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liyawritesss · 8 months

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ᴄᴏᴍꜰᴏʀᴛ ꜰᴏʀ ᴘᴇʀɪᴏᴅꜱ

Characters: e-1610!Miles Morales, e-42!Miles Morales, Hobie Brown, Gwen Stacy, Margo Kess

Type: Headcanons

Synopsis: How the Spider Gang helps you through your period.

Warnings: Light cursing, periods so descriptions of blood, cramping; these can be seen as platonic or romantic! Some nicknames are used that can also be used in a platonic or romantic sense I suppose?

A/N: Currently on my menstrual and this shit was kicking my ass for a good four hours. My partner was here to help me through it, and they sorta gave me this idea lol. Love you babe!

Tags: @6-noir @babyboiboyega @badass-dora-milaje @jacuzziwaters @mbakuetshurisprincess @shuriszn @verachii @writingintheshadowsforever @cafehyunji @lulu-network @niyahwrites @pantherheart @marsfunzon22 @briology @honeybleed @romiantic @queenofthespiderverse @onlyperc @starsoir @yasminisbroke @kdyance @sussybaka10 @daisydark @ykimobessed @asensitivecookie @famedrs-blog @movie-enhusiast22

ᴇ-1610!ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟᴇꜱ

Something tells me that he has a lot of girl cousins for some reason, and I think that also influences his knowledge about periods outside of Rio educating him about them. He’s not grossed out or anything by it, but is very well of the severity of the different hormone changes and mood swings, and doesn’t wanna get caught in the crossfire at all.

Amidst the stuff in his room he has a little container of period stuff - pads, tampons, painkillers, the basics - for whenever his female friends, family or girlfriend (if and when he acquires one) come over and aren’t prepared when their periods come on randomly.

He lowkey feels bad when the cramps are hitting you hard because he can only do so much on the outside, yknow? Like he can cuddle you and rub your tummy and try to lull you to sleep, but there isn’t much outside of that that he can do.

If you're cuddling, Miles opts to hold you against his chest while music is playing and he’s on his phone. He knows his dad does the same to his mom and thinks that the same method of action should work universally, and thanks to him, most of the time, with the girls and femme-adjacent people he’s around, it does.

ᴇ-42!ᴍɪʟᴇꜱ ᴍᴏʀᴀʟᴇꜱ

Very similar to e-1610!Miles, e-42!Miles is also one to be knowledgeable about periods and the do’s and dont’s of them. However, I feel like he’s more skittish about the physicality of it all.

Like, he also has a little period kit in his room and it’s much easier to find since there’s not a lot going on and he makes sure to put it in a easy to spot place for whenever female friends, family or partners are around, and he’s comfortable being told that it’s that time of the month for that specific person, but the visual of the blood and the pain makes him squirmish. Which is ironic, given his chosen profession.

I think it's something that, while small and completely unavoidable and integral to the female anatomy, it hits close to home for him to see his mom, friends, family, or partner in pain when it comes to the cramping, the clotting, and the increased times in the bathroom. He feels guilty, like e-1610!Miles, but it’s tenfold now given his own history with being helpless with things outside of his control.

While he’s not good with words, he’ll show his care more physically. Keeps track of the cycle of the important women and people in his life, keeps his kit stocked, and if it pertains to his mom or his partner, wants to go the extra mile and buy chocolates, snacks, and act as a looming presence just in case they need anything (will def say sumn abt them being a ‘cootie monster’ as a joke to lighten the mood, but if you really wanna cuddle him, he won’t put up a fight).

ʜᴏʙɪᴇ ʙʀᴏᴡɴ

Being a friend or a partner of Hobie’s means you’re taken care of, period. Need sanitary items? He’s got a stash of em in his guitar case. Emotional? He’s leaning his shoulder to you already. Cravings? Already walking out the convenience store with his jacket stuffed with your choice of snacks. Just need to sleep? He can get you a quiet, comfy space just like that. He don’t play when it comes to this thing.

At one point you questioned if Hobie knew more about periods than you did, especially your own. The longer you’re around him, the more shocked you become with just how well he can navigate around you during this time of the month.

I definitely see Hobie as the type to want to provide physical comfort and support for your period. Back rubs, foot rubs, cuddles, cradling or rubbing or kneading your tummy to help combat the cramps and the bloating, everything. He even lets you sleep on top of him if it helps with everything. He’d definitely go to sleep with his hands cupping your tummy, thumb running along your skin to soothe your pains.

He’s good at keeping you distracted from the pain by introducing you to some music, putting on your favorite show, or just talking randomly about something that’ll engage your attention.

Hobie acts like your personal nutritionist for your period. Tells you the kind of tea to drink, what fruits to eat, what foods you should make to increase iron intake to make up for the loss of blood. And if you can’t cook, he’ll call one of his mates up to help him whip something up (or, knowing him, he’s got connections, he’ll ask someone to make sumn for you in exchange for something he can do).

ɢᴡᴇɴ ꜱᴛᴀᴄʏ

She hates her own period, so she can’t imagine how her friends and her partner feel. She’s the type to be confined to her room when she’s on her cycle pre-spider bite, however, I’d like to think that post-spider bite, she doesn’t get cramps anymore and the flow is rather light, which makes things great for being a superhero.

Therefore, Gwen takes her own experiences, coupling them with habits and things her dad does, and puts them to use for you.

Next to the dresser in her room is a little four-cube storage unit with bins that hold an assortment of things for you whenever you’re over her place. One bin has all your snacks in it that you generally like to eat, but she makes sure that it’s stocked up when your period comes around. Another has our comfy clothes you like to wear that keep you warm. Another has all the pads, tampons, and pain killers you’ll ever need, and lastly, the heating pad/warm water bottle to battle the cramps with.

Gwen will be kind of a worrywart, especially if she knows that your cramps get really bad sometimes. She’ll hover over you, wanting to help in any way she can, and even if you tell her to back off, she’ll still just kind of like, floats around just in case. It’s all out of love, though. And best believe she won't let you go if you finally invite her to cuddle again.

ᴍᴀʀɢᴏ ᴋᴇꜱꜱ

Homegirl definitely pops in on her folks using her avatar, and I feel like this all the same when those she loves are on her period. She herself suffers from heavy flows and monster cramps sometimes, so she knows a thing or two on how to manage them for herself, and for her friends and partner.

Nutrition plays a big part, so like Hobie, Margo will try to help you out with certain foods and drinks to help alleviate some of the pain and pressure from your period. She even forms a little challenge for the two of you to try out while you’re on your cycles together so that you can try things out and see if they work for you

Ironically, one of her favorite facts is that one can actually sync up with other people who they’ve bonded with over the internet, Since it’s likely majority of her friends are online and that she’d meet her partner through her virtual avatar, she’s not completely surprised when it happened, but more intrigued that it actually is factual

While she also knows that a healthy nutrition helps out big time, don't think for a second Margo won’t open up a tub of ice cream and a bag of chocolates with you and put on a movie to get through the first day of the period blues. Comfort over all is the philosophy that she follows, so if you’re not down for any of that healthy shit, she isn’t either. She’s more than glad to sleep in with you while eating fast food, so long as you’re there for when you two have to struggle to get back on routine lmao

If you enjoyed, please leave a like, comment, and reblog for others to see! And don’t be shy to send in a request!

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cellophaine · 11 months

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i dont know if you listen to lana del rey but MATT MURDOCK AND SAD GIRL BY LANA DEL REY

i need a fic based on this like i have been listening to it non stop and i cant stop thinking on him so a matt murdock angst fic with fluff with a lil smut?

Sad Girl

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, angst, smut.

Author's Note: This fic is brought to you by delusion and denial. The song has a big influence, but I made a few tweaks. Italics are flashbacks.

To Anon: yes I do listen to Lana! Quite religiously 🫣 If you read through the fic names in my masterlist, you'll see some of Lana's song titles.

Share and feedback are welcomed!

GIF Credit

"Sooo … how's it going with the guy you're seeing?"

Over the rim of your cup, you cast your watchful eyes at your friend as you took a sip of your steamed drink. Mindy's inquisitive gaze bored into you, pawing and prodding at the film of protection you projected on the particular topic. You had expected her to ask about Matt since that was where you left off the last time you saw her three months ago, even though she was your closest friend. The way you left it wasn't positive in your friend's eyes, so this time, she was adamant about the two of you catching up. You couldn't hide from her anymore, even if you tried.

