#he's having a normal one

[mothssmeat]

@ultraviolentdraws' gh0st asks a normal question

#mothart #pasko #he's having a normal one #all day every day

[childoferebus]

why the long face

#binary stars #taj na #my art #he's having a normal one #just realized I forgot to color his jacket buttons lol #I don't care enough to fix it #I need to get back into the habit of practicing #this is pre-canon by around a decade #given he isn't a complete waif #and still has his eyes lol

[schadenfreudich]

I sat "don't fall" to a ruler and Wolfgang said "too late", so I looked at him in headspace just lying on the ground for some reason

#he's having a normal one #-franz #about wolfgang

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[enderspawn]

unfortunately dnd podcasts have already peaked, specifically in 2015 when griffin mcelroy named an npc “garfield the deals warlock” but forgot to describe how he looked in the slightest so the entire collective fandom decided it was just straight up garfield the orange cat

#having a normal one abt garfield the deals warlock today lads #og post #taz #to be fair I don’t think Garfield ever technically got a Formal Description either way but. he’s just the lasagna cat #but like. fucked up and evil now. #hit tweets

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 271

“Grandmother is visiting,” Damian suddenly said with no warning and with his usual not-quite demanding tone. 

“Who?” Tim wasn’t the only one to startle, seeing as Bruce had practically froze, a downturn to his lips in a silent show of confusion. 

Damian scowled. “Are you deaf Drake? Grandmother is coming to Gotham to, quote, make sure I am being properly cared for.” None of them had known that Ras was with anyone actually. At least Tim was pretty sure that would have been in the files. 

“Oh?” Dick didn’t quite crouch to Damian’s height but it was a near thing. “She-” “He,” Damian corrected, interrupting him. They all exchanged a glance before Dick continued. 

“Is he coming to the Manor or…” 

Damian scoffed again, a tiny bit of a flush against his face. “No, Grandmother will most likely be staying with Akhi-”

Now wait one moment-

“YOU HAVE ANOTHER BROTHER?!” 

#DCxDP #DPxDC #Prompts #Deadly Decisions #Danny & Ras are the homoerotic rivals that no one knows if they’re flirting or attempting a murder #It’s actually both they’re just also both Immortal #Danny to Jason: You can become a crime lord if you finish college- you’ve said you wanted to get a degree this is ur chance #Dusan (nodding): Mother has made all of us finish at least our basic education nephew #Why yes this does mean that RH has just made the heads in a duffel bag debut & the bats have no clue it’s Jason #Normally Danny wanders the universe but RAS (affectionately derogatory) HOW DARE U TRY TO HIDE THE GRANDCHILDREN #Morally Gray Danny #He’s well over 300 and that has an affect lol #Also has some fun fae vibes thx to his ghost half & human half finally balancing out #Let Jason & Damian be brothers #Tiny Damian: Akhi look I found a frog :> #Jason (newly not brain damaged & has no clue who this small child is): …. That’s great #Tiny Damian: *GASP* Akhi you can talk now :D #Fuck it- all the Al Ghuls deserve fangs from ecto contamination #Is Danny actually Dusan & Talia’s mother? No one knows and no one wants to ask the probably immortal fae being okay #Danny brought Damian a ghost hound puppy & Jason an original signed Pride & Prejudice book #How come Bruce wasn’t aware of Danyal? Talia forgot to inform him that the mother she was speaking of is in fact still alive #He disappears for a decade sometimes longer she was using past terms how was he supposed to know

[kizzer55555]

DP x DC: The Most Dangerous Card Game

Ok so Danny has essentially claimed earth as his. And he is fully aware that there are constant threats to the planet. Now he can’t stop a threat that originates on earth (that’s something he’ll leave to the Justice league) but he can do something about outside threats. Doing some research on ancient spells, rituals, and artifacts, he cast a world wide barrier on the planet to protect it from hostile threats so they cannot enter. This will prevent another Pariah Dark incident. However, barriers like this come at a price. You see, there are two ways to make a barrier. Either make one powered up by your own energy and power (which would be constantly draining) or set up a barrier with rules. The way magic works is that nothing can be absolutely indestructible. It must have a weakness. The most powerful barriers weren’t the ones reinforced with layer after layer of protective charms and buffed up with power. Those could eventually be destroyed either by being overpowered, wearing them down, or by cutting off the original power source. No, the most powerful barriers were the ones with a deliberate weakness. A barrier indestructible except for one spot. A cage that can only be opened from the outside. Or that can only be passed with a key or by solving a riddle. So Danny chooses this type of barrier and does the necessary ritual and pours in enough power to make it. And he adds his condition for anyone to enter. 

