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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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would i be the asshole for contacting my ex to ask them if they could stop talking about me online to a community that knows who i am? (🥐)

tw: kinda emotionally abusive relationship

bg info

me (24f) and my ex (28) were in a three month relationship three years ago following a whole year of friendship. they were my first partner and i came out as a lesbian to everyone during our relationship. when we were together, they were 24 and i was 20. i was very emotionally dependent on them when i was 20 due to mental health issues and so were they which is probably one of the reasons why our relationship was as explosive as it was. i looked up to them, my whole emotional world revolved around them, and our friendship/relationship was the only thing i had in my life at the time. they constantly asked me "hey is it even ethical that im dating you, im 4 years older, you tell me please, oh i feel like such a bad person", yet, they still continued dating me every time they would ask.

our fights were horrible and truly explosive as they broke their stuff in front of me out of anger, threw things at me and insulted me as stupid, amongst many other things. our fights usually ensued because i would ask them for reassurance and they would start panicking and screaming at me to shut up. to be fair, i would cry every time i was asking for reassurance which probably made them feel scared about losing me, so i consider myself 50% at fault for everything that happened in our relationship, i shouldve been able to talk to them in a secure manner that wouldnt trigger their abandonment issues. our fights were quite jarring and made me walk out on them several times out of fear. yet i always came back and apologized and took the whole accountability, even though i dont consider myself the only one at fault. walking out several times during fights was probably one of the worst things i could have done but at the same time i was simply scared. even when i walked out after our last fight, they begged me to come back, which i did, i apologized under tears, and yet, told them that i cant promise them to stay no matter what.. and left.

we met through tumblr and were in a medium distance relationship. after our relationship, i went to a clinic and had to learn a lot about myself, what i experienced and what i want from life. im in a very happy and healthy place now and since the end of 2021 im with my current partner whom i want to be the love of my life and whom ive started to build a life with.

context

i have my ex blocked on all social media because they used to do hour long deep dives into my blog, even as of recently (i have statcounter installed for my safety bc im paranoid about them sending me anonymous asks). at first i also used to visit their blog after our break up but stopped doing so after moving on with my life. one year after breaking up i temporarily unblocked them and explicitly asked them not to look at my social media (or at least to do it in a way in which i dont notice aka asked them not to watch my instagram stories).

while i dont visit their blog/social media because i dont want to know whats going on in their life, tumblr mutuals frequently dm me stuff like "hey i think you should know that your ex posted about you/shit talks about something that you posted". i havent asked my mutuals to tell me whenever this happens but i imagine they do so because within the tumblr space we exist, everyone kind of knows everyone (so my ex doesnt have to mention my name for people to know who theyre talking about). sometimes mutuals send screenshots of the posts so that i dont have to visit my ex's blog. last ive heard my ex joked about throwing jewelry at me and posted extensively about a tattoo that i got. my ex's behavior makes me uncomfortable and feel just as helpless as i did back then.

why i might be the asshole

im scared that they might be venting because i was more at fault in the relationship than them and that i am unconsciously deflecting. however, i talked about every detail of the relationship and this fear extensively with my therapist, friends, and partner who are of the opinion that i was young, scared, and intertwined in a relationship that was incredibly toxic. im still unsure though because my emotions frequently triggered theirs.

why they might be the asshole

i asked them once to stop visiting my social media and i feel like venting about our relationship that broke off 3 years ago to a tumblr community of friends and acquaintances is kind of unfair. however, i might be the asshole and they might just need the space for venting. i could just ignore the vents and let them heal in their own way from what ensued.

WIBTA if i confronted them again and told them that i want them to stop talking about me online? or would i be a party pooper because every person needs a space for venting?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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oklotea · 7 months

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MY FAVORITE TINTIN SIDE CHARACTERS

ARRGRGWHDHEH I'M VERY VERY PROUD OF THIS I'M NGL!!!!!!! I LOVE THE WAY I COLORED THE CHARACTERS, I LOVE THE POSES I DREW THEM IN, I MADE SOME DECENT COMPOSITION IN THIS ONE!!!! HATE THE EDITING I DID I FUCKING SUCK AT EDITING

Anyway, I'm going to ramble about these guys and you can't leave until I'm done ok? Ok.

First of all, MY BOY MY SON MY PERSONAL LITTLE DEMON, ABDULLAH!!!!!!! he is very endearing to me!!! But I really do wish we could've seen more of him!!!! He looks mischievous enough to sneak on adventures along with the marlinspike crew himself for shits and giggles!!!!! HIM AND HIS DAD'S DYNAMIC IN LAND OF BLACK GOLD IS MY FAVORITE IT MAKES ME SO GIDDY AND HAPPY. like no matter how obnoxious and annoying Abdullah's pranks can become, his dad will forever love him unconditionally. MY FAVORITE DYNAMIC. I MISS THEM SO MUCH.

A little note, even though a lot of poc representation in tintin is pretty influenced by the stereotypes of the time, and a bit of orientalism, tintin and the land of black gold is also the first time in my childhood where the words "assalamualaikum" Was muttered in any piece of animated media. It definitely wasn't perfect, but that was important to me as a Muslim child. Maybe that's why Abdullah and his dad hold a special place in my heart!

Next up we've got ARREGEHFHFHHGHJ!!!!!!! CHANG!!!!!!! MY FRIEND FROM SCHOOL WHO HELPED END A CRIME RING IN SHANGHAI!!!!!!! I adore him and his personality so much!!!! HE WAS ONE OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS AS A KID AND HE STILL IS TODAY WHEN I REWATCH BLUE LOTUS!!!!!!!! The way that the moment he was saved by Tintin in that flood he pledged his undying loyalty to Tintin will never not be sweet to me. HE IS SO TALENTED AND CUNNING, HE SAVED TINTIN FROM CERTAIN DOOM MULTIPLE TIMES IN THE LITTLE TIME THEY'VE SPENT TOGETHER, AND IN TINTIN IN TIBET, TINTIN SAVES HIM ONCE AGAIN (Tintin in tibet is also a very memorable and special episode for me) AND JUST-- ARGEHDBEHF I CAN CONTINUE ON AND ON ABOUT HOW CHANG SHOULDVE BEEN INCLUDED IN MORE ADVENTURES!!!!! actually Tintin has TONS OF CHARACTERS who should have been given more important roles in a lot of different stories!!!! Idk maybe that's just a wish that will never be fulfilled.... Still I can dream!

And last but DEFINITELY not least... THE MILANESE NIGHTINGALE HERSELF, BIANCA CASTAFIORE!!!!!!!!!!!! AGHHDHEHFHJDHV MY GORGEOUS MY BEAUTIFUL MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING I MISS HER SO MUCH

SHE WAS A HIGHLIGHT FOR ME!!!!!! AND SHE IS VERY UNDERRATED!!!! I love seeing how much she treasures her friends, how she's so dramatic about everything, how she has such an unapologetically loud and large presence and personality everywhere she goes, how she is genuinely passionate about her singing and her art, how she clearly knows her worth and won't settle for less from anyone.

Every time she was on screen she always made me feel very happy and warm inside, also I really like her voice!!!!!

AND HER DESIGN!!!!! ARRRGHWHFHH HER DESIGN!!!

I'm ngl, she was the hardest for me to draw. But at the end I'm quite satisfied with the results!!!!

She would be such an amazing friend. SHE'S ALWAYS BRINGING GIFTS AND BEING CONSIDERATE WITH HER FRIENDS, AND SHE WOULD NEVER HIDE JUST HOW MUCH PEOPLE MEAN TO HER

PLEEEEASEEEE CASTAFIORE I MISS YOU SO MUCH GIRLFRIEND COME BACK TO ME-

Anyway, the last picture is how I'd imagine Chang and Castafiore's first meeting would go. She as always, acts as sweet and polite and extra af as she always does, let's Chang know that Tintin's talked a lot about him! And then she would bring out some biscuits and pastries she bought as a gift for everyone, and then she and Chang would sit together while eating, and they get along really well, CHANG HAS A WICKED SENSE OF HUMOR THAT CASTAFIORE CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF, (haddock would be completely dumbfounded with how good at talking to Castafiore Chang is, and how anyone could talk to her for so long) but little did haddock know, in their conversations, Castafiore does a whole lot more listening than speaking, especially when Chang starts to tell his back story, and all the things that have happened to him and Tintin. After Chang ends his story, he looks up at her after a while of being lost in his story, and mascara is dripping down her face silently, her mouth is agape, and for a few moments couldn't say anything.

Suddenly she burst out loud, pulled Chang into a hug, and sobs after listening to the horrors this sweet kid has gone through.

In over a few hours she seems to have grown a strong attachment to this kid, she'll probably send a package filled with gifts a few months later, along with a long letter talking about what she's been up to and her wishes that Chang will succeed with anything he's currently busy with, and that he shall take care of himself well.

