#gotta love the 'bill' in the trees haha

[pynkhues]

Brio 45 and 81

Thanks, anon!

This fic is set in my Center & Circumference universe, but you don't have to have read that to read this. Just know that they've been together a little while, but are as cagey as ever, haha.

(Tiiiiny spoilers for the last part of To Face Unafraid, but just little ones)

-

45 floating on your back in water + 81 cloudless summer sky

“Playa del Amor,” he hums, and Beth’s neck twists back just enough to see Rio grin. “What? You rather I take you to Cabo?”

“I don’t want you to take me anywhere,” she replies easily, a practiced retort that Rio knows as well as she does at this point, and when he breathes out a laugh, Beth drums the point home, reaching for their closet door. “If - - when - - we go on a vacation, we’ll go together.”

He seems pleased at least by the when – something even she can admit is the result of a lot of wearing down – his Cheshire Cat grin smoothing out into something both exasperated and affection as he rolls onto his side in their bed. The movement is enough for the sheets to dip lower, to reveal the perfect V of his groin, the space where his happy trail thickens, and it’s like the sun sparks through the window to greet the sight, the warm light leaving him summer skinned and glowing, and she hates that she wets her lips. Hates that he clocks it (because of course he does), and she makes sure he sees her roll her eyes when his grin turns into a smirk.

“Anyway,” she says, standing up a little straighter and turning back around to open their walk-in closet door. “We don’t have time right now. Not with the new deal Mick’s set up, and definitely not with the kids still a month off summer break.”

He doesn’t reply to that, but Beth knows the kids really don’t factor into this particular vacation plan. Or they do, of course they do, but only in the sense of who’s going to take them while he and her drink tequila on his cousin’s catamaran in Mexico. Which - -

Beth huffs, flicking through a few of her sundresses, trying to find something that’s not going to be too suffocating in the June heat, more irritable than she should be. The conversation is one they’ve been circling since Christmas though, when he’d surprised her with a trip away – not for him and her, but instead one for her, Ruby and Annie.

The weight of it had been lost in the chaos with Judith and his (- - her) family, but when the three of them had had their feet up in front of the fire at the ski lodge, mulled wine sloshing about their heads as Annie and Ruby giggled their way through old memories, it had been more than gratitude she’d felt. More than happiness, more than - -

God.

She doesn’t know, just more, and she’d gotten home and Rio had been there, reading glasses on as he’d tapped through accounts on his laptop, glitter on his neck from where he’d helped Emma get ready for her ballet recital dress rehearsal, and she’d straddled his hips before she’d even taken her shoes off, and she’d said - -

Well.

She hadn’t really said anything.

But she thinks by that evening he’d felt it too.

Even more so when he’d pressed swollen lips to hers and said next time, it’s you and me, yeah?

“The deal’s practically done, and ain’t there camp and shit?”

Beth rolls her eyes, reaching for one of her looser black sundresses, and she can hear more than see Rio scoot across the bed to drop his head off the edge of it, an angle she knows he likes just because he can see her better, or rather, see up the back of her robe when she bends over.

(Another gift, she thinks, briefly amused again. Although this one really was a gift for him given it barely covers her ass when she’s standing, let alone doing anything else.)

“Yes, I know where Cabo is.”

He snorts, and Beth turns around to walk back out of the closet, feeling the silk of her robe slip just a little, just enough she can feel it drag sweat back across her chest, and god, if it’s already this hot, she’s not looking forward to their air con bill for the quarter. She strides across the room to hook the coat hanger over the door of their en suite, before starting back to grab some clean panties, a bra, feeling Rio’s gaze on her every step of the way, and it’s silly, the way maybe she pushes her chest out just a little, points her toes to elongate her legs, the way her gaze darts, just to make sure he’s noticed.

(He has.

God, when does the spark she feels at that dim?)

“Ain’t talking about Cabo,” he tells her, voice a little lower. He’s still resting long on his side, head off the bed, tilted back just so, hands low enough on his belly his pinkies brush the thickening hair, feel the bristle of it that Beth’s all too familiar with, and she yanks open the dresser drawer. “Talkin’ about Playa del Amor. It’s on the Islas Marietas.”

And at least that checks out with the catamaran.

“On an island?” she asks anyway, fingers groping between satin, lace, cotton, and when Rio hums, low, warm, she decides lace.

“It’s a beach inside a cave, only there’s this big-ass hole in the roof. You gotta sail over from Puerto Vallarta, then swim down through this tunnel until it all opens up on this place. People call it the Hidden Beach, but that ain’t its name.”

She grabs out a bra, closing the drawers and turning back to move across the room, only to pause, the weight of his words sinking into the moment. She still can’t speak Spanish exactly, but she’s been picking things up, partially through the osmosis of being in a - - whatever with Rio, and partially because maybe she downloaded DuoLingo to her phone last year. Keeps it in a hidden folder, just in case Rio sees it one day and teases her, because there’s something in it, something fragile in the thought of learning for him, because it is for him, no matter how much she tells herself it would be good and useful to learn otherwise.

Still, she thinks, gaze darting back to his, watching him watch her, his gaze drifting from her face to where her robe reveals more cleavage than she’d usually choose to (again, a gift for him) and she thinks she can own this much at least.

“Playa del Amor. Well, playa means beach.”

He hums a low, drawling sound of affirmation, and Beth’s toes curl a little beneath her, her chest heaves, cheeks flush, and she wants to close the distance between them, wants to keep it, wants to straddle him like she did when she got home from that last vacation, god, like she did last night, but there’s too much in the words, resting thick and pregnant in their translation. Her pulse is in her ears, the thrum of her restless, wasting, wanting heart, and she swallows thick, looks away, and it’s only then that Rio speaks, his voice soft, gentle.

“Just meant it feels right. Place like that for us. Fuckin’ you on the Hidden Beach.”

And at least that feels right, feels normal, and Beth rolls her eyes, starts back towards the bathroom, but she steps deliberately sideways, puts herself in arms reach so that Rio grabs the knot on her robe, positioning her over him until she’s sitting on his face, and the first hot breath at her cunt has her dripping and god, at least this has always been easy.

*

Later, hidden and safe at work, she looks it up.

Playa del Amor.

Finds herself scrolling through pictures of floods of sunlight, staring as yawning earth reveals a perfect curl of sand, a tongue of vivid blue ocean. An oasis among relentless rock, a cradle of paradise hidden beneath clambering earth, gnarled tree roots, tangling, opportunistic weeds; protected by it too, from the wild tide of the Pacific.

Dreams of braving that ocean, sinking into it, facing the darkened tunnels that lead to the light. The cold of shadowed waters before breaking into the heat.

It’s too easy to see herself there then. Feel herself there. Drifting on her back, sun-warmed water gentle at her back while her chest, cheeks, thighs pink under the glare. Too easy to hear distant seagull calls, lick salt from her lips, feel sand at her toes, to see Rio swimming out to meet her, his body long, strong, ocean parting to take him.

In her head, he doesn’t kiss her, he touches her – her hands, breasts, back, face. Especially her face – fingers tracing her lips, her cheek, brushing her wet hair back, and Beth thinks:

Playa del Amor.

She thinks:

Beach of Love.

Send me a sensory prompt (Good Girls, The Umbrella Academy or Succession)

Also hi, hello, I'm doing a thing where I try to do a prompt fill ficlet every day. You can read yesterday's here.

#we'll see how long i last with this daily fill thing haha #but i have over 100 prompts in my inbox right now and i really want to get through some of them #and it's fun as a creative exercise! #obviously 95% of these are brio prompts so am v welcome of non-brio / tua / succession prompts rn #this was a nice one to write though #i miss C&C when i'm not writing ittttt #and it's been a while #anyway #i hope this hits the spot anon :-) #beth x rio #the center and circumference #fic asks #my fic #gg fic #nbc good girls #welcome to my ama

[lilhawkeye3]

This Ohio discourse has got me dying to create discourse about every other state now hehe so I officially present:

Hawk’s review of 36/50 US states!

In alphabetical order because that fuckin song “50 nifty United States” has been stuck in my head since fourth grade.

Arizona: Phoenix is hot. Can’t believe y’all choose to live in a place that gets haboobs. Saw Sen. John McCain in the airport. I feel that sums up the state well. 4/10

California: as a resident of the state of Oregon, I’m legally required to say fuck California😌 unless anyone else talking shit about Cali and then we got your back😤 SoCal vs San Fran vs Northern Cal are totally different worlds though. 7/10

Colorado: damn idk how y’all breathe there, them air is thin. But really pretty out there! 7/10

Connecticut: oh my god fuck New Haven. And Stamford, and Hartford, and— Yknow what? Let’s just toss the whole state into the Sound. For real, traffic is the WORST here and I’m so sorry that y’all gotta live like that. 3/10

Delaware: I cannot believe this is considered a state. There’s no difference between Delaware and Maryland/Pennsylvania. 1/10 should not be a state

Florida: “the only hills in Florida are the highway ramps and the Matterhorn!” —the shuttle driver at Disney World. He was right. Shit is flat as fuck here. And hot. And humid. The Gulf Coast is nice? But tbh it’s just all very touristy which is kind of a bummer. 5/10

Georgia: ...I can’t with the humidity or thinly veiled racism. But y’all got nice peaches! Also Black Panther filmed there so thank you for blessing us with that. 6/10 for fruits

Hawaii: okay pineapple farms are cool. Tbh I just feel really bad for how much mainlander/tourist bs all the islanders put up with. Ik price of living is v high and keeps going up. That said I did love Hawaii... although I was stung by a jellyfish. Hate those little bastards. 8/10 for wonderful people and nature

Idaho: as an Oregonian I’m required to also say fuck Idaho 😝 you da hoes. Okay for real tho southern Idaho has become v white white and kinda scary tbh. The northern part of the state is pretty chill tho. Also Oreida kettle chips are partly made in Idaho so I gotta give you half credit for that. 4/10

Illinois: at least you’re not Indiana. 4/10.

Indiana: I never want to step foot in Gary, Indiana again in my life. (Passed a Mack truck hauling a race car to Indy 500 though so that was cool.) 2/10

Iowa: I almost moved here. I’m so glad I didn’t. Why are the Quad Cities actually a group of five towns? I hate that. Also the roads were all cement, felt like driving on a sidewalk. Was also interesting because the second we got out of the city proper, it was just... corn fields everywhere. 2/10 y’all raising children of the corn.

Kentucky: I really don’t have anything to say about Kentucky. I thought the trees were pretty? 5/10 yeah idk

Maine: my relative has totaled two cars by hitting moose in Maine. Maine scares me. Or rather, the moose do. Also the lobster roll hype is real. And the coast truly is beautiful. 8/10 but an extra point for the moose bc I hate that relative so 9/10

Maryland: oh god Baltimore. Also I’m blaming you for the DC traffic because it’s on the land you gifted them. 3/10

Massachusetts: Patriots fans are the worst NFL fans (the racism is real, especially after fans burned the jerseys of Black players who knelt for the anthem). Liking Dunkin’ Donuts is not a personality trait. The North End in Boston is truly the best place to get pizza in the entire country. Western Mass is not the same state. And the Cape Cod bridges give me nightmares. 5/10 but cause I had to pay taxes two years and it really is Taxachusetts, knocking it down to 4/10

Michigan: it’s a lot bigger than I initially thought. 5/10

Minnesota: it’s Canada but in the US. Pretty driving through the southern part. Cops suck tho. 5/10

Montana: okay Montana is downright gorgeous. (Except Billings. Sorry, Billings.) I must include a photo. I wanna get a cabin here and just exist. 8/10

New Hampshire: can’t decide if it hates Massachusetts or wants to be Massachusetts. All it knows is that it’s better than Vermont. Which... y’know, valid. (If you wanna see NH culture watch North Woods Law tbh). 4/10

New Jersey: why are there so many goddamn highways in this state? Also there are more places to weekend trip than the Shore or the Poconos. Although you do have people pump gas for you just like Oregon, so... that’s valid. Things my friends have added: Newark airport is cursed (valid), the jughandles are nightmares (true), pork roll/Taylor Ham is good and so are bagels and New Jersey pizza (allergic so idk), and everyone is split on whether the shore is actually decent or not 😂 I give it a 3.5/10 out of spite

New York: NYC is fun, Upstate is MASSIVE but really beautiful. Long Island is... yeah I don’t have anything nice to say about Long Island. 8/10 For NYC, 6/10 for Upstate, -2/10 for Long Island, gives us an average of 6/10

North Carolina: very good peaches. Isn’t South Carolina. Keep it up👍🏽 6/10

Ohio: I already told y’all how I feel about this flat ass boring state. I feel no need to slander it any more lmao. 3/10

Oregon: she flies with her own wings, mi amor🥰 to list all the reasons I like Oregon (and the issues too bc it ain’t perfect), I would need a whole other post. I’ll just leave you with this picture I took of Mt. Hood, the queen of our Cascades. 11/10

Pennsylvania: so apparently PN is three states hiding in a trench coat like NY. There’s upstate, philly and Pittsburg. Personally I think they’re just trying too hard and wanna get the same recognition as NY. Meh. 5/10

Rhode Island: THIS FUCKIN SHAM OF A STATE Just merge it with Connecticut and be done with it!! It’s tiny. Providence sucks. There’s nothing unique about this state that you can’t find in Southern Mass (except MA has cheaper taxes so y’all come to work and shop in MA anyways smh). Also the fingers are really annoying to drive down to get to some beach areas haha. 2/10 you’re barely better than Delaware.

South Carolina: my Black father was invited to a party celebrating General Robert E Lee’s birthday. So... 0/10

South Dakota: very gorgeous, didn’t realize the Missouri River went this far west, but VERY LARGE. I mean it looks big on a map but then you get there and... yeah. No speed limit on highways is a great time though. And the Badlands have mountain goats! 6/10 bc while pretty, living there seems really hard. (Picture is me in the Badlands).

Texas: gave us Juneteenth and Beyoncé and JJ Watts. Thank you Texas. But is very big, got independence from Mexico to keep slavery (yikes), is like 97% private land (yikes) and is like the second or third largest state. Very big. That said, everyone I’ve ever met from Texas is lovely. 6/10.

Utah: Other than Idaho, this is the whitest state I’ve been to. Or it feels that way. Like a, the people crossed to the other side of the street and held their bags because I’m brown, state. And I don’t ski so I can’t even say that’s a good thing (I fell off the ski lift the one time I went, long story). Yeah 0/10.

Vermont: wants to be New Hampshire or Canada and can’t decide which. So it’s just kinda there. Pretty hills though. 3/10

Virginia: let’s be real we all forget that Virginia exists west of Richmond. Nova is a beauracratic and traffic nightmare and half our neighbors had to pass security clearance checks. Hampton Roads and beach area is a tourist and mosquito nightmare. But there were dolphins and I made snowmen on the beach. Good times. 6.7/10

Washington: again, legally required as an Oregon resident to say fuck Washington because it’s all your fault we now are getting a toll on the I-5 border. But you’re better than California. And the Sound is really cool for fishing, love Wicked Tuna. And the fish market. Best salmon I’ve had. Eastern Washington... y’all got Spokane but the rest is kinda sparse. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ 8/10

Wisconsin: cheese is actually good. Again, pretty state, much larger than I initially thought. 7/10

Wyoming: this was the ONLY STATE I lost cell service in when diriving cross country. Kinda surprised it wasn’t Montana, but no, it was Wyoming. Views are gorgeous though so I was distracted either way. 4/10

Thank you for joining me on this cross-country edition of Tea Time with Hawk. Please respond with any reactions, corrections, addendums about any and all of the states mentioned. And thank you for taking part in this wholesome Clone Wars fandom discourse with me 🥰💕

DISCLAIMER: THESE RATINGS ARE ALL A JOKE PLEASE DO NOT ACTUALLY GET MAD ABOUT IT

#ohio discourse #50 states reviews #oregon #midwest #california #texas #New York #massachusetts #deep south #midatlantic #New England #united states #the clone wars #DISCOURSE COMMENCE

[theblackbirdsgemimagines]

May I request for the Leona, Vil, Azul and our boy Jack getting stuck in their MC's world and their experience? (MC is with them)

Oh sweet Jesus akdhakdhsk FORGIVE ME OF MY RATHER CYNICAL OUTLOOK ON OUR LIL BLUE PLANET 😬 I think it’s understandable to be more cynical than ever in this Hell Year, lolll

Send these poor, sweet babies back home, they deserve better than to be stuck here of all places 😅 ESPECIALLY JACK AAAAAA SAVE THE BABY 💔

Ok, not even going to play with you... Vil would thrive, lol.

Just give him time enough to stop panicking over all his lost clothes, magic, etc., and find new things that works for him and his detailed self-care routine, and whatever he chooses to do, he will make Fat Stacks in.

He’s the male version of Belle Delphine, here ajdhakdhsj

He appears anywhere, on tv with some company to continue his performer career he had back home, or on youtube/instagram, and he is almost immediately just as famous here as he was in Wonderland.

Can we really blame anyone, tho? Look at him.

And there’s no Neige here!

Also, ‘my’ Vil is definitely the one that knows there are many different ways to be beautiful~. He may be a bit more blunt to his friends if he thinks they’re not quite hitting the usual mark their talents place them in. But that’s only because he cares about them, and wants everyone to see their best, as he does~. He’s an absolutely encouraging sweetheart to anyone else/a beginner at whatever their passion is, though~. And either way, he’s your best cheerleader~.

Of course he still just doesn’t feel himself without his magic, or ability to do potions. I don’t think he’d find the witchcraft in our world would suit him very well.

If he was really stuck for good, of course he’d make the best of it. But if he could go home, especially if you wanted to go back with him, he’d jump at the chance. And always be on the lookout for the chance.

