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atomicpoetrymusic-blog · 2 years

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Ok, I have been really getting into the School for Good and Evil (SGE) recently, and I have to share my thoughts on why I think it is a bad adaptation.

I had never even heard of SGE before a few weeks ago, after seeing the trailer for the film. I thought it looked interesting, and I like several of the actors involved with the project, so I thought I'd give it a watch. I quite enjoyed it, even if I thought it was a bit clunky in places.

I then went on to listen to the audiobooks for the first 3 books. Needless to say I was quite surprised by how many differences there were between the film and the books.

While I don't mind so much about the aesthetic changes - such as Agatha not being so 'ugly' (I'll come back to this point later), Tedros's hair, or Anadil not being albino - I feel like this is indicative of something that I feel modern moviemakers have an issue with handling when it comes to adaptations, especially from books: in books, EVERYTHING is based in description, and description matters.

While Tedros's hair is something I can and will look over (I thoroughly enjoyed the actor's performance, and hair is the least of my concerns right now), Agatha and Anadil's appearances are slightly more concerning to me.

I know it can't be easy to find an actor who is simultaneously good for the role acting-wise, and pale enough to at least pass as albino with hair and makeup (preferably actually albino, but needs must), but in terms of this particular character, I was actually quite confused between the film and book versions. Having seen the film first, Anadil's description in the book is basically the complete opposite to the actor, both looks and character-wise (nothing against the actor, I think she did brilliantly with what she was given), and was quite jarring to me - I can't imagine what it must have been like for long-term book fans who had an image of her built up over years.

However, Agatha is a whole other problem. Anyone who follows me should already know that I love Sofia Wylie, and I think she is a wonderful actor, but I just think she is too conventionally attractive to be Agatha. Don't get me wrong, Agatha is beautiful, as is Sofia, but half the point of Agatha in the books is that she sees herself as ugly, and has incredibly low self esteem, to the point where she tries to get Tedros to fall in love with Sophie MULTIPLE times throughout the 3 books I've read, simply because she is insecure in how she is perceived by others, and because she thinks Sophie is pretty, and that being pretty matters. She learns over the course of the story that being conventionally attractive doesn't matter, so much as who you are as a person. One of my favourite books of all time, Roald Dahl's 'The Twits', sums this idea up beautifully:

"If a person has ugly thoughts, it begins to show on the face. And when that person has ugly thoughts every day, every week, every year, the face gets uglier and uglier until it gets so ugly you can hardly bear to look at it. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely."

As someone who is not conventionally attractive, and also have low self esteem, I feel kind of hollow watching the film now I've read (listened to) the books. Especially because the film cut the scene where Agatha is granted a wish by Professor Dovey to look beautiful, and was treated differently on her way to find a mirror, only to discover Dovey didn't change her appearance at all, it was all down to how she felt within herself. Losing that element of self-perceived ugliness, only to be proven wrong not by how she looks but how she felt, hurts me in a way I can't describe. And I'm in my twenties, I hate to think what that sort of thing would do to a teenager, with my same issues with self-image.

Another issue I have with film!Agatha is her costuming - in the book, she goes out of her way to dress poorly, despite being forced to wear a pink dress. In the film, Agatha has flowers in her hair, nicely done makeup, fancy jewellery, and all her dresses suit her. It makes her entrance to the Evers ball less impressive (whereas the equivalent scene in the book makes a whole deal out of her choosing to dress nicely - Tedros doesn't even recognise her at first). In fact, I think it would have worked even better in the film if they chose to have Agatha dress poorly, as it would make it more obvious to the audience why such an obviously pretty girl would be treated so badly by her better-dressed classmates. In the book, Agatha is also not conventionally attractive, but Sofia Wylie is. The filmmakers should have acknowledged the difference between the two, and used Sofia's beauty to their advantage.

Another reason I think the film is not a great adaptation is because of Sophie. Sophia Anne Caruso does a fantastic job in the role, but that's not the issue - Sophie is just too sympathetic.

In the books, she is vain, shallow, and selfish, constantly putting down others (Agatha especially), will do anything to get what she wants, and thinks that to be Good, all she has to do is be pretty. In the film, she is genuine friends with Agatha from the start (rather than befriending her as a 'good deed'), has a mean-spirited step-mother (who in the books is actually quite nice, Sophie just hates her), and is pushed into doing evil things by others such as Lesso and Rafal, rather than being and becoming evil by herself. It takes away her agency as a character, to do and say and think for herself.

The worst part about this, for me, however, is that I could feel that Sophie was too sympathetic in the film even before I read the books. Her actions were less character-driven, and more plot-driven, and it showed. Her montage of dressing in flashy, stylish clothing while also acting rude and seductive felt really out of place for the Sophie the film had been writing for up to that point. Then I read the books, and it made so much more sense - not only that, but Sophie was actually still putting up a 'sweeter that sugar' façade at that point in the book, trying to get Tedros to fall in love with her.

It's what made her redemption in 'The Last Ever After' that much better - because it came from within her. She was a flawed, wonderfully written character, who at the end of the day just wanted to be loved, but made all the wrong decisions in order to get to that love. But that's why she could never find it - because she was acting selfishly. Agatha found her True Love in Tedros, not because she wanted to (actually they both hated each other initially), but because they wanted to become better people for each other, and were both selfless in their wants - Tedros wants to be a good king FOR his people, and Agatha wants to be a good queen FOR Tedros, so that he can be a good king FOR his people.

With Sophie losing the nastier, EVILLER character traits she had in the books, it cheapens the win that Good has over Evil.

And that's another issue I had - the film suffers from the Percy Jackson effect. They tried to have their cake and eat it too. Introducing Rafal AS Rafal and not just the School Master, as well as combining Lady Lesso with Evelyn Sader, has made making sequels to the film much harder for them, just like the Percy Jackson films did with Kronos.

Not only that, but like the Percy Jackson films, the SGE film tries to establish the characters as Good and Evil. On a surface level, that must seem obvious - The School for Good and Evil is literally the name of the series. But that's what the filmmakers failed to understand about the books: there was still nuance. In the first Percy Jackson film, Hades was portrayed as if he were the devil just because he was God of the Dead, when in the books he was actually just as in the wrong as Zeus or Poseidon, and although he made some mistakes, he ultimately was a flawed person, who just wanted his stuff back. Rafal has kind of had the same treatment - yes, he was basically Evil Incarnate in the books, but he was still a person, who regretted killing his brother in his bid for power, and truly believed he loved Sophie.

Another issue I had was with how the film treated the Good students, the princesses in particular. In the books, Beatrix, Millicent and their friends, while not very nice to Agatha, were still good people. They wished for Princes in the wish fish scene not because they were selfish and obnoxious (like in the film), but because they didn't want to fail their classes. They had their own wants and needs, and their own strengths and weaknesses. In the film, Beatrix in particular (while phenomenally cast) came off as that typical Regina George type character, with (again) very little nuance. I actually quite liked Beatrix in the book - she was bubbly, helpful when she wanted to be, and was happy for Agatha when she 'became' beautiful. The film strips her of all that, making her snide and arrogant - something I wish the film gave to Sophie.

Just so that I don't end on a mean note, here are some things I really liked about the film that I haven't already mentioned:

Hort and Hester - both were born for the roles they played, and were styled to perfection

the CGI, which was beautiful

Charlize Theron as Lady Lesso, truly stunning

Kit Young as Rhian and Rafal, especially the fight scene

the acting - while I have issues with the characterisation and some appearances, every single actor knocked it out the park, I honestly can't think of a weak link

the chemistry between Tedros and Agatha was on point, and I loved the scene where Agatha tripped and Tedros caught her

Tedros's fight scenes, which were well choreographed

the hair and makeup, especially for Beatrix and Lesso, their hair must have taken HOURS to get that good

Kiko wanting to be a cat so she can sleep under a warm stove, which was painfully in character

the princess dresses were very pretty, I wish I could wear one

In conclusion, I think SGE would work better as a tv series, with more time to flesh out the nuances of the themes and characters.

#sge #school for good and evil #school for good and evil spoilers #sge spoilers #i made this on a whim #and it turned into an essay #i keep doing this #its really a problem

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bridgertonbabe · 1 year

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Do Benedict and Eloise ever find out about Sophie & Phillip’s wedding pact? At Collin’s 40th birthday party, does Michael turn up in a tuxedo with an officiant in tow, which Penelope and Fran find hilarious?

At Sophie and Phillip's 30th they joke how if they hadn't gotten together with their respective partners that they would have had to go through with their pact - a pact which both Benedict and Eloise are only hearing about for the first time. They're surprised that their partners ever felt the need to have a hypothetical pact in place, thinking it ridiculous that Sophie and Phillip thought it likely that they'd probably be alone without somebody to love by the time they turned thirty. Sophie tells Ben that the pact had been loosely agreed on because of her fourteen year old self being jealous of his then relationship with his ex and she wanted some sort of back-up should she have to sit back and watch him live a wondrously happy life with Tessa. Benedict finds Sophie's jealousy from sixteen years ago hilariously adorable but assures her that he wouldn't have been able to have a wondrously happy life married to anyone else but her. Meanwhile when Eloise asks Phillip why he thought he'd be single at thirty her husband points out that he's never been the most outgoing of people, especially in stark contrast to Colin and Michael, and that he never thought he'd have the guts to pursue someone he actually liked. And on top of that he assumed anyone who might be interested in him would find him boring due to his infinite love of herbology, which is why the thought of having Sophie as a safety net for a marriage based purely in companionship appealed to him. Thankfully he tells his wife that he counts his lucky stars everyday that fate had provided him with marriage to the most perfect woman who he couldn't imagine life without.

And as for Colin and Michael, of course Michael wouldn't be able to resist pulling such a joke on his best friend. When Colin and Penelope and their family arrived at Aubrey Hollow for his birthday celebrations they were met by the entire family dressed in formal attire and then Michael stepped forward decked in the same suit he wore at his own wedding.

"Ah, my beloved, here you are at last!" Michael greeted and kissed Colin on the cheek.

"What the fu-?"

"Come along now. We can't leave the officiant waiting all day." Michael insisted, tugging Colin to link his arm with his.

"What are you talking about?!"

"Remember? The pact? When I agreed to take you on if you were still single by your fortieth?"

"Are you serious?" Colin squawked. "But I'm not single! I'm very happily married!"

"Ooph. I'm sorry, is this the way you're finding out Pen filed for divorce?" Michael grimaced at him but sent a cheeky wink over his shoulder where Penelope was poorly stifling her giggles.

"Oh ha-ha." Colin deadpanned. "Great bit and all, Mike, but I'm not marrying you."

"Daddy?" he looked down to where his young daughter was bouncing eagerly on the balls of her feet and looking up to him with hope-filled eyes. "If you're not marrying Uncle Michael, can I marry him please?"

Colin stared at his daughter and then turned furiously to Michael, who wore a shit-eating grin on his face.

"Why Janey, I'd be honoured,"

"Nope!" Colin butted in. "Absolutely not! Don't you dare!"

"Well come on now, Col. Be reasonable. There has to be some sort of nuptials, otherwise I confunded Simon to be the officiant for nothing."

Colin looked over to where the wedding arch was set up and observed his brother-in-law in a strange dopey state, as if waiting to be properly activated.

"Not to mention all the kids were looking forward to watching the make-believe wedding between Uncle Colin and their favourite Uncle Michael." Michael grinned.

Colin narrowed his eyes at him but when he surveyed his surrounding nieces and nephews he couldn't help but notice that they were all in fact looking to him with bubbling excitement, clearly having been promised a silly little playout of their uncle marrying another uncle on his birthday. So, never one to let people down entertainment-wise, Colin heaved out a sigh and turned back to Michael.

"Fine." he huffed out. "Let's get this over and done with, you idiot."

A collective cheer went around the garden before Colin reluctantly allowed himself to be marched down the aisle by Michael. After Michael read out his anecdotal vows much to the amusement of everyone watching, Simon announced they were married and Michael grabbed a hold of Colin's face and gave him a big fat kiss.

"Do you know what the funny thing is?" Michael said to Sophie and Phillip later on. "I actually got Simon ordained for real."

