#i guess maybe i don’t completely suck at art

[hanasnx]

baby daddy jason for when the one parent-teacher conference the sweet unassuming teachers like “mrs. Todd” and you’re “uhhh we’re not married”, but Jason, despite not being up to the commitment, likes the idea. He definitely would not correct the teacher like you immediately would.

Actually idk where I was going with this I had an idea but then it kinda stopped soz

MINORS DNI 18+

You’re not even sure how it happened. In your opinion, it’s best that BABY DADDY!JASON TODD stay far away from you and your daughter. Maybe he sifted through your mail the last time he snuck in, maybe he intercepted your calls, maybe he followed her to school to add himself to her emergency contacts—all completely feasible when dealing with someone so meticulously thorough and annoyingly committed. You’re face to face with him outside your daughter’s teacher’s door.

“What are you doing here?” you seethe in a whisper, avoiding a scene.

Jason’s face twists in feigned confusion, pointing to the flyer on the wall. He reads out its words as his finger follows along, “‘Parent teacher conference.’” He points to himself finally. “Parent.” A smug curl forms on his lips, standing tall in outsmarting you even though it’s not what you asked.

Your nostrils flare as you suck in a breath. Unfortunately, Jason is exceptional at getting on your nerves. You wonder how he managed knocking you up. Advancing on him, he mirrors you, meeting you in the middle as you engage him, “Jason, I don’t want you here—“

The door swings open, and you jump in place, leaning away abruptly. Jason coolly inclines back, shoving his hands in his pockets, he’s got nothing to hide. Your daughter’s teacher greets you both with a cheerful grin, beckoning you in. “You made it! Come on in, come on in.” You exchange a warning glance with Jason, but you clutch your purse strap and duck in while he trails leisurely after.

The meeting goes well, the teacher rants and raves about your daughter, especially about her art skills, showcasing that talent with pictures of it. You open your mouth to speak, but Jason beats you to it, “Takes after her mother, huh? What do you know?” he says with pride, and you witness a genuine grin on his lips as he leans forward to take a closer look at the mess of glitter and stickers in the teacher’s hands.

Your heart skips a beat, and you fiddle with your hands in your lap. One reason you try to stay away from Jason is because of times like these. Makes you second guess your decision to end things with him, and that’s exactly what’s most dangerous.

“So, Mrs. Todd—“ the teacher’s voice breaks you from your stupor, gaze snapping up to her as you furrow your brows.

“Oh, we’re not married.” you object, interrupting her starkly, and she flushes, setting the artwork down with a nervous smile.

“Oh! My mistake. You two just seem so close…”

Jason sighs, raising an arm to wrap around the back of your chair. “Well, not yet.” he says with certainty, and you turn your attention to him, glancing at his arm placement and how the sleeve of his biker jacket brushes your hair. His hand cups your shoulder, which you stare at, and glare when he starts stroking your skin with his thumb. What makes you the most angry is not the entitlement to touch you—which he’s always had—but how he’s clearly messing with you on purpose. This is just like his brand of cruelty, embarrassing you further in a social situation. You tune out whatever crap he’s telling the teacher about the fake wedding and you peel his arm away from you, shoving it back into his lap.

“No, that’s not happening.” you object again, harsher this time and Jason merely scoffs through his nose as you deal with the poor confused teacher.

After the meeting, you’re practically corralled out of that room bickering. You somehow end up on the back of his bike instead of in the car you drove here. Somehow, further, letting him inside your place. Shouting over each other about how inconsiderate he is, and how serious you are, curtly removing your outerwear.

“Would it really be that bad?” he yells, that loud voice that gets you weak in the knees booming through your apartment. You’re lucky your babysitter still has your daughter. “Being married to me, would it really be that bad?”

“It’s not about that, Jason! You know that!”

Your objections are drowned out in how his big body herds you into your bedroom, how his hands push you down to rip off your jeans. How he palms your mouth to shut you up while he’s kissing on your neck, clumsily searching for the give in between your legs. His tip eases in as you lazily bat at his hefty shoulders and thick biceps. “Don’t wanna be Mrs. Todd, huh?” You relax under him the longer he’s inside you, rutting into you with patience as you jerk your head away from him. “What’s wrong with that? Don’t want my name? Don’t wanna be a happy little family?”

Your fist bangs against his rotator cuff and he laughs, husky and light in your ear. His teeth latch onto your lobe, playfully tugging on it while he bottoms out, and you emit a noise from your throat.

“Mrs. Todd,” he chides, “So wet for your husband. S’almost like you want it.”

#indy shoots the shit #thanks for the msg!! #anon #[🃏] #indy: drabbles #ch: baby daddy!jason #jason todd drabble #jason todd smut #jason todd x reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd x you #jason todd x y/n #jason todd imagine #jason todd fic #jason todd fanfiction #baby daddy!jason #baby daddy jason todd #red hood smut #red hood x reader #reader insert

[a-998h]

Heyyy I’m here to bother youuuuuuh😊

Anyway, I don’t know if you’ve seen the ask yet about certain characters ages and {Reader} calling them old and stuff, but if you do that request I would like to add smth and reacting to their ages, I would recommend reading that one first then this one

Basically when the readers like “You’re still gon’ be here even when I die” and then they just smile and joke about it- just go check out the request I sent lol-

But what if {Reader} figured out some of the characters were ‘puppets’ and they were like “Why are you being a coward? Just show your true self!”

Because wanderer is like a puppet right? But I don’t know if it’s the same situation as EI

Also another scenario where some of the characters try to pick up {Reader} and they just can’t (magic mfs)

But reader can easily like lift up ZHONGLI- Or maybe to some sassy characters liek Wanderer(if he’s sassy idk) or like Tighnari (same goes for him, idrk)

And another thing, {Reader} would ABSOLUTELY judge the crap outta some all the characters clothing choices- especially the ones that fight

So they’ll like go up to Itto and be like “Where’s the rest of your shirt?” And if he says something egotistical/ or compliments himself (If that’s what his character is even like💀 If not just choose another character I guess) and {Reader} would respond with “Yeah well you ego seems way bigger than your build”

Or for like EI they would be like “Why doesn’t the kimono cover the some of your chest?” Or for Xiao they would be like “Do you even have a shirt on or is it see through-“ and for Zhongli it would be “How can you even fight in a suit? It looks so tight and uncomfortable, and what’s the point of the bottom part of your suit being shredded? (The part where his suit splits into parts at the end) and basically every other character who fights yet their outfits are completely unpractical

And {Reader} wears like very baggy clothing and Japanese sandals

And also how they fight is instead of using powers- they just hella skilled with like martial arts, like they’ll just swipe some characters off their feet, and like elbow some in the stomach😭 and like instead of teleporting they’re just so fast and they jump off trees like a crazy lil shit-

And this is also really random, but imagine the characters are playing hide-n-seek with {Reader} and no one could find them until EI looks up and SOMEHOW {READER} MANAGED TO CLING TO THE CEILING (IN LIKE A SPIDERMAN POSITION TOO-) AND THEYRE JUST LIKE- “You guys suck at Hide-n-seek”

Anyway if you could combine this request with the other one where it talks more about certain characters ages and like how reader reacted to it and stuff, taht would be greatttttt🙃🙃🙃

Hope you have a good dayyyy!

-🍉Anon

okay let's break this down. 🍉 Anon, I love your enthusiasm but please calm down a bit, one idea at a time.

You become a fashion critic to them. I love the character designs but jesus christ , some of them are so impractical. You offer them advice on how to make their outfits more practical and whether or not they listen to you is not your problem. Your constantly begging Itto to put on a shirt. You're just confused by the whole boob sword open chest kimono thing with Ei.

They're all very proud of your skills. And while some think someone your age shouldn't need to learn this. They accept it and deal with it in their own way. Some are absolutely terrified of you. Some just think you need training and others genuinely question how you got this strong.

Ei would try and dismiss your concerns over her "true self". As time goes on if she ever decides to leave the plane of Euthymia one of the first things she'll do is look for you. Wanderer will scoff and tell you this is his true self. Then you would probably throw a few jokes. His way and your petty fighting will start all over again.

Zhongli and Tighnari are impressed by the fact that you managed to left them while no one could lift you. When lifting Wanderer... You essentially become his personal carry person until someone scolds him and takes him away from you.

In hide-and-seek no matter who you're playing with. Everyone gets really nervous when they can't find you. They check in all the typical spots. And then they find you up a tree or something. Some of the characters freak out because my precious baby is in a tree and others. Just questioned how you got up there in the first.

#genshin fanfic #cult au #sagau #sagau lore #creator!reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

[olderthannetfic]

I do think the disclaimers from authors about NOT ENDORSING!!!! certain behaviors in fics is pretty funny, but I’ll admit I do it too. Oddly I only put warnings for abuse of the self, not the abuse of others. I write a fair bit of fic that “romanticizes” (or seems like it does) suicide/self harm/eating disorders to the point where it can almost be a tutorial of how to do it if I’m graphic enough. So in those I normally just add dead dove tags and put a disclaimer about how the trigger warning is no joke and you shouldn’t do the things that the characters do in the fic. It’s not like a Lifetime Movie end credits where the authors note is filled with hotlines and stuff, just a quick little note that, hey, yeah, if you’re considering this, don’t do it.

