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inthestarsme · 4 months

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Solar return observations pt. 1 ✨

‼️ Do not reproduce, repost or use any of my content without my consent. If you ever repost anything, you need to always mention my page ‼️

Hey guys! I hope you've been having a great christmas time! I'm starting a new little series, bc honestly, i haven't been observing anything new when it comes to birth charts lately, but i've really been into solar return charts, which is why i really wanted to make this. As you might have seen, i had already posted another observation which included some observations on solar return charts, which i deleted bc some of the things i shared didn't resonate with me and i only want to give you content i can truly stand behind. But i am mentioning this, bc i'm going to include some of the solar return observations i made in this post, so don't be confused if you think you might've already seen this on one of my posts.

If you do not know about solar return charts, i would recommend you to look it up beforehand. I am not the best at explaining this kind of stuff, but there are other astrology pages who have amazing introductions for people who are getring into solar return charts. Please look them up and then come back to this!!

Before we start: these are just my personal observations. I am by no means a professional astrologer, and i don't want you coming for me because you disagree with me on the meaning of something. If you want to correct me, feel free, but i will not tolerate any hate or disrespect (which means you will get blocked).

‼️Trigger warning: mentions of bad relationship experiences, bullying and mental health struggles ‼️

Sooo let's go!

Jupiter in the 8th house conjunct neptune in 7th house: Altough of course this can show different in every persons life, for me in the year i had this placement i didn't meat my rich husband who was my wonderful soulmate. Instead i only dated one guy who in the beginning seemed very great but turned out to just be using me for intercourse In general the guys i've met who were interested in me seemed quite stable and good people, but turned out to actualy be known by close ones as f-boys. So if you have this placement in your solar return chart, please beware. It might look better than it is, as neptune is also about illusions and in the 7th house of relationships, this can mean you might not see who the person truly is, and with jupiter ok the 8th house, it could be because they might be using you for sexual endevours, or you might be more into sexual endavours than usual and thus might yourself give another person the illusion you might be into more to get access in that way (which: please don't do that. there is people out there who are willing to give you that without you having to betray them. it's not fair to someone who is trying to actually build a relationship).

Neptune conjunct the Descendant with Chiron in the 7th house: Adding to the last observation: the year i started dating my first boyfriend who was very toxic and completely used and betrayed me was the year i had neptune, the planet of illusion in a very hard conjunction to my descendant. Also, like chiron (the wound we cannot heal but which can heal others) would indicate sent me into quite a mental health crisis, which i didn't even realize until about 2 years later. it really messed with me, so please be careful if you have this placement. i still learned a lot about relationships, and i feel like i now would never again get into a relationship without being 100 percent certain about the persons intentions and so on.

Saturn, Pluto and Uranus in the 4th house: Whilst Pluto and (especially) Uranus can totally mean you moving because they are very much about change, i wouldn't say the same about saturn in the 4th house. Saturn is usually more about restrictions and difficulties because of that. Of course there could be difficulties with your landlord for example, which might cause you to move, but otherwise, i think saturn here is more about not being able to move freely in your home or you feeling bound to your home for some reason. This can of course vary in interpretation depending on other aspects and planets, it could also be about problems with you family. It very much depends.

North node conjunct uranus in any house: Whatever house this placement is in, you might experience some significant change in the area or might learn something about this area of your life which will change it significantly. For example, a friend of mine had this in his 7th house and during that year, after a lots of years of being in an polyamorous relationship, they went back to a monogamous relationship because some things had appendd which made them realize for them to keep on having a healthy relationship, a monogamous relationship might be better. I also had this placement in my ninth house and during this year some things happened which significantly altered the way i handle my studies in college.

Stellium in 12th house (with sun and moon): You might be going through a phase where you are in more solitute and a lot of things you didn't know about will come to light. I am currently experiencing this, and i could totally feel the shift. I feel it kind of was like my last solar reutrn year i had so many experiences with traveling and meeting new people, that i kind of feel like an "experience fatigue". it felt like i was making so many new experiences, and focused on making more and so on, that i forgot to put meaning and intention behind those. So now i just want to slow down and still make experiences, but also focus on my inner world, on learning new things about myself and also work on some mental health stuff. also, i feel like there has been a lot going on behind the scenes on how people view or say about me which i don't or didn't know about, like for example one year a go, a comment i made on youtube got about 6000 likes and people were bashing me so hard in the comments and i didn't even notice until now 😭 idk, i hope whatever is going to be revealed isn't too harsh (the comments were bad but honestly, i didn't mind. it's not the first time i've gotten hate on social media lol). the 12th house is generally not considered to be very positive, but for now i feel like it is mostly about me time and discovering new things about myself.

Sun square pluto: I read something on the tumblr page "lavishlyleo" about this placement being a very difficult placement which can last for a looong time, and i looked it up: i've had this placement since i was about 14 years old. now, i've had quite a rough childhood, but me having to deal with that and having to process it and simultaniously starting to experience more bullying and so on started about this time. i think beforehand i knew my life wasn't the greatest, but i could still move through it and be very happy and content because i had a great friend group and a lot of other good stuff going on. the fact of me having to realized how the things i have gone through were so fucked up and how they messed with me was soo much harder tbh. but now this placement has been easing up a bit and will go away in about two years and i have honestly been doing so much better that the years beforhand, especially when it comes to my social life! i am so excited on seeing how life will be as soon ad this placement finally goes away.

Chiron or lilith in the 11th house: As these two are more harsh and about experiencing some bad stuff to also learn and develope, having this in the 11th house may not be a good sing of you keeping your friend group because and maybe losing those. Or in general just having bad experiences with groups of people.

I will leave you with this now. As the year progresses, i will see how certain placements play out in my and other peoples life, so i can give you some more observations i made. But i hope you enjoyed this!

Sending out love and please keep safe! Until next time byebye 🩵

#solar return #solar return chart #astro observations #astro community #astroblr #jupiter in the 8th house #neptune in the 7th house #neptune conjunct descendant #chiron in the 7th house #saturn in the 4th house #uranus in the 4th house #pluto in the 4th house #north node conjunct uranus #stellium in the 12th house #sun square pluto #chiron in the 11th house #lilith in the 11th house

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dailydragon08 · 3 months

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headcanon post idea: everyone’s reactions when you tell them you’re proud of them (ex. after a tough mission or bc they’ve been having a hard time mentally/emotionally)

Although she’s used to the spotlight from being royalty and a revered leader in the rebellion, Leia isn’t very used to genuine praise. She’s usually the one praising someone else (or yelling at them, more likely) and the most she’s gotten in the last few years is a quick “good work” when she delivered the plans for the first Death Star before the Battle of Yavin. So when you first make her look you in the eye and genuinely tell her that you’re proud of her, she freezes for a minute. The last time she really heard that from someone who meant it was her parents, so it hits her a bit harder than she expected and she doesn’t completely know what to do with the feeling. She’s so used to being the rock for everyone else – and keeping her inner thoughts a secret was part of her job and how she stayed safe for a long time – that she takes a while to show any sort of big emotion in front of people, and even then will only do so in private. She gives you a small smile, nod, and quiet thanks before redirecting the attention to you, how much you helped, and says how she’s proud of you. But she will concede to an “I’m proud of us” before giving your shoulder an affectionate squeeze.

Luke also hasn’t heard a genuine “I’m proud of you” in a long time (not that the OT gang isn’t proud of him, they just typically don’t say it in words), but he tends to be a bit more emotionally available than his sister on a more regular basis. He can’t keep the emotion off his face and for a second, you’re afraid you said the wrong thing as his big, blue eyes start getting glassy. It means the galaxy to him, especially from someone who knows everything that happened with Owen, Beru, his father, and the emperor, not to mention all the weight on his shoulders in regard to rebuilding the Jedi Order from scratch. He collects himself soon after, but still gives you a warm smile and “thank you” before wrapping you in a tight hug. He tells you he’s proud of you as well and there isn’t anyone else he’d rather have on his team, holding the hug for a bit longer than you expected (but you, of course, would never be the first to let go).

