, Star Wars, but even those classics show chinks in the armor. Not Alien. That Retro-futuristic design is absolutely timeless and fits in with any era of cinema.

The world Alien created was ripe for elaboration. The franchise, alone, produced three sequels; Each an amazing look at different film styles, directorial vision, and cinematic genre. Aliens is arguably one of the greatest sequels ever and has a completely different tone that the first. Some would ay it’ even better than the first. I wouldn’t but others do. There have been books, comics, games, and so much more based on this world. Alien: Isolation is easily the best game ever made based on the franchise and it stars that eleven-year-old daughter turned adult woman, Amanda Ripley, in a similar situation as her mother. Let me tell you, bad-assery must run in the family because Amanda was just as dope as her mom during her own gauntlet. And just like her ma’s adventure, Amanda’s outing stressed me out to no end. I loved the Earth War comic growing up and the introduction of Ripley 8 was something special. She was kind of ridiculous in the fourth film, Alien; resurrection but the comics did 8 much better justice. Speaking of artificial constructs, i would be remiss if i didn’t mention the absolutely charming android Xenomorph, Norbert, and his predecessor, Jeri, but my favorite hybrid is definitely Eloise. That’s not to mention the excellent stories with in the Aliens versus Predator mythos. I’m not going to get too heavy into that lore but you’d be hard-pressed to find a more amazing, female protagonist, outside of Ripley, than Machiko Noguchi; The human Japanese woman, blooded by the Elite Leader Yautja, Broken Tusk, given the title of Little Knife by the space-faring Predators. Ma is a f*cking machine and it’s a crime AvP ignored her story for what we eventually got in cinemas. Hell, there are even aspect of the Prometheus portion of this universe that i like, even though i don’t particularly like the film, itself. Elden is a dope character with a ton of potential for the overall lore going forward. There is so much excellent material in the Aliens expanded universe; Characters, concepts, worlds and more. The expansive nature and reverence for this universe rivals that of Star Wars, none of which could be possible without the inspired execution of the original Alien film.

The Verdict

What can i say? Alien is a goddamn masterpiece. From the second those titles slowly manifest to the exploration of LV-426, to the claustrophobic panic of the Nostromo, to Ripley’s triumphant yet uncertain fate in the end, i absolutely adore every aspect of this movie. Everything about this movie is deliberate and amazing. The performances are all excellent, everyone does an exceptional job. The set design is gorgeous and in the case of the alien hive within the Space Jockey’s ship, disgustingly beautiful. Giger’s art as perfect for this film but his design for Big Chap, the original Xenomorph design, was absolutely unnerving. The first time i saw it onscreen, i was both enthralled and horrified. To see the massive beast, in the few glimpses you got between some of the most excellent lighting ever captured on film, was incredible. There are shortcomings, sure, all films have them but i don’t believe them to be a negative. The pacing can be a little dragging at times but it’s absolutely necessary to build atmosphere. I thrive on slow burn films like The VVitch or Blade Runner 2049 and it was Alien that taught me patience in film can be a virtue. I cannot praise this film enough. For me, Alien is as close to perfect as can be. This easily gets my highest recommendation. If you’ve never seen Alien and appreciate sheer psychological terror, beautiful sets, brilliant direction, awe inspiring shots, and some of the best sound design ever captured on film, you’ll love this movie.

#Alien #Alien 1979 #Xenomorph #Ripley #Ellen Ripley #Smokey brand Movie Reviews

[josugayy]

Craziness at Midnight [RvB]

Pairing: Blue Team X Fem!Blue!Reader Fandom: Red Vs Blue (RvB) Notes: Welcome to Hell, AKA Blood Gulch! Warnings: Language, Typical Reds and Blues

You would think, after spending years with this dysfunctional group called Red Team and Blue Team, you would get tired of things. But no. Everyday is a new adventure, whether someone liked it or not.

Take for instance, your arrival to Blood Gulch and Blue Team. Believe it or not, you were one of the first to arrive, yet Church and Tucker still insisted on calling you “Rookie.”

You were there during the time that Flowers was alive, or at least when you arrived, it was three hours before he died.

It was a bit traumatizing to witness on your first day, but while Flowers seemed like a nice and understanding guy, he looked like he had something else planned, something not good.

Not that you minded anymore, because he was long gone - and you were still stuck in this godforsaken Hell of a canyon. And if the canyon wasn’t bad enough, it was the people.

When looking back to the time before the arrival of Caboose, Church and Tucker liked to claim things were peaceful; which was complete and utter BS, because if  anybody on Blue Team liked to bicker, it was those two. They always seemed to find little things to bother the other about, which was exactly why you stayed out of things.

It was hard, at first, staying out of their conflict when Tucker tried to flirt with you constantly and Church considered you the only other sane person here, although he grumbled about you never bothered to actually talk to him so he didn’t want to say much.

And it was true, you were being selfish. But did you care? No. You spent a lifetime training during your life to help the UNSC, only to be sent to the middle of absolute nowhere because your fiery temper caused a large fight. It wasn’t your fault this army was full of misogynist assholes!

But you supposed that knocking five guys out and mortally injuring another was a bit unnecessary...

Life seemed to consider that was alright, though, because it came back to bite you in the ass by Tucker finding your reason as a good excuse to say he liked woman with a hot (in both ways) temper.

And after Caboose came along? Things turned way more hectic. Caboose was quite the character, having what turned out to be O’Malley inside his head, and thus setting him free because everyone’s radio was on.

And figuring out who he was without O’Malley was entirely another story. On the plus side, you found you were relatively okay with kids, or at least as close to a five-year-old-in-a-man’s body could get.

You couldn’t exactly claim it was easy to take care of Caboose, it wasn’t like raising a kid, it was like having your kid be the same way every day, never growing up. It made things routine, but at the same time a tad frustrating because there were some things Caboose just couldn’t comprehend.

But, you found out the hard way you simply had to deal with it, for Tucker didn’t care and Church had a quicker temper than you. Thus, you managed to develop a sort of bond with Caboose, which brings you to now.

“Miss [Name]! Miss [Name]!” Caboose’s excited voice called out, waking you up from a nap. You sat up groggily, rubbing your eyes. What could be so important to wake you up for?

It was useless to fight Caboose off, however, because that could go one of two ways; Caboose disappointed or Caboose using his abnormal strength to get you up. You preferred neither, so you took out your [variation of blue] armor and opened your door just in time to see Caboose there.

“Hello!” He responded cheerfully.

“Yes, hi, Caboose. What is it?” He seemed to think for a few moments.