Sophie and Phillip very slowly twisted their heads to stare at him, blinking pointedly as they processed what Michael was inferring.

"Wait a minute; you're not technically married to Colin, are you?" Sophie frowned.

"Yes, there might perhaps be a chance Colin and I are legally married in the state of Hawaii." Michael smirked deviously.

"Merlin's beard, Michael." Phillip face-palmed.

"Oh relax. It's not legally binding unless we go to Hawaii and consummate the marriage."

#asks #harry potter au #the awesome foursome

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crowniko · 11 months

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I drew my OC for bleach!

It's basically just me but in bleach's art style. (I dyed my front strand of hair purple like a year ago, and it's completely white now. I love it sm)

I used a drawing of Nel as reference and went from there! I didn't polish it all too much since I want to focus on writing, but I'm still really happy with it!

I also drew my OC's hollow mask!

Below the cut is an update with Will of the Heart!

In my fanfiction, the reader tends to use 1/4th of the mask, so this is what I imagine. It feels so nice to finally draw everything out!

Something to also note about my fanfiction is that, even though I'm writing everything in second person, there will be certain aspects of the story that aren't up to the reader.

For example, you can use your name since I will never write the readers name! However, the last name, Akira, will be written because of the plot significance. You can decide if you want to ignore that and use your own last name, whatever makes you happy, i just wouldn't be able to say 'the clan of your last name'.

Next up on the list of things I can't write around: Your Zanpakuto. The Zanpakuto in this story is essential to the plotline, and I've spent a long time creating it. I think it's really cool! I've loved being able to write this odd but special relationship of wielder and weapon between a soul reaper and their Zanpakuto.

That's all I can think of right now though! I wasn't able to write as much as I would've liked this weekend, but I'm still getting stuff done. a lot of the work I've done has been crafting the story in my mind while at work (basically all of the time outside of that too), because there are still parts in the story that confuse me. I've gotten through some of those confusing parts though, which means I'll be able to write faster.

Anyways, that's my little update! I hope that you're all having a nice day, and I can't wait to post the first chapter! :)

-nico :)

I keep forgetting to sign my name so that y'all know who I am 😭

I also go by they/them 🥺

shinji's gonna love a they/them bitch 💅

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gemisbored · 1 year

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ok ok I have an idea for a Hollow Knight au so I'll write it down so I don't forget it

so it starts pre-infection. the royal family is doing well. the king and the queen have three kids. the kids are kind of like equivalents to the canon sibling trio (Hollow, Hornet and Ghost), here they're all PK's and WL's children tho. and ofc none of them have void in them.

so to clarify the au kids are oc's, who are similiar to canon characters bc I'm lazy so the story can focus on familiar-ish characters

then the infection starts. some secret Radiance-worshipping group started to get bigger and oops, now Radi's plague exists. at first bugs aren't that worried, it'll problably get cured soon. it takes about a month for scientists (maybe Monomon would study the infection?) to figure out that the infection has something to do with mind control. my hc is that becoming fully infected can take weeks and the first bugs infected were like wild animals or something. figuring out the nature of the infection obviously makes everyone worried.

a week or two after that a moth (imagine Seer's grandma) wants to talk to the king. she tells about her suspicions that the moth tribe's abanoned god is the cause of the infection

cut to when PK arrived in hallownest. his first night is there he has a weird dream. there's bright, golden light and a voice of another higher being. the voice says "this is my territory. you can hand your power to me, Wyrm, or suffer a long, painful death". PK thinks something along the lines of "huh, that's weird. ANYWAYS back to making a kingdom!"

cut to today, PK realizes that ignoring that threat years ago was a mistake. he looks shoked, but soon returns to his Cool Royal Expression™ and says that he aknowledges the moth's concernes and that he'll find a way to fight the infection.

right after that PK sets up a meeting with Hallownest's most imortant bugs (WL, the 5 great knights, Monomon, etc). the conversation goes like "the weird infection that has been going around is likely the manifestation of a forgotten god's anger" "WHAT" "WHAT" "WHAT"

at some point Monomon comes up with a beta- vessel plan. it's highly theoretical, "if void could make a bug hollow, destroy their mind, perhaps they could get close enough to the old light to harm her, without being in immediate danger of becoming infected. can't be mind controlled if you don't have a mind, right?". the problem with this plan is how unlikely it is to work. for the plan to work, the sacrificed bugs would have to be higher beings, and even then the risk of failiure would be huge. PK and WL understand the implications of that and instantly refuse the plan. in this au they are parents, the love for their children helps them realize how fucked up that plan is.

back to square one I guess.

day by day, month by month, year by year the infection slowly but surely becomes worse and worse. bugs are getting desperate. all kinds of plans are getting thrown around. nothing is done tho. everything is too risky, too likely to fail, sacrifices too much. no plan is good enough.

the next part is not set in stone, I will change it later.

WL or one of the kids (maybe Hollow equivalent?) starts getting infected. this was a very calculated move by Radi. the victim's first infection was at the barely noticable first stage for months. Radi slowly snuck into their mind. then her plan was to quickly get the infection to a point of no return. the victim ends up in a hospital (or something) under constant care. PK is not doing ok. at that point the possibility of losing one of his loved ones to the infection was becoming reality

now he sees two possibilities. both of them involve (potentially) sacrificing himself. [both of these are very much under construction]

the first path is to personally fight the Radiance. how? idk. problably by "inviting her to his dreams" or something. idk the dream realm makes no sense.

in the second path he meets up with Radi in the dream realm like in the other option, but this time he does not seek a fight. he brings up the offer Radi made when he arrived in Hallownest. PK begs for Radi to leave his kingdom and loved ones alone. previously he rejected all plans involving sacrifices, but my mans getting desperate here. he says that since he's the one she's angry with, everyone else should stay out of this. "please, don't hurt them anymore. they've suffered enough because of my stubborness"

both of these options are against his morals, but that's what losing a wife/ a child (or two) does to a mf I guess

anyways please feel free to ask questions about this. also I'd appreciate if anyone would be willing to come up with stuff for this au lol

#hollow knight #hollow knight au #kh au #hk alternate universe #hk pale king #hk white lady #I do not have a name for this yet lol #let's play 'how long will it take for me to change something about this au'#I'm guessing like 4 days #and oops this got long

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czarrish · 1 year

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I posted 493 times in 2022

238 posts created (48%)

255 posts reblogged (52%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hypokeimena

@villainanders

@czarrish

@jacksonmaine

@serenity-the-firefly

I tagged 418 of my posts in 2022

Only 15% of my posts had no tags

#tv: titans - 35 posts

#tv: yellowjackets - 25 posts

#gaming: dragon age - 17 posts

#gaming: dragon age 2 - 14 posts

#tv: 911 - 13 posts

#tv: stranger things - 11 posts

#dick grayson tag - 9 posts

#series: the raven cycle - 8 posts

#tv: umbrella academy - 6 posts

#laugh rule - 6 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#and my therapist was like eyesemoji maybe it's because this is the longest stretch you've had in six years where nothing terrible has happe

My Top Posts in 2022:

i'm downloading da2 onto my nice gaming laptop because @clashofkings reminded me that the DA2 tvtropes page exists and i've been reading it all day dreamy-sighing like "god this lore is so fucked up god BLESS"

16 notes - Posted February 10, 2022

so my thing about dc titans jason todd is that if you know where his story is going (and i'd imagine that most people who are watching titans are at least.....vaguely familiar with where jason todd's story is going), you can literally see every single decision and failure on behalf of the people in his lives that leads him down that path.

from jason's perspective--dick lets go of his hand and lets him fall, donna and hank viciously blame him for their own resurfacing guilt, rose earns his trust and then horribly betrays it, his therapist turns on him, bruce doesn't think he's strong enough to be robin anymore

but the final straw for him being that he can't protect molly, and that he thinks bruce sees him as too weak to protect anyone? that fucks me up.

16 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

i literally shrieked out loud in SHOCK when eddie looked at bobby and went, "you got a hundred plus bodies on you and I'M unfit for duty?"

19 notes - Posted March 22, 2022

LETS GOOOOOOOO

41 notes - Posted March 31, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

reasons you should play scarlet hollow

SCARLET HOLLOW is a horror narrative game set in the dying north carolina coal mining town of Scarlet Hollow, where you play the cousin of tabitha scarlet (head of the mines), coming back to town after a family rift for your aunt's funeral. things are wrong in town, and as tensions simmer over working conditions in the mine, the dark secrets of the town start to boil over in the form of supernatural events. work with cryptid hunter stella, general store owner kaneeka and her witchy mother sybil, newcomer avery, hot dad librarian oscar, mysterious artist reese, and of course, your cousin tabitha to uncover the secrets of scarlet hollow--before they drag you and your friends into the depths.

WHY YOU SHOULD PLAY:

there are seven character traits to choose from (mystic, talks to animals, hot, street smart, powerful build, keen eye, and booksmart). you pick two, and they influence how you can react to situations and how people can react to you. i've done three playthroughs with different traits so far, and they have all been radically different. the second playthrough i did, i was blown away by how many things were fixable, or could be made so very much worse, or hadn't existed at all in my first playthrough.

going off of that: the choices that you make in this game actually matter. and not in a "you can have different buddies going into the final battle!" sort of way. in a life or death sort of way, in a brutal consequences for our heroes sort of way. there is at least one MAJOR decision in each chapter, which can end in multiple different ways depending on your choices, and they stick with you.

the characters have rich back stories, and you can tell that the writers planned this whole story out from start to finish before releasing chapter one. i just started a playthrough after finishing chapter four, and the events of that chapter are foreshadowed all over the place in ch1, which was released a year ago.

it's GENUINELY scary without relying on cheap jumpscares or gore tactics. so much of the horror in this game comes from the dread it invokes, and the implications for our heroes. in chapter four, i was literally hiding behind my hands for a large section of the game.

i need PEOPLE TO TALK TO ABOUT THIS GAME because i am LOSING MY MIND over how good and game-altering chapter four was, and i am gonna die. thank you please do the damn thing

246 notes - Posted December 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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tabslabs · 4 months

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Fuck it that time I did pkgyro hours gets a read more post

so uhhh pkgyro huh

I'm a pretty basic person, you give me something and I'll probably like it. So yeah all those ideas are good. That love triangle thing, good. one sided on gyro's side, good. One sided on donald's side, good. One sided on PK's side specifically and not actually donald's side, good wait actually I'm not entirely sure how that last one works did someone talk about it before? I woke up 20 minutes ago I'm not sure I guess it's like, in the mask he's got the courage to flirt with him sorta deal? Like if he visits Gyro normally he feels that it's already pre-established to be as bros or as business, but as PK the boundaries aren't 100% set due to years of repetition(? is that the word?) Whatever the case you gotta have lil helper know everything though, like that's just solid. He's the ultimate shipper and screams at their uselessness.