You bit into the side of your cheek before releasing it; your eyes briefly darted away from Mindy's face before answering.

"It's… good."

Mindy arched a brow at your drawn-out 'good', waiting patiently as she expected you to divulge.

"It's really good. Same old, you know?"

She nodded, her eyes slightly narrowed in a way that seldomly meant something good.

"Does that mean you're still stuck in the … grey area?"

You placed your drink down a little harsher than necessary, striking a sharp sound on the delicate saucer.

"I'm not 'stuck'. It's not even a grey area; it's black and white. I chose this."

She had struck a nerve, and you didn't want to admit that to yourself.

"So you chose to be in an ambiguous relationship with a man who doesn't seem to care that much about you? Who only hits you up when he needs someone to warm his bed?"

Your casual, friends-with-benefits relationship with Matt had gone on for well over eight months. At the very beginning, you both agreed on strictly no strings attached. He would come over, you would fuck, and at the end, he would leave. It started out as a once-in-a-while thing, then once a week, and now it had almost become a nightly basis. Your closet stored some of his comfy and formal clothes, your bathroom cabinet held his own hygiene items, and your pantry was stocked with his favourite teas. Matt had slept over so often that you felt like your place was his, too. Even your first aid kit got an upgrade as you equipped it with stuff you wouldn't need yourself so you could be more prepared for any injuries he might have. You knew Matt was Daredevil, knowing the danger he might face every night. It wasn't something he could hide from you. Not for as long as Matt tried to, anyway. After your discovery of Daredevil and Matt's acceptance of the fact that you knew, you started patching him up when his nights got rough, and he began to ask for your help more often. On those nights when his injuries weren't so grave, his fucking would get rougher as the extension of his waning wrath.

"No! You're wrong. It's not like that at all. He cares about me …."

You trailed off when the doubt crept in, making you unsure of yourself. Mindy caught on to your hesitation and gave you a concerned gaze. You couldn't help it, but you wanted to prove your friend wrong. After all, it only happened three weeks ago, and the memory was still fresh in your mind.

Your boss was in a particular mood that day. He scrapped the entirety of your careful research and made you go down the police station all the way in Brooklyn to obtain the paper documents yourself. You barely made it out of work and into a cab before eleven, slouching in the back seat as the toll of the day took over. Your feet ached from the heels, and your body was riddled with tension. You were so exhausted that once you came home, you headed straight for the shower to wash off the grime and sweat; the melody of your wind chime outside on the fire escape didn't even register in your ears. After the much-needed cleanse, you settled on the couch with greasy takeout and put on your show. You didn't even notice how the wind chime had gone quiet, turning into a gentle tune momentarily before three dull knocks on the window pane startled you.

Your attention turned to the window, recognizing the silhouette outside. You only realized then that you had forgotten to take the wind chime in – the form of communication you used to signal that you were waiting for him. The melody had almost become a permanent fixture on your fire escape. You hurried to the window and ushered Matt in.

"Sorry, I totally forgot that you were coming."

You felt guilty of your own forgetfulness for giving him a false signal, but a small part of you didn't. You wanted him to stay, but you couldn't bring yourself to ask him to. It felt like a violation of your agreement. And yet, you desperately did not want to be alone that night. All the turmoil in your head quickly evaporated as Matt closed the distance, discarding his mask before he reached you and pulled you in by your waist. He planted a hungry kiss on your lips, slowly smouldering to a lingering touch. You would be lying if you said his impatience didn't turn you on. You pulled away from him, feeling embarrassed when you remembered the chow mein you had, but Matt didn't seem to mind.

"What was that for?"

Your eyes drank in the messed up hair, the glossy unsighted eyes focused a lower point on your face, and the easy smile tugged at a corner of his plump, just-kissed lips. Everything added to the boyish charm you had come to love.

"It's been a while since I last saw you. I missed you."

His confession and the way he said it with a soft smirk made you melt. Matt wasn't one for sentimental statements, but when he was in the mood for it, he always knew how to make you weak in the knees. No matter how true the admission was, he knew you knew that this was no more than a casual arrangement. Crossing the boundaries was something of a figment.

"It's only been three days."

"I know. And I still missed you all the same."

He stepped even closer, slotting one leg between your open stance before slanting his lips over yours. You couldn't help but lean into the kiss and moan; your body arched into his embrace out of second nature. His soft lips found the pulse on your neck and sucked, marking the smooth skin there as if he deemed that it was missing his mark. His hands started pulling on your clothes, making your mind run wild with the possibilities of the night. But your muscles' cry for rest was louder. For the second time that night, you gingerly pulled away from his warm embrace, and the crestfallen look on his face once you had distanced yourself almost made you regret it.

"Is something wrong?"

He asked gently. None of the whining and all of the genuine concern. You sighed, running your hands over your face.

"It's not you. It's me. I had a pretty … shitty day at work, and I … I don't feel like doing this right now."

You quickly added.

"I hope that's okay."

His immediate response untied the knot in your belly.

"Of course it's okay. You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You know that, right?"

You lowered your gaze to the ground; your voice was small and quiet.

"I do, I just don't want to disappoint you, that's all."

Matt placed a hand under your chin, lifting your face so you could look at him.

"You could never disappoint me, no matter what."

You clasped a hand around the wrist that was hovering over your collarbone. With all the courage you could muster, you begrudgingly gave voice to the inescapable outcome of the night.

"Well, I guess I'll… see you later?"

His brows furrowed as if you were speaking a language he didn't know.

"What do you mean? You're not getting rid of me that easily."

In a fell swoop, Matt picked you up. He walked to the couch, gently laid you down on the plush surface and told you to stay still. You watched with wide eyes as he disappeared into your bathroom. You heard the water running, then shutting off, and Matt appeared only to vanish into your bedroom. You peeked over the couch as you heard him rummaging around what sounded like your bedside table, helping himself to its content. Eventually, he left the bedroom with your body oil mist. You braced yourself on your elbows, apprehensive and confused, when Matt asked you to remove your sweats.

"I'm just going to give you a massage. No funny business, I promise."

He urged you to lay back as he carefully folded your clothes and put them on the armchair nearby. He loosened the knots in your muscles, kneading at your sore limbs. His hands worked with so much tenderness and patience, smoothing the oil over your skin, making sure you were relaxed and comfortable. You practically melted into the couch once he was done with you, feeling the tension had long ebbed away.

You sighed happily; the touch of appreciation sweetened your voice.

"Thank you for that."

"You don't have to thank me. I'm here for you."

Matt smiled fondly at you, which deepened the crinkles around his eyes. And then, there was a brief moment of hesitation, as if he didn't know if he should say what he wanted to say.

"Do you want me to leave?"

He finally asked, his voice soft. The question seemed so small, yet, it made your heart soar, sending a familiar serotonin rush through your veins.

"No. Stay with me, please."

Matt slid onto the couch with you, cuddling you from behind. The space was a little cramped, but you were grateful for it for the way his body pressed up against you underneath the cozy blanket. The two of you watched your favourite show together. Still, you didn't pay much attention to it as your mind tried to soak up as much of this feeling as possible until you fell asleep. When you woke the next morning, he wasn't there. Yet, something felt different now that you had a taste of what it was like to be on the other side of the thorned fence.

Despite the "developement", you still felt unsure. And Mindy could tell that.

"If he cared about you like that, why haven't you made it official? Is there something holding you back?"

You bit your lip, your head lowered as you still tether at the edge of acceptance of your situation after an even more recent event.

"Actually, yeah …"

You thought you knew him better than most people did, but maybe, it was you who knew the least of all. You thought about last week when you were tasked with writing a piece on the new up-and-coming law firm in the middle of Hell's Kitchen that took down Wilson Fisk.

It was all a coincidence, but you didn't mind getting to observe Matt on a professional level. The business plate on the wall outside looked new and polished, contrary to the inside. The building was a little dingy but functional. When Foggy Nelson welcomed you into the small office, the sight you saw was all but welcoming. The glass panes did nothing to conceal the view of Matt being awfully cozy with a gorgeous woman, who you knew was Karen Page. She straightened his tie, and Matt was saying something to her, his soft lips close to the crown of her head. Karen laughed at his words, and in return, an easy smile spread across his face. The intimate scene made you feel like you were intruding on the two of them just by looking in. A lump formed in your throat, but you swallowed it down. It was no time for personal feelings and thoughts.

