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monstersinthecosmos · 7 months

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As a fellow Marius lover, I always find it kind of disheartening how most of the content/fandom talk about him (meta, fic, fanart, etc.) revolves around m/m ships (Marius/Armand in particular but I’d even go as far to include Marius/Daniel here) when, in my opinion, Marius is like the one male character in the VC universe whose relationships with women are far more interesting than his relationships with other men (the only other character might be Lestat but even then it’s pretty 50/50). They’re so monumental and so full of complexities and pain and so much love and they define him and inform his character in ways that I think, his relationships with men simply do not. Interesting/hot under the right circumstances? Sure but like ARE YOU GUYS SEEING THIS MAN??? AND HOW HE RELATES TO WOMEN??? It’s one of the best things Anne ever wrote and I can never get enough of it and it makes me sad how little content there is of it and I feel I can never say this out loud because I would never want to make people feel bad about what they ship (truly not my intention here) but ugh SO MUCH potential there for life changing discourse and meta about Marius and the women he’s loved and lost and have shaped who he is and there’s like… nothing.

Tl;dr the reason I’m sending this ask is because I’m a firm believer that you must be the change you want to see in this world and because YOU get it! And every time you post or write about Marius/Pandora (or Marius/Akasha! Or talk about Marius/Bianca) an angel gets its (black) wings. You are seen, you are loved and appreciated tysm <3

OKAY FIRST OF ALL THIS WAS SUCH A DELIGHT TO GET IN MY INBOX, SECOND IM GOING TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST AND ADMIT I FEEL TOO INCOHERENT TO TACKLE THIS TOPIC HAHA. I don’t feel articulate enough to do it justice. And I don’t say that to be obnoxious and self deprecating but like in all honesty idk how to synthesize it neatly but I think you’re sharing some GREAT IDEAS.

I have to say this in bullet points because I don’t feel equipped to string this into a cohesive post:

Marius was based on Anne’s husband, and Marius/Pandora was based on their marriage!!!!! And I think it explains a lot about why their relationship feels so fuckin POTENT to me, like it’s so genuine!!!!!!! And like knowing that I think it makes sense why she wrote him so HOT lol. Like she’s just writing thirsty stuff about her husband right? LOL

Also like insofar as there’s a lot of genderfluidity in VC there’s also something vaguely misogynist about it at times. And Anne Rice was a mega feminist and her work had so much womens lib in it!!!!! So I don’t think it’s intended as misogyny at all vs. Anne having conversations about gender and maybe her own relationship to gender. I think enough characters have said vaguely misogynist stuff that it makes me think it’s an Anne Problem vs being Watsonian. (This is also a historical/time period issue and we can discuss another time if and when vampires are supposed to break out of that when they transcend humanity and social constructs even when they’re still saying weird sexist shit at their big ages.) But I say that to say all VC characters are a tad sexist, even if perhaps she was writing with the intention of her own male power fantasy/male superiority/penis envy. AND THAT MAKES MARIUS VERY INTERESTING.

Cause like really the three main ladies in his life (Akasha, Pandora, Bianca) DO define him so much! And we don’t see him pine for Armand the way he did for any of them! Why!!!

Like there’s that aspect of sexism where women can be infantilized by men who don’t think they’re being unkind and it makes me wonder, especially when the author is a boomer, like where is that line between condescension and respect? I don’t have an answer here, this is too big-brained for me LOL but like he is SO devoted to the women in his life and I just wonder like if he sees them as creatures unlike himself, you know?

This is headcanon territory but I bet he’s such a fucking sub to Pandora lol and it just thrills me that he spent 2000 years begging Akasha for affection and she ignored him the whole damn time wow. And he continued to simp!

AND ALSO LIKE, I think people DO NOT DISCUSS THIS OFTEN ENOUGH, but did we forget that he chose Armand because he needed a Bianca rebound? He was absolutely TORTURED by his love for Bianca and picked Armand because he didn’t want to kill her oh my god. Oh my god!!! HE KEPT HER LETTER IN HIS POCKET OVER HIS HEART OKAY??? HE DIDN’T WANT TO DRAG HER INTO HIS COLD AND FATAL DOMAIN????? Fuck lol

It’s so fucked up that he didn’t go after Armand but spent like actual fucking millennia trying to find Pandora. HE KNEW EXACTLY WHERE ARMAND WAS AND LEFT HIM THERE LOL BUT PANDORA HAUNTED HIM EVERY NIGHT OF HIS LIFE FOR CENTURIES.

After everything he wound up spending like 200 years with Bianca or something and ?????? CORRECT because Bianca was the fledgling he actually wanted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But it’s odd, I know I’ve said this 337589235 times, but Marius like. Has an idea of the person he wants to be and he tries SO HARD to live by logic & reason and he just can’t reconcile with the fact that he has EMOTIONS. And so like part of the person he wants to be like, open/empathetic/wise and he begs his lovers/students/fledglings to CHALLENGE HIM when he’s not actually healed enough to be challenged? And to me there’s something kinda like, extra spicy about it when you’re in Rice World and you’re a lil sexist; how much that burns EXTRA when it’s Pandora or Bianca sticking up to you or AKASHA FUCKIN IGNORING YOU.

Just really incredible that this person who is like the epitome of a patriarch has such fucked up relationships with all the women in his life. And like he underestimates these women, like the way he tries to manipulate Bianca and she leaves him! PANDORA AND AKASHA ARE UNAVAILABLE TO HIM AND BIANCA FUCKIN LEAVES.

akasSHA JUST IGNROING HIM!! JUST STRAIGHT UP FUCKIN IGNORING HIM FOR 2,000 YEARS!!!! HE'S OBSESSED WITH HER!

Anyway Enkil is ignoring him too but he doesn’t give a shit about that guy tbh lol

Also the amount of space he gives Eudoxia and Zenobia in his book like there’s more here too but tbh it’s midnight and I can’t start unpacking. I just think like, in 2000 years it’s interesting how Eudoxia wound up having such a lasting impact on his life.

I did just peek at the Eudoxia part and I’m dying, he goes “Her face was small, oval, and as close to perfection as anything I've ever beheld, even though she bore no resemblance to Pandora who was for me perfection itself.” CERTIFIED WIFE GUY.

What kinda mommy issues are we dealing with here? HIS MOTHER WAS A SLAVE THAT DIED IN CHILDBIRTH AND HE INHERITED HER GENES AND LOOKED LIKE HER AND DIDN’T LOOK LIKE HIS FATHER & BROTHERS? AND HE’S SORT OF AN OUTCAST AS A HUMAN LIKE ? THE STIGMA HERE? AND THEN HE SPENDS 2000 YEARS WORSHIPPING HIS NEW MOTHER??? PERHAPS YOU COULD SAY ENSLAVED TO HER? IDK MAN.