I'm trying to think of anything good to say about carcans but all I got is: PK: bawling in the corner because he just said a really bad cock/chicken pick up line and it was SO MUCH WORSE coming out of his mouth than he imagined Gyro: do you want me to just ea- PK: vicious nodding I'm really bad at pickup lines so don't ask me to say any. My girlfriend usually throws things at me when I try On that note, the thought "Science heaven must be missing an angel cause here you are" just popped into my head so there's that. Gyro probably thought he was talking about helper or something I dunno. They're both idiots

Speaking of these two boys being absolute idiots, you know that no matter who asks the other out the other one isn't going to figure out it's a date cause they never use those specific key words Alternatively Gyro strikes me as the kind of guy to use the phrase "it's a date!" for any outdoor gathering so PK just doesn't register it's a /date/ date due to knowing him as Donald for so long Oh that could lead to some fun shenanigans where Gyro thinks they both know it's a date so they meetup at a park late at night or maybe on some rooftop and just sit together staring at the moon. Helper's playing some mood music off in the distance and it's a pleasant evening It's calming, soothing, irradiating peace, and it's late, PK just finished doing rounds after polishing coins in the money bin. He leans on to Gyro's shoulder and Gyro thinks it's a cute couples thing and they sit like that for a while and Gyro just starts talking to him a bit. but he stops short when PK just starts to snore. He's dead out of there, and Gyro didn't even get to any of the heartfelt stuff yet. He's understanding but he feels bad because- he just wanted so much more out of the night out. Maybe bad isn't the right word, empty? hollow? like when you know there's no real reason to be upset with the person, but you're a little betrayed with the way the world worked out and it hurts but no actual animosity towards anyone. Not to the extent of crying but it;s there gaping in your chest, eating at your spirit. anyway the next day comes and PK's all "fsfsfshgg I'm sorry I fell asleep while we were hanging out, it was just really nice and your voice was so soothing" and Gyro's just kinda taken aback by the voice comment but he says nothing and's just like so what'd ya want? and PK's just kinda like,,, to kinda hang out anyway I guess? are you busy right now cause I can go and come back later- and Gyro's got like mountains of work to do for free but he looks at it and helper just kinda gives him a thumbs up and waves his arms like "BE FREE GO DATE" So they go watch a movie but it's not really a date movie. Maybe a horror movie (I'd say an action flick but those are decently common as date movies) cause PK can't be caught at some romcom in the suit. And Gyro's just kinda "frrick it's as friends" while blood covers the screen

I'd imagine Gyro's kinda huffy when he gets home and helper's just hands him some things that need to be hammered so he can let off some steam and PK's SUUUUPER confused as to why Gyro was upset at the end of the movie cause he had bought all the snacks and tickets, but whatever Gyro's all "no it's okay it's fine nothing is wrong" while smashing a hot piece of metal with all his might and oh my god that came out so much worse than I wanted it to. I'm sure there's a joke that could be made equating PK to the metal but tbh I'm not entirely sure who tops aight we're apparently getting into nsfw content or something not sure where this is going to go in a second

Alright we're just going to jump ship on that area and find something new to latch on to give me a sec to reroute my brain

Look I know I used to ramble like this a lot more when I was in my transformers days, and I also wasn't able to pick up on innuendo at all I'm really starting to wonder if half the shit I said sounded like that and that's why everyone thought I wanted to fuck starscream We gotta get more pure and good stuff up in here wow okay so let's just start rolling with something random I dunno let's just drop Gyro and PK at an apple farm just get out of this, no robots on the apple farm it's old school. Sorry lil helper wasn't allowed to the apple farm

so that means no wingman, Gyro's gotta turn this apple farm thing into a date without his helper. And I'm not sure he can. I'm sorry what the hell are they doing on an apple farm? is it something else grandma owned? is there a bad guy here? they just getting apples for something I GOT IT a type of fertilizer Gyro made started turning some apple trees into treants so they gotta turn em back into regular trees. They gotta pick apples in order to see if it's a treant or not, so we got a lot of Gyro boostin PK up to reach the high ones that are too high for both of them cause no robots/machines means none of them claws to get high apples I think they both just keep picking apples and ummm you know I could easily go with some sort of admiring PK's ass dealio but I'm going to try to not. They're just picking apples and they're going to go make some jam with it later I guess since they have an entire bag full

I'm not sure who holds the apples, maybe PK cause Gyro's already picking him up at every tree and it wouldn't be fair to have him carry an entire bag of apples as well. So they're just picking apples and killing treants and honestly does anyone see anything wrong with this? isn't it the ideal and perfect date? it's such quality romantic time. Said nobody ever. What the hell was I thinking with this it makes no sense i even told helper to go sit in the car. they're not gonna do shit without someone pushing them. They're just going to do their fuckin job. I bet Gyro was all "I'll tell him today I'll tell him I love him" and helpers all "BZZT!!" and he's like "YEAH" then they show up at this godforsaken apple farm with walking fuckin trees and helper's told he has to wait in the car and PK's picking apples and damn that's a nice ass but FUCK I CAN'T SAY ANYTHING I'M A USELESS FUCKIN SCIENTIST WHO'S ONLY JOB RIGHT NOW IS TO PICK UP A DUCK And he's just dying inside and PK has NO idea cause he's like "aight thanks for being here bro I can't use my spring shoes to reach these cause of the rule so it's a huge help" so Gyro's just like FUCK I'M LITERALLY REPLACING HIS FUCKING SHOES So they get back to the car and helper's giving him those "how'd it go?" filaments and Gyro just looks at him back with those "I'm a pair of shoes" eyes and helper just kinda gives up trying to piece together whatever the fuck that means

[To a statement on the lack of helper] I'm sorry there was a strict no robot policy, he's sitting in the car with the AC on listening to his favorite music while coloring

yes I know 313 has no roof and helper is a robot, apparently PK doesn't care about climate change

Aight I guess that's it right? PKGyro hours are one hour long yeah? Questions? Comments? Concerns? If you would like to tell Tabithor Avius that her temporary hosting was fantastic or a piece of shit, leave your thoughts below

#twitter archive #aug 2018

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ufohio · 1 year

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The State of Florida & You

First of all, don't worry. I am not handling graphics on the site. 😂 I'm just having myself some fun. It's Friday, after all. TGIF, people! ❤ But I promised I would and I will and here it is: Let's talk about Floridians! For a more in-character introduction, check out my other awesome art piece.

But brass tacks! Read on for some basics and frequently asked questions about our sunshiney neighbors.

Floridians: They've always been aliens.

At our upcoming science fiction roleplay, we're going to tell you the TRUTH. While other roleplays are content to leave you in the dark, X WORLD is all about honesty. And the honest truth is ... Florida is a load of crock. As our FAQ puts it,

Brace yourself: the state of Florida does not exist and never has. Invented ages ago by spooky government officials who required a fictional place to obscure the origins of certain individuals, and bolstered by constant efforts to falsely advertise its made-up beaches, fantastical amusement parks, and strange "locals," Florida has been used as a false origin and cover story for extraterrestrial visitors for years. Ages, even. Basically forever.

In our setting, "Floridians" then refers to extraterrestrial visitors and citizenry enrolled in the Florida Program and disguised as formerly subtropical human beings. This allows them access to many benefits as well as many challenges.

Confused? Don't be. Here are some common questions about Floridians, many straight from our FAQ!

What kind of alien can I make? We went over this a bit the other day... On X WORLD, you can make any kind of alien you want; we will have no prescribed alien peoples, planets, or species. Because there are a bazillion gamillion trillion fazillion nebulas, galaxies, stars, planetary systems, and exoplanets, all aliens can easily be completely different from one another. So go wild! The world is your giant space oyster. For your edification, our profiles will ask what kind of lifeform your extraterrestrial character is and will also inquire about their true identity, their true form, their cover story, and any abilities they have, areas they might need to improve on—and just a few fun facts about them in general.

So my alien can have special powers and abilities? Yes. In fact, they can have any power you can imagine. We suggest you think about the composition of your alien and how that might interact with the physics or scientific laws of Earth—not to mention any quirks that might occur with their human disguise! For example, my color-based alien lifeform Edie, whose true form is something closer to mist than body, can float and see colors humans can't—but her disguise is too light (because it's almost hollow) and she can get knocked down by a stiff breeze super easily! Where can my alien be from? Alien lifeforms originate from anywhere outside our Solar System. Most aliens have relocated from outside the Solar System as well; however, outliers are possible. For example, some aliens may have secretly landed and hidden on Earth generations ago. You may use your own discretion and best senses in determining your alien's origin story.

Does my alien have to be enrolled in the Florida Program? Not necessarily. Extraterrestrial alien lifeforms are encouraged but not required to enroll in the Florida Program. Your alien could have come to the planet by other means or other programs. They could have crash-landed and wish to avoid detection. Or, they could overlap another group, such as an alien enrolled in the Florida Program but also employed by the Department or involved with the University. As of the start of the game, Floridian participants are also eligible to graduate into citizenship after ten years of enrollment, making them Earthlings as well!

Does the public know about aliens? The existence and presence of alien life is strictly confidential, tippity-top secret, on a super-duper need-to-know basis and those that need to know are NOT supposed to tell … but when has that plan ever worked?

By and large, the public does not know about the existence of extraterrestrial visitors; it’s a closely guarded secret. However, there are always exceptions, and you can assume that some secret agents may choose to tell their families despite their nondisclosure agreements or an alien child might decide to tell his human best friend, et cetera.

You can also assume that if a citizen goes to the media with this knowledge, shadowy figures will work to thoroughly discredit them. Why do you think all UFO theorists look and sound like nutty hillbillies to you?

What kind of story opportunities can my alien have? So many! There are many different themes, tensions, and narrative opportunities throughout the setting. Additionally, I've included four storyline suggestions for each member group. They look a little something like this, for instance: ALIENS BOUGHT THE FARM: Floridians can live anywhere in the city, but many have elected to live just outside Earth, Ohio, in the remote and large-acreage farmlands that surround half of the town—and you know what else? They're really good at it. As a matter of fact, Floridian-owned farms and ranches have set new county records in both size and quality of the yields as well as flavor. But how long will it be before humans get suspicious of their bizarre farming methods, otherworldly fruits, and secrets?

I hope this helps you envision alien life on this strange and wonderful planet of ours. I'm excited to see the kinds of stories you come up with! If you have any remaining questions about Floridians or other aliens, please feel free to ask!

#floridians #aliens #minor update #science fiction rp #jcink buzz #Faq

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shintin · 2 years

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Forget Me Not: Chapter 16 (Deepest Fear)

↳ Gojo Satoru x Female Reader

Description: Imagine that from the moment you opened your eyes into this world, you had no choice but to kill and shed the blood of others, that you had to fight alongside Toji Fushiguru and die with him.

What would you do when they force you to do something you don't like? When the torment of conscience presses on your throat, will you give up? Now think about a day that life gives you another chance; how would you use it?

This is the story of a murderer who seeks salvation. Will she find it in the arms of Satoru Gojo? Or will pain find her sooner than redemption and drive her out of heaven forever?

Genre: heavy angst, sad love story, maybe tragedy, violence, lonely hearts, broken souls, +18.

Tags/Warnings: nothing but love.

Author Note: Okay, I know this was a short chapter, but I promise you the next chapter is a long one. Also, I love sad Gojo. I think in the manga, he is like a lonely little boy. Being the strongest doesn't mean you'll also have a blessed life.

Song Recommendation: Damien Rice - Sleep Don't Weep

Chapter index -> Next chapter

Year: 2018

Satoru opened the door to his room and sat on the corner of the bed without paying attention to the woman. He turned his back and rested his hands on his knees.

'How could everything go wrong at once?' He thought to himself while staring at the ground with a numb mind.

Meanwhile, the redheaded woman walked slowly past Satoru, unbuttoning her trench coat. Her cloth slid lightly over her shoulders and fell to the ground in front of him, hiding nothing but her naked body under it.

Satoru raised his head with hollow eyes and looked at the naked woman in front of him. The playful smile on her lips made him sick.

It is why unlike usual, Satoru didn't smile back. He didn't get up. He didn't move his hands to pull the red-haired woman towards himself. Instead, he gazed upon Riba, questioning her acts.

"Did you miss me, baby?" The woman laughed seductively and sat down in front of Satoru.

He didn't answer and continued to follow her movements with his eyes.

The red-haired woman was getting nervous. She faked a smile again and rubbed her hand between his legs. Then, as she wet her lips with her tongue, she reached for the belt of his pants to unbuckle it. She wanted his attention and was desperate to have it.

Satoru suddenly came to his senses, grabbed Riba tightly by the wrist, and grabbed her chin.

"What do you think you are doing?" There was no emotion in his tone. It was the exact Satoru Gojo who had no mercy for those who dared to cross his lines.

"So, you still love it rough, huh? How do you want to get your birthday blowjob?" The woman said flirtatiously. She had no idea, or was she good at acting?

"Did I ask you to come here?" The calm before the storm was visible in his ocean eyes.

"Come on Satoru, don't ruin my surprise~" And she leaned towards him until her breasts hit his knees.

Satoru didn't react. "I'm not your boyfriend, friend, family member, colleague or anything! Why did it occur to you that you should surprise me?!" Little by little, anger was heard in his voice.

"But I thought that ...."

