#hi i'm not mentally well thanks for asking

[soaps-mohawk]

Cherry Red, Crimson Blood

Chapter 23: Regrets

Summary: Depression: a common mental health condition characterized by a low mood or loss of pleasure or interest in activities for long periods of time. 

Pairing: Poly 141 x reader

Word Count: 9,940

Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, angst, mental illness, depression, very heavy emotionally, angst, Johnny gets his feelings hurt (but only for a moment), angst, everyone is having big emotions, Bella Swan-esque sad montage, angst, kissing, slight suggestive content, angst

A/N: Did I completely rewrite part of this during the editing process? Yes. Are you going to thank me for that? Also yes. I'm trying something a bit different with this chapter, so let me know what you think. It probably won't be a regular thing, but I just thought I'd give it a test and this chapter was the perfect time to do that.

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They say you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. 

They’re right. There’s a hole in your chest, an empty void. The squeaking of your shoes on the tiles sounds far away as you numbly walk back towards your room. 

“Ye alright, kitten?” Johnny asks cautiously as you pause in front of your door long enough to turn the handle.

You turn to look up at him, his brows pinched and his eyes shining with concern. “He's gone.” Your voice cracks and shakes, breaking over the words like you're speaking the finality of the situation. 

You are. 

“I know.” Johnny reaches out, his fingers wrapping around your arm. “I wish there had been more warning, but this is usually how his solo assignments go.” 

You swallow thickly. “He'll come back, right?”

Johnny grimaces. “Ye know I can't promise that. But, there's no one quite as capable in the field as him, except maybe Price.” Johnny squeezes your arm gently. “He’s been doing this for a long time, kitten. Have faith in that, and his skills.” 

Johnny’s words do nothing to help the turmoil inside you, the fear and anxiety. One split second mistake, one wrong decision and you know it could be over. Everything could be over before it even started. Why didn’t you confront him sooner? Why didn’t you pick up on his true feelings, his emotions as quickly as he seemed to decipher yours? It’s not fair that they can be taken from you so easily and so quickly. There’s no room for argument, no room for any begging or pleading for them to stay. They have a job, and they’ll always choose that job over you. 

“Ye gonna be alright?” Johnny asks, letting his hand fall from your arm as you push open your door, entering your room before closing it in immediately, clicking the lock into place. You lean against the door for a moment, biting your lip to try and stop the tears as you begin to shiver from the dampness of your clothes. 

You leave your shoes in a pile next to the door before you pad silently to your bathroom, stripping off your clothes once you hit the tile. You’re shivering, a cold chill starting to seep into your very bones as you start the tub, letting it fill with water. The tears blur your vision, dripping into the steaming water as you sink into the bath. You can’t stop the tears as you sit there, not caring how hot the water is, not caring how it makes your skin feel like it’s on fire. You’ll take the pain, the discomfort. Anything to ease the pain that’s ripping your chest wide open.

It hurts, he won’t lie, when you close the door in his face. Well, it wasn’t entirely in his face. He was a foot away from the door, but it still causes a little ache in his chest, a little upset in his mind that you just cut him off like that. The click of the lock is like a finality, the gavel falling on your decision to distance yourself for now. 

The rejection of his offer for comfort has his beta stirring uncomfortably in his mind. Tears fill his own eyes as he stares at the handle of your door, wishing he could reach out and grab it, fling it open and take you into his arms and hold you until you stop crying, until the pain of Simon’s sudden absence goes away. 

“Come on.” John says quietly, wrapping his arm around his shoulders. “Give her some time.” 

He lets John lead him away from your door and back towards the rec room. He shouldn’t be so hurt by your abrupt dismissal. You were quite obviously upset, upset enough to run out into the rain after Simon. He saw you race out the door, his stomach clenching in worry, but thankfully the rain had forced most inside. There was little threat to you, not with Simon there, but he had been worried you might not be able to catch him, that you might run blindly into the rain to try and find him. 

He had spotted the tears trailing down your cheeks as you walked back to the barracks, mixing with the rain that soaked straight through you. He’s used to his alpha having to leave suddenly, the distance and the worry are second nature now thanks to their jobs, their lifestyles. You’ve never been through this before with him, though, and so soon after the two of you were finally beginning to give in. It’s like a curse. They begin to get close to you, and then suddenly they’re ripped away. 

He almost feels guilty, like he’s responsible for your pain. If he hadn’t forced it, if he hadn’t put you both in that position, maybe you wouldn’t be so upset. He couldn’t have known, though, that Simon would be called away like that. It could happen at any time, they all know that. They always have to be ready, always have to be prepared to be called out. Even on leave they can’t guarantee there won’t be an emergency. It’s just the nature of their job. 

It wouldn’t have bothered any of them before you. 

“She didn't take it well, did she?” Kyle says as John guides Johnny to sit on the couch next to him. 

“Christ, she's so upset.” Johnny says, leaning his head in his hands. “If I hadnae pushed them, then this wouldn't have happened.” 

“You couldn't have known this was going to happen.” Kyle says, squishing Johnny between him and John to try and comfort the upset beta. 

“We didn't even know until a couple of hours ago.” John says, draping his arm across the back of the couch.

“If she's this upset at one of us leaving...how upset was she when we all left?” Johnny says, his stomach churning at the thought. No wonder you were so shaken when they came back. 

“The best thing we can do right now is leave her alone and let her do what she needs to do.” John says, pulling Johnny so he's resting against his chest. “She'll come out when she's ready.” 

The afternoon comes and goes, the rain slowing to a light drizzle. You still haven’t left your room, sealed inside, secluded from them. Johnny casts the closed door a wistful look every time he walks down the hallway, half tempted to try the knob and see if it’s been unlocked, but he stops himself. The last thing you need is to be scared by someone trying to get in. John is right. You’ll come out when you’re ready. 

John knocks on your door as they get ready to head to dinner, waiting a moment for some type of response. “We’re going to dinner, sweetheart.” He says through the door when there’s no answer to his knock. “Do you want us to bring you something?” 

There’s a quiet noise from your room, some muffled response to John’s question.

“We’ll be back soon.” John says, somehow able to make out what it is you said. Or maybe his plan was to bring you something regardless of whether you agreed or not. 

It feels strange, just the three of them walking to the mess. It’s not the first time they’ve gone just the three of them, but it feels different this time. It’s not Simon’s missing presence that weighs so heavily, it’s yours. 

There’s a tenseness that’s settled over them as they sit at the table, avoiding eye contact with each other.  Simon’s empty space at the table wouldn’t have felt so much like an empty chasm if you had been there to fill some of it. 

They’re not sure what to do, the feeling similar to what they felt upon their return. They knew it would be bad, but they hadn’t expected you to be in shambles like you were. Their pack mate is hurting, their omega is hurting, and there’s nothing they can do. They don’t know what to do. Johnny wants to kick in your door, rush into your room and envelop you in a hug so tight you’ll complain that you can't breathe. He just wants to help you, but that’s not what you want, what you need right now. 

He knows it’s his beta instincts, his need to comfort and soothe and support. If Kyle is feeling the same way, which Johnny knows he has to be, he’s hiding it well. Though, perhaps that’s just for his sake and John’s. He can’t even imagine what John is going through, knowing his omega is suffering in such a way. 

All because Simon is gone. 

How easily one missing piece could tear the pack apart. If something happened to one of them, or god forbid something happened to you, they might not be able to recover. They had always assumed their training would win out, that they could move past it in the way they would had there been nothing but the bonds of camaraderie between them. 

How silly that idea had been. 

It’s no secret death disrupts pack stability, shakes the bonds that tie a pack together. He remembers how his Grannie’s death had shaken his family for weeks and it had taken months to return to what could be considered normal after a partially expected death of a member of the pack. What kind of damage would an unexpected and sudden death do to a pack? 

Johnny shakes the thought from his head. There was always a risk. They all knew that, they all agreed to that when they signed up. He knows Simon is highly skilled, well accustomed to working alone, to completing solo assignments successfully. The risk of something happening was always high, but he trusts Simon and puts faith in his skills. 

John goes back through the line once they finish, making a tray for you and piling it high as usual. It always makes him happy to see how well cared for you really are. Despite the circumstances of you being added to their pack, he knows it could have been so much worse. There’s worse packs, worse alphas out there. At least with them, you’re an equal. You’re their precious omega, and they’d make anyone who threatened you regret that decision. 

John is surprised the handle turns when he tries it. You’ve gotten up at least, but he’s not surprised to find you back in the same place you’ve likely been all day. He closes the door behind him before moving to your bed, setting the tray of food down on your nightstand. You squint as he flicks the lamp on, reaching up to rub your eyes. The bed dips as he sits on the edge, a quiet sigh leaving his lips. 

“I know this is hard for you.” He says softly, brushing his fingers across your bare arm. Your skin is warm, likely from being burrowed under the blankets. “I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now.” 

“He's gone.” You say quietly, your voice hoarse from crying. 

“Just for a while.” He says. “He’ll be back.” 

“But you can’t promise that.” You argue, pushing yourself up to sit. Your cheeks are still damp with tears, eyes red and lips still trembling. 

“There’s always a risk,” He says softly. “But you have to trust Simon. He’s not going down without a fight.” He sighs quietly as your gaze drops to your hands, your fingers picking at the skin around your fingers. He slips his hand into yours, stopping you from continuing. “What’s eating you?” 

“I should have told him.” You sniffle, your eyes on his hand as your fingers close around it. . 

“Told him what?” He prods gently, curiously. 

“That I love him.” You say, lifting your gaze to look at him. “I should have said it but I didn’t and now what if he doesn’t come back? I love all of you, and I don’t want you to leave, and I don’t want anything to happen to you.” The words end in a sob, tears sliding down your cheeks again. 

Your words take him by surprise. It’s no secret how they feel about you, how their feelings have grown from curiosity to companionship to attraction and now to love. All of them have come to love you in their own ways, even Simon in his resistance wasn’t immune to his feelings, to their shared feelings towards you. 

“Look at me.” He cups your face gently, his thumbs wiping the falling tears. “I wish things didn’t have to be this way, I wish they hadn't picked us to be first for this. It's not fair to you, it's not fair to put you through this. I wouldn't change having you as my omega, but forcing you to live like this, to be left behind with the worry over something none of us can control.” He shakes his head. “It was a selfish decision by those who created the initiative.” 

“What...what happens if the initiative fails?” You ask softly. 

“We’re not giving you up.” He says, holding your gaze. “We wouldn’t want to, and we wouldn’t let it happen. You’ve been part of this pack since the day you stepped foot on this base. We wouldn’t have let you go then, and we sure as hell won’t now.” 

Your breathing is shaky as you stare at him, and he can see the wheels turning in your head, the hesitation as you debate whether you want to speak. He hates that you still feel this way, that you have to hide your thoughts from them out of fear or worry that they might be angered by them. He’s not sure there’s anything you could say that would anger him. 

“Would you ever leave for me?” You speak the words slowly, hesitantly, like they might bite you if you're not careful. 

He's not expecting it, though he has wondered if you'd ever ask it of them. If it might come to be too much and it leaves you no choice but to ask, to give them the ultimatum. He lets out a breath, all the answers he'd thought up in response gone as he sits face to face with you, as he faces this question out in the open for the first time. Tears are gathering in your eyes as you stare at him, taking his silence as second thoughts, as possible rejection. 

“Please be honest with me.” You whisper shakily, a tear slipping down your cheek. 

He watches its path as it slides down your cheek, pausing at the line of your jaw before it drips down onto your shirt. He lifts his gaze back to yours, the pain in them stabbing straight into his heart. He wants to say yes, that he'd leave in a heartbeat, give up what he'd worked his whole life to achieve, all for an omega. His omega. 

He wouldn't be able to sleep at night, knowing the kind of evils that exist in the world, the kinds of threats that linger in the dark. The evils that may pose a threat to you and his pack. You’ll never be truly safe, not so long as there’s others who know of your existence. Very few of them he’d truly trust with the knowledge that you pose a threat to their efficiency as a team, a weakness that could be exploited. 

What bloody fucking fools they were, leaving you alone like that. 

“Part of me wants to say no,” He admits honestly, ignoring the flash of pain in your eyes. “But it would depend on the situation. If your life was ever in danger because of us, then without question. If the initiative fails, if we can't adjust, then we may have no other choice.”

“The job comes first.” You say quietly, sounding defeated. 

“But there may come a time when it doesn't.” He says, trying to reassure you. “Don't worry about that too much right now.” He brushes a hand over your hair. “If a situation arises, then we'll talk about it further.” 

He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You lean into him, letting out a quiet breath. He pulls you against his chest, wrapping his arms around you tightly. 

“I love you too.” He says, his lips brushing the top of your head. “And Simon knows how you feel.” 

You shift in his arms, pulling back just slightly to stare up at him. Your brows are pinched as you stare at him. “What do you mean?”

“Simon is very good at reading people. Their scents, their emotions, their body language. Years of training paired with his own natural abilities.” He smiles softly at you. “He knows how you feel.” 

“Oh,” You say, shrinking into yourself. 

“He'll likely convince himself it's not true, knowing him and how he thinks. You'll have to tell him to make him believe it.” He pats your leg under the blankets. “Don't worry too much about him. He'll be back before you know it.” He pushes himself up to stand. “Eat your dinner. We'll be around if you need anything.” 

“John?” You ask, stopping him before he can leave. 

He turns back around to face you. “Yes?”

“Thank you.” You say. “For everything.”

A small smile pulls at his lips. “Of course.”

You're just stepping out of the bathroom when the knock sounds on your door. You had gotten up to rinse your face with cold water, your skin starting to feel tight and itchy after nearly an entire day of uncontrollable tears. You freeze at the sound of knuckles tapping on the wood, your heart leaping into your chest. Is it one of the guys coming to tell you bad news? Has something happened to Simon? 

Or is he coming back already? 

You’re half scared, half hopeful as you make the short journey across your room to the door. You feel like you’re moving in slow motion as your fingers close around the handle, slowly pulling it open. 

Johnny is standing on the other side, his face a mix of worry and sadness. It doesn’t help the despair already starting to manifest in you. Something must have happened to Simon. Something’s gone wrong. He’s not coming back, or they’ll have to leave to help him. 

“Ye doin’ alright, kitten?” Johnny asks, his brows furrowing as he stares at you. 

“Yeah.” You can’t help but wince at the way your voice cracks around the word. You sniffle, wiping at your nose with your sleeve. 

“I have somethin’ for ye.” He says, his hands fiddling with the fabric he’s holding. You hadn't noticed it before now. “I was gonnae do Simon’s laundry, but I thought ye might want this.” 

It’s one of Simon’s shirts he’s holding out to you, one of the black standard cotton t-shirts he often sports. Your fingers tremble as you take it, bringing the fabric to your nose. You don’t care that it’s dirty, having likely been soaked in sweat at one point. You inhale deeply, nose pressed into the fabric. It smells of soap and deodorant and him. Tears well in your eyes as you take in the scent, almost as if you’re getting it directly from the source. 

You’re moving before you realize it, your arms wrapping around Johnny’s middle. He seems almost surprised by your action, his body tensing for a second before it relaxes, his arms wrapping around you. 

“Thank you.” You murmur against his chest, a couple tears slipping from your eyes. You’re so tired of crying, but you can’t stop. 

“Yer welcome, kitten.” He says, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “Ye need anythin’...” 

He leaves the other half unsaid, but you know what he means. You’re hesitant to pull away from him, wanting to just stand there and cling to him until Simon returns, but you know he’s busy. Eventually he’ll have to leave you too. You’re not sure you could handle watching him leave your nest, close your door behind him as he’s forced away to do his job. 

Your door clicks as you shut it, holding Simon’s shirt to your chest. You’re tempted to wear it, to slip it over your head and bathe yourself in your scent, but you know if you do that, his scent will just fade faster and become overwhelmed by your own. The desire to bury yourself in it is strong, let his scent sink into your body and overwhelm your own. 

Your eyes pass over the giant bear sitting in your desk chair before snapping back to look at it. An idea begins to form in your head as you set the shirt on your bed. 

You grab the bear, hauling it to your bed and sitting it on the edge. You pull the shirt over its head, stretching the neckline slightly. The shirt is slightly baggy on the bear, but you don’t care as you maneuver it so it’s laying on the bed, trying to picture Simon in its place. It would be a tight squeeze, but then again it always is with any member of your pack. Their bodies don’t leave much space on the narrow mattresses by themselves, much less with you curled up with them. You can’t help the stirring in your chest, the yearning for more space, for a bed big enough to fit all of you at the same time. Big enough for Johnny to starfish himself comfortably, for you to escape the inescapable suffocating heat of their bodies that will build up inevitably. 

Tears burn behind your eyes as you crawl onto the mattress, draping yourself across the giant bear. Simon’s scent wafts up around you as you press your face into the shirt, pretending it’s Simon you’re laying against. You can almost feel his arms wrap around you, holding onto you like you might disappear if he lets go. You squeeze your arms tighter around the bear, letting Simon’s scent seep into your mind and take away your fear and your worry and your pain for a little while. 

It’s two days later when you finally leave your room. You’ve managed to stop the onslaught of tears, calming down enough to exist without being a weepy mess. There’s still an ache in your chest, though, the gaping hole that won’t close. A piece of you is missing, a piece you hadn’t even noticed was there until it was ripped out of you suddenly and violently. Your hug with Johnny had been the first time it had felt less intense, the aching abating just slightly. 

