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cherrydreamer · 3 years

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Jonathan was honestly surprised that the place still existed.

The old photography studio feels like a place of days gone by, but it’s still a place where generations of Hawkins’ families gather for staged family photos, where Mr. Wren digs out a shabby rabbit puppet to get toddlers to give toothy smiles, while his son flirts shamelessly with the moms until he teases out the perfect, natural smile. The kind of place where you can trace whole lives on the walls lined with portraits celebrating births, graduations and retirements.

Not that Jonathan sees much of that. Because his new job means that he’s pretty much always squirreled away in the pokey little room at the back, working the printing machine and developing the rolls of film dropped off by all the residents of Hawkins who don't trust that newfangled technology at the Fotomat (which Jonathan is certain is actually pretty similar to the tech he’s using) and then packaging their prints up into neat little envelopes ready to be collected.

It’s easy enough work for decent enough pay. No one bothers him. The two Mr. Wrens keep to themselves and they don’t mind if Jonathan listens to music while he works, as long as he gets the job done on time. Which he always does, because there’s not exactly a surge of demand for his services. Except, of course, from his friends. Or, more specifically, Will's friends. And even more specifically, Max.

Max, who’d been given a new camera for her birthday by a surprisingly generous Billy and was most certainly taking advantage of Jonathan's offer of cheap rolls of film and even cheaper processing.

But Jon didn’t really mind that much. Because Max has a knack for catching her subjects right in the middle of the action, and her photographs are filled with so much joy that Jonathan can't help but smile fondly at her pictures as they print out in front of his eyes, delighted to see so many images of Will laughing and smiling. Whenever he sees them, Jonathan feels a real rush of fondness for the whole Party, the kids who’d been through so much, who’d suffered together and struggled together and finally, finally come out the other side, and he finds himself gazing at some of the images for a while, relishing the pure happiness that radiates from them.

It's as he's staring at one particular image, trying to work out if the mess of hair sticking up behind a pile of D&D books belongs to Mike or Will, that he sees it. Them. Billy and Steve. Sitting together on the couch at the Wheeler's house, right in the background of the shot. He hadn't realised at first, because the picture actually cuts off most of Billy, just leaving a slice of his jeans and one denim clad arm in frame. But it's got to be him. Jon quickly checks back to confirm it, and yep, there's a photo of Billy from earlier in the day- one where he’s peering over Will’s shoulder with a look of absolute wonder on his face as he stares down at the sketchbook on Will’s lap- and the double denim is there clear as day. But Jon can't quite work it all out. Because if it is him in the later picture then he's sitting pretty damn close to Steve. The arm in question is slung right over Steve's shoulder, and the slice of leg that Jon can see is pressed right against Steve's thigh. And Steve's beaming, leaning into the touch just a little. Like he wants it. Like he's seeking out more.

It's not much. But Jon files the thought away.

And he starts looking for it. And with every roll of film that Max brings in, Jonathan starts spotting more and more shots of Billy and Steve. He sees them laughing together in the background or sitting close beside each other right at the edge of the frame. He catches Steve’s foot pressed right up against Billy’s under a table, and he loses count of the times that he sees one of them gazing at the other with a look he could only describe as ‘smitten’. He spots Billy in one of the earliest snaps of a set, wearing his usual denim jacket, and then he sees the exact same jacket draped around Steve's shoulders in the later shots, the ones where the kids are all standing outside watching Max teach El some skateboarding tricks. And then he sees something else. It's in one of the skateboarding pictures, one where whoever is holding the camera has zoomed in to capture El's delighted smile, that Jonathan spots the other detail they've unintentionally managed to catch.

Steve's pinkie finger hooked around Billy's.

Jonathan doesn't say anything. But he makes sure that that particular print doesn't make it into the brown envelope. He knows Max won't notice the discrepancy. But she might notice the detail. Because Jonathan can’t see anything else now. He can’t shake the image. The weight of such a tiny gesture. The meaning behind it.

But it’s a few weeks before he gets to put the rest of the puzzle together. It’s yet another one of Max's rolls of film that does it. One that starts off just like all the others, with photos of Max and the rest of the party hanging out together. At Steve's this time, Jon notices. He's gotten good at recognising the background details now. It's mostly photos of the the girls at first, Max and El trying out new hairstyles, their hair twisted into dozens of tiny little braids dotted all around their heads and tied with bright elastics, and then all shaken out until it's big and bushy and standing out like two lions' manes. And then there’s the makeover series, El with neon green eyeshadow and far too much lipstick, Max with ripped fishnets on her arms and eyeliner like a panda. Jon laughs when he sees the next pictures, a couple of awkwardly posed shots of the boys experimenting too, Lucas with bright pink lips and a huge grin, contrasting well with Mike's bright blue eyeshadow and sullen pout, both with Dustin and Will in the background, their hair tied up in tiny bunches, cheeks red from laughing.

Jonathan's still chuckling to himself when he moves onto the next pictures. The ones that were obviously taken much later that night, when the kids had left and, he assumes, Max had forgotten her camera.

They're of Steve and Billy. Just the two of them this time and both clearly drunk, Billy topless and grinning with two beer cans in his hands and a cigarette in his mouth, sitting in a way that gives him a little roll of flesh on his stomach, a detail that makes him appear so much softer, more real than Jonathan has ever seen him. And then there’s Steve with his face far too close to the camera lens, blurry and out of focus and with his hair in disarray and an artful pout on his lips. A few more; Billy with his tongue sticking out, raising a middle finger, Steve balancing a beer can on his head and then Steve staring down at a spreading wet patch on the floor, his T-shirt soaked and stained. They’re typical teen photos. Nothing out of the ordinary. Boys messing around. Desperately clinging to the kinds of freedom and recklessness that they’re now old enough to know will soon be overtaken by nine to fives and worrying over bills and thoughts of marriage and kids and futures. But Jonathan takes in how big their grins are, how the photos are just as joyous and as full of fun as the ones Max takes of the Party. How happy they both look.

Jon moves on to the next one. Steve and Billy again. It’s not exactly framed well, seemingly taken by Billy holding the camera at arm’s length and guessing where he needs to aim. It's tilted at a bit of an angle, catching more of Steve than of Billy; and it’s a little blurry, because they’re both too close to the lens.

But there's no mistaking it now. It captures everything it needs to.

Because they're very clearly kissing.

It's chaste, just a simple press of closed mouths, but Jonathan feels moved by the tenderness emanating from the image. Steve's hand is gently cupping Billy's chin, his fingertips brushing against Billy's cheeks which glow with a pink flush. They both radiate contentment, smiling into each other in a way that hints at the true depth of the love between them. It's obviously no drunken show, no silly dare watched by a braying audience. This is a kiss between lovers. It's true and real and good and sweet and Jonathan finds himself smiling at the sight of it.

Jonathan glances over at the next picture. This time it’s Steve taking it, holding the camera out as Billy dozes with his head resting on Steve's shoulder and his face smushed into Steve’s neck. Steve’s other arm is wrapped around him, holding him close, and there’s such a fond, warm smile on Steve’s face that it feels even more intimate than the kiss.

Jonathan almost feels wrong for looking. For intruding.

He moves quickly onto the next image. The last one. And this is of Max again, obviously having reclaimed her camera as it’s her and Lucas at the arcade, Max with her fist raised in triumph as she beats yet another one of Dustin's' high scores. Jonathan feels almost disappointed as he checks that there are no more photos lurking, no more rolls of film to go, and then he collects up all the photos, slipping the few pictures of Billy and Steve away from the rest and sealing them, along with the negatives, in their own brown envelope which he hides in one of the locked cabinets. And then he goes home. Mind whirling.

---

He knows he did the right thing when he sees Steve waiting outside the studio the next morning. He's trying to look nonchalant as he leans against the window, but Jonathan can tell by the mess of his hair that he's been tugging on it, and he notes the waver in Steve's voice when he asks if Max dropped any film off recently.

"Uh, yeah," Jonathan fumbles for the keys, letting them both in even though it's technically still half an hour before opening, "Yeah she came by yesterday, why?"

Steve's eyes widen at that, his hand going right back to his hair before he shoves it forcefully into his pocket, “Well, uh, she...there's some ones on there she doesn't want you to see. Private ones. Girl stuff, yeah? Her and El. So... I need to get it back? For them?"

He's holding out his hand, and Jonathan can see how his fingers tremble. He doesn't draw it out.

"I already printed them all, Steve. Last night. Let me-"

Jonathan turns to the door of the backroom, already reaching out to open the cabinet, but there's a firm hand digging into his shoulder and suddenly Steve's pushing him into the little room, shoving his back hard against the wall and jabbing a finger into his chest, "I don't know what you think you've seen, but listen, Byers, if you dare-" Steve's attempting to force some threat into his tone, to draw on the old King Steve persona, but his eyes give away just how scared he is. So Jonathan holds up both hands, keeping his voice soft as he gently pushes Steve’s finger away, "I know what I saw, Steve and it's. It’s OK. Really."

"Here.” He reaches for the packet, handing it to Steve and then stepping away as he opens it and takes the photos out, “ No one else has seen them, I promise. And I won’t say a word.” Jonathan watches Steve's face as the words land, seeing it shift from fear to confusion as he glances from the photos back at Jonathan, "There are some sweet ones there. Really nice. You two look...you look so happy together."

Steve takes a deep breath, hands still shaking as he fumbles to get the photos back into the packet. Jonathan reaches out slowly to take them from him and slide them in, careful not to leave fingerprints, before handing it back to Steve.

“We are.” Steve nods, a smile flicking across his face. “Happy. But I don’t. I didn’t...You don’t...?” His breath speeds up, and Jonathan reaches out to place a hand on his shoulder. “Just let me know if you want any extra prints of those,” Jon gestures to the packet in Steve’s hands. “Or if...if you you guys want to take more? With your own camera? I can always print those too. Discreet service.” He taps his nose with a wink, then cringes a little, hands fluttering up as he tries to explain, “I don’t mean... I just meant normal pictures. Not that you’re not- shit. But I...I just meant couple photos. Sweet ones. Not like, not like...nudes.” He whispers the last word, cringing again, but Steve’s laughing, shaking his head as he waits for Jonathan to stop spluttering, and then he looks him straight in the eyes, a huge smile still on his face, “Dude, we’ve got a Polaroid for that. But thanks, Byers. I’ll keep it in mind.”

#harringrove #through jonathan #and ok yeah #i don't really know how 80s photo developing worked #i did some research #and it looked like lil Mom and Pop stores would probably have similar tech to the Fotomats #from what I could gather #but i may have slipped some 90s/UK tech in there too #but no one is reading this for period accurate photography tech right?#cherrywrites

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mma3youf · 3 years

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FA222 ,principles of graphic design:

Instructor: mr.munwar mukhtar

@uob-funoon @mnwrzmn

Project 1 : interviews

What is your given name, and user name on ZBrush Central?

My name is Khalid Abdulla Al-Muharraqi, my ZBrush Central user name is "Khalid72".

Tell us about your company, how did you start?

I set up Muharraqi-Studios to continue my family's history in the creative world and I am trying to continue to build on what my father started. The company was set up about two years ago after I left the commercial world of advertising with my partner Rashad who decided to leave a career in banking. We wanted to get together to make a place that allows us to be more creative. Since then we have been fortunate enough to work on some of the biggest projects in the middle east, and also continue working on our ideas and concepts, like our movie project. The most important thing for me is the work I do and that's what we are all about.

What is the size of your company?

The company is me and my partner, oh and our secretary... Keesha, a German Shepard! I am a hand's on guy and I do all the creative work myself. At first, I thought it was normal to carry that load because of the speed I work in, but later found out that I am actually very fast compared with bigger teams of artists in other studios. Finally I understood what people were telling me when they said I was 'unusual'. That’s why some of the CG magazines in Europe were amazed that a lot of our work is done by a one man team that puts all the 3D components together into a visualization. I work about 13 to 18 hours a day, I love 3D work, so my hobby and my work has joined into one, so … yes, very little time for a normal life.

What type of projects do you work on?

Well, I have been working on Architectural Visualizations since we started a couple of years ago, but I try to satisfy my urge to do what I really like, art!

You're located in Bahrain, somewhere most of us don't know about. Can you tell us how you learned your trade?

I love this question, Yes Bahrain is a small Island in the Persian gulf, we speak Arabic as our main language and English for the second, I will answer the second part in two parts, If you mean The art... I would say that I come from an artistic family, my father is one of the most well known artists in this part of the world, you can say that he is a household name in these parts. If you are asking were did I learn the 3D or CG art, I would say that I learned it by practicing for 8 hours a day after my official day of work, so I guess you can say I have been my own teacher in the industry.

Tell us a bit about your client base, mostly local, or do you have clients in Europe, Asia, America?