Han pretends to be affection-averse, even though he isn’t – but, hey, he’s got a reputation to maintain. He splutters for a minute before recovering and saying something along the lines of, “Yeah, I am aware how awesome I am, kid, and I’m glad you’ve finally realized it, too. Ya know, I’m gonna remind you that you acknowledged my greatness next time you get on me for somethin’ – in fact, here,” he holds his comm right in front of your mouth and hits record, “why don’t you say that again so I have some proof?” You bat the comm away and tell him how insufferable he is before you both go back to what you were doing before. But, when he thinks you’re not looking, you can see the dopiest smile across his face.

Lando takes it the most in stride. He looks surprised for a minute, before smiling, thanking you, and putting a hand on your shoulder and giving it an affection squeeze and light shake. “You’re not so bad yourself,” he says before remarking on how you two make a great team, even going so far as to list specifics of exactly why you work so well together. He wraps his arm around your shoulders as the two of you walk back to base, a new spring in his step that you can’t deny is adorable.

Chewie (platonic) immediately says something in Shyriiwook that you think (hope?) sounds happy before enveloping you in a bear hug that almost crushes your ribs. You hang on for dear life, half laughing and half struggling to breathe, patting the Wookiee’s back before begging him to put you down before he accidentally crushes you. He mumbles something that almost sounds like the cadence of an apology in his language before setting you down and affectionately petting your head.

R2D2 (platonic) chirps, whistles, and wobbles on his two outer legs happily and is then adorably glued to your side the rest of the day. Han and Lando tease you about how you’ve found yourself your own personal servant, but Leia and Luke think it’s adorable, and even Luke comments on how much R2 loves you when he’s out of earshot. C3PO translates at some point, telling you how much R2 appreciates the compliment and that he enjoys working with you before the astromech is zipping away again to refill your water bottle for the third time.

C3PO (platonic) gives you a surprised “oh, my” before thanking you profusely. He even gives you a little bow and says, “You’re too kind. I enjoy our work together as well and you do a marvelous job at everything you set your mind to.” You give him a smile and a thanks before turning back to what you were previously doing, laughing quietly to you overhear him walking down the hall going, “Oh, Master Luke, you won’t believe what just happened!”

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young-royals-confessions · 3 months

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Just pitching in since I see so much discourse about will they or won’t they that I think we kind of lost the essence of the story: I mean yes, Netflix is promoting the whole are they going to be endgame or not, tune in to find out but I think that’s just a generic marketing tactic.I’ve honestly been ignoring it.

Also, Lisa doesn’t strike me as the type of writer that would push only her own personal agenda or politics to a tv show, especially one that has critical acclaim as yr. That’s not what true storytelling is about. Please bear with me (apologies in advance for the long response !) but here’s my v long winded reasoning:

The theme has always been love v. duty & the monarchy is the enemy. Wille is on a Hero’s Journey - he is ultimately the Main Character; the Young Royal. What’s great about The Hero’s Journey is that it’s easy to follow and makes for great storytelling despite its predictability. I think some people here may have touched upon this so I am simply expanding:

As a viewer, we follow Wille and get to know him. He’s a likable character and we easily root for him and feel for him when we learn about the power dynamics in play; specifically how he feels caged as a prince. Then we enter into a Call for Adventure: him falling for Simon and the high stakes he enters when his brother passes and he is now Crown Prince.

This, then, propels the story forward, given the stakes are stacked up and it’s not looking good for Wille, especially after he/we find out August was the offender for sex tape leak.

After that, we enter into The Refuse to Call for Adventure; i.e, the hero (Wille) realizes he must face the challenge. We also step into the Meeting the Mentor, which is Boris, who helps Wille learn how to stand up and ultimately fight for himself (and Simon). While I see others thinking that W might push everyone away, including skipping his appts with Boris, I do not think that’s the case. Boris was set up to be the Mentor that W needs to realize the challenge he’s been facing and we may continue seeing him open up to Boris.

This will then allow W to “Cross the Threshold” and reinforce the central theme and conflict of the story - if W continues to stay with the monarchy and his obligations as Crown Prince, he cannot choose Simon. Love or Duty? Which will prevail?

S3 crosses that threshold and produces tests and obstacles that would make the fight for his relationship w S so much more complicated (basically everything we saw in the trailer). This stage in the Hero’s Journey is meant for the audience to doubt the Hero - Wille. It’s already a testament as we are debating if W is going to denounce his title or not just from the 2 mins of what we saw from the trailer. It’s intentional. We need to doubt in order for the central theme to drive home and also portrays the monarchy to be the overarching enemy of this story, without Lisa forfeiting her own political statement.

We enter the next stage of the Journey - which is the Cave - meaning the Hero and protagonists need to regroup and prepare for a counter attack (generally speaking) because the tension is continuing to rise and there are outside forces that wish to disturb the Journey (in this case, public opinion? paparazzi? Hillerska shutting down?).

Next, we enter the Ordeal - which makes the Hero break down bc he enters a mental barrier and is pushed to a corner. However, the Hero, typically comes out stronger after this stage in storytelling.

Ultimately, we reach the end: The Reward. The Hero makes the “attack” or choice and defeats the enemy/antagonist.

Imo, with how everything is set up, I do think it’s set up for W and S to be together in the end at least the end of the show (everything else after is obviously left for the audience member to interpret).

I have no doubt that W & S are going to come up on top and still be together in the end bc like some people mentioned - what would be the point? It was never a question whether they would end up together. The question is if Wille, our Hero in this story, would make the final choice and choose between love or duty. I think Wille would choose love. What better way of making history, especially with everything that’s been happening in real events, then choosing love? That would make for a strong ending.

#young royals #hero's journey #wilhelm #yr s3 spoilers #s3 speculation #wilmon #wilmon endgame #love or duty

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stormikins · 1 month

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Mass Effect: Failed Opportunities.

An informal rant essay about my opinions and thoughts (and ideas/suggestions) about the choices made in Mass Effect Three. This is all because of this one post, and my friend (@xoshepard) giving me a compliment about my Shepard came back wrong headcanons. So. I’m fueled by validation and rage. A summary of the mentioned post is anonymous regrets that BioWare didn't explore the implications of Shepard dying and coming back and the fact that Liara helped Cerberus in doing so.

Disclaimer: I am a hater in this. I am. No doubt about it. If you like the story and think it’s great and nothing is wrong with it— then I am so happy for you. Truly. I wish I was the same. So, this post might not be for you. Also, this is a rant, and I try to keep it sensible so apologies if it’s not.

Word Count: 3k

TLDR: BioWare flip flops between decisions and choices and never truly settles, disregards choices already made, and leaves players wanting (AND THEIR MOTHERS!) while eviscerating character personalities. Consistency is not in BioWare’s vocabulary. Or dictionary. Or thesaurus.

One of the things that I dislike the most about BioWare's choices regarding this matter is that Shepard starts having these crisis thoughts/questions about if their body is theirs or not, etc. not only in the third game, but at the end of it. The player is literally doing the mission that marks the point of no return in the end, the last of two until the game is finished, and now Shepard is voicing these thoughts. Roughly sixty-ish hours since the beginning of me2 if the player is a completionist. (not to mention how much more time in between playing bc people have lives but I digress). This isn’t a plot hole, it’s a speed bump the player trips over and then the game expects us to get back and get going while asking why our nose is bleeding. Fuck you BioWare.

Now, one could construe this into being part of Shepard's character; squashing down all these conflicting and worrying thoughts to focus on their mission, bc they are a soldier. They literally don't have time for this. But now they're physically confronted with their reconstruction post-awakening haze and/or denial about it all bc Cerberus could be them lying to Shepard bc of manipulation. All right. If that is supposed to be the implication, Shepard putting their mental focus on their mission, why didn't Shepard have this crisis when they were in lock-up for six months, aka where they literally only have time to think?

James having a throwaway comment to Shepard, or another crew member (bc they talk to each other now between missions!), about how he's worried about them, about how Shepard had a freak out some point in lock down, the level of 'freak out' does not need to be expanded upon. Hell, James can just say maybe they passed the time asking each other philosophical questions, maybe about consent and choices and bodily autonomy. It could help lend more weight with Shepard posing these questions during the Cerberus HQ bc these thoughts are still plaguing Shepard. Shepard dies-again-without getting closure-again. This would fall into the cycle theme that the games have.

But, like always, Bioware fails to capitalize on opportunity.