“Uh... oh! Right! Well, Church and Tucker are doing this thing and they want me to help, and they said you would make me cookies for it but I didn’t like Tucker’s tone so I thought I’d come to you.”

Lately, those two have been making all sorts of weird plans that have you concerned - not necessarily for them, but for yourself. There’s an unbelievably high chance of something blowing up in this canyon, and you wanted nothing to do with it.

“Thanks, Caboose. I’ll check it out, because those two haven’t talked to me.”

“Okay! But you’re still making cookies right?”

“Of course.”

--

“Oh. My. God. This whole thing was stupid from the start! I cannot believe you right now.”

“Ok, this? This wasn’t my fault. You were the one to forget the batteries, not me!”

“You literally ripped a hole in the sleeping bag!”

“So? We have more!”

“No, you dumbass, we have four. And now we’re short one!”

“What does it matter anyways? It’s only just gonna be the two of us?”

“Could you be any more dense?  First, we asked Caboose to help, who will insist on coming because I’m his best fri- fr- you know what forget it. Plus, he literally just ran off calling for the rookie! She’ll end up coming along too!”

“Good! And maybe, since according to you this whole thing has been ruined, it can be just me and her!”

It wasn’t hard to find Church and Tucker; those two were arguing so loudly you wouldn’t be surprised if the Red Team heard them. But you were a bit cautious about whatever they were doing, and you were not willing to be left alone with Tucker.

“Are you kidding me? I’m not letting you alone with [Name]! She’s the only other person who’s sane here, and I will not have you turning her insane because you annoyed her past her limit.”

“Annoy? Woah man, I don’t annoy people. My flirting skills are just so great that all the ladies play hard to get!”

Seriously, just how long will these guys believe that no one hears their conversations? Considering how bored everyone gets, you and Caboose couldn’t have been the only ones to hear them.

“Hey! Second best married couple!” You yelled, making them stop abruptly.

“Second best?”

“Yeah! You ever heard those guys from Red Team? They argue twice as much as you guys do! I was walking the other day, and all those two do is stand around and bicker like some old married couple.”

“Isn’t that what we do? Stand around and talk all day?”

“Yeah, but ours is more consistent. All they do is argue while we come up with shitty plans.”

“Makes sense.”

“Well anyways,” You got back to the task at hand. “What the hell are you two up to?”

“Nothing!” They both rang out, obviously doing a bad job of keeping a secret from you.

“Oh, don’t give me that,” you complained. “I heard you two chatting about batteries and ripped sleeping bags. I also heard my name involved, and I’d like to know what I’m being forced into.”

“Well,” Church said after a thoughtful pause. “We’re looking for a way out.”

You almost thought he was joking. “ A way out?”

“Yeah.” Tucker responded. “We’re sick and tired of all this sun, and thought we could leave through the caves. It’s a hella lot cooler in there, and we haven’t looked at them enough to say there isn’t a path out of this closed off area.” “...Alright. I want in.”

“Huh?”

“You heard me. Look, everyone could use a break. Plus, that’s just the thing. We don’t know what’s out there, so who’s saying we won’t get killed? As one of the only capable people here (probably the only one actually), I have to make sure you don’t die.”

“Aw, how sweet-”

“Shut up Church. It’s that, and I don’t want whatever we find to kill me.”

“Oh. Well, we do have supplies for everyone here, considering we can’t leave Caboose here without the base blowing up-” A loud explosion towards the back of the base sounded. “Tucker did it!”

“As I was saying,” Church continued. “But we’ll need a way to leave without the Reds expecting anything. The last thing we need is even more idiots showing up.”

“Oh that’s easy,” Tucker scoffed. “Just make some scarecrows with our colors and helmets on them.”

“Yeah, but don’t make them too convincing. Some of us here are dumb enough to get them mixed up.”

--

“So...” Grif trailed off, getting more bored by the second as Simmons stared through his sniper rifle. “You find whatever it was that exploded?”

“Nah,” Simmons answered. “Probably another one of the Blues’ failed projects.”

“You sure? Usually they’d be yelling at each other.”

“Well, it looks like they’re just standing around and talking, so I’d say yeah. Nothing productive going on there.”

“Same here,” Grif mumbled under his breath.

“Well, I’m gonna... go downstairs and eat. Since nothing ‘productive’ is going on. This watch is stupid.”

“What? You can’t leave.”

“Why not?”

“Why not? Why not? Grif, literally all you do is nothing all day. Sarge would be pissed at you. The least you could do is bear this until Sarge calls us down for his new plan.”

“Simmons! Grif! Get down here ASAP!”

“Speaking of which...”

--

Meanwhile, in the back of the Blue base, everyone was “having fun” with arts and crafts. And by fun, you meant Caboose was having fun, Church was done with his, and you and Tucker were arguing over your scarecrow.

“Haven’t you ever thought about how perverse and rude that is?!”

“Well, we want this to fool the Reds, right? So they have to be accurate!”

Tucker was trying to convince you to use something to mimic your breast size for your scarecrow. This caused a lot of commotion, and thus why neither you nor Tucker had finished your scarecrows.

“...And, done!” Caboose called, satisfied with his coloring. He put down his blue crayon and Church helped him put the shirt on the scarecrow.

“Hey, you guys done with your spat?” Church turned to you both.

“You know what, forget this!” You threw down the extra helmet you had to the ground. “You want it accurate, make it yourself!”

“Maybe I will!”

“Fine!”

“Fine!”

“I’ll be inside, packing my and Caboose’s bags. Caboose; orange juice or milk?”

“Orange juice, please!”

“Alright.” You nodded your head. “If you need me, I’ll be inside.”

There was a moment of silence as you walked inside, and Church seemed to be stunned at the relatively calm (at least for them) results. But after thinking about what he would do if he commented, he decided to leave it be and pack his own bag.

When everything was all said and done, the tension between you and Tucker managed to slip away (as it does for everyone), and you all gathered in the back of your base once again.

“Okay. So, Tucker, you and me are going to set up the scarecrows, while Rookie and Caboose are going to get Sheila to drive beside them as they head to the caves to shield them.”

“Right.” Tucker nodded.

“You got that, Caboose?” “Of course. Wait, what are we doing again?” A collective sigh sounded out.

Tucker and Church carefully picked up a scarecrow in each hand, and tried to use them as cover as Tucker placed two on the roof, and two facing towards the others (backs to the Red base).

Sheila drove slowly, with Caboose and you slowly moving beside her, and once you two got to the caves, Sheila started heading back.

However, halfway she turned a different direction, much to Church and Tucker’s confusion and frustration.