"Riba, I talked to you a few weeks ago that we are not going to see each other anymore. I never was your boyfriend! You accepted too, but it seems like you didn't listen well!" Satoru removed his hand from her chin and rubbed his forehead. His head was about to go off. He had other priorities to think about than wasting time with this woman.

'Is she in her room? Is she upset with me?' He was only worried about Y/N. He raised his head and looked at the door, thinking about going after her, but what did he want to say? 'Excuse me because I'm a manwhore and my sins have followed me all the way here?'

"You can't break up with me just like that, Satoru!" The woman retorted.

Satoru sighed, turned his head, got up, lifted her trench coat off the ground, and took the coat towards her without looking at Riba's face. He said in a cold tone, "we were not together to begin with. We were just fuck buddies, woman! I had explained to you that I don't want to be in a relationship!"

Riba angrily snatched her trench coat from his hand. "You didn't even get hard with my touch! Is all this because of that girl? What does she have that I don't have? Is she tighter than me? Does she suck you up better than me? Is she your new whor...."

Before she could finish, Satoru interrupted her. "Stop it, don't go on. Don't cross my lines. I'm asking you nicely to leave my room!" He closed his eyes and exhaled angrily, trying his best not to yell.

The woman's eyes got wet with tears. She took a few steps towards him, but Satoru pulled himself back. She was pushing his buttons. "Get-out-of-my-room!" His index finger pointed to the door.

The woman ran to the door while crying, opened it, and ran past two teenagers in the hallway as tears were flowing from her eyes.

Nobara and Yuji looked at the woman in surprise, then at the open door of their Sensei's room. They exchanged glances while silently passing by his room. They saw him sitting on a chair, his head down and his hands locked behind his neck. He didn't even notice the two. Six eyes were occupied in reviewing the disaster.

Neither of them had ever seen Satoru angry. Nobara gently pulled Yuji's sleeve and motioned him not to go inside. Yuji wanted to protest, but she pinched his arm and made him follow her.

Now that Satoru was alone, his brain could better assess the chain of events. If he hadn't posted that photo, maybe he would be with Y/N, probably hugging her, leaving his skin to absorb all of her soothing touches. Perhaps he would bury his face in her shoulders, feeling the warmth of her body. Maybe Y/N would wrap her arms around his head, making trails of kisses on his forehead, cheek, lips, scars, and cuddle the shit out of him... but none of these could happen now.

He and his lifestyle and his meaningless relationships had cost him a lot.

Rainwater was still dripping from Satoru's hair onto the floor. He laughed bitterly; just an hour ago, the two were holding hands in the rain. How soon could it be too late?

Satoru turned his head in despair to the shared wall of his room with Y/N's.

I guess she hates me, doesn't she? Can't blame her even.' Satoru sighed, put his hand on his knee, and got up. Suddenly fear filled his whole being. He looked again. Nope, He couldn't feel Y/N's cursed energy.

'Could it be that Y/N has hidden her energy again? No, the hotel is full of people. She would never make that choice. What if....'

"You can be free in the sea. You can disappear into the sea and no one will find you," Y/N's voice echoed in his ear.

Without thinking, Satoru hurried out of his room and stood in front of her room. He knocked on the door. "Y/N? Are you there? I need to talk to you."

Satoru knocked on the door a few more times. "Are you alright? Are you there? I'm worried about you. Can you just say yes, or no?" He asked desperately. When no sound was heard, concern ran through all of his veins. He looked around, clasped his hands, and warped in Y/N's room. The room was dark. Satoru looked around the room in a panic. Her phone was on her bed, and the balcony door was open.

Satoru's brain froze. "No, don't think about it, this is not possible." He repeated to himself, but in his mind, Y/N's voice was repeated: "You can be free, you can disappear, and no one will find you."

Satoru shook his head. 'She won't go anywhere. She cares about Yuji. She won't leave him alone.'

Y/N wasn't a weak person, he knew that, but he also knew that people drowning in grief alone for a long time could engage in unpredictable behaviors. This was what exactly happened to his friend, Suguro Geto, and he didn't want this for Y/N, for himself, again.

And at that moment, without warning, the fear of losing Y/N filled his heart.

Satoru looked at his trembling hands while a cold sweat broke out on his forehead. He quickly clenched his fists and ran to the lobby. No, she wasn't there. His footsteps moved outside in desperate search of any trace of the cursed energy of Y/N.

Satoru's heart calmed down when he reached the hotel's back. His eyes fell on Y/N, who was walking next to Megumi. She was there, safe, alive with a faint smile on her lips, and it was enough for him. She hadn't disappeared. She hadn't vanished. She hadn't left him alone. She hadn't turned her back on him. She hadn't abandoned him like Suguru and others.

Y/N was there, breathing, walking, and that was enough for him.

He was aware of the hell he was stepping into. She had shed the blood of many, perhaps she had been the most sinful angel on earth, but none of this mattered to him. What mattered to Satoru was that Y/N still had chosen to stay there, with them. She could run away, but she was there to pay the atonement of her sins. The sins that she didn't want to commit in the first place.

He sighed deeply. Could he fix this mess? Because he was willing to do anything to hear her laughter again.

Satoru stood there in his wet clothes for a long time and watched Y/N, talking to Megumi, who knows about what. She was moving her hands in the air, describing a thing maybe, tucking her hair behind her ear several times, being nervous surely, pressing her nail into the palms of her hands, hiding her emotions perfectly. His six eyes knew her.

Suddenly Satoru's phone rang. Caller ID indicated the call was from the Mansion of the Gojo family. He put the phone to his ear:

"Young Master, please get here quickly. Your mother is not well, and she wants to see you" Then a continuous beep sound was heard.

Satoru's breath was trapped in his chest for a moment. He raised his head and looked at Y/N again for the last time. Then he turned his head to return to his childhood home.

Fate was full of strange ironies. He would lose his mother on the day that his mother had given him life.

Tag list for Forget Me Not: @wobblewobble822 @imaginationisme @itsmekalou @yukianzaiii @halveablock @selahna @grade1sorcerer @yehet-moi-ohorat @crazyotakugal @cheezybell @insoukesboarmask @gojothealaskaboyph @their1andonly @dabithetouya @whyispistashanuttaken @marbleii @godtieruwu @chippyroh @where-are-you-everywhere @sirynbitch @hijiki-heichou @megumirose @ob-levi-on @appleseed-zahyou @nikajoyceinwonderland @icejifish @makiinin @julianat555 @skiwalkers @syll08 @aceofhermes @nemcxis @hiimahuman @tokoshojibestotp @gojoesatire @alicekaiba @your-nerd-is-showing @yosanoaki @ritsuuuyouu @4l-3x @meriem04 @blacklione15 @spookyboogyuniverse @jcssy @someonenoteveryone @kurushiisaboss @boredcatsyndrome @quevivalafresafrijolita @freefestivalherringdean @bloomed-in-starlight @dibz00 @hypercementosis @shaylove418 @lalazyboi @djxrin @mikusailor @elenaazz @gojoscumslut @directioer4dayz @deadflowerd @pearlstiare @teodooram @enesitamor @martiniilemonada @spookyboogyuniverse @someonenoteveryone @meriem04 @jcssy

if you don't want to be on the tag list, please inform me :)

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jay-and-dean · 3 years

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Worse

Dean x reader

Summary : Is it possible to love someone so much, you just wish you’re lucky enough to die first ?

Warnings : This is ANGST. I’m not kidding, this is panic attack, suicidal thoughts, grieving, light thought of murder, borderline domestic violence angst. This is kinda Dark and be careful that it’s not too triggering for you, please.

Wordcount : 1.8 k

Note : This is my fic for @negans-lucille-tblr‘s 6k “roll the dice” writing challenge. My genre prompt was Angst (I think you got it by now) and my prompt was “I’ve been pulling you close but pushing me further”, it’s blod in the fic.

December is a harsh month for me, so here is a harsh fic.

Jay’s Masterlist

_____________________

Dean did it again.

He swore on his life he wouldn't, you should have known that it meant nothing.

How fucking ironic it is ? Dean Winchester swearing on his own life that he will try to protect it, that he won't shield every person on Earth with his soul and body.

You're holding your painful chest, sitting on that stupid bed in this stupid motel room where nothing makes any sense anymore because your world is crumbling again. And your mind is going all the way down its own spiral of pain, the worst there is.

Your breath is short and your thoughts go so fast, a super computer giving you all the details of the movie that will be your life once Dean is gone.

The silence.

The implacable silence in the bunker, the void left by the end of his voice, the kind of silence that hurts so much it could kill you, harassing cruelly, again and again, with no break at all until you're ready to open your skull on a wall to make it stop.

That kind of silence.

The empty bed back home, the empty room. Your mind makes emptiness rain on you : Empty kitchen and no bacon, no joy ever, no sex, no one holding you and telling it's going to be okay. No one really understanding you and no hero on Earth, no butterflies ever again. No reason to live. Empty heart. Empty life.

Empty fucking world.

In the middle of this chaotic din, you think of his toothbrush, of throwing it in the trash because he won't need to clean his cute, going slightly inward, teeth ever again. Of his clothes waiting on the closet forever, and how fast the smell on it will fade.

You think of the nights spending screaming for him to come back because nothing is bearable without him, nothing... Screaming until you can't, strangling yourself with sobs, knowing it won't help because begging, threatening and bargaining won't change a thing.

And the days being even worse.

You think of the moment you will manage to forget the loss just enough to breathe, for a second, sitting on your bed, imagining he is just gone to the bathroom and that he will show up, pass this door again... Then remember he will never look back in your eyes again, fall even harder... And now you want to die.

Right now.

Even if all this is not real yet, even if Dean is still alive, you just want to die. You need to stop feeling anything forever now, just not exist because you don't want to be here when all of this happens.

And it will happen.

He just proved it. Your love for him doomed you and you're done praying that anyone listening would let you take his burdens...

Your thoughts shatter when he opens the door of the motel room and walks in with his heart beating and his chest breathing, blood running through his veins... But seeing him is not a relief this time, not anymore, and the deafening fear is still compressing your ribs with its vise talons.

"Baby" he sighs and you whimper at the pain of thinking one day you won't hear it anymore.

Everything hurts.

Until now, you always managed to calm after Dean almost died. It always took a few days being extremely anxious, living in the shadow of fear, feeling like nothing had any meaning anymore, but he always managed to make you whole again. With empty promises that he won't leave you, that he will always be by your side...

Bullshit.

Last time, the unbearable despair of knowing he will go before you didn't leave you completely, and you still suffer this horrible void caused by the idea that nothing worth living, if it is not forever.

This time, you know it, that horrible sorrow won't leave you. Not ever.

"Dean, it's over."

His big green eyes widen and his large body comes in front of you. His beloved body that you will have to burn one day, watching it as flames eat his freckled skin and flesh, as they turn to nothingness the man you love.

"Don't say that" he groans. "Baby, look at me. I didn't know for the metal thing."

You close your eyes, seeing the vampire impale him on this stupid bar again and again and it's like the spikes goes through you too.

"You know this one is not on me" he sighs. "It's not like I did it on purpose !"

"This one" you mutter his words in echo. "Maybe if you hadn't worn my heart out with all the times it was actually 'on purpose' like you say..."

He squats in front of you but you can't look at him. He was ready to say goodbye... Again. He was ready for you to lose him, who cares if you are ready or not.

"Don't say that..." he tries to touch your cheek with his fingers, the ones you held while performing that horrible spell to save him at Death's door.

To save him against his will.

But you flinch away and repeat.

"It's over. I won't watch you die."

"I won't, Baby" he tries again but those lies are hollow and your soul burned out.

You get up and pace the ugly room, unable to bear his face so close after seeing it turn dead pale once more.

"You know how lucky you are ?" you say in a broken voice, way too sad to cry. "You're obviously ready to die, to leave me. You will be the one leaving first and th-that is the luckiest place..." he looks down and takes a loud inhale. "You're so fucking ready to quit."

"I'm not" he states but you ignore his words, they are just wind now.

