#i didnt do it but i heard it from my tent once | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

secret-smut-sideblog · 4 months

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A Dangerous Thing

Astarion x F! Dark Urge

18+ violence, possession, near death, implied self harm, bhaal being fucked up, injuries, fear, hurt/comfort, fingering (f!), oral (f!), sub/dom, (mild) restraint, overstimulation

Almost losing her to Bhaal's influence, Astarion wont let her out of his sight again...

In trance he becomes aware of an absence at his side, her divine warmth missing.

"Darling?" He mumbled, fingers searching for her. A breeze on his cheek.

Eyes flashing open to the chasm of his tent door.

Gone.

Scrambling to feet he lunged out into the night, eyes frantic.

It was getting bad, he knew. Saw the way she would freeze, muscles clenching all at once. Paralyzed as she fought for control.

Would do his best to touch her with love, speak reassured to her rigid body. Help her back into herself, though he didnt know how much good it was doing.

We're close. She had sighed. The temple is near, I can feel it. Shuddered. I feel it everywhere.

Fuck. Fuck. He ran tent to tent, looking for those pale horns, those haunting eyes.

He had gotten sloppy, losing focus. Gods why did she put him in charge?!

"Whoa, Fangs! What's going on?" Karlach called, already pulling her boots on seeing the panic in his face.

"She's gone! Hells we have to find her!" He shouted, hands shaking. Eyes everywhere, in every shadow, every space between.

"Shit!" She went to wake the others, sounding out like an alarm.

Finally he saw a sign of her. Sharp footsteps leading into the forest, the heels deep in the mud. She had been running.

No time, he sprinted after her ghost. Calling out her name in big gulping shouts. Heard the others following behind.

I think if I couldn't control it anymore. She had whispered, their hands intertwined. Laying in blissful quiet. I'd end it. Said with such certainty, eyes resolute. It would be my last offering for the world. To stop myself. To leave it untouched.

He couldn't lose her. Not now. Not when she has given him so much. Not before he can tell her he loves her one more time.

Gods let him have this, this one bright beautiful thing.

He gasped out her name when he spotted her silhouette in a clearing. Sitting on knees in the dark.

His voice curdled in his throat as he drew closer, took in the full sight.

Her arms laying limp at her side, face wrenched up to the sky. Bhaal's red lights dancing sickening circles around the crown of her head. Eyes blown wide, glowing red hot.

"Here!" He shouted shakenly to the others somewhere behind, hovering around her. "She's here!"

Terrified into indecision. Hands reaching out, he had to do something.

"Get out!" Her jaw clenching down so hard he thought it would crack. He jumped back, breath caught.

"You are not welcome here. You are not me. You are not in charge." She hissed through her teeth, speaking to something unseen, rage dripping from every word.

"I guided your hand when you spilled your first blood." A deep nauseating voice erupted from her mouth, forming words with her lips. "I have always been here. I am all of you. I am eternal."

Her face going slack into a sickening smile. "You will to say yes to me, child."

Eyes clenching shut, face twisting, pulling back into her mind. "Fuck. You." Her voice venomous.

Lifted invisible by her throat she hovered in the air, legs slack beneath her. Feet grazing the ground. Sigils burning and whipping angry around her.

"I love you." Lashes emerging across her torso. "I love you." Cracking of ribs. "I love you." Arm wrenched from socket, flopping down at her side.

"Stop," Astarion breathed, despair flooding his vision. "Stop, stop, stop!" A rising scream chanted.

Her head lolling puppeteered to look at him. Eyes wide, all radiating crimson. A horrible smile smeared across her angelic face.

"The interloper..." It sneered in her features, amused. "Tell me, little waste..." Turning her in one motion to face him, hovering far higher above the ground. Her full body weight on her throat. Yet it still it spoke.

"Do you really think you can stop her?" Leaning her head down to stare condescending into him. "How long do you think she will resist her call? To deny her birthright?"

"I molded her myself, my body, my blood. She will heed to me."

"You're just another master, another piece of shit that needs control. You dont impress me." He spat. "I've killed one of you before, and I'll enjoy doing it again."

It laughed, booming. Lifting her arms wide, sigils spinning hurricane around her.

He heard the others coming up hot behind him, a flurry of noise. Spells, arrows, enchantments soaring through the air. All hitting mute against the cyclone. It cackled, delighted at their attempts.

Suddenly she wrenched back to the surface, body twisting. "Get away! Go!" Her desperate eyes reaching his. "I can finish this!"

"No!" He bellowed, enraged. "Let us help you! For once let us be the strong ones!" Bloody tears streaming down his shouting face.

Her eyes crumpled at his words and something in the hold broke.

In a piercing wail she fought against her restraints, hair whipping around her head. Pulling her limbs with incredible force against its control. Balling into herself. Releasing them out in a deafening scream. An explosion of force leaving her, pushing them all to their knees.

Prone, he watched her fall. Thudding silent to the ground. "No, no," He begged, crawling to her unmoving body. "Dont leave. Dont leave me."

Cradling her head he stared through thick water. Searching. Desperate. Hands coaxing, pleading, for her to come back.

Shadowheart, Halsin, and Minthara appearing quick at her side, pummeling healing words into her. Lighting her up in waves of blue.

"You can't go. I wont let you." He gripped her as they shouted around him, his tears dropping onto her mottled bruised neck. "I will search every corner of the afterlife and drag you back to us."

Giving it everything she had Shadowheart shouted one last spell, her hands bracing against her still chest.

Silence. Then with a heaving, gasping cough she returned. Hand instinctively finding his cheek.

A deep wail left him, pulling her into him, inconsolable. Body shaking with great heaving sobs of relief.

"Ow." She laughed wetly. Good arm shakily holding him. Eyes bright, meeting the tear stained faces that surrounded them through the window of his shoulder. "Hi everyone."

They all rushed around her, touching her, hugging her, voices all melding into one joyful choir. Still gripping her to his body they held him too.

Karlach planting big kisses on her face. Even planting a quick softer one on his forehead. "Welcome back, soldier!" She boomed. "Dont ever do that shit again!" Yelled with the same smile.

She laughed painfully, clenching her side. "Fuck, okay. You've convinced me."

"We need to get her back to camp." Shadowheart gently squeezed Astarion's shoulder. He agreed but still had his face buried into her. Tremoring.

"Let me lend some aid." Halsin smiled, offering his arms. Waiting for Astarion to release.

Loathe to let her go but knew he wouldn't be able to carry her in this state he nodded.

The druid lifting her gently into his arms she was absent from him. She gave a little sigh into the wide chest. He trailed close, never taking his eyes off her.

She smiled gently at him, reaching out for him. Finding his fingers in hers. Gods, she was cold.

He kissed them, pressing them against his cheek.

"You're okay to sleep, love." She hushed, trailing her hand down his back. "I can get one of the others."

In her tent, made into a makeshift infirmary he shook his head. Only last night she had nearly been lost and his body was still vibrating with anxious energy. Trying not to pace.

"We've moved camp, we're far enough away from the temple now." She tried to reassure. He waved her away, back still turned.

Her hand stopped on his back. Quiet. Still.

"I'm sorry I'm the one you love." A whisper.

He whipped his head, angry. The tears on his face that he had been trying to hide from her laid bare.

"No. No you dont get to do that." Eyes alight in equal parts adoration and indignation. "I have been broken apart countless times and you are by far the best thing that has ever happened to me. The only person who could ever understand me."

Face twisting in grief, in determination. "I have waited lifetimes for you. How dare you apologize."

Catching the light her tears slipped quiet out of her eyes. Even in this state unbelievably beautiful, always catching him off guard. Neck still patches of green, purple, yellow. Arm slung snugly in a sling. One tip of her horns now notched, caught in her fall. He trailed his hand along it tenderly, never to be the same again.

"I'm sorry." She choked, hearing the heavy catch in her throat.

"Stop." He stared hard into her eyes.

"I'm so sorry."

He pulled her hard into his body. Burying his face in her hair. "I love you. I love you. I love you so much." He pressed his words into her.

"I will never regret you. I will never have something like this again. Even in a hundred years I will never stop thinking of you."

A sob wracked her chest, shaking into him. One arm gripping his shirt. Releasing her grief, her fear into his cool body.

He stroked her hair, wrapping his legs around her lower back. Pulling her fully into him. Yes, let it out.

They stayed like that for a moment, hands anchoring eachother. Her waves of sorrow striking his chest. Breathing in, out.

"When I die I'm haunting your ass so hard." She whispered raggedly, her tears finally slowing. He laughed, wiping his own wet face.

"I'd be offended if you didnt, my sweet."

Pulling back to look at him, eyes overflowing with love. "Ow, damn it." Readjusting her arm in its sling as she shifted. "How long did Shadowheart say this should take again?" She huffed. He tried to hide his smile.

"What's the point of healing magic if it doesn't get the job done..." Grumbling her frustration.

"Already thinking about the next task? Gods you're relentless." He teased.

"We have things to do!"

"Oh how could you possibly take a break, the torment you must endure." He admonished, trailing kisses along her face.

She giggled, the sound lighting up his heart. Caught her sweet mouth in a kiss. Slow. Deep.

She moaned lightly into him, hand cupping the back of his head. Pulling him in deeper.

He sighed contentedly, so glad to do this again. That they had more time. More time for him to get lost in her.

Her hand pulling the ties of his tunic.

"Wait," He breathed, to her discontented whine. Hand still trying to pull him open.

Threading his fingers in hers, he pulled away. "My sweet, slow down." Took her eyes in his. Her mouth slightly swollen from their kiss making him stifle a groan, despite himself.

"You're in no state-"

"Then be gentle." She countered.

"Darling..." He started, unsure.

"Please," She whispered, pushing her forehead into his. Threaded fingers tightening on his. "I need you, I need this."

Gentle, he thought. Gods did he know how to fuck gentle? Had he? Maybe some time in the past, long before.

Could see the nervousness in her eyes as well, asked for entrance to her mind.

She obliged, and he found their thoughts mingling. Not the exact same, but rhyming. Fear. Longing. Love. Pain. Things lost. Things terrified to be found.

He smiled warmly, pulling her back into his kiss. I told you. He spoke to her.

What? She thought.

You and I know eachother. I see you, you see me. See me so clearly.

So is that a yes? Could feel her cheeky smile against his lips.

He sighed, defeated. Trying not to prove his rising arousal as she gave a little squeal of triumph.

Now, how to do this delicately. He pushed them forward, laying her down onto her back. Hand bracing her slow descent. Though he focused on undressing her as softly as he could, his kiss was searing.

Her hand pulled his shirt hard over his head, he maneuvered his arms to assist her. Her leg hooking up under his, pushing it out to be straddling over her.

"Oh so only I have to be gentle..."

"Do you want me to be?" She rumbled in his ear, sending a shudder down his spine.

"Gods no,"

Pulling the last of her clothes off he stared down at her, breath taken. Both by her beauty and the state of her body.

Criss cross slashes stretching across her torso, sewn deftly closed. Bruises that veiled over her ribs. Could see the discoloration between the tight bandages holding her shoulder.

Trying not to be overcome again, he leaned down, ghosting soft kisses over her angry skin.

"You'll tell me if we need to stop, yes?" He urged.

She smiled down at him, carding her fingers through his hair. "Of course, my love."

Satisfied he continued his feather light lips down her front.

"How are you so beautiful?" He marveled.

Delighted in the blush that crept up to her cheeks. To make a bhaalspawn blush, his bhaalspawn.

"Darling this position you've so graciously put me in gives me an idea." He mused, absentmindedly swirling little circles on her clit. One leg over her hip, one between her thighs. He stood up on knees, getting a better feel. Oh this could work.

"Good thing your lower extremities are unscathed, sweet thing." Grabbing a pillow he lifted her by one plush thigh and pushed it under her hips. Heard her little aroused groan at being manhandled. "Yes this will do nicely." He preened, now had the perfect angle.

"I never doubted you for a second." She tried for teasing but couldn't hide the lust in her voice.

His free hand dragging soft up and down her entrance, joining his fingers already worshipping her hard mound. Hands busy he had the perfect view to watch her unwind under him.

Her head fell back, arching slightly. Horns digging against the pillow.

He slowly inserted two digits into her, shallowly pumping. The angle perfect to go as far as he could, but not yet. Just teasing her entrance. Fingers on her clit pushing more force. Her little gasping breaths goading him on.

Started pushing inside her with earnest, fingers curling in the way he knew made her mewl. Hand on her clit feather light.

Alternating his force back and forth between his two hands he could tell he was driving her mad. Slick already dripping down under his fingers.

"Astarion," She groaned, hand gripping the sheet.

"I'm all pointy ears, darling." He teased, switching hands again just to make her gasp.

"Gods, please fuck me already." She panted, looking into his eyes.

"Ah, but we need to be careful." He purred, smiling like a fox cornering a hen. "Nothing too strenuous, you know. Gotta make sure you're-" Both hands with pressure, her eyes rolling back in her head. "Up to it." He finished.

"You know I can kill you, right?"

"Oh we're doing threats now," He hissed, smiling down over her. "How rude."

Both hands working in a blur she was an incoherent writhing mess. Hips trying to get away. He sat his weight on her side, pinning her there. "Oh come on now, I know you can take it."

He knew she was so close to being undone as he watched. Her hot panting groans getting more frantic, higher. Hips squirming helplessly under him.

Leaning over he looked into her eyes. "I want you to come all over my hand."

Her eyes went wide then squeezed shut. Face contorting in anguished pleasure. Clenching down hard on his fingers she wailed an esctastic cry. Hips jutting up into his body, hiking him up. Shocked by the strength of her.

Moving down quickly he pushed his mouth into her, tongue working rapidly. Taking up the pace of his fingers.

She almost screamed, hand gripping his hair.

Wrapping his arms around her retreating thighs he ravaged. Groaning into her, already so much creamy slick pushing out of her. All for him.

Already on the cusp of a second orgasm he watched her through her spread legs. Suckling down hard on her clit, merciless.

"Oh gods, oh fuck," She whimpered, head craning back. Pelvis shaking.

So perfect, you taste so sweet. He thought to her, connecting their minds. Honeysuckle... Groaning into her.

Her mouth falling open in a silent scream, eyes hitching. Seizing under his mouth, head lolling. Her body an arched bridge. Sharp talons leaving his hair and ripping into the sheet.

He palmed over her overstimulated core as she collapsed, knew his cool hand would bring relief. Kissing softly below her navel. Her body still trembling, breath regaining from the drown of her pleasure.

"If I wasnt already in the infirmary.." She breathed when she found her words again.

He laughed, sliding in next to her. Adjusting her slightly so he could slot under her. Wrapping his leg around her side, straddled behind her.

She fell back into his chest, already spent.

"Damn, maybe I'm not as ready as I thought I was." She laughed, threading her hand into his.

"Told you." He murmured into her hair. Pulling their joined hands to his lips.

She got quiet for a moment, knocking her head gently into his.

"I'm going to get better, I promise." Speaking on more than her injuries.

"I know, my sweet girl."

Part 5

#this one got away from me ngl #possession scene Heavily inspired by ptolemaea by ethel cain (lyrics from it too)#astarion smut #astarion x dark urge #astarion x tav

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pastanest · 1 year

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if you’re wondering why I’m having to repost this, or why you were perhaps previously following me but no longer are, please refer to this post. I was able to retrieve this thanks to @iamburdened - thanks so much for finding this fic especially, one of my all time favourites to have written!! ♡

Daryl Dixon x she/her!reader

spoilers: set in seasons 2 & 3

Trying

That night could have so easily never happened. If just one thing had been different, if you hadnt chosen to run after Daryl when he stormed off after the group finally found Sophia, if the two of you had walked in a different direction and hadnt found that bar, if either of you had decided to stay sober. But that night, the stars truly did align. When you awoke in the arms of the naked Daryl Dixon, you thought that the stars had been doing you a favour. But within a few weeks, you realised that maybe the stars had actually been playing a cruel trick on you.

