#i feel like i’m gonna lose it

[chrisevansonly]

i genuinely am starting to wonder if i’m going down the right path….do i become a lawyer? or do i just say fuck it and go paralegal? i’m studying my ass off for the LSAT’s but I just don’t think i’m gonna do well, and i’m doubting i’ll get into law school, but maybe i’m just overthinking?

i’m just losing my mind 😃😃

and i feel like i need to rant here because i don’t think anyone will understand 🥹

anyway there’s andy to make myself feel like i’m actually doing what i’m supposed to be doing 🙃

#chrisevans #chrisevansxreader #andybarber x reader #andy barber #i don’t know what i’m doing anymore #i feel like i’m gonna lose it

[wherewolf]

the responses i’ve seen to shiv’s ending seem very quick to write her off as just another sad victim of the cycle, which isn’t without truth BUT!!! that is not even remotely the summation of shiv’s story.

i don’t think she votes yes to “save kendall” or to try to finally set her brothers free. and i don’t think her main concern was that ken was becoming their dad. she absolutely noticed and didn’t love it, but that was not her motivation in betraying him. she was thinking about herself.

it’s tempting to make a martyr out of her as she is the only female child and we see her suffer the onslaught of misogyny that comes with that. but to make her into a saintlike figure who got beat takes away the power and intelligence behind her decision.

at this point she’s stuck between two non ideal choices, but she recognizes that they have accidentally made her the single most important player in the game. because while she can’t have the outcome she’d prefer, she has the power to decide the fates of everyone else. the written off lone woman now holds in her hands the fate of every man in her life.

so she thinks about the long term benefits of both options and realizes that one side leaves her completely without any leverage.

her brothers have proven to her multiple times in the last few days alone that they will cut her out and walk all over her the first chance they get. siding with them leaves her nothing to bargain with. she would just have to hope that ken would actually take care of her. and that level of vulnerability is not only unacceptable to her, it’s stupid. and shiv fuckin roy is not stupid.

so she thinks about the other side and about what she actually wants for her life. and against her better judgment, it’s becomes unfortunately clear that she wants tom. the way she wants him is not altogether loving or even good but it is necessary to her. she sees relationships as having winners and losers and she chose this man specifically so that she could be confident in her ability to win. except now he’s grown some balls and made himself unavailable to her.

she may not like the way her husband is evolving but she already placed her bets on him, so she’s sure as hell not losing to him now. there’s also a part of her that feels intrigued by this new man she’s married to. it’s interesting to have a sparring partner in him instead of having to looking for excitement outside of their marriage.

so for maybe the first time ever, she processes what tom has said to her and thinks about what he actually wants.

he needs her to prove that she cares. he needs to know that she is capable of sacrifice. if she can’t find it within herself to do this for him, then she will lose him, and by extension, she will lose.

siding with tom gives her the opportunity to once and for all make a grand-stand gesture of love, but more importantly, it creates leverage for her. never again will he be able to hold the moral high ground over her head. never again can he say she doesn’t love him. never again can he call her selfish or uncaring. above all, he can never betray her again, because she just removed all of his moral justification for turning on her. he doesn’t realize it yet, but she’s just taken back all the power in their relationship. just in a more subtle way than she’s used to operating.

and just like that, she has the ceo of a multi billion dollar company in her pocket, while situating herself as the only descendant of logan roy to still be playing the game, having removed her brothers from the equation permanently. she may still be far from the top but she’s creating a path for herself to climb.

so yes, she’ll let tom play king for a day, and she’ll have his baby and say “congratulations,” and play the gracious wife, but tomorrow is a new day with lots of room to maneuver. and when her husband puts out his hand, she’ll place her own on top. but she won’t grasp it because she doesn’t need to.

#🐺 #shivy’s gonna be just fine #okay this ended up being a very long post but #i feel like someone needed to point out her wins #also i’m fully aware that remaining in the toxic world of the family business is not a win rly but #i think her ending is being interpreted as powerlessness #which it is NOT #she chose her spot. she’s calling shots #she may not have won today but she sure as hell didn’t lose #let’s not work so hard to sanctify her that we remove everything about her that makes her such a brilliant character #succession #shiv roy #siobhan roy #scn #tv

[blue-mood-blue]

I have been thinking about the blackening (as one does)…

…and it’s so interesting to me, the penalty Shen Qingqiu is faced with should he not decide to yeet his disciple into hell.

Account termination. Instant death. Sent directly home to his already-long-dead body, and that’s it for the villain of the piece who outright refuses his villainy. The protagonist needs a blackening for the story to continue, and Shen Qingqiu is going to provide it or get written out of the narrative. Either way, Luo Binghe is going to lose him. Either way, this is a turning point.

I wouldn’t claim that this is the intent of the penalty, but it fascinates me that the System has, potentially, backed the plotline into a corner - because Binghe still stands to be blackened even if Shen Qingqiu took the other choice.

