#i also love hell is forever but it's not on my playlist so i didn't add it

[vroomian]

What’s your favorite song from Hazbin Hotel? Or your top five if you’re feeling generous?

in no particular order

Hell's greatest dad

loser, baby

stayed gone

finale (mostly for alastor's part. love a good breakdown <3)

you didn't know

#you've got questions we've got answers #hazbin hotel #i love showtunes and sometimes that shows lol #i also love hell is forever but it's not on my playlist so i didn't add it #yes all these songs are on my spotify playlist why do you ask

[cherubispunk]

CHERUB (PART III) - Dealer!Joel Miller x AFAB!Reader

summary: the devil has a funny habit of making you want your own suffering.

a note from Lucy: Well, this is it folks. The third and final instalment of the unholy trinity that is cherub. The fic that i had no idea would get this amount of traction. The fic that gave me my username, blog theme, the majority of my mutuals and the freedom to explore more taboo areas of writing that I never felt comfortable with doing before. I just wanted to thank you all for all the kind words you’ve shared with me. Comments, reblogs, messages, they all mean the utter world. But i also want to specifically thank @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin who was such a huge help for motivation when wrting each of these. She's been there since the first day of cherub and always let me obsess over dealer!joel with her. Ange, i love you baby. Out of all my fandom experiences, this has definitely been one of the best. I know this sounds a lot like a goodbye completely, but it's not i swear! I just never really knew where this was going, but I think this is a pretty good way to end the series and I hope you agree too. Part of me isn't ready to let go after such a short run, but I honestly have no idea where to go from here so I think I did it as much justice as I could. Regardless, Cherub and Dealer!Joel will forever have a place in my heart all thanks to you lovely lot! Your love means the world to me and you are all so easy to share this with, you've given me an environment to flourish creatively and I'm eternally grateful for that. I wish you all the love, hugs, kisses, and angel wishes in the world! 

playlist 

wc: 5548 Warnings: 18+ MDNI! DARK CONTENT! Unedited for now, no outbreak, no use of y/n but joel calls the reader ‘Cherub’, plot? what plot? we all know we're here for the porn anyway, bombastic age gap (reader is in her early 20’s and Joel is in his late 50s), gore imagry, religious imagry, Smut, very dubcon in theory but both want it bad, grafic smut, P in V sex (unprotected — pleaseee don’t do tis irl i beg of you), teasing, sort of edging? (idk what to call it but he doesnt fuck you until you beg for it lol). nipple play, biting biting biting!!!!!, references to domestic violence, use of pet names, manipulative! joel, stupid stupid cherub, stockholm syndrome, oral (f receiving), cum eating, pussy slapping, Joel being foul mouthed, cursing, dirty talk, overstimulation. Again, some of the most animalistic, disgustingly wretched and vile vile vile porn I have written thus far…with so little plot that this earned me my place in hell, i have my own circle now. Big Dick Joel Miller comes as his own warning.

series m.list | m.list

The danger didn't lie in his hands. It didn't sit in his closed first to be suffocated. Choked out until the life of it was compressed. Until its face was blue, then purple and its eyes were bloodshot and streaked with red. The danger lay in your heart. And it thrived off the beating.

What is ‘it’, you ask? Mania.

The Greeks had it nailed down when they split love seven different ways. To the crucifix through its punctured and bleeding palms. All equal, but different. They understood that one love is different to the other. That love can be either obsession, or lingering in the quiet parts of a person's mind. You cannot hold up a mirror to one and deceive into believing it is another. No matter how sweet the lie seeps into the ear. They don't work that way. You were not Lucifer, you had no forked tongue. And your mania wasn't Eve. There was no apple to devour. Only the strong arm of Joel Miller to cling to like a noose.

Some love passionately. Find it in the scathing friction of flesh upon flesh. The heat two bodies make only in sex. You were no body anymore. Merely a corpse for him to dig up and breathe life into whenever he needed relief. So it was not Eros. Some love playfully. In the back and forth of a conversation that makes the mind and heart float in the clouds among the soul. Entwine them together until you are too sedated to know the difference between the three pillars of personal holy trinity. There was nothing lighthearted about Joel Miller. So there was no Ludus. Affection. The subtle, it-is-there-even-when-it-is-not weight of lovers hand in lovers hand. Joel clutched your throat with his heavy hand. He didn't lace your fingers in his like tapestry threads. And he was anything but friendly. So it could never be Philia. He was not unconditional. Familial. Constant. Committed. Long lasting. Selfless. He crept in through the backdoor and took. Then slipped back out. So the thick blood red line was drawn through Storge. Agape. Pragma. The love you had was not for yourself. Without him you hated yourself. Hated how you didn’t feel needed. Or wanted. So Philautia was buried six feet under hot earth, the final nail in the coffin that was lowered into the rotting, thick-with-decaying-mulch, stenching ground. By none other than Mania.

This was something you came to realise as you stumbled from his truck back to your room. His come dribbling down your leg. Luke asleep on the sofa. Months passed of the same thing. He’d take you home from work, only letting you go once he'd had his fill. Played out the sick fantasy from mind to matter, let it bleed through his fingers into fruition. You let it happen for mania. It was the thing inside you that kept you going. Before you thought mania fed off your heartbeat. But now you realised mania fed your heartbeat. The kick it got every second fired the next muted pulse. That's what kept it alive. Energy for energy. You were never one to bite the hand that feeds. That’s a sinner's duty.

—

The usual sight of Luke slumped in his lazy boy, guzzling beer was what you expected. The liquor once again swigged past his lips and dribbling down his stubbled chin. Wiry greying hair greasy on his head, balding. Thinning. Residue from a line on the coffee table. You were never tempted by it before. And you were determined never be a Angel dust statistic like him.

Instead, you opened the flimsy door of your trailer to see him hunched over a small collapsible table. His hand running over his sunken eyes, dragging purple eye bags down with his fingertips in shame. Cards in his other. It had your breath catching in your throat like a hare in a wire snare trap. This time around the small collapsible round table. Cards in his hand. And two other men shared a knowing glance and a grim smile of satisfaction. Him.

Joel Miller.

The tension was thicker than molasses in the room. You only wished it was as sweet. You swallowed it down thickly. It stretched your throat. You watched in morbid fascination when he lay his hand on the table in a fan for all to horror at, a sly smirk slithering over his lips and curling the one corner of it up like a scorpion's tail.

“Full house.”

“Fuck!” And Luke’s hand slapped the tabletop as he folded.

The door clicked. All three looked up to see you. Luke, Joel, and the man who held a familiar resemblance to your own personal devil. With eyes on you, you felt more like that hare in the snare than ever. Clapping eyes on the hungry wolf as mutton dripped bloody from his sneer. Cruel and hungry. You imagined him as that wolf, hyde thick and bristled under your soft fingers as he led you to some deep, dark, thorny place. A place only lit by the eyes of owls who observed while he had his way with you. Ripped your stockings to get to sweet fruit.

“Great, the cunt is home.” Luke spat to the room but you, looking over the table again as he bit his thumb nervously to the edge of the hangnail. “Get me a beer.” Your nostrils flared in defiance at his demand, knuckles pale as fingers furled into a fist. An army of goosebumps had stood to attention all along your arms and the back of your neck. A shiver shattering down your spine. Your heart had enough of its prison of your ribcage in your anger, ramming into it over and over in a frantic hammering. And when that wasn't enough, you felt it in your throat. Among the tightening of your airways. “You hear me girl?” He asked, looking at you. He stood, chair scraping against the floor and you staggered back to the point your shoulderblades hit the door. While he was a thin, wiry man, he had a vicious backhand that stung. Like a vengeful aftertaste. “Y’need me to beat some sense inta ya girl, huh?!” You dared to spare a glance at Joel who was too busy collecting his winnings. You soon to be among them.

“Sorry.” You mumbled, looking to the floor and cowering off to the kitchen to get him his beer.

“Y’short, Luke.” You heard from the doorway, straining to hear the tail end of the conversation. Something about your uncle having it by monday. And then Joel telling him he shouldn’t raise a bet he doesn't have the dough to cover.

It took a second to catch your breath. Tears strung in your eyes and your chest threatened to split in two. Your sternum felt like it was cracking down the middle into clean halves under the weight of your chest. A hand clasped over your quivering lips to bite back a horrible sob and muffle it. Only your palm could know you were crying miserably. So you took a beer from the fridge, heard the hiss as the lid gave way and popped off. It clattered to the linoleum and you bared your teeth at the grating sound, picking it up and tossing it in the bin.

“Here.” You mumbled, placing it unceremoniously on the table in front of Luke.

“Y’got any spare cash on you, girl?” Luke asked, beady eyes staring you down as he raised the bottle to his lips and took a drink. You grimaced inwardly at the sight of his yellow teeth when he made a satisfied sigh.

“No.”

Joel’s brow raised. You should know by now not to lie to a man who can read you like a book. That's the thing about narcissists. They have a way of being able to understand you like a one word sentence on paper. A quick glance and you’re unravelling with concealed meaning and connotation.

“C’mon, Cherub…gotta have something from workin’ this late in that diner of yours…” You dared to challenge Joel with a look. A look that retreated soon after the advance of the glare of his eye. The same glare of the hungry wolf. Of the cheated man. It was unkind, and unyielding, and did not hold mercy upon the souls of the enthralled, the damned, or the harrowed. You might try to cross through the sentence, or turn the page. Or shut the book entirely. But the truth is still the truth even when you chose not to look. This was the man that knew your mind. Knew your body. And coaxed his will out of you each time. His word was all it took to cave, so you took the folded bills from your apron, flicking through them with a bitten back scowl,

“How much does he owe you?” Joel smiled with amusement, counting through his winnings to see what was short.

“Ninety-eight.”

‘What?” you asked, eyes wide, hurt. Disheartened. Fingers stilling halfway through the small stack. And Joel smirked.

“You heard me, Cherub.”

“Give Joel his money.” Luke warned.

“But it’s not his money! And it’s not yours to give!” You tried, and saw the warning tick of your uncle's narrow jaw. It was always set on edge before he threw a hand. Cast a palm across your cheek in a brandishing. It had you cowering. Relenting. Tossing the money in front of him. If it fell to the floor in its flurry he could pick it up and grovel about it. But Joel never grovelled. Only relished. Then reminded Luke of the money he still owed for the drugs.

And you walked back to the kitchen, biting into your lip again. With the devil and your demon in the next room over, you were sure this could be hell. A buzz filled your ears. Like the constant thrum of flies over roadkill. In festering flesh wounds where broken white of bone poked through gaping, bleeding holes. Blood matted in the hyde of the animal helpless and scattered across the road. A leg here, smashed teeth there. You were the roadkill. Joel was at the wheel of that which mowed you down. Luke was howling in the passenger side.

His boots thumped clumsily over the linoleum and he let out a huff through his nose while he adjusted his low slung jeans in the doorway.

“Cherub?” He asked, clearing his throat huskily — a consequence of the smokes he used religiously. You stood with your back to him, palms flat to the countertop and head hung low to fight the sting of tears simmering from within.