The group’s place on the farm was hardly permanent, that was obvious from the get go; you didnt know how much longer you would have a safe environment, you didnt know what to do. You had to tell Daryl, of course you did. The two of you hadnt really spoken since that night, the air was different between you two, the butterflies had escaped your stomachs and fluttered around you, bringing small smiles and rosy cheeks and flirtatious glances, but no conversation. Until you speed walked over to Daryl’s tent, your fists clenched so hard your knuckles hurt, your head spinning and your heart pounding.

“Daryl-“

He turned around as soon as he heard your voice, and he barely had to look at you before he was holding your shoulders and searching your eyes. “Hey, ya alright? Ya look like ya’ve seen a damn ghost!”

You chuckled airily, feeling the weight of your words without you even having to say them, and knowing that once you did, they’d only feel heavier. “We need to talk.”

Daryl frowned at you, concerned and obviously a little awkward, not knowing where this ‘talk’ was headed. You could tell that whatever he thought you might say, it was definitely not what left your lips.

“Daryl...Im pregnant.”

His face was unreadable, but unlike every other occasion when it had been difficult to decipher, his usual storminess wasnt present. Daryl stared at you wordlessly, and you felt the weight of your words crushing you until you burst into over-explaining yourself.

“I-I know the baby’s yours, I havent slept with anyone else, b-but I dont expect you to- we dont even know how much longer we’ll be on the farm, it’s stupid to keep it, sorry, forget I even-“ You were rambling, shaking your head and running your hands through your hair, until Daryl grabbed your hands to stop you.

“If ya don’ wan’ it, tha’s up to you, it’s yer body. But, ya don’ gotta give it up, if ya don’ want to.” His words were hoarse, and you could finally read what his eyes were telling you; there were too many emotions, too much shock, he couldnt put those things into words, but he didnt need to.

“Y-You...You want to do this? Daryl, we arent even together, we had sex once and now there’s a baby in the middle of all this and I just...are you sure?” You stared up at him, searching through the waves of emotion in his eyes to try and find an answer.

“Aint nobody else I’d wanna try this with, but if ya dont want a kid now, we can jus’ wait to have one when yer ready.” Daryl was shy, his cheeks blushing beneath his stubble as he avoided your eyes, but his hands still held yours.

You smiled up at him then, the fog in your mind clearing to reveal the answer you needed. “We can try.”

Daryl’s gaze snapped up from the ground to meet your eyes, studying your face for any sign of uncertainty, and in the span of two seconds he found none. He broke out into a smile, which widened into a grin, then into a laugh as he lifted you up in his arms and spun you around, making you laugh too. When Daryl placed you back down on the ground, he held you close to his chest.

“Anythin’ ya need, anythin’ at all, jus’ tell me. Any prob’ems, anyone gives ya a hard time about anythin’, I’ll deal with ‘em.” He promised you, sniffling into your hair, his tears of bliss dampening your ponytail.

You nodded into his chest. “I know, you’ve always kept me safe.”

That statement was true from the very first moment you’d met Daryl. He’d always felt a protectiveness over you, and he couldnt hold back from acting on it. Anytime you’d encountered a walker, he’d all but sprint in front of you to act as a human shield, or he’d fire his crossbow before you’d had the chance to even lift your knife. At first, it annoyed you a little; you felt that Daryl thought you couldnt handle yourself. You confronted him about it angrily, and you’d expected him to get angry at you right back, to tell you that if you didnt get yourself in danger all the damn time - which you had to admit, you did have a bad habit of doing - he wouldnt have to save you. Instead, Daryl just sat at his tent silently, head hanging, and guilt consumed you. Immediately, you apologised for biting his head off and sat down next fo him, and you told him that he made you feel safer than anyone, you just didnt want him to risk himself for you like he always did.

“Rather go out protectin’ you than jus’ gettin’ eaten fer nothin’.” Daryl had mumbled, and although he’d tried to play off how much he cared about you, his message was crystal clear to you.

If you thought he was protective of you then, you had no idea what was awaiting you when you were pregnant with Daryl’s baby. He was at your side 24/7. You were more than happy to move in his tent on the farm, but Daryl moved it closer to the rest of the group so that there were more people to protect you if shit hit the fan. Naturally, Daryl’s sudden clinginess to you, and his ferocity towards anyone who asked him about it, got everyone in the group clued in that something was going on. It was actually Dale that figured it out first. You were hanging some washing out to dry, and he casually approached you in the way Dale did when he had something to say.

“Daryl’s a good guy.” He mused, and you nodded, beaming at him.

“Yeah, he is.” You glanced over at Daryl, who Dale had made sure was in a conversation with Rick a safe distance away from you, so that he could talk to you without your bodyguard tearing him a new one.

“I’ve never seen him so...territorial, over anyone. Closest thing was Merle, and that made sense, that was the only family he had. But you, you arent family to him. That is, unless you and him now have a new...family connection.” Dale guessed, your head whipping back around to stare at him with wide eyes. Seeing your expression, Dale laughed. “Dont worry, your secret’s safe with me. Just let me know if you need anything! Not that I suppose I’ll get the chance to help before-“

And as if by magic, Daryl appeared at your side, taking the basket of washing from your arms and giving you a nod, a silent question of if everything was alright, and you returned the nod to answer.

“Wha’s goin’ on?” Daryl verbalised his next question, directed to Dale, accompanied by a scowl, which you playfully poked Daryl’s chest for.

Dale smiled. “Oh, nothing! Just everyday conversation. (Y/N), I have to say, you are positively glowing today!” He teased, and you laughed, smiling at the old man kindly as he walked away.

“Thank you Dale!” You called after him, and when you looked to Daryl, he was frowning.

“The hell was ‘at?” He asked, his question harsh but his voice always soft when he talked to you.

“Dale guessed. He was smart about it, got my guard down by mentioning what a good guy you are.” You chuckled and shook your head, grabbing more clothes from the basket in Daryl’s arms to hang on the line.

Though Daryl was still on full alert, a small smile curled at the corner of his mouth. “Good guy, huh?”

You grinned at him. “Yup! And Im sure you’ll be more than a good dad.” You stood on your tiptoes to kiss Daryl’s cheek, making him blush furiously as he scoffed.

As a result of the mental and physical wounds that his father left, Daryl understandably had his own anxieties about the kind of father he would be. Up until you’d told him you were pregnant, Daryl honestly hadnt even thought about having kids of his own, he thought he was too broken, a lost cause. Somehow, having you at his side made him feel like he could actually do this.

When the camp found out about Lori’s pregnancy, which came as a total shock to you since you’d been so focussed on your own, you and Daryl decided to tell them about your baby, too. It seemed only fair, and it shared the weight of the burden that you knew Lori was feeling at the same time as you.

“Wait, you too?” T-Dog had asked, with eyes so wide you couldnt help laughing.

“Yeah!”

And then his eyes got wider. “Who’s the daddy?!”

All you had to do was glance at Daryl, and T-Dog’s jaw hit the floor, until he composed himself back into a smirk and a calm nod of approval to Daryl. “Ma man.”

This eased the tension substantially, everyone laughing as Rick approached Daryl to congratulate him. The group had never seen Daryl smile with such pride before.

The farm falling was up there with the worst possible things that could have happened. Daryl stuck to you like glue when the group was on the road, sleeping outside unprotected for the first time in what felt like an eternity. You were exhausted from the stress of it all that first day, and you ending up passing out with your head on Daryl’s lap. That night, he didnt sleep a single second. He stayed on full alert, his eyes and ears hyper focussed on anything that could be a danger to you, while his fingertips absentmindedly combed through your hair as you slept. Despite being on full alert, Daryl couldnt help glancing down at you periodically, and even if those glances only lasted half a second before he returned back to his protective duties, every single time he looked at you he was reminded that he could never love anything more.

Finding the prison felt like a god send, and your hope was restored in the fact your baby’s fate was safe. Sitting in front of that campfire, your head rested on Daryl’s shoulder as he wrapped an arm around you, you smiled into the flames, a few tears slipping down your cheeks. Daryl nudged you gently, his other hand quick to brush your tears away.

“Hey, wha’s wrong? Ya in pain?” He panicked, and you shook your head, beaming up at him.

“Things are turning around.” You told him, your voice so quiet, almost afraid to vocalise such a thought in case it ruined everything.

The smile Daryl gave you put all your worries to rest, and he pulled you closer to place a kiss on your forehead.

No official relationship had been established between you and Daryl, but ever since you discovered that you were having his baby, things had obviously developed. The two of you were more affectionate with each other, a natural progression considering how often you’d be by each other’s sides. But Daryl had never asked you out, you’d never asked him out, there was just a love that was acknowledged and accepted, that was being allowed to finally flourish into something beautiful. The two of you were focussed on the baby, and that was a very welcome distraction, it meant that you didnt spend time worrying about your relationship with each other, you didnt have the space in your minds to overthink about that, so it just existed, and it existed wonderfully.

Settling into the prison was utter bliss, finally having an actual room, a real bed to call your own, it was absolutely needed in your case. Since you were getting so big, it was getting very difficult for you to help out with any laborious tasks, to the extent where you couldnt even lift a mattress onto your own bed. Daryl was more than happy to do that for you, of course, and before you could protest or thank him, he kissed you and sped off, leaving you giggling, bewildered and blushing as you fell back onto the mattress. You hadnt intended to fall asleep, but when Daryl gently shook you awake to eat some dinner, you couldnt have woken up faster. He watched in amusement as you all but swallowed your meal whole, your swollen stomach and glowing smile making his heart pound in his chest. In that moment, he knew that without a doubt, he would keep that prison standing if he had to hold the ceiling up himself, just to give you a safe place to stay.

Lori’s death turned your world upside down. The two of you werent particularly close, but you had grown so much closed given your shared state. Seeing Maggie walk out clutching a bloody baby, and Carl at her side in stone cold shock, it shook your hopeful illusion of your labour going without a hitch. You dont know how you’d convinced yourself of that, or whether you just hadnt let yourself think about giving birth, but every single day after that you grieved the loss of your friend, while your anxiety grew exponentially. Daryl could see it, the closer you got to your due date (which you were glad Hershel had calculated for you, but you partly wished you’d never found out) the more frantic you got. Daryl did his best to calm you down, to reassure you, and what happened to Lori combined with your own fears made him even more determined to stick by your side, so that you definitely werent without him when the time came.

You were sitting in the prison field with Carol picking flowers to lay on Lori’s grave, when you felt a gush between your legs. It was so intense that the fluid reached Carol’s shoe, and she gasped, her head slowly lifting from the flowers in her hands to look at you as all colour drained from your face.

“DARYL!” She yelled, and he was there in an instant, he’d only been a few feet away, but Carol couldnt believe how fast he’d run.

You, on the other hand, didnt see Daryl run. You couldnt move your eyes when his hands held your face, you couldnt speak, you couldnt breathe, you were frozen. And then everything was blurry, and it took you several seconds to register that you were crying. By the time you did realise, Daryl had already swung you up in his arms and was carrying you bridal style as he sprinted for the prison, everyone in the group running behind him.

Daryl laid you on your bed, the blurry silhouette of him disappearing briefly to be replaced by what you deciphered to be Hershel. He pinched your ear, hard, and you slapped his hand away.

“OW!” You cried, and Daryl growled, close to beating the old man if Rick hadnt held him back.

Hershel chuckled. “You werent showing symptoms of actual shock, you were just, well, shocked, and I needed to get you out of it. We need you responsive for this!”

You sighed and let your head fall back against the pillow, rubbing your earlobe. “Fuck.”

Hershel pointed a gloved finger at you. “Careful of that language now, there’s gonna be a little one here soon!”

With that, Hershel began examining you. Daryl was allowed back at your side, and when he reached for your hand, you gripped his. He kept his eyes fixed on your face, not paying attention to what Hershel was doing, only to the reactions of discomfort on your face.

“‘s alright, we gonna get you through this, promise.” Daryl whispered, voice already hoarse with emotion.

“Any guesses on what you might be having, (Y/N)?” Hershel asked you curiously as he examined you, somewhat easing your nerves with a distracting topic.

You smiled at Hershel before your eyes gravitated back to Daryl’s. “Well, we dont know, but since the start I’ve had a feeling that it’s a girl. I dont know, though.”

Hershel smiled at you. “A mother’s instinct is rarely wrong.”

He continued the examination before determining that you had only just started dilating, so it was not yet time to start pushing, despite your contractions having already begun. Since there was no telling how long the labour would take, Hershel told everyone to go back to work for the time being, but of course, Daryl was never going to leave you. For most of your dilation period, it was just you and Daryl in the cell you shared, him thinking up any random crap of a memory he could in order to distract you every time a contraction came, his hand never letting go of yours. Hershel came in to re-examine you and check on how you were doing in general every half an hour or so, and within around four hours, it was time to start pushing. Maggie and Beth were summoned back to the room then for medical assistance, and Daryl stayed at your side as the rest of the company stood essentially staring between your legs, but that was the least daunting aspect of what was going on. Tears filled your eyes as the next contraction rolled ploughed through you.

“PUSH (Y/N), PUSH!” Hershel called out, while Daryl leaned close to your ear.

“C’mon sweet girl, ya got this, yer gonna be jus’ fine. Push for me, push for her, go on, you can do it.” He whispered, but even his whisper was raw with emotion.

You nodded and squeezed your eyes shut, pressure and immense pain building at your hips as you pushed with all your might, your tears escaping and rolling down your face, into your hair that splayed across the pillow beneath your head. You cried out, clutching Daryl’s hand so hard you were worried you were going to break it, but he thought it was the least amount of pain he could deal with considering what you were going through.

And then, there was a cry. The cell plummeted into eerie silence, a ringing in your ears like a bullet had been fired right beside your head, as Hershel lifted a bloody bundle of limbs from between your legs. You felt winded, lost for words, lost for...everything. Maggie and Beth both wiped happy tears from their cheeks as Hershel passed the tiny human over to them, so they could quickly wash the blood away. Sound returned like a crashing wave, the ringing and the deafening silence replaced by heavy breathing and the cries of your baby. When you realised you were still clutching Daryl’s hand in a death grip, you slowly released it and turned to look at him, to see his tear stained face staring at the baby just as you had been.

“Your hunch was right, (Y/N), say hello to your baby girl.” Hershel spoke softly as he held the now bundled up baby out to you, and with shaking arms you reached for her.

She fell into them as though slotting into place, her face chubby and glowing in a way that was utterly ethereal. You shuffled over in bed to make room for Daryl, and he didnt need an invitation to move and sit properly beside you, to wrap an arm around you and the little baby nestled safely in a yellow blanket Daryl had found on his last run.

It wasnt until Maggie and Beth returned with a crowd that you even realised they’d left your cell. Your friends provided you and Daryl with plenty of space, only a few of them filing in at a time before letting others take a peak at the newborn angel. You looked up at Daryl, tearful, sweaty and feeling beyond exhausted, but Daryl had never seen anything so beautiful. You grinned up at him and nodded down at the baby, asking him a silent question, and he could only nod frantically in reply. He held his arms out and you carefully placed his little girl there, cuddled up against her father’s chest. Her face scrunched up briefly as she wriggled to get comfortable, making you and Daryl chuckle as more tears rolled down both of your faces.

“Have you thought of a name for her?” Carol asked, staring at the three of you with so much adoration, beyond overjoyed for her best friend having found the love and the family he deserved.

You smiled at her. “Well, ever since we first talked about her, she gave us something, so we figured...why not name her after what she gave us?” You looked between the people gathered in your cell, and the love of your life beside you.

Daryl sniffled, but nodded along with you and managed a wobbly smile to the audience.

“Her name is Hope, Hope Dixon.” You announced, and the room erupted in quiet and considerate ‘awwh’s as you rested your head on Daryl’s shoulder, eyelids feeling suddenly heavy.

“Alright, I think it’s time we give these three some privacy.” Hershel said, kindly ushering everyone out of the room as they all sent their best wishes and smiles your way.

Daryl sniffled. “Thank you.”

You frowned up at him, too tired to even lift your head from his shoulder. “For what?”