But that being said, I think, aside from all the world’s problems, of course, he’d find it interesting just how similar, and vastly different, things are here.

He donates Ass Loads to so many charities, like honestly.

Rich boy knows his privilege, and lets others ride off his advantages as much as he can. 💜

He becomes friends with James Charles. You know he does.

You can’t be truly fully beautiful if you’re not also lovely on the inside, too, after all~!

Rip Rook wherver he is, he is lost without his Queen 😔

Gosh, in direct contrast to Vil, Leona probably suffers the most over here?? Jahdkshdj

I know they based his sleep habits off a irl lion, but that also sounds just a Tad Bit like possible depression to me (along with a lot of the other ways he’s behaved so far, lol).

Get this sweetheart to some therapy, maybe?? Help him get a lil energy boost at least to help him feel better 💛

He’s going to HATE the work pace people have to maintain just to eat here, 100%.

He enjoys the entertainment the most, though~. Video games, things you can watch online, all those sorts of things~. Might like a few of our sports, too~.

Poor bby struggles with having to work, though, please help him 💔

At least he doesn’t have to live under being Forever Prince, here, and doesn’t have to worry about turning anything he touches to sand. And the lions in the zoos are pretty cool to go see~!

He’d probably love it if he could go to Africa and see what our “Afterglow Savannah” looks like here~. Meet the lions that are in the wild~.

I imagine he and Jack would both lose the ears for human ones, and the tails, too. (😢💔) So he probably feels weird seeing himself like that, and might miss his tail. Especially if it helped him with balance. Give him some time to adjust to it~. There’s these neat new tails people made for cosplay, that can move around on their own, if he’d like one to help him not miss his old one so much~!

I had to really think about what the heck he’d even do for a job, cause he’s so grumpy to everyone, retail’s just OUT, lol. And I don’t think he’d be that great at something like youtube, either ajdhsjjd

It’s hard for him to not just lay around all lazy, rather than think of stuff to do for it/actually get up and go do it. Let alone all the meetings, and interacting with fans, and the like.

So maybe actually being one of the zookeepers would be a good fit for him~. He’d be obligated to actually go, and he’d get to be around lots of different animals~. Might help him feel more at home, too~. I think he’d be pretty good at it, and the animals would probably be drawn to him~ 💛

He’d also absolutely challenge the authority here (or anywhere else that has appalling governments, especially if they’re not run by women). The state of things, and the way women and minorities are treated by white men around the world, and men in general, would absolutely appall him. He so drunk on that respecc women juice, he just can’t wrap his head around what the hell the problem is with those rich assholes in power. Put him in power, and he’ll ruthlessly show them what-for! ALL the others behind him would be women! Good grief, humans!

All in all, he doesn’t mind it here, but would also prefer to be home, where he can sleep more, and Ruggie can run around for him most of the time, lol

Besides, that allowed him to spend more time with you~! 💛

(LOOKIT THAT HAPPY BOY SMILE!!! I’M DEAD 💞💞💞)

Oh, Jack. Sweet, sweet Jack.

He absolutely becomes a personal trainer as a job, here. 1000%. He lives that Exercise Junkie Lifestyle, there’s just no doubt about it.

He’s VERY encouraging to his students, though~! Build up that beef, guys, he has total faith in you~! 🤍🤍

He absolutely loooooooves going anywhere to see wolves. He’d probably really love the wooded mountains in Europe, if you ended up there, or in Oregon/Washington if you ended up here in America~. Definitely Canada, or Alaska, too~! Just give him huge trees, snowy winters, and nearby mountains, and he feels right at home~.

Idk if he’d miss his magic a whole heck of a lot, tbh?? But he WOULD miss his friends and family! It’s just not quite the same here, though he thinks it’s beautiful and interesting to see where you came from~. 🤍

He’s a good boy 😭

Also appalled with the state of so many rulers and governings both in your home, and around most of the world, lol.

He can’t stand seeing so many people suffer like that! How can they possibly live the life that’s the most healthy and happy for them to live, disabled, chronically ill, or not, if they’re suffering under an iron fist all the time?!

He CAN’T stand for it. You won’t stop him till he sees good change starting to finally happen. Especially if you live here! There’s no way he can just sit around and have you be subjected to that!

HE’S A GOOD BOY 😭

You gotta calm him down a lot and remind him there are others just as good and kind as he is, fighting to change things too 🤍

God help people if he gets here anytime within 2020-2021. He’s sucker punching nearly everyone he sees without a mask.

He’s also sucker punching every nazi he sees, too.

My goodness, please show him the movie Wolf Children! He’ll hide the fact he’s crying multiple times through it, but it’s one of his favorite movies here~.

If you do manage to go back to Wonderland, please try to bring a copy of it with you. It’s the one thing he’ll miss most, and keep asking to watch with you again, before remembering it doesn’t exist there. 😭

He also misses his tail and ears a lot. Losing all of that + his senses would be very a very awkward adjustment for him, and he wouldn’t really like it poor bby 💔 Give him lots of hugs to compensate U-U 🤍

His favorite thing to do with you would probably be to go hiking, and stay in a little cabin in the woods, for a week or two~. Somewhere in one of the previously mentioned places~.

(I couldn’t find a chibi gif of Azul to use, rip 😭)

Azul is just straight up becoming a mafia boss, probably wkdhakdjjs.

He’s the ‘good’ kind, though. He’s learned his lesson since his overblot, and he won’t outright kill people for not paying him back, or introduce drugs, or anything like that.

He’ll help people obtain what they want as legally as possible... But that doesn’t mean he still won’t be sly as hell about it, haha~.

He’ll protect loyal/good customers and the areas they live in, too~. In fact, he’d probably reDUCE crime from doing so.

He just learns all the dirty ins and outs of everything about how things run here. And as much as he’ll fight for change as the others would, because there’s no way any of that is an acceptable way for you to live, he’ll work dirty in order to take advantage of the system, to do so. What better way, right? Make the dominos fall from the inside out.

He’s a good business man, he knows doing so would also benefit him, too.

He’s like Bruce Wayne if Bruce Wayne was a rich mafia leader jeehskdje

Need health benefits to work for him? Covered. Need above-average pay to actually afford your bills and other stuff? Covered. Need education to do a job for him? They’ll train you.

He’s also practically a Gordon Ramsey, tbh. Lots of his bars will pop up across the world, if he stays here long enough, lol. But they’ll all help a good number of people, in doing so~.

He also donates as much as he can, too. If he’s gonna become even a fraction as rich as Jeff Bozos, he’s ending world hunger and homelessness every year.

And boy oh BOY will he swindle the rich akdhakdhwj

He will whip them so hard, they won’t know what the hell hit them.

He may have been under restrictions at the college, but he sure as hell isn’t here. Watch out as he spreads his tentacles wings.

And, of course, he adores being anywhere near the coast. Doesn’t matter what part of the world you’re in, he just needs to be by the sea.

All the polution absolutely breaks his sweet little heart, and that’s one of the first things on his list to fix. Dealing with trash back home was much easier... you could just zap it all away at big trash fields. But you don’t have that luxury here.

Being that he doesn’t really like his ocotpus form (bbyyyyyy 😢💔), he probably doesn’t mind the permanent legs. At least he doesn’t have to constantly take a potion to keep them, anymore.

But it’s still awkward to get used to. And he can’t stand that he can’t breathe underwater anymore, or go too far down without dying from the pressure.

He’ll dive as often as he can~. And loves to dive, or snorkle, or just swim~, with you, if you want to join him~.

He does miss his home, if only for the beauty and familiarity it had, despite a lot of bad memories around it. But there’s no doubt he’d thrive here, in a way only he could~.

He totally believes your own version of mermaids exists, and gets excited over anything that could prove it to be true 😅

Plus, he’s just obsessed with how marine life works here in general~. If he can juggle being a freakin maffia boss, and a marine biologist just out of the pure love for it, I have no doubt he’d do it~.

Humans most likely evolved from creatures in the water?? That’s amazing~! So the ocean feels like a distant memory of a second home~! He’d love to bond over that, the romantic~ 💜

#twisted wonderland #leona kingscholar #vil schoenheit #jack howl #azul ashengrotto #twst leona #twst vil #twst jack #twst azul #sweet anon #answered #BLESS FOR THE ASK MY FRIEND I HOPE YOU LIKE THESE THOUGHTS OF MINE~! 💞💞💞

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day  /  i want the world to go away  /  i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake  /  i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''teen idle'' by marina

[writingkeepsmewhole]

I Need You

This is part 11 of The Cowboy and the Girl. It’s been forever I know. This fic is kinda hard to write. Gotta be in the right head space haha. Anyway here it is hope you like it.

Fic Summary: Trish remembers a dark part of her past.

Joel Miller x OC Trish

Warnings: Language, attempt at suicide, talk of murder,

I would love tag you: @amandamaesweetheart @jodiereedus22 @el-dibidibidorado1 @yourgirltaz​ @lemondropirwin​ @iovemoon​ @lookinsidemyhead​ @my-awakened-ghost​ @avengerssstuff​

Part 1  Part 10

I woke up to my mouth dry, that plus the thumping in my head told me I was most likely dehydrated.

Joel was nowhere to be seen but Ellie was putting her blanket inside her backpack.

“Where’s Joel?” I ask as I push myself up from the floor falling off the bean bag chair at some point in the night.

“No good morning?” She asks, smiling at me.

“Sorry, good morning.” I say getting my own bag to pack up.

“Joel went to go get Bill, guess he’s in a hurry to get rid of me.” She says shrugging, her eyes downcast.

“Don’t take it personally he’s in a hurry to get rid of me too.” I say despite what happened last night.

“Why do you say that? I got the feeling he likes you.” She says making my heart pick up a bit.

“He tolerates me. I make him like me.”

“So is that what I should do?”

“I think you should just be yourself, because you're awesome.”

“Your right I am pretty cool.” She says grinning.

“What are you two amaering about?” Joel asks walking into the room holding all of our cantens.

“You.” I say honestly watching him left an eyebrow in my direction.

“What about me?” He asks, handing me my canten it full of fresh water.

I quickly open it and take a drink so I don’t have to answer.

“Are you ready to go? I have other crap to do besides help you idiots.” Bill says stomping into the room.

‘How can someone be mad this early in the morning?’ I think as I put my backpack on.

“We’re ready.” Joel says jerking his head towards the door as if to tell us to get going.

I do as he said ready for whatever the day is gonna bring.

That was the thing about the end of the world. You didn’t get to wake up whenever you wanted, have a nice cup of coffee, watch some TV or browse the web. You hit the ground running and you made every little thing count.

It was hard and fast but it was the only way to stay alive.

Maybe that’s why I stuck close to Joel. Him never seeming to crack. He could go for what felt like months without sleep. He was strong and resurfull. They taught us in school that a female picks her mate, whoever is the strongest. In this world, I understood that.

Joel knew exactly how to lead us through anything.

He walked through a yard full of clickers like he was taking a stroke through the park. My heart was beating out of my chest the whole time but Joel knew when to stop and when to go.

I watched as he would use a bottle or a brick to distract them. Him using the bow we found yesterday to take out the runners.

I would sometimes get lost watching him. I knew it was stupid and pointless but I couldn’t stop the pull I had towards him.

I hated it truthfully. I knew getting attached to someone always ended in pain. The still fresh loss of Tess proved that.

Joel was cold but he was colder since it happened. I think we all were. None of us spoke as we snuck around the infected town trying not to get eaten alive.

But there was just something different about today. Something in my gut that I couldn’t shake. It hit me like a ton of bricks as we walked through a house a dead guy hanging from the ceiling. This could all be over in a split second.

“He killed himself?” Ellie asks but it sounds more like she was shocked.

“Yeah come on you don’t need to see this.” I say grabbing her wrist gently, pulling her back outside.

“I’ve seen worse.” She says making my heart clench.

“Well that doesn't mean you should see more horrible things.” I say take a breath.

“Are you okay?” She asks looking at me as I lean on the side of the house.

“Yeah, I just know what it’s like to be in that headspace. It’s not the best place to be.” I say memories filling my mind.

I sat on the wet ground, my hands numb, my breath puffing out in a cloud. Rain poured down on me but I didn’t move. I stayed on my knees, it was how I fell after I took another life.

I was surrounded by corpses. Not the infected kind but the very human kind. Most people would claim they had to. There was no other choice. But that’s not true. I could have talked, told them what they wanted.

That would have stopped them, or at least kept them from using me the way they wanted. I guess that didn’t matter now. It was too late.

I was covered in their blood in the literal sense. My clothes were torn and ripped. I could feel my muscles twitch the adrinial still pumping thru my veins. My heart, fighting to keep me alive in the condition I was in.

But I didn’t care, I felt numb. But why wouldn’t I be? I was a killer. The lifeless child in front of me was proof of that. Him killed by me before I even thought about it.

His father was the first to go, him leaving me laying the mud after he forced himself on me. Him not realizing he left a knife behind.

It's funny how fast you can kill someone with a blade. Your brain just cuts everything off, you black out and wake up to carrange.

It is most likely why Joel left me behind. Him seeing me black out like this one too many times. Waking up alone then being ambushed and taken away for days makes you care less about the people around you and care more about how to get out alive.

I jump when hands grab my shoulders. With the survival knife still in my hand I lift it ready to kill again before I even think about it.

“Trish it’s me.” Says a hoarse voice.

I blink away the rain looking up into the bruised face of Joel Miller.

“What happened?” He asks, pulling off his flannel and laying it over my shoulders.

It made me realize how bad I was shaking.

I drop the knife falling backwards, the mub slapping around me.

“I-I killed him.” I say looking at the kid.

“What happened?” Joel asks again, moving to help me to my feet. Them asleep, sharp tingles shooting through them.

My knees buckle under me, Joel catches me before I fall him letting out a grunt as he does. I look at him seeing a bleeding wound on his shoulder and maybe his side. All I could see was blood coming through his soaking wet white T-shirt.

“They took me.. I..” I don’t finish my sentence as Joel helps me walk to the nearest run down house.

Us in an abandoned trailer park. It growed up with weeds, and trees.

“They took me too. I thought they might have killed you. You had me worried.” He helps me into the house.

It wasn’t much warmer than it was outside but at least I wasn’t getting rained on. 

“You didn’t leave?” I ask looking up at him, surprised and relief filling my voice.

“Why would I leave? We make a good team, even if you are annoying.” He says setting me on the bed in one of the bedrooms.

“I’m a killer.” I say that explaining why anyone would leave.

“You and me both sweetheart.” He says turning away from me to dig through the dresser.

“They had me locked in here, trying to beat information out of me. I kept telling them they had the wrong guy.” He says sitting next to me with first aid supplies.

“I killed that kid.” I say looking at him feeling tears fill my eyes.

“You didn’t mean to.” He says gently pushing his flannel off me.

“How do you know?” I ask softly.

“You love kids. He surprised you I’m guessing.”

I nod the memory of it fresh in my mind.

“It’s okay, just try to forget about it.” He says looking me over for wounds.

Besides the busted lip and black eye I got while killing them I was wound free. Them preferring to use rape instead of there fist or wepons on me.

“You need to rest. I’ll leave you alone.” Joel says but it sounds far away.

I nod barely noticing him leaving and closing the door behind him.

I sit there staring at the wall. Replaying the events from today over and over in my head. I sat there even after it got dark.

I realized that it didn’t bother me as I sliced through those people. It was like second nature almost. I remember when I killed for the first time it bothered me for weeks and now I didn’t even think about it.

It was so easy to me I killed a child without thinking about it. Without pausing to see what I was doing.

I was a horrible person. I’ve become like the men inside that storage container. Something I swore never to do. I didn’t deserve to live.

As the thought whispered through my mind I knew it was true. I knew I had to do something. I couldn’t go on like this. The world didn’t need another mindless killer like I was becoming.

I looked around the room seeing a pistol on the dresser I stood up and grabbed it. It was cold and harsh in my hands. Like I never held one before. The weight almost seemed like too much as I lifted it to my head.

One bullet and the world would be a better place. It would be better off. Joel would be better off. I was annoying, I slowed him down. I was a monster.

Placing my finger on the trigger I could feel my hand shaking. My mind is having a war with itself. But the image of that child laying in the mud kept coming to the front. Telling me what I really was. What had to be done.

I didn’t flinch or make a sound when the door opened. Joel stood there with a lantern.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asks his voice thick and angry.

As if the weight of the gun became too much it fell from my hands just as I fell to my knees. Hot fat tears rush down my cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” I mumble looking up at him.

He sighs, placing the light down he moves to sit next to me.

“You’re a fucking idiot. What do you think you were gonna accomplish doing that?” He surprised me by wrapping his arms around me.

“I became a horrible person. I-.”

“Shhs with all that. You ain’t no worse than me.”

I don’t say anything, not knowing what to say. How do you explain the feelings I was feeling?

“Don’t ever try to do something like that again.” He says lifting my head makes me look at him.

His face shadowed by the dim light in the room but despite that I thought I saw tears in his eyes.

“I need you so you can’t be killing yourself.” He says letting go of me and moving to stand up.

I quickly reach out grabbing his wrist making him stop.

“P-please, don’t go.” I whisper my voice cracking.

He nods offering his other hand.

“Come on you need to sleep.” He says softly.

I place my hand in his letting him pull me to my feet. He leads me to the bed and pulls the covers back.

I climbed into the bed, Joel joining me on the other side after he turned off the light. I shiver the room seeming so much colder now.

I wasn’t numb or full of adrenaline so I was suddenly feeling everything again. I move closer to Joel without thinking, jumping when a jolt goes through me the moment my hand bumps his. His touch shocked me. Him grabbing my hand tightly.

