#i haven't written anything for a while now because some of my keys on my old laptop started to fall out so I was getting frustrated

[lenievi]

speaking of camping...

#:D #tos nonsense #if i stare at this screenshot for long enough maybe i'll come up with a reason why mccoy and kirk would get stuck on a planet together #and alone #i haven't written anything for a while now because some of my keys on my old laptop started to fall out so I was getting frustrated #but now I have a new laptop so I might start writing something again #preferably my tos mc/k wip but any other mc/k idea is also good

[tsxkkis]

# tsukishima kei - drunk in love!

a/n = is this a comeback of mine of sorts? yes (although i don't want it to be, since it's not my best work). i haven't written anything in so long, and i really love the idea of a stoic, serious character acting clingy and completely different when drunk (reminds me of shin from a sign of affection, who's my fav boy ever), that's why tsukki might be kind of out of character here. also, i didn't proofread this because it ended up being longer than i expected.

summary = an intoxicated tsukishima is a clingy tsukishima. and also, he might say a bit too much for his own liking.

warnings = out of character tsukki (bcs he's drunk), mentions of alcohol

drunk tsukishima was surely a sight to see.

to see a man, usually so serious and stoic, in a state like that was almost uncanny. his cheeks flushed pink, a stupid smile plastered to his face as he giggled quietly over what yamaguchi just said.

after your entire friend group went their own ways either starting university or pursuing a career in volleyball, it became a common practice for the few of you to just meet up and discuss the latest life achievements with a drink in hand. everyone eagerly awaited that particular moment of the week, some (meaning yachi, of course) would even set weekly countdowns to try and surpass their excitement.

tsukishima kei, out of the entire group, was usually the more reasonable one, opting only for a drink or two. But after a particularly hard exam at uni, which he passed with flying colors, his friends decided in unison that this evening would be different.

the room was filled with laughter, tsukishima's tall body laying on the couch, his head pressed against yamaguchi's chest. alcohol made him somewhat clingy; extremely clingy, if you were to compare him to his usual demeanor. a low hum left his lips, his hand coming up to take his glasses off.

'i'm gonna regret this tomorrow.' he mumbled, being met with a wave of laughter in response. your eyes focused on his face for a minute, scanning it thoroughly. continued mumbling something, the tips of his ears bright red, face probably burning after all the alcohol he digested. but your mind was focused on something completely different.

he looks really handsome without glasses.

'y/n. i think he might have to stay here for the night.' yamaguchi's voice echoing through the room brought you back to life, your eyes quickly darting away from the blonde's face to focus on her friend. the freckled boy had an awkward look on his face, a usual for him, as he stood up, heading for his coat with yachi following right after.

they mentioned previously that both of them will have to leave earlier this time, but you only remembered that now; a warm understanding smile gracing your face as you said your goodbyes, the three of you giggling at tsukishima mumbling how he's going to 'beat you all up tomorrow for making him so drunk.'

as the door closed behind them, a sigh left your lips. the apologetic look on yamaguchi's face wasn't there for no reason; he, as well as the rest of your friends, were all well aware of the massive crush you had on him. ever since freshman year, it's been something you promised yourself you will hide from him forever.

tsukishima stretched his arms, a yawn leaving his lips as the late night hours finally caught up to him. you didn't notice when your neutral look turned to a bright smile. there was something incredibly comforting in this specific sight, tsukishima's soft features looking completely different from his usual appearance.

you crouched down next to the couch, trying to decide whether you should leave him to sleep here or try to get him to your bed and take the couch yourself. you almost didn't notice tsukishima's eyes glued to your face, a curious look to them as he scanned your features, something incredibly similar to what you've done just a while ago. he looked deep in thought, the pinkish color fading from his cheeks with time.

'has anyone told you you have a really interesting face?' he stated, his lips curved up in a proud smile as if he'd given you the greatest compliment of all time. 'you know, it's like a kaleidoscope. no matter how long you stare at it, you still can't take your eyes off of it.'

you laughed, the tips of your ears burning red, regardless of how stupid his 'compliment' was. sober tsukishima would never say something like this, but then again, that was the whole point. the sole reason why the blonde didn't drink much was that it brought out a different side of him.

an embarrassing one at that.

'alright, kei. let's get you to bed.'

you used all the strength you had to get him off the couch, a satisfied smile on your face when he got up on his own, almost tumbling over in the process. a giggle escaped your lips at the sight; knowing just how much you were going to laugh at him for it tomorrow, and every day after that.

you motioned for him to sit down on the bed, swiftly moving towards the wardrobe to him some fresh bedding.

'ohhhh,' a prolonged hum left tsukishima's lips as you started changing the sheets, his curious eyes following your frame around the room. he had his glasses back on, so now he could actually see what was happening. 'are we sleeping together?'

you almost choked on your own saliva.

your eyes met his for a brief second, just as you were finishing with the bed. you gently pushed him to lay down, taking his glasses off in the process so he won't break them when sleeping.

'i'll be sleeping on the couch tonight, so no.'

you looked over to the boy only to see... a frown?

it was almost as if you were looking at a completely different person. you were once more amazed with just how much a few drinks can change someone's behavior entirely.

tsukishima reached for your hand, pulling you down to lay with him. his touch send a wave of shivers down your body, as his tall frame scooted closer to you.

'stay here.' he murmured quietly. in that very moment, you forgot he wasn't sober; you wanted this situation to actually become reality. so, with a tad bit of hesitation, you obliged.

soon sleepiness got the best of you, your eyes slowly fluttering shut as you fell asleep, the blonde laying right beside you, his arm wrapped around your body as he murmured something under his breath. you didn't catch half of what he said, but there were three distinct words that you managed to understand.

'i love you.'

as tsukishima woke up the next day, a headache accompanying him from the moment he opened his eyes, the side of the bed was already empty. he slowly got up, arms reaching for his glasses laying on the small coffee table by the bed.

he slowly but surely tumbled into the kitchen, surprised when he saw a cup of tea standing in front of him already. his eyes shot up to be met with your figure, standing by the kitchen counter and making breakfast.

you smiled at the boy, looking at him for a spare second before focusing back on chopping the vegetables.

'this should help you with your headache.' you said, putting the last of chopped tomatoes into the bowl before giving the salad a nice mix, as silence took over the room.

'i said something stupid yesterday, didn't i?' his words echoed through the kitchen, disrupting the silence between you.

'now that you mention it' you said, putting down a bowl of food and a fork in front of him, sitting down on the chair right beside him. 'you did compare my face to a kaleidoscope, pouted like a kid when i told you i'm sleeping on the couch and were mumbling some incoherent words right before you fell asleep.'

tsukishima slightly covered his face, trying to hide his visible embarrassment at the mention of his drunken actions.

'well, at least i didnt confess to you when drunk.'

you looked at him for a long minute, your eyes indicating that something of this sort did happen yesterday. tsukishima's face was now flushed pink, more embarrassed than ever.

'oh.'

the room went completely silent, the two of you focusing on your food as you tried to think of any way to shift the conversation, get rid of the massive amounts of awkwardness.

tsukishima stood up, quickly getting your attention as your eyes shot up to meet his, a look on his face which you couldn't quite decipher.

'sorry for yesterday.' he sighed, hand moving up to adjust his glasses. he had a somewhat troubled look on his face, one that was apparent no matter how much he tried to hide it behind his cold demeanor.

he opened his lips for a few seconds, hesitant about his next words.

'i had somewhat of a different idea for my confession, but i guess that's it.'

you froze on the spot, mouth slightly agape, eyes searching for any indicators of tsukishima's words being a joke. despite trying really hard, she found nothing; only a nervous silence on the blonde's end, waiting for you to say something, anything.

'you... like me?'

he could only nod in response, distressed when seeing the huge grin growing on your face. he had no idea what to expect when you took a few steps towards him, but it definitely wasn't a kiss on the cheek, leaving his cheeks a deep shade of red.

'it's good to know that my feelings are mutual.'

taglist: @ox1-lovesick @moonswolfie @wyrcan

#tsxkkis #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #karasuno x reader #tsukishima fluff #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu fluff

[ahsxual]

Dark Sins

Pairing: William Afton x Fem!Reader (and a little of Stu Macher x Fem!Reader)

Summary: You and Stu have been together for a while now. You didn't like his friend Billy, because in your opinion he meant trouble. But Stu didn't care about it. In fact, it only made him want to hide you from Billy. So when the two of you were at Stu's house and Billy showed up, Stu made you hide yourself in the bathroom... little did you both know that his dad was taking a shower.

Genre: Smut

Warnings: minors don't interact +18, cheating (I don't support this, only wrote it for the fic!!), Stu not being the best boyfriend, implied age gap (reader is on her 20s, William is 50), fingering, oral sex (f&m receiving), squirting, dirty talk, mentions of daddy, chocking, cursing, degrading and humiliation kink, cnc, almost getting caught, perv!William, Dom!William x Sub!Reader

Word Count: 2,8k

Part II & Part III

A/N: In this fic, William is Stu Macher's father. I just love this idea, so I decided to write this crossover. I haven't written for so long, so I'm sorry for any mistakes or the low quality fic. I missed writing for you guys, so here I am! I'm trying my best <33

You and Stu Macher had been together for a few weeks now. He was your crush since you met him last year, and things developed over time, specially after one of his parties. You guys had sex in his bedroom at one of his parties, and let's just say it was the best fuck you guys ever had. The adrenaline running through your veins from the alcohol, the passion between you two and the risk of getting caught by one of your friends was too much. You were extremely happy when, after a couple of months, he wanted to make it official. It was like a dream coming true... I mean, who wouldn't want to be Stu Macher's girlfriend? But like in all relationships, nothing is completely perfect... and when you met his best friend Billy, you couldn't help but hate the guy. He had this creepy look whenever he looked at you both and you talked about it with Stu. Apparently the guy hated you too, so Stu decided to hide you from him. Like, literally.

It pissed you off even more. How can your boyfriend prefer his best friend over you?? The PDA between the two of you didn't exist anymore whenever Billy was around, and that hurted you. So today, you decided to go talk about this with Stu.

"Hey... can we talk?" you asked Stu when he opened his house's door for you. He already knew what you wanted to talk about, so he rolled his eyes and let you enter his house.

"Sure babe, come in." he said in fake excitement, which annoyed you to no end. How can he still think it's your fault and there's nothing wrong with what he's doing... or better, allowing others to do. It's like he cares way too much about what Billy thinks or not. What a weird relationship they have...

You both went to his room for some privacy, since his dad was at home. Talking about the man, there was something strange, maybe even creepy about him too. He barely talks to you or says anything at all, always busy with work on the few times he's at home. However, his intense eyes always seemed to analyze your body like a predator analyzes its prey. At least, that's how you felt. And it sent shivers down your spine every single time, for whatever reason unknown to you.

"So... I assume you already know what I want to talk about with you..." you were the first one to break the ice, since you and Stu have had been silent for a few minutes now. You shouldn't be feeling so nervous and you didn't want to bother Stu, but things had to be talked about when something bothers you. Communication is the key for a good relationship and that's what you decided to do.

"Yeah, I think I do." Stu seemed way too relaxed for your liking, his arms supporting his body onto his bed like he didn't care how this conversation would end.

"Can you just pretend that you care about how I'm feeling instead of like, running away? Because that's what it looks like you're doing and it annoys me, Stu. Deeply." you shouted at Stu, your patience disappearing by each second. But when he looked at you with those hungry eyes, you immediately knew what he wanted to do. Again. Every single time.

"Come on babe, we can do so many interesting things instead of arguing, don't you think? You look so fucking hot when you're mad at me." a large smirk was planted on his face, before he pushed you down onto his bed, his tall and lean body over yours while he grabbed both of your wrists with one hand and pinned them on the bed. He started sucking and kissing your neck, while his free hand grabbed your tits hard, making you moan.

"Stop it Stu, we have to talk about..." you tried to sound serious, but the truth was that you forgot what you wanted to talk about in the first place. You couldn't resist Stu: he had that power over you, and even tho you hated it sometimes, it was simultaneously the thing you loved about him the most. The way he made you weak to your knees by a simple touch. You felt like you were in heaven for a few minutes, before Stu's phone started ringing. You both looked at it annoyed, and when you thought you couldn't be more bothered, you saw Billy's name on it. Stu immediately got up, before sending you an apologetic look.

"Hey man, what's up?" Stu's face went from excitement to fear in a second, and you looked at him asking mentally what happened. "Yeah sure, just give me a sec." and then Stu hung up the call.

"What happened? What did he want?" your tone was a little bit harsh towards Stu, but you couldn't control it. What did Billy possibly want this time??

"I'm sorry baby, but... Billy is actually on my doorstep. He's outside and needs to talk to me... like right now." you could tell your boyfriend was feeling bad for interrupting your intimate moment, but he still didn't say no to Billy.

"You're kidding me, right? Does he know that I'm with you? Can't you tell him that??"

"Come on y/n, just cooperate with me! It will be fast I promise, just..." he paused for a second, before grabbing your arm and taking you to the bathroom. "Just stay here for a minute, okay? Don't come out until I tell you so! Love ya!" he then kissed you and put you inside of his bathroom way too quickly to realized that it might be occupied...

"Wtf!" you shouted quietly, visibly pissed off by the ridiculous situation you were put in. How could Stu do this to me?? Hiding his own girlfriend, because his friend didn't like me? You thought. When you were walking backwards, you didn't even realized that the bathroom was in fact, occupied. By your boyfriend's father.

"Shit!!" you screamed when you collided with a strong, bare and wet chest. When you turned around, you couldn't believe your eyes. It was your boyfriend's father, William Afton, completely naked with just a towel around his hips. You stared a little too long to his tall, nice built body for his age, before you closed your curious eyes. "Omg, I'm so so sorry Mr. Afton, I didn't- this is all that asshole's fault!" you whispered to yourself the last part, referring to Billy. Well, in reality it was Stu's fault, but you didn't want to think about it that way.

"May I know why you haven't left yet? Seems like you're enjoying being here... in my presence." William's tone was serious and his eyes roamed all over your body, since you were wearing a short dress. If you weren't feeling so embarrassed, you could tell that he was in fact teasing you.

"I-I can't Mr. Afton... Stu doesn't want me to get out of here... I don't know what to do... well, on second thought, I should probably go." you never felt so embarrassed in our entire life. You didn't know if you should leave and go against your boyfriend's stupid request, or if you should just stay there being confronted by Mr. Afton lustful eyes and semi-naked body. This was his opportunity, he thought. Just the two of you... alone.

He wanted to show you how much his son didn't deserve you. He wanted to show you who could be a real man to you. Someone who didn't refuse to pleasure you like his son did to you just now, even tho you could be caught. What you didn't know, was how long William have been desiring you. Waiting for the perfect opportunity to be with you and make you forget about his son only with his dick. To prove to you that you didn't know real pleasure until he fucked you until you're begging for his mercy.

"Who said you're getting out of here, huh?" how dumb and innocent you are, he thought. Thinking that now that everything was according to his plan, you could escape him. It made him laugh, actually.

"I-I don't understand, sir..." your back was against the bathroom door, not allowing you to escape his slow approach towards your small body compared to his. The moment you called him sir made his cock harder, and when you noticed it through the thin towel, you gasped loudly not just by the unknown effect you had on him, but at the size of it. It was huge and you could tell that it was thicker than Stu's dick.

He noticed you staring at his cock and smirked at your reaction. He knew deep down you wanted him too. You naughty, dumb slutty girl. He suddenly approached you faster, not even caring about the fact that his towel fell on the ground, leaving him completely naked in front of you and showing you his dick fully erected because of you. Before you tried to say something, he covered your mouth with his big hand.

"Shhh. Don't say a single fucking word, you understand me? You don't want my son to find out that you're about to get fucked by his father, now would you?" his voice was deep and low, and you could hear the lust in it. You felt scared. Terrified actually, for what was about to happen. But then, you felt something that betrayed your mind. Your panties were dripping and your clit was throbbing, wanting desperately to be touched. All of a sudden, you heard the door being locked by William.