Daryl tore his gaze from the sleeping bundle of joy in his arms, to smile down at you with more confidence and love than you had ever seen on his face.

“Fer tryin’.”

#daryl dixon #daryl dixon x reader #daryl dixon imagine #x reader #the walking dead #twd #imagine #imagines #fanfic #fanfiction #headcannon

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lessthanimpressedlesbian · 2 years

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"Laudna-"

"No!" Laudna shouts, inky tears trailing down her face, pacing the length of the room as her hands pull at her hair. She feels an artificial warmth attempt to wrap around her, but she quickly fights against the feeling and glares at the woman before her.

"You deliberately kept this from me, so don't you dare try to force me to calm down."

Imogen stares down at her feet in shame, the gnarlrock shattered on the floor between them. She takes a step forward, barely managing to hold her resolve.

"I didn't touch it," she argues weakly, her hands fidgeting at her sides.

Laudna whips around and for the first time in their relationship, Imogen is afraid. Instead of their usual warmth, Laudna's eyes hold only fury and pain, the intensity of which knocks the breathe out of Imogen and crushes her heart.

"It doesn't matter, Imogen!" In a flash, Laudna takes off her ring and displays it for her to see. "We promised no more rocks. You promised me. And yet you didn't bother to tell me about this, even though you've had it for days!"

Something bitter and dark twists in Imogen's chest, an acrid taste filling her mouth. "Yeah well, it's not like you kept your promise either."

Laudna's eyes widen in shock and betrayal. Before Imogen can take back her words, Laudna throws the ring at her, hitting her solidly in the shoulder, Imogen only just managing to catch it in her hands. A piece of Imogen's soul shatters when she realizes what she's said.

"No, wait, I didnt-"

"How dare you," Laudna growls out, her voice the deadliest Imogen has ever heard. She might as well have commanded Imogen to be silent with how her entire body freezes.

"I had no control over my body when that happened," Laudna snaps, her fists clenching and black ichor starting to drip from where her nails are piercing her skin. "You kept this rock, knowing what Delilah made me do!" She steps forward, her hands shaking at her side.

"You know very well that I was worried about what that rock was doing to you, but do you have any idea how it feels to know you didn't care enough about my safety to keep that fucking rock away from me?"

Imogen can only stare as Laudna takes another step forward, her shame and guilt and fear rooting her to the spot.

"You shattered the other rock, so why on earth would you keep this one? If it hadn't been for Orym, that," Laudna points at the pile of shards at Imogen's feet, "would have been just another way for Delilah to prove to me that I'm nothing more than a puppet!"

Imogen forces herself forward, her hand reaching out. "I'm sorry-"

Laudna swats her hand away and turns her back to Imogen, her shoulders shaking. Imogen takes another tentative step forward, desperation and rapidly growing anxiety clawing at her chest.

"She was right," Laudna whispers, the words tearing what remains of Imogen's heart to shreds.

"Laudna," Imogen pleads with a whisper, her eyes stinging with tears as she cradles the ring to her chest.

"I need some time, Imogen. Please," she begs, a sob escaping her lips. "I need to be alone right now."

"A-alright." With a deep breath, Imogen walks to the door, only turning back once her hand rests on the handle. Laudna remains where she was, her back turned and her shoulders hunched. Tears blur Imogen's vision as she fights to hold herself together enough to open the fucking door. As she leaves, Imogen sends out one final thought.

I love you, and I'm sorry.

Laudna severs their connection.

#critical role #critical role spoilers #cr spoilers #laudna #imogen temult #imodna #let laudna be angry #my fic #laudna lashing out is something that can be so personal actually #laudna cares so much about imogen but she needs to care about herself too #and while the rock will definitely affect imogen #its definitely more of a threat to laudna #having her body taken over was not fun and imogen put her at risk of experiencing that again #in this fic imogen keeps the rock a secret and krym gives it about 3 days before intervening #and then rhis happens #i should have put that at the start #but im on mobile so im just gonna leave it #speculations for the next few episodes #Neba writes

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the-gay-loser · 1 day

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This Story Took Me Three Years!

May 10 1779 Wednesday

The rolling hills around Jockey Hollow are green with patches of wildflowers. Yesterday after our lessons, the girls and I put away our journals then dashed out of the hut. Robert came, too. We ran through fields, over a creek, and up a slope. We just felt like running! When we reached headquarters, we heard commotion coming along the road. Horsemen and soldiers were cheering “Lafayette!” came the shouts. “Huzzah!” “Huzzah!” We each jumped upon a tree stump, hoping to see we only got a quick glimpse of his face and his red hair when he waved at us

May 11 1779 Thursday

Today I went to headquarters, when I got in Ms. Washington was cooking “good morning Abby! How about you eat with us today, we have a new guest!”

I knew who she meant and I was happy to meet him again. After breakfast Lafayette introduced himself “i don't think we properly introduced i am Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier the Marquis de Lafayette it is a pleasure to meet you” “ same here my name is Abigail Jane Stewart” then we heard Washington say “Marquis where did you go i need your opinion on this battle strategy” Lafayette bowed at me “i hope to see you again Miss Stewart au revoir” i must say he is quite a kind man and i hope to see him again to

May 19 1779 Wednesday

I went to headquarters again today because i had to drop off a letter to Mrs Washington i was secretly hoping to see Lafayette when i got in there the generals were all eating Mrs Washington was sitting next to her husband when i looked around I didn’t see Lafayette Oney came up to me and asked “can i help you dear” “oh…uh I have this letter for Mrs Washington” “i will take it dear” i walked back to the tents puzzled: why wasn’t lafayette there, did he leave already?

May 20 1779 Thursday

I came to headquarters again cause Mrs Washington invited me for tea,

Mrs Knox was waiting “hello Abby come in and sit Mrs Washington will be here soon” upstairs I heard horrible coughing. I must have had a confused look cause Mrs Knox said “poor thing, hopefully he’ll get better soon” “who?” “Lafayette, poor thing caught a terrible fever been coughing and wheezing all day and yesterday to” that's why I didn’t see him yesterday he didnt leave he’s sick “ahh Abby you're here, sorry to disappoint you but we might have to cancel this meeting i don't know if Mrs Knox already told you but Lafayette has a terrible fever poor thing and worst of all he feels bad i keep telling him it's fine but he won’t stop saying sorry” i left feeling sorry for him

May 23 1779 Sunday

I told mama she said “we should bring him something” we spend all day trying to convince the soldiers to go steal eggs flour milk and butter from farmers so we could make butter bread Sally and Mazie stole one mama wasn’t to happy she might of thrown a wooden spoon at sally once or twice

May 24 1779 Monday

Today i went to headquarters, to give the biscuits to Lafayette Mrs Washington let me go up to see him cause she said he should be asleep I walked upstairs and entered the room I walked over and but the basket on the table bye his bed I turned and couldn’t stop string he looked so adorable with his fever flushed cheeks and his long hair falling down his face I couldn’t help but tuck the loose hair behind his ear he moaned and his eyes flickered open he opened his mouth to speak but a coughing fit hit him he groaned and shut his eyes again I told him he not speak or it would drain his energy further he moaned again and grabbed my hand squeezing it I sighed he was delirious I set a wet washcloth on his forehead and headed downstairs i said my quick goodbyes and left

May 30 1779 Friday

Ok if i don’t write this down I’ll explode with joy, so it was a regular day I was doing laundry with mama and Mrs Lulu while Sally and Mazie played i was about to hang something when i heard horse hoofs i was pretty sure it was the general he always does check-in’s on the soldiers but the hooves stopped at our tent then I heard mama “thank you and you feel better” i knew who it was i almost yelled Lafayette was at our tent a major general at our tent i walked over pretending i didnt know he was here “oh hello again” i said, he smiled but this time he seemed really happy “do you feel better?” I asked of course he said “yes, thank you for that bread it was heavenly”

I felt myself blushing. I couldn’t stop. He smiled, of course Sally asked “can i pet your horse” either he has kids at home or he doesn’t want to be rude “but of course” he said then this spiraled into a tornado of questions “what is it like in France? Do you have a family? Are you married? Do you have kids? Do you have more pets? Do you know Mr and Mrs Washington?” He answered all of them which I thought was humanly impossible. But it answers my questions here are the answers

What is it like in France: well it's nothing like America

Do you have a family: sadly my mom and dad died before i was 13

Are you married: yes

Do you have kids: yes

Do you have more pets: yes lots more but all of them are back in France

Do you know Mr and Mrs Washington: Yes Mr. Washington is my commanding officer, and Mrs. Washington helped take care of me when i was sick

Then he bowed and rode off i was starstruck he was kind with my mom and answered all of the questions my sister asked and let her and Mazie pet his horse he didn’t even care that Mrs Lulu and Mazie are black, but i knew that him and Mr. Washington are really close and wanna something cool diary he had both pants pulled up so i could see a musket ball scar i wanted to ask but i knew it was rude my candle is Burning out goodnight diary

June 1779 Monday

Me and sally walked over to headquarters today and wow it's hot i was sweating like crazy, before i go in i rub my forehead with my dress, everyone was drinking wine and cheering Lafayette was sitting with Mr. Washington i could see Washington laughing while Lafayette smiled suddenly Oney popped up next to me “there sweet aren’t they lafayette is one of the only generals that make him laugh” i looked back she was looking at me i didn't know what to say but luckily Sally saved me “Abby we have to go back to the camp” before i left i waved to lafayette he waved back i didn't know that was gonna happen Washington looked over at me and smiled that was the first time i saw him smile at me.

June 10 1779 Wednesday

Today lafayette wrote to me and asked if i wanted to come to headquarters cause his was “bored out of my mind” i came over but before i could go inside i heard this “Miss Stewart over here” i didn't consider that we would walk around jockey hollow together but it was nice we talked about our family’s and our life’s it got late and he walked me back to camp kissing my hand before he left

June 11 1779 Thursday

Today i came by just for fun, when i came everyone looked sad Lafayette had his head in hands Mrs. Washington was patting him on the back she asked me to grab a handkerchief for Lafayette i did and he picked up his head his eyes where red and his face was pale he was trying to catch his breath Mrs. Washington nodded to the kitchen and we both walked over there “what going on?” “Lafayette’s oldest daughter Henriette passed away a year ago poor thing had just got the letter” as i was walking back i thought to myself:

1: lafayette was on a boat for 2 months and then hiked through snow

2: he got a terrible cold

3: and know he just lost his oldest daughter

Can things get any worse for him?

July 12 1779 Tuesday

I went over to check on Lafayette only to find he wasn’t at headquarters I walked around trying to find him until I finally saw a figure sleeping against a tree I walked over and sure enough it was lafayette he was sound asleep against a giant oak tree I got a little nervous when i saw that he was a slight bit more pale but i walked over to him and shook him a bit he startled and then opened his eyes he say me and instantly shot up like a bullet “Miss Stewart to what do i owe the pleasure I smiled and told him I was looking for him he smiled and sat back down we talked for awhile sometimes he would pause a swallow down what i expected to be a sob I told he didn't have to hid it he instantly let multiple teardrops fall from his face and all i did was wrap my arms around him and pull him into a tight hug

July 13 1779 Wednesday

My fathers division is now under command of Lafayette finally more time to see a dear friend. He is based in a brick house a few miles away. Sally and Mazie have been doing stick races on the frozen lake

January 1 1779 Thursday

Lafayette has been riding back and forth from Washington’s camp and whenever he returns he looks stressed. I haven’t been able to see him a lot but he smiles whenever he sees me.

January 21779 Friday

Oh diary i am writing while crying tis why there are wet spots on these pages I can’t write about it know

July 16 1780 Saturday

Ok, diary time to write about last night.

As I said in my entirety on Thursday Lafayette rides back and forth from Washington’s camp to his, well yesterday he went out again. I heard a rumor about him having a violent headache but he looked fine when he left. Well after an hour of him gone people started to worry so we sent a scout to go see if he was ok so when he comes back asking for a wagon we all yell “Mrs. Washington is coming with friends” but i didn't cause the man looked concerned well when he came back and no one was in the wagon we all put our heads down Mrs.Washington Wasn’t coming but then the man called for a doctor we all panicked looking for anyone well sally and Mazie found one sleeping they shook him awake no one knew who it could be but i think i knew and it hit me like a bullet to the heart when i saw reddish hair it was lafayette he passed out on his ride there and when the scout saw him and no horse he panicked that why he wanted blankets and a wagon the doctor got over and first checked his palm for a heart beat lucky he told everyone his heart was beating but very faintly he was shivering and looked horrid the doctor asked Capitan Sherman Locks to help carry lafayette in side to the hearth where he could warm up next the doctor asked for an assistant and picked me when i got in i was assigned to put a hot rag on his head. for a job that sounded so simple it pulled on your heart strings he would moan and shut his eyes tight and squeeze my hand which made me know he was still living which was a good sign but when he was squeezing and his hand loosened i panicked i called for the doctor but he didn’t hear me i got so stressed i fainted when i awoke i was on a chair someone must’ve put me there but when i saw lafayette rubbing his head my world lit up he was alive when i stood he said “ahh your awake”

“How are you?” I asked “good, but my head feels like it was hit by a carriage” I laughed and he joined me then From the other room “Miss Stewart, is he awake?” “Yes, sir he is” the doctor walked over a put his hand on Lafayette’s head “ow” said lafayette The man shook his head “General Lafayette, I am afraid you might be dying” tears poured down me face i shook my head and ran out I don't know what Lafayette said but I bet he was as scared and sad as me

January 17 1778 Sunday

I told Mama,Sally,Miss Lulu,and Mazie every single one of them started to cry the word spread fast people started to pray and some started to make a coffin i couldn’t make my body move i was so upset all of a sudden I started to feel scared really scared like i lost all the protection i had gained i realized that i was scared because being around lafayette made me feel safe.

January 18 1778 Monday

I got a letter from headquarters today i asked around i was the only one to get it i lit a candle outside and opened the letter: “Dear Adrienne” oh no it was for his wife but i really wanted to read it so I copied the letter in this diary and then sealed it and told myself to sneak to the mail pile in headquarters here diary but lets keep this our little secret

Dear Adrienne, this hard to write as my hand trembles at the mere thought of it but i have came down with a fever and when the doctor examined me he said i might be dying although i may have committed many errors and pushed your heart to its limits

I don't want you to grief for i do not believe this doctor and i will live until i am back with you adieu my dear adieu oh diary i wish i had a husband like that

January 19 1778 Tuesday

Well today was a sad day. It was the day of goodbyes and farewells. I was last in line when It was my time the man said “I can’t let you pass, General Lafayette needs his rest.” Then we heard from the other room “Know Jacob, does that seem fair?” It was Mr. Washington. Washington walked over and leaning heavily on his shoulder was…Lafayette Oh i was so happy to see him he did not look any better but oh diary how his face lit up when he saw me “Miss Stewart it is a true pleasure to see you again” Mr. Washington said “same here sir” he nodded then after i prayed for Lafayette and wished him heath I went back to camp when I got back I asked mama “why didn’t Lafayette talk to me?” She answered and both of them i didn't like

1: “well either he was sad and grieving and just disappeared into himself i did that when David died”

2: “ he's too sick to talk and his in need of very serious care and help”

January 20 1778 Wednesday

Today was a weird day, the doctor told me to come over and care for Lafayette, cause the he had to go see more patients, so I went over expecting to find him sleeping or resting, but instead he was at a desk, piles of letters around him he seemed fine so i sat down on a chair at the dining table. Then I heard a moan and walked over to find him head in hands and grimacing. I walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder as he lurched away. I stood in shock for a second and then gently spoke into his ear “hey…let's get you up into bed” he nodded and i helped him up the stairs once I finally had him in bed I went back downstairs to continue cleaning

January 21 1778 Thursday

I came over today and he was sleeping I started to cook and then called to him “Lafayette, i made some soup do you want some” when i got no answer i went over and found him eyes shut and breathing heavily, i panicked the first thing that popped in my head was to go get my mom, i ran as fast as i could my mom dropped her spoon and ran with me first thing she did before we went was she told one of the volunteers to go get the doctor, when we got in my mom walked over and picked up his head and felt his forehead before the doctor came in, when the doctor came in he said the heavy breathing was because his body was fighting pain i took a deep breath at least he wasn’t losing breath, when the doctor left after waking lafayette up and helping him walk upstairs the doctor asked if i could stay for a while i asked him why he said he might die any minute at the word i burst into tears my mother walked over “my daughter will not see the man who she is friends with die” the word die was said to many times for my brain to count i started to lose count my legs go all nub and i fell to my knees head in hands and cried why him why my mom helped me outside and to our campsite Mazie and Sally were playing and when Sally saw my tears she ran up to me and hugged me i hugged her back she was a good sister

January 30 1780 Wednesday

I have had a weird few days, well a weird hour because almost an hour ago I was asked to see take care of Lafayette (he didn't die yet) when I got inside I went up to his room where was staring at the ceiling “how are you?” I asked he just moaned “who made you mister depressed” he chuckled at that but it caused him to start wheezing i sat him up so he could breathe better “Merci Beaucoup Miss Stewart” I couldn’t stop crying he looked at me puzzled “what’s wrong?” “I’m scared for you” I couldn’t hold my self back anymore “Your one of my best friends and I honestly care about you and you don’t deserve to die like this, your wife needs you, your kid needs you…America needs you. He looked me in the eyes and smilied “trust me Miss. Stewart I will fight to my last breath” he held open his arms and I jumped into them and hugged him then I heard quiet snores I laughed he fell asleep in my arms. I let go and tucked him in and kissed his forehead “I have no doubt” and I walked out of his room feeling like my old self.

