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#i am so in love with kate nash
blooming-violets · 1 month
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Nicest Thing Peter x Reader for 11. In joy? I really like that fic. I reblogged it on my old account. I feel like thats an underrated fic of yours (maybe bc it came out in 2022? Idk). Would love to see what happened to them!
It's still one my favs because it is just so...me?? Like if I had to chose anything that represented my personality perfectly, it would be Nicest Thing. Just a depressed, sad bitch who loves angst and Peter Parker and enjoys Kate Nash. I feel like I need another Kate Nash song for this "sequel" fic. I'll base it off her song Trash because these two are trash for each other.
You can read this as a separate, on its own Peter x Reader thing if you'd like or you can read it as a future piece to Nicest Thing.
Warnings: Smoking a joint and getting stoned
If porn bots can over take all the tags then I better not get flagged for these gifs.
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Peter looked at her through blazed out, squinting eyes. A haze of smoke filled their bathroom as they passed the joint back and forth between them. They were seated in the unfilled tub, fully clothed, and facing each other. She had made him take the spot next to the faucet under the claims that sitting over the drain made her feel “icky” like she might get sucked in. He didn’t mind. Even if their leaky faucet kept dripping cold water over his shoulder. 
“Do you remember the Rugrats episode when Tommy and Chuckie are afraid of getting sucked down the bathtub drain because Angelica tells them a story of some other baby who died that way?” He asked, handing her off the joint. 
She placed it between her lips and he watched with a slow blinking, admiration for her. He loved her. She had been with him through everything. He owed his entire life to her. Without her in his life, he would no longer be here. She was everything important in the world. 
She smiled, remembering, and let out the most beautiful laugh. She always got extra giggly when they smoked. It was one of his favorite sounds. 
“Don’t they fill the drain with play-doh and shit? It’s a weird reddish, pink color. Why do I remember that specific color so much?” She replied, mystified. 
Peter chuckled, “Because old school Rugrats was filled with some crazy ass imagery. It sticks in your mind.” 
“Yeah but I remember thinking that I specifically wanted to eat that color...like maybe it would taste nice…like the imaginary food from Hook.” She passed it back to him, letting the smoke exhale in a little, circular puffs from between her lips. 
“Do you want to get into a pretend food fight with me and see if anything appears?” He grinned. 
Her red rimmed eyes squinted back at him as she laughed, “With the way these munchies have been hitting me the past few minutes, I think it might actually happen. I could imagine food hard enough to make it show up.” 
His mind started to wander as a hungry smile spread across his face, imagining all the food he could eat, and he spoke with a dreamy whisper, “Pizza bagels.”
“What?”
“Let’s make pizza bagels. ‘M hungry. Starvin’. Gonna die if I don’t get some food in me.” 
Her eyes glowed with excitement at the idea, “Pizza bagels. Yes, you’re a genius!” 
“I know,” he giggled, it bubbled out of him without any self control. It wasn’t the weed that did it. It was her. He felt free when he was with her. He flicked out the joint against the ashtray balancing on the edge of the tub. “I really am. Smartest man alive, probably.” 
She snorted, “Okay, I wouldn’t go that far. Get your ego in check, Parker, before I have to slap some sense back into you.” 
He beamed at her, his love consumed him, feeling it outshine every other emotion rattling around inside of him. She was beautiful. Stunning. Picture perfect. He wanted to hang her up on his wall like an expensive piece of art so he could admire every day of his life. 
Her shoulders shrunk up to her ears under the intensity of his gaze.
“Stop that,” she whispered. “Don’t look at me with those eyes or I’ll kick you. I’ve got a perfect aim for your crotch in this position.”
Peter shook his head, “Nope, sorry, I refuse. I can’t help it. You look…perfect. The nicest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life.”
“You’re stoned.” 
“Yes. Doesn’t change the fact that your lips look very enticing.” He winked at her and tried to scoot forward to get a taste. 
Her socked foot landed against his chest, pushing him back in place, “I thought we were making pizza bagels, not kissing. Weren’t you just starving a minute ago?” 
“Starving for you, maybe.” 
“Peter!” She let out a loud laugh, keeping him at bay with her outstretched leg. 
He was so in love. Completely enamored. Whipped. Head over heels. Trash for her. Whatever he wanted to call it. He belonged to her so wholly. His bleeding heart was in her hand for the rest of his life. He would follow her to the ends of the earth and back again. 
“If you don’t let me kiss you right this very second, I am going to turn this shower on.” His hand reached over his shoulder to grip onto the shower knob with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 
She gave a sharp inhale, “You wouldn’t dare.” 
His eyebrows raised, taking on that challenge, “Oh really?”
She knew she fucked up the second before the shower burst to life. From his position in the tub, it shot over his head to spray directly into her face. She shrieked and fell back, sliding down the sloped edge of the tub until she was nearly on her back.
It was all the opportunity he needed to pounce. He leapt on top of her to the sound of her laughter and blocked the shower stream from her face with his back. His arms wrapped protectively around her head as he laid over her. Water pooled around them, warming their bodies, and soaking through their clothes. 
They didn’t feel it. 
All he could feel was the devoted love burning a hole in his chest where his heart used to be. 
She giggled up at him, blinking water droplets from her eyes, and whispered, “You’re an ass.”
He laughed in response and crashed his lips over hers, mumbling against them, “You love me.” 
She sighed in content. Her arms snaked around his neck to draw him closer, melting happily into his kiss. 
“I do.”
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dani-sdiary · 2 months
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Songs
A (Cliched) List of Songs That Capture the Loneliness, the Self-Loathing, and the Desperate Desire to be Loved (In No Particular Order):
Blood and Fire - The Indigo Girls
My Skin - Natalie Merchant
Nobody - Mitski (obviously)
Crack Baby - Mitski
Alone Forever - Leanna Firestone (criminally underrated)
Je Sais Pas Danser - Pomme (Could I be more pretentious?)