Now. The Citadel DLC. sighs Shepard's repeated variations of "don't want to talk about it" it being the clone and everything else that's happening in the DLC, lends more to the theory of Shepard's supposed to be repressing this all. But the counter point about Shepard having their crisis in lock-up still stands.

What could have been interesting is if Shepard had these identity issues in 2 and potentially in three and given that the Citadel DLC ends with the clone always dying canonically, it can be a pivotal moment for Shepard to realize that they are who they are, different than their me1 counterpart or not (it also would be cool if characters mentioned if the player was choosing choices that an imported me1 Shepard normally would not have) and to have a clarity moment that they are Shepard. This clone and these logs could have provided a clean tying of loose ends of Shepard having identity issues instead of the teammates saying two lines about how they know that Shepard is Shepard and Shepard simply... moving on bc you do all this in the middle of a base attack. The player's mind is already set on defeating Cerberus (finally) and getting revenge, on being so close to the end of the game! It's also OPTIONAL. Yes, the player is automatically entered into a dialogue wheel but the choice to leave without seeing what's on the logs is immediately available.

Another thing the previous post went into was Liara's involvement. Her part in Shepard's reconstruction is not explored in the game. The player never learns about how Liara helped, just that she did and that she lost Feron because of it all to the Shadow Broker. I will not go into the comics, bc 1. I have not read them and 2. If developers must depend on supplemental media to explain key plot points, they are in fact doing it wrong (this is a conversation for another time).

I would not be as bitter about Liara's involvement if the game treated it better. The player has to complete two quests to unlock the dialogue of Liara telling Shepard that she gave their body to Cerberus. Shepard’s renegade dialogue to Liara apologizing about giving their body over is as follows, “all this time, it wasn’t your sources. You knowingly gave me over to Cerberus. You did this to me!” SHEPARD DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING ELSE. JUST SITS BACK DOWN AND THE RENEGADE RESPONSE TO HER SECOND APOLOGY IS TO SAY, “Let me know if you need any more help,” AND YOU LEAVE. WHY IS THIS THE ONLY TIME SHEPARD ACKNOWLEDGES THIS. wow. AND WHY IS IT LIKE THIS? ITS OPTIONAL. I— Again, this could tie into Shepard bottling up feelings and acknowledging them in Me3, could show Shepard as an actual person is the game lets us choose to be mean or turn her off but alas, the player cannot because the game likes ruining Shepard’s character (which I’ll save that for later).

One could say that Liara would go to any lengths for those she loves, whether the player romanced her or not, but in the first game, we have no indication that she is willing to go this far. I have a belief that nothing is 'out of character' if the circumstances are right. Now, these circumstances are right: two important figures in Liara's life die (Shepard and her mother), Liara's only connection to her theories on the extinction of the reapers dies as well, the threat of the Reapers, and all the traumatic experiences she had during me1 and then the destruction of the Normandy all collide together to make it realistic that Liara wouldn't be able to let Shepard go. There is one thing, though, is that this is all boiled down into “I couldn't let you go” and the game doesn't show it. Doesn’t show Liara's descent down into this rabbit hole, doesn't show the switch getting flipped of her turning much more ruthless compared to her me1 characterization.

She does show ruthlessness in some regards in me1, willing to kill her mother no matter their relationship. But out of all the SR1 cast, she is one of the most paragon characters. The game does not show the shift into Liara's characterization. No commentary from Me1 companions about how Liara suddenly shut them out, or from Feron talking about the things Liara was willing to do to get Shepard. No comments from Miranda and Jacob who I do know were part of the retrieval mission about how Liara acted. Liara is just immediately introduced with quoting her mother’s threats. WHICH IS SO INTERESTING! Again AGAIN the game goes nowhere with this. We get optional dialogue from Aethyta about the Matriarch’s being concerned about her but that is optional, and only if the player talked to her in Me2 does she show up in Me3 and deliver said dialogue. Liara herself never confronts this. Even when SHE TALKS ABOUT HER MOTHER. LISTEN— LIARA COULD HAVE TURNED INTO A SCIENTIST THAT WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR HER RESEARCH. TO PROVE HERSELF RIGHT BECAUSE SHE IS, SHE KNOWS IT AND SHE’LL DO ANYTHING LIKE BRINGING SOMEONE’S DEAD BODY TO A TERRORIST ORGANIZATION TO RESSURECT AND YET—

Garrus, on the other hand, gets his new characterization explained. In me1 he already tends to be reckless, ruthless, and selfish. It is no surprise that when Shepard died and the Council buried the truth, he went vigilante. The game shows his new bleak outlook on life bc we find him fighting for his life in a base full of dead bodies and then he explains he got betrayed. We deal with his character arc. We do not deal with Liara’s.

One could argue that could go and show how Shepard wakes up two years in the future and everything is different and confusing. Which I will agree with. If it was purposeful. And I don’t think it is, personally.

She doesn’t stay this new ruthless way. I am not saying she can’t be more than one-dimensional; I like that she can be soft with Shepard and the other companions. But all of a sudden, she, the character whose introduction in Me3 is her popping a singularity and gunning down two Cerberus goons with a cold look on her face, “can’t be that callous” about not focusing on the death numbers in the middle of a war zone because “that’s my home down there”. A home she rarely talks about, and she’s also been in numerous war zones just as bad as this. Liara, who spent more time in digs or collecting intel than with people, feels a sudden connection with her people.

I would like Liara a lot more if they didn’t eviscerate her character, thank you. Don’t take this the wrong way, I love her, I think she’s great. She just has the potential to be so much more.

Like—

Mass Effect for some reason, tries not to be an RPG. They don't give the players a proper choice/dialogue to allow Shepard to be mad at Liara about what she did. Or to stay mad. (I am not going to get into the debate of whether being mad at Liara should be a renegade option or paragon). It would make sense for someone to get pissed at the person who gave their dead body over to scientists to reanimate, but also terrorist scientists. The same terrorists that Shepard potentially fought in Me1 and also potentially discovered were behind the whole sale slaughter of their entire platoon and the torture of the only other survivor of the incident.

(I can’t remember if Shepard ever mentions Akuze to Cerberus. Funny, isn’t it. How the games like to take away Shepard’s agency but not in any compelling way.)

Besides, simply not choosing paragon options, it’s never mentioned again what Liara did to Shepard, which makes sense if Shepard accepted Liara’s apology. But what if Shepard, and the player, doesn’t? Liara’s forced on the player in Me3 as Shepard potential confidant, showing up repeatedly to Shepard’s cabin to move the plot forward, give Shepard missions/updates. Yes, the player can refuse to get personal with her which I do appreciate it. Like I said, Liara’s actions never get brought up in any meaningful way to help Shepard on a character journey.

Another failed opportunity about Shepard’s character is when the games don’t get into what Shepard is like post-resurrection. The game seems to be in the middle ground of making Shepard different but not still human, but in actuality, they can in the words of Hannah Montana, have “the best of both worlds”.

Me2 shows how Shepard is different now. “I’ve noticed a few upgrades,” Shepard states when talking to the Illusive Man on Minute Man station. Shepard can have multiple hard-hitting drinks in a row along with Ryncol in Dark Star, Zakera Ward. A poison tailored for humans served by a batarian bartender in the lower segment of Afterlife only knocks Shepard out, not killing them like it does to every human before.

That is how far the game will go in showing how different Shepard is, not counting renegade scarring. Which is a waste.

Shepard is The Protagonist. The main character. They have done the actual impossible. They are the Sole Survivor, the Hero of Elysium, the Butcher of Torfan, Savior of the Citadel, repeller of Geth, Collector, and Reaper armies and a host of other incredible achievements. They are a prophet, the damned, a modern-day Cassandra. The tip of the Spear, the Diplomat, the Soldier. Coats in the FOB on Earth says that it means something to the soldiers to see Shepard with them. They are “a tool, an agent with a singular purpose,” TIM calls them. (And a Karen ‘accuse her of classism’).

And yet, when Shepard gets revived—the most impossible of all things (and yes, it’s not like they had anything to do with it, it was Miranda and her team, but the Lazarus project only had one subject)—they are not made further into something larger than life. Something Other. Something that sets them out from the others. Because they’re Commander Fucking Shepard.

They literally have a vision of a dying race in their head that propels them to stop the Reapers. Me1 does a great job of playing with it. The player sees it once in Me2 and Me3, a side mission (Blue Suns: Archaeological Site) and after retrieving Javik, respectively.