“He threatened to hit me.” You whispered, not turning to face him. If you mattered his ears would strain to meet you halfway. “And you did nothing.”

“Come on, Cherub…don't be like that.” he sighed, and you imagined him pinching the bridge of his hooked nose.

“He took my money. You took my money. How am I gonna get out of here without it?” You croaked, your tired eyes seeing faces of gaping mouths and slate black eyes in the speckled linoleum of the counter.

No reply came from the door. And when you turned it was empty. He had left. The other man had left. The tv was on again with the scream of a woman murdered. And Luke fell asleep in his lazy boy.

—

Another day, another shift. And more horror ensued. At first, what set the nerves thrumming was there was no sign of Luke. His truck was gone from its spot. No drunk slumped on the worn leather settee. No scream or grotesque image on the TV. Merely an empty bottle on the coffee table.

You swallowed, shutting the door cautiously with a muffled click of the latch. You didn't dare call his name. Just pushed it down into your stomach for it to churn the thought up in acid. But the horror jumped back up your throat into a lurid scream at the sight of your mattress tossed to the side. The moth bitten pillowcase on the floor, void of money. Your money. Gone. Someone had rifled through your belongings. Turned your only space into a mess. Strewn clothes, bed sheets, pillows in their haste. All your work. All the nights of living off bitter coffee from the pot at work, scrounging together tips. It made you seethe. The heat was an inferno at your fingertips, nails embedding crescents into your palms. You searched all over for it. But to no avail.

When Uncle Luke came home, he smelled of hard liquor. It was a miracle – or curse – he hadn't wrapped his car around a tree. He gloated, and sneered, and shoved it down your throat in his intoxication that he’d found it under the mattress. Joel had called him, told him you planned on leaving. And he connected the dots. Ransacked your room. Oh, how the man would hate his loose lips when you gave him hellfire.

You expected Luke’s reaction. You knew if he were to ever find out he’d snatch it up in his greedy, grimy hands and take it for himself. He spent all of it. Paid his debt to Joel, gambled some on bad luck bets, drank with the rest. Slugged liquor down his throat and got drunk off your labour. And then left you on your floor with tear stained cheeks and a heart of heavy lead.

You wanted your money. But would you take from the man who gave you your everything? Your sense of being. A religion and faith. You believed in nothing more than the way he held your name between his teeth. You forgot what your real name felt like in the same place. And it occurred to you that he had never said it. Did he know it? You weren't them anymore. You were Cherub.

The sweet and mourning lamb in you wanted to go over just to be his again, and not carry out the plan of taking back what was yours. That which he would see as sin. You felt guilt claw up your throat at the thought alone. It seemed blasphemous to conspire against him. Why do you insist on protecting yourself. You who was the sacrificial lamb?

If you did go – and you let him have you again – you were whole. But at what cost? Could you stand another night of temporary hell under the guise of heaven. Of touch so cold, like ivory or black ice. To have him thumb your skin with blunt endearments and the croon of ‘cherub’ past his chapped lips. Definite like black and white. No escape. What he’d do and how. Whispering them in the stone deaf shells of your ears like they were a sculpture. Pygmalion’s Bride. He’d made you all you were today. Took chisel to marble and carved out his masterpiece. Cherub.

You were soft, and pliable. Wax heated by his flame. You kissed back. You moaned for him. Begged him for his release and not your own. Bruised with his handprint. The warmth of life under flesh. But without him…you returned to marble. Another pretty thing to be gawked at. He tempted you with it because he knew more than anyone, more than god himself who watches these exchanges, that you can't live without him. It was like telling a child not to slip off to the woods in the dead of night. That was a pointless warning. You knew what lay there anyway, what threat it would be. That wolf in his thick bristled hyde. Curled up in his den. You would see it as innocence and vulnerability if you weren't so scared. But you knew when he woke up the teeth would shine again. And they’d tear flesh. Let blood. Gnash bone. Dripping from the glaring white once he finished with your carcass. Your matter between them and your crimson lacing his gums. Who knew being eaten alive could be so pleasurable.

But then again, how could bering alone really be hell if the devil wasn't there?

There is mania in your body. But you can't get it out. It rattles in your head and lungs and glues to the backs of your gnashers. No matter how much you wish to spit it out. It infects your tongue. It welds itself to the matter of your bones. Melts into the cracks between your teeth. Claggy against your tongue. All to show the sweetest of words have the bitterest of tastes. You can feel it swell underneath your skin. In the gap between muscles where it festers and heats you up. Like fever it burns, like the fire that consumes and the pillars that hold the temple up crack, the ground shakes, and the beast rears its ugly head at you. You’re losing your body to him. It's a fight you try to win. You dare to. You give your all, tooth and nail each time in the gaps between. In the silence and hollow that nestles in the middle of the meetings. In the quiet, where no one is around but the cracked plaster of your room. You stopped caring who fired the gun first. You were always the one who got shot down in the end. Right in the stomach. Blood gurgling up your throat in a grotesque plea for help.

All these weeks you had shrunk yourself to the size of a bird in his hands, sang a sweet sweet song of his name, until the squeeze of his first closest off your throat. And the sound stopped altogether. Laid there after the warning. Patient while you had your wings clipped and your freedom taken. And he took more. Took the beating of your heart with his teeth. Took the will to want. The will to love. The will to need anything else, as well as the need to have better. Below you were the foundations. Only now you saw them for what they were, a decaying mess of fragments, the stench of wood rot hot in your nose. A musk like no other. His musk. So in your anger you took an axe to a willow to see how it would weep. You slipped past the sleeping drunk you call Uncle Luke. Out the door, over gravel, past the truck he coaxed you to without the need of a sweet treat. You’d yank the axe from the bark of the weeping willow, its sob echoing in the wind that rustled its drapery of lush green leaves. Leaves that will wilt as sap bleeds from its severed trunk. Take the axe to the wolf. Cut him. Scrotum to throat.

Take back what was yours. And leave those woods skipping.

—

Your knocks descend upon his door in quick raps until he opened it with a grumble. Then a smirk. “Evenin’, Cherub.”

No salvation. No going back. No space among the clouds. Just the fall. You pushed past him into his front room. “Where is it?’ You hissed, tossing the cushions of the couch up. Nothing there. So you left them on the floor and did the same for the airchair. Nothing there either.

“Woah, calm down, girl!’ Joel huffed, reaching for your arm, which you tugged back from him in a new found strength surging you forward, out of his arms. “Where’s what?”

“My damn money, Miller!” You bit back with venom laced spit. A hunger for revenge making you salivate like a bad dog.

“The fuck you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I'm talking about, dickhead!” And he recoiled at your bared teeth, your verbal assault and battery, but went in for his own.

“Watch your damn foul language, girl!” He warned, reaching the end of his already short tether.

“You know how much he stole from me? Three hundred dollars of my hard earned chash. Forget my fucking ticket out of this shithole, I ain’t even paying rent now! And for what? Your god awful drugs!” His nostrils flared, and you watched the vein in his neck bulge under the sweltering heat of his own anger. Coiling inside him. Wounded bitch about to bite back.

“You didn’t have much of a probelm with my drugs after I fucked that pretty little hole of yours. All dumb and needy f’me, Cherub.” You grimaced at the sneer. But the feeling made your knees buckle. The name again. Cherub. You were Cherub. His cherub. “You want ya money back, huh? You can have it.”

That made you stutter. Thoughts skidding to halt at the sight of a brick wall. Crumpled matter as it smashed into it anyway. “What?”

“I ain't giving it to you for free though.”

“You're sick! It’s my fucking money!”

“Not in the eyes of the law its not.” And he folded his great oaks of arms over his chest in satisfaction. Once again one upping you.

“The eyes of the law? Says the fucking drug dealer. I bet you got way worse than coke in duffel over there. Wonder what the law would say about that?” It was said dismissively over your shoulder as you turned to leave. Alas, once again his large hand encompassed your wrist and squeezed. Pulled you back flush to his broad chest. His breath was hot on your neck as he whispered sweetly into your ear.

“Come on now, Cherub. You wouldn't do me in like that would ya? Not when I love ya…”

The way he said it…it didn't seem real. It was false. Comforting but not real. You knew it was a lie. This wasn't love. He didnt love. If he loved you he'd ask for your number then call you. Take you out. Let you cry on his shoulder and drive you home after. Kiss you in the dark for only the walls to see. Let you stay a night or two, or a whole damn week. Give you your damn money back. Stand up to Luke with a closed fist to the face. Leave swelling and a deep bruise on his cheekbone as a first and final warning.

“You love me?” You asked, voice small and hollow in your chest.

“Yeah, Cherub. I love you too.” He cooed, as if he knew you loved him already. All this and nose running over the curve of the side of your neck, tongue trailing hot in pursuit, it had you keeling over in confession at his feet. “You’re so cute when you're angry. Come on now, lemme make those tears go away…and you can have your money back, and we can forget this ever happened.” That tone…it was patronising. It made the sense in you rattle the cage of your ribs. Claw at the bars of bone and run into them like a caged animal. Because that’s what it was. A caged animal. But your heart was holding its hand over its mouth in a trance as it let his words ebb deeper. Somewhere between desperate and divine. But what was his motive?

God, Jesus, all above that is holy, you didn't care! After all this time, it was still no secret, or hushed uttering that Joel Miller was now everywhere in you. Scraping the backs of your teeth, festering like a virus in your bloodstream. Melding to the marrow of your bones. The walls of your cunt.

He still had a devastating habit of seeping through the cracks of your closed lids. Still ready to pillage and plunder his way through your head in its numbed state of sleep. When you could have finally— finally stopped and not felt. But he ebbs deeper. Always would. Always will.

It's what got you here. It would end you if it could. Snuff out your heartbeat and the fire inside of you. All he need do was lick his fingers and press them to the wick. And leave the smoke to string out and curl. You thought you were hungry for love before. But now you realised you were just hungry for the sight of your blood on his lips. The gnashing of you between his teeth. The curl you made of his brow. If it wasn’t devastating, reaping its agony in your silly little fractured chest— you didn’t dare need, nor crave it. You came for the pleasure but you stayed for the pain. And he took again, and again.

So you let him ‘make it up to you’. Let him claw at your clothes until they were scraps on the floor. Tore your stockings. Showed you those gleaming teeth. The wolf. And you, his sacrificial lamb. His Cherub.

“Feel that?’ He asked, with the slow drag back and forth of him inside you, parting you. This wasn’t fast, or rough. This was slow. And it made you need more. Need it faster. Need him hurtling you towards the edge of harrowing oblivion. He knew that. It’s why he took his time with it this time around. “Yeah. You do.” Joel answered for you. You never had to answer. But often he made you say it from your own quivering lips. Just to have the taste of the words from your tongue bleed into his. The neverending praise. “Why would you wanna leave that Cherub?” You couldn't answer, only let out a soft sob. “Huh? Answer me, Cherub. Why’d you wanna fuckin’ leave that?” And he punctuated it with pulling out to the bulbous head of his clock, then slamming back in with one sharp thrust. And then he was still.

