#i do get what you mean i just tend to bang on toxic positivity more cause i face it in the small fandoms i don't belong to

[girlbob-boypants]

I use my likes as a bookmark function so I like personal posts to show people support and then unlike said posts a few days later so that's the context otherwise this might come off as more random. anyways. thinking of what you've said about toxic positivity and I have to say being in those circles, it does also get to the point where it feels like you cant even talk about the things you do like and why, because the mentality of just of "if you dont have the same views 1:1 to me then it's a personal attack" so it's more of a personal anecdote but those spaces are severely allergic to any serious discussion even if its positive criticism and analysis lmao

Listen I've got ADHD. "This might seem random but" is about how I start 90% of tangents.

As for the actual discussion, 500% yeah. While I mostly rant about toxic positivity cause it's most of what I deal with, toxic negativity can be just as prevalent. It's the main reason I even mentioned reddit in the tags of the post I think you're talking about. When the changes for the daily system in my current mmo came out, anyone who talked about the good things got accused of "forcing positivity" for the act of not making yet another post about how awful the bad parts of the system were (which they were but also the good parts were just as good as the had parts were bad. Its a fascinating duality)

But honestly go onto any internet connected multiplayer game reddit after a change and you'll see what I'm talking about. Criticism skews towards hateful and positivity is accused of being forced.

I just find that small fandoms within tumblr tend towards being very insular groups that expect positivity. Like to the point where someone in my main mmo apologized for saying "hey do not buy this because charging $20+ for this is downright predatory" because it was "negativity." The act of letting people know a business is trying to steal money with a pretty cosmetic you'll never see for more than 3 seconds at a time being considered negativity in a fandom is insane to me, frankly.

Which if I wanted to argue a cause with nothing but anecdotes, I'd say it likely comes from the way criticism of big name fans within small fandoms will often be met with a response of "Ugh I don't need this negativity in my happy place" regardless of the context or validity.

At the same time tho I 100% know what you mean by pushback against positive criticism even within those same spaces that I find toxic positivity to be prevalent in. Just look at the fact that "im a hater" posts get so many notes. No post about a personal belief can be rb'd on tumblr without easily influenced people altering their personas to fit it here (see: the way funny bitchy posts between friends getting popular and resulting in being rude to strangers). Saying you like something thats (fandom) universally accepted to be bad can be grounds for mockery etc.

At the end of the day it does boil down to what you said at the end, people hate any serious discussion of their favorite media, regardless of whether it's positive or negative. And any variance from the (perceived) fandom universal belief will result in pushback of some kind.

#girlbob.txt #im guessing this comes in no small part from your dealings in om spaces from what i remember of your favorite character and how he's treate #which i 500% get #searching the braham tag is just not a thing i do cause to this day people still say rotten things #and liking him is considered a personal flaw #but even beyond that just liking something that gets dunked on can be considered 'Forced Positivity' #which like. putting that term on the top shelf #anyway long answer to a short statement sorry #i do get what you mean i just tend to bang on toxic positivity more cause i face it in the small fandoms i don't belong to #but share a media with #like the time i said it's suspicious that both of the games DE has a hand in had really predatory mtx around the same time #and someone told me to go to reddit #which fuck that bootlicker first of all but the fact that was considered negative enough for that response lmfao #and god the mmos i like #i redacted this segment i've said so much already

[iamanartichoke]

This is neither eloquent nor organized. I’m very frustrated and I just need to get things off my chest. 

Please do not reblog this post. 

Cut for anti-Ragnarok discourse, pro-Ragnarok discourse, the Ragnarok discourse war, mention of Thorki, and general venting. 

I’m not using tags bc I don’t want this post to show up in them. Very sorry and if any of these things is one of your blacklists, please keep scrolling.

Yesterday, I read a fic.

I was wandering through some of the Thorki content on twitter, and followed a link to one of the big bang fics, bc it was a human AU and das my jam.

I didn’t recognize the author’s name. The fic was extremely well-written, though: lots of feels, beautiful narration, a sweet ending balanced with a lot of sadness. It was one of those fics that gave me a lump in my throat.

I was only going to leave kudos, but then I figured I’d take the extra five seconds and leave a comment, bc we all know how much authors like comments. I mean, I’d rather someone leave a comment than kudos, especially if the fic really affected them.I get it and I gotchu, fam. 

Anyway, so I left a comment and proceeded to click on the author’s profile to see what else they’ve written. As you do.

I recognized their AO3 icon, even though I didn’t recognize the name. I’d seen them around on some Ragnarok wank on tumblr. I went to double-check, and it was the same user, and also they’d blocked me.

I do not know this person. I have never spoken to this person. Yet they’ve gone out of their way to block me, most likely bc I associate with the anti-Ragnarok crowd. This happens to me a lot. I’ve even had a couple of former mutuals unfollow and block me (without saying anything to me) and those felt like punches to the gut.

I understand not wanting to see content that you don’t like or that upsets you. Everyone has the right to block whomever they wish. But I can’t deny that getting blocked like that – by someone I don’t know, let alone interact with – fucking hurts. I know it’s not that deep but I can admit it. It’s a shitty feeling and it’s hard not to take it personally.

It’s not really about this particular person at all, although it’s a shame bc they’re a good writer I probably would have followed otherwise. But this entire anti/pro Ragnarok war has gone so far and it’s exhausting. I stayed pretty neutral for as long as I could. 

And here’s the thing. My observations, both from being neutral and also being someone who, despite often being quietly blocked, tends to fly under the radar are this:

The majority of the negativity comes from the pro side.

Look, I side with and agree with the anti side on this one. I can admit, however, that sometimes it gets tiresome to see posts get turned into Ragnarok criticism or tiresome to see more posts on my dash about this that or another thing that sucks about Ragnarok and why. It, like anything, can be tiring.

But I also see that the anti side largely does its best to keep to itself. The pro side complained about the Ragnarok tags, so the anti side made an anti tag, and the pros still come into it to complain. The anti side will post their discussions and criticisms and they largely just circulate within the same group of people. The discussions are almost always criticisms on the source material (ie, the film) and not about anyone who enjoys it.

Now, maybe I don’t see everything. Though I don’t think I’m biased just bc I agree with the anti side – in fact, it was these attributes that made me take a closer look at what they were saying bc maybe they had a point after all. I don’t follow every anti Ragnarok user, but I do follow a lot. I can’t say personal attacks and whatever never happen - but, I hardly ever see them.

That’s not the case with the pro side. I don’t think I follow many from that side, but I see so much negativity from them. It’s like this kind of underhanded negativity that I’m not quite sure how to explain. It’s tonal negativity. 

I mean, sometimes it’s blatant. Name-calling (Loki stans, lackeys, pathetic, delusional, and racist come to mind) is an example. But more than that, there’s this collective tone among the pro side that smacks of condescension and I can’t stand it.

They make fun of the “dissertations” that have been written.

They always include an “lol” or laugh emoji or something to express that they’re not the ones taking this seriously.

They fall back on saying they don’t care about a two-year-old movie.

They’re laughing and making fun and at the same time acting like they’re so above it all.

They want us to just shut up already.

What it comes down to is this: it’s not just a matter of being able to agree to disagree because the pro side actively acts offended that the antis are even having these critical discussions, even if the antis have gone out of their way to not involve the rest of the fandom at all.

(Again, this is not every pro person, but the majority. Tone does matter online, and the overall tone of the pro side is not positive. I say this from a mostly neutral place.)

And here’s a thing about “oh my god, it came out two years ago, get over it!” Yeah, it came out two years ago. So fucking what? You guys are still engaging with it, via fics and headcanons and art. How old the movie is doesn’t matter when you’re having fun with it, but when someone wants to engage with it in a (valid) critical way that you don’t like? No. That’s unacceptable. That’s pathetic. That’s being a lackey. Get over it.

Even writing this, I know that things are much worse for others than they are for me. I get stealth blocked; others are called out by name in public posts, receive anon hate, and are actively targeted.

It’s just, this shit is so fucking toxic to this fandom and it honestly needs to stop. Both sides need to not only stop engaging one another, but also stop acknowledging one another. We get it: you either like the movie or you don’t.

Let people do their own thing. Don’t be fucking obnoxious. If you disagree and genuinely want to talk about it, then try to remember there’s a person on the other side of the screen and be civil. If you disagree and don’t want to talk about it, then just fucking don’t.

If you see a post you disagree with, scroll past. And, yes, block the person if you need to (and sometimes it might be me that needs blocking and I recognize my hurt feelings are my own personal problem, not whoever else’s).

There are a lot of movies in the MCU that are not perfect. (Btw, it baffles me a little to get hated on for my stance on Ragnarok, when I am so much more vocal [and emotionally invested] in hating the Russos and IW/Endgame – but, whatever.) There are a lot of interpretations of characters that are different. There are a lot of people who project their own identity or issues or whatever onto any particular character that resonates (and that’s okay!) and there are a lot of people who don’t project but still identify with a particular character (and that’s okay, too).

Stop judging whether someone is a “real” fan of a character/franchise or not. Just because someone isn’t engaging with the source material in the way you are, and just because they don’t see it in the same way that you do, does not make them wrong. (Yes, this applies to the pro side, too. None of them are wrong or less valid for enjoying and even stanning the movie.) It doesn’t make anyone better than anyone else here. 

Acting otherwise is honestly going to kill this fandom. Because it bleeds over. Fics will have less readers, bc they don’t want to interact with something posted by someone they dislike (or who blocked them). There’s less sharing of things like art and headcanons and content. People unfollow and block each other, people are having to watch what they say, people are losing friends (and potential friends) bc they may be a great person but they don’t agree with you about fucking Ragnarok.

I came to tumblr bc it was the only place where not only could I find other people who loved Loki as much as I did, but it was the only place where I could express that. Express it in fic, in headcanons, in meta. Being creative and starting dialogues and just interacting. I wish we could get that vibe back.

I wish none of this bothered me so much.

#again #please do not reblog this #i wanted to get this off my chest #i don't want this post to start any fucking wank #please excuse my lack of tags #i am sorry #heed the trigger warning at the top

[postmodernmulticoloredcloak]

I hope it's okay if I ask you a question. When I read what fans want for Sam and Cas, there's some really great stuff. For Dean, though, meta writers pretty much just focus on his sexuality and his relationship with Cas. Destiel is my OTP and I'd be over the moon if bi Dean finally accepted Cas' love. But there's more to Dean than just his relationships with Cas and Sam. I love your take on Dean so I was wondering - is there anything else you'd like to see for him this season and as end game?

Please always feel free to ask me questions!! It might take a while for me to answer because I am always fighting against time and time always wins -_-

Honestly when I talk about Dean’s sexuality I don’t really intend it as “strictly” about his sexuality in the sense of whom he bangs, but in a larger sense about identity and his way of perceiving himself and having a good relationship with who he is. It is a bit of a shorthand for Dean’s general sense of identity and way of relating to himself and others.

It’s a complex topic because different writers/showrunners over the course of the show seem to have written Dean from different perspectives on his relationship with sexuality. Fans have different ideas/headcanons of how Dean relates to his sexuality--a lot of fans read him as a repressed bisexual that doesn’t act on his attraction to men and possibly doesn’t even acknowledges it to himself, which is not the way I read him, I lean more on a John Shiban-era image of Dean as perfectly aware of being “different” and having a complex relationship with that, a mixture of pride and conflict. But it’s also true that the earlier season tend to portray Dean like that more than recent seasons have.

I am definitely not a fan of “everyone knows Dean is bisexual/in love with Cas but Dean”, which rubs me in a bad way especially when the focus is on “Sam knows” because the idea of Sam knowing Dean, and especially Dean’s sexuality, better than Dean does is something I’m really not into.