“Sheila!” Church quietly yelled. “What are you doing?!”

“I’m giving the illusion that I am mindlessly driving around,” Her monotone voice responded, but to the others it sounded a bit smug and teasing.

“But we need your cover!” Tucker said, growing more impatient by the second.

Sheila gave no response, but continued turning in different directions. After a couple of moments, she finally faced the caves and started heading that way. But she drove a little too quickly, and they had to jog with her.

Upon reaching the caves, you voiced your complaints. “What took you so long?” You hissed.

“Sheila was being a bit of a bitch,” Church answered. When Sheila turned to aim at Church after his statement, the three of you headed deeper in, where Caboose was staring at the ceiling.

“Caboose, what the hell are you doing?” Tucker asked.

“Finding the way.” He simply responded.

“The way?”

“Oh yeah, There are weird carvings on the ceiling of each area, so I look at them to find my special spot.”

“...” All of you were speechless at his sudden intelligence; his plan made perfect sense.

Caboose turned to his left and ran off. “Now let’s go find those star unicorns!” And there it goes.

“Well, that was weird.”

“Tell me about it.”

--

“Hey, what are the Blues doing?”

“Oh, same as usual. Standing around and talking. Look, it’s like they’re immobilized.”

“Are they?”

“Can’t really tell, they’re too far away. But since there’s nothing better to do in this place, I’m assuming that’s what they’re doing.”

--

“Ugh, I’m tired. How much longer is this?” You complained, feeling a bad ache in your feet.

“I can always carry you if you want,” Tucker suggested.

“And give you a chance to grope me? Nah.”

“Worth a shot.”

“Maybe we should take a break,” Church observed as Caboose grew more and more tired. “Caboose, how long will this take?”

“The next area. You can tell by the pretty lights.”

Everyone trudged into the place thankfully, and barely managed to open their sleeping bags before passing out. You had a relatively peaceful sleep until Caboose woke you up.

“Miss [Name]?”

“Ugh...”

“Miss [Name]?”

“What.”

“It’s cold.”

“No it’s not.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure it is.”

“No, it’s not.”

“But my arms and legs are freezing!”

You sighed. Clearly, Caboose couldn’t understand sarcasm and denial.

“And what do you want me to do about it?”

“Well, I wanted to share with Church, but he looked scary in his sleep, and I don’t want to be with Tucker. He gropes people.”

“So you want me to share with you?”

“Yes.” Wow, Caboose does not know how to beat around the bush, does he?

“... You’re lucky I’m the only one willing to deal with you. C’mere.”

Tucker woke up, or just barely enough to understand you were about to cuddle with Caboose, and immediately complained. “Oh, so you’ll sleep with him?”

“It’s not like that and you know it! Besides, this wouldn’t have happened if you hadn’t ripped a sleeping bag in the first place.” That shut him up, but not Church.

“Are you seriously cuddling with Caboose?”

“What’sa matter? Jealous?”

He quickly turned away, and you heard a stern “no.”

“That’s what I thought.” You said, and gazed at the ceiling.

Caboose wasn’t kidding when he said the place had pretty lights. Right above your heads was a bunch of white lights that represented stars; not too bright to keep someone up, but just visible enough to remind someone of actual stars.

In all, you learned that there was night in Blood Gulch. It was just in the caves. And having to travel with the people you’ve been stuck with to see it? Wasn’t so bad. Or, you considered, it could be worse.

You would still never be used to the craziness that is in Blood Gulch, but you sure as heck would be able to look back on these days in interest, and appreciate moments like these.

Your canyon was full of mysteries, both in what environment it has and the people stationed here. But did that matter?

Not to life, who likes to screw you all over in weird ways.

--- Words: 2635

Not quite sure I got their characters right, but I had fun with this. Tell me if I’m missing any warnings and such, and feel free to request!

Thanks for reading!

#red vs blue #rvb #rvb x reader #red vs blue x reader #blue team #caboose x reader #tucker x reader #church x reader #leonard l church #lavernius tucker #michael j caboose #female reader #dexter grif #richard simmons #rvb fanfic #red vs blue fanfiction

[insolublesalts]

BTS GOBLIN AU - CH3

A/N:  A taekook fic based on the kdrama Goblin. Written by my lovely bff @stupendouspaperplane and edited by me. Sideships include yoonmin and namjin. Other alternative ships might happen if we decide to do alternative endings.

Also this took too long ;_; exams aaa

Prologue // 1 // 2 // 3

                        It was another peaceful morning at the household of a very grumpy, sleep deprived goblin. It was one of those typical Wednesdays, when the atmosphere in the house felt like dead cold winter no matter the weather outside. The landlord, Kim Taehyung was drowning in a pool made out of his students’ assignments. While the other “supposed” renter splitter, Jung Hoseok, worked on cup of hot, life saving coffee.

                         A doorbell rang and successfully awakened the grave-like place. “Hoseok-ah, my hope, open the door please.”, Taehyung said without looking away from the assignment paper he was marking, he knew he won’t have the willpower to mark the last twenty something papers if he stop now. “What were you saying?”, Hoseok asked as he didn’t catch the words. Taehyung repeated his request with the same half-dead tone without looking up as well.

                         Hoseok heard him this time, but instead of answering whoever was outside, he pulled out his phone, a smirk on display. “What was that?”, he asked again, this time with a more playful tone. Taehyung did not need a split second before he knew what that meant. Both of them were more than familiar with the games they play, as childish as it sounds, it was definitely much less innocent than normal child’s play.

                         Taehyung cursed under his breath just as the doorbell rang again. He quickly shouted out his response, “FINE, tomorrow’s dinner, burger king down the street. I’ll pay. Now go open the damn door!” Hoseok beamed happily as the audio file saved in his phone. “I’m coming~”, he dashed to open the door.

                         “May I help you?”, Hoseok asked as the door opened to reveal a man slightly shorter than him. It was usual for students to come and seek help or even just for a casual talk with their professor. Despite the man’s young face, Hoseok somehow knew without asking that he wasn’t one of them. There was this mysterious aura around the man -it might have something to do with the combination of black clothes and pale skin- that piped Hoseok’s curiosity.

                         “I’m interested in renting a room.”, the man replied. In his hand was non other than the brochures Hoseok made, the words “ROOM FOR RENT” bold in red. “Come in then, I might as well show you around the place.”, Hoseok held the door open for the other but a strong grip on his arm made him looked up confusedly at the man. “What’s the problem?”