We serve clients from the Middle East, Europe and the Americas, I would say that I have been fortunate enough to have worked with some of the top people in the architectural industry, most of our clients are attracted to the type of work that we produce.

ow long have you been an artist?

Since I was six...I think! Well, the first painting I have sold when I was eleven. I was always painting and trying to find new techniques that will help create the concept in my mind.

Tell us about your background, your education, your mentors...

I studied art in Houston Texas for over seven years between interior decoration, photography, Visual communication, and digital enhancement or photo retouching, from there I have continued my working career in the commercial world. My first mentor would have to be my father, learned everything I know from him. He gave me the push start into the art world and made me feel it. There are also the books and artwork he has exposed me too with some of the top art in the world. A lot of names come to mind but I would say Frank Farazeta, Boris, The Creepy magazine and of course all the original Mad magazines and books that were very hot in the early 80's.

When you became an artist, did you first use traditional media?

For sure, I started with Pencil then got into crosshatching with ink, then I started painting with water colors and gouaches. I finally got into air brush art before I tried CG art.

What was your first CG package? What is your first 3D Package?

Nice question... first CG software was PSD, version 2, it was like magic... It felt strange especially that I was a traditional artist at the time. My first 3D package would be Alias Sketch for the Mac since I was a Mac user for a long time and did not have much 3D developers for Mac at the time. It was a new world for me and I think I still have a dusty copy of it today even after the software was canceled back in the early 90's, it just reminds me of my past.

How long have you been using ZBrush?

It has only been about six months, but I was up and running almost a few hours after I purchased it.

What made you try ZBrush?

I was watching some of the tutorial videos on how to paint details on the Gnomon training DVD's, and that's when I was shocked to see that it is art on the computer! I did not believe it at first, but It was one of the happiest moments when I first installed my first copy of ZBrush and started painting geometry for the first time, it reminded me with the days when I was pushing and pulling real clay to make a small creature of my imagination when I was a kid.

What's your favorite ZBrush feature?

The ability to paint geometry like it is physically in my hands.

How has ZBrush enabled you to express yourself in ways other packages couldn't?

Well you cant really compare it with any other software, it's simply too different! It changes how a CG artist works, it changes how he looks at things, has changed the industry to the next future leap, and who would want to go back to the past....? I would simply say that the concept of the software is very smart and impressive, my only wish to add on it is to have a bigger view port :)

Now onto "Floating Islands"Tell us about your creative process, how did this concept emerge?

One evening when I was stuck in the studio waiting for clients approval on a project that I was preparing for the kingdom of Bahrain, I was trying to get free again and relax my mind from all boundaries, I started to sketch a concept that has bean in my mind since I was a kid, the island that was then discovered to be on the back of a whale, these were some of the old middle eastern stories about Sinbad's magical voyages.

Do ideas just come to you out of nowhere, or are there particular artists or work you are inspired by?

I am always inspired by everything that is beautiful, whether it is an artist or a design or just Gods creation, I would also say that I have always had my own style in my work and almost never try to follow a certain style that I have seen.

I love this piece, can you tell me about the process of creating it? Have you explored this style before? Or was this created for something specific?

The process was, a sketch or the map as I would call it, and that would be the basis of my creation, I almost never start without it, once I crack the direction then I would start thinking about the execution and the path to take. About the style, well I don't think of my work as style, I think it is more towards I do what I feel, it is only when I am finished with it that I say "Yes! That's what I was tying to do". I almost never tried to repeat a style that I have seen elsewhere on my work. I feel that It is like a code of respect between artists.

In your image "Floating Islands" where was ZBrush used?

ZBrush helped me sculpt the geometry and take it to the next level in a short time. Modeling, UVs, Painting and scenes setups was between Lightwave and Modo. With ZBrush I was able to put the final touches that would make it come to life. ZBrush helped me start painting the UV map textures and setting up the foundation of the look and feel. I also generated some of the whales textures by the amazing ZMapper ;)

Tell us about your pipeline.

I start with Modo, then go to ZBrush, then finally render with Lightwave. The thing with software today is that they work hand in hand to complete each other, for instance ZBrush is very specialized in what it does, it focuses on the need of the artist and helps the creator to complete his task sufficiently with a smooth flow, artists have never had it this good.

What projects are you working on now?

We have just completed the visualization for the Master Plan for the Kingdom of Bahrain with one of the leading Architectural firms in the world, we have helped restructure and rebuild old and new cities for the country. Now I will be working more onto the movie project that we have been trying to get the time to start, hopefully I will be able to focus more on creating more Characters and environments for the movie.

Any last comments for us?

I would like to say Thank you to Manuel at Pixologic and Pixologic for appreciating the work I do. I would also like to thank all the development team and staff at Pixologic for there dedication to work together to help create some of the best tools ever created for the CG industry, I always expect the ideas to be fresh and most importantly designed for the end user, the artist, allowing the artist to continue being an artist without the restrictions and boundaries of a computer.

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therealdanadistortion · 6 years

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We Don't Need No Education, or, Why I Believe Failure is the Main Ingredient in the Recipe for Success

I was a horrible student my entire youth and teen years. I refused to sit in a classroom or even attend class most of the time. I was rude to my teachers, restless in class, and I just didn't want to be there. By the time I was twelve, I got kicked out of my first school (for bad behavior—what else?). By fifteen, I was kicked out of the second.

It wasn't that I didn't want to learn; quite the opposite, I was a very curious kid. But I couldn't deal with the dictatorial system by which the school operated. Though I do understand why the world and especially kids need discipline, for me, it was just too much to take. All I wanted to do was go home, listen to music, and escape into the world inside my head. Or hang out with my friends. I didn’t want to be forced to do what I didn't want to do, or to be told what I needed, or how I should think, and I definitely did not want be graded for being smart or stupid.

School was a joke to me; I didn’t want anything to do with it. Many times I begged my parents to let me drop out of school, but my dad said, Dana, we don't ask you for much, we let you be who you are and most of the time we let you do what you want, but please, for mom and I, just finish school.

As a kid I don't remember ever complaining to my parents about being bored. There was a full, rich world that existed in my head, and I was often confused of what was fantasy and what was reality. In my early youth, I used to tell the kids in my class stories about stuff that never really happened. The stuff in my head maybe didn't happen, but I believed it did. I really wanted those wonderful stories to be true. Kids in class just thought I was a liar. I wasn't a liar, I just preferred to live in a better place where no one could hurt me, a world where I could fly instead of walk, a world where Barbie dolls were real humans and became your best friend. A world where the music was free (yes, that sort of turned true with the birth of broadband and Spotify). A world where I didn't have to sit in a classroom with thirty other kids who smelled bad or made annoying noises. A world where I wasn't being forced to listen to hours and hours of boring lectures.

I was very against the educational system, to say the least. The fact that I had to listen to one person, whether I agreed with them or not, and do what they told me, just didn't sit well with me.

As a consequence, I failed most classes except the creative ones (shocker). I was miserably sent home time after time, or had to deal with the principal calling my parents saying that if I didn’t change my attitude, I would no longer be permitted to come back to school. Which was exactly what I wanted (my parents however, not so much...). Failure is what I succeeded at when it came to school.

After being professionally diagnosed with severe ADD (they finally found a medical name for being a punk), I was sent to a special school. A school with other kids like me. Kids who wanted to listen to music and make things and explore the world on their own, in their own way.

My parents were always good to me—they just got me. I have always felt like they’re proud that I was different. They saw a little bit of them in me. They gave me freedom, they let me dye my hair crazy colors and wear red fluffy coats (even my fashion sense was a head of its time). They let me go to music clubs and listen to my favorite bands and travel to music festivals even though they knew the kids there were much older than me. They trusted me, and let me fail. I believe that's a huge reason why I trust myself so much to this very day. Even if I'm not confident about my path, I keep going, knowing that everything will be okay. I will make it okay.

As I grew up, I learned how to separate my dream world from the real world. But I never stopped escaping to that world inside my head. I realized that people could not go in there and see what I see, even if I tried to explain it to them. Eventually, I learned how to bring that world from inside my head to the outside world and share it with whomever wanted to listen. Whether it was through my photography, my writing, or starting my own clothing line, I realized that the options are endless.

I don't always share my inner world with others. Sometimes I go there by myself, through music, films, crafting, editing photos in my studio for hours and hours, or designing clothes. But I do spend a great deal of my head time learning new things.

It turns out the kid who never liked to study is now wanting to learn new things all the time. I take classes, watch hours and hours of tutorials on pretty much everything, and read books. I do it at my own pace, with no one telling me what or how to learn, or yelling at me that I’m a failure. And I couldn’t be more grateful. l realize I am very lucky to live in an era where information is available so easily and mostly for free.

People always ask me which photography school I went to. Well, I didn't go to photography school. When I realized that's what my passion was, I grabbed the camera I had (not a very good one), and just started taking photos. Though I came from a film background, photography was a whole new fascinating and complicated world I knew nothing about. It wasn't easy for me. I wanted to be great at it right away. But time has taught me that the cliché “easy come, easy go” is relevant to most things in our lives. I was hungry to learn about photography, and I gave it my all. And when I say my all, I mean MY ALL.

For nine years, music photography was my entire world. No matter how sick I felt, or how unmotivated I was, I shot 4-6 shows a week. Sometimes more, sometimes two shows a night. I shot 10-15 festivals a year, I traveled and toured and didn't stop for anything or anyone. Music photography was my heart and soul, and I learned in nine years what I wasn’t able to in thirty. I met some incredible people along the way, and I created an archive of photos that I couldn’t be more proud of. I had bad days and good days, energetic days and nights of no sleep. I worked hard, yet still got turned down by lots of people.

Getting turned down or not feeling successful or loved is never a good feeling, but I always think to myself what would've happened if I didn't keep on going. If I didn't trust myself, face my failures, and just keep my engine running over the tough roads. Where would I be now If I didn't keep on taking blank shots on my camera over and over and OVER again until I finally learned to get it right. There were many sleepless, panic-filled nights before shooting bands I really loved when I still wasn’t sure what I was doing. I just kept pushing through all the doubt with more and more hard work.

With practice, motivation, and patience, and yes, failure, I can now say with a big smile that the camera is my bitch. I know how to work it and get exactly what I want from it. Now that I can work the damn thing, I can let my inner creativity really shine and come out. I can explore and create new things without worry. I can try out new photography tricks, and I try new things a lot. Even with a limited amount of space and time, I now just really enjoy being a photographer. I have the confidence that comes with time and practice.

I never was taught how to edit photos; I taught myself. Slowly I learned Photoshop, then Lightroom. I trusted myself along the way as I developed my own look, feel, and style. A style I knew was mine. I don't believe in photography editing plug-ins. If I see another photographer using the “retro haze” pre-made plug-in, or a photographer overusing that celerity button without caring that it makes 20 year-olds look like they're 80, I will scream. Photography editing software plug-ins are meant for novice or hobby photographers. Professional photographers using plug-ins are being lazy—period. Plug-ins are for people who don't trust their own skills and don't believe they can be true artists. Just as a photographer would never let someone else take a photo for them, why would they let someone else edit their photos?? Taking photos is only 50 percent of being a photographer. Editing and styling is probably the bulk of the work for most photographers.

I guess what I’m saying is that I feel like some people are afraid of being who they are. Being afraid of failure is one thing, but if it wasn't for our failures, how would we become who we are?

Failure should push one to work harder. And I believe in hard work more than I believe in most things in this world. Working hard comes naturally to me, but it’s also my motto and my true way of life. Learning, getting better, being truly proud of yourself without having to rely on someone else's opinion can absolutely protect you against failure. When I feel like I failed at something, I get sad and hard on myself and take a moment to process that feeling, but then I jump right back in and move on to the next adventure….taking what I've learned from my mistakes with me along for the ride.

I always try to be honest about my failures and mistakes. Lying to myself about it is useless. I know deep inside when I did good or not. I strive to learn, I strive to get better. I strive to never give up on myself.

We can be great at whatever we put our minds to. I truly believe that. If we stop caring so much about what other people tell us to do, or how we should be, greatness can happen. If we stay focused on things we love and stop wasting time on things we hate, that’s our chance at greatness. And if we don't reach that highest peak, it doesn't mean that we failed. It just means that maybe it’s time to take a different path or a different turn.

I think that we don't always need to find the way. We sometimes need to let the way find us.

All we’ve got to do is let go, look, and listen.

So after running around for nine years giving photography everything I had, I have now decided to shift my energy to making things I love. I'm not saying I'm totally quitting, as I'm not a quitter. I also don't believe in making dramatic statements of finality. After all, music photography is and always will be my biggest passion other than music itself. But it's time for me to slow down, and and I've been shifting my focus to other things that make me happy.

I decided to open my own business, creating my own brand. It's called Distortion Unplugged, and it’s a tribute to things I love. It's inspired by music, photography, song lyrics, written words, quotes, visuals, and even films.