They’ve just returned from their afternoon training, earlier than usual meaning they have some downtime before dinner. You can almost tell where he is before you leave your room, following the sounds of the TV. Your steps are slow and quiet, the cold tile biting into your bare feet as you approach the rec room. 

He’s seated on the couch, spread out as usual. His eyes flicker to you as you hesitate in the doorway, tugging at the hem of the baggy shirt you’re wearing. You’ve long forgotten whose it is, the name on the tag worn off and all hints of scent erased by the many times you’ve worn and washed it. The thought tugs at the hole in your chest. Eventually Simon’s shirt won’t smell like him anymore, faded and rubbed away by time and your own scent. 

“Hi kitten,” He says, breaking the silence between you. 

You let out a shaky breath before entering the rec room, approaching him. You can tell he’s expecting you to sit next to him, to curl up against his side by the way he moves his arm, but instead you straddle his lap, all but throwing yourself against his chest. He grunts quietly in surprise, his arm instinctively wrapping around your back. You lay your head on his shoulder, going limp in his hold. 

It doesn’t fix the hole, doesn’t remove the ache entirely, but you can feel it start to lessen as you sit there, getting as close to Simon as you possibly can through his beta. You wrap your arms around his neck, fingers twisting the fabric of his shirt. He wraps his other arm around you, holding you tightly as his scent begins to project around you. Nothing is said, but nothing has to be. He knows what you need, and he doesn’t even have to use his instincts to figure it out. 

A week goes by without a word from Simon or even about him and how he’s doing. You return to your normal routine in a numb, almost dazed state. You follow the rest of your pack around like a lost puppy, going to meals and following them to training when John allows, withdrawing back to your room like a recluse when you can’t. You sit in the rec room with them in the evenings, but you feel far away, distant from them and reality. You stare at the TV, but all you can see are blurry moving shapes. You can’t even read, often finding yourself staring at the cover until the words mesh and blur into something else. 

You never thought the distance could feel like this. You almost miss the fear of them all being gone. At least that had made you feel something. 

You see Dr. Keller twice as usual, both appointments unproductive as you fight to force some kind of life into yourself to drown out the numbness that’s settled. You’re far away, distracted from everything. Even food tastes different, more mushy and flavorless than usual. 

They’re worried about you. Even in your numb state you can tell that. John hovers closer, allowing you to follow them more than he probably should. It’s not like you’re paying much attention to what they’re doing, seated far away from anything that might put you at risk as you stare up at the sky, or off at the trees in the distance. Even when you’re inside, your gaze is far away, never quite focusing on anything. 

Johnny and Kyle keep you close as much as they can, squishing you between them on the couch or when you walk to meals. They’re always touching you, holding your hands, brushing your skin, wrapping their arms around you. They’re trying to comfort you, and it works for a little bit, not even your numbness impervious to a beta’s soothing presence. They hold onto you like they’re trying to keep you grounded to the earth, like you might float off and disappear into space if they don’t. 

You don’t sleep well, electing to sleep in your room every night. It’s a vast difference to what you had been doing, avoiding your room as much as possible. You’re seeking out the safety of your nest, a comfort only it can provide despite everything that’s happened. You feel bad for pushing them away, keeping them at a distance, but at the same time, you don’t care. 

You just want Simon back. 

“I’m worried.” 

“I know. I’m surprised you didn’t come here sooner.” 

He feels strange, sitting in Dr. Keller’s office alone. It’s not the first time he’s been here, spoken to her about you. After their return from their first assignment, he had sat with Dr. Keller and gone over everything that had happened during their absence, or at least as much as she could tell him. Anything you talked about was considered confidential, but at least she could tell him if there were any issues or incidents. 

“She’s depressed.” Dr. Keller answers before he can even ask. “It’s not uncommon for omegas to become depressed after separation. Even when there’s necessary splitting of a pack into a satellite, there’s a risk for all omegas to develop depression because of it.”

He should have known. He’s seen it happen to soldiers, when the blood staining their hands grows to be too much and they begin to recluse in their own bodies, becoming empty shells of who they were before. You’ve become a shell, a body simply existing out of necessity. 

“What can we do?” He asks, unable to keep the mask up, to hide his concern and fear. 

“Not much more than you have been.” She says. “Keep supporting her, reminding her that you’re there. There’s an adjustment when a bond begins to weaken. Omegas are especially susceptible to it, and with how strongly connected and aware of her instincts and emotions she is, it’s going to affect her more.” Dr. Keller sighs, leaning her arms on her desk. “I don’t think anyone has ever taught her how to balance or even use those purebred instincts. Institutes are supposed to, but from what we know, they teach subservience over anything.” 

John shifts in his seat. Of course no one would have cultivated those abilities. It would have made you too aware, made the risk of you being able to manipulate them too high. Your job was to serve them above all else, so why would those teaching you want to give you that ability? Those instincts would have made you a perfect omega, able to pick up on the slightest changes, the needs of your pack. Yet, if you became too aware of your own abilities, it would give you too much power over them. That’s the one thing institutes don’t want...an omega that knows how powerful they are. 

“How do we teach her?” He asks. 

“I can help her with balancing those instincts and emotions, but only someone who knows can really teach her how to be successful at using them.” 

“Simon.” He says, the pieces beginning to come together. 

“If he didn’t know how before, his military training would have cultivated those instincts. That’s why purebreds are so sought after by militaries. Of course, it’s a bit different for alphas and omegas, but you are two sides of the same coin.” Dr. Keller smiles. “She’s smart. She’ll begin to figure it out on her own once she’s aware she can do it. In the meantime, just keep doing what you’re doing. If there’s some way she can talk to him or get in contact with him, that may help alleviate some of the depression.” 

He knows it won’t be likely, but if it will help you, he’s willing to take that risk. “I’ll see what I can do.” 

He stands outside your door, staring at the knob. It’s late, his eyes burning from exhaustion. He’s stressed, not just from the day to day stressors of his job, but your obvious pain and discomfort has been affecting him. It’s affecting all of them. Kyle and Johnny’s times on the course have slowed, their aim is off, and he knows they’re not sleeping well either. 

Even with you beginning to return to your normal routine, your distance from them has proven to affect them more than your presence. Even with you around them, your numbed, absent state has disrupted their abilities to function, to exist as a normal pack. He’s relayed the sudden change to Kate in an attempt to prove his decision not to leave you alone is the right one, and it will help his case should they decide to try and separate you from the pack. 

He can’t think of a reason why they would now. The bonds are too strong. The separation of just one of them has proven to disrupt the bonds between all five of you. He can only imagine how Simon is feeling, being apart from everyone. It’s never bothered him before, but that had been before your presence. If Simon was incapable of fulfilling his duties and performing the task he had been assigned, they would have forced him out of the field and sent him back by now. 

Perhaps your fears were right and Simon isn’t as in love as John thought he was. 

He shakes the thought from his head. He’s seen the way Simon looks at you, the obvious change in his demeanor since your trip to town, the changes that have happened in your demeanor around him. Simon cares for you deeply, more than just as an alpha in your pack. 

He tries the handle of your door, surprised again when it opens. He might have thought you’d start locking it at night again with how much you’ve regressed. Maybe this was your silent plea for help, for comfort, for something other than the emptiness inside you. He slips into the room, letting his eyes adjust to the dim light of your nightlight in the corner. He can’t see you except for your arm tossed around the giant bear. It’s wearing a black shirt, likely the one Johnny had given you. It was a good decision, offering you at least an extension of the missing alpha. 

He approaches the bed quietly, not wanting to startle you. He doesn’t want to climb over you either, but he knows moving the bear will wake you. Perhaps you’re exhausted and sleeping hard enough he won’t disturb you. 

He picks the lesser of two evils, lifting the bear. He curses silently when your body shoots up as soon as the bear slips from your grasp. 

“No!” You shout, almost like an angry child having their toy taken away. It’s a desperate sound, a shocking one, ringing loud in the silence. You’re reaching for the bear, trying to tug it from his hands. 

“Easy, easy.” He says, putting his hand on your arm, your movements slowing to a stop as his touch brings back to reality. “I’m just moving him.” He shifts the bear to your other side, your body rolling to follow it. 

He climbs into the bed, barely managing to fit on the mattress. It’s a tight squeeze with the two of you and the bear, but he’ll manage it. He’s slept in tighter places. He slips an arm under you, the other reaching across you to settle on the bear. 

“Tight squeeze with the three of us.” He says quietly, trying to ease some of the tension. 

“Need bigger beds.” You murmur, voice slightly muffled from where your face is pressed against the bear. 

He chuckles quietly. “I won’t argue with that. Perhaps someday.” 

You shift slightly at his words, obviously not expecting him to continue your conversation from earlier this week. He normally tried to avoid thinking too far into the future. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up for something he might never get to have. Or, at least he used to feel that way. 

Things have changed. 

“I used to think this job would be all I did.” He continues, speaking almost to himself. “I’d never grow old enough to retire. Someday I’d die in the field and that was good enough for me. Then, of course, things changed. Had those three other muppets to worry about.” He slips his arm from the bear to wrap around your stomach. “Then another little muppet got added. Now I’m thinking about a nice little cottage by the sea, big enough for five, with a nice flower garden in the front. Just a short walk to the beach, where we can sit and watch the sun set.” 

“White picket fence dreams.” You say quietly. 

“Or at least the British equivalent of that.” He says, a smile tugging at his lips. 

You shift slightly in his arms, pressing back against his chest as you turn as far as you can. “You mean it?” 

“Of course.” He says, his thumb gently rubbing your stomach through your shirt. “Things have changed. Priorities have shifted, and not just for me.” 

He presses his forehead against the side of your head, breathing in the soft scent of your strawberry body wash and the new vanilla scented shampoo Johnny had gotten you. There’s a faint hint of leather beneath your scent, the smell rubbing off from Simon’s shirt you dressed the bear in. He can almost imagine Simon in place of the bear, both of their arms tangling around you as they surround you and keep you safe from the outside world. Just a moment of peace in the hectic violence and chaos of their lives. 

“John?” You say quietly, pulling him from the edge of sleep that had settled in his mind. 

He hums quietly in response, forcing himself back to consciousness again. 

There’s a moment’s pause, a second of silence, and for a moment he wonders if you’re going to speak at all. “Don’t let go.” You finally say, your voice quiet and broken in the silence. 

“Never.” He says, tightening his hold around you. 

John's phone ringing drags you from the light sleep you had managed to slip into. It hasn't been long since you drifted off you think, but then again, it's hard to tell. It's still dark out, and you're still in the same position. John lets go of you to reach for his phone on your nightstand barely managing to grab it at the awkward angle he’s at. 

His voice is rough with sleep as he answers. “Hello?” 

It's quiet for a moment. You can't hear much aside from a male voice on the other side. You can't tell who it is or what they're saying. 

“Good to hear.” He says, slipping into the Captain again. 

Something stirs in your stomach as you try to listen, try to catch who it is. Just one word, just one hint. 

“I'm sure.” There’s another pause, this one feeling like a lifetime. “I have someone here next to me that would like to talk to you too.”

You nearly elbow John in the stomach in your frantic attempt to turn over. You yank the offered phone from his hand as you lean the top half of your body on his stomach. “Hello?” Your voice wavers as you say it, the emotions beginning to stir within you again. 

There's a second delay before you hear it. “Hello, love.” 

You nearly cry at finally hearing his voice again, the pet name causing a fluttering in your stomach. You've never heard him call you that before. “I missed you.” You finally say, managing to get the words out. 

“That's what I'm hearing.” He says, and you can imagine the lifting of his cheeks under the mask, the slight crinkle of his eyes as he smiles. 

“When will you be back?” You ask. 

“Soon. Won't be much longer.” He says. 

“Be careful.” You say, your breathing shaky. “You better not come back hurt.” You're not sure you could handle it if he came back on a stretcher, or even with a single bandaid. 

“Yes ma'am.” He says seriously, but you can hear the humor in his tone. “I'll try my best.” 

“Good.” You say, wanting to lay there, to listen to him breathing for a while, just so that you know he’s really there, he’s really alright. You know you can’t though, your fingers shaking as you pass the phone back to John. 

He speaks to Simon for a couple more minutes while you lay across his stomach, listening to the rumble of his voice in your ear. Relief is flooding through you after hearing Simon's voice. He's really alright, he's fine, he's coming home. 

“You alright, sweetheart?” John asks after hanging up, his hand coming to rest on your back. 

A thousand words want to come out of your mouth, but you can't get them up past the lump in your throat. “He called me love.” You finally say, replaying the pet name over and over in your head. 

“Did he?” John asks, and you can picture the way his lips turn up in a smile. 

“He's never called me that before.” You say. 

“Well then I'm sure he meant it.” John says. 

You sure hope so. 

It's a week later when you get to stand on the tarmac again, waiting for a plane to land. It's early, the sky clear and the sun just starting to rise over the trees, casting everything in a golden light. It’s so vastly different from how the world had looked when he left, the weather seeming to convey your inner feelings. The rain and darkness a perfect symbol of the dread and pain of him leaving. Now that he’s returning the sun is out and the sky is clear, conveying your relief. You’re beginning to feel again, the ache in your chest beginning to lessen. It’s the most alive you’ve felt since he left. 

You're in a dress today, the yellow sundress that Johnny had bought you. You wonder if he’d done it on purpose, perhaps knowing something you don’t. Despite the sun rising, there’s still a chill in the air, and you had quickly stolen his sweatshirt to cover your bare shoulders. 

You squeeze John's hand as the plane comes in to land, watching it approach in eager anticipation. You're going to hug him tightly, throw your arms around him and refuse to let go until you have no choice. You're going to give him the greeting he deserved weeks ago when they all came back. 

He's like a magnet, halfway down the ramp when you start approaching, moving without even thinking. He's in his full mask, the one with the half skull sewed to it. He looks dangerous and deadly, the true visage of a Ghost, but you approach without fear, without hesitation. Underneath all of it you know there’s Simon, the man you’ve quickly fallen in love with. 

You're ready to hug him, to feel him again, to wrap yourself around him like you could sink right into his body. 

You're not prepared for what he does next. 

One of his hands reaches up, the fabric of his gloves rough on your skin as he grips your chin, his thumb on one side, digging into your jaw, the other four fingers on the other side holding your head still. His other hand pulls his mask up over his mouth, giving you a glimpse of his stubble and chapped lips. 

You don't get to look long as he leans down, pressing his lips to yours. 

It's like time freezes as he kisses you, your skin erupting in goosebumps, and it's not from the cold air. You weren't expecting this, your brain trying to catch up, to process that this is really happening, that this is real. 

He tilts your head to the side, deepening the kiss as he leans closer into you. Your hands reach up, closing around the sleeves of his jacket. He's real, he's really here, and he's kissing you. 

The moment likely doesn't last more than 30 seconds, but it feels like forever as his lips move against yours. It might be cliche to say fireworks are going off, but that may have just been the engines of the plane shutting down.  

He finally pulls away from you, his hand still gripping your jaw. You could melt into a puddle right there, his eyes speaking volumes of what's going on in his head. He's done a lot of thinking in his time away. You wonder how many thoughts you've shared over the last two weeks. 

“Should have done that before I left.” He says, his voice rough, but just as you remember. 

Tears prick behind your eyes as you stare up at him. His fingers are digging into your jaw, but you don’t care. He’s here, he’s back, he’s safe, and he just kissed you like you’d wanted to before he left. 

“I wish you had.” You say, as he slowly releases your jaw, his hand brushing your throat before it drops to his side. You let out a shaky breath before throwing your arms around him, holding onto him tightly. 

“What are you doing?” He says, taking you back all those weeks ago to when you hugged him the first time. There’s no confusion in his tone now though, instead there’s an amused lilt to it. 

“Giving you the hug you deserve so you don't get mad at me.” You say, your voice slightly muffled from your face being squished against his chest.

“You think I'd get mad about not getting a hug after kissing you?” He asks, patting your back. 

“Just making sure.” You say, his chuckle reverberating in your ear. 

You don’t release him as he begins to walk to where the others are, keeping your arms wrapped around him tightly. He greets the others, Johnny squishing you between them as he hugs his alpha. You don't care as Ghost's armor digs into your body, it's just a reminder that this is real. He's really here. This isn’t a dream. 

He's really back. 

You sit between Simon and Johnny in the back seat of the car. It's a tight squeeze between the two, but you don't care one bit. Johnny's hand rests on your thigh as John drives back to the barracks. Perhaps you’re still reeling a bit from the kiss, or perhaps it’s Simon’s scent, but you want to push Johnny’s hand higher, hike up your dress and hope Simon gets a peek at what's waiting underneath. You won’t though. You want him to be comfortable. You want your first moments of intimacy to be just the two of you, something special. 

Dread begins to fill you again as the car rolls to a stop outside the barracks. You know what to expect now, having gone through it once before. He’s not truly back, he still has to leave you again. At least this time, you have the others. 

“I'll see you soon.” Simon says, squeezing your arm. 

“Hurry back?” You stare up at him. 

“As fast as I can.” He says, the corners of his eyes crinkling. 

You're tempted to kiss him again, but you don't want to push his boundaries. Sure, he had kissed you, but it could have been a fluke, a one time thing born out of desire and time spent apart. 

