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cdbabymp3 · 1 month

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𐙚chris' girl chp. 2 ― matt sturniolo

summary: y/n confides in matt on the drive home

notes/warnings: chris x influencer!reader x matt, some suggestive mentions (talk of sex & virginity) , y/n and chris have a toxic relationship, dialogue heavy/filler and i HATE it lol+ this song is so matt it hurts

thank you all for waiting, ily asf !! :*

(edited, but definitely not my best i fear)

matt's blood went cold. his muscles tensed so much from sheer embarrassment that he felt sore sitting up in bed.

shit. shit. shit. shit.

tucking his boner into the waistband of his boxers, he hopped out of bed and threw some pajama pants and a random shirt on. about to knock again, matt opened the door to reveal y/n, a light sheen of sweat across her chest and forehead. most of her makeup had faded or been smeared off and her hair wasn't as smooth as it was at the beginning of the night. small flakes of mascara stuck to the skin under eyes and flushed cheeks. had she been crying? or was it from fucking? or both? he couldn't tell.

she flashed a weak smile, holding both her high heels in her hand, "sorry, i didn't mean to wake you."

"no, you're good. i was barely asleep," matt lied assuringly, scanning her face for a clear expression.

she fidgeted with the straps of her shoes, struggling with what to say.

"do you want me to take you home?" matt provided quietly, unsure whether or not chris was awake or if he'd even care.

y/n's eyes lit up at matt's offer, nodding. "yes please. if that's okay?"

this never happened. y/n always spent the night with chris. and now matt was about to be in the car with her. just her. he didn't allow himself too much excitement, though. not until he knew what was going on with her.

"of course," matt whispered, leaving the doorway for a moment to grab his car keys and a jacket.

"oh, wait. one sec," y/n set down her shoes in the hallway, carefully opening chris' door. chris laid on his side, fast asleep. y/n pulled a hoodie from his dresser and put it on over her dress, the thick fabric draping over her thighs completely. tip toeing to the bed, she leaned over chris, whispering, "matt's gonna take me home, okay?" lowering her face to his, she pressed a feather-light kiss to his cheek, "love you."

matt felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. it almost made him sad, y/n talking to chris as if he could hear anything she's saying. surely, she knows he can't hear her and that's what makes it even more sad.

matt zipped up his jacket, the noise causing y/n to end her moment with chris and leave his room. she shut his door with a little creak, but chris remained in a deep state of sleep. matt gestured to outside the hallway to leave, y/n leading the way through the living room and back down the stairs.

she stayed uncharacteristically quiet as matt drove. he wasn't sure what to do or say - or if she even wanted him to. he could sense some kind of apprehension from her, like she wanted to tell him something but couldn't find a way to articulate it. suddenly, in the weighted silence, y/n's stomach growled loudly. she gasped, giggling a bit at the abrupt noise. finally, her smile.

matt joined her laughter, turning into the second to last intersection before her house, "you wanna get something to eat real quick?"

y/n looked at him again with bright eyes, like a little kid. "can we? i didn't eat at the party."

matt tapped the gps on his console screen, ending the route, "yeah, me neither. i'm starving."

"what's gonna be open this late, though?"

matt cracked a knowing smile, putting his blinker on and turning into a shopping plaza. at nearly 1 am, only two of three cars took up the otherwise empty parking lot. however, at the end of the plaza, a long line of cars wrapped around the in n out drive-thru.

"oh, thank god." y/n exhaled deeply in relief, making praying hands, "i'm gonna pass out."

matt chuckles, maneuvering the car to the back of the line, "please don't do that. not on my watch, chris will kill me."

y/n's smile fades, her body language turning demure.

shit. way to go, idiot.

"not so sure about that." her voice is small as stares at the car in front of them

hesitantly matt asks, "okay, i know it's none of my business and you totally don't have to answer, but...is everything okay? like with you and him?", he inches the car further in line.

she's conflicted, it's all over her face. she runs a hand through her scalp and leaves it there, propping her elbow up against the car door to lean on.

she shakes her head, "you're gonna think i'm crazy." the car ahead's red tail lights cast across her face, making her eyes glisten.

matt lets the wheels roll an inch or two, then stops to catch her gaze. her big eyes meet his and, without fail, his heart flutters.

"no, seriously, i won't judge. i promise." and he means it.

she knows he means it too, which is why she continues.

"okay, um-you know kenzie coy?"

"uh, the blonde girl that does the fitness tiktoks?" matt confirms, even though he knew exactly who she was, unfortunately.

kenzie coy; widely known for her viral workout videos and lingerie pictures on instagram, caught the attention of most young guys in l.a. and if they weren't in l.a. to see her in person, they were probably jerking off to her pictures in the lonely confinement of their bedrooms.

"yeah, her." y/n says, slouching more into the seat, "i think chris and her are hooking up. they were talking at the party and she kept putting her hand on his shoulder like they'd known each other for years. plus, he laughed at every little thing she was saying, even the shit that wasn't funny. it was so weird, matt. i don't know, something just feels off and i can't let it go."

god, what are you doing, chris?

"no, there's no way." matt refutes with certainty, "he's with you. he likes you, y/n. always has, simple as that."

"me," huffing, "and kenzie." she adds, attempting to prove a point, but matt's unsure.

he quirks an eyebrow in disbelief, having to do a double-take before driving forward a bit more. "what? like at the same time?"

she shrugs, "it's possible is all i'm saying," now turning to face matt, "to like two people... simultaneously."

matt's face goes warm, grateful that the red car lights mask the vivid blush probably forming. he can feel her eyes on him as he rolls down his window to order their food. though he admittedly knows y/n's order by heart, his speech is jumbled. a stutter persistent throughout the entire order, but the employee doesn't seem to have trouble taking it and telling them to pull forward. matt fumbles around his jacket pocket for his wallet with shaky hands, retrieving his credit card from the sleeve and almost dropping it.

does she know what she's doing? how her words sound?

"i-i mean, yeah. technically that's possible, but-" matt's interrupted by another employee as he pulls up to the window to pay. quick, but politely, matt thanks the employee and grabs the bag of food. "do you wanna eat on the way home or-"

"actually, can you park for a sec?" y/n asks, taking the bag of food from his lap and placing it on hers.

her question nearly makes matt run over the drive-thru curb, maneuvering the car into the nearest parking spot. "yeah, are you good?"

"yeah, no, i'm fine. this night's just been a lot. i kinda wanna chill out for a bit." she explains, hand diving into the white bag for her burger and fries. she sets her food on her lap, then goes back to the bag for matt's, handing it to him with a smile.

"thanks." he can barely choke out, the atmosphere suddenly feeling incredibly intimate as he turns the car's ignition off. now it was really just him and her, no background noise, no distractions, no chris.

"what were you saying earlier, before you ordered?" y/n tosses a fry into her mouth

"oh nothing. i was just saying that it's possible, but you guys made up, right? so i wouldn't worry about it."

y/n let out a breathy laugh, in between chewing, " 'made up' isn't what i would call it."

he's not sure what's gotten into him, but matt takes advantage of this surge of confidence. "okay, then what would you call it?" matt furthered. there was no going back now.

a little surprised by his boldness, y/n raises her eyebrows, putting her fries down on her lap and shifting to face him again. "i'd say we put a bandaid on it. something temporary, like we always do," she looks down shyly at the space between them, "but sex doesn't fix everything, y'know?"

flustered, matt chokes on a fry, patting his chest for air.

y/n rapidly back-pedals at his reaction, "oh my god, sorry. he's your brother, you don't wanna hear about that."

matt takes a sip of water from the center console, and regains his breath. "no, no, it's okay." clearing his throat, "i'd imagine it doesn't."

she frowns at this, a little smirk forming in the corner of her lips. "'imagine'?"

oh god. just shut up, matt.