You whined a shallow gasp into his mouth. But he didn’t kiss you. Joel never kissed you. His teeth sinking into your bottom lip shut you right up before his tongue delved deeper into it. The thumb of the hand that slithered between your legs rolled over your clit, making you mewl over the buzz of electricity causing you to clamp down on his thick, full cock. You were so eager for more. Anything more than what he was giving you. He smirked into your mouth when he felt your hips buck forward, trying your damn hardest to push his cock deeper into you. Silly little cherub. You should know better than to defy God. “See? Felt good didn’t it?” You nodded as much as you could in your current piston.

“Mhm.”

“See what you can have if you stay. Why fight it cherub?”

“Yes, Joel.”

“You gonna listen then, Cherub?”

“Yes. Yes! I’ll listen, just-” You shuddered at the thought of it, tears brimming at the the threshold of your eye. ”Please.”

“Say it.” He waited, wanting you to beg for it in the pretty way he knew you could. The choir voice. The songbirds hymn. The whole time his eyes did nothing but stare you down hungry at the sight of you falling apart from nothing but a hand to your throat and a single his throbbing dick buried in your aching cunt. It all pooled down into your centre, creating a rush your head had trouble keeping up with. “Tell me why you wanted to leave.”

“I dunno-” You stuttered, once again rolling your hips up. His hand at your throat pressed into your skin again, harder. It choked you. It had you drawing in a sharp, meagre breath. And he pulled out, running the underside of himself through the hot, drooling seam of your cunt. You shivered when the tip brushed up to your clit momentarily. The bead of precome at his slit smearing into your sex, mixing with your slick. “I dunno, Joel. I- I just wanted my money. I just wanted out. I hate it.” You babbled through closed eyes, chest heaving with sobs, and hot tears ran thick down your flushed cheeks.

“You hate it, huh?” He mocked and crooned, still catching your clit with the tip of his cock, hips waxing and waning in a slow roll. “You hate me too?” He knew the answer. But again, it was the satisfaction of knowing you were wrapped around his finger. Ready to bend over backwards for him. Him seeping into you through the cracks of your ribs, the gaps between your teeth. The opening of yourself to the twisting knot of denial within you. Your back arched like the lofty roof of a chapel, legs parting like its heavy doors. He followed you with hunger. You opened your mouth to speak but he squeezed momentarily on your throat again, oxygen starvation and the smell of him dizzying you. He relished in the whimper that he garnered from you. That and how he left you breathless just from his cruel touch.

“No.” You garbled as his thumb unhinged your jaw. Saliva in your mouth pooling while his thumb pressed your tongue down, bitter with a smokers telltale tobacco staining. It slipped past your lips, dribbled down his digits making a sticky mess at the curve of his thick wrist. He drew up a glob of saliva in his throat, watching as it drooled thickly, gluttonously, past his lips into your waiting mouth. He watched as you gagged on it, and then he let your jaw go so you could close your mouth. You swallowed eagerly, savouring the taste on your tongue. For what did it matter anymore? One day, you’ll be nothing but dust. Bronchioles in lungs will mimic roots. Navels will copy trunks. Organs will feed worms. Ribs will fossilise and lips that are kissed will mould back to Mother Nature. It's all you have ever been. Quick. Convenient. Easy to please, eager to help. Waiting lips, wanting cunt. Warm, never warm enough. But he kept you like a butterfly in a glass jar. He let you see freedom but never experience it. Why need it when you had the stretch of him inside you. The feeling of him, heat to heat with your sex.

“You want this, cherub? Wanna be stuffed full of me again?”

“Always wanted it, Joel.” You mumbled into his mouth, sniffing back the last this spurt of tears, hypnotised. His hand wrapped around his cock, the large splay of his palm did nothing to dwarf its size with he jacked himself once, twice, three times to the sight of you. He squeezed the base with hiss, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth after cursing under his bated breath. He was thick, flushed, the tip swollen and leaking, drooling greedily with a rivulet of precum down the underside of his length. He trod a path with his hands down to your breasts, kneading each one between his palms with a pinch before guiding himself back into the mouth of your heat, your cunt swallowing him down to the base. The needy roll of your hips into his showed just how desperate you were. He groaned at the start of the friction between you, and slowly dragged back out of you, moving just as slowly back inside. He repeated this twice, and then he let loose. The motion turned into a needy clash of his hips to yours. Again. Again. Again. Somewhere along the sting of passion and heat, his hand wrapped around your throat, feeling the flex of it as you swallowed under his palm. He bit down into your neck, reaching out from you as his hips slammed erratically. His heavy balls slapping against your ass with each rut forward of his unrelenting. The way he fucked you, was like holding a knife to your throat. It grounded you in the most harrowing way to each of his breaths. His panting in your ear. It swallowed you whole. Mad your legs wrap around his waist and your hips keen up into him.

Your cunt drooled down his shaft, down to the base, down the sensitive skin of his cock. He growled and hissed in your ear, teeth closing around your earlobe, his hand dragging back up and grip tightening around your neck. Getting off on the feeling of your pulse under his thumb.

You felt the knot tighten. And tighten. Right in the pit of your stomach, deep in your sopping wet cunt where the mouth of your cervix met his fucking. The walls of your cunt sucking him back in as the angle of his hips snapped up into the spot that had you seeing entire constellations. They darted to and fro across your vision. It blurred the edge, spots of dark matter, deep black, the colour of oblivion slinging over the back of your eyes that now burned with tears of pleasure. His fingers dug deeper into malleable flesh, gripped tightly at your hip with his free hand, thumb brushing over your hip bone down your mound to toy with your clit after a slap to it. And it was the action that sent you spiralling, babbling his name nonsensically among a string of curse words. So pretty and fucked out beneath him. Joel couldn’t help but stare smugly as your eyes rolled back into your head when your orgasm hit like a freight train. He came undone soon after, his climax hitting a crescendo with a growl bitten into your shoulder, bruising and brandishing you with his mark again.

He pulled back, leaving you to the mercy of the cold. Watching was his hips moved again to fuck his release back into you. Your hole quivered in protest, and you squirmed under him. “Don’t be fucking ungreatful now, Cherub.” You relented, going still and boneless on the mattress. Limbs unfurling from their tension. “That's it. Take it. Take it all.” He groaned smoothly. Just like the roll of his hips. He fucked it slowly back into you. And you took his release inside you to keep. “Good girl, Cherub.” He whispered, kissing your lips in a tender dichotomy. Not letting you rest until he was satisfied you took every drop of him. Afterall, it was all you’d have left of him until he next chose to pick you up. All the while, he trailed his tongue back down to your breasts, pressing the flat of it to your nipple, drawing it with a sharp suck into his mouth. Pressing the blunt of his teeth into your flesh. Letting the taste melt on his tongue. Salty with your sweat. He did the same to the others. When he went soft inside of you, and his hips stilled. He slipped out of you with hitched breath, the pad of his fingertips tracing your abused, used sex. Your legs twitching when he rolled your clit under two fingers. “I said stop squirming.” He grunted, landing another slap to your pussy. It made an obscene wet sound. His come dribbling out slowly.

“Open your mouth.” Joel commanded, and you did. Waiting for whatever he had planned. He licked a hot strip from your asshole to your cunt, pressing his tongue in to drag out some of his release. And he climbed back up to spit it into your mouth. A hand clamping down on your jaw. “Don’t swallow. Close your mouth.” And you did with the side of his thumb clamping it shut for you. “Taste that?” You nodded in response. It was hot, heavy and thick and salty to taste. Divine. “Show me.” You opened again, his creamy spend diluted amongst your saliva and he smirked. Clamping your jaw shut again. “Swallow.”

Joel watched in open mouthed amusement as the delicate column of your throat rippled under muscle contract. “Good girl, Cherub. Remember that taste next time y’feel like leaving again.” He warned in a growl. And you nodded, swallowing your pride. Your fear. Your mania aiding in shoving it down your throat to dissolve in acid. Once again you were in those deep dark woods. The one where the wolf lay. Remnants of you in his teeth. The willow is still weeping, slashed in half. The axe free of his bloodshed by the entrance of his den. The owls' eyes still lit the scene of sin where overhead the starlight was snuffed out by the tangle of branches thick in their black greenery.

You never got your money back. Maybe one day you'd get out of this town. But the devil has a funny habit of making you want your own suffering. Even angels can’t resist a slice of that heaven. Fallen angel. Wounded bitch. Cherub.

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x y/n #joel miller x you #joel miller x #the last of us #the last of us fic #joel miller fanfiction #joel miller smut #joel miller fic #tlou hbo #the last of us hbo #joel tlou #lu’s little bookshelf #joel the last of us #tlou #tlou fanfiction #pedro pascal #dealer!joel #joel x reader #tlou fic #the last of us fanfiction #joel x reader smut #joel miller tlou

[bettyfrommars]

hi loves

a wee announcement/bit of reflection below the cut

nothing heavy, just some thoughts & updates

First of all, I want to say I love this fandom so much. Truly I do. It has carried me though possibly the hardest, loneliest year of my life (and this ol' girl has been though some dark times). I've made friendships here that I hope to cherish for the rest of my life.

I came into fanfiction in October of last year, after not writing anything substantial for almost a decade. My dear friend at the time said she was looking for a specific Eddie Munson story, so I wrote it for her. I wrote it in first person because I didn't even understand how "reader perspective" was a thing, that's how wet behind the ears I was to this world. My friend, on the other hand, is a well-versed fic reader, and I distinctly remember messaging her like, "okay, what the hell is a Y/N??"

I spent that entire dark, cold winter writing and passing it to her in parts like notes in a classroom. The rush of getting back to something I loved so deeply after so much time away turned me into a monster. I lived and breathed that story. We sent endless messages back and forth every day about what each character would do next, imagining ourselves in that world, with Eddie. We made playlists, we cried. We screamed and giggled and kicked our feet when they finally kissed. We mourned the loss when it ended and moped around a bit before going back to read it all over again. Some 40k words and four months later I realized, holy shit, I think I write fanfiction now?

In a way, fanfiction saved my life. It brought me back to a part of myself I had buried, a part of me that worried it might never see the light of day again. It came crawling out of the ground, gasping for air like, "you better stretch your fingers bitch because I have a lot to say."

In April, I started posting here when the fandom was notably beginning to wane, but I was happy to see there were so many still going hard for our man. I kinda creeped in, like a little scuttling crab, and was grateful to find that a handful of you embraced me.

Long story short, I am NOT leaving, not at all. I know the tone is there, but that is not what this is, lmao. I will hopefully keep this blog for as long as you will have me. I plan to finish writing I'm on Fire and Death Becomes Us, as well as maybe another bit for gargoyle!Eddie, and nightmare!Eddie, but the other series I've started (or planned to start) will stay on hiatus for a while, possibly forever. I will continue to post blurbs and hc's and whatnot, but I won't be committing to any new series or long fics.

My masterlists will remain intact for the time being for those who want to enjoy what is there. That being said, The Nightmare Factory and Stop the World and Melt with You, might be taken down in the future only because I plan to re-work them into original stories. I have a second non-fandom blog in the works that is dedicated to monsters, nightmares, and magic realism, and I will let those who are interested know about it when the time comes.

