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wanderingpages · 4 years

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Hi!! I binge read all of your drabbles and ur work is SO GOOD!!! Like holy shit I felt the sexual tension in your works more than the original books tbh. Do you have any writing tips? Any inspiration? I LOVE LOVE LOVE your writing style and i really hope I can write like you some day.

Thank you so much!

Sexual tension is my MO ngl I like writing foreplay more than actual sex scenes lol.

You will most likely consume what you want to create, adapt from what you picked up on and stray from things you disliked, so...

Below the cut is a load of advice you definitely don’t need from me:

Movies, books, poetry, music, social media - and not just stuff in your social circle or specific niche, explore out side your comfort zone. Take that 4 am Youtube rabbit hole all the way down, my guy.

Baz Luhrmann is really good with aesthetics so it’s nice to watch his movies if just for the visual appeal. Also Romeo + Juliet was A+ dialogue - which is something you should also pay attention to; I hate hoity toity proper speech dialect so I never write period pieces 🤷🏻‍♀️ I watched this art house French film called Blow Up and I hated it so much but I still appreciated it?? It made no sense but I still liked certain things about it. Clueless, it’s just the best adaption of Jane Austen’s Emma and it’s incredible that it’s not even discernible because it’s so innovative. Quinten Tarentino is really good at telling stories so I like looking for all his plot twists even if I don’t like the movie as much. (I hated death proof so much but it was still interesting to watch). Pulp fiction, how three different stories turn into one was incredible to me and I loved that even in the original grudge movie remakes. Boring movies, scary movies, funny movies, what did you like/hate, how would you change it and why. Similarly with series and shows, what makes it good in your eyes? Don’t copy it, but try to emulate that.

Kids books, just quick ganders are enough. Most of them are actually clever with alliteration, metaphors or rhyme schemes/ rhythm and while juvenile, it’s easily adaptable. The Stinky Cheeseman by Jon Scieszka is the reason I’m hilarious and dark lol. Read stuff you hate; I read The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides, and I absolutely could not get through it without skimming. One passage, I didn’t even know I was reading a sex scene until something about kissing was mentioned. I get it though (based on what the story was about - the male narrators' obsession with the girls who were practically mysterious creatures - an obsession that lasted thirty years after the suicides) I can see why A LOT of word play was used. It makes sense, and it is beautiful sometimes, flowery, don’t get me wrong, BUT turns out I dislike purple prose and I try not to use it too often. The Stranger, by Albert Camus, made me really like reading (and hearing people talk) about absurd philosophy and existentialism. To this day, it’s still one of my favorite pieces of writing. I think it helped me realize you CAN write the way you think and it can still be interesting even if the topic is so incredibly dense. Adding commas and em dashes and parenthesis can actually set a pace. Just as short sentences can set a tone. Read outside your favorite genre, read some 1990 contemporary ya or some super boring 2019 new adult. Read stuff with plot and without plot. Find out why you hate or like a character, why a character you don’t like is still detrimental or a character you love only works well as a secondary character.

But, even books you like, don’t kiss the authors ass. I cannot stress this enough! Especially on this here website! Ive seen people go to great lengths to prove their author can do no wrong at all, and in contrast, I’ve seen people tear down authors like that person is Hitler. There’s always going to be something you hate about your favorite books, and you can choose to deny this but deep down you know your fave could have done *something* different. Acknowledge that and learn from it. That’s what most fanfic is anyway, right? Once you know why something was not right, You (Or at least, I) find that you want to write things differently, want to not do those *Bad* things. Remember Twilight? Of course you do, and I love that damn series, even though I KNOW half of the entire series was filler. Hell, NEW MOON was a whole filler book. I know its not literary genus, but I genuinely would not be writing if it weren't for fanfiction dot net forward slash book forward slash twilight. Also, that soundtrack was banger, which brings me to my next note.

Music! I grew up with lots of 90s hip hop and r&b. I know way too many lyrics that I shouldn’t have learned as, like, a five year old but I appreciate now, even if it’s about not knowing what “luv” is while simultaneously understanding the artists dgaf what it is. I, in turn, also appreciate characters who don’t give a fuck, too. I might hate them but I also respect it lol. New music with stupid lyrics or equally obscene shit. Even if you think a song is stupid, it still tells a story, whether its based on ego and riches or something deeper like drug abuse and love lost. Lyrics and beats help you understand an artist’s personality, you can probably use that to base a character off of or even a scene like that baseball scene in Twilight; Supermassive Black hole by Muse will never not automatically make me think about Alice throwing that ball to Rosalie (Also, can we just appreciate that vampires playing baseball in thunderstorms is kinda fucking clever?). Also, word play is often cleverly done in music. Billie Eilish’s Ocean Eyes always hits for me. “Burning cities, Napalm skies. 16 flares inside those ocean eyes.” WTF does that mean? IDK but god do I feel that. And maybe sometimes you want to say what you mean point blank and not over use metaphors, but now and then a clever line doesn’t hurt.

Same with poetry! I read Milk and Honey, enjoying it at first until I was like ‘ok I get it ur sad and different, bitch me too, next.’ I actually never finished it lol. Charles Bukowski is hit or miss for me. Sometimes i feel his words and other times i literally want to scream!!!! Night Work by him comes to mind, and jfc it gets me so mad. I understand why, though and I end up writing just as aggravating (secondary) characters.

Keep your comfort zone but, step out side of it as well. I did so many things in 2019 that was out of my comfort zone, minuscule things like listening podcasts (which, now I like ) to big things like, bungee jumping. It puts things into perspective. Didn’t like bungee jumping but I loved the adrenaline rush, I understood it, I wanted more of it and I could actually describe it, and if i can describe it to myself then whoever I’m writing about can also describe it, feel it, even. Podcasts, on the other hand, made me more aware of what’s going on outside of my city and I even found myself doing research I later used in my writing. Do things you probably wouldn’t on a good day, basically, then write it down.

Write anywhere and anything! short pieces to full pages. I have a notebook of phrases or conversations I had or overheard back in high school because it just blew my mind and i thought it was either funny or profound for a bunch of teenagers. Half the stuff I posted is me typing bullshit on my phone in the middle of the night, then i retype it in a word doc and either add or take out of it. My notes are a jumble of nonsense most of the time. I hardly write full sentences, sometimes I skip around and emphasize on lines I know for sure I want to use, skip around some more and maybe write an ending, then in word, I try to fill in the spaces. Experiment too! Maybe you want to focus more on emotion than dialogue or dialogue more than emotion? See what fits for the theme you’re going for.If you don’t like it, rewrite it.

Thesaurus dot com is your friend! Or even right clicking a word on word and checking the listed synonyms (Unrelated, what’s a synonym for the word word?). If you notice you’re using the same word (Noun? Verb?) too often and you don’t think it flows well, look for another one. Word of the day dot com was like mandatory for me in my high school AP English class, but it came in handy. I started using words I’d never even think to use before.

Finally, have people read your work whether it’s a friend or randoms on the internet. Let them tell you what they liked or hated. You don’t have to take what they say to the heart, but ask yourself why you DIDNT write it the way they wanted. A previous ask mentioned something that actually had me thinking, would the person actually do that? Maybe, but is it relevant to the plot? Does it make sense? Should I add it in? Basically justify what you wrote and it may actually help in aiding with the rest of what you will eventually write.

Hope this helped in some way and good luck on anything you write.

#asks #writing #writing tips #me and my ted talks #this was so long #who do i think i am #i bet half these were contradictory #whatever man thats how it be #contradict urself #but make it make sense

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gayfrenchtoast · 3 years

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Okay fine we're doing this. I havent read the books and I'm probably not going to I've only seen the movies so I'm sorry if anything I say is contradictory or has already been stated.

So! Descendants 3 was kinda shit and I dont like it but especially because of the ending because everybody was like "oh yeah island is open and we're all happy with no worries or implications about free villains or people being spiteful about being imprisoned for years!" In fact if anything they joked about those things.

The island is basically its own culture, I can't say how long it's been around, long enough for some almost adult kids to be about and to develop a kind of community.

The Isle is a place of poverty, people are dirty and on the street, eveyone steals from each other and most people don't put much effort into appearance upkeep (personal or of the sourounding area) not because of laziness or being "evil" but because they clearly don't have time or luxury to do such things or possibly even the clean water. Does the Isle have clean water?? How to they get electricity??? Someone tell me!

Another thing that I've noticed is easy to see but is not much explicitly said is the unique style of those on the Isle. As previously stated they don't have much but those who have the most "power" and such on the Isle are the best example of this As they have the most colourful outfits. However these outfits are often made out of patches and ripped things put together, even salvaged things like nets and chains as we can see on thing like Uma and Harry's outfits in D3 they make the best of what they've got and they do fantastic because their outfits are intricate and detailed and just tell you everything you need to know about them. Which is why it's a damn s h a m e when the original VK's ajust their style to be more like Auradon's. That's not an improvement! Be proud of where you came from!! It's like they forgot what it was like being on the Isle in D3!

Moving on, here's something that was touched on in D2 but not enough. Equality. On the Isle there is basically equal opportunity as in saying everything is shit and nome cares what gender and presumably what sexuality you are as long as you can work. Sexism is shown to be almost casual in aurodon from the looks of it, Chad makes sexist comments and litterally none else says anything or seems to see anything wrong with it except Jay who caves to pressure from peers and expectations. He does redeem himself because he's from the isle and he knows you shouldn't give a shit about anyone's gender or anything. If they can do something and ask to be included you give them that opportunity. The sexism is also implied in the way that the rule book has men written specifically in the first place and that it has taken until then for anyone but boys to be allowed on any kind of sports team. We never see it! It seems to be the hetronormative veiw where the boys do sport and girls do cheerleeding and other genders? What other genders? Never heard of that? BAD AURADON!! I bet there's so many trans folk on the island just living their lives, thinking Aurodon is the better place and not knowing that it's a cis het filled nightmare.

Okay no I'm headcannoning now, if their are now a bunch of Isle kids at auradon prep they find it fucking aweful the way all these preppy royals are treating them and make the first LGBT club in Auradon. There is lots of pushback and they get bullied a fuck ton for making themselves the most prominent queer folk in the school until a fight breaks out and the club demand that they should be treated better, taking all the evidence to fairy godmother who is very hesitant because COME ON she's never been that great she is biased to Auradon kids and if putting away those in the Isle is brought up she is all on it, she is jelly spined about doing anything against the royal kids. So the kids are like "Fine, if you won't help us we'll take this to the King himself!" Well mainly the queer mom's of the group (you know the ones I'm talking about) who lead the others and protect the anxious queers as they storm to Ben at his fucking locker and demand an audience because they are being harassed and bullied and none is doing anything. Ben had no idea there was even a LGBT club (too busy ig) and is gassed there is one for a moment before he's like "wait people are harassing you?" So Bisexual King Ben gets his lovely Bi wife and they start coming to club meetings and investing in the pins and stuff the club makes. Most club members are pleased but the queer mom's are apprehensive that this will help until some assholes come to the club to do their usual bullying only to find King and Queen Beast themselves siting there with rainbow bracelets and bi pins and all trying to have a nice old time eating their fucking cupcakes what the fuck are yall doing? The bullying dies down quick once they realise it ain't gonna fly, the other OG VK's that hear about this become members and very protective over their queer children. Did I mention Dizzy and Ceila are a part of the club? They're girlfriend's. Celia is one of the queer moms. Harry becomes one of the biggest protectors over the group as the pan dad. He's been going around snogging everyone and anyone wholl snog him everyone already knew he was queer they just didn't have the balls to try and bully him over it as much as they bullied the lil club members. But now Harry can often be seen in jackets and shit with pan and general queer patches and pins and running around with his gay children yelling "MOVE WE'RE GAY!!" He totally calls them his queer crew. Anyway as a result lots of queer royals start coming out of the woodwork, obvs Lonnie is one of them, and the club eventually serves to bring members of Auradon and the Isle close together.

Where was I? Yada yada auradon expects girls to be pretty princesses and boys to be brave knights or dashing princes. It's shit and should stop being portrayed as good. Moving on!

Food! One of the things we'll established in all movies is that the food of the Isle is shit compared to food of Auradon. The Isle has no fresh fruit which likely means its almost impossible for things to grow there which is fair because again there doesn't seem to be much fresh water and there are always clouds overhead so no sun. Maybe there is some people trying really hard to grow stuff but the general attitude of the Isle seems to be "there is no time for that" and fruits are forgotten so much that the VK's litterally don't knownwhat they are when they come across them. That and anything containing sugar. Actually it's mention by Dizzy and Celia that they enjoy the fact that the cake dosent have dirt or flies so basically food there is terrible. We don't see much food on the Isle but what we do see seems to be beans, eggs, chips and shellfish. Basically protine and carbs that can be easily stored and produced. To be fair beans are kidna good for you but they're likely a sign that if they get any imports from the mainland it is canned stuff. Prison food. There's probably some chef villain that is trying their best to make good food out of the shit but honestly the Isle dwellers should be angry that they've been deprived of good food for so long not happy they're finally been given decency.

Moving on, music! Auradon dosent have nearly as many musical numbers it seems, the Isle songs have a distinct style, to them, the villains that basically "founded" the place were masters of the dramatic songs (with backup or solo) so banging music is basically ingrained in the music's culture, even for battle as we see with the fight between Mal and Uma in D3. Meanwhile Auradon seems to have mainly romance and "I want" songs. Even Audrey's villain song is basically an I want song.

Okay let's talk about the Villains. We've established that the VK's are not inherently bad. However not all of them can be totally good and there are legit OG Villains just kinda chillin on the Isle. They've obviously lost quite a bit of their power, motivation and sanity (isolation will do that to ya as they lost everything and the VKs know no different) but deadass? They were bad guys. You can try to rehabilitate them sure but you've basically just let them free roam, they could make a runner and you wouldn't get the chance. They were also shitty patents which is brushed over/joked about in the interaction between Carlos and...man I feel bad I forgot her name deadass their relationship seemed to come out of nowhere in the second film she didn't seem interested in them at all and friendzoned them multiple times I'm pretty sure Disney did that becaue queer kids were relating to Carlos and headcanoning them as queer (which they deffinatly are) but deadass their mom is an attempted animal murderer and has hurt her child as we can see from how they're afraid of her and her rhetoric and yet it's "haha I'm afraid to meet your ma!" "Me too cus im a dog! Lol!" Fuuuuck offfffff

I think I'm running out of thoughts so here's a last one for now; with the magical barrier down a bunch of magical Villains kids should be coming out for the woodwork. We know Mal has magic basically stored in her so it's is possible, she technically doesn't need the spellbook to do magic it is just inherent to her. So with the diverse range of people from the isle there are deffinatly magic folk in there. Actually if we're following Disney movie law I saw something mentioning Jay being half Genie and yeah! He should be half Genie! Jafar got turned into a Genie he's probably only human because of the barrier! Oh also Ben should be able to go beast on command as long as he had a better beast form than he did in the movies. And give him back the beard and fangs like fuck you he looked so much better

Okay I'm done for now

#decendants #decendants 3 #mal #carlos de vil #jay #harry hook #uma

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eyoricka · 3 years

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Pete’s assistant - Pete Davidson

Words: 2160

Warning: 2 curse words

Requested: yes

You had been Pete’s assistant for many years now. You had begun as an intern at NBC and that’s how you met Pete. The two of you immediately clicked, there was like a strange bond between you like you always knew each other or were meant to meet, to work together. So at the end of your internship, Pete asked you if you wanted to be his assistant, to help him with pretty much everything. He wasn’t famous enough to really have a publicist, so you also fill up this role. It was funny at first. Pete was nice to you, never asking for anything impossible to get. Contrary to many other celebs with their assistant, he treated you like his equal. Planning interviews was something you enjoyed, he was mostly in some presented by his friends, so it was pretty chill, and you learnt so much. You let Pete took charge of his social media presence, he was more than okay at it, was natural and able to create a connection with his fans.

However, at some point everything changed. Pete got way bigger, he was famous like really famous, not just known by SNL and stand-ups afficionados. Things got out of hand quickly. You still liked to work for Pete, he was still adorable to you but handling negative comments, the infamous song about him, people reactions and the repercussions on his mental health was a nightmare. You had too much to think about: to make sure he was feeling okay or at least not too bad, to make sure he would sleep, eat, not take too much drugs, go to work, go outside, try to stop the continuous harassment… Pete hired a publicist to take some weight out of your shoulders and have someone who would focus only on his impacted public image. Even though, Pete was probably at rock bottom, it was nice to see that he would still be kind to you, trying to smile a bit when you were ding your best to cheer him up.

And this is how the problems began for you. You knew the rule number one of any assistant: never fall for your boss. But you couldn’t help it. You had always loved his personality however you never considered having feelings for him. However, seeing him hurt, fragile but still caring about his close circle, still trying his best everyday for people he loved, still being nice when he could easily be an ass and take the heartbreak as an excuse, was enough to make you acknowledged that maybe you wanted to be more than a friend to him.

You decided to keep your emotions for yourself. You didn’t want to make a fool of yourself or lose your job and friend for feelings that would never be reciprocated. To forget about them, you went on dates with several people, it was a failure. Every time you could stop yourself from comparing your date with Pete. Even if some people were funny enough, smart enough, kind enough, they were simply not enough. A date with them was pleasant but you couldn’t picture more, and it would be cruel to force a relationship with someone you didn’t have feelings for just to hide your current crush. So after some dates you gave up on the idea of finding someone for the moment and preferred to take time for yourself. As the year went on, you were the witness of Pete’s different and non-working relationships. You were happy for him, truly. He was able to move on which was great and he felt more like himself. But it still hurt to see him get far too involved in relations that were doomed to fail. He was too intense and passionate for his own good. You advised him to follow your example and take time for himself, to love himself and understand what he wanted, needed from a partner. Surprisingly, he did it and it did good on him.