"i mean, like-it's-y'know?" he tries, but can't save himself whatsoever, "fuck." embarrassed, he gives up with a defeated laugh, taking a giant bite of his burger to silence himself.

y/n giggles, licking some salt off her finger, "you've never...?"

she wants me dead.

chewing down the bite, matt swallows with a loud 'gulp', making her giggle more. "uh, no, i haven't...it's really embarrassing."

y/n shakes her head, "no, it's not," carefully she asks, "is there a reason why?"

her tone is sweet and genuine. he could tell, for some reason, she really cared about what he'd say next.

"honestly, yeah." matt avoided her gaze, "i have a hard time, like...getting to that point i guess?"

he wasn't sure why he was spilling his guts to her like this. he's never told anyone this and he swore he never would.

but it's y/n. everyone told y/n their secrets. she was just that kind of person.

she tilts her head teasingly, humming in denial, "mhm"

matt's heart skips a beat, his brain going blank. "what?"

"i think you know what you want, matt," her voice is like velvet saying his name, "and you know how to get it. the only thing holding you back is yourself." she speaks so matter-of-factly, so innocent, it drives him fucking insane.

the tension in the car was so thick, it clouded his usual rationality. for a split second, he was convinced she was trying to tell him something. an innuendo of sorts.

but that thought is soon dismissed when she continues, "regardless, you're smart for waiting. your first time is better when it's with someone you genuinely care about." she didn't have to say it. matt knew who she was talking about. but just to twist the knife, she adds, "but it does make you get attached... i think that's my problem right now with chris."

and just like that, the moment was over.

only able to nod in agreement, matt turns the car back on, discarding his burger wrapper into the white bag along with some used napkins."it's getting late. i should probably take you home."

y/n sits back up in her seat, gathering her trash and tossing it as well. "yeah, good idea." she says, blinking a couple times back into reality. for those 30 minutes they spent together, time seemed to pause.

the drive to y/n's house is silent, but not like before when they were leaving the party. the silence is comfortable. y/n admires the city lights that flash and flicker by, illuminating the area surrounding her. she looked at everything with such awe, appreciating little details in arbitrary things. it's something that matt loved most about her, something that chris would bring up to their mom when describing her. such a double-edged sword, the whole thing was. and yet, matt kept coming back for more.

he pulled up to her driveway, parking the car and turning to her. she smiles at him sincerely. "thank you," she grabs her high heels from the floor and opens the door, "for the food, for everything, really."

matt internally melts,"no problem, any time."

"goodnight, get home safe." she whispers, closing the door and walking to her front door

fuck it, matt. just say it.

he rolls down his window and raises his voice so she can hear him from the car, "oh, hey, for the record,"

"yeah?" she steps forwards a little, amused.

"fuck kenzie coy."

y/n erupts with laughter, putting a hand over her mouth as to not wake her neighbors.

"you're miles prettier than she'll ever be, i mean it."

she shakes her head bashfully. for the first time ever, he was seeing her get flustered by a compliment. "you're sweet." she reaches for her front door, "goodnight, matt."

"goodnight, y/n." matt rolls up his window, reversing back onto the street and driving away. once he was fully off her block, he silently cheered, gripping the steering wheel and rocking in celebration. if nick or chris were there, they would never let him hear of the end of how corny he was being. but he didn't care. they weren't there. truthfully, if the night had gone differently, he would've got out with her and talked more. but he was exhausted and so was she. the moment didn't call for it yet. he had time, he just had to bide it.

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lmk if u wanna be added, hotties !! if i hit the tag limit, i'll tag in the comments :))

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schmidtsgirl · 3 months

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You are in love -S.R

— Spencer Reid x fem!reader

— summary: in which your love for one another comes to light

— warnings: angst, light heartbreak, some cringe fluff. Writing fluff isn’t my usual writing style but i was in a mood. Proofread but maybe some errors

“ARE YOU IN LOVE?”

The question itself had caught you off guard, your hand you were using to write coming to a halt as you looked over at the man across the table. The music in the background suddenly seem to fade away in your head.

“Yet.. i mean” Spencer finished off his sentence. Shifting a little uncomfortable in his seat as your gaze lingered on him for a while.

You cleared your throat. “No, I don’t think so” you saw the way his eyes emptied out like he was expecting a better response from you, but truthfully was now the right time to just burst out the truth you were dearly in love with Spencer Reid?

“Oh” he went right back to looking at the files on the table. Bottom lip caught between his teeth, something he usually did when he was holding himself back from opening his mouth to speak again.

It fell into an uncomfortable silence now.

"are you?” Spencer snapped his head up to look at you so fast you thought he'd might hurt himself. There was something in the way he'd look at you told that you right there and then you might regret asking him that deeply Afraid you wouldn’t like the answer back.

A blush creeped up to his cheeks and neck, his fingers fumbling with his pen. God you were going to hate the answer back. “Yeah, I am actually” you felt like somebody had pushed a knife into your chest.

Like him before, oh. Was all you could say at that moment, throat becoming too tight to form a proper response back. You should have known that he’d been in love before, or is in love. because Spencer reid was somebody who fell for someone easily, like if they were to offer him candy, gift him some sort of book, sweater vest or even a old school watch. he'd swore he found his soulmate right then.

Masking up your hurt you prepared your heart for the next sentence you wanted to ask, “what was she like” your voice came out small. You were even surprised he actually heard it.

God you wished you could go back five minutes ago before he asked you that stupid question.

You saw the way a light formed in his eyes as he thought of his answer, it was then you realized he wasn’t joking when he’d said he’d been in love before. Because the way his eyes light up, was like he'd solved the worlds hardest equation.

“She is-“ he chuckled a bit obviously opening a book of memories in his head. “She’s so beautiful, kind and smart” you’d never seem that big of a smile on his face when talking about someone, besides his own mom.

You froze a bit, is?. You couldn’t form a response back which made matters worse because he rambled on about her. “She’s great to my mother and friends. The first time we met she brought flowers for my mom and afterwards she cooked this delicious meal, oh my God it was good, feels like I can still taste on my tongue oh and she-“ you could only nod your head at him, feeling like you had blacked out because you couldn't quite hear the rest of what he had to say.

you wished you'd told him how you felt sooner, because then you wouldn't be feeling like this, chest feeling heavy and the tightness in your throat almost hurting you at this point.

"and then I remember one time, she saw i was sad and took me to this movies" he stops himself mid-sentence chuckling at the memory "she brought me so much candy, the cashier looked at us crazy"

Oh …

"I remember I spent that weekend panicking on what I should make you"

realization hit you like a truck. "And she thought we had taken shrooms..." And then silence took over the both of you. You both now just looked at each other from across the table, the once work you both were working on long forgotten.

you both laughed a more comfortable feeling in the room set upon you both. but you couldn't help but still feel embarrassed from not realizing he was pointing you out in the story from the beginning.

"that was still the best pasta I've ever had" he pushed himself up and out of his chair, taking long steps to your end of the table.

you felt glued to your chair as he stood in front of you. Warm hands cupping your cheeks. you nervously gluped, chest heaving up and down the room suddenly felt ten times hotter than before.

"would you mind making it again for me, honey?" honey God you could die right at that moment

"i-i sure.. if you want... I don't mind...um" you nervously chuckled mouth moving faster than you could register.

Spencer softly moved a strand of hair away from your face, before leaning in lips brushing against yours so gently like he was afraid you'd run away. but it soon turned into more passionate, as your hands gripped onto each other wanting so desperately to export one another at that moment.

the position was uncomfortable, which made him lift you up and place you on the table standing between your legs. "Y/n" he muttered against your lips. "I love you"

you pulled away from the kiss, foreheads leaning against each other. "I love you too, Spencer"

#𝑳𝑬𝑿𝑰 𝑾𝑹𝑰𝑻𝑬𝑺 🏹#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x you #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid smut #criminal minds #criminal minds x you #criminal minds x reader #criminal mind fluff #criminal minds smut

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gentlyweeps-world · 3 months

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the truth

summary: Lance knew he fell hard, he knew he’d always come back to you, but he didn’t know how you felt.

pairing: lance stroll x reader

warnings: alcohol consumption | suggestive tones

genre: angst-fluff | lowkey toxic situationship

notes: inspired by the arctic monkeys “do I want to know” | I felt that lance needed more attention so here’s a small little fic 🫶

LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO

Lance was fucked. He’d never been in a “stable” or really long term relationship.