At Seventeen - Janis Ian
Long, Long Time - Linda Ronstadt
Tous Les Garcons et Les Filles - Francoise Hardy (Apparently so)
Please Send Me Someone to Love - Sade
Come On, Aphrodite - Natalie Merchant
Nicest Thing - Kate Nash
Love Will Come to You - Indigo Girls
Chasing Pavements - Adele
All I Need - Radiohead
Creep - Radiohead (Couldn't resist)
If No One Ever Marries Me - Natalie Merchant
I Will - The Beatles
Another Day - Paul McCartney
Liability - Lorde
People Watching - Conan Gray
Body - Mother Mother
Fat Funny Friend - Maddie Zahm
I'm Your Man - Leonard Cohen
IDK You Yet - Alexander 23
Waiting Room - Phoebe Bridgers
Goodbye to Love - Phoebe Bridgers
How Soon is Now? - The Smiths
Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want - The Smiths
Asleep - The Smiths
Unloveable - The Smiths
Your Best American Girl - Mitski
Valentine - Fiona Apple (My favorite)
Winter - Tori Amos
As I Am - Joan Jett
A (Much Shorter) List of Songs that Describe How I Wished I Felt Instead- Strong Enough on My Own and Accepting of the Fact That I'm Alone:
Aphrodite - Honey Gentry
No Man's Woman - Sinead O'Connor
You're On Your Own, Kid - Taylor Swift
Beautiful - Christina Aguilera
Perhaps Even More Embarrassing (if Possible), A List of Songs that Describe How I Would Love Someone and How I Want to be Loved. I Love these Songs, and I want to Relate to them Someday:
Je Suis D'Accord - Francoise Hardy
We'll Never Have Sex - Leith Ross
The First Taste - Fiona Apple
Your Body is a Wonderland - John Mayer
Thirteen - Big Star
Limon Y Sal - Julieta Venegas
Jupiter - Flower Face
Head Over Feet - Alanis Morrisette
Arabella - Arctic Monkeys
Strong Enough - Sheryl Crow
Oh My Love - John Lennon
Eres - Cafe Tacvba
(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman - Aretha Franklin
Safe and Sound - Taylor Swift
I'll Get the Coffee - Kathryn Gallagher
Still Into You - Paramore
John, I Love You - Sinead O'Connor
Heal the Pain - George Michael
And I Love You So - Don McLean
Brown Eyed Girl - Van Morrison
Samba Pa Ti - Santana
An "Our Song"
Feel free to add your own songs and what they mean to you. I hope you're being kind to yourself today, darlings.
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fitrahgolden · 7 months
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Lilies and Soap
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"You could consume this scene through me
And assess the same majesty
But you could never know the welfare, the glee
That being in the presence of your beauty throws at me"
- "Share in the View" by Lilies and Soap. Lyrics by A. E. Bridgerton and K. K. Sharma.
"Looking good, Lamb!" Anthony whistled obnoxiously at Kate, who was leaving the hair and makeup area of the small studio.
"Come off it. They barely did anything."
"Well, doesn't that make it even more of a compliment?"
"If you were being serious, I suppose it might."
"Oh, but I am."
Kate sighed, exasperated. "Fine. Thank you. So kind of you to say." She curtsied, making Anthony laugh.
A producer walked up to them and pointed toward the camera and chairs setup. "Alright, we're ready for you. If you'll just head over there, we can get started."
Kate nudged Anthony with her shoulder as they walked over. "Nervous?"
"Nah. We've done interviews before."
"First time on camera, though." Kate fiddled with her necklace. Anthony put his hand over hers to still her fingers.
"Then just don't mind the camera, Lamb. It'll be fine."
Kate smiled up at him as a journalist approached them with an outstretched hand.
"Hi! I'm Etta, with MOJO Magazine. So nice to meet you, Anthony, Kate."
After everyone exchanged handshakes, Anthony and Kate were directed to the elevated chairs situated opposite Etta. Anthony helped Kate up into hers.
“Thank you, Tony.”
“Oh,” Etta looked down at her notes as she settled into her chair. “Do you go by ‘Tony’?”
Anthony smirked. “Not generally, no.”
“So, is Tony, like, a family nickname?”
“No, it's, uh… Well," Anthony looked over to his bandmate. "It’s a Kate nickname.”
“Aw, that’s adorable.”
Anthony shrugged. “She's adorable, aren't you, Lamb?” he teased as he tugged on Kate’s hair.
Kate batted his hand away. “Arsehole,” she muttered.
Coming soon...ish? (Hopefully, maybe, possibly.)
As a primer, here a playlist to give you an idea of the kind of band Lilies and Soap is.
And here is the list of songs here:
“9 Crimes” by Damien Rice and Lisa Hannigan
“Fade Into You” by Mazzy Star
“Colorblind” by Counting Crows
“Relator” by Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson
“Stay” by Rihanna and Mikky Ekko
“Dancing On My On” cover by Calum Scott
“Collide” by Tianna Major9 and EARTHGANG
“Higher Love” cover by James Vincent McMorrow
“I Wanna Be Yours” by Arctic Monkeys
“Nicest Thing” by Kate Nash
“broken (acoustic)” by lovelytheband
“Back at Your Door” by Maroon 5
“Wait” by Alexi Murdoch
“Upward Over the Mountain” by Iron & Wine
"Out Loud" by HRVY
“Wanna Be On Your Mind” Valerie June
“Crystalised” by the The xx
"Oh! Sweet Nuthin'" by The Velvet Underground
"Cecilia" by Simon and Garfunkel
"Last Goodbye" by Jeff Buckley
"Make Me Feel" by Janelle Monáe 
"Your Baby Ain't Sweet Like Mine" by Carolina Chocolate Drops
"Crash Into You" by Dave Matthews Band
"Wicked Game" Chris Isaak
"Happier (Stripped)" by Marshmello and Bastille
“Little Talks” by Of Monsters and Men
“Ain’t No Sunshine” by Bill Withers
“Don’t Hurt Yourself” by Beyonce and Jack White
“To Love Somebody” cover by Ray Lamontagne and Damien Rice
“Ever Fallen In Love” cover by Pete Yorn
“Nothing Better” by Postal Service
"Samson" by Regina Spektor
"Everlasting Light" by The Black Keys
"Amsterdam" by Coldplay
"I Will Follow You Into The Dark" by Death Cab For Cutie
"You Don't Know What Love Is (You Just Do As You're Told)" by The White Stripes
"Top Yourself (Bluegrass Version)" by The Raconteurs
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vanana-r0tat3 · 1 year
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another post because i have illness of the brain BATIM/BATDR characters and songs that remind me of them!! theres ah. quite a lot oops.. idk if some of these are ooc but idc 🕺
here's a playlist if youd like to listen to all the songs in the order ive listed
Joey Drew: The Main Character - Will Wood Mr. Big Shot - Anarbor Ruler of Everything - Tally Hall Fear & Delight - The Correspondents (go watch the music video btw its like a baby sensory video for people with autism /hj) What I Want - The Living Tombstone Dead Inside - Younger Hunger Art is Dead - Bo Burnham Sin Triangle - Sidney Gish Young Stars - The Struts Ghost - Nelward Everybody Likes You - Lemon Demon Season 2 Episode 3 - Glass Animals Pools - Glass Animals Money On My Mind - UPSAHL Wrecking Ball - Mother Mother Jesus Don't Like That I'm Gay but Satans Cool With it - Lil Boodang
Other characters below the cut :)
Henry Stein: Rules - The Hoosiers Community Gardens - The Scary Jokes All the Dying - Mother Mother Make the Grade - Jack Conte Black Swan - The Struts Stress - UPSAHL Clockwork - Palaye Royale Don't Panic - Coldplay Nightmare - Set It Off Frying Pan - Mother Mother
Sammy Lawrence: Homunculus - Trickle God's Whisper - Raury Your body, My temple - Will Wood Touch Tone Telephone - Lemon Demon SPLIT! - Jhariah This Is Love - Air Traffic Controller UP TO SNUFF! (I'm On Fire) - atsuover People I Don't Like - UPSAHL What Good Am I - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Hospital - The Used phony - kafu (Will Stetson Cover) (my bf suggested this one!)