February 2 1780 Saturday

I was sitting by the fire when an officer came over and handed me a letter. Curious and confused, I opened it. It read: Hello Miss. Stewart, I am sorry to contact you on such short notice but Lafayette has developed a horrible fever and if we don’t get his temperature down he might die. I know that this is on such short notice but I need you to come back to Fish Kill. He keeps asking for you and is refusing help from anyone else. Yours Truly Martha Washington (P.S If you accept this offer I will have a carriage sent for you personally.) Lafayette was asking for me, the poor girl who made food and cleaned the soldiers' old smelly clothes. There was no hesitation. I wrote back immediately . Dear Mrs. Washington, I would be honored to come back to Fish Kill and help Lafayette. To be honest I have become quite attached to the young french man thinking of him as my brother. I would be delighted if I could help in anyway I could. Is it true he is asking for me specifically. Sincerely Abigail Stewart. The next day I got a letter back from Mrs. Washington. Thank you so much Mrs. Stewart! I will have a carriage sent right away and yes, he has been asking for you specifically.

February 10, 1780 Sunday

A carriage arrived the very next day to escort me back to Fishkill. As I sat inside, the wheels rattling over the uneven terrain, my heart pounded with a mixture of fear and determination. Lafayette needed me, and I was determined to do whatever I could to help him.

Upon arriving at Fishkill, I was greeted by Mrs. Washington herself, her face etched with worry. Without wasting a moment, she led me inside the grand estate, where Lafayette lay feverish and weak.

Entering Lafayette's room, I was struck by the sight of him lying in bed, his face flushed with fever and his breathing labored. Mrs. Washington explained that despite their best efforts, they had been unable to bring down his temperature.

Taking a deep breath, I approached Lafayette's bedside, my hands trembling with apprehension. He stirred at the sound of my footsteps, his eyes fluttering open to meet mine.

"Abby..." he murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

I took his hand in mine, feeling the heat radiating from his fevered skin. "I'm here, Lafayette," I said softly, willing my voice to remain steady despite the fear that threatened to overwhelm me.

For hours, I sat by Lafayette's side, bathing his fevered brow and offering words of comfort as he drifted in and out of consciousness. Despite his weakened state, his spirit remained unbroken, his determination to fight evident in the steely resolve that flickered in his eyes.

As the hours stretched into days, Lafayette's condition began to improve, thanks to the tireless care and attention of Mrs. Washington and the skilled physicians who tended to him. His fever gradually subsided, and color returned to his cheeks, a welcome sign of his strengthening resolve.

Throughout it all, I remained by Lafayette's side, offering whatever support I could. In those quiet moments by his bedside, I came to realize the depth of the bond that had formed between us—a bond forged in the crucible of adversity and strengthened by shared moments of fear and courage.

And as Lafayette finally emerged from the shadow of illness, his spirit renewed and his strength restored, I knew that our journey was far from over. Together, we would face whatever challenges lay ahead, drawing strength from each other and the unbreakable bond that bound us together.

February 15, 1780 Friday

As the days passed, Lafayette's strength continued to return, much to the relief of everyone at Fishkill. With each passing day, his fever subsided further, and his appetite slowly returned. The once pale and weakened Lafayette began to regain his color and vitality, a testament to his resilience and determination.

I remained by Lafayette's side, offering companionship and support as he recovered. We would spend hours talking about everything from our hopes and dreams to the challenges we had faced during the war. Lafayette's spirit was indomitable, his optimism contagious, and in his presence, I found solace and strength.

Despite the hardship he had endured, Lafayette remained steadfast in his commitment to the cause of liberty. His passion for freedom burned bright within him, a guiding light that inspired all who knew him.

As Lafayette grew stronger, he expressed his gratitude for my presence and unwavering support during his illness. He thanked me for being there for him when he needed it most, and I could see the sincerity in his eyes.

In those quiet moments together, I came to cherish the bond that had formed between us—a bond forged in the crucible of adversity and strengthened by our shared experiences. Lafayette had become more than just a friend; he was like family to me, and I was grateful for the opportunity to stand by his side.

And as Lafayette continued on the path to recovery, I knew that our friendship would endure long after the war had ended. For in the midst of darkness, we had found light, and in each other, we had found the strength to persevere. Together, we would face whatever challenges the future held, knowing that as long as we stood united, nothing could break our bond.

February 25, 1780 Monday

As Lafayette's recovery progressed, a sense of normalcy began to return to Fishkill. The tension that had gripped the estate during Lafayette's illness slowly dissipated, replaced by a renewed sense of hope and optimism.

Lafayette's presence was like a beacon of light, lifting the spirits of all who crossed his path. His laughter echoed through the halls, his infectious energy infusing the estate with newfound vitality.

Despite his recent brush with death, Lafayette remained as determined as ever to continue the fight for liberty. He spoke passionately about the future of America, his vision of a nation united by freedom and equality inspiring all who listened.

I found myself drawn to Lafayette's unwavering optimism and boundless enthusiasm. In his company, I felt a sense of purpose and belonging, as if I were part of something greater than myself.

As the days turned into weeks, Lafayette and I grew closer, our friendship deepening with each passing moment. We shared laughter and tears, dreams and fears, finding comfort in each other's presence.

And as spring approached, casting its golden glow over the rolling hills of Fishkill, I knew that a new chapter was beginning—one filled with promise and possibility.

For Lafayette and I, the journey was far from over. But with courage in our hearts and hope in our souls, we faced the future together, ready to embrace whatever adventures lay ahead.

And as we stood side by side, gazing out at the horizon, I knew that no matter what challenges may come our way, as long as we had each other, we could overcome anything.

March 3rd, 1780 Saturday

A shadow hangs over the estate—a shadow casted by the specter of illness that once again gripped Lafayette.

It began with a slight cough, barely noticeable at first, but soon it grew into a persistent wheeze that wracked Lafayette's frail frame. Despite his best efforts to conceal his suffering, it was clear to all who knew him that something was terribly wrong.

As the days passed, Lafayette's condition deteriorated rapidly. His once vibrant energy waned, replaced by a pallor that spoke of deep-seated sickness. His cough grew more violent, each rasping breath a painful reminder of the frailty of human life.

Despite the best efforts of the physicians at Fishkill, Lafayette's fever raged unabated, burning like a wildfire within him. His strength waned with each passing day, his spirit dimming like a candle in the wind.

I remained by Lafayette's side, offering whatever comfort and support I could, but it pained me to see him suffer so. His once bright eyes now dulled with pain, his voice reduced to a mere whisper as he struggled to draw breath.

In those quiet moments by his bedside, I prayed for a miracle—a glimmer of hope to pierce the darkness that threatened to consume us. And miraculously, it came.

Despite the dire prognosis, Lafayette's condition began to improve. His fever broke, and color returned to his cheeks as his strength slowly returned. It was a testament to his resilience and determination, a testament to the indomitable spirit that had carried him through so many trials before.

As Lafayette's health improved, so too did the mood at Fishkill. The once somber atmosphere gave way to a sense of cautious optimism, as we dared to hope for a brighter future.

And though Lafayette's recovery would be slow and arduous, we knew that with time and care, he would emerge from this ordeal stronger than ever before.

As I sat by Lafayette's side, watching over him as he slept, I felt a profound sense of gratitude wash over me. Gratitude for his resilience, for his courage, and for the unwavering friendship that had sustained us through the darkest of days.

And as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting its golden rays over the peaceful landscape, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, as long as we faced them together, there was nothing we couldn't overcome. For in the bonds of friendship and the resilience of the human spirit, we found the strength to endure, one day at a time.

April 20, 1780 Saturday

Despite the budding beauty of the season, a sense of tension hung heavy in the air—a tension born of the ever-present threat of danger that lurked just beyond the horizon.

One fateful day, Lafayette embarked on a reconnaissance mission to gather crucial intelligence on enemy movements. His departure filled us with a sense of unease, for we knew all too well the perils that awaited him on the battlefield.

Days turned into weeks, and still, there was no word from Lafayette. Each passing day brought with it a sense of mounting dread, as we waited anxiously for news of his fate.

Then, one stormy night, a rider arrived at Fishkill, bearing grave tidings. Lafayette had been gravely injured in battle, his condition critical. Without hesitation, we rallied to his side, determined to do whatever it took to save him.

As we journeyed to the battlefield, the sounds of cannons and muskets grew louder, a cacophony of chaos that served as a grim reminder of the horrors of war. But amidst the chaos, there was a glimmer of hope—a hope that Lafayette would emerge from this ordeal alive and well.

Finally, we reached the battlefield, where Lafayette lay wounded amidst the carnage of war. His face was pale, his breathing shallow, but his spirit remained unbroken. With trembling hands, we carried him to safety, praying for his swift recovery.

Back at Fishkill, we tended to Lafayette's injuries with the utmost care, each of us doing our part to ease his suffering. But as the days passed, it became increasingly clear that his injuries were more severe than we had initially feared.

Lafayette had sustained multiple gunshot wounds, each one more serious than the last. His condition was critical, his very life hanging in the balance as we fought tirelessly to keep him alive.

Despite the pain, Lafayette remained resolute, his determination to overcome his injuries serving as a source of inspiration to us all. But as the days stretched into weeks, his strength began to wane, his once bright spirit dimming like a flickering flame.

And yet, even in his darkest hour, Lafayette refused to give up hope. With each passing day, he fought bravely against the odds, his unwavering courage a testament to the indomitable human spirit.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Lafayette's condition began to stabilize. Though the road to recovery would be long and arduous, there was a glimmer of hope on the horizon—a hope that Lafayette would emerge from this ordeal stronger than ever before.

And as we watched him slowly regain his strength, we knew that though the scars of battle would always remain, they served as a reminder of Lafayette's bravery and sacrifice in the fight for freedom.

As spring gave way to summer, the war continued to rage on, but with Lafayette by our side once more, we faced the challenges ahead with renewed determination. And though the road ahead would be long and fraught with peril, we knew that as long as we stood together, there was nothing we couldn't overcome.

August 10, 1780 Sunday

With the arrival of fall, a sense of rejuvenation swept through Fishkill, breathing new life into the estate and its inhabitants. The once barren trees began to bud, and vibrant wildflowers dotted the landscape, painting the hillsides with splashes of color.

Lafayette, now fully recovered from his illness, seemed to embody the spirit of renewal that permeated the air. His energy was boundless, his enthusiasm infectious, and everywhere he went, he brought with him a sense of hope and optimism.

As the days grew longer and warmer, Lafayette took to exploring the surrounding countryside, eager to immerse himself in the beauty of nature. He would often invite me to accompany him on his walks, and together we would wander through meadows and forests, lost in conversation and laughter.

During these moments of tranquility, Lafayette would share stories of his homeland, regaling me with tales of France and his family. I found myself captivated by his words, transported to a world far removed from the chaos of war.

But amidst the beauty of spring, reminders of the ongoing struggle for independence were never far away. News from the front lines brought both triumph and tragedy, as the tide of battle ebbed and flowed across the countryside.

Yet, even in the face of adversity, Lafayette remained steadfast in his commitment to the cause. His unwavering resolve served as a beacon of hope for all who fought alongside him, a reminder that victory was within reach if they remained united in their pursuit of freedom.

And as we stood together beneath the clear blue skies of spring, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, as long as we faced them together, there was nothing we couldn't overcome. For in the bonds of friendship and the promise of a brighter tomorrow, we found the strength to endure, one day at a time.

March 28th, 1780 Saturday

Even with spring now blooming into full splendor, the war raged on, its echoes reaching even the tranquil sanctuary of Fishkill. The distant thunder of cannons served as a constant reminder of the sacrifices being made on the battlefield, a reminder of the price of freedom.

But amidst the chaos and uncertainty, there was a sense of unity and purpose that bound us together. Lafayette's presence at Fishkill served as a beacon of hope, his unwavering dedication to the cause inspiring us all to persevere in the face of adversity.

Together, we worked tirelessly to support the troops, providing aid and comfort to those in need. From sewing uniforms to tending to the wounded, each of us played our part in the fight for liberty, fueled by the belief that a better future awaited us on the other side of the struggle.

And as the days turned into weeks, and the weeks into months, a sense of anticipation began to build. Rumors of impending victory spread like wildfire, igniting a spark of hope in the hearts of all who longed for peace.

Then, one fateful day, news arrived that the war had come to an end. The long-awaited moment had finally arrived—the dream of independence had become a reality.

Amidst the jubilation and celebrations that swept across the land, Lafayette stood tall, a symbol of resilience and determination. His unwavering commitment to the cause had helped pave the way for victory, and his legacy would forever be enshrined in the annals of history.

As the sun set on the battlefield, casting its golden rays over the hallowed ground, I stood beside Lafayette, gazing out at the horizon. In that moment, amidst the quiet beauty of the evening, I knew that a new chapter was beginning—a chapter filled with promise, possibility, and the enduring hope of a brighter tomorrow.

And as we looked towards the future, hand in hand, I knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, as long as we faced them together, there was nothing we couldn't overcome. For in the bonds of friendship and the triumph of the human spirit, we found the strength to build a better world—one step at a time.

#marquis de lafayette #fanfiction #Hamilton #OC #3 Years #Seriously please read

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i-luv-carl-grimes · 9 months

Text

𝔅𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔰

S1 Ep5

Stars

Warning: abuse, language and lots of valance as well as gore if you are younger then 14 please don't read

************************************************

Even though everyone was trying to hide themselves from the rain I still sat in the same place having the summer rain come down drenching me that peace didnt last long though, just a few minutes. "Alright Rayne go change your clothes your all wet and covered in dirt," Lori said and I nodded

She lead me into hers and Carl's tent then handed me my other outfit (purple shirt one) and I quickly changed not letting my gun leave my sight, I walked out and Lori took my clothes. "I'll put them with Carl's laundry," she said and I nodded. "Here kid," Daryl said and threw a gun holster at me, it was brown and a bit scuffed I nodded and put it around my waist, it was lose and hung off my hip but whatever, I put my gun in the holster when Carl walked over to me, "mom never lets me touch a knife let alone a gun, you still haven't told me how old you are" he said and once again for the 15 millionth time handed me that stupid note pad. 'It's not important, you're not gonna know me for long' I handed it to him and his smile faded. "More talk about leaving, you have a good chance here and you're just a kid there's no way you could live on your own!" he said each word that came out made me cringe. 'watch me' he let out, and annoyed sigh. "please? just for a little while" he said, 'your people dont need another mouth to feed,'. "what if your family comes back?" he said and his words ran through my head. "Carl I think that's enough give her some space," Lori said but Carl didn't listen. "you know, I still think my dads out there" he started but I sat up and stomped away.

if I stay quiet it'll go away.

