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poisonthefuckingwell · 2 months

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An essay on the American civil war.

By Tophran Flipgus

The American civil war was the division of the union. Brother against brother. Tall hat against shorter hats. In 1976 grover Cleveland gave the Gettysburg address which would embroil the union in the rodent invasion for twenty six groovy groovy years. Abraham Lincoln lived to be six hundred and forty five times and would bear forty nine children from his own womb, which he crafted from a stove pipe and all the pennies that would fit in his hat. Slavery is often cited as the primary cause for the civil war. This is because that's literally what they were fighting about. That was the whole bit.

Are you dense? Were you raised in Florida? Is Mickey mouse burrowed so deep in your sinus cavity that you hear naught but the dulcet tones of the song of the south? Evidence shows that splash mountain is extremely overrated, but in 18312, Robert e Lee accidently shot himself while trying to do that one trick from that movie where they curve the bullets. It had Angelina Jolie in it I think. I wanted to see if. The trailer looked pretty impressive. Experts later agreed the film was middling at best and probably a sign of a stark downturn in Angelina Jolie's career. Thankfully it did at least spawn one very good episode of Myth busters. Robert e Lee left behind a loaf of bread as his sole heir. Sadly it would be burnt in an uncleaned toaster mere days later. Ulysses s Grant declared the bread slices "good enough for the union" and made an extremely mediocre peanut butter and jelly sandwich in the smoldering remains. Harriet Tubman is a national treasure deserving of a final resting place on the 20 dollar bill. When asked about where we would put Andrew Jackson, judges gave us a zero out of ten. Trail of tears? More like Snail of tears. I no longer remember where I was going with this. In this essay I will convince you to give me at least an a. Mla citation. Gettysburg. Little grey hats that look like they have been sat on. Emancipation station what's your facion picking up adverbs and adjectives and conjugation.

The rest of the world waited with baited breath as the great American asparagus seemed to by prolapsing inward less then a centennial after is revolutionary birth on the formth of July. Hamilton covers the events leading up to the founding of such a nation, and so too does the musical 1776. Both biopics are musicals focusing on a founding father and the one thing they have in common is they're both bizarrely horny. Hamilton famously features a song about the petticoat candle in which American politician Lin Manuel Hernandez makes moves on a lady and feels a little bad about it. Factually the real Hamilton felt no guilt at all due to being in actuallity three geckos in a trenchcoat. All hail gecko Rushmore, the one true heir of the backingham lincler. 1776 has that song Jefferson's wife sings about how much she adopted Jefferson's violin playing when in actuality she is definitely singing about bed gymnastics. It was not subtle. no song exist about him forcing himself on one of their slaves though. Wonder why that is. Wild. It's an excellent musical if you haven't seen it. Ben Franklin is played by that guy from Mary Poppins. The ceiling guy. You know the one. Fat snagglepuss.

I'm conclusion, Texas was never actually allowed to legally secede from the union. The whole point of the civil war was to stop states from doing that. Why would they let them have a stipulation like that in their constitution right after getting them annexed again. That's an urban legend and not a very convincing one.

Florida however can succede at any time for any reason on grounds that wes all be better off if it drifted off to the Bermuda triangle were it belongs and let decent folk be

Thank you for reading my essay on the civil war. I hope you enjoyed grading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Citations and foot notes are a hearty party of any blanched burka fest and viewers like you.

#five paragraph essay #history essay #civil war #american revolution #essay for sale

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feral-enfield-named-rowan · 2 months

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churchill was a wordy and confusing motherfuck jesus christ

WHAT DO YOU MEAN SPEAK ENGLISH YOU HAUGHTY BASTARD

damn

#im dying ignore me #history #this is for an essay #dbq #i hate dbq essays #screams #history essay #dbq essay #churchill #winston churchill

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brujitaaverde · 5 months

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I have a history essay due today and I seem to think that divine intervention will somehow complete it for me

#academia #history essay #help #I think I’m gonna fail

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cosmarrrs · 1 month

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get this boy out of the magnus institute NOW

#cosm's art!!!!!#magnuspod #the magnus protocol fanart #the magnus protocol #samama khalid #jon sims #the wires behind him are supposed to look like canary wings #This is another reach piece #IM GONNA FAIL HISTORY I FUCKING DREW THIS INSTEAD OF DOING MY ESSAY IM GONNA DIE #but it's okay #Hashtag dropout

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vamplire · 1 year

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y’all are forgetting the true meaning of the ides of march. today is not just about stabbing, it’s about the friendship, unity & coming together to stab in groups

#vamplire.txt #in this essay i will #lmao #history #ides of march #the ides of march