                         “Actually…“, he loosened his grip on Hoseok and let his hand fall back to his side. “To be honest, I was kicked out because pets ain’t allowed in my apartment, I figured it’s better to ask beforehand than going through all that shit only to get a no later. So… are pets allowed or not?” Hoseok was a bit taken aback, more by the man himself than the actual question. The man’s cold expression was replaced by eyes full of hope, his lips turned up at the corners instead of a thin straight line.

                         “I- Let me ask.”, Hoseok turned around and cleared his throat before shouting “Taehyung-ah!” The black eyed grim reaper jumped a bit, startled by the sudden shout.

                         “Who is it?”, a deep voice shouted back immediately. “You can call me Min.”, the smaller man offered his name just as Hoseok was about to ask. “Is it one of those punks? I told them I’m busy this week, let them go.”, the voice spoke again before Hoseok had the chance to reply. “No, it’s not your students. Mr Min here wants to rent a room but he’s wondering if pets are allowed.”

                         The grim reaper was playing with the collar of his trench coat while he waited for an answer. Hoseok peeked at the small man and had to bite back his laugh. He looks so cute. He barely know him but he already hoped the man can move in so he can get to know him and hopefully get along well with his pet too. He loved animals to bits.

                         A squeak was heard by the duo. Hoseok bursted into laughter, he can literally hear the awe in Tae’s voice. “Come on in~”, Min looked at Hoseok with uncertainty in his eyes but followed him nonetheless, unable to resist the warm, welcoming smile. “Are you sure?”, he sat on the white leather sofa while looking around the place.

                         Hoseok hummed in reply and pulled out a file of documents from somewhere. They worked on the terms and conditions in a comfortable matter. Hoseok did most the talking while the other only nodded and hummed with minimal comments on the contract. Hoseok doesn’t mind the lack of words, even though Min was quiet, he focused on the conversation and not for once his eyes left Hoseok. So Hoseok doesn’t feel like he was talking to himself.

                         Once they are done with the contract Hoseok walked the quiet one around the house. Again, Hoseok did the talking while the other looked around the place in silence, it didn’t took much time until they were at the last room of the house. “And this, is your room, open the door~.” The door opened into a fully furnished room. Everything was black and white except the bright coloured mattress of the bed. Sweet, I can deal with that. Hoseok followed behind him and chucked as the man bounced himself on the bed.

                        “You like the place?”, Hoseok sat on the chair by the table. Min nodded with a small smile, “Do you think I can move in today?” “Why not? You can move in whenever once we sign the contract later, Tae won’t mind much.”, Hoseok went to grab the documents and left Min in the room. The grim reaper grabbed a pillow and cuddled it to his chest.

                        He never expected everything to go so smooth. He was on the hunt for apartments the minute his original landlord screamed at the sleeping ball of fur on the pile of blankets he had set up. He had quite a range of choices as backups but as lucky as him he got it down on the first try. He smiled unconsciously as  he thought about his new pet, so small and fragile, his Holly.

                        Holly-ah, I’ve found you a new home, this will be our home.

                         “Awww, is Holly your dog?”, Hoseok said as he gave Min the papers. A signature was already signed above the name Kim Taehyung. Shit, did I said that out loud?, he looked at Hoseok to see if he was making fun of him but the boy was busy filing the documents. “Yea, Holly is my puppy.”, he signed the paper and handed it back. He found himself wanting to talk to the boy, and later he found himself happily engaged in a conversation that ranged from pets to hobbies, and everything in between.

                         “You like to dance? That’s cool. I don’t really do hobbies though, maybe playing the piano?”, Min talked while lying comfortably on the bed, a pillow propped behind his back. “Fun fact, Tae loves the piano so much he has one in the house even though he can’t play it for life.” “Really? But I didn’t saw it just now?”, he came across piano a really long time ago. It still amazed him until the day that how people can create something so magical with just the press of their fingers. He had fallen in love with music. The fact that he haven’t seen a piano in ages was killing him, and he was dying to play one. “It’s in his room, I’ll show you next time.”,

                         The duo would have talked until the sun was down if it was not for the sudden outburst of an upbeat melody. Hoseok mumbled an apology before picking up his phone without checking the number. “Yo it’s Hoseok, who is this?” “OMG I’M SORRY CHIM I’M COMING RIGHT NOW. WAIT FOR ME.”, he ended the phone call and almost rushed out of the room before remembering Min. He turned back and looked at him with an apologetic smile and said “I’m sorry I’m leaving like this but I’m really late, my friend is gonna kill me, I’ll see you later K?”

                         The grim reaper nodded okay and waved the boy away with a small smile. He suddenly felt a wave of tiredness washed over him. Talking was exhausting, he concluded. He got up from the bed and took the two sets of keys on the table, one old and plain while the other new with a music note keychain. He put them in his pocket and walked out of his room. It’s time to work.

                                                        *****

                         “Hyung, are you sure he’s coming?”, Jungkook asked. On the table were plates of sushi and some other dishes. Jungkook’s plate of rice was already a quarter empty, while Jimin’s noodles still untouched. “At least eat a bit first, you told me you were hungry.”, Jungkook argued for the fifth time, but Jimin just gave Jungkook a smile while saying that he can wait a little bit longer.

                         Jungkook sighed and took another bite of his food without another word. Jimin noticed and looked at Jungkook, “I’m sure he’s coming Kookie, don’t worry-- Owhh, he’s here!”, he stood up quickly and waved at the direction of the entrance. The younger smiled fondly while Jimin tried to get his friend’s attention, who looked like a lost child in the busy shop.

                         Jimin was on his tiptoes and Jungkook felt bad for smiling. Luckily his friend finally spotted him in the crowd and rushed over. “Jiminie~!”, the man tackled Jimin down easily. He smiled brightly as he squeezed Jimin towards the wall, Jimin giggled while pushing back like it was totally normal to be like this out in the public with so many eyes on them.

                         At first Jungkook laughed at the two sunshines, entertained by their act. However, his smile faded as he watched on. He’s too close with Jiminie-hyung, there’s barely any space between them. Jimin’s friend was literally crushing on top of Jimin’s small frame. He knew Jimin was not as weak as he seems but Jungkook just had the urge to walk over and pull the guy away from Jimin. He should have sat beside Jimin-hyung in the first place.

                         He poked his tongue on the inside of his cheek unconsciously and picked up his spoon to take another bite of his rice. He might as well intentionally made a lot of noise as he did so. He was definitely not jealous of Jimin being touchy with his friend, he’s a grown ass man and can do whatever he wants. “Ohh sorry”, Jimin’s friend finally spared Jimin from being tickled to death and gave a hand to pull him back up. “I didn’t know there’s someone else.”, Jimin who was still out of breath from all the tickling was about to introduce the two, but Jungkook spoke first.