Think about what that would look like, to him. He’s at the Immortal Alliance Conference, and everything is going wrong. He’s been outed as a demon, and not just a demon - the top tier of demon, as bad as it gets from the perspective of a righteous cultivator. His beloved teacher, the person who has been kindest to him and opened his home and heart to him, is standing there with his sword in hand, deciding what he’s going to do about what must look, to him, like a horrific betrayal. Binghe is apologizing. Binghe is begging for his life.

Shen Qingqiu hears him. Maybe it shows on his face, or in his voice, that he already knew; maybe there’s no hint at all, but Shen Qingqiu is suddenly talking quickly with an abrupt sense of urgency that Luo Binghe is having a hard time keeping up with. Telling him he’ll be wonderful - telling him he’s the best. Telling him the world will be his, with emotions cracking through that aloof mask that Binghe has never seen on Shizun’s face before, and it’s terrifying for reasons that Binghe cannot identify.

(He will, later. When he has time to think, he’ll realize it sounded like a goodbye.)

And then Shen Qingqiu is bleeding. And then Shen Qingqiu is on the ground. And then Shen Qingqiu is dead. There’s no countdown for Binghe - there’s no System, there’s no warning, there’s no answers.

Luo Binghe is a heavenly demon in the middle of a conference sabotaged by demons. Luo Binghe is alone. His fellow competing disciples are scattered, some dead or injured. The Peak Lord of Qing Jing Peak, the second in command of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, maybe the only person he loved and who loved him back, is dead at his feet. No one will believe him if he says it isn’t his fault.

(He can’t believe it isn’t his fault.)

What choice does he have but to run? The last heavenly demon the cultivation world went up against has been sealed under a mountain for years, and one of the people responsible for that is probably looking for Shen Qingqiu already. They’ll be looking for him, too. There isn’t anywhere to hide; there isn’t any time to mourn.

There isn’t even enough time to ask why. Why again.

There is no closure waiting for him, because there is nothing to explain what happened. It just is.

It would be a different kind of blackening, certainly - less intense, probably, less of a warping, desperate thing. But how many times can one person have all the love and safety in their world torn out from under them before it starts to show? Before they just don’t allow things like love and safety to touch them, because that’s the better option?

Interesting to consider that, simply by offering the choices it did, the System rigged the story to guarantee that Luo Binghe would end up in hell (deliberate or not).

Interesting to consider that, even if Shen Qingqiu made what might have seemed like a kinder choice, there was every chance it wouldn’t have been.

#scum villian self saving system #svsss #shen qingqiu #luo binghe #I have been thinking about Alternative Blackening Methods #(for reasons) #(don’t worry about it) #and while I don’t think it would be on the same level as the endless abyss #I think suddenly losing his Shizun would fuck Binghe up #especially like that with no explanation right in front of him?? #like #he is not gonna be okay #and then he’s stuck in a realm filled to the BRIM with cultivators after his blood #maybe it’s not THE blackening but it is A blackening #and it gives me feelings #because even if sqq was willing to make that sacrifice I’m not convinced that would have… helped Binghe #(also au where sqq somehow has the mushroom body ready to go before the conference) #(and Binghe unexpectedly encounters his Shizun in the wild) #(and they run away together in the most ill-conceived escape plan known to man)

[r0semultiverse]

Okay, we’re only one episode in, but if you like the premise of The Boys & you like anime, I think you’ll enjoy Go Go Loser Ranger!

Smooth animation, a somewhat unique art style, & a twist on the sentai genre! Please check it out!

#really enjoying it so far #not much clue as to what’s happening but humanity’s heroes are really not so great #the monsters have nothing to lose but their chains #I’m curious to see how D is gonna go about his goals #also love the way his eyes look & how the other characters’ eyes look #I feel like there’s meaning behind it idk what yet #it’s like if the boys show met power rangers; it’s cool so far #ranger reject #go go loser ranger #both are correct titles?? #mine #op

[cattoru]

SHINICHI TURNING DOWN THE POPULAR IT GIRL WITHOUT HESITATION BECAUSE HE SAYS HE HAS SOMEONE HE’S BEEN FOND OF EVER SINCE HE WAS LITTLE AND THEN PROCEEDING TO ACT LIKE A GROSS LOVER BOY BLUSHING OVER IT IM RIPPING MY HAIR OUT

#SHINRAN MY BELOVEDDDDD #THE WAY RAN IS SO AIRHEADED WHEN IT COMES TO ANYTHING REGARDING SHINICHI’S FEELINGS FOR HER THEY’RE SO UNSERIOUS #GUYS I AM EATING THIS SHIT UPPPP LIKE IM LOSING MY DAMN MIND #THEY’RE SOOOOO SWEET IM GONNA CHEW GLASS #anyway being a first time detco watcher is so fun . i’m being so Normal about this. Clearly (lips bleeding) (bald spots) (burnt walls) #chattoru #detco #detco101 #shinran #shinichi #ran