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renthony · 8 days

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In Defense of Shitty Queer Art

Queer art has a long history of being censored and sidelined. In 1895, Oscar Wilde’s novel The Picture of Dorian Gray was used as evidence in the author’s sodomy trials. From the 1930s to the 1960s, the American Hays Code prohibited depictions of queerness in film, defining it as “sex perversion.” In 2020, the book Steven Universe: End of an Era by Chris McDonnell confirmed that Rebecca Sugar’s insistence on including a sapphic wedding in the show is what triggered its cancellation by Cartoon Network. According to the American Library Association, of the top ten most challenged books in 2023, seven were targeted for their queer content. Across time, place, and medium, queer art has been ruthlessly targeted by censors and protesters, and at times it seems there might be no end in sight.

So why, then, are queer spaces so viciously critical of queer art?

Name any piece of moderately-well-known queer media, and you can find immense, vitriolic discourse surrounding it. Audiences debate whether queer media is good representation, bad representation, or whether it’s otherwise too problematic to engage with. Artists are picked apart under a microscope to make sure their morals are pure enough and their identities queer enough. Every minor fault—real or perceived—is compiled in discourse dossiers and spread around online. Lines are drawn, and callout posts are made against those who get too close to “problematic art.”

Modern examples abound, such as the TV show Steven Universe, the video game Dream Daddy, or the webcomic Boyfriends, but it’s far from a new phenomenon. In his book Hi Honey, I’m Homo!, queer pop culture analyst Matt Baume writes about an example from the 1970s, where the ABC sitcom titled Soap was protested by homophobes and queer audiences alike—before a single episode of the show ever aired. Audiences didn’t wait to actually watch the show before passing judgment and writing protest letters.

After so many years starved for positive representation, it’s understandable for queer audiences to crave depictions where we’re treated well. It’s exhausting to only ever see the same tired gay tropes and subtext, and queer audiences deserve more. Yet the way to more, better, varied representation is not to insist on perfection. The pursuit of perfection is poison in art, and it’s no different when that art happens to be queer.

When the pool of queer art is so limited, it feels horrible when a piece of queer art doesn’t live up to expectations. Even if the representation is technically good, it’s disappointing to get excited for a queer story only for that story to underwhelm and frustrate you.

But the world needs that disappointing art. It needs mediocre art. It even needs the bad art. The world needs to reach a point where queer artists can fearlessly make a mess, because if queer artists can only strive for perfection, the less art they can make. They may eventually produce a masterpiece, but a single masterpiece is still a drop in the bucket compared to the oceans of censorship. The only way to drown out bigotry and offensive stereotypes created by bigots is to allow queer artists the ability to experiment, learn through making mistakes, and represent their queer truth even if it clashes with someone else’s.

If queer artists aren’t allowed to make garbage, we can never make those masterpieces everyone craves. If queer artists are terrified at all times that their art will be targeted both by bigots and their own queer communities, queer art cannot thrive.

Let queer artists make shitty art. Let allies to queer people try their hand at representation, even if they miss the mark. Let queer art be messy, and let the artists screw up without fear of overblown retribution.

It’s the only way we’ll ever get more queer art.

Like this essay? Tip me on Ko-Fi, pledge to my Patreon, or commission an essay on the topic of your choice!

#original essays #original post #media studies #queer history #queer media #queer issues #fandom issues

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comradekatara · 2 months

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i know that ppl like to joke about iroh having to tutor zuko in algebra after he’s banished, but i also like to think about how during that week or so that aang was enrolled in a fire nation middle school, he would have just surreptitiously handed assignments to sokka to complete on his behalf so as to keep up appearances. and then, after he mysteriously disappears, the faculty get together to be like, “that kuzon sure was a troublemaker, but just take a look at his homework. in all the three days he was enrolled in this school, he got a perfect score on every math test, but somehow managed to get every single detail bizarrely and offensively wrong on his history assignment. what a strange, brilliant kid”

#aang #sokka #aang&sokka #aang comes back with a 0 on his history essay like ‘CARE TO EXPLAIN’#and sokka’s just like ‘I COULDNT ADHERE TO THEIR INSANE REVISIONIST PROPAGANDA IM SORRYYYYY’

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teapot-studies · 1 year

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Random writing tips that my history professor just told during class that are actually helpful

Download all your sources or print them so you can turn off your wifi

Give your phone to someone

Just. WRITE. Writing is analysing, you’ll get more ideas as you write. It doesn’t need to be perfect, for now you can just blurt out words and ideas randomly. You can fix it later.

Create a skeleton/structure before writing.