Mass effect is all about cycles. The Reaper’s, Saren/Tim parallels, etc. What could have been interesting was instead of the reoccurring dream we have about a child that gets his emotional impact tarnished because of said dream and the star-child, the game does a mesh of the vision, prothean civilization in ruin, and the ruins we see of current civilizations from the missions Shepard goes on. Keep the oily shadows that whisper quotes from our dead teammates, but also have their voices coming from long dead Protheans pleading with Shepard to stop the Reapers, to save them.

Shepard can’t get any escape from the war, from the Reapers in their sleeping nor waking hours.

The game not making Shepard Other and going in the opposite direction—that despite all these upgrades Shepard is still human—would be fine if it was done better. A good stereotype of “I’m only human” is when a character fails. Shepard fails in Me3 most prominently on Thessia. I’m all for having characters fail but only when it’s done not so obnoxiously.

It’s a terrible fight. It is. Kai Leng hides behind a gunship that Shepard took down at least three separate times in Me2. Two of these instances are non-optional (Garrus and Samara’s recruitment, with Kasumi’s loyalty quest being the third). So, Shepard—Commander Shepard who literally destroyed a proto-Reaper—can’t destroy a gunship. It’s insulting how they ruin Shepard’s character in three.

In the end cutscene, Shepard clearly hears and registers that Kai Leng orders the gunship to fire on the supports of the structure and… runs further into the building. One could argue Shepard was trying to get the Prothean VI for the catalyst, but Liara is shown scanning it with her Omni-tool. What did she do, if not copy it? Why would she not? Why wouldn’t Shepard? They’re in the middle of a war zone, with enemies that were just right outside the door. Why stop for a chat here and now? (I know why, the plot demands it and lore dumping— lore that contradicts the lore dump by Vigil in Me1 so I’m even more inclined to not like these proceedings).

Kai Leng is Shepard’s nemesis in Me3 (and I’m forever mad that he is) and he’s supposed to be badass and edgy and able to go toe-to-toe with Shepard. Yet the game shows he can’t. He can’t reach his target because a terminally ill drell stopped him, or he didn’t notice Bau being cloaked in front of the Salarian councilor. (I can also go into how stupid this scene is with BOTH Thane and Bau).

He gets one over Shepard with the C-SEC sky car chase but that doubles back to BioWare ruining Shepard’s character by making them an idiot. Why not hit the brakes? Why not do a couple barrel rolls? Why fire through what should be bullet proof glass because it’s a C-SEC sky car?

Kai Leng can’t go toe-to-toe with Shepard unless Shepard gets dumbed down into an idiot and isn’t someone who reached not only Commander rank but also became the first human spectre. HELLO!?

So, Shepard failing and still being human and fallible doesn’t hit because they execute it poorly via Kai Leng and his stupid plot armor.

Who would be Shepard’s nemesis if not Kai Leng? HARBINGER. YOU KNOW THE REAPER THAT TAUNTED SHEPARD IN ME2? THE VERY FIRST REAPER MADE? THE REAPER THAT WE ONLY SEE—NOT TALK TO—SEE IN THE LAST HOUR OF THE GAME? THAT GUY. (matter of fact, throw in some of Harby’s arrogant lines about Shepard not being able to stop the Reapers in the alternative dream.) Harbinger should have possessed troops like he did in Me2 in the major Reaper battles. Earth. Menae. Thessia. He should have showed up somewhere, boasting about how they’re darkening the sky of every world. YES THAT’S A SOVEREIGN CALL BACK CYCLES! SHEPARD’S VISION IS COMING TRUE RIGHT BEFORE THEIR EYES AND HE’S NOT BRAGGING!? I THINK THE FUCK NOT! If you’re gonna make the Reapers so obsessed with Shepard as shown in Me2 with Harbinger’s comments and making a human looking Reaper, KEEP THE OBSESSION FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! I hate that the Reapers are obsessed with Shepard, Reapers who are above organics, have no weaknesses etc. and the entirety of Sovereign’s brilliant Virmire speech, because it’s not CARRIED OVER!

The enemies should have primarily been the Reapers from the start, and Cerberus the splinter group trying to sabotage the player. Make them smaller. Keep them kidnapping people for troops and biotic tests and lying about Sanctuary being a sanctuary and not run by Cerberus. Continuously have them send assassins—plural! Phantoms and nemesis— after Shepard with Kai Leng at the head of them. Even better if a strike group of baddies show up randomly during missions and watch out! Now Shepard has to deal with them as they fight the Reapers—in the same mission— because Cerberus wants to stop Shepard from killing the Reapers so they could control them and secure human dominance. Kai Leng is kept away from his target because they’re also fighting Shepard where Reapers are. Have them locked into statements until the environment falls apart literally forces them apart. Have them actually be equal adversaries.

Cerberus is introduced to be a mere group Shepard took out in Me1. They’re not all gone in Me2 surprise! Okay that’s fine and yet they not only sunk so many resources into Shepard and had so many cells gone rogue but they’re able to stage a coup on the Citadel! Pardon?? “But our resources are not unlimited, rebuilding you was a significant investment. And a significant risk,” Miranda tells Shepard in Me2. Cerberus kidnapping people on Benning would make sense if they’re scrambling for troops other than the relying on Sanctuary. (EVEN IN ME3 THERE ARE ‘ROGUE FACTIONS’— still a common occurrence for them. It’s never explained if Cerberus is lying about Benning or not). If they have these many rogue cells, again, how can they manage all they do in Me3? Especially if scientists are leaving Cerberus as well, aka the Ex-Cerberus Scientist mission Traynor gives you.

Yet, the player talks more to the Illusive Man than Harbinger in Me3, the leader of the Reapers, and we confront TIM at the end of the game, the most pivotal moment. The moment which people have sunk countless hours into, and we get a power hungry and indoctrinated TIM to… talk into shooting himself or firing a single bullet at him. There is no physical fight between the two. The conversation is similar to Saren’s and again, cycles are a theme, so why can’t we get a Reaper!TIM fight? The player, and Shepard, deserve the choice to fuck him up. This is a military game after all, they’re supposed to be encouraging our aggressive nature.

They ruin TIM but also Shepard.

Shepard never grows and changes like the characters around them, and their resurrection could have—should have—played a part in that. If they’re supposed to remain the same, be a tool for the narrative, make them it. Lean into that. The player chooses options. What would be an interesting mechanic is to make it a struggle for a certain background to get a certain morality. Have Shepard be stating doubts about who they are and if the player is contradicting a stereotypical background (Butcher trying to be paragon, a Hero trying to be renegade), they meet the camera—the players eyes—as they explain their inner turmoil. Make Shepard feel like the tool they are, like they’re not in control of their actions. A renegade overcoming it all and being a paragon hero, or a fall from grace paragon that brings the galaxy down with them. A renegade trapped in a cycle of violence (CYCLE) who can only see the world down the barrel of a gun, or a paragon who continuously chooses kindness. MAKE IT MEAN SOMETHING!

I think I’m done. So.

In conclusion, my love and passion for this game transitions into rage because of seeing possibilities squashed like a bug under a boot. To borrow Star War’s phrase: Mass Effect could be so good if it was good.

#mass effect #yes im putting this in the tag idc #anyways this was fun #im finally dictating my thoughts on ME3 cause it fucking sucks #ive played this game the most out of the entire trilogy and any other game i own

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reasonsforhope · 11 months

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One of the things that I really appreciate about this blog is that now, every now and then, when I hear about some new awful thing in the world, it will be in the context of "and this is what people are doing to fight it". That's so much less paralyzing.

(If you have any sources to recommend for experiencing more of that, me and my mental health would be further indebted.)

Ahhh, I forgot about this message, sorry! Been a hectic couple of months.

I absolutely have more sources!

One of the biggest is the media collaboration The Solutions Journalism Network, which focuses on just that: closing the massive gap between people reporting on problems and people reporting solutions.

I have a giant bookmark list of sources for this blog, for good news stories and hope, so here's a bunch of links! Roughly in order of how good I think they are (in terms of size of stories, previously uncovered stories, good editorial standards, accuracy, detail, number of stories, etc. etc.)

We're gonna start with the ones that do good news ONLY, because sometimes you fucking need that, and then below I'll link some excellent sources that have a higher than average number of quality pieces on good news, even though they also publish other stuff too.