A few months later, you were at a small gathering to celebrate Pete’s Netflix comedy special. The reviews were good, and the audience was following, it was great to watch Pete’s career on track to success, he would finally be recognized for his art. You were talking to Dave about the process of writing when you are down and how cathartic humor is. You glanced distractedly several times in Pete’s direction confident that you were discreet. As your drink was empty, you scanned the room to find the nearest bottle of a beverage you like. Your eyes met Colson’s ones and he grinned mischievously at you. You rose an eyebrow wondering why he looked like a devious elf and quickly manage to appease your thoughts, rationalizing that it was only Colson being his drunk and high self.

As you made your way to the counter full of bottles to pour you a glass, you felt two hands clapped your shoulders. You turned promptly and faced Colson who was smirking even wider.

“What do you want?” You asked not surprised by his presence but cautious about what he was about to say.

“Well just to chat with a lovely assistant, it has been a while since we haven’t talk.” He replied sweetly, an innocent smile replacing his smirk and you understood fully well why so many girls were crazy about him.

“Cut the crap” You deadpanned, not in the mood for his banter.

“I still wonder why I try to sugarcoat things with you” he mumbled certainly more for himself. After some long seconds of silence, he let out in a charming voice: “Don’t you think that would be the perfect night?”

You weren’t sure of what he was implying. He liked flirting but you seriously doubt that he was since he would never cross that border, maybe he was just bored or wanted to tease you. You didn’t give him the satisfaction of an answer that would fuel his joust.

“You don’t ask me the perfect night for what?” He added kind of amused by your lack of reaction. “Well I will tell you anyway because else it wouldn’t be funny. So my dear don’t you think it would be the perfect night to admit your badly hidden feelings for you know who.”

You gulped at those words. You attempt to come back with a witty, chill repartee that would show that you were diverted by this non-sense and not knowing about what he was talking about, but your mind was blank. You were sure that tonight before sleeping while your mind would replay this scene, you would think of many clever replies.

“Still no answer, I bet that this time it is not for the same reason, right” Colson joked, and you cursed yourself.

“I just don’t understand what you mean” you eventually managed to say, cringing at this lame attempt to act cool.

“Your blushing cheeks and stiff body are telling the opposite” Nice even your own body was now betraying you.

“I get that you are bored Colson and even if it would probably be the funniest thing of your night, I don’t plan on becoming the biggest idiot of the party for your entertainment. I know Pete doesn’t like me and it is okay, you can’t control someone’s feelings and…”

“I hope you realize that you already are the biggest idiot of the night” He cut you “and Pete is too. I can’t get my head around the fact that you are both blind, incapable of seeing the way the other looks at you. Shshshsh don’t reply, don’t want to waste my time on hearing you tell me that I am lying, imagining stuffs, and complaining about my behavior, I‘ve already had this long speech from Pete. You can do whatever you want, go tell him or don’t but just know that you don’t risk much. And don’t count on him to come, he is sure he has no chance. So please have the balls for the both you.” He was about to leave you there with many contradictory thoughts filling your head when he leaned to whisper: “But really please do tell him tonight, I bet some bucks with John that you would be the brave one, don’t prove me wrong.”

You nudged him and he burst out of laughter as you showered him with imaginative curses. You decided to sit few minutes just to take time to reflect. You needed to process what you just heard. If indeed had feelings for you, things would change drastically. You felt yourself slowly but surely drifting into panic. A part of your brain was screaming that it was lies maybe because it was easier to accept than the truth. You had dreamt of this but it was a dream and you weren’t sure that you were ready for that right now. Intrusive thoughts were running in your head defeating your ounce of rationality and calm. One of your hand was clenched on your drink firmly and you closed your eyes while inhaling and exhaling to relax yourself. From the outside you certainly looked crazy but you didn’t care, it didn’t even crossed your mind.

You were so focused on your breath that you didn’t notice someone siting next to you and neither feel this person hand on yours. When you opened your eyes, you detect that you were no longer alone and the person with you was none other than Pete. He softly smiled at you and you felt like dying inside, this smile was enough to make you forget any doubts, anything, to appease. You smiled back at him kindly. He seemed to be struggling to say something and you took the lead.

“I guess that Colson talks to you too, huh?” You questioned, your voice was a bit shaking and you had eaten half of your words however you knew that he had understood you.

“Kind of” he stated and your next words died in your throat, you were losing your confidence. Those tow simple words held a clear message: yes we talk but no I don’t like you. “Actually, John did most of the talking” he joked or at least try to. He was also way to stress to really be funny.

You wanted to say something, to admit what was consuming you inside nevertheless you were scared, you refuse to be too blunt on this. You had to be subtle, to find a way to make him realize but without saying it, so if the feelings were not reciprocal it would not be too awkward.

“Colson mentioned a bet on us” You hid your reddening face behind your drink and casually take a sip or at least as casually as you can considering your current position.

“I heard about it too” His fingers were drumming against his tights in nervousness. “I am kind of bother by it you see.” You nodded, you felt crushed inside, of course he would be bothered, who would not be bothered to be shipped with someone they don’t have feelings for. You did everything you could to remain still and not crack, not now, not in front of him, of his friends. “I don’t really any of them to get this money like I guess I want them to be right, but I don’t like them betting on us”. You blinked several times not sure if you were on the same page. “I am not very clear, I am? Well obviously, I am not, I have never been very clear in those situations. Maybe clearer than now, because now what I am saying is a mess, well normally it is confused but understandable. And I am rambling right now and I don’t even know why. Maybe because it is intimidating, like we know each other for so long and what I am saying is that it is different.”

He had lost you with his confused sentences, was he trying to reject you or the contrary. You wanted a certain answer, not an interpretation based on a wrong reading of the situation, actually you did not want this answer, you needed it. He was still digressing when you took the courage to interrupt him: “Pete please listen to me okay.” He shut up and looked at you in the eyes, sort of hanging of the words you would pronounce. “I like you Pete and not like I like Ricky or John, I mean not like a friend. Do you understand?”

There were few awfully long seconds of silence before you felt Pete’s forehead against yours and his hands on yours. “Fuck, you are a lot better at verbalizing this than I am” He smiled brightly, he was so beautiful when he was happy. “Can I kiss you?” He asked still quite unsure and you gently pressed your lips against his. It was a short and sweet kiss, the kind that promise wonderful tomorrows full of love, full of life.

#pete davidson #pete davidson x reader #pete davidson x you #snl fic #pete davidson fic #pete davidson oneshot #pete davidson imagine #pete davidson fanfic

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nasaty · 3 years

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Noctilucence

Student Aizawa x (she/her) student reader, so much angssssttt and grief and a bunch of fluff. (Do not bring any pedo shit into my presence or I will fucking destroy you

MANGA SPOILERS until episode 107 comes out. - also this requires context that I am not providing from MHA manga and the arc with Aizawa in Vigilantes. TW: death. 9 part series.

Ch 1 here | Ch 3 here

Lmk if you like it and I can post more!

Ch. 2 the Roof

Oboro bounded up the stairs, leapt over every other step and sometimes skipping two. You had fairly short legs and were left straggling behind. He reached the stair landing out of breath, you assumed probably still winded from the match earlier with that blast guy.

“Who was that blast guy that you had your midterm with?” You asked still climbing the stairs at a natural pace.

“Oh, that guy? His name is Sensoji, he’s alright once you get to know him! He’s just kind of a sore loser. He’ll be a good hero one day though I’m sure.” His smile beamed.

You marveled at how positive he was. He was almost naive and gave off a soft innocence that somehow still seemed sensible.

Finally arriving at the stair platform, you watch Oboro go to open the door to the roof. He paused and looked at you, put on some googles that seemed to be tinted to protect from the sun.

“It’s pretty bright up here since the roof is made mostly out of metal, so, careful with your eyes.” You didn’t have more than a second to process what he was saying before he swung the door open, blinding you like a camera flash.

“Shit, you’re right,” you mumbled under your breath.

“HAH sorry, guess I should’ve warned you sooner.” You we’re impressed that he heard you, he must’ve had really good hearing.

As your eyes adjusted to the scalding burns in your retina, you came to see a few people in front of you, lost in conversation.

You heard the woman’s voice first, “I’m telling you, we have to have a nap room in the cat cafe, cats make everyone want to nap!” She was gorgeous, almost entirely legs and was wearing hardly anything, which intimidated you a bit but you also thought she looked cool.

“NoooOoOooOOOOOOO!” The loudest voice you’ve ever heard bursts out of the blonde man across from her. His hair stood almost straight up from the top of his head and he wore triangular sunglasses halfway down his nose. “YoU doNT UnDeRstAnDDDD! If it’s a CAFE why would anyone need to NAP? COFFEE makes you NOT want to nap!!!!”

“Nothing makes me not want to nap,” you heard from the other man sitting next to them both. He had a low voice that was airy and quiet, even when not compared to the loud blonde man next to him. To you he was almost soothing, he appeared to be very comfortable leaning on some metallic part of the roof. His hair was jet black and half of it was in front of his face, hiding most of it, and it grazed his shoulders. “I agree with Nemuri on this one,” he mumbled.

The blonde whined, throwing his hands up in defeat, “Oh COME oNnnNNNNNN! You’re the OUTLIER in this sitch, you could drink 6 energy drinks and still go to sleep!!”

The woman snorted a little laugh, “Though that’s true, I still think a nap room is necessary”

All three of them stopped talking as you and Oboro approached them, surprised that Oboro was bringing someone else up to their lunch spot.

“Hey who’s this little listener??” The blonde questioned Oboro.

“Hey guys I found this girl in sensei’s midterms,” the way he said it sounded like you were a lost puppy, “she’s a first year but was SUBBING for recovery girl! She’s cool so I brought her up here with us!” He gestured as if to present you to them.

“Hey girl, I’m Nemuri,” the woman stood and took both of your hands in hers, she seemed very touchy, but in a calming way. “Honestly we’ve been needing some more women around here, this place is a damn sausage fest, *not that I usually mind that*.” She winked.

“YES!” The blonde shouted and jumped up onto his feet in one swift movement. “I bet you’re awesome if Oboro picked you out of the crowd, he has great taste.” He pretended to flip his hair.

“Oh shut up Hizashi,” Nemuri said, teasing him. She turns to the other man, “Hey grumps, how about you stand up and meet our new friend?”

His eye roll went almost undetected as he looked up at the other two.

Oboro took this as his turn to introduce. “Guys, her name is Y/n. Y/n, this is Nemuri, Hizashi, and Shouta-“

“Aizawa” the irritable man sighed, as he looked at you, retracting the wrongfully given permission to use his informal name. He stood up slowly.

Oboro grabbed everyone into a group hug.

“Good lord this is cheesy,” Nemuri said. “Can we go back to talking about our cat cafe?”

“YES” Oboro spoke excitedly.

“Y/n, what do you think about a nap room in a cat cafe with COFFEE” Hizashi inquired.

You were puzzled, but concluded fairly quickly, “I don’t think I’d put a nap room in a place that sells caffeine, that seems kind of contradictory.”

“Of course,” you heard from Aizawa, so faintly that it hardly sounded.

You looked at him inquisitively but he never held eye contact. Despite this, all five of you sat in quality conversation and comfort throughout the rest of the lunch period.

For weeks, Oboro would find you at lunch and bring you to the roof again to make you feel welcome. And it did make you feel welcomed, almost all the time, except when Aizawa spoke to you. You had this creeping suspicion that you did something to bother him but you couldn’t pinpoint what. You really started to like and respect Aizawa but he hadn’t seemed to have warmed up to you yet. Oboro eventually stopped having to invite you to lunch as you felt a part of the group, and you enjoyed lunch with them every day for the rest of that semester.

#aizawa fanfiction #shouta aizawa x reader #shouta aizawa #aizawa x female reader #aizawa x y/n #mha aizawa #bnha aizawa #bnha #hizashi yamada #nemuri kayama #aizawa shouta #mha vigilantes #mha shirakumo #oboro shirakumo #shirakumo oboro #fluff #aizawa fluff #aizawa angst #character death

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captains-writing-desk · 3 years

Text

From Heaven and Hell

Universe: Harry Potter

Character: Severus Snape

Type: F!Reader insert

Words: 2,724

Prompt: Dude, Dude- I love your Snape works! ❤❤ Could you please do a Snape x Prof Reader where she is the hot new teacher and everyone gossips about her or sum? She's like a major flirt too so she flirts with Snape a lot. Eventually with the gossip and flirting he finally admits he likes her? Can end smutty or fluffy- surprise us! Thank you! Keep being awesome!

Note: I’ve done my best to research locations, layouts etc. But I’ve discovered a lot of contradictory information, so this is all going to go how I want it to go. No nit picking please

Guys. I’ve been gone for so long. I’m in such a rut, I feel so uninspired all the time. Sorry for the LONG wait. 💔

Something was happening and if anyone could find out, it would be one Professor Severus Snape. He had a nose for sniffing out trouble like a bloodhound and boy what a nose it was. He made a sweep of all the corridors on his lunch time stroll but everything seemed to be in relative order until he noticed the regular bustling noise that filled the corridors and the sound of the outdoors seemed to dissipate and compress into whispers. Then he noticed students had started to lean over the sides of the stone bannisters and other students on the grounds were looking in the same direction. How curious. He tried to peer over their heads but he was unsuccessful so headed to one of the sets of steps down to the grounds. He made it precisely 2.3 steps down when his purposeful stride immediately dissipated and the last 0.7 steps was spent holding onto the stone wall to balance himself as his body somewhat stuttered and moved itself to one side.

“Thank you.” You smiled and brushed lightly against him as you ascended the steps he had just taken. Severus’ gaze followed you lazily until you disappeared up the corridor, then his body snapped into action and went to catch up with you which proved more difficult with students blocking his path after they cleared space for you.

When he finally had caught up to you, you were being ushered away by Minerva and he had to leave it at that for now. Though he could not see you anymore, you certainly were fresh in his mind and did a good job occupying it for the rest of the day and apparently most of the students’ too. Severus had to interrupt no end of conversations and gossip about who this mysterious stranger was and how ‘easy on the eyes’ you were.

Severus had lost his train of thought so much that day that it never even crossed his mind that you were the new Arithmancy professor until the headmaster was announcing it to the students. He stared for a moment with his mouth slightly agape and clapped slowly, off beat with anybody else’s applause. He despised the fact that you had him stumbling over himself, well before even knowing your name.

Once dinner was over he watched you leave the hall before making his own move. The eyes that followed you did not go unnoticed by him either as he grit his teeth and walked faster, despite wanting to make sure you left first so he would not encounter you again.

“..No, no. It’s not important to our studies, just a preference but it can’t be helped!” He heard your voice then the headmaster bidding you goodnight as he approached the large doors out to the entrance hall. He peered around the frame and all seemed clear so he confidently strode to the dungeons entrance only he came to pause at the top of the steps and felt the need to look up the stairs, something was different which made his eyes narrow instinctively as he crept quietly to the bottom of the ascending stairs. He almost jumped when your own narrowed eyes appeared from the darkness.

“You.” He stated in no particular manner which amused you a little.

“It is me, yes.” You folded your arms and leant against the wall for a moment, “..and you are?”

“Severus Snape.” He remained fairly neutral in expression and tone until you started descending towards him, then he seemed a little startled as you held your hand out to him, repeating the name he had already committed to memory.

“So, Severus. You’re the reason I can’t have the dungeons for myself.” You resumed your stance leaning on the wall again.

“I suppose I am.” He responded in a more Snape friendly tone as the edge had been taken off.

“I was rather looking forwards to all the devilish little things I could get away with down there. Dancing with the devil perhaps.” Severus was too busy processing what any of that could insinuate to respond. “Well, I’ll try not to bother you too much but I may need some local knowledge from you at some point. Feel free to visit me in heaven sometime.” You winked then laughed at yourself, a terrible joke really but the tease of it worked enough.

“Of course.” He raised his brow, wondering what was with all the biblical crap, though judging by the smirk on your face, his expression had meant something else to.

“I look forward to your visit, Goodnight for now, Severus.” Shit. It meant acceptance of the invitation.

“Good night.” He mumbled back and watched you disappear up the stairs as you lit your way with your wand. He couldn’t help but notice how literal your heaven and hell joke seemed as he watched the white light fade, then glanced down his own set of steps before him, taking in the reddish hue of candles and torches. He shook himself from his thoughts and descended the steps to hell.

The next morning after breakfast, Severus found himself once again stood at the bottom of your stairs just being captivated by you and the conversation you were both having.

“Sir-” one of his students attempted to speak to him as they walked by but was cut off by the famous glare.

“Wait downstairs.” He instructed and returned to you with a softer gaze.

“Have I distracted you?” You laughed at his little interaction.

“I wouldn’t say so. I’ll be on time.” He reassured himself more than anyone.

“I shall try harder next time then.” You raised a brow suggestively then bid him a good morning and left him to go to his class.

Your little chats happened on a daily basis now, making good on your word to try harder to distract him and in the evenings they would run at great lengths and would always end when you asked if he wanted to come up rather than just sit around in the stairwell but he would always decline and retreat to his little cave. You wanted to make it your mission to get him into your room or vice versa, mainly for comfort but also it was just a more intimate setting but you weren’t going to force it. You enjoyed flirting with him and he never told you to stop or that he was uncomfortable but you weren’t just going to push through his boundaries like that.

Unbeknownst to you, he was rather hoping you would push his boundaries, although he didn’t quite realise that himself either, he would soon though. He would tell himself that you initiated everything and he merely listened and tolerated your company but he would now come face to face with the reality of the part he played.

It was after dinner one evening when you both walked back to those fateful stairs and he leant against the wall, preparing for a long conversation but you took a step up the stairs and turned to him.