You won't care if he never kisses you again. At least you know what it feels like. 

Thankfully he makes the decision for you as he turns his body slightly towards you, as much as he can in the tight space. He lifts the bottom of his mask, leaning down to kiss you again. You purr against his lips, your scent exploding in the car like a smoke bomb. 

Johnny lets out an extensive curse as he fumbles for the door handle, forcing it open in an attempt to escape the sudden onslaught. Kyle is quick to follow, allowing more air in to disperse the intensity of your scent in the confined space. John rolls his window down, lighting a cigar, trying to do anything to keep your scent from going straight to his head. 

You feel giddy and almost proud as Simon places one last soft peck against your lips. You don’t want to let him go, but you know you have to. He’s not quite yours yet. He still has more of his job to do before then. 

Always the job first. 

Your lips are still tingling as you walk into the barracks, your heart still fluttering in your chest. Johnny is staring at you, almost walking sideways. You glance at him out of the corner of your eye, your face warming. 

“What?” You ask, finally looking at him. He’s wearing that stupid, smug grin on his face again.

“Been a long time since I've seen him like that” He says, squeezing your arm gently. “Not since his first romp with Kyle.” 

You turn to look at the other beta behind you who simply shrugs. “What can I say? No one's immune to my charm.” He gives you a dazzling smile. He’s not wrong, his smile causing butterflies to flutter in your stomach. 

“Cannae wait to see him glowin’ after his first taste of our sweet omega.” Johnny says, backing you against the wall. 

“Yeah, well, you might be waiting forever for that.” You say, stopping his approach with a hand on his chest. 

He tilts his head at you, his brows furrowing. “What do ye mean, kitten?” 

“I'm not even sure he's going to want that, much less if he'll do it.” You shrug. The thought has been going through your mind despite the kiss in the car. Though he’s kissed you twice, that’s a big leap to make, a leap you might never make. 

Johnny snorts at your response. “Kitten, he's been holdin’ himself back for weeks. He's just worried he may...be too much for ye.”

You give Johnny a look. “I can handle you, can't I?”

Johnny grins. “Aye, but this is...different. He's not gonnae make the first move. If ye want it,” He leans in closer. “Yer gonnae have to do it yourself.”

“Well,” You slip under his arm, nearly making him faceplant on the wall. “Then I best save my stamina for him, then.” 

Kyle laughs, patting Johnny's back. “Set yourself up for that one, mate.”

You peel off Johnny's sweatshirt, adjusting the top of your dress before tossing his sweatshirt to him. “I'll see you both later.” You give them a smirk before turning on your toes, heading back to your room. 

Johnny curses quietly behind you, and you just know his eyes are glued to your ass. 

Johnny’s words replay over and over in your head as you go through your day as usual. Simon had returned to the barracks, going straight to his room to shower. You had been tempted to step into the hallway, to wait for him, but you know he’s not free yet. He still has paperwork to do, which you know from experience that could take a long time. 

Thankfully, that gives you plenty of time to think about what you’re going to do. You're going to have to make the first move, but what if you move too fast? How do you even broach the subject? 

“Hey Simon, welcome back. Would you like to rearrange my guts?” 

“I cried the whole time you were gone, would you like to make me cry for a different reason?”

“Bend me over and fuck me like a real alpha.”

You facepalm at your own thoughts. You could just slowly initiate it. Start with touches, getting closer, more kisses. Leave yourself open to him in hopes he gets the message, that he pushes past that boundary and finally fucks you like he wants to. 

Heat blooms in your stomach, sinking between your legs. You're all worked up and he’s only kissed you twice. Johnny’s words don’t help the fantasies in your mind. He’s scared you won’t be able to handle him. A shiver runs down your spine at the thought. He’s a big man. You know, you’ve felt it before. It’s hard not to, with some of the positions he’s put you in during your training, nothing but those grey sweatpants and his underwear as a barrier. 

You wonder how he'll do it. Bend you over so you won't see his face? Keep the mask on and put you on your back so you can hold eye contact with him? Or will he finally take the mask off, finally let you see his face? 

You assume the others have seen it, so when will it be your turn? 

It’s not until after dinner when you hear footsteps down the hall. Johnny had gotten food for Simon who was still deep in his paperwork when you left for the mess. Despite his absence at the table still, it had felt less gaping, less like a black hole threatening to suck you all in. He’s back, he’s here. Soon he’ll fill that empty space again. 

You try to stop yourself from running out of your room when the steps get closer. You’re not even sure it’s him. You don’t want to disappoint the others if you leave your room so excitedly in the hopes that they’re Simon. So instead, you stay seated on the edge of your bed, staring at your unlocked door. You want him to open it, to step into your room, but you know he won’t. He’s never been in your room. The furthest he’s entered is your doorway. 

You’ll have to make the first move. 

Your stomach nearly leaps out of your body as the boots stop in front of your door. You hold your breath in anticipation, too scared to move, too scared to throw open the door and risk your excitement being too much. You might push him away in your eagerness, but you’re not sure you can hide it much longer. You’d let him bend you over with the door open, hell, you’d let him take you in the hallway. 

One step at a time. One step at a time. 

You repeat it over and over in your head as you push yourself off your bed, moving to the door. He’s not going to knock, he’s going to wait for you to open it, for you to remove that barrier between you. He’s giving you the chance to change your mind, to go back, to call the two kisses enough and draw the line where you want it. 

The doorknob is cold in your sweaty hand as you grasp it, turning it slowly. The gavel is falling, the slow opening of the door marks the finality, the crumbling of the final barrier. There’s no going back. The bond is too strong, the line has been removed completely. 

You stare up at Simon as the door swings as far as it will open. His eye black is gone, washed off in the shower revealing the pale skin underneath. He smells good, cleaner than he had on the tarmac. You can smell it despite the space between you. Under the smell of his generic soap you can pick up his natural scent. Leather and eucalyptus and the musk of alpha. You want to drown yourself in it, rub it all over your skin until your own scent is gone. 

“Hi.” You say, goosebumps forming across your skin from the intensity of his gaze. You’d forgotten how sharp it is, how easily he can peel away your layers as he stares at you. 

“Hi.” He says, his voice rumbling deep in his chest. You’d forgotten how deep it really is, the roughness around the edges harsher than usual, but you expected that. They had all been a bit hoarse after returning from their group deployment. 

You continue to stare at him, lost in his earthy gaze. The hole in your chest has lessened to almost nothing, slowly the bond repairing itself just from the knowledge he's here, he’s standing in front of you. He’s real. 

You clear your throat, smoothing your hands over your dress. His eyes drop, following the movement. “I thought you'd want to rest.” It's the first thing you can think of to say, speechless in his presence. He must be tired. 

“I slept on the plane.” He shrugs. 

“Yeah, but surely a real bed is a relief.” You say. You’d half expected him to retreat to his room, seeking out a comfortable bed. They’re not all that comfortable, but compared to what he probably was sleeping on these last couple weeks, it must feel like heaven. 

“Probably is.” He says, his gaze shifting back to your face. 

You sink your teeth into your lip as you stare up at him. You’re testing the waters, pushing into new territory as the last walls of the barrier crumble around you. “You could go rest.” You say, shifting on your feet, giving him the option to turn away, to change his mind. “I’m sure you missed your bed.” 

He’s still as a statue as he looms in your doorway, his frame filling it easily, making you feel small. “I'd rather relax in yours.”

Your face warms at his words, not expecting him to say that. The warmth pooling in your stomach intensifies, your heart fluttering in your chest. You’re not sure what happened during his assignment, what caused such a drastic change. You want to know what went through his head, what he was thinking about. Did he picture you at night when he got a moment to rest? Was he imagining you there with him, curled up against him? Or was he picturing you in other positions? 

You might never know, just another secret hidden between you. 

A shudder runs through him. You can see it, the slight twitch in his body, his hands closing into fists. He’s responding to you, to your scent. Such power you could hold over him if you were brave enough to try. 

Such power he could hold over you, if he wanted to. 

“You could come in.” You say, taking half a step back in invitation. 

He doesn’t move, still frozen there like a statue. You wonder how he stays so still, but that was probably part of his training. Be as steady as possible while shooting, how to be invisible even in broad daylight. “You're sure?” He finally rumbles out, his foot shifting just a centimeter, but you catch it. 

You shrug. “Why not? You are part of this pack. You could have entered sooner, if you wanted to. I wouldn’t have minded.” 

He hesitates for just a second before moving his foot from the tile and into your room. He pauses there for a moment, watching you, waiting for a reaction. It’s your turn to stay still, staring up at him as he makes the slow transition into your room, venturing into your sacred space, a place he’s never been in before. 

He moves the other foot, taking the first step over that line, pushing himself past that barrier, leaving it crumbling behind him. 

There’s no going back. 

Something shifts inside you as he enters your room, a weight you hadn’t even realized was there lifting off your shoulders. The hole in your chest is gone, the missing piece back in place. All the tumultuous emotions, all the stress and the fear and the anguish is gone. Your room is safe again, complete again with him in it. Tears prick at your eyes as relief floods through you. No one is getting in, no one can get in now, not with him here. You want to hug him, to kiss him again, drag him onto the bed and make him hold you for a while. 

You don’t. You stay still as he takes in your space, his eyes scanning your belongings and your decorations. He’s never truly seen it in the light. The only time he’d stared into it was that morning when you thought maybe someone had broken in, when your fear had fucked with your emotions enough to think they’d truly let someone enter without their knowledge. 

How silly that thought had been. 

His eyes move to your bed, landing on the giant bear wearing his black shirt. Your teeth sink into your lip as you stare at it as well, suddenly thinking you should have removed the shirt, shoving it into your laundry and moving the bear back to your desk. Yet, you want him to see it, want him to see that you tried to comfort yourself in his absence, tried to make a placeholder for him. You won’t need it now, though. Not with the real thing standing in your space. 

He shakes his head as he stares at it, rolling his eyes as he lets out a sigh. “Fucking hell.”

@bobaprint @ashy-kit @anunintentionalwriter @mockerycrow @protokosmonaut

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#call of duty #call of duty fic #task force 141 x reader #tf 141 x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #john price x reader #captain price x reader #john soap mctavish x reader #soap x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #gaz x reader #a/b/o #omegaverse #alpha/beta/omega dynamics

[roseghoul26]

Hello! I would like to request Cooper Howard x gn!reader (post war, because...murderous cowboy...hnnngh), where they struggle with mental health issues like depression? I've been in a really tough spot, having no energy or motivation to do anything or really any desire to take care of myself. So I was thinking, maybe the reader's mental health is declining, they're slower and sloppier when it comes to keeping up with Cooper and he's more and more frustrated. Then one day he has enough (maybe the reader is taking too long packing up) and threatens to leave them and they're just...passive, because they really don't care anymore about what happens to them. So he realises they haven't been taking care of themselves properly for a while now and then some soft moments with him? I know this is pretty dark and you can change this however you'd like, but I'm dying for some hurt/comfort with this man 🥺 It's totally cool if it's too much for you, if you decide to not write this, please just let me know, so I don't wait for it. Thank you so much, I love your Cooper fics <3

Cooper Howard | The Ghoul x gn!Reader

Synopsis: You’ve been struggling lately, putting both you and your traveling companion in danger. He was bound to confront you about it eventually. Tags: Prompt Request, Not Beta Read, Gender Neutral Reader, Depression, Mental Health, Mentions of Suicide, Disagreements, Comfort, Lazy Day, Cuddling, Beginning Relationships Author's Note: Trigger warning for topics relating to mental health, such as depression and suicide. Please do not read if you’re not in a good mental space. Take care of yourselves. Also, everyone’s experience with depression and mental health issues differs, so I am writing this story the way I experience it. Also, this was a fun challenge to write. Like how the hell would he approach a topic like this? It’s been fun to explore his character like that, and I hope I did it justice. Thank you so much for the request! <333

You used to be able to keep up with the Ghoul. 

Wherever he went, you followed, tearing through the Wastleland without hindrance. You watched his back, and he yours, a security that was unheard of in this world. It was a trusting friendship, bordering on something else, something that neither of you had crossed yet. You couldn't compete with over a hundred years of experience with a gun, but you were able to hold your own quite well. You were a decent shot and someone who never let anyone get the drop on you, senses always sharp. 

So when you started missing easy targets and found yourself surprised by opponents one too many times, you knew it was a matter of time before the Ghoul started asking questions and not believing the first lie that you said. The first time it had happened, you blamed it on your lack of sleep, and he seemed to buy it. And maybe you convinced yourself it was just a lack of sleep, ignoring the darkness that had begun to emerge in your mind. You just needed to rest, was what you told yourself. 

It happened again a few days later, completely missing a target in front of you. Your reactions had begun to slow down, too, unable to avoid the swing of a blade, cutting across your cheek. It was like your body gave up on wanting to move, an unbearable weariness to your muscles that you were unable to shake. Later, as you bandaged the wound on your cheek, the Ghoul confronted you, demanding to know why you were acting so sloppy. You’d merely shrugged, offering up the idea that you were sick. This time he seemed less convinced, yet he had let the matter go. 

You knew why you were acting the way you were. You weren’t unfamiliar with depression, far from it. It was something you’d dealt with your entire life, coming and going like waves. You’d go days, weeks, months and you’d be fine, but then a flip would switch. You’d lose your energy, your motivation, wanting nothing more than to just lay on the ground and never get back up. You’d stop taking care of your body. You’d lose your appetite. Your thoughts would turn dark, ideations and ideas flashing in your mind, things that you’d never tell another soul. 

For the months you’d been traveling with the Ghoul, you’d been able to keep a reign on your depression. Sure, you had your off days, but nothing like this. It was like the universe was punishing you for having such an excellent past months. 

But how could you explain this to your traveling partner? How could you explain that you didn’t have the energy to continue existing, to continue fighting? He needed you to be alert, to not have your thoughts occupied with something, that in perspective to the Wasteland around you, was trivial. 

So you kept your mouth shut, forcing yourself to appear alert and unaffected. You forced those thoughts to the back of your mind. You forced your body to move, no matter how much it screamed at you to just be still.

But it seemed that all that bottling your thoughts up did was make it worse. As the days dragged on, you stopped talking, only muttering small words whenever the Ghoul asked you a question. You’d normally spend the time traveling conversing, and the Ghoul did try to initiate a conversation with you, but no amount of questions and joking and jabs could get you to break. Eventually, he fell quiet too.

Sleeping became a challenge. You’d think with how exhausted your body felt, you’d be able to sleep easily, but the opposite was true. Hours would tick by, and you’d lie awake, getting up the next morning more exhausted than before you went to bed. Your face, already a bit gaunt from living such a difficult life, had grown even more so, the circles around your eyes darkening and your lips growing more chapped. 

You stopped eating, turning away the food he offered you. After you went a few days without eating more than a bite, he practically forced spoonfuls of food into your mouth, snapping at you the entire time. It was humiliating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to change. You just wanted to be done. 

You could tell that your demeanor was starting to annoy the hell out of the Ghoul, whose words had turned shorter and snappier. If you took too long, he’d grab you by the shoulder and drag you along, like an upset parent with their child. Your cheeks would burn every time, tears pickling your eyes, and you’d hang your head. 

There was a tension growing between you and the Ghoul, your friendship growing thin. His guard was up constantly, unable to trust you any longer to watch his back, which hurt you more than any knife or gun. Soft glances disappeared, his gaze scrutinizing when he looked at you. Light touches from him reserved for when you were at rest were no more, as you chose to keep to yourself every night. Instead of walking side-by-side, you’d linger a few feet behind him. You pretended like it was easier this way, to make him push you away, but it was tearing you apart. 

But eventually, that tension snapped. Too many close calls, too many sluggish movements, too many half-hearted excuses finally made him break. You’d just gotten up for the day, another sleepless night behind you, and you were packing up your few belongings. You must’ve been taking too long, because you heard him sigh audibly, standing in the open doorway of the room you’d sheltered in for the night. “What’s your fuckin’ issue?” He growled, arms crossed tight over his chest.

You looked up, feigning confusion. “I dunno what-”

“Bullshit,” he cut you off. He began to walk towards you, his steps methodical, threatening. “You’ve been actin’ like this for weeks, and you’ve only offered me half-assed excuses.” He was seething, and understandably so. He crouched down in front of you, rendering you unable to escape. “So, you,” he stuck a finger in your chest, barely avoiding hitting you, “are gonna tell me why. And don’t even think ‘bout lyin’, sweetheart.”

You swallowed, heart hammering in your chest at the confrontation. Words flooded your mind, a full explanation on the tip of your tongue, yet you just couldn’t bring yourself to utter it. Your mouth opened and closed, struggling, until you eventually just gave up. Sighing, you just shook your head, which pissed him off even more. 

A disbelieving laugh left him, and he ran a gloved hand over his face. “No? You’re kiddin’ me, right?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Ya know, I’ve tried to be lenient. I bought into your fuckin’ lies that you were ‘just tired’, ‘just sick’. I tried to give ya space, to give ya time to get out of this. But you’re gonna get us both killed if ya don’t fix yourself. I can’t be distracted out there, constantly worried ‘bout you and keepin’ you alive, ‘cause it seems like that’s the last thing on your mind.”

He took a breath, steadying his rising voice. “So I’m gonna give ya one more chance to explain yourself, or else I’m leavin’ without ya.”