Mostly, I wanted to let you know that, even if you notice some changes, I will continue to persist with "My 2 Joe's" delulu era, possibly until the earth swallows me up. I am no longer taking requests, but my asks will always be open for thots, blurbs, obsessions, etc. You know how much I love hearing from you.

That's all really. Perhaps this is simply one of those "end of year" thought dumps, but I also wanted to say a heartfelt Thank You to those who continue to support me, enjoy my work, and share it. My Ride or Die monsterfuckers and biker Eddie enthusiasts. My nightmare Eddie dreamers, my Twilight Zone Eddie pineapple heads. My gargoyle Eddie romantics who cheer on our Stone Boy, and my Hybrid Steve lovers who leave their windows open at night. My True Blood friends who appreciate a vampire Eddie who is nothing like Bill Compton. My darlings, my fellow rebel rousers and misfits, my friends.

This is a very symbiotic relationship, and I could not/would not do this without you ❤️

#Betty thoughts #delulu for life

[eloquentreverie]

𝑨𝑳𝑾𝑨𝒀𝑺 𝑶𝑵 𝑴𝒀 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑫

warnings: 18+ content. minors dni! p in v sex, angst, slight knife kink if you squint, soft!dark! lloyd, non-con that slowly turns into dub-con, kidnapping, slight dacryphilia.

pairing: soft!dark! lloyd hansen x ex-girlfriend!reader

summary: After a painful breakup, Lloyd Hansen kidnaps his ex-girlfriend, seeking both her affection and the satisfaction of getting even for her betrayal. Will she be able to escape his clutches, or will Lloyd get the last laugh?

prompt: 16: in a private jet,  on the way to a business trip. 

author’s note: anon, I hope you enjoy this! I loved writing this and kind of got carried away with the word count! Also I tried my best to make this soft!dark.

listen to the playlist | library | read on ao3

Lloyd Hansen is whipped. It’s not something he’s willing to admit. And he’s not going to. At least, not yet. He had been with a lot of women throughout the years but none of them left a mark the way she did. It’s been about a month since the two of them broke up. And he still can’t get her out of his head. It’s infuriating! She’s all he can think or dream about. She’s becoming a nuisance. He can barely focus on his current mission. And to him, it’s all her fault.

He drops everything mid way through his flight. He demands the pilots alter the course to pick her up. There’s no way he’s going to be able to finish this mission without Y/N. And he’s positive once he has her, everything will be fine. He’s smiling, just thinking of all the sick things he has planned for her. He wants her to pay. Sure, maybe he would think differently if it had been his idea to break up but no, it had been hers.

When they land the plane at the local airport, Lloyd recognizes the town as if he were born and raised there. He has been obsessed with Y/N ever since she ended their relationship. At first, he struggled to cope, pushing her out of his mind and trying to move on, but Y/N was ever-present, like an unlucky penny. He tried everything to get over her but she kept coming back to haunt him, leaving him with an unquenchable thirst for her.

By the time he reached her house, the sun had set and everything was going according to plan. A couple of his men suggested that they would handle the situation but Lloyd insisted - he wanted to be the one to capture and abduct Y/N. It was only fair, after the months of pain and suffering she had caused him. He was determined to make her pay.

As he crept into her tiny home, avoiding the creaky floorboards, he felt anxiety wash over him. But then Y/N's scent hit him like a wave - a mix of vanilla and lavender that left him aching for more. He was careful and precise, his movements graceful and silent, like a hunter stalking his prey. He wanted her, and he was going to get her, no matter what. The thought of her in his power made him grin, a sick, twisted smirk that didn't leave his face. He was finally going to make her pay for breaking his heart.

Lloyd remembers the last time they spoke like it was yesterday. It had replayed in his mind like a broken record, forever on loop and torturing his soul.

Y/N stormed into her house, Lloyd hot on her heels. He slammed the door behind them, "What the hell were you doing with him?!" He seethed. His hands were clenched into fists, and his eyes narrowed as he glared at her.

She whirled to face him, and her anger boiled up inside. "For the last time, we were just talking!" She slammed her purse on the couch. "Oh my god!" Her voice rose to a yell, "I can't do this! You're jealous all the fucking time, and I can't do this anymore!"

His jaw clenched, and his hands rested on his hips. "So just like that? You can't just walk out of my life like this!" The anger dripping from his words was palpable.

"You think I want this?" Y/N shouted back. "I don't! But it's gotten to a point where I can't breathe! You're suffocating me!" She felt her heart breaking, but knew she had to stand up for herself. "Please, just leave Lloyd."

Her words seemed to cut him deep, and he looked hurt. Something in Y/N's stomach twisted, and she knew that this was the end. They couldn't keep going on like this.

Her last words echoed in the space between them, and Y/N knew that she had made the right decision. Their relationship had been unhealthy, and it was time for both of them to move on. She watched as Lloyd left her house, and a small sense of peace washed over her. It would be hard, but she knew she would be okay. She was strong, and she was ready to face whatever came next.

He’s pulled from his thoughts the moment he sees her as he enters the bedroom, moving close to the walls to remain hidden in the shadows. His lips curl into a sly smile as he takes in the sight of Y/N swaying in the bathroom, still in her pajamas, humming to herself and finishing her skin routine at the mirror. Y/N’s breath catches in her chest at the sight of him in her reflection, her heart pounding, frozen in place.

He takes a step closer, the cold steel of the knife pressed against her neck, his free hand wrapped around her waist. With a wicked grin stretching across his features, he takes a deep breath, his nose trailing down her throat, eliciting a shudder down her spine. Her mind races, searching for a way out of this, but she can’t move, can’t think. She’s trapped, and they both know it. “Did you miss me, Princess?” he whispers in her ear. 

The moment feels like it stretches on endlessly, each beat of her heart pounding in her chest as he holds her in his grip. She can hear his hot breath on her neck, and feels a sense of dread wash over her as he speaks in a voice dripping with malice. "You're coming with me," he says in an unforgiving tone. She knows she has no choice but to be at his mercy, trapped in his grasp with no way to escape.

Lloyd can hear her heavy breaths and feels the sweat dripping down her neck. He can see the slight tremble in her body as her back presses against his firm chest, and it only adds to his sick delight, knowing that she's already fearful of him. When she doesn't speak, he follows up his earlier threat by trailing the flat part of his knife against her chest, adding to the terror that now courses through her veins.

 The cool touch of the blade against her skin sent chills up her spine, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end and goosebumps cover her arms. "Now," Lloyd breathed out, stopping the knife just above the neckline of her top and between the valley of her breasts.

 "Are you going to be a good girl, or are we going to do this my way?" His voice carried a sinister edge that was impossible to ignore. It was as if he was daring her to do the wrong thing, to give him a reason to hurt her.

Y/N swallowed hard, feeling a sense of fear grip her heart. She knew this situation was delicate and that Lloyd was unstable. She could feel his anger radiating off of him, and hear it in the bitterness of his voice. "Lloyd, you don't have to do this," she whispered, fighting hard to keep her voice steady. 

She felt a sense of panic rise within her as Lloyd's hand gripped her jaw. She knew that she had to stay calm and try to talk him down, but the fear was overwhelming, and she could feel her heart pounding in her chest. She tried to take slow, deep breaths to steady herself, but it was difficult with Lloyd's hot breath on her face. She hoped that somehow she could diffuse the situation before it escalated further.

But she knew the stakes were high, that this was a dangerous game she was playing, and one wrong word might set him off. She had to try to diffuse the tension, to find a way out of this mess before it was too late.

Lloyd's knife clicked and retracted into his pocket without another word. He chuckled darkly and pushed her against the wall of the bathroom, causing her to choke out a gasp. Grabbing her hips, he turned her to face him. His gloved hand gripped her jaw, squeezing it with a firm grasp but not enough to leave a bruise.

"I do, sweetheart," Lloyd seethed, his voice laced with venom and anger. "You've made my life a living hell, and you're going to pay for it," he continued, his dark eyes boring into her own, daring her to defy him. His breath was hot against her face, and she could feel his rage emanating from him in waves.

Y/N winced under his harsh grasp, feeling the rough texture of his glove against her skin, evoking a small whimper from her lips. Her heart raced as he started to reach into his pocket, her eyes darted from his heated gaze to his hand that was now reaching into his back pocket. “C-can’t we just talk about this?” She stuttered out, her lip now trembling.

He let out a dark, sadistic chuckle, enjoying how her fear made him more determined and hungry for her. “Oh, sunshine, the time for talking is way past due,” he said with a twist of his lips, his hand slipping down to her throat and causing her to gasp. She instinctively struggled against his hold, fear flooding her heart before he pulled out a cloth and covered her mouth, her vision blurring as she slipped into unconsciousness.

–

Y/N awoke to a slight chill in the air, feeling the soft texture of the luxurious bed against her bare arms. She licked her dry lips as she strained her wrists in her bonds, feeling the slight burn from the friction. Her eyes fluttered open, adjusting to her new surroundings; the small circular window showcasing a nighttime sky filled with stars, and the steady hum of the plane's engines.

But what caught her eye were the sleek, dark gray walls, contrasting sharply against the marble floor and the narrow and sleek design of the plane. A modern style fit for a king, yet Y/N felt a slight familiarity to it, as if she had been here before. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks, and her heart threatened to stop. She was on Lloyd's private jet.

Her heart pounds against her ribcage as she hears loud footsteps coming down the narrow hallway. Lloyd enters the room and stands in front of her, his figure towering over her. The tense silence between them is thick with fear, and Y/N's body trembles in anticipation of what was to come. She had no idea how she ended up here, or what Lloyd's intentions were, but she knew one thing for sure: she had to find a way off this plane.

“Well, well, well, look who’s finally awake,” Lloyd said with a twisted smile, his eyes watching her carefully, a hint of mockery in his tone.

"Is this some kind of sick joke? I'm not amused," Y/N says, her voice filled with frustration and irritation as she meets Lloyd's eyes with a piercing stare, the words coming out in a challenging tone.

"Oh, sweetheart. This isn't a joke at all. I'm quite serious." A mischievous grin played on his lips as he took a step closer, his calloused fingers roughly gripping her chin. He leaned down to whisper in her ear, his hot breath tickling her skin. She felt like her heart was racing at his closeness.

"You've been quite the distraction," he admitted, his voice low and seductive. She could feel his body heat radiating against hers as he spoke, his breath fanning her ear. It sent shivers down her scalp and raised the hairs on her neck. His thumb traces the outline of her jaw before he touches her bottom lip, tugging it down slightly. “So, you see, there’s only one thing left to do.” He adds, his voice low and husky as his blue eyes locked with hers, laced with a familiar desire and hungriness that she’s seen before.

She swallows hard, a determined look on her face despite the warm sensation building in her lower stomach. She's determined to stand up for herself, even if all she can do is yell. "Don't touch me!", she spits out, straining against her restraints once more.

Lloyd snickers, grabbing her by the throat and digging his fingers in. "Oh, Y/N," he purrs, letting go of her neck before turning her and shoving her down onto the plush mattress. She hits the bed with a thud, her cheeks pressed against the soft covers as the air escapes her lungs. Lloyd steps back, his fingers still curled into a fist as he looks down at her.