“I’m afraid I’ve got a student coming in a moment so I can’t stay and chat tonight, you can always come knocking later if you want a late night chat though.” You winked at him, briefly noticing the disappointment in his eyes, then a glint of something like panic before he mumbled that it was alright and that he would speak to you soon then he left. The panic was very odd, but the rest was a sign to you that he enjoyed your company at least.

Once he got back to the dungeons he sat himself at his desk and thought for a moment. He had panicked a little when he had left but it wasn’t necessarily bad but it was certainly new. The reason being was that he realised you had both been speaking for weeks, almost never missing a day but only for things you were both required to attend. As a result he hadn’t given any detentions or anything which was fairly unusual for him. No, it must be that the students finally learned how to behave. That’s what he told himself anyway but his students were going to make him think again the next day.

He was running late after talking to you that morning, not that he would admit to it but he took his time getting to his classroom, especially when he heard the mention of your name from inside so he paused to listen.

“Merlin, what I wouldn’t do for that woman!” He heard one student say.

“Arithmancy is easy-ish right? I could get into that class.” Another asked but was scoffed at and told it wasn’t exactly easy.

“You seen the way she flirts with Snape? Not only is she stunning but she flirts- albeit questionable- with Snape which keeps him out of our hair.”

“You’re right! None of us have had detention in weeks, he’s the late one now AND if you ask me, I think he doesn’t want to give us detention because he wants his evening free for her. I bet you anything that those two are fuc-“ That conversation came to an abrupt end when Severus practically flew into the room which stunned everyone into silence. He had to put an end to what he was hearing for his own sake but he was too embarrassed about it to confront them so went about his lesson but he knew as soon as it was over he had a lot of mulling over to do. In fact, he barely left his room all day which didn’t worry you but it wasn’t half boring without him to talk to all day.

Almost a week it had lasted. His little phase of barely leaving his room and any chats you usually had had come to a stop. Maybe you’d pushed him too far, or perhaps he had come to realise he couldn’t be bothered to put up with your incessant chatting anymore.

You watched one morning as he walked in front of you yet again rather than beside you then disappeared down into his dungeons, You sighed and went to ascend your own staircase.

“Professor.” The voice of a student behind you interrupted your thoughts rather abruptly, he was no student of yours.

“Yes?” You smiled welcomingly, opening yourself up to any conversation this child wanted to have with you as they shifted nervously before you.

“Do you think you could start talking to Professor Snape again? I know I’m out of line here but he isn’t the same and when you did speak to him he was much nicer than before but now he just seems... off. It’s unsettling to tell you the truth.” You almost laughed at the cheek of the child but they said it so innocently and with genuine concern that you stifled a laugh and chuckled lightly instead.

“I’ll do my best. Now hurry along or you’ll be late.” You continued chuckling to yourself as you carried on up the stairs, wondering if you should take his advice.

Later that evening you stood at the top of the stairs, staring down into the darkness before forcing yourself down them. You reached his door and knocked before you could even contemplate doing it. You waited longer than you should have before trying again after there was no response but once again, nothing. You turned to leave and thought perhaps you should wait for him for a few minutes in case he was preoccupied somewhere else for a moment so you made yourself comfortable on the bottom step.

Still, he never returned and you gave up, thinking you would try again tomorrow. Walking back up you were consumed with just how boring everything was without him to help occupy your time. Sure, you had things to get on with but there were little gaps in the day now that felt so empty. Just before you reached the ground between the two staircases, purgatory if you were to run with the biblical themes you had going on for some reason, he came into view. He was coming down from the tower you resided in and for a moment, you both just stared at eachother, frozen.

“Just the man I was looking for.” You broke silence first, opting for your usual flirtatious inflection.

“I am?” He forced in a innocence to his tone.

“Yes. What were you doing up there?” You addressed the elephant in the room.

“I was looking for you. I waited a little while. What were you looking for me for?” He folded his arms and raised his brows, pushing the interrogation back onto you.

“Well,” So he wanted to play that game huh, “I’ve been awfully bored as of recent and you’ve been avoiding me all week. So, I thought why not entertain myself with bothering you for a while.” Alright, that was the real elephant in the room and he knew it.

“Ah,” His eyes were downcast for a moment as he briefly contemplated, “Why don’t you come down with me then and bother me for the evening.” He closed the gap between you and paused just before you with his arm gesturing down the stairs as an invitation.

“I just bloody climbed these stairs.” You groaned but turned around and started walking anyway.

Once inside, he got you both a drink and sat with you to have one of those conversations he was so used to having with you but before that could start, you had to know whether he even wanted to.

“Severus.”

“Yes?” He shifted uncomfortably at the seriousness of your tone.

“Don’t misunderstand me when I say I do enjoy bothering you and talking to you but do you tolerate my babbling or do you actually enjoy my company?” You found yourself unable to look at him as he took a moment to think, despite how direct the question was.

“I suppose I tolerate your babbling BECAUSE I enjoy your company. Although I wouldn’t call it babbling really.” That was a start.

“So you’ve just been busy this week and I’ve foolishly thought I’d done something?” You looked at him now, apologetically with what you had insinuated.

“Well, I’ve been busy thinking about something you’ve done.” He put a great deal of thought into what he was saying and it still came out like that? Your eyes narrowed.

“You’re being very cryptic.” You stated plainly and he sighed lightly.

“Truthfully, I’ve been thinking about you. You’ve managed to keep this hold over me which I’m not totally unfamiliar with but it’s still new to me, especially with the way it affects me. It’s been... difficult to come to terms with.” He took a shaky breath and waited for your response as he stared at your hands. He watched them reach out to his own hands before looking you in the eye.

“I know exactly how you feel.” You smiled reassuringly.

“However, I do need to take things slow. In regards to processing what it all is.” He was still on edge.

“It doesn’t have to be anything you know, just see what happens.” You offered.

“I know, but it is something. I’m just in unfamiliar territory.” He had colour in his cheeks now as he waited for your delayed response.

“So no dancing with the devil yet then?” You cocked your brow and he visibly relaxed.

“Well.. I wouldn’t say that.”

#reader insert #severus x reader #severus snape x reader #snape x reader #severus snape #harry potter #request

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sinkix · 4 years

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Haikyuu!! │Cuddle HC’s│ Ft. Nishinoya, Kageyama & Hinata

Because who wouldn’t want to have a snuggle session with one of these lovable crows? I’ll take em’ all.

<< SFW - Contains wholesome content ♡ >>

Hinata:

((Okay I’m sorry but can we talk about how damn FINE he looks here?!))

Actual cuddle monster holy fuck.

This baby crow is clingy as HELL. He will wrap his arms around you like a vice and refuse to let go until he physically has to, you have been warned.

100% shy about it when y’all first started dating but over time gained confidence and will now hug you anytime, anywhere.

Like this boy will just come up behind you while you’re talking to Kiyoko and just SQUEEZE you to death, nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck and slowly breathing in your scent as if savouring every second of it.

You would often question why he would do this, especially before a game, and Hinata was embarrassed to admit that he finds it incredibly calming - like that shit is as if you just tranquillised him with a blend of chamomile and lavender, it works wonders on his performance, which his team is very grateful for lol.

Before a match, whether it be a practice or the real deal, will every time without fail jog to the sidelines and wrap his arms around you, grinning like the lil goof he is as he listens to the rhythm of your heartbeat in an attempt to quell his prickling anxiety. He insists it’s a good luck charm, and has seemed to more than work it’s magic thus far.

When y’all are alone at home he will follow you around the place like a lost puppy who’s craving for some attention. Cooking? He’ll rest his head on your shoulder and sway you gently with his hands placed against your hips. Studying? He will approach you from behind your desk chair and loosely drape his arms over your neck, welcoming the indescribable warmth it floods you two with. Watching TV? He’ll enjoy spooning while sprawled along the sofa. Hinata loves being little spoon at times too, cheeks flushing if you start threading your fingers through his hair, it’s so luxuriously soft and he goes all fuzzy inside whenever he can feel you running your hands through it.

Whenever you stay over at each other’s Hinata will refuse to fall asleep unless you’re tightly knitted in his arms like a teddy bear, it’s really charming in all honesty. His favourite cuddling position is when either of you are curled on top of the other, both laying on your sides in a tilted fashion and intertwining your bodies with one another until you form an furled ball of warmth- kinda like a yin and yang symbol.

Kageyama:

At first it was literally impossible to get Kageyama to reciprocate a hug without feeling like you’re embracing a plank of wood - stiff, immobile and rigid as a board. He wanted to, he really did, but lost all sense of functionality the second you were in close proximity, let alone skin to skin contact. He may as well have had steam coming from his ears, because he looked like an overheated kettle about to erupt, bless his soul.

Eventually, he became familiarised with the sensation of hugging you, and was able to return it. Albeit hesitantly. The first time he did you looked up at him in awe, as if watching a toddler walk for the first time. He of course didn’t take this too well and ended up blushing like a mad man and waving his hands in a frenzy from the way you were staring dumbfounded at him, mumbling a string of words that sounded like different variations of “Dumbass.”

Before a game you always surprise attack him with a bear hug from behind, catching him off guard no matter how many times you do it. Gritting his teeth with heated cheeks as the sound of Tanaka, Noya and Tsukki jeering and wolf whistling can be heard in the background - Hinata pointing wide eyed and gasping “Uwaahh Kageyama looks like he’s about to faint!”. Afterwards though, he always walks on the court to find himself smiling,so he supposes it’s worth it in the end.

When you two are alone he’s surprisingly relaxed, sauntering up to you and casually resting his chin atop your head, closing his eyes and muttering to himself so quietly it’s barely above whisper. “I love you, Idiot.” To which you place your hands over his and smile softly to yourself. “I love you too, dumbass.” Sometimes you kinda just stand there like that in silence, appreciating one another’s company. Letting the sound of white noise and each other’s presence put you both at ease.

My boi Kags has one hell of a firm grip, so it can feel as though he’s squeezing you with his life’s dependency at times, especially if he’s flustered or embarrassed. Which lets be real, doesn’t take a lot.

When you two are in bed together, even if you don’t fall asleep cuddling, he’ll always end up subconsciously wrapping his arms around you during his slumber. Which he looks so peaceful in mind you, it’s adorable.

Kags can still sometimes get nervous initiating a cuddle in bed since to him it’s a whole other level of intimacy, but you’ve noticed that his favourite position tends to be when you’re facing each other, with your head buried against his chest as one of his arms drapes loosely over your shoulder. He enjoys the feeling of your hand resting against his back, clinging to the fabric of his shirt.

You’re definitely going to feel like a baby when y’all cuddle.

Nishinoya:

Nishi is a hurricane of chaos most of the time, however he’s always eerily quiet in your arms, like he just wants to embrace the moment as much as possible.

The first time y’all hugged was because he initiated it.

Boy just straight up requested a hug as bold as brazen to your face, though he was internally shitting himself like Hinata before a match - he refused to show his nerves though being the stubborn and courageous person he is.

You giggled in response, pulling him in for a hug and he could have sworn he’d died and gone to heaven then and there, his face redder than Tendou’s hair.

Nishinoya’s hugs are intense, but in a soothing way. He has such a big presence despite his size yet it’s incredibly comforting.

Also, walking heater. So fuckin warm.

Noya is shy about it at first, but he’s definitely into PDA. He wants the entire earth and it’s neighbour Mars to know you belong to him, and after a while shows zero shame in doing so.

Can and will show you off to the team by rubbing your affection in their faces, coming up to you from behind and slinging his arms around your waist, pressing your body against his own and earning a “UWAAHHH SO MANLY!” from Tanaka and Hinata, with Tsukki scrunching his nose in disgust lol.

Will always hug you before a match, sometimes earning whistles from the stands to which he grins and flashes the onlookers a large thumbs up. Like I said, zero shame.

When he wins a match you bet your ass he’s gonna come charging toward you like a bull on crack and literally launch himself into your arms (yes he does this, he is very light and Noya is like fuck gender rolez pu$$y)

When they lose, he walks up to you solemnly and just wraps his arms around you in silence, burying his head against the crook of your collarbone while you rub circles against his back, he picks himself up soon enough though :)

First time you shared a bed for the night it was like Noya.exe has stopped working, he got so worked up and excited. This is when he discovered he is a SUCKER for being held in bed.

He will refuse to let go of you the entire night, you have to physically pry him off you if you need a drink or to use the restroom, so be prepared for that stealthy act - he’s one hell of a deep sleeper though.

His favourite position is laying lower than you, with your head rested atop his and your arms wrapped around the back of it, running your fingers gently through the locks of his hair. He will borderline purr with all the soft noises of contentment that escapes his lips while you do so, it’s so cute. Meanwhile, Noya will bury his head into your chest and curl his arm around your lifted thigh that’s sprawled against the upper half of it. You guys literally could not get anymore intimate with a cuddle lol, you’re practically smushed together and he loves every second of it. His slow breath fanning against your chest always seems to calm you down.

The position itself is quite contradictory to his usual character in front of others. The normally fearless and manly Nishinoya just thoroughly enjoys being held in a protective grasp, practically babied with affection by you. The contrast is nothing short of endearing, symbolic of the trust he has towards you.

I want to cuddle them now, fuuuuu ( ╥ω╥ )

#hq #haikyuu!!#karasuno #kageyama tobio #cuddle hc's #haikyuu imagines #volleyball idiots #hq imagines #haikyuu x reader #hinata shoyo x reader #kageyama tobio x reader #nishinoya yu x reader #nishinoya yū #hinata shoyo #headcanon

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elyvorg · 3 years

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Wandersong character rambles 3 of 3: Audrey

Wandersong is so incredibly good that I need to get all my Thoughts about it off my chest by writing a series of rambles analysing its three most important characters. Here’s the final one at last! There will be spoilers, obviously. Plus, this’ll probably be kind of hard to follow anyway for people who haven’t played the game. Go play Wandersong! You won’t regret it.

1 of 3: Kiwi (the bard)

2 of 3: Miriam

The bombshell

Encountering Audrey at the end of Act 3 was a huge, earth-shattering reveal for Kiwi. “Oh, hey, you thought you were chosen by Eya’s messenger as the hero who’ll save the world? No, actually you’re not the chosen hero at all; you’re nobody. Here’s the real chosen Hero: look at how cool and badass and swordy she is, exactly like a proper hero, not like some silly bard like you. And also? Your attempt to save the world was almost certainly never going to work anyway, and you should have just given up from the start.” Ouch. No wonder they moped around for half an act after that, with how badly they’d been wanting to be a hero and make a difference.

But that same moment would also have been an equally horrifying reveal from Audrey’s perspective. “Oh, hey, you thought you were chosen by Eyala as the hero who’ll save the world? No, actually, turns out she chose you to end it. Also, here’s this other person, some random nobody bard, whom Eyala also seems suspiciously friendly with – and apparently, they’ve at least been trying to save the world, unlike you.”

The thing is, Audrey’s grim task of ending the world is still necessary. The Overseers’ corruption is inevitable and cannot be reversed, only temporarily slowed. The world’s inhabitants would be stuck in a living hell for eternity if something wasn’t done – and the only thing that can be done (aside from the Earthsong, which has never worked) is to end this universe and start a fresh one. The “Hero” essentially exists to put the universe out of its misery once things inevitably begin to fall apart.

So, the problem with Audrey isn’t that she’s trying to end the world, because somebody literally has to, and that unfortunate somebody is her. The problem really lies more with how she responds to the part where having this task means she’s been arbitrarily designated “the Hero”.

This part’s kind of Eyala’s fault. A “hero” is not quite what you’d think to call someone with the job of giving the world and swift and painless end – but it’s pretty understandable given the circumstances. Way, way back in the very earliest cycles, the original few chosen people must have been extremely reluctant to carry out their task. How many cycles do you want to bet it took before Eyala started giving her chosen world-destroying warrior the title of “the Hero”? It’d be much easier to convince them to do it if she framed it like it was totally a good thing, including lying to them – or at least being very deliberately vague – about what killing Overseers even meant until the last one.

The only issue with this is the inevitable fallout when the “Hero” learns that they’re not really being a hero and saving the world at all. And since Audrey ended up learning this fact far sooner than she was meant to, this fallout is much more spectacular than it probably usually is. Especially because she seems to be a lot more desperate to be a hero than most Heroes probably usually are.

(I know the game doesn’t consistently capitalise the word “Hero” as referring to Audrey’s role, but I’m going to, because there’s a very pointed distinction between that and the normal definition of the word “hero”.)

End the world to be the Hero

When Audrey asks Eyala a little later, after killing the Queen of Winds, why she wasn’t told about the whole ending-the-world thing sooner, Eyala explains that it’s usually difficult for “normies” to understand why this needs to be done. That “normie” comment in particular really seems to get under Audrey’s skin – the idea that, despite having chosen her as the one and only Hero, Eyala nonetheless still sees her as a normal person. Heroes aren’t supposed to be normal people. Audrey’s not supposed to be normal. And apparently, the thing that makes Eyala assume that about her is the idea that she’d be freaked out over ending the world, huh?

But no, of course Audrey’s got to be more than just some normie. So she pretends to be super chill with it all (even though she definitely isn’t), with a cool, casual, “may as well be me, right?”. Eyala responds with “That’s why you’re the Hero!”, further cementing the idea in Audrey’s head that the Hero is supposed to be eerily chill with ending the world. By the way Eyala’s talking about it, if they weren’t, they wouldn’t be the Hero.

(In reality, this is probably never the case. That’s precisely why Eyala doesn’t usually like to tell them until the end! But that’s not how Audrey ends up seeing things.)

As a result, the next few times Kiwi and Miriam meet Audrey and interact with her, she appears to have settled into a sort of inherently contradictory doublethink in order to cope with what she has to do and make herself okay with it.