“Then leave.” Your response came almost immediately, your voice lacking any inflection. Even though in the back of your mind you were screaming at him not to leave, you kept an air of indifference about you, unable to make yourself care. It would be easier if he just left, wouldn’t it? You wouldn’t be putting anyone else in danger, and you wouldn’t have to deal with the guilt you felt of him worrying about you so much. And it would be so much easier to just disappear if there was no one looking for you.

He wasn’t expecting that as a response if the look on his face told you anything. His brow muscles were raised, leaning back from you in shock. But the way he was watching you, it was like he was observing you in a different light, dots beginning to connect in his mind. “You’ll die out there without me.” 

You merely shrugged your shoulders, glancing down to continue packing your belongings, no longer able to look him in the eye. He didn’t respond, simply standing up with a sigh. You didn’t look up, not even as you heard him walk away, backing towards the entrance of the room. You didn’t look up, even as you heard the surprisingly gentle click of the door as it shut. You didn’t look up, even as the tears that you’d been holding for the past weeks finally fell.

You were alone.

You thought it would make you feel better like there would be a weight lifted off your shoulders. But everything just felt heavier, the thoughts in your mind becoming a tempest, making you physically weak. Expletives tumbled from your lips as you sagged down onto your arms, head hung. Of course, he’d fucking leave, you idiot. No one wants to deal with your moping.

A part of you wanted to chase after him, to beg him to stay, but you already felt pathetic enough. You couldn’t blame him for leaving, not at all. You were weighing him down, putting his life in danger; he said so himself. He could only deal with you for so long. You should be grateful that he didn’t leave sooner.

The sound of rustling fabric made you jump, finally looking up. The Ghoul had taken off his jacket, laying it across the back of the couch he had slept on, never having left the room at all. Stunned, you watched him sit, taking his hat off in the process and setting it on the floor. He finally caught your eye then, a soft look on his face, a look you hadn’t seen in a long while. 

“I thought you left,” you whispered, sitting back upright. Embarrassment warmed your cheeks, and you tried to wipe the tears that had fallen on them. 

“I ain’t leavin’ ya, sweetheart.”

“Why not?”

He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Do you want me to go?” You’d never shaken your head faster in your life. “Then I’m stayin’.”

“But why?”

He sighed. “‘Cause I care ‘bout you. I… Is that too hard to believe?”

It is. Unable to find words, you just shrugged again. 

Something akin to regret or remorse flashed across his face, and muttering something under his breath he reclined against the couch. He was upset, but even now you could tell it was not because of you, at least not fully. “C’mere,” he murmured, patting the couch beside him. “You look like you’re gonna fuckin’ bolt at any second.”

Taking a steadying breath, you complied, albeit with some difficulty, your legs barely wanting to function. His gaze didn’t leave you once, as much as you wished it would, making you want to collapse in on yourself. The walk to the couch felt like it was miles long, but you eventually made your way over to it and him. 

He rolled his eyes when you just stood there in front of him, unsure of what to do with yourself. “Sit down, I ain’t gonna fuckin’ bite.” In another situation, you knew he’d add some comment like unless ya want me to, but he bit his tongue. The couch groaned as you sat next to the Ghoul, keeping a foot between your bodies. “Talk to me,” he commanded, yet his voice was gentle. “What the hell’s goin’ on?”

You picked at the skin around your nails, no doubt drawing blood. “I’m… I’m not quite sure how to explain it,” you responded, and you expected your words to upset the man even more. But he nodded his head slowly, an almost understanding look on his face. “I’m just… done."

“Done with… what? Bein’ out on the road?” You shook your head. “Travellin’ with me?” You shook your head again, this time more vehemently. “Done with what?” You knew that he knew the answer to his question, but he wanted you to say it.

“I’m done with… with existing. I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. I’m just so tired of it all.” You sagged back against the couch like speaking took a toll on your body. “I’m so tired.”

He didn’t respond for a while, mulling over your words. “That… that explains a lot,” he chuckled humourlessly. “Your mind won’t just leave ya the hell alone, will it? It's like all your mind can focus on are these terrible fuckin’ things, no matter what ya do. And it just weighs on ya, like a million pounds, getting worse with every passin’ day until you just wanna… give up.”

He explained it perfectly, and you cocked your head to the side, a bit confused about how he was able to do so. “I ain’t a stranger to what you’re goin’ through. We’re well fuckin’ acquainted, to say the least. So I shoulda recognized it sooner with ya.” 

He paused, sighing. “Wanna know somethin’?” You nodded. “I was too busy thinkin’ ‘bout what I did to upset ya that I didn’t bother to think of any other possible reason as to why you’re actin’ the way you are. But once I realized it wasn’t my fault, not entirely, instead of bein’ there for ya, I was an ass. I thought, because I’m a damn idiot, that you were just mopin’ around for the hell of it, putting us both in danger simply ‘cause you were tired or some shit. Not once did I stop to think why. And I apologize.”

“You don’t gotta-” He cut you off with a pointed look. “I… I accept your apology, then.”

He nodded slowly, content. “I’d like to help ya, sweetheart. I know nothin’ I say or do is gonna make it go away like that… but I’d like to try. Whatever ya need from me, and you’ve got it.”

“I’m not sure what I need exactly,” you admitted quietly.

“When ya figure it out, will ya let me know?” You nodded.

“Just… be patient. As difficult as that is for you.” You hadn’t meant for the jab to come out, but you weren’t taking it back. Especially when a loud laugh left the Ghoul, making a smile of your own appear on your face. It was faint, yet it was there.

An almost starstruck expression appeared on his face, his laughter dying out. “I missed seein’ ya smile,” he murmured as if it was a subconscious thought.

You ducked your head, making him laugh again. “As for bein’ patient, well, I can be that, if that’s what ya need.”

“It’ll take some time,” you cautioned again, indirectly giving him a chance to back out of this. 

“Time ain’t an issue. I’ll wait as long as it fuckin’ takes.”

“You mean it?” Your voice was so soft, barely audible to either of you. 

You watched as one of his gloved hands inched towards you, palm upturned. Tentatively, you placed your in his, eyes growing wide when he brought your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it gently. “I swear,” he uttered, sealing the promise with another press of his lips.

As you returned your tingling hand to your lap, his eyes scanned over your face, a furrow appearing between his brow. “How long has it been since you’ve eaten somethin’? Somethin’ that I didn’t force ya to eat,” he added when you opened your mouth to respond. 

Your silence said enough, and he leaned down to his bag, which he had placed beside the couch when he sat. After a few moments of rustling through, he handed you a small bag of what appeared to be jerky, as well as a small canteen of water. “It ain’ human,” he added when you eyed the bag suspiciously before taking it.

The jerky was salty and tough when you took a bite, not quite wanting to, but unable to not eat under his gaze. You ate in silence until your stomach was full and your teeth hurt from the tough material. Taking a swig of water, you could feel your eyes growing heavy, eating seemingly draining your energy more than replenishing it. Stifling a yawn, you shoved the canteen back into his hand, and you noticed he had an almost pleased look on his face. 

You were confused, though, when he stood, making his way to the entrance of the room. For a moment, those thoughts flashed in your mind that told you that he was finally leaving, that he realized how pathetic you were. But instead of doing any of those things, you watched as he simply wedged a chair under the handle of the door, like he had done before you went to bed for the night. 

“What’re you doing?”

“We takin’ the day off. Doctor’s orders.”

“But aren’t we supposed to be in Filly in a few days?”

“We’ll be fine. You are gonna spend today catchin’ up on some much-needed rest.” He stood in front of you now, a moth-eaten blanket in his hands. 

“And what are you gonna do?” You asked, and he shrugged. 

“Don’t worry ‘bout me, sweetheart. Go ‘head, lie down.”

Your eyes quickly scanned the couch, and you took a deep breath before speaking again. “The couch is big enough for us both, no?”

For the second time that day, you’d stunned him with your responses. “Is… is that what ya want?”

Encouraged that he hadn’t just outrightly said no, you nodded your head, and a fond look crossed his features. He handed you the blanket before sitting once more, but instead of his back being against the cushions, he rested it against one of the armrests, not before tucking a pillow in front of it. 

Once he was situated, he opened up his arms to you, and you could’ve laughed at how uncertain he looked. Hands rested on your body when you laid down, head on his chest, laying on your stomach, and you made sure the blanket covered both your bodies as best you could. You weren’t too worried about covering all of you, though, with the sheer amount of warmth he was radiating. 

His eyes were already on you when you glanced up, a smile pulling at his lips. “Comfy?”

“Yes.” Your voice was barely audible, but he heard it. 

You felt his fidget with something in his hand behind your back, but you didn’t have to wait long to find out what he was doing. You felt fingers run along your scalp, making you shudder, before combing through any hair there. “Alright?”

You sighed contently, nodding your head before letting it fall back onto his chest. He continued to run his fingers there, his other hand tracing patterns across your shoulders. You hadn’t realized how tired you were until now, finding it hard to keep your eyes open. For the first time in a long time, you felt safe. Safe from the world outside this room. Safe from the thoughts that plagued your mind. Safe from everything. 

He didn’t have to see your face to know that you were struggling to stay awake. “Go to bed. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“Promise?”

“Ain’t fuckin’ like I’m gonna be able to get up,” he chuckled, before taking a more serious tone. “I promise.”

That was all you needed to hear before you finally let the final strings of consciousness leave your grasp. Before you lost control of all your senses, though, you felt him lean down, pressing a barely-there kiss to the top of your head. “You’ll get through this, sweetheart.”

You believed him.

#the ghoul x you #the ghoul x reader #fallout tv series #cooper howard #cooper howard x you #cooper howard x reader #fallout prime #fallout show #fallout

[evdarlin]

School Kid Crush

*A/N okay so this is the first thing I've wrote since I was like 18 writing about one direction so I'm sorry if its complete dog shit. I tried and kinda want to make it a series maybe if people actually like it but yeah be easy on me pls*

From the moment that I met Spencer Agnew on my very first day at Smosh as the new Games PA, we instantly clicked. We would spend every lunch together quoting obscure movies or Family Guy. We hung out at each other’s apartments many weekends, me just watching him play video games or forcing him to watch Bridgerton with me. There was something there and I think we all could feel it. Spencer was always the one I could go to geek out about the things I always thought I was being annoying talking about. It was almost like I had met my other half which could only be explained as the most terrifying but best feeling in the world. The whole office knew that there was something there but I might be speaking for myself but I did not want to act on it solely from my own relationship problems and that we were coworkers and did not want to make things so complicated. So for now, we are just good good friends who might just be completely infatuated with each other.

Walking into the Smosh office on Friday morning felt like every other morning on the last day of the week. I didn’t get enough sleep and would rather have been curled up back in my bed asleep but someone has to pay rent. Once I arrived at my desk directly across from Courtney’s, I could see that some sweet angel had placed my dear alani drink right in front of my computer. There was only one person who could have brought that for me and I knew it was Spencer so I took off to the Games pod to thank him dearly. 

“Have I ever told you that you are a godsend and have saved my life on multiple occasions?” I say while walking up to Spencer’s desk.

“Well yes but have I ever told you that you are severely overdramatic with your words?” He said as he swiveled around in his chair.

“Alright that’s rude but I’ll let it slide since you brought me a drink sir.” I rolled my eyes and took a seat on the little couch in the small space. The office was pretty quiet this morning which is unusual but I welcomed it. “How long do you think it’s going to take before someone is yelling in here?”

“I say give it about ten minutes when Angela comes in and sees that she has to take care of that baby today” Spencer laughed and almost on cue heard Chanse cackling at Angela.

“Are you going to Courtney and Shayne’s combined bachelor party tonight?” Spencer suddenly looked nervous asking this question which is new for him around me that is.

“Yeah, I was going to head home after work to change then head over to the place, are you going?” I asked, praying and hoping he was going not wanting to miss a chance to hang out with him outside of these four walls of the Smosh office. 

“Well seeing as you just said you were going then absolutely I am. Um, can I pick you up and drive you to the party maybe?” There it was again, the nervous look on his face. 

“Of course!” I said maybe a little too fast and too enthusiastic, “I mean yeah that would be okay, that way I could have at least one or two drinks while I’m there.” I did not recover from that at all but maybe he won’t notice but seeing that smirk on his face, I am wrong.

“Then I will be there to pick you up at 7:30ish, does that sound okay?” Spencer asked, seeming to be a lot more relaxed now that I said yes.

“Sure! That gives me plenty of time, see you later Spen!” I gave him a small wave and walked back to my desk to get started on my small list of tasks I mentally gave myself to get done before filming started and I had zero free time until 5 p.m. As I walked back to my desk I was brought back to how nervous Spencer was asking me if he could drive me to the party. I mean we carpool sometimes to work and even ride together to function outside of the workplace so this shouldn’t be any different right? Oh god, is this a date? Does he know it’s a date? It can’t be a date when it��s Courtney and Shayne’s day right? I’m spiraling and don’t even notice that I ran right into Tommy.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry I wasn’t paying attention at all!” I stopped to make sure I didn’t cause some huge mess by running into him.

“It’s okay Y/N! You were really deep into thought there love, you doing okay?” Tommy asked with concern written all over his face, I suppose you can tell I was going through it up in my head.

“Uh well not really but I’ll be okay.” We both started walking towards our desks, I hoped to change the subject so I no longer had to think about what’s going on inside my head but Tommy had other ideas.

“Is it Spencer? I can totally fight him if you need me to or I can hide his Kickstarters until he apologizes to you.” Tommy giggled but stopped as soon as he saw how deep red my face had become.

“Wha- How did you know?” You mean to tell me the rest of the office knew how I truly felt about Spencer, shit.

“Oh honey, the man is completely infatuated with you and I also know you’re infatuated with him. I truly thought you guys were already together and just keeping it a secret for personal reasons. You know it’s okay to like him right? I know about the whole relationship problems you’ve had in the past but I don’t think Spencer is like that actually I know he’s not.” Tommy stopped walking to put his hand on my shoulder and gave it a little squeeze.

“Nope, nope, nope. You’re wrong, I know of no such infatuation you speak of Tommy Bowe.” I avoided eye contact the entire time but eventually sighed, “Is it that obvious?”

“Eh, kind of but hey it’s okay to like someone even if you guys work together. You guys have been attached at the hip ever since you started here and I think you might be the same person. I do not think he’s going to ghost you like every other piece of shit man who has entered your life.” Tommy knew more than maybe anyone about how much self doubt I have put on myself from constantly just men stopping talking to me out of nowhere. It didn’t matter if he said he was different, none of them were. They all were the same.

“I know he is a good person Tommy but I’m not sure I could deal with losing him as a friend and even worse I would have to see him every single day at work. I promise I’m just in my head a little bit, I’ll be okay.” I gave my most convincing smile and headed to my computer to start on my work for the day.

The work day honestly flew by without any more emotional spirals even at lunch when I could see Tommy giving me those knowing looks from across the table anytime Spencer did anything remotely nice for me. I left the office the minute it hit 5 p.m. just wanting to get out of there, I didn’t even wait for Spencer to walk with him in the parking lot. I needed to get to the comfort of my apartment and be alone before I had a full blown panic attack, not to mention I needed to get ready for this party. I made it home in record time with just enough time to get ready and sit in silence and think about what I should do. I decided to say screw it and just bring up my conversation with Tommy and see what happens. Do I know what’s going to happen? Not at all but you know what I need to do something to stop this spiral. I grabbed my bag and headed out the door was I saw that Spencer said he was outside. Spencer was waiting outside his car for me and even opened the door for me, what a gentleman. 

“You were nowhere to be found after work dude, where the hell did you go?” Spencer asked, closing the door as I settled into the front seat.

“Sorry, I started feeling bad so I had to get out of there. Hope you didn’t get attacked in the parking lot without your guard dog.” I laughed as he started his car and headed towards the place where the party was being held.

“You are literally shorter than me which is saying a lot but I was a damsel in distress and you just left me alone to die.” Spencer pretended to wipe a fake tear and looked over at me giggling. “But were you okay? Like nothing happened right?”

“Yeah I was fine, Tommy just got me thinking and I just got a little overwhelmed but promise I am perfectly fine now!” I smiled and let out a breath I didn’t even know I was holding in. “It um actually was about you if I’m being honest?” 

“Me? I swear whatever it was I didn’t do it.” Spencer threw his hands up but I grabbed the wheel and gave him a glare.

“He did say that if you hurt my feelings he was going to hide your drinks until you apologize to me,” I looked over at him preparing myself for what I was going to say next, “He also said he thought we were together and were pulling a Courtney and Shayne”. 

“Hm, Tommy thinks we’re famous enough to hide our relationship like that? Wow, I am flattered.” Spencer laughed looking over at me then stopped because he realized this might be a serious conversation. “Wait, being in a relationship with me sounds so terrifying to you that you had to book it out of the office?” I looked over and saw that we had already arrived at the place but I knew our conversation was not going to end just because we were here.

“No! I just got in my head and was so scared that if you knew that I had this massive ass school kid crush on you, it would ruin this friendship we have built. I have no clue what I would do if you were not in my life, Spencer, honestly.” I realized I have just told him about this crush I have on him with my word vomit so there was no turning back now. “I like you alright, I like you a lot and it’s so damn scary because I’m terrified to lose you in any sense of my life.”

