#i blame the coffee

[softiedingo]

men with dimples will always be my type 🗣

#jose pedro balmaceda pascal #pedro pascal fandom #pedro pascal #pedropascal #ppascaledit #pedropascaledit #a man with dimples is gonna always be my type of man #the eye crinkles are a bonus #i simp for this man #also #why do ppl keep trying to soften his face?? #why they do that #he is a grown man #expression lines are in the package #and i still don't understand the problem #everyone has it and I think it's ridiculous that people try to make it seem like he's the exception #and im sorry for the tags #i blame the coffee #softiedingo

[wrestlezaynia]

*Sends dick pic*

Oops, wrong number. 😳

#I don't know wtf is going on inside my head this evening #I blame the coffee

[kashlyn]

You ever wonder if ‘God’ (or gods) is just one author of a book with lots of prequels, sequels, fanfiction, etc. and if you were just part of like a side story where people decided “LOOK AT HOW MUCH TRAUMA I CAN FIT INTO THIS KID” like we would do... Are we gods in our own rights???

#late night thaughts #I cant say 3am cuz its still 9pm #random taughts #shower thoughts #does this count? #oh well #i blame the coffee #But i only had one in 5hrs so probs not #should i also tweet this? #neh too lazy

[tinny-vinny]

i am on the verge. of what? that is still uncertain.

#you ever just feel overstimulated and overwhelmed for no real reason #the world is large and i am so very small #the world is so very complex and we are all consequences of physics #i blame the coffee

[kumikoumae-archive]

Wish I had functional earbuds to block out the noise from outside my room because i have a major headache rn.

#i blame the coffee #i was falling asleep so i decided to drink a bit of coffee. so far i'm still sleepy but now with a headache and a bellyache. #gi talks #and i have so much to study

[orangemoustache]

geriatric coffee shop AU

i can’t explain this. if you get it you get it if you don’t you don’t. mostly i wanted to draw old man harry

#harry potter #harry potter fanart #art #voldemort #voldemort art #hp fanart #coffee shop au #tomarrymort #tomarry #harrymort #i was like....but what if they were BOTH geriatric... #i feel like i should blame doshu for this? but i can't remember the occasion

[giulzart]

Selfishly thinking that Orion could be persuaded to act in one of the band music video. Just once.

Anyway, go play @infamous-if cause it’s amazing!

Little bonus, I put the rambly scenario that sprouted these under the cut in case you wanna know more 🤷‍♀️

It’s got to be a team effort and a chore to get Orion on board but somehow they manage to convince him in the end(cause he got a soft spot). In my head the idea was Violet and Rowan’s, Iris jumped right in cause it sounded fun and then Jazzy and Devyn joined in. Chris tagged along too cause heck yeah. They all come up with a list of pros and cons cause they know that Orion will fight against it, but thanks to Devyn they come up with sound and logical enough reasons. Rowan and Violet do the presentation and after a lot of debate, Orion accept in the end to everyone (and his own) disbelief. The video is a success, the views count gets higher and half the comment are about Orion.The band tease him relentlessly and Orion swears never again. The end.

#infamous if #infamous #infamous violet #infamous oc #violet rose #i blame the very cool photoshoot I found on Pinterest that inspired me to do these #they are on a bridge or a rooftop you decide cause I couldn’t #listen I love all the seven drama but Orion is the reason why I started to play the game #read his description and I was like yep thanks I’m sold I’ll have him #also I know Orion would never but a girl can dream #plus the views would skyrocket so it’s good business #just unprofessional but yk #also the song is leave before you love me but zayn Malik cover cause I like the vibe better #I was debating with so many songs for these #in the end it was either belladonna by Ava max she or borderz by zayn #then I found this cover and I was like this fits violet and Orion better in my head so here we are #I’m a pop junky what can I saw #I’m sorry i only have infamous in my head rn #on a side note for the little scenario imagine Orion’s colleague from Carolina records seeing the video and sputtering coffee all over #cause yes he looks like a model from a perfume ad #okay I’m done rambling go play the game #my art #illustration

[powdermelonkeg]

Counting down the minutes left on the Elon Musk "do you like me yes/no" poll like the count down to new year's

#used my twitter that i have only ever used twice to vote on it #not because i think he'll keep his word but because i think it'll be funny to see he's got *checks notes* #over 2 million more hating him than loving him #so if it DOES turn out to be a honeypot there is legitimately nothing else i've posted that he can blame it on #so i'm going to laugh if/when it happens #twitter #elon musk #real coffee hours

[clockwayswrites]

Tim Jr., Coffee Machine Extraordinaire

The Start (Edit: this not a prompt! I am writing this one shot! I'm just sharing the start here.)