But when he saw you- when he first laid eyes on you, he fell in love.

He didn’t know a lot about you, you kept a lot of secrets, you kept him on his toes- not that he minded.

He dreamt of you often, almost every week. He knew he needed you in his life, he knew he needed to do something, to make you realize just how deep in you were with him- even if you truly weren’t.

There was a song that reminded him of you, he played it often, whenever it was a GP weekend, whenever he was traveling and definitely whenever he would go to sleep.

One night- the one where you actually hung out. He invited you over for dinner and wine.

It was a great night, all except the fact he accidentally spilt wine on you because he was so nervous.

“Oh shit- I’m so sorry..” Lance says, flushing up in embarrassment as he tries to help clean up the mess.

It was an honest mistake. You didn't care much, because you saw how nervous he was, the fact he felt embarrassed was sweet.

You looked back at him, smiling the sweetest smile you had, "No worries at all, I'm fine. Don't worry about it."

“Right- okay, uhm do you want to go on a walk?”

So you two went on a walk, it was a nice chilly night, the stars shining with the moon out.

He had noticed you were shivering so he offered you his jacket, which of course you accepted.

Wrapped up in the warmth of his coat you two eventually walked back to his place.

You both stood there in front of his place, smiling shyly, you both lean into a kiss.

As you two kissed, you felt Lance's fingers in your hair, brushing away any strands that had gotten in the way. At the touch of your lips, you could feel the passion within him.

When you two broke off, he looked a bit flustered, "Do you want to stay the night?" He whispered, a smile on his face that would make your heart burst.

Your eyes widened at his suggestion, you softly pull away. “No I’m sorry I can’t- I should actually go..” You said, suddenly turning and walking away without another word.

He was sad to see you go, he had hoped you would’ve stayed, hoped that you would have taken up his offer.

But maybe it was too much, he did get caught up in the moment, really it was too late at night for him to think about it.

Although that was a lie, he stayed up thinking of you, stayed up thinking of your hand against his, your lips against his.

He was busy falling for you, too busy to care about anything or anyone else.

So he did the only logical thing a person would do in that situation, he came crawling to you.

It was late one night, nearly 1 am, you had stumbled into your flat drunkenly.

You spent the night drinking away any thoughts or feeling towards Lance at a local bar, too scared to admit anything to him or yourself.

You heard the knock at your door, you knew it was Lance. You knew what he wanted.

He wanted to know if you felt the same, if you loved or even just liked him back.

Although he knew the truth, or at least part of it.

He knocks another time, your heart was beating as you knew what he wanted.

As he stood there waiting, he asked himself, do I really want to know?

You couldn't help but think about the way he looked at you, how his voice had slightly dropped since he had met you, how gentle he had been when you kissed.

He knocked a third time, you took a deep breath and opened the door, he was there, waiting patiently.

“Do you feel the same?”

Those five words broke you. You knew you couldn’t do it. You couldn’t be with him.

You didn’t want to tell him, you didn’t want him to know the truth.

But he needed to know.

“No”

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

radio 🪩: I was just in a silly goofy mood!! I you guys enjoyed this! let me know if you want more or have any requests!

don’t be shy to ask to be put on the taglist 💙

permanent taglist: @cixrosie @amajixi @i-wish-this-was-me @nelly187 @hannahwsworld @sltwins

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danikamariewrites · 6 months

Note

Hiiii can I ask for poly Xaden x reader x Liam

Where the reader is dating Xaden but has a crush on Liam and it's super obvious, but they are two oblivious to realize that Liam likes the reader too.

Dating Xaden and Liam hc

A/n: I wanted to have this done Tuesday to celebrate Iron Flame but I’m celebrating all week so cheers 🥂 I didn’t intend for this hc to be super long lol

Warnings: a lil bit of angst

You started dating Xaden a little after challenges started

You had beat him a few times and he was so taken with your strength and ability to fight

The last time you had handed his ass to him Xaden was staring up at you with heart eyes

It didn’t take Xaden long to ask you out after that. He wanted to ask you in the mat still but he thought you’d turn him down and didn’t want to embarrass himself

Your relationship was great as far as war college standards go

You had flying dates, late night walks, and the occasional picnic

You are infatuated with each other

One night there was a mishap in the dorms. A fight broke out and you couldn’t get out of the sea of bodies

You were panicked and unprepared. Your body shut down on you until you felt a pair of hands pick you up, taking you away from the chaos

When you were back in your room you saw it was Liam holding you. He tried to put you down but you just clung to him, holding back tears

Liam rubbed your back whispering, “it’s ok, Xaden will be here in any minute.”

After that night Xaden had Liam guarding you when he couldn’t

You slowly found yourself falling in love with Liam the way you loved Xaden

The two of you became fast friends and had inside jokes and you just loved being around him like you loved being around Xaden

You had spent nights alone crying over your feelings

At one point you pulled yourself together, giving yourself the ‘im a badass dragon rider why am I crying over boys?’ Speech

Xaden had a free day so he decided to spend it with you meaning Liam didn’t have to follow you around

You watched Liam from afar with a sad look on your face

Xaden noticed and he couldn’t help but feel hurt. He immediately shut down and stayed quiet for the rest of the day. He didn’t even kiss you goodnight

You had a feeling it was bc of Liam. It was time to be honest about your feelings for both of them no matter the outcome

You went to Xaden’s room early. Your hands shaking as you knocked on his door. After he let you in you wasted no time getting to the point, “I want to talk to you about yesterday. My feelings have not changed for you Xaden. I love you so much.” “Then why were you looking at Liam like that?” He didn’t drop that stoic look, his arms crossed over his broad chest.

Tears started forming in your eyes and you couldn’t hold back the sob you let out, “because I like Liam too, and I don’t want to have to choose between you two. I want you both,” you whispered that last part

Xaden made no move to comfort you. He was confused and didn’t know what to do. “We’ll talk about this later. Let’s go, or we’ll be late for classes.” You nodded, wiping at your eyes as you silently left the room

The day went on like normal. Liam still followed you around which surprised you, you thought Xaden would’ve told him not to stay with you today but he probably didn’t want you to walk around unguarded

Liam joked around with you as usual. He noticed that you were down all day so he tried to make you smile

When you came out to the flight field that afternoon you saw them speaking very animatedly. It seemed like a heated conversation that you didn’t want to interrupt so you kept walking to your dragon

Before dinner Liam walked you to Xaden’s room. You knew what was coming. The conversation where you have to pick one of them and feelings get hurt. But you didn’t want to pick between them, you want both of them

You stare at the floor to avoid their gazes. You couldn’t look either one of them in the eye right now. Xaden cleared his throat, “Liam and I talked, we came to an agreement and wanted to see what you were thinking.” You look up at him confused but hopeful. “What?” You ask looking between them

Liam looked at Xaden for permission. He dipped his chin at the blonde. “If you want to, no pressure at all, we are open to the idea of both of us dating you. If you don’t want that I will back off and you and Xaden go back to how things were.”

You couldn’t believe Xaden was willing to share you. But if it would be with anyone he’s ok with the other guy being Liam

You looked at Xaden, nervous and unsure. “You’re ok with this?” He walked over to you, holding your face in his hands. “Yes. If you’re happy, I’m happy. And who knows maybe I’ll fall for Liam.” You let out a small giggle as he kissed your forehead. “Good because I didn’t think I’d be able to pick between you two.”