“A massive crush you say?” Spencer started giggling and all I could do was glare at him ready to smack that smirk off his face. “I like you too dummy, I thought you knew already and just saw me as your dorky coworker who also is your best friend. I promise you’re not losing me anytime soon. You’re stuck with me now babe.” He smiled and leaned over to give me a soft kiss. A kiss that I think I have been waiting for what felt like years, a kiss that seemed to let go over all of my insecurities and finally felt safe and confident in a relationship. “Now, let’s go into this party and steal Courtney and Shayne’s thunder.”

We started to walk to the door of the place, hand in hand, and ready to face all of our coworkers. The only thing you can hear as soon as we walked into the room was a far away “FUCK YEAH” which I can only place as Angela screaming.

#smosh #spencer agnew #spencer x reader #spencer agnew x reader

[desertfangs]

For the writing prompt thing: "may I have this dance?" with Lestat/Daniel

I know this took me a millennia to get to so I appreciate your patience. I'm still working on the rest of these as well. This is some Court Angst with Lestat/Daniel, featuring Louis/Armand, Louis/Lestat, and Armand/Daniel. All the angst and drama of that weird New Court Era. About 1600 words. Thank you for the ask/prompt!

Daniel shifts the collar of his shirt, trying in vain to loosen it. When that fails, he tugs at the hem of his velvet doublet instead. Marius and Armand had been delighted to dress him in purple finery and hose and Daniel enjoyed the process, but now that he’s stuck wearing the outfit all night, he feels awkward and uneasy, like he’s wearing a costume. 

Of course, everyone is dressed in various styles of historical finery. Pandora wears a bright orange dress layered over a cream-colored one, sandals on her feet, hair up like a Roman goddess. Marius is dressed in similar fashion, in a red and orange Roman tunic, his blond hair loose around his face, while Armand’s outfit is similar to Daniel’s, though rich blue in color, and his auburn hair is long and loose around his pale face. Daniel watches as his maker moves effortlessly across the room toward Louis, who looks like he’d stepped out of the French court in the 1700s. He pushes down a flare of envy at how Armand gravitates toward Louis so automatically these days. 

He continues scanning the crowd and spots Lestat not far away. Lestat is wearing leather: leather pants with studs on the pockets, a torn white shirt, and a leather jacket. It’s an interesting choice, given that most of the others look like historical reenactors, although an argument can be made that the 1980s are now a historical period. That’s a strange thought, and Daniel looks down at his own outfit, fashion from over five centuries before. How long until Lestat’s wannabe Billy Idol attire will look as antiquated? He laughs at the idea. 

Lestat raises an eyebrow and glances his way. He’s talking with Alain and Gregory, but he excuses himself and makes his way over to Daniel, who’s hovering against the wall.

“Something funny, Molloy?” Lestat asks, expression hard.

Daniel grins at him. “Just thinking how you look like you’re planning to host the MTV Video Music Awards.” 

Lestat frowns. “Do they still do those?” 

Daniel shrugs. 

“I’d make an excellent host. Perhaps I should call my agent.”

Daniel roles his eyes. 

Lestat smirks. “Although I see you’ve opted to dress like one of Marius’ kept boys. I’m sure he’s thrilled.” Lestat leans in and speaks right into Daniel’s ear. “No doubt he’s eager to get you alone.” 

Daniel elbows him in the side. “You’re the one in tight leather pants. Who are you hoping to lure in your bedroom this evening, huh?” Lestat turns his head almost automatically toward Louis and Armand, who are now dancing together in the middle of the dance floor. He stares at them for so long that Daniel adds, “If it’s Armand, you’re working too hard for it.” 

Lestat jolts, pulled from his thoughts. Daniel can’t read them since they both have their mental walls up but he can guess. He’s looking at Louis longingly, as if they’re estranged. Funny, because they were walking together in the village just last week. Wasn’t it last week? Time seems to compress itself here at Court, especially in the winters when the snow can be relentless. 

“Armand does look delectable in his little Venetian boy attire. I suppose you two make a nice matching set. Perhaps it’s your maker who has designs on getting you alone, hm?” Lestat smiles wickedly, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“I think he and Marius just like to put me in anything but jeans and t-shirts,” Daniel says honestly. Although both of them did give him long looks earlier this evening. 

The music switches from classical to a pop song Daniel recognizes. He thrusts his hand out toward Lestat. “May I have this dance?” 

Lestat takes his hand without hesitation and leads him to the dance floor, positioning them suspiciously close to Armand and Louis, who, with the change of music, are no longer clinging to each other. But they still dance together, a modern sort of dance common in nightclubs, which looks all the more fascinating in their getups. Daniel realizes he must look the same way. 

Lestat bops to the beat, moving right into Daniel’s personal space, practically grinding on him. It’s hot as hell and Daniel moves with him. 

Armand catches sight of Daniel and smiles at him until he sees who he’s dancing with. Then his expression turns stoney. Annoyed, maybe, or even jealous, though which one of them he’s jealous of is anyone’s guess. So many little jealousies here at Court, when everyone has so much love for each other. But then, Daniel is not immune. 

Hell, even seeing Armand dance with Louis now brings up those old feelings of resentment and loss, his frustration that Armand found such solace in someone else’s arms, while Daniel, mad and out of his mind, was hardly a blip on his radar. 

Lestat grabs Daniel’s face and turns his head so he’s looking at him, right into those intense blue-gray eyes. He smiles and then leans in, kissing him on the mouth before Daniel knows what’s happening. Not that he’s going to complain. His lips are soft and pliant as they move against Daniel’s, his tongue sliding into Daniel’s mouth eagerly. Daniel kisses him back, arms winding around him and soon they’re not dancing at all, but standing in the middle of the dance floor making out. Daniel pulls back when he realizes it, cheeks heating as they undoubtedly go a little red. 

Everyone is watching—of course they are! Lestat is the prince, everyone is always watching what he does!—but most of them have the decency to pretend not to be. Louis and Armand have stopped dancing, too, and Louis turns and walks away. 

Armand looks angry. 

Daniel isn’t sure why. It’s not like he and Lestat haven’t kissed (more than kissed) plenty of times before. Lestat turns and disappears into the crowd. Uneasiness worms through Daniel’s gut and he feels like he’s been played somehow, only he doesn’t know what the game is. 

“Sorry,” he mouths at Armand, who probably doesn’t see; he’s too busy staring daggers at Lestat’s retreating form. Yeah, Daniel definitely missed something. He slips off the dance floor, face flushed, and follows Lestat out of the ballroom and down the hall. He finds him standing out on a balcony. The air is freezing and a fresh coat of snow glitters on the ground down below. 

“What the hell was that?” Daniel demands. 

“I thought you always enjoyed our little dalliances.” Lestat keeps his back to him so Daniel walks up beside him and sees him clutching onto the railing. 

“What’s going on between you and Louis?” 

Lestat looks mildly surprised. “Doesn’t your maker tell you everything? You two are always sneaking off into dark corners and having intimate little meetings.” 

Daniel swallows uncomfortably. They’re off in corners, yeah, making out and actively not talking, because talking leads to dredging up all the shit they’ve yet to work out between them. Talking leads to fighting. They steal away into the nooks of the Chateau to kiss and touch in a setting that’s not conducive to talking. Daniel knows they need to move on from that but things are still new and strange, and the kissing is nice. 

“He didn’t mention anything,” Daniel says. 

Lestat stares at him, as if trying to judge if he’s lying. Then he turns around and hops onto the ledge of the railing, sitting on it effortlessly. “Louis is here to be my royal consort and yet as soon as your maker arrived, they’ve been inseparable.” 

Daniel sighs. That’s a bit of an exaggeration but Daniel understands what he means. Armand and Louis spent so much time together that they are entwined now in a way that Daniel and Armand used to be. He feels Lestat’s frustration. His jealousy. And he hates that he does. Armand and Louis were together long before Daniel was even born. It’s not their togetherness that incites such envy, but rather how they seem like a unit now, two parts of a set, and Daniel doesn’t know where he fits anymore. Obviously Lestat feels similarly. 

“Louis came here for you,” Daniel points out. 

“Did he?” Lestat scoffs. 

“Yes,” Daniel says. Daniel remembers how hurt Armand was by Louis’ decision to do so, and how, though he refused to say so, he hadn’t wanted Louis to leave Trinity Gate. 

Lestat is silent for a long moment. Then he reaches out and brushes a stray hair off Daniel’s velvet top. “He’s acting as if he doesn’t want to be here.” 

Daniel shakes his head. “He’s dressed in finery and at a ball at your behest. He’s making an effort.” Daniel looks down at his own clothes. “We all are. This is all so new. It’ll take some time to acclimate.” 

Lestat considers.

“Tell you what,” Daniel says, “I’ll go pull Armand into a corner for a bit and give you a chance to steal Louis away for a dance or two.” 

Lestat smiles. “Please. I can steal him from the little imp’s grasp anytime I desire.” 

“Then why are you out here sulking?” Daniel asks. 

Lestat punches Daniel in the shoulder. Daniel rubs his arm. Lestat jumps down from the balcony. “But you make a good point. I need to help Louis see what his role here at Court is meant to be.” 

Lestat grabs Daniel and kisses him on both cheeks, and then the lips again. Then he stalks off back toward the ballroom, leaving Daniel out on the balcony alone. He smokes a cigarette and then heads back inside.

When he reaches the ballroom, Louis and Lestat are dancing in the center of the room. Armand is off to the side, watching them with his intense amber eyes. Daniel touches his shoulder. He nods at the exit and then takes Armand’s hand in his and leads him out of the ballroom. Lestat spots them heading out and gives him Daniel a wicked smile. 

#daniel molloy #lestat de lioncourt #lestat/daniel #armand/louis #armand #louis de pointe du lac #loustat #louis/lestat #armand/daniel #vc fanfic #vc fic #court era #prince lestat #prince lestat era #tvc #the vampire chronicles #my fic #prompt meme #prompted fic

[unicornsacorn]

Cursed Kratts

Because nobody asked but also I'm super in this AU right now, here is an explanation on what I call the cursed island/cursed Kratts.

Lets start with the brothers

So Martin and Chris both start out completely normal mortals, one day Martin saves and unknown god from a being murdered and as thanks "blesses" Martin with the ability the shape-shift into any animal he wanted. Unfortunately he can't control it very well and soon the villager believe he is a curse sent by the gods. The brothers quickly flee to uninhabitable islands for protection, Chris asking the gods to rid his brother of this curse is instead "blessed" to share said curse making the ability easier to control. Slowly the god turned the island into a paradise and prison for those banished by the gods.

Koki and Aviva

These 2 were banished from Olympus for about the same reasons, being too good at there jobs

Aviva is a daughter of hephaestus, being super skilled with her mental works and inventions that could rival Hermes. That praise is what actually got her in trouble, Hermes grew jealous of her works and demanded she be banished, this leads her to the island where the boys are. She the one that actually found ways to better help boys control they're shape-shifting.

Koki is actually the chariot keeper to the gods, which means she was in charge of all the up keep with the chariots and even they're armor, and she was very good at her job. So good that she actually started to gain so enemy's, they started to spread rumors that koki favored certain gods more. This lead to Apollo being convinced that his chariot was being as taken care of as his sister Artemis, causing Koki to be banished to the island for her own safety. She is responsible for building most of the settlements the others use.

Jimmy

Jimmys kinda simpler than the others, he's the child of Hypnos, but because he wasn't really fitting in anywhere his father decided to send him to the island. At first the others are wary being sent someone from Olympus, it doesn't take them long to see he's completely harmless. Jimmy is the only one that can freely leave, just chooses not to he really likes the friends he's made on the island.

Now finally Zach

Zach is a very rich king with a passion for inventions. He believes he's so good at inventing that he believes he's a descent of Hermes. Zachs ego for being the best leads him to travel to the mysterious islands in search of never before seen treasure to make him famous.

#wild kratts fanart #fanart #chris kratt #wild kratts #martin kratt #wild kratts koki #wild kratts jimmy #WK cursed islands #aviva corcovado #zach varmitech

[thatoneneuvichiliauthor]

Remember the Ratio and his students ask I did a while ago? I did something again...

Thanks for sharing, this was a really enjoyable read! I'm still laughing over the cat cake incident tbh, I swear this is just the most adorable and hilarious mental image. Also I love the idea of Ratio's favorite students being brilliant but still getting into mischief. And them slowly warming up to Aven was really sweet as well!

#aventio #ratiorine #aventurine #dr ratio #asks #rambling

[teamconductors]

A Day Off: A PMD Lost Tracks of Time AU

Summary: During a weekend where the Battle Subway has shut down for maintenance, Ingo offers Mono a train trip, and Emmet wants to spend time with her at Nimbasa's amusement park.

Background: This is for the Swap AU (forgive the old art). After the events of LTOT, Sneasler is turned into a human and is sent back in time to Unova before Ingo got taken to Hisui.

In terms of timeline, this is after Sneasler aka Mono has established herself as a trainer, is roommates with Elesa, and got a job at the Battle Subway out of pity (or so she claims).

This is a long one. It could've been split, but I didn't want to.

Also, for clarity: Mono is Sneasler's name as a human. Everyone knows her as Mono, but the narration uses both Mono and Sneasler for her. Is that confusing? Maybe. But I'm too lazy to change it.

"Unbelievable," Sneasler said. She wished she figured out human technology by now. Perhaps if she had, she wouldn't have entered Gear Station at the typical early morning time and saw signs blocking the entrance to her workplace.

"Good morning, Miss Mono!"

"Morning, Ingo." Sneasler turned to see Ingo, who lacked his black Subway Boss coat and hat but still wore his button shirt and pants. "I know I'm here because I messed up, I guess. But why are you here?"

"I need to make sure that maintenance occurs as smoothly as possible!" Ingo said. "That said, I only need to do periodic checks. After I complete this first morning check, would you like to accompany me for a train ride around Unova?"

"Just you? Emmet's not coming?" Sneasler almost asked about Elesa but stopped herself upon remembering that she left Nimbasa for a fashion show.

"Since I accepted the responsibility to watch over the Battle Subway, Emmet decided to try alternate routes for his weekend. We work together and have many common interests, but we don't always need to be a two-car train."

Sneasler turned her head so Ingo wouldn't see her cringe. Before she was kidnapped out of her time, Emmet had gotten better about going on separate missions without Ingo. But the literal and metaphorical scars remained. Once in a while, Emmet would suffer a panic attack if Ingo - or Eelektross or even her - were away for too long. He hated that it was still an issue, and so did she. One day I'm gonna kick Arceus' ass for the pain they caused, she thought.

She shook off the mental damage to continue her questioning. "Are you gonna be okay being gone from the station for a while? How long's the trip?"

"Less than two hours! We will return to Gear Station by the end, and there are no stops in between. This is purely a scenic trip!"

"...Okay. Why me?"

"Does there need to be a reason?" Ingo's eyes widened. "Wait, do you have another activity scheduled?"

Sneasler shrugged. Had she known, she could have at least slept in - though that's easier said than done, considering her recent insomnia. "Not really. Sure, I'll do a train ride."

"Excellent! Allow me to finish what I need to, and we will be off!" Ingo sped-walked past Mono before she could ask where she should wait.

---

Sneasler didn't wait long for Ingo. He led her to the wing of Gear Station she seldom visited beyond the her first day in Unova and ended up on a train. Unlike the Battle Subway's trains, they offered plenty of benches and tables for guests to rest at. She and Ingo took a car with no one else in it. Ingo chose a table, and Mono sat across from him, putting her basket next to her on the bench.

"Did you make that basket? It appears well-made and well-cared for," Ingo asked.

"Uh, thanks. It's... an heirloom," Mono said. This is going be a painful ride, isn't it?

The journey began. They started underground, but soon they popped out of a tunnel near Driftviel City. It was Sneasler's first time outside of Nimbasa. The mining city vaguely reminded her of the dungeons near Cobalt Coastlands.

Ingo interrupted Sneasler's musing. "Is something the matter, Miss Mono?"

Sneasler realized she had been staring at him. "Uh, no! I, uh, haven't been sleeping well. That's all."

"Oh, I'm sorry that you've been having such roadblocks. Is there anything I can can for you? Does your schedule need to be changed?"

"Nope, my work schedule is fine." Much to her chagrin, Ingo and Emmet trained Sneasler well to wake up at dawn. Even before then, she preferred mornings and daylight to night. "Don't worry about it, alright?"

"My job is to transport talented trainers to greater heights, and that includes the trainers helping us as well. On that topic, how are your pokemon doing? If I remember, your current team is a Croagunk, a Riolu, and a Whirlipede."

"Wow, you actually remembered that?" Does he usually remember different trainers' teams like that??

"Well, you only recently became a trainer, am I correct? Our guests who have battled against you certainly couldn't tell! You've been performing fantastically so far!"

Croagunk, Whirlipede, and Riolu fight well on their own. I'm just there pretending to guide them. "Got lucky, I guess."

"I don't think it's luck, Miss Mono."

I found Croagunk after he got abandoned by his trainer. Riolu was a stray on the outskirts of Nimbasa and needed a home. And meeting Whirlipede was an accident.

"Please do not discount yourself."

I'm not a trainer. I'm not supposed to be here.

"I think your journey has only just begun."

One of the doors opened. An Audino with a cart walked to Ingo and Mono's table. On top of the cart sat a kettle and bowls with colored packets, tiny cartons of liquid, and small sticks. On the secondary shelf were stacks of cups. "I have coffee!"