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the small character appreciation I was able to share for some obscure/underrated characters! And that they will occupy your mind just for a little while. I love these three so much, tintin shaped me as a person, tintin made my childhood, I hope you have a great day.

Click for better quality!!!!!!

#bianca castafiore #chang chong chen #tchang tchong tchen #chang #abdullah #prince abdullah #the adventures of tintin #adventures of tintin #tea art 🎨#oklo makes a post

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muzanswaifu · 6 months

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Ive seen a lot of people confuse me leaving for “people being mean to writers” or getting hate for the things i write of how i write them but its not

But Im not leaving just bc of the audience, i can handle some hate and honestly it was kinda fun from them bc ik that hate comes from jealousy and trolling

Im leaving because of other writers and my “friends”

Ik i said i would get into it and i really dont want to all that much bcuz im tired and just wanna be done with this but it feels wrong to leave under a false assumption and let people think their actions dont have consequences

Ive dealt with a lot from my peers on here, back talking, hating, straight up bullying, and i just cant anymore

I cant deal with drama irl AND on the internet, bcuz at the end of the day i can just delete everything on here and be done with it all so thats wat im gonna do

Tbh this has been building up for a while, i can only handle so much from “friends” and irl i cut people off pretty quick and on here should be no exception but ive fucked up and let people do watever too long and its bitten me in the ass

Yes ik im dramatic lol, ive gotten that a lot and a lot of people hate me for, a lot of people love me for it, its how i am and it keeps things interesting. I get it, i like to make a lot of call out posts. Y? Bc people deserve to be called out and idgaf ab appearances on here. If someone did something bad, im gonna call them out bc last i checked its my blog and i can do wat i want. If u wouldnt do it, thats fine, its ur decision, and this is mine

Yes, i dont post a lot, I. Am. Busy. I have work. I have school. I have a social life. I cant write smut all the time even tho i want to, and at the end of the day, its not my job to write smut all day so people can read it and move on. I like to interact with yall, its fun, i like to talk to a lot of different people on her since my irl friends arent really into anime. Apparently people think im a loser for that? Ok? Sorry i like to talk to people on the internet when im bored instead of producing smut all day for people to read, ig i shouldve remembered im only on here to provide content since i dont deserve to have some fun, my mistake

Requests? Requests r a generosity. So many of my requesters have been absolute angels with being patient in receiving their requests, happy to just see me writing or interacting at all. Others have hounded me regularly telling me im lazy and selfish for not completing my requests, saying im an asshole for not completing them over my own projects bc “they asked first”. LMAO, U WRITE IT THEN???? i dont owe anything to anyone, certainly not someone who comes here solely to read my fics, not even leaving any interaction or encouragement whatsoever, then leave.

The icing on the cake? The tip of the iceburg? Discord of all places. Im sorry some of u didnt enjoy my server, i really am. Ive never used discord before and me and the mods did the best we could and im sorry i couldnt be as attentive to it due to my busy schedule

Im sorry i couldnt get there in time to stop conflicts or just straight up call people out, and im sorry someone had to make another server since they didnt like how i was handling mine bc i didnt take their side in a fight that THEY WERE WRONG IN? But i tried to be nice, tried to defend her and nicely explain y she was she cant say anything they want in any situation bc people get hurt. but it didnt matter. Y? Bc apparently i cant tell people what they can and cant say…

And that made me realize something! Theyre right! Theyre absolutely right and im so stupid for not seeing it until now! I cant stop people from saying things to me. I cant stop people from talking shit ab me. I cant stop people from even saying things on my own blog and server! I just cant. Bcuz in the end, people r gonna say what they want and do what they want bc people dont wanna learn. They dont wanna talk. They dont wanna hear ab how what they do or say affects others. They just wanna do what the want when the want, and they wanna be allowed to, bc fuck everybody else. Everybody is the victim in their own story, and i deserve to be the victim in mine.

And what would a victim do in this situation?

Leave.

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lover-of-mine · 20 days

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no but what the fuck i said it back in January when Jack dislocated his shoulder again that he shouldn't have come back, that that boy wasn't fully healed and came back because people kept pressuring him considering the way the media was talking about how his injury was the devils downfall and i don't doubt someone on the team was like you can play through this right, and he's an athlete, athletes are conditioned to play through pain, and hockey is so much worse on that point, and you look at him and you know all he knows is hockey, but he's also a 22 yo who people keep expecting to be this saving grace when he's human and injured but of course he's gonna say, hell yeah i can play and keep his scoring average high and do everything he can for the devils, he's been moving less smootly for weeks, he wasn't shooting as much as he would before, he was playing like someone whos scared to be injured and i was saying his shoulder didn't heal fully thats why Lazar went for the fight after a completely legal hit that threw him on the floor but made him land on his shoulder now he has a ligament tear on the thing that fucking holds his shoulder in place when you could've just let that boy heal when he got boarded the first time in November, but noooo we need Jack, put him in, now were not making playoffs anyway and the boy is looking AT SIX MONTHS OF REHAB FOR A SURGERY HE SHOULDVE GOTTEN DONE IN JANUARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FOR FUCKS SAKE I HATE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

#sorry #ive been saying this all season #since the first hit #god i hate to even think about it that was legit terrifying #but when he tripped on nothing and instantly was out #i was like hes shoulder is not healed #hes shouldn't be back #and now out of nowhere he missed a game after playing the whole thing against the preds #and now oh has a tear on his labrum on his shoulder and is getting surgery #that didnt fucking happen yesterday #and he is smaller than the average and he is targeted because he's jack hughes #but they just let him play #and now here we are #no playoff and him out for six months #well done #well fucking done #aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #anna talks devils

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aita-blorbos · 10 months

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AITA for almost making someone die?

ok ik thats a lot, so ill try to start at the beginning. i (17nb) have been working with this one environmental organization since it was started when i was 12. ive devoted a lot of time to it n to seeing it grow, n when the group got big enough that we could rly expand to more places than just my country i was actually assigned to be in charge of running things here. i dont do it alone or anything bc i do have help from our real leader (40s m) n the people who run the branches in the 2 other countries we operate in, especially the one whos also been here since the beginning (30s nb), but its still a rly big responsibility n its important for me to b able to focus n not let other things distract me from my job.

a few months back, i thought it mite b nice to make my own account on the social media site where our group has the most presence so i could post abt personal things. i didnt mention my connections though (the stuff we do is kinda a bit illegal). it went rly well, n i ended up talking to this one person (20s f) who was rly nice, n we became friends p quick. the big problem was that she didnt like my group at all bc she was rly mad abt some of the stuff we'd done in her country, so there was kinda a conflict there. but some stuff happened, she ended up finding out who i rly was, n surprisingly she wasnt rly that mad at me? n she promised to keep it a secret, n it kinda went well from there other than it being kinda uncomfortable that she liked me n not what i do.

i mean, it did for a while. eventually though it became rly clear that talking to her was distracting me from my work, so my boss n coworker asked me to cut her off. n it hurt kinda a lot, but i did it. n thats where the story shouldve ended.

then i kinda fucked up. i was feeling rly weird bc of of smth that had just happened, n my boss n coworker weren't able 2 pick up the phone. my other coworker (??? i dont even kno this persons pronouns) isnt rly good w emotional stuff, but that was the last person i had to contact for support. n that person wasnt there either.

n i kno it was a mistake. i kno i shouldnt have done it. but i was kinda desperate for someone to talk to, n i ended up calling the friend id cut off even though i knew i wasnt supposed to. n she answered, n we talked. n i tried to go back to normal after that, but she started texting me again, n eventually i broke n answered her.

fast forward to today, n i just found out that my coworker had to try to kill my friend bc i couldnt control myself w her. the person who told me says it wasnt my fault, but if id just been able to resist the temptation to contact her again there wouldnt have been any messages for them to see in the first place. n on top of that, i kno that caring abt ppl too much makes them die, n i still let myself make that connection w her in the first place.

i mean, i think its p clear im the asshole here. basically the whole posts just been stuff i did wrong. but i kinda want to get confirmation, just so i dont have to keep thinking abt the thing the person who gave me the news said.

#aita #am i the asshole

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miaushii · 6 months

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Love your art

Im new here, do you have any posts talking about those ocs you posted? Would love to hear about them

oh my god now that someone asked there isn’t a single person on this planet that’s gonna be able to make me shut up about my imaginary lesbians,,,

first off, introducing them!!! (also thank you sm<3)

(disclaimer, their lore is pretty fluid based on my mood or if i have a certain idea for a drawing for them)

Their names are Esther and Aisha!! They grew up together in a small town probably somewhere around Washington! Think gravity falls, very foresty and nature-y, but still a cozy small town where everyone knows everyone. Said town may or may not have suspicious cult activity. They met each other in like kindergarten and have been bffs since!! They’re both typically 16 in most of my drawings, but sometimes I draw them in their early 20’s. If it’s important to the context of a drawing i’ll put their ages in the tags!! They spend all their free time together and are superrrr inseparable :3

Before I get to the actual plot of their story i’ll introduce them individually ^_^

This is Esther!!