Oddly, I don’t think that behavior comes from fandom itself but rather from a completely different corner of the internet — when I struggled with the same stuff that I write about, it was pretty common for everyone’s bio to say that they “don’t promote” or they’re “not pro” and I guess old habits die hard. (Whether or not certain types of depression/SH/ana blogs etc really DONT promote or those words are just a please-don’t-ban-me card is a completely different discussion.)

It’s pretty ironic actually because when I’m on the other side of things (as the reader), reading about it is really cathartic in fic, but triggering (not in a fun way) in “real” books. Like there’s several books I had to DNF or shelf because it got to be too much, but oddly enough fic actually helps me a lot.

WOW that was all way heavier than I intended to get when I first started typing this ask! But yeah, that’s my own personal relationship to “I do not endorse” and I didn’t realize how odd it actually is until I started reading some of these other asks! I don’t think any type of “this is bad, actually” authors note is ever necessary honestly, but I also don’t think they’re that big of a deal — if a note from the writer about how they’re ~totally against the “bad” thing they’re writing about~ really takes you out of the fic that much, I don’t understand that either…it’d be one thing if they rambled on and on but even then I don’t think it’s that big of a deal 🤣 Annoying maybe but no one is required to read the AN.

My general threshold is “would a movie/podcast/real™️ book have a similar Viewer Discretion Adviced notice? If so, your A/N is likely fine and not virtual signal-ly or OTT at all.”

--

Heh. I think you're assuming a very different type of PSA from what other people are.

From what I've read, self-harm, suicide, and disordered eating are some of the topics that are a bit Monkey See, Monkey Do. Even support group discussions may increase the desire to cut, for example. It's still not 1:1, and we should be able to make art about serious topics, but a PSA doesn't feel totally absurd here. There are plenty of scientific studies showing measurable increases in people hurting themselves IRL after consuming certain material. Even if you did include a hotline, most people's objection is like "That number isn't valid for where I live", not "No one should ever do this".

I think if you polled people, you'd find that many of the PSA-haters are actually totally fine with "Hey, this fic contains serious depictions of mental illness. Make sure you're up for that today." and similar warnings.

But what people are actually talking about in 99% of "PSAs suck" discussions is rape fantasies.

Some clown writes a fic that is blatant fap material for people who like bodice ripper ravishment, and then they plaster it with "Rape Fantasies Bad" commentary that shows that they're judging themselves and their readers in a puritanical way that's a mega-buzzkill, completely out of keeping with the tone of the fic, and completely out of keeping with the actual scientific evidence.

Rape fantasies are commonplace and not a big deal, and to the extent that any depictions are demonstrably harmful, it's things like mainstream Hollywood movies reinforcing very standard cultural narratives, not somebody's sex pollen fic that's probably full of "It's so wrong, so why is it so hot???" anyway.

[maturemenoftvandfilms]

The Prince Consort of Denmark

CHAPTER TWO: The Vineyard in the South of France

Featuring Henrik, Prince Consort of Denmark

I worked at a private vineyard in the South of France, Château de Caïx, owned by Prince Henrik, the French-born husband of Danish monarch Queen Margrethe. Back in early 2002, Prince Henrik had some kind of drama and fled to his chateau to spend some time away from the royal family ‘to reflect on life’, where he would stay for a few weeks. What little I knew of the 68-year-old prince was that he had a reputation as a bon vivant who enjoyed cooking, poetry, art and wine. A typical royal doing typical royal things. And while working around the vineyard, I soon began to realize that prince was always around, either in the vineyard or sitting at the patio over looking it.

He was nice looking older man with a jovial face framed by understated glasses, charming smile, big belly and I guessed him to be not much over six feet tall. And like a typical royal, I knew he hadn’t done a lick of work in his life, least not hard work like I do. Too bad he’s straight, I thought to myself. Although he did make great j/o material.

After a day or so, I started noticing that the old prince would glance over at me from time to time. Being attracted to the man, I tend to bulge out at the crotch from time to time. And I started getting the idea that maybe he was looking at my crotch. Caused he would look away quickly whenever I would glance up and catch him looking at me.

Today, it was me who couldn't keep me eyes off him. His big belly looked so inviting as his shirt was only held together by half it's buttons. The heat of the day showed in the cleavage of his chest and his armpits. Oh my, was I in heaven! Lost in the thought of fucking the old prince did I noticed I was rock hard when Prince Henrik suddenly said, 'Who is the girl?'

'Sor … sorry?' I stammered.

'You've got one hell of a hard on there.' The prince said, 'I thought you must be thinking about some special girl.'

“Well, Sir, I guess you’re the blame.” I said thinking that I might as well be up front and honest with the old man. He looked sort of puzzled so I added. “Even time I see you I get a hard on.”

“Thanks. I don’t think any one has ever told me that I affected them in that manner before.”

And damn if he didn’t reach over, pat me on the shoulder and ask me to come inside. Obliging him, he led me by the hand inside Château de Caïx and into the bedroom.

We were standing in the middle of the room, slowly removing our clothes. Minutes later, we were naked and ready to engage in some hot steamy sex. Henrik sat on the edge of the bed with me standing in front of him. Then he started sucking the head of my cock adding lots of saliva so that he could slide it in his mouth easier. He fondled my balls as he went up and down quickly. I placed hismy hands on Henrik's shoulder and started to thrust my hips forward, burying my cock as deep as possible in the prince's greedy, sucking mouth.

"That's it. Suck my cock Your Highness." I said as I pumped my meat down the prince's throat.

I was amazed at the ease of which Henrik took my 7" inch cock from head to balls. He massaged my balls as he gave me a surprisingly good blow job. So good that I knew mine wasn’t the first dick that old prince had sucked.

After a few minutes of sucking, my cock was well lubricated and ready for insertion into his waiting asshole. Henrik lay back on the bed, raised and spread his legs while bending them at the knees.

"Fuck me. Fuck me hard." He said as he watched me crawl upon the bed between his legs.

Resting on the bed, I parted his legs at the knees and proceeded to slowly introduce my meat to the prince. Henrik sighed as I wasted no time in driving his meat completely in his ass. My thrusts were so deep that my tight balls slapped against Henrik's ass. As I continued my assault, I lifted the prince's ass off the bed so that I could plunge down at a more comfortable angle. Finally finding a position that I liked, I again pushed in my dick with great force. Henrik would grunt with each thrust in, throwing his head back as he thoroughly enjoyed the fucking that he was receiving from me.

And damn if Henrik's asshole didn’t feel wonderful as he was now moving around and up and down on my cock. As Henrik lay on his back, I noticed his dick stood completely at attention. I noticed how hard and thick Henrik's dick was. I noticed how it throbbed as I pushed my meat in and out of his wonderful ass. I grabbed it and started to jerk the prince's dick while I fucked him as he looked up and smiled.

I could tell by the expression on the prince's face that he was getting ready to cum. His cock throbbed back and forth and suddenly stiffened as I continued to pound. Henrik closed his eyes tightly and threw his head back.

"I'm cumming!" moaned the prince as a large load of cum shot from his dick.

Watching the prince shoot his load was too much for me as I to let go a mighty gust of cum. I immediately withdrew as it squirted a long stream of cum onto Henrik's stomach. Meanwhile Henrik coated both of us with load after load of cum.

As the last few drops oozed from my dick, I collapsed on top of Henrik. The cum stuck firmly to his belly and chest as it did to the equally thick black hair on my chest. The two of us lay chest to chest, wet with cum.

Despite the amount of cum both of us had shot, our cocks were still not completely soft and we still had interest in a little more sex.

I spend the night with him having sex off and on the entire night.

Henrik stayed in France for three weeks, prompting chatter of a potential royal divorce. Eventually, his wife Queen Margrethe joined him and the couple mended fences, heading back to Denmark. The queen gave him a loose rein, and was less concerned by his friendships with gentlemen.

#henrik prince consort of denmark #fan fiction #prince henrik #the prince consort of denmark #danish royal family #royalty #The Vineyard in the South of France

[lablass-2882]

Happy Cody Day!

So, in Honor of Cody Day (2/2/24), that I completely didn’t.....somewhat.... forget about until last minute.  I attempted to draw some cute fan art of Cody with all his nieces and nephews from my Clone kiddo Au.

And.....

I didn’t like it.  It just wasn’t working the way I wanted it to.  So, I tried something else.  And that looked terrible.  So I went for attempt number 3 aaaannnnd.... you can guess how that went.

Anyway

Here is a cute little short story instead featuring Cody and one of his nieces from my whacky AU.

Story below the cut.

Enjoy.

“Ow...”

“Sorry.” Cody mumbled.