The silence between them is thick with tension, the only sounds coming from her breathing and the soft rustling of the sheets. He leans forward again, hovering his face inches from hers. She can feel his body heat against her, and the warmth radiating off his skin is palpable. His breath is hot and stale in her face, and she can see his pupils dilating in the low light.

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh?" he hisses, his words barely loud enough to be heard.

She's too afraid to move, frozen in place by the threat in his voice. She knows that one wrong word, one false move, could escalate the situation into something beyond her control. The fear is written all over her face, and she strains even harder against her restraints, trying to break free. The rope stings as it digs and rubs against her skin. But it's no use - Lloyd has complete control of the situation.

Lloyd lets out a sharp laugh, his eyes fixed on her with a mixture of amusement and cruelty. As she struggles against him, her attempts to break free seem only to egg him on. He grabs hold of her pants, grinning widely as he pulls them down.

Her eyes widen in shock, and she tries to scoot away, still trying to get her bearings. Her heart thuds in her chest as the sound of a zipper being lowered reaches her ears. Tears pool in the corners of her eyes as the reality of what’s  happening sets in. She doesn’t want to believe it, doesn’t want to think that Lloyd could be capable of such a thing.

Her voice becomes a choked whisper, and she shakily tries to  reason with him, “L-lloyd, please… don’t do this!”

He only laughs again, his grin growing wider as he leans down once again, his lips against the shell of her ear. The smell of his breath is hot and thick on her cheek, making her stomach churn. She continues to squirm, desperate to get away, her body tensed and her breath coming short gasps. She’s never felt so vulnerable and scared in her entire life, and she can’t believe that she’s in this situation with a man she used to trust.

Her heart aches, and tears continue to stream down her face as she comes to a terrifying realization… that she’s at the mercy of a man who has no mercy. 

“Lloyd, don’t…” Y/N sobs as she feels him grab her hips again, forcing her to bend her knees. “Oh, sweetheart ,” he purrs at the sight of her bare cunt. “I’m going to enjoy this.” He grips the shaft of his cock, pressing the wet tip against her slick folds. He looks down at her with a self satisfied grin before shoving himself in one swift motion. He doesn’t care to let her walls stretch around him. The burning sensation mixes with a sensation of pleasure  as she chokes out a gasp. 

More tears stream down her cheeks as her body betrays her, slick drips down her thighs. She doesn’t want to feel this way but she can’t deny how good this feels as he pounds into her, his cock so deep she can feel every inch of him. He’s not soft or gentle. Lloyd grunts, his fingertips digging into skin of her hips. She's sure he’s gonna leave a mark. “What’s wrong, pumpkin? Can’t take it?” He mocks with a rough thrust into her that sends her gasping, a soft moan escaping her lips.

Y/N clenches her hands into fists, wishing she could hold onto something–anything. But all she can do is lay there and take it. Her cheek still pressed against the sheets, ass up in the air as she feels his hips snapping  against her ass. “H-hate you. S-so much!” She whimpers, squeezing her eyes shut as her cunt clenches around him. 

“No. You hate that you like it.” He retorts, a smirk on his lips. When he bends down to untie the rope  binding her wrists, a wave of relief washes over her. The pressure on her skin eases, and she can move her hands for the first time in hours. But even with her wrists free, the intensity of Lloyd’s touch remains intense. She grips the sheets tightly, holding back a soft moan as he continues at a brutal pace. Despite her efforts to muffle it, she knows he hears her, and there’s a hint of amusement in his expression.

“That’s it, baby. Give in. Y/N. You’ve been craving this, haven’t you? Missed my cock filling you up?” When she doesn’t answer, he growls, leaning forward and pulling her back with his fist in her hair. Her back comes in contact with his chest, his hand slipping from her hair and wrapping tightly around her waist. The next thing she felt was his lips trailing over her shoulder, his thrusts never relenting.  

His mouth trails sloppy kisses up her neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin as his hands trail over the thin fabric of her tank before he pulls it down, revealing her bare breasts to the cool air of the plane. A low groan slips past his lips as her tits bounce as he speeds up. “You’re mine, you hear me?” He grumbles into her ear. “Mine. Never gonna let you go.” Without another word, Lloyd begins kneading her breasts, making her gasp. “You like that, don’t you? C’mon, sweetheart. I wanna hear you say it.”

He craved her; that was a fact. It didn’t matter what she thought about him, how much she despised him, or how desperately she tried to ignore the desire that burned within her. He had a hold on her, and he knew it. “I’m yours.” Y/N breathed out before closing her eyes as she felt her walls clench around him. That was enough for Lloyd. He’d been trying his best to stay in control this whole time but he couldn’t wait any longer. With his right hand, he gripped her chin, pressing his lips against hers fervently. 

There was nothing sweet or short about the kiss, his hips grinding deep into her cunt, making her moan against his mouth. “That’s right. You’re mine, sweetheart. Forever.” His hand fists her hair once more, pulling her against his chest tighter and kissing her neck. His balls throbbing every time he felt her clench around him. Lloyd groaned as he felt his body tense before his cum spilled out of her.

He gently laid her back down on the bed, leaning down to give her a soft kiss on the forehead. “Sleep well, pumpkin. I’ll be back shortly.” He whispered, pulling up his pants and shoving himself back in his slacks. He grabbed a blanket, watching as her breathing slowed down and her eyes fluttered shut. Lloyd gave her one last look before he strided down the hallway, preparing to land and take out his next target.

banners credit: @.saradika & @.fic-dumpster

#soft!dark! fic #lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen x you #lloyd hansen x female reader #lloyd hansen x y/n #lloyd hansen fanfic #lloyd hansen fanfiction #lloyd hansen oneshot #dark fic #lloyd hansen smut

[diseaseriddencube]

My Hazbin Song Rankings

Sometimes I only enjoy small sections of a song, but if those sections are good enough it can still rank higher than a song with a high percentage of decent sections.

Hell’s Greatest Dad: there's parts I don't like much but the song still gets 10/10 from me. The beginning segment for Lucifer and Alastor are my absolute favorite. After that it gets a little eh? I wish that fiddle moment went on for a second longer. Alastor's second section is more like 7/10. Mimzy is...yeah

Poison: 10/10 perfectly solid, no parts I dislike, while I prefer Angel's pilot va more in general, this guy does a good job especially for the songs. The song's catchy, no interrupted or talking sections, the animation for it is also very nice.

Hell Is Forever: 7/10 I like this one, Adam's chorus is absolutely a banger. the sections in between the chorus are more like 5/10, this one's in my playlist

Stayed Gone: 4/10 for the song as a whole, but the actual singing segments get a 7/10 for me, it just bothers me that half the song is talking rather than actual singing. I like Vox's voice, and Alastor plays well in contrast. The tune is nice and catchy, and the ending is perfectly sinister. That's the tea~ (this is in my playlist, with cropped out sections)

INSIDE OF EVERY DEMON IS A RAINBOW: the better beginning song from Charlie, 6.5/10. it's fairly catchy actually but it's not my favorite by a mile

Respectless: 6/10, Carmilla's got a nice powerful voice but Velvette's sections are the part I enjoy, it's a decent song but it won't go in my playlist.

Finale: the majority of the song gets like. 3/10. don't love it. the 25 seconds from the Vs get an 11/10 why couldn't the entire song be this good 😭 Alastor's part from a song perspective is maybe 4/10, as a scene it's a 10/10, but we're ranking the music alone here.

Loser, Baby: 6/10, I like the older style, the beginning part doesn't have appeal but I like the swing of the chorus. Husk's voice in general ain't my favorite but it's alright for this genre. Angel doesn't sound great in this one. Not going in my playlist but I like it well enough.

Happy Day In Hell: solid beginning song, very disney princess. It's not quite my thing, but it's catchy enough and doesn't bore me. 6/10 it ain't bad. wouldn't go in my playlist but I like it well enough

Inside of every demon, is a lost cause: a pilot song, any Alastor song may get a biased ranking, this gets like 5.5/10 though, it never really got my attention much as a song.

Out For Love: 5/10 eh, nothing about it I particularly hate, but it's forgettable and not doing anything for me. didn't need to be a song.

You Didn’t Know: the beginning sucks so bad, stop saying Sera you're pissing me off 😩 Sera's voice ain't doing it for me. Lute's beginning is where it starts getting better. maybe because they're reprising the much better Hell Is Forever. Charlie and Emma's duet is quite badass though. 5/10

Welcome To Heaven: 3/10, catchy but forgettable. didn't need to be here.

More Than Anything: put it away please. 3/10, it's fine I'm just really bored of it, if it wasn't 3 whole minutes long maybe I'd be more okay with it

More Than Anything (Reprise): just put. it. away. please!!!!

Ready For This: 3/10 I'm just bored, nothing wrong with it. forgettable. 5/10 for that little alastor/rosie section, I love their little dance too.

It Starts With Sorry: ugh. 2/10 I wouldn't put this on my playlist at all. it's slow and sappy and uuuuggghhh this did NOT need to be a song, bad viewer experience

Whatever It Takes: 2/10 put this shit away, this didn't need to be a song, it's so boring ahhhhhhh, Carmilla doesn't even sound great in some parts of this. it just goes onnnnnn and oooooonnnn. Vaggie's singing voice bothers me because she doesn't sound like herself, I honestly though she had a separate singing va

#rave ramblees #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel spoilers #long post

[avionvadion]

One, really love the drabble regarding El and Lucifer. Especially since you can tell Lucifer is struggling to stay in the moment, but Elanora is doing a pretty good job keeping him grounded in reality. Which works out in his favor because that actively lets him start writing the letter instead of giving up before he even starts.

Two, I admit it. Whilst I know the circumstances probably won't let it happen, I can totally see El joining in on Ellie and Charlie's duet during "You Didn't Know" (maybe she was dragged along so she can guilt trip the higher ups of Heaven lol) because sure, she may not be able to come up with lyrics on the spot, but I can see her being able to join in on that sort of thing. And, well, considering everything revealed at Heaven El would be justified in getting a bit angry at Sera alongside Ellie and Charlie-

Alsjslsjlaksks thank youuuu! 💕💕💕

I struggled so hard trying to write Lucifer a song. El was going to sing a song that followed the line of “trust me” but I couldn’t find one outside of FnaF and Jungle Book (oh the irony there) before scrolling through my old middle school Sound Cloud playlist and was like, wait. Holy frick. Lost Within fits Luci so well???? And thus that happened, lol.

Anyways! Sorry. I ramble.

Luci’s brain is so scrambled, he needs someone to pull him back sometimes. I imagine there ends up being a few moments when he and El are together and he starts to get so distant it actually starts to scare her, and she ends up grabbing his arm- surprising him and snapping him out of his spiraling mind- to make sure he doesn’t just… disappear.

And for sure El would go with them. Charlie will be using her to be like, “All the Sinners at the hotel have been protecting this poor, innocent soul that was wrongly summoned to Hell! She’s been helping me redeem them, one step at a time!”

Heaven is absolutely going to lose their shit because WHAT DO YOU MEAN A HUMAN WAS SUMMONED INTO HELL!??? Emily would be ecstatic while Sera is just… no longer functioning.