"Miss Mono, the coffee is complimentary. There's also a dining kart if you'd like to fuel yourself." Ingo took the cup Audino offer him. "Thank you very much," he said to the pokemon.

"Uh, thanks." Sneasler accepted her own cup. She stared at the dark liquid inside as Audino placed cups with packets and tiny cartons and a couple sticks on the table. She brought the cup to her nose and sniffed.

"Do you like coffee, Miss Mono?" Ingo asked as he prepared his own cup.

"Coffee, huh?" She sniffed again. It didn't smell bad. "I've seen Elesa drink this stuff, but I haven't yet."

"Really? I'm surprised."

"She's offered, but I just didn't feel like it. But, uh... here I go, I guess." Sneasler brought the cup to her lips and took in a mouthful of the liquid.

She slammed the cup to the table and covered her mouth with her hand lest she spit everything over poor Ingo.

"Are you alright?!" Ingo yelled loud enough that Audino, who left for another car, opened the door and ran to Ingo and Mono.

Sneasler waved at both Ingo and Audino with her free hand as she swallowed. "I'm fine! I'm fine!" She looked at Audino, who had placed her feelers on her chest. "No really, I'm alright."

"Okay... But I hope what's making you sad goes away..." Audino retracted her feelers and returned to the other car.

I heard that. "Sorry, Ingo. It was just really, really bitter, and I didn't expect it. Smelled and tasted really different."

"Hm, you do run into surprises in a journey sometimes. May I try something?" Ingo pointed to Mono's cup.

"If you want it, take it." Sneasler grabbed napkins and began wiping up the coffee that splashed out when she slammed the cup down.

Ingo grabbed a packet and a tiny carton and poured their contents into the cup. "I find black coffee too bitter to fully enjoy as well. That surprises people, but I'm not sure why." He stirred the mixture together with a stirring stick and then offered it to Mono. "I added cream and sugar to your drink, which is how I like it. I hope this is more palatable for you."

Sneasler glanced between Ingo and the cup. She grabbed the cup with a delicate hold and slowly took a sip. She braced for the bitterness, but the sweetness calmed down the bitterness like a Light Screen reducing a Psychic's damage. "That's not... terrible. I don't think I'll be drinking much coffee, though."

"That's alright! You need to know what works best for you, just like how you need to know how to keep a machine well-oiled!"

Sneasler chuckled. "Everything comes back to trains for you, huh?"

"Well, trains are fascinating! The way they're made, how they work, how precisely you can make schedules and get everyone to where they want at the right time! Why else would Emmet and I format a battle facility in a series of them? On that line of thought, why did you decide to work specifically at Gear Station? You said you weren't a pokemon trainer, so was there another reason?"

He's conveniently leaving out the part of our first meeting where I said I knew them, but okay. "I... Listen, I'm not that good with technology. I can get the gist of things, but it'll take me a bit to get used to them. But... I... I have two younger brothers that love trains." Sneasler's eyes widened as soon as she registered what she just said, but she could not take that back. "And... it's really nice to hear them excited. They've shown me books about them because they think it's fun to talk about them to someone who doesn't know squat. ...For a lot of reasons, I haven't been able to see them, and the Battle Subway... reminds me of them." She blinked more frequently as something welled behind her eyes.

Ingo's signature frown softened. "I see... Well, I'm glad to have you ride with us, and I hope you see your brothers soon."

"Me, too."

Ingo and Sneasler decided in silence to watch the view as their train passed by different areas. They breezed through forests, went through mountain tunnels and over bridges, and witnessed the sky turn from orange to blue. Ingo made comments about cities and landmarks but was clearly less energetic than before.

By the time they passed through Undella Town, Sneasler groaned, making Ingo jump. "Holy rift, I made this trip so awkward. I am so sorry."

"Please do not apologize! This has not been awkward for me, but does that mean it was awkward for you?" Ingo asked, frowning deeply.

"C'mon, stop deflecting. I can't believe you've always been like this."

"What do you mean?"

"It's been a bad trip, and you know it. I can see it in your face." Sneasler pointed at Ingo and traces circles in the air.

"Really? I've been told that I'm rather stiff..."

"Compared to Emmet, yeah, but... I can still see it." Sneasler sighed. "Maybe it would've been better if you just did this on your own."

ingo hummed. "If you hadn't been at Gear Station, I most likely would have gone on this train by myself. While that would have made for a fine trip, journeys are made better when shared with others." He looked into Mono's eyes. "Miss Mono, I know that Elesa has been a great help for you, but please also know that Emmet and I are here to help you move forward to your destination!"

Sneasler rested her head on her hands. "And dramatic as ever, too. I'll never understand how you always say stuff like that so sincerely."

"My job is to transport passengers along their journeys to greater heights. Why wouldn't I be happy about what I do?"

"The more you talk, the more you keep using Dig." Sneasler laughed as Ingo got more confused. "It's not a bad thing, Ingo. Don't change that part of you, okay?"

Ingo's eyes widened. "I... Thank you, Miss Mono. I shall do my best."

The rest of the trip was quiet, but with the air cleared, they watched the scenery change in comfort. Though fascinated with the shifting landscapes and cities, Sneasler took glances at Ingo. His human face was slightly harder for her to read than his Sneasel face, but he definitely relaxed into his seat.

Ingo said something about liking train rumbling, right? I guess that's why. ...Have I ever seen him like this? My ancestor definitely didn't. He doesn't really relax on vacations either. Maybe the warden and rescuer stuff takes more out of him than he wants to say? I know he enjoys it, but that responsibility...

I really am going to kick Arceus' ass one of these days.

***

When they returned to Gear Station, Ingo left to check on the status of maintenance, and Sneasler returned to her temporary home and take a nap. She didn't know why her body hurt more than normal. She decided to blame it on her weird human body.

Elesa described her apartment as small, but to Sneasler, it was massive compared to Ingo and Emmet's old tent at the Pearl Guild. She also gave Mono her own guest room, but the train ride tired her out so much that she crashed onto the rectangular but plush couch in the living room. She fell asleep almost as soon as she closed her eyes.

The ringing of a bell woke Sneasler from her dreamless nap. She jumped to a sitting position, accidentally making Riolu and Croagunk fall off her and onto the floor.

"What the?" Sneasler cursed as she looked between the two dazed tiny pokemon and Whirlipede wrapped around her basket. "When did you guys get here?"

"Came outta our balls like an hour ago," Croagunk said.

"You looked comfy..." Riolu said.

The doorbell rang again.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" Sneasler combed her fingers through her hair to fix it. The ends curled back up to their usual position. She opened the door.

"I am Emmet. Hi there, Mono." Like Ingo, he did not wear his signature coat and hat, but his outfit was even more unfamiliar to Sneasler. His pants looked almost like normal ones, but the shirt had some sort of colorful floral pattern she didn't expect, let alone from him.

"Hi. Uh, if you're looking for Elesa, she's outta town right now," Sneasler said.

"I know. You have the day off, and so do I. Do you want to go somewhere with me?"

"First your brother, now you?! Is this some sort of new employee ritual thing, or...?"

"Not at all. I am just curious about you." Emmet smiled even more.

Sneasler sighed. "Alright, fine, I guess. Might as well. Why not?" She turned to her pokemon behind her. "You guys gonna be okay here?"

"You're not taking them with you?" Emmet stared intensely at Mono.

"Am... I supposed to?" Sneasler paused, then she added, "Are you gonna challenge me to a battle?!"

"Not today. For you safety, it is a good idea for pokemon trainers to have at least one pokemon with them at all times."

Why am I getting deja vu? "Alright. Everyone cool with coming with?" After a set of affirmative answers, she walked back to the couch where her basket rested next to. She kept her pokeballs inside, along with her hat and coat, the Toxic Plate, and other important items. "...Wait. Do you have a pokemon on you?"

"Of course!" Emmet said.

On cue, a Jotik popped his head out of the pocket on Emmet's shirt. "Hello!"

Sneasler stared at Emmet and Jotik in stunned silence. "Why am I surprised anymore?"

---

Emmet led Mono to Nimbasa City's amusement park while marching and swinging his arms straight, which was more impressive to witness compared to when he did it as a Sneasel.

"We have arrived at Ronde-View Ferris Wheel. Ronde-View Ferris Wheel," Emmet said while pointing at Mono.

"Elesa mentioned something about a "Ferris wheel". You just go around in a circle?" Sneasler asked.

"Correct. It is not a thrill ride, but they give us a good view of Nimbasa City. Are you afraid of heights?"

"No! I'm a rock climber, and you can't be a climber if you're afraid of heights!" Unless there's a bottomless Distortion World void beneath me, but that's just common sense.

"Rock climbing? Verrrry interesting." Emmet narrowed his eyes at Mono.

Sneasler narrowed her eyes back at him. "Yeah. Haven't done it in a while, though."

"Would you like to try today? A rock climbing wall was set up here recently."

"Wait, really? A wall that you just... climb? As a human?"

"'As a human'?" Emmet repeated.

"...Well, I'm just used to regular rocks and cliffs. That's all."

The ride operator stopped the wheel and let people exit a gondola. She approached the gate that Emmet and Mono stood at. "Hello! How many people do we have?"

"Two," Emmet said. "All aboard!"

The pokeball-shaped gondolas were large enough to fit at least four humans and maybe a few small pokemon. The pokeball designs were upside down, making the white half see-through for people to look out of. Mono stepped onto the gondola and got surprised when the floor gave under her weight.

"What the hell?!" Sneasler jumped backward, hitting Emmet with her basket. He quickly caught himself instead of falling.

"Oh, don't worry, Miss! Some of these cars can swing," the ride operator said. "If you'd like, you can wait behind the gate and the next car will stay still."

"That car would be preferable for both of us, I think. Please stand by, Mono," Emmet said, pointing to the line gate.

Sneasler reluctantly stood back and took the next gondola. To her relief, it remained still when she stepped onto it. She and Emmet took opposite seats. Once settled, the operator closed the door and started the ride.

"That was embarrassing," Sneasler said. "I just wanna say, I think the moving one would be fine. I just didn't expect it."

"You are fine, Mono. As I said, I like the cars that don't move. The wheel moves us, anyway." Emmet looked to their left. "I enjoy riding trains and running the Battle Subway. But I also like rides like this because I get a change in perspective."

"Change in perspective, huh?" Sneasler watched them slowly rise above the different buildings in the city. Previously, she could only get a view like this from climbing mountains or riding on Eelektross' back (though he couldn't for long). Not to mention that she mostly saw man-made buildings as ruins, as landmarks of times long past. Here, they were new and pristine.

"Now that our trip has begun, I need to ask you something," Emmet said. "Who are you?"

Sneasler blinked at him. "Is your memory alright? My name's Mono."

"You introduced yourself as Sneasler first."

Sneasler frowned. She mentally kicked herself for confusing Ingo and Emmet so much when they first saw each other. How was she supposed to know she ended up in Unova before Ingo went missing? "It's just a nickname. I mistook you two for someone else."

"Your nickname is the name of an extinct pokemon?"

"Extinct?!" No, wait, calm down! The Nobles weren't active when humans were around. Not extinct. Just in hiding. "I mean... yeah, weird name, it's a long story. And what does it matter?"

Emmet readjusted himself and leaned forward. "I'm just curious. You had a verrrry strong entrance. What is your goal? I want to see your track is going."

Sneasler groaned and put her head into her hands. "Why are you two like this? Ingo got done talking to me about basically the same thing!"

"Huh. I didn't know that. We took different lines but accidentally converged." Emmet smiled. "But I think he gets something different out of questions than I do. We see things differently, and that makes us strong together. I want to learn more! Where do you want your journey to go, Mono?"

"I..." Sneasler leaned back and lazily stared out the window to think. Talking with Ingo started this train of thought, and talking with Emmet needed to finish it.

I want to fucking go home. But I have no idea how to do that, so maybe if I get money, I can go to the Sinnoh region, find the Nobles of this era, and get them to help me. ...If I can find them. If they can get me in contact with Dialga or someone. Could they turn me back into a Sneasler? Ingo and Emmet kinda turned back, but they kinda didn't either. And there's no way I could become like what they are now!

"Mono?" Emmet asked. "Do you not have an answer? If so, that's fine. That's a valid feeling."

"No, I... I do, it's just..." There's no dungeons here. There's no Nobles or rescue teams or anything I know. I don't know what I'm doing here. I don't know anything about being a trainer or being around humans. And just to top it all off, my body isn't mine anymore! Losing my memories would be a blessing at this point! Because at least I don't have to look at Emmet or Ingo and have them look back at me as a stranger!

The Ferris wheel stopped moving. Their gondola returned to ground level.

"Why are you crying?" Emmet reached into a different shirt pocket and offered Mono a tissue. "You really don't have to answer if you can't."

"Why do you care?! You don't even know me!" Sneasler stood up and grabbed her basket. She slammed open the cart and hopped over the exit gate. She looked down at the ground as she walked so that no one saw her tears.

She found a patch of grass and trees at the edge of the park. A shrill winding sound came from her basket, making her jump. Sneasler then nearly fall over as her basket got a heavy weight added inside that wasn't there before. After placing the basket down, she leaned on the tree and slid down to a sitting position. She covered her eyes with one hand.

"Sneasler?" Her Croagunk asked, having come out of his pokeball to face his trainer. "You wanna talk?"

"I am never gonna get used to that pokeball sound." She unlocked the latch on her basket and slapped the top off. "Why are you here?"

Croagunk popped his head out. "You're crying and stormed off from your friend and you're surprised I wanna ask why?"

Sneasler sighed. "Stop pretending you care. I only caught you so I could pretend I'm a trainer."

"You do realize that you totally are a pokemon trainer by now, between me and Riolu and Whirlipede?"

"I'm not a pokemon trainer!"

"Then what are you?"

"I... I don't know anymore, damn it! Like, I was just a Sneasel with a Noble mom. Then my mom died, I had to evolve to a Sneasler take over her title, which sounds great, but it's not! Because everyone wants you to be the ultimate rescuer with super strength and memories from past Nobles and other weird powers! And then a whole bunch of shit happened and everyone became convinced Ingo and Emmet are my younger brothers which is fine! I guess! Because pokemon and even the other Nobles started to respect me more!

"And then! AND THEN!" Sneasler took a deep breath. "Without an ounce of warning, I wake up! In a different time period! In a totally different world! I've never been around humans, I only have memories of them, and even THOSE are vague at best, and now I have to ACT like one?! I had claws for climbing, and now I have weak, soft fingers and nails that break under the slightest load! My back hurts if I carry my basket for too long which NEVER used to happen! I have to pretend to not know what every pokemon I hear is saying!" Sneasler pinched her cheeks. "And to top it all off, whoever did this to me decided to give me a face that looks like Ingo and Emmet's! But they don't know me! And they're the only people in this world I should know but I don't!"

Croagunk tilted his head to look at someone behind Mono and wave. "Hi there, Emmet."

Sneasler scrambled to standing position. Though absolutely terrified, she needed to see if Croagunk told the truth. Unfortunately for her, there Emmet stood, his face frozen and his smile open, wanting to say something but no sound coming out.

Sneasler recalled Uxie's description of when Arceus took Ingo: the world opened up below Ingo and Emmet. They were sucked down until the portal touched one of them and threw out the other. Since Arceus thought Ingo and Emmet were two of the same person, maybe they would think the same thing of her. If Arceus opened a portal right below her feet, she would fall in first and then touch the portal first and leave Emmet and Ingo alone. They're left behind while thinking they lost a weird employee. Nothing of value was lost. But that would mean she becomes a target of Chained Giratina. She could weather a blow if she was still a Sneasler, but as a weak, squishy human? She could die and be unable to return home. And Dialga would likely become upset at the time paradox this scenario would definitely make.

She would rather face an enraged Dialga than explain to Emmet what he just heard.

"...How much of that did you get?" Mono asked, voice just above a whisper.

"Not all of it, I think," Emmet said. "...Do you want another few days off? There's some new tech in Paldea. There's something about being able to feel what it's like to become a pokemon."

Sneasler's face started to turn red. "If I'm flying somewhere, I'd rather go someplace else." Namely, the Sinnoh region. "And right now? I'd rather go home. Just forget everything, okay? Forget everything I ever said, and I'm not bothering you or Ingo ever again, okay?!"

Emmet placed a hand on Mono's shoulder. "You are not the first human who wants to be a pokemon. I've thought about it when I was younger."

Sneasler facepalmed. Somehow, that's worse than if he found out the truth. But at least that means he's not paying attention to me "knowing" him. "Emmet. I'm asking a lot as someone you don't know well." She grabbed his shoulders. "But please don't tell people about this. It's... embarrassing."

"Sure." He presented the tissue that he tried to offer her before. "Once you are ready, do you want to try that rock climbing wall? Would that help you feel better?" Emmet pointed in the direction of the attraction.

Sneasler sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She took his tissue and cleaned up the leftover tears. "It might, it might not, but you'll know either way, I guess??" She grabbed her basket, surprised it wasn't as heavy as before. Croagunk returned to the ball, I guess. "Let's go. All aboard, conductor."

A short walk later, Sneasler saw what Emmet talked about. Calling it a wall for climbing would be generous at best. It was maybe 15 meters high, adorned with candy-colored rocks, and surrounded by soft-looking mats.