“They don't have to be....kandos” A small voice mumbled. (Perfect)

“Ba’vod is almost done. This will only take a moment.” (Uncle)

“Gar said megin eyn hour’ago.” The small voice retorted. (You said that an hour ago.)

Cody huffed as he stared down at his messy work.  Despite weeks of careful planning, endless research, and diligent practice..... he really sucked at braiding.  In particular, he sucked at braiding hair.  There was something about braiding hair chaffed him to no end.  His braids were always uneven, messy, and, quite frankly, just inadequate.  He was just really bad at it.  He always had been and he expected that he always would be.  Much to his young and fidgety niece’s bad luck.

Now, Taliyah, or Tally for short, was trying her best to sit still.  But she was also a ten-year old child who really, really wanted to go play with the other kids in the yard.  What had started as a simple request for twin braids in her hair had turned into a battle of attrition for the young girl.  She had been so blissfully unaware of Cody’s utter disdain for braids.  And now, two hours later, her patience was reaching a breaking point. So, in a moment of defeat.....Cody throw in the towel and let the messy braids win.

“Alright, I guess that will have to do.” He huffed out.  “So, how do they look?”

He handed Tally a small mirror to look at her braids.  Her pale purple hair was so different than Cody’s own.  It was softer than the hair of the clones and had more of a wavy curl when compared to the tight curls that he and Vod’s sported.  This made his usual styling techniques and tricks ineffective on most days.  Especially braids.  But Tally didn’t seem to care about the messy braids or their uneven alignment, as a bright smile blossomed across her face.

“Val're Kandosii! I Love it, Ba’vod Kote!” (They’re perfect.)

Whirling around to face him, Cody was met with a tight hug and a wide toothy grin that made his heart melt.

“Ori'vor'e, ori’vor’e!” (An excited thank you expression.) The young girl chimed.  “Now I have braids too.  Just like Aurora and the ashi’vods.” (other kids)

Cody hummed and nodded along with her excitement.  He honestly thought that he could have done better, but if his niece was happy.  That was all that mattered. 

“Now, these won’t last all day, okay.  I don’t think your hair is long enough to leave the braids in like the others.  If they start to get loose, come and find me to fix it.  Utre’la?” (Means alright or clear.)

“Ultre’la.” Tally nodded.

Cody doubted that the braids would last for very long.  Not with how the kids played, it would be a miracle if they stayed for the rest of the day.  Plus, Tally’s hair really wasn’t long enough for tight braids. Aurora, Neo, and Ulh’ta all had hair similar to him and his vods, and it could hold tight braids.  While most of Tally’s hair had been chopped off during her surgery. It was starting to grow back, but at a snail’s pace.  He had tried to explain that to her when she asked him about putting braids in her hair....... but her pleading eyes broke down any resistance he had. So, this old clone soldier dug out his styling tools and attempted to make his ad'ika happy. (niece, nephew, child, etc.) Maybe Rex was right, and he had grown soft.

“May I go play in the yard now? Geedet’te Ba’vod Kote.” Tally chimed. (Please, uncle Cody.)

“You may.” He sighed.  “But be careful and no climbing things.”

“Okay.” She chirped while trying to wiggle out of his grip.

“Especially trees.”

“I won’t.”

“And no hitting the other kids.”

“Shi meh val nynir ni sol'yc” (Only if they hit me first.)

“Tal’ika.”

“I promise I won’t.” Tally giggled before running off.  Metal feet clanged against the floors as she ran.  Pausing momentarily at the doorframe before turning back to face him, “kar’taylir darasuum, Ba’vod Kote.” (Love you, Uncle Cody.) And with that, she was off.

Cody signed and went to pick up his tools.  “Kar'taylir darasuum gar too ad'ika.” (Love you too, little one.)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And there you have it. A nice short and sweet like fic.

Apologies for no doodles or drawings. I attempted so many different ideas, but drawing.exe in my brain just wasn't working. So I went with a short story instead.

Anyway, see y'all next time.

#cody day 2224 #commander cody #my ocs #clone kiddos au #crack au #Tally is sweetheart right up until the moment she slugs ya #“Talk shit get hit” is her motto #star wars the clone wars #star wars #clone trooper #clone of the day #coday #cody day #and for anyone who is curious tally is the daughter of a clone who was taken in by cody #i also tried to put the English translation of the mando'a words close to the phrase #also also tally has metal leggies #do with that what you will

[blizzardsuplex]

“like watching art in motion” (an essay on ZSJ and wrestling)

CW: discussions of gatekeeping

I didn’t have internet for over three days, and so in my total boredom I opened up my Microsoft Word and began tinkering with a “casual essay” on my favorite wrestler, Zack Sabre Jr. But I can’t talk about Zack without talking about how I feel about and my experiences with pro wrestling as a whole, so over 3.2k words later, here we are.

(I didn’t mean it to get so long...nor, in truth, get so personal. I’ve been carrying this with me for a long time, though, so I guess it had to come out eventually. Things like that always do.)

Title from a comment I saw on Reddit about Zack in 2016. Content under the cut. Special thanks to @heartsinablender/Izzy, who encouraged me to write and eventually post this in semi-public. :)

~~~~

My absolute earliest memories of professional wrestling are of reading next to my favorite uncle while he watched early to mid-2000s era Smackdown on one of those old, boxy TVs, but my first formative memory related to it is talking to one of my classmates, an enthusiastic prowres fan in the way children can be, on the stands by the soccer field during P.E. I don’t remember how the conversation started, but eventually (as it usually did) it landed on the object of his interest.

“I watch wrestling, sometimes,” I threw out, having at that point probably paid attention to a grand total of less than an hour of WWE. His eyes grew wide, then narrowed.

“Yeah?” he said. “Name ten wrestlers.”

He’d said it in a way that felt final, like he was sure that I wouldn’t be able to answer his challenge. It lit a fire under me, and I said “The Undertaker” as quick as a slap. He was unfazed, however, and all too soon I faltered: “The Great Khali, John Cena, Triple H, Booker T…uh. The Great Khali—“

“You said him twice,” my classmate said smugly. He turned away from me, back to the soccer game.

I don’t remember what I replied to the side of his face or what I did immediately after; it didn’t matter. I’d already failed the test, and no matter how biased its giver was, the fact I’d proven him right sucked.

~~~~

This is an essay about how I feel about the professional wrestler Zack Sabre Jr. This is also, if the above hasn’t clued you in, an essay about my personal history and relationship with professional wrestling. These ideas are not only closely related but intertwined, two vines. As with anything alive, both have their periods of growth and withering, fecundity and barrenness, somewhat independent of each other but in the end—as with any ecosystem—affecting the very same, sometimes in dramatic ways.

But even the strongest vines need something to wrap around if they ever hope to reach the sun. Where did these find their base?—my very body, frail as it is compared to the kinds of people who take up the path of the wrestler. That’s the funny thing about entertainment, I’ve found: the people you watch, whether on stage or in ring or on a screen, seem like invincible titans…as long as you’re watching them. The minute you turn your eyes away, they start to wilt; when you turn your back, they wither. With enough lack of care (in every sense), anyone could tear off the leaves and stems and just leave.

I could leave. I’ve almost left. Certainly I’ve drifted away from it on occasion. But so far I’ve always come back, or maybe more precisely I’ve let those vines wind and wind and wind ‘round me again, and more often than not ZSJ—what he represents to my conception of wrestling—is to blame.

~~~~

After I had tried and failed at the task of naming ten wrestlers, I remember feeling embarrassed. Now—though for a completely different reason—I feel outright ashamed. Now, I know too intimately what eight-year-old me could only barely comprehend: why he had issued that challenge in the first place. I was a girl, and I was an unathletic twig, and I was the most bookish of nerds, and while one or even two of those traits might have been acceptable in a “real fan”…all three of those things? Never. A classic example of gatekeeping—and for a while mentally that one interaction was successful at keeping me out.

But at the time it was “just” embarrassment, and as much as I hate to admit it that feeling followed me even after I began actually watching WWE with my uncle and cousin. Dipping your toes into any new activity or hobby, especially one with the amount of layers pro wrestling does, is daunting enough without the constant fear of somehow being discovered and kicked out of that space before my time, though of course my family wouldn’t do that—or, worse, laughed at, which they might’ve. The fact that my cousin was a year younger than me but, at least at first, knew more than I did didn’t really help: she never gatekept, but how she took every chair shot and dick kick we watched in stride (it was during Christian’s feud with Randy Orton) while I was left scratching my head a bit made me feel, as with my classmate, like a poser.

Well, I didn’t want to be a poser anymore, so I went to that great well of information: the internet. Specifically, I went on TV Tropes (yeah, I know) and read the pages on professional wrestling and WWE; while I was aware that there were other promotions, especially after reading the former—I remember the promotion name Ring of Honor getting a cool! from me—I wasn’t interested in anything but the “basics” at that point. What was a heel, a face, a tweener? What did it mean when someone did a shoot on another? What even was the Attitude Era, and why did people like it so much (a question that to this day I’m not sure I can answer)?

I got those down in a reasonable amount of time. Then, something interesting began to happen: I felt compelled to keep reading more about it. I honestly don’t remember the specifics—which names, memes, and tragedies (always in a WWF/WWE context) my brain absorbed like a sponge. All I know is that, after a couple of months, I ended up quite a bit like a smark. So I did get what I wanted: no longer did I feel like a fake fan, even if it came at the cost of somewhat alienating my cousin (who was beginning to lose interest in wrestling) and my uncle.

That wasn’t the most interesting thing I got out of my wiki walking days, though. Because of my (in truth middling-depth) dive into (a very narrow slice of) the prowres ocean, 12 to 13-year-old me thought I had figured this whole professional wrestling thing out: it was bright, it was flashy, it was written like a soap opera. It was entertaining, sometimes off of sheer cringe-inducing antics and sometimes out of sheer spectacle. What counted as spectacle, meanwhile?—the flippiest of flips, dramatic kickouts, muscled people billed at two whole feet taller than me hollering at each other in the ring. It was violent (but not too much, for the sponsors’ sake) and it was slickly produced and it had the best kind of nonsensical internal logic.

Of course, that is what wrestling is…sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with that, or anything wrong with watching wrestling like that, either. My mistake as a child was putting it in a box, thinking that everything I just said was everything it could and can be. I was lukewarm on the idea of prowres presented more sport-like, didn’t know how it could be entertaining without a writer’s room’s worth of storylines. As for pro wrestling being art, or even just beautiful—those two concepts seemed so far apart that to use the word never even crossed my mind.