They probably try to convince her to stay in Heaven instead since she’s so “pure hearted” or whatever and it’d be safer for her, but El is like, “Haha sorry I promised Lucifer a thing so I gotta stay” and they’re like “LUCIFER!??? WHAT PROMISE!???” “Ah, well, he said he’d protect me if I give him advice about some stuff and I kinda gotta be in Hell for that…” and Adam just fucking loses it. “BITCH YOU’RE STAYING IN HELL FOR THAT FUCKING LOSER???” “That loser’s ex wife used to be YOUR wife, dude” “SHUT THE FUCK UP, STAY IN HELL. HOPE YOU DIE TOMORROW AND TURN INTO A DEMON SO I CAN EXTERMINATE YOU NEXT WEEK”

(Adam immediately gets smacked upside the head by Sera)

I think by that point in time, El has been in Hell for so long she can participate in songs- but she can’t burst out singing with one of her own. Also maybe her relationship with Lucifer comes into a play a bit, since he’s magic (ancient magic, specifically) and… well…

Being repeatedly exposed to magic would certainly start letting one be affected by it, right? Haha… ha… ahem. Maybe she isn’t wholly human anymore after a while. El may not have fallen or died, but giving oneself to the literal King of Hell, former archangel or not, isn’t about to let you stay Human. 👀

Anyways. Yeah. El would be pissed and would probably throw shade at the angel council that, while Hell may be full of horrors, the people there are at least honest- something Angels are supposed to be- and have gone out of their way to make her feel welcome, whereas Heaven is full of hypocrites and assholes like Adam who just make her uncomfortable.

“If Hell is forever then Heaven must be a lie! If Angels can do whatever and remain in the sky!” Ellie hops up on the table behind Emily and Charlie. “The rules are shades of gray, when you don’t do as you say! When you make the wretched suffer just to kill them again!”

Hell is Forever is such a freaking bop though oh my gods. You Didn’t Know a masterful reprise of it.

I’m obsessed with Loser, Baby though. It’s so swingy and jazzy and UGH. It’s so good.

#hazbin hotel oc #hazbin hotel lucifer #hazbin hotel #Avion answers #hazbin hotel spoilers

[roo-bastmoon]

The odds we faced, with FACE

Just as a reminder for the record:

Antis and cult members began systematically targeting Jimin-focused accounts two weeks before his Set Me Free Pt. 2 prerelease, resulting in some key, experienced ARMY getting suspended right when their wisdom and fanbase alerts were needed most.

Ramadan meant that practicing Muslim ARMY could not listen to music during the release time.

The stores ran out of pre-orders multiple times.

Most physicals shipped on time, but some did not. It was a challenge for Target to keep physicals in stock.

We got less than 0.1% radio play, practically nothing in the US at all, it wasn't even a request option for any station that feeds Hot 100.

True OT7s also had On the Street, Smoke Sprite, and People Pt. 2 to support.

Jimin had only 10 uninterrupted days to promote his first solo album. No blame, no shade, I am just saying it's been a challenge for our artists that their timelines are condensed and overlapping like this due to military service.

Fake ARMY boycotted Jimin altogether and came up with bullshit reasons to attack Jimin funders.

Antis dragged Jimin to hell and back online because of a technical in-ears issue that resulted in 10 seconds of a less-than-perfect live encore performance.

Spotify froze streams.

YouTube froze and deleted MILLIONS of streams, not just for Jimin but for all of BTS and ONLY BTS, with no explanation whatsoever.

Other Kpop stans and Jimin-akgaes joined forces to mass vote against him in MCountdown out of pure spite for him topping Hot 100.

His own media began commenting in articles on his inevitable free fall.

The haters also started up again mass-reporting his Insta account to continue his shadow-ban and try to get him suspended.

All that, and Jimin has beat such odds that his success is untouchable.

So I just need to say this...

It has been an exhausting three weeks, filled with extreme highs and lows.

Whatever happens in the charts now, true ARMY worked hard to show Jimin we love him and his work. Nothing will take away the fact that he made history with Hot 100 #1, and won 3 MCountdowns, and raised stocks for Hybe, the Kpop music industry, and South Korea with his solo debut.

All that, and Jimin still made history.

Jimin says he didn't do this for charts or awards, but he got them anyway, and they will forever be proof that true ARMY adore him. So thank you for your hard work.

Whatever happens now for the second and subsequent weeks, everyone reading this can feel peace in their hearts, knowing they will always give their all.

Well done, puppykittes!

Please rest up because we need to ensure FACE has longevity in our playlists going forward and begin doing our due diligence for D-Day, too. And since YouTube is being a word my mother wouldn't want me to say out loud, we need to focus heavily on Pandora in the US and Apple and Spotify everywhere.

Let's get it for chimchim and lil meow meow, y'all!

#jimin #yoongi

[that-random-outsider]

OMG SO MANY THOUGHTS SO MANY FEELINGS

FIRST OF ALL WE GOT TO SEE THE SHORT KING HIMSELF AND I LOVE HIM!!! He is trying so hard to get Charlie to like him. Omg how do I describe him he's just so done with everything. He's like everything Charlie could become but refuses to. He's given up on his people, broken all of his dreams, and retreated into his solitude scared to call everyone who loves him.

Omg and Alistor is so.. interesting!! The way we got to experience him through his relationship with mimzy and Charlie we get this whole new side of him. It's clear that he was over emphasizing him and Charlie's relationship to piss off Lucifer but you could tell he at least partially cared. And the way husk described his relationship with mimzie he loves his friends so much. He's willing to fight anyone who picks a fight with those he cares about and that same sentiment applies to Charlie and everyone else now too, even if he doesn't want to admit it.

The Hazbin Hotel doesn't make sinners better people because of lesson plans or exercises, everyone makes each other better by providing them with some place they can just be free. Somewhere where they don't have to worry about being murdered, eaten, or robbed, they just get to be their authentic self and they get a chance to realize that there's more to life. (Or death)

As for episode six shit Don’t get me started bro. A HELL IS FOREVER REPRISE!??? LIKE ARE THEY KIDDING ME??? THAT SHIT WAS INCREDIBLE!!! NOT ALL OF HEVEN IS A PEACE OF SHIT??? I LOVE THAT ANGLE!!! I was so sure that all of heaven was just going to be like pompous ass holes but like they didn't even know!!

I'm not surprised Vaggie was an angel I always thought those theories were pretty justified but I have so many questions like how gid Vaggie really get her name? Adam said he chose it but that would imply he was in a position to do so which would make no sense in the context that she had a life on earth unless it was forced upon her.

The only alternative would be that she spawned in heaven as an exorcist but we also know she is in fact dead as of 2014 so that would imply that when she let that demon go she didn't just become a fallen angel she was actually killed which would also mean that heaven born Intatiees do still have souls and can in fact become sinner demons which means there's a chance we'll get to meet that decapitate angel after all.

Anyway uhm idk why but I kind of like Cherrie and sir pensious it's actually too hilarious to not at least cravk a smile be for real. Also MY BOY ANGEL IS ALL GROWN UP 🥺 SAYING NO TO DRUGS AND EVERYTHING I'M SO PROUD OF HIM!!!!!

I'm sorry but Am the Seraphim has my heart and she and Charlie should just hang out together and pet koalas all day pleaseeee!! Omg These Last two episodes were incredible and I can’t wait for next week. I wonder how Charlie will react to Vaggies secret. I'm not too worried about them Breaking up but that is definitely a conversation they're going to have to have. Hazbin Hotel had not disappointed yet and now I have 4 new songs to add on my playlist.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin spoilers #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #hazbin vaggie

[wheredoipunch]

kuroo x kenma

(the italics are song lyrics or emphasis, don't worry you'll be able to differentiate)

Kenma had been playing video games all day long.

Kenma loved video games. 

Kenma also loved Kuroo.

But Kuroo didn't need to know that.

They had been best friends forever, and he didn't want to ruin things with him. He cared about Kuroo too much to lose his friendship. Kenma loved Kuroo so much. He loved the way Kuroo looked at him, his dark eyes full of adoration, slight amusement, and something else he couldn't quite recognise.

It sort of looked like love.

But Kenma was probably delusional.

From the background, his playlist blasted out of his phone. 

'I wanna ruin our friendship'

Suddenly, his door burst open, and out of it came Kuroo, in all his dark, tall glory. Kenma almost had a heart attack. He also hadn't noticed he was screaming.

'We should be lovers instead'

"Kenma! You've been inside the whole day. You're coming with me, whether you like it or not. I'm dragging your ass out if I have to." Kuroo said, loud and obnoxious as ever. Meanwhile Kenma was still hyperventilating on the floor. "House…keys…Kuroo…" he wheezed in panic. "You gave me spare keys, remember?" Kuroo said, smirking.

"And I regret it immensely."

"As you should."

'I don't know how to say this'

"Okay, you're coming with me."

"Where though?"

"Bokuto, Akaashi, Oikawa, and Iwa are meeting us at that new karaoke place in," Kuroo paused to look at his watch. "Ten minutes ago. Okay, get up, we're late." 

"I hate you." 

'Cause you're really my dearest friend'

"And turn that damn music off." 

To this, Kenma obliged. He didn't want Kuroo to hear the simpy playlist he had made dedicated to him. He ran upstairs, threw on his best (and tightest) pair of jeans, and a random t-shirt with a cat on it. He hurriedly came back down, where Kuroo was waiting.

Maybe he was just imagining Kuroo's expression change for a second. 

Maybe his mouth didn't hang open and his eyebrows didn't raise in surprise.

Kenma was imagining things.

They reached the karaoke place in around fifteen minutes, where they were greeted by their friends. Oikawa ran up to them. "Kuroooooo you promised it wouldn't take you too long to drag Kenma out todayyyy." he complained, pouting. They hadn't noticed Bokuto creep up behind them until he slapped Kenma's ass and said "Damn, Kenma, those jeans are tight as hell. You tryna seduce Kuroo?" 

Kuroo went red. Kenma rolled his eyes.

"If you must know, there's another girl I've got my eyes set on."

"Ooo~ Kenma's gonna get a girlfriend tonight~" Oikawa smirked.

Akaashi dragged Kuroo, who looked severely confused (and slightly constipated) away to get food and sign in so they could play.

"Who's the girl?" Oikawa nudged Kenma. "Tell us everything."

"You really wanna know?" Kenma asked.

"Tell us or we make you sing first." Bokuto said.

"She's…your mom." Kenma said, and sprinted away as fast as his legs would carry him. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, he ran right into Akaashi, who managed to spill all six of the open Coca Cola bottles on him.

Kenma, now drenched in Coke, opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish. 

"How did you manage to drop all six onto me?" he sputtered.

Oikawa and Bokuto were cackling in the background, Bokuto holding onto Oikawa's arm for dear life as he wheezed so hard he cried. Iwaizumi shook his head, but laughed along with them.

Kuroo was giggling wildly as Akaashi apologised profusely, also grinning like a mad man. 

A few seconds later, Kenma joined in, shaking with laughter.

