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#i have a legitimate and non-meme reason for posting this:
gamebunny-advance · 2 years
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DJ Subatomic Supernova Hairy Legs Moodboard
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lucky-clover-gazette · 7 months
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fandom/feelings vent i just really wanted out of my system, seriously not targeted at any one person or thing:
there are few things that make me more uncomfortably aware of my attachment issues than seeing multishipping or polyshipping of fictional pairings i really care about. i think because i put so much of myself into writing about fictional relationships, and one of my greatest fears in a relationship would be my partner wanting to be open, it’s an understandable but not *valid* emotional response. but still, i live in my head, and have to manage it. it sucks.
like, i’ve drafted this post several times. i love fandom culture and shipping communities, and it sucks that a very present thing in those spaces is such a ridiculous sore spot for me. i feel like i’m less able to support people making cool things, who enjoy the same stories i enjoy.
i never want to degrade the comfort and importance stories and relationships like these have in people’s lives. i love creating things that are close to my heart, and the reasons i care about these characters and ships are roughly the same as anyone else’s.
but it’s really bad, man, the way this stuff gets to me. like, i’m sorry to overshare, but the idea of a ship i really care about being open legitimately makes me feel like a cornered prey animal. trouble breathing, tearing up, can’t focus on anything else, heart beating fast. i understand that this is not a normal response to such an inconsequential and somewhat avoidable stimulus. while i’m not about to share the reasons why i have this trigger, i can assure you they make sense as a source of trauma. the problem is that my irrational trauma response is not a valid equivalent to moral disgust or discomfort, and it’s really frustrating that i can’t just be neutral.
rationally, i know it’s all projection, and has nothing to do with these fictional characters or stories, or the people making fan content. but i also can’t deny the very real way my body physically reacts to even the notion of non-monogamy in relationships i care about.
and i’m not just talking fandom stuff here, i live in a city where more than half of the queer people my age seem to self-identify as ethically non-monogamous or poly. both in fandom and real life queer spaces, it’s almost like i’m missing out on the party because the way a lot of people like to party makes me feel profoundly trapped, powerless, betrayed, insulted, and abandoned, which are all feelings i do not handle well.
more than anything, i just wish i could be normal about this very present facet of fandom/shipping culture and even enjoy it on occasion. when it’s not like my “otp” or whatever i really don’t mind at all. i guess i just see so much almost aggressive positivity about like “character has two hands” memes and stuff like that, where it almost makes me feel like a bad person for needing monogamy for a fictional or real-life relationship to feel safe. and while i do believe open-mindedness should be a core tenant of social spaces, i also feel alone with these rotten feelings, and i can’t really channel them creatively in a way that wouldn’t just upset me or make other people feel bad.
there is no point to this post really, just kind of wondering if anyone has felt this way/has advice beyond the obvious and very valid basics like “only interact with content you want to see,” and “what works for some people does not have to work for you, and vice versa.” i seriously have no judgment of fandom friends multishipping or polyshipping, or the idea of those relationships themselves. mostly, the presence of those ideas just cause me an irrational amount of discomfort because of past experiences, and i wish i could fix that part of myself. not saying i ever want to be poly or write those kinds of stories, but not being embarrassingly triggered would be a great first step. and i guess ultimately it would just be nice to feel a little less alone about having this problem.
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a-big-apple · 4 days
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wip title ask meme
tagged by @beyoncesfiancee <3 <3 <3
Prompt: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them, and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.
so i have one wip doc per fandom with all the wips in it with an outline to help me find stuff, because that's how i roll for some reason, and there are legitimately SO MANY. so this is a non-exhaustive list of SU and TLT wip headings that are substantial enough to have snippets or enough notes to come back to and actually write something, i'm skipping all the things that are just a few lines of an idea and nothing else
SU:
Pearl and steven talking about time
Bisvolleypearl space vacation
The House On the Beach
PEARL’S HEDONIST 20’S FOR JEEJ aka dubious Sapphic activities
Moribito AU prequel
Pearl and Onion
Greg's Junk
Finding the deed to Greg’s uncle’s mansion - Amethyst POV
Rose Is Back/Multiverse idea
Pearl is hot fic
Volley Tops
Vibrant Pussy Culture
VOLLEYPEARL Volley gets creative!
TLT:
Upon this rock 2 electric boogaloo
Handcuffs
Pubescing
Figure Skating AU Part 2? Part 1.5?
Ficcer au
Cam and Pal's Totally Normal 20s
Planned Parenthood AU
PWP
Aiglamene fucked Wake fic
Pyrrha babysnatch au
[insert FTH fills here i don't want to spoil]
Notes for Baby Trap II
and yet again i know i always do this but tagging people stresses me out so i'm tagging YOU yes YOU if you're reading this and you've got wips then consider yourself tagged and tag me back!! i'm serious!!! i know my blog is often a place memes go to die but singling people out makes me twitchy!!
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thelonesomequeen · 1 year
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The fandom is falling apart. Deactivated blogs, people leaving, etc. Was it that bad during Jenny era?
No, not during Minka either. A section of fans hated Minka for non legitimate reasons like paps & a bit of trolling. That's immaturity, nothing to do with her as a good person. Jenny was disliked not only for trolling but her use of slurs in her jokes, fatphobia & bullying. She was immature, insecure & a bully. People left but nowhere near what's happening now because Minka & Jenny weren't racists.
Alba is a different league. It's not only her but her friend group too. They've engaged in cultrural appropiation, racist remarks & imagery towards indigenous people, blacks, Asians, & Jews. Then there's the fatphobia & bullying + trolling. Everything about her & her group shows that they are racist, immature, & insecure in their lives. I'd chalk it up to their young age for the immaturity BUT their age isn't an excuse for them to know what is or isn't racist. They've grown up in the 2000's, 2010's they should know better. 
Chris associating with them is far worse than his both sides website & the people he met for the website. That's work. This is choosing to spend yout free time with horrible people who've engaged in racism from 10 years ago to now. If they could do all that on their SM, what do they say or do in private. That's not something you grow out of & if they had any remorse for their actions those posts would've been gone long ago & never continued along with a sincere apology but none of that has occurred. Show me your friends & I'll show you who you are. Chris didn't post these racist remarks or like the racist memes on his SM but they did & his association & the lack of acknowledgement from any of them shows no remorse for the pain they've caused. They're all complicit in racism. That is why many have jumped ship. 
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That’s part of the reason. The other is because Chris has always publicly dated women close to him in age. A lot of fans don’t like that he’s dating someone so much younger than him and that such a wide age gap exists. They don’t like the idea that presents. I think another issue is that with Minka, a lot of fans were meh on her. Some weren’t bothered at all. Fans really disliked Jenny across the boards. I think most of the fans who stuck around or came back after they split hoped that she was maybe a one time mistake/bad choice in partner based on the awful person she was. Now that Chris is dating another person of questionable integrity, it has fans wondering who Chris moralistically is as a person now that it’s clearly a pattern of him not caring about who these people are that he dates. It shatters the idea of him that they’ve built up in their minds that he’s the kind of guy that wouldn’t stand by these types of questionable people 🦎
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spxcemuses · 10 months
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RULES.
Hello everyone, I'm Space and welcome to my semi-selective multimuse blog! My rules are listed below, make sure to read them before interacting/following! UPDATED: 2/21/2024 and WILL change with time.
GENERAL:
Age: I am a legal adult (22) and I RP with people who are 18 and older due to darker themes explored directly or indirectly on this blog, no exceptions.
"Personal" Blogs: AKA non-RP blogs on Tumblr. I have decided that I will block you regardless on if you like and/or interact with my posts. This is because I am a RP blog, which is different than a fiction/fan-blog, etc. Nothing against you or what you post, it's just for my own sanity. The only exception I'll make is if you are a RP hub blog and/or have RP sideblogs.
General: This blog is semi-selective, which means I am more open to mutuals and people I know. We don't have to be mutuals to write together, though. I have the right to not accept every RP. I may take a while to follow you back. Reblog memes/gif sets/etc. from the source instead of me please; I don't practice "reblog karma". Will block bots, minors, and non-RP blogs.
OOC Communication: I consider it important when it comes to discussing RP ideas and continuing/dropping threads. You don't have to be friends/etc. with me if you don't want to but I'm relatively chill to talk to! Discord is available to mutuals upon request!
Rules Passwords: I used to have a rules password but realized that a lot of people are anxious about sending them in and/or don't have them, so I will not have one. However, I will send rules passwords if you require them. I expect you to read/follow my rules if you plan to interact with me.
Turning Asks Into Threads: I am usually okay with asks turning into threads, no matter how long or short. However, I would like it if you asked me either in IMs or an ask to continue into a thread, especially if we have more than 3 threads.
Reply Speed: My reply speed is slow (usually a few weeks/a month) and varies depending on the muse/character you wish to write with. I have most of my posts set within the queue system. Please note that I may not write a muse you want/desire at any given point in time. If it's been 3+ months since I've replied, please pop into my IMs/Discord and remind me if you want! I'll also DM you to ask if you want to continue a thread or not.
Interest Tracker/Checker: [TBA].
Drama/Callouts: I do not tolerate OOC bigotry/drama on this blog and will hard-block people if those situations come up. I’m also anti-callout unless there’s legitimate evidence but even then, I make my own decisions/judgements. I don’t need/want people to ‘warn’ me about others in my inbox; this isn’t middle school anymore.
DNI: Speaking of drama, this is a new section I'm adding for my own safety and comfort. Do not interact with me if you go by these aliases: Aku/Grim*, Loke/Wards, Legend, Arke/Mocha, Hearty, Kier, Rosario/Whitley, Slurk, Shiloh/Spork, Boogey, Marrow, Stols, Mars, Skeptic, Pucca [tba if neccessary]. I have chosen to block these people out of my own choice, even if I did/didn't know them in the past or have RPed with them. I don't have ill-will against the people I've listed; I decided this because some have call-outs (most with legitimate evidence) and are considered problematic. That and I just don't feel comfortable interacting w/these people; it's that simple. Do not come at me to defend them or send hate to me about them; I choose whom I interact with. I will not be upset at you if you interact with or associate with these people (again, can't control whom others write with), but I want to avoid them as much as I can, thank you.
Unfollowing/Blocking: I usually softblock people for a myriad of reasons, but you're more than welcome to follow back if I've softblocked you and you want to write again/etc.. I don't mind if you ask me why I've softblocked you/etc. but I expect you to respect my decisions & be civil about it. If you want to cut ties with me entirely, hard-block me instead so I don't accidentally pester you and think that a Tumblr glitch happened or something. I hard block if you're problematic (and there's evidence/personal interactions) or if you've personally been rude/harassing to me.
ROLEPLAYING/INTERACTIONS:
Muse ≠ Mun: I am not my characters; the majority of my muses are antagonists/villains with bad morals. I do not support/condone the actions of my muses in any manner IRL. I will not “water down” my muses for you.