~~~~

So stayed my thoughts on it until, when I was maybe 13 or 14, I fell head-first into hipsterdom (in the “wanting to like things before they were cool” sense). It happened with music, it happened with video games, and it happened with wrestling. Though I still watched WWE, I began to look beyond its borders—which is to say I began paying attention to trope examples by wrestlers I wasn’t familiar with. Those entries, along with a few well-placed links to 240p YouTube videos, were how I found my first favorite wrestler…who was, of all people, Chuck Taylor (who I still love, don’t get me wrong).

But wrestling news moves fast—even faster than the editors at early 2010s TV Tropes, and especially those editors who cared about keeping an independent wrestler’s page up to date. I knew that, if I wanted to know more about Chuckie T and his Gentleman’s Club, I would have to look elsewhere.

I found two places: a wrestling forum literally just called Wrestling Forum, and a newish subreddit called /r/squaredcircle. I proceeded to lurk on both, but it was on Reddit a year or so later that I found the post that ended up being the catalyst for my wrestling fandom from that point forward—a mention that Chuck Taylor wrestled at this supposedly really cool promotion called Pro Wrestling Guerrilla during their yearly Battle of Los Angeles, and that the footage of that show was finally out.

I don’t know when I found the time to look for it. When I think back to that Saturday afternoon, navigating with no adblock to a sketchy wrestling stream archive on a desktop already considered ancient, all I remember is how curious I was when—after giving it a couple of minutes to buffer—I finally pressed play.

~~~~

The match, if you want to find it yourself, is the Friends of Low Moral Fiber (Kenny Omega, Chuck Taylor, and Zack Sabre Jr.) versus the Young Bucks and Adam Cole from BOLA 2014 Night 1. Back then, every single one of those names were established or rising players in the independent scene; now, of course, they’ve all been in multiple top-level promotions around the world. For this and several other reasons, I haven’t been able to watch that contest back before, just last year, I found it in its entirety on YouTube. The channel quickly got taken down, but not before I snagged a copy for myself; in fact, I made the effort to get it as soon as I saw it was the real deal. As someone once told me, pro wrestling is one of the most ephemeral of entertainment forms—and also I don’t have the money for both a DVD player and to ship from the US to watch it legitimately.

But I wasn’t thinking about that when I was 14 or 15 years old. At the time, the only person I really knew or cared about in that match was Chuck, and so as the introductions happened I eagerly awaited his time in the ring (even back then, I held the opinion that he was an underrated worker). Instead, his team first fielded the skinny man with the Union Jack jacket, the one who’d gotten right into the other side’s faces. Zack Sabre Jr., I recalled as everyone got into their corners. A cool name, if a little overwrought.

The bell rang. Twenty-four minutes later, I paused the video and spent hours searching that “overwrought” name everywhere, looking for more clips of him, more discussion on him—more of his wrestling.

~~~~

What can I say about Zack Sabre Jr. in the context of wrestling that probably hasn’t already been said a million times? He has an atypical build for a wrestler, especially before his recent bulk up: tall but very lean—or outright skinny if you’re feeling uncharitable. His promo style is one I have seen called “extremely British” and “hilariously unhinged” (which, considering everything happening in the UK, maybe mean the same thing). He has some pretty sick taste in indie entrance themes. And, of course, he is considered one of the best technical wrestlers in the world—maybe of all time, and certainly in this generation.

To me, though, he is (simply, encompassingly) my favorite wrestler, and upon watching that BOLA match back it isn’t necessarily because I was wowed by the smoothness of his technique (though I was) or impressed by his underrated speed (though I was) or even in awe of his flexibility (though I definitely was—and here I shout out Adam Cole for helping make Zack’s first in-ring impression such a memorable one). No; it was because, for the very first time, I realized professional wrestling wasn’t cut and dry, contained within the box I had tried to place it in.

Read what I described my younger self’s conception of prowres to be…or, if you prefer, think back to the height of PG era WWE. To my mind, wrestling was supposed to almost overwhelm, saturate the senses. Wrestling was bright, flashy, melodramatic, violent—loud.

The footage I watched that day was loud, too; even through the shitty speakers and video quality, it was clear that the Reseda faithful knew how to have a good fucking time. But whenever Zack was in the ring, it was quiet—sometimes literally, but I more mean in movement, in intent. He convinced me from the first lock up that he was absolutely focused on how he could twist his body and how he could turn his opponent’s, that he aware of and could manipulate every single joint and muscle and ligament offered to him. He convinced me that it was, at that moment, all he cared about. It was still violence, of course; all his graceful movements were in service of hurting another. But it was an elegant violence, a quiet violence.

Pro wrestling, the profession of machismo and posturing, could be quiet. Who knew? Before I saw Zack wrestle, I didn’t, and nor did I ever consider the logical question to ask after: if it could be quiet—the complete opposite of what I thought it was—what else was it? What else might it become?

Beautiful, maybe?

I didn’t know then and I don’t know now. Whether wrestling is art is a discussion I leave to people with far more time and far more knowledge of aesthetics than I do. What I do know is this: I not only put it in the wrong box, I was wrong to put it in a box. Professional wrestling is no dead thing, no solved problem—it was, and is, alive, and at its best exists as a creative medium with so many possibilities. Sure, we all have our preferences, and prowres has space for loudness, almost deafening; but it has space for the quiet as well.

~~~~

It would be one thing if ZSJ was a flash in the pan, someone who rose in the business just far enough to get a handful of PWG bookings before fizzling out. If that were the case, I suppose I could expound on the point about prowres being ephemeral, say something that would amount to “the world may have moved on from him, but I’ll never forget how he opened my eyes all those years ago”. But that would be both extremely disingenuous and, to be honest, make a worse narrative. That one match made me understand wrestling more; following Zack’s career afterwards made me love it.

A not insignificant part to this is the fact I hitched my cart to a damn good horse—if Zack was good in 2014, he got even better as the years went by. While he was always a joy to see work, once he improved at selling in particular (which I never thought he was horrible at, mind, but watching early tapes back you can tell the difference), his matches went from baseline good to great; who doesn’t enjoy watching ZSJ crumple and ragdoll around the ring these days? Yet another big reason I am genuinely grateful for his wrestling is far beyond him: ZSJ was my passport to the rest of the wrestling world. Through him, I discovered so many promotions, so many other amazing wrestlers. There was PWG, of course—tying Mike Bailey into knots in the finals of a BOLA, making Chris Hero’s finger bleed, going to war with Roderick Strong over the belt. There was him countering Will Ospreay’s top rope move into a triangle choke that one Wrestlemania weekend. It was him who put me on to European wrestling, with WxW and RevPro and everyone else. His fight with Negro Casas was the first time I’d seen a mat-based lucha match. And, of course, without him I wouldn’t have started watching New Japan, and without New Japan I would’ve never seen any of the amazing people that make up the puro and/or joshi scene.

I always, always come back to Zack himself, though, it’s true. And maybe, some might suggest, it’s at least partly out of a mix of nostalgia and novelty—he was the first wrestler I paid attention to that looked different and wrestled different from what I considered the norm. When I’m put in a hyperfocused trance by the quiet of his matches, past and present, perhaps it’s just my subconscious, somehow, paying respect to how he made that young teen feel.

My answer to that is…well, maybe a little. But ZSJ doesn’t coast by on that alone—he is continually improving, continually striving to improve, and I couldn’t be happier that he’s getting his due. And, like with professional wrestling itself, I find happiness in that match from 2014 (almost a decade ago, now!) not only out of a sense of nostalgia, or even its own sake, but because it’s proof of what Zack Sabre Jr. was and has now become.