That said, yeah, I’m also a “Destiel shipper” in the larger sense of the word although sometimes I feel I’m more of a Dean fan to really fit in with the “mainstream” Destiel fandom (but not bitter enough to fit in with the bitter Dean fans...) which can be tricky because, for instance, right now I really don’t click with the most popular take on Dean and Cas’ “breakup” (you know, yas Cas dump his ass). I’ve also been through all those years when we discussed Dean and Sam’s relationship through the lens of the infamous “toxic codependency” to the point I don’t really feel the expression has a meaning anymore...

What I want to see for him is mostly find a healthy balanced way to... exist as himself. A way that works best for him. Of Dean’s “coping mechanisms” has been said so much over the years, not always in ways I agree with. “Healthy” and “unhealthy” are relative concepts when it comes to coping mechanism; the trauma is inherently bad, but the ways we cope with it have a margin of positive value for what help they can give us. Clearly something like drugs is “unhealthy” and one should make an effort to find a better alternative, but even “bad” coping mechanisms like alcohol and drugs are a way to self-medicate. A coping mechanism is a way we use to take care of ourselves, and Dean has been through a journey where he’s tried out different coping mechanisms and tried to find something that works best for him, with all the due relapses and regressions of the case. Look at the latest episode, or when he stayed holed in his room eating pizza - technically, it’s a “bad” attitude because he’s staying in the bunker watching tv and eating not the healthiest food the market offers, but he is taking care of himself. His life has been so filled with violence and abuse and lack of control, I would like if Dean weren’t so judged for indulgences.

I think I was going somewhere but went on a tangent...

Anyway, I think that Dean’s endgame should not require him to change much of who he is. The circumstances around him should change, not him. There’s not really a big lesson I think he needs to learn. He and Cas need both to work on their relationship, the fact they’re having issues is not solely on Dean. Just because Cas said I love you while literally dying doesn’t mean he did all he could and had to do for their relationship. The way some people paint it, it seems like Cas is so open about his feelings and love for Dean and Dean is a ball of repression that can’t say it back. Dean is dealing with things that go way beyond Cas right now.

Speaking of which, I think a fully complete endgame would have Mary alive, or, better, to be revealed not to be really dead. The hints are there, although of course they’re ambiguous enough that I’m not saying I’m convinced of it. But still.

Some might say that Dean needs to learn to let her go and deal with the trauma of losing her, but Mary has a significance wider than “the mom”, she belongs to a semiotic area of repressed femininity and the cosmic darkness and all that jazz (I never got the “Amara is witchcraft” reveal I was hoping for in the beginning of season 11, but we’ve been getting some interesting things in regards of witchcraft and alchemy and I can’t say I’m not content), and Eileen coming back from water makes me optimistic about our chances here, the latest few episodes have a mini-theme of fire versus water and we know what’s the most narratively important thing that burned in the show.

I’m not sure I answered your question, but I don’t really have a “wishlist”. Okay, if I really need to, I would be very very happy if the show explicitly linked John’s return with Chuck’s machinations, but if 14x13 was like that more because of external pressures than Dabb’s will, then they probably don’t want to dig it up again.

What are your thoughts?

#my spn thoughts #dean #spn #anon

[run2yamama]

R2YM - FIRST PERIOD ADVICE, TIPS & RESOURCES (PART 1)

Your first period can be scary and worrying , even traumatising if you begin at a much earlier age (some people start their periods early as age 8). but around 12 is the most common age. I know some of my friends really struggled WITH the support and guidance of their mum, so going through it without your mum is not easy by any means. Periods can last up to 5 days usually however there is a huge variation on this and this isn’t the rule at all. A period can be shorter than 5 days as well as more, everyone is different and you will get to know yours. When you first start you period, it isn’t just automatically regulated. You may not have one for a long time after or it could be quite random after your first one. This is ok and normal! It can take 2-3 years to regulate. They should then occur every 4-5 weeks, again not a rule and some get them less than this or more. I’m going to try my best to provide you with as much advice that I can from the beginning to end. This will include actual practical advice, because lord knows I really needed this; as well as emotional guidance. I’m here to tell you that it will be okay, you are going to be just fine and you absolutely got this. I’m sorry if you feel alone in this and I hope this can at the very least give you some guidance and reassurance. HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’RE GETTING YOUR FIRST PERIOD & ARE THERE ANY SIGNS?

Each and every body has it’s own schedule & there are many factors that can contribute to your body being ready/not ready to have it’s first period. These factors be diet, weight, stress and hereditary. I guess I would expect a mum to prepare her child in the way she knows best, ideally a combination of facts and reassurance. I guess this is what I want to emulate for you.

Knowing some signs you could potentially look out for as well as feeling prepared can make a huge difference for when you see that you have started your period.

Around 2 years after you begin to develop breasts, you could expect your first period. This is NOT by any means the rule, it’s just an indication and of course is not bang on the 2 year mark.

You may start to feel/see discharge in your underwear, it can be a mucus like fluid sometimes and can sometimes look dark brown or white (not always). This can also be an indicator and the discharge could start 6 months to 1 year before you get your first period. Once again though this is NOT a rule and you could get your period the day after, week after etc OR you might not go through this stage at all (this is the case for many, including myself).

Seeking medical advice is the best option IF you get to the 15/16 age mark and have still not started your period. It isn’t unheard of by any means for people to begin their periods closer to the 17/18 age mark however I would still advise getting yourself checked over.

DECIDING WHAT METHOD IS BEST FOR YOURSELF & STAYING PREPARED(SANITARY PADS/TOWELS, TAMPONS & MENSTRUAL CUPS)

This part is completely up to you! Sanitary towels are easier and relatively fuss free, especially for your first time because it doesn’t require much effort in terms of getting one on. For your first time you might not be comfortable with anything more invasive or ‘hands on’ in adjusting. You could opt for something organic as some tend to find that mainstream pads/tampons make their cramps/period flow worse due to chemicals being absorbed from them. It’s worth having a look around for something affordable and stocking up if that is something you’re thinking about. Regardless of the product you decide on you need to absolutely ALWAYS follow the rule of washing your hands before and after changing your pad/tampon/menstrual cup. I can’t stress this enough, I hope it doesn’t come across as patronising but you definitely don’t want any bacteria that lives on your skin/that you come in contact to entering your body via your vagina. Though this might be obvious to some, it won’t be to others especially if they haven’t had a nurturing mother-figure and there is no shame in that.

PROS OF SANITARY PADS/TOWELS – Easy to use -Fewer precautions to follow -Allows for natural vaginal cleaning -They can be worn overnight without worry (within reason) -Can be worn for just a light flow or spotting -You can wear one before your period is due to start so that you can avoid leaking/an accident -You can monitor your flow at regular intervals through the day, especially if you are new to periods. It’s definitely good to get to know and understand your flow/cycle -They are found in more stores globally than other products -There isn’t a specific risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome or TSS (will discuss below) like there is with tampons -If changed regularly and the right pad is used then you should be safe from leaks on the whole. Pads will have the ability to absorb different amounts of liquid so this is why also getting to know your flow is helpful. -You can get pads that are made from various materials, these can be re-used and has less of an environmental impact CONS OF SANITARY PADS/TOWELS -Unless you’re getting a pad that has the ‘diaper’ like feel to it, a regular/even thick pad is less likely to hold a really heavy/bad flow without you changing it often throughout the day –Also in relation to the above point, they can be uncomfortable/awkward with certain types of clothing (this is more for if you’re wearing a thicker pad) -There is the risk of it coming unstuck/gathering up in your underwear causing leaks -They do have a high environmental impact (disposable ones, not cotton) -More likely to experience odour, especially on a hot day, if working out or on a heavy flow and you’re not using the correct type of pad that day etc PROS OF TAMPONS –They are discreet due to them being inserted internally –They can prevent odour during use also due to being internal -More ideal for wearing during sports and activities like swimming -Can hold more liquid in one go than a pad can -Some say they can’t feel it at all if inserted correctly -You get a decent amount of them in a box (usually) CONS OF TAMPONS -Important precautions to follow as the consequences can be life threatening -Some people don’t find them easy to use, especially the first time -Tend to cost more than other menstrual products -Some people find that they still have to wear a pad if they have a tampon in, this can be down to flow, personal preference OR the wrong the tampon has the wrong type of absorbency -You can’t monitor your flow with as much ease if that’s something you would like to do/need to do -Said to make cramps/flow worse due to it being inserted internally & releasing the chemicals found in mainstream products directly -Unlike pads you can’t/shouldn’t really – insert a tampon as a preemptive option before you’re due on, wear one if you’re just having a really light flow/spotting or sleep with it in over night (definitely not this last one, some say all night is ok but for me personally it’s a no!) –Risk of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS) if you do not use tampons with the correct precautions (will outline below) -You do need to change them more often than you would with pads as the precautions state. Tampons used to be ideal because you could just ‘leave them in and forget about it’ but we are now more educated on Toxic Shock Syndrome and that just isn’t advisable or safe –They aren’t available globally or easy to find globally -Choosing tampons with the correct absorbency is important, going for ‘super-absorbant’ in the hopes of having to change it less frequently isn’t advisable either and this is where cases of TSS can occur PROS OF MENSTRUAL CUPS These are small, flexible and rubber/silicone cups. It doesn’t absorb your flow, it instead catches it. You have to fold it tightly to insert it (much like a tampon). You may need to rotate it into the correct position but it should essentially spring open once inserted and rest against the walls of your vagina in order to catch the blood. To take it out you just need to pinch it at the base which you will be able to feel, this will release the seal in order for you to remove it. -Though you can get disposable ones, most people opt for a reusable one. This means that it is very eco-friendly and in the long run significantly cheaper. I’m not saying you should keep it for years and years (some articles say you can if you are on top of keeping it clean) but you can get a lot of use out of a menstrual cup. -You can leave it in for longer (for 6+ hours – within reason and if you really need to) and is safer overnight because of this -Once you are confident at inserting it correctly you shouldn’t need a back up pad due to the seal the cup creates against the vagina wall -Good for heavy flows/more reassuring as menstrual cups tend to hold 1 ounce of liquid at least -Menstrual blood does get an odour when exposed to air so this helps to lessen that significantly due to the blood being contained -Less chance of Toxic Shock Syndrome than a tampon as you aren’t having to constantly change it and risk the spread of bacteria internally -May ease the worry/anxiety that some people get due to tampons and TSS CONS OF MENSTRUAL CUPS –It can cause irritation internally/externally, you need to be sure you aren’t sensitive to the materials these cups are made of. Some people are sensitive and may experience irritation regardless of what they use however irritation is more likely to occur with a cup than it is a pad or tampon –You NEED to be on top of keeping it clean and sterile so this requires more effort –It probably isn’t going to be easy to find the right fit and size, especially if you’re new to this. Age, flow and for some of my older readers – if you’ve had a child – can also be a factor in what will fit comfortably. If you have a tilted or low cervix (you will know, it makes trying to insert something internally slightly more difficult until you understand your body) this could mean a bit of trial and error with the cup –Some people don’t struggle with getting it in, it’s the removal that they find messy. Sitting and squatting and using your pelvic floor muscles to push and assist you is the way to get it out. You need to pinch the base to break the seal, and tilt it back or you will spill blood –Not as easy to deal with in public places, you need to wash it out and you’re not going to do that in a public sink really. Some take bottles of water with them and then wipe it down, I personally don’t enjoy the thought of doing that at all –Again if you’re new to periods, you might not want to end up in a messy situation in a public bathroom if you do try to remove it. Really get comfortable with it –Some worry that the cup will interfere with their IUD (for my older readers – a contraception device that is internal) this isn’t a fact at all, but does worry some people

INFORMATION ON TOXIC SHOCK SYNDROME (TSS) This section isn’t to scare anyone! It’s real life though. I feel that when you don’t have a mum you do miss out on HUGE chunks of information and parts of conversations that are being had around you. Even if you understand periods relatively well, this area often goes overlooked and it is so so important. 