I'm truly in love with every single piece that I make. I’m proud of it and proud of myself. I'm proud that I never shut down the ideas and passions I had always welcomed, in spite of mistakes along the way. I never stopped encouraging myself to keep going, even in the hardest times where I felt I failed or felt unattractive or unsuccessful. I'm proud that I made myself be honest about how I felt and said what I wanted to say even when it wasn't always right. Even when no one was listening. Even if I wasn't good enough (yet) at what I was doing.

This is a great time in my life. My biggest passion remains learning and becoming great at things I never thought I could know or want to do. Creating fashion, mastering the kitchen, becoming kickass at SoulCycle, slowly getting back into writing after many years of silence. The things I want to learn are impossible to count. But I truly believe we all have the capacity to do it all. And that failure is not always failure. Sometimes, it's just a little obstacle on the road. Turn around, take a break, put things in perspective, and get back on the road. Never stop believing that one day you'll get to your destination, or who knows? Maybe a destination will find you by chance.

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romantlcdemon · 7 years

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Aizawa ('cause I gotta) anddddd Spooooo.. NO KIRK. Or Kirk and Spock. I don't know.

this is a week late but Shiet Here Goes

aizawa

What they smell like: on average, city smells. rain and asphalt and a hint of smoke. when hes been staying home and hasnt saved the world for a couple days, lavender and cereal.

How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc): has a really hard time getting to sleep, PTSD and anxiety is a bitch to rest with. feels like he has to constantly be working, and when he isnt he just cant focus on something like sleep. when he sleeps he either needs pills or has just worked himself to exhaustion. when that happens, he’ll sleep for an abnormally long time. he insists it doesnt matter how long he goes without sleep because he’ll make it up all at once (even though he knows thats a lie)

What music they enjoy: quiet, lulling songs, songs that seem to surround you and wrap you up in the sound of background noise and whispered voices. im thinkin: [x] [x] [x]

How much time they spend getting ready every morning: he is never ready (always ready?)

Their favorite thing to collect: photos. he insists he’s just never found the time to throw them away, but sometimes he still sits down and sifts through the old memories

Left or right-handed: left

Religion (if any): umm.. i dont think he’d be particularly religious but he probably participates in some shinto traditions and whatnot. maybe buddhism too

Favorite sport: basketball. he just seems like a guy who’d be kickass at basketball

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc): sleeping

Favorite kind of weather: overcast, misty rain. 10 degrees celsius and quiet outside

A weird/obscure fear they have: shadows, especially moving shadows. it goes hand and hand with PTSD and night terrors

The carnival/arcade game they always win without fail: those games where you throw balls into the holes to get points. not basketball, yknow, the other ones. you know

kirk

What they smell like: old spice and sweat. he is A sweatie man. probably victoria’s secret hand lotion too

How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc): he overworks himself all day then just PASSES the fuck out at night. nothing can wake the mass of man that james t kirk becomes in the hours of the light. he has really weird, detailed dreams and likes telling them to people

What music they enjoy: shittttt, a lot of stuff. beastie boys is obvious, the clash, A-Ha, ABBA, bowie, ACDC, anything with the first three letters of the alphabet in it.

How much time they spend getting ready every morning: surprisingly not too much. he has been getting ready the same way for so long he has developed the perfect system for doing his beauty routine in less than thirty minutes.

Their favorite thing to collect: books! books books books. every time he moves he has to call friends over to help him pack up his unnecessarily massive collection of books.

Left or right-handed: right

Religion (if any): jewish

Favorite sport: boxing and baseball

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc): Everything. He Will Be Damned If He Does Not Do Everything

Favorite kind of weather: blue skies with small white clouds scattered around, the sun is shining down and its a comfortable 80 degrees fahrenheit with low humidity.

A weird/obscure fear they have: hm… im not really sure actually. the only thing that comes to mind is lightning, but thats a common fear

The carnival/arcade game they always win without fail: the one where you pick the duck out of the water and if it has a certain number on it you win something. he is just super lucky. a lucky ducky

spock

What they smell like: just really clean. he smells clean. but not like cleaning materials, not like ammonia or anything, just, clean.

How they sleep (sleeping position, schedule, etc): actually has a very erratic sleep schedule. he becomes extremely focused on things and loses track of time, often working through the night without even realizing it. whatever rest he misses, though, he always tries to make up for in meditation

What music they enjoy: anything with strings. detailed, busy music, but not necessarily loud, just intricate. i can’t think of anything specific but he might like tap guitar

How much time they spend getting ready every morning: wake up, flawless

Their favorite thing to collect: artifacts from other cultures that he accumulates over time- the more obscure, the more interesting. he likes to look at them and imagine their stories, stories that he might never know

Left or right-handed: left

Religion (if any): i know hes not human, but, jewish

Favorite sport: he can kick your ass at anything. but lets say ballet or ice-skating. the man moves like he was born in pointe shoes

Favorite touristy thing to do when traveling (museums, local food, sightseeing, etc): museums and cultural sites

Favorite kind of weather: however hot it gets on vulcan. hot and arid

A weird/obscure fear they have: hm… i dont really know. maybe dark, cramped spaces, where his senses are blocked and his awareness is limited. but again, thats not really an uncommon fear

The carnival/arcade game they always win without fail: strength games. like the one where you slam the giant hammer againsst the .. thing

[EXHALES LOUDLY]

#ask #tandembicycles #long post

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ntrending · 5 years

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North Korea's missile program and nuclear weapons: What we know (and don't)

New Post has been published on https://nexcraft.co/north-koreas-missile-program-and-nuclear-weapons-what-we-know-and-dont/

North Korea's missile program and nuclear weapons: What we know (and don't)

A view from the International Space Station of the two Koreas in 2014. (NASA Photo/)

On June 30, President Trump met North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un on the hermit country’s soil—a first for a sitting American president. The moment also appeared to signal a resumption of high-level negotiations over North Korea’s nuclear program.

North Korea is widely considered to have both nuclear warheads (the explosive head of a weapon) and missiles (which deliver the warheads) that can likely reach most corners of the continental U.S. Whether the country can put the two together into a viable nuclear weapon is a bit of an open question—they have yet to show definitely that their missiles can carry a nuclear payload—but it remains a serious international issue.

Using satellite imagery, photos, videos and other intelligence, experts have long tried to keep as close tabs as possible on North Korea’s often-secretive nuclear program. And, as talks over its fate seem poised to continue, here’s a primer on what to know about the country’s capabilities.

Short- to medium-range: meet the Nudong

Presumably, North Korea won’t be dropping nuclear bombs out of an aircraft. So, to know what North Korea is capable of, you need to know what their missiles can do.

The North Korean missile program is generally considered to have begun in the late 1970s or early 80s. At the time, the Soviet Union gave Egypt a stockpile of scud missiles, but not as many as Egypt wanted. So Egypt turned to North Korea to help them decode the technology and make their own scuds— giving both countries access to a supply of reliable missiles.

North Korea has since developed a series of successors that have a range of between 300 and 1,200 kilometers (186 – 746 miles). Also during the Soviet era, North Korea developed an even shorter-range missile known as the KN-02, which can fly about 120 kilometers (75 miles). It’s important to remember that North Korea hasn’t yet shown that any of its weapons can carry a nuclear payload, a fact that is particularly relevant to the KN-02, since its small size requires miniaturized warheads that North Korea may not have the capability to produce.

Once they had scud missiles, North Korea made them bigger and fatter until they arrived at a creation called the “Nodong” — one of its most commonly launched missiles, which can travel up to 1,300 kilometers (808 miles).

More recently, North Korea added a submarine-launched missile to its array. Called the KN-11, it has a Korean name that translates to “Polaris”, which is not-so-coincidentally what the Americans calls its equivalent. One hitch is that North Korea is only known to have one, largely experimental, submarine (and possibly another one underdevelopment).

The country also has what is thought to be a land-based version, the KN-15, though, again, they have never launched a missile and a warhead together.

North Korea’s latest launch came in April. President Trump dismissed it, saying “we don’t consider that a missile test.” Semantics aside, experts believe the country set off a new short-range missile, called the KN-23. Demonstrated only once before, it’s designed for short, low trajectories, can also fly medium-range arcs, and is similar to the Russian Iskander missile, which has a range of between 50 and 450 kilometers (31 and 280 miles)

“This puts US allies like South Korea and Japan in a very difficult position,” Matt Korda, a research associate specializing in North Korea with the Federation of American Scientists, writes via email. “Shorter-range missiles are specifically designed to target those countries.”

The intermediate range: the Musudan and Hwasong-12

North Korea’s early approach to missile development was relatively systematic. “They find something that works, stretch it as far as they can and then stack it,” explains David Schmerler, a senior research associate at the Middlebury Institute of International Studies.

Building on the Nodong, North Korea arrived at the Musudan, which has a range of around 3,200 kilometers (1,988 miles). But that program, which began in the early 2000s, has been shaky at best. It’s only been successfully tested once, says Schmerler.

North Korea’s missile testing accelerated around 2014 and peaked in 2017, a period in which they debuted an array of new technology. During this era, the Musudan’s function was largely replaced with the Hwasong-12 (that translates to “Mars” in Korean). The aim, says Korda, “appears to be intended to attack U.S. staging areas like Guam.”

Perhaps more importantly, the Hwasong-12 was the country’s first indigenously engineered missile — a major step for the North Korea’s nuclear program, and one that helped lead to even longer-range weapons.

The big ones: the Hwasong-14 and 15

North Korea’s nuclear ambitions have always included being able to reach the continental U.S.

Starting in the early 2000s, the Western media speculated that the “Unha” (“galaxy”) series of space launch vehicles could be a round-about way of achieving that goal. But many experts thought that was more hype than function.

“The Unha was more like the boogeyman missile,” says Schmerler. “I never looked at the Unha as a really reliable weapons system.”

In a sense, the Unha was a stop-gap measure until Kim Jong-Un could develop a land based intercontinental ballistic missile (ICBM). That happened in 2017 with the Hwasong-14, which has a range of more than 10,000 kilometers (6,214 miles). This was quickly followed up by the more powerful Hwasong-15.

“The HS-14 could likely target the west coast of the US (including Los Angeles and possibly Denver),” says Korda, “while the HS-15 could potentially target the entirety of the continental United States.”

While no one is sure exactly how many ICBMs North Korea has, seven appeared in a military parade in Pyongyang in early 2018. There are, however, a few caveats to their effectiveness.

One important consideration is how many launch vehicles (called Transport Erector Launchers, or TELs) North Korea has. In 2011, China sold at least six “logging” trucks to the country, in a half-hearted attempt to disguise the transfer of TELs. The latest ICMBs, however, require bigger TELs, so North Korea may have repurposed or cannibalized some of their original Chinese equipment for that task. That makes it difficult to know exactly how many operational TELs are left, which the country must have in order to launch an ICBM.

Another major unknown is whether North Korea’s ICMBs can survive re-entry into the atmosphere during a strike; an ability that’s not yet been proven. But, Korda says, “just because the North Koreans have yet to publicly demonstrate re-entry, it doesn’t necessarily mean that the ICBMs wouldn’t work as designed.”

Schmerler has a similar take, noting that the U.S. would be taking a big risk by assuming it’s not possible.

“In general, most people are on board with the idea that [North Korea] could hit most of the continental US,” he says. “Are you going to hedge on [them] not being able to make re-entry?”

Still, there’s much we don’t know about the opaque program. For example, the exact number of nuclear weapons North Korea has is also unclear (estimates put the arsenal between about 20 and 60 warheads).

Where they’re located is an unknown as well. “The missiles and launchers are largely hidden in the vast network of underground tunnels and caves that flow throughout North Korea,” says Korda. ”It’s basically impossible to tell where North Korean missiles are at any given time.”

Schmerler estimates that there are about 20 or so nodes around the country where missiles are concentrated. “When they get the order to go launch,” he said, “they just disperse.”

If North Korea can indeed marry its warheads to its missiles, it could create a bomb 15 times more powerful than the one dropped on Hiroshima. Once fired, a North Korean ICBM could reach Alaska in as little as 29 minutes.

Written By Tik Root

#Science

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foodieworldmelbourne · 6 years

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This man prefers you don't know his name. But he let our photojournalist into his world

Updated September 16, 2018 09:28:47 Map: Melbourne 3000

Photo: The old orchardist, who prefers to remain in obscurity, polishes one of the little apples he's spent more than 30 years quietly developing. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) In a world gripped by 'go big or get out', he had a bold idea. Go small. In patched jacket and faded beanie, the man treads across the paddock. His face, inscrutable. His diminutive frame tinier still against the towering messmates, the peppermints. A black and tan kelpie trots ahead like a sentry, ears erect, tail high. The morning ritual. An old orchardist's early-rising habits die hard. Between his fingertips, you know without looking there'll be the stub of a cigarette, hand rolled. The old butts accumulate in the pocket of his overalls. He is not quite a recluse you can sometimes chance upon him at the local shopping centre. Or you might spy him walking the dog on a deserted oval. But he is beyond private.