Dick worried his lip between his teeth as he looked Tim over. His little brother was standing, zombie-like, in front of the Cave’s coffee machine.

Not that was unusual.

The thing was, Tim had been doing better. His dark circles had been fading, his snippy moments less often, his focus better, and he’d even been putting on some much needed weight. Dick had been so proud (as had Alfred and Bruce). But now the circles were darkening again and Tim was staring at the coffee machine like he used to— like it was his only salvation.

Jason stepped up to Dick’s side, joining him in the bird watching.

“Hey Timbit,” Jason said, breaking the silence of the moment. Trust Jason to get down to it.

“Hum?”

“What happened to your hand?”

Tim blinked down at his gauze wrapped hand as if he had forgotten about the injury. Not a good sign with Tim. Dick was betting on over 48 hours without proper sleep at this point.

“Oh.” Tim said, the exclamation was emotionless. “Tim Jr. Bit me.”

Dick and Jason exchanged looks. Who now?

“Um, did you get a pet, baby bird?” Dick gently asked.

“Hum?”

Jason rolled his eyes. “Who’s Tim Jr., Timberino.”

“Oh.” Tim said. The brothers waited impatiently for Tim’s brain to roll over. “My coffee maker. Little brat refused to make me any…”

“Okay, yep, alright. No patrol for you tonight Timtam.” Jason said with a clap of his hands.

#dp x dc #just not really seeing the dp yet #brain dead #brain dead ship #dead tired #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #i blame discord for this 100% #the closest to crack I'll ever write #this will prob go straight to ao3 after this #not a prompt #phandom i love you but not everything is a prompt just because we share it publicly #i clearly tag anything that is a prompt #tim jr coffee machine

[emgoesmed]

3/6/2024

30nym challenge day 23: How do you keep your digital workspace organized?

On my phone, I use the different "focuses": Personal, Work, Fitness, Sleep which have different relevant apps on the home screen. On my computer, I just use the regular system of saving things in folders.

#emgoesmed #studyblr #studyspo #med student #med school #med studyblr #productivity #30nym #coffee #days of productivity #workspace #my desk #I hate zoom class #thank god it’s only for a week #idk how I did it for over a year M1/M2 #doesn't help that i got stressed about a group project and did the whole thing #my partner was suffering from a bad case of senioritis #and i don't blame him #but oof

[books-and-dragons]

I'm so sorry, I'm kinda drunk and dropping another idea, do with it whatever ye will.

Yknow how in the beginning of the game, Sojiro tells Ren he won't take care of him when he gets sick?

Consider: he's not used to city germs/being that closely shoved against other people on the train. He DOES start to get sick around Kamoshida's Palace, powers through it, and then is SUPER sick just after it's over.

He plans on sucking it up and hiding it, but Futaba hears his hacking coughs over her bug even when he's upstairs, followed by wheezing, maybe even a little weeping. He's constantly in and out of the bathroom, and he's starting to run out of tissues.

Futaba nervously texts Sojiro that the kid they took in sounds awful. Sojiro is gruff at first and says he's not a baby, he can take care of himself. She responds by sending him the audio and suddenly Dad Instincts kick in

y/n

obviously it's a YES, our brainrots continue because early-game ren and sojiro dynamics break my heart every time how dare you get me so invested in this idea, this post got too long so it's going under a read more

listen listen look i love sojiro and the coffee family okay, but early-game?? sojiro could catch these hands

ren has already been though so much by the time he arrives in tokyo, to then be put into a dusty old attic like a spare part would absolutely fit in with ren's own perception of himself at that stage. it would be almost too easy for him to put his own health on the backburner kinda like he's already used to it

very used to not taking up space, 'not being a bother', and then sojiro really reinforces this message when ren first gets to leblanc- so when ren inevitably gets ill a month into his probation, it's already doomed for maladaption

tokyo would be such a breeding ground for sickness compared to the countryside, and ren just doesn't have the consitution to deal with it. the dusty attic and poor eating habits don't help matters, and then we have the stress of kamoshida and the metaverse?? ren is not having a Good Time™

at first it's something he thinks he can shrug off, and is adamant that ignoring it is the way to go. a cold, it's nothing, he can handle this alone, no need to bother anyone else with it.