After they had all finished teasing Kenma, Kuroo pulled him aside, and silently tugged him to the bathroom. He pulled off his hoodie and handed it to Kenma, his hand awkwardly touching the back of his neck. "Your shirt's drenched." he said, smiling softly.

"Oh yes, I wasn't aware of that." Kenma muttered.

Kuroo's face lit up in a grin. "Who would've guessed."

"Yup."

Kenma took his shirt off quickly, rinsed his hair in the sink (he doesn't know how he managed either), and put on Kuroo's hoodie. 

It was ridiculously huge on him. 

"You…you look cute." Kuroo said, eyes slightly widened.

"Thanks." Kenma's blush extended to his shoulders.

They left and had a concerning amount of beer with their friends. They all thought it tasted like trash, but they did it for, in Oikawa's words, "the plot". The plot of what, god knows. 

"I love you, Kenma." Kuroo slurred, putting his arm around Kenma's shoulders.

"What?" Kenma asked, ready to spontaneously combust.

"I love you. I've loved you for a long time now." Kuroo muttered. 

"You're drunk. I'm drunk. You don't mean that."

"I'm a coward, Kenma. Alcohol gives me the courage to say things I can't say when I'm sober. Do you love me too?" 

"I love you so much, Kuroo Tetsuro."

"Good."

And then Kuroo kissed him. 

Oikawa, Iwaizumi, Bokuto, and Akaashi cheered in the background, but they barely noticed them.

This was their moment.

"Wanna get out of here?" Kuroo asked against Kenma's lips.

"Desperately." 

They booked a cab and went back to Kenma's house, where they made out a bit more and Kenma beat Kuroo at Mario Kart more than Kuroo would ever admit. 

He didn't mind losing to Kenma, though.

#kenma kuzome #haikyuu kenma #kozume kenma #kenma fluff #kuroo x kenma #kuroo testuro #kenma #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #hq fluff #hq iwaizumi #haikyuu iwaoi #hq oikawa #hq akaashi #hq bokuto #bokuaka #bokuto koutaro #akaashi keiji #haikyuu fic #haikyuu fanfic #haikyuu fanfiction #i wanna ruin our friendship #kuroken #hq kuroo #kuroo

[diggingupgrave]

Magnificently Cursed... the blog post ✨

🕰🍂🕯🌿📔🧣🌙

My writing log says it’s been exactly a year since I started writing Magnificently Cursed, my Dark Academia Inuokko Magic School AU! I find summer to be insufferable (my apologies to the sun) so I took an escape hatch to an early fall last year and immediately fell down this massive rabbit hole. Not only did I write the whole fic and make overly-intricate graphics for each chapter… I also made a ton of other content that I simply didn’t have enough time to post! (Fall is but one season… unless you’re me, and it’s two, because fuck summer) So as a little anniversary gift to me, I’m going back through the archives and finally putting everything in one place. 

Let’s start with the character mood boards, shall we? 

Toge Inumaki: 

I wanted Toge to have an earthy/natural, vintage-y feel, while Yuuta was all sleek and new. I’m still completely obsessed with this library-lizard aesthetic for Toge.

I low-key wound up buying a brown sweater after searching online for literal hours just like the one in the upper left so we could twin. That duffle coat still has my whole heart. Lavender mug inspired by Neara 🥺

Yuuta Okkotsu:

The lil ghostie patch 😭 I still think Yuuta would look hot as hell in all these clothes- especially the speckle-y fisherman sweater. Coat game is strong here as well. 

... so is it obvious that I spend too much time on Canva yet? 😅

The Timeline: 

My outline wasn’t outlining and I resorted to making an in-world calendar to make sure the dates were realistic. Each chapter is a different color, and the lines represent what days the chapters covered in-world. The corresponding stars represented each chapter’s posting dates… except the real life dates didn’t line up with the fictional dates (rude), so those thursdays were actually saturdays? I think? I'm actually not 100% sure what past me was up to here, to be totally honest 😅

(also, politely ignore that bit that says “epilogue - december” 💀i’ll get to it when i get to it. I don’t really like the idea of it being *over* so maybe i'll just gatekeep that bit forever)

⬆️ Example of aforementioned “outlining,” which, yes, is unfortunately littered with as many potential tweets as actual organization 💀

Not pictured: the outline for the first three chapters… when i thought this fic… would only *be* three chapters. 🪦

Writing Log:

I wrote all 92k between July 13th and September 13th (including 60k in August, nanowrimo style)!

Honestly would love to know what her regimen was because i immediately went back to being slow and undisciplined. I don’t foresee this coming august looking anything like this, lol.

Also, sidenote, hilarious that I took a break to work on it would make a whole in the middle of this? Because I literally just finished that piece this week and posted it today 😅

The Playlist:

Spotify proving that July 13th commitment! If you start a wip without procrastinating and making a playlist for two hours first... did you really start a new wip?

The playlist was three and a half hours and i would listen to it nearly every day, sometimes multiple times in a day 💀. Listen during a rainstorm for peak vibes.

(other favs not pictured: The Butterflly Effect’s cover of “Lay All Your Love on Me,” Sabrina Carpenter’s “Decode,” Liz Longley’s “Rescue My Heart,” and "Nothing's Gonna Happen" by The Staves) 

Bonus:

(fall baking... toge's fav pumpkin muffins of course)

(my toge sweater knockoff)

(editing buddy... clearly working very hard)

(cider donut cider... for the ✨vibes✨)

(obsessively drinking massive pots of harney and son’s victorian london fog tea as i tried to interpret my own bullshit)

(me celebrating actual halloween like i didn't start in july)

.... ANYWAY (if you made it this far 😅) many thanks to anyone who read/kudos/commented/supported this fic, because (if you can't tell already) i had so much fun writing it.

Currently, working on another longfic rn that's also promising to destroy my life... but you never forget your first 😘

#jujutsu kaisen #toge inumaki #yuuta okkotsu #inuokko #dark acamedia

[thefirstcourtesan]

My Favourite “Break Your Heart” Songs

I replied to a post of @jerzwriter ‘s about love songs and admitted that while I know a few, my writing taste leans towards songs about bittersweet or lost love. So I decided to make a list of my favorites. I’m sorry in advance.

1. I Would Have Loved You Anyway by Trisha Yearwood. This has been number one in my writing playlist for almost two decades now much to my husband’s chagrin. I think he could happily never heart it again 😂 but to me there is no better bittersweet song about love gone wrong. “… If I'da known the way that this would end/ If I'da read the last page first/ If I'da had the strength to walk away/ If I'da known how this would hurt/ … I would've loved you anyway”. There is just something so powerful about that. Not every love story lasts forever, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it.

2. Dynasty by Miia. This song is my unofficial theme song for “Portia: A Roman Tragedy”. The idea of we could have had it all but then we didn’t. “Thought we built a dynasty that heaven couldn't shake/ Thought we built a dynasty like nothing ever made/ Thought we built a dynasty forever couldn't break up”. The first time I heard the song (in a fan video), I went “ohh, that’s the tragedyverse”, it just sums it all up for me.

3. What Might Have Been by Little Texas. I have always been haunted by the possibilities of “what might have been” and this song just sums it up in such a beautiful way. “We could sit and talk about this all night long/ And wonder why we didn't last/ Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know/ But we'll have to leave them in the past./ I try not to think about what might have been/ Cause that was then and we have taken diff'rent roads/ we can't go back again there's no use giving in/ And there's no way to know/ What might have been”. You can’t go back, you can’t ever know what could have been.

4. Silver Springs by Fleetwood Mac. Of course this song is on the list. The lyrics, the haunted way she sings, the video of her signing it in 1997. This song is heartbreak perfection. “Time cast a spell on you, but you won't forget me/ I know I could have loved you/ But you would not let me”.

5. Wildest Dreams by Taylor Swift. This is just a beautiful song (and a great video). “Nothing lasts forever/ But this is getting good now/ He's so tall and handsome as hell/ He's so bad, but he does it so well/ And when we've had our very last kiss/ My last request is/ Say you'll remember me/ Standing in a nice dress/ Staring at the sunset, babe/ Red lips and rosy cheeks”.

6. Strawberry Wine by Deana Carter. I have loved this song since I was a teenager (and the “when 30 was old” line hits particularly hard at 40) and as I have grown the song’s impact on me has changed and now I really appreciate the bittersweet look back on first love and how that kind of love only comes along once. “There's nothing time hasn't touched/ Is it really him or the loss of my innocence?/ I've been missing so much”

7. Already Gone by Sleeping At Last (it is a Kelly Clarkson song, but the version I love is a cover). “Started with a perfect kiss/ Then we could feel the poison set in/ Perfect couldn't keep this love alive/ You know that I love you so/ Ilove you enough to let you go” but also “Remember all the things we wanted/ Now all our memories, they're haunted/ We were always meant to say goodbye”. This song just hits so hard and sums up the idea that some things are always meant to end (are you sensing a theme 😂?)

8. Didn’t We Almost Have It All by Whitney Houston. Another one that I have played over and over until my husband never wants to hear it again. “Didn't we almost have it all/ When love was all we had worth giving?/ The ride with you was worth the fall my friend/ Loving you makes life worth living”.

9. Don’t Speak by No Doubt. Another one that goes back to teenage Misha. I think this one got me a few break-ups once upon a time. “Don't speak/ I know what you're thinkin'/ I don't need your reasons/ Don't tell me 'cause it hurts”.

10. Beautifully Unfiniished by Ella Henderson. “But maybe all that we are meant to be/ Is beautifully unfinished/ And I hate you, and I love you/ And I wish you'd go away/ And I hate you, and I love you/ And I wish that you would stay”. I love the pain of this song, the love and the hate, the idea that something is ending when you don’t want it to but you know it has too.

Narrowing it down to 10 was hard and there are lots of other regular songs on my writing playlist, but these are my favorites (although honourable mention to “Last Kiss” by Pearl Jam). If you feel like writing some angst, I highly recommend putting on some of these songs. I definitely have a “type” when it comes to my favorite music, there is something about the end of a love story and looking back that really hits hard for me.

#music recommendation #sad love songs #misha writes #writing music

[strawberryspence]

I am a firm believer that Eddie is the first and only person to give Steve a mixed tape. Like Steve has given them to ex's before but none has given him one. So when Eddie gives Steve one it means the world to him and he listens to it constantly. It's got commentary before songs that make Steve smile. He knows Eddie spent ages picking out songs that he thought Steve would enjoy (even if some genres Eddie didn't enjoy). But it's Steve's favorite tape and he takes it with him everywhere he goes. It's pretty much on repeat and he listens it to nights when he can't sleep.

The first mix tape he gives back to Eddie, he's super nervous because he knows there are some songs on there that aren't Eddie's vibe but Eddie doesn't care. It's the first time someone has also given him a mix tape. And the first time he listens to it, he's laying on his bed just vibing. But the second time around he really starts to listen to the lyrics and the choices of songs. Steve went through and picked songs that tell Eddie just how in love Steve is with him. Steve went through each song to listen to the lyrics to make sure they somehow pertain to loving Eddie.