~~~~

A trio of ZSJ-related anecdotes to round things off:

1.) When I was in late high school, I did a school project on professional wrestling. The local guy I interviewed was honestly pretty gracious, but something he said nagged at me. “Pro wrestling,” he tried to explain to me, even before I said anything about what I watched, “isn’t just like WWE.” I know, I wanted to reply. My favorite wrestler is Zack Sabre Jr. I watch mostly American indies. Why are you assuming that I don’t know that?—but it would have come across indignant, and so I held my tongue.

2.) A few months later, I wrote a post on Facebook on why I liked pro wrestling, inspired by my discovery of Barthes’ essay on it in his Mythologies. My old classmate, the one who gatekept me when we were both eight, saw it—and he not only liked it, not only commented positively on it, but even DMed me. “Who’s your favorite wrestler?” he asked me. “Zack Sabre Jr.,” I said. He then proceeded to approve, saying that he was great in the Cruiserweight Classic; he was then surprised when I said I’d been following his career for a while even before that.

3.) When my older sister and I were in the women’s section of the Tokyo Dome during Wrestle Kingdom 14 Night 1, we ended up sitting next to and chatting with an Australian lady who got into NJPW because of her boyfriend (they both really liked Ospreay). When ZSJ came down to the ring, I heard her say encouragingly to me “that’s your Zack”. I’m not sure if I’d ever say he’s mine, but that was the night, maybe even the moment, that the very beginnings of this essay were born: when I realized how much he’d influenced at least this part of my life. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to jump down fifteen rows of seats and shake his hand, tell him even a little what his performances meant to me.

But that was not the time for that; three years later I still haven’t found the time for it, living where I do. Instead, I ended up, and end up, just sitting in my chair, screaming wordlessly at the top of my lungs, and watching him wrestle.

#mel's writing tag #zack sabre jr #man if anyone reads this whole super self-indulgent thing...thanks! #and even if not... #thanks to my mutuals who've made tumblr a safe place to post this

[pepperf]

What do you do when you’re burnt out on fanfic? Like the characters just don’t feel the same to you anymore

I assume you mean writing fic, not reading? (For reading, I find that's the point at which I drift into another fandom).

It's...difficult, tbh. I am kind of in that place with TUA, too, and while I'm looking forward to the last burst of excitement with season 4, and that might reignite my desire to write endlessly about these characters, I suspect that my most passionate love affair with this show is winding down. I still adore it! But I'm not thinking about it 24/7, coming up with new meta, new fic ideas, things I simply HAVE to write...

I've never found a solution, honestly! I've been through a number of fandoms, and there always does come a point where it winds down, for me. I respect and admire fans who are still there, 20 years later, with the same passion! But that's not how I work. And it sucks, honestly. It also sometimes means that my fandom social life shifts - I will keep some of y'all, but eventually most people will find other shows to post about, as will I, and our paths will diverge. And I feel sad, and wistful, and a little autumnal about the whole thing.

It doesn't have to mean it's the end right now, however. Some people find a new spark in the same fandom - maybe that one fic idea that's just SUCH a challenge, SO interesting, that the fic itself grabs hold of you. Sometimes I find that I need to do something totally different - write in a different style, or create art instead, or...something, shake it up, whatever that means. Other people may have other tricks.

But on the whole, what I find is that I try to accept that it will simmer down, and that I won't finish every fic idea I ever had - and I look forward to whatever new and unexpected fandom will grab me in the future (and to having some downtime in the meanwhile, lol).

Sorry, that maybe got out of hand! I'm feeling some kinda way about the show coming to an end, I guess. XD To go back to your specific ask: sometimes I do a rewatch (because often I'm so caught up in fic or fandom that I forget where it all started, what made me love it in the first place). Sometimes I let myself start a new fic, something really super indulgent, the kind of fic that I most want to read but have been telling myself, nah, that's too much, no one will want to read that (don't listen to that voice, it's a lying liar!). Sometimes I go watch or read something else, and come back with a totally weird crossover idea (I don't really recommend that one, almost no one reads those). Sometimes I let myself just think about the characters, about something that's always struck me about them but that I've never quite pinned down and that I want to explore more in some way (usually fic, for me). Sometimes I just let myself stop worrying and go do something else, and if it comes back, it comes back.

I hope that's helpful - I'm not sure it is, but hey, the one thing I'm enjoying about TUA is that, generally, it's been a positive experience, and I am hopeful that we'll go out with a good and satisfying season 4. And we still have 6 entire episodes yet to see!

EDIT: Also - because apparently I have A Lot Of Opinions tonight - I find that it never completely leaves me. I care about all the shows I ever loved like this, I watch the new stuff the actors do (sometimes), I will read the odd fic, or rewatch an episode - or the whole thing - sometimes...I'm never going to completely lose TUA, and I will take forward some of the character beats and the ideas that I picked up from it, in some form or other. I may even get suddenly inspired, five years down the line, to finish a fic. XD So it's never wasted, it's all mulch to the creative mind.

#long post #boy that got rambly #I hope you don't mind me posting this aloud #writing #tua s4 #the umbrella academy

[goosewriting]

yesterday i finally watched the new tmnt movie!! at first i wanted to do a live reaction kinda thing, except that wouldn’t work because i'd have to reblog every entry and hiding every single part under a "read more" would be not only tedious, but i'm not even sure if it's possible lol

so instead have a collection of my thoughts here! (spoiler warning, duh)

first of all: the art style. there’s something strangely nostalgic about it. it feels like that is what my mental storyboards as a kid would have looked like, had i been into animating back then. or at least that would have been close to the style i would have liked to emulate.

the explosions looking like violent scribbles is just so 😩🤌♥ chef's kiss, truly. there's something about the art in general that just moves in such a particular way and holds a certain weight and volume,, it feels like cardboard and clay and crayons and the piles upon piles of coloured pencils i used to have as a kid and how the wooden pencil drawer smelled. i'm such a fan of this style i’M obsessed o(-<

in the intro shots for the turtles, raph licking his sai blades is so extra and i love him for that lmao

for some reason i completely forgot they cast jackie chan as splinter and tbh idk how to feel about it? no hate towards him; i just don't think voice acting is his strong suit

meanwhile i'm looooving mikey's voice. also leo's beacuse, well first of all, i am a leo girlie (gender neutral) through and through so i would have loved all aspects of him no matter what. but his voice actor is gumball's i believe? and that's one of my comfort shows 🥺 i just love him sm

this little donnie is sending me, i- 🤣

superfly's theme reminds me of miguel's for some reason? 😂 and i'm here for it ahahh

the whole watermelon scene lmaoo teeangers being teenagers, finally

aaaand here comes the probably forced romance subplot 😅😅 (more on that later)

the whole fighting scene in the workshop tinted in red? ugh 10/10

ok so, april: i really like how they met. i like her design, her voice and her whole vibe. the whole puking jokes were a little too much for me; personally im not a fan of fart or puke jokes because, well, i’m not a 12yo boy (looking at you seth rogen) but all in all i really liked this rendition of april. it sucks tho that the turtles got a snazzy outfit by the end, both for school and for prom, but april’s clothes always remained the same. would have loved to see what she wore to prom!

the gen z lingo and references: …i mean, i guess it makes sense? i just don’t know how well it will age xD the references to end game and all were fun but, again, will someone in 15 years understand what they meant? will someone in 15 years know what rizz is?

changing the topic, the way eyeballs are rendered??? hello?? they’re so expressive and shiny and i lowkey wanna lick them ok

the chris pine cutout actually made me choke on my food from both surprise and laughter jhdfkjashdf

oookay so. superfly and his gang. first of all when the gecko talked i went like hey is that ant-man? lmao i love all the designs and ice cube as the villain works?? im not mad?? lol now, his plan however... sigh, my guy. killing all humans aside, have you maybe thought that if you turn every single animal and insect into a mutant, the whole ecosystem would all but collapse? there will be no planet left to belittle the humans on (:

"he'll run out of cars eventually" / *looks at parking* / “oh, c’mon!” lmaoo 😂 this joke was excellent

so, back to the forced romance thing. look i get it, they needed a reason to help out april to get the plot going. and if leo said it, then the rest would follow. i get that. but throughout the whole movie, aside from like his brothers elbowing his side knowingly, there’s no more allusion to anything? and then only at the veeeery end, he asks her out and she says yes, so i was like “oh okay so that’s the payoff then. took long enough” but then when they’re dancing she rhetorically asks if they’re just doing this as friends and 😐 maybe this is just my aroace self projecting but,, if you’re gonna use romance/romantic interest as a catalyst (lame tbh), at least be consequent about it?? if you (the writers) didn’t have the intention to explore the relationship, then leave it altogether? again, this is just my aroace opinion,, i can’t relate so i don’t understand. (which i know seems contradictory given my uh, repertoire of fics lmao) personally i would have preferred a different reason for them to helping out april, and having them all just be besties by the end, which they ended up being anyway

so, to sum it all up. it’s a story we’ve seen a hundred times, so there was really nothing new to it. the plot was okay,, the biggest thing that “bothered” me was superfly’s whole extermination thing making no sense, technically. but other than that, my eyes and ears were having an absolute feast. a very enjoyable film all in all. when we got rottmnt, i was like “oh finally an iteration of the teenage mutant ninja turtles where they’re actually teenagers” but scratch that. mutant mayhem is the most teenager one, and i loved them for that. time will tell how the jokes will age but yeah, the way they were depicted was definitely my favourite thing about the film aside from the art style.

have you guys seen it? what are your thoughts? lemme know :D feel free to comment here or send in some asks!