                          “Yea, I didn’t know too.”

                          ... Definitely not jealous at all.

                         Jungkook regretted a split second later. Jimin stared at Jungkook wide eyed, smile dropped from his face. Jimin’s friend also froze in his place, his out stretched hand hung awkwardly in mid-air. “I’m just joking hyung, chill. I’m Jeon Jungkook. Nice to meet you.”, Jungkook said quickly with the brightest smile he can manage and shook the friend’s hand.

                         “You scared me to death, Jungkook-ah.”, Jimin said with a frown. “I’m sorry hyungnim, please forgive me hyungnim.”, Jungkook bowed to the two dramatically. Jimin and his friend who was smiling awkwardly a moment ago cracked up in laughter. Jungkook smiled in relieve. “You were right Jimin-ah, he’s cute.”, Jimin’s friend offered Jungkook a smile. “’’m always right.”, Jimin said with a sushi stuffed in his mouth.

                         “Jimin hyung talked about me?”, Jungkook was curious what Jimin talked about him. “Of course he does, he-” “Jungkook-ah, I haven’t introduced my friend to you yet, how bad of me. This is Jung Hoseok, you can call him Hoseok hyung, or Hobi hung like I do.”, Hoseok watched amusedly while Jimin ranted about him. “Nice to meet you Jungkook.”, Hoseok smiled.

                         “You’re the one that gave Jimin your dorm!”, Jungkook shouted in recognition, earning him a few glances from customers around them. Jimin looked embarrassed by the younger while Hoseok only laughed. “Mmhm, I’m actually treating this meal for that.”, Jimin said as he reached over to take a bite of Jungkook’s rice. Jungkook pushed his plate towards Jimin so he can eat more easily. “Eat up,  Hobi hyung. Jimin hyung and I will pay for it.” “Aww, thanks guys.”

                                                        *****

                         “OMG PUPPY~!”                        

                         If you asked Hoseok about Taehyung’s bad habits, “Taehyungie~ Is seriously OBSESSED with cute things. I mean, he even has a corner in his room for the things he found cute. Seriously, he needs to control himself, his collection is getting massive.”, is the answer that you would get from him.

                         Taehyung, with his empty coffee cup on the floor, was playing with the palm sized puppy he newly discovered. Hoseok had informed him about their new housemate before he left to eat with Jimin. He had heard noises from his room but only now that he finished his work he came downstairs. “So you’re the pet Mr Min talked about hmm~ What’s your name cutie?”, Taehyung asked in a soft voice.

                         Footsteps approached him and a low, chill voice replied his question. “He’s Holly.” Taehyung didn’t turn around immediately, instead he patted the puppy a few more times before putting him down and watched as the small creature walked away to explore the place. Mr Min was making himself a cup of coffee while Tae walked up to greet him, “Hello, I’m Kim Taehyung, nice to meet you Mr Min-”, the said person looked up at him and their eyes met.

                         “GRIM REAPER!” “So you’re the infamous Goblin.”, the two of them said/shouted at the same time. Taehyung, who was unable to believe the twist of events, was staring at the grim reaper in disbelief, “Why are you in ma house!?”, Taehyung whined. Hoseok promised a nice looking, quiet, well mannered man, a human. He knew he’s lovable friend had nothing to blame. But. He just can’t help but wondered about his luck. “Shh, shouting at your guests ain’t nice.”, the other picked up a jar of coffee beans and gestured at Taehyung’s cup on the floor, “You want coffee?”

                         “NO!”

                         “Your loss.”, the small man shrugged. He took his cup of steaming coffee and walked past the Goblin to sit down at the sofa. He looked as if he had been living at the place for years, while Taehyung, who stood in the middle of the hall with wide eyes and dropped jaw, looked like the lost visitor.

                         “Don’t look at me like that, here’s my contract if you ain’t convinced.”, he held the piece of paper up for the other to see. Taehyung raised his hand and hold it like a handgun, “Pang~”, he said cutely as the paper was swallowed up by flames. “Now it’s gone, and I suggest you to do the same.”

                         “That’s my copy, the original one’s with Hoseok.”, the ‘supposed’ nice looking, quiet, well manned man shrugged. Taehyung threw himself at the sofa that was opposite Min while mumbling “First day and already on the first name basis.” The other didn’t heard him “Also, I prefer if you call my name, Tae.”, he said his name in a mocking tone, Taehyung hissed, “I thought grim reapers are poor bastards that suffered memory loss.” 

                         “I’m a smart ass that got my name from my drunk boss.”

                         “You’re just lucky, I bet you don’t even get the full name, Min.”

                         The grim reaper ignored the fact that he was just being called out by a nearly complete stranger and drank his coffee. His attention fell on his pet dog as it run towards him. “Holly-ah~~”, he put down his cup to pick up Holly. The brown haired puppy wagged his tail left and right as Min ran his hand across his soft fur. The goblin stared at the dog and it’s owner for a while before saying “Fine, you two can stay.”

                           He saw the smirk on the other’s face so he quickly added, “It’s only because of Holly so thank him.”

                           Taehyung closed his bedroom door behind him and his eyes fell on the corner where his collection were placed neatly on a white shelf. He is a collector of cute things, and he does not mind adding two more to his home.

#bts #inso and joanne's fic #bts goblin au #taekook #yoonmin #namjin #my shit #bts jin #bts suga #bts jhope #bts rap monster #bts jimin #bts v #bts jungkook

[smokeybrand]

Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Full Shares

I have one helluva backlog of films to work through but, between those and other distractions, i am having just the dickens of a time getting through them. I’ve started Uncut Gems three different times but the tension, man, it stresses me out way too much. I have to take breaks in between and just forget about where i left off so i need to start over. I have to say, though, the twenty to thirty minutes i have seen is absolutely excellent. In the meantime, while i muster enough nerve to actually finish that film, i wanted to revisit one of my all-time favorites. Way back when i first saw this movie, it gave me the same intense, stressed out, panic i feel watching Gems. Alien changed the way that I interacted with film and, to this day, it’s one of maybe a handful of movies to ever illicit true fear from me. I saw it, for the first time as a young kid of maybe six or seven, in a late night showing on TV and i remember even the broadcast edit spazzing me the f*ck out. Imagine my apprehension seeing the theatrical cut fr the first time a few years later. As i got older and learned to appreciate the moving parts of film individually, i came to love Alien even more. Not only is it actually terrifying. it’s one of the best built movies i have ever seen and carries the template for bad-ass film like a badge of honor. Cats say the sequel, which i’ll get to in a later review, is better than the first, but i wholeheartedly disagree. This movie is easily top three all-time for me and here’s why. I have to tell you from the outset, this movie is perfect in my opinion. There  are no flaw so don’t expect any negative, just me gushing about the excellence within.