Still, the unpleasant feeling simmered and stayed with you throughout the interview until the very end. When the photographer showed up to take their photos for the newspaper, you bore witness to their intimacy once more. It was obvious to anyone that there was something between them, whether it was in the past or present. The way they held each other before your observant eyes manifested into something tangible that you could touch and couldn't compare. Their bond was something deeper than your relationship. That only aggravated your stubborn jealousy and how ashamed you felt afterward for feeling such fierce possessiveness over someone who wasn't even yours. He never was, never had been, and never would be. What you had was a casual agreement, and that was all to it. But you had to go ahead and fall for him.

The look on Mindy's face after you told her about Matt and Karen was one you knew too well. It was of pity, and you hated being on the receiving end.

"It sounds like he might have something going on with that woman. After all, you didn't agree to be mutually exclusive."

She took hold of your hand, giving it a squeeze as if to soften the blow she was about to deliver.

"I think you should reconsider your relationship. Being the other woman is not worth it, no matter how good in bed he is."

You couldn't stop the frown that formed on your lips, but you could control the trembling that almost broke in your lower lip. You jerked your hand away as if Mindy's touch seared you with shame. Your voice shook as your defensiveness raised itself around you.

"You don't know him like I do, okay? Stay out of it. I don't need your sage advice."

I don't need you to tell me how wrong I am. You wanted to say. You knew that already. Saying that out loud would mean admitting you were wrong about Matt, about the two of you, and about everything.

You grabbed your bag from the chair and walked out of the coffee shop, ignoring Mindy's calls. Your nose felt stung from the unshed tears, from the weight of your friend's words. You knew she only wanted good things for you, but she was wrong. She must be.

Even then, in your heart, you weren't so sure.

That night, you didn't think Matt would come. But you were thankful that he did. The moment you heard his familiar steps on the stairs, making his way up to you, you were already at the window, practically pulling Matt in once he reached you. You didn't even wait until he got even footing on the floor to kiss him senselessly, drawing a surprised gasp from him. He didn't seem to mind and quickly reciprocated. Moments later, your clothes were shed, letting your bare skin and laboured breaths fill the silence. Matt's hands ran all over your curves appreciatively, his lips tangled with yours fervently. He whispered on your lips when you parted to breathe.

"I missed you."

You heard that, Mindy? He said he missed me.

"I missed you too."

Your words drawled into a soft moan as he took your bottom lip between his teeth and pulled slightly. His hand settled on your ass, urging you to jump into his arms like you always would, and you did. The proof of his need for you pressed against your stomach, hard and unyielding. Matt shifted you in his arms, and you used the movement to graze your slick core around his shaft. Your arousal smeared on his length, and you couldn't stop the gasp at the feeling of him so close to your entrance. Matt found your bedroom easily and fell onto the soft sheets with you. You scuttled back to make room, and he followed you. You held yourself up by your elbows; a shiver ran through your body as you watched him stroke his cock a few times before teasing your entrance. His tip touched your wet folds, dragging and spreading the slickness along the slit. He stimulated your clit with his velvet head, and you whimpered at how good it felt. As you parted your lips to tell him to stop teasing you, he plunged in without warning, and the complaint from your throat became a blissed moan.

Matt stopped for a moment after fully sheathed inside you, his face tilted towards yours, allowing you to drink in the pure euphoria on his face. His mouth was open-slacked, his brows curved up in an acute focus of relief, his unsighted eyes lost in the heaven you shared. You rocked your hip to meet his, only to be stopped with his hands on your waist, his hold tight, but not enough to leave bruises.

"If you keep moving like that, I won't last very long."

You nudged your heel against his ass, and your thighs squeezed his hips like an invitation.

"I don't care. I need you. Please."

Something shifted in him when you begged, and your prayer was answered with a withdrawal and hard thrust of his hips. You cried out, letting yourself fall back on the mattress and allowing Matt to pound into you. Each delicious thrust brought you closer to the edge, but you used all of your willpower to hold on. You wanted to finish with him. Matt's body covered yours as he nudged your head to rest on the crook of his arm. He caged you in, encompassing you in a cocoon that was him. His fingers wove into your hair, pulling the strands slightly to draw out your moans. His face hovered over yours, and with the barely-there distance, you felt like you were observing a piece of art reserved for your eyes only. Matt was all-consuming, demanding your attention and submission in every sense possible. All you saw was his beautiful face, all you heard was his lustful cries, and all you felt was his fullness inside you, stealing your breaths. You succumbed to him fully, worshipping him with everything that was attached to your mortal shell.

Your cries of pleasure intertwined with his created a beautiful melody of primal desires. Your hands clawed at his back, without a doubt making marks. Matt only groaned louder at the claim you made on his back, enjoying the pain you inflicted on him. As you neared your end, your core clenched hard, and his thrusts only got rougher at the tell-tale sign of your finish line. You could feel how close he was with the way his pace stuttered. You took hold of his chin, and Matt took a brief moment to kiss your thumb.

"Let go. I've got you."

You whispered breathlessly as his deep strokes made it hard to talk. Matt drew your thumb into his mouth and bit on it, but it did little to muffle his grunts of release. The feeling of him filling you up triggered your own orgasm as you came with him. The white-hot pleasure made you arch your back, making your pebbled nipples graze his broad chest. Matt's hand came down to grope at one breast, massaging and playing with your nipple, making you gasp, moan, and writhe at the sensation. He dipped his head to the hardened peak and soothed its ache with the warmth of his mouth as if to apologize for the lack of attention he paid. When you finally came down from the high, Matt whisked you into a breathless, lingering kiss as if he never wanted it to end. You happily reciprocated, and at that moment, it really felt like he might have feelings for you.

A little while later, after Matt had helped you settle in bed and fetched you some water, he slipped into the spot beside you, nudging your head to rest on his chest. His fingers caressed your arm, raising goosebumps on your skin. You played with the ridges of his abs; your blissful mind ran wild with all the possibilities and hypotheses. You felt something different tonight, just like that night when he cuddled you to sleep.

"Hey, I was wondering …."

He hummed in reply, waiting for you to continue.

"We've been doing this for a while, and I … I wonder if anything has changed."

His hand still kept a steady rhythm on your arm.

"What has changed?"

"Us. Our relationship."

Matt turned his face towards you, and your heart chipped a little at the confusion. He took a moment before answering you.

"We both agreed on being strictly casual. So … no, nothing has changed."

The crack on your heart turned into splinters that kept falling down like a flimsy house of cards, and you weren't fast enough to catch all the pieces. Of course, Mindy was right. You were such a fool. How could you hope for something different after all this time?

"Where was my memo on this thing?"

Matt chuckled softly, seeming to please with the little joke he made. Even though his body was warm, you only felt colder than ever. You slowly removed yourself from him as if Matt had grown thorns, and every movement hurt. Once you left the bed, Matt braced himself on one elbow, an easy, nonchalant, suggestive air about him.

"Are you freshening up for round two?"

You sighed heavily.

"No, I'm tired, and I would like to go to bed."

When Matt didn't say anything, you quickly added.

"Besides, I have to get up early tomorrow."

It was not exactly the truth, but a half-lie would do just fine. It seemed like Matt got the hint as he got up and searched for his scattered clothes on the floor. Once decent, he made his way to you at the window sill; his hand reached out to touch your elbow.

"Are we okay?"

He asked with a touch of hesitation. You huffed an indulgent chuckle.

"Yes. We're okay. I've had a long day, with a lot to think about."

You forced yourself to smile, even though he couldn't see it. It was more for you, so you wouldn't physically surrender to the turmoil inside. Matt kissed your cheek softly, and you did everything not to avoid his affection.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

He left your apartment with the promise, one that you wouldn't blame him for not keeping. You stayed up until the morning, and throughout the day, you allowed everything Mindy said to torment you, driving and twisting the knife further until your heart was a mangled, broken piece of decoration in your chest. And you knew you deserved every single cut. You weren't stupid; you knew that you were in the wrong. You were blinded by the possibility of Matt reciprocating your feelings that you were all too happy to be the other woman despite all the red lights. But the answer he gave you last night was definite. There was no future for the two of you that wouldn't end in a crash and burn.