On the one hand, whenever possible, Audrey will act as if the fact that the world is ending has nothing to do with her actions. She calls her meeting with the king of Rulle to get the Overseer song “important saving-the-world business”, which is totally what she’s doing as the Hero, right. Kiwi and Miriam are the only other people in the world who know it isn’t, but that doesn’t stop her trying to frame it that way to them. She also frequently talks about how she needs to kill the Overseers to stop them corrupting the real world, and yet it turns out that things become at least equally corrupted once they’re dead anyway. Audrey even has the audacity to complain to Kiwi and Miriam that the spirit world is collapsing because three Overseers are dead, in a way that sounds like she’s blaming it on them. But, hm, I wonder whose fault that really is.

Yet at the same time, when she actually has to think about the fact that she’s ending the world, Audrey will be absolutely adamant that this is definitely what she has to do and wants to do and she’s completely okay with it.

Her justifications of this don’t even make any sense. She just clings to the circular logic of “I’m the Hero who has to destroy the world, that’s just how this works, I’m sure of it because I’m the Hero, and the Hero knows how this works.” She refuses to entertain any premise that involves her maybe not being the Hero, and she keeps repeating the words “that’s just how it works” to avoid thinking about the part where she doesn’t like how this works.

If she doesn’t end the world, she’s not the Hero. If she’s not making the right choice here, she might not be the Hero. If she’s freaked out and way out of her depth and isn’t even sure what the right choice to make is, then she’s definitely not the Hero. But no, she has to be the Hero, so she’s obviously making the right choice and obviously things happening this way is Just How It Works. The Hero knows best, and she’s the Hero, end of discussion.

As Audrey eventually more or less admits to Kiwi, albeit only when they’re trapped in a cave with no apparent hope of a way out, the reason she felt she had to hide all of her doubts about this is because otherwise, Eyala might think she’s not the Hero. She’s terrified that Eyala could revoke her Hero status and take away her power if she shows any kind of weakness in front of her.

Unfortunately, though all of Audrey’s desperate justifications to herself originated mostly for the sake of keeping up her façade in front of Eyala, they’ve become so ingrained that they’re still very much there even after she’s told Eyala to leave her alone. (It probably doesn’t help that, even aside from what Eyala appears to think, Audrey herself seems the type to personally agree with the idea that heroes need to be perfect and unflappable or else they’re not really heroes. That’s definitely how it works, right.)

There is a hilariously blatant contradiction between the way Audrey claims that she got rid of Eyala for telling her what to do all the time because “real heroes should think for themselves”, and yet she’s clinging to ending the world as what she has to do without actually truly considering whether it’s really what she wants to do. She says she’s not Eyala’s puppet, but she’s continuing to do precisely the thing that does just make her Eyala’s (or, like, destiny’s) puppet rather than having any agency of her own.

Kiwi even tries to point out to her that now that she’s ditched Eyala, she really can choose not to end the world. But Audrey’s having none of it. Obviously she has totally “considered all the angles” and come to a very rational conclusion here and isn’t just saying that so that she doesn’t have to actually think about it.

Maybe if Kiwi had had a chance to try and get through to Audrey sooner, they’d have made more headway. But at this point, Audrey’s spent several acts desperately justifying everything to herself while not being able to talk to anyone about how she really feels about all this, and all those built-up insistences and defence mechanisms have become nigh-unbreakable.

Audrey already knows she’s lying the moment she makes the promise not to end the world, and really she’s planning to break that promise as soon as she manages to get her sword back. In her mind, ending the world is a necessary part of her being the important chosen Hero. She’s spent so long focused on that by now that the thought of betraying some silly little bard’s silly little “promise” sure as hell isn’t going to make her throw it all away.

Despite Kiwi having fervently told her that she should be trying to find another way, as she’s trying to kill the final Overseer and end it all in Act 7, Audrey’s still clinging to her task like her life depends on it. She can’t ignore what she’s really doing any more, not now that the end of everything is right here – but instead, it seems like she might have twisted things around in her head and found a way to make herself okay with it anyway. It’s the whole entire universe, right? And she’s going to be the one to end it, the one who was chosen to end it. It might not be a good thing, but it’s a huge thing – the most important thing there has ever been. If nothing else will, this will make her matter.

Who’s the real hero here?

The thing is, when Audrey claimed that she ditched Eyala because Eyala was manipulative and kept telling her what to do, that wasn’t actually quite it. Audrey was the one who lied. As Eyala informs Kiwi later, the real thing she said to Audrey that set her off was something like, “hey, maybe you should let the bard get the Earthsong pieces before you kill each Overseer”. Seems a reasonable suggestion – let the world maybe be saved after all! – but Audrey couldn’t accept that. That’s because what she really heard from it is: maybe you should let that bard be the real hero instead of you.

Audrey’s other, bigger problem is the fact that she absolutely cannot stand that thought. She never, ever admits it, even when they’re trapped in the cave and she’s being more honest than usual about some things, but she is absolutely, blatantly 1000% jealous of Kiwi for being a better hero than she is and taking the spotlight away from her.

There’s a few little hints to this even before the big conversation in Act 6. In Xiatian, though Audrey ends up obligated to let Kiwi and Miriam join her in meeting the king, she makes a point that they’re her “flunkies” and outright refuses to let you walk ahead of her. She can’t stand the thought of Kiwi coming across as more important than she is. And then there’s that scene on the boat to Mohabumi, where Audrey’s attempt to get Kiwi and Miriam in trouble accidentally ends up making them seem cooler than her. She awkwardly leaves without another word, regretting everything.

You can even pick up on the fact that Audrey’s lying about why she got rid of Eyala in that conversation in the cave, before we hear it from Eyala herself. Audrey claims Eyala told her, apparently word-for-word, “the Earthsong is totally made up, and it’ll never ever work” – but this doesn’t even make sense. If the Earthsong is made up and doesn’t exist in the first place, then there is no “it” to potentially work or not work. The two statements contradict each other. Audrey is quite clearly bullshitting this whole claim and saying what she wishes Eyala had said, because she so desperately wants Kiwi’s quest to be futile. (Well, she’s either lying to herself here, or she’s lying to try to convince Kiwi to actually give up. Or, most likely, a bit of both.)

Not only that, but Audrey completely contradicts her insistence of “Eyala just told you what you wanted to hear” moments later when she makes it a point to clarify that, wait, Eyala actually explicitly told Kiwi they’re not the Hero? Kiwi confirms this, and then goes off on a big sad vent about feeling useless and wishing Audrey would do the right thing with her power, which goes completely over Audrey’s head because she’s so stuck on the they’re not actually the real chosen Hero after all, thank Eya, it’s still me.

(Audrey does give a brief “Really?” as Kiwi admits to being jealous of her, which is probably mostly about “wait really, you’re not the Hero?” but could also partly be a very heavily-suppressed “wait, you’re jealous of me?” Why would the obviously more heroic one here have any reason to be jealous of her?)

(I also love how blatantly she’s lying when she claims she doesn’t care if Kiwi thinks she’s the Hero or not. “It’s totally inconsequential,” yep. Hearing the person who’s actually been saving the world point out how unheroic her choices are is kinda getting to her, it seems.)

When the bugs show up to rescue them and Kiwi realises that they’re the one with the power to decide what happens here, saying that they could leave her here and go save the world right now, Audrey is Not Happy. “Don’t do that! That won’t…” Won’t what, Audrey? They’re going to save the world. Isn’t that a good thing? Doesn’t it ultimately not really matter if you get left behind in a cave so long as the world doesn’t end?

But no. She can’t allow that. She fakes her promise to Kiwi with the full intention of breaking it not only because she’s convinced herself she can’t not end the world, but also because she can’t afford to let Kiwi save it.

(It’s unclear precisely how the Earthsong was meant to work: whether, once assembled, it could have been sung at any time to fix the universe, or whether, like the Wandersong, it still needed to be sung after the last Overseer had been killed. If the latter is true, then Audrey could still have got to feel important by carrying out her task of ending the world while also letting it be saved. But it was never just about that.)

In Act 7, as Kiwi confronts her with the truth that Eyala never lied to or manipulated her, Audrey doesn’t even bother trying to deny it. Instead, she just frames it as “even Eyala turned on me”, and “she was WRONG”. She’s still utterly refusing to admit that maybe Eyala actually had a point about letting Kiwi try and save the world before she ends it – and she definitely won’t admit that perhaps Eyala really thought Kiwi was the better hero, despite who she officially chose.

After the fake-out first time she “kills” the Dream King (before the boss fight starts), Audrey declares, “I win!”. Like that’d ever have been her winning anything. It’s almost like the fate of the entire universe has twisted into a competition to her, to prove that she’s definitely more of a hero than them, that those two losers can’t make any kind of difference at all.

A bad way to be jealous

I love that this game’s three lead characters, who all want to be heroes in some way, are all jealous of at least one of the others for seeming more heroic than them. The big contrast is in how they deal with that jealousy.

Kiwi is so precious and non-malicious about it; they literally admit to it in the same breath as they remark that Audrey must be really special to be able to use the sword. Despite having grumbled a lot in the beginning, Miriam also manages to remain non-malicious about hers in the long run, admitting to being jealous of Kiwi at the same time as she admits that Kiwi inspires her to be like that too.

But Audrey? Not so much.

Those times she shot both Kiwi and later Miriam with her lightning-sword for no good reason were absolutely done out of jealousy. Audrey shot Kiwi right after learning that she’s really ending the world and Kiwi’s been trying to save it; it can’t have been anything but her lashing out in a heated moment of jealous anger at them for being better than her. (Sure, they were rushing at her – but she started charging her sword before they began to do that. And also, what was Kiwi ever going to do to her anyway? Angrily sing in her face?)

The time she shot Miriam was probably also a similar thing. Miriam had just been a hero to those two fairies by helping them escape – how dare she be more heroic than Audrey! And, no, Audrey’s The Hero Totally Knows Best excuse that Miriam shouldn’t have let the fairies out of the spirit world is simply a load of crap; the fairies are not corrupt or dangerous, and the spirit world was about to collapse anyway. (Not that shooting Miriam would have been justified even if that had been a genuine mistake; if someone makes a mistake, you don’t fix it by hurting them.)

It’s not Audrey’s fault that she’s feeling jealous of them, just like it isn’t for Kiwi and Miriam with their jealousy. Nobody can control feeling that way. But what Audrey can control is the way she acts as a result of her jealousy – and she chooses to act like a violent bully and use the fact that she’s the Hero to tell herself she’s in the right. That’s, uh… not a very heroic look for you there, Audrey.

There’s also some more signs of her tendency to put other people down to make herself feel better when she and Kiwi are escaping the cave. When she talks about Miriam, Audrey casually complains about Miriam’s personality like she expects Kiwi to agree with her. She secretly looks up to Kiwi and wants them to like her, not that she’d ever admit it, so she tries to gain favour with them by talking bad about someone she considers to be beneath both of them. That’s also the kind of thing a bully would do.

Naturally, Kiwi is having none of that crap and calls her out on it immediately, making it clear that they care about Miriam a lot more than her and refusing to let her forget the part where she hurt Miriam. It is so adorably Kiwi that they only vent how mad they are about her acting like a bully despite being the “Hero” when they’re thinking about how she hurt their friend. It is also very heartbreakingly Kiwi that they never even think to bring up the time that Audrey hurt them in exactly the same way with absolutely zero attempt at justification. (Their suffering doesn’t matter, right?)

In fairness to Audrey, this angry rant of Kiwi’s does get her to apologise for hurting Miriam and realise that that was not very heroic of her. But the way she explains her apology as “I’m doing my best to be the Hero and do the right thing” suggests that she’s mostly spurred to apologise because hurting someone makes her less of a hero. There’s still no particular indication that she simply genuinely feels bad for hurting someone, Hero or not.

Why care about people?

See, Audrey’s desire to be a hero appears to be largely self-serving, out of a desire for her talents to be admired and appreciated by others, not out of genuine desire to help other people regardless of what it means for her. She just doesn’t seem to have that selfless instinct that’s exactly the thing that makes Kiwi such a naturally good hero even when they don’t believe they can be.

When Kiwi is trying to explain to her why they were kind to the bugs, Audrey is really bad at grasping it. She gets stuck on “How did you even know they would help you?”, completely not getting that that’s not the point and that Kiwi was kind to them simply because everyone deserves kindness. Apparently she is thoroughly unused to the idea of doing something for others without expecting anything in return.

This is also illustrated by the part in Xiatian where she makes Kiwi and Miriam go buy a potion for her in exchange for meeting the king. She never outright needed the potion for anything; it’s just that it didn’t even cross her mind to help them without making them do at least something for her as payment. And it seems Miriam was correct in her assessment that really Audrey did this as an excuse to not have to help them, entirely on the basis that they didn’t help her first. Like nobody could possibly ever expect her – the Hero – to just, you know… do something nice for someone?

Also, in the bugs conversation: “Can you imagine how that feels?” “What, to step on bugs?” It does not cross her mind that Kiwi was obviously asking her to see things from the bugs’ perspective until they clarify. She’s just really unpracticed at caring about others.

Audrey explains to Kiwi that she was always strong and smart and pretty, but that none of those things made anybody care about her. Really, it’s fair enough that they wouldn’t, because those are pretty much just talents, things you have, rather than choices you make about the kind of person you are. But Audrey seems to feel like people should have automatically liked her just for those superficial reasons, rather than for anything about the way she acts. And since nobody actually did care about her for those talents of hers, things she was probably born with, she seemed to feel that there was nothing else she could do to change that. (At least, not until she happened to become the Hero overnight and suddenly her talents were awesome enough that people did care.)

But that’s not really how it works at all. That one crying dude who gets a dog in Chismest says something surprisingly profound in the ending: that while you can’t control whether other people care about you, you can control whether you care about other people, and this tends to naturally lead to people beginning to care about you, too. It seems like this is precisely the thing that Audrey never realised.

When Kiwi asks to be sure that, wait, really, nobody cared about her?, she just casually says, “Why would they?” like it’s perfectly normal. Having learned that being smart and pretty are not actually things that automatically make her liked, she doesn’t expect anyone to extend basic compassion and empathy to her anyway. And, in turn, she sees no point in extending any of that to anybody else, either.

Considering that Audrey felt nobody cared about her prior to her being the Hero, you’d think she’d have had an easier time relating to the bugs feeling small and insignificant, like Kiwi can. But… apparently not? Perhaps becoming the Hero simply went to her head and shifted her view of herself so much that she can no longer even consciously remember what it was like to feel unimportant. Or, perhaps more likely: she was just so used to the thought that nobody should care about anybody without a good reason that the bugs’ situation never crossed her mind as being something that she in particular should relate to.

It’s honestly kind of messed-up and sad that Audrey is like this. After Kiwi explains to her why kindness is important using the example of the bugs, the only comment she has is, “You’re so… simple.” Like she’s still just convinced somehow that their kindness-centring worldview is naïve and wrong. Why is she so sure about this? What kind of childhood did she have to make her grow up thinking this is how the world worked?

…I wish we knew. Or, at least, that we had enough hints to piece it together. I talked a bit in both the Kiwi and Miriam posts about the way their childhoods and awkward family situations explain a lot about how their issues came to be. And in Kiwi’s case, they didn’t even need to ever talk about it themselves for it to be possible to figure it out. So even though Audrey is definitely also someone who wouldn’t want to open up about this, I wish there had been clues anyway.

And there could have been! We don’t even know which of the regions of the game Audrey grew up in; not a single thing (at least, as far as I’ve noticed) indicates where she came from prior to showing up one day as the Hero. But what if one of the regions had had little hints that this is Audrey’s childhood home, something that could help explain why she grew up believing that nobody could ever care about another person without getting something out of it in return?

As it is, it’s so easy to just want to write Audrey off as A Bad Person… but nobody’s born that way. It would be so disappointing if that was just it. No matter how much I enjoy all of her hero issues and delightful obvious hypocrisy and appreciate her as a character, when this is all I can find after digging to the bottom, it’s unfortunately hard for me to like her as a person. And I really wanted to! I wish I could have truly felt whatever messed-up past made her tragically see the world this way, and cared about her as a result of that.

But it’s hard to fully care about a character who’s acting like kind of a self-absorbed dick for a reason that isn’t ever quite explained. It’s a small shame in an otherwise wonderful game, and an otherwise really interesting character!

“That’s not enough”

Another parallel I love about the three “heroes” of this story (using that word loosely in Audrey’s case) is that none of them like to admit to their weaknesses very much. Kiwi is an example of how not admitting weakness can be for the sake of helping others; Miriam is an example of how it can simply be because admitting weakness in and of itself is scary. And Audrey is an example of how not admitting weakness can be entirely self-preserving.

She just didn’t want to not be the Hero. She felt like she had to pretend she was perfect and unbothered by ending the world, because if she didn’t, Eyala might take her powers away and force her back to the way she was beforehand, when she felt small and weak… and normal. (What a strange thing to be afraid of being! Miriam at least would have really loved to be just normal, and a lot of her arc was about coming to terms with the fact that she never will be.) Whatever it was in Audrey’s past that messed her up like this, it’s something she’s really scared of going back to, so much so that she clings to being the true “Hero” who ends the world despite everything.

And Kiwi seemed to get this! Their absolutely lovely final speech to her, reassuring her that she’s special and amazing and really deserved to be chosen as the Hero but doesn’t need to end the world to prove any of that to be true, was something I genuinely thought was going to get through to her. It sounded like exactly what Audrey had always needed and secretly desperately wanted to hear. Her expression seemed like she was actually considering it and being swayed by it, too.

…Yet, somehow, that’s not enough. Despite everything, Audrey ends the world anyway, before Kiwi gets the last Earthsong piece, leaving no chance for saving it as far as she knows.

