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marvelfanfn2187a113 · 9 months

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Liar part 2

Dean Winchester x little sister!reader, John Winchester x daughter!reader

Synopsis: John goes after you and Dean after you left him behind.

A/N: here’s part 2! I hadn’t planned on this, but I got some inspiration so here it is. Not really my favorite, but it’s alright.

Previously on:

"Dean? Why didn't you want me to go back to the room?"

"Can't you just trust me?"

"Don't say that, I do trust you, always. But I wanna know."

Dean tried his best to force a smile on his lips as he reached over and ruffled your hair.

"Doesn't matter sweetheart. What matters is, you're safe, and we're gonna be ok."

"What about dad?"

Dean forced himself to look over at you, and he felt a pang in his chest when he saw you. You were curled in on yourself, looking up at him. You looked so small.

Honey, I need you to just trust me. Please, can you do that for me?"

You didn't even hesitate.

"Ok Dean. I trust you."

You were true to your word. Over the next several days, Dean drove you as far away as possible from John, stopping every night at dingy motels. Each night while you slept, Dean searched for a job, trying to make this trip seem less aimless.

Even though you had no clue where you were going, or why Dean had left dad in the dust, you didn’t ask Dean about it again. He asked you to trust him, and he was incredibly proud to discover that you trusted him this much. Enough to leave dad for the time being, to travel across the country, and not ask him why, simply because he had asked you not to.

Your patience could not last forever, though, and that night when Dean informed you that you’d be driving through the night, you finally brought up the cursed topic.

“Dean?”

Dean turned down the music and glanced over at you.

“What’s up?”

“When are we gonna see dad again?”

Dean sighed. He knew this would have to come up eventually.

“I don’t know.”

“You can’t stay mad at him forever. He has to be worried about us.”

Dean shook his head, “It’s not about being mad at him.”

“Then what? What’s important enough to make you leave him behind?”

Dean just stared at you.

…

It took three weeks for John to track down his children. He sat in the motel parking lot, debating his options. He’d arrived there just after ten at night, and even though he’d found one of Dean’s aliases checked into a room, he didn’t see the Impala anywhere. Dean must’ve been out to a bar. Not that it mattered, because after weeks of searching John was just now realizing something; he had no clue what he was going to do.

He’d thought about reasoning with Dean, but he was kidding himself. Dean always obeyed John, always, but John had never seen him more determined than when he stormed out to take you away. Dean wouldn’t be giving up.

But John couldn’t either. He couldn’t let you stay with Dean and become weak. Being weak meant you were vulnerable, and being vulnerable meant you could die. He wouldn’t let that happen. And if that meant taking you on hunts, then so be it, and screw what Dean thought.

John finally stepped out of his car, his mind made up.

…

You were rudely awoken from your sleep by a loud knock at the door. After two days of barely any sleep in the Impala, you had decided to hit the hay early while Dean went out for a drink.

You figured he’d probably forgotten his key, so you rolled out of bed and went to open the door.

You most certainly weren’t expecting John to be standing there when you opened it.

“Dad,” you breathed, your face lighting up. You restrained yourself from going in for a hug after what happened last time, and instead decided to see what he did. If he was in a good mood, maybe he’d let you greet him properly, but if something was going on, if danger was near, then you figured it was better to let him get down to business.

“Hey kiddo,” he spared you a half smile before glancing around the room. “Dean’s gone, right?”

You frowned, hesitating before responding.

“Yeah, he went out for a drink.”

Why had it sounded like John wanted Dean to be gone?

“Great, get your stuff and let’s hit the road.”

Your instincts told you to obey, but you stayed rooted to the spot, too confused to listen.

“Without Dean?”

John rubbed a hand over his face, “Look, it’s been a long day, and I don’t want any arguments. Let’s go.”

“Are we gonna get Dean first?”

John’s patience was beginning to wear thin.

“No, no we’re not. Now get your stuff.”

Your stubbornness wasn’t wavering.

“I don’t understand. What about Dean?”

John gritted his teeth, “Dean has a job he needs to work on here. We’re going. Now I won’t tell you again, get your stuff.”

You snatched your bag up and tried to find a reason to stall.

You weren’t really sure why; after all, you had been following a chain of command your whole life. John told Dean what to do, Dean told you what to do, that’s the way it had always been. You trusted it. You trusted Dean and John. But now…

Now you were starting to wonder if you trusted John because you trusted Dean.

And now, after Dean had run off on John for who knew what reason, and John was telling you to leave Dean behind…

What did you do? Who did you trust?

“Kid,” you nearly flinched when John clapped a hand on your shoulder. “C’mon, time’s wasting.” His tone was softer now, and you felt your resolve slipping. Maybe Dean really wasn’t fighting with dad, maybe it really was just some job.

You could trust John. Dean trusted John, and you trusted Dean. Dean practically sung John’s praises, so he had to be safe.

You looked up at your father and smiled.

“Yeah ok. Let’s go.”

…

John drove through the night, parked in a clump of trees on the side of the road for a few hours sleep, and then drove until midnight before the two of you finally stopped at a motel.

“Get some sleep,” John instructed. “In the morning we’ve got a job.”

Your head jerked up, and you frowned.

“We? As in…I’m going?”

John grinned at you.

“Yeah. I think it’s about time for your first hunt. You’ve been training with Dean, right?”

You fidgeted nervously, “I mean…yeah, I know how to kill a lot of different types of monsters, and he showed me how to use a gun and a knife and-“

“Good,” John interrupted. “Then get some rest, tomorrow’s the day.”

“But…but I thought you and Dean thought I should wait.” At least that’s what Dean said.

John just shook his head, “Dean can think what he wants. But I think you’re ready.”

…

Dean wasn’t sure how frantic he should be. For about forty-five seconds, he’d been freaking out, before he saw the symbol you left on a scrap of paper on the dresser.

It was an upside-down J, the symbol he’d taught you to leave if dad stopped by while he was gone.

Years earlier

“Ok, so let’s go over it again.”

“Dean, this is stupid. What are these even for anyway?”

Dean scoffed, “It’s not stupid if something comes to get you while me and Sam are gone.”

“But if it gets me, how is this gonna help?”

“Look, kid. If something happens, and I get back to the hotel, and you aren’t here, I need to know why. If you need to be on your own for a little bit, there’s a symbol for that. If you get taken by cops, we’ll know where to look. If it’s humans, we’ll have a place to start. You get where I’m going with this?”

You sighed, “Yeah ok ok. I guess that makes sense. But how am I supposed to leave this symbol if-“

“Look, I’m not saying it’s a fool proof plan. Most likely you won’t get a chance to leave me a message, but if you do, you won’t have time to think about it. That’s why you need to memorize these symbols well, so that if you do get only a split second to give me a clue, you know how to do it.”

You nodded, glancing at the symbols again before smiling up at Dean.

“You know, you’re kinda smart sometimes.”

“Yeah well, I have my moments.”

Now

So John had you. Definitely not the end of the world, but there could be only one reason John would come in while Dean was gone and take you.

He wanted you to hunt.

Dean had never struggled with family loyalty like this before. His life had been simple for so long. Do what dad said, dad knew best, dad would protect the family.

But now dad wanted to put you in danger, and Dean knew you weren’t ready. You wouldn’t ever be ready.

It wasn’t your fault, you were a hard worker, and you would do whatever Dean said. You would train all day, every day, if Dean told you to. But hunting wasn’t an instinct for you, not the way it was for Sam and Dean.

Besides, even if it had been, Dean didn’t want you out there hunting until you were old enough to choose that life. He and Sam hadn’t had a choice, they’d grown up hunting and now they were stuck doing it. Dean wanted you to have a choice. If you chose hunting, then Dean would make sure you were trained enough for it. If you chose something else, well then you hadn’t made any enemies yet, so hopefully getting out would be an option for you.

But it wouldn’t be if John had anything to say about it. Not too long ago, Dean would’ve said that he’d do anything John told him to do.

Apparently he would’ve been wrong.

…

Every instinct in your body was screaming at you, begging with you, desperately pleading for you to just run. The plea was deafening.

But John yelled louder.

“Kill it!”

You were trying. You really were.

You backed away from the vampire that had cornered you, swinging your machete wildly but unable to get the vampire’s head off. Quite the contrary, you seemed to only be pissing him off.

You gave another, desperate swing, and the vampire grabbed your arm, twisting it until you had no choice but to drop your weapon.

He stooped to pick it up, still holding onto your arm.

“Now what were you planning on doing with this, huh?” He twisted it in his hand, and a cry of pain escaped you when the machete sliced a long, deep cut along your ribs. His iron grip was the only thing keeping you on your feet as you hunched over your injury.

You saw a flash of metal as the vampire lifted the machete to strike a fatal blow, most likely about to lob off your head.

You heard the swish of metal, and closed your eyes tightly so you wouldn’t have to watch. You hoped it wouldn’t hurt, that you would be dead instantly.

You waited. One. Two. Three.

You hesitantly opened your eyes when you felt the hand gripping you go slack. The vampire was at your feet. Or, most of him was. His head had rolled several feet away. You felt your stomach twist, and you cried out as a sharp pain in your ribs dropped you to your knees.

John’s strong arms lifted you up, and the two of you were silent as he half carried, half dragged you to the car. Of course the silence could only last so long, and not long after the door to the car slammed shut, the yelling started.

Dean or even Sam would’ve been completely prepared for John’s blowup, especially after a job went as wrong as this one did. You, however, were finally beginning to realize just how wrong you were in your view of your father.

You were finally beginning to realize just how much Dean had lied to you about him.

…

It didn’t take Dean long to track down John’s alias. Thankfully, he wasn’t trying too hard to hide. Dean figured that John was fine with being found, and was just assuming that Dean would “cool off” and listen to John. Well, Dean had no intention of changing his mind.

He pounded on the motel door, and waited a grand total of seventeen seconds before kicking it down.

John jerked his head up from where he was cleaning a knife, and Dean’s eyes swept right past him until he saw you, sitting on one of the hotel beds, a needle in your hand and blood dripping down an open wound across your ribs.

“Dean, what the-“

Dean ignored his father and rushed to you, his eyes going first to your wound and then to your face, his hands reaching up and grabbing your shoulders.

“Hey baby, are you ok?”

The second your eyes landed on your older brother, your whole body seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, and he could see in your eyes how happy you were to see him.

“Dean…” the one word seemed all you could manage, but John was well ready to make up for that.

“Dean, you can’t just come charging in here! You have a job-“

“This is my job!” Dean whipped around to face his father, his voice raising until he noticed you flinching out of the corner of his eye. He lowered his voice, placing a hand back on your shoulder before continuing. “Watching out for her, that’s my job, you’ve made that clear since the day you brought her home. So now, I’m gonna stitch her up, and I-“

“I told you to train her, not baby her! She can stitch her own wound, it’s about time she learned how!”

You swallowed as you stared down at the needle in your hand. You had stitched up Sam and Dean many times, but the idea of putting the needle into your own skin was…sickening, to say the least.

Dean gritted his teeth, “She shouldn’t have to. I can take care of her.“

“You can’t-“

“And the rest of this conversation can wait until your daughter isn’t bleeding out on the bed!”

Surprisingly, John fell silent as Dean began getting you ready to be stitched up.

“Lay back,” he instructed as he sterilized the needle. You did as he said, nervously watching his hands as he worked. He smiled down at you.

“You should probably look somewhere else. It’ll hurt worse if you watch.”

You obeyed, turning your eyes from your wound to Dean’s face. He focused on his stitching at first, but once he had started he was able to focus more on you.

“So, what’d you hunt?”

“Vamps.” Your voice was quiet, and Dean could hear the barely concealed pain behind it.

“Yeesh, that must’ve been hard. Aren’t you Team Edward?”

You giggled, which made Dean’s job harder, but it was worth it to distract you from the pain.

“Hey now, I told you I watched the Twilight movies ironically.”

“Uh-huh.”

“They’re fun to make fun of!”

“Oh I’m sure princess. So, how many did you take out?”

You grinned, “Two.”

“Nice, Edward and his brother.”

“Sister, actually. And you know that thing about vamps always being hot?”

“Yeah?”

“Total myth, I mean this lady was ugly even before her head was rolling across the floor.”

Dean laughed, and you joined in before stopping with a gasp of pain.

“Ok, yeah maybe laughter was a bad idea.” Dean returned to silence for several seconds as he worked on your stitches. The tension in the room was palpable, but Dean finished the stitches quickly before John could start a fight again.

“Alright, you’re all set. Now go grab a clean shirt and change in the bathroom.” Dean helped you up and pulled you into a hug, kissing your head and whispering so John wouldn’t hear; “stay in there until I come get you, ok?”

You gave him a barely perceptible nod as you grabbed a clean shirt and disappeared into the small motel bathroom, closing the door behind you.

“So,” Dean sighed, facing his father. “I heard you, before I came in. You were yelling at her. Why? What happened on that hunt?” He stepped towards his father, “And more importantly, how could you let her get hurt? Why weren’t you watching her? This was her first hunt, anything could’ve happened!”

“How could I let her? Watch your tone, boy, I didn’t let anything happen. She was useless out there! I thought you said you trained her!”

“I didn’t train her to hunt!”

John froze.

“What?”

Dean clenched and unclenched his fists, trying to diffuse his anger at least a little.

“I didn’t train her to hunt.”

“But she said-“

“I taught her how to use weapons, how to identify monsters, but I didn’t teach her how to hunt. I taught her self defense.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, that if she gets attacked, she can defend herself, that’s it! I didn’t show her how to hunt, because she’s too young to be in this life! But if something or someone goes after her, she’ll be fine.”

John scoffed, “Well all your coddling has done is insured that she can’t hold her ground in a fight!”

“You’re right!” Dean exploded, “And she shouldn’t have to! I taught her all the best ways to get to safety!”

“She needs to know how-“

“How to what? To kill?” Dean was almost nose-to-nose with John. “No. She doesn’t. I’m not gonna teach her to kill. I’m gonna teach her to survive.”

Dean brushed past John and went to the bathroom door, knocking lightly on it.

“Honey? You ready to come out?”

You opened the door slowly, and Dean didn’t miss the way your head was lowered just enough for your hair to veil your face. Dean placed one hand at the back of your head, and with the other one he gently lifted your chin up.

You sniffled, trying—and failing—to blink your tears away. Dean pulled you into a hug, ignoring John’s scoff from the corner of the room.

“You did your best today, kid,” Dean’s voice was soft and quiet, and you pulled yourself closer to him, comforted by his tone. “And you’re never gonna do that again, ok? I’m never gonna make you hunt.”

“Hold on,” John would not stay silent anymore. “Dean, you can’t keep her out of this, it’s our lives.”

“Not hers!” Dean pulled away from you, but kept a hand on your shoulder to keep you close. “Not if she doesn’t want it. I trained her the way I did for a reason; if she wants to hunt when she’s older, then I’ll train her to the next level. If she doesn’t, then she knows enough to defend herself, but she hasn’t made any enemies. You’re not gonna mess that up, you aren’t gonna drag her into this life with no choice.”

John scoffed, “Well then why don’t we ask her?” John turned his laser beam face to you, “Baby, I want you to come with me. I’ll show you how to hunt, properly this time, since Dean won’t.”

You stared at him for a long moment.

This was your father, the man you’d looked up to for your whole life. The one Dean had looked up to for as long as you could remember.

But then you looked at the machete on the table, remembered how wrong it had felt in your hands. How scared you’d been going up against those vamps. How much you just wanted Dean to come and get you and take you back to the motel. How wrong it had felt to kill those vampires, to watch their heads roll across the floor, even though they’d tried to kill you.

You knew more than anything that you didn’t want to hunt. That wasn’t the life for you. But it was more than that.

John was asking you to choose him over Dean. This was not a situation you had ever imagined you would be in, and yet you knew instantly what choice to make.

There were many reasons for your choice, but one memory came to your mind as one of the best reasons.

Years ago

“He’s not coming, is he?”

Dean threw an arm around your shoulder, trying desperately to lighten the mood.

“I’m sure things just got a little hairy with that wendigo. He’ll be back in a day or so, though.”

“I think he might’ve forgotten.” You weren’t about to tell Dean, but that morning you had called John, desperate to hear his voice on your birthday. He had answered, surprisingly, but as soon as he found out that there was no emergency, he’d hung up with a simple, “I’ll be home soon…ish.”

He hadn’t said “happy birthday”, or “sorry I couldn’t be there”, or anything like that. You were almost sure he’d forgotten.

“Of course he didn’t forget,” Dean assured you, with so much conviction that you were starting to believe him. If Dean thought that John was so great, then surely he was right. Dean was always right, and he wouldn’t lie to you.

“Tell you what,” Dean continued. “Go sit in Baby, I’ve got a surprise for you.”

You obeyed eagerly, and as soon as you sat in the passengers seat, Dean handed you a small parcel wrapped in a newspaper.

You tore it open to reveal a cassette tape.

“What’s-“

“It’s a mixtape,” Dean was grinning from ear to ear. “It’s got all your favorites on it.”

You giggled, “what happened to driver picks-“

“Eh eh, House rules still stand, but, if you’re lucky, or it’s a special occasion, I might just let you pop that in once in a while.”

You grinned up at Dean.

“Special occasions…like my birthday?”

Dean laughed, “Stick it in, birthday girl! I wanna make sure I got all your favorites on there.”

Two hours and a lot of karaoke later, you assured Dean that he had in fact got all of your favorites on there, and he smiled at you for a moment before-

“You wanna play them again?”

Now

“No.”

John stared at you.

“What?”

You swallowed hard, nervously fingering the sleeve of Dean’s jacket as you stared back at your father.

“No. I don’t wanna hunt, and I want to be with Dean.”

“You…” John seemed at a loss for words. He couldn’t comprehend his baby girl picking her brother over her father.

“I want Dean.”

Even though your voice was quiet, the authority and surety in it was undeniable.

John didn’t speak. He simply grabbed his bag and walked out the door, leaving his children alone as he drove off.

“He’ll be back,” Dean assured you, and even though neither of you knew it at the time, he was right. John might not always be right about family, but he wouldn’t abandon them.

“Ok,” Dean was surprised at your tone. You didn’t sound as though you really cared if John came back.

“Are you ok?” Dean asked, sitting down on the bed so he was closer to eye level with you.

You sat down next to him and curled yourself into his side.

“I am now.”

Eventually, Dean laid back onto the bed, and you went with him, and the two of you laid there for a while, wrapped up together in a contented state. Dean was just about to drift off to sleep when you spoke.

“You lied to me. About dad.”

Dean’s voice came out in a sigh, and his chest rumbled under your head as he spoke

“I know.”

“Dean?”

Dean hummed.

“Thank you.”

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mysadcorner · 11 months

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Jason Dean x SASurvivor!Reader Headcanons

Hello! I was wondering if I could get a Jason dean x reader fic? Could it be about telling jd about a time when reader was sa’ed? And he tells her it wasn’t her fault? And then the next day maybe he’s sneaking into her room and there’s a bit of blood on his collar? And he’s like “you don’t have to worry abt him anymore”

- Credit to the gifs owner - Please be specific about characters wanted in requests -

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• JD would be absolutely furious when he first finds out what happened to you, and his anger will be pretty much uncontrollable no matter how calm he seems to be in the moment. He's definitely planning something straight away even though he won't tell you.

• He would sit with you for quite some time to help you through your emotions and to make sure you feel comforted and ready to rest. During this time of your shared silence or deep talking he'd spend his time with his mind racing, thinking how someone could do such a thing and what kind of punishment he needs to inflict upon them while he holds you.

• He’d plan on staying with you that night and wouldn’t leave you at all until he knew you were feeling at least slightly busy. He wouldn’t leave your side until he knew you had something to do, or were going to be with someone he approved of and would look after you.

• You would eventually notice that he had disappeared for the whole day shortly after you told him of what had happened, and when he came back he would be very proud of himself. He may even cause a scene so whoever hurt you would be forever humiliated in both life and death.