"You sure it's for adults? Adult humans?" Sneasler asked. She imagined her mom using a wall like that to teach her how to climb.

"Of course it is." Before waiting for a reply, he walked to the line.

Oh. He just wants to try climbing. That's why he's still hanging out with me. May as well join him and make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Sneasler sighed and followed behind Emmet.

Different humans - some kids, some adults - stepped up for the opportunity to climb. They wrapped straps around their waists, which connected to a pulley and then to the operator's pokemon, a Sawk and a Throh. Some people didn't reach the top, but those that did rang a bell hanging there next to some Pidoves. The human running the area had a remote connected to a couple timers. Even small pokemon were allowed to give it a shot, though she noted that none of them were natural climbers.

"We're next. All aboard!" Emmet said as the gate opened to let them in.

"Do you know how to climb, Emmet?" Sneasler asked. The mats squished under her feet, confirming her suspicion of being soft.

"No, but trying could be fun!" Emmet smiled even more.

"Whoa, you already have a harness?" The operator asked, looking at Mono.

"Unbelievably, yes," Sneasler said. When she woke up in this world, she wore the coat and hat the twins gifted her and her basket that still contained the Poison Plate. All the other clothes she arrived in were already on her person: the shirt with a fluffy collar, pants, boots, and fake gemstone decorations. She didn't even know what the harness was until Elesa explained it.

The operator hooked her and Emmet to the safety system and then gave them tips for climbing that Sneasler did not listen to. She stared at her hands. This isn't gonna end well. There's too many humans around looking at us. Is it because of Emmet? I haven't tried climbing with this body yet, but I hate not having my claws. Is this how they felt in their Sneasel bodies?

"Uh, miss? Don't you want to take off your backpack?" the operator asked.

"Nope." Sneasler readjusted her basket for stability. "You ready, Emmet?"

Emmet nodded. "Follow the rules. Safe driving! Follow the schedule. Everybody smile!"

As soon as Emmet began reciting his mantra, Sneasler joined in without even thinking about it. When she realized what she was doing, she turned her head to Emmet, who stared back with wide eyes as he kept going. Sorry Emmet, you've said it so much that it burrowed into me.

"Check safety. Everything's ready! Aim for victory! All aboard!" Emmet and Mono finished together. The operator wisely decided to start the timer right then.

Sneasler jumped and grabbed two rocks. She tapped her nails against the colored rocks protruding from the gray wall, hearing and feeling an unnatural hardness and hollowness. Her fingers couldn't dig into the material. She placed her feet on two rocks, and even though she couldn't feel them through the boots, it was sturdy enough to support her weight.

One foot up. Her leg extended, and she grabbed higher rocks. Another step gave her more height. And another. The colored rocks looked like child's play, but they provided a clear, stable path despite their strange and varied shapes. Her body was weaker, but it possessed enough strength to keep her grip and climb at a steady pace. Even as the steepness increased, she was too focused to let it slip her up.

Before she knew, the bell hanged right above her head. With her feet and hands firmly planted, she grabbed the rope and rang the bell for all to hear.

"YES! I can still climb!" In Sneasler's elation, she lost her grip on the wall. She half-expected a certain ghost's Psychic to catch her, but instead, a tug on her harness indicated that the operator's pokemon held her rope, letting her hang in the air. Below her came claps and cheers, but she looked down to find one person in particular.

"You won! That was fun! You did great, Mono!" Emmet near-shouted. He managed to climb halfway up the wall, which Sneasler did not expect, given his thin frame. He let go of the wall without an ounce of fear.

When they were lowered and touched ground, the operator ran at Sneasler. "You climbed that wall in 15 seconds! That's a new record! What's your name, miss?"

"Uh... Mono." I could've done it in half that time if I was still a Sneasler.

"Thank you for climbing with us! Here's your prize!" The operator reached into a pack connected to his belt and pulled out four tickets.

Sneasler snatched the pieces of paper. "Free... Casteliacone... voucher?" She looked at Emmet. "The hell's a Casteliacone?"

"It's a soft serve ice cream. You can get them in Castelia City, which is south from Nimbasa City," Emmet said.

"Oh. Nice." She turned to the operator. "Uh, thanks, I guess."

After Mono and Emmet left the rock climbing area, they found a bench next to a dedicated space to let their pokemon roam. Besides the Joltik from his pocket, Emmet also let Archeops, Durant, and Crustle. Croagunk and Riolu hanged out in their own area, but Whirlipede ran with Archeops for a race - which Sneasler overheard.

"Do you feel better now, Mono?" Emmet asked.

"Kinda." Her fingertips turned red and tough from the exertion. She turned her palm around to stare at the design of her fingerless gloves. "...Sorry for getting mad at you."

"You're not the first. But that climb was amazing. I was hoping for a competition, but I completely lost. It was so fun!" Emmet said. "Yep. You're definitely someone I want to watch for more than one reason. These are the only three pokemon you have?"

"Yep. I have my hands pretty full right now. Why?" she asked, but she already knew what his answer would be.

"When you find a fourth, you should try working for me on the Doubles Line."

"...When? Not if?" Sneasler turned to Emmet and raised an eyebrow.

"Correct. And when you get stronger, you should face me in a battle - after you face 20 trainers first, that is." Emmet smiled even wider.

Sneasler sighed. "You really were always like this, too, huh?"

"Yes? One day, you should also tell us why you act so casually with me and my brother!"

"I said you needed to forget that!" Sneasler once again promised herself to kick the butt of Arceus and whoever is responsible for her predicament.

#pmd ltot swap au #pmd au #do I tag submas? #it's been a bit since i've written for these guys and i think it shows #doesn't help that i have to write ingo and emmet slightly different than i have before #and that we get more directly into sneasler's/mono's head #will we get more? WHO KNOWS! CUZ I DON'T! #swap au #forgot the most important tag lmao

[charles-simmons-fanfiction]

Late summer nights - Todd Anderson / Neil Perry

Description: Neil is a summer person, and Todd is a Neil person. That's the story. 💛 [fluff, 800 words]

By the way, this is based off of this post! It's a headcanon by the super cool and awesome @perksofbeingpoet <3 This was so fun to write, I might write more summer fics with dps <- me projecting how energetic I get during summer on them

Todd could swear he would pass out from the heat any second now. Neil, on the other hand, hadn't been this energetic it's been weeks.

"Physics homework, done!" Neil exclaimed victoriously, closing his notebook and throwing it on his desk.

"Already? How?" Todd had just finished the first half of his work, and he hadn't even started the one for chemistry. Soon summer break would start and the teachers weren't taking it easy on them, not that they ever did.

"It looks like it'll rain tomorrow, explains why today's so hot," Neil ignored his question. The window was wide open and he had half his body out of it, only a small push away from falling. "We should go outside! While we still can, y'know."

"What? No, I still have way too much work to do," the physics assignment in front of him was pushed aside before he could protest.

"I'll give you the answers and explain them to you tomorrow. C'mon!" Neil grabbed him by the arm. Todd wanted to insist, but he wanted to go with him a lot better.

They had to be silent while they sneaked out, so, naturally, they couldn't stop laughing. It was quite a struggle and they had to be constantly shushing the other.

Once they got outside, the hot wind blew on their faces. Todd considered going back in again.

Neil smiled and, without any warning, took off running to the woods, laughing way too loudly as Todd tried to catch up with him. They didn't stop running for a while, to not risk getting caught.

"Oh my god, shut up!" Todd covered Neil's mouth with his hands, pushing him against a tree to keep him quiet. "Are you crazy?? There's no way no one heard us!" Despite his heart beating quickly from the adrenaline, he could only laugh with him.

"Carpe Diem, my dear," Neil's voice came out muffled and he gently took Todd's hand off his mouth. "We'll be fine."

For a few seconds, neither of them said anything, looking into each other's eyes, close enough to feel their hot breath on their already warm cheeks. A light breeze wiggled the trees and everything felt silent, except for the crickets probably not too far away.

Neil's deep brown eyes seemed to shrink when he smiled, almost sparkling as he looked at him so contently. His pink lips were slightly parted and a strand of hair had fallen on his face. He had an image of graceful disarray, and the night suddenly didn't feel as half as warm as his presence did.

"Your hair is getting long," was all that Todd managed to say.

Neil was caught slightly off guard and chuckled. "Yeah, I have to get a haircut soon."

"Please don't," Todd asked, maybe a little too fast. "It looks great like this."

"Thanks," they broke eye contact awkwardly, not knowing how to continue a conversation, and also not really wanting to.

It was way too hot. Todd couldn't understand how anyone could even like summer. He had always hated the way his hand felt sweaty, and how hard it was to fall asleep even with the window open. Also, any class outside was insufferable if there was sun.

At the same time, Neil seemed to be doing so well. And let the truth be said, it only took a little attention to see how depressed he could get some days. But not recently. No, Neil seemed to be genuinely doing fine.

Todd smiled at the thought, and for the first time, he hoped summer would last as long as possible. "Next weekend, if we finish our homework, we should go get ice cream. To make the heat more bearable," he shyly suggested, mentally repeating "carpe diem" to himself.

"I was thinking about that! I'm sure the other's would be super down for i-"

"Wait, no," Todd stopped him. "I meant like, you and me."

"Oh," Neil was taken aback, but nodded slowly, a smile creeping on his face. His tone was soft when he spoke. "Yes, I think we should."

The two went silent again, and Todd did his best not to smile like an idiot. The next hour wasn't anything but mundane chatting and walking around, but they wouldn't rather be anywhere else.

At some point, Neil tried to take his hand as they walked, but Todd pulled it back. "It's way too hot for this," he complained, yet eventually gave in and took Neil's hand back. Neither of them mentioned it.

"I love summer," Neil stated matter-of-factly. "It's easily the best season. To me, at least. What's your favorite?"

"You"

"What?"

"Autumn"

Again, neither of them mentioned it. Although Todd briefly considered hitting his head against a tree and just staying there forever.

That night, Neil fell asleep as soon as he got back to his dorm, without even changing. Todd didn't, it was too hot. He sighed, and looked at his roommate, who was smiling in his sleep.

"He's crazy," Todd thought, still not getting why anyone would like summer, but suddenly not feeling so bad about it. He fell asleep with a soft smile too. At least they'd get ice cream.

💛.

#I wrote this in pretty much one sitting (3 hours straight writing about dps and listening to the same four songs. I had so much fun) #I already want to write more TwT but it's 2 am #can you tell i miss summer? (it's winter here) 💔 #dead poets society #anderperry #todd anderson #neil perry #dead poets fanfic #dead poets fandom #anderperry fanfic #this is pretty simple but i hope you liked it ^w^

[spencer-charnas-ix]

The Day in the Life of SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner - A Criminal Minds Fanfic

A/N: Credits for this idea go to @criminal-minds-quotes and credits to @cassioxpeiaxmgg for telling me to write this madness because this was so much fun to write, and I just wanted to make Hotch really sassy, sarcastic and petty because it's funny lol 🤣 SSA Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner's day in the BAU was typical, except when he had to deal with his chaotic work children. Hotch walked into the bullpen, Coffee in hand. His eyes were baggy, but he still looked bright and professional in his crisp suit. 'This is going to be a long day...thank God for coffee,' he thought as he walked past his chaotic work children who were causing chaos as usual, whilst he was wishing he could have a break. Just one damn break! Was it so hard to ask for? In Hotch's case. Yes. Yes, it was. It would have to be a miracle for him to actually have a long break. Hotch walked into his office, sat in his chair, sipped his coffee and sighed deeply, waiting for the caffeine to kick into his system. Just then, he heard a knock on the door. "Come in..." Aaron said, sipping his coffee, waiting for the chaos to ensue. SSA David Rossi, Hotch's best friend and co-worker, walked in and said, "Hey Aaron, we've got that meeting with the BAU directors in a few minutes." Hotch facepalmed, "Oh, for god's sake, I hate those meetings; they're so boring, even for me! A person who likes meetings." "Look, let's just get this over with; I even bought some liquid luck." Rossi pulled a flask of whiskey from his jacket pocket, opened it, and sipped it, handing it to Hotch, who also sipped from it. "Well, here goes nothing", Hotch said, taking a deep breath, handing the flask back to Rossi as they walked off to the meeting. Hotch was sitting in his chair, bored out of his mind during the meeting. He looked off into the distance, wanting to be in his office working. "Agent Hotchner, do you have anything to add about the safety of the BAU?" Erin Strauss asked as Hotch just rolled his eyes

"Yeah, tell them to cry a damn river, and yes, I put them in bad situations, but who cares? I have to deal with my team, or as I call them, my chaotic, mentally ill work children, with Rossi's help since he's my work husband."

Apart from Rossi, who was on the verge of trying not to laugh, everyone was stunned. "But what about your team?"

"Oh please, they're way too mentally ill not to get into trouble; just last week, I had to stop Emily from setting something on fire again." "I-how did that happen?" "Derek gave her a lighter and told her to 'do crime', and then, well, she tried setting fire to the bullpen; it was chaos." "Right, I see, but it's bad; you do it all the time and it's rude-" "Oh, your feelings are hurt; oh no, do I need to call a wahhhbulance?" Hotch mocked sarcastically "Hotch, what the hell has gotten into you?" Another person in the meeting asked, raising an eyebrow in shock

Rossi kept trying not to laugh, but it was getting harder each time for him to hold in his laughter. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe I just think this meeting is so boring that I'd rather listen to Reid blabber on about something for hours," Hotch replied sarcastically. Meanwhile, Rossi couldn't take it anymore and fell on the floor laughing his head off; everyone turned to look at him in shock, except for Hotch, who was just trying not to laugh himself. "Hotch, you're being way out of line-" Erin said, annoyed as Hotch interrupted her scoffing. "Oh, I'm sorry, Karen. What are you going to do? Speak to the manager or, better yet, throw a tantrum?" Aaron said condescendingly as he rolled his eyes, checking his nails Rossi ended up laughing his head off as he rasped, "THAT'S MY WORK, WIFE!! YOU GO HOTCH" he cackled as tears of laughter ran down his face After the meeting was over, Hotch was in his office with Rossi, drinking some whiskey and laughing "I cannot believe you said all that," Rossi said, sipping his whiskey Hotch laughed. "I regret nothing from it" Rossi chuckled. "I still can't believe you called Erin a Karen" "David, you know as well as I do that she's a Karen sometimes." "More like all the time." Both Hotch and Rossi burst out laughing and continued sipping whiskey and continuing their day as the tired, work parents of the BAU

#criminal minds #fanfic #aaron hotchner #david rossi #erin strauss #bau #cm

[leonenjoyer69]

Both your OCs occupy space in my mind lol I love both Harry and Elias. Would you mind giving some more rambles please and thank you? About either one. I just love learning more about them.

VJEKBKDKF TYSM, I'M GLAD YOU LIKE THEM :D it makes me very happy to know that people enjoy my ramblings and art of my lil fellas :3 (also, all you sweet anons are gonna be the death of me with your mysterious identities!)

(SUB NOTE: if anyone ever has any ideas at all or art requests or something for either of my sillies PLEASE don't hesitate to bring them up I would literally love hearing any suggestion or answering any question ever)

Anyways!!! I've actually been waiting to drop a bunch of stuff on these fellas that I've been talking about with some folks on Discord (which y'all can also ask for if you wanna talk to me on there I LOVE TALKING TO YOU GUYS), so thank you for granting me the perfect opportunity >:3 so, without further ado, I shall begin:

First of all, i just wanted to drop my height HCs bc,,,, why not lmao

I can't exactly visualize heights very well in my mind so these may be a wee bit too tall, idk, but yeah! I think giving Hyde an extra half inch would be funny bc you KNOW that mf would just round up lmao. Elias is a bit taller than Hyde, which Hyde kinda hates sometimes, itty bitty fella.

Anyways!! Harry is first up for rambling bc I have less for him rn lmao. I don't remember if ive mentioned it much before on here, but I know I included it in the fic i did for him, and that's his Scottish accent :3 we as a fandom don't write Jekyll's accent enough so I like projecting it onto injured Hyde and now Harry 😌 MORE SCOTTISH JEKYLL PLEASE-

Harry didn't really have to worry about keeping face in the mindscape (except for when around Mind Lanyon, who would pester tf out of him over it) so he fell back to at LEAST having an accent. He partially fell back on it because 1, it made him feel a wee more comfortable, and 2, because of how often he revisited memories from university (specifically during his and Lanyon relationship ofc), so he's used to hearing himself speaking with at least a drawl.

But yeah, that accent kinda sticks with him when he gains control and he has quite a hard time shaking it, which makes for some fun interactions, like when Lanyon's trying to break down his office door :3333

I believe I've mentioned this, but Harry is very very sensitive to most physical sensations (touch, pain, etc.) and has some light and sound sensitivities for a decent bit after gaining control. Because of how long he spent in the mindscape with numbed senses, It really messed with him to suddenly have control again. Eventually he starts getting used to it again, but for the first few days he's practically on the edge of a mental breakdown at every moment. He's also super jumpy from it (and from the ungodly paranoia he got from the mindscape lmao) and is quite firmly "no touch" for about a week (except for when he initiates stuff with Lanyon). Once he gets used to it tho his touch starved ass is a lot more affectionate and such.