Audrey: Could Have Been Me - The Struts Mr. Maker - Crimson Apple Ancient Dreams in a Modern Land - MARINA Imposter Syndrome - Sidney Gish
The Ink Demon: still feel. - half•alive Cabinet man - Lemon Demon It's All So Incredibly Loud - Glass Animals Punching Bag - Palaye Royale Gestapo - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Terrible Ride - The Queenstons Boogieman - Sock.clip (YES I KNOW THIS IS AN FNF SONG FIGHT ME) Monster - Bassetfilms (yes yes another fnf song LISTEN lemon demon/monster fits for the ink demon leave me alone im right) What You Do - The Queenstons Bad Blood - Creature Feature Inside of You, In Spite of You - ThouShaltNot
Buddy Lewek: Soda - Nothing But Thieves No Love in LA - Palaye Royale Radio - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Let Me Down Slowly - Alec Benjamin Why Worry - Set It Off Fine, Great - ModernBaseball
Malice/Twisted Alice: Snuff Out the Light - Eartha Kitt Miss Baltimore Crabs - Hairspray OST Kill Your Darling - Cloudy June
Henry & Joey: You're All Scotch No Soda - Sarah and the Safe Word Lost Kitten - Metric The Ol' Switcheroo - The Struts I Know You Better Than That - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Sick On Seventh Street - Sarah and the Safe Word You'll Be Gone - Yonkagor Pork Soda - Glass Animals One Big Beautiful Sound - Johnny Manchild and the Poor Bastards Fallacy - Yonkagor Your Love (Déjà Vu) - Glass Animals Skeleton Song - Kate Nash Oleander - Mother Mother Drink - Destroy Boys No Children - The Maintain Goats
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ncisladaily · 1 month
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NCIS: Los Angeles may have wrapped last year after 14 seasons, but fans are still getting a double dose of Daniela Ruah (who played Kensi Blye) on April 15: She guest stars in the franchise’s 1,000th episode, airing on NCIS, and directed the franchise’s 1,001st episode, with Hawai’i.
Ruah’s no stranger to being behind the camera for the NCISverse. She directed six episodes of LA (seen above) and one of the mothership earlier this season. “This [Hawai’i episode] was a bigger challenge than the other ones, I think, because it was an incredible storyline, and add to that, that it was a new cast and crew for me, but it was, oh my gosh, I had the absolute best time,” she raves to TV Insider. “I called my husband after day one. I was like, ‘We have to move here. I want to keep working with these guys.’”
In the aptly-titled “The Next Thousand,” when a Marine is murdered during training on the Big Island, the team tracks the suspect deep into the woods and discovers a disturbing secret. Below, Ruah talks about directing this episode, reuniting with her LA co-star LL COOL J (who’s a special guest star on Hawai’i this season), and more.
It’s wild that we’re on 1,001 episodes and counting of the franchise.
Daniela Ruah: I know! And by the way, I am so honored to have been given Episode 1,001. I mean, that’s insane.
When we spoke for one of the episodes of LA you directed, you said you like directing both action and character-driven moments and you get both with this Hawai’i episode. What excited you most about the story when you read the script? 
First of all, the case itself really takes you in one direction, and then the episode about three-quarters in kind of flips on its head. … You take the audience on a journey in this episode, for sure.
The fact that we got to shoot in forestry and jungle areas, just the production value, the richness of that was really exciting. And then add to that, the sort of volcanic barren area that you get to contrast that with diving into Tennant’s [Vanessa Lachey] past is also really interesting. Showrunners Matt Bosack, Jan Nash, and Christopher Silber, who wrote the episode, did an exceptional job, not only with the story, but also the dialogue. And oh my gosh, our guest cast was absolutely phenomenal, and they carried this episode just as much as our main cast.
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The case takes everyone in different directions so you got to play with different pairings.
Oh, yeah, absolutely. I have to say, I think Alex [Tarrant] and Noah [Mills] are so charming together. Those guys really love each other in real life. So watching their chemistry, they’re so different. Alex’s character Kai is so zen, and he’s so connected to the island. And then you have Noah’s character, who’s not originally from that area. So that contrast is really cute to play with.
And then, yeah, Kate [Tori Anderson] and Sam [LL COOL J], I loved watching those two together, to be honest with you. The guy who’s so comfortable with himself and is used to using his gut to solve things as well as obviously facts and science, and she’s by-the-book and still learning to kind of relax into a case and just solve it with every tool you have, which includes your gut. So yeah, it was really cool to watch these pairings.
And then Vanessa was such a game player. She was so open to just diving into an intense emotional journey with these scenes that she had. Yeah, I love directing, and every time I direct an episode of something, I’m extremely happy. And this latest one just made me fall in love with directing even more.
You also reunited with LL COOL J and directed him again. And this episode really lets Sam be funny.
I know. I love it when Kate walks in and she’s got all these files and he’s got parfait. [Laughs] Yeah, working with Todd, it is like we never skipped a beat. It’s like no time had passed between seeing him at the end of last year on our show and seeing him now. I mean, in his own words, we’re homies. He’s my guy. It’s been 14 years of growing next to him and finding my stride as an actor and finding my stride as a director. And he’s been nothing but supportive and gracious and kind and open. Yeah, I mean, it’s Todd, it’s Uncle Todd to my kids.