• Afterwards, JD would be acting like nothing happened on his behalf and putting on an innocent facade in front of others. However, this won’t stop him from dropping little hints at his involvement and making jokes about it.

• He’d let you know straight away what he did though, especially as he thought it was justified and would make you feel better (wether he was right about this he doesn’t really care). You’d never have to worry about that person ever hurting you again because of JD, and he really wanted you to know that. Also, you would probably end up have to cover for him if either of you were questioned about the incident.

#jason dean x reader #jason dean heathers #jason dean headcanons #jason dean x you #jason dean x y/n #jason dean #jd #jd x y/n #jd headcanons #jd heathers #jd x you #jd x reader #heathers headcanons #heathers x reader #heathers x you #heathers #heathers x y/n

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impala-dreamer · 1 month

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Tell Me about ...the hair swipe

Begging For It

Jensen Ackles x Reader

Sexy and Delicious, 18+

Impala-Dreamer’s Masterlist ~ Patreon ~ Published Works

It was such a simple gesture. The sweep of fingers through long dark hair; the subtle shake of his head as the hair fell back into place. It was an unconscious motion that he barely took note of, just something that his hand decided to do now and then. It wasn’t important, it didn’t mean anything. It was just something that he did.

Something that drove her absolutely wild.

Y/N watched from across the big living room as Jensen pushed a hand through his hair again. He’d been letting it grow out lately, and he’d never looked more handsome. Occasionally, he’d threaten to cut it, so shave the beard, to go back to trying to look younger, but Y/N wouldn’t have it. She’d beg him to keep the hair longer, refuse to let him dye the grays from his chin. He was stunning in every way, eye crinkles and all.

No stranger to his beauty, Y/N had no trouble ever looking at her man, but there was something extra in that hair swipe. There was just something about it that drew her attention, blocking out the world around them. Something so intimate in the way his fingers slid through his hair that made her heart race and her breathing slow. She wanted his hands on her body, wanted those fingers sliding through something even more luxurious and warm.

The party was loud. Someone was strumming a guitar off in a corner, and friends were chattering around her, but Y/N was lost to it all. She existed in a soft, pink bubble of arousal, the feeling growing stronger the longer she kept her eyes on him.

Jensen could feel her staring and looked up with a shy grin. “What?” he mouthed, eyes narrowing in curiosity.

Y/N bit her lip and cocked a brow. She lifted her glass to her lips and sought out the tiny plastic straw without looking. “I want you,” she replied silently, accentuating the pucker of her lips and closing them around the straw. She took a sip and the vodka and lime mixed on her tongue.

Jensen licked his lips and looked down at his lap. He had a way of making himself seem so small and vulnerable while drawing her in deeper. He lifted his eyes and looked at her through a curtain of hair.

She took a deep breath as the racing pulse settled between her thighs.

He lifted his right hand and her eyes went wide.

He pushed his fingers through his hair and her composure snapped.

He barely knew what was happening as she rushed across the room. The dregs of her drink sloshed from the glass and dampened his knee, but she covered it up quickly as she straddled his lap.

“What’re you do-”

She swallowed his words with a heavy kiss and rolled her hips over his dick. Her free hand tugged through his hair and pulled, making him moan deeply into her mouth.

“Fuck…”

When she pulled back, his eyes were glazed and his lips were full, shining from her kiss.

“You’re making me crazy,” she whispered, leaning to lick at his ear. “Playing with your hair all night like you’re not begging me to pull it.”

Jensen sucked in a private hiss and set his hands on her hips.

If anyone was watching, they’d see how his fingers tensed there, wanting to reach further down and grab her ass, tug her closer, and rut up into her. But, they stayed put, locked around the soft curve of her waist.

“Dunno what you’re talking about,” he lied, turning circles with his thumbs underneath her shirt.

The secret touch made her skin sizzle and she yanked on his locks once more.

Jensen bucked his hips unconsciously and cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah. Um-”

Y/N smirked against his ear. “Wanna find an empty room?”

He shivered and his grip tightened. “Fuck yes, I do…”

2024 Forever Tags (Always Open! Send an Ask!)

@akshi8278 @babysimpala @beardburnsupersoldiers @chenshemesh1 @cosicas-cuquis @deans-baby-momma @deanwinchesterswitch @feelmyroarrrr @foxyjwls007 @hobby27 @impalaspixie @jackles010378 @kazsrm67 @k-slla @leigh70 @lyarr24 @nancymcl @peachy-vans @pizzagirlxnsfwx @rachiem4-blog @sexyvixen7 @the-wounded-healer05 @suckitands33

#jensen ackles fanfiction #ejensen x reader #jensen ackles x reader #drabble #tell me about

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casdeans-pie · 9 months

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Part 4 of Flustered Castiel Accidentally Explodes Lightbulbs And Causes Power Outages Especially When Dean's Fingers Are In His Hair

Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3.

Happy birthday to me! This is my birthday gift to myself so it's deliciously self indulgent for the final part. I honestly could have just kept going with this forever, I adore flustered!Cas and his angel powers lmao

This part got so big I couldn't put the whole chapter in the tumblr post sorry!

Taglist: @dreampencil , @mymisfitsbabe , @fivefeetfangirl , @kerryweaverlesbian , @give-bucky-his-boyfriend-back , @mooshroomister , @castielsbloodynose , @the-great-pumpkin-67 , @casavanse , @homoangel - thanks all for your interest, hope you like the conclusion!!

-----Read on AO3-----

---------

If stubbornness was a sin, Dean knew he would be going straight to hell when he died. Again.

There were a million reasons that Dean could think of for why Cas had distanced himself (that buzzed around his brain like insistent bees whenever he lay down to sleep at night) but if they didn’t talk about them then none of them were real. The ache in his chest at Cas’s absence, familiar from when he used to leave them for stretches at a time, felt like it dug in deeper and deeper with every passing day – but he still just couldn’t bring himself to talk to him about it.

The biggest surprise became the slow realisation that the saying ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ wasn’t just some made up cliché bullshit that people said to each other, because seeing Cas, even briefly before he scurried away, made Dean’s heart sing like a lovesick teenage girl.

Sam only suffered through so much before he started using his Sad-Sam-Eyes whenever he saw them both, hoping they would finally sort out whatever was going on between them, but he didn’t mention it otherwise. Somehow that made it even worse. If Sam told them to talk to each other, at least that could have been a good excuse. But no.

Dean had to do something on his own.

He had to.

He’d started all of this by being a jerk about Cas’s powers, so it was time to dip into that Dean Winchester Courage, have a real conversation about all of this, and face losing his best friend – the Angel that he loved – head on.

------

Then they finally had a hunt together. Alone.

Dean’s bloody machete hung in a loose grip by his side as he kicked the toe of his boot at the decapitated body on the ground beside him. The head lay nearby.

“Think we finally got ‘em all,” Dean said with a grin. His clothes were covered in splashes of blood, and he could feel some drying on his cheek that he was itching to scratch off with his nail. “I love a good vamp nest clear-out, but if I’d have known there were gonna be this many, I would’ve brought Sam as extra back-up.” Dean didn’t want to mention that the reason he’d told Sam to stay behind in the first place was because he’d finally stopped being chickenshit scared about sorting this thing out with Cas. “Not that we didn’t handle it.” He gestured towards the headless bodies scattered around them with his machete.

Cas didn’t reply. He’d been quiet in the ride over and had kept his distance for the whole fight.

Okay. Time’s up. Time to do this. Dean took a deep breath through his nose and closed his eyes. “Cas, listen-”

“Dean!” Cas yelled, slamming into him just as the sound of a gunshot exploded nearby.

Dean went hurtling down as another gunshot rang out. He landed heavily – the floor winded him and disorientated him enough that he couldn’t get straight back up, and he shook his head rapidly to try to clear it.

There were sounds of Cas wrestling with the vampire nearby. Dean watched dazedly as the vampire snarled and bared his fangs as he threw a punch at Cas’s nose, and his fist connected with a thud. But that gave Cas the opportunity to wrench the gun out of the vampire’s weakened grasp, and he tossed it aside, making it skitter harmlessly across the floor into a dark corner of the warehouse.

Red bloomed through the top of Cas’s trench coat on his left shoulder.

“Cas!” Dean warned, finally scrambling to his feet just as the vampire grabbed Cas and threw him down with a hiss onto the dusty, blood-spattered floor.

The vampire loomed over him with an open mouth full of needle-sharp teeth just as Cas sat up with a grunt and threw up his hand with his palm out. Dean recognised the gesture, and he immediately braced himself for the blinding light of Cas’s angelic smitey powers, but only a faint sputtering glow emerged from his hand.

After a moment, where Cas stared at his hand in confusion, the vampire hissed and lunged.

He never got any further.

Dean’s machete swung in a clean shining arc through the vampire’s neck, and he collapsed in a heap like a puppet with cut strings. The spray of blood caught Cas, smattering his face and hair with even more crimson alongside what currently trickled out of his nose and soaked his shoulder.

Dean groaned in relief and threw the machete to the concrete floor with a clang. “Definitely the last one,” he declared with a deep breath. “Damn that got close for a second there. Come on, up you get.” Dean offered out a hand to help Cas, but he pushed himself up with a groan instead, pointedly not looking at the hand as if he hadn’t noticed it.

Dean tried to shrug it off again, just like he had all the other times that Cas refused to touch him recently, but he could feel the hurt burning in his throat and behind his eyes. He clenched his fist so tightly it almost hurt as he returned it to his side.

“You okay?” Dean asked instead with a frown, thinking of the gunshots, and noticing the blood stain on Cas’s shoulder increasing in size.

“Yes. The first bullet got me, but the second bullet missed. I think it went clean through. Didn’t hit anything vital.” Cas touched his shoulder and winced, then observed Dean – his blue eyes raking him up and down from head to foot. “What about you? Are you hurt?”

Dean shook his head, the mixture of hurt and concern and happiness at the closest attention he’d got from Cas in weeks making his words come out harsher than he intended when he snapped, “Nope. My bullet-proof friend pushed me out of the way, and then revealed that he’s not so bullet-proof today.”

Cas smiled ruefully. “Ah. Yes. Looks that way.” He dusted his trench coat off as best he could and lifted an arm to wipe his sleeve across his nose – though he only succeeded in smearing the dust and blood around. He closed his eyes and rubbed again.

Dean pushed down his confusing cocktail of emotions, like he always did, and forced on a smile. “You’re just making it worse, buddy. Why’s killing vamps always such a bloody job?” He reached over without thinking, while Cas was still rubbing at his nose. “Nose doesn’t look broken at least, but your shoulder’s probably gonna need stitches while you’re low on power like this.”

Dean’s fingers had barely even grazed the fabric on Cas’s shoulder before Cas flinched back violently.

The lights in the warehouse groaned and buzzed as they flickered and dimmed, and then just as quickly returned to normal.

Cas’s eyes were wide as he took another step back.

Dean felt all his confusion sharpen into a frustrated stab of white-hot anger. He gestured violently at the ceiling. “Okay. Y’know what. That’s it. Let’s talk. What the hell is going on with you, Cas? Why have you been avoiding me? What’s the deal with the lights?”

“It’s nothing.”

“Doesn’t look like nothing.”

“Nothing you need to know about.”

“Nothing I- are you even hearing yourself right now? You’re really gonna admit to keeping secrets again after everything we’ve been through? And- hey, what’s up with your face? What are you doing?”

Cas had screwed his eyes together so tight that it pinched his whole expression. “Concentrating.”

“On what? This conversation that you’re trying not to be in?”

“On using my Grace to heal my shoulder and clean all of this off, but it’s not…” Cas gritted his teeth and opened his eyes. They glowed faintly. “It’s not working.”

Dean took a deep breath and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “Shit, Cas. You know you’re low on power right now, you really want to use up what little juice you got left before you get chance to recharge? The motel’s only twenty minutes away.” He scowled. “You can even sit in the back. Far away from me, like you want.”

Dean didn’t wait for a response, he turned, reached down for his abandoned machete, and stalked back to Baby.

By the time Cas finally got into the car – in the back – Dean had already texted Sam to tell him that the nest had been cleared out and they would be spending the night at the motel.

They’d be back at the bunker tomorrow, and then Cas could keep avoiding him like before. Or maybe he’d finally just admit that he wanted to leave… and he’d go. The thought made Dean clench the steering wheel with a grip that made his knuckles white.

He couldn’t imagine his life without Cas in it.

The ride to the motel was tense and silent except for Baby’s engine that Dean pushed harder than he should. (The twenty-minute ride only took them ten. Cas didn’t comment on it.)

As soon as they were through the door Dean toed off his shoes, flicked on all the lights, and went to wash his hands in the bathroom. He didn’t look back to see what Cas was doing. It was none of his business. If he didn’t want to talk about it, then what did he care. (He tried to tell himself, even as the ache in his chest pounded and felt cavernous.)

Dean splashed some water on his face and gripped the sides of the grubby sink. Water plinked pink from his chin into the chipped basin, as the vampire blood washed away down the plughole.

After a deep breath Dean grabbed a towel and rubbed it over his face, careful not to inhale at the same time – he’d learned a long time ago that it was best not to know what motel towels smelt like – and reached for the first aid kit he always left in the bathroom when they went on hunts.

Sufficiently calmed down, and feeling less like his heart was caught in the vice grip of a homicidal ghost, Dean turned and emerged back into the main room. He froze mid-step at what he saw: Cas had his head in his hands, perched on the edge of his bed, while the blood stains from his bullet wound were soaking through his coat down his arm. He hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees, and there seemed to be a particularly troubled tenseness to the set of his shoulders. Even more than usual. Despite their strained relationship recently, it cut Dean deeply to see him like that – so clearly suffering and so human.

Dean sat heavily onto his own bed opposite Cas. The old springs creaked loudly and protested at the sudden weight. “Alright. Coat off.”

Cas startled and snapped his head up. The lamp beside his bed flickered weakly. “What?”

Dean’s usual enthusiasm for the phenomenon of the flickering lights wasn’t his priority this time, and he pushed his curiosity aside. “Stitches,” Dean said simply, brandishing the first aid kit.

“I don’t need them,” Cas grumbled, looking away. “Once my Grace has recharged enough it will heal on its own.”

“Oh okay, so you’re just going to wait and see if your mojo recharges faster than you bleed? And you’re, what, expecting me to just sit here while we find out? Because I am not okay with that.”

“Yes.”

“Cas. Just let me put some damn stitches in your damn shoulder.”

“No.” The muscles in Cas’s jawline clenched.

Dean scowled as he ran a hand through his hair. It was sticky and matted with drying blood, but that was nothing new. “Let me put it this way. You either take off your coat and shirt willingly, or I will tackle you to that bed and remove them myself” – the lamp flickered again – “so help me God, don’t think that I won’t. Your choice.” Dean had his eyes locked on Cas’s narrowed ones. “I will not let you suffer when I can do something about it. Yeah, you might heal it up yourself in an hour or two, but I’m not going to sit here watching you bleeding and in pain, when I can help. Don’t ask me to.”

“Dean… This is just… It’s a bad idea.”

“A bad idea? To stop you from bleeding out? C’mon man, you’re always healing me up after hunts, let me repay the favor for once. Besides, you took the shot meant for me – it should be me sitting there with the bullet hole.”

Cas went suddenly pale, and his eyebrows drew together in a serious line. “If it were, I would use up whatever Grace I had left to heal you.”

Oh.

Dean blinked in surprise.

Huh. But Cas had been avoiding him so much lately... He’d assumed he didn’t care anymore. “Uh,” Dean faltered, “no, that wouldn’t be okay either. I wouldn’t want that. But maybe I should teach you some basic first aid now that your mojo gets patchy sometimes.” He shook his head. That would require them to be in the same room for more than five minutes. Stupid suggestion. “Look, if you’d want to heal me that badly if we were swapped over here, that’s what I want to do to you right now, get it?”

“I um. I think so.” The line between Cas’s eyebrows grew deeper. “It’s fine now anyway. It barely hurts,” he lied, gripping his shoulder tightly.

“Sure. Okay, Black Knight.”

Cas squinted.

“The Black Knight – ‘‘tis but a flesh wound’? Guess you didn’t get Monty Python in the pop-culture upload. We’ll add it to the list we-” But Dean remembered that they didn’t watch movies together anymore. “Doesn’t matter. Just take your damn coat off, you stubborn son of a bitch.”

That finally cracked a smile onto Cas’s pale face. His lips twitched and the corners of his eyes crinkled endearingly.

Dean felt a strong flare of affection at seeing Cas’s smile, after seeing him looking so defeated before, that it immediately softened all of Dean’s concern-masked-as-irritation and he found himself smiling back. He’d missed this. So damn much.

“I’ll patch you up,” Dean said gently, “then you get dibs on the first shower, since you’re the one covered in the most blood. Winchester tradition.”

“I don’t need-”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, you can just magic your mess away when your power’s back on, but you’re really just gonna sit here like that until then?”

Cas looked down at himself. “You have a point.”

“Always do. Looks like you’ll just have to enjoy shitty motel water pressure like the rest of us.” Dean wiggled his eyebrows. “And going first means you get the hottest water.”

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas said.

“Then we can both go to sleep so you can recharge your batteries. You can sleep when you’re like this, right? But stitches first. After that there’ll be no touching involved,” Dean added, before he could stop himself. As much as he enjoyed talking to Cas again, it only served as a depressing reminder that they weren’t like this anymore. He gave a sad, weak little laugh, and even he could hear the pain in his voice when he said, “Y’don’t even have to look at me.”

Cas immediately slid off his bed with a rustle, and he was on his knees in front of Dean in the time it took for him to open his mouth to ask what was happening. His eyes shined wetly in the dingy motel room lighting as he gazed up intensely – vulnerable and raw – into Dean’s eyes. “Dean, no. This wasn’t supposed to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you,” Cas said in a voice thick with emotion. “Doing this – distancing myself… It was supposed to make things better, but it… only made everything worse. I hate being apart from you. I hate it. This wasn’t- it’s not- it’s not your fault.” He spoke haltingly, like he was struggling. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry. I- I don’t know how to explain-”

They were closer than they had been in weeks, and yet Dean could still feel the distance. His heart sunk. “This is starting to feel a whole lot like the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech, man.”

Cas scrunched his face up, and Dean knew he was trying to think of a way to say what he meant. He wondered if Angels weren’t very big talkers in their true forms. It was reminiscent of when they first met, and how Cas used to struggle with sarcasm and slang.

Cas already told him once that he’d only started to feel real, strong emotions (Dean called them his Real Boy Feelings) since rescuing him from Hell, so it made sense that he still struggled sometimes. And anyway, Dean had been human his whole life and it wasn’t like he was much better at the whole sharing your feelings crap.

Cas finally looked up through his lashes at him – his expression wary. “Hold out your hand, Dean.”

“What?”

“Hold out your hand, please. I can show you what’s been going on.”

---- Read the rest on AO3 ----

#this series has been so much fun to write!!! thanks for all the kind comments!!!#destiel #destiel fanfiction #destiel ficlet #deancas #castiel's angel powers #flustered!castiel #pie's projects #my fanfiction

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princessmisery666 · 1 year

Text

Part-time Soulmate

Summary: The lure is stronger than the certainty of heartbreak.

Warnings/Genres etc.: Angst.

W/C:500

Pairing: Dean Winchester x unnamed female.

Prompt: @justagirlinafandomworld 's Unclaimed Love Songs - Cowboys & Angels by Dustin Lynch

A/N: Lots of other songs helped the muses with this one but mainly Hold Me Like a Grudge by Fall Out Boy.

Betas: @deanwinchesterswitch

Master Lists: Main // Dean Winchester

The world was spinning faster and faster, and Dean couldn’t keep up. He painted on an ear-to-ear smile and tried not to blink. He felt nothing and everything. He didn’t want to think, not tonight. Instead, he drove, pedal to the metal, reveling in Baby’s growling engine and waiting for the night to turn off his mind. Passing cars and crowded bars, but not stopping until he pulled up at her door.