#btw i 100% disappeared for a long time and then im dropping this and probably disappearing again #for which i am sorry #things are just kinda hectic rn #tmnt mutant mayhem #tmnt mm #goose honks

[sitp-recs]

hi! thank you so much for such amazing recs all the time. what a gift!!! this is a different kind of request than usual maybe so feel free to skip it or take your time or interpret in your own way: i’m looking for swoon-worthy fics, like sooo romantic. like off the charts oh my god this is so sweet so loving so huge kind of vibes. but that’s like a feeling you know, for the characters and for the readers, so. not sure if it makes sense! thank u :)

Hi anon, thank you so much for the kind words!! I don’t really read hardcore fluff tbh, but I love myself some tender romance! I’ve included different flavours here with a lil bit of angst (couldn’t resist 🤣) but nothing too intense. I hope this list works for you! You can also check the latest Fluff Fest collection here.

Say the words / then stay around by Teatrolley (NR, 5.7k)

They’ve been together for a while when Harry decides that he wants to try the Auror Office again. What he doesn’t consider is the effects the work might have on the two of them. But, then again, maybe those effects don’t have to be all bad?

Little Talks by Femme and noeon (E, 11k)

Draco's been shagging the Head Auror for months now, and he's sure it's just a fling. Until Harry asks him to a Quidditch match, that is, and things go horribly wrong.

Take the Moon by @tackytigerfic (M, 15k)

Harry Potter has always wanted a family of his own, and when a deadly blood curse forces him into a marriage bond with his best friend Draco Malfoy, it looks like he might just have found one.

Two Zinnias and the Scent of Lemon by @the-starryknight (M, 16k)

The Ministry didn’t turn bad overnight. Harry didn’t suddenly turn rogue either. Between covert Legilimency links and Polyjuice disguises and running and running and running, Draco has forgotten what it is like to have a safe harbor that isn’t a person. If there’s an art to fighting back, then they’ll find it hand in hand.

freely, as men strive for right by @bixgirl1 (E, 17k)

How can Harry love a man like Draco Malfoy? If only Draco would let him count the ways.

The Courting by the Pureblood Who Only Has Five Milligrams of Romantic Intelligence and Thinks He’s Real Smooth by Cibee (T, 19k)

Draco could grab Potter and shove him into a stall before proceeding to suck his soul out of his dick, but secretly, deep down, in the part of Draco that he will never admit to anyone, he is (everyone pauses to shudder) a romantic. Potter is not someone Draco wants a one-off with. Potter is — Draco’s beloved!

With Great Yawns and Stretchings by sugar_screw (T, 22k)

The coffee is very good. Really. And the cats are so cute. That's why Harry goes so often.

All Things Go by @sorrybutblog (E, 33k)

Draco’s back at Hogwarts by court order. Harry’s back for no particular reason at all. Some things change, some stay the same. Neither expects to spend eighth-year living in close quarters, playing rugby (poorly), staying up late, sneaking around, and finally figuring it all out.

Eager for the Sky by @oknowkiss (M, 35k)

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup.

Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose and dustmouth (T, 96k)

Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.

Kaleidoscope by Saras_Girl (E, 104k)

If Harry’s honest, the last thing he needs is a house full of Draco Malfoy, but partners are partners, and perhaps, the thing he wants the least will turn out to be absolutely everything. 2021 advent fic, completed.

Far From The Tree by aideomai (E, 112k)

The arrival of Harry Potter’s children—snapped back in time, the children themselves guessed, twenty or so years—was the most interesting thing to happen at Hogwarts for years.

A Sword Laid Aside by @korlaena (E, 128k)

When Draco’s cover is blown during a deep undercover operation and the Ministry is compromised, Ron takes Draco to the only safe place he can think of—Potter. Hiding out with a taciturn Harry Potter, who has been missing from the Wizarding World for almost two decades after a shocking fall from grace, is nothing like Draco thought it would be.

#asks #anon #Drarry reclist #sweet romance

[ryuichirou]

8, 16, 20, 24, 25, 27 for the ask game!

Ask game!

YessSSS that’s a lot of questions, thank you so much, Anon!

Let’s roll.

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in.

There are a lot of them, unfortunately.

I won’t name any of our projects with Katsu because I still hope to come back to them and finish them one day. Even the ones that are super old… They are just so good that the idea of not completing at least some of them would break my heart lol

But there are some Solo Ryu projects that I’ve lost interest in. I used to brainstorm about a comedy comic about a girl and another girl that represents her periods and treats her poorly… The joke got old pretty quickly, and the whole thing didn’t work out.

I also used to come up with random characters, but I never do anything with them when I’m doing it alone, so they appeared for one or two sketches and then perished – I’m not really a storyteller, and without a story I can’t get invested in my own ideas :(

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing.

I don’t know if there is such thing, to be honest. Maybe I’m forgetting something, of course…

But in general, if I’m good at it, my mind usually goes “fuck yeeeeah”, so I’m inevitably end up having fun at least to some degree. Even if it ends up not looking good…

I guess I’ve gotten better at drawing shoes, but I still stress out every time I draw them, so it stops me from having fun sometimes.

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

I guess… that would be… hands. 👀

I used to suck at drawings hands so bad that one person from my past even said that with every new drawing I invent a new way to avoid drawing hands. Well well well guess who’s laughing now, Linda?

Saltiness aside, I spent a lot of time getting better at them, so now I really genuinely like drawing hands.  

24. Do your references include stock images

I try to avoid them as much as I can, to be honest. It depends on the stock image; sometimes they work nicely, but when it comes to special equipment, the models from the stock images usually don’t know how to hold them properly. Which isn’t their fault at all, I wouldn’t randomly know how to hold a violin either; but for that reason I would probably try to search up some violinist. If I find a good video, that’s even better.

… I rarely really use references aside from situations like this lol

But I also feel like everyone uses stock images to some degree, and I’m no exception.

25.  Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

We used to receive a lot of comments comparing our stuff to Killing Stalking back when we posted SnK fanart lol And we haven’t even read it…

There were also a couple of times when our stuff got compared to the artstyle of Avatar, which is??  A huge compliment that I didn’t deserve back then?? But despite us loving Avatar very much, we’re not actively inspired by it.

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

I try to, a lot of times it’s necessary, because otherwise I make stupid mistakes 💪😔

A lot of times it’s just a simple portrait sketch. But also, sometimes I start by drawing day by doing something simpler, like cleaning/shading the scans or adding base colours to my drawings. I feel like it also counts as a warm up.

#replies #ask game

[yaldabaothadeez]

In what is probably the least surprising news you’ll hear today, I’ve been trying to get Stable Diffusion to draw monster girls.

Frankly, it kind of sucks at this.

The reason seems to be that if SD draws part of something, it really wants to keep going and draw the rest of it. This makes drawing any kind of chimera rather difficult.

Rambling and cute anime girls below the cut

(These images were made using a variety of models - the more animu ones mostly with the leaked NAI model. I did a fair bit of in-painting and image-to-image stuff with these, but they all started from text-to-image results)

Harpies, or at least “women with wings” are easy for pretty much any model. Getting wings instead of arms is less reliable, but for any of the models trained on danbooru, the tag “winged arms” helps sometimes, but as I said above, these models really want to follow shoulders with arms. Getting any other bird features, like talons for feet, is very unreliable.

Mermaids seem to get weird configurations of fins and oddly patterned scales, but most human-generated art of mermaids also seems to be pretty loose with this. so I guess that’s fair.

Lamias/nagas/sneople are nearly impossible. A snake tail is a long extended object that gets occluded by itself and any other objects in the scene, and needs properties that aren’t visible locally to be consistent (e.g. not having loops). SD also seems to struggle with attaching the human part to the start of the snake tail, rather than somewhere along its length - and as before, you sometimes get snake heads poking into the scene, even when you negatively weight them. My advice is to choose the least fucked up picture in your batch and image-to-image it a few times. This is the best I’ve managed, mostly through dumb luck (and maybe don’t look too closely at where her tail goes behind itself)

Centaurs are worse. If you ask any of the current SD models for a picture of a centaur, you will get, in descending order of likelihood

A person riding a horse

A horse

A fucked up horse

A person cut off at the waist riding a horse

A centaur

There must be a lot of centaurs in the training data, but the temptation to complete the image to something it’s seen much more of is too strong

However, once you do have an actual centaur, most of the models are pretty good about doing things with them (though you have to be careful about it snapping back to one of the other cases).