inevitably, he gets worse, because that's what happens when you don't rest and let yourself recover. a tickly cough becomes a tightness in his chest, mild congestion shifts into an attack on his senses and blurriness- but maybe that's the dizziness. he's not really sleeping, either.

it's something that's becoming increasingly difficult to brush off and hide, he even relented to finally getting some medicine (nothing as strong as he needs by this point, that would eat too much into his limited funds, but some painkillers to take the edge off). once or twice he's tempted to stay off school, at morgana's insistence, or a too close call where he definitely blacked out for a minute, but then sojiro's voice will ring in his head 'i won't be the one looking after you if you get sick', 'your parents got rid of you for being a pain in the ass', and all his worst insecurities come rushing back and he's resolved to deal with it on his own

meanwhile, futaba's been making use of her hidden audio bugs- normally they're a comfort for her in the daytime, but since the new kid- ren- has been staying at the cafe (part-timer her ass, how gullible does sojiro think she is?!), she's been listening more frequently. when ren gets sick, she figures it out quickly.

time goes on, he's not getting better- he's actually getting worse- and futaba starts to wonder if she's the only one who knows

(there's something in his sharp contrasts- the quiet kid who shuffles through the cafe and takes sojiro's scolding, to the coughing kid who cries into the silence of night when he thinks there's nobody there to see it- that stabs through her numbness. it feels like a companion to her own ghost)

one night she swears the kid gets up to be sick, and there's hardly any sound heard from the attic all night. if nobody's gonna help ren, then she will (futaba used to like helping, once upon a time).

she texts sojiro the next day, when ren doesn't say anything again, and goes off to school with what she bets is a fake assurance on his face

and you're so right, sojiro dismisses her concern really easily, claims the kid can 'take care of himself' and he won't 'baby' the part-timer. insists ren needs to learn some disipline, then maybe he'll stay out of trouble

frustration wells in futaba- if she was less fixated on what was going on with ren, she'd register it's one of the first changes of mood she's had for months- and she responds with nothing but an audio clip, an attached explanation that this is just from the past few days- it's been going on for weeks, then she waits, and hears the distant sound of her compilation through one of the bugs, a hitched breath from sojiro, curse words under his breath-

for all his earlier postulating about not helping ren if he gets sick, sojiro is immeditely struck with a pang of concern- it sounded bad, and if futaba's words were anything to go by, this had been going on for a while. the kid's at school now (at school, being as ill as that and he was still going to class-), so sojiro will talk to him when he gets back. there's a chance he goes a bit too over the top, between the variation of medicines he purchases, supplies he grabbed from home- if you accused him for over-compensating after maybe being too harsh on the kid in the beginning, you'd be right

and you just know ren would be so resistent at first to help, or even just the offer of staying off school. in his sickness-induced fugue, ren's filter-less in rattling off how he can't stay off, what will the students and teachers think, and he has work that afternoon, and a test soon, and he doesn't want to get in the way-

sojiro's heart just shatters

this kid, whose been silently carring the weight of the world and has apparently been falling to pieces for weeks now and sojiro didn't even notice?

(a part of it reminds him too much of the other kid he's got at home, the countless ways he's already failed futaba, and now ren too? he feels useless)

sojiro focuses on what he can do, and that's making the kid rest. work will understand, school can wait, ren isn't an inconvenience, he guides the kid to bed, calls takemi immediately (who rushes over, despite the fact she's technically closed at this hour, and refuses to take any payment),

even still, there's this stilted awkwardness between them when the quiet pushes on too long- they hardly know each other, afterall. sojiro is still figuring out the 'caring for kids' thing, and ren isn't familiar with any kind of parental affection, so some of sojiro's care veers a bit too close to clinical or mechanic, and ren still struggles to communicate what kind of help he needs, but it's enough for now.

for now, sojiro is there. he's trying, and at least ren's getting some colour back on his skin. for now, ren's willing to take a few days off and have some medicine, but he's over-apologetic and definitely tries to make up for his sickness once he's healed. it's gonna take them both a while yet, but luckily there's always their guardian hacker, ready and able to call them out when needed (and maybe some day she'll be able to keep an eye on ren and sojiro in person)