"Please Mr. Afton, I-I don't want to cheat on Stu, please..." you were so desperate not to sin, since you're completely against cheating. But it seemed like you had no choice... and the worst of it, was that you couldn't deny how much attracted you felt to the older man. By this point, you didn't know if you were talking to William or to yourself. Suddenly, you felt William's cock against you, hard and desperate for your attention.

"Too late for that, bunny. I'm gonna teach you how a real man can pleasure a sweet thing like you... don't lie to yourself. You want this as much as I do." he suddenly grabbed your hand and put it on his hard cock, pre-cum leaking from the tip. You started to jerk him off, not being able to stop since he was controlling your movements. "That's it, you dirty slut. Now be a good girl and suck daddy's cock." William forcedly grabbed your hair and pushed you to your knees, making you gasp in pain. He then opened your mouth and shoved his dick in, making you gag around him.

You started to suck him off since you had no option but to obey, before he pushed you back by your hair and took your dress and bra off, leaving you only in your panties.

"Don't worry, I'll rip them out soon." the older man promised before he pushed you against his cock again. After a few minutes, he felt himself almost reaching his limit, so he pushed you back once again, this time for good. He then grabbed you and put you onto the long bathroom vanity, before tearing your white panties in one move.

"Mr. Afton! Those were my favorite panties!" you were shocked by his rough action, realizing that when he said something, he would do it. William laughed at your face, realizing that you and Stu apparently never had real fun.

"If you behave and cum for me, maybe I'll give you new ones for Christmas." he promised before circling your extremely sensitive clit. You moaned loudly, so he quickly covered your mouth once again. "What a dirty fucking whore you are. Can't keep your mouth shut while being fingered by a man old enough to be your father... leaving aside the fact that it's actually your boyfriend's father too." he degraded you, before shoving 2 long and thick fingers inside you, not giving you any time to adjust to him. His movements were cruel and faster than any man you had ever been with before, making you cum in a few minutes.

"Fuck Mr. Afton, I'm gonna cum!! Please s-stop!" you didn't know why you were pleading him to stop if you didn't want to. Maybe you thought that if you didn't cum, maybe it wasn't real cheating... How stupid you were to think that. Obviously there was no going back now.

"You're fucking dripping, bunny. Look at my fingers, fucking you so easily and being all drenched in your cum. You should be ashamed of yourself, you fucking slut. I bet my son never made you cum so fast and hard." and those degrading words, which were the truth even tho you didn't want to admit it, were enough to make you orgasm. Hard. The way Mr. Afton humiliated and deprived you to breath properly with his hand covering your mouth and nose, was all you needed to squirt onto his big hand. Your moan was muffled by William's hand, otherwised Stu and Billy would hear you without any doubt.

"Oh fuck..." you said once you looked at the mess you made. William's fingers and cock were drenched in your cum, and he hadn't even fucked you with his cock yet. "I'm so sorry Mr. Afton-" your apology was completely ignored and immediately replaced by a loud gasp from you when William opened your legs and licked your cunt like he was a starved man. His tongue expertly sucked your wet clit before he fucked your hole with his long tongue. He continued to suck on your clit and fuck your hole just the way you loved, when suddenly you heard Stu's voice. You wanted to scream from fear of being caught in such a vulnerable, embarassing position and act, but William knew you too well already, so he put his hand over your mouth before you could make any sound and continued his attack on your dripping pussy.

"Wait man!" you heard Stu saying to Billy. Apparently, Billy wanted to go to the bathroom, but Stu stopped him just in time. "You should go to the bathroom downstairs. I took a shit on that one before you arrived." if you weren't in this situation, where your boyfriend's dad was eating you out like a madman, you would have laughed at the poor excuse that your boyfriend came up with. However, you were too focused on cumming again, this time on William's mouth since he didn't stop fucking your cunt with his tongue the whole time. Oh, that mouth... you definitely wouldn't forget it. It even looked like somehow, William did want to get caught to prove his son that he could make you cum harder and faster. That even if he was older, he was better nonetheless.

You started to feel your second orgasm approaching. "Fuck Mr. Afton, I'm gonna fucking cum again." you didn't know why would you tell him that or why you were saying it out loud, if you felt ashamed about all of this.

"Come on, babygirl. Cum for daddy one more time, squirt all over my face." and that was it. Somehow you managed to squirt once again, this time on William's face. Even tho it wasn't as much as before, you still covered his face and mouth with your cum. "Good girl. I know you could do it. You're being so nice for me, just one more time." when he said that last part, you looked at him with wide eyes.

"I-I can't anymore sir, please..." you were breathless and covered in sweat from his actions. He suddenly grabbed your neck and chocked you enough to make it difficult to breath.

"Yes you can, and you'll do it for me." for the first time, you were scared of him. Scared about what he could possibly do to you and the fact that you could be caught anytime now. He lined his big cock against your overstimulated pussy, ready to fuck and destroy you, before you both heard Stu's voice again.

"Alright man, see ya later! Don't forget to bring my things tomorrow!" Stu said before closing the front door downstairs, saying goodbye to Billy. You looked desperately at William, and even if he wanted to destroy you right there and then and couldn't care less if Stu caught you both fucking, he didn't want you to be in big trouble. You and William started to hear Stu's footsteps, so William took your damaged panties with him, grabbed his towel from the ground to cover himself up and got ready to go to his bedroom before Stu came in and saw you two together.

"Get yourself presentable. You don't wanna look like you just had been fucked, right? Next time bunny, I'll make sure there's no one to interrupt us. Prepare that tight and sweet pussy of yours." he said in a serious and cold tone, like he didn't just say the most sinful thing to you. Before he left, he smelled deeply your ripped and drenched panties and stuffed them inside his mouth.

And there you were. Left alone naked, covered in sweat and cum and thinking about how William's cock would feel deep inside of you, ripping you apart.

And that's when reality hit you and slapped you hard in the face. You just cheated on your boyfriend with his own fucking father.

#william afton smut #wiliam afton #william afton x reader #william afton x reader smut #william afton x you #steve raglan smut #steve raglan #stu matcher x reader #stu matcher x you #stu matcher imagine #william afton imagines #william afton fic #william afton x female reader #smut fic #matthew lillard x reader #matthew lillard #matthew lillard smut #fnaf smut #matthew lillard william afton #steve raglan x you #steve raglan x reader #smut william afton #smut fnaf #william afton #william afton fnaf #Dark Sins series

[cherryobx]

Hey!! I saw that you are taking requests (I also want to procrastinate studying, lol), so I thought I would request a Rafe oneshot where maybe he is helping his girlfriend move into her dorm and a bunch of frat guys start hitting on her and asking if she needs help and he gets all territorial and jealous? Just some cute fluff? Please and thank you, lovely!!!

Move-in day || R. C.

summary: Rafe helps you move in to your dorm but becomes territorial when a guy doesn't get the hint.

word count: 1.3k

a/n: i'm not sure i like this one but bare with me i haven't written anything in more then a year so, thank you sm for the request!!! i love how all of you are supporting my procrastination and/or procrastinating yourself haha

warnings: some guy

You unlock the door, revealing your dorm room. It’s very basic and bland but you can’t wait to start decorating it to make it feel more like home and a safe space for you to relax in. There are two single beds on each side of the room. Also two closets and tables for you and your roommate who hadn’t moved in yet. Your roommate was assigned to you by the school since you didn’t have any friends or acquaintances that were also going to this college. You’d much rather share a room with someone you know but it is what it is.

You choose a side of the room and sit on the edge of your new bed, looking around the room and taking everything in. You can’t believe you’re actually here. After all the hard work and applying to many different colleges, you got into your dream school. You’d only dreamed about this place in your head and now you’re physically here.

You then leave the room and on your way outside you dial Rafe who dropped you off and then went to find a good parking spot near the housing. 

“Yeah?” he answers the call.

“Where are you?”

He describes where he parked his car and directs you to him. You already see him from across the parking lot and give him a wave, which he returns with a big smile and a wave of his own.

The trunk of his car is popped open and he’s already stacking boxes into the carts provided by the school.

“How was it?” he asks as soon as you reach him, referring to the room. 

“Pretty okay.” You shrug and grab a few bags from the back seat, slinging them over your shoulders. Then you manage to grab a box of your books as well. It’s heavy but the room is not that far away.

“Are you sure you can carry that much?” he calls after you.

“It’s rude to call your girlfriend weak, Rafe.”

“I’m not calling you weak!” he defends himself.

“Yeah, right,” you laugh. “Third floor, 5th door on the right.”

You leave him unloading the car in the parking lot while you make your way back to the building. On the way to the third floor, you bump into some guys on the staircase. 

“Hey! Need any help with that?” one of them asks, hands already outstretched. Since your shoulders are already hurting because of the weight of the stuff you’re carrying, you accept his help. What were you thinking taking the stairs? The elevator was right there.

He takes the box from your hands and lets out a grunt. “Damn, that’s heavy! What’s in here?” he starts making his way up the stairs and you follow, adjusting the straps of the duffle bags on your shoulders. The dude’s friends follow you two, whispering something unintelligible behind your back but they’re too quiet to make out what they’re actually saying.

“My books.”

The guy chuckles and asks where your room is. You tell him and soon enough you reach the third floor. He pushes open the door leading to the third floor dorms and holds it open for you while you scramble past him to your door. You fish out the key from the pocket of your pants and open the door. 

“You can just put it on the table.” I let the guy into my room while his friends linger in the doorway.

Thanking him, you throw the bags on your bed. He places the box gently on the table and then turns to you. “What’s your name?”

“Y/N.” You give him an awkward but polite smile, hoping he’d get the hint and leave now but he leans against the desk, crossing his arms on his chest instead. He looks like he’s not planning to go anywhere.

“You wanna come to a party tonight, Y/N? Bunch of upperclassmen are throwing a little party for the freshmen. You could be my date.”

You stare at him, eyes wide. “Uhmm, thank you for the invite but no. I have a lot to unpack and-”

“Oh come on!” he interrupts. “We could have fun and get to know each other. And drink.”

“No, thank you. I appreciate your help and all but I think you should go now.”

“Don’t be like that! You haven’t even given me a chance.”

“You will not get a chance either way. I have a boyfriend.” 

“So? You’re in college now, let loose. He doesn’t have to know. ”

Meanwhile Rafe has finally made it to the third floor with the two carts full of your belongings. He pushes them out of the elevator and towards your room. Already from the elevator he can see two guys standing at your door, which he finds very suspicious. He faintly hears the conversation going on in your room and his blood starts to boil. When the two guys standing there notice him arriving, they scurry off and Rafe scoffs before entering your room.

“Know what?”

The guy leaning on your desk is startled and he stands up, not so cocky anymore. “Uhh…”

Rafe now stands between you and the guy whose name you don’t even know. He straightens his back and stares him down with that mean look he has but which he has never used on you. The other guy is obviously intimidated by him since Rafe is basically towering over his shorter frame.

“She said no. She has a boyfriend. So I suggest you leave before I punch you in the face so hard no girl will even look in your direction ever again,” Rafe growls.

“Whatever she’s not worth it anyways.” The guy shrugs and turns to leave. Rafe’s fists are clenched by his side and he looks like he’s about to strike when you place your hand on his back, making him look at you over his shoulder.

“Drop it.” Rafe takes a deep breath and you feel his shoulders relax under your touch.

The guy lets out a scoff as he leaves but Rafe’s eyes remain on you. “Are you okay?” he asks, worry laced in his voice as he turns to face you, hands now on your shoulders.

“I’m fine. He just helped me with my books and he got the wrong idea.”

“A very wrong one at that. I was so close to punching him in his stupid face for even talking to you in the first place.”

You place your hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat under your palm. “You can’t stop every guy from talking to me. You’re not even here most of the time.”

“Watch me.”

“Rafe.”

He rolls his eyes.

“I’m serious. But he was a jerk anyway. I go for non-jerk guys.” Your lips are turned into a slight smirk.

“Do you now?”

“Yeah.”

“Am I not a jerk?” he asks, hands sliding down to your hips, pulling you flush against him.

“Oh, you definitely are, but just not to me.”

“I’d never be a jerk to you. You know that, baby. But you’re mine. I can’t stand the thought of guys like him talking to you.” He lets out a frustrated sigh.

“I know but I can handle myself.”

“I know you do.” But the next time he visits, he hands you a little box which contains a necklace with his name so everyone knows you’re taken.

#rafe cameron #rafe obx #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x y/n #outer banks #obx #request

[blackopals-world]

What's the NRC staff's experience at ♨️!Yuu's bath house? I don't believe you've ever written about it in detail; only mentioning it on ♨️!Yuu's initial post. Then again I may have missed it since Tumblr is being rude right now. Feel free to gloss over this one if it doesn't seem like something you want to answer.

I haven't written about this yet.

The staff are in the unique position of having free access to the Onsen and its service. In exchange, it gets to operate without an alcohol license.

Yuu has promised that all the drinks are watered-down to the legal requirements and no one is getting drunk (which is only half true.) Keeping the faculty in the loop keeps Yuu out of trouble.

The Onsen has a private spring designated for VIPs and faculty. It has unlimited food and bottle service.

The main reason the adults use it is because it's the only place to relax away from students. Say what you want but standing all day, and being surrounded by unruly brats is exhausting. The onsen is perfect for getting away.

Everyone has a reason to go and it differs for everyone.

Trein

He's old he needs a good soak in the mineral baths. He usually drinks a strong soju and talks to Yuu about his younger days. Grandpa has a lot of wild stories before he became a teacher. He also goes on and on about his wife and how they fell in love.

He treats Yuu like a grandkid and goes to the onsen mostly for the atmosphere.

Crewel

He completely changes when he's relaxed. Yeah, he is worried about Yuu but when he is tired he needs to cut loose. He will literally let his hair down for one thing. He smokes even if Yuu gives him the stink eyes and tells him to take it outside.

He usually let's Yuu mix him a cocktail or a house wine of their choosing.

He uses the spa services the most. Facials, manicures, pedicures, and hair treatments.

Behind all that, if you get him in at the same time as Sam he's a college student again. Roughhousing, drinking, and telling vulgar jokes. If Yuu isn't there to see it.

Sam

The only reason he's still allowed is because he supplies the Spa and bar. He doesn't ask questions either.

He orders hard liquor, dark. Whiskey, vermouth, and Adictivo Doble Reposado (a favorite in my family) He once tried to get away with ordering absinthe and was poured a glass of water.

He enjoys the steam room says it feels like a hot summer Louisiana day by the bayou. (Trust me you with that was true. Louisiana summers can be amazing but the swamp is no joke)

Sam likes to goad the others into drinking more before challenging them to a few rounds of cards. He doesn't play any of the workers because Yuu trains them on how to win or lose games on purpose. Those girls could whoop your butt.

Vargas

He needs a good ice bath and massage after training. He views the onsen as an important part of taking care of your health. Taking time to relax the muscles and taking care of your body is key to a long life and healthy mind.

That being said he orders tons of beer and food. We can't all be perfect. He falls asleep sometimes and snores like a bear.

He likes to play ping-pong in the game room but he's really bad at it. No one tells him because he's so determined to win. It's doesn't matter because if everyone is drunk they all suck but think they are playing the best game of pong ever.

Crowley

Banned.

Fine. He's allowed. Begrudgingly.

He isn't treated badly but Yuu would rather he leave. But the onsen would be shut down he didn't agree to let it stay open.

He takes off the mask for once and scared Yuu.

"Who are you?!"

"What are you asking? It is me your dear headmage."

"You're lying! Where is the bird man?!"

Yeah, no object permanence here.

Crowley will get wasted off his ass and join in any chaos the others create. Children, the lot of them. He drinks just about anything. It's whatever suits his fancy that day.

He gets his hair done while he's there along with his nails. Yuu finds it weird that his hair creates a natural black oil like some species of bird and his nails are as hard as talons and just as sharp.