Those last two are interesting answers to the perennial “if a dog worse pants” question. I wasn’t trying for that, my prompt was to give them jackets, which I guess was interpreted differently in the context of a horse body.

#monster girl #harpy #machine learning

[roach-works]

I posted 4,703 times in 2022

112 posts created (2%)

4,591 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@pavlovs-pigeon

@salmonking

@astercrash

@rockpapertheodore

@leagueofaveragefolk

I tagged 1,513 of my posts in 2022

#art - 161 posts

#writing - 76 posts

#poetry - 44 posts

#boat boys - 33 posts

#reference - 28 posts

#fashion - 25 posts

#incredible - 21 posts

#music - 19 posts

#yes - 17 posts

#long post - 16 posts

Longest Tag: 116 characters

#and also 'i will spend all of recess figuring out how to obtain a walnut on the other side of this chain link fence'

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

are new people really joining tumblr or not? it's simple. it would be very funny if new people joined tumblr and sucked at it. it would also be very funny if no one was joining tumblr and people were just telling increasingly ridiculous lies. therefore i firmly believe both situations are true.

13,128 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

#4

new heresy that makes the bible way funnier:

god genuinely had no idea that people would be able to disobey him, when he made them. angels couldn’t! everything in the universe was just an extension or a reflection of god himself, operating in perfect mechanical order. then he put a spark of his own creative consciousness in an animal and it turned out it could disobey him.

like, that’s why he told adam and eve not to access a perfectly accessible tree. nothing else in the universe up until that point would have done something he told them not to.

that’s why he asks cain a perfectly ridiculous question, given that he would have watched the murder happen right in front of him: where is your brother? what did you do to him? he didn’t know cain could lie. even when adam and eve disobeyed him, surprising absolutely everyone involved, they hadn’t figured out lying yet. cain figured out lying.

that’s why god decides to destroy humans and start over only a few centuries later. he has no idea what to do. not only are people disobeying and lying to him, they’ve started completely ignoring him, too. he can control the wind, the water, the plants, the animals, the angels, the heavens, the earth. but he cut a part of himself loose and gave it to this totally unique new critter and now he can’t get it back. he can’t make anyone do anything, and now they know it. he had to carve humanity back down to the one family that actually, for whatever reason, still listened to him, and he had to ride them pretty fucking hard from that point onward to make sure they didn’t just..... stop. because at any point basically any human, ever, even the ones who liked him, could just randomly decide to fuck off and do their own thing.

then like, according to christians, god thought maybe he could get a handle on whatever the fuck was going on with how bad humans were being by making another human who had even more god in him than all the other humans, and that didn’t work either. and also even jesus himself didn’t know what humans were going to do next, which was kill him young. like, god had to break the news to him based on an educated guess, and it was a big surprise to him! he was really upset! there’s a whole scene!

like, i think this is hands down the funniest fucking thing to conclude about god ever. he didn’t know it was going to turn out like this when he started and he didn’t know what to do when it did. he’s been basically scrambling to stay on top of the situation for six thousand years and he’s totally beefed it repeatedly.

god the omnipotent lord of creation knows everything, except what you’re going to do next. god the supreme ruler of the universe can do anything, except stop you. you have a little piece of god inside you and it lets you defy the most fundamental machinery of existence basically whenever you like.

if that’s not funny, i don’t know what is.

13,345 notes - Posted November 5, 2022

#3

so here’s something i never figured out when i first read the sandman comics as a teenage girl, but which consuming the netflix show as a grown man is making extremely clear:

why the Corinthian is like that.

and it’s brilliant! it’s really cool. so in a series absolutely crammed full of very realistic queer representation-- lesbians and bisexuals and trans people of all kinds!-- you have morpheus stating outright that nightmares are meant to teach and challenge dreamers, by bringing subconscious fears to light, where they can be faced and overcome.

and the Corinthian has mouths for eyes. he devours eyes. he eats what people use to look at him like that, and what he used to look at people consumes them.

and he’s gay, he is a creature made by and for gay men, by personal preference all his victims are gay men, and being gay can be fucking terrifying. his eyes are mouths that eat those eyes that don’t look away from him in time, because he is the absolute mortal terror of knowing that the gender you’re attracted to--your own gender!--is extremely likely to kill you for looking at them. decades, centuries, of men looking at men and knowing this could kill them. eyes meeting eyes and wondering if this ends with the man you can’t stop looking at coming and kissing you or coming and killing you. in the eighties there was AIDS and there were more queers than ever coming out and saying ‘no, we’re here, look at us, we’re dying, look at us, we’re alive anyway, look at us.’

you’re gay in a world where that’s not okay. do you close your eyes? do you pull them out? you like to look at men. you can’t stop looking at men. you love them and they scare the hell out of you. some of them might love you. some of them will kill you. you keep looking. who’s looking back at you? can you survive it?

the Corinthian is that nightmare. and he’s perfect.

14,106 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

#2

writing is so hard i want to be praised for all my most clever lines right now

28,999 notes - Posted April 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

listen. aging into your thirties rocks. yes your joints get a little creaky. yes you can’t sleep in a pretzel on the floor anymore after a concert or a convention. and you lose some friends. but the thing is that you sort out who your real friends are and you sort out who you really are. and you get to see your friends settling into careers they like, and adopt new dogs and cats, and you find a job you can stand, and get really good at arts and crafts, and maybe that book you loved as a kid gets a movie deal and it doesn’t suck, and you learn to like new food and bake your own bread, and you realize that the great portfolio of self harm scars you all used to curate are going white with age and not updated, and half your friends are a different gender now and so much happier and maybe you are too, and you know who you are, and that it’s a journey and not a revelation. it’s a direction you’re headed, and you’re enjoying the trip.

reaching your 30′s rocks. and i’m hearing good things about what comes next, too.

61,736 notes - Posted September 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[thestobingirlie]

the trend of making eddie buff and muscular in art and fic alike is repulsive to me. also the acting like rockstar eddie would be some kind of heartthrob played straight when he would actually fit into the grand tradition of Just Some Guy musicians acting like they're incredibly hot. idk maybe it's bc i do not belong to the horde that is desperate to fuck jquinn (who is most definitely just some guy to me, even as eddie) but, aside from that not being what eddie or jquinn look like, i just don't understand the appeal of warping eddie like that.

i was actually talking about how differently people depict steddie in art yesterday!! i just don’t get drawing their heights or weights or muscles completely different. they’re basically the same height and body shape lmao.

like, i guess if it’s an au where they’re a body builder or something, sure. but sometimes it’s just art where eddie is over six foot for no reason lmao.

and yeah, a lot of people seem to love just worshipping eddie as a god, through characters or just on their own lmao. and i don’t get the appeal either. i understand, obviously, that that’s just the way they view eddie, for whatever reason, but it often seems to come at the expense of other characters. and eddie is so just some guy to me. idk, i think treating him like that kinda sucks the fun out of his character for me.

#steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #stranger things #asks #anon

[29-12-2011]

Hope this is okay to bring up but all th points u made in that post abt ppl white woman-Ifying viktor Yeah. It’s impossible 2 scroll through certain tags on this site (or any tbh) without seeing some bad jayce take because people don’t understand they’re completely separate characters. Or refuse to read viktor as he actually acts in arcane OR league just because he’s their scrungly sad little meow meow who can do no wrong and everyone and everything is out to get him. It’s incredibly annoying too because people are Making content based on league lore, but are basing it off other people’s fics instead of reading the lore, so it’s like a self repeating cycle, not sure how else to explain it but it just sucks ass and it makes it hard to interact with th majority of ppl making art for the two of them

that is true! sorry, didn't mean to localise it as an issue particular to just arcane because yeah, it's been happening since the arrival of 2016 viktor's lore (and maybe even before). i can't count the number of times jayce has been accused of genocide(?) or stealing blitzcrank by hiding him in his trenchcoat and running away or purposely trying to get viktor expelled (in the order of significance ascribed by most fans), or any other weird crimes people can dream up because the fact is that if you look at his biography instead of basing your entire knowledge off of drabbles and AUs and author's notes and inside jokes and references he did... none of these things?

like there's nothing gloating about how he describes viktor getting expelled -- i'd argue he didn't intend for it to happen at all. but somehow in fandom discussions or reddit posts people stretch it to jayce stealing viktor's wife and kids or whatever i really don't get it! and if you argue from the lens of interpretation i'm not sure what textual basis you'd have for that at all given that jayce is notably distraught after losing viktor.

of course jayce doesn't do himself any favours by not mentioning blitzcrank, or trying to defend himself, but you only really fall victim to thinking viktor was in the right by doing an entirely surface level reading without realising, hey, maybe trying to strip people of free will is bad?