The Outstanding

The very best aspect of this movie is easily Sigourney Weaver’s portrayal as Ellen Ripley. My goodness, was this character absolutely amazing. When people think of Ripley, they often remember Cameron’s version of her from Aliens. To most people, Ripley is that chick, strapped down in a power loader, calling the Queen Xenomorph a b*tch to her face. That is, undeniably, iconic. Ellen Ripley solidified the template for strong, female, lead with that scene. But Ripley didn’t start out that way. She had to earn that title and it began with her battle for survival in the original Alien. Ripley began as an undermined, kind of by-the-book, Warrant Office, just trying to get back in time for her daughter’s eleventh birthday. Over the course of two hours, we watched Ripley evolve into the absolute unit that she is known for and the nuanced portrayal of that evolution by Weaver shows us the harrowing journey with an almost visceral vulnerability. Ellen Ripley is not a character, she is a person. You feel for this woman and her struggle. You root for her. You gasp when she fails. You want her to survive. To get attached to a film character so completely is testimony to the excellence of that actor’s performance and Sigourney Weaver turns one in for the ages. Not bad for a twenty-year-old’s second film appearance, first speaking role.

You can’t speak about Alien without the iconic imagery provided by the nightmares of H.R. Giger’s art. The raw, horrifyingly sexual, disgustingly organic, yet wholly bizarre vestiges of the LV-426 hive were incredible. That initial pan of the fossilized Space Jockey fused to his pilot’s seat can’t help but inspire very real awe. I imagine seeing that reveal on an Imax screen and it is absolutely riveting. More so, entering into the hive itself, wit all those corridors woven from steel and flesh, leading into the pitfall trap full of the waiting, legitimately alien eggs illicit a feeling of primal terror. Those things are nothing like anything terrestrial. They are just familiar enough to inspire curiosity from the audience but uncanny enough to trigger apprehension. Absolutely brilliant but the true genius, the source of constant panic, belongs to the adult xenomorph, itself.

Big Chap, as the production team called it, was a miracle of effects work. The suit was custom built to fit the near seven foot frame of Bolaji Badejo but it was his physicality that lent an organic presence to the techno-organic monstrosity. That original Xenomorpgh was wildly terrifying to me. Even at my young age, i weathered Freddy Krueger, Michael Myers, and Jason Voorhees, with rather stoic aplomb but the Xenomorph sent me into a panic. I had legitimate nightmares about this thing which had never happened before. Giger had created a creature of such instinctual terror that you has no choice by to fear it and that sh*t is amazing.

I touched on how excellent Ellen Ripley was as a character, giving well deserved credit to Weaver’s portrayal but, like all classic characters in storytelling, Ripley began on the page. The writing for Alien is some of the best i have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. Every character, every scene, every aspect, of this story is tight. Dan O’Bannon deserves all credit for this classic script. He wrote a story filled with characters and suspense, never identifying male of female unless absolutely necessary. I miss when films were films and not soapboxes for gender politics. It’s amazing how timeless and iconic characters can become when you’re not trying to push a goddamn agenda.

Now, O’Bannon’s script is excellent but it took a true visionary to bring it to life. Ridley Scott was that creative. Alien was Scott’s second directorial effort and he was able to craft a visual narrative far beyond what his tangible experience would dictate. Scott is a true visionary. The way he saw O’Bannon’s script was incredible. I mean, the vistas of the Derelict Ship, the sanitized halls of the Nostromo, that whole retro-futuristic look, the abject terror and repugnant reversal of sexuality with the Alien; All of that is Scott. O’Bannon gave this man one helluva blueprint but Scott built a goddamn monument of cinema in his own right.

The sound design in this film is absolutely classic. The hisses from the alien, the clacking of the computers, that harrowing voice from MOTHER during the adrenaline packed climax; Every sound, echo, pitch, and clank is perfectly administered to embellish the hellish visuals onscreen. I’ll never forget the first time seeing Brett’s death scene. The subtle sway of chains giving way to the impactful sound of those water droplets hitting his face, lulling you into a false sense of security, only to see the Xenomorph puncture his skull. That mixture of screams and rattling chains was haunting, brilliant use of sound for a horror set piece and testament to it’s voracity.

I spoke at length about Sigourney Weaver’s casting and performance but literally everyone is outstanding in this film. being an original script, not based on any existing media, you had an open template to create these characters. In a sense, casting for this type of project is even more tantamount than building a cinematic adaption of a novel or comic. This film is going to be known for these characters, for this world, going forward and Alien nailed this sh*t. Aside from Weaver’s star-turning performance as Ripley, John Hurt turned in a rather endearing outing as Kane, the first victim of the Xenomorpgh. Tom Skerritt was probably the biggest name in the film so everyone thoight that his character Dallas would be the lone survivor. Nope. Veronica Cartwright’s Lambert was woefully unraveled, specially during the Chestburster scene and Ian Holm’s Ash is easily unnerving his uncanny valley-esque performance. Harry Dean Stanton’s Brett was a man of few words but my second favorite performance in this entire film belongs to Yaphet Kotto. His portrayal as the aggressive, outspoken, incredibly loyal, Parker, endures to this day. These characters are all incredibly written and skillfully performed, bringing characters to life that will endure through time.

This movie came out in 1979, man! It is four decades old an can still give anything created today, even with out advances in effects work and film techniques, a run for it’s money. That is testament to the deft hand and expert precision in the construction of this movie. It’s rare that a film can be so timeless and it’s easily the first i have ever seen to capture that high mark. There are others like that; Jurassic Park, Twelve Angry Men, Jaws, The Godfather, To kill a Mockingbird, Star Wars, but even those classics show chinks in the armor. Not Alien. That Retro-futuristic design is absolutely timeless and fits in with any era of cinema.