This condition is rare BUT it is 100% a life-threatening condition. It can affect men and children but it is associated with tampon users, it is much easier to spread bacteria internally because of obvious reasons. TSS can get bad very very quickly and therefore it can be fatal if not treated within time. People who are able to catch it in time and are treated do usually make a full recovery. It is important to know that TSS is not spread from person to person and you DON’T develop an immunity to it. If you get it once, you can still get it again. The bacteria that can cause TSS are Staphylococcus or Streptococcus, they actually do live on our skin and in our mouth and nose HOWEVER once they enter our body internally there is an issue. They begin to release toxins that damage tissue and essentially stop organs working. CAUSES THAT ARE RELATED TO TAMPONS –Leaving tampons in longer than the recommended time in general –Using ‘super-absorbent’ tampons, encouraging you to leave them in longer but these are widely associated with TSS –Some are not thorough enough when washing their hands in between having to change their tampon. If you are making direct contact with your vagina several times a day WITHOUT precaution then this is an issue –Inserting more than 1 tampon is not the correct thing to do at all. Knowingly doing this when you are having a heavy flow for example is not advisable. –Forgetting you have a tampon in and inserting a new one on top of it. This is a familiar story that we have heard about many times over the years. A young girl is admitted into hospital on the brink of death due to TSS and the doctor finds 2 or 3 old tampons inserted that she has forgotten about HOW TO PREVENT TSS –Only use tampons that have the correct absorbency for your flow, you don’t need to always go for the most aggressively absorbent tampon –Alternate between pads and tampons whilst on your period. Tampons do have their pros but using them for your whole cycle isn’t always necessary –Wash your hands thoroughly before and after inserting a tampon, like really scrub your hands down as best as you can. If you could see what was on your hands with the blind eye you would be horrified – even more so if you could see what you may spread to your vagina! –Change your tampon often, don’t get lazy with it due to them being discreet and convenient –Never insert more than one tampon at the same time –If you want to wear one overnight, make sure it’s a fresh one right before you go to bed. As soon as you wake up in the morning you need to change it as a priority –Do not forget to remove your tampon at the end of your period –If you have had TSS before it is a good idea to avoid tampons SYMPTOMS OF TSS – THESE START SUDDENLY AND GET WORSE RAPIDLY – IF AT THIS POINT YOU ARE WEARING A TAMPON YOU NEED TO REMOVE IT & INFORM A DOCTOR -A high temperature (fever) of 39C/102.2F or above –Flu like symptoms (headache, chills and muscle aches) –Feeling sick or actually being sick –A widespread rash that looks like sun-burn –Diarrhoea –Whites of the eyes, tip of the tongue and tongue turning a bright red –Dizziness and fainting –Confusion and drowsiness –Difficulties breathing properly TREATMENT FOR TSS – WITH TREATMENT MOST PEOPLE RECOVERY FULLY WITHIN DAYS AND LEAVE THE HOSPITAL IN WEEKS –You will need to be admitted into hospital, most people do end up in ICU –You may receive purified antibodies (via blood donations) to fight the infection –Oxygen to assist breathing –Fluids for dehydration and prevention of organ damage –Medication to control blood pressure –Dialysis if your kidneys fail –In some very serious cases, surgery is required to remove areas of dead tissue. In even more severe cases the area will require amputation Part 2 will include some tips and advice, not just from me but from women of different ages and background. Perspective is everything. The more you know the more prepared you can feel without your mum at this point in your life. It’s absolutely okay to need help in this area and there is no shame in saying nobody was there to teach you.

#Run2YaMama #R2YM #advice #blog #support #guidance #sociology #discussion #letstalkaboutit #absentmothers #absentmums #absentmoms #mothers #daughters #childhood #firstperiod #period #menstrualcycle #toxicshocksyndrome #TSS #mentalhealth #depression #anxiety #trauma #abuse #neglect #ptsd #tips #community #healing

[drunklander]

Drunj!Der Yells About Outlander

Thoughts on Ep. 413

I’ve been singing Jefferson’s “The emperor has no clothes.” line from Washington on Your Side all day. Because honestly, that’s basically how I feel about Outlander at this point. Obviously every season when the press tour rolls around the cast and crew are going to talk about how it’s their best season yet and yada yada talking point bullshit. And in the segments after each episode they’re obviously going to pat themselves on the back for being so fucking brilliant. But I have to ask, are they delusional and believe what they’re saying? Or are they self-aware enough to realize that they’ve been putting out a worse and worse product every year but they’re contractually obligated to only say good things about the show? (I’m not stupid, I know that regardless of what they really think about the show they’re putting out, they’re never actually going to say it’s not good. That’s not how this works.) Some, like Balfe, I think are aware that the show isn’t what it used to be. And some, like Matt and Toni, I really think believe they’re doing a good job.

But as long as they keep spouting off the same nonsense about how everything is awesome, a certain segment of the fandom will keep agreeing that the emperor’s new clothes are indeed amazing, while I’m just over here like uh, y’all realize he’s nekkid, right?

Anywho, I’m really looking forward to a very long hiatus.

As much as I tend to not like the title cards anymore, this one included, Otter Tooth being like oh fuck this white kid in his racist costume is valid af.

I do appreciate that they show the Mohawk playing lacrosse in this episode and in 4x12. Because as much as it’s associated with prep school white boys today, it was invented and played by Native American and First Nations tribes, including the Mohawk.

(I signed up to play lacrosse in high school thinking that girls’ lacrosse was like boys’ lacrosse, but it’s not. You can’t check or anything. Lame.)

These fuckers are really bad negotiators. Like hey, we *really* want this guy. Like we’re desperate to get this guy. We didn’t just give you the upper-est of upper hands in this negotiation. Nope.

Tehwahsehwke brushing off the stuff they brought to trade with as just trinkets for Roger gives me life.

Has Claire been wearing this stone all season? You’d think they would have shown her wearing it more or something. But why would they do that when it can just pop up again out of nowhere.

Also, like, why the fuck would you wear a stone you found by the skull you think belongs to a Native American ghost dude who was hatchet’ed in the back of the head to a Native American village. Like, sure she doesn’t know the connection yet, but like, seems like something you’d maybe want to leave at home.

Also who the fuck are you guys, Frasers, refusing to leave someone else’s village when asked? You’re in no position to make demands. I know you want Roger back for some reason that I will never understand, because he’s the worst (only partly being sarcastic), but you’re the fuckers who sold him away so... Just leave and come up with Plan B, don’t make everyone hate you on the way out.

Oh the irony that the racist af term is “Indian giver” when it’s the white folks who go back on their deals...

Murtz being indignant about Bree and Lord John’s engagement makes me mad all over again that we were robbed over his reaction to Jamie marrying Laoghaire.

They’re like really leaning into the benevolent slave owner bullshit, and it’s gross, tbh. Like Bree’s just totally chill being waited on by an enslaved person. This show is killing meee.

Claire making demands and Wahkatiiosta being like “bitch, please” gives me life. Like Claire, you fucking idiot, you’re really not in a position to make demands right now.

Otter Tooth really is a tragic figure. I’d say it’s weird to spend this much time on someone that’s already dead (Just to set up Donner? I’m assuming that’s why they’re doing it?), but honestly, giving the Mohawk something to do that’s not about white people is fine with me.

Really Claire, you have all these opinions about ghosts? Since when?

(Since eventually they need to explain Jamie’s ghost. So why weave in ghost-related mythology organically when you can randomly shoehorn it in with a line that makes everyone scratch their head.)

“Not one of my finer moments.” Understatement of the season, Bree. Seriously, wtaf. And putting in this meta line doesn’t make it better.

“Da told me I should forgive him.” I hate that she was doing things because someone told her she should instead of because she wanted to. Because, again, Bonnet doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Part of forgiving someone, imo, is that they need to be sorry for the thing that needs forgiving. And Bonnet is not. So fuck that guy, he shouldn’t be forgiven.

“I already have.” In this instance, Jamie at least admitted he fucked up and is trying to fix it, but that’s like the first time something like that has happened. And honestly, I’m looking forward to him continuing to try to be worthy of this forgiveness she’s granting him. Because if next season starts with them just being buddy buddy, I’m gonna roll my eyes a lot.

Uh, why *would* this Mohawk dude let you escape with Roger. He owes these white people nothing. Why on earth wouldn’t he raise the alarm. He’s not the bad guy here.

Oh good god it’s not even half over yet.

I should be feeling things about Jamie and Claire possibly being separated again, but the show has managed to make them so meh this season that I really can’t be bothered to give a fuck, tbh.

Also, like, we’ve seen them say goodbye like it might be forever so many times already that like it’s kind of losing its meaning if we don’t also see them being *together* like they’re on borrowed time. Which we haven’t this season.

I miss caring about Claire and Jamie. Make me care about them again, show. This season was supposed to be them building a life together and enjoying finally being married and settled and knowing that every minute together is precious because it’s one they never thought they’d have. And somehow the show instead made them secondary characters in their own story to the point where this moment isn’t even evoking a reaction from me.

Young Ian really hasn’t had much to do all season, but what he has been given has been good and I love him a lot. And major props to him for being like yeah, I fucked up, I’m owning it, I’m gonna apologize and I’m gonna be the one to stay. Take note, literally every other dude in this show, be more like Young Ian.

Although, man, as much as I love the growth Young Ian goes through in the books, it’s gonna be so... problematic, to put it lightly, to have a white kid cosplaying as a Mohawk for the rest of the series when we’ve never had a fully developed Mohawk character.

Murtagh’s whole speech to Jocasta can directly translated to our current trash fire of an administration not being able to grasp what the federal employees they furloughed were going through during the shutdown. But this isn’t a political show. Nope.

Yes, I know that this was all written and shot months ago. But discussing privilege and and using your privilege for good is also political.

Murtagh’s pretty chill about Jocasta owning people for someone who was indentured for years.

As great as Murcasta is as a ship name, I don’t ship it. I’m here for them being inappropriate fuckbuddies, but she’s a fucking slave owner and he’s a Regulator. So hard pass on going full Duncan Innes here.

Also it’s cute that the producers were like this is a brand new idea because in the books, Murtagh’s dead! It’s like guys, you don’t get originality points for giving a canon book plot line to a different character.

Also I swear to fuck, they’d better not do the Jocasta is secretly having a relationship with Ulysses. Because not only is that fucked up on its own, but now if she’s banging Murtz, it makes her even more garbage, because not only does she enslave people, and bangs someone she technically owns, but she’s also a cheater.

Also, is Jocasta only against sex outside of marriage for women who have never been married before? (And I specify women since Murtagh has never been married and she’s not giving him any shit...) Or is she only against it if it results in a pregnancy?

“Jenny will be totally cool with this. Yup. Jenny will totally get it and be absolutely fine with this whole situation.” Are you fucking kidding me?

Jamie deserves all of these punches, but Roger remains the worst.

The difference between Young Ian running the gauntlet and Roger running the gauntlet is striking. Young Ian knows that this is his one chance to prove himself to the Mohawk and he is not throwing away his shot.

Young Ian smiling when the Mohawk accept him is like the only thing in this episode that makes me feel things. Because like this kid is the youngest of a whole squad of siblings and has always been the awkward one who gets into shenanigans accidentally, so like it’s really nice to see him being accepted into a group on his own merits.

“Because she said terrible things and turned ye against me.” Weird way to say “because she told you the truth about how awful I am and made you realize that I am, in fact, the actual worst,” Roger.