Carl's pov:

did I say something wrong? "Carl hair cut get over here!" my mom yelled and I groaned I hated getting my hair cut, it was so annoying, but mom never let me grow it out, unfair right? "you know if you didn't move so much this would be easier," my mom said as she harshly moved my head back in place. "you know what really sucks? when you start shaving then you be wishin' for one of you mamas hair cuts," Shane said. "ill believe it when I see it," I said and he let out an airy laugh. "I'll tell you what, you get through this with some manly dignity, and tomorrow I will teach you somethin' special, I'll teach you to catch frogs, and trust me that is not something to be takin' lightly I'm willin' to share my secrets its a one time offer," he said. "why do we need frog?" I asked. "ever eat a frog leg?" he asked. "eww!" I replied. "he's right ew," mom said. "we get down on the last of that girls supplies you'll be lovin' those frog legs, lady, dont listen to her man, me and you we'll be heroes man feeding all these folks you and me Shane an-" "can Rayne come too?" I asked cutting him off but my question was left unanswered as the sound of an alarm went off in the distance.

Rayne's pov:

I was walking back to camp when I heard an alarm go off, that walk turned into a run, I knew something bad was going to happen when I got back to camp I seen everyone hugging with people I had never seen before, I looked at Carl and saw that he was crying then, a middle-aged man with curly hair walked out. "dad!" Carl screamed and ran over to him Lori followed as they all sobbed in each other's arms. everyone watched with the people they loved, while I just stood there alone. I looked down trying to hide the tear that had fallen from my cheek, I'm still so weak

it was night and everyone was sitting around the campfire, except me, I didn't want them to see me as a part of there group, after all, I wasn't, sure it was cold but I can handle worse. Ed and Shane started arguing about shit I would care less about, one thing I did know was that I didn't like Ed, that look he had, it was the look that my father would give before hitting me, or even just beating me, the look of complete disregard of what you're doing. it was probably the same look I gave my sister...before it was over.

everyone was settling down for the night, except me I was still outside sitting on top of Dale's Rv looking at the stars when a heard a shuffle and someone climbing up the later I gripped my knife just to see 2 familiar baby blue eyes I sighed and turned back around he then sat down next to me. "mom said you should get some rest" he said then like ALWAYS handed me that stupid notepad. 'ok' I handed it back to him. "please?" he pushed. 'what do you want from me? can't you just leave me alone,' I watched the way his face dropped and for some odd reason it hurt I then took the notepad. 'i'm 9' i wrote answering his question from earlier, I saw his smile come back. "I'm 10," he said then got up and walked down the ladder and back to his tent.

soon after I got up and walked to their tent the only thought on my mind was. 'did I just trust that kid with my age...he's just gonna die, save yourself the trouble'

I walked in and Lori pointed to a spot next to a sleeping Carl.

I didn't sleep that well, every time I closed my eyes the image of my family appeared in my head, but hopefully tonight will be the night I don't wake up from

#carl grimes #carl the walking dead #the walking dead #twd carl #chandler riggs #carl x reader #twd x reader #chandler riggs x reader #fanfic #fanfiction

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raisethestake · 1 year

Text

Crosshair x AFAB Jedi reader pt. 2/2

SPOILER WARNING

This is based off my headcanon that everything works out well lol

Just fluff. Enjoy!

Pt. 1 👇

Order 66

· i was called on a different mission when the signal went off.

· i fled to Ord Mantell and got nearby digs from one of Cid's contacts.

· when I heard the Batch was here. I hightailed it to the bar to see them.

· i was pretty distraught about Crosshair. I wanted to go with them but they wouldnt let me as he was hunting them and would 100% try to kill me.

· i ended up getting in contact with Bail Organa who put me in contact with Rex.

· when Crosshair RETURNED... I was with Rex.

· the Batch came to meet us and he was there, dressed in Hunter's spare armour. I was a little hesitant at first and he couldnt look me in the eye.

· i glanced quickly at Hunter, whose look told me it was safe.

· i approached him carefully - my fear dissipating with each step, then gently touched him as I took him in once again. My hands caressed his waist as i stepped in to hug him - my head against his chest, hearing his heartbeat again, which was insanely fast.

· he soon wrapped his arms around me, tightening his grip when he heard me inhale shakily. I tightened my grip on him too and he gave me a hesistant at first, but long and gentle kiss on the top of my head before burying his nose in my hair and inhaling deeply - eyes closed, as i broke down quietly in his arms.

· i moved to bury my nose into his neck and inhale his scent and he rested his cheek on my head and plantes gentle kisses on the side of my face.

· i pulled back to look up at him. He was still struggling to meet my eyes, so i cupped his face in my hands and kissed him gently and purposefully. I felt his hands move up my shoulders to cup my face too.

· when we broke away, he kept his forehead touched to mine and our eyes met. His hands moved to my neck and his thumbs stroked my face. My hands stroked his head and moved down to hold his waist. We stayed like this for some time before with the smallest smile, i uttered "hi."

· "hello, darling."

· we smiled, kissed again and embraced once more before Hunter cleared his throat from the other side of the room.

· we shared one more look before we made our way over, crosshair just behind me, his hand once more loosely but deliberately around my waist.

· he was especially tentative and quiet now, not wanting to do a thing out of line.

· he was fine in battle, where he belonged, but he separated himself a little the rest of the time, feeling he hadn't earned his place back on the squad. When we were on the ship, we usually had to invite him to join in things.

· i brought him a rollie and took him up to the roof like old times to talk about this.

· it was a very productive and open conversation. I'd made it very clear that anything he didnt want his brothers to know, they wouldnt.

· we were up there for hours, pouring out our souls and stories and connecting more deeply than we ever had.

· (wrecker came out briefly to check on us before they went to bed)

· we ended up falling asleep up there. Or at least I did, between Crosshair's legs with my head against his chest. I dont know if he slept at all, or just watched over me.

· i woke early and he made me coffee before everyone else woke up. He looked a lot more himself already.

· although he was still quieter, he always joined in an activity whenever he was asked to. He always went hunting with wrecker, assisted Tech with ship repairs and was generally being an angel.

· it honestly creeped the boys out a little, but they appreciated the sentiment.

· the sarcastic comments came back as he got more comfortable, but they were a lot less hurtful and more just aiming to amuse than degrade.

#the bad batch headcanons #the bad batch fic #the bad batch x you #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch fluff #tbb fic #tbb #tbb x reader #tbb fluff #star wars fluff #crosshair #crosshair x reader #crosshair x you

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philosophicalparadox · 1 year

Text

Let's have fun with feelings!

Originally I was going to submit this for the 12 days of Casca event, but it just didn't seem to fit most of the prompts, and its really angsty, so eh 🤷

EDIT: it's been updated with what will probably be the final version of this scene, and the official title of the fic. I finally had enough chapters compiled to come up with a fitting title. :) I've also trimmed it down via line break so it's not wall-o-text on my poor followers feed. It's a few character-thought paragraphs longer though I must say.

Anyway, have a scene/chapter from the WIP I keep changing the name of - now officially called Never Sleep Alone. I've tossed around with a title for this for a while but that one's sticking for now. Sums up the theme pretty well. :p

Slightly NSFW; nothing too overtly sexy but there's a hurt/comfort-sex vibe and implications thereof.

Pairing: Griffith x Casca - Almost. :) Underpinnings of Griffith x Guts. Griffith is Confused with a capital C.

Context: this is a Griffith-stops-Guts-from-leaving fic, and this scene happens when Casca seeks Griffith out after events on the hill, before he can get into trouble with Charlotte...or anyone else, in theory. Buuuuut.....well. That's not quite how Griffith works, unfortunately.

NOTE: Braies are the medieval equivalent of underwear.

Enjoy!

Casca knew where he was headed; she didnt have to think as her feet studiously brought her before the Noble-quarters Griffith was staying in whilst in Wyndam on behalf of the king while his own manor received it's reconstruction. It was in a high-brow neighborhood of course, a light reddish tint to the White wash on Griffith's dwelling making it distinct from the other town-homes on either side of it.

Casca moved without much thought or consideration as she went through the motions of inviting herself inside. It had been a long, confusing, emotional evening, and if she was this strung out, she knew Griffith was at least twice as bad.

The housekeep were polite and understanding, though they seemed at once quite unsettled, though she could only guess at why. One of them, a swarthy, sun kissed old woman, did remark briefly that they had heard him "moving things about" upstairs, and that when he had let himself in earlier, he seemed very pensive and hadn't said a word to anyone. Casca wasn't sure she knew what they meant by "moving things around", but she wasn't sure of a lot of things right now, except that Griffith, despite successfully disarming Guts - and nearly taking his leg in the process - had to be hurting right now. In fact, she quite confidently knew he was struggling right now. How he was dealing with it, like so many things tonight, she was not sure of; but she recognised when her instincts were trying to tell her something, and right now they were telling her to go to him, before he did something he would regret.

If there was one thing she knew about Griffith better than anyone, it was his tendency to act out or become some flavor of weird and reclusive when he felt down. Often that manifested as shutting himself in his tent for two days, barely eating a thing; sometimes it meant he would take a long walk by himself or ride away to some unknown place for a few hours. Other times she would come upon him dressed down to his braies, shivering himself into sensibility by letting the cold numb him. She tried not to disturb him too much when he was like this, unless she thought he was hurting himself too badly; and she would have let him alone tonight. But she had a feeling, deep in her gut, that he would end up doing exactly that if she didn't keep an eye on him.

"Griffith?" She called, rapping her knuckles on his bedroom door. "It's Casca. I just...wanted to see how you're doing. Make sure you're okay." She struggled with the words in her mouth as though they were chewed fat, sticky and awkward. A few moments passed, and in the time there was not a sound to be heard from the other side of the door. She went to tap the wood again with the back of her hand, but stopped when he finally responded.

"Come here." He called back quietly, his voice surprisingly even, though he sounded a little raspy. Casca paused, her intuition finding some issue with the invitation. It wasn't the stunning formality she was used to, and though that made her happy on some level, that he would drop the ruse to invite her in, it also heightened her concern. She shook the nerves away and opened the door - to find a sight she'd of better assumed to be the work of a determined house theif than the man before her.

Papers were strewn about everywhere, his desk where they had presumably been settled was wildly ajar, it's fresh-scuffed surface betraying the violence with which it was put into that position, with drawers shuddered open and edges chipped and notched. A simple, long dagger stood glinting from its splintered top, and suddenly the notches and scratches in its leading edge made a cold kind of sense. Even the curtain on his bed was ripped from its stays and had clearly been mutilated by the very same blade. 'Moving things about indeed' she surmised - but the idea was far from amusing. Instead a heavy dread settled into her gut like a stone, recognizing the handiwork of rage and pain that she would have never presumed her commander capable in this disaster of a room; she hated herself for it, but she'd of been lying if she said it didn't intimidate her, on a subconscious level. She'd never seen Griffith lose his temper, not ever, so seeing such a wanton display - accentuated by the dagger, plunged so deep into the wood he'd of had to throw his whole weight atop it - definitely scared her.

"Don't." Griffith broke the stiff, heavy silence with a small plea. "Don't be frightened of me." He looked up at her from where he stood, braced against the window ledge with his hands, his body awkwardly slumpy and clearly tired - it wasn't until then that Casca noticed that, in spite of how level he sounded, he was just as much of a wreck as the room. Young bruises and a few scrapes of blood coloured his knuckles, vivid against his milky skin. He had on his neck the faintest flush of pink and a thin veneer of sweat, and his breathing was more ragged than it sounded. But it was his eyes that truly gave him away - fading signs of bloodshot eyes and a wavering, barely-focused view told her stories of tears that had since dried and retreated from view.

And she understood, in that moment, how deeply she had underestimated his attachment - and maybe affection - to Guts.

Her thoughts were swirling. 'I knew something happened between them. Guts was so determined - and, like it or not, he was always going to win that fight. He was always going to win - you don't have the strength to best him anymore, and you both knew that; hell, if I knew that, then so did you, right? But he didn't win - why? Was it the look in your eyes when he was making the final blow? Did you show him the depth of your feelings? On accident? On purpose? Why?' Casca didn't know. But she understood - and that is what he needed right now.

Someone to understand. Someone who wouldn't judge him for the sin of being in love with the wrong person. Someone who could embrace him in spite of it. Just like before, just like that time in the river after...that, had happened.

Or, at least that's what she thought he needed.

Casca didn't have time to offer words or gesture. "Oof! What? - " she was caught off guard when Griffith suddenly threw himself at her, gathering her tightly in his arms - so tight she could barely breathe. Initially she was frightened - but his embrace was too gentle to hurt her, however hard he was squeezing, and he wasn't making any moves to lay her open or some such.

On one hand, she was pleasantly surprised; but her gut, which had been very talkative this evening, told her something was very wrong here. Griffith never initiated things like this, not with her - not with anyone that she knew of, not even Guts. A slow, semi-painful squeeze forced the air from her lungs completely and distracted her from her thoughts for a moment; but it was over as quick as it started, and he let go of her just enough to lean back and look at her face, searching for something Casca didn't know how to identify. He was always so clandestine. Not for the first time, she wondered how much of that was innate and how much he did it on purpose.

"Please," Griffith pleaded, a vague, distant, and if Casca were guessing right, jaded look in his pale eyes. "Don't be frightened of me. I am far more dangerous to myself right now than you." Casca's heart dropped at the confession, still too breathless to form a response, or even think of one. Her breath then stopped completely, heart flying unceremoniously into her throat, when Griffith's hand trailed feather-light upon her cheek, his eyes taking a darker, more subdued hue. His long, pale lashes glinted in the lamp light, and Casca felt her whole upper body flush with what was no doubt a ruddy blush.

"I want you." He breathed, bringing their faces so close she could have counted the lashes on his half-closed eyes. His hand then rested, open palmed but still so light, so gentle, upon her warming cheek. "I want you to be brave, Casca. Can you do that?" He whispered, leaning toward her other ear. She felt their cheeks brush just barely and couldn't resist a gasp as her lungs gave out from their neglect. "Can you be brave for me?" His voice held an undeniably seductive lilt this time, and Casca abruptly realised the darkish look she hadn't then recognised to be one she'd seen easily a thousand times - just not on his face. Never on his face.

"I don't...understand?" She defended weakly, her breath suddenly returning to her in heavy gasps, pulling away from him on reflex. But his arms held her fast in place, and at once pulled her closer; he then buried his face in her shoulder and neck, breathing deeply. Casca was horribly confused, and habitually a little bit scared, but her reflex to push him away left when she felt him tremble. It was slight, and if she hadn't of been looking for something like that to offer explanation to the situation, she'd of probably missed it. But it was there, a tiny, barely perceptible shaking in his shoulders that shuddered through him to his nose and jaw where he pressed them to her skin.

She didn't fight him when they started moving, a cautious curiosity feeding strange ideas in her mind as he led her to the exposed edge of his bed. When the corner pressed into the back of her thigh, suddenly she felt sparks. Was this happening? She seen him draw back and pause for a moment, before bringing up his hand to guide her face to his, silently asking permission, she presumed. She did not deny him, and met his soft, warm and surprisingly dry mouth with a mixture of elatement and apprehension.

She knew then that he didn't mean her harm, and once that was established, it was like nothing else mattered. Her mind went peacefully blank, offering him whatever it was he was asking from her - she would be his anything if it meant he went back to normal. If it meant she could be helpful. If it made her more than a sticky thorn in his side. She knew - she could sense his annoyance with her at times, could sense the shift in his disposition when he was trying to shield his emotions from her. But this... this was new. This was different. This was Griffith, in his purest, rawest form. And she wasn't going to give him any reason why he shouldn't show her more of this side of him, a side he so desperately needed to share with somebody.

Or, that was the plan, anyway.