Now the Justice league? Find out about the barrier when Trigon attempts to attack, they were preparing after he threatened what he would do once he got to earth. How he would destroy them. The Justice league tried to take the fight to him first but were utterly destroyed, so they retreated home to tend to their injuries, and fortify earth for one. Last. Stand. Only when Trigon makes his big entrance…he’s stopped.

The Justice league watch in awe as this thin see-through barrier with beautiful green swirls and speckled white lights like stars apears blocking Trigon and his army’s advance. The barrier looks so thin and fragile yet no matter how hard the warlord hits, none of his attacks can get through and neither can he damage said barrier. That’s when Constantine and Zatanna recognizes what this barrier is. Something only a powerful entity could create. For a moment, the league is filled with hope that Trigon can’t get through yet Constantine also explains that it’s not impenetrable. And clearly Trigon knows this too for he calls out a challenge. 

And that’s when, in a flash of light, a tiny glowing teenager appears. He looked absolutly minuscule compared to Trigon and yet practically glowed with power (this isn’t a King Danny AU though).

And that is when the conditions for passing the barrier are revealed. And the Justice realize that the only thing stopping Trigon and his army from decimating earth. The only way he can get through….is by beating this glowing teenager in a card game. 

Not just any card game though. The most convoluted game Sam, Danny, and Tucker invented themselves. It’s like the infinite realms version of magic the gathering, combined with Pokémon, and chess. And Danny is the master. So sit down Trigon and let’s play.

(The most intense card game of the Justice league’s life).

After Danny wins, this happens a few more times with outer word beings and possibly even demons attempting to invade earth, yet none have been able to beat the mysterious teenager in a card game. Constantine might even take a crack at it and try to figure out how to play. He’s really bad though. Every time this happens, the Justice league worry that this might be the time the teenager looses. Yet every time, he wins (even if only barely). 

Meanwhile, Danny, Sam, and Tucker have gotten addicted to the game and play it almost daily. Some teachers might seem them playing the game are are like ‘awww how cute’ not realizing this game is literally saving the world. Jazz is just happy they aren’t spending as much time on their screens playing Doomed.

#DPxDC #dcxdp #Danny makes a card game to save the world. #Technically he worded the ritual so that they had to ‘beat’ him as those are the most powerful barriers and most reliable. #keys can just get lost or stolen (like the one to Pariah’s Coffin) #A riddle would be useless once someone figured out the answer. Like how no one takes the sphynx seriously anymore. #(Sorry Tuck. But it’s true). #And there is NO WAY Danny is just leaving a hole open for anyone to pass through. No thank you! #So…beating him. But it’s not like Danny wanted to fight so…he edited the ritual a TINY bit. Card games are good. Much less painful too. #Danny Tucker and Sam made the most complicated card game they could imagine. #It’s based on their strategies for fighting ghosts. Capturing them in thermoses. And MUCH based on a on field battle strategy. #It often requires spontaneous thinking on the spot. So Danny? In his ELEMNT. It doubles as practice for his actual ghost battles too. #They had SO much fun making this. #Sam added an entire series of plant cards that act as traps and healing ointments and duds that just take up the field. #Tucker added legitimate hyroglyphics combined with Latin as well as English and ghost speak. #Yes. You actually have to speak that language to play. With proper pronunciation. (Amity Parker’s think the three are talking gibberish.) #I headcanon Sam and Tucker are fluent in Ghost. #Constantine WILL figure this game out SO HELP HIM! #Some of the cards also have combinations related to constellations either in name or placement on the board. #By the way the board is based on a Hexagonal summoning circle with Rhunes along the edges #And the placement of the cards on the board and on what rhune MATTERS. #Also the cards move disintegrate and have certain abilities. Think of Harry Potter Wizard Chess. #But they are normal when Danny plays at school. This is just for ✨effect✨ Against invaders. #Danny faces multiple opponents. He also halts alien invasions. #While Danny COULD stop crime on earth he’s not sure how to fight a normal human and hold back so he sticks to ghosts. #The Justice league are going crazy trying to figure out who this entity is and after deep research are convinced this is some sort of #Ancient being who has protected earth for millenia. They have paintings on ruins and everything. #Danny is not aware they think this. #Raven starts praying to Danny as if he is a god and wrangles the other Teen Titans into doing so as well. Danny is still unaware of this. #Danny is not a King or an ancient. Just a very VERY strong ghost.