Triggers: There will be potentially triggering topics (directly or indirectly) on my blog. I will tag things accordingly with "trigger tw/trigger mention tw". I also have fandom-based tags that you may block. The list is HERE. Things I won't RP: bestiality/zoophilia, pedophilia, abortion/miscarriages, [TBA].
Writing: I am a RPer who writes 1-3 paragraphs in third person but can go longer if motivation calls for it. You do not have to match my length, but do not give me one-liners/just dialog when I give you a paragraph; that’s simply not fair. I will likely drop a thread if that happens unless it’s short from the start.
Interactions: This blog is crossover friendly, AU friendly, and OC friendly! I don't RP in Tumblr IMs nor RP w/personal blogs. My ask box is always open too, so feel free to send things in!
Dropping Threads: If you at any time want to drop a thread, feel free to but IM/message me first so I can remove it from RPThreadTracker and plan new interactions. I will likely do the same.
Plotting/Winging It: When it comes to RPs, I usually like to have light plotting/a general sense on where a thread will go; I don’t really “wing” things too often unless they're short interactions.
Relationships (general): Do not assume our muses have a relationship (unless they've interacted in canon). If you want pre-established relationships, please talk to me about it first.
Romantic Relationships: I am multiship, but am going to be more selective with it. I prefer to have chemistry/slow-burn threads between our muses after a couple of threads rather than insta-shipping. Some muses may not be applicable for romantic shipping, either. Do NOT use my muses for shipping material/no forced shipping. I do not ship incest or adult/minor ships.
Smut/NSFW: I have a sideblog that is very selective and low-activity. I expect our muses to have interacted at least once before writing NSFW content. I don't write smut with underaged characters or muns. If I find out you lied about your age to write smut with me, I'll hardblock on both blogs.
If you have read the rules & acknowledge them, please like this post here so I know!
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sophieinwonderland · 2 years
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Okay, I want to break down this post that made it to the top of the syscourse tag, especially since it was vagueing an earlier conversation with me.
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For the first point, the term "plural" was used specifically to distance itself from OSDD/DID, as an alternative to "multiple" which was more used in OSDD/DID spaces at the time. I assume then that this statement isn't about the term "plural" being intrinsically linked to DID/OSDD but rather, the concept of being multiple beings in one body itself.
And that, I feel, is an equally problematic claim. Spiritual possession has existed throughout the entire world in nearly every culture throughout human history. In contrast, OSDD/DID were only recognized as medical disorders in the past couple hundred years or so. Most plurality throughout history has been considered spiritual in nature. OSDD/DID systems don't own a monopoly on the concept, nor do they even make up the majority of people who could technically fall under the plural umbrella.
As for this hypothetical, sure, it can happen in some case. But OSDD and DID are already highly comorbid with a large number of other disorders. I legitimately wonder how many endo-identifying traumagenic systems with PTSD symptoms with suicidal ideation who aren't in therapy already would suddenly decide to seek help if they knew they had a dissociative disorder on top of that.
Most of the time, this is just stacking one extra diagnosis onto a pile. And if someone's not getting treated for other issues, why would they get treated for this one?
There's obviously value in getting the diagnosis for treatment purposes, but this seems like it could usually be worked out between therapists and patients naturally over the course of treatment for other conditions.
(By the way, I believe the statistic that this is referencing is that 70% of outpatients diagnosed with DID had attempted suicide. This is not a suicide rate. That's obviously way too high and I'm not saying this to minimize the statistic, but because I want to keep facts straight. Also, this study was focused strictly on DID, and did not include OSDD systems as the quote suggests.)
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It's never just been about how this hurts non-disordered plurals. That's narrow-minded. It's about how psychiatry as a whole handles and should handle mental health.
The focus of mental health programs is helping people reach a point that's healthy for themselves, not just stopping them from being "different."
For tulpamancy, specifically, many tulpamancers report improvements in symptoms of other disorders because of their plurality. It's likely the same would prove true for other non-OSDD/DID systems If a non-OSDD/DID system is seeking treatment for reasons unrelated to their plurality, trying to diagnose them with a dissociative disorder and convince them that a system that's been overall beneficial to their mental health is part of a disorder can be extremely harmful to the system's mental health.
In the case of someone with MDD who create a tulpa for companionship, the plurality should be seen as a form of treatment to an existing condition, not a disorder, and attempting to treat the plurality could deprive a "DISORDERED" person something that's helping them to heal.
But let's go beyond that and talk about religious considerations. Like I said, the first plurality was spiritual. Should all instances of possession where a spiritual identity takes over be considered pathological? What about voices?
The book When God Talks Back describes religious practices where certain evangelical Christian groups speak to "God" until they can have two-way conversations with it in ways that resemble mind-voice communication. (Also mentioned here.) Should we deem this form of voice-hearing inherently pathological due to similarities to certain hallucinatory experiences, even though the evangelicals (like the tulpamancers) report positive health benefits with no notable impairment?
I know some atheists have the meme that religion is a mental illness, but at what point would medicalizing all experiences of voice hearing and dissociative identity states become religious discrimination?
Finally, let's come back to how this affects disordered systems. You say that you're not saying systems need final fusion, and that's great. But you're supporting the same mentality that leads to that, by pathologizing the experience of plurality itself.
If plurality is inherently pathological, then why wouldn't final fusion be the ideal option for healing 100% of the time? That's the logic used by singlets who think final fusion is the only valid goal for therapy, and don't understand why any system would choose to remain plural.
When you shift the definition of a disorder to any experience of being different, you then subsequently shift the goal of therapy to reaching normalcy and fitting in with society rather than achieving a personal standard of health. And that's sanism.
In the end, I think we're lucky that the American Psychiatric Association is intelligent enough to acknowledge and recognize that not all presentations of similar symptoms should be considered pathological in the DSM-5, and it's integral that we continue to defend that going forward against people who would seek to medicalize non-medical experiences.
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Note
9, 16, 17, 18 24, 46 and 58.
9. Ukraine
i've been pretty neutral on the matter since the war, sympathizing with both sides of the conflict. however, lately my sympathy for ukraine has been rapidly drying up. i don't appreciate their sense of entitlement (or at least that of their government) and i don't appreciate how they don't seem to care about dragging america into a war where americans would surely die. i don't think a single american should have to die for ukraine. especially after today where they're calling for nato (america) to preemptively attack russia. fucking insanity.
but either way, i still maintain america should be neutral. i think we've gone above and beyond our obligation with regard to "security assurances" and we should leave them to their fate. i really don't care either way. they aren't our problem. america has no interests there. maybe if they beg us to annex them i will reconsider.
i believe in a more schmittian international order. with the world being divided into regional hegemonies. i think ukraine, being right on the border of russia, falls pretty square into russia's sphere of influence, not america's. i have more complicated thoughts on the matter but this is the gist of my feelings right now.
16. Joe Biden
i don't like him. i think he's a senile puppet. i think he's an embarrassment.
17. Non-fungible tokens
i'm not super educated on the subject but from what little i do know i think it could potentially have some interesting applications but, unfortunately, right now it mostly seems to be used for grifting.
18. Taiwan's status
i not only view them as independent but also believe they have the legitimate claim to rule the nation of china.
i do take issue with their drifting too far from their original ideals and i recognize the complexities of their own self-identity. i'm just saying. if they wanted to take over china i'd support it.
i'm only half-memeing. i really do believe that but i understand it's not realistic. so /realistically/ i just view taiwan as /de facto/ an independent country. i think right now the us has some legitimate interests here and so i would be more open to intervention in defense of taiwan vs ukraine, for example.
24. Space colonization
very big advocate for space colonization. i think it should be one of america's top priorities right now, and thankfully it seems to be climbing back up the list. seriously i'm /very/ pro-space colonization. i want to colonize the moon, mars, mine asteroids, build space elevators, etc. i want to do it all as soon as possible. i have talked about this elsewhere but not only do i think it has all kinds of tangible, pragmatic benefits (assuring post-scarcity) but i also view it as a sacred duty, for reasons i've elaborated upon elsewhere.
46. Transhumanism
i have mixed feelings about this. for me, it really depends on a lot of factors. i'm generally in favor of using technology to /improve/ the human condition /within reason/. i tend to oppose when it goes to far, especially when it starts reaching the point of altering the /nature/ of the human condition. as always, i believe any new technology should be handled wisely and with great caution.
so yeah. i'm ambivalent. pro and anti depending on the specific technology and its intended goal.
58. Universal healthcare
highly support it. i think this should be another priority for america. i'm a very proud american but i think america's lack of universal healthcare when so many other western countries have it is a mark of shame.
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cookingwithroxy · 1 year
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I posted 3,615 times in 2022
200 posts created (6%)
3,415 posts reblogged (94%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@takashi0
@siryouarebeingmocked
@someoneintheshadow456
@arc-hammer
@true-king-of-monsters
I tagged 69 of my posts in 2022
#youtube - 34 posts
#my oc's - 8 posts
#n4n1 cybergoth - 2 posts
#yadda yadda - 2 posts
#now i'm going to go back to my true calling - 1 post
#dullahan girl - 1 post
#sorry about the delay tumblr hates this ting for some reason - 1 post
#the gentleman mage - 1 post
#won't be till christmastime most likely but yesss - 1 post
#yeah when i get the funds i need to get my mage done in this style - 1 post
Longest Tag: 123 characters
#and really our issues in the other thread is over us not being able to get eachother to understand why our views don't mesh
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I think part of the problem when discussing Cyberpunk in general and cybernetics in specific is that there are some very very deep questions that the idea raises. What makes a person a person, how much will changes to your body affect you psychologically? Is there a legitimate question of psychological disorders that might arise from the intentional removal of healthy tissue for non-organic replacements? At what point do you stop being a person and start being just a very structurally unsound CPU for a robot?
And then you ask those questions there's some jackass who feels obligated to jump in and say 'How dare you, that's my fetish there can be NOTHING wrong with the idea and you're a bigot for even asking if there could be!'
And I'm just left here going 'I legitimately don't care if you want to be Adrián Barbeaubot, I just want to ask these questions of the little mouse who's taken over the hollowed out spaces where your brain used to be and is now piloting your body like a meat mecha.'
256 notes - Posted September 21, 2022
#4
As I fucking thought, Uvalde police waited while people bled out, and the Border Patrol had to step in just to go after the shooter...
And what's more, the Uvalde Police DID NOT EVEN EVACUATE OTHER STUDENTS. Jesus fucking christ.
262 notes - Posted June 23, 2022
#3
'Is the reason why people do not see government run industry as a monopoly because they are presented as services instead' is a very interesting question and a valid one to be asked. Because jesus now that I think of it, that literally IS my perspective on things, that I do not object to the State doing certain things because they are 'services', that these are the tasks I hire the government to do, and ONLY want the government doing.
But honest to fuck that I had to do this journey of self-discovery all on my own because ancaps can't be fucking bothered to think past their own biases is a fucking trip.