They make each other more mix taped but the first ones are their favorites forever.

oh my goooooooood i am swimming in a pool of my tears.

just the two of them being each others first 😭 eddie doesn’t know what’s happening when he gives steve the mixtape and this man just starts tearing up because “no ones ever done this for me”

also it’ll be a tradition they’ll take until they’re older. around the 90’s steve would need to call dustin on the landline and ask him how the fuck to burn a fucking cd and why would i need fire to make a mixtape?

and around 2000’s eddie would just send steve links to spotify playlists with very cheesy names “for the constant light of my life” or “my forever wrapped into one tiny man” and always with a candid picture of steve. when steve asks why the hell there was other people listening, eddie would just roll his eyes and say “because it went viral on tiktok steve, i told you this before.”

for their 35th anniversary, steve learns how to make the damn spotify playlist and makes a playlist named “because nothing beats the first one. happy 35th anniversary, em.” and when eddie plays it he just cries because it’s the exact same songs in the first mixtape they both gave each other combined in one. eddie’s mixtape unwound in ‘95 (he keeps the shell of it even tho he can’t play it anymore) and steve’s is still alive but they don’t play it anymore in the fear that i might explode into pieces bcs of the age. 😭

#daerants #dae talks #anon talks #steddie rants #daeheadcanons #bobatea talks

[alto-tenure]

ok...I caved...the guy that post I made about character playlists was about? yeah that was Yomiel. some selected lyrics under the cut bc I feel like justifying my decisions

this playlist might get added to at any point. tracklisting was meant to be in chronological order but somewhere along the line got messed up so now it only makes sense to me sorry

Iron Man (I picked the Cardigans cover on purpose I wanted to have a more melancholy vibe):

Nobody wants him He just stares at the world Planning his vengeance That he will soon unfurl No, nobody wants him They just turn their heads And nobody helps him Now he has his revenge

Look What You Made Me Do:

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I got a list of names and yours is in red underlined I check it once, then I check it twice

Let's Kill Tonight:

May your feet serve you well And the rest be sent to hell Where they always have belonged Cold hearts brew colder songs

Dead!:

And if your heart stops beating I'll be here wondering Did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life

I Am My Own Muse:

Trumpets bring the angels but they never came And no one let them in 'cause they didn't know my name I know I keep my feelings so tucked away Just another day spent hoping we don't fall apart So drop a bomb on all the things we dreamed about

Famous Last Words:

I am not afraid to keep on living I am not afraid to walk this world alone

(I imagine this is a "lying to himself" reinterpretation, not a complete straight-up one)

I'd Kill To Fall Asleep:

They say that when you sleep your body's at rest I wouldn't know what sleep felt like if I tried my best

The Killing Kind:

What if I was wrong by never moving on, I didn't realize who's gone The ghost of me was true but you were haunted too just didn't see it all along Nevermore to leave here Nevermore to leave here You should never be here I know, I know, I know, I know, I know I know my love can be the killing kind

also

If madness overtakes us both Then nobody would be alone The ghost of us can linger here Forever not to disappear Stay, stay near, oh stay We could be together here Forever we're Together bound in madness

The Kintsugi Kid:

I spent ten years in a bit of chemical haze And I miss the way that I felt Nothing, nothing

#ghost trick #ghost trick spoilers #yomiel #i think my friends are infecting me with their yomiel enjoyer brainworms #he isn't even my favorite character #Spotify

[cosmicdreamgrl]

hi steph!!! not to sound like a broken record but thank you AGAIN for your beautiful sets that you made for me 🤍 but i also want to thank you for your song selections submitted to annie!! pink light always makes me think of you too <3 and i didn’t know the bipolar sunshine song but seems i have a new artist to check out which i always appreciate! finally, another thank you to you for being a friend to me and making me feel seen and loved in many ways <3 hope you have a wonderful day!! let me know if you want to chat/watch something next weekend! 🥰

hi love, you are more than welcome; ngl the second one was a spontaneous decision, i'd been meaning to gif that for you for awhile and then i was like 'oh what the hell the more the merrier, right?' and that's how we got there lol. i mean, how was i going to suggest anything else? from both our convos and posts we've reblogged, i know just how much you adore the song so it was second nature and ooh, i love bipolar sunshine, i've been listening to him for a good bit now. although admittedly if i had known the oceanic theme in advance, i might've suggested something else for jin's playlist. oh well, major love is a bop, everyone is welcome

now i'm emotional, i couldn't be more grateful to have you for a friend as well; after a lot of attempts at making online friends and seeing every single one i loved disappear without a trace or burn a bridge? i kept my distance from anyone for a bit, i didn't know if i could deal with more loss on that end. but then i rejoined tumblr and found you and despite it all, you found a way into my heart and there you shall stay forever. thank you for all of the warmth, outpouring of love and understanding you've shown in the time we've known each other. i am honoured to call you a friend, i truly am <3

okay, that's enough of me being sappy 😅 i hope you have a wonderful weekend, i hope all of us showed you just how much you are loved and appreciated not only in the community but amongst ourselves too. i look forward to catching up with you next sunday :) i adore you wbk, take care 💗

#clearly i'm lowkey in my feels ooft #asks #kayla 🏵️

[littlestarlost]

Ten Great Cover Songs That Aren't "Hurt" By Johnny Cash

I have a spotify playlist called "Total Coverage" and it's where I put the covers I collect. My parameters are strict but, I feel, fair: the song must be covered by a band that does its own material (so no covers-only bands), and they have to do something more interesting with the source material than slowing it down on piano and/or ukulele. There are over 100 songs on the list by now, and I do go back to add more when I find them, but apropos of nothing but my desire to procrastinate here are ten of my favourites, in no particular order, which are NOT the same old covers you see on every single covers list.

1: "Bittersweet Symphony" Originally by The Verve, covered by The Knocks and Foster the People

This track ended up on my most-listened to list of 2022, because it fucking rules. The original is fine, but there's something about how Foster the People elevates the vocals that just makes it catnip for my ears. It's great.

2: "Rosanna" Originally by Toto, covered by Weezer

I'll never forgive Weezer for what they did to "Africa", also by Toto. That cover sucks balls and I hate it. But equally as appalling is how great their cover of "Rosanna" is; they turned up the grit on the guitars and infuse it with edge and energy that the original simply lacks. Goddammit, Weezer.

3: "Jackie and Wilson" Originally by Hozier, covered by Jazz Morley

The golden rule of Hozier covers done by women is that you cannot, under any circumstances, change the pronouns of the song. Hozier writes about women like a lesbian, and either you respect that or you shouldn't cover his stuff. This version of "Jackie and Wilson" is gorgeous and lush, Jazz Morley's voice is great, and she sings it the way it should be sung: sapphically.

4: "Freedom" Originally by George Michael, covered by Christine and the Queens

As my friend Jill put it, somehow this is chill as hell and goes hard as fuck at the same time. Christine and the Queens needs to do more stuff like this; recontextualizing gender and sexuality is basically their bread and butter.

5: "Flagpole Sitta" Originally by Harvey Danger, covered by Elohim and AWOLNATION

This is the only reason I know the lyrics to this song and it's worth it. It's a very Lana Del Rey approach to the tune, with twinkling piano and sultry vocals, and it works incredibly well.

6: "Higher Love" Originally by Whitney Houston, covered by JR JR

Another one that I've listened to so much that it's crept into my regular rotation. Indie pop boys taking on the greatest voice of the generation might not sound very good, but as an OG hipster I can tell you that this is exactly the sort of bright poppy nonsense we ate the fuck up in 2012.

7: "I Think We're Alone Now" Originally by Tiffany, covered by Billie Joe Armstrong

I think Billie Joe always wanted to be a pop princess girlie, and now that Green Day is in the "whatever the fuck we want" phase of their career, he gets to do great covers like this one. Takes a somewhat dated classic and makes it sound absolutely timeless.

8: "Needle in the Hay" Originally by Elliott Smith, covered by Vanessa Carlton

As someone who had both an Elliott Smith and a Vanessa Carlton phase, this is just good synergy for me. But also, more women need to do covers of Elliott Smith. Let's get a trend going. He deserves to be reinterpreted that way.

9: "Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!" Originally by ABBA, covered by Zachary Staines

This man really took a disco classic and made it sound like the best Ed Sheeran song that Ed Sheeran could never do. Outstanding.

10: "I Love You Always Forever" Originally by Donna Lewis, covered by Betty Who

I can't believe Betty Who didn't originate this song. It's literally perfect for her. A+, no notes.

#Spotify #music #covers

[yandereocs]

Have you watched Hazbin Hotel yet on Amazon Prime? It is amazing! ^_^ I really love the songs! Seriously, the best ones so far are Loser, Baby (Huskerdust ftw!) and the Hell is Forever Reprise from episode 6!

* I did watch Hazbin Hotel!! Before I get into my opinion, I do want to say that I did watch the pilot when it came out and I watch Helluva Boss as the episodes come out. So I'm familiar with this universe. And also I hate Vivziepop

* This show, in my opinion, was not good 😭

* I mean, it was entertaining, kinda. It did it's job at making me and my sister want to keep watching and it got a few small laughs from us, but the excessive swearing really ruined a lot of potentially funny moments. But for a show that was in development THAT long, it was not as good as it could have been

* There's so much potential but a lot of things just don't turn out the way I think Viv wanted it to come out. Pacing is a huge issue since there's only eight episodes (although that might not be Viv's fault, but I'm not too sure), the characters feel so...flat? Honestly I don't even really like their designs all that much. Alastor is not really all that cool (he constantly talks about how strong he is but never really shows it??) and the songs kinda suck

* There are some good songs. My favorite is Poison, and Loser, Baby is also pretty good. You Didn't Know, More Than Anything and Hell's Greatest Dad are on my playlist. But all the other songs are just kinda...okay. Like, they're catchy but also there's just like at least one part of the song that makes me not enjoy it all that much. But, I'm aware that music is very subjective so obviously other people are going to feel differently

* I literally did not care for any of the characters other than like. Angel Dust and maybe Charlie. Everyone else just feels so lame, you know? Sir Pentious SUCKS man I HATE him. Husk is pretty chill and cool, but other than that I'm not too invested in him. Vaggie's twist did absolutely nothing to make me like her more and also her relationship with Charlie is so unbelievably boring. Nifty isn't all that funny in my opinion and Lucifer's design really bugs me

* There's so much potential for the characters and their stories but right now, they have fallen flat. Which is extremely disappointing. Because I want to see these characters grow and change and be people I can root for. But right now they just feel so bland, and like they have no depth. But I will watch season two whenever that comes out (assuming there will be one)

* I'm not gonna judge anyone who likes the show or the characters or whatever. But it was not a good show in my opinion. It can be, but it's not there yet

#asks #* I also have beef with one specific person who reblogged something with MY Husk and tagged it as the HAZBIN HOTEL Husk #* That made me so mad HAHA #* I'm not a shipper so maybe that's why I don't like any ships in the show #* But my sister ships people and even she agrees that Charlie and Vaggie are so boring #* Also I'm so sorry that you sent an ask saying how much you like the show and I'm going off about how much I think it sucked 😭😭 #* In case anyone was gonna ask: I find Helluva Boss a bit better but it still has problems