IS THIS ALSO WHY HE WAS SO OBSESSED WITH LOSING PANDORA?

The irony too, and something I think a lot of people miss, is that he DIDN’T WANT TO MARRY PANDORA LOL. He wanted to be betrothed to a child so that he could FUCK OFF and NOT get married because she wasn’t old enough to get married! He fucked off! He went exploring! He said this is not for me!

AND TO GO OUT INTO THE WORLD AND BE MURDERED BY HIS MOTHERS PEOPLE???? IDK.

I’m not sure how these last two points tie into anything but I just wanted to mention his complicated relationship with Pandora and his own heritage lol. And then Akasha like DELIVERS Pandora to him because she’s like “wow this guy needs somebody lol and I am not emotionally available” — Akasha who was famously a violent genocidal radfem and who would not approve of his relationship with Armand but explicitly allowed him to have Pandora and Bianca. IDK WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN!

Did Akasha approve of these women because she knew Marius was completely pussywhipped and would worship them and she wanted to see someone mommydom the fuck out of him and she knew that Armand would never be that person? 🫢

And again I want to say like, taking the author into consideration!! Anne Rice had a HORRIFIC relationship with her mom so you see these themes pop up occasionally in her work. DESPITE ALL OF THAT SHE IS STILL A FEMINIST AND WRITES ABOUT MATRILINEAR FAMILIES like The Great Family or the Mayfairs. But thinking about Mothers in Anne Rice Works makes me think a lot about this like, the damage they can do and the voids they can leave even when you’re a feminist and love women! You see a TON of this with Gabrielle and I always think that Lestat & Marius are such similar characters that you can do a lot of extrapolating or backwards engineering to ask questions about them and how they work, since we get SO MUCH Lestat POV in this series to work with and how we can zoom out sometimes and ask like, what is common across her entire body of work and what is more specifically common between Lestat & Marius and WHAT EVEN MORE INTERESTINGLY is a result that they were both based on her husband in their inceptions.

Like how much of this has to do with Marius’s actual feelings towards men vs women on purpose, or how much was subconscious author bias, how much was simply that Anne Rice based him on her husband and she was THIRSTY, idk. It’s always hard to say in VC because Anne was such an intuitive and self-indulgent author and the stories are so weird!!! So your mileage may vary!

But I agree with you that these are FASCINATING relationships!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I like Marius/Armand too (I recently made a post about how I didn’t “””””ship”””” them but then I spent 2 months working on a M/A fic every day and now I think I’ve corrupted and converted myself LMAO) but yeah like. There’s such a lack of substance between them in the end. He treats Armand like he’s temporary, fucks up and moves on, and it’s such a departure from how DEVOTED he was with all his other partners.

Wow I didn’t think I had a lot to say, sorry about that. !!! EVERY TIME I BROUGHT A POINT UP I THOUGHT OF 5 MORE POINTS GOSH I COULD TALK ABOUT MARIUS ALL DAY.

#tldr he has mommy issues #marius de romanus #vampire chronicles #thank you hekateinhell for discussing this with me in DM so that i could scream and yell and make sense of it!#hekate is mommy issues expert she helped unlock some bonus points!#deep ass thoughts about vampires #also i wanted to keep fandom discourse out of this bc i dont got time but this is like #such a timeless topic in fandom spaces about the popularity of mlm ships vs het or wlw ships #and like what that all means #it's been discussed to death and i don't think it's a condemnation of fandom at all #it just is what it is #so this is always going to be the case when it comes to fandoms & female characters #but i think people need to stop complaining about shit like that HAHA #fandom is a potluck yknow #like you gotta participate and make your own contributions too #marius is already such a divisive character i'm not gonna split hairs about who we're shipping him with LMAO THE POOL IS ALRAEDY TOO SHALLO #but i would love to put more bianca & pandora content into the world!!!#and like you i do not want this to sound like i'm being salty abotu what anyone ships! it's all good my dudes!#akasha #akasha/marius #bianca solderini #marius/bianca #pandora #marius/pandora

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sadlybeans · 1 year

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✨Batfam: They’re known as…✨

Batman: Tired Dad #1. This is just universal knowledge, he is always Done With Your Shit, regardless of if he’s dealing with his kids or with the rogues. He’s the second most memeable.

Nightwing: Dick’s a little popular because he’s sexy BUT most in Gotham feel betrayed that he’s left so he’s actually the least liked of all the batfam lol. Those who are his fans tend to lean towards him because of his days as Robin, not as Nightwing.

Red Hood: Jason’s known both as the sexiest (have you seen THOSE THIGHS???) and the most available. He’ll be there if you need someone beaten up or if you just want company walking home. He’s simply A Gentleman (who happens to swear a lot and kill people, but a gentleman nonetheless).

Black Bat: She’s known as the most supportive. Cass doesn’t communicate much because most people don’t know sign language, but she’s a great listener and she tends to stay with the people she helps until she knows they’re going to be safe. She also tends to visit again if said person is in an unstable situation, to check up on them.

Spoiler: Steph’s really popular with the ladies as much as she’s disliked by men, because she doesn’t take shit from anyone and is always willing to kick an asshole’s butt. She’s also widely known as the source of Batfam content, because she’s always posting videos of the boys being idiots.

Red Robin: Tim’s the most memeable. Every single time he’s out on patrol, new pictures will turn up on twitter of him having The Worst Time. Naturally, he’s also known for being addicted to coffee.

The Signal: Duke’s simply the normal one. He’s one of the most loved because he can be relatable and chaotic, while still being sane unlike the others.

Robin: Damian’s known for being dangerous and aggressive by the older generations, however the younger ones LOVE HIM. He’s mega competent, while still being feral and having zero impulse control, which makes him relatable. They also love him because his soft spots are visible through his care for animals, and he’s the most likely to jump into a fight to defend you without you needing to ask. So basically; Boomers and Gen X go ‘Smh, someone needs to straighten that kid’, and Millenials and Gen Z go ‘Baby boy. Baby’.

#batfam #batfam headcanons #batkids #batman #nightwing #red hood #black bat #spoiler #red robin #the signal #robin #ofc i dont have a soft spot for jason and damian #what makes you think that #i love all of them equally #(i say like a filthy liar)

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usuratongaychi · 1 month

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On Sakura

I hated sakura so much when watching the show, yet when you list out her achievements it DOES LOOK LIKE SHE IS USEFUL, so why when actually watching the show does all of that disappear? Why is she so hated in the fandom?

(Ignoring the fact that this is a shounen based anime, where the main fanbase is a bunch of misogynistic men)

From a writing standpoint, kishimoto doesn't have the best outlook on women. In my personal opinion, I really dislike how women are portrayed in the series. A lot of it falls under the “nagging wife” archetype, which just reminds me a lot of those old boomer jokes abt hating women or hating their wife.