Joel was lying on his back, his other hand tucked under his head. I was laying on my side facing him. My mind was fried from the past few days but I couldn’t sleep. The memories of what I did, of what happened to me not letting me rest.

I couldn’t tell if Joel was asleep. His eyes closed but that was it.

“Are you awake?” I softly ask if I woke him up but I was scared of what I would do if I laid there alone with my thoughts.

“Yeah, what is it?” He says roughly.

I chew my lip not having anything particular I wanted to talk about. I just needed a distraction.

“Did you mean it? That you need me?”

“I said it didn’t I?” He says harshly.

“Yeah, I just didn’t know if you meant it.”

“I wouldn’t have said it. Now I need you to go to sleep.” He says turning over to face me, his hand leaving mine.

“I can’t.” I whisper softly.

“I know. But you need to.” He says softly.

He places his hand on my face gently stroking my cheek.

“Just close your eyes and think happy thoughts.”

I nod my head doing what he says praying it works. The soft caress of his hand helped me to drift off into much needed sleep.

#I Need You #The cowboy and the girl #the last of us #the last of us fanfic #the last of us joel #tlou joel #tlou #joel x reader #joel x oc #Joel X you #joel x y/n #joel imagine #joel fanfic #joel fanfiction #joel fic #joel #joel miller fic #joel miller x Oc #joel miller fanfic #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #Joel Miller #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller imagine

[soulwillower]

What song is 100% garunteed to get the characters u write for beyond turnt and will be sung loudly and emabarrasingly, either in public or the shower?

these are so fun omfg keep these coming!! lots of these are from my 2000′s throwback playlist haha but i did a few for each 

first off, ALL the losers go fucking ham to ‘mr brightside’ for SURE

mike hanlon just goes so hard to ‘space ghost coast to coast‘ by glass animals he also for some reason loves ‘empire state of mind’ by jay z idk man also ‘float on’ by modest mouse, ‘SWEET’ by brockhampton, and ‘stacy’s mom’ by fountains of wayne LOL

bev marsh probably will scream anything. but loves ‘genghis kahn’ by miike snow, also will lose her mind at ‘rather be’ by clean bandit, ‘paper planes’ by M.I.A. also loves ‘IPHONE’ by rico nasty!!!! GOD such a gr8 song

ben hanscom obviously loves nkotb in the movies so ‘you got it’ for SURE and ‘safe and sound’ by capital cities, ‘it’s gonna be me’ by NSYNC, ‘my body’ by young the giant, and 'jessie’s girl’ by rick springfield

eddie kaspbrak will go so hard to pat benatar’s ‘we belong’ especially when bev sings with him. also goes surprisingly hard for ‘sweatpants’ by childish gambino, and loves ‘stacy’s mom’ just as much as mike (if not more). probably knows all the lines of fergalicious LOL 

stanley uris canonically loves paul anka so i say he will belt out ‘put your head on my shoulder’ any day of the week. but also ‘i would do anything for you’ by foster the people, ‘fluorescent adolescent’ by arctic monkeys and ‘i’m a believer’ by the monkees (or the smash mouth version too lol)

bill denbrough just fucking vibes with ‘take a walk’ by passion pit and also ‘what you know’ by two door cinema and ‘animal’ by neon trees tbh. also ‘all the small things’ by blink 182 FOR SURE OMG. also just like bev - ‘genghis kahn’ by miike snow

richie tozier will do this with any song tbh BUT since he canonically loves buddy holly and little richard he will belt out ‘rip it up’ and ‘you’re so square’...he’d fucking SCREAM to ‘people’ by the 1975 and also sing so loudly to ‘put your records on’ by corinne bailey rae in the middle of a shopping mall or grocery store

aiden hall i rly get ‘locked out of heaven’ by bruno mars vibes. icon by jaden also, and probably sings ‘electric love’ by borns to himself in the shower AHHHH cute!!

jacob barber really just seems like he’d love kanye’s ‘heartless’ lol and also ‘time to pretend’ by MGMT he gets stuck in his head a lot, ‘the middle’ by jimmy eat world, and ‘collard greens’ by schoolboy Q

stanley barber fucks with bloodwitch as we know so ‘gotta have soul’ and all those. would fucking SERENADE people (esp his partner) with ‘love really hurts without you’ by billie ocean. he loves ‘girls on film’ by duran duran and WILL SCREAM THE WORDS!! 

also stanley barber would 100% know all of the lyrics to WAP and i will not budge on this 

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

with you [chapter one]

Summary: Clementine pops the question, Louis has nightmares, Violet can’t let go of the past, Mitch doesn't know how to handle gross feelings, Ruby's a goddamn sweetheart, Willy doesn’t ever remember to knock, Aasim can't dance, and James is here, too.

Nothing like a wedding to bring this family together.

Note: Holy shit, you mean I’m finally posting actual [with you] stuff again? Yeah, I can’t believe it either. If for whatever reason you don’t know why this is being re-uploaded, then you can find all the information on this post here. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask. 

Otherwise, I want to thank everyone for taking the time to read my stories and for the support y’all have given me through this nonsense haha. It truly means a lot, and I can’t tell you how nervous I am about posting this because I AM proud of it and I want y’all to like it, too! 

So, I hope you enjoy it! Thank you! ❤️

Ch1 | Ch2

Read on: AO3 | FF.net | Wattpad

---

A supply run to the train stationed was a spur of the moment decision. 

While finishing up their morning hunting trip- checking and resetting traps, hunting adult rabbits and capturing any babies for their ever-growing rabbit farm- it seemed their duties were done. Just as they were ready to head back, Louis mentioned it wasn’t too far away.

“Up for a little adventure?”

Given that they’ve torn the place apart, Clementine wasn’t sure if it’s really an adventure to travel that way anymore, but AJ was more than willing to go back and look around. 

She figured it wouldn’t be so awful to go and collect anything they might’ve missed from their previous trips, though she felt this was more of an excuse to stay out longer, to enjoy the cool air and each other’s company.

Aasim deemed it a waste of time, choosing to take back everything they collected and meet up with Mitch and Willy, mumbling something about repairing one of the gates. 

Up ahead, but not too far, Louis tells some crazy, exaggerated story as AJ hangs on to every word. Something about Aasim and a shark, she gathers. It’s ridiculous enough to make her rolls her eyes but smile all the same, especially when AJ calls him out on absurd details.

“Aasim doesn’t have a peg leg!”

“Or does he? Tell me this, has anyone actually ever seen Aasim’s bare leg? No, and that’s because it’s a peg stuffed into a boot.”

“No, it’s not!”

Clementine spots a walker lingering in the trees from the corner of her eye, its head twitching with interest at the sound of the boys’ laughter. 

It’s the first one she’s spotted today, likely due to James doing his part of their arrangement.

They worked out a decent system when first offering him a place to stay; anywhere they plan to hunt or scavenge, they let James know in advance so he can gather and lead stray walkers away, making trips a lot easier and quicker. In exchange, he’s welcome to stay in a room and eat with them whenever he wants. 

He rarely stays multiple nights in a row, but Clementine’s glad to see him and the others get along when he does stick around. 

She picks up a large rock and chucks it. The walker follows the noise with a low gurgle.

The decrepit train station is empty. 

The dead couple remains as left; slumped over, tied to their chairs, and still holding hands. 

They try and gather as much as they can, like salvageable, leftover food hidden beneath the trap door, duct tape and a few bandages. Clementine finds a working lighter beneath the table, stuffing it in her pocket as heavy thump vibrates behind her. 

“Oh-ho!” Louis calls out from behind the counter. “Looks like I found your secret stash.”

Clementine quirks a brow, leaning over the counter to peer down at him. He flashes her a bright smile and waves a beaten up chocolate bar.

“Seriously?” When she tries to reach for it, he teasingly jerks it away.

“I don’t think so, darling,” he pockets the bar. “Gotta save stuff like that for a special occasion.”

“Special occasion,” she scoffs. “Like?”

“Like when it’s your birthday, or if it’s someone else’s birthday and you forgot to get them a present,” Louis glances away, shrugging a shoulder with a sheepish grin, “or, y’know, for date night.”

“Date night, huh?” 

“Woah...”

From behind her, AJ shuffling around the dead couple, unfolding something small and gray. Upon a closer look, Clementine can tell it’s a wallet, and from it, AJ pulls out a five-dollar bill.

“Look at that,” Louis approaches the boy with a grin, “looks like dinner’s on AJ.”

“Huh?”

Louis takes the wallet and pulls out some credit cards. “By the looks of it, we’re getting a three-course meal.”

“With extra dessert,” Clementine smiles.

“Triple dessert.”

“Quadruple dessert.”

“Now, that’s what I’m talking about!”

AJ looks between the two of them, clearly confused. “I don’t get it.”

Louis goes to explain, but something small falls from the wallet with a soft thump. A plastic casing preserves a photo with handwriting on the back and a bent corner. 

“Oh.”

“What is it?” AJ asks.

Louis holds up the picture, motioning to the couple. “It’s, uhm... their wedding photo.”

“Wedding photo?” AJ studies the picture. Clementine moves around them to look as well.

It’s jarring, the idea that the young couple are the same people as the decaying bodies in the chairs before them. They’re both so clean and happy with wide smiles and life in their bright eyes. 

The woman’s beautiful, Clementine thinks, with her hair braided back into a bun of curls and her cheeks a pretty pink. Her dress glows white with glittering details, and the diamond ring is visible on her hand resting against her husband's chest.

“They look...” AJ’s mouth twists as he searches for the right words.

“Happy?” Louis offers.

“Well, yeah, they’re smiling, but...” AJ looks at the dead bodies. “I don’t know. It’s weird. Why’re they dressed like that?”

Louis laughs, “Well, little dude, back before the walkers came, people used to get married. It was a pretty big deal, and when they did, they’d have a wedding. Think of it like a huge party with lots and lots of people to celebrate the couple’s marriage.”

“Okay,” AJ says. He takes the photo and studies it. “What does that mean? To be married?”

“Uh, well,” Louis scratches his neck, “it’s what people used to do to prove they really loved each other, I guess. It was, like, this big step to take to marry someone and call them your wife, or your husband.”

“Everyone did it?”

“No, not everyone.”

“How come?”

“Uh, well,” Louis says, “it wasn’t for everyone, I guess.”

“But anyone could do it?”

“I think so.”

“Even me?” asks AJ. “I can get married?”

Clementine smiles. “You’re a little young for that right now.”

AJ frowns and crosses his arms. “How old do I gotta be?”

“Well, there isn’t really a set age-”

“And I can marry who I want?”

“Yes, but,” Clementine shoots Louis a glance, looking for help with an explanation. He shrugs a shoulder in response, clearly amused.  “It’s not something people do anymore.”

“Why not? I mean, you just throw a party. We’ve done that before. And I can marry whoever I love? Like you, right?”

At that, Louis laughs. Clementine sighs. “Uh...”

“Marriage wasn’t for that kind of love, buddy,” Louis says, “it’s a bit more complicated than that.” He puts the picture back into the wallet and tucks it into the dead man’s pocket. “These two didn’t love each other like you and Clem do. They got married because...” Louis’ smile almost turns sad, “they were in love, as a couple.”

“Oh...” AJ thinks, “oh, like a kissing love.”

“A kissing love,” Louis agrees. “Exactly.” 

He winks at Clementine, making her roll her eyes and suppress a smile. 

“Like you and Clem?”

Warmth rushes to Clementine’s cheeks as a loud, nervous laugh escapes Louis.

Before AJ can ask his next question, there’s a soft bang against the door. The conversation’s forgotten as they glance among themselves, silently telling each other to stay on their guard, get low and carefully maneuver to the door. 

AJ peeks out the window, confirming their suspicions. 

“Monster.”

Clementine nods. “Just one?”

“Looks like it.”

They all stand, relaxing a little. The door’s closed, so one walker isn’t a threat.

Louis hauls a hefty bag over his shoulder. “Well, I think we’ve gotten all we can get,” he says. “We should head back.”

“Right.”

Louis hesitates, glancing back at the walker couple. It’s quick, but she catches it. The look in his eyes is like whenever someone mentions Marlon or Brody or other fallen classmates, or whenever he brings up his parents in passing. Almost a sad nostalgia, with maybe some pity and longing. She hasn’t quite deciphered that one yet. 

Regardless, it’s gone when he turns back to AJ, Chairles in hand, saying, “Think we can take that deadhead?”

Clementine remains behind as they go, the crack and squelsh of the walker skull being struck echoing from outside as she approaches the couple, glancing down at the man’s rotten hand entwined with his wife’s.

He still has his ring on.

“Clem?”

“...Coming.”

---

It stuck with her for the rest of the day. 

From when they entered the gates of the school again, continued with their daily chores, all throughout dinner, to now sitting on the couch with Louis in front of the burning firepit. His arm rests comfortably behind her as he chats with Omar, allowing her to lean back into his shoulder and chest. 

From what she could tell, he wasn't thinking about it, and neither was AJ. 

He let the conversation of marriage go after Louis moved onto another topic. She knew he was trying to avoid the obvious question on AJ’s mind to spare everyone the awkwardness. 

“Like you and Clem?”

Like Louis and her...

Marriage isn’t something she thinks about. Not truly, anyway.

Sure, there had been that dumb “marry, ‘flip’, kill” question that seemed to come up during their card games, and sure, from all the groups she’d been in, some had married couples.

Like Kenny and Katjaa.

Christa and Omid.

David and Kate. 

Rebecca and Alvin.

And before the walkers, her parents had been married. Happily married with little to no problems. 

She doesn’t remember a lot about them, but some things stood out in her brain when she concentrated hard enough.

Like how her father would always kiss her mother’s cheek before going to work and after coming home. It didn’t matter if she was cooking, or still in bed, or working on a project, or on the phone, he always kissed her. It was like some unspoken rule.

And how they laughed together. Her father had this deep, rumbling voice that practically shook the house when he laughed, and his laugh only made her mother laugh harder.

And the cute names they called each other. 

Sweetheart. That’s what her father called her mother. 

Sweetheart.

But, marriage isn’t something that stuck in her brain, not something she actively thinks about. 

Seeing that wedding photo, the couple who chose to die together tied to those chairs, and actually talking about it, hearing Louis talk about it, seeing him look back at them the way he did... it stuck with her.

And-

Something lightly tugs as her hair, breaking her thoughts. She cranks her neck to look up at Louis as he pulls something from the messy ponytail of her hair. 

“Sorry, you had some grass there,” he grins, holding up a green stem before flicking it away. “Figured you wouldn’t notice with how zoned out you were. Where’d you go?”

“Nowhere.”

“You went somewhere.”

“I was just enjoying the fire.”

“Hm,” Louis nods before reaching up to tip the hat off her head. “Here, turn around.” 

She shifts around with her back to him and hat in hand as Louis, as gently as possible, frees the purple band from her hair. His long fingers attempt to comb through the absolute mess of curls, and if she weren’t so used to him doing this by now, she’d be embarrassed by the disaster placed upon her head.

“Haven’t heard from James in a while,” Louis mentions. “Didn’t see him out there, either.”

“There were barely any walkers today, so he’s out there somewhere. Probably in his camp.”

“He does know that he as a bed here, right?” Louis begins braiding her thick locks, weaving chucks of curls the best he can, “I mean, it’s nothing fancy, but it has to be better than sleeping on the ground. Or in a tree.”

“Maybe you should tell him that,” she suggests with the hint of a grin, glancing back at him with a perked brow.

Louis chuckles. “Yeah, because I’m gonna get through to him.” He jerks his chin over to the tables where Mitch and Willy sit together with Ruby and Aasim. “If you and Mitch can’t convince him to stay permanently, then I’m afraid no one ever will.”

Louis ties off the braid, placing it over her shoulder to look at. 

He’s gotten better at this. The first time he ever braided her hair, it was, for lack of a better term, very ugly. 

Aasim was appalled upon seeing it, insisting he shows Louis how it’s done. Which was a bizarre thing to learn about him- Aasim could braid hair quickly and beautifully. 

Since then, Louis’ skills have improved immensely. 

Facing him again, she smiles, leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek. 

“Thank you.”

He goes to speak, but Ruby’s approaching figure catches their attention.

“Ya got watch, Lou,” she jerks her thumb back at the post. “You and Aasim.”

“Aw, seriously?” Louis pouts, which quickly turns into a smirk. “Hey, wanna switch? I can take your morning shift and you can go with Aasim tonight?”

“Nope,” Ruby shakes her head, pointing back at the tower. “Get goin.’“

Louis slouches, mumbling quietly, “I tried, my dude...”

“Don’t keep ‘im waitin’.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Louis stands, reaching his arms high over his head to stretch out his body. He lets out a satisfied groan as they fall back to his sides. “I’ll be there in a second.”

Ruby nods before walking off.

His foot taps hers. “Guess I’ll see you tonight,” he says, leaning forward. His fingers caress her jawline as he lightly pulls her towards him and places a quick, soft kiss on her lips. “I’ll try not to wake you.”

“Goodnight,” is all Clementine can muster up to say.

“Goodnight.” 

He leaves her with a smile. 

And as she watches him walk away, twirling the end of the braid around her finger, it occurs to her with a single, strange thought.

I want to marry that boy.

---

Clementine tries to fall asleep, but she’s restless. She doesn’t know how long she’s laid there, but no position, no angle allows sleep to take her.

AJ snores quietly in his bed on the other side of the room, and Louis still won’t be back for a few hours, leaving her with nothing but a near-silent room and noisy thoughts. 

It’s maddening. 