That night, your fire escape was dead quiet for the first time in months. You were home; Matt could tell by the rhythm of your heart inside your cozy place. No matter how many times he called your name and knocked on your window, you wouldn't welcome him in like you usually would. Matt left the bundle of flowers he brought you at your fire escape that night. They would stay where they were as he felt them wither away every night until they ceased to exist.

*Likes, reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated!*

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danibeanie · 2 months

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Cancer mars post 🤍

(Also moon-mars aspects!)

-I really feel like this placement resonates the most with me when it comes to my natal chart. The funny thing is that it makes NO aspects with any other planets.

-I’ve heard somewhere that a planet that doesn’t make any aspects with other planets is important because it’s just itself with no other influences.

-wherever you have this placement with definitely influence that house x10. I feel like planets in their fall or detriment just impact your whole chart in general.

Positives 🩵

-your intuition is literally amped 100 by this placement. someone can be talking to me in a different tone than usual and I can just sense there’s something wrong and they’re like HOW DID U KNOW??😭

-emotions are strong and it’s because it’s influence links with the moon. we know that the moon is who we are deep within, our hidden feelings. anything I do makes me want to work even HARDER because it’s all sooo personal to me 🥲

-strong empathy with this placement you naturally put yourself into others people shoes, want to take care of others and it just comes by instinct.

-people many call you super nice and your just talking LMAO. I have this placement in my 3rd house which is ruled by communication so it’s just natural for me to embody the placement when I’m talk.

-ex you can have this in the 7th house and your just super giving into any relationships kinda intense lol, 10th house people at work may see you as mother😋 (kidding) a nurturing person.

-a lot of passion, many people forget that cancer mars is a CARDINAL sign which means it’s easy for these people to fall into a leader position. we are go getters and can be a bit competitive.

Negatives🩶

-any conflict that we have is literally the end of the world. It’s feels like impending doom when I’m mad at someone because the only way I can control this is by crying 😭

- we hold grudges *sigh* , no but really it will take me so long to forgive someone and it’s hard to let go of that bitterness. Its just that we are so considerate so when someone does something we would never do it’s hard to let go of that situation.

-mood swings are there and other people can easily get affected by this as well. we can be fine and dandy then we think about something that hurt us from 5 months ago and then we get passive.

^im very self aware of this and I try not to let it happen and when it does I isolate myself

-most of our anger is directed towards family???😭 idk if it’s just me but my family tends to see the ugly side of this placement. no one’s ever seen me SUPER-mad except for my parents.

-does anyone else get HORRIBLE,UNBEARABLE periods?!? I feel like no one talks about this.

-AVOID CONFRONTATION like no other and then we wonder why we hold grudges cause WE DONT TALK IT OUT LMAO.

-it’s easy to get drained of tasks that your not emotionally invested in or see no future in. I can make a whole rant on how this affects my school life but that’s too much.*sigh*

Influential musicians 🩵

chester bennington(lead singer of linkin park) also had a cancer mars.(may he rest in peace🤍) A lot of rock and heavy metal musicians have cancer mars which is ironic because they put all that passion and emotion into their lyrics and singing.

-lana del rey is a cancer mars and I feel like she embodies this placement fully. even by her lyrics and just the way she talks.

IN CONCLUSION 🩵

-being a cancer mars has its ups and down and so many people pertain to its negatives. I believe that people with the fallen/detriment placements all naturally have their positives as well. it’s definitely a placement you have to live and learn by. I love this placement because it humbles me, gives me empathy and kindness ,but don’t cross us cause then we’ll reciprocate that rudeness 10x harder.

#cancer mars #astrology content #astro observations #astro community #lana del rey #cancer placements

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blingblong55 · 11 months

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Moments like this- 141+ König

GN!Reader, fluff, romantic! Relationship, civilian! reader

Based on a request: Do you think you could write some hcs (for 141 guys and konig ofc hes my fav<3) where the reader has really long hair?.Just for some inspo: I'm thinking ghosts love language entails him helping brush, wash, care for his s/o hair. And Johnny and konig love playing with their s/o hair, braiding it, learning how to do hairstyles etc...thank you🩷💖

A/N: as soon as I read the request, I thought of Rapunzel when in tangled she gets her hair done by the little girls lol

Price:

This man grew up with only brothers, but he was more of the kinder one, so when it came to you and your long hair, he watched tutorials on how to braid and care for hair.

It was new to him, he hadn't done this, like ever.

But, when he came home after a long and stressful day, he would go to you. Who was already in the couch waiting for him.

He couldn't talk, it was as if his voice had just given out. So what does he do? starts running his fingers through your hair.

Which calms both of you, he someway, somehow fell asleep. And it was definitely the best he's had so far.

So, this become a thing, you dont ask questions and neither does he.

All you do is wait by the couch or in bed and he drops everything and combs through your hair, slowly drifting into sleep.

I like to think he asks Kate and her wife on how to do a pony tail, and although he tries, he gets so frustrated, he ends up giving up.

Gaz:

I whole heartedly believe he grew up with sisters, with that said, he knows how to braid your hair.

I am talking a master at braids, when he isn't in the mood for too much, he brushes your hair, and when he just needs to relax in a warm bath, he drags you in and washes your hair.

There was one time where you were sick, and he knows that if you stay in bed for longer, you won't feel better, so...he washes your hair, putting all the right products in, massaging your scalp and overall being such husband material.

Lots of kisses for sure, he makes sure you get at least 10 kisses per day. And as he brushes your hair, he kisses your forehead.

He even asks his sisters what kind of oils he can use on your hair type to help it grow healthy and strong.

At times when he does come home super late and he is very tired, all he does is crawl into bed and cuddle you, but best believe he is brushing your hair slowly and delicately.

Like Price, it soothes him to brush your hair, makes him sleepy and all. Thats why when he cant sleep, he brushes your hair with his hands.

Soap:

This man also grew up in an all women household and I will not be told otherwise. So, when you and him start dating, and you let your hair down more often, he likes to sits down by the porch and to braids on you.

One time, mainly because his niece made him watch Tangled, he places flowers on your freshly done braid. He even took pictures of you, and best believe that picture is now carried everywhere he goes. I am talking wallet, vest pocket, phone wallpaper, and has drawn it on a lot of sketch books.

He also loves messing with you, and because you trust him so much with your hair, he gives you a literal unicorn horn, which makes you two cry so hard from laughing.

He also drew that in a sketch book. When his nieces are around, he brags on his skills. And to demonstrate he is good at doing hair, he makes you sit on a pillow on the floor as he does your hair.

Messy buns are a no at times, because he loves to see you in his hair dos.

There was one time where you were so drunk but it was the same day you had to wash your hair that he did it for you. There was a mess everywhere, but he did the job and there is definitely no complaining.

Ghost:

This man is awkward and sometimes weirded out by physical touch, so to make you feel better he started to follow influencers that taught him about the importance of hair care.

He tries so hard at times, but it's the intention that matters. One night, while you were sad, brushed your hair and hummed a tune.

And slowly he realizes this could be his way of showing his affection towards you, so he does it everyday now.

When you wake up, there he is , waiting to comb your hair. At night after a shower, he is waiting by the bed to comb your hair and listen to what you did all day.

After deployments when he comes tired, he lays on the couch and you lay on top of him, he, like price and gaz, falls asleep as he combs through your hair.

Your hair at times is untamable, which bothers him, but it teaches him patience, so he goes for the long run and slowly but surely does your hair justice.

At times when you two, have rough sex, he gets mad at himself for making your hair a mess. But not to worry, that one of his ways of aftercare is to comb your hair.

König:

We all know this man is a gentle giant, it's a fact at this point. Anyways, his love language is physical contact, so when there are days you don't feel like hugging or just being touched in the slightest by him (rarely happens im sure) he combs your hair.

I also like to believe he is the only child, so like the golden retriever energy kind of man he is, he adores when he can do other activities with you, like your hair.

Before him, it was a mess, you'd wake up, comb it and give yourself split ends and now, it's so smooth and nice and puffy, it's just so perfect.

I know for sure at night when he can't sleep he is watching YouTube tutorials for different kinds of hairstyles.

One time he ran out of hair gel because for a whole week all he did was try weird and definitely funny hair do's.