Now that you’ve directed NCIS, NCIS: LA, and NCIS: Hawai’i, is there something you specifically enjoy about directing each one?
I love directing on our show because obviously it’s where I started. It’s the show where I was the most comfortable. I knew the characters, the tone, the rhythm, the crew, the cinematographer who I worked closely with. There were no surprises there. And I had a team of people who knew me so well that they weren’t going to let me fail, if I forget something because I’m new at it and it’s a lot of multitasking. No one was going to let me drop the ball at anything. So I really had that support. I would say that actually goes for all three shows, but that was just where my passion for it all began.
And then the mothership is an incredibly well-oiled machine. I definitely knew the cast from before, not just from crossovers, but our characters got introduced on their show. So I knew a lot of the crew members as well, and the producers and people who started off on set and rose up throughout the years into being into the production office. So there was a big comfort level there. And being a fan of NCIS, I had watched a bunch of episodes prior to that. So I just feel like I knew the characters really, really well, and that brought a lot of comfort to me as a director. I just felt like I was coming home. It was interesting. As soon as I walked onto their set, I was like, “I feel like I’m home.” And this wasn’t even my show.
And then with NCIS: Hawai’i, you have so many exterior scenes—the mothership is set in D.C. but it’s shot in Santa Clarita, so you actually have to be very careful about how you shoot exteriors, not to make it look like you’re in California, you have to make it look like you’re in D.C.. So there’s actually a lot of sets that are built and that you’re inside for. And in Hawai’i, it was more similar to our show where you’re actually shooting where the show is set so you can shoot as much as you want of the outside, and that really visually enriches their show. But also they’re in Season 3, so they’re still finding their characters, and I think it’s really, really fun to be in that process with them of finding new things that they haven’t done before. So, yeah, I just love the NCISverse, let’s face it.
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fritextramole · 2 months
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you say "when we're married" 'cause you're not bitter
part 4 of a Serena van der Woodsen playlist - best heard in order
tracklist and quotes under the cut
Light up the Night ~ Jamie Berry, Robert Edwards, Andrew Griffiths, Octavia Rose
Don't you see? We could light up the night You and me, we could be such a sight
I’m On Fire ~ Chromatics
Sometimes it's like someone took a knife, baby Edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley Through the middle of my soul
Take Me on the Floor ~ The Veronicas
You captivated me, something about you's got me I was lonely now you make me feel alive Will you be mine tonight
Malibu ~ Trixie Mattel
Came around for a one night thing and I never left Got a key to your old front door You can keep me in the bedside drawer And when you want you can slide me out again
Shotgun ~ Soccer Mommy
Look at your blue eyes like the stars Stuck in the headlights of a car You know I'll take you as you are As long as you do me
All Dolled Up ~ The Orion Experience
Breaking the rules as I sway and swirl Shining like a diamond in glitter and pearl So let's go out on the town Light a fire, burn it down
Kisse Misse ~ Annella
His kiss, addictive like sugar Supposed to only be my rebound He turned out to be the man
Love You Madly ~ CAKE
I don't want to fake it I just want to make it The ornaments look pretty But they're pulling down the branches of the tree I don't want to think about it
Love! ~ Swingrowers
But I've lost control of my game Feeling my senses fading Smiling with tears in my eyes
Girlfriend ~ Icona Pop
Talking bout the lights, the dirt, the shit, that hurts We're not gonna turn around We're doing this for good, for worse The gift, the curse, we're not gonna back down
I Love You Like An Alcoholic ~ The Taxpayers
I need you like I need a gaping head wound One last kiss, I love you like an alcoholic One last kiss, I love you like a négligée
Blowing Up My Mind ~ The Exciters
It's like sitting' in an oven after turning on the gas And then lighting up a cigarette, now how can I last? I said it's blowing up my mind
Pumpkin Soup ~ Kate Nash
Are we not, are we together Will this make our lives much better I'm not in love I just wanna be touched
Deceptacon ~ Le Tigre
You're cool and I hardly wanna say "not" Because I'm so bored that I'd be entertained Even by a stupid floor, a linoleum floor, linoleum floor Your lyrics are dumb like a linoleum floor I'll walk on it, I'll walk all over you
It’s Only Sex ~ Car Seat Headrest
Baby, my body Constantly betrays me I try to betray it I only hurt myself It's only sex
STFU! ~ Rina Sawayama
Patience, overrated If you want it, come and get it The feeling, need to mention Rips me open, rips me open I'm not being naturally negative, no I don't wanna be that girl again, 'cause I've been done and been through more friends
Someone ~ Anna of the North
I am looking for another lover I need someone who understands me Two drinks down Something in the water, baby
Vixen ~ Destroy Boys
Forbidden, untouchable Trouble waits for a victim I wouldn't mind being yours
Trouble ~ Annella
I'm busted, arrested So guilty, you got me There's no excuse for me
You Know I’m No Good ~ Amy Winehouse
I cheated myself Like I knew I would I told you I was trouble You know that I'm no good
Better By Myself ~ Hey Violet
When you choose to terrorize me And your confidence inside me dies You suffocate me with the things you say
Getaway Car ~ Taylor Swift
Don't pretend it's such a mystery Think about the place where you first met me Ridin' in a getaway car There were sirens in the beat of your heart
The Night ~ Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons
You might like your ivory tower But the night begins to turn your head around And you know you're gonna lose more than you found
Personal ~ Rebecca Black
Possessive turned to passive in the middle of the night Now in your vision, I'm the villain you can't look me in the eyes I watched your jealousy turn my sincerity Into dishonesty, but I'll be the bigger person, babe
Breakup Mashup ~ Pomplamoose, dodie
We started out friends It was cool, but it was all pretend Yeah, yeah, (yeah, yeah) Since you been gone (I'm so fuckin' grateful for my ex)
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minotaurmutual · 25 days
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music asks: 1, 8, 30, 48 :)
thanks sarah!! 🌹
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definitely more if an album person, but in truth I'm just a playlist person haha
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I am so emotionally attached to this song even though it's not my taste in music at all and it's 100% because it's in the end credits of druck s4 ahdndn😭😭
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ohh I love this question, I even have a whole playlist for my favourite songs to sing along to!! here are my top 3:
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the lonely forest!!! go listen to the lonely forest!!!!
send me music asks!