Also, when i talk about disliking sakura, I’m not talking about her in the OG. I mean, she was 12-13 then, and most 12yr olds are annoying. Comparatively to Naruto and Sasuke, she lived a pretty privileged life, so I think her attitude was justified. Both Naruto and Sasuke had their…moments…as well.

I think in a lot of the filler, they trump up her personality to the point where its annoying, similarly with naruto but bc hes male and also a mega idiot already, it isnt talked about. Filler isnt present in the manga, so manga readers tend to appreciate her more.

here is where i get a little biased..

Comparatively to naruto and sasuke’s connection (they are literally soulmates, platonically or romantically), her romance with sasuke is so flat and one dimensional. Shounen in general as a genre focuses so much on male characters development. It honestly feels like their romance was hastily thrown together at the end of the series. This makes her devotion to him seem shallow and vain.

(This next part is only really applicable to shippuden and somewhat in the OG series i dont really expect a 13yr old with no jutsu to be the best fighter)

I feel like the series intentionally makes her, and really every woman character weaker in terms of endurance (besides Tsunade). Like it feels like the writers say "thats enough fighting for a girl, make her get knocked out" 20secs into a fight. I remember watching her battle with Sasori and being so excited for her to be a badass in shippuden..only for a bunch of episodes to pass and not really getting that same feeling again. To be fair, I wonder if i would have felt the same if I skipped filler episodes. Regardless, I think she could have been more involved in combat, I would have loved to see that from her. “But she’s a healer!!” she can fight also, doesn’t she do that in Boruto? She can do both.

I also think the studio fucks her over a LOT. Theres a few other moments of her in the anime saying some pretty outrageous things, one of them being “I wish i had parents I could respect a bit more, I’d be better off without them….Why’d you have to be here now? If it was Sasuke, I know he would understand”, to an orphan, which is wild as fuck. I can’t remember if that episode was filler or not, but some of the lines they give her are just outright insane. I can’t think of a sane character that would say that.

In conclusion to this essay of a post..

Fuck The Writers.

#sakura haruno #sakura get behind me i will protect you from these writers #haruno sakura #im sorry i actually hate kishimoto

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chaotic-goodsir · 2 months

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Good morning, might I interest anyone in some hyperfixated rambling re:

1) Me being wrong about Wilbur Cross and John Macnamara's canon ages.

2) The newly explained Mega Bastards SaF lore (I know it's just Actor Curt Mega's headcanon but it's canon to me now)

3) The implications for my hcs about Wilbur being the Spankoffski bros uncle and John being related to Curt?

Keeping it under a readmore so I don't annoy everyone about this, because I have a lot of thoughts.

So it turns out I misunderstood John and Wilbur's canon ages in Black Friday.

According to the wiki they're around 42 and around 44 respectively in 2019. I'd imagined them as being 10 years older than this and therefore in their early 30s back in 1998, but in fact they should have been only 21 and 23 in that Saf/Hatchetverse crossover fic I wrote a while ago, and they were only 28 and 30 when the portal incident happened.

The question of whether Wiley can physically age post-2005 makes this interesting, though. Was Wilbur 44 in 2005, making Wiley eternally 44? That would mean that pre-portal Wilbur was a whole 15 or 16 years older than John, which works well I guess for the canon mentor-mentee context but not so well for my own MacNaCross headcanons. I think such a big age difference would change their dynamic a lot, plus I prefer the idea of Wilbur having been promoted at a fairly young age for a PIEP colonel.

For those reasons I'm gonna go with Wilbur being 30 in 2005 and Wiley being technically 44 in Black Friday, whether or not he ages in a normal human way. The most tragic implication of this is of course that I can't call Wilbur/Wiley a boomer anymore, since being born in 1975 makes them definitely Gen X :(

But it would also make the age difference between Wil and Annie (a Hatchetfield OC of mine who is Wil's sister and Pete and Ted's mom) much larger. Ted was born in 1984, so Annie would have to be at least 10 years older than Wilbur.

Having a 10 year age difference between the Cross Siblings would be kinda cool (it parallels the Spankoffski bros age difference!!) but it does mean rethinking all my headcanons about their sibling dynamic. Plus it would make Wilbur less than 10 years older than Ted and an actual uncle since the age of 9.

- Implications for my headcanons about where the Uncle Wiley character/voice came from? Perhaps.

- Would Ted have known Wilbur better when he was growing up? Seems more likely, especially if Annie helped her younger sibling out when he left home.

- What about Ted and Wilbur knowing each other around the time of the Jenny incident and the portal? Or when Pete was born in 2002? Or Homeless Ted's reasons for queuing up in Black Friday?

MUCH to consider and perhaps draw or write about some time.

Anyway. On a different note:

Combining Actor Curt Mega's headcanon about Agent Curt Mega having several illegitimate children with John and Wilbur's canon ages, it's completely possible (if you like SaF/Hatchetverse crossovers) for John Macnamara to be Curt's grandson.

If John is around 42 in TGWDLM and Black Friday, then he was born around 1976. So his mother or father could easily have been born in the early fifties as one of the illegitimate children resulting from Curt's spy activities. And it's likely John wouldn't know this, if the truth was kept a secret from him - which it probably would be, if his grandmother's line of work/status was the kind where you end up being seduced for espionage reasons by the world's greatest spy.

Again: Much to think about.

#hatchetverse #hatchetfield #starkid #spies are forever #wilbur cross #john macnamara #ted spankoffsi #time bastard #black friday starkid #agent curt mega #macnacross

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rayisalive · 1 year

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Im gonna bully everyone just for the fact i can, LOVINGLY! /hj

Im abt to make a buncha simps angry /j

**I DO MEAN THIS ALL AS A JOKE-**

Riddle: yknow i would say “hows the ground” but im shorter than him sooooo- ngl him in his dorm uniform be looking like a semi-used tampon-nhe could commit a murder though and u cant see the blood bc of the red though lol. Hes got the boots, the cape, why bot just become a superhero or add some sparkles and become a drag queen idfk

Tr*y: ew. Broccoli head deku ripoff walmart dude with nike ass eyebrows, how ur dad gonna look better than u??? Evil smirk of death, id rather kiss gargamel

Cater: hes addicted to magicam and thats a problem he gonna become a clout chaser instagram bitch (/j) carrot face, should i feed him to judy hopps???

Ace: ✨ nope ✨

Deuce: i dont wanna- uhhhh- dummy but he has an excuse and i respect that- honestly how do i bully him- cant make fun of the chicken egg thing bc i learned it with him-

Leona: lazy? Ew. Furry? Double ew. Smug bitch? Triple ew. Works ruggie to the brim? Quadruple ew. Those shoes? Quintuple ew. That hair? Sextuple ew. Ur bed? Love it but ew probably sweat on it and he too lazy to clean it and u dont wanna make ruggie do it so u can lay on tbe bed nasty bitch.