306 notes - Posted September 22, 2022
#2
You know, simple thought that struck me yesterday but I didn't really have the specifics of what I wanted to say until this morning?
the whole KPP thing proves without a shadow of a doubt that so many people on this website would have gleefully become nazi's. Not because they're somehow racist, that's not the thing.
But because when they were given a meme and a target, they gleefully jumped into making a person's life hell, just for the fun of it, lifted up by the bullshit excuse that they were attacking a 'worthy' target.
They didn't have any knowledge of the situation, they didn't have context, they had an 'acceptable' target and a 'fun!' way of attacking them. And so they did it, without any prompting.
Without any profit, any threats against them, without anything to force their hands. They just attacked, for the pure joy of attacking, and considered themselves heroic in doing so.
And so many of them, I'm sure, will take this statement as harassment of THEM, for pointing out that they did no good thing in this.
It's just how Tumblr is.
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401 notes - Posted May 5, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
You know, with all the people going 'why are you bitching about LGBT characters being put into media' I'm starting to wonder if ANY of you have heard about the Iceman debacle.
446 notes - Posted February 22, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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winterheiress · 2 years
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#WINTERHEIRESS     -    a writing blog for Elsa of Arendelle.  exploring themes of depression and mental health,  found family,  reconnecting,  realizing one’s person hood,  control of one’s abilities,  happiness,  self control,  self doubt,  and the journey to self healing.
about   psd credit   icon border psd credit second psd credit
affiliated with @solishearted 
rules under cut.
if you like my header and dash icon please consider commissioning @beckowskysgraphicscommissions who made them for me.
this is a highly private and selective mutuals only blog. if you are not following me, please do not interact with any starter calls, inbox calls, meme calls, relationship calls, etc. non-mutuals are allowed to ask questions but anything roleplay related is strictly mutuals only.
if you follow me, that is taken as a sign of interest. if i am interested in writing with you then i will return the follow. if i deem that there is no interest at any point, i will softblock for my own comfort. you are free to soft block / unfollow for your own comfort.
i am open to shipping of all kinds within reason. This is a disclaimer that I do not ship Helsa (Hans and Elsa) do to my own personal reasons but I will never attack anyone who does. I do not ship incest pairings either for obvious reasons. Muses must be of age to engage in a ship with Elsa.
this blog will not write with anyone below the age of 21+ for mun comfort.
this blog currently does not use a rl fc but this may change in the future.
i do engage in mains and exclusives, including ship exclusives. I am duplicate friendly and encourage other Elsa’s, but I do not follow first in case others are not.
racism, homophobia, transphobia, and nonbinary phobia is not allowed here. if you are found to be racist, homophobic, or transphobic in any way, you will be hardblocked.
icons given to me by double-knots. I also have made my own on occasion.
DNI if you are transphobic, homophobic, racist, or refuse to use someone’s preferred pronouns.
I do not reblog callout posts, but if someone is legitimately problematic or dangerous, I will hard block them to avoid interaction and I will review evidence in private.
If I ever do anything to upset you, please know I am open to communication and you may always speak to me in private without fear. I aim to create an open and accepting environment. I am always willing to learn from past mistakes and better myself.
if you have read the rules pls dm me “show yourself” and then one interesting fact about yourself!
About mun: Frost he/they. 30+ and tired. Ask me about my bunnies: Snowball and Marshmallow. They’re my whole world.
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bonnie-is-bumbling · 1 year
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Oh, man is my anxiety high lately. It's troubling not to know if it's because of something real, or if ye olde AFAB body is not being fab.
I have PCOS which, to stay short and sweet, means I have a bit more testosterone in me than your normal AFAB person will. This causes PMS, periods, and cycles to go absolutely out of whack. If you're curious about it, I highly reccomend Google. Or you can ask me, but know I am absolutely NOT a medical professional. I work at a bloody hotel. I can tell you what I do know, and I can tell you what I gather from that, and my own thoughts on it- But I repeat: I am NOT a medical professional.
But this post was about anxiety, so let's hop back to that.
Today, I got on Facebook. Not because I regularly use it. In the spirit of honesty- I use it 99.9% for memes. But today, I had a question, one that had been burning a hole in my mind.
For some context: I live in a town of about 9000 people (about half-ish of which are the inmates of the state prison, which is hosted in our town.) We are about 100 miles (roughly 161 km) from any larger civilization. That said, if you make a fool of yourself, the whole town knows. The windiest in the state, and sitting at an elevation of 7000 feet (2.13 km), I really wondered about our local airport.
I hopped onto the local Facebook group and for WEEKS I had let this question burn- I was so bloody scared that I was just making a fool of myself. Or that I was asking in the wrong group and would be mocked. People would see me and go "That's the dumb kid that asked a question she should have already known the answer to!" Or "What are you asking about aviation for? You work at a hotel!"
People really aren't usually so mean. But my brain immediately thought they would be, just because it was me asking, and not someone more qualified to ask.
When I finally jumped the gun tonight and asked, I told myself "You know what? SOME people are going to be assholes. But this is a non-offensive question. It's a reasonable question, and I'm going to state at the beginning AND end of my post that I'm legitimately just curious on how pilots take off and land at our mountainous, windy airport that's subject to the cruel winters and thick ice.
And I was pleasantly surprised.
People actually were up and willing to answer my question, and it sparked conversation that was neither mean, nor degrading. Nobody thought my question was silly, childish, ridiculous, or dumb. And in retrospect, it really isn't a dumb question. Maybe not a commonly asked one is all. And that's okay.
It just seems I over thought once more. And as many of us with anxiety can probably relate to- I always have to think things through. But I worry- Am I not thinking deep enough into it?... And here begins the spiral- I start thinking waaaay too hard and it just grows more and more negative- Sometimes driving me into utter inaction. It's not better to just sit and wonder than look stupid, but my brain will absolutely convince me it is.
Tomorrow, my 17 year old dog meets his new groomer. I'm absolutely worried about what the groomer will think. But I have to keep in mind that my dog is 17, and is expected to look, feel, and act like a REALLY old dog. The groomer is related to his recently retired groomer, and is aware of his age, condition, warts, blindness and all. She is also very aware that he's a dog with a constantly snuggly and licky attitude. Groomers know animals. She's been at it for decades, and likely has seen worse.
This is all affirming, but my brain is so obsessed with this thought I wish it would quit bringing up. This thought is that on this dog of healthy weight, happy temperament, and wiggly tail, she's gonna see his rough skin and have him taken. Which in reality, worst that would happen is I would be told "Hey, I can't groom him today, but you should ask the vet about [insert whatever here]."
My dog, a cocker spaniel at seventeen years old, is a good 24 pounds, always on the move, eats, sleeps, drinks, potties, plays. His hair, though thinning, is shiny and soft, free of matting. For seventeen, he is absolutely doing well, and I know my brain is being utterly irrational.
And for me, that's the hardest part of anxiety.
For me, anxiety is almost always very irrational. My house settles, as a 123 year old house does with changing temperatures. It's spring time here, and so the old bones are having a stretch. My roof is fine. I have personally checked. And yet my brain still reacts as if the house is about to just cave in... And with all the literal proof I have, I'm well aware my brain is talking nonsense.
It's absolutely irritating to know something, but have a nagging little voice in the head telling you you're wrong, always wrong, in danger all the time, not safe, error 404 braincell not found. It makes me mad at myself, upset that I can't make a decision, I can't make a move, feel stupid for asking for help. I don't know everything, and that's a fact. But I know SOME things, and my own brain treats me as if I don't. Not without absolute proof. Proof not even a 'Karen' can argue with. Proof that NOBODY can deny... And do you know how impossible that is?
I don't need seven scientists to tell me I'm safe to sit down in this chair or ask a question to quench my curiosity. Really, why can't my own mind and I be in sync? I blame anxiety. It could be something more, or I could just be an incompetent buffoon like my brain insists and treats me like. I don't entirely know, but I will say it's absolutely turbulent and irks the hell out of me.
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samrriegel · 3 years
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As creators, it’s important that we strive to create a positive relationship between our content and community while still retaining our rights. With this in mind, we’d like to share our new content policy covering how you can use our IP.
(you can click the link embedded above or click the readmore. there is a lot of text!)
Everyone at Critical Role is extremely honored and humbled by the interest our incredible community has shown in the stories that we tell, the shows that we produce, and our company in general. We think it’s pretty amazing that our fans want to create artwork, websites, and other works (“Projects”) based on our intellectual property (“IP”). Our IP includes any unique material our team creates — things like the names of our campaigns (for example, Vox Machina and Mighty Nein), our characters (for example, Grog Strongjaw or Beauregard Lionett), story locations (like Whitestone or Nicodranas), company slogans (such as How Do You Want to Do This?), as well as written content and all related artwork, music, etc. We are generally cool with Projects that follow the rules outlined below, but we reserve the right to remove Projects that, in our view, misrepresent these rules or use our IP inappropriately. We want our fans to continue celebrating our world and sharing their talents with the community, but for Critical Role (“CR”) to exist as a company, our legal advisors have suggested we establish some ground rules for how our IP can be used!
1. What can I develop with Critical Role’s intellectual property (“IP”)?
Free stuff for the community to view, with some exceptions. Critical Role allows you to use, display and create derivative works based upon Critical Role’s IP, strictly for noncommercial (except as specifically provided below) community use. CR reserves the right to use our sole discretion to deny anyone the use of our IP at any time, for any reason or no reason. If we deny you the right to use our IP, you must stop developing, publishing, or distributing your Project immediately.
In all cases, the use of our IP with your Projects must be appropriate for our Critter Community. Projects cannot be defamatory, offensive (including but not limited to anything transphobic, sexist, homophobic, racist, ableist, ageist), or harmful to others (as determined solely by CR).
2. Can I create a project that is commercial in nature?
You may not create commercial Projects, including any Project that (without a written license agreement from us):
i) crowdsources any portion of its funding; ii) involves a business or legal entity; iii) gates the content with a paywall (e.g., Patreon, YouTube Premium, etc.), unless it is also legitimately available elsewhere for free; or iv) involves the sale of merchandise utilizing CR IP
We prohibit the use of our IP in interactive games, apps, and downloads. Please do not take any part of our IP (e.g., character appearance, character abilities, maps, icons, items, etc.) and use it in a game or app for other than your own private, noncommercial use. We do not allow any Projects utilizing our IP to appear in any app stores, including the Apple Store or Google Play, unless they have a written license agreement from us.
No monetized novels, theatricals or the like. You are not permitted to write, produce or create any novels, theatrical productions or other adaptations that include CR’s intellectual property without our express written permission.
Fan fiction is generally permitted (and enjoyed!) by CR, as long as the content is not monetized and otherwise follows the guidelines of this policy.
You are not permitted to manufacture, promote, or distribute (for free or otherwise) any merchandise (such as apparel, game pieces, accessories, etc.) that bear any CR IP without a separate, express written agreement between you and Critical Role.