[bitfruity]

i have never been so obsessed and in love with a man before in my life

like as a teenager i liked bands and thought some members were kinda cute but NOTHING has prepared me for the teenage girl in my 20’s level infatuation i have for this man

and then he had the AUDACITY to bring another one into the mix

words cannot explain the amount of gender envy tommy gives me do i want him or do i want to be him?? i look at some pictures of him and go THATS ME THATS HOW I SEE MYSELF

#WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?? #IS THIS JUST WHAT YOUR 20S ARE LIKE? #I AM DOWN BAD #i thought i skipped all this #i never understood all the girls that obsessed over celeb men #but now i get it!! #i kinda feel like i’m losing my mind #this 30 year old man is the only reason i smile #like when did that happen?? #tommy got me feeling some type of way #i cant quite explain it but he’s changed something in my brain #i am not the person i was before listening to racked #the amount of gender envy he gives me is unmatched #am i even a girl idk anymore #I AM SCREAMING INTO THE VOID #käärijä #tommy cash #fruity thoughts #i made this at 2am last night in a feverish state but i’m still gonna post it

[evasive-anon]

So who had a B Plot in Gotham War being a second custody battle over Jason but by the Joker and Scarcrow on their bingo sheets??? Cause not me.

I can’t get off this fucking roller coaster with Gotham War, WTF did I just read????

#batjokes shippers are gonna be losing it over the joker calling himself mommy I just know it #gotham war spoilers #gotham war part 6 #gotham war part vi #gotham war red hood 2 #the gotham war #the gotham war red hood #red hood #the joker #scarecrow #jonathan crane #jason todd #i’m back in the fucking building again #I feel like I just actually just blue screened even though the plot actually built to it happening I still can’t believe it anyway #gotham war #oc #original post

[frnkiebby]

i have absolutely no words for this.

i have…..many~🎃

#jfc #why is he like this #i’m just #brb just gonna go lie in my grave now #with some snacks my phone and just fucking lose my shit #because i am dead #this frimage #this #bucciaratibugs has killed me #this is it #and it’s such a stupid regular pic of getting a tattoo #but that leg #i feel like an old victorian man who just got a peek of some random woman’s ankle #ggoooodddddddddff #frnkiebby #bucciaratibugs #frank iero #mcr #frnkiero #mcrmy #frnkie #mcr5 #my chemical romance #my chem #ilhsm

[emry-stars-art]

@anon-lemon with this ask and the resulting one shot: I also think freshwater merDrew is pretty hehe, the fish I based him off of is a peacock bass (maybe specifically royal peacock bass? With the more blue fin idk) but more dramatic. Like so:

(This is him in perfect nice lighting under shallow water probably but shh he’s beautiful)

Reference pictures I used under the cut

I love mixing and matching references. Idc what I heard growing up, life CAN be a buffet and I CAN a pick my favorite parts to mash together sometimes 😌

#sumii #if you draw smth for this #whether or not you use this as inspiration or to help #I might cry #I am a simple and fragile person #I see an art style I adore #learn the artist is also wonderful #and then get art made inspired by my stuff #and I’ll lose it in the best possible way #oh side note. the urge to make Andrew’s eyes all fisheye looking and blood red was. there #may have to digitally go back and try it bc that’d be freaky lol #but back on topic #this lil guy like 2-3 ft long swimming around the river hiding in the rocks #eating out of Neil’s hands #I’m gonna have to doodle him again specifically so I can give him m&ms #and also do a size scale #just out of curiosity lol #feels good to be very happy with my line work for once #im stopping while I’m ahead here #I definitely went for all look no substance in this design #don’t ask me any questions about where these fish live what they eat or what they do #I don’t know 💕 #anway #fan art #my art #aftg #all for the game #andrew minyard #freshwater #mer au

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

I've been thinkin' too many thoughts about the clones recently...anyways...

If it had never been acknowledged in universe…I think I might’ve been able to ignore how unbelievably fucked up the whole clone army concept is

I might’ve been able to accept it as just a convenient plot point for the republic to have an army to use

That’s what most stories do…they use a faceless army of “disposable” soldiers so that viewers don’t get too upset when so many die in battles

It’s what keeps those stories from feeling too dark

Hell, the stormtroopers from the OT are one of the most famous examples of that

But the thing is…it is acknowledged in universe

Multiple characters on multiple occasions have pointed the fucked-up-ness of it all

Even Obi-Wan in the AOTC novel is kinda horrified at the concept when he sees the clones for the first time

And it’s soooo hard to look past that

Especially with the jedi…I find it so hard to accept that the jedi are able to just ignore and accept it once the army proves to be useful