Dean had vices, hard liquor, easy women, and a loud throaty engine. But he’d never been an addict. Not until he met her. She made going back to her as easy as breathing. But that was the thing, he needed to breathe, and she was his own brand of oxygen. He’d had a taste, let her in, and she’d consumed him. He struggled to find the high with anyone else. Like the nicotine in a cigarette, she ran through his veins, and he wanted to overdose.

It was late. Too late to be showing up without calling first, but she answered his knock with sleepy eyes and messy hair. She didn’t say his name or ask if he were okay, only widened the door, inviting him in.

He crossed the threshold, slipping his arms around her waist, burying his head in her neck, drowning in her warmth. Her hand stroked the back of his head, nails gently scraping through the coarse hairs at the base of his neck. Each sweep a silent vow; ‘I’m here. It’s okay. I’ll help you breathe. I’ll make you believe it’s all a dream.’

Tender kisses placed on his throat from sweet lips dissolved the ache of sore, stiff muscles from the long, breakless drive like sugar in water.

He felt like he’d been on the run his whole life, never wanting commitment, but she caught him by surprise, and before he knew it, he’d lost himself to her. Assuming he’d be alone forever, but damn if she hadn’t made him think he was wrong. It was that kind of adrenaline he couldn’t leave behind.

Her touch always said more than words ever could. She smoothed her hands over his shoulders, under his jacket, and pushed it down his arms. ‘Stay a while.’

Pulling back to look into her eyes, he answered with a pleading request, “Turn down the noise.” But what he meant was ‘make me forget’.

“I got you, baby,” she promised.

It was more than her body that turned him on, and to be in her arms was enough. But like any high, it was more than wanting her for a night. He wanted her forever. She was a light, and he wanted to be her shadow.

Unfortunately, he knew better. She was sweet, he was wild, and together they were dangerous, so for that reason, he wouldn’t let the secret out - wouldn’t surrender his heart. Tonight he’d exist in the luminous serenity she enveloped him in and pretend he could live there.

Pretend she wasn’t a part-time soulmate and a full-time problem.

Part 2 - Love-Blind Haze

Tag Info - or follow my library blog and turn on notifications. @princessmisery666-library for my fics only.

Super Supernatural: @alexxavicry / @b3autyfuldisast3r / @deanwinchesterswitch / @fandom-princess-forevermore / @foxyjwls007 / @jc-winchester / @justagirlinafandomworld / @leigh70 / @letsbys-library / @mrswhozeewhatsis / @nancymcl / @shanimallina87 / @stoneyggirl2 / @waywardbaby / @wildbornsiren / @writercole

Driving Baby, Whiskey & Leather: @deandreamernp / @katbratsupernaturalwhore / @lyarr24

#Dean Winchester #Dean Winchester x female reader #supernatural fanfic #song fic #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural #dean winchester #spn #angst #dean winchester angst #cowboys and angels #dustin lynch #music fic #unclaimed love songs

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luci-in-trenchcoats · 1 year

Text

Since I’ve Been Loving You

Summary: A few months after helping the reader get out of an abusive relationship, Dean and she are ready to shift their relationship to more than being just friends. But when Dean goes missing and the reader is forced to leave him in a moment of need to get help, it’ll send them down a path exploring Dean’s past neither one of them could have seen coming...

Pairing: Cop!Dean x Cop!reader

Word Count: 18,000ish

Warnings: language, kidnapping, injuries, past abusive partner, murder, whole lot of creepiness

A/N: Hi there! If the title and first few scenes of this story seem familiar, you’re not wrong! I originally wrote this story way back in 2017 and at the time felt it was too “dark” to share, hence why I only used the first bit as part of a collab experiment (which can be found here). However it’s been awhile and I’m a lot more confident with what I share (and to be honest, I’ve put out worse stuff than this). Rather than letting it sit in my drafts forever, I’ve decided to share the original story I wrote myself! Enjoy! Also shoutout to @campingmonkey for reading some of my stuff I considered not fit for posting and encouraging me to put it out there!

_______

“I’m home,” you said, smelling something tasty from the kitchen. You kicked off your boots and wandered into into the back of the house where Dean was stirring a pot, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders. “Dude, you’re not on dinner duty tonight.”

“How was work?” asked Dean, stifling a sniffle as he spun around a ladle in the stew he’d put on.

“Fine. You’re supposed to be resting Winchester,” you said, bumping him to go sit down. “I told you last night-”

“I’m relieved of my chores this week, I know,” he said, pulling the blanket tighter. “I’m lucky I’ve got such a nice roommate.”

“You’re the one that let me stay here after Redge,” you said. “I really should be making you dinner every night after everything.”

“No, that’s not how it works around here. We’re a team and besides, you’re awful at washing the cars,” he said, a tired smirk on his face. “How was work?”

“Redge was an ass but he’s always been that way. You get some sleep today? Go to the doctor like I told you?” you asked, Dean rolling his eyes at you. You crossed your arms and huffed. “Go tomorrow. I don’t want to have to drive you to a hospital over the weekend.”

“It’s a cold, Y/N,” he said. You dished up a bowl for him and yourself, not expecting him to eat much but he was still grumpy when you sat across from him. “I’m fine.”

“Alright, don’t bite my head off because I care about you,” you said, standing and grabbing him a glass of water. “Need anything?”

“No. Thanks,” he said, starting to pick at his food. You ate in silence apart from Dean coughing or sneezing a few times. He shifted in his seat more than once and you knew he was going to ask about work again. “You okay, Y/N? You’re never this quiet during dinner.”

“I got partnered with Redge today. I wasn’t a fan,” you said, playing with a carrot to avoid seeing Dean’s face. “I got used to working with you and being around Redge all day like that again with you not there just…I don’t know. I told chief I want to work with someone different tomorrow.”

“He still thinks you and Redge just had a bad break up, huh?” asked Dean. “It’s not like you tried to tell them about what he used to do when no one was around or anything. Although I guess it would look pretty bad to have the chief arrest one of his own.”

“Like I said, I owe you for getting me out of that,” you said, Dean shaking his head. “Still not biting on that offer yet?”

“You’re happy and safe, that’s all I could ever want from you,” said Dean, putting his spoon down, about half of his bowl left.

“You want to go up to bed or watch some TV with me for a while?” you asked, Dean nodding towards the family room. You cleaned up and shook off his offers to help, coming into the living room to find him curled up on the couch, his blanket still all around him.

“How you holding up?” you asked, taking a spot at the end of the couch, throwing your feet up on the ottoman. You put a pillow down so Dean could rest his head against your leg comfortably in case he decided to go to sleep. You put a hand on his forehead and saw him curl into the touch.

“S’just a cold,” he said, turning on the TV. You ran your fingers through his hair, knowing on the rare occasion Dean was up for a cuddle, he liked to have it played with. But even in those moments where he let his walls down all the way, he didn’t talk about certain things. He barely spoke of when he was little. You knew his parents got divorced when he wasn’t very old and that he felt like it was his fault just from the way he talked but that’s who Dean was. A hard man that could be softer and sweeter than any you’d ever met.

“I think I’m ready,” you said, Dean humming before turning his head up to yours.

“Ready for what?” he asked, giving you a sleepy smile.

“It’s been almost four months since I left Redge. You got me back to normal again, feeling safe and strong and like I have a home here with my friend. But I’m ready to try something new if you get what I’m saying,” you said, Dean’s face turning sad.

“You want to move out? Did I do something wrong?” he asked. You shook your head and gave him a smile. “Was it because I told you I liked you back-”

“Dean, I like you too is what I’m trying to say. As in, I’m ready to try dating again…try dating you,” you said, ruffling his head. “We’ve been flirting for weeks. Want to actually give this a go?”

“Why would you ever want to date me?” he asked. God, he could be thick-headed sometimes.

“I like your sense of humor, your kindness, the way you help people. You got some comfy flannels too,” you said, Dean’s face softening. “I like you Dean.”

“Want to go on a date when I’m feeling better?” he asked. You nodded and bent down to give him a kiss on the cheek, Dean pushing you away. “I don’t want you to get sick too.”

“It’s just a cold I’ve been told,” you said, Dean laughing before pulling one of his arms free of his blanket and reaching over to hold yours. “I love when you’re all cuddly.”

“As your new boyfriend I’m going to start getting very cuddly,” he teased, letting out a big stretch and a yawn. “On second thought…”

“Bedtime?” you asked, helping him up. “You need anything come get me. I’ll be quiet and let you sleep in. There’s leftover stew in the fridge but I’ll come home at lunch and make you something to eat.”

“I’m a grown man, I can make myself lunch,” he said, standing up as you grabbed his blanket for him. “I should really go to work.”

“You’ve got a ton of sick time built up. Take the day off and recover,” you said, patting him on the back as you got him upstairs.

“Night,” he said once you got him tucked into bed.

“Night Dean. See you at lunch.”

“Dean, I’m home,” you said, tossing your keys on the front table, expecting to find him in front of the TV but instead he was nowhere in sight. “Dean, I got hot soup and fresh bread from that place with the pies.”

The house was quiet and you sat the food down on the table, hoping he was passed out in bed. When you got up there the sheets were messy but his blanket was still there which struck you as odd. He hadn’t gone anywhere without it for two days, almost childlike with the way he carried it around.

His phone was near the bed and it wasn’t until you’d wandered around the house twice before you called Sam.

“Is Dean with you?” you asked, hoping for some odd reason Sam decided to drop by town this week and hang out with his brother.

“Hey, Y/N. No, I haven’t heard from Dean since the beginning of the week. What’s up?” he asked.

“Nothing, he’s just not home. He’s been sick and I thought maybe you took him to the doctor since Baby’s still here. Maybe he got a ride from someone else,” you said, stuffing lunch in the fridge and heading back outside.

“He didn’t leave a note? That’s not like him,” said Sam, his voice concerned now.

“Yeah. He probably got a neighbor or something to do it,” you said, Sam obviously hearing the worry in your own.

“Give me a call when you find him,” he said. “I’d appreciate it.”

“Will do Sammy,” you said, hanging up.

When the sun was starting to set though as you were leaving the station hours and hours later, you were starting to go out of your mind that no one had seen or heard from Dean since you checked on him before going to work. Your one thought was it had to have been Redge. Who else but your ex would want to screw over the guy that gave you the courage to leave in the first place?

So that’s when you started to think like him, think of the places Redge used to take the two of you, when things got too messy for home. It was another hour before you were parking your car and slipping out of it, a backpack on your shoulders and the satellite phone you’d stolen from Dean’s camping gear in your coat pocket.

It was dark and the terrain was a bit dangerous and it had decided to storm out, making it almost impossible to see. You went in the woods a short ways on the path before veering off, heading west and deciding you weren’t stopping until you were forced to. After an hour you saw the abandoned ranger’s station and broke inside, taking a short reprieve from the weather. You were gazing at a map when you nearly slipped, the floor wet from your boots but you spotted a patch of dried blood on the ground that made your stomach churn. You looked back at a map and saw that there were a pair of mines about five miles out.

“Please tell me I’m overreacting,” you said, heading back out, eventually coming across the boarded up mine, a plank missing that was big enough to get even Dean and Redge through. “Overreacting is all. Just overreacting.”

You aimed your flashlight inside and saw nothing at first glance, then a pair of ruts in the ground where someone had been dragged. You shuddered and followed it down the mine, eventually turning right and left, your flashlight falling on a bare foot and then up to the slouched over man it belonged to.

“Dean,” you said, rushing over, shoving against him as you spotted the dried blood on his stomach, the dark patch and belt around his leg. A flannel that wasn’t his was balled up against it, his own shirt held in place over his bare stomach by his crossed arms. He didn’t even look alive. “Dean,” you said shaking him again, his skin sweaty and icy cold. “Dean.”

You heard a faint grumble that was music to your ears as you shook him again, getting a louder one this time.

“Back for more?” he asked, fluttering open his eyes, watching them go wide at the sight of you. “What are you…”

“I’m going to get you out of here, okay? Then I’m going to kick Redge’s ass,” you said, figuring out what he needed first.

“Wasn’t him. Bad guy,” mumbled Dean with a sniffle, trying to go back to sleep.

“No, you got to stay awake babe,” you said, grabbing your water from your pack and lifting it to his lips, Dean sucking it down fast. You tossed a space blanket you had over him and he looked like he wanted to cry. You put a hand on his forehead and it was burning up. “Shit, you’re worse.”

“S’just a cold,” he said, getting some sense back. “You got to go. Go away before he comes back.”

“Redge can’t hurt you anymore, Dean, I’m going to-”

“Not Redge, someone else,” said Dean with a shudder. “You think I’d be fucking scared of that pile of crap?”

“Dean what’s…” you said, Dean nodding his head and shoving the bottle and blanket back in your bag. “Dean, no.”

“He’s coming back,” whispered Dean. “Go hide and then get out. Don’t come back.”

“Dean,” you said, his hands using most of his strength to give you a light shove.

“Please, do what I said,” said Dean quietly, your bag shoved in your arms as you spotted a flashlight down a different tunnel. “Please.”

It hurt to leave him but the look on Dean’s face made you do as asked. You took off and hid around a different corner a ways down, listening as footsteps walked towards Dean and stopped.

“Screw you,” you heard Dean say before he started to mumble and then take a big choking gasp of air. “What’d you just give me?”

“Medicine. You’re welcome,” said the voice, definitely not Redge and not one you recognized. “You going to behave this time?”

“Give me back my gun and we’ll-” Dean said before it sounded like something smacked him in the face.

“I stitched you up and everything. Couldn’t have let my new toy bleed out,” said the person, a man, his voice deep and harsh.

“I am not your new toy,” said Dean, spitting blood out of his mouth from the sound of it and coughing up a storm before breathing raggedly.

“No, you’re right. You’re my old one, aren’t you Dean?” said the man, Dean hissing as you tried to make out what he was doing. “Took a long time to find you, boy. Too bad Daddy’s not around anymore to come and save you.”

“Well I’m flattered but why don’t-” said Dean before you heard his head hit against the rough wall, a tiny whimper of pain coming out of Dean.

“Just as mouthy as you were back then. You don’t even remember me,” said the man.

“No but my dad sure as hell told me what happened when I was old enough. You took me right off the front porch, psycho,” said Dean. “You’re the reason they-”

“Your mom had a nice right hook,” the man said, Dean sucking in a gasp as he grunted. “Too bad she ain’t around anymore either. Been waiting a long time for this.”

“For what you freak?” asked Dean weakly, his mouth mumbling again as he huffed.

“It’s duct tape you big baby,” he said, Dean grunting more now as you heard him struggle, breathing in hard. “God, you’re going to take some breaking in.”

Whatever was going on, you knew that you needed backup and that you’d beat yourself up about not bringing your gun with you later. You got out of there as quietly as you could and radio’d the station, keeping an eye on the entrance as you hid. But neither one of them ever came out.

You stayed there for another hour or so, the rest of the station showing up finally, the chief waving you over to talk when they came out of the mine empty handed.

“What-”

“The mine is empty. There’s multiple ways in there. You’re sure this guy knows Dean from when he was a kid? There’s no report of anything ever happening to him,” said the chief.

“Wouldn’t be surprised if they made the whole thing up just to screw with me some more,” said Redge.

“For fucks sake, Redge, I just want you to not be an abusive dick, not go to jail for shooting and kidnapping my boyfriend,” you said, puffing out your chest. “So they’re gone? Dean’s just gone and we have no idea where he is? He’s hurt and sick and-”

“How did you find him?” asked the chief. “This isn’t exactly my first thought for a search.”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe Redge would like to share how I know about secluded places where people can hurt other people?” you said, crossing your arms at him.

“If she thought…I took Dean she would have gone to the old ranger’s station,” said Redge, kicking his boot on the ground. “Probably saw a map and figured if he wasn’t there he had a shot at being in the mines.”

“You two need to work on whatever issues you’ve got,” said the chief, giving you a hard glare.

“Can we focus on Dean? They can’t have gone far right?” you asked.

“Let’s hope not.”

“Coffee?” asked Redge, poking his head into the conference room you were using as a base in your search for Dean. You shook your head, holding up your cup. “How’s it going today?”

“Redge, don’t pretend to play nice,” you said, looking back over your shoulder. “We both know you don’t give two shits about Dean.”

“He’s a cop. We got each other’s backs and all that...whatever,” he said with a shrug, trying to take a step in the room before catching your glare. “You too, I mean if you ever need a friend, shoulder to cry on you can always-”

“He’s only been missing two weeks and you already think I’m just going to come crawling into your arms? Get lost,” you said. “You aren’t even working this case.”

“Okay, I’ll just go do my job and Dean’s then,” he said, slapping the door frame hard on the way out.

Another week went by of nothing and then another and another. After missing for two months and Sam coming to stay with you to help out, the case officially went cold.

Another month and Sam had to leave town a few days, tidy up some things at home before officially making the move there but he swore he’d be back as soon as he could.

The chief told you to take a few days off and give yourself a break. You took the excuse with Sam gone to get out of town yourself, drive and drive until you were exhausted and crashing at some cheap motel a few states over. You’d spent the day in a bar and your head in a bottle and tried to forget about how he had saved you way back when and you couldn’t do it back.

“Another one,” you heard a guy farther down the bar say, your head whipping up. You didn’t stare as you heard him flirt with the bartender. He sounded like the man from the mines but you were drunk and couldn’t be positive. Still though, you jotted down his license plate when he finally left and got a cab back to your room. When you’d sobered up enough in your motel to figure out who it belonged to, you had a spark of an idea. The guy only had a few drunken misdemeanors but he owned a large lot of acreage with plenty of buildings on it.

The next morning you got up early and you threw on your boots and backpack, and headed out on the property. You checked every tiny ass shed, every big ass garage, every out building, every rusted old car until it was night and you were ready to curl up on the ground and go to sleep.

You only had a few more buildings though so you kept going, ready to hit the bottle of bourbon you took from Dean’s house the second you were in your room. It looked like every other shed you’d been in, pieces of junk and metal lying around. This one had a door hatch to a cellar like most of the others and the second you threw it open, you saw more of the same. You went down the steps, barely keeping your eyes open as you swung the flashlight around and your eyes went wide.

There was light down here and a sink and a tiny mattress and a whole slew of other crap that would have drawn your attention if not for the scruffy, green eyed man who was looking at you like you weren’t real.

“Dean?” you asked, watching him shake his head at you, your gaze finally looking over his body as you took in a sharp breath. “Dean it’s okay,” you said, pulling a knife out of your bag and walking over, his body backing up against the wall so fast as he sat down, giving you a hard glare. “I’m just going to cut you loose.”

“You’re a trick,” he said, looking around and you carefully took a step forward. “Don’t touch me.”

“I won’t touch you,” you said, holding up your hands. “But you want that cuff off your ankle? I have to come closer.”

“Give me the knife,” he said. You bent over and slid it to him, watching him grab hold of the thing tethering him to the back half of the room and cutting it free. He stood up and you smiled.

“Dean are you-Dean!” you yelled at him when he backed you up against the wall, holding the knife out, way too close for comfort.

“You’re drugging me again, aren’t you? This probably isn’t even real. Y/N would never be here. She just wouldn’t. You’re just making me think what I want again, aren’t you?” asked Dean, his face fuming under that beard as you tried to think of a way to calm him down. “You’re just-”

“I brought your shirt. The one you gave me that first day I moved in,” you said, slowing taking your pack off and handing it to him. He was only in the tee and pair of flannels you’d last seen him in, the clothes ratty and practically falling apart now. “The red and-”

“Black one,” said Dean quietly, giving you a long stare before backing up and ripping open the bag, the flannel right on top.

“It really helps when you’re feeling crappy,” you said, his hand holding the knife dropping it completely. He pulled the flannel out and you saw a flicker of relief on his face.

“Real?” he asked running his hand over it, looking at you and the open door behind you.