#ask #also the idea of it being futaba who first realises going on?? developing hers and ren's bond before they even meet?? #june i love your brain have i ever mentioned #such a gem even when it h u r t s (which is obviously only ever ALWAYS <3) #us : *sees angsty p5 game content* it's free real estate! #i want ren to have a HUG and REASSURANCE and also a bowl of soup #instead he gets dusty attic and milk-crate bed and instant noodles he packed for emergencies :c #persona 5 #p5 #persona 5 headcanons #ren amamiya #futaba sakura #sojiro sakura #oh also also!! imagine how sojiro might feel about his early-game behaviour by late-game/post-canon?? #ohhh i bet he'd hate it and there'd be so much self-blame/loathing there #parent guilt and all that good stuff y'know #futaba? seeing herself in early-game ren? ren? seeing himself in palace-futaba? sorry they make me soft and emotional your honour #i love my coffee family but i love it more flavoured with all the issues they haven't yet worked through #once again THIS WASNT MEANT TO BE SO LONG

[camels-pen]

Usopp took a sip of his coffee and sat back with a satisfied sigh, the steaming liquid warming his insides pleasantly. It was half steaming milk, four teaspoons of sugar, and a good helping of cream; perfect, no matter what Zoro said.

A lingering kiss to his cheek reminded him of the last ingredient and he sighed again, a different warmth filling him.

Love.

"Right in front of my breakfast?" Zoro said with a grimace.

"Shut the fuck up, mosshead."

The galley was suddenly silent.

The words registered in his brain.

Usopp stared at the wall across from him, frozen. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sanji tremble, a quivering smile on his face.

"Oh my god," Usopp moaned, putting his head in his hands as the galley erupted into raucous laughter.

"It was just like- just like-" Brook cut himself off with more laughs. Next to him, Chopper was grabbing his stomach and tipping close to the edge of his chair.

"Super cute bro," Franky said, grinning stupidly. Nami had her hands covering her mouth, her shoulders shaking.

"I suppose it's true what they say about couples taking after each other," Robin said with a little chuckle. Luffy was losing his mind next to her, easily louder than everyone else.

Usopp put his head in his hands, whining, "Robin."

Sanji hugged him from the side, face pressed to Usopp's shoulder to muffle his own laughter. "It really was" -Sanji snorted- "cute. Really."

"I'm breaking up with you."

"Wait- no, come on, Darling-"

#one piece #sanuso #usopp #nemo the writing ho #god im really thinking of them all the time now #i literally grabbed a cup of coffee for myself and was immediately hit with this #not pictured is Zoro getting irritated bc he took what Robin said literally and thinks Usopp is slowly just going to Become Sanji #it's morning and he hasn't finished his 'black as my soul' coffee yet so can you really blame him for that #where's that one post that's like 'im not homophobic im just a hater' thats zoro

[hedonists]

Demonizing fic writers and creatives for creating fake scenarios for fun while normalizing the act of sticking your nose into the band's private lives like it's completely normal is a choice.

#nemesestext #fandom bs #eat my non existent dick #this fandom is either bothering artists #blaming the band for insane shit #or doing weird stalkerish things #like I’m pretty sure #us creatives are fairly normal in comparison wouldn’t you agree #where's my coffee #I woke up with a headache today #stop pissing in my coffee

[incrediblyaccuratethoughts]

I’m Gonna Tell ‘Em (Don’t you Dare)

Ao3

Tim just wanted coffee. That’s really all he desired in life. Coffee. His position as Red Robin. And Wayne Industries to get its shit together for one goddamn day. In that order.

“Are you shitting me? I was a fucking crime lord you little terror, I don’t give a fuck-”

He’d done an all-nighter in the Batcave. Again. Trying to crack a cold case he was sure had something to do with Riddler's vague warning a few nights ago. And he was so close, but his eyes had started to close for just a little too long.

So tell him why he walked into an argument that seemed to be based around the topic of murder, at 7 in the morning. Between Jason and Damian. Who both tried to kill him at least once. Respectively.

“And I am the Demon Prodigy of the League of Assassins. I could kill a man before I could speak.”

Tim stands in the doorway, contemplating if his need for coffee is higher than his potential rate of getting maimed in the dining room.