Good and hopeful news sources:

Future Crunch - If you only read one of these sites, read this one!!! It's a MASSIVE biweekly roundup of international good news stories with really high quality reporting--a lot of UN and WHO and major NGO reports as their sources. I cry from hope at LEAST 30% of the times I read this, and tbh it used to be like 100%, about a year ago when I started realizing that hope for the planet and for humanity was something that was REASONABLE TO HAVE.

Reasons to Be Cheerful - Fewer stories, but FANTASTIC quality of reporting, especially on fantastic local stories, many of them in international communities, that you've definitely never heard of before

Positive.News - Good coverage and especially roundups, mostly Europe-focused.

Good News Network - This one is awesome for the high number and approachability of its stories, but unfortunately also includes more "That's not news that's just a heartwarming anecdote" and "That's not good news it's actually dystopian" pieces than I'd like.

Jane Goodall's Good For All News - Really awesome focus on international issues, a lot of news from Africa, a lot of news about youth organizers and youth-led projects, and a lot of focus on how helping the environment and helping communities are inextricably connected. Yall Jane Goodall is doing SO MUCH amazing work out there even at her age, and most people also have no idea.

Good Black News - Mostly posts on music and entertainment, and doesn't post all that often, but they're great.

Good Good Good

The Good News Hub

Only Good News Daily

( ) for Tomorrow - Directory of grassroots solutions to all types of issues and "proof that no solution is too small to have an impact"

A Plus - Dedicated to uplifting stories in video form. I'm sure they're awesome, I just don't rly use them bc videos can set off my sensory issues

The Happy Broadcast - Illustrated good news tidbits! I haven't been using them much but it looks like they've (recently?) added more text and sources to each image, so I might change that. Illustrations are pretty cute tbh

Sources that publish a lot of good news, but also other not good stuff:

Euronews.Green - Environmental section of European news org

Yes! Magazine - Excellent solutions-focused journalism, excellent focus on BIPOC content and underrepresented communities

TheMayor.EU - EU-focused, discusses a lot of good projects and cool local developments/programs

Grist - Solutions journalism, fantastic corage especially on environmental issues

Mongabay - Billed as "News & Inspiration from Nature's Frontline," they are amazing and have some of the best goddamn reporting I've ever seen. They mean "frontline" very literally: there's a TON of pieces about and by and interviewing communities on the front lines of environmental conflict, especially developing nations and Indigenous communities world wide. That said there's also a lot of bad news on nature's frontline still, while they report a lot of amazing and powerful good news, make sure you're in a resilient mood when you visit this site, because some of the stories are also pretty upsetting.

Indian Country Today and Native News Online - two of the leading news orgs for Indigenous communities in the United States. Kind of like Mongabay in that they have a lot of good news stories from Indigenous communities that often no one else is reporting on, but also plenty of coverage of things that are definitely not good, so better to read when you're in a resilient mood.

If you have any good news sites/sources you'd like to add, please drop them in the replies or comments! I'm always looking for new good news sources (though I def don't always have time to use all of them, rip!). Plus, let's support these sites by giving them some traffic!

We could all use more ways to get some more good news.

#ask #good news #hope #conservation news #environmental news #human rights #activism

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ephemeralgalaxies · 2 months

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y'all getting a whole ass series of these at this point

Aight it's been a LONG WHILE since Ben has been mentioned in TPP, so when I tell you I REALLY wasn't expecting this one :')

(yes I am relating this line to Nureyev bc everything is plot foil plot foil plot foil)

When Nureyev (Glass) finds out about Juno's brother being dead, he eventually apologizes in a moment of calm for asking about Juno's past. In which Juno offers up information that their mother, in fact, killed Ben... and this is what he says about that info:

s1ep2

Nureyev (Glass): "I'm... so sorry, Juno."

Juno: "I'm not telling you so you'll be sorry. I'm telling you that, so you won't ask me anymore goddamn questions about it. Just— drop it, alright? It's done. It's over."

Nureyev (Glass): "...of course! If that's what you'd like."

Having this mirrored with the s5 phrase of them ending their relationship together (yeah y'all know the one)

s5ep14

Nureyev: "I do not want to see you anymore, Juno."

Juno: "...what?!"

Nureyev: "You said it would just take those words to excise you from my life entirely, didn't you? Well, I've said them. I have no interest in seeing you any longer. None. I am done. We are finished. Do you understand me?"

Juno: "...yeah, I— get you... So, I guess I'll just go now."

Just something about how finale these two moments are in which both Nureyev and Juno are pushing back this great loss as if it isn't destroying them inside, just once again them acting SO SIMILARLY without realizing. And also how both immediately agree to the other's terms. Even if Juno is aching to process Ben's death, even if Nureyev is aching to keep Juno by his side. They both back off from the other.

In fact, it isn't until Nureyev backtracks when Juno tries to leave that Juno starts to question how much Nureyev really meant it. Juno assigned the conditions, yes, but he does know Nureyev. Enough to know that he'd played this game before, especially in protection of someone.

And whether it be with Ben and the mental fuckup of whatever the heck s2's The Monster's Reflection or with Nureyev and his fear of being understood/loved, Juno knows that sometimes, your business with someone just isn't over yet.

#the penumbra podcast #tpp #juno steel #peter nureyev #tpp spoilers #junoverse #jupeter #juno x peter #yall I am thriving rn #aint getting any sleep but #thriving #tpp s1 #tpp s5 #tpp s5 spoilers #just gonna keep using that tage until the next junoverse releases #oh god im gonna crumble on that day #rex glass

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stabbyfoxandrew · 17 days

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Dang it’s hard to pick what to ask for each week bc I love all of your wips so much but I think I asked for angel neil last week so could I get some arsonist neil this time? (also, happy tsc release week! Hope you have a great weekend<3)

WIP Wednesday (4/10) | Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew AU (Part 141)

Andrew The movie was terrible, just so you know. I hated every second of it. My brother enjoyed it, but he’s stupid. Did you know a large soda costs like $50 now? I’m joking, obviously. But the prices are ridiculous, so I suppose I won’t be doing that again for a while.

Once he’s done updating his ghost, Andrew shoves his phone into the couch cushion so he won’t be tempted to stare at it all night. Then he puts on that show Nicky had told him about, to give it a second chance to capture his attention. And it works. He’s able to watch several episodes without even thinking about checking his phone.

Until he feels his ass vibrate.

Andrew looks down at the cushion for a moment, then back to the TV. He’s not going to answer in milliseconds. Not when 10 has taken his sweet fucking time. After finishing the episode he’s on, Andrew slides his phone out like he doesn’t care what’s on it. And that bites him in the ass because it isn’t even 10.

Fucking hell. The anticipation almost killed him and it’s just Nicky?Andrew might just eat his phone.

Nicky Aaron told me you guys had a movie date last night! :) Are you actually friends now or was it a hostage situation?

Andrew rolls his eyes.

Andrew We aren’t friends. We’re brothers. Nicky It’s about time you acted like it. :P I sort of always thought that you two wouldn’t ever get close, until after my funeral. Can you imagine? The two of you being like 80 and my death makes you realize how important family is. And then you live together until you die minutes apart.

Andrew is a bit worried about Nicky’s mental state. But that's always been true.

Andrew That sounds like a shitty rom-com Nicky. And what makes you think I would come to your funeral? You know I hate planes. Nicky Sorry. I watched The Notebook with Erik and his sister last night. Also, rude. You better come to my funeral.

Andrew rolls his eyes.

Andrew I might. Nicky I’ll haunt your tiny ass if you don’t. Andrew Noted. I started watching that German drama you told me about. Nicky Oh yay! Do you love it?! Wait a sec.

Nicky is calling you.

“Oh fuck,” Andrew sighs out. But he answers.

#andreil #aftg #WIP Wednesday #Arsonist Neil / Firefighter Andrew #🕊️#answered #anon

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toastywatchesstevenuniverse · 9 months

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S1 E43

Maximum Capacity

Okay so this entire episode just made me feel like....uncomfortable? Like the entire time I just kept feeling so off. Like my brain was going "okay this is way too weird, why do I feel like there's gonna be some horrifying plot twist?"