Photo: Home is 17 slender acres in Victoria's Yarra Valley. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) Never has there been a more reluctant hero of his own story. Such is his aversion to the spotlight, his desire to avoid any kind of publicity, that between agreeing to tolerate my presence and this story nearing publication, he will insist his identity be withheld. You will never know his name. You will hardly get a good look at his face. This is a man hiding in plain sight, even from the photographer. That I am here at all is a miracle of spousal influence, though his wife also doesn't want to be known. Whenever I visit she performs a vanishing act of her own, staying inside or tripping off to the swimming pool in town. God's country 'Here' is 17 slender acres tucked into the folds of Victoria's Yarra Valley. On this undulating strip of land, man and wife neither from farming backgrounds made a life as orchardists. It was here they unearthed what became, for him at least, an obsession: reinventing the apple, in miniature. The little apples, as he calls them, the term of endearment embedded. "If you take on a project like this, you have to become besotted," he tells me. "If you half-heartedly go into it, it'll never succeed. So while you can, and while you're younger, you chase." To observe him here is to be struck by the sense of a tiny god in his own beappled Garden of Eden, tending to creation. It's exactly the kind of grandiose impression he doesn't want conveyed. He rejects anything that starts to sound like a romanticised account of his life's work. But it's undeniable. One big producer aware of the little apple describes it as a 'magnificent' achievement. Creating a new variety of fruit is a kind of holy grail for growers who are always looking for a unique product.

Photo: "If you half-heartedly go into it, it'll never succeed. So while you can, and while you're younger, you chase." (ABC News: Jane Cowan) 'A certain charm' In the corrugated iron shed, the old orchardist leans on the counter, polishing a tiny apple with a swatch of toilet paper. Packing instructions lean against the wall. A motorised pushbike is propped where the window light meets the shadow. It's aimed sometimes at the apple trees, full pelt, to scare off the parrots. A conventional apple weighs 160, 170 grams, he's telling me. There's already a smaller variety on the market. But the old grower isn't perturbed. His is tinier still. At 44, 45 grams, it's a quarter the size of an ordinary apple. He imagines it plated, whole, at a fine dining restaurant. On a cheese platter, perhaps. His wife sees it as a snack apple in school lunch boxes. The orchardist doesn't like the term 'miniature' or 'mini'. Forget 'tiny'. Same goes for 'dwarf'. 'Baby' is unacceptable. ("Nobody eats babies.") 'Fairy' he particularly hates. "No, see, they've all got connotations," he says. For him, the word has always been 'little'. "It's got a certain charm to it, right? One of the little people. "But there's nothing wrong with being little," he adds, a twinkle in his eye. "I'm five foot two in my boots."

Photo: The orchardist's overalled legs and boots protrude from an apple tree during picking. As commercial fruit growers have scaled up, his small operation has become an anachronism. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) Believing In the old man's book, people fall into two categories. You're either a believer or a non-believer. His wife is a believer, obviously. A partner, almost as steeped in the little apples as he is. Though the constant talk of little apples has become wearing, like a third presence in their marriage over the decades. "She's been putting up with this since the 80s. Quite frankly I think she's sick of hearing 'apples'. "If I mention the word 'apple' she's just as likely to throw a box at you. And I don't blame her." A nearby commercial grower has told the orchardist he's wasting his time. Non-believer. Fact is, the little apples have already been in some high places. Big hotels and upmarket restaurants in Sydney and Melbourne. A fruit shop in Toorak. Stephanie Alexander took the little apples to the Melbourne Cup one year. They graced wineries, function venues. They were bottled and sold into David Jones. Exported to Asia. The orchardist remembers one business meeting in the dining room of a swanky city high-rise, pianist tinkling in the corner. Coffee and biscuits delivered to the table. The head chef in his white gum boots. The little apple was earning respect.

Photo: The orchardist handles his produce the old-fashioned way. By hand, in wooden boxes. The little apples are a quarter the size of an ordinary apple. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) Reinventing the apple It all began with a hail storm. Necessity. Invention. At the time the orchardist was in berries and cherries. Overnight, everything was shredded. If he was to salvage an income for the following year, he needed to plant something else, pronto. "What can we plant?" he asked a friend who'd grown up on an orchard. "Zucchinis or tomatoes," came the answer, these fast-cropping annuals long the saviour of farmers in a pinch. The orchardist's agent happened to have a spare 1,000 tomato plants. Cherry tomatoes. Into the ground they went. The following year they were harvested and taken to market. "They were brand new on the scene at the time and I could not grow enough of the things, could not pick enough to satisfy the market." The orchardist's customers included Trans Australia Airlines, for in-flight meals on international routes. The next year cherry tomatoes were everywhere. But the experience had set an idea germinating in the orchardist's head. "We tried to work out what we could grow that's different to ordinary, everyday. "I don't like competition. I never enjoyed going to market, I could not deal satisfactorily with buyers on price, I hated haggling. I would set a price and if I didn't get it, half the time I'd bring the fruit home. "I like to be a bit different. I was trying to get something in which there was no competition. "And so we conceived the idea of the little apple to the big apple, applying the same principle as had worked with tomatoes." Why not little oranges or little pears? "Little pears had already been done, strangely enough. They were very delicate and came in little weeny packets with little pull-on socks, individually wrapped." The snap of the lighter punctuates our conversation. "But there was no little apple I'd ever seen. Everybody ate apples, you know, they were a universal, widely accepted fruit. So that's what we really thought." From there on in, the trajectory goes something like this: "We had the idea. We searched nurseries for a little edible apple. None available. We read books on horticulture that thick," he pinches the air, indicating three inches "No mention of a little edible apple anywhere. "So we went and bought every crabapple tree variety you could find, and planted them. None were suitable to eat. So we had to start looking further afield." Which meant roadside verges, football grounds, people's backyards. "Anywhere there was an apple tree, we would grind to a halt. Ha. "It had to have apples in it, to see what size they were. And sometimes you'd come a gutser because they'd turn out to be conventional apples with no water and no fertiliser and no thinning so they'd just grown pretty small." But his best friend knew where there was one. The location of that original little apple tree, the orchardist will take to his grave. Suffice to say, he got his hands on a sample. He learned to bud and graft. He learned about root stocks and scions. And he learned how to wait. Apple trees take four years to bear fruit. "I can remember the trees. They were neglected because we just left 'em to grow because we were concentrating on earning a living off berries and cherries. Once we realised the fruit was at all saleable we'd have to pull them out of a big patch of grass and stuff."

Photo: The orchardist wrangles nets in preparation for covering the trees to protect against birds. Hail is another threat. (ABC News: Jane Cowan)

Photo: At 75, the physical labour involved in maintaining the trees has become harder to manage. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) From royalty cheques to fear of theft Though he doesn't eat fruit ("Never have, even as a child."), the orchardist knows the subtleties of the little apple by touch and sight. What it means when the leaves are curled. How a greasy skin indicates a little apple is ripe. To be sure by checking the colour of the seeds. Black, not brown. How to control the shape of a tree by choice of root stock. Even when big names began picking up the little apple, though, it wasn't earning the orchardist the handsome living you might imagine. Fruit growing never did. "We had one very good year. And it was on cherries. They were in short supply, and we had a crop. "The rest of the time, oh well, we got by. "Some years were so bad that my wife went to work in the general store, I went to work at other orchards." But the little apples were being well received, and six years after the orchardist first dreamt them up the fruit was in steady demand. A niche market had been created. The orchardist would leave home at two o'clock in the morning in a Morris Minor "loaded to the gills" and deliver his produce by hand in the city before driving back again and beginning work on the farm. Later, when it got too much, there was a partnership with a big grower, and regular royalty cheques from the little apples. But, after a decade, the big grower got out of apples altogether, re-entrusting the little ones to their creator. Inventor became guardian.

Photo: In his study the orchardist smokes and plots and worries. To this day he has trouble sleeping past 2am, the time he used to rise on market days. (ABC News: Jane Cowan)

Photo: True to his surveying background, the orchardist has long kept meticulous diaries recording the details of life on the farm. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) Inventing something brings with it a certain amount of anxiety. "Part of the danger is theft of budwood," explains the orchardist. "If you let strangers onto your property, especially growers who know, they're not beyond snapping a scion off a bush and waving the flies away and it goes down inside their shirt and when they get home, it's bloody well grafted and it's gone." This fear is the reason for the string across the driveway, the draped coat whenever apple boxes are left in view in the back of the ute. "Because once it's out, you've lost your exclusivity. "At the moment you've got the exclusivity of the one I found and hopefully the parent tree I got it from has now carked it or disappeared off the face of the earth, so it's nowhere else but here." Even the neighbours don't know about the little apples, the orchardist says.

Photo: With scrapes from apple tree branches on his hand, the orchardist puffs on an ever-present cigarette as he loads his ute after picking. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) Buyer wanted Growers never talk about selling fruit. They talk about getting rid of it. These days the old man's life is consumed with getting rid of the little apple. Having closely guarded it for close to 40 years, he's now grappling with how to find a buyer, an heir to carry on what he started. It's autumn and the little apples are blushing on the trees, carpeting the ground. The orchardist boots one off the path, curses the birds.

Photo: The property has several dams, one spring-fed, which have provided irrigation for the fruit trees over the years. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) His face is a contour map of wrinkles that seems to collapse upon itself when he's tired or worried, which he has been a lot lately. For he is a man contemplating his own demise. "It's a journey and the journey's coming to an end. I'm 75. I'm bloody lucky to get this far I'll tell you now." In a globalised world, he doesn't use computers. Eschews technology. He's approaching potential buyers one by one. He has a list. He knows growers. But growing is not the same proposition it once was. "Growing has changed to the point where you had to get big. You could no longer survive single handed, working an orchard. "The margin per kilo is so small you've got to have a lot of kilos in order to make a living out of it, to cover your costs. And the only way you can do that is to plant an awful amount. More than what one man can handle. "You've had to get to the point where you employ permanent labour or have large capital resources behind you. For cool rooms, forklift trucks. Everything was done by hand in the old days, into little wooden boxes you used to carry in and out of cool rooms. These days it's bulk handling, controlled atmosphere rooms they suck the oxygen out of. Enormous changes."

Photo: An apple fit for haute cuisine. In the packing shed the orchardist cuts open some of his crop to assess ripeness. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) He imagines the perfect buyer to be a fresher version of himself. "If I could meet somebody 40 years younger than I am, full of enthusiasm to take it up, I'd almost give 'em a kiss." He thought someone with a roadside stall in a tourist area might be interested. They could sell direct to the public while supplying high-end restaurants. But he approached one and couldn't get the time of day. "I think the old days when people were more inclined to have a go are less around than they used to be." Once upon a time governments were involved in breeding programs. Now, as far as the old orchardist can see, it's all private partnerships. "I know of nobody in the research area in government that I could go to, and show them. I've written to people, I've sent little apples to people. I've got replies from them saying, 'It's a terrific idea, contact so and so' which I've already done, with no result." A legacy, without anyone to bequeath it to. "I'm still looking for a buyer. Because I don't know anybody to give it to, that's worthy of giving it to. And the trouble is, if I give it away, people won't value it and it's just as likely to get chopped down and lost. "I had hoped to sell it and make some money. At my stage now, that's not so important. My more important thing is that all those labours are not lost." Journey's end Whatever happens, by year's end he'll be ploughing the trees in or cutting them down, pushing them into a heap and setting the whole lot ablaze. He's decided he can't maintain the orchard beyond this season. The yearly netting brings on bouts of wheezing and the need to lean against a fence post. He requires help to do the spraying and the friendly nearby farmer, who's been doing it along with his own, is getting out of apples. It's crystallised a deadline in the old orchardist's mind. If he sells the little apple, then too the trees on his property will be burnt, to guarantee the new owner exclusivity. One way or another it all ends in burning. His life's work, up in smoke. "Don't feel sad about it because I'm not, okay? "That won't hurt, nup. Won't worry me at all. Because that's a closure, that's the end. Yep and then there's other things. There's the kids, the dog. Yeah, plenty of other things. In some ways it'll be a relief." I can't tell if he really means it. He's told me his life shouldn't serve as an inspiration to anyone, to other innovators. The way he tells it, throwing in his career as a surveyor to venture into fruit growing in the first place was not his smartest hour. But he's also said he'd make the same choices again in the same circumstances. That it's been a way of life, far better spent outdoors than behind a desk, shuffling a stack of papers.