He reached down to twine his hands with hers, kissing her neck gently, cautiously. She had no idea where this was meant to be going, but she did not resist. It wasn't worth it to resist - though if it was fear forcing that feeling upon her, it didnt make itself known. She was both calm and restless. She was elated, but also felt defeated, somehow. Like he had just won a fight she had not realised they were having.

The speed at which the kiss escalated surprised but did not disappoint her - she had always wondered why it was men blathered on about the 'taste' of a person, but she kinda understood it now; as did she understand why the previously gross notion of having someone else's tongue in her mouth was such a celebrated win among the rookies. He seemed to have a degree of skill in this endeavor, winding and twining his tongue in hers, though she dare not think how he may have acquired such experience. Their soft tongues tasted and tested each other curiously, and Casca wondered for a moment if all men tasted like this or if it was unique to him. She'd of liked to prefer the latter.

Upon meeting, Casca suddenly felt his possible intention pressing into the hollow of her hip, and a flutter of anxiety struck her like a dull sword in the chest - but it was very swiftly overwhelmed by the excitement growing from below, which roared from a dull possibility into a very different sense of reality, of proximity, as her body seemed to instinctively know what that was and what she wanted it to do to her.

She did not get much longer to ponder though before a much firmer hand than had previously touched her found the crook of her thigh below her butt, and lifted her the short distance onto the bed. It was a jarring experience, enough to break their kiss momentarily, and in nearly the same motion, he gently leaned onto her, using the hand that had been cradling her face and neck to push her back by the waist until she lied down. Before she could mutter an utterance, their lips - and tongues - resumed their business as if there had been no interruption. His hands, freed of the need to prevent her escaping, apparently, now wandered to all but her most sensitive places, tracing gentle, sensual shapes up her sides, tracing dashed lines up and down her outer thigh. It was exhilarating.

He then quite abruptly used both hands on her buttox to move her upward, higher on the bed - bringing his own hips along with, and meeting her own with a small sigh that escaped somehow between them.

She could not resist a soft moan when he moved from her lips finally to her neck, pressing open-mouthed kisses to the corner of her jaw as he simultaneously held her arms down gently beside her head, pulling back so he could push his sex into hers, pressing just until the pressure seemed it might tear through their clothes. She reacted with a tremble, sliding her legs up his flanks before entwining them around him, pulling him closer, tighter, asking for something she had, to his knowledge, never known.

He stopped, then. Froze, to be more precise - a stiff statue of his formerly passionate self. Casca looked up at him, bitterly confused, but became concerned instead when she seen the ghost of pain on his face. It wasn't physical pain, though - no, he was still pressing into her, still stiff as wood - no, this was another pain entirely, and Casca honestly understood none of it.

"You don't want this." He said morosely, with a bizzare form of authority. He turned his face away from her then, trying to hide his expression, which nonetheless betrayed the key to this sudden interruption - shame. "You don't want me to treat you like this." He half-whipsered, jaw going tight and arms stiffened from restraint.

Casca was a little dazed. "Wh- yes, I do. I would have stopped you otherwise."

"No, you wouldn't, and we both know it." He said starkly. Those words struck something in her then, sending her heart racing with - what was that? Fear? No. Panic? Why? Because she was losing her chance? Because he was now backing away from her, moving across the room with hanging head to sit as unceremoniously as she'd ever seen him sit onto the chair beside his desk? Because he was rejecting her, again? Because she wasn't good enough, again? Why then? Why offer her a taste if he was just going to rip it away like that? For what? His pride?

"Griffith, I -"

Casca desperately wanted to cry, to scream, to be angry and hurt - and she was. But the words Griffith next spoke offered respite, first in the form of feeling doubly offended, making her anger overshadow her pain for a moment: "You don't want me to treat you like a whore." He said firmly, folding in on himself.

... and then in the form of feeling a wave of regret pass over her for it, for he uttered softly, a moment later, "...I would know."

His bruised and bloody knuckles tightened around his shirt on his upper arms, a familiar coping behavior that Casca immediately recognised - and understood precisely what he meant. And it shattered any resolve she might've had to be angry at him for rejecting her.

"You should go." He interrupted. It was not phrased as a suggestion. "I...need to be alone, for a while."

Casca felt lost. One minute, they were breaths away from taking their clothes off, then she wanted to throttle him, and now he wanted her to leave?

And yet she couldn't argue with his logic, as per usual. After all, what would they have been? A single night tryst made in the throes of a passion that wasn't made for her? A union made from the desperate trappings of greif and longing? For another man, no less. She was hurt - oh, was she hurting. But she couldn't find the will to argue. He was right - maybe it was better this way. He was always right.

But she had never before wanted so, so desperately for him to be wrong.

"Thank you, Casca." Griffith said suddenly. "For checking in on me. Believe it or not, I needed that. All of that." Casca fought off a wince. He gave her a small and tired but surprisingly genuine smile, though his usually clandestine eyes now poorly hid a vicious bitterness that Casca knew was not directed at herself - he would have hid it from her otherwise, or at least tried harder. He was funny like that. In spite of everything, his smile was like a soothing balm upon her temperament, and she managed to collect herself even for just a moment. "If you...need, anything else," she fought the tremble in her voice with all her might, forcing it into her shaking hands instead. "You know where to find me." Casca didn't have the strength to look at him when she said that, turning on her heel and walking out the door without a second glance. And yet, she could almost sense the frown behind her. Almost.

She only made it a few steps before her delicate resolve came undone in rivulets, deep breaths trying to disguise sobs as she prepared to go down the stairs. But the wave of emotions would not be held back this time, and so she resolved to escape as quickly as possible, before she was noticed.

Unbeknownst to her, a young and now very confused housemaiden watched her descend.

Feel free to ask questions or comment with suggestions if you have them. I won't be able to put this whole fic up on Ao3 for a minute yet since all the scenes are out of order still, with bridges yet unwritten, so here's a taste for you. :)

#berserk #griffith #guts #casca #griffca #griffguts #angst #fanfic #wip #long post #NeverSleepAlone

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aitapokemon · 8 months

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Alex experience

AITA for (attempting) killing somebody using my Doublade?

OK this is sounds bad but hear me out, for context I am a male (13) originally from Hoenn came to Kalos to go to do my first journey with my starter a Riolu (later evolve into Lucario) given to me by my father and grandfather.

On my journey I caught a Honedge that didnt want to evolve into Aegislash as my eight capture in the region, I don't have any problem with this, mind you, as I doesn't like Aegislash too much anyways and liking Doublade more. And although I don't have problem with it apparently some people, who like to poke their nose onto someone else problem doesn't like both our decision because apparently that I have been holding back my Doublade potential. So this male Karen heard our plan to go to a jewelry shop so I can buy my Doublade something to hold his everstone so it won't slip in the battle, I dont know what triggers it but this Karen start to screamed at me about how I 'abuse' my Pokemon's so they afraid to evolve and about how I should handed over all of my Pokemon before he called on officer Jenny to report my 'abuse'.

We all probably had an experience dealing with this kind of Karen on our journey at least once right? So I already prepared to dealt with it by ignoring him. Apparently its a mistake as the Karen figured it out that if I ignoring him then he'll stalk me until I bend to his will, mind you I am camping on the wildness to avoid being interrupted when I'm training my other 'Mons. And because of that the inevitable happen, my Braixen who's been sparring with my Lucario accidentally fired a Will-O-Wisp in the direction of Karen's tent and it catches on fire, thankfully all of his stuff is still outside since he just finished setting up his tent, deliberately close to our training ground, and thats how the nuclear start, and by Arceus he's lucky that I did not immediately kill him in the forrest, he throw tantrum about how I order my Pokemon to kill him before he reported my 'abuse' to Jenny when I apologize to him about the tent and promising him that I will replace it once we got in to the near town. He won't have it though even tho its his own fault that he set his tent near my Pokemon training ground, mind you we already camped here for almost a week now.

But anyways long story short when we arrived at the closest town after the nightmarish walk accompany by the Distortion world most devilish creature that made even Darkrai jealous I immediately go to a pokecenter to book a room and for some of my Pokemon to get a health check after a week on the road, I headed to my room to stash my things before going to sightseeing with some of my teammates, now apparently some of them chose to lazing in the room rather than sightseeing so I left them with my stuff to guard while I take a walk with my starter and Doublade. I don't do much on my walk just finding a jewelry store to bought some kind of ring that the everstone can be placed on the center of it for my Doublade and a new tent to replace what I owe to Karen. I actually became a bit suspicious when I don't see a hair of him to pester me about the so-called abuse but I don't think much about it picked up my Pokemon's from nurse Joy, but I should have been wary because lo and behold the Karen leisurely sprawled on the bed with his things scattered on it and my belongings tossed on the floor carelessly with my remaining two Pokemon's growling at him, then he had the audacity to say that I should sleep on the floor while he take the bed "is the least you can do for destroying my tent" he say. I had non of it and gather his belongings and throw them to the hallway along with his new tent while he screeched at me while chasing after his things. He caused so much ruckus that made other people who stayed on the same floor poked their heads out to see what's the commotion is about, someone even called officer Jenny on him when he try to go after the Pokemon egg I hold.

And that made me snap, I am tired hungry and in need to cuddle with my Pokemons and this Karen had the balls to go after my baby, so I hand over the egg to my Braixen before grabbing one of the handle of my Doublade sword and stabbed at the direction of Karen's head, I purposely miss but making sure that he got a thin slice on the side of his head where my Doublade sword embed on the wall, he immediately goes white "you listen to me you little shit, I am in no way have a requirements to comply in your entitled ass, but I have been very patient this last few days in hopes that you will leave me and mine alone, but now you just cross the line by attacking my baby, so I will give this options for you to follow, either you get the hell out of this floor calmly, or you get out of this building with a missing organ, it is yours to pick." And I mean every words I say, after I said that he began to scrambled gathering his things (including the new tent I bought) and running like Girantina themself after him.

Officer Jenny caught him before he leave the building tho, apparently one of the other trainer starts filming after they finished the call giving the officer the evidence she need to arrest the Karen.

So AITA?

#aita #pkmn irl #pkmn rp #ask #anonymous #am i the asshole #pokemon #pokémon #pokeblr #pokeblogging #pokeblog rp

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thewordsinthevoid · 1 year

Text

Alright this is my THIRD time relistening to 5.1, lets dump ALL my thoughts then:

-first of all, one of the best opening story sequences. I love when unwell does this framing, and it is always well done. "We may be going home soon" is a line that disturbs the shit out of me, and once again unwell's sound design is absolutely incredible with all that the dogs do. I do also want to see silas get his teeth punched out.

-i could talk for hours about chester this episode. But i just want to say both the writing and pat kings performance were perfect for him. The way he aporoaches the house practicing what to say, and specifically stumbling through all their namea, then is immediately thrown off by the house being casual is so comedic and him. I really want to know how pat king manages to sound that pathetic, its amazing. Hes also amazing later in the episode where hes freaking out over norah and wes.

-"come in!" "Mrs. Harper? Its me? Chester Warren?" "What of me yelling come in didnt you understand?" The way the cast acts is so fhdjsjjdjdbsjs seeing dot tentatively accept chester is so nice, while she still keeps bullying him a bit throughout the episode. Its such a good dynamic on full display.

-abbie is a bastard. Its perfect.

-"lily-an"

-"i can eavesdrop from here!" "Tell him to speak up!" AND THEN CHESTER ACTUALLY TALKING LOUDER IS FHDJDKSKNFNDA. Once again character dynamics are shining this entire episode, and having chester play the straight man to their antics is a good role for him.

-"i dont know how to proceed!" Have you ever met a man so pathetic-

-chester is a 24/7 mental breakdown at this point. Yeah this is what i wanted from season 5.

-i should write a fic where chester reads rudys will and all that-

-When you arent exactly a found family because you fell apart and didnt know each other long enough but in the end your the only person left to stand over their body-

-Abbie getting their character development shown off this ENTIRE EPISODE we're so proud of them learning to handle their own emotions.

-also lily WES IS A KID TF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???? Like yeah hes a ghost but come on. Tinee.

-chester refusing to enter the house is such a good character detail. My guy needs help.

-and now we're at the norah scene where she needs SO MUCH THERAPY

-once again applause for the sound design making Norahs voice have an interesting echo that isnt distracting!

-dot immediately asking Norah to stay there in rudys room absolutely made me and my friend start screaming at her. Im glad it turned out well but we both kind of just had a spittake

-btw dot actually sticking to joking about norah being her daughter is cute and hilarious. Like yee girl you got found familied

-wes being the only one to grive the way chester knows how to handle is so fucking funny to me actually-

-now this is the point of the episode for me that i freak out for. Chester not remembering ghosts or wes. I have a lot of general thoughts about this episode regarding it and 4.12s status, but i will say this specific scene mightve been good to include at the start of the new season rather than the end of last because i genuinely dont remember if wes and chester know each other. Im sure they should, and im sure chester does know about ghosts, but its been months since i heard the last few episodes, so i start to question my own knowledge. Its so unsettling and uncomfortable and i think seems like a good point of tying an audience effect to the plot. Like, its good metatextualy. And if im completely wrong and chester wasnt meant to know these things then. Idk. Bully me in my askbox

-regardless, once again im applauding pat king for the best, most pathetic performance ive ever seen

-chester and abbie getting into a theological debate is the type of content i need while im being forced to take a terrible theology class

-the mugs as a joke in this episode are goddamn hilarious. Its also nice how they manage to make some history with it, despite the audience not seeing it, its more in the little things of dot and lily joing its bc "shes fancy" in such a way it feels like they both know the joke. Its nice. Also wes getting fenwood house!!!!

-the way they manage to audibly convey dot walking over, snatching the alcohol of chesters hand, and drowning it is fucking skillfull and hilarious

-lily and norah getting the final mourning scene broke me. Norah crying broke me. I have nothing really to say about that scene other than it was good and made me wanna cry.

-the rain beginning is terrifying me. I am so ready for this season i am so hyped.

-FINAL THOUGHTS:

- if i could start season 5 in any way, it would be like this. This is all i wanted and more. The character dynamics and cast performances that (for me) are the pinnacle of unwell are on full display, its acknowledging a life changing event from the last season, and everything that happens in the episode is incredibly gripping on a character level

-the episode i think masterfully balances both a tone of mourning and humor, often getting into some darkly humorous places, and seems to be a concerted effort by the entire team to balance it. The writing, acting, design, all really make this tone work.

-can i keep mentioning the acting? The actors are incredible

-i get the feeling this might be chesters last appearance. I dont want it to be, but this feels like it could also be a send off to his character, and i wouldnt blame the writers if they did so, just so they had a smaller cast to focus on in the finale. I hope chester returns though, hes somehow become a bright spot in the show for me, and i blame his actor

-im also very concerned for what will happen to lily this season. Shes definitely struggling a lot with guilt, and i dont think shes going to be making the best choices. Regardless, i love her and norahs friendship, and she and chester also got a weird friendship that i think should lead the two to try to kill silas together.

-for my final thoughts, i deleted what i wrote about this and 4.12, but to summarize, i just hope the writers didnt feel pressured to write this episode, but that this episode serves as a good leadin to the rest of the season.

-i loved this episode, and it has already become one of my favorite. Unwell season 5 is delivering!

#unwell podcast #unwell a midwestern gothic mystery #my thoughts on this episode can honestly be summarized by me jumping up and down on my bed screaming

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fangirlstorycreator · 11 months

Text

And this is part 3 bestie 🤗💚 @larabiatasstuff

When you got home, your father and his men arrived shortly after, he didn't find any evidence of the vampire, and he wasn't in the best mood. "I give you one simple job and you couldn't carry that out, your useless!" "Its not my fault the ground broke beneath my feet!" "Why didn't you do what you were sent to do?!" "Well maybe I didn't want to do it!" The tent falls silent for a moment, you feared what your father would say back. "What did you say? You didnt want to get that vampire!" "All I wanted was some semblance of a bond with you, that's why I took this on! But why should I kidnap an innocent vampire to make you happy?" "Innocent?! No vampire is innocent! They are all blood sucking heartless creatures who dont understand reason! They all deserve to burn!" "Why?! Because you say so? This war is all because of you and the fact that you hate anyone and anything that's diffrent to you! I've had enough father! I cant do this anymore!"