Months have past since then. Getting into the new dynamic was hard, especially bc Xaden is so possessive of you but having time together was easy

Both of them are absolute gentlemen and love spoiling you. Their combined efforts to give you whatever you want and put together nice dates always leave you blushing. They’re a perfect team

You’re favorite is when you all have a sleep over in your room. Being squished between these two hunks is so relaxing you always fall asleep so fast

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asbealthgn · 1 year

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okay I keep seeing posts about steve dying in season 5 and I simply do not claim that energy BUT it got me thinking about what would happen if he did? and uuuh this lil baby ficlet about steve and eddie in the afterlife happened

———

Steve opens his eyes and there’s no monsters, no Upside Down, no Robin or Nancy or Dustin. There’s just the soft sound of water lapping against wooden boards, filtered afternoon light, and the dusty interior of Reefer Rick’s boathouse.

The hell?

“Good to see you again, Harrington.”

Steve sits up so fast that he would normally see stars at the edges of his vision. Guess being dead means that doesn’t happen anymore. Eddie Munson is leaning back against the wall, smoking a cigarette and grinning at him.

“What are—why—” Steve takes a breath and tries to gather his thoughts, because there are too many questions swirling around his head that he wants to ask. “Why am I here?”

Eddie raises his eyebrows. “Here, like, in the afterlife?” he asks, “I hate to break it to you, man, but you kinda died.”

“Yeah, no, I got that,” Steve says, “I mean, why here? In the boathouse?” If the afterlife is just this shitty little wooden structure he’s gonna be so mad.

But Eddie just shrugs. “Your guess is as good as mine, dude,” he says, “When I kicked it, I woke up in my chair at Hellfire. I think it’s supposed to be some place that was significant to you before you died.”

Significant. What’s significant about this place over any other place in Steve’s life? Unless… No. That’s ridiculous.

“Was anyone there?” Steve asked.

Eddie gets a sort of sad look on his face. “My mom,” he says, “She died when I was little.” But then his face brightens again. “She’s here! Not, like, here, in this moment, but around. I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t think I’d ever see her again.”

“That’s really nice,” Steve says. He wonders how it happened that Eddie is his welcome wagon to the Great Beyond. Probably because the only people Steve’s really lost have been distant family he never knew that well. Eddie was the first person whose death cut him right to the core.

Eddie pushes off the wall and crosses over to Steve, sitting cross-legged on the floor in front of him. “It’s so weird to talk about her,” Eddie says, “Because I’m so used to being sad about her being dead. But now so am I, and I’m getting to see her.”

“Where did your mom wake up, when she died?” Steve asks, wondering if maybe that’s too nosy of a question.

“She said it was the little café down the road from our old apartment,” Eddie says. “She always loved it ‘cause it got so much sun.”

The image makes Steve smile. He imagines Eddie sitting on a woman’s lap in a big, sunny window, watching people pass by outside. “So is that what the afterlife is?” he asks, “Just a whole bunch of places from our lives?”

Eddie shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m still trying to figure it all out,” he says, “I haven’t been dead that long, and anyway, time is funny here. I’ve explored a little, but there’s a lot to see. Mainly I’m trying to find some door that’ll let me go back to earth, because there are some people I would love to haunt the shit out of.”

Steve laughs. He could get behind that. Eddie reaches out and pokes him in the knee.

“So what makes the boathouse significant to you?” he asks, “I’ll be honest, I figured it would be, like, your house or something. I didn’t think you even knew Reefer Rick.”

“No, I didn’t,” Steve says, “The only time I’ve ever been here were those couple times with you.”

“So why…?” Eddie raises his eyebrows, waiting for some sort of explanation that would make Steve waking up in the afterlife in a place he’d spent a grand total of maybe two hours in make sense.

The only answer Steve can come up with is pretty embarrassing. He lets his eyes drift to the wall, the spot where Eddie had him pinned with that broken bottle. With everything else going on, he’d barely even had time to acknowledge that all of that had made him feel some very confusing things, because they had to rush off and help Max and kill Vecna and then try to kill him again when the first time didn’t stick. Steve hadn’t taken the time to muddle through why he felt so much every time Eddie grinned at him or touched him or called him big boy. Then Eddie had died, and it didn’t matter anyway, because nothing could ever become of it.

Except now Steve’s dead too. And Eddie’s here.

“Uh,” Steve says, stalling for time. Eddie follows his gaze over to the wall and then looks back at Steve.

“What’re you lookin’ at, big boy?” he asks.

And fuck, who knew blushing was possible in the afterlife? Steve meets Eddie’s eyes that are so dark in the shadows of the boathouse but that he’s seen glow gold in the sunlight. Something crosses over Eddie’s face and it’s like he knows what Steve’s thinking. He opens his mouth and starts to speak. “Steve—”

“D’you wanna go out sometime?” Steve blurts. He’s already dead; might as well take some risks, right?

Eddie laughs and Steve doesn’t know if it’s a good laugh or a bad laugh. But then he reaches out and takes Steve’s hand. “Yeah, I do,” he says, “I’ll be honest, I haven’t really come across any good date spots in the afterlife yet, but I’m sure they’re out there.”

Steve stands, pulling Eddie up with him. He looks at Eddie’s face, his eyes that are sparkling even in the shadows, his smile that has been so inviting from the very first second Steve saw it. “Bet we can find something,” he murmurs.

Grinning, Eddie pulls him over to the door and grabs the handle. “C’mon then, big boy,” he says, “Let’s explore.”

#probably not gonna write any more of this but i do like the idea of them figuring out how to haunt dustin #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #ficlet

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underdark-dreams · 7 months

Note

Hey idk if you only write Tav x character but I am STARVED!!! Starved I say! For Karach x Dammon content. It just makes so much sense and as someone who remained platonic with Karlach I still wanted her to get some action and seeing how Dammon was RIGHT! FUCKING! THERE! It makes sense that they could maybe hook up and he’s been invested in helping her too and huuuuuuuUUUUUUUUH.

I know you like writing about them tieflings so if eventually if you are able you could write the two of them going at it like the touch starved babies they both are (Karlach for obvious reasons and Dammon bc he’s probably focused on his work most of the time).

I’m still shook over your Rolan x Tav fanfic you wrote and I can’t wait to see what you write in the future!

Dammon x Karlach [Explicit]

Touchable

"Damn I'm good. And you, you're...very touchable." An infernal blacksmith and a Blood War veteran walk into a bar. Who would have guessed that Dammon is a natural when it comes to handling fire?

Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Gentle Angst, Sweet/Hot

Word Count: 3,460 [Read on AO3]

“Of course, you’ll need to install it yourself.”

"Of course, of course—can’t touch the giant flaming woman," Karlach grinned at him.

Dammon often noticed that Karlach smiled when things made her sad. He remembered the moment well, remembered each time he'd been given an opportunity to help tune that engine of hers.

Their most recent conversation stuck out with particular pain in his mind.

He'd spent many late nights burning the candles down in his room as he sketched and diagrammed and theorized. No matter how many sheets of parchment he filled, Dammon kept arriving at the same awful conclusion.

Even with his niche skills, he was all out of options for Karlach. She could either return to the sustaining fires of Avernus, or live on this plane however long she could manage before her engine was snuffed out.

Dammon couldn't even calculate whether she had years left or only months. Somehow, that made it so much more terrible.

Karlach took the news with superhuman optimism, the way she approached most things. She thanked him with tears in her eyes for at least giving her back the chance to touch and be touched. For that, her first hug in ten years was his.

Hopefully it wouldn't be the last, Dammon found himself thinking, as her warm body pressed up firmly against him. She wasn't the only one who was long overdue for some physical affection.

Dammon had always thought of her now and then as he worked in his forge. Usually it was idle and passing, wondering whether her infernal parts were giving her any trouble.

But lately, it was hard to shake her from his mind at all. Had she found someone to finally take to bed yet? Surely so, with how many years she'd be confined to unwilling celibacy.