(i shouldve chosen a different facial expression for her introduction bc it doesn’t really represent her personality but i liked this drawing)

She’s somewhat popular, came from a family with some generational wealth (they aren’t rich rich but theyre still rich for their town) and her family is kindaaa involved in the weird cult but she doesn’t really know. She lives with her parents and older sister!! Her favorite class is math and english, but she hates history. She’s well liked by her peers and the others in the town because she’s nice and very pretty! They do think she’s a little off-putting though. She’s good at drawing, she loves doing landscapes!! She loves girly things and will give anyone a makeover any chance she gets. I’ll explain the rest once i get to explaining the real plot ^_^

This is Aisha!!

She’s honestly my favorite between the two I love her so much… She’s mixed south asian and white, her mom being Indian and her dad white. People see her as a pretty cool and aloof person, which is pretty accurate!! She loves music and her favorite bands are bôa, the cranberries, and the sundays!! possibly me projecting She plays the guitar!! Poorly, but still!!! She does well in science and not so much in math, but that’s okay though cause Esther always helps her. Aisha’s mother died in mysterious circumstances when she was young, a little bit before she met Esther, so she just lives with her dad and two little sisters.

Finally, the actual plot!!

here’s how it goes down:

One day when hanging out, Aisha tells Esther more about her mother’s death (something Aisha rarely talked about) and Esther recognizes some things relating to her family. She doesn’t tell Aisha this, though, and decides to start investigating it herself. She finds more about her parent’s cult activities, and once they know she knows, the cult invites her to join. She declines and, knowing the horrible things they’ve done, tries to run to Aisha’s house. she’s running through the forest to Aisha’s house when they catch her. Her own mother is the one to catch her, and with her father’s convincing, her mom kills her.

They buried her, and buried the carcass of a white doe on top to mislead anyone who dug it up.

The day after, a white doe rose from the dirt, healed wounds in the same places that took out Esther. Over the next month, the deer would hang out around Aisha’s house. Aisha had been super worried because Esther had gone missing and they were best friends. She was in her back yard when an injured white doe came up to her, and it was weirdly familiar??? she went to pet it and it turned into her bff Esther (woah) Esther’s memories are super foggy but she tells Bea what she remembers (she doesn’t really remember that her own parents were in the cult) and she can also morph from a deer to a human and back.

Aisha has to keep Esther hidden from the town because of the cult and that Esther was literally killed, and together they figure out the cult stuff while trying not to be killed!! And while this is going on, they figure out their feelings for each other!! (theyve been in love for years and never realized it)

I do eventually want to write a comic with these characters but i’m awful at writing, and that’s a biiiiig commitment im not sure im ready for!!

as an treat here are their original designs from before they were recurring characters in my art :3

#i also have a spider-man AU for them in my head that i haven’t drawn yet #art #drawing #ocs #original character art #original character #original story #oc art #oc lore #original character lore #lore dump #info dump #i love lesbians #lesbian oc #story writing #writing #star lake

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heat--end · 4 months

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beat the scarlet/violet DLC! i havent done some of the bigger postgame stuff yet, but ive beaten the main story, which is really the important part

ill leave my longer thoughts under the read more to avoid spoilers

honestly, i really like how they handled this DLC. i think part of me likes kitakami as a place more, but this is also a really nice little spot. the terarium is a cool place, the pokemon in it are cool, etc.

what i REALLY liked was the story, as well. ive talked about this with a lot of other people, but SV's main theme seems to be getting yourself too lost in your own desires, so much so that you don't realize what happens, and this continues that. ambition is a great thing, but pushed too far, it can put others at risk. i think kieran's character is fantastic in this regard. it genuinely makes sense, and it's no surprise he ends up the way he does, and his desire to look up to the player becomes warped and corrupted because he wants to be better, he wants to achieve the dreams he's seeing the player reach, etc.

it's really interesting stuff. i really, REALLY like it, honestly, and i love how they handled briar in the way, too. briar literally gets so invested and excited about terastialization research that she's putting *three children* at risk. she actively realizes this and apologizes, and i like that they highlighted this. it's a neat theme, and i think the DLC tackles it really well

like the lore and extra stuff introduced is cool, but i feel like always, the character writing shines really well here. it's nice to see a bit of old kieran peek back out, him falling into old habits, but then we see him lose himself again as SOON as a sliver of a chance for him to be better than the MC arrives. for that, i'm a huge fan, i think they did a really good job there

also, big fan of BBQs. scratches that "i want to do PLA tasks forever" itch just enough to be satisfying

the one thing i wasn't a fan of was the battle difficulty, however. now, keep in mind, after asking my friends for some help i WAS able to adjust my team and have strategies to beat them and all that, but MAN, this is WAY too drastic of a leap in difficulty compared to base game, IMO. it'd be one thing if this was optional, but this is the main story.

now, keep in mind, i don't mind if they want to make pokemon games harder. i think it's a good thing. challenge and all that. but when base SV wasnt... ANYTHING like this, it is VERY jarring for them to like, legitimately start using competitive movesets and strategies and all that, without so much as a means to prepare you for it. i feel like there's gonna be a lot of people who just get hard walled by some of the battles, and idk how i really feel about it.

i AM glad this is here, but, i don't think it shouldve been the DEFAULT. some kind of toggle or even having these be post-game battles wouldve been great. but having it be the main difficulty scaling feels really bizarre in comparison to SV's base difficulty. hell, kitakami wasn't nearly as bad as this. it's a leap that is very, VERY drastic.

(and yeah, i did get fucked up bad early on, but keep in mind this is coming from someone who first tried kieran, who is the hardest battle in the DLC. so it's not like i was just playing poorly all the time)

also stellar as a tera type is kinda just whatever i feel. idk not really as interesting as it seemed to be. it's cool lore wise, but even then it's just like... eh, neat, i guess LOL

all in all, i really liked indigo disk. it wasn't the most mindblowing thing ever, and i feel like i MAYBE liked teal mask more, but honestly, it's not by a huge margin. it was pretty good, i had a good time. i'd say it won't win over anybody who already didnt like base SV, but it's worth if you like the base game because it improves on a lot. honestly, i think i like the DLC more than i do the base game, and i already liked SV, lmao

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empyreasheart · 5 months

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I RETURN WITH MORE QUESTIONS. and one topic on my mind. xion xion xion xion xion xion XION shes so interesting and your hcs are always so good do you have any about her or the sea salt trio in general. i miss them so much (also i know you have work to do sorry if this is a distraction from it!! feel free to leave this ask for later)

IM FREEE WHICH MEANSSS I CAN TALK ABOUT MY DEAR DEAR XION!!!! no joke i have been thinking about her all day.

first off i LOVEEE xion so much. whenever i see her get attention and love im so happy. when i see her i have a habit of going "XIONNNN" super loudly.

im putting this under a read more cuz its gotten super long oops

my xion headcanons... well first of all i love every reading of her character as a trans allegory & how people intepret her as either trans or nonbinary! i dont think it was done on purpose but shes been claimed by the commjnity and im so happy about it. transfem xion my beloved. second of all shes autistic TO ME but honestly everyone in soras heart hotel is so thats a given. third of all give me xion with big dark brown eyes or give me death!

what id like to see explored in future games / i fanwork: her identity! we see roxas's frustration and anger about being his own person plenty but we hardly see xion upset at her predicament. i think this is because she wants to do the right thing, not because shes okay with the situation. i really want to see xion's feelings about not having her own identity explored, given that everything about her is based on either sora or his memories of kairi and she was basically created in a lab as a tool for organization 13. she should feel weird about existing in the first place, especially next to roxas and naminé, who dont have the same history behind their creation

in addendum to that, i want to see xions character design change to something more unique. she already has a new outfit, but id love to see her have a new hairstyle (whether she grows it out or just puts it up) so she has something different than a mirror of kh1 kairi's hair. i think ive also mentioned that i think itd be interesting if xion had her own eye color after kh3 (side note its bullshit we never got to see her norted eyes in kh3. she shouldve played a bigger role in the story too but thats another rant) to symbolize that shes her own person now, not a puppet meant to copy sora. lastly she !!! deserves !!! her own keyblade!!! there's so many cool keyblades from days to choose from & theres the weapons from her boss fight - theres no reason for her to still be using the kingdom key and i really hope she gets her own soon.

i keep thinking about what you said about xion not being another "nice" girl character and im like... so true. i dont think xion would be mean i want to go about it in a way that doesnt completely rewrite her character but i think exploring how she copes with her past w/ both organizations & her identity & trauma would be interesting, especially with how it parallels to naminé's own way of coping and dealing with her own trauma. theyre like Shy vs introverted to me lmfao i think xion tries to be friendly but overall she prefers to stay close to the people she feels safe around. i want to see xion be rude but in the autism way where she doesnt mean it shes just not aware. and stuff like that i guess. this paragraph was just word vomit my bad