“Yeah, but you were fucking sheltered inside the bases like goddamn Rapunzel in her-”

“I was not sheltered. You of all people should know of Mother’s harshness for disobedience-“

“Oh and I’m sure you were so disobedient Mr. Goody Two Shoes-“

Ultimately, the urge for coffee wins. Tim crosses the kitchen as unnoticeably as he can, skirting the edges and keeping his footsteps as light as he can manage on 10 hours of sleep in the last week.

He’s busy, okay?

“I’ll admit I wasn’t raised to go against the orders of a higher-up but that did not mean-”

“Bull. Fucking. Shit.”

“Did my propensity for sneaking animals into the house escaped your notice? I thought you were better trained-“

“So what? You save every bird with a broken wing you come across, but you’d willingly slit the throat of a human?”

“Yes, Todd. That’s exactly what I’m saying.”

The coffee pot is half full. Tim counts this as the one redeeming factor of this morning. The threat of getting stabbed is nothing in the face of sweet, sweet caffeine.

“What’s your fucking number then?”

“I can’t possibly know the exact-“

“Oh no, you don’t get to pull that shit on me-“

Tim considers pouring himself a cup, but he’s gonna drink the whole thing anyway and he’s exhausted enough to zone out during Alfred’s inevitable lecture, so he takes the whole pot and tips it back.

“I was sent out for missions when I was barely more than a toddler. You can’t expect me to remember every-“

“Ra’s had files on every fucking mission I did while brain dead and high on Lazarus rage, there’s no fucking way he didn’t have an exact-“

Tim chugs his precious coffee. The temperature is surprisingly cool enough that he doesn't immediately burn his tongue. Not that a few scorched taste buds would stop Tim from inhaling the only thing between him and unconscious. But it’s the thought that counts.

“What’s yours then, Todd?”

“Nope. Not until you tell me yours first. I’m not about to have you raise the number because I told you mine.”

“That’s preposterous. I would do no such thing.”

Tim calculates his chances of making it back out of the kitchen with a quarter pot of coffee in his hands and decides his caffeine fix is safer off with a few counters between him and his homicidal brothers.

And yah know. His physical well-being. But that’s pretty low on his ‘fucks to give list’ at the moment.

“I don’t trust a fucking word coming out of your mouth-“

“There’s an easy way to settle this if you’d just-“

“What? Shut up? Drop the argument? No fucking-“

“We can write it down separately and then show it to each other at the same time."

“…huh.”

Tim looks up in genuine fear when both of his siblings go quiet. That’s never a good sign. Not in this house.

There’s a window to his right that he could probably smash through if it came to it.

Neither of them are looking at him though, just regarding each other with much less animosity than a few seconds ago. Tim decides he’s probably fine and goes back to his coffee.

“I will go retrieve a piece of paper and two pens.”

Damian leaves the room and Tim freezes like if he stays still enough it’ll keep Jason from noticing him. Unfortunately, now that his older brother’s attention is directed to his surroundings and not just screaming at a 12-year-old, he makes direct eye contact with Tim.

“Oh hey, Timmers. How long have you been here?”

Tim stares at him blankly. He- doesn’t know what answer Jason wants from him and he’s not willing to face his older brother’s wrath if he’d been having what he thought was a private conversation.

“Sorry about the noise. I hope we didn’t wake you up.” Jason says after it’s clear that he isn't getting answers out of Tim.

As if the manor isn’t literally soundproofed. For this exact reason.

Tim’s 17 years of social etiquette training won’t let him just not answer the open-ended comment, but god does he wish that it did.

“No, I was already up.”

Jason nods as if he was expecting that answer. Which is fair. Tim’s sure he looks just as tired as he feels. His eye bags could hold all of his emotional trauma. They’re Guchi.

“And does Alfred know you’re drinking straight from the pot?” Jason motions to the carafe Tim’s clutching like a lifeline. Because it is.

Tim opens his mouth to lie through his teeth, but is saved by Damian’s re-entry. Wow, he’s never been so glad to see his stab-happy younger brother.

True to his word, the kid’s carrying a few pieces of paper and pens. Tim could leave now. He could casually walk right past them, out of the kitchen, and back to the cave to keep working on his case, but dammit, he’s invested now.

He’s still not sure what this argument is about exactly, but he’s willing to wait a few more minutes to satiate his curiosity now that he’s tentatively sure that the argument isn’t going to evolve into physical violence.

“I’ve acquired the tools to finish this once and for all, Todd.” Damian announces, sliding half of his spoils to Jason.

“Great. We’ll write our body count down and on 3 we’ll turn ‘em around. Got it?”