Ruggie: furry whos addicted to donuts, and probably robbing people. He should be on dr. phil, “Hyena addicted to robbing people” or a dhar mann show “hyena loves robbing people, lives to regret it”

Jack: this is him mid-transformation

Smh /j

Azul: ur a monsterfucker if hes ur fave, arent ya?(unless ur asexual then same hh-) need more corruption, need more businessman, need more capitalism. Also need more purple hair dye for yall to be calling his hair purple in fanfics its moreso periwinkle, specifically periwinkle silver(/j no need to be specific idrc lol)

Jade: his mushrooms taste bad, 2/10 for easy acess aka breaking his door down and forcibly taking them (/j) fr though who cut u and ur brothers hair like what????

Floyd: eh- same as jade tbh except instead of mushrooms im taking ur snacks

Also please clean ur room before shit grows and well- yeah- pretty self-explanatory, ur overtaken by it and become a mindless monster with one job, kill jade /j

Kalim: too naive, eat snake in front of jamil (/j) he reminds me of emma from tpn

Jamil: dance dance?? Dont have an opinion oh him so snake hair, UMA FROM DESCENDANTS- /j

Vil: done and done

Epel: bbygirl five words only, please dont gender dance moves-

Rook: french dora. Stalker. Berries and cream man haircut.

Idia: and i quote myself, “THE SHUT IN INTROVERT SMELLY GOOFY NERDY GEEKY VIDEO GAME OBSESSED ANIME LOVER BLUE HAIRED AZULAS BLUE FIRE IDIA SHROUD?”

Ortho: baymax 2.0 except not better- u want me to bully a kid whos not a kid????

Malleus: horny boy (this stems from a joke abt his dragon horns for the love of the sevens please no more sex jokes-) how much do u think he has to pay in damages for them breaking dorways as he walks??

Lilia: peepaw. Grampy. Old. Boomer. Mega boomer. Scene kid wannabe. Emo girl wannabe. Emo boy wannabe.

Silver: slep

Sebek: loud, uptight, gReEn, hair??? Ugly, very ugly.

You thought i was gonna leave out the staff and rsa? No.

Crowley: lazy ass bitch who wont do his own work im not afraid to take him to the nearest kfc to be cooked chicken

Trein: old.

Crewel: crewel sounds like cool. What not cool? His pet kink (/j)

Vargas: no- just- no-

Neige: hair needs some fixing- please-

Che’nya: shes better. She slays. She queen. Ur nothing compared to her (/j) her mom cool too

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irithnova · 1 year

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More aph Mongolia headcanons:

Nowadays he is pretty chill/nonchalant but can come off as a bit aloof to a lot of people.

Resting bitch face 😍 Nah but he isn't really one to smile often. He probably gives other nations the classic "awkward smile you give to your coworker" smile sometimes when walking past them but you really need to say/do something hilarious to get a smile out of him.

Whether he is more smiley or not depends on what nations he's interacting with though.

Despite seeming aloof to people he is genuinely quite warm and down to earth once you actually start talking to him. It's just that in large groups he's more of an observer during group conversations and only really speaks up when he feels like he needs to.

This might give people the impression that he's shy but really he's just taking all the information in.

He's pretty politically savvy and is good at managing his foreign relations well for the most part! (for example, the landlocked between Russia and China situation and Mongolia's special relationship with North Korea).

Actually takes pride in his long and healthy hair a lot but doesn't really bring it up, he waits for others to mention it before he starts talking about it and how he maintains it haha.

He can be quite charismatic when needed in certain situations (trust me he knows how far charisma can get someone)

Can act like a bit of a boomer (I consider him an ancient but he's kind of one of the babies in the ancient nation grouping) sometimes towards things like texting, for example he probably complains when people use shortforms of words because he doesn't fully know all the shortforms.

In addition I headcanon him to be a tiny bit of a boomer about religion. He's definitely not as religious as say, Tibet, but he probs is a tad disappointed about the younger generations turning away from Buddhism (one of my friends who's from Mongolia told me apparently halloween was banned in some schools because it was distracting kids from Buddhism or something??).

However he is all for religious freedom sooo if they don't wanna do that they shouldn't feel obligated to.

Despite what I've just said about his boomer shenanigans, I don't think Mongolia is totally adverse to/hates technology! He's not as technology crazy as China but come on its not like he doesn't know how to use a phone or computer lol. Plus many Mongolian nomads have adapted new technologies to their way of life anyways (like the use of solar panels and TVs, plus so many nomads are on tiktok?!)

So I like to think he is interested in new technologies actually but isn't really an enthusiast like other nations. He definitely likes/finds comfort in the traditional way of life but also isn't stuck in the past. Though he does ask for South Korea's help with some things sometimes hahah.

Probably sends good morning texts like this to nations he likes:

No he does not translate it for them

I don't headcanon him as super mega depressed about his current situation and to an extent he is grateful that he's still even around. But I think it's unrealistic to say that there are things which won't get him down y'know? A lot has happened since the 13th century and not of all it has been good.

So while he does have bad memories and there are the obvious struggles of being a nation, I think he has a lot of resilience. Some people think that resilience means that you aren't bothered by hard times at all, but to me it means despite the hard times affecting/hurting you, you keep pushing forward.

Umm he loves watermelon. I've heard Mongolians really like watermelon??

Best throat singer on this planet I will die on this hill

Gives performances at naadam and wrestling events

Probably gets into regular arguments with his government tbh

This sounds weird but I think he actually kind of enjoys bickering with China sometimes (and vice versa). He'd be like "well I'm bored, I'm gonna go and pick a fight with China now."

Russia + Mongolia = alcoholic pair 😍

Nah but on a more serious note, he's not scared of Russia but he just finds interacting with him awkward sometimes. Plus he catches himself doing things like using a cloth to wipe crumbs off of Russia's face, and only then realises afterwards that what he did was odd LMAO.

Is close to South Korea and they talk on the phone often, most of the time it's just him listening as South Korea babbles on about his day but he quite enjoys it.

Close to North Korea too and defends him whenever someone says something bad about him in a conversation. Really cares about him.

He and Japan are buddies!! Okay the invasions of Japan were embarrassing and there was also Khalkin Gol (World War 2) but honestly they have the same kind of interests? Wrestling for example. There are many Mongolians who go into sumo actually and two of the best sumo wrestlers/yokozunas (Asashoryu and Hakuho) are from Mongolia! So they probably watch sumo matches with each other.

Also Mongolian dominance in sumo is just funny as hell BYE

Mongolia + China = divorced as fuck 😍💅 and China took the kids

Most divorced mfs in Asia

Russia and China enjoy annoying him sometimes by taking his glasses off of his face or randomly grabbing his braid.