Photo: In the overalls he wears like a uniform, the orchardist inspects his beloved little apple trees. To innovate is easy, he reckons. To have enough capital behind you to turn a unique product into a commercial success is another thing entirely. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) Don't give up your day job cannot be the epitaph to this story. He invented an apple, dammit. Like God himself. When I ask what crosses the old man's mind when it's just him and the apple trees, what the land means to him, he emits a rasp of a laugh. "Ah, well, of course it's been everything for 40-odd years. You can't walk out the door without saying, 'Oh, I remember that.' "I guess you do get attached to land, although nothing's permanent. The land is, probably. You'd hate to leave it. "The little apple is not successful insofar as nobody's doing it and we've had trouble trying to sell it. That no longer troubles me at all. I'm quite happy now, just the fact that I've done it, that's enough. "I don't measure things in financial success as you might gather, by the age of the cars and the age of the tractors and everything else." Demise of the small family farm When the old orchardist drives up and down the dips and around the whorls in his road he sees the landscape that's there, but also the one that used to be. "When we started here in 1978 I think there were probably the best part of 20 small growers in the area." Apples, mostly. Cherries. Lemons. The bloke next door cultivated roses. The berry grower across the road would be 90-something now, if he was still alive. None of the children became involved in the farms, though, and the places were sold. Given over to paddocks with long grass and horses. Lifestyle properties. "You know we tend to sling off at them but you shouldn't really because they're what's holding the whole place together. They cost an awful lot of money nowadays, so much money that you simply could not afford to buy the land to farm, to plant an orchard, if you wanted to. Just too expensive to buy. And so there's a lot of people who just enjoy the bush and the scenery." A way of life, faded into history. "Luckily I'm not doing it for a living anymore because what I'd miss is the bloke over the road to go ask him, 'How do I fix this problem?' Or the bloke down there who knows more than I do. Those days are gone where you are meeting fellow growers. "Those people just gave you information, never held anything back. They'd give you plants, advice, everything. It was terrific, you know. No jealousy or 'here comes a competitor', nup. "I've got one left up on the corner who I can talk to, and we can commiserate together about the weather." As children, the orchardist's three sons would help with the picking, a play in the rowboat on the dam the reward for making it to the end of the row. Now they have other lives, in other places. "Not interested, full stop. None of them are growers in any shape or form. One of them might keep a little veggie garden but none of them are interested one iota. I'm glad because it's too hard." It's shades of his own father, a bricklayer who would not teach his son to lay bricks. "Dad used to come home of a night-time, sit in a chair and fall asleep, absolutely buggered. He was determined that I wasn't going to fall into the manual, hard physical labour like he did."

Photo: A hard-working life held in his shoulders, the orchardist pauses at the kitchen bench while boiling water for coffee, which he drinks black. (ABC News: Jane Cowan) Postscript It's winter before the orchardist gets in touch with the news. He's sold the little apple! Though keeping the details characteristically quiet. Finally, our story ends, he writes. With the sale of the business and the removal of the trees with the land back to pasture, we may now have the peace we seek. Crosswords for him. For his wife, watercolours. There will be life after apples. For on the seventh day, He rested. Topics:fruit,agricultural-crops,rural,fruits,lifestyle-and-leisure,gardening,science-and-technology,horticulture,edible-plants,fruit-crops,fruit-trees,agribusiness,community-and-society,inventions,melbourne-3000,vic First posted September 14, 2018 14:25:26 http://www.abc.net.au/news/2018-09-14/orchardist-invents-little-apples/9369960