#onsen!yuu #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland x reader #twisted wonderland yuu #divus crewel #twst divus #mozus trein #twst trein #twst sam #vargas #twst vargas #coach vargas #twst dire crowley #twisted wonderland crowley #twst crowley

[thetriplets3]

can u do prompt 17(i think) from the needing comfort list — ‘you bought me chocolate/flowers’ — with matt plz !! its okay if not ! have a great dayy 🩵

haven't written in a while so hopefully this is good thank you for your request. send some more in

key to my heart

One thing I’ve always loved about Matt is how he will go lengths to make sure feel better and brighten up your darkest days.

Matt’s been by my side for a few years now, he’s the first person I want to tell anything to, a shoulder to cry on, and a comforting presence. When life gets hectic and things gets flipped over Matt is always the one to come and turn your world back around. I never know where I stand with Matt. He does things a boyfriend would do but we’ve never discussed our feeling with each other.

This week was exhausting to say the least. I’ve become the therapist amongst my friends, it’s a blessing and a curse to feel things so deeply. I give my undivided attention to anyone who needs an ear to listen to their problems and give my best advice but at the same time I absorb all their negative energy and I carry their problems. They pass the weight holding them down onto me, quickly slowing me down. That’s the downside to being the one who listens because no one thinks to listen to the listener. They don’t think how heavy it is for one person to hold all that.

I can’t take it anymore, I only have so much room to carry things and it’s filling up quickly. My space is full of others problems and there’s no room for my own thoughts or feeling. So that’s where I am now, curled up under the covers in the dark trying to feel something, anything but everyone’s problems. Turning my phone on do not disturb I see a few messages from Chris covering the ones from Matt.

chris 🍊

please answer us

helloooo??

i know you hate notifications so i know for a fact you’ve seen this

don’t ignore

at least message matt pls he’s worried

love you kid we’re here whatever it is

matt 🥤

y/n

what’s wrong why aren’t you answering any of us?

are you okay? i need to know you’re okay i’m worried

no one has heard or seen you in a few days

i know somethings up this isn’t like you

let me in let me help you

Flipping my phone face down so I don’t have to look at it, I let out a shaky breathe. The silence becomes too much all the stories and problems are all coming forth, shouting and talking over each other. Not knowing how to make it stop I let out a desperate sob wanting nothing more than for someone to listen to me like I do for them. Both mentally and physically exhausted I drifted off into a much needed nap.

My eyes squint open looking at my clock. Only a 40 minute nap. The dryness in my mouth makes me get up to go grab a drink from the kitchen, but not before wrapping a blanket around me.

Slowly and heavy lidded I trudge down the stairs, halting when my eyes meet the island. Flowers. No one’s ever given me flowers before. The thought of how they got in here escapes you, being drawn towards the yellow flowers, my favorite color. Attached to the bouquet is a little note in chicken scratch I could recognize anywhere.

My heart flutters as a pout replaces the empty look on my face. “My favorite” I gasp. A happy sigh leave my lips as I bring the bouquet to my nose to give them a sniff.

“I knew you’d love them” you voice full of love and softness.

“Matt! Holy shit you can’t do that to me” I pant with a hand over my chest.

“Sorry” you say sheepishly.

“You bought me flowers?” I ask softly.

“You told me tulips were your favorite and I thought yellow ones would make you even happier”

“That was 2 years ago I didn’t think you’d remember. I don’t think anyone would remember that” I scoff.

“When you care, you remember. If it’s important to you it’s worth remembering” You say. “You’re worth it”

Placing the flowers on the table I walk towards you. Sensing an impending hug you open your arms and pull me into your chest.

“I know you’re always there for everyone else to let their guard down but you need someone to be there for you. Stop putting up walls let me be that person. Let me in okay I love you and you don't have to feel alone” you say as your one hand rubs circles on my back and the other cradling my head to your chest, immediately bringing me comfort I didn't know I was missing.

“I know. I'll let you in might take a while. I love you Matty" I whisper into your neck.

"We'll work on it I'm here for you"

taglist: @antisocialties @iluvmatt @dwntwn-strnlo @fake-coolbeans @opheliaofficial07 @angelcake-222 @oneirophobic @strniolo @lollibumblebee @ssturniolo @20nugs

#matt sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #matt sturniolo x reader #readers pov

[greyias]

I really don’t want swtor to shut down it’s the only eu thing that’s active we have left

I knew these asks were going to start coming in.

So for those who haven't heard, it was reported, and then later confirmed by Keith Kanneg on the forums, that EA is "selling" SWTOR to another developer, Broadsword. For those who want to read the article discussing it, you can read here: https://www.ign.com/articles/star-wars-the-old-republic-development-third-party-bioware

TL;DR -- It's not shutting down. The servers are going to stay active for a while

There's a few points to note here:

If I understand things correctly, EA actually owns Broadsword. So EA is in fact not actually offloading a property, I think what's actually happening is BioWare Austin itself is being divvied out and would not be surprised to see if that branch is shut down

At least half of the SWTOR dev team is part of this move, so the key things to keep an eye on is which members of the dev team are moving. If the narrative staff is kept intact, then we have more story ahead of us beyond what's been written, and they've confirmed we're getting 7.3, 7.3.1, and 7.4. It's important to note that their production timeline is generally a year out from things being written, so story-wise, if they have narrative staff, we'll likely still have some story drops ahead of us

SWTOR is profitable (it hit over $1 billion in profit several years ago), and I will admit I don't have the best understanding of video game finances, but my impresion it was far into the black and maybe not an enromous cash cow, but a decent consistent revenue stream. EA is a publisher that is about profits, so as long as the game is profitable, even if there's not new story drops, the game will stay online

Disney has seemingly taken a recent interest in SWTOR after mostly ignoring it after its acquisition of Star Wars, even going so far as to finally acknowledge the general KOTOR/SWTOR era in their presentations last year at Celebration. Does this ultimately mean anything? I don't know, but SWTOR is one of the longest running current properties with a stable player base. They're just as interested in profit as EA. Probably another indicator that the game will keep running for a while.

Other properties that Broadsword operates, such as Dark Age of Camelot and Ultima Online, are old games. Ultima Online was released in 1997, and the servers are still active. So like, I think regardless of what happens in regards of the story, we're not losing the ability to log in and play the game

Long term subscriptions - I remember reading, and forgive me, because I've long forgotten the source, that a key indicator if the servers are going offline is to also keep an eye on the six-month subscription option. Basically, if suddenly the only option for subs goes down to one month, that's when to worry about being able to actually play the game.

This is probably not about SWTOR, but BioWare as a whole. It seems there's a leadership issue at the main Alberta office that's causing issues. This is likely an Anthem issue all over again, but Anthem this time happens to be the Mass Effect and Dragon Age properties. Unfortunately, BioWare Austin looks like it's going to suffer the consequences of that, even though they've been running a tight ship overall compared to the rest of the branches. I feel for them. This sucks.

Now I'm not an oracle, I have no idea if this is ultimately a good or bad thing for the game itself. There's a lot of evidence for both sides of the coin, so right now the best thing is to wait and see. We at least have the promise of the next two patches. Let's focus on enjoying that, and celebrating what we love about our silly space game.

If you love the game, keep playing it. Spend money on it, and keep it profitable and it will stay around. Be kind and supportive of the devs, who regardless of how this shakes out, are going through a major transition. But immediately decrying an active game's death and going into doom and gloom is not going to help things.

Will we get more story beyond 7.4? I do not know one way or the other. I hope we do, but it's hard to say for certain on that front. But I do believe we'll still have our toons and be able to replay all of the released content for quite a while to come. Again, for now I'm just going to enjoy my favorite game, and support it as long as I have it. Even if this inevitably means it's going to change.

#i will say #they made a significant investment in regards to the upcoming date night stuff #as its all fully voiced #which involves a LOT of voice actors #so i just don't know guys #i'm just going to focus on loving my game #in all its quirks and quibbles #but will probably be muting or unfollowing anyone being overtly negative about this news #as i just don't have it in me to see a constant stream of negativity about my happy place right now #you do you #we all cope in our own ways #i'm trying to remain cautiously hopeful #forgive me i got about four hours of sleep last night #because insomnia has to insomnia #so i hope this came across well

[frick6101719]

Hi! I hope you're doing goood)) Please do tell, are you going to continue writing the sequel to The Last Songbird? I'm so worried cos SaB now cancelled((

HI ANON

Sorry for taking so long to say so, but yes! I am hoping/planning to write a sequel to TLS. My idea right now is to cover some key moments from the actual duology and explore how they would change in this AU, but I haven't quite landed on how to do that yet. I have written part of one important moment though, and since I've made you wait so long I think I owe you a snippet.

~~~

He could see Inej’s little slippered foot dangling over the edge of the crate. She was still, lying on her belly. He could still hear the Blacktip dying at his feet, but it was Kaz who felt like he was choking on his own blood. Climb, you fucking idiot. He ordered his body like he would order any other Dreg, and because he was Dirtyhands, their lieutenant, the brain and the spine of their operation, his body obeyed. He had to climb from another side of the pyramid, wasting precious time. He was not as agile as she, and there were so many here on the docks, waiting for them, he couldn’t waste a second when she could be—

He turned the corner, saw her lying there frightfully still. He grabbed her ankle, and she stirred faintly at his touch. While a shudder of revulsion passed through him he didn’t let that stop him as he leaned over her body, taking her by her shoulder, his other hand on her hip. He hadn’t touched her in so long—she was so small. He tried to be gentle, but he was not a gentle man, and she groaned in pain as he rolled her over. 

The knife was free of the sheath hidden in her sleeve before she was even fully turned, and its wickedly sharp point settled beneath her breast with practised precision. Kaz almost dropped her. 

“May the Saints receive me,” she whispered. 

“No!” He grabbed her wrist, felt her pull against it, but his grip was iron. She couldn’t move, couldn’t even hold the knife, which fell from her grip with a clatter. 

He struggled to find his voice. “Not just yet, Inej,” he said. His grip didn’t loosen. 

There was no way to be gentle about it, but he slipped the knife back in its sheath and scooped her up, pushing the sound of her pained moans somewhere deep in his mind where he couldn’t touch it, where it wouldn’t drive him insane until he needed it to. I got Brekker’s Wraith. 

He jumped down, and though he expected it, the sharp explosion of pain in his leg was staggering.  For several moments his world flashed hot and white. He squeezed Inej closer to his chest—her body was limp, and though she didn't weigh much she felt oddly heavy. Perhaps he forgot gravity acted on her the same as everyone else, because he’d seen her move like she weighed nothing, and now she was here, almost dead in his arms—

Not dead,  he thought, gritting his teeth. He began to run, each step a fresh burst of agony through his bad leg, but he ignored it. His cane lay tucked in his arm, useless, digging into Inej’s back between her shoulder blades. His Wraith. She’s not dead. 

She groaned, head lolling with the rough, unevenness of his gait. “Did we win?”

He inhaled sharply. “I’m here, aren’t I?” He didn’t want her to ask about winning, or what happened, or how his plan went to hell and left her bleeding, clinging desperately to life. Not for the first time, a dark, gleeful voice—Jordie’s voice—reminded him. 

I’m here, he thought instead, but he wasn’t willing to look down at her.  

“I don’t want to die, Kaz.”

Her voice was small and quiet, and no knife could be more precise carving through his insides and piercing his heart. He swore he’d protect her. He was the worst sort of liar. “I’ll do my best to make other arrangements for you,” he said. He knew it would upset her, and he hated himself for it, but she needed a fire in her to pull through this, and anger was the kind he was most adept at stoking.

He waited for her retort, for an indignant sniff, a righteous proverb—anything—but she remained quiet. “Keep talking Wraith,” he demanded, his voice wavering. “Don’t slip away from me.” Not now. He always knew when she eventually left him it would be his fault, but if he got her killed…

Her head lolled against his chest, and she gave another soft groan. “But it’s… what I do best.” Her eyes were shut. 

He squeezed her tighter again, not caring if it made it harder for her to breathe. He hadn’t been this close to her since he became Dirtyhands, and even through the pain and the panic and the blinding rage, he felt the edges of nausea. He clutched her tighter anyway. She wasn’t going to die in his arms. She couldn’t. “Just… just make it to the schooner,” he said. His words sounded desperate even to his own ears. It had been a long time since he held her—it had been longer since he begged for anything. “Open your damn eyes, Inej.”

~~~

I just realised this is the second snippet I've posted; the first is here.

#RIP TO SHADOW AND BONE #we lost a real one #I'm still sad #but bless this fandom #you are so much fun #Kanej #Six of Crows #a fic... of mine???

[the-ravening]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you @zsparz and @six-demon-bag for tagging me! ❤️

1. How many works do you have on ao3? Only 12, because I am a baby writer.

2. What's your total ao3 word count? 86k

3. What fandoms do you write for? Winterbaron, or more accurately, Zemo/everyone

4. Top five fics by kudos: Let's do a top 3, since top 5 would just be like half my fics.

Something Sweet to Eat (142 kudos) Extremely underage Halloween fic, bunny boy Zemo shows up trick or treating at Bucky's house Adopt, Don’t Shop (123 kudos) Omegaverse, bratty teen Zemo is for sale at an Omega kennel and Alpha Bucky goes shopping Gift-Wrapped (113 kudos) This was the first fic I ever posted (just a few years ago) and I'm still pretty proud of it. Just a silly Winterbaron rimming PWP, but it's hot

5. Do you respond to comments? I try to, I always mean to, but I think I'm a bit behind right now. I know there are some amazing comments on Home to Me from last year that I still haven't replied to and I feel bad about it all the time.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Probably Under Lock and Key (what a mess we’ve made), the Heinrich/Helmut Zemo dadcest fic I wrote for @ex0rin where I followed her hurt/no comfort philosophy of leaving him on the floor crying.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I don't know if I really do happy endings? I have PWPs where the happy ending is they both come, if that counts. 😅 Let's say... Ink Kissed (with violent precision) where tattoo artist Bucky gives his client Zemo a dick tattoo, and Zemo ends up quite happy with the tattoo as well as the rest of the service.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've only gotten one or two of the world's mildest hate comments. I guess my ships are sufficiently niche that no one cares about them.

9. Do you write smut? Yeah! Do I write anything other than smut? No.

10. Craziest crossover: I've only written one crossover, A Suitable Course of Treatment, Bucky Barnes/Laszlo Kreizler from The Alienist, which isn't crazy at all because as we all know, Laszlo has Zemo's face. (If it counts, I once started a Dir en grey x Sailormoon fic where the band members magically turned into Sailor Scouts, but I did not ever get far on it.)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not to my knowledge.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Yes, the aforementioned Adopt, Don’t Shop was co-written with @violenciorp and @tales-from-a-maphia-don, because Vio lovingly bullied us into it, despite me and Mel ostensibly not being into Omegaverse.

14. All time favorite ship? I've jumped ship a lot over the years, but it's gotta be Winterbaron, since this is the ship that finally got me writing and posting and getting really involved in a fandom.

15. What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? The first serious attempt I made at writing in this fandom was this teen Zemo necrophilia thing, and I wrote the necro part but none of the plotty stuff leading up to it. I still dream of finishing it, in an abstract way where I have no motivation to ever work on it.

16. What are your writing strengths? I think I'm pretty good at rhythm and flow and making my prose sound musical? That's something I focus a lot on and I tend to read aloud while editing to make sure it sounds good to my ear.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Probably plot and dialogue, and figuring out how to include technical details of things I know nothing about. But most of all procrastination, my arch-nemesis.

18. Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I personally avoid it, because I find it annoying to have to look up the translations in the middle of reading. I prefer to just say they're speaking in whatever language but write the dialogue in English.

19. First fandom you wrote in? J-rock RPF in the early 2000s, but I mostly just did a bit of RP and never got far with any fics I started.

20. Favorite fic you've written? Sometimes it feels like every new thing I post is my new favourite, haha. But I thiiiink my fave has been Something Sweet to Eat since I wrote it (the Halloween fic mentioned earlier), because it's probably the most self-indulgent thing I've written to date. I am truly the main audience for that fic and I'm very happy with it.

No pressure tagging: @violenciorp, @tales-from-a-maphia-don, @thepiper0fhameln, @ex0rin, @unlikelymilliner, @evenmyhivemindisempty, and anyone else who sees this and wants to join in!