“You want to come home? We’re kind of overdue for our date,” you said, Dean giving you a head nod. He carefully put the flannel on as you pulled a pair of his sneakers out, glad you’d brought them on the off chance he didn’t have any footwear. You picked up the knife and stuffed your bag closed, Dean standing quietly in the middle of the room with his head down. “Dean?”

“What?” he asked, your hand taking hold of his, feeling so much rougher than you remembered.

“Come on,” you said, giving him a little tug so he took a step. He was okay for a minute until you got close to the stairs and you saw how pale he’d gotten, how nervous he was to walk farther than he’d been allowed to go for so long. “Nice romantic starlit walk,” you said, taking a step up, going one at a time with him as he looked around when you were in the shed.

“I don’t remember this,” he said. “I don’t remember after the mines until I woke up here.”

“We got a little walk to get to my car,” you said, stopping when the two of you stood outside and he looked up, taking a deep breath.

“Okay,” he said, spinning around happily before it all faded away. “Wait what time is it?”

“About 10, why?” you asked, hearing a truck off in the distance.

“We have to go,” said Dean, letting you take the lead as you tried to run, Dean a bit slower than you’d seen him before. “He drops off food at night.”

“It’s only a couple miles to the car,” you said, slowing to a jog so he could keep up, his hand shaking the whole damn time until you had him shoved in the passenger seat and you were driving away, calling the local cops. Dean was quiet apart from saying he was hungry and even after you swung through a drive thru fast for him, he was quiet, looking around like he didn’t quite believe everything.

By the time you’d gotten to the local hospital, a few officers were there to let you know they’d got the guy but Dean seemed more interested in arguing with the doctors.

“If he doesn’t calm down, we’re going to have to restrain him,” said the doctor, as you heard Dean yelling in his room.

“Dean,” you said, brushing inside past a group of bodies as Dean glanced around the room angrily. “Dean, none of these people are going to hurt you.”

“Tell that to the one that stabbed me with a needle,” said Dean, rubbing at his arm where his IV was and giving a nurse a glare.

“Dean. Check?” you asked, hoping he’d remember what that meant. You’d never done it on him and you honestly weren’t sure how he’d come up with the little daily check in’s after you left Redge but they’d always made you feel better that cared like that. He glanced around for a second and back down at himself in a hospital gown, all the marks on him proving life had been awful the past few months.

“Yellow,” he said quietly, willing himself to calm down. “Just tell them to stop poking me and touching me and…” he said as he looked around at the room full of people, rubbing his arms like he was trying to hold himself. “I’m sorry.”

“S’okay babe,” you said, holding his hand, nodding for the doctor to go back to whatever he was doing. Dean hissed a little when the doctor lifted up his arm.

“His shoulder is likely dislocated,” said the doctor to you. “Do you know if this is recent?”

“Dean?” you asked.

“Last week,” said Dean, ducking his head down. “I got in…trouble.”

“Let’s x-ray and see if we’ve got any nerve damage,” said the doctor to a nurse.

“Dean, you tell the doctor and nurses what they need to know. I promise nobody’s going to hurt you. I’ll be right here when you get back, okay?” you said, Dean nodding his head as he relaxed around the people trying to treat him.

“Alright,” he said, giving your hand a squeeze before you were forced to go. “Don’t go too far.”

It took them two days before they released him, a whole slew of nutritional issues not to mention everything they warned you about. Apparently Dean was prone to sudden, potentially violent, outbursts now and your history of abuse didn’t make for a great combination.

It was fine the first night back at home with Sam helping out until you dropped the syrup on the floor after putting some on Dean’s plate.

“What are you a klutz!” shouted Dean, waving his hands everywhere. “You don’t drop things, got it?”

“Dean,” said Sam, watching his brother carefully. “That’s Y/N. She’s not going to hurt you for not making your room spotless.”

“I used to get hurt,” said Dean glaring down at you as you wiped up the little bit that had actually spilled on the floor.

“So did Y/N. You got to let us help you,” said Sam, guilt washing over Dean’s face as he realized he’d snapped.

“I’m as bad as Redge,” said Dean, running a hand over his face before bending down to help clean up, even if you were finished.

“Check?” you asked Dean, his head shaking. “Check?”

“Orange,” he said, glancing at his lap.

“Why are you orange, Dean?” you asked, running a hand over his head, Dean seeming to be most responsive to soft touches like that lately.

“I yelled at you for no reason and what happened with me is no excuse for treating you like that,” he said.

“Okay,” you said, helping Dean sit up again back in his chair. “I want you to try something. Whenever you feel like getting mad, think about if it’s because you’re mad or if because it’s something you used to get in trouble with him for. If you want to get mad because I toss dishes in the sink and forget to put them in the dishwasher, get mad. If you want to get mad because my covers are crooked when I make my bed, maybe you aren’t really mad but you’re tired of being scared so it’s coming out that way instead. So if it’s the later and you’re scared, you just come find me or Sam and give us both a big hug okay?” you said. “We’ll give it right back until you’re not scared anymore.”

“Are you serious?” asked Dean, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t need a…what are you doing.”

“I’m giving you a hug,” you said, bending down and wrapping your arms around him. “You’re scared so it’s hug time.”

“This is a monumentally stupid idea,” said Dean, looking to Sam for help.

“I don’t think so,” said Sam, standing up and walking over to your side of the table. He bent over and gave Dean one too, the older Winchester groaning as he was trapped between the two of you.

“You two are annoying,” said Dean, letting his head lean against yours.

“Check?” you asked, Dean giving you a tiny smile.

“Yellow green,” said Dean, watching neither you or Sam pull away. “I don’t get out of this until I’m green, huh.”

“Now you’re getting it,” you said, kissing the top of his head. After a few minutes of you and Sam straining your backs you heard Dean chuckle that he was green.

“I guess you have a point,” said Dean, Sam ruffling the top of his head as he returned to his seat.

“You gave me lots of hugs when I first started staying with you,” you said to Dean. “Made me feel safe. I get what’s going on in your head, trust me.”

“Some random psychopath kidnapped you and you have no idea why too?” asked Dean, a teasing smile on his face. “I just want to know what he had planned.”

“You want to talk about it?” asked Sam, Dean shaking his head. “You focus on getting back to your old self and let the police figure out the rest. Y/N’ll probably take a crack at it and she’ll figure it out in a few hours I bet.”

“Months of nothing and when I snuck off to get drunk I got lucky Sam,” you said, Dean flinching a little in his seat. “I’m just glad work will get back to normal.”

“How was Redge?” asked Dean, his face looking very much like the old Dean. “Don’t tell me he’s tried anything or I swear…”

“Redge is more indifferent of Y/N than anything at this point,” said Sam. “She may have thought he took you at first. She’s scary when she’s pissed off.”

“I don’t like you near him all day, not after what he did to you,” said Dean. “I thought he was on a different shift than us anyways, only came in because I was sick a while back.”

“They were down an officer and I made sure he knew he was on a short leash,” you said, shoving the last of your dinner in your mouth. “A very short leash.”

“Remember when he was our biggest problem?” asked Dean, running a hand over his torso, his fingers tracing over a spot through his shirt. “Getting shot sucks.”

“Y/N, do you want to clean up and I’ll help Dean with a shower?” asked Sam, Dean’s face a mixture of embarrassment and content. “Oh come on, like I’ve never seen you without pants on.”

“Shower sounds good,” said Dean, parts of him still filthy where he didn’t get a good scrubbing at the hospital. “Then I want to pass out in an adult sized bed again.”

Sam helped Dean up but let him walk on his own, the two of them up in Dean’s bathroom for awhile until you heard the water turn off and Sam shouted for you to come in. Dean was sitting on his bed in a tee and boxers, looking pretty tired but his eyes had a spark back in them.

“How’d we do?” asked Sam, ruffling a towel in Dean’s hair, getting a laugh out of his brother. “We can’t do anything about him being horrendous unfortunately.”

“Oh shut up,” said Dean, pushing Sam away with a smile. It got even bigger when he saw what you were holding, his blanket he’d been using before he was taken.

“Alright, get in,” you said, Dean shifting around so he was under the covers, Sam helping you spread the blanket out over top of him. “Do you need anything…and he fell asleep already.”

“Huh,” said Sam, Dean passed out the second his head hit the pillow. “He wasn’t joking about wanting a real bed again.”

“Should we stay?” you asked, Sam shrugging. “The doc said we shouldn’t coddle him.”

“He was cracking jokes in the shower,” said Sam. “You’re his girlfriend though so I’m sure you can-”

“Sam, we dated for all of four hours before this happened. We’ve never even been on a date,” you said. “You stay. I got to go check out a few things.”

“Y/N, it’s late, where-”

“I want to know what that guy was up to,” you said, walking out. “I’ll be downstairs. I promise I’ll come up in a couple of hours.”

“Y/N, he’s home and safe again. Take the night off,” said Sam, that slightly older brother tone coming out. “You need rest too.”

“You didn’t see him in that basement, Sam, or the mines. I want Dean to know this guy is never coming near him ever again,” you said. “I’ll log on quick and see what the prelim file says. Then I’ll be back, I promise.”

“Fine,” said Sam, taking a seat in a soft chair in the room and kicking his feet up on the bed, shutting his eyes.

“Thanks for everything,” you said, Sam keeping his eyes closed but giving you a smile.

“Family doesn’t have to thank each other,” said Sam, nestling down into his chair. “Don’t work too long.”

“I won’t,” you said, heading downstairs to the office, figuring it’d take you five minutes tops to read over the early report. You were logging in when you heard a car out front and saw the blue and red lights through the window. You growled and stormed to the door before they had a chance to ruin Dean’s sleep. Art and Charlie were giving you careful stares as you squinted at them on the front path. “What do you guys want?”

“Is Dean okay?” asked Art. You looked between them both and then saw another car come up.

“Don’t tell me the guy got loose,” you said, the officers looking at each other before at you. “How hard is it to-”

“Where’s Dean?” asked Art. “Now, Y/N.”

“In bed asleep. Recovering. Don’t you two dare go and wake him up with what’s probably going to be the most restful night’s sleep he’s had in months,” you said, two more officers, one of them Redge coming into view. “Well, let’s have a party in the front yard why don’t we? Not like-”

“Is he alone?” asked Charlie, taking a step forward. You scoffed and he shook his head. “Is he?”

“No, he’s with Sam and-Hey!” you said, watching all four of them rush inside. They only sounded like a freight train going up the stairs like that as you stormed after. “Dean’s fine alright? You can visit in the morning.”

You heard groaning from Dean’s room and wondered how pissed he’d be that Redge was in his house. The sheets were messy and thrown back as you looked around for the source of it but instead saw Sam holding his head in his hands.

“Looks like he got him,” said Charlie, moving with Redge out of the room and down the hall. “Art, new guy, stay with those two.”

“It’s Jimmy. Again,” said the black haired man that was helping Sam sit upright. You flicked on the light and saw the spot of blood on his head.

“Dean, he…ow,” said Sam. You walked over and rubbed on his back, ready to kill whoever it was that let Dean’s creepy stalker take him again.

“House is clear, set up a perimeter in the neighborhood. Art, help outside,” said Charlie as you glanced around.

“How did he even break in?” you asked, only the bathroom window open from the looks of it and there was no way up. “We’re up on the second floor.”

“Y/N,” said Jimmy with a cock of his head. “Dean’s kidnapper is still in custody.”

“Then who-”

“Dean just…” grunted Sam. “He sat up and clocked me way harder than he ever has in his life, grabbed a bag from the closet and sounded like he threw on his shoes and bolted out the window.”

“What…” you said, starting to move for the bathroom but Jimmy catching your arm. “Why would he do that?”

“There’s evidence that Dean wasn’t always in that basement,” said Jimmy.

“What does that mean exactly?” you asked, squinting at him. He sighed and looked away.

“It means that Dean very likely did what he had to in order to survive and at some point, it broke him,” said Jimmy.

“He’s scared and has PTSD, he’s not broken,” you said, shrugging out of his hold.

“The kidnapper had an alias, multiple aliases. Multiple plots of land and a couple other basements, just like that,” said Jimmy. You opened your mouth to argue but Jimmy shook his head. “Dean’s DNA is all over those places, those crime scenes. Three other men, all Dean’s age, some looking like they’ve been there a long time. All three were murdered. By Dean.”

“You’re being insane right now, I mean-”

“Dean kept a journal. We found it in the basement. They had to fight, they had go against each other to live and at a certain point, Dean started hurting them because he liked-”

“Stop. Talking,” you said. Sam looked ready to throw up but this guy didn’t know Dean and he didn’t know you. He was the rookie meant to replace him until Dean got on his feet, a quiet gig where he could probably do the mundane small town crap with his eyes closed. But this guy was a stranger and frankly he was the only cop in town you remotely trusted after everything with Redge. “Officer…”

“James Novak,” he said. “People call me Jimmy.”

“Jimmy, I used to be in an abusive relationship with Redge, you know, a cop? Dean, your ‘murderer’ saved me from it, gave me a home and a friend and a safe place to stay. He would not do those things to those other people. He’d try to save them. Dean is really smart. He would probably make the guy think he likes it to get more freedom and work on getting back at him. When I found him, he wanted to kill the guy. Dean doesn’t-”

“You’re talking in theory. You can’t know-”

“Dean has been alone with Sam and me for the past twelve hours. If he’s so bad, why didn’t he rip us to shreds then?” you asked. “I don’t know what he’s doing but he’s trying to protect us because that’s who he is.”

The officer didn’t say anything but he looked at you and Sam, knowing Dean would have had to give his own brother that hard of a hit in order to have enough time to get away.

“He didn’t do it. Give me a chance to prove it before you write him off too,” you said, Jimmy’s gaze flickering down and back up.

“You have no way to prove his innocence. Even if it was under duress, it still…” he trailed off, moving behind you as he stared at the wall. “Why would Dean have a teddy bear on his dresser?”

You spun around and saw the brown stuff bear on the other side of the room.

“I don’t know, I thought it was supposed to be a present or something,” you said, Jimmy picking it up and practically ripping it in half. “Hey that’s…what the fuck is that?”

“A hidden camera,” said Jimmy, holding up the lens and the wire that was tucked safely behind the dresser and probably into the wall, out of view. “Who put this here?”

“We both just assumed Dean was going to give it to Y/N on a date or something,” said Sam, glancing around.

“Has anyone else been in his house since Dean was taken?” asked Jimmy, glancing around.

“The internet guy, roof repair, the…” you trailed off, looking over at Sam.

“The mold guy,” said Sam, turning to Jimmy. “We were booted out of the house for three days.”

“The house is bugged?” you asked. You sighed and ran a hand through your hair. “It would keep Dean in line, show him we weren’t safe here.”

“It certainly helps but it’s not proof enough that Dean-”

“Then help us get it, Jimmy,” you said. “Please.”

“Running makes him look guilty,” said Jimmy. “But he might have run if he thought you were safer without him.”

“How would we be safer?” you asked, Jimmy shaking his head.

“I don’t know. But something is going on around here and we’re going to get to the bottom of it.”

“Sammy, I miss Dean,” you said, plopping down on the couch after work, throwing your legs over his lap as you stared at the ceiling. “He’s gone from person of interest to don’t be hesitant to use force on him.”

“I want him back too,” said Sam, letting out a sigh. It’d been almost a month since Dean took off and you weren’t all that surprised when his kidnapper was let loose after a failure to gather evidence on him. He played the part of dumb and innocent well, avoiding the alias thing when his lawyer explained that your guy never technically owned the land from those other lots. Sam called bullshit on it but there wasn’t enough there. You’d never technically seen the guy with Dean and your relationship with him left you more liability than help at this point.

“You think Dean’s hiding from him? What if he got ahold of Dean again, no one would have any idea where to look, let alone we’re the only two people that care at this point,” you said. A knock at the open screen door made you sit upright as Jimmy came in with some takeout.

“Glad to know I’m valued so highly around here,” said Jimmy, taking off his shoes and heading for the kitchen.

“Three people care,” said Sam, hopping up as you sat down for dinner. “Anything at all today Jimmy?”

“Not on the Dean front,” he said, giving you a sad smile.

“I know you’re trying when you really don’t have to. We appreciate it Jimmy,” you said, watching him shrug.

“I never even met Dean and I like him more than any of the other people we work with. I do have some other not so great news, chief mentioned after you left,” said Jimmy. You waited for him to continue as he pulled out a few boxes, sliding them over to you and Sam.

“We’re waiting in suspense,” said Sam, Jimmy taking a deep breath.

“Y/N, you’re being…reassigned to patrol 8,” said Jimmy. “Chief is sticking you back-”

“Redge is my partner! Come on. I don’t want to drive around with him all day,” you said, Jimmy sighing.

“I tried to tell chief that it wasn’t a good idea but everyone looks at you all shady now and Redge is the new golden boy since Dean’s been gone. He thinks Redge will figure out if you’re really up to something with Dean,” said Jimmy.

“Thanks for dinner, Jimmy,” you said, grabbing your box and your car keys, both guys grunting from the kitchen. “I want to be alone right now. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

They continued to grumble but let you be. You drove past the edge of town and parked in a field you used to go to when you wanted to get away from Redge. You sat on the hood of your car and pulled out your burger, taking a big bite and wondering if transferring would make you look guilty too.

You finished fast and were positive the guys were talking about you as much as they were Dean tonight. He’d vanished into thin air and you always wondered if he went back to where his kidnapper was from, if there was some reason he would go looking for something else.

You glanced at your phone and it was only seven. If you drove all night you could make it there by the morning and spend the weekend looking for him. Sam told you not to do that more than once though. Last thing you needed was you going missing too.

“Where are you, Dean?” you said quietly after finishing, laying back and closing your eyes.

About three seconds later something hit you hard in the hand and you whacked at whatever bug just stung you. Glancing down there weren’t any bug guts, just a blue paintball splatter. You spun your head around to the right, nothing but tall grass in that direction. Teenagers ran around out here a lot and you wouldn’t be surprised if you took a stray-

“Ow!” you said, waving your hand as it got hit in the same spot twice. “Knock it off!”

When it happened one more time though and your face was scrunched up in pain, you had to wonder what kid had a shot that accurate. You slid off your hood and walked to the right, the shooting seeming to stop now but you heard a rustling that made you jog after. You couldn’t keep up in the dense terrain but there was an obvious path to follow. By the time you got through, the sun was set and you were using your phone for light. There was a run down farm house in front of you, no lights on inside but the door was open.

“Call it in,” you muttered. It very well could have been the kidnapper but if it was Dean, they’d whisk him off to prison and not think twice. “I better not end up in some lifetime movie.”

You grabbed a sturdy looking branch and made your way inside slowly, trash everywhere but a few paint ball pellets leading a path for you down a hall and to a flight of stairs to a basement.

“Not a horror movie, not a horror movie,” you mumbled, taking as silent a step as possibly onto the first step. Halfway down they started to creak and you knew your cover was blown if you had one in the first place. It was dimly lit and you’d only scanned half the area before your makeshift weapon and phone were snatched away from behind, a shove pushing you forward against a wall. You spun around, ready to knee the person but stopped when you saw Dean staring back with a dark hoodie and jeans on.

“You need to stop trying to find me,” he said, tossing the stick to the side, turning off your phone and throwing it on the ground.

“Looks like I did and that was expensive you know,” you said, Dean’s face showing no amusement. “I know you didn’t-”

“You don’t know what I did,” said Dean. “What I can do when I get pushed far enough. This is your warning to stop looking for me and get on with your life.”

“Dean, I’m not scared of you,” you said. He stepped forward so your back was pressed up against the wall, his arms on either side of you as he leaned down.

“You should be,” he said, his face hard and dark.

“They’re forcing me to take Redge as my partner,” you said, Dean’s face holding strong but his eyes flickered for a few seconds, concern darting all over the place. “You can’t fool me, Winchester. You’re not the bad guy.”

“It doesn’t matter if I’m not, Y/N,” he said, leaning back and moving his hood back to run his hand through his hair. “It’s the part I have to play from now on.”