THE SEA SALT TRIO... theyre seriously the family of all time i love them so much. ill just focus on xion here because this is already super long. BUT AXEL LOVES XION SO MUCH IT MAKES ME SICK THEYRE NOT TALKED ABOUT ENOUGH.. the implication that lea subconsciously keeps his coat on in kh3 so xion (and roxas) can recognize him makes me so emotional. also the fact that lea just clicks with kairi because she also holds a part of xion inside her... AND WHEN HE BUYS HER AN ICE CREAM AND HE DOESNT EVEN REMEMBER WHY HES BUYING THREE. UGH. i love them so much. theyre definitely one of those duos found in the trios that dont get much attention which just draws me towards them more (like riku and kairi). i think lea is absolutely riddled with guilt about the events of days so he never lets xion forget that shes loved. i think xion is touch-averse *except* when it comes to roxas and lea because she feels safest around them.❤️

to end i will discuss roxas and xion . they are like a little orange cat and a little black cat to me. halloween colored. theyre so small i love them so much. i imagine when xion first meets the twilight town gang shes jealous bc roxas has other friends :( but roxas assures her shes super duper special to him and no one else can take her place in his life. they have such a unique bond that i dont know if any of the other characters have with each other. just something so special about those two. when it feels like no one else understands they have each other... and i think that makes for some angst when xion struggles with her own issues that even roxas cant relate to

#ask #THANK U FOR THIS IM SO GLAD TO INFODUMP . I TYPED SO MUCH IM SORRU I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS

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lostandfem · 1 year

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im a desister who was in the trans community for 11 years, starting so young i wasnt double digits in age yet. i feel like i missed out on all the experiences i shouldve has as a girl growing up. i feel so jealous of girls who got to learn how to be a girl. my boyfriend says i walk and talk like a boy a lot and i hate it. i wish i could move and talk with the grace that other girls learned growing up. when i first started desisting i didnt even know how to put on a bra. im growing my hair out and i have no idea how to take care of it. im so ashamed and angry about all the things i was supposed to learn/do as a teenage girl. i feel so bitter knowing ill never get to experience my teen years as a normal girl. its not like i got to experience them as a boy either. i lost all my teen years to this transgender bullshit. i feel like i have no identity anymore. i dont know if i actually want to be feminine or if i just want to finally fit in as a girl. i dont want to be masculine anymore because my boyfriend finds it unattractive. i dont even know how much of my feminity or masculinity is genuine.

this breaks my heart anon. i first want to say that you dont have to do any of those things to be a woman. you dont have to grow your hair out, you dont have to wear bras if you dont need them, you dont need to be feminine at all. but i know how hard it must be to be constantly alienated like that. there isnt some better life on the other side of learning to be feminine, just like theres no promise of happiness on the other side of transition.

start off small. dont try to commit to being either all masculine or all feminine. start off with something with you hair. are you doing that just becuase its labeled feminine? try your best to ignore the label, it doesnt matter if its masc or fem. just try to think of what you would like regardless of how its gendered by everyone else. easier said than done, i know, but take it small and slow. you still have a long life ahead of you. youre not discovering yourself at the usual time of life people do, but thats okay. that wasnt your fault. you have all the time in the world to do it now, and its something to look forward to! its a confusing journey, but its a lovely one.

also please please dont model your entire self around what your bf finds attractive. he should find you attractive in your truest state. if he doesnt like what you find then thats not the one for you.

you are a woman even if youre lost right now. youre a woman even if you dont know all the usual things girls grow up learning. your experience is different, but you still always have a place with us. theres gnc women that might share a lot of your experiences, too. if you need to talk, im open to it.

wishing you all the best anon 💜

#asks #detrans #detrans experience

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everythingsinred · 2 years

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Character Opinion Bingo - GA characters:

Ruka

Hotaru

Narumi

(Idk if I can request multiple characters but hfnkks here they are 😬)

Ruka:

he quite obviously, especially at the beginning (of his story), has issues communicating with and talking with people, finding more comfort and familiarity with animals until he meets natsume, who is basically a human cat and his first friend. i almost highlighted “works best as part of a dynamic” bc of this but hes a compelling character on his own so i decided against it. his social anxiety (yes) is easy to project onto but he was done dirty in the manga itself bc his storyline of feeling useless and helpless was entirely unfulfilled. he deserved to rly feel like he was capable of making a difference instead of just filling a head count for the main four. natsume rly tried to make him feel useful but ruka shouldve played a larger role in the end to cement how important he is

Hotaru:

i have complicated feelings abt this girl. i love her potential but the characterization that zoe and i talk abt all the time between ourselves is rly only half canon. i kinda resent her sacrifice and role at the end of the story bc it was all done at the expense of mikans own character development and im ngl i hate that. this might be controversial of me to say but hotaru for most of the story feels more like a catalyst than an actual character. she has pretty static character development and mostly just keeps the story moving (reason mikan goes to alice in the first place, reason mikan goes after z, reason for mikan to return to alice) instead of being more active in the plot. nothing wrong w that kind of character but it just leads to me not being as invested. my fav of her relationships is actually w her brother bc the most growth and change and activeness is visible when she interacts w him, so i think more couldve been done w that maybe 👀 i understand that my feelings abt hotaru are maybe underwhelming but alas. i rly dont dislike her its just that what i love most abt her is half speculation on me and zoes part rather than actual content from the manga lol

Narumi:

ive said a billion times already that narumi is an enigma to me. on the surface he seems campy and silly and friendly and thats usually what fanfics run with (my own fics are no exception) bc hes great for humor and adds an air of ridiculousness. but the truth is he is DARK! i dont know how i feel abt him half the time bc i dont even get him! hes deceptive and manipulative and even laughs at the abuse happening at the school, esp at the beginning. his relationship w mikan and yuka do humanize him but initially he uses mikan as a device to get to yuka almost like the esp does and he does force himself on yuka at some point. yes he grows to care abt mikan more but the darkness in his character is kinda understated. i think were underselling how fucked up he can be. which doesnt make him a bad character, just a frequently misunderstood one.

and send as many of these as u want! theyre a blast to do!!

#ga #gakuen alice #nogi ruka #imai hotaru #narumi anju #ask games #answered #tardytotheparty #send me morrrreee lol #am i controversial? idk #if u hate my takes im sorry but im also not sorry #id probably have vastly diff answers if u asked me when i was 14 and early in my obsession #but after thinking abt these characters rly hard ive come to some controversial conclusions maybe #anyway thank u for sending me this!! ily

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the-blaze-empress · 7 months

Note

Gona put a Spoiler alert on this one for “Take My Arms That I Might Reach You”.

Hey so I’m back (the person who asked about the time measurement in “Take My Arms”) to say I absolutely loved the rest of the fic. I really enjoyed the character development both Techno and Phil went through throughout the fic and getting to see the way they both end up together terrorizing the bigots of the desert was wonderful. Was sobbing at the part where Phil died had me fighting back tears cause I was absolutely reading this at work. Just the visual you painted in my head of Techno putting Phil’s body in the bedroll was the breaking point. I was like 90% Phil was gona come back, but still it got to me. The world building you did in the Ebony plane was incredible! I love a good info dump and Kristin’s explanation of the magic and spirits tied everything together so well. And oooooo the Quackity/Techno flashbacks. Man Techno really did a number on him! But I like that they still became tentative friends after all was said and done. You asked what my thoughts were on Chapter 18 and I’ll be honest, I’m a bit confused on that but cause there’s a chapter 18 and then one labeled eighteenth, so I’m gona roll em together. I pretty much knew early on in the fic that Techno was also had wings. It was pretty obvious (at least to me) with the fact that he had a voice talking to him since Phil had the same thing, even if he ignores it. Still, the reveal was fantastic! And the way Techno used his own curse to get on Phil’s level and try to calm him down and let him know he was okay, he wasn’t going to hate him was so sweet. Ah! I could go on and on about all the little details I loved about the fic, but those are the major things I loved about it. Sorry it took so long to get back to this, life went and lived and my brain has been a bit fried lately so it been hard to put thoughts into words. But you’re a wonderful writer and I will definitely be coming back to reread this fic again in the future, as well as keeping an eye on your other fics (see you have a new one out, haven’t gotten to it yet again because life). Thank you so much for sharing your work!