If he's not Tibet's husband then they're at least extremely close with one another. Bro the title "Dalai Lama" exists because of Mongolia😔✌️ they're each others confidants and tell each other their deepest darkest secrets 😍

He and India are pretty close too!! They have a long history with each other and have backed each other up in more modern history!

I think he and Vietnam actually get along tbh. I've said in my ship post that I ship him with her and yeah they both admire and recognise each others resilience plus Mongolia respects her for beating his ass 😍 plus I saw a really interesting picture of Mongolians protesting the war in Vietnam!

Some translations: "Americans, take your claws away from Vietnam!"

"People of Vietnam always win!" (hahah)

"American imperialists stop bombing Vietnam!"

Also apparently quite a few Mongolians studied in Vietnam back then and vice versa (socialist era). Sorry they're just so powerful together!

Isn't as close with the central Asian nations as he feels like he should be? Though officially he is classified as an East Asian country, Mongolian culture is very different compared to those in the Sinosphere and is more similar to the central Asians, especially Kazakhstan. There's just not enough trade and politics going on between them for him to interact with them much but he does like them.

However I do think he is friends with Kazakhstan. In Western Mongolia, there is the Bayan-Olgii province, and this is where many Kazakhs fleed to, to escape the Russians! Since then, Kazakhs who live in far west Mongolia have maintained their traditional/original Kazakh lifestyle while Kazakhstan itself became quite Russified. I think Kazakhstan likes to visit there every so often to see how they're doing and Mongolia accompanies him.

He's really good friends with Turkey but REFUSES to wrestle with him (he has seen those Turkish oil wrestling videos and is terrified)

There's literally a joint Mongolian-Turkish school in Mongolia called "MonTurk" (full version "Mongolian-Turkish highschool") omg their ship name 😍

I think he probably tells Turkey to tell Turks to stop spamming any video to do with Mongolian culture with Turkish flags tho (in a jokey way of course)

The meme that influenced this headcanon:

Plus I've seen it a lot anyways lol

I think, when he gets the opportunity to, he likes to visit the Dakha people. These are the reindeer herders of Mongolia and they have such a fascinating lifestyle!

When things are really bad with his government he probably just. Rides out into the steppe and stays with random families until he's mentally ready to return

About his bodytype. For one yes I headcanon him as tol and I will die on this hill😔 but also I don't think he'd be skinny? I don't think he'd be fat/overly chubby either (using those terms in a descriptive sense, not a derogatory one). I do think he'd have more bodyfat on him compared to the other East Asians but he also has muscle/muscle definition which balances it out nicely if that makes sense. He's not like, ripped hahah no but he does look physically strong.

I've said this before but face scars>> hot and yes he has a nice tan

He does have red cheeks but they're less apparent now that he's not a nomad 24/7 anymore, they become more apparent when he comes back from trips he goes on during his breaks when he goes out into the countryside.

Probs invites some nations over to celebrate tsagaan tsar (Mongolian New year) with him if they have the time like Tibet, India, South Korea etc.

South Korea probably tries to lecture him sometimes if he says something that's not very politically correct hahah

Pretends he doesn't know what Kpop is to annoy South Korea. Secretly actually enjoys some songs.

Loves loves loves tea like I was watching a video about Mongolian milk tea and the dude said that like, there's a Mongolian quote about how a man can go a few days without food but not one day without tea?? Hahah

Probably finds attending the Chinese New year parties that China hosts a bit awkward and usually just let's others do the talking/listens to others conversations.

Umm feeds stray cats/dogs in Ulaanbaatars ger district (apparently there's more strays in this area) he just can't help himself 😔❤️

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pistachi0art · 9 months

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Hlvrai x Pokémon Stuff?

Mainly just thoughts on what each type or special gimmick each character would use.

Gordon: Steel, Normal, or Ground

When I think of pre-handless gordon I think Normal but when I think of gun-hand I think Steel. I’m biased on Ground bc I think it would be very cool if Gordon had a Mudsdale. THEY EVEN HAVE THE SAME COLORS GOING ON AND JOSH WOULD LOVE IT-

On terms of a game gimmick I don’t see him using anything except maybe z-moves? He’d likely just brute everything though bc he doesn’t think he needs the “extra help” 🙄

Tommy: Electric

Fast and Yellow 👍 I wish I could give him more but it’s the most fitting for him next to possibly fairy.

From what I recall from Pokémon lore is that mega evolution is formed from strong bonds so I find it most fitting for him. (I think the mega stone would be on his hat or something skfhajajkakaka) I could also see him having one pseudo legendary on his team 🤷‍♀️ just one. Not a real legendary.

Dr. Coomer: Fighting!

Very fitting for the violent old guy! and there is a boxing Pokémon already so it feels like it’s meant to be. A possible second contender is Steel to go with the whole fact that most of his body is replaced by robotic parts but otherwise I feel fighting is most appropriate.

Z-Moves power up a Pokémon and that’s what I feel he would do just before fighting a strong opponent (similarly to how he becomes super beefy before fighting ben in the last act.)

Bubby: Fire AND Psychic

Mainly this has to do with his canonical pyrokinesis, but also with the “brain & brawn” double battle trainers (*cough cough* psychic and fighting = BOOMER)

He’d have psychic Pokémon with Fire-tera typing or the other way around. Double perks. Also maybe some man made Pokémon like Porygon.

Forzen: Dragon or Ghost

Dragon (bc he thinks they look cool) or Ghost (bc they help with quick getaways) either way he probably thinks they both look cool.

No gimmick but I’d see him using moves like protect a lot to piss ppl off.

Darnold: Fairy, Poison, or Flying

When I think of Darnold I think of powerful whimsy that isn’t taken seriously and to that I think Fairy. Poison is more so to the not-so-pleasant side effects of his potions. Flying is just for the gag of him rocketing the hell out of there. Otherwise I think Fairy is the most fitting.

Once again no gimmick bc he’s more like Arven where he wants to make fun things for his Pokémon than actually battling.

Benrey: Dark, Ghost, or Bug

I think you can all guess why Dark (ha ha dark=bad, evil, and everything awful ha ha haaaaa) but more so to the perception bc he has dark Pokémon makes ppl (specifically Gordon) perceive him as so. Ghost is more to the whole clipping and not-being-able-to-die-normally thing as well as the fact he’d definitely favor Gengar come on. Bug is bc I think he’d like bugs. Little creachers >:))

Gigantamax is so definitely his favorite (giant strong and a great cool- like him in the last act!) but I also think he’d pull a second team of ultra-beasts in a last ditch attempt bc, like him “not being human” ultra beasts aren’t really Pokémon. Some deep relatability.

G-Man: Psychic or Dark:

Once again that thing about perception. Maybe also ice? Cold exterior and all that.