It embarrassed him to admit, but he fervently wished it could've been him. He wasn't much more than a humble smith, and she was practically the city’s hero at this point. How many times had she saved his own life? He'd lost track.

All these thoughts ran through Dammon's mind from where he sat at the bar of the Blushing Mermaid. As he surfaced from his reflection, the din and noise of the place pressed against his ears again.

Not as reputable as the Elfsong, perhaps, but it was closer to his forge. And it was easier to be left to yourself when all the other patrons were already piss-drunk.

"Hey, soldier!"

A friendly hand clapped his back, causing Dammon to nearly choke on his pint as Karlach slid into the seat beside him.

"Sorry," she said with a grimace, but her eyes were sparkling. "Gods, am I glad to see you."

Dammon wiped his mouth in surprise as she swung her very large mug up on the table. "You too, Karlach," he said with a genuine smile. It was like the very strength of his thoughts had conjured her. She looked better than ever.

"I didn't expect to see you here," he admitted. "I thought you'd be out enjoying the new you."

"Fucking someone's brains out, you mean?" Karlach finished for him. Dammon found her bluntness unbelievably attractive.

"To be honest that's why I'm here," she admitted, and rubbed her neck with a hand. "Camp's a bit awkward at the moment. I may have made a pass at Wyll that wasn't, er…enthusiastically received. Think I scared him off a bit," she finished ruefully.

Very much Wyll's loss, Dammon thought to himself. What he wouldn't give.

"Well, you picked the right place for drowning sorrows," he told her aloud. As if on cue, there was a loud chorus of booing as an empty glass went hurtling across the room to land on the low stage, where the half-orc lute player promptly lobbed it back into the crowd with a shattering crash. Dammon raised his arm out in demonstration of his point; Karlach was already cracking up.

"Fucking missed this city," she laughed, wiping a tear of mirth from her eye. They each took a generous drink of ale.

But Karlach wasn't distracted for long. "I just wish, you know?" She sighed. "I wish I could be with someone who understands a little bit. Sex is fabulous on its own, but I want everything, all of it."

"What's stopping you?" Dammon asked her, wondering what it would take for her to see him as a very viable option.

"So many things," she said. "I appreciate what you've done for me Dammon, please believe that I do, but…I still feel more machine than Karlach."

"I'm pretty handy with mechanics, you know." Dammon was flirting with her despite himself. He couldn't help it; she was so radiant and lovely as she sat there close beside him.

Karlach finally glanced over at him, and he saw in her eyes that she'd caught it.

"You must know I like you," she said, her voice low but intense. "Dammon, I like you so much. But you're so lovely, and I'm—" She gestured a hand down her front. "—This. Wild, unstable. What if I end up, I don't know, hurting you somehow?” She looked at him with a pained expression. “A guy like you deserves someone tender, and I'm not sure that's me."

All traces of joking were gone; the air between them had grown serious in a second. Dammon's heart thrummed strong against his ribs, and he reached for her fingers before he could stop himself.

"Maybe forget what you think I deserve, and listen to what I’m saying." He shook his head at her. "Karlach, you talk like you're some kind of monster. So you've got an infernal engine in your chest. And sure, you're tall as hell. But I mean, you've got plenty of—you're not short on any of the—" He was casting around for a gentlemanly way to describe her curves and realizing that it probably didn’t exist.

"Spit it out," Karlach teased him. But her expectant expression made his face grow warm.

"I just wish you wouldn't talk down about yourself like that," Dammon explained. "You're very womanly, and plenty desirable."

"Oh," she said, taken aback. Her free hand fiddled with the handle of her mug. "That's…no one's ever said something like that to me before."

What a damn shame that was. Dammon watched the doubt and confusion work over her features. How long had she thought of herself as nothing more than a tin soldier? He'd fixed what parts of her his hands could tend, but something in the way she saw herself was still broken.

Dammon squeezed her fingers under his. "Karlach, there's so much about you to love. That I love. You are…an incredibly beautiful woman. Don't you know that?"

Karlach stared at him with wide eyes; her face looked somehow younger and softer. For a person so sure of everyone else's worth, she seemed so blind and unsure of her own.

"I am?" She asked, so quietly it broke his heart a little.

Dammon could only think of answering with a kiss. He leaned in with a careful tilt of the head, eyes on her mouth—in the last second he was elated to feel her lean forward to close the distance.

He would've honestly, truly believed that there were sparks between them. There was the fiery warmth of her skin, but Dammon also felt a tingling jolt between their lips that had nothing to do with her heat. His insides sung at the feeling of her lips moving over his with just as much urgency as he felt.

Dammon pulled her face deeper to him with a hand at the back of her neck. As his tongue explored her mouth and sought hers, he felt one of Karlach’s palms rest against his thigh. He could have choked on the desire that rose in his throat at her touch.

They both pulled away at the same instant.

"Your place?" She prompted, breathless.

"Mine," Dammon agreed. It was only a few minutes away, and though his bed was cramped even for one, he expected they wouldn't be sleeping much.

Dammon dumped some coin on the bar in a rush before they made their way outside. The cool breeze through the streets made him realize just how flushed and heated his skin was. His arm sought Karlach's waist beside him as they walked, and a thrill went through him at how lovely it was to finally hold her close. She seemed to feel the same.

"Gods, I can't wait to ride you," she said huskily. Dammon tried to keep a grip on his composure; her brazen eagerness made it very difficult. He settled for pulling her into a quick, heated kiss as they continued on.

The two of them practically stumbled over the dark cobblestones of the entryway in their haze, both buzzing with impatience and expectation. By the time his nervous fingers had finally made work of the lock to his quarters, they were on each other before the door had latched behind them.

Karlach's leg hitched up over his hip as she devoured his mouth. Dammon's hand gripped behind her knee at once, holding their bodies steady against each other, kissing her back with sheer years of pent-up enthusiasm.

"You're strong," Karlach said as she surfaced, sounding pleased and surprised at once.

"'I'd hope so, after throwing around that hammer so long."

"You can throw me around." After a pause she added, "That's an invitation."

"I got that," Dammon grinned, absolutely smitten with her, and captured her lips again.

He guided them both toward the far end of his room and tumbled over her when they reached the mattress. His hands grazed the edge of her shirt, desire muddling his understanding of how to undo the many buckles and straps.

She took more pity on him than he deserved. Almost before he could blink she had freed herself of all her clothing, laying back naked before him on his bed. Pale, dim moonlight from the window illuminated her figure.

She was extraordinary.

Dammon quickly tugged his shirt past his snagging horns, wishing to feel her skin against his as soon as possible. Even before his head was free, he felt Karlach’s fingers helping with his pants, tugging them down past his hips and sliding them off onto the floor.

He hovered over her as they gazed at each other. The promise of bare flesh against flesh was almost overwhelming, now they were here. Dammon leaned down to place a tender kiss on her lips and then descended to explore her neck.

Karlach’s arms clutched him eagerly as he kissed along her soft, warm skin. When he made his way down to her chest, he placed lips tenderly above her breast where the soft ticking of machinery resounded. It may not be a flesh and blood heart, but its rhythm was no less dear to him. She let out a soft, low hum.

Dammon wished he had more patience to linger. But instead he pushed his body down between her thighs, glancing up to check in on her for just a moment. Karlach watched him with a pained expression, lips parted—as if afraid he might not follow through with what his movements suggested.

He wouldn't be teasing her for one second tonight. Dammon leaned down and ran the warm flat of his tongue up over her center.

His head was jerked slightly to the side as she grabbed at one of his horns with a moan. He didn't break from her, only licked at her steadily, smoothing and spreading her wetness up and over her soft folds.

Even after all the work he'd done to cool her, she was still molten hot under his tongue—he thanked every god in the universe for his natural resistance. His lips closed firmly over her clit, sucking the spot as his tongue rolled her side to side in an achingly slow rhythm.