“Why? Let Sam and me and Jimmy help,” you said, Dean raising an eyebrow. “New cop meant to come in to replace you. He doesn’t believe you did that stuff.”

“The guy is out there. He only wants me so I have to stay away from you and Sam so that he leaves you alone,” said Dean.

“He’s not a cop, he can’t-”

“This guy took me as a kid, Y/N. I was too little, way too little to even remember but he had me for a few days. I always thought it was random but I knew dad left something out of the story. I was a cop’s kid and it wasn’t hard to figure out dad screwed somebody over and they wanted to get back at him,” said Dean.

“Why’d he come back Dean? This seems personal but the stuff with your dad is done with, isn’t it?” you asked, Dean shaking his head.

“I’m not telling you,” said Dean. You crossed your arms and he crossed his. “I’m not telling you.”

“Dean, please, give me something,” you said. “I’m trying to prove you’re innocent and it was a set up but-”

“Y/N, just stop. It’ll never happen. I’ll always be on the run. There’s too many things to this. You have to get on with your life. You’ve spent the past half year looking for me and you got to move on,” he said. “Sam too. Tell him to go back home. Maybe you can go with him, get out of this town, find another nice guy. There’s more than one of us out there.”

“I want you,” you said, stepping forward to try and hug him, Dean stepping away. “We never even went on a date.”

“I guess I don’t really have to break up with you then,” said Dean, kicking it the ground. “We never even had a chance to try.”

“Why did you bring me here, to tell me to go away?” you asked. Dean nodded and shrugged.

“Basically. I wanted you to know I was okay and that-”

“You are not okay,” you said, looking him up and down. “You’re more scared than when I found you in that basement. You’re angry and cold and you think this would all be easier if I turned my back on you and let you live the rest of your life in some kind of on the run Hell or in prison. Guess what? I used to be that way until you told me I could never push you away from helping me. You made me furious because you wouldn’t understand that I was a lost cause. You know what? I wasn’t and neither are you. If you don’t tell me what’s going on right now I swear I’ll find a way to force you to tell the truth.”

“This is different, sweetheart,” said Dean, a sliver of warmth in his voice again. “It’s too late and you’re forgetting I made you a promise that’d I’d keep you safe. You have to do what I tell you and forget about me.”

“Make me,” you said. Dean sighed and cocked his head over to the side, a bottle and a rag on top of a shelf. “What is that?”

“I want you to leave now. Tell Sam the house is his if it’s not already in his name. Sell it and get out of this place,” said Dean.

“No. You’re not letting me help you and I can and…” you said, Dean grabbing the rag and tilting the bottle over it for a second.

“You’ll wake up in your car in a few hours,” he said, glancing down. “I wish I could-”

Dean was strong enough to pull the rag away after you’d pressed it against his mouth but the fumes left him weak and it made the rest of the job easy until he was slumped over on the floor.

“What the fuck is going on with you, Dean?” you asked, looking at him like he’d passed out on the couch, so much softer when he wasn’t clenching his jaw at you. You grabbed your phone and thankfully it turned on even if it was cracked. Thirty minutes later Sam and Jimmy were there, throwing a blanket over an out cold Dean in the back of Jimmy’s car.

“Now what do we do?” asked Sam.

“I think we’re going to have to interrogate your brother.”

Dean was not all that happy to wake up and find his wrist cuffed to a chair at the small, out of the way house Jimmy was staying in. The three of you were in the kitchen trying to figure out how to keep Dean safe and get him to open up when he started yelling at the top of his lungs.

“Dean, calm down,” you said, flinging open the door to the back room he was in, Sam and Jimmy right behind you. “No one is-”

“Let me out, now,” he said, trying his best to dislocate his thumb to get it off but you’d made the cuffs too tight on purpose, Dean grunting when he saw it was no use. “I swear-”

“Check?” asked Sam, Dean blinking a few times. “Do you remember check, Dean?”

“I’ll check you into the wall if you don’t let me leave right now,” said Dean, fuming at the both of you, his gaze landing on Jimmy. “You must be the new guy, huh? Do me a favor and cut me loose.”

Jimmy stepped inside and grabbed a chair, placing it across from Dean and taking a seat.

“Oh come on, I-” Dean got out before Jimmy slapped a hand over Dean’s mouth and Dean’s free hand shot up to tug on his wrist. To your surprise, it didn’t move and Dean started to dig his fingers into Jimmy’s flesh hard.

“You’re being very stupid Dean,” said Jimmy. “Or would you remember me better if I told you my name was Cas?”

There was a slight pause on Dean’s part as his eyes looked over Jimmy, dropping his hand away the same time Jimmy moved his.

“You do remember me,” said Jimmy, giving Dean short smile.

“I always thought…” said Dean, smiling a little at him, giving you and Sam both a look. “This is...Cas.”

“So your name isn’t Jimmy Novak?” asked Sam, Jimmy, or better yet Cas, giving a shrug as you took a seat nearby.

“My cover name is. I’m a special agent,” said Cas, turning his attention towards Dean. “I met Dean a long time ago.”

“You were the older boy there,” said Dean quietly, still looking incredulously at the black haired man. “How are you not dead?”

“You really have a hard time remembering those couple of days huh? You were only a little squirt then I suppose,” said Cas, looking over at you and Sam. “My dad used to be your dad’s partner. Only difference was I was old enough to remember getting taken. Dean’s a little fuzzy on the details but I’d expect that.”

For some reason Dean got all kinds of relaxed and stopped trying to find a way out of his chair, perfectly content to sit there now. You went and grabbed a bandage for him to come back and saw the cuff was gone now, Dean avoiding your gaze.

“Can I patch that up?” you asked, the red mark on his wrist bloody in a few spots. He nodded but wouldn’t look, a slight shake to his arm.

“Want to tell these guys what I know Dean? What you remembered when you were taken a few months ago?” asked Cas, Dean holding his hand in his lap when you finished. He was quiet and Cas sighed. “You were more of a fighter as a two year old, come on man.”

“You were an annoying six year old,” said Dean, glancing up at Cas. He found Sam’s gaze before yours, upset with himself some about trying to force you to stay away. “I don’t want Y/N to-”

“This girl has spent so many hours trying to find you, Dean. She gets to know the truth too,” said Cas. Dean looked ready to argue before the fight went out of him and he slumped into his chair.

“There was another boy, older than me. He had a weird name,” said Dean. “Redge.”

“Before you go feeling soft for him, Redge is this nutjob’s son. When he found out Dean of all people was the reason you broke it off with Redge-”

“I broke up with Redge and his psychopath dad does all that to Dean as revenge? Redge plants evidence to incriminate Dean? What are we in, a horror movie?” you asked, throwing up your hands.

“Pretty much,” said Cas with a shrug.

“I need a drink,” you said, heading over for the kitchen, finding a bottle of old bourbon in a cupboard, taking a long sip.

“I knew she’d think this is her fault, I didn’t want to tell her for this exact reason,” said Dean, following Cas into the kitchen, Sam on his tail and stealing the bottle from you and putting it up high where you couldn’t reach.

“It explains how Dean’s DNA got all over crime scenes he never visited, why he was forced to keep a journal, it explains a lot really,” said Sam, sitting up on the counter, keeping an eye on Dean who looked on the verge of bolting. “Hey, I asked you check and you didn’t say anything.”

“What difference does it make how I’m feeling? I’m used to it by now,” said Dean, rolling his eyes. “None of this makes any difference. I’m still royally screwed and he’s still out there and it sounds like Redge is in on it. I can’t do anything so the reunion was great and everything but leave me alone for all our benefits.”

Dean stood up to head for the door but Cas caught him by the hood and shoved him into a seat at the kitchen table.

“Dude, back off or-”

“I’m working a case and until I have solved it and got my guy, you’re going to do exactly what I tell you, all of you will,” said Cas, letting Dean go, pushing on his shoulder when he went to stand. “I wouldn’t let this slide even if it was as simple as a little revenge case but it’s not and we both know it.”

“It’s not?” the three of you asked, Cas running a hand through his hair.

“Oh my god, did you never once look at the files our dads were working on around that time? Investigating a serial killer? Never?” asked Cas. Dean looked like a deer in the headlights, staring up at Cas towering over him. “You’re lucky he likes you better as a pet than a victim or you’d have been killed a long time ago.”

“Cas, go take a walk,” you said, Sam standing to go with him as he saw you were getting ready to make Cas a victim himself. When they were both outside Dean had dropped the hardness and had that sad look on his face again, the one when you drove him away from that basement and to the hospital. “Dean?”

“Cas is right. I am lucky,” said Dean. “Everybody else he kills but I pissed off his son so lucky me got to stick around.”

“You never told me what he did to you,” you said, walking to stand by his side, taking his hand in yours. “You only ever said you got in trouble.”

“I’ll tell you someday, I promise but right now can we not fight? I really don’t want to fight anymore,” he said, voicing barely cracking at the end. You sat next to him and wrapped him into a hug, Dean welcoming it as you wondered when the last time he had any sort of touch at all in his life. “Why didn’t you give up on me?”

“You don’t give up on people you care about,” you said, running a hand over his head. “I always wanted to repay you but I never thought it’d be like this.”

“I would have done with a pie,” said Dean, a tiny chuckle from him doing wonders for your own nerves.

“We’ll figure out some place safe for you while Cas investigates. A place like this maybe where you won’t have to run or worry about getting caught by the cops or our guy,” you said.

“That sounds much better than that tent I’ve been staying in,” said Dean. “Anything sounds much better now.”

“You tried to not let me help. Over and over again,” you said, Dean resting his head in the crook of your neck.

“I know. I barely let you take care of me when I had that cold. This was too much to put on you,” said Dean.

“Me showing up at your door with a duffel bag and begging you to let me crash with you for the night, promising I’d be gone in the morning felt like too much. It always felt like too much when you made me breakfast or brought home surprises for me or complimented me or did a thousand other things. One day I realized I’d never convince you of that. It was so much easier when I let it all go. You’ll let it all go too Dean. You’ll get there,” you said.

He shrugged and took a deep breath. He almost started to relax before he pulled his head up and looked back at the door. You wondered if he wanted Sam when he bolted up and ran for it.

“Dean! What the-” you got out before he stopped and looked at you, rushing back over and taking hold of your hand.

“Don’t leave my side,” said Dean, pulling you along after him and out the door. He glanced around the small clearing before there was nothing but woods and the small dirt path that would eventually lead to the road.

“What’s-” you said before he threw a hand over your mouth, spinning the two of you around, spotting Jimmy’s car and rushing over. He flung open the door and shoved you in over to the passenger side before he started to rip open the dash with his bare hands.

You watched him wide eyed as he pulled on some wires, face smashed against the steering wheel until he got a spark and the engine came on, tugging you back into the driver’s side.

“Get out of here. Get out of town, just get as far away as you can and hide,” said Dean, panting as he pulled your seatbelt on.

“Dean, I don’t-”

“I remember and Cas...Cas was a nice kid. He took care of me. But I don’t remember him ever leaving with me,” said Dean, shaking his head. “Sometimes I swore I heard another set of boots wandering around in that shed too.”

“Dean, Cas has helped us, stood up for you, he’s-”

“Y/N,” you heard Cas say, both your and Dean’s head’s whipping to the front of the car where he was walking around. “Where are you going? We need to figure out a plan.”

“Stay the hell away from her,” said Dean, standing up and slamming your door shut. You weren’t in the car for more than a few more seconds before the lights flickered and went out.

“I always have problems with that freaking battery,” said Cas, rubbing a hand over his face. You climbed out and Dean stood in front of you, Cas cocking his head. “What’s wrong? What’s happening?”

“I know who you are you son of a-”

“I am trying to help you, Dean. Is he having some kind of meltdown?” asked Cas to you. Dean had been overreactive since the moment you saw him, not thinking clearly and assuming the worst scenario would happen every single time. Cas had been calm and collected apart from his small outburst at Dean.

“Where’s Sam?” you asked. Cas practically growled and you took another step behind Dean.

“I have no issue with Y/N,” said Cas. “Hell, she knows what a dick Redge can be first hand. She can go.”

“Where’s Sam, Cas?” asked Dean. Cas shrugged and held up his hands.

“Like I said, Y/N can go and I highly advise you do and forget all about this before you get dragged in. My issue is only with the Winchesters,” said Cas.

“Go,” said Dean, pushing you backwards with one hand. “Now.”

You didn’t argue it and went off down the path, Dean glancing over his shoulder to give you the smallest of smiles, a quiet thank you. You went down the road until you were out of view, going a little further before ducking into the woods and carefully making your way back to the house, Cas now holding a gun in his hands as Dean sat on the hood of the car, his hands cuffed behind his back.

You figured you had a couple options. Sneak up on Cas and get his gun to save Dean. Stay hidden and hope Cas brought Dean to wherever Sam was and sneak them both out later. Or call for backup from your completely un-trustable department and hope whoever showed up didn’t make you another victim.

You didn’t have enough time to think of your fourth one before a hand shot out over your mouth and a cold muzzle pressed against the back of your neck.

“Don’t move.”

The hand around you made you backup slowly, going with them even if you knew it was likely to certain death. You walked with them for a while before they spun you around and led you forward, walking on and on until you were well out of shouting distance of Dean.

“Hands behind your back,” he said, your body only doing so when he pressed the gun harder against your skin. You quickly felt a pair of department issue zipties around your wrists, his hand pushing you down to the ground. You expected a bullet but the gun moved away and he walked in front of you, staring you down. “What the hell are you involved in, Y/N?”

“Redge, if you’re going to kill me just do it,” you said, his gun staying by his side a good sign you told yourself. “If you’re not going to do that then what-”

“Saving your ass. Cas plays games. Letting the girl go is one of his favorites. Two months from now when Dean hasn’t broken yet, he’ll pull you out of whatever hole your in and kill you in front of him, then threaten the same with Sam if he doesn’t get with the program. I don’t know where Cas put him. You’ll thank me when you’re still alive,” said Redge, fiddling around in his backpack, grabbing you by the arm and walking again.

“Redge what the fuck are you-” you got out before he slapped a hand over your mouth, a piece of duct tape over it.

“Shut up until I can explain,” he said, dragging you along until you came to the edge of the road, Redge shoving you in the backseat of his car and driving away, back towards town. You kicked his seat and he growled, getting louder when you didn’t stop. Eventually he pulled into his garage of your old home, shutting the door and taking you out, pushing you down on the couch as he made sure all the blinds were shut. When he ripped the duct tape off fast you nearly bit his hand off but his hands in tight fists made you think twice.

“Explain before I kick your ass for kidnapping a cop,” you said, Redge’s eyes rolling hard. He sat down on the ottoman and leered at you, cocking his head. “What?”

“If you had just stayed with me, none of his would have happened. Sam and Dean would be fine. You’d be fine. It would be okay, you know that?” he asked.

“You used to hurt me and that wasn’t okay, Redge,” you spat out. “Stop talking out of your ass and pretend for two seconds you’re not a piece of crap and maybe I’ll not ruin your life for stopping me from saving my guys.”

“You can’t save them. It’s too late. Grab your stuff and go,” said Redge. “Cas’ll give up trying to catch you pretty fast. He knows you won’t say anything.”

“Why wouldn’t I? He’s only…oh, I don’t know a complete and total liar,” you said, your shoulders starting to ache. “Would you cut me loose? You’re not exactly screaming trustworthy right now.”

“You’re the one being investigated by internal affairs, Y/N. For all I know, you’re another one of dad’s star students,” said Redge. You cocked your head and Redge took a deep breath. “Six months of your record is missing when you were twenty. Why?”

“I was in school which you’d know if you ever listened to me. I did study abroad but you wouldn’t know anything about that considering you tuned out everything I said unless it was yes sir,” you said, Redge looking you over. “What do you mean students?”

“I’m a saint compared to dad. He really just…gets the urge to kill people and does it I guess. I never saw it but I mean, he slipped it into asking about how school was and all that,” said Redge.

“You never told anyone anything? Never another adult or-”

“One day, when I was five, I came home and there were these two boys in the basement. Dad told me to play with them, take care of them, keep them under control. He said I’d get a big reward if I did. It wasn’t hard with the little boy, Dean, but the older one was bigger than me and he shoved me around so I shoved back. I thought we were playing like at recess or something. That’s all I did was play with them. After a couple days, the little boy went away but that other one…he didn’t. I got a new brother I was told,” said Redge.

“Cas,” you said, Redge nodding his head. “Oh, why didn’t you say something Redge?”

“Because I’m not a good guy. You know that,” said Redge, looking you up and down, all too aware that you were still restrained. “The more Cas gave in, the more I liked it until a couple months later and we were in a new town and Jimmy was my older brother at school. The longer he stayed with us, the more he got to be like dad until eventually Jimmy was the one going into the family business. Sometimes I wish dad hadn’t kept him. It sounds bad but Jimmy, Cas I guess…he’s ruthless and cunning. Dad was always happy with the quick and dirty but Jimmy likes the slow burn,” said Redge, his face dropping as he thought of something.

“Redge, work with me. It doesn’t sound like you guys are on the best terms,” you said, Redge laughing at you and crossing his arms.

“He’s worse than me, worse than dad, but that don’t make me the golden boy,” said Redge. “Cas has his toys to play with. I only ever wanted you back and here you are. You can be safe here from him, safe from dad too. I’ll be better this time.”

“Are you asking me to stay or telling me I am,” you said, Redge’s gaze on the floor in front of him. His hesitancy made you braver and you tapped his leg with your foot. “Redge.”

He stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbing a knife as you swallowed hard. He put on a hand on your arm and spun you around, cutting through the zip tie and picking up the pieces, tossing them in the trash on the way back to the kitchen. He pulled a bottle of water out of the fridge and handed it to you, taking a seat back down.

“You were my first long term girlfriend. The first time I ever lived with someone else. That control was something I lived with for years, it’s what I thought love was and how to get respect and all that. As much as I want you back, I know I’m not good. Dean’s always been the guy for you and I took you because he was too shy at first, even if I knew he wanted you. You’re not mine but you got to stay away from Cas. He’s going to call my dad and they’re going to go to town on him, Y/N,” said Redge. “Sam too. You just got to move on.”

“I’m being investigated because of my relationship with Dean, right? They think I potentially knew he committed those crimes or set all this up?” you asked, Redge nodding his head. “Go with me to the station and vouch for me. Tell them all that. Tell them the truth and help me save them. Sam is a civilian, Dean is another cop and you’ve got some penance to serve, Redge,” you said.

“It’s my family. My literal psycho murdering family,” he said. “I go against them-”

“Your family is hurting my family. Family has your back and all that but yours is built on fear and pain, not love. That’s not a real family. Your family would hurt you for trying to stop them. Dean and Sam, I’m sure I’ll get an earful from them but I’ll get a crap ton of hugs too. Give me a shot, please,” you said, Redge sighing heavily.

“Y/N, odds are we’ll never find them,” said Redge, a tiny smile on your face. “But we could try.”

Two Months Later

Redge hadn’t checked in with the station in a few days and the looks you were starting to get made you nervous. Sam had vanished but Cas…Cas showed up for work the next day a few months back like nothing more had gone on that night than having an easy dinner and watching some TV. Redge stayed quiet when he saw Cas back, never saying a word to anyone about all he’d told you. You didn’t know who or what to believe anymore. The investigation on you was proving nothing you figured but you knew they believed you were the one who took Sam and was involved with all the rest.

“Hey,” said Cas, knocking on your desk as you looked into the old files on Redge’s dad. “You’re riding with me today.”

“Shocking,” you said, grabbing your winter coat, hoping wherever the boys were they weren’t freezing to death. You’d kept your distance from Cas since that night, occasionally trying to track him but Cas always one step ahead of you, no thanks to help from Redge you guessed.

“Coffee run?” Cas asked when you climbed in the passenger side of his cruiser, shaking your head. “This doesn’t have to be as bad as you make it out to be. I’ll buy.”