Stop before you get exhausted. It’s best to stop writing when you still have some energy and inspiration left, this will also motivate you to get started again next time.

Make a to do list

Work in bite sizes. Even if it’s not much, as long as you put some ideas on paper or do some editing.

Simple language =/= boring language, simple language = clear language.

Own your words. If they are not your words, state this clearly in the text, not just in the footnotes.

STOP BEFORE YOU GET EXHAUSTED. Listing it again because it’s easily one of the best tips a teacher has ever given me.

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macbeth-s · 1 year

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that’s it. that’s the show

#1899 #1899 spoilers #1899 netflix #1899edit #tvgifs #tvedit #netflixedit #dailynetflix #cinematv #perioddramaedit #period drama #submitting this set to my uni as a history essay arguing why europeans spent 1000+ years at war #myedit

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fictionadventurer · 9 months

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I have to talk about Chester Arthur. His story makes me go crazy. A mediocre president from the 1880s who's completely forgotten today has one of the best redemption stories I've ever heard and I need to make people understand just how cool his story is.

So, like, he starts out as this idealist, okay? He's the son of an abolitionist minister and becomes famous as a New York lawyer who defends the North's version of Rosa Parks whose story desegregates New York City's trolley system.

Then he starts getting pulled into politics and becomes one of the grimiest pieces of the political machine. He wants money, power, prestige, and he gets it. He becomes the right-hand man of Roscoe Conkling, the most feared political boss in the nation, a guy who will throw his weight around and do the most ruthless things imaginable to keep his friends in power and destroy his enemies.

Because Arthur's this guy's top lackey, he gets to be Controller of the Port of New York--the best-paying political appointment in the country, because that port brings in, like, 70% of the federal government's funds in tariffs. He gets a huge salary plus a percentage of all the fines they levy on lawbreakers, and because he's not afraid to make up infractions to fine people over, he is absolutely raking in the dough. Making the rough equivalent of $1.3 million a year--absolutely insane amounts of money for a government position. He's spending ridiculous sums on clothes, buying huge amounts of alcohol and cigars to share with people as part of his job recruiting supporters to the party, going out nearly every night to wine and dine people as part of his work in the political machine. He's living the high life. Even when President Hayes pulls him from his position on suspicions of fraud, he's still living a great life of wealth, power, and prestige.

Then in 1880, his beloved wife dies. While he's out of town working for a political campaign. And he can't get back in time to say goodbye before she dies. Because he's a guy who has big emotions, it absolutely tears him up inside, especially because Nell resented how much his political work kept him away from home. He has huge regrets, but he just moves in with Roscoe Conkling and keeps working for the political machine.

And then he gets a chance to be vice president. The Republican Party has nominated James Garfield, a dark horse candidate who wants to reform the spoils system that has given Conking his power and gave Arthur his position as Port Controller. Conkling is pissed, and he controls New York, and since the party's not going to win the election without New York, they think that appointing Conkling's top lackey as vice-president will pacify him.

They're wrong--Conkling orders Arthur to refuse--but Arthur thinks this sounds like a great opportunity. The only political position he's ever held is Port Controller--a job he wasn't elected to and that he was pulled from in disgrace. Vice President is way more than he could ever have hoped for. It's a position with a lot of political pull and zero actual responsibilities. He'll get to spend four years living in up in Washington high society. It's the perfect job! Of course he accepts, and Conkling comes around when he figures out that he can use this to his advantage.

When Garfield becomes president, Arthur does everything he can to undermine him. He uses every dirty political trick he can think of to block everything that Garfield wants to do. He refuses to let the Senate elect a president pro tempore so he can stay there and influence every bill that comes through. He all but openly boasts of buying votes in the election. He's so much Conkling's lackey that he may as well be the henchman of a cartoon supervillain. On Conkling's orders, he drags one of Garfield's Cabinet members out of bed in the middle of the night--while the guy is ill--to drag him to Conkling's house so he can be forced to resign. He's just absolutely a thorn in the president's side, a henchman doing everything he can to maintain the corrupt spoils system.

Then in July 1881, when Arthur's in New York helping Conkling's campaign, the president gets shot. By a guy who shouts, "Now Arthur will be president!" just after he fires the gun. Arthur has just spent the past four months fighting the president tooth and nail. Everyone thinks he's behind the assassination. There are lynch mobs looking to take out him and Conkling. The papers are tearing him apart.

Arthur is absolutely distraught. He rushes to Washington to speak with the president and assure him of his innocence, but the doctors won't let him in the room. He gets choked up when talking to the First Lady. Reporters find him weeping in his house in Washington. Once again, death has torn his world apart and he's not getting a chance to make amends.