The world Alien created was ripe for elaboration. The franchise, alone, produced three sequels; Each an amazing look at different film styles, directorial vision, and cinematic genre. Aliens is arguably one of the greatest sequels ever and has a completely different tone that the first. Some would ay it’ even better than the first. I wouldn’t but others do. There have been books, comics, games, and so much more based on this world. Alien: Isolation is easily the best game ever made based on the franchise and it stars that eleven-year-old daughter turned adult woman, Amanda Ripley, in a similar situation as her mother. Let me tell you, bad-assery must run in the family because Amanda was just as dope as her mom during her own gauntlet. And just like her ma’s adventure, Amanda’s outing stressed me out to no end. I loved the Earth War comic growing up and the introduction of Ripley 8 was something special. She was kind of ridiculous in the fourth film, Alien; resurrection but the comics did 8 much better justice. Speaking of artificial constructs, i would be remiss if i didn’t mention the absolutely charming android Xenomorph, Norbert, and his predecessor, Jeri, but my favorite hybrid is definitely Eloise. That’s not to mention the excellent stories with in the Aliens versus Predator mythos. I’m not going to get too heavy into that lore but you’d be hard-pressed to find a more amazing, female protagonist, outside of Ripley, than Machiko Noguchi; The human Japanese woman, blooded by the Elite Leader Yautja, Broken Tusk, given the title of Little Knife by the space-faring Predators. Ma is a f*cking machine and it’s a crime AvP ignored her story for what we eventually got in cinemas. Hell, there are even aspect of the Prometheus portion of this universe that i like, even though i don’t particularly like the film, itself. Elden is a dope character with a ton of potential for the overall lore going forward. There is so much excellent material in the Aliens expanded universe; Characters, concepts, worlds and more. The expansive nature and reverence for this universe rivals that of Star Wars, none of which could be possible without the inspired execution of the original Alien film.

The Verdict

What can i say? Alien is a goddamn masterpiece. From the second those titles slowly manifest to the exploration of LV-426, to the claustrophobic panic of the Nostromo, to Ripley’s triumphant yet uncertain fate in the end, i absolutely adore every aspect of this movie. Everything about this movie is deliberate and amazing. The performances are all excellent, everyone does an exceptional job. The set design is gorgeous and in the case of the alien hive within the Space Jockey’s ship, disgustingly beautiful. Giger’s art as perfect for this film but his design for Big Chap, the original Xenomorph design, was absolutely unnerving. The first time i saw it onscreen, i was both enthralled and horrified. To see the massive beast, in the few glimpses you got between some of the most excellent lighting ever captured on film, was incredible. There are shortcomings, sure, all films have them but i don’t believe them to be a negative. The pacing can be a little dragging at times but it’s absolutely necessary to build atmosphere. I thrive on slow burn films like The VVitch or Blade Runner 2049 and it was Alien that taught me patience in film can be a virtue. I cannot praise this film enough. For me, Alien is as close to perfect as can be. This easily gets my highest recommendation. If you’ve never seen Alien and appreciate sheer psychological terror, beautiful sets, brilliant direction, awe inspiring shots, and some of the best sound design ever captured on film, you’ll love this movie.

[purrincess-chat]

Cat’s Not-All-Encompassing Character Ranking

Okay, so I have to admit that I omitted a lot of characters I don't have strong opinions on. Most of them were one-off akumas, so don't get your panties in a twist, your faves are probably still on here (and ranked lower than you think).

As a preface again, these are just my personal opinions. They can't hurt you. You can still like characters more or less than me. And I don't care how you feel about them. This list is for me. And the person that asked for it. So shut up. Go make your own rank list if you’re so butthurt. 

We're going in reverse order this time, starting from the bottom:

84. Gabriel Agreste- I mean, is anyone surprised? I am not private about how I think Gabriel should go to jail. Or fall off a cliff. Or be erased from existence. Rip to those that like him, but I’m different.

83. Thomas Astruc- Honestly, he’s down here on principle. Self-inserts are generally a no-no, and I just laugh every time I see him on screen because he really put himself in this show and said boohoo no one appreciates me XD

82. Bob Roth- I feel like this one should also be obvious. He’s just a dick. Terrible human. I give him 0 stars.

81. Tomoe Tsurugi- We all collectively hate her, right? It’s not just me?

80. Su Han- This mans has small peepee energy. And he bad mouthed Fu, so get FUCKED, my dude.

79. Rolland Dupain- Listen, I get it, he liked Marinette in the end, but I could do without the racism.

78. Nathalie Sancoeur- My opinion of Nathalie took a nosedive after the s2 finale. I just do not care that she is in love with her boss. Don’t care that she’s dying. Just do not have it in me.

77. XY- Justin Bieber ass wannabe.

76. Nora Cesiare- I didn’t care for Nora. I know Thomas loves her, but the overbearing sibling trope is tired.

75. Anarka Couffaine- I underestimated how much I don’t really like her. Like, it’s not full-on hate, but I just do not care for her.

74. Otis Cesaire- Got akumatized because a kid said he could outrun a panther. I’m still not over it, Otis.

73. Andre Bourgeois- No love for the crooked mayor. I hope your wife divorces you. 

72. Alec Cataldi- The real villain of Stormy Weather. Like fr why is he such an asshole?

71. Roger Raincomprix- Is Officer Roger just doing his best? Sometimes. But like sometimes this mans just needs to take a chill pill.

70. M. D'Argencourt- Please get out of the 1600s

69. Ella/Etta- These two are basically the same character, and I am indifferent to both of them.

68. KnightOwl/Barbara- Listen, I would have liked you more if you were less controlling.

67. Majestia- Same as above, but like I guess I like you more

66. Theo- *Mean Girls principal voice* Stay away from underaged girls!

65. Andre the ice cream man- I just want a scoop of chocolate, Andre. Is that too much to ask??

64. Amelie Graham de Vanily- We haven’t seen much of her, but she seems like a snake bitch.

63. M. Kubdel- I mean, if my son wanted to resurrect an ancient mummy and believed in aliens, I’d give the family heirloom to my daughter too.

62. Jalil Kubdel- Lolol, buddy, pal, dude, my guy. Chill.

61. Vincent (Adrien's photographer)- Head empty. Mom’s spaghetti. Idk he’s alright.

60. Manon- I don’t hate Manon. She just gets on my nerves every time she talks.

59. M. Ramier- This mans got akumatized a billion times because he gets emotional about pigeons. I mean, honestly mood.

58. Mme. Mendeleiev- She doesn’t put up with Chloe’s shit, and we respect her for this.

57. Baby August- Someone just give this mans some food. He’s a growing boy.

56. Santa Claus- If I were Santa, I too would list Ladybug as the best kid in the world.

55. Art Teacher- He doesn’t even have a name, but I vibe with him. He seems like he likes to paint scenes of nature with his pet squirrels.