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mydaroga · 9 months
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I was tagged by @pie-of-flames to shuffle my on repeat playlist and post the first ten songs that come up. I guess my 'on repeat' playlist is my masterlist which is 2,721 tracks. So here's the first ten, on shuffle: 1. Blood, Sweat & Tears - And When I Die 2. Elvis Costello - Moods for Moderns 3. Dave Edmunds - I Hear You Knocking 4. Neil Diamond - I Am...I Said 5. Guster - Love for Me 6. Kate Bush - The Infant Kiss 7. The Rolling Stones - Gimme Shelter 8. Tracy Bonham - Mother Mother 9. Frankie Valli - Can't Take My Eyes off of You 10. Crosby, Stills & Nash - Just a Song Before I Go
I dunno who's done this or not yet, so I'll tag @idontwanttospoiltheparty and @thestarsarecool and @beatle-shampoo and ... if you want to be added pssst me.
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ventiswampwater · 1 year
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about me tag
tagged by the wonderful @bluecoolr!! tysm my luv!!
nickname: sam (sometimes I wish that sami would stick in someone’s mind so I had some variety, but it really hasn’t)
age: 26 
um, hold on—
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pardon me? 
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SIX months away from being the same age as mama bear from the berenstain bears. time to pack it up, ig. 🫡
height: 5′6″
sign: libra
last google search: black go go boots knee high 💀 I’m on the hunt for a new pair of slutty bitch boots and I’m...........researching
the rest is under the cut so I don’t force y’all to scroll forever lmao 🤡
last song stuck in my head: sabotage by jawny 
sleep: ..........................................1/2 am when I have work.....................hopefully.............when I’m off? anything goes rip in pieces
dream job: working with kids! which I’m doing now and I LOVE it
although I could always go for being the bedazzled sultry singer in a film noir club draping myself dramatically over a piano. if anyone wants 2 set that up let me know
wearing: a big baggy blue sweatshirt and pajama pants printed w/coffee cups. she’s fashion ur honor
favorite songs: how am I supposed to answer this jfdshfdshfds this is fuckin EVIL lmao!!!! here are 3 songs that mean everything to me but like. 83218479874932784372 other songs ALSO mean everything to me.
1) cloudbursting by kate bush
2) silent all these years by tori amos
3) my little alien by kate nash
favorite instrument: when I was a kid, we had a maraca that was shaped like a banana. so, that.
aesthetic: slightly provocative librarian
favorite author(s): gillian flynn
favorite color: pink!!
favorite animal sounds: my dog makes this high pitched OW-WOW sound when she’s in a mischievous mood and I adore it sm
last song: handmade heaven by marina
last series: fleabag! 
random: 
youtube
look at this CREATURE!!!!!!!! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
tagging @venus-haze, @visceravalentines​, @flaggermuser, @cordelium, @pretty-possum​! w/no stress ofc!
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akireu-13 · 8 months
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when neutral milk hotel said "how strange it is to be anything at all" and "and your mom would drink until she was no longer speaking / and dad would dream of all the different ways to die" and when will wood said "whats a symptom? whats a flaw? can it be both?" and "a little conformity never hurt nobody, but lately ive been worried that youre losing yourself" and "whats so wrong about whats wrong with me?" and "i am a point in time and space / and i am the truths that i create" and when that psych i saw said "that must be very isolating" and i said "yeah kinda i guess" and when glass animals said "i just wish that i could give you that / that look thats perfectly unsad" and "i feel numb / my bodys lookin wrong" and when the airborne toxic event said "you just have to see her / you know that she'll break you in two" and when the crane wives said "tell me i am good enough" and when the academic said "late night girl, calling through a phone / she never really loved ya so just leave her alone" and when ajj said "im so sorry that you have to have a body" and when counting crows said "the worst things come from inside here" and when kate nash said "I know I should forget, but I can't" and when the taxpayers said "i need you like i need a gaping head wound" and when modest mouse said "well maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both grow old / well i dont know (x3) / i hope so" and when crywank said "did i forget your name or tell a joke and noone laughed? / did i come across as stupid or did i cum too fast? / this isnt a brave face, this isnt a brave face / this is a mess" and when frank turner said "she could get up, shower, and in half an hour she'd be gone" and "if you remembered me / you could save me from the way i tend to be" and when hozier said "we could just kiss like real people do" and when the barenaked ladies said "i guess ill see you monday like before" and when ricky montgomery said "i wanna see you with your head wide open / empty in the ground, gone without a sound / just another white elm growing at the edge of town" and when the mountain goats said "twin high maintenance machines" and "hand in unloveable hand" and when the front bottoms said "i have this dream that i am hitting my dad with a baseball bat and he is screaming and crying for help, and maybe halfway through it has more to do with me killing him than it ever did protecting myself" and when ramshackle glory said "keep loving keep fighting / and hold on / hold on for your life-
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Sorry if this sounds dumb but i never understood the concept of a role traumatising someone? isn't it just acting? It's not an event that took you off guard that you didn't mentally prepare for. what's there to be traumatised about?
i don't think it's that simple for some actors when they take on a role that requires them to act extremely violent or terrorizing. some people struggle to get into the headspace it takes to convincingly act out certain things and take on the persona of someone so terrible, and to stay there for the duration of the filming. also, i'm sure it depends on the person. some actors can go in and out of characters very easily; that's something evan talked about while working with kate winslet on mare of easttown, how she could easily go on break and stop talking in her american accent and be herself. for him, he doesn't break character because it's hard for him to go back and forth. that's why niecy nash initially thought evan was rude and didn't like her, but later realized it was just his process while playing dahmer.
i am not someone who is affected by gore. but i know people who, if they see a gore-y image, they're haunted by it for ages and will say they have nightmares about it. i have always loved to watch true crime series and documentaries, but my aunt was someone who absolutely could NOT tolerate even talking about the subject matter of murders or serial killers, so i know some people are just more sensitive than others.
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icedmilkwater · 2 years
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10 songs by 10 artists go
1. Birdhouse In Your Soul by They Might Be Giants:
An absolute cornerstone of my childhood growing up. This entire list could be TMBG songs on it's own. The Flood album really defined who I was when I was younger, and Birdhouse was almost constantly playing on loop.