AAAA THANK YOU!!

im soooo glad u loved the fic!! character development my beloved, that was one of my big things i wanted to achieve with this fic, having a distinct but still believable development of the characters, and to show how that development happened even when it wasnt going quite so great. patpat i am hugging u but also hell yeah i rlly wanted that moment to have a big emotional impact esp since it was planned from like. the very start lol.

im glad u didnt think my infodumping was too out of place! truth be told the worldbuilding developed a LOT as i was writing the fic, and some things never got the chance to get properly established rip.

backstory hell yeah! i wanted to show what techno was like when he was young and more in phils shoes and i also wanted to elaborate on quackitys cardistry, AND i wanted to show that the superstitions around the carrion cursed arent entirely unfounded. managed to roll that all into one chapter lolll.

oof yeah prolly shouldve clarified. by chapter 18 i mean the chapter titled eighteenth, the ao3 automatic chapter numbers are wrong bc the first 'chapter' is a prologue lol. and niceee ur one of few who actually made that connection, youd be surprised at how many people genuinely failed to see that chat was no different to kristin it was so funny.

PLEASE DO GO ON ABOUT THE LITTLE DETAILS!!! OH I WOULD LOVE YOU SO MUCH IF YOU DID!! (not to say i dont love u anyways that is) little details are my favourite things literally ever i know i wrote the fic but pleasee go on about the little things you noticed!!

thank you soso much for this, genuinely <333 you dont need to apologise for taking ages to read shit, god knows life can Be Like That. cant wait to hear what u think of my future and maybe even past stuff!!

#wisdom be uponeth ye #Anonymous #tmatimry #gremlin hoard <3

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just-some-random-blogger · 1 year

Note

Hello, love! long time no messages here, it's so unfamiliar now. but i thought maybe smn wants to read about wfal, basically my advertisment, yes girlies GO READ WAITING FOR A LIFETIME!

first of all, THE DESPERATION OF THE BOBBY. i feel it SO hard. the way he really pleads and is ready to offer anything, i dont dout hed offer his own life for reader to stay. and its so logically that desperate and lost boy starts this desperate and soft part.

TAKE BACK YOUR WORDS HANNAH bc this part may be my most favourite after (or even not) second. it's SO intense and rich in emotions and plot-moving actions!

back to the bobby bc i said so. the only excess detail for me was reader crying. bc it really felt like she's a mature lady who's seen the life and is too tired to have spare emotions for some little boys while bobby is desperate to draw her attention and her any littlest sympathy. “I don’t want someone to love me back! I just want you.” hit hard.

i love how visy and reader are so friendly and respectful with each other TT #mom friends nation!!! she really could just tell him the whole thing and maybe, considering how dae is with her, visy wouldve believed her. dynamics between dae and the calm ones are so good written. and the aemond's pettiness TT he hinted. he's done everything he could.

especially!! i loved how visy tried. he really did. noticing little details about his brother not being his usual self with her. with the one who's 'aemma' for him (I LOVED THIS COMPARISON). although visy always cared for his brother, i think its a new step in their brother conflict. bc now visy ok kinda tries to understand his brother. he 0. was hesitant only bc of the wish to protect dae 1. came to see his bride 2. wasnt prejudiced 3. tried to understand their relationship 4. he can say whatever But he gave dae his permission and the blessing. "the word his baby brother meant to say was blessing." the brother conflict NEVER hit so hard. it's delighting to see daemon still trying to talk to his bro after whatever shit they've told each other.

How dae play along with his 'I can protect her'. whoever can say its toxic but i see him refusing to concede reader as 'protection'. he sees this situation (in the museum) as unsafe, those people and the public setting as unsafe, he also feels this 'magical' need to be sa close to reader as he can and to not let go of her to not be separated for another 2000 years. its only logical that he's lost but trying to survive in this overwhelming situation.

i wanted to talk abt it later but fuck it. ofc it's logical that reader cries during the intimacy with dae. i absolutely feel and understand how this must feel unreal for her bc wow he's HERE with ME he's ALIVE i MISSED him. and i LOVE how desperate this display of the need to be closer is, how this is what they practically had to do to finally understand at some soul-sacral-highest-intangible level that they're here - together, in each other's arms, not leaving. (maybe i think it feels a little out of place bc they didnt have some building up but im not complaining) BUT i do think daemon shouldve actively cried. during and especially after, clining to reader as if trying to break her. hear me up. after the whole first intense impulse of meeting the love of his life he was meant to be with, the first way of the aggressive and unexplainable need to have her, i think he must feel so hollow? just imagine plainly living your life and then having ALL of this chaos happening in your mind and everyday routine? it must feel SO devastating? you never feel the moment your very being becomes different and dont understand what to do with it. so it seems logical to me that he must feel really hollow, conflicted, lost and confused. clining to the only thing he sees, has and knows at the moment as if the child who had to grow up too fast.

AEMMA!!!!!! love her TT my baby TT nothing is right without aemma. i love the way she balances visy AHDHFJ girlboss. real girlboss. as i've said, i really like how interacting with her made visy try to understand dae more.

what about the investigation part!! 1) bobby you f- im interested in what hes going to do. also bobby is a really amusing name to me bc i associate it with a dog's name... 2) poor aemond TT i think i was never so sorry for him before. our poor boy. (but HAHDHJF the way aegon wished him to watch reader make out with dae again out of pettiness HAHD) he has to go through so much. i kinda feel that in the end he should just accept it. heavily and begrudgingly. im VERY intrigued by what hes going to find out, how hes going to react and what hes going to do with it.

i understand that it was a perfect metaphor BUT accelerando?? wtf?? i had to google it. its not a real-real complaint but im petty.

so the ending. its so soft TT its soso soft TT it gives me the feeling that everythings gonna be fine. no matter what, no matter who and how, aemma is going to attending a wedding at Dragonstone!!!!! on the aemma's behalf. and the way they say it in high valyrian makes me so touched((( the babys((( i swear its gonna be fine.

SO im gonna ask and discuss some random shit ive thought of personally. im very proud of you. i cant forget how you sacrificed 'in the keep' for it but its still veryvery perfect and im veryvery in love with it. its so great you had inspiration to write it. its really beautiful. thank you so much for your fics! im already waiting for the next part. hope EVERYONE here does to. take care!! love you<з

HAHAHH HELLO MEOW MEOW

LOVE LETTER TIME (edit: or should i say dissertation time [thus why i added the other pic AHAHAH])

Hello, love! long time no messages here, it's so unfamiliar now.

AHHAHAHAAHAHAAHAHA REALLY? ok if you say so HAHHAH doesnt feel that long to me

but i thought maybe smn wants to read about wfal, basically my advertisment, yes girlies GO READ WAITING FOR A LIFETIME!

thank you love <3

first of all, THE DESPERATION OF THE BOBBY. i feel it SO hard. the way he really pleads and is ready to offer anything, i dont dout hed offer his own life for reader to stay.

WE'LL SEE BOBBY IN THE NEXT CHAPTER ALSO ANOTHER 'GHOST' ME BECOMING HYPED ALL OVER AGAIN ITS GONNA BE MESSY AF LOL. im so glad and honestly relieved you like bobby and enjoyed his introduction.

and its so logically that desperate and lost boy starts this desperate and soft part.

YOU GET ME. YOURE AGAIN ALWAYS SO BIG BRAIN ABOUT THIS UGH. like i didnt even realize how much parrallelism i put unknowningly until i was rereading everything and i was like DAMN I DID THAT? SUBCONSCIOUSLY LASFHASFLHSA IM *THAT* WRITER. like fr. i just wanted to bob.

CAUSE YOU KNOW WHY?! I WAS WATCHING HOUSE OF GUCCI cos ya know ive been hyperfixating on kylo ren and his actor adam driver is the main dude in that film. well adam driver's character is SO MAJOR PUPPY IN IT but then he became greedy T_T like everyone and YUCK HUMAN GREED IS THE UGLIEST FOR REAL anyway, i wanted to add a character like that. i was thinking........ do i make a house of gucci fanfic???? T_T HASHFKLASHFASFHASF F but i was like nah no ones gonna read that. then i thought do i make a kylo ren fic? and then i was like NAH ITS NOT THE RIGHT SETTING. then i was like huh i could add [redacted] to the fic AND MAKE HIM MY PUPPY CHARACTER AW YIS

so yeah thats the story of bobby

TAKE BACK YOUR WORDS HANNAH bc this part may be my most favourite after (or even not) second. it's SO intense and rich in emotions and plot-moving actions!

fr no cap omg T_T thank you so much my love my baby my meow meow my dear

HAHAHHAAHHAH FAIR FAIR. no you're so right. she logically would be very hardened and reclusive after all the years of torment and waiting she's been through. in my head though, as much as she was crying for bobby, she was mostly crying for herself and seeing bobby be so desperate for her was making her frustrated because part of her really did care. she knew though that even if she did explain why she could never really love him, and even if he did try to believe her, he wouldn't understand, not fully.

i envisioned this part of her life as one of her lowest, because she's just so fucking tired (and also in my head this is the part where things begin to go in place for her regarding daemon and she just doesn't know it yet, but daemon was now existing in this lifetime and so theres like a pull in her soul or some shit thats telling her this is wrong af) and yeah this is the first time she's come close to loving someone like she loved daemon, but she's realized she's being delusional cause no one is daemon unless its daemon.