Best believe like Ghost, after a night of fun, his form of aftercare includes him coming your hair.

He reads on how braiding your hair can help it grow, so, everynight since he braids your hair and makes sure it's not pulling your hair, just so you can get a nights rest.

If you use a bonnet, this man will literally learn why that is and also ask around with his female comrades.

A/N: I did this in such rush, so if I did get a few wordings wrong...sorry not sorry..

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

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sickeningly-sweet-letters · 10 months

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hhhhh i want a cute domestic life so badly

so heres this! :D no i dont take inspiration from whatever music is stuck in my head and influencing my mood wdym

this was originally meant to be a housewife but i got carried away with the backstory sorry-

🌻female yandere childhood friend x gn reader!

- the two of you were childhood friends, you used to play house all the time! she’d always beg her parents to stay a little longer at your place, but you were the only one who calmed her down enough. you were willing to deal with her personality, you’d always be there waiting for her the next day, so its only natural she had grown so fond of you.

- you both promised that one day, you wouldn’t just be playing house anymore, that you’d both be a real married couple! your parents just thought it was a cute little moment and you’d grow out of it, but she definitely didn’t. the thought of getting to be your bride was the best thing that happened to her! until you actually got married, of course.

- even as you naturally drifted away a bit as you grew older, she still tried to be your closest friend. the thought of you not being there almost put her into a panic! again, you saving her from any bullies was enough to calm her fears. she knew it! you’d always be her knight in shining armor! those two guys she paid earlier definitely got a tip from how happy she was that you’d passed her test.

- she always tried to play the “cute and innocent” childhood friend card around you, even if her moods and fantasies tended to be somewhat intense. she wanted to be your damsel in distress who married you one day! its not like you’d have any other suitors anyway. she made sure that you didn’t. its not like she was above bribing people or even threatening them.

- even if you tried to make other friends, her clingy and needy nature seemed to ward other people off on its own. but all you needed was her, right? she knew you better than anyone else! think of all the memories you made together! nobody could take her place as your closest friend! not like you had much of a choice, she’d threaten anyone who even tried to get near you.

- but its fine! highschool would be smooth sailing for the both of you! she wanted to confess her feelings but you probably knew, right? you were basically already betrothed after that promise! its not like you forgot or anything, right? you were letting her being all affectionate because you loved her back, right?

- she always made sure to write down every single detail of everyday and every little thing about you! but still! couldn’t you act a little more loving? did she really have to spell it out for you! jeez.. maybe you’re just playing hard to get? you should know that her heart belongs to you! but she’s sure that you’ll come around soon! even if she has to encourage you a little!

the two of you made a promise to be together forever, you cant back out now. not after being together for so long.

#yandere oc x reader #yandere x reader #female yandere #female yandere x reader #yandere x darling #yandere scenarios

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 7 months

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as someone who used to be huge bts fan and biased jimin and jk to now really only caring and being excited about jimin and his art feels so horrible to me tbh but i cant help it jungkook especially made me so dissapointed in this second chapter and i lost so much affection for him. i feel like he lost his appeal to me. Jimin however blew me away smf was just beyond amazing and then face and lc with all the art and heart in it ppl making all kinds of theories connecting him to poems, movies, queer ppl and writting essays about his work. I miss that i miss feeling of excitement and love like that with all 7 of them but jimin just seems to have stolen all my affection. i dont wanna be a solo stan tbh but i feel like i will never like bts as i used to.

Your line of thinking is so categorical, which is something very common when we're operating within a fandom. You mentioned lost affection, which indicates why you're feeling like this. It's the emotional involvement that makes us so involved and to feel so strongly about everything they do. And it can be something positive, like you said about Jimin, or something more negative, like your feelings towards Jungkook right now. I think it's easier for us to navigate these conversations once we acknowledge our position and we understand and admit were we're coming from. For example, I know that almost everything of Jimin's work is elevated and given extra importance in my mind because I like him. It doesn't mean that it's false or I made it all in my head, but if I only heard of him vaguely and looked through some of his work, I'd probably say at first "cool dude, he's interesting". And maybe if I was in the mood, I'd look it up more. It's the same as Jungkook fans now defending/celebrating every step of his career in Chapter 2 and they do that just like any other fan of an artist who is deep into a parasocial relationship. (Also, let's no hide or say only a category of fans are like that. Most of us are and we manifest in various ways).

If you want to label yourself as a solo stan, fine by me. Categories can make life easier, but they also limit not just us, but also those we are interested in or we don't really like. To me, this position is not one I would choose and I see the damage. Being so much involved in fandom, from the position of a solo stan, or a particular shipper/supporter or ot7/whatever else there is, can make us obtuse sometimes and more often than not, really mean in an environment in which online bullying is now acceptable. I see what JK solos say about Jimin and I see what Jimin solos say about Jungkook. It's horrible. Not only that, it's predictable because what they say is what is being transmitted throughout their own communities. It's like learning a script, especially when it comes to insults. And one has to be categorical and hateful. Not critical, because that would imply nuance and we know how no one cares about that.

I'm not enjoying the music Jungkook has been putting out in Chapter 2. I'm not enjoying how it's promoted. But to go from there and change my entire opinion seems too dramatic for me. He's not this horrible guy that he's being painted at. Just listen to him talk, watch his wlives. He's still a dork and he seems genuinely nice. I can live with all these thoughts in my head. Like I said, emotional involvement makes us go crazy, but in my case, previous experience with other creative people and celebrities is influencing the way I see things. I have favorite directors/actors that have some films that I consider really bad and so far from some of their earlier good stuff. But the world doesn't end there. It's ok. It's either a phase or they'll go down the hill, but there's still films that I like or I enjoy their way of looking at the world through their art. I like stuff from people I find displeasing, but I can put that aside and only look at the object.

It's the same with Jungkook for me. And if I don't like something, I will not waste my time trying to find excuses for it or defend it just because I like the person.

Just now I saw that clip of Bang PD talking about JK and it confirmed what others and I've been saying since Seven was released. This was Scooter's work, just as 3D and the other songs that will be released on the album. Jungkook in Chapter 2 musically and Golden are now the result of the partnership between Hybe and Hybe America. And it seems that the strategy is to focus on collabs to bring more attention to it, let Scooter gather all the songs and basically set the tone for everything and deliver a recipe for success. Do I wish Jungkook would let himself be convinced to put out a music album by other sort of people and not Bang & Scooter? Yes. But it was his decision and I can only look at the results and say that it's not for me. But I'm talking about it because I have an interest in Jungkook and because I have the right to say it, just like everyone on the internet.

I'm perfectly fine with all of these contradictions, while still expressing some of my frustrations. I won't expect from Jungkook something similar to what Jimin does because artistically they seem to not have that much in common right now, separately. It doesn't mean that I don't consider Jimin's work to have more artistic value. It has and it's something that I'm interested in and to which I pay attention to.

And sometimes, pop music is just pop music and we can simply enjoy it. Theoretically, that's Jungkook's path right now, but given how it came to fruition, the message it sends, knowing what Jungkook is capable of in terms of producing/writing lyrics, then it is disappointing to me. And so be it.

#m thoughts #jimin #jungkook #jikook

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laprimera · 1 month

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ABOUT THE MUN - ooo I got tagged ooOooo

what made you pick up the current muse(s) you have?

fixation as soon as the second trailer with her reveal came? Like the little snippets that was known about the game already weaved a pretty intricate (and disproven lol) plot and personality.

Even after everything got debunked I still kept my original lore + now I live and love the idea her ideal, picturesque self is actually a front for how clutzy and forgetful she really is as a super busy champion who's passionate about her region.

is there anything you don’t like to write?

bad/sad unnecessary endings or forks in the road?? I know it's silly in context like "well stories arent all happy-" BUT THIS IS POKEMON AR PEE AND I PARTIALLY CONTROL THE NARATIVE AND I WANT MY PROTAGS TO GO THROUGH IT BUT COME OUT AT THE END GETTING EVERYTHING THEY WANT. IS IT SO BAD I DONT WANT TO PARTICIPATE IN BITTER SADNESS EVEN IN A FANTASY MADE-UP SCENARIO? REALITY IS HELL AS IS I DONT WANNA BE SAD ALL DAY OVER INTERNET BARBIES, I HAVE BILLS AND TAXES TO DO.

so I make sure to plot with long term plot partners so we all get that character growth and exciting story with something good they can all take away in the end. No, the character doesnt have to die to prove a macab point. No the loving couple doesnt have to break up for some story twist. And thats what AU's are for if we're looking to explore something else so it's easy to separate from 👍

is there anything you really enjoy writing?

plot novellas 👀 I see a partner reply instantly to a plot thread and I jive for days on end until the next reply for real-- each one is a really juicy cliffhanger and a lot of them still haunt the back of my mind.

how do you come up with headcanons?

most come with interactions or thoughts stemming from the game or story itself. Eventually they branch out and more ideas happen and a lot comes from looking at dash and bringing up some really interesting points!

do you write in silence or do you play music?