#this was fun but wow I ramble #tag game #writer asks #ravening writes

[shutupheathersorryheatherr]

“Glad you’re here”

Summery: Kevin needs some comfort one day and you reassure him. a long chat right next to you is just what he knows he needed. thats great, but somehow it leads to him in your bed and your mouth on his. you know... cause you know... you really wanna make sure he knows his worth and how much you love every part of him. oops I guess approximately a 40 min read

a/n: idk what this is man. Tumblr wouldn't let me post a longer than like two sentence post and so it's a little late. I had a dream about something like this happening like months back and now it's finally come to life! or.... not really to life but life enough lol I told one of my moots on here about the dream and she said "that's perfect fic inspo" so here we are. at this point I can't remember if the smut part was in my dream but oh well I aint complaining. I don't know if this is any good cause I haven't written smut in a minute but pleas enjoy and let me know if y'all have any hard thots or future fic suggestions. (it was so exiting when I got my first request you have no idea I felt like real writer who people actually enjoy content from and not much could top that feeling ya know) I probably won't get to them for a month lmao but still id love to hear them!

warnings/info: cursing, Kevin had a bad week, comfort, reader and Kevin’s type of relationship is never specified in this fic if that’s makes sense, kissing, smut, low key body worship, like a little bit toward Kevin from reader, oral sex (reader receiving), also Kevin fingers reader, reader is afab when it comes to smut but is gn otherwise, mentions of having to go get a condom but no sex is described, think that’s it! misspelled words and incoherentness im sure, ill fix them soon, Pls lemme know if there’s anything these

THIS IS SMUT SO MINORS DNI AND FOR THE LOVE OF GAWD HAVE AN AGE INDICATOR IN YOUR BLOG SAYING YOURE NOT A MINOR SO I DONT HAVE TO BLOCK YOU! ID HATE TO BLOCK SOMEONE WHO DOESNT NEED TO BE BLOCKED thx

~this is simply a piece of fiction. my imagination onto "paper." this is in no way meant to be taken as an actual and real representation of anyone.~

••••••••••••••••••••

a familiar knock on your door brings you out of the daze you once were in. For once you weren’t doing anything. Comfort flowing through your veins as you relaxed. You weren’t expecting anyone…. You glance at your phone to see Kevin’s profile picture pop up. A candid photo you took of him while he was laughing at something or the other on a Ferris wheel when you two were just friends. The message simply said “hey it’s me” weirdly dry and weirdly simple coming from him. but your heart still leaped for joy out of you chest when you read it. Somehow more peacefulness coming over you as you walked to let him in, though you were scared something was wrong.

you swing open the front door, still halfway looking at your phone. I mean, if you had a cute picture of him that was at your disposal at all times in your phone, you'd be looking at it still too. it was one of those pictures were only you could see. something for your eyes only... that sentiment seemed to be a running theme in your relationship. not that you minded, though. you welcomed it. relished in the feeling of being so damn close to him.

you don't even get to let out a word before his arms are around you, his head is in your stomach, and his heavy breath his flattening out your shirts wrinkles. he's on his knees as first but when he gets up you stumble backward further into your place, shutting the door with your foot. he steps back, half to regain his composer he lost the second he saw you worried about him, and half because he realized he was probably too forward. he kicks off his shoes and before you know it you can hear little quiet sniffs coming from the man.

"you good?" you ask, even though you knew that he wasn't.

he peels his face off your shirt as you tuck your phone into your back pocket so as to not have any distractions. you wanted, no needed to be fully there right now. completely zeroed in on him and whatever he needed. In a flash it was like a full 360 realization came onto Kevin. In a flash he's pulling away from you and trying to compose himself. "God, im sorry. I-I didn't mean for my visit to turn out like this." he just wanted to see your face, talk a little bit, not to break down the second he saw you. His eyes dart around as he plays with his own fingers.

You take his hand, guiding him to sit down where you previously were. and god does he really want to scoot himself as close as physically possible to you. but he doesn't want to come off too strong, or like he was needy or anything. but now he's sitting here in arms reach of you and he's nearly screaming inside for you to pull him closer. "Don't be sorry. I’m glad you’re here.” you tell him, softly but firmly. it was more than that thought, and he took the opportunity you'd given him to tell you why he was upset. "I dunno, it wasn't one big thing or anything. but sometimes... sometimes I feel like im too much, you know? or that im not doing enough all at once. But hat probably doesn't make any sense though. kinda stupid, right?" your eyebrows creased together like you were asking what the hell he meant.

Over the course of the better part of an hour he tried so so so damn hard to explain to you what he was feeling and why he thought his entire body felt like it was aching because of it. You listened for a while until you got up to bring the both of you a snack cause he looked a little hungry. he wanted to stay close to you, though, so he followed you to where you kept your snacks and back. and though he was siglent on your short walk, you could almost feel the heaviness that was within him. it seemed to seep through his pores and straight into the air. but you still listened to him, trying to put in what you thought when he needed it.

through broken sobs and quivering lips he had to bite to stop from betraying himself and what he was feeling, he stoped abruptly. "...Like right now." he said simply. "What do you mean?" You prompted. "Are you..." he needed to collect his thoughts and pick himself up, now. "Are you embarrassed of me?" You crained your neck forward, as if you somehow hadn't heard him properly and your ears had tricked you into thinking he had said what you thought he had. "um excuse me? yeah, im gonna need an explanation." you chuckled. and he couldn't help but smile along with your slight laughter. it was infectious. he didn't know why but it seemed like whatever you where feeling he started to as well.

"So far you've spent at least thirty minutes here with men trying to help me." you said. but you still weren't understanding. that was just something you'd do for him. as he'd readily do for you. it came as sedan nature to the both of you and you liked it that way. how you both were so close that either of you could just drop whatever you were doing and help the other. "Does that not seem bad to you?" you simply shook her head. "I had a dream that you were embarrassed of me and how...." he searched for the right words, "you know, needy I can get. And I know it was just s stupid dream, ok? But then I actually started thinking about it." scenes flashed through his mind, burried deep into his heart of all the times you've cared for him. whenever he's feeling insecure and he either came to you about it, or you noticed it, you helped him out of his rut. All the times he's felt sick you've rubbed his back and brought him a cold compress and Vix vapor rub. and sure, he's done these things for you as well... but right now it seemed like he was all the work and you just had to pick up his pieces.

he hated the feeling of causing you so much trouble. and he knew what you would say, too. that "oh no you're not. you need to stop thinking that way about yourself." and he knew it did. he really did know that. but what he also knew was who it seemed like he was acting. no, how he was acting. he wasn't coming to you for every single little thing but sometimes it felt too close to it for his comfort. and not only thing, but, though he knows how you've told him a million times that he's welcome and encouraged to talk things out with you or even just ask for some comfort, he's also well aware how much he's been doing it this past month.

How was it not driving you nuts already? it was sure making him pace around his living room thinking and hoping that you weren't mad at him for it. And he had tried to hold out, ok? he really did today. But then he started thinking about how you probably felt a little suffocated by his latest actions and how it portably looked to outsiders and it made him get all up in his head and that made him only want to come over more. eventually, though, he broke and now here he was feeling bad about even being here.

"you look guilty." you note. "that's cause I am." he admitted, "im sorry that its probably a little weird me coming over like this. or at least me calling you for like an hour because of these things." he swallows thickly, looking at his swinging feet, unable to stop their moving by the floor. you were about to say something but he grasped your hand, blinking a few times and you know you should just let him talk for now. "Is this not embarrassing to you? like, when you talk to people how the hell do you even mention me doing this? I wouldn't blame you if you don't.... you just, seem so happy even when im acting like an actual wreck and y-youre not tired of it? or ashamed? or--" you pull him into your chest, leaning back and bit and letting him fall into a half laying down position, wanting him to be more relaxed.

"you do this for me too, you know?"

"Yeah, but im not the now showing up and the others door like a mess right now. making you take time out of--"

"yeah, but..." you trail off for a moment as he lifts his head up to look you in the eyes. His dark soft hair is sticking up, almost comically, from you pulling at his. more massaging his scalp than anything though, but by the way you gently tugged at his strands he seemed to melt into you easier. "that's what the both of us are here for, no?" you feel him nod into your chest and your small laughter from it causes a vibration to go through your upper chest where he lays his head and into it. you take a deep breath, spurring him to do the same. and for some reason, it really calmed him. air filling his lungs along with you, it felt-- at least to him, that it connected the two of you. releasing, but really it felt like releasing all the negitivity and heaviness that weighed him down. stuck to him like a sickness, and felt like a glue on his lungs that made it hard to breath.

but now, with a clearer head, he listened to you. listened when you said there was no place you'd rather be than with him right now. listened when you told him that no, he's not embarrassing just because he has feelings and lets them out. and he even listened when you told him you're proud of him for still coming to you to talk it out. you wiped the tears from his cheeks with your thumbs and ran your hands through his hair so much it stuck up almost like from electricity. and among talking about other things, the day grew along side the both of you and your chatting. eventually his mind was eased and now taken off of what was bothering him.

===

He wondered how you could even do that, as he lay practically on top of you, wanting to fuse your skin together if he could just to get impossibly closer.

He leans in to whisper in your ear, “please. I-I I really need you closer” you look down at your bodies practically fused together, him basically on top of you, chest to chest and his warm nose, reddening from crying pressed into the crook of your neck. Puffs of air from his heavy breaths tickle your skin and you can’t help but smile as you pull him closer. “We’re already so close, Kev” but really, you knew what he meant. You felt it, too. His hardening dick pressing against your thigh. You could tell he’s trying to be inconspicuous about it, scooting away but you just pull him closer, fingers slicking around his back, thumb padding against his spine.

but you can feel him shiver against you. and not in the typical "I feel so good im practicluy purring" type of way. "You cold?" You ask. Though you know he wasn’t. The sound of him moving further on top of you come to your ears before his voice does. “You made me feel so good.” His face presses further into you neck, pressing a kiss into your rapid pulse. “I wanna make you feel good too… that ok?” You didn’t even need think about it before you nod.

a second later you're in your bed and he's laying on top of you just like before.

He keeps kissing at your neck. the pecks getting longer and more sloppy as the hand ticks on the clock, the only other soul in the room with you. he pulls you up with him so he can circle his hands around your back as yours travel under his shirt, riding it up and feeling his bare skin like it was second nature to you, but exploring like it was new to you all the while. a small smile graced his face and pulls his lips upwards ad he closes his eyes and just feels. feels your fingers on him and relishes it. his lips detach from your neck when he feels you on his lower abdomen. god he really looses his focus too quickly.

But how could he not with you, you and all your splendid glory right in front of him, feeling him up and now slipping your hands underneath the waistband of his pants, making him see stars when you start rubbing his hip bones. it made him get all tangled up in the moment it doesn't even register how you start laying him down. and at this point he doesn't really care as you capture his lips in a searing kiss that leaves the both of you feeling woozy. "open your eyes." you purswade gently. he does so, only for him to tug at the hem of your shirt. "Please," he sounds way too whiney and out of breath for the little that you have done, but he can't help it, getting a little ovewelmed by the thought and look of you, "I need more." you sit up on him, legs swung over either side of him and already dripping heat right above his.

You toss your shirt to the side and within a millisecond he's pulling you back down to him, wanting and needing to feel you on him. your chest presses against his and even though you're still wearing a bra he feels like he's in heaven. and "more" is what you start to give him; kissing down his body and telling him everything you love about him. starting with his shoulders, "you carry so much weight, mediforecly but still. Iove that bout you; how you're so willing to help shoulder a burden." you look up at him for a second, taking a break from just mumbling against his skin, "It also helps how they're so nice looking too. Gorgeous." you move to his chest, "I love you chest, know why?" he shakes his head, "its where one of the few biggest hearts I know is kept." you kiss right by where his heart is, hearing it beat rapidly under his burning hot skin. you go a bit further down his torso to his lungs, "these help you take deep breaths to calm down. im happy when you're calm so I love them." his eyes squint in a smile form your words

but suddenly he realizes as you start to kiss your way further down that-- “This is supposed to be about me making you feel good.” He pulls you up to his lips into a searing kiss that your body can't help but freeze in place from. his hips snap up into yours and you let out a surprised groan from the feeling. the pants you were wearing were thin, but still too much of a barrier from him. he stays underneath you, but now he's a bit more in control, wanting to make you feel above and beyond the love and want and all around good feeling you made him have all up until a moment ago. he sits up and his hands brush up and down your bare back, landing at your hips and keeping them there.

he just wants more. more more more until the both of you bursts. his mouth moves against yours in a way that made you think he was a dream. he sensed it too. and he only wanted to build on that feeling. he moves down to your collarbone and he has to tare himself away so as to not leave a hicky. he has to suppress a loud moan when you start moving your hips on him, grinding on his dick. he grips your hips tighter, thumbs pressing into your sides and the both of you parting lips just for a minute to look deep into each others eyes. he's knows that stare on you, though. a look of longing he wants noting more than to satisfy.

His hand hand travels down your torso to palm your throbbing core needing attention. the heel of his palm rubbing at your clit while his lingers work on your interance. even through the clothes you can't help but sigh in pleasure from his actions. Eventually you just can't take it anymore and you start humping his hand, wanting to realize but also not wanting to peel yourself away for more than a moment to take off your bottoms. under you, Kevin, hard as ever now, let out a whine into your mouth at your lust for him. it seemed like you no only had one thing on your mind and he loved it, chased after that need you felt and tried to expound on it.

you break away from him a moment later though cause, fuck this really isn't getting me anywhere. And help him tug his shirt up and over his head he complies it in his hand and puts it to the side to be long forgotten as you link your hands behind his neck and lean back with him as he chases your lips. he smiles into the kiss and it makes you do the same; a quite moment that wasn't ruined by him gently pulling at the waist band of your bottoms in question and you nodding against him. "oh yes please," you breath out, almost relieved, "I have to have you. thought you'd never ask." your tilt your head back, though you're not quite sure what for until he plants another open mouthed kiss on your sweet spot and you feel like blushing and moaning at the same time.

"Me too," he admits In your ear almost as a whisper, a secret only the two of you were able to share. "I wan-- need you closer." his fingers dance down, down, down, until he finds the wet patch you've made on your underwear. God he fucking needs it on his face, tasting you, smelling you, feeling you around him. better yet, why not get it straight from the source? damn it now he needs you on his face too. all the while he's rubbing you just how he knows youll shiver with pleasure and writhe on top of him, you're eyes are closed. and now thinking of it... and wanting you to know about it, makes him get a little bit bolder. "eyes on me, darling," he mimicked what you had said to him earlier. except this one was less commanding. he starts rubbing faster on your clit, making you pull him closer.

he can't take it anymore; with his free hand he begins to palm himself over his pants "I need you to see how you make me feel." you open your eyes to see the erotic sight right in front of you. his head thrown back and stroking himself over his sweats. you can tell he doesn't know what to make or do with himself. and to be completely honestly neither do you. his tongue is poking out to wet his lips as a high pitched keen meets your ears.

He feels like he really does need to-- need to show you how hard you make him. how else is he supposed to help you to understand all that he wants you to right now? You scoot his hand out of the way and replace it with your own "do I get you like this?" he presses his lips together and nods, barely able to form words with your hand moving on him now. "mmhm only you." the confession made you smile but you weren't able to continue the moment when he shifts so that you drop your hand and lay down further. "remember? you." he chuckles. he returns his hands to your heat, you tugging down your bottoms in the process.

Now that he sees you clad in just your underwear and bra, he can't help but crawl back up to eye level and give a quick peck to your lips. it was too fucking sweet to describe. with a cute smile pulling at his lips, he backs up and his fingers return to pleasure you. your underwear was sticking to your pussy uncomfortably now, wet patch now more visible. and as much as he wanted to tease you more, he also knew what you needed. he rolls down your underwear just as he would any other time. that was one of the things you loved about him, you thought as he dips his fingers into your wetness, testing the waters. you didn't know he was going to come over, you deffintly didn't know that it was going to turn into this. it wasnt like you wore anything special and dressed up, but he still loved it all. noticed was amiss, noting changed.

that was one of the reasons why you didn't mind having to spend so much time comforting him. cause he does the same for you an no matter if you dressed up or not he still gave you what you needed, not just sexually but in general. so of course you'd treat him the same way.