He’s never going to apologize, is he. Of course not.

“How could you think such a thing?” “Well, you see, my daughter apparently doesn’t care enough about you to tell me anything about who you are. And you’re enough of a dick that her servant thought you were a rapist. Because, you *are* a dick. And I’m enough of an asshat that I sell into slavery first and never ask questions later because lol toxic masculinity is grand.”

“I left because she told me to go. She actually told me not to come in the first place. And I was an asshole to her in our own time. And then I was an asshole again to her in this time. And really I should just fuck all the way off because I’m the worst and she deserves better and has made it clear that she isn’t down for how I’m treating her. But nope. Why do that when we can forget she ever had any issues with me so I can play the victim card forever and then get welcomed back into her life no problem.”

“But even then, I came back for her. Even though, again, she made it clear she didn’t want me.”

I hate Roger so much. He is literally more worked up over the fact that it was fucking Bonnet who raped Bree and how Bonnet made him sail to Philly than he is about Bree being raped. What the actual fuck, bro.

“Somewhere between here and Fraser’s Ridge. You know, casually somewhere on the eastern seaboard. Really narrows it down.”

“I don’t think you can go through with a child.” They keep saying that but like they have no proof of it? Are they really just saying it so much to set up them doing just that in season six?

In this instant, Frank 2.0 is worse than the OG twatwaffle. Don’t worry, Frank is still the actual worst. He’s an emotionally abusive fuckwad and I hate him with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. But Roger here isn’t dealing with someone who left and fell in love with someone else and is having the child of the love of her life. He’s dealing with someone who was violently raped and is choosing to keep the child and love it on its own merits. And he’s fucking hesitating about whether or not he can live with that?! Are you fucking kidding me? Go fuck yourself, Roger. And then fuck all the way off. Because Bree already deserves better, but the fact that you need to fucking think about it, like she’s somehow not worthy of your love because of what she went through, is fucking irredeemable. 

I. Hate. Roger.

ALSO! Can we fucking talk for a second about how they’re making Bree’s rape and pregnancy about fucking Roger? Not omg is she ok, not omg how is she coping, not omg is she getting the care and support she needs. No, none of that. Instead we get fucking “are you, a man, ok with this.”

But since we’re apparently making this all about good ol’ Rog. He literally two fucking minutes ago called Bree his wife. Like in sickness and health, richer or poorer, no matter fucking what, married. I know he didn’t fucking think he was going to stay in the past forever or to become a parent in this way, but guess what? LIFE IS FUCKING FULL OF SURPRISES. SHIT DOESN’T ALWAYS GO ACCORDING TO PLAN. YOU WANT TO SAY YOU’RE MARRIED TO BREE? THEN NUT UP OR SHUT UP, MISTER “I WANT ALL OF YOU.”

I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW SO MUCH.

“And we will choose his birthday wisely, but ye can be sure the lad was born in wedlock.” Oh fuck off, Jocasta.

Thank fuck this season is over because the are they/aren’t they married whiplash about the handfasting is annoying af. Literally one scene ago Roger was saying she’s his wife and now they’re lying about birthdays because she’s not married.

Ok this is shallow but did they decide that Sophie could wear makeup this season and Caitriona could only have the bare minimum to try to make the age gap seem bigger? Because honestly, the difference in their faces is quite noticeable. 

Unpopular opinion alert, but I’m totally fine with Claire and Jamie not being there for the baby’s birth. I mean, I’m kind of sad Claire wasn’t there. But she can be there for the next one. But like, Jamie hasn’t earned being with Bree in such a personal moment. Their relationship isn’t at that level.

“We told him everything. But since he’s the worst and loves the *idea* of you and not *you*, the truth was too much for his imaginary version of your relationship so he bounced. Like an asshole.”

We’re gonna be stuck with Bonnet for two more seasons, aren’t we. Ugh. They could have just killed him and been done with it, because honestly he’s not interesting enough to keep around, but the more they keep talking about how he died in the prison, the more it’s basically guaranteed that he’s going to show back up...

I’m glad Claire and Bree get a moment alone, tbh. But Bree will be “surrounded by family” at the Ridge? Really? Because pretty sure it’ll just be you and Jamie now. Since Ian is gone. And Roger went AWOL. And who knows where Murtz is gonna go...

They really love using no dialogue dinners instead of doing actual work on the characters’ relationships with each other this season, don’t they. Le sigh.

Cool that everyone is super down with Jocasta now. Because clearly ep. 4x02 didn’t happen.

Oh ffs. The literally did a running toward each other and meeting in the middle with a hug shot. Fucking kill me.

Ok, so Bree and Roger had a kind of flirty friendship that was basically just based around them both knowing about time travel. And then they sort of did the long distance relationship thing. And then Roger proposed in the most awful way possible, refused to listen to Bree’s very reasonable response, slut-shamed her for being ok with sex before marriage even though he himself had had sex before, was a dick to her when she tried to have another conversation with him, and then he followed her into the past when she expressly said not to and implied that she wasn’t planning to stay in the past permanently. Then we’re somehow expected to just accept that she’s over all of her reservations about marriage and Roger being the worst when she agrees to handfast with him, but then he’s the worst again and she rightly tells him to fuck off. And then he can’t decide if he can accept a woman he “loves” after she’s been raped?! And now we’re supposed to think that they belong together and should get the cheesiest, most cliché shot of all time? Are you fucking kidding me, show? How the fuck are we supposed to ship this?

Roger is the literal worst.

This isn’t earned at all and I hate it.

Also, wtf is up with this ending? Why not end it with Bree and Roger going back into the house?

Although, Claire’s face when Murcasta are forehead fucking is my everything.

Like there’s no reason to end on a cliffhanger that’s not even really a cliffhanger? Because like, we already know that Tryon was eventually going to call in this favor from Jamie? We’ve known this since they accepted the land grant? And like, the tension between Jamie and Murtagh over being a Regulator is already established and clearly Jamie isn’t going to actually kill Murtagh?

This is dumb. This show is bad. Thank fuck it’s Droughlander.

#* #outlander starz #outlander 4x13 #drunj!der yells about outlander #rogergate

[scripttorture]

I want my character to be sleep deprived for 9 days and I was thinking the torturers might do this by leaving her in standing cuffs 7-9 hours each night. Would there be enough time in the day for her kidneys to clear out built up toxins before the next night or would this be lethal? If lethal, how long could the torturers do this without killing her? What if they beat her or used other stress positions (for one or a few hours) during the day? Would it depend on how much food/water she gets?

Sofar as I know the amount of food and water someone gets doesn’teffect the survival rates for stress positions. It’s not about whatgoes into the body but the physical limitations of the kidneysthemselves.

Idon’t think your scenario would kill the character but I don’tthink it would be an effective method of sleep deprivation withoutanything else going on. And I can’t be 100% sure whether thisscenario would be lethal or not because this isn’t how stresspositions are usually used.

Essentiallyunless the guards are also waking her up or there are very brightlights in her cell that are never turned off, I think she’d fallasleep almost as soon as she’s taken out of the stress position.This might not happen during the first 24 hours but it would almostcertainly happen in the first 48. When we’re chronically sleepdeprived falling asleep is pretty easy.

Ithink it would probably be best if I address the stress positionfirst and then come back to the sleep deprivation, because this doespartly depend on how sleep deprived you want the character to be.

Usingother stress positions and using beatings would increase thelikelihood of the character dying.

Thinkof it as one of those health bars on a video game: as more musculardamage occurs the bar goes down and with time it slowly recovers. Abig enough hit of muscular damage, or more muscular damage withoutmuch recovery damage results in a significant ‘health drop’. Whenthat reaches a certain level you’ve got lethal damage.

SoI don’tsuggest mixing in beatings and if you’re using different stresspositions count the time as adding to the time spent in standingcuffs. The maximum non-lethal period is 48 hours, after that deathrates increase.

Ithink I tend to suggest a physical recovery period of around a weekafter that for characters.

Whatyou’re doing instead with shorter bursts of damage followed by amedium recovery period could still potentially cause damage to thekidneys and death if it went on long enough. Because we’re talkingabout accumulation of something in the body that’s toxic at acertain level. Like I said I think you’re still in a survivablerange, but I wouldn’t suggest adding in any more tortures thatdamage the muscles. Either directly or indirectly.

Let’sgo back to the sleep deprivation.

It’simpossible to sleep for more than a few seconds at a time in standingcuffs. So a person kept in standing cuffs for the usual length oftime (24-48 hours) would be sleep deprived. Your character is likelyto fall asleep throughout their day.

Ifthey’re mostly left alone in a cell except when they’re torturedthen they’ll probably be getting a normal amount of sleep.

Ifthey’re forced to work or exercise then that would keep them awakefor longer but they’d likely still be snatching quite a bit ofsleep. However forcing the character to work or exercise would beputting additional strain on her muscles. Which would make death fromkidney failure a lot more likely.

Asa result I don’t think having the character in a forced labour orforced exercise situation would be a good idea.

Ithink the best place to start is by thinking about exactly how sleepdeprived you want the character to be. Total sleep deprivation ispossible over this period of time but pretty severe.

Sleeping3-5 hours in every 24 over this time period could be a better option.A character getting that little sleep would still be incrediblyeffected by sleep deprivation. She’d still be in obvious pain anddistress after the first 24 hours, become delirious very quickly andprobably be quite out of touch with reality by day 9.

Thereason I think you need to decide the amount of sleep the characteris getting is because that can effect the method used to deprive herof sleep. So can the time period of your setting but whatever thetime setting there are several options.

Thesimplest options in a modern setting are using electric lights andspeakers. This can mean just leaving the lights on and the speakersplaying something (literally anything) loudly. Sometimes it meanshaving the lights turn on and off every couple of seconds.

Allof that can be done without much effort from the captors. Allowingsleep is as simple as turning off the lights and speakers for anallotted period of time.

Inhistorical settings (or settings without electricity for whateverreason) there are a couple of other ways victims were sleep deprived.

Thesimplest was just having guards bang on the cell doors every 30seconds or so. Or having guards poke or shake victims awake every fewminutes.

Sleepdeprivation was also often achieved by using relay interrogation(which is also still practiced today). This basically means switchingthe ‘interrogator’ every few hours so that they are awake, whilethe victim is expected to keep talking and is deprived of sleep.

These‘interrogations’ don’t yield any sense and they’re not reallyexpected to. Victims are basically being kept in a room andconstantly shouted at. If they talk they’re expected to go over thesame events/story repeatedly. Relay interrogations are often used totry and force confessions, which they sometimes succeed in doing.

Allof the options so far could be used for either total sleepdeprivation or for enforcing a severely reduced sleep schedule.

Anotherhistorical option, which only really works for total sleepdeprivation, is to soak the cell. Water is poured over the floor andover any bedding. In a cold climate this makes it essentiallyimpossible to sleep and comes with a considerable hypothermia risk.In a tropical climate it also prevents sleep and comes with aconsiderable infection risk.

Itdoesn’t work in a hot desert like my home so it didn’t reallyoccur in those kinds of climates.

Torturerswould sometimes adjust this by using human waste. Which comes with areally large infection risk that might turn into something lethalover nine days.

Havea think about which option best suits your scenario and setting. Ifyou want more information on sleep deprivation I found Why weSleep by M Walker a pretty goodand accessible read.

Ihope that helps. :)

Availableon Wordpress.