"Excuse me?" "I'm not going to be a hunter, I'm not going to carry on with your little errands you send me on, I dont want to be like this, like you!" "Well good luck with that! It seems you cant do anything, even walk with that foot of yours! And even when your foot is all better, who is going to take you in hmm? We are the only humans around and now because of the way you just spoke to me, you will no longer be welcome hear! I will show you the little mercy I have, and allow you to stay until you can walk. But as soon as that day comes....you are banished from hear, and from this moment forward...I have no daughter!" He storms out of the tent leaving you to cry your heart out, how could he do this to his own daughter? He truly was a cruel man, a real monster. You manage to go back to your tent at the far end of the camp, away from everyone else, you had a walking stick to support yourself on, but it was still painful when you walked. It was the dead of night and all the other men were in the centre of the camp all enjoying drinks and having a laugh, so you were completely on your own.

You sat down on your bed in the big and spacious tent, and buried your face in your hands as more waves of tears flowed through you, but a noise stops you in your tracks. It's the noise of your tent door pulling to the side, and out of nowhere, you get a very unexpected visitor. "V-Valek?! What are you doing hear?! Its too dangerous, you have to go!" But he doesn't fight, he doesn't answer you, he just looks at you. "What are you looking at? Valek please you have to go" He kneels down infront of you, wipes away some tears from your cheek and gently pulls you in for a hug. You didn't realise how starved of touch you were, and how much you needed this right now, you instinctively hug him back just as tightly, crying on his shoulder from all the pain you had experienced, you were pleased to see him again, and so happy that you were able to feel something happy for once.

"Y/N, I heard what your father said in the tent, please listen to me when I say this. He is wrong about you, he doesn't deserve you as a daughter, you shouldn't waist tears over him" "Your right, I know your right. It's not just him though, I crying because this still hurts. And I dont have anything that can help with the pain" you say pointing down to your foot. "What if I was to help you?" "What do you mean?" "Do you remember when i told you I had many abilities? Well one of then was healing saliva, remeber?" "Oh Valek, no that's ok. You've already done enough for me, you saved me in the cave, you've come back to see me-" "And now I wish to help you Y/N, it pains me to see you hurt this way. Please? Let me help you" Your still a little weary of all of this, and a tear runs down your cheek again. "What's wrong?" "Its just....I'm not used to this" "Used to what?" ".....someone caring about me, thinking about what I need. I'm not used to it..." "Well, that's about to change Y/N...now just hold still for me"

He carefully lifts your foot, it's just around the ankle where the pain and swelling is, he gives you a smile before he presses his lips to the tender skin. It stings at first, but the more he does it, the less painful it is, until its practically numb, which was a welcome change to the stinging pain you had before. The swelling had gone down and it felt a lot better, but it was still too painful to walk on. "Thank you Valek, I dont know how I can repay you for this" "I know how you can, I wish to talk to you again tomorow night, if you'll have me" "Aren't you worried you'll be seen? It's the human hunters camp, it's like being in the lions den" "I dont care, I wish to be around you, help you get better....and know you..." He was being so sweet, you knew your father was wrong about vampires, especially when it came to Valek. You agreed and that's exactly what he did, every night from then on, he would sneak onto the camp and spend time with you in your tent, away from anyone else. As your father had told the hunters about you being banished, noone was to go near you, and you were happy with that, because it meant you and Valek would be away from danger. During these nights, Valek would continue to help ease your pain, both on your ankle and emotionally, and you ended up feeling very close to him, so much so that being around him was all you ever wanted.

One night about a week later, your foot was all better, and Valek had come by the tent as usual. "Oh my dear Y/N, your all better!" "And it's all thanks to you Valek, if it wasn't for you I don't know what I would do" "Well you would be bedridden a lot longer due to-" "I don't mean that you idiot!" You both laugh at your little comment. "I mean if I had never met you...my life would have been so difffent, and it wouldnt be half as wonderful as it is now" He gives you a warm smile as he walks up to you, looking into your eyes with those piercing blue windows to his soul. His hands delicately strokes your cheek, and he leans in close to you, slowly and gently pressing his lips onto yours, the feeling of his soft inviting lips were like magic against yours, you had never been kissed like this before, it felt like you were weightless as he held you in his arms, and yours wrapped around his shoulders, deepening this already incredibly passionate kiss. You couldn't stop looking into his eyes when you both pulled away, he was so beautiful. "Come with me Y/N" "What?" "Leave this place and come to stay with me. I'll keep you safe, make you feel wanted, show you the love you deserve" "Are you sure? What about the other vampires? How would they feel about a human amongst them?" "You think your the first? Many humans have lived amongst us over the years, many of the other vampires have human mates and love them dearly. Come with me, and I can give you anything you desire...." "You....I desire you Valek" "And my beautiful treasure....my heart is yours"

Later that evening, Valek was waiting at the edge of the forest for you while you collected your things. You got everything you could need and put it on your horse, walking it over to your fathers tent. "Its a shame you weren't the daughter I'd hoped you would be. The perfect vampire hunter" "I would rather be a strong independent woman with her own mind, than a hunter under your command" "Then that's your choice...leave, and never come back" You climb onto your horse and are about to turn and leave, just as your father says something to you. "Unless....you beg for forgiveness. Then I may consider allowing you back" "I would beg for death before I begged to be within metres of your cruel and heartless soul again. Remember that..." And with that, you trot out of the camp and on through the night. Its another half an hour until you reach the edge of the forest where Valek is waiting for you. "Are you alright my treasure?" "Yes, I'm better than alright. I'm finaly free" "Come down for a moment my treasure, I wish to show you something" he gives you his hand as you climb off your horse, and he leads you to a cliff edge, showing the land infront of you with the moon and stars shining like diamonds above you.

"You are no longer confined to that camp anymore, the world is all hear for you to see, to explore, anything you wish is yours. Before I take you to the castle, is there anything you wish to do?" Your feeling so happy inside and smiling from ear to ear, that you cant get any words out, but you know exactly what you want to do. You turn to him and pull him in for a passionate kiss, the emotions you were feeling and the soft feel of his lips and tounge were everything you could ever want to feel right now, and you could tell he was feeling the same way. He lifts you up and presses you against the tree, kissing your neck and holding your hips as he grinds against you. Your hands pull his black jacket away, then his black shirt revealing his muscular pale chest before you, and he does the same, pulling your shirt off of you, then his lips find the soft warm skin of your breasts. He feels so good against your skin, it made you shiver with anticipation as he kisses and licks anywhere he can.

He pulls you away from the tree as he sits himself on the enormous boulder, having you on his lap, then his hand slides into your trousers, pulling them away from you so now you were completely naked. You unzip his trousers and pull them down too, releasing his rock hard cock. His lips find yours again in a passionate embrace as you position yourself on top of him, and slowly slide down over his cock. "Oh my beautiful treasure, you feel so good" "You do to Valek" He starts moving your hips back and forth against his groin, making you feel amazing as he f#cks you over and over. The feeling is so intense that one hand grabs and leaves scratch marks along his back, and the other is making a fist in his dark thick wavy hair, desperate to hold onto him as your orgasm pulses through you. It's like a wave of electric pleasure flowing through you, it even leaves you week and shaking against him as he hold you, slowly coming down from your high just like he is. "I've wanted to be with you for so long Y/N, this was an amazing experience we've shared" "I couldn't agree more Valek, I needed you so much" You both let out a breathed laugh before sharing another kiss, with the moon and the stars shining around you, making the whole moment as beautiful as you could have ever wished.

#thomas ian griffith #sensei targaryen #jan valek #jan valek x reader #our majestic vampire king 👑

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mountttmase · 4 months

Note

We're already halfway, omg I'm emotional🥺

Your tummy had been churning since you woke up. Partly from the nerves of today but also from thinking about what you and Mason had gotten up to last night. The way he'd handled you with such roughness but praised you at the same time had made you head spin and you could feel your knees buckle as you thought about his wet body pressed tightly to yours. WELL GOOD MORNINGGGG

‘Okay well Mason overslept so him and the boys are gonna follow on once he’s ready. I thought we could go for a little early girly breakfast with the others’ WHO KNOWS WHY HE OVERSLEPT 🤭

‘Don’t you start’ Mason groaned, trying to fit himself onto the sofa next to you before picking up your glass of orange juice so he could take a big gulp. OMG HE DRUNK FROM HER GLASS🤭

‘I was exhausted when I got to bed last night and I must have forgotten to set an alarm for today’ he explained, reaching for the half eaten croissant on your plate and taking a bite out of the end. HE ATE HER FOOD, MASON YOU DONT HAVE TO TOUCH OTHERS FOOD😂

‘S’alright. Never as good as yours though’ CUTIEEEE

‘Where do I pay’ you suddenly heard behind you, Carly rummaging through her bag to try and find her purse but you managed to stop her before she emptied her whole bag out. I LOVE CARLY HAHAHAHAHAH

‘I’m sorry, what the hell are you wearing?’ Mason asked quietly after everyone had moved to the front of the boat and it was finally just the two of you. His face was unreadable and you weren’t exactly sure what to say. I KNOW HE IS IN AWE BUT THIS SOUNDED MEAN MASE

‘You don’t make this easy for me Muffin, you know that right? How am I meant to act like I don’t wanna fuck your brains out every time I look at you when you’re gonna be walking around like this all day’ he told you with a smile and you realised it wasn’t the fact he didnt like what you were wearing, he actually liked it a little too much. ‘I mean what even is this?’ He laughed, fingers gripping the material that hung on your hips. YEAH YOURE FORGIVEN😂

‘Let’s just try and keep it in our pants, yeah?’ SURE

‘I’ll try’ he huffed, pulling back to look at you and the blush across his cheeks made your heart thump. ‘Will you help me with my sun cream?’ NAUGHTYYYY

‘Yeah I’m coming. Y/n promised to get some shots of us’ Mason explained, helping you up so you could join them on the side but he found you somewhere safe to sit so you wouldn’t fall in if the boat swayed about too much. I LOVE HOW CARING HE ISSSSS

‘Oh that? It’s nothing I just uh- I dropped my shower gel last night and it hit me in the chest’ he lied but you could tell none of the other boys believed him. AHHAHAHAHAHAH I LOVE HIM AND THE FACT THAT SHE SIDED HIM

He was trying to impress you, each jump higher and more dangerous than the last and each time he hit the water you felt your heart thump in fear but his little smile as he surfaced always made you feel better. HE IS JUST A BABY AHHAHAHA

You watched him carefully, his towel thrown over his head like a tent as he smiled down at you cheekily but you were slightly distracted watching the stray drops of water travel down his perfect body until they got lost in the waistband of his shorts. You knew he was looking at your mesmerised face and before you knew it everyone began to laugh as he came and laid directly on top of you. HE IS JUST A BABY PT.18161718 BUT HE IS ON TOP OF HER...WITH EVERYONE AROUNDDD

‘Hey I’m not that heavy’ he moaned, slyly kissing your neck out of the view of everyone else before placing his lips by your ear. ‘Do you ever get sea sick?’ MASON WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

‘Do you think you could pretend?’ He asked, sliding off you a little so he could rest on his arm and look down at you. HE DIDN'TTTTT AHHAHAHA

‘I think it's just a little bit of sea sickness, I’m sure it’ll pass’ you smiled but Mason's head was popping up instantly. Ready to get in on the action and make out like you were worse than you were so he grabbed a water bottle and came and sat next to you again. SHE IS A PROPER ACTRESS

‘You look pale as anything’ he told you, placing a hand on your forehead and making a concerned face. ‘Maybe I should take you inside for a bit, grab you some water and we can stay out of the sun until you start feeling better’ SURE

‘You two gonna be alright? Dec asked, an unreadable tone to his voice but Mason was quick to jump in and reassure him. HE KNOWSSS

‘Come on Kate Winslet, i’ll sort your Oscar out later’ he teased but as soon as you made it downstairs you realised there would be an issue. SILLY

‘This is our only option, come on it’s fine’ he laughed, opening the door and ushering you in. The bathroom was pretty nice and you watched him sit the lid of the toilet down before taking a seat and tapping his thighs. ‘I know it’s not the height of luxury but I’m desperate’ HE IS REALLY DESPERATE OMG

‘Come on muffin, you know what to do’ he teased, the cheeky smirk on his face driving you wild but you just stood looking at him with your lip trapped between your teeth. HIM USING THE NICKNAME MUFFIN EVEN IN THIS SITUATION? AND HE WANTS TO CONVINCE ME THAT HE ISN'T IN LOVE

‘Can I have a taste first please Masey?’ You asked sweetly, taking him in your hand as you looked up at him through your lashes and a sense of pride filled you at the way he was looking at you. His mouth slightly agape as if he wasn’t sure you were being serious but as you began to press kisses to his thighs he nodded his head. Looking on in awe as you licked a long stripe up his length before taking him into your mouth. I GASPED

That were his good girl and he couldn’t wait to have you so you figured you’d put him out of his misery and came off of him with a pop. HIS GOOD GIRLLLL

‘Where are you two?’ Dec called, his voice far away but closer than you wanted it to be and the pair of you looked at each other in shock. Almost frozen in fear as if you didn’t know what to do but thankfully Mason took over to try and bail the two of you out. OMG NOT NOW

He was cut off by the feeling of you rolling your hips on top of him. Not caring the Dec was outside the door and this could possibly end very badly but you wanted to teach him a lesson for dragging you down here so he could get his own away. OMG SHE DID NOT

‘I’m fine, just not good with sick. We’ll be back up soon just keep out the way for now’ Mason pleaded. Hoping that would be enough for him to go and before long you both heard him walk back up the steps and shut the door causing you to look at each other again with stupid smiles as you let out a moan in unison. OMG HAHAHAHAHAH I LOVE THE

Thankfully for you, Mason wasn’t far behind you. Your high inducing his own and once you’d calmed down he pulled you into a hug and you both sat there for a few minutes in each other’s embrace as you got your breath back. His fingers trailing across your skin lightly before he nuzzled into your neck so you could hold each other tighter. Both content in the other’s embrace and not caring if it was allowed or not. RULE BREAKKK🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨

‘Remember you're sick when you’re up there. Don't blow our cover’ 🤭🤭🤭

THE KISS ON HER CHEEK 🥺

You couldn’t deny you loved it though, feeling like he was claiming you in front of everyone. Like you belonged to someone and when your eyes met his repeatedly throughout the night you felt the excitement rush through you knowing what you’d done earlier and what you could still do when you got back. THEY ARE ALREADY A MARRIED COUPLE

‘I mean there’s definitely something sweet I’ve been thinking about eating all day but I think I’ll have to wait till we’re back at the villa to enjoy it’ MOUNT, THAT'S TEASING IN PUBLICCCCC

‘What? There’s a slice of cheesecake in the fridge I got when we went shopping. I’ve been saving it’ he told you before dragging your chair a little closer to his. ‘I’m sorry, Muffin. You wanna split one?’ SILLY BOY

‘Oh don’t be like that’ he laughed, hand creeping over your thigh as he moved his head next to yours. Dropping a kiss on your cheek as no one could see you both now but it only made you blush even harder. ‘Come on, you pick what you want and I’ll just eat whatever you leave’ ALL THOSE CHEEK KISSES????