"But I'm not" you continue, seeing tears fill his perfect eyes. "I can't... O-one day I will have to burn your body, Dean... How selfish is it ? Have you ever thought of what happens after your stupid blaze of glory ?" he keeps his eyes down without saying a word and you could hit him, you want to but instead you let out a desperate strangled scream of pain. "HOW FUCKING SELFISH ARE YOU ! YOU'RE WILLING TO SAVE EVERYBODY BUT ME !"

The burning rage rises in your soul, in your body, and it's like flames were consuming you too, like you were on a stake. Your skin is burning, blood boiling and your heart feels like ember.

"Y/n" he tries, paralyzed by his inability to face this paradox :

If he keeps trying to save you and everybody else with his life, it will kill you ; but if you die, he still burns.

Is it possible to love someone too much ? Is it possible to actually die of love ? Is it possible that it is too late, that you're already dead...

"I CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE YOU" you scream and a costumer of the motel yells for you to shut up behind the wall, you couldn't care less. "FUCK YOU DEAN WINCHESTER !"

He walks to you but the blazing pain is killing you, and you push him violently, making him step back in a huff.

"It's the job, Baby, you know that" he tries but it feels like gasoline on the pyre of your heart.

"Those suicidal shits to talk to Death ! Fucking OD on meds !" you feel tears roll on your face, down your chin and chest, but you don't think you're crying, or maybe you have been all this time... "Michael ! HELL ! THE MA'LAK BOX ! I NEVER FORGAVE YOU FOR THAT !"

"Y/n... I'm trying..."

"You should have tried harder ! I have been there, following you everywhere, accepting your stubbornness. I've been pulling you close but pushing me further. I'm dying of loving you Dean... I have to go."

You turn to put your clothes in your bag.

"You can't leave" he states, coming closer.

"WATCH ME !"

With hunter speed, he wraps his arms around you, hard and fast, with all his strength, preventing your every moves. All you can do is scream, and hit his arms to get free like they were enemies.

"You... You're not leaving me Y/n" he states through tears while you're fighting like you can. "You can't leave me... You're the meaning of my life... I love you more than anything in the world."

"LIAR !" you sob, hitting him with all you have, hitting him with your pain and your panic, with the despair that is consuming you.

You're fighting in a desperate last attempt to survive, like it was your last breath but when he squeezes your weak body harder, you hit and scratch every parts of him you can reach even more.

"I could die for you" he sobs.

"DON'T SAY THAT ! LET ME GO" you scream again, your voice hoarse and throat sore.

The neighbor knocks on the wall... And your eyes catch a glance at your gun at reach.

You grab it with the speed of rage and point it to Dean's temple. Nothing matters anymore, and maybe if you both died in that dirty room, you would end up together in Hell...

He doesn't move. You look at his tears soaked face, this face you love more than it is healthy to, to his tired wrinkled eyes, so red that the green seems greener... You cry at how beautiful he is, and press the barrel harder on his temple.

"I could kill you..." you mutter with clench teeth through your blurred mind.

"Do it" he orders. "DO IT !"

His shouting makes you flinch when his nose grazes yours at how close he is.

"WHY IN HELL WOULD YOU SAVE MY LIFE TO LEAVE ME AFTER ! I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU !" he screams and presses his head harder on the gun. "LEAVING OR PUTTING A BULLET IN ME ARE JUST THE SAME ! SO GO ON ! DO IT !"

You fall.

His arms catch you and keep you up, but every crumb of your will just fell. The gun slips from your hand...

A few years ago, you swore to love Dean forever, even if it meant death or Hell or even worse... So you will stay here, just here in his trembling arms until you have to burn him, for you neither can face that cruel paradox.

You know you will walk on that pyre, that day, and hold him until the end. You will burn, but you will stay...

Because this is it.

This is worse.

_________________________

FEEDBACK IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME

Tags : @parinarain @mogaruke @masterof-agony @rainflowermoon @tftumblin @deans-baby-momma @roonyxx @thefaithfulwriter @vicariouslythruspn @emeow1496 @daryldixonandfrogs @holylulusworld @cocklesbelli @sandlee44 @screenchingartisancashbailiff @donnaintx @stormchasingchick32-deactivated @akshi8278 @magssteenkamp @sister-winchesters99 @neii3n @lyss-dw79 @im-a-shrub @sadwaywardkid@hopelesslydevotedtoyou1912 @slyqueenj @i-love-superhero @waywardsisterandpie @sunsetsandbooks @mrspeacem1nusone @stylesismyhubs @deanwanddamons @jawritter @peridottea91 @chelsea072498 @chocolateheart @vicmc624 @teresa-67 @jessie-michael @doctor-hp-mcu @hawkerz12 @mariaenchanted @hobby27 @wirdbeimaufhebengebunden @thoughts-and-funnies @suramyaa @yasreadsfics @brilovesdeanwinchester

#bees6krollthedicechallenge #supernatural #Supernatural Dean Winchester #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fic #SPN #SPNFamily #dean winchester #spn dean x reader #dean x reader #dean x y/n #angst #violence #panic #death talk #established relationship #jay and dean

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blackasmidnightcats · 4 years

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QfG Rants and Remakes part 5

Big thanks to both @agathasarmy and @yarasquad for sharing their ideas with me and believing that I could actually make a coherent rant without being too swallowed up by my emotions and hopefully I'll be able to do the same here.

P.S. Imma change the title of the next Rants and Remakes cause it's definitely not focusing on QfG anymore and it's gonna focus of AWWP so yeah...there's that to look forward too.

Chaddick & Yara + Tagatha interlude

Note: This post was originally gonna be titled "Chaddick & Yara + Mourning the Departed" and would have turned out as how it is explained below but as I was writing about Chaddick I realized that I needed to talk about something concerning Tagatha and realized that this post would have been too long for all three so I gonna move the "Mourning of Departed" in its own post. Hope you guys understand. Tagatha has a strong pull with me.

Imma actually gonna outline this cause I need to organize my thoughts and at least with this I could remember the direction that I would be heading.

First part's definitely going to talk about how Chaddick and Yara's death is bs

Then imma explain why them staying alive would have impacted the TCY storyline a lot more meaningfully (p.s. this is where the Tagatha interlude will be found)

And last (and this has been moved to its own post so stay tuned for it), I would also like to nitpick Soman's obvious lack of thought when it comes to the characters that have departed (mainly Callis and Lady Lesso and August Sader) and how it should have affected the characters (mainly Sophie and Agatha)

How Chaddick and Yara could have helped the storyline better

WARNING: I realized while writing this that I kinda made Chaddick and Yara more flawed than they are writen because I have to think about their character growth and they can't have that without having any flaws. So expect some more drama with these two than needed as I share my thoughts on how their characters could have went. They get better in the end believe me.

So I think that everyone in the fandom is one with the idea that Chaddick's death was one of the MOST worst decisions that Soman made.

As @agathasarmy said it once, Chaddick's death is more frustrating than sad because of how out of nowhere it is.

Via @agathasarmy:

but… Chaddick??? dying??? IN THE BEGINNING OF THE SERIES????

IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE, AND THE ONLY WAY IT MAKE SENSE IS COS SOMAN OBVIOUSLY DID IT TO INTRODUCE RHIAN AND THATS THE SHITTIEST THING ABOUT IT

HE REDUCED CHADDICK’S DEATH AS A PLOT DOOR WITHOUT PROPERLY SUBSTANTIATING CHADDICK’S CHARACTER FIRST SO INSTEAD OF US TRULY MOURNING HIS LIFE WE’RE JUST LEFT WITH THIS HOLLOW FEELING OF WHAT HE COULD’VE BEEN AS AN INTEGRAL CHARACTER TO THE PLOT

THIS

Chaddick's death felt hollow because it was a PLOT DEVICE. It didn't (or at least Soman didn't) conscider Chaddick much of a character but a means and once this happens some deaths can be very very hollow.

Like his POV chapter was very hard to read all because especially once you find out that he's dead by the end of it (SHAME SOMAN, SHAME) because his story and plot had so much potential. We weren't able to properly feel sad about his lost because we didn't get to know him better.

It just feels tragic. So much potential lost, all because Soman wanted Tedros to feel vulnerable because he lost his close friend.

WHICH SOMAN DIDN'T REALLY NEED TO DO

I explained already why this is bull and I'm gonna explain later what could have happened for Chaddick's character.

But in summary on why Soman didn't need to do it: EXPECTATIONS

Chaddick and Tedros would have been stressed out with all the expectations and comparison with Arthur and Lancelot. One wrong move could have broke them apart easily.

But Soman could have also not wanted to deal with Chaddick against his Sophie obssession so there could be that too.

SHAME SOMAN

Now, Yara.

Our little Soft Girl

She should not have died.

She really shouldn't have

W h y ?

Because her being alive would have impacted the story more than her death ever did. Just like Chaddick.

And if the problem was what she could have affected in the storyline in TLEA, then she could have been on the sides like. . . as Tristan from time to time or something.

Her being alive would have not affected or change TLEA at all. Like if more important characters like the Coven and the League can fade into the background then so could she.

But I really don't imagine her being in the school for New Evil with Aric as Dean. No, maybe Yuba could have hidden her with the League and she could have accompanied Princess Uma when they were getting Tedros and Agatha and then accompanied the Leuge or something.

Really it would have been that simple. C'mon.

Plus Kiko has been reduced to wreck after that. At least, with Yara being alive she could have fixed herself a bit more.

Okay

So in summary again: CHADDICK AND YARA SHOULD NOT HAVE DIED AND SHAME ON SOMAN FOR KILLING THEM OFF

Now, let's get to the juicier part, what could these two have contributed to the TCY storyline.

On Chaddick

It's pretty obvious what Chaddick's role should have been. He should have been important to the plot because his role would have been about breaking the comparison between the Past and the Present (see Soman, it could have been integrated into your canon plot) between him, Tedros, and Agatha to Lancelot, Arthur, and Gwen.

I'm pretty sure that Camelot has its eyes on these three.

It's pretty freaking convenient that they all have a predecessor to be compared to. And I'm pretty sure that it's not just Camelot who notices the pattern. I mean the whole freaking Woods read about this affair.

So Chaddick, along with Tedros and Agatha, should have been the ones that break this chain. It could have symbolized that Camelot was entering into a new, better era after a similar relationship broke it.

Like, a King, his beloved Queen and his most trusted Knight brought hope but ended in a Tragedy.

Now, another King, his beloved Queen and his most trusted Knight are skeptically judged for having the same pattern and they instead bring the Glory that first trio didn't

With Tedros, Agatha, and Chaddick united with each other bringing Camelot out of its traumatic experience with Tedros's parents, Camelot finally accepting that these three are not the same as Arthur, Gwen, and Lance and fully supporting them DESPITE the fear, would have been a much stronger message of that 'the past doesn't always repeat itself.'

Because with Rhian being known and most propably remembered as Tedros's most trusted Knight and betraying him in the end, it's like a copy of what Lance technically did to Arthur.

It just further proved that Camelot's King would always be betrayed by the ones they trust most.

Sadly for Arthur, he was betrayed by both Gwen and Lance and they left him alone.

While Tedros still has Agatha but without Chaddick the lesson simply is not learned.

Chaddick was integral to this formula because Camelot would have had to face yet another propable tragedy for their beloved King in the hands of the people he loves. With Tedros, Agatha, and Chaddick, complete, proving that they could do better despite having just a strong a bond as what Arthur and co had and Camelot accepting and trsuting this, the previous wounds would be replaced with new Hope.

Because even if that whole affair happened and ruined the Kingdom, at least they have proof that it's not always gonna happen that way.

And that's why Rhian being remembered as Tedros's Knight hurts this idea. Cause he betrayed him too.

Anyway, hopefully I made my point with this legacy thing.

Plus Chaddick and Arthur's Round Table training him. WHY SOMAN WHY?!?!?!

And now, imma explain what I think should have happened with Chaddick and how his character development and his role should have played out.

Because Chaddick is a pretty well rounded character, his POV chapter proves that he's brave, and is willing to die for his friends and what's right, and there isn't really much flaws to him aside from that he can sometimes make the most worst decisions despite being pretty wise.

I honestly cannot tell if he is stupid sometimes or Soman just does this to him cause PLOT.

Fandom I need help with this. Give me some opinions.