Disclaimer

#tw torture #sleep deprivation #stress positions #clean torture #historical torture #temperature torture #modern torture #Anonymous

[entropic-introspection]

Played that lil game fairness simulator i just reblogged, and it rly makes me think about stuff I’ve noticed playing online games

Warframe is a game that has a high concentration of kinder players. The community prides itself on helping new players, and it isn’t uncommon for older more experienced players to go out of their way to help newer ones. I’ve seen older ones offering up mods, showing newbies secrets, the best ways to run spy missions, or just helping them figure out how to get the biggest bang for their buck. Miscommunications tend to be quickly addressed- “Hey you’re killing stuff too quick for event to happen” “Why are you playing a mini-game right now? ‘oh shit I was in the map by myself didn’t realize you all joined sorry’‘

This isn’t random- the game itself incentivizes playing kindly. Playing in a group get more rewards due to higher enemy spawns, but if you all run as a lone ranger, the spawns get screwed up due to distance. Reviving a player is beneficial in the long run, since you have another person around in case you go down. And receiving a revive instead of self-reviving (of which you have 4 normally) preserves your exp. There’s not really kill-stealing, since you share experience and rewards (in some cases, playing beside a nuker frame is more helpful for you! Experience in WF levels your frame and your weapons, divided up based on what you’re using. However, shared player exp is evenly divided on whatever you have equipped- meaning if you run a crappy pistol in a high level area with a nuker frame friend, even if you never use the pistol, it will still get some respectable exp.) The dev team is active with the player base and works to screw up any ‘meta’ that becomes too hegemonic and overbearing- they want all players to have fun, not just the ones playing ‘correctly’.

Cheating the system and other players certainly happens, but there aren’t as many systems in place to let it happen, and most of them do not unduly reward cheaters over fair players. The biggest complaints are about leechers in open world areas, who let others run the missions while they goof off, and often that’s just annoying, not mission threatening. They might even miss out on some good rewards due to being too far from random drops.

-

MMORPG’s are trickier. Recently(ish) I’ve done Guild Wars 2 and FF XIV. Since I never got into endgame raid content in either (not rly), I don’t have tons of experience with the areas that are easily the most toxic, but. The biggest problems tend to come from older players getting exasperated that new ones don’t know what they’re doing (miscommunication). Most MMO’s have worked to make kill stealing or loot stealing much harder, since that’s one of the most common causes of toxicity.

That leaves player interaction, most notably in markets. But that’s capitalism babey and I ain’t about to touch that shit. Otherwise, things can be pretty neutral- you might run into some rude folks, some nice ones, but you can just keep on keeping on. Speaking as someone who picked up healing in FFXIV, I am occasionally ready to murder folks in dungeons (tanks who draw too much aggro, dps playing like a tank, both of them ignoring that I’ve got aggro from adds...) but I also have met some wonderfully nice people that keeps me less cynical.

-

Monster Hunter World is unique in that while you can solo like, the entire game, online play isn’t too bad. Part of this is because there’s limited mechanisms for players to help OR harm each other. Communication is pretty limited, unless you want to take the time to write out a message. You can have preset messages, but most of those are pretty positive and are used for ‘good job!’ or ‘oh that was hella rad’. Someone might kill a monster where you won’t have time to carve it for parts, or be rude/playful and keep smacking you so that you can’t, but at least there’s the rewards at the end. Any weapon can be effective, tho some are better on different monsters.

MHW is just. Incredibly neutral, because unless you run voice chat w/ friends, a multi-player hunt is basically just. Oh hey extra pple for the dps, cool. Minus the times when they chew through your 3 team deaths before failure. Upgrade your armor you fool!

-

And then there’s Overwatch. I don’t really have an incentive to be nice to my teammates or my enemies. Sure, the commendations can be nice, but they don’t do anything meaningful. If someone hurls slurs at me in the chat, I guess I can report and block them, but lord knows if that will do anything. Working with my team does give me a slightly higher chance at victory, but not if my team in general isn’t willing to work with me. If a teammate or enemy is actively griefing me? Jesus. Christ.

The community itself is very telling, considering that they call toxicity ‘normal’. It happens, they say with a shrug, block report and move on. And when I witness a few teammates who are willing to get  involved, and firmly shut down the offending party? That’s an outlier. That’s likely to make the offending party straight up leave the game, and in competitive, that punishes your team. Even in non-competitive play, if you choose to leave a game due to toxicity, doing so too many times prevents you from playing for a while.

Pro advice for climbing the competitive ladder at low ranks? Pick a hero you like, carry, and ignore your team. Since low ranks gain more experience if they gain more medals (of which you can gain gold, silver, or bronze for: kills, kills on the objective, objective time, healing, and enemy damage), that means certain heroes will be given less punishment and higher rewards even if their play-style didn’t benefit the team, only themselves. I like playing Mercy! She’s a fun, highly mobile healer with a resurrection ability. She’s meant to be dangerous only because of her strong healing ability and rez, which can win a team fight. The only medal she is likely to get is for healing, because to do damage you must actively stop healing and switch to a weapon. I am a very good Mercy, but I will unlikely be able to rank up with her because the system is actively stacked against her. (The devs, in fact, have given her less points for winning a match because of ‘too many Mercy mains at unfair ranks’. And then they nerfed her into the ground. Mhm.)

Overwatch is somehow a team-based shooter that gives very little incentive in-game to play as a team, and gives no in-game tutorials or lessons on how a team should play as opposed to a single person. There is barely any HUD to let you know how your team is doing health-wise or with cool-downs (annoying for dps, bad for tanks, catastrophic for healers). They don’t let us see how our fellow teammates are doing for fear of toxicity. I have no way of trying to encourage people to stand in a specific area other than chat or spamming ‘group up’ while standing there.

I still love what Overwatch is trying to be, with its diversity and cool heroes, but I would really like them to reexamine how they have the game set up to reward cooperation and kindness.

[bigbox141]

Vent: Competitive Nature

Feel free to ignore this post, it’s way more personal than my ordinary content.

I suppose this will be my first, more serious sorta thing. Not to say that nothing I said before holds any merit, though I’m saying this is moreso getting stuff off my chest. I’ll do this from time to time, but I won’t make a habit, I don’t want readers to become overwhelmed with negativity. I try to be a positive thinker and my hope is redeem most everything, y’feel me?

Anyways, blegh... I play all these different kind’sa games, lots of action, lots of running around, all that stuff, but there’s one, giant part of the game industry I have a really hard time with: PvP and competitive multiplayer.

Don’t gimme wrong, I like to shoot a couple human opponents from time to time when I boot up a game or two of whatever shooter’s on my mind, or maybe even try out a fighting game once. Games like Garry’s Mod I find are pretty good outlets to mess around with friends, downloading a bunch of crazy things, building stuff and doing whatever to your heart’s content; My issue with competition is when it is a focus.

I don’t wanna sound lazy, heck I don’t wanna sound egotistical, but I imagine that fundamentally, I might just be that way when I say that I can’t ever find myself comfortable with playing fighting games and PvP multiplayer games for long periods of time. I find myself very quickly becoming attached when I think I’m hot shit, and I suddenly become very toxic. Into the groove, y’know? The result is a bitter, irritable Anton. I don’t like that kinda Anton.

I think it’s in large part due to that ego boost that comes from feeling like you really pulled something good. And honestly, I think I’m just a bit... emotionally fluctuating, I suppose. Anxious about being bad at things. The result is a pretty odd up-hill battle to constantly be good, and to be honest, I hate it, but no matter how much I fight it, that feeling just kinda keeps coming back. The result is that I avoid a lot of competition all together, as I just wanna be good with others, and derive my ego boosts there. Make me feel good, y’know? I worked with my buds and we accomplished something together. It’s a good feeling to me, being a part of a circle.

So, it’s kinda disheartening when I see 90% of my friends all wailing on each other in games like GUILTY GEAR and what have you, and I find myself not really being the best suited to play games like that. Don’t wanna be an ass.

I’ve found myself being a lot more in-tune with games that tend to be more cooperative, though a little bit of messing around never hurts. Risk of Rain 2 is freaking awesome to play with friends, and if I wanna do more of that silly “bang I shot my friend lol,” there’s the Artifact of Death mutator for that. Friendly fire rocks if I’m gonna be honest, if you wanna quickly PvP your bud then get back to doing work, you can do just that. Makes for some chaotic and silly moments, that’s for sure.

I dunno. Maybe I’ve got a bit of cowardice in me with regards to that. But, it’s whatever. No one group can be universal, since we all got our own methods to our madness, our own interests, whatever it may be. And, I suppose that means I’ll be a bit of an outlier: I’m more communal than I am competitive.

... oh wait, did I just accidentally be communist again?

Here’s a thing btw

#boxs vents #gamer stalin #gaming stalin #stalin gaming

[caffeineivore]

On Review Etiquette

So, lately, I have been participating in @sailormoonreviewevent and it brings back some of my best and worst memories of fandoms, not just SM but fandoms in general, and the people who populate them. 

Background information: I’ve been around since dinosaurs still roamed the Earth and geocities sites with animated word-art headers and the like were still the norm. In the case of Sailor Moon as well as other fandoms in which I have participated, I seem to always end up in a peculiar sort of capacity-- on the one hand, I’d pretty much stick to a very small corner of the fandom wherein my ship and/or character preferences kept me mostly away from the vast majority of the riff-raff and the fandom politics, but maybe because I have an inherently bossy and super type-A personality, I’d still end up in some sort of organizational capacity. The whip-cracker, as it were, amidst a bunch of creative types. For instance, in Sailor Moon, I pretty much stuck exclusively with senshi/shitennou. I paid very little attention to fanfics not about senshi/shitennou, and don’t really know people outside of that group. However, for all that, I ended up organizing ficathon for a few years, as well as moderating a writing community and planning meet-ups between members. In this role, I get to see a lot of the nuts and bolts which go on behind the scenes, and, unfortunately, also have to play the bad guy in certain sticky situations, which brings me to the point of this post.

Now, as a fanfic writer myself, I can say definitively that reviews make the world go round. Much as we write for fun, and we write to please ourselves, there is nothing quite so uplifting and encouraging as a genuine, sincere, detailed positive review. You know the type-- the ones that tell you exactly what they liked the most about your fic, in such a way that shows that not only did they read it, but it truly had an impact on them-- maybe it made them reconsider a facet of a character they’d never considered before, or maybe it mentions their favourite lines, or maybe it subconsciously reassures the writer on some point or another which they were uncertain about. Obviously, these are like the gold standard of reviews, and somewhat rare and far between. However, you’ll also get a bunch of “omg i <3 this fic MOAR PLZ”, which is okay too. You’ll probably even get a few with constructive criticism, which may sting at the time, but if the reviewer 1. means well and 2. has a point, it’s definitely worth your time to take their words into account. 

However, then you get one of these other types of reviews:

1. “Why did you write about [character] and/or [ship] they suxxxx [other character/ship] IS SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!”

2. this fucking fic is dumb. you suck. die in a fire. flame flame flame flame flame. trollololol I have no life I live in my parents’ basement and wank over how hard I am even though I need to put people down behind a meaningless screen name to feel better about myself. Not in a million years would I have the balls to say this sort of thing to someone’s face, but on the internet I am a Grade A Certified Prime Asshole and proud of it. [guest review anonymous]

3. So yeah this fic is great and I know it’s marked complete but could you add another chapter? Perhaps with [very specific plot and character requirements to cater into my personal whims] plzkthxbai!

4. Ummm... so why are you writing [characters] in [AU setting] or [different version of canon-- manga/anime/pgsm/etc.]?? MY PREFERRED CANON IS BETTER. WHY CAN’T YOU DO WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO??

5. Update faster plz!!! I need the next chapter NOW!! Actually I needed it YESTERDAY!! WTF ARE YOU DOING WHY ARE YOU NOT WRITING?!?!!?!!