“Don’t tell me what to do” Damian grumbles, but writes dutifully anyway. The kid would be funny if he didn’t back his threats up with swords.

Tim is. Still lost, but he’s always secretly wondered how many people his brothers have killed. In a morbid way. Mostly because he wants to know if the murder attempts on him were a particularly special event or just a pattern. For his mental health's sake.

“Got it?” Jason asks, holding his paper close to his chest so no one can peek. Tim doesn’t know who would, considering he’s the only one in the kitchen that’s not a part of this squabble, but Damian copies the movement and Tim finds himself inching closer, taking the last swig of his coffee.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three!”

They flip the papers around and for a moment the kitchen is quiet.

“FUCK YEAH!” Jason pumps his fist in the air with a whoop. “Ha! Take that, Demon Brat! I’m the Robin with the highest kill count!”

Tim spits out his coffee and coughs violently. It’s partially because he got some in his lungs, but also to cover the incredulous laughter bursting uncontrollably out of him. It takes him a good few seconds to get his breathing under control, but when he looks up, his brothers are staring at him.

For a moment he’s tempted. So fucking tempted. Because he hasn’t told anyone anything more than bits and pieces about his time with the League. Hell, the only reason his family even knows about his little stint playing lap dog for Ra’s, is because he choked out a vague explanation about his missing spleen when he went into sepsis.

They don’t know about the missions he was sent on. The people he sold out. And most importantly, the multiple bases he blew up because he was crazier than the Joker after Bart and Kon’s death and then the near miss with Bruce.

The bases he absolutely didn’t evacuate. With hundreds of people inside. A few actually avalanched down mountainsides, and he’d eat his Batarang if any of them survived.

The only word he’d confidently use to describe his mental state then, is feral.

He didn’t have to blow them up. He really didn’t. A good few of the bases he’d never actually seen before he snuck in to level the place, but he’d been having a shitty year so naturally, he was going to make sure Ra’s got to have one too.

Not to mention that Tim was as depressed as he’d ever been and wasn’t particularly giving a lot of fucks about if he died during his warpath. He’d already lost a spleen, what were a few more organs?

So this argument? This competition? He finds it objectively fucking hilarious.

Damian and Jason are still staring at him in bewilderment, and for a moment -just a wild moment- he thinks about telling them.

Explaining how he was just. So done. And could only think of one way out, so he systematically hacked into every base he could get his hands on. Stole as many files as he could during his time constraint. And then blew all of them sky-high.

Thought about telling them how on one particularly bad night, gone through every log of the people in those bases. How he hadn’t been ‘sick’ as he claimed the week after he managed to crawl out of his safe house.

He was just too horrified to look anyone in the eye.

It would be funny to watch his family’s expressions go through the five stages of grief and add a few more just for funsies, if they even believed him at all. But no. Tim had his secrets and he was going to take them to the grave.

He grinned at his brothers, patted Jason on the shoulder with a quiet congratulations, and strolled out of the kitchen.

Tim had cases to solve and letting his family assume he wasn’t capable of murder was better for all of them in the long run.

No matter how wrong they were.

👻

In my defense. Writing prompts make the brain noodle go brr. You can blame @coffinbirds and @batcavescolony for these posts.

#you thought i was gonna have him spill the beans? #absolutely not #get wrecked #tim drake is a menace #also a coffee addict #it's truly a problem #get this man some therapy #jason todd is far too proud of murder #can't blame him thou #sometimes i also just wanna glock a bitch #damian wayne has no chill #he's twelve with swords #and not afraid to use them #we should all fear him at all costs #bat family #batfics #tim drake fanfiction #tim drake fluff #batkids #jason todd fanfiction #jason todd #jason todd fic #jason todd fluff #tim drake #damian wayne #damian wayne fanfiction #damian wayne fluff #batman fanfiction #batfamily #batfamily fanfic

[undeaddove9]

NSFW related// contains genderbend AU with wlw charmoree and ♂ Manon (their names stay the same), cunnilingus, squirting, cheating (Rody and Manon have not broken up yet)

I'm writing this just because I needed to write some culinary yuri... and because I love listening to this song it reminds me so much of them :3

"Me and your girlfriend playin' dress up in my house, I gave your girlfriend cunnilingus on my couch"

Her crush couldn't stop yapping about how sweet and caring her boyfriend is.