Only character to whisk out actual mythical or legendary Pokémon for battle. How did he get them? Dw they’re good friends stop asking so many questions.

As for an extra Josh would only have baby Pokémon. Like- three bc technically they’re Gordon’s Pokémon and also he doesn’t want Josh running around with a whole team. (Maybe Rock types to match with Gordon if he has ground but I’d see him with Bug types too.)

If there’s anything anyone wants to add just throw it in my inbox bc Pokémon is my secondary focus in my brain for the month.

#small things #hlvrai #late night posting #Pokémon ideas #pokémon x hlvrai

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beevean · 8 months

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I have now beaten the initial eight bosses of Mega Man X!

Boomer Kuwanger was ridiculously easy. All I had to do was spam the Homing Torpedo. I don’t think I even had to bother dodging!

Sting Chameleon was a fair bit tougher.

Storm Eagle was pretty easy, especially since by this point I finally learned that pressing A makes you dash foward. No need for double-taps unless you need to jump with more momentum!

Flame Mammoth was also pretty easy. I dashed forward, tanked the initial hit from the ground shaking, and then spammed Storm Tornado! Their projectile attack was at the wrong angle to attack me when I was up close!

Incidentally, a lot of these also had tougher levels. Including a recurring enemy with a mace and shield!

The Homing Torpedo also helped with enemies above me, since this game only lets you attack directly in front of you with your basic shot (and most of your projectiles, for that matter), for some reason. C’mon, man, even Super Castlevania IV let you attack diagonally and vertically!

Imagine beating Storm Eagle without the dash. I feel very bad for the kids who picked him first because he looked cooler :P

Flame Mammoth's level is another example of a level being affected by a previously defeated boss. As you can imagine, it was frozen over by you defeating Chill Penguin. If you pick him before Penguin, it's appropriately firey and much harder. Most people, for obvious reasons, don't see the "original" level by themselves :P

I like X1's arsenal, I never felt hindered by any of them. Have you experimented with their charged version? Assuming you collected the Arm Part in Flame Mammoth's stage :P

#megaman #megaman x1

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chuuyrr · 1 year

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Sometimes I forget that Sukuna is a 1,000 MEGA Boomer living in a drastically different century. Like bro was at the last supper watching all the drama unfold! I guarantee you this is the face he makes whenever Yuuji, Gojo, or Baby Fushi show him memes/anything on the internet

Sukuna: “Oi Brat, what does ‘✨Material Girl💅✨’ mean and why do you keep calling me that?”

the freaking thousand year old curse would be so confused every single time too as he makes that reaction face FHEJDKSKS it's so funny

#💬 ⸝⸝﹕chu says #ANOTHER HEADCANON 🤝#imagining sukuna saying material girl has me laughing for minutes now HELP

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syggwolf · 24 days

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I rarely write anything big or super personal but like, I gotta get something off my chest and just sorta bitch about this.

About a month ago, I was sitting outside waiting on a ride, and across the street and down the road a little, I heard a child just... Freaking the fuck out mega style. Fear maxing. Absolutely terror pilled. Beyond normal child meltdown by at least several orders of magnitude.

So I started paying attention and listening because holyshit this is beyond the pale, and I look up and down the road, and I see there's some lady on the phone standing in her driveway on the other side of some car, and another lady walking up the street half a house away and I tune in and realize this lady on the phone is talking with 911. And what I piece together is this kid is in a tight spot, literally, as it seems he has managed to get his arm stuck inside of something tight, and it's turning purple and she's asking them to send someone out to get him out.

And I think, oh fuck that sucks, but there's nothing I can do about it. I would just complicate the situation. And I'm literally about to be like, thank god the fire department or whatever is gonna get here shortly and get the kid out and he'll prolly be fine, and right before I tune out, I hear the lady hang up the phone, start talking to the lady walking up to her, to tell her they were on the way, and then these adults start laughing, and... I realized, it was AT this kid.

And this... Tapped my brain a little, something about the way they laughed, so I stayed tuned in, and within a very short span of time, I hear these two ladies telling this kid that he is going to lose his arm, and then laughing. Like... They are literally terrorizing this kid. He is shrieking at the top of his lungs and saying he's sorry to her, and calling her mommy and I'm like, holyshit your MOM is saying that shit to you? And as far as I can tell, this wasn't some shitty attempt at parenting, like, I don't think they were doing this to really drive home that he had fucked up, I think he probably figured that out when his arm started to change colors.

No, this had a particular sort of... undercurrent, to it, that you really only pick up when you've been actually abused by a real sadist yourself. They weren't doing this for any reason other than to make shit worse, it was this casual boomer sort of thing, the sort of attitude you see a pissed off boomer level at some poor service worker when they don't get all of their nuggies or whatever. They didn't see this kid as human. And it was clearly showing because they were just taking turns telling him how they were gonna have to get a saw and cut it off and half his blood was gonna come out and they probably wouldn't even numb it, and it was gonna hurt soooo bad, and he'd need a fake hand for the rest of his life. This kid couldn't have been more than like, seven, by the way?

And I had to just sit there and marvel at this absolutely revolting casual cruelty, and then I had to thoroughly mourn the fact that I couldn't do a fucking thing about it because the house is owned, and lived in, by a fucking cop.

Like it's a well known fact that you do not fuck with this house because he is a big manly cop and his family is a cop family and you will get fucking shot for knocking on this dude's door to ask for help in the middle of the night or whatever because, apparently, that literally almost happened once according to one of my neighbors who's drunk boyfriend tried to kill her one night.

One of the signs on this place's porch, right next to the door, literally says "Give me a reason." with a picture of an assault rifle on it. They fly a blue line flag and an american flag where the stars have been replaced with guns right over the garage.

I wish I was making any of this up. I wish I could help that kid. I wish I could fucking do something. I wanted so fucking badly to walk up and tell them to leave that poor kid the fuck alone. I started filming it, but when I played it back, the audio wasn't clear enough to make any of it out and the EMT's showed up within six minutes and had this kid free in like two more. My ride showed up and I got in and we left. Because... What am I gonna do?

And now all I can think about is the fact that we absolutely fucked up tying the child protective services and the militarized law enforcement agencies together into the same system, because if I called CPS? Not only would I need to PROVE my case somehow, but I might turn that kid's life into a crapshoot where the system might destroy him even worse, and then on top of that I'd risk literally being destroyed myself because Sally Dispatch or Karen CPS agent might just be friends with these people and maybe goes to a BBQ of theirs from time to time or comes over to have a beer. They might just decide to let them in on who the busybody piece of shit is that tried to frame them for child abuse just to "let them know, so they could protect themselves".

In fact I worry I've put too many identifying details in this post already tbh. But I honestly just cannot sit on this without telling the fucking world what I saw somehow.