Annnnnnnnd... you count to ten, resisting the impulse to chuck the phone or computer out the window. Take a deep breath, count to ten again, backward this time, and remind yourself that this is just fanfic. Just fanfic. Fandom’s bound to have a few idiots. You want to reply to the reviewer: “Look can u not” but that would be validating them, making them more important than they should be. You tell yourself it’s just a troll, but nonetheless, it hurts. And when you pick up that fic again, you’ll probably remember that one review in the back of your mind, taunting, more vivid than a dozen “gr8 job hope to see more soon!”’s. 

And it’s sad. So I’m about to give everyone who has experienced this (which, in all likelihood, is everyone who has posted a fanfic in any fandom ever) a voice. A loud, stridently snarky one. 

Reviewers: CAN U NOT?? with the trolling????

Look, I’m so glad that you have the time and the means to sit around and chill and read fanfic. It’s a luxury that requires a lot of first world amenities that not everyone has, so kudos to you. But that means, also, that you have a lot of freedoms not afforded to everyone, such as, y’know, the ability to pick and choose what you decide to read and comment on. There will be fics about every possible permutation of character ships in a fandom. There will be fics in every genre, which run the gamut of writing skill from novice to expert. And pretty much every single fic site, be it something privately owned or some behemoth like ff.n or AO3, will separate their fics into categories by character, genre, length, rating, etc. etc. The internetz is a wonderful thing. You can pretty much find anything with a few clicks. Like you can literally probably search for “I want a fic featuring [character A] and [character B] in a high school AU with angsty undertones and make it a one-shot less than 5000 words because I am on lunch break”, and it will take only the minimal amount of effort to get exactly what you look for to fall into your lap.

We all have our fic preferences. We also all know what we do not like. So, let me ask, why the hell do people insist on not only reading but flaming stuff that they KNOW they’re not going to like?? I am a diehard senshi/shitennou shipper and manga is my preferred canon. I KNOW that I do not ship Rei/Yuuichirou for example, so I won’t go out of my way to read fics featuring them. I’m not crazy about fics which feature tons of violence or porn, or lots of OCs, and I tend to dislike fics which make light of serious issues such as self harm or drug abuse, and I draw a very hard line at rape and sexual assault, especially if it features characters below the age of consent. Like, serious, trigger warning, PTSD, nope nope nope nope at Planet Nope. Now, what do I do if I come across a fic featuring any of these things? 

I DON’T FUCKING READ IT. Really. That’s all there is to it. I scroll down onto the next thing. And in the event that, say, I accidentally clicked on something that I figure out isn’t my cup of tea, it does not take any sort of effort to click right back out. Why give yourself grief? But even more, why give the writer grief? Even if it’s totally not your thing, they put effort into it-- far more effort than you did, clicking on their work. THEY are into what they wrote. 

Now, once upon a time, when I was organizing one of the senshi/shitennou ficathons, one of the submissions happened to feature something that NOPED with me very hard. And as ficathon mistress, I had to read it. So I did. And then replied to the author that it was very well written but I could not review it for personal reasons. Then I sent it off to another moderator to read it and give them an actual review. And that is an extenuating circumstance. Most people would not ever be in the position to have to read a fic that they would otherwise not read, or say anything to the writer of said fic. Even in that circumstance, it is not hard to deal with it in a respectful manner. So, why the fuck would someone willingly and knowingly inflict something they know they’re not going to like on themselves and then punish someone else for it? That makes NO sense.

As far as harassing authors to follow your own niche or write more on a topic or story that they feel as though they’re done with? Dude, write your own fic. You have total control over only one person in this world: yourself. Sure, validating what a fanfic writer does is very nice and gratifying, but they are not trained monkeys there to do your bidding and perform for your personal amusement. Unless you’re paying them good cashy money (which, since it’s fanfic, you’re not), you don’t get to have a say in what they write, when they write it, where they post it (if anywhere), any of that. They are under no contractual obligation to cater in to you in any way. And furthermore, when you try to dictate to them what to write and how to write it, the message is this: I Know Better Than You. Do As I Say. You Don’t Know Shit. What You Do Is Not Good Enough For Me. What You Do Doesn’t Matter. The Only Thing That Matters Is What I Want. 

That’s nothing but a goddamn put-down. And when you put down someone who probably put in a whole lot of thought and effort into something which brings them no possible reward but personal satisfaction and maybe others’ enjoyment, it’s really kind of a sucker-punch. If, say, this was the type of interaction between a boyfriend and girlfriend-- the put-downs, the belittling, the dictating, the insults-- we’d all recoil and call it a toxic, abusive relationship. We’d tell the person receiving those comments to get out of there, to get help, to leave.

So, when you make those types of comments, that’s the message you’re sending that writer. Leave. Get out of here. Go away, for your own good, for your own sanity and health and happiness. 

Now think about it, as you’re scrolling through ff.n or ao3 or wherever, looking for that next undiscovered gem. Think about it, when someone shyly asks you to review their fic, or signs up for the first time for a fandom event such as a ficathon or a big bang or a secret santa exchange. Is that the message you want to give them? That they should leave and never look back?

Now think about it again, and remember when you first discovered fanfic, or your preferred fandom, and wrote your first fic. Maybe it was campy and featured every trope on the TV tropes page. Maybe it was a shameless Mary Sue. Maybe it was ridiculously OOC and featured eye-gougingly purple prose. Maybe it was riddled with typos. Maybe you, yourself, looking back at it now, shake your head at how you could’ve written such a monstrosity. But would you have stayed, I wonder, if nobody at all encouraged you? Countless writers fade into oblivion after one fic, or disappear forever, deleting their fics off the internet. Countless people get fed up with fandom and throw their hands up and dismiss it as a lost cause. These things are going to happen regardless, sure.

But why the hell would you encourage that?

#fanfiction #fanfic #writing #sailor moon #sailor moon review event #sm review event

[xdontmind]

A REALLY LONG  CHARACTER  SURVEY.

RULES.  repost , don’t  reblog  ! tag  10  ! good  luck  ! TAGGED. @princelylight ( thank you Dad! ;D <3 ) TAGGING. @icebloodedprince, @athiefforhire @interimplexa @echarcsa @fiercefrizz and who ever else wants to because this was fun lol​​​​​

FULL NAME :  Akatsuki Kaneko NICKNAME :  Kane-Chan, Neko-Chan, Kane AGE : 19 BIRTHDAY : May 14th ETHNIC GROUP : Asain NATIONALITY : Japanese LANGUAGE / S : Japanese, Russian, French, English ( only a little ) SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Demisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Panromantic RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Single ( verse dependent ) CLASS : Middle Class ( ? ) HOME TOWN / AREA :  Shinjuku CURRENT HOME : Japan PROFESSION :  Izaya Orihara’s Bodyguard - Bodyguard/Assassin for hire ( verse dependent )

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : Russet Red, cut just above her shoulders and is slightly uneven in the front. It’s pretty soft and thin. EYES : Deep Purple. FACE : A little more roundest, especially in the face. ( Squishy cheeks. ) LIPS : Her lips are slightly thin, if not a bit puckered as well.  COMPLEXION : Very pale. You would think that she’s never been outside in her life. BLEMISHES : None. SCARS :  A few littered about her body here and there. Some from actual fights and others from being slightly clumsy. ( there’s a couple of bruises occasionally from walking into things – or the wall – while half awake. She doesn’t like talking about it. ) TATTOOS : None. HEIGHT : 5′4″ WEIGHT :  Around 130 lbs. BUILD : Pretty petite; her muscles are slightly defined due to her work, but pretty slender overall. Her hips are also slightly defined, giving her something like an ‘hourglass’ look. FEATURES : Usually has good posture, but also has a small habit of slouching. ALLERGIES : None. USUAL HAIR STYLE : Bangs are usually in her face if not swept to either side, and her hair tends to fall on it’s own after a good brush through. She doesn’t do much else to style it, as she sees no real need to. USUAL FACE LOOK : Blank expression, a look of either focus or concentration, slightly pursed lips.  USUAL CLOTHING :  She usually tends to wear a sleeveless turtle neck sweater with either a black skirt or black pants. She usually goes for sweaters, large t-shirts, pants, and boots. She tends to shy away from anything too revealing or form fitting as it makes me uncomfortable/embarrassed.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S :  Being abandoned, Failure, Letting those she cares about down ASPIRATION / S :  Right now, she’s really unsure. She doesn’t like thinking about the future beyond where she is, as she thinks she has no right to. POSITIVE TRAITS :  Loyal, Hard-working, Talented, Trustworthy NEGATIVE TRAITS :  Insecure, Hot-tempered, Rude, Possessive, Obsessive ZODIAC : Taurus. TEMPERAMENT :   Your temperament is melancholic. The melancholic temperament is fundamentally introverted and thoughtful. Melancholic people often were perceived as very (or overly) pondering and considerate, getting rather worried when they could not be on time for events. Melancholics can be highly creative in activities such as poetry and art - and can become preoccupied with the tragedy and cruelty in the world. Often they are perfectionists. They are self-reliant and independent; one negative part of being a melancholic is that they can get so involved in what they are doing they forget to think of others. SOUL TYPE / S :  Thinker(15): Most Thinker types are cerebral, skeptical individuals, who often discount their emotions or intuition in favor of rational analysis. This intellectual approach to life can cause some Thinkers to appear restrained and unemotional to those around them. When hurt, they have to analyze or rationalize what happened before allowing themselves to feel their emotions. Once the emotions kick in, however, Thinkers can feel things as deeply as any other soul type. VICE HABIT / S :   VIRTUES / VICES: Diligence, Humility / Lust, Gluttony, Envy  FAITH :  None. GHOSTS ? : No. AFTERLIFE ? : Yes. REINCARNATION ? : So-So. ALIENS ? : Yes. EDUCATION LEVEL : High School Graduate.

FAMILY.

FATHER :  Akatsuki Hiro MOTHER :  Akatsuki Ayame SIBLINGS :   Akatsuki Nowaki ( older brother ), Akatsuki Chiiko and Kiri ( twin younger brother and sister ) EXTENDED FAMILY :   Several Aunts and Uncles on either side. NAME MEANING / S : “Kaneko” means ‘doubly accomplished child’. HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? :  None.

FAVORITES.

HOLIDAY :  None really. When she was younger, she really enjoyed the Japanese New Year celebrations, tho. MONTH :  September. SEASON : Fall/Winter PLACE :  Shinjuku, Japan / Ikebukuro, Japan WEATHER :  When the clouds are grey and you can hear rain falling against the window. It’s the perfect weather to snuggle up in blankets to. ( Although her mood towards this is a total 180 if she has an assignment she needs to do that requires her to go out into the rain. ) SOUND : Pencil against paper. SCENT / S :  Lavender. Freshly brewed tea. Food of any kind. TASTE / S :  Oh boy, Kaneko is not picky at all, lol. She prefers flavors that are sweet, though. FEEL / S :  Wool. The feel of a soft blanket or sweater. The feeling of her favorite kind of sketching paper. ANIMAL / S :   Cats. Birds. COLORS : Black. Purple.

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Drawing, Self-defense/fighting, Playing innocent, Arts BAD AT :  Emotional Honesty,  Expressing herself on a personal level, TURN ONS : Confidence, Dominance, Kindness, Strength TURN OFFS :  Patronizing, Cruelty HOBBIES : Sketching, Yoga, Exercise, Food tasting ( lol ) TROPES :

Cute Bruiser / Little Miss Badass / Badass Adorable ( They all overlap, so I choose them all instead of one lol ) – Kaneko is only 19 and 5’4” tall, and is pretty damn capable of driving most of her opponents and targets to their knees. You wouldn’t expect it, given her appearance. ( She complains that she looks like she’s 12 instead of 19 most of the time. ) And she’s been taunted and underestimated due to her ‘cute’ appearance. But she’s extremely talented when it comes to combat, and is more than capable of handling herself; especially when armed with her favorite knife.