Not bothering to gather her boots or grab her hat, she tiptoes out of bed and slips out, quietly closing the door behind her to not disturb AJ. 

Footsteps thump against the wooden floors causing her to turn, alert and listening. 

Violet keeps her eyes forward as she walks down the hall, not giving Clementine any acknowledgment as if she were nothing but the door itself. 

Clementine watches her, a greeting caught in her throat that she pushes down. 

By now, she knows better. 

To say it’d been awful between the two of them ever since the delta fight two years ago would be an understatement. She still can’t even breathe in Violet’s direction without getting ‘fuck you’ eyes, and talking was completely out of question. Not that Clementine didn’t still try, but it seems that Violet’s determined to keep herself in the shadows of the school. 

She’s gotten a little better, though. Two years ago, she’d only talk to Tenn and Louis. As time went on, she expanded her daily communications to Ruby, Omar, and Aasim.

Not her, though. 

Louis once tried to help them patch things up. 

It didn’t go over well.

Clementine tries to put it out of her mind as she moves down the opposite direction. Down by the entrance doors, grumbles echo through the quiet air where she finds Ruby grimacing at something in her hands.

“Hey,” she greets.

“Oh, Clem,” Ruby smiles. “Thought you went off ta bed?”

“Can’t sleep.”

Ruby expression softens. “Bad dreams?”

“No.”

“AJ snorin’ too loud?”

Clementine chuckles. “No, I’m just not tired, I guess.”

“Ah, well, ya wanna help me fix Willy’s shirt?” she holds up a dirty blue shirt with a tear along the side. “Got it caught again and didn’t bother stopin’ to untangle himself.”

“Sure.”

Clementine kept the shirt still and flattened against the table while Ruby goes to work.

“Wish that runt would be more careful,” she murmurs, “always tearing his clothes up. What’ll happen if he ruins all of ‘em? That boy’ll be in nothin’ but rags here pretty quick.”

“You could have him sew his own stuff.”

Ruby scoffs. “Yeah, right.”

Clementine watches her steady hand as she sews in comfortable silence. Being around Ruby like this is peaceful. The two had gotten close over the years, and for that, she’s grateful. She adores Ruby.

“So, somethin’s got you wanderin’ around this late. What’s on yer mind?”

Clementine hesitates, thoughts going back to earlier at the train station, as well as racking her brain for any time she’s ever talked “romance” with the girl before her. Aside from a few comments about her and Louis, nothing sticks out. 

 ”Can I ask you a personal question?”

“Sure, hon.”

“Have you ever liked someone? Like, had a crush?”

The redness on her cheeks brightens as Ruby blinks down at her needlework, processing just what the question entails. “I-uh- what in the world are ya askin’ me that for?”

“Just curious if anyone ever caught your fancy,” Clementine replies. She didn’t think the question would actually make her flustered.

Ruby pokes herself with the needle, hissing a cuss.

“Well,” she says, “hate ta disappoint you, but no.”

“Never?”

Ruby shakes her head. “Nu-uh.”

Clementine thinks back to Aasim and Louis’ constant teasing of the poor boy.

“You don’t like anyone here like that? Not even a little?”

Ruby hesitates.

“No.” 

She finishes sewing up the shirt and holds it up in front of her. 

“Why the sudden question?” she asks. 

“I don’t know,” Clementine answers honestly. “Just was curious, I guess.”

Ruby shifts her weight onto one foot and scratches at her arm. After an awkward silence, she sighs. 

“Well... alright, can ya keep a secret?”

Clementine perks up, nodding, “Yeah, of course.”

“Don’t get excited. He, uh... he’s not real.”

“What?”

Ruby’s blush deepens. “Sometime after all the adults left, I had a hard time sleepin’ at night. Ms. Martin was startin’ ta worry ‘bout me. She told me I should try readin’, it’ll take my mind offa everything, and I remember tellin’ her how stupid that was. But...” Ruby sighs, “I still let her read ta me before bed one night. A love story called ‘The Woodsman.’ Well, kinda a love story. She read it so well and,” she grins sheepishly, “I guess I kinda fell in love with Milo.”

Clementine smiles back. “Yeah? Why’s that?”

“Milo’s this handsome woodsman doin’ everythin’ he can to help support him and his family, right. He’s kind, like, genuinely kind. And the way he describes and talks about Abigail just is enough ta melt your heart. Or make ya cry, mostly both.”

“Do they end up together?”

“No- Well, sorta? Ya see, Abigail’s taken and forced ta live on top this big ‘ol mountain by this old, ugly witch as punishment fer Milo killin’ one of her wolves- uh, it makes more sense when ya read it,” she explains, running her fingers over the fresh stitching in Willy’s shirt, her mouth twisting. “Milo tries and tries again ta climb the mountain and save her, but every time he gets a little bit closer, he slips and tumbles down.”

“Shit.”

“Everything he does, he does it fer her. To free her of that witch’s cruelty. And the crazy part’s that he doesn’t even know if she loves him back. He don’t care if she does or not, he keeps climbin’ anyway and it eventually kills him,” Ruby shakes her head. “Never makes it back to Abigail.”

“That’s... awful.”

“Can’t tell ya how many times that part’s made me cry,” Ruby laughs dryly, “and it’s even worse ‘cause as he’s laying at the bottom dyin’, he’s still thinkin’ ‘bout how only he knows she’s up there and only he can save her and... he dies. He dies and becomes a star.”

“A star?”

“In the sky. High up there and he watches and protects her from the witch until eventually, Abigail dies, too.”

“And becomes a star, right?”

Ruby nods. “Right.” 

She folds up Willy’s shirt neatly, draping it over her arm.

 “After we lost Ms. Martin, I went through some of her things and found the book. Can’t tell ya how many times I’ve read it. Guess I always liked the idea of someone lovin’ me that much, enough ta fall down a mountain over and over again just ta save me. It’s justa silly fairytale,  ‘cause I know someone like that doesn’t exist, but… thinkin’ they do still helps me sleep at night.” 

“That’s not silly,” Clementine grins. “I think it’s really sweet.”

“Don’t tell anyone,” Ruby smirks. “Don’t want ‘em ta think I’m too soft.”

Clementine laughs. “I won’t.”

Ruby’s gaze falls as she mulls over something, something sorrowful passing over her brow. Clementine nudges her. 

“Hey, you’ll find your Milo someday.”

“...Ya think so?”

“I do.”

With a sincere, thankful grin, she says, “Well, sorry I blabbered so much. Think it’s time I hit the hay. Thanks fer helpin’ me and... fer listenin.’”

“Thanks for sharing that with me. It sounds like a good read.”

“I’d let you borrow it if ya want.”

“I think I’d like that.”

Ruby beams at her, smile wide across her face. She gathers all her things and is just about to walk back to her room when Clementine stops her.

“Ruby?”

“Hm?”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

“Don’t hafta,” Ruby says. “Just ‘cause I shared, I mean.”

“I know.”

“Well, alright, then.”

Clementine hesitates, and in a whisper, she says, “I think I’m in love with Louis.”

Ruby laughs. “Oh, hon, that ain’t no secret,” she grins, “it’s all over yer face when yer together. His, too.”

“No, I mean...I really love him.” Clementine laughs again, this time feeling silly herself. “Y’know, if Louis were cursed by some witch and put on top of a mountain, I’d never stop climbing to get him back. Is that crazy?”

“No,” Ruby walks toward her, reaching down to grab her hands. “Not at all.”

“Really?”

“Really,” Ruby says firmly. “In fact, you should tell him that.”

“Yeah?” Clementine smirks. “’Hey, Louis, by the way, if you ever happen to get cursed and kidnapped by a witch, I promise to save you.’”

That makes Ruby giggle. “Well, if any one of us were ta get cursed, it’d probably be him.” 

They laugh together now. 

“Does he already know? You ever tell him how much you love ‘im?”

“I have,” Clementine says. “Lots.”

“Good. Ya never know in this world... don’t want any more regrets than we already got.”

“I know. Believe me, I know.”

---

He shouldn’t still be thinking about it, but he is. 

Even now, up on the watchtower looking over the silent forest, Louis thinks about all the times he, Clementine, and AJ have gone back to the train station, trying to remember if he ever stopped to actually look at the walker couple hunched over in their chairs together. 

No, he barely paid them a glance once he knew they were taken care of. 

Now, they’re all he can think about. 

“You’re quiet,” Aasim mentions, lowering his binoculars and paying him a side glance. 

“And you’re observant,” he retorts without missing a beat. 

Aasim’s gaze falls down to the deck of cards in Louis’ hands as he absently shuffles them, but says nothing more, rolling his eyes and turning back to peer through binoculars.  

Watch is uneventful as always. 

Not that he’s complaining- it’s what Louis prefers. 

A calm, quiet night of watch is better than a night of being constantly on edge, panicking at an extreme increase of incoming walkers, or catching assholes trying to sneak in. 

No, he appreciates the silence outside the walls.  

It gives him time to think about things. 

Back home- well, back in the old house he lived in before being sent away to Ericson, they had an incredible dining room on the first floor. Monochromatic, with dark hardwood floors and a glass chandelier above the dining table. 

There was a fireplace, too. They only used it during the winter, but above the mantle hung a beautifully framed photo of his parents on their wedding day. Around the holidays, when the fire was ablaze and his jam-packed stocking hung from the mantle, his mom would string lights around the frame, the same lights trimming the rest of the room. 

And for the life of him, Louis can’t actually remember what the photo itself looked like, what his mother’s wedding dress looked like or if his father had his beard or not. He can’t even remember what color the background was. 

The only thing he remembers about it is seeing it poke out of a cardboard box the morning he was being brought to Ericson, surrounded by several belongings packed away, ready for a move away from the freshly bare walls and empty fireplace. 

Of course, all three of them were going in different directions. 

He hasn’t thought about that for a long time, but thumbing through the walker’s wallet and seeing their wedding photo struck something. 

His parents were happily married at one time, just like the walker couple. They fell in love, had a wedding, had him, and then everything went downhill from there, didn’t it? 

“Tomorrow, we should work on expanding the kennel for the rabbits,” Aasim mentions. “We’ve got two who could have babies any day now.”

“Lucy one of ‘em?”

Aasim frowns. “Dude, I told you not to name them.” 

“I didn’t. Willy did.”

“...Wait, seriously?” Aasim sighs, rubbing at his brow. “I told Mitch to keep him away from them. They’re not pets, they’re food.”

Leaning forward with his elbows against the wooden edge, Louis rubs his eyes and sighs. 

He needs to stop thinking about this shit- his parents, marriage- it’s all in the past and nothing will come out of letting it weigh on his mind. 

He forces himself to think about how at the end of his shift, he gets to go back inside and up to his dorm where Clementine’s waiting for him, then he’ll get to climb in their warm bed and finally get some sleep.

Hopefully. 

Shit, he needs a distraction. 

“You even see anything out there?” he asks.

“No, everything’s quiet.”

“Good.”

Moving closer to Aasim, Louis shuffles his deck of cards one last time before dealing out seven to Aasim and himself, setting the rest between them. Picking up his cards, he moves his fours all together and waits for Aasim to get the idea. 

With a sigh, Aasim follows suit. 

“Usual rules?”

“With a twist.”

“Of course.”

“Winner gets to ask the loser a question.” 

“Fine.”

“Alright... got any fours?” Louis asks.

“Go fish.” 

“Damn.”

He draws a card. 

Aasim rearranges his cards, asking, “Got any sevens?”

"Double damn.”

Louis hands him his seven.

“Nines?” Aasim asks. 

“Go fish.” 

---

The night sky is a comfort compared to inside, the cool air offering more solace than her own bed.

Rubble crunches and kicks beneath as Violet drags her feet, her focus stuck on the cracked cement, fallen bricks, and the upcoming bell laying motionless on the side. It’s rusted over from years of being left in the rain, a sickening metallic smell emanating off of it.

She comes to a stop, her gaze stuck without really looking at it, as if her thoughts have smeared her visual focus. Thinking back on it, there isn’t a time where she remembers the bell actually being attached where it was meant to be. Not that it really matters. She’s not here to admire the fallen bell and it’s greater purpose, nor to mourn its untimely fall.

“Vi?”

She nearly jumps, whirling around to find Tenn watching her, his fingers twisting nervously and concern furrowing his brow.

“Shit, Tenn,” she curses, fully facing him while crossing her arms over her chest. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I’m on patrol,” he says, reaching into his pocket to proudly pull out his patrolling knife, the same one AJ uses when he walks around at night. “I saw you come out here and you looked mad.”

“So you followed me without saying anything?”

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay,” he offers a soft grin. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t,” she lies, rolling her eyes. “I’m fine.”

He nods slowly but doesn’t turn to leave, instead eying her over-sized coat and the bell she stands beside.

"It’s a little cold out here. Why don’t you come inside? It’s late.”

“I said I’m fine, Tenn. I’m just getting some fresh air.”

“Then, do you want some company? I can take a break from patrol and go up there with you.” 

She knows he’s trying. He’s always trying with her, trying to get her to talk to him the way she used to or smile or… something. 

Sometimes he as bad as Louis in that regard.

“No.”

“Oh.”

She hates to think it or feel it or whatever, but right now she can’t deal with him. She can’t deal with anybody. She can barely stand to look him in the eye and his voice gnaws at her eardrums, too loud and too damn concerned. 

She just... really needs some quiet. 

When he doesn’t move or say anything else, Violet turns on her heels and approaches the stairs, only for him to call after her.

“Are you sure? I can climb up with you-”

“I said I’m fine, Tennessee,” she snaps much harsher than intended. “Go back on patrol.” 

The effect of her words is instant in his soft, slightly hurt expression.

Fuck.

“Oh-okay,” he stutters out, nodding. “Just- just be careful not to slip, and if you need anything...” he trails off, waiting for any type of response. When he doesn’t get any, he turns and walks back the way he came, adding, “Goodnight, Vi.” 

She watches him go, wanting nothing more than to bang her head against the bell until it rings. 

Why the hell did she have to do that? Why couldn’t she just say, “Thank you, Tenn, I would love the company” or “Thank you, Tenn, but I want to be alone right now” or-

It doesn’t matter now. Tenn’s gone, back on patrol and doing his best to protect them and the school from danger. She’s proud of him for that, though she’s never had the opportunity to tell him that. 

No, that’s a complete lie. 

She’s had plenty of opportunities. Every time she sees him practicing his bow with Willy or learning defensive strategies from AJ, she could easily walk over there and tell him how good he’s doing. 

But she doesn’t, because each and every time those things happen, Clementine’s there with him. 

And that just-

Fuck. 

A yawn builds up in her throat as she takes the first set of stairs to the wall. She shakes it off, beginning her climb to the top.

Another sleepless night that will undoubtedly lead to a deep sleep in the morning. Seems to be her usual schedule these days; complete daily tasks with as little issue as possible, eat dinner, retire early and pretend to try and fall asleep for the rest of the night until dawn breaks, then actually sleep until breakfast is long over.

It’s not so bad when she has night watch, but tonight’s not the case.

In fact, tonight’s a completely different story.

She managed to fall asleep peacefully with a full belly and a relaxed state of mind, something that’s rare even now. She’d been hopeful curled up in bed with the comforter wrapped around her, and that was stupid.

“Shit,” she hisses when her foot slips, causing a short pang of panic in her gut before she catches her self, holding tight and waiting as Tenn’s words repeat in her mind. 

She wonders how long it would take them to find her body -her walker body- if she did fall, as morbid as that may be. 

Deeming herself safe, she continues her climb.

It was a good dream.

Of course it was.

The one night she finds some peace and her own brain has to fuck it up with false, happy realities. On top of it all, she crossed paths with Clementine on her way here and that made everything worse.

Now it’s all she can think about.

The mere sight of her pisses Violet off.

Though, at this point in her life, she’s not even sure if she can accurately pinpoint why. They haven’t spoken- really spoken- in nearly two years but the pain is still present in every second she’s near and Violet can’t stand it. She refuses to stand it.

Never again.

The breeze is stronger at the top, sweet against her face and through her hair. It’s one of her favorite feelings to be up here alone beneath the stars, the wind calming and the sight breathtaking.

Planting herself down in her usual spot, Violet takes a few deep breaths and pulls off her jacket, digging around in the pockets for her notebook and an old green glitter pen.

The notebook isn’t traditional in style, but completely handmade with loose leaf paper sewn together and her name decorating the cover. It was a gift she received two years ago from Tenn, Aasim, and Ruby when everything seemed to finally calm down after the delta.  

It’s a gift that she’s held onto earnestly, one that she used regularly, one that she needed.

Aasim said it was for her thoughts because “writing’s easier than talking sometimes,” and that’s one hell of an understatement.

She refused to write in it at first, knowing that once she did, everything that happened would become more real and the weight of that would crush her into dust. It wasn’t until that fight with Louis that she began writing in it, listing a number of ways she could possibly apologize to him.

Now, it contained everything; memories, different constellations she found in the night sky, thoughts, observations, mini diary entries…

Sometimes she wrote about her parents, her grandma. Sometimes she wrote about the others, sometimes she wrote about Louis, about Minnie, about Tenn.

Sometimes she wrote about Clementine.

Sometimes… she wrote about the delta, the interrogation room, about the cold water, the walkers, the explosion…

And sometimes, she tore pages out and tried to forget.

Opening up to the next blank page, Violet draws a series of dots representative of stars before connecting them in the shape of two birds. Next to one, she draws a speech bubble and writes, “Fly away with me!”

She sighs.

It was a good dream, far from a nightmare and somehow, that made it worse.

She and Minnie were in the fishing shack, lying on the bed and holding hands, talking in muffled, obscured voices. Everything around them was warped, but they were together without any chaos.

Violet always wanted to do that.