HAHHAHAHH SO YEAH that was what was going through my head when i wrote that AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH maybe i should have added that???? HAHAHA but idk its fine, there will be other chances. if you think it was tacky though that's fine. i dont mind (real) HAHHAHHAAHH

OK IDK IF I MADE IT CLEAR ENOUGH but yn told viserys everything. like fr fr everything that has happened between daemon and her now in this life. do YOU WANT A SPOILER? i'll put it in a bracket if you dont want it [if the truth starts coming out, between the 2 bros, viserys would be the one to believe yn first and thats an if because i still stand with the idea of yn just never telling daemon or anyone unless they catch on]

i'm glad you like the dynamic <3 every psycho in the family has a calm stoner counterpart.

also aemond's pettiness ASFLHASHFASF idk if its pettiness to be honest. i thought it was more of protectiveness ALSFHASF AGAIN IDK IF IT WAS CLEAR probably not 95% sure it wasn't because i reread the previous chapter. in p3 where aemond is looking through unstagram, he's looking at the museum's page, at a pic with yns blurry face cos its the only photo of her that he 'has' cos she doesn't like her photo being taken (i took a page from age of adelaide the blake lively movie) cos you know she old and her identity is at risk and stuff yadayadayada. so knowing this, as an observant person aemond is, he's very much concerned for yn. i mean yn dgaf now cos her baby boo boy is w her and she will take all the damn pics she wants but obviously that's not how that would register in aemond's head. he's prolly thinking 'this dude managed to make her change so fucking much in such little time BAD INFLUENCE BAD INFLUENCE I HATE HIM I HATE HIM'

especially!! i loved how visy tried. he really did. noticing little details about his brother not being his usual self with her. with the one who's 'aemma' for him (I LOVED THIS COMPARISON).

you get it 😫😌 viserys is trying for real. he loves his baby boy so much would die for him. and YES the comparison why aemma. idk if you remember but in part 2 daemon uses aemma as the reference for his love cos he knows how much his big bro loves big sis. in a sense, this is also a reality where they would live peacefully <3 i wanted to highlight that ((((:

although visy always cared for his brother, i think its a new step in their brother conflict. bc now visy ok kinda tries to understand his brother. he 0. was hesitant only bc of the wish to protect dae 1. came to see his bride 2. wasnt prejudiced 3. tried to understand their relationship 4. he can say whatever But he gave dae his permission and the blessing.

HAHAHH YES YES key word trying. he trying. he fighting for his life. and all your points form 0-4 (ALSO HAHAHA YOU STARTING FROM 0 T_T) real. valid. but again, like he was telling aemma "I HAVENT FOKIN GAVE THEM MY BLESSING gRRRR BARK BARK"

"the word his baby brother meant to say was blessing." the brother conflict NEVER hit so hard. it's delighting to see daemon still trying to talk to his bro after whatever shit they've told each other.

again im SO GLAD you get it. i feel so glad that at the very least YOU get it. daemon is really conflicted and he may be evil (?) but one of his redeeming qualities is that he loves his fam (: HAHAAH

okay, yeah he's toxic. this is where his rogue prince persona comes into play. he dgaf and will do anything and everything he wants. sure he does want viserys blessing but fuck that shit he's not going to wait for it before doing anything. hes going to do anything then go 'fucking finally' when visy caves. see toxic. he knows he'll come around so he fucks around all the time. T_T i will say the 'i can protect her' part was no so much for yn being in the museum per se, but he meant it in life in general. would literally go to war with a neighboring nation if he had to 0 remorse 0 hesitation. 100% would never concede reader. his past life would come to life and fucking murder him if he did.

HAHAHAHAAHAH YOURE MAD VALID FOR THINKING ITS OUT OF PLACE AHAAHAHH ITS FINE I WILL TAKE IT i didnt feel like writing anymore plot/character dev. i told you it was supposed to be they bang and they love each other very much HAHAHAHHA. im glad that you think her crying is logical and that you feel/understand what's going through her head <3

and this part 'soul-sacral-highest-intangible' HAHHAAAH THATS SO FUNNY AND SLAY AND YAS YOU GET IT

BUT i do think daemon shouldve actively cried. during and especially after, clining to reader as if trying to break her. hear me up. after the whole first intense impulse of meeting the love of his life he was meant to be with, the first way of the aggressive and unexplainable need to have her, i think he must feel so hollow? just imagine plainly living your life and then having ALL of this chaos happening in your mind and everyday routine? it must feel SO devastating? you never feel the moment your very being becomes different and dont understand what to do with it. so it seems logical to me that he must feel really hollow, conflicted, lost and confused. clining to the only thing he sees, has and knows at the moment as if the child who had to grow up too fast.

and that's the tea. who's to say he didn't bawl out crying after. not me. lets say he did! i was too fucking lazy to make any more indication of theyre bow-chika-bow-wow moment that what was in the fic. i will say the reason why i didnt make him just ugly cry mid sexy time was because well, he was leading the love making and that takes a lot of focus no? also men aren't multitaskers /: he can only cry or fuck ya feel me. HAHAHH but yeah sure. 100% canon that he turned into a putty of tears and they maybe the sad fuck for round 2 HAHAHHAHAHAH

aemma supremacy

what about the investigation part!! 1) bobby you f- im interested in what hes going to do. also bobby is a really amusing name to me bc i associate it with a dog's name...

HAHAHHAAH YES. BE 100% interested in bobby. also yes he is a dog he is yns dog. bobby is a nickname for [redacted]. i wanted to give him a modern nickname cos [redacted] is so game of thrones and i wanted to nickname him bryan but idk bobby was cuter also i feel like it kinda makes less sense if i name him bryan?

2) poor aemond TT i think i was never so sorry for him before. our poor boy. (but HAHDHJF the way aegon wished him to watch reader make out with dae again out of pettiness HAHD) he has to go through so much. i kinda feel that in the end he should just accept it. heavily and begrudgingly. im VERY intrigued by what hes going to find out, how hes going to react and what hes going to do with it.

dang you feel sorry for aemond? HAHAHAH i mean iget it but also??? he was just reading a book T_T NO SUDDENLY MY THOUGHTS OF FEELING LIKE A LOSER WHEN I READ BOOKS ALONE IN THE LIB ARE COMING IN HAHAHHHHA no but idk why you feel bad for him. i spit at aemond AHHAH JK I LOVE AEMOND. if anything i wanted you to feel more bad for aegon HAAHAA

i understand that it was a perfect metaphor BUT accelerando?? wtf?? i had to google it. its not a real-real complaint but im petty.

HAHAHAHAHAHA I WANTED TO PUT MUSIC TERMS FIGHT ME

SLOWLY GOING TO PUT MORE AND MORE MUSIC TERMS IN MY FICS SO THAT EVERYONE HAS TO GOOGLE THEM HAHHHAAHAH

yeah honestly, ending with the soft smut was really cathartic for me. i was like yes i can end this fic now. maybe i will. when i said they get married i meant they get share a marriage bed. 😌 who cares about anything else. theyre done. they did it. theyre married and i can have peace. them speaking in high valyrian is equivical to their wedding vows HAHAHH. aemma will understand HAHAHH

SO im gonna ask and discuss some random shit ive thought of personally.

SHOOT

im very proud of you.

i cant forget how you sacrificed 'in the keep' for it but its still veryvery perfect and im veryvery in love with it. its so great you had inspiration to write it. its really beautiful.

WELL DANG i still will write in the keep. i mean i started it. its just a matter of time and when i will post it HAHAHH. thank you for loving my fic i love you

thank you so much for your fics!

I LOVE YOU 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

im already waiting for the next part. hope EVERYONE here does to. take care!! love you<з

bobby dies. aemond dies. aegon dies. caraxes randomly respawns and burns everyone. yn dies. daemon dies. viserys dies. aemma dies.

love you <3

xxx

#slavyanskiyahui cutie #waiting for a lifetime #hotd modern au #ghosts

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imstunning · 5 years

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I’ve had a bad week mentally like having breakdowns and being in the absolute worst mood and tbh I’m so close to ruining my own life from like displaced anger

#like idk why i am so angry but like i am So Angry #I'm going to go home and deep clean my house and probably cry #my boss pissed me off like ya i made a mistake but it wasn't a big deal and I have way too many responsibilites here and its just so #ridiculous #basically anything nobody doesn't want to do I have to do and its p muc everyday #and like one thing I didn't even know I had to do I hae to do? and I did it half assed #and like it shouldn't be my responsibility it shouldve been either the person who set up the event or the people going to do #not mine to prepare the stuff like you guys get the shit done #I have shit to do!!#like I have real responsiblities anad then I haev like office managment bullshit which is so frustrating because the jobs I do in a day are #like individual jobs people would do as their job but I'm doing multiple #and like its just frustrating #like I know I made a mistake but like #im pissed that I had to do it in the first place when like there are other people #also if he wasnt so cheap he could hire more people to do shit so everything is done wel #we allll talk about how we are all spread too thin and there are these unrealistic expectations #and its just like #the most frustrating thing evER #anyway im staying late at work like i do every single day #and dont get paid extra or anything but I'm trying to do my best here #when I go home I am turning on music very loudly and I am deep cleaning until I feel better #which will be never #also this is like the tipping point u know like u ever feel that #the tinest thing just makes u ready to rip faces off