Black Sheep – Out of her immediate family, Kaneko is the only one to rebel and go against their initial expectations and rules. Even though it was triggered by an outside source and her unhealthy desire to please him(them), she still manages to completely reject her role in her family and become completely estranged from them altogether. 

All Girls Want Bad Boys/Did you Actually Believe?/What does she see in him? – These are all more prone to her ‘main’ verse more than anything, as Kaneko’s feelings towards Izaya is anything but healthy. Izaya is the furthest thing from a good person – at least to those that he sees as disposable. She’s much too blind by her infatuated view towards him to realize that he may just toying around with her, and that she’s essentially being manipulated for his own purposes. People from the outside might notice it if they know who Izaya is and what he does, hence the last trope too.

Tsundere/Yandere – I personally always get torn when trying to decide if Kaneko is either a Yandere or a Tsundere, but I think the best way to go about it is to label her as somewhere in between. Like a Yandere, she can be really obsessive and controlling when it comes to the object of her affection, and depending on exactly how toxic the relationship or pining might be, she’d have no qualms about becoming violent for their benefit as well. And like a Tsundere, she can be very hot and cold; and can have a cold exterior with some sweetness that pokes out here and there. ( Usually with those she’s growing fond of. )

AESTHETIC TAGS : Paint Esal, Rain on windows, A hot Summer day with just enough wind, A sweater that’s a bit too big

FC INFO.

MAIN FC / S : Nakaba ( animated ), Eri Kamei ( LA ) ALT FC / S : N/A. OLDER FC / S : N/A. YOUNGER FC / S : Machi Kuragi (?) VOICE CLAIM / S : Karen Fukuhara GENDERBENT  FC / S : If Kaneko was born male/or male presenting, I would think that she’d look a bit like Dazai Osamu. Just different color hair, and a little bit more of a baby face. And slightly longer hair lol

#; [ headcanon tag ] #// holy christ this was long lolol #I almost wasn't sure if i would be able to do it but i did and im so happy #my complicated daughter

[angst-court-circle-drabbles]

Toxic Love

Word count: 1194 Panic/Saga (toxic) Mun Sun and Mun Jo

Abusive relationship, blood, physical abuse, verbal abuse, manipulation

Panic paced back and forth in his room before storming over to Saga's room and slamming the door open, looking for the man "What were you doing with Alex?"

Saga jumped a little before looking at Panic. "He-I, I only wanted to help!  He wouldn't listen. It's not my fault."  He fidgets with his red choker, getting more upset at the fact that Panic only came because of Alex.

"Yeah, you say that but you're mine. I don't want you near him because he's going to take you away from me. Do you want to be away from me? Do you not want me anymore?" he asks, crossing his arms and voice firm

His eyes are wides and he quickly shakes his head. "N-no! I don't want to be away from you! Th-that's not what I meant!" He bites his lips, walking to Panic. "I-sorry Panic. H-Alex came here only for suggestions. It wasn't like that. I-I want you. Of course I want you."  He pulls up a timid smile, afraid that his words will hurt or irritate his boyfriend.

He clicks his tongue and grasps onto Saga's face tight, not caring that he's going to be leaving bruises on him "You say that, but I bet you think about him, you slut." he growls, pulling his face close to his own "Prove that you want me, bitch, because I don't see it" he pushes him away

He bites down a small scream and holds back his tears. His face is pale because of the word Panic is using. He is sure there're bruises on his face, but he doesn't dare to touch it. He stumbles back, thinking about what he did or said wrong. He must have hurt Panic. Chewing his lips, he whispers quietly. "H-how to, uh, prove it?"

"You should know. Figure it out. I'll give you 5 minutes to do so. If not, then the punishment is going to be worse" he snarls at Saga before sitting down at the desk "I'm sure you know how to prove to Alexander that you love him and want him"

Saga looks around the room, avoiding Panic's eyes. He slowly walks to the bookshelf and talks his diaries out, grabbing the knife behind them. The knife has a tear-shaped black dot on a side of the blade, and next to it it's his nickname for Panic, Luc. He rolls up his sleeves and reveals all the bruises and...names on his arm. Hesitating a moment, he slowly adds another "Luc" on his arm. He holds out his arm and puts up a restrained smile, hissing lightly. "D-does this prove it? Please Luc...I love you. I only want you, not-not the others...."

He walks over and slaps the knife out of his hand, making it fly and hit a wall "You can only carve my name on yourself when I tell you. Did I tell you to do that? Huh?" He grabs him by the shirt and pushes him against the wall "No! And shut up with the Luc. You only call me that when I tell you to, do you understand me?" He shakes him harshly, making Saga's head bang on the wall "Answer me with 'sir'. I'm not your anything until you prove to me that I should keep a dirty slut like you. Should've left you to be a useless nobody then deal with your ungrateful ass"

He winces when his head hits the wall, feeling a little dizzy. “I-I'm sorry sir...I didn't-I didn't mean like that I'm sorry."  He is shaking slightly, but he doesn't dare to move away from his boyfriend. "Please sir...I only have you.  Please please don't leave me..." He sniffs, trying to hold back his tears. It scares him to think that Panic may leave him. He must have been a terrible boyfriend to Panic. "It was my fault...I'm really sorry sir. I...I can fix this...Please just don't leave me..."

"Aw, you're going to cry? Cry, then, cry baby. Show me how sorry you really are" he shoves him on the ground "Take your shirt off and stay on your knees, you're counting. Crying might do something, but who knows" he goes and gets a whip "You better be shirtless, on your knees and hands on that wall by the time I get to five"

He can't stop sobbing, but he doesn't hesitate to take his shirt off, revealing even more scars and bruises. Some of them aren't fully healed. He quickly gets into the position Panic asked him to stay, holding his breath and waits for his punishment.

He turns around, the number 5 on his lips "Good. You can listen for once. Now count" he brings the whip down, watching it draw red lines that has blood slowly beading up and does it again, watching as his skin splits open.

Cold sweat rolls down his cheek as he forces himself to count between sobbing and wincing, trying everything to not flinch at the familiar pain caused by the whip and reopened scars.

He continues to whip him and stops at 16, putting the whip up and grabbing the kit and starts to treat his back, cooing and praising him "You listened so well. I only do this to help you learn. You did so good and I love you so much. Once we finish cleaning you up, we'll watch some shows that you like, okay? We'll do whatever you want, tonight." he spoke gently as he tends to him in a sweet and kind manner, trying not to hurt him and holding him close when he finished "I love you so much. No one could ever compete with how much I love you"

He sniffs quietly, occasionally flinching because of the wounds. Curling up in Panic's arms, he whispers softly, "You, are you still mad at me? Sorry sir...I'll be good for you..."

"No, baby. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at Alexander and took it out on you. I'm sorry, baby. Please call me Luc. I'm not sir, no more. You're too good for me and I'm scared I'm going to lose you. I love you so very much. I don't wanna lose you to Alexander and see you get hurt. I love you so much and I'm sorry for hurting you, but I had to help you learn. You understand, right, baby? Make sure you cover those bruises and put on the special shirt, okay? We don't want them to break us apart, do we, sweetheart?" he whispers gently while playing with his hair, comforting him

He nods and pulls up a small smile.  "No Luc. I want to be with you." He rests his head on Panic's chest and closes his eyes, calming down more.  "It's okay Luc. We do weird things when we are mad.  I know you didn't want to hurt me. I love you and only you." He pulls Panic's other hand and entwines their fingers.

He kisses the top of his head "I love you and only you, Saga" he mumbles, holding his hand close and kissing it gently

#abusive relationships #blood #abuse #major abuse #physical abuse #verbal abuse #manipulation #Mun Sun writes #mun jo writes

[k-astrology]

Hello! Firstly I'm excited about ur new changes!! I'm looking forward to the growth of ur blog!! I've always enjoyed ur posts! Secondly I'm not sure how to ask for my request but I'd like a astrology compatibly with Big Bang and bts, sun: gemini // moon: Sagittarius // mars & Mercury: Taurus // Venus: gemini // rising: Capricorn thank you!!!

Thank you, I am too!

Your best matches are: Seungri & Jimin. 

Seungri: You are scarily compatible hahaha. You both have a very ‘lets do this’ personality. Never backing down from challenges, always wanting to evolve and do better. You both love to experience things, see beautiful places, things, and people. With so much ‘need of freedom’, you would be perfect for each other because you constantly see each other ‘exited’ to be around. The difference between you two is just that, you don’t like changes that occur too fast, he doesn’t mind changes - For him change mean progress, but you take time to adjust to new things and it’s quite scary for you too. Aside from that, you’re both very much the ‘jealous type’, which could ether be very toxic and unhealthy, or something that passes after the ‘trust and respect has been build between you. Communication will be amazing (Mercury), because you have my fav sign combination on that planet, Taurus, and Capricorn. You both understand each other need for some sort of stability and security. You both tend to stick to what you’ve started, except you tend to doubt your abilities more (Gemini sun), but because of his positive nature, he’ll get you on the right track of mind. You would be very uplifting towards each other!

Jimin:  Jimin is unlike Seungri, more soft spoken. He is though more like you in the sense of doing his best but not thinking it is enough. Jimin is also a very social person, so he’ll def be one of those ‘THIS IS BAE :)’ types (showing you off). He is more ‘emotional’ and sensitive then Seungri. He lets his emotions pour and you might feel as if he ‘loves you too much’ (almost smothered), but at the same time love his love for you. He tends to only say what others want to hear, in fear that what he truly means won’t be reviewed well. You’re open and forward personality will bring his ‘true self’ to life, and draw out that selfish part of him (a good kind of selfish), while heel open you up more (emotional)

- A 

Pls Read FAQ Before Requesting

#compatability #gemini sun sagittarius moon #jimin #seungri #anon

[pasta-abomination]

Well, Supergirl, it’s been fun.

When I first heard of the show last year, it was this—maybe a little cheesy, but that’s comics—fun show with a focus on relationships between women of all different types, a show about a woman growing up and coming into her own and finding her place in the world. And, of course, Kara and Alex. The sisterhood at the heart of the show. Of course there were some things that could’ve been done better—but it became clearer and clearer that it was an honest effort.

I hope you know how much of a leap of faith it took to follow Supergirl to the CW, as a queer woman. I hope you know that that’s—in my entirely unprofessional opinion—an indicator of how much good faith this show had. This show literally got the CW’s foot in the door with a demographic that it had all but completely alienated by this time last year.

I think it’s safe to say you’ve used that up.

I believe that representation matters. But it doesn’t begin and end with Sanvers. And this season I have watched:

1. A black man and a beloved DC character sidelined as a love interest with no warning, no real explanation, and no further treatment of it—now, as we know, to pair off Kara with the frat-boy reincarnation of Lar Gand 
 2. Kara’s entire arc this season (both Danvers sisters, actually) be reduced to her love interest. Jeremiah who? 
 3. The eighty millionth regurgitation of the “love of a good woman” trope. I don’t need to go into why this is inappropriate on so many levels in a supposedly feminist show that’s marketed towards young women and girls (but I will anyways). 
 4. Characterization and continuity thrown out the window in order to make Mon-El look good and drive the plot. 

 For Jeremiah’s deception to fool everyone but Mon-El, not only do we have to assume that it never occurred to trained government operatives that he could be a plant, we also have to believe that a) no one examined him at the DEO, b) if they did, no one knows the difference between a robotic arm and a human one, and c) we have to forget that Hank/J’onn is a literal mind reader. 