She always wanted to go there with Minnie, carve their initials on the wall together, then cuddle in bed while Minnie sang to her until the sun set. When night fell upon them, the need to be together kept them in that bed, even at the cost of worrying the others.

That never happened.

The closest Violet ever got to the fantasy was waking up early and going there by herself to carve the initials, then leading Minnie back as a surprise.

That was the first time they ever kissed.

But, that was it.

They grabbed their spears and went fishing.

The only thing memorable about the kiss is that it was her first. Quick and a little awkward, but enjoyable, she thinks.

Maybe.

Fuck, it was so long ago.

Violet rubs her face on the sleeve of her shirt, murmuring “stop” several times under her breath.

While being up here is calming and peaceful, now that she’s sitting alone beneath these stars, Violet realizes just how lonely it can be.

Yeah, lonely.

It’s fucked but it’s nights like this that she wishes for the comfort of another beside her to talk to about this stuff, but when someone offers her it to her like Tenn did, she refuses it. 

Why?  

Because she actually longed for the comfort of a girl who aided in her suffering at the hands of an evil bitch hellbent of kidnapping as many as she could for her army? A girl who had a face she once loved but eyes as hollow as cold space itself and who was a lovely yet sorrowful memory she’s held on to for far too long, but just can’t seem to loosen her grasp of?

That comfort is a falsity, a pipe dream and she knows it. 

No, she longed the comfort of friends who desperately want to help her no matter how much she pushes them away. Someone who understood the pain she felt and comforted her with beautiful art and kind words, or someone who saved her life and loved her and never stopped trying.

Someone there in the flesh who offered himself to her every day who she repeatedly turned away from.

Because isn’t that who she is now…?

A person who craves the comfort of interaction but also flees from it the first chance she gets.

One big, stupid, fucking contradiction.

But at least she has the night sky, right? 

No matter what, the moon and the stars would never truly leave, they’d come back to her every single night, and that’s more than she could say for most. 

---

Clementine’s still awake when Louis sneaks in. 

He tries his best to be quiet, stopping at the door to slip off his boots and jacket, tiptoeing around before slowly sliding into bed with her with a huff.

She lifts her head off the pillow, silently watching him rub at his tired eyes. 

“Hey,” she whispers.

“Shit,” he curses, startled, but relaxes when she sits up on her elbows. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t,” she sighs. “Been in and out.”

Louis scoots closer to her so that her chin rests against his shoulder. He entwines their fingers, bringing their hands to rest against his chest. 

He’s freezing from being outside, so she yanks the blanket up closer to fully cover them, causing him to let out a content sigh.

“How was watch?” she asks.

“Same ol’, same ol’,” he replies. “Convinced Aasim to play go-fish with a twist ‘til he got mad,” he yawns. “Asked him when he’s finally going to confess his undying love to Ruby and he threatened to throw my deck over the wall.”

Clementine chuckles. “Sounds about right.” 

They find a pleasant position with her arm around his waist and her body pressed snug against his back. He kisses the back of her hand as his eyes flutter shut, the day's exhaustion catches up with him.

"Guess we’re going to expand the kennel tomorrow,” he says. “Lucy and another rabbit are going to have babies soon, so that’ll be a lot of fun.”

“Hmm.”

“How was your night?”

“Better now.” 

The corner of his mouth twitches into a grin.

Their hands raise and fall with every breath he takes, and soon he’s fast asleep. His heartbeat is soft against her hand, the rhythm a sweet lull. She keeps herself awake a little longer to make sure he remains peaceful.

She runs her thumb over his, thinking back to the couple in the train station, wondering what their last kiss was like, what their final words to each other were. She wonders if there were a lot of things left unspoken, things that wanted to be said, needed to be said.

She squeezes his hand and allows her eyes to rest.

#[with you] #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg clouis #clouis #twdg louisentine #louisentine #twdg aj #twdg violet #twdg aasim #twdg ruby #twdg mitch #twdg willy #twdg tenn #twdg james #twdg omar #twdg fanfics #twdg fanfiction #[with you] chapter one #louis twdg #clementine twdg #clouis twdg

[dhawanmasters]

and miles to go before i sleep

i saw @amikoroyaiart‘s devastating reddie fanart and this one-shot flowed right through me because i love Suffering.

“Richie couldn't remember when he first heard of the legend of Ludlow. It was a campfire story — as if Derry itself wasn't some kind of twisted campfire story.  Deep in the woods in Ludlow, past marshes and fallen trees and great sucking mud puddles, there was a patch of ground where if you bury your dead, they'd come back to life.

This was the part of the story Richie was clinging to, not the part where the dead would come back wrong.”

cw: death, noncon, suicide, definitely no happy endings

Richie sat in the front seat of his ostentatious car, going 25 over the speed limit, practically begging to be pulled over.

Comedian jailed after speeding, found to be in possession of a corpse — wouldn't that be some wild, made for TMZ shit? He barked out a harsh laugh, sparing a glance over his shoulder at the body laid out in the backseat. A corpse, a body? Show some respect to the love of your life, Richie! 

The love of his life… 27 years spent feeling like a part of himself had been torn out, that some kind of secret lobotomy had made him incapable of feeling love for a person. Never settling down and blaming it on the nature of his career. Then he stepped back into Derry and saw Eddie Kaspbrak again.

Eddie Kaspbrak, who died saving his gangly ass, like he deserved it or something. 

Eddie Kaspbrak, who was now cold and going through rigor in the backseat. 

Richie, honey, he's dead.

Not for the first time on this fucked up road trip did he start to sob, loud and wet and hiccupy. His vision blurred with tears behind his glasses, which were still stained with Eddie's blood, and he only cried harder.

He was going to make this right. If he could get to Ludlow without some state trooper pulling him over, he could make this right.

---

Richie couldn't remember when he first heard of the legend of Ludlow. It was a campfire story— as if Derry itself wasn't some kind of twisted campfire story. But to tell the story of Derry meant confirming the evil that had lurked there and that wasn't something many were able to do. So they talked about Ludlow instead.

Deep in the woods in Ludlow, past marshes and fallen trees and great sucking mud puddles, there was a patch of ground where if you bury your dead, they'd come back to life.

This was the part of the story Richie was clinging to, not the part where the dead would come back wrong.

Whether or not he actually resurrected parts of his family, some doctor was found dead with his wife and two children in the farmhouse at the edge of the woods. And because true crime was such a booming business, the house had been scrubbed from top to bottom and thrown on Airbnb with all its lurid history. And because Richie Tozier had a platinum AMEX, he was able to rent the house for a week.

Once he got across Ludlow town lines, he took his lead foot off the gas and slowed down a little. He was still drawing too much attention, though, with the flame-red sports car and the fact that he looked like he crawled out from a sewer because, haha, he had. If any shit went down, the locals were sure to point to him.

A few minutes later, he pulled into the driveway of the farmhouse, right next to the main road. There was a key in a lockbox, which he retrieved before he shouldered his bag and Eddie's giant suitcases into the master bedroom. Then he was right back out to the car to get the more precious cargo.

He had fought tooth and nail to get Eddie out as Neibolt crashed down around them. He clung onto him, his blood staining his front as they all waded through waist-deep rushing water, up through the well and the crackhouse before it fell in a heap before them.

After a long moment of silence, sprawled in the dirt, cradling Eddie's body, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

W-w-w-we gotta b-b-bury him, Richie, Bill had said gently. 

Bury him. Words spoken by their fearless leader made everything far too real. Richie began to sob into Eddie's shoulder, clutching him, willing a heartbeat to rise to his chest. 

I'll bury him, Bill. I'll find the perfect place.

---

Richie hadn't paid much attention in school, but as he walked through the forested wetlands behind the farmhouse, snatches of poetry came to mind:

The woods are lovely, dark and deep, But I have promises to keep,    And miles to go before I sleep,    And miles to go before I sleep.

It was impossible to know how far he walked, only that he could feel something guiding his steps, making sure his feet found the right path. In his arms, he held Eddie, and if he didn't know better, Richie could swear he was just sleeping. His eyes were closed now, his face blank, not a mask of pain but smooth, almost innocent. 

"I promise, Eds, I'm gonna make this right," he said into the foggy blackness of the forest.

Promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.

Finally, he reached a clearing with a great stone staircase, leading to a summit, and it didn't take a genius to know this was the place. Richie felt some mysterious power flowing through him, giving him strength he didn't otherwise have to climb to the top with Eds draped over his shoulder.

The air was clean and thin at the top of the mountain and he could see out for miles around him, a sea of tree canopies stretched out ad infinitum. The stars winked in the blackness of the night sky and the nearly-full moon illuminated the patch of rocky earth where Richie began to dig. 

Out here, time had no meaning. All he knew was the task before him, removing great clumps of the dry dirt that stained and bit into his hands. His fingernails chipped and his palms bled but at last, there was a shallow trench big enough to accommodate Eddie's body.

He reverently picked up his body, settling him in face up in the cold ground. "You won't have to be here long, Eds, I promise."

Promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep.

He stared at Eddie's face for a long moment—his strong jaw, his dark brows, the stray pieces of hair that fell over his forehead. He pressed his bloodied hand against his cheek, tried to stifle a ragged sob. 

"We'll be together soon," he whispered, voice cracking in anguish. He began to push the piles of earth into the trench, letting it cover Eddie's body completely. Once he was hidden beneath the dirt, Richie stood, wiped his palms on his jeans, and stumbled back into the darkness.

---

Richie woke up in the farmhouse, long limbs splayed out on the bed. He was still in his clothes, covered in sewer muck and blood and burial ground dirt. Bleary-eyed, he looked down as his hands, filthy and scratched raw. His whole body ached and his stomach growled with hunger but first, he needed to shower. 

Sitting up in bed, he yelped when he saw someone at the edge of the mattress. 

"Eds…?"

"Hey, Rich."

He scrambled over, throwing himself at Eddie and pulling him into a tight hug. He sobbed against his shoulder, this time, tears of joy and relief making wet tracks on his cheeks. When he pulled back, Eddie was looking at him placidly, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"We killed IT, didn't we?"

"Yeah buddy, we sure as fuck did."

Eddie nodded, the smile disappearing as he asked, "What happened to me, Richie?"

He paused, frowning slightly. "It doesn't matter, Eddie, you're here now."

"It was cold where I was. And dark."

"Yeah well, old Pennywise wasn't the best interior decorator."

After another long moment, Eddie met Richie's gaze. "Can I clean up?"

Rich gave him a wide, relieved smile. "Eddie, my love, you can do whatever you want."

---

Eddie sat in the bathtub and for the first time, Richie saw this might not have been the best course of action. 

For one, Eds barely noticed the water was brackish around him, that he was sitting in his own filth instead of washing it away beneath the showerhead.

The water, dirty as it was, was so hot as to be steaming yet Eddie didn't seem to register the heat. He stared blankly in front of him, those once-bright eyes now dark, deep and almost black in his skull. 

Second, there was a ragged, gaping hole in his chest.

This wasn't the way that Richie had wanted to see Eddie naked but something about his thin voice and hollow eyes made him want to stay by his side, even while he bathed. Eds didn't seem to have any objections to him sitting on top of the toilet seat.

Stealing glances, he could see straight through that hole in Eddie's chest, see that he wasn't drawing breath, couldn't possibly be drawing breath. 

What were they gonna do? Had Richie really expected to be able to bandage Eds up and bring him back to Chicago with him? No one knew Eddie was dead except The Losers and what if they came sniffing around? Did he really think no one would notice his undead...what? Richie never got to tell Eddie how he felt before he bit the big one. What if Eds wanted to go back to New York, back to Myra? 

Maybe he could call Kevin, his assistant. He had savings, stocks, credit. He could buy this fucking Maine crapshack and just live in the woods with Eddie for the rest of his life. And then what? 

He really didn't think this shit through. Typical.

"Richie?"

He raised his head, meeting those dark, undeniably empty eyes. "Yeah, Eds?"

"I died, didn't I?"

Richie swallowed hard, couldn't say anything, merely nodded. Eddie nodded back in confirmation, understanding. 

"It was my fault, Eds," he said, tugging at his shaggy hair, eyes welling up with tears "You didn't deserve it. You died saving me and it wasn't fair. I...I needed to make things right. And I did, you're here now. Nothing bad's gonna happen to you again." 

Eddie didn't say anything. Richie sighed, got up from the toilet seat. "I'm gonna make us some breakfast. There are clothes on the bed."

---

They had survived day one. Richie had spent most of it on the phone, trying to talk Kevin down from the ledge as he urged him to cancel the rest of his tour dates and find out how much the owner was asking to buy this Airbnb.

Richie, are you having a nervous breakdown or something? 

Or something.

The Losers had all tried texting and calling him but Richie ignored them all. Their questions were all the same — Are you alright? Did you bury Eddie? Do you need anything?

He got what he needed; he got Eddie back.

Eddie had parked himself in a ratty armchair and stared into space for most of the day as Richie finally washed himself off then went to pace around the farmhouse. 

With clothes back on, he could almost forget the hole in his best friend's chest, but the shower hadn't alleviated the lingering scent of earth and rot that clung to him. Rich had turned on the ancient tv to make it a little less quiet, a little less weird, but he knew Eddie's black eyes weren't focused on the screen.

Eddie hadn't eaten the eggs Rich had made for breakfast or the mac and cheese he made for lunch and dinner. 

Corpses don't eat, dumbass.

Rich took some of his sleeping pills to ignore the cold feeling of dread that had settled in his stomach and fell into a fitful sleep.

---

Rich woke up to a strange sensation on his skin accompanied by a wet sucking noise. He frowned, moaning slightly, pushing his hips up into the feeling. His sleep-drenched brain finally caught up, realizing that he wasn’t dreaming, he was actually getting a blowjob. 

Reaching for his glasses, he saw Eddie grinning up at him, his black eyes shining in the darkness, his fingers wrapped around Richie's half hardened cock. 

"This was what you wanted, right?" He asked, his voice gravelly and wrong. "This was really why you brought me back, so you could have your gayboy happy ending."

Richie winced, trying to wiggle away from Eddie's grasp. He ran his rotted tongue over the head of his cock, lapping up the precum that had pooled unbidden. He mewled in confused pleasure, Eddie's other hand holding his hip down with more strength than he should've been capable of.

"You’re selfish, Richie. All that whining about making things right? Spare me, you fuckup. You just wanted a chance to get your dick wet, your rocks off, wanted to live out some queer fantasy. Lil Richie homemaker."

"No, that wasn't, it wasn't…" This wasn't Eddie, not his Eddie. This was like Pennywise had found him again, the same nasty words and tricks bubbling up from his mouth. Hadn’t they killed that fucking clown? Maybe he should've paid more attention to the stories, the legends of Ludlow's Pet Sematary. The dead came back wrong.

Sometimes, dead was better.

"Face it, Richie. The only way you could get me to love you is like this. Does it feel good, Rich?" The Eddie Monster asked, nails digging deep into the skin of his hip, making him yelp. He needed to fight back. It wasn't his Eddie, it wasn't his Eddie, he repeated to himself, smacking his large palm against his temple, hard enough to wiggle out from the monster's grasp. He pulled up his pants and kicked his long leg out, hitting Eddie in the nose with the heel of his foot. He felt bone crunch but the thing in his bed just laughed.

"It was your fault I died, Rich. Time for me to return the favor."

Eddie launched himself at Richie, who managed to stumble out of bed and out of the room. He fell in the hallway, the time it took to pick himself up just enough for the monster to catch up to him, yanking his leg out from under him once more. Richie's face hit the baseboards, knocking the wind out of him.

“See, I’ve always been fast, Rich. When you don’t need to breathe, you don’t have to worry about asthma attacks,” Eddie said with a vicious laugh. He had Rich pinned beneath him, throwing his glasses to the side. He roughly cupped his face in his hands, thumbs easing over his cheeks towards his eyes. 

I did it, Richie! I killed IT! 

Richie thrashed wildly beneath him, trying to buck the smaller man off of him but he only gripped tighter, laughed louder.  

“Now you, you’ve never been able to see so well. Maybe it’d be easier for you without eyes.” 

“Eddie, please, you don’t have to do this,” he sobbed, long arms held up in front of him, trying to find purchase on the other man’s throat. 

“You didn’t have to do this either. You brought me back, Richie. You brought this upon yourself.”

Richie drew one of his hands back, fumbling in the pocket of his sweatpants, finding some smooth and cool to the touch. He’d placed it there while Eds was watching tv, unnerved by the way he stared unblinkingly. He nicked himself drawing it out but managed to draw the blade from his pocket knife, slicing his throat open. 

A stream of thick black bile streamed from the open wound. Eddie laughed and laughed as the goop covered Richie’s face until the laughter turned to chokes and sputters, and he fell off Richie’s prone body. 

Richie sobbed as he gripped the knife and stabbed it over and over into Eddie’s chest. 

-- 

The scent of burning flesh hung heavy in the air as Richie sat in the backyard, another grave freshly dug, the charred body at the bottom of the shallow hole. There were no more tears to cry. The monster, Eddie, had been right. He was selfish and needy and he’d done this to himself.

He had taken what felt like every pill in Eddie’s suitcase, his head swimming, his stomach roiling as he tried to keep them all down. Maybe he’d see Stan where he was going. Maybe he’d see Eddie too, even if he didn’t deserve it. All he could hope was that Eddie’s soul had made it to a better place, hadn’t been warped by whatever was out there in the woods.

He took a long sip of beer, looking at the freshly piled mound of earth. It looked like a good place to rest. He set the bottle to the side and climbed atop the mound, closing his eyes. 

He had walked all the miles. Now it was time to sleep.