[gravitysoda]

refusing an impossible wish and settling for one last game of chess.

#p5 #persona 5 #shuake #akeshu #p5r #persona 5 royal #goro akechi #akechi goro #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #joker #joker persona 5 #soda art #the artbook gave me brainrot and the strength to make a COMIC. extreme rarity for me #akechi in 3rd sem having a wish to play chess with joker in a world where theyre both happy and are able to lead normal lives is just...aug #but the fact of the matter is that he can't have that without sacrificing his free will and everything he stands for #so in this scenario i thought he could ask for a small microcosm of that wish #at least he gets another game with joker - even if he wants to play many more he'll settle for just one #they still can't play together without the baggage and without akechi feeling that he's burdening ren #but at least it's something. at least akechi gets to spend a little more time with him #and akechi makes a concerted effort to push ren away in the 3rd sem to avoid attachment #so this would be a “selfish”/vulnerable request on his part since it's something he wants but is sentimental #and will only make it harder for ren to lose him in the end #ANYWAY !!! they make me crazy <3

[theoldkyokodied]

[Hi Dennis. How was the lion feeding?...?]

This has been something I've been working on for quite a while now, as some people who look at my insta story might know, but I'm finally done!! those text messages from s14ep5 are so unhinged, they haunt me every goddamn day. To drop "i love you so much" just to follow it with what essentially is a "no homo.. for u... even tho u r so hot and i like you so much!". exploading them with my mind into a million pieces, okay?

#macdennis #macden #iasip #it's always sunny in philadelphia #dennis reynolds #mac mcdonald #charlie and dee are also there but like for one frame. not tagging them for that #btw i hope mac sexts like he texts. with ellipses and all. and we KNOW dennis would know about that too. i am giving them my best blankstar #i started drawing this before the zine i think. i worked on this so long and had to go back and fix things bc of course i chose the hardest #angles to draw <333 #i am normal about this show and have definitely not started a whole art class project oil painting based on it (sweating) #you can find these on the google drive folder btw. debating if i should add the painting without the text as well #*blank stare. reached character limit on the last two letters 🙄

[mearchy]

The best fics are the ones that recognize that although Luke Skywalker may APPEAR on the outside to be a normal friendly twink who happens to have cool powers, especially when contrasted with such ship partners as Boba or Din or even Han, he is arguably the scariest person alive in the galaxy around the prequel era. AND, crucially, he is also a fundamentally weird guy. This man was homeschooled on a rural farm his entire life and then apprenticed to a swamp gremlin who showed him how to tap into the cosmic power of the universe. He blew up the death star age 19, killing approx 2 million-ish Imperials. He is a vortex of Force power that can communicate with the ghosts of dead Jedi. He’s staring into the distance and mumbling to himself and doing Yoda aphorisms and casually pulling out the “yeah I could crush that guy into a paste with my mind (:” and nobody around him knows what to do with that. I think he is a character who has very little frame of reference for how a Jedi or a person in general is supposed to act and there is some thing about him that is by necessity really fucking weird and a little scary but he’s so nice that it can throw you off the scent a little bit. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