Ughhh, why was this stupid redheaded puppy talking about some guy that she's clearly not interested in listening to? ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Was there ever a way to shut her up?

Suddenly, a very great idea pops into Vincent's head.

YURIKA!!! ☝️💡

And with that, she's decided to make Rody forget all about her precious boyfriend, Manon. How exactly, you may ask? Well...

"Ngh! Hah—AH! VINCE!!" , Rody lets out a loud moan as her boss was hungrily lapping up at her sensitive folds and clit.

The woman was shakily sitting, now almost slouching, on Vincent's couch in her apartment, with thighs spread wide open, making access for the chef to devour the swollen cunt in between her legs. Her fists were clenching for dear life on the couch cushions near her.

She never expected this, in all honesty. She had an assumption that her boss was just being nice and sweet when welcoming her into her house. She never expected to end up in a heated situation with the younger woman.

Her face looked so fucked out right now. She's sweating like crazy, with her eyes rolling back into her head and her tongue lolling out. Maybe she should just let Vince do her thing. No, she wasn't supposed to enjoy this!

But...

"Hah- holy shit... Vince, please. You can't... I— AH! I'm in love with Manon- nghHH!... I'm not supposed to do this with you haaahh..." , she continued with her stammering words, hoping that her boss would at least consider putting a stop to whatever she was currently doing to her.

Unfortunately for Rody, her words were completely futile. Instead, she received a harsh nibble and tug on her twitching clit, making her scream in sudden pleasure.

Oh god, she was seeing stars at this point.

Vince looked up sadistically at the heavily panting woman and led out a chuckle in response. "Oh, mon cœur ♡ You don't have to lie to yourself. Your voice may be rejecting me but your enticing body is telling me otherwise. You don't seem like you ever want me to stop, so..... ♡"

That was all she said before continuing to thrust her skillful tongue back into Rody's soaking wet pussy. Only this time, she's doing it roughly, occasionally sucking on her pretty clitoral nub and creating even more stimulation towards her trembling employee.

The auburn haired woman had no choice but to submit to the ongoing pleasure that her body was receiving.

It was driving her crazy. She can feel the pooling heat in her stomach. Her nails were digging deeper into the couch cushions, almost tearing the fabric. The ravenette gave her clit one last suck and... Oh fuck. She's about to...

"VINCE! I'M GONNA CU—haAAAAAAAA!!!", the waitress' words were cut off as she finally came and squirted her juices into Vince's awaiting mouth. The chef lapped up every single drop of her beloved waitress' fluid she could get.

Rody then plastered a satisfied grin on her face with her eyes still rolled back into her head from the aftermath and her thoughts were very much clouded from the intense orgasm she had.

She couldn't even think straight anymore.

Vince, on the other hand, can't help but smile at the older woman in front of her, carefully getting herself up from her previous position.

"So... How was it? Did I treat you better than that Manon of yours, mon cœur?"

"Huh?? Eh? Wh... Who...??"

"That's what I thought ♡"

#dead plate #rody lamoree #vincent charbonneau #vincerody #charmoree #yuri #genderswap #i wrote this at 2:30am with the lights out im so tired #but it's all worth it because it's charmoree yuri :3 #i can't stop with the stupid jokes i added im sorry #i apologise for any spelling mistakes #im gonna go to sleep now #probably #this is what coffee does to a mf #im constantly using the pet name mon cœur every now and then help #im blaming vind for this #smut fic

[doxieandthedead]

Thinking of writing short stories from Gortash's perspective of my Durge before they were attacked by Orin. Right now I've got a very jealous Enver Gortash seething over Tamasvi secretly meeting up with with a mysterious Fae and not knowing why bouncing around my head, and his perspective on his first experience of watching her performance in a red room.

Maybe some snippets of relationships with the rest of the party during the game too since they don't feature too heavily in 10k Deaths for Bhaal? I've got so many ideas and no time to write them all at the moment.

I'm enjoying writing long form post-canon but it feels SO slow compared to what's going on in my head, its been like 7 chapters and I feel like nothing but set up is happening still.

#bg3 #bg3 dark urge #durgetash #the dark urge #enver gortash #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 durge #bg3 gortash #dark urge #I am 100% to blame for how slow the fic is going but I won't go any faster #The joys of being an adult means I can do what I want #The pain of being an adult is having to work a full time job to pay bills #Just need a week of goblin writing mode where I do nothing but write #drink coffee and plot