Like. . . he's wise enough to know what was right, examples being warning Tedros about Sophie and the first to listen to Agatha in AWWP, but also dumb or ignorant enough to bully Agatha in Book 1 and that VERY IMPORTANT THING ABOUT completely ABUSING Tedros is AWWP.

Like I'm kinda confused with him.

Well maybe we can say that he's a bit ignorant and maybe was raised with privilege so that's why he bullied Agatha in Book 1 and kinda wisened up in Book 2 about her.

But I am not excusing his attitude towards Tedros in AWWP because that was messed up. Well, AWWP was messed up so there is that but if we have to acknowledge that mess and have some closure then I vote for it to come from Chaddick and Yara.

Like maybe the reason why Chaddick is more wise now is because of that very experience. Maybe he could still be a bit guilty about it and that kinda messes with his mind cause he still thinks that Tedros is still the same boy those years ago in their second year and Rhian uses this to his advantage.

Actually, thinking about it this makes so much sense.

Like instead of AGATHA having the trust issues (thought I wouldn't completely vanish it, just not at the same level as she does in canon) it's CHADDICK that has them. Cause he's always kinda gets haunted by what happened in AWWP.

I mean Tedros replaced him with ARIC of all people when he failed to retrieve Agatha. There has to be some animosity between them since. I can imagine that Chaddick kinda felt like him and Tedros could never be as close as when they were during their first year. And he would totally understand it if Tedros never really forgave him for what happened and was at peace with it even if he didn't have enough guts to find a closure for it. He'd respect his friend first and foremost.

But then comes Tedros, all fine and inviting him to be his Knight like that would mess Chaddick up.

He propably couldn't believe it at first and maybe even kindly refused the offer at first but then he sees the heart break in Tedros's face and Chaddick realizes that Tedros really wanted this.

Tedros still sees Chaddick as his closest friend despite what happened in AWWP. And maybe after some thinking, Chaddick realizes that he still wants to have the bond with Tedros like what they had in Book 1. So he accepts.

But of course, they've changed and Chaddick still gets eaten by guilt because I think that he's the kind of person that knows that he did something wrong and wants to repent for it.

So instead of that wise friend that Tedros had in Book 1, Chaddick can't trust his judgement about Tedros because he's scared he'd go too far. So he kinda just agrees to Tedros's ideas and doesn't really give advice. Tedros kinda notices this and tries to talk to Chaddick about it but Chaddick would be all formal to him. Tedros, I don't really know, would think that it would be for his sake with the comparison with Arthur and Lance and all. So he kinda just goes along with it.

It's messy right now guys, I know, I'm kinda butchering Chaddick's character here but I promise it gets better and in my mind he'd be like this for only Book 4. He'd be Wise Chaddick again right after. Just give me a chance to explain.

So they have this kind of miscommunication thing that Canon Tagatha had in QfG instead and that would have made so much more sense and here's why;

Warning: this is officially where the Tagatha interlude starts so if you wanna skip it (why though???) find the sign that states it's the end. It's gonna be in pink too.

The fact that Tagatha was having a miscommunication failure was kinda off with me because 1) they've been over this in AWWP and TLEA. In TLEA Tedros has absolutely no problem with pushing Agatha to share more when she wouldn't and 2) he could easily read her like a book, especially when it counts. Like he could get her favorite food wrong but he always seemed to know what Agatha was having trouble with and was there to help her out and is not afraid to call her out on it (i.e. the Cinderella thing, he was on point there)

Imma provide some examples of Tedros totally getting Agatha when it counts;

AND THIS

AND THIS TOO

WAIT THERE IS MORE (The Tagatha Moment)

AND LET US NOT FORGET

THIS IS WHY TLEA TAGATHA WILL ALWAYS BE BEST TAGATHA.

I get that Agatha's insecure about herself and maybe she was kinda influenced with the Excalibur thing (but I highly doubt it though) but it's no reason for her to get to the conclusion she did at the end of QfG.

I mean girl, you were always thinking that Tedros would be a Great King in TLEA and that's why you've been so insecure about yourself. WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT???

Someone call me out on this PLEASE. I'm hurting myself by judging her too hard.

I can imagine that she would be sceptical with Tedros's ideas and kinda doubting him about it (you guys have no idea how much it hurts typing this) but I can also imagine that she would never doubt that Tedros's heart is in the right place even if she thinks that the way he gets there isn't always the best.

Like we have literal proof that Tedros gets Agatha almost like Sophie does and the best thing is that I'm sure that Tedros would think of the best in mind.

The mess in QfG makes no sense because they should be over this miscommunication bs and it should not have been a thing.

And if it was because of the stress with Excalibur and his responsibilities as King that made Tedros suddenly not get Agatha then WTF Soman!?!?!? I did not ask for this. They were literally about to die in TLEA and yet they could still joke and tease each other and have these cute little scenes with the other.

Instead I got Rhian's b*tch ass being Tedros's therapists when he knows sh*t about this boy and Agatha doubting Tedros like he did something horrible. (Well he did for trusting Rhian but i digress)

I could have had more of these cute Tagatha scenes instead. Like, is it too much to ask for these two to just show their love for each other in other ways than "I will save you" and "You're the best thing ever and I don't want to lose you for this horrible thing that I did or say" like give me small softer moments anytime.

Tedros gently teasing Agatha when she's being difficult and Agatha being totally trying not to show that she's smitten over it.

Agatha trying to be romantic at the most outrageous moments and Tedros being like "?????" but totally finding it cute.

Other character just not getting these two when they do and they are just as confused.

These are the kind of scenes I wanted from them. And if I have to use Chaddick to get it then so be it. (I'm sorry about this, I'm mostly projecting at this point and these really affecting my personal opinions on this matter but I'll try to tone it down a bit so that it's still coherent)

Note: this is the official end of the Tagatha interlude but i'm not keeping any promises that it'll be the last

Anyways, Chaddick and Tedros, they have more reasons with having communication problems because;

They have not been together for a very long time and they've both propably changed since

AWWP. So far, the two of them have had horrible experiences as the last thing that they remember about each other.

As I explained, I headcanon that Chaddick has a somewhat formed a sort of PSTD with it and is very scared that he's gonna mess it up.

I'm not even going to try to explain the PSTD thing cause I feel like I'm not gonna do it justice but I hope you get what I mean.

Chaddick must have become more unsure of himself after AWWP and he must still be trying to fit this new Tedros with the old one that he used to hang out with in Book 1. It would have been a good comparison to show that Tedros has indeed change and grown since then.

Like Chaddick kinda feels like he needs to intervene when Tedros shares a very outrageous suggestion but doesn't know how and kinda ends up in a mess.

Basically imagine Tagatha's problems in QfG and apply to Tedros and Chaddick instead.

And Chaddick would have been suspiscious about Rhian from the beginning. He's a smart savy guy afterall.

So Rhian kinda exploits this and gets the two boys against each other. Because say that Tedros and Chaddick have this big fight propably like the one when Agatha comments that Tedros was being a horrible king but Chaddick's the one that said it instead. Say that this happens around the middle of the Book and it's the final straw between them because they haven't been properly communicating and all the pressure on them. Rhian could easily worm his way to Tedros's side and replace Chaddick nicely. Cause unlile Chaddick, Rhian would make Tedros believe that HE'S the one that believes in him the most.

So they kinda fall apart and Chaddick and Tedros are trying to understand where it all went wrong.

Agatha would try to understand each side and get them to better terms again but she can't do it alone plus a-hole Rhian is butting in.

I imagine that, for me, the logical person that Chaddick might approach on his dilema with Tedros might be Ravan.

Cause the two of them basically think the same way and are usually calm and wise. The only difference would be that Chaddick's more active while Ravan's more passive and choses to observe before making a move. So he calms Chaddick down when he's being too impatient.

Chaddick and Agatha would be talking of course. And I don't know why but I imagine that they're more numb to all the gossip about the three of them especially around each other because they're both sort of level headed and wise then when they're with Tedros individually.

And I imagine this is where the Tagatha drama happens. Only after Rhian cause I wanna be clear that without him, Tagatha would have been fine. He also tries to break them up by saying that Agatha sides with Chaddick and that she doesn't have much faith in Tedros too.

Agatha's going to deny this of course (because it's all bs from Rhian) but Tedros has been too stressed and vulnerable that he sorta starts to believe it and Agatha gets frustrated that Tedros is choosing to believe Rhian when she's known him longer and after everything that they've been through.

But Tedros isn't fully under Rhian's spell. I would have put several times when they would doubt each other especially when Rhian talks crap about Agatha and Chaddick and it would be beserk button for Tedros so Rhian doesn't really go there.

Now Chaddick would be having his little personal battle with himself and Ravan and Agatha would be there to support him and give some advice.

The real kicker would have been when Rhian is adored by Camelot as Tedros's Treasured Knight, someone better than Lancelot and Chaddick kinda has a heartbreaking moment because HE'S supposed to be the one that was known as Tedros's Treasured Knight not this stranger. Not this stranger that stole everything from him especially his best friend.

Agatha hears about this and reflects the time when she gave up her own position as Tedros's queen in TLEA and remembers that Tedros knows her and all her monsters and has been the light to help her fight them.

So she and Chaddick have this talk and she tries to concinve him that Tedros wouldn't want for Chaddick to just give up on him like that. Chaddick thinks about it but is still not completely convinced but Agatha reminds him that Tedros CHOOSE HIM to be his Knight and Liege and they both have to fight for it.

It's Ravan who finally manages to get Chaddick to gear when he asks Chaddick if he's going to regret anything he should choose to either regret letting Tedros go and not fighting for their friendship or make a complete idiot of himself but fight for their friendship instead.

So Chaddick does the latter but everything is too late and the Rhian thing happens as I explained in the first Rants and Remakes post and Chaddick gets tossed into jail with Tedros.

It's in book 5 that I imagine their relationship actually starts to heal itself and they both try to get through everything. I haven't thought of all the kinks out yet but I imagine a lot of fights and Chaddick just kinda shouting what he thinks before he startsvthe regret it and Tedros being this physic and just getting Chaddick too like how he does Agatha.

Again, I haven't thought of everything yet but I'll share it when I do

Now let's move on to Yara

On Yara

Yara would have been more influencial alive then dead and I already explained why how she could have been handled in TLEA cause where I really see exploiting her is in the storyline of TCY.

With the Balance vs Chaos in mind as well as the Lady of the Lake villainess plotline, Yara could have been the answer to this.

She'd be a living reminder of everything that all the characters went through in AWWP and how horribly toxic it is to everyone. Especially those like Yara who lives in the between.

Like with the Lady plotline she would have promoted ultimate purity for both Good and Evil and doesn't believe that each side could be able to understand each other so she thinks that she's promoting Balance that way and that letting each side corrupt the other is Chaos.

She would have believed that Yara is an abomination to the Balance because she is the embodiment of the idea that you can choose some charcteristic from two sides and still be yourself.

Plus with Yara alive the other characters would be forced to rethink their ideals and how to approach this new possibility and reflect on the old ways that have been hurting the ones that are similar to her.

I imagine that Yara's gonna have an internal struggle with this like she's still trying to understand it herself and as she tries to understand it the more that the other characters do as well.

I haven't actually thought out her actual detailed storyline just yet and even though I wanna say more I know that I might butcher her character as I go on but I definitely know her importance to the possible story.

As I explained before, if in TSY was Good VS Evil and that the TCY was about Good AND Evil and how both sides need each other to grow and develop and that the importance of the School still teaching Good and Evil in its most purest form is so that they'd all have a guideline to go by but the curriculum has become more flexible with their beliefs OF Good and Evil and that every student just have shades of grey but choses to go by these either of the two and can still be a Hero or a Villain then Yara could have been the right person to show that it doesn't matter if your not completely on one side and was given the characteristics of the other, it matters what values you choose to follow despite it and how tou choose to use it to help everyone else for the better.

Cause it's canon already that it doesn't matter what they are, it's what they do that counts.

NGL I'm not completely satisfied with how I explained Chaddick and Yara I feel like I didn't do them justice here and I will definitely get back to this when I have organized and fleshed out my thoughts on them

Anyways, if you guys would like to add your own thoughts to this post pls do.