Ambiance and music helps esp when silence is actually really distracting (thoughts wandering and what not-adhd be like that). The mood even influences the reply.

do you plan your replies or wing them?

planned for plot driven replies but ic bouts and simple replies are winged!

do you enjoy shipping?

YES YES YES YES, though recently I have to be a little more careful about saying Im completely open to shipping on whim. At some points the plot involves the other person too much and it gets hard to move a story along esp with the nature of the rpc and the lifespan of interest in the muse/rpc (which is natural ofc!).

You're okay to show and express interest in shipping so we can take a direction with our muses interaction wise but I say it's not for certain until they develop some more long term. Who knows, maybe it was just a crush or a fling sort of thought :' 0

what’s your alias/name?

Leche leche leche leche leche milk

age?

birthday?

may!

favorite color?

red and greens

favorite song?

Sugar, You by the Oh Honey has taken a lot of real-estate in my head lately--

last movie you watched?

I,,,havent watched a movie in a really long time Ill be honest OTL,, I dont have the attention span to sit down for more then twenty minutes if that.

last show you watched?

Aggretsuko final season! That,,,was awhile ago. See above oop--

last song you listened to?

Dont know the last song that played on my car radio 🤔

favorite food?

spaghetti and meatballs and cereal < 3

favorite season?

spring 🌼

do you have a tumblr best friend?

ooh I dont want to make anyone feel left behind. My moots have a special place regardless of hobby or not <3

tagging: uh...

#ooc. ･ﾟ ✹#tierra-paldeana #thank yooou < 3

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astroyongie · 2 years

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really not insisting here i just dont know if i should ask again now that you did the golden child one

so skz aura? 🧡

Stray Kids Aura/Energy

Note: Please keep In mind this is only my perception on their energy. Also because I am a fan of them, I am trying to be unbiased and critic on their auras like I do on any other group

Bangchan: We all know he has a strong energy, that he has a sad one as well. However Chan also has an energy I have a hard time with sometimes, because he is the type of energy that can easily top others when it comes to certain things. He has the tendency to be has harsh with others as he is with himself

Minho: his aura is a pure neutral, however lately his energy has been very down, his vibrations aren't the best either. Minho is the type to adapt himself on energies but his batteries can die easily. He hides too much, shows too little

Changbin: Strong sociable energy, a little chaotic but he is able to manage very well the energy of others and be a bridge to energies. He is needed on the group for the tensions. Strong and stable aura

Hyunjin; He is a completely wreck, an unbalanced aura that will figged between being strong and authoritative from being quiet, sensitive and completely emotional. He lacks support, he loves too deeply, he self destroys.

Jisung: His aura is rather stable but he has a hard time dealing with exterior energies, he fears what he can't control. Jisung doesn't have a honest energy, it will bounce between pretending and be really who he is. Needs to get his vibration on a stable level

Felix: Now Felix is a "ping pong" energy, his moods and energies will always depend on the people he is with. He feeds a lot on peoples emotions, a little bit vampiric in a way, he knows how to lurk them and feed of them (not necessarily negative). However he needs to let go of some energies and people he tires without noticing

Seungmin: Extremely calm and soft energy, despite everything, he is able to control at perfection his vibrations, can keep his cool and his head no matter the situations. Needs to clear out when it's too much

Jeongin: still a very immature and young energy, he needs someone to help him control everything he feels inside him. Jeongin's vibrations are chaotic, he influences people's energy, he can as much give as take

#stray kids #stray kids astrology #stray kids auras #stray kids imagines #stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #stray kids headcanons

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egoepicure · 1 year

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just gonna ramble about my personal experience with being objectum!

also making this a little "share your story" post!

feel free to add your own experience, regardless of how odd you may think it is or how few people you see with the same views.

are you posic? no? do you believe your objectum feelings are due to or partially due to past experiences or neurodivergency? do you only feel certain attraction for objects and do you feel attraction to people? do you experience stuff with your objectum identity that you dont often see other objectum people talk about? i'd love to hear different peoples pov of this!

my personal stuff under the cut!

I feel a tad bit odd about my personal experience with being os/or / objectum. i'm not posic really? i dont view objects as having souls or being alive in any capacity, though a lot of people ive seen on here do that. for me, having something fully able to react and such as a human does kind of puts me off as it brings back any stress of human interaction i experience. this isnt to say i think nothing of the objects around me.

im more of a lowkey spiritual person, i dont practice many things activily, but i hold beliefs. one of those beliefs is everything having energy inside of it. this isn't necessarily a soul or being alive, but regardless of that energies can be attractive. its why i consider myself masc-leaning os/or. things with more "masculine" energy or far more attractive to me.

i can come up with personalities, names, gender, etc for objects, and usually they come naturally based on that energy, but when it comes down to it i dont believe anything of that sort is necessarily real. that doesnt stop me from being attached to and attracted objects, concepts, places, etc.

people have never been very interesting to me, im not sure how much of that is influenced by my being ND (though, definitely the lack of even platonic or familial bonding is part of that), and for me alternative things have always been easier for me to bond and become attached to and i refer to myself as aroace because of this, since im really not attracted to people at all. objects have always been a safe space for me to seek comfort, be openly awkward or embarrassing, experiment, confide in, and honestly it has always been more satisfying and less negative for me that connecting with people, since that doesn't come naturally to me personally.

my object bonding doesnt stop at just positive bonds either lol, there are some objects i HATE (especially some of the machines at my work place... i swear they are difficult on purpose, only act up when they shouldnt... they have the energy of cranky old people doing everything out of spite...). but usually, my bonding is more confusing, i dont think in the simply terms of bonds (platonic, romantic, sexual, aesthetics, whatever) as ive never really understood them too much, and a lot of them overlap or are different depending on time and mood or object ofc. objects are also a space i dont have to be worried about that with though.

i know a lot of objectum people are very attached to their objects of course, and i am too, but due to past experiences with having things taken from me / thrown out on me / changed without my permission, and nd issues with apathy and such i dont think im as caring about "hurting" (again dont view my objects as alive so they cant really be hurt imo) or throwing away objects as even sentimental non-objectum people honestly.

#objectumsexual #objectum rambles #objectum #os/or #os/or positivity #objectum romantic #significant object #objectum positivity #personal #posic #raccoon rambling #open for interaction #osor #object of affection

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nanjokei · 1 year

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this is a post of me shitting on intsys for what happened to engage, i honestly feel bad for mika pikazo, basically thrown under the bus by intsys from the start, was given very little instruction on what to do and what the mood of the game (engage) will be and it seems like there wasn't much of an editing down phase either. i feel bad she was just handed the paltry descriptions of 40 characters (being instructed to draw "older woman" and then the character turning out to be 30 sticks out in my mind) with not much direction.

im not a big fan of her style these days, more of a 2018 mika pikazo appreciator, but i question why they hired the artist who most commonly draws album covers, magazine covers and alt designs for already existing characters like hatsune miku. i do think the onus falls on intsys for hiring someone who seemingly doesn't fit the job, but i think if they actually gave real direction the designs would not be in the state they are now.