Critical Role, on occasion, collaborates with and licenses third parties for the creation and distribution of Official CR Merchandise. These agreements are separate from this CR Fan Content Policy.
3. What about passive ad revenue?
This is one of those exceptions we mentioned earlier. We permit fans to promote their Projects on websites, streams, or videos and passively generate revenue through appropriate advertisements, including pre-roll ads, ad breaks, and sponsor ad overlays. No inappropriate direct ads or sponsorships—we alone decide what qualifies as inappropriate, but if you won’t see it on Critical Role, it is probably not appropriate.
We permit individual fans to solicit personal donations or offer subscription-based content while livestreaming, so long as non-subscribers can still watch the live stream concurrently. In other words, you may have your Project behind a paywall, so long as the Project is legitimately also available for free in some other way.
Your use of CR Content must be transformative in nature. You cannot simply re-upload our content. Examples of potential transformative works include:
Animatics
Compilation videos
Remix edits
Added commentary
Music/ music videos
Cosplay content
Art / draw alongs
GIFs / memes
React videos
For longform CR content: Originally 2 hours or more in length (e.g., Critical Role, Exandria Unlimited, and One-Shots)
CR allows your passive monetization of under 10 minutes of content usage per episode
CR may claim monetization or execute an automatic takedown for over 10 minutes of content usage per episode
For medium-length CR content: Originally between 1-2 hours in length (e.g., Between the Sheets, Narrative Telephone)
CR allows your passive monetization for under 5 minutes of content usage per episode
CR may claim monetization or execute an automatic takedown for over 5 minutes of content usage per episode
For short CR content: Under 60 minutes (e.g., Handbooker Helper, All Work No Play)
CR may claim monetization or execute an automatic takedown, which includes any “clips” or “memes”
4. Can my Project make reference to Critical Role?
We’d love that! Just make sure that your Project follows the other guidelines in this policy and clearly let people know it is a fan Project and not an official CR Project. That is, you are not permitted to state or imply that your Projects are affiliated with, sponsored, or approved by Critical Role. You may not create a Project in a manner that could cause other Critters to believe that it is an official CR work. If you share your Project with others, please conspicuously include the following disclaimer (e.g., on your Project’s website):
Portions of the materials used may contain trademarks and/or copyrighted works of Critical Role. This material is not official, is provided for free, noncommercial entertainment purposes only, and is not endorsed by Critical Role.
5. Can I create CR-related video content before the content is available on Critical Role’s YouTube channel?
No. Please be considerate. So it’s clear, any posting or other unauthorized disclosure of CR-created content prior to its official release on YouTube (or an authorized media-sharing platform) is strictly prohibited. In regards to spoilers, even after an episode’s release, spoilers can ruin a fan’s experience and we always aim to avoid them. Please be respectful of others and do not deliberately push plot reveals on people who are actively avoiding learning about them. If you are releasing fan content after its official release on the CR YouTube channels, we ask that you please offer spoiler disclaimers (or appropriate hashtags) as a courtesy.
6. What about CR fan art that’s shared publicly during or after a livestreamed RPG broadcast and before the VOD is available on YouTube?
Boy, we love ourselves some amazing Critter fan art. We also want to ensure that artists are taking every precaution not to spoil an episode before its official release on the CR YouTube channel. Please ensure that your artwork is not audiovisual in nature and follows the guidelines set forth in this policy. Again as a general courtesy, please include spoiler disclaimers (or appropriate hashtags) whenever possible.
7. Is all content in a Critical Role video available for use?
No. Certain CR videos contain music or other content that Critical Role doesn’t own. Critical Role, at times, enters into licenses with 3rd party content providers to enhance CR videos for viewing. Since CR cannot grant you a license to use someone else’s content, you’ll need to get permission from the copyright owner(s) before using their content. If you include non-Critical Role music or other content in your video, do so at your own risk. Your video could be subject to filtering or takedown notices by the owner of the copyright in the original work.
8. Can I use Critical Role’s Logos or Trademarks?
Generally, no, and only in limited instances. Use of Critical Role’s brands, logos, character names, actor names, actor and character likenesses and other IP are only to be used in connection with the discussion of Critical Role works, Official Products and non-commercial Projects in compliance with this Policy. Critical Role expressly prohibits uses of its Trademarks to promote your business or merchandise. You may not register domain names, social media accounts, or similar stuff that uses any of our trademarks, trade names, character names, etc. without expressed written consent.
You definitely may not use any CR trademarks as keywords, titles, or search tags for products that are infringing or counterfeit.
9. Can Critical Role use my Project?
Yes. We want fans to create and share cool things with each other, and we want to remove barriers to sharing. Because you are using Critical Role IP, if we celebrate or spotlight a fan Project, or make something that somehow resembles a fan Project, by posting it publicly you give Critical Role permission to spotlight or share your Project with the world. By using Critical Role IP in the creation of your Project you give CR authorization to share your Project in any way at our sole discretion. Critical Role will always attempt to contact artists in these instances and/or provide proper artist credit whenever possible.
10. What if my Project is not covered here?
If your creative efforts are not covered by this Policy, you’ll need our prior, written approval before you put it out in the world. If you have any questions or creative content you want to make that isn’t covered by this Policy, contact us by sending us an email to [email protected]. Written approval is required for Projects that are outside of the scope of this policy.
If you don’t hear from us, it does not mean we approve of your requested use of our IP.
11. Anything else?
Yes. Critical Role reserves the right to change this Policy at any time with no notice whatsoever, but we’ll do our best to communicate any changes widely as soon as we can in the interest of remaining transparent with you.
Please note that we are constantly developing new content and creating new IP that will fall under these guidelines.
Thank you so much for your attention to this policy. Our main goal is to ensure that the Critical Role community remains creative and vibrant as it’s always been. Our content policy will protect what we own today for the long haul so that we can continue to create magic for all of you for many years to come. If you have any questions at all, please reach out to us at [email protected] or via critrole.com/contact.
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bqstqnbruin · 4 years
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I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair
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I reached that 500 followers everyone! So in celebration of all the people who I love dearly, this is the first part of my 10 things I hate about you series that I’m doing. 
Heads up that the next part might take a while to post, especially since I’ve been posting the work I get each week, y’all see the amount of stuff I have to do. Part two is already started, but it’s just gonna be a minute before it’s ready.
I hope you guys like it, and thank you again for 500 followers 💛💛💛
Read the whole series:  I hate the way you talk to me and the way you cut your hair // I hate the way you drive my car // I hate it when you stare // I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind // I hate you so much it makes me sick, it even makes me rhyme // I hate the way you’re always right // I hate it when you lie // I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry // I hate it when you’re not around, and the fact that you didn’t call // But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all
________________________
“How long are we going to keep dancing around the fact that you and I are meant for each other?” 
“How long is it going to take you to understand that I hate so much about you?”
-------------
“Alright, chica, are we meeting the guys there, or are we stopping by their place? What’s the plan for tonight?” Evelina asks, sitting down on the couch next to you.
“Last I heard, we were meeting them at their place but if you don’t get ready fast enough, we have to meet them there,” you tell her, lifting her off the couch before she can get too comfortable and make you late.
Your phone buzzed in your hand, your other best friend texting you a stupid meme that he found online, followed by a sexual innuendo that was normal for your friendship. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at how he talked to you, a stupid smile covering your face as you drag Evelina to her room in the hopes that she’ll get ready in a timely manner.
“Is that your man?” she asks, sitting down in front of her mirror, hopefully, to start her makeup. 
“He’s not my man,” you protest, not tearing your eyes off your phone, responding to him with an equally snarky and somewhat crude response.
“You’re sexting him as we speak. I can tell, you have that stupid grin on your face that you only get when it’s him replying to you,” she fires back, starting on her makeup. God you hoped she wouldn’t put much on tonight; you were supposed to be meeting the guys in half an hour at one of their houses. 
Her comment, however, makes you look up from your phone. “I don’t think you know what sexting is. I am fully clothed. This is not sexting.”
“I will look up the definition of sexting and make us late. But, are you really wearing that tonight?” she asks you, making eye contact with you through her mirror just in time for her to see you roll your eyes. “Take something from my closet; if you’re going to see him tonight then you need to be wearing something better. You get up from her bed in a huff, going to her closet to try to find something there that was remotely your style. Evelina’s clothes were great, they just weren’t things that you would wear. “And you don’t need clothing off just to consider it sexting.”
“He’s literally just my other best friend. Maybe you’re jealous that I’m closer to him than I am to you!” you yell to her from her closet. “And hurry up with the makeup or I’m picking out your outfit.” 
“That’s mean,” she says, a slight dig on your sense of style, or lack thereof. “I just need my eye makeup, calm down.” She leaves you in silence to rummage through her wardrobe. You hope that her non-follow up meant that she had dropped the conversation topic about your admittedly weird relationship with him. 
She eventually meets you in her closet, pulling out the perfect outfit for herself in a matter of seconds while you struggle to find something. There was a reason why you were wearing the jeans and sweater you already had on; you didn’t like anything else at this point. “What about this?” she asks, handing you a crop top and a flannel to go over it. You give her an unsure look, not really wanting to change at it was. “Come on!” she begs, “This is so much sexier than what you have on now.”
“Why do I need to be sexy?” you argue, taking the clothes from her and changing into them anyway. 
She rolls her eyes, knowing that the two of you have the same conversation nearly every week. “You literally sext him constantly,” she repeats in a sing-songy voice. 
“It’s not sexting!” you say at the same time, her mimicking you with a slightly higher pitched voice than the one you already make. “You clearly like him. You never come home with me when we go out with them.”
“Maybe that’s because I go home with someone else.” 
She laughs, calling your bluff, “You go home with the same curly-haired boy every single week. Admit it: you’re in love with Matthew and he’s in love with you.” 
“We’re. Just. Friends,” you argue again, going out to see how the outfit looks on you. “Are you sure this looks alright?” As much as you hated the idea of the crop top, revealing as much skin as you did, she was right that it looked better on you than the sweater.
“Something’s missing,” she says, standing behind you. “And you literally send me a Snapchat from his bed every weekend. He’s never wearing a shirt in those snaps, I might add.”
She leaves you to stare at yourself in the mirror. She could not be more wrong about your feelings for him: he was your best friend, that was it. “He just sleeps without a shirt, the same way you don’t wear pants when you sleep. That’s right, I know you put those shorts on when you wake up.”
“We’re roommates. You know everything about me. That’s not a weird thing to know,” she says. “Why are you so stubborn to admit that you like him?”
“I hate way more about him than I like,” you try to counter. The same argument every week meant that you were running out of original ideas about how to tell her the same thing.
She comes out of her closet, holding a pair of black wedge booties, shoving them in your hands. “Name one thing you hate about him.”
“I hate the way he wears his hair. He’s got amazing curls and yet he lets them hang over that weird side shave of his? Either have it shaved like he did when he was drafted, or go full curls. Pick one.”