54. Prince Ali- Lil mans just wanted to have a good time. I can respect that.

53. Duusu- Duusu, I get that your Miraculous was broken, but get with the program, girl. You is a hostage.

52. Other Kwamis- Idk, all the ones we haven’t seen as much. I don’t have real opinions on them yet. Just neutral.

51. Sass- He gives me dad vibes.

50. M. Damocles- You go, you funky owl man

49. Jean (Chloe's Butler)- He deserves a raise. What is your name, sir? We may never know.

48. Mireille Caquet- She’s pretty cute. No complaints.

47. Aurore Beaureal- Baby’s first akuma. I love her design. She’s a cutie.

46. Claudie Kante (Max’s mom)- This womans just wanted to go to space and live her dream. We stan a hardworking queen.

45. Hot Dog Dan- I like him more than Andre the ice cream fraud. Sure, my hotdog might turn me purple, but if I ask for chili on it, I bet he’d oblige.

44. Nadja Chamack- I mean, she’s doing her best.

43. Audrey Bourgeois- So, as I said in the episode ranking, I have a love-hate relationship with Audrey. She’s the worst, but that’s why I love her. I love her ironically. Like, yeah she’s atrocious, but I just want to watch her burn the world.

42. Luka Couffaine- Directly in the middle, like he’s always been.

41. Nathaniel Kurtzberg- My opinion of Nath improved after Reverser surprisingly. I ship it.

40. Chris Lahiffe- I like Chris better than Ella/Etta. He’s just a little mans out here living life wanting to grow up. Don’t believe it, Chris. Stay little forever. Being an adult suuuuucks.

39. Fang the Crocodile- The goodest boy.

38. Nooroo- I just want to give him a hug.

37. Mlle. Bustier- She’s doing her best, but I mean, when ya whole class keeps getting turned into supervillains, I’m surprised she’s not an alcoholic.

36. Penny Rolling- I just like her. I think she’s neat.

35. Ondine- Mermaid queen! She’s so sweet, and I love her with Kim. I hope we see more of her in the future.

34. Marc Anciel- Marc is a little cutie bean. Idc if he’s based off one of Thomas’s irl friends. He can stay.

33. Wayzz- He loves Master Fu so much I cry.

32. Felix Graham de Vanily- I know everyone hates canon Felix, but tbh he exudes massive chaotic neutral gremlin energy, and I actually kinda vibe with that. And he pisses with his uncle which is a whole ass mood.

31. Tikki- Tikki is very cute, but bby please work on the preaching. You don’t always know what’s right, babe.

30. Sabrina Raincomprix- Sabrina deserves better. I hope we see good things happen for her.

29. Lila Rossi- Surprised? I actually like Lila. The first fic I ever wrote for this fandom was a Lila redemption. I think she is a good antagonist and foil to Marinette. I absolutely want to see her get dunked on in canon, but that doesn’t mean I hate her.

28. Wayhem- I don’t know why, but Wayhem makes me laugh. I love him XD

27. Uncle Cheng- He’s just a good mans with a birb who wants to make you tasty food. What’s not to like?

26. Trixx- Trixx shot up after GoS. Chaotic bean make Eiffel Tower go bendy

25. Jess- She’s pretty cool. She’s a vibe.

24. Aeon- The cutest bean!!! She saw Adrien and Marinette and said yep. Those two are meant to be together. Jess, we gotta make it happen.

23. Ivan Bruel- Ivan is such a gentle bean. We love him.

22. Mylene Haprele- Smol

21. Fei Wu- I still have not watched the Shanghai special with subs, but I liked her.

20. Gina Dupain- The grandma I aspire to be.

19. Marianne Lenoir- I love her. She is good. She and Fu are so cute. And she seems like she would have kicked le ass back in the day. (and even now)

18. Rose Lavillant- I am so excited for Pigella!! Rose is too cute. We love her. 

17. Gorilla- aka Adrien’s real dad. If the series doesn’t end with Gabriel getting yeeted into the stratosphere and Gorilla adopting Adrien, I don’t want it.

16. Clara Nightingale- She’s in love with Marinette. You can’t change my mind. 16 is also how old I hc her to be, so don’t nobody come for me.

15. Tom Dupain- Most. Supportive. Dad. Soft bean. Just wants to make you fresh bread.

14. Sabine Cheng- Good mom vibes. We love to see her.

13. Juleka Couffaine- Shy goth bean. Just wants to have her picture taken. Definitely a lesbian. We stan.

12. Nino Lahiffe- The goodest boy. He’s just out here doing his best, loving his friends.

11. Chloe Bourgeois- Chloe is another one I have a love-hate relationship with. Her brattiness is funny to me. We had high hopes for her. Honestly, she ranks this high because I like to play with her in fic.

10. Max Kante- He smol and smort. And I adore his friendship with Kim and the fact that he made an AI himself at 14. What a legend.

9. Alya Cesaire- Rip to Alya salters, but I’m different. Outside of Chameleon, Alya is fine. She’s a supportive bff. All yall people that are mad she doesn’t kiss Marinette’s ass all the time need to go out and make real friends. I said what I said.

8. Alix Kubdel- I love Alix. I love how she is always so done with all the lovey-dovey bullshit. She is tiny queen, and Bunnix, while OP af, is still super cool. We love to see her.

7. Kagami Tsurugi- I will fight anyone who shits on Kagami. She has done nothing wrong, you guys are just haters. All she did was exist, and yall said, wow what a toxic bitch?? Disgraceful.

6. Jagged Stone- We are going to ignore the deadbeat dad trope that canon thrust upon him. He is a Marinette stan, and we love that.

5. Kim Le Chien- I really love Kim, you guys. Does that surprise you? Listen, my favorite male character types are sweet beans and himbos. Kim is both of these.

4. Master Fu- If you didn’t pick up on how much I love Fu from the episodes ranking, then idk what to tell you. I want him to be my grandpa. I would trust this mans with my life. He did his best. You paint those pictures, you funky little man. I love you.

3. Plagg- My galaxy trash man. Love him. 10/10 chefs kisses all around.

2. Adrien Agreste- The biggest Marinette stan there is. I just want him to kiss her on the face. And marry her. Idk, I just think that would be neat if he could do that. I just want good things for them.

1. Marinette Dupain-Cheng- Honestly, are you surprised? I have always been and always will be a Marinette stan. If you expected anyone else to be in this spot, then clown suit rentals are off to the left.

#cat speaks #cat spoils #character ranking #okay fr tho dont ever ask me for anything ever again #take your complaints to your dashboard button and off my blog #idc if you dont like my ranks #theyre not for you #heck off