Arthur goes to New York while the president is getting medical treatment, and he refuses to come to Washington and take charge because he doesn't dare to give the impression that he's looking to take over. No one wants Arthur to be president and he doesn't want to be president, and the possibility that this corrupt political lackey is about to ascend to the highest office in the land is absolutely terrifying to everyone.

Then in August, when it's becoming clear that the president is unlikely to recover, he gets a letter. From a 31-year-old invalid from New York named Julia Sand. A woman from a very politically-minded family who has been following Arthur's career for years. And she writes him this astounding letter that takes him to task for his corrupt, conniving ways, and the obsession with worldly power and prestige that has brought him wealth and fame at the cost of his own soul--and she tells him that he can do better. In the midst of a nationwide press that's tearing him apart, this one woman writes to tell him that she believes he has the capacity to be a good president and a good man if he changes his ways.

And then he does. After Garfield dies, people come to Arthur's house and find servants who tell them that Arthur is in his room weeping like a child (I told you he had big emotions), but he takes the oath of office and ascends to the presidency. And he becomes a completely different man. His first speech as president mentions that one of his top priorities is reforming the spoils system so that people will be appointed based on merit rather than getting appointed as political favors with each change in the administration. Even though this system made him president. When Conkling comes to Arthur's office telling him to appoint his people to important government positions, Arthur calls his demands outrageous, throws him out, and keeps Garfield's appointees in the positions. "He's not Chet Arthur anymore," one of his former political friends laments. "He's the president."

He loses all his former political friends. He's never trusted by the other side. Yet he sticks to his guns and continues to support spoils system reform. He prosecutes a postal service corruption case that everyone thought he would drop. He's the one who signs into law the first civil service reform bill, even though presidents have been trying to do this for more than ten years, and he's the person who's gained all his power through the spoils system. He immediately takes action to enforce this bill when he could have just dropped it. He becomes a champion of this issue even though it's the last thing anyone would have expected of him.

He oversees naval reform. He oversees a renovation of the White House. He still prefers the social duties of the presidency, but he's respectable in a way that no one expected. Possibly because Julia Sand keeps sending him letters of encouragement and advice over the next two years. But also because he's dying.

Not long after ascending to the presidency, he learns he's suffering from a terminal kidney disease. And he tells no one. He keeps going about his daily life, fulfilling his duties as president, and keeps his health problems hidden. Once again, death is upending his life, and this time it's his own death. He's lived a life he's ashamed of, and he doesn't have much time left to change. He enters the presidency as an example of the absolute worst of the political system, and leaves it as a respectable man.

He makes a token effort to seek re-election, but because of his health problems, he doesn't mind at all when someone else gets the nomination. He dies a couple of years after leaving office. The day before his death, he orders most of his papers burned, because he's ashamed of his old life--but among the things that are saved are the letters from Julia Sand, the woman who encouraged him to change his ways.

This is an astounding story full of so many twists and turns and dramatic moments. A man who falls from idealism into the worst kind of corruption and then claws his way back up to decency because of a series of devastating personal losses and unexpected opportunities to do more than he could have ever hoped to do. I just go crazy thinking about it and I need you all to understand just how amazing this story is.

#history is awesome #presidential talk #i thought about his story again this morning #and was once again struck by the desire to chase people down and make them understand just how amazing this story is #and instead of harassing random strangers i decided to inflict it on tumblr again #my original essay was rather too long and dry and tangled up in too many other details #and didn't quite capture the 'i want to chase you down and look you in the eye and make you freak out about this with me' vibe of this stor #this still doesn't quite capture it but at least it's shorter #and prevents me from rambling to unsuspecting family members #sorry for inflicting this on you again but what else am i supposed to do?

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kasiounknown · 11 days

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[Has 3 essays to finish in the evening]

[Does none]

[Does all 3 on the bus in]

"God I'm such an academic weapon "

#academic weapon #school #history #essay #history essay

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extraelodee · 7 months

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serious art later ive got essays to work on have this while waiting xD

(16th September)

#forever fanart #qsmp forever #tubbo fanart #qsmp tubbo #fitmc fanart #qsmp fitmc #pac fanart #qsmp pactw #qsmp pac #qsmp fanart #qsmp #these damn history essays #id reconsider if they're qsmp history essays intead #im joking #maybe #guys please #i just noticed the typo and i meant instead #4halo

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raavenb2619 · 4 months

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I’m not sure when exactly this happened, but I think it’s clear that the aro community really is a community, now.