You make a sound of pleasure and now he's hooked, chasing more form you. dropping his entire body down further, he comes face to face with your glistening cunt. the fact that he made you like this-- god can barely think because of it. he takes an experimental lick up your folds and holds his tongue at your clit, putting hot, wet, and steady pressure on it. the muscle moves a bit more, kitten licking at your hole, sucking at your clit, and doing all the things that makes you wanna combust.

his tongue goes in and out, poking inside your gummy walls. and he feels like he's in heaven with you right now. He can barely handle it as he feels you clench around noting and you whisper out his name over and over again, pulling at his hair, tighter than before, bringing him impossibly closer. he grasps your hips to pull your up and even closer. the new angle hitting just right you can't help my moan. "fuck-- I-- I need--" you don't even know what you need at this point you just want more of this, more of him. He's eating you like a starved man, already drunk on how you taste on his tongue, wanting more.

While his tongue works on in between your folds his nose is getting wet bumping at your clit. His hands on your hips makes it perfect to grind on his face. but he doesn't mind, invites it, actually. He just holds out his tongue and lets you grind your way dangerously close to your high. He starts to move along with you, matching your movements as his dick twitches in his pants. the added pressure is just what you needed to go over the edge. you start to slow your movements on him, him picking up the pace so to help you ride it out. his hips rock into the mattress, wanting and needing to feel more. you're sounds proving to be too much without himself feeling something. You're moaning and groaning and whining along with him against you as you feel pure euphoria rush through you like a wave of perfection.

You try to even out your breath as he rubs at your hip bones, sitting up to keep himself from grinding on the bed, he can already tell he's not gonna last long enough to have you later too. "You--" you don't even know what to say as he brings you up with him, you know sitting on his thigh and you don't know if you can take it anymore. neither can he, seeing you cum-- it took everything in him not to follow along with you. he can't help but thrust his hardness up, barely feeling you in the end but he needs something, anything. just the thought of himself feeling your slick on his cock. that's all he needs, really; your wetness on him. he just needs to feel it. so he keeps going, angling his thrusts towards your pussy. he fucks himself into you, needing to feel you on him.

he locks his lips on yours as you rut yourself on his thigh. your fingers that were in his hair unties his pants and inches them down enough so that he get thrust up, getting his tip wet through one less layer. The feeling makes him press his lips harder on yours. he whines into your mouth and you don think you've ever heard a sound prettier. his hands are griping your hips, traveling to your back to bring you closer. you're grinding on his thigh as he tries to grind onto yours, the slick that travailed down your thigh making it easy to slide, rubbing up and down, his mind blank.

he's almost looses sight again with his lips moving in sync with yours. He breaks the kiss to watch his own hand go down to capture your release on them, fucking it back into you when you urge him to hurry up. he curls his fingers right where you want him to, pumping them in and out at the same pace he was thrusting into your thigh. you had just came so the feeling was ten times stronger than before. He senses what you're feeling and pecks your lips one more time before driving his fingers back into your heat. "give me one more? please I know you can." he nearly pleads with you.

You hump his palm, chasing your own high. a slow and intimate grind but enough to get you what you want and need. he feels woozy because of the feeling of your cream lathering up his fingers and forming a ring around the base, now dripping onto his palm as he watches his fingers roll in and out. a moment later and you're releasing all over his hand, his whining while he humps your leg taking it to a whole new level as you moan out in pleasure. and now he's rubbing the slick you've given him back into your pussy

your lips are back on his in an instant, unable to stay away for long after the leg shaking orgasm he gave you. he looks down at his boner. not realizing he had cum along with your with his release making a wet patch all on the front of his boxers. "you're still hard?" you chuckle. "For you? always." he smiles, more of a smirk than anything, back at you. breathing heavy and labored and eyes squinted.

"Do you have a condom?" he asks, half actually asking and half wondering aloud if you wanted to go any further, "I don't think I can keep on seeing you look so perfect without doing anything about it any longer." he wonders if he's even making sense. but when you peck his lips and reach over to your nightstand. he freezes, but he's back to life in a second when you turn to him with one.

“aren’t you glad you’re here?” You laugh, “you get to share you feelings and we get to have each other.”

He’s sure the way you said it must be a joke I’m some way but yeah, he's really glad he came over.

~end~

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[coffeebeans18]

You're So Small

Sam Winchester Smut

I've never written smut before, so try not to judge too hard. Ok? Ok.

Pairings: Sam Winchester x Y/n, Dom!Sam x Sub!Y/n

Warnings: Swearing, Sex, Sam Winchester's gaint...you know.

Um...it's smut. And Supernatural. I think that's all the warning you really need. So read at your own risk.

Not warnings, just things involved:

Size kink. Don't know if that bothers anyone, but if it does, don't read this.

Daddy kink. Because I have daddy issues and if you haven't notices, Sam is daddy.

Praise kink. Don't even ask.

I'm in the bunker's library, trying to figure out a way to get that stupid book down. Some asshole keeps putting it on a high shelf, knowing that I can't reach it. I hate asking people to reach things for me, but I think I might have to, this time. Even standing on something, I can't reach the book. This is so stupid. I just wanna read my favorite book, but some asshole just had to put it on that shelf.

"Need help?"

A turn around and see Sam standing behind me, looking almost amused by my situation. He's got that stupid smirk on his face, as if this is funny. I turn back to face the bookshelf, annoyed with the fact that he's amused by this.

"I just wanted to read a book, but some asshole keeps putting it up there."

All of a sudden, I feel him press against me as he reaches for the book. I'm trying my best to act like this isn't a total turn on for me. The fact that he towers over me is a huge turn on and I'm pretty sure there's a wet spot in my underwear now. He's huge and I really just want him to man handle me. Like, I want this man to hardcore- Wait a damn minute.

"How'd you know what book I wanted?"

"Because I'm the asshole that put it up there."

Why the hell would he do that? He knows that I hate having to get help to reach things. So why would he put my book up there?

"Why? You know I hate asking for help."

"But it's cute."

What's cute about constantly asking him and Dean to get things off high shelves for me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. It's frustrating and stupid. But he obviously doesn't feel the same way. While I find it annoying, he finds it...cute?

"What's cute about having to ask you to reach things?"

"You're so small. It's cute."

Is he flirting with me? Sam Winchester? Seriously? I mean, ever since I met him, I hoped that it would happen one day. But now that it's actually happening, I'm not sure what to do.

"You think that me being small is cute? Seriously?"

"Yeah. You're just so, tiny. It's adorable."

I can't tell if he's flirting or teasing.

"Right. Well, I'd like my book."

He looks me in the eyes and holds my book above my head, just out of my reach.

"Come on. Don't be a dick."

"What do you say?"

"What?"

"When you want something from someone, what do you say?"

"Sam, give me my book before I kick you in the dick."

"Not even close."

"Please?"

"Of course. But only because you said please."

He hands me the book and smirks at me as I sit down at one of the tables in the library. He walks away after a few seconds of staring at me. That was weird. I'd expect something like that from Dean. But Sam? I wouldn't expect him to randomly tease me or flirt with me like that.

"Y/n." A voice calls to me from the doorway.

I turn and see Dean entering the room. He's got the Impala's keys in his hand, so I'm assuming he's leaving. Probably to go on a run. We're running low on a lot of stuff. I was starting to think I'd have to make a run, myself. Since apparently two grown men can't keep the kitchen stocked.

"Yeah?"

"I'm going on a run. You need anything?"

"No, but can I ask you something before you go?"

"Sure. What's up, short stack?"

"I already told you to stop calling me that."

"Right. What's your question, shorty?"

I roll my eyes, but decide to just let it go, being that Dean could tease me all day long and not get tired of it.

"Sam's acting weird and I was wondering if you knew anything about it. Like why."

"Weird how?"

"Like, I think he was flirting with me. He never does that."

"You still don't know? God Y/n, isn't it obvious?"

"What?"

"Sam's crushing on you. He has been for a while now. I'm surprised it's taking you so long to realize."

So it's true? Sam likes me? I've had my suspicions for a while now, but I didn't think it was true. Especially because of our size difference. He's 6'5 and I'm 4'11. I didn't think he'd wanna be anything more than friends with someone that much smaller than him. Big height differences are a turn on for me, but I wasn't sure if Sam felt the same.

"You're joking, right?"

"You can't tell me you haven't seen the way he looks at you."

He's right. I've seen the way Sam looks at me. Looking back, it's not the way that someone looks at a friend. It's more of a look that you'd give someone you wanna fuck senseless.

"You're serious? You're not messing with me or something?"

"Now why would I do that?"

"Because you're a bit of an asshole sometimes."

"Am not."

"Yes, you are."

"Look, just trust me on this. Sam likes you and he was trying to make a move."

"By teasing me about being short? That seems like more of something you'd do. Did you put him up to it?"

He doesn't say anything and starts heading for the door. I think that's my answer. He definitely put Sam up to it.

"You sort out your feelings on that. I'll be back later."

He leaves and I start thinking, well fantasizing, about Sam. I do that a lot. Mostly when he's not around. I spend a lot of time fantasizing about the things he could do to me. About the things I want him to do to me. Most people would see someone twice their size and sex would be the last thing on their mind. But me? I just want this man to manhandle me until I'm begging him to stop. These are the things I fantasize about when I'm alone and I know for sure that no one's gonna walk in on me. Now that I know my fantasies could come true one day, I only want Sam more. I want him more than I've ever wanted anyone.

"You day dreaming about me again?"

I jump in surprise as Sam walks up behind me.

"Sam, um, I was just, um-"

"Admit it. You want me."

How in the fuck does he know? There's no way in hell he knows. He's gotta be fucking with me. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. He's just fucking around.

"I want an answer, sweetheart."

"Um...I was just reading my book."

"Then why's it still closed?"

Dammit. Busted. I got caught day dreaming about his dick inside me, sucking him off, letting him fuck me while we pull on each other's hair. But he doesn't know exactly what I was fantasizing about. So I think I'm good.

"Thinking about the things I could to do you?" He asks in a husky voice.

Damn that's hot.

BUT HOW THE FUCK IS HE DOING THAT?! IT'S LIKE HE'S READING MY MIND!

"Yes."

I blurted it out like I've been wanting to say it since I first laid eyes on him. I have.

"I knew it. You have all kinds of dirty thoughts, don't you, Y/n? You have all kinds of thoughts about letting me fuck you senseless. Don't you?"

If he only knew the thoughts going through my mind right now. He'd probably call a priest.

"Um, well, I don't-"

"Don't lie to me."

His dominant voice is so...hot.

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

He's so close to me now that there's no space between us. I can see his bulge and I'm fighting every urge to suck him off. He's so dominant and so big and so...I want him to fuck me until I can't walk.

"Yes, daddy."

"Tell me what you want."

"Um, I think I'm gonna finish my book in my room. It's kinda crowded in here, don't you think?" I ask as I nervously stand up from my chair.

Now he's towering over me and all I can do is look up at him, hoping that he slams me on this table and fucks me like I've never been fucked before.

"Y-You're really big."

"I've got something big I wanna show you, but only if that's what you want."

Even while being dominant, he's so gentle and sweet.

"Tell daddy what you want."

"I want you to fuck me, daddy."

"As you wish, princess."

The next thing I know, I'm being slammed on the table. Yes, the same table that I was reading on. But this is way more interesting than my book. Sam's pressing small kisses on neck and making his way down. When he gets to the collar of my shirt, he pulls on it slightly.

"Off."

"Yes, daddy."

I follow his instruction and take my shirt off, revealing my lace front bra.

"Good girl."

Well that definitely did something to me. It soaked my underwear. That's what it did. He reaches behind me and unclasps my bra. I slip it off and Sam latches his lips on to one of my nipples.

"Don't you think we should take this somewhere more private?" I ask, afraid that Dean could walk in on us.

"No. I want you right here, on this table."

And I want him to fuck me right here, on this table. He continues nipping at my nipple, then gives the other one some attention. He starts kissing my breasts and makes his way down to my pants. He looks up at me for consent and I nod. He takes my pants off and starts slipping my underwear off.

"You're sure you wanna do this?"

"Positive. I've wanted this for a while."

"Let me know if I'm going too fast and I'll stop."

I nod and he takes my underwear off. He slips two fingers into my pussy and smirks at me. That smirk does things to me. It makes me wanna cum on his fingers.

"You're already wet for me, princess."

I let out a small moan and he starts pushing his fingers in and out, curling them in all the right ways, hitting all the right places. This is nice, but I'd rather it be his dick. He's watching my facial expressions change and listening to me moan in pleasure.

"I want you to come on my fingers, princess. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, daddy. I can do that for you."

His pace gets faster and I start to reach my high.

"You're doing good, sweetheart. Cum for daddy."

I cum on his fingers and let out a really high pitched moan, which I think pleased him.

"Good girl." He says as he puts both of his fingers in his mouth, tasting me.

Is he trying to make me explode?

"Think you can take something else? Something a little bigger?"

Oh God yes. I nod, anxiously waiting for him to slip his dick into me.

"Words, princess."

"Please."

"Please what?"

"Sam, just fuck me already!"

It came out as a really loud moan and I think it sounded desperate. But it got the point across. He nods and takes his fingers out of me. I watch as he starts unbuttoning his jeans. He slips them off, revealing his huge bulge, and then takes off his boxers, letting his dick spring free.

"Woah."

I didn't mean to say that out loud, but his size is...impressive, to say the least. I kinda saw that coming, being that he's a literal giant. But I never thought I'd actually get to see it. It's just like what I pictured in my fantasies about him.

"Think you can take me?"

I think he could split me in half with it, if he really wanted to. And I want that thing inside me.

"Yeah, I can take it."

He aligns his tip with my entrance and slowly pushes himself into me. He starts teasing me, only using his tip, causing me let out a desperate moans of impatience. Somehow, him teasing me is extremely hot. It's probably because I know what he's doing. He's letting me know that he's the one in control. I like the idea of Sam having full control over me. I want him to use me for his own sexual pleasure.

"Daddy-"

"Patience, princess."

He slowly pushes himself deeper into me, then leads my hand to what I can't take.

"You're gonna help me, ok?"

"Ok, daddy."

He starts slowly thrusting into me, trying not to hurt me. But he's not hurting me. If anything, I want him to go faster. Harder.

"Faster."

He slowly gets on top of me and starts going faster. This is exactly what I wanted. This is a feeling that I've wanted Sam to give me for a really, really long time. He's on top of me, thrusting into me and it feels so...awesome.

"I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"No, no, please don't stop. I'm ok."

He nods and leans down to kiss me. I grab on to his hair while our tongues fight for dominance. His won, being that his is definitely stronger than mine.

"You like that, don't you, princess?"

"Yes, daddy."

I'm moaning at volumes that I didn't think I could go.

"You're doing great, princess. You're doing so good."

I'm pulling on Sam's hair and he's pulling on mine. I can feel myself about to cum and I think he's about to do the same.

"Daddy." I try calling to him, but it comes out as a moan.

"Fuck, Y/n, you're so damn good."

The praises only make my urge to cum worse. I'm about to say something when Sam stops me.

"Cum for me, princess. Cum for daddy."

And with that, I'm cuming on his dick. And the floor... Sam's helping me ride out my high and praising me, telling me how good I'm doing.

"Sammy, you'll never- HOLY SHIT! SAM!"

We both jump, realizing that Dean saw...everything. Sam's still inside of me and I'm pretty sure neither of us know what to do. Shit. The last thing I ever wanted for was for my best friend to walk in on me getting fucked...by his brother.

"ON THE TABLE, DUDE?! SERIOUSLY?!"

"We'll clean it up." Sam says, trying his best to keep his cool and not freak out.

"You two should be ashamed of yourselves. If you're gonna have sex, do it in a bedroom, like normal people. NOT WHERE WE SIT AND EAT!"