2. Cybele's Reverie by Stereolab:
My dad first introduced me into Stereolab and they've quickly fastened themselves into one of my favorite bands, Cybele's Reverie filling me with enough emotion to cry. It's a damn good song.
3. String Theocracy by Mili:
I can't do a list of favorite songs and not include String Theocracy. Library of Ruina has been one of my most passionate obsessions, and as such Mili has become one of my top artists. The meaning in String Theocracy is just so deep and thought provoking, all wrapped up in a nice jazzy bow.
4. Dark Beach by Pastel Ghost:
Anything with sea-related themes is easy to get my attention. However the hauntingly peaceful sound that Dark Beach delivers fills me with all kinds of bittersweet emotions. It's an amazing song that fits my taste near-perfectly.
5. Bocca della Verità by Hiiragi Kirai:
I only got into vocaloid about a year and a half ago, but my god is Hiiragi one of my favorite vocaloid artists. It's impressive what you can do with all the different vocaloids to choose from, and Kirai's choice of Flower greatly helps bring the feeling of his work to a more vivid experience. ...If that makes sense.
6. Marble Soda by Shawn Wasabi:
I have to include Marble Soda in this list. One of the defining songs of my early teen years, it reminds me of the long period in time of watching old sudememo and flipnote memes. Songs like this most likely shaped who I am fundamentally.
7. Merry Happy by Kate Nash:
A song that helped get me through my breakup. It brought me back to my senses and sent me on the path to rediscover who I was, realizing the fact that people can be nice, fun people, but also capable of hurting you. Merry Happy aided me in creating my own happiness, one that doesn't rely on others.
8. Dancing Queen by ABBA:
Another song that helped me through my breakup, haha. It's nigh impossible to be sad or stay sad when this song is playing. On days that were especially bad, I would blast ABBA as much as possible to help try and cheer myself up. and in 9 out of 10 cases, it worked out.
9. Feel Good Inc. by Gorillaz:
Another defining band of my childhood. Gorillaz has always been a guilty pleasure of mine, with Feel Good Inc. sticking out in my memory the most. I'm absolutely in love with the way they sound, and I can safely say that it's a song that can still be found on my main playlist to this day.
10. Concrete Beatdown by Jimkata:
In last but certainly not least, Concrete Beatdown. I talked a lot about defining bands, but I would not be the person I am today without Jimkata. They were a band I blasted over and over and over again during one of my most influential periods growing up, and they're a band I have deep love for. Their sound is interesting and unique, and I can always tell immediately when one of their songs come on the radio.
I was tagged by @litho-sphere to do this! Not sure of many other people to tag tho, so I suppose I tag my good buddy @eggorf to do this :)
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acacia-may · 1 year
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What are your songs for Finral x Finesse (FinFin is their shipname, right)?
Hi anon! Thank you so much for this ask! I'm still getting to know all the ship names, but, yes, I think FinFin is the name for Finral x Finesse! I am so excited that you've asked me about them because their ship playlist is actually my favourite to listen to (linked here if you're interested. Though I will warn you it does contain some angsty songs and a few songs that are mainly (affectionate) jokes at Finral's expense).
My most listened to song on Spotify this year "Line Without a Hook" by Ricky Montgomery and mxmtoon is actually from my FinFin playlist, but since I already made a post about it and talked about two of my other favourite Finral x Finesse songs "Little Wanderer" by Death Cab for Cutie and "Candle on the Water" (one of my favourite Disney songs) in my post about them for the ship bingo game, I've decided to choose some other favourites for this ask!
"Oceans Between Us" by The Icarus Account
"Make You Mine" by PUBLIC
"Only Us" by Carrie Underwood and Dan + Shay (originally from the musical "Dear Evan Hansen" but I like this version a lot)
"I Wanna Make You Happy" by Victory
"The Long and Winding Road" by The Beatles
"It Only Takes A Moment" by Kate Baldwin and Gavin Creel (from the musical "Hello Dolly")
"Maybe Don't" by Maisie Peters and JP Saxe
Bonuses:
A Bit Angsty: "Nicest Thing" by Kate Nash
A Bit Cheeky: "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors, "You're the One" by the Vogues, and "Honey, I'm Good" by Andy Grammer
The song "Oceans Between Us" by The Icarus Account could have been written for this ship. The lovely, overarching theme of this song is just so fitting for Finral and Finesse. Though the singer is traveling far away (with "miles and miles that [he's] yet to go" he hasn't forgotten his beloved who is waiting for him to return ("But tell me you love me and tell me again/ You wait for forever, you wait till the end"). If that isn't enough, there are also lines like "You're the only reason I come home/ My love" and a whole section of "You're the only one"s. It's an incredibly sweet song (for an incredibly sweet ship), and I think it really suits them. The ending, "You're mine forever and I'm yours/ Yours till the end" always brings a smile to my face.
The Icarus Account - Oceans Between Us (official audio) - YouTube
"Make You Mine" by PUBLIC was my fifth most listened to song of 2021 (probably because it was on my Finral x Finesse playlist). Every time the line "put your hand in mine" comes up I always think of Finesse grabbing his hand when he's dropping the letter out of the spatial portal in Episode 154 (one of my all-time favourite Black Clover episodes). While I don't see them hurting each other all that much and there are a few bittersweet moments in this song, I mainly disregard those and focus on the bits I think are very fitting to this ship given that "You know that I want to be with you all the time/ You know that I won't stop until I make you mine" is a pretty good way to summarize all of Finral's newfound motivation to become a man worthy of Finesse's love.
PUBLIC - Make You Mine (Official Lyric Video) - YouTube
"Only Us" was originally from the musical "Dear Evan Hansen," but I've linked the version by Carrie Underwood and Dan + Shay. I'm not sure where to even begin with this one since I'd really like to just copy and paste all of the lyrics into this post. The opening of the song just screams Finesse to me. She recognizes that Finral is insecure, but she loves him anyway and encourages him that he doesn't have to convince her that he is enough for her (i.e. "I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you/ I don't need you to search for the proof that I should/ You don't have to convince me/ You don't have to be scared you're not enough"). She knows that the past is painful, but she wants to move forward from that into something better, brighter, and happier together ("And what came before won't count anymore or matter").