“A cup of coffee? Well I guess we can be besties forever now, huh,” you said, Cas pulling out of the lot for your four hour patrol around town.

“I let you go. Someone in my line of work doesn’t really do that,” said Cas, looking over at you. “You’re a good cop. Once the investigation clears up, maybe you’ll think about moving on to a bigger town, work some bigger cases than the run of the mill crap we do all day.”

“Do you have a point at all? Otherwise you can shut it for the rest of today,” you said, crossing your arms, wishing you’d get a call to give you something else to think about.

“Playing nice with me makes life easier for them,” said Cas. “Perk up. You’re prettier when you smile.”

“Whatever you say boss.”

Three Days Later

You were at a motel room in a random town that only took cash. You used a rented car to take to “borrow” another one, promising yourself you’d return it to the owner before they got back from their vacation. You left your phone behind and your computer, no credit cards, anything Cas could use to figure out where you were. When it was almost two thirty in the morning, you slipped out of your room and walked down a few blocks, hood up as you scanned the alleys for the one you were looking for.

Right on the dot, you saw a man leaning against the brick wall of one, his head curling towards yours when he must have noticed your gazing. He gave a tiny nod you returned and he waved you down.

“You’re less intimidating than I expected,” said the playful voice, standing up straight, his height rivaling Sam’s almost.

“Nick,” you said, pulling your hood down, the man doing the same. He was a bit older than Cas, around ten years maybe but even in the dim alley, you could see the familiarity. “I know where your baby brother is.”

“See, you kept saying that on the phone but Cas is dead. I haven’t seen him since he went to go play in the yard. It’s been over thirty years, kid. If you found his body, that’s great but I made my peace with what happened a long-”

“Look,” you said, shoving a hand into your pocket and pulling out the picture of Cas in uniform, Nick’s face going blank. “He’s alive.”

“He’s okay. Little guy became a cop,” said Nick, not exactly a smile on his face but as close as you were going to get for a harsh guy like him. “Why didn’t he…what…why did you find me, have us meet like this?”

“You’re a criminal and I’m so far in this thing I’ll work with bad guys to stop even worse ones,” you said. Nick handed the picture back before you shook your head that he could have it.

“You’re a cop,” he said. “Internal affairs, some law and order crap like that?”

“Your brother took two people very important to me. I will explain everything I can to you but I’ll be upfront about this. You’re not getting the happy ending with your brother you want. It’s not going to happen,” you said, Nick looking over your head.

“Inside,” he said, pushing open a back door to the bar you were outside of. “You look like you need a drink.”

Nick quietly sipped on his beer as you told him everything you knew. When you’d finished, you didn’t get any denial or shock or any of the other reactions you were expecting. Just a small chuckle that made you wonder if you’d only added one more crazy person in all this.

“To think I was the bad son,” said Nick. “Dad and his stupid pride, wouldn’t do something bad to save his own kid.”

“I read through the old files of Chuck’s, the ones in the storage shed in Toledo,” you said, Nick’s head popping up. “I’ve broken a few laws trying to get my boys back, I’m not a saint either. But your dad tried to get Cas back. It was one or the other and Dean was younger so-”

“So Cas got the shaft. Wow, way to go dad,” said Nick, standing and grabbing a bottle of some hard liquor, pouring it straight into his empty glass, enough to knock out a horse if he finished it all.

“He tried after that and that’s why he got killed. This guy Chuck and John Winchester were investigating is bad news. Ruthless and he made Cas just like him,” you said, Nick seeming unfazed.

“This is my problem how?” he asked, taking a long drag, scrunching his face up at the burn of it. “You’re the cop, that’s your job to fix crap like this.”

“You were supposed to watch him and you let your kid brother go play outside by himself when you were told to not let him out of your sight. How’s that for your problem?” you spat back, Nick’s face going cold, downright scary.

“You sure you aren’t the bad one? You sure know how to rip open old wounds,” he said, taking another swallow.

“This was a waste of time,” you said, standing up, heading for the back door until Nick’s hand caught your arm.

“You said this guy Redge, that you breaking up with him is what started all of this, right?” asked Nick. You felt his hand get loose and you moved it away, looking down at Nick in the booth.

“It got Dean involved and it made Redge’s dad go after him again and it brought all of this up so yeah, it’s pretty much all my fault,” you said.

“If I’d watched Cas like I was supposed to, Cas wouldn’t have gone that route and maybe that Redge guy would have turned out different and maybe a lot of things would be different so if it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine,” he said.

“You don’t know that,” you said.

“You don’t know that you and Redge had anything to do with Dean. They all knew each other before you came along. This could have been in the making long before you showed up,” said Nick.

“If you say you’re going to help, are you going to turn around the next day and pretend that didn’t happen? I’m running out of people to turn to, Nick,” you said.

“I think I should have a talk with my brother. On one condition,” he said, your head dropping.

“I can’t promise any clearing of your record or any of that. I’m on the outs. I can’t even promise you’ll live through this,” you said.

“One condition,” said Nick, standing up. “We’re going to need backup and I know the guys for the job.”

“Nick, this-”

“Kid, I wasn’t asking. You want to find Dean and Sam? Trust me.”

On Monday morning the chief called you into his office to tell you Cas was your new partner, Redge back at work as you figured he didn’t turn up anything concrete, not that he was ever really investigating you. You were stopped at the diner for lunch with Cas a few days later, silently eating together when Cas kicked you under the table.

“What?” you asked, mouth full of salad, Cas giving you a hard glare. “Don’t tell me the place is getting robbed,” you said, spinning in your seat to see nothing going on.

“What is that?” he asked, pointing outside at a man outside playing on his phone.

“A guy on his phone?” you asked, not sure what was going on with him. Cas studied your face and relaxed. “What?”

“Nothing. You’re not arguing with me as much lately. I was suspicious,” said Cas.

“Well you said it yourself. I’m free and alive. I need to start looking out for myself,” you said, Cas raising an eyebrow. “I’m smart enough to admit defeat. I need to move on, get out of this town and forget this all ever happened right? Let you have your…extra curricular activities.”

“You’re giving up just like that,” said Cas. You shrugged, playing around with your fork.

“I never even went on a date with the guy. I’m loyal but I’m not a dumbass,” you said. “Maybe I’ll go somewhere warmer, where it doesn’t snow in the winter.”

“Oh you’re cruel. You ever want a date, give me a call,” said Cas with a wink.

“I do have a slight favor to ask,” you said, Cas’ smile falling away. “A letter of recommendation would help with a transfer considering everything I went through. I’m not sure they’ll take me with that on my record if I don’t have someone to-”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” said Cas, easing up again. “I’ll make you sound good and all that.”

“Thanks,” you said, Cas going back to his sandwich until you were climbing in the cruiser, back on your patrol for the second half of your shift.

“You’re really giving up on them. They’ve been so adamant that you’d stay away and do what asked. I guess you’re finally getting with the program huh?” asked Cas.

“I have one other favor to ask,” you said, turning to Cas. “You and your family stay away from me, they don’t come after me. I don’t want to look over my shoulder the rest of my life.”

“Yeah, that’s not a problem,” said Cas. “You’ve kept your mouth shut and been good. You’ll keep it shut too. No one will bother you.”

“Alright then,” you said, holding out a hand, Cas shaking it with an amused look on his face. “I’ll start looking for new positions tonight.”

It was nearly three in the morning when you got a call on your burner phone from Nick.

“Did Gabe get it?” you asked.

“Oh, he got more than that alright,” said Nick. “Somebody wants to say hi.”

“Hey Y/N,” a tired Sam said on the other end. “You working with a bunch of convicts now?”

“Well I sit next to a serial killer at work. Thievery isn’t so bad compared to that,” you said, hearing a tiny laugh from Sam. He sounded in good spirits but you could only imagine how wrecked he was. “Are you okay?”

“Oh it’s like Christmas morning,” he said with a chuckle. “It’s not Christmas is it?”

“Not for a few more weeks,” you said, sitting up with a big smile on your face. “We got to go pick out a tree.”

“Yeah, we’ll get right on that,” said Sam. “You got Dean back yet?”

“No, we agreed getting at least one of you out was worth the risk,” you said, standing and heading over to your closet to get dressed.

“I haven’t seen him since I saw you last. I don’t know where-”

“It’s okay Sammy. Nick’s brothers are going to stay with you and make sure you get to a hospital and get better,” you said, pulling out some clothes and tossing them on fast.

“I’m honestly okay. Cas never did anything so I assumed Dean’s been playing along. What are you going to do?” asked Sam.

“I’m going to Cas’ house. He’s going to want a new way of keeping Dean in line,” you said.

“Y/N, you can’t-”

“Nick, you know where to meet me. Let’s go have a chat with your little brother.”

“Nick, you ready?” you asked, stepping out of the car parked around the bend, just out of view from Cas’ house. Nick looked down the dirt path, giving you a nod. “Want to give me a heads up of what you’re planning on saying?”

“I’ll let you know when I figure that out myself,” he said, taking a step forward. “You sure you want to come with me?”

“You need the backup,” you said, pulling out your gun. Nick just nodded and went around to the front door as you went to the back. He knocked like he was dropping off a pizza and you took a deep breath. You heard the front door open and slipped in the back, quietly coming through the hall as you saw Cas take a step back and another. Nick landed a punch square to his face and had him restrained fast as you had to fight the urge to rip his head off. “What happened to talking?”

“He kind of deserves it, don’t you think?” asked Nick as you rolled your eyes. Cas grunted as Nick rolled him up, shutting the door as you saw just how off guard he was. “Cas.”

“Nick?” asked Cas, looking his older brother up and down. “Wh-What...”

“What is wrong with you shortie?” asked Nick, Cas’ face softening at the nickname. “What is going on in that head of yours?”

“Whatever she told you, it’s a lie, it’s all-”

“Cut the crap,” said Nick, Cas dropping his head down to the floor. “You got taller.”

“So did you,” said Cas quietly, turning his attention to you, the softness falling away. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? What you just put on my family?”

“Sorry but your dad and Redge aren’t exactly-”

“Not those psychos. Nick and Gabe and Michael. Do you know what you just dragged them into? What I’ve been keeping them safe from for years?” asked Cas, his eyes shooting daggers but flickering with fear for the first time too. “They’re going to go after them finally. After everything I put up with, it’s gone because of you.”

Nick scrunched up his face and raised an eyebrow, probably thinking Cas was nuts.

“Cas,” you said, holding your gun in your hands. “We found Sam. He didn’t exactly sound like someone who’s had a rough go of it lately.”

“Sam played the part he needed to. Dean’s been doing his part too I suppose. I may have exaggerated things a bit,” said Cas, glancing down.

“Exaggerated how?” you asked, your eyes going wide when you saw the chief come in through the front door.

“Stand down officer Y/L/N,” said the chief, your gaze going to Nick who looked like he would try to take him on if you asked. “Stand down.”

“Crowley, I don’t exactly trust-”

“Cas you’re authorized to disclose your case,” said Crowley, Cas breathing a sigh of relief.

“Not like she was only about two seconds away from shooting me, asshole,” said Cas, giving Crowley a hard look before softening his gaze towards you and Nick. “I’m very deep undercover. Very, very, very deep undercover.”

“It all makes perfect sense now!” you said, squinting at him, Crowley rolling his eyes. “You want to explain, get going.”

“The easy version? I got taken as a kid and raised by a not so nice guy and Redge. I figured out how to play along, gain their trust. By the time I was old enough, got more freedom, it was just Nick and my brothers left and there was always this unspoken threat in the air that I couldn’t go back to them. I stayed away and became a cop, try to figure out a way to bring him down and Redge. I was approached at the academy about undercover work. They knew who I really was and who my fake dad was and that I could go under and gather evidence against a guy they’d been tracking for twenty years but couldn’t prove a damn thing about,” said Cas. “I couldn’t hop on board that train fast enough.”

“Wait so you never…” you asked, Cas shaking his head.

“Redge did. I was always going to be his fall guy if it ever came to it so I was told to keep my mouth shut. I’ve made it harder over the years but when you got with Redge and then you two stopped, those two wanted to rip Dean apart. I convinced them to go a different route, screw with you both in a less violent way. It worked and they started to get sloppy for the first time. They actually believed that I’d finally come around to their way of thinking. The evidence we have now though is huge and more than enough to put them both away,” said Cas.

“Awesome, then what’s with the continued charade?” asked Nick, cocking his head.

“We don’t know where Dean is,” said Crowley. You looked at Cas who shook his head.

“Redge called my dad after he found you in the woods,” said Cas, Nick giving him a glare. “Fake dad. Cut me a little slack, I’ve been dealing with this stuff since I was six.”

“Keep going,” you said, throwing Nick a glance to cool it.

“Fake dad showed up and took Dean, not too long after I had a chance to explain myself to him. I don’t know if Dean every truly believed me but I told him I’d keep you and Sam safe until I could get him too,” said Cas. “We just need to find him.”

“Would Redge know?” you asked, looking at the chief who was shaking his head. “I’ll go be bait if I have to. We’re getting Dean back if it’s the last thing I ever do.”

“The guy’s been around the Montana area, sticking to a fifty mile area. Dean’s likely somewhere in there,” said Crowley. “It’s too big of a search area though.”

“When Redge took those few days off earlier in the week, where’d he go?” you asked.

“Montana,” said Crowley. “You think he went to go pay Dean a visit?”

“Check his phone records and we’ll find out.”

The property you were searching was huge and the local police department was even smaller than your own, just four of you out there trying to search 100 acres while you knew your guy was the next town over.

“Y/L/N, sun’s going down and snow’s heading in. We need to call it a night,” said another officer over the radio.

“I’ve got a flashlight and gloves. I’m good,” you said, flicking your light on and continuing your search.

“One more hour, then we need to head in,” said the officer. You clicked off your radio and continued your search, finding a big farmhouse that was a nice break from the cold wind on your face, your cheeks and nose hurting from the icy air. You kicked around the straw on the floor, finding only solid dirt beneath it, taking a short breather behind a bale of hay. It was warmer there and you took a deep breath, glancing around to see a pipe sweating nearby. You hopped up, nothing at all seeming to require heat in the open barn unless of course there was someone living under it. You started kicking the straw again, spending most of your hour picking through every inch of the space.

You yelled when you found nothing, kicking at a bale of hay. You huffed and figure you’d start looking around outside when you spun back around.

“Wait,” you said to yourself, looking around the whole barn, noticing there was only the one bale in the whole place. You bent down and shoved with your shoulder, digging into the ground to get it to budge a little before it slid away. The small cellar door made you smile as you flung it open and hopped down, shooting at a locked door and opening it to find a tiny room warm.

The man on the cot rolled over and wiped at his eyes, yawning as he did so. He blinked the green orbs awake, sitting up fast when he saw you.

“We got to stop meeting like this,” you said, Dean leaning back against the wall in relief. “You’re not going to go all Rambo on me again, are you?”

“You look really cute with a pink nose,” said Dean, waving you over. You bent down to try and cut through his tether again but this one was made of steel cable and you didn’t exactly bring bolt cutters with you. “Try my foot.”

“I’m not cutting your foot off,” you said, Dean rolling his eyes. He put his foot up on the cot and pulled up his pant leg to show the metal cuff on it.

“I meant try picking the lock,” said Dean. “Unless you found the keys.”

“Yeah, right outside the door, didn’t you know?” you joked, the sound of the cellar door slamming shut making your smile fall.

“Tell me that was the wind,” said Dean. You took off back the way you came, going through the door and up the few steps before you pushed on the door. It didn’t budge much and you knew it wasn’t that heavy. You pushed again and again, dropping down and hoping when Dean was free he might have better luck.

“I think it’s just stuck,” you said.

“I don’t think we’re that lucky,” said Dean. “Do you have anything to eat in your bag?”

“Yeah,” you said, slipping it off and digging through to find a few protein bars, Dean barely getting the wrapper off before devouring one. “Hungry?”

“Starving,” he said, halfway through another before he forced himself to stop. “We should save these.”

“It was just the wind Dean. A big storm is coming through,” you said, riffling around in your bag for something to try and get him loose. You took off your hat and shoved it on his head, throwing your scarf on him too.

“How cold out is it exactly? This is Kansas not-”

“We’re not in Kansas anymore,” you said, Dean giving you a bitch face. “Well we’re not, Todo.”

“Awesome,” said Dean as you ran a hand over your head, finding a bobby pin in there. You pulled it out and twisted it, shoving it in the lock and a few moments later, watching it release Dean’s leg.

He sighed when it fell off and he removed the rag he’d shoved there to cushion it, stretching it out as you twisted your bobby pin back in place.

“Let’s work on that door,” said Dean. He stood up with your help but he seemed healthy for the most part and definitely happier than when you’d rescued him the first time. You both had to shove hard but the door flung open eventually, a big gust of wind blowing through the open space that had Dean ducking back down. You gave him your bag with some boots and gloves, Dean throwing his hood up but still cold in his thin hoodie and a pair of jeans.

“Let’s get you home Dean.”

“Alright,” you said, throwing a blanket over Sam on the couch the next day, Dean already bundled up in his own as they both gave you shy smiles. “You’re both fed, Dean got cleared by the hospital, you’re in your warmest pajamas and tucked in. What else do you guys need?”

“You to sit down and take a break, sweetheart,” said Dean, patting the spot between him and Sam. You gladly sat, feeling them share their blankets with you as a holiday movie played quietly on TV in the background.

“Longest year ever,” you said, both of them laughing a little. The doorbell rang and you hopped up, knowing the department wanted to give you all a proper apology but that it could wait for the morning.

“Hi,” said Cas when you opened it, holding a box under his arm, looking down. “Can I come in?”

“Can you look at me?” you asked, Cas slow to lift his head. “You ever hear of a little thing the Winchesters have called ‘Check’?”

He shook his head and you smiled.

“You will,” you said, opening the door for him, his face red from the cold. “Guys, you mind if you have a quick visitor?”

“Cas, our guardian angel,” joked Dean, Cas looking away nervously.

“Dude, relax. You’ve risked a lot to keep us safe,” said Sam. “We’re good with you.”

“Y/N is in need of an apology,” said Dean, not too happy with the way he spoke to you, even if it was to keep up appearances with Redge. “Later though. What’d you bring us?”

“It’s from my brothers and me,” said Cas, putting the box down between them. “For helping bring us together again.”

Sam and Dean shrugged and opened the box up, both of them reaching inside and holding up a leather jacket.

“I guess your dad gave it to our’s once and it got tucked away in storage. It has sentimental value Nick said. John gave it to him as a way of saying our families always have each other’s backs or something like that,” said Cas, rubbing the back of his head.

“You guys want to hang out this weekend?” asked Dean, Sam giving Cas a smile. “Our dad’s were best friends. I think it’s about time the kids were too.”

“Is that okay, Y/N?” asked Cas, the boys looking back over the couch at you. “You’re the one that’s seen everyone go all…”

“I think a big family dinner would be nice,” you said.

A few days later you were sitting on the couch with Dean slouching into your side, talking to Nick and Michael about which Zeppelin album was better, Sam and Gabe and Cas trying to figure out who had the worst pick up line. You didn’t realize you’d fallen asleep until Dean was carrying you upstairs, the guys telling you goodnight as they threw on their coats.

“Didn’t mean to ruin the party,” you said, Dean pausing outside your room before going down to his and putting you on the mattress there.

“It’s your turn to get some overdue rest, Y/N,” said Dean, shutting the door and kicking off his pants, climbing into bed beside you.

“You don’t have to go to bed if you don’t want,” you said, Dean chuckling to himself.

“We’ll see the guys tomorrow. It’s getting late anyways,” said Dean, pulling you in close. “You’re so warm. I’ve wanted to do this forever.”

“Me too,” you said. “You know Nick and Gabe and Michael…they’ve got records,” you said.

“Used to have records. They’ve been expunged thanks to helping catch two serial killers. With Cas back and a family of cops around, I’m pretty sure they’ll get on the straight and narrow soon,” said Dean. “Wouldn’t want to have to arrest our new friends.”