She rolls her eyes, getting her own shoes on as your phone buzzes on her bed. “That’s weak. He’s also texted you five times in the last ten minutes.”
“Probably because he’s wondering why we’re running late, even though he knows you’re never on time for anything.” She tosses you your phone. You see the messages asking you where you are, telling you to just meet them there because the guys got too antsy waiting for the two of you to be on time for once. “That’s something I hate about you: you’re always late,” you tell her, hoping that she would drop the subject.
“Join the club. So does my mom.” She gets up, pulling you up with her and admiring the two of you in the mirror before turning to face you. “If you can think of ten things that you hate about Matthew Tkachuk, ten legitimate things that overpower your ability to love him, then I will drop the subject of you and him dating entirely until you bring it up yourself.”
You look at her, trying to figure out if she were serious or not. You loved Evelina more than anyone, definitely more than you loved Matthew, who you didn’t love at all. But her biggest fault was her constant need to gossip. “Does the hair thing count? And how long do I have to come up with the list?”
“Fine. And I’ll give you a month, starting now. In one month, if you don’t have nine more reasons for hating him, then you’re going to hear about how you and him should be together until you get married. If not, then you have to ask him out on a date.”
You hesitate for a moment, not wanting to have to ask him out if you can’t give her the ten satisfactory reasons. But, come on, you could think of so many things you hated about him, just none are coming to mind. “Deal,” you decide, grabbing her hand to lead her out the door.
“You will get married to him, though. I’ll be maid of honor obviously.”
“Keep this up and you won’t even be invited, and neither will Matthew because I won’t be marrying him.”
“We both know that you’re going home with him tonight,” she says, referencing the point she made earlier.
You couldn’t go home with Matthew tonight, and you knew it. If you didn’t have someone else to go home with, then you would have to, though. Or you could just go to your actual home. Pulling up your messages, you type out a message to Matthew: ‘Unless we can both find someone we’re interested in, then we go home with each other alright?’
‘So, both of us go home with someone or we go home with each other?’
‘Yeah, sound good?’ You didn’t care if he wanted that or not. You had to convince Evelina that you weren’t interested in Matthew, first with the list, second with going home with someone else. 
‘Just come home with me, like you always do. We can do something different tonight if you’re interested?’ he replies, earning an eye roll from you. 
‘Like what?’
‘We obviously both know what we want from each other’
‘Haha, no.’
‘Sad but fine :(’ he sends. Staring at his phone, the three dots appearing and disappearing as you try to find the words to say to him, he wanted nothing more than to be the one who took you home tonight. 
You and Evelina get to the bar, not really wanting to see the boys. As soon as Matthew saw you, you knew he would have his hands all over you, but that was it. He would never try to kiss you or anything, even if he wanted to. Even if you were oblivious to the fact that he wanted to.
The entire thing was just confusing. You loved the relationship you had with him, but you knew it was never going to go anywhere. You didn’t want it to. You just had to find someone else to go home with tonight. Ideally, you would fall in love with them and never have to think about Matthew as more than your friend for the rest of your life. 
Scanning the bar, you couldn’t see anyone that remotely interested you, other than the usual suspects. The boys had led you to a bar that you’ve frequented enough times that the bartenders knew your drink order on sight. It also meant that you’ve seen the patrons of the bar enough times to know that unless someone new walked through that entrance door tonight, you were going home with Matthew. Unless you could convince one of his teammates to go home with. Maybe you could go home with Elias? Or Noah, worst case. 
The same group of friends that was there every weekend was sitting in the front corner, a group of college students who were probably underage sitting in the back, some wine moms probably talking about how horrible their husbands are for buying the wrong brand of designer purse for their birthday presents were sitting in the front. The guys and now Evelina for that matter were nowhere to be seen, meaning they were in the back room, probably hoarding the pool table, like they did every time you guys came here. Not seeing the guys also meant not seeing Matthew. 
But that didn’t mean he couldn’t see you. As soon as Evelina bounced into the room, his mind was occupied with the thought of finding you. Then when she told him that you were dressed in some of her clothing? He could feel himself going crazy trying to picture what you were wearing, knowing some of the outfits he had seen your roommate in. All he had to do was convince you not to go home with another guy. That was going to be easy, right? He stands by the bar, out of your line of site, just to admire how you looked. Evelina knew damn well what she was doing when she picked that outfit for you. She had to know seeing you in that would drive Matthew crazy like it was. 
You nearly forgot about him, thinking only of your options of who you could go home with when you felt him come up behind you, your entire body tensing up as his hands snaked their way around your waist, pulling you close to him. Your breath stopped when his thumb hooked onto the belt loop of your jeans. He leaned in, his hot breath sending a chill down your spine, letting out a whisper, “Just come home with me tonight. I’m gonna make you cum so hard.”
You exhale, rolling your eyes, running your tongue over your teeth. You knew he would say something like that to you; it was the exact type of statement that you would text each other constantly. He couldn’t see the smirk on your face that you know would drive him crazy. “What, to my senses?” you whisper back. His hands drop long enough for you to turn around to face him, draping your arms on his shoulders just for him to pull you back in to him, leaving no space to escape with your back pressed to the bar counter. “Don’t be crude. You know our deal, Matthew. We just made it, you can’t be that forgetful.”
“And who do you see here that you would be remotely interested in besides me?” he teases. “The guy macking on a girl on the other end of the bar, or the college kids who may or may not be legal?”
“The night is young, Rat Man,” you call him the nickname you knew he despised, ruffling your hands in his hair, tangling your fingers in the curls. “Maybe instead of looking at me, try going for those girls that just came in already can’t seem to keep their eyes off you.” You motion to the table of girls sending you daggers just over Matthew’s shoulders. 
“Why would I do that when I have you already right in my arms?”
You lean in, running your hands down his body. You could feel his heart racing at your touch, knowing you were driving him crazy with every word you uttered, “Because we both know that’s not something we do,” you tease him, getting an idea as the guys filter into the main bar area. “Worst-case scenario, I’ll go home with Elias.” 
He pulls away from you, trying to hide the pain he was feeling from coming through on his face. “Why would you do that?” 
“Have you seen Lindy? You know I’ve always had a crush on him, why not act on that?”
“Because I would hate that?” he questions. You had to know he would hate that. There’s no way you could be so oblivious to the fact that his ‘jokingly sexual texts’ weren’t joking for the most part, right? 
“Maybe that’s why I do it,” you tease. Nope, you were oblivious. Even though Evelina had told you earlier, you thought she was lying. “So, where is he?”
Matthew bites his lip, debating on telling you where his teammate was or not. He couldn’t let you go home with Elias, but you know he’s single. He could just tell you that he didn’t come tonight, but then what happens when you spot him. What if he just said Lindy had started seeing someone recently? “I don’t know,” is all he can tell you. He can’t lie to you. Not if this was something that had the potential to make you happy. 
“Then I’m gonna go find him,” you say, kissing him on the cheek and weaseling your way out from his grip. You were determined not to go home with him tonight. Evelina was wrong about the two of you being in love, and this was the first step in proving it. Actually, the second, the list was the first step. You just needed nine more things.
“What the hell was that?” Matthew hears a voice snap him out of the trance you sent him into while he watched you walk away to find his teammate. He looks next to him, Evelina sitting there. He could not read the girl to save his life: was she mad? Was she actually confused? The girl only showed emotion with her voice. Either that or Matthew was just oblivious when it came to reading her.
“What are you talking about?” he pretends not to know, signaling to the bartender to get him another drink. If he had to watch you go home with his friend, he might as well be able to forget about it come morning. 
She rolls her eyes at him. “I just had this conversation with her. How are you both so dumb?” she says off to the side before sighing and looking at Matthew, “You clearly both love each other.” 
Matthew looks at her, the panic written all over his face. “Wh-what?” he stammers out. No one knew he’s liked you for a while now. At least, he hadn’t told anyone. Was he that obvious? Of course he was obvious, he blatantly flirted with you all the time. “We are not in love with each other.”
“Oh, stop lying, everyone but Y/N knows that’s not true. You two will be going out on a date by the end of the month,” she says, staring down at her drink. The confidence in her voice was baffling, considering Matthew didn’t even think he could ever convince you to actually date him. How did Evelina do it? 
“You’re one of the first people to tell me that I’m an idiot so I really need you to give me more explanation. We both know I can never figure out what you’re saying to me.”
She sighs, taking a long sip of her drink. “I made a bet with her: if she can come up with ten things that she hates about you by the end of the month, then I’ll stop talking about you two for the rest of your lives. If not, then y’all are going on a date.”
Matthew could feel himself starting to panic. “Only ten things? Are you joking? There are at least five guys in the NHL who could think of fifty. My own teammates probably have thousands. My dad probably hates more things about me than he likes!” he starts to spit out. This was not going to end well, and he knew it.
“Oh, come on,” she says, rolling her eyes yet again. “If she really didn’t like you, then she would have come up with something better than the way you shave the side of your head like that.” 
He subconsciously lifts his hand to run it along the shaved sides she was talking about. “That’s all she could think of?”
“That’s it. I know Y/N better than anyone: she’s going to try to think of ten things and she’s not going to come up with them and she’s finally going to realize that she loves you.”
“This is either going to be great or awful.”
“Which one do you want it to be?”
“Great, obviously, but how are you sure it’ll end up with the two of us together?”
She looks at him and just smiles. He couldn’t tell if it was because she was trying not to laugh at how dumb he was or because she was genuinely happy or hopeful. “She’s going to figure out that you like because and love despite. It’s a saying for a reason.” 
Before he can say anything, the two of them are interrupted by the sound of you and the rest of the boys roaring with laughter. They both find the group through the crowd to see them all huddled around Elias going on a rant about something. Evelina drags Matthew over, plopping him down next to you, leaving you sandwiched between him and Elias.
“What’s going on?” Evelina asks once he finishes his rant.
“We’re playing ‘don’t get me started,’” you explain, subconsciously settling into Matthew as he drapes his arm behind you. “Elias was just talking about the idea of a ‘puck bunny.’” Evelina raises her eyebrow, egging you on to continue, “He thinks the concept is dumb and that women should be allowed to like the sport without being accused of wanting sex and all that jazz. We love a feminist,” you coo, playfully nudging Elias as he smiles. Matthew could feel himself going crazy at the site of it, putting his arm around you as if to mark you as his. 
Evelina raises her glass, “Thank god, you’re a good man, Lindy,” toasting to him before setting her glass down. “Who’s next?” 
“I guess it’s me?” you say. “Someone give me a topic.”
“Gifted Education Program in US education,” Evelina says, already knowing your feelings about it. The alcohol in your system was only going to make the rant better. 