#This can be played for comedic value eldritch horror BAMF moments and also just overall weirdness. #not even in a manic pixie dream boy way but just like. #a very unsettling guy… and you don’t know why… #but he also exudes enough light and friendliness that everyone overlooks it #and now HAN is used to this #and leia does not care #but boba fett is doing the 😧 #and i just think that’s funny. #all jedi should be weird but luke is weirder because he doesn’t even have any context for this shit. #like normal jedi learn to be normal from the temple environment #or from being around lots of normal people. #so he’s like everything kind of Off about the jedi distilled into one friendly blond surfer dude. #star wars #original trilogy #ot #star wars original trilogy #luke skywalker #bobaluke #dinluke #the mandalorian #boba fett #din djarin

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lap Pillow

[First] Prev <–-> Next

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #wei wuxian #lan wangji #Confessions of a missed opportunity: I almost had LWJ in purple for this comic. #WWX gives him one of his layers to wear and it's never specified what colour it is. #We all love the red inner robe from CQL (And other illustrations) but sit with me for a moment. Think about LWJ in Jiang Purple. #Right now. Close your eyes and give it 5-10 seconds of rotation in your brain. #Welcome back. It's beautiful isn't it. As I write these notes I am upset that I backed out of going through with it. #I think I will simply have to draw it another time. If we get gusu lan white wwx we *need* yunmeng jiang purple lwj! #Anyways; this comic is the pinnacle of teen wangji's bursting-at-the-seams-emotionality that I love him for. #For my sanity I need that teen losing his mind and following bird rules (get fluffy - get blushy - keep beeping) #He is a loser nerd with a begrudging crush on a boy that he doesn't know how to be normal about. #LWJ seems like your typical 'cool guy love interest' until you realize that he's actually kind of soggy and pathetic. #My favourite lan wangji trait is that he's funny as all hell. I feel like wwx a bit because I had a character epiphany when I realized this

[vaxxman]

Could I request Medic having The Mom Grip on Scout’s shoulder after the speedy moron almost let a mercenary secret slip while they weee getting groceries?

Three Europeans and two Americans walk into a grocery store in New Mexico.

I hope this is the right meme.

More silliness below.

This comic is the antithesis of the "wtf is a kilometre" joke.

The faces they make when they can't quite identify the type of brown bread in the bread aisle.

You don't know how [insert nationality here] you are until you go overseas and things are different.

Spy obviously has no problems with pretending to know how much a gallon of milk is, he just peeks into his conversion chart notes, pretending it's his shopping list.

I want to think Heavy is completely fine with having to readjust to a new unit system, he just eyeballs most practical things anyways by holding them up and mumbling about how they approximately weigh like a chicken or his kettle bell etc. He's always been living in practical ignorant bliss.

Medic has a peer reviewed meltdown the first time he realises there's no uniformity in "a cup of ____" because every object has different densities. He's diligent about memorising the conversion rates for ounces, pounds, the most common things etc., and recovers ok. He goes through the same stages of grief rage when he finds out about distances and lengths.

Just remember four inches are 10.16 cm and pray no one asks you to specify anything bigger than inches.

Everyone does a mental victory lap when they manage to guess how much Celsius the weather is because they keep forgetting it's Celsius*5/9+32=Fahrenheit, Engineer reminds them patiently.

The true victories are the correct temperature guesses we've made along the way.

One time, a friend asked me if I actually knew how much a tablespoon of flour was in gramms to convince me that metric users also make use of volume based units without thinking about them. But little did she know a heaped spoonful of 405 flour is about 15g and a level tablespoon is 10g.

They claim Oolong just tastes better when it's boiled to 80°C exactly with a Bunsen burner.

You only asked for one scene but somehow I came up with a bunch of other things. This post was drawn across 2 months so the artstyle is all over the place. Thanks for your ask!