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yengyangyo · 3 years

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berry | k.s.w

pairings: kim sunwoo x female reader

genre: college au, friends to lovers

summary: you are in denial that you have a crush on your own friend, kim sunwoo until he made you confess your feelings.

word count: 1.9k

note: i wrote this on sunwoo's birthday. its quite late to post it cs i kept on postponing it sksksk but yea this was inspired by sunwoo's berry. enjoy reading! xo

you had sunwoo on your mind for days that you are lacking of sleep. it doesnt sit quite right for you to have this 'romantic' feelings for your bestfriend. meanwhile, sunwoo is not helping you to clear up your mind at all. he's just always there beside you no matter what.

he'd wait at the bus stop just to go to class together with you in the morning even when you're running late. lunch time together is a must unless one of you had other plans. both of you are just stuck together anywhere you go.

so for once, you thought it'd be a good plan to avoid him today. you woke up early that morning to get to class and you texted sunwoo that you had a discussion with your groupmates. this went on for a few days, you were making excuses everyday but sunwoo believed you.

until he couldnt take it anymore.

you felt your phone vibrating in your pocket and you saw sunwoo on the caller id. you were hesitating to pick it up until you felt someone grabbing your wrist from the back, turning you around.

"found ya!"

sunwoo appeared in front of you with the brightest smile. you couldn't help but to feel happy and welcomed by him that you started smiling unknowingly. you get back to your senses seconds later and avoided his eyes.

sunwoo knew something was wrong when he saw your expression fell. he glanced at your phone that kept ringing. he ended the call and your phone went off too.

"why arent you answering my calls? are you still busy?"

you couldnt stand seeing sunwoo looking all gloomy and upset. you felt bad for ignoring him so you tried making up excuses again.

"oh yea i was about to pick it up. sorry,"

sunwoo pouted and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. he's using his favourite perfume again today, you noticed. that scent happened to be your fav of him too. you felt weak and wanting to crawl into a hole or something.

"im craving chicken today. how about chicken and beer for dinner tonight?"

sunwoo turned his head at you, waiting for an answer. you looked up at him and his face was only inches away from you. you looked away, flustered. he had always been this way but only now you noticed how you felt about him which made it more awkward to be this close to him.

"i dont know, sunwoo. i'll have to check with my groupmates," you said, pretending to check your phone for your nonexistent messages.

"its friday come on. i havent hang out with you for days already," sunwoo whined and that made you laugh.

"alright but i get to choose where to eat,"

you chose the chicken restaurant near your neighbourhood where you both are regular customers there. the place was crowded with youngsters like the both of you, drunken with beer and chicken.

you were also getting tipsy from drinking. the first 30 minutes of the dinner went normal. asking how each other had been doing with the college life.

sunwoo sighed and rested his chin on his right palm. his eyes falters on you, searching for something. you looked away, feeling a bit burdened and transparent, because sunwoo knew you werent acting yourself these days.

"hey," he called you but you didnt answer and still avoiding the eye contact.

"hey look at me,"

you were startled at the warmth on both of your cheeks. sunwoo was cupping your cheeks to make you look at him straight in the eyes. you didnt know if this warmth was from his hand or from you blushing.

"what's wrong?" he asked. now his hand moved to yours, holding it tight. "you're avoiding me these days. do you think i didnt notice?"

silence fell between you two, just staring at each other. the guilt creeping up inside you and you didn't know where to start.

its the smallest gesture from him that create butterflies in your stomach.

that one time he opened the water bottle for you when he saw you struggling and saying that you're such a baby. his laughter filled the room when you frowned at the remark. you know how much he loves annoying you and in the end he always made you laugh too.

on rainy days, he'd always share the umbrella with you and keeping you close to him so you wouldnt get drenched. sometimes he'd gently rub your arm so you wouldn't get too cold.

sometimes he'd call you names like how boyfriend and girlfriend do, jokingly. though, you somewhat enjoyed it and played along. pretending to cringe but actually was flattered by him.

at this moment, your hand in his, eyes boring into each other, you just want to scream at him how much you love him.

you smiled in defeat and pulled back your hand.

"there were just so many thoughts going on my mind lately, sunwoo. im so sorry,"

he didn't question you any further and he nodded his head.

"whatever it is youre thinking, i just want you to know i'm always here for you,"

you smiled, this time sincerely at him.

"you always are sunwoo. i appreciate that,"

he smirked, "after all, i am the best that you got,"

you rolled your eyes and gave him your disgusted face.

"so are you gonna tell me what's bugging you?"

"i think i like someone. he's just always running round in my mind these days,"

you didnt know where the courage came from to blurt out that out of your mouth. sunwoo who was halfway shoving a piece of chicken in his mouth, stopped. he put it down and looked at you, doubting himself if he heard that right.

"i couldnt stop thinking about him. that pretty much explains that i like him right? or is it just my mind playing games with me?"

you swore you saw his face fell for a second but he went back to the usual sunwoo after that.

"does he know about your feelings?"

you shrugged, "nah. im still trying to find out what i really feel about him. should i tell him?"

sunwoo didnt say anything and chugged down his beer until its empty.

"yea why not," he answered simply. "he must be really lucky to have you,"

you laughed, "i havent done anything yet. there's a possibility that he'd reject me too anyway,"

its funny how you talk about this like its some stranger to sunwoo when you are talking about him. you felt light hearted a bit after letting that out.

"who'd reject you?" sunwoo said while playing with that piece of chicken, not looking at you anymore. "you're pretty and fun,"

you raised an eyebrow, wondering if you heard that right. he was still poking the chicken with his fork, eyes hazy and lips pouting.

"so you're not gonna tell me who is this guy you have a crush on?"

"you'll find out soon,"

sunwoo offered to walk you home though you kindly told him he didn't have to. he insisted and now you are walking beside him. he was suddenly quiet after the conversation you had with him.

"is that why you're avoiding me? because you have a crush on this guy?"

he asked, hands in his pockets, eyes looking forward. you looked at him, feeling a bit weirded out by his cold tone.

"no... okay maybe? i dont know. i just needed some time to myself,"

sunwoo fell quiet again for the rest of the walk home. when you reached the front gate of your house, you looked back at sunwoo. he looked like he was upset. you walked up to him and pat his side.

"hey thanks for walking me home. i'll tell you everything when i'm ready okay?"

sunwoo didnt say anything and you turned around to get out of that awkward moment.

"no i'll tell you everything right now okay? hear me out,"

you stopped in your tracks and facing him in confusion. he was pacing around, his hands are restless in his pockets.

"before you confess to him i guess i have to make a move on you first," sunwoo said, this time he raised his voice. "this is why people are saying we should always tell what we feel before we regret it and i dont want to regret it but i think im too late,"

you are worried at him. he looked like he was about to break down right in front of you. you wanted to comfort him but you didnt get what he's trying to say.

"sunwoo, i dont understand. what is it?"

sunwoo stopped pacing around and stopped directly in front of you. you swore you saw his eyes tearing up and you wanted to cry too. you thought, the alcohol has made both of you emotional.

"i like you,"

you both felt like the world is weighing down. it was as if the time has stopped for you two. you were staring at each other in disbelief.

"i know you like someone else and i shouldve told you sooner. i kept on putting back my feelings behind," sunwoo halted, gasping for air. "im too late now but i have to tell you this,"

"sunwoo-"

"i dont care who he is. but i want you to know that you deserve of love. you kept on telling yourself you dont deserve anyone. you know how badly i want to tell you that im here? i want to love you," sunwoo was practically shouting at this point. he sighed, "shit im already am in love with you,"

at those words, your tears came streaming down like crazy. you've never seen him cry but tonight he looked beautiful even when he's crying. you lurched forward and wrapped your arms around him. he buried his face in your neck and you felt his warm tears on your skin.

"im sorry. i just wanted to let that out after keeping it for so long. this is the worst timing huh?" he murmured under his breath.

you shook your head and laughed. you let go of the hug first and cupped his face in your hands. teary eyes staring at each other.

"sunwoo its you,"

"what?"

"i love you too,"

you closed the distance between the two of you, kissing him for the first time. that caught him off guard but then smiled in the kiss. it was sloppy but sunwoo is for sure leading you well at this. you both craved for this for a long time already. you were still crying of relief and touched by his confession.

"you should've told me before i start crying like an idiot," sunwoo looked down at you, smiling with his swollen eyes.

you laughed at him and you snuggled more into his embrace not wanting to let go too soon. you realized how much you miss him after those dreading days of ignoring him. he rested his chin on your head while gently patting you.