Then the second verse just perfectly captures how I think Finral feels in this relationship. Finesse is his first love, but he never could have imagined that she would actually love him in return (i.e. "I never thought there'll be someone like you who would want me"). I think one of Finral's biggest motivations as a character is that he is starving for the unconditional love he didn't receive as a child, and when we meet him in the canon, we see that he is looking for it in all the wrong places (i.e. by practically throwing himself at every woman he sees). On a certain deep level, he really feels like he doesn't deserve to be loved, especially to be loved unconditionally, on the merits of just being Finral, but that doesn't stop him from wishing for it. I think the lines ""But if you really see me/ If you like me for me and nothing else/ Well, that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know" really speak to that.
What's so beautiful about Finral and Finesse as a ship is that she does see him for who he is and loves him for that, and I think that this song really captures that (especially the lines "You and me/ That's all that we needed to be/ And the rest of the world falls away"). That "'Til you're the only one, I still know how to see" line is just an added bonus.
Carrie Underwood & Dan +Shay - Only Us (Lyrics) - YouTube
"I Wanna Make You Happy" by Victory is a little on the nose given Finral's vow to "be the one to make Lady Finesse happy." However, it's a cute song full of warm and fuzzies for a cute ship full of warm and fuzzies.
Victory Boyd - I Wanna Make You Happy (Official Lyric Video) - YouTube
"The Long and Winding Road" is a Beatles classic, and one of my favourite songs of all time. I think it fits the context of this ship extremely well because even though Finral has left Finesse to find his own way in the world, he is coming to realise that "the long and winding road" of his life's journey will eventually lead back to her. It's almost as if his heart has been with her all along, he just didn't know it.
"The long and winding road/ That leads to your door/ Will never disappear/ I've seen that road before/ It always leads me here/ Lead me to you door"
The Long And Winding Road (Remastered 2009) - YouTube
I know "It Only Takes a Moment" is a showtune (from the musical "Hello Dolly") so it's a little out of the box, but it was just too perfect to pass up. I mean, if anyone is going to believe that "It only takes a moment/ To be loved a whole life long," it's Finral. This kind of hopeless romanticism just fits him so well, and I imagine that if he was to tell the story of how he fell in love with Finesse if would very much be a love at first sight kind of thing (on his side. I think it was a slow burn thing on her side). She was his first love, and, yes, I might be teasing him a bit with this song choice but it's pretty undeniable that he really was taken with her from the first time he saw her. When I listen to this song, I like to think of Finral explaining to his squad that he loves Finesse and has since the very beginning. These lines: "It only takes a moment/ For your eyes to meet and then/ Your heart knows in a moment/ You will never be alone again" especially just feel so much like him and his attitude towards his relationship.
Not to mention the fact that the line "I held her for an instant/But my arms felt sure and strong" always makes me think of this:
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It Only Takes a Moment - YouTube
"Maybe Don't" by Maisie Peters and JP Saxe was a big inspiration for my Finral x Finesse story, "I'll Be Waiting," (especially the lines "We should never speak again/ Because I like you/ And lately it's been only getting worse/ So we should never speak again/ Because I want to/ I've run through every outcome and in every one I'm hurt.") I think this song as a whole really captures Finral's conflicted feelings in trying to reconcile the fact that he loves Finesse with the fact that she is probably going to marry his brother (which, I think, he knows will leave him heartbroken if he doesn't emotionally distance himself). Meanwhile, Finesse cares about him and is trying to gently suggest that maybe he doesn't have to do that. (The gentleness and almost shyness of that "maybe don't" sentiment feels a lot like her to me). I especially love the line: "I should always be alone/ You said maybe don't" and think the line "'Cause I run from the things that I want the most/ You said I get that's what you do but, maybe don't" is particularly fitting for these two.
Maisie Peters - Maybe Don't [feat. JP Saxe] [Lyric Video] - YouTube
Bonuses:
If you want something angsty, there's the song "Nicest Thing" by Kate Nash (YouTube Link Here). I like to imagine Finral as the singer and Finesse as the "you", and I especially like the line: "I wish you'd never forget/ The look on my face when we first met" since it always brings up a mental image of this:
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He looks like he’s been whacked on the back of the head, bless his heart. 😂🥺💕 I really think the opening lines of this song sum up how he feels about her too (even if he knows (or thinks he knows) that it’s nothing more than a pipedream to imagine they’d end up together):
"All I know is that you're so nice/ You're the nicest thing I've seen/ I wish that we could give it a go/ See if we could be something."
If you're feeling a bit cheeky and want something that's more about poking fun at the situation there's always "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors (YouTube Link Here). No offense to Langris intended. The song is nice enough to admit that they're both "princes who adore [her]," after all.
"Marry him, or marry me/ I'm the one that loves you, baby, can't you see?/ I ain't got no future or family tree/ But I know what a prince and lover ought to be"
Or if you'd rather the song poke fun at Finral (in the most good-natured and affectionate way, of course), there's "You're The One" by the Vogues (YouTube Link Here; Spotify link here since Tumblr won't let me embed more than 10 songs). Don't get me wrong, I love Finral and am rooting for him and Finesse, but he can be a little too insistent with his "I want you only, you must believe me"s for my taste, so this song is poking fun at that a little.
"Honey I'm Good" by Andy Grammer (YouTube Link Here) is also good for poking fun at Finral for the same reason. Plus, it has this great (and very catchy) refrain:
"So nah, nah, honey, I'm good/ I could have another, but I probably should not/ I've got somebody at home, and if I stay I might not leave alone/ No, honey, I'm good, I could have another, but I probably should not/ I've gotta bid you adieu, to another I will stay true"
(Warning: there's one bad word in this song)
Thank you so much again for the ask and for indulging me (and bearing with me to the end of what turned into a very long post)! Cheers!!
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gretagerwigsmuse · 2 years
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3, 6, 8, 29 🥰
hi! thank you! i wanted #3!
3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with
top gun - bradley; succession - kendall roy; the society - harry bingham; bridgerton (but book bridgerton) - kate; veep - amy brookheimer; little women - amy march (i am such an amy, it's actually a lot); and i don't really watch it anymore but gilmore girls - paris geller
so basically - i'm outgoing, but also kind of a mirrorball/this is me trying girlie
6. are you religious/spiritual?
HA i'm a protestant from new england, which is to say i am devout but also not religious at all
8. what musical artists have you most felt connected to over your lifetime?
obviously taylor swift's lyrics hit me in a way i have seldom experienced elsewhere - but other than her, i was really really into frank sinatra and dean martin as a child and crosby, stills, nash, & young as well as jackson browne always remind me of my parents and growing up
29. three songs that you connect with right now
i got this one yesterday, but i listen to music constantly so i'll do it again!
hung up on my baby - isaac hayes; i'm in love with you - the 1975; god must hate me - catie turner
identity ask!