“Don’t get me started about the Gifted Education Program,” you start, already feeling yourself get heated even though there was a smile on your face, playing perfectly into the game that you and the guys had started to play. “It had to be one of the worst things, if not the worst thing that has ever happened to me. And all because of a fucking standardized test that I took when I was seven years old. What the hell kind of school system tells a child they’re ‘gifted’ because of a stupid test that they don’t care about? I mean, if Matthew here went to school with me and took the same test,” you start, looking over at him, feeling the heat rush to your face as you prepared for his reaction to what you were about to say, “He could have guessed on the entire test and been labelled as ‘gifted.’ Does he seem like someone who would be ‘gifted’ academically?”
The guys laughed around you as the two of you just stared at each other. Part of him hated how easily you were able to chirp him, knowing that he could never find it in him to chirp back. 
“I mean, what the hell does the gifted program even do? It pulled me out of class and made me miss instruction time which I then had to teach myself what I missed. And for what? To be a defense lawyer for the Big Bad Wolf from the Three Little Pigs? I didn’t even get to plan what I said by myself: I was given a script and had to memorize it. How is that gifted education? What does that promote? When we read The Indian in the Cupboard? When we did math problems that we were told high schoolers had issues solving? Or, how about the way we wrote a newspaper every single week but since we only worked on it for thirty minutes, we never published a single issue. I don’t even know what my section of the paper was.”
You keep going on about the gifted program, the guys laughing more and more. Matthew couldn’t focus on what you were saying, he was too busy focused on your hand, which you didn’t even realize kept grazing his thigh, driving him crazy, just like everything else you did. He pulls out his phone, searching for Evelina’s contact. 
‘Are you sure this list is going to work in my favor?’
She snaps out of listening to your rant, trying to catch her breath as she looked at her phone. Looking between you and Matthew, she smiles at him, the first look he was able to properly read: it will.
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mattoyaki · 2 years
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Sangonomiya Kokomi Build Guide
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Overview
Updated as of 3.6
It’s been awhile since I’ve posted a build guide here. Sorry for the hiatus!
Sangonomiya Kokomi is a character who has received mixed attention across the player base, mainly due to her inability to crit. It’s also a common held belief that healers lose their viability in the late game/abyss since shields are a thing and more experienced players can dodge better/predict AI patterns easier. For these reasons Kokomi has been given the reputation as somewhat of a meme character to use.
Personally I find the Kokomi slander to be in poor taste, as well as without forethought. As the game continues to add more interesting mechanics and concepts such as “true damage” which ignores resistance and shields, as well as her new artifact set (Ocean-Hued Clam) Kokomi’s role in the game is becoming more and more solidified. She’s looking to be a rather future proof support unit!
Edit: Would you look at that? I was right and the Kokomi haters are now Kokomi wanters! On top of being an extremely f2p friendly unit, Kokomi has proven to be the premium hydro option in a variety of comps, outside of vape. The addition of Dendro was a huge buff for many existing characters, and Kokomi is arguably one of the characters who benefited from Dendro the most! Kokomi is such a clutch unit to have and if you’re a new player or f2p I absolutely recommend her (even if you have already have Barbara!)
Role
Sangonomiya Kokomi is first and foremost a healer, but she has extra utility in her hydro application and has access to party buffs through weapon and artifact choices. She’s a direct upgrade from Barbara, and she can even comfortably replace Mona in several comps as well as enable all new comps.
Thanks to a myriad of weapon and artifact choices as well as just having one of the simplest play styles in the game, Kokomi can perform almost any role with passable performance. Her AoE hydro application is paramount in freeze/bloom/electro-charged team compositions where she can be the drive, and her sheer amount of healing makes things like corrosion a legitimate non-issue.
Talents & Constellations
I recommend taking Kokomi to Lv.90 for higher base HP. For talents you can focus on her elemental skill and elemental burst. These talents are very much satisfactory at Lv 8. You may also level up her autos if you want more damage during her burst window. Crowning doesn’t gain you much value in the grand scheme of things so I’d only crown her if she’s your main.
Kokomi’s constellations give her better damage and healing, but are very much not necessary. She does everything you need her to do at c0. I only recommend getting constellations for this character if you just really really like her and want her to be the absolute best she can be.
Weapons
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Everlasting Moonglow; Jadefall Splendor; A Thousand Floating Dreams
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Sacrificial Fragments; Prototype Amber; Hakushin Ring
⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Thrilling Tales of Dragon Slayer; Magic Guide
The weapon you go with ultimately depends on her team composition and what you want Kokomi to do. In general you want high HP for healing and damage, and ER so she can burst off CD. If you’re using Kokomi in a bloom team she is a very reliable trigger so you want to prioritize Elemental Mastery on her.
Thrilling Tales of Dragon Slayers and Sacrificial Fragments are Kokomi’s most recommended weapon options. Not only is TTODS easy to obtain and refine, but it’s a good support weapon in general, providing a respectable 48% atk buff to whoever swaps in after her when she switches out of battle. Even in a more DPS oriented role, Kokomi benefits from the HP% sub stat. Sacrificial Fragments provides Kokomi a whopping 221 Elemental Mastery and the passive resets her skill CD so she can move her jellyfish around more freely! If you don’t have Sacrificial Fragments Magic Guide is still a very consistent option for bloom!
Prototype Amber is really consistent as a Hydro DPS option. It’s craftable and it’s passive contributes to Ocena Hued Clam bubble damage! At R5, PA is comparable Moonglow at R1 in terms of damage.
I do not personally recommend rolling for Everlasting Moonglow or any 5 star weapon for Kokomi. All of her more f2p options are just so comparable or outright better. Prototype Amber is only marginally weaker than Moonglow in terms of her personal hydro damage. TTODS is just a goated support weapon and Sac Frags lets her do big blooms.
Hakushin Ring can be used over Prototype Amber in taser comps with Beidou/Raiden Shogun. It’s
Artifacts
As with weapons, Kokomi has many options and it just does a what you need her to do.
(4pc Ocean Hued Clam)
This is imo her BiS option. It offers both healing and extra dmg from its passive. A Kokomi with 30k+ HP and ~60% healing bonus can easily hit for 20k+ per bubble pop. That’s 20k in AoE damage every 3s…
( 4pc Tenacity of the Millelith & 4pc Deepwood Memories )
These are both great options if you’re looking purely for more support. Kokomi can easily maintain the passives, buffing party members atk%/debuffing enemy dendro resistance respectively. I personally think OHC bubble damage offers overall more value than Tenacity, but if you’re looking for big pp numbers on your main DPS there’s merit to it. Deepwood is required in any dendro composition so if no other character is running it then Kokomi can definitely run it.
Stats
For stats you always wanna shoot for ~150% ER at minimum and a solid 30k HP. Outside of Bloom Comps Elemental Mastery significantly loses value, so you can increase those goals to 170% and 40k respectively. In Bloom Comps you wanna shoot for around 700-1000 Elemental Mastery depending on how many sources of EM are in the party.
Sands - HP%, Energy Recharge or Elemental Mastery
Even in Bloom comps I think there’s merit to running HP or ER over Elemental Mastery on the sands. It ultimately comes down to sub stats and now many buffs you have in the party, but HP sands will help a lot with heals and general tankiness. Energy Recharge is crucial even if you’re only using her burst to reset the Jellyfish duration.
Goblet - HP%, Hydro DMG, or Elemental Mastery
HP gives you more healing, Hydro Dmg increases Kokomi’s personal DMG and Elemental Mastery increases her Bloom damage. In general I’d go with Hydro for Freeze comps and Elemental Mastery for Bloom. Electro-Charge you can get away with either.
Circlet - Healing Bonus or Elemental Mastery
Healing Bonus is always better than HP% and you should only run HP% if you don’t have a Healing Bonus or Elemental Mastery Circlet . As with the other pieces, Elemental Mastery is better for Bloom while Healing Bonus is better for most other comps.
Team Comps and Pairings
Kokomi fits into pretty much any team since she’s a healer and has access TToD. She fits exceptionally well in taser, freeze, and bloom comps where her hydro aura is preferred for the desired reactions.
Team Cores
Freeze
- Kokomi supports Cryo DPS character in this comp.
- Cryo Resonance is a necessity for this comp to work. Your main Cryo DPS unit should also be using Blizzard Strayer artifact set.
- Ocean Hued Clam or Tenacity sets
Taser (Electro-Charge)
- If you’re running Beidou she needs a dedicated battery. Fischl is the recommended option for this but Raiden Shogun works too. Due note that Raiden Shogun cannot proc Beidou’s burst while in Musou Isshin state.
- Sucrose is a better driver than Kokomi since she can trigger swirl with her autos. This means Sucrose should be the one on field “delivering damage” most of the time.
- If you aren’t running Beidou you can comfortably run Xingqiu for Hydro resonance and to battery Kokomi over a second electro unit
- Ocean Hued Clam is preferred in this team comp
Sukokomon
- A high damage ceiling team that consists of Sucrose, Fischl, Xiangling and Kokomi. The comp does require all the characters listed here for it to work properly
- Sucrose is the true carry here. Build her with as much EM as possible and take her to Lv 90. Sac Fragments or Magic Guide are her best weapon options
- drop all three “Pokémon” on the field and swirl/cc with sucrose. Kokomi should only be on field to drop her jellyfish or when she uses her burst. TToD is the recommended weapon here to buff Xiangling or Fischl’s attack
- Ocean Hued Clam or Tenacity of the Millelith
Bloom
- In Bloom, Kokomi’s build requirements change quite a bit as she is a very reliable trigger for bloom. This means a good portion of the Dendro Cores created by Bloom will deal damage based on Kokomi’s Elemental Mastery.
- Nilou & Nahida are the premium teammates for this comp. Nilou enables the hell out of bloom and Nahida is just the best dendro unit in the game. You can certainly make Bloom work without these two characters, through. Kaveh in particular works great for Bloom comps and Collei, YaoYao, Alhaitham, and Dendro Traveler all slot well into bloom as well.
- In general you want Dendro Resonance for the extra EM. You can also run Hydro Resonance if Nilou is in the team for the extra HP. You and also run a Cryo character (if Nilou isnt in the team) to make a “fridge” comp.
Hyperbloom & Burgeon
- Unlike Bloom, Hyperbloom and Burgeon scale off the Elemental Mastery of the Electro or Pyro unit who triggered the reaction respectively.
- The best Hyperbloom triggers are Kuki Shinbonu, Yae Miko, Fischl. and Raiden Shogun. Be sure to stack EM for hyperbloom damage specifically.
- Currently only Thoma can reliably trigger Burgeon without triggering burning first. Same as above, stack EM on Thoma
Gameplay Tips
In general Kokomi is very simple to play. You just use her elemental skill to apply hydro to enemies as well heal nearby party members. When her energy is full you can use her elemental burst to heal party members with her normal attacks. You can also refresh the duration of her jellyfish by using her burst, but do be aware this does not reset the skill’s CD, therefore the jellyfish cannot be relocated with this method.
Kokomi’s jellyfish snapshots, meaning if she casts her skill during her burst it will keep the increased HP scaling, even if her burst ends or she switches out. You can use this to your advantage in situations where you want better off field damage or healing but prefer to keep your main DPS on the field.