At the head of the grave, before he took all the pills, he made a makeshift cross. In the wood, like he’d done with he was a kid at the kissing bridge, he’d carved into the planks R + E. 

#reddie #reddie fanfiction #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #it chapter two #richie tozier x eddie kaspbrak #pet sematary #pet sematary au #reddie au fic #cyanide fic* #congratulations i played myself!!!!

[thepinkwriterr]

Loner // IT 2017 Chapter Fifteen

Red Hot Chili Peppers - Soul To Squeeze

--

all the love from thee With all the dying trees I scream. The angels in my dreams (yeah) Have turned to demons of greed that's mean.

Where I go I just don't know I got to got to gotta take it slow. When I find my piece of mind I'm gonna give you some of my good time.

Today love smiled on me. It took away my pain say please All that you had to free You gotta let it be.

//

Danielle’s POV

Wednesday

April Thirteenth , 1993  

I stormed down the hallway, rage fuming in my veins. As I walking down the hall from last period, Richie Tozier came into sight. As I passed him, he stuck his foot out, tripping me. I stood up to see he was laughing.

Now I’m storming toward his car, ready to fuck up his day. As I reached the blue car I heard the familiar tune.

Lightning crashes a new mother cries

This moment she's been waiting for

The angel opens her eyes

Pale blue colored iris

Presents the circle

And puts the glory out to hide

I stood back, speechless. He still listens to the song? The anger I previously had flushed my body. I turned, scurrying away from the scene.

I looked for Bill’s car, but didn’t see it. In actuality, I didn’t look very throughly. I wanted to walk home. I pulled out my walkman and plugged my headphones in. I pressed the play button and the music played through my speakers.

When I arrived home Kali’s car was in our driveway, but James’s wasn’t. I opened the front door, slamming it behind me. I ran up the stairs and into my room.

Today has been the worst day of my life.

Waking up with a pounding headache, I naturally wanted to go back to sleep. But I had a whole ahead of me. Casey started running her mouth about me in Math, so the principal wanted to speak with us. Naturally, I said something “inappropriate” and got three days detention. (Starting Thursday).

If my day wasn’t bad enough by then, if I didn’t already want to jump off the top of the school building, Bill got mad at me for messing with Casey.

Beverly told me it would be better if I didn’t sit with them at lunch because Bill was so mad. I honored that and ate with Ben’s friends. By then, I didn’t feel like talking. But, his obnoxious friends kept talking to me. Ed Cocran kept hitting on me. So, I bit his finger.

Ben told me none of them ever wanted me to sit there again because I was “buzzkill”. I didn’t particularly care what they thought me. They were annoying and unintelligent.

And then at the end of the day, Richie had tripped me and laughed his ass off. I was angry until I heard that song. But, on my way home I had picked up the feeling again.

I closed my eyes, drifting off. Right as I felt my body relax, I jumped up. I had to meet with Eddie today! I jumped out of bed, running down the stairs.

I dialed the number I remembered Eddie had given me for his home phone. “Hello?” A woman’s voice sounded over the receiver. “Um…is Eddie there?” “Who is this?” “Uh-someone from school. We were supposed to work on a project today.”

“Hm…Is this Beverly Marsh?” “Uh-no-this is Danielle Sinclair.” “Hello?” Eddie’s voice was heard opposed to his mother’s. “Boy, is she harsh.” “She means well.” I chuckled,”Well, um, we were supposed to work on our project today.”

“Uh, yeah, I know. How about we work on it at your house tomorrow?” “Sure. You wanna ride home with me?” I asked, resting against the door frame.

“Yeah, that sounds good.” “Alright. We can pick up supplies on our way here. See ya then.” “Bye.” He hung up, leaving the dial tone ringing in my ear. I hung the receiver back on the hook, climbing back up the stairs and into my room.

Kali’s POV

Waking up, dreading what I was to face in the day. James has been gone for almost a week. But, I got a goodbye dinner and a beautiful night before he left for two weeks.

One week left without him. This week is gonna be hard…

He graduates soon, and then he’s going to study abroad for a while. I could tell our relationship was running low, as we had little time left.

We luckily ate lunch at the same time, so I drove to see him during my lunch hour. We met up at a small diner on campus. I had twenty minutes to eat with him.

I hummed as I found myself a seat in a booth, reading over the menu. I placed the melody in my head as Soul To Squeeze. “I gotta bad disease…” I sang quietly.

“From my brain is where I bleed…” I heard the familiar voice sing back. “Insanity, it seems, has got me by my soul to squeeze.” I sang back as he sat across from me.

“What’s on the menu for today, buttercup?” He asked, raising a dark eyebrow. I smiled,”I’m having waffles.” “Breakfast for lunch? Whats your problem?” He joked. I gave a small giggle,”I didn’t have you to make me breakfast this morning, so I didn’t eat.” He fake gasped,”You didn’t eat? Whats wrong with you!”

I laughed, rolling my eyes. “Hm…I don’t know what I’m gonna get. Nothing here is vegan…” He sighed. “They have water.” I smirked. “Haha, very funny.”

Breaking into a toothy smile, I felt corny. “Did you two find everything alright?” “Um, I have a question. Do you have any vegan options?” “Hm…Yes, I’ll go get the menu.” She smiled. “Thank you.”

He breathed out heavily when she walked away,”Thank god…” I giggled at him. “What?” He asked, looking up from the regular menu. I shook my head, a smile plastered to my face,”You’re a dork…”

“I’ll see you later.” He kissed my cheek as we departed. “Bye.” I smiled, getting into my car. The drive back to school was laborious and took a lot out of me. Tears couldn’t help but develop in my eyes.

Danielle’s POV

When I woke up there was a ringing at the doorbell. I rolled my eyes, climbing out of bed. When I got downstairs I opened the door quickly.

Bill was at my door step, smiling softly. That smile kills me. The pink sky behind Bill illuminated his pale face, giving everything around us a soft glow.

“Can I come in?” His soft voice sounded. I nodded, stepping to the side. We went to the living room, sitting on the couch. “Where’s James?” He asked as we sat. “I think he went back to school. I don’t really care.” “

A-anyway, um- I want to apologize. I acted like a jackass over something stupid. I didn’t want to start anything with Casey, because I wanted her to leave us alone. I shouldn’t have acted like that, and I really do apologize.” I sighed,”I accept you apology, and we can move on from this.”

He hugged me tightly,”I’m sorry. I-I love you…”

#it #it movie #it movie 2017 #it 2017 #eddie kaspbrak #ben hanscom #richie tozier #richie tozier x reader #bill denbrough #bill denbrough x reader #finn wolfhard #finn wolfhard x reader #lgbt #sophia lillis #bev marsh #beverly marsh #beverly marsh x reader #bev marsh x reader #fanfic

[karmanticmoved]

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

no

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

[bredsticon-blog]

title: ¡quake! & ~the wave~

desc: by day, you're a reporter for a sketchy newspaper called the exposé. by night, you're a hero named ¡quake! (the exclamation points actually stand for the ground shaking). you and a fellow reporter, brandon arreaga, have recently found the lead on a villain's identity: ~THE WAVE~ (the tildes actually stand for the water... er, waving). ~THE WAVE~ is also your archenemy. who is also brandon arreaga. ...whoops.

part: one (déjà vu)

tags: superhero au, dark! brandon arreaga, humor, love square, gender neutral reader (as always), cussing, mentions of drug use, alcohol, & death (later on)

word count: 1.2k

notes: i have a really large kink for weird multipart aus so expect more to come :^) i have an edwin and austin one coming up. whichever i update first depends on the responses i get

You're not groggy and foggy this morning. You haven't had your coffee yet and the sun isn't peaking through the boarded windows, but you don't stumble around your room, either. Not like there's much to stumble around. Furniture is hard to move from house to house. That, and you stuffed too many confidential documents in the couch cushions to trust any moving company.

In fact, you're never groggy and foggy in the mornings. You don't need to drink coffee. You could step outside in your costume, turn to the wall of flashing lights and microphones, and say three words: "I want chairs." and every furniture designer in the world would scramble to ship their best pieces to you. Not that they'd know your address—you've made certain that no one would—but they'd try.

You make your way to the living room, gingerly stepping over piles of unopened letters covered in kiss prints and heart stickers. Your fans discovered your past home, so you had to move before they found out who lived there. A box T.V., slouching on one of your untouched packing boxes, blares in the corner. You grimace and cover your ears, but you can still hear it.

"International supervillains quake at the sight of ¡quake! Haha, that was a nice one, wasn't it, Normani? Last night, ~THE WAVE~ was found plotting to stea—"

You dart to the TV and turn the volume down one notch. It goes mute. There you go, that's it. Bliss.

Not for long.

Something goes off near your hip. You scramble in the deep plush of your pajama pockets. It's like an earthquake. Your skin vibrates along with it. Your fingers clasp around smooth plastic, and you tug your phone out.

"HELLO, STERLING."

Your boss's voice explodes in your ears; you grimace, throwing your phone to a couch.

"Yes, boss?" you say, answering to your alias. Sterling wasn't your actual name, but that's what your boss calls you when she's on the phone. In case someone's tracking.

From the couch, her voice is less booming. "Sterling, a certain friend of yours has told me that you moved again? Without telling me?"

But just as terrifying.

"Yes, boss. People found my address and started sending things. Most were good but... gross things, too. Y'know how it is now. Normals have a fetish for me. My kind."

You give her a second to respond.

"You're lucky I pity you, babe." Your boss is one of a kind. She's the only person in the world who pities you. "If you weren't you, if you didn't have your condition, if you didn't always give me the juiciest stories, I'd damn near fire you for moving so much. On my bill. This is the sixth time this year, no?"

You nod, then realize that it's a phone call. "Uh- yeah. It is."

Since you're a "superhuman," the government requires that you register to UN, fingerprints included. Your superhero identity would be tacked on every piece of ID you ever own.

The thing is, you're one of the only heroes with a living archenemy. Which means you don't exactly want everyone to know who you are. Which also means that the government doesn't know you exist. Can't file taxes, buy anything substantial, or get a proper paycheck. You just rely on your boss's money to keep you afloat. Every time you move, it's been on her card.

She sighs. "Fine, fine. Just keep up the good work. You being... you is worth it."

"Will do."

"Speaking of good work, I have an assignment for you. You know that person that's been bugging you for the past few years? Well, after the information you gave me, Brandon's found something new on them." Her voice takes on a sparkle. "This is gonna be big. If this doesn't blow up our paper, I don't know what will."

Your eyebrows shoot up. Wait a minute—is she talking about the bane of your existence? ~THE WAVE~? The person that's been messing you up ever since you got your powers?

"The thing is, my darling Sterling, it's so big, I will need your sharp senses. Brandon refuses to leave this story, so both of you are going to work on it."

There's only six reporters working for the Exposé—and she's putting two on one story. That's one third of her entire business. On one story.

"Now, dear, could you tell me your new address so he could do a little hop and skip to your place? Some of this stuff is deeply sensitive."

You whisper it in the a special code you two formulated. Your ears pick up a faint scribbling sound, and she speaks once more.

"Wonderful, wonderful. He'll be over at three!"

She ends the call.

You gulp. Your house is the definition of a wreck. You have fan gifts addressed to ¡quake! all over the place, and as far as Mr. Arreaga is concerned, your name is Sterling, and you're just a humble reporter. You haven't brushed your teeth yet. You didn't take a shower in two days. Your good fits are still in your car. It's two o'clock.

As the great Captain America once said: Fuck.

You speed through your personal hygiene, going in and out of the bathroom to dig through boxes. You knew you should've unpacked sooner. You knew it, and you didn't.

After that, you take all your gifts into the basement. Or, rather, roll them into the basement, since you couldn't carry some. Being ¡quake! didn't give you super-strength, and one person literally gave you a tree (their prized Pennantia baylisiana). You have no idea how that went through UPS, but it did, and you also had the ignorance to bring it with you when you moved. You truly question why little kids look up to you.

You aggressively dust the house, push around furniture, pick a good fit, and sneeze a good fifty times before finishing. The boarded windows look suspicious, but you can just say you're a conspiracy nut. Brandon doesn't much about you, so you can make up whatever bullshit you want. Chances are, he'll believe it.

None of your coworkers know that much about you, really. The other five are pretty much brothers, while you've kept to yourself. For good reasons. You haven't killed your archenemy yet. Until then, you've vowed to keep your hero life away from your personal life. It's the only way to keep everyone safe. Especially when it's your archenemy.

So you chit chat with them, act friendly but not too friendly, just average. You bring good stories, though, the latest scoop, all that. Even if you hold back a bit, you know enough about the criminals in this area to satisfy any paper. It gives you a good excuse to act like you're leaving for an assignment when you're actually just punching ~THE WAVE~. Your coworkers don't know more than they need to. And you plan on keeping it that way.

The doorbell screams. You kick the last fan letter into a corner, and you rush to open the door.

Brandon gives you a smile.

He's cute, but still just your coworker. You gotta keep him at arms-length. You smile back, knowing you look completely dead inside.

He meets your eyes. His are dark. Like an inked signature. Like a new moon on a cloudy night. It flips a switch in you, a spark of coldness, a wisp of familiarity, and your eye twitches. Déjà vu. He stares at you. Neither of you speak.

Then he blushes. "So, uh, I'm guessing this is where the infamous Sterling lives?"

--

a/n: i know this sucked ass. dont remind me

#prettymuch #brandon arreaga #prettymuch imagines #prettymuch imagine #pm imagines #pm imagine #prettymuch fanfic #pm fanfic #reader x brandon arreaga #brandon arreaga x reader

[blame-canada]

I Think - Crenny

Kenny is just starting to tiptoe into the realm of boyfriend terminology with Craig when he gives him a gift he could never repay him for. The way to Kenny's heart is his family, after all, and with the way he's gotten to see all their smiles so brightly this Christmas Eve, he's about ready to pop the question. He thinks, though, he thinks.

Hello everyone! I was given the opportunity to post the Secret Santa gift fic that I wrote for @kotaii-san! It’s some Christmas Eve fluff, just in time for Christmas Eve. It’s a bit long to be posting on Tumblr, but I guess that’s what cuts are for, haha. I hope you enjoy. :) Read it on AO3 here!

“I don’t mean to be a bratty teenager, but this sucks.”

The words hurt Kenny more than he wants to let on. At thirteen, Karen has had her fair share of pubescent girl meltdowns, and Kenny’s cleaned up the aftermath more times than he can count. In Kevin’s defense, he’s helped too, but the older he’s gotten, the more detached he’s become. His mother tries, sometimes, but more often than not she gets so overwhelmed so quickly that before Karen’s even done screaming, she’s reaching for the nearest illicit drug. It’s frustrating, but it’s life, he supposes, and Kenny sometimes wonders if in a different world he could have been dealt a better hand. It’s not worth the trouble to dwell on it now though, because the three of them are busy sitting huddled in the center of the living room, touching shoulders for warmth because the heat is at a bare minimum, and finding patterns in the stains on the carpet with their mouths shut and their fingers curled around small hands of cards.

“It’s not your fault,” she adds on, because apparently he hadn’t hid his disappointment well enough to keep it a secret and she reads him like a book anyway. “You do your best. It just kinda sucks.”

Kevin shivers while he nods, and the guilt in the pit of Kenny’s stomach weighs him to the floor so that he sinks further into the circle they’ve made, nearly touches noses with the discard pile. Sometimes in December he dreams of Stan’s house, or even Cartman’s, where it’s warm and there are soft lights and candles everywhere and pine needles wrapped around the banisters and fallen on the tree skirt that adorns the very bottom of their Christmas trees.

The McCormicks have never had a Christmas tree. He isn’t sure if it’s because his parents never thought it was important, couldn’t afford it, or both. He’d been planning on surprising them all with one this year with a meager savings he’d accumulated from the jobs he’s been working to help pay the bills, but it had to go to an emergency window fix, the glass punched out in a fit of rage. Kevin’s hand is still scabbed over and bruised on the knuckles.

“Do you think mom will be home in time? For midnight? Uno,” Karen asks as she drops a card onto the pile, because for some reason they still care that their family is together while the calendar turns to the twenty-fifth. Their father walked out ages ago, which was probably for the best. Now their mother works late into the night and early in the morning, and they don’t see her very much anymore. Kenny understands, but they all miss her, regardless of how horrible she can still be. It’s not a perfect place, and maybe when they move out they’ll each have their own revelations about just how toxic and abusive the household they came from was, but for now it’s all they’ve got.

“Dunno, Kare,” Kevin mutters, and Kenny puts his cards facedown on the ground to pat the top of her head instead. She protests with a whine and ducks away, but he still messes up the top layer of her thin hair. When she straightens up, she’s smiling, and Kenny smiles too.

“Love ya, kiddo,” Kenny says, because they don’t say ‘Merry Christmas,’ because it doesn’t really mean anything. They never were taught the story of Santa Claus. There isn’t much merry about their seance for warmth in a cold, dark house.

“Love you too, Kenny,” she replies, her voice small and fragile, and she adds, “love you too, Kevin.” Kevin grunts.

They finish their game and fall back into silence, and Kenny reaches for his phone, practically a burner several years out of circulation. He has a new text message, and he feels a flutter in his chest, because the name of the sender is a short string of emojis and there’s only one person in his contacts without a regular name.

His phone buzzes in his hand as another text comes in, from the same tiny spaceship between two stars.

   You home

   Answer if youre up for a good time :P

Kenny licks his lips, glances up at his siblings while he contemplates the offer. They’re each using one earbud to listen to music. The screen from the old iPod they still use is lighting up their faces, because night is setting in and the last drops of sunlight are fading from their profiles so that they turn to silhouettes. Ordinarily he would say yes, of course, in a heartbeat, because his spaceship crush is a deadly combination of addicting and rare. Tonight he hesitates though, because it is Christmas Eve, and as he realizes this, he thinks to ask him why he’s looking for a quick visit today of all days.

  tf u doin xmas eve that u wanna fuck around instead @_@?