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 medic #tf2 scout #tf2 spy #tf2 heavy #tf2 soldier #Medic's reaction to a stick of butter is 100% based on my own reaction after reading an American recipe for the first time #Like I didn't know butter in America came in this normed stick-form I genuinely thought it was some arbitrary unit like ??? A Stick?? #As in I didn't know if the recipe required the butter to be in this specific shape; like sometimes you have to add butter in shaves or molt #no biggie lemme whittle away at my butter block until it's shaped like a stick? And then I learnt it was the portions that butter comes in #Cut me some slack; I'm used to recipes using eggs as the scale-up ingredient; not butter #I also learnt that medical labels is where metric units are mostly encountered simply because medicine is international #But that is the main reason why I think Medic would not realise he'd have to deal with imperial units until he goes grocery shopping #The man's just been ignoring the “oz” information right below everything he's ever used; out of sight out of mind #I want to think Engi is the most normal person about the entire metric-imperial-units thing he just does some mental arithmetic and done #King just learned système international d'unités during one of his 11 phds; it's not unrealistic

[lotus-pear]

the fine people of bsd tumblr have asked for fem skk and i shall give it to them

#bsd one of the realest animes out there for having unisex outifits i didn't have to change anything (yes this probably defeats the point) #i normally hate feminized male characters bc nine times out of ten they become hypersexualized and/or lose their og outfit #bc ladies can't wear pants?? god forbid. no. give them a miniskirt or ridiculously skintight see through leggings/stockings #i was extremely normal drawing this tbh. i totally wasn't falling in love w my own sketch. god i love women <33 #also if any one of you points out that chuuya looks the same but w longer lashes i will cry😭 #i couldn't give him long hair he looked too different pls hear me out ik i robbed you guys but pls forgive me #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #chuuya nakahara #nakahara chuuya #soukoku #skk #fem soukoku #fem skk #(<- is that a tag???) #bsd #lotus draws

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

#this is objectively bad advice #don't listen to it protect yourself and do real work on yourself find one of the good posts i've made about this #but also. u know. if u want to have fun while u do the work of setting boundaries #.... it IS fun #i will say that my fear of him went SO down after i just started. fucking with him. #bc i used to get SO fucking upset #i'd spend WEEKS arguing with him. tearing my hair out. sick with anxiety and dread and anger about all of it #and now i just LITERALLY do not engage #instead i'm like '' haha :) mole people" and get the HELL out of any tense conversation #i kind of think some of these people are literally addicted to drama as a form of connection #they like the rush they get from arguing #but those arguments are incredibly damaging for me #so like..... i am in the process of literally rehabilitating this person to figure out how to find connection thru #NORMAL CONVERSATION #he doesn't get it yet #i also do talk to them like they're preschool kids lmafo . ''are you using a safe and kind voice right now?'' #'' do you need a snackie? you sound a little upset. let's have some hummus and come back to playtime when we feel ready''

[kagoutiss]

pelican town, ‘72

#stardew valley #stardew valley spoilers #sdv #sdv spoilers #grandpa #mister qi #mr. qi #idk how dates work in stardew universe im just bullshittin #i love qi’s huge fucking eyebrows you dont notice them at first but theyre there #(gives our collective grandpa a ponytail) i think he had one. whatever #’why isnt mister qi blue’ my hc is he is blue from long-term iridium supplementation #and was originally just a regular person #but also it’s nice to see ur fav be like a normal human color #if u read tag essays tho consider this: #qi discovers secret to immortality (consuming iridium in a specific manner) #wants to share discovery with his farmer (player’s grandpa) and in that way. they will have all the time in the world to build #a perfect farming/business empire whose legacy will last forever and ever and theyll be 2gether forever #but it turns out. like a lot of normal people would. his farmer does not want to live forever #and obv he doesn’t #in an attempt to try not to ever lose the thing that means more to him than anything else in the world. qi inadvertantly ensures he will #because his farmer is dead. and he’s going to live forever #but. it’s kind of ok. because he has infinite money and was able to figure out how to talk to his dead bf #and now YOU help them fulfill their joint goal of making the farm’s legacy last forever #smile. heart #sobbing

[marc--chilton]

house hates being pitied up until he can weaponize his disability and it's honestly kind of a serve. he got wilson to get under the sink just by being a little pathetic for a second. like wilson just took over like fine i'm doing this now just give me the thing (getting on his knees in his nice pressed slacks)

#house md #hilson #this happening years after the infarction too so like wilson is mostly immune to house being like :( my leg #like he's the most.... normal? about house's leg but also when house shows his neediness wilson can't stop himself #i am thinking much too hard about them today they are peculiar they have strange idiosyncrasies with one another