ofc being the nerd i am i object to her art being pejoratively labeled as "vtuber art" because i never understood that label and also frankly i think it's insulting to reduce the style of an artist who has been around for a long time to just one thing. i keep seeing that post explaining it and its like buddy... sorry you keep seeing personalityless twitch indies who overcompensate by overpaying for ugly overdesigned models but saying "vtuber style" is surmountable to "too anime". what does it mean?! i read that post over and over and i feel like the influence of "vtuber" (incredibly vague term that means nothing and changes between whoever uses it because its convenient) and "genshin" (im not a genshin fan and i dont care for the designs in it but is it really that influential as OP claims?) is very overstated... if anything the design in anime and games these days is increasingly influenced by subculture, shit like jiraikei which i actually dislike because THAT'S repetitive and generic. how many times have you seen a design in recent years that's structurally just this to the point of being boring to tears

im seriously not saying this as a "vtuber fan", given the vtubers i watch most often are "elf guy in a suit", "guy in labcoat", "girl in very normal school uniform" but i find that kind of criticism an oxymoron. is it because i don't really interact with twitch stuff? like, whatever. i know being an oldhead who usually just sticks to what ive liked for years impacts my point of view. my point is that mika pikazo is a talented artist, the designs she put out for engage were a massive miss but 1) was she the person for the job 2) did intsys give her adequate instructions and support and the answer to both is no. i think it's fine to dislike the designs, i don't like a lot of them either now that i've seen all of them. but at the same time a lot of people are just extra rude about it (seen in replies to redesigns) and usually i wouldn't find any issue but knowing the context that intsys screwed pikaZ over really really stings. i remember when engage was revealed people were harrassing her for weeks which sucks, she's been nothing but a really positive presence online.

i was gonna say "anyway hire someone who fits" but then i remembered how kusakihara is one of the most overbearing control freak art directors in any game company i've ever seen, hiring chinatsu kurahana for fe3h and then not letting her draw any of the in-game sprites despite being an artist who is familiar with the workflow of visual novels and the like... and yes i can tell it's kusakihara imitating her style. i know the way he renders, especially the way he makes tits look disgustingly oiled up.

interestingly, kozaki was always thrown under the bus in a similar way to pikazo, making similar remarks about how fantasy designs aren't his forte and how he's not sure why they hired him (we now know it's because they wanted hidari for awakening but he had other obligations). kozaki even got the blame for some of the worse designs like camilla, even though that was a kusakihara design. i'll lay my cards on the table: i think kozaki's designs, given he is not a fantasy artist, i feel comfortable in saying that they're bad. he's a comic-like artist that does well with modern day stuff. you let him onto fire emblem and he makes the insane armor designs in fea and fates. and of course all my respect to him, but like pikazo he is not the right guy for the job.

anyway i hope you guys are ready for them to hire kishida mel next and for every girl to be an infantile school girl cause LOL. they really gotta stop hiring super specialized artists (like pikazo who does one off illustrations best, and kozaki who does western movie/comic book inspired realistic designs best). even when they hire "the right person", intsys and the art director and overall director kusakihara are overbearing and take over too much (as seen with kozaki and kurahana, according to the echoes artbook there were hints of him trying to influence hidari as well but hidari was not shaken + hidari was there on a favor so they probably couldn't pressure him more LOL)

but yeah i think people should be blaming intsys way more

#rambles #long post

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prince-tulip · 1 year

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I need to stop trying to be everything for everyone.

I cant let go of people, i have a severe abandonment issue that has gone too far. My reality became so blurry, with so many people wanting things from me..cognitive distortions and people pleasing stemming from overwhelming guilt and shame and fear..living off defense mechanisms first..

Its like if ive done wrong to you, i feel I have to be punished and be exactly whoever to whomever person im involved with. Which that plays into daily life, i feel I always have to be how they want me to be, im HEAVILY influenced by the world and often times in bad ways, its a big reason i dont just live my life.. Not to say either that i dont have genuine emotions and love for literally anyone ive loved or even if they hurt me and are toxic, i won't leave. When something i cant handle happens, i look for an escape route maybe? But i know i don't actually want to leave or cut someone off..My feelings become caught in a bundle of wires, words become misdirected, impulsive and if i have a trauma bond with you, subconscious feelings and past events come screaming at my face, confusing my reality more, saying and doing things i shouldn't. All things ive tried so hard to heal from..i have so much love to give and I think overall just genuine connection is what im looking for..even if thats just as friends with whoever my sentiment gets the best of me too, i feel as if everything must mean something but thats just not true and its going to keep killing me if i think like that...that's the big question..

What does connection mean to me? What form do i want it in and how can i better understand how to communicate with my loved ones or future companions? Growing up it was always soulmate, marriage, kids, happy life but i dont think(as of right now, i do hope one day) that the typical life isn't for me..societys need to be perfect, to be perceived as happy and successful, forcing a life out of want oppose to need..i dont understand..

Maybe though..just maybe nothing can grow if you dont allow it to and thats a fault on me.."here comes the contradiction" lmao...*insert*

Could i just be honest and communicate how i properly feel? Yes..but with how my mental illness is, i dont know how i feel. Every thought, perspective, moral is just contradictory. Every second. Its a constant battle of not self destructing, hurting people, picking fights, loss of interest, feeling numb, thinking every is meant for a reason when its not that fucking serious. Its not just negative moods either. Happiness comes in big waves that feel uncomfortable, pleasure feels wrong, like i dont deserve it, in any form.

Im riddled with guilt and regrets..

I feel torn through out time, belonging to people from different points in my life, struggling to feel whole and until i do, especially when it comes to love, romance and building together.

I cant have those, it burns me out. I focus too much on them, then burn out which causes problems and personal anger, sadness, resentment in everyone involved..

I never understood i had a need for validation but oh god, how i understand now..I never understood cognitive distortion but oh god, how i understand now..i never understood how to truly express myself and my desires..but how i understand now..too late... Ironically.

My honest intentions questioned due to my lack of mental understanding, a lack of time perception, a lack of being able to sift through my emotions of how i truly feel, a lack of being able to realize i dont need to people please, a lack of realizing i dont have boundaries for myself or others, a lack of not being able to not self destruct, if i hurt or disappointed someone i feel i need to fix things and be someone that i actually dont really wanna be but i end up filling that role because i need to fix something or i just have a personality switch and im saying and doing things i really don't mean, its so polarizing and its no ones fault, its so much my fault....

I now realize i do not need to feel like i need to be punished..or that i dont deserve good things...The lack of not letting things be natural, not letting things just happen, always fear driven and being controlled by my defense mechanisms. This overwhelming guilt, shame and disgust i harbor in my heart of all the wrongs ive ever made, it all haunts me and im so familiar with it, its almost if thats all i will feel my life, as if thats what i subconsciously wanted...not needed..i didn't need this..but here i am..

#people pleaser #bpd thoughts #self healing #mental health #mental illness #therapy #literature #writing #venting #daily diary #cognitive distortions #avoidant

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dreamdripdistance · 10 months

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LET'S GET HARD FOR SHINEE (shinee's new comeback album review!!!!)

i love shinee so much lets fucking goe

hard: oh LETS FUCKING GO!!!!! sooooo retro, i love the interesting textures and everything, all the experimental samples make it soooo shinee to me, its like 'dont call me' but Expanded, i love it !!! the "WE GO, WE GO- WE GO HARD!" is SOOOO 'kick it' nct 127 lmao, but its soooo groovy and it sets up the mood of the album soooo well. getting hard with shinee in 2023 babey ‼️

juice: 10/10 SORRY THIS IS THE BEST SONG OF THE YEAR, i know this is gonna be such a polarising opinion but i love this so much. its SO FUN and SO SILLY i love the lil flip phone beep thing in the back of the post chorus "you got the, you got the juice", and the vocal samples all through the song r so fun, and the breakdown bit?? augh so groovy this song absolutely rules, you can absolutely tell how its produced by the same guy who did "dont call me" in their last cb lmao (im gonna have the "i think you liiiike me i think you liiiiike me-" stuck in my head)

10x: ohhhhh groovy... i dont know why but this didnt stick with me the first time i listened to it but i looooove the choppy piano, and the "ten times-" chorus is HEAVENLYYY . unfortunately it is vaguely similar enough to a song that plays all the time at my work, so i cant listen to it for very long without my body subconsciously revolting, but its SOOO GOOD

satellite: i thought the intro was gonna lead to something completely different? for some reason? i like this though!!! it almost feels like it couldve been a very basic slow K-Drama type song but then its shinee so its actually interesting lmao!!!

identity: ouuuUUU i really really like that low buzzing bass synth that goes through the song, its sooo chic and very sneaky sound system i like it!!!! the "my-y identity (i dont wanna hide it)" chorus is a bit meh but the "dont hide it, dont hide it" ost chorus is saur good, and the groovy intermission bit is so good, i love the disco influences too!!!