"Right, Dean. Um, could you maybe, get out?" I say, only really focused on Sam's dick, motionless inside me.

"Go to a bedroom. Please."

He quickly leaves the room and Sam slips out of me, making me whine a little.

"It's alright, princess. It's only until we get to the bedroom."

We both smile and he picks me up and starts carrying me to his room, leaving our clothes in a pile on the ground, in the library. Once in Sam's bedroom, he closed the door and made sure it was locked. Then he put me down on his bed and climbed on top of me. We got right back to work and by the end of the night, we were cuddled up together, in Sam's bed. He's holding me in his huge arms and I'm just laying here, taking in the moment.

"You're so small." He says before planting a kiss to my head.

"And you're so big."

He really did fuck me senseless. I won't be able to walk tomorrow, but it was totally worth it. I'd let Sam fuck me like that any time.

"Are you alright? I didn't go too hard, did I?"

"No, you didn't. I'm ok."

"We should do that again sometime."

"You don't mean that."

"Why wouldn't I mean that?"

"Because you don't like me like that."

"Y/n, I don't fuck people that I don't like like that."

"So you don't think it's weird? Our size difference?"

"No. I think it's cute. And I'd love to show you just how cute I think it is. After you get some sleep."

#supernatural #sam winchester #sam x reader #sam x y/n #sam x you #sam smut #spn sam #sam winchester smut #size k!nk #size difference

[dutifullylazybread]

I am so in love with your story Deeply and Immovably So. I am heavily invested, I am a bit embarrassed to say that right as I found your story I was writing my own fic falling into the same theme of Tav and Rolan living in the tower together. I am currently rewriting my story to make sure I keep our stories different.

I guess I wanted to ask you a question, how did you mange to write a story all in one go? I tend to write in fragments and post my chapters one at a time. I guess If you could give me some advice on writing series and how you approach it?

Your amazing and can't wait for the chapter update on Friday!

I'm so glad you like the story!! :D. I'm honestly not worried about there being similarities between our fics. One key point for Rolan's character is establishing a home for his family after what happens in Elturel. On top of that, Tav (even a Balduran Tav) doesn't actually have a home that we can ever visit, so gravitating towards staying in the tower makes a lot of sense! So if that is a big part of your story and it would be strongly affected by you changing that part of it, don't feel like you must make those revisions. I'd rather you be happy with where you story is than worry about similarities like that. Regardless, I'm really excited to read your fic! If you'd like, please drop me a link when you begin posting! :)

As far as how I wrote the fic all out? I won't lie, I haven't really ever thought about my process, so when you asked, I sorta resembled Patrick (more below the image, I promise!):

That being said though, I can definitely share how I wrote the fic and how I am working with the story now, but my big rule with writing is that writers should do what works best for them--what works for me might not necessarily work for someone else. So if what works best for you is posting as you finish chapters, then absolutely do that. There are some extremely talented writers in the Rolan x Tav corner that do the same or something similar. If you haven't read @underdark-dreams's A Strand to Climb, @lemonsrosesandlavender's Sharp Teeth, or @graysparrowao3's What If Rolan Was A Companion? I highly recommend them (and not just these fics--the rest of their repertoires are delicious too!).

This is my tl;dr for my explanation below--I can be super long-winded (I'm sorry about that!!). Like I said, this is what works for me, but if you don't think these things jive with you, then do what you feel is best for you and your story. :)

Write the story out first. Don't edit until you have finished the fic.

If you run into a writing wall, work on a different scene and come back later.

While it's fun to add in details, a lot of that can be supplied during your editing/revisions stages. Worrying too much about this can bog you down when you're in the middle of writing.

Don't immediately jump into editing your story after finishing a chapter. Take anywhere from a few days to a week to let the draft sit before you work on it again.

Avoid burnout - take care of yourself and take brain breaks.

Here are the longer explanations:

Write the story out first. Don't edit until you have finished writing the fic.

I started writing the Rolan x Tav story as my NaNoWriMo project back in November and I kept working on it through December. For those who may not be familiar, NaNoWriMo is short for National Novel Writing Month, and the goal is to write 50,000 words in a month. These do not have to be good words, they just have to be words on a page. So already out of the gate, I knew that, if I wrote this fic, it might not be well-written at first, but it would be a story. I had to give myself permission to write a bad draft, basically, and that is sometimes the hardest thing in the world (I am still irked by it). If you're anything like me, the thought of not having perfection on the page during a first writing pass feels awful. BUT I do sincerely believe it is why I wrote as much as I did in two months. Because I just focused on writing and not editing. And, if I could tell I was getting close to hitting a wall, I would make a note in my manuscript to come back, and then I'd keep writing the chapter. My notes are parentheses that basically say (Add more detail here), (make scene more sexy), (Review dialogue exchange). It's really weird to write down, but when I'm writing and struggling, it honestly feels like my brain is coming up against an actual wall. Basically, I'm giving myself a headache. BUT this is my warning sign to come back later, because I'm getting too lost in the weeds and I won't be happy with the end result of whatever I force out.

2. If you run into a writing wall, work on a different scene and come back later.

The rationale for coming back and working through the wall later comes from a combination of reasons: 1) From past experience, forcing myself through a block can work, but it is the most agonizing experience ever. And it is exhausting. Writing can be exhausting, that is okay. BUT, what if I force myself through the block and then I'm unhappy with the result? For me personally, pushing against a block/wall can feed into burnout. So 2) it's better to take a break and work on a part of the story that I am excited to pursue and then revisit the wall later, because 3) if you let yourself take a brain break, you're going to come back and find that the wall isn't really a wall anymore. If anything, it's a really fun idea. You just needed to come back when the lighting was different.

3. While it's fun to add in details, a lot of that can be supplied during your editing/revisions stages. Worrying too much about this can bog you down when you're in the middle of writing.

I find that, while I am in the drafting stages, I often write at a pelt. I do my best to write the first draft well, but I write so quickly that I might not pause to ask, "So what does the setting look like exactly? What color is the sky? How does the Chionthar look at this moment? What does it smell like?" Some of those details might make it in while I'm drafting, but I think that I focus in on those during editing/revision, because that is when I let myself slow down and focus on the details.

4. Don't immediately jump into editing your story after finishing a chapter. Take anywhere from a few days to a week to let the draft sit before you work on it again.

Due to how I wrote this fic, I didn't actually revisit a lot of these chapters until about a month or two later. And that has led to a combination of "Hey, this isn't too bad," to "What were you thinking??" BUT, I do sit quite firmly in the camp that taking a few days to just breathe and not immediately jumping into editing helped give me a fresh perspective. When we spend so much time working on our stories, it goes without saying that we are very close to what we are working on, and sometimes that can work against us. SO, putting some distance between yourself and the chapter in question can help you identify what needs to be cleaned up/revised when you return to it.

5. Avoid burnout - take care of yourself and take brain breaks.

In my experience, one thing that stopped me from working on long fics was burnout. For previous fanfic projects I tried to work on, all of my free time would be poured into writing, and not a lot of it would be used to relax. I would work on these stories nonstop. I would argue that this is probably why several long-form fanfictions don't get finished by several writers (and that's not even considering how school, work, and family obligations might also take a toll on your energy). The last thing you want is to feel apathetic or frustrated over the thought of working on your story, so taking the time to relax and take care of yourself. While I think having a writing habit is extremely helpful, I also think taking an evening to just relax once a week is just as nice. Typically, I start writing around 7 pm every night, and I'll wrap up around 10:30 pm - 11:00 pm. BUT, I don't do any intense work on Mondays (since that is D&D night in my house).

I hope that this helps! But again, do what you think is best for you. I'm super excited to read your fic!!! :D

#darcy writes #darcy rambles #darcy replies #writing #creative writer #creative writing #fanfiction writer #fanfic writing #fanfiction

[rose-riot-johnson]

Good news my Tumblr Peeps😀👍Dabi will be in another fanfic😃👍I have been thinking about this not only because of my other fanfics with atleast a couple other League of Villains members and not only from a Dabi fanfic, its also about the post I rebloged pertaining eye colors mainly blue eyes, which was the very post that I rebloged that has inspired me to work on a Hitoshi Shinso fanfic, that also has me thinking...🤔 Let's book Dabi in this Fanfic I will be writing😁👍

What Is It Like To have a Relationship With Dabi?(Dabi (My Hero Academia) (aka, Touya Todoroki) x Any Gender Reader)

Genres: Head Cannon(?), Comfort, and Fluff (Warning ⚠️: Mentions of Murder (kind of), due to burning people to ashes, mentions of revealing clothing)

*Dabi is the type of guy who will protect you, infact he tends to be overprotective or a little bit possessive with you. He just wants to makesure you're safe. It's not just about anyone else stealing you away, however he plans to keep himself sure that no one will harm you in anyway, at all.

*If Dabi was to hear anyone complain (especially when he over hears them gossip) about your relationship with him and they think and/or feel both you and Dabi should break-up, especially when it pertains to eye colors and on how certain eye colors should be illegal, regardless if if his eye color or your eye color(s), he will confront them and he doesn't care, if it causes an argument or any conflict between him and those who disapprove of your relationship with him. The worst case scenario, he would pretty much, burn those people to ashes.

*Dabi is perfectly fine with wearing comfy clothes and you dressing modestly, however he loves it when you wear anything revealing, as long as you're not wearing any revealing clothing in public, because he will definitely be more possessive with you, than usual. So he would rather know that he's the only one who's seeing you wear revealing clothing. He will definitely feel super secured that way.

*Believe it or not, when things are bothering you and your anxiety and/or depression tries to take over you, he will be atleast a little tough on you. The reason why he does get atleast a little tough on you, is because it's his way of comforting you to show you that he cares deeply about you. He just doesn't want to see you upset or anything like that and he will do anything he can think of to ensure your well-being is tooken cared of.

*While Dabi's not into buying things much, however he does find other ways to pamper you, such as back (and neck) massages, cooking for you (even tough he's not obsessed with cooking, he will cook for you), etc... And he can be a cuddler, depending on the person, so he definitely will be more than happy to cuddle with you. Also Dabi's embarrassed to say this to anyone, however he's a low-key teddy bear.

*When it comes to marriage, Dabi isn't in a hurry to get married, however at the same time, he is also good with whenever you decide to have wedding with him at the same time, as long as, it's not too soon for him. All he asks of you is to not to have too people in the wedding. He might be a certain type of introvert, so if that's the case, this could be why he asked you not to have too many people in the wedding you plan on having with him.

The End

I hope you enjoyed this fanfic of Dabi. I really feel he deserves for me to write about him for the 2nd time ever. Well the first fanfic I did write about him in the past is longer than this head cannon(?) in this post, however I figured since some people haven't seen any fanfics, since I have written about Dabi atleast a couple years ago, I decided to give writing about Dabi another go😁👍And those who haven't seen the first fanfic I have written about Dabi, then I hope this fanfic of Dabi should do for now😀👍 Anyways my Tumblr Peeps... I also hope you have a good day and/or night from reading this Dabi fanfic 😁👍

#comfort #dabi fanfic #touya x reader #touya x y/n #touya x you #dabi x reader #dabi fluff #dabi imagine #mha fanfiction #bnha fanfiction #my hero academia fanfiction #boko no hero academia fanfiction #my hero academia #boko no hero academia

[theendwhereibegin]

Here goes nothing. Been a bit rusty as I haven't written in a while now, let alone, any fanfiction. I guess it's been a while since I have last felt this connection to an actor.

Please bare with me. This is my first story in the realm of Pedro Pascal fan fiction, so please be kind to me, and tell me if it really sucks.

So here it is, a bit of fluff with Pedro Pascal. * i cringed even typing that*

Enjoy!

Universally meant, Earthly bound

If you were to think that there is a force in the Universe that dictates how a select few, the chosen ones, the lucky ones, met, would you believe it?

story line

inner monologue

I was rushing through the city, once again. Why? Mainly because my only workout consists of hitting the snooze button a little too much in the mornings.

Running towards work, I realized that I had gone out of the house wearing my slippers. I didn't realize that on my own though, a 6 year old boy loudly told his mom while we were waiting to cross the street.

“Look mommy, she has Baby Yoda slippers on her feet. That is so cool. I want to be like her when I grow up”

Upon hearing that I turned my attention towards the pair, as his mom shot me a sympathetic look, a look that pretty much made me understand that she has most probably done it herself one too many times. The child was beaming towards me with a cute boyish smile and all my embarrassment melted away.

Yes, you read that right. I was now making my way to work while wearing Baby Yoda slippers, too sleepy to care about the looks I was getting from the random people passing me.

Let`s pause the story here for a bit. Now that we set the scene, I might as well tell you a bit about myself. I am in my early 30s, and some would argue I am at that age when I kind of need to be put together and not leave my house wearing slippers instead of proper shoes. I would argue that age is just a silly number, and it doesn`t dictate how you are supposed to live your life. I enjoy pretty much anything Netflix has to offer, long awkward walks in the park as I don`t really do socializing, and charity shops where I always seem to find a little treasure in the form of old and rare books. My name isn`t important at this point in time, but my job, well my job is the key element for this story.

...right I forgot to tell you the plot. Let`s just say that this is the story of how I managed to meet one of the biggest stars on this planet, probably Galaxy, while wearing house slippers, a coffee soaked white t-shirt and sporting a very Harry Potter like scratch on my right cheek. Now, shall we get back to our story? Where was I? Right! Going to work.

Going through the busy streets I stopped at a Starbucks to grab myself a coffee and something to eat before, what was supposed to be, a very long day at work. That`s where I soaked my t-shirt and got a pretty nasty cut on my face. How, you may ask yourself? That`s easy when your middle name is Clumsy.

After I got my coffee and sandwich, I turned around to be met by a silhouette as hard as a wall, which caused me to lose my balance and trip over a small dog, with the hot dark liquid flying in the air and landing on my t-shirt. While all that was happening, like it wasn`t enough, I fell face first in a wooden like fork, which managed to cause quite a cut. This sounds crazy, I know, but if something goes wrong for me, it`s going to be all at once.

“Are you okay?” asked the silhouette.

While trying to collect myself from the ground while the whole shop was looking at me I mumbled an embarrassed “Sure” and ran as fast as I could towards the exit. At least my slippers made it out alive from the whole debacle.

Walking into work I put my bag on my desk and sulked in my seat. Today couldn`t of started worse, and I had to face the music at work as well as my boss has told me weeks ago that I have an important photo shoot today and that I should be prepared and full of energy.

Have you guessed my job yet? I bet you did...

While waiting for the main character of the photo shoot to appear, I tried to finish some of the projects I started already and never gotten around to finishing.

“Are you ready for today?” asked my coworker, Alexis.

Alexis was that giddy girl that every office has. Keen on being liked by everyone and befriend everyone, she managed to sneak herself under my skin, and I took her under my wing. Being young, I never had the support she has. I was always thrown into deep waters without much to go on, and being a mentor for Alexis meant the world to me.

“Of course I am ready A. I am also nervous as I never had to deal with something like this before. I usually know all of the models, and now Graham made it clear that it`s a new person and that it`s important for the photo shoot to go great. You know I don`t know how to socialize.” I said while I put my head in my hands, shrugging slightly.

I continued, “On top of that I am wearing Baby Yoda slippers, my shirt is soaked and stained and I have this on my cheek”, while pointing at myself.

“How did you even manage? Wait, I retract my question. It`s you. Of course, something like this would happen. Here, let me help you clean your face a bit, at least” she said while taking my hand and guiding me to the bathroom. Wrong move on her part as at the same time my boss screamed my name while trying to get my attention towards our client for today.

Turning my head I could have sworn I saw Pedro Pascal looking at me wide eyed. I shook it off and looked again. That is definitely Pedro Pascal and I am definitely looking like a downright mess right now.

“One moment” I screamed back while rushing Alexis towards the bathroom.

The moment the door closed, I started hyperventilating and pacing at an alarming rate, trying to swallow the node I felt building up in my throat.