"Holy fuck," she panted from somewhere above him. "Holy fuck, Dammon—"

He curled one arm under and around her thigh, used thumb and index finger to spread her better for his mouth. He released his lips’ suction with an obscenely wet sound, replacing it with the circling pad of his thumb. She was delicious, but he sought to taste her deeper.

Dammon's tongue plunged deep into her cunt, so far that his nose pressed against where his fingers worked against her clit.

Karlach cried out and squirmed violently under his mouth. Dammon's arms held her firm, angling her hips up and open against his searching mouth. His tongue thrust over and over unto her unbelievable heat as he tasted the sweet center of her, felt her satin walls constrict around him with each nudge of his tongue.

By now his own erection pressed painfully into the bed under him. He only shifted a little and continued on. She had so much more time to make up for, and Dammon was determined to be the one to satisfy her.

It wasn't long before Karlach's thighs were trembling against his ears. "Please," she whimpered desperately, nails clutching his hair to hold his face against her, as if begging him not to stop. He wouldn't have dreamed of it. His mouth worked her over with more enthusiasm than ever, swirling and sucking against her hot folds.

When she came around his tongue, the rush of her heat burst against his mouth and gushed out from her core. Dammon thought he might come just from the way her legs clenched desperately to keep his mouth working over her. He lapped up her sweet release faithfully with his tongue, even as his ears took in the far sweeter sounds of her shuddering, gasping moans.

Only once the twitching waves of her climax were receding under his lips did he glance up over her to see her face.

Karlach’s eyes were closed, an expression of transcendent bliss painting her features. As he watched her pant through parted lips, her eyes opened slightly to look down at him where he still hovered between her thighs. He knew the lower half of his face must be dripping with her climax.

With a guttural sound, Karlach’s legs gripped around his middle to pull him just to where her arms could take over and guide him up over her. Dammon gathered himself just in time to land with palms braced on either side of her.

“Wait—” Dammon started, wishing to clean himself up first, but she was already pulling him into a kiss. She licked across his lips, tasting herself on him, before her tongue demanded entry into his mouth. He yielded more than willingly.

His painfully hard cock grazed her thigh as he moved over her. Karlach groaned into his mouth; the vibration of her lips against his sent yet another rush of blood to his throbbing length.

She broke away with a fresh glint of arousal already building behind her eyes. “Inside,” she directed him. “Right fucking now.”

Dammon needed no more encouragement. With fingers grasping under her back, he firmly lifted her body up and over his lap. The way she landed over him pressed her still-dripping heat against the underside of his cock. A trembling groan escaped him at the sensation. Nevertheless, he gathered himself enough to scoot back against the headboard for support.

Before he could fully prepare himself, Karlach’s hand had guided his tip between her folds. In the next motion, she descended down around his whole length at once.

“Fuck,” Dammon gasped. He wished he could find something more eloquent or romantic to describe the feeling, but his mind was wholly overwhelmed by the fiery warmth that gripped all around his cock. He could even feel her walls still fluttering against him from her recent climax. His fingertips dug into the flesh of her hips.

They crossed glances as she sat still to take him for a moment. Karlach’s eyes shone with desire and excitement, and something almost like love. One of Dammon’s hands slid up along her spine, dipping her neck down, capturing her lips in a tender kiss. He felt his mouth shaking slightly against hers.

“Every time alone, I imagined this,” Karlach breathed against him as they parted.

Dammon thought he might unravel completely at her words. He leaned back against the hard wood behind him, eyes taking in every beautiful inch of her flesh, inviting her to do whatever she wanted with him.

She accepted the offer wordlessly. As her fingers clasped behind his neck, Karlach rocked her hips up and down over his length. He felt his jaw go slack at the feel of her heat surrounding him, taking him, over and over and over—

Dammon’s grip dug into her hips to add more force with each of her rhythmic thrusts down onto him. He gazed up at her with pure adoration as she took him. The feel of her warm skin against his lit a fire in his chest; his cock throbbed against the hot, squeezing silk of her walls.

“You’re so beautiful,” Dammon gasped before he could think. It was the truth, and she deserved to be told it—she deserved everything. He held her tight on his lap as took him, chasing her next release. Karlach’s hips faltered for a moment, and he realized she was already close.

Dammon felt her thighs trembling against him and pushed his back up straight to hold her closer as she rode his length. His palms pressed against her back, strong forearms circling and supporting her as she started to come apart yet again.

And she did—with a shuddering quake, Karlach grabbed his shoulders and let out a jumbled cry that was some mix of obscenities and his name.

She was incredible. Dammon watched the agony and ecstasy on her face as long as he could bear, as she rode out her second orgasm onto him, as her tight heat gripped and pulsed relentlessly around his cock. In the next moment his eyes squeezed shut as he was thrown wide to the delayed force of his own release, his hands spasming against her back as stars burst bright behind his eyelids.

After a long moment filled with nothing but the sounds of them keening and panting against each other, her chin dropped over his shoulder. Dammon felt her arms circle to grip around him tight.

As he listened to her breathing slow, she began to shake against him again.

This time it was from the quiet sobs that heaved up from her chest. He held her head against the crook of his shoulder and stroked her hair as her tears flowed, feeling the droplets splash against and roll down his back.

Karlach cried from joy, blessed relief, aching sadness…from the pain of so much lost time and the knowledge of her limited future. It wasn't fair, none of it, and Dammon didn't know a single thing to say that might ease her burdened heart.

Engine or no, she had more heart than anyone he'd ever known. He could only hold her to him tight as could be.

Seeking to comfort her further, Dammon worked his hips down the bed with her seated on him and tipped their connected bodies gently backwards. She collapsed without resistance on top of and against him. At least he could support her for a while, even if it was just with his silent body.

After a little while, Karlach raised her head to look at him. Her face was streaked with tear tracks, but she was trying to smile through trembling lips. "I'm s-sorry," she choked out.

Dammon’s heart couldn’t bear it. He silenced her at once with a kiss. "Don't apologize to me," he whispered to her as he broke away, "or to anyone, ever."

He gathered her back up in his arms immediately. Karlach didn’t protest, only rested her cheek against his chest with a shuddering sigh. Dammon was vaguely aware of the sheen of sweat cooling all over his bare skin, but with her warm body nestled back up against him, he was more than comfortable.

Dammon pressed his lips to the skin of her forehead. He closed his eyes to focus on the way his heart beat against her chest; the steady hum of her body reverberated against him in response. Despite everything, the sound was dearer to him than he thought possible.

“Ready to go again?” Karlach asked suddenly.

Dammon chuckled low in his chest, feeling the delayed ache in his limbs and realizing a bit late that the night’s exertions had only just begun.

“Give me a few minutes,” he requested with a lazy smile. “We’ve got time.”

#i love them i love them i love them #pls someone tell me their ship name #karlach x dammon #dammon x karlach #kardammon #bg3 karlach #bg3 dammon #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 spoilers #baldur's gate 3 #infernal metal #heartforge

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somberrock · 1 year

Text

HARD BOY.

Genre: angst, hurt/no comfort

Summary: Scaramouche regrets pushing you away when he sees that you’re no longer by his side.

tw: angsty angst <3

inspired by the song ‘Hard Boy.’ Definitely check it out ;)

A certain indigo-haired individual found himself staring at the red analogue clock hung up in the classroom, watching the seconds tick by.

He didn’t know why, but he was feeling especially anxious for this specific class to end.

The bell soon rang, prompting all the students in the classroom to immediately jump up from their seats and hurriedly pack their things up before leaving the classroom.

Usually, Scaramouche would be one of these students, but today, he found himself lingering by his desk for just a second too long.

He blinked, snapping out of his daze. What am I waiting for? He wondered, Ugh, I’m out of it today.

As he walked down the hallway, he remembered why he stopped, and it embarrassed him quite greatly.

Out of pure muscle memory and instinct, he had waited for you to stop him from leaving the classroom, preparing himself for another one of your cheesy gifts and cheeky grins thrown his way. But today, there was none of that.