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allbestnet · 7 years

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1,013 Ideas

1) anxiety coach 2) A way for software developers to donate their time to charity 3) A place for rich people to send their kids so they get humbled before they go to college 4) an actual business that you pay to go into and beat the crap out of stuff like old cars 5) Twitter, except it's anonymous, and you can share all you secrets 6) A website that you subscribe to and it sends you a personalized motivational text every morning 7) You know those photo frames that are digital? Instead of photos they can display motivational photos or quotes. 8) A website like linkedin, except a company pays you to work for them for two weeks with the option of extending to full-time. 9) An alarm clock that calls your ex if you don't get up. Or picks a random photo in your phone and sends it to your parents. 10) An aquarium desktop background. But seriously nowadays we can do better. We can improve it to make it awesome again! 11) Coffee shop where they bring the coffee and pastries to your table. No tips required 12) A heavy coat with a hawaiian shirt pattern 13) A website where you input what kind of bread you want, like banana pumpkin bread, and they custom make it and ship it to you. Then there's a voting system where the most popular breads get voted to the top and are mass produced. 14) caricatures on demand 15) In-n-out sauce mass produced and sold in grocery stores 16) A coffee shop that's just a window 17) Personal coaching should be more like... utilized 18) Soda that gets you drunk 19) A coffee shop... ON A ROOF! 20) Robot horses for Central Park. 21) An alarm clock that's actually a light that simulates the sunrise. I know they already invented that. 22) A cuff that goes on your arm and vibrates when it's time to wake up. Would be good for people who sleep with ear plugs or don't want to wake other people up. 23) Windows that let air in when they're closed. I have no idea if that could actually work. 24) Handicap parking spots have little chips in them that connect to a chip under a handicap car... if it doesn't detect a chip in the car it gives you a ticket. 25) Plants you can buy and you water them with a special water that makes them turn colors like blue. 26) Chia pet wigs. 27) All cops should have body cams by now 28) Stolen from reddit: water cups that dissolve when in contact with sugar/soda. 29) A website that takes random words from the dictionary then arranges them to make crazy ideas with the click of a button. 30) A sock washer. I always feel like the bottoms of my socks get dirty. I wish I could find a way to make them white again. 31) A cross between James Altucher's iii:am and Lynda (online programming tutorials). 32) Bookstore like workshop cafe. You go in, can read any books you want and pay by the hour. Plus comfy chairs and soothing quiet music in the background. 33) A board game designed specifically for when your power goes out. 34) Wallets made out of the fabric of old couches. Do they need to be waterproof? 35) A combination between a coffee shop and a bookstore. Also steal from that workshop cafe idea I posted earlier. 36) An amusement park that only serves super healthy food. 37) A flag that stays up even when it's not windy. 38) Blinds that are vertical so dust doesn't collect on them. 39) A VC bank for average people that have good ideas. 40) An airplane company that has live entertainment on the plane. Like Macbeth. 41) Uber for commuting. 42) A robot that walks your dogs. Or even an on demand service that walks your dogs for you. Uber for dogs. Am I doing Uber overkill here? 43) Startup houses that are run by professionals and kept clean and cheap 44) A way of sharing HBO with people that is legal 45) A really cheap service that you can use to send flowers to people. Not like a bouquet, just a single flower. Just to let them know you're thinking of them. 46) Handheld laptop bags. Because when you wear a backpack or a strapped case it makes you sweaty in hot weather. 47) Sleeping mask but for your ears. OKAY, I KNOW EARPLUGS EXIST. But there's gotta be a better way and more comfortable way of keeping the outside quiet when you're trying to sleep. 48) Glasses that act as a flashlight but don't have any glare. So you can read your book in the dark but it doesn't hurt your eyes or irritate/ wake up other people. 49) What ever happened to those ion cleaner weird air fan things? Are the ions still killing me? Do I need to buy one? 50) Crowdfunding for homeless people 51) Uber except they send people to take care of you when you're sick. Okay, that's enough Uber. 52) Headphones that don't actually play music, they just act like ear plugs that you can wear when you're sleeping. 53) A restaurant where you can taste like a little bit of every entree instead of looking at a menu, then pick the one you want to have a full meal of. 54) A fake cover for a PC that makes it look like a mac 55) An app where people walking by your house can be notified about who you are if you feel like socializing and just kind of meet strangers on the fly. It sounds unsafe but some kinks could probably be worked out 56) A whiteboard/chalkboard with no residue. IS IT POSSIBLE? 57) Soles of your shoe that are resistant to sticky substances like gum 58) A way to give your phone charge to your computer and vice versa 59) A service that cleans your shoes. Seriously, how do you clean regular shoes. I don't understand. Do you just throw them in the washer? 60) Okay, okay, the last uber one. An uber app where you can call a car to come and pick up your food and unused supplies, clothing, etc to donate them to charity. 61) A notebook that you write into that immediately digitizes your notes and sends them to your computer. 62) Something that looks like a book but can change depending on what book you program into it. Like those newspapers in Harry Potter. 63) A bar right next to a baseball/football stadium where you can down a bunch of cheap drinks before you go to the game. 64) Nutritional trail mix. Like it has vitamins and minerals in it. And electrolytes. 65) VR headset that stimulates your dreams while you sleep. 66) You know the facebook poke button? A way to do that with your professional contacts if you just want to check in with them. Well, I mean you can already do that by giving them a call or a text but like, maybe something simpler than that. 67) A way to relieve the annoyance of automated robot phone systems. 68) Cough or cold medicine with caffeine in it. 69) Dorms for software developers in San Francisco. Would make living a lot cheaper. And without the meal plans of course. 70) Alternative college that you only go to for two years but is designed to get you a serious grown up job like engineer or doctor etc 71) A communal dishwasher that makes it easier to deal with. 72) Pets for mental health relief. I mean they already made that but like, that counts as an idea. 73) Bubbles you can eat. Like you blow the bubbles, then you can put them in your mouth and they taste good. No calories either. 74) Digital paintings. 75) A kind of residue/resin you can put on wood that's started to splinter. So it will smooth it out without making the wood look crappy. 76) You know how a lot of buildings in the city have shitty ceilings? Like, linoleum for ceilings. 77) Rubber couch 78) Fire alarm that attaches to your clothes. So you can have a fire alarm even in a place that doesn't have it installed. Or maybe for your car. 79) An app that connects to your facebook and lets you anonymously give people feedback. Like, just general feedback. 80) Gag popcorn that looks like it's made out of asbestos. 81) Not really a new idea, but someone should make earmuffs popular again. 82) Neon lights for your car. 83) Sunglasses where you click a button and it blacks them out, so you can take a nap. 84) Manila folders that aren't manila colored! 85) American flag socks. Well, actually american flag anything. 86) A chair that can fit in your backpack. 87) Decorative woven cotton wire covers 88) Leather socks 89) A way to efficiently access your computer through your phone. Like kind of like Teamviewer, except it would be optimized so there would be no issues using a touch screen instead of clicking. 90) Something as small as a credit card that you can stick in your wallet but it charges your phone. Like it just gives you maybe 20% but it's for emergencies and you would always carry it with you. 91) Company recruiting service that lets you spend a whole work day with an employee instead of interviewing etc. 92) Electronic whiteboard 93) Toe covers that protect your toes from getting blisters. 94) A service that you can use to pay people (any people) to answer questions. Like if I wanted to ask what it was like to work at Google, I could pay a Google employee through their website and they would answer any of my questions. 95) Hand sanitizer dispensers in subways 96) Something that you spray on your feet at the end of the day that makes them not smell. 97) A coffee shop that charges a monthly fee and you can stop by whenever to grab coffee. Most likely it would be on an honor system where you would only go a max of two times per day. God knows how many times some people would go to get unlimited coffee. 98) A service like thinkful or hack hands where engineers give advice to amateur engineers. Except this service would be like hack hands except for foreign language students to ask questions of native speakers or language teachers. 99) Eraseable sharpie 100) An app that grabs every contact from every social network and compiles them into like a universal contact book. Because right now in the apple contact app you have to like manually put everything in. Even if you integrate facebook sometimes it can make it all messed up and ugly. 101) Cup holders made of sandpaper 102) Skin colored tiny band aids that you put on your face to stop yourself from picking zits 103) Cologne that doubles as a bug repellant 104) Eye contacts that have instagram filters 105) Shirts that change color depending on the temperature 106) Shirts that change color when they get wet. Maybe not great if you're sweating. Or maybe awesome? 107) Holographic home decorations so you don't have to buy a ton of shit from Crate & Barrel or Pier Imports or whatever 108) Headphones that are inside a beanie 109) Gloves that make your hands stick to a wall and you can climb them like a spider. Defective ones would probably make people die though... 110) Vertical ironing board 111) Coffee pills that you put in regular water and it magically turns to coffee that doesn't taste like dirt 112) Upside down showers 113) Shoes that you put on and they automagically massage your feet. 114) A site where you put in your desired salary and your employer puts in their desired salary for you and the site does the negotiating for you! 115) Apple should make computers with different fruits on them. 116) A backpack that goes on your front. A frontpack. I guess they already do that though for tourists in countries where people like to steal stuff out of your backpack. 117) Bring fanny packs back! 118) Flexible water bottles. Like made out of... rubber or something. So they don't make a lot of noise 119) Pumpkins that you can carve but they don't rot. GMO?? 120) Soundproof bathrooms 121) A visual representation of a github repo over time 122) Mosquito repellant cologne. Wait, did I already do that? Oops. Still counts this time. 123) Mosquito repellant breath mints 124) Detergent gel 125) Chairs that recline so you can lay down 126) A device that lets you lie down in supine position and still type on your computer or read a book or whatever 127) An iphone case that holds gum 128) Liquid nitrogen for mosquito bites to make them not itch. Not sure if that's dangerous. Lots of dangerous ideas today. 129) Sharpie that you can spray 130) Refrigerator stickers for your car 131) Reusable tissues 132) Solar panels for the moon 133) Underwater solar panels in the ocean 134) CSI video game 135) IRC app for iphone/android 136) modern version of usenet 137) chapstick for your elbows 138) automatic head scratcher machine 139) a better way of washing clothes than washing machine and dryer. like a steamer or something 140) sunglasses with shutter lenses 141) anti acid reflux soda 142) garbage collecting drones 143) garbage collecting rc cars 144) rc cars that adults can ride on. remember those hummers they made for kids? 145) A clock with like six hands that has three different time zones 146) bean bags literally filled with beans 147) one of those sleeping cds filled with passing car sounds at night 148) A way to transfer charge between your phone and your laptop 149) A book that has two books, like on every left page is one book and every right page is the other 150) soylent that doesnt taste like crushed oatmeal shake 151) keyboards that are shaped to fit in your lap 152) headphones that are made of rubber 153) a personal blog directory that you can easily browse through 154) blockbuster for books. IT IS DIFFERENT FROM A LIBRARY in that they carry the most recent and popular titles, and that is why you pay to rent them out. or unlimited for a monthly fee like netflix 155) a less acidic version of coffee. like odulles for coffee. 156) an app that you give your location, then it matches you with the nearest, cheapest, highest quality doctor for your specific case. it takes the hassle out of scheduling doctor appointments, especially in new cities etc 157) khan academy for art 158) computer monitors that look like the kindle screens 159) electronic whiteboards 160) cigs/cigars that make colorful smoke. Probably could also work for e-cigs 161) an automatic machine that thinks of ideas for you 162) cruise ships for people that are almost dead 163) i hate zits 164) Furniture rental 165) electric mop 166) biking shoes that light up 167) powdered sugar lollipops 168) sweatshirt for your legs 169) shoes that float 170) subways should have hand sanitizer dispensers 171) blogging website where you dictate your blog post and it will convert it to text for you 172) caffeine injections 173) mouses for tablets - I think the correct word is mice, the electronic ones 174) wood shoes 175) back pocket on your sweatshirt that holds a laptop like a kangaroo pouch 176) aluminum shirts 177) a sound monitor for your house that lets you know if someone broke in 178) concerts on twitch.tv 179) flip flops with covers just so you don't get the wind chill on your toes. like slippers but they can be taken seriously 180) pets for your pets 181) some pill that reduces the effect of caffeine 182) slippers that vibrate and heat up 183) socks that change color depending on the temperature 184) airbnb except the host also gives you a tour around their city. would prob cost a lot more 185) sheets that stick to your clothes so they never come off at night 186) pillows that clean themselves 187) doors not made of wood 188) sweatshirts that have optional gloves. like theyre attached but theres a way of hiding them if you don't want to wear them 189) keyboards made of wood 190) wireless earbuds for when you run 191) Backpack that has an umbrella attached to the top so it protects you from the sun and rain 192) gum that is made to be swallowed 193) Clothes dyeing service or better yet, a free service by fashion students to spice up your old clothes 194) ipads with screens that you can write on with expo markers 195) transparent shoes 196) hollow lightbulbs 197) gum that doesn't stick to stuff so students can't stick it under their desk or on the bus 198) books sold with a pair of ear plugs 199) shoes that double as vacuum cleaners. or swiffers 200) jeans with built in suspenders that go under your shirt 201) robot cats 202) a real pumpkin filled with the ingredients you need to make pumpkin pie 203) fruity coffee 204) chocolate covered coffee beans 205) coffee covered chocolate beans 206) glove dispensers on the muni 207) inside out bagels 208) knife except the end is blunt so you can't stab anyone with it 209) uber for laundry 210) coffee based on alcoholic drinks 211) vacuum sealed fruits 212) rubber wrist watch 213) keyboards made of the lava lamp stuff 214) tie dye shoes 215) tie dye hats 216) subway sandwiches that look like a subway car 217) books that stay open 218) built in stand in laptop 219) rolling beanbag 220) edible fake money 221) flavored musical instruments 222) a clothing store where you pay a monthly fee and you can wear whatever they have 223) mesh socks 224) mesh beanie. wait, isn't that a hairnet? 225) roll on cologne 226) a running shoe/dress shoe hybrid 227) shoes coated in teflon 228) luggage that has that hole thing in it that you attach your vacuum to and it vacuum seals it 229) earbuds covered in velvet 230) water guns that shoot glow in the dark water 231) pumpkin pie that is shaped like a pumpkin 232) beard shampoo 233) sweatpants that hide your sweat like dri fit 234) running shoes for adults that light up. would be esp good for night running 235) exercise classes specifically for programmers 236) a refrigerator backpack 237) a bandaid designed specifically for paper cuts to make them hurt less 238) a website where you make a post about yourself and other people decide what the best career for you is 239) a website where you can web chat with a lawyer for a flat rate 240) colorful cola 241) sweatshirts with hoodies that have headphones in them. but you can remove them when you need to wash them 242) spandex sweatshirts 243) inflatable shoes 244) backpacks that have built in phone chargers 245) cough syrup except it's not for a cough its for a headache. so headache syrup 246) an online record player 247) virtual reality basketball 248) chairs that you can sit sideways in 249) robot that automatically cuts your hair 250) something safer than q tips for cleaning ears 251) insider guides for tourists to feel like a native 252) mental hospitals designed specifically for homeless people 253) carpet for ceilings and walls 254) 10c surcharge for disposable cups at starbucks 255) an app that shows where the homeless people are in san francisco 256) an app that shows in real time where the densest traffic is in the city 257) speakers in shoes 258) jeans that are khaki colored 259) gum that biodegrades quickly 260) glass coffee cups 261) an app that translates a TOS (terms of service) into plain english 262) A vodka or champagne bottle that looks like a fire extinguisher 263) headphones inside a bicycle or motorcycle helmet 264) biodegradable diapers 265) shoes with gold bottoms 266) polyester socks 267) automatic hair braider machine 268) automatic condom making machine 269) digital whistle 270) rubber headphone covers so they don't fall out of your ears 271) cronuts that don't taste like shit 272) fetty wap voice modulizer app 273) books made out of edible paper 274) water cups that have fake holes in them 275) jeans that have a bunch of jeans on them. like a decorative pattern so they're like jean jeans 276) jeans that say billy. billy jeans 277) coffee popsicles 278) walnut milk 279) coconut pizza 280) stickers that you put on your nails instead of nail polish 281) Portable microwave 282) Illegal immigrants are granted citizenship after working and paying taxes for a period of time 283) Camera in your shoe 284) Digital paintings 285) Shirts that have paintings on them by freelance artists. Like a site sells them from different artists for a reasonable price. 