The reason, as far as I can see it, is that while Kiwi’s speech solved Audrey’s first issue of clinging to ending the world to feel like she’s “hero” enough, it didn’t remotely solve the second issue – namely the thought that Kiwi is more of a hero than her. If anything, it made that issue worse.

There Kiwi was, reaching out to her, being all kind and understanding and heroic, in that wonderful people-oriented way they have. If Audrey had accepted their speech, accepted that Kiwi has helped her, she’d already be accepting that they’re the better hero, before even getting into the part where they’re the one who can really save the world. She simply couldn’t bring herself to let any of that be true.

And Kiwi couldn’t actually address this half of the issue in their speech, because they didn’t even know about it. Why would they? There’s no way they would ever conceive of the idea that someone as cool and talented as Audrey could ever think that an ordinary, unimportant little bard like them was actually an even better hero than her. That never even crossed their mind for their whole adventure. So of course they didn’t bring it up while trying to help her.

But still, even if Kiwi had been aware of that and talked about that too… would it have helped? Or would Audrey hearing that from the person she’s jealous of have just rubbed everything in and made it worse? – look at just how perfect and heroic and humble that damn bard is that they can even recognise and forgive and try to help her with this. Perhaps it was a lost cause from the beginning, simply because the only person who’d ever have tried to reach out to Audrey and help her was the very root of the problem.

Or maybe it wasn’t? Things might have turned out differently if Audrey had happened to have a chance to properly talk with Kiwi earlier, in a different context where they weren’t enemies. Kiwi could have talked her out of ending the world before she’d had all that time to build up her insistent justifications that she simply has to. And more importantly, she’d have had more time to come to see Kiwi as a friend who cares about her and wants to help her feel like a real hero, rather than just someone who’s infuriatingly effortlessly better than her at everything she wants to be. (Just like Miriam came to do!) Maybe with that, her jealousy wouldn’t have mattered so much.

Audrey’s fate

The other big question is: where is Audrey now? She’s nowhere to be seen in the credits.

One option is that she’s still here, just lying low somewhere and no longer drawing attention to herself. One kid in Xiatian, who assumes Audrey’s the one who saved the world, comments that she must have wanted to live like a normal person and admires how humble that is of her. And, well, maybe he’s right. Maybe Audrey not being around any more is a sign that she’s finally learned humility, and she’s not going to try and take undeserved credit for saving the world when that wasn’t actually her doing.

But, really? I’m not sure I believe she’d be able to do that. She killed the Dream King in the first place, without letting Kiwi get the last Earthsong piece, because she still adamantly refused to let Kiwi take the spotlight from her no matter what. Those were absolutely the actions of somebody who’d then try to take the credit for saving the world when she didn’t deserve it. Everyone would have believed her, too! Nobody except Audrey, Kiwi and Miriam knew that the Hero’s job wasn’t actually to save the world.

If there was ever a moment for Audrey to learn humility and accept that the fate of the world is more important than her ego, it would have been that moment when Kiwi reached out to her. Nothing that happened afterwards seems like it would have been enough to change her mind, given that absolutely everything beforehand hadn’t managed to do it.

So, the other option as to what happened to Audrey instead? She’s gone. She didn’t make it into the new universe. She was the one person who didn’t join in with the Wandersong, and therefore the new world that was being created didn’t have her in it.

Consider the moment the world ended from Audrey’s perspective. She kills the Dream King and watches everything fall apart and tells herself she’s won. She’s beaten that silly little not-so-heroic bard. Everything’s been building up to this; in a twisted, desperately-justified way, this is meant to be her moment of glory. But then out of nowhere, she hears a voice, singing, soon joined by hundreds of other voices singing along. It’s that bard again, saving the world anyway, even though she was supposed to have just made it literally impossible for them to do that. They’re being the real hero of the hour after all, despite everything. Not her.

I think it’s very within Audrey’s character to have refused to join in the Wandersong out of bitter, jealous spite, despite knowing full well that she was throwing away her only chance to make it through this alive.

I read an account from the game devs saying that they originally tried putting in a scene with Audrey ambiguously falling to her probable death as everything crumbles after she kills the Dream King. But then they decided to leave it out, because even aside from the fact that it was kinda unclear what was happening, it felt too much like Audrey was being punished for her actions. I pretty much agree with that call; doing something like that would make it feel like Audrey was being punished because she killed the Dream King. That’s rather unfair when that’s literally what she was supposed to do in the first place.

Her real problem wasn’t that she killed the last Overseer in itself, but that she did so without giving Kiwi a chance to complete the Earthsong and save the world. So it feels more narratively appropriate that, if Audrey did in fact end up dooming herself out of existence, she did so as a direct result of her utter refusal to accept that somebody else could ever be more of a hero than her.

#wandersong #audrey redheart #the bard #eyala #character analysis #ramble #when your hero issues prevent you from actually being a hero

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years

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What's your top 10 favorite benders who you most enjoy writing in gladiator? Actually make that top 11 since we all know you'll put Azula in 1st place.

Hahaha xD how predictable am I...?

Admittedly, this is a tricky question because I suppose you meant in combat? But while I have written my fair share of combat, my favorite moments of characters aren't always during fighting scenes xD anyway, let's see what I can narrow down here...

Azula: because you're right and she's just the most fun to write and I love her to pieces no matter what she's up to :> the top spot could never be in question xD

Xin Long: BAHAHAHA! Bet you didn't see that one coming! x'D Okay, now, but he counts too! Dragons are firebenders and Xin Long in particular is a reeeeally fun troublemaker. Definitely love writing his teamwork with Azula, always have <3 they steal the top 2, fair and square! I guess the actual top ten beyond these two is what you were wondering about, though xD top twelve it is.

Ozai: ironically, I don't write him in combat often, but he is a bender and I just... have more fun than I should when I'm writing this bastard. I currently am in a tough spot with him, admittedly I am a loooot more antagonistic to Ozai lately than I usually am... but every scene with this guy is still charged as heck and something I look forward to, for better or for worse.

Toph: when on her downtime, Toph is generally really fun to write. During battles, Toph is really inventive and clever with her bending, an instinctive fighter with whom I can definitely improvise a lot, because she's that deeply connected to her element and everything she can do with it. Yet my favorite, absolute FAVORITE things to write with Toph are the big moments where she comes into conflict with her simplistic take on life, her easy-going, straightforward ideologies and mentality. Her struggles with victory and defeat, the extremes to which she realized she could go (and to which she outright went), and how much she regretted going that far really made her character a thousand times more malleable and dynamic to write for me. She'll be in for further development in the future, when new surprises shake her up and make her question so much of what she's taken for granted throughout the story so far, and she'll still be every bit as epic a bender through all her upcoming hardships.

Rui Shi: oh, my man *sobs* he will have a very solid combat scene in our next arc, probably the first one he really gets, and the first one where he shows just how strong he is, as well as how ruthless he can be if the situation calls for it. He is eeeepic. Beyond his bending skills, his dynamics with his fellow guards, as well as with Azula, Sokka and Song, make him such a highlight in the story for me <3 he might even deserve a higher spot in the list, honestly xD

The Notorious Stingray: does it look ridiculous that he'd be so far up this list? xD I know it may seem that way to some of you atm, but... he's basically the most ridiculous waterbender I've ever written, powerful and capable of controlling and harnessing the natural OP-ness of waterbending like few people can. He is indeed notorious for me, I fear that after what I've done with him it may be difficult to make other waterbenders look half as epic as he does xD

Aang: ... even so, I admit, I have grown to very much enjoy writing the Avatar in recent times :'D haha. That is just the way it is. No spoilers here, but Aang's obvious advantages over other benders due to being the Avatar also make him considerably inventive and capable of things that many others can't really do (even if he's not as much of a specialized bender as most the people in this list are, he's a jack-of-all-trades bender, basically). There's some future plans I have in mind for Aang's character, and I really look forward to writing them all (already got started with some of it and it has been a little more fun than it should be x'D)

Katara: can anyone actually believe this?! I bet not xD but Katara has become another surprisingly fun character for me to write recently, both for bending and character-related reasons. I think my expectations for her character didn't really give her enough credit. So I can safely say she earned this spot xD

Renkai: ... Hehe. Haha. Oops. I mean... you did ask. I am just answering (?) If anyone would wonder why, of all people, Renkai...?! Well, gee. Hehe. Haha. Oops!

Zuko: surprise again! Me and my streak of picking his character apart are very contradictory with this statement, aren't we? :'D but truth be told, Zuko's become a much more interesting character for me lately (Gladiator-exclusively, I must say...), as I'm also recently pushing him into self-reflection in a potentially unexpected way. Both him and Katara looked a loooot worse in the outline than they do in the real thing, and they've become much more interesting to write than I ever expected they'd be. Zuko's also gained some firebending power-ups, hard-earned through his long stay in the Water Tribe, and that self-reflection may just strengthen him further... so he may just become a very fun bender to write, regardless of all my personal clashes with this boy xD

Zhao: I most certainly never expected this guy to grow on me in any possible sense of the words, but my determination not to make him that boring a character definitely saw him evolving beyond all my expectations. It's not so much that I enjoy his bending, much like in Ozai's case... but his role in the story, his potential, all of it make him an interesting character to write about, even if I'm just as likely to butt heads with him as I am with Ozai lately. Still, objectively speaking, he's evolved into one very interesting writing subject.

Renzhi: the Millennium Dragon has definitely been a fun guy to write about too. He's definitely helped me explore some of the boundaries and potential of firebending, his stamina and the strength of his condensed fire have redefined defensive firebending for me. Doesn't hurt at all that he's a really fun character, all around, too nice for his own good, too. If I were a common nobody within the Gladiator world, I suspect I'd be a member of his gladiator fanclub x'D

There's others that might have a few merits that warrant being part of this list... but for now, a top 12 it is, as that's already a little beyond what you requested, anon xD

#anon #gladiator #my fav benders #tbh it's complicated to answer a lot of this when I'm actually working with so many characters I don't do stuff with in P1 and P2 #but you know what...?#... I have realized I have too much fun writing a certain non-bender warrior #more fun than I do writing him in combat than writing most the members of this very exclusive list xD #it's kind of ironic I guess #but that's how Sokka rolls #him and Azula continue to own my sorry ass and will do so for as long as I live as far as I can tell

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margarethelstone · 4 years

Text

Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears | Chapter 3

Chapter 3 / Read on AO3!

“Yes. Yes, I do.”

He could barely hear her voice, so weak and unsure it was. And yet, there wasn't any real hesitation in it – as if she'd been sure about her own wish but not at all confident as to whether she should voice it, whether it was alright for her to admit what that wish was.

Taichi didn't know if he wanted to crush her in an embrace and apologise for making her feel anything of the sort or kick his own bottom for causing that, first.

It had never been her fault.

No.

It was his.

"Come on, then," he replied simply, stepping aside and reaching for both of their bags, hanging them over his shoulders as if it was the most natural thing for him to do. Chihaya didn't react to his actions in any way, but he was no longer surprised by that. She was clearly not herself, lost and confused, bouncing from one emotion to the other, regardless of how contradictory they might have seemed.

He could hardly expect her to flinch or move just because he suddenly wasn't standing next to her.

He shifted his gaze back to her and saw that she was, once again, turned to her right and staring into the distance, presumably focused on the same spot she'd been looking at before. No longer having to choose his priorities, Taichi allowed himself to follow her gaze this time, curious to see what it was that had managed to catch her attention not once, but twice... To determine whether it really was something worthy of paying attention to or if it was just the fact that it was in the opposite direction to where he was.

He was surprised to see that the object she'd been looking at was no less than the playground he himself had mentioned right before he'd stepped through that wretched gate.

Heck, she really had good instincts.

"Looks like you've found a perfect place to make that fall," he said cheerfully, though he still made sure that his tone was gentle. "This is the place I told you about earlier. Seems like I was right, too. About no children around, I mean."

Chihaya nodded in confirmation, her eyes still fixed on the small yard. Then she turned around, sharply, unexpectedly – and winced, seeing the bags in Taichi's hands.

She reached out for hers immediately, but he raised his arm to stop her.

"It's fine, Chihaya, I've got this. Let's just go."

He set off towards the entrance to the playground, about a dozen metres away. He didn't wait for her, didn't insist that she should walk by his side and not behind him; if she had followed him before, there was no reason to think that she wouldn't follow him now.

And the one thing Taichi had no doubts about at all was that she sure needed her space today.

They reached the yard in no time and soon were looking for a bench they might sit on. Taichi made sure that the one they chose wasn't placed directly next to the street, but at the same time, he certainly didn't wish to settle down in some distant, secret spot on the other side of the playground, and not only because it would be foolish to make Chihaya walk any more than she had to. They wanted some privacy; they didn't need absolute seclusion.

He still didn't trust himself enough to stay with her like that.

So he looked around and soon he found a seat that was perfect for their needs. It was close enough to where they stood not to make their stroll towards it seem like a strain, but far enough not to make them feel like they were sitting by the pavement they had just left behind. Without asking Chihaya's opinion, Taichi began to walk towards it, with nothing but a nod to indicate his intentions.

She didn't need a decade of friendship between them to understand that clue.

He glanced back at her a few times, both before and after reaching the bench and couldn't help but notice that her attitude had changed. It wasn't much; just a simple fact that her eyes were no longer cast down, but instead searching the environment around her, as if she'd been trying to determine something, though he couldn't for the life of him tell what it was exactly she was pondering about. She looked calm, on the outside at least. Like... like she was too preoccupied with her thoughts to think of all the distressful issues that had been bothering her so far.

She joined him next to the bank just a few seconds after he'd arrived at it himself, her gaze still scanning every bit of the yard she could view from where she stood. Her arms were folded now; her fingers tightened around the fabric of her shirt as she rumpled it unconsciously, completely unaware of the damage she was doing.

Just as he had thought, she was too lost in thought to care.

"You’d better sit down, you don't want to harm that leg any further," he said evenly, putting both of their bags in the very middle of the bench. "I know you don't think it's serious and you're probably right; still, it's no reason to overstrain yourself when there's no need for that."

Chihaya turned towards him then, though her gaze still wasn't fully focused. "It's just a cut, Taichi, not a broken bone. It doesn't matter if I stand on it or not."

"So it's not hurting, huh?"

"It won't hurt less if I sit down, that's all I'm saying."

She did sit down, however, and without any more prompting on his part. Taichi smiled weakly, his expression a mixture of contentment and relief, and took his seat next to her – or better said, next to the bags he'd so cleverly put in between them.

Perhaps he should have thought it through more carefully.

"I really hope it will heal quickly," he offered, randomly shifting his attention back to the conversation at hand. "You've injured that knee quite severely, given the circumstances. I'm still having trouble understanding how you even managed it."

She shrugged. "I must've fallen on a pebble or something. Anyway, I'll just need to wear the bandages for a little while until it's back to normal. It's not like I'm entering any beauty contests in the near future, so I don't really care how long it takes to heal."

Taichi gave her a curious glance. "It probably won't be very comfortable to kneel on the tatami with it, though. You might want to think of a cushion or something – Doctor Harada has been using those for years, it can't be much of an obstacle. And it would only be for a short while for you."

"That won't be necessary," she cut him off, her head bowing a little lower again. "I mean, the cushion. I won't be needing it. I'll be fine."

"The mat is pretty rough though, if you rest your knee against it, even wrapped up it will get-"

"Taichi," she interrupted him again. "That won't be a problem. I promise."

He didn't contradict her again, in spite of how little he understood her protest. And so they sat together for a while, wrapped up in an awkward silence, neither of them knowing when or how to pick up the conversation again. There was so much to talk about, and yet, each and every subject appeared to be banned, as they all led back to the moment they had last talked openly.

On one hand, Taichi wanted nothing more than to throw himself into it, without hesitation, without second thoughts, ready to risk the last bit of sanity he had left, if only that meant learning what was really going on in Chihaya's mind and heart at last. To finally hear her answer in full, with all the excuses and explanation she might provide, with her telling him what exactly his confession had meant to her – to see for himself if it had left any other trace than the cursed abashment and confusion she displayed every time they as much as passed each other by at school.

On the other, he was terrified by the very idea of what she might say to him if she decided to open up in this way.

At some point, she let go of her crumbled shirt and straightened her arms, choosing to tighten her fingers around the edge of the bench instead. Yet again, Taichi found himself watching her, mesmerised by the sight of her focused, composed expression that at the same time left no doubt about how busy her mind was.

Just what was she thinking about so intensely?

"It's here, isn't?" she asked suddenly, once again managing to take him aback with her volatility. "This playground. It's the one we used to go to when we were kids, right?"

"I... suppose so," he answered her eloquently, unable to understand why she should bring that particular thing up now. "I mean, we went to so many playgrounds over the years, it's hard to stay on track. Though I guess this one is close enough for us to visit it, from time to time anyway. And it does seem... familiar."

"I'm sure it's the one," she continued relentlessly, her gaze still fixed on some distant spot. Suddenly, she straightened up and pointed with her finger at the direction she'd been looking at. "See that swing over there? They always build those in a way where there are two, so kids can swing together with their friends. But here... There's only one. I don't remember any other playground with a single swing like this one."

Taichi's eyes widened a little in recognition, but also in astonishment at the thought process she had just presented to him.

"You may be onto something, actually," he agreed. "I never even thought of it. I guess it didn't seem important at the time."

"How so? It made us take turns swinging, and we couldn't do our jumping contests properly, and-"

"And half the time you made me rock you, no matter how many swings there actually were. I could bet that the jumping contests you've just mentioned were the only reason why you didn't insist on me doing it all the time."

She opened her mouth to oppose him but closed it almost immediately, short of a proper argument. Taichi smiled good-heartedly, amused with her fierce reaction that seemed so contradictory to her previous behaviour, however, one that was so typical of her in general that he couldn't even bring himself to question it.