Why?

Thoughts began to trickle into his mind, each one making a certain sense of dread suffocate him. Why was he expecting you? Worse of all, why did he feel a little disappointed now that he realized you hadn’t stopped by his desk at all today?

He shook his head, clearing his mind of any thoughts about you. Maybe you were just busy. After all, you did have a lot of extracurriculars, and of course, friends, which you had an abundance of, unlike him.

Scaramouche calmed himself, confident that he’d see you tomorrow.

He did not see you the next day.

Or the day after that. Nor the day after that.

Slowly, days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months. Before he realized it, a whole three months had passed since he last saw you.

Nothing had changed in his life, really. Everything was accounted for, minus your presence. But now, he felt as though your presence was the only thing that mattered.

Every second he spent alive was spent missing your presence, missing that big beautiful smile that adorned your features whenever you approached him, showering him in gifts and compliments.

You knew exactly what he liked and disliked, and he didn’t even need to tell you. You just… knew.

You could read him like a book. One glance at him and you knew if he was sad or happy, angry or upset, disappointed or annoyed.

You had paid so much attention to him, had been so meticulous and careful and thoughtful. You were so warm and welcoming, like a ball of sunshine in his otherwise bleak and dreary life.

He wasn’t the same way.

Instead of being thankful, he had pushed you away with cold glares and harsh words that would’ve caused any other to crack. Not you. You endured months of his insults and behavior and just him in general.

But he should’ve known that someone like you was desired. He deserved it, really. He was the one that had pushed you away, he was the one that ruined his chances with you.

So if he knew this, why did it hurt so much to see you not by his side, but by another’s?

Scaramouche had taken you for granted, and he realized that now, seeing you smile at that other person the same way you used to smile at him.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin angst #angst #hurt/no comfort #scaramouche #kunikuzushi #high school au #modern au

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strawberry-jan · 5 months

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I had thought that my days of writing long fandom effort-posts were behind me but then I finished Gaiden and welp, here I am. I ugly sobbed at the ending and then spent the next several hours ugly sobbing in textual form at friends. I have some thoughts; I am going to put a few spoiler-heavy ones (read: a lot of them) under the cut after this brief (read: lengthy) spoiler-free introduction.

Y6 and Y7 left me feeling like the writers should’ve just retired Kiryu from the series after Y5, even if it meant leaving him lying there in the snow and never following up on whether he’d actually made it back to Haruka or was just dreaming. I have complained at length about nearly every aspect of Y6, but since it’s directly relevant to my feelings about Gaiden, let me state my gripe with the ending specifically: it was an absolutely bizarre move to position that game’s ending (1) after Y5 and (2) within a game that hits the player over the head repeatedly with the message that setting yourself on fire to keep other people warm is a mistake that hurts not only you but also those around you.

Kiryu walks down the sunny path away from Morning Glory at the end of Y6, and everything about the framing suggests that even though it’s bittersweet, it ultimately tends toward sweet: the old generation has made way for the new, Yuta is there to look after Haruka in Kiryu’s place (don't get me started on this), and his family is safe for good. The problem with this is that it’s a shit resolution considering the game’s themes and also a devastating ending specifically for Kiryu. We’ve just come off the heels of Y5, where it’s more obvious than ever that despite his gruff, stoic exterior, at heart he’s a warm, caring man who badly needs to be with the people he loves. Exiling himself to Nagasugai made him unspeakably unhappy; what he wants, and what everyone in his family wants, is to be together, and this is something that Y6 harps on initially and then forgets in its ending. Walking away from Morning Glory forever is condemning himself to a lingering death and neither Y6 nor Y7 acknowledges this meaningfully. (Y7, in fact, is infuriating about this; Kiryu’s cameo there felt so cheap and unnecessary that I, one of the man’s biggest fans, was irritated at seeing him there.) It would have been kinder to just kill him outright at the end of Y6.

In that context, Gaiden feels like an apology that also tells you, gently, that we're at the end of an era - for real this time.

Like a Dragon Gaiden: The Man Who Still Thinks Sunglasses Are a Proper Disguise is a roughly 25-hour outing (depending on how much time you sink into mahjong and whether you can get over your embarrassment long enough to close your blinds and watch the painfully awkward live-action hostess videos) in which the writers spend most of the run-time reassuring you, “Yes, actually, we do understand this character and the ramifications of his decision.” There are so many points in the story where it comes up that his family is the one thing that Kiryu wants and the one thing he can’t have. He’s explicit about his desire; you can go so far as to ask a wish-granting vagrant in a silly substory full of Dragon Ball (and also ball) jokes to give him his happy, peaceful life back, because even when Kiryu’s up to his balls in testicular puns, that’s what’s on his mind. There’s no façade that he puts up; the game simply acknowledges this want and goes, “Yes, that was the lesson you learned and discarded; sorry that you can’t act on it anymore, but that window closed in 2016 when you decided to die instead of taking the briefcase full of cash.”

So. This is sad enough. But what really broke me about the ending – and what I know really broke a lot of other people – was the fact that it’s so devastatingly clear that even if Kiryu were to have taken the Omi’s terrible offer to do away with Hanawa and get himself back to Okinawa, it wouldn’t have mattered. I think the writers were very deliberate about having everyone refer to the “kids in Okinawa” (yes, also in Japanese) when they make threats toward Kiryu’s family or talk about his desire to see them again. Kiryu thinks of them as his kids, but when he looks at the recording on Hanawa’s tablet, he sees adults with adult jobs and adult lives of their own. They love him, but their world has moved on without him, and there are no “kids in Okinawa” to return to; all this time, Kiryu has been clinging to a vision of his peaceful life with his kids that doesn’t exist and, in fact, cannot exist anymore. The series has always taken place (barring the spinoffs) roughly in the present moment with real time passing between entries, and I’ve never felt it so painfully acutely as I did in that moment when Kiryu realizes that Haruto can write.

And this is all of a piece, I think, with the speech he gives earlier in the game about wanting to do right by Kazama, Nishiki, and Yumi – more idealized visions of people he once knew and still loves. Hell, even though I’m disappointed not to get the fanservice that would’ve been Kiryu talking to Daigo, Majima, and Saejima at length, none of those members of the old guard have interacted with him since he left the hospital and went to jail at the start of Y6. It’s not just his kids who have moved on: Daigo is doing things for himself without sneaking back into Suzuki Taichi’s life to beg him for advice, and though Majima does roll his eye at Kiryu and tell him to stick around for a bit after the brawl (and the little knife-throw made me go hohohoh because I'm shameless and will take whatever scraps the studio deigns to give me), he and Saejima are bickering and joking around with each other like an old married couple. They’ve moved on, too, and Kiryu’s world is ghosts all the way down.

It's not all miserable, of course. I do genuinely love that Kiryu’s kids are happy, and although Kiryu sobs that he needed them more than they needed him, that seems more like a function of his chronically low self-esteem than anything based in reality. You can tell that the Morning Glory kids regarded him as a positive force in their lives and that they still do as adults – Taichi, for instance, says that he decided to be a firefighter because he wanted to protect people like Kiryu did. Kiryu’s family looked up to him but, crucially, without falling into the cycle that Kiryu did when he looked up to his own father figure. And it really warms my heart that clearly Haruka has been telling Haruto about her dad, such that the kid knows enough about oji-san to draw a picture of him with the rest of his family. I think a lot of other media’s writers would have chosen to make the Morning Glory kids bitter about Kiryu’s absence, to have them resent their dad for repeatedly disappearing on them. Maybe they did in fact feel upset with him for a while, but the video presents them all as happy and hopeful that maybe someday their not-dead dad will come back to have a drink with them – and I do hope that Y8 allows this to happen in some way. It wouldn’t be a return to his old life, but it would be something.