286) Flying trash can drones 287) A service that comes to your house for like $5 and gets rid of all the things you don't want 288) Uber for cleaning ladies 289) Painting on a large flat rock that you can put on your wall 290) A watch made out of glass. Or something that looks similar to glass but doesn't break as easily. 291) an app called payback where you pay people to get your revenge. like, in a civil way 292) James brown soundboard or voicemail message generator 293) tripod for your phone 294) remote karate lessons via webcam 295) a millisecond timer 296) a reverse doorknob 297) you know those things that you crack and they warm up? use that stuff to warm your food 298) hair gel for places other than your head 299) an app that delivers a party to you! 300) online flannel shirt generator 301) rimshot app or a website where you click a button to make a rimshot 302) an app where you say a catchphrase and it tells you where its from 303) instead of those mug huggers that keep you from burning your hand on your coffee use a recycled sock 304) an app that plays ocean sounds until it detects you've gone to sleep then it turns off your phone 305) hot iced tea 306) snapple made out of apples 307) hollowed out fruits as drink cups 308) edible plates 309) edible napkins 310) vegetable cookies 311) send a letter to someone famous and ask their advice 312) pizza with the toppings under the cheese 313) pizza with toppings in the crust 314) post-its that are sticky on both sides 315) airbnb for office space 316) sweatshirts that zip up on the back 317) shoes that you zip instead of tie 318) bubble gum flavored mints 319) aa batteries that you can plug in 320) flip flops made of recycled shoes 321) carbonated water infused with fruit juice 322) edible post it notes 323) service that intentionally paints your car like a taxi 324) cardboard clothes for homeless people (cardboard couture?) 325) candles that smell like good food 326) food that smells like candles 327) coffee slurpee 328) shoes made out of recycled corn husks 329) popcorn except it's made out of something else that pops... 330) a device that attaches to your waist and holds a book in front of your face so you don't have to strain your neck 331) tea pods that you drop in hot water instead of tea bags. they dissolve so you don't have to try to fish out the tea bag and throw it away 332) carbonated spirits 333) elastic belts 334) GMO potatoes that taste like a seasoned baked potato 335) popsicles that look like politicians 336) an apartment complex specifically designed for community living. like campus, except not a failed startup. improve on whatever made them fail - it looks like aiming for the high end market was an issue 337) champagne flavored orange juice. except it's non alcoholic like odulles and super cheap. so you can start every morning feeling like the 1% 338) orange flavored latte 339) pumpkin flavored ice cream 340) banana soda 341) bahn mi grilled cheese 342) Water bottles made of rubber 343) College designed for one specific job 344) job sponsored toastmasters 345) Refugee island 346) Shrink wrap for food 347) Busses for rich people 348) Scented tissues 349) Battery powered skateboards 350) Paper shoes 351) water balloons filled with cleaning liquid so cleaning your house is more fun 352) Fantasy football except it generates fake footage of all your players together 353) trash cans that have a pipe at the bottom automatically sending everything to a reservoir 354) coffee delivery service 355) ice cream delivery service 356) ice cream with coffee bean chunks in it 357) ice cubes made of coffee 358) An internship that takes place in a new country every month 359) A calculator that understands plain english (voice) 360) coffee flavored bubble gum 361) legal pads that have a different color for every page 362) carbonated ice cubes 363) carbonated ice cream 364) sprite float 365) mesh sunglasses cover 366) coffee straws 367) aluminum sunglass frames 368) washing machine that depills clothes 369) jean short shorts 370) jean hat 371) shortbread shaped like shorts 372) a cafe designed for business meetings and catching up with friends, so like it's soundproofed maybe? 373) a service that connects dogs that need to be walked with obese people who need to walk 374) rainbow taxis 375) rainbow hair dye 376) incense deodorant/cologne 377) sweatpants that look like jeans 378) an apartment complex with a subsidized grocery store built into it 379) you know how they have food co-ops? how about a school/education co-op. 380) an island for homeless people 381) air freshener that fits in your pocket 382) uber designed to take you from public transport destination straight to your doorstop for pennies 383) chairs that you buy at the store and can easily decorate them yourself 384) a service where if you're having a bad day you can borrow a shelter dog 385) microwaveable raw pasta 386) pasta sauce with 24k gold flakes in it 387) heels that have invisible filling so it doesn't feel like you're walking in heels 388) startup pitch generator website 389) a service where you pay someone to go to a conference then pretends to be you and networks with people 390) coffee with vitamins 391) news articles on water bottles 392) digital posters 393) a frame on your wall that uploads the front page of new york times every morning 394) orange socks 395) socks that smell like oranges 396) mugs with built in straws 397) an alarm that rings a few times a day reminding you what your priorities are 398) frappucino without sugar and maybe add protein 399) protein water 400) edible newspaper 401) brown paper bags that aren't brown 402) spaghetti made of bread 403) baked ice cream 404) public cubbies in the city 405) bike stealer vigilante service 406) ceiling fans that spin vertically 407) gyms that pay you to go 408) windows that clean themselves 409) skateboards that run on gasoline 410) adopt a rapper program 411) a gym that gives you a monthly discount based on your bmi 412) aluminum foil pants 413) night vision goggles for truck drivers 414) an app that explains all the currently trending hashtags on twitter 415) flowers that grow in reverse 416) suits made out of nike dri-fit 417) shoes designed to be put in the washing machine without breaking their form 418) take out boxes made out of thick rice paper 419) milkshakes with artificial sweetener 420) in honor of 420 - marijuana milkshakes 421) coffee mugs that are made out of recycled coffee plants 422) a backscratching blanket that you can lay on 423) peanuts that taste like other nuts 424) alcoholic protein shakes 425) a curvy iphone called a jphone 426) odulles for vodka 427) peanut butter jelly quesadilla 428) GMO apples with caramel flavor in it 429) the talking trout thing that you can attach to the front of your car 430) Indian sushi 431) a service where you talk to someone on the phone about your job goals and life and they make a resume for you in less than 30 minutes. 432) a restaurant where they give you the recipe for whatever you order when you're done eating 433) chair that sits on a roomba so it can drive you around 434) free weight loss program where they send you to the desert and you have to find your way back 435) every guy spends a significant amount of their life shaving. we need shave consultants to make shaving as pleasant of an experience as possible 436) shoes that have tv screens on them 437) sugar-ed pretzels 438) head wax for balding people 439) beard donation for the less fortunate 440) concrete rings 441) carbonated milk 442) root beer ice cream 443) talking trash cans that compliment you when you put something in it 444) neck warmers for giraffes 445) whiteboards that are black 446) books made of kelp 447) a phone and wallet hybrid 448) gum flavored food 449) food flavored gum 450) elevators that have quick exercise machines in them 451) peanuts with extra protein 452) chocolate covered peanuts 453) peanut reeses 454) beard softener cream 455) coconut covered almonds 456) running shoes that are covered in reflective material 457) socks that are covered in reflective material 458) chewing gum that has vitamins or caffeine in it 459) hats with reflective tape on them 460) whiteboard markers that smell like fruit 461) crowdsourced maps that says where people go the most often or fav places 462) carbonated coffee 463) bars that have a section for underage people where they have odulles 464) a starbucks inside a starbucks 465) iphones that run android 466) cars that have glow in the dark wheels 467) concrete shoes 468) spotify for movies 469) uber for haircuts 470) diet chocolate 471) savory soda 472) shower that heats up the rest of the room so when you get out you're still warm 473) warm floor tiles 474) vegan fried chicken 475) nair branded for mens faces 476) shoes that are made to last a lifetime 477) ipads for mute people to help them talk 478) t shirts with turtle necks 479) chewing gum that has an appetite suppressant 480) home milkshake maker 481) sock dryer for when it rains and you get wet socks 482) hydrophobic socks 483) spicy pancakes, maybe pumpkin 484) reeses lollipops 485) chewy gummy lollipops 486) virtual job interview service 487) a fancy pants restaurant that only serves breakfast 488) a service where you switch jobs with someone in the same industry across the world for 3 months 489) waterproof running shoes 490) disposable umbrellas 491) tinder for food 492) app to post ideas that drunk people have 493) an app that connects drunk or high people with enterpreneurs to give them ideas 494) live stream karaoke 495) free boats for homeless people 496) yelp for barbers 497) live streaming for drunk people 498) tinder for biceps 499) uber for coffee 500) bring back the dinosaurs 501) messaging for github 502) popsicle delivery on a hot day. like it's a government funded charity to make the city happy 503) github AI detector to automatically solve merge issues 504) a chrome extension that adds a chatroom to every page on the internet 505) a website that you put a bunch of ideas into and it tells you objectively the best idea 506) a website where drunk people can entertain people for money 507) a phone cover that changes color depending on heat 508) a mood ring that tightens whenever you get angry 509) an anonymous essay writing platform 510) twitter for poetry 511) locks for your bagel bags to stop bagel thieves 512) anonymous polling service for college lectures 513) a cover for your phone that displays the date and time on the back 514) uber for homeless people 515) airbnb for pets 516) blogging platform for kids 517) cookies with fruit in them 518) fruitcake for the whole year round 519) brownie lollipops like cake pops 520) interactive vim tutorial in browser 521) free programming classes at libraries 522) vegetable flavored candy 523) grape on a stick 524) liquid graphite pens 525) cameras in your home that determine your pet's mood when you leave 526) a city where cars drive above ground but all the sidewalks are below ground 527) a blog platform specifically made for people trying to lose weight 528) an IDE that has real time chat with team members or people who are working on similar projects 529) a reality show that puts a bunch of drug using rock stars in a convent 530) instagram for programmers 531) aws tutorial for total beginners 532) justin bieber website that shows the progression of his music over time 533) blogs that you can only view if you're near the location they were posted 534) charity that gives domain names to promising web developers in 3rd world countries 535) service that hooks up a college freshman with a senior for a whole year and helps them get adjusted 536) beer that has protein 537) beer that gets you drunk but only on friday and saturday nights 538) tinder for homeless people 539) concert livestreams 540) tour bus livestreams for musicians (possibly on twitch.tv) 541) community lounge sponsored by cities (i.e. taxpayer money) 542) a school where you study in a different country for every semester 543) social workers that live in the projects 544) art gallery for kids under 5 years old 545) an app where you let other people listen to whatever you are listening to within a 1 mi radius 546) a dating website that matches you based on things you hate 547) a robot car that picks you up from an airport in a foreign city and generates a list of touristy things to do then takes you to each one 548) High heels with rubber heels 549) pool with a glass bottom on the second floor of a house 550) electronic pool table where everything is virtual 551) neck pad to prevent neck pain while using the computer 552) neck warmer that is literally a cat 553) justin bieber action figure 554) bill cosby pudding pops (not sure if they will sell very good now) 555) messaging platform for github 556) hacker news chatroom 557) a website that calculates how long until you die / how long you've been alive 558) league of legends in real life 559) headphones that are 100% biodegradable 560) gum that tastes like italian food 561) earplugs that are sticky so they stay in your ear 562) website that integrates with facebook and makes a graph visualization with your social network 563) watch that vibrates depending on your mood 564) food that freshens your breath after you're finished eating it 565) watch that tells you it's time to get a watch 566) rainbow deodorant 567) deodorant that smells like food 568) edible highlighter 569) TAs for your life 570) shoes that are gum resistant 571) glasses that track your eye movements all day 572) wireless computer charger 573) jacket made out of a blanket 574) computer chair that supports your neck 575) tylenol that has ambien in it 576) fig newton without figs 577) animated curtains 578) air conditioner that puts fresh smells in the air 579) headphones with a cup holder 580) professional quote maker manual 581) gum that doesn't stick to surfaces like under desk, sidewalks, etc. 582) holographic newspaper ads 583) bring back the pet rock 584) healthy jamba juice. Like Suja but made fresh and cheaper. 585) fruit flavored cola 586) savory soda 587) nylon jackets that don't make crinkly noises 588) computer that tracks your face and automatically tilts the screen to reduce neck strain 589) wallet made out of carpet 590) waterproof carpet 591) watch that can switch between analog and digital 592) jeans made out of cashmere 593) lotion for your hair 594) sponges that are infused with soap 595) jackets that keep you cold instead of hot 596) hot ice cubes. like not made of ice but it keeps your drink hot 597) book that tells a different story if you start reading from the back 598) alarm clock that yells at you instead of ringing 599) blog website for pets 600) lollipops that contain vitamins - for kids 601) apple watch that detects your mood when running and plays music accordingly 602) athletic shoes that automatically cool off your feet 603) waterproof socks 604) reflective socks 605) antibacterial tissues 606) salsa for foods that are not mexican 607) water bottle that is compostable 608) rent a shelter dog service 609) sunglasses that absorb sunlight and converts it to energy 610) sunglasses that change color depending on the intensity of light 611) eraser that whitens after it erases 612) community office space paid for by the city 613) free coffee for monthly muni/bart pass holders 614) flash drive that also can project images 615) electronic water bottle that cools down its contents 616) iphone case that turns red when your phone is overheating 617) magazine about magazines 618) headphones combined with earmuffs 619) beanie that keeps your head cool but blocks noise, mainly for use while you sleep maybe you can pull it over your eyes too to block out light 620) hair salon that gives you a surprise haircut every time 621) tie dye water glasses 622) water bottles with text that changes color indicating temperature 623) pencil eraser that makes your paper smell good 624) thot radar 625) headphones that amplify noise outside them 626) office chairs with seat warmers 627) office chairs with seat coolers 628) windbreaker that doesn't make crinkly noises 629) shower phone 630) a combination between wine and beer 631) spaghetti sauce with vitamins 632) digital magic 8 ball 633) electric bicycle 634) book where each chapter is a shortened version of a classic book 635) app to find the nearest public toilet 636) app to find where really nice cars are driving around 637) tv channel that just has audiobooks on 24/7 638) flavored rain 639) pumpkin spice almonds 640) blogging platform for charities 641) portable vinyl player 642) jacket made of hair 643) bus that has a bar in it 644) kindle that has the texture of a book cover 645) stickers that light up 646) beanie with a built in heater 647) breadsticks with marinara sauce inside them 648) inside out pizza 649) jean socks 650) exit signs that have built in fire & carbon monoxide detectors 651) a boat inside a boat 652) office chairs that massage your back while you work 653) sharpies that aren't permanent 654) public trash cans that automatically compact themselves 655) licorice flavored lollipop 656) savory churro 657) a guide to saving money written by a gangster 658) permanent expo markers 659) hand sanitizer that doesn't smell like alcohol 660) fetty wap voice modulator app 661) a restaurant that only sells mac and cheese 662) backpacks for pets 663) peanut butter and jelly breadsticks 664) bread that's fortified with protein 665) waterproof jeans 666) transparent jackets 667) movie theater where everyone has to share a free giant bucket of popcorn 668) digital stop signs 669) baguette with fruit