And like, yeah, when I look at star wars as a whole I understand that a lot of inconsistencies like this are just an inevitability with massive franchises

But it gets super frustrating to hold onto my suspension of disbelief capabilities when these problems are literally mentioned to and acknowledged by the jedi

Especially because I mostly love the jedi

#I just have to remember that ‘just because’ is a perfectly okay reason for stuff in fiction #that not every thing that happens can be completely rational or else there wouldn’t be a story #If I don’t then I’ll constantly be getting in my own way #stopping myself from enjoying things that are supposed to be fun #Anyways I’m gonna go back to watching tcw now #and gaslight myself into believing that the clones have rights so I can keep supporting the jedi :) #but like seriously #millions of SENTIENT HUMAN BEINGS being engineered and grown in a lab #with the specific purpose of fighting in a war that they have absolutely ZERO say in #and the reason they’re seen as better than the NON SENTIENT droids is because they can think creatively #aka THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE THEIR OWN MINDS AND THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS #and they literally have no choice but to fight in this war #not okay #at all #okay I'm gonna stop now or I'll lose my mind #btw I know the jedi weren't responsible for all that #but for the most part they were okay with and/or ignored that whole clones have no autonomy thing #:/ #star wars #sw the clone wars #the clone wars #sw clones #sw gar #kamino #aotc #attack of the clones #obi wan kenobi #stormtroopers #clone troopers #jedi

[mangk0]

I just think it’s really interesting that whenever Atreus shapeshifts SPECIFICALLY when he is out of control (example when freya attacks kratos or when he sees the ironwood paintings) the latter half of the Jotunheim theme plays, almost like he’s more Loki than Atreus in those moments

EDIT adding on that whenever he intentionally shapeshifts it plays HIS OWN THEME (example the race w angrboda or when he saves sindri during ragnarok). When he is more familiar with and in control of his own magic it plays his theme because in those moments it truly feels like his magic is HIS, not just Giant magic, and Atreus and Loki are the same person

#gowr #atreus #not mil #god of war ragnarok #I feel like everyone knows this but I’m still gonna lose my shit over it #IM SO NORMAL ABOUT THIS OH MY GOD #is there anyone out there #staring at the floor with a faint buzzing sound in my brain

[fernisfat]

at the hospital right now because i tried to pick up a gallon of milk and something in my wrist just like….snapped? so that’s cool and fun 🙃

#i swear if it’s broken I’m gonna lose it lmao #fern whispers #it feels like just a sprain or maybe a dislocation hopefully 🤞🏻

[juxtaposed-nerd]

i am FINALLY caught up on dndads season 2 and if willy stampler touches a SINGLE HAIR ON CASSANDRA SWIFT’S HEAD HES GONNA HAVE TO ANSWER TO ME

#dungeons and daddies #dndads season 2 #cassandra swift #taylor swift dndads #i feel like cassandra is a good target bc of her proximity to willy #rebecca oak swallows garcia #i’m so sorry girl #but literally if anything else happens to the close foster swift line i’m gonna lose it #excluding hermie ig #which is the theme of the season

[thedvilsinthedetails]

goodnight tumblr

Fair warning the ramble in the tags is long af

#Quick thought before I drop dead from tiredness #I love my friends #and I kind of #I really love my life right now #Which is weird bc it’s actually really stressful time and I’m not really doing well but #I have friends #Good friends #and my blog #and I feel like a person again #I feel like I’m finally getting back to ‘me’ if I hadn’t been ‘best friends’ with a toxic bitch #She basically shredded my self esteem #Two years of that shit messed me up man #Not to mention my mother #But I think I’ve gotten to the point where I’m able to separate that shit from who I actually AM yk #And man I fucking love my friends #Both on and offline #But irl/in school friendships were something I was struggling with #And #yk it was fucking worth the wait #I love them so much #im so #fucking fucking glad I know them #Yeah #Of course I’m petrified of losing them like everyone else #But for once I don’t THINK I will #I’m not going into this with some morbid sense of doom #My ‘six month expiry’ date is not gonna expire bc im manifesting my way thru this shit #Anyway goodnight sorry for the ramble

[greg-montgomery]

hug from aaron?

#besties i swear september is just not my month idk #like what the fuck #i’m kinda going through it #not kinda I Am going through it #i’m gonna rant a bit #i’m at work all day #leaving my house at 7am and returning around 9pm #and it’s so stressful i’m constantly anxious with a weight on my chest #and feeling not appreciated for all the things i do there #my grandma is very very sick (she’s like a mom to me) and i don’t even wanna think about losing her #i lost my other three grandparents in the span of a year - and it hasn’t even been a year yet since the first one we lost #and now i’m gonna lose my grandma who has literally raised me #i’m tired i just want a calm and peaceful fall #it’s all i wanted