Then it fucking happened & I felt like a psychic. Like holy shit it wasn't just me, this episode was purposely uncomfortable on purpose & idk how the fuck they did that but WOW the entire episode made me feel so uneasy & it was legit for a reason.

Also ngl Amethyst....kinda just super fucked up to do that- Like I haven't LOVED Greg as a character so far (he's there but I mean him lying about his leg, good intentions or not, was a pretty shitty move & also he's just kinda not that great of a dad but I also understand that's literally the point so I'm not gonna just toss aside his character because I'm assuming he's supposed to get better as the show goes on. For now: I just kinda feel nothing strong towards him character wise), but oh my God this episode just made me feel so bad for the guy. Holy shit like this dude just misses his wife. Fuck. I'm surprised how much he kept his cool here. Like he didn't blow up at Amethyst or anything he was like super quick to forgive her despite the fact that he kinda would have been super justified in being upset for this. But I like that this was how it was done. No scene of them fighting or yelling, Amethyst just chooses to do something to make up for it without Greg having to lecture her. In that regard: it actually made her seem way more sincere. Like she had to make that choice via her own genuine remorse. I'm wording this badly I think but like I think that it made her seem like she really was trying to attone for it & that she really did regret what she did.

And honeslty after On The Run? With the knowledge that, knowing how severely fucked up Amethyst is mental health wise, yeah her lashing out at people like this? And saying/doing extremely shitty things because she's upset & she doesn't have the capacity to hold herself back & only realizes how badly she fucked up until its too late? Yeah as someone who has that kinda mental health shit as I said in my post about that episode?....yeah, that's pretty accurate tbh. In my experience that's something I can confirm does happen. So yeah it actually makes sense why she did something so extreme out of fucking nowhere.

I have said a lot of really regrettable shit to people that I'm friends with (Sometimes idk how I'm still friends with them after bc I still feel bad about it yet they seem to insist I'm forgiven) during times where I was really fucking upset. And it's only until RIGHT after it happens that I fully go "oh shit that was a really bad thing to say & I made the situation significantly worse" Yet just like irl, they forgive. *cries*

Really well done character focused episode. They did fucking stellar character writing here.

OH WHAT YOU THOUGHT I WASNT GONNA GO INSANE GOBLIN MODE ABOUT PEARL????? TOO BAD PEARL TIME

OH MY GOD SHES IN A SWEATER AND SHES DOING HER BEST YES PEARL YOUR VOLUME IS PERFECT YOURE DOING AMAZING AAAAAAAA SHES SO CUTE AND HUGGABLE LOOK AT HER SHES THE CHARACTER OF ALL TIME !!!!!!

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mrsnancywheeler · 2 months

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HEYYY omg ur post about reader isolating herself from her friends and finnick trying to help ease her back.. :(((( TFT HE CRIES BC HE JUST WANTS HER TO GET BETTER AND HE CARES SM FOR HER… IT HURTS 💔💔

But I can’t stop wondering about how confused Beckett and Tallulah might be when the reader comes back from the games bc of all the propaganda they consumed. about how a victor should act after winning the games. they would understand at first (bc of what happened w conway), but when its like months after her games and she still isolates herself is when they get concerned. Idk what do you think? im just saying things lolll

& i can imagine after the dinner, sweet girl’s initial thoughts are “omg that went horribly” (shoutout anixety/paranoia, they’re like this🤞) but finnick reassures her, “no it didn’t, please u did great :(“

BUT PLEASE WITH THE READER BEING THE BRIDESMAID TO BECKETT AND TALLULAH’S WEDDING :((( just imagining finnick also being there and just them being so cute. He def gets emotional and its not even their wedding

Also, unrelated note: im finally seeing hadestown this week and TRUST i will be thinking abt this series during most songs LMAO

ok this was a mess and i don’t organize/articulate my thoughts well but just wanted to share😋

—🦅

HI POOKIE 💋💋💋

so yes, like they've been fed this idea that victors should be happy because they love opulent lifestyles, have their own tv segments, are so beloved and finnick has very much played into this capitol darling image. so that idea cracks when reader plays the part in public for parties and for the media, but she's completely hollow in day to day life. so they realize that it's not really what they're told, there's a much darker side to winning that hidden that they know better than to ask about or be curious about. so they learn from finnick what they can do to support her and slowly push themselves back into her life and help her open up.

she works hard the whole dinner to not put on a persona, to just be herself and it's hard for her. she's anxious, nervous and it's obvious. beckett's jokes don't land, she adds little to the gossip him and tallulah bring, some nods and sometimes she forces our small things that add to story or commentary. it's enough for them to believe there's hope and that she just needs more support. after they leave she sits at the table still, head buried in be hands.

"they hate me, I wish I was the person I was before."

he's shaking his head ferverously, taking her hands in his. "no they don't. you did so good sweet girl, so proud of you."

he absolutely gets emotional watching her in a gorgeous bridesmaids dress, walking in the precession, makes him want to give the same thing to her. especially when she's told him about the whole process and made small mentions of what she likes versus doesn't, so he's got wedding things completely down for them. although he's anxious about asking, he's nervous he'll scare her off and about her mental stability. so he holds it off and as we know he waits too long.

AAAA I'm so excited for you, have fun, I hope you enjoy it. let me know how it is and anything you thought of!

you're all good, I literally got so excited when I saw it was you, my own eagle screech happened 😭❤️

#wanda 💋#🦅 anon #finnick odair x reader #the lakes #the river

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yanderepuck · 8 months

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Hi! Can I get an angst/comfort fic of Arthur with a female s/o who is depressed and suicidal? Like he walks in on his s/o c*tting while having a mental breakdown? Or he just notices the cuts/scars? Or he walks in on his s/o bl33ding out?? Idk you can get creative with it I’ve just been having an extremely rough couple months. If this makes you uncomfortable then you can just ignore this request, but thanks anyways! I hope you have a great day/night!! <3

SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG. I was so focused on Charles that I couldn't work on anything else.

BUT I LOVE WRITING THIS KINDS OF STUFF BC ITD ALSO MINI THERAPY FOR ME

THAT BEING SAID!!!!! READER!!! YOU READ THE ASK!! YOU ARE AWAY OF THE TRIGGERS IN THIS FIC!!!

I highly appreciate when you guys interact and reblog my fics. But I also completely understand why not everyone can read this kind of material.

He notices everything. Everything but the important parts. But to be honest. You aren't quite sure if you want him to notice.

You have mini arguments with yourself about wanting him to know wanting anyone to know. You just want someone to know how much pain you are in. But then there's the side that says that no one can know. No one can find out.

Even if he were to bring it up you would probably just deny it.

You keep your sleeves down. You make sure you are the only one in the thermae. You're just glad it isn't summer. You can get away with saying it's a bit chilly in the mansion.

Every morning you slap a smile on your face, and the moment you get to your room the whole act drops.

You just recently relapsed. Under your sleeves your forearms are covered in bandages. Arthur keeps getting close and wrapping his arms around you, telling you how the two of you should go back to his room.

You tell him that it's that time of the month and even though he's a vampire, you say that you aren't comfortable with it, and would rather sleep alone.

Without much of a care you go to your room. You gave him a peck on the cheek and that was it. Needless to say it wasn't a very convincing excuse.

You loved him, you really did. But right now you wanted to be alone. No. That's a lie. You don't want to be alone, but you feel like you should be alone, like you deserve to be alone.

You take your shirt off and unravel the bandages around your arm. They still look fresh.

You grab the razor blade you hide in your nightstand drawer along with a towel that is so very bloody. You sit on your bed and fiddle with the blade while you look down at your arm.

Where to do it? You don't want to cross over cuts. You aren't trying to kill yourself just yet so you don't want to get too close to the vein.

There's not much room left. But then you look beyond your arm. Your thighs.

You get your skirt off and start poking at your thigh with the edge of the blade wondering how hard you should press. Would any area be more pleasurable than another?

One way to find out.

The first cut is small and fairly shallow. Just a test.

The second cut is the same length but a little deeper. Now there's some blood.

The third cut got it just right.

The fourth. The fifth. The tenth. The eighteenth.

You realize you might have gone overboard. You didn't mean for this many, but it's a fresh spot. It needs to be covered.

Blood is dripping down your leg.

You are just about to wipe yourself with the towel when there's a knock at the door. Panic sets in.