“This cannot be happening to me. This is too much. How am I supposed to go out there and shake his hand while looking like this? He`s seen me in this state. That`s it. I am cancelling today. I am going to call from here and tell Graham that I am suddenly sick and I can not go through and that we need to reschedule. What am I even saying? You don`t reschedule Pedro Pascal. He reschedules you, not the other way around.”

“You really need to breathe. In and out. You can`t call in sick. You are already at work, smarty pants. Plus, isn`t this the guy you`ve been gushing on since you`ve seen `The Last of Us`?” Alexis pointed out while trying to clean my cheek and get me to calm down. I am amazed at the fact that she stopped me from pacing further.

“You`ll go out there with a smile on your face. You will do your job and he will love being in your company because you are an amazing woman and photographer. You hear me?” she started saying louder than before.

“I hear you” I said while looking in the mirror.

Newsflash. I didn`t hear her. I heard words, but to be honest, I zone out when people try to pep talk me. She is a lovely friend, but at the same time, I know I won`t be able to survive today. I can try, though. Should I even worry? It`s not like he`s going to care how I present myself. He just needs photos, and that`s that.

“I am pretty sure I lost you there for a bit, so please say it to me : I hear you, and I will slay the hell out of this photo shoot because I can.” she read me like an open book.

“I hear you, and I will slay the hell out of this photo shoot because I can. All better now?” I asked while making my way out of the bathroom. Yet another mistake as Pedro was exiting the men’s bathroom and heard everything I just said.

“Are you for real?” I said in an annoyed tone while Alexis was hot on my heels giggling like a high-school girl. Pedro was visibly amused at what was unfolding in front of him.

“I am for real. Last time, I checked anyway. I am Pedro. Nice to meet you” he said while smiling.

“This keeps getting more embarrassing. I am your photographer for the day. My name is Olivia.” I said while extending my hand to him. “Sorry for my apparel for the day, but I`ve had a rough start. I swear I am better at my job than I am at, well, living. Should we get started?” I asked quickly not to leave him too much time to respond anything else but yes.

“Yes. After you”

This was a weird setting. Me and him walking the long hallway to the photo studio. It felt like it took even longer than it normally does. I was trying to distract myself until he opened his mouth again.

“Nice slippers. Good to see they escaped unharmed from your Starbucks episode” he said while smirking. I could feel the smirk in his voice as he talked. Wait, how did he know about Starbucks? I mean, the stain looks like coffee, so you don`t have to be a genius to know that I probably tripped, and it spilt on me, but to represent it as an episode...

“Excuse me? Starbucks episode?” I asked, stunned.

“Well, I would start by saying sorry for standing behind you in the queue. I mean, you could have turned a bit slower, but I couldn`t help myself but move closer to you while you were turning because I saw your slippers, and I was curious.” he said while stopping .

“I am truly sorry Olivia. I really am.” he continued.

Of course! My luck! The stranger that I tripped over happens to be Pedro Pascal. Seriously, Universe? Seriously”

“I can`t with today. That`s it. I am cancelling today. Today never happened.” I said in a frustrated manner, causing his concern.

“I mean, I don`t think you can do that as most of it already happened, but you can try, I guess?” he said while scratching the back of his head while I was looking at him like a lost puppy seeing its favourite toy after a long time. His whole demeanour made me feel at ease. All he had to do was smile, and I was automatically in a better mood.

“I suppose I can`t. As I mentioned before, I am sorry for my apparel. I didn`t plan to do this. I didn`t even know who the client was until you walked in. I just hit the snooze button too many times. Ended up speed dressing and running through the city. By the time I was made aware of the fact that I am wearing my Baby Yoda slippers by a 6 year old, nonetheless, it was too late to go back and change. Here I am, in all my nerdy glory. Unfortunately, your photographer is a nerdy, clumsy, and awkward woman who is supposed to have her shit together cause she`s over 30 and has no desire to act her age.”

I regretted it the moment all of this left my mouth and my hands flew towards it in horror. He was in the same position, with the same boyish grin plastered on his face, looking at me like I wasn`t just ranting my frustrations to a man I just met.

"For all it`s worth, I think you are trying your hardest, and you should cut yourself some slack. Be your nerdy, clumsy, awkward self because that`s who you are meant to be. You are trying to change something that will never change, your essence. It`s who you are, Olivia, and if you ask me, I`d say so far my first impression of you is a very good one” he said reassuringly.

I took a deep breath and turned around while whispering a shy “Thank you!”, not knowing that he understood how much his words meant to me, and that he was relieved that he managed to say it without upsetting me in the process. Little did I know that the Universe has been working hard for years to make this encounter happen.

#writer #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal #fanfic #fanfiction #words #wattpad #fluff

[noelclover]

Honkai: Star Rail or "I Ramble About Luocha, Kafka, Silver Wolf and Turn Based RPGs Then Realize It's Getting Too Long, I'm Tired and Can Only Talk About One Of Them"

From looking through Youtube comments, I realized that quite a lot of people don't seem to really understand where to look for a character's power, what makes them good/bad, the main advantages and disadvantages you'd get from rolling and building them. And since I haven't written anything and I really like talking about games, I figured why not?

This will also probably be a rather long post as I've a tendency to just ramble

A key concept people don't seem to realize is that action economy is a thing. The more turns you have, the more options you get. What this also means is that free actions have quite a lot of value to them.

Counters or Follow-Ups lead to damage and possibly Breaks ((which may or may not be the Break you want, but you'll have to strategize around that)) and heals lead to a free turn for the healer, which leads to either more healing or damage, with the latter being super important because you get skill points to use abilties.

This means that characters like Kafka, March 7th and even Herta bringing in a lot of value, albeit to varying degrees.

Which leads to a conversation involving and about Luocha. While initially I had no plans to roll for him, despite him being voiced by Katsura and being a healer, I realized, upon reading his kit, that he brought a lot of convenience and quality of life to the team, so much so that I could definitely play more aggressively and not be punished for it.

You see, Luocha is a character that would have been strong even if all he had was his conditional auto healing ((Luocha heals any ally at 50% HP or under. This can only happen once every two turns)). All Mihoyo had to do was give the man this ability and another group healing ult and he would have been a strong contender against Bailu and Natasha.

((In fact, it would have been a pretty interesting balance, with Luocha being able to auto heal and thus provide options, Bailu having a ress and Natasha bringing in a cleanse)) In their infinite wisdom, Mihoyo decided to not just give him a cleanse, they gave him his healing field, which immediately ramped up his value to stupid degrees, as now every single attack from a team mate would heal themselves and, with a quick upgrade down his Trace tree, the team. While you'd often find the use of the heal field overkill, it's absolutely great when fighting bosses such as Phantylia, with every attack healing a few hundred to a thousand of the PC's HP.

To balance this, Mihoyo gave him a damage dealing ult which also removes buffs from the enemy, including resurrection. As it's not a team wide heal you have to plan a bit around enemy bursts and line up an additional ultimate or two to make sure you get some healing as the healing field comes up.

But the sheer power of the healing and off turn healing is simply so ridiculous that it barely matters. In a game where healing costs both a Skill Point and a turn, the ability to heal without using either is simply ridiculous.

To put it into perspective:

Character A uses their turn to attack and generate a skill point. Healer uses their turn to heal one character.

This means that to perform a heal, you need to expend two turns and a skill point.

However, in the case of Luocha, this changes to

Character A uses their turn to attack and generate a skill point. Luocha ignores the wounded and attacks, generating another skill point. Character A who was wounded is hit, and is now under 50% health Luocha heals Character A

So now not only did you get a heal, you've gotten two skill points, putting you in a significantly better position than if you were using another healer. Note that this does come at the risk of having your characters hit ((sub))50% HP, which can be a bit of an iffy condition sometimes, but from my experience, it's not an issue that pops up often enough to warrant concern.

This means that you could run a skill point hungry team and mostly be finem and when manually piloting the team you'll generally have enough skill points that you don't actually have to think too hard about budgeting them.

And then you get his healing field, which is basically a super healing phase to take your whole team back to full health at little to no extra cost, which is basically the advantages of his off-turn healing on steroids.

All this makes him an absolute monster at generating skill points.

Anyways, the reason why I'm talking about Luocha is that he's a great example of things to consider when rolling for a character. Honkai: Star Rail doesn't have characters that can heal off-turn without the use of their ultimates, which take three to four turns to charge up, which means he gets a strong single target heal a turn or two quicker, which is invaluable in a pinch.

A character like Luocha opens up a lot of opportunities and gives quite a lot of quality of life.

Note that this does not mean that he's a must pull, only that a character like him brings a lot more to the table than most people seem to realize.

[eyedelater]

i have written a post to encompass every thought i have had about the golden kamuy character ogata hyakunosuke. i couldn't help writing it, and here it is. it includes analysis, interpretation, confusion, thoughts about shipping, and spoilers all the way to the end of the manga.

the post is incredibly long because i wanted it all in one place... i'm sure that much of this has been said by other people, but i haven't read anything anyone else has said. this is purely between me and canon. i have now read golden kamuy through twice and watched the anime once. i missed a lot on the first read, and i probably missed some things on the second read too.

i can't help but love the character ogata hyakunosuke. i know a lot of it is the character design: sneaky eyes with built-in eyeliner, greasy all-back hairstyle with a powerful ahoge (and don't try to tell me an ahoge is not what it is), little beard that somehow skirts past my strong dislike for nasty little beards. he's so crafty… he's sorta weak in close combat… he's completely wrong about things such as killing one's parents and the nature of guilt… he's confident right up until he isn't…

normally if a character captures my interest like this, i want to ship them with another character so i can be satisfied by looking at amusing fanart of them outside of canon. but there honestly isn't anyone i want to pair him with… the fact of his eventual death notwithstanding. (i don't ship dead characters. too sad.) he's great as a cruel and calculating loner who thinks he knows what he wants but doesn't. i don't feel a need to see fun and exciting shipping antics with this character in particular. i will to look at some fanart to see what i can get out of it, but i'm really satisfied by just what happens in canon. and yet i still feel like i have to make sense of these feelings, so i'm writing a post that nobody asked for (just like all my other posts).

i'm annoyed with myself because as i was first reading golden kamuy, it took a long, long time to dawn on me that there MUST be people who think of ogata hyakunosuke as their favorite silly little cinnamon roll and make obnoxiously cute posts about what he would do in domestic situations and stuff. as we learned more about him, i became certain that some people must feel that way, Despite Everything. and i was so very annoyed by the thought of it that i decided to make it a point to dislike ogata… to buck the trend. to avoid biting the fandom bait. BUT IT DIDN'T WORK………… he grew on me… ugh. i still really, really don't want to see fluffy fics with him or anything like that though. god. i have less patience than ever for fandom content that cutesifies every character. especially fucked up weird horrible men like him <3

it's an incredibly audacious move to create a merciless sniper character who killed three (3) members of his closest family (and who knows how many soldiers) and then also give him explicitly catlike characteristics and behaviors, all the while knowing that everyone loves cats!!! (slams table.) fuck off! noda-sensei had to have been trying to induce brain-melting levels of cognitive dissonance in the minds of horny readers who desperately want catboy hyakunosuke to be their poor little meow meow but also want to cancel him for being a bad dude. i'm not immune

i like ogata in kind of the same way i like crocodile one piece. they're weird and smug and fun to watch. and of course, they're similar in some ways. the greasy all-back hair with pieces falling down, and the facial stitches, and the excessive confidence, and their voice actors being perfect. and, you know, the being villains who are eventually defeated. crocodile lets out his slow laugh whenever he feels things are going his way, and ogata just does a little shit-eating grin, and they're both perfect. key difference: ogata gets naked

i have been made aware that a non-zero amount of people ship ogata with asirpa, and those people might benefit from being run over by a car. asirpa is excluded from shipping of any sort, no exceptions, because she is 13 years old and 95% of the other characters are (bizarre, horrible) adult men. the fact that she has a one-sided crush on sugimoto for some amount of time is perfectly natural and reasonable given the circumstances (i believe that anyone would fall in love with sugimoto if they were in her place). the relationship between sugimoto and asirpa is that of a wonderful, wholesome, and strong found family.

back to ogata. i liked that during his first appearance, he gets his arm broken, gets beaned on the back of the head with his own gun, falls into a ravine, hits his face on a cliff, and bounces off the cliff into the icy river. that was so early in the story that his character design wasn't even nailed down yet, and that scene can be easy to forget, but it should be remembered. i like when ogata gets shot in the chest and the shoulder. i like when we get just a little snapshot of ogata knocked out cold at the stenka. i like the flashback of masked ogata getting his face bloodied by teen koito and then having to pretend like it never happened even though he's pissed. i like when ogata gets the snot beat out of him by usami. this is not a toga-himiko-like aesthetic preference for a man's bloody and beat-up body. rather, i love how he has strong (and justified) confidence in his one skill (sniping) and therefore seems confident overall but keeps getting busted up anyway because he's weak in close combat. it's a good dissonance.

i love seeing ogata smugly perched on things… it's like, "ah, there he is…!"

i love ogata feeling guilty about only the worst murder he committed and none of the others… he was testing his limits, and he found them. it didn't stop him from killing again, but he never got over it either.

i love ogata being the only one who chose not to hold hands and jump at the beach scene… doesn't want to make a fool of himself… but he made a funny face when he got beaned in the back of the head, didn't he. i like the ogata who gets made a fool out of.

after the ordeal with anehata shiton, ogata said that all men feel regretful and disgusted after they shoot their load. probably that's all he's ever felt, doing it with prostitutes and such, if at all. makes a little note in my notebook

ogata does terribly cruel things, and he must recognize to some degree that people will see his actions as cruel, but he doesn't do it for the sake of being cruel. he is heartless, but only when he feels he has a reason. everything is analyzed based purely on how it will affect him, and he acts that way consistently throughout the entire story. he can mime kindness if he has to, but clumsily. he cultivates a trusting relationship with asirpa purely because he understands that nopperabou is her father. he goes along with what sugimoto wants purely for convenience and because he understands how strong/dangerous sugimoto is. he shoots wilk, despite knowing that he is asirpa's father and that she will be very upset, purely because he wants to limit the spread of whatever information wilk has about the gold. he shoots sugimoto, his ally for months, not to be cruel, not as revenge for almost killing him that one time, but to eliminate a potential complication to his plan. the only one he really needs in his party is asirpa, and all asirpa is to him is the key to the gold, and all the gold is to him is a path to climb the ranks to prove that his father was worthless. his behavior is unpredictable on first read, but when rereading, it's incredibly consistent. his lack of guilt is entirely premised on what he can justify to himself, and he's great at justifying anything in his own mind. but there is a limit, and yuusaku was that limit; what haunts him most about yuusaku's death is that this time, he can't justify it. he didn't have a good reason. that causes a crack in the foundation of his entire personality, and when he gets acute aconite poisoning from asirpa's arrow, the anxiety it brings is what causes that crack to spread and his entire ego to collapse.

can someone count how many panels feature ogata's face and then also count how many of those panels show him smoothing back his greasy hair and give me some kind of ratio? i think it's high. i think the ratio is high. though i didn't notice until a couple hundred chapters in. but on reread it's like yeah, every other ogata panel, he's got his hand on his head. i do like when an author commits to a tic. no one else in the story has such an obvious repeating tic, i think. he even gets a nade nade (pet pet) sound effect when he's smoothing his hair repeatedly out of nervousness (after he shot the reindeer by accident).

have i mentioned i hate nasty little beards but ogata's slides right in under the gate? that's another cognitive dissonance for me, and it's tough. hard to get over this one.