baked in 670) painting where the center is blank but the art is on the frame 671) soylent for pets 672) stickers you can put on your zits 673) socks that light up like a christmas tree 674) weight scale that shows you a motivational message every time you step on it 675) get paid to translate foreign text and learn a language at the same time 676) protein bars that are made of fruit (like a lara bar) 677) TVs with personality 678) jacket with gloves that you can wear or hide in the sleeves 679) vine for musicians 680) alarm clock that punches you in the face when it's time to get up 681) burrito filled with chinese food (e.g. orange chicken) 682) protein bar that tastes like mint chocolate chip ice cream 683) pita chips that are sour cream & onion flavored 684) savory soda 685) dessert nachos 686) waterproof baseball cap 687) shoes that tie themselves 688) post-it notes that smell good 689) colorful plastic water bottles 690) a laundry machine that you can play video games on while you're waiting 691) tissues that change color when they're used 692) headphones that massage your ears 693) turtlenecks for exercise 694) jean underwear 695) lightbulbs that change color when they need to be replaced 696) napkins that you can put in the dishwasher 697) gloves that cover your fingers but not your palms 698) vegetables that taste like fruit 699) fruit lasagna/dessert lasagna 700) all rubber wristwatch 701) protein water 702) glow in the dark whiteboards 703) febreeze bidet 704) drones that fly lunch to your office 705) backpacks that go on your front (frontpacks) 706) jackets that button up on the back 707) self buttoning/zipping jacket 708) robot pets 709) bao burger 710) dog therapist 711) pre-seasoned rice 712) rice with protein 713) dinner cereal 714) shoes for your hands 715) glow in the dark jackets 716) sunglasses for sports 717) ceiling fan that periodically sprays air freshener 718) battery powered skateboards 719) toothpaste that you can swallow 720) mouthwash that comes in ketchup packs (portable) 721) diet ice cream 722) pie made out of whipped cream 723) polyester dress shirts 724) waterproof beanie 725) socks for your ears 726) vanilla brownies (whities/honkies) 727) square water bottles 728) tinder for racists 729) doorknobs that sanitize themselves 730) headphones that double as ear muffs 731) water bottles made of glass 732) headphones made of glass 733) sunscreen bar like a soap bar 734) double sided monitor 735) chest hair comb 736) coffee cup that you drink upside down 737) keyboard that emits smells 738) gym for only fat people 739) fast food restaurant that discounts if you're fat 740) bike that charges your phone when you ride it 741) backpack that you wear on your head 742) beanie that you throw in the freezer and it cools your head 743) soundproof tent that you can take anywhere when you need some quiet 744) a book on how to write a book 745) shoes for dogs 746) glow in the dark pillows 747) pool table with hologram pool balls 748) beard wax 749) pain reliever soda 750) stress ball that talks back to you 751) subway for burritos 752) portable coffee mug that holds milk and sugar in the top 753) shoes that tie in the back 754) highlighters that are multiple colors 755) shirt with one long sleeve and one short sleeve 756) sushi with french fries in it 757) pickled fruit 758) nylon running gloves 759) edible christmas ornaments 760) headphones that turn into earbuds 761) vodka bottles shaped like water bottles 762) backpack that has no pockets 763) hat that has pockets 764) floss that doesn't cut off circulation to your fingers 765) salted fruit 766) vegetables dipped in chocolate 767) glow in the dark phone case 768) water fountains at gyms that are filled with gatorade 769) toothbrush with accelerometer that tracks your brushing habits over time 770) coffee cup that changes color depending on the temperature of the coffee 771) coffee flavored tablets that melt in your mouth for when you're in a rush 772) t-shirt made out of newspaper (print, not actual paper) 773) two sided fork 774) cell phone and wallet combination 775) app that takes 1 cent off your transactions and donates it to charity 776) jeans that zip from behind 777) zip up running shoes 778) google maps that gives you directions based on the least amount of trash and other unsightly things 779) cordless earbuds 780) lollipop that freshens your breath 781) coffee for nighttime 782) chipotle for greek food 783) edible air freshener 784) sunglasses with side mirrors 785) steel toe running shoes 786) uber for garbage men 787) a book about books 788) sharpie that smells fruity 789) burrito with mac and cheese inside 790) colored contact lenses 791) dating app where you can only go out with a person if you've gone out with one of their friends 792) pineapple that smells like pine and tastes like apple 793) phone case that's edible 794) tortilla chips that taste like burrito 795) ear coolers 796) spray bottle that has breath freshener in it 797) headphones that vibrate 798) tylenol soda 799) breakfast sushi 800) rectangular water bottle 801) trash can that compliments you when you put trash in it 802) security cameras with smiley faces on them 803) air conditioner that warms up when you say turn up the heat and vice versa 804) microwave that warms up the room (and doesn't kill everyone) 805) rain jacket that gets warmer the wetter it gets 806) an autobiography generator - then again, I guess it would be a biography 807) socks that vibrate 808) deodorant for your under-areas 809) a car horn that plays a loud annoying guitar riff 810) a barber that gives you a book of haircuts to choose instead of just saying a little off the top etc 811) a music player that changes music depending on your pulse strength, rate, etc 812) a pill that quenches your thirst 813) hair gel that doubles as cologne 814) transparent cologne stickers that you can just stick on your skin 815) grilled carrots 816) burrito with african food 817) breakfast sushi 818) lightbulb that emits smells 819) a watch that literally tells you what time it is 820) a tie that ties itself 821) cereal bowl that separates the cereal and the milk 822) two sided spoon 823) spoon with a hole in it so it filters out the milk when you're eating cereal 824) coffee cup that keeps your coffee at the perfect drinking temperature 825) rainy weather shoes that have extra traction 826) office chairs that have neck and back massagers 827) wooden doorhandle 828) mirror that only reflects certain colors 829) reflective running shoes 830) tissues that smell good 831) pita chips that have hummus inside them 832) mexican food flavored lollipops 833) advil bottle that compliments you before you take some 834) baseball hat that has a football team on it 835) tabasco for desserts 836) spicy desserts in general 837) balloon filled with air freshener 838) reflective reading glasses 839) sushi with french fries inside 840) clothing line where every piece just has the name of the piece of clothing printed on it in big white letters 841) walnut brittle 842) sandals that you can wear in the rain 843) electric drum set 844) soda that's not carbonated 845) carbonated juice 846) clear lipstick 847) t shirt that changes colors every time it's washed 848) movie theatre for couples where each couple gets a private booth 849) edible action figures 850) umbrella hat, or just a waterproof hat 851) app that checks your happiness level on a scale of 1-10 throughout the day 852) weight loss coaching from your dog 853) water bottle with motivational words on them 854) an app that lets normal people carpool with food delivery runners 855) lightbulbs that get dimmer when they're about to die 856) luggage that gets picked up at your doorstep and gets sent to your destination 857) pre-toasted bread 858) bagels without the hole 859) socks with holes in the toes 860) a sock for your head 861) hair gel that colors your hair 862) hair gel that's edible 863) edible beanie babies 864) crystal light for food 865) water glass that's shaped like a water droplet 866) soda that tastes like water 867) socks that have built in toe warmers 868) socks that are waterproof 869) hearing aids that play music 870) frisbees for cats 871) netflix for music 872) netflix for cars 873) backpack that has a tv on the front 874) umbrella that is inverted 875) car boat hybrid 876) planes for the ocean 877) hat that has a clock on the front 878) church for atheists 879) self-warming pillow 880) haircut delivery 881) someone that comes to your house every morning and makes you coffee 882) hair salons that make your hair longer instead of shorter 883) self-cooling pillow 884) a hat that massages your head 885) different colored sunflowers 886) sugary sunflower seeds 887) instant coffee that doesn't taste like dirt 888) instant eggnog 889) uber for parties - they bring the party to you 890) tinder for things to do on lazy sundays 891) a site that recommends a book for you based on your mood 892) a sassy calendar app 893) vegetable juice that doesn't taste like vegetable juice 894) french fries made of something other than potato 895) leather umbrella 896) online dating for pets 897) online dating for pet owners but you can only see their pet photos not pictures of themselves 898) online dating except it's not dating you just use it to find chill friends to hang out with 899) poker except the winner gets to choose who has to permanently relocate to canada 900) artisanal fast food 901) beer that comes in gallon jugs 902) laundry detergent that smells like hot chocolate 903) airplanes where you lay down instead of sit in a chair 904) backpack with no straps... it just sticks to you 905) a chatroom exclusively for people who are having a headache 906) major league baseball except all the players are drunk 907) baseball hat that covers your ears 908) police officers that carry pool noodles instead of guns 909) cereal condiments 910) v necks... but for every letter in the alphabet 911) business incubator for restaurants 912) instant tea (powder instead of bags) 913) t shirt with a hood 914) denim socks 915) boxes not made out of cardboard 916) dating site that matches you based on what time you take a shower everyday 917) bicycle helmet with a flashlight on it 918) sunflower seeds with edible shells 919) anime for grandparents 920) a hat that has wifi 921) treadmill that dispenses a donut every 5K you run 922) dessert pasta 923) hawaii for cold weather 924) licorice that tastes fruity 925) twitter for toddlers 926) sausage company that teaches you german on the packaging 927) a magazine that gives you sparknotes on all the other magazines 928) cereal for lunch and dinner 929) scented socks 930) Amazon.com except you can only purchase things from the amazon rainforest 931) instead of food being delivered to you, you are delivered to the food 932) dessert popcorn 933) dipping popcorn 934) collared exercise shirts 935) dress clothes for exercising 936) a robot that you can argue with when you're stressed out 937) party foul police 938) mini golf, regular golf, and... huge golf 939) a bar called work. So you can say you're just going to work. 940) freelance cheerleaders that you can just hire for a day to cheer you on 941) coffee flavored candy 942) coffee flavored soda 943) blockbuster for household appliances 944) office chair that compliments you 945) getting married on a airline flight 946) stylish aprons for everyday wear 947) shoes for your hands 948) kale milkshake 949) americanized french fries 950) two sided iphone 951) beer in a plastic bottle 952) pretzels with sugar instead of salt 953) carbonated coffee 954) uber for baby deliveries/midwives 955) iced tea in capri-sun packets 956) paintings by dogs 957) pillows that vibrate 958) no bake brownies 959) benches that are made specifically for sleeping on 960) concrete trees 961) wigs for dogs 962) cold cocoa 963) sneeze stopper 964) cough blocker 965) nyquil lollipops 966) paintball except with delicious edible paint 967) indoor camping 968) diet s'mores 969) vibrating headphones 970) real gnomes 971) edible coffee mugs 972) chocolate dipped graham crackers 973) gummy bear that is the size of an actual bear 974) consultants for your life 975) sweet popcorn 976) flannel that is not plaid 977) funyun seasoning 978) vegetable chips 979) vegetable rings. like onion rings but for other vegetables 980) business jacket with a hoodie 981) palm tree garnish 982) coconut cereal 983) a bakery that doesn't sell bread 984) bread clothing 985) a train that you can ride for free if you dance the whole time 986) gym on a train 987) wallet made out of money 988) vegetarian chicken and waffles 989) trump wig 990) 4 wheeled bike 991) sparknotes for movies 992) chocolate snow cone 993) chocolate covered toast 994) ice cubes made out of frozen coffee 995) indian french fusion 996) grapefruit soda 997) combination between a grape and a grapefruit 998) edible books 999) vanilla brownies 1000) vanilla candy bar 1001) goodreads for movies 1002) dating website that matches you based on music interests 1003) headphones that you can sleep with 1004) TV that you can remote control to move it up, down, etc 1005) anonymous blogging platform 1006) e-cig that doesn't create vapor 1007) a site to connect unemployed people to volunteer opportunities 1008) jacket with ventilation holes 1009) running shoes covered in tarp to make them waterproof 1010) massaging office chairs 1011) post-its that are sticky on both sides 1012) TED talks hosted by criminals 1013) ramen dessert 1014) Kanye West virtual reality simulator 1015) crunchy gum 1016) microwave except instead of heating, it cools 1017) sushi -> replace rice with noodles 1018) vegetarian gelatin 1019) pet dancing classes 1020) backpack with a built-in umbrella 1021) transparent sandals 1022) aerobed chairs 1023) tuxedo swimsuit 1024) non-animated anime 1025) coffee that makes you sleepy 1026) multi-color bananas 1027) chairs that are made to sit cross-legged on 1028) pet dancing classes 1029) elderly computer programming classes 1030) electronic blackboard 1031) finger warmers 1032) running gloves 1033) plaid pants 1034) cup-pies (as opposed to cupcakes) 1035) parking under city streets 1036) commute to work in a helicopter and avoid traffic 1037) protein gum 1038) caffeine jelly beans 1039) pens with edible ink 1040) dishwasher that burns off food instead of using water 1041) pill you can swallow that makes you feel full 1042) e-book reader that has a hardcover like a book 1043) device that projects gps directions onto your windshield 1044) fried spaghetti 1045) battered and fried vegetables to eat at sports games 1046) protein water 1047) baseball except you can tackle people 1048) a bar where everyone has to sit on the floor 1049) schoolbuses that are not yellow 1050) homeless person virtual reality simulator 1051) beaches with no ocean 1052) shampoo/body wash line that smells like candy 1053) four wheel scooter 1054) nylon baseball cap 1055) soft bite size pretzels in a bag 1056) electronic legal pad 1057) caramel peanut butter (reeses?) 1058) drones that can carry passengers 1059) shoes that dry themselves while you're running 1060) oven that heats and cools 1061) macaroni and cheese salad 1062) peanut butter and celery sandwich 1063) phone case made of rubber to resist impact damage 1064) a refrigerator that locks when it's not time to eat 1065) carbonated tea 1066) dessert lasagna 1067) soundcloud for sound effects 1068) youtube for free indie movies 1069) airbnb except guests don't pay with cash, they cook for you 1070) DJ Khaled dog toy 1071) drink glasses with built in straws 1072) vibrating pillows 1073) spill shield for cup holders in cars 1074) hydrating gummy bears for athletes 1075) wallet that smells like fruit 1076) sweet peanut butter 1077) peanut butter flavored crackers 1078) edible straws 1079) skin colored socks 1080) running socks made of polyester 1081) slippers that massage your feet 1082) mobile ice bath 1083) sunscreen that smells fruity 1084) flavored ink 1085) trees that broadcast wifi/cellular signals 1086) shoes that have foot warmers in them 1087) plaid socks 1088) gas station that sells healthy food 1089) escalator for your house 1090) bubble gum flavored gatorade 1091) gum that helps you quit marijuana 1092) recycled jeans 1093) electronic office chair for reclining/lowering/etc 1094) melatonin lollipop 1095) tea popsicles 1096) coffee flavored soda 1097) running shoes that yell motivational things while you run 1098) lightbulbs that change color depending on time of day (see f.lux) 1099) sweet and sour spaghetti sauce 1100) baked potatoes for 4/20 1101) no flex zone - a gym that does not allow flexing 1102) electric ukelele 1103) rainbow whipped cream 1104) hair gel that dissolves after 12 hours 1105) vegetable pie 1106) fruity brownies 1107) dessert burrito 1108) book club podcast 1109) antibacterial doorknobs 1110) laundry bag that neutralizes odor 1111) belt that clicks like a seatbelt 1112) christian rap music 1113) electric piano 1114) otc pain reliever patch 1115) electronic ear plugs that play white noise 1116) homeless shelter that provides sleeping pods instead of housing 1117) put vitamins in the water supply 1118) pods full of cleaning fluid that you put in the toilet basin, and they dissolve over time to clean your toilet 1119) tinted mirrors 1120) running jeans 1121) drones that deliver meals 1122) pre-toasted bread 1123) baseball hat that has the home team on the outside and away on the inside 1124) silent vacuum 1125) juice boxes filled with tea 1126) running sombrero 1127) zero calorie chips 1128) dehydrated vegetable chips 1129) electronic kaleidoscope 1130) bed that rotates 360 degrees 1131) zip up t-shirt 1132) edible floss 1133) backpack w/ velcro instead of zippers 1134) citrus licorice 1135) sweet cheetos 1136) lemon gum 1137) umbrella hat 1138) goosebumps tv show revival 1139) rice infused with vitamins 1140) zero dollar bill 1141) e-book reader made out of paper with two separate screens, like a book 1142) caffeine lollipops 1143) headphones that are shaped like ears 1144) heavy metal with pianos 1145) virtual reality LARPing 1146) programming language for animals 1147) sandals that don't have a top, they just stick to your feet 1148) rice cream sundae 1149) t shirt you can put on without messing up your hair 1150) a book about books 1151) a quiet, soundproof room in the city that costs $5/hr 1152) thing that you can strap to your lower back to support good posture 1153) air filled couch. like aerobed

#ideas

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