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dani-sdiary · 2 months
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My Favorite Retro Hedgehog Girl Media
Friend to and influenced by the Teenage Girl in her Twenties, on-and-off dating The Burnt Out Gifted Kid, and younger sister to The Frazzled English Woman, The Retro Hedgehog Girl feels she's too soft to live in this world, and that too much has happened already and that it's too late now. She's just another lost, directionless, broke twentysomething with a million passions who couldn't imagine picking one thing to do every single day for the next 50 years. She doesn't know where all her time goes. She desperately wants to change, but doesn't know how.
She's the perfect example of the hedgehog's dilemma. She's well aware of her self-destructive tendencies, but feels can't find a way to move past them. She's lonely but pushes people away. She loves fiercely but doesn't know how to express it. She does her best to be honest but her words never come out like she meant them. She doesn't feel at home around anyone. She doesn't know what to say when people ask her questions about herself. She's self-centered and sees everything as a personal attack. Sometimes she picks fights with people she cares about, though she doesn't know why. She's prideful, irritable, and has a quick temper. She lashes out when she feels hurt or abandoned or insecure and immediately regrets it but doesn't know how to fix it.
During the week, she lives in secondhand loafers and wrap dresses, and, in the bitter winters, always wears the same worn but reliable, hand-me-down, old-fashioned coat inherited from an estranged relative. When she doesn't have work, she wears jeans, an oversize sweater and the converse she's had since high school. She sometimes romanticizes her life by poking fun at the way she always spends her dead-end, minimum wage job's paycheck on things she doesn't need, but she knows she has a real problem. She loves to shop so she has an excuse to leave her house and be around other people without it being too obvious.
She craves excitement and passion and experiences, she wants to go everywhere and do everything and be everyone. She dreads the though of living a quite life forever. She's terrified of spending the rest of her life feeling this way. She wants to be okay on her own, but thinks its impossible.
The movies and T.V. shows she watches over and over. She seeks out characters that she can relate to:
Girls
Search Party
Shrill
My Mad Fat Diary
Fleabag
I Am Not Okay With This and The End of the Fucking World
In My Skin
Extraordinary
Normal People
Pure
Emily the Criminal
Some Freaks
Winter's Bone
Lady Bird and Frances Ha
The Lure
Speak
Amelie
Jamie Marks is Dead
Pretty in Pink
Yes, God, Yes
On the Edge
True Things
Secretary
I'm Your Man
The books she's read a million times:
A Room with a View by E.M. Forster
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret and Forever by Judy Blume
The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson
Norwegian Wood by Haruki Murakami
The Serpent King by Jeff Zentner
A Long Way Down by Nick Hornby
Martita, te Recuerdo/Martita, I Remember You by Sandra Cisneros
Winter's Bone by Daniel Woodrell
Anxious People by Frederick Backman
The songs that used to make her dance like she was possessed or cry like she'd never stop but have lost their power through overuse. She wants to branch out more and find new music, but she just can't get really, really excited about anything like she used to anymore:
Flower and Canary by Liz Phair
Paper Bag and Love Ridden and Valentine by Fiona Apple
Liability by Lorde
Cool About It by Boy Genius
Love's Recovery by Indigo Girls
Tom's Diner by Suzanne Vega
Nicest Thing by Kate Nash
Winter and Crucify and Enjoy The Silence by Tori Amos
Working for the Knife and Crack Baby by Mitski
Half a Person and How Soon is Now? by The Smiths
Me and You Together Song by the 1975
Modern Love by David Bowie
Hey Jealousy and Day Job and by Gin Blossoms
This is Love by P.J. Harvey
Perfect Day by Lou Reed and Candy Says by Velvet Underground
The Whole of the Moon by The Waterboys
Hyperballad by Bjork
Not Allowed by T.V. Girl
All I Need by Radiohead
Perfect and King of Pain and Your House by Alanis Morrisette
Uberlin by R.E.M.
Mr. Jones and Anna Begins by Counting Crows
I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys
Everlong by Foo Fighters
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps by Cake
Park Life by Blur
All Apologies by Sinead O'Connor
As always, feel free to add your own.
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pseudomonaslisa · 11 months
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kate nash - don't you want to share the guilt?
barbecue food is good you invite me out to eat it, i should go. but i'm feeling kind of nervous and not quite myself, so i'm running late on purpose, and i know this won't help
how things have become between us but if i go, you'll give me hell and that i don't know how to fix it is making me unwell-- well.
i arrive at your house but you've just gotten up and you are wearing a towel and your eyes look dark i help to dry your body and i see your cut so i give you a plaster and we cover it up i say, have you been crying and you say, shut up so we sit in the garden and touch the grass with our hands.
the sun is going down now and it's been okay you tell me all the things you did while i was away and this worries me somewhat but you say you're fine-- listen. can you hear it? does it speak? will i feel it? will it hurt? am i near it? i don't know
I don't know how more people haven't got mental health problems. Thinking is one of the most stressful things I've ever come across, and not being able to articulate what I want to say drives me crazy. I think I should read some more books, learn some new words. My sister used to read the dictionary--I'm gonna start with that. I'd like to travel. I want to see India and the pyramids, a whale, and that race with all the bicycles in France. I'm not sure about rivers; they scare me. But I love swimming. I'm good at it, and when I swim, I count the laps and this helps me relax. When I was younger I saw a house burn down, and I walked past it for the next six years: derelict, black, chalky, and dangerous. I wondered if squatters lived there. I'm still not sure, but I know there were never any parties, because it was a shithole. After awhile, the council got 'round to tidying up the town. They decided it was an eyesore, so they tore it down. Behind the house was a wall with a few bits of crappy graffiti and the word "cunt" written in giant letters, and now I walk past that. I like going to the park. I like walking through it. I like taking my dogs there, and friends, and I like being alone. I like being able to shout but I wish I could be quiet. When I'm quiet, people just think I'm sad, and usually, I am. Sometimes, when I'm at a really noisy train stations--one of the ones with the big, fat trains, like King's Cross--I feel like putting down my bags and shouting things out, because I've got something to say!
Don't you want to share the guilt?
don't think, just try and sleep
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