#tedros #agatha #sge #sfgae #tsfgae #the school for good and evil #school for good and evil #soman chainani #chaddick of foxwood #chaddick #yara of avalon towers #tristan of avalon towers #tagatha #agatha of woods beyond #agatha of camelot #tedros of camelot #I personally feel like this was messy and not as detailed as the rest #sorry guys but gonna do them justice #once i've fixed my thoughts m

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stardustaubade · 5 years

Text

Heal

It looks a lot like rain, seeing the storm behind his eyes. Sirius quietly stops by the window of their small cottage. The sound of waves crashing down on the shore brings a strange sense of melancholy, like it's been raining for months inside his chest and it's sore. Sirius just wants to cry.

Instead, he pulls out a cigarette from the back pocket of his worn-out jeans and sits on the back porch.

The November sun hangs low, with unbelievable slowness. Sirius takes a deep breath, reminding himself that the War is over. He has come back to life, to Remus. Still, it feels so strange here, like he's living in a borrowed timeline, like it's someone else's life he's living. A salty breeze comes by, a comforting quietness, cold but not as hollowing as the air of Azkaban. Or maybe he's just good at pretending to be warm these days.

"Something is in your mind." ,Remus sits beside him, his honey-warm eyes fixed on the horizon, setting two mugs of tea in the small gap between them. Sirius smashes the butt of the cigarette, and taking up the mug, looks at his lover. Sirius watches him running his scarred fingers on the rim of the mug, eyes still fixed on the horizon, the dusk catching his greyish auburn hair. Remus has always carried sunsets and departure in his eyes. Sirius thinks how there are memories of people, of pain, of cities in Remus' eyes that he wasn't a part of.

He runs hands over his face, as if to wipe the trace of his thoughts.

It's the first anniversary of his return from beyond the Veil.

It just feels odd, living and all. Like he's interrupted everyone's life around, has borrowed time from their lives and duration on earth, like he has wreaked havoc.

Again, when Sirius Black hasn't wreaked havoc?

Maybe it's just wrong, living in Remus' clothes and in his life. All borrowed, without a trace of his own existence. The War is over. Still he trembles in his sleep, the horror of seeing James and Lily dead, the memory of the chilly gust of the sea of Azkaban sends shivers down his spine. Nightmares keep him awake. It's Remus, it's always Remus, saying soothing things in his hoarse sleepy voice, assuring how everything is going to be okay.

Except, both of them know how it's probably never gonna be so.

Their togetherness has been strange, ragged, almost like a routine. It had been a year when Sirius appeared on Remus' doorstep, only to find his hollow pained eyes, almost paranoid. A whisper of "I thought you were dead", choked sob on each other's neck and they fell back into a pattern.

Sirius closes his eyes, inhaling the colours of the sunset and sand, imagining how Remus looks in this particular time. Sunset Remus has always been special to him. Some eighteen years ago, a streak of sunset colour on Remus' face hit him. Looking down at his best friend while flying, Sirius, torn between panic and an overwhelming sense of adoration for the boy sitting on the bleachers, realized that he would give away his everything for Remus' happiness.

"Let's take a stroll.'' Remus stands up, holding out his hand for Sirius.

The sunset today is a symphony of painful memories and bittersweet laughter, Sirius thinks. He thinks how effortlessly he used to say Remus "I love you" before the War and how they have been habituated in death and betrayal and disaster and going away and never returning to each other that even after all these years, he sits with a book and looks blankly at the words and the gaps in between when Remus goes to do groceries, waiting for him to return. He wants to tell Remus how much he loves him and Remus deserves better, someone whole, someone like Nymphadora, but he wants him to stay. Stay to make me forget. Stay to make me remember. He'll stay, probably. At least, that sleepy voice, holding him close to his chest, in every nightmare, those books strewn over the kitchen counter, windowsill, the towel in their bathroom, the stupid grey jumper on their bed say so. In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish.

Sirius still wants to apologize to Remus.

Instead, looking at the sun melting into the horizon and kissing the sea, he whispers, "It's always the rain. I wake up every night, thinking it's Harry or you crying but it's rain, it's always rain."

Remus doesn't say anything, instead stares at the sea, maybe hides tears. He just entwines their fingers with a firmness of assurance, of staying, a gesture that says, "I'm here. We're here. We can't fix everything but we've got each other." The gentleness of Remus' language traces Sirius back to their childhood, the shared pains and sad smiles, those sleepless nights in their dorm, the grey cloud of smoke at the attic of Remus' parents' house, the happy frames of their togetherness on the wall of their flat, an echo of an echo of an echo, coming back and staying like the circle on the still water surface.

He inhales deeply, steadying himself, "I'm always that unhappy Prince we read about in fairytales, Remus. Rain always suffocated me." Sirius sniffles "When I left Grimmauld Place forever, leaving Reg behind, it was raining." Sirius pauses, as if to draw words out of the silence and the gap between them and the horizon and the sun, never leaving, never leaving.

"It rained the day you left our flat," Sirius whispers, looking at his feet. The lilt of his voice sounds almost shattered, his voice thick with emotion and tears. Remus knows, he's so fluent in Sirius' language, the way his aristocratic accent gets sharper when he gets pissed off, the way his eyes get shrewd with every passing disdain he throws, the self-deprecating shit and the way he carelessly holds the bottle of Ogden's firewhiskey. Sirius Black is like a candle in a steady summer night who shouts and cries and fights and hugs and punches and curses and kisses until he can't do anything anymore, he just burns himself to the core without a quiver.

"Sirius.."

"I'm so tired Remus. I'm so tired of thinking I'm living a borrowed life and of feeling sorry for myself.” He breathes heavily, tears stinging his eyes; his chest aches, looking at the man in front of him, the man he loved, the man he loves, a surge of self-pity washes over him. "I don't know, I try to think about what happened at the Veil and I feel like I'm losing my grip on the present… fuck Remus, I feel like I'll lose you all over again…"

"Sirius..." Remus whispers, standing almost toe to toe with Sirius. There are times when he feels like shouting at Sirius, or being shouted at, because it's better than a fucking silent Sirius by the window, a forgotten cigarette dangling between his fingers, he just looks at the book or the sea or the wall or the vacuum of nothingness and Remus wants to cry and kiss and shout and punch until Sirius reacts. But here he is, standing in front of him, shattered, crying. He wraps his arms around Sirius, and he buries his face in the crook of Remus' neck, his breath relatively slow, his shoulders slumped, and his tears wet Remus' jumper near the shoulders and Remus let him cry and cry and cry until he feels the warmth of his lover, his home inside his chest. Remus holds him closer and whispers, almost inaudibly, "I love you."

Sirius doesn't say it back, just holds the material of the jumper near Remus' back tighter.

Remus looks at the orange and blue and violet hue of the departed dusk, just above the horizon.

He knows Sirius loves him.

That's enough for now.

Thank you @jennandblitz for being such an amazing beta. I love you.

@aimforthedogstar @of-stars-and-moon @confunded-gryffindor @blitheringmcgonagall

#remus lupin #remus x sirius #sirius black #sirius x remus #wolfstar #after the second war #of course they lived #everythings wolfstar #wolfstar angst

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in-the-words-of-camp-campbell · 7 years

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But- where is Camp Campbell?! California or New York?! The one in California feels like the real one, I can't say much for the NY one cause we don't know the activities! Then who's David Campbell?! I'm starting to lean towards NY now cause of the sleepy hollow thing. I'm so confused.

Welp, I’m not sure why I’m being asked this but,I’m confused myself but, I have some theories [NOTE: I might have put a little too much thought into this, today I had a LOTTTT of time on my hands. Even did some crazy research for this, watched some eps again. I LEGIT HAVE NOTHING TO DO TODAY OTHERWISE, THIS RESPONSE WOULDN’T HAVE MUCH TO IT] In order to make these theories work we must forget some logic for a second and expand our imaginations. [Like this loser, a.k.a mod did.] Or not, all up to you:

David Campbell:

We all know how awful Cameron Campbell is: From using Space Kid as a shield

Doing anything for a buck (even if it involves the fate of the camp and campers)

He almost murdered a camper to protect his ass:

HECK! Even using David to cover things up for him, and David’s been loyal

My thoughts on this are:

He is secretly betraying David. Or at a point he did. He might have put his own information and maybe some of David’s description wise or maybe David’s address, only changed his first name to David. So he would be safe and David would be going to jail if David were to somehow run into the Feds. Making it look like they had the wrong person all along. OR this could have been done BEFORE the feds figured out what Cameron looked like and evidence that Cameron is indeed the man they’re looking for. Then ‘David Campbell’ is now nothing more than an imaginary person.

Or if we’re going with the so-called “real and logical” *mutters* totally boring and fake…. *end muttering* Just a guy, I have no clue who he is. That happens to live in New York! David Campbell if you see this, I’m sorry for saying where you live state wise. You randomly popped up on google when I was searching for Camp Campbell with that wide open. :P

Now, the second question:The Truth a.k.a Where is Camp Campbell REALLY Located?!

1: Why it might be in New York:

As stated before: The Camp Campbell located in New York is located on Sleepy Hollow Lake.Sleepy HollowSleepy Peak.

David. Freaking. Campbell.From NEW YORK!Look at first theory at top for my logic on that, cause I won’t explain again! [and maybe David could be from NY too? D:]

The platypus isn’t native to California. They’re not even native to North America. However, some people have claimed to see some in the northeast. They are most likely people’s pets that got loose or were let it free. He could have got some eggs imported into the US since he mentioned at the end of season 2 episode 5 that they’re going to incubate platypus eggs. It is illegal to own a platypus as a pet in the U.S.

This is stereotyping but, from some lists Ive seen that have ‘most popular sleepaway camps’ [note: I could be wrong since I’m basing it a lot of INTERNET findings but on what’s most common. A lot of these lists could very well be bias] a lot of popular sleep away camps that are deep in the woods that have the traditional summer camp experience: Nature hikes, surrvival skills, campfires, just strictly natureish or all that along the lines of that. Are located in Northern states. Northeast in particular. [most of them are located in New Hampshire but, most of the other camps from NY seem to pop up second or thrid on a lot of these lists, when you weed out the specialty camps.]

Yes, Camp Campbell might be very diverse now but, not only is it implied from Season 1, Episode 1: Escape from Camp Campbell that it wasn’t the same years back. As Cameron said:“Kids, I’m going be blunt and honest with you. When I opened Camp Campbell all those years ago, I had one goal, and one goal only. To create the most popular and successful summer camp in the world! But times have changed. Things like the internet, video games, and the Affordable Care Act are ruining this great country of ours- and the children of today aren’t interested in a traditional summer camp. But America isn’t a traditional country! So why settle for anything less!”It implies that he changed it to adapt. [and get more money of course]. There is also proof of it being a ‘traditional summer camp’ in the flashback in Season 2 Episode 5: Jasper Dies At the end, when David was telling his story on how he fell in love with Camp Campbell.

I’m from New York State [this one is looking too deeply into this] but Max said in the first episode that the bus comes in from ‘The city.’ to pick up campers. Sure it can mean ANY city but, it’s not specified which city. In New York, or most places in New York state. If people say ‘the city’ not saying any name, just ‘the city’ they mean New York City. [especially if they’re not in the city]

I’ve seen some head canons floating around lately [from a lot of people] about a few of the characters living in New York [not just the city] and claiming to have seen moments that in the show that back this up. [don’t ask me about it for, I never really looked to see where everyone is from. But, totally open to all these ideas.] The most common characters mentioned are:1. Max. [I’ve also read quite a few fanfictions that focus on Max outside of camp and even some AUs and a common thing that pops up is he lives somewhere in New York. Some say city, some say some places a little farther up ]2. Preston being from New York City.3. Gwen might have lived in NYC at some point but, this was foiled for most when Season 2 Episode 8: Gwen Gets A Job, came along.4. Neil [no specific area this one seems to be fairly new and popped up after Parent’s Day came out]5. Harrison is from somewhere in New York State as well.To be honest, the only character that makes sense to me right now being from New York is Preston.Sure, we all know that’s fanon. and it’s only five of the characters. Plus, at summer camp people come from all over the place, not just the state the camp is in. [People have been saying David might be from Canada. Which, is a pretty good head canon] But seeing this ‘trend’ pop up, it might lead to something.