The response is almost immediate. His spaceship is always lightning-fast, the same way it traverses the galaxies like ponds and hops stars like lily pads.

   Nothing important

Before Kenny can reply, he sends another.

  Thats not true. Im doing important stuff. Which is why I need to know if you are part of the important stuff.

Kenny sighs. Though it’s tempting, and he feels like maybe it’s selfish, his family needs him more. Maybe they’re fine, he doesn’t know. It just doesn’t feel right.

   i gotta spedn it w the fam dude. xmas sux but u kno. its family

  *spend

There is a long pause in which Kenny does nothing but stare at his phone. There isn’t much to do on it like the newer models, so it feels like more of a brick than anything else. He switches between watching the clock tick by and watching his brother and sister share music together. It’s approaching eleven, and he isn’t sure his mother will make it home in time after all. The pile of cards they’ve abandoned sits neatly at their feet. The brick vibrates.

   Well. Dont go anywhere.

Kenny’s curiosity is piqued, but he’s not sure if it’s too forward to ask what he’s talking about. His spaceship likes to keep secrets sometimes, within its indestructible metal walls. That’s not quite true, Kenny corrects, because he knows how to destruct it, and it’s one of his favorite things to do. The faint high of excitement and nerves makes his stomach flip, and he tucks his phone away in his pocket, reaching out to hold Kev and Karen’s hands again per tradition.

Karen drops her head on Kenny’s shoulder and starts to doze off then, and he starts blinking away sleepiness himself as the ambient noise of his house lulls him to sleep. He doesn’t want to fall asleep though, so he keeps snapping back up to attention, jolting his head up and blinking his eyes rapidly awake. Kevin seems to be doing the same thing, and eventually, Karen starts gently snoring against him. He adjusts his arm so she can rest her head on his lap and in her sleepy stupor she obeys- something she hasn’t done since she was nine years old. He pets her head with his now free hand and tries not to think about how much she deserves better.

A knock on the front door startles all three of them so that they sit up straight, and Karen gasps as she returns to the waking world. “Mom?” Kevin asks, and Kenny shakes his head.

“Nah, she don’t knock. Lemme check by the window.” Kenny stands, walks across the room carefully to avoid the squeakiest floorboards, and peeks out the window to check out the scene.

He’s met with a view of a mass of dark green.

He is even more confused than before. He looks back at his family and nods his head roughly to the left, silently telling them to hide behind the hallway, and they obey quickly. Kenny takes the metal bat he keeps by the door in his hands, shifting it in his grip carefully and weighing its potential fatality, and in a streamlined motion he’s practiced before, he yanks the door open and pulls his bat up behind his head, ready to swing.

“What the-” a familiar voice rasps, and its owner leans backwards, his eyes wide with surprise. “Kenny what the fuck,” he exclaims, and it takes Kenny a moment to take in what he’s seeing.

Craig, his spaceship between two stars, is standing on his doorstep, and in his arms is a big pine tree as tall as he is. Kenny drops his bat down against the wall, and takes a deep breath in through his nose. “You answer first. What’s goin’ on?”

Craig blinks, then shakes the tree a bit to his right. “I said important stuff.” He shrugs, a motion made awkward by his bulky cargo, and Kenny points at it.

“What is that?” he asks, not wanting to get ahead of himself, but he thinks he knows. He has a pretty good idea that he knows.

“The fuck does it look like?” Craig shivers and Kenny realizes he’s left him standing outside inappropriately, and he jumps to the side so Craig has room to enter his humble abode- emphasis on humble. “I got you a tree,” he says as he lugs it in, and with a small grunt of effort, he leans it against the wall beside the door.

Kenny is silent for a moment. “You sure fuckin’ did,” he replies, weakly, because he’s not really sure what else to say. “Where the fuck d’you find a tree on Christmas Eve?”

“Farms sell them till the last minute. I knew you didn’t have one this year. I got a stand and shit too, because, you know.” It’s unspoken that Craig most likely knows that it isn’t just a this-year thing that they don’t have a Christmas tree.

He can’t really help himself; Kenny wastes no time in planting a sloppy kiss on Craig’s lips, not caring that maybe their relationship status isn’t the most defined or that his sister might see. He doesn’t care at all about anyone except the angel gone rigid in front of him who then wraps his arms around his back like he’s hugging him for dear life, like he always does. He feels tears prick at his eyes and tries to blink them away, but he’s not entirely successful. He wants Craig to know how much he loves this moment so he doesn’t try too hard.

Kenny doesn’t say anything at first because there’s not much that he can say to make it better. The silence between them is their usual comfortable normal, the adoration in Kenny’s heart beating so rapidly he’s sure Craig can feel it against his chest. “Thank you,” he finally decides on, whispering it, and Craig hums, the vibration of his Adam’s apple tickling Kenny’s cheek. “Is this real?” he breathes against his collarbone.

“I think so?” Craig replies, but the way it sounds genuinely like a question makes Kenny laugh.

“Craig, I don’t,” he begins, but he truly doesn’t know what to say, and so he says, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Then don’t say anything,” Craig murmurs, and he kisses the shell of his ear, and suddenly Kenny is floating miles above his own body. His soul dances in his chest like a ballerina, jumping and spinning in joyous circles that make him laugh. He must look crazy, doing that, laughing for no outward reason, but he doesn’t care.

“Kenny..?” a timid voice calls, and he remembers he banished the other two-thirds of his family behind the corner of his house for their protection. He leaves Craig’s arms as he turns around and Karen is peeking around the corner, her tiny hands gripping the wall and hair spilling straight down towards the floor.

“You can come out,” he says softly, his smile warm and glowing, “it’s just Craig.”

He can see the sigh of relief in her shoulders before she hops out from the hallway. She catches sight of the tree and gasps. A big smile is slowly growing on her face until it becomes too strong to hide behind her lips and her teeth poke out with glee. Kevin saunters out behind her, but rests his back against the wall, crossing his arms and keeping watchful distance.

Before she can crash into them, Karen screeches to a halt in front of him and Craig. She looks back and forth between the two of them, her eyes crinkled slightly closed from the pure intensity of the blissful grin on her face. “Um,” she begins, suddenly growing shy and clasping her hands in front of her sheepishly, “is that for us?” She looks over at the tree then back at Craig, waiting patiently.

Kenny looks to Craig too, whose expression is essentially unreadable at first but melts into a gentle smile, the kind that makes Kenny melt too. “I had an extra, so.” Karen giggles and Kenny sees Kevin chuckle a bit too before he kicks away from the wall to join the rest of them. “We gonna put this shit in the window or what?”

The rest of their evening is punctuated by happy chattering and giggling while they put together the small string of lights and miscellaneous baubles that Craig has likely stolen off his own Christmas tree for them, and Kenny wishes he could have recorded it. He wishes he could have committed every single second to memory, to savor the glow and genuine joy that pulsed from each of their chests so that every moment felt sweet, soft, and safe. He can, however, memorize the little flashes of things: the way Craig’s eyes get so dark they look black when the room is lit only by Christmas tree lights. The way Kevin smiles when he’s truly, really, happy, with one side of his mouth higher than the other and his tongue stuck between his canines in a smile. How Karen looks at him when no one else is looking, with so much innocent hope in the rosiness of her cheeks that he’s forgotten his worries entirely.

The way his mother looks shocked, confused, then overjoyed when she walks through the door at twelve fifty-three in the morning, officially Christmas Day.

They hold their breath as she steps quietly across the room and looks up at Craig, who struggles to keep eye contact and has to look away after only a few seconds. “Um,” he starts, but she pulls him down into a tight hug, and she starts to cry.

“Thank you,” she says, “oh, thank you for doin’ this for my babies. Thank you so much, Craig. Yer a good kid, you know. Your momma must be proud.” Craig’s cheeks are flushed with embarrassment after that, and Kenny can’t help but giggle at him, his heart in the clouds. “Well come on in now, kids. It’s Christmas, come on!” she insists quietly, her arms opened wide on either side of her, and Kevin, Karen and Kenny pile into them with Craig squished between them all.

She sighs, but it’s happy, and she holds them for a moment longer than usual. “Look, look,” she murmurs, twisting each of her children around by their shoulders- Craig too. “Look at all them pretty lights. You ever seen somethin’ so beautiful in this room?”

Kenny looks up, studies the way the white lights glow against the window and the wall, and he thinks to himself that he has. He’s seen four things so beautiful in this room in fact, and he sees them all around him, and it’s the most beautiful this room’s ever felt for as long as he can remember. Craig’s shoulder is bony against his own, and, remembering his proximity, he twists his hand around his forearm to search for his fingers. They find his and wrap together, warm and clammy, and Kenny breathes out deeply. For a moment, as his lungs empty, so do his troubles.

“Craig,” Kenny mumbles, his eyes struggling to stay open, the streetlight outside the only thing telling him that Craig’s eyes are open too across from him on his mattress.

“Hmm?” he hums, the way he does where his lips buzz and resonate with the vibrations of his heart. Their hands are clasped between them, meeting in the middle between their pillows and bathing in the white light that paints crescents in Craig’s dramatic knuckles.

“I think I love you,” he whispers, letting the smile in his heart overtake his lips, and Craig’s eyes widen before they return to half-lidded. Kenny watches his lips stretch into the widest closed grin he’s ever seen on Craig’s face. He looks so silly, like a caricature of a smitten cartoon.

“Oh yeah?” he questions, and Kenny laughs a bit.

“Yeah,” he says, “I think so.”

“Well,” Craig murmurs, in the deep, raspy voice that he adores that precedes his sleep and preludes his mornings, “I think I love you too.”

He squeezes his fingers in time with his racing pulse and closes his eyes, resting his forehead against the soft, flat back of Craig’s hand. “Thank you,” he whispers, and Craig hums again, and he falls asleep dreaming of the day he isn’t afraid to leave out ‘I think.’

Not yet, but maybe next year.

#craig tucker #kenny mccormick #karen mccormick #kevin mccormick #carol mccormick #crenny #crenny sp #sp crenny #my fanfiction #my fanfic #south park #south park fanfiction #sp fanfiction #sp fanfic #south park fanfic #christmas eve #fluff #secret santa #secret santa gift #gift fic

[raganandhersurveys]

5/21/21~5000 question survey 201-300 {CXVII}

This has been in the drafts for far too long lol

201. Put these creatures in order from what you would least like to be reincarnated as (1), to what you would most like to be reincarnated as (10) assuming reincarnation ended up existing AND you were given a choice: caterpillar, house dog, wild dog, vulture, male human, female human, oak tree, rock, manta ray, dolphin 

~female human, dolphin, male human, house dog, manta ray, wild dog, caterpillar, oak tree, vulture, rock

 202. What do you feel unworthy of? 

~sometimes i feel like i don’t deserve the love that people give me. but i definitely don’t dwell on that thought 

 203. Would you rather be remembered for having done something for humanity or being a really nice person? 

~doing something for humanity; that effects more people 

 204. Which do you value more: science or intuition? 

~honestly depends on what it is haha. i lead with my heart more than my brain sometimes 

 205. Your best friend and your significant other are in the hospital at the same time with the same ailment. Who do you visit first? 

~...... i hate questions where i have to choose one person over another, i can’t choose 

206. Does the universe revolve around human beings?

~lol nope we exist in it just like everything else. we took it upon ourselves to feel as though we are superior 

207. If you are no longer a virgin, do you wish you still were?

~no, that thought has never even crossed my mind

208. Who is your favorite poet of those who are alive right now?

~i rlly don’t know that many poets 

209. What is your favorite song from the 90's? 

~my heart will go on~ celine dion; stereotypical ik but like i love that song

 210. If you were in alphabet soup what letter would you be? 

~the r ofc:)

 211. Do you believe in fairies, ghosts, aliens, angels, dwarves, elves, etc.?

~i definitely believe in angels. as far as aliens and ghosts are concerned, i for the mots part believe in them but i am a little skeptical and someone can be a dwarfed person so i believe in that too, but the elves and fairies are a no go. 

212. What makes you want to be someone’s friend? 

~if we have similar interests, if they’re funny, kind, if they’re open minded and deep, and like to eat food a lot because i sure do

 213. Do you troll around the Internet harassing people anonymously for fun? 

~bahaha i have a life lol 

 214. Have you ever seen the movie A Man Who Fell to Earth?

~nope

 215. What is your favorite line from a movie? 

~”ughhh! as if”

216. What's your favorite video game? 

~i don’t rlly play video games lol

 217. Have you ever taken something that wasn't yours? 

~yeahhhhhh

 218. What is one phrase people say that irritates you?

~”we love that”

 219. You allow strangers to read your diary, but would you let your parents read it?

~lol never

220. Hot steamy bubble bath or quick in and out shower?

~depends on my mood. if i have something to do i’d obviously choose the shower lol

221. Are you allergic to anything? 

~nope

222. What is your favorite Terminator movie?

~i don’t rlly like any of them

 223. What is your favorite fast food?

~chick-fil-a!!!!

224. What would someone have to do to get you to never speak to him or her again?

~cheat on me or hurt someone i love

225. Would (or have) you ever whip someone or be whipped by someone in bed? 

~i have never and will never whip or be whipped in bed hahaha

 226. Have you ever said 'I hate everyone' and really meant it literally? 

~lol no

 227. Why do some people want to get more money than they could ever spend?

~greedyyyyyyy oooh. money is also an addiction i feel like; for some people they will never have enough 

 228. Have you ever won a carnival fish?

~:((((( no

229. Did it live more than a week? 

~^

 230. What's the best sounding accent a person can have? 

~i love a spanish accent or italian/bostson accents too 

231. What's the most boring thing you've ever read? 

~some book for school probably 

232. Do you prefer buttons or touch screens? 

~ig touch screens

233. Do you think there is a lot of similarity between the Harry Potter books and the Lord of the Rings series? 

~there rlly is but they’re worded differently because they were written in such different times. i enjoyed both but i love lotr. 

234. Would you consider yourself to be naive?

~in some regards, yes 

235. Which of your friends is most likely to go to jail?

~andrew 

236. What is the smallest amount of money that could be in a public toilet that would make you reach in and grab it?

~honestly if it was a $20 dollar bill

 237. Would you ever wear real fur?

~no

238. Arachnophobia or Eight Legged Freaks?

~huh?

239. What are your feelings about police officers? 

~not all of them are bad. Yes there are corrupt ones but can’t any career have corrupt employers? I would feel safer having them than not so I do not support the whole ACAB movement

 240. What is your favorite line from a song? 

~i have no idea lmao like my mind went totally blank

 241. Is fifty dollars a lot of money?

~to me yeah haha

242. Do you like the band Front 242 (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Front_242)? 

~i’ve never heard of them

243. Would you rather have fame, money, or self-satisfaction? 

~self-satisfaction

244. What's your middle name? 

~alexandria

 245. What is the absolute limit, the craziest thing you would do for a million dollars?

~probs pee in a public place 

246. Are you good, evil or neutral?

~i’d say neutral lmao

 247. Should ebonics (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ebonics) be considered a language?~sure lol 

248. What color is your bedroom? 

~sage green

What color would you like it to be? 

~i want my next room to have just white walls 

249. When are you planning to move to a new home? 

~well i move into my college suite in august 

250. If you added up the cost of everything in the room with you, approximately what would it come out to be?

~well i’m not in my room right now so i have no idea

251. Do you blow your nose in public?

~i try to avoid it but you gotta do what you gotta do

252. Do you want to follow in your parent's footsteps?

~in some ways yes, but in other ways absolutely not

 253. What is the coolest web site you know of? 

~any online shopping place haha

254. Which cartoon would you most like to see turned into a movie? 

~most of them have already been turned into movies and they aren’t that great

255. Of the following, which word best describes you: enthusiastic, fair minded, generous, helpful 

~i’d say fair minded overall

256. Can you eat with chopsticks?

~no but i wish i could haha

257. Could you tell real money from counterfeit?

~most likely no

258. What do you think about school uniforms?

~i’m so glad i went to a public school and didn’t have to wear one. i love clothes and creating outfits so i’d hate to have to wear the same thing like every day

 259. What ancient civilization would you most like to visit?

~either egypt or greece

 260. What would make a great new Crayola color?

~do they have a sage green color?

261. If an art project is created with the intent of getting rich and famous, does that cast doubt over its significance as a work of art? 

~not necessarily. I feel like it’s hard to do anything artistic like that without a purpose or meaning

 262. If you became president, whom would you invite to sing at your inauguration? 

~ariana grande or sza 

 263. Who is the greatest philosopher of your country? 

~me lol 

264. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go? 

~i feel like it went to borrowing and to funding the military

265. Is it as easy to make you happy now as it was when you were a child? 

~i feel like as a child it was easier 

 266. Who knows more...you, or your parents?

~depends on the topic tbh 

 267. What instrument would you like to be famous for playing? 

~electric guitar or piano

 268. Children fill its lungs completely with air. Adults breathe in a more shallow way, not filling their lungs completely. Why the change? 

~that is not a question for me lol

 269. Would you have sex with a stranger for one million dollars? 

~mmmmmm yeah tbh LMAO

270. Are you completely in control of your body? 

~i guess lol

 271. Which is more romantic: an expensive, glittering bouquet OR flowers that were hand picked as they grew beside the parkway? 