"Chitose hated coming with us, you know," Chihaya changed the subject, but again, he didn't protest. "She would always whine about how childish we were and how she was forced to babysit us, even though in reality, she was too young herself to be doing that. It didn't stop her from complaining though... And since I've always looked up to her, I really felt bad about it every time."

"Even though you knew she was exaggerating?"

"I didn't know it then. She seemed so much older at the time, and acted as if she really had been. And we surely were a handful when we were ten."

"Speak for yourself," Taichi disagreed humorously. "I was a good boy, who listened to his mother and followed rules all the time. I was the easiest kid to look after in the world."

The playful brag earned him a glare from Chihaya, who then said, "In the fifth grade you dared me to race you all the way from school and then cheated by taking a shortcut I didn't know of. I was so confused when you disappeared that I ran into the nearest lamp post and bumped my head so bad that I thought I'd faint on the spot. I actually had to get stitches afterwards."

"Oh, I remember. I was the one who let your parents know, while you pretended to be fine," Taichi replied. "Funny, how often that happened. Also, I didn't cheat. We never agreed on the route we should take."

This time Chihaya didn't even try to argue her point. Instead, she brought her legs to her chest, grimacing slightly at the stinging she felt after bending her injured knee. Still, she didn't back out, and only made sure that her chin rested on the good one instead. Yet again, Taichi was left wondering as to what she might be thinking of, but chose not to pester her about it. It was one thing to tease her about their childhood adventures and the many messes she'd found herself in – messes he'd sometimes provoked but always made sure to get her out of whenever he'd noticed it was too much for her to deal with; but to bother her with his questions when he still couldn't be sure how much she was willing to tell him...

That was just not the right thing to do.

So he waited, his eyes opened wide and his ears pricked in anticipation for when she would finally decide to speak. He could feel the atmosphere around him thicken and the tension build up; it wasn't long before he felt like after a silence like this the words she said next would be ones that would knock all air out of him, regardless of what subject she decided to touch upon.

You don't take that much time to think of an answer that would bear no meaning to it.

And yet...

"Those were good times, weren't they?"

It was all she cared to say.

And Taichi just stared, because hell, how was he supposed to react? Yeah, I guess, he might have said. It really was, he might have added afterwards. Or perhaps something like, The time outside was fun, though I sure wish my mother hadn't made me take all those violin lessons and extra classes, or that she at least wouldn't have made such a great deal about it and just let me spend more time with you.

He almost did say all that; but just like in most of the matches he'd played against her, he simply wasn't fast enough.

"Taichi..." he heard her whisper so quietly that he could barely tell it was his own name she was pronouncing. "Is... Is it true? That you've had all those feelings for me for so long?"

So, there they were. The words that knocked him out.

He didn't answer her, staring at her wide-eyed instead, swallowing nervously as he thought of the best way to respond. It was then that she finally turned towards him, even though the lower half of her countenance was still concealed behind her legs. Her big eyes bored into his with expectation for a short while, before she turned away again, slouching even further as she hid her face in her knees.

She shouldn't have asked him that.

No, he berated himself. It's exactly what she should do, what she should have done all those weeks ago when he'd told her that he was in love with her. Back then she'd been too stunned, too terrified to ask about it, to ensure that she'd heard him correctly – now, calmer and with more than a few hours of thinking it over (he was now sure that she had thought of it), she was finally requesting the confirmation of what she suspected.

Of what she feared, perhaps.

"You mean, if I was in love with you when we were in primary school?" he asked placidly. "I don't know. I didn't really think of it in these categories back then. I don't suppose ten- or even twelve-year-old boys do in general. I liked you; I was fond of you. You were important to me."

"That's what you could say about any close friends, though," she muttered under her breath.

"Not like this, I couldn't," Taichi refuted. "I mean, of course: I liked Arata as well. I was fond of him. And in a way, he was important to me, too, though I'm still not sure if it was because of him or simply because you were so determined to stick with him yourself. We both know he wasn't someone I would've chosen for a friend on my own."

He half expected her to cry in protest again, telling him how she had no doubt that he would have, even if it wouldn't have happened as quickly as it had with her help. However, she remained silent; and as uncomfortable as it made him feel, Taichi had no choice but to continue.

"You were special to me, Chihaya, much more so than I was ready to admit," he said. "When we graduated... When we got separated in middle school, I hated it. I almost told my mother that I wouldn't go to the one she chose for me," he added with a small smile, one which only grew when Chihaya turned her head to glance at him instinctively. "Of course, I knew she wouldn't hear of it, so I never even tried. It was a horrible idea to back down like that; I can't tell you how many times I wondered what it would have been like if I had said that to her. Technically, I knew the answer – and still, it wouldn't leave me alone. Probably because it was yet another proof of how much of a coward I really was."

He raised his hand and buried it in his hair, combing the slightly too long locks sheepishly. "You came all this way today to tell me that I'm not a coward and I hope to God that you're right. That... I have managed to fix that about myself, to some extent at least. But the fact remains: I was a coward at that time. All the way to high school and well into it, I had to constantly push myself not to give in, not to choose the easier path."

"But you never did that," she broke in. "I can't remember a time when you would even consider it. If anything, I always felt like you were pushing yourself too hard."

"There's a difference between doing things, though, and doing them courageously," Taichi explained. "Truth is, half the time I was throwing myself into one activity or another because it was the simplest way to run from the problems I didn't want to think about."

"Even in primary school?"

Taichi shook his head.

"No. Back then, I didn't realise any of this. I think I was too full of myself to even consider that – my parents told me I was apt, my teachers confirmed it with their praises and grades. My friends liked me and said that I was cool, and I believed them. You... you were probably the only one who actually challenged me back then, but even you didn't recognise what I hid behind that wall of confidence. I didn't, either."

He paused, thoughtful, and inhaled deeply, taking in as much oxygen as he could in that one go; heavens knew he was going to need it.

He turned a little, and looked Chihaya directly in the eyes before adding,

"And that's when Arata came in."

He saw her eyes widen a little as she eyed him carefully, clearly surprised by the sudden turn in his tale. That reaction took him aback a little in turn – he was sure that even without knowing all the details, she should have felt the connection and therefore expected their childhood friend – his childhood rival – to make an appearance sooner or later in his story. However, he now realised that Chihaya really didn't have a clue; apparently even the admission of his wrongdoings those few weeks back wasn't enough to put her on track.

It looked like he needed to start over and go back to the basics, building her understanding of it from scratch.

Somehow, he didn't mind at all.

"Arata was the one who first called me a coward," he said, his voice steady despite the whirl of emotions that rose in his heart. "After I gave him back his glasses, he said that to me. You're a coward, Mashima. No words had ever stung me so much."

"Was it because you'd stolen them?" Chihaya asked, hesitantly. "Because you were afraid of losing to him in that tournament?"

"Those surely were connected, yes," he agreed. "He obviously referred to my stupid theft and the fears behind it. They weren't what had prompted him to say those words, though."

He paused for a second, waiting for Chihaya to chime in again with another question or objection, but none came. He clenched his jaw, realising that he had no other option but to go on without a prompt – to confess once more, risking her anger or (worse) disappointment again.

How many more of those statements was he to do?

"After I'd given him his glasses, I also asked him not to tell you about it," he admitted eventually. "I was so scared of what you might think of me if he did, so sure you would never speak to me again after learning something like this. Not only would you have had every right to do so... but I also knew that you'd have no problem lasting in such a resolve. After all, I had only just tried to shut you out because you'd dared to speak with Arata against my wish, made our entire class do that as well – and you didn't even blink. The natural conclusion on my part was that you didn't care enough to feel hurt or rebel against it... That, if given the choice, you would have chosen Arata without a second thought. And that was before I had acted like a total cheat and jerk."

Both of his hands were in his hair now as he slouched down, resting his elbows on his knees and shutting his eyes, ashamed.

"I know now that it's not what you would've done. You didn't choose Arata because it was him or because you didn't like me. I gave you an ultimatum that was as ludicrous as it was cruel; I told you to make a choice between a lonely kid that everyone was picking on already and a group of self-important teenage twits. Even without your kindness, your pride alone would have been enough to determine your decision. The problem was, I didn't know any of that back then.

"When he called me a coward afterwards, it was like a punch in the guts, painful and unexpected, partly because at the time, I had no idea how ruthless he could be. What hurt the most, however... was the fact that he was right. That the hit I'd been given was one I very much deserved. It made me think my own behaviour over and eventually, it also made me realise the reasons behind it as well. And it isn't just that little, pathetic theft I'm talking about."

"What else then?" she asked at last. "Your reaction to Arata? Or that – what did you call it? - ultimatum you gave me?"

"Both," Taichi replied. "Chihaya, back in primary school, you were my best friend, you know that much. I teased you and I tried you, and I bet there were moments you hated me for it – but even then, I couldn't imagine not having you close all the time. It just... felt wrong. Whenever you stayed home sick or left early because of some family issues, I always felt at a loss, though I certainly couldn't point out the reason so clearly as I can now. The point is, when Arata joined our class and you stood up for him, I felt threatened. You weren't even choosing sides then, quite the opposite. But I got scared anyway, and being the idiot I was, I acted on it."

"You were twelve. You can't expect a child like that to always act rationally."

"There's a difference between being irrational and purposely hurting people because of your anxieties. And trust me, I did want to hurt you. Probably more than I cared about upsetting Arata."

His words lingered in the air for a while before he added, "And then I lost to him anyway."

He was sure she would contradict him with another one of her agitated cries, and if not that, that she would at least turn away from him, abashed, embarrassed, guilty. It hadn't been his intention to pick on her or to make her uncomfortable with his final words – in fact, he wanted to take them back as soon as he'd pronounced them. They'd just slipped out, regardless of his will; no matter how much of an accident it was, however, no matter how much he regretted not being able to have stopped himself in time, it was too late to undo his mistake.

He could only hope that she wouldn't take it too much to heart.

However, when he looked at her again, he was met with a steady, teary gaze, her big bright eyes fixed on his face. Her face was no longer pressed to her knees; instead, it was raised again, with an expression of quiet disbelief painted all over it. She wasn't happy, that much he could tell... but she didn't seem annoyed. He couldn't quite tell what it was she was thinking of or what to expect from her next, except now he knew that she wouldn't run away, at least.

"That's not what happened, though," she whispered finally.

Now it was Taichi who wanted to run.

"Is that so?" he asked, his throat tightening all of a sudden. "How is it not?"

He knew it wasn't the right thing to say, not if he didn't want to upset her further, which he didn't. However, what he also knew was that the only way they would gain something from this conversation was to maintain perfectly, utterly honest, despite the discomfort – or heartbreak – such candour entailed. That meant more than just telling each other the truth, too; but to tell all of it, without holding back or pretending that certain topics were of no interest of them, while in fact they were more than crucial.

It wasn't the right thing to say – but it came from his heart and therefore was the one thing he should have said.

One he had to say.

"You'd chosen him long before you even realised that you needed to," he picked up before she could cut in with her answer. "Look... We spent so much time together these past two years – going to and back from school, practising for tournaments and playing in those, even studying together during our club hours. Sometimes it was just the two of us, sometimes the whole group. We worked, we fought, we had fun. I was having the time of my life, and frankly, more often than not I was ready to admit that it really were the best two years I'd ever had. Only..."

He trailed off and turned away, his hands moving from his hair to his face, now hidden in them. He could feel Chihaya's gaze burning his side but didn't dare to look back at her.

"Only no matter what we did, how engrossed we were in things, be it karuta matches or your birthday celebration, I could always feel Arata's shadow hanging over us," he explained. "On your birthday, he texted me to give you his wishes – but the truth is, he didn't even have to do that. As often as not it was enough to look at your face to see that something was missing – and since I knew how much he'd always meant to you, it wasn't difficult to figure out the rest.

"I know I was being petty, and jealous, and that I had no right to be," he added after a moment. "I let my own dreams take over me, in spite of knowing full well that I'd never really stood a chance against him. Never stood a chance with you. But I wanted to hope anyway; and it made me go crazy every time I was reminded of what my situation really was."

He fell silent then, and this time, he was determined not to make any further comments, no matter how many imploring looks Chihaya might give him. Instead, he decided to sit up straight again and raise his head to the sky, inhaling deeply as he waited for her to speak. His eyes remained closed at first; his hands now rested on both sides of his thighs, fingers curled around the edge of his seat but not really grasping it.

He kept this pose for a while, patient; then he opened his eyes and turned towards her again, a small, gentle smile tugging on his lips despite the hint of hurt and disappointment that he couldn't eradicate from his gaze.

That little smile was the best he could do for her.

He never would have thought that this tiny gesture, this most insignificant expression might cause the reaction that it did cause. He realised something was off as soon as their eyes met; and yet, even that hunch wasn't enough to prepare him for what was about to come next.

He saw a blurry gaze and a bitten lip; a trembling chin and eyes that begged for mercy.

He saw distress and guilt, and reproach, a quiet plea that somehow seemed like the loudest crash, ringing in his ears with a thousand decibels of what should have been a perfect silence.

And then...

Then he saw Chihaya burst into the ugliest sob he had ever seen.

And he had seen a lot.

#Our Sleeves Were Wet With Tears #chihayafuru #taichihaya #mashima taichi #ayase chihaya #sorry for the wait guys those last two weeks were just too much #the next ones will be too so i can't promise a quick update #but i'll do my best not to make it longer than 2 weeks #i love you all and hope you know it

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zmediaoutlet · 4 years

Note

You had a very interesting view about Sam and I agree that it’s not a bad thing. I was wondering what your thoughts are about Dean. He is quite open minded when it comes to sex but the only women we have seen him become emotionally involved with over a longer period of time are “hot”.

This is hearkening back to a LONG TIME AGO with the headcanon that almost shall not be named, because people got so shitfit pissy about it, but hey, maybe some of those people have permanently lost internet access and we don’t have to hear from them anymore: it was about how I like quietly playing with the idea of Sam being a tiny bit physically shallow. I repeat: it’s a damn interesting idea. Especially with how Sam is so consciously (and it is conscious, to the point of being self-conscious) Politically Correct, and ‘enlightened’, and all. Anyway. That’s some old shit. On to this new shit.

Definitely, Dean prefers the hot, too. I mean, of course he does–who doesn’t? Lisa was smokin’, no doubt about it, and he’s smokin’ too–tens settling naturally with other tens, that’s the way it goes. Isn’t that some internet saying? That you don’t naturally move more than one deviation away from your ‘ranking’? That’s definitely been Dean’s truth. (Of course, lately we’re supposed to pretend that he’s not one of the most exquisite creatures to walk the earth–dad bod? really? come on, twats.)

Still, can’t you see Dean going for a–pardon the phrase–chonker? Maybe not a size 18 jeans, zitty, bad hair Kmart lady (does she even exist in the world of Supernatural?), but someone with a little… what was the phrase. Give. I’m thinking of the fatsucker episode, where they were talking to that girlfriend, and while she talked about her fat dead husband Sam was faintly repulsed and Dean just looked thoughtful. A little cushion for the pushin’–doesn’t seem like a bad idea, really. There’s also way back in that first Gabriel episode. Granted, hard to pull canon from that since it’s a rashomon story, but Dean’s vision of the grad student was a sexy black dress–Sam’s vision was a, yes, slightly chunky white trash chick, and Dean seemed perfectly happy to be there. The thing is, I can picture Dean happy with either version–eager and thrilled and ready to bang at the slightest invitation–which I can’t do, with Sam. Sam found white trash chick faintly repulsive, too; just look how his POV relates the story, with her half-puking and then swallowing it, and her blue eyeshadow, and both of them sloppy. He’s clearly grimacing, and it might be because of behavior entirely, but then why does his POV put her in an entirely different body? The grad student actress could’ve played both roles–but she didn’t, and I think that tells us a leetle something.

The thing is that, duh, TV world, both of them are super sexy and most of their hookups are going to be wannabe starlets who are also sexy. That’s just the way it goes. But the part I find genuinely interesting is in the difference between their attitudes. Dean just comes across as… happy to be there? “Oh, you want to have sex with me? Hooray!” I’m sure he has preferences, too, but everything I can think of seems to be a personality preference–Bela’s hot as fuck, but he will not have sex with her because he finds her personally repulsive. Same as the middle-aged ladies in Ask Jeeves–if they’d been cool and not awful, I can one hundred percent see Dean being the filling in a MILF sandwich and then bragging about it afterwards to Sam. In contrast, Sam comes across with much stronger preferences. Note, clearly not (canonically) demisexual, since he banged down with Piper after a single diner conversation and with Dr Cara after a total of half an hour of case-related talk–he’s dtf and I love him for it. But he’s also not dtf with any random lady who waves her cooch his way, and that’s… great.

Isn’t that great? It’s not a bad thing, to have preferences–it’s only cool-different-strange when those preferences are counter to your expectations for a character. Think how easy it’d be to write Badass Cool Guy Dean as someone who rolls his eyes at the chicks who throw themselves at him, and to have him be cold, and only fuck just the right femme fatale who measures up to his standards. We know that character, we’ve had to hang out with him. How totally unexpected and fuggin delightful is it that the real Dean is in fact none of that, and is instead a warm muffin who grins about all the ladies and goes so soft under affection that he practically dissolves into a puddle? And then by contrast: educated feminist liberal Sam, it’d be so easy to picture him with a beautiful at any size t-shirt on, and seriously blogging about how society’s expectations are harmful blah blah blah. And the thing is, I bet he would; I just find it more interesting if, in his heart of hearts, he doesn’t actually feel it. Characters are always more interesting with contradictory layers.