“How are you feeling? After everything I mean. You’ve spent only a handful of nights in this bed over the past ten months,” you said. Dean hummed and you rolled on your side to face him, running a hand through his hair. “You’re not so bad this time.”

“I kind of distracted myself through most of it,” said Dean. “I don’t think anyone’s ever had as much time as me to come up with the perfect first date.”

“I’d rather just stay home with you on the couch and never let you out of my sight if that’s okay with you,” you said, giving him a tired smile.

“You came up Netflix and a pizza too?” he teased, shifting his head closer.

“Check?” you asked, Dean closing his eyes as he tilted his head and gave you a short kiss.

“Green sweetheart,” said Dean, fluttering his eyes open when he moved back. “How about you?”

“I think I’m okay again too,” you said, snuggling into his chest. “This is the weirdest relationship I’ve ever been in.”

“Considering your last boyfriend was a serial killer, I’m not sure how to take that,” he said, chuckle as you gave him a pout. “I really do have to ask though…why’d you never stop trying to save me?”

“You’re my best friend. Maybe we haven’t gotten into the couple stuff yet but you’re my best friend and I love you and you owe me at least two back massages for everything I’ve done,” you said, Dean giving you a big laugh you felt in your chest before he was kissing you again.

“That can be arranged,” he said, closing his eyes. “Thank you for everything sweetheart.”

“Goodnight Dean.”

"Morning,” you said, turning to curl into Dean, your eyes blinking open when you saw him gone. You hopped out of bed and found him staring at the back door in the kitchen, the sun just coming up. “You okay?” you asked, reaching up to ruffle his hair.

“Yeah,” he said, reaching for your hand to hold in his. “Sorry if I woke you up.”

“You’re good,” you said, bumping into his arm. “We can go outside if you want.”

“It’s cold out,” he said.

“You have winter clothes,” you said, Dean nodding to himself like he’d forgotten that. “Do you have anything you want to do today?”

Dean shrugged, just looking outside at the snow covered yard. You bumped him again and he looked down, catching your smile.

“When Sam gets up we’ll head into town and grab breakfast. I got a surprise for you,” you said, Dean tilting his head. “It’s a good surprise.”

It was nearly dinner time by the time you three got back, Dean giving Baby a pat and smile at getting to driver her again.

“I can’t believe you convinced us to go sledding,” said Sam, sipping on his leftover hot chocolate. “In Kansas too. How’d you find that place?”

“A super secret place called google,” you said, Sam grabbing a snowball from the front yard and tossing it at you as he went inside to warm up. Dean was smiling as he stood by Baby, his cheeks red from spending most of the day outside. “You have fun today?”

“Yeah,” said Dean, wrapping you up in his arms and holding on tight. “I needed that.”

“I know. Want to go watch a Christmas movie and warm up?” you asked.

“Die Hard?” he asked. You rolled your eyes but shook your head. “What do you want to do for dinner?”

“Speak of the devil,” you said, spotting Cas pull up in his car, his brothers popping out with a few bags. “The boys brought barbecue.”

“Ribs, brisket, pulled pork, chicken, corn bread, mashed potatoes and a whole bunch of other artery clogging goodies...everything a recovering boy needs,” said Gabe, patting Dean on the back as they got the food inside before the cold got to it.

“We’ll have a quiet day tomorrow if you want. You just looked like you needed some fun today,” you said.

“I did. I still do but with you watching my back I’m going to turn out just fine,” he said, leaning down to give you a kiss. “You know I always had the biggest crush on you, from the second we met actually.”

“I thought you were cute in your little uniform and jeans. I wished you’d been my partner from the start,” you said.

“I’m your partner now,” he said, giving you another fast kiss. “In more than one area of your life.”

“You’re much cuddlier than I remember,” you said. “Not that I’m complaining.”

“Well see this cute girl told me if I got scared I should get a hug and she’d make me feel better. She’s pretty smart,” said Dean, still holding on tight.

“You remember that?” you asked, Dean humming. “Do you want to go get some warm food in you?”

“Yeah,” said Dean, not moving an inch. He waited a few more seconds, looking up as the sun was setting and fresh snow was coming down. “Alright, let’s go have family dinner.”

“I think we should do it once a week, get everyone together,” you said, Dean smiling wide. “You like the sound of that?”

“Having a big family of full of misfit cops and lawyers and thieves sounds perfect, sweetheart.”

_______

#spn #supernatural #dean x reader #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean x you #spn fanfic #supernatural fanfiction #cop!dean x reader

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sleepchapter · 1 year

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how do i say goodbye?

chan x reader

warnings : very short drabble, death implied, breakdown, angst and comfort

summary : someone close to reader in their family died. inspired by the song how do i say goodbye by dean lewis. i altered some of the lines, but any lines inspired by actual lyrics were colored blue.

he had been worried about you. it was only 12 P.M when you said you had to go home for something important. you didn’t even truly know what it was but he had a gut feeling it wasn’t good. you hadn’t come home till 8:30 P.M and he was starting to get worried when you hadn’t been answering his texts checking if you were okay. he was even debating driving to your house but he didn’t want to seem too invasive. he trusted you and knew you’d be home soon. but when you came home with your eyes all red and puffy and your breathing ragged as you tried not to let out sobs to make him aware you had been so distraught created a hole in his heart as he immediately got up and started moving slowly towards you.

“honey, what happened? you can talk to me, i’ve been worried about you..”

it wasn’t until you broke down and let out the loudest sob and fell to the ground, catching yourself on your hands that he decided he’d move closer and hug you tightly. he was usually able to stay calm and collected in situations somewhat similar to this, but seeing you cry like this and him not being able to do anything felt awful to him. your face was in his chest and it was as if you were screaming into it. he felt a tear slip down his face as he was rubbing your back and slowly moved your face up but you wouldn’t look him in the eye. you just kept your head hung low, your sobs filling the room.

“honey, you need to breathe. you’re gonna feel sick if you don’t just take a slow breath in, and a slow breath out…okay..?”

you tried to listen to him but it was still hard to control your breathing. eventually you threw yourself at him and hugged him as tight as you could. you started to finally speak to him, although the words were very broken and hard to understand, he knew it was important to listen, and he did just that.

“how could they leave me behind? they didn’t even say goodbye—”

you didn’t even properly finish what you were saying before you started sobbing loudly again. he finally put two and two together and figured out what happened and he was in shock himself. he didn’t know who it was, but he was close to your family himself. he’s sure once he figures out who died he’ll shed a few tears as well over them, but right now the tears that he’s shedding are over you.

“baby, i’m so— i’m so sorry. i’m here for you, you’re not alone. you’ll get through this..”

he hadn’t noticed, but by now he had a bunch of tears streaming down his face as well. he’d dealt with his members crying many times, he’d even seen you cry a few times before and handled it well, but this was a full on breakdown and it hurt him so much to see you like this. he didn’t know what else to say. he just knew he had to stay like this with you and make sure you were okay. he knows he’ll make sure you’re alright forever and always. he’ll never leave you to deal with this on your on. you’d get through this with him. you’d never be on your own, he’d always be by your side. someday you’ll make it out, and it’ll be with him.

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deanstead · 2 years

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There Will Be Peace (1): Monsters Are Real

Chapter 1: Monsters Are Real

Chapter Summary: While running for her life, Y/N runs into two brothers who try to help.

Word Count: 1,823

Warnings: minor oc death, canon typical mentions of demon possession, passing out

Square Filled: Supernatural Elements for #resa.3kfiesta

A/N: Alright, here's the start! Fair warning that I will probably take forever to complete this series because I've been playing with this idea since like last year. But let me know what you guys think maybe? Also, since I'm doing the bingo event... I thought it'll be a good time for me to fill a square lol. I've missed writing for Dean. Series taglist is open for anyone interested!

SERIES MASTERLIST || DEAN WINCHESTER MASTERLIST

Chapter 2

You ducked behind a tree, panting and looking around. Your hands were shaking even as your fingers closed around the holster of the gun you were holding.

Just a few months ago, you were just a normal family, with normal problems. You’d fought about stupid mundane things and in the space of one night, your life had shattered before your very eyes.

Monsters were real.

Those three words had resounded in your mind as you took off into the night with your sister, leaving your parents lying in a pool of their own blood, their eyes open and lifeless as your own little brother stood above them, his eyes black as charcoal.

You should have known something was wrong. Your brother had been weird for weeks, you’d just thought it was nothing, that he’d been in one of his fantasy play-pretends and you’d gone along with it. But it hadn’t been nothing.

“We’re only alive because you made it through the police academy.” Leah had repeatedly reminded you over the past few months, as the both of had tried to pick up the pieces but you knew it was useless, at least for you. You’d tried to get the both of you back into as normal a life as you could but it was like the attack had set a homing beam on the both of you, you’d run into supernatural creatures almost everywhere you’d turned.

Just like that, you and Leah had found yourselves stuck in a world that you’d never even known existed - full of spirits, monsters, creatures that had only existed in fantasy novels before that night. So you’d adapted and tried to learn as much as you could - about demons, possession, creatures in the dark, while you tried to piece together what had happened that night, that night that changed your life forever.

Now, three months later the demon had caught up to you and Leah, almost like it was playing a game of cat and mouse with you.

“Heard you were looking for me?” It sounded like your baby brother but it wasn’t. Not those charcoal black eyes or the curl of his lips. It wasn’t him.

You’d lost Leah in the mayhem and you sat panting, pressing your back against the tree trunk.

“Leah!” You hissed into the dark forest where the both of you had ended up, the demon hot on your heels.

You could feel the fear seep into your bones. You weren’t sure if you were more afraid for yourself or for Leah. Maybe both.

You climbed to your feet, taking a deep breath before you felt someone grab you.

You struggled, only making out the figure of a man standing in front of you. You could feel his large calloused hands on your skin as he put a hand over your mouth, his other hand looped around your back.

“We’re here to help, okay?” He whispered.

You blinked back at his green eyes and nodded as he quietly let you go. “Listen, I’m Dean. This is my brother, Sam. We’re here to help, alright? Are you alone?”

In any other situation, you might have noticed how gently he spoke, or how kind his eyes looked but you shook your head, almost feeling tears pooling in your eyes. “My sister…”

He exchanged a glance with the man he's introduced as Sam and nodded. “Alright, I want you to stay here…”

“Dean.” Sam interrupted, throwing his brother a look. “We’re in the middle of a forest.”

Dean nodded. “Right. Stay close, alright?”

You moved through the forest now. Dean and Sam looked like they knew what they were doing as you followed them now, which made you feel a little more confident. You just needed to find Leah. If you could find Leah, everything would be okay.

“Wait.”

You could feel the blood run cold in your veins. “No…”

You saw her now, lying in the middle of a small clearing, bathed in the moonlight. “Weren’t you looking for me?”

Your brother’s voice sent your blood curdling in your veins and you could feel the tears as you almost gasped for breath.

You watched almost in disbelief as Dean and Sam tucked their guns back into their pants. “What…” Were they a part of this whole thing all along?

Dean glanced back at you. “Guns aren’t going to work.” Almost as if he felt the need to explain to you what was going on, as Sam gawked at his brother like he couldn’t believe he was wasting time on this.

Sam pulled out a long knife, as did Dean.

“Now, now, boys. Play nice. You kill me, you kill poor little Seth.” The demon drawled.

Your heart gave a little twist. “Seth…”

Dean stepped forward, his knife held out in front of him like he hadn’t even heard anything the demon had said.

“My work here’s done. See you around kids.” He sneered before Seth’s head was thrown back and a gust of black smoke billowed out his mouth and up into the trees, Seth crumpling onto the floor, his body lifeless now.

You ran, shoving past Dean and Sam straight for your siblings.

��Leah!”

There was blood everywhere, across her mangled chest that looked like it had been clawed apart. “No, no… please… no…”

Leah’s eyes fluttered open and she smiled up at you.

“Leah, no…” You muttered, more to yourself than to her.

Leah grasped at your hand and smiled. “You live.” She whispered. “You don’t ever give up, you hear me?”

Tears were already blurring your vision. “You can’t… Leah, I only have you left. I can’t… Don’t…”

“I love you, Y/N.”

Those were the last words Leah ever said to you before the life left her body. You were shaking, but you turned to go to Seth when Dean held a hand to your shoulder and shook his head.

“But we didn’t…” You couldn’t understand it. The demon had definitely said that Seth would die if you killed it but you hadn’t killed it. None of you had.

Sam raised his head from where Seth lay. “I’m sorry.”

“No…” You lowered your head, feeling the grief overwhelm your body. You were literally all alone in this vast world. You had no one left in this world that had gotten ten times scarier than before.

“Hey, come on. We’ll help you.” Dean’s voice was in your ear.

They helped. Even though you didn’t know them, even though they didn’t even know your name, they carried your brother and sister to the outer edges of the clearing. You didn’t absorb everything Dean was telling you about what they called a hunter’s funeral, as they covered their bodies and lifted them onto a wooden platform they’d made.

You watched as they lit the fire, nodding to yourself as you talked to yourself in your head, turning everything over and over. But nothing was made clearer.

Dean glanced at you before he looked back at Sam. He wasn’t sure what it was about you that was tugging at his heartstrings but he couldn’t just leave you here.

“Hey, listen, is there anyone I can call?” Dean gently touched your arm.

You looked up at him, your eyes pooling with tears as you shook your head. “Everyone’s dead.” You whispered. “Seth… Leah… everyone…”

“Okay, okay, what’s your name?”

“Y/N.” You answered back, like a reflex.

Dean nodded, “Alright, Y/N. Let’s get you out of here first alright?” He moved to block the fire from your view now.

You looked up at him before your eyes rolled into the back of your head and you slumped forward.

You woke to find yourself in a room and you sat up with a jerk.

“Woah, woah. It’s okay, you’re okay.” Dean held his hands out towards you.

“Dean…?”

Dean smiled a little and nodded.

“Where am I?” You asked.

Sam stood from where he was sitting in a corner of the room. “You passed out, probably from shock. It’d be hard to explain to the hospital staff what happened and we didn’t know where else to take you so you’re at our place.”

“You feeling okay?” Sam asked.

You shrugged. “Physically, yes. I didn’t get hurt.”

Dean and Sam helped you out of bed and showed you out of the room and into the hallway, leading you down into another room that resembled a library and meeting room smashed into one.

The brothers exchanged a look as you sat down and Sam cleared his throat. “I know you’ll have a lot of questions but before that you’re in our place so I’m sure you’ll understand if we have our own questions.”

You nodded absentmindedly.

You weren’t sure how long the three of you sat there, talking. You told them selective things about you, about what had happened, about Leah and about Seth. In turn, the Winchesters told you about the demon. They’d been tracking him for a while. All they really knew was that it was a demon called Corson and that he’d been doing this for a while. A demon.

You took this all in, your expression not changing.

“Why?” You asked.

Dean sighed and shrugged. “We don’t know either. There isn’t a clear pattern to anything this son of a bitch does. That’s why it’s so hard to track him.”

“So you guys are hunting him?” You asked, looking from Dean to Sam.

Sam nodded.

“I want in.”

Dean looked at you and looked like he was seriously considering it for a moment before he shook his head. “No, it’s too dangerous.”

You gave him a pointed look. “I’ve done dangerous.”

“That was barely the tip of the iceberg.” Dean snapped. “This will change you.”

“I’ve already changed. Everything has changed.” You answered, although your voice was low now and you didn’t look up at him. “I don’t have anywhere to go.”

“You can stay until the end of the week. But you have to find somewhere else to be.” Dean said, matter-of-factly before he walked out of the room, not even waiting for your response.

“Dean.” Sam caught up to his older brother. “You know, I can empathize with her.”

Dean looked up at Sam.

“Dean, come on. Look at what demons did to our family.”

Dean gave Sam a pointed look. “And look where that’s got us. A lifetime of hunting evil sons-of-bitches. We’ve died more times than I can count, and that’s not even to mention the people we’ve gotten killed.”

Dean bit the inside of his cheek as he paused.

“I’m not ruining her life. Or getting her killed.”

Sam sighed but knew it was useless arguing with Dean. He turned back in your direction, he could just see the slight sagging of your shoulders as you sat at the table and sighed again. He knew Dean was right, that it’d be safer if you stayed out of senseless revenge fighting.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

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nexus-my-beloved · 7 months

Text

Suptober #1 - Liminal

Prompt #1 of Suptober!! (I will be writing these every two days as there is only 15 prompts!) Word Count: 837

The empty parking lot seemed to stretch on for eternity.

Rain fell gently, the soft patters of droplets hitting the ground echoing up the floors of the multistory parking garage, seemingly the only noise in the entire area. Everything seemed to stretch on for much longer than it needed to: the parking lot on a single floor was shockingly vast, and for the same layout to be repeated floor after floor of the car park seemed excessive. To walk to a car across the lot from you would entail walking much further than should be required, a trek that felt too much to walk.

Maybe that was the symbolism of this; a relationship that had a mindless trek, one that would take so long to complete for just the uncertain possibility that the trip might be worth it, the same as this lot was almost infinitely expansive and laid ahead a journey much too far to seem fair to walk.

The difference between walking this lot and getting closer to Dean was simple: Castiel had wings, something that would allow him to physically travel across this expansive area in seconds, where those wings yielded useless when it came to trying to reach Dean’s heart.

There were other parallels between this parking lot and the heart of Dean Winchester. Just like this lot, Dean’s heart was expansive, open and wide for someone to come and stay– but only temporarily. His heart was open, full of spaces to be taken, and yet hardly any occupied. For the spaces that were used, it was for his family: a space for Sam, one that sometimes went empty after a particularly harsh fight and Sam thought it necessary to leave, although that space was left untouched for his inevitable return. Other spaces were there for friends– Garth, for one, had a space that he’d taken by sneaking around the security guard at the gate and catching him off-guard, growing on him until his space was officially his. Then there were the other spaces; spaces occupied by loved ones that were long gone, dead, leaving their cars and names behind in spaces that would be filled by no one else. Kevin, Jo, Ellen, Ash, Mary, even John’s begrudging space; all were filled by a car that would never be touched again, one left to rot and rust.

Dean’s heart was expansive, welcoming to those who needed love, willing to offer solace to those that were hurt. He’d offer you a place in his heart, a spot to park as you got yourself together, and he’d love you– but only temporarily. The only ones allowed forever were his family, and Castiel could understand: family didn’t end with just blood, not for Dean, and those he cared enough about to call family weren’t the kind of people he was going to just let go.

But then there was the matter of Castiel. Where Sam might’ve had an on-and-off space, one that he was always welcome to return to, it seemed as though Castiel’s space was both there for him to take and laid in spikes to puncture his tires and attempt to keep him from returning. For whatever the reason, Dean couldn’t seem to decide between wanting to keep the angel there with him and wanting him to leave and never come back. For Castiel, it was tiring.

The journey to Dean’s heart was a slow and painful trek, one he had started on with such confidence that he hadn’t minded repeating back when his will was stronger and he hadn’t known what the path he was walking really was. Since then, however, he’d been stripped of that confidence, stripped of the determination and left with rocks in his shoes and sweat pouring down his neck as he found himself utterly exhausted. Castiel wanted to finish this walk, to get to Dean and ask for his heart in return for his own. Castiel wanted to love Dean, even if he didn’t fully know the implications, and it was in that thought that he found the realization that it might just be another test– he wouldn’t be able to walk through this liminal space until he knew the expanse of just what loving Dean meant.

And yet, standing here, watching Dean lean against the back of his impala with a hard-to-read expression and a beer in hand, Castiel decided: even if this journey costed him more, costed him his entire life and costed him his soul, he would continue the trek that bled him dry and asked of him until he could give no more. Castiel would walk this path, walk further than he could ever imagine he’d have to walk, just to take the injury that would come with finally knowing, finally understanding Dean Winchester. Even if it killed him, Castiel would walk this far if it meant he could have Dean’s heart, no matter how vast that space in between where he stood now and where he wanted to be was.