"im sorry ive been ignoring and denying my feelings for you,"

"its okay. thank god we actually like each other though," you both laughed at the same time and you havent felt this happy and giddy before.

"so i can actually call you my baby now?" sunwoo asked smirking at you playfully, knowing how much you hated it before.

"that's still cringy but sure, babe,"

#kim sunwoo #the boyz #the boyz scenarios #the boyz imagines #the boyz fics #sunwoo fluff #sunwoo scenarios #sunwoo imagines #kpop fanfic #tbz fanfic #tbz imagines #tbz scenarios #sunwoo oneshots #tbz oneshots

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smolfailure · 3 years

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FUCK IT, DREAM SMP HOMESTUCK AU

but it's only half shitposts and there are actual Thoughts in there.

You don't need to have read the comic to understand because I tried not to spoil anything major, but it'd help if you knew basic stuff about classpects, SBURB and the hemospectrum.

disclaimer: i'm not a good pixel artist and this is my first actual sprites ever so please be kind to my weird pixels

The Kids:

Tommy

Fundy

Techno

Tubbo

tommy, tubbo and fundy one of the kids because they're the kids in dream smp canon (with fundy being son of wilbur)

techno's there because i want to make a dave strider reference (haha get it because techno's name is also da-- *gets shot) and also because they are both coolguys except instead of using irony, techno has adhd

The Trolls:

Wilbur Soohte (fuschia)

?????? Ehrret (violet)

J????? Shlatt (purple)

Nihacu Niikki (indigo)

Skeppy Diamon (cerulean)

Quacki Tthiey (teal)

Philza Myncra (jade)

Dreame Wastkn (lime disguising as olive)

George Notfou (gold)

Sapphe Nahfpe (bronze)

Badboy Haelow (burgundy)

don't come at me saying only females are allowed to be jades and fuschias; gender is fake and this is an au

more of the AU and the talksprites are under the cut:

Tommy

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Red

chaotic. the first person to be introduced.

when he gets introduced instead of the “Zoosmell Pooplord” bit, Tommy is initially going to be the name inputted but then backspaced it and decided that Tommyinnit was better and he was fuming until he’s named Tommy.

Gives me big Blood/Hope vibes. Blood because a lot of the conflict of the dream smp connected to someone breaking his trust or harming the things he cares about, Hope because a lot of the plot of the dream smp stems from Tommy starting shit based on his ideals and what he thinks is right.

the first to instigate fighting against the trolls

bbh contacts him once and tommy keeps cursing until he disconnects from frustration rip

wields Gunkind and his only strife weapon at the beginning is the Vlog gun. He has Gunkind as his strife specibus mainly because he looked up at schlatt and he imitates him.

Fundy

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Orange

it was his idea to play SBURB but only through Dream.

he talks to dream the most among the other trolls fwt stans getcha juice this is the rosemary of the session

dream’s the one giving him exposition about the game so that’s how he knows how to play SBURB.

wilbur trolls fundy once and instantly adopts him.

“You’re my son.” “How does that even work??” “I was one of the people who created your universe. It’s basically the same thing.”

Fundy relents anyway.

Techno

Lunar sway: Derse. Types in: Pink

dave strider but dead-inside voice + rose lalonde english major vibes

he slices the text box when you try to name him "Dave " like in

techno gives me time player vibes (contantly on the move. his skyblock series, his “stays in the pit” monologue,) but also rage vibes (anarchy, the “theseus” monologue, political alignment is Chaos) alas i am not sure what class

uses Tridentkind and claims "it came from god"

it was dream, he accidentally transportalized one of wilbur’s weapon while he testing the transportalizer.

Tubbo

Lunar sway: Prospit. Types in: Green

the jade harley of this session. the only thing keeping them from going apeshit. where would they be without him.

but also jade harley in a sense that he seems nice and wholesome but also don’t fuck with them they can mess you up

Heart/Life vibes??? someone good at classpecting help

i put them in prospit bc of the "tubbo third eye" instead of tubbo having a sixth sense or smth, they see the future from the clouds of skaia when they sleep

wields Stress-relieverKind at some point

bonus: everyone’s actual hair colors

Ideas about the Trolls

no i haven’t done their sprites yet bc it would take so much time and i’m not even sure if people wanna see more of this au skjdkdsakdfkl,, but i have Design Ideas.

events of the dsmp revolution are just a FLARP session drawing parallels to how the homestuck trolls had a FLARP session that spoiler alert: destroyed friendships. dtrio, eret, will are involved. eret betrays will's faction and wilbur's still Bitter over that.

on the context of alternia (highbloods and lowbloods) lmanburg and dreamsmp have their roles SWAPPED. the emancipation theme thing is completely gone since highbloods are in more power than the lowbloods (the dream team) .

wilbur made a faction called l’manburg because he wants a place where he and his fellow highbloods could make drugs vibe.they take a piece of land that was owned by the dream team. in normal circumstances, they shouldve stood down because lowbloods aren't supposed to start shit with highbloods (especially a group of highbloods that has the alternian heir among them) but dream turned it into an activism thing about lowblood rights. the story plays as close as possible without tommy or tubbo in it (which is pretty hard ik but this is the best can do).

like in the dreamsmp revolution, dream kinda let wilbur do what he wants but this time he has more reason to because he’s in a lower caste. dream really only fought back when wilbur announced that he’d be building lmanburg on their land and calling it theirs.

eret betrays wilbur by supporting the lowbloods and wilbur and co. technically won but only because he finally called the drones in, as a reference to how lmanburg absolutely got crushed by the dream team in the smp but technically won. l’manburg keeps the piece of land and the dream team scatter away to find a new home.

wilbur soot's a fuschia because a) he's in a position that has a lot of power, b) yknow how he wrote a song about squids and his thing with sally… yeah.

eret's a violet because nobility!! dream looks down on him because he's ambivalent on fighting for lowblood rights when he's in a power to do so "you just sit there, and you look pretty that's it"

also like eridan he has a minor aesthetic mutation (herobrine eyes) that won't classify him as a mutant.

jschlatt is purple because it makes sense thematically because of the gamzee parallels (a. substance abuse b. if you know what happens in act 6, you know this already but spoiler alert, he ruins the main protagonists' lives) also he's a funnyman he deserves the clown caste

quackity's a teal because he’s a law student. moving on--

ok but for real it also makes sense thematically because he's the one who wrote the thing that tricked schlatt into agreeing also he gets manipulated by schlatt which also draws parallels to certain events in the comic

skeppy and bbh are BEST FRIENDS despite being highblood and lowblood respectively. initially, skeppy just wanted to bother bbh but they grew to be good friends in time. y’know like how they actually becane friends :D

philza minecraft is a jade because dad friend. also works thematically, because spoiler alert he gets to murder a seadweller for going batshit crazy.

he also god tiers early. he dies fighting his quick undead denizen (haha baby zombie) but the consorts of his land carry him to his quest bed because he’s treated them all so well.

dream was initially going to be another caste but then i realized that means i have to make his hoodie something other than green which is unacceptable so its a good thing the fact that he's a lime works out

dream was the one who thought of playing sgrub in the first place- initially only planned to have gogy, sap, and bbh in the session but then realized that they four won't be enough so he invited more into his session

he’s also the first to go godtier ez clap blind speedrun not sure what classpect tho

the only reason why dream avoided being culled at birth for being a limeblood is because his rng is That Good. he quickly picked up the fact that he’s not supposed to exist and masqueraded as an oliveblood and kept mostly to himself to avoid suspicion.

george is still colorblind but he has lazer eyes along with it instead. dream lives with him in the same hive since being a mutant means dream doesn’t get a lusus of his own (dnf fans getcha juice “and they were roommates”)

despite living in the same hive, he never really figures out that dream is a limeblood. possibly because a) he’s colorblind and when he sees dream bleeding he just sees yellow b) he’s just that fucking oblivious and it’s so valid of him.

sapnap’s a bronzeblood mainly because i know he’s the instigator of the pet war with tommy also because i associate him with the color orang in my mind so bronze it is

that’s the end of this long-ass post!! if you have other ideas PLEASE i want to hear them. i don’t know the other streamers i mentioned in here very well so if you have ideas that would be fitting to them like with classpect or lunar sway that would be GREAT.

the only thing i’m confident about in here are the kids’ lunar sways. i’m not an expert in classpects and homestuck lore so there’s that too!! i just wanted to make this post because adhd means that the idea wouldn’t shut up until i finished it. This initially started as a single shitpost edit of tommyinnit talksprite but then the hiveswap 2 trailer came out and that means i have to combine my two hyperfixations.

also i have ideas about potential quadrants but idk how much of that is breaking some streamers’ boundaries about shipping (even the non romantic quads such as kismesistude, morallegiance and auspisticism) so i decided not to include it.

edit: apparently people want more so i made a discord server as a place to brainstorm!! please pm me to join!

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