Conclusion
Overall, Kokomi is a fantastic support and sub DPS character who has aged like fine wine. As a healer she allows for flexibility and comfort in her team compositions and thanks to OHC artifact set she makes a very good sub DPS as well. She comfortably fits into popular comps such as Nilou Bloom, Morgana where she can replace Mona and also enables completely unique teams like Sukokomon. Overall, she’s the best mermaid queen and whether you need a healer or just someone to keep enemies wet, Kokomi will do a phenomenal job at both!
As always if you’re trying to build Kokomi I hope this guide is useful to you!
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rpbetter · 3 years
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Hi! How do you distinguish between a mun who has favorites but still treats their non favorites with respect, and a mun who has favorites but uses this as an excuse to disrespect everyone else? Sometimes it's hard for me to tell, and I'd love to hear what you think.
Hey, Anon! That's actually a great question.
It's also totally reasonable to have a hard time telling. When you feel like you might be a little more into the threads than the other mun is, no matter how much they're being respectful and caring, it can still feel a bit...lame. We all want to be a favorite writing partner, even as we know that's impossible, that we can't manage that ourselves. It's not a thing of logic!
I feel like I should probably preface the detailing I'm about to do - this is only my experience. There are always variables in anything dealing with other people, and any time we're already feeling down, it's really easy to see things in a way that might not be the reality.
Alright, then.
Muns who use this as an excuse or justification for what they're doing tend to be the ones that:
are likely to pair the excuse/justification with aggressively vilifying anyone who takes issue with their treatment of them for being too serious about RP/too emotionally invested in anything from friendships to ships/otherwise "not realizing it's just a hobby" - apparently, "hobby" actually means "you're not making a dollar, so, do whatever you want in whatever way you want, so long as it's making you and only you happy and comfortable," who knew?
will lead muns on, either because they're uncomfortable with telling those who are not the favorites that...well, they're not the favorites and they might wish to just drop the threads or because...
they have a bit of a habit of going through favorites/their favorites take frequent breaks or are slower to reply, and it's good to have other muns around for when either situation happens - it's okay if everyone else is bored and/or left out, but not them
become angry and defensive if you ask them about your thread(s) and/or if everything is alright after a reasonable period of inactivity only on your threads*
if they previously had OOC contact and/or a friendship with you, it's one pole or another of OOC behavior with you now - no contact/as little as they can possibly manage or they'll proceed like you also only want to have conversations about what is going on with the favorite(s), the ships, the threads, the fandom, the mun. Before anyone misconstrues this to mean that "so, no matter what they do it's sus lol," no. There is such a thing as neither insulting someone by having nothing else to talk about except the mun/muse/ship you're ignoring them for nor just stopping/avoiding conversation altogether. It's actually not normal or acceptable to treat people like disposable fixations or expect them to be thrilled or lie about it when you can't shut up about their replacement(s)
in general, if this mun just keeps making it apparent that neither you nor anyone else exists unless they're the favored mun? That's really it. That's the difference between having favorites and still treating other muns with respect - there isn't any respect, none of you exist to respect
*I'm not going to speak to what is reasonable to everyone, it's one of those things I think muns should mention to some degree in their rules, but with people taking it to mean things it doesn't, it's doubtful that's going to happen. (I encourage it, though, please, put in your rules when you'll ask about threads or if you'll assume there is no more interest and they've been dropped. "After one month of no reply and no OOC contact, I will either contact you to ask if you're still interested." No big deal!) For me, it would depend on the mun themselves, even if I've got in my rules that after x time, I will assume y. If this is a mun that has updated OOC that they're extra slow right now, and they're usually pretty slow, I'm going to just see that as them prioritizing preferred partners with what little time they have, that's not coming across as rude favoritism to me at that point. If it's a mun that has continued to reply as normal, posted no updates OOC, and they're specifically just replying to one or two favorites with that regular timing, I'm going to ask if they're still interested after a month or so.
The problem always is that, despite what the RPC likes to say for the same damn reason, we're all afraid to be acting on ridiculous suspicion and paranoia. We get treated a certain way, maybe it is once and it was just extremely bad, maybe it has happened over and over again, and we really do start seeing phantoms of ill-treatment. It becomes difficult to trust your own judgment and listen to your inner voice (one that, furthermore, is already at least a bit embattled by life on and offline).
These are only some points to help you trust yourself or disprove yourself if you already feel like there might be this problem going on.
If you have someone who could be impartial when given evidence, you might want to consider asking if they'd mind helping you identify if this is a problem or not. Don't mention mun names or even muses if you're in the same intersections of the RPC, you're not trying to smear anyone here, just get a different viewpoint that isn't touched by any negative or positive feelings about that mun!
I said "evidence," so, I want to be clear that I did not mean screenshots or direct quotes. Give situations, what the mun is and is not doing, as both are important.
Some questions that might help you identify things to present to a third party for help:
Are they replying to any of your threads, how about asks?
If/when they reply to you IC, how do they reply? Is it shorter than it used to be, unenthusiastic? Or is it the same, just fewer and farther between, or less interesting to you than what they're doing with preferred partners?
Are the plots they're doing with the favorite(s) ones that you previously had with them or that you had plotted out and were working toward? And if that answer is yes, are these common plots that can be applied anywhere or specific ones?
Is this all something that is perhaps temporary overexcitement, or has this just kept going on for months, shows no sign of stopping?
Did you speak/were friends OOC? If so, how has this changed? Frequency of messaging, topics of conversation, enthusiasm, interest in you or your muse?
Are you now left out of games on the dash in which you used to be tagged, or unwelcome in things like "dash crack?" Is it, by contrast, that you might be welcome in the latter, but either it doesn't interest you by inclusion/focus of the favorite or because you lack a base of engagement with what's going on?
Do they send you memes, has that changed at all?
The way you feel is valid, but it might also be influencing the way you're viewing a situation, including in how you relate it to someone else for help. So, try to stick to actions when doing so.
By contrast, muns who have favorites but are not using this to justify being disrespectful to others tend to:
be open and upfront about having favorites and why - they're not trying to hide anything, including what makes their favorite writing partners, threads, and ships favorites to begin with
^they are not "open and upfront" by obnoxiously reminding everyone constantly who those favorites are, they're not shit posting how @munthatisntyou is their bestie/their muse is lusting after their muse/actually my wife. They are upfront about it by stating in their rules they can, will, and do have favorites. They're open about it by not lying or acting like it's the worst accusation ever when someone asks them about it
definitely have priority threads, might have an easier, thus faster, time responding to questions/prompts regarding those threads/ships, but still respond with equal interest to memes from others*
the same is true of interest and turnaround time with thread replies, they might get the preferred ones out faster, but they're still replying to everyone and still keeping other muns updated on what's going on*
will not be hostile when approached by fair, politely put concerns about threads, but rather, will respond with honesty as to their interests - whether they have, indeed, changed or haven't alike
they still express the same interest OOC outside of messages, liking and commenting on posts, sending memes, and being concerned or congratulatory when they see OOC posts dealing with life events
in general, muns who just have favorites like everyone does remain aware of others in the same way they always have, still make efforts to respond to threads, memes, messages, etc. with the same interest they always have - they appreciate everyone they interact with, not only their favorite(s)
*Everyone has a different way that works for them, and that influences their meme answering, thread replying, and OOC response turnaround time. A very social mun might respond to OOC messages more frequently, reliably, and with more zeal than a mun who is less socially active, forgetful, or dealing with different difficulties that might prevent doing so, for example. As another example, a mun who writes lengthy, detailed novella that takes a while to finish is going to take longer with everyone than a mun who writes in a way, or just has more time to write, that allows for replies to get out faster. Please, keep expectations and observances mindful of these factors and differences! What is typical of one mun might be perceived as legitimate favoritism when contrasted with a mun who operates differently than them.
That's really the difference, there is recognition and appreciation of everyone. They might have a visibly different friendship with their favorite(s), but it doesn't come with the cost of treating everyone else either like they don't exist or like total shit. And that comes in many ways, as many ways as there are possible interactions in the RPC. From being casual mutuals who do not write together (still acknowledging posts etc.) to outright writing partners (still giving replies with as much effort and quality).
You can think of muns like this as you would people who have different sorts of friendships as opposed to people who have rather cliquey friendships in which it's often enough a clique of two in which everyone else, even if included or otherwise used by those two, only exists out of necessity. The former is a normal social situation, we get on well with the people we do for a reason, and that's perfectly alright. The latter is some immature and self-interested behavior one should have grown out of in junior high.
As you didn't ask for this, I'm putting it under the cut as additional advice for others!
If you feel like someone is being disrespectful, or worse, and is glossing it over with "it's okay for people to have favorites, calm down" (a thing that's totally true but not meant to be used to excuse shitty behavior), you really do want to just remove yourself from the situation. In a situation like that, you're not going to change their behavior, and even if you did, are you ever going to be able unsee it?
What is more likely to happen is you'll be growing the seed of upset they planted into a big tree of animosity. Every time you are on your dash and see them replying or tagging their favorite(s), you're going to be either hurt or angry. Eventually, it's impossible to separate which of those things you are, and it's increasingly likely you're going to say or do something regrettable. And I mean regrettable in how it is likely to negatively affect you. You don't deserve to be branded a terrible person for an outburst. The situation has been bad enough.
Whether you should soft block to unfollow and force an unfollow, hard block, unfollow with or without communication is all subject to too many variables for me to advise any single course of action.
If it's possible to communicate politely that you're officially dropping threads or unfollowing, I will always advise doing so. If that isn't possible because this mun has been that terrible, or has proven in the past that they will react badly to such communications, then so be it, just quietly remove yourself from their presence.
You owe friends, even former ones if they've not done you awfully, the decency of communicating that you're ending things. You owe mutuals who haven't done anything more than ignoring you (as awful as that is, it's not as bad as being aggressively disrespectful, lying to you, leading you on, etc.) that decency and maturity as well. You do not owe anyone who has behaved like an immature ass that decency, it's okay to just leave in those cases. As it is in situations when you feel confident that speaking to them is going to cause drama for you.
When a mun hasn't ever really interacted with you, you've become mutuals, but it never went anywhere because they were already engaged in ignoring everyone except the favorite(s), it's alright to just leave quietly, too. They clearly don't register that you exist, so...don't exist. Go exist around muns who know you're there. But the caveat to that should be that if they decide to notice your vacant spot on the dash and come to you to ask about this, you should answer them. Be honest, but polite. Tell them that you just didn't see working out with them after all, and since you hadn't interacted, you unfollowed.
You never know (you just shouldn't count on it), in that latter case especially, that mun might honestly not be aware of the effect of their actions. Like everyone else, they're just doing what they enjoy, what makes them happy is what they're concentrated on, and might genuinely just have a narrow field of vision on it until spoken to.