Did you lock it? The scene of you walking in quickly plays through your head and you don't think you did.

"Give me a mo-"

You don't get a chance to finish and the door is being pushed open. You're just in your bra and underwear. You can't even cover yourself. You're stuck.

"I made you some tea and brought some-"

Arthur cut you off, and the sight in front of him got him speechless. Imagine. Arthur speechless.

The blade is in one hand, the bloody rag in the other, and tears in your eyes. This isn't how he should have found out. You aren't ready.

Arthur drops the tray he was holding and the tea and sweets make a mess on the floor. He rushes over to you and takes the blade from your hand.

You're frozen. You don't even realize he's talking to you, or that he's even touching you. You only snap out when he has his hands on your cheeks and he kisses you.

Tears rolling down his face. "Love....w..why didn't you tell me."

He's panicking with you, but for very different reasons.

"I... I..."

You don't have an answer. You don't have one. What are you supposed to tell him? That it feels good? That it makes you feel alive? That this is better than being a numb empty shell? This is your boyfriend in front of you.

Arthur gets some of his senses back and takes your shirt from the floor and presses it against your thigh to soak up and to stop the blood. The last few got deep. You started to get used to the new flesh.

He kisses you again. "Please say something," he keeps one hand on your cheek so you would look at him.

Your head was in his direction, but your eyes weren't. They were down. Not looking at anything in particular.

"I... I'm sorry," your voice cracks and the tears start. It's like a damn broke.

"Shhh. I'm here now," he lifts the shirt to see how the bleeding is, but then puts the shirt right back over the cuts.

"Everything is going to be okay now," he brushes the hair out of your face and behind your ear. He is now noticing the cuts on your forearm. He doesn't point them out but you can feel his eyes on them.

"I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry," the tears come out harder. Using the back of your hand you try wiping them away.

"Here," h takes your hands and puts them on the shirt. "Keep those there while I go get some things, okay?"

Arthur's hands are stained red. He doesn't want to leave you but he wants to clean your wounds. He leaves and gathers the items he needs as quickly as he can. Paying no attention to anyone he might pass.

He wasn't gone long, and this time he closed the door when he came in.

You still have your hands on the shirt, sobbing. The scene didn't change. He slowly removes your hands and the shirt. With a clean damp towel he gently wipes your thigh to get rid of the extra blood.

"It's going to be okay," he talks softly and he isn't sure if it's for him or for you. "I'll make it all better."

He cleans up your thigh and pats it dry before putting an ointment on it. He isn't sure how well it will stay but he wraps a bandage around it as well. Kissing it once it's wrapped.

Then he looks at your arm and repeats the process. He never once asks why. That's not the right question right now.

By the end of it, he is covered in your blood but it doesn't phase him at all. He goes through your clothes and finds that one big comfy shirt that you like.

"Let's get this on," he puts it over your head and then realizes you will probably be comfier without the bra. He reaches around and unhooks it, helping you slip your arms out of the straps and though the arm holes of the shirt.

He can tell you're exhausted. Mentally and physically. He was going to do everything for you that he possibly could. He tosses your bra to the side and pulls the shirt all the way down.

"Let's lay down," he helps you down. You just about stopped crying, and now you feel even emptier than before. There's almost no life in your eyes.

"I love you," he tells you softly. His heart is still racing. His face is still wet. But he was going to do everything for you.

You reach out and grab his hand, holding it tightly, not wanting to be alone.

"Please... Please don't leave."

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere," he kisses the back of your hand. "Let me clean up and I will lay with you, alright love?"

You don't want to let his hand go, but you trust him. You trust him more than anyone else that he wouldn't leave you like this.

He gives a weak smile and starts to clean up the floor, gathering your clothes, and cleaning up the tray he dropped. He just sets everything to the side.

He takes his own shirt off and adds it to the bloody pile before turning the lights off and crawling in bed with you.

He stays close, but enough to give you space. You weren't in the right headspace to have the talk right now, and he knew that. He would leave it for the morning.

"I love you more than anything," he kisses your cheek and holds your hand. "I would do anything for you."

"I... I'm..."

"Shh... We don't need to talk about it now. I just need you to rest. Doctors orders."

You simply nod your head. With all the crying, and panicking, you felt yourself getting exhausted.. you closed your eyes and tried to think of absolutely anything else to fall asleep.

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp arthur #that ended up being longer than i anticipated

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bil-daddy · 4 months

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hi mr bildad um im just gonna dump this here since i have no one else to talk to

as someone who has always praised in their ability to be friends with anyone (i also need human interaction to survive btw) ive been feeling very lonely, especially since now are the school holidays.

my best friend (who is one year older than me) is barely online and doesn't take me seriously enough. and when i ask my friend group (with 2 other people my age) if they want to go out nothing happens. ive asked so many times but it's like they just don't want to hang out. and i keep seeing them post everywhere of them having fun with their OTHER friends (i don't know them bc they're from their primary schools; we are in secondary school now). and the obvious solution is to hang out with my primary school friends, right? well awesome news I DONT HAVE ANY.

and like ive just been feeling really really lonely especially today. i don't even text anyone except for my best friend, and even then she doesnt really respond properly because its like i dump a lot of messages and 4 hours later she skims through them, rinse and repeat.

(also side note i used to have another best friend but he ended up having a crush on me and didn't give me space so i kinda ended the friendship bc i wasn't comfortable with it)

during my entire TWO MONTH school holiday i haven't gone out with friends. not even once. while i see everyone else my age having so much fun and enjoying life while i just rot at home scrolling through tumblr.

so yeah im not really having a great time. hopefully when i get back to school in january things will be better

sorry for the long rant

Hey, kid (human). No need to apologize for the long rant. Actually, I've got a lot to say about this topic, too, so take a toilet break, grab a beverage and a snack, then sit down with your deal old Bildaddy (platonic, metaphorical) for a chat.

First off, sorry you're going through this. It hurts a lot when friends start fading away, and you realize they no longer consider you as close and you consider them. Feeling left out and like you don't have any real friends seriously sucks.

But it's actually something every single person goes through at some time or another--though most of us aren't brave enough to admit it like you have, because it feels embarrassing and shameful. Like there's something wrong with you.

There isn't.

There is nothing wrong with you.

Friends come and go, and 99% of the time it has nothing to do with you, or anything you've said or done. It isn't your fault. That doesn't mean it hurts any less, but it isn't your fault.

But that being said, I promise you, for every person you see pictures of having so much fun and enjoying life, there are twenty--probably even more--at home like you, scrolling tumblr, or tiktok, or reddit, or whatever the kids are scrolling these days.

And even those people you see posting pictures, that isn't their everyday life. They post pics of the good times, not the bad ones (well not usually) or the boring ones. Especially not the boring ones. I bet they do more sitting at home and scrolling than you think. They're just not advertising that for all their followers to see.

But that's not the point. The point is (dolphins! goats!) your current friends aren't fulfilling your need for socialization. And that means you need to find some new friends, anon.

You can still stay friends with your best friend and that old friend group. As in, don't send them a message officially ending the friendship, and don't delete and/or block them everywhere. You can still talk to them in school when you see them.

(Do unfollow them on social media if seeing them hang without you is upsetting--or better yet, pause on using social media entirely--except for tumblr, of course--until you're in a better place, mentally and emotionally. Bildaddy deleted instagram five years ago and never went back.)

But starting today, back off on asking these friends to hang out, and sending long text messages to your best friend that she only skims through. They're not matching your energy, so you need to start matching theirs. Either they'll notice the difference and start making more of an effort (no, not that kind), or they won't and they won't. But either way, you'll stop wasting your time.

Next, you take all the energy you were spending on your old friend group and start looking for new friends.

While you're still on winter break, there might not be as many opportunities, but there are some possibilities. Do you have any cousins around your age who might wanna hang out? Or maybe there are local events aimed at teenagers you can attend? Check libraries and community centers. Or on New Year's Eve, there might be some sort of Parents Night Out event you can volunteer for and help babysit a group of little kids, along with other teenagers that you could befriend?

Then, when winter break ends, look around your school for other students who might be in your same situation--and trust me there are others in your same situation. Is there someone who always sits alone at lunch? Or what about that kid in class who's too shy to speak up? Is there someone getting bullied or ostracized? Someone new to the school who hasn't made any friends yet? Look for the ones who might need a friend as much--or even more--than you do and try to befriend them.