that feeling: not a fan of this, sounds like smth that would play on the top 50 from 2016 which was never my fave and sounds kinda basic, the vocals r sooo nice even if i haaate the horn thing thats in the instrumentals

like it: OUHH so sparkly, i really like this, it sounds like it should be in a movie credits? so so groovy, so summery, not to sound like a pretentious idiot but its soooo rich im gonna take a sip of this song.... the guitar solo near the end vaguely reminded me of an old homestuck fansong lmao?

sweet misery: VERY similar complaints as 'that feeling', its that genre of Emotional music that i personally dont like (the "sweeet misery" line in the chorus is very taylor swift to me, which. yknow. no comment.), but the production on this track is insane

insomnia: oh this is INTERESTING!!!! i looove the deep synthy intro going into the groovy bass in the verse and then opening up into the smooth jazzy chorus, this is such a good slower song and you can hearrrr how good the vocals are... its got really interesting aspects in it that kind of differentiate it from similar songs, esp the really nice piano-y bits

gravity: this makes sense for a final song on an album but tbh this is what i feared satellite was gonna be? i like the chorus though, but the 'snapping' verse was never my thing

all in all this album is SO GOOD, it has a consistent thesis and theme as is expected of shinee but its still so so so fun and so extra and im so so so excited to see them active again <333 its almost like a return to form in a Cool way, which i love ‼️‼️‼️

#words #kpop #shinee

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oofuri2003 · 1 year

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🌻 can i ask about mcr influence on ur work or

OOOOOOOOO of course! Idt I've ever talked about AWM on this blog but whatever I subject people here to just about anything

gosh....the first and most obvious influence is the fact that the bar fight i wrote marisol getting into was directly a result of listening to vampire money too many times when I was in an AWM mood. pick a fight at an airport bar! and i was like. I think marisol needs to pick a barfight RIGHT now. it fit well anyway and was something I needed to show off some aspects of her character and it just felt like it worked well with the themes and narrative so I slapped it in there. thank you vampire money <3

a lot of the influence comes from pure vibes and also part coincidence in that I can't tell if I was subconsciously soaking up some danger days vibes and bleeding them into the story or if i wrote up the story and then had a danger days revival and realized all the similarities. it was honestly probably a feedback loop - AWM already had danger days vibes about it, I added a bunch of danger days songs to the playlist and listened to them a lot, wrote a lot more and got influenced by it, cycle repeats. and I think it was really good for me creatively!

a lot of danger days influence is on marisol specifically since the album sort of has a...how would i word it. vehicle oriented lyric style in a lot of cases. and she's a podracer and has a motorbike so it just ends up fitting well LOL i cant slow down i wont be waiting for you! i feel like listening to the album helped me flesh out her character a lot....the songs just help me see visions for her that i might otherwise not have!

bulletproof heart especially to me is suuuuch an AWM song it fits so so so well. two girls on the run, one of them can fly and the other is a podracer who can fly in her own right, gravity dont mean too much to me! how can they say [eleleth] could you come back home? everybody knows you dont ever wanna come back let me be the one to save you. tears are streaming down my face

ooohhhh ive left this story alone for too long i need to go give her some attention RIGHT NOW!!!

#i dont think this even answered your question im sorry. ilu tho <3 #anyone wondering what the fuck im talking about here: my novel wip abide with me i post abt it on a diff blog #i need a new pinned on that blog. woops

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beetlestuck · 1 year

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FINALLY ALL TROLLS DONE. Honestly this took too long. But here they are, all my fantrolls in one place. Many years of Roleplays has spawned many of these fuckers. The fankids are next + couple bonus characters. I will be posting more art and things about this bunch as time comes. until then, have little blurbs about my favorites to get to know them:

Briose Lantic: (she/Her) Young Heiress, full of energy. She loves a good challenge and hates being told what to do, hates math even more.

Ashtar Donner: (She/they) Sonic the Hedgehog kin (gotta go fast), weak psionics but thankfully enough to use to her advantage. Hopelessly falls in love with any edgy/anime-esque boy

Karmiz Isopre: (He/Him) my personal favorite, hemophobic but in the literal sense he cant stand the sight or smell of blood, a very bad clown but is INSITANT that he is the scariest and meanest purpleblood out there (compensating much?) sad boy moods, please join his emo band, unfortunately is friends with Sadelo

Sadelo Purper: (He/him) Has the biggest god Complex of them all, likes people who listen and follow him, trying to make his own religion cause why not, has plenty of connections, Mansplain Manipulate Malewife, obsessive, is red crushing on Valino

Lillee Bittea: (she/her) -

Emeryn Lashur: (she/her) -

Bassra Horrog: (she/her) -

Valino Dulcis: (She/they) Too sweet for her own good but isn't easily to manipulate she just gives too many second chances, likes to believe the best in people, Always knows more than she lets on, trying to get close to Karmiz since she sees though his whole clown facade and wants to know what he is really like

Pozoia Svarti: (he/him) -

Koldar Greahm: (He/they) if you think about it everything is just meat, hes a butcher with a weird fascination of keeping things in jars, for the love of god stay away from him, will do anything you ask of them, unironic enjoyer of bad reality TV shows so you just know hes fucked up

Zenekt Tonjet: (she/her) Social media WIZARD, behind the scenes manager for many highbloods including the Heiress, always on that damn phone, you will never get the chance to talk over her, knows how to put anyone down

Krerot Fulger: (She/her) ex-war fanatic, now more of a mechanic with a side job of making weapons, trying to get out of her shell, big daydreamer

Poulpe Lantic: (They/Them) They know they look good but tell them anyways, social media influencer because they have nothing better to do, locked away in their castle due to overprotective lusus, flirts but doesnt really mean it, needs a trustworthy friend

Tersee Empye: (she/her) GOTHS against CLOWNS leader, Hates clowns like omg why are they so shitty, dont even fucking try her, loves a good rave/party, palemates forever with Mortza, in a redrom relationship with Merrah

Mortza Vivant: (she her) GOTHS against CLOWNS second in command, she's kindhearted and keeps an eye out for those close to her, is a follower and not much of a leader, doesnt hate all clowns just most of them, Crushing hard on a certain bronze clownboy

Lesich Sestri: (he/they) -

Felais Barbre: (she/they) -

Laurie Halsee: (she/her) -

Andson Grassa: (he/him) charitable man, runs a small organization to give unfortunate trolls a second chance at life, attempts to keep trolls from being culled or used, strong as fuck, still a softie

Gagore Ampoid: (They/He) dirty greasy motherfucker, unhinged con man, will bite, lazy, Just treat him like a dangerous pet and they will be happy

Merrah Patron: (He/they/She) Badass biker, can party for days straight, quadrant terrorist, will break hearts diamonds spades and every in between, its not you they are just a free spirit and honestly afraid of commitment, currently dating Tersee

Techul Elajah: (they/them) -

Mantis Zirkus: (he/Him) ringleader of Calamity Circus, he takes in lost and helpless trolls and uses them for profit in exchange of keeping them safe, Dont fucking call him short you will end up scorched, his chucklevoodoos is Pyrokinesis which helps set the mood for his circus and gets him respect, Has made plenty of enemies, Bovino is his Kismesis

Bovino Marone: (he/him) animal wrangler for Calamity Circus, sort of second in command, loves to push buttons, doesnt like the spotlight he leaves that for every one else, he also takes good care of the crew when Mantis needs help

Adarra Timbre: (he/they) Main Jester for the Calamity Circus, youngest of the crew, nearly culled by the Heiress saved by the circus, can tell a good joke or two mostly, hes cute give him all your money

Ignisa Espurn: (she/her) acrobat for Calamity Circus, another soul saved by Mantis, Psionics + death defying acts = the big bucks, after the show she's usually by herself, trying to save money to get a better life but is unsure the Circus will be willing to let her go

Ballon Diocis: (she/her) Fortune teller for the Calamity Circus, been here since the beginning, Her chucklevoodoos aid her in mindreading which allows her to 'predict' some ones future by just telling them what they want to hear, She loves to gossip, keeps the others in line while telling Mantis all the going ons amongst the crew -* i will add more to these characters later

#homestuck #homestuck oc #me trolls #omg hiii *dies*

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