One last thing for him! He's also far more sensitive to hunger and thirst sensations/pain, so he tends to take far better care of their body while in control. It took him a short while to get used to eating and drinking again, but he's more than happy to do it, not realizing how much he had missed it. Plus, he's seen how horrible Jekyll and Hyde would take care of themselves, so he certainly doesn't want their neglect to be his downfall. He's also a bit more sensitive to being tired, but can't sleep very well (especially without Lanyon) because of paranoia and nightmares.

OKAY, NOW, onto Elias!! Most all this stuff is from a discord convo that I didn't feel like rewording, so... Sorry if the formatings weird 💀 (questions are indented and italicized, as well as abbreviated)

OKAY SO, For how Henry (or whoever) convinces Elias to switch back:

Elias usually throws some sort of fit when he's initially order to switch back (except for the very rare instances where he's actively wanting to switch back, like when everyone's busy and he starts getting lonely anyways), though most the time he'll simmer down when Henry starts sorta begging or when either Henry or Lanyon (or very occasionally Hyde) lowkey bribe him. Usually Henry (or Hyde) will bribe him with physical touch/affection (hugs, cuddling, kisses, stuff like that), or bonding time, like going out and doing things together and such (or just doing stuff together at the society, like watching Henry do science or doing paperwork 💀). (Also, sometimes Jekyll will just get somewhat impatient and start asking more desperately and the guilt kinda gets to Elias, Henry usually feels bad about it tho) otherwise, Lanyon will bribe him (quite grudgingly, might I add) with more time out, going to the park with Elias in shadow form and talking, or letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde. But yeah, Elias is lowkey like a little affectionate, overactive puppy :3

[...] I misread "letting him get a gift for Jekyll or Hyde" as "letting him get a gift FROM Jekyll or Hyde" and swore for a moment that sometimes Jekyll/Hyde sent gifts to Elias but Lanyon stole them [... ]

LANYON WOULD TOTALLY STEAL ELIAS'S STUFF TO USE AS BARGAINING LEVERAGE 💀 but yes, bribery is the go to, this guy does NOT like being locked away, so when he does it's either out of guilt or he's getting something out of it, hehe

[...] Imagine that since Lanyon is probably taller than elias, he just hides some lf his stuff on higher places so that he cannot reach them, I feel like Elias would annoy the hell out of him so that he stops doing it though (Lanyon puts them back where they where, and when Elias isn't there, he just hides them again) also, I just imagined Jekyll like guilt tripping or manipulating him so that he drinks the potion

Oh he absolutely would, Lanyon would have a whole "confiscated" shelf for it too, and Elias would definitely whine about it with sooo much persistence. AND JFKGKKF YEAH JEKYLL WOULD 😭😭 both out of selfishness and not, since he still hasn't tested how the formula behaves when an alter ego is out for prolonged amounts of time, and sometimes he just wants Robert back.

Jekyll likes Elias, he just has more of a preference for Lanyon. Jekylls probably also got a bit less patience for Elias's whining after dealing with Hyde's for so long lmao, he always feels kinda bad about being mean or anything to Elias tho, since it's kinda his fault that Lanyon split.

Would Lanyon ever like bother Elias with the fact that Jekyll likes him better?? Like maybe, at one point he just gets too tired of him wanting to hang out with Jekyll and says to him that Jekyll just deals with him out of pity, and like Elias then just feeling kinda bad about it and wondering if Jekyll actually likes him??

If Lanyon's feeling especially spiteful and annoyed, probably, but also Elias worries about that enough on his own and bothers Lanyon with all his self deprecating thoughts anyways 💀

How does Hyde feel about Elias?

He's generally guilt free about the whole "splitting Lanyon" thing and /gen likes Elias way more than he likes Lanyon lmao. He still gets that sorta bitter anger and resentment when he looks at Lanyon, but he doesn't get that with Elias. Hyde kinda thinks that Elias is all the best parts of Lanyon (Except for Elias's emotional sensitivity sometimes, but Hyde deals. He feels surprisingly bad when he upsets Elias..) But yeah, Elias is most of the reason why Hyde is complacent enough to actually kinda lay low after messing up Blackfog and stuff, so Jekyll certainly likes Elias for keeping Hyde somewhat in check lmao

And that's everything I have for this!!! Thank you so much for the ask :D

#answered asks #oc: elias wright #oc: “whole” jekyll #jekyll and hyde #tgs #the glass scientists #my ramblings #lanyon takes the potion au

[chronicowboy]

this still is from the penultimate episode of the season (they're filming it first for availability reasons) it's titled "near misses", tumblr has been speculating about who's going to almost die this time (we think it's chimney because madney haven't got married yet, some people think it's hen just because it's been a while and also she's had a very complex storyline this season), in fact the episode is that of a bunch of calls about near misses, it's an easy shift all things considered, instead it's near misses in the 118's personal life, athena and bobby find a pregnancy test in the bathroom when they go to visit may at college and it turns out to be her roommate's, maddie and chimney almost have to cancel their wedding because of scheduling issues, hen and karen are worried about denny and the new baby getting along but it turns out school is just a bit tougher than normal, buck and eddie have spent the whole season having their own respective commitment arcs in their relationships, they have not spoken about this shared issue once but they come very close at the start of this episode after a couple of beers, only they get all quiet and then somebody's eyes drop to somebody's lips and holy shit and chris walks in asking for some water before bed, the rest of the episode is them dealing with these pretty run of the mill near miss calls whilst longing heavily and almost kissing every time they get a little too close until eventually they get a Real Call and eddie almost dies but ends up coming out unscathed, but buck grabs him and hugs him super tight and drives him home from the hospital after his check up and eddie asks him to stay and buck says that he'll be back before chris' bedtime he just has something to do and he goes and breaks up with natalia, cut back to eddie sending a text to marisol reading "we need to talk" just as buck returns and cue the softest shared smile and fondest hearteyes you've ever seen on television

#sami rambles #hi i'm not mentally well thanks for asking #and im probably going to be late for my lectures because of this :D #911 spoilers #911 show #911 abc #911 spec #buddie #eddie diaz #buck x eddie #evan buckley

[uncanny-tranny]

This might be controversial to some, but you cannot "tough love" your way to preventing suicide. You cannot have the attitude that people who complete suicide are selfish or are ungrateful or immature. If your mindset about suicide isn't coming from compassion rather than judgment, it won't help suicidal people. You will never help us with a slap on the wrist and a lecture about how we're awful for even thinking about completing suicide.

Suicide intervention starts with compassion and care.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #suicide #suicide tw #suicide mention tw #death tw #ask to tag (genuine) #since i have a foreboding feeling about this: please do not clown on this post thank you #my dad and i had a discussion about this and some of his stories made me sick... #...like he took a course on assisting and intervening those who are about to or are thinking of completing suicide... #...and they asked everybody in the class what they thought about suicide... #...and he said SO many people were saying how awful and selfish it was and holy fuck i was so angry hearing that... #...and i'm glad he talked about how he said his answer was that he can't say if it's bad or not... #i tried to include as many tags as i could but let me know if there are any i ought to include #genuinely i despise the way a lot of people talk about this subject. makes me sick to my stomach #i feel déjà vu writing about this so i may well have made a post like this. oh well though. too important to me

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Dazai has a distant, well adjusted cousin named Shuuji who is ACTUALLY the evil mastermind of BSD. Thoughts?

My god. I think you've done it. I think you've solved BSD.

I hope it gets revealed scooby-doo style but everyone is just confused at the reveal because Shuuji looks identical to Dazai, kickstarting another several year long arc that is just a dramatic case of miscommunication.

Alternatively, Shuuji poses as Dazai for a bit then dramatically whips off the mask of his Dazai disguise, only for the Agency to just straight up not believe him and go back to their work because they think it's just more Dazai shenanigans that they are unfortunately used to. They keep dismissing the possibility as ridiculous, which makes Shuuji start to doubt his own identity. Ranpo, of course knows, but he is too busy grabbing popcorn and waiting for the guy to snap.

...or, most likely, he never even gets the chance to go in disguise because he's so painfully normal he's found out instantly.

Shuuji, pointing at Dazai: "Shoot him, he's the mastermind!"

Kunikida, aiming his gun at Shuuji with no hesitation: "The real Dazai would NEVER pass up a chance to die!"

#obsessed with the notion that the well-adjusted guy is worse somehow. #'actually dazai not being mentally ill would NOT make him better. to prove that here's his terrible normal cousin who is so normal' #whbefjvh #thanks for the ask! #bsd #bsd theories #<-I'm tagging it as this and no one can stop me. #storyrambles #to be clear i am losing my mind at this ahdbajvh #distant well-adjusted cousin shuuji

[wooferdill]

you okay? Too many things happening?

The crowning jewel of this week was me staying ninety minutes late at work tonight because an unknown man had a break with reality in my front lobby.

I work on a farm in the middle of nowhere.

#woofwoofs #asks #cactusprisms #hey thank you for reaching out though! #and yes he is on his way to a hospital in an ambulance which is unfortunately the best resource i had for him #like I'm not in a well populated area. single femme presenting person on a farm at night being approached by Man In Mental Health Crisis #sure was a thing that fucking Happened

[touchd0wn-boy]

May I ask you, because I never really listened to AVA except for the first few singles which are still some of my favorite songs, do you know did Tom ever write any songs that could be seen as about Blink or about Mark or Travis?

As far as I know the only one that's explicitly about blink is Start The Machine.

Obviously the emotions that came with the breakup are evident in a lot of songs, especially throughout that first album (starting anew, moving on, finding new purpose, war as a metaphor for a ruined relationship, it's all in there), but Tom always saw AVA as a way to become something more than 'Tom from blink-182' so he doesn't address any of it as openly as Mark does with +44. It's all more concepts and abstractions.

Oh, and Rite of Spring is Tom recapping his entire life up to that point, so it mentions blink too. During the Lifeforms tour in 2021 he actually dedicated it to Mark a few times and used it as a backdrop to talk about their restored friendship, so he clearly associates it with blink and that time in his life.

Also: listen to AVA. They're really good, I promise.

#i guess suburban kings from tom's solo/demo album in 2015 kinda relates to blink as well but it's in the same vein as rite of spring #i.e. 'i'm from a broken home in the suburbs and i'm gonna start a punk rock band about it!' #tom started AVA and went 'well i'm gonna write about LOVE and HOPE and the UNIVERSE and everything BEAUTIFUL' #whereas mark just kinda published his diary--anger and angst and hurt and bitterness included #but one of them was high on painkillers and the other in the worst mental state of his life so their music definitely reflects that too #thanks for the ask!!

[galaxxies18]

「Amidst the Clearing in the Rain」 - Rindou

Ignite A Noise who? Don't know her-

After a whole year of playing I finally have Rindou's initial 5* fully bloomed :D

pt. 1

Rindou Are you headed home? It suddenly started raining, so please be careful. Do you have an umbrella? I can lend you an umbrella if you’d like. MC Wouldn’t it be troubling for Rindou-san? Rindou I’m fine. My house is nearby, so it’s easy to run. More importantly, I’m more concerned about you catching a cold. MC I’ll be sure to be careful. Thank you. Rindou Ah, I’m sorry. I feel like I’ve intruded too much. My family has always been prone to catching colds. I’m sorry. Please, just be careful. MC Then, shouldn’t Rindou-san be careful as well? Rindou I’ve always been quite healthy, so I’ll be fine. Besides, I don’t dislike the rain. You could say I like looking at it. It feels like everything is being washed away. Though it is a bit silly to let your emotions be swayed by the weather like this... I feel like the truth is very close to this, surprisingly. You can’t go against nature. Ah, I’m sorry. I got in your way. If my umbrella is alright with you, it’s in Unei’s office. If you ever need it, please just take it. Well then, please take care. See you tomorrow.

pt. 2

Rindou When it rained yesterday, were you alright? It suddenly stopped as I was about to head home. However, when I left the store, it started pouring again. It caught me a bit off guard. I ran as fast as I could because my house was just nearby, but when I arrived my clothes were soaked heavily. MC Are you alright? Rindou I’m alright. I’m a very healthy person. (coughs) MC ...You’re not okay. Rindou I’m alright.

MC Please don’t overdo it. Rindou Fufu, this is quite refreshing. In Starless, you’re responsible for your own physical condition. Because we fulfil a variety of roles, even an understudy needs t be able to stand on their own. If you're unable to stand on the change, they'll change the starting line up without hesitation. So, I don’t have time to get sick. (coughs) MC Rindou-san...? Rindou I think it’s a bit dusty in here. I’ll be sure to clean up later. (dancing) ….Huh, where did I leave my water bottle? MC Ah, isn’t it this here? Here you go. Rindou Thank you very much. I’ll go grab it. Ah, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hold on to your hand. MC Your fingers were very warm. Do you perhaps have a fever? Rindou (angry) I don’t. I’m fine. Rindou (calms down) ...I’ve caused you to worry. I’m sorry, but I really am alright. I will return to the lesson. Please watch over me if you’d like. MC ...You’re alright, huh.

pt. 3

Rindou (looking around) It...It should be around here somewhere.... MC Rindou-san? Are you reall okay? You've looked pale even before you went to take a break... Rindou (shocked) ...Ah, apologies, you caught me off guard. It seems I've scared you as well. I've been looking for something, but it looks like I'll just have to ask Un'ei later. I'll go back to my lessons. You should also- (collapses) MC Rindou-san!? Are you okay? Rindou Sorry...I'm just a bit... MC You have a fever, don't you? Please take a seat and relax. Rindou Un'ei-kun should have cold medicine, so I thought of looking just for that... MC I'll look for you. Please just sit down. Rindou I'm sorry, I'm troubling you again... I'm always so helpless... MC Hm? Rindou It's nothing. (MC hands over the cold medicine to Rindou) Rindou I'm sorry to bother you, but the cold medicine really helps. I'm grateful to Un'ei-kun for having a medicine box ready. ...Break time is almost over. I was just in time. MC This doesn't work immediately, though? So why don't you just rest for the day? Rindou It's alright. Sitting down made me feel a little better. I'm sorry for all the trouble I've caused you. And one more thing...can you please keep this a secret from the others? MC But... Rindou If I'm not in my best, I will be disqualified from being out top. I don't want anyone else to know about this. MC D-disqualified... Rindou I won't forgive myself if that were to happen. I don't want to be taken away from the stage. ...Hah, it looks like it'll rain heavily tonight as well. MC (Rindou-san...)

pt. 4

(backstage, a rearrangement of Niji no Kanata E plays in the bg) Rindou Welcome, MC-san. I'm glad you could make it to the show. MC Uh, are you alright now? Rindou Fufu, I'm alright now. There's no need to worry. The cold is our little secret, okay? MC Please just don't overowrk yourself, okay? Rindou That's right...I don't want to show you such an unsightly view. MC That's not what I meant... Rindou I should really be careful, because I don't want you to be so worried over me. It's embarassing to be seen so weak like that... But, it made me a bit happy. Thank you so much for worrying for me so unconditionally. If you ever got a cold, I should be the first one to know. I'm sure you'll be worried over it, but please let me take care of you as well. MC I hope it doesn't ever get to that. Rindou Speaking of rain, are you alright? It rained a bit a while ago in the morning. MC I was fine. Did Rindou-san get drenched this time? Rindou I had an umbrella with me today, but before I knew it, the rain stopped, and suddenly... Between the buildings, I was able to see a rainbow. It had been a while since I last saw one, so I was really happy to see it. I wish you were there. I wanted the two of us to see it together. I wonder what you would have said at that moment. I really can't hate the rain. The atmosphere during it is so nice. It feels like everything will be washed away as well. It's not good to be so easily swayed by the weather, despite having rain or not... But, if I'm able to see such a beautiful rainbow at the end, then I'll be happy. Like being able to see you smile. You're going to watch the show, aren't you? Please, I want you to keep your eyes on me. Please, only look at me, okay?

#pspsps @ the paradise lost 5* make a comeback i want you so bad- #i hate that this song made me think back to Nostalgic Rainfall (Honeyworks) I love that song so much this feels like a personal attack- #someone stop rindou before I ksamlfdanslfda- #THIS REALLY IS JUST NOSTALGIC RAINFALL I HATE YOUUUUU #iM COMBUSTING WHAT IS THIS ENDING CHAPTER I-JWDNJLSNLAS #***SHAKES HIM VIOLENTLY*** DONT GIVE ME SEROTONIN HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME FEEL SOMETHING???? #AND THE NIJI NO KANATA E THAT PLAYS IN THE BACKGROUND WHILE YOU'RE READING THIS- #BITES INTO HIS SHOES #DONT DO THIS???? #actually thank god I dont the ParaLost card im already losing my mind just from this wtfffffff #insert that picure of that dog biting into the bed #can I get a refund on the $5 I spent to get him during the greenday banner I didnt ask for this- #AND LIKE THE FACT THAT HE WAS ONE OF MY FIRST 5* AND HIS FINAL COPY CAME HOME DURING THE AGF FREE PULLS ASFFSDSDSAFS #bro reading that last part fits so well with Nostalgic Rainfall's last lyics :')))))) #“I finally understood what love is after the downpour.” #“I'm no longer lost. I don't need an umbrella anymore.” #Head full head full head so full- #bites into my fist until I bleed and die #anyway I didnt have a mental breakdown in the tags you dont see that dont loo at that- :')))))) #look* #; galaxxi's translations. #bsts #bsts rindou #blackstar: theater starless #blackstar theatre starless