i understand being more emotionally engaged with viktor's side of the story, and if you read jayce's biography after reading viktor's your viewpoint is already shaped by the uncharitable way viktor depicts him, but honestly if you're going to try to engage with these characters in a serious level i'd at least ask for you to try and figure out what is going on (or don't, if it's more fun i guess i can't really police how you consume fictional men).

the "genocide" that they believe is happening (please google what genocide is) is so... GUYS HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY VIKTOR WAS ABLE TO CONTROL AND ORDER AROUND THE AUTOMATONS THAT WERE SUPPOSED TO BE THE ZAUNITES' NEW BODIES? like there is room for nuance here obviously if you can be bothered to think it through but at a surface level glance viktor is not in the right here. i'll defend viktor and write him and love him until the day i die but that's not because i agree with what he is doing, it'd be because i enjoy him as a character and find him interesting to explore.

maybe people conflate this emotional attachment with the belief that since so much wrong has been done to him (which i won't deny, just that a lot of it wasn't jayce's fault) viktor must be in the right, and jayce becomes the target of this righteous anger because how dare you not defend this poor little meow meow victim of all of society's faults!

and all of these things are multiplied tenfold by looking at it through the lens of arcane and refusing to even consider how the two SEPARATE iterations would fuse together. now white woman A!viktor is dying, and isn't that just so pitiful? why WOULDN'T you let him commit all those atrocities, and if you REALLY LOVED HIM you wouldn't BETRAY HIM AND SELL HIM OUT! WHICH TALIS DOES NOT DO BECAUSE THOSE EVENTS ARE NOT PART OF ARCANE THEY ARE PART OF LEAGUE! or something or the other. and frankly this is just disrespectful to all four characters.

the image most arcane-only fans have of giopara would be "asshole", which is true, but he's also a complex layered character that loses a lot if you choose to reduce him to one archetype, and if you choose to misinterpret a character and then blame him for your misinterpretation it's like... well i really don't get it but it's whatever because it's for real just a video game biography/TV show.

#bon.docx #long post #anonymous #answered #don't even wanna expound on how much of this is people looking at them and seeing ''big brown man and frail pale twink'' #it's just so... #anyway if you're going to have the worst takes ever i'd at least ask for you to do the courtesy of looking at the source material #or not i'm literally just some guy you don't have to care #it's a tv show/game #scratches head i just feel like writing improves a lot from having a sense of characterisation #sorry if i sound like an elitist fuck over a tv show/game i just like reading things that make sense #also don't understand people's needs to be like ''I DON'T ENDORSE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS!'' like league is substance abuse or something #but if it makes you feel better because league killed your gecko or something then i can't say anything

[thelightofthingshopedfor]

you know, I think I’d be at least slightly less upset/frustrated about character deaths in the MCU if they expanded more on the concept of the afterlife and brought that aspect more in line with the comics

because, I mean, it’s been mentioned, even portrayed, but not in a way that’s at all consistent, and at least for me, that makes some deaths feel a lot more final than others. not even “final” as in “I’m expecting the MCU to do the revolving-door thing of the comics and never keep its characters dead,” because I don’t expect that, but like--it makes a difference if you know a character’s soul continues to exist and they’re at peace, you know? especially if the alternative is, they were human and they died and now there’s just nothing?

and it’s confirmed for a few very specific aspects of the MCU. Asgard has Valhalla, implied before and now shown directly. Wakanda has the Ancestral Plane. there’s some stuff in Moon Knight that I haven’t actually seen yet but I know it’s there because of the wiki. those are all nominally based on real-world religions and gods, but in the MCU they’re actual reality whether you believe in them or not, and your cultural background seems to be the only thing dictating where you end up in the afterlife. I guess the Astral Dimension is...kind of connected to the other afterlives, but maybe also not, which is exactly the kind of thing they should develop more.

the very existence of the Soul Stone (and the fact that everyone has an astral form, I guess? but the Ancient One’s astral form fades when she dies, so does that mean astral forms don’t actually have anything to do with souls, or that human souls just poof into oblivion when they die, or just that their afterlife is completely inaccessible to the living?) is hard proof that souls exist in the MCU and everyone has one. only, there’s no indication that anybody else actually gets an afterlife, because absolutely nothing is ever mentioned, aside from human-typical stuff about resting or being reunited with dead family members or whatever. it would make sense if they did, for sure! like, it would be extremely weird if the souls in a small handful of cultures throughout the universe got to continue existing after death and literally everyone else just stopped existing as if they’d never been there in the first place. but nothing in the films indicates otherwise. every single other character who’s died might as well just be erased from existence like they’d never been, like they’d never mattered, and that just sucks, you know? at least in the comics, everybody--I’m pretty sure--went somewhere when they died, whether they stayed there or not.

which is also not to say that I think everyone in the MCU should know/believe that some kind of afterlife exists. obviously the Earth-based stuff in the MCU is more or less based on the real world, which has a ton of different beliefs about what happens after death even while none of us can ever actually know, and it would be pretty weird to make that huge of a difference between the MCU and reality. but there can also be a big difference between what the characters know and what the audience knows, or between what some characters know and others know. we could have gotten a quick shot of Tony and Natasha reuniting in some vague afterlife, for instance. (or Gamora absolutely wrecking Thanos in the afterlife, but that might be too complicated to do it quickly, and also they’re cowards and super weird about Thanos so they probably wouldn’t have done that anyway.) or a Wakandan could be explicit about the Ancestral Plane being only one afterlife of many, all connected, with everybody getting one whether they expect it or not. or one of the Masters of the Mystic Arts could say that the Astral Dimension contains a whooooole bunch of afterlives and the living can’t access them so not much is known for certain but they at least know something’s there and various people have had glimpses of dimensions or whatever that look like the afterlives described in various cultures.

...granted, I only watched Doctor Strange once, and I still haven’t seen Multiverse of Madness, Wakanda Forever, Moon Knight, or Love and Thunder, so I guess it’s possible any of these things could have happened and I forgot or just didn’t know, but the wiki doesn’t mention the kind of thing I want so I assume there wasn’t anything like that, and it bugs me.

(I don’t actually expect an Asgardian to care about any afterlife but Valhalla so I’m not surprised we didn’t get anything useful from them. ...I am annoyed Love and Thunder didn’t expand on the Valhalla bit just a little to show that Loki’s been reunited with his mom. and slightly surprised, because as joke-heavy as that movie apparently was, I wouldn’t have been surprised at all to have Loki welcome Jane to Valhalla just so she could punch him again--but more effectively this time--in a callback to TDW. the only question would be whether Taika would go for the cheap but basically nonsensical joke by leaving it there, despite Loki saving Jane’s life twice in TDW and apparently dying for Thor, and then fighting for Asgard in Ragnarok and actually dying for Thor in IW, or if he’d make it reasonable with “that’s for letting Thor think you were dead for years, asshole,” but then hugging him or something, all “that’s for...a bunch of other stuff. you’re still an asshole though.” which is something I could easily turn into a short little fic, probably, but I still prefer just going “well anyway he’s not dead because I said so.”)

#marvel cinematic universe #life after death #meta #my meta #marvel meta #thor #loki #jane foster #tony stark #natasha romanoff #t'challa #gamora #thanos #thor: the dark world #thor: love and thunder #black panther #fic ideas

[citrucee]

man. it sucks that i feel the enjoyment of my art improved the most after i stopped posting to twitter and to a degree here. and honestly i barely draw anymore, i keep getting ideas but don’t really execute any of them outside of doodle pages (which i guess i could share here!) but on the topic of twitter: i really made my name there by being “the knight guy” to the point people would refer to me as that when we talked on discord, and it was fun! i liked the attention, i liked that my art would do well and people would like it. but when the knight art became the *only* thing that did well, it started to have a really negative effect. i feel like i conditioned myself to only draw the same kind of art with the same kind of coloring and the same kind of subject matter and the same kind of caption and same kind of blank background… because nothing else i did actually got any attention. after enough time it just completely sapped any drop of joy i felt from drawing knights. i ended up regularly getting anxiety about it and it felt more like something i had to do to keep an audience entertained rather than a genuine interest of mine. even now i still don’t draw any knights! it just doesn’t have the same joy for me anymore, which really sucks. and i remember seeing a knight artist i loved, who only drew the same two knight ocs, eventually ditch the entire concept and start telling people to stop asking them to draw knights entirely.i hate that i understand why they did that now. i wish i’d stopped posting sooner and started drawing my knight characters just for me, because maybe then i’d still feel motivated to draw them now. on the bright side, now that i cut myself off from social media a bit, i’ve felt more free to experiment with art and try different mediums and even different interests outside of art. my world feels broader in a weird way. i’m really into conlangs now

#txt #long post #it’s been a while since i made an overly personal rambling post #delete later #probably not gonna keep this on here #and i’m not saying i’m literally never gonna draw knights again #i do still like them #but i’m gonna have to find some way to rekindle the interest enough to want to draw them