#tw abuse

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evansbby · 10 months

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Chris Evans character era's

Steve Rogers - Cunttiest era ever - he literally was soooooooo hot during those days. Ripped and Jacked to perfection.

Ari Levinson - Legend. Daddy. God. Safe Vibes. Need I say more?

Curtis/Buzzcut era - Literally his sluttiest era ever. He was such a fuckboy during this era, like I cannot. This dude was really snuggling and kissing his makeup artist or something, he literally had the fuck boy twinkle in his eyes. Chris was a whole ass whore in this era.

Andy Barber - no comment.

Lloyd Hansen - Huge flirt when he was doing those gray man interviews. Hot. Still had daddy vibes.

Cole - Boomer. The era where he started acting like a old insecure white man who hates women.

Lmfao so true! Although I’d say even in the Lloyd era my ick for him began. Like he was being mega annoying in interviews (I get irritated very easily sjsjsjsja)

And I wouldn’t say the Cole boomer era Chris hates women 😭😭😂😂 he’s just annoying. Maybe he was always annoying but his hotness and beefiness covered it up lmao.

STEVE ERA WAS ELITE! Also Curtis era and Steve era overlapped! So he was just big beefy fuckboy who sometimes had a buzzcut!

Ari era/nomad Steve era was ELITE

Andy era was beginning of the end 🥲🥲🥲

#anon

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shebully · 1 month

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Cass vs Joker... this image alone makes the whole issue worth it

I kinda hate mega insane TKJ joker but it's crazy how blatantly yaoiful he is even compared to ur average joker😭 and I really like Barbara's interpretation of his [ambiguous disorder] this is the first time it actually makes sense to me

my little creature sneaking into Arkham all creepy n shit😭😭<3

I like how he legit thought she was batman (she is)

meanwhile Barbara is losing her mind cuz her anecdote was what made Cassie want to fight the jerker (how can she not know atp that telling her about anyone that might be a challenge will just make her eyes sparkle with want) and she doesn't wanna call batman cuz this is the one time she fucked up instead of him LOL. as cheesy the found family thing seems sometimes I do love it

ok I admit even in the fanarts with Cass as batman I was kind of a Cass suit purist cuz I feel like she should keep her full mask with black eyes n all BUT... I change my mind after this she looks amazing in this batman get up😭😭 this is MY batman!!!

mixed feelings cuz again I hate TKJ I hate Barbara being a poor traumatized constant victim used to highlight how fucked up and evil he is I feel like he should be sillier than he is evil (yet still evil). but I like how batman trusts Cass will handle it and doesn't baby her despite this being post babs AND jason

ugh she looks soo good in the cowl😭🫶 she really beat him quoting the iconic post #thats boring for me #boring

her "ok👌" 😭😭 ... even if I'm a Barbara hater this was very sweet omg. mixed feelings cuz in a meta way it kinda reads like a pacifier for the cringe sexist boomers who just hate Cass for "not being Barbara" and need to see Cass admitting she was the best batgirl (she wasn't). like idk if cass would feel the need to prove she can be as good as barbara when she already knows shes immensely better in every way but maybe she wanted to prove her wits? it's true Cass doesn't give her brain enough credit so maybe. anyways on the other hand this is still a very soft moment between them💖 Cass really deserves someone to worry and cry and care about her like babs does and I'm glad she has her

#🥥#batgirl #comic stuff

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holding-monsters-hands · 1 year

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Any slasher/goosebumps character x reader who celebrates hannukah <3

Omg absolutely! :3 sorry this took so long, I wanted to make sure I had all the details right in order to make this the best as possible for you!

Slashers & Goosebumps characters with a reader that celebrates hanukkah (edited)

Retch Sniff:

Literally so excited that you’re sharing this with him

he considers this a huge step in your relationship and it just makes his heart melt knowing he can celebrate with you <3

You guys have your own, mini celebration throughout the duration of hanukkah. Where you both play games, eat your most preferred traditional foods such as potato latkes or sufganiyot and the exchanging of meaningful gifts.

Count Nightwing:

He’s a man that’s been around for a LOOONG time, so he knows his fair share about many different beliefs and religions! and Hanukkah just to be his favorite holiday to observe.

and with him having many assortments of different items such as old, yet gorgeous menorahs or dreidels! and overall being very wealthy- he’ll do everything in his power to make this the best hanukkah yet!

It turns into a beautiful celebration with friends, food, games, and so much more! with menora from his artifact collection to top it all off.

Slappy:

There is never a damn THOUGHT in his head

he’s definitely not opposed to celebrating with you, especially since you’re the one person he has a soft spot for

his only concern is possibly catching on fire from getting too close to the menora

Jason Voorhees:

He’s incredibly curious about how to celebrate and the history behind everything! considering he was most likely raised with some christian/or catholic ideals just from everything his mom has instilled into him- he wouldn’t know too much about jewish holidays!

yet that doesn’t stop you guys from having an absolute blast of a celebration!

and as the holiday draws to a close, you’ll be surprised with a beautifully carved wooden dreidel he made <3

Jack frost:

BOOMER MOMENT- Listen he’s like, old and his brain works like a tv screensaver.

But he also does genuinely love you, in his own hardass sort of way! so he tries his best to learn about the holiday and your beliefs as a whole

you’d have to teach him a lot yourself, but he’s at least willing to learn in order for you guys to have the best celebration possible- baby steps!

Lubdan:

He’s surprisingly familiar with the holiday! and although he didn’t originally celebrate it himself, he’s more than happy to indulge with you.

he sucks ASS at cooking so don’t let him be in charge for food prep, however he has a knack for decoration!

and while you two still manage to have fun, it’s still relatively calm considering he’s old and probably has like, mega arthritis.

I hope this was okay! if there was more I could’ve done or If i missed/got anything wrong please let me know! <3

#goosebumps retch sniff #goosebumps slappy #jason voorhees x reader #jack frost 1997 #leprechaun x reader #Count nightwing

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aclosetfan · 8 months

Note

5 for the prompt list! Maybe Brick and Princess are doing villain shenanigans and Boomer is randomly like, “Omg my brother is legally actually capable of getting married! Please don’t split up!” It’s up to you if Brick and Princess actually like each other or if Boomer’s just being sentimental

this ask was a challenge. I don’t think I’ve ever written these three together without one of the girls before. Literally, just three people who’d stare at each other until someone breathed too loudly, and they’d all start yelling. so i added butch

This isn't romantic. Sorry, anon. To me, Princess is gay forever and always no exceptions lololol but this story aint about her. Boomer’s a show stealer. It just is what it is.

Prompt 5: this marriage was supposed to be a scam but, but listen,

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Princess!” Brick yelled from the other room, evidently at the end of his rope, “Get it through your thick fucking skull! You broke up with her! She isn’t coming back!”