 You can only excuse so much before it starts to look like you’re tearing down your title character and your actual core ensemble in order to make a character relevant to the plot.
 5. Kara repeatedly insist that she doesn’t like Mon-El, she doesn’t want to be around him—only to have him harass her until she dates him (or forgives him). 
 6. Alex “Come near my family and I will end you” Danvers push her sister repeatedly at a man who Kara has openly expressed dislike for multiple times; who, once they’re dating, disrespects and lies to her repeatedly. She excuses his behavior on more than one occasion. (Are we sure they haven’t all been replaced with White Martians?) 
 7. Watch Kara be put in a position (sometimes transparently contrived, as in “Homecoming”) where she either has to apologize to Mon-El because he’s been justified by the narrative, or, for some unknown reason (usually prodding from another character, like Alex or the Music Meister), decides to forgive him. Over and over and over again. 
 8. An actual episode, supposedly focused on the Danvers family, where Mon-El has more screen time than the actual lead and drives a plot he isn’t even relevant to.

This show was, nominally, about Kara Danvers. Her as a whole person; trauma, family, grief, rage, jealousy—and her deep desire in spite of what she’d been through to give back to her adoptive home and do the right thing. It was about her professional life, trying to make her way in the world and working for the kind of woman that could help her learn how to do those things. It was about her assumptions being challenged—not narratively bludgeoned—and her learning. But most of all, it was about her becoming her own person. A whole person.

That show is gone. Her single main arc this season as a character is rehabilitating the galaxy’s most unrepentant frat boy by… arguing with him a lot and constantly being pushed to a point where she’s ready to break up with him, apparently. People are so quick to say “But he’s learning!”; “But Kara’s a stick-in-the-mud!”; “She’s prejudiced too!” (I’m pretty sure you call “prejudice” against a shameless misogynist “standards”, but what do I know, I’m gay). They’re missing the point. And that is:

Kara’s story now revolves around Mon-El.

Arguments and evenings with him have entirely replaced “sister nights” at the end of the episodes. His secrets, his disrespect, his actions, are now driving her development as a character. She mostly only reacts to events outside of that, like another threat from Cadmus, or rescuing Lena Luthor, or whatever’s happening with Jeremiah—but her stance towards those events is reactive.

In other words, Kara no longer drives her own story.

And Kara has lost her job at CatCo. That job that, last year, “kept her connected” to the people she was trying to serve? Disappeared with a whimper after a similarly half-assed treatment to the search for Jeremiah. Kara no longer has a professional life.

But okay. I’m gay; clearly I don’t understand what it’s like to be heterosexual, or in a relationship, and I’m obviously only in this for the Supercorp, right? I should just stay in my lane. I have Sanvers! What else could I possibly want?

Funny you should ask.

Flip side of Alex’s story—I’ve lived in queer communities. I’ve watched friends come out. Women who thought they were straight.

And I watched them struggle with the things they’ve been taught about relationships. What they should want and what’s acceptable from a partner. What love looks like, on that micro, interpersonal level. Things that are, in many ways, inextricably intertwined with gender, in our culture.

Mon-El is the closest thing I can think of to an embodiment of all those things that they struggle to unlearn. Mon-El—and stories like this one—are exactly how they learned those things.

Let me remind you, in case you’ve forgotten, that while the queer lady fanbase for shows tends to have a much wider age range, this show is primarily directed at young women and girls.

A show that’s marketed as “female-centric” has in fact become a show about a woman fixing a man—a man who, incidentally, doesn’t want to be fixed. He just wants to keep banging her.

And these girls are going to grow up and become women—straight or not—who will go out into the world thinking that this is normal. That this is acceptable—to be lied to repeatedly, to have your requests for privacy disregarded, your family spoken to rudely and your parents treated with hostility and suspicion, to have your house broken into, be accused of sleeping with someone by a jealous not-boyfriend, to shoulder the entire emotional weight of making the relationship work by forgiving him over and over and over again—

—Because in the end, the story goes, that will make him (them) better.

The reality is, so often, that it doesn’t. That a person will happily continue taking advantage of someone’s good faith if they think they can get away with it. That jealous behavior like Mon-El exhibits often escalates into physical violence. That a dude who seemingly doesn’t care is often exactly what he seems. Someone who doesn’t want to change will not change, no matter how “much” you love them.

That you owe it to that person to stay with them and pour all your effort into a relationship; that sure, you “deserve better” than to be lied to—But you’re still a terrible person if you don’t give them another chance.

Compared with a relationship that only gets five minutes of screen time most episodes, it feels a little bit like I’m expected to be happy with what I’m offered as a member of the queer female demographic and ignore the utterly cringe-worthy toxicity of the Kara/Mon-El relationship, the abrupt and kinda racist way James was removed from the field, the terrible narrative choices, the plot holes so big you could lose Fort Rozz in them, and, oh yeah—that Supergirl is no longer Kara’s story. It’s the story of Mon-El’s rehabilitation.

I can’t celebrate the representation I’ve wanted for fifteen years when it means I have to ignore the destructive messages the rest of this show is pushing.

And, kinda like a car crash, it’s becoming increasingly clear that whoever is driving this story is not letting off the gas. I don’t know why. But I can see it coming, so I’m bailing.

I want to support positive queer representation. I want to support shows about women, and their stories—all of them. It’s what made me willing to take a risk on this show after the move was announced.

But Supergirl is no longer that story. And damn, I wish it were different. But I recognize the signs. And I’m gonna be spending my Monday evenings watching something else. Something I can enjoy without feeling like I’m throwing anyone who’s not me under the bus. Hanging on and waiting for a change that’s never gonna come.

#supergirl #sanvers #karolsen #supercorp #kara danvers #anti-mon-el #tokenism #i am not here to be used to sell a toxic relationship

[russellthornton]

Fatal Attraction: Signs You Only Like Emotionally Distant Women

If you’re unsure why every woman you end up with seems to be a nut case, it may be because you only like emotionally distant women.

Some guys hit the jackpot every time they go out and find themselves a woman to date. They’re attractive, smart, funny, and can even cook! However, some other guys have a history of dating girls that end up going crazy after a few short weeks of being together. In that case, you may be someone who only likes emotionally distant women.

They have a certain allure that draws you in and captivates you. No matter how much you say you don’t like that type.

The downsides of emotionally distant women

As you can imagine, emotionally distant women aren’t the best types to be dating. I mean, they are emotionally unavailable and distant, after all! That being said, there happens to be a few, obvious drawbacks to them.

They’re needy. They get really emotional over almost anything. They need constant reassurance. They can’t be themselves around you. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg of drawbacks of emotionally distant women.

Signs that you only like emotionally distant women

If you keep scratching your head because you just can’t figure out how you have the worst luck when it comes to finding women that are normal, it could be because you’re more attracted to these damaged ladies.

If you want to know if this is really the case, here are 10 signs to help shed some light on your unfortunate situation.

#1 You love the chase. Guys who love emotionally distant women are the guys who are mostly after the chase. If you are really into a woman because you have to work extra hard to get her, but then find yourself uninterested once she finally reciprocates those feelings, you probably jump all over emotionally distant women.

This type of woman really doesn’t pay you any interest because she’s just not emotionally ready to deal with another person in her life, but you go after her anyways because the chase is so entertaining. [Read: What you need to do when she’s playing hard to get]

#2 You feel the need to ‘fix’ situations. Are you the type of person that always has to fix stuff? If so, then you might only like emotionally unavailable women who just can’t connect with you on an emotional level. These women appear broken and fragile to you and if you have the personality that makes you want to fix them, you could find yourself dating these women without a second thought.

#3 You like feeling extremely masculine. I know that all men like being masculine, but if you’re the type of guy that really needs that extra manly boost for some reason, – like you need to compensate for something. Then you may find yourself attracted to emotionally distant women.

These women are weak and fragile and there’s something about them that makes them seem like they need a man. This is why you feel so manly when you’re with them. And if you need that feeling to be happy, you’ll realize that these women will find their way into your life. [Read: Here’s how you can be masculine without being a jerk]

#4 You need to be needed. Some people just need to feel like they’re needed by others in order to be happy. You may not know that this is you. If you’re happiest when people ask for your help or they need you to be around for some reason, then it is you.

Emotionally weak and distant women tend to be more needy and more dependent on you than if they have their emotions in check. If you’re the type that needs to be needed, then you probably only like emotionally unavailable women.

#5 The “damsel in distress” type is sexy to you. Sure, there’s probably some fantasy out there that has to deal with a poor damsel in distress that is rescued by the big, brave knight and then they bang each other until the sun sets below the forest treetops.

If this sounds like something that would turn you on, then you might find yourself in relationships with emotionally unavailable women more than most. These women seem like they need saving and you’re attracted to the idea of being the savior. [Read: Damsel in distress – Why most men find them irresistible]

#6 You love unpredictable behavior. Although everyone loves a little bit of spontaneity in their relationship, you LOVE never knowing what’s going to happen next. If you are drawn to the idea of always being on your toes with someone, then you most likely are extremely attracted to emotionally distant women.

Since their emotions are relatively all over the place, you never know where they’ll throw you next. That excitement can be addicting, which is why you’ll find that you’re really attracted to this type of woman. [Read: 21 things men do that’ll turn any girl into a crazy girlfriend]

#7 You even like women who get mean or sassy. For some reason, there are men out there who enjoy mean or sassy women. If you’re the type that gets all riled up and excited when your woman is frustrated with you, then you might find that the majority of the women you’re dating are emotionally distant. [Read: 15 types of toxic relationships to watch out for]

#8 Mysterious women drive you nuts. In a really good way. Just like some men love the chase, some men love the idea of getting a mysterious girl to open up to them. It’s like winning the lottery for them if they achieve it.

Women who are emotionally distant have mystery down pat. They don’t let a whole lot of their own emotions out because they’re in such chaos – meaning you’ll be questioning what they’re thinking. If this sounds like something you go for, then you could only like emotionally distant women.

#9 Your friends always warn you about the girl. Now, this is a sign that I shouldn’t even have to put on here because if your friends are warning that a girl is “crazy” or doesn’t seem like a good fit for you, you should just know.

However, if you only like emotionally distant women, you often hear your friends protesting your advances toward a girl like that. So listen up and if you hear some complaints, it could be because you’re headed down the road emotionally distant women lay out for you. [Read: The trophy wife – Who is she and why do all men desire one?]

#10 You’re turned on by the idea of a girl who is recently out of a relationship. Some men love women who have recently been dumped and are in need of some gluing back together.

This isn’t just because they’re brokenhearted, but because they like to prove that men are good and that not all of them would break their heart. If this is you, then you could be only attracted to emotionally distant women. [Read: 15 reasons why the nice guys always finish last]

How to stop only liking emotionally distant women

Okay, so you’ve admitted you only like girls who are emotionally distant, now what? If you really want to get over your infatuation with this type of woman, you’ll need to follow these steps.

#1 Realize it will never work. You might be turned on by the idea of her right now, but if you get close enough to her emotional instability you’ll find that there’s a lot more chaos there than you can handle.

#2 Get to know her better first. Instead of diving into dating a new girl exclusively, get to know her better. Spending time just talking with her can tell you a lot more than you would find out by just getting physical.

Ask her about her life, past, and present situation before deciding if she’s stable enough for you. [Read: Emotional maturity: 13 clues to know if someone has it]

#3 Realize the positives of an independent woman. You think you love being needed and being the person who fixes everything for a woman. Have you ever thought about how much more an independent woman has to offer you?

I think you’ll find that you’ll be more turned on by what qualities an independent woman can bring to a relationship than what emotionally distant women can contribute.

[Read: Emotionally unavailable women: How to get through the ice]

If you only like emotionally distant women, your love life is almost always going to be in shambles. These signs help you realize if you’re only into this type of woman so you can learn to stop liking them.

The post Fatal Attraction: Signs You Only Like Emotionally Distant Women is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.