Anyway: I’d feel weird about talking at such great length about all of this without talking about the Big Dissolution Brawl and everything around it. It's all connected, after all. Just as Kiryu comes to the painful acknowledgement that his little world has moved on, so too does he have to beat it into Shishido’s skull that the organization that he’s still clinging to is a thing of the past. It’s not just that anti-Yakuza laws are making it more difficult for them to function and that the police and politicians have found ways to use them as scapegoats and pawns. It’s also that everyone who’s been in the business long enough understands that even the best men among them are still bastards and their organizations aren’t worth saving. Tsuruno – probably my favourite new character – is a fiercely loyal man who’s known for taking guys like Shishido under his wing; he also has no compunctions about plotting to murder Hanawa, threatening Kiryu’s family as a manipulation tactic, threatening Kiryu himself with a red-hot branding iron, and using Kiryu as an accessory to murder. Notable cool dude Watase made use of the Kijin Clan because their assassination services were necessary for him to get ahead, and he and Tsuruno readily discard Nishitani III the second he becomes a liability – gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet, after all. (I am not going into anything else about whatever the writers thought they were doing with Nishitani. I think there was something to do there with the game's interest in names and legacy but then, in classic RGG Studio fashion, they forgot to elaborate on it in any meaningful way.) For the first time since the late 80s, Kiryu is even forced to explicitly consider Kazama’s faults – albeit only briefly, and only in a substory.

Shishido himself wants to be the final boss of a previous game as if there's some kind of throne left to contend for (and his final fight is actually pretty reminiscent of the brawl with Aizawa, a high point in the series). And, at Kiryu’s insistence, he’s allowed to get out his blustering final speech about it – but he shouts about refusing to allow the old guard to dismantle the structure he’s ascended while everyone around him who actually matters is standing there, like, “Dude, the Tojo and Omi are over; read the room.” We're playing through the epilogue to Kiryu's saga, and we're seeing everything that drove that saga's conflicts being tied up or taken apart as needed. The kids will be alright no matter what happens to Kiryu, and while we already saw the Tojo Clan bite it in Y7 after its long decline over the course of the series, we're finally seeing that from the perspective of the guy who prolonged things by shoving Daigo into the chairman's seat and coming back to Kamurocho once a year or so for a Millennium Tower punch-out. Kiryu even acknowledges that, like Shishido, he loves this shit - "You hear someone out there's stronger... And soon your only thought is how to defeat them," he tells the man. But he goes on to say that that dream is meaningless in the face of other people's daily struggles. Again, it's time for everyone to move on. It's time for you as the player to move on, and you're being given one last real-time shirt-rip brawl against a man who won't accept that the era is over in order to underscore the point that it's over.

I’m not entirely sure how to finish this already too long post. There's a lot I haven't even touched on. I will say that I love Hanawa and Akame and Tsuruno. I love going back to Sotenbori. I love yet another game in which I can slam through the koi-koi and mahjong completion lists. I love all the callbacks and the sequence in the castle where you fight not-Kiryu and they've given him Gun and Sword like some kind of budget Sakamoto Ryoma. I love playing dress-up with my big burly guy. I love everything about the big boys’ night out in Chapter 4. I love that immediately after being tortured by Daidoji agents Kiryu can wander into the next room over to ask for a turn on their Sega Master System. I love how funny this game is when it's not socking me repeatedly in the gut. More than anything, I love that even though Kiryu’s enduring the world’s most drawn-out death sentence he’s still Kiryu and he’ll still snark at people and get really into little cars and involve himself in people's problems at the drop of a hat. I wish that I’d gotten to see Kiryu getting tripe with the old Tojo guard at the end of the game, but that’s what fic is for. I will not be writing that fic any time soon because I’m still way too deep in my feelings about this game to write anything cheerful about it. As I said, Gaiden feels like an apology, and while it made me cry harder than a video game has ever made me cry before, I’m so happy to have received it.

#like a dragon gaiden #there are no spoilers above the cut but if you click through uhhh watch out #this was an embarrassing number of words SORRY #and I hardly touched on some aspects of the plot

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yril-writes · 10 months

Text

— HATE LOVE

synopsis ; have you ever hated love? Who knew that the man you loved so deeply, hated the fact that he ever loved you. How would you feel?

scenario ; this is a "pinagtagpo pero hindi tinadhana" setting translation: you met but not destined. Even if Sukuna stopped visiting in the flower shop, having to encounter each other every time in different places only says it's a small world.

"I hate that I love you this much, when you can't even love me the way that I do. I hate myself for holding onto you, my love..."

type ; drabble

include/s ; ryoumen sukuna

pairing/s ; yakuza character x fl! reader

genre ; romance, angst and a hint of sad depressed corn

I still remember my memories from my past life, I still remember her in that life. "Sukuna, promise me that you'll find me in our next life." she said those words like the sweetest thing I could ever taste. I love her. More than anything in this world. So I promised to find her, in the process I get to meet her grandparents. They would always tell stories about her, just by listening to them it seemed to me that she has the best times of her life despite that she is alone living in their hometown. And I reflected on it, how much of a life we had back in our last life.

And it wasn't much, we met at a very weird scenario we weren't that perfect at all, but I remembered how I took for granted your feelings before without knowing that she would only have so little time to spare living, I felt like an idiot pushing her away back then. I wasted my time arguing, hating, ignoring her when I could've just stayed by her side and spent more time. I didn't want to see her die in front of me, so I broke our promise. I didn't look for her specifically but just knowing about her was enough until one day I saw her. The old lady who was managing the flower shop is in the hospital she said, I never actually imagined myself being able to hear her voice, to see her up close and to even catch a scent of her. (I missed her so much...) looking into her eyes, it seemed to be that her memories of the past didn't actually come to her, she is just a mere granddaughter who manages her grandmother's shop.

That is why I decided to stay away from her, to avoid getting myself in a deep hole again, I didn't want to see her suffering slowly dying again in my arms. But faith and destiny wouldn't leave me be, wherever I go I see her. At town and even random streets. But I didn't mind it at all. "Mr. Yakuza, I've been seeing you a lot from here now! I'm kinda getting used to it!" she cheerfully says it out loud without being embarrassed. But you felt happy despite all of it. "Well, you should stop stalking me. Who's the Yakuza now?" I can't stop myself when I am with her, I just can't ignore her, I crave for her. Even though this is wrong, he just couldn't stop this spilling feeling of euphoria, time flies when you're having fun they say and it's true, it didn't take long enough when she finally confessed to him.

"Sukuna, I like you. Spending time like this with you feels natural, it's as if I already know you from the very beginning...why is that?" hearing those words knocked him back to reality, history repeats itself as they say. Sukuna realizes that getting close to you only puts you in danger, having to repeat losing you the second time Sukuna cannot take that risk at all. Now his only option is to push you away, to keep things in control, to take it all back. "No, I'm sorry but I don't feel the same way as you do..." words like this left a sour taste on Sukuna's tongue, even though he didn't mean to say any of those things he still did for her sake. "I hate being with you like this, I am sorry that I don't feel the same way as you do. I hope that...you'd find someone...good enough..." Sukuna feels lost right now, just the sight of her face slowly coming into tears breaks him. It breaks him to see you like this.

But if it's for your sake, he would do anything even if he has to push you away from him. He would do anything, if history repeats itself. That is why he chose to make you hate him so that it would be easy for you to leave him, without any regrets. "I hate you...Sukuna, is my love for you not enough? Am I not enough?" tears soon shed and chests aching. "I hate that I love you this much, when you can't even love me the way that I do. I hate myself for holding onto you, my love..." but of course he can't say that now, can't he. Now, Sukuna is standing alone watching the woman he once loved disappear right from his very eyes, again.

"I would never want to see you slowly die in my arms again, I'll hate love until the very end for not letting us to be together in this life...maybe in another life..."

a/n ; I was frowning typing these pieces. I hate it I think I am not gonna sleep well for tonight. 11:41 pm.

taglist ; @sammushy @ryuuudesuwa @gcj-doesart @jasugoi

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content/s ; part one | part two

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