‘Looking at the puds. Its dark in here I couldn’t see’ Mason defended before his eyes shot back to the menu. Trying to make it look like he was carrying on what he was doing before but you knew he was acting and it took all of your power not to laugh at him. I LOVE HOW HE ALWAYS HAS A SILLY EXCUSE READY

‘Is there something you two wanna tell us?’ Dec laughed, waving his fork in between you and you felt your face flush as everyone turned to look at you both. HE KNOWSSSSS THAT'S WHAT HIM AN D Y/N WERE TALKING ABOUT IN THE TEASER

‘We’re the only two single people here, yeah? What do you want us to do? Third wheel you guys all the time? We’re just talking Dec, can you not? You making y/n uncomfortable now stop it’ Mason told him, trying to defend the pair of you as you had been acting innocently for the most part over dinner and now you felt like you weren’t allowed to even look at Mason without someone saying something. OH BUT I LOVE THIS MAN

‘Please just ignore him, he thinks he’s funny and he’s not’ Mason told you quietly and even though you tried to send him a reassuring smile, you didn’t feel like you could talk to him how you were before. Choosing to walk home with Carly and Ben so no one thought anything else was going on but you knew Mason had pulled Dec aside to have a go at him as soon as you got back. OMG THAT MADE ME SAD🥺 BABIES

‘No it’s not. Mase told me you’re finding it difficult being here with all the couple’s and you’d made a pact to stick together so I’m sorry for making you feel weird about it’ he explained, taking a seat at the island and you could sense he wanted to talk further about it so you took up the seat opposite him. ‘Truth is, I’d love for him to be with someone like you. He’s been single for a while but he picks all the wrong people, it’s exhausting’ he laughed, eyes lighting up in humour as you laughed along with him. ‘I just think you could be what he needs, but I’m sorry for pushing it, I bet I sound insane’ I HATE DECLAN, BUT THIS DECLAN IS OK😂😂😂

The biggest smile on his face now that you were back with him as you popped his fresh bottle on the table in front of him. Your heart giving a thump as he wrapped his arm around the back of you and pressed a barely there kiss to your temple. ANOTHER KISS🥺🥺🥺 I LOVE THEMMMM

Mason kept his arm around the back of you the whole time and eventually you forgot Dec’s words from earlier. But for Mason it had only made him want to tease you even more it seemed, dropping his arm from the chair so it was draped around your back as he secretly stroked his fingers up and down your waist. HE IS A BIG TEASE, I LOVE IT

‘You look really nice l tonight, by the way’ he whispered. Your face heating up immediately as you weren’t used to compliments like this from him. He’d never said anything of the sort the whole time you’d known him and you did all you could think of and tried to deflect and be silly with him. OMG FIRST TIME HE COMPLIMENTS HER 🤭🤭🤭🤭

‘It’s this new one, I tried it at the beginning of the week actually’ he told you with a cheeky smirk and you wondered what game he was playing. ‘I’ve been looking at it and wanting to try it for a while but I finally got a taste the other day and now I just want it all the time’ OMG OMG OMG

‘Mhmmm’ he drawled, squeezing your hip teasingly and you knew exactly what he was talking about ‘I think i might have a serious problem’ YOU HAVE A SERIOUS PROBLEM MASE

‘No way, it’s my cheesecake this week’ he teased and even though the pair of you were laughing together you felt weird at him specifying it was this week only. OH I LOVE THAT SHE IS SAD EVERY TIME HE SAYS ITS JUST FOR THE WEEK

‘Not even a little bit’ you replied, winking as you took another sip of you drink. ‘Me and the girls have got plans to play a few drinking games’ I LOVE THAT TEASE AHHAHAHA

‘Sweet dreams, Mase. See you in the morning?’ you smiled, kissing his cheek but not waiting for his reply as you made your way back over to where the girls were sat. There were no plans for any drinking games but he didn’t need to know that. You were just waiting to see how long it would be before before he text you to join him or if that didn’t happen then you’d surprise him but the more worked up he was getting the better. SHE IS TEASINGGGGG

15 MINUTES AHHAHAHA

‘I want you to strip for me’ he told you seriously, ignoring the little laugh that came from you at his suggestion but it only to a moment to realise he was being serious. OMG

‘Nuh uh. Keep the shoes on’ OHHHHHH

‘Patience is a virtue, Mason’ you teased, sticking your thumbs under the waistband of your underwear so you could tug them down, your hips swaying from side to side a little as you pulled them lower before you bent over for him so you could drop them to the floor and step out of them. I LOVE HOW SHE FEELS SAFE AND SECURE AROUND HIM

‘Get yourself started and I’ll help you in a minute okay?’ He told you lowly. ‘I wanna watch you first’ OH MY GOD OK🥵🥵🥵

‘I swear to god Mason if you don’t-‘ HAHAHAHAHA OPS

‘I think you need teaching a lesson young lady’ he laughed, licking his fingers before kissing your thigh again. 'A few times yes. Then you’ll know how I felt having to come here in my own and wait for you’ MOUNTTTTT

IT'S HIS PRAISING FOR ME

Even if it was just for a week. THSI HURST EVERY TIME

OMG

LOZZZZ

HIW CAN THIS BE BETTER EVERY TIME I READ A NEW CHAPTER?

I LOVED HOW HE ATE AND DRUNK HER BREAKFAST, IT WAS SO COUPLE CODED, EVEN IF NO ONE TOUCHES MY FOOD😌😂

I LOVED HOW HE MADE SURE TO NOT MAKE HER UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN THEY ASKED HER TO GET IN THE WATER

HIS SILLY EXCUSE FOR THE HICKEY🤭

THE BATHROOM SCENEEEEE OMGGGGGGGGG AND THEM HAVING A LITTLE CUDDLE ONCE THEY WERE DONE????

AND THE DINNER? THEY CHOOSING THE DESSERT? ALL THE TEASING? DECLAN UNDERSTANDING EVERYTHING?

I LOVED THE CHAT BETWEEN Y/N AND DECLAN

AND THE SMUT???? OMG I GASPED

BESTIEEEE YOU'RE MAGIC OMG, I LOVED IT ALL

CAN'T WAIT TO READ CHAPTER 5 AND TO KNOW WHAT NEW RULE THEY'LL BREAK😂🤭🤭🤭

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR TAKING THE TIMW TO WRITE AND SHARE THIS MASTERPIECE 🩷🩷🩷🩷

THANK YOU SO MUCH BESTIE

Honestly every time we’re reminded it’s this week I wanna cry like what so you mean you’re not getting married?

They are cheeky cheeky babies and they’re getting so confident with each other and growing I’m just 🫠

YOU’RE SO SO SWEET THANK YOU

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lostacelonnie · 9 months

Note

Definitely understandable i easily lose the energy to talk with people when i have to interact with family. So you're good. Ah yes the dont worry about it approach my favorite. Especially when what you do in regards to you is your business. Well between last message & now i forgot so thats a good indicator of how thats goin. Beaches over here are hit & miss but the closer ones to me arent as popular thankfully. Hm. What is a2 knowledge & how is it getting worse? I adore colder climates heat is not kind to me at all. Tents are. Well. Some are decently priced depending on how big of one you get. Oh i definitely recommend going with friends its a lot of fun. Ive been slacking a bit on the game but so far clara is workin for me. Probably wont have enough for kafka. Oooh good luck to you with all your pulls. Story spoilers aren't a major thing for me because the how is always still fun. Definitely understand some just dont want em at all. Every time i try minecraft im like. Never sure what i want to do. So kudos to you for stickin with the game & having fun. Smaller cities are nice love having close stuff without being in like. A big city. Ah dang i hope you find that dye again in the future. Makeup is hard it should be easier for those who wanna wear it. Ive been so busy i missed. So many events whoops. Problem of bein stuck level gaining to continue story. Motivation is hard to come by. I busy myself reading or looking up new science discoveries when i dont wanna leave my room.

thankies ahdhfjfj!!! and, once again, apologies for the late reply. my grandma fortunately left a while ago but i was feeling Cranky and didnt wanna sound Annoyed With Existing ahdjfh. still kinda dying inside since i return to school in 2 weeks but fuck it we ball we stay silly etc. COMING BACK. yeah like "nobodys gonna know-" "theyre gonna know." "how would they know". and understandable sjdkfgjk consider this your reminder then. and ahh fair i live pretty far away from the sea so i dont really know good Spots i guess. BUT i do like lake beaches since theyre way more quiet most of the time. and basically im not exactly sure in how many countries it applies, im thinking most of europe? but essentially language knowledge here is divided by levels, a1 -> a2 -> b1 -> b2 -> c1 -> c2 with c2 being the highest. and well i guess theres also a0 but thats just when you start. a2 is just speaking Basic English, so like enough to survive if you go to an english speaking country but not much more. for reference, by tests ive done, my level is like between b2 and c1 so very decent but i dont know most of the "fancier" and more specific words. and with it "getting worse" i mean that [at least from what our teacher told us] the textbooks are getting easier and easier so people are leaving school not actually knowing almost anything. yeah SAME its been so hot here recently so ive been Suffering. and yeah i know but me and my mother dont really know if its a good idea to buy one since we dont really go camping anyway. but maybe when im an adult im gonna get more into it, esp if i have ppl to do it with. and ah thats nice to hear!!! i DID manage to get kafka and her lightcone so ive been having fun with her recently. actually overpowered. tho i heard shes quite f2p friendly. and oh understandable!! i unfortunately used to be on tiktok where they spoil EVERYTHING and its impossible to avoid so ever since then ive been extra careful. tho i kinda feel that way ab fontaine rn [cos i ended up actually being kinda interested] since i cant download it rn but still am excited 4 the story despite knowing little unconnected bits. and fair, minecraft def isnt for everyone but its very good for chilling out at least to me. rn im procrastinating on beating the ender dragon so im just maxxing out my gear rn. and yeah but im still gonna see whether or not i wanna live a long way from my family. oh well i still have time. also thanks!!! i have not been successful yet but i bought another dye so im gonna keep you updated on that. and ahhhh understandable, ive been Grinding so i didnt have that problem sjfkg i should build my sampo but. ah. i hate grinding artifacts. pretty excited for the 1.3 simulated universe update tho!!! esp since im really curious about the aeons so seeing more of the propagation is sth im looking forward to. but good luck!!! and VERY real i like doing wikipedia deep dives esp about marine animals. im a fishpilled oceancel but i unfortunately suffer from Not Remembering Anything Ive Read Ever.

#also ive been playing a lot of rain world lately!!! terribly hard but in a fun way #asks #pen pals

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knoxnoox · 1 year

Text

My hair is longer now

This year has been the hardest

It has been good

I feel new

I miss S

Last time we saw each other it was for one hour

That was 7 months ago, in Mexico

Before that it was a year, in a writing class

It was a coincidence

He didn't come back after the second class

I read in front of everyone something I wrote only to him

Just to let him know how much I missed him

He didn't come back

He didn't

I miss him everyday

Before that, it was three years ago

In San Francisco

He holded me all night

He was nice to me, not very usual of him

He hold me tight and told me he cared about me

I didn't see him or talked to him for a long time

She doesn't allow it after finding naked photos of me in his camera

It's complicated

We spent 2 months together in California

We had separated tents but we always ended up sleeping together

We never had sex there

We almost kissed once

I miss him so much

I just wish I could spend one night with him

Just talking

We could really talk for hours

And hours

About pretty much everything

We used to live together as friends

But sometimes we fucked

It was terrible

He was in love with her so he fucked me careless

Just fucking because he was horny

Or because he wanted me to be her

I always cried when he fell asleep

We used to sleep together almost every night

Until one day I got my new mattress and started sleeping in my room

My ex died of an epileptic seizure

S is also epileptic

I was traumatized that he slept alone

So I checked on him a few times every night to see if he was breathing

My ex died because he was sleeping alone

He choked with his tongue

I loved him very much

The day that he died I was telling S about him

I never talked about him

I almost saw him two days before

I didn't talk or heard from him in seven years

It still hurt

He was my first real love

We loved each other very much

It was beautiful

Until it wasn't

I don’t want S to die

Please don't die

I miss him, we were good friends

We had our own misfit group

With sorcery and dark music

We drew and took acid

We made videos

We played backgammon

I always lost

There was a pandemic

We did not care

We were dark

But we had a lot of fun

We laughed a lot

We drank wine

And beer

We had a pirate flag in the living room

We were going to build a red room upstairs

I gave him a guitar

We had a beautiful home

It was a home

An artist's home

We had a home

I left because he lied to me once

He went to visit her

When he came back me and my things were gone

I left because I was scared

I left because I didn't think he would ever love me

Like he loves her

I regret it sometimes

Maybe I should've stayed

He begged me to stay for many hours

I didn't stay

All my things were back at my mom's

I started dating his best friend

Something he always wanted me to do

So I did

I didn't want to be alone

It didnt work out, I think he likes men

Also he's not S

Neither is my other ex

My recent ex

He's S nemesis

He is also her ex

I knew all along who he was

I was curious

I got way to close

I moved in with him

I thought I loved him

I asked him babies

That's the exact moment I got sick

I thought that was love

I thought that was safety

I thought he was my family

He found out that I used to be in love with S

He went crazy

He never let me forget

He got drunk and reminded me how wicked I was

I believed it

He terrorized me and didn't let me leave his house

We lived in the middle of nowhere

I managed to leave once he was sleeping passed out drunk

But he went to get me and pulled me back

My mom was scared

I thought that was love

Nobody loved me for a long time

He loved me

He was obsessed with me

He was waiting outside my house for 12 hours

I ended up going back

He made me eat mushrooms once

And terrorized me while tripping

He called me a whore and a nymphomaniac

He started breaking my stuff and yelling that he was insane

I was scared but I managed to keep calm

I never pray

I prayed that he fell asleep

He did

Although he never slept

He took pills for that

He's an addict

He went crazy at night

He went in my computer once and found a letter I wrote to S one year before

I never sent it

It was a love letter

He also found a hate letter I wrote to him

Thats how he called it

It was not really a hate letter

It was neutral

He went mad

I thought he was going to kill me or kill himself

I never loved him

I was scared

He's no good

He doesn't sleep

That makes you crazy

The day I managed to leave after several fail attempts

He took my keys

There was a gun in the house

I was scared

I kicked him in the stomach

And took back my keys

I yelled to him that I hated him

I said goodbye to the dog with a big hug

I loved him, he was my guardian

My friend

I ran

I ran for my life and never looked back

That was the time I touched rock bottom

I think in a parallel reality he killed me and then he killed himself

I dont miss him

I never loved him

I'm in Israel now

I look much better

I've done a lot of work

I dont ever want to be in a scary situation

When I arrived I was so skinny my sister almost cried

I was weak and I was sad

I got sick

Chronic pain

For months I felt that nobody could ever feel this amount of pain and not die

Everyday I felt pain

In my womanhood

In my womb

All over my body

I said goodbye to the old me

And crossed the whole world to find some peace

I'm further away from S now

I'm closer to myself

And my sister

And my father

I saw S before I came

For one hour

I told him about his nemesis

I think he was worried about me

He told me I looked skinny

My hair was very short

I had black bags under my eyes

I felt I was going to die

I didn't want to spend the only hour we had by telling him how sad and weak I felt

Another failed relationship

This time I almost died

I'm here now

I'm much better

I gained weight

I have color in my cheeks

I feel happy

I almost don't feel pain anymore

I live alone in a gallery studio

I call it the tree house

It's my safe place

I live close to the beach

I walk dogs

I cook

I babysit

I sell bone broth

I get by

I do ceramics

I carve wood

I'm in a poetry reading circle

I'm running a film club

I feel inspired everyday

I'm an artist

It's great

I talked to my father after 12 years

I needed him

I needed my dad

He's good to me

He gave my a bike

I love my bike

He's really trying

We had a therapy session together

I've been in therapy for 9 months

It has really helped me

I feel new

I'm healing

I haven't kissed anyone in 8 months

I'm not ready

I haven't totally healed yet

I still have pain sometimes

I'm scared of sex

I feel awkward

I'm a misfit

I have friends

Good friends

Finally

I'm healing

Everything around me looks better

I'm not sure I miss S

I think is a ghost pain

Like when people loose a limb

I dont know him anymore

It's been a lifetime

I'm a different person now

I miss what we used to be

Whatever that was

But that doesn't exist anymore

I'm trapped in time

In that car

In one moment

I don't want to miss him anymore

I really want to move on

Meet someone new

Kiss new lips

Be held by new arms

I think we will always be in each other's hearts

It should stay there

In our hearts

And I need to move on

My hair is longer now

I almost don't feel sad anymore

I love dogs

I'm healing

Nox

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