~i’d love either. sometimes money is the thought for someone but hand picked is so special to 

 272. Do you know yourself well enough to understand why you feel the way you do?

~in some instances, yes. but then sometimes i’ll feel a random emotion at times. there are times where i’ll just feel really sad and I don’t know why lol 

273. Which do you do more often: let movies, songs and books put your feelings into words for you or put your feelings into words by yourself? 

~both but the songs and books do it so beautifully 

274. Do you believe celebrities when they are endorsing a product? 

~usually not lol

 275. What kind of movies do you wish were made more often?

~i’m always down for a good horror movie 

 276. Does fashion matter to you? 

~yesss! that’s the field i want to enter 

277. Should politicians be held to the same legal standards as everyone else? 

~of course, if not more so 

 278. What do you get in trouble for the most? 

~my mom always says i do things last minute 

279. Should parents spank their kids? 

~you do what you wanna do as a parent

 280. What is your worst daily habit? 

~eating unhealthy foods lol

 281. If you had your choice which one TV show would you have canceled?

~pretty little liars because it’s literally knock off gossip girl

282. Do you like the taste of sweet or salt?

~definitely salt 

 283. Are you very precise about what words you use to describe your feelings and thoughts? 

~not always lol 

284. What do you feel the most guilty about? 

~sometimes i feel like i let people down because some of my decisions still depend on other people (ex: if my mom says no to something that someone asked me to do)

 285. Do you meditate?

~no

286. Can dreams be visions, or do you feel they are always random images?

~i think they can be visions but i feel that most of the time they are random images

 287. Do you try to write/say what you are feeling in a true and simple way?

~why are so many of these questions about this lmao um it depends if i have a grasp on my emotions in that moment 

288. The thief _______ that everyone steals. What verb would you fill in the blank with? 

~is jealous?

289. What's the most incredible experience you ever had?

~one night a year or so ago me and some friends just hung out but it felt like a movie. we were jamming to music with the windows down and just going crazy; what a time to be alive 

 290. Are you ever afraid to write/say/think how you feel?

~for sure however i have learned that that is very unhealthy so i usually tend to speak my mind 

 291. Do you write/say/think it anyway or become intimidated and try to avoid it?

~^

292. What is one thing you can't do?

~ride a bike 

293. Do you like movies starring Charleton Heston (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charleton_Heston)? 

~i’ve never seen any of his movies 

 294. Are you gentle? 

~i try to be 

 295. When do you feel the most raw and vulnerable? 

~when i’m alone and not talking to anyone 

296. Are you trying to find yourself?

~aren’t we all?

297. Where are you looking?

~in my passions and just getting to understand myself in general 

298. Are you sometimes afraid of being honest because you are afraid of hurting people's feelings?

~yep

299. What would make you a stronger person? 

~not lettings things that people say get to me and not caring so much of what others think of me 

 300. What book would you like to read sometime soon?

~there isn’t one in particular but i would like to start reading stephen king 

[its-complicated-isnt-it]

*outside of a bar*

Bill: *drunk and giggling* O-okay, I’ll-I’ll-I’ll *wheezing from laughter* I’ll call him.

Bill: *fumbling to dial Stan’s number*

Richie: Okay, when he answers you’ve gotta say something mean Bill.

Mike: This is a terrible idea.

Ben: *laughing and tipsy* shhhhh, Mike! It’s gonna be hilarious

Stan: *groggy and quiet* hello? Bill?

Bill: pfffft, haha.

Stan: Bill, what’s going on? It’s three in the morning?

Bill: I know, I’m supposed to insult you, hahahaha

Richie: Don’t tell him that! Just do it!

Bill: Stan you're gay!

Stan: Bill I came out two months ago.

Ben: *falling over with laughter* Say something else!

Bill: Stan you-your-!

Mike: I’m so sorry Stan

Bill: YOU’RE SEXY

Richie: *facepalming*

Stan:

Mike:

Ben:

Stan: … Bill, um, what?

Bill: I thi-ink of-of you like Rich-Richie thinks of Eddie. Li-like real-really gay.

Mike: Oh dear. Bill give me your phone, you’re cut off.

Bill: Mike-mikey noooo. I’m-I’m te-te-telling Stan tha-that I’m in lo-o-ove with him.

*at Stan’s house*

Stan: *is having a heart attack*

Eddie: *wakes up* Stan what’s going on?

Bev: Bill just got done telling the class that he’s gayly in love with Stan

Stan: *still having a heart attack*

Eddie: cool *goes back to sleep*

*outside of a bar*

Bill: *has been drunkenly lamenting to Mike about how beautiful Stan is and what he’d like to do to him*

Richie: *covering his ears* LALALALALA I CAN’T HEAR YOU

Ben: *peeing on a tree*

Mike: Goddamnit. I’m friends with fucking animals.

#it (2017) #it stephen king #stenbrough #reddie #benverly #mike hanlon deserves more love #richie tozier #eddie kaspbrak #mike hanlon #ben hanscom #beverly marsh #stanley uris #bill denbrough

[got-to-tomago-blog]

MADISON’S QUESTIONAIRE

*PERSONAL DETAILS*

Nicknames? Maddie. Although I guess technically Madison is a 'nickname' ;)

Where do you live? Right next door!

What’s your age? 17, dancing queen

Hair color? Dark brown

Eye color? Darker brown

Height? really short, like 5'2"

Date of Birth? December 29

What’s your star sign? Capricorn!

Element? Earth probably.

How many siblings? one (1)

How many pets? zero but I already have a bunch of cat names planned out for my future two cats

Obsessions?

    I want to wipe out all the sad ideas that come to me when I am holding you    I want to erase every nasty thought that bugs me every day of every week

Bad habits?

     When my fingernails get too long I pick at it, I procrastinate a lot, and I also get random ticks (ie drumming my fingers, clucking my tongue it goes on)

Phobias? I would say death, but honestly, it's probably life

*ABOUT YOU* What makes you happy?

     Being with friends I trust. Watching an entertaining show/movie/gameplay

What really irritates you?

     Apathetic people.

What makes you sad?

    Me. Capitalism. The pressures and expectations that society puts on individuals.

What makes you angry?

    People who don't care about other people's feelings. When someone says that it's required to stand for the Pledge of the Allegiance. The rampant racism and sexism and honestly discrimination in general that we humans seem naturally so inclined to.    

What makes you scared?

    The thought of how our universe and everything in it will disappear and we humans will only be a blip in that timeframe. But perhaps that isn't really scary.

    New answer: Trump. Guns. 

Who is your best friend? 

   I have like three best friends outside of bdrp: Rose, Abigail and Riley.

Ever broken a bone?

    Nah. The closest is when I twisted my ankle.

What was the last CD you bought?

    I myself haven't bought any. But like as a family, pretty sure it was Legally Blonde.

What was the last book you read?

    Throwback to middle school with the Raven Boy series.

Who was the last person you spoke to?

     The bus driver haha.

What was the last thing you ate?

    Cookies (that Riley gave me) and yogurt. 

What was the last thing you drank?

    The answer should be water, but it's juice.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever bought?

     I'm young I don't really pay expensive things. I would have to say that of the things that I know that I bought is the book Battle Royale.

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever bought?

    I bought a lot of food in my life, some pretty crappy.

What’s the best thing you’ve ever been given?

     I love my parents <3. They got me a violin (several but they sold some back), my Bose headphones, and my drawing tablet (that I should use more).

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever been given?

    Idk my parents sort of know what we want and my grandparents can't really give me anything and I don't remember bad gifts from elementary school friends. But our family gifted ourselves a guitar which my mom wanted but promptly said that the strings hurt her fingers so probably that. 

What are your future goals?

    Happiness, success, and love. 

Describe your bedroom?

     It's pretty small and the walls are yellow and pink with a sticker tree with birds it's pretty cool. I have a bed, dresser and a lil vanity table that has a lot of random stuff on it. 

Who do you consider the most beautiful woman in the world?

  Lupita Nyong'o, Song Ji Hyo, Ashley Moore, IU, Emma Watson

Who do you consider the most handsome man in the world?

  Taron Egerton, Avan Jogia, Lee Jong Suk, Song Joong Ki, Dave Franco

Favorite thing to do on a hot summers day? 

  Eat ice cream

Favorite thing to do on a snowy winters day? 

  Eat ice cream (but inside)

If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be?

  To use the popular loophole, wish for more wishes. If that's not the case, my wishes would be: world peace, no need to sleep, and the ability to focus on what I want to without getting distracted.

If you could go back in time to see or change something, when would it be and what would you do?

Well, if it was possible for Riley to get professional help without trying to commit suicide that would be awesome. 

/

Doing the extra credit my freshman year for English so I would get an A instead of a 89. Sitting with someone else in sophomore year math class so it would be entertaining and I could avoid the only B I'm gonna get in math during high school. 

/

Doing something about Ryan my freshman or sophomore year. Doing something about Joey.

/

Regretting less. 

What’s the first thing you think about when you wake up?

  Going back to sleep. 

Do you believe in the after-life?

  Yep.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time?

  I'll be 27, but that also gives me no sense of time. Probably at a nice office job or graduate school.

What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever been told? 

  Nice shoes, wanna fuck? 

or: This fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined

Any hidden talents?

    I once fell asleep while standing. 

Dream job?

  My dream dream job would probably be being a popular actress but also 1) that would never happen and 2) that sounds stressful. So my other dream job is being the position right under the CEO of a very successful company.

Who is your hero?

  you <3

Describe yourself in 3 words: 

  Nice (get it? if not I can explain it to you in discord), smart, passionate

*FAVORITES*

Favorite color? Purple and black

Favorite number? 25

Favorite animal? Pandas and cats.

Favorite sport (to play)? Lol. 

Favorite sport (to watch)? I watch football a lot actually. But have you /seen/ badminton games of professionals it's insane

Favorite Show(s)?

  Too much honestly. KShows: Running Man, the Genius, Problematic Men. Western: Miraculous Ladybug, Misfits, Project Runway and Big Brother as my guilty pleasure

Favorite movies?

  Excluding Disney movies because I love all of them, I highly recommend the Cabin in the Woods, Truman Show, 10 Things I Hate About You, and Old Boy. From there, it's like a tree with tons of movie options.

Favorite band?

  The rubber ones that can change into shapes

jk, the only 'bands' I really like are Kpop, so 2NE1 (rip), BTS, Blackpink and Big Bang.

Favorite song?

  I love Savages by Marina and the Diamonds, Crybaby by Melanie Martinez, and Whistle by Blackpink.

Favorite room in the house?

  My bedroom's pretty cool, I just don't spend a lot of time in there

Favorite food? 

  Chocolate. I also like a large variety of fruit

Favorite drink?

  Apple juice hands down. Besides that, there's this Korean drink called 2% that's really good.

Favorite place?

  Bed? Wizarding World in Orlando Studios, Florida was pretty awesome, and South Korea has some great places. And of course, our expensive home Disney World.

Favorite cartoon character?

  Blossom from Powerpuff girls, Kim Possible from well, ya know, and to continue this trend, Wendy from Gravity Falls.

Favorite day of the week? Saturday.

Favorite day of the year? December 28

Favorite season? Fall

Favorite Holiday? Christmas

Favorite girls name?

  Madison (haha) but I also like the name Victoria. ngl Petrana is a pretty good name too.

Favorite boys name? Ryan

Favorite country? South Korea? Countries are pretty problematic tbh

Favorite smell? Dollar bills ;)

Favorite sound? Fire crackling

Favorite accent? Gonna be stereotypical here and say British.

Favorite Ships (in or our of BDRP)?

  Too much to list in bdrp so I'm just gonna go outside BDRP.  Percy/Annabeth, James/Lily, Spartace (from Running Man), Jungwan/Dukseon (from Reply 1988). I’m not a huge shipper tbh.

Favorite Fandoms? 

  All the fandoms I'm in are basically my favorites (except Gravity Falls to a certain point cuz that fandom has a very big 'weird' side). Disney of course, Harry Potter, PJO/Heroes of Olympus, Miraculous Ladybug (a bit). The Genius, Undertale, Cuphead (to another certain extent I don't play it but man the art is gorgeous), Bright Sessions (!)

*PREFERENCES* Coke or Pepsi? I don't drink either, not a huge fan of fizzy drinks

Pen or Pencil? Pen

Day or Night? Night

Cat or Dog?Cat

Summer or Winter? Winter

T.V. or Radio? Radio (gotta listen to those tunes in the car)

Brains or Beauty? Brains

Cup or Mug? Cup

Tea or Coffee?Tea (i'm not a huge fan of coffee either ngl)

Gold or Silver? Gold

Brush or Comb? Comb

City or Country?City

Early or Late riser? Late late

Blond or Brunette? This is bias against black haired people 😔 so blonde

Scary or Romantic movies? ooOooo idk this one's tough. If it was books it would be romance hands down, but since it's movie I'll say scary

Board or Computer games? Computer games

Half full or Half empty? Half full

  Happy and poor or Sad and rich? man this was tougher than you would think. But since it's based off how I don't think I could actually be 'happy' while poor, I will choose happy and poor. 

Glasses or Contacts? Glasses.

Flowers or Chocolates? Chocolate

Love or Money? Love

Hugs or Kisses? Hugs

~~

And there you have it!

#did i make an aesthetic for and about myself #yes #it's not super well done anyway #like three text boxes in a row would usually never fly with me

[inkyfingerstoo]

aos rewatch

2x07 - Writing on the Wall Thanks for the tag @catchylove​

Summary: This is the ep. where Coulson’s carving has reached its pinnacle and there’s a killer carving the symbols into bodies. Ward goes full suicide bomber, Hunter wears a cowboy hat, Fitz wears an awful cardigan, Jemma is brillaint in general, Mack is dramatic. Bakshi is given to SHIELD as a present, Coulson pops into the memory machine and is a dick all episode; he chases down the crazy carver, some rough housing ensues, eureka! The silly symbols are just a 3D blueprint of a city, Team SHIELD gotta find it before Hydra. Ward shaves. The End.

-”I do some carving every now and then.” ugh -I don’t like it when the show opens with red-shirts -I do like that the opening for AOS is super brief -Mucho father/daughter vibes in this opening Coulson/Daisy scene -(in re. To Trip talking on comms) Do you ever feel like you’d for sure notice someone in public who was talking to themselves and just kind of shuffling back and forth, touching their ear every now and again? -”...Janice Robbins, lives uh, lived in upstate NY.” I’m from upstate NY! Cool! -9 minutes in, still no FitzSimmons -9 minutes 40 seconds Fitz sighting! -9 minutes 50 seconds Jemma’s voice! And guess who turns their head the instant he hears it? -I like that Jemma is a bit snide with Mack, since he was a mega-dick and made judgments without the full context (I really want more Jemma&Mack in S5, biggest big with the smallest smol) -Doctor Doctor Jemma Simmons is so badass when in doctor doctor mode -”Does she have any family?” (Jemma Simmons) I think the thing that bothers me most about some characterization/interviews re. Jemma is both the actors and writers seem to want to paint Jemma as some cold, all business, no emotion, no affection kind of woman. When in fact she’s full of empathy and kindness and consideration. -Omg, the sheer amount of cliche lines in the bus station sequence are PAINFUL. Writers, do better. -Jemma Simmons sciencing and geniusing is my favorite -”It took me and Fitz 6 weeks to figure out how to operate this…” (the memory machine) (Fitz and I - Jemma would never speak with such horrible grammar) And pour one out for a call back to FitzSimmons Fitzsimmonsing even though we never got to see it. -Ps. Fitz in the background of the scene just basically follows Jemma with his eyes as she prepares the machine -Jemma’s uncomfortable expression when Coulson snaps at Daisy is me -”What kind of creature-feature I sign up for?” Mack you’re so damn melodramatic, chill bro. -blah blah blah Coulson storyline blah -Boston, MA That’s where I live! And that is not what a pub in Boston looks like….also there are no palm trees in Boston. -Bakshi!!!! Aww he’s such a twat haha. Evil plotting ensues blah blah. -This is making me uncomfortable, watching Clark Gregg, writhe and sweat like this. -”Lock him and keep him under observation until I get back.” May, you’re awesome -Forever mad we got no reaction from Fitz about Coulson shoving Jemma back so hard she slams into the shelf and appears to lose her breath for a moment. And that Coulson apologizes to Daisy, not Jemma. Coulson sucks this episode. -”The dark side of SHIELD” what? -I like scenes where characters do something totally normal and mundane (aka Mack and Fitz playing video games, drinking beers). “Besides brains never delete files, they just lose connections, but there’s always a back-up, just a matter of digging and finding them.” -Hunter, I love you and miss you. -Phil Coulson, worst agent ever (ok, ok, he’s severely impeded right now with the carvin’ crazies) -Bakshi, all wrapped up for Coulson - more fic fodder -”Pain made me remember.” Interesting quote -blah blah Coulson scenes blah -Getting to the inhuman reveal was torturously long -Fitz, sweetie, that cardigan is just….awful -Good song (Bill Withers “Who is He (And What is He to you)) Bad Ward -”Alright Mr. Bakshi, hope you weren’t into selfies, or this could be embarrassing for both of us.” He’d totally have nudes, the creep. -”Hail Hydra.” - that was hilarious -Ward, you’re a psychotic turd.

FitzSimmons collectively had around 8 minutes on screen. Unacceptable.

Tagging: @lapiccolina​ @agent-85​ @jupiterbysaturn​

#aos rewatch #engineering vs biochem #team biochem #fitzsimmons #jemma simmons #leopold fitz #aos #agents of shield #this was a painful watch just bc of the lack of fitzsimmons #however there was some good fic fodder for that JEmma gets brainwashed fic that I WILL WRITE SOMEDAY SO HELP ME THOR #Anyway this was fun #please tag me in this again fellow team members!