"daily affirmations i Can be normal about that man"

~quote from deleted post by a tumblr user who maybe doesn't want credit bc they deleted their post

he dishes out smug grins when things are going his way, but he dishes out WRY grins when things AREN'T going his way! hoargh! (throwing up hands)

it's worth noting, to defend my honor, that ogata is not the only one who grew on me. everyone grew on me. another important one is tsukishima, who i admit i wasn't paying very much attention to until they started heading toward karafuto (during the first reading) and then i was like, that was the guy in the coal mine... right? oh, he's been there The Whole Time. and his design didn't change very much. he grew on me a lot. first you think snake nose, but then you think bunny nose. (someone on pixiv said gorilla nose? i don't like that…) his little beard doesn't strike me as nasty either (why not?? i don't know.) of course, koito was the boy of the hour as soon as he first appeared, and i paid a normal amount of attention to him. (the only part of his design that changed is that his eyebrows got stronger and his parted hair got fixed. actually his part seems to fluctuate between messy and neat.) i really like the dynamic of koito being a needy younger pain-in-the-ass to tsukishima while outranking him and being taller than him. in japanese, tsukishima always addresses him with polite speech, and koito rarely even addresses tsukishima with an honorific. tsukikoi seems to be a good and semi-wholesome ship… you know, semi-wholesome. listen, they end up together forever at the end, so it's fine. you guys can make obnoxiously cute posts about what they would do in domestic situations if you want. so anyway, it's not just ogata who got my attention. but it is ogata who this post is about, so let's end this paragraph and leave room for more notes.

Noda-sensei will use any and every opportunity to show you the silhouette of a dick and balls swinging around during an action scene where people happen to be naked. However, he doesn't do that with Ogata. The reason is that he wants you to remember that Ogata is a serious bad guy character and doesn't want you laughing at his dick and balls. For the same reason, he also precludes Ogata from partaking in the horny otter sumo wrestling. In this essay, I will-- ok just kidding, they showed his dick and balls when he kicked koito in the face. and then they showed that exact panel again a few chapters later. with his dick and balls again.

i bet the hyaku in hyakunosuke is obviously referring to getting a 100% hit rate. (hyaku means 100, same kanji and everything. -nosuke is a common ending for a boy's name.) or to put it in sogeking terms, 100 shots, 100 hits, lu lu la la lu

it's interesting that out of the 4 people we see tsurumi gratuitously manipulate into loyalty, ogata is the only one where it doesn't stick very well. to be fair, tsurumi played his game with ogata a bit differently than with the others. he helped ogata kill his father and promised to help him rise through the ranks, but ogata didn't understand at first that tsurumi had an ulterior motive that would make hanazawa's death a win-win for him. it was usami who brought up mantetsu and made ogata understand he was being manipulated. but even knowing that, he thought tsurumi might uphold the other part of his end of the deal by helping ogata get into the army academy, so he was willing to play along. of course, tsurumi's time was split between everyone he was trying to manipulate (as well as pursuing his main goals), so everything couldn't happen at once. another problem was that each of them wanted to be daddy's only special little boy, and ogata was no exception, so he got impatient upon seeing him pay attention to the others and thought tsurumi wasn't working to help him fast enough. it was only when ogata decided that tsurumi wasn't holding up his end of the deal that he decided to betray him by working for central (in the hopes that central could uphold a similar deal instead). i think i'm getting that right. compared to what tsurumi did for tsukishima, he didn't do that much for ogata. but tsukishima was his masterpiece of manipulation-- look how much he got out of him. in the end, tsurumi wanted to cultivate soldiers who are dogs among sheep, but of course, ogata is a cat in that metaphor…

i didn't read the manga well enough the first time and was thinking that ogata's failure to advance in the ranks was because he just wasn't really good at anything but sniping, and sniping wasn't properly appreciated by the higher-ups. while those two things are basically true, i now understand that he couldn't get promoted because he didn't attend the necessary school and was ineligible for any promotion above his current rank, regardless of his skills. and that's why his roundabout desire to climb in the ranks was hinged on his going back to school, which he couldn't do without the help of either tsurumi or central. so complicated…

people ship ogata and sugimoto, and i'm really torn about that. they do look kinda good together, but first and foremost, sugimoto deserves better (and he deserves a character who doesn't die at the end). i also think that the dynamic between those two is not that fun or interesting-- yeah, they almost kill each other and then save each other, etc., and that's fun, but i mean all the other interactions. i think there's not that much potential between them. plus ogata shoots him in the head. maybe that part should have come first and foremost. he does shoot the man in the head. that being said, of course, there's not a lot of great options for sugimoto to begin with, so i understand when people want to put him with ogata-- they need someone for sugimoto to be horny with, and they need someone for ogata to be horny with. like, who else do we have for sugimoto? shiraishi? you could argue for it… tanigaki? but what he has with inkarmat is pretty good, and i hate to sully canon romances by shipping against them. kiroranke? dies. anyone in the army? they're living in different worlds at the end of the story… just not a lot of great options for sugimoto, who deserves the best. also, if ogata and sugimoto had anything between them, ogata's death would make sugimoto sad, and i wouldn't like that.

shiraishi/ogata might be funny though. i like that scene when shiraishi is like "boy am i hungry!" to the man with a gun who likes to hunt and ogata doesn't say anything or look at him. (other good options for shiraishi include kiroranke [who dies] and boutarou [who dies]. that's 3 for 3 dead. unfortunate.)

i saw some ogata fanart. some artists like to give him Sneaky Squints and Crafty Grin all the time. he is sneaky, and he has distinctive eyes, but i think canon makes it clear that Sneaky Squints and Crafty Grin is a very rare special occasion thing, and a huge majority of the time he only has Glassy Eyes and nothing at all going on with the mouth. and that is the righteous truth. in a manga, facial expressions are a very important part of characterization, especially for characters who are always around but not always involved, so i prefer fanart where people try to emulate (and exaggerate) the faces a character makes in canon instead of assigning their preferred faces to a given character. (an unrelated example of this assigning of preferences would be taking two complex characters and turning one into Stoic Seme and the other into Weepy Uke. it is shocking how thoroughly and audaciously people will squish characters into those two molds. what a waste of time.) i get that i'm probably in the top 1% of sticklerism when it comes to wanting characters to adhere strictly to canon in certain ways, but it's because i strongly feel that canon ogata who is making a neutral Ogata Face 95% of the time and a rare Other Face 5% of the time is true and beautiful. to sully that by tailoring his character to your preferences is your prerogative, but to hate that is also my prerogative. not that i would ever leave negative comments or anything along those lines, ever. because that's stupid and a waste of time. the most time i will waste in that way is the time it takes to write what i've been writing here.

ogata dakimakura is permitted but it has to be ogata laid up on a stretcher, wrapped up, splinted arm, with his face all puffy after getting dumped in the river by sugimoto. or it has to be ogata standing up wearing his uniform complete with little cape and his gun on his back and looking through his binoculars into the distance. or it has to be a watchtower spanning the length of the pillow and ogata is perched in it, looking through his binoculars into the distance.

i hate the relationship between ogata and usami. usami is the ultimate slimy little dog (derogatory). nasty little freak usami. ogata is wrong about almost everything, but he was right about usami being the cheapest piece on tsurumi's gameboard. nasty little wannabe sexual predator usami. that scene where ogata's like "i'm normal, right?" and usami is affirming all the things he's wrong about, it's like, the man is fucked up enough already! i can't believe i'm saying this, but you're a corrupting influence on him! i don't like how usami calls ogata "hyakunosuke" like they're friends… tsurumi calls him that because he's manipulating him and a cool dad calls his special little boy by his given name, but usami fucking hates him, and yet he calls him that anyway. something gross about it. usami's death was perfect. nasty little death. and i liked how ogata kept quiet due to bullet in mouth while usami was going on and on saying whatever he wanted while he beat the shit out of him, and then usami left after getting shot, and ogata felt compelled to say his one-liner to himself. fuckin nerd

i like the ogata who is seriously, seriously wondering if he's being haunted by his brother's ghost.

i think my one main beef with everyday heroes scans, who did an overall great job scanlating, is that they should have kept honorifics. keeping honorifics is a tough choice to make for a translator because it can be confusing for an english reader, especially when you come across one that's out of the standard few. but i was very surprised to find upon watching the anime that sugimoto calls asirpa "asirpa-san"; i had no way of knowing that in the manga! even though she's so much younger than him, even when their relationship becomes very close, even when yelling out her name in moments of desperation, he keeps the honorific. it might just be out of habit, but i think it indicates how much he respects her. it might be small, but something is lost by omitting the -san. honorifics and the ways people address each other are very important in japanese, and because this story takes place chiefly in japan, chiefly among japanese (and japanese-speaking) characters, i think keeping honorifics would have been perfectly appropriate in this circumstance. i also think it would have clarified some things for the readers rather than confusing them. (for contrast, it would make perfect sense to omit honorifics in a story that doesn't take place in japan but just happens to be written in japanese… though some meaning would still be lost.) (side note: EH scans does in fact keep some honorifics: the ainu word "nispa.") and sometimes, omitting the honorific in a context where it is important can make the translated wording MORE awkward. the example i'm thinking of is when ogata is recovering in the hospital and the scanlation shows him muttering, "yuusaku… sir…" now i'm 98% sure that ogata called yuusaku "yuusaku-dono," even though younger siblings typically get no honorifics, because yuusaku outranked him (and also maybe to show distance between them), and that's what he's muttering in that scene. i think it's less weird to call your younger half-sibling "-dono" in japanese than it would be to call your younger half-sibling "sir" in english. it's an in-between level of respect (and distance) that doesn't exist in english. so it became weirder in english, and leaving the honorific would have preserved that meaning. well, i do respect that EH scans made their decision about honorifics in the very beginning and then stuck with it to the very end. i guess it would have been worse if they selectively added in SOME honorifics when they thought it was important. but my opinion is that they should have made the decision to keep honorifics from the beginning.

in chapter 283, ogata falls asleep on the train and dreams of his mother singing a traditional song to him about how the way there is easy, but the way back is scary. i think the symbolism is clearly that it was easy for him to kill his mother and his brother, but it's not easy (or possible) to take it back. it's a one-way path that he chose. it's another subconscious manifestation of his feelings of guilt.

now here is something i've been puzzling over but which everyone but me has probably already made sense of. i think this is the only part of the manga that has stuck with me BECAUSE i am confused by it. chapter 199, page 6. kidnapped koito otonoshin, whose father just told him over the phone that he cannot be saved, is saying something heartbreaking in reply, and one of his captors is rubbing his back as if to comfort him. what else could that be but a comforting hand? am i mistaken? and it's got to be important because it takes up THREE panels! now, if you're like me and you've decided that tsukikoi is the OTP of golden kamuy, your first thought was to want tsukishima to be the one under the white hat, and ogata is the one watching disapprovingly because he's a jerk. but otonoshin smacks and bloodies the face of man in the white hat with the back of his head, and the wounds we later see (and basically everything else) make it clear that the white hat was ogata. (then of course they put those hats on russian-looking corpses that they obtained… somehow. kidnapped off the street?) (side note: when they take the white hat and mask off one of the corpses, otonoshin should have been suspicious right away, because that guy's nose wasn't bloodied or anything. but i'll let his lack of perception slide given the circumstances. unless he remembers it in a later chapter and i'm the one who forgot.) anyway, so it was clearly ogata who rubbed otonoshin's back, which seems really weird and out of character. i was thinking that it must have been that tsurumi gave them orders along the lines of not completely breaking the kid's will and making sure he isn't too physically or emotionally hurt (or else he and his father wouldn't be usable in the future). this would gel with the fact that tsurumi seems slightly surprised/perturbed when commander koito says he's going to tell otonoshin to die for his country (because of course that's not what tsurumi wants or had planned for). so maybe ogata interpreted those orders, thought otonoshin was giving up on life, and decided that he should make sure the kid's will wasn't completely broken by providing a little comfort. and then the glare from the black hat is tsukishima with a sentiment like, "you're giving the game away, you dumb piece of shit! captors wouldn't do that! ESPECIALLY IF THEY DON'T SPEAK JAPANESE!" but another possibility occurs to me. we heard from ogata when he was pointing his gun at huci that he doesn't want to just kill someone's grandma if he can help it. he's a cold-blooded killer when he thinks he has a reason, but maybe he does have the thinnest sentimental streak when it comes to people he does not perceive as a threat. so maybe that thin streak is showing here? kidnapping some weak kid might have been the dirtiest work tsurumi had ever put him up to at that point. (did he kill his father before or after this? but was that even dirty work to him, when he felt he had a good reason?) maybe he honestly felt emotionally reluctant to traumatize a defenseless 16-year-old like that, so he reached out to comfort him without thinking. i wonder what is the fandom consensus about that page, yet i feel reluctant to look it up… but whichever scenario it is, tsukishima's glare has to be him thinking, "man, you suck at dirty work." (and afterward, ogata glares at otonoshin because he's angry and humiliated that he underestimated how much of a threat a bound 16-year-old posed to him.)

EDIT: regarding the above paragraph, i think i've realized the correct interpretation. it's not that the situation of kidnapping a kid has activated ogata's thin sentimental streak. it's the specific circumstances of the lines that were just said: commander koito saying he could not save otonoshin, and otonoshin apologizing to his father and asking him to pretend he had never been born. that combination of circumstances was maybe the only thing that could flip ogata's empathy switch enough to make him reach out a comforting hand. he probably feels with great certainty that if he himself had ever been kidnapped and held for ransom, his own father would have told him to die for his country as well, and he might even have said a similar line in response. the pain otonoshin felt in that moment was so clear to ogata that he couldn't help but comfort him... it's a key emotional character development moment for ogata... with his face covered... but of course he misinterpreted otonoshin's resilience and that's how he got his nose bashed.

i cried a lot when i first read ogata's death chapter, and i cried a lot the second time too. i think noda-sensei might be a genius… one thing that didn't register on first reading was that ogata must have enjoyed the time he spent traveling with asirpa and the others in a way, even if he didn't exactly realize it. asirpa reminded him of yuusaku, not just in her innocence, but in the way she trusted him and ate with him and joked with him and treated him as if he were "normal" (when he believes he isn't normal). ogata was yearning for familial love his whole life; he just fixated on getting it only from his father, which wasn't going to happen, and ignored what he got from his mother and his brother. yuusaku was the only one who loved him, but he got some of that warm familial feeling from asirpa and the others as well, even though he usually acted cold. (i think he said "hinna" primarily to manipulate asirpa... but maybe after saying it, he felt happy.) and now, not only did he have to deal with his mistake of killing yuusaku, but here he was trying to kill asirpa too! not only that, but he was corrupting her into killing HIM, and he thought he wanted that, but he didn't! he couldn't even accept his old guilt, and now he was foolishly inflicting new guilt, as if by compulsion! it's so painful! as he breaks down, we see him realizing his mistake in real time, how his goal of proving his father worthless was itself worthless all along, how he didn't actually need to kill any of his family, how he was following the wrong path based on his delusions and misunderstandings his whole life, and it hurts him so much… and he tries to deny it, but he's having it explained to him by himself, and he can only trust himself… whenever he felt conflicted about anything, he would just find some way stamp out the opposing view and believe in himself, but now, both sides were him, so he couldn't do that, and as a result, he was defeated. the chapter was very emotionally powerful… he died a coward's death because, never having confronted his guilt before, he couldn't imagine being able to live with it… and vasily found his body by the railroad tracks and painted his fursona.

you could ship ogata with vasily but the fact remains that they spend vasily's entire span of appearance in the manga in a fight to the death and then one of them dies. also he shot vasily in the mouth. you can't shoot a mouth with your gun and then try to kiss it later. that's inappropriate

the last time ogata shoots sugimoto, he doesn't aim for the head. it's as though he learned his lesson. but it still didn't work, did it?

i saw the ogata nendoroid and took damage from it. hate it. i don't want any more chibis...

it seems that some things are changed in the volume releases of golden kamuy. i have only read the scanlated magazine releases. i wonder if i can be content to decide that this is the end of my ogata post when i don't know if any important ogata details were changed in the volumes. i would also like to read and compare the official translation. one thing i want to see in the volume releases is if noda-sensei ever goes back and adds teeth to the white voids of characters' mouths. it is incredibly clear to me that noda-sensei truly, viscerally hates drawing teeth. that's fair, but i do prefer even the vaguest semblance of teeth to a white void of a mouth. when he does draw teeth, they usually look perfectly passable. anyway, my next project will be deciding how to get my hands on the official translated volumes and then rereading again.

i think that might be all i have to say about ogata hyakunosuke right now.

#golden kamuy #ogata hyakunosuke #hyakunosuke ogata #golden kamuy spoilers