2. Why it might be in California:

When you look at the lists of great sleep away camps, [once again, weed out all the specialty camps] there are quite a few in California. [More are still in NY and other places in the Northeast though]

I’ve been looking up history for that camp. It may have been around since 1884, BUT it had quite a few owners and went through MANY different name changes. Cameron might have bought it at a point to see if he could make a quick buck out of it then obviously, named it after himself.

And I agree with you anon. The one in California is pretty close to Camp Campbell in the series, since it seems to offer almost everything. Even WEDDINGS! And camps for all ages. Seems like the ultimate camp to me! And we know squat about the one in New York.

Nikki and Neil are two of the main characters:-Nikki signed up for Adventure Camp-Neil signed up for Science CampAccording to most of the reviews [real ones, not the joke ones on google] and some videos the camp itself put up; Adventure Camp and Science Camp are two of the most popular camps they offer.

A review of a kid that signed up for science camp said they did archery there. Camp Campbell in the series overlaps on activities. You sign up for one, you end up doing them all.

And last but not least,My third and final theory…Cameron own/ed more than one camp. BOTH CAMPS ARE CAMP CAMPBELL!

Why? Let’s look at the evidence that my mind might have seen too much:

1. Cameron’s rich. How the heck did he get rich? It’s obviously not from Camp Campbell alone [or the one the campers are in] or even being a con artist.

ONE of his camps might be doing better than the other one. Due to how popular it was, he was somehow able to get more people willing to work there and with more people, it’s easier to keep it clean and prevent it from falling apart.

He saves money by not bothering to repair the other camp that’s falling apart, which somehow happens to be the first camp he opened [though to get money out of it, he added on different camps to be on point with the other one]

2. He’s gone most of the time:

trying to hide from the feds

While on the run, he might be visiting his other summer camp. But, he visits it, just as much as he visits the other camp. Very rare.

He stopped caring about the other camp that was becoming less popular

3. This one does tie into the reason he’s rich. He was losing money, and by how cheap he is, felt it was expensive to keep both camps and wanted to avoid some rules and regulations. Someone offered him a lot of money for one of them so, he took it. But, that camp decided to keep the name.

And that, is my theory. It’s long, put too much thought into it but… Here you go! : )

–

Edited: I made a mistake on where Roosterteeth is located, I got a bit confused,

#Camp Camp #David CC #Cameron Campbell #cameron cc #camp campbell

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feynites · 7 years

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have you ever heard of the elysian fields (or Elysium)? it's a kind of Greek heaven where you could 'live' how you pleased and do what you wanted. I believe you could also make it look how you wanted to and create your own paradise. (i hope i'm not being too bold here but) would you write a story based around a girl who found paradise in a forest? I'm not much of a writer but it's an idea i can't get rid of. sorry to bother you, don't worry if it doesn't interest you i just thought i'd ask ^-^ x

Now, here is the trick to mortal man’s mind:

It cannot abide a paradise.

A god is a long and lonely thing. Like mountains, their kindhave been there since long before ours; and like mountains, before us, they hadno names. Mortals are but whispers to their ears. Breezes and fleetingdaydreams, our passions and pains, insults and even worship are beneath theirnotice, contrary to what we ourselves might claim. The mountain does not carethat it has a name.

But it should.

Because the mortal mind cannot abide a paradise. A paradiseis endless beauty. It is the power and untouchability of the gods. Safety,plentitude, and eternity.

Ask your ancestors, who lived but the blink of a god’s eyeago, what paradise was shaped like. They might tell you, honeyed fruit andcomfortable shade, sweet ocean winds, and soft places to rest their heads.Bodies that do not tire, or grow ill, and endless summer days in which tofrolic and play and delight in one another’s company.

How soon the mortal mind grows bored with its success. Howeasily the first paradises began to fail. The minds of mortals are written upontheir souls. Sweet fruit. Cool shade. Long days.

Days upon days upon days, until the taste of the fruit wasunwelcome, and the complacency of the shade grew dull, and the endlessdiversions of athleticism and play no longer seemed endless. Give it enoughtime and all sweetness will sour, without change enough to renew it. The longertime draws on, the more change is needed. The harder it is to go back, torepeat, to remain.

Ask your grandparents what paradise looks like, and theymight tell you it is a garden. Or a golf course. Or a spa. It is eternity withloved ones, or even with countless diversions. But none of it would hold.

Paradise, in the mortal mind, in a mortal soul, can onlylive in a moment. That is why the mountain should care that it is has a name.Why the gods intimidate and appease and avoid, by turns, the children of thisgreen glass globe.

However old and unconcerned the mountain is – what mortalsname, they can destroy.

Gods are made for paradise. For eternity. Unchanging,delighting, and content in all they are. But mortal souls persist with mortalminds. And the gods are growing fearful, these days. For Elysium is empty, andthe heavens are being abandoned, and the torments of eternal punishment can,too, lose all meaning as they become simply dull and mundane. What mortalssouls in time can become, the gods themselves do not know.

But what we in life do to mountains, in death, we may well doto the gods.

You wake in a forest.

You don’t live in a forest. Didn’t live in a forest, anyway. Or near to one. You lived in acity. Glass and concrete, with plantlife confined in neat little rows, andlimited to gardens and small parks and the fancy hedges out in front ofwealthier homes. When you were younger, you had indulgent grandparents whowould take you to the city’s biggest park. You loved nothing more than goingthere. Losing yourself among the old trees, and their massive roots, andlistening to the peacocks cry, and the ocean strike the sea wall near the parkroads. Pointing out plants and birds and squirrels to your grandparents.Imagining what might live in the hollow of massive, old trees, and watchingsunlight fall through the canopy, and feeling small and young and surrounded bymany old and mysterious things.

But that was long ago. A memory of a moment of paradise,that somehow grew sweeter in your mind as the years passed, and yourgrandparents passed, and your world seemed to veer away from all the thingsthat delighted you. Into cold buildings and grey streets, schools you hated andpeople you hated even more. Bitterness came dressed in glass and stainlesssteel, and the shine of headlights, and erratic flicker of streetlamps.

There is none of that, when you wake.

Just forest.

Beautiful forest, deep and thick and far as the eye can see.You feel light. You move easily, and without the barest notion of pain. But youcan still feel things. The sunlight’s warmth on your skin, and the breezeblowing through your hair, and the soft mulch beneath your feet. The scent oflife is all around you. The sound of familiar and unfamiliar animals calling,and branches rustling, and some babbling brook passing unseen in the distance.There are trees around you as vast as skyscrapers; and others as small anddainty as flowers. Mushrooms, too, seem to come in all shapes and colours andsizes. There are flowers the unfurl as you walk past, and vines that hanginvitingly from branches that look more than sturdy enough to climb.

Paradise.

For a long time, you simply wander through it all. You knowthat you are dead. You would have that might distress you, once upon a time,and in a way you think that it does. But there is no immediacy to that distress. It exists like the knowledge at theback of your mind. That you are dead, and this is paradise, and there is nogoing back except by way of memory. You wander, and for a while you find onlyplants, and hear animals but do not see them. But then you find a nest ofbright-feathered birds, and watch them, too, as you settle into the hollowbetween a great tree’s roots, and watch the breeze blow leaves and feathersalike into soft whirls and currents.

You are very calm. Trauma has not followed you here. Youthink about your life, and hopes and dreams, and the people you left behind.You wonder if you can find your grandparents, and when you do, you know thatyou can. That they are out there, somewhere, in their own paradise; and it iseasy enough for them to find you, or for you to find them. Or anyone else youcare to, so long as you both wish for it. There are people who might try tofind you, dead souls who would look, but who you would not to see. And so theywill never find your paradise.

It would not really be paradise, if they could.

Instead they will find an image of you. An illusion of you,that they will never know is not real. The same is true of any of those whowould rather be without you, and the first moment of unease since your deathcomes to you, then. Because what if someone you love only ever sees you againas an illusion? What if you never have the chance to make amends? You left somethings unfinished. Many things, in fact. People you care about might hate you.People might never forgive you, and how would you even know?

You let it go, at length. It is hard not to, in this calmand beautiful place, which encourages a certain degree of contemplation. Evennow that you have met eternity, of a sort, you do not really still believe init. There is something in you that repels the notion. This may be the waythings are now, but ‘forever’ isstill too long for you to believe in. Things will change. Doors will open. Yoursituation will not last for always, and you can enjoy it, for now.

So, you do.

You wander your forest. And you find your grandparents, andothers, too. Old friends, and lost family, and companions. The cat you lovedlike nothing else when you were a child jumps down from the branches of one ofyour shady trees, and wanders through sweet-smelling flowers with you, andhelps you fish for motes of light in a nearby stream. The best friend you lostin highschool invites you to wander through the desert caves of her ownparadise, setting up crystals that refract the light into vivid shapes andimagines more beautiful than anything to have ever graced a cinema screen. You donot tire, but sometimes you rest for the pleasure of it. You do not knowthirst, or hunger, but sometimes you feel inclined to eat and drink anyway, totaste food or feel the bubbling trickle of soda pop on your tongue. There isalways enough for you, whatever you find yourself wanting.

And after a while, the forest begins to change. When youfind yourself wishing for caves like those of your friend’s paradise, you findone. And then another. Mossy and overgrown and different-looking – more likewhat you enjoy – but they have everything you might hope they would. Small,golden-furred monkeys help you gather up crystals, when the other souls youknow do not visit to do it, and you make art and play games and deviseever-more ways to delight yourself. You find treasures, and go on adventures,and sometimes you simply float down the waters of your stream, watchingbranches sway and listening to the whispers of knowing the come to you. That sometimes tell you whenever anothersoul you know has passed, or whenever something in your paradise has changed.

It takes you a long, long time. Longer than you think youcould have ever marked when you were alive.

But eventually, you begin to hate it.

You try many things to avoid that. It is not a pleasantfeeling. So you change the forest. You change yourself. You visit others, moreand more, and you conjure new things, as often as you can. You make up stories.Lovers and adventures and dramas that drag you at your own whims. You smashcrystals and burn trees and build towers only to, inevitably, tear them backdown again. You set paradise ablaze, and you know that in the blink of an eye itwill be perfectly fine again. Ready to be burned down again, to the objectionsof no one, unless you conjure up someone specifically to object.

And so, eventually, you simply burn it all to sand and dustand then darkness. You sit in the dark, and you know that this is nothing. Thatyou are nowhere.

A long time passes. Or, possibly, it does not. Time mattersas little as anything else. But after a while, you become aware of a sort oflight. Like a star, but, it has been a long time since you saw things the waythat you did when you were alive. A long time since you looked up at a nightsky, and felt small and young, and surrounded by things that were old andmysterious.

Below the edges of the star, there is a mountain.

You did not make it. The mountain is no one’s paradise. Andthough you search your thoughts, you find, somehow, that you do not know whatit is. Where it comes from, or what seeing it means. You think, and wonder, andwatch the light ripple at the edges of it. Is it even a mountain? No answerscome. You try to blot it out with the darkness, but you are not really seeing it. Nor the star above. They arenot things you are making; they are more… things you have somehow, now, realizedare there.

Where?

Elsewhere.

You pick yourself up, after a time. Pick yourself up, forwhatever is left of ‘you’, after all this. It has been a long time sinceanything really felt new, or strange, or beyond you. You try to move towardsthe mountain, but you find it is always the same distance away. In that elsewhere that is not paradise, that isnot a place you can reach. But you know you are not the only one moving towardsit. You can feel them. Others you’ve known, others you’ve loved, who have beensitting in their own darkness. Who had lost meaning for you, along witheverything else. But as you press forwards, insistent, searching, you rememberthat they are real.

That you are real.

The moment of paradise is done. However long it takes, now,you will move on. You will find the mountain. What then, you do not know. Butyou do not think it is anything you can understand as you are now.

And that is the most amazing relief you have ever felt.

#filled prompt #original writing #Anonymous

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