#shallow!sam #yeah i said it #i maintain that most of the reason people were pissed #comes into two categories #'saint sammy has no flaws how dare you?!?!?!'#as though having a preference is a flaw #but also:#'how dare you imply sam wouldn't fuck me???'#which i think was the crux of the matter #he doesn't like fat chicks and that's fine #as a fellow fat chick: i wouldn't expect sam to fuck me either #stick to the c-list starlets sam #it's your echelon #spn meta #Anonymous

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lightsburnbrite · 3 years

Text

Things We Do for Love: Part 12

Third Part to Such a Thrill and The Devil is in the Details

Karina was in the process of fixing herself a cup of tea when she heard the signal that someone was at the gate. As soon as she recognized Marius's car on the monitor, Karina pressed the button to allow her brother to enter. While she waited for the car to pull up, Karina contemplated putting the dogs in their bedroom but ultimately decided against it. This was her home and Samantha practically invited herself so she would need to deal with the presence of Karina's dogs.

Opening the front door, Karina welcomed her brother and his fiancé in, directing them to put their bags at the bottom of the stairs. "I'll show you your room in a minute but I'm slow as anything going up and downstairs so you might just want to wait until Leon gets back."

Suddenly Samantha perked up. "Oh, he's not here?"

"He just ran to the store for a minute." Karina did nothing to hide the skepticism in her voice. "He'll be back in a minute."

Marius cleared his throat. "So you've done some redecorating since the last time I was here."

"Yeah, well, I've made things more my style." Karina offered a pleasant smile but Marius knew better.

"Oh! Can we get a tour?" Samantha chimed in, oblivious to Karina's frosty reception to her brother.

Karina smiled again through gritted teeth. "Of course."

Karina turned and gestured to the room they were standing in. She was half tempted to have that be the entirety of the grand tour, but she decided to play nice. "This is the great room, there's a patio right outside with a grill and different seating arrangements but chances are we won't be using that this weekend. The pool and the hot tub are to the right."

Motioning for them to follow her, Karina took a few more steps. "Kitchen and dining room. The pantry and wine closet are those steps."

"Wine closet?" Samantha interrupted. "I like the sounds of that!"

Karina forced a smile again. "Room temperature storage for reds and a temperature-controlled section for whites that are ready to be served. Help yourself to whatever you'd like."

She motioned that they'd be returning to the direction where they first started. "One guest room is down the hall, my office is there as well. Upstairs we have two more guest rooms and mine and Leon's room. Downstairs is the entertainment centers with a bar, pool table, and projector. We can put a movie on later if you want."

Karina was about to take them upstairs when Leon came in carrying a few bags from the market. "Hey, babe. I was showing them around. Do you want to take them around upstairs and I'll get dinner started?"

"I mean, yeah, I can do that." He went to go put the bags in the kitchen, kissing Karina on the cheek as he passed her. "But I thought we could work on dinner together."

In her periphery, Karina saw Marius roll his eyes. It didn't click into her right away but in hindsight, Karina felt that Marius was jealous. At first, she seriously considered that he was jealous that Karina was getting the majority of Leon's attention and his affection but it wasn't until she spent more time around Marius and Samantha that Karina realized that he didn't seem completely happy with Samantha.

"Do you all really need to fix dinner together?" Marius attempted to deliver his question with some humor but it fell flat.

Leon shrugged. "Maus wanted to fix chicken fricassee and it's a lot of chopping things. It just cuts down on the prep time."

"Why do you keep calling her Maus?" They all turned to see Samantha with an exaggerated look of confusion on her face. "I thought her name was Karina."

"My name is Ekaterina but Marius couldn't say that so my family has always called me Karina instead." This was the first that Leon had heard as to why she went by a nickname instead of her full name and he couldn't help but feel like she was a little resentful about it. "Leon has called me Mausi since we were young, I was small for my age and I liked to annoy my older brother and his friends which included Leon."

Leon laughed. "It was definitely some mutual teasing. We went our separate ways as we got older but reconnected a few years ago and she's always been my Maus."

Samantha frowned slightly before changing the subject. "Oh. That's…sweet. I bet it's beautiful here in the Spring."

"Year-round, actually." Karina smiled but there wasn't any warmth behind it. Leon wanted to laugh because she was really good at pretending to be pleasant when she wanted to be but now she clearly didn't mind Marius and Samantha knowing this was simply a façade for her.

"You guys want to grab your bags so you can put them in your room?" Leon gestured towards their luggage before he moved closer to Karina. "Did you want to come up too?"

Karina shook her head. "I think the girls might like their dinner ow, anyway."

Leon started up the stairs and motioned for the other two to follow them. Once he reached the bridge that overlooked the great room and connected the two wings of the second floor, Leon turned to the left. "There are two rooms on either side, they're both pretty much the same size and both have full baths so I guess whichever one you want."

"I'm not sure how I feel about the guest rooms being all spread out." Samantha sounded concerned now. "How do we choose who we put where?"

Stopping at the end of the hallway which then split off into the different rooms, Leon wanted to say that maybe they should have considered a different option before asking to use their house but instead just smiled.

"We've always put my parents in the guest room on the first floor and then my sisters with the older kids downstairs, there are a couple of bunk beds setup. My nieces and nephews have always liked staying there."

Leon stood aside and waited while Samantha decided which room they'd be staying in. After settling on the room that faced the mountains, Samantha turned back to Leon. "Can we see that master suite while we're up here?"

He shrugged before walking towards their bedroom. "This is the sitting or dressing area, the balcony opens up when the weather is nicer."

Samantha looked around and walked towards the vanity and trifold floor-length mirror. "This is amazing."

"Um, the bedroom is through here and the bath is to the right." Leon did a quick glance to make sure that nothing inappropriate was left out before stepping further in. "That's about it."

"We passed this on the way here!" Samantha moved closer to the chest where she saw a picture of Leon and Karina standing on the bridge with the Ramsau church behind them. Leon had his arms around Karina's waist while she had wrapped her arms around his neck, holding a bouquet of sunflowers in her right hand while they kissed. "Was this your wedding day?"

Leon glanced around, hoping they'd be ready to leave soon. "That was the church ceremony. We were married for about a year before that. We should be getting back downstairs if we're going to eat anytime tonight."

When they made it down to the main level, Karina was browning the chicken while Elsa and Ember sat at her feet.

"Can you put the dogs away?" Marius had seemed to be on edge ever since they arrived but his irritation with Karina seemed to be growing. "You already know the mutts bother Sam."

Karina frowned. "No. I'm not shutting my dogs away in their own house. You both asked to come here, remember?"

"Anyone want a drink?" Leon interrupted. "Water, wine, hard liquor?"

"Could you get me a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc for the sauce, please?" Karina turned to Leon and smiled, getting a laugh out of him. "Why don't you guys go play Call of Duty or whatever, I'll finish dinner."

Samantha let out a little squeal of excitement and Leon happened to catch Karina's scowl just before she put on a smile. "That's a great idea. We can do some sisterly bonding!"

Leon pressed his lips together so he didn't laugh at her suggestion, he was even slightly disappointed that he wouldn't be there to see Samantha's futile attempts at building a friendship with Karina.

He and Marius went downstairs and set up a quick game of Madden since it wouldn't be too long until their dinner was ready. After about 15 minutes, Samantha wandered downstairs.

"Ok, I have to ask," Samantha dramatically flopped herself onto the sofa next to Marius. "How are the two of you related? And how are you even married to her? I tried for ten minutes to have a conversation with her and all I could get was one or two word answers."

Marius rolled his eyes. "We've never been even remotely similar. I have no idea what Leon sees in her."

"Haven't we had this conversation before?" Leon laughed as he shook his head. "You've been a dick to her pretty much your entire lives. Your whole family treats her like shit and yet you're surprised when she's suspicious of you? I mean, the only reason you're actually speaking to her again is that you want something from her."

Samantha sat up straighter, smart enough to realize that she had struck a nerve with Leon. "No, I mean…what I was trying to say is-"

"I mean it," Leon shrugged, giving only the slightest of hints as to how fiercely protective he had become of Karina. "I have no problem kicking you all out."

"I'm sorry," Samantha blurted out her apology. "I guess she's just more introverted than I'm used to."

Leon looked to Marius as if he was waiting for a snide contradictory remark but Marius looked away. "I'm going to check on dinner."

When Leon walked into the kitchen and saw Karina taking the enamel pot out of the oven, he knew it was close to being ready. He waited until Karina had tossed the dishtowel she used to hold the pot aside before wrapping his arms around her waist and kissing her.

Karina instantly smiled as her cheeks flushed. "What was that for?"

"Just wanted you to know how much I appreciate you." He flashed a broad smile at her. "Need me to set the table?"

Pressing her lips together, Karina raised an eyebrow. "Yes…what did Marius say about me?"

"Nothing." Leon shook his head but didn't look up at Karina. Once he finally made eye contact, he shrugged. "Samantha may have mentioned something about you not being very personable."

Karina feigned chagrin. "Oh dear, I'd hate for them to feel unwelcome."

After Leon had set the table he returned to Karina's side. "You know, they're still in the basement."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Karina smirked as Leon leaned up against the counter, resting his hands on either side of her. "Are you propositioning me?"

Leon leaned forward so that his forehead was touching her's. "I'm not sure we have enough time for that but we don't have to tell them that dinner is ready just yet."

With a smile, Karina wrapped her arms around Leon's neck so she could kiss him. Leon pulled Karina against him, sliding his hands to give her backside a squeeze. Closing her eyes, Karina let out a soft giggle while Leon started kissing her neck.

"Um," Marius cleared his throat. "I don't need to see that."

Leon laughed as Karina's face blushed a bright red. "Oh hey, dinner's ready!"

Marius rolled his eyes as he walked towards the table, Samantha not far behind.

"What?" Leon's grin widened. "Am I not allowed to show my wife some affection?"

"It's bad enough that I have to acknowledge that my sister has sex, I don't need it shoved in my face that she's having sex with my best friend." He huffed as though that should have been obvious to Leon.

"You don't want to know that your sister is really good at-"

"Seriously!" Marius began to sulk. "Can we just eat?"

Leon helped to bring the food over to the table while Karina put a few bottles of wine out as well as a pitcher of water. They all sat in silence while savoring the first few bites until Samantha spoke up.

"This is delicious." She chewed a few more bites. "What's it called again?"

"Chicken fricassee. It's a pretty simple recipe." Karina responded without looking up from her plate. Then she frowned as though she was having second thoughts. "I can send the recipe to Marius if you'd like."

Samantha laughed. "Oh, you don't need to do that, I'm horrible in the kitchen. But you could make this for our engagement dinner."

Leon looked up, waiting to see Karina's response only to see her smile politely.

"I think there's been a miscommunication here." Karina continued to smile. "First, it's your dinner. You asked if you could have it here, which I graciously agreed to but I am not hosting. That means that everything from the menu to serving and any sort of entertainment is all up to you. I'm not your fucking servant."

Samantha's eyes widened as though she just realized she had struck a nerve with Karina. "I just thought…I have no idea where to even begin."

Karina stared at her for a moment, to the point where Leon thought she was going to mention how that wasn't her problem. Instead, she shrugged. "I can give you the name of a chef that I've used in the past. He is willing to cater."

#things we do for love #leon goretzka #Football Fanfiction

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convxction · 3 years

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diary with 197

nonverbal meme prompts | no longer accepting | @pieman1112

[ diary ] receiver writes a journal entry about sender ( maybe they find it ? )

It was the usual for a commander to write down notes about his company and their achievement, but for chrom it was not just simply listing the income or the outcome, or how many casualty was dealt on both sides. He liked to write about his own experience with leading the shepherds. It is something he picked on after one of his tutoring told him he better write his thoughts down if he want to have a better understanding of himself--suggesting poems at that time. Which he still do, from time to time; writing poems.

His journal is a mix of telling tales of their adventures and reporting his everyday activities, occasionally his thoughts on some of the crew members. In one of the pages, there was a part for Spartan--his Father-in-law. Chrom most of the times keep the journal in his tent by the bedside but for today he took it with him because Frederick was at it again with finding every problem in the tent to fix it. It’s not like he has a problem anyone seeing it; what is in the book is something he had personally said or conveyed to people. Chrom was not the time to say something and say something contradictory behind someone’s back. He was already jotting down some notes for him to remember.

Waiting by one of the trees, Chrom sat the journal down to take a nap and after a half hour he was called by Robin to join in some brainstorming ideas for the next march to which he got up and forgot the journal.

It seems that Spartan was around the area when he spotted the journal. S.T.A.R. suggested to check the content to know the owner but it was obvious it was either for Chrom or Lissa deducing from the Iris insignia on the cover, which is the royal symbol of the royal family. Though it still didnt tell him much on which of the two so he had to open a random page to find out. Lucky shuffle and he landed on the page Chrom was recounting one of his trips to the UNSC. It’s the day he was mistaken for a candidate to the SUPER SOLDIER program just like Spartan. Chrom writes:

“It was an honor for them to acknowledge my power and skill but it was kind of frightening that they were willing to let me part of that program without checking first. I think it is my fault since I was too excited to write new weapons and learn new techniques. Had not for Hunter I might have wrecked more than three training dummies and a wall. And that shooty contraption. Hunter said it produce something called ‘laizer’. It really is something to think twice before coming near it. Hunter was amused that I got this far on the exam without taking the proper training for what is to be expected from a super soldier. It seems he in favor of me continuing the exam but I honestly didn’t know if it was a good thing. I like getting stronger but this kind of strength could backfire on me back in Ylisse. I have not gained the people’s respect by force so it feels like a risky move to take. Hunter respected my decision and he said if i ever changed my mind it is always available which is kind of nice of him. I think he was smiling... I bet he smiled. He do smile occasionally but mostly for Lucina and the children so it felt nice to see him happy. Maybe I should ask him to teach me about that strange sword, energy sword I believe it was called.”

#pieman1112 #⚔ic.⚔ (let my action prove my worth)#⚔answer.⚔ (final answer)#⚔verse.⚔ (the sky travelers)#[[hehehe~

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serashapes · 3 years

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s e r a p h i n a d i a n a a n a s t a s i a p a r k i n s o n

basics:

name: seraphina diana anastasia parkinson. pronunciation: seh·ruh·fee·nuh dai·a·nuh a·nuh·stei·zhuh paar·kuhn·sn. meaning: seraphina- burning one. diana- supplier of beneficence and wellness. anastasia- resurrection. birthday: december 3rd. age: twenty-four. pronouns: they, she & her. sexuality: pansexual. siblings: julian parkinson (older adoptive brother), allegra fawley nee parkinson (older adoptive sister). parents: archer parkinson & merritt parkinson nee rosier. other family: david & ella griffiths (biological parents). languages: english. current residence: a penthouse near acid nightclub. hometown: london.

wizard fun:

hogwarts house: hufflepuff. year of graduation: 1977. occupation: owner of acid nightclub & professional keeper for the falmouth falcons. pet: a cat named bubblegum. blood status: muggleborn, but assumed pureblood. species: metamorphmagus. patronus: flamingo. people with the flamingo patronus know how to use their hearts to find the right solutions to their problems. they also find comfort in group situations. therefore, folks with this patronus know how to maintain their individuality within large groups and enjoy being around people. these people are often flirtatious and flamboyant in the way they dress. moreover, they know how to balance a busy lifestyle and often find themselves in a supportive role when someone is having relationship problems. they also know how to help them heal and move on. their decisions in life usually come from the heart. boggart: her worst fear is the idea that she will be found out. her true parentage will come to light and put not only her, but everyone she loves’ lives in danger. amortentia: broom polish. quidditch has been seraphina’s passion for as long as she can recall. there is nothing more peaceful to her than an entire day spent on the quidditch pitch. the smell of broom polish is equivalent to those serene moments when she prepares. coconut. it is a warm and inviting scent that sera associates heavily with her favorite desserts, lotions, and places to travel to. lemon. lemons are a guilty pleasure for seraphina. they are her favorite and go-to snack on any given day. she loves to add lemons to anything. wand type: 13 1/3″ hawthorn wood, phoenix feather, unbending. the wandmaker gregorovitch wrote that hawthorn ‘makes a strange, contradictory wand, as full of paradoxes as the tree that gave it birth, whose leaves and blossoms heal, and yet whose cut branches smell of death.’ while I disagree with many of gregorovitch’s conclusions, we concur about hawthorn wands, which are complex and intriguing in their natures, just like the owners who best suit them. hawthorn wands may be particularly suited to healing magic, but they are also adept at curses, and I have generally observed that the hawthorn wand seems most at home with a conflicted nature, or with a witch or wizard passing through a period of turmoil. hawthorn is not easy to master, however, and I would only ever consider placing a hawthorn wand in the hands of a witch or wizard of proven talent, or the consequences might be dangerous. hawthorn wands have a notable peculiarity: their spells can, when badly handled, backfire. this is the rarest core type. phoenix feathers are capable of the greatest range of magic, though they may take longer than either unicorn or dragon cores to reveal this. They show the most initiative, sometimes acting of their own accord, a quality that many witches and wizards dislike. affiliation: the death eaters.

appearance:

height: 5′2″. hair color: variable. prefers pink. eye color: variable. prefers purple. typical hair style: sera’s hair is usually the first sign that she is a metamorphmagus. she has very littler control over the changing color with her emotions. however, the style is almost always a clipped, choppy, and short bob. some days she is in the mood for long silky hair, though. it just depends on her mood. she rarely wears it up because the ties pull when she shifts. fashion style: colors. patterns. textures. sera likes things to be bright and bold and different. she loves mixing feminine and masculine styles. she wears very high heels since she is so short. she likes to wear furs, leathers, sequins, silk, and spandex. sera wears a lot of things that might not mix well together, but seems to make it work for her. she has a very early punk and glam rock style. [ fashion ] distinguishing features: her face changes shape. the most distinguishable feature about sera is that she can have any feature at any time. the face that is generally accepted as her normal has high cheekbones and sweet, rounded dimples. sera has a friendly face.

personality:

positive traits: resilient. cooperative. follower. negative traits: egocentric. irascible. stupid. theme song: bubblegum bitch by marina.

headcanons:

sera actually has great eyesight. her peripheral vision is especially good due to how much she uses it while flying. however, she can be a little sensitive to light and wears a lot of sunglasses when she’s outside.

during her fifth year, sera almost died during a quidditch accident. it’s one of the few things that she actually never talks about anymore. she pissed off a handful of slytherins. a couple were on the quidditch team. two aimed bludgers at her, while a third in the stands hexed her broom to freeze in the air. one bludger clocked her on the side of the head and did some serious damage. the other broke her arm. she jumped from the broom immediately after to block a quaffle. she broke her broom, bounced off the goal ring. it landed her in st. mungo’s for a little while. when she got back to school she’d just heard that the ones who’d caused the incident had been taken care of by her friends. paris wouldn’t explain any more than that. this, of course, being only one of the most notable in a lengthy list of injuries.

sera struggles with in betweens. to settle down and fall asleep is always a struggle as is waking up out of sleep she’s already in. so she is more than content to sleep until she wakes naturally on her days off. usually that’s still well before lunch time. often it’s due to light streaming through the window and causing her to sneeze.

biography:

It was an early frost. The sun had only just set and each breath exhaled produced a puffy cloud of steam from the nostrils and lips of the hospital patrons as they entered and exited the sleek, upscale building. It was the Griffiths’ third child. The private birthing suite at the hospital had been reserved for a day and a half by the time labor started.