For the longest time I’ve felt like we were still in stasis, not quite there; a proto-community, yes, but not quite a community. But we have more history now to lean back on, more of each other to talk to and laugh with and cry with and learn from. More people that’ll go forward and make a part of modern aro history. More people that believe us, believe in us, will stand with us if we ask them.

I wouldn’t consider myself an aro elder yet, though each year I’m surprised at how long aromanticism has been a part of my life, how long I’ve been free of doubt or insecurity about my aromanticism, how far we’ve come since I was questioning. Then again, when I was questioning, some of the people I looked up to for guidance were probably close to the age I am now, so I might be there sooner than I think.

And, I’m so so hopeful for all aros, young or old, new or not, because we’ve come so far. Day by day, progress is slow (and yes, it’s unfair, it should be so much faster), but looking back it feels fast. We are our own role models, the people we look up to for guidance. We carve our own path through life, making things up as we go. I used to find that terrifying, because I had no idea what the future would bring. But it’s actually amazing, because I can ignore all these silly “rules” and guidelines about what my life should be, and instead ask, “what do I want my life to be?”

Younger me, you have no idea how awesome your future is gonna be. I’m sorry about the pain and hardship you’ll go through first; it won’t be fair and you shouldn’t have to deal with it. But you’ll make it through, and one day you’ll be me. I can’t wait for you to get here.

#aromantic #aro #aspec #queer #lgbtq #original #text #can't believe i was busy on a day when aromantic got super trending #also on the topic of history: history is super important and we should make sure we're good custodians of it!#make backups of your tumblr blogs/wordpress sites/fanfiction/analytical essays/whatever!#save links into the internet archive/wayback machine!#future aros will thank us for every thing we save from link rot #current aros will thank us for keeping our resources alive and accessible

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saturngalore · 2 months

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afrofuturism🪐

☆ one ~ solange hair by darknightt (tsr warning) ☆ two ~ loretta hair by @simtric ☆ three ~ bahati braids by @sheabuttyr ☆ four ~ isonoe hair by octetsica ☆ five ~ binah braids by @sheabuttyr ☆ six ~ cornrows & curls hair by @leeleesims1 ☆ seven ~ indie hair by @sashima ☆ eight ~ loc petals by @shespeakssimlish ☆ nine ~ mnemosyne hair by octetsica ☆

mini dedication essay to black simmers and ts4 creators below! pls read if you have the chance! <3

this edit is a small homage to afrofuturism and the various unique black hairstyles (and especially the black creators of most of these hairs) that i have downloaded and admired over the years! some of these are old and some of these are new.

to me, afrofuturism means constantly honoring/reclaiming/challenging the past while constantly creating/dreaming of a better society/world/future. a society/world/future that embraces and empowers all of our differences, ingenuity, aspirations, and unique lived/cultural experiences. a society/world/future that does not limit us through the various systems of marginalization and oppression (racism, homophobia, transphobia, fatphobia, sexism, xenophobia, ableism, classism, colorism, etc.) that often affects how we, as black people, live today.

blackness is so diverse and intricate yet it's always been a struggle to find my culture within a game that's known for being so limiting, bland, and extremely eurocentric when it comes to hairstyles, clothing, food traditions/events, etc. black simmers have always had to figure out how to make this game more inclusive and make it resemble either more like how our ancestors lived, how our current lives are, or how we would want our lives (and even our children's lives) to look like in the future no matter how dystopian the real world look and feel now. fortunately, these hairs and their uniqueness bring a huge sense of culture and style to this game. they have always inspired me and made me feel extremely proud to a part of the lovely african diaspora (and the ever-growing black simmer community).

in a way, being a black simmer and cc creator usually means that we are often digitally creating our own worlds as afrofuturists to varying degrees (whether we know it or not) every time we open our game, make our sims, make houses, and/or make black cultural cc. also, now i know that cc making is not easy to do and is extremely time-consuming so this post is also just me giving all black cc creators especially those who create for free their well-deserved flowers! here are some other black cc creators who created cc that have greatly impacted my game since i first started playing sims 4: @/leeleesims1 @/simtric @/hi-land @/yuyulie @/sims4bradshaw @/ebonixsims @/xmiramira @/sheabuttyr @/qwertysims @/oplerims @/sleepingsims @/shespeakssimlish and so many more im forgetting probably (im too shy rn to tag ppl but i greatly appreciate y’all fr i hope y’all telepathically get this message somehow 😭).

last but not least, i am hoping that this inspires somebody to keep creating or start creating regardless of what they think their skill level is! somebody will absolutely fall in love with your work and/or your art/work will 100% change someone's game forever <333

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