Whatever is right for the unique situation at hand, don't lie to someone if they message you about it. Don't just act like it was an accidental unfollow or a tumblr glitch, grit your teeth, and add them back so that there is no unpleasantness. There is already unpleasantness if you felt the need to distance yourself from them, remember that!
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morethanaprincess-a · 2 years
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@truethes​ said:  11, 13, 29 & 31 for the experience yourself meme!!
Experience Yourself Munday Meme
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what  is  a  headcanon  you  have  for  [ Sonia ]  that  you  haven’t  posted ?
A lot of my unposted headcanons at the moment revolve primarily around Sonia’s family, as much of my brainstorming right now is coming up with how they fit into a few different storylines where bringing in the Novoselic Royal Family is unavoidable. But, they’re a lot of fun to think about and write for! 
That said, here’s a slightly opaque, yet major, headcanon I have for Sonia specifically:
In the DR fandom, there’s been discourse in the past about how Sonia’s talent, among a few others, aren’t really real talents. She was born a princess, she didn’t choose it: why should she be at Hope’s Peak perfecting it?
I’ve taken this conversation and shaped it to fit a headcanon of mine: while Sonia’s talent is, absolutely, a real talent (just look at her listed canon skills that go along with it! It’s why I have a hard time believing Sonia to be stupid or dumb. She’s sheltered, has little in the way of common sense, and has trouble identifying when someone is being genuine in their feelings towards her and not putting her on a pedestal or just wanting something from her, but she’s not a bimbo), I headcanon that Sonia was not actually scouted to attend Hope’s Peak.
Instead, it was a deal made by the school and her family to send Sonia there, somewhere very far from Europe, due to circumstances that necessitated her to leave the continent for a considerable period of time. It wasn’t that she needed to go to Hope’s Peak to hone her skills as a princess: it was that she couldn’t go back to In Utero, or really any school that had students in the same social circles. In short, Sonia needed to disappear. As far away from Novoselic Castle as possible.
So, she’s not only excited to go to the motherland of otaku and live a normal life, she’s running from something. She’s also, very quietly and discreetly, in therapy during her time in Japan. It is not something the Royal Family wants known.
And yes, I’ve plotted out the circumstances that resulted in Sonia attending Hope’s Peak. However, I’ve yet to write a thread or build enough interactions up to warrant bringing that story up. In canon, it becomes a moot point and in Non-Despair modern AUs, there just hasn’t been reason to add it into a plotline yet.
But Sonia cannot, and will not, answer questions about why she’s at Hope’s Peak, and most characters would not know the reason anyway (including Junko, tbh! There were a lot of non-disclosure agreements made about it). 
if  you  could  tell  your  muse  something ,  what  would  it  be ?
Your family isn’t always right, and those you trust the most have hurt you just as deeply: you just can’t see it yet. Don’t underestimate the power of found family: even if it breaks with tradition, these are people who truly believe and want the best for you.
There are risks you take because they’re fun and ultimately do not add anything meaningful to your life, and there are risks you shy away from because you’re afraid of hurting someone else, including yourself. But people are resilient and adaptable, including yourself. At some point, you need to let others in and let them see you, support you, and love you at your lowest point. They will not think less of you.
The butter goes on the toast after you put in the toaster, not before. Cookbooks and directions exist for a reason, and not following them to ‘make the cooking process more fun!’ is not a legitimate reason to deviate from them.
what  part  of  your  blog’s  style  are  you  most  attached  to ?
Aesthetically? I love my new layout! I like pink for Sonia, but not as much pink as my previous layout. This one suits my muse much better, and is much easier to read.
In terms of process? The queue. Always and forever, the queue. Respect the queue. Love the queue.
I write a lot. The majority of my threads are long multi-paras bordering on novellas and I write novella-length drabbles (this is my reminder that I should write another one for bear because the plot bunny just won’t go away). Longer threads bring me joy. But with that joy, it can get tiring very easily, very quickly, to reply to everything I get every day and post them immediately. I’m an adult with a full-time job and other life commitments and I can’t be doing what I consider to be my best writing all the time.
Enter, the queue! I schedule my replies to post 2x/day most of the time and usually, that keeps both a steady work and writing flow and it allows me to be fair in my interactions. I try to work and reply on what I get first (or if I have a lot to reply to/start, I go with what I have the most muse for) and that way I can keep up threads with older mutuals while starting things with new ones as well.
A big pet peeve of mine is when blogs take on too much: too many threads, too many asks, and never get to/reply to everything. And eventually, they either delete every thread and ask to start over, or just make new blogs. I really endeavor not to do this. I write and queue the way I do so that as many threads as I can comfortably handle get continued and interactions are built. It’s why I don’t post starter memes/inbox/starter calls unless I know I can devote the time to new interactions, that everything I’ve currently got is written and queued.
Admittedly, I’m not a great writing partner for shorter interactions and quick replies. But I love the queue.
what  hobbies  do  you  have  outside  of  roleplaying ?
I don’t have too many, honestly. I used to be more into power lifting but now I work out for the sake of staying fit only. I have a full-time job (and usually a lot of overtime) that keeps me busy, and I cosplay (and attend conventions) and really enjoy fashion (I post OOTDs on my personal Facebook and Instagram, usually). I’m in the process of buying a house with my fiancé that takes up a lot of my free time, and once that’s done we’re setting a marriage ceremony date and planning a honeymoon. Just waiting for travel to Europe to get a bit more relaxed! I miss international travel a lot (and trips to New York City and Disney World). 
In short, Rae is old and boring and doesn’t have much time for many hobbies :(
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florbelles · 3 years
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we are no longer on speaking terms. 🌝,😈 & 🧠 answered here, 🌙 & 🌈  answered here xx
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what do you like most about your own writing?
— i’m generally very happy with my use of narrative voice, particularly in terms of stylistic choices and structure to create atmosphere or convey emotion. i probably consider the latter my strongest suit. it’s also my favorite aspect of the writing process, which is probably why i feel it’s effective :’’)
what embarrasses you most about your own writing?
— the lack of it :/
i jest. you know what’s embarrassing? my organization/lack thereof.  it’s near-impossible for me to piece anything together after the fact so if i don’t have it all in one place immediately then girl bye good luck finding it ( there are legitimately passages i have had to look up from wip posts or excerpt memes because it’s the only place i know, without doubt, i can find them ).
what is one wip you think you may never pick back up?
— none, actually. even if there are projects i know i’ll never continue in their original form — the vast majority of my uncompleted original/non-fandom work qualifies — in all probability i’ll butcher them for parts or otherwise repurpose them. ( i realize this is probably asking about in-progress published works specifically, but since i don’t currently have any of those live on main, that’s n/a ).
do you have any wips that you would never let see the light of day? if yes, what are they about?
— not specifically, no. i have plenty of content that i won’t ultimately use just because it doesn’t serve a justifiable narrative purpose, is experimental, is an outtake that i don’t want to publish because it was cut due to changes or incompatibility with another characterization/narrative choice i ended up making ( which i don’t want to muddle, at least at this stage, but i suppose the what-ifs could have a place on main down the line, so not even those are necessarily hard nevers ). alas, no super secret fic, though. 
what is your fave fic to receive comments/messages on?
— since i’m not on ao3 and don’t have multiple fics posted, my comments/messages are generally tags or comments on my posts here, and i love & appreciate absolutely all of them :’’)
do you write every day?
— i do, actually! i’m not counting what i write for workshops or uni, obviously, since those are on a deadline, but i can’t think of a day in recent memory i haven’t written something for my self-indulgent projects, even if that’s just a few disjointed lines out of context that will inevitably be buried in the depths of my notes app.
are you a planner, plantser, or pantser? is it consistent?
— the only thing is that’s wholly consistent is i absolutely Do Not Outline, i Will Not Do It. otherwise i don’t think i’ve ever gone into a project without essentially knowing exactly where i want things to end up. that doesn’t mean that isn’t subject to change, obviously, i like to leave myself plenty of flexibility to keep things fresh, but generally by the time i get around to actually writing out fic scenes i have a thorough knowledge of my arc as a whole ( i obviously know all the details of lyra’s canon intimately, for example, but i still don’t have an outline in terms of fic pacing/writing schedule/scene presentation order ).
current number of wips?
— one major longfic and 130+ prompts 💕
do you tell people in real life that you write fic?
— again, not specifically, no. fic makes up a relatively small percentage of what i write, especially in the context of what i have finished ( as you all know ); that’s actually one of the reasons why i have comparatively little completed, i already write on deadlines outside of a fandom sphere, so i’m not willing to put them on myself or make time commitments that could lead to burnout. generally when i discuss my writing projects it’s not in a fandom context. it’s not a secret, though.
what is one growth area you have for your writing?
— proofreading & editing. i absolutely do not proofread. never not going in raw, baby. i do make cuts, but only in the form of culling entire passages if i’m not completely happy with them or feel they’re unnecessary weight/are fucking with the impact & pacing ( which is a habit related to my lack of editing, i would rather just axe it completely or rewrite it entirely ). this is unfortunately true of academic & workshop submissions as well as fandom writing. i’ve gotten by with it all my life, but that doesn’t mean i should, or couldn’t greatly improve my work by putting in the effort.
do you read your own fic?
— yes. after the fact. which is why i will notice an entire phrase that was formatted incorrectly and appeared twice in a row a month after the original positing.
what is the hardest part of writing fic?
— writing it. ( no, really, it’s 99% just a matter of finding time & energy for me ).
do you do research for your fics? what’s the deepest dive you’ve done?
— i’ll do cursory research as the need arises, yeah. most of the deep diving i do is related to canon lore, however. ( i have listened to literal hours of far cry 5 dialogue. i have read fps scripts. i have purchased & studied promotional and companion material. i have given myself motion sickness seeking out notes & confirming geographical details. i have a problem. i never wanted this for myself. i never — )
choose three adjectives to complement your own writing.
— i’m not trying to be a twat but i assume this means compliment because it doesn’t make sense to me otherwise :)) uhhhh visceral, poetic, immersive
what is a headcanon you have about your own work?
— kate’s already heard this one but my pet headcanon that will never be canonically addressed is isbaela watching the nukes from her window with her third glass of morning white wine in her hand making a noise of disgust like “i’m sure this is somehow lyra’s fault” and lawrence is like “oh my god, bels give it up what the fuck is wrong with you” but then ten minutes later in hell he’s like “oh lol no shit?”
( i jest. mostly. )
in all seriousness i like to think that since their world is based in mythology & the supernatural that john & lyra are truly reunited in hell where she has taken her rightful place as one marked by god for damnation as lucifer was before her 
name one of your fave comfort fics (doesn’t have to be your all time fave)?
— i’m just going to recommend my “other fic” tag instead :’’)
if one of your fics was going to get you arrested, which one and why?
— she wrote in blood and we all know damn well why
do you spend more time reading fic, writing fic, or do you do both equally?
— writing it! i generally don’t seek fic out, i don’t need to because my mutuals are good enough to put premium content on my dash regularly
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