They were the picture perfection muggle family for a short time. Both mother and father bursting with pride at the three perfect, healthy offspring. It lasted in bliss until the first time that infant Seraphina laughed. Her raven dark locks shifted to a bright, inexplicable pink. It was the same color as a cloud colored by a sunset. No expense was spared as they took her to doctors and experts in various fields to attempt to explain her shifting features. It was when things started floating off of shelves, rattled off the wall, and zipping up from the ground that the Griffiths could take no more.

A friend of a friend of a friend who was in the know took the babe to a magic adoption agency. The Griffiths paid well to ensure the trail back to them was nearly impossible to discover. They didn’t want an angry witch or wizard coming after them some time down the line. That was how the Parkinson’s discovered the babe.

Archer and Merritt Parkinson had already given birth to two children when they came to the decision for a third child. The social elite of pureblooded society, they were well known for their philanthropy. The Daily Prophet had done plenty of stories on the couple’s generosity. While some claimed that the very publicized adoption was just another stunt to gain public appeal, the truth was that they couldn’t have another child due to complications that Merritt faced when she’d had her last child.

Of course, that wasn’t a reason to avoid using the adoption to their advantage. They needed a child and a pureblooded one at that. It was the bundle of swiftly changing hair that caught their heart. An infant metamorphmagus was a rarity, and they were told of her pureblooded parents who passed from dragon pox in another country had been a tragedy. (An insignificant lie if it got the babe adopted, right?) What reason would they have to doubt it? Obviously the infant possessed magical abilities and that was a safer bet than potentially adopted a squib. It was a win all around. Thus, Seraphina Diana Anastasia became the newest and welcomed member of the Parkinson family.

Childhood for the Parkinsons was not all too different from any other pureblooded family. They were often flaunted in the name of their parents’ many pureblooded charities, but they never wanted for anything. Despite how public her adoption was, Sera never felt unwanted or out of place with her family. She was never made to feel anything less than a Parkinson. Seraphina embraced her role. She was ever the dutiful daughter, although she had a penchant for not thinking things through very well. But why would she need to? Any trouble that she came across, her parents would find a way to fix.

As they got older, Seraphina grew prone to long periods of boredom as her siblings became old enough to go to school. It was during this time that she first discovered her love of flying. Soon enough it became time for Seraphina to go to Hogwarts. While she’d somewhat expected to get sorted into Slytherin with the rest of her peers, she wasn’t upset when the Sorting Hat decreed her a Hufflepuff. Her marks were always average in everything but flying. Frankly, she didn’t care to practice anything except Quidditch. She joined the team her second year and it has been her passion since.

Life was normal. Well, as normal as it could be for a young, shapeshifting witch until the summer before her sixth year. An attack decimated an old orphanage not too far outside of Godric’s Hollow. Her mother was fast to say it was tragic that they’d lost the place that Seraphina had been adopted from. It was strange. Her adoption had never been the focal point of her life. More of a mere passing fact in the biography of her story. However, that sentence planted a seed in her. The attacks that were popping up over the nation, her father’s beliefs he became more and more vocal about, the tension of her peers… it all made one point abundantly clear. Blood was becoming more important by the day.

It was time to discover just precisely what bloodline was hers. Seraphina began digging. There wasn’t much to be recovered from the incinerated files of the old orphanage, but galleons greasing the palms of the right people supplied her with the right direction to continue her inquiries. It took time. It took money. It took resources that her mother was not always so willing to arrange. Eventually, Seraphina uncovered the not so pure history of her past. Then she destroyed every evidence of it. No one could ever know lest her own life or the life of her family be forfeit. She wouldn’t let that happen, no matter what. Besides, it didn’t change anything. Not really. Seraphina was what she’d always been raised to be.

It was less than a week later that she began to ask her father about taking the Dark Mark. While hesitant to allow his youngest daughter into the less savory nature of his organization, Archer Parkinson was proud of her tenacity. However, it was the rest of her that impressed the right people under the dark hoods. Seraphina became notoriously able to take a hit and keep going. Her temper could shift at the drop of a hat, and there no were apparently no lengths to which she would not go. She was an incredibly loyal and malleable follower in more than one way. It was swiftly agreed that her loyalty would be an asset. Sera took the Dark Mark the month before her last year of schooling was to begin, a fact which was easy to hide given her particular abilities.

Her marks swiftly fell to below average as Sera struggles to come to terms with the truth of her existence, with what she will do to hide it, with her ambition towards her quidditch career, and with her new found responsibilities. The girl who has always stood out by nature, is desperate to fit in. Survival became the only thing that mattered. Luckily, those with the mark stuck close together, and she relied more heavily on her friends than ever before despite the secret she kept from them.

Once she graduated (barely), Seraphina was offered positions on several Quidditch teams. She was marketable. They wanted her name, her style, her skills on the pitch, and eventually Sera decided to become a permanent member of the Falmouth Falcons as the Keeper. Between her matches, Seraphina worked for the Dark Lord’s desires. There had never been a hesitation to do what she was told to do. It grated on her a bit. Then when the season was over, Seraphina realized that she needed far more distractions from her extracurriculars and the fear of her secrets. That’s when she discovered Acid. Owning a club was just the right fit for her. It was perfect and soon it too was growing in popularity. Never had it been more difficult to keep a secret in the spotlight.

#ahintro #;about #;biography #;sera #;inspo

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cloudbattrolls · 3 years

Text

The Tithe

TW: bugs, worms, mild body horror (nothing heavily described).

Wasps buzzed along the winding rock path.

A solitary figure trudged along it, surrounded on both sides by thick clouds of yellow and black. The insects darted among the yarrow and monkshood, the bluebells and sego lilies, antennae and eyes alert as a stranger to their land passed by.

Nestled in a valley between two peaks, the path led to a town so old it was almost part of the land itself. All its signs were weathered and worn with sun and rain, replaced only when they began to crumble.

The traveler paid the fluttering wasps no mind. They didn’t see the few white ones hidden among the yellow, black, and gold. The white ones saw them instead, faceted gazes following them without pause. These few creatures waited, buzzing among the flowers that braved the growing alpine chill.

The traveler looked over the town before they walked down into it - even the buildings were shaped like wasp nests, roundish wooden structures with hexagonal windows.

Someone certainly had picked a theme and run with it. Maybe the place belonged to some wacky entomologist.

People in the town spoke with accents the traveler hadn’t ever heard, and they had traveled quite a while. The townsfolk said it was because few of them ever left. They never felt the need; they were well taken care of, anything they could want brought to them.

By who? The traveler asked.

The people only smiled. Stay, and you’ll meet her, they assured them.

Golden wasps adorned the doors, gleaming under the light of old-fashioned street lamps. The traveler didn’t ask, hoping to figure it out themself. It was more fun that way. Perhaps this caretaker kept the living ones to defend the place from the rest of the world.

Everyone in town always seemed to have as much food and comforts as they wanted, lacking for very little. Everyone seemed to have someone for company, and as much as they needed without excess. No trash blew in the wind, no houses were abandoned.

Everyone wouldn’t answer any further questions about their caretaker. It was waved away with a smile, with an indifferent shrug. She’d come eventually. End of the month at the latest. No rush.

The traveler was pretty sure something really weird was going on by this point, because they weren’t a complete idiot.

They also felt bad after discreetly drinking blood from a lot of these people (it wasn’t like there was anyone else for miles, and they preferred that to going feral from hunger, thanks). It would be nice to maybe see if there was anything they could do in return for using them as snacks (assuming they weren’t all in some kind of evil bug cult).

If everyone turned out to be too cuckoo to bother with, well, they could always leave.

So, what do you folks most enjoy?

They’d asked one night, feet up on the table. They leaned back in their chair, arms bent and hands cupped behind their head.

Getting piss drunk, one man had said. Another person elbowed him, and a few people laughed. Then a young woman piped up, fingers running over a beautiful amber necklace she wore.

It’s always nice after the tithe. We celebrate, and she brings us presents. It’s a little festival.

A few older townsfolk sighed at that.

It’s not about presents! One scolded. Yes, she’s very kind about it, but it’s our most important duty.

Yeah, yeah, grumbled the young woman good-naturedly. You see how righteous you are when she brings your new stuff.

Their ears pricked, the traveler said nothing, hoping to hear more about the tithe. But no one spoke of it further, the conversation turning to other things.

Well, that didn’t bode well, yet they were morbidly curious to see how this would all play out.

There was a big fountain in the center of town (guess what lived there? More wasps) that they liked to sit on the benches near and work on repairing or designing clothing at. They’d mended some things for the people who kindly let them stay, baffling in of itself that they were so trusting. How did they survive, honestly.

When a fleet recruiter came to town trying to drum up soldiers and did not even get to open his mouth a second time before wasps ate him alive, shedding a bit of light on that particular question.

The bones were picked clean so white there wasn’t a scrap of meat left, collected by townspeople who acted as if they were merely picking up some trash blown in the wind. Townspeople who merely shrugged and rolled their eyes as if it was all quite routine.

Which left the traveler with a fairly obvious question: why hadn’t they been attacked?

Not that they could bleed, of course, their skin and outer appearance a facade for their parasitic insides. Did the predatory wasps recognize something they couldn’t eat, and thus let them pass? Were they intelligent enough to be security guards? They certainly didn’t seem to harm the locals.

Though they certainly followed them everywhere. No one walked without a wasp or two trailing them, and they’d seen them crawling in the buildings. No one ever commented on this. Flowers grew in abundance, treated reverently, and people polished their little door wasps as reverently as if they were being paid to do it.

Okay, so the town was there to serve the wasps, probably. But why? Who put them here, what were they protecting? Was there something worse than them around, demanding some sort of tribute for their services in the form of this ‘tithe’? That’d be depressing. On the upside, the ensuing fight would be fun and guilt-free.

It was a cool, brisk night with the starlight sparkling off the fountain stone when the whole town gathered around it.

Only the stone. The water had been drained.

The traveler was really not looking forward to what that meant or why everyone was holding a small knife engraved with a wasp in their hands, looking eager.

Hey, so, what happens for the tithe? They said, trying to sound casual and like they didn’t have a loaded gun, smoke bombs, and explosives hidden in case they needed them.

You’ll see. It’s such a small thing, really, our way to give back to her.

Her. Doesn’t she have a name?

She’ll introduce herself when she comes. She’s very nice.

The traveler was placing their bets on just who and what she was when people started slitting their arms and bleeding into the fountain, blithely lining up and walking away when done, chattering about nothing in the meantime.

One by one by one.

Even as a parasitic blood drinker, the traveler was alarmed as the fountain filled with drops from obediently slit veins, bandaged up afterward by those who had already gone, or were waiting.

Why did they do this willingly? What could possibly make this worth it?

It had to be another vampire; they hissed in anger at the thought. Definitely worth fighting, at least. If they could kill them, even better - one less was better for everyone, and this one was clearly far worse than they were.

This tempting smell was almost overwhelming despite their own feeds -

Oh god. Had they weakened their victims too much to bear the cost of the tithe? Out to lunch as these people might be, the traveler didn’t want them dead. They’d probably been brainwashed their whole lives.

One fell over and was caught by their fellows. Another fell as well. A third.

The traveler felt a tug of guilt at their writhing insides, no matter how useless and contradictory that feeling was. There was no changing what they were, and they’d had no idea this was coming.

The blood in the fountain steadily rose, lapping and staining the fountain’s edges, and a hot wind cut through the cold air.

A low buzzing surrounded the gathering as the last local made their cut.

Everyone fell silent, and every person that could turned and bowed.

The traveler crossed their arms, annoyed.

A woman stepped up to the edge of the crowd, who parted for her like water, moving back from the stranger in their midst so that they stood alone. She wore an old scuffed hat in the style of a cowherd. Her long legs were half-covered by boots with silver spurs, a poncho over her shoulders and dust on her worn jeans.

Her eyes were covered by a faded tan bandanna, but she seemed to stare straight at them as she put her hands on her hips.

“I see you’ve been swipin’ at my supply, sugar cube. That’s just plum rude. How would you feel if I did that to you?”

They threw a smoke bomb at her and went for her throat. If they could just -

Wasps covered them mid-leap, stingers poised around every inch of their body, a great buzzing prison surrounding everything but their face.

The woman waved her hand, and more wasps came to fan the smoke away with their wings.

“I don’t need to see you, honey. I can feel you. I’ve felt you since you rolled in here, and I know something ain’t right. Something’s different about you, even for your kind.”

The traveler snarled, as they'd about had it with all this idiocy.

“Face me like an adult and stop hiding behind your pets.”

The smoke fully cleared, and the woman stood with hands on her hips, smiling.

She opened her mouth and white wasps poured out.

The traveler stared.

“No.” They whispered. “No. It can’t be.”

All throughout the shell of their body, their own white worms shuddered. They had always thought - always hoped - they were the only one of their particular type of blood drinker. The only thing of such wretchedness in the entire world.

Bugger to that, apparently.

They watched, immobilized, as the woman’s swarm flew to the blood-filled fountain, drinking much of it, but not all. After they went back into the woman, townspeople came and collected the rest, reverently placing it in refrigerated coolers.

The traveler looked at their fellow monster.

“Who are you?”

“Name’s Rhyssa. Now who are you?”

“Tuuya.”

“Well, Tuuya, how’re you gonna pay me back for that blood you nabbed? Don’t be a pill, we can still settle this proper like gentlefolk. Hell, I’ll even let you stay for the festival! It don’t gotta be like this.”

The vampire stared, still suspended by the buzzing swarm.

“How are you going to pay these people back for deceiving them into being your willing smoothies for their entire lives? I don’t owe you anything.”

Her face twisted into a scowl.

“Y’don’t get it. I take care of them. They’re my people, I protect them, Protect them from the likes of you.”

They rolled their eyes.

“Oh, how absolutely genial of you to - ”

All their limbs were ripped from their body at once and they screamed, worms flailing as they were exposed to the air without warning and stung by the pitiless insects. The squirming white invertebrates died by the dozens, helpless against the scourge.

Then it stopped.

Nearly blind from pain, they looked up blearily to see Rhyssa putting her hands over her mouth, rigid in what they could only assume was shock.

“I’m - I’m so sorry - no, no, how can this - no, you’ve gotta be a fake - ”

Tuuya wasn’t in a state to do much more than groan.

The wasp drinker pulled on her long hair in agitation, walking up to them and kneeling down on the grass.

She whispered a word, a name they barely heard as their worms struggled to repair themselves from the onslaught. Hlayos. Who or what was that? It probably didn’t matter. They were going to die here, to some obnoxious wasp woman who didn’t have the right.

Then...they felt themself healing. The wasps crawled over their body, somehow mending the worms they’d stung, helping them regrow or fuse back together.

They saw more wasps healing those townsfolk who’d fallen from blood loss and injured themselves, but that didn’t make sense. It couldn’t be. They had to be hallucinating from pain. Parasites couldn’t mend. Theirs couldn’t.

The townsfolk retreated, taking the coolers of blood with them. The yellow and black wasps departed as well, none left buzzing around the fountain.

Its water began to flow again, washing away the stains. In the deep quiet broken only by the trickle of liquid, it was as if nothing had happened at all.

The worm drinker couldn’t see the woman’s eyes behind the bandanna, but her shoulders shook as she held herself, rocking gently.

“It’s you. It’s really you...except...no. You died.”

Her words were empty nonsense. Tuuya waited until they healed further, their limbs re-attached as worms knitted together, and they pushed themself up.

They couldn’t fight her. They knew they had been spared for some reason beyond their comprehension, and didn’t feel like pushing it. Something about being ripped apart and stung repeatedly made a person a little tender.

Rhyssa’s head tilted, seeming to look up at the other vampire.

“Don’t go.”

A quiet, desperate plea. Tuuya turned, ignoring it, walking away quickly before breaking into a run.

“Don’t go!”

A desperate cry, followed by a word they fled from, a word that spurred their strides into leaps, scrambling away in such desperation they nearly fell on the rocky path leading out of town and back down, as far away as they could get.

A single, terrifying word that couldn’t be true, but settled in their head and wouldn’t leave. It sunk into their every thought, dragging them down, tearing apart the truth of their life.

A word that must have been what saved them, yet damned them in the same breath.

Sibling.

#cloud writes #etuuya vannyn #rhyssa #and so we kick off #the children of ozyrel

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