It won't always work, no, cause nothing always works. But it will work sometimes. And you only need it to work enough times to make a couple friends. And if you make the right friend, they might have a friend group that you can join.

I know it's really scary to put yourself out there and make the first move. But you'd be surprised how receptive people are, especially the shy ones who are too scared to say 'hi' first, and rely on the braver ones, like you, for the human connection they need. Because we all need it. (Even me. Because I'm totally 100% human.)

Other ways to make friends are clubs, in school and out of school, which is probably what adults will suggest if you ask them, so I'm not going to spend much time on this. But they're right. If you're not already in clubs--academic, sports, art, books, music, anime, whatever your interest(s) is--join some! If there's nothing of interesting at your schools, churches and other local organizations might also have youth clubs and activities, too.

Shared interests in a sure way to make friends. I see it happening all the time on Tumblr. Those mutuals you wish didn't live so far away? Well, you can find mutuals just like them IRL! (Especially if you start or join a book club that reads Good Omens, or a tv show club that watches Good Omens)

Another option is getting a part-time job at a place other teenagers work. If this is something you can do without disrupting your schoolwork, try it. Fast food restaurants, cinemas, places like that.

You say you're someone who has the ability to be friends with anyone? Well, prove it! This isn't a threat, by the way. This is encouragement. I'm encouraging you.

Now go out there and make some friends, kid! I know you can do it! I believe in you, and everybody here is rooting for you.

And, as always, have an ox rib (platonic)

#bildaddy answers #life advice from bildaddy (results may vary)#have an ox rib (platonic)#bildaddy #bildad brainrot #bildad nation #bildad the shuhite army #oh bildad we're really in it now #oh bildad the shuhite we're really in it now #bildad my beloved #shutanic temple #bildad the shuite #bildad #bildad the shuhite #bilday #obstetrician thursday

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spearxwind · 8 months

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not to sound weird but what was that work you put in to get where you are 🙏 i want to improve my life so bad but have no clue where to start. even a general gist of things

You dont sound weird! I think it's commendable to want to change your life for the better, and I want to help in any way I can :D

This is also my own perspective but I think a lot of it could be universally applied if you look at it through different lenses of ppls different situations. This also got rly long so I'm putting it under a readmore ^^;

So I had pretty much been isolating myself with increasing ferocity for years until recently. Even when trying to reach out to people I was extremely closed off, keeping my feelings behind many walls and chains always. A lot of my hard work has come from undoing all of that fuckup. I put all my eggs into my online friendships (and even then had a hard time with them).

My behavior was a cluster of personal garbage, learned mannerisms from keeping bad company, and hardwired reactions to specific behaviors. It's something pretty hurtful to realize when you do realize it, but that doesn't mean that you are a bad person or a failure or anything like that. It just means that you have certain bare minimum survival behaviors that worked before but now are only doing you damage, and you have to learn to undo them. (which is a great step!!)

Which brings me to what I have (painfully) learned over the past several years: the basis to any and every good relationship, romantic, platonic, family, or anything is crystal clear communication. Straight up for the love of god communication skills will save your life time and time and time again

And also like I said in earlier posts the solution to wanting to be more social is just BEING more social. This is arguably extremely hard, especially after years of "if they want me around they'll ask me" and always waiting to be invited but not wanting to bother anyone by asking if you can join NO!!!!!!!! GET THAT SHIT OUT OF YOUR BRAIN EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY!!!!! It really does NOT work that way at all. People will invite you to things if they see you express interest in them. The same way that in your head you think 'theyll invite me if they want me to go' if they dont see you express interest people will think you dont want to join. If you go someplace and just stay recluse because youre shy they likely will also think "theyre probably not comfortable or dont want to be here, so we wont force them". People are inherently kind and they are definitely NOT thinking about shunting you on purpose (and I am speaking this, genuinely, from personal experience)

While I was studying my major I got close to a group of people and thought of them as my friend group, but they always seemed cold to me, and I rarely got invited to hangouts because they seemed closer among themselves so I ended up always thinking that they didn't really want me around, and created all of these assumptions in my mind about them or what they thought of me.

Years later, recently, I found one of them again just... randomly while walking through the street and we started talking. And in my much better state of mind I asked about this whole thing because I wanted to know how the rest of the group was doing (I care very much for them still) and he revealed to me that THEY were the ones who thought I was shutting myself off of the group bc I didnt wanna be close to them. Which just blew my mind but it made a lot of sense and explained a lot. I was always on my phone too, talking with my internet friends (because it was my comfort zone), so what they'd assumed was that I already had a friend group that I was invested in and so I wasnt going to prioritize them. SO basically this whole thing ended up being resolved with clear communication and would have been solved much earlier if I had just spoken up about it and gotten braver (though my mental state did not let me at the time)

Anytime you are making up assumptions and ultimatums in your mind without communicating them to the other party you should stop and very much go and speak out loud to the other party (or parties) it will genuinely do you good cause huge as hell brain snowballs do nothing but drown you in your own mind.

Also on the being social front, if you dont have the practice in then it will be hard but a lot of it is very much "fake it till you make it" and I genuinely cannot recommend that enough. Inject yourself into conversations and places and act like yourself unapologetically because the secret isnt to craft a persona that you think people will like, its just being yourself and finding people who will love you for who you are. And like I said I just got invested in other ppls plans and asked to be able to go to places, and oftentimes just by expressing interest i got invited "oh I love this show very much!!" "well we have a plan to watch it at my pals house do you wanna come?" "we were planning on going to X place this week" "omg that sounds so cool can I come with" "of course!" Generally people will respond with "the more the merrier" so please dont be afraid to ask. And even if you get a rejection or two it's fine, don't let it discourage you. Some plans are simply not meant to be, and that's totally fine too!

Something else I worked for was reestablishing contact with old highschool friends I'd lost and I missed terribly. I went out of my way to find them again (old phone numbers, old emails, old instagram accounts that hadnt posted since 2019), and I found them!

And most of them really missed me too and were absolutely thrilled I contacted them again, we picked up right where we left off eight years prior. With a lot to catch up to but its genuinely so nice to have them in my life rather than just melancholically thinking about them and wondering if they hated me or anything. Turns out that they had also thought to contact me as well or had tried and lost my phone, or some of them even thought that it was better to leave things as they were to not "stir up shit" so we were all stuck in the same loop of insane thinking without actually confirming it until one of us (me in this case) finally broke the ice (and it took a damn long time too)

The thing is, people are just like you. We all have our own mental nonsense to fight, and we all have our assumptions and propensity to think ourselves into the grave, that's why its so so so so important to communicate things as clearly and as often as possible. Bearing your suffering alone will only make you miserable in the end, and your circle is there to help you

As a last note, I do want to say I have been incredibly lucky, because the friend group I've been adopted into I have met through that one friend from uni that I just HAPPENED to find on the street. I could have not waved him over on the street and just kept walking with my music on and ignored him. I could have said 'no' to his offer to get dinner that day if I'd wanted to be home earlier. I could have never spoken up about liking eurovision and never gotten invited to the hangout where I met my bf. And none of this would have ever happened at all. But that just strengthens my advice of "just say yes and reach out of your comfort zone" because you never know where it's going to lead you!

All this to say:

Communicate clearly with your peers to reduce misunderstandings. More likely than not they'll be in the same boat as you are. (Also extra note. Communication works BOTH WAYS. It needs to come from both parties. It is also a skill you have to nurture and hone!!)

Be kind!! and be loving!! and be yourself unapologetically!!

reach out to people the same way that you'd want to be reached out to. It sucks that sometimes (even often) you have to be the one to do it, but you eventually reap what you sow and people will learn that they can reach out to YOU

People will respond in kind to you being nice to them and a positive energy in their life. Some people will take advantage of it yes, thats just how things are, and its something you have to learn to recognize but you should never let that steel your heart. It is so so so important to remain kind and loving the world needs it so much. We're all out here trying to make our own lives and our loved ones lives a little bit brighter <3

#ask #anon #advice #this is so long and again it is from my perspective but this is what I have done so I am really hoping it helps you #im wishing u the best of luck anon i hope you are able to better your life significantly <3 #please feel free to keep me posted on your progress whenever you make any. be that in a few months or a few years

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