“I’m not paying you to hear your opinions! I’m paying you to break! Them! Up!” Princess screeched back.

“They’re getting married in a month! Nothing you’ve done has worked! Throw in the towel!”

“Do I have to remind you? You’re under contract, and—and don’t walk away from me!” Princess stomped after Brick, “We have work to do! There’s no way in hell I’ll allow this wedding to happen!”

“No!” Brick bellowed, “I’m done! I quit! This relationship is over!”

A door somewhere in the depths of Princess’s Mega-McMansion slammed shut, echoing down the large, empty marbled halls. Princess and Brick’s argument was now muted, moving deeper into the labyrinth Princess called home. Boomer’s head shot up from the massage table at the sound of the door slamming shut. Their argument planted a seed of panic in his gut, and he scrambled to get off the table. He kicked the masseuse away and ripped the layers of fine linens and silks he had draped over himself earlier that morning. However, as tangled up as he was in the imprisoning grandeur, he fell to the floor in one massive heap.

“Butch,” He hissed at his brother across the room, “Butch, did you hear that?”

“Hard to miss.” Butch sniffed, eyes glued to his phone. He sat in an obnoxiously big recliner, which, at this point, was practically molded to his body.

Boomer scoffed, waving off the masseuse’s attempt to help him up, “Stop acting so casual! This is bad!”

“Uh-huh.” Butch flatly agreed.

Boomer freed himself from the expensive fabrics and jumped up, fixing the Gucci sunglasses that sat askew on his head. He shuffled over to Butch, careful not to let his freshly pedicured toes touch the ground.

“This can’t be happening!” He whined, pulling his mulberry silk robe tight around him as if he had pearls that he could be clutching.

“Welp,” Butch popped the ‘p,’ placing his ratty ass sneakers onto the gold-leafed and marbled coffee table Princess had imported from Italy, “it is, so, yep.”

“No,” Boomer shook his head, disturbing his beautifully deep-conditioned golden curls, “No, no, I’ve grown accustomed to a certain standard of living. I can’t be poor again. I can’t drink tap water. My palette is far too delicate for harsh minerals. I know that now, an-and I can’t just go back!” He brought a hand to his chest, “Oh god, I think I’m having a panic attack. This can’t be happening! Where’s Jeeves? Or Carmichael? I need a vitamin water, now, or—or—” He threw himself across the fainting couch, ringing his tiny service bell, ”—we have to do something, Butch!”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“Yeah,” Boomer sat up, accepting a vitamin water from Carmichael and a protein-infused snack, “We have to—” he talked through a mouthful, “—do something, you’re right.”

“I did not say that.”

He continued to stuff his face as Carmichael fluffed and placed a luxurious cashmere pillow behind his back and dabbed at the crumbs at the corners of his mouth.

“This is making me stress eat, and Stacy—” Boomer shuddered as he thought about his poor beloved personal trainer “—will not be happy. What are we going to do!”

“Nothing.”

“Couples counseling? Maybe a honeymoon?” He mused, gesturing for Carmicheal to fan him, “Tahiti's wonderful this time of year.”

Butch didn’t respond.

“If they get divorced, what are we going to tell HIM? They’ve already made plans for Christmas—” For a moment, this seemed to be a sweet sentiment, until Boomer tacked on, “—on Princess’s dime! I don’t want to lose a vacation!”

Butch groaned and put his phone down, “Princess and Brick aren’t actually married. You get that, right? This is all just an elaborate plan to make Blossom jealous and stop her from marrying that Robin chick. As much as we’d like it to, this—” Butch gestured around the room, “—wasn’t ever going to last.”

Boomer followed Butch’s hand gestures with a frown. He loved this room with its big bay windows and indoor water features. He had scoped it out for his and Butch’s personal use the moment they had stepped foot in the McMansion. Princess had only requested Brick’s services, but Boomer had shown up anyway and dragged Butch along. It had been maybe the best decision of his life. Even if he was technically freeloading, he now considered this room his home.

“I just don’t think I can say goodbye to all the memories we’ve made here.” He sighed.

Butch’s eyebrows furrowed in disbelief, “We’ve been here, like, two weeks. Frankly, I’m surprised Brick’s made it this long.”

“Long enough to form a bond!” He argued.

“With Princess?”

“No, with all the cool stuff!”

“What are you talking about!” Butch sneered, “We can just steal all this shit. We usually do steal all this shit! And it’s not like Princess would care. Like, seriously, Boomer, I doubt Princess would even notice if Carmichael went missing—” He grimaced, “—uh, no offense, Carmichael.”

“None taken, sir.” Carmichael bowed.

“But I don’t want to steal it,” Boomer fell back onto the fainting couch, a breath away from throwing his own Princess-sized tantrum, “I don’t want to do the work. I don’t wanna! I want it to all be right here at my fingertips forever and always!”

“Yeah, I know, you’re fucking lazy.” Butch sniffed, “I get it.”

“Like, why can’t Brick just do this one thing for us? Why can’t he stay fake married?” Boomer asked, voice thick with tears, “Don’t I deserve nice things? And fancy food? And expensive jewelry?”

“Well, one day, if you’re lucky, you can be fake married to.”

Boomer sucked in a breath and shot back up, “Oh my god. They’re not actually married.”

“Yeah,” Butch deadpanned, “welcome to the fucking plot.”

“No, Butch, they’re not actually married."

“I just said that.”

“Do you know what this means?” Boomer asked, diving towards the minibar.

Butch watched him carefully, “uh, they’re not actually married?”

“Exactly!” He cackled, shaking a bottle of Bacardi. “But not for long! Don’t you think it’s about time we threw our happy couple a little wedding shower?”

Butch regarded him and the bottle of booze as he connected the dots, “Wait, dude, are you saying—”

“—that’s exactly what I’m saying.” Boomer’s smile grew into something menacing, and it wasn’t long before Butch’s face mirrored his own.

“Give me twenty minutes,” Butch jumped up, “I’ll go get a minister license online.”

“Perfect! I’ll round up a few witnesses.”

----------------------------------------------------------------

Extra:

“I can’t believe you’ve done this! I can’t believe you got me drunk and married to Princess, on purpose, for money!” Brick looked up from the toilet bowl he was puking his guts out into, “It’s plain evil!”

“You’re fine!”

“We’re going to get a divorce, you know that, right! The marriage means nothing! Your little scheme was all for nothing! Why can’t you ever think things—”

“—girlie,” Boomer sniffed, interrupting him, “did you sign a prenup?”

Brick froze, thinking it over.

“Exactly.” Boomer smirked, taking a long sip of his boba.

#not so much princess and brick #but definitely has boomer lol #i couldn't think of any scenario where Brick and Princess would willingly get married #prompt ask game!#second time ive done this prompt and they're wildly different

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