#supernatural #castiel #dean winchester #destiel #spn #writing #fanfic #suptober23 #liminal #i wrote this while having a splitting headache #please be proud of me

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aylacavebear · 3 months

Text

She Thought She was Normal

Story Summary: Maria really thought she was normal, for most of her life. It was normal for people to have natural talent, she would tell herself the older she got. Many things came easy for her, and that was probably how their rivalry began when she was five and he was seven and she met the Winchesters. Little did either of them know that it wouldn't stay like that forever, both having a far larger destiny than they could imagine

Word Count: 4368

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will eventually be 18+!

Warnings: Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), Angst (some), back to the slow burn

----------------------------------------- Chapter 18

The bags were all sitting on the floor of her room while she sat on her bed just staring at them. Decorate, she thought to herself, not really knowing where to even begin. These were things that were foreign to her, as an adult at least.

She was used to living out of her truck and motel rooms, even with the stay she had with Jess and Sam, as well as her Uncle when she was a kid. It was their home, not hers, so decorating had never crossed her mind. Now she was in a place her father wanted her to call home, hers and those she cared about and trusted.

A knock at her door startled her, “Uh, come in,” she told whoever it was.

Dean had been standing out there for close to an hour, debating his decision of wanting to talk to her. He took a deep breath and turned the doorknob, “Want some company?” he asked with sincerity.

She sat up a bit, surprised it was Dean of all people, “Uh, I guess so,” she shrugged, not sure what to think.

He glanced around her room and at all the bags on the floor before he sat down in the chair at her desk, backward, “Want some help?” he asked, a slight tilt of his head.

Maria looked over at him, wondering what he was playing at, waiting for the snarky, cocky attitude and teasing to start, “Why would you want to help me?” she asked him, more curious than anything.

Dean could tell her guard was up. He couldn’t blame her either. It wasn’t like the two had any kind of close even friendship over the years, and now he was cursing at himself for being such a dick. He smiled softly at her, “Well, I’m no interior decorator but I can hang some mounts if you’d like,” he replied, trying to get her to smile, at least a little.

She sighed and looked down at the bags on the floor, “Dean, I honestly don’t even know where to start, and…” she paused, debating even saying it, “... I don’t want you to tease me about anything.”

He was glad she wasn’t looking at him as her answer made him smile from ear to ear. She opened up, even if just a little. He also knew that he’d have to tread carefully, at least until she was a bit more relaxed, “I might tease you playfully, but I’ll keep it toned down.”

Maria glanced up at him, sidelong, debating believing him, let alone letting him into a space she wasn’t even sure she was able to let herself have. She’d been running on revenge for so long, that being soft and vulnerable was fairly scary, especially with Dean. She took a breath as she looked back at the bags, “Alright, then… if it bothers me I’ll try to say something, instead of just hitting you,” she told him.

Dean had to chuckle at that. There was so much he wanted to say to her but he was horrible with words. She almost had a softness in her expression under all those layers of her hardened hunter exterior. “Lemme go grab some tools,” he told her with that small smile.

She had no idea what to think but wasn’t about to let her guard down. It wasn’t like he’d ever given her a reason to fully open up to him and the moment he left her room, she put the paint and bags of clothes in her closet, then closed it. Maria still hadn’t looked at what Jess had picked out off the clearance racks and had no intentions of going through it in front of Dean of all people.

Sam and Jess didn’t say anything when they saw Dean go into the garage and then back down the hall after grabbing some tools. They just smiled, hopeful for those two. Jess had explained what Maria had told her in the store and it helped Sam put all the pieces together as to why she was the way she was.

Dean spent the next hour helping Maria hang things in her room. He did have to tease her a bit about the posters she’d chosen, especially the one with the moose and squirrel, but also said that he liked them. By the end of things, she was smiling and wasn’t feeling so overwhelmed. The two stood in the middle of her room and looked around, then Dean looked down at her.

She looked almost happy, even slightly relaxed. He took in her smile and the softness in her expression, the way her hands were resting on her hips, and he smiled, “Looks good,” he said softly, but he wasn’t talking about her room.

“Thanks, Dean. I’d probably still be sitting on my bed if you hadn’t helped,” she replied with a small, happy smirk. She didn’t even see the way he was looking at her as she admired their handy word.

Maria planned on painting another time. She didn’t want to do the whole room, just paint things on the walls between the things they’d hung. She also hadn’t realized how relaxed she’d gotten over the time he’d helped her with her room, or how he was still looking at her. Dean helped her clean up the trash before he sat down in the chair again, watching her. She set up the little things on her desk with those holders that Jess had picked out.

“You’re welcome,” he chuckled, a little nervously as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away from her, “I’m, uh… I’m gonna go start on dinner,” he added, as it was his turn to cook after all.

Sam watched his brother as he walked through the war room and ducked into the small hallway that led to the kitchen, “Jess, go check on Maria, I’m gonna go check on Dean,” he whispered to her. The two were curious as to how things had gone.

There had been some laughter while Dean was helping Maria, and with her room being the first one, it carried easily into the war room and library where Sam and Jess had been sitting. Neither of them had wanted to interrupt whatever was blooming between the two prior rivals, only hoping that they’d at least get along and maybe even become friends. Jess and Sam were hoping for more though, knowing how similar the two were.

Jess nodded with a knowing smile as they went their separate directions, too curious to not get involved, “Hey, can I come in?” Jess asked as she knocked on Maria’s half-open door.

“Oh, hey,” Maria answered with a smile, “Sure. You can tell me what you think, or laugh at how silly it all looks,” she chuckled.

Jess stepped inside her room and looked around, surprised and impressed, “Wow, Maria. It looks amazing in here. You and Dean did an awesome job,” she told her as she took in the posters, where she’d hung some of her weapons, her desk, and even the few small nicknacks Jess had picked out for her.

Maria blushed a little at the mention of Dean’s help, “Yeah, I’d probably still be staring at the bags if he hadn’t helped,” she chuckled.

Jess smirked, knowingly, “Well, then, I’m glad you got help. This really does look amazing. How does it feel now?” she asked as she looked over at her, still smiling.

“It doesn’t feel so… foreign anymore. I don’t know. It feels nice now,” Maria barely admitted.

She chuckled a little, “When are you gonna paint?”

“Oh, umm… probably after we take care of Azazel. I didn’t want to get into the middle of painting and have to stop to have to deal with something,” she answered, although it was only partially true.

“Uh-huh. More like you didn’t want to paint in front of Dean,” Jess teased, cocking her head a bit.

“Shut up,” she chuckled.

“That’s what I thought,” Jess giggled.

“Come on, Jess. I still don’t believe you, no matter how nice he’s being,” Maria retorted through a giggle.

Jess sat down on her bed and patted the spot next to her, so Maria joined her, “Look. I’ve been around enough guys to know what they’re after. Dean likes you. Like, likes you likes you. He wouldn’t have done all this if he was just after your looks and sex. Trust me,” she emphasized that last part.

Maria looked around her room again, contemplating what Jess had said, “Jess, I’m just gonna see how it goes, if he and I can even be friends. You know how he’s been toward me, since the day we met when I was five. I know this hunter thing is new to you, but… having something with someone, it’s almost impossible.”

“Well, just don’t discount what I said. That’s all I’m asking. I’m sure the two of you could either be really good or really bad, but either way, it will depend on both of you,” she told her sincerely.

She sighed quietly, “I think that’s with any relationship, even friendship. I’ll work on it, how’s that?” Maria replied, with a small smile.

“That’s all I’m asking,” Jess told her softly.

Back in the kitchen, Dean was smiling as he began getting things out for dinner, practically dancing around the place when Sam walked in. He stood there, smiling from ear to ear as he watched his older brother act like a happy teenager, “So, it went well I take it?” Sam asked, causing Dean to jump.

Dean put his hand over his chest trying to catch his breath and get his heart to calm back down. Thank god it hadn’t been Maria who’d walked in on him, “Dude, don’t sneak up on people,” he said through a heavy breath.

Sam almost laughed as he leaned against the wall, “Still didn’t answer my question,” he pushed in the way brothers did.

Dean went back to preparing dinner, not looking over at his brother, but unable to stop smiling, “Yeah, it went well,” he said nonchalantly.

“Dean, come on, spill already,” Sam pushed, still smiling.

“There's nothing to tell. I helped her with her room, that’s all,” Dean replied, in the same nonchalant tone as before.

Sam just shook his head, “I guess I should at least be happy that you two aren’t fighting,” he chuckled.

That made the smile on Dean’s face get just as dreamy as his tone, “Yeah,” he said, almost in a dreamily.

“You’re not gonna tell me, are you?” Sam asked.

“I already told you, there’s nothing to tell,” Dean reiterated, still smiling.

Sam chuckled again before he headed back out to the library where Jess and Maria joined him shortly afterward. Jess gave Sam a look, the two sharing a private, unspoken conversation which made Sam smile.

“Hey, can I see how things came out?” Sam asked Maria, curious.

“Oh, uh, sure,” she replied, not sure why he wanted to know, but didn’t have a problem showing him.

He followed her to her room and she went and sat on the edge of her bed while he looked around. Sam just smiled. Dean had put a lot of thought into how the weapons would look hanging on her walls. He also noticed the way she was smiling and the softness in her expression. He hadn’t seen her this relaxed since she’d finally gotten over her detox and grief at his place, months ago. Sam walked over toward her night table, looking at the shelf above her bed when his eyes fell on the book next to her lamp.

“Hey, where’d you get this?” he asked, picking up the book.

“Oh, it’s from my dad,” she replied, feeling nervous as she’d forgotten about it being there.

Sam opened the book and scrunched up his face, confused as he looked through it, “What language is this in?” he asked her, utterly confused.

It was her turn to be confused, “It’s in English,” she replied.

He looked over at her, the book still open, “No, Sis, it’s not in English. I’ve never seen this language before in my life,” he told her, concerned.

She reached over and grabbed it from him, looking down at the words, “Then how come when I look at it, it’s in English?” she asked before looking back up at him.

Sam was worried now as he looked at her and the book, “Maybe we should call Bobby,” he suggested, some of the worry coming out in his words.

“My uncle is the one who my dad had trusted the book to, till I was old enough. He knows about it,” she replied, still puzzled.

He pursed his lips, slightly worried but managed to keep most of it out of his expression and went back to focusing on her room, “You and Dean did a good job in here. It looks really nice,” he finally told her.

“Oh, uh, thanks,” she replied, then bit her bottom lip a little, that nervous feeling creeping back up inside her.

“I mean it. Who’s idea was the weapon layout?” he asked, wanting to keep her talking.

“Um... Dean’s,” she answered, then smiled a little, which Sam noticed.

Sam debated his next question before he asked it, “So, uh, how come you told Jess no to helping you but you let Dean?”

That one made her blush slightly and she wasn’t entirely sure why as she looked down at the book in her hands, needing something to focus on, “Well, uh… he knocked on my door, and um… I didn’t know where to start. He was… he was nice Sam,” she replied, quietly.

Sam raised an eyebrow as he smiled and looked over at her, “I’m glad he helped and he was nice about it. He’s not always a jerk. You just gotta get past that serious exterior, cool guy act he puts on,” he chuckled.

She rolled her eyes, “Sounds like you’re hinting at something,” she replied, insinuating he was also talking about her as well.

He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, “Take it how you want. I know my brother. That’s all I’m saying,” he chuckled.

Sam had decided not to tell her how he’d found his brother acting like a teenager with a crush, cooking in the kitchen earlier, “Anyway, it looks nice in here. I’m gonna see if Dean needs any help in the kitchen,” he told her before heading out of her room.

Maria shook her head a bit with a small smile before she looked down at the book again, puzzled. She couldn’t understand why the words were in English to her but not to Sam, then decided that she’d ask her uncle about it when he and John got back. It wasn’t like she could ask her father and that thought hurt, a single tear sliding down her cheek.

“I miss you, Dad,” she whispered as she looked around her room, wishing he was there to see it.

“Dinner’s done!” Dean yelled from the kitchen, roughly a half hour later as he put the last of the items on the table, still smiling. He also grabbed the little surprise he’d gotten for Maria and put it next to the place setting he’d hoped she’d sit, across from him.

Sam and Jess showed up first. Dean quickly moved so that neither of them would sit where he wanted Maria to, making them both stifle a chuckle. Dean sat down next to his brother, who smirked at him. He could feel his brother and Jess’s eyes on him, which were making him slightly nervous.

“What?” he asked, trying not to sound as defensive as he felt as his heart began beating a little quicker.

“Nothin,” Sam chuckled as he began setting up his plate.

Dean looked at the kitchen doorway, wondering where Maria was, “I’m sure she’ll be here in a couple minutes,” Jess told him as she set up her plate.

Dean grumbled a little before he finally started setting up his plate, cheeseburgers with all the fixings, and extra bacon with french fries. Just before he could take a bite, she walked in and he looked up at her. It didn’t seem to matter what she wore, he found her beautiful. Sweats and an oversized t-shirt with a faded picture of cats on it, and her hair was down. Jess and Sam watched Dean, smiling a little as they began eating. She didn’t look up at them, lost in her thoughts as she just sat down, not even realizing Dean was across from her or that he was watching her with his burger in his hands. Maria began setting up her plate but when she went to make her burger, she noticed the little container by her plate. When she picked it up and found it to be guacamole, she smiled a little. She added that to her burger before topping it off with all the fixings, except the pickles.

“Thanks, to whoever splurged on me,” she told them, with a small smile as she looked up. That was when she realized Dean was across from her and not at the end of the table. Normally he’d sat as far away from her as possible.

“You’re welcome, Sweetheart,” he replied with a happy smirk, then quickly frowned, “Sorry, uh… I mean, you’re uh, you’re welcome,” he fumbled before looking back down at his plate.

Jess couldn’t contain her giggle while Sam just smirked, and Maria blushed a little, “It’s okay. Um, thanks,” she told him, a bit shyly. She didn’t even know he knew she liked guacamole on her burgers.

Maria still couldn’t figure out why he was acting like he was but she also couldn’t get Jess’s words from earlier out of her head either. She didn’t see how Dean smiled when she’d said it was okay with calling her sweetheart but she did catch how Sam and Jess had reacted. Maria wasn’t ready to let her guard down, not with Dean, not yet.

“Dinner’s really good,” she finally told Dean, a softness in her words, only looking up at him for a moment.

It was the first time she’d ever complimented him on anything he’d made and it caused butterflies to start dancing around in his stomach. He did feel like a teenager, having no clue how to interact with his crush, who was so close yet so far away from him. Dean got up after a few minutes and got them each a beer, popping Maria’s open before he set it down near her plate. She looked up at him, her lips slightly parted in a soft surprise. Dean swallowed hard and had to look away, her lips looking far too kissable at that moment.

“Thanks,” she told him, still trying to wrap her head around his behavior.

He just nodded his head as he took a decent drink out of his beer, wanting to calm his nerves and get his thoughts on something other than her. Jess and Sam found the two utterly amusing but didn’t want to tease either of them and mess anything up that might happen. They’d save that for afterward.

Once dinner was over, Sam and Jess quickly disappeared, leaving the two alone, both of them rolling their eyes. They both had the same thought about it being deliberate, “Looks like we’ve got clean up,” Maria chuckled as she finished her beer.

“I swear, those two are up to something,” Dean said, still looking at the kitchen doorway.

“Well, they’re probably in their room if you want to go find out,” she replied casually as she began taking things to the sink.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed before he finished his second beer, then dared to look over at her. She seemed to glide across the floor effortlessly, “Does it still burn?” he asked her, curiously. After they got back from the store he had looked up why her tattoo had bothered her for as long as it had. When he realized it was due to Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS), he learned as much as he could about it. It had made total sense to him when he thought back to their interactions and he’d decided to keep that in mind from now on whenever he interacted with her.

“A little. That burn cream helps though, so it’s not bad right now,” she replied as she put the leftover toppings in the fridge.

Dean got up and took the rest of the dishes to the sink, getting a load ready but she stopped him, “You cooked. You shouldn’t have to wash the dishes too,” she told him, sincerely.

For a moment he couldn’t move as her hand was so soft on the top of his as he held the hot water knob. He felt his heart skip a beat at the contact and swallowed hard, “It’s okay. I don’t mind,” he told her, doing his best to not sound as anxious as he felt.

She looked up at him and tilted her head a bit. God, if only she knew how adorable she looked when she did that, he thought to himself, “Fine, then you can rinse the dishes but I’m washing them,” she told him, softly, but seriously.

He chuckled, hearing the seriousness in her tone, “Gonna need my hand back then,” he smirked at her.

That made her jump a little, not even realizing her hand had still been on his, and pulled it away quickly, “Oh, uh, sorry,” she apologized, somewhat nervously, in a shy way, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind her ear.

Dean moved around her so that he was on the other side of the sink as she moved to set up a load to wash. He leaned on the counter and waited, just watching her. He remembered how bright her smile and laughter always made a room when she would interact with his younger brother. Then how when she’d give him her attention she always seemed hard and tough. Now though, this was something else entirely and he could see it, a different kind of softness.

As she washed, he rinsed and placed them in the dish drainer. For half the load, neither of them spoke. Dean was just enjoying being close to her without her acting tough or perpetuating an argument. He watched the way her hands moved through the water and along the dishes as she washed them. The way her shoulders seemed slightly tense but mostly relaxed. He was so lost in his thoughts that he hadn’t even heard what she’d said.

“Dean, are you even listening?” she asked, glancing sidelong at him for a moment.

“Uh, sorry, what did you say?” he asked, attempting to hide his embarrassment.

She sighed and looked back down at the dishes, “I asked why you were being so nice to me. You’ve just been… different, almost all day,” she told him, washing the skillet she’d used for the burgers. Yeah, he’d stared when she got out of the shower but after the store trip, he’d seemed to have changed.

He stiffened a little, not entirely sure how to answer her. He wasn’t the best with words, not on this kind of topic. He could flirt, easily. Talk about monsters, any day. But this, why he had changed around her, he had no words, so he just shrugged as he looked down at the sink, “Figured I’d work harder on that whole, act civil toward each other rule,” he replied, in a fairly nonchalant, yet sincere way. He just hadn’t known what else to say.

“Oh…” she said quietly as she drained the sink and then cleaned it out.

She’d hoped there was another reason, especially with what Jess had told her, that she hadn’t been able to get out of her mind. His answer only made her question it more. It just didn’t make sense to her. Bobby and John were gone, so she figured he had no reason not to pick on her, but he was doing just the opposite.

Dean glanced over at her for a moment as she dried her hands on the towel on the stove and he felt like he had said something wrong. The problem though, he had no idea what the right thing to say to fix it was. He knew the awkwardness was only building between them the longer the silence drew out, “Want a beer?” he asked, then moved to the other side of her and grabbed himself one.

“No thanks,” she replied, again quietly.

She wasn’t in the mood to drink, not beer anyway, and she wasn’t about to grab the whiskey. She didn’t want to go down that path again, not after what she’d done to get clean. Maria watched Dean as he took his beer and headed out of the kitchen. She still couldn’t figure him out and wanted to stop thinking about it. Once she thought he was hopefully in his room, she headed out of the kitchen to her room, finding the war room and library empty as she passed through.

Maria closed her door behind her and then sat on her bed, glancing at the book that she’d left there earlier, “Well, it’s been a while. I guess I better decide,” she whispered at the book. She got comfortable, leaning against the headboard, book in hand. She then took a deep breath, opened it to Zamariel’s chapter, and began reading. It felt like every time she read that chapter, she always found something new written there or more information than had been there previously.

Hours passed as she read and before she knew it, the clock on her night table read ten forty-five. She groaned as she set the book next to the clock and changed into her pajamas before climbing under the covers and turning off the light. For at least a half hour she lay there in the dark, knowing the dream would come again, that she’d have to choose, and that scared her.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 19 - Pt 1

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